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billetwoes · 4 months

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I've Got This!

How would the MK1 Earthrealmer Boys react when all of you go out for a friendly dinner at Madam Bo's and you, a lovely female team mate, pick up the bill happily before any argument and avoiding the bill banter ensues between the boys?

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Liu Kang

He accepts your gesture with gratitude. Why should a god have to pay? He shouldn't have to. He already does so much to protect Earthrealm.

"It's always an honour, Lord Liu Kang," you said, bowing with hands clasped in front of you.

He does not care that you are a woman, he only cares about your good qualities. If you want to be generous and kind to your friends, that is your right and choice.

Raiden

He's momentarily surprised that you got up and confidently took the bill and added a stack of cash on top before handing it back to Madam Bo with a wink, which was your way of communicating that you've tipped.

"Y/N, you didn't have to do that!" he said, that he feels bad is evident in his voice.

"Don't worry about it! You've treated us before, so it's my turn," you said smiling.

"Besides, I may not be a Lay Buddhist, but it is good karma," you gestured towards both him and Kung Lao, "And we're friends."

"Well, if you put it that way," Raiden began humbly, smiling, "we gratefully accept, even though we're not monks yet."

"Plus, I'm honored to be in the presence of the Shaolin's next master!"

Raiden blushed, "You're embarassing me!" He said modestly.

Kung Lao

Kung Lao belched appreciatively, patting his belly, praising the good hearty meal. Then the usual banter ensued between the boys on who's paying the bill when brought to your table. You, without hesitation, paid the bill confidently. Done.

He didn't spot your actions but the others did and the bantering immediately changed to protests and expressions of feeling bad that you got to it first. Kung Lao then realized what happened and joined in with the boys.

He's trying to save face but was internally happy and grateful that he didn't have to pay the hefty bill. He certainly had a big metabolism and he knew that he required more food. *burp* *pat, pat* :D

You waved a hand dismissively, "You guys treat me all the time, it's my turn. Besides, I may not be a Lay Buddhist, but it is good karma," you gestured towards both him and Raiden, "And we're friends."

"Well, then!" Exclaimed Kung Lao with a wide grin, hands held outwards, "I am glad to be the bestower of good karma! I'm more than happy to oblige you next time!" Raiden hit him on the chest playfully with the back of his hand, "I'm joking. But, thank you, Y/N! This next smiling Buddha's indeed happy!"

Johnny Cage

He's impressed with your boldness and is beaming from ear to ear.

"Whoa! I'm getting the royal treatment!" The actor complimented in his own joking way.

Since both of you are Westerners, it is not unheard of for women to take up the bill and treat others. In fact it is welcomed in many cases.

"Absolutely," you said brightly, "Anything for all of you...within reason!" You jokingly gave a motherly warning gaze, holding a finger up.

Johnny laughed, "Aww, I was gonna order champagne, a couple of lobsters and some caviar!"

"Next time, for sure," you said, smiling.

"Nah, I'll get it next time. My treat," Johnny replied happily opening his arms up to hug you, which you returned, "Thank you, Y/N."

"It's an honour to be in the presence of Ninja Mime!"

Kenshi

Kenshi was more reserved and not much of a talker. It was hard to read him at times, as he is expression was poker faced most of the time. But when he speaks, the words are sincere.

Once you paid the bill, there was a quiet reaction where he smiled and nodded in your direction. Unlike the rest of the boys, he was polite and formal.

"Thank you, Y/N."

Sub Zero (Bi Han)

He had his usual scowl on his face. As you all stood up to leave, he approached you.

"A woman never pays." He said as if he had the last word in a dignified way.

Hiding your confusion, you replied, "I wanted to."

His face subtly crinkles before walking away. Kuai Liang looked back at you apologetically.

You can make out parts of their conversation as they were leaving Madam Bo's.

"Women these days! It is a man's job to take care of women!" Bi Han grumbled.

"Times have changed, brother."

"And who does she think she is by saying, "I want to"? She means defiance!"

"You misunderstood her words, brother."

The grumbling faded away as the brother exited Madam Bo's.

At least you now know that the traditional Lin Kuei Grandmaster cares about women underneath that cold exterior.

Scorpion (Kuai Liang)

Unlike his brother, Kuai Liang was diplomatic. He was also like Kenshi, where words of gratitude are sincere behind a solemn tone.

Kuai Liang returned after the above conversation with his brother, who was now waiting outside of the restaurant.

"Y/N," he began, "I apologize for that."

You waved a hand, smiling, "Don't worry about that. I was happy to share."

"While some of us have accepted that times have changed, others have not," he explained, "My brother is grateful, but he often allows his ego to express this for him in...straightforward ways."

"You don't have to explain anything, I understand," you said, holding a hand up, "I know he is grateful."

"We appreciate the kind gesture," Kuai Liang said sincerely, "It was a wonderful meal."

"You're welcome," you responded, bowing your head respectfully.

Smoke (Tomas Vrbada)

He felt bad that you paid. Even though you were happy to.

Kind, empathetic and sensitive, he felt that he should have been the one to step up and paid the bill. He wanted to take care of his family and friends. When you beat him to the punch, he was internally kicking himself in the head.

"You look like I just did something hurtful to you," you said, looking concerned, "Are you ok?"

He sighed, "Yes, I am. I feel bad though. I should have been the one to pay."

"You're welcome," you joked, "Don't worry about it!"

"I know, I know," he began apologetically, "I really appreciate you doing that for us. I would have liked to take care of all of you."

"Oh, you're fine," you reassured, "You take care of all of us enough, and more. So typical of you and your star sign."

He paused, "Wait, what? How do you know what my star sign is?" He eyed you suspiciously.

You waved your hand in the air nonchalantly, "Oh, I might have overheard a person or two greet you happy birthday a month ago."

"But...I've never told anyone my birthday!"

"Someone found out," you said, "Happy belated birthday! I hope you enjoyed the dinner! Ha ha ha!!"

Before he could say anything, you left the restaurant cackling.

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sinimake · 4 months

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Some writing tips i use that makes writing less hard

Hope some people might find it helpful idk. Read below.

I always start with dialogues. Arguably, it is the easiest part that advances the plot the most. I write down dialogues with the barest of tags just to indicate who's saying what.

Now, add the tones, movement, and expression into the dialogues tags. Characters gotta deliver the lines somehow and you fill the space between the conversation.

When conversation is happening, internalization must occur. If you're writing from A's pov, and A and B are having a conversation, A gotta listen then reflect on B's words. You don't need to do this after every sentence but it is one of ways you set the pacing of the story. For example, B tells a shocking news to A, A take a moment to absorb the info and think. The internal thought can be from a line to paragraphs and the lenght of it sets the pacing.

Furthermore on the pacing, i personally like to equate the amount of time reader spends on reading to amount of how much they need to linger on the scene. Imagine in a fight scene, you keep the sentences short, to the point, and not complicated to deliver the fast speed of combat. When you lengthen the scene and sentences, you are putting them in a slow motion in midst. So control the pacing with your words.

Now, let's tackle settings and expositions. You can apply the tactics i use in my dialogues, but one golden rule i keep is that i write things readers can't experience first hand. If your characters are playing uno, you don't need to explain the rules in detail. What you need to do is be in the head of your primary character. Don't say winter was cold and snow was falling. You describe how character is feeling the cold on their back, snow is featherlight on their cheeks, etc.

Since we are talking about character pov, let me mention head hopping. Head hopping is where the general pov of chapter changes/hops characters in the midst of the writing. Example: we are reading from A's perspective, and then suddenly, we get a passage on B's inner thoughts, which A should not be aware of. Personally, i find head hopping distasteful. Some people can do it artfully and purposedly, like Stephen King. But if you don't have experience in that style, avoid head hopping like a plague. If the pov is in A, you only show outward emotions and actions of B.

Now you have general direction of the writing, let's add ✨️Character flare✨️. I like to think this is where you, as a writer, really shine and obtain your style. Your character is the essential core of the story, so when you write, the narrative must have their flavor. Percy Jackson series is widely liked because it is so fun to read from his perspective, his humor, and his outlook. If your character is a cop walking down a street, you show the world through their eyes. Are they double-checking dark corners? Or eyeing suspicious looking people? If your character has weird sense of humor, they will probably describe things in obscure details. Go wild with it. If your character is gen z, you can write in their cringy slangs (/j)

Now we have the skeletal of writing done. Till now, don't bother with editing. Only write even if the sentences sound shit. When you're done with base draft, you go back with a critical eye. If you're stuck on a scene, immediately skip. You can come back later with a fresh head space. Perfection is something you should worry about only in the final stage of editing.

Strange tip, but put your font to Comic Sans if you can, you will thank me later. I know it looks so jarring and ugly, but something about it makes the brain go lose on the creativity cork. I was skeptical first too, but it worked on me, and now i have 73k words in 3 months under my belt. *shrug*

And voilà, the very simplified breakdown of writing. Hope you found it somewhat helpful and happy writing everybody 😊 💪✍️

#writing tips #writer stuff #ao3 writer #creative writing #fanfic writing #writing

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jjtheresidentbaby · 2 months

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˚. ❝₊˚ 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 ❞ ˚₊·

» conrad hawkins & mina okafor || on my ao3

͟͟͞꒰➳ summary: set after s1e6, Mina finds Conrad regressed after he gets the hospital offer from his father and talks to Nic

» a/n: I just started this show if you couldn’t tell. and don’t ask how mina is getting off shift when it was her day off, she just is cause I wanted to write her

» warnings: little!conrad, caregiver!mina, mentions of past caregiver!nic, hurt/comfort, anxiety, crying, mentions of ptsd, talk of father issues & relationship issues

She hears the sound of shuffling before she realizes she’s not alone in the on call room, it makes Mina momentarily pause in suspicion of someone possibly dangerous being in her space but then she hears the familiar sound of shaky breathing. Not a threat.

Turning in place Mina surveys the room over, eyes finally landing on- Conrad. He’s sat hugging his knees to his chest between the wall and a chair, eyes fixated on the floor, not paying attention to Mina being in here at all. It takes her back, she’s never seen Conrad be anything but confident and stoic at all times, disregarding when he’s lost his temper on occasion, this is nothing like that. He looks small, scared even, curled in so much Mina wonders how a man like himself can get into a position like that without being in pain.

He must be in the midst of an anxiety attack, or panic attack. It could be ptsd from him time in Afghanistan.

Mina knows there’s no way she can leave Conrad on his own like this, they might not get coffee every Friday together or even get drinks after a long shift, but she still cares about him. And respects him as a doctor so if he needs help, she can be it. There’s been plenty of times she’s dealt with patients struggling to keep their anxiety under control before a surgery- though she does try to avoid emotional situations as she isn’t particularly in-tune with them- she should be able to manage.

“Conrad?” She crouches down in front of him, putting her bag down on the seat he’s leaned partially against. The only response she gets is a strained noise from the back of Conrad’s throat, which only furthers Mina’s worry. He’s never been one to struggle to talk, if anything he’s a little too outward with his opinions at times.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” Maybe a patient’s case trigged him, she knows he was having trouble with someone else taking over his patient but she isn’t sure what the specifics of the situation was.

“I-.” The words don’t come out and instead tears start to slip down Conrad’s cheeks, his face hiding in the tops of his knees to cover it.

Mina has always prided herself on acting fast in stressful times, in knowing what she’s doing, in jumping into action, but now- she feels completely lost. She sits down on the floor calmly and tries to think of what Conrad would do right now- if the roles were reversed- because who else would know how to comfort Conrad better than Conrad himself, right?

“Hey, look at me okay? Just look at me.” It takes a minute but Conrad does as he’s told, sniffling and looking up to Mina who gives a small smile of reassurance.

“Good. Can you take a deep breath with me?” Prompting whoever he’s trying to help is something she’s seen Conrad do, keeping them focused on him rather than what’s going on.

“You’re doing good. Do you think you can tell me what’s wrong?” One of Conrad’s hands reaches to rub clumsily at his eyes as he shakes his head.

“Do you… want me to page Nic?” They’re close and who Mina assumes Conrad would trust the most, but Conrad quickly shakes his head, almost frantic with the motion. Could the issue have to do with her? It’s possible but Mina never thought she’d see the day Conrad cried over a problem as trivial as his relationship with a girl.

“Okay, I won’t get her. But you need to talk to me, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.” It’s maybe a tad too firm, but it works so Mina takes the win.

“I- I don’t want Nic, I don’t wanna bother her.” His voice comes out quiet and trembling, a little more high pitched than it is usually. Somehow he sounds younger than ever, and Mina’s well aware that she’s the younger one in this dynamic.

“Okay. Did you argue with her?” Insisting that he wouldn’t be bothering Nic seems pointless, even if Mina knows how true it is. No matter how many times she’s seen those two argue and roll their eyes at each other, she knows both of them would drop everything if the other needed them.

“Kinda, I dunno. I just- my dad was here today and- and I snapped at Nic. And now I feel-.” His head turns away from Mina as he cuts himself off, tightening his hold around his knees as if he wants to hide away again but doesn’t want to break the order she gave him.

“Feel what?” More tears slide down his cheeks, ones he doesn’t bother to wipe away.

“Small.”

It takes Mina less than a minute to put together what Conrad means- he’s regressed- of course, she should’ve known. As much as Mina tries to stay out of other people’s business and especially Conrad’s as the last thing she wants is to step on his toes, she overheard a few months ago when Nic and Conrad were talking about age regression. It had sent Mina into a deep dive that night, reading everything she could about what the coping mechanism is, trying to piece together why Nic and Conrad were talking about it. In the end she deduced that one of them had to be the others caregiver, she could never figure out who was who as they’re both very natural caregivers, but apparently she has her answer now.

And Conrad doesn’t want to bother Nic. Shit. Did they have that bad of a fight? Is she no longer watching over him at all? Is that what they fought over?

“Okay, c’mon I’ll take you back to my place.” There’s no way she’s leaving him on his own in this state, he seems to be regressed to a younger age range but Mina can’t be sure, she wouldn’t want to risk it anyways.

“No- no, I’m too much- much work.” Conrad stutters over his words and sniffles back more tears, Mina feels her heart pull.

“Who said that?” A small spark of anger spikes in Mina’s chest, quickly becoming protective of the little in front of her.

“I’m better alone. I was too difficult for dad growing up, he wants to try and fix it now but- but I don’t him to.” The extremely limited knowledge Mina has of Conrad’s family has never left her with the impression that growing up was easy for him, this proves that, as much as she wishes she was wrong.

“You never have to do anything he says if you don’t want to, you’re your own person. And you are not too difficult to watch over, no matter what he says.” The thought alone makes Mina wish she could chew Conrad’s father out for a solid hour.

“Nic says I shut people out too much, she was upset, I don’t wanna make you upset too.” The only thing Mina can think to do is reach to take Conrad’s hands, forcing him to untangle himself and sit a bit more comfortably as she squeezes their hands together.

“You will not upset me, I do not get upset easily. Maybe you do shut people out but you’re being open with me right now, that’s something, so would you like to go back to my apartment and have some dinner?” They’ll probably have to order takeout as Mina doubts she has anything edible left in her fridge, it’s mostly leftovers turned into overnight science experiments.

“Y-yeah, thanks.” She smiles and stands, offering a hand to help Conrad with a laugh as he stumbles a bit and she has to help steady him.

“Thanks for takin’ care of me.” Conrad says as they walk out, Mina keeping a protective arm around his back both so hopefully nobody will stop them and so he doesn’t trip trying to get out to her car. Tonight should be interesting, she’s never cared for a little before and she doesn’t have much supplies when she thinks about it, but she’ll make do.

“Anytime.” And she’ll always be there for him, prepared or not.

#absolutely nobody asked for this #I just love conrad & mina sry #also devon. my baby devon.#jj writes #the resident agere #little!conrad #caregiver!mina #conrad & mina #conrad hawkins #mina okafor

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roetrolls · 1 year

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We Need to Talk

Veylin and her partners have become quite accustomed to the presence of their new hivemate over the past several weeks, and Mallum has likewise grown rather comfortable with them. With how easily she interacts with him, it’s almost hard to believe that he had wronged her so terribly when first they met. For her part, though, it was easy to forgive him. After all, she has been through far, far worse.

He moves through their home’s lower floor with the ease and confidence of someone who belongs there, but he has never breached into their territory upstairs. When he can’t locate someone he’s looking for, the seadweller typically opts to shout across the hive instead. Benjin seemed to see the action as entitled. Veylin thought it was his way of being respectful.

Now, though, it seems something else entirely.

“VEYLIN!”

There is an urgency in Mallum’s voice as he calls for her, and the empath need not use her powers to sense that something is amiss. She throws down her book and springs out of bed, padding to the edge of the stairs with slippers on her feet and a crease in her brow.

“Mallum?” He stands at the bottom of the stairwell, looking serious, and Veylin finds herself put off slightly by the severity of his expression. “What is it?”

“C’mere. We need to talk.” He sounds as stern as he looks, though she can sense worry pricking at the corners of his mind.

With a small nod, she tiptoes down the stairs and follows him to the living room, fiddling nervously with the front of her shirt. The hive is quiet, save for their footsteps, and she extends her powers outwards to search for her boys. They’re not here, which comes as a shock to the psychic. Not too long ago, both Zurven and Benjin would have adamantly refused to leave Mallum alone with her, even briefly. It seems they’re starting to trust him, however little they do.

“Sit down.” He orders her, arms crossed over his chest. To anyone else he might appear threatening, but where his actions spell anger, she can feel only concern.

When she does as instructed, he takes a seat on the coffee table, bracing his arms on his knees and staring into her eyes.

“Why aren’t you in therapy?”

Veylin’s breath catches in her throat, her eyes going wide as he asks so bluntly a question that everyone around her has been struggling to avoid. “I-I… I’m not… Ready to think about–”

“You’re lying to yourself.” He says, voice both delicate and sharp. “You don’t want to be ready. You want to bury it.”

She bites her trembling lip and swallows hard. “I… I just… Don’t want to think about it,” she squeaks guiltily.

“I know you don’t. I know, Veylin. That’s the fucking problem.” He pinches his nose and sighs, frustration swelling in his chest. “Someone needs to tell you to stop fucking running from this stuff, and apparently no one else here is enough of an asshole to do it.”

When he locks eyes with her again, she feels as though she’s on trial.

“Veylin,” he says her name again, softer this time, “you are not fucking well. Do you think people can’t see that? That we don’t hear you sobbing when you should be asleep, don’t jolt out of bed when you wake up screaming in the middle of the day?”

His tone, though harsh, is not unkind. Still, she shrinks under his scolding.

“You need help. Actual help. Not avoidance.”

In a move that borders on irony, she chooses that exact moment to avert her gaze, face awash with anxiety. “I just… Want to forget.”

“You can’t.”

Tears prick at her vision, and Veylin can feel her face grow flush. “I want to.”

Mallum takes her hand in his, flooding her senses with his own concern, yes, but also his certainty. He is more sure than she has ever felt in her life that she cannot go on like this. The psychic struggles not to cry, breath shallow and heavy.

“Veylin,” he says firmly. “You can’t.”

With that, what little strength she has crumbles away, and Veylin curls in on herself with a sob. She pulls her hand away from him to grip her head, shoulders wracking with each heaving cry that bubbles from her throat.

Mallum reacts quickly, moving to sit beside her on the couch and pull her into a strong embrace. He holds her quietly at first, letting her release the loudest of her buried feelings before he speaks again.

“You can’t undo it, Vey. You have to go through.”

#mallum ic #veylin ic #battleship #writing #hey guys who likes tough love #flashback + 1 #mallum writing #veylin writing

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grimoire-of-geekery · 10 months

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Ask Cerebro: an X-Men Cartomancy Spread!

LOL, it's been a while, hasn't it!

I feel like I should say "sorry for the recent lack of content" or something, but meh. There's plenty of content in the Grimoire, and if you don't see something you're looking for, I'm happy to chat with you via my inbox!

As a kid, I always loved the X-Men, and that hasn't changed, as any of y'all who follow this blog will note. I honestly wish I could use the X-Men canon and lore in my geekomancy practice more easily. I had all kinds of X-Men stuff when I was younger- everything from toys to collectible trading cards to poker decks! There was one poker deck in particular I loved so much, I tried to invent games to play with it. And, when I reacquired it a few years ago, I designed cartomancy spreads for it!

The thing is, I didn't post them (or at least I don't think I did) because I found out immediately afterwards that a cartomancer in the Bay Area named Storm Arcana was using the exact deck I used to design it, the one from my childhood, as a tarot deck, and I didn't want to jack his swagger. Since he's fuggin' awesome, y'all should go check out his website!

That being said! Last year I bought a deck of fan-made X-Men tarot cards! And therefore, the spread has come back to life, and I am sharing it!

(yay for shitty infographic!)

So, this method has three phases to it. Primarily, one would use it to consult on a subject of concern for the querent, something they would want to analyze.

To begin, we have a phase involving only the two cards in the center, which we call Mutatis Mutandis. This part is just used for analysis, it's not predictive yet. The first card read is beneath, and it represents the subject. The second card, laid on top to cross it, is that which alters the subject, the mutation to be experienced. This can be read on its own about literally any subject- a person, a situation, whatever you like.

If the result is something the querent is satisfied with, then the reading is over. If they wish further information though, we move into the next phase, called the X-Factors. This phase is for deeper analysis of the various factors associated with the change going on. Each is associated with two major influences in the X-Men continuity, based on which way the card is pointing.

On the top left, we have the Sinister, which is a warning. It lets one know what is most important to know in the situation. This card is associated with Emma Frost if it is looking out from the center, meaning that the subject may be able to benefit from interacting with what the card warns about, and if it points inward it's associated with (you guessed it) Mister Sinister, and it is something to be avoided entirely.

On the top right, we have the Inevitable, represented by Destiny and Apocalypse. This card represents that which cannot be changed, that which is going to happen. If it points outward, Destiny is helping you through this card. If it points inward, Apocalypse tests you and forces you to grow.

On the bottom right, we have the World, represented by Krakoa and Genosha. If it points outward, the world supports you as Krakoa supports all mutants. If it points inward, you are warned that the environmental factors are not in your favor, even if they look good from the outside (just like Genosha).

Finally, the bottom left card represents Homo Superior, represented by Professor X and Magneto. This card represents your own power and ability to influence the situation. If the card points outward, Magneto suggests that your actions are mighty, and you can shape things how you like. If it points inward, Charles Xavier suggests that you should keep your influence subtle and be cautious.

After these are read, you can draw cards from Cerebro, which is the arch of cards over the entire reading. However, you may only draw a number of cards equaling the numeric value of your significator. You will probably find it's best to read these cards in Mutatis Mutandis pairs, though any single card may be an answer. Aces equal 15 (or 14 if you're using a playing card deck). Unfortunately, the Magician as a significator only allows one card draw, and the Fool allows none, and them's the breaks. That in itself might be a message, though.

Once all cards are drawn, you should look for circuits, aka card combinations which have particularly significant meanings. Shared numeric values or suits, shared symbolism, and so on can suggest interesting strategies and may hint at hidden patterns to be used to the querent's benefit.

I hope you like the spread! Practicing geekomancers might be able to employ this for ritual magic as well as divination, of course. That's up to y'all though!

See y'all at the Green Lagoon, mutants!

#x-men geekomancy #krakoan sorcery

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somedarkhollow · 7 months

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In the midst of a tentative autumn within my first few months in this new city, I've found a truth I was not prepared for. This revelation reminds me of a quote that while seeming quite obvious always struck a deep chord within me: "wherever you go, there you are."

It's on nights like these where my dear one has fallen asleep far earlier than usual and my mind begins to pick up speed again that I find myself looking for answers and grasping at straws. See, the aforementioned truth is simply that I must not allow myself to continually retreat inward. While in the past that has been the answer to overstimulation and stressful social situations beyond my control it has come to my attention that in this present moment I must allow myself the particular privilege and grace to radiate outward.

While previously, when I sat in silence, alone in a New Jersey apartment with my windows flung open and my candles ablaze, disconnecting from the cultish social realities of my undergraduate education, clinging to what free time I could scrounge to be home by myself, I felt free. But now, when adult life has provided the seemingly luxe opportunity to work from home, this same practice has me singing the tune of captivity.

For the first few weeks of this working from home and newly living with my dear partner I found myself feeling what I thought were the negative effects of ingrained misogyny in my own world view. I had breakdowns where I lamented that I felt my years as an ambitious, working woman were dwindling as I began to think about the timeline for domesticity and producing children. I blamed myself, my partner, "society," etc. But, as time wore on, I felt the clutches of this fear loosen, although they did not fully release.

2 weeks ago, as I traipsed out of my neighborhood gym and began the short walk back to my apartment I was accosted by two men. What started as strained niceties on my part in reaction to their gregarious approach for 9:30am small talk turned into a degrading description of my body and the actions they felt entitled to in reaction to it. I looked around and saw nothing but empty sidewalks as I mustered a less than empowered "Good Lord!" before turning the music in my headphones off and making adjustments to my route home as not to potentially lead the men directly to my residence should they choose to continue this pursuit. I have not been back to the gym since. I stopped walking the few blocks to the coffee shop, I struggled to make trips to the post office down the street or even the two blocks to the parking lot to get my car. I was trapped again, this time with bars on the windows adding to the captivity I had felt before.

I only realized how captive I felt quite recently. My dear one was out of town and I awoke to find my day utterly without agenda. Although I awoke early that morning, I found myself stuck in bed as I argued with myself in my head about what to do with this time. I finally flung open the windows to the apartment to feel the morning chill on my skin, threw on a sweatshirt, pants, shoes, socks, and my favorite denim jacket before setting out on the 0.3 mile walk to the coffee shop. I had avoided this walk for over a month at this point and found that I had almost forgotten the way. The sun was so bright and the air so crisp, I watched the tourists and workers dart about in their sweaters and boots, dotting the streets as they paused to examine their maps or light a cigarette. I finally felt as if I was out of captivity, but still not quite home. I began to realize the root of the truth I mentioned earlier, when it comes to making somewhere feel like home and feel safe, you get out what you put into it. In isolating myself from this community, locked into my apartment by fear and the responsibility of my first adult job, I lost my connection to it which fed into the feelings of not belonging and insecurity. It's like losing your place in a novel with too many characters and little discernible plot, how will you ever know where and how to jump back in again?

For now I'm finding that jumping back in requires a bit more dedication than I'd like to admit. I'm learning how to let the sun hit my face and how to feel safe in my own skin, in my own neighborhood. Because as I truly begin to settle in to my new home, I must remember the aforementioned adage: Wherever you go, there you are.

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phlve · 1 year

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Subtype Trait Structures: sp3

To Be The Best and To Be Useful

A childhood environment between deception and seduction can be the origin of the base of mistrust and the feeling of being in danger of this subtype. The record of childhood would be a “they tell him: I’ll give you, but they don't give him anything”; a mere flattery with a promise was included, with which the child cannot trust who cares for him.

Hence the great capacity of the conservation E3 to: guess the “needs” of the other, to be at his service, to do what is thick for him.

Children who live in a dangerous environment try to protect themselves, and the conservation E3 usually does is avoid drawing attention to himself, remaining frozen and expressionless. As Herman notes, “avoiding any physical expression of his inner turmoil.” And sometimes, when all this fails, “children try to appease their abusers with displays of automatic obedience.” Similarly, the future conservation E3 kids redouble their efforts to control the situation in the only way they think possible: by trying to be good.

In the conservation E3, a history of implicit psychological abandonment by the parents is characteristic. As a child he learns to get by in life with different ingredients; do not disturb, do not cause problems, go unnoticed, take care of the parental figure, and solve problems of any kind. And so, over time, the attitude becomes more and more “tough,” and gives way throughout life to a constant putting oneself above others, to a lack of confidence in organismic self-regulation, and to ideas of: “I'm only worth it if I'm the best” and “I only exist if I'm useful.” His constant struggle to be the best or useful is born of a silent demand not to be abandoned.

Self-sufficiency

One of the central features in the conservation E3 is power alone. This power of action and resolution of situations with the use of their own resources reinforces their capacity and the image they have of themselves: that of a self-sufficient person, with great resolving and efficient capacity. A self-image that in turn compensates for the deep sense of awkwardness and shame that lies behind the mask of a conservation E3. Shame and awkwardness were early repressed feelings; on the other hand, the capacity and improvement were valued positively by the environment. They are usually precocious children in speech, walking, and the development of adult responsibilities.

Control

Control is the reverse of anguish, and anguish or fear is for an E3 an overwhelming and not allowed experience. The avoidance of internal anguish is controlled by turning outwards, without paying attention to the internal world. Hence, the conservation E3 is available for everything that comes from outside.

This feature assumes the crazy idea that life can and should be controlled. This means that the inner life is automatically under control and there are no internal movements, with a continuous self-cleaning based on not containing or resting anything internal, and resolving conflicts in such a way that the other stays well with one. That is why it does not support the anger of the other or the conflict in any way. Paradoxically, and due to his need for things to be done and to be as he believes, there is great difficulty in giving space and validity to the other, and to his way of being and proceeding.

One of the singularities of the chameleon is graphic, with each eye looking in a different direction. This is how the conservation E3 could be seen: with one eye controlling the one next to him and the other focused on what he is doing.

This movement of control, which responds to his need for security, leads him to control absolutely everything around him, from everyday life (order inside the house, in objects) to the family (giving advice, resolving issues), through the job. It is a control with which he manipulates the people he lives with so that they do what he needs for the sake of his safety: “if you do what I think is good, I will be calm.” He does not realize how he truly is to others, and there he also masks reality. Well, on the other hand, his great arrogance, putting himself on top of others with the attitude of: “I know and you have no idea how things are,” comes from a hidden fear of the other, of life, of movement and lack of control.

Hyperactivity

Another facet of conservation E3 is multitasking, feeling all the better the more you do. In this sense, action energizes this personality, which finds satisfaction in multifunction. Being busy is therefore a way of feeling safe, and moving quickly from one thing to another, a way of controlling.

Multitasking does double duty. On the one hand, it reinforces the idea of power and capacity. That idea of “how good and how smart I am” must continually strengthen it because that is how the internal clumsiness is hidden. On the other hand, it prevents him from contacting the inner world; that is, it makes it difficult for him to stop with himself.

Helpful Compulsion

Another inseparable feature of emptiness is an automatic tendency to take care of the need of the other, which dynamically depends on not being able to hold the emptiness of “not satisfying” since there is a deep fear of real contact. The conservation E3 does not know how to deal with reality and this clumsiness is not supported or shown, but translates into “not knowing how to say no”: he does not know how to defend himself, nor ask nor enter into conflict; making it easier for him, apparently, to be there for the other and thus avoid confrontation.

Covering the needs of others has a double function. On the one hand, conflict with the other is avoided, who does not get in touch with the dissatisfaction of his need and therefore not with frustration, so he does not direct his destructiveness towards the helper. On the other hand, the conservation E3 is so busy with others that they don’t take charge of themselves. The feeling of not needing induces an apparent strength and perfection, which gives him power over himself; a feeling that is reinforced by the fact of beginning to be a reference figure for the other and thus earn a place.

It is also true that the helping compulsion is sometimes a projection of one's need. In this sense, the conservation E3 must learn to ask, to allow himself to be nurtured by others, to abandon the role of strength, to show fragility, to ask for forgiveness, to say no, and to live and let live.

Be a Reference Person

As we have just seen, another trait to consider is that of the person of reference, which is dynamically dependent on the helping compulsion. It comes from the tendency to do what is expected of one, for not sustaining the conflict of being inadequate. This attitude becomes not knowing how to be silent or still, which leads to a tendency to be the leader of any meeting, although not in an “obvious” way, but rather by weaving a network to become essential. By always having something to say and something to offer, the conservation E3 creates dependencies.

Through his well-intentioned way of being, he can take the conversation where it is expected, always seeking recognition from others and adapting his feelings to what he believes is expected of him. It is characteristic that this conceited person drives his “wedges” constantly, without having finished listening many times to what the other person has to say, already having the speech prepared and, contrary to what he neurotically believes, saying almost the same thing that was just said, only with his finishing touch.

Confluence

If we consider the confluence of the conservation E3 as a form of survival, we can understand the demand to be for the other as a lifestyle. This aspect leads to the development of highly intuitive individuals, who in this facet resemble the E9, although with very different motivations.

The pain of individuation, the risk of being, and fear are hidden under doing what is expected of one, which is a way of not being aware of the automatism that covers the existential void of not knowing what to do for oneself, of having no idea where to direct their steps without someone else to mobilize them towards constant action.

It should be added that the fission or confluence with the other is a way of feeling power. By creating dependency from goodness, the idea that one is necessary is fed. However, this entails enormous difficulty in being alone, in recognizing one's own feelings, needs and limits. In addition, this confluence or being for the other makes it possible to blame them if something does not work, in an evasion of the responsibility of being, feeling, and needing.

This not knowing how to be oneself without the look and approval of another person is similar to the fusion that E9 experiences, but instead of being an automatic and indolent servility, in E3 it has a background of helping, advising and listening so as not to feel alone, and to be loved. It is a long-term investment, where the ingredients of patience, restraint, hindsight, and endurance are common.

The Banishment Of Error

Related to the image of goodness and efficiency is not allowing the error. A conservation E3 does not distinguish the thought from the action: it acts without digesting the thought. In this way, the first “mistake” for an E3 would be to stop with oneself, “be selfish,” focus on what he wants for himself.

The mistake that there is in not wanting to make mistakes comes from the fear of disqualification, of rejection. We are facing a vital need: rejection is like death for this subtype, who understands that if someone censors his way, he is censoring him. In short: if doing is censored, being is annulled.

Self-perfecting

Another characteristic feature of conservation E3 is to feel that overcoming is a lifestyle. It's not just about doing better, but about being a better person. Adapting to the values expected of him reinforces the idea of being someone adequate and perfect.

It is a way of keeping vanity at “the right level,” not lowering the bar and doing a little more each time to surpass the previous mark, in front of others and in front of oneself. The conservation E3 is a character that strives to do well and bears similarity to the E1, which is a perfecter from morality, while the E3 is a self-perfecter from doing. From this position, he teaches others how things have to be at peace so that they go well, without error and if possible the first time.

Something very typical of this subtype is the “don’t do what I already did,” because it underlies the belief that he does it better and in less time than the others. Buying time is important, so it turns quickly to have more time to do more things, thus gaining a greater sense of efficiency and capacity. Forgetting oneself with vanity here takes the form of fattening the ego through wear and tear.

Order

When he loses control and an overflowing emotionality appears, the conservation E3 usually gets angry with himself or with the person or situation involved. Because “what are emotions for?” He considers that feeling is a waste of time and that it does not solve anything. Emotions break the feeling of order and having everything under control.

Linked to perfectionism, order is a value that makes a lot of sense in the life of the conservation E3, who is ordered in the different aspects of his existence, from the material order in the house, to the family, or work.

Self-demand

Self-demand is like a runaway force that leads the conservation E3, by yet another way, to disconnect. It prevents you from accepting things as they are and containing what you don't like (such as anger with someone), demanding even more to be better.

Self-demanding has to do with not allowing mistakes and with things not going as planned, something that generates a lot of contained anger, since the great effort that he undertakes many times does not help him at all.

The persistent dynamic is not giving in to anything or anyone, controlling each step, reviewing each other's gesture, and blaming oneself when what was intended has not come out. That is why surrender means defeat, being characteristic of trying to solve or overcome a setback in “all” imaginable ways to reach the intended goal.

Knowing How To Sell

The image that an conservation E3 sells is that of a safe, reliable, kind, available, strong person, who does not need help, who does it alone, who is not going to bother, who knows how to have a good time, who does not get angry, who makes it easy, who is not going to create conflicts. But unlike the persuasiveness of E7, where being admirable is in the service of complacency, at E3 the ability to sell an image is in the service of being accepted. For this reason, it is easy to love but also not to be taken into account, because its availability and its good work ends up being boring.

Source: PDB Wiki

#personality theory #personality types #typology #enneagram #enneagram subtypes #instinctual variants #enneagram 3 #type 3 #3w2 #3w4 #sp3 #entj #estj

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inferno-principe · 1 year

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@mus-brunneis

Sidonai? A bad person? Ace couldn’t fathom it. If anything, she could understand his feelings. If her guardians suddenly replaced her with a ‘better’ child because she wasn’t good enough, and berated her for things out of her control, she’d be more than a little hurt and upset as well. She may just resent that child as well. But it’s what you do with that resentment that decides whether you are bad or not.

“I don’t think you’re a bad person…” she began.

“A bad person is someone who harms others or lets them be harmed to gain something from it, without caring. Or even enjoys seeing them get hurt. To me it doesn’t sound like you really resent Hamadai himself. You resent what our father is doing to you both, and how Hamadai benefits from that. If anything, he’s the bad person, for creating this whole situation. He’s hurting you both.

And I’m sure that, if you had a choice, you’d choose for neither of you to be in this situation. You don’t really want Hamadai to go through any of what you went through either. You can tell he’s a good and bright kid, that he doesn’t deserve your feelings towards him, and you seem to worry about him being too soft and getting beaten over it. You seem to feel bad about what’s happening to him, too. And you acknowledge you should be feeling appalled at Asmodeus’ treatment of him. You probably do, but it’s just… overshadowed by you feeling grateful it’s not you this time, who he’s directed his frustration to.

I think that’s… kinda normal. To want to look out for yourself and protect yourself, I mean. It’s normal to be relieved that it’s not you, and to want to avoid him targeting you instead. Everyone would probably feel that way.

And yeah you are his big brother, maybe you should do something, but will it help? This is Asmodeus we’re talking about. If you interfere, he’ll hit both of you, and you might make it worse for Hamadai as well if you piss him off. I’ve tried chewing him out for how he treated you a dozen times now, and look where it got us. I… don’t think there’s much you can do, and maybe not getting personally involved is honestly the better option.

Still, he’s just as much a victim of our father’s whims. Maybe go a bit easier on the outward resentment towards him..? He’s just trying his best, just like we are, right?

His brow furrowed, turning his head away from his sister. That...wasn’t exactly what he wanted to hear. He didn’t want to hear that he was a terrible person, obviously. But hearing that there wasn’t much he could do to help or stop their father certainly didn’t feel much better. He knew Hamadai had done nothing wrong to him and that he didn’t deserve the treatment he received.

“I don’t know if I can even face him, Ace. When i look at them...all of them...I just go back to that day.” The day he was ripped from his mother’s arms, the day Asmodeus announced Asulah’s conception, the day he took Sabahl as his mate. The day his life came crashing down. The day his one and only protector was taken, leaving him vulnerable to a monster...

Hamadai hadn’t even been alive to witness that day, and yet he still resented him so deeply.

“How am I supposed to separate their existence from father’s actions? How do I even begin to change?”

#tw: abuse #abuse tw

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watchwarden · 1 year

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@bulwarkbolvirk continued from here

Bolvirk, as usual, never had to look for trouble; it tended to find him on its own. He’d simply been enjoying a fairly decent mead to wash down his dinner, when some persistent and ale-breathed man decided to antagonize him for reasons Bolvirk still wasn’t entirely clear on. In general, it seemed his sense of dress from further north was enough, for this man at least, to be accused of all manner of odd and violent things. He’d stood cautiously when a sheathed knife had been revealed, both hands raised with outward-facing palms in a placating gesture, one that didn’t seem to be obeyed.

Risking a glance toward the rest of the tavern to see if anyone would intervene, with words or actions, Bolvirk caught a glimpse of an Elf who’d just entered, and his surprise was easily overshadowed by hope when their eyes met. Thus, he was better prepared when the Elf greeted him like a friend. Bolvirk’s answering grin was broad, amicable, and relieved, a tinge of gratitude seeping into his gaze as well. “Ah, then we missed each other. I came here a different way; business took me off the path I’d planned.” He gestured to the seat beside his. “Come, sit. Tell me how you’ve fared since we last met.” A pointed glance to the antagonizing stranger. “This man was just leaving.”

Arondir was relieved when the stranger chimed in to his performance, had he thought it would be all too obvious he was playing. He didn’t know the stranger’s name, and calling him ‘friend’ had been the only chance to speak to him directly without having to reveal they were strangers.

The Elf looked at the man who just put the knife back, it was quite a drunk fumble and Arondir wondered if that was a good or a bad thing, a drunk man trying to wield a knife. He could easily miss, but he could do some serious damage also.

“Thank you, thank you,” he sang in his best common tongue while pulling the chair back, but still he eyed the troublemaker. “Ecbert, if you excuse us, my friend and I have a lot to talk about. How about you go home to the wife and your wee twins?”

He knew better than to turn his gaze to the stranger now, and he waited until Ecbert hissed and then spat right on the table, where soon a pint of ale should sit for Arondir, but the Elf didn’t even flinch. It was wise to not stir the pot any more and finally, someone else found the courage to get up and pull the drunk brute away from Arondir and the stranger.

Of course Ecbert’s departure was accompanied with threats and insults, but escalation has been avoided, this was the most important thing for now.

“I apologize,” Arondir said with a polite bow, “these lands have seen hardship and poverty, the southlanders’ wounds are yet to heal.”

Now he sat down and the innkeeper came to clean the desk between the two men. ‘Will I ever know the stranger’s name or will I stay clueless for another while?’ he thought, because for now it seemed like they’d speak to another a strangers still, a situation Arondir would like to change.

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opalstream · 1 year

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Affirmation

I will try to perform only dutiful, noble actions to please God.

Don’t Think of Your Duties as Tedious Work, But as a Privilege to Serve

We should look upon all of our responsibilities as divine assignments. Our attitude should be, “The work I am doing is the work God has given me.” I am firmly convinced - I know it to be true - that nothing comes to us except from the hand of God. It may seem sometimes that someone has slipped something over on Him, but I don’t believe that. There is no doubt in my mind that God is directly involved in the life of everyone, even the least of His creatures. Nothing happens by chance. So we ought to relate more directly to God in whatever we are doing. That is what life is all about. Don’t think of your duties as tedious work, but as a blessed privilege to serve.

-Sri Daya Mata

SRF Magazine Fall, 1986 p 17

*Do you envy the work/dharma of others, feeling that your own is less interesting, prestigious, or rewarding? The spiritual seeker avoids this attitude even if it may seem that his life assignments are inferior to those of friends and associates. Each person has a unique purpose on the earth stage. The most humble tasks become profoundly meaningful when quietly offered back to God. Pause during free moments today to inwardly offer your thoughts and actions as oblations to Spirit. Notice how the consciousness immediately elevates each time this is done. Chronic mood disorders lighten. A mellow inner radiance gradually unfolds. If helpful, set a timer at self-determined intervals to remind you to break from outward work to connect with the Divine. The body, heart, brain cells, and nerves subtly enliven and are bathed in joyous communion. WorkPrayLove, Annie

*Learn to Meditate through Home Study - Share this with your friends who might like to learn:

https://yogananda.org/lessons

#yogananda #god #daya mata #offer action to god

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funkymbtifiction · 1 year

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Is it common to mistake So and type 3 for Fe and if so, how can I tell I'm doing it? I'm 3w4 sx/so and I'm sure of my typing, I got it from different sources like Riso- Hudson, Luckovich and the Enneagrammer. I've got into MBTI not that long ago and was typed by a friend who's been into it for years as ENTP, the profiles she sent me seemed to fit well, so I went with it. But later on as I got more interested in it and researched more I realized I was a sensor. Because I noticed unrealistic expectations and too much optimism irritate me a lot in other people, and I care about facts a lot. So I thought I must be ESTP. But a couple months ago as I went from just reading articles to watching real people from different types talk about what's like being it, I realized general online profiles are not the way to type anyone.

While there are several things in common between me and ESTPs, there seem to be some pretty core diferences. And many things I have in common are core traits of type 3 and the social instinct. I noticed it even with the fictional ones who share type 3, as I made an effort to watch movies with them it it. I identify with Ti's focus on logic, desire for coherence and consistency, clocking inaccuracies and contradictions and having a string cause-effect mentality. But when it comes to Fe the only things I identify with are being highly aware of socially appropriateness and atmosphere, and being good at reading people. So i started considering the possibility of being Te/Fu instead. I could see Te as I believe in reality>what should be logical in theory and results>perfect design. For Fi I have had very strong independent morals and values since as young as age 10, from memory that's when I started to notice how different from my family I saw things. I'm also private and protective of my feelings, talking about them with others is almost unthinkable. The natural conclusion would be I'm ESFP then but I have major doubts. The more I spend time with them in real life, hear them talk on Youtube or se them in fiction the more I'm amazed at how they have a very simple and direct thought process: I see it, I want it, I get it. I feel like doing x, so I do it. Little to no hesitation, or much consideration before acting. Like consequences don't exist or don't occur to them. I'm not like that at all, so I don't think I qualify. Maybe I don't understand what Fi is really about and I'm in fact a more independent Fe type.

If ESP seems wrong, why not ISTP?

You aren't giving me much to go on other than you seem to think ESPs are too unaware of the consequences of their actions. What doesn't fit about ESTP other than not relating to characters/a few people others assume are ESTPs?

How do you form your morals and values? Does logical thought and the desire for internal consistency go into it, or are they subjective and not consistent? (Ie, this thing bothers me but that almost identical thing does not.) Would you even notice an inconsistency in your moral belief system? Would you attempt to eradicate it? TPs tend to form consistent values based on logic / cause and effect (such as it's rational to be moral, because it helps me achieve this or it avoids that and here is moral's effect on society), whereas FP/TJ types can be inconsistent in their values because their values come from an emotional place of "do I care about this? Yeah/nah."

Instead of relating outward, read more about the internal structure of the types and start looking inward for answers.

#question #istp #estp #mbti

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change-of-vision · 2 years

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Next Time

“Do the thing we fear and the death of fear is certain”Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is different now for most of us as we navigate the online world full of news, opinions, and the trends we feel pressured to adopt. There are normally at least a few different news stories regarding a particular event, or series of events, from certain ideological viewpoints. Social media appears riddled with assigning blame for whatever ill that falls upon individuals or groups. There is this sense of outrage focused outward with fault-finding as its only objective. With the stage being set through the news and social media how can we avoid a similar fate in our personal lives? Is there a way out of all the arguing and strife we currently find ourselves in? I hope so. I believe that our focus may, at least to a larger degree, need to be directed more inward than outward.

I feel that a task awaits us and it isn’t one that can be taken lightly: self-reflection which is often painful; but I believe it is a necessary step towards experiencing any kind of relief. I’ve had quite a bit of help along the way that I want to acknowledge, and relatively speaking I haven’t been on this journey that long. A willingness to look at myself in a more honest fashion has done more for me than anything anyone could tell me. This isn’t to say that I haven’t found inspiration in books or that my direction hasn’t been pointed to by others; it definitely has. At the risk of sounding trite, nothing can replace looking within, and blame only leaves us feeling powerless. If the problems in our lives are solely the fault of other people or circumstances, then we are saying that we ultimately have no power to change it. Of course, it can be quite uncomfortable to look within: a fact that I’m definitely not going to deny. Although being unwilling to look inward may alleviate initial discomfort; it does so at the peril of continuing the misery.

It’s frightening to look in the proverbial mirror and to take stock of what you see. Very often, the fault that I find with others and the world as a whole is looking back at me. Most of the problems in my own life have come from my own doing, or lack thereof. What I mean is, it doesn’t come necessarily from explicitly doing something that causes a particular problem, but more from failing to take action when I should have acted. Remaining idle due to fear inevitably results in more fear. It makes it much more likely to remain idle next time and even more likely that you will remain idle the time after that. Each cycle strengthens this outcome. This evokes a sense of victimhood throughout life. I tell myself that I’ve dodged a bullet by remaining idle and maybe even convince myself that I had made a wise decision. This “wisdom” would often disguise itself as an extremely critical persona which had very deep worldly insight and who couldn’t be bothered by such trivial pursuits. I didn’t fail; I quit. Honestly, I quit before I even started. Maybe a fear of failure caused me to quit. I’ll never know if I would have or not. If I would have failed, maybe the failure would have taught me a lesson that I needed to learn to bring me to success the next time. I never would know. Maybe next time I need to look at my fear uncompromisingly and directly in the eye. Maybe there doesn’t need to be a next time.

#motivation #self improvement #forgiveness #empowerment #acceptance #stoic wisdom #my writing

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wolint · 3 months

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FORM OF GODLINESS

2 Timothy 3:1-6

Religion is a form of godliness. It has no power!

True Godliness is powerful!

Godlessness demonstrates lack of power.

"The form"! Appearance! Everything looks like godliness. Talk the talk, walk the walk, look the part, keep the appearance but without the power, anointing and presence of God.

Mere religion and godlessness.

This has become a norm in “Christendom” today.

From these godless people, our text says “RUN”!

Avoid such people. Do not allow them to be part of the church or support their ministries. These people inflict pain on the vulnerable and weak within the body because their outward semblance of piety mask a wicked, evil, and destructive heart.

Form of Godliness doesn't have any spiritual value and nutrients, it’s looks like the divine but without spiritual substance.

We see a lot of that in the body of Christ today. People professing to be Christians, ministers of God doing, saying, and living outside the guidelines of the scriptures.

Godliness is the assignment of the pastors and the church, to create a godly environment, yet that is far from what so many are doing. Are you denying the faith? Are you operating in a “form of godliness”?

Those people who have a form of godliness are those who make an outward display of religion. They present themselves as godly, but it is all for show. There is no power behind their religion, as evidenced in the fact that their lives are unchanged. They speak of God and live in sin. They twist the scriptures for their gain and some of them have become hirelings. If your Pastor, church, or ministry leader is not operating according to 2 Timothy 4:2 and Jeremiah 3:15, “RUN”.

Godliness is the lifestyle that reflects the character of God. Every Christian should, therefore, reflect the character of God through Peter’s teaching in 2 Peter 1:3, the divine power is what helps us walk in the path of righteousness which is absent in the “form of godliness”.

False Christianity, form of godliness and false teachers are destructive! They stem from a place of selfishness, pride and arrogance while claiming the title of Christians, wearing before men the uniform of Christ, but by their lives dishonouring His name, and denying the truth of the scriptures and the power of the word.

Godliness is how we live, speaks and act, following God's standard and principles.

We now have Christian who don’t approve of some scriptures and twists God's word to suit their narratives.

God's word is not up for debate and compromise. Let God be true and everyone a liar says Romans 3:4. So, all those saying and doing things contrary to the scriptures are liars.

The Holy Spirit is our teacher but so many Christians have made the devil their teacher by not only listening to him but questions the authority, authenticity and power of God and His word.

2 Timothy 2:16 declares that worldliness is the enemy of Godliness. The power of God should accompany the form of godliness, as shown through the Holy Spirit and results in the transformation of lives. The Holy Spirit indwells us according to 1 Corinthians 6:19.

But today, Christians, Pastors ministers and leaders are now using everything except the scriptures to do God’s work. How?

They have not been transformed or renewed by the word of God as seen in Romans 12:1-4, instead they keep denying the faith verbally or by their actions.

We cannot deny the faith and express a form of godliness but expects God to empower them for whatever it is they do.

Run from every form of godliness but denies the faith without any power of God.

PRAYER: Dear Lord, help me to wisely follow the truth and to discern every form of godliness and false teachings in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Shalom

WOMEN OF LIGHT INT. PRAYER MIN.

#spotify #devotional #christianpost #women's ministry #biblestudy #biblestudy christianpost women's ministry #biblestudy christianpost 'women's ministry #conference #family #prayer meeting

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questionsonislam · 4 months

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What exactly is ikhlas (sincerity)? How can one get ikhlas?

Ikhlas lexically means refining, purifying, separating and removing impurities.

Ikhlas means, for an individual, to be closed to anything except Allah Almighty’s orders, requests and grants in worshipping. It means to keep secrets in the relationship between the slave and the Creator, in other words, to fulfill his duties and responsibilities because He wants them, to aim His consent while fulfilling them and to turn toward His otherworldly courtesy. It is regarded as one of the most important qualities of the purest, loyal people.

Ikhlas is a deed of the heart and Allah values man based of the tendencies of his heart:

"He does not look at your shapes and outward appearance; He looks at your hearts and the tendencies of your heart." (Muslim, Birr, 33)

Ikhlas is a magical credit that Allah granted to clean hearts, that makes little things big and shallow things deep and that makes limited worshipping unlimited so much so that man can demand the most expensive things in the markets of the world and the hereafter with it and is valued in the places where people crawl thanks to it. The Messenger of Allah states the following due to this mysterious power of ikhlas:

"Be sincere in your religious life; few deeds will suffice." (Munawi, Faydul-Qadir, I, 216)

"Always try to do your deeds with ikhlas because Allah accepts only sincere deeds." (Munawi, Faydul-Qadir, I, 217)

Thus, the Prophet warns us to base our deeds on ikhlas. Ikhlas is a secret between the slave and the Creator; Allah has placed this secret in the hearts of His beloved slaves.

It is necessary for man to realize why ikhlas is so important and to demand sincerely to be able to attain that level of belief in order to practice ikhlas with its real meaning. For, the people who have not realized the importance of ikhlas may seek power in the worldly values and pursue them in order to have a position in the community. Fame, glory, wealth, beauty, academic career or prestige are the things that those people seek. However, none of them can make man gain a permanent power or prestige in the hereafter in its real sense.

Badiuzzaman Said Nursi states the following:

"You should know that all your strength lies in sincerity and truth. Yes, strength lies in truth and sincerity.”

Thus, he reminds us that a believer can gain power both in the world and the hereafter only through ikhlas.

What is necessary in order to gain ikhlas and to preserve it:

1. Fear of Allah is the most important means that enables man to increase his ikhlas. A person who realizes the greatness of Allah, that there is no power except Him and that the one that created the universe out of nothing, that takes care of all living beings and shows mercy to them is Allah is affiliated to Allah with a deep love. He understands that his real friend in the world and the hereafter is only Allah and hence the one whose consent is necessary to seek is only Him. Along with this strong love, he fears Allah.

"... Then fear Allah, and know that ye will surely be gathered unto Him." (al-Baqara, 2/203)

Allah tells people that they need to fear Him in the verse above.

Fearing takes place when a person avoids the attitudes that Allah rendered haram and is not pleased with and when he fulfills His orders without any laziness. A sincere person who fears Allah knows what attitudes He will not be pleased with and steps into action to correct them. For instance, if his soul has a tendency and weakness toward worldly possessions, he notices it. In that case, he uses his wealth in the way of Allah in order to overcome that weakness.

2. One of the responsibilities of a believer is to attain a level of belief that can appreciate Allah as it is necessary by being aware of the fact reminded in the verse below:

"No just estimate have they made of Allah, such as is due to Him: On the Day of Judgment the whole of the earth will be but His handful, and the heavens will be rolled up in His right hand: Glory to Him! High is He above the Partners they attribute to Him." (az-Zumar, 39/67)

To be able to appreciate Allah can be attained by knowing Him with all of His names and to see and realize the manifestations of those names in his life all the time. For, man can fear Allah and attain a sincere belief only if he can realize Allah’s greatness.

A person who can appreciate Allah as it is necessary knows that there cannot be any power except Allah and does not fear anyone except Him. He knows that nothing will happen unless Allah wishes, which enables him to worship by turning to Allah only. When he wants to do a good deed, he does it not because of fearing the reactions of people but because he does not want to act contrarily to Allah's order. Similarly, when he decides to give up doing something, he does not give it up thinking that people will get angry with him but in order to attain Allah’s mercy and avoid His wrath.

3. A person who wants to show the most sincere attitude in everything he faces needs to seek "Allah's consent as much as possible". This order of Allah is reminded through the following verse with the phrase "strive as in a race in all virtues":

"… so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah..." (al-Maida, 5/48)

The following is stated in another verse:

"Then We have given the Book for inheritance to such of Our Servants as We have chosen: but there are among them some who wrong their own souls; some who follow a middle course; and some who are, by Allah´s leave, foremost in good deeds; that is the highest Grace." (Fatir, 35/32)

As it is stated in the verse above, there are some people who ‘follow a middle course’ among believers and who are ‘foremost in good deeds’. A sincere Muslim is foremost in good deeds. He works very hard in order to display the attitudes with which Allah will be pleased and tries to be a righteous slave by using everything he has.

4. A person who wants to gain ikhlas needs to be aware of this fact: man should expect the rewards for what he does in the world only from Allah. If a person does something for anything except Allah's consent, mercy and Paradise, his ikhlas is broken and he is led to insincerity. If a person serves in the way of Allah for years with this thought, he will not have gained ikhlas in its real sense unless he does them for Allah’s sake only. Only the deeds of worship that he does without adding anything except Allah's consent can gain him great rewards and thawabs.

Allah states in the following verse that deeds of righteousness will be given ‘a magnificent reward’:

"Verily this Qur´an doth guide to that which is most right (or stable), and giveth the Glad Tidings to the Believers who work deeds of righteousness, that they shall have a magnificent reward." (al-Isra, 17/9)

Badiuzzaman Said Nursi attracts attention to the fact that ikhlas can be obtained when man becomes happy with what Allah gives him and shows contentedness:

"… One should also take as one’s guide the quality of preferring others to oneself, the same quality of the Companions that is praised in the Quran. For example, when giving a present or performing an act of charity, one should always prefer the recipient to oneself, and without demanding or inwardly desiring any material reward for religious service, know one’s act to be purely Allah’s grace and not impose a sense of obligation on men..."

"This world is a place of service; it is not a place of rewards. The rewards, fruits and lights of righteous deeds are in the hereafter. To want those eternal fruits in this world means to make the hereafter subject to this world. The sincerity of that righteous deed is broken and its light disappears. Those fruits are not demanded and intended. If they are given, man thinks that they have been given for encouragement and thanks Allah."

5. It is necessary to base everything directly on Allah’s consent. Even if everybody is against a person and nobody is pleased with him, it is of no significance if Allah is pleased with him. For, the hearts of all of those people are under the control of Allah. If Allah wishes, He will make them pleased with that person.

On the other hand, if Allah is not pleased with a person due to an attitude of his, it is of no significance if everybody is pleased with him and is grateful to him. A believer knows that it is of no significance in the eye of Allah and that people’s being pleased with him will gain him nothing in the hereafter unless Allah is pleased with him. The group that will be pleased with him may consist of financially or politically powerful people. However, they are all weak beings that were created by Allah and that will decay in the grave one day, losing all of their power. Therefore, their number, support and appreciation will be of no use in the hereafter. The one who is eternal and whose consent needs to be attained is only Allah. What will make man gain a permanent understanding of ikhlas is ‘to ignore the consent of people and to aim to attain Allah’s consent’ by realizing this fact.

6. Conscience is a power that Allah has created so that it will show man the true path. It warns man against the evil of the soul, provocation of Satan and all attitudes contrary to the Quran throughout man’s life. It inspires man the attitude that Allah will be pleased with and the deeds that are in compliance with the Quran. A person who obeys the voice of his conscience unconditionally in all incidents obtains ikhlas. For, ikhlas means being able to make use of one’s conscience ultimately and not making concessions related to acting in compliance with one’s conscience even if he conflicts with his soul or encounters difficulties.

Therefore, a person who wants to obtain ikhlas should check whether he uses his conscience as it is necessary first. If he sometimes stops his conscience, does not heed its voice and acts in accordance with his soul deliberately, it means he does not use his conscience in compliance with the Quran.

"Nay, man will be evidence against himself, Even though he were to put up his excuses." (al-Qiyamah, 75/14-15)

What is more, as it is stated in the verses above, everybody knows that the voice that whispers to him is conscience and knows with what excuses he suppresses it.

7. Thinking about death is one of the most important means of obtaining ikhlas. Everybody in the world, without an exception, mentions or at least thinks about something: to live long and if possible not to die. Scientists have been researching seriously and trying to find a way of making man live longer. However, no improvement haven been made in those researches up to now.

Many people view death through a wrong perspective; they regard it as an end where all of the beauties of the worldly live finish, man bids farewell to life permanently and goes under the ground to decay. However, this belief originates from the fact that they have not been able to understand Allah's existence and the purpose of their creation. Those people are not aware that the worldly life is only a testing that will determine their real life after death. They regard this world as real life and the hereafter as a deception. Therefore, they regard death, which ends worldly life and starts life in the hereafter, as an end.

Thus, 'death' is very scary for them and 'thinking about death' is very disturbing for them. They believe that they will not take pleasure from the world as necessary if they think about death and that this thought will make all pleasures bland and meaningless. They think they will be affiliated with the worldly life more and benefit from its pleasures more if they do not think about death or if they try to forget it.

However, the result will not change whether man thinks about death or not whether he remembers or forgets it:

"Say: ‘The Death from which ye flee will truly overtake you: then will ye be sent back to the Knower of things secret and open: and He will tell you (the truth of) the things that ye did.’" (al-Jumua, 62/8)

As the verse above reminds us, man will definitely face death. Then, what is reasonable is not to try to forget and ignore a fact that will definitely happen but to make preparations to face this fact.

If man leads a life that Allah will be pleased with, death will not harm that person. On the contrary, it will be a means of starting his endless and perfect life. If he has turned toward Allah with a sincere heart, death will not give him any pain no matter under which circumstances it takes place. Allah states in the Quran that the angels of death will remove the spirits of the believers softly without giving pain. It is also stated in the verses of the Quran that death is a painful incident only for deniers. (an-Naziat, 79/1-2) Therefore, if a person is a believer and has ikhlas, death will not be a painful end for him.

On the other hand, to think about death is not something that pulls man away from the world as those people think; on the contrary, it is something that makes man take maximum pleasure from the boons of the world. For, man takes more pleasure when he understands that boons are ephemeral and temporary not when he is attached to them fully and regards them as lust. The Prophet expresses the importance of thinking about death as follows in a hadith:

"Mention death a lot because this pulls man from the world and sins." (Tirmidhi, Zuhd 4, Qiyamah 26; Nasai, Janaiz 3)

Besides, death is not the end of life, boons or beauties as those people think. On the contrary, it is the beginning of real life; it is man’s transition to his real world where he will lead his endless life based on the preference he made in his worldly life. If he has understood Allah's greatness and led his life in His way, he will spend his endless life in beautiful gardens. However, if he has been deceived by worldly life and forgotten the day when he will be reckoned in the presence of Allah and the hereafter, his eternal place will be Hell. Trying not to think about death in his worldly life will not save him from encountering this fact.

A person who can think about death with all these aspects knows that he can face death anywhere and that his life can end any time. This makes him act sincerely and to use his mind, conscience and means in every moment of his life. He acts based on the clear consciousness that he can be reckoned in the presence of his Lord soon and that he can be sent to Paradise and Hell any time. He spends his worldly life as if he has been to the hereafter and returned after seeing Paradise and Hell, with a belief and ikhlas that makes him sure that they are true and close. He spends every moment with a deep fear of Allah as if he is experiencing the moment when he will meet the angel of death who comes to take his soul, when his book of deeds is shown and when he waits for the decision of being sent to Paradise or Hell. He keeps in mind the closeness and horror of hellfire and acts by feeling the fear of being punished with hellfire eternally. He is also full of the enthusiasm of being saved from Hell and living in Paradise as a slave that is Allah’s friend eternally. He acts with the consciousness that expressing excuses like the following ones will be of no use when he is taken to the presence of Allah on the Day of Reckoning: "I did not know; I did not understand, I did not notice; I was heedless with other heedless people; I acted lazily; I was deceived by Satan; I though Allah would forgive me anyway; I worshipped and thought my worshipping would be enough..."

This consciousness becomes apparent with a strong conscience, a sharp power of understanding, a superior mind and an uninterrupted understanding of sincerity. A person who has this consciousness knows that he can die any moment; therefore, he does not postpone any charitable deeds; he does not act slackly and lazily regarding any issue. He thinks that his life may not be enough "to do something that he thinks he will do an hour later or tomorrow". He knows that he will regret in the hereafter for the deeds that he postponed or did not complete.

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