#how enjoyable is was to write for carry on fandom.
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one of my favorite things about carry on fandom (at least as it has existed since i joined in 2021) is that no one gets hung up on like... writing expertise or fics being "out of character." this is especially impressive because there is SO MUCH character analysis that goes on in this fandom, and yet it never translates to dunking on interpretations of characters that ppl disagree with. there's just genuine joy over the face that people are out here writing and sharing and putting their own twists on stories.
in general, everyone is just so encouraging abt art, and that's such a wonderful environment for people who are new to writing/sharing their writing. and for people who are not new but still feel nervous about putting themselves out there. it's really special! i think it's similar for visual art too
#i know i dont write much snowbaz anymore but i genuinely think that#fanfic (and fiction writing in general) probably wouldnt be such a big part of my life if not for#how enjoyable is was to write for carry on fandom.#i learned so fucking much about writing and about why *i* enjoyed writing#because i just felt so safe putting stuff out there and doing the ugly parts of learning#without fear that i was gonna piss someone off or get dragged or criticized or something LOL#idk man im just in my feelings abt this rn#quiet lil shoutout to kris and pal and aralias and all the other people who go the extra mile to rly influence this into the#comfortable space it is. like these vibes are not accidental
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Simon Aumar Courting Headcanons
Fandom: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
He's just a pathetic little guy, and you like that in a man.
Truly, he tried to "impress you with some magic" the first time you met and he was such a spectacular failure, it was almost charming.
Cute as he accidentally sent himself flying upward in a panic, hitting a tree limb and knocking himself unconscious.
He was not awake to witness your laughing as Holga carried his limp, dirt covered body back to the horses.
Also very charming that he outright asked your permission to court you, with a bundle of wildflowers her spent an hour rooting through for the nicest ones.
He always makes sure to ride or walk beside you so you can talk while journeying.
Is the one to ask you to "officially" join their adventuring party because of your "indispensable skillset we have been utterly lacking"
Not to say this all went smoothly, "cute klutz" can go so far but his pessimism towards everything can grate on your nerves horribly at times. Especially when you try to talk him up and tell him otherwise and he shoots you down on everything.
He is also a pushover and despite complaining about the group making him pay for a round of drinks or dinner, he doesn't actually try to stop it.
Sometimes you'll lightly wack him upside the head for that, and then he wont stop quietly complaining how you wounded him
He is ecstatic and flabbergasted when you actually agree to him courting you, he's not sure what to do. Never thought he'd get this far.
He asks Doric what to do, or more, what he did wrong when attempting to court her.
Edgin unhelpfully praises him during that, telling him to "Learn from you failures, or you'll never stop failing.
"It'll never work out, they're too cool for you." - Holga
"Thank you all for your utter confidence in me, good pep talk from my closest friends."
"We're your only friends."
Simon definitely grows on you though, he's enjoyable to be around for the most part, rather sensible, and rather cute when he smiles as something actually goes right for once.
He truly tries his best while courting you, attempting (failing) to be romantic, showing you he would be a good partner, absolutely floored when you return some of those actions with your own.
He is your personal hype man. Talks you up to anyone there to listen, how good you are in battle, in your skillset, and anything else even if you're really not.
He's a wizard, wizard's are very squishy, and he all but swoons when you protect him in the midst of battle. Successfully hits his target while fully distracted watching at you.
Very flustered and keeps asking the others "You saw that right? They were protecting me, you saw that? What do you think it means?"
"Aren't you already courting?"
Ever the gentleman and will offer you his supplies while camping, from his food to his cloak if you're cold, while he is visibly freezing and already singed the edges with a warming spell.
Instead you offer to cuddle him by the fire *that Holga started* and he's sure the blood rushing to his face will keep him plenty warm, thank you.
Extremely faithful and only has eyes for you, Doric says it's gross and asks how you can stand it. Edgin helps him write a song for you.
He tries to serenade you with it, and it is. Horrid. Clenching your teeth listening to him until he realizes how bad this is going and stops. You try to tell him it wasn't that bad but the chorus of your friends chiming in with their honest reviews-
One day you tell him "I think this courtship is going well." and he falls off the rock he was sitting next to you on.
Love is not mentioning that as you offer him a hand back up. He is feeling GREAT the rest of the day.
"Alright loverboy, calm down." - Holga
He trips and falls on his face.
#Simon Aumar x reader#Simon Aumar imagine#dungeons & dragons honor among thieves x reader#dungeons & dragons honor among thieves imagine#D&D HAT x reader#D&D Hat imagine#my stuff
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Been thinking recently about the idea in fandom that boils down to, usually, "the Character that Changes the most being deemed 'the most complex'" and that character development (i.e. character change) being held up as The Golden Standard of a Good Character and...
I fundamentally disagree, but first, a little bit more explanation about what I mean
Very often shows and movies, when being recommended on tumblr, are sold on the basis of having enjoyable/in-depth characters. Often times this also means conflating enjoyable with likeable, but that's a discussion post for another day. And even more often, it means there are characters who are seen as Deep because of how radically they change over the course of a story.
Lots of times, this falls into two camps:
Characters change radically, but early on in the story, and remain largely the same past that point of change (think anytime in a first season) until the end of the story
People recommending shows based on characters having traditional redemption arcs (enemy or bully to friend / good guy / love interest)
Now, I'm not saying that 1) character change can't be deep or 2) that character growth is bad. Neither of those things are true, even subjectively. What I am saying is that 1) character change / a character changing is not the same as automatically being a good, interesting, or well written character and 2) character growth is not the be-all-end-all of character writing. Yes, there can be problems with characters be overly stagnant, but typically that's only an issue if 1) a work is serialized and concerned with character development and they don't change at all, 2) a character never adjusts (rightly or wrongly) according to their mistakes, or 3) all of the above but they're a main character.
However, assuming that Character A has to be radically different at the beginning of a story in terms of their personality/values/etc. as they are at the end of the story is just... not how it works, necessarily. This is, I think, one of the reasons why antagonists who get redemption arcs tend to be more popular than heroes who had good values the whole time, because there's more opportunity to point and go "look, they've changed! they act on and have basic compassion now!" Which, fair enough, but again: other types of characters are fine too.
Particularly for characters fandom tends to have the hardest time with: paragons.
Paragons are characters who are usually the central hero, pretty morally if not entirely moral upstanding, and because they already start out in a place of "always doing the right thing," they rarely radically change by the end of the story. Instead, paragons are used to progress theme/messaging and inspire other characters around them to change (a good example might be Buddy from the Christmas movie Elf and to a lesser extent - as he's more transformative as a character - Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender, who's there to return childhood to his friends as an ideal and carry on Air Nomad values).
And for TDP, that's Ezran.
He's the youngest in the main cast and by far the most measured. While Callum and Rayla are off fighting, he keeps a level head. He assumes responsiblity largely without guilt, holds other people accountable most often without being cruel, he's kind and deeply compassionate, he shows regular empathy for his enemies even when he has to treat them like enemies, he loves his father but does not idealize him, he is king without craving power, he's trusting and honest and while he has his flaws (overly optimistic, his passivity, sometimes struggles to consider other people's emotions, naivety, etc), they - as of yet - are not overly connected to his sense of morality (which is a distinct difference compared to the rest of the main cast).
Now, TDP is less concerned with the theme of Childhood compared to something like ATLA, but Ezran being a child (again, in a way the rest of the cast is not) is also very important. Ezran, and Callum to a lesser extent, is the embodiment of the concept that children aren't born with hatred in their hearts; it's learned, or earned, through experience, society, and suffering. And as Ezran spells out for us in 4x03, he has suffered and been hurt - and he believes in breaking the cycle and believing in hope for a better future anyway.
Ezran's steadfast reflection of the series' core theme of "true strength - to break the cycle - is found in vulnerability, in forgiveness, in love" in both word and action does make him the closest thing to a paragon in the series. He's the one who finds the egg; he's the one who forgives Rayla and Soren; he's the one who still tries to help Claudia; he's the peacemaker, the literal bridge between peoples and species in spite of witnessing so many of their worst crimes/actions.
In both arcs, there tended to be a trio of characters who rapidly change, and a trio of characters who are more, comparatively, stagnated. Early S1 Rayla, Callum, and Soren are radically different in a ton of ways than they are even at the beginning of S3, but especially by the end. On the other hand, Viren - post 1x03 at least - Claudia and Ezran are far more consistent in arc 1; their circumstances change, but their viewpoints and realities and choices are largely the same from season to season - they just keep doubling down. This doesn't mean they don't change at all, but they don't radically transform - they just become more of what they already are.
I'd say that in arc 2, things have switched up, with Callum, Rayla, and Viren being the three who are radically transformed (thus far) with Soren, Claudia, and Ezran still being in the more stagnated corner. (For more notes on Claudia and Ezran's shared passivity, check out this pre-S4 meta.)
Ezran starts out the series as a good hearted, slightly mischevious little boy who loves his family and believes that people can be good. The point of the series is not to change these parts of him. It's to demonstrate the difficulties - losing both his parents, taking on the kingship, struggling to make the right choices, keeping his friends together, caring about peace and sentiment in a world that increasingly does not - of maintaining those positive traits, again, in a world that is determined to test those ideals and attributes.
Ezran is not here to be transformed by the storm, the same way his friends and some of his companions are. He is here to demonstrate the strength and necessity in weathering the storm so that the world cannot make you cold, or uncaring, or violent, even when those paths and emotions would be much easier to go down.
Good character development isn't about changing your character; it's about changing your audience's understanding and perspective of your character. Sometimes that means the character is also changing simultaneously, but that's far from a requirement for a character to be interesting. Like most things in writing, what it really boils down to is execution.
And I could go on about why I think people gravitate towards characters who start off evil (often part of imperialist empires or older, institutionally backed systems) and learn that the evil was wrong actually (and sometimes not even that) but that's a meta for another day, and this one is long enough.
TLDR; Ezran, like a few other characters in the show - antagonists and protagonists alike - is not meant to be a radically transformative, even though he very much has grown and changed. Instead, he's meant to exemplify the importance of not losing your sense of self in an increasingly cruel or difficult world, and what parts we should arguably try our best to hold onto as well.
#writing advice#tdp#as an example#analysis series#analysis#tdp ezran#ezran#the dragon prince#writeblr#i've always preferred paragons / non traditional redemption arcs so my preferences are#very opposed to general tumblr's but not at all surprising#also don't think i need to spell out why paragons would be particularly compelling for ND / autistic folks
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Together, forevermore
Fandom: Honkai Star Rail
Pairing: (Yan?)Blade x fem!reader
Warnings: Pretty dark, (at least its the most dark thing I've written so far DONT JUDGe me), blade is not nice here, non-con but no sex
Summary: Someone visits you on your deathbed.
A/N: ...... i may be on a slight toxic writing streak......... I WILL BRING SOMETHING ELSE FLUFF ENJOYERS I PROMISE
imma be honest i dont know if this is considered as yandere but i will tag it as such just in case
Your bones are weary. Wrinkles are prominent on your face, and your hair has completely faded to white.
You savor it all. The way time robs you of your youth, the way you bend to its will, morph yourself into a fragile being that couldn’t continue her adventure on the Express. The way you laugh when you spill a cup, when eons ago you would charge towards the enemy with your spear in hand.
You were satisfied with yourself. You have lived, breathed, and entertained yourself before the curtain fell. You have made friends, enemies, lovers, and experienced the joy and suffering of life. The galaxy is your sky, and the worlds you travel to is your home.
Well- perhaps just one lover. It felt like many, though. You could never forget him, but he is just a hazy memory in your old brain.
To think, a former Cloud Knight soldier would live and breathe without mara- truly, a wonderful end to a blazing life like yours.Granted, you weren’t from the Xianzhou- but to be on the battlefield is to sign up a guaranteed death by Abudance.
Even as the Crew parts, their memories and cherished ambitions lay dormant in your heart- beating weakly, slowly, and closer to eternal rest.
You loved this life, and you hated to see it go. Perhaps this is the wisdom Jingliu was desperate for- to understand mortality, and to understand an end to a life well spent.
You feel your fear of death grasping your chest as you heave, drinking in every breath. Unparalleled joy also envelops you; ah, the precious catalyst life holds for this body. Even as you have withered away, this body still yearns for a little bit of life, still squeezes every last drop, a complete opposite of the mara-stricken soldiers tethering between sanity and mania.
Beautiful. How beautiful this life could be.
You could only wish for the others to feel the same. You hope March understands the beauty of fragile mortality, and Dan Heng’s rest during his rebirth.
Even then, human will never dies. You and the trailblazer have entrusted yours to the Cosmodyssey, greeting the future generation of trailblazers from the distant past. Only this way, would you be immortalized, encapsulated in a beautiful dream.
A soft creak of the door alerts you. You smile, even as you struggle to inhale enough air to speak. “... Can’t you leave an old lady… to her death bed?”
Your voice is grating and unpleasant, but you cherish it all the same.
The visitor doesn’t speak. They walk in slowly, carrying a glass of water. At least, it looks like it- oh, you can’t blame yourself for not recognizing anything with such poor eyesight.
Probably one of the nurses that are hell bent on keeping you alive. You don’t really like them, you never have. Ever since you resigned yourself to an elderly shelter on your home planet, where you could meet even more friends before your end, the nurses have been instructed to keep you alive for as long as possible. Probably because if you do, you can attend more interviews, review more biographies about you and the Legends of Akivilli.
You can’t muster up the strength to retort any more, though. The nurse doesn’t really speak, either. They have a comically large mask on, one that shields their whole face, with only eyes piercing back. You don’t recognize them. Eugh, poor eyesight.
The monitor begins to beat feverishly. You are quite parched, though. No harm in quenching your thirst one last time before you kick the bucket.
As you reach for the glass, memories flash before your eyes. Your mother cradling you, your father holding you tight, your celebration with your friends as you pass your finals, your first arrival on the Xianzhou, your first kiss, your promise for a future with him, your losses, your despair, your fears-
And-
The Express. Your true home, the fondation which you rediscovered yourself and rebuilt yourself on. A place where you will never part, not even in death.
The warmth you felt for it, and the warmth it returned to you will never be forgotten.
You heave as you gulp down the drink. “Thank… you.”
You close your eyes.
Farewell, everyone.
You feel so light. You can properly feel your hands again. The backache is gone, stripped away, and you marvel at the skin that seems to reweave itself- granting you your youth, your past, prime shape. So the afterlife is merciful, after all.
You open your eyes. The birds near the windowsill are still chirping. Nothing has changed.
Wait.
What?
You feel your body reconstructing itself, your bones rearranging and your senses returning. Your eyes grow sharp and your face feels soft. The scars on your arms grow rapidly smaller, and smaller, until they are gone before you can blink. Uneasiness crawls in your chest.
And all the while, strange, delicate branches curl around your limbs, a soft green glow imitating the blessing of-
No. No no no no no no no no no.
No.
NO.
You find your strength to speak properly again. Your voice is lighter, easier to speak with, a voice or a bygone past, and it only nausates you as you grip your blanket. “What did you do?”
You turn to look at the nurse properly, as they finally start to make a sound- a soft, unsettling chuckle, one hand removing their mask.
The cruel smirk dances on Blade’s lips as he gestures to the glass cup in your hand.
Only now do you see the Emenator of Abundances’ blood swimming in the clear water you were so desperate for, only moments ago. You feel light-headed. You feel sick to the core.
You drop the cup, and it shatters on the floor- your skin feels cold, and your brain is spinning. You’re hyper-aware of how the liquid seeping out still flashes with the curse of Abundance, how the birds are screeching, and how Blade is cackling.
You heave, your breaths growing shorter by the moment. You watch as Blade reaches for your face- and if you flinch, he pretends to not notice.
No. You were close. You were so close.
“Why?” you cry, the first tears finally dripping down your cheeks. Blade’s bandaged hands wipe them away, and his dry lips press on them- as if savoring them.
“Did you honestly think you could escape me?” Blade reprimands softly, his empty eyes shining with disgusting, sickening adoration. “You promised you would stay, for as long as you could, for me.”
“You disgusting, wretched beast.” You lament, curling in further of yourself. The effects of the mara have started to settle; your muscles pound hard with fresh life breathed into your body, your bones gritting far worse than when you were of old age, and your mind starting to delude your sight. “I had forgotten you. I had lived, unlike you.”
“Promises are not to be broken.” Blade responds coldly, gripping your chin with sheer strength. You cry out as your skull cracks, only for it to mend itself, in perfect shape, the phantom pain lingering on your jaw. “I watched you blaze a trail for yourself. To me, your life was only moments worth of mine.”
“I married. I had children. They will remember me wedded to someone else.” you seethe.
Blade only chuckles mirthlessly at that. “Your attempts at deceiving me are truly pitiful. I know I was your first and last lover. I watched you fall apart in my absence. I watched your success. I watched how you withered away, and I envied you so, so much. Why couldn’t I feel that happy? Why couldn’t I feel that free?”
His hand ghosts over your neck, a silent warning if you dared to cry for help. Not that you would- you knew exactly what bringing his wrath would entail. Breaking your neck over, and over, and over again, to feel the pleasure of death like his master brought for him.
“I watched you pave a way for yourself. I hated you. I loved you. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Kafka has numbed everything away. But I chose to hold onto these feelings. Only you could give rise to new emotions after my rebirth. And you will be my partner. Together, we will be betrayers of death.”
You shake your head, and you wish so badly that all of this was a figment of your imagination. But it is real. You’ve seen enough soldiers fall prey to mara. You might have only succumbed to a dilated version, but it still tears away at your soul.
“Your playtime is over. Death will never reach you. Not even Nihility can bring you the peace you need. So stay with me.” He leans over, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. Your head pounds. Shapes and colors blend into a mess. Only Blade sits before you.
“Not that you have a choice.” He nips the bud of your ear, his voice soft and stifling. The stench of blood and rain clings onto his skin, and you succumb to the despair that fills your heart. “You will join the Stellaron Hunters. Kafka will help you, as she did with me.”
He leans back, and he smiles, deranged and devoid of sanity, living in his own world of pure delusion.
Sometimes, when you were dating, you wondered what he was before he was Blade. Would he still date you?
And even now, as he seals his promise with a kiss, you think. Would he condone any of this? How would he feel, knowing he has turned into a monster?
You close your eyes. You envision your friends and comrades, who all bear no burdens of eroding immortality, an apology on your tongue.
I’m sorry. I failed you all.
“Together, forevermore.”
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr blade#hsr blade x reader#hsr blade x you#yan!blade#yandere#hsr x reader#hsr x female reader#blade x female reader
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Criminal Minds: the moment they realized they are in love with you
AN: this will be multiple posts, each part with a different character and different plot line. I plan on writing the reader as gender neutral. I’ve seen this fanfic trope from multiple different fandoms, so I thought I might give it a try. Please remember I’ve only seen the first few seasons of Criminal Minds.
AN edit: sorry this took so long and that the story is so long. I got carried away writing this one <3
Part 1: Spencer Reid
You and Spencer were at a quaint, small, family owned restaurant. It was nice and semi-formal. Spencer felt bad for cancelling your last two dinners together, so he took you here, a place from his childhood. He claimed to have a handful of good memories from this place, which made you happy. There’s nothing you liked more than to see Reid happy. When you walked in, you took in your surroundings: small tables, all cleaned and organized to a “T”, some booths with what you believed to be genuine leather, and the small glow of lights and candles. You could tell why Spencer liked it here.
“This place is really beautiful, Spencer,” you looked up at him and caught the small smile he threw at you, satisfied you liked his childhood favorite restaurant.
You both sat down at a small table in the back next to the windows. Outside, the sun had set, the sky turning dark purple. You started to scan over the menu, noticing that Spencer hadn’t even glanced in the direction of his. You smiled softly. He already knew what he was going to eat.
“Did you want to-um- get an appetizer?” He asked, his voice less confident than usual. You noticed his usual stims were more animated. He seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands-cracking his knuckles and flexing his fingers-or how to look at you-his eyes would gaze at you and quickly retreat away.
“No, I’m alright.” You didn’t want to tack on additional prices to the bill, which Reid basically demanded he payed fully. It made sense to you why Reid said he didn’t come here too often, given the expensive entrees and fancy drink selection.
“Are you sure? Like I said, I’m covering the bill, so feel free to.. indulge,” the way his cheeks flushed made you wonder what meaning he was hiding behind that statement. Spencer wasn’t the insinuating type, so maybe he didn’t mean anything by it. He did seem a little off tonight, and it made you a little flustered.
“Uh- actually, could you help me pick between these two entrees?” You pointed to your possible selections on the menu. You were going to comment on how silly his insisting on paying the bill was, but you wanted to calm him down and not add to the awkwardness. It was bizarre. You and Spencer were close and had been for a while. When you two would share a meal or go out, you both felt comfortable. Reid talked your ear off, something he tried not to do with most people. It was sweet, and you were honored that he was so at ease around you. All of this tension made this experience- which was supposed to be enjoyable- a little less pleasant.
Reid pointed to the second option you showed him, “I really think you’d like this. It’s what I’m getting.” You both smiled at the serendipitous way you happened to have similar taste.
“I’ll take your word for it. It sounds great.” That seemed to settle things a little. The waiter came over, asking about what they could get you both to drink, boasting about the extensive list of wine and cocktails. Spencer requested just water. He was the DD, and even though a single glass of wine wouldn’t get him drunk, he wanted to keep you at ease knowing you would both get home safe. You hmmed a little, showing your appreciation. Spencer was always extra courteous, one of the many things you loved about him. The waiter took your drink order and asked about appetizers, which you declined.
“We are ready to order,” Spencer remarked. He told the waiter what he wanted and you echoed this, telling the waiter you would have the same.
“Great choice. That will be out of a little bit for you both. Enjoy the rest of your night together.” The waiters comment made you pause for a moment. “Your night together?”
Oh. Oh. The waiter thought you and Spencer were on a date. You and Spencer dressed in formal attire. faces flushed. Awkwardly talking. Ordering the same meal. You and Spencer were on a date. You and Spencer were on a date. Now Spencers demeanor made a lot more sense. You could feel your face turning hot. Oh my god. He was trying to be romantic with you? God. Your heart started to flutter. You secretly wanted badly for the waiter to be right. Was Reid nervous because it looked like you were on a date, or because you were on a date?
“Y/N?” Spencer rose his brows in confusion. You immediately snapped out of your little trance- face hot, mind nervous. It almost relieved you to see he didn’t notice your flustered realization. Now your head was swimming with thoughts, arguing over and over on whether this whole romantic dinner really was romantic or just a friendly bonding experience.
“S-sorry,” you paused, grasping to change the subject. “H-how was your last case? Serial arsonist in Miami right?” You watched as Spencers demeanor completely shifted. His face wiped clean of any other emotion but focus. He spoke with clarity. His pupils dilated a little bit, which you always found funny, as it indicated that he was happy. A serial arson case, making Spencer happy. You know it wasn’t the case itself. Spencer loved sharing knowledge and info dumping about his job and interests. You always prompted him to do so. It frustrated you when he’d get shot down- something people did far too often. You loved listening just as much as Spencer loved sharing. Everything he said was interesting and insightful. You found you always had a lot to learn from Spencer. You nodded your head to his explanations, responding and prompting him with questions.
You and Spencer had found a nice rhythm when making and avoiding eye contact. When you first met, making and breaking eye contact was very awkward, but Spencers anxiety and trouble with social norms lessened after you both grew as friends. It delighted you that Spencers walls melted away with you. That was a two way street as you found yourself sharing parts of yourself you hadn’t with other people, even those you considered close. Spencer had started reciting the profile, most likely word for word what had been said at the real briefing, then he began relating it to an old arson case- one you had heard about multiple times before. Spencer did a good job at putting things in perspective for you, and you didn’t mind him recalling old information, he always found a way to make it relevant and interesting again. He was always so easy to listen to.
You were listening, but the sound of the door opening and a pair of particularly loud heels clacking pulled your attention away for a moment, and maybe you were looking for an excuse to not stare into Spencers completely captivating eyes for they made you extra anxious. You watched oddly as a fancy couple was lead to a table near by where you were dining. Almost immediately your server sped over to them, asking about drinks and throwing recommendations out. Was that group of people on a date as well? Was this place a popular romantic spot? The idea of this being a date absolutely flooded your mind. It was anxiety inducing but also filled you with energy and joy. You had be harboring your real feelings for Spencer for a while.
You turned your head back to Spencer, hearing him clear his throat to get your attention. He was trying to hide his frown. A pit opened in your stomach. Guilt. He went through all this to impress you, be with you.
“Oh, Spencer, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stop listening, I was-,”
“No. It’s alright..” he paused. “I shouldn’t have bored you with that old case. You’ve probably heard it a million times by now anyways.” He avoided eye contact with you.
“Bored?” You were heavily suprised, then realized you probably did seem disinterested. “Spencer, I’m not bored, you could never bore me,” he looked up at you and you made a point to gaze directly to his eyes which you had been dodging. “I love hearing you talk, I love listening to you. I love watching you recite facts, and share about your work.” You paused, and felt like you should keep your next comment to yourself, but said it anyways. “It’s cute.” This made Spencers eyes widen. Cute? He couldn’t really understand how his rambling could be cute, so you elaborated. “The way your pupils widen and you start to talk with your hands- sort of motioning and emoting with them,” you were in deep now, so you kept describing him, this time in way that would suggest you were looking at him with a sort of fondness not just a friend would use, “you start to grin and you don’t even notice. You tuck your hair back behind your ears. Your eyes practically glimmer.” He’s blushing and you can tell by his wandering eyes that he’s now hyper aware of his reactions and expressions. He was shocked. He was the profiler, but you could read him like a book. He never noticed how much you payed attention, how much you really cared.
“And it’s not even just they way you are when you talk, it’s how you talk and what you talk about. I think sometimes you forget that you are a genius. You speak in a way that encapsulates your knowledge and foresight. I always feel like I have something to learn, some room to grow when I’m with you. It doesn’t matter if it’s an old or new case, you bring forth new knowledge or a new perspective. The way you view the world is so fascinating to me, so of course I love it when you talk. I look forward to it. Its silly the way it excites me. I think about it a lot, how much I’ve learned from you. I practically count down the days until we get to see each other again,” at this point you were the one rambling a bit. “So please never think you are boring me, because you are probably the most exciting part of my life, and I truly enjoy listening to you talk. Even if I didn’t like the particular subject you were talking about- which doesn’t happen but if it did- I would still listen. What you say is important and you deserve to be heard. I’m sorry if anyone has made you feel otherwise and if I made you feel like your words were insignificant. Spencer, I’m your friend, and I’m here to listen.” You smiled up at him, not noticing your face being all hot and the way your heart was beating.
On the contrary, Spencer was all too focused on the way his pulse paced and how his face was as red as a cherry. Holy fuck. The awe he was in was simply indescribable. You basically confessed your love to him, just without the literal words themselves. At least, he saw it that way. He came all this way hoping he would have the guts to confess his romantic feelings for you. It took Spencer so so long to come to terms with his “crush” on you, and every time you spoke, his emotions grew in intensity. The way his heart was pounding. His soul practically shaking in his body. The adrenaline and the absolute adoration he felt when he looked at you, talked to you, thought about you. Spencer was often confused by his feelings, but now it made sense. He loved you, and wanted you more than anything. Fueled by his feelings and not really thinking, he abruptly stood up from his chair, leaned over the table, and kissed you. Your eyes widened and you stiffened in surprise, but soon understood what was happening. You stood up from your chair and reached out to cup his face with your hands, but Spencer pulled away, shocked.
“Sorry,” he looked broken with a frown of heartache. “I didn’t mean to-,” you reached out and grabbed his hands. Pulling him closer, you kissed him again, firmly but lovingly. You let go of his hands and cupped his face. Spencer quickly realized and kissed you back, placing his hands on your hips and slightly deepening your kiss. Your lips were soft and so were his. He tasted like mint chapstick, which made you smile into the kiss as you knew he would, almost obsessively, use chapstick to deal with his dry lips. You both pulled away after a tender moment.
“Don’t be sorry,” you gazed at him sweetly. You could see the glisten in his eyes, filled with deep emotion. He stared back at you, absorbed by his feelings for you. You moved your head in, going for another kiss, but saw a food runner walking towards your table with your meals. You tapped Spencers hand and motioned with your head to the seat, hoping he would understand to sit back down. No. He frowned in confusion.
“Spencer, the food,” oh. He sat down right as the runner came to the table. The runner placed your dinner in front of you both and told you to enjoy your meals. Wow. It really did look and smell delicious. You smiled sheepishly at Spencer, and felt just a little bit awkward, having just passionately kissed him in a restaurant. He softly grinned back and, after a moment, glanced at your plate. He motioned for you to try your food. You grabbed your fork and tried to craft the perfect first bite. You looked at Spencer again and finally decided to eat. The food was full of flavor and had a nice texture to it. You absentmindedly licked your lips, which Spencer found adorable.
“It’s really good!” This made Spencer smile wide and he shook his head at your cuteness.
“I knew you’d like it.”
#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#spencer reid x you#spencer x reader#spencer criminal minds#spencer x y/n
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If its not too personal could you talk about what was the inspiration for Michaelis? He's got a lot of depth to him, especially for what could have been a one off character in the background after Fete. Also the way he mourns but carries on really resonates with me in Jes.
Oh sure! I mean, on the one hand it is quite personal but it's a kind of personal I really enjoy sharing. :D Michaelis began life as the Standard Hallmark Parent -- you see them a lot in the movies, the parent who is
1. Kinda grouchy
2. Usually pushing their kid slightly too hard in slightly the wrong direction (with the best of intentions)
3. Often a widow/er
4. Practically a cameo designed to stress out the lead, but easily attractive enough that they could be romantic lead themselves in the sequel.
There are actually several Hallmark films where the over-sixty characters are either the supporting romance in a one-off film or the main romance of a sequel film. (The Wedding Veil films, which despite their flaws are actually very enjoyable, have a Michaelis-like character for the mother of the male lead in the first movie, and she then becomes the major supporting romantic lead in the fourth movie.)
By the time I got to Michaelis talking to Eddie at the end of the script for Fete, I'd grown to really like him. When I adapted the script to a novel, I liked him even more. I thought that I could do a sequel with him getting jolted out of himself a bit -- and I was encouraged by how many people liked him in the initial read through. The main inspirations for the actual plot of Infinite Jes were, one, Gregory jokingly suggesting he do a podcast, and two, Michaelis's defensive dismissal of Gregory's question about what he's done for companionship since Miranda passed.
Over the course of writing Infinite Jes, he came to be a collection of themes I've explored or wanted to explore, sometimes themes I knew I wasn't skilled enough to handle yet. The core of him is based on a professor I worked with as a student; the confidence that occasionally tips into arrogance, the keen intellect that likes to take things apart, the ability to look at some toxic family traits and decide "RIP but I'm different" and be a present, nurturing masculine figure, all come from that professor, who had a huge impact on me.
But I have also been fascinated for decades now by a certain kind of character in fiction, someone who has had a devastating loss and keeps going, even if they aren't driven by something like revenge. Profound grief is difficult and fascinating for me, and I finally felt capable of exploring that fully, perhaps because the pressure on romance novels is a bit lower at times.
And honestly, a lot of him is me, processing the fact that I am aging in fandom. I'm older (44) than the oldest person I knew in fandom (38) when I joined it at the age of 14. I have, for lack of a better word, a position in fandom, a status, that affords me certain perks and requires of me certain obligations. Not to call myself elected king of fandom ("I didn't vote for him!") but the duty I feel to fandom, both as a culture that raised me and a found family, is very similar.
Most of my characters contain some of me, but Michaelis and Jerry contain far more of me than most, perhaps because I'm in a place to do some reflection. Michaelis -- intelligent, experienced, hopefully a mentor, but also lonely and detached at times -- is who I'm coming to grips with being; Jerry, the charming fuckup with power but no real clue how to use it, who is doing his best to grow up a little later than a lot of his peers and figure out how disability fits into his identity, is who I still see myself as.
So yeah -- I find Michaelis incredibly fun and compelling to write for, and I think that's because I had hit a skill level in my work where I could combine a lot of tropes and themes into one character and use him to explore why I enjoy them so much. But he definitely began life as the Hallmark Widowed Dad. :D Well, there are worse origin stories.
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32! Do you like HS^2?
i...genuinely do! i think sometimes there's a half-conception that based on the mere premise of my fics that i don't like postcanon all that much (omelette route was misconstrued as an epilogues fix-it fic in certain circles and pickle route is still sometimes seen as a "better version" of hs^2) even though everything i write is in direct conversation with and comes from a place of admiration for hs^2/the epilogues.
with hs^2 in particular i think it had some really electric ideas that we only got to see the very first brushstrokes of (thinking most pertinently here about whatever was going to go down on deltritus that we never saw) that, if they'd been able to get off the ground, probably would have eclipsed the epilogues as the most interesting part of homestuck. from the bits we saw the meat timeline stuff was definitely the weakest. outside of the jade/altcallie possession chapter a lot of that half of the story was fairly unsurprising character-driven extrapolation of the same angst we departed the epilogues with - and i largely agree with @hms-no-fun that some kind of timeskip here would have helped it feel a little less repetitive (although arguably there might have been? three years definitely passed with dirk et al but it was very up in the air as to how long it had been for the pursuit spaceship crew). i get why that never happened - both meat and candy were being told in tandem and candy ended on a buildup to an immediate conflict that needed to be followed in real time versus meat's meandering slingshot towards something more nebulous, so for the sake of structural symmetry that limited things a little.
i think i'm more amenable to a lot of hs^2's storytelling decisions because i wholly and entirely loved the epilogues from the getgo and it was so good to see that theme/tone be carried through to a more "traditional" mspa space, even if i wonder if the comic form damaged the story more than it helped it. i remember a lot of people getting weirdly mad whenever we'd get an extended prose scene instead of visual panels despite hs^2 being a continuation of the text-based epilogues. then again, the mainstream hs fandom as a whole fucking sucked when it came to postcanon and that's even more evident in how they've collectively memoryholed the whole thing so talking about audience reception is maybe not the most useful thing to talk about here lmao. idk i think people forget that homestuck is largely a story about people who suck and then who get better from sucking. it's just that nobody really likes it when that lens is turned inward onto the alphas/betas who outside of a small handful of exceptions in canon never really had any ethical issues that caused problems for them and others so i personally think it was very interesting and refreshing to explore how the kids' complacency wrt their baggage and trauma allowed them and their world to backslide so disastrously! roxy lalonde enabling jane's fascist ascension is fascinating storytelling actually! (side note: read through shadowed eyes)
hs^2's original characterwork is probably where the story shines the most. the fucked up dynamics between the theseus crew was super fun to read because there's honestly nothing more enjoyable than Supremely Divorced people deciding that makes them irredeemably evil now. the egbert gender stuff was really nice! i particularly enjoyed how, even though it came after the june egbert renaissance, it still managed to be its own unique take on egbert's gender arc that i think really encapsulated the originality driving the project. also forever shoutout to the candy kids my beloved candy kids my children who i will die for - for me in particular hs^2 was a fun time because i was developing my own versions of harry/vrissy/tav for pickle route in parallel to hs^2 and it was so enjoyable seeing all the overlaps and divergences with each upd8. also yiffy fucking rules on every level and even though she never got to be more than a promise she sure was one hell of a promise.
that said i do not think it's that surprising that hs^2 ultimately died before its time. the conditions of the story paired with the most demoralising and vicious iteration of the fandom meant the odds were stacked against it in a big way. you can particularly see the strain of that starting to manifest in the final ~6 months worth of upd8s where people were leaving/being pushed out of the project and every part of hs^2 was a completely hostile environment and the quality of the art and storytelling began to get a little shaky - which i can't really blame them for all things considered! it's hard to want to make the best version of a story possible when the overwhelming reception is a bunch of sanctimonious redditbrained weirdos screaming that you're evil and foul for making characters in a piece of fiction do unexpected and surprising things and also being sympathetic to trans women. there were of course issues with the production conditions of hs^2 that would have probably led to some sort of reckoning at some point, but it's very obvious that the traumatic pressure cooker of a fanbase that wanted nothing more than the death of this project and the ruination of everyone that worked on it threw this whole thing off the rails much faster. despite that, you still have to infinitely admire the team for daring to make something challenging and original in a sphere dominated by people who are content to regurgitate the same babybrained 2013 content ad infinitum - for just a brief moment, homestuck was truly allowed to be the literary masterpiece it's been all along. now people just treat it as more fandomslop to consume and that's perhaps the biggest shame of all.
in the end i think hs^2's legacy is best felt in the places haunted by its premature absence. i'm talking about the comic itself of course but also other spaces and people and projects. stuff that really engaged with the meaty thematic frameworks being thrown up in postcanon that now no longer have a mirror to talk back to - stuff like pesterquest and godfeels and the aforementioned through shadowed eyes that all massively are in conversation with the deeper artistic and philosophical principles underpinning this era of homestuck. if anything else hs^2 will continue to serve as a useful prerequisite for getting into some of the best stuff homestuck fans have ever made. we might never see what could have been, but at least the torch is still being carried by people who care.
#spaceengineerjulia#homestuck asks#homestuck^2#long post#i had more opinions on this than i'd previously thought lmao
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Comes in Waves - Free Day
Entries for the 2024 RadioStatic Week.
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Rating: Teen and Up Audience
Relationship: Alastor/Vox
Additional Tags: Cursing, Angst, Fluff and Angst, I'll try and write a good mix of both happy and sad, They're both idiots when it comes to love.
Alastor was an individual who liked to be in control.
When he was alive, it was the ease at which he could go with finding his next kill. The enjoyment and thrill of planning, executing, and learning from each endeavor. It was listening to the latest reports on his murder sprees and squirming with delight in knowing the authorities had no clue as to what they were doing when trying to catch him. Above all, it was Alastor using his appearance and twisted words to make anyone follow him.
Men, women, it didn’t matter. If he found them interesting enough, he could ensnare anyone. Alastor knew he had the face that easily stuck out from a crowd but looked so ‘innocent’ that he’d been off the radar before too long. He held the right *ahem* coloring to be either someone’s greatest sinful thought or territorial fantasy. His voice was easy on the ears that carried a vocabulary that would make even a politician be stunned into silence. The promises that Alastor could offer brought any needy soul to his doorstep.
People were easy to fool. Trick. Manipulate. All met with a treat of something that Alastor would never produce for them. Because they were playthings. Mere toys for him to mess around with until he grew bored and realized the other had outgrown their usefulness.
They were all so desperate to see what he could provide.
Too bad for them, a good idea of a ‘thrust’ was vastly different from what Alastor was after.
When he’d arrived in Hell, Alastor didn’t feel all that much had changed. The difference this time being his rather smug attitude and indifference made other demons believe he was a walking joke. Someone who would be dead dead within the month of his fall because he’d be careless and crossed the wrong person.
Oh, how foolish.
All they had given him was another form of manipulation. Another element of surprise.
Another element of control.
When he’d taken down his first Overlord, Alastor spent 10 minutes, standing in that alleyway, laughing. Laughing his head off as if he’d been told the best joke ever. The sound seeming to echo through the relatively quiet area of Hell.
He didn’t think it’d be that easy. Surely someone who’d claimed to be so powerful and spent so much time putting Alastor down, that must have meant something. Right? Mayhaps Alastor was far stronger than even he realized. Did that matter? No. Because it allowed him to pull the rug out from others far faster than he originally planned.
He just needed a little more power.
Just a bit.
Enough to have a gaggle of underlings to constantly mock, enough screams to provide proof of what he’d done, and power to keep himself among the elite.
But never call him an Overlord.
Oh no.
No.
He was something better.
Something that would be feared by and nervously watched over.
He was the Radio Demon.
He had control.
This place was made for him and he was going to take full advantage of it.
.
.
.
And the Vox arrived.
Truthfully, their first encounter was a chance one. Built off of the fact Alastor just so happened to be walking by an alleyway. Which just so happened to be filled with the very gang that had called him out at least a week ago for a ‘fight’. Who just so happened to be focusing on a new arrival instead of how the air was suddenly filled with static.
Well, who was Alastor to pass up just a wonderful opportunity?
It was barely a fight. But Alastor was able to get his blood flow quota in and was counting it as a good cap for the afternoon. His enjoyment of slaughter came to a halt when he finally saw the new arrival.
Well, it actually ended when there wasn’t a single gang member still alive.
Semantics.
The point still remains that Alastor was a little…taken aback with seeing the other. He’d become painfully aware of the rise in technology and the new things being produced back on the living world. Mainly for the fact those same movements were making their way down here. It made it a little harder to remind everyone of the proper form of media and entertainment. But just a little. He was still able to hijack a lot of equipment that worked on similar frequencies and waves.
The fact was for the quick growth Hell was experiencing, there weren’t a lot of sinners that were closely tied with technology. Some did have little parts of their form changed. Maybe they had a cable that produced from their neck. Or their eyes were actually light bulbs. Small changes such as that were pretty common.
However, having a giant as all could be television for a head was…different. Drastic. It had Alastor pondering what that fellow had gone through before passing away to deserve that as his form for an eternity.
Not to be overly bothered by it, Alastor had sent the new arrival on his way. Providing directions to Cannibal Town and Rosie’s name to guidance before departing. With the mind that he’d never been seeing the other again. The city was big afterall. And Alastor had other worries than that of the physical formation of new technology.
Except it wasn’t that easy.
It felt that Alastor was running into the heavy headed demon almost on a weekly basis for how often the other just…appeared. The Radio Demon couldn’t conclude that the other was stalking him. Afterall, said demon looked just as surprised to see Alastor when they’d meet up once more. With an air that couldn’t be faked. Just wonderful happenstance that would bring them together.
Truthfully, Alastor attempted at first to keep the other at a safe distance. He didn’t want to have to worry about the information provided by another demon. He had enough on his plate. Plus, having a ‘partner’ of any kind made his skin crawl.
Yes, Rosie and he were friends. That was a bond created by necessity as the female cannibal was the reason Alastor was even here still.
Just as with the other demon…
It didn’t matter. Alastor didn’t want it.
Too bad the other demon seemed impervious to Alastor’s clear warning signs. Or just didn’t care overall. He’d happily provided his newly, self appointed name (“Vox, has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”), how he’d accidentally both shocked another sinner and plunged a city block into a black out (“Electricity based powers, who knew?”). At each turn, Alastor put up an air of clear indifference. Offering a small hum or a condescending “How interesting.” in hopes that his want of space would be recognized.
Much to his annoyance, Alastor still ran into Vox by random chance. And Vow was always happy to see him.
The first time Alastor had shown any kind of interest in what Vox was managing, he should have run. He should have physically put as much space between them as possible. Because he should have recognized he would start his descent into wanting the other around.
Alastor had found Vox in one of the many parks Hell seemed to spawn. This one in particular spouted a rather impressive lake that was a deep red yet somehow was still able to reflect the sky above clearly. His afternoon walk of terrorizing and hunting was put on pause when red eyes flickered over to a familiar form sitting by the edge of said water.
Vox was hunched over. Working furiously on something in his hands that Alastor couldn’t see from this point.
Now, the Radio Demon wasn’t a stranger to the things Vox could make. Namely pieces of technology and electrical doodads that Alastor had no interest in. The radio was a fine invention and the rotary phone worked wonders. Why push for more? Seemed like an annoyance, if anyone had been so kind as to ask Alastor his opinion on the matter.
What had caused Alastor to pause that day was the fact that he couldn’t find one scrap of mechanical what-not near Vox. Instead, a pile of some kind of shaving was resting at his feet. Steadily growing as Vox continued to work.
Curiosity getting the better of him, Alastor crept forward. Stunned for a moment in realizing that Vox was actually whittling. Slowly carving away at a piece of wood instead of trying to bash two pieces of mechanical equipment together. Alastor couldn’t see what the other was making. He could tell that Vox was putting as much effort into it as possible.
“Well, what do we have here?” Alastor finally broke the calm.
Vox gave a yelp that, later on, he would deny vehemently that he’d ever make such a noise. As it was, he merely stood up and quickly hid what he’d been working on behind him. So quickly that Alastor momentarily believed that the poor demon had stabbed himself with the knife, with how uncaring he’d been about its placement.
“Alastor!” Vox shouted out. He coughed and cleared his throat before continuing, “Hey…you, um, what are you doing here?”
“I feel that I should be asking you the same thing. Don’t you have a studio or something for you to work at? Yet you picked by the side of a lake to create something. How interesting.”
“Well, I mean, I don’t want to be crammed in there all day. I may like to work, but I’m not that crazy.” Vox gave a weak shrug, still holding his hands behind his back. “A change of scenery is nice. I…didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Afternoon strolls do wonders to keep my mind clear. But don’t be changing the subject to me. I would think that your delicate equipment and electrical pieces wouldn’t work well around water.”
Alastor’s brow raised as he watched in silent fascination as Vox’s screen flickered for a brief moment. Showing snow before settling back down to his facial features once more.
“...It’s not something electrical that I’m working on.” The Media Demon offered weakly.
Which only peeked Alastor’s interest more. “Well, you can’t just leave me hanging with that statement. Let me take a quick gander at what you’re working on?”
“I mean- It’s not that important! Just a little hobby I picked up, stupid really. You’ll just…laugh.”
“Well, I am in the mood for a good chuckle.”
“That’s not what I mea- Hey!”
Vox’s panic grew when a shadow tendril emerged from the ground and wrapped around what he’d been hiding. He made no move to gather it back as it was deposited into the awaiting Radio Demon’s hand.
Whatever Alastor had been expecting…it wasn’t this.
It was a small wooden figure, mainly that of a deer resting on what was just a lump of wood. The creation was only partially finished with the majority of the focus being on said deer. Even with how little had been created, the details that Alastor could see were impressive, to say the least. He was taken aback for a moment to think that someone so reliant on technology as Vox would take up a hobby, an interest, such as this.
“Is…it bad?”
Alastor blinked a few times, realizing rather late that he’d been quiet for a few minutes as he’d looked the figure over. Vox’s tone of anxiousness pulled him back over to the Media Demon.
“I…can’t give proper judgment on this,” Alastor started, “Afterall, you’re…clearly not finished yet. I do like what I see so far… When did you take up carving?”
“A while ago,” Vox answered as he drew closer, “I wanted something to do with my hands that was just building the latest…whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I like what I make. But it can be so..boring, exhausting, I get stuck in a rut and…I just wanted to create without having it needing to be the best thing ever.”
“Yet you asked for my approval?”
“You don’t demand things from me.”
Oh.
Alastor felt himself tense slightly as an unfamiliar feeling seemed to grow in his stomach. Which only became worse when Vox reached out to take his creation back and their fingers brushed together.
The Radio Demon cleared his throat. “You seem to have started off strong.”
“You don’t think this is stupid? You know…carving wood?”
“When you say it like that, yes. If you don’t want people to judge you for what makes you happy, then you need to create an air of indifference.”
Vox frowned softly, “But…I need feedback to grow better.”
“Ah, but there’s a difference between feedback and someone being an ass.” Alastor’s smile softened hearing the other snort, “You don’t need my approval, or anyone else's, to do what makes you happy. Constructive criticism is not a bad thing.”
“Besides, I think you’ve found something that will help you become…well rounded. Get you away from your constant need for flashing lights and screens.”
Vox laughed softly, “I’ll admit, it is a nice break… Thanks, Alastor.”
Oh.
That weird feeling hit him once more. Alastor felt the need to collect himself before he tried to move or speak. He’d never experienced this sensation before. It wasn’t bad…but it wasn’t good either. It was confusing, and he didn’t like being confused.
Maybe if had known then what he knew now, Alastor would have put that space between them.
But like a fool, he didn’t. Because he wasn’t aware of what was happening.
Like a cliche, he only realized what had happened after he fell so far.
Because after that meeting, Alastor had started to notice…little things about the Media Demon.
His overly charismatic and rather loud personality that Alastor hated was just a performance. One that Vox put on to have an air of superiority around other demons who he didn’t know or didn’t trust. When alone, however, Vox was nothing more than a grown child talking eagerly about his interests, his ideas, his plans for the future. Things that only Alastor had the privilege of knowing about. Which made Alastor feel just that much more special to the other demon.
While Vox’s control was over technology, namely those with electricity, he was clearly more than just a one-note individual. Beyond the wood carving, Vox also held a passion for music. One that wouldn’t necessarily rival Alastor’s knowledge, but that did impress the Radio Demon. Even if their conversations of the topic would more often than not end with them dancing together. Or, rather, Alastor teaching Vox how to dance and resulted in them both laughing like fools as they sat on the floor with their feet hurting for different reasons.
There was also the point that Vox's interests seemed to fluctuate from time to time. The Media Demon would have a new bullet point list of interesting topics he’d discovered that he’d read down when he and Alastor met up. The Radio Demon took note for himself that Vox’s interest more often than not revolved around sharks. Which is rather ironic as he was now a being who could be severely damaged or even killed by water if he wasn’t careful. But no matter the topic, Vox was the only sinner that Alastor could happily listen to ramble for hours.
For a while, Alastor was content with the situation. He was happy with the relation that he and Vox seemed to share. He felt strangely comfortable and at ease around the Media Demon, who was clearly happy to give Alastor the time of day whenever needed.
Then Valentino entered into their lives.
Alastor was only properly introduced to the moth during one of Vox’s large parties. Which he insisted helped him find new souls to exploit and build his still rather small business at the time, but Alastor found these gatherings more than annoying. After all, he could only destroy so many cameras from the media attempting to take his photo before he became bored. But, Alastor knew the other liked his presence there, offering silent moral support. And who was he to say no?
He fully believed that he would be walking into the same situation as before. Alastor remaining near Vox while the other worked his way around the room to gather what he needed. It was something they’d been doing for years now. Something that didn’t need words to be exchanged to know what needed to happen.
But as he crossed the large doors to Vox’s tower, Alastor’s eyes landed on a situation that made his insides freeze and burn at the same time.
A thin and tall moth demon, with wings a brilliant red wrapped around them, was leaning down to give Vox their full attention. Seeming uncaring as to what the Media Overlord was actually saying but was watching the other with a hunger in their eyes that Alastor did not like.
In a blink of an eye, the Radio Demon was by Vox’s side. His smile strained as he easily stared the moth down. Who had stood back, no doubt surprised by the other’s sudden appearance. Vox, however, paused in his ramblings and offered Alastor a wide smile.
“Alastor, you finally showed up! Thought you’d try skipping this one.” Vox said with a laugh.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Alastor’s eyes briefly traveled up and down over the moth demon, “But I see that you’ve already started perusing the room.”
“Kind of. To be honest, Valentino just walked up and started asking a few questions. He says he has some ideas that could help with the future of the business.”
“Oh, you should know better than to take the words of some lesser demon at face value. I taught you better than that.” Alastor reached out to gently pinch the corner of Vox’s screen. Who just laughed and pushed him away.
Red eyes casually looked back over to this Valentino, Alastor more than happy to see how upset the moth now appeared.
Aw, did someone not like Vox’s attention away from them?
The feeling was mutual.
“So tell me, what delusional grandeurs do you have to offer to Vox here? It must be impressive if he was rambling about it when I was walking in.” Alastor said with a tight smile.
The moth took a slow drag from the cigarette, puffing it out to wash over Alastor. Who took a small sniff and felt his body reject whatever was infused into the scent. It smelled…disgusting.
“I’m not sure if I’m up for sharing ideas with a demon I don’t know.” Valentino huffed.
“Oh no, you know Alastor,” Vox said as he easily wrapped an arm around said demon, “This is the Radio Demon. One of the most powerful Overlords Hell has ever seen.”
“You flatter me Vox…but please, continue.”
Oh, he was taking so much enjoyment seeing Valentino's face become twisted into a snarl as he glared at the arm. Seeing the moth demon squirm with anger. This is what happens when someone tries to take what belongs to Alastor-
Wait.
What?
Were those…his thoughts?
Was he actually…
“So, you’re the Radio Demon,” Valentino scoffed as he took another drag, “Not much to look at. You older model Overlords must hate anything flashy for how dull you all look. Such a shame.”
“Well, we don’t feel the need to over-embellish. We tend to let our work speak for us. But I can see why you younger demons see it the way you do. Actually attempting something meaningful must be too much for you to handle. You make up for your lack of any skills by being loud. In more than one way.” Alastor shot back.
Vox, who was slowly realizing there was a bit of tension in the air, had his eyes traveling between the two.
“I’ll have you know that us ‘younger demons’ are bringing more to the table than you could ever imagine.” Valentino hissed out.
“Yes, you did make a remark on something ‘new’ that interested Vox. Tell me, what idea seemed to have worked its way into that thick skull of yours?”
“Alastor.” Vox whispered, a warning undertone held to it.
“If you must know, it’s a new form of entertainment. A new height of pornography that Hell has not seen before.”
Alastor’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “We have enough of that down here, thank you. With plenty of it appearing on Vox’s networks. I’m not seeing the draw to your ‘brilliant’ idea.”
“Because no one here has allowed the full potential to be reached. For it being Hell, everyone’s still playing relatively safe. My movies will be finding the limits and pushing past them.”
“And how do you intend to do that?”
Valentino smirks, a few streaks of red saliva sliding down his chin. “I have my ways.”
“How delightful.” Alastor growled out, not even bothering to hide his disgust. He was surprised as he was suddenly pulled away from the other demon. Allowing Vox to direct him to the closest dark hallways.
“Hold that thought for one second.” Vox called out to Valentino with a smile before he and Alastor disappeared from view. The Media Demon fixes the other with a pissed off but confused look. “What’s going on with you?”
“What, I’m not allowed to carry on a conversation with potential employees?” Alastor snipped back.
“If you’d done so in the past, I wouldn’t be this worried because it would be another way of you playing with their fears. But you’ve never been this…snippy. Even more so since it looked like you were going to tear his arms off at one point. Seriously, what’s up?”
“Nothing is ‘up’, I’m just…not a fan of that Valen-what’s-his-face. He’s offering a product that you already produce and acts like he invented the idea of recording intercourse. Smug little man in my opinion.”
Vox let out a slow sigh before placing a hand on Alastor’s shoulder. “Look, I need heavy hitters on my team. People who want to push past what’s ‘ordinary’ or ‘comfortable’. If Valentino thinks he has an idea to help, then I’m going to give him the room to do so. I’ll kick him to the curb without a second thought if he can’t produce.”
“So I don’t count as those ‘heavy hitters’ you’re looking for.”
That comment caused Vox to falter slightly. Even Alastor felt surprised he would make a call out like that.
“...I think you’ve made it very clear you don’t want to work with me,” Vox whispered, “But…I’m fine with that. You’re a one demon person, look out for yourself, right? I get it. That doesn’t mean you get to weigh in on my business choices.”
“I thought you valued my opinion.”
“If you had good feedback to provide, absolutely. Not when you look so…jealous.”
Alastor gripped his staff tightly behind his back. “I’m not jealous.”
“You were matching Valentino’s comments beat for beat. I don’t know if that was your attempt to make yourself the biggest demon in the room or what, but you’re intimidated by Valentino in some way. Is it because he’s taller? Because you’re taller than me without heels on and I’ve never complained.”
“I’m not- Stop putting words in my mouth. I only come to these ridiculous events because I found it entertaining how desperate demons flounder to you. If you’re not going to listen to my words, then I’ll just take my leave.”
“Alastor, wait, that’s not-”
But he’d already sunk into his shadows back into his domain before Vox could grab onto him.
That disgustingly warm feeling in his stomach now mixed with something bitter and cold.
Alastor hated how comfortable he’d felt in that state of dazed feelings. He’d become content with Vox, so much so he wasn’t sure if he was truly the same demon he’d been before. He hadn’t realized how far into Vox’s companionship he’d sunk into until this moment.
How many times had he told himself Vox was just a plaything? Someone to keep his interest between making deals and taking souls. That’s all it was supposed to be.
Yet seeing that stupid, disgusting, ̠v̠̠i̠̠l̠̠e̠, f̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞c̳̿͟͞k̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞g̳̿͟͞ r̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞p̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞s̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ V̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞ getting so close to Vox hit Alastor in a way he knew he couldn’t just push pasted this…
He needed help.
“How do you stop caring about someone.”
Roise finished her sip of tea before addressing her guest. Regarding Alastor with a raised brow and a smirk that clearly stated ‘Oh, I know where this is going’. She placed her cup and saucer down on the small table before gesturing to the empty chair across from her.
With as much refinement as he could handle in the emotional state he was in, Alastor all but flopped into the offered chair. Even with his constant smile, it was clear to the cannibal leader the other was pouting.
“Now, this wouldn’t happen to be about that Vox fellow I see you with so much?” Rosie asked while pouring Alastor his own cup. “Wasn’t he having a little shindig at his company today? It’s pretty common to see you at his side on these big events.”
Alastor let out a low growl before picking up the offered cup. “He found someone else to…converse with. I removed myself as my concerns didn’t interest that idiotic TV.”
“You didn’t seem to think Vox was an idiot when you offered the idea for that hunting show.”
He pointedly took a long sip of tea.
“I know you’re not a fan of sharing what’s going on in that head of yours. But I need something from you if you really expect me to help you.” Rosie stated, fixing her next cup.
“...I’ve now realized how close I was to him, to Vox, and that’s…”
“Terrifying?”
“I’m not built for…for caring for others and I never wanted to be,” Alastor said shortly, “Alive, dead, I don’t care. I…I cringe at that deep of a connection with someone.”
“You and I have an established relationship.”
“...It doesn’t feel the same as what Vox and I have. Or had, I’m not sure if we’re on the best of terms right now.”
“Oh, one little spat isn’t going to ruin anything. You’ll just need to be more honest when you see him next.”
“But I don’t want to be! I don’t even know what I want right now and it’s driving me crazy!”
Rosie said nothing as Alastor crushed the cup beneath his hand. Nor as he stood and started pacing the room. The Cannibal Overlord quietly called for a clean up and a new cup while she turned back to the other demon. “You’re certainly in a situation if you’re this riled up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tense before.”
“Because I’ve never…felt this before. It’s an uncertainty that I don’t want to face. I like control, I love being in control. This is making me feel that I’m somehow falling apart yet being put back together again.”
“It’s okay to be in love-”
“I̳̿͟͞ a̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞ n̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞.”
Rosie pointed an accusatory finger as Alastor’s voice shifted. “Don’t you snip at me, young man. You came here for advice and I’d like to give it without the worry of losing some part of me.”
“Then take it back.”
“I’m not silencing the truth.”
Alastor let out a hiss before turning his back to the other. Eyes widely looking around, as if he’d find the solution to all his problems in the room. He tried not to flinch as hands gently took one of his own to steer him back to the chair. Head bowed as he sat down, cup handed to him.
Rosie only claimed her chair once more when he didn’t break anything. “You can’t block this out.”
“I-”
“You already had your time for your tantrum. Now, you’re going to listen to me with that mouth shut.” She huffed, taking another sip before continuing.
“I think you’ve been lying to yourself this entire time. Your interest with Vox goes past just a ‘friendship’ or ‘companionship’. It’s something even deeper than what we share. You’ve just hidden it from yourself as a way to preserve what you think you want. Or deserve. There’s never been a challenge of questioning what you two shared because he gave you his world and you took it. Without a thought or worry as to what it could all mean.”
“Then this Valentino character shows up and you feel threatened. I’m not going to ask what the other demon did, because I know it’s more than just a sales pitch that pissed you off. But what you do see is a threat. To whatever you and Vox have.”
Alastor gripped the armrest. “...I don’t think I can explain it.”
“Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news on that front, but you’re going to need to figure it out. Because Vox is going to want an explanation and he deserves one.”
“...Say that I do…you know.”
“Can’t hear you over your whining.”
Alastor growled, “If I do love him, what am I supposed to do? I…don’t want to have that connection with someone.”
“Then you need to decide if you’re okay with letting Vox go. Because your attitude today shows that you’re not that much of a fan of anyone coming too close to him. But you can’t make that barrier for him if it means you can’t be honest as to why you’re keeping him for yourself. Either let him know, or let him go.”
Neither of those options seemed to settle Alastor’s worries.
He should just be able to let Vox go. Why not? Wasn’t that what he wanted for so long? To let that walking TV depart from his life to Alastor could return back to the quiet he’d been so comfortable with. That was what he wanted…when he didn’t really know Vox.
When the other demon had been just an annoying nuisance in Alastor’s life that couldn’t just take the hint. Now, however, it was a different story. Because having Vox leave meant returning to a life where it was just him and…somehow…in some way…
The thought terrified him.
Maybe he could fall back into the old routine he held. He’d done it for years before Vox arrived in Hell, surely it wouldn’t be that hard to do once more.
“Don’t lie to yourself, just because you believe the old was a comfort.” Rosie offered as calming advice.
“...I think I should leave.” Placing the cup down, Alastor didn’t wait to hear Rosie’s farewells before he was sinking into the floor. The shadows embracing him.
The sinners on the street provided a very clear path around the Radio Demon as he practically stalked the streets. Alastor wasn’t looking for someone or heading for a particular place. He just needed to move. Hoping the constant feeling of moving forward would help pull him from the fog.
It was a frustrating situation that honestly held an easy solution.
Alastor couldn’t deny that he’d allowed Vox far closer than he should have been comfortable with. Just the metaphorical idea of pulling away made Alastor’s stomach churn far worse than what he currently felt. So, remaining was the better outcome.
Yet, would Vox approve? To become beyond the companionship, the friendship, they’d built. For how long Alastor has put up his barriers, would Vox now be receptive to moving forward in a different direction? It was clear the Media Overlord did have an infatuation with Alastor, even if said demon fought against it for so long…
But wasn’t Alastor entitled to have a new chapter in his afterlife? Shouldn’t he allow himself the grace to try?
How cruel fate could be.
Because he knew he couldn’t manage that.
He knew Vox deserved someone who wasn’t a chore to…care for.
So he hid away.
Hid away from Vox.
Never rising to any calls or pleas that eventually turned into hostel threats and challenges.
If asked, Alastor claimed he had better things to do. And he did.
Anything that would make Vox hate him or forget him.
Anything to keep that space between them.
Alastor truly thought he could have something as meaningful down here.
What an idiot he was.
Then, he became lost.
Lost for 7 years.
Leaving behind a disoriented, broken, and confused Vox to wonder where he’d disappeared to.
______________________________
Well, perhaps he’ll know better when going against an angel to not stand directly in front of them, defenses lowered, when they were still on the attack.
Hand delicately placed against his chest, doing a horrible job of keeping his blood in, Alastor slunk back to his radio tower. It was broken into pieces. The only large part still kept intact was where his equipment lied. The rest nothing more that splintered wood with broken glass and wires littered everywhere.
Opening the trapdoor was a little tricky. Given the fact he was only doing it with one hand and it was stuck at an odd angle. But Alastor was able to get it eventually. Panting weakly as he shuffled his way over to the controls to collapse at the base of them.
He wasn’t going to die.
It didn’t matter how much pain he was in, how much blood he’d lost, how much it hurt to breathe, or that he wanted nothing more than to pass out. He was better than that. He was the Radio Demon. One who held his own against an angel, Adam out of all of them, and still survived. Even if other demon’s felt brave enough to mock them, Alastor could hold that above their heads. That at least he fought and lived to talk about it.
Which he would say before eating the idiotic souls that tried to challenge him.
For the moment, however, Alastor just needed quiet. A quiet calm to let himself slowly heal before he joined back with the others and-
Alastor tensed when the trap door was opened once more. Following the sharp action with a quiet curse. He sat up further in hopes to look somewhat intimidating or put together. Depending on who was coming through that opening. If it was an angel, he needed to be on the defensive. Someone from the Hotel, then it was more of a performance to show he was doing just fine.
He was startled to find it was neither option.
Vox, breathless and looking anxious, climbed his way through. Wide eyes landing on Alastor, who could only stare back in slight surprise.
“...Ah… Hello there.” Was all Alastor could muster.
That seemed to break Vox out of whatever turmoil he was dealing with as he let out a snort the next second. His regular smug face appeared back on screen. Yet Alastor could still see a bit through the cracks…
“Well, you look like Hell. What happened to you? Fight an angel and get your ass handed to you?” Vox replied.
“At least I was willing to fight against one. Unlike your business partner who could only talk a really big talk…” Alastor hissed as he tried to sit up further.
“Hey, I only wanted to look into security. Velvette has her own way of sorting out what information people know.”
“We see where that got her. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to lick my wounds in privacy.” Alastor let out a pained hiss as his attempt to stand amounted for nothing. His free arm unable to support himself and he slid back down. He allowed a few seconds to try and catch his breath, eyes stuck to the broken ceiling to avoid looking at the other demon.
“Well, what is it? Are you here to torture me physically or verbally? Or maybe just a straight up slaughter. Adam did the majority of the work for you. Very like you, wouldn’t it be? To try and take all the glory once someone’s done the work for you. Shameful. Did you purposefully change your outfit to reflect mine? I’ve been gone for so long and I still, somehow, take up so much of your mind. You truly are pathetic-”
Alastor winced as his hands were pinned to his sides. Eyes narrowing as Vox positions himself a little too comfortably over the other’s hip. The Media Overlord gave his own glare back as the silence stretched before them.
“...I could break out of this.” Alastor snipped back.
“Do it.” Vox challenged.
“I could tear you apart without lifting a finger.”
“Do it.”
“I could show you how pathetic you really are-”
“Ｔ𝓱𝑒𝐍 𝓭Ø Ɨ𝐓.”
Alastor should not have been taken so aback by those words said in that way. His own comeback died on his tongue as he stared up at Vox as his face twisted into a deep frown. The Media Overlord’s right eye flaring up.
When he didn’t receive a reply back, Vox’s face returned to its more calming setting before saying, “I’m going to let one hand go. Can you promise not to swipe at me.”
“...No.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Even with the rather weak deterrent, Alastor didn’t even twitch as Vox made good on his words. Red eyes watching as the other’s hand reached up…and moved to the top most button of his torn shirt.
Using whatever strength he could muster, Alastor attempted to push the other away. A growl escaping from him when his latching out was proved useless. Vox wasted no time in pinning the Radio Demon’s hands above him.
“Would you stop being an idiot!” Vox hissed.
“How strange to hear those words come from your mouth. That statement is normally reserved for you!” Hands no longer an option, Alastor resorted to biting the hand as it drew closer once more.
“Fucking- Stop it, I’m trying to help!”
“Why on any of the 7 Rings of Hell should I believe those words? You have no reason to, yet every reason to do away with me. Why keep me around? Clearly your meager existence was better when I wasn’t here. So make it permanent. Why wait any longer? Do it! Deliver the final blow and strike me down! E̳̿͟͞N̳̿͟͞D̳̿͟͞ T̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞S̳̿͟͞!”
That final outburst took it all away. Leaving Alastor leaning against the soundboard side, gasping for air as he stared up at Vox. Who looked unimpressed with it all.
“Well, now that your temper tantrum is over.” Vox said this as if this was a normal routine. Hand going back to the torn shirt to undo it properly. Enough so that he was able to get a clearer look over the deep gash.
Alastor, on his part, could only sit and wait. Wait for Vox to pull out an angelic weapon that no doubt littered the front lawn of the hotel and stab him. Wait for Vox to just plunge his hand into Alastor's chest and tear out every part of his insides out to paint the floor red. Wait for said hand to slide up to wrap around Alastor’s throat to deprive him of the air he was still urgently taking in.
But none of that happened.
Instead, Alastor let out a hiss of pain instead of anger as a burning sensation was felt on his chest. Looking down to watch as the gash slowly closed itself back up, a faint blue light outlining said wound. It was over quicker than he expected. The area not fully healed, still a deep red but far better than it was before. Leaving Alastor feeling a little more awake and Vox…looking pale.
The Media Overlord leaned back enough to no longer keep the other trapped. Gracelessly falling back onto the damaged floor as his screen dimmed further. A few warnings of ‘Low Battery’ and ‘System Reboot Needed’ occasionally flashing before disappearing just as fast as they had arrived.
Alastor, on his part, ran a newly freed hand over the area. It was still extremely sore, but no longer bleeding, even appearing to be nothing more than an angry scar. The disbelief must have been written all over his face, as Alastor heard Vox let out a weak chuckle. Looking up to find the Media Overlord staring back at him.
“Don’t crash on my Bambi… I think only one of us needs to be close to passing out.”
“...Why would you do this?”
“Why not.”
“...I could kill you in the state that you are.”
“Would you? If that was the case, you’d have done it already…”
“Do you have a death wish?”
“For a while now, yeah…kind of.” They both jumped when Vox suddenly let out a rather violent twitch, screen glitching before going dark. Said demon letting out a small groan. “Okay…maybe I used more than I thought I had…”
Letting out a small huff of annoyance, Alastor shifted himself until he could lay next to the other. Feeling Vox twitch away slightly when their hands brushed together. No doubt more surprised by the sudden feeling than threatened with Alastor being so close suddenly.
“...I saw your stupid little…flying camera things.” Alastor eventually said.
Vox let out a weak laugh, “My security drones?”
“Drones, that’s what they’re called? Are they named after the way you talk? Droning on and on about things no one cares about.”
“Hey, I didn’t name them… A sinner brought the idea to me.”
The Radio Demon hummed, “Brought to you or that you overheard and killed so they couldn’t market the idea?”
“What do you think?”
Even with the situation they were in, both laying on the floor to recover from their own wounds, with the small want of being nowhere near the other demon, Alastor had to admit. This was…nice. Trading insults with no venom as if no time had really passed between them. When his radio tower was a grand structure on its own in the dense forest, allowing Vox to rant about whatever happened at work while Alastor pretended to not listen.
A good memory.
A…calming memory.
“You fucking left me.”
Alastor’s ear twitched, turning his head to look at the Media Overlord. Vox’s screen was still dark. But with how his body was tensed, Alastor knew they were reaching a boiling over point. One that had no doubt been rising for all these years.
“You left me… At the party, alone in this Hellscape… I looked for you…for 7 years. Do you know that? I spent 7 years building up my empire. Becoming stronger. Becoming my own Overlord with hundreds of contracts in my control. All because of you. Because when you left…” Vox’s voice became garbled for a moment and he fell silent.
Alastor remained quiet as well. Remembering a time, long ago, when Vox had explained a large downside to his new form. That strangely comfortable release when someone could let go of their sadness. Vox had been devoid of that. He still needed to eat, to breath, to drink. Yet that liberating feeling of letting sadness fully consume oneself was gone.
He’d become familiar with that sound from the Media Overlord’s voice. Alastor had heard it numerous times on days that Vox had just too much on his plate or something fell through and became a detriment to his plans.
Back then, Alastor hadn’t thought much of it. How trying to openly let out such a weak state of emotion in front of anyone in Hell would be seen as an opportunity to strike. But he never did. All he’d done was allow Vox to scream, shout, even destroy a few things. Then letting him collapse onto the nearest chair as the feeling continued to grow with no way out. The younger demon clawed at his chest as if that would yield the result he desired.
And how Alastor, the demon who was repulsed by touch from anyone, would place a hand on Vox’s shoulder. Or lay an arm across them. Even at some point allowing the other to lean against him. As if offering a small form of shelter from the storm.
Now here they were again. Alastor only able to watch as Vox struggled.
“...You shouldn’t have looked for me,” Alastor said softly, “It wasn’t worth it…”
“It was for me.” Vox shot back, voice still a mess.
“You had your own life to live, it shouldn’t have revolved around me. It should never revolve around anyone.”
“Fuck you.”
“Vox-”
“You don’t get to make that decision, not on your own. …Did I make you angry? You left at that party. I know we fought but we both said stupid things and I thought it would just blow over. But you kept… You avoided me, lashed out and… Fuck, Alastor, I couldn’t breath, I was so confused and you wouldn’t let me talk. Then I heard sinners calling us rivals and I knew I said nothing about it so assumed you had. With everything…”
“You should hate me.”
“I do…but for the wrong reasons, I think… I just hate that you left me there… Then you fucking disappear.”
Alastor’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. “...It wasn’t my intention.”
“If you had stayed, would anything have changed?”
“No.”
“...Well, at least you were honest…”
“If you’re angry at me, why are you here?”
“Just because you hate me doesn’t mean I want to hate you. I freaked out when I saw you get hit. I would have been here sooner, honestly, but Val and Velvette held me back. Said rushing over was a stupid idea. They were kind of right. …I know you like your privacy and whatnot. Your mysterious air… If you want me to keep playing this role of rival, I will. Good thing to focus my anger on…I guess. I just…I wanted to know you were okay.”
Alastor didn’t respond. Eyes widening slightly, ears even tense as he heard Vox’s voice say those words. They hurt. Hearing out loud, from someone other than himself, it felt wrong. It’s as if Vox had said the words that had been resting on Alastor’s shoulders for so long.
Because, in some way, Alastor had been doing the same thing.
If he really wanted to keep Vox away, Alastor would have just disappeared to begin with. On his own terms. He wouldn’t have felt the need to rise and snap out his views against Vox. Alastor had no need to make their falsely created rivalry such a spectacle. At the time, he’d just assumed it was because he was trying to show off. To show his life could continue on like nothing was wrong. An act. A performance.
In reality, it was his way to make sure Vox was okay. That the other demon could remain on his own two feet without Alastor always being there. The small verbal fights were nothing more than Alastor checking in. A way to see how much Vox was building his empire and himself. To watch from the shadows as Vox strived in creating what he deserved. All without allowing the other the chance to ever get that close again.
Alastor didn’t hide physically. He tried to hide emotionally.
And suddenly…he stopped wanting to try. To hide what he thought wasn’t meant to be his.
Because he was Alastor, the Radio Demon, and if he wanted someone, he was allowed to take them. Without the fear of what others thought.
Vox’s screen flickered on when the air around him moved quickly. Having a moment of worry that he’d crossed a line and Alastor was finally done with him. Only to pause as the Radio Demon was now leaning over him. Smile tense and eyes narrowed.
“...Alastor-”
“I don’t want that.”
Vox blinked, “Don’t…want what?”
“I don’t want to play a role. I don’t want to be rivals, or to feel the need to fight you, or trade insults with the purpose to hurt you or me or…whatever. I…don’t want to go back to any of that. I don’t want to hate you… I never hated you.”
“...Then what was that all about?”
“...There were…certain things happening at the time that I was not…comfortable with facing.”
“You were scared.”
Alastor let out a low growl before covering it with a cough. “That is one way to put it, I suppose. I pushed because… I like control. This…feeling, this was not control. So, I did what I thought I had to do. I controlled the situation I had before.”
“You pushed people away?”
“Well, no, I actually killed them.”
“Oh, well, I’m glad you went with the physical distance and not the spiritual distance.”
Alastor raised a brow, “I thought you could take me in a fight? Was that not one of your claims? That I was so old that I could break a hip or something trying to land the first hit?”
“Hey, that’s still a legitimate concern!” Vox argued back with a smirk, “But back then? No, no way could I have. I would have just been a gnat you could swipe at and do me in. Now…well, you might have knowledge, but I’m pretty sure I have you beat in strength.”
“Oh, do you now? Because that head of yours makes for a good target.”
“Oi! My head is awesome! Sleek in design and able to hold so much information. You’re just- You just wished you looked this good. Unlike you, still stuck with the pinstriped suites? ”
“I thought you liked me in these?”
“I mean, if anyone could pull off the look, it would be you. Doesn’t make it look any less ridiculous.”
“I should teach you to respect your elders.”
“Ha! You just admitted you were old!” Either from being delirious with how much energy he’d lost or really thinking he was that funny, Vox devolved into a small fit of laughter. Starting off strong before devolving into small giggles and snorts.
All the while, Alastor just watched and listened. Only pulled from his trance when Vox finally calmed down, looking up to the Radio Demon with a smile Alastor had not seen in years.
And that squirming feeling in his stomach was back…
Vox’s smile fell to a look of surprise when Alastor leaned down to claim his lips in a kiss. The shock wore off slower than he meant for it to, causing Vox to scramble slightly in wrapping his arms around the other in case Alastor took the wrong idea. The Media Overlord even getting a little brave to gently run his fingers through the other’s hair.
When the kiss ended, neither pulled away that far. Alastor eventually laying across the other, making sure not to stick anything with his antlers. Both allowing the moment to play in their minds once more.
“...This doesn’t fix everything.” Vox whispered.
“I’m aware of that,” Alastor replied, “I suppose I have a lot to make up for… But I’m hoping those aren’t words saying this can’t work.”
“No, just that…it’s going to be hard moving forward. For a lot of reasons.”
“...I can wait.”
Days later, when the hotel was rebuilt and all wounds (known and unknown) were healed up, Alastor was given a box by Niffty. The maid happily claimed she’d found it on the front steps of the hotel, only holding the Radio Demon’s name. Eagerly leaning forward as she waited for the other to open it. Only to be disappointed when Alastor retreated to his room to have some privacy.
The box didn’t hold anything that would make Alastor worry it was some kind of trap or anything to be worried about. Sitting at his dining table, he turned it over a few times in his hands before tearing the paper away and opening the box.
Inside was a familiar wooden deer figure. Now complete, the small form resting in a field, all of it a beautiful dark wood that shined from the varnish. Absolutely stunned, Alstor’s eyes roamed over every detail he could find and take in. Sitting in warm silence as he held the small creation in his hand. Only pulling away when something else shifted in the box. Reaching in once more to pull out a folded letter.
‘If it makes you feel better, somehow, you’re the only one who knows about this. If you want- If you’d like, I can show you what else I’ve made. Just let me know, okay?’
- Vox
Well, how could Alastor say no to that?
#radiostatic#radiostatic week 2024#staticradio#voxal#alastor x vox#vox x alastor#hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#vox hazbin hotel#s-creations#fanfiction#i'm so late with getting this up#i'm just happy that it's up#XD
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Rocky Horror Stage Show Review
As a glance at my blog will tell you, I rarely post about “Rocky Horror” as it’s not my main fandom, but I’ve loved it for 30 years and have just attended a stage show for the first time since the 90s so am writing down my thoughts for my own benefit and sharing here.
I was aware that the current production is somewhat different both from the film and the stage show I saw back in 1994 starring Jonathon Morris. (Yes, I am a Gen Xer and was heartened to see how many others in my age bracket attended, many in costume.)
If anyone’s curious, this was the earlier Friday performance at Wolverhampton Grand Theatre in the UK.
I’ll get the negative part out of the way first and it’s nothing to do with the actual show. Unfortunately there was someone near me who had an ongoing argument with someone who was with her throughout the show and at times it interfered with my enjoyment. (It definitely wasn’t audience participation; I know the difference.)
She carried on doing it after the interval despite being spoken to by staff. During Columbia’s emotional “I loved you!” speech, “Toucha-toucha-touch me” and other quieter parts it spoiled it a bit for me. After the show ended a bloke in full Frank drag told her off publicly for “being an arsehole” and I'm afraid to say she deserved it. If you’re not interested in a show, stay at home and don’t ruin it for the rest of us.
Science Fiction, Double Feature
I love this song and the Usherette’s actress performed it well, getting into the spirit of things straight away with stockings and wiggles.
Dammit Janet
Another really catchy song and the actors handled it well. They both have strong singing voices which is good as I have seen a Brad who wasn’t that great in that respect.
The Narrator’s first appearance was amusing as he ad-libbed in response to the standard insults thrown at Brad and Janet: “They can hear you, you know!” (The actors were currently frozen onstage so he could do his bit and he joked they weren’t allowed to move or there would be dire punishments.)
The Narrator was a highlight throughout - it really does improve on the film version when the pompous character is actually in on the joke and interacting.
Over At The Frankenstein Place
Well performed again and I enjoyed the audience holding up coloured lights to accompany it. Riff-Raff’s first appearance got so much applause he just started singing right over it.
The majority of the audience seemed to have seen the show before or at least the film although the Narrator did jokily “spoil” them with his line “Stranger than a sex-crazed transvestite from outer space - whoops, spoilers!”
A word on the audience callbacks which have of course been a staple since the 70s. There was a reasonable amount but not too much. I have seen shows which were closer to the film and people would yell after almost every line which got a bit much so this was just about right.
Our hapless couple enter the Castle and are immediately surrounded by Riff Raff, Magenta and Columbia who play it more as pantomime villains than in the film but this doesn’t bother me as theatre doesn’t have close-ups and needs to play to the gallery. The Eddie plotline is hinted at and then of course it’s…
The Time Warp
What can I say about this one? Always a showstopper and had everyone on their feet. Brilliant. Columbia got to do her tap solo which was a highlight as it is in the film. And we’ve barely recovered from that before…
Sweet Transvestite
Woohoo. Frank’s actor was great, as charismatic and confident as you need to be for that part. He embraced the sensual nature of the role and had physical interactions with practically everyone, even Dr Scott and in the encore, the Narrator by ripping aside his trousers to reveal stockings and suspenders.
The lab scene whizzes by and soon it’s Rocky’s entrance with…
The Sword Of Damocles
Thoughts on Rocky’s characterisation - of course in the film they went for a non-actor who was well-muscled as required for the role and had him only speak when singing. I actually think Peter Hinwood’s performance works really well as the whole point of Rocky is that he’s just been born and everything is new to him.
But in the stage show Rocky speaks and is more openly rebellious, even telling Frank to piss off twice. This tends to mean casting a professional actor who isn’t as muscular as Frank’s dialogue implies but that wasn’t an issue here - the actor had both acting chops and muscles. The relationship between Rocky and Frank is a lot closer to equal.
Rocky compliments Frank on his “good job with the bodywork” and we go into…
I Can Make You A Man
I’m going to be honest, this is probably my least favourite “RH” song which isn’t to say I don’t like it. I just don’t share Frank’s muscle fetish. But it was well staged and leads into one of my favourites…
Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?
This song rocks hard and Eddie’s actor did it justice. Not sure it got quite as much applause as it deserved but I get it - we’ve just met him, he’s taken the focus off Frank and is about to be unceremoniously killed for that. I adore the way the film stages the song with all the Transylvanians rocking out too.
So Frank chases Eddie offstage with a chainsaw and returns to reprise “I Can Make You A Man”. I’ll add here that as far as I’m concerned, no production which includes this blatantly queer, unashamedly lustful song is in danger of becoming too “mainstream”. Frank was all over Rocky, complete with gyrating. Even this audience which were certainly the most tolerant in that respect that I’ve been in still reacted to the stronger parts. Mostly with approval though.
I realise that things have changed since the 90s in that respect and as an elder queer myself, it warms my heart. I do think it’s partly that the plot of “Rocky Horror” is better known now. And thank God for that as I don’t need to be in another audience who apparently thought they’d come to watch “The Sound Of Music” and nearly walked out.
After the interval, it’s directly into the bedroom seduction scenes which are staged a bit differently from the film and earlier stage shows - we go straight into (strongly) implied oral sex with first Janet and then Brad, both of whom only then find out that it’s Frank rather than their fiance / fiancee respectively. After which both agree to more sex without too much persuasion needed, as long as Frank doesn’t tell anyone.
All I’m going to say is that “Rocky Horror” has always been problematic. It’s basically an X-rated panto and taking it seriously is kind of missing the point. I enjoy analyses of it though. But when you’re watching it live the music tends to override all that as it’s such a good time.
The production manages to make the Frank / Brad sex scene even more gay by having Riff Raff pop up next to them. Nothing happens as he’s just there to tell Frank that Rocky’s loose but for a second you think there’ll be a m/m/m threesome. Which would of course fit the undercurrent in both show and film that Riff Raff at least is attracted to Frank if maybe not vice versa.
I hope I’m remembering this next part in sequence. Janet enters the lab feeling guilty and upset and meets Rocky who’s hiding from Frank (the aforementioned woman who wouldn’t shut up meant I missed part of the dialogue and it differs from the film. Grrr).
I think Rocky says something to raise Janet’s suspicions so she uses the monitor to search the Castle’s rooms and gets an eyeful of Frank and Brad getting it on. I’ve never been clear as to whether her hypocritical shock is due to the fact that Brad’s having gay sex whereas she had straight sex but at least it leads to another of my faves…
Touch-a touch-a touch me
I love this in the film and it was well done here. My only quibble is that Magenta and Columbia were up in the rafters and just provided a chorus rather than the full-on sapphic frisson which Patricia Quinn and Little Nell treat us to in the film. But I guess it would be hard to make that work on stage.
Exit Janet and Rocky, enter Brad who also uses the monitor and sees his beloved with Rocky. I’m not sure how much emotional sense it makes for him to then launch into…
Once In A While
But I don’t care because this was actually a highlight which it’s never been before in stage productions I’ve seen. I understand it being cut from the film as it would have killed the momentum stone dead.
But in this frantically paced stage production it’s a welcome quiet moment and as I said before, Brad’s actor had the voice to pull it off without the Narrator needing to take the piss out of him to keep audience interest.
Oddly though, Janet reappears in the rafters and sings along with the latter part of the song which makes no sense since she’s supposed to be shagging Rocky right now. I suppose it’s a way to indicate she’s having second thoughts about wrecking her relationship which fits how the show leaves Janet and Brad, hinting they’ll reconcile.
Followed by Frank whipping Riff Raff (offstage of course, they don’t want to cause actual bodily harm to an actor) for letting Rocky escape and wailing about Rocky’s betrayal as he finds it out via that extremely convenient plot device, the monitor. Via which they also notice Dr Scott’s arrival.
Once Scott’s inside, Rocky and Janet reappear and we get that hilarious repeated “Janet!” “Dr Scott!” etc exchange which was milked for maximum humour, ending in Rocky telling Frank to piss off which was a bit jarring for me being such a film aficionado. Although Hinwood’s glare does kind of imply that.
Dr Scott brings up Eddie and rather than the film’s “unknowing cannibalism” scene we just get the actors passing a joint of meat around and pantomiming shock which is fine by me as that bit is gross, let’s face it.
It’s like that meme - I can excuse murder, very dubious consent and incest but I draw the line at cannibalism. Nah, just kidding, it doesn’t bother me that much.
Eddie’s Teddy
A nice ensemble number which I don’t have much to say about. Fine.
Planet Schmanet Janet
Good song which delivers the necessary exposition regarding the Floor Show, followed by Columbia snapping and confronting Frank about how he uses people but instead of getting frozen as in the film she’s hit with drugged gas and has a lengthy trip played for laughs.
Not sure about this change as surely it’s enough to have her frozen like the others to explain her continued participation. It changes the situation from Columbia voluntarily staying in the Castle even though she knows Frank doesn’t love her to her actively deciding to leave until she’s hit with the gas. Not keen.
Having frozen everyone except Magenta and Riff Raff, Frank reacts to her question about when they’ll return to Transylvania by saying their loyalty will be rewarded and this is interestingly different from the film. He says “You will discover that when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous” and pulls at her legs (she’s seated) in a way which makes it blindingly obvious he means sexually.
Her retort “I ask for nothing, Master” happens as Riff Raff chases Frank away from her in an obvious nod to their incestuous relationship (yes, we do get the “My most beautiful sister” line). I really didn’t get the sense that Magenta has any sexual interest in Frank even in this production let alone in the film. Riff Raff, on the other hand, is jealous as hell of him but also wants him. (Although I was seated to the far side so may have missed some nuances.)
So, to the Floor Show. “Rose Tint My World” is such a banger. It was beautifully staged with stunning costumes and lighting as Columbia, Rocky, Brad and finally Janet pop through the curtains in their basques, stockings and suspenders in rapid succession for their solo verses and then Frank makes his starring entrance for “Don’t Dream It, Be It” and “Wild And Untamed Thing”. Love it.
Then of course Riff Raff and Magenta crash the party and Frank pleads for his life with “I’m Going Home” which was sung and performed beautifully and again, got so much applause that the actors had to talk over it.
Frank takes the time during it to have affectionate moments with all four of his most recent paramours which is a nice touch, especially as he seems genuinely upset when Columbia tries to shield him from Riff Raff and is mercilessly shot dead. For a moment at least, then self-preservation takes over. But in vain, and he and Rocky also die. I’m sentimental (sorry Magenta, don’t kill me) so I like the confirmation that Rocky clearly did feel something for Frank even if he was scared of him.
Riff Raff orders Dr Scott to leave but not Brad and Janet. Clearly an oversight somewhere as the Castle takes off into space in an impressive special effects explosion and there they still are to perform “Super Heroes”. They first walk away from each other then change their minds, hug and walk off together, hinting all is not lost for their relationship.
The sweetly melancholy tone continues for the “Science Fiction, Double Feature” reprise. But like the film, they’re nice enough to leave us on a higher note, in this instance by bringing the whole cast back onstage for an encore of the “Time Warp” (this time including Frank which I love) and part of “Sweet Transvestite”.
Excellent decision both to leave us on a musically upbeat note and to (sort of) fix the ending which does kind of fit the “Kill your gays” trope. I know that’s because the show is a celebration of old sci-fi films which usually did kill anyone even remotely like Frank but these days, who cares how awful he is if considered realistically? He’s not real, he’s literally an alien and there is no reason he has to die except for drama, so bring him back at the end. He’s too good to waste.
So that’s it. I had a great time and as always loved the inclusive atmosphere.
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Absolutely no pressure if it really does make you uncomfortable to talk about but I would LOVE to hear about why dramione pisses you off... first and foremost because I'm a card-carrying dramione hater and there's nothing quite as enjoyable as a fellow hater articulating their haterade. Please. I'm handing you the mic. Go to town. (If you want!)
thank you very much for the ask, anon - and it's very sweet of you to ask whether dramione makes me sincerely uncomfortable [it doesn't, and if there's ever a day when i find harry potter shipping preferences that deep i shall face god and walk backwards into hell]. i subscribe to one belief in fandom above all others - that you can write yourself into, and out of, the most nonsensical premises if you are willing to engage with your characters in their full spectrum and if you have enough nerve. which is to say, there is almost certainly dramione out there that i would regard as interesting and well done, which feels coherent as a premise within which to situate both hermione and draco's canon selves, and which does so by being unsparing in how it deals with the whole "he thinks she's literally subhuman" thing...
but the reason i don't like dramione as a pairing is because i've never actually seen it done in a way that actually is interesting.
i'm on the record as a straightforward hater of fanon!hermione - the preternaturally perfect, incandescently beautiful "brightest witch of her age" [lupin means by this - please, i am begging you all to understand - that she's clever for a fourteen-year-old, not that she's some sort of epoch-defining intellect] who makes you wonder if we've all forgotten the early-00s flame wars over mary-sues. i am also on the record as a hater of the classic draco-in-leather-pants version of the other half of our pairing - draco is an insecure, pointy little dickhead whose jokes always flop, and he is so much more fun in this form than he is as the suavest man alive.
and, obviously, dramione is famous for being beholden to these characterisations [something, if i may, which is really letting harmony and snamione off the hook...]. and that is just so boring! even in a setting in which an author doesn't want to deal with the context of blood-supremacist prejudice - and good for them! why not! - i would much rather see fics think interestingly about how mashing draco and hermione's personalities together would actually go. how would he handle her constant need to debate things? how would she handle his fits of crippling jealousy? how would he handle her stubbornness? how would she handle his self-interestedness?
and i think something quite striking could actually come of this... as i've noted elsewhere, draco's narrative mirror is ron, who is obviously a ride-or-die hermione stan, and there is - therefore - a way set out within the arc of canon for thinking about how hermione and draco might interact. it could be a genuinely fantastic piece of enemies-to-lovers fun, but this would involve both hermione and draco's canonical characteristics being thought about [and harry and ron's: the former always seems to come around to dramione really quickly, while the latter is written as a death-eater-adjacent boor who doesn't want the woman who "belongs to him" to be happy], and i'm afraid that the vast, vast majority of dramione writing seems to have no interest in doing this when "just make him suave and her perfect" exists...
but, of course, there is a second major objection which i know many people have to dramione: that he is a member of a terrorist organisation which believes in eradicating people like her, and that he believes wholeheartedly in that organisation's beliefs.
and my feelings about this are more complicated.
because, to be frank, as someone who has - only this week - written harry having a sensual little snog with his parents' murderer, i can't really get up on my high-horse about people shipping the heroes with the villains. and, indeed, i won't - another fandom [and life!] principle i have is that the potential of redemption for everybody is one of the most important things about humanity; that even the most evil people can repent and repent sincerely; and that love is strange and unpredictable.
i do think something interesting could be done with draco having to unlearn literally everything about his life, and with both him and hermione grappling with their personal limits when it came to remorse and forgiveness as they realise that, against all the odds and no matter the heavy weight of the past, they want to make something together. but, once again, the standard move in dramione seems to be a sort of "nooo, he didn't really mean it!" or a "hermione gets over it immediately because he didn't rat them out when the snatchers caught them!" [no - he didn't rat harry out. he doesn't seem to have a problem with hermione getting tortured by bellatrix...] or a "well harry using sectumsempra means i'm over the fact he called me a mudblood" or "uwu he was sixteen". and, once again, i think it's dull!
and this, of course, brings us to the other category of dramione - the one in which she's a dirty little fucktoy for a sadistic pureblood lord. while this is at its worst in other hermione/death eater ships, we've all seen the fics: hermione is given to draco as a forced bride; hermione is given to draco as a sex slave; hermione is given to draco to be degraded etc.
i have no moral objection to people wanting to read and write this stuff, because i'm neither a cop nor a priest. my objection, once again, is that this is dull.
i think there is something really, really interesting which could be done with draco finding himself attracted to hermione despite what he's been raised to believe about her, above all for the way this could be used to play with the gendered dynamic we might expect to find when this trope is used.
discrimination is justified by societies - again and again throughout the course of history - with the claim that it protects women [and men's claim to them]. we can imagine easily that this is the same in the wizarding world because voldemort literally tells us so - in the opening chapter of deathly hallows he explicitly equates tonks' marriage to lupin as the cause of the "rot" in the black family tree, before he goes on to murder charity burbage while accusing her of supporting miscegenation.
what we see less frequently is the idea that men need to be protected from the other - societies are much more amenable to seeing men's behaviour as hypocrisy [and tolerating this] rather than moral corruption, and we can assume in the wizarding world that it would be perfectly acceptable for a pureblood man to have a muggleborn mistress or a half-blood love-child in a way it never would be for a pureblood woman.
so how does draco justify his attraction to hermione to himself? how does he keep her a secret? how does he think of women more generally, if he has a pureblood wife at home and a muggleborn woman he cheats on her with? does he see nothing contradictory about sneaking off into broom cupboards and then strutting into the slytherin common room and telling pansy parkinson that hermione is a digusting mudblood dog?
or, does he get the other side of the coin? do lucius and narcissa think he's being corrupted? is his temptation all-consuming? will he lie about hermione attacking him to save face? will he turn on the tears and place her in unimaginable danger and then feel only the slightest hint of regret?
and i just think that has so much more potential than your standard "draco's sadistic but, more importantly, he's hot" stuff.
because i will read things that are objectively baffling if they are, at least, interesting. dramione nation, i'm begging you... just be interesting.
#asks answered#asenora's opinions on ships#hermione granger#draco malfoy#i'm not tagging the ship tag for obvious reasons#but also i'm not tagging the anti tag because this ended up being nicer than i was expecting...#i contain multitudes
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As I mentioned in a previous post, I had a baby this summer! It was an incredibly joyful time, but also a little scary, because she was born 7 weeks early. I promise, I am going to get to the fandom part of this soon!
During the first week that she was in the NICU, I was seized by this fear that if, God forbid, something happened to her or to me, she wouldn't know how much she was loved. I was desperate for any way to communicate that to her. It was not rational. There were a lot of hormones involved. But it felt so important. It still does.
And so I brought to the NICU @pandamomentum's beautiful bound version of So Wise We Grow, and I read to my daughter from it. This part:
“Do you anticipate having children, someday?” Spock asks suddenly – he is unsure of what prompts him to do so.
“It is certainly my wish to do so,” Storek replies, without hesitation. “I have always enjoyed the company of children – you know that I often babysit Lieutenant Uhura’s twins – and when I find a suitable partner, I look forward to revisiting that enjoyment, with children of my own.” Storek arches an eyebrow of his own, and looks at his father. “At which time I will indubitably experience all the agonies to which I have subjected you and Captain Kirk for so many years. Revenge, I suspect, will be most satisfactory for the both of you.”
“And the joys,” Spock says, so quietly that Storek must lean forward to catch it.
“What?”
“I urge you not to forget the joys,” Spock says, still quietly, but with as much feeling as he can muster. “I find, when I think of the events of the past seven years, that they are what first comes to mind.”
I wanted her to know that, 14 years before she was even born, I loved her, and wanted her, and was thinking about what my life with her would be like. She didn't understand the words, of course. But, hopefully, the love came through.
She's doing marvelously now, thank God. And someday, she will understand the words. Fandom gives us many things, and one of the things it's given me is a record of 15 years of my dreams and preoccupations--which, for me, is 15 years of kidfic and stories about characters whose longing for parenthood is central to who they are. (That's not all I wrote about for 15 years! But it's a pretty obvious throughline.) If there comes a time when I'm not around to tell her how much she was wanted and how long she was loved, my past self can tell her over and over and over again.
So, thank you, fandom. Thank you for giving me the stories I read and re-read to keep my spirits up in the hospital. A special thank you to @pandamomentum for making the book that carried my love - yeah, I could have read from my laptop but it wouldn't have been the same. And thank you, fandom, for giving me the tools and the art form and the community that have allowed me to write a record of my heart. ❤️
#fandom#personal#my writing#I'm not done btw!#I know this post has kind of a farewell-y tone but I promise I am still writing 😂#while the Deastarling sleeps#as she is doing right now#next to me and making cute little snoring noises 🥰
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20 Questions More
This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks to @TetsujinOtaku88 for the tag. I'm doing this #Supercorp style.
1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom?
I think the Supercorp Fandom is pretty self-perpetuating because the canon needs to be fixed and there's lots of AUs to put them in. Plus there are so many talented people whose art, video edits, and fanfic fuel each other.
2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?
Following the answer above I think the beauty of Supercorp is that it attracts really talented creators. I love reading @searidings, @jazzfordshire's fix-its and canon-adjacent stuff, @lgbtimelords, @coffeeshib, @mycatismyeditor, and @snowydragonscave just to name a few. They have such a deftness of language and an understanding of the characters that it's hard to stop reading!
3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?
I really love Sam Arias, Jess, and Alex. I wish I could get a better handle on Kelly because DANSEN forever. I also have a soft spot for Eliza and a deliciously evil liking for Lillian.
4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?
Karamel, Lames, Top Lena, Bottom Kara. To each their own. It's just not my thing.
5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?
Carry around a little notebook to scribble ideas, lines, sometimes whole scenes. Figure out a rough outline / structure / plot. Do unnecessary amounts of research. Open doc file. Plunge into dismay and self-doubt. Watch the show. Get frustrated. Open the doc file. Be filled with despair and self-loathing. Get a blast of inspiration and productivity. Cycle through mental instability, writer's block, and actual writing. Get dragged by Kara and Lena to unanticipated places that derails what I intended to do. Sighing and doing what the muses want. The elation of completion. Struggling with summaries and tags. Posting. Crippling anxiety and running away from AO3. Lather, rinse, repeat.
6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?
The elation of completion. The unnecessary research is fun too.
7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?
Cherry tree mutations and the structure of yakuza organizations in modern Japan.
8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?
Different tenses in the same document. Also it's and its.
9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?
Describing Kara's post-PZ night terrors and Lena’s fever dreams in Deliverance. Also the action sequence at the end of that story was so difficult.
10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?
ALL THE TIME.
11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?
Both of them. After I come to my senses and out of a dead faint because I was meeting them at all. And then I would die of sapphication.
12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?
Oh my usual tags are: light angst, tooth-rotting fluff, friends-to-lovers, Lena needs a hug, Kara gets a hug.
13) What's your most important resource as a writer?
Talking with other writers!
14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?
I usually give it some time before I edit so I can have relatively fresh eyes. Spell checking, punctuation, and grammar suggestions help you catch things but NOTHING beats reading it over yourself.
15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?
Definitely the anxiety!!!
16) How do you define sucess for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?
I think it's good to track kudos and I love getting comments. But ultimately I wrote for my enjoyment or for my peace of mind because the idea would not let me go.
17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship?
Nope but that's not a bad idea. 🤔
18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?
Wow I'd be thrilled if any of them got art. I am partial to the way @rustingcat draws Sakura blossoms though so maybe Cat for No Wrong Seasons.
19) How many WIPs do you currently have?
8 total. Finishing "the Arcana", "The Sound of Veracity" (Part 2), Prequel and Smutilogue of "Always With Me, Always With You", Supercorptober 2023 "Art" prompt, SG Mayhem fic, the Telepathy/Empathy fic, the Body Swap fic.
20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?
I posted my first Supercorp story in March 2023 feeling it would be completely lost in this large fandom and having no hope for it. I felt that I was too late. That everything had been done (and done better). I did find readers who liked and some who really loved my work. But mostly I learned to write for myself, which has truly been a gift. Write for yourself. Write what you'd want to see. You'll get better at it over time.
Tagging but no pressure: @fyonahmacnally @nottawriter @chaotic-super @luthordamnvers @fazedlight
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Do you have a favorite romantic relationship from each season?
Yoo it's been a while since I've been asked for my td thoughts :) I answered an ask this before that you can check here but I’ll provide additional info in this one.
TDI
I have to go with Duncney in this one, their dynamic is strong and their storyline is very well handled IMO, Gwent was a more long term and endgame couple for this season but the issue with them is that their relationship status always seemed to reset every episode regardless of how much development they got in individual episodes, so it felt like it wasn’t going anywhere when it should, they liked each other since ep 1 but by the start of ep 16 they were still at that exact same status. With Duncney though the development they get in an episode carries on to the next, making it all cohesive and neat :)
TDA
I don’t think I was a big fan of many canon couples this season, Duncney was very hit or miss, Gwent broke up, Bridgeoff was hitting constant bump in the roads. I’d say Lesharold but I’m not sure if they count given they weren’t an official couple, and I preferred them in TDWT even though they had less screen time there. So I guess that really leaves us with Nizzy, but again I prefer them in TDI and TDWT. Guess TDA just isn’t my season.
TDWT
Aleheather my beloved, we love an enemies to lovers and a WT Heather W (Heather’s win is canon to me). While I admit the writing wasn’t perfect when it came to consistency, one episode Alejandro flirts with Heather to tease her while another he doesn’t want people to think he like her, it’s our first properly well done endgame relationship in a season IMO. Seeing their constant complicated conflict is an absolute treat and it’s one of my favorite canon couples period.
TDROTI
Sometimes I wonder if I like Zoke because they’re cute or I can project so much onto them, that doesn’t matter though because my fave this season is Samkota! Dakota’s development learning to be less superficial in her judgement, learning to care for people, and finding someone in her life who not only actually likes her and cares for her as a person, but loves her? My heart <3 Sam starting out awkward messing up while trying to compliment her or finding things they have in common to being able to successfully swoon her is also adorable :)
TDAS
Unpopular opinion? I love Scottney, both how the season started presenting it as sorta like a Duncney 2.0 with Scott being the bad boy to Courtney’s uptight good girl, but also how they later go about it with Scott actually just being a mess with no experience in romance and Courtney somehow still being charmed by him despite knowing just how pathetic he is at trying to be romantic. It’s cute, it takes me back, I wish it last longer.
TDPI
Jashawn is considered the saving grace of Pahkitew by various people in the fandom, and while I enjoy the season more than your average td fan, I do admit it’s a highlight. They’re sweet and cute and it’s an a character screwing up and having to reevaluate their life viewpoints and priorities to be able to truly learn how to love someone and make up for their mistakes is a great development and one I don’t think we’ve seen before! The best we’ve seen the show handle couples having interpersonal conflicts I think.
TDIR
Rajbow is an obvious one here, like even if I didn’t love them what other couple was there? Chemma? Hah, no. But luckily I do love them! I’m glad TD’s first queer characters/couple are mlm, since in the earlier seasons the mere idea of queer dudes was the butt of a joke rather than actual representation, it feels like this is making up for that. Bowie’s confidence and smarts contrasting and bouncing of Raj’s himbo energy and his still discovering his sexuality is very nice to see and very enjoyable. I hope to see them develop this couple further next season :)
Thank you again for the ask anon! I love answering asks like these :D
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Fandom is when you get told people can portray aroace characters however they want including completely removing their identity and on the same day you can be called homophobic for self-shipping with a gacha dude because the game is chinese and another male character looked at him affectionately so this is a canonically gay couple simply limited by censorship and you must not erase their sexuality. Something is always on fire and a 30 year old who has never had a real job before will call themselves a wise fandom elder and lecture you on how social awareness and respectful portrayal of minorities are oppressive to them. Every blog makes it clear they're not here to play mental health support but you're supposed to validate them for their shitty coping mechanisms all the time. People with the media literacy of a third-grader are writing character analyses about a parallel universe version of the show you just watched. White women so invested in mlm ships that they're having entire mental breakdowns over them on social media have convinced themselves they're carrying the entire community when it's actually those lore wizards and people who manage to make memes that break containment or last for years to come. There's AU's out there so complex and at the same time genuinely batshit that it feels like they started as a drug trip. Someone will put the Bee Movie script in your inbox. Our lingo is as incomprehensible as gamer speak at this point. Fandom is probably a fever dream niche to anyone who is a casual enjoyer of media and only uses Instagram and Facebook. I wouldn't even know how to explain this beyond "oh it's just a community of very creative people who are a fan of a specific piece of entertainment".
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Hiyooo^^ I stumbled across your blog not too long ago and I absolutely LOVE your writing<3
I wanted to request the building 5 boys with s/o like Maki from Jujutsu Kaisen(if you don’t know who that is, then maybe a s/o that can wield numerous weapons with lethal efficiency)I literally just pasted that from google lol
~Thank you🌸
Hiya!! Welcome, and thank you so much!! ( ʃƪ＾3＾ ）
There are plenty of guys in building 5, but since you didn’t specify I just went with Samon and Cell 8!
Also I unfortunately do not know about that character or the fandom they come from, so I'll be doing it the other way! ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )
* * *
🐒 Samon 🐒
From the day he first met his S/O, Samon had a deep respect for them and their abilities
He’s very impressed with their strength and how many weapons they can weild, not to mention how well they do it
He enjoys to spar with them, testing their strength first hand and seeing just how much they know
The first time they managed to defeat him, he’s stunned, but it only deepens his respect for them
Gives his S/O plenty of compliments on their strength (And other things, of course)
Not overly protective, seeing as how capable his S/O is at fending for themselves, but can’t help but feel at least a bit protective either way
After all, he wants to ensure their safety
🍑 Liang 🍑
Is taken aback by their abilities the first time he bears witness to what they’re capable of. It’s been a long time since he’s seen someone with such skill
Definitely surprised that they are able to fight so well and weild so many different weapons with such efficiency
He silently admires them from afar after getting a crush on them for a while before finally admitting how he feels
Asks them to teach him some of their moves-- he’s greatly interested in learning some of their skills
Like Samon, he takes enjoyment in sparring with his S/O and testing each other’s strengths
Probably asks to spar daily
Carries a deep respect for his S/O and does his best to look out for them
🧘 Upa 🧘
He never really admits it before they start dating, but he is impressed with his S/O’s abilities and, like Liang, opts to admire them from a distance
As he warms up to them, he gets more open about his respect for them and compliments them every now and then
Though of course, in true Upa fashion, he always has some sort of critisism for them
But he really means it in good faith
Once he and his S/O are together, he offers to train with them to sharpen their skills further
Easily gets irritated if anyone says anything negative about his S/O, especially if they dare call them anything on the lines of “weak”
Cares deeply for his S/O and would do anything for them. Though it’d take a while for him to admit something so sappy
💐 Qi 💐
Quite impressed when he first sees their skills first hand
Contemplates offering performance enhancing drugs at one point to further increase their abilities, but is scolded by Liang and Upa for it
They’re strong enough as is, and they can get stronger naturally, no need for any drugs!!
He’ll gladly whip up some regular medicine for them if they get hurt training or through other means though
His S/O best not expect to get many spars out of Qi given his nature, but maybe he’ll give in and do a couple every now and then if they bug him enough
May not be as into sparring as his S/O is, but he’s very encouraging and supportive in his own way
Liang and Upa wonder how someone as lazy as Qi won the heart of someone who’s the complete opposite of him
#samon#Gokuu Samon#samon gokuu#nanbaka samon#samon nanbaka#nanbaka samon gokuu#samon gokuu x reader#samon gokuu nanbaka#liang#nanbaka liang#liang nanbaka#liang x reader#nanbaka liang x reader#upa#upa nanbaka#nanbaka upa#upa x reader#nanbaka upa x reader#QI#nanbaka qi#qi nanbaka#nanbaka qi x reader#Qi Nanbaka x reader#nanbaka x reader#nanbaka#nanbaka headcanons#nanbaka imagines#Canarical Nanbaka
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Saw you were lookin’ for some asks dont mind if I do 👀
To start off, I’m such a big fan of your writing! I genuinely look forward to every single update of yours and find myself rereading a lot of work in the downtime. You are such a good writer!! My never ending praises aside, here are some asks!
-You incorporate OC’s into your fics so seamlessly! They feel so natural in your fics that I legit get excited anytime they show up (srsly can’t wait for Lou Jitsu vs Hidden City, Sal’s my boy) lol how do you find the right balance when introducing and maintaining OC’s in your fics? I feel like that’s a particularly difficult balance beam to tread but you absolutely crush it.
-A previous ask you answered about Cass and Raph in LSoW got me thinking; how do the brothers handle humans crushing on them? Would they be receptive or dismissive? Do they develop crushes on humans- and if so, how is that perceived (by family or the general public)? The drama 👀
Last ask, I promise:
-I absolutely loved your crossover with Empathy is Learned! Got anymore crossovers planned in the future? Oooor if you could do a crossover with any other fic, which one(s) would it/they be??
Thanks for taking the time to even look at this! I hope these are some fun asks for ya :) I hope you have a lovely day!!
Omg thanks so much... I'm so happy people enjoy my writing it's crazy to me. I've written before, but it's always been just for myself so I never really know if it was good or not. (Years of text based DnD is to thank lol.)
(Okay I got carried away answering this so sorry in advance.)
On OC's:
I got a lot of comments on LSoW from people who say "generally I don't like OC's BUT-" which is so funny and flattering. Because I am absolutely one of those people who don't care for OC's in fic.
Let me be clear: I LOVE that people write self indulgent self-insert of OC based fic, where they make the craziest off the wall story etc. Every time a fifteen year old writes a story about the cringiest Mary-sue/stu self insert, or non canon character, an angel gets its wings and I mean that one hundred percent. It makes me so happy I literally grin when I see it. I HOWEVER generally filter out the OC tags on AO3 when I'm looking for something to read myself.
So when I started posting LSoW I was expecting to get maybe like, 100 kudos MAX, maybe one comment or so. Which is great! I love writing niche fic just for me, and one other person who I assume I must be drift compatible with. I just could not figure out a way to write the story I wanted without a few OC's- Rise didn't have a big enough character catalog for me to draw from!
When I went to write the OC's, I knew that they had to have a very simple backstory, that was also very fleshed out. (Xander and Sal have full family, Dr. Heo and Carter have full jobs and history together, etc.) For another contradiction I wanted them to be interesting enough that someone reading wouldn't just be skipping ahead to when they weren't present, or just simply plowing through to get past the part where they were doing exposition. They had to be enjoyable! While also forwarding the story!
They also had to be distinct. Anyone who's ever watched a Whedon show or movie (Buffy, Firefly, Avengers-) knows what I'm talking about. It drives me nuts when the characters in a show are constantly the funniest person in the room, with the same personality traits, and the same girl boss/badass tendencies.
(Fandom challenge Impossible: Give a female fan favorite character another trait besides 'girlboss/mom/lesbian'. I'm dead serious.)
(Also a disclaimer: I LOVE making jokes and doing bits. I FANCY that I'm pretty funny, and I love making people laugh. But you can do that without making it a character personality trait. For example: Xander doesn't really crack any jokes in LSoW! He's just funny because we the reader know more about the situation and his thoughts than he does.)
But the BIGGEST THING I kept telling myself while writing the story, was DO NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE TURTLES. Because the whole point of the story is the turtles! And Yoshi! The OC's are there to facilitate that. It's a hard balance to hit. I have all sorts of touchstones I keep in mind while I'm writing, and that's a big one.
(A SUPER good example of this done super well is @faiakishi 's Bella from Dawning of the Hour. She's a great OC that's super interesting, and a super important narrative element, but she never detracts from the main story. Big Bella fan here lmao. There's also the rest of the OC's/interpretations of franchise characters (TIGERCLAW), but Bella stands out as truly original.)
On the Turtles dating Humans:
(CW: CSA mention, SA mention, non graphic talk of minors dating etc.)
I actually talked a lot about this to @/tangledinink in feverish discord chats lmao.
When the boys were growing up they got a very detailed talk from both Yoshi, and their Doctors. ONE: Because nobody will know better than themselves if something was medically wrong with their bodies, TWO: The boys are all intersex (minus Mikey) and they had to understand that there was nothing wrong with them on TOP of the turtle thing, and THREE: Because Yoshi knew the boys would be getting a lot of attention, and you never know what kind of attention that form will take.
THE BEST WAY to protect children (any child) from being sexually assaulted or abused, is making sure they know what that abuse LOOKS LIKE. You don't have to make them terrified of being sexually assaulted, but them knowing how their body works, and also how to say NO and set boundaries, will combine to help make them safer.
Yoshi didn't know what would happen in the future and in a perfect world the boys would never leave his line of sight, but that's not always how things happen. (In a Short Season, Xander parroted Yoshi's instructions before going out to make sure the boys knew what to do if someone grabbed them (in any way) and it was to bite and be loud.) So the boys grew up knowing their bodies, knowing how to say 'no', and knowing that there was probably going to be people out there who would treat them as a novelty, and who wouldn't be appropriate to them as celebrities OR non-humans.
(Remember Emma Watson having to deal with that countdown to her turning 18? Or any other amount of child stars who had to deal with adults being predatory to them.)
But ALSO THIS IS HAMATO YOSHI. His sons are HANDSOME and HEARTBREAKERS! Leo has dated a lot but never anything seriously, and his inability to be intimate with anyone but family kind of puts a damper on any more permanent relationship. (He is gay.) He's the number one turtle people ask out because he's the most approachable. Because he made himself that way!
Donnie is in a sort of relationship with Kendra. (THIS WILL BE A FIC I'm working up to it lmao.) I have a head canon that Yokai and other empyrean based creatures are capable of having rivalry based relationships. IE Yoshi and Draxum in the canon show, the unhealthy dynamic between Yoshi and Big Mama, etc. (Caliginous relationship) Donnie is in a puppy love version of that with Kendra, while also lacking the context of yokai society to understand why he wants to punch her very badly, but also if anything happened to her he would die. They hate each others guts and also she was his first kiss. She is not a nice person I am not a Kendra apologist she's terrible I love her. (Donnie is bi!)
I know a lot of people head canon Mikey as ace, but he is a thirteen year old child you don't have to be head canoning him as anything. it is the very rare 13 year old who knows their orientation, and even if they DO I bet you donuts to dollars it will change eventually. This is normal and healthy. Mikey in LSoW has had puppy crushes on boys, girls, teachers, Violet, the mailman, Adam, and Rupert Swaggert. (Eugh eugh eugh.)
Raph is absolutely irresistible to the entire student body and is completely unaware of it. He's not stupid but he's face blind and bad at picking up subtext in conversations. He's gone to multiple people's houses and spent the whole day with them, without realizing they were trying to make it a date. (Raph is bi.)
All the boys have considered identifying as girls since their Dad is the martial arts equivalent of David Bowie and Fine With That, but have settled (for now) on being boys (age 10 the last time they considered this) because quote 'Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim are boys and they're awesome' unquote.
They don't get any fucking privacy for their relationships, and Leo in particular had a very bad experience that closed him off from dating big time. (Stamps 'THIS WILL BE A FIC' on this as well.) But also, as of the LSoW canon they are like, 12-14 and not doing a lot of dating ANYWAY. They are BABIES.
(Enter Casey Jones)
ON CROSSOVERS:
I have one crossover with my white whale of authors (you know who you are) I have pecked at with them that I think everyone will go fucking nuts for and love, but I won't mention it in case we can't get it off the ground! (A completely okay and normal thing to happen lmao.) I think that one will end up happening though because I am too excited about it, even if it's not any time soon.
I am super open to crossovers and cowriting, especially since writing with Li because I learned SO MUCH it was like speed running improvement.
The thing is it has to fit! There's some crossovers that wouldn't have a lot of substance because there's not really a lot to cover. When it came to EiL for example, there was PLENTY to cover and do, it was so fun! But other fics might not have a lot we could do for each other. (At least, not until I get some more world building done.)
That being said I do love talking crossovers with other creators it's so fun...
If you guys ever want to use my OC's feel free, just ask me in advance! I don't mind pings.
THESE ASKS ARE FUN THANKS FOR SENDING THEM I feel like you just threw a steak into my zoo exhibit. I am recharged and rejuvenated my crops are watered my skin is clear. This felt very pretentious to write I am mortified.
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