#i aint an emo mess for nothing
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a love post
here we go. now that i am extremely emotional and thankgul for my beloved friends that i made here i decided to write yall a little something something so that you all will now how grateful i am for you.
DISCLAIMER: it might be cheesy and gross but that is how i am, also the mentions are not in order cause i love you all the same!
@photosynthesizingparkhyungsik my moof my love my first ever friend on this site. i still remember the time when we were yelling at each other for being in the same fucking timezones [yet here we are not able to skype lol]. man those were crazy times werent they? anyway now that we are so deep down with them friendship i am really glad we decided to message each other. i want to thank you for always listening and dealing with my late fucking ass replies you are clearly a gem that i dont deserve i love you
@wonhosjaan ummmm the actual love of my life? hello :( there is no one that loves mehreen as much as i do so jot that down. thank you for talking to me, you are literally the best wonho stan i have ever met :( you are so sweet and kind and thank you for taking care of me and yelling with me about wonho. and also for making me watch his vlives to ruin and save my life at the same time. you are literally the best present in my life what did i do to deserves such an amazing person like you? :((( i love you so much and you know i am only soft because of you.
ps.: lets not forget to make our dream date once okay i will go to london just for you i love you
@limechangkyun CRISTINA!!!! my ghost friend my emo partner in crime :( i love you but you probs know that already cause it is a love post after all. i am glad we get to witness each other’s procrastination at their finest [read: exam season] damn... why are we like this......... also i hope one day we get to visit each other cause we could go to an all time low concert together or a monsta x one and i could tell changkyun to date you because honestly? goals, my ship should sail i have only good intentions
@jewishtransboy Jas, first of all i want to tell you how proud i am to be able to tell you i am your friend? like omg i am so happy and proud of you, you can’t even imagine. your snaps? my fave thing in the day pretty much. YOU SLAY THOSE OUTFITS BOY AND YOU SLAY MY EXISTENCE WOW I LOVE YOU OKAY???
also can i just add that i am glad u sinned yourself into exo with me cause it makes me happy that i am not alone. also let us be thankful for lananh to connecting the wholesome threesome bless
@ukihyunnie umm lananh? my queen? my lover? wow??? i am just a fan of yours really and i am so happy i got to be friends with you. like literally the day we started talking should be an international holiday. you are the funniest i have ever met, my meme queen, and you are so lovely you deserve all the love tbh, and i never lie when i say that you are my bias wrecker honestly. and thanks for being a trash with me for kiho you are the one who saves me during these dark days
@yteen oh so hi my child hello well you will probs see this and go like ew reyka is back with some emo shit and damn u are so right? so in all honesty thank you for talking to me and always listening. you are my lil squish that i want to shelter and protect for the rest of my life. thank u for blessing me with your selfies like damn legendary? iconic? never done before? an actual angel as your name would suggest. there is many things that i am thankful for and one of them is bap but like??? thank you for being here honestly wow you are so great i love you
@chanxyeollie aluri wow you know i have missed you a lot so now that that is out of the way I LOVE YOU and thank you for being here and telling me how you are. i am always looking forward for your long messages telling me about whatever crazy thing has happened to you and like you make me laugh so much in public ppl are staring and i am like i haVE FRIENDS STOP IT so yea. and like i hope you know that a kpop concert with you is still on my bucket list that is the only thing that matters to me aight
@sunprincehyuck so taki i know we havent talked in ages and you will probably not see this post cause school and stuff but i am really worried about you? honestly i miss you a lot i hope you are fine :/ and just so you know i love you with all of my heart and i hope we can talk sometime cause i miss you like crazy :(((( i actually got this idea from you because you are so lovely? and nice and wow i dont deserve you
@ purple anon - so like clearly i don’t know your acc name for reasons but i wanted to mention you in this. thank you fore messaging me your messages lightened up my days and i miss you and i appreicate you like a whole lot i hope we can talk again soon and i hope you are feeling well and keep being hydrated and stress less get some vitamins and keep on smiling i love you :(
@letmeknow-tomorrow here we are you lil shit you ready for my emo ass? so like 10 years heh? what a waste. OKAY YOU KNOW I AM JOKING BUT I COULDNT LET THIS OPPURTINITY SLIP FROM MY BARE HANDS LIKE SAND. so yeah i am happy we started talking when we were two fetus. this is one hell of a ride. we had our ups and downs. we spent a lot of time together and a lot of time seperate but we are still going strong. it almost like nothing has changed ever since we befriended each other. i think this is how having a soulmate would feel like? but that is really cheesy let me not say that ew. anyway thank you for dragging me down into this kpop mess and honestly in many other messes cause without you i would be NOWHERE honestly. you were always there for me and supported me and my dreams and my ideas that were never born because of my procrastinating ass but- you know them so that is fine. [if you know it the whole world knows it cause you are my world bro] literally i could sit here all day and never be able to finish why i love you so much and why i am so thankful for you so i will stop now but so you know i miss you and i can’t wait to meet you again
#pls ignore my emo ass#i hope tags will work cause i am ready to fight tumblr#i aint an emo mess for nothing#i really want to make a follow forever but i want to reach 500 first so like all my other mutuals: i love you lot#amazing mutuals#love post#réka says shit#💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#i am all hearts for you my friends#purple anon#cause maybe you wont see it otherwise
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Hiii I don’t know if your taking request and if your not it’s fine you can totally ignore this lol :P but if you are can you do the trend of the pretty best friends with maybe Akaashi, Bokuto, and kuroo 🙈 by the way I loved the way you write the characters
how they blind react to the audio “i ain’t never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly” from tiktok + find the first part here
kuroo:
man doing this to kuroo would be so funny
cs we know he lowkey prideful
so this would “”potentially”” hurt his ego
at least when it comes to you
cs this bitch hates losing to you no matter what
like he’s not like this to kenma usually
and u tell him its bc kenma is his favorite bestie
then he’s all like: noo ahaha who said i like kenma more than u? ahah who sed that cut the cameras
then proceeds to baby and pamper kenma right in front u
smh kuroo we were friends first
ANYWAY SO
just like oikawa, he likes inviting himself to your tiktoks, selfies, etc u know the drill
so roping him in your tiktok would be easy breezy
you set up ur camera and pretend you were getting ready to dance to that fishing pole reel it in tiktok
(also prior to this u told him abt wanting to do that tiktok w him)
and just like you predicted it, kuroo is now magically next to you smirking and shit at the camera
pulling a debby ryan yes king pop off
then the audio plays: “i aint never seen two pretty best friends. always one of them gotta be ugly”
KUROO NEVER LOOKED SO OFFENDED IN HIS LIFE
kuroo goes :O like you did something so scandalous in front of him
even if the camera didnt hear his voice, its still kinda obvious that he said “chibi chan~”
now its ur turn to gasp
mf smirks at your reaction and picks you up like a sack of potatoes and throws you over his shoulder
all of that caught in camera
and right when he was gonna throw you on the bed the camera stops recording
y’all blow up overnight ;)))
the comments: “they gotta be more than friends!!”
“sis i’ll be his best friend if u don’t want to be his bestie anymore”
kodzuken: so y’all a thing now or-
bonus: what actually happened is kuroo tickled u and showed no mercy nor remorse </33
bokuto:
ahh yes bokuto
bokuto beam besties !!!!!
ft. a very very tired akaashi
you pull this shit to mess with the team
perks being the other fukurodani manager
(this is why konoha lowkey hates u but its okay queen u lowkey hate him too (as a joke))
ANYWAYS
so managers have to settle things right before practice starts right
after helping yukie and kaori, y’all had extra time
this is when u call bokuto in
“bokuto lets film a tiktok real quick!” you call out to ur bestie who was with akaashi and konoha
bokuto immediately dips on them and runs to you
“what are we dancing to today?”
we know this bitch can dance lets not lie to ourselves rn
u tell him u want to do that hit the quan remix trend on tiktok and he agrees
mf even knows the step already so uh anywayz
this is the part where brokuto gets bamboozled
you click record and bokuto starts rubbing his hands together like hes about to throw that ass back and start dancing religiously
til the audio plays
“i aint never seen two pretty best friends always one of them gotta be ugly”
so that played throughout the gym
konoha and akaashi stop talking and turned their attention to you and bokuto
the realization settles in and bokuto frowns
and everyone in the gym thinks his emo mode is about to work up and they’re all about to run to him
before bokuto lets out a big cackle
“you’re so funny sometimes, y/n” bokuto wipes a tear from his eyes from laughing so much
bokuto suddenly goes quiet til mf starts chasing you around the gym
“BOKUTO IM SORRY” you screeched as you ran for your life
“nOPE! IF I CATCH YOU IT MEANS YOURE THE UGLY BEST FRIEND” he retorts, catching up on you
in the end the video caught u guys running around the gym
konoha took this as a chance to repost your video with the caption “what a dumbass”
akaashi:
akaashi and this tiktok huh.....
do u know who u’re doing this to ??????
like akaashi???
akaashi keiji ?????????????????????????????????
this audio and akaashi just dont get along at all... like ... UGLY???
all in all im p sure this thing would backfire
and im not even joking luv xoxo
ANYWAY SO
you do this at home bc ... u dont want to embarauz urself doing this at school cs what if someone saw u calling THE akaashi ugly
so yeah u have this thing w akaashi where y’all just chill at ur respective homes for no reason at all
#bestietingz
and since akaashi is a genuinely nice guy and is a rlly rlly close friend of urs, he wont say no to ur vague requests <3
“keiji let’s do a tiktok together” you shake his arm as the mf reads a fucking book
“hmm okay” he hums, putting the book down
not forgetting to bookmark the page ! bookmark king ! knows his shit ok im getting sidetracked
you set ur phone down and angle it right
akaashi just does the bread face :] respecting ur viewers!
even if ur viewers r just the fukorodani team at best... maybe even some nekoma students bUT THATS NOT THE POINT HERE
ur trying so hard not to laugh and its so painfully obvious ur hiding something like akaashi is alr dreading cs he doesnt know what ur planning
so u press record and the audio rolls in
“i aint never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly”
it turns to an awkward silence after that
cs akaashi didnt rlly know how to react
like he knows this shit is corny and just..... he cant even describe it oh god
and ur like looking at him for a reaction
hes just there like: :] ......
LIKE YOU TWO R ALREADY MAKING EYE CONTACT
AND UR LIKE COVERING UR MOUTH TRYING NOT TO LAUGH UR LIKE
“DO U GET IT??”
and akaashi is like: “yes i do :]”
AND UR LIKE: THEN WHATS UP WITH THIS REACTION
then he’s all like: “nothing. i know you’re not ugly and u shouldn’t let that meme define who you are because you are beautiful”
like a mf poet making ur heart melt
u put a closed caption thingie mabober before u post it cs u wanted to let ppl know who or how tf ur bestie acts and damn right hes right !!! ur not ugly neither is he !!!
the comments when u posted it are all asking for his contact information and the just like
“SIS I WANT HIM”
“WHATS HIS @??”
even bokuto commented like: THATS MY AKAASHI RIGHT THERE !!!!
and kuroo responds with: u cant win over him bro
and then bokuto replies again with: DUDE
#reqs#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#kuroo x reader#kuroo imagines#kuroo headcanons#bokuto x reader#bokuto imagines#akaashi x reader#akaashi imagines#akaashi headcanons#bokuto headcanons#ans
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If Easy were to do karaoke, what do you think their favorite songs to sing would be? (You can answer for as many or as few of the boys as you want, obviously, or you could just do the Company in general. I don’t really care I just find the idea of Easy + karaoke to be very entertaining) :)
CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING
EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY
CAN'T YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST
I WANT THIS TO LAST
NEED YOU BY MY SIDE
Singing that song means Karaoke night has officially begun.
It's very debatable what each Easy boy's go to song is but I know Buck prefers Dancing Queen by ABBA complete with dance moves.
And then when they're feeling emo and nostalgic it's Welcome to the Black Parade and Sugar, We're Going Down. Malarkey usually leads those.
If we're including Filipino karaoke songs (are any of ya'll tired of my Filipino-influenced headcanons yet-- too bad, bc as a Filipino you know Karaoke is in my blood, so you're going to have to bear with a few more) Stupid Love is definitely up there for Skip, Penk, and George to sing. Everybody joins in for the chorus.
But also Aegis. The image of a drunk Ronald Speirs belting HETO AKO, BASANG BASA SA ULAAAAANNNN makes me smile all the time.
Total Eclipse of the Heart, definitely. Anybody can sing that, of course, but it is always a rule that 1) everybody not holding the mic is second voice and must sing "Turn Around" as loudly and as wildly as possible, and; 2) when you sing 'turn around' you better turn the fuck around. Interpretative dance is part of Easy Karaoke night. It's tradition!
Pat is totally that choir kid with a great voice who's like "no, I can't sing I can't sing, no don't make me sing-- but oh if you insist" and then proceeds to go up there to SLAY Beyonce's Love on Top. Yes, the whole song.
If they get a little sentimental Time After Time is definitely on the list. Taylor Swift too, but only the Speak Now era + maybe All Too Well. If one of them's gone through a break up. Maybe.
Also WHY DO YOU BUILD ME UP BUTTERCUP BABY JUST TO LET ME DOWN AND MESS ME AROUND
Tab, for some unknown reason, goes for Disney songs. It would be embarrassing if everybody wasn't singing along. A Whole New World is a crowd favorite. Let It Go was, too, but it's since lost popularity.
Web, of course. Broadway Showtunes.
Lieb, being the old man he is, sings Africa by Toto. Unironically.
And of course Toye. I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday definitely.
Lew goes for Hotel California or something more melancholy. Like Aubrey by Bread.
If you get Carwood to have a go it's Love of My Life by Queen. That would usually mark the almost-end of the night, and then they close with, of course, Bohemian Rhapsody because how could you do a Karaoke session without Bohemian Rhapsody?
edit: WAIT I FORGOT
TELL ME WHY (AINT NOTHING BUT A HEART ACHE)
TELL ME WHY (AINT NOTHING BUT A MISTAKE)
OH TELL ME WHY
I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY
THAT I WANT IT THAT WAY
But with the officer OT5. Dick and Lip get dragged into it but have a blast nevertheless.
#ask#bob hcs#band of brothers#easy company#this is heavily influenced by my own filipino experience of karaoke#sorry not sorry
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So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction):
1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish.
2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.
3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.
4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.
5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.
6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.
That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:
Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.
THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?
I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao.
I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.
THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR
NVM ITS GONE
WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.
Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though.
I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?
Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.
The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?
Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.
I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW.
Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.
THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO.
Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase.
ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE.
SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.
NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.
Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.
INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.
SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.
this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ?
omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.
exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH
edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie
I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.
THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.
I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.
ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.
jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie
why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.
i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need?
why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?
jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.
how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.
why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.
these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out
i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo
fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me
i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess
belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris
THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.
why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.
CHARLIES DESEVRS BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO
reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue
he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone
he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward
EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT LOVE LIK THST
LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING.
im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru
i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou.
WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR
edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.
wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win
MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED
now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this
jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better
now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese
mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake
this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war
victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch
og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc
i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree
oshit is the volutire
SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE
CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL
I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN
JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES
I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO
I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE
THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE
poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself
WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY
KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE
fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough
that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love
#Twilight#Twilight renaissance#drunk twilight#drunken twilight#twilight while drunk#twilight review#eclipse#eclipse review#eclipse while drunk#drunken eclipse#simp ass hoes fandom#simp ass hoes
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for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D
delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon:
200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)
199: I was born in: 2003
198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself
197: My cellphone company is: Apple
194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.
193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″
192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of
191: My 1st car was: 94 Station Wagon, by request
190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig
189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby
188: My bed is: “made”
187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image
186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro
185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4 xbox
183: Piggy banks are: really useful
182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight
181: On my calendar: i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow
180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!
179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme
178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can.
177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)
176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno
175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count
174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!
172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while
171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major
170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: Nope.
168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered
167: Fate: To an extent
166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho
165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah
164: Heaven: Yes
163: Hell: Yes
162: God: Yeup
161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago
160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with
159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know
158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.
157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...
156: Orbs: ??? energies are real
155: Magic: vibes are real
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs
153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: irdc but black hair bc i am Emo
150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye
149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
145: Night or Day: night
144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)
143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate
140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes
139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi
136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama
135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin
134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst
131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done
127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday
125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some
124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)
123: Yankees or Red Sox: what
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already
121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?
120: Gay Marriage: be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah
119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself
118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby
117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad
116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this
115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy.
114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )
113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books
112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif
111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?
110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.
109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so
108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly
107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me
106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition.
105: My family: disgusting
104: The future: the future doesn’t exist
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this
102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed
100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying
99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out
98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons
97: Swam in a pool: last week
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude
93: Broke a bone: never, somehow
92: Got a peircing: nope
91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow
90: Texted: just now
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat
87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence
85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has
84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here.
83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini
80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band?
79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother
76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy
74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)
73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring
72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way
71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer
70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me
69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog
68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them
66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie
65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)
64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them
63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie
62: My School: is trash but the band pops off
61: My Car: old, fast, clean
60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad
59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six
58: Your hair color is: blonde
57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec
56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube
55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well.
52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told
51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.
50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc
49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO
48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?
47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”
46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson
41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.
40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet
39: I would like to move to: new zealand
38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: nerds
36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt
35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard
34: State visited: california
33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk
32: Athlete: what is sport
31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies
30: Actress: i do not consume media
29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon
28: Band: fall out boy
27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)
26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man
25: TV show: supernatural...
24: Movie: big hero 6
23: Website: tumblr or youtube
22: Animal: snow leopard
21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast
20: Holiday: christmas
19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow
18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)
17: Magazine: i do not condume media
16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book
15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey
14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience
13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega
12: Thing to cook: pancakes
11: Food: pizza or shushi
10: Restaurant: chiplote
9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station
8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc
7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it
6: Flower: Hydrangea
5: Color: orange
4: Talk show host: cecil palmer
3: Comedian: john maulaney
2: Dog breed: yes
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)
That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D
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Just Say Goodnight and Go (M)
Messy Chapter 7
Pairing(s): OC X Johnny
Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, The fluff chapter TM
Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.
Warnings: alcohol, night terrors/ panic attacks, minimal talk about assault.
Features: body worship, choking/breathing denial, talk about oral fixation, thigh high kink, a bunch of makeout sessions, a little bit of a handjob, still exploring the daddy kink a bit, overstretching, rough sex and semi-soft sex, really bad drunk decisions.
Word Count: around 17.6k
A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose. I didn’t exactly hit 20k like I thought but I was damn close lol. Note: In case you don’t know Rilakkuma is a Japanese character (like Hello Kitty) but from the brand San-X. This chapter has got a bunch of fluff in it, but ya’ll know fluff aint my usual thing that I write about. So tell me if it was good or bad please.
Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories
“What do people like….do on dates?”
“Eri, what the hell kind of question is that? You act like you never been on one before.” Quinn said before squinting in the mirror to viciously measure if their eyeliner wings were even.
“Like i mean...i have but also i'm antisocial and some if the best times i've had with people were just like hanging out and doing nothing. Like Yuta and i just lay around and watch anime-”
“While he fingers you.”
“Lucas and I play video games.”
“Until his attention span goes to eating you out.”
I huffed. “Listen…”
“You went out on dates with Jungwoo, didn't you?”
“Yeah but we would like go to parks during the spring and walk around, or he'd follow me around the mall and blush if I so much as mentioned going to look at underwear in a store. We went to an aquarium solely because i just wanted to hear him say the word in his adorable accent all day. But those are things that I did when like…” i sighed and set my eyeshadow brush down. “When I was in love.”
“And you're not in love with Johnny?”
“Johnny's a fuckboy. You really think he'd hold my hand and push me on a swing set at the park? Please. He's gonna take one look at these thigh highs and want to fuck as soon as we start this so called date and that's a-ok with me.”
“Eri, you're a bad liar.”
“You're the one who suggested going on a stupid date with Jaehyun! What do you two do all the time when you hang out anyway, hmm?”
Quinn squinted again, glaring at their uneven ink line before handing the eyeliner pen to me. “Fix itttttttt.” they whined. I sighed and grabbed a makeup wipe to try and clean up some of the unevenness before filling it out with the ink again. “But we honestly fuck a lot. Like a lot a lot. He heard about Taeil helping me study and wanted to help too but instead of being NICE he fingered me and wouldn't let me cum until i got an answer right-which is very hard when his stupid hot long fingers are digging inside you. Then one time I decided to cook for him, because i'm perfect wifey material and he lasted a whole minute of helping me in the kitchen before he was grabbing at my ass.”
“Great, a bigger slut. So why the hell did you come up with this boba date idea in the first place?!” I painted on the small wings in short strokes, connecting it to the already thickened lined that covered Quinn's lashline.
They shrugged, which made me purse my lips and glare down at them for moving. “I don't know. I basically said, Jaehyun you're taking me to get Boba and then I thought it'd be nice for you to come along because you’re maybe-kinda- sorta-my security blanket. Then i realized i asked him out on a date without meaning for it to sound like a date and then i gay panicked and asked you to come but that only made it a DOUBLE DATE and then i had to pretend that everything was natural and I-”
“Quinn. I should stab you in the eye with this pen.”
“I CANT HELP IT! Sometimes he's really stupid and cute and i hate his fuckin’ perfect teeth and perfect smile and those STUPID dimples. I want to punch his face but also kiss him endlessly. I especially hate it when he's like...nice and not a complete asshole because it just makes me want to be around him more!” They sighed.
I finished correcting the wing on their other eye and plopped back down in my desk chair. “I know what you mean...after the party Johnny and I spent the entire night together and it was definitely a journey. I found out things about him that i never could even imagine happening to someone like him. And it just...it made me sad. All i wanted to do was see him happy. I wanted to make him happy.”
“What do you mean? What happened to him?”
“I shouldn't tell you…” i whispered.
“Eri, we're best friends.”
“Yeah but...he's starting to trust me and I don't want to mess that up.”
“I wouldn't ever tell anyone. You know that.”
I fidgeted in my seat as i felt my morals be compromised a bit. Quinn was my best friend that I told practically everything to but Johnny was my...fuckbuddy who had gone through enough for a lifetime and needed someone who would be there for him. I still yearned to be that someone and wanted to solidify my place as a friend he could count on. I knew Quinn wouldn't tell a soul so I was sure the secret was safe but it still made me feel a bit uneasy. “I...i...don't know…”
“Was it about that chick at the party? The like weird looking one that was all over him?”
I nodded then grabbed their little hands, squeezing them tight. “Just swear on our friendship you won't ever say anything. Not even to Jae.”
“I swear.”
“Ok...and don't think or treat of him any different. Go on hating him like normal. It's ok.”
“Yes, Eri, I will. I swear.”
“She...that girl...assaulted him while he was coming down from a bad high and was sick. And you know, he's a big dude. He's tall and muscular and shit- everyone would think he'd be able to fight her off but he can only remember bits and pieces because he was so messed up. Then he described to me how he felt like...how he felt so numb and helpless. It was hard for him…”
“Eri, the same has happened to me. Why would you think I would tell anyone about this?”
“I know,” i practically whimpered. “I didn't mean it like that. I just...i kinda care about him now. I want to be there for him but without making stuff too complicated. I honestly just think he needs someone he can rely on.”
“But then you fell in love with him.”
“I'm going to need you and Doyoung to stop saying that. Are you two conspiring against me?”
“It's just a bit obvious to people that aren't only here to fuck you.” Quinn kissed me gently and returned my little hand squeeze. “It's good that you're there for him. He needs it. I wish we could've been friends sooner so you would've been there for me. You have a good ability to be a pillar of strength for people. But don't let that consume you either. He needs to get through it on his own too.”
“I know. I want him to but this is where the stubborn fuck boy part still remains and makes me want to throw his giant ass across the room.”
“Yeah, he's still stupid about a lot of things but any step towards healing is progress.”
I pouted and gave myself another glance in the mirror before adding more smokiness to my outer crease. “Yeah, I know. It's still fresh though so I can't rush him. I just need to make sure it doesn't get too messy.”
“And also make sure he somehow becomes your boyfriend?”
“WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?! WHY DON'T YOU GO BE JAE'S BOYFRIEND, YA LIL TURD.”
“Eww no. I don't want to be near his stupid abs and dimples and perfect teeth and soft hair all day. Absolutely not.”
We both glared at each other for a moment. Our weak facades to our feelings were no match for one another and we couldread each other like open books. Things were getting to be a little bit too serious for the both of us and I may have admitted it to myself during my talk with Doyoung but there was no way in hell that I was ever going to say that I had feelings for Johnny out loud. I hoped that I would eventually get over him enough to just keep things casual. I was sure my fear of love was the perfect blockade for that. Nothing could get past that impenetrable wall. So i felt safe for now. Quinn nudged me, breaking our glaring contest and making us both laugh.
“How did we end up like this?” I asked.
“Like what? Stringing along a bunch of hot guys waiting to do whatever we want them to do? Pure talent. We're amazing. And i am making them pay for the boba.”
“Well duh. If they don't we can just throw them out and solidify our relationship with Lucas. I mean he has everything they have anyway: big dick, deep voice, nice lips, can reach things on the top shelf. It's all we need.” I added a final touch of setting spray and wiped at the powder fallout that covered the top of my boobs. “Oh, by the way, do I look ok in this?”
I stood up so Quinn could see my black ensemble of a Simple Plan t-shirt I had since I was 15, a suspender skirt, black thigh highs and matching high-top converses. They squinted and looked me up and down, even making me turn for them. “It's okay.” They stated simply.
“Ok? What do you mean ok? Do I look fat or something?”
“No it's just...i mean it's very you.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“Like very...high school emo. But your hair and makeup is really cute and he'll like the thigh highs. What are you wearing underneath?”
“Underneath?” I hadn't given much thought to my underwear. “I just picked whatever was in my drawer.”
“Well do you want to entice him a bit?”
I shrugged. “I guess a little. Really make this date worthwhile since i'm sure he's gonna be a jerk about the whole thing. I’m not even sure why he agreed to go.”
“Duh,” Quinn said. “Because he likes you. If he isn't a shitty date then you can give him a little something. And if he is, don't show him at all. I have a cute white lace set you'd look good in. You should wear that.”
“Wear lingerie the entire time? That underwire is gonna kill me.”
“You know I hate bras as much as you do but it'll be cute. Trust me.” Quinn got up from my bed and went over to their room leaving me to follow. When they pulled out the set from their drawer I almost couldn't believe how small it was.
“Uh...you want me to put all of my ass in that?”
“Didn't you say he likes your butt? With this and the thigh highs you can ask him to eat you out and i bet he finally would.”
“Oh...right.” I took the small underwear and bra and started to change into them, not bothering to bring up his previous trauma surrounding oral. It was just easier not going into more into detail about it. I slithered out of my old underwear and into the lace panties which seemed to morph into a thong between my ass cheeks. I adjusted myself over and over in the bra, trying to stuff myself into the seemingly small cups. “Should I really look this desperate? I mean we've fucked like half a dozen times before.”
“It's not desperate! Just trust me. Do that whole femdom thing you do and feel sexy. It may make you feel less nervous if you just pretend you have confidence.”
“Pfft, i doubt it.” I pulled my shirt back over my head, practically feeling my tits at my throat. I stepped over to Quinn's full length mirror and adjusted myself over and over again. Feigning confidence I could do sometimes but alcohol was a lot more helpful with that.
“Will you stop fussing? You're making me more nervous than I already am. We have to be cool sluts not….stupid schoolgirls!” Quinn hissed.
“Yeah, well….i am a stupid schoolgirl and I hate it! I don't want it Quinn!”
“It's just boba! We got this! It's not like-” Suddenly we heard three sharp raps against our door. Our mouths snapped shut and panic washed over us. We looked at each other as if we didn't know what to do. “You do it.” They whispered.
“No, no! You! It was your idea that got us into this mess in the first place!” I planted my hands on their back and forced then towards the door. “Go!”
“You come with me! What are you gonna do?Just stay in here?!”
“Yes! And maybe die alone so i don't have to be embarrassed!” A few more knocks came again and Quinn and I fussed with our hair, our clothes, checking our breaths and if we had things in our teeth. Eventually we stood in front of the door, squaring our shoulders and pretending like everything was totally fine. I was the one who set my hand on the door handle, swinging it open to see my worst nightmare.
The four of us stared at one another like lost children, wide eyed and scared. It was so strange seeing them dressed up that it was like a shock to the system. I was used to the Johnny in sweatpants or basketball shorts and hoodies but now he was...God, he was stunning. Everything; from his hair, his lips, his eyes behind the round wire frames he wore, and his incredibly perfect long legs trapped in his torn up skinny jeans. I hated to admit it-absolutely loathed it- but he looked like complete boyfriend material; so soft and cozy yet still oozing sexiness and a little bit of mystery. I especially loved the leather jacket that hung over him. It made me want to throw myself into his arms and get lost in a sea of his kisses. My heart was fluttering, pathetically so, and it was almost impossible to breathe.
I saw his eyes travel up and down my body, stopping at certain places he wanted to linger a bit longer on. I waited nervously for him to say something, anything at all. He seemed to be stuck, his eyes fluctuating through thought processes and possible scenarios. I nibbled at my lip and casually looked over and Quinn and Jae. Jae looked quite handsome himself; a soft sweet rendition of a guy i didn't quite like and was surprised to see like this. He looked comfy in his hoodie and jacket combo. A warm beanie was perched on his head and his light wash jeans were a perfect compliment. His dimples were on full display along with his perfect teeth Quinn so happily gushed about. I could see them already swooning over him, and probably thinking of a way to get into his pants.
“You look,” My eyes cut back to Johnny as I heard his deep voice finally. “You look um...c-cute.” The olive tone of his skin flared with peachy pinks as soon as that word left his lips.
Cute.
This fuckboy thought I was cute. My heart was in my shoes, a melted puddle of teenage passion and urgency for romance. I giggled nervously and stared down at our feet, noticing his checkered vans and my black converses. “U-um...thank you. I think you look really handsome.” I tucked a stray hair back and gazed up at him. His expression was nothing short of flustered and he cleared his throat to break up the awkwardness.
“Are we just gonna stand here looking like idiots or are we gonna go? I need coffee.” He said.
Jaehyun broke from leaning against the doorframe and boldly took Quinn's hand. “Yeah, let's go. Johnny, you driving or am i?”
Johnny tossed his keys over to Jae who caught them with his free hand. “I'll just drive when we come back.”
Jae and Quinn started heading downstairs, leaving me to rush to get my purse and lock the door behind me. The minuscule walk down to the parking lot of the apartment complex was enough to keep the awkward silence between Johnny and I. I had no idea what I should say or if we should even strike up a conversation at all. I realized that i really didn't know much about him other than his traumatic past and insecurities surrounding it. It seemed trivial but even something like learning his favorite color was starting to become appealing to me. “So…”
He looked back at me from midway down the steps. “So?”
“Boba, huh?” I wish i couldn't speak.
“Yes? Boba?” He seemed just as confused as I was and i rushed to sprint the rest of the way to the car. It didn't take him long to catch up and we were in the back seat and on our way in practically seconds. I kept to my side of the seat against the door, leaving a gaping space between us. Quinn and Jae seemed lost in their own conversation that seemed as natural as the moon controlling the tides. I almost envied them. When the hell did they get so buddy buddy? I briefly looked over at Johnny who seemed to be more interested in gazing out the window then having any interaction with me. I shifted uncomfortably and slid one leg over the other. I adjusted my skirt a bit, trying to make sure I remained decent but it was just a little too short even for me.
I thought I felt Johnny's eyes on me but when i turned to glance at him, he was back to being distracted by the scenery outside his eyes. I checked my phone, trying to use it as a way to ignore my self deprecating and nervous thoughts as well as to make the time go by. It wasn't until Jae cut a harsh turn that I was sent flying from my sacred spot and into Johnny.
“Dude, chill with that!” Johnny reprimanded.
“My bad! Stupid GPS said it at the last second!” Jae replied.
I tried squirming away from Johnny but Jae's lead foot on the gas pedal was making it harder to adjust myself. I felt Johnny's hand grip at my waist almost as if he wanted to keep me close to him. “You okay?” He said in a hushed tone.
I nodded and tried not to look at the warm hazel of his eyes. “I guess your roommate is fuckin’ speed racer.”
“Yeah, he's not the best driver. He only got his license last year.”
I sat up, finally able to regain my balance when Jae's speeding evened out. I inched myself away from Johnny but found his strength keeping me plastered to him. His arm shifted from my waist to around my shoulders, leaving plenty of opportunity for my head to rest on his chest. I looked up at him but he still avoided me at all cost. Tentatively, i laid against him. I could hear the quick beats of his heart and couldn't help but wonder if he was nervous too.
What did we have to be nervous about? Getting to actually know each other? Hadn't we done that? Did he even want to learn about me? I guess it would be better to just keep it about sex even with him confiding in me. It would add layers to our fun and could attribute more to the fun we had in our fuck buddy relationship. But my heart remained in a place of wishful thinking and i was pleading for it to stop fucking with my rationality.
I tried to focus on the physicality of it all instead and I was trying to convince myself that a simple hookup was the main goal for today. Get good food, good Boba, and good dick. That would be all. Maybe the date (or fake date, whatever you wanted to call it) wouldn't last long and I could just go home and curl up in my room and stuff all my feelings away under lock and key. I sighed and pulled myself away from being stuck in my brain for a moment. I happened to notice the woodsy notes of his cologne while my head remained tucked under his chin. I craned my lips up to his neck, giving his warm skin a sheepish peck. The scent was of course stronger here and almost sent my head spinning.
Johnny finally looked at me for longer than a few seconds but he didn't say anything at first. He returned my neck kiss with a small press to my lips, giving my shoulder a small squeeze. I decided to speak and hoped that I wouldn't retreat back to my state of being a bumbling idiot. “You smell good.” Well….i could have definitely said something worse.
He chuckled lowly. “Yeah? You like it?” He kissed me again and my hand trailed upwards to cup his face. I simply nodded and closed my eyes, preferring to get lost in him than back in my own thoughts and feelings. I felt his long fingers fall to my knee, trailing higher and barely grazing over the top of my thigh highs where he stopped suddenly. There was tension within him now and i swore I could almost hear a low growl fall on my tongue. “Eri.” He said in a voice so stern my thighs clenched together in response.
“Yes?” I asked, rather innocently.
“You...you wore this on purpose, didn't you?”
“I have no idea what you're talking about.” I played innocently.
He sat back and scoffed, an unsurprised look on his face. I covered my mouth in an attempt to hide my giggle. “You're gonna get your little ass beat.” He whispered.
“Is that a threat or a promise, daddy?” I teased. He nudged me instantly, wide eyed and afraid that Jae or Quinn had heard me.
“Shut up!”
I giggled again turning into full blown laughter at his embarrassment. It was kind of cute to tease him like that even though during the thick of it I would be the more embarrassed one. Quinn turned around then, curious as ever. “What are you laughing at?”
Johnny and I both stiffened up as if we were being scolded in the back seat. My laugh died down a bit and I was able to finally talk. “N-nothing!” I squeaked.
Johnny fussed with his glasses and nervously pushed back his hair, not even acknowledging Quinn. They squinted, judging us and still wondering what had made me laugh. They didn't get to pry any further as Jae pulled into the parking lot of the small cafe. Johnny was the first to get out, not even bothering to wait for us. He just stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and headed towards the cafe door. I pouted, annoyed that he didn't even have the courtesy to wait for us. Jae was the one that held the door open for Quinn and I, leaving me to scowl at Johnny. He ignored me and headed towards the line, towering over the few people ahead of him. I stood by his side, looking over the menu, while Jae and Quinn joined the line behind us.
As I was debating over Rosehip or Lavender flavors I felt a brush against my hand. I thought it may have been an accident but suddenly Johnny’s pinky was curled around mine. I glanced down, making sure I wasn't imagining it and was pleasantly surprised. I smiled for a second until I heard Jae whisper a teasing, “gayyyyy” while Quinn poked at my side. I swatted their hand away and shot both of them a glare which only made Quinn giggle again. The line moved then and Johnny and I stepped forward. He finally spoke to me.
“Do you know what you want?”
“i can't decide between the Lavender or Rosehip one. Both are yummy. Maybe Rosehip and Strawberry? Wait, no, Lavender Vanilla.”
He crinkled his nose in disgust at my flavor choices. “Well, figure it out. We're next.”
“Hush! I know that!” I pouted. He moved up again and discarded my pinky in favor of grabbing his wallet out of his pocket. He ordered a coffee flavor then looked at me.
“Go.”
“Oh, right...uh...” I still had no idea what I wanted and panicked as I felt like I was holding up the line.
“Just order.” I shuffled my weight on either foot while finally deciding on the Rosehip Strawberry with bursting bubbles. I watched as he paid for us then stepped off to the side to wait for the drinks to be completed. “Wanna get a table?”
I nodded. “U-um...thanks for the…”
He looked at me for awhile to the point where I got a bit uncomfortable before kissing me on the cheek. “It's whatever. Go sit down.”
I touched the warm spot of my cheek where his lips had been and scurried away trying not to show my giddiness. Why was I acting so stupid over him? I plopped down at a table, sighing to myself as the others ordered and waited for the drinks. It was only a few more minutes before Johnny joined me, sliding the cup and big straw my way. We stood quiet as we stabbed our straws into the plastic, sipping slowly and glancing at our phones. I didn't know how to talk to him about normal stuff really and was sure I was going to continuously make a fool out of myself.
“So….what's your favorite color?”
He looked at me questioningly. “What?”
“Your favorite color...sorry, i'm just trying to make conversation.”
“Oh...blue. What's yours? Black?” He chuckled then took a sip of his tea.
“Pastel pink.”
He choked a bit then chewed through the pearls. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yes, why is that hard to believe? I happen to be a multifaceted person that likes a bunch of things. I like cute things, video games, anime, comics, a whole bunch of nerd crap. I'm not just a stereotype.”
“Well, do you still think I'm a stereotype?”
I sucked in air through my teeth before propping my chin in the palm of my hand. “Sometimes you can be. You're stubborn and hard headed and a jerk most of the time but sometimes you can be….cute.” I diverted my attention to my drink again, hoping that my compliment didn't make things more awkward.
“What's so cute about me?” He asked. His eyes were focused right on me now as if he truly wanted to know.
“Oh well...physically of personality wise?”
“You tell me, princess.”
I pouted at my title. I guess he was returning my tease from earlier. “Well, i like that you trust me. I like that you're willing to try things with me. I think your photography is nice and i’m glad you have a passion. I think that it's cute when you spoon me or hold my pinky like you do.”
His face brightened to a heavy rose color and he straightened up as soon as Jae and Quinn came to the table. Jae tossed the car keys onto the table and sat down beside Quinn, rather than across from one another like Johnny and I were. They barely seemed to pay attention to us or their drinks and instead got wrapped up in their own little world full of intense kisses. Johnny and I face palmed at the same time.
“Were in public.” I groaned. “Cut it out.”
“Don't ruin our fun just because you two are weird and awkward.” Jae said.
“If ya'll were just gonna make out why did we even come out here? I could've stayed home.” Johnny interjected.
“I still wanted bubble tea. And we can get food later. I'm just a bit preoccupied now.” Quinn said.
I rolled my eyes and diverted my attention back to my phone which was a better sight than our best friends sucking the soul out of one another.
Im ready to die why are they like this
I texted Johnny.
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: we should just ditch them tbh
Omg, we cant. They rode with us. How would they get back?
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: who cares lmao
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: they can figure it out later
Be nice. Theyre still our friends
But would you care if I got some food after this? Im starving
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: fuck yeah. Where do you wanna go babe?
I smiled and looked up at him. He glanced up at me and returned my smile before nodding back at his phone, waiting for me to answer. Somehow texting made the both of us more comfortable than talking face to face. Blame it on on our generations addiction to technology or rather our crippling social anxiety.
Not to be weeb trash but there’s a japanese book store around here and it’s over by a bakery and a restaurant. I go there all the time. They have the best fried chicken
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: lets do it then
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: btw i watched naruto so i know anime
I couldn’t help the snort that got coupled with my laughter. I covered my mouth when i noticed the gross sound which made Johnny laugh too.
Oh my god, stop right there. I can’t believe you just said that!!!
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: I still remember like half of the opening songs
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: dont make me serenade you
There is nothing more I want in this world than you to sing fighting dreamers while squawking like a parrot
Literally nothing would turn me on more johnathan
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: lol, bet. You’re gonna get just that tonight
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: also you know my name is just john right lol
Not anymore. You’re forever johnathan
😂😂😂😂😂
Johnathan’s cute. I like johnathan
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: i like johnny. I have like 4 different names and thats the least fucking complicated one
I know what you mean, i have too many names too and I hate all of them.
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: there’s more than just Eri?
Way more unfortunately. My 1st name has 12 letters in it
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: wtf lol
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: what is it?
Never telling. Ever. its a dead name to me. Im just eri
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: boooo ur no fun
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: i’ll tell you my korean name if you tell me your full name
Absolutely not. If i tell you i’ll have to kill you. Thats the rule
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: does quinn know it?
Don’t bring them into this. Quinn knows a lot of things about me that must never be spoken of
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: ahh so you ARE a serial killer then
Shhhhhhh dont let anyone know.
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: i dont think i can hide the fact that youre a serial killer eri lol
I can hide you
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: why do I have a weird feeling that was your attempt at flirting with me
Please ignore me i dont know how to have actual normal conversations
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: apparently we can only have them about traumatic experiences and kinks
Thats basically the basis of a successful relationship duh
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: relationship?
You know what i mean
💕💕Big Dick Daddy💕💕: do i?
I looked up at him as he was casually sipping and waiting for my response. Before i could say something or even think of what to say, the chair screeched back and Quinn stood up suddenly. “I'm gonna go to the bathroom, i'll be right back.” They announced.
I shrugged. “Oh...alright. We'll be here.” I watched them walk off towards the restrooms in the back of the cafe and saw that Jae was doing the same.
“I gotta piss too..” He left then too, following Quinn in a half jog, and i wanted to scream. Really? Right now? Right in front of my boba? I rolled my eyes and sighed.
“They're going to go fuck.” I said, when he was out of ear shot.
Johnny looked back at the direction of the bathrooms then back at me. “Time to get food then.” He stood up and grabbed the keys from the center of the table. “Come on.”
“Wait, no we really shouldn't!” I protested. “I'd feel bad if we left them here.”
“Do you feel bad that they ditched us to fuck in the bathroom?”
“Well….maybe not so much.”
“Than come on.”
I grabbed my drink and followed after Johnny as he headed back to the car. We got in and I directed him to the bookstore, our conversation still at a minimum. After we arrived, he resumed holding my pinky and following me as i strung him along to look at stationery and the large collection of manga on the upper floor. I wanted to buy everything and practically cried when I saw my fave series or even a figure that i was desperate to have. Johnny seemed to get a kick out of every time I geeked out and listened patiently when I explained something to him like an overly excited teenager. He even told me about some of the anime’s he used to watch as a kid, a few we had in common.
I took him down another row of filled shelves looking for a specific title I had in mind. This section was only filled with the Japanese prints making Johnny question my intentions. "You can't read Japanese. Don't they have English ones?"
"Mhm," i nodded as i bent over slightly searching for the right volume. "It's for Yuta. He's collecting My Hero Academia right now. I wanted to see if they had the next volume he needs."
"Hm." He scoffed. "Yuta."
"There's nothing wrong with looking for something for a friend."
"Never said there was. It's whatever."
I finally found the volume and snapped a quick picture of it to send to Yuta and asked him to come back down here when he had time. I started searching for another series he had in mind of starting when i felt something creep up my thigh. Johnny was behind me now, his fingers just barely under my skirt and rubbing across the band of my thigh highs. I straightened up and swatted at him. "Quit being a perv!" He smirked and set a kiss on my lips holding it long enough for me to worry about our PDA. "Dont make us like Quinn and Jae!" I whispered harshly.
"Sorry, i won't. I just needed it."
"Needed a kiss?"
He shrugged and kissed me again, this time quicker before he moved away from me and disappeared to another aisle leaving me to stay flustered. I grumbled and switched to find the English volumes of the manga section but got distracted by a rack of Rilakkuma plushies. The adorable teddy bear was one of my vices and I had spent more than I needed too on a few of the plushies here. There was one in particular that I didn't have that shone like a beacon of light in the sea of others. I crushed the plushie to my chest, happy at how soft and perfectly squishable it was. I looked at the price tag and winced, setting my dream plush down and retreating to the manga which i could afford.
I wasted almost a half hour mulling over which series I should buy- one i was close to finishing or another I had always wanted to collect. I sighed and picked the cheaper option, which still made me happy. I needed a new job asap but it was slim pickings in this stupid college town and the surrounding areas. I was flipping through the volume in my hand when Johnny appeared beside me, startling me.
"Hey, not to be a buzzkill but I'm hungry as fuck. Would you care if we went to go eat now?"
"Oh yeah! Sorry, i was reading through some of the volumes and got distracted with deciding what I wanted. We can go." I noticed he had a bag in his hand as he had apparently bought something. "Found something you liked?"
He simply nodded and i tried to sneak a peek to see what it was. He yanked the bag away and held it high above his head where he knew he couldn't reach. "Don't be nosey. Go pay for your stuff." He kissed the top of my head and I pouted before walking to the register and paying. The restaurant wasn't too far from the bookstore so we took the scenic route, walking hand in hand. I loved the way his fingers engulfed mine and made my entire hand disappear. I gave him a few squeezes to guide him in a new direction until we arrived. I pulled the door open for us and kept our hands entwined as we went to the line to order again.
Almost a half hour later we were still eating and actually laughing and having a flowing conversation. His laugh was so charmingly awkward that it resembled music to my ears. I could listen to him talk all day when he was passionate about something, his little lisp becoming more adorable to me by the second. I watched every motion his mouth made, falling into my secret oral fixation and noticing everything i found attractive- his overbite, his lisp again, his tongue reaching out to lick his lips, the small hiss he made as he sucked in air through his teeth when he was trying to think of something, and every once in awhile when he would sink his teeth into his bottom lip. He quirked an eyebrow at me, stopping mid sentence.
"What are you looking at?"
I snapped myself out of my daydream like state. "N-nothing, i'm just listening to you."
"I feel like you're staring, you weirdo." He chucked the balled up straw wrapper at me and i returned with my napkin ammo.
"I was not staring! I was just interested in what you were saying but now you're just being a jerk."
"I am not, whiny princess. I could just tell. Do i have something stuck in my teeth? Sauce on my face?"
I shook my head. "Nope, you're all clean."
He nudged his foot against my leg from beneath the table. "Then tell meeee."
"You'll laugh at me!"
"I'll always laugh at you but it's all in good fun."
I sighed and set my hands on my forehead, making a visor of my fingers and trying to block him from looking at me directly. "It's just a thing i have with mouths, ok?"
"Fuck, was i chewing too loud or something?"
I shook my head. "No it wasn't really when you were eating food it was more like when you were talking and stuff. It's just...a thing I have."
"I don't get it…"
"It's like a….like a fixation, ok? Can we move on before i embarrass myself more?"
"Fixation? Is this like a kink thing again?" He asked.
"No...a little. But not really I suppose. Just stuff I find attractive that draws me in i guess."
"So you just like notice stuff I do with my mouth?"
I set my head on the table wondering why i couldn't be a normal human being who didn't make a fool of themselves when they were with a boy they liked (read: loved). "Y-yeah…"
"So what did you notice, i'm curious. Is this more stuff that you think is cute about me? Hmm?"
"Yes...for the most part."
"Then tell me."
I sighed again and kept my voice low. "I watched you chew on your fork while you were talking. And i like your lisp."
"Please no."
I looked up at him and he was covering his mouth instantly. Great. Now i freaked him out for good. "'M sorry." I grumbled.
"I hate my lisp, it's the worst. Why do you even think it's cute?"
I shrugged. "I dont know. Maybe because i think you're cute. Maybe because i like how it adds to your accent. Maybe i'm just extra weird."
"You're the first person to ever tell me that, you know."
"I figured as much. I don't mention it often because it weirds people out. So, again, i'm sorry."
He chucked the napkin back at me making me look up at him. "What you think is weird is your normal. And hell yeah i think you're weird but you're interesting too. You keep me guessing and I never have any idea what you’re gonna say or make me feel next.” Johnny looked down at the small amount of food he had left and poked at it with his fork, taking his turn to avoid looking at me.
“Correct me if i’m wrong but are you being nice to me, Johnathan?”
“Don’t be gross.” He laughed. “You’re cute too, i guess.”
“Thanks, i’m flattered.” I rolled my eyes playfully and stood up. “I’ll be back, I’m gonna use the bathroom.”
“Sure, you don’t want me to come with you?” He joked.
“Please don’t. I actually have to pee.” I nudged his head as I walked by him and headed towards the bathroom. I checked my phone to see if Quinn had texted me or noticed that we were gone. There was nothing but an excited text from Yuta along with a kissy face selfie. I responded to him and finished up quickly before returning back to the table. I stopped when I was about to sit down as i was face to face with the Rilakkuma plush I had wanted back at the bookstore. “What did you do?”
Johnny shrugged. “I saw you looking at it so...i don’t know. I thought you might want it.”
“You...you didn’t have to…” I whispered. I was practically speechless and couldn’t even move. I just kept staring at it. I had never once expected him to do anything like this for me. This made everything absolutely worse. Not only did I have feelings for him but now he was being adorable and sweet and thoughtful. What a fuckin’ asshole! This was the last thing I needed from someone who only saw me as a fuck buddy. It was also going to mess with my head and my heart more and I was a total glutton for punishment. What the hell was I going to do with myself?
“Do you like it? You’re looking at it like it’s a bomb.”
I finally sat down and swiftly took the plush off the table and held it in my lap. “Thank you.”
“It’s not problem. I got a keychain too. One where he’s sleeping.”
“You got a Rilakkuma keychain?” I asked, stunned.
He unclipped it from his belt loop and held it up for me to see. “Yeah, why not? I liked it.”
“I just...didn’t peg you for a guy that would buy a stuffed animal for himself.”
“It kinda reminds me of you.”
We both looked at each other not sure of what had transpired. We were frozen in place and I could almost hear my heart thundering between my ears. I squeezed onto one of the plush ears trying to stabilize my anxious thoughts. Johnny swallowed hard and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but a loud vibration of his phone on the table scared us both. I saw that it was Jae calling and Johnny picked it up.
“Dude, where the fuck are you!?’ I could hear him yelling through the phone.
“We left. We weren’t going to wait for you two to finish fucking and being gross.”
“Come back here and get us!”
“No way. You guys can find your own way home. Eri and I are going back to her place and then we’re gonna fuck.”
“Shut up!” I whispered harshly. “We can just go pick them up. It’s not big deal.”
Johnny shook his head at me, holding the phone a bit aways from his ear as Jae continued to yell. “No way in hell.” He mouthed at me.
I kicked at him under the table and gave him a stern look. “Go back.”
“They don’t deserve it.” Johnny hung up on his best friend and got up from the table. “C’mon. Let’s get going.” He grabbed our trays and tossed the garbage in the trash while i gathered my plush and purse.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that? We’re never going to hear the end of it.”
“And? It’s time for us to have our own fun now. Don’t worry about them.” He pulled me close to him and kissed me. “You ready?”
I knew it was wrong to leave Quinn and Jae behind butttt a part of me was still annoyed that they ditched us to go fuck. At least Johnny and I were going to hook up in the sanctity of my apartment and not in the middle of hanging out with friends. Besides, I did want to spend some alone time with him now. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have some fun of our own. “Yeah, I’m ready Johnny.”
--
“Jesus, it's cold in here!” I said as i opened the door to my apartment. “I'm gonna get a blanket for us if you wanna find something to watch.”
“Sure.” Johnny shrugged and kicked off his shoes as he sat down on the couch. I went to my room and tossed my purse and plush on my bed before gathering my fleece blanket. I nudged my own shoes off and made my way back to the couch, barely being able to see with the blanket balled up in my face. Just as i was hoping that i wouldn't trip, my foot caught onto Johnny's vans and i almost landed face first on the floor. He caught me instantly though and I was plenty grateful. Knowing my luck i would’ve slammed my head on the side of the coffee table. “And you think I’m clumsy.”
“Shush!” I said, pawing at his hands on my waist. “You shouldn't have left your clown shoes in the way!” He forced me to face him, my body poised between his legs and hands firmly on my hips. “What?”
He remained silent and gently eased me forward as he relaxed back into the couch. I got the message and crawled into his lap, straddling him. His lips busied themselves with pressing tender kisses to my neck while his hands crawled along my thighs. The gentle actions were enough to make me shiver just a bit. I pushed his hair back gently and took his wire frames between my fingers, pulling them away from his face. He blinked a few times as if his eyes had to readjust. I reclined back to set them onto the coffee table before returning my attention to him. “Well…” I began. “Here we are.”
“I've been wanting to fuck you all day you know that?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, i get it. The thigh highs. You're a slut.” I pouted. “I kinda...maybe…” I lowered my voice to just above a whisper. “I didn't mind hanging out with you today. I had a really nice time.” I was already kicking myself but i couldn't bare to hide my disappointment of my own true feelings. I did have fun with him. He made me laugh, genuinely laugh, and feel good. And the Rilakkuma he bought me would be something I cherished for a long time. I liked our date but I couldn't ask him out again, especially if he just wanted to fuck. Of course, that was my intention at the beginning as well but as usual I got caught up in trivial things that made me feel like I was actually important to someone.
“O-oh…” he said as if he wasn't even sure how to respond. I kept my gaze casted downward as my fingers twiddled away at a stray thread hanging from his shirt. “I mean...it was like cool and all I guess.”
He guessed. It stung. It really did. Even after the hand holding, kissing, and buying me things I was still nothing. But at least I knew what i was good for with him. “Yeah...Do you wanna….just get to watching stuff?”
He set his curled index finger beneath my chin and raised my head. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing's wrong, I'm fine.” I pushed his hand away and went to crawl off his lap but he instantly seized my waist again.
“Eri.” I hated the way his voice sounded when he was stern and reprimanding. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and had my whole body melting into gooey mess.
“What?” I grunted.
“Tell me.”
“It’s nothing! I just thought you-it's stupid just forget about it.”
“Eri.” There it was again. Still after all these months his voice still drew me back in. I rolled my eyes and practically whined, despising that he was trying to make me talk about how i felt when he was the king of emotional suppression. It just wasn’t fair.
I tugged on the loose thread again, pulling it from the shirt completely. “I thought maybe you would've liked our date...the hang out thing I mean.”
“What makes you think i didn't?”
“You just said ‘it was cool and all i guess’. It sounds like you didn’t give a shit about it at all…”
“You want me to care about a date?”
“Yes! Wait, no! No, i do not.”
He raised a brow and squinted his eyes in confusion. “You don't?”
“I just- will you let me go? I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. Let's just fuck and get it over with.” I tried prying at his hands but he still wouldn't let me go, even when I started squirming.
“Eri.”
“Stop saying my name like that!” I snapped. I was failing at making it look like he wasn’t capable of making me lose my sanity.
“Say it like what?”
“Like all….UGH! You're frustrating!”
“I think you're frustrating yourself.” He chuckled which made my entire face heat up.
“I am not! I don't care if you don't care about the date but was it even a date like i had a really good time but you didn't and now i feel all weird and i don't wanna feel weird but i do and you're just here just not caring and i don't know! Ok?! I don't know!” I rambled in one breath.
“Shut up, you idiot.” He cupped my face in his hands, practically engulfing my entire head before pulling me to his lips. He was right of course. I was frustrating myself and letting my emotions mix with my anxiety to create this brutal concoction of frustration and confusion. I wanted to push him away so i could breathe and probably run away yet he was taking his sweet time as if he needed every caress of my lips. “I did have a good time.” He licked at the soft fullness of them before landing another kiss “A really good time. Why are you worried that I didn't?”
“Fuck if i know.” I whimpered. “You're fucking with my head.”
“Welcome to my world.” He pushed my hair away from my neck and planted kisses along my jugular. “Also do you not like it when i say your name?” His breath was dangerously close to my ear, his words a whisper that made my fingers dig into his shoulders harder.
“You were saying it all...harsh and commanding.”
“Did it scare you? I didn't mean to.”
I shook my head. “N-no. It um...actually turned me on.”
“Oh.” He pulled away from me. “Is it...like part of the daddy thing? Am i doing a good job? I really didn't notice.” He was blushing now but a small smile was creeping onto his lips as if he was proud of himself.
I returned the smile, my head feeling just a bit clearer. My ability to overthink everything was annoying when it swallowed my entire thought process. But his words were comforting enough to encourage me to breath and relax against him. “Yeah, you did a good job. You know you're kind of already a bit dominant right?”
“Uh really? I just thought I was being normal.”
“Remember your normal isn't the same as everyone else's. You just didn't notice or it seemed natural to you. It works. I also kinda like how growly you get.”
“Growly? I notice i do do that sometimes. I d-dont really mean to…” he said softly.
“Do it more often. Like a lot more often but don't force it. I like it when you do it when you’re fucking me from behind.”
“Wow uh, well ok.” He laughed nervously and darted his eyes away from me. “I will um...try and keep that in mind. For next time.”
“Now, you mean?” I set my hands on his chest and rubbed at the firm muscles beneath his shirt.
“Well...y-yeah, i guess.”
“It was your idea. Thigh highs remember.”
His gaze went back to my thighs instantly. “How could i fucking forget.” He slid his hands under my skirt and grabbed at my ass roughly. “What else do you have underneath here?”
“Do you think i'm going to show you that easily?” I smirked.
“You will. Get up.”
I ignored him and instead buried my face in his neck to give him small bites and licks. He didn't seemed too pleased with that as he landed a harsh smack to my ass, making me hiss. "F-fuck...jerk."
"Get up, Eri."
I shimmed off him and stood between his legs as he resumed his reclined position and rested his arms across the back of the couch. Slowly, i unzipped the back of my skirt, pulling away the suspenders and letting it fall to the floor. I pulled my shirt over my head, adjusting my hair once it was free and let him drink in the small fitting lingerie set. His eyes widened and his adam's apple bobbed within the tightness of his throat.
"What?" I started covering myself, suddenly becoming self conscious.
"W-wow…" was all he said.
"Wow, what?"
"Sorry, you just look…" he licked his lips and opened his legs a little wider. "You look hot."
"O-oh...” Was all I really managed to say. He took my hips in his hands again, pulling me gently to sit on the couch beside him. He caressed every inch of me while his lips crept closer to mine until they melted together. I trailed my hands beneath his shirt rubbing the softness of his stomach and begging to get it off so I could drink in his perfect body. Instead, he ignored my prying hands and pushed me down gently. I slipped one of the pillows that always resided on the couch behind my head while Johnny settled himself between my thighs. He focused his attention in trailing hot open mouth kisses and bites over my chest and winding down my stomach. Every bite was coupled with a soothing lick and a small whimper from me. I edged my hips up towards his mouth wanting him to mark my favorite spots. He dodged pleasing the place I wanted the most and grabbed a hold of my right thigh. He lifted my leg up to meet his lips and spent minutes on end kissing and rubbing every inch of it. I relaxed into his touches, feeling myself heat up at all the attention. “If this is how you’re gonna act every time I wear thigh highs then I’ll wear them more often.” I teased.
His eyes flickered up towards me but he remained silent. His lips went back to my inner thigh, kissing down to hover over my center, his bangs gently masking his face. I nibbled my lip nervously, wondering exactly what he was thinking and planning. The kiss was swift, pressed just above my clit and gone in an instant. I didn't ask him for more. That little act was enough progress for him and I couldn't help but feel a little bit proud. I smiled as I petted his hair back, whispering praises about how good he was making me feel. Again, he said nothing, seeming to be completely focused on giving the same attention to my left leg. His fingers danced across the soft fabric on my calf as his lips remained heated and eager. When he reached my ankle, he sat back on his knees and I heard the soft zip of his pants coming undone. He pulled off his button up, followed by his undershirt, yanking it up by the the collar and leaving them both by his shoes.
I pulled him close to me so we were flush together and wasted no time feeling the strong muscles in his arms. We locked eyes for a moment, smiling at one another before diving head first into another heated session of push and pull of our tongues. His hand rested over my neck, alternating between adding and releasing pressure while his hips ground into my budding wetness. I squeezed my legs around him, finding it a bit difficult to work around the minimal space we had on the couch. He didn't seem to care though and he was perfectly content with keeping his big body against me. I took in every degree of his warmth, grateful as i was about to be stark naked in a cold apartment.
"Take them off." I whispered between a kiss and suck to my tongue. I pulled at the nearest belt loop my fingers could reach. He let out a breathy sigh and worked them off. I could already see how filled out his boxer briefs were. The fabric was straining around him, barely keeping him in place. "Did my thigh highs turn you on that much?"
He didn't answer and instead buried his face in my neck while his hands worked my panties down around my ankles. After, he pulled my hand between us, setting it over his hardness. His breath cradled my ear in a plea. "Touch me." He whispered. My free hand dug into his hair while the other pulled the waistband down and set him free. He seemed thankful to finally get a bit of relief and the beautiful moan that he let out when i wrapped my hand around him was enough to almost make me cum right there. I shuddered a bit as that noise tickled my nerves and sent me into a fit of desperate hormones ready to take in every single inch of him.
He was already leaking so much that i could coat his sensitive skin with smooth glides and gentle squeezes. His teeth sunk into my collarbone, pinching my skin between the perfect rows and adding tenderness to the area. I flexed my fingers around his head, focusing rough pulls there as he started rutting his hips. He matched my pumps almost perfectly, shuddering curse words and vocal approvals into my skin. I eased his cock closer and he shifted his hips to press against my lower lips. My eyes fluttered closed as he rocked himself through my slickness. I circled my hips each time the tip of his cock flowed over my clit and ignited my lustful greed for him. A stiffer groan bubbled in his throat as he grabbed my hips firmly, keeping me steady so he could control all the movements. That small bit of control made me squirm beneath him, impatiently wanting to feel more of his fire fueled veins ride through my lips.
My thighs trembled ever so slightly, feeling the ridge of his head tease my clit once more. I let out a small mewl and felt as the mellow rocks of his hips slowed so he could press himself against my entrance. “W-wait, Johnny.” I pleaded.
“Hm?” He stopped entirely, waiting for me.
“We should use a...ya know.”
“What for? We’ve already done it without one.”
“Yeah but I don’t want to make a habit out of it. I’d rather be safe than sorry, ok?”
He sighed and bowed his head before getting up from the couch. “They’re in that box still, right?”
“Yeah.” I said softly. He wasn’t going to guilt me into fucking him again without a condom. I didn’t play that, no matter how good it felt only a week ago (or how much I kept thinking about it for that matter). While I waited for him to return I slipped my hand between my thighs, coating myself in my wetness and pressing two fingers inside. I sighed softly and closed my eyes, concentrating on the self pleasure. A few moments later, I felt the couch dip again and heard him chuckle lowly.
"Please. Don't let me interrupt." He kissed my knee and kept my thighs wide open to enjoy the view. I adjusted myself a bit lower on the couch and added a third finger before stretching myself open for him to see. I moved my fingers up towards my clit adding a few circles against it that made my back arch. I felt Johnny hover over me, taking my chin in his hand and making me face him. "You're not gonna cum like that."
"I know i'm not." I smirked and set my cum coated fingers in my mouth, enjoying the way his eyes widened and pupils dilated at the sight. I grabbed his ass, pulling him to me again before forcing myself down onto his length. He pressed me wide open, stretching me and filling me perfectly. His bottom lip was caught in his teeth and he moved my legs to rest on his shoulders. I had no idea what possessed him with the thought that I was some sort of contortionist pretzel but as soon as i felt him hit deep within me my eyes fluttered closed once more and i clutched onto his arms. I could barely handle it. Every move he made was absolutely flawless and heavy with lust that it made me moan more than i'd ever done before.
My breath was barely existent and he took the opportunity to capture me in another kiss, digging his fingers into my hair to keep me close. He seemed different somehow. More attentive, more touchy, more focused on us. It was like he wanted to spend hours within me and torturing me with orgasm after orgasm. He began rolling his hips, my calves jerking and toes curling around his head. I whispered his name against his lips, a scarcely audible beg for him to never stop. The sensation was so overwhelming i could feel tears edging to my waterline.
"You feel so fucking amazing, Eri." He said as his brows furrowed and sweat beaded across his temples. My body warmed at his praise, rolling against him to beg for more for more and clawing at the back of the couch. "C-can i try something?"
I raised a brow, confused at the timing of his sudden question. "H-huh? What? I don’t want you to stop, please."
"No, i know, me either but...i thought you might like this." He removed his arms from keeping himself propped above me and instead clamped one around my throat and the other over my mouth. He dug his fingers into my neck sending a shock wave to my system. My eyes widened as I never excepted him to get so into choking me. I was sure that he was still tentative to the whole action but the fact that he was doing this for me made my heart flutter with the prospect of love once more. "Is this ok?"
I nodded eagerly, tapping at his hips to remind him to keep fucking me as he took every breath from my lungs. My head dove into a fuzzing space of semi consciousness and pleasure, drowning in my deprivation. My walls clenched tight, holding the pressure and sucking him in as if he could go any further within me. His entire frame shuddered and his palm pressed harder into me, sinking against my windpipe. I worked my hips back against him, a bit quicker as i needed the fast pace to add to my imminent orgasm. "Mo-more?" He asked softly, through his uneven breaths.
All i could do was nod again, helplessly, as my scream was blocked out by the hand over my mouth and he plowed into me relentlessly. I could barely keep my sanity let alone my orgasm at bay, especially when his movements were coupled with those deep groans he made. My lungs were aching at this point and my stomach tightened. Every muscle in my lower half tensed and just as I tapped his forearm to free myself from his restriction, my back arched and sent my body into a spasm. It was intense, definitely more intense than my previous orgasms with him and I gulped down heavy breaths just to keep myself from going dizzy. He pulled me into his arms, keeping me against his chest and cradling my head as if to steady me. "Ssh, i got you." He said.
The light above me was blinding and i blinked rapidly as another shock wave zipped through me from head to toe. He edged my legs down from his shoulders leaving me to finally relax a bit more. I clutched onto him and squeezed my eyes so tight i could see colors flashing in the darkness of my lids. It took another minute or two until i had calmed down enough, feeling like a bit of a fool for having to completely recover from an orgasm. I hid myself in his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't think it was weird. He kissed my neck, my cheek, then my temple, before pulling away so my chest could fully expand.
"Can you get on your knees for me?" He asked as he sat back again. I instantly looked down at his cock which seemed to be painfully swollen and throbbing just a tiny bit. I wanted to take care of him and slowly eased myself up into his favorite position. It wasn't easy, especially with my legs feeling like utter jello but i managed to get there. I gripped the armrest and spread my knees to the width of the couch cushion. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed into me, making me wince. He stopped and slowed a bit, giving time for my tender walls to readjust to his girth. My shoulders dipped and i bowed my head, panting as he worked my hips back against him. I shifted a bit until it felt comfortable again.
He slid his warm hands up my sides to between my shoulders, unclipping my bra and pulling it down towards my wrists. I flung it away and let him engulf my breast in his hands, kneading harshly and pressing his torso against me. He held onto me tight and forced brutal thrusts into me, barely allowing me to keep up. I was already becoming a giant mess of emotions and couldn't bare another breathtaking orgasm no matter how much I craved it. I curled my nails into the fabric of the couch as I felt his thumb rub over my nipple between rough gropes. I breathed out his name like a swear and dipped my stomach downwards, allowing him to nudge at the sensitive bundle of nerves only a few inches within me. Every once in awhile he would pop out completely, just to fuck me ever so slightly with his tip before crashing back in. That simplistic addition was practically making my eyes roll into the back of my head.
I could already feel myself tiptoeing on that fine line of a second orgasm but I was holding back as much as i could. With the way his muscles were flexing against me I could tell he was trying not to lose his cool just yet either but was very close to failing. "Johnny…" I mewled and wiggled my hips back against him, trying to coax him to spill into the condom. He growled low and deep within his throat, naturally and without thought, as I looked back to see him still in deep concentration. I bit my lip and smirked to myself over my favorite sound he made.
"OH MY GOD!"
My perfect fantasy world was ripped apart when my eyes flew open and i was staring directly at Quinn and Jae who had come in through the front door. I screamed and scrambled to get the discarded blanket from the floor and pull it to my chest. Johnny quickly pulled out and balled up his clothes to try and shield himself from view. "ERI! RIGHT ON THE COUCH?!"
I could tell my face was beat red and i had no idea what to even say. Jae was covering his eyes, avoiding us at all cost. "Dude, gross. Put some clothes on!"
"Shut up! You weren't supposed to be here!" Johnny yelled.
"THIS IS MY HOUSE TOO! FIRST YOU DITCH US AT THE BOBA PLACE AND NOW YOU’RE FUCKIN’ OUT IN THE OPEN?!” Quinn continued to yell.
“Excuse me! You guys were being gross and LEFT US to go fuck in the bathroom first! We had every right to leave you because we weren’t going to wait until ya’ll got your rocks off!” I yelled back.
“Can ya’ll like...leave? I don’t even want to sit on the couch now.” Jae said, peeking between his fingers.
“Fuck you, dude!” Johnny got up, still holding his clothes in front of him. “Fuckin’ idiots.” He turned and headed towards my room making Jae groan when he saw Johnny’s ass.
“Bro! Come onnnnnnnnnn! Gross!” He groaned.
“Well what the fuck do you want me to do, huh?! It’s kinda difficult to put skinny jeans on with a goddamn hard on!”
I got up as well, in no mood to continue to be in front of them and wanting to shrink away immediately. I wrapped the blanket around myself and sprinted to push Johnny into my room and slam the door shut. I threw myself face down on my bed and screamed into my pillow. “I want to fucking die!”
Johnny tossed his clothes to the floor and crawled in beside me, pulling my spare pillow over his face and groaning. “Why are they like this? Why do they always have to ruin everything, i swear to god!”
“Please put me out of my misery. I can’t believe Jae saw me naked. Not only naked but getting fucking plowed!”
“I swear if he mentions anything about the way you looked i’m decking him in the face.” Johnny snapped.
“Wait do you think i looked gross? Oh my god, i probably looked gross.”
“Why are you worrying what he thinks?!”
“Well, i mean- if i’m gonna be naked in front of someone I at least want to look good!” I buried my face deeper into the mattress, mumbling a “nevermind.” Johnny pulled the pillow off his face and sighed. He snapped off the condom, tossing it into the trash beside my desk as I finally pulled my face up from the mattress. He set the pillow under his head and stared at the ceiling a permanent scowl on his face. I inched my way closer and set my head on his chest, sighing deeply. “What are we going to do now?”
He set an arm behind his head and looked over at me. “I don’t know. I’m not going back out there. Maybe i’ll just nap or some shit.”
I bit my lip. “I mean...We could finish…”
“Are you really still worked up after getting embarrassed like that?"
"Well they're not gonna see us in here! And i'd rather not think about what Quinn is gonna say about seeing your whole ass when you go home and I have to face them."
He ran both if his hands over his face and groaned again. "Christ…"
"Besides they act like I've never done shit on the couch! I gave Lucas a blowjob there!"
Johnny glared at me before rolling over. "Seriously?"
"What?" I asked confused. "What happened?"
He adjusted himself as best he could and didn't say another word. I shook his shoulder gently. "Whaaaattt?" He still didn't say anything which made me pout. "Johnny, why are you being grumpy?"
He shrugged me off his shoulder but I set my head on it instead. "Daddyyyy, tell me." I rubbed his chest and slid my hand down his stomach.
"Dont even." He grumbled.
"Then tell me."
"I'm fine."
I kissed at his shoulder then moved to his neck. "Nah-uh. You got all grumpy all of a sudden and i need to know why." I tiptoed my fingers lower, trailing down his body hair to grip his base. He grunted and still tried to ignore me. I made a hard bite just beneath his jaw before grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling back harshly. He hissed and grabbed at my wrist. "Tell me." I commanded. His eyes turned into slits as he gave me a death glare before tackling me, however with my bed being so small, we completely rolled over and fell onto the floor with a hard thud. I landed on top of him, straddling his lap. We looked at each other and burst into laughter.
"We can't win, can we?" I giggled.
"I guess not." He smiled as he pulled me down onto his chest and kissed me, pushing my hair out of my face. "I took the condom off because I figured you wouldn't wanna keep going."
"Hmm, i could go all night with you." I gave him a kiss and he rose to prop himself of his elbows.
"Well damn, i'm all for that." He smirked.
I shimmied off him and grabbed another from my box, eager to get back into action. He got up from the floor and back onto the bed while i tore the wrapper open and got between his knees. "You know...it was really hot when you choked me like that."
"I could tell you really liked it. I thought you were having an exorcism with the way you came so hard."
I rolled my eyes and blushed. "Don't flatter yourself too much." I rolled the rubber onto him and pushed him down onto the bed. He dragged me with him, positioning me to be his little spoon and pulling my legs open. I bit my lip and hid shyly into my pillow as he guided himself back into me. He sighed softly against my heated skin and kept my leg secured in his arm. I encouraged his thrusts, grinding myself back against him while his other arm slipped under my head and crossed over my neck, crushing my throat once more. I gripped the blanket beneath me tight, trying to steady myself in any way possible. Johnny bit at the back of my neck, keeping his control over me. I let out a strangled whimper when his hips sped up, snapping harshly against my ass.
I gripped at his hand that rested by my propped up leg and carried his fingers to my wetness. I wanted attention to my excited bundle of nerves but instead I felt his middle finger press into me in conjunction with his cock. I arched against him as that little extra addition stretched me further than i thought I could ever go. My fingers flexed with tension, practically shaking as my mind went blank. I could barely make out his cocky strangled whispers as I slipped closer towards another orgasm. He was curling his finger as much as he could while digging deep to the hilt inside me. I was squirming desperately and clamping down around him. He moaned my name deeply after a hard clench, his cock throbbing with his release. As he filled me, he slipped his finger out and gently rubbed at my clit, adding to the sensitivity. His hold across my neck loosened and i laid my head back on his shoulder, feeding into the loving attention. He stayed within me, his warmth filling my lower half while my cum covered him completely with my second orgasm, slightly dripping down between my cheeks.
We laid together for awhile, not saying much while we recuperated our breaths. He set my leg down and instead wrapped his arm around my waist keeping his chest pressed against me. I sighed and joined my fingers with his, giving his hand a slight squeeze. He nuzzled the back of my neck and stayed like that, drifting into sleep. It took me a bit longer to try and rest and i found myself distracted by the Rilakkuma plush that had fallen to the floor. I stretched my arm all the way out, reaching for it while trying not to disturb Johnny too much. My fingertips just barely grabbed it by the ear and I pulled it close, snuggling it to my chest.
I felt happy, more so than I was used to and the fact that it was caused by Johnny scared me the most.
--
We had spent days texting each other, sending stupid memes, videos, and sweet good morning snapchats. He would occasionally send me short clips of him playing around on his keyboard which made me feel warm with hope that he was getting his creativity back. I dared to share videos of me practicing guitar but never me singing. I was always out of frame too as i was still too shy to show him all of me. Quinn would grill me every time i stopped whatever i was doing to answer him immediately. Those little messages were starting to carry a lot of weight and even more so when they turned into late night facetime sessions or the occasional phone sex. I had even saved a selfie of him as his contact photo that would pop up every time he called.
Our little bit of free time was spent together, watching shows on Netflix, episode by episode, or even having online Overwatch matches where we would curse each other out. I never wanted to be healer and he wouldn't cover me when i needed him most. It was a pain but still proved to be a good time and we almost always ended up laughing in the midst of battle. He was even patient with listening to some of my band recommendations though he still wasn't too keen on some of the heavier stuff I listened too. I appreciated him trying though. It would suck when we would have to work and couldn't pay attention to our phones to respond as much. Tonight was one of those nights. I knew he was closing at the cafe and i was eagerly waiting for his response for when we could hang out next. Somewhere around 10:30 i got a phone call from him instead.
"Heyyyyyy beauutifullll." He said with such saccharine sweetness i knew he was up to something.
"What do you want?" I said flatly, needing to get past his little cover up.
"So...remember like a week or so ago when we went to get Boba and left Jae and Quinn at the place?"
"Yes?"
"So….he kinda got back at me."
"What do you mean?"
I heard him sigh deeply. "So this morning he said something was wrong with his car and asked to borrow mine. He promised to take me to work and pick me up while he tried to figure out what was wrong. Well i've been trying for like over a half hour to call him and even tried Quinn but neither one of them are answering. And uh...this isn't my pay week so I'm broke as fuck and cant afford an uber. Sooo….would you be able to come pick me up?"
"See, i told you we should've gone back to get them! But noooo, you had to be so headass about it!"
"Yeah yeah! Save your 'i told you so's'. Can you just pick me up? Please? It's cold out here and I'm freezing my ass off. It's starting to snow."
I sucked my teeth. "Fine. You owe me."
"I'll steal you some cake pops and breakfast sandwiches tomorrow."
"Deal. Give me 10 minutes. I'll be there."
"Thanks, you're awesome."
"No shit." I smiled. "I'll see you."
He hummed a goodbye and we hung up. I pulled on my fleece lined sweatpants and my winter layers before trudging out to my car. There was only a thin layer of snow on the windshield so i thankfully didn't have to stand outside and dust it off. I cranked up the heat as soon as I got in and headed towards his job. It didn't take me long to see his dark figure in the stillness of the parking lot. He ran up to the car, his breath visible puffs and nose bright red.
"Fuck, it's cold! Thanks, babe." He climbed in and shut the door and I noticed he looked completely drained and tired. His dark circles were more prominent and his smile seemed a bit forced.
"Are you ok?" I asked, concerned.
"Huh? Yeah, i guess. Why?"
"You seem like you could pass out at any minute. Have you been getting enough sleep?"
He chuckled. "Uh, no. When do I ever? I'm running on coffee and energy drinks."
"That isn't good Johnny…" i set my hand over his. "You need a break."
"Yeah tell my bosses that. It ain't gonna happen, princess."
"Have you eaten?"
"Don't have money too. Too busy at work to eat either. I'll figure something out when i get home."
"Johnny, what the fuck." I sighed and put my car in reverse and backed out of the parking spot. "You're coming home with me." I switched into drive and headed back to my apartment.
"No offense, but i'm not particularly in the mood to fuck right now. I know, shocking, but my feet and back are killing me."
"I'm going to feed you and you're getting a bubble bath."
"A what? I don't take bubble baths. That's like...girl stuff…"
"I will slap you. Bubble baths aren't a gendered activity, idiot. Everyone needs to get clean." I rolled my eyes. "You're doing what I say and i'm not getting any back talk about it, got it?"
He put his hands up in mock defense. "Fine, fine. Whatever you say." He closed his eyes and rested his head back in the seat and I was sure he was dead asleep in seconds.
I took my time driving home, letting him enjoy his quick nap. I gently shook him awake when i pulled into my lot and he shuffled out of the car like a zombie, following me to my door. We tossed our coats and hats on the floor, not bothering to hang them up and set our wet shoes on the doormat. I went to work cooking pasta (the quickest and cheapest thing I had to fill him up) while he stretched out on the couch to fall asleep again. He woke up instantly once I held the steaming bowl of finished spaghetti by his face and devoured it like a ravenous dog, asking for seconds soon after. I filled up his bowl again and set some aside for me, eating much slower than he was.
"I'm gonna get the bath going for you, ok?" I said once I was done.
"I can just shower you know."
"Baths help relax your muscles. Didn't I say no back talk?"
He rolled his eyes and left me to my own devices. I made sure the water wasn't too boiling before adding a bath bomb and a ton of bubble bath soap, bath oil, and some epsom salt. I even tossed in some soap flower petals I had gotten from the local dollar store and always used when i took my baths. I lit the candle that stayed on the top of the toilet tank and surveyed my handiwork. It was about to be a fun time. "Johnny!" I called out to him. "It's ready!"
He came into the bathroom and took one look at the bath and almost walked out. "What the hell is all of this?"
"Clothes off. Get in."
"Eri, this is ridicu-"
I pulled at his shirt. "You smell like sweat and gross coffee. Naked. Now."
He pulled his shirt over his head and nudged his socks off with his toes. "Don't you think it's-"
"Pants. Lets go."
He pursed his lips and slid off his dress pants and underwear. "Alright, fine. I'll get in." He walked over to the tub as if it was going to attack him and dipped his foot in slowly. "You want me to boil in there?! Why is it so hot?"
I rolled my eyes at him acting like a baby and turned on the cold water to bring it to a better temperature for him. "Try that."
He dipped his foot in again and seemed satisfied with it. He slowly sunk down and settled as best as he could given his long limbs. He stood quiet for a second before looking up at me. "This is the shit."
"Oh my god. I told you! You're over here with your fragile masculinity about taking a bath. It's the best thing ever! Hashtag self care, homie."
"Get in here with me." He grinned.
"Oh, and where am i gonna fit when you take up the entire tub?"
"We'll figure it out, just come in here. The water's niceeeee."
"Yeah because i made it that way." I left the bathroom adding that i would return in a second. I went back to the kitchen and pulled out the last two beers I had, flicked off the caps and took it back to the bathroom.
"Helllll yeahhhh." Johnny perked up when he saw what i had in tow. I handed them over to him to hold while i discarded my clothes and maneuvered myself between his legs with plenty of difficulty. My tub wasn't made for a giant and me put together. Eventually we settled into a mostly comfortable position and i rested my head back against his chest, sipping at my beer. He seemed to be preoccupied by gathering suds in his hands and squishing the bubbles like a big kid. I took another sip and set the glass bottle onto the floor a little bit aways from the tub.
"You look like a toddler playing with the bubbles like that." I laughed.
"I'm just having fun. Besides, i can do this with them." He smooshed a handful of suds into the side of my face, catching me completely off guard.
"Oh you ass!" I wiped my face and flung the bubbles at him, getting it in his hair and face. He set his beer down beside mine and tried grabbing me, making water splash over the edge of the tub. I was a giggling fit as we tried to see who could cover who in the most bubbles. He splattered more into my hair though I was trying to block him as much as I could. I had closed my eyes for fear of getting soap in them and swatted at him until i felt him grabs my wrists and pull me close. We were still laughing out asses off until i wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.
"Isn't this better than some boring shower?" I smiled.
"Yeah, everything's better with you...but i do actually have to get clean. My hair is greasy as fuck."
"Oh, hold on. I grabbed my shampoo from the corner of the tub and pumped some into my palms. I slathered it into his hair, pushing it back before dipping my hands in the water. I scratched at his scalp, rubbing the shampoo in and making sure any didn't get into his face. He didn't protest at all and instead leaned into my chest, letting me take care of the rest. I wiggled onto my knees to get better access to him and he of course took the opportunity to grabs my ass, laughing when he slapped it and made suds fly about. I smacked the back of his head playfully and demanded he stay still when my nails were digging into his scalp.
He kissed my chest and neck, promising he would be a 'good boy' and making me roll my eyes. Eventually, i grabbed the shower head and rinsed off his hair though he shook the water from it like a dog and doused me. I proceeded to force the shower spray in his face which only made him grab me again and practically dunk me into the water. He was barely relaxing but definitely smiling and having fun which i guess was still a win. When i slid back up he wiped the suds away from me and kissed me, keeping me cornered between the edge of the tub and his body. I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around him again getting lost in my usual happy place.
We stayed like that until the water ran cold and made us shiver. I drained the tub and turned the shower on letting him fully wash up and get conditioner in his hair. There was a bit of a distraction when he was "helping me get clean" and his hands dove between my thighs. I almost fell for it because he always knew how to work me up in seconds but i was able to keep him at bay and make him rinse off. I stepped out the shower first, wrapping my hair in a towel and getting another for around my body. I padded out to the linen closet to get a spare and tossed it at him while he stood dripping in the tub. I went to my room to scope out some of Lucas' clothes that Johnny could wear for pajamas- well if he wanted to. He always did sleep naked. He came into the room a few minutes later, towel wrapped around his waist and still dripping just a bit.
"Did you actually want to sleep in clothes tonight? It is pretty cold." I asked.
"Yeah tha’ts fine….is that my hoodie?" He asked as he caught sight of his hoodie that rested over my desk chair. I had kept it since the night after the Halloween party.
"O-oh….yeah, uh… do you want to wear that?"
"I almost forgot you had it. It's like my favorite hoodie too." He grabbed it and briefly gave the hood a sniff. "Hm…"
"What?" I asked before pulling a pair of sweatpants out of the drawer for him.
"Nothing, it just smells like you now."
I raised a brow. "Uh...sorry?"
"Nah, its cool...how often were you wearing it?"
I didnt need him to know i slept with it on almost every night so i shrugged coolly. "Eh, once or twice. I didn’t really pay attention to it."
"Mhm." Was all he said before I handed him the sweatpants and he pulled them on. He crashed face down onto my bed, groaning happily as he finally got to lay down. I finished drying my hair, tying it up, and pulled on my comfy oversized pjs. I got in bed beside him and kissed at his bare shoulders.
"Do your muscles still hurt?" I asked.
"A little. Mostly my lower back. It was truck day so of course i had to get all the boxes of coffee and shit organized and lift every thing. I'm just ready to sleep."
I slipped over his hips and ran my hands over the small of his back. "Do you want a massage?"
He looked back at me. "What?"
"A massage. Like you know, to relieve some of the tension?"
"Oh...ok?"
"What? You never gotten one before?" I laughed at his incredulousness.
"Not really. I usually do it for girls to get them in the mood or whatever. Touch their tits."
"You're definitely the romantic." I shook my head and dug my palms into his lower back hearing a few vertebrae crack. He cursed softly and i felt his entire body relax beneath me. "There you go, dummy. That’s better."
I worked my hands over his muscles, sliding them across his shoulders and working my thumbs into the back of his neck. "Damn Eri, what did I do to deserve you?" He chuckled.
"I mean, i'm definitely the best you've ever had and the best you'll ever get." So why don't you ask me to be your girlfriend already?
He snorted. "Yeah, sure. I will say though that you've got the best ass and you're turning me into an ass man for sure."
"And a thigh man too."
"All of it." He smirked.
"Get into anal, then we'll talk." I cracked a bit more of of his spine before leaning down to kiss his cheek.
"Hm, doubt it." He closed his eyes and pulled my Rilakkuma plushie that had become my sleeping partner close to him. Why did he have to be so fucking cute? It was getting impossible to ignore my feelings for him no matter how hard i tried to suppress them. It was bad enough that he made me laugh and smile but we were actually getting along pretty well. He was starting to seem absolutely perfect and yet...he would never have feelings for me. I sighed internally as i slid off him and pressed myself into his back, becoming the big spoon. He didn't move or shrug me off so I assumed he didn't care. That or he was already passed out which seemed like the most logical explanation.
I pulled the covers over us and wrapped my arm tight around his waist. Eventually the stillness of the air around us and the calmness of his breathing got to me. Slowly, i started falling asleep, encased by his warmth and my feelings of never wanting him to let go.
--
Johnny's POV
I felt hands grabbing at me, clutching at my shoulders and chest. I tried to block them, shove them away. I pleaded for them not to touch me. I didn't need to feel used again. Or dirty. Or weak. I screamed then, burning my lungs as tears rolled down my face.
"JOHNNY! WAKE UP!"
The voice was different then what I was expecting and I opened my eyes to see her face full of worry with a red mark on her cheek. "E-Eri?" I could barely speak.
"I think you were having another night terror. I-i was trying wake you up but you kept fighting…"
"D-d-did I hit you?"
"I mean...i know it was an accident. You were in a state of panic." She dragged her thumb across my cheek and I could feel her wipe at the tears there. They hadn't stopped flowing and i realized how much of a fool I was. I never cried in front of anyone. I would never show that side to me. Not only had I told her my deepest secrets but she had watched me have not one but two night terrors. Now here I was crying-no, sobbing- like a little bitch. I had to leave. I shoved her away quickly, probably harder then i needed to and got up from the bed. I was in a rush to pull on my hoodie and get to the front door while she was calling out to me to slow down. I couldn't bare too.
I ran out of her room, wiping furiously at my face. I gathered my coat from the floor and shoved my feet into my work boots. Quinn was just coming through the door and stopped as she saw me. "Johnny? Are you ok?"
"Did Jae drop you off?! Is he still downstairs?!"
"Wh-what? Yeah. Did something happen between you and Eri?"
"Johnny!" I heard Eri cry out. I moved Quinn out of the way and took the stairs two at a time, calling out to Jae as another wave of tears threatened to push through. I threw the front door open and waved at him, his eyes widening as he sat in my car. I got in the passenger seat as fast as I could.
"Johnny, i can explain-"
"Drive!"
"What? What happened?"
"JUST DRIVE!"
"Fuck! Ok!" He hit reverse and backed out before speeding away from the apartment. "What's going on, bro?"
I covered my face with my hands and rested my elbows on my knees. "I can't do this anymore. They're getting worse. I cant fucking do this."
"What's getting worse? Did Eri do something to you? I'll turn this car around right now, i swear to god."
"No. No. Just go home. Please just take me home."
"You need to tell me what's happening. I mean it." He said, sternly.
"Not right now. Later. I can't...fuck, i can't…" i sniffled and rubbed at my eyes again, trying to make sure I didn't shed another tear. Jae didn't say anything after that but I could tell he wanted to. I just needed to know why I couldn’t get over this. It had been over a month since it initially happened but only a couple weeks since she had left me alone for good. I had spent so much time with Eri that I thought it would be over but she could only do so much. And now i had hit her, an accident, but it still brought me back to how I felt when the bruises were all that were left of Rixi’s torture. I pressed my head against the cold glass of the window and watched as the street lamps passed by.
"I really worry about you…" Jae said in Korean, which meant he was completely serious.
"Yoonoh, i said not now." I replied. My Korean wasn't the best of the best and my accent was complete shit compared to his but I could at least hold a conversation.
"I know not now, we don't have to get into it but i still wanted you to know. I'm here for you and if she so much as hurt you-"
"She didn't. Eri would never. I know she wouldn't. But...I just keep reliving what happened and can’t let it go. That's all."
"Maybe...you should try like therapy, man. They have those groups for survivors and-"
"I'm not a fuckin' charity case and i don't need therapy. I'm not gonna sit there being the only dude and get laughed at. I can deal with it on my own." I snapped.
"Can you? Because it doesn't seem like it." He said, softly.
"I don't even know anymore…"
He pulled up to our place and i walked ahead of him which was when i realized i had left everything in Eri's room. I sighed and set my head against the door wondering if Jae would go back and get my keys, wallet, and cell phone for me. I didn't want to face her. After all how did you face the person you had feelings for when you just cried right in front of them.
--
Eri's POV
He hadn't talked to me in a couple weeks again which was starting to become the most annoying and frustrating thing about him. Just when i thought i was breaking his walls down he would block me off again. It was like all those perfect moments we shared together meant nothing at all and we were back to square one- or square zero for that matter. I kept promising myself that no matter what Johnny did to try and weasel his way back into my life I wouldn't let him. I couldn't fix him, i couldn't stop his night terrors or anxiety, and I sure as hell couldn't get him to admit that he needed more help than i could give. It wasn't my job to build him back up even if i was okay helping him out a little. I still did care about him and didn't want him to suffer but I also had to move on for my sake.
However, the way I coped with everything was my favorite self destructive habit. The other lead singer of my band, André, had invited me over for a house party with some of the other people we normally played with at the club. Even a few of our friends who were on tour had come down to our shitty little college town to see us. It had been about a year since they had gone on tour and I was so damn happy to see them. Too many drinks later we were jumping on the couch and breaking shit, playing riff after riff on our guitars and laughing our asses off at stupid stories. I had no idea how many people I kissed or how many times someone asked me to hook up with them. Headbanging made me dizzy but i did it anyway. Hanging around a bunch of metalhead dudes was not the time to punk out. I stopped myself from puking a few times and managed to get a round of Three Amigos in; my specialty. One shot of Fireball, one shot of Honey Whiskey and a last shot of Bourbon.
That pushed me over the edge into bad decision territory. I stepped out of the apartment for a minute in a fit of drunken giggles. I unlocked my phone and trailed through my contact list ready to make a fool of myself. I dialed the number and waited. It only rang two times before he answered.
"Eri?" He sounded confused and a little bit sleepy. My sense of time was distorted.
"Heyyyyyy cutie. How's it going?" I giggled.
"Fuck, you're drunk."
"Absolutely not! I'm just a little tipsy, that's all baby, I swear."
"Yeah, no. You're drunk. I'm the last person you'd be calling."
"I miss your dick though. A lot. I think about it sometimes. It felt good. So good…"
His tone changed a bit, voice getting a little deeper. "Oh? Yeah? I guess I can admit I’ve thought about you a few times too."
"But you hate me!" I whined. "You're always so mean to me and you never talk to me!"
"I don't hate you I just hate the shit surrounding you is all. It's too much drama. I just want to fuck you without any problems."
"You can fuck me. Please fuck me."
"Eri…" I heard him sigh softly. "I can't, baby. You're drunk. That's literally illegal."
"Nooooo, no. I'm not I swear. Can I come over in a bit? Will you stay up for me? I'll make it worth your while."
"If you come over i'm just gonna have to babysit you and make sure you don't choke on your own vomit."
I let out a frustrated grunt, his name coming out short and snippy. "For the last time i'm not drunk. I want you to fuck me, ok? All these idiots at this party want me but I don't want any of them. I want you. I want you...all of you. For the rest of the night."
"Why do you do this? You're a heartbreaker and a fucking tease, you know that?"
"That's how I get them to keep coming back." I smirked. "Do you really not hate me? Like...for real."
"I meant what I said. I really don't hate you. I've thought about you more than enough. I've thought about when I was inside you, when we kissed, the way you looked at me when you came, how good you looked at the summer party. I've wanted you for awhile but never had the guts to say so, and always hated the shit you brought around."
"I'm a good girl, i swear. I won't cause any trouble. I really need you. Please?"
"Ok, ok...promise me you'll sober up first. And for the love of god don't drive. I'll call you an uber if you need one."
"Hmm, no. I'll be ok. I'll be there soon. Just be ready for me."
"You're a pain in the ass, i hope you know that."
"So are you, jerk." I giggled. "Bye." I hug up my phone, biting my lip as I was happy to get my hook up for the night. I missed him a little and needed to get my mind off of everything and he was the perfect distraction. Suddenly, the door swung open and my arm was grabbed.
"Why are you out here?! We need you to show Justin that he doesn't know shit about a good solo!" André said. "You need to kick his ass!"
"Ok! Ok! But only one. I've got to get somewhere after and sober up."
"Boooooo! That's boring! Where the hell do you need to go?"
"To get laid, duh! Where else would I go?"
"Oh great. Did Crystal call you up again? She was supposed to be coming soon." He said.
"Nah, not Crystal. An old flame. But tell her that she's more than welcome to get back in my bed and be tied up." I set my arm around his shoulder and lead him back into the apartment. "Now let's show that dumbass who's the head bitch in charge around here."
It was another hour or so before I left. I wanted to at least get some water in me before I headed over to his place. The snow on the ground had turned into slush as the past few days had been rainy. Tonight was barely any different. When I had gotten into the uber it was drizzling but as soon as I got to the apartment it had turned into a torrential downpour. The quick walk to the front door had me soaked in seconds and absolutely freezing. I knocked on the door fast hoping he was still up like he promised.
It took a minute but he opened the door. His eyes widened at my shivering state and pulled me in quickly. "Jesus, what happened to you?"
"It's p-pouring and like 30 degrees out. I'm f-fuck-fucking freezing."
He pushed the wet hair away from my face and cupped my face in his hands. I clutched onto his tank top, desperate for warmth and for his touch. He kissed my trembling lips and after such a long time of not being with him i realized exactly what made me hook up with him in the first place. He was always so attentive and ready to please me that it made my heart burst into a fast paced sprint. "Let's get you a hot shower, ok? Don't need you catching a cold, angel."
"Hmm, you know i'm far from an angel, but I will take the shower with you.” He closed the door as i took off my leather jacket and untied my combat boots, yanking them off and almost stumbling to the floor. He caught my shoulder and helped me straighten up.
"You good?"
I giggled. "Yeah, definitely." I took his hand and headed towards his bathroom. "C'mon Taeyong, I promised to make it worth your while didn't I?"
#Johnny Fanfic#JOHNNY SMUT#johnny suh#johnny seo#johnny fanfiction#nct 127 fanfic#johnny nct#nct 127 fanfiction#NCT 127#NCT#nct 127 smut#nct sm au
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Let's be honest about the KCA looks this year for the Henry Danger cast.
I have a lot of opinions so lets go (don't murder me if you disagree)
Riele - she looks absolutely stunning tbh. Her outfit gives me a Knight Squad turns Steampunk vibe and honestly she makes it work quite well. Her hair is fabulous and I love the beads in it~
Sean - all I can say is: boring. He looks good don't get me wrong but it's nothing special. The people who styled him could've tried a bit harder. His hair looks nice how its done - it def works.
Cooper - same thing as Sean, really. From what i've seen its just plain white and while he rocks it they could've given him a cool jacket to go with it. The way his hair is done really works for him and allows him to look a lot more 'adult like' than in the show.
Michael - that navy / black conbo is solid. And the matching hat?? I love it. While it doesn't jump out compared to other actors there it definitely works though I would say its a bit too formal for him I feel like if he had a similar outfit to Cooper that would work better idk.
Ella - MA GIRL LOOKIN GREAT. She looks like shes going through her manditory emo phase but I really like it on her. Her hair is nothing short of iconic with the little sliver stars and the fishnet top with the sleeves?? Yaaas girl. I'd say the trousers arent the best things on earth but they work so i'm not mad lol
Jace - I left him till last bc his is... A lot. First of all GO SHAVE YOUNG MAN I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR AWKWARD STUBBLE. His hair a mess tbh its trying to be like Cooper's but honey it aint working it looks kinda dumb. Sort that shit out. I do have to say I like his suit jacket. The flowers work super well with the colour of the jacket so thats a win. The little pins on the collar of the top are super cool too. Its overall fairly solid but someone please make this boy shave.
Overall Ranking: (best to worst don't kill me)
Riele (queen slays every year)
Ella
Michael
Sean
Cooper (both him and Sean were too basic for me to put them higher)
Jace (honey you lost me from the neck upwards but if he sorted that out he'd be a solid #3)
#henry danger#kca 2019#kids choice awards 2019#kids choice awards#jace norman#ella anderson#riele downs#cooper barnes#michael d cohen#sean ryan fox#fashion isnt their strongest point tbh#minus riele she really slays
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k so @byulyi dared me to do all the flowers from this and my dumbass thought it was a great idea to accept the dare but my dumbass also fucked up and basically deleted the ask so here it is in a post lmao buckle up bitch!! (u really dont have to read it if u dont want its sm longer than i thought it would be)
amaryllis - name an attribute of yourself that you are proud of.
proud of my ability to find the shittiest and worst tv shows/movies and watch them religiously lmao
anemone - describe a time when you felt abandoned or betrayed by someone you loved.
back in yr 8??9?? i had a super close friend (that i was also in love with but i didnt realise bc of compulsive heterosexuality) that randomly cut off ties with me and yike it sucked
azalea - would you describe yourself as a patient person?
in terms of simple things like waiting on a package no lmao but if its waiting for a person or smthn like ykno that deep shit then yeah
begonia - describe anything you see as a “red flag” (something that makes you cautious about a new friend or love interest)
straight up if theyre an asshole,, if they say something homophobic/racist/sexist etc just if theyre not accepting and nice to all people
bird of paradise - do you like hosting parties, or do you prefer to just attend?
i love hosting!!!!!!! i love making sure everyones havin a lit time and organising all the stuff
bluebell - what keeps you humble?
tbh idk how to answer this question just bc ig im not really in a position where i have stuff to flex so like i dont have a lot to be humble about ?? in terms of like achievements n shit
chysanthemum - describe your idea of a perfect day.
this is kinda gay but honestly just a day i get to spend chilling with my girl whether we go out or just stay home and binge movies all day whatever it is,, just to have a chill day with her with no ‘you have to be doing this!!!!!!’ feeling
spring crocus - describe your favourite childhood memory.
the first one that comes to mind is me and my cousin when we were like 5yo running around the house with a cape on pretending we were superheroes
daffodil - how do you confess your feelings to someone you’re interested in?
ive only done it twice, the first time was a complete Mess and the second time they initiated it so idk lol i wing it ig
daisy - describe something that gives you hope when things seem bleak. honestly idk bc im the kinda person that just wallows in their sadboi but i guess something that helps is just talking to people esp my gf about whatever it is thats sucky
foxglove - when was the last time you told a lie?
i told my parents i was going to the city for lunch with a friend today but i went to a dance class for love shot by exo lmao
gardenia - have you ever had to keep a romance a secret? if so, why and for how long?
yeah bc we were both not out - had to keep it a secret from p much everyone other than a few friends the entire time we were tgt
purple hyacinth - describe a time when you had to apologize to someone
last year,, i had a fight(??) with my friend and yeah
hydrangea - how much time do you spend on your appearance each day? not a lot i always look like a Mess
white jasmine - what is something that never fails to make you laugh? !!!!!!!mamamoo !!!!!!
lavender - describe your oldest friendship, and why you think it has lasted so long.
i have a primary sch friend and we’ve been friends sort of since kindy but properly for like 8 years???? its the kinda friendship where we dont have to talk often but we can hit each other up whenever and it isnt weird its just chill and gucci ( @akicchisano luv u binch no homo)
lilac - describe your first relationship or first love.
yeet ok my first pROper rs?? lasted like a year and a half and it was a friend in high school,, uhh it was good while it lasted but im glad its over and i wouldnt go back lmao but it was definitely a learning experience
calla lily - what traits do you find beautiful in others? in yourself?
i guess imma be really typical and say kindness like the kindness in which u dont expect anything in return?? like the way people aim to make people happy and laugh and shit ykno (i just woke up soz this is terrible)
tiger lily - if you had to choose between doing what you love and making very little money, or doing a job you hate and making a lot of money, what would you choose and why?
im assuming the very little money is still enough to get by?? but i would choose that just bc if i hated my job idk how long i would last in it but i dont think it would be very long at all. if i had people to provide for or something tho then definitely the second bc gotta get that dough for them
lotus flower - would you say that you are a spiritual person? if so, what elements of spirituality are important to you?
nah im not really
magnolia - describe your favourite thing to do outdoors.
probably just walking around ykno with nothing to do or maybe hiking?? sightseeing?? shit like that
morning glory - are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?
very lmao if i like you romantically or platonically ill be v touchy and cuddly if u reciprocate it,, i also will give random gifts like stuff ive made or stuff that reminds me of that person just random small things
pansy - what is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has done for you? idk if this is the mOSt thoughtful bc i have bad memory but that one time the mvp @akicchisano bought me a smol christmas tree bc i kept talking about how i wanted one but couldnt find one that shit got me busting the phattest uwus
peony - describe the top three things necessary for a happy life.
a sugar daddy,, good food,, girls
petunia - what never fails to make you angry?
when people borrow shit and dont put it back how they found it >:(
red poppy - what tips or tricks do you use to cheer yourself up when you’re down?
i go for a drive (i cant drive so i make my brother lmao) or i watch smthn funny just get my mind off it somehow
red rose - describe your ideal date or romantic evening.
shit idk about ideal but itd be really nice to maybe get dinner and go star gazing like somewhere far where theres less light pollution and hella stars and then after that just coming home to binge movies and cuddle
yellow rose - do you get jealous easily?
sO easily its terrible but most of the time i dont do anything about it
snowdrop - have you ever had a falling out with a friend or family member?
not in such a way thats resulted in us not ever talking again
sunflower - do you consider yourself a loyal person?
ye,, ya girl aint no hoe
sweet pea - describe a difficult goodbye you had to make to a friend or other loved one.
probably saying bye to all my family bc they came to visit and having to send them off opened up some real emo hours :((((
violet - how important is loyalty in friendships and/or relationships?
v important bc u gotta have someone to rely on but it should be loyalty and not blindly following
wisteria - do you like poetry? if so, describe your favorite poem(s).
yeah i kinda just like random poetry theres a lot from an insta acc called poeticpoison that i really like
zinnia - do you have any loved ones in your life that you miss and wish you could see?
yeahh my gorlfriend and all my family since they all live in different countries
#mama aint raise no lil bitch#gOd i cant believe i actually did all that#jfc#it did not look that long#and my answers are so shit#i have so many regrets#only took me like an hour to answer it all lmao#never again#asks#byulyi
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no scrubs.
tlc’s “no scrubs” but it’s red vs blue & it’s a shitty wattpad-style fic. pls enjoy. if you don’t you’re a coward and a scrub.
"Tucker... I can't do this anymore."
A breeze whipped by and thrust Wash's frosty locks directly into the pupils of shale thunder cement pavement cloud gray eyes, instantly blinding him. "I'm sorry. I love you. But I just can't be with you."
Tucker melted into a pool of tears of whiny-bitchness. "WHAHHHHHHHHHHY WASH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME I"M TRY SO HARD MMMMSJAGHHHAGHMMAHDEHH"
Wash patted his now ex-boyfriend's head. "I'm sorry... You're just not EdgyTM enough for me. We can still be-"
"DON"T SAY FRIENDS YOU COWARD ASS BOTTOM BITCH," Tucker shriekded and whaPOW smacked the shit out Wash's ain't-shit ass.
Tucker stormed off. He had given this man SO MUCH OF HIS FECKING TIME just to be PASSED OFF LIKE YESTERDAY'S FECKING LEFTOVERS. Who did Wash think he was, York or some shit? Tucker wasn't to be passed up like that. Uh-huh. No feckin' way, BETCH. He paused in the door. "Oh, and Washyboi?"
Wash looked up with his somber Emo Band Frontman Gray Eyes. "Yes, ba- Tucker?"
"I'm PREGNENT. It's SIMMONS'."
From a distant pizza-scented heartbreak scene: "It's WHO'S? oH, GOD, NOOOO." It sounds orange.
Tucker sweeps out of the scene like the bad bitch he is, leaving that ol' aint-shit-ass Freelancer behind. Fuck that mess. Ain't nobody got time for that. Honestly, how the feck do you pair a Lavernius with a David? What kind of white boy bullsh-
Wash dissolved in angst and despair. He knew he was just a scrub. It wasn't his fault. Ever since Carolina returned, Wash had been unable to forget his one true love:
Dr. Leonard Church.
uwu
Elsewhere, AKA the aforementioned heartbreak scene, Simmons had just woken up from a terrible traumatic nightmare about Grif falling off the cliff. Thank fuck the Meta died, right? No way in hell anyone present at that fight gave a half-shit about that fucking monstrosity. Simmons sighed in relief. All that mattered was that Grif had lived.
Ol' nerd-ass maroon duderino hopped out of bed to go lay on his boyfriend, to find Grif had drowned himself in pizza. How? Fuck you and your physics. He just did.
Simmons fell to his knees in despair. "NOOOOOOOO-"
On the wall he saw it:
"I can't believe you M-Pregnated Tucker."
Simmons cried because, even now, after all this time-
Always-
He was just a fuckin' scrub.
uwu
Tex was above everyone else because she KNEW Church was a scrub. I know I just talked about the Meta fight and Tex is canonically dead but fuck you you don't know what the hell time setting is. This could be an AU. It's not. But it could be. It's just fucking canon.
Somewhere in another,,,, Tex was reflecting on her own ain't-shit-ass boyfriend, and his ain't-shit-ass original form. They were both ain't-shit-ass. Church, in every iteration, was a goddamn scrub. And Tex was just boss-ass enough to make up for all the ain't-shit-ass Church brought to the relationship.
She knew why they lasted.
She knew why they made it when Grif and Simmons fell apart because of Simmons being a scrub. She knew why their love was stronger than Tucker and Wash's.
It was because her soulmate being a scrub was just some shit she already been knew. It was no shocking revelation, no horrible plot twist, no Wattpad fantasy drama, no telenovela stress scene. It was just a fucking fact that everyone who met Leonard Church was aware of: he was a scrub.
Tex loved him anyway.
Tex loved him even more because her scrubmate made her look so much more boss-ass in comparison.
Fuck you, Leonard Church, she thought, and sighed in contentment. You ain't-shit-ass scrub, I love you so goddamn much.
uwu
Back to the plot, Tucker fell off a cliff or astronomy tower or something else edgy and dramatic because fuck you scrub-ass Wash he IS Edgy-TM. Simmons cried some fucking more because even though he was a hoediddyhoebag he still loved that child. This why you don't do tequila, ladies and gents.
Simmons cried to Sarge, "I jahahahust dohohon't u-u-understYAAAAND-"
To which Sarge promptly replied, "Get your sorry ass off my steel-toed boots before I crush your thick skull open, Private. You lookin' to get an ass-kickin' this early in the morning?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"What the chicken FUCK did you just say????"
And that's the story of how Richard Simmons died.
uwu
The only people who don't belong in this fucking fic because they are PERFECT and have never loved or been a scrub or Doc and Donut. I would like to take this time to tell you just how perfect they are. But I'm not gonna do that. Figure out your damn self. If you think they're not soulmates, you're wrong. If you think they're scrubs, I'll meet you behind the Denny's and personally explain to you how the fuck hydrogen fusion works on the sun. Does it? No. Nothing works on the sun. And you won't either. You'll just
uwu
Sarge tromped into the room where Wash was still fucking dying in his own ball of emo angst. If this were a My AI(mmortal), Wash would've already done things that would cause me to add trigger-warnings to this fic, which I'm not gonna do because I'm lazy. Deal with it preps uwu
Sarge marched right up to that ain't-shit-ass bumblescrub and grabbed him by his bumblescruff. "What in Sam Hill did you do to this place? Grif is dead, Simmons is dead, Tucker threw himself off a cliff-"
"he did WHAT?"
"He's dead, John."
"My name is Da-"
"I don't give a freckled ass's shit what your name is, Private. What did you do to my boys?"
"I..." He threw a hand over his forehead like the edgy melodramatic shit he is, unaware of the storm he had culled. "I broke up with Tucker."
Sarge, on the outside, just seemed like regular Sarge. "And why did you do that?"
"Carolina being around... She reminded me of my one true love."
Sarge's grip didn't tighten. His visor didn't show the red he saw.
"And who would that be, Private?"
"I'm not actually-"
"AND WHO WOULD THAT BE, PRIVATE?"
"Director Leonard Church."
Sarge lost all inhibitions. Not another goddamn Church-fucker. The only Church-fucker allowed in this hell-base was Caboose, the one good blue. Sarge's boot met Wash's chest and yeeted him all the way to Denny's, where I waited to explain hydrogen fusion on the Sun.
Everything was done. Everything was over. There was one thing left on this hell-base. One. Sarge was no scrub. Sarge was not and never had been in love with a scrub. He was immune to the Curse of the Scrubs, AKA the reason all these whiny bottoms died today.
He departed from Wash's death scene to do what he should've done a long time ago.
He went to his bedroom. Lopez waited there. And no, it's not what you think. Sarge opened his dresser drawer. "Lopez... I ever tell you about my OTP?"
"No."
Sarge removed them from the drawer and brought the gift to his robo-son. "Well, son, it's time you learned. I made you, and that makes me God, of everything but the Blues. Those were produced by the Devil. And these- these were made for you. That makes them your soulmate."
In Spanish, Lopez said something like, "Please don't."
Sarge chuckled. "You're welcome, son."
And he placed the cat ears on Lopez.
It was done.
Everything.
It was the end.
Sarge's OTP, at last, was canon.
#red vs blue#crunchfic#grimmons#tuckington#chex#lopezs-cat-ears#no scrubs#tlc#drama#action#romance#adventure#it's a Good Fic fuck you
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Top 10 Albums of the Decade: Helena Barnett
Let’s Cheers To This
Sleeping With Sirens
[2011]
During the end of 2010 and start of 2011, I had to experience some things I never thought I would have to experience in my entire life time. I didn't quite know how navigate all these new experiences, so this album and the music released in 2011, was a huge form of therapy for me. I couldn't really voice my emotions and thoughts as I didn’t have the confidence or vocabulary, so I let the music help me out on that one. I really dig the pairing of smooth vocals from lead singer, Kellin Quinn, contrasted with some heavier, more post hardcore melodies and vocals within each track. Perfect music to jam out and/or cry to in your room when your 13 or 23.
Top Tracks: Do It Now Remember It Later, A Trophy Fathers Trophy Son, Tally It Up Settle The Score, Your Nickel Aint Worth My Dime, Postcards and Polaroids.
If you like: Pierce The Veil, Asking Alexandria, Of Mice & Men.
Neighborhoods
Blink 182
[2011]
With the perfect balance of catchy melodies and darker lyrics, this 14 track alternative/pop punk album became my escapism during 2011. My sister used to jam a few of their older albums in the early 2000’s, and I had just found her old CD's a year prior to the release of this album. This led me to associate a lot of nostalgia and comfort with their sound. I was also finally at an age where I could relate to the lyrical material, which created a whole new listening experience.
Top Tracks: Natives, After Midnight, Hearts All Gone Interlude, Kaleidoscope, Wishing Well.
If you like: Sum 41, Simple Plan, Jimmy Eat World.
Every Kingdom
Ben Howard
[2011]
You can’t go wrong with Ben Howard. He is an Indie Rock Singer Songwriter who embodies emotion within his smart lyrical content and sound. Each song he creates is a musical masterpiece along with being lyrically brilliant. Every Kingdom also uses a similar recipe to Blink 182’s Neighborhoods album which includes darker lyrical content contrasted with an opposing, more upbeat melody. This album has definitely helped me rethink my perspective on certain situations throughout the past decade and I have found it to be relevant and enjoyable consistently, even after listening to it on repeat.
Top Tracks: Old Pine, Diamonds, Everything, Only Love, The Fear, Keep Your Head Up.
If you like: Ryan Adams, James Vincent McMorrow, Angus & Julia Stone
Mayday Parade
Mayday Parade
[2011]
Another emo 2011 album for the list, and not the last. This self titled album is full of Pop Punk anthems that have made it into almost all of my playlists over the past decade. It's one of those albums where every song hits hard and speaks about issues like mental health that were not so openly talked about at the time. This album acted almost like an emotional guide to my confusing year as a 15 year old. Earlier in the decade, Pop Punk, had this sort of revival and growth in popularity (tumblr, definitely being an influence there) which connected so many people all around the world. Throughout bands like SWS, Mayday Parade and Blink 182; Pop Punk was able to help listeners navigate and validate emotions that a lot of us were struggling to deal with..
Top Tracks: No Heroes Allowed, Priceless, Stay, I’d Rather Make Mistakes Than Nothing At All, Without the Bitter The Sweet Isn't As Sweet.
If you like: Sleeping With Sirens, All Time Low, Pierce The Veil
What You Don't See
The Story So Far
[2013]
This next album was released in 2013, but I was a little late to the party and gave it a listen more-so in 2014. It had been the soundtrack to a lot of house parties and car jams and seemed to be influential to a lot of people in my life at the time. The album consists of 11 tracks that feature lead vocalist, Parker Cannon’s signature pop punk vocals alongside the bands strong guitar riffs and heavy beats. Similar to a lot of the earlier albums on this list, the lyrical content navigates growing up and experiencing the ups and downs of being a young adult making it damn relatable for a lot of my generation. It’s one of those albums that holds a lot of memories and is a steady contender in all party playlists within my friend group.
Top Tracks: Things I Can't Change, Right Here, Stifled, Empty Space, Face Value.
If you like: Balance and Composure, Basement, Neck Deep.
Shangri La
Jake Bugg
[2013]
This record is a beautiful Indie Rock, Singer/Songwriter, album that holds the essence of British 80’s Rock with a touch of Folk goodness. There's also a great balance of up-tempo jams and mellow ballads so what more could you ask for really? This album was the first Jake Bugg record I had a listen to and was definitely not the last. Jake Bugg’s 2014 concert at Auckland's Town Hall was also the first concert that I went to, by myself. I was so nervous and just wanted to hide in the bathroom but in the end I actually had such a great time and forced myself to stay in the pit and have since attended many a gig alone without hiding in the bathroom the whole time which is honestly fucking awesome.
A few of my favourite tracks are; Slumville Sunrise, What Doesn’t Kill You, A Song About Love, Kitchen Table, Simple Pleasures
If you like: Arctic Monkeys, The Clash, The La’s.
Wishful Thinking
Neck Deep
[2014]
This album introduced me to a whole new community and a whole new wave of Pop Punk. It led me to bands like State Champs, Knuckle Puck and Modern Baseball and encouraged me to get out in the local scene a little more. I had just moved to Auckland when this album was released and had a friend who encouraged me to head along to their gig at Ding Dong Lounge later in the year. This was one of my first experiences of the music scene in Auckland, and it’s safe to say it was a good one as 5 years later, I am still regularly hitting up Ding Dong Lounge for my weekly music fix. The lyrical content throughout this album really resonated with me heavily at the time too as I had just moved cities and was only 18 so the “growing pains” mentioned throughout the album hit home.
Top Tracks: Losing Teeth, Growing Pains, Sweet Nothings, Blank Pages, Candour.
If you like: Real Friends, State Champs, Trophy Eyes.
To The Sun And All The Cities In Between
City Of The Sun
[2016]
We have all probably gone on a Sofar Sounds binge in the last decade, it’s truly such a good outlet for finding new music. I first listened to City Of The Sun on the infamous channel 4 years ago, so I was stoked when I heard the announcement of an album in 2016. These guys create ridiculously good genre bending instrumentals, similar to the likes of Chon and Explosions In The Sky. Their passion and pace is reflected beautifully within this debut album. It is a perfect balance between peaceful and poetic melodies alongside upbeat tempos and insane shredding. If you haven't checked them out yet, I would start with searching “City of the Sun - Intro (The xx Cover) | Sofar NYC” on YouTube and then go listen to this album for the full experience.
Top Tracks: To The Sun And All The Cities In Between, Those Days Are Now, W. 16th St, La Puerta Roja, Everything.
If you like: Chon, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, Explosions In The Sky.
Chemical Miracle
Trophy Eyes
[2016]
The reviews and hype are true, this album is phenomenal. It’s a great showcase of lead vocalist, John Floreani’s vocal range as he belts through heavy verses as easily as the more subdued melodic parts. The band accompanies John’s vocals with interesting tempos and melodies that keep you interested while listening to even the mellow tracks like ‘Daydreamer’. This 11 track album is super versatile and probably resonates with a lot of people due to the influence of different genres and mixtures of slow tracks and heavier beats. It’s perfect for parties, perfect for car rides, perfect for any mood at any time really.
Top Tracks: Chlorine, Counting Sheep, Heavensent, Breathe You In, Daydreamer.
If you like: The Story So Far, Citizen, Can’t Swim.
Beside Myself
Basement
[2018]
If this was a top 100, I would have loved to include Basement’s discography including: Promise Everything, Colourmeinkindness and I Wish I Could Stay Here. I doubt anyone would want to read my incoherent Top 100 of the decade, so I have picked one of my favourite albums of theirs from the past decade, Beside Myself. Once again, you just can’t go wrong with a darker narrative within an album accompanied by a relatively upbeat sound. This album doesn’t mess around, it includes interesting combinations of smart lyrics which are complemented with mood matching music, creating an easy-listening and enjoyable experience. I doubt I could ever get sick of this album.
Top Tracks: Disconnect, Be Here Now, Nothing Left, Stigmata, Slip Away
If you like: Title Fight, Balance and Composure, Seahaven.
Listen to our decade wrapped over on Spotify!
Written by Helena Barnett
[More decade round ups here]
#helena barnett#top 10s of 2010s#top 10 of the decade#sleeping with sirens#sws#blink 182#ben howard#mayday parade#The Story So Far#jake bugg#neck deep#city of the sun#trophy eyes#basement
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we were going through a sort of imaginative prayer today at this jr core retreat. the idea was to have this conversation with Jesus. the first prompt was to close your eyes and put yourself somewhere youre comfortable in whether it be at home or at some paradise
it took a lot of tries to see where i was with Jesus. first it was the fence in front of the house at night, which was where i went w andrew after i walked out of my moms car and ran off. then it was the godspell set and all four of the people i saw it with were there. then it was just me and the guy who played Jesus. then it was my emo corner in the church. i settled on the white bench beside the door and gate at the light house. it was hard to have a conversation with him. the only image i would see of Jesus was that of my role models and spiritual leaders like chavez or andrew or geo or that guy who played Jesus in godspell. i probably shouldnt be doing all this name dropping. one of the prompts was to look Jesus in the eye during your conversation. there were reminders throughout to keep breathing and looking in Jesuss eyes but the entire time it was the eyes of,, them yknow. i eventually got in the vibe of it and it was flashing in and out but i was there. this was the reading they were saying (it was around the time i had already started the convo). its one of the two options of Gospel readings we had during pentecost sunday this year. i heard it yesterday during tntt but i never wrapped my head around it. i have a soft spot for pentecost in my heart bc it always seemed so changing. the apostles were a mess and fire happened and i felt from day 1 it was a day of change and courage and confirmation.
JN 15:26-27; 16:12-15
Jesus said to his disciples:
"When the Advocate comes whom I will send you from the Father,
the Spirit of truth that proceeds from the Father, “Spirit of truth”. God asked me if i knew he loved me. i said yes. i then asked him why i couldnt love him. thats the first time i admitted to myself that.
he will testify to me.
And you also testify,
because you have been with me from the beginning. “you also testify” i thought about the fact that ive wanted to do testimonies for so long. how i dont have the courage to and how i dont have enough to say. i asked God again why i didnt love him. “because you have been with me from the beginning” im probably interpreting this wrong but ig i felt like God was giving me a high five for believing in him and that i knew hes been there since day 1. that i stayed here even if i didnt feel authentic or worth.
"I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. this one hurt. its stupid but i thought of it as God not being able to tell me why i couldnt love him. i do i think. i dont know how to feel it and i dont know how to act on it through prayer but i believe in God. im just bad at this. the better interpretatino of this is probably to say ‘hey man right now you dont know why youre so apathetic and unfeeling towards God. hell tell you eventually’
But when he comes, the Spirit of truth,
he will guide you to all truth.
He will not speak on his own,
but he will speak what he hears, didn’t think much during abt this part. was focused on the whole ‘God aint telling you the truth yet’
and will declare to you the things that are coming. hopefully my death? i want nothing more than to be rid of my inability to focus on what matters
He will glorify me,
because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.
Everything that the Father has is mine;
for this reason I told you that he will take from what is mine
and declare it to you." this ones. oof. “take from what is mine and declare it to you” i heard Jesus say hed give me the love he has for humanity to me. i heard my dad saying that everything he owned, money or otherwise, was mine to have. the love Jesus has for humanity. dang.
my mindset in the faith is wrong i know it. this was such a weird prayerful raw moment for me though i needed to write it down somewhere. i cant forget this one. i dont know what it means to love God and i dont know if i do. i mean i know i do but at the same time all these actions and genuine forgetting of him. yikes. i dont know. its not just “hey i dont talk to you anymore i dont love you anymore”. i dont know how to explain it. the sharing of love Jesus has for humanity really comforted me though. i don tknow what to do with all of this i feel so lost and scared and stupid and damned to hell.
#james babbles#may 2018#additional things i told Jesus b4 hearing the gospel reading#i dont want to talk abt this bc that means i get fixed and if i get fixed i live and have to burden others#if i kill myself im damned#if i lived im cursed#why do i have this body#why cant i just focus on you and be good
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