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neopuff · 2 months

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ALWAYS ON MY MIND

chapter nine: a load off my mind ships: sasha/milla characters: milla, sasha, ford, oleander word count: 5867 ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53435410/chapters/137330296

[chap 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Whispering Rock was a very interesting place.

The valley was certainly remote - Sasha hadn’t expected to drive through the woods for almost two hours - but he couldn’t deny that it looked lovely. Oleander had done a great job, though he probably wouldn’t say as much to the man. He’d been getting enough praise for the camp already.

Sasha and Milla decided to arrive at the camp three days early in the hopes to familiarize themselves with the area and get used to the great outdoors. It’d been a long time since either of them roughed it, so to speak, and they needed to portray a good example for the children.

She was already there when Sasha arrived - her signature car sitting in the parking lot in all its shiny, red glory. His car was boxy and green and felt very quiet next to hers. He wondered if it would’ve made more sense for them to carpool. Perhaps he would suggest it if they decided to come back.

But before any of that, he needed to find her. Sasha reached out to her mentally and she sent back a relaxed aura and images of water. It wasn’t hard to figure out that she was by the lake. He grabbed the crudely-drawn map that Oleander provided them and started making his way towards Lake Oblongata. The path wasn’t too difficult to follow, which boded well for the campers.

A large building caught his eye as he made his way towards the water, and a quick look at the map told Sasha it was the main lodge. Agent Cruller apparently spent a decent amount of time there, and it would be where they ate all of their meals. It looked well-constructed, at least.

As the lake finally came into view, Sasha spotted his partner sitting along the edge of the beach - boots on the ground next to her so she could dip her feet in the water. He couldn’t say he was surprised by that.

Sasha levitated over and stood just a few feet behind her. “Having fun?”

Milla leaned her head back so she was staring at him upside-down. “The water’s very nice. Maybe we can go swimming before the kids get here!”

He smirked at that, then stared out at the water. It was quite nice. Oleander had really outdone himself. “I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

She gasped dramatically. “You didn’t plan to swim at all?”

“Not particularly.” Sasha took a few steps forward, but not close enough for the water to touch his shoes. “I’m not much of a swimmer. But I’d be happy to sit here and watch while you enjoy.”

Milla chuckled and Sasha’s face immediately burned at the realization of what he’d said. He didn’t even bother correcting himself, simply sent a mental wave of you-know-what-I-meant towards her.

“I haven’t seen Agent Cruller yet,” Milla said, changing the subject. “Aaronson said that he’s even stranger here than back at the Motherlobe.”

“Is that so?” Sasha pulled out a cigarette, deciding he was getting a little too much fresh air. “It’s hard to believe Agent Mentallis’ theory was wrong.”

She shrugged and levitated into the air, shaking the sand and water off her feet before putting her boots back on.

“Did you look at anything else or just come straight to the lake?” Sasha asked, trying not to watch her every movement. She was hypnotizing to him sometimes, he couldn’t help it.

“Nope!” Milla smiled and plopped her feet back onto the ground. “I know there’s a fire pit on the other side of the lodge and the cabins are off in that direction,” she said, pointing to the north, “and I believe Morceau said there’s an off-limits area over that way.”

Sasha tilted his head. “Off-limits? For what purpose?”

“I’m not sure.” She started to walk back towards the main lodge and Sasha followed her. “He probably just meant it’s off-limits for the campers. Maybe something they haven’t finished building yet?”

“Hmm. I think we should check that out, then.”

A few minutes later and they found themselves staring at a very unexpected structure deep in the woods of Whispering Rock. Neither knew quite what to say about it, except that they never could’ve anticipated seeing something of that nature in a camp made for children.

Milla frowned, staring from the entrance. “These are psychoisolation chambers, aren’t they?”

“Looks like it.” Sasha levitated above the structure to get a better look. “I’m sure Morceau isn’t planning on throwing the children in here. That’d be…” He paused, then floated down on top of the highest part of the chambers. “Immoral. Probably.”

“Probably,” Milla repeated, doing nothing to hide her annoyance. “We’ll have to ask him about this when he gets here, won’t we?”

Sasha came back down and they made their way around the rest of the camp. Oleander had a large treehouse office that was, thankfully, very well-constructed, and also very close to the camper’s cabins. There were just three cabins - one for girls, one for boys, and one for the counselors.

“Ah.” Sasha stared at the counselor cabin, realizing something he should’ve realized earlier. “So. It’ll be you and me and…Morry. In this little space. Every night?”

Milla laughed and elbowed him in the arm. “You seem surprised, Sasha! What did you expect? Private rooms?” She floated inside and moved to the bed furthest in the back, wiping off the blanket. “I think I’ll take this one.”

Sasha followed her inside. He hadn’t thought about sleeping arrangements at all. He and Milla had shared hotel rooms in the past, but they usually had more space between them. He found himself both relieved and annoyed that Oleander would be in the room, too. And what about Agent Cruller? It didn’t look like Cruller had been staying there. Perhaps he had his own cabin somewhere else on the campgrounds. Or maybe a tent.

“Darling, you should take the bed across from mine!” Milla said, floating over to that bed and sitting on it. “I’m sure Morceau will want to be closest to the door, anyway.”

“Of course.” Sasha shrugged. He didn’t imagine he’d be sleeping much in such an uncomfortable space. But he needed to prove to Oleander that he was capable of doing this, and he wanted to support Milla by sticking around. There was no room for complaining about little things like sleeping arrangements. “Whichever you think is best.”

After that, they headed to the parking lot to grab their suitcases and bring them back to the cabins. If not for telekinesis, Sasha would’ve been annoyed that they were on complete opposite ends of the camp. He couldn’t imagine being forced to actually carry his luggage the entire way across.

Along the journey back to the cabins, they finally spotted Agent Cruller.

He was using a broom to sweep grass and dirt not far from the main lodge, mumbling under his breath. Sasha and Milla looked at each other, and psychically decided to wait until they were unpacked before they talked to him. They both had a feeling that he’d want to chat for a long time, as older people tended to do.

Agent Cruller was gone by the time they made their way back.

“Maybe he’s in the lodge,” Milla suggested, pointing towards it. “Morceau said he cooks all the camp meals, and it’s almost dinnertime.”

Sasha nodded and they made their way inside, unsurprised to find Agent Cruller standing there behind the counter. He was mumbling about burgers and fries and had on a chef’s hat and apron, which weren’t present when they saw him earlier.

“Agent Cruller,” Sasha said, walking towards him. “It’s good to see you.”

The older man tilted his head at the two of them. “Huh…you look different than before! What’s with the green? Huh?”

Sasha frowned and glanced at Milla, who simply smiled and came closer. “Hello! Do you remember me, Agent Cruller? My name is Milla. Milla Vodello!”

Cruller stared at her, his eyes slowly squinting until there was no way he could see anything at all. He then opened his eyes wide, made a noise of surprise, then looked over at Sasha, and then back to Milla again. “I know you two! You’re psychics! Hungry psychics, I’ll bet! You want some burgers?”

Milla’s smile softened and she tugged some hair behind her ears. “Um, yes, sure! That sounds lovely. Thank you, Agent Cruller.”

“Call me Ford, why don’t you?” the older man said loudly. “You two are much too tall to be talking to me like that!”

Sasha ran a hand through his hair, feeling a frustrated knot forming in his shoulder. That always happened when he talked to Agent Cruller for too long - the man’s mental state reminded him too much of exactly the type of damage a Psychonaut was constantly in danger of. “Of course, Ford. Whatever you’d like.”

Cruller gave them a toothy smile and disappeared to make the food.

“I, um. I don’t think Agent Mentallis had the right idea about the psitanium,” Milla said, clasping her hands in front of her. “But maybe the fresh air is good for him, at least?”

“Hopefully,” Sasha answered.

Milla woke the next morning feeling oddly achy. Her head hurt - not in a way she was used to. It was like a specific part of her brain was irritated. Almost like she’d spent all night listening to loud music, but somehow…different. It was difficult to explain.

When Sasha came out of their shared bathroom and expressed a similar type of headache, she knew she wasn’t crazy, at least.

“I just assumed it’s because I’ve been cooped up indoors for so long,” Sasha joked, though he also meant it genuinely. “But a headache after less than a day outdoors did seem a bit fast.”

She got up and rushed to the bathroom, desperately needing to brush her teeth and do something about her hair. Sometimes Milla remembered the first time she and Sasha shared a bedroom - she’d been so nervous about how she looked that she’d made sure to wake up before him so she could beautify herself. It took barely two days of that before she gave up and let him see her ridiculous bedhead. He never commented either way. “Could it be the psitanium?”

There was a pause before she heard Sasha’s muffled response from the other side of the bathroom door. “That seems likely. I've certainly not been around this much psitanium before.”

Milla stared at her reflection in the mirror, happy she didn't look as bad as her head felt. “Me neither,” she added before starting to brush her teeth.

She could hear Sasha moving around in the other room and reached out with her mind - somehow they’d gotten to the point where even thirty seconds of not knowing what was going on in his head made her curious. If they were in a different kind of relationship, they’d probably be described as clingy or codependent. But as Psychonaut partners, it was totally normal and fine.

“Maybe we can ask Agent Cruller about it,” Sasha said. Then, after a moment, he corrected himself. “Er, Ford. We can ask Ford.”

Milla smiled. He was never very good at being casual, especially not with senior Psychonauts. She sent him a mental agreement, then quickly finished getting ready and dressed and headed out the door. “Ready to go?”

Sasha nodded at her and telekinetically opened the cabin door, allowing her to leave first. Such a gentleman.

They wandered around for a bit, wondering if they’d find Ford outside somewhere. His persona in the main lodge - the one wearing the chef hat - wasn’t the most helpful. There was always a possibility that one of his other personas around the campgrounds would have better information. But they didn’t see the sweeping persona on their walk towards the lodge, so they decided it was time for breakfast.

“Good morning!” Ford shouted as they entered the lodge. He had a bright smile on his face and was chewing on a large piece of bacon. “We got the good stuff today!”

Milla and Sasha glanced at one another before walking closer to him. She smiled gently. “Good morning, Ford! How are you today?”

“Great!” He pulled the bacon out of his mouth and took a big whiff of it, then took another big bite. “I love this bacon! It’s delicious!”

Sasha sighed and stepped forward, much more impatient than Milla. “You’ve been here for a few weeks now, Agent-er, Ford. Did the psitanium have an adverse effect on you when you first arrived? Headaches? Anything like that?”

Ford stared at Sasha and blinked slowly. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he shook his head. “I’ve got no clue what you’re talking about. But I’ve got some fine egg ‘n bacon sandwiches for the two of you when you want ‘em!”

Sasha sighed again, and barely reacted as Milla put a hand on his arm. “That sounds great, Ford, thank you.”

The older man disappeared for a few seconds, then reappeared with the sandwiches. “All wrapped up, just like a fancy restaurant!”

Milla took them and gave one to Sasha, who seemed generally uninterested in the food. He was clearly disappointed in Agent Cruller’s response, but Milla figured it was what they were going to get. Cruller was…exactly who he was. There was no changing that. “Thank you,” she said quietly, smiling at Ford again.

He stood there silently for a few moments, then slammed his hands on the counter and stared at the two of them, completely bug-eyed. “Y’know where all the psitanium is? It’s underground!” Ford said, tilting his head too far to the side to keep his balance for much longer. “You’d be surprised what’s underground in a place like this!”

The two younger Psychonauts glanced at each other again, then gave a polite goodbye to Agent Cruller before taking their leave. It was a unique reaction from him, especially considering the lack of appropriate response they usually got. It seemed that he at least understood their question, though it was hard to say whether or not his answer held any useful information. Were they the ramblings of a madman? Or was he offering them some semblance of insight from the small parts of his brain that were still functioning?

“Underground, huh?” Milla muttered, finishing up her sandwich. It was very good. Seemed like the campers would be eating just fine during their week of training.

“I suppose it’ll be worth it to keep an eye out.” Sasha only ate half of his and folded the wrapper around the rest. “Maybe there’s some sort of…cave by the water.”

She smiled and grabbed his wrapped sandwich half, unwrapping it and shoving it towards him. He never ate enough, in her opinion. She’d swear that if she didn’t remind him to eat, he could go well over a day without anything but coffee and cigarettes. That wouldn’t happen while they were alone together, that was for sure. “Maybe! You should finish this, darling. In case we find a secret underground psitanium cave and need our strength to get out.”

Sasha exhaled through his nose, but relented and continued eating. “So we’re exploring again today?” he mumbled between bites.

“That’s what I’d like to do, at least. I mean…I’ve got all my lessons planned,” she answered happily. It was always nice when he listened to her in regards to his health. Now if only she could get him to stop smoking! “Reorganized my mind so the kids can practice levitation safely. So there’s nothing else to prepare.”

“Ah.”

He nodded and then pouted, an expression that Milla didn’t expect to see. “What’s wrong?”

“I may need to take some time and…move some things around.” He took the last bite of his sandwich and crumpled up the wrapper in his gloved hands. “Maybe we’ll head back to the cabins early.” He paused, then corrected himself. “Er, I’ll head back early. You don’t have to. Also. You can do what you want, of course.”

She smiled brightly at him. He was so cute when he stumbled over his words. “Maybe I’ll go swimming, then.”

Sasha returned her smile with a small one of his own and they got up from the picnic table outside the lodge. It was a beautiful day out and there was plenty of campground for them to check out before he needed to start on his lesson plan.

Their third day on the campgrounds, aka the last day before the campers arrived and the actual camp started, did not get off on the right foot.

Milla and Sasha were loudly woken up by a loud - loud, loud, loud - trumpet playing a slightly off-tune Reveille. It didn’t take a genius to know what that meant: Oleander had arrived.

Of course, he chose to arrive at six-thirty in the morning. And he had to announce his presence as loudly as possible.

Sasha wasn’t ashamed to admit that he didn’t like Morceau. He didn’t get along with the argumentative man, who was always trying to pick a fight with him over everything. He made inappropriate jokes and comments, gave him insulting nicknames for absolutely no reason, and felt the need to heckle Sasha about his personal life and personality on a regular basis. He was genuinely surprised that anyone got along with the short man, though he supposed Milla got along with everyone.

The two of them got up and took turns getting ready for the day, despite Oleander’s attempts to get them up faster. Sasha just knew that the day was not going to improve with such a loud, little man having access to the camp speaker system.

On the plus side, he didn’t have a headache anymore and his lesson plan for the campers was all ready. It also seemed that Milla didn’t have a headache anymore either, since she hadn’t mentioned it.

While eating breakfast with Milla and Morry, it hit Sasha that he was already really missing the alone time with her. Sure, it wasn’t the romantic nonsense that Morceau had joked about, but it was still very nice. He really enjoyed spending time with her where they didn’t have to worry about danger potentially lurking around every corner.

“Did you get a headache on your first night here?” Milla asked Morceau over their egg sandwiches.

“Huh?” Oleander tilted his head. “Aaronson and Whittaker complained about that, too. The four of you just need to get used to the outdoors, is all!”

Sasha disassociated while Morceau continued to talk about how much stronger and more outdoorsy he was than everyone else, and stared down at his egg sandwich. Though Ford’s cooking wasn’t bad, he was beginning to realize that the food options were quite limited. He wasn’t a man who needed a lot of variety in his life, but he couldn’t imagine eating it over and over again for an entire week. Maybe he’d have to grab some fruit before the campers arrived the next day.

“What do you think, Nein?”

Sasha was pulled back into the conversation to find both of them staring at him. He had no idea what they were just talking about and shook his head. “I didn’t catch the question.”

Oleander rolled his eyes. “See what I mean? If any of this week’s kids give us a bad review, I’m blaming it all on you!” he said, pointing a finger in Sasha’s face. “If you’re gonna screw anything up, just try to keep it small, alright?”

“...alright,” Sasha responded, standing up. He wasn’t interested in listening to insults any longer, so he decided it was a good time to look around the camp. By himself. “I’m going for a walk.”

Milla gave him an apologetic smile, almost like she somehow knew he was leaving because he didn’t want to spend too much time with Morceau. She’d heard him complain about the man enough times to come to that conclusion. “Catch up with you later?”

“Of course.” Sasha nodded at her and levitated away, decidedly towards the geodesic psychoisolation chambers in the woods. He’d meant to ask Morry about them, but didn’t have the patience for it. Maybe Milla would remember.

As he came to the structure, he noticed a strange-looking squirrel out of the corner of his eye. Sasha turned to look directly at it, but the squirrel immediately ran off - though, notably, it fell into a large tree stump. After a moment the squirrel climbed back out, looking slightly worse for wear, then it ran off in another direction.

Bored and curious, Sasha walked closer to the tree stump. He’d noticed a few of them around the camp, though they didn’t really catch his attention considering they were in the middle of the woods. When he looked inside the stump, however, it was clear that it wasn’t a normal stump. It was hollow and the hole inside was very deep. One could even say that it led to something…underground.

Sasha raised a single eyebrow at his discovery. He looked up - turned left, then right, then looked back down into the hole. It was certainly big enough for him to fit into. Though now he was wishing he’d used clairvoyance on that squirrel before it got away.

With a shrug, he decided it was worth a shot to look, so Sasha levitated himself down into the stump to see what was inside.

He didn’t expect to land on an awkwardly small rail car. Even more than that, he didn’t expect it to talk to him.

"Welcome to the Whispering Rocket Underground Rapid Transit System. Would you like to go back to your private sanctuary now, Agent Cruller? Or...somewhere else?"

Sasha stared at the device in front of his face. What the hell was he looking at, exactly? Whose voice was that? And…it specifically mentioned Agent Cruller. Did that mean this was something Ford had managed to put together in the short time he’d been living at the camp? It looked like an entire underground tunnel system.

Unsure of what else to say, Sasha cleared his throat. “Uh…to the sanctuary. Please.”

“Yes, noble Psychomaster.”

He glared, unhappy with that nickname, and held the car tight as he was suddenly pulled in a random direction. The rail car seemed to be functioning well, though Sasha was understandably nervous about the construction quality. Did Agent Cruller build this secretly or did Oleander know about it? He had so many questions.

Questions that would be followed up by even more questions, Sasha realized as the car came to a stop. He levitated out through another hollowed-out tree stump and found himself in some sort of underground laboratory - or, sanctuary, he supposed, was the word the rail car had used. The space was still very clearly under construction, but there were floating screens all around, several comfortable-looking chairs, and a pile full of psychic devices that Sasha recognized from Agent Mentallis’ lab.

It was a strange sight to behold.

“...Agent Cruller?” Sasha said, unsure of what was going on.

No one responded. He supposed it was silly to think Ford would just be waiting around when he saw him in the main lodge less than an hour earlier. The man was probably working around the campgrounds somewhere, or maybe he was-

“Sasha!”

He turned around to find Ford Cruller floating up from somewhere below, a large piece of scrap metal in his hands. “Ford. What’s going on?”

“I didn’t expect you down here so soon,” the older man answered, plopping down on the same platform as Sasha. “You get into a fight with Oleander?”

Sasha pouted slightly. “Not a fight. Just annoyed with him.” He paused for a moment, then shook his head. “Wait, no, where are we? Why are you wearing your Psychonauts uniform? Are you-?”

“Oop! I’ll be right back!” Ford interrupted, then quickly dove into the tree stump that Sasha had come out of earlier.

“I…what?” Sasha felt positively bewildered. He needed to find Milla and bring her there immediately, maybe she’d be able to shed some light on the situation. Or at the very least, offer a comforting presence while they absorbed the insanity together. He reached out to her mentally to let her know that he wanted to speak to her alone, then jumped back into the tree stump from earlier. Somehow, the rail car was still there, despite the fact that Ford seemingly exited the same way. Sasha was very, very confused.

It didn’t take much effort to get Morry to walk away from her. Milla let him know that she had some womanly things to take care of, and he immediately bounced away without a single question. He was truly a man’s man, she supposed.

She was very curious about whatever Sasha had found. Milla could feel that he was surprised and confused by something and she hoped it was something exciting, because the past hour of talking to Morceau about his Basic Braining mental boot camp was exhausting. She could not have been less interested in the militarized jungle gym he’d set up for the kids inside his head. It was…certainly different from what she’d planned.

She agreed to meet Sasha near the woods where they’d found the psychoisolation chambers - which she’d almost forgotten to ask Morceau about, but thankfully she had the answer. Agent Mentallis had suggested them as a fun exercise for the kids, then after they were already built, Second Head Forsythe and Grand Head Zanotto rejected the idea completely. But they were already built, and no one wanted to see all that money wasted, so Agent Mentallis promised to come and relocate the chambers whenever he had enough time and found a good space to put them back near the Motherlobe.

It wasn’t a great solution, but the campers would probably be too terrified of the chambers to mess around. Milla knew she could scare them off if she told them exactly what they were used for, but she wouldn’t do that. She never wanted to scare children.

Sasha was waiting for her near the entrance, standing next to one of the large tree stumps she’d noticed around the campgrounds.

“Morry didn’t follow you, did he?”

Milla gave him an incredulous stare. “Of course not, darling. Why would he? Did you find something bad?”

“Not bad, just…secretive. I think.” Sasha tugged at the turtleneck of his sweater. “Follow me,” he said, and then levitated down into the stump.

She leaned over to see that Sasha had completely disappeared into the darkness. That was unexpected. “Um…Sasha?”

“It’s safe,” his voice spoke, echoing slightly. “Just come down.”

Well. She trusted Sasha more than anyone, so there was no reason not to do what he said. Milla floated down slowly and after a few seconds she felt herself land in Sasha’s arms. Another unexpected development. She looked around and saw that he was sitting in a small rail car and they were in a little tunnel.

“What is this?”

Sasha grunted as he tried to adjust the way she was seated - moving her legs around to make sure they weren’t sticking out too far, if she had to guess. “Sorry, just. Give me a second.”

She could’ve helped him, but it was kind of fun to just let him move her around. It wasn’t often that Sasha initiated physical contact with her, after all.

He seemed satisfied with her positioning - she was sitting on his lap and her legs were crossed over one another, laying on top of his left leg. Her shoulder was resting against his chest and she had her hands poised politely in her lap. Sasha glanced at her, a nervous blush on his cheeks, then reached out one hand towards her hair.

After a moment of hesitation, he pulled his hand back. “You, um. You should pull your hair in front of you. Just in case.”

Milla was entertained enough by the situation to do what he said without question.

Once that was done, Sasha cleared his throat and tapped the little screen in front of them. “To the sanctuary, please.”

“Yes, noble Psychomaster.”

Not expecting such a sultry voice - or any voice at all, really - Milla let out a nervous laugh. “Darling, what in the world is going on? Where are we?”

“You’ll see in a few moments,” he said quietly, and then the rail car started to move.

Instinctively, Milla pulled her knees up towards her chest and tucked herself into the tightest ball she could. The car moved faster than she expected and she wasn’t exactly seated very securely. Thankfully, Sasha caught the hint and wrapped one hand around her legs and the other around her back, keeping hold of her.

It was very nice. She’d have to thank whoever built the tunnel system for that little moment she got to have with her partner.

Less than a minute later and it stopped. Sasha didn’t wait even a second before wrapping his hands underneath her and levitating them both out of there. They exited through a similar hollow tree stump, but found themselves in a very high-tech-looking lab. It looked almost nicer than some of the things they had at the Motherlobe.

She levitated out of Sasha’s arms and floated over to the middle of the room. “I have never been more confused.”

“There you are! And good, you brought Agent Vodello.”

The two of them turned to find Ford Cruller walking towards them from a platform on the opposite side of the room. He looked more sober and focused than either had ever seen from him before, and his presence asked just as many questions as it answered.

“Ford…” Milla said gently, floating towards him. “What’s going on?”

“My question exactly,” Sasha added.

The older man shook his head. “Sorry for rushing out on you earlier, Sasha, but I could hear Oleander thinking about getting his hands on a boat, so I felt that inescapable urge to get out there and help him. You understand, I’m sure.”

Milla stared at the man, unblinking. She did not understand at all. “You remember our names?”

“I do,” he answered, taking a deep breath. “Just down here. Surrounded by all this psitanium…it’s enough psychic energy to keep my mind together. For now, at least.”

“I thought this much psitanium exposure was dangerous for psychics.” Sasha walked along the platform, coming to a stop next to Ford. “We’ve seen that in the past, at least.”

“Yes, of course, I remember the whole situation with that Rehm fellow a few years ago,” Cruller responded absentmindedly. “But he was an untrained psychic mind, someone who didn’t even know he was psychic until he was exposed. My mind is…well, it’s not what it used to be. But it’s used to psitanium and it’s used to psychic enhancements.”

Milla wasn’t surprised to hear Lucius’ name brought up - Whispering Rock was, after all, very close to the place where he’d first been exposed to the psitanium that made him lose his mind. His accidental discovery was helpful when Oleander was looking for the right place to build the camp. “But above ground you’re still…not quite yourself.”

“That’s true. I…can’t leave this sanctuary.” Ford sighed and sat in one of the chairs. “My every free moment has been spent working on this underground chamber, trying to make it liveable and giving myself access to all the classified information I can get my hands on.”

Milla noticed Sasha staring at a pile of gadgets sitting across the way. Those probably belonged to Agent Mentallis - she wondered if Ford had stolen them, or somehow convinced his old friend to give them to him.

“This is great news, Agent Cruller,” Sasha said. “Why haven’t you told anyone yet?”

“Hmmmm,” Ford hummed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “To be honest…I don’t think most of them will believe me. I’m just happy you two do!”

“It’s hard not to believe when you’re so much more, um…” Milla started.

“...coherent. Than usual,” Sasha added, finishing her sentence.

“Ha! That’s true.” Agent Cruller stood up and stretched, cracking his back loudly. “Oleander doesn’t know about this, alright? And I don’t want him to. He can’t keep a secret worth his life.” He scratched the top of his head. “I don’t know if the psitanium will keep me sane forever, but…so long as it does, would you two help me out with some projects?”

Milla and Sasha glanced at one another, not even needing telepathy to understand that the answer was of course.

“Excellent,” Ford responded, despite the fact that they hadn’t actually answered out loud. “And since you asked, Sasha - we’re just due north of the main lodge. Directly underneath.”

Sasha hadn’t asked anything like that, which made Milla wonder if Agent Cruller was able to read their minds so effortlessly while in his sanctuary that he didn’t even realize the telepathy was happening. It was a strange concept, though she’d certainly had moments where she couldn’t tell if Sasha was talking to her or thinking at her.

“I know you two have a lot to do, getting ready for the campers to arrive tomorrow,” Ford continued, “but I’d appreciate it if you could visit me down here sometime soon. I have some important things I’d like to discuss.”

“Of course, sir,” Sasha answered.

Milla wondered if he felt as intimidated by Ford’s commanding presence as she did. It was so strange to be talking to the Ford Cruller of legend rather than the Ford Cruller they’d gotten to know in the Motherlobe. All the stories they’d been told about him suddenly made sense, just from such a brief interaction.

“Is there anything we can do for you now?” Milla asked.

Ford shook his head. “No, I…oh. I need to go.” He suddenly rushed towards the hollow tree stump and jumped in, leaving the two active Psychonauts alone.

Milla frowned. “Maybe Morceau needed help with that boat again.”

“Perhaps,” Sasha answered, but he was already back to staring at the pile of gadgets in the corner. “These are definitely from Agent Mentallis’ lab. He was complaining to me about missing equipment just last week.”

“Ah. Well…too bad we can’t tell him where it is.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “This is a strange situation, right? This isn’t something you’ve experienced before?”

“Not at all.” Sasha stood up straight and walked closer to her. “I think I can say with absolute certainty that this is not something any Psychonaut has dealt with before.”

Milla nodded her head and took a deep breath, wondering if the extra psitanium exposure would have an immediate effect or if they’d have to wait longer to feel a difference. She felt a little lighter, maybe a bit stronger, but she also wasn’t sure if she was just imagining it. “Agent Mentallis would probably be very happy to know he was right.”

Sasha sighed and stuck his hands into his pockets. “Yes, yes he would.”

#psychonauts #sasha nein #milla vodello #sashamilla #morceau oleander #ford cruller #lunchtime yoga #science party #carrofics

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lilyblackdrawside · 10 months

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I’ve called Berserk Utsuho (final boss of Ei) the hardest boss of the whole game and I will explain why.

Her body is fairly average. Size L and bad mobility make her pretty easy to hit. There’s pretty much no need to use Strike or Focus to improve accuracy and outside of certain characters that just have no accuracy on their attacks (like Keine), you’ll generally not drop below 90% accuracy.

She does have pretty high armor, which together with her S-rank Sky terrain makes for decent damage reduction.

She has 20% hp and 30% mp regeneration per turn, which isn’t too big of a deal. It looks scary, but doesn’t tend to be relevant. You don’t have the time or freedom to mess around with chip damage.

Her stats and skills are where the issues begin to show.

Her attack stats are as irrelevant as they always are with bosses, since their relevant damage modifiers lie in their attacks’ power and their danmaku effects. Her Skill is pretty middle of the road, most people will have fairly good odds of landing crits (and won’t face high crit in return). Her Evade is decent, but doesn’t amount to much, her Accuracy is high. Defense is middling.

Her skills from top to bottom are Berserk+ L7 (combines Instinct Dodge and Berserk, raises evade/accuracy/crit/defense as hp drops), P-All (combines every P-skill, which makes her just gain more Power from everything), Power-Limit Break+ (Power limit raised to 200), Farsight (accuracy/damage falloff caps at 6 range), Predict L2 (+30 evade/accuracy at 130+ Power) and Shotgunning L1 (shooting attacks deal 110% damage at 1 range).

Her personal skill gives her +50 accuracy and +1 action per turn at 130+ Power.

You can’t meaningfully keep her Power below 130.

Even without her danmaku, it’s very difficult to get reasonably high evade against her, especially at the start of the fight when she’s using an attack with a +50 accuracy modifier. Real types have a really hard time against her and will need to rely on Flash/Alert to force dodges or any kind of Bunshin if they have such a thing. Utsuho has no attacks that can be parried.

Merely approaching her is already challenge in itself.

Her basic danmaku gives a moderately high -35% def/avo and -1 move, so your movement range within it is halved. Her range is exactly as high as her field is large.

She does act very predictably at least:

Won’t move if she can attack

Prefers to not attack the same person twice

Will attack the same person twice if she’d have to move to get more people into range

Will use Mega Flare as her first action if >3 people in range. (>2 on Hard and Lunatic)

You can count on her going for someone she can oneshot as her first target, but her second target isn’t so certain.

So what’s this Mega Flare then?

The green tiles outline its range. She doesn’t fire it on both sides simultaneously, but she can aim it in any cardinal direction. If there are at least 3 units in any of her possible aiming areas, she’ll fire it. If someone is in two of the overlapping parts, they’ll count as being in both.

This goes for the entire fight and can make building a formation fairly difficult and can make the fight much harder if you heavily rely on support attacks and defends, team-up attacks or just field a lot of people. This time around I was very light on active units (I used like 8 deploy on people I put into the boat to just use for their seishin skills) and had three free spaces. You can arrange long-range units in such a way that they won’t be in any of her aiming areas, but watch out.

Her first spellcard has danmaku that comes in two layers. If you’re in one layer, you suffer -5% def, -50% avo, -1 move and your Flash seishin will be ignored. No cheating dodges here.

If you’re in both layers you get a cool -105% def, -60% avo, -3 move and Flash and Grit will be ignored. (Grit causes the next direct hit to deal 10 damage)

Basically, you *will* take the damage.

The danmaku also looks pretty cool.

This one’s fine. Just a warm-up.

The next Spellcard is where the real fight begins.

It’s Giga Flare.

If you thought Mega Flare was funny, check this out:

Yeah, it has infinite range. She also doesn’t care about a minimum target requirement, she’ll just fire where she can do the most damage.

Her danmaku is very scattered here, granting anywhere from -30% def/avo and -0.2 move to -185% def/avo and -2.2 move.

The special danmaku effect is -2 move. You’re not getting outta this one. Also within 4-range of Utsuho it halves your evasion. This is different from -50% avoid. -50% avoid is more like „increase chance to hit by 50 percentage points“, it’s additive, not multiplicative.

The special danmaku effect just gets slapped on at the end to double her accuracy. Or maybe not, I really can’t tell cause she always hits anyway.

At least you can Flash it, is what I’d like to say, but you really shouldn’t linger on this spell.

This is where I should list some of the small mercies you’re granted in this fight.

Utsuho is in the air, but the ground around her is a +10% def/avo terrain that you can and should make use of.

You’re also granted temporary assistance by Kaenbyou Rin and Nue. Rin won’t get attacked by Utsuho (usually), but she’ll still face counters (I think). She has a boosted MP-restorative Seishin and another one that fully heals someone. You get two uses of the full-heal. MP shouldn’t be a priority. Nue is more important. Her combat performance is utterly unusable. She dies in a single hit, can’t dodge and deals mediocre damage. You can use her to activate Support Attacks, but you’ll need to use her Flash seishin for that, which just isn’t worth. Put her in the boat.

Her good part is that she comes with the Disturb Seishin. Disturb caps enemy accuracy at 50%. She can use this twice, and the start of Gigaflare is where I use it for the first time.

The thing with Utsuho is that she has the nastiest chain of Spellcards of all bosses. Usually you can bypass enemy Map-attacks by almost clearing a Spell, letting the boss take a turn and then blowing through the current + their Map spell. Bosses won’t use Map attacks outside of their designated Spellcard. (Exceptions exist).

Utsuho, however decided on this chain of Spellcards:

Giga Flare (Map attack) -> Yatagarasu OverDive (She can move through your units with this. You cannot let her do this) -> Heaven & Hell Meltdown (Map attack) -> Subterranean Sun (Final, will elaborate later).

You can reasonably blow through all the way to Subterranean Sun, but even though it’s „just“ a single-target attack, you don’t want her taking a turn with this active either. You can’t let her move with Yatagarasu OverDive, because it’ll disrupt your formation too much. While she can’t use Mega or Giga Flare after moving, you don’t have the leisure to reassemble your formation.

So your only actual choice is to face Heaven & Hell Meltdown.

This is why I use Disturb and use the Defend Seishin (halves damage taken) on whoever has it at the start of Gigaflare, then clear Gigaflare and Yatagarasu OverDive (this spellcard isn’t terribly noteworthy unless you let her take a turn with it. She gets multiple extra attacks during it too, depending on how low her hp is) and inflict as much damage to Heaven & Hell Meltdown as I can.

It’s reasonable to get her to one hit away from clearing H&HM and have almost all your units ready for.

Subterranean Sun. Okay, not yet. H&HM has some nifty danmaku that deserves mentioning. Its debuffs are fairly mild at -60% def/avo & -4 move in the center and -30% def/avo & -2 move everywhere else, but its extra effects can be quite crippling if you’re not prepared for them. You get an extra -2 move and also -2 range and -1 bomb radius. The -2 range is why you need to be careful about having long-range units sit at max range to be outside of Megaflare tiles. I prefer to sit at minimum range anyway to get more damage in, so it doesn’t affect me much at all.

So, Subterranean Sun:

Heaven & Hell Meltdown brought a music change, Subterranean Sun changes her personal skill.

This further increases the effect of Berserk+, caps her Power limit at 500 and gives her +100 Power at certain hp thresholds. She’ll hit 500 Power after getting attacked 3 times, pretty much.

So what does Power do? For you, it gates the activation of a bunch of passive skills and the use of your stronger moves. Bosses will generally sit well above 130 Power for their passives by the time you get to them and none of their attacks require more than 100 (which is their floor. For now.).

But it’s also a general factor for dealing damage. When you attack, your Power is compared to the target’s in a simple division and creates a damage multiplier.

Previously, Utsuho was sitting at a cap of 200, while you’re at most at 170 (with the regular Power-Limit Break) or 150 (without. But everyone should have it), so you’re constantly dealing 85% damage at most and taking 118% at least.

Now with her at 500 it’s a little funnier: 170 vs 500 results in you dealing 34% damage and Utsuho doing 294%. Combine this with her amped Berserk+ giving her additional damage reduction at lower health and you can find your most powerful units unable to deal damage. I’ve had Marisa with Valor Final Spark barely clearing 4 digits in the past.

You need to hold your units with the Fury Seishin for this, which allows them to bypass special damage reductions and barriers for one attack. (Though at this point I don’t even know what it actually ignores on any given disc. It keeps getting nerfed, but in Ei it’s still very worthwhile.)

You can knock out her massive 42000 final hp bar in three to four good hits with strong Support Attacks if you’ve prepared adequately. If you haven’t, you’ll likely find yourself forced to time it out.

The danmaku on Subterranean Sun isn’t too bad at least. It’s just -50% ~-100% def/avo depending on where you are and cuts bomb radius by 2 (puts it to one - just adjacent tiles).

At least she loses her HP-regen for this final phase.

It’s really less the threat of getting killed at this point and more that you fail to capture the last spellcard that makes this one scary.

All that said, as much as I’m always dreading this stage, I still really like it. It’s set so well, the music is great and the fight is ultimately fun and a great end to disc 3.

#touhou #long post

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radiant-reid · 3 years

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Lipstick

A/n: This is my entry to @boldlyvoid ‘s 2K Writing Challenge (Big congrats !!) with the prompt “Are they fighting again?” “Worse, they’re kissing.” I actually really like writing this, it was pretty much my first time writing with a prompt

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Genre: Angst w fluff ending

WC: 2.3k

CW: Swearing | typical CM violence | kissing

"Damn it, Reid, could you reign in your stupid, god complex for 10 seconds!" Y/n yelled as she shut the door to the interrogation room.

The pressure was getting to everyone. They were 39 hours into the 48 they had to formally charge their suspect. It had been a week of restless nights, and now, their profile had led them to a man they believed to have murdered 9 women.

The unfortunate thing was the profile also concluded he would be extremely organized. Each crime scene was pristine, with no DNA evidence. All the victims appeared to leave the bar on their own accord, meaning they couldn't charge him off of that.

So, they were in between a rock and a hard place. Left with no other choice but to try and get a confession out of him.

It was a seemingly impossible task, breaking an organized narcissist who thought he'd gotten away with murder.

And Spencer Reid wasn't making it any easier for Y/n. They didn't have the same close relationship Y/n or Spencer had with the other team members. It wasn't hatred, but they weren't friendly.

Usually, they were able to keep it civil for everyone else's sake. Snarky comments, Spencer fact-checking anything wrong that came out of Y/n's mouth, and Y/n's sarcastic remarks that flew over Spencer's head.

The rest of the team was actually surprised they didn't see it. For two intelligent people, they should have seen they'd make a powerful couple.

Maybe that was why Hotch sent them to interrogate the unsub together.

He quickly realized that was a bad idea when they had only been in there 10 minutes, and Reid was already undermining Y/n. Not in accordance with the tough persona that Hotch had told her to keep.

The team had agreed the best strategy was to send in a dominant female and submissive male team to aggravate the unsub into telling them something.

"Both of you, out here now." Hotch sternly told them. They could tell by his eerily calm tone that he was furious.

Guiltily, Y/n and Spencer followed him. He marched all the way across the small town precinct to the room they had all the case information in.

Hotch nodded at the seats around the round table, gesturing for Spencer and Y/n to take a seat. "We have 8 and a half hours to get a confession out of that man, who we believe murdered 9 women. The two of you can't be acting like children!" He exclaimed angrily. Getting told off by the unit chief was worse than getting told off by a school principal. Y/n wasn't afraid of many people, but Hotch was at the top of the list. "We are a team, and there is no room for the two of you to have childish arguments. We've all put up with the bickering for long enough, but now there's a chance it will ruin this case."

Y/n wanted to tell him it was Spencer's fault. The interrogation was going well until he ruined the power she had established over the unsub. But she didn't. She just glared at Spencer, hoping he'd spontaneously combust.

"It's imperative that we all do our jobs properly." Hotch drilled into them. "Normally, I would take the two of you off the case. But we have a limited amount of time to get a confession." He sounded as if he were weighing his options, getting ready to dish out punishment.

If Y/n and Spencer didn't know he was a whole different man at home, they would have felt terrible for Jack.

"So, you are both going to stay in here together and get a headstart on our paperwork and hope the rest of the team can get a confession because if we're not able to, you'll be facing more disciplinary action." Hotch sternly informed them before swiftly leaving.

Y/n let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding in when Hotch closed the door.

"Do you really hate me so much you want to get me fired?" Y/n asked Spencer, still glaring at him.

Spencer surprisingly shook his head. "No." He simply replied.

Y/n could feel the anger coursing through her veins. "So what the fuck is your issue with me then?" She flippantly demanded.

"I don't have an issue with you." Spencer quietly replied, walking across the room to pick up some files to get started on.

Y/n let out an intentional loud sigh, going to find some files of her own to start. She couldn't concentrate when she felt Spencer's eyes on her from across the table.

"What, Reid?" She asked as she looked up at him.

She couldn't read how he was feeling, but it wasn't angry.

"I'm sorry," Spencer stated, his eyes softening.

Y/n almost couldn't believe it. Somehow he'd said the only thing she didn't expect him to say. Something, now that she was thinking about it, she hadn't ever heard him say.

She wasn't sure what to say. "Uh, thanks, I'm sorry too." Maybe one of those things was right to say. She tried to let it go, nestling back into her paperwork. "Can I just ask why?"

Spencer lifted his head up again, meeting her eyes. "Why what?"

Y/n rolled her eyes at him. "Don't make me insult your intelligence by pointing out the obvious, Reid." She answered half-jokingly.

"Why I weakened your position in there?" Spencer rhetorically asked. "I don't know. I knew what the plan was." He told her as if he were trying to figure it out in his own head. "I just felt like he wanted to hurt you, and I don't know... I guess, uh, I kind of felt..." He paused for a second, a blush heating his cheeks. "Possessive." He let the word slip quietly out of his mouth.

Y/n's eyes widened, her mouth gaping open as she realized what was going on. "You, Spencer Reid, have a crush on me." She declared, slowly but determinedly.

Spencer rolled his eyes, groaning as he leaned his head back, blushing bright red. "Do not." He insisted.

Y/n couldn't drop it in. She got up and walked over to Spencer, sitting on the desk next to his paperwork. "Yeah, you do, Reid." She bent forwards to take his face in her hands. "Look at the blush on your cheeks." She remarked, feeling proud of herself.

Spencer tried to wiggle his face out of her grasp. "Can you just drop it?" He quietly requested.

Y/n adamantly shook her head. "Absolutely not, pretty boy. You know, you're like the little boy in the playground who pulls the pigtails of the girl he likes." She continued a self-satisfying smirk on her face. She felt like she had won the lottery. Not many people got to defeat Spencer Reid.

He stood up, clearly wanting to feel superior to her by having a height advantage. Y/n did the same thing, not that it made her taller than him by any means.

"Drop it, Y/l/n." Spencer firmly stated with false confidence

Y/n was quick to call his bluff, not missing a beat. "Make me, Reid."

They were so close she could almost taste him. His cologne completely overwhelming her senses. It was all Spencer, a mix of old books, mahogany, expresso, and butterscotch.

The minute her eyes were locked on his, he knew he was ruined. There was no way, with those dangerously flirtatious eyes looking up into his, that he would be the same.

So, he made her drop it. Two hands anchored on her face, leaning in with so much force it pushed her head back. As soon as Y/n felt his lips on hers, she kissed him back, hands going up to hold his arms. And she kissed him with everything she had, all the passion from those stupid arguments.

Spencer pulled back eventually, smirking down at her. "I made you." He proudly boasted, moving his hands down to her waist.

"Make me again." Y/n requested quietly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Spencer didn't have a problem with that statement, quickly placing his lips back on hers.

Both of them were so caught up in it that they didn't notice Morgan opening the door to look for them, peering in enough to catch them kissing before shutting the door, ending up back in the hallway.

"Wow." He let out, completely shocked by what he'd seen. It was definitely not what he expected when Hotch told him to go and find a file.

Emily, in the hallway, let out a groan. “Are they fighting again?” She asked Morgan with a frown on her face.

“Worse, they’re kissing,” Morgan replied, still stunned. He was even surprised he was able to form sentences.

"They're what?" Emily immediately asked, her attention far more drawn to the door.

"Kissing," Morgan answered, opening the door widely so Emily could inspect. He knew the only way she would ever believe it was if she saw it for herself. There was no way he would have believed it.

She had no problem walking in and clearing her throat, making her presence known. Y/n and Spencer pulled away from each other, looking guiltier than they had earlier. Morgan followed her in, a smirk on his face.

"We leave you two alone for 15 minutes, and this is what happens?" Emily jokingly asked. Spencer just shrugged while Y/n's face heated up. Both of them felt like they were being interrogated.

Morgan couldn't stop sniggering. "You've got game, Reid. I got to hand it to you." He playfully shot Spencer, his eyes shifting between them.

"You're lucky it wasn't Hotch that came in here," Emily remarked, laughing at the mental image.

Spencer shrugged again. "Doesn't matter if you tell him. He won't believe you." Somehow, kissing a girl he liked had made him 100% more confident.

"Oh, he'll know." Emily disagreed with a giggle. Spencer's frown prompted her to continue. She gestured to Y/n. "Her lipstick is all over your lips."

Y/n nervously stared at the wall behind Emily and Morgan, trying to make them disappear. Spencer rolled his eyes at him, wiping the back of his hands over his lips. It still didn't reduce his slightly swollen lips.

"Oh." Spencer let out in realization. "Oh. That makes sense. It's actually genius, not as genius as me but genius nonetheless." He continued.

Everyone looked at him with frowns, no one understanding what Spencer was rambling about.

"The unsub." Spencer attempted to explain. Still, no one got it. "Y/n, what do you keep in your handbag?" He asked, turning to look at her.

Y/n looked at him with a weird look, but he didn't further explain. "Uh, my wallet, phone, keys, hair ties, mints." She started listing. "A pen, maybe a snack, lipstick."

"Lipstick!" Spencer declared, cutting her off and turning to look at Emily. "What about you?" He asked.

Emily caught on to what he was asking. "Yeah, probably lipstick as well, but what does that have to do with anything?" She asked in reply.

"Okay, stick with me. What did all the victim's bodies have with them?" Spencer asked, almost jumping up and down with how excited he was for unintentionally figuring it out.

"Their handbags, go on, Reid." Morgan prompted, understanding he might have cracked the case.

Spencer nodded quickly. "Exactly, they all had their handbags, and I saw the contents." He continued. "Not a single one had lipstick."

Emily frowned at him again. "How do you know they didn't just not have lipstick?" She questioned.

"You both told me," Spencer mentioned, looking between the girls. "If you wear lipstick, then you keep one in your bag. More than half of them had lipstick residue on, but they didn't have it with them." He explained.

Y/n nodded as she caught on to what he was saying. "So, the unsub took them." She figured.

Spencer nodded back at her. "Exactly, it was his trophy! No one would suspect it because they would just look like his wife's." He continued to explain his theory.

“We could easily put him away on that.” Morgan figured. “Let’s go tell Hotch, then we’ll search the wife’s things.” He established, turning back around to walk out the door.

“Wait,” Y/n announced. “We’ll be there in a second.” She decided quietly, avoiding looking into her colleagues' eyes.

Morgan shook his head, chuckling as he walked out of the room. Emily was quick to follow him, leaving the pair alone.

Y/n didn’t waste a second tugging on Spencer’s tie and pressing her lips to his, roughly kissing him. Spencer indulged her in the kiss, despite the smirk on his face.

He cupped her face as he pulled back. “That’s an odd thing to want to make out over.” He teased, unable to stop smirking at her. It was the first time he felt he had the upper hand.

Y/n groaned at him, blushing as she rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She requested. Spencer chuckled at her, and she glared at him.

“Tell me if I’m wrong, but you’re attracted to my intellect.” Spencer correctly tried to profile.

Despite his smirking, Y/n felt the need to continue boosting his ego. “And everything else about you.” Spencer’s face changed to a genuine smile, and she knew it was time to make him squirm. “Now, let’s go out there and put this guy away for murder so we can do more than kiss.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, slowly grinning at her. “Who knew you could talk about a murderer so seductively?” He flirted back.

Y/n rolled her eyes at him, pushing him towards the door. “Let’s go.” She instructed, purposefully not warning him that her lipstick was all over his lips. Hotch was going to find out anyway, so now that Spencer had cracked the case, she figured it was a good time.

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mionemymind · 3 years

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Chapter 3: The Harsh Treatment

Fake Memories

Series Summary: After Y/n is caught cheating on Wanda with Carol, Y/n would do just about anything to get Wanda back into her life. But was it even Y/n’s fault that she cheated? Or was it the new enemy set on revenge?

Chapter Summary: What will happen to Y/n as the team pushes her past her limits?

A/n: I lied, I decided to be nice and post it now. Honestly, the amount of support that I’m receiving from this fanfic has literally made me smile so much. I really love all of you who read and/or comment. You mean the world to me. Let me know what you think. :) (Not my GIF)

Warnings: Starvation, harmful thoughts, curse words, self-doubt, mentions of blood, injuries, angst

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist

Y/n abruptly woke up at the feeling of pressurized gas coursing through her body. She quickly sat up, unable to see anything in the white fog. The cold feeling only lasted a couple seconds before F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Fire has been contained.” Y/n hugged herself for warmth as she waited for the fog to disappear. This was the 13th time this month that she was woken up with pressurized gas. At first, it was foam but someone in maintenance had changed the system after the 5th time she woke up.

Y/n looked at her surroundings and sighed at the damages to her sheets. There were burn marks along with small amounts of frostbite from the gas. “At this rate, I won’t have money for food.” With a grim face, Y/n got up from her bed and proceeded with taking everything off her bed, a routine she unfortunately started to learn.

Y/n didn’t know when things got worse. If she had to guess, maybe it was after the whole fiasco with Wanda. The team had been on edge ever since then. “They probably thought I hurt her,” Y/n thought at the time, but it was far from the truth. She had wanted to explain herself to the team but dismissed those thoughts with, “What’s the point in trying? I’ll always be guilty to them.”

As for Wanda, the still heartbroken girl didn’t dare to speak to the team about that night. Even she didn’t quite know what happened. Since that night, she only lied to herself stating that maybe Y/n had done something. It would probably remove the guilt she had when she thought of the blood running down Y/n’s face. But even the lie couldn’t repress the truth from her thoughts.

After she collected her bedding, she threw it away in the trash can along with the other damaged beddings. Y/n grabbed her wallet off her night stand and opened it. She couldn’t feel it, but her heart dropped at the sight of the lack of money she had. Only a $20 dollar bill as well as a couple ones were left. She closed her eyes and tried her best to keep herself calm, to try and act like the world wasn’t closing in on her. It was a couple minutes later when she opened her eyes and looked at her wallet again. “This was supposed to last me for the rest of the month.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, feeling the overwhelming stress from her lack of funds.

One might ask, “Aren’t you an Avenger? Shouldn’t you make a shit ton of money.” And at one point, Y/n would say yes, she did. But it all came back to that night. A week after, she had overheard a conversation that went…

“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this to her.” Y/n was about to go around the corner, but decided to wait at the sound of Steve’s voice. “It’s simple Rodgers - unless I have to remind you why we needed to redo the glass in the conference room.” Steve sighed at Tony’s simple minded actions. Y/n could practically feel him crossing his arms in a disapproving manner.

“Well she did work fair and hard for her money Tony - this just feels wrong.” Y/n heard a couple clicks before Tony replied with, “This is for Wanda. Anything to get Y/n out of here by her own means is worth it. If you have a problem with this, you must not care as much for Wanda as I thought.” Steve sighed again seeing as he was morally put in an awkward position. It was either care for Y/n or care for Wanda. “That’s what I thought.” Tony left with a smug look on his face as he clicked more on the screen in front of him.

It didn’t take long for Y/n to see the effects of Tony’s decision. Her pay day was the following day and the overwhelming sense of panic and anxiety rose up within her as she only had $400 to survive until the next pay day, which was a month later. Since then, her food portions have been small to say the least. Y/n learned that she only had enough money for the month to eat at least once a day and even that was cutting it. The dramatic changes to her diet had slowly affected her powers but it recently had an exponential increase.

This was her fourth month of hardly eating when her powers started to flare at night. It has gotten to the point that Y/n couldn’t control them in her sleep leading to F.R.I.D.A.Y having to deal with her fireside. But her powers weren’t the only thing that has changed. If anyone were to actually look, they would see that Y/n had gotten skinnier. Her literal glow was getting duller and duller the more time passed.

However, Y/n refused to feel sorry for herself. The sentence “I deserve this” was burned into her head. The brain tricks she puts herself through even allowed her to convince that Tony's decision was right. That Wanda didn’t need to tell the truth to the team. That Steve didn’t need to defend her. And that the team certainly was allowed to make her feel like nothing. Because to Y/n, if she didn’t deserve this, then why would you possibly treat a person like this? Just why?

Of course, Wanda didn’t notice these changes at all. The girl was trying her best to avoid Y/n as much as possible. She always had exit strategies in place in case she were to be in the same vicinity as Y/n. However, Wanda also didn’t notice that lack of Y/n’s presence. Much to her dismay, Y/n’s efforts were the reason they didn’t see each other much.

What Wanda did notice though was the slow and gradual decline of snacks in her cubby. It left her to question whether Natasha was done doing these small favors for her. But her reports were still getting done.

The red head didn’t have much room to think though as she got slammed down on the mat from the other red head. “Take a ten - you’re distracted and we can’t keep going like this.” Wanda grumbled at another failed attempt to flip Natasha over. Hand to hand combat was one of the few subjects that Wanda hated the most. With the help of Natasha, Wanda got up and walked over to the waters on the other side of the room. She was gulping down the remaining when Natasha’s words caught her off guard. “What happened?”

Wanda cocked an eyebrow while still drinking her bottle, needing more elaboration. Natasha faced Wanda while hundreds of thoughts racked her mind. Luckily for her, Wanda had trained her on how to make them quiet enough that Wanda wouldn’t be able to hear. When Natasha found the right words, she said, “I am not doubting you. I am doubting her…” Wanda closed the bottle and looked around the room to avoid Natasha’s eyes. This had been the first time that anyone from the team had remotely even asked her about that night. To be frank, she hadn’t expected Natasha to be the one to break the ice. Usually it was Steve that would act like the team’s counselor. Guess things change.

Wanda sighed and recollected her memory for the night that continued to haunt her. “One minute, I left to get a drink from the bar. - she said that she needed to go to the bathroom. The next minute, I come back to see her all over blondie.” Wanda’s grip on the bottle tightened at the words she was going to say next. “I thought it was a mistake - that she could have been too drunk that night - b-but her thoughts were so - loud.” Wanda slammed her fist at the table in front of her, tears already falling down her cheeks. “A-a-and I saw everything-”

The broken hearted girl didn’t have much energy left in her to continue. She dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Natasha kneeled beside Wanda. She pulled the poor girl into her arms, trying her best to physically comfort her. But nothing could really make Wanda feel better. What could you say to a girl that saw every moment where her girlfriend has cheated on her? Nothing - you say nothing.

“It’s quite pathetic actually,” Tony said as he spun the rod, causing his player to score in foosball. He was currently versing Steve as the two decided to quietly speak about Y/n’s actions for the past couple weeks. Going on the defense again, Steve shot back but Tony was quick to block. “She’s probably just trying to get her money back.” Steve huffed from the sudden slap shot as well as Tony’s rude words.

For the past couple weeks, Y/n had gone from trying to win Wanda back to trying to win the whole team back. The first thing they noticed was all the completed mission reports and the continuation of it. Clint was the first to jokingly comment, “Bruce must really love mission reports.” But the genius bore a confused look before replying with, “It wasn’t me. Even I haven’t had anything to do in my stack for a couple days.” Bruce had a displeasured look on his face. Clint just assumed it was either he wanted to do his stack of reports or the comment was actually true...or maybe both.

When it was time for the meeting, Clint had asked everyone in the room, minus Y/n, on who was completing the mission reports for everyone. “Well, I’m doing Wanda’s and mine,” Natasha claimed as she sat in her usual spot. No one was able to detect her lie, but then again, Natasha was always good at lying.

Clint was quick to figure out that the only person remaining must have been the person responsible. With a straight forward voice, he explained to the team that Y/n had been completing everyones, besides Wanda’s and Natasha’s, reports. Still, Natasha sat there, copying the confused looks on everyone’s faces. She didn’t care to tell them the truth, it wasn’t worth it. However, the meeting proceeded with little comment on Y/n’s actions. She wasn’t worth the mention.

“What if she actually is trying to say sorry to us?” Steve couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for Y/n, but Tony’s words made the guilt go all away. “Oh - so miss Hydra over here actually wants to apologize - hilarious Steve.” With that, Tony quickly spun the rod and scored the final point, making him win the game. What the two failed to realize was the fact that Y/n had overheard their conversation. She no longer felt hungry for the day and had retreated back to her room, feeling overwhelmingly numb from the confession she heard.

It was a new and different day for Wanda. She had managed to want to try and sit in the common room with her team seeing as sitting in her room no longer gave her the same satisfaction anymore. Scrolling through the tv, she was about to pull up Bewitched when the following words appeared on the screen:

Bewitched is longer provided on Netflix. Please see related tv shows.

“What do you mean it’s no longer available?” Wanda frustratedly questioned. And here she was trying to have a good day. “Sorry kid, I guess Netflix took it off their streaming service,” Clint said as he leaned over the couch. “No why would they do that?!” Wanda said with an exasperated look. Clint simply shrugged, Netflix did have an awful reputation for getting favorites removed or canceled. “No clue, but you could try other shows.” Wanda crossed her arms and huffed at his suggestion. “I was really feeling Bewitched today.” Ruffling her hair, Clint left after saying, “Try to feel for something else.”

However, Wanda had failed to feel anything but angry for the remaining of the day. It wasn’t until she sat in her room for the night, aimlessly finding shows in her room when she noticed Bewitched on her home screen. She quickly clicked on it noticing that all eight seasons are there for her own viewing. Her mood immensely increased for the night as she fell asleep in the middle of season two.

Outside of her room, Y/n had been cleaning up the compound for the night. It was getting harder and harder to clean the kitchen when everything in her wanted to just take a couple of snacks for herself. Her hunger was constantly on her mind as well as the stupid flashes that have sporadically appeared more and more everyday. But she wanted more than anything to prove to the team that she is a good person. Stealing, no matter how minor, was probably the last thing she needed to be labeled as.

When she completed for the night, she returned to her room but paused outside of her door when she heard the Bewitched theme song loudly play in Wanda’s room. A small smile appeared on her face as she walked back into her room and slept on the floor tonight.

“Did it ever occur to you that I love you - like a lot?” The couple were laying in Carol’s room decorated with punk rock posters and pictures of their team. Small plants were placed around the room while Malcolm in the Middle was used as background noise.

“Nah. I haven’t heard you say it in approximately - 10 minutes?” Carol laughed as Y/n glanced at her watch. They laid on their sides as they faced each other, their faces being only inches away. “Well I do.” Carol cupped Y/n’s cheek as she soon grew mesmerized.

There are words to always describe feelings with someone but they all felt overused or incomplete. Because everything felt like this daydream colored borders with warm tones and retro filters as she glanced at Y/n. She felt like she was watching a show that she would never get tired of. Even if the show was in color or black and white, new or old, slow or fast, she would watch just to see her. Just her.

“You do what?” Carol flicked Y/n’s forehead at her response. “Kidding - kidding.” Y/n said as she rubbed her forehead. Carol rolled her eyes and kissed Y/n’s head as she cuddled into her arms, legs tangled within the sheets. “I do love you.” Y/n kissed her hair as she combed it with her hand. “I know,” she whispered, hoping Carol would pick up on the secret reference. Because to Y/n, yeah, she’s worth a whole galaxy.

It was the middle of the night when Steve woke up from a nightmare that shook him from his slumber. Rather than staying in bed to force himself to sleep, he got up and headed to the kitchen for a late night snack.

Heading into the pantry, Steve pursed his lips noticing that Y/n’s cubby had been empty for weeks it seems like. The guilt that was slowly forming inside him kept building and building. Although he knew he could try to do something about it, the loyalty he had to his family - to Wanda. That was something he didn’t want to break.

The relationship with Wanda and Steve was something similar to a father and daughter relationship. Steve had always wanted a kid of his own and Wanda had lost her father. The irony of it all just happened to work for the two. Even though Wanda nor Steve would admit it out loud, they viewed each other as the roles that needed to be filled in their lives. They needed each other regardless of titles.

But then there was Y/n. The troubled girl that made Steve absolutely nervous with how quick her and Wanda seemed to like each other. It absolutely didn’t help Steve’s case when the whole team found out about Y/n’s past. His anxiety had practically skyrocketed. It eventually led to a one on one talk with Wanda about how sometimes we need to protect ourselves before letting people in.

But Y/n was still there. Breaking down Wanda’s walls. So just like any Dad would, Steve watched over. Making sure his girl was always happy and safe. So while Natasha may have refilled Wanda’ cubby and did her reports, Steve had carried Wanda to bed during nights she couldn’t sleep. He made her tea for times that she didn’t want to talk, which was often. He tucked her in at night and cuddled with her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was just there.

But so was she. She was there whenever Wanda cried at night. She was there when Wanda would sometimes forget to eat after busying herself all day. She was there to take care of Wanda. She was there when Steve wasn’t. And that meant everything to Steve. So why couldn’t Steve be there for Y/n?

There were a lot of unanswered questions roaming around Steve’s head. Rather than pondering more about them, he walked around the tower, eating a pack of cookies for himself. Just as he was turning the corner, he glanced towards the conference room to see Wanda asleep in front of her reports. However, the more alarming part was the girl that happened to be right in front of Wanda. Steve quickly grew on high alert and observed Y/n’s actions. However, after a couple minutes of harmless actions, Steve forced his shoulders to relax. “She’s just doing reports - calm down,” Steve thought.

But he couldn’t calm down. The guilt had maneuvered it’s way back up to his throat as he actually noticed the pale state of the once bright girl. For someone that had literal fire abilities, she lacked the glow of any raging fire. Feeling nothing but guilt all over, Steve felt compelled to say something - anything. But he froze. He didn’t know what to say.

However, the opportunity soon was lost as Y/n finished everyone’s stack of reports. Steve hid around the corner as Y/n passed him. Hearing a door close was when Steve stepped out of hiding. He glanced towards the direction of Y/n’s room, feeling every need to go to her. But his footsteps led him to Wanda. He picked her up and carried her to her room. Wanda will always be first in Steve’s heart. And nothing could change that.

“We have to stop this treatment Tony.” Steve waltzed into Tony’s lab the very next day. For once, he couldn’t sleep for the remainder of the night. Y/n was all over his mind. The guilt was practically eating him alive.

Tony rolled his eyes at Steve’s dramatic fashion for entrances. “Oh - good morning Tony - how are you - I’m actually pretty good.” Steve rolled his eyes as he stood in front of Tony, a hologram in between the two.

“Cut the crap Tony - I’m being serious.” Steve crossed his arms. This needed to end. “And you think I’m not Rodgers?” Tony was quick to respond, already growing irritated by the conversation.

“This isn’t right - none of this right.” Steve wiped the hologram to finally get a clear view of Tony as he grew frustrated by the second. Tony simply swiped it back, not wanting to deal with the issue. “Well maybe if she just quit - we wouldn’t need to worry about anything. It’s not my fault Fury hired Ms. Hydra - and if he finds out I fired her, he would not allow it at all.”

“But can’t you see that your stupid plan isn’t working? All we’re doing is abusing the girl.” Steve wiped the hologram again but Tony simply walked to a different station and continued his work. Angry with his response, Steve walked around the table and stood beside Tony.

“This needs to end Tony,” Steve said through his gritted teeth. The man was clenching his jaw so hard, it almost looked as if he was going to break his teeth. However, Tony quickly glared at Steve at the mention of his threat.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Can’t you actually see that I’m trying to protect Wanda.” Steve tilted his head at the awful reasoning for his actions. “How is this protecting Wanda? Why are you even trying to protect her?”

Tony slammed his fist into the table, feeling his anger rising by the second. “We - no - I need to protect her Steve!”

“Why Tony? Why?”

“Because I’m the goddamn reason her parents and her country is dead. I’m the reason that everything she ever loved is gone. I’m the reason for her sadness. She, of all people, deserves happiness. And I sure as hell won’t let anyone else hurt her anymore - no more Steve.” Tony didn’t give Steve a chance as he walked out the facility needing a day drink more than ever.

It was lunch time and all Wanda could think about was the need to cook paprikash. She didn’t know when the last time she had actually cooked. And seeing as the majority of the team was on missions, she could actually cook without interruptions or lingering eyes.

Walking into the kitchen, Wanda tied her hair up and started to take out the necessary ingredients for the meal. It was when she was talking the spices out when Vision had appeared out of nowhere, nearly scaring the girl. “Vision!”

Sensing a slight rise in her heart rate and anger, Vision had quickly apologized. “Sorry Wanda.” Wanda shook her head and quickly resumed prepping. “I will try to work on making my presence known. If I may ask, what is it that you’re doing?”

“I’m making paprikash.” Vision’s mind grew curious at the word and quickly searched his database for it. “I see. A traditional Sokovian food.” Wanda didn’t realize it, but she had felt a little annoyed at the synthezoid’s presence. It wasn’t anything he did, but Wanda desperately wanted alone time for herself.

Before she could ask, Vision had said, “Good morning Y/n.” Wanda’s quickly grew wide as she avoided glancing in Y/n’s direction. She hadn’t stayed in the tense position though as Vision announced, “Oh - it seems she had left before saying hi back.”

Feeling ever more frustrated with people’s presence, Wanda was about to ask him to leave but noticed the confusion written all over his face and didn’t hesitate to ask, “What is it Vision?” Vision pursed his lips and contemplated his words. It was visibly obvious to see that he was trying to wrack up what to say. “I think...it’s just…” He sighed knowing that this was going to be a sensitive subject to the witch but knowing everything she's been through, lying was not the best option. “It’s just that Y/n-” Wanda quickly cut Vision off in desperation to know what Y/n had done to Vision. If the girl were to even lay a finger on him, she was sure to deal with it herself. “What did she do? Did she hurt you? I swear-” Seeing her eyes turn red, Vision immediately explained himself. “-No no no. It’s not that, the complete opposite actually.” Wanda’s eyes slowly turned back to normal. When Vision saw that her heart rate was close to normal, he continued. “It’s just that...Y/n’s vitals have been decreasing in a fluctuating matter. Some days it would be a small decrease, but some days it would be a big decrease. Overall, her health has been poor.” Vision looked back at where Y/n once stood. If he hadn’t quickly analyzed her, he wouldn’t have noticed that today’s vitals was record worst. “Although she does have physical injuries, she seems to continue to radiate pain throughout her body even when those injuries have healed. It starts through her head and it spreads like a radio wave through her nervous system. I’ve done my calculations and the leading cause could be migraines...” Vision soon was in deep thought, trying to recalculate just to make sure what he was about to say was correct. “...but it doesn’t make sense.”

Wanda tilted her head. Processing this information was hard seeing as at her darkest moments, she wanted nothing but Y/n to be hurt. She deserved it for all the pain she caused her to go through. But hearing it now? That was a different story. It was like an internal conflict was going through her. Should she even care about Y/n’s health? “What doesn’t make sense?” Vision looked hard into Wanda’s eyes as he said, “Migraines shouldn’t cause her heart to stop multiple times.”

Wanda stared at Vision, processing the information that the love of her life is practically dying. “A-are you sure?” Vision slowly nodded. “However, after some calculations, I do believe she will be okay. She only needs a good source of food for her healing regeneration to fully heal this.” Wanda relaxed at Vision’s words. Although she has been through immense pain through these past couple months, having Y/n gone from her life like that would hurt more than anything.

Before Vision could continue his explanation, F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Emergency alert. All available Avengers please head to the quinjet per the request of Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers.” Quickly, the two headed to the plane as the important part of Vision’s explanation was missed. Little did Wanda know, Y/n would not heal any time soon.

The trio arrived on the quinjet and wasted no time trying to figure out the mission that was ahead of them. There was a serious feel in the atmosphere sensing that this had to be bad. There was no way that it couldn’t have been. Because if it wasn’t, they certainly wouldn’t have invited Y/n to this mission.

Lately, the girl has been assigned to only solo missions. Y/n couldn’t quite remember the last time that she was on a mission with any team member nevermind the fact with the whole team.

“Backup is needed immediately after touch down. Vision and Wanda, meet up with Steve and Sam at the Northeast corridor. Y/n, you are assigned to the entrance,” Tony stated through the intercom.

The feeling in Y/n’s stomach worsened. Not only was she hungry and sleep deprived, she didn’t also have a partner with her. It also didn’t help the fact that the flashes have gotten worse. Y/n couldn’t help but pray for a miracle. After all, they were dealing with the very people Y/n hated - Hydra.

Y/n couldn’t quite tell when things on the mission got to shit. Maybe it was the fact that as soon as they touched down and went to their assigned positions, Y/n received a massive swarm of Hydra agents. It didn’t help that her health regeneration was not at its peak or these agents actually were decently trained. Or was it during the third wave, that was currently happening, where Y/n tested the limits of her body.

Seeing the onslaught of agents coming her way, Y/n decided it was time to test out her new ability. She rapidly swung her right arm, building momentum as the fire within her right side blazed. As soon as the enemies were close, she released a fire tornado in their path. It had managed to take out at least half of the wave, but more and more kept coming.

Pressing her comms, Y/n said, “Can someone send back up my way?! There’s too many for me to handle.” Y/n kicked back the agent that was about to stab her in the back, but was too distracted to the point a different agent was able to cut her leg. “Fuck.”

Y/n quickly released an ice wall that at first glance, appeared to be the same height as the Great Wall of China. She hoped the barrier would give her enough time for her backup to appear. Focusing all her energy on her fireside, Y/n aimed at any agent near her, using her arm as a flamethrower.

However, worry immediately grew when no one had responded to her call within a couple minutes. Before she could request again, Nat had spoken bitterly in the comms, “On my way.” Sighing in relief, Y/n continued to fight off the agents the best she could.

But no matter how hard she tried to buy herself time, it seemed that Natasha was taking forever to come. It had gotten to the point that multiple lashes already appeared. Her healing regeneration couldn’t keep up at all. Not only that, but her body was either giving up from exhaustion or blood loss. It was only during the last couple agents when Natasha had shown up and quickly killed the remainder.

Y/n glanced at the assassin and noticed the lack of any injuries on her and it was as if she barely broke a sweat. “What happened? I almost got killed.”

Natasha glared at Y/n as she responded with, “I helped Bucky and Rhodey on the way, they needed it.” Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat knowing the redhead in front of her had practically lied. If backup was needed, it was always voiced through comms.

Even if Y/n had wanted to confront Natasha about it, she couldn’t. Natasha had already left to head to the quinjet. Y/n simply limped a couple feet from her. When Y/n arrived, it seemed that everyone else was already prepared for take off. Feeling ever more guilty, Y/n simply sat at the closet seat to the entrance that was away from the team. But something inside her broke even more noticing the lack of any questions or concerns from the team in regards to her injuries.

Not even bothering to buckle up, Y/n sulked in her thoughts when she realized, “Why doesn’t anyone care about me?”

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#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #fake memories

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oneoftheprettynerds · 3 years

Text

Fixed: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 4 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 3: Love So Soft

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s shorter than my usual updates but I’m busy so sorry for the delay. My final exam dates have come and all I can do is pray right now lol. Please pray for me if you can, this sis is out here writing fanfics for yall instead of studying so, haha. ANyways, enjoy babies! Shit happens in this chapter.

Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Word count: 5K

Chapter 4: Fixed

You didn’t sleep that night. Or the next few. Your hands shook every time you got a flashback and even though you were numb to emotions that entire day, tears threatened to spill whenever your mind took to you to that overpriced kitchen again.

Now that he had gone to a dangerous and unnerved assaulter from a Dad trying to take care of his daughter, your mind wouldn’t put anything past him. You knew that in the back of your mind that he was a mobster and your ‘friendship’ was alarming to say the least, but now there was no denying his resources and power and the very obvious threat to your life lingering in the air.

At least before you had the luxury to be oblivious and ignorant, not anymore though. Steve felt even more unhinged and liberal now, even messaging you daily, greeting texts that you obviously ignored. He knew you both were aware that you never handed him your number and he felt no need to hide his pursuit.

You read most of the messages, not bothering with a single reply though. You tried to block him but somehow your phone would still receive messages from his number, even though his contact would always peek back at you from the otherwise empty blacklist.

As if his torment wasn’t ample, another message thread from a different number would forward you alarming images, photos of Grace in her daycare, on a class trip to the park and even her playing in your backyard. You had no doubt that this was another game of his to show you his resources.

You skipped daycare for a few days, your mental health worse than it was after the carnival attack, because now you had a personal tormentor and you cursed yourself for falling into this mess. At times, you believed it wasn’t your fault really, you just helped a kid and this situation spiraled itself but what would pointing fingers now get you? The harsh truth was you were in a calamitous situation now and every step from now on had to be thought out.

So, you let Grace attend her daycare and acted if nothing was amiss or altered, after the few initial breakdown days of course, kept going to your job and earning the bread. You considered your options, you really wanted to go to the cops or a higher fair power but those were few these days, almost non existent in your city. You also vaguely recalled meeting three of the Captains of the PD at Sarah’s birthday, all smiley and doe eyed for Steve. You knew they wouldn’t help, fucking kiss-asses.

Maybe you would have to move somewhere else, perhaps to your hometown, at least till things cooled down or better yet were forgotten? But that trail was very predictable and you didn’t want your parents in this mess.

You also came to know that Steve had inserted himself in the other spheres of your life. You were sure your location was always being sent to him, the knowledge a courtesy of the black car following you while you travelled to home at some late day’s end.

Aiden told you whereabouts were easy to track, when you inquired ambiguously. Another instance was when you went to the bank to deposit cash for your debit card, you came face to face with an enormous amount already there. Somehow, the limit on your credit card was also extended. How, you knew. The clerk told you about an email you must have gotten in regards to it, you dismissed that justification away and told them to not accept the cash. To sum the discussion, they weren’t helpful and had no policy against anonymous donors.

Aiden, your trusted coworker cum pal, sensed the shift in your aura and fidgety form very easily, pestering you with questions and you decided to turn to him, stressed and tired and ready to do something. His questioning eyebrows made you confess vaguely but you refused to tell him the extent of it. Just that his prediction came true and you needed help. Let’s just say, Aiden was a good man.

With time, Steve’s ‘affectionate’ messages became deranged, and you found it harder to act nonchalant in your daily life. You were thankful he didn’t come to visit you, possibly occupied with the rumored war between the mobs. You just prayed for a few more days of ignorance, just enough time to think and do something.

“What do you mean someone collected her?!” You had a hard time controlling your voice, you were about to burst, in tears or with anger, you didn’t know.

“The man was verified in the emergency contacts and we got a letter signed and approved by you to skip the day an hour into the first activity.”

“A man? Emergen-, wait no! What fucking approved letter?”

You had three emergency contacts, your mom in another state, Aiden, and one of the other kid’s mom you had grown close to. Aiden was with you at work all day, so did someone disguise themselves as him? And what was the deal with the letter signed by you? You surely didn’t remember writing and authorizing one.

The boy, Pietro, who had been the receptionist for as long as you could remember, shuffled through the chaotic piles of paper and presented a letter to you, and your blood froze as your eyes skimmed the font.

Your beautiful cursive stared right back at you and you knew that no one would ever be able to distinguish between this penmanship and the one in the pocketbook in your clutch. No one but you. Even though you knew you had not written it, the slightly different ‘f’ and ‘g’ told you everything.

Your signature at the bottom though, was done quite perfectly and that made you even more scared.

“I did-, I didn’t write this! What the-” Your widened eyes met Pietro’s from above the paper but all he offered you was a meek smile. Your hands shook with rage and for the first time in your life, you had the urge to slap someone really bad.

“Maybe your family had an emergency to take he-”

“No, you don’t get it!” You stopped yourself from getting frantic, willing yourself to take deep breaths and think rationally. Today of all days, things had to mess up.

He didn’t know you had no family in this city, that you had a mobster after you or the subtle threats that his hired spy sent to you.

Was going to the police an option? Aiden already told you that the cops were as good as Steve’s men. But this was about your missing kid! You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her. And you were giving Steve way too much credit, what if he wasn’t behind this all? Come to think of it, what if the other number wasn’t his?

Relax yourself! Thinking of disturbing theories wouldn’t help anyone. You thought you should go to the cops, just in case. No mentioning of Steve, just a woman with a ‘missing child’ report.

‘Missing Child’ left an acrid taste behind and you were too close to a breakdown, but your whole journey of single-parenthood taught you to kick vulnerability aside, well most of the times.

You turned and were about to leave, but Pietro stopped you. “If you are going to the cops Ma’am, they require 8 hours of inactivity or disappearance time for kids under 5.”

Well look who just read your mind.

You huffed and kept the tears at bay, your mind thinking of what to do then? Grace was obviously taken-

“How could you let a toddler leave without informing the parents?” You knew your anger was channeling out at the wrong man but didn’t he all but hand Grace to the stranger?

You beat him answering and inquired, “What did the man look like? Do you have any footage? Anything?” The wrinkles in your forehead and stress creases on your face paired with the eyebags betrayed your age surely. You were sure you had aged more this week than an entire decade, juggling your normal life with the hovering threat.

“You shouldn’t be this worried Ma’am.”

The fucking audacity.

“Your daughter recognized him, she all but ran to him and this other little girl he came with. You should maybe ask your parent-friends around? A blonde family perhaps?”

As all the emotions drained from your face and terror took over, the young lad in front of you looked smug. You wondered as if you imagined the faintest of smirks on his face.

You crumpled the letter in your hands, seething with rage as you stepped in your car. Oh, you were mad, more wrathful than ever. You could take any hits on you, any threat but not on Grace, never on her.

You were stupid, you had already decided you wouldn’t put anything past him but unknowingly, you did put this past him. You thought this man had a shred of decency to not use your kid in this adult war, being a parent himself and all but what a surprise! You were wrong.

You drove to your home, your thoughts a mix of trepidation, anxiety and fury. You were scared of him and his reach and resources but if he put Grace in any type of danger; whether to teach you a lesson or use her as bait or both, there’d be consequences.

Lord knows you killed a man a month ago Grace was threatened.

You had one thing to do before contacting Steve about Grace but you never got to do it because unexpectedly the bastard was in your home. In your home.

The black sports car outside was a huge giveaway but your suspicions were confirmed when you opened the door with your house key. The banter and giggles from inside alarmed yet calmed you; the dread of confrontation and the assurance of Grace’s safety reigned your mind.

As the door opened painfully slow like a horror movie, the sight that met your eyes made you sick with a feeling of failure. It wasn’t gore or blood or grunge, it was Steve bouncing Grace in the air and catching her while Sarah twirled around in the living room.

This man was craftier than you thought, every action of his was calculated, each a refined step. You had been so preoccupied to avoid direct encounters with him in your little family’s life that you didn’t think he had other ways. He was always looming around with Sarah and as Grace began to trust Sarah, she consequently began to trust her blonde guardian too.

As you slammed the door behind you, Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and his smirk made you want to punch him so hard. The smugness on his face while he let Grace down without breaking eye contact told you he had no regret, no remorse. In fact, he was loving every second of this cat and mouse chase between you two.

You were a millimeter close to losing your shit, the only check being the kids in the room. But you were mad and he was going to know it.

“What the hell, Steve? Messing with my kid?” You threw your clutch onto the couch, Steve haughty by the reception of his sent message but still holding back because of the kids. He called Wanda and you didn’t really notice where she came from but you did register Steve asking to take the girls to the park for a ‘private discussion’.

As Grace passed by you, you grabbed her arm lightly, making her look at you with doe eyes resembling yours. You gave her a smile trying to ease her, but you knew she was smart enough to sense the change in the atmosphere.

Apparently, the whining Sarah wasn’t.

You looked back to Steve, your hold still on Grace and continued with a frown and raised eyebrows, “She isn’t going anywhere, not out of my sight and obviously not with you or your goons.”

Wanda had the audacity to look offended and you scoffed at her, eyes staring Steve’s down.

“Honey, I don’t think the kids should hear what I think you have to say right now.” He said nodding to Wanda to take Grace.

“You must be deranged to think I trust Grace near anyone even remotely related to you! Take your people and get out.” You held your hand up to stop Wanda and pointed towards the door with the most menacing glare you could form.

Grace looked incomprehensibly between you two, concern and confusion on her face. That might have been the first time such a tone was used in your household. The grumbling Sarah was close to throwing a tantrum, irritated by the change in the playful air or the lack of attention to her, you didn’t know. She was hanging on Wanda’s forearm, her feet slipping on your printed rug. Wanda was trying to not look hurt still by your previous statement, distracting herself by the blonde kid and you were baffled by her obliviousness to all this.

Steve, the beefy blonde Lucifer, was furious and seething. His white knuckles and ticking jaw were the most obvious giveaways, the fingers just itching to beat the shit out of someone no doubt.

Was he imagining striking you into compliance into his weird playhouse game complex? You wouldn’t be surprised given the extent of his attempt to ‘win’ you over.

The ‘get out’ tone and blatant disrespect was a bruise to his ego for sure, and by you, a middle-class woman nonetheless was a worse injury. Steve was the deadly boss to armored men in the vicinity, the kids’ father figure, according to him, and Wanda’s stern yet kind employer.

People had been killed for less and there you were, standing in all your glory, being the only person alive to reject Steve Rogers and now, the only to raise your voice at him.

You almost scoffed at his impudence to look offended, what did he expect? For you to submit to him after the stunt he pulled? His reach was scary he proved today and that any future with him in your life in any way, was a fearsome possibility to entertain but you’d be damned if you went down without a fight.

“You can’t make me leave; we both know. You don’t have the physical edge nor the mental one. I have no problem drawing out G-U-N-S in front of the kids or to throw the warnings around, although I would prefer not to.”

Your free hand itched to slap him, like how his did minutes ago. It wasn’t a mankind problem about men thinking they were entitled to everything; it was a Steve Rogers’s problem. Of course, with him consent didn’t matter. If he had a ‘housewife, kids and fences’ fixation, he’d make it come true.

“Do you even listen to what I say? Or your own words even? Please, go ahead! Traumatise my kid and also yours in your wooing process! Why are you so obsessed? Leave us alone, you freak! I just ignored few messages!” You had a hard time maintaining your cool, if there was any left. You were sure you were scaring Grace and no matter what happened next, you knew she was already traumatized by this entire ordeal already. You were so sorry, so, so, so sorry to your poor baby caught in this mess.

You knew, no, you hoped, he wouldn’t pull out the gun, his actions at the carnival a proof, you remembered how he hid his gun on finding Sarah. That threat was empty but the next one wasn’t, his words making you freeze in your spot.

“I think you keep on misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I don’t make empty promises,”

Posh word for threats.

“For starters, maybe I should pay my future in-laws a visit in their blue duplex. They might need help with the vast garden they have, it is the season for ‘violets’, isn’t it?”

As you froze with your parents being brought up, he also cooled, albeit differently, smirking once again gaining the upper hand, not that he lost it if you were being honest.

“Isn’t threatening my kid enough for you, Steve?” You hated how your loud voice almost broke, your anger slowly subsiding into helplessness and you hated that. You hated his guts, his entitlement, his claim; everything about him.

“You still don’t see it, do you? Our family of four is the most important thing to me right now and I’m not above doing anything to save it.”

“There is no family of four Steve! I keep explaining and you keep coming back to square one with all this bullshit!” The curse word did tick Steve off but he would correct that later, when bigger things weren’t at ploy.

“Your ignorance makes me a little mad sometimes sweetheart and that is why I have to do all I do. You haven’t realized we need each other yet, but I’m staying until you do and even after that, I promise. You know how much it pissed me off to see your tickets and the packed suitcases after I’ve been nothing but nice? I was so generous to spoil you with my riches but instead I find that in your finances.”

This fucker knew. Of course, he did!

You were wondering in the back of your head what had prompted this visit with so many threats and warnings and anguish. He was pissed even before you ‘acted out’, he tracked the tickets and the plan and that meant he even tracked-

“You have so much to learn, but luckily you interact with quite a few people. I am most tempted to start out with this Aiden guy, trying to be the hero and giving you all the ideas. Maybe I should visit him?” Steve wondered out loud, and you flinched at his suggestion, hating how you were trapped by this man.

You couldn’t live with yourself if anyone got hurt because of you, be it your parents or Aiden or any other possibility Steve would come up with. Of course, Grace was your peak priority but you doubted he would hurt her as he threatened to harm them.

“Steve, please.” The fire was almost out, your hands trembling, Grace worried and Steve smug.

“Let the kids go and I think we can come to a conclusion.”

“Steve this needs to stop.” You said, your breaths heavy and helplessness clawing away at you.

“I won’t repeat myself.” He voiced out with a threatening edge, gesturing to Grace and Wanda, clearly telling you to first get the kids out.

For a deranged fucktard, he sure cared about the kids a lot.

You loosened your hold on Grace, patting her arm softly and nudged her to Wanda. Wanda received her little hand and enticed the kids with the promise of ice-cream. Sarah clapped her hands and as the trio left, Grace did look over her shoulders at you in concern and for permission, majorly in concern though. You nodded and waved, a tear dropping as soon as the door clicked shut.

You were still staring at the door, not wanting to meet Steve’s stormy blue orbs when he began, “Today was a slip up that I won’t tolerate again. Neither the cursing nor the dramatics.”

We aren’t in a fucking play, what the fuck is he labelling as dramatics?

Your eyes slowly flickered to his, and you had a hard time not letting the tears escape except the one traitorous one earlier. The fatigue, the worry of Grace’s disappearance, the threats to your friends and family were all catching up to you. It took all in you to stay strong and not fall down right now.

“Steve this isn’t funny anymore. It’s sick and you know it! I just said no! Was that so inexcusable that you had to follow up with this? You have violated me for that, broken into my home and now kidnapped my daughter! At what extent will you stop?” You broke down finally, arms a flailing mess as fat tears rolled down. Nothing scared more than the helplessness this moment. He won and he knew it. The carnival incident was nothing in comparison to this. The only good thing you could hope in all this was a safe Grace but that too only if you complied, which seemed like what you would do now given your attempts at fighting back and scampering have failed laughably.

“Gosh, I forgot how theatrical women are. You are smart darling; you know what I want from day one, just a happy family. Nothing that horrendous has happened and especially not as badly as put it. I’m just looking out for you and me in the long run.” Steve slowly treaded towards you, his hand extended to pat your arm comfortingly but you involuntarily flinched at contact and stepped back. Steve clearly didn’t like that as he caught your arm in a bruising grip and jerked you towards him. Manhandling you as your wet hands rushed to ease his grip was not a tough task for Steve, a surprise to none.

“Stop trembling like I’ve actually done something to harm you!”

Steve clearly didn’t know how to comfort women and it showed.

You stopped with the cowering away, even though it disgusted you to be this much in close proximity with your assaulter. He clearly had anger issues and no clue how to solve them. You needed to steer the conversation right and get him out. You could see your hands visibly shake as you put them on his chest, just to create some distance and in a way of surrendering to not fight. The tears slowed but you don’t think they stopped; it was hard to tell with a million other things on your mind.

As your eyes made contact, Steve loosened his grip, clearly a bit satisfied by your submission, as he began counting to help you breathe. As much as you hated to admit, it helped you and you got a flashback to the time when you freaked out on him about Grace at that extravagant dinner date. That was a sweet gesture then, not so sweet now. Funny how drastically things change with time.

It wasn’t so much Steve’s help as it was your own mind telling you to be fucking smart about the whole ordeal right now.

“Good. Better. Now let’s talk. Why were you planning to run away? I’ve been busy and coming home to find out that wasn’t joyful, you know.” His smile suggested a better mood than before but his voice, his husky voice always had this daring edge that almost challenged you to defy him but at the same time warned you of unpleasant consequences if you did.

“Steve, I’m scared.” You spoke with utmost honesty. “The part of the world you associate yourself with scares me. You can’t blame me for not wanting that life for Grace, I mean you have a kid of your own. Wasn’t the carnival attack specifically on Sarah?”

The reasoning was right but you knew you triggered him the moment his smile evaporated. He either felt insulted as a parent or disrespected in his profession or probably both.

He was fighting his inner demons already and you pointing it out was a slap to his face, a hit he didn’t want to take.

“That was a slip up, I admit. Never again. I’m only human, okay?” He convinced himself and you, his grip tightening a bit again.

Oh no, not the right direction to take.

You reckoned he still had nightmares about it like you, he really did love Sarah a lot, all things aside.

“Besides, I am looking out for you! Out for you and Grace and Sarah. I remember my promise of never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

You definitely didn’t trust his security or his people because what sort of a mobster let his daughter get targeted and possibly abducted? You definitely didn’t know the whole story or if it was just a bad day but he wasn’t a person that deserved some slack. Despite all this, you knew what all he held above you, above a common man. He might not be ‘Kingpin’ skilled but a threat to you nonetheless.

Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “Is that what you call following me around, huh?” which you immediately regretted.

“Trust the process, baby. Everything is just to protect you.”

Is that what he called stalking even Grace around and twistedly enough, sending you proof of that? The anonymous thread of photos was another nightmare of yours, thanks to him. The last being a candid photo inside Grace’s room, her sleeping in her bed this morning and that’s when you decided you needed to get out. Of course, that didn’t go as planned.

“How am I supposed to do that when you have cameras in my house?!” You scoffed and he reeled back at the accusation, having the nerve to look impressed at being uncovered and caught red-handed.

“Oh my fucking God, it was you! You sick pervert!” You jumped out of his grip, your eyes wide and horrified. “I wasn’t aware of what to make of it but of course, it was you! Who else would be sick enough to do that?” You let out a humorless chuckle. You always put things past him even when you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. When will you ever learn huh?

You were full on panicking yet again, this man was an assaulter, a stalker and a creep too. It would have made a good dark, psychological thriller for you to watch if you weren’t the protagonist about to suffer his obsession.

He reached out to steady you again, but you whipped and stumbled back, realizing too late that you elbowed Steve’s nose so bad that there was a crunch. That, right there, was the look a man real-fucking-furious on Steve’s face and now you could see the feared mobster, the man who was personally terrorizing you under the beautiful, Greek God façade.

Steve reacted so fast even with an injury that in a split second, your view of his face turned into a view of his crotch.

“You do realize that there are others ways for me to teach you obedience? I think it’s fucking time you show me your gratitude for my care and attention and apologize for your misconduct and unkind response.” Steve spoke with a hoarse voice, a voice running out of patience and just about done with defiance.

His hand fisted your hair, maintaining eye contact while he nodded between you and his crotch. You knew what he wanted, what he was expecting as ‘thanks’.

“Steve, please no, you don’t-”

His other hand grabbed your jaw, stopping you from speaking as he warned, “I think you have done just enough talking for today, so why don’t you put that tongue to a better use and show me how sorry you are. Better make it convincing because I’d hate to pay one of your friends a visit and then bitch about a nasty blowjob.” He smirked at the end of his monologue, eyes shining with triumph and amusement.

You wouldn’t let him harm anyone else, you couldn’t. You and your daughter were already knee-deep in a pit and at this point, it’d just be cruel to drag someone else in. With shaky hands opening his pants, you just hoped you could get Grace out before you eventually were buried in it.

“Now that’s a good girl. Submissive is a sexy look on you.” His hands patted your hair, playing with your tresses while yours pulled his pants and then briefs down.

His member jerked out, almost slapping you in the face as you recoiled at his insolence to get hard and erect at your torment. Your disdain must have shown which he took as admiration and derision to take his affluent cock in.

“No need to get shy, I have faith you’ll be able take it just as well in your pretty pussy as you will right now. Open up-”

“Steve, I beg you-”

Just as you had cut him off, he interrupted your pleading. Your gag reflex was probably the most efficient in the world but that turned this narcissist on. It had been years since you had done it, never with a man as beefy as Steve.

His taste was salty and if you had to put it into better words, it was the like overpriced sea salt flakes that you never bought. High and pricey and for the entitled.

Your hands clutched at his thighs as you blacked out multiple times; your jaw aching, uvula swaying and tears escaping. Him forcing himself on you brough a new sense of vulnerability as your body trembled. Steve relished like a sadist, practically rutting into you all by himself as you just sat there with your jaw unnaturally open.

His obscene moans and groans were crass and nauseating and you just prayed for this to be over soon and for no one to walk in on this, especially your kid.

It seemed like it would never end, your body dehydrating with all the spit it produced, the drool dribbling and landing just beside your knees on your printed rug. You would have to throw that out.

The tears stooped after some point, the sobbing an unnecessary action that just tired you out more on this eventful day. You moved your tongue around to prevent your teeth from scratching him when he shifted angles. If this was what he did on slightly mad, you didn’t want to find what he did for a more serious punishment.

Apparently, that action was something that turned him on even more, his breath hitching as neared closure. In broken whispers he demanded that again and you complied, wanting to get done with it.

He growled in the moment of his release and you tried to lean back but his grip didn’t relent. “Swallow.” His grainy, exasperated voice said out loud and you knew better than to defy.

He released you and you fell on to the rug, hip bruising by knocking into some furniture and tears coming back again after being hydrated by his seed. He packed himself, his smile smug and content as his expressions truly resembled ecstasy being personified.

“You be a good fiancée from now on and maybe you’ll have all your friends alive and present at our wedding. No cheeky business from now on, got it?” Steve hummed then and strutted out, not even bothering to listen to your reply.

As soon as the door slammed, your eyes closed and your demons danced again.

There was no right direction to take when you were stuck in a loop.

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twdbegins · 3 years

Note

when you can, can you do a Simon age gap smut, where the reader keeps turning down all the boys her age that try to get with her because she likes older men, can older men do it better and cuz ya know Simon is breathtaking, please and thank you

This got lost in my inbox somehow! So sorry for the wait!

Preferences

Simon x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut. Language.

Word Count: 1,651

“Are you saying it’s because I’m attractive?”

Being in your early twenties is a hard time for anyone. You’re now out of your adolescence years, being thrown into the deep end of adulthood and trying to navigate your way through life. Being thrown in a zombie apocalypse doubled your struggles.

“How many times do I have to tell you no?” You snapped at the puppy eyed guy that had been following you around for the whole day.

Travis was a sweet guy. He meant well and he was always kind to you, but you simply weren’t interested. He was rather persistent that you go out with him or even at least give him a chance. He tried to keep up with your fast pace as you whisked through the hallways.

“Come on, [Y/N]. I’d just like to go out with you sometime,” He attempted to persuade you; “It doesn’t have to be a romantic thing.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. That’s what they all said. It always ended up being a romantic thing, and you weren’t sure how many different ways you could turn him down easily before having to get aggressive.

“Travis. I said no and I mean no.” You said, stopping your fast walk and hoping he’d catch the sharp edge in your tone.

Defeated and dejected, Travis let out a heavy sigh and hung his head. He pushed past you to go sulk for the rest of the day. You didn’t like hurting anyone’s feelings, but sometimes the men around the Sanctuary just couldn’t take a hint. You leaned against the nearest wall, rubbing your forehead stressfully.

There weren’t many younger Saviors here. There were maybe 15 or so that were actually close to your age, and you had turned down probably about 8 of them over the course of your time at the Sanctuary. You just didn’t feel attraction towards any of them. You heard heavy footsteps approaching, accompanied with a low whistle.

“Damn, sweetheart. That’s the third one this week you’ve turned down.” The familiar voice bellowed.

You looked to see Simon striding towards you, his hand motioning to Travis who he had just passed by. You groaned.

“He’s the most stubborn one yet.” You announced, feeling a slight blush as Simon took the vacant spot next to you on the wall.

Truth was, if there were any man at the Sanctuary that you wanted the attention of, it was the infamous right-hand man. Simon was a real man. He was built, strong, intelligent, charming, and devilishly handsome. You had a gut feeling that he knew his way around a woman. If only there was a way you could put your theory to the test.

“Travis is a great guy.” Simon noted.

“Yeah, and so is Alan, Ron, and Cedric,” You said, referring to the other guys you had shut down; “I’m just not interested.”

“You know, most women would be flattered at the amount of attention you get.” Simon pointed out, crossing his arms and looking over at you with his dark brown eyes.

You could smell his cologne. It was faint, but it was heavenly.

“Yeah, but is it because they’re actually interested or because I’m the only available woman around?” You questioned aloud.

You were well aware that (other than Negan’s wives, who were strictly off limits) you were pretty much the only young, spry woman around. The Sanctuary was of male majority, and most of them were incredibly sexually frustrated, especially the younger ones.

“I was that age once. Trust me, there’s other reasons.” Simon said boldly, a grin appearing on his face.

You scoffed, but hid the deepening blush on your face. He was one smooth charmer.

“Are you saying it’s because I’m attractive?” You suggested, really hoping that’s what he meant.

He shrugged.

“Maybe. I mean, if I were in their shoes, I’d try like hell to even get you to spare me a passing glance,” He admitted; “I’m not so sure you’d want to get involved with me though. I’m not exactly 25 anymore.”

You felt a spark of thrill. You had a chance. This chance was too good and too perfect to pass up.

“You might be surprised.” You flirted, trying not to sheepishly smile.

He was surprised. He turned his frame towards you as realization washed over him.

“You saying that you have a thing for older guys?” He pondered.

“Maybe.” You repeated what he had said slyly.

He smirked, a dark chuckle erupting from his chest. He leaned his arm against the wall, drawing closer to you. He was dangerously close. Your lips almost touching.

“I thought I was crazy for thinking that you’re always eye fucking me,” He chided; “I guess my old intuition is still in working order.”

You laughed, slipping just your fingertips into his waistband. This is what you were interested in.

“I wonder what else of yours is in ‘working order’.” You hinted.

He hummed lowly.

“You sure you want to go for it?” He asked for consent.

“Hell yes.” You replied immediately.

His lips crashed into yours, rough kisses that were hungry and unexpected. His hands were under your ass in seconds, hoisting you around his waist and carrying you to his room that wasn’t too far from the hallway you were in. You were making out like a mad, horny teenage couple that hadn’t seen each other for a long summer. You had never been in his room before, but you didn’t care much for looking around at his decor.

He tossed you onto the bed, earning a squeak from you when your back hit the mattress. Both of your clothes were strewn across the room, your naked bodies pressed against one another warmly. His lips were hot on your neck as he sucked harsh hickeys, the slight pain and immense pleasure were a perfect mix. Your moans and the sounds of his lips on your skin were the only sounds in the room.

“You’re already so wet.” He said, reaching and rubbing slow circles onto your clit.

You whimpered out, his fingers working magic on your sensitive sex. He slipped two of his fingers inside of you, his fingers curled and massaged your inner walls, feeling how she was coated with slickness. You had almost forgotten that this was supposed to be about him, but that didn’t stop you from rolling your hips as you began to grind into his fingers.

“Shit. Oh...” You breathed out as he pumped his fingers and curled mercilessly.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” He growled into your ear; “You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming of seeing you like this. You deserve someone who knows what they’re doing to make you feel good.” He said, bringing you close to the beginning of your climax.

But you didn’t want to finish just yet. You stilled his hand, making him withdraw his fingers. He looked you dead in the eyes as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. You felt prideful when he did so.

You purposefully moaned in his ear, sending him over the edge. He was between your knees, having your legs around his waist in seconds. His hands gripped your thighs, keeping you firmly around him. He scanned over your naked body that was sprawled out on the bed.

Seeing you laid out underneath him, squirming with expectation was arousing and maddening. There were so many things that you did (some intentional and some not) that drove him absolutely wild. You way you bit your lower lip whenever you caught him staring at you, only using your imagination to wonder what he was thinking when he looked at you.

He pushed his shaft through your folds, relishing and groaning at the feel of you once more. Your alluring sigh signaled him to start moving, pulling out and back in at a rapid pace. Your inviting sounds were music to his ears.

You pushed your body down to meet each of his thrusts, allowing him to hit just the right spot. You could feel the pent up tension that he had built up with each rough entrance back into you. He held your hands above your head, his other hand pinning your hips to the mattress.

He pulled out again and one particular slam back into you caused you to moan louder than normal, causing Simon to speed up even more. Your chest bouncing with his every thrust. You were completely focused on the feeling of him dragging in and out of you. He let out a noise that resembled a growl that sent vibrations all through your body. Every cell in your body felt like it might combust with pleasure.

“You’re such a good girl. Taking me so well,” He said thrusting hard and pounding back into you; “I didn’t know what I’d been missing out on.”

Your face was contorted with ecstasy and pleasure. He watched how your breasts bounced every time he railed back into you, your loud sounds were music to his ears.

“You feel so fucking good. There’s no way Travis could’ve fucked me this good.” You praised, meeting his thrusts halfway.

Simon moved your leg over his shoulder and pounded into you even harder now. You almost cried out at the new angle. Your other leg tightened around him, his dick twitching deep within you.

You involuntarily clenched around him with a pitchy cry, releasing and hitting your high. He felt his own spiral, thrusting a time or two more and spilled his release into you. He groaned in solace, pulling out of you. Your hearts were pounding and your minds were racing. You looked up at him and smiled with joy as the look of euphoria in his eyes. You persuaded him to fall next to you so he didn’t totally collapse.

You grinned at him breathlessly.

“Yeah. I am definitely into older guys.”

#simon #simon x reader #simon twd #the walking dead simon #twd simon #simon x reader twd #simon the walking dead #simon twd x reader #simon twd fanfic #simon twd imagines #twdbegins

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faeriejukyung · 3 years

Text

True Beauty’s Gaping Mother Wound

*disclaimer*: I understand that all the listed traits are things which are often very common in Asian households, and it may seem that rather than being concerning, these are just a part of Asian culture. That is why, I feel that it’s necessary for me to make it clear that I am, in fact, Asian (Indian to be specific), and parental abuse is something that is extremely normalized here. As someone who has experienced it firsthand, I want to say that just because something is common/normal, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is correct. If you or anyone you know is in a situation like that, it’s very very important to speak out. And it’s not your fault, i know it’s easier to believe that way but it’s really not. We deserve to be in a loving environment, regardless of what culture we are born in.

Throughout the drama, Jukyung’s mother shows many traits of an abusive mother. I have been able to outline 4 of them. I don’t mean to write her off as an evil character,, because overall she is well intentioned, and just like any other mom, she does love Jukyung. This is shown in episode 8 too, where she shows remorse for her actions. That however, doesn’t justify her abusive behavioral patterns in any way. Because we can see how badly it affects Jukyung, her self esteem and her overall view of herself.

Act 1: “I’m going to kill you today and go to jail” -- Physical Violence.

Throughout the series, we see Jukyung's mother being very violent. But one scene which particularly stood out to me was the scene where she finds out about Jukyung's dad getting scammed. (in episode 1). While it is true that her dad caused a huge financial loss to the family, and anyone would feel angry in a situation like that, it is also true that there is never a good reason to physically abuse someone.

After hearing the news, Jukyung's mom is overcome by anger. It's completely okay to feel frustrated, but the way she violently jumped at her husband, clearly intentioned to hurt him, and the way she needed to be held back by juyoung and heekyung highlights her abusive nature. And this isn't a one time thing where she momentarily lost control of herself. She constantly shows similar behavioural traits throughout the drama.

In the scene where we see Jukyung's mom and dad together properly for the first time, their relationship dynamic is established. He's meekly massaging her shoulders while she orders him around. Their is an obvious power imbalance in the relationship, and the way Jukyung's dad cowers in fear around Jukyung's mom is a proof of that.

Act 2: "Why would you kill my precious son?" -- Conditional Love.

We see examples of Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love in the kdrama AND in the webtoon. Conditional love is when a parent or a parental figure makes their child compete for love. They withhold their affection until the kid acts in ways that are desirable to them, and if the kid fails to do so, the parent often punishers them through different methods. This is their way of maintaining control over their children.

Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love manifests itself in the form of favoritism towards her eldest daughter Heekyung, who’s not only conventionally beautiful but also very smart and has a high paying job, and towards her youngest child and only son, Juyoung, who is also written to be very attractive. Both Juyoung and Heekyung have gifts that Jukyung does not posses -- beauty and brains. The conditions that are established in order to attain their mother’s affection are getting good grades at school, and being conventionally attractive, which is why Jukyung often gets the shorter end of the stick

In the scene where we are first meet Heekyung is the drama, their mom’s affection towards her is very evident.

This is shown in the webtoon too.

She displays this favoritism towards Juyoung too, and even more so. In episode 1 where Jukyung tries makeup for the first time, and gets ridiculed by him for doing a bad job at it, she naturally feels angry and yells at him, “do you want to die?!”, but instead of telling Juyoung to stop, their mother yells at Jukyung for yelling at Juyoung (”why would you kill my precious son? why?”). It’s already very evident that Juyoung has picked up the habit of constantly taunting Jukyung for her face from his mom. In the webtoon, when Jukyung decides that she wants to pursue makeup arts and asks for her mom’s support and fees for academy, her mom flat-out refuses, saying that they don’t have enough money. However as we find out later, money wasn’t the problem, because she had enough money to send Juyoung to a cram school for acting.

I find it hard to believe that any good parent would constantly compare their children and pit them against each other like this. In the webtoon and the kdrama, it is made clear that Juyoung doesn’t have particularly good grades either, but he doesn’t have to face his mother’s wrath by the virtue of being good looking. Jukyung on the other hand, does not have any redeeming qualities.

Act 3: “I’m going to throw all your makeup away” --Excessive Anger.

Another sign of parental abuse is display of excessive anger. It’s usually used as an intimidation tactic to keep the child in line. Sometimes, it can simply happen because they lose control of themselves. Either way, parents who get angry more often than what is supposed to be normal, and hurt their children (physically or verbally) in the midst of their anger, repeatedly, are abusive. I feel like I don’t even need to elaborate on this one. Jukyung’s Mom is angry during half of her scenes. And the way she acts upon that anger crosses the limit too. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to express your the way you feel, but the way Jukyung’s Mom does it, is extremely unhealthy and hurtful to others around her. Whether she’s jumping on Jukyung’s dad or talking down on Im Jukyung, she’s very inconsiderate of how her anger affects others. She almost always expresses herself in an extremely volatile way.

Jukyung described makeup as a hopeful light opening up a new life for her. There’s even a whole music segment of her discovering the powers of makeup, characterized by pastel and bubblegum tones, and the segment has a magical feel to it. Suffice to say that makeup brought an almost magical kind of hope and optimism to her life. In episode 6, Jukyung's Mom goes to her school to get her report card. When she sees her low grades, she gets so angry that she threatens to throw away her makeup, without once considering why Jukyung is so attached to it. In my eyes, she's actually very similar to Soojin's dad who also uses intimidation and physical violence to keep his daughter in line. If we put the same background music for the scenes where we see Jukyung's Mom threatening her, as the ones where Soojin's dad abuses her, they'd practically be identical. The only difference is that the show often plays Jukyung's Mom's behavior as a joke.

In episode 7, after seeing that Jukyung didn't improve as much as she wanted her to, she actually threw away all her makeup. Even though Jukyung did try, and did improve, it still wasn't enough for her mom. Jukyung's restlessness after not seeing her makeup on her table was palpable through the screen. Finding out that her mother threw all her makeup away sort became her breaking point. We see her yell at her mother and express her feelings for the first time.

I think it's important to note that Jukyung, who's already finds it very tough to reach out to her courageous side, was inspired by this incident to stand up to her mom, to express her outrage. Saying that makeup meant a lot to her is an understatement.

Act 4: "What's the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on if you're ugly underneath?" -- Verbal Abuse.

We all get into arguments with our parents from time to time, and I’m sure we’ve all been yelled at by them at some point. Verbal abuse however, is not something that is normal, and the two shouldn’t be confused. A parent who constantly humiliates their child, yells and screams at them, talks down on them is in simple terms, an abuser.

In episode 1, when Jukyung tries makeup on for the first time and goes to school, she gets ridiculed by her bullies and her classmates. Crestfallen, she returns back home after school and goes to her mother for reassurance. Instead of providing that, her mother ridicules her even more and calls her makeup “Ghost Makeup”. This is something abusers often do. Under the guise of teasing the victim, they often attack the victim’s self esteem, appearance etc, to make them feel insecure and to maintain their position of power over them. Jukyung’s mother isn’t very different from those bullies who told Jukyung that she was ugly and made her feel like she could never amount to anything.

Another example that irks me a lot is from episode 3, when Jukyung’s Mom is chewing her out for being late, and suddenly the conversation turns to cosmetics and makeup. This is also one of the traits of verbal abuse. Instead of arguments surrounding the basic issue, they branch out and turn into character assassination. Her mom accuses Jukyung of wasting all her time on makeup instead of studying, even when Jukyung clarifies that she got late because she missed her bus, not because she was out buying cosmetics. But her mom doesn't listen and says to her, “What’s the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on when you’re still ugly underneath?”

Jukyung’s face after hearing her own mother say that was heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this type of mother-daughter relationship dynamic isn’t something that is rare. Mothers frequently project their own insecurities on their daughters and put them down. Jukyung’s Mother’s behavior explains her self esteem issues, it gives an insight about where her insecurities really stem from. Sometimes our abuser’s thoughts and image of us start maligning our own self image. Frequently hearing them tell us that we are worthless, and that no one will ever marry us or love us, makes us believe that we are in fact, worthless and incapable of being loved unless we change something about ourselves. We frequently get an insight into how Jukyung thinks of herself throughout the drama.

“It’s not my fault that I was born dumb” (In episode 7, after finding out that her mother threw away her makeup.)

“You know that I’m messed up” (In episode 2, referring to her face, while asking Lee Suho to keep her bare face a secret)

The drama is yet to end so I don’t want to completely write Jukyung’s Mother off as an abuser. I hope she becomes a better mom in the show, I really do. Because Jukyung deserves a loving mother. And Jukyung's mom does in fact have a few redeeming qualities, however, simply love and caring isn’t enough, you need mutual respect, reassurance and effort in each every relationship. We know that Jukyung’s mother is also often labelled as an ugly woman, and she believes that she could only get by through studying well. (“It’s going to be okay as long as you study well” - episode 1). In a world where a woman either has to a exceptionally beautiful to be considered worthy, or be exceptionally intelligent and professional lest she isn’t blessed by beauty, it’s very easy to internalize self hatred and direct it on to other individuals (especially if those individuals are your children). That is why i genuinely find myself rooting for Jukyung’s mother and hoping for a character development arc -- because i understand where she comes from, and because i can empathize with her.

Fin.

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ficsforeren · 3 years

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This is so off topic to the tls talk, but I love how your blog just feels like one big group chat for Eren simps. I’ve never seen a writer so happy and genuinely interested in what their readers think, or even just to interact with the random Eren related content we send you. I feel like a lot of writers that have blown up for Eren fics act a little weird, uh I’m not sure how to explain it, I mean it’s valid sometimes considering the way this fandom harasses authors. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say lol, you’re just really great and I appreciate that.

As much as I want TLS to go viral and get the credit it deserves I kind of love that it’s like a little gem on tumblr, your readers really get to enjoy it without a mass amount of people here to ruin it. And it’s also not a fic that we’re reading just because it’s so overly hyped, this is genuinely good content. ALSO, THE EXTRA THICCC AND JUICY CHAPTERS 😩 I binged this fic when you were on chapter 8 I think and I was hooked from the first chapter, I never would’ve imagined a fic this detailed to be updated so frequently. I already told you how this fic feels a little personal to me, but you always have me feeling absolutely every emotion you write about, I love getting tingles at the little romance scenes. Btw your absolutely insane in the best way for writing 30k for the last chapter.💀

You are absolutely incredible, I genuinely believe you can do no wrong with your writing (I hope this is somewhat reassuring since you seem a little stressed about the ending), but I really mean it. Idk what you do for a living but if you aren’t perusing writing as an actual career I definitely think you should. PRINT TLS AND I WILL LITERALLY BUY IT NO JOKE! I’m so bad with words lol I feel like I can’t explain how much I adore you as a writer and a person 😭 Your fics are such a great distraction for me and I really appreciate them, I just really hope outside of your blog you’re happy and living a great life, you deserve it.❤️

Idk if you get hate or have any toxic readers but I just think you should know your work is appreciated. I didn’t mean for this to get so sappy oops😗 love you tho

oh no... you're gonna make me cry again

HERE COMES THE TEARS ASKDLFLDFMASD

honestly every time i see you in my inbox, i get so happy and excited because your messages are always so sweet and supportive, like omg girl, you don't know just how much your words mean to me. i always go back and read your messages again and again when i need to find some motivations to write. i've been having a hard time writing chapter 15 and the epilogue because I'm trying my best to meet your expectation but every time i re-read the stuff i wrote i'm like... man, i don't think this is good enough but i don't know what else i have to do to improve it 😭writing makes me happy but sometimes it can get a bit frustrating you know? i always feel like i have this wonderful scene i want to write in my head but when i put it down into words, it feels... meh. my vocabulary is limited, sometimes i know how to describe it my native language but i don't know how to write it beautifully in english. i lack imagination too and i keep repeating the same formula and sometimes it's just AARRGHHHH

i think it's because of that time when i wrote my first fanfic in EXO fandom. there was this one person i found on twitter who legit made a thread to make fun about my writings. my fic had almost 650,000 views and more than 28k subscribers so it was... pretty popular, i guess, at that time (personally i don't think so and i don't understand why it got recommended a lot by people). so this person made a thread and she was like, "can't believe people actually read this bullshit. i bet a thirteen years-old girl wrote it." and that... really hurt me. and i stopped writing for a while, i was so scared of being made fun of again. i guess that's what makes me feel so insecure about my writings, even to this day, so i'm very happy when people compliment me on my writings. and not just my writing, but also the effort i put into it. it makes me feel so appreciated so thank you so much 😭😭😭

and i think i'm just really lucky to have you guys as my readers. i only have 1.5k followers for this sideblog but all of you are so nice and you always give me feedbacks every time i posted a new chapter and that means A LOT to me. it keeps me motivated to write more and more. i don't mind if my chapter only gets a few notes, as long as i can hear your feedbacks and reviews.

thank you for existing, each and every one of you. i love you guys so much and i hope i can always make you guys happy with my stories.

#and bro you are SO GOOD with your words #you always managed to touch my heart EVERY TIME #seriously #AND THE MEME HAHAHAHAHAH #i'm actually planning to make a physical copy for the last song once it's ended for my personal collection hehe #oh and maybe another one for my beta reader #it makes me feel even more excited ngl hahaha #i do have a few toxic readers that sent me hate messages #i've responded to a few of them but i've been trying to ignore them nowadays #some hate me for yn's character #some for my fashion sense (yeah i do have terrible fashion sense)#a LOT of people hate me for shipping erehisu #a lot of people hate me for hating chapter 139 #but it's fine as long as they can still enjoy my fics #anyway sorry for rambling too much #this message is getting waaaayyy too long #i'm gonna stop now #BUT LET ME JUST SAY THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #YOU ARE THE SWEETEST OF ALL THE SWEETS IN THE WORLD #STOP GIRL YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME DIABETES #the last song canon

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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Huan x female airbender Part Three (last part)

Part one here

Part two here

Tagged: @feitansrisingsun @sirkekselord @sillytimetravelcomputer @linrailme I tagged people who asked for a part three :)

----

You and Huan travel to the firelord’s palace for his appointment with firelord Izumi but another firelord decides to crash your appointment...following the meeting you and Huan get into an argument that ends the trip in a way you did not expect

You and Huan arrived in the firenation a week later and you grinned as Huan stared at everything like a tourist. Wanting to impress him you took the flashy route home to where your mother was waiting. It was the first time Huan had met her and you knew he was nervous given your dad’s attitude to him but he needn’t have been. Your mom had heard all your stories about Huan and greeted him with a large hug as if he was already family, sincerely congratulated him on his appointment with the firelord and enquired after his favourite meal so she could make it for him all within a minute of meeting him. Huan saw where you got your kindness from.

You were slightly worried your small fire nation home would seem quaint in comparison to Huan’s mansion but he seemed oddly entranced by it. You saw him examining everything curiosly, from the handprints on the wall from when you decided to paint the wall when you were 3 and your dad joined in to the bizarre overgrown flower maze your dad called a garden. As Huan was looking around the *kitchen* that was really more of a culinary laboratory for you mom to experiment with new recipes you worried compared to his efficient home this would all be odd to him. You watched his face for any sign of confusion or dislike but couldn’t read his expression. When Huan held up a cup you’d made out of clay when you were 8 you burst “so what do you think?”. “Honestly I think your clay modelling needs work” he joked and you smiled “no of my home...will it be okay for you? I know it’s not Zafou but...”. “Not Zafou? y/n your homes lovely!”. “But you don’t think it’s....” you hit your head on plans your father had hung from the ceiling and frowned “messy and disorganised?”. You knew Huan’s father kept all his research in his laboratory, not on the living room ceiling. Huan smirked and shook his head “no i like all this because it’s so you” he smiled “the warm colours! The personal touches crammed everywhere! The fancy artifacts used as vases” Huan smirked noticing the firenation vase your father had been given which your mom used to hold cooking utensils “it’s the exact embodiment of you I love it” Huan finished and you blushed. “Well that’s...not what I was expecting” you commented and Huan smiled “I can tell by how red you’ve gone, I like when I make you blush”. You blushed even deeper and Huan laughed making you roll your eyes. “Come on i’ll show you your room” you said attempting to distract him but Huan continued chuckling as he followed you upstairs.

Given the fact the meeting was early tomorrow morning you ate and got an early night before setting out for the palace. You and Huan gave your names and were taken through so many coridoors you lost count before eventually being shown into a room with a desk and some sofas. "Wow this place is...". "I know, i thought you were rich" you smirked and Huan smiled but you could tell he was nervous. "Don’t worry it'll be fine, if Iroh recommended it i bet the firelord's all for it". "Have you ever met her before?" Huan asked and you shrugged "a few times at fire nation parties, my dad and her were friends as kids, then he mentored her son Iroh when he joined the army. Iroh was always around our home, he actually babysat me as a kid". Huan paused "the future firelord was your babysitter?". You paused before nodding "i guess, he was always just Iroh to us...his parents wanted him to live as much like a normal teenager as possible so he'd babysit me once a month, kind of hard to think of someone as a prince when they make you food and play doll houses with you". Huan smirked and you smiled "but i’ve met firelord Izumi quiet a few times, and firelord Zuko and Mai once or twice at really formal events". Huan nodded slightly reassured and you touched his arm "it'll be okay i promise". Huan wanted to point out how you had no way of knowing for sure but he didn’t, he just smiled and put a hand over your hand on his arm.

The door opened and you both tensed. You jumped up turned to the leader of the fire nation "Firelord izumi" you said bowing low and Huan followed your lead. "Thank you but there is no need for that" she called "you are my guests" she said showing you a warm smile. You smiled back and she stepped closer to you both "y/n it is so lovely to see you again, how are you parents?". "They are well thank you ma’m" you smiled. “Your father an airbender...I bet he’s making a unique mark on the air nation”. “He is” you laughed “my uncle Tenzin is not too pleased with him”. Izumi smiled fondly "That sounds just like your father” before she turned to Huan “and how are you Huan? We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting before but my son was very impressed with you, how is your mother?". "My mother?" Huan asked "you know her?". "Well i haven’t see Su since we were children but i am fond of her" she smiled "you know my parents and your grandparents were close friends don’t you". You and Huan nodded "of course". Izumi smiled "that is why when my son told me about you Huan I knew I had to meet you. I've been wanting to freshen up the place and who better than such close friends?". You and Huan were slightly speechless but Izumi smiled "so please sit and we will discuss what i have planned". You had just gotten into the plans and areas Izumi wanted art work for when the door opened. Deespite neither of you having been around him much you both recognised the former firelord on sight. "Firelord Zuko" you and Huan gasped and you both rushed to stand and bow. "No no! You are my oldest friends children" he smiled "you do not bow to me". You and Huan blushed and smiled. "It is so nice to see you both here" he smiled coming to stand right in front of you. He searched your faces and smiled "y/n you look just like Aang but I see the hint of Sokka and Katara in you too and Huan....well you just eminate Toph energy" he grinned "it is so nice to see you both, it’s like having a mini Aang and Toph in the palace again..i am so pleased our bloodlines are still linked together". You and Huan smiled glancing at one another "it seems they always have a having of intertwining" you commented and Zuko laughed. "That they do! Now Izumi please continue" Zuko said taking a seat “pretend i’m not even here”. You and Huan smirked at the very idea and Izumi smiled fondly before turning back to your both “so the question isn’t if we want you but when can you start Huan?”.

---

You walked down the palace steps an hour later a buzz about what had just happened. Huan had been hired to comission the palace! The palace! Izumi had given him almost full artistic freedom and a mass amount of money and resources. She had set him no time limit, her only condition was she wanted to announce him as her royal artist and keep him in her books for future works. It was an amazing first job as an artist and more than many got in a lifetime. You were chatting away about how proud of Huan you were when he stopped walking and grabbed your hands. You looked at him confused as Huan grabbed you and kissed you. Huan never liked PDA or being overly affectionate but here he was kissing you infront of the whole fire nation. It wasn’t a quick kiss either, it was the longest kiss you’d ever had and Huan had initiated it. You finally seperated for breath and Huan looked at you "thank you" he smiled "for getting me here, for being my girlfriend, for coming into my life" he smiled stroking your cheek "i...you..". You smiled Huan’s energy running low and took his hand "i know". Huan smiled at you gratefully and pulled you into his chest hugging you. You wrapped your arms around him slotting into him and smiled. You looked up and noticed huan was bright red which was hard with his tanned skin but none the less adorable. "Come on" you smiled seperating from him and tugging his hand "my mom will want to hear the good news!".

Your mom was thrilled and said you should celebrate. You agreed and took Huan to one of the best resturants in the capital. You covered the bill, despite the fact Huan was filthy rich, and just enjoyed treating yourselves ordering everything and anything you wanted. You’d both dressed nicely and you were determined to make this a special occasion and it became one...but for reasons you weren’t expecting.

Huan loved when you dressed up but also couldn’t help but feel nervous or lesser beside you. He knew he was punching dating you but that was most apparent when you went places looking stunning and Huan wore all black or dark green floor length outfits. It was more noticable you were an odd match in moments like this and although you never seemed to notice Huan knew that couldn't be said for other people. Case in point, on your way home you were walking hand in hand back to your house and passed some men. Huan saw their eyes fall on you in that dress and sure enough their heads turned. They were so busy staring at you they didn’t even notice Huan’s glares for a few seconds. When they noticed him they did a double take at your joint hands, clearly thinking the two of you didn’t match. Huan glared at them his muscles tightening and you felt his arm contract. "Huan?" you asked glancing at where he was looking and saw he was staring at some men. "Huan?" You repeated "are you okay?". Huan nodded snapping his head back around "i’m fine". You frowned seeing Huan was angry but didn’t want to press it out in the open.

You got home and found your mom was out meaning you had the house to yourself. You and Huan settled in your room and you took off your jewellery and shoes while watching Huan worriedly. He hadn’t said a word since those men and was just sat staring into space as he expanded his metal bracelet and back again. You frowned and now in private decided to approach the topic. "Huan?" you asked laying a hand on his arm "are you okay?". Huan sighed but nodded "i’m fine". "Because you seem kinda...". "It’s nothing" he said but he’d raised his voice and you frowned "what did those men do?". Huan sighed "it’s not just them it’s everyone". You frowned "but those men must’ve done something to make...". "Yes they did but they’re not the only ones" Huan sighed "everyone does what those guys do when they see us together". You paused sensing this wouldn’t be good but still had to ask "and what’s that?". "They stare, mainly at you first and then they notice me there too and do a double take that you’re even with someone like me, i see them question it on their face, how is he with her?". You touched Huan’s arm again but he shook his head turning away from you "no i get it, i don’t need pity y/n i ask myself that too". “Huan but i...”. “Yeah you like me” Huan sighed “but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t, we just don’t match! We’re complete opposites and it makes me wonder how long before you’ll find someone better and...”. “Huan!”. “No it’s okay honestly I’m just pleased we had this much time together”. "That’s enough" you snapped and Huan’s gaze shot back around confused to hear you raise your voice "what?". "I usually don't say anything because i know you’re just a realist but i won’t let you talk about yourself this way Huan!". Huan paused "but it’s true". "No you think it’s true because of what we’ve been taught but it’s not! Looks don’t count for shit Huan! Some people might think we look odd together but i don’t care, why would i care? I think you’re amazing, smart, funny, hot and care about me...why would i care what anyone else says or thinks? All i care about is what you think of us and I don't want you ever feeling like you have something to prove to me Huan, ever! In my eyes you’re amazing and i see you that way, i see how lucky i am to have you and when i look at you i just want to..." you trailed off and seeing the way Huan was looking at you just kissed him. Huan kissed you back but you could tell he was still hesitant. "You really don’t see how out of my league you are?". You shook your head not moving your face away from his "not at all, were equal you and i, i like you and you like me, what else matters?". "Nothing" Huan agreed and kissed you again. You smiled and kissed him again "you're incredible Huan, you need more confidence, if you could only see yourself how i see you" you sighed and Huan stared up at you "you're just perfection" and kissed him again. Usually you’d break away pretty early on but you didn’t want to this time and neither did Huan. Things progressed further than they ever had but Huan hesitated as you didn't show a sign of wanting to stop. "Y/n are you sure you want to...with me?' you paused but nodded blushing "yes but if you aren’t ready then that’s okay..." you started when Huan kissed you pushing you back down "no i just wanted to make sure you weren’t just doing this for...". You flipped Huan and pushed his shoulders down "i’m doing this because i want to, not because i want to make you feel better or because i feel bad, but because i find you incredibly attractive and i want this". Huan redenned but his eyes sparked “okay”.

***

"Do you believe me?" you asked Huan afterwards and he nodded "yes". You smiled against his chest as his arms tightenned around you. "Good" you smiled kissing his neck, the only part of him you could reach without having to move. "You’re brilliant Huan and i am completely infatuated with you". Huan nuzzled his head against yours and sighed happily “I am too”.

The next morning

You woke up with a jolt and Huan woke up too feeling you jump. "What’s wrong?" he asked and you smiled "nothing...i just wondered where we were". Huan smiled seeing how good you looked beside him and for once thought you fit. He kissed your forehead and smiled "we’re in heaven". You laughed and relaxed back against him "no but we did have an undistrubed night which is odd, my mother must’ve assumed you were in your room and luckily didn’t check". Haun nodded "lucky, very lucky". You grinned and pulled the covers over you two. "Are you cold?" Huan asked and you shook your head "no this way i can forget where we are, it’s just us". Huan smiled and nodded "that’s all i need".

When you finally couldn’t hide anymore you sauntered downstairs for breakfast while Huan went to shower. You mother was sat at the table and greeted you warmly. You ate together chatting happily before your mother smiled “ow i have news! Your father’s coming home tomorrow". You smiled pleased and went to ask when his ship was getting in when your mom continued. "So make sure Huan stays in the guest room tomorrow night". You almost chocked on your breakfast and swallowed with some effort "i’m sorry?". "I’m not stupid y/n" your mother said raising an eyebrow "i know Huan didn’t sleep in his own bed last night". You paled "we...we were...". "It’s okay, you’re both adults just be safe, i trust both of you". "You do?" you asked and your mother nodded "i’ve seen the way he is around you, he’s a sweet boy and i trust him with you, i like him for you". Huan walked into the room and saw the way you and your mother stopped as he entered. "What?" he asked startled and you smiled shaking your head "nothing" and just smiled up at him. You took a moment to just admire Huan in your kitchen, his long dark hair still damp moving as he talked. His goregous green eyes watching you as he pulled a signature frown at your behaviour. Huan was obviously very confused but ignored it and sat down next to you. You entwined your hands and Huan smiled "what’s gotten you so happy?". You sighed and shook your head "nothing in particular". Huan raised an eyebrow but smiled and held your hand tighter.

Epilogue

Huan stayed in the fire nation with you for many years to complete the palace renovation and afterwards decided to settle down in the fire nation permanently. He found the fire nation a perfect place for his modern art and was soon one of the biggests influences of your generation. You carried on your air bending, working as a representative of the air nation for the fire nation along side your father. You and Huan rented an excellently furnished and decorated apartment in the city and later when your duties reduced moved out to the colonies. Neither of you wanted children and instead invested in many cats and dogs, which you loved as dearly as children. Your home was constantly bustling with your and Huan’s family, your father was always popping, your cousins visiting whenever they got annoyed by one another and atleast one of Huan’s siblings was always around. You loved feeling like part of a big family but also love the quiet days where it was just you and Huan curled up infront of the fire. Huan never questioned your match again because he couldn’t. He knew something that felt this perfect had to be just that, perfect.

____

So this is my last part of this Huan series! Thanks for all your support, I never intended to do a part two let alone a whole series so thanks for encouraging me! I hope you like it :)

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rachetmath · 3 years

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JRY vs Ace-ops

Warning: Long read. This is theory on who would survive a fight. A analyses. In my opinion. So with clear, if you agree, then like or comment. Disagree, fine, go wild.

Hello, so you must have read the title. Okay you might be thinking, "Ratchetmath, bro, you can't be serious. There is no way Jaune and Ren can ever defeat the Ace-ops. Only Yang, considering her and her teammates did in volume 7." Which I would completely side with you on. However, I've come to realize that the Hound was never a threat, and more importantly the boys could've done more if the Worf effect wasn't in place. So, let's give these guys a fighting chance and see what they along with Yang, could've done if they had to fight Winter and Ace-ops.

First, let's discuss the Hound and why the Worf effect failed. For those of you who don't know what the Worf effect is, it is when a new character is placed in the story and to prove their strength: you make them fight already deemed strong characters and let them win or stand a chance of winning the fight. The reason the Worf effect failed for the Hound is because Oscar is not a very strong character. Oscar skill level as the show presents is random at best. The Hound should have aimed for Jaune. Jaune as the show and writers made clear, has an incredible amount of aura. Seeing the Hound break his aura completely without even trying would've been more terrifying and makes sense. Or Yang, showing that it could fight.

But why? Why the Hound taking Jaune or Yang down first makes sense? Yeah, Yang is fine but Jaune is not strong or a capable fighter. Maybe not much of a fighter, but he is strong. In fact, he holds back grimm twice his size on a regular basis like an Urosa and Nuckelavee. Even Yang and the other characters, well except Elm because of her physical appearance, are guilty of this. The Hound is no different, it's basically a harder version of the Beowulf. Let's face it, Jaune couldn't do anything because the show must go as planned. Jaune could've save Oscar by getting close and blowing it away with his gravity dusted shield. The hound attacking Jaune first would prove it was watching them carefully, seeing their weapons and abilities to find who could be a threat to its mission. Proving its power and intelligence.

Now, the main event, team JRY versus The Ace-ops. The fight starts when the Ace-ops arrive after Jaune told them about the grimm river. Sadly, when they arrive, things were not so good. The Ace-Ops were more focused on finding Penny instead of the river. Now the grimm river destroyed the Atlas barrier and Atlas was under attack. However, the Ace-ops still want to arrest the group. Instead of going down peacefully, Jaune, Yang and Ren won't go down without a fight. Can they win?

Now, let's scan the environment. They were in an open plain field full of snow. There is nowhere to hide and almost no way to escape for team JRY. The motorcycle is not fast enough to outrun Harriet or a plane. But more importantly there was a crater beside them where the grimm river used to be. Now there are two ways this can go down, but I'll explain later. Let’s focus on the characters.

Let’s talk about the Ace-ops. They are elite hunters in Atlas. And from what we got from volume 8, Harriet told us that Marrow and Winter are replacements for their fallen comrades. Meaning Vine, Elm and Harriet herself are the remaining, long term members of the Ace-ops. So, they work very well together unlike with Marrow and Winter. That could give team JRY an advantage, but not much. Do to the fact that it's five against three and with only one of them being the strongest fighter, they need a plan to set the odds to their favor.

Now for team JRY. Beacon students turned hunters thanks to James. Now they’re with adults. However, there are a few problems with this team. There are three people in the team and two of them, barely fight or have barely won a fight at all. Jaune is more on the defensive while Ren... well, he spams his attacks, and relies heavily on long range. Sadly, the Ace-ops over power them with combative semblances and fire power. Their best shot would be to run. However, there still a way to win. This is a fight or flight situation, so what would happen if team JRY choose either option?

For flight, the reason being because they're not capable, it's a waste time and more importantly lives are in danger. First, remember they were on a field of snow. What does Jaune have? A shield that shoots gravity waves on contact weather it's from enemies or to the ground. Jaune was already in front of the bike and with good timing, he could activate and slam his shield to ground, sending snow flying, causing a smoke screen. Giving them little but plenty of time to hop on the one motorcycle and ride, while making sure Winter or Marrow have no time to stop them with either of their semblances. The crater also plays a key role for their escape. They can ride in it, but Harriet, due to her semblance granting her speed, will be on their tail. However, if orderly seated, Jaune can stop Harriet from getting too close. But what about the other members? Well, they'll be back on the ship, but they can't do anything. If they fire missiles, they'll get in Harriet's way and more importantly hurt her in the process. Jaune could also block her path himself with shield bomb.

Now, for fight. Reason being is Oscar is in danger and needs saving. More importantly the plane is better for traveling around Mantle and saving people than a motorcycle. This will be a difficult battle but not one sided. This is going to involve the team trusting each other. And putting their skills to the test.

First off, they would need to get rid of Marrow. Marrow may be the rookie of the Ace-ops, but he is the most powerful. His semblance can stop time just by looking at his opponent or pointing at them, commanding them to "Stay" in place.

To take out Marrow, they need to knock him out before he uses his semblance. So, before the fight truly starts, Yang should be close to Jaune, grabbing his clothes and amplifying her aura. When she has enough, Jaune, since team JRY will get a plane, launches the bike and Ren shoots the gas tank. The explosion should cause a temporary smoke screen. Yang should immediately get on Jaune shield for him to launch her towards the Ace-ops and activate her semblance to knock Marrow out. Wait a minute, but Yang's semblance doesn't work like that, she needs to take damage to even use it. However though, Blake revealed that Yang and Adam's semblances are one of the same. Meaning, both can activate their semblances any time without the need to be attacked. Yang has done this once back at Beacon and in Atlas considering Elm couldn't even touch her. But this would wear her out. Too bad she was amplified by Jaune, so she may not experience the same negative draw backs when using her semblance recklessly before.

Wait, but what about Aura? Can't aura protect Marrow from harm? Well, sadly no. Aura, as the show so far made clear, is limited to what it could do for its users. If you have a broken arm, get poisoned and/or critically wounded, your aura my not save you. So, a heavy blow to the head is something your aura is useless in healing, especially when you need to be conscious.

Now, it's four against three. So, what should happen next? Jaune pushes Harriet into the crater, allowing Ren to fight her. Harriet may be fast but with the crater being narrow and deep she'll have a hard time moving around and probably climbing out. This will allow Ren to adapt to her movements and fight in her in hand-to-hand combat. Hopefully, he's still good at that and not relying on his upgrade.

Jaune may have to take on two opponents. They are being Vine and Elm. Don't get me wrong, it took Blake and Yang to beat them, but Vine and Elm aren't really that good. In fact, they are just stronger versions of Ren and Nora, except Vine's semblance is better suited for combat. But let’s be clear, Jaune survived a journey of pain without his aura being broken but a few times. Never mind, only once, do to being tired after fighting a giant mech.

Now, hear me out. Elm is strong, and her weapon is an RPG. But her semblance is useless if the ground is cracked, which Jaune can do without wasting aura, or entering a burst mode. Elm also has not demonstrated any hand-to-hand combat skills. Even if she was willing to still use her weapon without her semblance, it only further proves she will suffer from the recoil from her weapon once fired. Plus, Jaune can block or deflect the missiles back at her using the gravity waves from his shield. Also, though Elm is stronger than Jaune, he's faster, has more movability and a sword. So as the saying goes, "Bigger doesn't always mean better."

But hey, what about Vine? He beat Jaune before. But who can't beat Jaune? More importantly, didn't Vine need the high ground to fight anyone. In the snow plain field, Vine has no high ground but the ship, Jaune already fought him once so he might know how far his arms can stretch, and more importantly, Jaune is physically stronger than Vine. He might use his weapon but again, the shield can deflect it. And if Jaune grabs his stretchable arm, he basically can throw Vine around.

I will make this quick for Yang. Yang will take on Winter. She would be able to reason with her considering she's friends with her sister. But Yang might have some ways to fight Winter considering she should knows how Weiss fights and been working with Weiss for a while. However, we still must consider that Winter can make an army of grimm, but she has not used any other tactics.

But these are still highly trained hunters. They aren't so easily to be defeated especially against Jaune and Ren. Well, Jaune can assist Ren by knocking out Harriet. How? Ren could use his grappling gun to capture and slow down Harriet. Ren gives Jaune a signal, Jaune goes to him, Ren releases Harriet who was running too fast for her own good with no time to react. Finally, Jaune use his shield to knock her out. They climb out and both can fight Vine and Elm. Same for Ren if to assist Jaune first. Harriet may be fast but won't be able to climb out the crater. Once all four members are down Winter would be the only one left. And sadly, the Schnees despite their abilities, still manage to lose battles.

Well, that’s all folks. Remember this is in my opinion. If there are ways for team JRY to win or if there are flaws to my plan, then please leave a comment. However, despite what I said, team JRY would still lose. Mostly due to what I said about the Worf effect not being used properly. And the villains have way more plot armor then the heroes.

#rwby #Jaune Arc #lie ren #yang xiao long #rwby ace ops #Oscar Pine #rwby elm ederne #vine zeki #rwby marrow #marrow amin #harriet bree #winter schnee #clover ebi #rwby vine #rwby harriet #The Hound

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bewitching-elizabeth-olsen · 3 years

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Press: Elizabeth Olsen and Jurnee Smollett Compare Notes on Genre-Blending Acting and Advocating for Performers on Set

VARIETY: Neither Elizabeth Olsen nor Jurnee Smollett are strangers to having to really stretch their imaginations to dive into complex characters and even more complicated worlds.

Both have superhero films on their résumés: Smollett portrayed Black Canary in DC’s “Birds of Prey,” while Olsen stepped into Wanda Maximoff aka the Scarlet Witch’s shoes for Marvel’s “Avengers” franchise and then some — including Disney Plus’ first Marvel series, “WandaVision.” They are both now Emmy-nominated for projects that tasked them with jumping through time, blending genres and telling epic love stories (Olsen with “WandaVision,” Smollett with HBO’s “Lovecraft Country”). And, even though they are up in different categories (Olsen in lead limited series/TV movie actress; Smollett in lead drama actress), both of these shows are one-season wonders, leaving the performers and their audiences wanting more.

Olsen and Smollett dissected all that of when Variety brought them together post-nominations to talk about their celebrated roles and surreal playgrounds.

You both had a lot of magical or otherwise surreal elements to interact with on your shows. What did you actually have in front of you to react to on set?

Jurnee Smollett: We were very fortunate on “Lovecraft Country” because the whole VFX team worked so hard to create an atmosphere that was also practical in our space. I remember on Episode 3, the exorcism scene, we shot it over a course of three days and, while there was not a man in real life with a baby head on him, you’ve got the wind machines and the pictures are blowing and all the special effects makeup is being touched up. Atticus [Jonathan Majors] has pretty much turned into a rabid dog and I’m doing this spell with my ancestors and whether they were shooting behind us or shooting the elements, we were at our max capacity regardless because that’s just how we approach the craft. It was such a big sequence to shoot that that’s when the actor in you has to advocate for your instrument. I did go to the director and say, “Can you jump in and cross shoot Jonathan and I?” As an actor it is our job to shoot however many takes, however many angles you need, but then it is also our job to advocate for yourselves. And I love playing in this space because you get to use your imagination you get to go to crazy places. Because even while the practical elements are there; you get to go to crazy places. But I was grateful for the practical elements because it’s just so much easier.

Elizabeth Olsen: Did they have pre-viz so you knew what some of the supernatural elements looked like?

Smollett: With the Shoggoths they not only had a pre-viz for us, but for some of the scenes they had massive sculptures, like a dude standing there in a green suit with a Shoggoth head. The pilot we didn’t have this puppet, but by Episode 8, maybe we got more of a budget or something, but eventually we did get a puppet — which was really cool because you could see, “This is the moment his mouth is opening.” But also, Misha [Green], our showrunner, she just wants more blood, more dirt. She’d try to get them to blow spittle at us.

Olsen: That’s so gross!

Smollett: This concoction of Shoggoth spit, throwing it in front of this wind machine. I find the more practical stuff we have to work with, it just helps so much. And then there were the moments where it’s like, “No it’s just a green tennis ball and an X, and go.” How about you?

Olsen: For all those little things in the air and stuff in the ’50s, it was really important to our director [Matt Shakman] that we did everything ala “Bewitched.” It was all camera tricks, it was all wires. Our head of special effects had a lineage of a father who [did] special effects before him, and so puppetry and wire work and stuff like that were things that were already in his vocabulary, but we would have our special effect guys who are used to blowing things up and putting things on fire just balancing and making sure things aren’t swinging but they have to move. Even in the ’70s when she’s pregnant and everything’s in chaos, we really had a picture on the wall going in circles; they just figured out things with magnets.

When we were filming the finale, it was during COVID, during the fires last summer, and we shot Kathryn [Hahn’s] side at the beginning of the episode when she has my boys with her magic — we had to shoot them out because you always have to shoot the side with the kid out and also Kathryn was doing wires for the first time and of course it was with a corset and it was really hot and really bad air quality and so she had to be sent home by the medic at the end of the day. And so, on my side we were running out of days, and I think we had 35 minutes to shoot my side and my reactions to all of that, and there’s quite a bit of back and forth and throwing myself to the ground and hitting a different mark that will then stitch with the stunt double being pulled. I did a weird one-woman show sans kids, sans Kathryn. Our stand-ins were such a huge part of our show and I was so grateful to have them they’re reading lines with me, and our director, Matt Shakman, was like, “If you feel like you can’t do this, we’ll just do this tomorrow.” That gave an adrenaline rush to me and it just became, “I’m just going to do it.” There’s a lot of fear when you’re like, “Oh I don’t have the elements and I am on my own, literally.” But I’ve had to do this before and I’m just scared to do it because I feel stupid. But I already look kind of stupid — I’m shooting things out of my hands — so why don’t I just lean into it as full as possible and just do it and find it in some core, guttural space of desperation? That day was bizarre, but I was actually very happy that I didn’t put it off. I feel like sometimes as actors when there are things that make us nervous it’s like, “Oh we don’t have enough time to explore so let’s do it the next day if we can,” and then you’re in your head all night about it. And so, it’s nice to just do it, even if it feels silly.

Smollett: I’d imagine surrendering and using the fear and all that that you were feeling probably served you so well in it.

Olsen: And don’t you feel that, though? When you feel unsupported you just want to break down in tears and you’re not supposed to break down in tears or you’re not supposed to have those it’s those feelings in the moment, but there are other times where it is really useful and there’s something freeing about channeling it in some way.

Smollett: Yeah and it’s that word you just used: freeing. Being able to surrender — leap and the net will appear. And you’re right, if you would have gone home, you probably would have come back the next day and you would have overthought it. There’s something about using the adrenaline in that moment that I don’t think you can really teach an actor to do; it’s just experience. Because we go and we prep and we do all these things, and then you get to the set and there’s one distraction, two distractions, and those are the elements that just through experience you’ve learned to use.

But I have to say, when I was little, I used to go to sleep every night watching Nick at Nite and “Bewitched” was one of my favorite shows. I did not expect you guys, at all, to go to land of “Bewitched.”

Olsen: I didn’t either. I’m so grateful to it. I felt like I like forgot my body as an actor. You’re a very physical actor, so I feel like you probably don’t have that experience because you just seem so connected and free whether it’s on stage or doing action. And I really felt disconnected from my body until “WandaVision.” I was like, “Right, I have posture; I can walk; I have legs — all of these things are going to be telling the story and it’s period and so I get to move differently.” It’s been a while since I needed to create quite a different character, and it felt so good to wake up my body to the full character work.

Just watching you in the first episode on stage, I was like, “God damn, I want to feel that free on stage with a song and with an audience.” I’m a self-conscious actor when it comes to extras and things like that. There’s something about it where the crew’s the family, and with extras, I feel so vulnerable. And you seemed so at ease and in control and confident. It made you understand her fierceness and how fearless she was.

Smollett: Thank you so much! It’s so interesting that you point that out because, for me, singing in front of people terrifies me. It truly is one of the things that terrifies me the most. The thing about Misha’s writing is, she finds a way to teach you so much about a character in such a small amount of time. And in that first sequence we learn so much about Leti, from that fearlessness you talk about, the ease that she has in herself and in her person, but then you learn so much about her hypocrisy and the contrasting ideas that are at play inside. She’s a very complex one. In the scene with her sister where she’s talking about having dreams of pioneering into an all-white neighborhood in 1955, but she can’t afford to may for socks. [Laughs.] She didn’t come to her mother’s funeral, and yet she’s here yearning for some sort of family connection. And so, I just remember reading that and feeling so drawn to her and feeling like it’s a side of myself that I needed to unearth — there’s a Leti in me that I desired to actually be, but sometimes am not. And it’s interesting because through Leti, she really forced me to do so many things that I hadn’t done before and really become more fearless, become more unbound. It was just such a very cathartic experience for me.

Olsen: I felt that way with getting to do this sitcom comedy part. I felt like I was touching my childhood version of myself who was a ham doing children’s musical theater, who just who just like played for the laughs or whatever — that part that I don’t access at all, really, when filming. And Kathryn Hahn was such a force and Paul Bettany raised to the challenge, as well, of these comedic performances that were really physically funny. I started to get more comfortable — in the ’60s, ’70s, really got comfortable — and it was so much fun to touch that child that maybe was told too many times, “Oh, you’re such a ham” or you just felt like your big personality as a kid was not OK or wasn’t as appropriate. And so, getting to play with that was really freeing and very fun. As you were saying, there’s a release I needed to have, and through the comedy I was able to have it.

How did this sense of empowerment affect how you carried your own characters’ power? Was there something your character that inspired you to advocate for yourself or did advocating behind-the-scenes inform in-world behavior?

Olsen: I felt very lucky coming into this, because this is a world I know. And so, where my voice of advocacy came in was for actors who are coming into the world — like Teyonah [Parris], wanting to make sure that she had everything that she needed to understand where her character was going because this was a character that’s going to continue [and] if she had everything she needed for stunts. And then similarly with Kathryn, she didn’t realize there was someone who she could use to teach her hand gestures for her magic. And so, she was feeling nervous and lost, like, “How do I do this thing?” And I was like, “Oh, how do you not have that information!?” And then having a conversation with whom you need to on the crew up top and figure out how to keep everyone else feeling like they had everything they needed. And luckily, because this was a show with characters that Paul and I had before, the pieces came together and it was a situation where your voice is welcomed and heard.

From “Sorry For Your Loss,” the TV show I did with Facebook, I now have a producer voice that I can’t shut up. I now just need to talk to ADs a lot, and I need to talk to line producers a lot. I realize that I like having — especially if I’m No. 1 on the call sheet; if I’m a primary part — all of the information so I can understand why decisions that seem weird are happening, or else I’m going to get in my head about, “Why are we doing this this way? I just let people know that off the bat now because it makes me less of a control freak, having information. And it is a team effort and I think the actor’s value has changed in that in that respect. There’s a lot more opportunity for women to be vocal now, and so I’m just really seizing that opportunity.

Smollett: It was a very personal growing experience for me. It was time of transition [and] I’m still going through that transition in my life. In order to truly surrender and do the text justice, there was so much I had to bring to the altar every day to sacrifice. I remember talking to Jonathan about that, and he would refer to it as allowing your heart to break and hoping that the Holy Spirit would put it back together. She was essentially a woman trying to navigate her womanhood but she was never actually allowed to have a childhood. She was habitually abandoned by her mother and didn’t know her father and there’s something in that parental-daughter split that I found myself really relating to. Oddly enough like Leti, I was estranged from my father for years. He eventually passed away, really before there was that healing and so, oh man, it brought up so much shit with Leti. How does she see the world? She sees the world through the eyes of an abandoned child. With Leti, that made her overcompensate; with Jurnee, it made me shrink a lot. When you talk about that artist child, those of us who have been in this business for so long, you take on all the sensors. And I found myself just trying to love her a little more. One of the things I admired so much about Leti is this desire to love herself — this real desire to own herself unapologetically in a world that told her she was too Black and female, to exist in her entirety. It’s still a transition that I’m in, but I definitely feel so grateful to have been able to walk through some of that and navigate through some of that with Leti. But that’s, I think, the blessing and the curse of being an artist. You’ve got to be willing to bring your whole mind, body and spirit to it; nothing’s off limits.

Jurnee, the last time you spoke with Variety we were all assuming you’d get to return to this character, but now that HBO has said it’s not being renewed, do you have unfinished business with her?

Smollett: It’s no secret I’m heartbroken. I loved Leti and of course would have loved to continue playing her. But I am so incredibly proud of the work that we all created together — it feels so special and unique — and I am finding peace in that. We’re artists and there’s an endless well that dwells inside us— and there’s so much that’s out of our control. And I think I’ve done this long enough and I’ve experienced enough heartbreaks to know you don’t get attached to the results too much; you just try to stay in a moment. And I feel just so proud and blessed to have been chosen to go on this ride with these collaborators, so I am more so in the place of gratitude than loss.

On the other end of the spectrum, “WandaVision” was a limited series but Wanda Maximoff is a character you have been coming back to for years, Elizabeth. How do you approach that longevity — the changes in her, the changes in you and the interest in revisiting her at all?

Olsen: I’m 32 and I was 25 — so seven years ago — when I did the first one. There’s so much change that I’ve had, even as an actor and how I approach work and, I think, honor work so much more in the last five years, four years of my life. [Jurnee’s film] “Birds of Prey” feels like such a female-empowered thing, so I feel there’s a really incredible energy to beginning it, but then with me you hear people make comments about Marvel movies and it affects your own process. “WandaVision” really shook that up for me and made me reinvest.

Smollett: I so want to know your process with that because the comic book space was new for me. I’d been a fan; I’d seen all your movies and the other movies. How did you navigate all of those voices? Because they can be very loud.

Olsen: Luckily and also frustratingly my character was always this emotional anchor to a piece of the story. It was like the heart, if there’s a heart. Paul and I were the only romance that was really fleshed out in those movies. And so I just treated it like I would anything. And then, we have a really fun time filming “Avengers” And so it’s really goofy and the Russos are great. And so we, it feels light-hearted, and it feels like we have the last laugh at the end of the day. But when it comes to the reinvesting, that’s the whole mind game, right? Because you just hope that it continues to have this quality control, but the more the more things get made, you’re worried about that. Especially because I did a show on Facebook that was scripted, and I didn’t love the way they handled it. And it was hard. And so second season, we went back and we literally, as a team of producers, had meetings with people who ran Facebook Watch about where we thought they could improve. We had a whole presentation for them. And then eventually, they were like, “We’re not doing scripted anymore.” And so I didn’t have the greatest experience being a part of the launch of another streaming service. And so, the Disney Plus part made me nervous and then bringing these characters that are so big to television made me nervous. But Kevin Fiege explained to us that that they were not going to cut corners, and they’re going to try and create the same attention to detail, and they did. And I think it was really important for them to have that care for these first three shows that they were putting out because it was defining a new thing for them. And so, we were taken care of.

I think more for me with this with the reinvestment moving forward, I never had a six-movie or nine-movie thing; it was always two or three at a time — those were my contracts. And so, it’s always a really conscious decision. I wrapped “WandaVision” on a Wednesday and flew to London on a Friday to continue playing this part [in “Doctor Strange 2”]. I could have used getting out of the mindset, though, because they were totally different utilizations of the character and people would have had more time to understand “WandaVision” had we not just wrapped. And so there’s just a lot of, “We covered this in ‘WandaVision…’” It’s bigger than me, there’s lots of threads that are continuing on after me that I’m not aware of, and so it’s always about, “What can I get from this journey with this character that maybe I haven’t tapped into yet with her?” That’s where I keep approaching things from, so that I feel like I have some sort of strap-hang — that I can know that there’s going to be growth of some kind, even though it all maybe looks the same to other people. There is that conscious decision to learn a new element of this woman, or even of myself as an actor — something that I want to explore that I can bring to it.

Your passion for acting is apparent and you both produce as well. What about directing?

Smollett: I would love to one day. I find myself currently being incredibly excited about producing and ushering new voices and excited voices. I don’t know that I would want to direct myself — that’s a whole other skill. I remember watching Denzel Washington, who directed me in “Great Debaters” but he was also in it, and at that point he had such a command of his instrument that he was able to do that. But it’s a lot. And I remember him telling me, before directing himself, he went and made himself watch all his films just so that he could stomach this idea of watching himself in the editing room. And so, I love the idea of storytelling; I’m obsessed with just telling stories, but I don’t know that I would self-direct.

Olsen: I find myself still loving producing so much because I love asking questions and poking holes and thinking about reorganizing of storylines, things that I feel maybe need more structure. I loved writing essays in school so much; it was like something that I found creative because it was about putting so many different sources into a braid that could maybe create this larger conversation or thought at the end. And so, that’s how I look at scripts. That’s really satisfying enough for me, to play that role. I think one day I’ll think about it more honestly, what it what it would mean to be a director. I fear that if I were to do it anytime soon, I wouldn’t have the tools that I would want. I do ask lots of lens-y questions because I’ve really only been working for 11 years and only recently have I tried to really understand the art of what lenses to choose and why and what it makes an audience feel based on what you’re choosing. I want to have a better, more holistic understanding of [that] before attempting [directing] because I do think it’s such an art and just because I understand the structuring of a story or how a set works, I want to be able to provide the the image in my head. I don’t know if I have that skill yet, but I am curious about feeding it and nurturing that.

Press: Elizabeth Olsen and Jurnee Smollett Compare Notes on Genre-Blending Acting and Advocating for Performers on Set was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

#Elizabeth Olsen #WandaVision #Avengers #Scarlet Witch #Wanda Maximoff #Sorry For Your Loss #Avengers Infinity War #Avengers Age of Ultron #Captain America Civil War #Ingrid Goes West #Godzilla #Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness #Marvel #MCU #Candy Montgomery #Love and Death #Avengers Endgame

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slutsofren · 3 years

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Danger Days Chapter 8: Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

summary: finding shelter in an abandoned home, you try to keep your wits about you and care for the still unconscious Joel until some trouble comes knocking

word count: 3,792

content warnings: mention of gore and impromptu medical care, more canon-typical violence, death, murder, arrival of.... cannibals, y'know the deal hurt/comfort

notes: i didn't mention it last time but yeah, your shit really can kill you if you get your lower intestines punctured lol it's a real thing and gnarly af

read on ao3 / masterlist

You woke up in a start. Heavy breaths taking hold in your lungs. The small, barely considerable amounts of sleep were getting to you as they had been for the last month as more and more night terrors racked your brain. Rubbing at your eyes, you pushed yourself up to begin your usual routine.

It had been a couple weeks since your little group found yet another abandoned home and it took some hell of maneuvering to get Joel into the basement but it worked. The winter snow was coming in full force and it was peritive you all kept Joel as warm as possible, there were too many odds stacked against him.

Walking over to his prone body, you checked on his wounds once more as you did practically every couple of hours. He was looking worse for wear, even changing out the gauze could only do so much. Whatever small amounts of clean water the three of you had went to cleaning it out, hoping to stave off the infection.

Joel was, by all means, not doing well.

To top it off, even with your meager amount of medic training from your days with FEDRA could never prepare you for the long-term haul you were in with Joel, he was dying. The bastard was dying and you couldn’t help but feel it was your fault.

Night after night you were haunted by the image of him falling off that balcony, the sounds of his groans of pain still lingered in your head even when you were awake. It fucking sucked.

He was asleep now, he barely woke up since everything went to shit at the university then at the mall. That in and of itself felt like a lifetime ago. You put a hand against his forehead, feeling how his fever still hadn’t broken. With the chill in the air as winter was fully settling in making your fingers cold as ice, he didn’t even flinch away. You closed your eyes and sighed, still not wanting to give up. Not for Ellie, not for Tommy, not even for the grumpy man himself.

A quick glance out the small basement window told you it was nearing dusk which startled you. Ellie had left when the sun was at its peak, sometime around noon, surely. She had been gone much much longer than she normally would have.

Usually it was you who left to go hunting for food once your supplies dwindled but Ellie wanted to help relieve the burden from your shoulders and you reluctantly agreed. Yo hated to admit you needed a break. She had argued she wanted to get better with her bow and arrow and she certainly did, often bringing back animals of various sizes. It was her way of coping with potentially losing Joel, something she confided in you that was one of her biggest fears.

Thoughts of Ellie swirled your mind and you paced back and forth, chewing at your fingernails. A nasty habit you suppressed most days. A part of you wanted to go find the girl, follow Callus’ tracks in the snow. Another part of you didn’t want to leave Joel by himself.

Fuck, you thought.

Compartmentalizing you figured if she didn’t return within an hour, you’d go looking for her. If you couldn’t locate her within a mile radius, a strict rule you enforced her limited hunting zone to, you’d hunker down with Joel and wait until morning to find her and scold her for being irresponsible.

You stopped your pacing to look at Joel’s face, seeing how his face was still warped in the painful scowl he hadn’t let go of. His features were beginning to slowly become gaunt as the small amounts of food you’d been able to get him to eat the rare times a day he’d wake were coming far and few in between. Even his usual tan skin was slowly softening to a cooler shade of bronze. He looked like death.

Joel, by all means, was a handsome cowboy. Even with his patchy beard that was littered with grey hair in a few spots. Now he just looked like a ghost of himself.

Okay, fine, you admit to yourself. With Joel down, you’ve kind of missed the fool. You missed the banter and arguing with him about stupid shit. He irritated the daylights out of you because he always wanted to jump headfirst into things without a care for his safety clearly but dammit, the lack of his presence was palpable. You hated it.

You sat beside Joel, removing one of his hands from under the blanket to hold. His hands still rough and calloused, mirrors of yours if you weren’t missing a finger. Once upon a time, you remembered hearing that coma patients could sometimes hear what people said to them, that it helped. Maybe talking to him now would help not just him but you as well, to keep your mind occupied. Maybe pass the time a little. Maybe.

“Hey, it’s me, you grumpy bastard,” you started off lightly. “I don’t know if you can tell but you’ve been puttin’ that girl and I through hell and back trying to keep your ass alive.”

A hollow laugh escapes you, feeling a little more choked up than you’d ever dare to admit. Composing yourself you tried to use playful banter. “How do you do it, cowboy? Ellie is a goddamned handful. Shit, I thought I was bad when I was a teenager,” you sniff, feeling your voice waver.

“When I first laid eyes on you two, I think it would have saved me a whole lotta trouble and pain if Maria let me shoot you,” you sigh dramatically. Even though there was a smile on your lips, it didn’t reach your eyes. What did were the tears that were slowly forming. The added stress of Ellie being missing was really wearing you thin.

Amongst other things.

“Y’know,” you sniffled, “you really hurt my feelings back at the university. When you thought I led the two of you into a trap.” You took a sharp inhale. “As much shit as you and I put each other through, that was the one thing that stung. More than anything.”

You squeezed his hand and sighed, closing your eyes. Admitting that was hard, stars know you’d never say that to Joel while he was conscious nor in front of Ellie.

“Don’t die, you asshole,” you begged softly, wiping away the light tears that coated your lashes, reluctantly letting go of Joel’s hand as you tucked the blanket around him tightly.

After you said your piece, your mind became overrun with the little turd you grew fond of. The more you began to worry about Ellie, the more your thoughts swirled rapidly into worst case scenarios.

Before you worked yourself into a much deeper frenzy, a loud metallic bang echoed from upstairs. You ran up the steps and came face to face with Ellie, looking just as frantic. She raised her hand and in it, a tied white rabbit, so white it was nearly silver in the dim lighting. “I got food,” she said breathlessly.

“And,” she shoved you aside and took off to the basement, “I got this. Can it help?”

Ellie reached into her pocket and pulled out a syringe and orange bottle, she handed it to you while kneeling next to Joel as he shifted in his sleep. You were still rather shocked to see Ellie who looked faintly bloodied and tired, before you could comment on the new rifle on her shoulder, you took the bottle and were damn near milliseconds from riding into her until you read the faded label of the glass container.

Penicillin.

“Where the fuck did you get this, Ellie?”

Without waiting for her to answer, you dug in your pack and pulled out some disinfectant alcohol and a gauze pad to clean the syringe and a spot on Joel’s arm. Ellie refused to look up from where she kept her gaze focused on Joel’s face, “‘s not important.”

“If I wasn’t so mad at you right now, I’d kiss you.”

Throwing away all the questions you had for her, you administered the antibiotic as quickly as you could, he sighed as the medicine entered his body. Although, it was likely you were giving him too much, truthfully, you didn’t think it would hurt him worse than he already was.

As he relaxed underneath your hands, you looked down at his wound one last time for the evening. The haphazard stitches were taut on his stomach where the swelling was, hopefully by morning, he’d be better.

You didn’t look up from Joel as you laid into Ellie, “I don’t want excuses about where you were, only that you promise me to be more careful in the future, please.”

“Ye- yeah, I promise.”

“Good,” you covered Joel back up, “Now go get some rest. I’ll take care of the rabbit and wake you when it’s done.”

You turned your back to Ellie, it wasn’t that you wanted her to feel bad for her little disappearing act. You just needed some space to gather your thoughts. Between being Joel’s caretaker, Ellie’s temporary guardian, and keeping yourself sane, you were a wreck. You needed a moment.

Before you took a step on the stairs you paused. “Good work on getting the medicine, kiddo. Joel would be proud of you too.”

She didn’t respond as you walked away, the implication that although you were upset with her, you were still proud lingered in the air. Mindlessly, you focused on the rabbit, doing what needs to be done to cook it for dinner, pushing away those lingering worries. Ellie was safe, you reminded yourself, she came back.

It didn’t take you long to finish with your meager dinner, still pretty damn proud of Ellie’s evolving hunting skills. Maybe you’d offer to teach her a couple snares in the morning to leave out overnight. Although they tended not to gain anything bigger than a rabbit or a squirrel, something was better than nothing and you’d figure it would help Ellie focus on something other than Joel’s condition.

You bounded down the stairs, bringing the freshly cooked meat with you. A small shake to her shoulder and she was awake, “Dinner’s ready.”

Ellie didn’t bring her gaze up to look you in the eye, likely still ashamed. The two of you still sat in silence eating, occasionally looking to Joel for any changes or whenever he shifted in his sleep.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice sounding small.

“I know, Ellie. I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I was just worried.”

Once again, the silence encompassed you both like a blanket, warmer now than it was before. You broke it first, “I was thinking about teaching you a couple snares in the morning. How does that sound?”

Ellie wiped the grease from her fingers on her jeans and looked up, “I think I’d like that.”

Just like that, the two of you were on even footing. It didn’t feel right to be mad at each other, not when Joel wasn’t there to diffuse. Either way, it was much like when you were the one in between their own fight that day you’d met them, it wasn’t healthy when you all had to rely on each other for survival. At least with Ellie, she was quick to forgive and forget in the face of the larger picture. A quality you kind of admired in the young woman.

Both of you finished with your portions of the meat, saving the rest for the morning or for Joel if he wakes in the night. Simultaneously you shuffled through the remaining ammo together, doling out some spare bullets to Ellie for her shiny new rifle, still not going to ask how she acquired it. Let her have her space.

She took the bullets graciously, reloading her sidearm and long range weapons and placing them in her backpack before getting ready for sleep. You stayed fiddling with your own weapons for a few moments longer before calling it quits too.

You laid down on the opposite side of Joel, biting your lip and hoping for the best. You tossed and turned, not knowing if you could take facing Joel’s sickly frame but you also couldn’t turn your back on him and Ellie who laid on her backpack on his other side.

Please, you wished, let the medicine take.

These kinds of wishes filled your mind until you slowly drifted to a fitful night’s sleep.

By morning, you happened to find yourself shaken awake with Ellie’s face close to yours, “Wake up, I need you awake!”

You jumped up, onto your knees. “What is it,” you ask startled, afraid Joel was worse than he was when you fell asleep. Looking at Joel, he didn’t look like he deteriorated in the night, but he also didn’t look like he improved any.

“I was tracked,” she says as if that explains anything. Both of you have your hands on each other's arms in a failed attempt at communicating the other’s panic.

“What do you mean ‘tracked’, Ellie?”

“Those people I got the medicine from, David and-and James, they fucking tracked me!”

“Ellie, what the fu-.”

“Look, listen, I’m gonna draw them away. Keep an eye on Joel,” she tells you in a rush, letting go of you and bolting up the stairs, grabbing her backpack on the way out.

“Fuck,” you practically shout while getting up and looking out the window. Outside you see silhouettes of a few men, searching the nearby area. Frustrated, you kick the washing machine.

Shit, shit, shit.

You don’t know what to do, you feel tied down once again because of Joel’s condition and Ellie’s neverending saviour complex. You mumble out a few more expletives at this situation just as you see the girl bound down the street on Callus shouting for the intruder’s attention. As she rides away, you hear bullets being shot at her, getting further and further away from you.

You carelessly threw your denim coat on and opted to grab your knives instead of guns, hoping to kill anybody who came close without alerting the others. Out the basement window, you could see a few of the men still lurking about, choosing not to follow Ellie.

Just before you followed Ellie out of the house, you doubled back to Joel, kneeling forward and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “We’ll come back, I promise you Joel. Just please, don’t die on me now.” Another kiss on his warm skin and you left without stopping, barricading the basement door as if it was left unoccupied.

Everything in you wanted to panic, your muscles were screaming to fold in on yourself and heave what little food remained in your stomach but you couldn’t give in. Not when Ellie was in danger. She may have been a pain in the ass, but she was your pain in the ass.

After your conversation last night, you’d be damned if anybody hurts your girl.

Taking a deep breath, you shook your worries free and cleared your mind. Although you were a field medic by title with FEDRA back in the day, working with them turned you into a killer. It was a toxic mindset for you, even when you had joined the Fireflies, they took advantage of your ability to focus on one thing and one thing only, turning it into their own game - death.

It took years to shake off that blank emotionless part of you, even Tommy was afraid of it when he saw the horrendous things you were capable of, what the Fireflies exploited from you, but Tommy wasn’t here and the people you loved were hanging on by a thread.

It was easy to see the outlines of the few straggling men who searched the nearby homes, whatever Ellie did really pissed them off. Now, these people only pissed you off.

You stayed lurking within the shadows of the homes, even with the sun just getting ready to set, it wasn’t too difficult to stay hidden. Especially to those who weren’t familiar with the layout. It was easy to spot how the few men tended to remain within a handful of yards together, opting not to venture out into the buildings alone. Alert and yet unorganized as you could see how they would often turn their backs on each other, giving you such a delicious opportunity to sneak in and out, weaving through them and taking them down one by one.

Was it absolutely horrible this was your instinct? Maybe. But you had two people you wanted to protect, two absolutely annoying yet selfless humans who gave you hope. You did love Joel and Ellie, even if you hadn’t admitted to it yet. Besides, you had a whole lot of stress burdening your shoulders and you wanna hit something.

You watched as the small group approached one of the homes off to the left, allowing you ample room to get close without having to cross the street in the open. You took off running, not bothering to try and conceal your footprints in the snow as you got to the house besides the targets. You entered through a broken window - a common for every single house on this block. Taking lighter footsteps, you ducked by the windows and reached the second floor landing.

The homes in this area were built within close proximity to the others, making it easy for, say, somebody needing to jump between windows without being seen. Perfect.

You listened hard and close as the men shuffled and tossed things around the first floor, looking for any sign of Ellie and ‘those two people she was with’. You growled lowly, really hating the implication that these people knew about the three of you.

Taking another assessment, you noticed there were two men standing guard out the front of the house, idly walking to-and-fro, their conversation remaining on wishing they were chasing Ellie instead.

A deep breath in and you jumped with an ‘oof’, trying to make as little as noise as possible, aiming for a wide open window with a snow covered bed on the other side. Between the snow and the mattress, the noise was cushioned to only a small thud, thankfully concealed by the thuds of the men downstairs shuffling through rooms. You quickly got up and went to the doorframe and saw there was only a hallway and stairs leading down.

You took deeper breaths again, trying to center yourself for what you were about to do as you heard one person come up the stairs - alone.

Placing your body flush against the wall, you waited in stark concentration, drawing your knife from its sheath. The footsteps came close, nearing the room you were hiding in and just as an armed gunman came in, you rushed him. Putting one hand against their forehead, you pulled the other hand and dragged the knife into their throat, essentially cutting off the person from making a noise and ending their life. You pulled and lowered their body as they began to choke out, laying them on the floor gently against the wall, carelessly hiding the body.

Downstairs you could still hear shuffling of the other invader and you made your way to them, silently assessing.

From what you could tell, the other person was banging around in the basement. So you rounded a nearby corner to where the open basement door was until finally, finally, somebody came through. You took him down just the same as his buddy.

So unorganized, you thought. If they were really looking for you and Joel, they were doing a piss poor job of it.

You swiped a bottle from the kitchen as you strolled past, taking aim out a broken window. Giving it a nice little toss, it shattered against the other house and without fail, you heard the tell-tale signs of one of the other men asking ‘what was that’. You ducked behind the faded curtain until one of the targets came into view, watching how he was pensive and alert, fortunately he was by himself which made the next part just as easy.

As soon as the man walked by the window, you jumped out from your hiding spot and jabbed your hunting knife straight into the soft squishy part of his eye, surprisingly facing little to no resistance.

You pulled it back and repeated the motion again once the man made an audible noise, probably alerting his friend. In only a slight rush now, you jumped out the window and removed your blade, now stalking towards the front when you could hear the other man yell the other’s names.

Wrapping around the corner of a house in a whirlwind, you surprised the last one when you stood face-to-face with him. He looked at you, astounded, mouth agape and dropped his weapon - a handgun. Looking down at his body, he whimpered as he took in the sight of your knife now buried deep in his stomach as you yanked them up into his chest piercing his heart.

Copper scent filled the air as the hunter’s body gave out. His blood spilling down your front. Under normal circumstances you would’ve likely vomited all over yourself but considering the innate need to protect Ellie and Joel, all that shit is blown out the window.

All in all, maybe thirty minutes have passed, you wanted to check on Joel but the distant gunshots were making you worried. At the very least, the longer they went off, the longer you knew your little fighter was alive.

Okay, think, you tried to get yourself to focus. You came up with a rapid-fire plan and before you could second guess yourself, you ran. Refusing to stop. Each step in the plush snow found you closer and closer to your hideout.

Entering the home through the garage, you gave Whiskey a pat as you walked on by and headed straight for the basement. You pushed the undisturbed barricade from the door, grateful it signaled that Joel was safe. Entering the downtrodden room you grabbed your holsters, strapping them maybe a little more tightly than you should’ve and throwing your backpack over your shoulders. You double-checked your weapons, making sure they were fully loaded.

Once again, you kneeled next to Joel as he laid on the dirty mattress, huffing from the rising pain from the stitch in your side. “Joel? I’m gonna go back out and find Ellie. I’m gonna go get our girl,” you said.

You hoped you were telling the truth.

#joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller x oc #joel tlou x reader #joel tlou x you #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfic #joel tlou reader insert #the last of us reader insert #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #danger days fic #asher's writing

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corvus--rex · 3 years

Text

The first part of this is already on Ao3 as part of Julance 2021, and I wanted to throw it up here with the second (unfinished) part of the chapter. It's sleeping for now, but I really want to come back to it. If you've read the first part on Ao3, I said that Keith's a little dark at first, but that he has his reasons - those reasons come in in his part. It is an Omegaverse, with Alpha Lance and Omega Keith. As usual, please feel free to skip it if it's not your thing :)

~*~*~*~

Part 1: Sharpshooter

Unilu was an old neighborhood. One that didn’t care where you came from or where you were going. Didn’t care about dynamics. Didn’t care about where your money came from. The density of the buildings made the area dark even in the middle of the day. The stories said that Altea had been a beautiful city, light and free. That was impossible to see anymore. Daibazaal Industries had taken over long ago, running the nanny-state government from boardrooms.

This was the world Lance McClain navigated through on his way to a bar called Baku’s Den. He was supposed to be meeting up with Florona, a girl he’d been put in contact with. She had connections to a job he was interested in. Omega trafficking wasn’t an uncommon practice, but it was usually female Omegas that were targeted. Some bullshit about delicate beauty and submission he didn’t believe in. Lance’s mother was an Omega, wherever she was. He hoped she was safe; he hadn’t seen her in 8 years. But this trafficking ring was pretty new, and dealing exclusively in male Omegas. Lance had a feeling he knew why.

The Daibazaal state had mandated sterilization for all Betas and some female Omegas. Male Omegas were safe from the invasive procedure. The official reason was that there was a population issue and the city was over-crowded, and that, although unfortunate, it was necessary for even resource distribution, and the statistics showed that male Omegas were far less likely to have children. It was total bullshit. The birth rate had been dropping steadily for years. Some once-thriving neighborhoods had become ghost towns. The only reason a place like Unilu was still holding on was because they looked the other way on most things, becoming a haven of sorts for people like Lance. The Alpha had always had an innate talent for firearms of all types. It was a talent he’d honed into a finely-sharpened skill. One that he used to chip away at Daibazaal and the atrocities they allowed to go unaddressed, like this trafficking ring.

He’d left his hoverbike a few blocks away, making his way to Baku’s Den on foot. He stiffened when he caught the scent of someone coming up beside him, but relaxed when he realized he knew the Beta. It was another runner who went by Rolo. Lance and Rolo had first met when Rolo and his girlfriend Nyma took off with Lance’s hoverbike. He’d gotten it back from the Beta pair and their cyber-terrier Beezer, and they’d eventually become friends of a sort.

Rolo casually sauntered up beside the Alpha. “So, where ya headed?” he asked.

“Just drinks with a girl,” Lance answered. Meeting a contact,was the translation.

The Beta understood. “She pretty?” One of your usual contacts?

“Don’t know. Blind date a friend set up.” No, but I trust the one who set up the meeting.

“Well, good luck with that. Never can tell with some girls. Gimme a call if you need an excuse.” Watch your back. Call if you need backup.

Lance chuckled at the surface sentiment. “Sure. Thanks, man.” Will do.

“Well, I better take Beezer for a walk. Gettin’ late.” Doing a hacking run tonight, but I’ll be nearby.

“Have fun with that. Watch out for any stray cats.” Good luck. Keep an eye out for security bots.

“Eh, they’re easy to scare off.” I can get around them.

By then, they’d reached the block Baku’s Den was on. Lance nodded toward it, Rolo understanding that this was where his meeting was taking place. They parted ways, Lance headed for the bar, and Rolo disappeared around the corner. The sign hologram on the dark grey concrete building sat over the heavy steel door. The sign read Baku’s Den in a stylized typeface with a three-jawed serpent weaving through the letters. The serpent flew – swam? – through the bar’s name on a continual loop, executing a barrel roll around the name every third loop.

The interior looked very much like most other bars Lance had been to, whether meeting fixers or just relaxing. A dark concrete floor was easy to clean (and hide ingrained blood stains) after the inevitable bar fights. Dim lighting was both a blessing and a curse since it kept things more intimate, but it was also harder to spot a weapon. Booths were the same way. Made things more private, but also gave someone the chance to ambush a target. Lance’s cursory sweep was more tactical than he let show. He noted all exit points, where was best for cover, who looked the most dangerous. He also spotted his contact.

Florona sat at the edge of the booth in the back corner. She had closely cut maroon hair except for a white swath down the middle that was cut longer and swept to one side. Her gloss black cybernetic eyes had no visible sclera or iris, but he knew she was looking at him. He could see her brown leather jacket with dark red accents and skin-tight burgundy pants and heavy boots. It was also a pretty safe guess that she was armed. Just as it was a near certainty that Florona wasn’t her real name.

Lance McClain certainly wasn’t his. But when he was separated from his family at 16, he left Leandro Dávila behind. He made a new identity for himself, one that let him not stand out at all, one that let him hide. He wasn’t even sure if there was anything left of Leandro in him. Leandro had been a hopeful, optimistic child. Lance was hardened by years of fighting, jaded by harsh reality. Leandro would have been afraid of Lance. It was a smart thing to be.

Some people, like Florona, wore their cybernetics for the world to see. Implants and attachments that were blatantly obvious. Rarer were those like Lance. He’d lost his eyes after a run gone wrong. The crew he was with sold him out when they thought the other side would pay better for it. They blinded him, but even without sight, he was still able to take them out and escape. He’d called his fixer, who got him help. His cybernetics looked natural, as close to his original blue as they could get. But they were fully functional cyberware. Top of the line a few years back. Night vision, infrared, zooming, even the ability to limit the amount of light received – all linked in. By blinding him, his old crew made sure he would never be blinded again. Not too long after that, he lost his left hand. That run was successful, but Lance had gotten caught in crossfire and an unlucky shot blew out his wrist, shredding tendons and splintering bone. The new one was indistinguishable from his right, the artificial skin blending seamlessly with the organic.

Lance had no choice but to slide into the booth facing away from the door, forcing him to trust Florona with his personal safety. He nodded to her, careful not to say a word until he was seated. “Florona.” It was a statement, a greeting, a question, a confirmation.

“McClain,” she returned, “Or would you prefer Sharpshooter?”

He put on the illusion of relaxing, something he never truly did. “Lance is fine,” he said casually.

Florona’s lips twitched with an amused huff. “Alright, Lance. I’m going to order us drinks while we wait,” she said, signaling to the aqua-haired waitress.

“Waiting for what?” This wasn’t what Lance was expecting, and now he was getting nervous.

“Your partner.”

“Partner? That’s news to me. What can you tell me about them?”

The waitress came over, waiting for what she was sure would be Florona’s usual order. “Nunvil,” Florona said – no surprises there. “And bring the bottle.”

Lance whistled low. “You go hard.”

Florona raised a perfect eyebrow. “And you don’t?”

“Never said I didn’t. So, what about this partner?”

She leaned back, throwing an arm over the back of the booth. “Best fuckin’ swordsman I’ve ever seen. Stealth type. He’s got this one blade – let’s just say I never want to be on the wrong side of it.”

The waitress returned setting unopened bottle and a pair of glasses on the table. When she left, Florona made a show of breaking the seal on the bottle. She poured both glasses, and Lance idly played with the rim of his.

“What’s so special about this blade?” he asked. He was genuinely curious, but made sure she didn’t know that.

“Ultraviolet hard-light. Keeps it maglocked to a sheath on his back. Bio-activated so no one but him can use it. I got to see what happens when someone tried to take it once. Wasn’t pretty. New guy tried to hit on him. Pretty forcefully, but he didn’t know what he was in for.”

Interesting information. This mysterious partner of his was a known factor here. Lance wasn’t sure if Florona had mentioned that part to remind him that he was an outsider in Unilu or if she just considered it part of the story.

“I should tell you what to expect from him before he gets here. You're an Alpha, and he may take offense to that. He’s an Omega, and a lifetime of bad experiences makes him resent Alphas on sight.”

“That’s fair,” he said, and finally picked up his glass. He actually enjoyed the silky burn as it went down. “Anything else I should know?”

“Don’t piss him off. He’s not likely to actually kill you, but the threat will be there.”

“Anything else that’s not vague and threatening?” Lance asked, draining his glass.

“Mm, nope.” Florona refilled both their glasses, and Lance saw the tiniest movement of her looking to the bar. “Except that he’s coming over. Better get ready, he’s an experience.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2: Samurai

Keith stashed his heavily modified hoverbike in an alley barely a block away from Baku’s Den, activating the chameleon hologram that would keep it out of sight. He was familiar with both the Unilu neighborhood in general and Baku’s Den in particular, and knew to be cautious. It wasn’t just the relative lawlessness of the area that kept his guard up. Nowhere was truly safe for a male Omega in Altea. Not anymore, not with the disappearances that he now knew were a major Omega trafficking ring.

Knowing that the upper echelons of Altean society were buying and selling male Omegas like prized pets made his blood boil. It was assumed they were being taken as breeders, to be used to give the city’s elite heirs until their bodies gave out. But Keith had seen the kinds of things that happened to Omegas, male or female. Breeding was only part of it. He was lucky that he hadn’t been taken, but he’d freed more than a few who were in similar situations. Kidnapped or given away to Alphas, and even Betas, and abused into being the “perfect” Omega. It varied depending on the human garbage controlling the Omega. Docile, submissive servants, hypersexualized walking sex toys, psychologically broken breeding stock for their Alphas, and that was the better end. He’d seen Omegas so physically, emotionally, mentally broken that there was no saving them. Death was a welcome rest for them, but not for the abusers. He felt nothing for them as people when he put them down, only a sense of relief that they would never harm another Omega.

Keith was mainly a runner specializing in stealth and close combat. Taking out low-level Omega trafficking was what he did between runs. If working opposite Daibazaal Industries and its only subsidiary, Galra Technologies, was what amounted to Keith’s day job, his vigilante justice for trafficked and abused Omegas was his passion project. It was what made him jump at the chance to at least help bring down the biggest trafficking ring the city had ever seen. He didn’t know Florona well, but he trusted her boss Luxia, and she was the one who first had the intel for the run being offered.

The exterior of Baku’s Den was its usual façade of calm, as much as a high-class dive bar could be. Keith knew as well as anyone that a fight could break out at any time and for any reason. Just walking in made him uneasy, especially when he opened the door to a loud argument in progress between members of a runner team he’d seen there before. Almost subconsciously, his hand went toward the hard-light blade he kept sheathed on his lower back at all times. The near-fight ended with raucous laughter and a call for another round of drinks. He dropped his hand with a relieved sigh and made his way to the bar, intentionally catching Florona’s eye on the way.

“Keith! Haven’t seen you in a while,” Luxia greeted him.

“Yeah, been busy,” he answered, “Just finished another run last night. Anything I should know about this guy before I head over?”

She shrugged. “Experienced runner. Long-range firearms specialist. Got a couple cybernetics, but nothing obvious.” Luxia knew Keith’s preferred drink, and set the glass of SilveRing down in front of him, the dim lighting of the bar illuminating the juniberry-distilled, deep magenta alcohol from within and highlighting the silvery ring settled around the perimeter of the liquid surface. “Just so you know, he’s an Alpha, but I can tell he’s not just in it for the money. Don’t know what his deal is with that, but he seemed legitimately pissed at the idea of Omegas being trafficked.”

“Good to know. He’s still an Alpha.” Keith finished his drink, Luxia refilling it without a word. “Well, better head over there. Run’s more important than some Alpha.

~*~*~*~

Links to the rest of the series:

1 | 2 | 3* | 4 | 5* | 6* | 7 | 8 | 9* | 10 | 11 | 12* | 13 | 14 | 15* | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19* | 20* | 21*

#my writing #abandoned wips #keith kogane #lance mcclain #alpha lance mcclain #omega keith kogane #klance #keith x lance #abo #omegaverse #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender

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