Happy first anniversary to my Dazai Goosamu AU! It has been one year since I made the edits that officially kickstarted this madness!!
I finally finished this tiny needle-felted guy and took him outside for a small photoshoot as celebration! 🦢
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i love the mountain goats songs that are about how something bad is about to happen but it’s not happening yet, or maybe it’s already happening and you’re just riding out the joy you’ve found in a place where bad things can’t touch you. that’s just life innit
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i still think about the day
i read that poem out loud to the class.
the teacher said
choose a poem from this book
and read it
and put in emotion and bring it to life.
i chose a poem
the most beautiful of all
and waited impatiently for my turn.
expecting to be praised as always.
when i stood in front of the class
i was nervous, but i felt good.
the poem was long and i kept reading
the ball rang and i kept reading.
no one said anything, so i didn't stop.
when i finished, i wasn't aware of any mistake.
it was only when my teacher thanked me
that this feeling started to cave in:
thank you, you chose a lovely poem.
i left the classroom
and this feeling kept growing.
i did something wrong, of course.
replaying the situation in my head
i understood too late.
they didn't want me to read for that long
or i didn't read it well enough.
probably one because of the other.
and that's the worst part: not that i wasn't good
for once. but that i didn't get it.
that i kept going, thinking they liked me
unaware of the obvious cues.
no, that's not the worst part.
it was a good poem, they liked the poem in itself.
they just didn't like the way i read it -
i ruined a beautiful thing.
simply by touching it
simply by giving all that i was
because the truth is:
not that i wasn't good enough
it's that i'm something that will never be liked.
i still think about the day
i read that poem out loud to the class.
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valentine's day was MADE for bitches like me i just spent 4.5 hours (just counting today) making my friends personalized notes for tomorrow to hand out after my classes... this bitch has SO much love to her (it's me)
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