Tumgik
#how long part 8
soubi122 · 6 months
Text
How Long? PT 8 - Finale
All, this was a rollercoaster of emotions - thank you so much for your support and patience with this series.
WARNINGS: Manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, pregnancy, fear, angst, anxiety, suggestive, mentions of death/murder, cheating, overall toxic behavior, destructive behavior, smut, fluff- if I missed anything in the warnings I'm sorry!
Homecoming
Arriving back home, you began to plan out your revenge. How could you make him hurt as much as he’s hurt you? Could you risk setting up one of his little sidechicks to clash with his pregnant mistress and make everything come crashing down. He had plenty to choose from. Like vultures they came in to see what scraps they could get after your death. It would be risky and you would need to ask Mikey for permission, with you being back in Tokyo - your life was no longer yours. 
The sound of his phone vibrating only made you even more annoyed. You were so close to smashing it against a wall but you stopped yourself, you couldn’t destroy your evidence. Without a moment to spare, you began to print his messages, pictures included. Ugh, it made you sick to your stomach having to read these things again. Seeing all the women he was messing with and worst of all - the bullshit ‘I love yous’ that he would say. I love you. Those words meant nothing to him, he oh so casually threw them around to these women. It was like throwing bread crumbs to pigeons. They were eating that shit up and not even second guessing it.
After about an hour of printing, taping papers to the wall and making a mess out of Mikey's living room - you decided to take a break. Sprawled out on the floor, you remained quiet and stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity. Your vision began to get blurry and the throbbing in your chest wouldn't cease. It got worse and worse with each passing second, you ended up curling up on the floor and crying your little heart out. Even though you already made up your mind, it was still hard to get over it. The betrayal, the lies, the pain, everything… It was hitting you all at once. Ran always found a way to break you. The echoes of your cries reached Mikey as he walked through the doorway. Without hesitation he bolted to where you were. “Angel? What hap…pened?” He paused and looked around his living room. The explicit content made him feel sick. Turning to look at you on the floor, he reached over to pick you up and cradled you in his arms. Your sobs and hiccups made a pang in his chest. He hated seeing you like this, you didn't deserve any of this. 
Softly speaking and leaning in to place a kiss on your forehead, Mikey asked you to explain. After spilling your heart out to him, he embraced you tighter and apologized to you. He should have stayed with you last night but already warned you not to leave the house again. “Manjiro…I feel like I never really knew him.” You cry and bury yourself in his chest. All his bullshit ended up swallowing you whole. “I don’t know who I fell in love with….” You say softly into his chest. The poison honied tone could have made Mikey set the world on fire for you. “We’ll figure this out.” He says softly and places a kiss on your forehead. A simple well placed hand on your belly made Manjiro bite the inside of his cheek, this gesture - did you really want…one? Would you want one with him or was this a breaking point for you? 
*meanwhile*
Ran and the others continued their plans on how to contain the hellfire that was unleashed amongst Bonten. The master of keeping tabs of everyone (Sanzu), was able to track down every single person who the pregnant woman was in touch with. Kokonoi traced all call records and texts between the woman and her contacts - all her information was at their fingertips. “Remember, this needs to be a covert operation.” Kakucho said before they began hunting down all of her contacts. Needless to say, Ran was in charge of silencing his mistress. 
On the way home, Ran’s hands began to tremble - he was letting this get the better of him. The thoughts racing inside his head were making it difficult to focus on the road ahead. His car’s center console alerted him of an incoming phone call. It made his stomach drop, speak of the devil. He thought to himself when he read the caller ID. Picking up the call and answering with a dry Hello, he waited for her squeaky little voice to say babe. It was silent, he got a little irritated and was about to call out again but the sound of someone breathing heavily and sniffles made his ears perk up. “(M/N)? Oi?! Can you hear me?” He yelled and pulled over to the side of the highway. “Ran… come home - now!” Her voice was full of panic and fear. “Shit… I'm almost there.” He said and sped down the highway. Ran couldn’t afford to have her think he didn’t care about her, not when she held so much leverage against him. But what could have her all shaken up?
When he finally made it home, he was surprised to see his pregnant mistress standing by the doorway. She had tears in her eyes and the moment she saw him, she threw herself into his arms, crying and stuttering over her words. “W-who could have d-done this?” She cried and clung to him. Ran’s head turned to look through the doorway and his stomach dropped. His home was a disaster. Broken glass, torn papers, clothes and various items scattered everywhere. Was there really someone stupid enough to try and rob/trash the home of a Bonten executive? To make matters worse, what if your pregnant mistress was there at the time this took place? They would have jeopardized his plan to silence her. “Stay here.” He instructed her and walked inside. Everything was in disarray, there was no place in his home that wasn’t fucked with. Walking inside his bedroom, he saw that all his belongings were either broken or torn. What really set him off was seeing his picture frame shattered - the proposal photo of you and him was shredded. He felt his blood boil. Something caught his eye, his baton was on the floor amongst the destroyed belongings. This was personal, this was done by someone who knew of where his momentous were hidden. There were only three people in the world that knew where he kept that thing. You, Rindou and his pregnant mistress. There was no way it was Rindou as he was with Ran the entire time, it sure as hell couldn’t have been you as you were taken by Mikey and were to remain hidden until all this blows over. The only person was…her. 
To make matters worse, she was always jealous of you and begged him to get rid of your photo - she couldn’t stand the sight of it. Jealousy on a woman was always an ugly thing to him. Even if he was the cause of it. Funny how he finds jealousy appalling and yet he had the gull to come at you like that back home. Ripping up the photo seemed like something she would do. Could it have been possible that she found out about your return? Rumors could have spread the moment Ran departed for Wakkanai. She always kept tabs with the underlings, so hearing that Ran disappeared after a mysterious revelation - it wouldn’t surprise him that she knew. All fingers pointed in her direction. Walking out of his penthouse, he kept a calm demeanor and only consoled his mistress. She was genuinely terrified but all he could see was red. Playing the victim and pretending to be innocent, it suited her. “Ran, could someone be after our baby?”  She cried pathetically, in his eyes. “No, no sweetheart - unless, you told everyone already about it?” He said in a low sweet tone, the number one rule in the underground was to keep your family affairs out of the picture. She stuttered and cried even louder. “I’m so sorry, I told a few friends! I was so excited and happy to become a mother.” She blurts out and pouts. They both knew that she fucked up, it puts not only the baby at risk but it also puts Ran at risk. 
“Let’s go back to the office, you’ll be safe there…” He said and pulled her in close, the fake affections were so perfect that she didn’t suspect the real danger she was in. He was trying his hardest not to choke the life out of her. The poor girl has no idea that the devil has other plans for her. 
Bringing her back to the office, he sat her down and was being sweet to her. Coddling her and comforting her, trying to ease her worries. He felt disgusted with himself. (oh how the tables have turned) Dealing with a pregnant woman was overwhelming for him, especially when it wasn’t someone he loved. With a seductive pout, she asked Ran for a kiss - he gave it to her. It tasted bitter to him as he closed his eyes. The lips he’s kissed often now felt foreign, they felt like sandpaper against his and he compared her to you. Thinking about how your lips were soft and plush, your sweet taste and the sound of your voice. You were everything to him, you controlled his heart and had a hold on him like no other - Ran lost himself in you and ended up deepening the kiss with his mistress. She wrapped her arms around his neck and proceeded to return his misguided affection. He put his hand against her belly and caressed it, remembering you on the airplane holding that child - it made his chest hurt. He wanted nothing more than for you to carry his child. To make him a father and give him a new reason to live. With a breathy moan, Ran spoke without thinking - “Fuck… I love you so much.” This made his mistress elated, “I love you too, Ran.” This continued for several minutes until Rindou walked through his office door, “What the hell happened?” It made Ran snap out of his delusion and realize who was in front of him. He felt his heart drop. He slowly pulled away from her, making it almost seem as if he’s saddened to go. The moment he walked out the door, he made a beeline towards the men’s bathroom and rinsed his mouth. Rindou trailed behind him and tore him a new one. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” He shoved Ran and pinned him against the wall by his collar. For Rindou to go against his elder brother, it was some serious shit. “Get your shit together and make your fucking choice!” He almost snarled at Ran. The younger Haitani couldn’t stand to see Ran in this pathetic state, he could see cracks in his brother's face and only prayed that he wouldn’t crumble. The realization of his actions hit Ran like a truck, he told her he loved her. He shared emotions meant for someone else. Rindou released his brother and told him to take a few minutes to breathe and focus on eliminating the current problem. Ran felt like vomiting, anguish was eating away at him and he couldn't hold it in. Confusion plagued his mind and didn’t know left from right. He proceeded to throw up and wished you were here to assuage him. He was losing his mind.
“Did anyone say anything when I left Tokyo?” Ran asked his brother, he was pensive. He needed to formulate some sort of plan before walking back into the office. The last thing he wanted was for his mistress to catch wind of the real reason as to why she was brought to headquarters. Rindou gave him the rundown of everything that happened while he was gone. Rumors were quick to spread but only the main 8 knew the actual truth of you being alive, Mikey was quick to apprehend those who were linked to the underling that brought Ran your photo. The one thing that they were able to confirm was that the underling was not alone when he came across your photo. Whether or not it was too late to confirm how much information was leaked, no one knew. Ran needed to be on his toes around his mistress.
After about fifteen minutes, he straightened up and headed back to his office. "Baby, is everything ok?" She asked him and was about to stand up but he stuck his hand out and gestured for her to remain seated. “Who did you tell exactly and who knows that you've been staying at my place? We need to know to make sure that you and the baby will be safe.” Ran's words were laced with concern and had a hint of warmth in them. Maybe with enough sweetness she'll fess up about the incident at his apartment. “Please…” Oh how his honeyed tone of voice makes all the women fall. Even you at some point. At first she was hesitant about speaking, she didn’t want him to kill her friends and back ups. She fiddled with her hands and pouted as she remained silent and kept her head down. “Is there something you’re hiding from me?�� His tone was a little cold and she immediately raised her head in a panic. The look on her face reflected nothing but fear. Maybe she said something more about the pregnancy, something that he has yet to find out. “You know the type of enemies we have. Do you want them to kill our baby?”  He asked in a low tone. 
She began to squirm in her seat and sniffle, bingo… It was her turn to talk. “Ran, I swear I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want you to deny our baby!” He didn’t flinch, he knew he was right about her and the incident involving his home. “Explain. Now…” His mistress cracked like an egg and began to explain to him about her potential blackmailing. Yes, she found out about his trip to Wakkanai and why. Her jealousy took it too far and she didn’t want her place to be taken again. “I didn’t think that anyone would betray me like this! I was scared you’d leave me. You’d leave me for a woman who looks like (Y/N)...I know you would.” With every word she spewed, Ran was feeling his fingers twitch, how could she be this stupid? The consequences of jeopardizing a Bonten member are dire - death would have been dealt by his own hands. “I’m begging you, please - stay with me. I will do better. I won’t be able to replace her, I know that but please… give our baby a chance.” His mistress was holding her belly and on her knees at this point, begging him to stay with her. It made Ran sick. 
He had no choice but to keep her close to him, though he could not overlook her destroying his home - he needed to pretend that he accepts her and the baby. “I’ll get us a new place to stay for now - you will need to remain there and do not leave that apartment no matter what. You painted a target on your back by announcing your pregnancy. You cannot trust anyone, do you understand?” Ran signed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Making the arrangements should have been simple but he had a lot to try and salvage from his home. 
He cleared this decision with Kokonoi, no one else was to know of her location. By the end of the night, he had already sent his mistress to the new apartment and got some of her things settled there. She was foolish enough to surrender her two phones to Ran in place of a new one that only had Bonten’s contact information on it. She pretty much sent her friends to an early grave - they were being executed for the right and wrong reasons. She had no idea of what Ran was really accusing her of. 
By the end of the next day, Ran had already cleared out his penthouse with the help of a cleanup crew and was still as blind as ever. He didn't notice his extra mobile device missing, either that or he figured that she destroyed it and it got tossed with the rest of his now useless belongings. The plan proceeded in full force, the hunt was on for all her contacts and Ran continued his act. Multiple calls were made to him about the incident at his apartment. Though the rest of the group was against shielding his mistress, they understood that it needed to be done until they eliminated all threats. “I understand, please - just don’t mention any of this to (Y/N).” Ran said over the phone as he stood in his empty penthouse. Memories of his past flooded his head… Seeing you dance across the kitchen as you cooked or when you cleaned, he wanted it back. Your sweet smile was all he used to look forward to when coming home. Now, he can't even look at you without feeling guilty about everything he's done. “I don't know how long you'll be able to keep her in the dark… But she will find out and when he does - you'll lose her.” Takeomi lectured Ran. Though he didn’t need to be reminded, he accepted Takeomi’s advice. 
Several days later, Bonten had already rounded up more than half of the mistress's contacts that knew about her pregnancy. The pile of corpses only made them much more fearsome than the authorities could handle. Under the guise of 'for our baby' excuse, Ran tried to keep her disconnected from the world. He didn't allow her to call anyone, message anyone or even reach out to anyone on social media. All her phone activity was monitored and any attempt to reach out to anyone other than Ran was alerted to Bonten headquarters. His mistress was getting restless from staying in the one bedroom apartment that Ran rarely visited. When he did visit, it was only for an hour or two, it was the obligatory check-in. When he noticed her disappointment, he would bring her flowers or snacks to try and keep her as complacent as possible. His mind was so focused on her that he felt as if he was forgetting something. 
“Ran, can we go out somewhere, please?” She pouted and wrapped her arms around him. Her belly was starting to get in the way of her pressing her whole body against him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea-” He began to respond but was cut off by her pouting even more and burying herself into his chest. “I feel like I’m going insane in this apartment.” Ran knew he had to keep her happy until the final contact was tracked down. With a heavy sigh, he agreed and let her decide where she wanted to go. She wanted something sweet and they decided to visit a crepe shop. That was the only thing she shared with you, your sweet tooth. 
*back at Mikey’s* 
“Angel, he thinks his mistress was the one who trashed his home. You’re kind of off the hook…” Mikey says and gives you a pat on the head as you remain seated on the couch. You smiled softly, but there was emptiness in your eyes. You wanted to go home already, you missed your cozy home, your cafe and the cool ocean air nipping at your cheeks in the morning. “Are you going to tell him that you know?” Mikey asked, snapping you out of your daze. You felt heat creep up your cheeks, you were angry, embarrassed and hurt. Overhearing about Ran hiding his mistress and giving her an apartment, you expected nothing and yet you were still disappointed with him. He hadn’t checked in with you since that day you left the office. Ran completely forgot about you, he didn't even bother using Mikey as a messenger between the two of you. 
The days spent at Mikey’s you either slept on the couch or in his bed. Manjiro would come home and carry you to bed if you were asleep on the couch. He'd take any opportunity to get close to you without making it too obvious. However, your little loungewear had him palming himself at night or locking himself away in another room, quietly relieving his tension. It felt like old times again but he refused to do anything that could make you uncomfortable. Sometimes all you need is a single spark to set plans in motion. If all goes the way it’s supposed to, he might not have a chance to tell you how he really feels. 
With a light kiss on your forehead, Mikey prepared to leave for the office and stood up. Kokonoi needed him to sign off on a few things and also review the ongoing situation with Ran. “Can I count on you to be here before midnight?” You ask and look up at him, your cute little doe eyes made Mikey almost lose his composure. How could an innocent gesture make his member throb and twitch? This angle looked rather lewd in his eyes. He felt his heart rate spike and his mouth was salivating. All he needed was to picture his cock in your mouth and - “Mikey?” You say his name and he comes back to reality. There was an intense look in his eyes. “Hmm? Yes?” He responds with a bit of shyness. “Is there something wrong?” Shaking his head no, he swipes his thumb on your lower lip and begins to head out the door. He left you dumbfounded and your heart skipped a beat. That look in his eyes was similar to that night, only this time you are sober to see through it and understand his hunger. 
A few hours after his leave, you began to get restless and peckish. Mikey didn’t really have a lot of food at home and you haven’t left his place since - you had no choice but to step out. Easily, you can order takeout but with the cloud looming over your head, you wanted to see if a walk could make it go away. Taking precautions as always, you wore Mikey’s baggy clothes, a face mask and a hoodie. The hood was over your head and helped cover your eyes, making it harder for people to see your face. I know I promised to stay inside but I feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s just like the first time. You think to yourself and walk out the door. Taking the longest and most relaxing walk down the streets, your mind started to feel at ease. Stopping by a small crepe shop, you ordered a snack and made your way to a park that had a beautiful pond in the center. It was the Shibuya botanical garden, there was no better place to come and relax, especially by the pond. It’s not the ocean but it’s still a beautiful view. Very few people were here during the weekday, it made it so much easier to just take in the sights and light earthy scent. 
The soft cool breeze had you inhaling deeply and exhaling in bliss. Your head almost felt fuzzy, it was serene and almost quiet. Closing your eyes, you lean back into the bench and just let go of your worries. Soon this would all be over, you could go home and go back to the life you left behind. You wanted nothing more than to sink your teeth into a sandwich and a hot cappuccino, your cafe’s pastries also crossed your mind and you felt homesick. Everything started to look rather clear, that is until - “Ran, look at this! It’s beautiful.” The familiar voice pierced your ears, you opened your eyes and sat up immediately. The voice was distant but close enough for you to hear, your eyes were darting around behind you and your heart began to pound inside your chest. You were praying that it was just your imagination. Soon the voice spoke again, “Look! It’s a family of ducks, they have a baby - just like we will soon.” Her tone was warm and full of love, she was happy. Turning to your left, you saw what you wished you didn’t. It was Ran and his pregnant mistress - they were at a distance but you recognized those purple strands anywhere. They were a few benches away from you. 
You felt your heart drop to your stomach. His right arm was wrapped around her and his left hand was caressing her belly. The sweet smiles on their faces felt like a slap to the face. Their conversation carried on as if the world revolved around them and there was no one else there. Try as you might, you couldn’t hold back the tears that stung your eyes. You were preparing to leave him, yes but you never imagined seeing him with her. Not like this, not like a beautiful loving couple expecting their first child. The fire burning inside your chest only made it hurt even more, it felt like he took a knife and stabbed you with it. You overhear him say, “I’m sure our baby will be just as beautiful.” He says and cups her face, bringing her into a tender kiss, making her back face you. He looked genuinely content and his body language suggested he made his decision. He was going to keep his mistress and the baby at his side. When he pulled away, he said something - something that plunged the knife even further into your chest. I love you. You didn’t have to hear it to know, the way his lips mouthed those words…it was as clear as day. 
Keeping your hood on, you removed the face mask so that your face could be seen. You wanted him to notice you. Standing up to walk in his direction, you looked straight at him and waited for your eyes to connect. Too lost in his own little charade, he didn’t notice you until it was too late, when he looked up - he froze. You just passed them and continued walking, the look in your eyes made him feel fear for the first time in his life. It was intense and it looked like everything was happening in slow motion. He felt a lump in his throat and his pulse quickened. He looked visibly distraught. “Ran? What’s wrong?” His mistress said and cupped his cheek. He felt his world tip on its axis and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. There was no mending the threads that unraveled. 
His next move made your blood boil even more, he snatched your wrist and yanked it towards him. “Baby, wait!” His mistress was caught off guard with his actions, who the fuck was he calling baby? When she leaned to the side to see who he was talking to, her expression dropped - it’s as if she saw a ghost. “Y-you… you’re alive?” She stuttered and held her belly in a protective manner. Your eyes never left Ran, the fire in them was smoldering him and he had nowhere to hide from it. “T-This isn’t what you think!” The loud sound of a smack made his mistress flinch. “Fuck you Haitani…” You spat and pulled away from him. Twice he’s felt the sting of your hand and it never got any easier. “He’s all yours…congratulations.” You say coldly and turn to leave. Behind you, you could hear him taking a step forward only to stop when his mistress screams his name. 
He was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he leaves now, she will not hesitate to make calls or scream out for help and draw attention. Bonten was also on the line. If he stays, he loses you forever. The pain in his chest only made it harder as you continued to walk away. He never thought…well that’s the thing - he never thinks. He didn’t think he was going to get caught, not after being so close to rounding up all his mistresses contacts. He would have gotten rid of her and had you in his arms. A Haitani always gets what he wants but this time the gods put a stop to their reign of ignorance. Clenching his fists, he turns his back on you. He made the hardest choice in his life, a choice that severed your ties for good.
Immediately heading back to Mikey’s place, you packed up what you could and booked the first flight back home to Wakkanai. There were no second thoughts and you couldn’t take it anymore. You didn’t know if it was heartbreak or disappointment. You thanked the undergods that you were able to book the last flight of the day. The flight leaves in 5 hours, it was enough time to make it to the airport and through check out. You could feel your hands shaking as you made your way out the door and into a cab, the driver looked rather concerned. “Are you alright?” His soft tone made you bite back tears. “Oh, yes. It just feels bittersweet to go home.” You say and smile, trying to hide the maelstrom of emotions bubbling inside you. The ride carried on in silence. Looking out the window, you could only see those images flash in your mind. His arms around her and caressing her belly, you felt nauseous and disgusted with yourself. He made ‘love’ to you - he said he wanted a family with you when he already had started a family with another woman. Your head kept pounding and pounding, trying to massage your temples didn’t help - it felt like your skull was about to crack. “I know I’m not supposed to do this but, here. Please take this.” The driver says and hands you a small paper pouch. It was migraine medicine, the strong stuff too - this man was an angel. Taking the medication from between the slit in the divider - you thanked him and swallowed the pills. 
Once at the airport - you thanked him, paid and left him a hefty tip. What he said next made you pause, “Whatever you’re going through, I wish you the best. Just know you’re not alone.” It made you think about the one person who never failed you. Manjiro. You smiled and thanked him once more before walking away. 
At the counter, you present your ticket and finish the check in process. The moment you passed through airport security, you felt your phone vibrate - it was an unknown number. Ignoring it, you put your phone on airplane mode and sit in the waiting area until it’s time to board. Life really had it out for you, there were a few pregnant women or families with kids. Could it be any more obvious that life with a family would be impossible for you? After this, you didn’t want to open your heart again nor fall in love again. The taste of freedom was bitter.
Nothing echoed louder than the announcer calling out boarding numbers. It spooked you and made you jump, you were so lost in thought, that you weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings as much. You had to drown out the moms, the kids, the infants… it all made your skin crawl. Taking your place, you were grateful that you were placed all the way in the back and away from everyone. It wasn’t a full flight so your row was empty. When all lights dimmed, you laid your head back and felt your ears pop. The attendants would ask you every now and then if you needed anything as you looked dazed and your eyes were glossy. You would smile and respond softly, “Yes, I’m alright - it’s just an emotional homecoming.” It was a half truth but one that allowed you to keep the attendants from prying too much. 
The two hour flight felt like an eternity. While the plane was in taxi, you removed your phone from airplane mode - it stayed quiet for a total of 45 seconds before it kept buzzing non stop. The slew notifications wouldn’t stop, you were getting messages from Mikey and unknown numbers. You didn’t have the heart to open any of the messages, not at least until you got home - breaking down in public was not something you wanted. The cab ride was quick and quiet, the people on this side of the island kept to themselves. Stepping foot inside your home, you threw yourself on the couch and broke down. At this point, you didn’t know what you were crying for anymore. Was it over Ran, was it out of frustration, self pity or just everything all together? It felt like you had no more tears left after a good thirty minutes of crying. You were screaming into the couch pillows and clutching your chest. Nothing you did made sense anymore. Should you have gone to Bonten headquarters to tell Mikey? Should you have just stayed at his place until he came back and then asked for permission to leave? Would Ran have kept you waiting until it was too late? All the questions swirled inside your head and you felt like you were drowning. Your body was having a full blown panic attack when you looked at the messages from Mikey. Words could not describe his responses. His messages were as follows:
Thursday at 1236. From Manjiro: Did you book a flight back home?! The credit card pinged a large transaction with an airline. End.
Thursday at 1246. From Manjiro:  Where the hell are you? End. Thursday at 1301. From Manjiro: (Y/N), I’m begging you - pick up the damn phone. End. Thursday at 1305. From Manjiro: Angel, you need to tell me what’s going on. Please. End. Thursday at 1341. From Manjiro: I told you not to leave the house for a reason. Ran just came into the office with his pathetic heart in his hands. End. Thursday at 1403. From Manjiro: You should have come to me first… End. Thursday at 1459. From Manjiro: I know by the time you open these messages - you will probably already be home. Please, just call me when you can so that I know you’re alright. End.
Laying on that couch staring at the ceiling after your breakdown, your body felt numb. Your vision was coming in and out of focus, your hearing would fade in and out and your limbs felt like lead. Something inside you was screaming that you betrayed Manjiro. He trusted you and yet you didn’t even bother trying to confide in him. Everything was twisted and distorted in your eyes. Before you could even fade into the abyss, you heard your phone ping one more time. It was the unknown number and you didn’t even bother to open the messages - not until you looked closer at the phone number did you realize it was Ran’s phone number. The abyss swallowed you whole and you passed out on the couch - dropping the phone on the floor and could hear nothing more than your heart slowly beating. 
Morning came and the slivers of sunlight slowly crawled their way through your blinds. The sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks at a distance was like a lullaby that you couldn’t help but welcome. No more cars zooming and honking, no sirens and no people. Tokyo couldn’t compare to your little treasure cove. However, the realization of having to abandon this home came crashing down on you. Now that Ran knows where you are - what’s stopping him from coming here again? Hoping into the shower, you washed up and let the hot water cleanse your skin - almost burning away Ran’s touch. When the burn became too much, you stepped out and wrapped yourself in a towel - still dazed and confused. You didn’t know what you were doing anymore. Could you even afford to start over without Manjiro’s help? 
Walking into your bedroom, you stripped your bed of the sullied bedsheets. Ran’s cologne lingered in the sheets - fuck he stained anything he touched. When your bed had fresh sheets, you threw yourself face first into the mattress - his scent was gone. Reaching for your phone, you scroll to find Mikey’s name in your contacts and hesitate to call him. You were afraid of what he might say. You shut your eyes and tapped the call button and waited for him to answer. The lump in your throat was making it hard to swallow and you felt your hands tremble. It didn’t even take one ring before he picked up your call. “Angel?” His voice was as sweet as honey and you couldn’t help but feel tears prick your eyes. “Manjiro…I’m so sorry.” You sniffle and repeat your apology. “I’m sorry, I just-” He cut you off and spoke while keeping a sweet tone. “Can you explain everything to me after you open the door?” Huh? Your mind short circuited for a moment. “W-What?” You stutter your response and sit up. “I said open the door, (Y/N).” He chuckles and knocks on the door. The knock echoed in your ears and you ran to the door, swinging it open rather violently in disbelief.  
Standing on the other side was Manjiro. His soft smile made your knees weak and you dropped down, still in disbelief that he was standing here. You waited for three years for him to come see you and now he’s here. Though the circumstances could be better - he was here for you. Picking you up off the floor, he pulled you in and closed the door behind him. Burying your face into his chest, you sob and clutch his jacket. Between sobs you spoke, “Tell me this isn’t a dream…you’re here.” It felt too good to be true. When he pulled away to cup your face, you could see the pain in his eyes. “You left without saying anything…” He leaned in and brushed his lips against yours. His breath fanned your lips and he dove straight into them when you hiccuped. You began to walk backwards, guiding him towards your bedroom, there was fear inside you. You wanted to make sure that he was as far away from the door as possible, you were scared he’d leave.
He made Ran’s bitter taste go away. Plush lips continued to kiss you and ease your mind. He wasn’t upset nor reprimanding you. “Manjiro, I'm so sorry.” You cry and wipe the tears from your eyes. Admitting that you were out of line was hard, you were so angry that you couldn't see past his concern. In a way he felt that you might take his visit the wrong way and say that he was taking advantage of your damaged state. But you weren’t just damaged goods, you were human, a woman that deserved the world and more. If Ran couldn’t be man enough to tell you the truth about the pregnancy and ended up hurting you more than what he already has - maybe you would close your heart and no longer let anyone in. Mikey decided to risk it at all and depart Tokyo - he didn’t care how it looked to anyone else. Sanzu already knew, there was no hiding it from him anymore. Not when Manjiro asked Kokonoi to find him the next flight to Wakkanai. He gave no explanation when asked why he’s giving chase to someone who was meant to be already dead. However, he did tear Ran a new one before he left. 
You spoke and blurted out all the things that were ringing inside your head. “I flinched…I fucking flinched and he enjoyed every second seeing me squirm.” He let you continue your rant. “You must think I’m pathetic for allowing myself to falter not once, not twice but thrice.” He understood your position and also the risk you were taking when he gave the order to come back to Tokyo. However, he miscalculated Ran’s fuck up. The pregnancy threw everyone for a loop. “Leaving him was the best thing you could have done.” He tries to reassure you. No, Ran left you for a second time. He let you go, all you did was sit and wait patiently for him. “He’s a fool, even I could have told you that.” Mikey’s words rang true. He felt your body tense up and hiccup, you were crying. 
On the island, you thought things would have been different, that Ran would have changed - he was desperate enough to come find you. You thought it was out of love, but it wasn’t. He was only trying to convince you to love him again so that he could get even with you. His ego was bruised and he wanted nothing more than to put you in your place. You thought maybe, just maybe, that Ran would have at least lived a better life after your so-called death. Perhaps it would be a wake up call or something. Mikey gave you an update not long after you left for Wakkanai - Ran was distraught and hurting. Your death affected him more than you thought. All updates about Ran stopped after you begged Mikey not to talk about him anymore. Things just never worked in your favor. Stumbling upon his other women, the pregnancy and now his intimate moment with his mistress - you felt disgusting, you felt used and dirty. 
Looking up at him you realized that Manjiro gave you everything you ever wanted - love, affection, loyalty, sincerity and a sense of security. Not once has he ever given you a reason to distrust him or doubt your feelings for him. Even now, knowing that Ran claimed your body, he hasn’t left your side and hasn’t blamed you for being human. 
An overwhelming sense of longing and desire took over, making you guide Mikey to the edge of the bed, pushing him into it and straddling his lap. “A-angel…what are you-” He stuttered and couldn’t even finish asking his question when you cut him off by kissing him. Your tongue darted into his mouth and dominated him. He tried to get you to stop so that he could catch his breath, but you were making his mind go blank. It's as if you latched on to him for dear life and didn't want to let go. When he managed to get some space in between the two of you, you felt pain. Plaguing your very thoughts were images of Ran with other women, the woman who was expecting his child, the very moment he made love to you on Wakkanai… It burned. You wanted to get rid of Ran's touch and his memory, and there was only one way how. “...help me.” You whisper into his lips, breath shaky and heart pounding - your plea broke his heart. You were so desperate, you'd even sell your soul to the devil himself to get rid of Ran's memory. 
How could he deny your cry for help? Without hesitation, he rolled you over and devoured your neck - giving you open mouth kisses, bites and hickeys. No one else mattered at this point in time. If this is what you wanted then he will give it to you. Mikey sat up and looked into your eyes, the light was fading and he couldn't have that. “I’ll take care of you… I’ll love you and give you anything and everything…” He spoke with a bit of worry on his tongue. Your response would either make or break him, it was a confession. Taking in a deep breath and placing your hands over your heart you exhale slowly. “You’re the only one who can fix my heart, Manjiro.” Your words not only gave him the green light, but they also meant that you were giving yourself to him. 
Mikey removed your towel and drank in your nude figure, he ran his calloused hands on your chest relishing in the softness of your skin. Your body was heaven to him, you were beautiful and seeing you so vulnerable - he knew you needed him. His hands roughly rolled your nipple between his fingers, it made you mewl and screw your eyes shut. Your moans made his member throb uncontrollably, three years of waiting - it was too much. Dipping down to place his mouth on your nipple, he trailed his hand lower to your honeypot and into your wet folds. The warmth had him on cloud 9. Sucking and biting your nipple, he roughly massaged your clit and played with the slick that was pooling. Without warning, he thrusted two fingers in your core and made your back arch like a cat. His thick fingers were stretching you out and hitting that spongy spot that had you drooling like a whore in heat. 
“Mhn…Manjiro-fuck fuck!” You moan loudly and grip the back of his head. The silver stands were now tangled between your fingers, he enjoyed having you at his mercy. As your hips rolled into his touch, you felt him bite your nipple, the pain made your mind focus only on him. Your moans echoed in the bedroom and you could have sworn that the neighbors could hear you. The way your walls kept clenching around his digits, it only made him bite harder. Your plea to erase Ran from your skin, Manjiro took it literally. Soon, your chest was riddled in bitemarks. Withdrawing his fingers from your messy hole he turned you over on your stomach - leaning in, he slowly slid himself inside you. As he did, he bit down on your shoulder. The sensation made you moan into the pillows and clench the bed sheets. To feel you again, to have you beneath him, Mikey thought that he was about to blow his load when he bottomed out. 
“Ngh… I’ve missed you so much, angel-oh fuck…” He moans into your shoulder. His shaky breaths and tremble of his lips against your skin had you mesmerized and drowning in a maelstrom of emotions. With his hands on your hips, he raised them higher so that he could get a deeper angle and hit that sweet spot. His hips thrusted slow and deep, he was giving you every ounce of love that you deserved. To feel how passionate he was with you, there was no doubt in your mind that he truly loved and cared for you. More and more you felt your mind at peace, leaving Tokyo was the right thing to do. 
Mikey’s nails were digging into your hips and his feral grunts sounded like a sweet symphony to your ears. Heaven was knocking on your door the moment he thrusted his his cock into your fluttering walls. “Three years… Ngh-three fucking years… ahn…” He was almost whimpering as he spoke. “I've waited and waited-Mmm…” His thrusts were getting rougher and the pressure on your hips had you biting the pillow. Mikey's breath catches in throat as he feels you clench around his length. No one could hold a candle to you, you were everything and Ran gave it all up. “Manjiro!” You yell and moan into the pillow as he keeps hitting your sweet spots over and over again. “Y-you… Oh fuck…fuck…” He tries but he can't even form a sentence without stuttering or even cursing. This was beyond desire, this was love and devotion. His right hand searched for yours, lacing his fingers with yours and resting his forehead against your shoulder. This intimate moment meant more to Mikey than anything else in the world. 
The bed continued to creek non stop with each thrust that Mikey gave you. Your left hand was gripping the headboard, trying to keep it from slamming too hard into the wall and also to help brace yourself. His hips stuttered and he slowed his pace when he felt infinity beginning to claw its way out. When he pulled out, you felt your body shudder - his warmth made you feel alive and now it’s gone. Whimpering, you turn back to look at him and he’s panting. His lips are parted and his silver tresses are a mess, that endless void in his eyes began to show a glimmer of light. Sitting up on his knees Mikey rolled you over onto your back, raised your hips and lifted your leg over his shoulder. He slid his length between your folds teasingly and his hand traced circles on your bundle of nerves. Your body trembled when he put more pressure on your clit, that same hand pushed his cock through your entrance and made you raise your hips even more. Manjiro didn’t even need to tell you what to do next, you moved your hips closer - letting him sink in and gain more friction against your clit. He smirked. “Good girl…you want to cum, yeah?” You nodded and whimpered a yes. He controlled your hip movement and leaned back a little, causing you to lose friction on the part you wanted it the most. 
“M-Mikey…” You mewled and tried to sit up but his hand pressed you down into the mattress. He chuckled when you pouted. The look on your face was desperate, he enjoyed it - you were desperate for him, no one else but him. He tortured you just a little more before rolling over and placing you on top of him. The angle was beautiful, seeing you on top of him had his heart feeling full. “Make me cum too, (Y/N)...” Ohh that tone, it made your pulse race and your walls fluttered. Placing your trembling hands against his chest you began to bounce up and down his length at a slow pace. You could feel your thighs shake as he suddenly thrust upward as you came down, making you moan loudly - he was blurring your vision. Quickening your pace, you threw your head back and dragged his length through your velvet walls. Sounds of slick, moans and skin slapping echoed in that room - if you could make an NSFW ASMR video, this would be it. It all sounded so lewd and perfect. Feeling every vein, every throb and every twitch of his cock dragging inside you, you repeated his name over and over again.
Just when you thought you were going to float off into the abyss, Mikey reached for you - his hand was placed behind your neck and he pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. You paused for just a few seconds to try and catch your breath. He snatched the air out of your lungs when he dug his fingers into your hips and warned you. “I didn’t say stop…” Cupping his face, you lean into him and arch your back, the curved angle had his cock hitting that spongy spot with ease. His stomach was flexing with each move, Mikey was getting close - his raspy grunts were a clear indicator. Breathing him in you felt a high like you’ve never felt before. All you could think about was him. He made your mind go blank and pushed every other thought out of your head. Who were you crying about earlier? Whose lavender orbs were lingering in your thoughts? You couldn’t remember anymore.
Mikey held your body close, your clit was receiving so much friction that your thighs were starting to shake, “F-fuck…oh fuck…” You moan and close your eyes, floating off into the clouds as your orgasm crashes into you. The sensation had you going faster, to the point where he had to hold your hip in place or his cum would drip out. “Ahn, (Y/N)...” He moans and braces for his second - yes…his second orgasm. You were so caught up in Mikey’s scent and voice that you didn’t hear him say he was cumming the first time. It was already too late, your sheets were a complete mess by the time you both stopped moving. A mix of your juices and his thick cum stained the sheets. You were both left breathless and in a daze, this moment felt the closest to heaven than anything in the world.
These feelings were finally set free, he was the person who you wanted to be with, he was the person that made everything right and kept your heart at ease. Resting your head on his shoulder, you feel his heartbeat against yours. It sounded like a lullaby - one that you wouldn’t mind listening to for the rest of your life. This blissful moment came to an end when the sound of Manjiro’s going off made you both flinch. When he tried to move, you pinned him down and tears were beginning to prick your eyes again. You wanted him to just let it ring so that you could savor this just a little longer. Panting and coming down from your high, you leaned in to crash your lips on his, kissing him and devouring him.  “...stay.” You cry between each kiss. “Don’t leave…” For three years you waited for him to walk through that door and now that he’s here, you don’t want him to leave. You had absurd hopes, you are asking the head of Bonten to drop everything for you. Rolling you over so that you both were on your sides, he wrapped his arms around you and exhaled. His gesture told you everything you needed to know, he was leaving the next day - he only came here to see you one last time. 
“I know I can’t ask you to come back to Tokyo and I can’t ask you to wait for me…” He spoke and nuzzled his face against yours. Closing your eyes, you braced yourself - what was he going to say next?
*2 years later*
The sensation of someone touching your face woke you up from your nap. Dazed and confused, you open your eyes and see the culprit. Blonde tresses and dark eyes, yet their smile felt like the sun. Chubby little fingers were now poking your face and their face was now in your face. “M-ma…” Your one year old son babbles and smiles at you. “Akio…shouldn’t you be napping?” You say to your child as if he could understand you. Sitting up, you check the time and smile when you open the message notification. Picking up your kiddo, you get ready with them - shower and change. Going about your day, you caught up with errands and came home. It was already late afternoon, possibly around 17:30. In the kitchen you prepare to eat and feed the baby, midway into feeding and you hear the front door open. The sound of someone dropping luggage and footsteps coming closer makes your heart skip a beat, and finally… “Angel…I’m home.” The sound of Mikey’s voice echoed, you were just about to respond but baby Akio decided to respond for you by babbling loudly. He recognized the sound of his father’s voice. 
When Mikey walks into the kitchen his eyes soften, seeing the beautiful sight in front of him makes his heart melt. You were sitting with the baby on your lap and when your eyes met his - he came closer to plant a kiss on your lips. You feel the baby being lifted from your lap, Manjiro picks him up and embraces his son - that child is all Manjiro, hardly even looks like you. His first born, his pride and joy that he only gets to visit once every two months. “You better not be keeping your mom up at night kiddo, I’ll kick your little ass if you are.” He whispers loud enough for you to hear him. “Manjiro!” You say and laugh. 
Manjiro’s proposal was to relocate to Okinawa as there were more available flights and you’d still be able to start a new life. That night he came to visit you in Wakkanai - he stayed only for a day but planned your futures together. No, he couldn’t leave Boten and is still head of the organization but gets about 2 weeks of leave every two months. He promised you the world and he gave it to you. Well, the baby was a surprise but still - they were your world. The others kept their same duties and their distance. There was only one other person who checked in with you and that was Sanzu - he couldn’t help but be elated that he was an uncle. Not to mention that it’s his King’s heir… 
The bitter feelings with Ran settled, you no longer held any resentment for him. If anything you felt sympathy, it turned out that his mistress’s child wasn’t his. He went through all that only to find out that it’s another man’s child. The truth came to light 8 months after the child was born. The underlings began to point out the difference in appearance when the baby got a little older. It looked nothing like Ran or even Rindou. Once the paternity test was done and the results confirmed their suspicion - you can say that he had lost his shit and threw them out, baby and all. He was trying his best to be a better person, to do right at least by you - he knew you’d never forgive him for forsaking his blood. Karma had other plans for him. Now he’s much more careful with who he sleeps with. When the rest of Bonten found out about your relationship with Mikey, it broke him. He couldn’t wrap his head around the thought of you being with someone else, even if that person was his boss. He begged to see you, but was only given a single phone call. He broke down and bursted into tears, apologizing to you and he let everything out. From the beginning of your relationship to the bitter end - it was a weight that was lifted off his shoulders. This call put out the fires in each other’s hearts. No, you didn’t forgive him but you both came to terms with everything that happened. Now you were just strangers to each other, nothing more and nothing less. 
Throughout the evening, Manjiro spent time with his son - allowing you to also catch a break from being a mom. Preparing your son for bedtime, Mikey takes him to his room and you can hear Akio coo at Mikey. “P-pa…papapa” Fifteen minutes roll by as you wait in the living room for Mikey to come back. Laying back, you see him tiptoe back, he looks a little worn out - putting a baby to sleep is hard. Collapsing into your chest, he groans and wraps himself around you. “You ok daddy?” You ask playfully and stroke his hair. Nodding and burying himself deeper into your chest, he hums and says yes. “Everyday Akio looks more and more like you. Are you sure he’s my baby? It’s like you gave birth to him or cloned yourself.” You chuckle and continue to stroke his hair. Mikey sits up quickly and stares into your eyes with a serious look. Perhaps this was not the right thing to say knowing what happened to Ran. He leans slowly, you were a little worried until he placed a tender kiss on your lips. “Yeah? Wanna try again?”  He says and wiggles his eyebrows up and down, the mischievous smirk on his face hints at making another baby. ❤️
END
TAGS: @rinrinfoxy @mor-pheus @no-signal  @namelessnikki2 @gabi-moureira @spookys-s @slvtmeow @jinii-desu @mmmaaannnsssiii @3xchooo @kokotakeomi @no-name-jack @barriesandcrem @reidsmexyconverse @waterfallsdown @1980losersliveinme @gabytodd @simp4ren @fffsksixj @whatsonthemirror @jcrml @reiners-milkbiddies @unr-u-1y @bakugosgf2005  @whoisneth  @bluephoenix908  @asmosslut @laurenzitaa @uniqueeggtoast @arlertsbaby @ilivefortheleague @mytaiyakeylover @niko-ash @anxious-chick
181 notes · View notes
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
2K notes · View notes
plesiosaurys · 8 months
Text
getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
3K notes · View notes
drawlody · 4 months
Text
"First date after 1000 years" part 2/8? (BETTY WISHMASTER AU)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The girls trynna help the oldies💗
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Cut to makeover montage aka next part which will be finished in a few days:DDD
Part 1
i do feel like this is a lot of dialouge but honestly i dont wanna draw another panel just to cut the thing in half:))
192 notes · View notes
vvitchering · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
This excerpt from the letter Elminster sends to God!Gale post game has had me in a sadness chokehold for DAYS. I knew Gale was young when he was scouted as a new potential Chosen but he was EIGHT??? Eight years old. A child. A baby. And he was accidentally destroying property with fireballs that young? That boy was a sorcerer. The way that one moment changed the trajectory of his entire life.
Elminster watched a little boy cry over ruined flowers and so many years later finally feels regret.
97 notes · View notes
worstloki · 1 year
Text
people just ignore Thor was a feral child, huh? like his life goal was probably to demolish another race at age 12 and he was probably begging to go to war and attempted to murder their father for not letting him via telepathy that he didn't have.
#people are like ''loki stabbed thor at age 8'' like im sorry but thor is older and im pretty sure he would've given loki the knife#Frigga was probably like ohhh you can wage war when your brother is old enough to go with you. can't let you two go alone!#and Thor naturally was like ''ok. i will Arm the Child''#like for SURE Thor was the kid eating dirt while Loki just sat next to him looking very confused about it#Thor: Father said we are Part of Asgard and need to Eat To Grow and then one day will be Big Enough to Fight !#he tries to feed Loki the dirt so he'll grow up quicker too but Loki starts crying and now Thor's forgotten about it and trying to calm him#Thor like no no don't cry i'll find us something else to get big with :(#carries him away and gets dirt all over them both because his hands were still dirty#fast forward the bros are sitting on the ground under a table monching on lemon cakes (or whatever) absolutely COVERED in dirt#they have left a dirt trail behind them so their hiding spot won't be effective for long#and also Thor doesn't think voices should get across what is clearly a sturdy table cloth so he's not sure how they were 'discovered'#Frigga: you cannot get dirty and go in the kitchens#Thor: LOKI WAS SAD. AND WE NEED SUSTAINENCE TO GROW MOTHER. WE MUST FEED.#Frigga: -_-''#(Loki is still munching on a lemon tart. the same one despite the room change because he's eating it slowly while Thor reasons with Frigga)#(half of the words anyone is saying go over his head but he is enjoying the expressions being made)
234 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Willex + Heartstopper title cards
885 notes · View notes
designernishiki · 7 months
Text
im realizing what’s really bothering me the most about the upcoming kiryu cancer arc (words i never expected to write in total seriousness) isn’t the cancer itself but how kiryu’s response to it (or lack thereof) is straight up suicidal in a way that’s impossible to ignore or deny. like there’s no way around that this time- he can explain in circles about “taking responsibility” and how “retirement’s just not in the cards for me” and whatever else but the fact is he was getting treatment and then he gave up and stopped, resigning to literally fighting til he’s killed or drops dead. because that’s all he thinks he’s useful for at this point and he’s got nothing else to live for. I really don’t wanna be a huge downer or whatever but like god it’s hard for me to enjoy all the fun silly stuff announced for this game when the whole time I know that oh, kiryu’s actively slowly and painfully killing himself and a good number of the people around him having fun doing whatever apparently Know About It and are just. not making a bigger deal of it. sorry kiryu I love you but karaoke isn’t very fun when everybody knows you should seriously be in chemo instead.
63 notes · View notes
sporesgalaxy · 11 months
Text
happy pride month! for the last 8 years I told myself that I didn't especially want to do much outward transing my gender despite feeling very sure that I'm nonbinary. This year, after being medicated for anxiety and continuing to work through a lot of my other stuff, I have realized that I was deeply ashamed and guilty over nearly every aspect of myself. The shame (you know, from Society) about my gender nonconformity and my guilt at repressing it just did not feel especially outstanding by comparison. But now that I am not being crushed by guilt and shame from all directions most of the time, repressing and dismissing and glossing over the gender stuff irl is actually starting to feel quite bad. I don't know what exactly I will do about this or what I even WANT to do about it. It feels bad to pretend I don't want to do anything about it, but the idea of actually doing something about it with no cushion of plausible deniability is still pretty scary. I just think it will be worth it to do it scared. probably. Don't worry about that. Still don't care much about how I'm referred to at the moment so don't fret about that either. It's nice to have processed this epiphany in time for pride month I guess, but I share this because reading something like it might have saved me some time. Okay bye lol
134 notes · View notes
stardestroyer81 · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Surprise!
Just in time for the holidays, I bring you something special today— the long-awaited ninth installment of my Lovers of Aether incorrect quote series! Seeing as I've started to dip my paws back into the Aether franchise, I thought that it would be a well enough time to concoct another set of ten incorrect quotes starring all your favorites.
And it doesn't stop there; this is the first installment to be fully equipped with image IDs! I'm hoping to go back and write IDs for the previous eight parts sometime soon, but for now, consider this a treat for anyone that uses a screen reader! 💙✨
As always, for the best experience, click on each quote to get a better look at each one; it will also help separate one quote from the next!
Previous Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
While I'm not entirely sure when the ceremonious tenth installment will arrive, I can say with full certainty that I'm going to go all out with that one, in that I'll more than likely include more than the usual ten quotes alongside brand new text boxes! For now, I hope that these were worth the near-two year wait! 💖✨
23 notes · View notes
wikagirl · 6 days
Text
I'll be honest the last time I saw buggy before the impel down arc was aaaaalllll the way back in 2009 after school during the first german airing of the first 300and something episodes which is also when I got introduced to one piece. (op didn't get a german dub til 2003 and also only very slowly until it picked up a following)
My school schedule changed then and I'd always come home way too late to catch any episodes of it until many years later when there was one day a week where I'd get home before 4pm and that happened to be just around the time when impel down was freshly done with german synchro and being broadcasted.
and uhhh it took me until today, my most recent rewatch of the show, to realize that buggy had indeed always had long hair and the blue tassles on his hat were just his friggin hair????
I'm not saying that my brain is kinda flat but it sure do be smooth like a vaseline dipped chicken breast considering how long it took me to get that.
7 notes · View notes
suffarustuffaru · 9 months
Note
I love your otto brainrot. He's favorite person to gush about in this series. I also love your analysis about one of the latest chapters and regarding Otto! ust, chef's kiss.
Anyhow, I would also like to add a crack theory about why otto never talked about his dp allowing him to talk to infants too. In this moment, it very much be because, as you said, he wants Spica to be eliminated. But! We're thinking small here. My question morphs into a more general perspective; why would Otto, and tappei to an extent, keep such information about his dp under wraps for this long, way before these Spica shenanigans? And I feel like the author may want to expand on that regard. Because as far as the rest of the crew knows (and as far as I remember), they know he can only talk to animals. But that chapter states he can talk to any living being (?), which I think may hint to it being a bigger fucking deal than we may realize. Like outside the Louis development, as well as Otto's frustration development, this power in of itself can cause a ripple of what Otto's capabilities are, and to not underestimate it.
So, now I wonder, would tappei utilize this tidbit for more development about Otto's power? What do you think?
aa thank you for liking my otto stuff!! i adore him a lot and arc 8 has me even more fixated on him bc his development is so Fascinating.... and also my fictional character type has always been the weird fucked up ones with terrible morals HAH.
OK ALSO LIKE i love your crack theory to bits. i think like the idea of his capabilities being A Little More Massive than they already are hasnt really occurred to me if only bc 1. i have like one braincell at a time and 2. ottos unhinged anger and various ugly habits (ie: doing things behind his friends backs HAH) were smth i was distracted by (positive) bc its so fascinating and now Finally everyone reading rezero knows hes crazy For Sure and 3. i think like. idk ive always kind of thought that his power is like super crazy like once you think about it. like iirc theres the canonical fact that other people in the fantasy world whove had ottos dp have gone like insane from it, so hes Basically the outlier here. and also hes insane anyway but his dp absolutely has partly to do with it. not only bc it like affects so much of his life with the constant overstimulation he experienced for a big chunk of his childhood along with the other effects it had with how he was behind his peers for a while and it made him socially awkward and anxious - but also like.
animals Are insane. a lot. genuinely. and then you have a power that allows you to understand them and hear their voices all the time. (more under read more bc its Long.)
theres so many fucked up animal facts out there HAH so i suppose that could just take like a couple google searches (god.... if oceans were in the fantasy world otto might go a little insane with all those sea creatures if he ever came close...) but i always feel like ottos learned at least a bit of his ruthlessness from that. and hes Definitely seen and heard shit (dont forget stuff like livestock ahah T^TT or bug infestations or something aljsdfls or the fact that otto would probably be seeing animal friends eat other animal friends or before he even knew he had his dp he could be eating some cattle he had a convo with like twenty minutes ago and ALSO garf and fred have their meat pie recipe that they adore and its like. that meat came from an animal and otto has most likely seen them make their meat pie before). but like nature is nature. its not always. Nice. survival of the fittest and things just die sometimes (ottos made various animal friends throughout his life and Many animals have smaller lifespans than him as well + some, such as bugs, are more fragile than him) and animals take actions according to their Nature (even if its. Bad, by human moral standards.) and all that - so i think the double whammy of ottos dp and him taking on merchant ideals is very much partly why hes so insane fr HAH.
I WENT A LITTLE OFF TOPIC BUT no yeah i agree. and i just think his dp has always been such a huge factor in what makes him so dangerous - its not only helped mold him into who he is as a person (especially when you remember that the rest of his family are Normal People and he Very Much Is Not Normal) but also like you said. his dp makes him extremely dangerous especially with the new information that he understands babies. iirc otto didnt Necessarily keep that bit of info under wraps - at least not before he met the emilia camp, bc the text said something about how hed take on side jobs where he babysat infants and hed be good at it bc he can understand the intent behind their wordless "words". and i definitely think otto - and tappei - havent really said anything on his ability to talk to infants before this bc it just hasnt come up in much relevant context until now. BUT I ALSO THINK YOU HAVE A POINT bc this does open like. a bit of a can of worms. theres these 2019 tappei qnas where he talks a bit about otto understanding "intent" -
Q: Is Otto's Blessing of the Spirit of Words limited to sounds that the speaker understands? Can he translate something Subaru wrote down in Japanese, or something that someone reads out loud phonetically without understanding it's meaning?
A: He can't. It's a blessing that conveys the intent of the other person's words, so if you said something like "Honbaradaratodetta", it wouldn't mean anything. It's just that, if Subaru had been saying "Honbaradaratodetta" for years to mean "What's for dinner?", it would convey that.
Q: About the "Blessing of the Spirit of Words" that Otto has, in cases where the same word can contain different meanings, can he discern the difference? (The English word 'servant' and a servant from Fate, etc.)
A: It's not the letters, but the speaker's intent that he picks up, so he could tell the difference.
--
but no yeah like........ ottos dp is specifically about Animals and well. humans and demihumans ARE animals. so it makes sense that it carries into humans and demihumans a bit so the whole catching someones intent thing is super fascinating and i feel like he could Definitely utilize it for more of his schemes?? esp when you combine that with the usual ways he uses his dp with animals - his power is Perfect for spying on others and gathering info in general. from my understanding of his power though, animals have to agree to help him, but given he can communicate with them and hes. well hes a good talker and also a bit of a manipulative bitch (affectionate) so like getting animals to help him doesnt seem like too much of an issue usually for him. so no but yeah his power is like. Off the Charts. and now we got big confirmation in the main story that he can UNDERSTAND PEOPLES INTENT BEHIND THEIR WORDS....? no yeah i think tappei will at least utilize it for the louis-spica plot things (ie otto wants her dead so hes just not gonna say anything about how he knows her true intent isnt to actually hurt anyone).
but i feel like otto could possibly use it for plans... or accidentally catch tidbits of info he shouldnt. im not entirely sure how, but. well. roswaal still hasnt delivered on his promise to kill everyone if even one person subaru cares about dies and Now roswaal knows that 1. otto plans to continue opposing subaru and emilia and keep pulling strings and 2. subaru wants louis to stay alive because he cares about her. it seems like massive emilia camp inner conflict is bound to happen at some point hah... the current situation is a ticking time bomb T^T and thats ON TOP of otto still working on restoring the book of wisdom... it all makes me wonder if otto will overhear a convo he shouldnt and catch the true underlying intent to otherwise innocent dialogue. or something like that.... or if louis's intent fluctuates in some way which otto will be Very aware of. if that happens. or if someone else somehow figures out ottos hiding the fact that he knows louis is innocent via his dp alsdjflsjdf. or maybe roswaal hints at his genocide plan and otto figures out the intent???? everyone is at a stalemate atm fr and im fascinated to see what comes next.
though. ok given otto went insane hearing the white whale..... well you could just fling mabeasts at him and maybe he'll shut up lajsdlfj bc using his dp (especially when overusing it gives him nosebleeds and headaches and pain and etc etc) against him is a Viable strategy to stop him among many others but like. the problem with otto is that hes persistent and Will hold a grudge against you if you wrong him. like i really do feel like he will hunt you down if you do which is the big Thing with otto. T^T hes unpredictable!!! especially now with arc 8 where hes been dragged through all these dangerous situations he did not sign up for and he just wants him and his friends to be safe but said friends want to save a whole country and NOW a sin archbishop alsdjflsjd.
like i really feel that hes so tired of things happening throughout his life out of control (remember his bad luck T^T and the way his dp used to fuck him over in his childhood? yeah T^T) that hes been trying to exert more and more control over his camp. bc like. vincent asking the emilia camp for help was nudged into that direction by otto. ottos also stepped a bit out of line by being hostile to julius and anastasia bc. otto that shit was unncessary aljsdlfjd theyre your camps allies!!!! and now ottos letting his camp be sus of louis by keeping quiet about her true intent. like otto is straight up like. hes kind of possessive of his camp isnt he? bc hes so fixated on making things go the way he wants (not that he wanted to help vollachia, but he wanted to help subaru and emilia which is why he pushed things in that direction, and now he wants to kill louis). it all makes me wonder if he'll ever have to use his dp against his camp given hes. kind of already doing that by lying to them - though itd probably be difficult to use his dp more actively against them if only bc they all already know what his dp is. theres no element of surprise there, but i think with the right circumstances he could possibly use it to figure out Something at least. bc like while he Does feel guilty, there is next to nothing stopping him from doing more shit on top of the shit hes been doing so far in arc 8 HAH. his moral compass is just literally broken and pointing straight down to hell. that mixed with his stubbornness and intellect and anger is like. well anyone going against otto is pretty fucked.
like. what is stopping him from sending a little bug to spy on subaru at all times. probably the fact that subaru and co. have a high chance of maybe noticing it and noticing that ottos keeping. too close of an eye on them. which would stop otto and his new declared "i walk in darkness" goal but all of this keeps making me wonder what lines otto WONT cross. and how far hes willing to go to do what he thinks is necessary to save his camp. and also what the consequences of his decisions will be.
but also like............................................... ok time for a crack theory of my own are you ready. anyway. can you imagine if ottos dp extended into fucking mind reading or something............ HAH.
25 notes · View notes
serasfanfiction · 29 days
Link
Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Hazbin Hotel (Web Series) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Alastor/Lucifer Magne | Morningstar Characters: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Lucifer Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty (Hazbin Hotel)
  Additional Tags: Background Charlie Morningstar/Vaggie, hints of Angel Dust/Husk, Blood Drinking, mentions of gore, Alastor is a serial killer, Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Touch-Averse Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Non Sex-Repulsed Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor has no clue he's ace, Inspired by Twitter, there's a tag I never thought I'd use, occasional appearance of deer!Lucifer, Alastor has a (literal) taste for Venison, Depressed Lucifer Magne | Morningstar
  Summary:
When Lucifer had moved into the Hazbin Hotel, he'd thought that would mean rebuilding his bond with his daughter while occasionally dealing with her girlfriend and the other residents of the hotel. He'd been fully prepared to be kept at arms length.
But then the deer ears happened.
Aka Lucifer and Alastor navigate living in the same building together, dancing around each other in ever growing smaller circles. Featuring the occasional appearance of deer!Lucifer via shapeshifting, Alastor's confusion over whether he wants to eat Lucifer or possess him, and a plot to shut the hotel down once and for all.
16 notes · View notes
girlbob-boypants · 6 months
Text
"I think ff14 and eso have better new player experiences than gw2"
Taking hallucinogens before playing gw2 doesn't give you an accurate experience of the game??
16 notes · View notes
red-hemlock · 2 months
Text
|| Theme Songs for Your Muse. ||
Tumblr media
Standard Theme: Psyche (Flash Treatment) - Massive Attack
Battle Theme: She Moves Like a Knife - Perturbator
Boss Battle Theme: Sleepless Fever - Sea Oleena
Emotion Theme: Torn in Two Directions - Waterstrider
Bonus Singing Voice: Dh’èirich mi moch madainn cheòthar (I arose early on a misty morning) - Julie Fowlis
Bonus Lyric Theme: Bleed for Me - Digital Daggers
You won't taste the poison Hidden in my kiss You won't face the darkness So I'll just walk right in You can't outrun the wicked I'll keep you standing still You refuse to be the hunted But I'm out for the kill So I creep To watch you bleed for me So I creep To watch you bleed for me Bleed for me Won't you bleed for me On your knees for me Won't you bleed for me Bleed for me Won't you bleed for me On your knees for me Won't you bleed for me
Tagged by: (I actually forgot who I stole this from whoops. Dx;;;;) Tagging: @corvidamned, @frostise, @cxpperhead, @bluefeathrs, @sanguine-salvation, @question-marked, @cxpedcrusxder, @ghosts-of-gotham (For Nora!), @mute-call, @the-rorschach-mask, @king-crane, @behindslaughter, @ofwealthandtaste, @twcfaces, @ofdeomnes
12 notes · View notes
r2y9s-notartblog · 5 days
Note
evening/night boop! (how are you doing?)
Tumblr media
morning boop! (i've lost track of the time whoops!)
I'm doing well! have a cat butt!
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes