#honesty the last 15 chapters made me sob like a baby | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ascottywrites · 4 years

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The Angsty Post

Where Happy Endings come at the slowest of paces.

*Or, you know, sometimes not at all.

Rewriting the future by Synesthetic (Complete: 28/28| 106,631) --Steter

Two days before their planned bonding, alpha Derek Hale runs away with his secret beta girlfriend, leaving Stiles heartbroken. With the demands of his omega physiology forcing him to bond with someone before his first heat, Derek's uncle Peter steps in and offers a solution.

Backstage is Full of Parasites by Falln_Grce (Complete: 14/14| 61,346) --Steter

A little tweak to the Teen Wolf universe where Stiles learned to take care of himself from a young age. And despite going through trauma as a child, he's 17 now and has adjusted to the new normal as well as he can. With a soulmate-AU just to keep things interesting.

What if the Sheriff didn't turn to alcohol when his wife died... What if he focused all of his attention on helping a seven year old, recently removed from an abusive home, Isaac get settled into the Stilinski household... Where would Stiles fit into that world?

How I Long For Yesterday by sweetbutterbliss (One-shot| 6,017) --Sterek

Stiles blinks, his throat going dry, and he moves his thumb without thinking - liking the post. He feels a surge of petty satisfaction. At least the fucker will know he knows now. He stands up, his body feeling too heavy, and he blows out the already guttering candles. He lets out a sob of frustration when the last one won't fucking blow out. But he sucks it back in and bites down on his tongue, using his thumb and forefinger instead.

He throws himself into their empty bed without undressing. He lies there repeating the words 'Derek blew me off for Isaac' over and over. He tells himself to shut up while rearranging his pillow violently, but he goes to sleep with the refrain continuing its painful loop.

You're Not Who I Thought You Were by halcyon1993 (Complete: 21/21| 84,549) --Sterek

Stiles is lonely. The only person who really talks to him is his best friend, and even Scott seems eager to ditch him whenever someone better comes along. Following a stupid decision made late one night, his small world opens up as he discovers things he never before thought possible and he meets a mysterious man who could be the answer to all of his problems.

In Word and in Deed by lielabell (one-shot| 7,778) --Sterek

Stiles has stopped saying "I love you." Derek wants to know why.

(Once in a) Blue Moon by clarkoholic, skywardsmiles (Complete: 14/14| 60,051) --Sterek

Stiles and Derek are getting along, but they’re not a family, and they’re sure as hell not mates. Christ, they’re basically just two stupid guys who happened to get pregnant because of a full moon and sheer dumb luck.

We Are Made of Our Memories by JenyaKeefe (Complete: 9/9| 12,441) --Sterek

"I don't have amnesia." "Um, clearly you do. You're under a spell that's taken a year's worth of memories." "No. I've wakened from a spell."

Lost on you by devilscut (Complete: 7/7| 51,322) --Steterek

A deadly encounter with an Alpha changes Stiles' life forever - kicked out and betrayed by his best friend and brother, Scott McCall, he leaves Beacon Hills, but much to his surprise not alone. Ten years down the track, living a life he never dreamed possible, a chance meeting brings back memories of that night - the good and bad mixed with a whole lotta WTF that even now still has him scratching his head as to what happened.

In Treatment by tzzzz (Complete: 22/22| 166,937) --Sterek

Derek hires Stiles, a professional alpha sex therapist, to help him through his heat.

The New Normal by midnightcas (Complete: 27/27| 63,392) --Sterek

After Stiles gets hurt...again, Derek puts him on the metaphorical supernatural bench. Meanwhile, Stiles tries to have a normal life and make normal friends. But when a new pack comes to town and the Hales start getting threats, things start to get a little....not normal.

The Mating Privilege by Kikileduc (Complete: 12/12| 35,380) --Sterek

Stiles and Derek have been happily mated. The pack is doing well, but in hopes of creating alliances for it to do better, Derek accepts a neighboring pack's request to allow two wolves to join the Hale-McCall pack for a full moon cycle. They hope to form a blood-tie, or at least a long term friendship between the two packs. The issue is Kohona, the tribal leader's daughter, has her eyes set on an unavailable alpha wolf. This could have drastic consequences for their young emissary, however...

Beta read by the amazing Splash_of_ bi! Cannot thank you enough!!

Jokingly I'm adding this WARNING after having two separate comments talk about heart palpitations and others stating they are physically shaking or experiencing high blood pressure after reading the first few chapters.... WARNING: read with caution if you have a pre existing heart condition, Derek and the Pack may cause you to be upset!!

If We Could Match by forestofbabel (Complete: 9/9| 23,455) --Sterek

As Stiles waits behind the camera during an interview, he thinks he should maybe quit. Because, in all honesty, despite the charming smile the actor is pulling out for EW, Derek Hale is kind of a jerk.

Your Heart for My White Fences by zgdtx (Complete: 10/10| 29,444) --Sterek

At first, Derek was the one night stand that he could not pry himself away from. Before he knew it, Derek was the married man Stiles had fallen in love with. Then, Stiles was the little lamb being tossed into a pit of wolves, helpless and alone. There was not much he could do, no, not much at all. Dark AU.

Call in the Air Stike (Tell Them to Make the Drop) by WednesdaysDaughter (Complete: 2/2| 5,126) --Sterek

"How do you tell your best friend that the guy you were slowly falling in love with flat out said you were nothing but a waste of space, and you’ve secretly felt that way about yourself once or twice on a bad day? The answer is, you don’t."

Twyla Hale by FiccinDylan (Complete: 13/13| 37,123) --Sterek

After the formula of their go-to product changes, "Hair Day" becomes "Hell Day" in the Hale Pack household. It's time for Derek to call in the pros, imagine his surprise when he's presented with a wicked tongued white boy with honey brown eyes.

***sure there’s some stuff that happens that’s not fun but i think I would characterize this as light angst in comparison to the inherent possibilities of this fandom lol

Baby You're Beautiful by supernaynay (one-shot| 1,089) --Sterek

“God you’re beautiful.”

Derek hadn’t even realized that the words had left his mouth until the whole room went silent, including Stiles, who until about five seconds earlier was busy yelling at him for putting himself in danger yet again.

I want to do this for you by Late_to_the_fandom (Complete: 17/17| 19,323) --Sterek

“You must be delusional,” Derek deadpanned as he stood abruptly and stalked away indignantly to throw the broken shards of his cup in the garbage can. “In what harebrained scenario of yours did you think I’d say yes to this?” His heart thundered in his chest as he stared at Stiles in disbelief. “Nothing good can come out of this and you know it.” He paced angrily, his hands fisting then uncurling as he tried to rein his emotions. He stopped suddenly, his glare piercing and his words cutting, “I would never let you use me like this.”

There's Something About Love that Breaks Your Heart by Stereklover11 (Complete: 5/5| 7,835) --Sterek

"I love you," Stiles said.

Derek didn't answer right away. Then he said:

"I'm sorry Stiles, but I don't feel that way about you. Or any guy for that matter."

The one where Derek is bisexual but doesn't know it and refuses Stiles' love...at first. ;)

Baby Daddy by DiscontentedWinter (Complete: 25/25| 55,369) --Sterek

Laura Hale decides it's time to expand her pack. And Stiles could really use the money. And Derek... well, that's when things get complicated.

Bake to Remember, Eat to Forget by butyoureyessaidyes (Complete: 19/19) --Sterek

It’s 6:18 A.M. on a Monday, and Stiles is using his thumbs to shape the fondant butt of a Winnie the Pooh sculpture. It’s the most action he’s seen in a long time.

Or the one where Stiles runs his own bakery, never locks the front door, and doesn't know he's part of a werewolf pack (until he does).

Kill Me Once, Shame On You by AllTheseSquaresMakeACircle (wip: 15/?| 46,512) --Sterek

In the aftermath of their final bout with Gerard, things kinda went to shit. Yeah, they won. But Scott had violated some major boundaries. Jackson was still an emotionally constipated douche. Erica and Boyd were missing. In general, everyone was left missing a piece of themselves in one form or another. There was also the fact that there was a literal pack of alphas bearing down on them. Stiles was really getting sick of this shit.

(There's) Sulphur in Our Blood by WonderWolf (wip: 19/21| 186,356) --Sterek

"Harris put you on a recon mission with Derek. You. Alone with Derek. On a mission. Together,” Scott says, slowly. “Does Harris want you dead?”

“I believe so," Stiles says gravely.

(Secret Agent AU where Derek blames Stiles for his sister’s death and Stiles is pretty sure that Derek’s going to murder him. As if that weren’t enough to deal with, Stiles’ familiar keeps having public breakdowns.

Oh, and there’s a mole in the agency, so there’s that too).

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natashaashleymarvelromanoff · 5 years

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I’m so glad you’re back - Chapter 10

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8 chapter 9 chapter 11 Chapter 12 chapter 13 chapter 14 chapter 15 Epilogue

One by one, each Avenger jumped from their time and destination they had collected the stones from, joining each other in the quantum vortex.

It doesn't take a few seconds before they are all their normal size again and landing on their feet onto the platform of the time machine in the hangar.

Once they land, they all deactivate their quantum bands around their wrists, the nano armour retracting from their bodies returning them to their normal suits. The air starts to fill with happiness and laughs as the team started talking to each other and realised they had the stones and started to give each other high fives and hugs. They'd done it! But the celebrations the team had started were soon cut short.

Natasha watched as her friends embraced in hugs and told each other welcome back. But no-one had taken notice yet of her, and the absence of one of their own. Except for nebula, she wasn't celebrating like everyone else, instead, she was looking around and saw her upset face.

Falling to her knees, a loud bang echos in the room at the sound of her legs collapsing. Suddenly everyone stops and whips their heads in her direction. They all fall silent as they look at her face, there are traces of tears on her cheeks, her eyes reddened. It's after Tony sees her face that he notices that there is one less person in the room than before they left. Clint wasn't stood beside her.

“Natasha? Wheres Clint?” Tony calls out to her, worried about his friend he immediately steps over to her and bends slightly to wrap an arm around her shoulder. At Tony's question, the rest of the Avengers start to move their heads around and shifting their eyes side to side trying to find the archer among their group, even looking around the room in the furthest corners in case he had landed in a different spot or had possibly arrived before them. But alas, he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Once the group had finished searching the room, they all turned back to Natasha, waiting for her answer, the braided redhead carefully reached her arm outwards to the group, her clenched hand opened, her fingers slowly uncurling, revealing the orange infinity stone.

“Th- there-there was a price. A soul for a soul.” she could barely even whisper her words as she finished speaking.

Watching as her head dropped and she started to silently sob, Tony shut his eyes and held onto his friend tighter as he accepted the truth. Clint was gone.

The rest of the team watched Natasha and tony with sorrow in their eyes. Of course, thor rhodey and bruce’s reactions were more emotional than the others in their team. They had been friends for years, they had met his kids, his family. Scott and rocket were also saddened at the realisation. And nebula remained indifferent. They may have only known him for a short time, some of them only a few days, but he was their teammate. And today they lost him.

It took a few minutes for her to stand up and move, but with Tony's help, he helped her up onto her feet and led her away from the time machine and took her to her room to be alone.

The rest of the Avengers took a moment to mourn as Tony took Natasha. Rhodey, Bruce, rocket and Scott changed out of their suits and into normal clothes and went to sit outside near the lake. Nebula had wondered off, distancing herself from the team so they wouldn't suspect anything, using the teammate's death as an excuse to exclude herself. After taking Natasha to her room, Tony left to join the boys on the deck to talk about their fallen friend. Each sharing a different story about him.

Tony mentioned the first time Clint took them to his house, and that he thought Laura and the kids were agents, which made rocket laugh at Tony's stupidity to assume that the kids were agents.

Bruce only had stories from their time between the battle of new york and Ultron. Going on missions together, patching everybody up when they were hurt.

Of course, rocket had only just met him, but the racoon did share his thoughts about Clint. And that he was genuinely sorry about his family, and that he respected the archer.

And Scott, well Scott only really had memories from the incident from the accords. Teaming up, then getting arrested together. In the end, he and Clint had taken deals, both having to wear an ankle monitor for 2 years. It was a crazy thought to him. Ti was 7 years ago but to him only 2.

After the 4 boys had finished sharing, they make their way back inside the compound and into the workshop.

But when the boys were outside, Thor had gone to see Natasha. She had taken care of him for years, always making sure he was okay, keeping him on the right track. He knew how she must be feeling, she lost a friend, a man that was practically a brother. Now it was his turn to comfort her.

Knocking on her door, he waited until he could vaguely hear the soft voice of his friend telling him to come in. gently, Thor pulled the handle down and pushed the door open. Making his way in, he saw Natasha sat on the edge of her bed, staring into nothing, her hands in her lap.

walking over to her, the blonde god slowly sits next to her, the mattress dipping as he did. For a few seconds, he's silent, unsure of what to say, but eventually, he tries his best to comfort her.

“I spoke to my mother”

His words gain her attention, she didn't expect it. Natasha lifts her head slightly to look at the blonde.

“You did?” gently thor nods his head at his friend. The hint of a smile making its way to his lips.

“I miss her so much, she knew who I was straight away, she always knew what to say and what to do”

This makes Natasha smile when he mentions his mother's maternal instinct.

“I bet she did. Us moms always know what to do.”

“If she was here, I know she would do a better job of comforting you as you said, mothers always know what to do, especially to make you feel better. I know Clint was your oldest friend and I'm deeply sorry about him and I will remember him forever for his bravery.”

Turning to face his friends, thor reaches out his arms and pulls her into a hug, practically engulfing her frame with his. But she didn't mind, Natasha just returned the hug, grateful for the comfort.

“Thank you, Natasha, for being there for me always.” Natasha meant a lot to Thor, she really did. She was one of the only people he kept in contact with after all these years, and after losing his people and last of his family she comforted him and practically became his family, she was like a sister, and her son his nephew.

“Your basically my big brother Thor, ill always be there for you,” she said back, her nose quietly sniffling.

“And I, you. I know if Clint was here he would demand I look out for you and have your 6, and when we get everyone back, ill make sure to tell his family that he will forever reside in Valhalla for his sacrifice and that he was the best of us.”

Slightly pulling away from their hug, thor stretched his neck to the side and gave a gentle kiss to Natasha's cheek.

“ in all honesty Natasha, I can't help but be glad you came back. As awful as it sounds.”

She took no offence to his words, she knew he felt guilty to say it considering her return came at a price.

“It's okay Thor, I know what you mean. We fought when we were on vormir, em and Clint. Neither of us wanted each other to do it, and for a few seconds, I thought it was gonna be me. I jumped and then the idiot jumped after me. But in those few seconds when I was falling, all I could think about was James.”

At the mention of her son, her eyes start to water. She hadn't realised before when she and Clint were on vormir how serious it actually was. She would have died. Gone forever. She would have never seen her baby again.

“I'm forever in his debt. Even now he's gone. He gave his life to save mine, to save everyone. So I could see my son again, I can't imagine not seeing him, the thought of not being there for him. Clint gave me another chance at life today. He's a hero,”

“Yes he is.” thors heart nearly broke at her words, she talked about not being able to see her son anymore, and that Clint has saved her again. He couldn't himself imagine her not being here either. Natasha had been such a constant these past few years, both her and his nephew.

Natasha wiped the tears that had fell from her face, finally calmed down. After making sure she was okay, Thor and Natasha both left to join the rest of their friends in the workroom, where Scott, Tony, rocket and Bruce were now constructing their own gauntlet.

……

Standing in the back of the room, Natasha watched as the genius, hulk and racoon worked to insert the infinity stones into the iron gauntlet. Thor and rhodey were stood on her left also watching the three work, but nebula was nowhere to be seen and hadn't since they got back.

Natasha had noticed nebula had been absent for a while, but just put it down to her wanting to let them have their time to mourn.

Everyone minus the blue cyborg watched tensely as the metal hands of the machine picked up each stone and place them into the gauntlet one by one, it was nervewracking watching them attach to the metal. rocket, tony and Bruce watched up close to the glass as the machine placed the last one. With all 6 stones now attached, the gauntlet let off a glow of power.

“BOO!” the sudden fright make tony and bruce jump a mile. All rocket could do was laugh at them for jumping at his joke. nothing was going to happen when they placed them in the metal of course, but rocket couldn't help himself, it was too much of a good opportunity.

With the gauntlet assembled, the rest of the team suited up.

It was time.

“You saw what those stones did to Thanos, they almost killed him. None of you could survive that.” Bruce knew he had to be the one to do it. It was just logical. He couldn't let thor do it, even with his persistence he wouldn't let the god try. Bruce knew Thor had felt enormous guilt from not killing Thanos the day of the snap, Thor was still mentally trying to heal and move on, he wasn't in the right shape of mind. Not to mention he had a race of people he had to take care of.

Walking over closer to him to speak, Natasha put her hands on her hips, like a mother scolding her child and looked up to reach the green man's eyes.

“How do we know you will?” the braided redhead was obviously concerned, she didn't want anything to happen to her friend, not after just losing her oldest one.

“You don't. But the radiation’s mostly gamma. It's like I was made for this.” not fighting his words anymore, Natasha nodded. There was no stopping him and truth be told she knew he was right. She knew none of the rest of them wouldn't be able to take that kind of power. If it was going to be any of them that had a chance of coming out of this alive. It was Bruce.

The 6 other Avengers spread themselves around the room, Natasha was kept shielded behind Tony and his virtual shield whilst also holding her soldiers rounded one, tony suited up in his nono tech iron man suit.

Scott kept by the door and activated his helmet for extra protection. Thor and rocket stood opposite to Natasha and tony, also shielding themselves from any blows the stones may cause, and just in case, thor held Mjolnir and Stormbreaker in defence.

And in the middle of the room, Bruce stood holding the iron gauntlet, waiting to put it on. Once he was sure his friends were protected from the more than likely blast, he lifted his left arm holding the glove up and guided it to his right hand.

The small metal glove moved and adjusted itself to fit bruces hand as he glided it inside. The once human-sized glove was now able to fit his larger one.

Once on, the stone's power raced through bruces arm and body, making him scream in pain and fall to his knees. The stones were powerful, more powerful than anything in the universe, and now it was coursing through his veins.

Inbetween his screams he could hear his teammates telling him to remove it. Begging for him to take it off. But he refused. He could do this.

He had to do this.

Raising his right gloved arm, Bruce took a deep breath, in and out so gently. He bent his ring finger and thumb towards each other, placing the tips against the other. All it took was one slight movement and then...

Snap.

--------

Once they had returned to the facility, nebula had swiftly made her exit from the strangers around her. She supposed they were the people the traitor was on a team with. Once the rest of them had discovered one of their own had died, she took the opportunity to leave and separated from them, giving them a reason to believe she was mourning. She didn't know if the older version of herself had known this man properly, but even if she did or didn't, her absence would be assumed as a sign of mourning.

But unbeknownst to them, she wasn't their nebula. The blue cyborg avoided the teammates as best she could whilst they gathered out near the lake and also when they built the gauntlet. She kept an eye on them to make sure they wouldn't follow or suspect her as she made her way to the quantum time machine.

Before she had jumped, she had taken the particles and suit off her doppelganger and gave them to her father. With the help of his minions, he managed to create more of the particles so he could use them to come to the future. Now all she had to do was activate the machine, allowing Thanos to arrive in 2023.

Once she knew they were all occupied with the green monster and the gauntlet, nebula made her way fro the hangar, retracing her steps to find the room.

Walking over to the machinery that filled half the space, nebula got up close to the control panel, she was unsure of which button to press at first, but she was smart, this is what she had been trained for years for. But in the end, it wasn't that hard to figure out. To her right was a big red button. She couldn't help but sigh and roll her eyes.

Terrans are unbelievable, she thought.

Just as she hit the button, nebula felt a surge of power pass through her body. And travel through the rest of the building.

The green monster.

He did it.

But it didn't matter, because after a few seconds of activating the machine, the sanctuary II was transported into their air space. The massive, dark ship hovering above the building.

Thanos was here.

…..

Once Bruce had clicked his fingers, the power was too much for him that he almost passed out at the energy surging through his arm and body. Each of his friends ran over instantly as he fell, disregarding their shields, rocket, rhodey, and Tony worked to take the glove of his now damaged and charred arm. it looked smaller than the other, the power had obviously taken its toll, so Natasha and Thor tried to keep him awake. But Scott walked towards the window instead, his attention taken by something outside.

As lang got closer to the glass, he noticed it looked slightly brighter outside, as if the clouds had gone away to let the sunshine through at the act Bruce had done. Then he heard something. chirping.

Scott had been at this exact window before Bruce had snapped. Before they even asked for Tony's help. When he first arrived a few days ago. But there had been no birds there before.

And here, right in front of him, there were two birds chirping away as if nothing had happened.

Scotts face lite up in realisation, a huge smile gracing his face.

“Guys we did it.”

The rest of his team turn to look at him as he shouted out. All in slight disbelief.

Then a buzz started to ring out.

It was a phone, turning her head Natasha looked in the other direction of Scott towards the sound of the vibrations. Leaving thro to help Bruce. Step by step she walked over to look at it. Picking up the small object and Holding it in her hand she turned it over in her fingers to see the caller ID.

Laura.

Natashas breath caught in her throat as she looked at the picture and read the name that was saved in Clint's phone. He still had her saved after all these years, there was even a little heart next to her name.

Since Scott and Natasha were occupied on opposite sides of the room, The rest of the boys carried on to help Bruce with his arm and also had slight celebrations behind her, but Natasha could only focus on the phone.

It rang out a few more times before Natasha could answer. Swiping her finger along with the touch screen button, the mother answered the phone, slowly bringing it up to her ear.

Natasha held her breath. It couldn't be anyone else calling this phone. It was Clint's phone, and it was lauras number. It was Laura. She was calling him, Scott was right. They brought everyone back. She could just about hear the sound of lauras voice worry down the phone a voice she hadn't heard for years, but before she could respond, the compound trembled with the force of a hit.

And then everything went black.

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chloehl10 · 5 years

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I was tagged by the lovely @pocketsunshineharry, thank you so much, love!

All answers should be about works published in 2018. (Skip any questions you don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can answer them if they want.)

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 29. Oops. Lol

2. Word count posted for the year:

1,725,628. That’s 1.7 million words. I have no excuse.

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

A Lot Of Fight Left In Me You Bring Me Home Wonder How I Ever Made It Through Don’t You Remember? I Got Me An Appetite Tell Me That You Want Me Tonight Piece by Piece Hallelujah You’re Home Lucky Ones To Carry Love (I Can Show You How To) Slow Dance I Will Answer All Your Wishes You’ve Got This Spell On Me Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby Baby, Honey It’s Coming Home You’re My Only Hope Right Here Waiting Remedy I Knew You Were Waiting For Me With The Strength To Carry On Baby We Could Be Enough Lost Without You We’ve Already Won Feels Like Christmas Let Me Be Your Star Made From Love Fairytale of New York You Were Made To Be Mine (wip)

4. Fandoms I wrote for:

One Direction 5. Pairings:

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson 6. Story with the most

Kudos: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 2,125 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) - 1,177 Bookmarks: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 532 / Lucky Ones (complete) - 403 Comments: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 3,111 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) - 1,212

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

There’s two. You Were Made To Be Mine because I love it, and I think I’ve really created a world for these two characters, and Jacob is just one of my favourite characters I’ve ever written. Also Let Me Be Your Star. This was written on a whim after something on Twitter, and it’s just been so well received. I was proud of how accurately I wrote Louis, even before we saw on him on X Factor, and I’m just really proud of how it all went.

Oh and I have to mention my first long fic A Lot of Fight Left In Me. My heart and soul went into that story, and I love it so much. And Piece by Piece, this fic will always be so special to me.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I don’t want to say. I do have one, and in a way, I am tempted to orphan it. But hey.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

This was hard. I’m going for this from YWMTBM chapter 56. “Lou….” Harry shuffled their bodies until his own legs were out in front of him, Louis’ body against his, silence broken by only Louis’ sobs, and Harry’s breaths. “Louis… you know it’s okay to not be okay, right? It’s not a weakness, sweetheart… you’re just, you’re just human.. Don’t ever be ashamed of hurting because I want to be the one you turn to… not the one you run away from, yeah? I want to share your burdens, wipe away your tears… hold you when you cry. Because I love you, Louis… so much, you have no idea how much.”

“Harry, I-”

“No, it’s my turn. Listen to me, please?” Louis nodded, more tears falling as Harry started to speak. He didn’t know if there was anything Harry could say to change his mind about this. No pretty words to fix it.

“You need to trust that I’m not going to run away when things get a little bit tough. Because I’m not, not now, not ever. You’ve been pushing me away, Louis, so fucking hard, and it hurt so bad because you wouldn’t let me in when all I wanted to do was help. I just want to be there for you-”

“But you nearly weren’t-” Louis whispered, the words falling from his lips. “You nearly left me, Harry… I… you nearly died, and you nearly left me. I had to listen to a doctor tell me that they didn't know if you were ever gonna wake up. I was nearly alone again, like before. I’ve never been so scared, Harry. I can’t bear the thought of you being taken away from me. I don’t want you to leave. It’s been easier to push you away, knowing that you would leave by your own free will, than losing you any other way.”

“I didn't want to leave… you have to know I never would have wanted that, Lou...” Harry was crying again now, reliving those awful memories, things he’d pushed deep down long ago, realising with horror that Louis had never moved on, had never really talked about how he felt when Harry had had his accident… how he’d nearly lost his husband. “But I’m here now, yeah? I don’t want to leave you, Louis. I want to grow old with you, and hold your hand every single day. I want to wake up to your beautiful blue eyes, and I want to share your pain, and your hurt. I want you to trust me, to let me do that for you.”

“You were there for me when I had my accident. You were my rock. You kept me going when I wanted to give up. When the physio was too much, I just wanted to give in, but you made me strong, Louis. You encouraged me… you believed in me. But now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to support you, to believe in you, like I promised when I married you. Please let me be there for you-” Harry’s voice cracked on the last word, meeting Louis’ eyes.

All Louis could see was honesty and love. There was a sincerity in Harry’s words that he just believed, and finally, he reached down, watching as his smaller hand sat on Harry’s, their fingers mingling gently, cautiously, as if they were afraid to touch. Louis bent his fingers, letting Harry clasp his hand in return. What seemed like such a small step seemed enormous to Louis, but he knew Harry was the only person he would ever want to be vulnerable with.

Despite everything… despite how hard Louis had tried to push him away, Harry wasn’t going anywhere. Harry loved him, and he loved Harry, more than he could ever say. He looked back into the eyes of his husband, the one who loved him in spite of his faults, who loved him because of them. Harry didn't see a broken man who he needed to fix. He just saw his Louis. Louis’ bottom lip wobbled as he stared deep into Harry’s eyes, as if he were looking into his soul, seeing the other half of himself.

12. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Some of the comments I get make me want to cry, honestly. I’m not sure people know how much leaving a comment on AO3 means to authors. I’d be hard pressed to find just one, but anything where people can relate to my writing in their real life is always very touching. Here’s one that moved me deeply recently from my christmas fic Feels Like Christmas:

“Im not gonna lie, I had to take breaks reading this because it was SO SAD in parts, in between being so beautiful.Harry was just like an angel of Christmas in this and your Louis seemed, to me, to be VERY realistic. I can't imagine how losing Jay has affected him in general but especially on his birthday and at Christmas. She was such a beautiful mum and it still breaks my heart to read of her. The cemetery scene was perfection but heart-breakingly sad.I loved Harry delivering treats to the "neighbour" who turned out to be Louis. I wish I had a Harry :)Your writing was so sensory - which is something considering I'm Australian and rarely seen snow lol But the smells, sights etc of Christmas were just amazing.Terrific job, loved it :)“

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I went through a period of getting negative comments on YWMTBM and that was very hard to push through and tell the story I wanted to tell. But I did, and I am proud I did, because I write for me and that’s the most important thing. I have a story to finish, and I’m determined to. I also found the scenes in the middle of YWMTBM very hard and emotional, and I got caught up in Louis’ mindset for a while, which was very tough.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I wrote a section of YWMTBM where Louis was struggling a lot with his mental health, and I surprised myself by delving into a subject like that. It was quite different for me, but I hope I did it justice, and that people could understand Louis’ actions. Also I wrote an mpreg birth scene which I never expected to do lol.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I feel my writing as a whole got better, I got more confident, and I was more able to craft stories.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

To not take on so much lol, although I love writing so much.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I’ve worked so much with @thecompasspointstohome, one of my closest friends and she’s so much of an inspiration to me, no matter how much she ignores that I tell her that. She’s amazing, and my work would be a mess without her. I am forever grateful to have her.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes, a bit of a sad one. A child in my class in battling leukaemia at the moment, and he was the inspiration behind Mia and her story in A Lot Of Fight Left In Me. He still has his down days, but he’s an amazingly strong child and I hope he has the ending that Mia, Olly, Louis and Harry have in that story.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for you. That’s the most important thing I’ve found.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

My BDSM fic, and my Harry Potter exchange fic. I also have my fic for the Fanworks for Charity to write, as well as updating YWMTBM. I also have a few other stories in the works so wait and see :) Oh, and my tearjerker fic which I’ve been teasing forever on Twitter, oops...

21. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Anyone who wants to do it, please do so!

#my fic in 2018 #my 2018 on ao3 #larry fic #lovelarry10

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 6 years

Text

Keep My Heart Part 15

Summary: Molly has spent most of her adult life coping with her chronic illness. Everything seemed so typical and mundane until Chris Evans stumbles into her life. She thought she would just wait for her premature death but he gives her a will to keep living.

Chapter Summary: Molly tries not to panic when she comes to the realization of how close she and Chris are.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, mild sexual themes

I heard Chris humming when I woke up. The bedroom was still dark but a light was filtering in from under the bathroom door. I wasn’t sure what time it was. Chris had heavy curtains to block out any sort of light from outside. I rolled over and saw Dodger was still asleep at the foot of the bed so it couldn’t have been that late in the morning because he usually didn’t sleep in.

I blinked a few times and reached for my phone. There was an automatic text reminder from my pharmacy, telling me to pick up my medication. I sighed and ran a hand over my face. It was only eight in the morning on a Saturday. But that usually meant that Chris had already gone for a run and was back.

On cue, he walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He ruffled his hair sending wet drops everywhere. He was nearly silent as he walked across the room and got some clothes. His movements were practiced just like every morning to avoid waking me up.

I rolled over to watch him. The light from the bathroom focused on his back as he went through his clothes. He was bulking up again for filming. I couldn’t tell which look I liked better on him. He always scientifically built for human attraction. His beard was filling out and I had a feeling I’d live it up as long as I could.

My thoughts were interrupted when he let the towel drop to step into a pair of boxers. I let out a soft groan.

Chris chuckled and glanced over his shoulder. “I thought I felt someone watching me. I thought it was Dodger though.”

I pulled the sheets up to my chin and bit my lip. “I’m upset that I miss this every morning.”

“Well you know,” He walked over to the bed. “You don’t have to miss it if you didn’t sleep in.” He put two hands on the bed beside either side of my head. He bent his elbows as if he were doing a push up over me.

His arms flexed and I had to make sure I wasn’t drooling. “Sleeping in or watching you get dressed…”

“Tough choice, I know.” He rested on his elbows to nuzzle my neck.

I squirmed slightly when I felt his beard scratch over my skin. “Chris…” I giggled.

“I love you.” He whispered and peppered kisses up my jaw.

Things had been going as good as they could possibly be. Chris and I had met each other’s families and friends, we were practically living together, and when we planned for the future, we planned with each other.

Of course, even if things were going great, my brain tried to sabotage my happiness.

Dodger got up from his spot on the bed and stretched before trying to wedge himself between Chris and I. We laughed softly. “Oh, that’s right.” Chris tousled Dodger’s ears. “Mom and dad can’t have any alone time.”

I felt a piece of ice stab through my heart. My smile faded and my eyes glazed over.

But Chris didn’t seem to notice. He got up and went back to the dresser. “What do you want to do today? We could go see that movie you wanted to check out, try to get out of this fucking heat.”

My mind was too fixated on the words to make an intelligent response. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He tugged a shirt over his head. “Scott is in town, I was going to grab a coffee with him. Wanted to tag along?”

“I uh…” I sat up and tried to get out of my own head. “Yeah, that sounds good.” I looked at Dodger who rested his chin on my knee. Suddenly, everything seemed to hit me at once. I was in a committed relationship with a man who would give up anything for me. He wanted to marry me. He wanted to start a family with me even if I couldn’t have children. He wanted to grow old with me.

But I was so irreversibly damaged.

I didn’t know how he couldn’t see that.

================

After seeing Chris’s brother, and trying to keep my composure, we returned to his apartment. I was standing in the kitchen, my hands on the counter, and my eyes closed. I tried to breathe deeply and remind myself that everything was okay and I was happy.

Out of nowhere, Chris wrapped his arms around my waist. I jumped and my knuckles tightened on the counter. “Jesus, Chris, don’t sneak up on me.”

He chuckled and pressed against me. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were in Molly World.”

I swallowed and smiled weakly. “What’s up?” I let go of the counter and rested my hands over his.

“Call me desperate, but I need you.” He murmured. “I’ve wanted you since this morning but I was trying to be polite.”

“My polite Boston boy.” I giggled and turned around to face him.

He hooked his hands under my knees and lifted me up onto the counter effortlessly. He brushed his fingertips over my cheeks and looked into my eyes. “I can never get over how beautiful you are.” He breathed. “You make my heart ache sometimes.”

“Well…I’m yours.” But my voice came out like I was choking on the words.

It was his first indication that anything was wrong. I was usually pretty damn good at hiding all of my feelings. His eyes met mine. “Something wrong?” He asked gently. The lust in his voice faded.

I had a hard time lying to him. The one thing I could give him was my honesty. “I-I just…” I tried to breathe “I’m afraid of all of this.”

“All of what?”

“This. Us. Being together. Something in my mind tells me to run as fast as I can.” I did my best to put my feelings into words but I was sure I wasn’t making any sense.

“Do I not make you happy?” His face fell like a wounded puppy.

“No, that’s the problem. You make me so happy.” I swallowed my tears. “You make me so happy and I feel like I don’t deserve that you deserve something better…”

“Sh, you know that’s not true.” Chris kept me close.

“I keep trying to tell myself that but…”

“Please don’t push me away again, Molly, I can’t handle it.” He begged quietly. "Last time was too much."

“I’m not pushing you away. I never want you to leave. I would never leave. I don’t know why I feel like this and I just…” I burst into tears. I felt so confused and pathetic, it was like my anxiety was actively trying to ruin my life.

He wrapped his arms around me so I was resting against his shoulder. “I know what that feels like.” He admitted and rubbed my back. “Remember when we were in Central Park and saw that wedding?”

“Yeah.”

“It was one of the first times I realized I wanted to marry you. And that made me so scared because I thought I’d disappoint you in the long run. It was my anxiety telling me I wasn’t good enough. But Molly, we know we’re good for each other. If we weren’t then we wouldn’t have lasted this long.”

“I know.” I sobbed against his shoulder.

“I want to stay with you.”

“I want to stay with you too.”

“Then let’s stay together.”

“Okay.” I couldn’t seem to stop crying.

He chuckled and touched my cheek so I would look at him. “Baby, please, it’s going to be okay.”

“I know it is.” I wiped my eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m totally ruining the mood and I really want to have sex with you.”

He laughed. “Alright, well let’s compose ourselves. We can have sex tonight, it’ll be special.” He promised.

“I love you.” I hiccupped.

He swiped a few more tears off my cheeks. “I love you too, Molls. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Masterpost

#Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #Chris evans rpf #rpf #marvel rpf #marvel actor #marvel actor rpf #actor rpf #boston #scott evans #chris evans x chronically ill oc #chris evans x ofc #chronic illness #chronically ill #lupus

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crushingonrazz · 6 years

Link

The link above will lead you to the reworked chapter, just like how 15 worked. Below the cut is the significantly shittier version of the ending of Tenacity.

The epilogue is the same for both versions, and will just be on Ao3 like the rest of the story.

Blue had forgotten how soft his scarf was.

He ran his fingers along its bright blue surface, reveling in the texture even as his mind is screaming at him to snatch his hand away.

Intellectually, he was aware that there was no reason to. The dust was held in a delicately carved glass ornament, specially made for the purpose it served and placed carefully on top of the dresser. If he looked up, just a glance, he could see it. He could assure himself that the scarf is clean. He didn't. But he knew he could.

The bag he pulled down from the top shelf of the bedroom closet was nearly half as big as he is, but it still seemed too small. After retrieving what few items Razz owned, placing them inside, it had become very clear that he would also be taking only what was absolutely necessary.

He had already broken the rule twice. Once for Stretch’s baby blanket, the last reminder of a little brother that had once looked up to him like he could change the world. Once for a hardbound children’s book, stained and torn but held so dearly to his soul that once he noticed it on the shelf, he couldn’t bear to leave it behind. The bag was quickly filling with clothes, shoes, and other essentials, and space was beginning to run low.

He shouldn’t bring the scarf.

It was basically useless, unable to be worn as the clothing it is. He could barely bring himself to touch it, let alone tie it around his neck like he used to. He shouldn’t pack it.

Picking it up, he brushed his thumbs over the cloth, staring down at it like it held the answers to the universe. He couldn’t bring the dust. He knew better than to even consider stealing something like that from Sans and Red. Especially Sans.

Carefully, he folded the blue cloth into a smaller square, tucking it into the bag before turning back to the dresser.

He made short work of the rest of his packing, pointedly ignoring his tighter clothing in favor of what was loose and roomy. If he was going to have to replace everything he owned, he may as well start out with some clothes he’d actually be able to wear for a while. Then he zipped the bag, taking a step back and looking down at himself. That was everything, right? He had shirts and pants and--

Oh.

His left hand rose, turning from side to side to watch the metal of his wedding band gleam. They’d had to be specially ordered, made with three colors of magic instead of two. The weaving strands of blue, navy, and red had been on his finger for so long that he’d nearly forgotten it was there.

Working it off the phalanx carefully, he turned, setting it on the dresser next to the carved glass that held their baby’s dust.

One last look around the the room, then he settled the strap over his shoulder, pulling it off the bed and nearly falling over with the weight of it. He groaned, setting it back on the ground as he rethought how to make this work. The most frustrating part of it was that he knew he would have easily been able to carry it if half of his magic wasn’t going to the soulling. He paused, settling a hand over his midriff. He allowed himself the barest smile, closing his eyes as he focused on the feeling of his child. His second chance.

He jumped as noise blasted from his pocket, tugging out his phone quickly and hitting accept as soon as he saw the Caller ID. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Razz said, and Blue’s smile grew at the sound of his voice, holding the phone closer to his ear as the other continued. “We’re finishing up here. Slim is going to stay the night again, apparently, so it’s going to take me a little longer than usual to get back.”

“Okay,” he responded. “I’m packed, and I...I told Red. Sans probably knows by now.”

“Are you okay?” His voice was so full of worry, Blue’s smile flashed back onto his face for a moment.

“Yeah. I’m just ready to go. I want to say goodbye before I do.”

“Of course. Be careful, and I’ll see you in a few minutes.” There was a pause, then, “And...Blue?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

His soul warmed, filling with Razz’s emotion alongside his own. “I love you too. See you soon.”

The phone clicked as Razz hung up, and Blue tucked his phone back into his pocket, taking a deep breath before pulling the bag back onto his shoulder, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him. He shifted the bag one more time before he made his way to the stairs, descending slowly as he huffed from the effort of carrying this much weight with so little magic.

He was cursing under his breath, almost all the way down the stairs before he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, taking the bag from his grip. He looked up to see Sans descending the stairs ahead of him, setting the bag on the floor before turning back to face him.

Sans’ face was tear-streaked, blue staining the bone under his eyes as he watched Blue come downstairs more slowly. They made eye contact for a moment, and Sans’ mouth trembled before he spoke.

“Hi.”

His voice broke on the single word, and Blue’s soul contracted with guilt.

“Hello.”

Hesitating, Sans folded his arms. “So you’re… you’re really leaving?”

“Yes,” He replied quietly.

“Where will you go?”

“He has a place, over in Waterfall.”

Sans opened his mouth, then closed it, finally looking at the floor. He started to speak again, but cut himself off halfway through the first syllable. Finally, he shook his head, lifting his chin as he gave up asking his question.

“Make sure you still go to the doctor,” he murmured instead. “Red is angry, and… so am I? But just… take care of yourself, o-okay?”

Blue nodded, holding back tears. Despite everything, he really didn’t like seeing Sans in pain. “Are you guys going to be okay?” he couldn’t help but ask. “With… with the house, and getting to work, and--”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

Sans’ voice was still soft, and he hesitated again to glance towards the kitchen doorway. Then he stepped forward, pulling Blue into a tight hug. Blue returned the hold, arms wrapped around his back and face pressed to his clavicle.

“I still want you to be happy, Blue,” Sans whispered, voice just barely audible even right next to him like Blue was. “I’m sorry that we didn’t see that you weren’t.”

Blue didn’t reply, closing his eyes and hugging impossibly tighter until Sans pulled away, wiping at his eyes.

“D-do you need a shortcut anywhere?”

“No, I’m--”

“I thought you were leaving.”

They both jumped, facing the kitchen doorway to see Red, standing with his arms crossed and glaring directly at Blue. His first instinct was to glare back, but he refrained, drawing himself up.

“I wanted to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

Blue sighed. “I am sorry to have hurt you, Red.”

“I don’t care how sorry you are,” he growled, straightening up and advancing a few steps into the room. “You should have talked to us about how you were hurting, trusted us. A marriage is about trust, Blue! And you tossed that out the window, so don’t pretend you care what happens to us. Just go.”

“Red--”

“Sans. He’s making his own choice. He’s made his own choice.”

Blue swallowed, looking away. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yes. You said that.”

“Red,” said Sans, more quietly this time. Red glared at the ground, but went silent, and Sans turned back to Blue. “Will we ever see you again?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Blue saw Red shift, closing his eyes and clenching his teeth. Blue pretended he couldn’t see the tears gathering under his sockets.

“I don’t want to cut you out. Either of you,” he added, glancing again at Red. “You’ve been so important to me for so long that I couldn’t really imagine never seeing you again. But it’s up to you. I’d understand if you don’t want to, and I’m not going to force you to--”

“We’ll have to see each other again to sign the divorce papers, won’t we?” Red spat, and Blue flinched, closing his eyes for a moment before turning to fully face him.

“Yes. We will.” Red looked shocked at the honesty, but Blue continued on without pause. “I’m making a new life for myself. I hope that the two of you will be able to do the same.” A wry smile twisted his face. “It shouldn’t be too different, after all.”

“No, Blue--”

“Don’t give him what he wants, Sans.”

Blue opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again, sighing as he reached up to rub his face. He didn’t know how to--

A spike of anxiety hit his soul, and he jumped, recognizing the feeling as belonging to Razz only when the door had already been opened, the other entering after kicking the snow off his boots. Blue could feel him projecting as he did so, a tentative sort of concern making its way across their bond. He was quick to respond with reassurance and anticipation, hoping he was signalling his intent to get out of here as soon as possible.

“Did you know?”

Razz looked up to where Red was standing, blinking in surprise. “What?”

“You’re his best friend, aren’t you?” he demanded, throwing a hand harshly in Blue’s direction. “Did you know he was fucking around like a cheap whor--” He choked out a sob in the middle of the word, hands coming up and digging into the sides of his skull as he stalked away and then came back, too angry to give up but too hurt to get the slur all the way out. “Did he tell you?”

Face flashing with understanding, Razz glanced at Blue before returning his focus to Red. He forced a shrug, but Blue could see the stiffness of his shoulders and back hidden in the motion. “I don’t know what you’re--”

“Why are you lying?” Red demanded, taking a pace forward. Tears were leaking freely down his face, but he made no move to push them aside. “We already know he’s been… been r-riding the neighborhood, you don’t need to keep his secrets anymore!”

Razz took a step back, hands coming up in defensive posture as he opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, however, Blue heaved his bag back onto his shoulder, speaking quietly in an attempt to avoid further upset. “Razz, can you please help me get this outside? I need to get out of--

“Hang on,” Sans said, settling an hand on Blue’s arm at the same time that Red snarled out a “Stop.” He was looking between them, eyes narrowed as his hands balled into fists at his sides.

“Blue. Who was it?”

He forced his eyes to stay locked on Red’s, refusing to even glance at Razz. “Red, it doesn’t--”

“Who did you cheat on us with?!”

Sans let go of his arm, taking half a pace toward Red, but before any of them could react, Red shortcutted across the room, seizing Blue by the wrists and squeezing just to the point of pain. “Whose fucking child is that?!”

Blue cried out, more in surprise than pain, then Razz was between them, slipping his fingers into the pressure points on Red’s carpals and forcing him to let go of his hold. “Don’t touch him like that, you fucking--”

The sound of Red’s fist colliding with Razz’s face was a horrible sort of crunching noise, ringing out into the dead silence of the living room. Razz groaned, doubling over as he reached for his skull. Red hauled back again, and Blue cried out as Razz stumbled back into him, nearly sending them both to the ground.

“Red!” Sans shouted, his voice a mix of disbelief and horror, but Red ignored him, eyelight flashing with excess magic. “How fucking dare you. How fucking--” A blaster materialized in the air behind him, and Blue grabbed Razz to him, pulling him out of range before he could--

“Stop!”

Blue looked up to see that Sans had a hold on Red’s arm, breathing heavy as he forced the other to look at him.

“Red, you need to stop! This isn’t going to solve anything!”

Shaking, Red forced himself to relax. His chest was heaving, anger clashing with the misery in his expression as he snarled, “We showed you mercy, you fucking bastard! Do you have any idea what you’re putting our family through?”

Razz had straightened, and Blue stood just to his side, one hand gripping Razz’s arm. He examined the injury to the other’s face, relieved to find it minimal. One of the cracks in his eye sockets seemed to be widened, but it was barely noticable. Tears still sprang to his eyes at the magic running freely from his chin, and Blue turned to look at Red. “It’s not just his fault!”

“Don’t even get me started on you!”

Sans sucked in a sharp breath, and Blue looked to see the other’s eyes locked on the place where his hand was in contact with Razz’s arm. After a split second of hesitation, Blue let go, dropping his grip instead to clutch tightly to his hand. Razz squeezed back, glancing down to meet Blue’s eyes before looking back up at Red. “We never wanted to--”

“You have no clue!” Red yelled, voice breaking on the last word. “You have no idea what we’ve stood through together, what this is going to do to… to Sans!”

Sans didn’t move, still focused on Razz and Blue’s clasped hands.

“Maybe if you’d been as concerned about Blue as you are about Sans, he wouldn’t have been so lonely he needed me!” Razz shot back, grip tightening. Sans finally looked up, expression stricken, but Red was seething, finally wiping away the tears streaking his face.

“Fuck you, you have no idea the sacrifices we’ve made for each other! You have no idea what we were missing, and there is nothing to excuse the fact that he tossed six years of trust back into our faces! There’s nothing to excuse you living under our roof and taking advantage of the opportunity to get your fucking dick wet!”

“I was ready to give up my child so that he could be happy with you--”

“I don’t give a shit what you were ready to give up!” Red’s voice was shaking, but he powered on. “I was ready to be a father! I was ready to have a family, and I have always been ready to give up on that dream in order to be with the two people I love more than life! And you have the fucking gall to blame me for not reading his fucking mind?! To pretend it was our fault that he never even trusted us enough to tell us--” He cut off, breath choking in a sob, and Sans wrapped an arm around his waist. “Fuck you,” Red managed to force out. “Fuck both of you. Get the hell out of our house, Razz, and take the fucking trash out with you.”

Razz took a step forward, but Blue tugged on his hand. He was shaking, and the guilt and sadness filling his soul finally seemed to reach Razz because he flinched, looking back at him in concern. He opened his mouth, but Blue shook his head.

“Let’s go, Razz. Let’s just go.”

After a second of hesitation, Razz took the bag from Blue’s shoulder, settling it on his own. Something crashed in the kitchen, and Blue looked up to see that Red had disappeared, leaving Sans to stand alone in the middle of the living room.

They locked eyes, just for a moment.

Blue turned around, following Razz out the front door and into the cold of Snowdin. They walked in silence for a few seconds. Blue took a shaky breath, zipping his coat snugly around his stomach.

“Are you okay, Blue?”

He looked up to see Razz watching him out of the corner of his eye. “I will be.”

“Did they ever do anything wrong? Or hurt you?”

There was a long pause. “I don’t think they meant to,” he finally murmured.

Razz seemed to think this over, then dropped Blue’s hand to loop an arm around his waist, drawing him in closer.

“Razz?”

The hold tightened. “Yes?”

“Do you trust me?”

He wasn’t sure if Razz could even hear him at first, his voice came out so quietly, but he couldn’t bring himself to repeat the question.

Razz stopped walking, bringing Blue to a stop as well as he looked down to meet his eyes. “Always,” he murmured, his soul in Blue’s proving the truth of the statement.

“Why?” Blue asked, voice breaking as he looked up at the most beautiful monster he had ever met. “You saw what I--”

“I have very good reason to make this work,” Razz interrupted, tilting his head to one side. “I love you.” As it had the last few times, Blue’s soul made it known exactly what he thought of those words. Razz smiled.

“And I can feel you in here, loving me too. That’s as good a reason as any, I would think.”

#rottenberry #classiccherryberry #physical violence #someone gets punched in the face #it's not who you want it to be #sorry lmao

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