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depravitycentral · 11 months

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Yandere! Feitan Portor NSFW Profile

Yandere! Feitan Portor x fem! reader

Tw: mentions of non/dub-con, stalking, masturbation, kidnapping, spit, drool, lots and lots of cum, Feitan is gross and icky and comes in your conditioner I'm so sorry, seriously this one is pretty gross I apologize now, bondage, ropes, blood, period sex, consumption of period blood, Stockholm Syndrome, a few mentions of reader having pubic hair, mentions of premature ejaculation, Feitan has intimacy issues, a touch of sadomasochism, dry humping, blindfolds, begging, edging, overstimulation, there's a lot going on, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 12K (oh my god)

HABITS:

Even amongst the Troupe, Feitan is particularly emotionally stunted.

Of course, he knows about relationships, about the intimacy that ensues - he’s never personally fucked anyone, but he knows how it goes, what it’s like (at least, in theory), how it’s supposed to feel. He’s just never wanted to - his libido is actually quite low, and although he’s spent nights tossing and turning in bed, cock throbbing and aching for attention, he’s never felt the urge to find some random woman for a fun, stress relieving night.

Sure, he’s jerked off more times than he can count, and he’s been to more strip clubs with Phinks and Uvogin than he’d care to admit. He’s been around it his whole life, even from a young age as a child in Meteor City - so yes, he knows about sex.

He’s just never been able to tolerate someone long enough to consider sleeping with them, much less actively wanting to sleep with them. And yet, once you step into his life, Feitan finds himself uncomfortably aroused by the idea of letting his hands wander your body, of seeing the way your pretty face would scrunch up in pleasure, of hearing your little moans and yelps when he kisses you and sinks his teeth in just a bit too hard.

Once his obsession with you forms and he begins moving past some of those initial mental barriers, Feitan finds himself beginning to crave you intimately, physically, sexually. And, just as the rest of his feelings for you, he hates it at first.

He hates how just a simple thought of you has his body growing hot, the collar of his jacket uncomfortably tight as he shifts his weight, trying to ignore the way blood is steadily rushing south.

He hates how just a simple look from you, with your eyes all innocent yet sultry, makes him gulp a bit, his fingers twitching at his side. He doesn’t like how he can’t control his body’s reaction to you, but it’s not like he can help it - it’s instinctual, primal, carnal, as if his body is recognizing that you’re the chosen one for him to fornicate with, as if you’re the only one worthy of his sexual attention.

Feitan doesn’t like this change in developments much, but quickly he finds himself at a crossroads; he can spend nearly every night staring at the black of his ceiling, laying in bed and glancing down at the massive tent in the sheets centered around his crotch, or he can give in and get working, letting his hand run along the length of his cock all with you on his mind.

He doesn’t feel guilty about masturbating to you, per se, but there is this weird sense of embarrassment that sits heavy in his chest as he exhales shakily and spreads the bead of precum along his shaft. There is this weird feeling like he’s doing something bad, something naughty, as if you’d be disgusted if you were to ever find out.

It makes him feel strange, but he almost likes it - it’s a thrill he gets, particularly to the knowledge that you’d probably be disgusted to know he wrings himself dry (often more than once at a time) nearly every night, all with the mental image of you naked, writhing and stuffing your fingers into that warm, wet, oh so fucking tight cunt of yours.

He’d never admit, but he’d give anything to be your fingers, to feel the sensation of being inside you, even if it was only for a few moments. (That’d probably be enough to make come the first time he fucks you, anyways.)

Once he gives in to getting off with you in mind, Feitan finds himself fucking his fist frequently, frantically, his hips thrusting into his hand faster and rougher the longer he goes on, the longer the image of you crying his name and clenching down around his cock plays behind his eyelids.

He wraps his hand around his girth and immediately starts violently pumping his fist up and down, until he’s eventually stuttering your name and coming, sending spurts of cum flying up onto his chest, the white staining his pale chest. It feels good, or at least good enough to satisfy him for the moment, up until he ends up palming himself through his pants the next night.

It’s a never ending cycle, and frankly it leaves Feitan frustrated – it’s just not enough. The thought of you is more than enough, really, to functionally get him shooting ropes of cum out of his swollen, needy tip, but there’s this part of him buried deep inside that needs more, something to make him feel like it’s really you he’s touching and fucking.

It’s not enough to be the one touching himself, when he knows it would feel different if it was your soft hand, your warm lips, your tight walls. He needs something more, something more intimate and personal and you in order to really get himself off, to really feel connected to you in the way he craves.

And so, Feitan makes a discovery one evening that changes everything; he has a penchant for sneaking into your room after you’ve fallen asleep, the dismal security of your apartment something he’s simultaneously grateful and irritated with you for. He likes to just watch you sleeping, those dark eyes taking in every detail about your unconscious form, all exposed for his viewing pleasure without you even knowing it.

He always shuffles closer the longer he watches, his feet taking just a tiny step every once in a while, just because he can smell you better when he’s closer, see more detail in your skin and features, and it’s only after he’s crept his way right up to your side that he notices it. He should be disgusted, he thinks, when he sees the bit of drool slipping past your lips, your slumber deep enough that you haven’t noticed the wet pool of it against your pillow.

He should be grimacing and scooting away, revolted by something so gross, but instead Feitan finds his eyes getting caught on the way your lips are just slightly parted, the wetness against your chin shining ever so slightly in the pale moonlight.

He doesn’t really know why he does it, but soon his fingers are reaching out, lightly brushing against your lip, a sharp inhale audible as he feels the warm wetness of your saliva against his fingertips. He’ll retract his hand, staring with narrowed eyes, before slowly, carefully bringing his fingers to his own mouth, slipping them past his lips, letting his eyes flutter closed because he’s tasting you.

It’s euphoric, your spit sweet and leaving the perfect tang on his tongue, and suddenly Feitan’s reaching into his jacket pockets, frantically searching for the vial he keeps on hand, just in case he needs a bit of blood from a victim or enemy. He gulps when he finally pulls it out, wiping at it to rid it of any remaining blood, before carefully bringing the glass up to your face, positioning it right below your chin so that the next bit of drool to drip out of your mouth lands in the vial rather than on your pillow.

It’s a slow process, filling it up, but Feitan’s committed, spending every night sitting beside your bed, watching you sleep and seeing the glass slowly fill with your drool, collected all for him. And when he finally has enough? Well, it’s easy to transition from slowly dipping his fingers in the vial and letting his tongue glide over them to letting the spit cover other areas of his body, even if the mere idea makes him scoff while a blush settles over the bridge of his nose.

It’s not until one night, though, that he finally takes the plunge, crossing a line he can never recover from. He’d been particularly pent up, his cock absolutely swollen, aching and desperate for release, and his fist was just not enough. Even as he pounded away, biting his lip and furrowing his thin brows, the pleasure just wouldn’t come.

His eyes wander from his ceiling down to his dresser, zeroing in on the glass vial sitting so innocently, so provocatively, practically taunting him to come closer. He’s snatching up the glass before he can really think, sitting back down and tearing the top off, his fingers moving faster than he can process.

Soon, he’s dipping them in, swirling them a bit to make sure they’re really covered, but instead of bringing them to his lips, his hands travel south - gripping onto his cock, the wet coolness making him hiss through his teeth. He brings his wrist up, your saliva slowly smearing along his shaft, leaving it wet and twitching in the cold air of his bedroom, visibly throbbing as he runs his thumb over his slit, making sure to absolutely drench himself with your spit.

His eyes slide shut, head rolled back slightly as he moves his hand at a steady, painfully slow pace, trying to calm his heart rate because this is so very different from before. It’s different, if only because it’s you - your saliva is letting his hand move smoother, your saliva coating his skin, you helping him to get off. It makes him feel dizzy, the familiar coil in his stomach appearing embarrassingly quickly as he speeds up his fist, images of you playing behind his eyes.

He can’t help but imagine you on your knees before him, staring up at him with those pretty eyes, all wide and glassy and yearning, with your hands tied behind your back and your lips parted, pink tongue lolled out and waiting for him to fill that tight throat of yours. He grunts, squeezing at his tip, digging his fingers back through the vial to refresh the supply of your drool, and in his mind he’s slowly tracing your lips with the head, smearing his precum along your skin as you clench your thighs together and hum, practically begging him to facefuck you.

Feitan hunches forward slightly as his wrist moves even faster, hand flying up and down his shaft, wet noises accompanying every jerk all caused by the excessive wetness he’s coated himself with, the feeling of your spit exactly what he’d be feeling if he was actually stuffing your little mouth, dark hairs tickling your cheeks and nose as he pushes your head all the way down, so that his tip is nestled down your throat.

He lets out a guttural groan at that, a strained noise that makes him grimace, but he can’t help it - his orgasm is approaching, and he can’t help but listen to the wet squelching noises and imagine your gags and sharp breaths accompanying them, his toes curling. It feels so good, a building warmth in his naval that only grows bigger, stronger, more insistent, and all too soon he’s imagining the way you’d present your face to him when he pulls out and strokes himself over your face, cum spurting from his tip and landing in rivulets all along your cheeks, lips, nose, even getting into your hair.

You’d look so good, all messy and out of breath and covered in him him him, just as he is you.

He bares his teeth as he feels himself right on the edge, his fingers clutching onto the vial so tightly he nearly shatters it, his cock bobbing and throbbing, balls clenching as he curls in on himself, small chants of your name mumbled under breath and then he’s coming, cum spraying everywhere as he gasps, hips bucking involuntarily into the air, chasing after his fist with every pump, aching to be releasing inside you, where it belongs.

He takes a moment to come down from his high, chest heaving and eyes wide, staring down at the vial in his shaking hand, the weight of his orgasm shocking him. He’d never come so hard, like every muscle in his body was spasming, the pleasure nearly overwhelming. His eyes flick over to the clock, and he splutters, seeing the time.

3:08, meaning only three minutes had passed since he’d snatched up the vial, feeling your spit against his skin, feeling you against the sensitive skin of his cock.

His eyes close, his breath finally evening out, before he’s carefully setting the vial aside, recapping it and laying onto his back, trying to process why the hell he’d come so fast with something as grotesque as your spit to help him. He’s not sure, but then the images return of you on your knees for him, face still covered in his release and telling him that you want more, please Feitan, will you give me more?

He groans as he feels his softening cock suddenly begin growing once more, his hips twitching as he reaches down to lightly grope at his balls, swallowing and deciding whether to dip his fingers into the vial yet again - he only has a limited supply, after all, and he’d be needing it again tomorrow night when he inevitably lets his mind wander to thoughts of you tied up and begging for him.

He grumbles, a strained sort of sound, before getting to work once more, spitting into his hand and letting a small, barely there smile grace his lips, the slight flush still high on his cheeks. He’d have to get some more, he decided, because this?

Well, fucking you was surely better, but Feitan would be a food to not capitalize on this new discovery - and when he’s painting his chest with ribbons of cum again a few minutes later, he decides that he’ll never go back to not having something of yours to aid him while he gets off.

It’s just more intimate this way, better, like you’re really there - like you’re really naked and ready to fulfill every need, desire and fantasy of his.

Like you want him.

FAVORITE BODY PARTS:

Your face

In general, Feitan thinks you’re attractive. He’s hesitant to say beautiful or pretty or really anything of the sort, if only because the way he feels for you is a bit more complicated than that.

You’re not just pretty; you’re alluring, someone that always seems to catch his eye no matter how hard he tries to stop it.

You’re not beautiful; objectively, there’s nothing about you that he hasn’t seen in hundreds of other women, whether it be your hair, your lips, your figure, or anything else. (Except maybe your eyes, or maybe your smile - things that are just so unapologetically you, things that Feitan thinks he could recognize with his eyes closed.)

You’re nothing particularly special, physically speaking, and yet there’s something about you that he just can’t shake, some involuntarily thing that motivates him to always have his eyes on you, his body unconsciously facing you, his senses just so very aware of you. And because Feitan spends so much time simply watching you, he’s become extremely well antiquated with your features, with your pretty face that always seems to pull him in, like a moth to a flame.

He’s memorized the way your lips curve, the soft skin puckering and moving with every word you say, and he often finds his gaze flicking down to watch while you talk, eyes sitting there idly as he lets his mind wander to what else you can do with those lips, what other shapes they can make.

He’s studied every slope of your nose, the shape seeming to fit your face perfectly, and he even finds himself turning his lip when he sees models or celebrities with the same nasal structure - it doesn’t look nearly as good on them as it does you.

And of course, your eyes - he’s spent more hours than he can count looking into them, unwilling to break the eye contact as he stares, fascinated with the color, how they shine in the light, how sunlight seems to make them glow, making you glow.

So while there’s not any particular thing Feitan can say makes you attractive, you just are - enough so that he’s found himself seeing flashing images of your face late at night, when he’s unable to sleep and polishing his weapons, letting his mind wander and inevitably stumble into thoughts of you. He’ll relive the way you look when you smile - your grin is wide, teeth exposed, the pretty skin of your lips all stretched to accommodate your joy.

You look good like that, and all too soon his innocent thought process of you is slipping into something sinister, something dirty and risqué, because now he’s imagining the way you’d smile up at him when he’s got you underneath him, your pretty little pleas and desperate begs for him to touch you making his skin tingle and his throat feel stuffy.

He’s imagining the way you’d lick your lips when he tells you to get on your knees, his cock mere inches from your face as he strokes himself, the eagerness and hunger in your eyes making him rush forward and bury himself down your throat in one go.

He’s imagining the way you’d look when he’s got you creaming on his cock, face pressed against the mattress and a mixture of tears and drool slipping down your chin, the pleasure just too much, even while your hips grind back on him, wanting more more more.

He just likes your face, finding it oddly pleasing, and when the two of you are intimate, he finds himself eagerly searching out your facial expressions as often as possible - it’s the way he knows what you like, if you’re enjoying what he’s doing to you, if he’s doing a good job.

So really, exaggerate the expressions, make it clear exactly what you’re feeling, and Feitan will be over the fucking moon - pounding into you with a new vigor, a sudden resolve to get you coming at least twice before he’s done with you. You’re just too attractive for him to resist, and he’s only a man, after all.

His hands

In general, Feitan is a fan of showing his feelings rather than articulating them, and even then only to an extent.

There’s only so far he’s willing to expose his vulnerability, and it just becomes easier and less scary to just show you, to let his actions speak louder. And despite it taking a very, very long time for him to grow comfortable enough to actually act on this philosophy, one of the first ways that he’ll settle into touching you is with his hands.

They’re rough, the skin calloused and scarred, pale fingers just the slightest bit off in certain spots, evidence of the multitudes of times he’s broken them. His fingers are lithe, nimble, quick and dexterous, evidence of his abilities with swords and the various tools he uses for work. And so, once he turns his hands onto you, you’ll notice all these things.

It starts small - a fleeting feeling of his fingers pressing against the small of your back, merely a ghost of a touch that leaves you wondering if you really felt anything at all.

He’ll reach out to flick at your forehead if you do something dumb (something endearing, but dumb), glaring at you and telling you to stop it, though his fingers are tingling where they made contact with your skin.

He’ll lightly lay his hand on your hip, or on your thigh, keeping it there for a few moments before snatching it back to his own side, his hand flexing and the muscles tightening up because god, did you like that? Did you like it when he touched you?

He gets in his head way too much about how you react to his touch, but the truth is that Feitan is incredibly touch starved, particularly when it comes to any sort of positive or romantic touch.

He’s a criminal and has grown up in horrible conditions, and he’s simply never cared. But now that you’re here, someone for him to live out all those cliche, stupid romantic tropes? Well, he can’t directly ask for your affection, but you’ll notice the way his hands lay on your body for just a beat too long, just enough to make you wonder whether that touch was really as innocent as he seems to think it was (it’s not, at least not as much as he wishes - every time his skin brushes yours, this spark of electricity dances up his spine, making him gulp and tense up, because while the feeling blooming in his chest is warm and good, it’s still foreign, still something he hasn’t quite gotten used to yet).

And even once he reaches the stage where he’s grown comfortable enough with the concept of being intimate with you to actually touch you, he still relies heavily on his hands. Particularly, Feitan grows an affinity for fingering you - he loves the way your cunt just seems to suck his fingers in, as if your body is begging for more and more of him, craving his touch and the pleasure only he can give you.

He’ll experiment a lot with you at first, curling his fingers or scissoring them, dark eyes appraising your face and checking for any changes in expression that could hint at what rhythm or area you like.

(You’ll wonder where he learned some of the motions he tries out on you - he’ll never admit to watching porn to learn some ideas, nor that he practiced them before trying them out on you, his hand sandwiched between two pillows as he diligently curled them, perfecting the ‘come hither’ motion or letting his thumb practice rubbing tight, firm circles against the cotton. No, he’d rather die than have you learn that - you can’t know how badly he wants to please you, after all.)

He likes to watch his fingers dipping inside you, the way they emerge all wet and glistening, a ring of white sitting right above his knuckles and filling him with pride.

(Often, he finds himself idly staring at his fingers after you’ve fallen asleep, your body sore and exhausted after the fucking he’d put you through. He’ll spread them, staring from all angles, remembering the feeling of your wet heat around them, how your walls clamped down on him, even how your lips and tongue flicked across them when he’d shoved them into your mouth earlier. He’ll bring them to his lips, idly sucking on them, trying in vain to get every last drop of you off of them, so that he can taste you for just a moment longer, just to satisfy himself for as long as he can.)

He’s a late bloomer and it will take him a long while to reach the point of being willing to touch you sexually (though he wants to from pretty much the get-go, much to his embarrassment), but once he does, you’d better get used to the feeling of his hands against your skin - after all, he’s insistent, and you do not want to reject his touch. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll just moan and sigh and tell him it feels good, because Feitan is just so much more agreeable when he’s happy - you’ll get to come that way, too.

DRIVE:

Generally speaking, Feitan’s libido has never been especially high. Sex has never been a priority for him, and even once his days as a Troupe member begin, this doesn’t change. He doesn’t see the attraction to sleeping around, to fucking random women just for a few minutes of fleeting pleasure.

It’s just so much work to be around others, to have to communicate and hear their complaining when he doesn’t put effort into making them feel good – it’s just not fun, not something he wants to spend his time with. And so, while Feitan is certainly no saint, he doesn’t actively seek out sexual partners. And he especially doesn’t seek out touching another person, letting himself be touched, becoming vulnerable in any possible way.

So, once you step into his life, this self-inflicted celibacy doesn’t really change all that much. Of course, the idea of touching you is significantly more attractive than it would be to touch a random stranger, but Feitan is still not especially eager to fuck you once his obsession develops.

He’s a bit of a late bloomer, taking a while to let his emotions warm up to you. In doing so, it takes a long, long time for his sexual urges towards you to appear, because Feitan prides himself on having good self control. But once he fully gives in to the fact that he wants you, in a way that’s entirely new and scary and foreign to him, the urges begin appearing.

The idly thoughts wondering what you’re wearing, what you’re thinking about, if you’re in the mood… He’s still not as horny as some of his fellow Troupe members, but Feitan begins regularly imagining fucking you, the thoughts seemingly popping out of nowhere and completely unannounced.

Frankly, it’s irritating; why is he imagining you without a shirt on when Phinks is telling him about the latest job Chrollo had paired them up for? (It’s a pain in the ass to hide the slowly growing tent in his trousers from the blond - he always just seems to know, and Feitan would rather die than be subjected to the never ended teasing.)

Why is he imagining the way your lips would feel wrapped around his cock when he’s slicing off that man’s head, the cut clean and clear yet the only thing he can think of being how your cheeks would hollow as you suck?

It’s annoying, and although he tries to fight it at first, he eventually gives up. There’s only so much he can stop himself from imagining, and as his obsession grows deeper, the perverse fantasies he holds towards you only grow more numerous, more pronounced, more longed for. He finds himself actively wanting to be intimate with you, and while he won’t act on that desire for a very long time, it’s left to quality sit, festering and brewing inside him until one day it’s all just too much, a dam bursting that forces him to finally take that last step, to let himself rest a hand on you or brush his lips against your cheek or graze his finger along your nipple.

He doesn’t move very fast, but Feitan’s in no rush - after all, you’re stuck with him for the rest of your life, and he’ll be the only other human you’ll ever interact with. By the time he’s ready to progress your relationship forward, you’ll likely have come around, desperate enough for human contact that you’ll want him to touch you, that you’ll want to touch him back.

Just the thought makes him gulp and flex his fingers, excitement and anxiety settling into his stomach, his cock growing half hard even as his mind winces.

However, because he has so many issues surrounding intimacy and vulnerability, Feitan will likely never actually force you into anything.

Because you’re likely to come around and develop Stockholm Syndrome by the time he’s ready to touch you, you’ll be more than eager to let his hand rest on your waist, or to let him stand behind you so that your ass is pressed against his crotch, the tent in his pants more than apparent. You’ll be ready, but until he’s ready, he has to find alternatives.

Because he’s still frequently experiencing sexual urges towards you way before he’s willing to act on them, Feitan finds himself quite sexually frustrated. He has all these dirty thoughts, all these possessive, insistent feelings urging him to just take you, to stake his claim on you by stuffing you full of his cock and cum, and he has to release them somehow.

And so, he falls back on a method that he isn’t necessarily proud of, but does find some sick, twisted sense of pride and amusement from. That is, because he’s the one supplying literally everything to you once you’re trapped under his roof, it’s not so hard to tamper with some of the ingredients of your essentials.

Your conditioner, for instance; he buys you the brand you love (something he tells you is coincidence but most certainly isn’t), and as he opens the cap and smells it one day while you’re asleep in the next room over, he can’t help but notice how creamy it is, how thick and how white it is.

It make shim gulp, and after quickly making sure to lock the bedroom door you’re trapped behind, Feitan shakily returns to the bathroom, exhaling deeply. It’s just a coincidence that the conditioner resembles something that he produces, right?

It’s an amusing twist of fate that your favorite conditioner (with the scent he can only describe as you) looks almost exactly like his cum, right?

Feitan thinks so, and as his mind wanders back to the little stunt you’d pulled earlier in the day, he finds himself settling onto the closed toilet lid, reaching into his pants and pulling out his cock, already drooling precum and sensitive to the touch.

You’d been laying on your bed, blanket barely covering your body as you slept, the skimpy pajamas you’d fallen asleep in in disarray on your figure. Your shirt had bunched up, letting one pert, supple breast slip out, your nipple on display, not even the blanket managing to cover it up.

(He’d froze when he noticed, slowly creeping closer, licking his lips and unable to stop staring.)

And those damn sleeping shorts, always getting moved around and never quite sitting right on your hips when you wake up, were twisted a bit, the holes for your legs angled just right so that if he looked the right way, he could see the very edge of your cunt, one lip covered with pretty pubic hairs, looking soft and warm and so fuckable.

You were asleep, and somewhere in Feitan’s mind he knows you weren’t doing it on purpose, but it’s hard not to blame you for being so indecent, for hoping to tempt Feitan into giving in. You’re such a fucking minx, all teasing and daring to show off your assets, and how was Feitan supposed to react to this? How was he not supposed to immediately grow aroused and flustered, unable to tare his gaze from your vulnerable body?

Eventually he’d managed to, shutting the door behind him and taking a few uneven breaths, trying desperately to not replay the image of your breast over and over in his mind. It’s no use, however, and as he splashes his face with cold water in the bathroom, that’s when his eyes land on the conditioner bottle.

His hand moves fast as he fucks his fist, hissing under his breath over and over as he steadily gets closer, driven forward by the idea of lewd it will be to have his cum in something as personal as you conditioner.

He can’t stop thinking about how you’d have no idea, waltzing around with his cum soaked into your pretty hair, maybe even making you smell like him - He’s groaning, the thoughts pushing him closer and closer to the edge, his orgasm hurtling forward as he imagines the way you’d lather it in your hands, humming and making sure every square inch of your hair is covered in it, covered in him.

He imagines the way you’d bring it up to your nose and deeply inhale, sighing because it’s your favorite scent, wondering why it smells a bit more musky than you remember, but not minding. Maybe you’d even like the new scent, and just the thought of that is enough to push him over the edge, a sharp growl slipping past his lips as he aims his cock right into the bottle, cum spraying all over the conditioner, the white colors matching perfectly.

He’s breathing hard, a seemingly never ending series of spurts coming from his swollen tip, and once he thinks he’s done, he grasping his length and lightly shaking it, lodging any loose bits of cum out, coaxing them to join the pile. Once done, he’ll gulp, letting a small smirk slip onto his lips as he closes the bottle, shutting the lid tight and shake the bottle, making sure to thoroughly mix it.

He won’t tell you about his little ‘gift’, of course not - but you’ll know something is up when he’s standing stiff as you exit the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body and wet hair having been marinating in the special mixture he made for you, and when he’s eagerly sniffing your head every chance he gets after that, you’ll have to realize something is amiss.

When he’s asking you if your hair feels particularly soft, you’ll have to know he’s trying to get at something, some layer underneath the surface that he’s really speaking about.

It’s enough to satisfy him for the time being, his possessiveness over you quelling ever so slightly because even though it’s not in your cunt, where it belongs, at least he’s got his cum somewhere on you - and until he’s ready to fuck you properly, that’ll have to do. It’ll become habit, and one day you may even stumble upon him midway through the process, your conditioner bottle an inch or so from his tip as he frantically tugs and pulls.

(He’ll freeze, unable to process that he got caught, and frankly, he’ll just try to ignore that you ever saw it, not willing to broach the topic - and you won’t be either, because what the fuck?)He just really, really desires you, and Feitan is a resourceful man - so I hope you like the smell of musk and a bit of iron, because you’ll be smelling like it for weeks.

MAIN THREE KINKS:

Orgasm Control

In general, Feitan has to be in control in the bedroom. It’s not that he’s particularly onto any dominant or submissive roles between the sheets, but more because he doesn’t like the feeling of vulnerability that accompanies letting other people pleasure him. Something about being at the mercy of someone else’s touch or whims makes him nervous, an unpleasant feeling blooming in his stomach that leaves him fidgety and jumpy.

And so, every sexual interaction with you will see him starring as the dominant role, always calling the shots, and nothing exemplifies this sentiment quite like the way he treats your orgasms. Despite not having a huge amount of sexual experience prior to his infatuation with you, he’s very obviously aware that both partners are capable of orgasming in any given sexual interaction, that it should be expected and achieved regardless of methodology.

With other women, Feitan wouldn’t care in the least – he’s selfish by nature, and if he were to ever have sex with anyone other than you, in no way, shape or form would he pay any mind to their pleasure, only chasing after his own release.

But with you, this sentiment is a bit different; he wants to get you off, if only because seeing the way your body responds to him, shaking and shivering and moaning and clenching, gets him harder, his breath more ragged, his palms sweatier. There’s something incredibly pleasing about seeing the way your body is sensitive to his every touch that makes him giddy, an odd mixture of power, arousal and eagerness filling him.

He wants to make you a mess, to get you gushing and creaming and whimpering as he fingers you, as he shoves his cock inside you, even as he tongues at your clit (eating you out isn’t something that happens often, but when it does, Feitan expects you to come from it). He likes the sight of you falling apart for him, and consequently, that desperation for power and control comes hurtling back – so that he is the one in control of your orgasms.

He wants to be the one choosing when, how, and why you’re coming, every one of your movements a result of him.

He tends to rely heavily on edging you, enjoying the way you squirm and beg for him to keep going. He’ll have two slender, nimble fingers buried inside of you, curling and scissoring, the stretch a bit painful but in a pleasure-tinged way, making your toes curl and your bottom lip catch between your teeth.

His thumb will rub consistent, steady circles at your clit, the little nub sore and swollen, and he’ll keep his ministrations up until you’re breathing heavier, your stomach and thighs clenching, the telltale signs that you’re nearing your high.

(He’s very, very good at reading your body when it comes to your sexual pleasure – he’s spent so long stalking you that he’s seen you touching yourself more times than he can count, and while watching the way your cunt takes the toy is very, very difficult to tear his eyes away from, he’d made sure to study every other part of your body, too. He’s watched the way your face morphs as you get closer, your brows shooting up and your lips parting a bit, your eyes fluttering and threatening to close as the pleasurable knot in your gut grows tighter and tighter and tighter. He’s watched the way your legs shake, the muscles in your thighs visibly twitching and clenching, trying desperately to close and clench together, prompting him to imagine how they’d feel around his head, around his waist, around his cock. He’s even noticed your breathing, how you sound, the way your voice gets higher and more breathy, your moans increasing in intensity until you let out this sudden, strained gasp that gets him swallowing harshly, a thick pearl of precum dripping from his tip from the mere sound.)

He’s constantly observing you even while he's intimate with you, those dark eyes never wavering from your form, and he’ll bring you right to the edge, noticing with a tightness in his throat that your legs are starting to tremble, that your voice is climbing up, that you’re starting to get all gaspy and your abdominal muscles are clenching, and god, you’re squeezing around his fingers so damn tight –

The confused, desperate whine you let out when he suddenly pulls his fingers out of you makes him smirk a bit, the way your watery eyes blearily blink up at him, half clouded in lust and disappointment making him reach out to pinch at your pebbled nipple. Not yet, one more time. He’ll tell you, laughing a bit as you whine and gulp, chest heaving and your fingers twitching. He’ll make you wait, maybe even reaching down and jerking himself off a bit, making a show of hissing under his breath and making sure that you can see him, hearing the wet noises as he flicks his wrist and imagines it’s your sweet little pussy wrapped around him rather than his own fingers.

He’s embarrassingly sensitive when he does this, his own touch making him buck his hips as he stares down at you, spread before him, underneath him, where you belong. He’ll make sure to give enough time that you come down from your sensitivity, before resuming his ministrations, making you gasp and bite your lip.

He’ll keep doing this over and over and over, denying you of your orgasm some five or so times before he finally, finally decides that you’ve behaved well enough, that you deserve to feel good. (Often, what finally gets him to cave in is the fact that he too is very close, and while it’s cliché and stupid and a bit pathetic, he really likes it when you both come at the same time, your orgasms matching up so he can feel like you’re doing it together.)

He’ll work you through it, not stopping his motions, which brings up another aspect of how Feitan likes to tease you and assert his control over you – he doesn’t like overstimulation quite as much as denial, but he’s not shy about going faster, harder, his motions seeming almost frantic as you start whining and shaking, going on about how it’s too much, Feitan it’s too much I can’t!

He’ll just growl and shut you down, slapping (not too hard) your clit and seeing you way you jerk, telling you to shut up and take it, you’ve done it before. He likes seeing your eyes get all teary, your body spasming and shaking even harder, the overstimulation making you cry out his name with a renewed fervor.

(He’d never admit it, but that’s one of his favorite parts – he never pegged himself to be a fan of loud moans, but there’s something about the way that you do it, when it’s his name you’re moaning, that makes him throb, his cock twitching without any stimulation. You sound so destroyed, so wrecked and utterly desperate for him that it makes his head spin, his chest filling with pride and lust and satisfaction because you do need him, and your body is just proving that.)

He’s cruel, often pulling three or four orgasms from you every time he touches you, those dark eyes staring unblinking down at you, almost studying you as you fall apart on his cock, on his fingers, on anything he chooses. It makes him feel good to know that he’s in full control, that he can choose when you come – it shows his place above you, helping him to justify the fact that he’s pleasuring you, that he’s taking the time and effort to make you feel good when he really doesn’t need to.

He’s just being generous – you should be grateful he even cares about your pleasure at all.

(Say thank you to him as you orgasm and he’s gone – cum is dripping down your skin or out of your pretty hole before you can process what’s even happening, the man above you gasping and heaving, trying desperately to make sure you don’t see the slight red staining his cheeks.)

He wants you to follow his commands, so just let him do as he pleases – you’ll come eventually, most of the time.

Bondage

Tying into his preferences for holding control in the bedroom, Feitan has a certain affinity for seeing you restrained.

There’s something about the way your body is presented to him when you’re all tied up that gets him feeling hot, his hands twitching and yearning to reach out and touch you. He’s not picky about what he uses to bind you – the tried and true rope is never displeasing, and the variety of pretty knots and positions he can force you into this way leave him nearly drooling at all the different sexual fantasies he can carry out with you.

He’s particularly fond of tying you up in ways that are just the slightest bit humiliating, positions that make your neck and cheeks feel hot, embarrassment eating away at you because god, everything is exposed.

He likes when your legs are spread, a bit of rope keeping your calves firmly pressed to your thighs while your pussy is exposed to open air, the perfect amount of space between your legs for him to slip into. He likes when your breasts are free, jiggling and bouncing with every thrust, the rope digging into your sternum or ribcage as you moan and writhe.

(He also likes when the rope crisscrosses over your chest, digging into your nipple and making you whine in pain and pleasure, and when he undoes the ropes, he loves the way your nipples are so sore and swollen, a much darker color than they normally are and practically begging to be pinched at, to be twisted and pulled on until you’re a sniffly, moaning mess.)

He’ll often tie your wrists together behind your back, rope connecting from your waist to the back of your knees, keeping your legs bent while he forces your ass into the air, mounting you from behind and absolutely destroying you.

Rope is his favorite, if only because there’s something so familiar, so comforting in using it – of course, he never desires to fuck any of his victims, but he knows how to manipulate the material in order to get you bent the way he wants you to be.

And while he has no desire to do anything to you that he would to those he tortures, there’s something oddly sexy and taboo about the fact that he’s using the same kind of rope on you as he did to the man the other day. It’s dirty, sinful, if only because this is as close as he can come to mixing two of the things he loves most – you, and his job.

You’re safe this way, not liable to be cut or maimed or anything of the sort, but you’re still utterly at his hands, vulnerable to every whim or desire he wishes to enact on you. He likes how helpless you are when you’re tied up, unable to reach out or take control of your own pleasure, entirely reliant on him to do everything for you – something as big as stretching you out on his cock, or as small as pushing away a stray piece of hair in your face as he fucks your throat.

The power trip is insane, and while he won’t hurt you, just the knowledge that he could makes him harder than he’s ever been. He’s a fan of other alternatives to rope, too – handcuffs are fine, a bit too mainstream for him to use regularly, but in a bind it’ll do.

(Especially if he’s grown more comfortable with you, willing to show a more vulnerable side, because handcuffs give him less control and allow you to actively participate in your pleasure, letting you grind back against him or wrap your legs around his waist or any number of other things that can signal that you want him too.)

Silk ties are fine, and on days where he’s feeling a bit more sentimental or emotional, he’ll prefer to use these because there’s less chance of you bruising or getting any burns or rashes. (Plus, there’s something so fitting about you being shrouded in silk – you, who’s so weak and soft and dainty, matching perfectly with the fabric. It makes him snort a bit, because you always look like such an angel when you’re all tied up for him in this way – like a beautiful, naïve little angel just begging to be destroyed and tainted by his hands, a feat he’s more eager and impatient to accomplish than he’d care to admit.)

He’s even willing to use clothing to get you restricted – maybe the shirt you’d been wearing (his shirt, one he let you borrow, the one he finds adorable on you even if he’d never tell you) will get tied around your wrists, keeping them firmly above your chest as he sinks into you and squeezes his eyes shut, biting back the moan that threatens to tumble at his lips because you’re just so damn tight.

He’ll use your panties as a gag, though he doesn’t do this often because he really does like hearing your sounds – especially when they’re any sort of praise or his name.

(Often, after he’s stuffed the panties you’d been wearing past your lips, he’ll steal them back afterwards, sneakily storing them somewhere for later, for late at night when he’s standing over your sleeping form and breathing shakily, staring at you and rubbing the material – wet with both your spit and your slick – all over his cock.)

His preference is always to have you restrained in some manner, and it’ll only be once he feels as comfortable as possible with you that he won’t tie you up. To have you free means letting himself be vulnerable to your touches, and even your rejection of his touch, and just the thought is enough to get him nervous, having to wipe his slightly sweaty hands onto his jacket.

He’s had fantasies about fucking you without any restraints separating you before, but the moment it happens, you’ll notice that he’s oddly sensitive, his breath coming out harsher and more labored at touches that would normally leave him largely unaffected. It’s just so emotional for him, so scary and frightening, and he’ll stay inside you much longer than normal after he’s come, relishing in the warmth and wetness of you while your fingers maybe brush over his shoulders, maybe even running through his hair. It’s the sort of fantasy he’ll never, ever tell you about, though – and for now, he’ll stick with tying you up so that you’re easily accessible, provoking and arousing to stare at, and in no position to argue when he manhandles you into doing exactly what he wants.

Dry humping

While he has sexual, lewd thoughts about you from pretty much the moment he truly accepts his feelings for you, Feitan takes a very long time to begin acting on those feelings.

Even more, it takes him a long time to get comfortable enough to be naked in front of you, much less actually fuck you. And so, while this hesitancy persists, he finds himself using other routes to sate his growing desire to be intimate with you – routes that are less invasive, less opportune for embarrassing accidents (like coming too fast, or facing your rejection).

And while it still feels awfully pathetic, Feitan finds that the simple act of grinding on you is enough to satisfy his desires, at least for the time being – there’s just something oddly enticing about it, something arousing and the pleasure just dull enough to thwart him from coming within three or four minutes of touching you.

He doesn’t like initiating it, though, finding it a bit too pathetic, even for him, even for the way he feels for you. Instead, he holds his breath, hoping that every time you brush against him (normally by accident, your whole body freezing up the moment you realize what you’ve done) that you’ll do it again, because even just a single bit of friction between your (fully clothed) bodies is enough to get his neck feeling warm, the ghost of an erection springing to life in his pants.

He’s just so, so touch starved, and so as time goes on, he’ll start subtly trying to get into positions where you might accidentally grind on him, sometimes without you even realizing. He’ll make you pick something up off the ground, then choose the exact moment that you’re bent over and your ass is in the air to walk behind you, letting his hips just barely graze against you.

He’ll manage to hold back the little strained noise he makes, but at some point you’ll notice that it’s happening much too often to be a coincidence, and you’ll eventually realize that the strange hardness you feel when he does this is actually him.

He won’t ever just grab you and rut into you, but god does he want to, especially when he sees your hips swaying, or when you’re sitting down, the fat of your thighs splayed out and your hips looking wide and full and perfect to grab onto.

He’s embarrassed by his own thoughts, but eventually you’ll probably realize what it is that he wants – you’ve felt the way he tries to subtly make it happen, and while you were at first confused and shocked (you’d had no idea Feitan wanted anything sexual with you, as he’d never made a mention of it or acted in a way that would suggest it), you eventually start getting a bit brave, too.

You don’t love Feitan, far from it, but you’ve been trapped with him for enough months to start craving any form of human contact, and so you’ll pounce – Feitan can’t help but sharply inhale when you grind back against him one day while you’re bent over, the feeling of your ass moving against his cock making him struggle to breath.

He’s not sure what you’re trying to do, too pessimistic to let himself believe that you’re the one grinding on him, but one day you’ll find yourself sitting next to him on the raggedy old couch, the TV playing some mindless horror movie that Feitan had thrown on, and your hand will just sort of move on its own, slowly, carefully placing itself very lightly over his thigh. He’ll tense up at the sensation, dark eyes flicking between your hand and your face, your own gaze nervously set on the TV in front of you.

It’s silent for a moment, but when he doesn’t move your hand, you’ll get braver, turning to look at him and asking in a soft, unsure voice if you can sit in his lap. Feitan doesn’t know how to respond, simply staring at you with narrowed eyes, wondering if this is some sort of trick – but eventually he’ll nod, telling you to be careful, don’t try anything.

You’ll position yourself so that your ass is pressed against his crotch, his thighs on either side of your hips, but you don’t lean back, even when you hear Feitan inhale slightly, having leaned forward to smell your hair. It’s a good twenty or so minutes later when you begin moving your hips slowly, nervously, listening to hear for any displeased noises or harsh commands for you to stop your movements.

Feitan is frozen behind you, staring at your hips and trying to understand what you’re doing – he likes it, but he doesn’t like the way his body is reacting, blood slowly starting to head south at the slight friction, at the way you’re so damn close to him, at the way he can smell you and can feel the heat radiating off your body.

It’s all too much, and suddenly he’s telling you to get off me, before quickly storming out of the room and locking himself in his bedroom.

His cock is in his hand within minutes, memories of how you’d felt against him, even with layers of clothes separating you still fresh in his mind. You’ll be left to believe he didn’t like it, that you’d totally misinterpreted his actions, ashamed and a bit afraid for how he’d respond moving forward.

Except, there’s no grand punishment, no mocking you for your actions – instead, the next night he turns on a new movie (still horror, gory and full of screaming and killing) and looks over at you expectantly.

His legs are spread this time, leaving a space between them, and for a moment you’re confused, unsure of what he wants. He just raises a brow at you, unwilling to articulate what he’s wanting, hoping you’ll understand it without him needing to say it.

You’ll shuffle closer, still staring at him, but soon he’ll just grumble, a hand reaching out and pulling you down to sit between his legs before you can even realize what’s happening. You’re stiff and unsure, unwilling to relax, and Feitan doesn’t like this. He wants you to move like you did last night, and after a few minutes of you sitting stone still, he’ll hiss into your ear do it again.

You’ll start slow, testing the waters, and you nearly jump when you feel Feitan’s hand ghost over your waist, setting his fingers against your shirt as if wanting to fully touch you, but not quite letting himself. He’ll occasionally tell you to go faster, the movie still playing in the background, the feeling of his cock digging into your tailbone making you a confusing mix of scared and aroused.

Eventually, he’ll let out this strange, unusual little sound, something like a grunt but much higher and strained, and you’ll feel something warm and wet pressing against you. Don’t mention anything, because Feitan doesn’t want you to say a damn word, not wanting to admit that the feeling of you grinding on him for roughly seven minutes has him coming in his pants, cum covering his cock and getting him all sticky.

He’s embarrassed, but it will become something of a ritual between the two of you – every time he turns on a movie, it’s your place to sit in his lap (eventually you actually will sit in his lap, fully on his lap, not just pressed against him, though this takes some time) and to gyrate your hips at that certain rhythm he likes, all up until you feel him tense up beneath you, seeing his fingers clutching at the couch cushions at your sides.

It’s a slow buildup into any sort of sexual activity between the two of you, but Feitan likes this, something about the intimacy making him extra sensitive, the feeling of you actually touching him (even peripherally, with clothes separating the two of you) making him feel lightheaded and airy. He likes it, and this will be the jumping off point for him to begin getting bolder, to begin letting himself actually fuck you, to finally do what he’s been craving for months.

And once you become aware that he likes it, please start imitating it – give him look and ask if you can um, sit in your lap?

He’ll almost always say yes, even if he’s in the middle of doing something, even if there’s not even a chair or couch nearby – he'll rush (not running, but very, very nearly) to the nearest surface, swallowing hard and staring at you, growing impatient when you don’t move fast enough for him.

Often, he’ll already be half hard, and while he prefers when your back is facing him, if you were to climb into his lap so that you were straddling him? Well, Feitan finds it much harder to look you in the eye, because now it’s your cunt grinding down on him rather than just your ass, and that’s much different, isn’t it?

Even once he’s progressed to stage of actually being willing to touch you, of being willing to let you touch him, Feitan still enjoys when you hump at him. And he particularly enjoys humping you, though he’s only willing to do this in the dead of night, when you’re fast asleep, your body ripe and vulnerable for him to touch, to explore, to use.

He doesn’t want you to be awake and see the way he crumbles when he drags his cock along the curve of your ass, if only because he doesn’t want you to see how pink his cheeks get, how he starts mumbling under his breath, how his every muscle is flexing and straining because he wants to go faster, needs to go faster, but he can’t risk waking you up.

It’s his dirty little secret, so you’d better start working on your stamina for grinding onto him – sure, he doesn’t last long, but he expects it often, and you can’t exactly refuse him.

Or else.

OTHER NOTABLE KINKS INCLUDE:

Begging

Feitan likes knowing that you want him. He feels so inferior and weak for having developed such strong, scarily dependent feelings for you, and it makes him feel good, satisfied, justified when you beg for him, all whiny and desperate for his touch, for his body, for his cock.

While he’s not particularly vocal between the sheets, he likes when you are - your voice is sultry when it gets all airy and gaspy, your little praises and pleas for him to go faster or please don’t stop making him double down and go harder, his desperation to please you driving him forward.

He won’t ever explicitly ask you to beg for anything, but you’ll be able to tell that he likes it.

You’ll see the way his eyes widen just a hair, the way his dark bangs settle over his forehead as he dips his head down, the exertion of moving his hips or wrist faster making him squeeze his eyes shut.

You’ll feel the way his thrusts get more insistent, hips slapping against yours while his balls clap against your ass, the sound lewd and only getting faster the more you beg.

You’ll be able to hear it in the way his breathing starts getting ragged, no amount of stamina adequate for hearing you beg for him, for him to touch you and pleasure you.

He wants to feel needed in the context of your sexual pleasure, as if you can’t get off without his help, as if you’re incapable of bringing yourself to orgasm when he so easily manages it. It’s unrealistic and he knows it, but he’s able to immerse himself in the fantasy of you wanting him when you’re begging him, able to delude himself into believing, if only for a bit, that you’re just as frantic for his love and affection as he is yours.

If you really want to get him going, a surefire way to have his cock springing to life and his heart lurching into his throat is to praise him a bit, then following it up with a plea for him to keep going. Tell him that it’s s’good, you feel so good Feitan, please don’t stop, just like that, fuck!

Tell him that you belong to him, that you’re his, that your cunt is his cunt, that you want him to come inside, that you need more more more. He might tell you that you’re greedy, grunting out something about you being a greedy slut, but the twitching of his cock inside you and the way his fingers tighten their hold on you will show you that he isn’t as unaffected by your words as he’d like to pretend.

He really just likes knowing that sex affects you just as much as it affects him, so please, please beg him - he’ll almost always do exactly what you want, almost like it’s a reward.

(After all, just getting to touch you is reward enough for him.)

Sensory deprivation

Because it takes Feitan so long to grow comfortable with letting himself be truly vulnerable with you (especially in the context of sex), he finds ways to get around this mental roadblock, so that he can experience everything he wants to without giving up any of his control.

And one of his favorite ways to do that is to limit your senses - specifically, Feitan loves to blindfold you. He doesn’t really want you to be looking at him during sex, too nervous and awkward and embarrassed, because once he gets inside you, his control over his facial expressions, his bodily responses, his everything is severely limited.

It takes all his will power to stop himself from coming prematurely, especially towards the beginning of his sexual relationship with you, and he’ll be damned if he lets you see the way his face crumples when he slips inside your wet heat, his dark brows drawing together and lips parting, eyes squeezing shut while he wills himself to calm down, to take deep breaths and not let himself get carried away.

He doesn’t want you to be able to look at him, but he wants to be able to see you - he wants full viewing pleasure of your body, and while this method does block seeing your eyes get all glassy and pleasured, it’s better this way.

This way, he gets to stare at the way your tits bounce as he fucks you, the soft fat jiggling and practically begging to be groped and squeezed at.

This way, he can stare at your ass he pounds into it, grabbing a handful of cheek in each hand and kneading the fat, spreading them apart and taking a peek at your pert, cute little asshole, seeing the curve and arch of your back.

He can let himself relax more this way, allowing his face to present every emotions and sensation he’s feeling, and he can let himself indulge in some of his more embarrassing urges - like reaching out to cup your hips when your bodies are facing each other, his fingers never quite brushing your skin but awfully close.

He’ll lean in close as if to kiss you, letting his breath fan over your lips but never actually closing the distance, just indulging in the smell of you and the idea of kissing you. He’s still very reserved, but this way he can do all the things he fantasizes about when he’s alone at night, his mind wandering to you and his body growing cold and lonely.

Plus, Feitan gains a certain amount of control this way - he gets to choose what happens to you, and because you can’t see anything, you’ll have no idea what’s coming next.

Will it be his hands, a vibrator, his cock?

You won’t know, and Feitan likes it that way - he wants to keep you guessing, to leave you unsure and awaiting his next move with baited breath.

He just likes how dependent you are when he’s got the black blindfold tied around your eyes, so you’d better get used to it - he’s not good at compromising, after all.

BIGGEST FANTASY:

While Feitan doesn’t harbor any desire to hurt you, there’s a certain allure that blood holds for him.

Of course, he doesn’t want to actually draw blood from you (the thought of you being in pain because of him makes any boner of his die immediately), but he discovers - by accident - that there’s a solution to mixing the two.

There’s a way to combine the two things that turn him on most - you, of course, and the slightest bit of blood - in a way that is safe for you yet still arousing, still enough to get him panting and his trousers feeling uncomfortably tight.

That is, Feitan discovers that he absolutely loves getting intimate with you while you’re on your period. It doesn’t matter if you get horrible cramps, mood swings, or are even totally unaffected - you’re sensitive, body needy and practically begging to be mounted and fucked, and who is Feitan to deny you?

Once he grows comfortable with intimacy, you’ll never be able to pull him away from you once the blood shows up in your panties. He’s obsessive, tracking your period for you, making sure that he knows the exact days that you’ll be starting and stopping.

He likes the way you respond to his touch so easily, your pretty pussy all messy and red and puffy, even the slightest touch making you buck your hips and gasp his name.

It’s euphoric, and when he slips inside you it becomes incredibly difficult to not immediately orgasm - you’re just so wet, so warm and wonderfully lubricated, and the sight of blood staining his cock when he pulls back to thrust back in makes his head spin.

You’re perfect when you’re menstruating, and you’ll notice he’ll be in a much better mood once you shyly report that it started, could you pick up some more pads for me? (He toys with the idea of actually collecting your blood, investing in one of those menstrual cups that you can remove once it’s full, just because the concept of drinking it is enough to make him fidget, the thought taboo and dirty and so very enticing.)

You can’t really say no to him normally, but you especially can’t deny him when it’s your time of the month - you will be getting fingered, fucked, even facefucked, if only because Feitan needs you, your pretty blood and pretty body making him go crazy in a way he didn’t think possible.

You make him go crazy in ways he didn’t think possible.

“Feitan, I - we can’t, not tonight.” You tell him, averting your gaze away from his as his hands grab at the old t-shirt and short you’re wearing. Unconsciously, your hand travels to your stomach, laying idly and making Feitan’s eyes narrow.

“Why not?” He asks, his voice clipped and suspicious. You didn’t often tell him no, and although there’s a bit of doubt swimming in his chest, he wants to know why you’re suddenly not welcoming his touch. You’ve reached the point of leaning into his cold, harsh hands, so why’re you suddenly being so standoffish? He doesn’t like it, and his hands stay idly resting on your shirt hem.

You’re embarrassed, he can tell, but he doesn’t drop the issue. Instead, he lets the silence sit heavily over the two of you, waiting for you to fill in the space.

“Well, um, you see…” You start, before squeezing your eyes shut and squeaking out, “My period started yesterday and it’s too messy.”

Feitan blinks at you, unsure what to say. Your period? You were bleeding?

“Okay, and?”

Your eyes peel open, daring to sneak a glance at your captor, who only stares at you, unimpressed. “Well, I mean, it’s going to be messy and gross and it probably smells bad and -”

“Shut up, we’re doing it.” He cuts you off, hand yanking at your shirt to bring it over your head. You grimace, already nervous for him to take off your shorts, because although you’re sure he knows what a period is, you’re sure he’s never actually been around a woman menstruating. Or at least, not sexually.

Actually, you’re pretty sure he’s never been with a woman sexually in any capacity.

He’s yanking at your shorts next, pulling down the material even as you voice your protests, but one scowl from him has you shutting up, embarrassment pricking up your spine as he grabs your thighs and manually spreads them, the scratchy blanket covering the bed biting into your ass.

He’s staring, dark eyes a bit wider than normal, and you feel yourself shrinking in on yourself, the embarrassment eating you alive. Why was he staring? Why wasn’t he doing anything? Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“Feitan..?” You mumble, biting your lip and letting your arms cover your bloated stomach. He doesn’t respond, but you feel his grip on your thighs tighten, to the point where you think you might see bruises tomorrow.

His eyes slowly, painstakingly, drag up from your exposed cunt to meet your face, and to your surprise you see the slightest dusting of a blush on his cheeks, as if he too was embarrassed. But before you can say anything, he’s rushing forward, lips pressing against yours in a messy, clumsy kiss, full of teeth knocking against teeth and too much spit. You’re not sure what’s gotten into him, but just as soon as he rushed in he’s pulling back, instead moving to bring his face level with your leaking hole.

Feitan can’t stop staring - there’s blood everywhere, and while he’d normally be thrown into a state of panic at seeing so much of your own blood staining your skin, somehow this is different. Somehow the sight of it staining your pussy, the red color all along your inner thighs and part of your asscheek making his mouth water, his cock already painfully hard. It’s so pretty - red against your skin, your lips visibly swollen, your little clit engorged and peaking out. You look good, like something he wants to taste, and before he knows what’s happening he’s diving forward, tongue licking a long stripe up your slit.

You taste like iron and musk and something oddly sweet, and immediately he’s diving in to taste more, tongue lapping at you like some dog in heat as he keeps his fingers firmly digging into your thighs. He can barely hear your sound of shock at his actions, too overwhelmed by your taste and your scent.

“F-feitan, stop!” You manage to force out, eyes squeezed shut as your hips shake and stutter. “It’s too much, I’m too sensitive, I can’t!”

Feitan stops at that, pulling away from your body with blood smeared all over his lips, chin and nose, staring at you with a look in those wide, dark eyes that makes you shiver. He looks like an animal like this, something primal and carnal - and when your eyes peek down to see his cock - throbbing, bright red and stiff against his stomach - you can’t help but feel as if you’re some sort of prey caught in his jaws.

“Not too much, you will survive.” Is all he says, before he’s resuming his actions, bringing a finger up to prod inside your walls while his tongue gets to work on your clit. His fingers curl and rub, but you’re so damn tight, your walls impossibly clenched, and it makes Feitan grunt against you. You’re even wetter inside than normal, the blood practically running down his hands in copious amounts, making it remarkably easy to slide his fingers in and out. Almost too easy, it would seem.

You’re blabbering his name, the stimulation hurtling you towards your orgasm much quicker than normal, your heightened sensitivity and emotions turning you into a moaning, whimpering mess. And Feitan loves it - those dark eyes are peering up at you from over the crest of your pelvic bone, blood tinging his cheeks and visible to you.

When he angles his fingers to press against the spongey, sensitive spot he knows you love, you suddenly gasp, a hand flying to tangle into his hair, the other gently pinching and rolling at your nipple.

“Feitan, oh fuck Feitan ‘m gonna, I’m gonna come-!” You’re squealing, something that makes Feitan cock a brow, the pure desperation in your body as you squirm under his touch making him feral, his hips beginning to rut against the bed before he can even think about it. You just look so sexy like this, with your nipples swollen and sensitive, your cunt all warm and wet and sweet, and he’ll watch with wide eyes as you orgasm around him, your walls clenching down so hard that they force his fingers out, his tongue and the circles he’s drawing on your clit the only thing grounding you. Your back arches fully up off the bed, tits thrust out into the air, and Feitan bites back a groan as his own pleasure hits a peak, the blanket ruined as cum oozes from his tip and seeps into the fabric.

You’re shaking, literally fucking shaking, and Feitan finds himself trembling too, his hands not as steady against your skin. If he’d known you would taste like this, how sensitive you’d be, how easy it is to get you orgasming while on your period, he would’ve done this long ago.

You’re out of it, blinking up at the ceiling and heaving uneven breaths, but even as sensitive as he is from his last orgasm, Feitan is quickly shuffling to his knees, grabbing the base of his cock and sinking into you, face contorting into something between a grimace and a gasp. You’re so damn warm, and he groans lowly as he sees the way his cock has pink slick all over it when he pulls back, a mix of your blood, your slick and his cum decorating his length.

Fucking you is heaven, the way you clutch at him and writhe, nearly screaming his name as you come on his cock, and Feitan can only grit his teeth and go harder, spurred on by the way your walls are caressing his length, massaging and gripping like a fucking vice.

It feels good, and by the time he’s emptied himself inside you, he’s already made a mental note to mark down when your next period will be - just so he can get ready, so that he can get prepared. So that he can prepare you, too, because you won’t simply be allowed rest after the first night.

God no, not if you’re like this the whole time.

#yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere feitan #yandere feitan portor #hxh smut #_lee's profiles #_hxh #_feitan portor

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chemicallywrit · 27 days

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Iiiiiiit’s Audio Drama Sunday! And I’m sick but I’m still writing this post because this week in audio drama absolutely slaps. Beware of some light spoilers ahead, let’s GO

🔥 oh man, @camlannpod landed this season finale beautifully. I’m so glad our crew triumphed and that the world is fuller than any of them thought and that the story can go on and change. I have to relisten, this is such a good show. If you haven’t listened to Camlann yet, now is the perfect time, go LISTEN.

🐷 @hellofromthehallowoods is dark but it only occasionally truly scares me. This episode, I was scared. WHAT is Shanks and WHAT is up with that freakin puppet and WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO? I feel the weight of these stories tangibly and I worry, just like our eyes in the skies, for the fate of the people I care about.

👽 One of the strengths of Among the Stars and Bones is its ability to put extremely normal people in absolutely harrowing situations, and in this episode, when it's your second harrowing situation in less than half a year, what are our heroes going to do but be like "Well Sure, This Might As Well Happen." Contrast that with the reactions of Captain Francis and Johann (played with deftness and skill by Oliver Smith and Jerron Bacat), who are experiencing the horrors for the first time and Not Doing Well and that's horror babe. I'm especially interested in Johann, what a fascinating character.

🙃 I started @worldgonewrongpod this week and it is everything I like. It's a) a fictional advice show in b) extraordinary circumstances that's c) very funny and sweet and d) hits like a brick in a sock. If that tweet by John Rogers ("every day i remember with gritted teeth that people lived perfectly fulfilling lives in during the fall of the roman empire," if I may paraphrase) was a show, it'd be this show. I love it.

✨ Call me Rion, because I'm here to take on things that aren't my responsibility and ask you to pLEASE support season two of @storiesfromylelmore. In maybe the cutest crowdfunding announcement I've ever heard, ItMe has called for our help and I don't have any freakin money, but if you do, you should consider giving it to Stories from Ylelmore!

🧛🏻‍♂️ In Hannah News, to borrow a phrase from fellow producer, friend, and all-around badass Tal, it's so much fun to listen to Re: Dracula without having to make it. I'm having a great time now that Drac is back. Won't you join us? Inn Between is also about to hit all our early access folks with a gut punch, get ready.

Hey! Certain entities that owe me money are not paying me in any kind of time, but nevertheless I have to pay bills. It's rude how the bills do not take that into account. In any case, if you like what I make or enjoyed this post, consider leaving me a tip!

#audio drama sunday #audio drama #audio fiction #fiction podcast #camlann #hello from the hallowoods #among the stars and bones #world gone wrong #stories from ylelmore #re: dracula #inn between

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kittenjammer · 4 months

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Hi! So I was going through your snape tag (btw sorry for the million notifications you probably got), and I noticed you weren’t very much a fan way back on the early days of your blog. Feel free to completely ignore this if you don’t feel like answering (it is truly none of my business), but I’m always fond of hearing people’s “how I came to like this character” or “why I changed my mind about this character” stories and I was wondering what yours was :)

Hiii! Thanks for the ask! (No worries on the notification spam lol) and I appreciate that you reached out!

Yes! I think he was one of the characters I had the most difficulty empathizing with because I had such a strong, emotional reaction to him. Especially after OotP forward. He's divisive! (Also looking back through my Snape tag has me internally cringing a bit with how little grace I extended to the poor guy...ah well. With age/maturity comes wisdom...? D: )

I'm ngl, after reviewing some of the earlier posts, my immediate reaction is to delete them as my opinions have definitely changed, but maybe it's good to leave it as a record of my evolving mindset towards the character? lol

Ok, so what changed?

Well, it certainly helps I'm now closer to adult Snape's age from Book 1 than Harry's age when I was first reading the HP series as it was being published. I didn't give much thought to Snape beyond he was a mean teacher and a bully, for the first four books at least.

I got into the HP fandom around when GoF had been released so I was discovering plenty of fanfic and fan meta. Snape was one of the more ... well ... fans reactions to him that liked him or even wrote him sexually with the cast confused middle-school me, to be honest. I was more interested in the child characters than the adults, so I was vaguely aware of how he was portrayed in fandom but didn't really engage.

This changed after OotP was released, and we finally got some explicit Severus Snape backstory and history with the Occlumency lessons. I had a really an emotional reaction to SWM and some of the memories we got a glimpse of. I was empathetic and not completely surprised to learn Snape was from an abusive home, that he had possible trauma and issues that explained his actions and why he was so cold and angry. Like Harry, I was really disappointed in how his father and Sirius treated Snape. There's just no excuse for how they sought him out to pick on him for fun. I was on Harry's side with confronting Sirius and Lupin about how his dad and they acted.

Also, I read everything with shipper eyes, and immediately felt there was more to Severus and Lily's relationship beyond her just coming over and reacting to James actions lol. They called Jily a crack!ship but it looks like they were validated in the end lol.

However what really made me emotionally react with anger was that we are basically being shown that Severus knows what it's like to be a scared child being abused and tormented by authority figures and other children, but he does it to his students?? I could not understand his actions at a time but I would get genuinely angry when I did think about it. To child me, this felt like a betrayal, both for a fictional character and when actual people did this. Looking back I was reacting so strongly due to my own personal experience with trauma in the home and with authority figures abusing children.

I recall not caring much about him in HBP or DH. I was much more upset with Sirius' death than Dumbledore's, so Snape's "betrayal" was just not something I recall reacting emotionally to. In DH, I definitely remember reading his memories and just feeling irritated with him. To me, he was a guy with trauma and emotional issues, sure, but I felt his behavior towards Harry, Hermione, and Neville was not excused for me. At most I felt begrudging respect for him and acknowledged he was not a completely terrible person. Harry naming one of his son's after him felt so bizarre, and I just could not understand why Harry wanted to honor him. Forgive him, sure I could understand Harry doing that, but naming his child after Snape just left me feeling confused. I could not understand how Snape could have loved Lily so much, but treated her son like he did.

I know I'm basically rambling, but it really has been a journey. :P

When I grew out of HP and the fandom after DH was published, I never gave much thought to him or his circumstances until I (unexpectedly) returned to the HP fandom last summer. I reread all of the books as an adult and I had the life experience and maturity to understand that:

A) Snape was funny! A lot funnier than I remember.

B) His actions throughout the book were too subtle for teenage me, but they made me really question my previous feelings for the character.

C) Everyone Dumbledore was kind of terrible to him!

I read a lot of really well written meta on the characters and HP. Specifically I think it was @pet-genius posts on reddit I found that really helped me put my thoughts and feelings regarding HP, primarily Harry, in order. And I can't help but compare and contrast Harry and Severus as characters and how they each approach their trauma and grief.

@ashesandhackles metas on Snape was also really helpful in highlighting the examples in the text that showed how Snape's actions sometimes directly contradict with what he said, especially to Harry. He's always presenting himself as this cold and controlled person, disparaging emotional reactions and connections. Yet he's one of the most emotionally reactive characters in the series next to Harry!

I was able to see clearer a lot of things I liked about him. That he's an incredibly skilled and hardworking person. That he cares very deeply for people he does allow himself to have feelings for and connections to. That he was scared, so scared, probably all the time after Voldemort's return to power, but he never wavered in his determination to continue to show up and fulfill his duty. Him making the Vow with Narcissa to try to protect Draco. The incredible pain he must have been in when he used the Killing Curse on Dumbledore, the one person left that knew everything about him and still valued him. That he dies keeping silent about the Elder Wand ownership, protecting Draco from becoming Voldemort's next target.

I also viewed his relationship with Lily as so much more complex than unrequited love. There's a meta out there (I will edit this post and link it if I find it again) that argues Snape wasn't really in love with Lily, and that "Always" quote is so much deeper than a romantic, or sexual, type of feelings for her. I think it argues that Snape elevated Lily to a symbol of Good, or at least used her memory to guide him on morality. I felt so much more respect for the guy that he had dedicated his life as penance, basically, for betraying his once-best friend once more.

This is getting long, I hope this wasn't too much. I have changed my feelings on how Severus treated Harry and the other kids close to him in that year's class. Looking at how he acts to others and comparing to how he acts with Harry, I now now I feel Harry was a very specific trigger for Severus and he showed Harry and Harry's potions class a side of him that he generally did not show to anyone else. This is just my personal interpretation based on how other adults, from Dumbledore to even Lupin, and kids speak of Snape as a professor and seem to think Harry is just exaggerating that Snape hates him. When, no, Snape really is projecting his hate and rage and grief about James and Lily onto Harry and he does actually hate the kid. Which, it's probably easier for Severus to think he hates Harry rather than hates himself.

I could keep going but I will stop here for now. I hope that answers the question? But feel free to chat more :) I hope you don't mind I responded with a blog post, I can take it down if you would rather it be answered privately lol.

I suppose the tl;dr version is that Snape makes me angry because he makes me feel things about myself that I don't like, but with age and reading other people's thoughts on the character has definitely made me come around to they guy!

#severus snape #hp meta #hp

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sideprince · 1 month

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I've seen the same post a hundred times now. Sometimes it's a few days old, sometimes it's from years ago, but it's always the same. Some anti posts about how they don't understand how anyone can like Snape because he was so awful, and then there's a long reply that goes something like, "imagine this happens to you, and then this, and then this" to describe Snape's experience. Sometimes there's some James Potter hate thrown in.

Look. You can go through describing a character's entire experience but you don't really need to. Here's the thing that antis don't understand:

For all her faults (and they're big, bigoted ones) Rowling understood a really integral part of the human experience and conveyed it through Snape. Everyone needs love and to feel accepted. It's that simple. Snape became a Death Eater to seek acceptance (Rowling has confirmed this, though I can't remember the source - whoever wants to add it please do), because it was the only way he could find any.

Snape's understanding of morality, like everyone's, is subjective. Some readers understand this and some don't. When faced against a morality that says there is good and bad in the world, everyone makes choices based on their personal experience. Context is everything. Someone who experiences pain and suffering will not see the person inflicting it on them as moral. That's it. 'How can this person be good when they caused me so much suffering?' = human psychology. Most of the people who think 'I'm a bad person and deserve this' have been gaslit and abused into thinking so, because it's not a natural reaction - it's one that has to often be socialized into someone at a young age, exactly because it's not natural. Everyone is the hero of their own story; no one sees themselves as a villain, because they see the valid aspects of their own perspective.

You can write essays on how vulnerable people needing acceptance is what cults and fascists exploit to recruit vulnerable people, or on how the standard anti's un-nuanced reading of Snape both ignores canon and displays a disturbing lack of empathy or compassion, but at its core it just boils down to context. From Snape's perspective he experienced cruelty, therefore the people inflicting it must be cruel. Again, it's that simple. He was a person, like any other, except he was fictional so he wasn't even real. On the flip side is James Potter, who, for all his faults, didn't get to live long enough to get a chance to change and grow unlike Snape, and I think the Snapedom also needs to acknowledge that.

They're fictional characters representing things an author wants to say, not sports teams, not martyrs, and not all good or all bad emblems that define your identity depending on how you feel about them. It's depressing how much time is wasted arguing with bullies and trolls whether from the Marauders fandom or just random antis. I literally can't find more than three blogs to follow without this argument coming across my feed daily. I know the Snapedom is Not OK™ and that's kind why we're all here, and I know that my take is super unpopular but like Snape, I don't care what others think: this fandom has been having the exact same argument for years and nothing has changed. There's fanart and meta and fic and so much content out there appreciating this character, you're not going to change an anti's mind who's deliberately trolling in the tags, so why are you trying? What are you getting out of it? What does it give you? It's exhausting just scrolling past it.

#The thing about morality is that it's subjective #the religious leader who's a beacon of moral purity to their congregation #is a source of selfishness and pain to someone they abuse in secret #is that abuse victim immoral for rejecting the values the religious leader represents?#the congregation might think so because their definition of morality relies on the religious leader being a moral guide #the victim might not think so though because how can something be righteous if it causes suffering #look this is just an example of how perspectives can vary and I know there are more possible takes on that example #my point is that the idea that there's no clear 'good' and 'evil' there's only power/what you do with it is actually how psychology works #'good' to one person can be pain to another #'scourgify' is an innocuous household spell that cleans stains until it's used to waterboard someone #context matters more than labels like 'light' and 'dark' magic

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twirlingsmilingwriting · 5 months

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Hunger Games Characters as Taylor Swift songs PART 2!!

I know these aren't popular like the fan fiction on my account but I love mixing my music and intrests so ima do a PART TWO

Johanna Mason

Mad Woman- Taylor Swift, Folklore

"Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? They strike to kill and you know I will"

Honestly, it's so hard to find just one lyric in this song that I felt like truly highlights her because the whole song is literally her. Especially the last verse. Like "'Cause you took everything from me, Watchin' you climb, Watchin' you climb Over people like me The master of spin Has a couple side flings Good wives always know She should be mad Should be scathing like me" THAT JUST FEELS SO MUCH LIKE HOW SHE VIEWS SNOW. He took everything from her and she was just sitting back ready to take him and the rest of the capital down with it. Also, I love her.

Katniss Everdeen

Eyes Open- Taylor Swift, Red

"In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords. But now we've stepped into a cruel world. Where everybody stands and keeps score"

OKAY ADMITTEDLY THIS IS A SELL OUT BECAUSE THIS SONG WAS ON THE HUNGER GAMES OTHER SOUND TRACK BUT, it is quite literally her song. Side note but this song is so sad but sounds so happy. I love when Ms. Swift does songs like this. But yeah from the first verse describing how they were just kids then one day got thrown into the cruel and harsh world of the hunger games. Also the part talking about "they never thought you'd make it this far" makes so much sense because the girl from district 12 is always seen as the runt of the picks, the one who isn't supposed to win, BUT SHE DID!! Honestly, if yall can think of another song that fits her character please let me know. I have some honorable mentions

A Place in This World- Debut: honestly, I think this song really describes her thought process going into the hunger games. She was just trying to survive and keep her family safe. Even when she was thrown into being the head figure of the Revolution, she never wanted that position, she just got thrown into it. She was just walking along the path set for her. Even the line "maybe I'm just a girl on a mission but I'm ready to fly" makes sense to me because she IS the mocking jay.

Only Me When I'm With You- Debut: So Peniss coded (Peeta X Katniss)

I Know Places- 1989: Also Peniss coded

I Did Something Bad- Reputation: Killing president coin, pushing forth with the revolution,

Sujanus Plinth

Only The Young- Taylor Swift, Miss Americana

"You did all that you could do, the game was rigged, the ref got tricked, the wrong ones think they're right. You were outnumbered, this time"

Honestly, the whole thing reminds me of his reaction to the games. Also the whole song is about how only the young can change the future and Sujanus's character really showed that spirit. He was trying to make a change but unfortunately, he trusted the whole people and the odds were stacked against him.

Haymitch Abernathy

Champagne Problems- Taylor Swift, Evermore

""This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

He has em. Simple as that. (alcoholism)

Seriously though this song reminds me of him more so because of the concept of it. Champagne problems is a term used to describe issues that seem rather trivial, unimportant, and I feel like a lot people tend to disregard all the genuine things Haymitch had gone through. The story of the song also is about a marriage that never happened, it also has undertones of lost family and friends. As we know, Haymitch lost his girlfriend and family to the capital. He never got to marry her because she was taken from him.

Lucy Gray

My Tears Ricochet- Taylor Swift, Folklore

"And I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky. And when you can't sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies"

LETS BE HONEST, SHE IS SO FOLK-EVERMORE CODED. I could dissect this song for ages explaining why it's the perfect example of what Lucy Gray would be saying indirectly to Snow. Firstly,

"Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day"

CUZ NO SHE DID NOT DESERVE WHAT SNOW PUT HER THROUGH. She loved him truly, deeply, but when it came down to it, she knew she could never trust him. Especially with the position he put her in. She could go anywhere she wants but not home after Snow made it seem like she killed the mayors daughter. And then the part

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet"

She didn't go with grace. She left in a flash, deep with mystery. She has to hide for the rest of her life while he gets to be the proud hero and savior to Panem. The second half of the main chorus is so true to how Coryo was acting when they were in the forest in that last scene. He was quite literally cursing her name, wishing she'd stayed.

"You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me"

JEWELS? HER EARRING??? HELLOOOOOOOO and then the "as you bury me" HE DOESN'T KNOW IF SHE DEAD OR NOT BUT IF SHE IS, HE KILLED HER. HE BURRED HER AND TOOK HER EARRING.

"But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky) And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)"

She had such a hold on him, he still remembers her years later, haunted by her memory. the song constantly references the "Haunting". The "I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky" reminded me of the way the mocking jays carried her voice all around the sky. And the last line was so clearly connecting to 'The Hanging Tree' in my brain. Many years later, Katniss sang the same song she did to lead a rebellion against him. His life is haunted by her memories and cursed by it. He can't escape her anywhere.

The tears he made her spill simply ricocheted into bullets that hit him instead.

Effie Trinket

Bejeweled- Taylor Swift, Midnights

"Best believe I'm still bejeweled. When I walk in the room,I can still make the whole place shimmer"

MS. EFFIE TRINKET IS THE BADDEST BITCH BRO OMG I LOVEEEEE HER. STYLE ICON. Listen, no matter what happens to that woman, shes gonna shine. A diamonds gotta SHINE. She is always the most sparkly, eye catching person out there at ALL TIMES! Even without all the glitz and glamour she is still so iconic. She is ALWAYS bejeweled.

#tbosas #the hunger games #taylor swift #song lyrics #lucy gray baird #katniss everdeen #sejanus plinth #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #johanna mason #thg series #thg

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unabashednightmarepizza · 2 years

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𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨| Joseph Quinn x Celebrity!Reader

Warnings: Bullying, death threats, s3lf h@rmïng, people calling Joseph ugly, Pedro and Jamie being menace

"Y/N, darling wake up!! You need to go and have your hair and make up done in one hour and return to the set!"

Groaning out loud and trying to get out of the covers, your manager chuckled at your disheveled morning hair and tired look while he turned his attention back to his phone to have a convo. Wondering what the hell he was speaking about over phone that passionetly, you blindly looked for your socks and wore them while rubbing your eyes to get rid of the sleep. It was a known fact that you ran from project to project nonstop, the latest ones being the new Marvel series and Star Wars series, which your fans loved dearly. Your shoots with the Star Wars happened a long time ago but since the release of the new series had unfortunately hung up for some time, its date was the same one as your dear project, the one who gave you the recognition...

Stranger Things.

People would always jokingly say which one would get the highest record, some would be a little shit about it but over the years, you learnt how to ignore most of the comments. You could still vividly remember some "fans" reactions to you playing an important role in Star Wars and how you didn't "deserve that role at all" which made you... throw some snarky comments at those terrible people.

Giggling at your fond memories, you side eyed your manager and listened to what he had to say about your day.

"Okay, I know you're tired like hell and trust me I am too... Like, can you please have some rest after finishing this season of Stranger Things? You're still too young and already had done a lot for your age... YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A PARTNER!"

"I never cared about those though..."

"No, you want to have one but are scared of what would happen to you if they turned out to be a douchebag!"

Touché, you thought while grinning sheepishly at him with your mouth full of toothpaste, not really denying anything. It was true that in this indurstry, most people would date another for more fame and money so, it was only natural to be reluctant about relationships in general.

Your latest and only partner almost ended your career though...

"Well, there is nothing I can do about it! Stop being my mom, Pedro, Oscar and Ewan do that enough for anyone..."

".... Even they tell you to find someone but you just... Unbelivable. Just... Go and get changed please."

Being done with your shit, he got out of your hotel room to give you privacy and also leave you to think by yourself. You were aware that at one point, you would stop acting and that your mom would start to pester you about a son or daughter-in-law but even though your heart longed to have a cheesy love like those in historical shows and books, the life was no fiction.

People would always look for something in return, they would always ask for more while giving nothing and unfortunately, that would be the same with love. The world no longer cared about emotional things, rather money and even though you didn't care about it that much, you convinced yourself that, that was for the best for anyone.

But for mostly you.

You didn't want to break a gentle soul with your trust issues, use them as a bandage to cover your past wounds so, you buried every affection you had felt over your years deep inside your heart.

Who knew a man with cute dimples and soft curls would change every rule you had set for yourself?

*******

The set was in a chaos, and that was an understatement. People were running around, actors were trying to memorize their lines and the younger cast was playing pranks at others. Meanwhile Joseph alongside Gaten who was making him get used to the set were just idly looking through their phones, Joseph looking around anxiously. It was his first time being around all these very famous people and he was getting anxious over what they might think of him. He was confident with his acting skills but these people were together for almost 6 years and literally knew everything about each other, having a type of connection so rare.

"Stop thinking too much, Jo! You already blended in and nobody is judging you!"

"It's easy to say! There is an actress who is so talented that everybody, and I'm not exaggerating, everybody is fighting for her to be in their project! And she is my celebrity crush for as long as I can remember-"

" Stop whining! She's such an easygoing and relaxed woman that she would gladly hang out with us and do every kind of things! She even imitates a seal to make someone laugh so think about the person she is!"

Joseph just groaned and dragged his hands down his face and looked around with tired eyes. To be honest, as long as he could remember, he was your fan. You two weren't that far of age, being almost peers yet you were much more successful and well-known than him and pretty much most of the people here, with you working for Star Wars and Marvel. But you weren't a rude douchebag, you were still the same as you used to before the fame.

Wearing loose clothes and never making a show with any part of your daily life, you were the paparazzi's favorite celebrity to run after to. Always trying to make new friendships with other actors, even going as far as meeting their families and also becoming friends with them... All of these, alongside what Gaten said, were what he adored in you.

And also what made him fall in love.

Yes, he didn't want to admit it since you were way out of his league, at least he thought, but he already knew that you wouldn't bat an eye on him that much. After all, there was a slight chance that they would be lying, right?

"OH MY GOD, GUYS YOU ALL BECOME EVEN MORE PRETTY DAY BY DAY! LOOK AT YOU! AND WOW SADIE YOU LOOK AMAZING WITH YOUR NEW STYLE!"

Turning to look at where the cheerful voice that he knew very well coming from, he widened his eyes at your form which was hugging the girl thightly to yourself while munching on a donut, stuffing it inside your cheeks. He squealed silently at your cuteness and wanted to take photo to gaze at after but decided that it would invade your privacy. Watching you hug everyone after not seeing them for long, he failed to realize that Gaten had run at full speed at you and knocked you down to the ground.

"OH WOW GATEN! YOU ARE ONE HELL OF A HANDSOME MAN NOW DUDE! I HEARD THAT THERE ARE NEWBIES WHICH MEANS-"

"PRANK WARS!"

"HELL YEAH!"

Shaking their head at your childish attitude, your manager just walked towards you and pulled Gaten off of you and held you from your armpits like a cat. Whining at him for "obviously being a party pooper", you looked around as if trying to find something.

"So where are the newbies? I hope I didn't make a bad first impression, I mean I'm cute and energetic and have no problem with being loud but these can be hard for someone who just met me for the... first... time... Oh wow..."

You muttered the last part in awe when your eyes landed on the British man who had a wig on with the clothes of his character. You just stared at him with blank eyes and a hung jaw. He has big, soft, brown eyes... He has puppy eyes... Oh Lord, not on the day I just said I wouldn't fall for a man, you thought while wiping your palms onto your jeans.

His eyes were watching you with a fondness and soft look you saw rarily on man, though it would be because of his big, comforting eyes. The brown eyes would always give you a sense of comfort you used to have when you were with your parents, whether on a woman or man, it was nice to look at them.

Gulping down hard, and feeling your cheeks heat slowly, you hoped that they wouldn't give away your hammering heart and anxiousness and stood in front of him with big, doe eyes, extending your hand to shake with him.

"Hi, welcome to the set and I hope we can be good friends... You're a great actor, I actually watched Dickensian and you were... nice..."

Cringing at your shyness and thinking that yes, you actually drove him away, you were shocked when you felt his bigger hand in yours. Looking up at him, you smiled unconsciously at the sight of his dimples and the crinkles around his eyes. For fucks sake, the man has dimples too... Don't fall in love Y/N!

"It made me so happy to hear such a compliment from an actress like you! I'm surprised that you watched it, most people doesn't even know the name..."

And your manager could only watch with a wide mouth while others were giggling at the shy yet adorable first meeting of you two, silently making bets if you would end up together.

Meanwhile your manager was busy calling the "Space Sisters' group and tell them what he just saw.

Oh they are going to do everything they can to set you two up together.

*******

This scene was going to kill you and that wasn't overreacting. Who taught that shooting a scene with Jamie was easy? Even Pedro was a better choice that you were ready to just go and say "Aight, I'm done." with the amount of teasing you were facing with.

"Jamie, stop tickling me! Dear director, say something!"

"Awww, are you embarrassed darling? Maybe we should call your crush?"

"Jamie!"

Hitting his chest playfully, you shoved him aside and grabbed your drink while trying to fan yourself. You hated to admit it but currently, you were having a huge crush on your eccentric co-star. You cursed at your sudden crush for the sweet and warm man and before you could scold yourself inside your mind, a certain blonde came in view with a sly plan.

"Y'know... You're a young, talented and beautiful woman who could pull anyone she wanted with just a look and you fancy someone so why not go after him?"

"Because... Well, I don't know if he's single and two, I'm not ready after... you know..."

Looking at you with soft and undestanding eyes, he pat your head and sat down next to you to grab something and have some rest until the next scene.

"But you can't go on like that forever... I know your shitty ex who is beyond fixing abused you emotionally but... he really isn't like that. The man talked to you and us about all the stuffed animals he had for collection the other day for God's sake! Do you think a man like him who has the cool uncle vibes can be the same as that asshole?"

Shaking your head no, you played with your fingers nervously. You wanted to have a beautiful relationship, experience all the things you should have done with someone special, and maybe even get married one day...

But opening your heart fully cost you everything and you would do anything to protect yourself from the same pain.

Unfortunately, even when thinking like that, you couldn't help but smile softly at the memory of him talking excitedly about the little trinkets he would buy or find, or how he loved to look after the kids... Seeing you blush while looking down on the ground, Jamie was happy to see that you were getting ready to open up step by step. It would take time but he wouldn't give up until you two were together.

Texting to Oscar who became his friend after their whole plan of "Get these stupids together", he turned to you innocently.

"Well darling, I don't know what will happen between you two but he was looking for you alongside Gaten and Joe."

Raising a brow at him, you shrugged your shoulders and looked at the director if you could go and with a nod from him, you began to search for the sweet man while Jamie was smirking at his phone.

"We're this close to get them together, Jam! Now, let the plan begin :) -Moon Boy"

******

Joseph was pacing around his trailer after shooting his scenes and the director gave him some time to rest but he was anything but resting. He seriously couldn't believe the events that happened in the past few weeks. He got to meet you, his long time crush, become friends with you and many people, and you two almost spoke all the time despite his worry about you not opening up to him at all.

He knew pieces about your past from the media and at first, he didn't want to force himself on you, even if he wanted to be close to you despite his heart hammering around you whenever he was close to your gorgeous form but with each passing day, it was obvious that you started to trust him as well. Gaten would always tease him for it, saying that it took nearly 2-3 months for you to trust them while it took only a few weeks for him but even if it was teasing,it couldn't have made him happier than anything to know that he was someone you could trust.

But the biggest part was his feelings. He wanted to confess, to tell you how gorgeous and amazing you were, how he wanted to just hold you against himself and indulge in every little activity you wanted to do but... Deep down, he knew that you deserved someone well-known, someone more popular just like you. What would you possibly find anything remarkable in him, with all the other significant men around you?

He almost jumped when he heard a knock outside his trailer, wondering who came to talk to him but upon hearing your soft voice, he immediately rushed to open it, almost tripping over himself.

"Geez, calm down Jo! Are you good?"

"Y-yeah! Just uh... Wasn't expecting a guest?"

" Oh, now I am a guest huh? My poor heart is breaking!"

Chuckling at you and rolling his eyes, he stood at the side to let you in while you were grinning from ear to ear. He knew that look, you did something and was planning to explain it to him. With wide and suspicious eyes, he sat you down on the makeshift bed.

"What did you do this time?"

"First of all, it sounded like you are accusing me and two, I bought us some cake! It's your first month anniversary at this set and trust me, staying alive with a sane mind here is pretty remarkable so it deserves a celebration!"

Shaking his head amused at your happy face, he went to bring some forks so that you two could eat the cake but he widened his eyes at feeling your smaller hands on his forearm with his heart almost bursting out of his chest and turned to look at your toothy smile.

"I brought forks and napkins, dork! Now sit and let's talk about our lives if that's okay?"

"Yes, yeah! Absolutely!"

Giggling like highschoolers while telling funny stories from your sets, you were discreetly watching him throw his head back at you and the wrinkles around his soft eyes whenever he laughed ear to ear with a thundering heart. Feeling your insides melt at his precious laugh, you realized how bad your case was. You didn't have to refuse it anymore...

You had fallen hard for him.

But did he feel the same? You were a very popular actress after all, paparazzis would always be on your tail, you would be seen with a co-star just because you had to and you would always be shipped with someone. People even shipped you with your "Space Sister" for God's sake! You wouldn't be able to give him the life he wanted, he wanted a somewhat normal life despite his career, have a little house away from city, maybe even some puppies or eventually kids...

Your life was far different than his and you didn't want to make him feel unworthy of himself...

"I can't believe Finn almost cried in the IT! How did that happen?"

Ah, one of the sweet memory you had of the now young adult and you were about to use it against him but to be fair, he started it when he thought that sharing your crying self over the movie Hachiko was a great idea.

"Ah well... I wasn't on the cast but since I'm great friends with the Skarsgård family, Bill invited me to come and visit him and I didn't refuse. To be honest, clowns make me irritated and uneasy but this role was important to him so I went to visit and they were so nice to me! When I arrived, Bill was pretty sad because they wouldn't let him speak and play with the kids since they could get attached to him and not get scared easily..."

Cutting a huge cake and eating it with stuffed cheeks, you failed to realize that Joseph clenched his jaw and grabbed the fork thighter at the mention of Bill. When had he started to feel jealous of you? He turned his downcasted eyes to your pretty face when he felt you poke at his face with the tip of your fork with worried eyes.

"Are you okay? If you're bored or if I'm talking so much I can stop... I probably talked a lot and you have a few things to tell me too but I just got excited and-"

Realizing you were getting panicked since he wasn't saying anything and because of the hard look on his face, he immediately loosened up and gave a soft and understanding look to you. He didn't want you to feel bad for being happy while talking about your friends, he wasn't that kind of a man and he would kill himself before making you feel uneasy.

"No,no darling, please continue... I just dozed of because of your pretty smile..."

Winking at you and making you blush, you hit his arm for his teasing nature to hide your embarresment and looked at his face, inspecting every little thing about him and thinking how the wig suited him for a few seconds, you continued after stuffing another chunk of cake into your mouth which made Joseph laugh at your eagerness and grab a napkin for you.

"And I just had to pat his back because he was sad he was making them scared and told him to hang on for a few months and assured him that they would come and play with him because they were looking up at him so much already. The next day, he had to scare Finn and Jaeden and this time, Finn got so scared that he cried at one of the rooms. Meanwhile Bill was crying too and I just had to play the mother and calm the boys and buy everyone in the set ice-cream... It costed me one hell of a money but hey, it could be replaced after all!"

"Don't tell him I have the video and especially that I told you this!"

Making a cross at where his heart was, he grinned at you and extended the napkin to you since he didn't want to make you uncomfy just in case. You looked at him with big eyes and took it with gratitude and realized that you didn't really know much about his life outside the set. With anxious fidgeting and hoping that you wouldn't be asking something offensive, you put the fork down.

"So what about you, Jo? How is your family like?"

Looking at you with a side look, he fangirled inside at your curiousity about his life, not the actor one, and happily told you about his mother. Giving small smiles at him when he would talk about his mom so lovingly, your inner voice just sighed at your miserableness. Grow some balls, and fucking confess to him already! Look, the man has respect for his and your mom, nothing bad would come out of this!

Just when you opened your eyes to finally tell everything you have been feeling about him, his phone started to ring and he looked at you apologetically. Waving your hand as if saying that it was no big deal and that he could talk here, you grabbed the forks and the box of the cake to throw them at the bin when you heard a soft yet older female voice from the speakers.

"How is my boy doing, hmm? Is everything alright in there?"

Cooing at his mother's soft words and concern for him, you chuckled when he looked at where you disappeared a few seconds ago anxiously to see if you heard anything. Seeing that you were still in the kitchen and your back was turned to him, he continued his talk with her.

"Yes, everything is fine mom! Everyone has been kind and Y/N is here right-"

"Oh my God! You work with her?! Is she really that pretty and kind in real life? And... she was that one actress you had been crushing on forever, innit?"

"Yes, oh God, yes she is and... Mom! Don't say things like that so loudly!"

Giggling in your hands while blushing profusely, you stayed in the kitchen and returned when he finished the call with her just in time. Seeing him look at anywhere but you, you just smiled and sit down in front of him.

"My mom says hi and now, you're invited to our home... You don't have to come if-"

"I would like that more than anything, Jo! But, oh shit! I don't have a dress with me and I need to find one quick and I have an interview to do and I-"

"Easy, easy, sweetheart... She invited you when our shooting is done so you still have time and besides... You are already beautiful as the way you're..."

Timidly looking at your wide eyes, you couldn't help but feel your heart skip a beat at his affectionate words and the feeling of his much bigger hands holding onto your arms. Your mouth dried, and you started to sweat slightly at how close you two were suddenly. Eyes looking at each other, deep brown melting into Y/E/C and hearts beating erratically, you knew that he was a man you deserved.

Fame, money, nothing mattered in that moment. You were just 1 inch apart from each other, one inch away from finally sealing the deal and become something much more than just friends. Maybe you just met, and maybe there were things you need to learn but deep down, you knew that he would mever treat you the way your ex did.

He wouldn't belittle you, he wouldn't blame you for everything, he wouldn't use you. Instead, he would hold you when things went bad, he would call you beautiful things instead of crude words, he would cherish you, love you till the day you two would die...

Holding onto his arms thightly and looking at him with shaky eyes, he shuffled closer to you, hands now holding your face delicately. He was no different than you, he couldn't believe that he was about to do what he thought he was going to do and you, looking at him with tearfull and shaky eyes with somewhat a painful yet full of hope eyes burned something inside of him.

"Y/N, I... I know you faced many things alone. I know you don't trust people easily anymore but... I love you. I always loved you ever since I was like 21 as soon as I watched your first film and I don't want to force you into anything. I'll be yours if you'll have me and if not, I would just stay as your friend-"

"But... what about everything? Are you fine with me being shipped with someone all the time? Not being home at all? Are you sure you would trust me with all your heart? I... I don't know if I'd be a good significant other and I-I d-don't wanna fuck things up-"

Wiping a stray tear softly from your cheeks, he brought your forehead close and touched it with his own. Even though he had the wig on, he could feel your heart beating with both love and worry. Behind the cheerful and noncholant mask you had, you were just a young woman who was betrayed by someone you trusted once. Someone who didn't make you feel loved and cherished and he would be damned if he did the same mistake.

"As long as you come back to me and I have your heart for mine to love... Then yes, I'm sure with everything inside me that I would go to the very end of-"

Stumbling down on his bed with the shock of your soft lips kissing him slowly with your hands cupping his cheeks lovingly, rubbing the apple of his cheek as if afraid you would break him, he let out a shaky and relieved sigh at finally having you between his arms. Feeling overwhelmed of everything that has been happening to you and the realization that you finally had your "prince charming" between your arms, you smiled into the kiss and shifted to get closer to him. Moaning into the kiss when your leg made contact with his crotch and your stumbling only added more pressure, you both blushed like crazy and parted your ways slowly. Looking at each other shyly with lovesick smiles, he put your stray hair back and dragged his hand down from the side of your face and rested it on your cheek while the other held onto your waist. Giggling happilly at him and throwing your arms around his neck, you two hugged each other while laughing to your hearts contents.

"I don't know why I'm laughing so much! I guess it's been a long time since I felt this happy!"

"Me too, love... Me too... But you're so unfair, now that I got a taste of you, I don't know how I'm supposed to stop myself from kissing you."

"Who said I want you to?"

And being unaware of your manager throwing his fists into the air in victory and texting to the groupchat that you two finally did it, you two kissed each other hungrily and grinded on each other like horny teenagers, moaning into each others mouth with the newfound happiness of you two finding each other.

GUYS THEY FUCKING DID IT! THEY'RE KISSING RIGHT NOW!-the Mother Hen

HOLY SHIT, THE BABY OF THE GROUP IS HAVING A TIME HUH 😎- Moon Boy

I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS SINGLE!- the Space Dad

Please don't let her come to us with hickeys all around her body... I don't know If I can take it- Hello there

Wait... THERE IS MOANING SOUNDS OH MY LORD, OH FUCK WAIT- Mother hen

WHERE ARE THEY DUDE! I lAM COMING TO SAVE MY SIS FROM GETTING FACESUCKED-The Vampire Jayce

*******

Sitting at the back and bouncing your leg up and down while waiting for the signal to come and sit in front of the camera to have the yearly Buzzfeed interview with Eduardo and your boyfriend Joseph while the said man was sitting next to you with a hand on your thigh. Smiling at you cheekily, he kissed your cheek fast and you turned to him with wide eyes, trying to hit him with the soft pillow you had when you used if you need to take a quick nap.

"Jo! Don't do this kind of things so suddenly!"

"Afraid of not being able to stand against my love? I thought you loved me!"

Rolling your eyes at him, you looked right and left to see if a certain blonde who became overprotective after learning from your manager that you two were together was around. He had all the right to do so, after all, you went to him when the shit went down alongside with Pedro and Oscar.

Kissing him from the lips quickly, you stood up and went to sit down before the camera while Joseph was grumbling under his breath.

"No fair, you little fox..."

"Beat this, bub!"

Turning your attention to the puppies who ran at you, you didn't see the way he blushed at your nickname and how he looked at you with heart eyes. Introducing yourselves after finally having a puppy on your lap, you three answered the questions about yourselves and your career.

"Y/N, this one question is specifically for you. What is Y/N Y/L/N known for and is there an embrassing story behind any of it?"

Humming to yourself while petting the dog absent mindly, you leaned back on one of your hands while giving some of your body weight to Joseph, trying to be subtle while the staff was watching with smiles at you.

"Well, I'm mostly known for my role in the Star Wars I guess? And maybe my interactions with others, especially our group the Space Sisters? So uh... Oh, there is one story I could tell you! When I first got the role, I met with Oscar first and he terrified me! He was loud and energetic while I was anxious, then one day he and Pedro came and just said 'We're adopting this one!'.And I was just standing there like a kitten being held from its neck and they dragged me to everywhere to show me off which was... overwhelming. How about you Eduardo, Jo?"

Smiling at your way and how you included them too, Eduardo started to speak while Joseph held your hand thightly in his behind your back. The rest of the interview went smoothly and you two said your goodbyes but you couldn't help but get sad over Joseph not getting a puppy while he wanted to have one and remembering his tongue poking out sweetly at the little puppies, you decided to do something you never did.

"Love... would you mind... you know... coming at my home? I-I mean you never saw where I lived and I want you to be part of my life fully and I want to introduce you to someone..."

Widening his eyes at you and your offer, Joseph smiled widely and hugged you to himself.

"Like? I would LOVE to come, darling! Are we going like now or later, oh I should go change my clothes and I-"

Cooing at his accent and the word "darling", you kissed the corner of his mouth and played with the curls at his nape with a soft smile.

"No need to Jo, I have some spare clothes since men's are much comfier. And we can go now since I think they can't wait to meet you. I mean they don't like people that much and they mostly bark at new people but-"

"Wait, wait... Bark? Who... Who am I going to meet with?"

"Well, my dogs and their puppies obviously? Also the newest addition to our little family, a sweet kitten- Owow, slow down Romeo!"

Dragging you to your room and closing the door behind himself, he laughed and kissed you sweetly before your manager could come and ruin the moment again. Kissing him back and running your hand on his bare back, he groaned into the kiss and before things would escalate, the ringing of your phone made him groan out and you laugh out hard.

"Don't you dare give me babies~~ Or else I would come with little bees~~To sting you from your weenie~"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET ME KISS MY LOVE!"

"NOT A CHANCE QUINN! GET YOUR HANDS OF OFF OUR LITTLE BABY!"

"PEDRO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!"

*****

"I'm sorry Jo... I don't know how he came into my room..."

Coming out after having a shower, you felt freshened and happy after all the things that heppened today. Drying your hair with the towel, you sat down beside him on the couch and layed against him while he was playing with your hair with one hand and the other petting the puppies who loved him immediately and jumped at him as soon as they saw his tall figure.

"It's okay sweetheart. They're protective of you but I seriously wonder what they will do when we get married..."

"W-what..?"

Gulping down hard, you felt the shivers all around your body when he mentioned marriage. He wanted to...marry you? It wasn't something strange, you two almost dated for 8 months now and was happy that you were able to keep it hidden from the media but... You never thought that he was that serious with you.

"Marriage..? Oh God, I'm sorry if I did made you uncomfortable! Just forget it-"

"You want to marry... me?"

Looking at you with shocked eyes he put the puppies down and took your form on his lap to look at your face closely.

"What? I always dreamed of being married to you! I even have the whole speech ready from the moment I saw you first, even though it's cringy with all the fanboying... But I'd understand if you... You know... didn't think like that..."

Seeing his saddened eyes made you feel like shit, and also helped you remember that you both had insecurities. His had skyrocketed after starting to date you and the new season started, with people saying that they didn't like him at all. That he was better with the wig on and that he wasn't handsome at all. And that wasn't the end, people even picked on Millie, for the millionth time, and Millie and Joe had to stop you from going off on someone on your social media. You could still remember how liverish you were while trying to get a hold of your phone which was in Joe's hands.

"LET ME GO MILLIE I'M JUST GONNA HAVE A TALK WITH PEOPLE ON TWITTER! EVERYBODY IS USED TO IT BY NOW, AND I'M NOT GOING TO BACK OFF! HOW DARE THEY CALL HIM UGLY?! THOSE BITCHES CAN'T DO HALF OF THE SHIT HE DOES AND THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL HIM AND MILLIE USELESS?!!! GIVE IT TO ME!!"

Giggling at the memory, you didn't think about how it would be seen by the man under you who was swimming inside his insecurity pool. He knew he shouldn't read and think about the people and what they thought of him. He never cared about his appearance before he dated you, and it wasn't gonna change. You told him time and time again that he was the prettiest and most handsome man you had seen and you would always love him, not for his looks but for his sweet personality, the one which would shy away from a lot of attention, would poke his tongue out while thinking, the one that had fallen in love with you.

There was only one way to prove to him and the rest of the world how amazing he was and you exactly knew what. Suddenly getting up from his lap and looking for your phone, he looked at your back confused and hurt since you just left without saying something, he was even more confused when you sat down next to him and entered your gallery. He widened his eyes at seeing so many random photos of himself in it, him trying to focus, him reading a book, him with the wig on, him on the events...

"Love, what are you doing?"

" I thought I fucked those insecurities away from you last night, but apparently, I was wrong..."

Blushing at your blunt words, he put his hand on your waist and softly pinched the fat there lovingly begore his hand froze in shock.

"So I'm gonna share you and our very happy children to tell the world to fuck off!"

Shuffling away from you to take your hands into his to stop you, he looked at you with panicked eyes. You didn't mean to make him that anxious and seeing your sunshine like that made you but angry at the so called fans and sad for him. Taking his head into your hands, you kissed his lips passionetly in which he responded with the same amount. Parting away while panting and looking at each other eyes, you kissed the underside of his eye and smiled at him sweetly.

"I know you're anxious and I get it. The amount of hate I got for taking a role in the Star Wars universe was so bad that I... I tried to end it all. For good..."

Getting the meaning behind of your words, he immediately checked your wrist and when he saw the faint scars, he looked at you with tears in his soft eyes. Wiping his tears away, you continued before he could go on.

"Don't worry, Oscar and some others found me just in time and I'm fine. I never tried to do something like that again. My point is, even though it's hard, don't listen. They will talk no matter what you do and understanding this took a long time for me but I don't want the same things happen to you... I'd fight with every single one of them if it meant you'd be happy but... if you don't want people knowing, then I'll not share anything."

He looked at you with unreadable eyes, shook that you went through this. He stared at your hands and back at you, feeling too much at the realization of what might have happened if they didn't come in time. Suddenly yanking you to himself, he smelled your shampoo over and over as if to memorize it. Soothing him by rubbing back and twirling his curls, you put your weight on him with the relaxation and listened to his heart when he started to talk.

"I-I didn't know... any of this... I'm so sorry darling, for people and for not being in your life at that time... You can share whatever you want and I'll do the same besides... the internet will be upside down by the hottest couple, no?"

Smirking at him with a proud look, you nodded your head and set yourself onto his lap again. Back against his chest, his hand were on your tummy, hugging you close to himself. He smiled at the photos you had chosen with his chin on top of your head, he pointed to each photos, asking when you took them. You smiled and hugged his arm to yourself while your kitten was hissing at the background.

"I took the first one at the World Premiere secretly because you looked so cute, the second one as soon as we entered and the third one was when you went to bathroom... Now let me poor all my badass attitude into the caption, love!"

And rolling his eyes at you, he watched you type fastly with a fond look. He didn't know what the future would bring for both of you, but he thanked God for giving you to him, letting you fall in love with him and making him be a part of your life.

Putting your phone down after posting the photos, you snuggled him up with your puppies on your lap and around you with your kitten on his head, hanging on his curls.

That was all you've ever wanted, and finally you were happy.

#stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things x y/n #eddie munson #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn #celebrity reader #fame #finn wolfhard x platonic reader #bill skarsgård #pedro pascal #oscar isaac #ewan mcgregor #platonic reader #eddie munson x reader

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m-u-g-i · 2 years

Text

Only You

Modern Day Sukuna X Plus-Size Female Reader

Mini Gift For: @plussizeficchick

(That's why I asked for your favorite characters. I wanted make a little something for you 🥰)

Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3

Genre: Angst (?) to Fluff

Summary: As college attendees, both of Sukuna and you met each other by chance. However, the man holds a reputation from his tendency of having an inconsiderate and aggressive attitude towards others, though they were mainly rumors and misunderstandings. Being misunderstood tends to leave people emotionally unavailable yet after one fluffy encounter, his perspective of life changed drastically and he debates whether he's deserving of such happiness.

NOTE: The following consists of sexual assault, mentions of abuse, slght violence, vulgar language, and possible mental health problems. Please keep in mind this is all for entertainment purposes and the circumstances of the following are purely fiction. The author refuses liability of any offense, so please feel free to exit if you're sensitive towards any of the said topics.

Author's P.O.V.

"Oh my gosh, it's him. Go the other way"

"Why the hell are you breaking with me, you d**che?!"

"Jokes on you, I was only using you for money."

Constant comments that haunt the poor man's ears on the daily.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryomen Sukuna, the campus' well-known playboy who's incompatible of emotion or loyalty. With an RBF as his usual expression, the icy persona he radiates didn't really come off as a surprise. He's dated a plethora of women and yet they all fell through, though the relationships' foundations were incredibly shallow and one-sided (money, clout, sex, etc.). Thine poor soul had built an unhealthy immunity to hatred, negative impressions, and being used. Rumors circulated throughout campus, mainly consisting of toxicity, abuse, rape, so on and so forth, although he was never at fault for the false accusations and mistreatment bestowed upon him. Yet, this man was too immune to it to care. Being misunderstand proves that there is so much than what meets the eye.

By fate, he bumped into little ole you.

He met you as you hurriedly rushed out of the library, causing an accidental collision with your notebooks and his canned drink. Though apologies were sung and accepted left and right, compensation was made by a simple out-going at the college café. Awkwardness emerged through every cell on his body as he was afraid of the possible reactions and behavior you would have towards him. However, you were just a simple and dare he add, warm soul who was out with a new acquaintance.

Who knew such a simple act of kindness would stick with Sukuna's supposedly cold heart.

The time following the simple out-going resulted into frequent meetings and occasionally, study sessions. Despite his age being a year older, your assistance in such resulted in great improvement in his academics--more like mental health to be honest. Honestly, it left him baffled at the admirable intelligence installed in your brain--or he must be incredibly stupid. Everyone began to pity you, concerned of the potential heartache or abuse you may go through as your bond with the supposedly "playboy" began to tighten. Yet, it remained invalid and irrelevant in your mind and heart.

Months flew quickly as emotions began to evolve in the heart of the two of you, however, one heart remains doubtful and hesitant, creating fear inside of him for the first time in a while. He was already content with your friendship with him yet he can't help but yearn for more. How could he not when such a thick, curvaceous queen with such a beautiful soul would take time out of her day to spend it with to help him study or maybe for occasional hang-outs? Everything was almost surreal, but the continuation of such remains unknown.

~~~~~

Once the second course of the day ended, Sukuna strolled through the campus with his clique on their way to get some lunch from a few restaurants and food stands. With trays upon trays, bags on bags, the group searched for a suitable and comfortable location to find. Finally finding an area to sit after about few minutes of searching, the group of men sat on a picnic table located outside of the same café you treated Sukuna to to compensate for the incident that occurred during your first encounter. It wasn't long until the food began to disappear one by one and useless conversations were created.

"Yeah, bro. She's fine as hell, but she's dating Kotaro from the rugby team. Ugh, that bastard," a male with pure white hair complained.

"Maybe I can still get her to my room tonight. I never fail to do so."

"You're a whore, you know that?" Said another male with luscious, black hair, longer than most people's will to live.

"Do you know how many relationships you've ruined because you couldn't keep it in your pants?"

"Hey, I only offer myself. Those chicks are the ones that end up taking the opportunity. That's on them," the white-hair defended.

"Telling them that you can do them better than their man is not offering. It's called "no self-control", Satoru," the long-haired stated.

"C'mon, Suguru. I have plenty of self-control."

"Then, I bet $100 you won't be able to go 1 month without sex," Suguru implied.

The absurd conversation continued on as Sukuna leaned his head in his hand, visibly bored from his current situation. Scanning the atmosphere around while dining an onigiri, his eyes fell upon the scene through the window of the nearby café. With no ill intention, his eyes began to doze off until they coincidentally fell on your plump figure that happened to be inside.

Analyzing thoroughly, he couldn't resist the urge to admire your appearance. Straightened hair pushed lazily yet attractively to one side with an oversized hoodie in a pastel color and gray sweatpants with socks and slides. Round glasses sat adorably on your squishy face as your attention remained on your notebooks and laptop. On the side of the device had a small drink as well, creating a very aesthetic atmosphere.

Similarly, your eyes finally leave the objects in front of you, peering around to take a breath and recollect yourself from your distressing thoughts, only to coincidentally catch Sukuna's gaze. Slightly surprised, you sweetly smile, waving gracefully yet shyly at him, causing the male to sit upright, slightly tense, as a light blush approached his cheeks while he waves similarly in response. You giggle at his state, but decide to resume back to your studies with your mood slightly lightened.

He, on the other hand, remained attentive on you. Almost in a trance, he couldn't find the strength to look away. His head rested on his hand once more, feeling at peace despite the constant beating of his chest. That was until...

"Oh, what do we have here?" Satoru seductively says, causing the pink hair to snap out of his trance.

"W-What?"

"I think our little Ryomen-chan has found his next target."

Sukuna snarled at the comment, despising the insulting diction spewing from Satoru's disgusting hole called his mouth. He rolled his eyes as the other male began to speak.

"Now, now, Satoru. From the looks of it, it seems that Ryomen has finally found out what love is," Suguru defended.

Though the term was very foreign, Sukuna found comfort and relief from it. His heart rate increased rapidly with no chance of calming down. Satoru immediately scoffed in disbelief.

"Love, schmove. We all know one he gets his hands on her, she'll be kicked to the curb within the next minute," the white hair mentioned.

"I don't know about that. By the way he was looking at her, I would say our friend here is quite intrigued. He basically had heart eyes," Suguru teased.

Before further bickering could occur, Sukuna was startled by a gentle tap on his shoulder. He turns to find you standing there, backpack on, your phone and notebook in hand and with the most beautiful smile he's ever seen. The way your cheeks plump up, creating crescents with your eyes, how your dimples dented deeply into your cheeks displaying the genuine emotion when greeting him, he felt his knees go weak.

"Hi, Sukuna-senpai," you greet. "Hello, Gojo and Geto-senpai."

You greet them all with a bow with them responding back, though Satoru seemed quite agitated from the previous conversation.

"I came to drop this off to you."

Gently, you placed his phone on the table in front of him. Shock overcame as he recalled missing his phone, but believed he forgot it at home.

"H-How--?"

"Yesterday, after our study session, you forgot it at the library and I don't know where you live, so I held on to it for the time being. Plus, I couldn't find you earlier during down time, so I thought it'd be best to try during lunch."

"Wow. T-Thanks. I appreciate it," he says with a blush.

Before you could even return his gratitude out of courtesy, you were rudely interrupted.

"Oh, please. Forgetting at the library? Couldn't find him? Bullsh*t. Did you go through his phone or something? C'mon, be honest," a feminine voice interfered.

Suguru, along with yourself, turn your heads to see a woman while Sukuna and Satoru, on the other hand, growled in clear annoyance, able to recognize that sultry yet irritating voice.

There stood Kanjuro Mizuki, Sukuna's most persistent and most toxic ex.

She's in the same grade level as you, therefore, she's younger than all three men present. However, due to her high stature and wealthy upbringing, she always got what she wanted. But, she never knew how to play nice or let things go and if the issue was addressed with her present, she'd make your life a living hell, even if it was her partner.

You could say Sukuna's reputation rotted unnecessarily because of her, shortly after they broke up since she cheated on him for the umpteenth time, yet she had the audacity to accuse him of being the toxic and abusive one. The chick even made a whole scene in the hallway, in class, and on her social media with tears, acting skills, and a bruising makeup kit.

People all over began to despise Sukuna more than you could believe. He could've denied it, especially since there was no legitimate evidence claiming he did or he didn't commit such crimes, but he knew there was no use since everyone was so strong in believing his ex, so he allowed the public to portray him as such, though the constant bruising on his body proved otherwise.

"What do you want, Mizuki?" Sukuna asked with irritation audible in his tone.

"Well, Ryo-cha--"

"Don't. Ever. Call. Me. That."

She grumbled, but refused to allow her pride to be wounded.

"Fine. Anyways, are you sure this fat b*tch isn't trying to stalk you? I've seen desperation before, but this takes the cake," she remarks.

"Look, who's talking, b*tch," Satoru mumbled.

"Come again," she snapped at the white hair.

"I said what I said, hoe."

"You wanna go, Satoru?"

The said male stood up, about to throw some hands, but Sukuna placed his hand on the former's chest, shaking his head, telepathically messaging the white haired male to calm down before he falls into the woman's hands.

With clenched fists and gritted teeth, Satoru sat back down in defeat, scoffing, before crossing his arms to sulk similarly to a child.

Mizuki giggles mischievously.

"Hmm, thought so. Anyway, I understand why you'd be into a twerp such as Ryo-chan, but new flash, hon. This?"

She motions her hands up and down, scanning your body with disgust plastered on her face.

"This ain't it, babe," she chuckles.

The woman struts herself in front of the seated male, lowering her back to meet his gaze. If your eyes didn't deceive you, you'd say Sukuna seemed shaky and nervous as he struggled to confidently confront the woman before him.

"Leave her out of this, Mizuki," Sukuna butted in.

The woman dies laughing.

"C'mon, even if she was your type, you'd probably use her like the rest of them did. Or maybe the other way, I don't know what's in that f*cked mind of yours. In fact, I don't even understand why either of you would be interested in each other," she states with an amused cackle.

Her hands inconsiderately begin an assault around his body, especially his groin. Her eyes spewed venom and twisted intentions as the male whimpered under her touch. He tensed in, what resembled, fear as she continued her harassment. She lightly giggles at his reactions until the action resulted into harsh grips on her wrists. Mizuki met eyes with Sukuna, startled at the sudden contact.

His gaze burned into her souls, seeping hatred and disgust for the woman sitting on him. It didn't take a genius to see "anger" was an understatement of the wrath Sukuna was close to unleash on this woman. Yet, it was easily wavered by a smirk that crept upon her face.

"F*ck off, Mizuki," Sukuna snarled, attempting to seem unbothered by her presence.

With her smirk remaining, she yanked both limbs out of his grip and caressing his face, but he flinched horribly. Her smirk transformed into a wicked grin, indicating that she was getting off to this.

Satoru and Suguru shifted forward as they immediately were about to handle the situation, but they glanced to you for a moment and they swore Satan himself possessed your body as your completely shifted.

Your fluffy, soft exterior began to harden as your wrath was soon to be unleashed on this woman that was assaulting your dear senior. Analyzing your glare at the woman, they glanced at each other, nodding, agreeing that it'd be best--and more entertaining--to have you handle this.

"Oh, no. Did I huwt Ryo-chan's feewings? Aw. How precious," she mocks.

She then yanks his hair from the back of his head, snapping his head up. With a yelp, Sukuna's breathing became ragged as he couldn't deny the fear swarming his body at that instant.

"You know I'm right. Need I remind you I was the only one who stayed with you all this time, Ryomen. I never left you unsatisfied in bed, I always made sure that you were well taken care of, I made sure you were happy and most of all, I was the only one who ever loved a pig like you. Everyone else? You threw them aside as if they were used toys or vice versa. Admit it."

She sits on his lap placing her fingertips underneath his chin, causing him to meet her smug gaze.

"You need me," she whispered.

Without anyone noticing, you sat your belongings on the side of the table and began to tie up your hair in a lazy bun. You gently place your glasses away as you rolled up your hoodie sleeves.

The pure evil in her eyes demanded dominance as it steered itself deeply into his soul, causing him to tremble. His breath began to quicken in panic, tears brimmed the edges of his eyes as fear was no longer resembled, but present in his expression. The woman laughed at the pathetic, submissive response from the male. He clenched his fists harshly, but before he could do something he would regret, you swiftly gripped her arm immediately pulling her away from him, having her face you.

"What the--?"

Slap.

The impact on her cheek made such a satisfying and clean sound, increasing the level of sadism that was yet to be released. She yelps pitifully as she was literally flown across the concrete. Frozen and stunned, she glares at you while your expression became dull and blank.

"Mizuki-san, you do understand what personal boundaries are, right?"

Your tone dripped in sweet sarcasm, almost in a whisper which contrasted from the intense aura radiating from your body. Even the three males were astounded by this new persona.

Mizuki cackles, refusing to seem weak in public, especially in front of Sukuna.

"Honey, please. You're really defending a pig like him? Well, then again, animals do tend to protect their own kind," she comebacks with a smirk.

Expectant of an outburst, instead Mizuki was given a laugh from the woman in front of her.

"Well, pigs do tend to go for trash until they find decent food. I mean, Sukuna-senpai did end up dating you," you growled.

The three seniors beside you pursed their lips in resistance of bursting out laughing, though the white haired male was more dramatic with it.

Visibly embarrassed, anger riled up Mizuki's adrenaline, so she stormed up to you in attempt to hit you.

"You f*cking b--"

"Ah, ah, ah. Trash don't talk, do they?"

You push her away from the table once more, causing her to stumble a bit. Bit by bit, you slowly began to lose rationality and your morals of remaining non-violent no longer existed within you, at the moment. The female recollects herself as her suppressed fury no longer remained oppressed.

"You brat! Why is your fat*ss so persistent anyways?! Is money your motive?! Huh?! Fame or sex?! Not like you'd get far looking like that, sl*t!" She exclaims, attracting unnecessary attention around campus.

"Last time I checked, you opened your legs more than your books these past few years. Last time I checked, you lost all that damn weight by wiping off that make-up and gained it all back with plastic surgery. Seriously, sis, them tits ain't fooling nobody."

The crowd around the area began to murmur within themselves as a few chuckles and laughs were heard as well. Attention increased as the campus became intrigued seeing the campus' spoiled brat was finally being told off. Seeing such a result caused anxiety to conjure within the woman before you.

"W-Well, you're not the special either, b-b*tch!"

"Did I say I was? You were the one who wanted to start something since you obviously thought you were all high and mighty, right? So, come on. You talk so big when you assault a man, how come you're not fighting back to another woman? Huh? I know why," you comment.

You kick her leg, tripping her, having her fall face flat on the concrete. Bending down, you yank her hair, forcefully having her meet your deadly glare.

"You're just weak."

You gave her a nice uppercut, earning a shriek from her. "Oh's" and "Ah's" could be heard from the crowd as a few laughs were heard as well. You towered over her, remaining blank and lifeless in your expression.

"You knew he wouldn't hit you back, that's why you talk a big game. But, I don't mess with that," you say with such malice.

She screeches in desperation as she stands up and goes towards your direction. Offended, she attempted to slap you, but instead, you took ahold of her wrist and twisted it in an instant, but not harsh enough to break anything, though you did want to hear a refreshing crunch of bones before a satisfying scream of agony.

You were quick to punch her to the floor with your free arm, almost knocking her out. Her nose began to bleed as she sat up in panic of the redness flowing down. Backing up, fearful of another blow, which was coming her way regardless, you make one last right hook before grabbing her collar, lifting her effortlessly off the ground.

"Touch him again and this little piggy will pork chop you into next week, you heard?"

You drop her on the floor, coldly walking away with your back facing her, but you freeze.

"And make sure to tell your dad I said, 'Thanks'. He sure left this pig squealing last night," you wink.

The crowd gave diverse reactions as a portion laughed and squealed in amusement, exactly to Satoru, another portion had a share of whispers and smirks, similar to Suguru, and the remainder became speechless, comparable to Sukuna.

You shrug nonchalantly as you returned back to the three males who sat there shocked of the kind responses you spat towards Mizuki's snarky remarks. Ignorant of her humiliated stature, you began to gather your belongings as she stood up and just scoffed in pain and embarrassment, storming off shouldering a few people along the way.

Once she left, the three men laid their eyes on you as they remained tense and dumbfounded by the scene that had unfolded. With a sigh, you wore your backpack once more before retrieving your glasses and tilted your glasses up on your nose bridge in a comfortable position. You took ahold of your phone and other belongings as well, dusting yourself off and readjusting your clothes and stature. Even your hair was brought out of the bun into the luscious form it was in moments before Mizuki came.

You shyly grin in embarrassment, seeing the amount of attention and unnecessary action you caused.

"Sorry for that. I didn't mean to interfere in your personal life, Sukuna-senpai. I just didn't like how she was treating you. H-Hehe," you nervously chuckle.

Their amazed expressions remained, almost as if they were deaf of the words you spoke.

"Marry me," Satoru spouted.

You almost jumped at the proposal, but giggled nervously.

"Uhh, senpai? I-I think you misspoke."

"No, I didn-- Ow!"

The male was quickly silenced by a harsh hit on his head made done by the very male you defended.

"Shut up, bastard! She's mi--"

Sukuna froze in his place, just realizing the words he was about to release. He turned to you afraid of your reaction, in case you were able to resemble the sentence he lacked to finish. He found you holding your mouth with shoulders bouncing, indicating you were resisting your laughter. Instead of embarrassment, his heart melted at the sight in content.

"Gojo-senpai, you're as mischievous as ever," you state with a laugh.

Subconsciously, Sukuna fondly smiled at your adorable guffaw as the other two watched in awe, seeing their supposedly cold-hearted comrade soften for a soul such as yours.

"Say, Y/N-san. Come sit with us, we just got some kikufuku, onigiri, ramen, and some other foods. We can't finish this all by ourselves," Suguru offered.

"Yes, we ca-- Yah!"

The white haired yelped in pain once more as a portion of the flesh of his thigh was twisted painfully by the male who made the kind offer towards you.

"I-It's alright. I don't want to stir more trouble for you guys. I probably made things worse."

"No!" Sukuna outbursted, catching all of you off guard.

"U-Uh, I mean, w-we weren't asking, you know? And you won't cause trouble. You actually helped u-us out a lot s-so, just eat with us, Y-Y/N. Let us treat you. It's no different w-when we're studying, r-right?" Sukuna stutters as his cheek flush into a darker shade of pink with every word spoken.

Contrasting from the two males smirking at Sukuna's shy statement, heat quickly rose to your own cheeks as you smiled dearly before nodding, taking up his offer. Hectic, he scoots over to give you room as you sat next to him. Satoru and Suguru sit smugly in their seats, enjoying the sight of their friend sitting tense and blushing by the woman next to him.

Various topics of conversation evolved left and right, keeping you occupied until you turn your head to notice the tense stance of the man next to you. His leg bounces and his fingers fidget, clear signs of anxiety, creating concern within you. The two others continued their own personal conversation as you gently place your hand upon his, causing to freeze and tense up more than before. Sweat trickled down his forehead as he turned to you, seeing your eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"Are you alright? Am I making you uncomfortable? I can leave if you need me to," you gently offer, almost in a whisper.

Too entranced by your consideration, neither of you realized the two pairs of eyes peering at the scene playing before them. Once making eye contact with you, his body soon relaxed into a slight smile as he held your hand in response.

"I'm alright, just a bit tired from today's events," he admits.

You sigh and smile, relieved. Almost about to retrieve your hand back, away from his, he instead interlocked fingers before laying his head on your shoulder. This time, you became frozen and tense in your spot with a deep red painted on your face.

"S-Senpa--"

"I don't have any classes for the rest of today, but do you want to hang out tonight? You know, after our study session?" He asks groggy and tired.

"Yeah, o-of course."

"Cool, I'll pick you up at 7."

"S-Sure," you answer with a stutter.

The two men stared in awe, glad to see their friend finally content and comfortable with another soul. It's not everyday you see Ryomen Sukuna, the campus' supposed playboy that uses and abuses every chick he sees, become soft for a soul as warm and sweet as honey.

Time Skip

"Perfect. Now, all to do is create an original transition term, briefly address your arguments, counter arguments, and rebuttal, concoct a call to action for the audience, and finish it with a closing personal statement or question," you explain.

Sukuna stares blankly back at you as if you spoke a foreign language. You chuckled in both amusement and embarrassment as you reiterated your explanation.

"Uh, just come up with a word that smoothly transitions to the next paragraph, but makes sure it's not repetitive. Then, rewrite your main reasons in preferably one sentence before coming up with a saying or question for the audience to think about."

His mouth resembles an 'O' shape, displaying his understanding, but your expression dropped.

"You still don't understand, do you?"

"You know me too well," he says, disappointed.

You chuckled at the cute expression, but it instantly dropped seeing the genuine disappointment on his face.

"Sorry, Y/N. I'm really trying, I promise," he softly stated, similar to a whisper.

His head hung low until you held his hand, similarly during lunch. His melancholic expression lifted into a timid blush as his eyes found yours. Your smile displayed itself once more, easing his mind despite his rapid heartbeat.

"I know, Sukuna-senpai. I wouldn't be here if you didn't," you reassure.

"Besides, literature isn't everyone's forte. In fact, nobody enjoys literature."

"You sure? You seem to be diverse in your dialect and vocabulary," he mocks in a goofy tone.

With a light hearted shove to his shoulder, you give him an eye-roll while he softly laughs at the joking atmosphere.

"Knowing and enjoying are incredibly different."

"Yeah, okay," he teases.

"Oh, hush, you jerk."

You both laugh, but keep the volume on the low, considering the fact that your session is in the library. After a few moments of humorously joking around with each other, you both managed to calm down and refocus yourselves on the original purpose of your presence in the library.

"Let's take a break from literature then, and just do math for now," you suggest and he nods in agreement.

In a lighter mood, you both took out your math assignments before discussing the necessary matters regarding the problems stated on the worksheets. It took a minute for you two to understand certain problems, but your cooperation with each other helped you both manage.

As moments pass as you continue to work on your assignments, Sukuna turned his attention to you for a few brief seconds, only to be trapped in an intense gaze, unable to retract itself from looking away at the adorable woman next to him.

With such admiration, he couldn't help, but melt at the sight of your glasses sitting cutely on your nose bridge. The unbreakable concentration you had as you neatly copied your studying notes from your laptop into your well-organized notebook had him subconsciously grinning from ear to ear.

However, it was quick to fade as he mentally slapped himself in attempt to refocus back on his assignments. Yet, he couldn't resist sneaking one last peek of you working. A slight piece of hair fell from your messy bun, falling gracefully in front of your face. It took all the strength he had inside to resist placing that piece of hair behind your ear.

He mentally slapped himself once more, upset at himself for doing such a creepy thing towards you. Sukuna attempted to go back into his work, but he could not sit idly while his mind kept wandering elsewhere, distracting him from the tasks at hand.

Without warning, he decided to just spill out what his heart had been aching to say.

"Thank you," he randomly spouts.

"Hmm?" You hum, still distracted with your work.

"Thanks for today. With, uh, Mizuki. Hadn't it been for you, I would have probably--"

"Done something you regret?"

His neck snaps towards your direction as you sighed before placing down your pen and turning to face him, containing eye contact.

"I could see it. You were restraining yourself, but you were left vulnerable. I couldn't sit by and let that snake abuse you again," you state softly but dangerously.

'Again?' he thought. 'How did she know?'

Sukuna sat there, speechless, too shocked to even think. You place both of his much bigger, calloused hands into your smaller, stubby ones. Your gaze towards him seemed determined and almost angry, but overall sympathetic.

"I could tell, senpai. You flinched and tensed with every step and touch she made towards you. For someone who claims to be "abused", she seemed quite touchy."

He avoids your gaze as he only then realized the obvious body language he displayed once Mizuki appeared.

"I-I, uh, I didn't think it'd be so obvious," he chuckled, sadly.

Your brows furrowed in worry once more seeing the humor your senior attempted to use to cope with his trauma.

"Why didn't you tell anyone, senpai?" You ask, quietly.

He shrugs with a depressing expression, unable to truly let himself process his emotions.

"No one wouldn't have ever allowed me to put my argument in, much less believe me. You know how everyone thinks of me. There'd be no point," he admits with such defeat and melancholy.

With a tight hug, you snuggle into the male's shoulder leaving him surprised. Once it processed in his mind, he hugged you back, grateful for the needed skinship.

"I believe you, senpai. I don't tolerate any form of abuse. Whether it'd be physical or mental, male or female victim, I don't care. If you don't feel safe, just know that I'm here for you, understood? That...is not a question."

Without realizing, a tear falls down his beautiful face as his emotions could no longer be held.

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course, Sukuna-se--"

"Ryomen. Just call me Ryomen," he corrected.

"A-Alright, Ryomen-kun. Are your alright?"

With eyes glimmering from his constant tears, he pulls away from the hug and stares back into your eyes.

"W-Why are you so nice to me?"

The question left you puzzled, wondering why he'd ask such a thing.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, don't you hate me? You know what people think of me, so why do you stay with me? You deserve so much better than a lowlife such as myself. A beautiful soul such as yours shouldn't be corrupted by the likes of m--"

His rant was cut short by a simple embrace of his lips with yours. He froze, startled at the sudden contact, but once his mind was able to process the moment, he melted into the kiss, reaching for your cheeks to caress and deepen the contact.

Usually, he'd flinch or avoid any form of contact with his face, but this time, he didn't mind. In fact, it was almost as if he had yearned for it. With such an exchange, he had only then realized how safe he felt when he's with you, therefore, his body let him relax in your arms.

He finally departed with such rosy cheeks and a few tears rolling down his gorgeous face. Your thumbs were so quick to wipe them away.

"I oughta beat your behind. Don't you ever say that about yourself, understood? All those bullsh*t rumors of you committing such things are stupid. They can't prove you did any of that, you would've been expelled and arrested if you did, and knowing you, you wouldn't hurt a fly."

Your words sunk deeper into his heart as he listened to your encouragement.

"You've been such a gentle and kind heart since the day we met. Everyone else misunderstands and misjudges you, all simply because they have no balls to talk to you and figure out your true nature. Instead, they listen to dog sh*t that people throw in the air. Don't mind them. They're too immature to identify a loving soul when they saw one."

Sobs soon escaped his mouth as you weren't hesitant to embrace him with such warmth and love once more. He quietly cries his emotions into your shoulder, leaving you heartbroken seeing this supposedly lowlife of a man realize the vulnerability within himself. Tears began to burn your eyes from the sight, but you were mainly ecstatic at the progress of the man in your arms in expressing his emotions.

He pulls away with a tear-soaked face while he hiccups from the lack of oxygen in lungs due to his excessive crying. You hold one of his hands while using your free hand to caress his cheek.

"Breath, darling."

He nods as he follows your deep breathing pattern, bringing down his constant hiccups. Once his breathing was decently stable, he looks at you with such sincerity.

"Thank you for everything, Y/N. You don't understand how grateful I am for you. It's just..." he states with a sigh.

"You know, it's hard to truly be myself around others. I mean, I honestly believed Mizuki was the one for me until she proved otherwise. But, my feelings for her were genuine, so when she told me that no one would be able to love me, I-I didn't know what to do."

He looks down, but you were quick to lift his gaze up to meet yours.

"I understand how it feels to be insecure or unworthy of love. I mean, do you see me? I obviously don't fit in society's standards of beauty and I've constantly hurt myself because of it. I've had my share of toxic exes as well, but after a while, I've come to realize that it all starts with self-worth. It took me time, but I managed to acknowledge my self-worth and you should too. It'll be quite the journey, but I'll be right here walking through it with you. You're worthy of so much more than what Mizuki had to offer."

You hold his face in your soft hands, staring intently into his eyes. He smiles, oh so softly, leaning into your gentle touch against his face. He kisses your palms in gratitude, melting your heart at the act.

Such a gorgeous sight.

Suddenly realizing your "too-close-for-comfort" skinship, your eyes widened as you yank your hands back in humiliation.

"S-Sorry! I didn't mean to do that! Well, I did, but you know-- I just, well, you know? And I-- mmph!"

Exactly as before, he silences your rambling with his lips. You were quicker to respond to such a romantic act with his hands on your cheeks. You hum in content as the kiss seemed much more passionate than the one before.

Finally pulling away, you both pant, out of breath from the recent acts of romance.

"That was fire," you state, slightly drunk from the intense scene that had occurred.

He laughs, amused of your reaction.

"Definitely."

A deep blush and shy beam radiated off both of your faces, yet you couldn't bring yourself to look at him despite his intense and attentive stare towards you.

"You're so beautiful, Y/N. I haven't felt so safe in my whole life until you came. Words cannot describe the yearning I have for you and I hope you feel the same," he confesses with light glimmering his eyes so graciously.

At this point, the heat in your cheeks increased so rapidly, you were close to being putty on the floor.

"D-Ditto, sen-- I mean, R-Ryomen-kun," you stuttered, awestruck of the current conversation taking place.

He couldn't resist laughing at your flustered state.

"You're too cute," he laughs.

You quickly were brought back to earth hearing his angelic voice laughing so handsomely. A few chuckles left your mouth as a result. Once you both dialed down, your eyes remained stuck in a love-struck gaze.

"S-So, what now?" You ask.

He shrugs as his fond gaze refused to falter along with his charming smile.

"I honestly don't know, but I do know that we're no longer 'just friends' anymore."

You hum in agreement as you timidly fidget with your fingers mustering every bit of courage to state the next line.

"Well, then, can I-- I don't know, maybe," you stutter unable to say your intended line.

"Can you what, bubs?" He slyly mentions.

The slight pet name threw you in a loop as you no longer could function. Your face blanked in surprise, keeping yourself still for a while. A snap in your face brought you back from your lost gaze, looking back to the male in front of you.

"Are you alright?" He gently asks.

"O-Of course, j-just thinking."

"About?"

You debate whether or not to admit it, but you couldn't miss such an opportunity.

"About when I can make you mi-- I mean, be your's? I mean, I w-won't push you to be min--"

"Yes," he randomly answers with a smile.

"A thousand times, yes. I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. That is, if you'll allow me to."

You peck his lips once more, combining foreheads.

"Of course," you respond with a gleam.

Unable to contain such excitement, he shares a passionate kiss once more, lifting you off the floor. You yelped in surprise as you felt yourself being twirled around as if you didn't weigh more than your average human being.

You mentally were grateful that you both enjoy studying in the very back of the library where almost nobody goes.

Eventually, you both pulled away as an idiotic grin remained plastered on his face.

"H-How are you carrying m--?"

"These guns aren't just for show, bubs," he winks, but instead of a flustered reaction, he received another eye-roll.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, you can put me down now, Mr. Beef."

"Aww, but I finally have the girl of my dreams in my arms. Can't I hold you a bit longer, bubs?"

He pouts, teasingly yet adorably, as you grumbled under your breath.

"After we finish studying," you negotiated.

He smiled before nodding in agreement. He gives one last peck on your nose before putting your down. Just as you both were about to be seated, a voice caught your attention.

"It's 6 o'clock, love birds."

"Right. Shouldn't you both be getting ready for tonight?"

Confused, you both turn your heads to find Satoru and Suguru standing behind you both, obviously coming out from hiding behind the book shelves.

"You little-- were you guys watching the whole time?!" Sukuna whisper-yelled.

"Well, not necessarily. Satoru was getting bored of just waiting, so he fell asleep until I woke him when things interesting," Suguru explained.

"And that would be?" You asked.

"When you told Sukuna you knew Mizuki was hitting him," the white-haired started with a stupid smile.

"I don't think that's something to say while smiling, senpai," you state.

"Right, my bad."

The male beside you was beyond pissed and embarrassed, whereas you were just confused and rather impressed at the fact that they managed to hide for so long.

"Sorry for intruding in your privacy, but we simply couldn't resist in witnessing our friend finally establishing a romance with the only girl on this campus that I'd respectfully call a woman," Suguru added.

"Yeah, you kick *ss, Y/N-san. After Mizuki, we weren't really sure if we'd accept anyone as Ryomen-chan's partner, but you're the only one who actually treats our friend well, so yeah. Just don't freak out when you find out he has an anime obsession. Them anime girls don't play around," Satoru says.

Sukuna did not hesitate to approach the white hair to give a nice bonk on Satoru's head, but you were quick to interfere.

"Wait! You watch anime, too?! Do you watch One Piece?! What about Studio Ghibli?! What's your favorite film?!" You ramble with eyes twinkling similar to a puppy's.

His anger soon withered seeing you so happy. Being such a hardcore geek himself, he didn't hesitate to respond.

"Y-Yeah. Didn't get far in One Piece, but still love it. With Studio Ghibli, maybe Ponyo or Grave of the Fireflies?"

You gasped in amazement, absolutely ecstatic at this new fact of your new partner. Literal stars dazzled from your eyes.

The three of the men couldn't help, but be heart struck of your reaction.

"That's it. Suguru, we're looking for thick babes from now on," Satoru whines, feeling single seeing his friend with such a lady.

"For once, I can't disagree with you," the latter states.

"Have fun on your date, you two. Treat her nice, Ryo, or else, Satoru and I won't be able to help ourselves and you know how much we love to share."

Boom, red all over your face.

The two wink in unison as they leave the library, leaving you and your slightly irritated boyfriend alone. Your man was quick to turn to you, almost desperate and hurt.

"Please don't leave me, bubs. I can't lose you, especially to the likes of them," Sukuna snarls.

You laugh at his jealousy and shared a peck on his forehead as he pouted.

"Would never, baby. Only you."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed!

Good night, my loves ❤

#anime and manga #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #Sukuna x chubby reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk manga #jjk fluff #jjk sukuna #jjk angst

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