#how can i take those better than that show
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Clownfall: the Election Cometh
It's a long one, lads. Buckle up, get comfy, but the circus is in town for its final run. Ambient music as you read can be found here or here, take your pick. Get popcorn. Get snacks and water and a blanket.
Are you sitting comfortably?
Wednesday 22nd May
7.12am
Household favourite and queen of our hearts Pippa Crerar of the Guardian (her who did the investigative journalism that revealed PartyGate to the world) reports that UK inflation fell to a mere, paltry 2.3% in April. The lowest level in three years! Huzzah! But … still smaller than the decline that was expected.
Nonetheless, Rishi Sunak and Jeremy Cunt whoops I'm so sorry I meant Cunt haha whoops said it again make a big fuss about how brilliant this news is, and how it shows that they are Good At Maffs after all that trouble with Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng, who defined themselves as being Good At Maffs and then obliterated the economy in a single day. Remember that! Good times. But hey, look, THIS PM/Grand Vizier combo are great at this! Inflation has fallen! Stop looking at the predicted rate! A fall is still a fall!
Crerar wonders whether people will actually feel better off, though – prices and mortgage rates are still high, after all. Food for thought.
10.04am
Jeremy Hunt is asked on the Today programme whether Sunak will call a general election.
Now, the logic here is that the government is likely to do better in an election if the economy’s improving; which, SunakCunt are now shrieking from the rooftops. So, is now the time? It's a win, and they've had so few of those, but historically people really do like to fall for the right wing = better economy myth...
BUT – the Tories are doing so very badly in the polls. Journalists favour the idea of an autumn election. Tories do better when the weather’s bad, because fewer people go out and vote.
“Well that’s a matter for the prime minister, it’s not a matter for me,” says Cunt.
... Well. Not ruling it out, then? Diddorol.
10.30am
It's Wednesday, aka the date that Tory cabinet ministers have their weekly meeting. They are duly sent the agenda.
There is no mention at all of an election announcement, nor any plan for an election.
Fair enough! 'Twas an idle thought. Plus, it would actually be bad timing from a logistical perspective - David Cameron, Foreign Secretary and Bae of Pigs, is currently flying out to Albania for an important international meeting, and Jeremy Cunt is on TV all day today - ITV next.
12.18pm
Sunak is asked at Prime Minister’s Questions whether he’ll call a general election. He doesn’t rule it out.
12.56pm
Fun tweet alert!
2.31pm
Pippa Crerar asked Sunak’s press secretary whether he was calling an election. She refused to comment.
Surely it’s a terrible time to call an election! Everyone hates them! But suddenly …
A Cabinet meeting is scheduled for 4.15pm. David Hameron suddenly u-turns in Albania and comes straight back home, his meeting un-met. Jeremy Cunt cancels his ITV appearance. The afternoon meeting is cancelled. Number 10 stops responding to journalists. Manifesto work has stepped up. Sunak’s chief-of-staff is spotted wearing a suit and tie WHICH IS UNUSUAL. Senior ministers have spent the last few days doubling down on dividing lines. And Tory bosses had a meeting this week to discuss how much money they could spend before a summer election.
The UK press sense blood in the water.
3pm
Okay.
There’s something you need to understand:
People suspect Rishi Sunak doesn’t actually want to live in the UK. He’d prefer to be in California. He’s here because he’s an MP.
You need to know this to understand this truly historic incident.
Nadine Dorries has produced a good tweet.
...
...
...
No, we all need to sit with this one for a minute
(For the record... to us, that is an excellent joke. But I strongly suspect she wasn't joking and was trying to make a catty accusation instead, which coincidentally appeared like a roast.
Scientists are referring to this as Stopped Clock Syndrome.)
5.17pm
With great dignity, Rishi Sunak stands outside Number 10 and announces a general election on 4 July.
And by “great dignity”, I mean he’s soaked by rain, while “Things Can Only Get Better” plays in the background courtesy of an anti-Tory protestor with a big speaker and a dream; the song adopted by he Labour Party for the 1997 election, where Tony Blair famously won a landslide victory after 18 years of Tory rule. Eventually, the volume of it is raised so high Sunak is, on more than one level, drowned out.
5.37pm
According to Gabriel Pogrund of the Times, Labour can’t believe Number 10 allowed this to happen.
One Labour insider texts: “Umbrellas are woke”
6.06pm
Good tweet alert!
8pm
A later Guardian article reports that Sunak greeted around a hundred Tory activists – still wearing the same rain-soaked trousers from the announcement.
No word at all on why he doesn't have aides capable of fetching him dry trousers. Perhaps those, too, are woke.
8.14pm
A Sky News reporter is at Sunak’s campaign launch. But, bafflingly, he’s forcibly removed. Extraordinary scenes
Elanor's Pro Tip: Removing a journalist may not be the best PR move for the start of an election trail.
8.27pm
9.36pm
A GBNews reporter claims that some Tory MPs are trying desperately to replace Sunak as leader in order to call off the general election. For this to work, they’d need a vote of no confidence before the dissolution of parliament on Thursday 30 May. Except actually, that would have to happen before the proroguing of parliament on Friday 24 May.
So … this won’t work. But how very incredible - and hilarious - that they’re trying.
10.39pm
Let's take a look at the evening headlines!
A great start to Sunak’s campaign, with newspapers - including the Tory giant The Telegraph - celebrating the triumphant launch of his campaign:
Well! WHAT a day! Let's see how Thursday goes.
Thursday 23 May
8.00am
The BBC takes a moment to gleefully throw off the shackles of political oppression of the last 12 years to reveal that Rishi Sunak's announcement of a July election, the single most important announcement for a sitting government, the most sensitive and vitally-timed event in their calendar...
Was a total surprise to the rest of the party.
Tory party MPs found out when we did that they were about to have to campaign again. For a snap GE. Three weeks after having just done it for the council elections, in which they experienced the greatest single loss of their councillors in history. Even the damn meeting agenda was fake.
Still. Perhaps this explains the lack of umbrella or trousers.
9.09am
Nigel Farage confirms he will NOT stand at the general election.
*pause for applause*
That’s because he’s helping Trump get re-elected in the US right now.
*pause for screams*
This is good news for the Tories! And the rest of Britain, actually (commiserations to America. Please shoot him). Farage’s right-wing populist party - Reform UK - is the spiritual successor to UKIP and the Brexit Party, who’ve been splitting the right-wing vote for years. Farage is popular; it’s bad news for Reform if he’s not part of their campaign, but simply fantastic news for those of us who think queer folks, women and people of colour deserve human rights.
9.19am
According to BBC News and others, Sunak has hired Isaac Levido, the election strategist behind the Tories’ landslide win in 2019. Levido knows his stuff, and advised Sunak to stick with an autumn election.
Sunak ignored this advice. Lol.
9.20am
In the Guardian, Sunak says there WON’T be planes of immigrants flying to Rwanda before the general election. Good news for those of us who think it’s monstrous to deport immigrants to countries with unsafe governments. Bad news for Tory voters who were hoping to get racists to vote for them.
Now, this is particularly funny, because promising to deport refugees to Rwanda in spite of overwhelming legal opposition on human rights grounds is probably the single hill that the Tories have chosen to commit genocide on. This bill has been in and out of every court in the land since they promised it in 2019. It's been on again off again more than a tawdry tabloid romance. But, they finally managed to push it through, and the first planes were set to fly in July.
This means! That Sunak's strongest cards going into the election were the drop in inflation, and the Rwanda bill. He could sell it as "In spite of those bleeding heart liberals, we persevered and managed to tenaciously get rid of these browns and thus fulfilled our promise", and the fact that it won't actually affect the immigration numbers wouldn't be clear until after the election. And make no mistake, it is VITAL that those planes fly before any election - quoth one influential Conservative MP on the right of the party to the BBC:
“I know what question you’re going to ask us again and again. "You’ll say we’ve been banging on about Rwanda for years and we’ve only managed to fly one migrant out there - and we paid him to go”.
It took a single day for that gamble to dramatically fail.
Lol. Lmao, even. One might almost say rofl.
9.21am
Sunak is emphasising his own role in managing the economy.
The Guardian’s Rowena Mason points out that it might be better to sell this as a Tory victory rather than a Sunak victory, considering how badly Sunak’s doing as an individual in the polls.
10.45am
I'm obviously giving a lot of attention here to the funniest and most ridiculous stuff, but let’s take a moment to celebrate some genuinely brilliant journalism:
0_o
The whole article’s worth reading. It confirms that at least one more hi-vis wearer was a Tory councillor in disguise (in this case Ben Hall-Evans). Perhaps this is why they started by removing all the real journalists.
12.42pm
Sunak’s campaign takes him to a brewery in Wales! He attempts some Bonding With The Working Man and asks the workers if they’re excited for the football.
Top tip: if you don’t realise the country you’re in hasn’t qualified for the Euros, maybe don’t even mention the subject.
6.55pm
... here is a new problem. Ish.
As mentioned, three weeks ago, England held local council elections. In that time, the Tories lost over half their councillors; an unprecedented and staggering loss in one event. We are all still bathing in the schadenfreude.
But, many of those then left the party (probably fairly, actually - monsters though Tories are, that cannot have been fun.) But, the way politics in the UK works is that when you vote, you don't vote for the party - you vote for your local representative, and then it's a numbers game as to which party gets to rule. This means, with this sudden last-minute possibly-impulsively-declared-by-one-soggy-madman election now six weeks away, those candidates all need replacing so that the Tories will have a shot at getting the numbers they need to form a majority government.
Channel 4’s Paul McNamara reports that Conservative HQ have emailed asking for candidates in almost 100 seats. The deadline’s tight for this – and apparently, joining the lengthening list of people who weren't informed of this stupid election plan, Tory associations are livid at being left so unprepared.
Now, a lot of these seats are Labour strongholds, so you don’t necessarily need more than a token Tory candidate for them. Phew! A great relief.
But some of them are actually good Tory seats. Uh oh! Basildon, Bury St Edmunds, Wellingborough and Rushden … It’s a bad hit to the Tories to have so little time to find good candidates for these seats.
8.59pm
Labour launch a campaign video. It’s long, but the message is, “Remember life before the Tories got into power? Wasn’t it BRILLIANT?”
And to prove how great 2009 was, they’ve included a clip of David Tennant’s Dr Who saying “I don’t want to go.”
Lol.
9.57pm
Filmmaker Richard Cubitt jokily suggests he could stand as a Tory candidate, and immediately defect to Labour as soon as possible once elected.
I don’t know if the deadline’s closed, but I am now speaking to the chat. Lads: the time will never be better. Do it. Tell the Tories you'll stand for them. Immediately defect. You have the opportunity to do the funniest thing. Be the rot in the barrel. The time is now.
ANYWAY. Oh boy. Day one of campaigning was quite bad. Ah well! Onwards and upwards for Wali Heb Broli. Let's see what Friday brings.
And of course: the losses are staggering (100 candidates!), but it could be worse.
At least it's not senior MPs.
Friday 24 May
7.00am
Over 70 MPs confirm they will not be standing for re-election.
7.35am
It’ll be lovely to see this election get rid of some truly awful Tories. But no need to wait that long! John Redwood stands down. I haven't mentioned him before, but let's look at his clownface eggshell.
He opposed reducing the age of consent for homosexuality in 1994 and 1999, he voted to keep Section 28 in 2003, he opposed same sex marriage, he voted to reintroduce the death penalty in 1988, 1990 and 1994, he’s argued against Greta Thunberg over the UK’s climate emissions.
Although English, he became Secretary of State for Wales in 1993, and at a Tory conference, had to mime badly to the Welsh national anthem which he hadn’t bothered learning. In 1995, he cheated Wales out of a £100 million grant by returning it unspent to the treasury, so it could go back to England.
So, John – if by some fantastically rare chance you’re somehow reading this – it’s wonderful to see you step down. I wish you a very warm fuck you. And I hope the rest of your life is absolutely horrible and filled with immeasurable pain. Kisses.
7.58am
Vicky Spratt of the i newspaper announces that, with an election announced, the Renters’ Reform won’t pass.
This is a big deal, actually - this was a rare good promise in the Tories’ 2019 manifesto to protect renters by ending no-fault evictions. A good promise! With cross-parliamentary support, only slowed as much as it was because most Tory backbenchers are landlords and so tried to block it. But the fighting raged on, and it was finally agreed.
And now it’s broken. Wasting months of work by stakeholders, and thus forming another election promise that would have sailed through if only the election hadn't been called for July.
8.09am
Jeremy Corbyn – remember him? Former Labour leader, who was expelled from the Labour party in 2020 – confirms he’ll be standing as an independent. He’s continued to be a member of Labour despite being an independent MP – but standing against Labour in an election means he’ll have his membership revoked too.
9.26am
So where are we at? How do you reckon the normal Tories in the party are faring? Do you think they're positive of a win? Do you think they expect to lose?
Great Guardian article here:
Highlights - one government minister happened to bump into his equivalent opposition member, and immediately thrust his official folder towards them, saying, “You might as well have this now.”
Another Tory MP hugged a Labour colleague and cast their arm around the room. “Good luck. This is all yours.”
One Tory backbencher was asked if it was a good idea to call an election. “It’s a disaster. I can’t understand it.”
Even when they’re being optimistic, the Tories seem a little glum. One long-standing MP said: “Of course I’m going to fight it, I don’t believe in just giving up like the prime minister has obviously decided to.”
A former minister raises an interesting point. It’s not long, after all, since the Tories suffered those major defeats at the local council elections. That's impacted the number of candidates, of course - but, local canvassing is largely done, on all parts of the political spectrum, but activist volunteers.
That loss was three weeks ago. If you were a volunteer who just spent weeks knocking on the doors of your neighbours and community, trying to convince them to vote for the dead horse, and then lost – maybe you won’t feel like hitting the streets again so soon. Maybe you'd prefer to be able to meet your neighbours' eyes when you bump into them in the bread slicing queue at Morrisons.
Some MPs have even admitted they won’t be cancelling holiday plans to fight the election. On top of that, there's over 70 MPs that have already confirmed they’re quitting and won’t be seeking re-election!!! Absolute scenes.
Interestingly, some anti-Sunak Tories report frustration. They reckon they were close to calling a vote of no-confidence, in the hopes of replacing Sunak with a different leader. No idea if this is true – and if true, whether Sunak knew it. But given the panicked speed at which it seems to have been called...
11.08am
The campaign takes Rishi Sunak to the Titanic Quarter, to be interviewed by Belfast Live.
Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t let journalists interview you on a site named after history’s most famous sinking ship.
11.57am
How’s the campaign going, Rishi?
Oh, Rishi. Looks like someone else is not meeting anyone's eyes in the bread-slicing queue.
1.12pm
Politics UK reports that 75 Tory MPs are now standing down at the election – the same number of Tories who stood down ahead of the 1997 election.
2.49pm
Sunak’s campaign takes him on board an aeroplane.
Elanor's Pro Tip: if you’re the leader of a failing political party, maybe don’t be photographed in front of an exit sign.
7.07pm
MICHAEL GOVE ANNOUNCES HE’S STANDING DOWN AS AN MP!
I could honestly use that gif like seventeen times in this write up. You can all thank me for my restraint in choosing just one.
The 79th Tory to do so at this election – an all-time record exodus. Hey gang, would you like to see some familiar names joining him in this?
Theresa May
Sajid Javid
Dominic Raab
Matt Hancock
Ben Wallace
Nadhim Zahawi.
It’s just … not a great sign for the party, is it? That so many prominent MPs don’t reckon it’s worth sticking around.
7.50pm
Hey, remember those parody videos of Hitler getting angry with funny subtitles? Someone made a good Sunak one:
vimeo
10.48pm
The Guardian’s Kiran Stacey reports that Sunak will retreat from the campaign trail, spending the next day at home.
Honestly... that's probably best. Let him recover from the bread excitement.
10.50pm
We round off the day with Andrea Leadsom announcing she too is standing down as an MP. Bye, bitch.
WHAT A DAY! Still, Saturday will probably be better.
Saturday 25 May
12am
New episode of Doctor Who drops! It contains Welsh faeries. I later write a post explaining this. You're all welcome. Back to the circus.
10.06am
Good tweet alert!
11.14am
Keir Starmer promises to lower the voting age from 18 to 16 if he wins the election.
2.43pm
Hey remember how David Hameron was supposed to be in Albania? And actually went there? And then had to come back because of Rishi's totally-planned-for election announcement?
The Mirror reports that David Cameron spent £60,000 of taxpayers’ money getting to Albania for that trip. He was there for 89 minutes, before he had to come back in light of the general election announcement.
This means it cost the country £674 a minute for Cameron to be in Albania for about as long as it takes to watch The Lion King.
6.14pm
Labour and the Tories put candidates forward for 650 seats in a general election.
Of course, that's not quite all of them. The Times’ Patrick Maguire understands that Labour have only 13 candidates left to select, which is pretty good. The Tories are missing slightly more than that.
They need to find around 190.
(The number is rising. Chat, you know what to do.)
9.29pm
According to the Telegraph, Theresa May has said if she was still PM she would have used an umbrella to declare the election.
She probably would have, too.
10.11pm
Now then!!! Gather round boys and girls and all the rest!
Remember: the election was called based upon the following main cards in Sunak's hand:
The Rwanda bill
Inflation falling
The Renter's Reform Bill
Inflation fell, but not by as much as it should have. The Rwanda plan fell through a day later. The election itself has blocked the Renter's Reform bill.
Rishi needs a new set of promises stat, in order to shore up votes from his most important bastions of support. What can he offer?
The evening brings the answer!
At 10.11pm - note the time - in spite of having taken the day off, Sunak promises mandatory national service for every 18 year old if he wins the election. Either a year-long army placement, or a weekend a month volunteering for a year.
Sounds like a good pledge, if you’re hoping to motivate 18-year-olds to vote against you.
10.16pm
The Financial Times’ Jim Pickard reveals that the National Citizen Service (David Cameron’s legacy project) had its funding slashed by two-thirds in a 2022 review of government youth funding - when the chancellor was Rishi Sunak.
Five minutes. That’s how long it took a journalist to melt Sunak’s new pledge.
Still; Tories never let facts get in the way.
10.27pm
Politics UK reports that leaked documents suggest teenagers would be jailed for refusing this national service.
11.47pm
Sunak's bad ideas generator works hard, but the meme makers of the internet work harder:
Still. Sunday is a day of rest! Hopefully Sunday will be better.
Sunday 26 May
9.50am
Let’s check the Sunday tweets.
Starting to think whoever is in charge of optics for Rishi Sunak may be a Labour plant.
10.21am
Fantastic tweet alert:
I Agree With Gabby
3pm
And then... PLOT TWIST!!!
FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Sunak’s national service pledge - including assigning up to 30,000 18-year-olds to the military - was rejected this week by one of his own defence ministers.
Defence personnel minister Andrew Murrison warned of a hit to morale, headcount and resources if “potentially unwilling national service recruits” were introduced alongside Britain’s professional armed forces.
EVEN THE ARMY DON'T WANT THIS.
6.47pm
And then:
Incredible story from Gabriel Pogrund of the Times.
St Paul’s School, if you haven't heard of it, is an expensive and famous private school in England somewhere (I forget where and don't care). As with other private schools, they’d be subject post-election to a Labour plan to remove their VAT exemption.
Tory MP Greg Hands took matters into his own Greg hands, and messaged the school’s parents’ WhatsApp group to try and drum up anti-Labour sentiment.
I can see the logic. These are parents with money, who have chosen to send their children to a private school that often means an easy track into politics generally and the Tory party specifically. I see why he thought he was safe.
Tumblrs, he was not safe.
Parents intervened, complaining about Hands spamming the chat, and claiming his use of the chat was “inappropriate”.
One parent messaged: “Can we stop assuming everyone is a Tory in this group. A return to more morality, less corruption and more social conscience in British politics is not something to oppose necessarily.”
Another expressed that some parents will “feel it is hard to defend private schools being vat exempt.”
Ouch. Swing and a miss, Greg Hands.
Anyway. New week, new campaigning. I am writing this on Tuesday, and so our tale is nearly at an end for now; so let's see what happened on Monday.
Monday 27 May (Yesterday)
7.40am
Britain's teenagers respond to the national service plan. I love this tweet and the video it reposts:
And here, for your viewing pleasure, is the video:
8.17am
Tory MP Steve Baker (more on him later) actually tweets a public criticism of Sunak’s national service plan. You might be thinking "Well yes, obviously"! But no! For you see, when approaching elections, parties need to be united. Divided parties generally find it harder to win elections.
Naughty Steve.
8.41am
Foreign Office Minister Anne-Marie Trevelyan, having seen the absolute shambles of Sunak’s campaigning, wakes up this fine Monday morn and invites him to hold her beer.
Appearing on Times Radio, she’s asked whether the parents of teenagers could be prosecuted if the teens refuse to take up national service.
And she doesn’t rule it out.
NO BUT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANNE-MARIE. IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY OUT OF THE HOUSE.
Parents are NOT prosecuted for any wrongdoing of their ADULT CHILDREN. How do you not understand this basic legal concept. The answer to that question was “no”! You say “no” because it makes your party more likely to be elected, and you say “no” because the answer is no.
Oh dear. What a gaffe, as the papers say. Gosh, I really hope Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe stays contained.
8.56am
The Telegraph duly reports that parents of 18-year-olds might be fined if their children refuse national service.
Anne-Marie Trevelyan’s gaffe did not stay contained.
10.55am
Looks like the Tories are unhappy that the press revealed that Sunak took a day off from campaigning.
But that’s okay, they have a new strategy! Reported by Politico, they’ve decided to suggest that Keir Starmer is too old to be a good Prime Minister.
They called him “weary” yesterday afternoon;
Tory Party Chair Richard Holden says it’s “bizarre” for Starmer to rest at home the day before a speech (but not for Rishi to - ? You know what, never mind);
A Tory aide tells the Sun that Starmer should be dubbed “Sir Sleepy” (what a Zinger, as those conscripted into national service say);
Another Tory aide calls Starmer “Sleepy Keir” according to the FT.
Keir Starmer is 61 years old.
11.17am
Let's check Tory candidate numbers!!!
Now last we looked it was 190, but obviously, as this is possibly their most urgent priority, they've been working flat out and recruiting across the land and so they have, fair play, managed to reduce that number.
The Spectator therefore reports that the Tories have 12 days to select 160 candidates. Would you like to see the maths?
This means, on average, they need to select one candidate every 100 minutes. Which is slightly less time than it takes to watch Toy Story 3.
#ChatYouKnowWhatToDo
12.41pm
The FT’s Lucy Fisher reports that Tory HQ has accidentally sent out an email criticising Tory MPs for failing to campaign, and warning of financial concerns in some seats.
Cannot stress this enough: even if the Tory campaign was going really well and they were predicting a landslide their way, this would be a terrible blow.
5.02pm
The Mirror reports that Tory MP Steve Baker is on holiday in Greece. That’s pretty irresponsible, isn’t it? What does Baker have to say for himself?
"The Prime Minister told everyone we could go on holiday and then called a snap election. So I've chosen to do my campaign work in Greece."
… this is the greatest Tory campaign in history.
(And once again... when exactly did you decide to do this, Rishi?)
5.15pm
In an absolutely baffling move whose motives I still cannot entirely fathom, Tory MP Lucy Allan - a repugnant, malignant liar of a woman who once altered an email from a constituent so she could claim it contained a death threat against her - is suspended by the party, for telling voters in her ward to vote for Reform UK instead of the Tories.
...
...
...
...wwwhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
6.18pm
Good tweet alert! Here's political journalist Jonn Elledge:
6.30pm
Meanwhile, a Tory chooses to contact journalist Theo Usherwood over WhatsApp, criticising the election strategist Isaac Levido:
Now this is particularly interesting, because Levido is the guy who managed to swing the last GE to BlowJo, even though Labour were riding high on Corbyn. And I don't know, maybe he is actually shit at this and all that was luck.
I just... wouldn't have said he was the reason for this one going the way it is. Necessarily.
Finally, let's finish off Monday with a last good tweet:
10.06pm
***
That's all for now, folks! Thank you for reading, enjoy the circus playing out this week!
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In one of your last answers, you said “series reboots are usually pretty gross and sad”, and I was wondering if you could expand on that? Assuming “reboot” covers any kind of continuation of a currently cancelled or finished show (and maybe that’s the wrong assumption!), from the outside looking in it feels like a pretty mixed bag. On one hand, if I love XYZ Show, it’s cool that I get more stories with these characters and another chance to support XYZ Show and its creators. On the other, it definitely feels like a lot of ideas can only get funding if they’re tied to something already, meaning creatives are having to now tie whatever cool idea they have to some reboot/relaunch/retread, which can feel pretty disheartening if you don’t want to do a reboot/relaunch/retread. Is that a similar feeling from your side of the industry?
Thank you so much for all your answers and insight!
Usually reboots and spin-offs are just cash grabs. It happens a lot in animation. In fact, I would argue that the entire industry is just one big cash grab now. In the 80s, everyone complained that cartoons were just half-hour commercials for toys. And they were right. And we're right back there, but now that you can't legally push toys all day, it's just general "IP". Mugs, posters, more spinoffs, whatever.
I was offered three show running gigs over the pandemic. All reboots that I would consider unwise to pursue because they were "of a different time" and didn't (in my opinion) have anything more to say. Two of them were properties created by notorious sex pests, so there's also that. The animation industry loves to prop up its sex pests.
I turned all of them down, partially because I didn't respect the original creators but also because none of them had anything going for them except just being "more of the same".
I don't think any of those projects survived the intervening years, so in retrospect I maybe should've taken the job. I'd probably feel a bit gross, but at least I'd have floors in my house.
The entertainment industry is in a bad spot. The whole thing. I've had I don't know how many pitch meetings in the last few years, and they all start the same way:
"Hey! Before we start, we just want to let you know that we're not actively producing anything right now. We think maybe soon, but we won't be picking anything up today..."
And then later:
"The little we are doing is IP, so if you have a new take on our IP or a new IP you're connected to that you can bring in, that'd be great."
I always wanted to make original stuff. There came a time when I'd had my fill of Billy & Mandy and wanted to do something else new and original. That never manifested, and I was constantly being offered IP to produce. I turned too many of those down, maybe, before deciding that it was probably better that I run the IPs that mean something to me rather than having some hack do it.
But now those jobs have all gone to celebrities and fallen live-action writers, who are also slowly being eaten by the system. WB was hot for Scooby stuff a few years back, so I pitched some ideas. A few of them were turned down for being "off-brand" in a variety of ways. WB has now made (I think) all of those off-brand shows (or something close) with celebrity show runners.
I was going through a whole Midlife Impostor Syndrome thing recently where I was wondering if maybe I don't just suck. Like, it's weird that for a couple of decades I'd have people calling me trying to get me to run shows, and now nobody will call me back about the possibility of a design job.
Talking to some friends and realizing that they were in a similar situation helped me feel like I wasn't alone. That was nice. Talking to some of the most talented colleagues in my industry made me made me realize that those people weren't getting jobs either. That was unnerving. Talking to complete strangers in other parts of the entertainment industry now has me thinking that the whole house of cards is coming down. That's real concerning, yo.
It's hard not to think it's purposeful, when deranged billionaires own the entirety of our media and want to shape a society where they can't be criticized. We're letting wealthy tech bros firebomb the very heart of our culture, and it's weird that no one is talking about it. Because (for now) we still have that capability.
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SUPER BELATED Spring Cleaning 2024 Sale
okok the whole starting a separate part time job kinda threw me for a while but I've GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER!!! IT'S STILL SPRING!!!!
Basically, I have way too many print designs, and I've selected 9 of the older/less popular ones to phase out. I've put the following listings on sale for 25% off, and when they're out, they're OUT (unless people years down the line ask for a reprint batch or two). I updated the inventory quantity in each listing to accurately reflect how many of each print is left
this sale is gonna last a month, whatever's left over after the sale ends I'll just end up recycling. And from there on I'll be looking into creating funky NEW print designs for yall!
This sale doesn't affect the remaining 20-odd designs I have in the shop at the moment, you can still buy those whenever
1) why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food
2) Smashed Mouthe: Put Thy Show On
3) I may not know my flowers....
4) Born in a Graveyard Raised by a witch...
5) The only thing better than collecting BOG MUMMIES is BECOMING one! it's NATURAL, it's ORGANIC, and it's COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE!!!
6) Pinpath: A poem I wrote about my cross stitch needle, available in uncial and italic hands
7) Gaymer House (this one does well actually but I could have designed it nicer. Might just be selling out these old ones and come up with a new design for June)
8) Dummy Thicc Telltale Heart
9) Yeah, I'm into Battles Dragons Swords and Magic
The sale should be live! clicking those links should take you to the discounted listings, have fun yall!
I'll be boosting this a few times in the next day or two and then i'll limit boosts to once every few days or so in order to not fuck up anyone's dash
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As a society we need to appreciate Suguru fingerfucking fem!reader as if it was nothing but an everyday task.
yes i have an indifference kink.
INCOMING CALL : S. GOJO !!!
☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : suguru isn't going to let a phone call interrupt his wrist work out, especially when he realizes who's calling
☾₊‧⁺...cw : suguru geto x fem!reader ft. satoru gojo, smut, fingerfucking, pre-established relationship, exhibitionism, voyeurism, dirty talk, begging, suguru and satoru being perverts, suguru is a bad influence
☾₊‧⁺...a/n : mmm iM A FREAK !!! sorry i couldnt help but throw gojo in there too for a lil extraness so i hope u like it, suguru is just a big meanie but i love it
"oh, satoru's calling."
beep.
"hey, satoru, what's up?"
he was annoying. so, so, SO annoying.
only suguru would have the fucking nerve to whine and beg for you to leave the comfort of your soft sheets on the bed on your rest day to sit on the couch next to him while he watches some game show.
only suguru would pat your thighs, muttering a little 'open up, baby' without taking his eyes off the screen, acting as if he's more into it than you.
only suguru would smirk as he slips his fingers inside your soft pussy, humming as he slowly feels you begin to soak his fingers, teasing you on how quickly you get wet for him.
and only suguru would answer his fucking phone to gojo satoru of all people while he plays with your pussy.
"ehhh? you want to come over? but you were just here this morning," suguru hums into the phone, acting as if his fingers aren't swirling circles into your clit. it's so unfair, he's so good with his hands that you aren't sure how you're gonna be able to stay quiet. satoru never knew when to shut up, especially on the phone.
"aww, but i didn't get to see pipsqueak today!"
that makes you huff, annoyance crossing your features. you were not that small! satoru and suguru were just! abnormally tall!
before you can even mutter a snide comment, suguru slips his fingers back into you, smirking when you gasp so sweetly. your gushing all over his slender fingers and he's relishing the tight heat that envelops him.
"aww, satoru," suguru fucking purrs into the phone, not missing the way satoru's teasing comments pause for a moment nor the way you shook him a look. you know that tone, you know it better than anyone.
suguru is up to no fucking good.
"you're right, you did miss her. poor thing was so tired from last night, she needed to sleep in." suguru's focus is back on the TV, voice mischievous as he picks up pace with his finger, wanting to see if he could get you to crack.
"s-sugu," you whimper, a hand coming to cover your mouth. you didn't want to get too loud, the embarrassment of satoru possibly hearing you sounding worse than death. suguru nearly groaned into the phone, feeling how you squeezed on him.
"awww, baby, thinkin' about satoru hearing you is getting you this wet? hm?"
suguru's grip on your thigh to keep you spread for him is firm, his fingers digging into your soft skin as he holds you in place. it's so unfair how he continues to multitask so effortlessly, his phone in his other hand away from his face so he can say such filthy things to you.
it's unfair because it's just making you wetter.
"it's so cute how you get so wet for me, soaking my hand just from two fingers...now shh, baby, i gotta talk to satoru," he coos at you, leaning over to press a sweet kiss to your cheek, like he's not fucking your cunt open with those slender digits of his.
without hesitation, he maneuvers his fingers deeper into the plush, wet heat of your pussy, curling them in a way that made your body arch instinctively as he brings his phone back to his ear, talking to satoru like nothing is happening.
while satoru continues to talk suguru's ear off, you are struggling so bad. it's hard to stay quiet with the way he's touching you. you don't get it, why is he still on the phone? each stroke of his stupid fingers keeps you wound up, unable to think properly, which lets to a sweet whimper leaving you before you can stop it.
"shhh, keep it down, baby," suguru whispers, leaning closer to you, his breath hot against your cheek. "we don't want satoru to hear what a naughty little slut you're being for me, would we?" he's so cruel, his words only making you shiver at the thrill of the situation. feeling you clench on his fingers, he hums curouisly. "oh..? maybe you do. you wanna have satoru hear you get your pussy played with?"
you shake your head, not wanting to deal with the endless teasing from suguru and satoru from being in this situation. but while you was keeping your mouth shut, your pussy betrays you. you're so wet, the sounds of your cunt gushing and sloshing around his fingers start to get picked up by the phone, and satoru noticed.
he could fucking hear the wet slick noises of suguru's fingers messing up your soft slit, and the sound stuns him into silence. he glups, something suguru hears and can't help but smirk about.
he's got the both of you exactly where he wants you.
after a few moments of silence, satoru clears his throat.
"i-is, uh...is she there?"
he's...he's curious, so curious to see if suguru will keep playing this game, keep pretending like he's not fucking you open with his fingers so good that he can hear it through the phone. shit, he's getting so hard from this, he feels like a fucking perv.
suguru's eyes flash with something dangerous at satoru's shaky words, his smirk turning almost evil. you want to glare at him, do something for putting you in such an embarrassing situation, but you just can't. not with how good he's making you feel and how the thought of satoru hearing you makes your walls clamp on his fingers.
suguru maintains his composure, fingers never faltering their movements in and out of your dripping cunt. "mm, i dunno, satoru, what do you think," he asks coolly, his voice a seductive blend of mockery and affection.
"suguruuu, h-he's gonna hear me," you whimper as your arm reaches out to grip his wrist, trying to stop his fingers from moving anymore. it was so messy sounding, your face was on fire. god, why did you have to get so wet from suguru being so mean?!
your breaths come in ragged gasps, hips moving instinctively against suguru's hand, unconsciously seeking more. you just can't help it, he's playing with your pussy so good, it's making your brain mushy.
the squelching sound of your slick wetness is unmistakable to satoru. on the other side of the phone, he's got his phone squished against his ear as much as possible, desperate to hear all of your noises. he's...he's hard, but he can't touch, not yet, he doesn't want any distractions from this.
"fuck, i-i can hear her, suguru...i-is she really wet?"
"mhm. she's dripping, 'toru, all over the couch."
without missing a beat, suguru moves the phone closer to you, continuing work his fingers inside your dripping slit. if you say anything, he'd just smirk at you and say he's just repositioning so his hand doesn't hurt.
but you know he's moving it closer to give satoru a better chance of hearing all your noises. and it just makes you squeeze on his fingers, your juices dripping down his wrist.
"here, angel. talk to satoru for me, yeah?"
...oh, what the hell?
your brain is already fucking melting out of your ears, you don't even think about what would happen if you take the phone. your hand trembles as you take the phone, the other hand clutching at the couch cushions for support.
the moment you bring the phone to you, you can hear satoru's excited breathing, the anticipation practically radiating through the speaker.
"h-hi, satoru..." you manage to greet him, voice breaking as suguru finds another sensitive spot within you, his free hand now pressing down on your tummy as he really starts to fuck you with his fingers.
"h-hey, sweet thing," satoru tries to purr, but it just comes out like a desperate sigh, a mix of curiosity and arousal clear in his tone. "you...you sound so pretty..."
suguru doesn't relent for a moment, his pretty fingers plunging and twisting inside you. sure, he wants you to be able to talk to satoru, but that doesn't mean you have to be incoherent. no, he wants you to be unable to hold back those moans from him.
who cares if his best friend is on the other line?
"c'mon, princess, tell him how you're feelin'," suguru whispers into your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "let him know how good 'm makin' your pretty pussy feel right now."
his voice sounds so good in your ear, your grip on the phone tightening as you try to hold onto the last shred of your composure.
"s-sugu, don't talk t' me like that, fuck, 's so embarrassing..."
he knows you don't mean it, not when he feels your gummy walls clench on him like that. you like it, you like when he's mean, when he makes you talk to him and tell him how good he's making you feel. but it feels even better because you know satoru is gonna hear how good suguru, his best friend, makes you feel with just his fingers.
the sensation of suguru's fingers, slick and sticky with your arousal, moving relentlessly inside your soft pussy and pressing against that fucking spot that makes you gush all over his hands, is making having any coherent thought nearly impossible.
"s-suguruuu, i-i can't, 'm gonna—!"
on the other end, satoru bites his lip to muffle his groan, the mental image of the scene flashing in his mind. his mind is going blank as the wet sounds of his best friend's fingers and your labored breaths and broken little moans fills his ears.
but then, they stop.
you let out the prettiest little moan and satoru feel his cock throb in his sweats, the feeling of precum leaking out making him shiver.
god, he wants to hear you like that all the time...
"s-suguru, why'd you—?"
"are you coming over or not, satoru? wouldn't you rather see her than hear her? if you come over, i'll teach you how t' make her squirt."
that seems to be all it takes to get him to keen, a high pitched and pathetic whimper coming from satoru's end of the call. who knew suguru could get the strongest to make such a sound just from a simple set of words?
"i'm on my way right now, please, don't let her cum without me there."
all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
#geto suguru x you#geto suguru smut#suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#𖤐 ── lxnarworks.#💎 ── satoru.#🔮 ── suguru.
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Almost a decade ago, in November of 2014, I became so exhausted by seeing people throw around the absurd claim that Dean/Cas fans made up only 1% of SPN fandom that I decided to prove how wrong it was. The most readily available data which didn't rely on conducting a survey or poll -- and was therefore a more accurate representation of actual fandom activity rather than just whoever happened to respond to a survey -- came from fic numbers on Ao3.
I made a post about it at the time (the pertinent figures are included below, or you can see the original post here) and then completely forgot about the entire thing. Until now.
Why? Well, largely thanks to a sudden resurgence of the same old nonsense this week, mostly cropping up in the comment sections of a couple of polls that crossed my dash. The temptation to check if there had been any significant changes to the fandom's activity since I last looked ten years ago was too strong to ignore.
Friends. Things have proven to be shockingly consistent.
With the same caveat from last time -- that this is only showing trends in the subset of fandom who actively uses Ao3, and therefore obviously doesn't take into account the "general audience" subset of fandom who don't participate beyond watching the show and occasionally liking a social media post -- here are the numbers:
Old count | November 9th, 2014 | 4 episodes into S10
Total SPN fics posted - 86,352
Fics listed as gen - 22,718 (26.3%)
Fics with Dean/Cas - 33,762 (39.0%)
Fics with Sam/Dean - 12,286 (14.2%)
Fics with Sam/Cas - 1,634 (1.8%)
Fics with Sam/Dean/Cas - 787 (0.9%)
The remaining 18.6% of SPN fics were non-gen fics featuring other character pairings, including reader inserts and original characters.
New count | May 28th, 2024 | 3.5 years after finale
Total SPN fics posted - 290,707
Fics listed as gen - 61,343 (21.1%)
Fics with Dean/Cas - 116,925 (40.2%)
Fics with Sam/Dean - 34,673 (11.9%)
Fics with Sam/Cas - 5,548 (1.9%)
Fics with Sam/Dean/Cas - 1,957 (0.6%)
The remaining 24.3% of SPN fics are non-gen fics featuring other character pairings, including reader inserts and original characters.
Notes on data:
All data was collected while logged in on Ao3 to ensure no incorrect counts were caused by hidden works.
There is some overlap within these numbers due to fics which are tagged with multiple pairings. This might be possible to account for if someone felt like doing more intensive data collection, but I've already spent about an hour and a half on this and that's already a lot more time than I'd like to be doing voluntary math. I enjoy statistics as a point of interest, but goddamn do I hate actually crunching the numbers.
It bears mentioning that Sam/Gabriel (5.1%), Sam/Jess (2.2%), & Dean/Reader (2.5%) all have higher counts than Sam/Cas (1.9%) & Sam/Dean/Cas (0.6%), however I didn't make note of those pairings in 2014, so I'm unsure if there has been any change.
I shouldn't have to say this, but literally all of us are just smashing our fave characters together like dolls, so as interesting as these numbers are this post is not intended to suggest that any ship is "better" than any other ship. This post is intended to do nothing more than show the available data which disproves a baseless claim about the size of Dean/Cas fandom within the larger SPN fandom.
TLDR; the percentage of active Supernatural fans on Ao3 who are interested in Dean/Cas as a pairing is significantly higher than 1%, and that has been a consistent pattern within the fandom for the past ten years.
#cass says things#fandom: supernatural#a post in which i get irritated enough by disinformation that i voluntarily do math#i wasn't planning on posting this anywhere tbh#but it was interesting to me and i figure someone else out there might also find it interesting#plus it gave me an excuse to make a couple of pie charts#also if you're about to start wank about this in my notes please consider... not doing that
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Alright, so there's been a lot of chatter about some of the most common racist takes in the fandom lately, and I know most people aren't engaging in good faith but I'm gonna spell some things out anyway. Here's a handy-dandy White Fan's Intro to Racist Fanon 101
Why is it racist to depict Ed as uncontrollably violent?
Because he's not actually depicted that way in the show. OFMD goes out of its way to depict Ed's relationship with violence as complex and intensely traumatic for him. Because he has so many hangups around violence, Ed is one of the least violent characters in a show full of violent characters. He is always shown giving people many chances before they're able to push him into reacting with violence.
Even if you think you're just doing a character study on a guy who is really very complex and nuanced, please take the time to consider if you're assigning more weight to Ed's violent actions than those of other characters or assuming he's worse than he actually is (for example, Ed never physically hurt the crew during his kraken spiral, just Izzy. His crime was being a shitty boss, not going on mindlessly violent rampages).
What do other common fanon depictions of Ed that are racist look like?
The biggest ones are depicting Ed as untidy/messy, as illiterate, and as needing a white man (most often Izzy) to clean up after him. I hope I shouldn't have to spell out why these are racist, but please keep an eye out for them in the fanon you consume so you can be critical of how you respond when they pop up.
Are you saying that all Izzy fans are racist?
Liking a character is morally neutral. Insisting that the viewpoint of an antagonistic character is the lens through which the show should be understood, though, especially when that antagonistic character's whole deal in the first season of the show was trying to control the behavior of the brown lead so he could gain power for himself, however...
Just please consider - why do you find Izzy's tears more deserving of sympathy and compassion than Ed's?
But my hot take/fic/meta doesn't say anything about Ed's skin color!
It doesn't have to. Most of the racist takes/fic/meta out there don't mention Ed's skin color explicitly. Racism doesn't just look like saying "this character is a brown man so he's bad." Everyone who grows up in a racist society (that's everyone on the planet, btw, you included) has biases to unlearn, and those biases impact how you interact with the world around you, including with the media you consume.
The thing is, OFMD isn't a subtle show. It's very consistent with telling us who Ed is, how he responds to situations, and why he behaves the way he does. If you find it easier to throw all that aside in favor of believing what a white antagonistic character tells you about him, then you should really take a bit to examine that.
And here's the most important thing to keep in mind:
This is not about you.
Trust me, it has to be pretty damn bad for fans of color to call out racism in fandom. Every time we do, we know we're gonna harrassment and just some truly awful shit in our inboxes. But you, random white fan who Did A Racism? No one is out to get you. No one thinks you're an awful person for including a racist trope in your stuff, we just wish you'd examine it so we can make this fandom a better place for everyone.
I have had amazing discussions with white fans who saw my posts on fandom racism and wanted a sensitivity read or a check so they could fix an instance where they uncritically included a racist trope. But most people who make similar mistakes will just double down and insist they didn't do anything wrong, and that makes fandom a worse place for all of us.
Fans of color deserve to feel safe and included in this fandom, and we're just tired of feeling like we have to beg to get some circles to see poc as people. You can do your part by being critical of these tropes and your reactions to them when they pop up.
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My last uni final exam is in 2 days and I’m actually stressed the fuck out, so to take my mind off it I’m requesting this because the longer I keep starting at my lecture notes the more I’m getting the urge to cry soo here I am anyway can you do joost with female reader and she’s been a more distant towards him and when he asks if she’s ok she lies saying she’s fine but he knows her better than that so he comes over to find her studying knowing she hasn’t gotten sleep or properly eaten in days and she starts crying from the stress and just comforts her, maybe runs her a bath, gets her food, and then plays with her hair till she falls asleep. Don’t feel pressure to do it if you don’t want to and make sure to take care of your self!
Aawww thanks for the request sorry im a bit late to it hope your exam went well love🩷
Take care - joost klein
Its been a few days since joost has had a proper conversation with you as he looked at your latest text messages, he was quite busy himself so it took him a second to see how dry and short you were over texts. He got the sense something wasn’t right, making him feel a little anxious as he decided to stop by.
With a bouquet flowers in his hands he rang your doorbell, shuffling on his feet and playing with the string of his earbuds as he waited for you to open.
He heard a load groan on the other side of the door before it opened “oh joost hi” you sounded surprised “i didn’t know you were coming” you said as you looked at the flowers in his hand.
“I wanted to come check on you ya know see how you are” he said, presenting you the flowers “for you” he said with a big grin showing his theet as he gave you the biggest smile.
“Aw thank you love” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close “thats really sweet” you whisper in his ear.
As you let him in you went to put the flowers in a vase as joost looked around your appartement.
“Are you sure your doing okay?” He asks, looking around to see your place.. kind of neglected as clothes and other stuff spread around everywhere. You sigh sitting at the kitchen counter bend over your laptop again as you cover your face in your hands. “Ive been busy” you mumble.
“Whats up?” He nonchalantly says as he hovers over you. You lean your head on your arms as you sigh again. “Its to much stress these exams, i have to study so much and i feel like i cant do enough or im to dumb or ill have a black out, did you know i have to do a whole ass presentation?” You sounded more upset by the second as you raised your head to look at him in disbelief.
“Thirty fucking minutes joost what the fuck am i even going to do and i cant even take care of myself at the same time i haven’t eaten a meal in days i mean look at this place” you let out frustrated as you stare at your laptop again.
“Hey babe no” he shushes as his hands caressed your shoulders “your not dumb we’ve been over this you got this dont let the stress cloud your head like that, you gotta stay positive and ask for help when u need it alright i can help you out with… this..?” He said questionable as he pointed at all the words on your screen, making you let out a giggle as you pouted at him.
You sighed “no your right im not dumb its just to much joost” you mumble as you lean into his chest.
“Look since i know you pretty well, lets go over your exam for tomorrow and THEN take a break alright ill take good care of you” he said firmly kissing your cheek before he sat on the chair beside you sliding the laptop infront of him.
He squeezed his eyes and made a few faces as he looked at all of it. “Okay tell you what you explain this shit to me and if i understand it then you pass” he said flashing you his signature grin as he gave you the laptop back making you giggle while you rolled your eyes.
Lets just say it took a little while… joost couldn’t possibly focus on all those hard terms coming out of your mouth as he just mindlessly admired you and giggled when u scolded him to pay attention.
-
“Hmmm why don’t you take a nice bath while i try to make dinner for us” he said as he looked in all the cabinets of your kitchen.
“What if you blow up my house?” You said raising an eyebrow while turning to him. He gave you a mad face “no i will not blow up your house y/n” he chuckled “if you say so sweetie” you sang as you joined.
The evening ended with the two of you in the couch eating pasta joost made that was actually quite good. You gave him lots of compliments making the boy blush and smile at you like a little boy.
You laid in his lap as you watched your favourite show, his hand in your hair as you enjoyed the comfort and warmth of your boyfriend finally feeling relaxed. “Thank you” you whispered
“Anytime sweetheart” he said, kissing the top of your head.
#joost klein#joostice#justice for joost#free joost#stand with joost#joost#joost klein fanfic#joost klein fans#joost klein x fem!reader#joost klein x reader#joost klein x you#joost klein fic#joost x reader#joost klein short story#joost klein fluff#joost klein angst#joost klein fanfiction#joost klein the real winner of eurovision#europapa#eurovision
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Which of yours fics are your fav? Because I can say with absolute certainty that FES is mine. Savior was okay. And confessions has a lot of potential. I need to read the one with Geto / reader visit Japan and link up with Gojo.
This is so hard to answer, because each fic I write holds a piece of my heart. However, after careful deliberation, I sorted through my 43 fics and selected those I'm fondest of, in no particular order. For anyone interested, I included the links, and their bio :)
The Exchange Student Series (Suguru/Reader. Incomplete)
Take the role of a foreign exchange student who had the misfortune of catching Geto Suguru's attention.
Honey, I'm Home! (Satoru/Reader. Will be expanded)
After being trapped in the prison realm for so long, Gojo is in dire need of release. What better way to do that than paying a visit to his favorite girl?
The Sacrifice (Sukuna/Reader. Will be Expanded)
After stealing, the village priests select you to be sacrificed to an elusive forest beast to avoid his wrath.
Surprise! (SatoSugu/Reader. Complete, but I may do another chapter)
Your boyfriend of a year decided a trip to Tokyo would be the perfect anniversary present. He missed his hometown, and you always wanted to visit. However, he failed to mention that the two of you would be staying with his stunning best friend. He also failed to mention that the two of them liked to share.
Hide & Go Get It (SatoSugu/Reader. Complete)
Satoru and Suguru show you how to play hide and go get it, taking your virginity in the process
Orange Juice and Milk (Francis Mosses/Reader. Incomplete)
You're a lonely housewife, neglected by your workaholic husband, and you're 90% sure he's cheating. As your frustration builds and you grow disillusioned with your marriage, you come up with a way for some relief; Francis Mosses, the neighborhood milkman.
Oh no, he's hot! (Nanami/Reader. Complete)
After Haruta Shigemo was killed, you should've been terrified of the blond giant who set his sights on you. But instead, all you could focus on was how hot he was.
Pretty Young Thing (Gojo/Nanami/Ijichi/Reader. Complete)
Gojo forces Nanami to go to a hostess club with him and quickly becomes captivated by a particularly pretty young thing. Unfortunately, Gojo also has his sights on her. Who will she choose? You decide!
Castaway (Gyutaro/Reader. Complete)
When you become stranded in the middle of the ocean, a merman by the name of Gyutaro takes a liking to you.
Shower Time Comfort (Shoko/Reader. Complete)
After Gojo is cut down, you and Shoko seek comfort within each other.
Mr. Steal Yo' Girl (Dark!Gojo/Reader. Complete)
After beating Sukuna into submission, Gojo decided to rub salt into the wound by claiming the ‘King of Curses’ woman.
Tattoos and Tenderness (Sukuna/Reader. Complete)
While taking you to Pound Town, Sukuna evaluates his feelings for you.
Bunnies and Vices (Bunny!Izuku/Reader. Incomplete)
When you stumble across an injured green rabbit, you just thought you had a little too much to drink and took it home with you. But when the rabbit remains green, you realize you might’ve bit off more than you could chew. And when the rabbit turned into a man, you knew that you were way in over your head.
But, hey, at least he’s cute.
A Little Demonstration (Lucifer Morningstar/Reader. Will be Expanded)
When you ask Lucifer how he exactly took both of Adam's wives, he decides to give you a little demonstration
Blood and Breeding (Doppelganger!Francis Mosses/Reader. Complete, but it may be expanded)
When a Francis appears covered in 'scarlet milk,' you're unsure if you should be scared or horny. He makes that choice for you.
Update Edging (Nanami/Reader. Complete)
While his computer updates, Nanami calls you into his office for a little fun.
#jujutsu kaisen#that's not my neighbor#my hero acedamia#hazbin hotel#jjk geto#jjk gojo#satosugu#francis mosses#milkman#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#jjk nanami#bunny izuku#asks#my fics#fics#favorites#geto x reader#gojo x reader#milkman/reader#Lucifer Morningstar x Reader#nanami x reader#jjk sukuna#sukuna x reader#izuku x reader#aged up characters#jjk shoko#shoko x reader#jjk ijichi#ijichi x reader
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Classic ask but Batboys reaction to gn s/o wearing their clothes 🤞
Yessss i love that one ive read so many but I'm gonna change it a little bit and talk a bit more about the type of clothes they prefer and what they usually wear themselves. Just a headcanon about clothes.
Its gonna be a series cuz its kind of long .
Also i may suck at writing gn I'm sorry if I offend anyone or write something stupid. Im a cis fem she /her who grew up in a very close minded family so I'm really sorry just let me know if I write anything stupid and ill edit it okay?
WARNING - there is mention of bodies like some specification on what the readers body may look like. and a little about sex
Batboys reaction to gn s/o wearing their clothes - Dick grayson edition
dick grayson
dick wears a tank top and shorts at home which make his ass look hot(it always does).
He really likes it when you wear his boxer shorts or pajama pants or sweatpants which is tied to the hips and a simple cloth bra(if you wear one or shirtless if you don't) ( they're a little different from sports bra super light and so comfortable). but he loves just seeing you in any underwear and not just for sexual reasons.
it just makes him feel warm inside thinking how comfortable you feel around him and how your not insecure about your skin showing around him. for example If you had an insecurity about your stomach but can walk around in just shorts and shirtless/bra with him, it makes him feel like he has won against those stupid negative thoughts you have .
there is a very thin layer between you guys while cuddling And dick is really really warm so this way there is not too much overheating since direct skin to skin makes it uncomftably warm. I mean if you get cold easily you are welcome to take those off. Plus don't pretend that you wont slide your hands under that tank top to feel his abs.
When walking outside , Rather than taking off his entire coat to give you, he pulls you inside his coat so that you're sharing it or giving you the coat and then pulling you into his side and since your body is therefore pressed against his, more warmth. . he also will take off his scarf and gloves and basically wrap you up in it .
If you complain and say " you'll get cold tho" he'll laugh it off and say something cheesy like " you keep my heart warm..plus babe you know just how hot I am"
He loves wrapping you up in clothes in the gotham winter. " dickie your gloves are too big for me, I don't need glovess" , "bigger gloves mean more warmth, and you'll need them in just a minute"
you did need those gloves btw.
Also he likes wearing a little something of yours. Like if you wear multiple rings , he will buy you a much more meaningful and better quality one and then you're like " ugh I feel pressured to get you something you're too nice to mee" he just takes one of those rings that you got from a roadstand when you had change to spare and be like "we're equal now"
He will wear that ring everywhere , like will not leave without it.
also gets you a nightwing logo small pendant made out of the strongest material ( so u arent scared of breaking it) or some neckpiece he has been wearing forever ( he has in some comics) and it'll be long enough to easily hide (between your breasts/pecs/chest making it a fun sex thing )And wants you to wear it forever and never take it off.
He also likes it if you wear his shirts. Like dick wears these nice classic shirts which are well fitted ( a little tight too cuz its dick) and nice beige pants. So if you can wear his shirts without them being super tight( its hot when its a little tight around the chest/boobs/pecs ) or super drowny when you go to work , he loves it.
#Dick Grayson x Reader#Dick Grayson x You#Dick Grayson x Y/N#Dick Grayson Fluff#Dick Grayson Angst#Dick Grayson Comfort#Dick Grayson Headcanons#Dick Grayson Imagines#Nightwing x Reader#Nightwing x You#Nightwing x Y/N#Nightwing Fluff#Nightwing Comfort#Batfamily#Batfamily x Reader#Batfamily Fluff#Batfamily x You#Batfamily x Y/N#Batfamily Headcanons#Batfamily Imagines#Batboys#Batboys x Reader#Batboys Fluff#Batboys Headcanons#Batboys Imagines
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part one: the fall | cw: angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of sex
summary: your situationship? with kyle leaves you suffering
masterlist
your day was going just fine until kyle showed up on your doorstep. you don’t know how long you stood at the door, unmoving, with your hand on the doorknob, while you try to decide if you should answer him or not.
go away, go away, go away, go the fuck away.
he doesn’t leave though. he knows you’re there, he always knows where you are. he could sniff you out like a goddamn dog if he wanted to. “open the door, sweetheart.” it’s the way he says it that makes you tense up. you know exactly what kyle means. open the door or i’ll open it for you.
with a scowl on your face, you unlock the door and yank it open. you’re surprised the shit doesn’t fly off the hinges with the amount of force you’ve used. “what the fuck do you want, kyle?”
kyle raises an eyebrow at your tone, before flashing you a smile that you wish to wipe from his face. “you don’t sound happy to see me, love.” the look of annoyance on your face doesn’t seem to bother him at all, he’s used to it by now.
you’re not happy to see him. he’s got you so worked up already, you have to supress the urge to slam the door in his face. and maybe you should have done just that, because before you can even get a word out, kyle is letting himself into your home. he brushes past you without a word, duffle on his shoulder, immediately making you regret opening the door for him in the first place.
“kyle, you can’t just—i don’t remember offering you an invitation to walk into my home,” you hiss at him angrily, before closing the door and locking it. when you turn to him, he’s standing there in your foyer with that stupid pretty face of his. “i’m gonna ask you again, and this time, i expect an answer. what do you want?”
as if you don’t already know what he wants.
kyle eyes the bare foot you tap impatiently against the floor for a second, before his eyes meets yours. “i needed to see you. i know you asked for space, but i’ve missed you, sweetheart,” he explains, while tugging his boots off and shedding his jacket, revealing those arms that have held you down while you got fucked six ways to sunday.
did you miss me or my pussy?
kyle’s words are as soft as his pretty brown eyes. it’s bullshit. you almost give in like you usually do, and that’s the problem. every time he tells you he misses you, you rip your chest open and carve out a piece of your heart for him to take. that’s all kyle ever does, is take. and you let him, because you love him, even when you know you deserve better than what he gives you.
“don’t call me that!” a deep frown settles on his face at your words, the harshness of your tone surprising him. you’ve never been this way with him before.
good, you think to yourself. he could act like everything was okay between the both of you if he wanted to. but you? you were done pretending. this arrangement was hurting you more than you cared to admit out loud. no labels. it was something you both agreed on. it was easy at first, with both of you coming and going as you please. and then it wasn’t. kyle started occupying your space longer than he should have, longer than you should have let him. it never bothered you, because you really enjoyed his company.
kyle was funny, pretty, sweet, a good soldier, and an amazing cook. whenever he was on leave, he would take you anywhere you wanted to go. he’d even introduced you to his sisters and the men he worked with. kyle was the type of man you’d take home to meet your family, with no hesitation. how could you not fall in love with someone like that?
but now, you really wish you hadn’t. you were almost at your breaking point, not knowing how much more of this you could take.
when kyle asks you what’s wrong, the words you should have spoken gets lodged in your throat. you just shake your head and shrug.
i can’t do this anymore. i’m in love with you and i want more than you’re willing to give. if i offer you another piece of my heart, i will be left with nothing.
“come here, darling.” your eyes fall shut at the sound of his voice because you can’t resist. you feel like a puppet on a fucking string when your body moves in his direction.
when you’re finally in kyle’s arms, your face buried in his chest, as you will the ache in your heart to go away, he strikes. kyle tips your head up and pulls you into a bruising kiss. you clutch at his forearms to keep yourself grounded while you moan into his mouth. he has every intention on making you forget why you’re mad at him. it isn’t until he’s got his tongue in your mouth, and his hands are gently squeezing your ass, that you jerk away from him with a shake of your head.
“i can’t—we need to talk about this, kyle.”
“i promise we’ll talk later. i need you right now,” he murmurs as he closes the distance between you two. you open your mouth to argue, but it’s no use. he tilts his head to the side as he studies you. “did you miss me?”
kyle’s been gone for almost a month and the calls between you two had been limited. anytime you tried to approach the subject of your relationship, or lack of one, you never accomplished anything. derailment was kyle’s favorite tactic. and when you couldn’t take it anymore, you gave him an excuse to get him off the phone, so he couldn’t hear you cry.
“no.” you hate how the lie spills from your lips and travels to kyle’s ears, because you wish it were true. you hate the way he laughs, low and soft, because he knows it’s a lie.
you hate the way his eyes darken as he drinks you in. “lying? i thought we promised each other we would always tell the truth.”
you’re glaring at kyle before you can even stop yourself. you’re about to open your mouth to tell him where he could shove his promises, when you see him turn away and head straight down the hallway. you stand there, helplessly, as kyle waits for you to follow. you should stand your ground. you’re better than that. but it feels like he’s tugging on an invisible cord that connects the both of you, so whether you want to or not, you follow him anyway.
and when you wake up the next morning, to kyle’s absence and an apology text, you come to the realization that you only have yourself to blame. kyle wasn’t yours to keep. you should have kept your word. you never should have broken the promise you made to yourself. and it’s too late, you can’t take anything back. you can’t erase the way kyle had you pressed into the mattress the night before, with your legs over his shoulders while he buried his tongue between your slick folds. or the way he drove his cock in and out of your pussy while your pleasure filled cries bounced off the walls of your bedroom.
the only thing you can do is weep as you sit on the edge of your bed, with your head bowed and shoulders slumped.
you should have known better.
a/n: i’m so sorry. also that line in the beginning about him always knowing where you are….yeah :)
get ready for kyle to suffer in part two hehe
thanks for reading! comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!
#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#i think this is more than 1.2k bc i edited it again 😭#kyletogazwrites
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Quick lore question, did marie considering the idea of replacing 4 play into the insecurities she has later?
Absolutely.
I wanna preface this by saying one thing: Young 4 was a COMPLETELY different person before she got recruited by Marie. And Marie...responds to her accordingly.
Long read abt Hero2 events below!! Its. A lil messy sorry qisjke these are my notes
Young 4? A bitch.
Everything she ever wanted was given to her. Moved out of the highlands with an ego the size of a planet (and also bc she felt suffocated there), thinking she can make it in the big city.
...she struggled to make it alone. She had moved out bc her family was suffocating her with love, but now theyre not here, so now she feels homesick and underappreciated.
All that is expressed by her harsh, bitchy attitude. Shes gonna be mean bc no one has seen her for who she is. She'll show them!!
She finds her way around like this, and discovers that shes just as good at turf war here and at home. In fact, shes *so* good that she got the status of a rising star!
It aaalll just gets into her head. Shes "proven everyone wrong" now. Shes got the superiority complex and can back it up.
Marie...
...saw this. She was looking for a new agent to help find the missing zapfish. The second 4 heard this from her, she flexed her arms and...
"Look no further, your hero is RIGHT HERE!"
Marie at first adored the spunkiness of this new agent. Uuuntil 4 started thinking that shes better than her.
"Watch out, Agent Four!"
"You watch YOURSELF, grandma! Think Im a damn idiot to not see that coming? WAHA!"
Marie rolled up her sleeves after several stages full of her ignoring orders or sassing her out of nowhere.
Is that how shes gonna be? Fine.
When 4 finally trips and falls, hard, on a particularly difficult level, Marie pulls her to the side to fix her up and give her a lecture that tore her fucking ego to shreds.
She says something so fucking harsh like "That attitude will make SURE that you die sad and alone. I wonder how anyone puts up with you."
4s too hurt by her own failure to say anything back.
The reality of war finally gives her a reality check. Each victory is earned. its her life on the line. And the world.
She regains her spunk after saving the world.
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Silly 4. She gets the job done but it takes a LOT of pushing in the mid-stages. Its like she got legitimately bored after the initial super easy ones, and thought the entire campaign a joke.
She went back to her turfing life topside between stages. And she takes a WHILE to come back to her missions -- usually late!! And then before she even goes in she just HAS to yak Marie's face off with what she was doing up there.
"Youre late."
"You shouldve SEEN ME, Marie!! I was carrying that Rainmaker round! I was-"
"Pray tell, Agent Four. How will you keep participating in turf with the Zapfish gone?"
"Whaat? Cmon. Nothing seems to be changing! Theres still power through the city!"
"The backup supply wont last forever, you know."
"Yeah yeah. Okay. Im here now. Wheres the next kettle?"
This attitude is from her high school days, clearly. She breezes by everything so fast that she can afford to do things last minute. It affects even this.
That, alongside her talking smack back to Marie, is what makes her snap at 4. Its what makes 4 stick to the mission fully starting late area 4 and area 5. (This is also around the time 4s life was threatened. God help me in those stupid platforming stages)
Post Hero2, 4 more or less does what 3 does. Shes the "replacement" til 3 comes back. (That cant be good for her confidence.)
At the same time, she has to deal with Callie and Marie talking out what the fuck Callie did with Octaria. "THEY SQUIDNAPPED GRAMPS!!!" and all. Why help them??? They get into squabbles where 4 was the unfortunate witness to. And peacemaker. It does NOT help that Callie for a while kept putting the glasses back on!!!
4 wishes so bad she had help of any sort. She feels 3 might be able to do something but what does she know?? Shes never met em!! She just imagines what the missing agent would do in that situation.
Callie...was also the person she got close to. Shes fun (unlike the stuck up Marie), shes empathic, she opened 4s eyes to the Octarian plight. It made her acceptance of 8 later much smoother.
Im not saying shes not close to Marie either, I bet they healed their relationship around this year too. Marie's sorry she tore 4s ego the way she did (even if deserved...). Marie's much more supportive of what 4s doing topside. Shes expressing her pride in the agent she found much more openly. (She brags abt her to Callie at times.)
The three of them heal together in that time. 4 sees them as older sisters Im p sure. Theyre both giving her tips for turfing and -- Marie even helps her with homework, HAH
And...while I say that 4 and Marie are in better terms, there are still days where Marie blows up on her. Lesser extent than before, but shes *worried* for her agent! (Its a similar plight 3 has.) In those times, its Callie who has her back. ("Hey! Its not like shes not trying!!" Callie understands how it is, and she also knows Marie best -- shes the one who makes 4 understand where Marie is coming from.)
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stares at you........ can i get NSFW hcs of sloan both afab and amab variations with an afab reader............. i may crumble to dust if i do not slam the silly!!!!! /JOKING,, maybe 😳
YESSS!! Nsfw is so fine w me <3
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Venture x reader NSFW hc
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Warnings : choking, AMAB venture, p in v, just straight up nsfw
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This is so late bc I haven't check my drafts I'm so sorry
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• I hc Sloan is like really strong, so they'll put you in a dog pose, use their arm to headlock you and pound into you 🙏🥺
• venture loves when you dress up for them, in both ways, it could be a nice red dress, outlining every curve and indent, than it's off, on the floor while ventures drags their hand down every curve and indent.
• when ventures out a expedition they always get little texts from you, like how much you miss them, how you want them to fuck you, and those videos. They could be a stupid meme or a lover post, or it could be you using a toy, whimpering their name.
(when they come back they'll show you what's better LMAO)
• loves teasing you, gets nervous when you call them a good boy, but before you know it their calling you a good girl and saying "you clamp around my cock perfectly.."
• probably likes being tied up than being ridden, it's funny how they pull at the rope and rutt against you, begging for you to let them touch all over your body and to let them feel you. Yet they know it's already to late <3
• can't fathom you fingering yourself without them, whenever you do it and they catch you, you won't be able to walk for the next few weeks days..
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I DID IT SJSJFKF I'm so upset I forgot about this...
IM TAKING REQ!!
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#venture overwatch#venture ow2#sloane cameron#venture overwatch 2#venture x reader#venture headcannons
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When one side of the fandom lies bleeding while the other one is thriving or how I learned about fandom wars the hard way
This is a message from someone whose beloved ship rests forever in the depths of the ocean.
We had high hopes. It looked like our ship was afloat and ready to explore the seven seas for three seasons. Then, the show got a new showrunner who was very homophobic, and from that point on, the show and our favorite ship went downhill. Even though I'd been in different fandoms for about fifteen years and should have known better, I let myself get caught up in an unprecedented fandom war. Those who favored the Het couple were attacking one half of our ship, not just his character but the actor. Don't think they don't know what's going on just because an actor isn't on social media. We knew some crew members and learned that everyone knew about this fandom war.
The whole thing escalated until the show's final episode, which came to a more than undignified end after ten years. Knowing what he was doing, the showrunner wrote an ending that damaged the show and destroyed our ship. It was bad. There were words like, "Now we're dancing on your grave," and much worse. I was mentally at the end of my rope at that point. Then, the sets were immediately dismantled after the last scene was shot. It's something that happens very rarely when a show reaches some cult status. Our ship didn't even do a joint farewell interview for the fans because the actors left the set quickly and never looked back.
Why am I telling you this? Because I've learned to observe things from a certain distance.
We are fans of the same show but have different priorities and ships. As a multi-shipper, it's easier, I'd say. But those who are running amok right now because their ship is staying in the harbor while another is sailing away with flying colors brings back extremely unpleasant memories to me. But the same goes for those who are just as happy about what's happening and are starting to lose their grip. Please take it from someone badly burned: This is not a competition. This is not me winning and you losing. It's deceptive to think you're on the winning side and make fun of others for it. The tide can turn. We don't know what the showrunner has in mind. We don't even know that season eight might not be the last. Take what we have right now and be thankful for it. Enjoy it while it lasts. But don't be tempted to point fingers and mock others or say, "Your ship will never be canon. Mine already is. Your ship is crap. Mine is better." Also, do not be fooled by the fact that the haters in the fandom are a small group of people who only appear to be many because of their vocality and because some are playing the old sock puppet account game again to make it look like they are many.
I can only tell you from experience that we should treat each other respectfully. Not every Buddie fan is an enemy. Unfortunately, I also see another phenomenon that is becoming more and more common. Fans barely dare to post anything for fear of the crazies in the fandom (which unfortunately exist on both sides). Fans who have nothing to do with a fandom war want to have fun. And if they have a ship, they just want to interact with like-minded people. Which - especially on X - seems to turn into a gauntlet. Because suddenly, Your Rudeness sneaks into the conversation and starts pissing on the timeline. For clowns like this, the block button still works. Getting involved in any discussion is pointless. I also had to pay dearly for this realization.
"Never wrestle with a pig because you'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it." - Positive energy is much more powerful than negative energy. If you stay positive, negativity can't touch you. Oh, and I've wrestled a lot of pigs. Other than excessive blood pressure, gastritis, and countless sleepless nights, it didn't do me any good.
Stop participating in dick-measuring contests. Stop bragging about your favorite ship and how the others are nothing but losers. Stop saying we won because we didn't. Again, this is not a contest. We are on equal footing, and we can all coexist in peace. There is plenty of room. For everyone, for every ship, for every fan. Oliver made a single statement for those unhappy with Buck's journey and his current travel companion. He dropped it for good. And I couldn't agree more with the message and how he did it.
Of course, we would like to see more of our ship. Of course, we want the actors to have a relationship storyline to sink their teeth into, and hopefully, we get to see some domestic stuff and some hot scenes. But so far, that is fanon and not canon. So far, there is usually more going on off-screen than we see. We can only hope that this will change. Those who call themselves open-minded and tolerant while going on a witch hunt should think twice about what those words mean, and they should live them and not just throw shallow phrases around.
My wish for the future of this fandom is that it becomes a safe place. Safe as in a h*te-free zone. A place where no one has to be afraid to speak their mind. And a place where you can express (constructive) criticism without getting a shitstorm. Peace out.
#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#lou ferrigno jr.#oliver stark#buddie#tevan#kinley#kinkley#eddie diaz#rayn guzman#911 abc
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I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"
People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...
A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).
But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?
It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?
Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.
And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"
This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.
#writing disability with cy cyborg (unfiltered)#disability#disabled#writing#writeblr#writing disability#disability representation#amputee#amputee representation#rant#long post
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— bad idea right ?!
genre : tags. fluff, brother’s best friend, enemies to lovers(?), teasing, slightly suggestive, sex mentioned
pairing. brother’s bsf!han dongmin x gn!reader
wordcount. 0.6k
a/n. written in the dead of the night. i feel like taesan is just the most flirty in the most teasing way.
It was bad enough that you constantly had to see him because of your brother but now you also had to share a room with the guy?
You didn’t hate Dongmin, you just didn’t particularly like him, you had your reasons. He was what some would call a serial lover, he was on a roll, he had dated most girls, enough guys, and a bunch in between but that wasn’t why. You could have accepted him if he didn’t date your closest friend therefore ruining your relationship because she had convinced herself you were seeing him. It could be argued that had nothing to do with Dongmin and more to do with her self esteem but you didn’t want to hear it.
“Are you going to stand there the whole time?” he asks tired of ignoring your presence, it had been 30 minutes since your brother left with his girlfriend, he was the one who planned the trip so he went for the cheapest option which was a single room for four, except it was two queen sizes and so you just had to figure it out.
You sighed propping yourself on the bed where your brother slept. Dongmin didn’t seem bothered by it but he was a master at sleeping with people so it bare counted as anything,
“I’m not going to fuck you” you glare at him on the bed across the room, the action makes him smile, or the words either way he smiled and it felt so enchanting, you were taken aback by the effect it had on you.
“I know, I don’t want to fuck you” he explained, for some reason that didn’t make you feel better, it hurt in some odd indescribable way,
“Why not?” a quiet scoff escaped his lips, his eyes circling the room in disbelief.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” you can barely hide the shock on your face hearing those words from him, the smirk on his face was enough to know that this was amusing to him.
“You’re crazy” it comes out weaker than you intended, was your body actually failing you to Han Dongmin?
If you were being completely honest your body always somehow malfunctioned when he was around and you knew it wasn’t because you “hated” him but it was easier doing that than admitting that you found him attractive just like the rest of the population.
“Am I? You’re the one who thinks I’m some kind of horny monster” you can’t help but smile, the soft breath of a laugh escaping your lips before facing him.
The way he looked back at you blurred all your thoughts for that whole second where your eyes met, his tired eyes trying to figure out everything that you were just by looking.
“You’re not?” he rolled his eyes at you, acting unamused but the curve on his lips was so telling,
“I’m actually extremely romantic” he insisted, and you tried to imagine it, Dongmin, romantic, he did seem like a romantic, like he’d tell you poetry about how lovely you smell in the morning, like he’d get on your dad’s good side if it meant he could see you every day from then on. You hadn’t noticed before, but that was just how he seemed.
“Yeah right…” he liked your tenacity, you didn’t admit to things easily but it didn’t annoy him, it just made him want to show you, let you see how things really were,
“I can prove it, let me take you out.” and there it was, no wonder so many people fumbled, you wanted to follow the ways of your predecessors so badly but what was the point?
“You so want to fuck me” he laughed this time, with his hand over his smile, a small laugh but enough to make you smile.
It felt clear now, just in the few moments of conversation you had together it just made sense, and now he wanted you to see past the rumors, he’d never felt that urge before, the urge to come clean, “I’m not as bad as you think I am”
“Your brother will beat my ass if I hurt you anyway” you couldn’t argue that.
#boynextdoor fanfic#boynextdoor#han taesan#han dongmin#taesan#taesan x reader#boynextdoor fluff#bnd#bnd fluff#bnd x reader#dongmin boynextdoor#han taesan x reader#taesan fluff
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To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 11
Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤, Chapter 3 🤍, Chapter 4🖤, Chapter 5🤍, Chapter 6🖤, Chapter 7🤍, Blade & Reader's Relationship, Chapter 8🖤, Chapter 9🤍, Chapter 10 🖤
Special Thanks to @msun1c0rn @uhfhfhfhf @klemen-time @delulu-val @skyl8ver @ssecylia @xdrin & ALL of my taglist. I love you all so much 💕
Donuts? The delicious creamy-filled cloud of fluffiness that has you head over heels in love the first time you tried them over 20 years ago? And who would believe that they would show up at your doorstep being carried by your soulmate? Maybe you were exaggerating by calling him that but you two understood each other more than anyone else could. Looking up from the pink box you were staring at for too long, you’re met with crimson eyes pouring into your own, a small smile on the man’s face.
“Do those happen to be for me?” You smile back, opening the door wider to let Ren inside to which he happily accepts the invitation and heads inside before you close the door behind him and take the box from his hands as he removes his slides. “You know I don’t like sugar, so they aren’t for me.” He chuckles while hanging up his keys before you both go to the kitchen.
You set down the box of Sweet Haven on the counter while Ren invites himself to your fridge and grabs a can of root beer, knowing he doesn’t even have to ask since you specifically buy a whole pack for the fridge for him and only him to drink when he comes over. Levi enjoys alcohol and keeps a lot in the house while Ren finds it displeasing, and with how much he comes over, you didn’t want your friend to have anything to sip on during his (often, though not too many since you’re married and it would seem inappropriate) visits.
Just the thought of you going out of your way to buy things for the time you two spend together makes him want to latch onto your body and never let go, and Ren’s sure you wouldn’t mind that much. It’s not his fault you decide to do all this but like you always say, it’s the little things that count.
When he turned around and leaned against the fridge while opening the can, he couldn't help but observe your eyes lighting up at the sweets when you opened the box. Ren found it enduring. Since the box was yours, either way, you just stuffed one in your mouth while turning to him.
“Thanks for being here right now, and for bringing these. I needed company and I have no idea where Levi is.” At your husband's name, you could visibly see Ren's expression harden a bit, and it would have made you giggle any other day but you weren't in the mood for humor and he didn't look as sarcastic as usual.
“So he left you alone on this day, without even letting you know?” You swore you could almost see a blood vessel on his body pop, and immediately felt the need to soothe his concerns. “Right now is hard for both of us, I don't blame him so please call down, he’s dealing with this in his way.”
There you go again, always defending him even though he can see the hurt in your eyes. Ren was about to open his mouth to call him out himself and let you know that you deserve better, (Quite literally, he wasn't going to boost himself but inform you of how he should be here.) However, you opened your mouth again before he could.
“Though, I… He asked for some space from me yesterday night and I didn't want that. I want to be anything but alone right now. You know I don't like distance, I hate it. He should know that I would want to stick together as well, so why..? Do you think he's starting to resent me? Do you think he blames all of this on me? He-”
You fall silent once you look up to see Ren in front of you, one thumb wiping away the tears that have formed in your eyes, oblivious to you. His other arm was unoccupied, made its way to your waist, and held you tight against his chest. He was offering you comfort and you couldn't be more grateful.
“...It wasn't your fault. I'm aware of what you might be thinking right now but believe me. Don't beat yourself up over this it's him, his fault-”
It's all Ren can say at the moment, and he so desperately wished he could say more but his mind was blank if it was any other thought concerning you. Yet you didn't defend or deny what he said, proving it to be true in his eyes. He couldn't stand seeing you like this, your tears were so foreign to him and they broke his heart.
You can feel his broad muscles flex as he still keeps one arm around your waist as he reaches across the counter, grabs a tissue, and slowly brings it to your face, as if not to alarm you. It makes you warm inside, the fact that he's always been so gentle with you. Even as he wipes all the tears away you can feel he's doing it gingerly.
However, it wasn't warm enough for you. You still can't stand touching your stomach without almost gagging, you still can't think about the life lost, your very baby lost at your own hands. Ren knows his warmth isn't enough either when he feels and sees you trembling in his arms and the streams down your cheeks seem never-ending so he sighs and places the tissue down and replaces it in his hand, cradling your face back and forth.
It made you smile a little bit and you were about to apologize for embarrassing yourself like this but only a choked sob came out. You drop your head to his shoulder and everything that's been building up since yesterday pours out of your soul. You knew Ren wasn't judging, you knew he would never think of you negatively in any way and he knew you needed him right now.
~
After Ren had carried you to your living room and warmed you up into a blanket, he put on your favorite show and sat beside you. He wasn't reaching out to touch you, though it took everything in him to hold back from doing so every time he heard a sniffle from you.
He wanted to hold you, he really did and Ren knew you wouldn't deny him even if you felt guilty, but the thing is you're still a married woman. So for now he'll settle with being the one to comfort you as you grieve. After an hour, he can hear your soft breath hitting his neck. He recognizes the pattern in your breathing and doesn't even need to look down to know you're asleep. He'll carry you to your bed in a moment and stay in the guest room until you wake up and the two of you could talk again. Ren just has a feeling your husband won’t be showing up any time soon.
~
A/N: I'm backk! School's done and I have a lot of time on my hands so expect more updates, at MAX every two weeks (keyword, MAX) I'm sorry for the wait, thank you all for the encouragement to keep writing, otherwise I believe the hiatus would have lasted longer. I love you all. Also, I want to give a special thanks to a bunch of my taglist for always supporting my work and for the encouragement I got from them. They don't realize how much I adore them.
Taglist:
@uhfhfhfhf @xdrin @msun1c0rn @umi-adxhira @lovingnahida @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @ssecylia @skyl8ver @immahuman @meowmeowraven @01234 @markexplanation @esthelily @dawnofazrael @chickenalfredo4life @eccaza @jun-xiu @klemen-time @delulu-val @everi-eve @cluelesstoeverything @strangersomeone @lapinaenmicoche @alwayslegendarymoon
Borders by @cafekitsune
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#fem reader#blade x reader#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#ao3
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