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inkskinned · 2 years

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i both firmly believe that self-diagnosing saved my life and i think that the way tiktok and instagram have recently been spreading misinformation about mental illness/neurodivergence is incredibly harmful.

people who are looking for answers are already people who are in a vulnerable situation.

much of the misinformation appears logically sound; and is presented as definitive fact (prefaced with claims such as "research shows"). it's imperative we remember correlation does not prove causation. it is incredibly dangerous to make definitive statements like "if X happened in your childhood, you now Z as an adult." real scientists will almost always use may or other less-definitive terms. similarly, equating one behavior/experience with any single condition is also unsafe. many conditions have overlapping symptoms; and many people "mask" their key symptoms, even to themselves.

we cannot discern from a singular data point any conclusion. in official diagnosis, for a behavior/experience to be considered a symptom, it must significantly influence your life. many people enjoy an organized space. that is a preference. disrupting your daily life even at personal cost in order to prioritize organization is more likely a symptom.

again, a single data point is not an effective diagnostic tool. it is necessary and important work to catalogue and consider all unwanted/distressing behaviors in order to understand a complete picture of the person.

i will see creators in paid partnerships make generalized behavioral/emotional claims that apply to a large portion of a community, and then they will suggest that the "solution" to that behavior is through their paid partner/through their personal support. "follow for more psych tips/facts" is an incredibly evil marketing tactic. i very rarely see unpartnered/unbranded content on how to aid/comfort those behaviors and feelings.

much of the misinformation employs a subtle technique (called confirmation bias) of setting up a conclusion before "proving" the conclusion. "you know you have X when you experience A,B, and C." no person's experience of their conditions/behaviors will look exactly the same as another's. while knowing certain things might be a sign/symptom of a condition, it is irresponsible to consider it definitive.

confirmation bias is unfortunately extremely effective on tiktok specifically. the algorithm will notice that you interacted longer with the video that "proves" (through a singular video) that you "have" a condition. it will continue to feed you related videos that further confirm what you believe.

this is dangerous because we are, unfortunately, not good at knowing ourselves. i did not know it was unusual to vividly nightmare every night; i didn't consider it a symptom. i was similarly dismissive also of any other signs of my PTSD - i incorrectly assigned them to anxiety/adhd. on the small scale, this can mean a longer journey to healing. on the larger scale, it can mean people with extremely difficult situations are unable to get the help they need.

please, if you can, and you're looking to self-diagnose: be careful about what you assume about yourself. try to keep an honest journal of what you're thinking/feeling/doing for a few days.

do not go in with an assumption. try to keep an open mind. i think we all "suspect" we have something - but like i said, i completely missed my own PTSD symptoms, because i suspected the ADHD the most, and only "saw" those symptoms.

do your own research. if the tiktok says "research shows", google that research. figure out who paid for that research. do further research related to that study - has it ever been repeated? is it peer reviewed? do other researchers seem to accept it as conclusive?

if you feel you really resonate with the materials of one person's experience with a condition, find other examples. see if you relate to other creators who identify similarly.

and please - please do not stop once you come to a conclusion. i fully believe that the diagnostic process should be seen as a first step, not a destination. by knowing what you might be struggling with, you gain an incredibly powerful tool on how to gain peace with that condition.

if you feel yourself emotionally respond to a tiktok/etc that suggests something that might be true about yourself, i'm glad you had that experience. but it's also important to not relax into the "easy" answer. interrogate it. start googling what else that could mean; what ways you could work on healing that wound.

healing does not "belong" to any one condition. i want you to begin to look into healing no matter if you have "proven" you have a condition or not. it is never selfish to practice responsible self-care. even if you don't relate to having adhd, you are not harming me by using adhd-inspired study tips. it is not making my condition worse for you to seek peace by asking for more time on tests. even if it was - the fault would be with the system, not in your need of something the system makes inaccessible.

remind yourself that everything you experience is real. and because it is real, it is complicated. while things might be related - even sometimes clearly related - a stranger on the internet cannot make that discernment for you. you as a person deserve the work, attention, and care that goes into the process of unravelling the harm that has been done to you.

it makes me very, very upset to see how popular these videos have become, because they're so irresponsible. and they clearly are targeting a vulnerable group. for example, making generalized claims about children of unloving caretakers is targeting those who have experienced neglect. there is no way to use 30 second videos to correctly analyze what that neglect might have caused in your adult life. i'm sorry, but it's snake oil.

i know it is so powerful soothing to recognize that you aren't broken. that others exist like you out there. i want every person looking for answers to find their answer. i want you to feel seen and heard and understood. i want you to find your community.

i just want it to happen safely.

#every time i write this im like #i just want to say a short thing about this #and every time it ends up being 12 pages long #but since it keeps happening #and i keep seeing shit like this...#this isn't even everything i feel about this #i hope this is clear like #what im saying is #NOT ''you don't have it if u selfdiagnose''#it's instead....#you might!!! just don't let 1 or 2 videos confirm it!!#also!!! don't assume that symptom A belongs to condition X!!#even as someone who did eventually get diagnosed like #i still find myself being like - oh that's my adhd #only to figure out 12 hours later. nope that was a panic attack #also none of those videos are about how to HELP the behavior #also this doesn't talk about getting a therapist eventually but please get professional help if you can #it took me fucking forever tho #what im saying is that in the meantime #u can heal now #this is too long im posting it on a sunday so nobody reads it

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untouchedsoap · 7 months

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there is something sooo fucking good about early seasons ian and mickey, about watching this summer fling turn into something more, the fear that elicited from mickey but him being unable to stop, finding those little moments hidden away and taking all this meaning from small gestures and persevering in dugouts and under bleachers and barely pressed confessions in the back of a church that is soo good for my brain

like i am very glad mickey gets to shout his love for ian from the mountain tops and also beat his love for ian into his dad's face but when he was clenching his teeth shut and his love for ian was coming out regardless ohhhhh baby i was eating

#shameless us #gallavich #and also they actually gave noel something interesting to work with instead of 5 mins of nonsense in the later seasons but. what can you do #like i watch later season stuff with like equal parts 'good for them i'm happy they are happy' and 'thats not my boy'#yes my man deserves to be out and happy and a bridezilla but also he would not act like that <3 hope this helps #yes he deserves to be a diva menace no he wouldn't do it like that though <3 #yes he should get to heal from his familial trauma no he should not be forced to care for and interact with that man who should be dead #gallavich truly double edged sword of biggest win for fans and also biggest fumble #like ian's supposed to be one time hook up in s1 became his HUSBAND after years of bringing him back and sending him away rinse and repeat #because the writers hated mickey but audiences loved him #so yay they're married! time to have the most uninteresting plots for them imaginable & retcon some dumb ass traits on them for plot purpos #the last 2 seasons should have centered around ian and mickey becoming the centralizing force of the house that fiona was at the start #god there are so many tags here sorry. got more passionate about this than i thought i would #mickey milkovich

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astarions-carrion · 8 months

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****ASTARION SPOILERS****

God I LOVE Astarion. Larian was genius for this like, yes, we were lured in for the same reason he was damned in the first place: his looks. He can't control that he's beautiful-he just is. It’s been both his boon and his curse—it’s kept him alive and made him successful among Cazadors spawn, but it’s also what placed him within Cazador’s grasp in the first place.

It’s been used to shackle him for 200 years. We as the player can see that and become the monster in Cazador's place by assisting in binding him forever more to his trauma via ascension. He must embody a new role, but he’s bound all the same.

We played our parts well, falling for his looks, indulging in his games. We get to decide if we meet him genuinely as he meets us after he confesses and his trauma is further revealed. Will we continue to use him to satisfy our whims and attraction? Or will we see him for who he desperately wants to be? With ascension, his greatest 'triumph' is forever defined by his worst trauma. All because we want a piece of him...we want spicy, powerful, wrathful Astarion. We decide his sarcastic quips are worth more than the shreds of his humanity. Instead of nurturing his softness and safety—we indulge in the parts of him that are a farce: namely the violence, the revenge, the sardonic cruelty he used to mask his pain and avoid further harm. Because of that greed we choose to invest in, we leave ascended Astarion with nothing left to give, except for his body and this profane power-what he was running from when we found him.

We may not gouge infernal into his back, but we leave our own cruel marks on him. Carving his very soul from his body. The few bits Cazador didn’t take, the pieces he manage to hide away under a selfish facade. The shards of himself that he was JUST beginning to grasp at—happiness, love, hope—we help rend from him fully. Truly leaving him a husk, a tool, seeking to satisfy Cazador’s own whim still; only now with Astarion at the helm.

It’s tragic, it’s heartbreaking. It positions Astarion as a mirror. He may not see his own reflection, but through him you can see yours. A cruel lover that creates a merciless god.

#My Tav is a Drow and will happily help lead the spawn into the underdark to forge new lives as neighbors with the Miconoid colony #astarion #astarion spoilers #bg3 spoilers #I hope y’all are ready for my to post constantly about this man #you best believe he’s healing in my play through tho

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uncanny-tranny · 11 months

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Like obviously the whole "they're just doing [x] for attention!" is completely asinine because humans are social creatures who need attention to some capacity, but also... in your narrative, does everybody do things specifically for your attention? When somebody does something drastic or shocking, is it not because they're desperate for help but just because they crave your attention specifically? Does the sun rise and set at your command as well?

#mental health #i get why people say that but it does come across like you're taking somebody's real struggles and almost whining about how...#...they're trying to steal your attention and cheat their way into your heart #and that the act of wanting attention would be a heinous act that you must insert yourself in to fix #like i see this behaviour as genuinely selfish most of the time - taking somebody's cries for help and making it about you essentially #i was listening to my dad tell a story about how somebody's *daughter* had made an attempt and everybody was talking about how...#...she had done it for attention. how fucking cruel. how fucking selfish...#...i couldn't imagine hearing people be that impertinent over my *daughter's* life #honestly that boils my blood as an *outsider* and i truly hope the family is healing #suicide tw #self harm tw #sh tw #(just for implication in the post)#ask to tag (genuine)#just hate the culture of '[they're] doing it for attention lulz' that is still popularized #which is part of the reason the tone is snappy/snarky. i think i've earned the right to be angry at how people interact with...#...this stuff and how it's doing nothing good for anybody

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aphsillyos · 18 days

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uhhhhhh aphelios f2p this week should i try him out (i got scared just from reading his abilities but i think he's really cute)

aphelios is super simple!! i promise!!!!!! even a goofy goober like me picked him up!!

there's a bit more to him than just this guide of course, but the same can be said about other champions's kits & abilities/strategies/etc.!

imo you should focus on remembering what each gun does when you first start playing him. it's easier to take stuff one step at a time, and if you find yourself in a bind, you'll know what your current weapons do.

(better to know your weapons well than to try and follow a weapon combo/rotation and not know what your attacks are doing. you can still make the most out of a bad weapon combo if you have to)

this video was very helpful for a lil summary :)

short answer: yes you should try playing aphelios! he is cute 💞

#haitaksi #aphelios #me arts tag #there's more tips i can add but i just wanted to focus on the basics because he's intimidating as is hehehe #i hope visually this helps!! this is how i remember his guns and stuff ^_^#(disclaimer: im a newbie noob/beginner! but i can try and point towards guides/resources if you have more questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)#edit: forgot to add your ult also applies the effect of your current active gun x3 #green/white/blue are my fav ults. red is for panic healing and purple is if you REALLY need some guys to stop (i dont use it much)#but!! dont mind this too much i dont wanna overload info :3

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snippy-tano · 1 year

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See now I'm having a thought about Medic!reader who is on the tram with them and sees Tech fall. When they all wake up and Hunter ushers everyone to the ship, they stay behind and go looking for Tech and find him alive but seriously injured and unconscious.

They find a small cave and they hide out there until they know it's safe to comm someone to come and get them. Maybe Rex or Echo or Riyo🥺❤️

I just need reader softly taking care of Tech and him waking up like "you were supposed to leave."

And they say "I could never leave you."

Your choice whether the relationship is established or it's just hidden feeling that come out here❤️❤️❤️

Prooooooooooo

Thank you for this. This was incredibly therapeutic. I may have gotten carried away and y’all should let me know if I should continue this as like an actual fic. Because oooooh boy is it tempting.

Anyway, I hope you like it! And I hope this helps you just as much as it helped me lol

WARNING SPOILERS! THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR TBB S2 FINALE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK :')

Masterlist is here!

Taglist is here!

Tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life; @marvel-starwars-nerd; @mackstrut; @dissapointingpancake; @ahsokatano-thetogruta; @welcometothepedroverse; @fractiouskat; @mandaloriandin; @bantha-shit; @badbatch-simp24; @katelynnwrites; @s1st3r; @leotatombs; @torchbearerkyle; @rain-on-kamino; @the-navistar-carol; @bombshe77; @arctrooper69; @social-mockingbird; @littlebluebatbrat; @get-wr3ckered; @dangraccoon

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Falling

Everything happened so fast, you almost thought it was all a dream. Or rather a nightmare.

One second you were helping provide cover as Tech worked to get the tram moving. The next he had fallen and Wrecker was working to pull him back up aboard the train.

“Don’t you do it, Tech.”

It was the pleading tone in Wrecker’s voice that had you turning from where you had taken cover. You were moving towards the back of the tram before anyone could stop you. You stopped just behind Omega and looked down to see Tech raise his head before raising his blaster.

A pit formed in your stomach as you began to panic.

No no no no no no no no

“When have we ever followed orders.”

Then he fired.

And you screamed, loudly and gutterly.

The tram jerked upright and took off, you stumbled against the wall, blinking slowly. You could hear the batch screaming at each other, but weren’t making out any of what they were saying. You only held onto your trembling hands, feeling like the edges of your vision were darkening rapidly.

You only caught the shout of needing to brace yourself, your instincts numbly forcing you to comply.

Then your vision really did go black.

When you came to, everything in your body ached. Your ribs protested every breath and you knew you were in rough shape. You gingerly lifted your head, seeing yourself surrounded by smoking wreckage.

Omega’s voice had you turning just in time to see her collapse. With a groan of effort, you climbed to your feet, hand pressing against your side. You met eyes with Hunter and he hesitated.

Please Hunter, I have to go back. You practically begged in your mind, hoping he would understand.

It looked like he was going to protest, likely saying that he couldn’t lose anyone else, but you couldn’t let him choose for you. You had to do this.

So you turned and ran as fast as your ribs would let you into the woods. You could hear Wrecker and Echo yell for you, but you didn’t stop. You’re honestly not sure how you managed to move so quickly and for so long, although you figured it was probably the adrenaline.

Eventually you fell to your knees, squeezing your eyes shut as a way of hopefully shutting out the pain. You had bacta patches in your med pack, but you refused to use any. If you found Tech and by some miracle of the Force he was alive, you knew he would need every patch you had.

After your vision cleared, you forced yourself back to your feet and continued walking in the direction of your best guess as to where Tech fell. You weren’t running anymore, but you kept a good pace, knowing that the Empire would be out looking for Tech very soon.

If you found him, you had to move quickly.

Eventually, you found what looked like wreckage from the tram. Your heart began to pound as you began to pick through it, looking for any sign of Tech.

Then you saw it. Armor.

You swallowed your nerves and forced air into your lungs as you stepped over the smoking debris. The running of water nearby and the sound of your own haggard breathing was all you could hear. You knelt beside Tech, hand hesitating. His helmet was gone and he definitely looked like he had fallen from a great distance, but it was hard to tell if he was still alive.

You pressed your fingers against the side of his neck, praying to every god or deity you knew about, begging them that he would be alive. For a few agonizing seconds, you felt nothing.

And then you felt it, the very gentle thump of his heart beat. It was weak, incredibly so, but he was alive. You almost burst into tears right then and there, but you knew the Empire was on their way if not already almost here.

You had to move. Now.

Tech was bigger than you, but you had to move him and fast. You stripped off a few pieces of armor, tossing them closer to the large river that you were near. Maybe the Empire would think he fell into the water and go searching further down the river. It would hopefully buy you both some time. Then you sat him up, placed his arms over your shoulders and stood up.

He was by no means a small man. He may be the “skinniest” in the Batch, but he was still built like a soldier, which meant that he was an incredible deadweight. Your legs shook from the effort, but you managed to hold him steady.

His helmet and goggles were missing, but you didn’t have time to go looking for them. Your sole focus was getting the both of you out of there and to a relatively safe location as fast as you could. Tech had injuries that needed to be tended to immediately. In any normal situation, you wouldn’t have moved him for fear of a neck or back injury. But you didn’t have that option.

After a quick feel of his neck, it didn’t seem like anything was broken, which was good enough for you.

You moved through the clearing, stepping around debris as best you could. Thankfully the ground wasn’t wet or muddy, so the likelihood of footprints being left behind were small. But still, you zigzagged as much as you dared, stepping where there were already indents in the grass in an effort to conceal your path.

You were two klicks away when you heard Imperial ships zoom just above the tree line over you. For one horrifying second you thought they were going to spot you, but they continued on, heading the direction you had just come from. The burning in your ribs became background noise as you tightened your grip on Tech’s arms and began to move faster.

You had been walking for what felt like hours. Every inch of your body was burning with effort and breathing was becoming more difficult. But you somehow kept going. You knew Tech was still hanging on because you could feel his soft puffs of breath against your neck. It was honestly the only thing keeping you going.

The way you carried him was far from ideal. There were many other ways that are better for medic carries in a situation like this, but considering Tech was fully unconscious, the odds of getting him up across your shoulders were small. This was the best you could do in the situation you were presented.

The elevation began to increase and the burning in your legs only intensified. You stumbled once, your heart leaping into your throat. But you managed to keep a hold of Tech and when you could breathe again, you continued walking.

As the light in the sky started to dim, you stumbled across a cave. It was hidden from the air from all the tree cover. You almost didn’t see it from the ground due to the high bushes and brush covering the entrance. It was far from ideal, but once again, it was likely the best you could do.

You only hoped there were no creatures inside who had the same idea you did.

The bushes cut into your pants as you forced your way inside, but those were minor scrapes, you had much more pressing injuries that needed tending to on Tech. You moved further into the cave, hoping to get far enough that when you started a small fire, it wouldn’t be spotted from outside. The cave had a bend and you rounded it, blinking in the darkness. Your eyes quickly adjusted and you could see that the cave continued on to the right, but there was a wall running along the back. It would do well for hiding the two of you.

Your legs shook from overuse as you carefully kneeled, turning Tech so you could gently place him on the ground. For a few seconds, you hunched over, breathing heavily.

Your entire body ached, from both the crash and the effort of carrying so much deadweight as far as you did. Your ribs made every inhale and exhale remarkably painful and you breathed as even as you could to try and lessen the pain.

When you were sure your vision was cleared, you yanked off your medpack and began to pull everything out. You pulled out a small orb and hit it, bathing the corner of the cave in a soft light. You grabbed a small flashlight and leaned over Tech, lifting up his eyelids and flashing the light. His pupils dilated as they should, which was a good sign.

You set the light down and began to search him for injuries. You scanned him and found he had a lot of broken bones, but thankfully no internal bleeding. It was a relief.

You fell into an easy trance, pulling off his armor and placing bacta patches on his worst injuries and splinting where you needed. You very quickly ran out of bacta patches, but still did your best to set everything so the bones would heal properly. When you were truly out of supplies, you covered him up with a shock blanket, placing your jacket underneath his head.

You brushed a hand across his cheek, beyond thankful that he was alive and you had been quick enough to find him.

Your troubles were far from over. You were still trapped on this planet with a severely injured trooper and your own injuries. You couldn’t stay here until you both healed, but neither of you were in any shape to fight your way out right now. You could try to call for help, but there was always a chance of it being intercepted and you both being caught anyways.

You’d have to wait for Tech to wake up to call for help. Hopefully he would be able to think of ideas on how you can get out of your predicament. But for now, you both needed to get some rest.

You wanted to lay down, but you knew once you did that you were not getting up again for a while. So you climbed to your feet and grabbed a small silent alarm you kept in your med pack before heading to the mouth of the cave around the corner. You gathered some wood from just outside the cave and set the alarm before pushing through the brush and fluffing it back up once inside.

The small fire you made didn’t take long to start.

You would have to go out for more wood very soon, but at least for now there would be some warmth for the both of you. You found a spare roll of gauze at the bottom of your pack and got to work pulling off your own armor until you were only covered by one layer of clothing. Painstakingly, you wrapped the gauze around your abdomen.

It wouldn’t do much for the broken bones, but at least you had some support. They were crudely wrapped, but it was the best you could do for now.

When you finished, you eased yourself onto the cold cave floor. Your entire body hurt and was trying to lull you into sleep. But with Tech still unconscious, you knew that someone had to stay awake.

So you started talking.

At first you talked through medical triage. You walked yourself through your training manual that you basically had memorized at this point. Then you talked through a few specific procedures you had learned along the way as a combat medic. Then when you ran out of that, you started to talk about your life. You talked about your home planet, your family, how you grew up, your hopes and dreams then, your hopes and dreams now, how you ended up joining the GAR, your first mission with the Batch and how quickly you’d come to love them like family.

You were just beginning to talk about a holodrama you and Omega were in the process of watching when you heard movement.

You stopped talking and looked over at Tech. He wasn’t awake yet, but he was starting to stir. As quickly as your ribs would allow, you sat up and moved over to where he was laying. You adjusted the blanket covering him and hovered, watching as his eyes slowly flickered open.

His eyes widened and he started to sit up, but you placed your hands on his shoulders and forced him back down.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, relatively speaking. But you have a lot of injuries, so you shouldn’t move.” You said and he blinked, taking a few deep breaths.

“You are correct. I will take your advice and remain from moving.” He replied and you let out a breath, relaxing ever so slightly. You reached forward, pulling the blanket so it more fully covered him.

“You were supposed to leave.” Tech said quietly and you let out a sigh.

You knew he was going to bring it up eventually, you had just hoped it wouldn’t be almost immediately after waking up. It shouldn’t surprise you though, this was Tech you were talking about.

You played with a seam on your sleeve that had torn in the crash. “I could never leave you.”

Silence fell for a moment and you let out a breath. Everything about this mission had gone wrong from the moment you set foot on this planet. More than anything you wished it had played out differently, but that is not what the galaxy had planned for you.

You knew Tech would likely scold you, saying the rest of the Batch’s wellbeing outweighs his own life. You knew that he was likely correct in that thinking. The needs of the many often outweigh the needs of the few.

But with Tech, you tended to throw all that out the window.

You had never admitted it to anyone before, but you’d always had a soft spot for him. It started out harmless enough. When you were assigned to work with the Batch, he was always the one that never really seemed to take care of himself. So as a medic, you took on that responsibility. You did it for all of them really, but Tech seemingly needed it the most.

Very quickly after that, your motives changed from just doing your medic duties to doing it because you cared. Then it shifted again to just plain affection. You had no idea when that grew into a crush, but it eventually did. You never said anything, and you never planned on saying anything. Your lives were all crazy enough as it is that there was no time.

And if today was any indication, it was too dangerous. Anything could happen to anyone.

Tech cleared his throat and you closed your eyes, waiting for him to tell you that you made the wrong choice.

He surprised you by placing his hand over yours.

Your eyes snapped up and you met his gaze. “Thank you. Without you, I shudder to think at what would have come of me.”

You let out a shaky breath, nodding. His hand gave yours a squeeze and made no move to let go. Not that you were complaining.

“How are you feeling? What’s your pain level?” You asked and he thought for a moment.

“I am feeling like I fell off a train.”

“Tech.”

“Apologizes. My pain is manageable. Thank you for providing me aid. Have you treated your injuries?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes. I have.”

“You shouldn’t lie to me, cyar’ika.”

You averted your eyes as your heart thumped in your chest. “I did what I had to do. Don’t worry about me, my injuries were minor. Now you need to get some rest. The more you sleep, the quicker your injuries will heal.

“I am not tired. I have been unconscious for some time now. You, on the other hand, need to rest as well. I will wake you in a few hours, I promise.” Tech insisted and you tried to formulate an argument, but you also knew if something happened, you would also need to be rested, especially as the one currently in the best health.

He must have sensed your resistance fading because he gave your hand another squeeze. “Get some rest. Please.”

You found yourself nodding before you could say no. Tech seemed pleased with himself, but you were too tired to care. You tried to hide your wince as you sank down to the floor, but it was hard to keep your face passive. Tech didn’t comment on it though, which you appreciated.

“Two hours Tech. Wake me up in two hours.”

His hand found yours again before giving it a squeeze. “I promise.”

You tried to fight your exhaustion, but it all hit you at once. You drifted to sleep with Tech’s warm hand tightly holding yours. You didn’t know what would happpen when you woke up, but Tech was alive and so were you.

And that was enough.

#aaaaah #let me know if this needs to continue #because I'm kinda feeling like it does #like idk maybe i speculate on how s3 would go in a perfect world?#idk idk idk #anyway #hope you all love this and it helps in your healing journey :))#as we're all grieving send me any tech asks #could be requests or that you just wanna chat about him #i'm here for y'all #asks #askBri #tech x reader #the bad batch #tbb #the bad batch spoilers #tbb s2 finale spoilers #tbb spoilers

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llumimoon · 1 year

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Congrats on finally bonding with the eldritch god child you named and adopted !!

Dot is the Doodler from my AU! <3

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 #dungeons and daddies season 2 #sparrow oak #the doodler #cal draws #doodle dot au #hehehehehehehehe #i was just feeling very emotional abt these two <3 #been in a big dot mood !!!#something abt growing up and hiding your childhood self away out of embarrassment and shame #and then coming face to face with what's essentially ur childhood 'imaginary' friend #who need your help and who knows you so deeply #but who is only familiar with you as a child. and who still hopes and expects you to be the same #Sparrow will always be that intensely curious creative and loyal lovewolf to Dot #healing his inner child by helping Dot learn what its like to be a human child #hehehehehee <3 them #btw Sparrow is shocked in this bc this is the first time Dot goes to him for a hug instead of Normal who they're usually attached to

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nonoqy · 2 months

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i feel like i didn't really say anything publicly which makes me sound maybe too harsh at times but this is where i'm at. sorry i was too lazy to retype all of this so i'm just sharing screenies of my thoughts !

#and to be clear i do believe they deserve to hear harsh words right now! in fact they need it #the backlash has already started to impact them and i think stepping away from content creation for some time could help them even more #i do not blame anyone who decides to stay in the fandom but i just can't do that myself it's exhausting #anyway i wish we can all heal from this as soon as possible and i hope george especially does a lot of thinking and works on himself #no matter what you think about the situation itself his response was just not good at all #being apologetic and empathetic to the person that is visibly hurt by your actions even if you feel like you didn't do anything wrong #is not hard at all. it's actually very easy when you're emotionally mature #and he needs to finally after Twenty Seven Years of his life learn how to handle emotions

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lord-squiggletits · 2 months

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Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.

Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.

Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.

I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd #(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing #there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like #'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over'#they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow #that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention #honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep #i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something #that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters #is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due #tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer #that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier #so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively #also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain'#all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma)#'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit'#like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO #and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own #like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt #so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 6 months

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This is out of nowhere and just a thought but.. imagine if you're close with a tsundere FL and he gets rlly injured and passed out... and its the first time you get vulnerable because you dont know what to do so you stay close to him, trying to tend his wounds and just hold onto him while calming down

He wakes up to see you during this state and once you notice him wake up, you hold him much closer, hugging his face even whether he likes it or not..!

this hits even harder with the recent archon quest aghghhh,,,

you don't cry very often; life has taught you how to keep calm and collected in almost any situation, and you've made good use of such a skill during your time with Foul Legacy- he knows he can trust you, even when he's irritated or grumbly, to give him some comforting words and a few light pats on the head. but right now, seeing him unconscious on your bed, wrapped in bandages stained with otherworldly blood from your attempts to stop the bleeding... you break

Legacy stirs, letting out a near-silent hiss of pain as his wounds ache. there's something warm in his claws, and his crystalline eye opens to see you hunched over beside the bed, both of your hands wrapped around one of his larger ones

there are tears streaming down your face, and Legacy lets out a raspy, concerned trill, his normal grumpy demeanor fading. your head snaps up, eyes shining as you let out a strangled sob and fling your arms around him, touch gentle but firm, like you're scared he'll disappear if you let him go. Legacy squeaks in surprise, but slowly snakes his arms around your waist to hug you back. he rumbles faintly, running his claws soothingly up your back as you cry into his shoulder, his seemingly impenetrable heart melting at how much you care, just as he does for you

and you lean back, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a light shake with a serious expression. "Don't ever do that again, okay?!"

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #chit chat #you: MY HEART WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT!!!!#he doesn't like seeing you cry even if he's grumpy sometimes #will gently nudge you in hopes that you'll feel better #you help him heal no ifs or buts #(he secretly likes it)#short scenario #other's stuff #FAVE #good evening :)

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alchemania · 6 months

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Drowning.

(Emotions are overwhelming, sometimes too hard to traverse alone. Thankfully, she doesn't have to.)

“I'm accusing you of not being the Hydro Archon at all.”

Those words freeze her where she stands, and whispers fly throughout the courtroom, like vultures searching for a carcass. Wait, no. Nonononono. This could not be happening. No one was supposed to discover her, she had to fulfill the prophecy or everybody would die and all of this would be for nothing and– the glares from all around and the distrust freeze her in her tracks, and Furina can't breathe, breath catching in her throat so hard she chokes. “Wait! Wait!” she cried, shaking her head frantically. “Don't listen to what he's saying! I- I am the Hydro Archon I swear! I'm real! I'M REAL!!”

She had to be. She could be nothing else, or all was lost, all was for naught. She could not allow that to happen she WOULD NOT allow it to happen. There had to be a way, there must be some way…the water! Yes! She's moving her hands rapidly as she talks now, attempting to get away from the spider's web that entangled her further and further. Put your hand in the water, Furina, they said, and she did, she did, deadly determined to keep up the facade, to live out the role. But that was ultimately what undid her- the water, diluted as it was, would not kill her, but she exhibited the same symptoms as the diver boy- Freminet, was his name (he would be dead soon as well oh god. Oh god. And she knew he had only wanted to help, they all did, but they did not know that in doing so, they'd doomed themselves..)

“On the charges of impersonating the Hydro Archon, Furina-”

“No! No!” she screamed, tears flowing like a river. “Stop! STOP!!! You don't understand, none of you understand please Neuvillette LISTEN TO ME -” There was so much pain in his eyes, she noticed, so much turmoil. But he uttered the damning words, regardless.

“..is guilty.”

Guilty.

That verdict stopped her heart, and Furina stumbled back and crumpled into her chair, looking like one dead. At the eleventh hour, she'd stumbled. Five hundred years of lies and guilt all for them, all to save them, down the drain. It was for nothing. SHE was for nothing. What was the point of it all..?

“All this time, she lied to us?! But why?”

To save you, I had no other choice. But it doesn't matter now, anyway. The flood is going to come.

All of a sudden, a terrible shaking rocked the entire courthouse, and an otherworldly being, resembling some sort of whale, seemed to swim through the building, sucking in horrified onlookers. People screamed and pushed each other in a mad dash to the exit, and somehow, Furina felt her legs carrying her as well, running outside along with the crowd. Her worst fears were already coming into being - the unforgiving waves were rising higher and higher, and folks were scrambling - to rooftops, to the trees, wherever they could go to get away. Furina watched numbly, being unforgivingly bumped into and shoved aside as her people fled for any hope of safety.

It was gut wrenching, also seeing humanity shine through in these moments - someone helping an older lady through the streets so she didn't fall, a little boy picking up a frightened cat so it wouldn't be run over and tearing through the streets like the angels themselves guided his footsteps. But it would not be enough. Even so, she ran, splashing up puddles as her heels made contact with the ground again and again and again and again. “Get to higher ground!” Furina screamed, helping a young lady onto a rooftop. “Don't stop moving!”

The hands of disaster would not be held back, though, and as the people climbed higher and higher, some of them began to slip and fall- wives screamed and cried for their husbands, parents for their children, children for their parents, friends for their companions, and she could do nothing but watch it all happen, hopes and dreams dissolving just like her entire nation. “No, no no!!! Please! Stop!”

“Help us!!” People screamed, and she could not. There was nothing she could do. She was helpless, her hands were tied, and all she could do was watch. Lyney and Lynette held Freminet near to them as the waters rose, heads bowed in solemn acceptance of what was to come, and the boy sobbed, dreading the inevitable.

“It's alright,” Lyney comforted. “It's alright. You're gonna see your mother soon, you'll be together again, and we'll see our parents too- and - and we'll never be apart anymore. It'll all be okay.”

“I don't want to die!” Freminet wailed, and Lynette shook like a leaf, fear taking hold.

“.. I don't either. But, we'll embrace it hand in hand, okay??”

“Mhm.”

“I love you guys.”

“I love you too.”

The waters consumed them soon, and Furina couldn't breathe. They were gone. They were gone.

The next thing she knows, she's atop the highest building in Fontaine, and the waters lap at her feet, a silent but deadly testimony to all that had happened. She was all alone now…. everyone was dead and it- it was all her fault. Hollowly, Furina looked to the water, sobbing and crumpling to her knees. The water had changed - it was just normal seawater now, and she found herself frantically pawing in it, inconsolable. “Give them back! Give them back to me!!! I'll do anything I swear - I'll take their place, I - please!!! They didn't do anything wrong it's not their fault it's mine! IT'S MINE!!!!!"

Her reflection changed, and Focalors stared back. Furina yelped, scuttling back like a surprised crab, and sniffled. “Furina. Come here,” she called, and there was no anger in her voice, only sorrow. When the girl approached, the goddess looked ready to weep. “What have you done?” she breathed, horror marring her face.

“I- I didn't mean to, they- they found me out,” she stammered, “I-”

“You were so close,” Focalors mourned. “But it was all for nothing.”

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” Furina wailed, and the goddess sighed. “Please, I'll do anything - I don't care what happens to me -"

“There is nothing more you can do. You failed the task that you were given, and all is lost. I see now it was a mistake to trust in you.”

Furina's pupils shrank about three sizes, and she choked on air, shaking like a leaf. “I'm - a mistake?”

“Yes, Furina. You are a mistake. But it's alright, because I created you, and so the blame falls to me.”

“I- you - I had to suffer all this time, for nothing,” she wept, anger weaving its way into her veins, “You have no idea what I've been through! You don't - you could never know! It's your fault I had to go through all this! How- how dare you call me a mistake!!” Breaths ragged, Furina splashed the water furiously, again and again and again. “I'm NOT a mistake I'm NOT! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!! You said I was special!! You created me because you wanted me to live the way you couldn't!!! You created me because you BELIEVED in me!! WAS THAT A LIE, FOCALORS?! WAS ANYTHING REAL!?”

The reflection changed back to herself, and Furina was left alone with no answers. A beat passed, and the girl yanked off her hat and threw it into the water as hard as she could, screeching. Off came her coat, and her gloves, and she hurled them into the waves as well, screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. And Furina cried. She cried for all her people, and for all the pain she'd been shouldering, she cried for the pointlessness of it all, she cried because she was angry, she cried because she was tired, she cried because she was sad. And when she could cry no more, she hollowly stared at the waves, the waves that had doomed so many unfairly to a watery end. If she had just held on a little longer, if she had just kept up the act for a while more…..all would have been well. If she had been stronger, then..maybe..maybe-

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

Someone was calling her, and she curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her person.

“Furina,” the voice called again, and she looked up with red rimmed eyes to the heavens, chest heaving.

“No, not up there. Listen. Wake up. You have to wake up.”

“..what are you talking about..? The prophecy-- it's already come to pass it doesn't matter anymore -"

“Furina.”

She looked to the water again, and Tetsuya's face replaced her reflection, to her shock. “Wake up,” he commanded. “Wake up!” The image then sprang from the water, stopping her heart from fear as it grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Wake up!!”

Furina screamed raggedly, nearly tumbling out of bed, and Wanderer was right there, grabbing her face in both his hands. “Hey, hey!! It's alright! It's alright!”

“They're all gone,” the girl wailed, inconsolable, and he stared in bewilderment, face twisting almost comically in confusion.

“..huh?”

“Everyone- I failed, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please please you have to help me please - there has to be something we can do-” she can barely breathe around her sobs, and Wanderer shakes his head, slowly.

“No. No you didn't, Furina, listen. It was a dream. You were having a nightmare of what could have been.”

“Everyone is-”

“Alive, yes.”

“I'm not- a mistake?”

“....uh, excuse me?” Tetsuya asked after a beat of disbelief, expression darkening like a storm cloud had taken residence. “No…Who the hell told you that?”

“She- she said -”

“She's wrong, whoever she is,” he interrupted, and Furina sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Furina. I need you to breathe.” He took her hand then and squeezed, frowning. “Come on. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” The girl coughed harshly, sucking in irregular breaths, and after a moment of hesitation, Wanderer took Furina's hand and placed it on top of his stomach, breathing calmly. “Can you follow that?”

“M- mhm,” she managed, taking in a shaky but steadier breath, and the rise and fall of Tetsuya's abdomen guided her through the motions, slowly steadying.

“Good, good,” he nodded, as her breathing evened out. “..do you need anything?”

“Can- can you h- hold me?? Please?”

“Ah- alright,” he relented, and Furina leaned on his shoulder, sniffling roughly. “..do you want to talk about it.”

“..no…”

“Okay. Then we'll just sit here.”

And they did just that, silence only broken by the girl's quiet sobs.

“..what if everything went wrong??”

“The important thing is that it didn't. What you need to focus on right now is what you're going to do now that everything is over. It wasn't all for nothing.” He glared at her, then, but she could tell his anger was not with her. “And even if everything had gone to hell, you would not have been for nothing. Don't you let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.”

“..okay..okay. .. Tetsuya?”

“Mm.”

“... I don't think I'm okay.”

He gave a bitter, hearty laugh at that. “I don't think anyone expects you to be, Furina.”

“M’sorry if-”

“If what? You were a bother? You woke me up? If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here,” Tetsuya asserted, holding her closer. “Don't you remember what you said? Emotions are a burden, never the person who carries them. And when you care about people, you carry them too.”

“You remember what I said…?”

“I remember many things. More than I would like to. Important thing is, you're not okay right now, and quite frankly I'm terrible at comfort and all that. But I can promise I can kill whatever gives you hell. I'll be here when you need me, and if you wanna cry, well. To hell with it. After everything you've been through, I think you kinda earned it.”

“Okay. Thank you…”

"Mm.”

“... I wish I could hear her.”

“What?”

“Focalors. She's not here anymore, but I wish- she could've told me she was proud of me. That I did good. That - I was strong, and. . I did my best.”

“Well, I'm not her. But I think you did a hell of a job,” Wanderer muttered. “Sometimes you have to be your own closure and accept that the people you need most will not be by your side. I would know. And- if nobody else, you tell yourself.”

“I.. I did good,” Furina whispered, tears falling fast, and Tetsuya nodded, rubbing her shoulder to soothe. “It hurt a lot.”

“It did, but the worst of it is over. And you are going to get better.”

“I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna heal.”

“And you're not gonna put yourself down when you have setbacks.”

“. .I'll try.”

“Sometimes that's all you can do.”

“Mhm.” She looked up then, eyes misty. “Hey.”

“What.”

“I love you,” Furina smiled wetly, and Tetsuya blinked twice, eyes also a little glossy.

"..uh huh," he mumbled. "Love you too.”

“..What?????”

“I'm not going to say it again,” he huffed, looking fit to blush, and she squeezed him hard, laughing delightedly.

“You love me, you love me!!!”

"Yeah, yeah, you wormed your way into my heart and I can't find it in me to kick you out. Is that you want me to say??"

"Yes," she grinned, and Tetsuya sucked his teeth.

"I'm in your corner. That's the best you're gonna get right now."

She leaned her head back on his shoulder, and Wanderer sighed, looking affectionately weary. "Geez...... I'm getting soft."

"Is that bad?"

"..well. Not as much as I thought it would be."

Sometimes, life was still hell. But at least she had someone to walk through the fire with her now.

#furina #wanderer #genshin impact #oh baby oh BABY #i think so much about what furina has been through and no way she does NOT have nightmares #just. constantly overthinks about what could have been better and everything that went wrong and tears herself up #it is A LOT #thankfully wanderer is here to help wahoo #as you already know i really like these two i hope they meet i hope they hug i hope they get to heal #it's so funny furina has already been through so much and im here like MORE ANGST MORE ANGST #originally i was gonna have her nightmare be even darker but i was like nawwww.....lemme not do that...#but anyway!! i hope you enjoy this i am actually proud of this ome #4.2 spoilers #I ALMOST FORGOT TO TAG AGAIN LORD HELP ME. SORRY ABOUT THAT

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librarycards · 5 months

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Hopefully this isn't too personal- do you have any advice for someone who is opposed to psych wards or conventional treatment but really needs help with anorexia and adderall use? I don't want to "recover" and I'm scared they will permanently revoke my prescription but my weight and medical issues and dependence on adderall to function have gotten pretty awful to live with. I've tried to reign it in by myself but if I decrease the adderall even a little, I get really depressed and immediately start binging and purging. How do I get medical help without getting trapped in treatment I don't want or losing legal access to a medication I take several times a day?

so, obviously, disclaimer that i do not know much about adderal, i'm not a pharmacist nor have i ever taken it. also, i dislike the language of treatment/professionalized ED management, but alas, i use some here for ease of communication.

i think that harm reduction + some "freestyle recovery" techniques could be helpful here. by "freestyle recovery," i'm referring to the ways in which disorderly eaters practice healing outside the frameworks of traditional "recovery"/in ways that deliberately disalign from carceral / normalizing techniques. these can be practiced toward one's personal definition of "health," or simply as ways of living on without recovering as such. of course, this is up to you!

the first step here is outlining your necessities. do you need to be on adderall? if so, put this in the "necessity" column. do you need, at this moment, to stay below a certain # in size, or calories, or something else? put that, too, in the necessity column. once you've outlined some of these, consider what it is possible to "push" on –– for example, if you're not eating structured meals at planned times, this might be something to try - it normalizes your body's expectations for hunger and fullness, and helps a lot of people manage and decrease b/p cycles. if scales are a big concern, consider asking someone you trust to take or hide your scale –– this is actually something i asked my parents to do as a teenager (they still do to this day). if depression is a b/p trigger, it's worth thinking about what kinds of activities help you manage your depression –– for some people, that's exercise; if exercise is triggering, what about just going out in the fresh air? for others, it's art or music; for others, it's low-pressure (and food-optional/-free) hangouts with friends. also, of course, things like adequate hydration, vitamin supplementation, and maintaining a consistent eating schedule (even if you binge later!) are important to making sure your body can continue to survive without serious medical intervention.

you might notice that a lot of these recommendations are community-based: this is deliberate. it's not possible to live meaningfully without living in-relation. further, if you're experiencing hardship/crisis, it's absolutely necessary that somebody else be there to shoulder the burden with you. do you have someone around you irl not in a position of power over you that you can talk to? someone you can call or visit if you feel the urge to restrict or b/p? i find that the ways i harm my bodymind spike massively when i'm isolated/feel like i can't open up to anyone around me. even if you spend time with someone and don't talk about health stuff at all (though i also HIGHLY recommend having a crisis plan - your friends need to know what to do if you have a major health crisis), having a social release valve is incredibly important. camaraderie, being (at its best) reciprocal and nonhierarchical, is the opposite of institutionalization.

ultimately, your goal is simple but difficult: avoiding institutional treatment while maintaining access to an essential medication. while you are under no obligation to "recover," you do need to accept that the way you're living now is likely unsustainable if you want to achieve the aforementioned goals; maintaining your freedom is possible, but it's going to be really fucking uncomfortable. this is why i've emphasized skills that broadly fall under categories of "distress tolerance" (ew) and "distraction" (ick) –– you can and should not accept that your freedom is conditional upon "good behavior," but you do need to accept that in order to stay alive, you sometimes have to do stuff with your body that sucks. this is a universal truth for disorderly eaters. we can't go cold-turkey on what messes with our heads. instead, be intentional about finding the right balance of discomfort and safety. you don't need to "overcome" it. instead, focus on organizing your needs & wants, and tap into your networks to see who might be able to support you in achieving them.

#i hope this helps and love you sm anon #ask #ed stuff #going to try to go back and retag some posts w that eventually #anonymous #world healing #antipsychiatry

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