Hey autistic and or depressed folks! How do y'all find the energy to brush your teeth/ how to you deal with the texture of toothpaste? Now that I'm officially diagnosed, I understand that this is a common issue.

I usually just sort of stick my head under the faucet and brush with running water instead of toothpaste, but that's if I have enough energy to, and its starting to hurt my neck.

Please help me!

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Dentist made me feel really bad and felt like I was getting a bad score in going to the dentist and then when he was lecturing me he made me feel really bad and like I didn't ever take care of my teeth and I made the big mistake of eating I had food "all in and over my teeth" and he was just really rude and when I was saying sorry i had eaten like 30 minutes ago he was just still very rude and almost stopped his explanation bc I Didn't Care and Wasn't Getting the point that you Don't Do That before the dentist and I should've brushed so. Feeling great like I know he said he cares about me as a patient but I wasn't feeling it then

the depression has hit me like an acme anvil for the past few weeks (normal this time of year i get the Pee Tee Ess Dee wave the second november even sniffles) and ive been struggling with some routine things as depression is ought to do

but ill be damned. i have not missed a day of brushing my teeth literally all year!!! literally unprecedented im stoked

tips for brushing teeth regularly

i have struggled with brushing my teeth regularly for a while now but i have recently gotten better at doing it a couple times a week now instead of like, once a month, and i figured i should share some things that helped me.

generally speaking, the reason why someone isnt brushing their teeth will fall into one of the following categories:

forgetfulness

not liking the taste

not liking the texture

not enough stimulation during the task

lack of spoons

its a good idea to try to identify which of the categories you fall into. i am mostly forgetfulness but the others are mixed in there too. they also often overlap quite a bit

forgetfulness/lack of spoons

not every one of these tips will work for both, but a lot of them overlap enough that i figured it may aswell be one category for the sake of brevity

try keeping your toothbrush in your shower or next to your bed or somewhere that you are likely to see it and have time to use it. i have three toothbrushes in different places in my house

incorporating brushing my teeth into my shower routine has really really helped me ( i mention it a bunch, sorry in advance)

allow yourself to brush your teeth at any time of the day, not just when you "should" be. brushing your teeth at 1pm before lunch is better than not brushing your teeth at all

if they help, set alarms reminding you to do it

i keep a set of those floss/toothpick combos next to my bed that i use whenever i am watching a youtube video or something which is especially good when ive missed a couple days

if you have housemates that youre willing to ask, see if you can brush your teeth with them

easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up when you dont brush your teeth. youll just start to associate it with that bad feeling

taste

there are starting to be some fun flavors of toothpaste, its worth trying to get one that you like the taste of

if you cant find one that you like the taste of, dry-brushing is better than nothing

brushing in the shower helps really rinse out your mouth properly so you no longer taste any toothpaste (otherwise i usually have to keep going back to the sink every two seconds)

texture

if you can stand it, mouthwash is your friend

experiment with different kinds of brushes or toothpaste as some brushes are softer/tougher and some toothpastes froth more or less

if you cant do toothbrushes at all, using your finger is absolutely okay, or wet cloth of some kind

both taste/texture

try to find a way to scrape off buildup on your teeth. like i already mentioned, I keep floss next to my bed and that is quite helpful when trying to scrape stuff off. a cloth would also work i imagine

general tips

try watching something or listening to something while brushing your teeth

dont be afraid to get silly with it!

get a fun toothbrush! they are usually advertised to young kids and so might be a little small for your mouth but a toothbrush is a toothbrush!

same for fun toothpaste! and mouthwash!

i saw someone talk about how they got 7 different flavors of toothpaste to have a different kind every day of the week

if you can, try to leave the toothpaste in your mouth for as long as possible (without swallowing it of course)

floss!!

if you can, use mouthwash!

i know that it is super hard to do sometimes, but brushing your teeth is so important.

if you have any tips of your own please share them!

i hate brushing my teeth. i usually do it in the shower because then i am already doign the work of being otherwise clean so like. might as well go all the way. can just stand there while in warm water and the time feels faster.

also i realized at some point that theres no BAD time to brush my teeth! it doesnt have to be after a meal or before bed! if im in the bathroom like hm oh yeah i guess i should do that. i just try to do it. even for like 30 seconds or at a weird time of day.

agree with the people saying mouthwash and soft toothbrush also! or those tiny disposable on-the-go toothbrushes, i sometimes keep those by my bed for when i'm having a shitty time and dont want to get up to do things.

i still forget some days and i almost never floss but i think anything that makes it easier helps.

thank you <3 love the point about there not being a bad time to brush teeth!

Just added the crest whitening mouthwash to my iherb cart cos of you. Do you have any experience using Therabreath products? Only asking so I can be convinced never to repurchase.

Also pls keep the product recommendations coming! ❤️

consumerism is so beautiful. okay well i just checked and Procter & Gamble (P&G) is on the boycott list so id suggest literally any whitening mouthwash like theyre not special theyre all the same ingredients. just get one thats alcohol free and whitening.

also i havent used Therabreath products im sure if they have a whitening one itll work. um idk for my breath i kinda just brush my tongue and floss and thats always worked. n if ppl have bad breath generally it could b bc of tonsil stones and those r usually formed when food gets lodged in between ur teeth n u dont floss to get it out so when ur sleeping it gets dislodged and gets stuck in ur tonsils so just floss every night. 17 years going strong i wish they made like a silicone floss that u could wash n reuse 17 years worth of floss doesnt sound good for the environment

Id trade my teeth being whiter for not having sensitive gums... Like if i don't brush my teeth floss n use mouthwash every twelve hours next time I floss theres this area that bleeds... Its also super sensitive.... Neway acid reflux warriors dont b like n be in constant nerve pain get fluoride everything

I take the time to floss and use a waterpik...

Then, I walk away and scroll on Tumblr for 30 minutes and wonder why can't I just focus and brush my teeth

Ever since getting mouthwash i have been doing a lot better with dental hygiene!

I originally got it to do when i dont do anything else so i at least do *something*.

But instead what happens is it gets me in the restroom and i go, well, im already here 👀.. and brush my teeth. Then i see the floss and i go, well, i AM already HERE 👀.. and i floss. And then i finish off with the mouthwash because i mean. Ive made it this far! And maybe itll help anything i mightve missed, instead of being the only thing I do.

Ontop of getting me into the restroom with a good hygiene mindset, it also helps me break the whole process into what feels like more manageable steps

do u have any advice on how to cope with a delusion that makes me think nasty things have been done to my toothbrush, food, and drinks.. I am completely unable to ever brush my teeth now and it’s affecting my health… how do I know it has or hasn’t happened? it doesn’t help that it HAS happened to family members by a certain family member I live with and I can’t buy/make my own stuff

i dont really know how much help i can offer you because i have never even been able to cope with my own delusions in a productive/healthy way but i've got some work-arounds for you --

brush your teeth with your finger (and toothpaste) instead, or if possible invest in a metal dental tool. mouthwash sucks but it might be your friend here too. you may be able to find some chewing sticks on etsy too which are what folks used to brush their teeth with like a million years ago. gum and mints can help freshen your breath, and i think there's even brands of gum you can get which can promote dental health. if you've got sensory issues, there are certain chewables you can get which also help (the ones which are marketed towards babies and have like, silicone bristles.) floss or floss-picks may also be able to help. i know you mentioned not being able to buy your own stuff and most of this does include buying but this is the best variety i can give you in terms of options on work-arounds. hopefully this helps some :0)

I can’t remember if it was you or someone else so if it wasn’t you please ignore this, but did you make a post abt brushing your teeth awhile ago? I have a lot of trouble doing it and remember to do it and it’s really concerning me since I keep having dreams about my teeth falling out and I was wondering if you had any tips or solutions to help?

i did! but it was mostly an inspirational post and didnt have a lot of tips, so here are some tips ive learned over the years from my dentist (i am not a dentist or a dental professional, but this is all advice ive been given in the past.  your experience may vary. consult with your dentist for anything serious like bleeding, extreme sensitivity, and pain when chewing or drinking)

- your teeth should hardly ever touch unless youre chewing. try to catch yourself biting your lips or nails, grinding/gritting your teeth, or moving your jaw too much. if its a big problem for you, chewing sugar free gum might help (or getting a nightguard)

- always floss Before you brush your teeth, that way the stuff you get out from between your teeth gets brushed away. if you do it afterward that stuff will just sit there on your teeth.

- brush Gently with a soft bristled toothbrush. if you brush long enough (two minutes or so) you should be able to get all the teeth and it wont feel scummy, but if youre too rough with the brush, you could damage your gums.

- dont rinse your mouth with water after brushing, because that will wash away all the toothpaste. you Should rinse with a mouthwash that has lots of fluoride in it (it helps if your toothpaste has lots of fluoride too). dont eat or drink anything for 30 minutes after that.

- DONT CHEW HARD CANDIES. be careful when chewing tough things like taffy or jerky, and be extra cautious about small things like sesame seeds, poppy seeds, raspberry/blackberry seeds, and chips. ive broken fillings with all of these things. 

- the string dental floss around your fingers is better than floss picks or tips. it has better reach around each tooth and it generally picks up more stuff.

- get regular dental cleanings, if not every six months, then at least once a year. they can scrape off all the stuff you cant reach and theyll be able to spot cavities before they worsen. if you can Feel a cavity (sensitivity in one spot, extreme cold/heat sensitivity) schedule an appointment Immediately. sometimes dental sensitivity is just due to the placement of your nerves or how your tooth enamel is, and it isnt always a cavity, but it helps to be certain.

take it from someone with two gold teeth and tons of fillings, that brushing your teeth is Really important. set reminders on your phone or your watch, put up sticky notes in the bathroom, even brush your teeth in the shower if thatll help you. but making it part of your routine is recommended (especially now that most dental offices are Closed and lots of people are losing their insurance). if you have dental anxiety like i do, communicate with your dentist and try to come up with things that will help you. if i have to have cleanings or fillings done, i usually wear headphones and listen to music to get over the sounds. dont ever give up on your teeth! also, good luck!

hey! im assuming everyone deals with this from time to time, and your advice is usually very helpful (and i trust you fjsbfb) but do you have any tips on falling asleep? the past few days i haven't slept, and it's not great for lil ol me 😅 if not, that's okay! thanks for reading this anyway! i love you, smooches 💙 - Gobs

ah hi gobs!!! sorrry this took so long to get back to! yes i would love to offer some tips 

ok first one and i hate this but (•ˋ _ ˊ•) unfortunatly . what is ur caffeine intake like? maybe cut down on that, it helped me a lot 

tea before bed is so nice!!!! some good relaxing ones that are my fav are Honey Vanilla Chamomile, Kava Kava (this one is uh not for everyone, it makes your mouth numb and has some weird kinda stoned effects, very mild but nice and relaxing, but google it before hand and ask ur doc etc etc), same with Blue Lotus tea is like that, i love Sweet Wild Orange tea also! tea is very relaxing and i reccomend IM NOT A DOCTOR ALSO! PLS NO ONE COME AT ME 

a little stretching before bed is very nice imo! i am always sore lol so ill look up on youtube a little yoga session for whatever im sore with (like, gentle hip openers, or shoulder stretching or whatever), one channel i like is yoga with adriene 

meditation? i mean i kinda hate meditating but i like body scans? i like a lot, you can find those on youtube as well! theres also lots of good sleep podcasts or apps that will play different things for you, you can experiment and find what is most relaxing for you (maybe its rain sounds or ASMR or calm music or visualizations or body scans or meditation I don't know! try some out see what you like!) my fav ever that i listen to constantly is this “Relax Into Deep Sleep” by Meg James its on the Insight Timer Meditation App (free and i reccomend), (Meg James has a whole course on “Simple Tools For Self Acceptance I highly recommend!)

try to figure out what it is about sleep that is hard for you, and try to target that! for me for instance, a big problem is keeping my eyes closed long enough to get to sleep, and i found that making an eye pillow out of rice and dried lavander and a new sock tied with a string does the trick to help me weigh down my eyes and keep em closed! If its anxiety, try to use a meditation, another thing that was hard for me to overcome was being cold all the time, so now i sleep with a hot water bottle and it helps cause i can move it to my toes or wherever is cold 

comfy pjs or naked but make sure u comfy and prioritize that

stuffed animals :) i love to spoon Crystal my big pink unicorn! or holding lapin to my chest as i sleep is really comforting to me :) 

try to keep a semi consistent sleep schedule i promise it helps it sucks and its hard but it helps 

I reccomend a routine, it doesnt have to be complicated just something that you do every night to signal to your body its time to wind down. my night time routine is really chill and helps me wind down, try to figure out what the best one is for you but this is mine: shower, get out of shower, have a tea while i lotion my whole body (wait for it to soak in), put on pjs, and do my skin care (toner, lotion). when my teas done i brush teeth (floss and mouthwash if its a good day), put in my retainer, then i sit in bed, spray my pillow and around me with a spray bottle filled with water, vanilla extract and lavander oil, then I put hand lotion and lip balm on, turn off the lights, queue up something to listen to, set my alarms, then i put my little sleep mask on and  its night time :) 

some products i like if u wanna treat urself: sleepy body lotion from lush, some nice smelling candles from the dollar store, lavander essential oil (to put in a spray bottle for nice soothing smells)  and teas i reccomended ;) (or whatever teas u like!!! if u dont know what u like get a caffeine free sampler pack from Twinings or Celestial Seasonings and see what u like!)

i also like to do a to do list before i go to bed so i can get all the shit off my mind that i need to do coming up, i also will keep a note pad by my bed so if im having obsessive or anxious thoughts and they are keeping me up to the point i cant sleep i can just scribble them down and then i feel like they’re out and i can re-visit them later instead of feeling the need to obsess over them in the moment 

Melatonin? is a thing u can try? I got it prescribed when i was younger but it never did anything for me really but you can buy it over the counter and ask your doctor etc etc but yeah maybe thats somehting you could look into ? AGAIN NOT A DOCTOR ASK UR DOCTOR 

thats all i got for now i hope it may help you or others !!! not sleeping is hard but we can get there! 

mental health tips on coping with a major depressive episode

i’m not talking about manageable depression right now. i’m talking about the moment when The Void kicks in. getting a shower doesn’t fit in this case, nor going outside to get sunlight and fresh air. because i’m not sad, i feel empty, and i don’t have the will or strength to talk to anyone or move a finger outside of my bed. and i just isolate and stay there to rot and let it pass.

keep a big vase of water next to you to drink sips of when you can.

if you don’t have strength to eat or are afraid to binge, get some fruits nearby, bananas are easier. a bar makes it too.

get on one side and put a pillow tightly behind your back. cuddle another pillow or a pet if possible. the sensation of closeness contains.

sleep it off. it’s okay to rest, your brain is in a chemical fight.

remember to go to the bathroom. AND TAKE YOUR MEDS.

good time to binge on a series if you can.

rain sound or white noise is soothing.

if you can’t shower, that’s okay. try changing your clothes, it makes you feel a little fresh.

don’t beat yourself up for the days when you’re not “productive”, even if your depressive episode lasts months and the only productive thing you can do is survive.

open up your windows for some fresh air.

listen to some nice calming music in the background or watch tv (you can also put it on for the background).

cuddle with a pet/stuffed toy.

watch something funny/or memes.

make sure your room is a comfortable temperature. sometimes, when i’m really depressed i don’t notice until i’m shivering or pouring sweat.

if you only have the energy for one hygiene task, use it to apply deodorant daily. it makes you feel cleaner.

if you have long hair and you can’t wash it, keep it in buns or ponytails so it isn’t in your face or stuck to your neck.

be gentle with yourself, you are doing your best to survive.

i put my phone on airplane mode, given that i don’t have the energy to interact with other humans whatsoever.

you dont have to brush your teeth for two minutes, floss, use mouthwash, and put in your retainer. you can do some or one of those things. brushing your teeth for fifteen seconds will do more than for zero seconds, and using mouthwash alone will do more than doing nothing.

read your favourite book.

if you can, talk to someone. reach out for help, it can be someone you trust. if you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to, there are so many mental health accounts that will listen, we care. you aren’t alone. my dms are always open.

remember that you matter so much, you are needed. you are loved. keep fighting. don’t give up, there will be better days. you are so brave for being here. i’m so proud of you for being alive. your best is enough. you are doing enough. stay.

source: donutsandhappiness.__ on instagram

About the cup with brushing your teeth! If you do a little googling (which I'm telling you so you dont think I'm batshit crazy) its actually better to not swish water in your mouth at all! Maybe spit an extra time to get it off your tongue, but its better to let the toothpaste sit on your teeth and do the toothpaste thing. I know it probably sounds gross but I promise its really not that bad

I have never heard of anyone doing that. I've seen it in films and thought it was weird but also thought it was just film things.

But then you're gonna be swallowing toothpaste and I'm not about that life. And how do you floss with all the toothpaste left on your teeth? Do you mix the toothpaste leftover with the mouthwash in your mouth? That doesn't sound like it tastes any good.

I was always taught both at home and at school that you brush, you wash, you floss and then mouthwash.

Basic Etiquette

DO: Be respectful on the phone or in emails.  A nice email that says more than “45, male, attractive, 6 foot, need appointment Sunday at 3” goes a very long way. Introduce yourself, be polite as you would with anyone else you had never met.  Remember she is a person and would probably appreciate knowing more about you than your age and height before agreeing to meet you, a stranger. Read the provider’s website.  The night before your appointment give it another look over, so you know how and where she wants you to leave the donation and any other important ‘policies’ she may have.  If she has an etiquette page, give it a read as well.  It’s there to make things go smoothly for everyone involved. I’m not saying you have to sit there and memorise everything she’s ever said, but it’s written to make your appointment go smoothly.  The website is not only a marketing tool for the provider, but a tool for you to use to put yourself at ease. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES! Call the provider from the car if you need any location details clarified.  Do not call in the lobby of the hotel, her building, or anywhere that you can be overheard. Most women are trying to maintain discretion, so you’ll want to have any kind of buzzer code (or directions to her hotel room) before you even walk inside so it looks like you know exactly where you’re going. Do not ever use her working name at the buzzer, do not ever use it at her door.  Providers generally want it to look like an old friend is coming to visit and so they need you need to be discreet.  Buzz up and say something simple.  I asked my visitors to buzz up and say “Hey it’s me,” and I would then buzz them up without replying (they would hear a beep as I pressed the entry button). I did not take questions at the buzzer, I did not speak.  If buzzer time comes and you have a question, walk away from the building (again, get in your car if possible) and call the lady’s private cell phone to ask.  Never talk to hotel staff, concierges or anyone around and never mention a woman’s working name outside of your car or her apartment/hotel room.  This is a good way to raise suspicion and stress out a lady. Make sure you know her restrictions and respect them.  EXAMPLE:  If she offers CBJ, do not ask for or expect BBBJ.  No matter what may have read in a review, it’s really just best to respect what you’ve seen on her site or ads no matter what rumours have surfaced.  Please remember sometimes reviews are done with a “check box” format and it’s very easy to check the WRONG box between CBJ and BBBJ without even noticing. You risk offending a lady by asking for a service she has never advertised providing.  Provider’s are not oversensitive – however there are a lot of assholes who try to ask/push for services that she does offer.  It can put a woman on the defensive, because it has to.  When someone tries to push for services you don’t offer, you go into “protective” mode to avoid being forced.  Do not risk ending up putting a lady on the defensive and being lumped in with those guys by making a simple mistake based on a review. Take a shower either before the appointment or at it if offered.  Beforehand, please trim your fingers and toenails.  Being scratching someone with ragged toenails/fingernails is a big turn off.  A good tip I’ve heard is to prepare for it as you would any other date where you think you are getting sex. Trimming or shaving (your preference) anything you expect a mouth to go on or around is a plus.  It’s can serve as a sign for providers that you want certain areas kissed/licked.  If you don’t at the very least trim, many providers will take it as a sign you aren’t interested in that particular act. Make sure that you trim/shave THE DAY BEFORE the appointment in case you cut yourself!!. The last thing you want (safety wise) is an open cut in your genital area before sex with ANY new partner. Day after stubble is much better than a cut! Following up with the last ‘tip’:  Ask for what you want, how you want it.  I don’t mean for you to bark orders, but if you aren’t clear about what you want you may end up disappointed.  Perhaps you have not trimmed or shaved the area between your testicles and anus1 but would like a touch there.  Let her know! If you do not ask her for what you want and end up disappointed, do not write a negative review – that’s VERY unfair to her as she is not a mind reader. If you do not ask for what you want and end up disappointed it is NOT her fault. Along the same line, PLEASE tell the provider if it’s “not going to happen” for you.  Most will do whatever they can to make it happen and it goes a long way if a man says something and you two can discuss what else she can do for you in the time left.  Perhaps a massage would be nice, or just laying in bed talking.  But try to avoid frustrating you and her if the plumbing is not running well that day. Bring your own condoms JUST IN CASE.  Make sure they are in an UNOPENED BOX.  Be prepared and expect to use hers as there are men who tamper with them.  The exception to this would be if you are an irregular size or have allergies.  Then you should be prepared to use yours after inspection by the provider.  This is not a slight against your character, unfortunately there are many men before you who have fucked it up for all the good ones. Mention your allergies (if you have them).  Many ladies burn scented candles, burn incense, wear scented lotion, or have pets.  Some women also smoke.  It is in your best interest to ask these things if you’re affected by any of these types of things.  Providers do not want you to be miserable, sniffling, sneezing, or worse during an appointment.  Many are happy to do extra clean up or air out their apartments if it will help you be comfortable. I have a field on my form asking if you are scent sensitive so I can plan accordingly.  I often burn light incense, or candles/oils.  If you are scent sensitive I will air out my incall for an entire day before our visit and use unscented toiletries the day of.  We really do want you to be happy, you just have to let us know things like this! Clean up your residence or hotel room if having her over for an outcall.  Even if you just stick things in a closet, it’s the thought that counts.  This one works both ways.  You expect a lady to have a clean incall that smells nice without stacks of dishes…we expect the same. DONT: Brush your teeth or floss within 30 minutes of your appointment.  It may tear the lining of your mouth increasing exposure to STIs.  Brush your teeth the morning of the appointment, avoid pungent foods, and use mouthwash or gum. If you do eat pungent foods such as garlic or onions before the appointment please just politely apologise in advance because no amount of mouthwash or gum will cover it up completely.  It’s better to say, “Hey I’m sorry I had some lasagna for lunch and didn’t even think of the garlic” than to surprise a woman with it later. Slather yourself in scent.  My rule is this:  If you want a tongue to touch it then cologne, aftershave, or deodorant should not be on it.  Not only can this taste awful, ingesting certain tolietries could cause stomach aches or worse for the lady. A touch of cologne behind the ears and on the wrists is fine, and deodorant on your underarms is great – but on your chest, testicles, or penis…nope!  I will say this though:  A little cologne in the ass crack itself is fine if you aren’t looking to receive DATO. Barter or say you are short of the donation and expect the appointment to still take place.  If a woman’s rates are non-negotiable, respect that.  If you decide to attempt to haggle despite knowing her donation is firm be prepared to be asked to leave. Some women do have negotiable rates.  This will be mentioned on her site or in an ad – negotiate how and when she wants to.  Some women also run specials or have discounts.  Do not try to ask for these things if they are expired or do not apply to you.For example, I run a military discount (10%).  I had a client who draft dodged (no joke) who tried to get it.  I was actually pretty upset.  Don’t do things like that and expect a lady to be impressed after.  I still completed the appointment and gave the best service I could, but I did deny his request for a repeat appointment.  I couldn’t get past the fact he wanted a military discount after draft dodging. Use her toilet for anything except peeing, no matter what.  Do it in the hotel lobby, do it in a nearby restaurant.  I do not care where you do it as long as it’s not her bathroom. While we’re at it – please do not pee in the shower.  We know when you do this and we have to clean our shower every time you do. It’s fine at home, I’m sure most people do it – but not in someone’s shower that they have to clean after each use.  I don’t want to clean up your pee  On a similar note, don’t shave your body in the shower either for the same reason! Bring food, drink, or flowersUNLESS you’ve cleared it with her first or her website says it’s okay. I know these are typically nice surprises, but they are not always nice for those who cannot have them.  It may make her feel awkward if she needs to turn them down either due to allergies or a special diet (i.e. diabetes, celiac). This includes alcohol – many women do not drink with clients (even if the bottle is sealed) so clear it with her first if her website does not make it clear.On the flip side, many women LOVE these things so do not write off the idea of bringing them just because you can’t surprise her – just ASK! Bring up other escorts or forums.  This tends to turn into a gossip session, rather than casual conversation.  Likewise, if she starts gossiping about other escorts/forums then try to steer the conversation in another direction. Try not to talk negatively about other ladies if possible.  If a lady did something extremely unsafe in your presence (offered you BBFS for example, or you saw drug paraphernalia) or was non-discreet (called a number you said not to) this is the exception.It is FINE to inform providers of such things but gossip = bad. Ask a girl how many clients she has seen that day or if you’re the first client of the day. Even if her answer is what you’re wanting to hear, this isn’t really appropriate conversation material. While most girls are happy to talk about their start in the industry, many are not. Let them bring it up if they want to. Similarly, do not ask personal questions about her real life. She’ll volunteer information she wants to, but do not pry.  There’s a fine line between curiosity/”getting to know you” and being invasive.  You don’t have to tip toe or anything of the sort, just use common sense.This is another one that works both ways, if she starts to pry – simply steer the conversation elsewhere or tell her up front you are not comfortable with the questions. Ask for BBFS or BB Greek.  Even if it’s to “test her reaction”, don’t do it.  You may end up offending her, ruining a great session, and costing yourself a good reference in the future.Not to mention, you may scare her.  If you’re asking her – who else are you asking (likewise, if a lady offers you – who else is she offering?).  Saying it was a “test” is a horrible excuse.  I cannot describe the feeling of ice water through your veins when you hear the words “without a condom” in reference to vaginal or anal sex in this industry.If you ask this in an initial email (or phone call) – even to “test” her – you will ruin any rapport you had and really any chance you had of ever meeting the lady in real life. Anyone who mentions BBFS or BB Greek I may reply to…but only to say that I am saddened and horrified at the request, and that I cannot continue this conversation or meet them. Overstay your welcome.  What you book is what you get.  While most ladies will not be staring at the clock and are lenient, most will also not want to have to ask you to leave.  It is awkward, and can make a lady feel very uncomfortable.  You are in her space, please respect that.  Do not take advantage of a lady’s generosity.  You are buying time, do not try and get something for nothing.  If you want more time, book a longer visit.  I do not stare at the clock personally, nor do I deduct showers from your time (you get one before and after).  I find it very rude to not meet me halfway by being courteous and respecting my time.  I do have plans and a life outside of our visit and while my goal is to make you happy during our visit, it is not at the cost of my other plans. Use a BS excuse to cancel.  If you changed your mind, just tell her.  Treat her the way you want to be treated.  Don’t under explain, don’t over explain. Cancel early, if you decide against the visit.  Do not wait until the absolute last second.  Remember we often turn down other appointments at the same time for you – if you have to cancel and you do it early enough we may be able to make up the lost appointment. If you need to legitimately cancel and reschedule, let her know up front you want to reschedule for X date.  This will show you are serious and makes her more likely to book with you again. If the appointment was an incall and the lady works out of a hotel, dropping her an extra $50 might be nice because she had probably already booked the room.  Personally, when I worked out of hotels I booked through Hotwire when I confirmed an appointment.  If someone canceled after that, I was out money.  Usually between $45-$70 depending on what/where I had booked. Promise things you won’t or can’t deliver whether it’s another appointment, a review, or some kind of present/tip.Even though a review or another appointment sound minor, I get my hopes up for reviews I am promised.  I love feedback and I love to know what I’m doing right/wrong. When you don’t deliver, it does disappoint me.  I understand things come up and life gets busy so if you had the intent and then couldn’t follow through – fine.  I do understand that.  But if you have no intent in the first place, don’t promise. Same goes with another appointment.  I enjoy the vast majority of my time with visitors.  If you promise another appointment “soon” – I will generally be looking forward to hearing from you again.  If I don’t hear from you, sometimes I do grow concerned about you.  Again, things come up and if you can’t it’s fine – but if you have no intent in the first place why bother? You owe a provider nothing aside from the donation – there is no need to try and promise her the world.