#honestly i have no idea if this is hat you anted
Note
HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK
anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]
DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM
under a cut because these got LONG
MORI
first impression
honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .
impression now
i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!
favorite moment
honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me
outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him
idea for a story
genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up
unpopular opinion
uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him
favorite relationship
HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses
favorite headcanon
uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this
TECCHOU
first impression
genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"
impression now
i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw
favorite moment
every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)
idea for a story
oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all
unpopular opinion
i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him
favorite relationship
EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD
favorite headcanon
he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA
FYODOR
first impression
i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???
impression now
still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!
favorite moment
YES. /j
in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh
the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me
time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene
ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM
idea for a story
oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug
unpopular opinion
hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI
(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)
favorite relationship
fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)
favorite headcanon
UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move
i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)
actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it
#xanbox#bsd#mori ougai#tecchou suehiro#fyodor dostoevsky#originally in the mori unpopular opinion one i remembered the word thats not abstract mid sentence and then i forgor#feel like these arent very good sorry JAYAUIHASIJFHAJKSFD#been writing for like 30 minutes im so fr#xanthinks
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Again, my brain took this as more of a prompt and less of a kink, and this is probably the least ‘dirtiest’ of all the fills, but by god if I didn’t do it justice!
Takes place during the party after the war in Wano, Doc, Law and Chopper all work on the cure for the Smile Fruit together and in a week they have something ‘substantial’.
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: None, just wholesome content.
Kid was never one for patience, he allowed all of it to be aimed towards fulfilling his dream of becoming Pirate King. Unless it concerned the health of his crew however, then he tried his damnedest to reel the proverbial beast in. Especially when it was for Killer.
By now he’d near walked a shallow trench into the dirt outside the infirmary, metal and flesh hands clasped behind his back as he growled and muttered to himself, stealing glances at the door like it had offended him.
Stupid, the blonde idiot had topped it all this time. If he’d only waited for the cure to be finalised, waited for a bunch of useless idiots to die or get turned into twisted Zoan. But no, the moment that little fucking furry Straw Hat had run out saying they had something, Killer was there, running.
Doc had said all manner of things could go wrong: it might not work (the best outcome of the bad ones), it might fix the Smile Fruit, permanently turning Killer into some freak of nature. Kid would still love him, sure, but the sex…
How would that even work?
What if he turned into a bird?
He wouldn’t mind if he was a horse or bull or something, they were supposed to be hung as fuck!
…What if he was an ant?!
Would he be human sized?
Kid kept asking himself those sorts of questions, not wanting to think about the third possible outcome.
It had been almost an hour by now, Trafalgar did say they had to run some tests immediately after the cure was administered. Honestly the waiting wouldn’t be so terrible, if it wasn’t for-
“Should we do something, he’s been pacing for a whole hour?”
The fucking audience!
First there was his crew, which was fine, they all cared about one another like family, so it was okay they were there.
“Oh Nami-swan, you’re so caring! That brute doesn’t deserve you even thinking about him!”
Then there were the Straw Hats…
Clearly waiting to see if their beloved little doctor was successful. Though their Captain kept leaving every time he ran out of food, returning to the party to get more.
“Got any fives?”
“Go fish.”
Then the fucking nerds, the Heart Pirates, were here too! He wanted to punch one of them, namely the one with the penguin hat, bastard stood out the most other than the bear mink. Furry bastard was too cute - not that Kid would ever say it out loud - and the idea of punching him in the snout made him feel strangely guilty.
Kid was just about to charge in himself, beyond fed up with waiting, when the front door unlocked.
It was Chopper, the little furry reindeer thing, that came out. Well, for a second, before seeing the large crowd waiting outside and Kid burning holes through the door with his eyes. The little guy yelped before hiding back behind the door, though Kid was pretty sure he was doing it backwards.
“Other way, Chopper,” Roronoa called out from somewhere behind Kid.
The little reindeer rearranged himself properly behind the door, “He- Killer’s coming out, try not to crowd him, please,” he poked his head out more, as if remembering something, “o-oh, and please don’t stare too much, Doc said he can’t wear his mask for a few days so we can see straight away if there’s any change, and apparently he’s a bit shy without it.”
Kid went ridged, glaring back at the other crews, ready to wallop the first person who even snorted at the idea of his partner being shy.
There wasn’t a peep from anyone.
He turned back to the doorway, just in time to see the familiar shades of blue and yellow shuffling out of the dark entryway. Killer’s shoulders were hunched, he seemed to pause at the doorway as he noticed the two extra crews waiting outside, his shoulder hunched a little more as he took the last few steps out into the light of the evening sun.
He wasn’t smiling.
He wasn’t some permanent, monstrous Zoan.
He was…he was alive!
His arm felt numb, legs moving on their own as his heart swelled with joy and tears welled up in his eyes, throat clenching, “Bastard!”
He kissed the blonde, pressing him up against the side of the building with a faint thunk, all tongue and teeth as he anchored his fingers into long golden locks.
“Thaaat explains the pacing.”
“Ooohhh, Jaggy’s got a boyfriend! Jaggy’s got a boyfriend!~”
Kid whipped around, glaring at Luffy, “I’ll wring your neck till it’s permanently like a damn giraffe’s, Straw Hat!”
“K-Kid, leave him,” Killer’s voice was barely a whisper as he grabbed his captain by the shoulder.
Kid looked back at him, that cute, flushed face ducking down to hide in the crook of his neck.
“Wanna celebrate with you,” the blonde murmured, breath warm against his throat, “alone.”
The grin that spread across Kid’s face was nothing short of lecherous. He looked at Doc, who was leaning against the doorway, and opened his mouth to speak.
The old man held up a metal hand, rolling his eyes, “Nothing strenuous, at all. Go easy on ‘im.”
Kid’s eye twitched.
“Dumbass,” Doc huffed, “I didn’t say you couldn’t, just go easy is all.”
“Awesome,” he grabbed Killer by the wrist, pulling him along as he made a beeline for the house the two of them had been sleeping the past week.
“All night counts as strenuous, by the way!” the blue haired man calls after him.
Kid threw a metal middle finger over his shoulder, sniggering as he heard Chopper ask Doc what he meant. The old man quickly tried to distract the young doctor by telling him they needed to figure out how to mass produce the cure.
He wished he could stay, Doc never had to have that basic talk with him and Killer. Theirs was just more or less ‘wear protection, and don’t kill or severely kill injure whoever you’re fucking.’
Though when it came to each other, they always ignored the first rule.
***
The moment they got to their temporary bedroom, Kid pushed Killer towards the futon, the excited grin on his face mirrored in the tremble of the blonde’s body. Killer fell back all on his own onto the sheets, dragging Kid - who was laughing giddily - down with him. After that there was a scramble, lips or hands very rarely ever leaving the skin of the other while they tried to undress. They eventually got down to their boxers, Kid still grinning like an excited school boy as he straddled his best friend, with Killer staring up at him, smile soft in comparison but no less affectionate.
And that’s when Kid stopped, heart pounding in his ears, chest rising and falling with heavy pants, staring down at that loving smile.
He couldn’t do it.
He thought he wanted it fast, rough, primal after months apart from his partner, but…
But there was something, something on the tip of his tongue that weighed heavy in his heart…
“It wouldn’t’ve been worth it,” he whispered on impulse, fingers idly brushing over the left side of Killer’s chest as his cheeks reddened, to think he may have never again felt the thundering heartbeat beneath his palm, it made his own heart bleed with a deep sadness he’d never felt before, “my dream, it…it wouldn’t be worth it if it meant I’d lost you.”
Killer’s eyes widened, lips parted slightly in shock, having never heard Kid put anything above his dream, a fact that had never once bothered him, “…Kid…”
He ducked his head, throat tightening, shy yet toothy grin spread across his face. The past few months had been hell, but not from the torture, the beatings, he could take those. It was the lack of knowledge, not knowing where everyone was, Doc - the man he saw as a father, his crew - the family he’d made, and Killer - his everything. For the first time since he’d been a scrawny little boy, he’d been completely alone in the world.
Shit like that tends to put a perspective on things.
In every fantasy he’d had of becoming Pirate King, long before he’d even started growing hair on his face, Killer had been there. Always. The idea of him not being there was, well…frightening, unsettling.
Wrong.
“I…” his voice cracked, was he really about to do this? Of course he was, he was a man of impulse, but this… “I want us to be Pirate Kings, together.”
Slowly, Killer’s eyes widened till Kid was sure they were going to fall out, he began to shake, fingers curling tight over the redhead’s thigh, “Are…are you asking what I think you’re asking?”
Kid’s heart shoved its way through into his throat as he looked to the side, “I-I mean yeah, well, you don’t have to answer or anything it’s just a thought is all-“
He swears he didn’t squawk as the blonde suddenly flipped the two of them over. Next thing he knows Killer is scrambling for the travel packet of lube in his coat and Kid just goes on autopilot, pulling his boxers off as he smirks. So maybe he wouldn’t get his answer today, but damn if it didn’t get his partner going.
Kid’s breath hitched as two fingers were pressed into his body, the stretch both slightly painful yet more than welcomed after months apart. But Killer was slow, mindful, even though his body shook with want for his beloved captain. His face burned as blue eyes stared down at him with nothing short of unyielding love, fingers curling and rubbing the right spot as the blonde’s scarred hand slowly stroked his length. Kid tossed his head back, mouth hanging open as he panted and groaned, fingers curled again against his prostate, making his back arch as he clutched at the blonde’s shoulder.
“F-fuck,” he gasped, pulling his legs up to hook them over Killer’s hips, trying to move them closer together with a few shoves of his heels, “I’m- want you in me.”
“You’re no where near ready,” Killer chided, “it’s been months, Kid, I’m not skipping this.”
“G-gonna- fuck,” his chest tightened, heart racing.
Killer’s lips suddenly sunk down his cock and he was a goner, eyes rolling as hips bucked and twitched, fingers gripping his partner’s golden mane.
“H-holy shit.”
Still swallowing around him, Killer chuckled softly, it was the first time he’d laughed without that maddened cackle he hated so much.
It made Kid’s heart ache as he grinned.
“Now?” the redhead panted.
Killer paused, pulling his fingers out and his mouth off of him, giving one last swallow for show, “Only because I’m just as impatient.”
The older man crawled over him, a faint smile on his lips as he stared down at Kid. His long hair fell over his shoulders and head, making a golden curtain around the two of them.
Just the two of them.
“Hey,” Killer murmured, leaning down to bump his forehead against Kid’s, making the ache in his chest blossom and burn through his veins as his breath shook.
“Hey,” he answered, smiling.
“Do you mind if we just go slow?”
“Honestly,” Kid said with a light chuckle, tilting his head back so his lips brushed against his partner’s, “I’d prefer it.”
The term ‘making love’ had always made Kid cringe, but not for the reasons one might think. Love wasn’t something you could just make out of thin air, it was something you earned, that you fought for with all the blood, sweat and tears you could muster, and when you ran out you found more. It was something you held onto, not tightly, not suffocatingly, but still firm, like a precious gem.
That was how he held onto Killer as the man slowly sank into him, firm but not crushing, breath shaking but accepting the ache with the craved connection. Lips pressed open mouthed kissed to his neck, tongue dragging over his fluttering pulse. They both groaned as Killer bottomed out, breaths stuttering along with their heartbeats.
“Missed you,” the blonde whispered, lips caressing the shell of his ear.
Kid didn’t reply, grip tensing as his throat tightened again, he ducked his head, pressing his face to Killer’s neck as he panted. Another minute passed slowly, the two of them pressing feather-light kisses to the other’s neck, both too overwhelmed to meet the other’s gaze.
“Move,” Kid finally said, eyes shut as he pressed his forehead back against Killer’s.
It was a slow rock, the push and rub against that bundle of nerves had Kid shaking already, then - as if he’d only been treading the waters - Killer pulled out, only to push back in just as slow. Kid’s head fell back, breath ragged, eyes slightly unfocused as he just felt.
“Yes.”
“Wh-what?” Kid asked as the other ground against his prostate.
“My answer,” Killer said as he wrapped his arms around Kid, cradling the back of his head as he continued to steadily thrust in and out of him, “yes.”
Kid choked on a sob.
“Even if you lost your other arm,” the blonde’s hips snapped forward, making Kid’s eyes roll as he moaned, “even if you lost you damn legs,” lips pressed to the redheads throat, giving a hard suck to his pulse, making him cry out, “even if you never become Pirate King,” Killer sat up, hooking his arms under Kid’s knees before leaning back down till their noses touched, near folding the redhead in half, “even if I knew we were all going to die tomorrow, my answer is ‘yes’.”
That broke the dam.
“B-bastard,” Kid sobbed, wrapping his arm around Killer’s neck, tangling his fingers in long blonde hair, “I’m-…I’m gonna fucking hold you to that.”
“Good.”
Killer braced his hands back on the futon, leaving Kid almost folded in half. He ground deep, rubbing that spot inside the redhead with little, hard bucks of his hips. Kid cried out, gripping at the blonde’s shoulder, head falling back as tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Like that,” he whined and sobbed, not caring they weren’t in their soundproof cabin, not caring who heard him getting fucked by his first mate, “like that, god, fuck me!”
Killer gave a trembled moan, mouthing at his throat, trailing kisses to his red painted lips, smearing purple on them as their tongues tangled together. With every grind on his sweet spot Kid moaned, body tensing as Killer pulled out, only to relax and arch towards the blonde as he thrust in.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” tighter and tighter his body wound, legs spreading just that little bit wider, eyes rolling as his breath grew shorter and shorter.
Killer moved back to wrap his pale legs around his waist before returning to lean down over him, hips snapping hard and he fucked his captain deep.
“Come!” he snarled through clenched teeth, right next to his ear.
On any other day Kid would curse his body, with it having been trained for a good five years to do as Killer said, but tonight he didn’t care. With a cry as his legs clamped around the blonde he came, breath rapid and shaky, nails digging into the other’s shoulder, leaving crescent indents in fair skin as he shook and bucked.
“Like that, like that, like that,” Kid gasped with each little aftershock that pulsed through his body as Killer fucked him through his orgasm.
Just at the tail end of his climax Killer met his, arms wrapping tight around his body as he buried his face in Kid’s scared, pale neck with a trembled shout.
Kid had always loved that feeling, the throbbing of the blonde’s cock as he emptied himself inside the him. It made his toes curl, head falling back with a satisfied groan.
The two of them lay there, panting, covered in sweat and the room stinking of sex. Kid couldn’t help but grin.
He’d missed this.
He’d missed the feeling of coming down from his high, the weight of his partner covering him like a warm, heavy blanket, heartbeats thundering against one another’s chests.
“Gonna need to make rings,” he mumbled.
Killer chuckled, slowly pulling himself off and out of the redhead, “Yeah, but nothing fancy.”
He lay beside his partner, wrapping his arms around Kid, nuzzling into his chest.
Kid grinned, draping his arm over the blonde.
It felt like…no, it was.
He was home.
#one piece#otp#line's self indulgent otp kinktober#kid x killer#kid/killer#massacre soldier killer#eustass kid#spicy#kidd x killer#eustass kidd#my writing
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“Aww, I always knew you could be a romantic! How are you hide this from me!” I imagine Louise saying this to baron when setting up a date with Haru for the first time or Louise saying this to Persephone on their first date. Either one basically. Also love your The Bureau Series so amazing!!!!😍😍😍👍👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍👍👍
A/N: Thank you! This went through several variations and AUs, before I settled on just a generic ficlet, inspired by the date scene out of Thor: The Dark World.
(Human Baron is - as usual - based on @letterstoathens‘ design, because I love floofy Baron! His fashion choices come from the manga, although the polka dot tie turns up in both the manga and WotH.)
x
There was a strange human standing in the Bureau, and Louise could already tell this flying visit was going to evolve into chaos.
She could usually handle chaos. Chaos was the natural state of the universe, after all, especially after she had dropped by, but, even so… Her brother carried a certain kind of chaos that was usually compounded by his own tendencies to overthink and then overreact. If he was lucky, in that order.
As the Bureau doors swung shut behind Louise, the man looked up and she saw bright green - familiar - eyes.
“Humbert?”
He fumbled with the hideous bow tie he was knotting, and jumped like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Louise?”
Maybe she should have visited before now.
She marched over to the desk he was standing before, and pointedly looked her brother up and down with a raised eyebrow. “What is this?” she asked. “What is going on?Why are you…” she gestured to him in general, “human?”
Humbert hesitated. “Would you believe me if I said this was a mid-life crisis?”
“We’re immortal, Humbert. We don’t have a mid-life to have a crisis over.” She gave him another sweeping look. “At least, you were immortal…”
“It’s a temporary shape-shifting spell, Louise. Just enough for a couple of hours, nothing more dramatic than that.”
“Sure, but why do you even need to be human, unless…” She trailed off, and for the first time, looked beyond his immediate humanness. He wasn’t wearing his usual grey suit, instead opting for a sleeker, more understated black suit, offset by a yellow waistcoat and that awful polka dot bow tie. He had forgone fighting with it, and was now attempting to rein in the new challenge of hair - curly, ginger hair that didn’t behave anything like fur, much to his dismay. His movement was precise and curt, but Louise had known her brother long enough to recognise the undercurrent ebb of nerves. “Are you going on a date?” she demanded.
His hair slipped loose from his grip, and he scowled at her. “How did you even–”
“You are! Oh, this is adorable!”
“Louise–” He cut off as Louise abruptly squeezed his face between her hands.
“You’re in love?With a human? Tell me all about them!Where did you meet them?What are they like? Do they know you’re a Creation?Why didn’t you tell me about this before–?”
Humbert swiped her away, and consciously tucked back the hair that had fallen over his eyes. “I don’t have time for this–”
“What you don’t have time for is for me to not fix up your appearance. I mean, really, when was the last time you went out socially into the Human World? Never mind, that top hat says it all. You want my advice–”
“No.”
“–lose the top hat. And the cane. It’s not 1885 anymore, so unless you’re meeting this human at a renaissance fair, you need to look like you’ve at least heard of the 21st Century.”
Humbert watched, visibly nonplussed, as Louise vanished into the back room and started rootling through his wardrobe.
“So,” she called, “are you going to tell me about this person or not?” She poked her head back out when he didn’t immediately respond. “Oh, don’t sulk. This is exciting! The last time you dated someone, it was called courting and it required a chaperone.”
Humbert glowered, but relented. “Her name is Haru, and we met on a case.”
Louise’s head appeared at the door again. “A client? You’re dating a client?”
“Ex-client,” Humbert stressed. “And, technically, we’re not dating.”
“But you want to.”
“Would you let me finish?”
“Sorry.”
Humbert took a steadying breath, and Louise mentally upped the nervous level she had originally pegged her brother at. “It was… years ago. At least a decade. She rescued a cat who turned out to be the prince of the Cat Kingdom, and had to come to us for help when the Cat Kingdom took it upon themselves to thank her.”
“It doesn’t sound that bad.”
“They kidnapped her and tried to marry her off to the royal family.”
“Oh.”
“Needless to say, we managed to bring those plans to a halt, and only broke one tower in the process–”
“Wait. Wait, Haru? Haru Yoshioka? The human who saved King Lune and Queen Yuki?”
Humbert blinked. “You’re familiar with her?”
“I…” and Louise did her best not to give a telling blush, “may have had some dealings with the Cat Kingdom in my travels. News of King Claudius abdicating in favour of his son was kind of a big thing.”
Humbert considered this. And then, to Louise’s relief, nodded at the sense she was making. “Regardless, we brought her home safe, and we thought that was that…”
“Until?”
“Until recently when we met her again during a case.” His eyes softened at the memory, and it took all of Louise’s self-control not to coo. “I had almost forgotten her, certainly didn’t recognise her until she dropped her name, and even then I couldn’t recall her case immediately.”
Louise snorted. “That bodes well.”
“It was years ago,” Humbert retorted, heat rising to his face. “We’ve had many cases since then, and I had expected her to forget me in kind. Most humans do when they return back to their normal lives. I certainly had not expected to find her exorcising a haunted office!”
“Okay, it’s official; she’s way too cool for you.”
“Yes, well,” Baron continued, not entirely denying her claim, “it seemed the natural course of action to work together - it turns out that after her brush with the supernatural, she can’t unsee it, and so she’s been working as a… I believe the term she used was ‘monster-hunter’ in the years since - and–”
“And you fell in love with her.”
“I wish to get to know her better,” Humbert hotly amended. “I do not know her well enough to claim my feelings to be anywhere in the realm of love, but–”
“Yes, yes, yes, but that doesn’t explain all this,” and Louise motioned to his human form once again. “If she knows you’re a Creation, why not just invite her to another world and have tea there? Why go to all this…” and she gestured to his hair, “trouble?”
“She doesn’t know I’m a Creation.”
“But you said–”
“The case required a human form, and so I took on this disguise.” He had the decency to look very sheepish. “When I met Haru, I didn’t recognise her and so I gave her my cover story.”
“And now you have a date with her and you’re too embarrassed to tell her the truth.”
“I will tell her the truth,” Humbert retorted. “It’s just…” And he mumbled something.
“What was that?” Louise asked.
“It’s just, she still remembers our first encounter.”
“And?”
He mumbled again.
“Humbert, really, speak up. You were created eloquently, don’t pretend otherwise. What happened on your first meeting?”
“She confessed she had… feelings for me. A schoolgirl’s crush.”
“So you turned her down.”
“Obviously.”
“And now she’s a monster-hunter, ass-kicking badass, and completely out of your league–”
“Thanks, Louise.”
“–you’ve ironically developed a crush on her.”
“I told you that I merely wish to get to know her better…” He hesitated and then, after a dubious pause, added, “The issue lies in that I do not wish to… worry her with reminding her of our last conversation.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I imagine she has long since outgrown that schoolgirl crush, so there’s no need to remind her of it.”
“Hm,” Louise responded noncommittally. “Yeah, okay, but before you head off to sweep this Haru off her feet, you’re going to need to swap that bow tie.”
“What’s wrong with my tie–”
“Have you looked in the mirror?”
“It’s fine–”
“It has polka dots,” Louise retorted. She threw a plain blue tie at him. “Wear that instead.”
“Louise–”
“I mean, if we had the time, I’d suggest maybe something a little less formal for a first date, but I’ll settle with the removal of that abomination. Where are you meeting anyway? A restaurant? Movie? Wait, I’ve got it - are you going on a joint case together? You know, they say situations of dire peril are meant to bring people closer.” She cooed, “Aww, I always knew you could be a romantic! How dare you hide this from me!”
Humbert raised an eyebrow, but did exchange bow ties. “We’re just meeting at a cafe.” And then, when he saw Louise’s gleeful expression dissolve into disappointment, added, “Ordinary, human date, remember?” He finished tying his bow tie with a flourish. “Tonight, it’s just two humans having a perfectly ordinary afternoon.”
x
Louise had got a point, Baron couldn’t help but think as he watched Haru absorb herself in the menu. He hadn’t really spent that much time out in the Human World, and he certainly couldn’t consider himself an expert in the realm of modern dating. Not even a little bit.
Still. He was fairly certain that it didn’t take this long to choose a cake.
He should say something. Start a conversation. Get to know her, as he had told Louise. But the manners that his artisan had built into him rebelled against the idea of interrupting someone when they were deep in thought - and Haru was deep in thought, regardless of whether the menu was the cause or not - and so he found his tongue tied.
He wrote ‘hello’ on a napkin and slid it onto Haru’s side of the table.
He felt her gaze guiltily move from the menu and onto him.
“Hello,” he greeted cheerfully. He offered a reassuring smile across the cafe table.
Haru sheepishly returned it. “Hi.”
Throwing all caution to the wind, he jumped in. “So what’s the story with you?”
“Story?” She laughed and shrugged quickly. “Why does there have to be a story? There’s no story.”
“You’ve spent the first ten minutes of our date hiding behind a menu that has three cake choices,” he told her gently. “It’s either brownie, lemon drizzle cake, or carrot cake.” He grinned. “And you’re a self-described monster-hunter. Now, I think there’s a story, and given how you are suddenly indecisive over cake, when you were perfectly capable of facing down an oni two days back, I think this has less to do with the food choices, and more to do with the date situation.”
She stared at him for a long moment, and he abruptly wondered whether he had already messed this date up. Then she laughed and batted a hand before her face to hide the already-rising blush. “Okay, you got me. Darn it, and I thought I was being so subtle.”
“So there is a story?”
“There’s a guy,” she said. “Past tense,” she was quick to add. “A guy that I knew… years ago, who I had the biggest crush on.” She reddened. “He, uh, made it quite clear that it was a one-way thing though, and we lost touch with one another after that. But, um…” and here, she deliberately avoided Baron’s gaze, “you… kind of remind me of him?”
She waited for him to say something, evidently mortified by her own admission.
Baron had to resist the urge to laugh.
“I remind you of an old crush?” he asked instead.
“Just a… just a little bit. You know,” and she motioned weakly to his face, “the eyes, your accent, the outfit…”
“Was he also English?”
She scrunched up her nose. “I mean… I guess? The accent was, anyway.”
“Then that explains it. In England, you’re only allowed to wear such dapper suits if you have the accent to match.”
She laughed then. The anxiety drained from her, and the blush adorning her cheeks went from embarrassment to amusement. She leant in with a conspiring glint. “What if you’re caught faking the accent?”
“That’s what the Tower of London is for.”
She laughed again, and Baron found himself beginning to relax. This really wasn’t so difficult. Maybe he needn’t have worried after all. Yes. This was all under control. He could do this.
A shadow appeared over them, and his brain kicked onto automatic. “Sorry, we haven’t made a choice yet, but if you could bring over a jug of water, that would be grand.”
“Water? On a date? How exciting.”
Baron looked up and saw that the shadow was not that of a waiter, but of a young woman, short, with her brown hair cut into a neat bob. Definitely not staff.
Haru sighed. “Sorry, this is Hiromi, my future ex-friend. Hiromi, this is my date, who I told you about.” Haru shot a meaningful look at the newcomer, who completely sidestepped it.
“Sweet. He’s cute.”
“Hiromi.”
“Anyway, I’m just dropping by,” Hiromi continued. She grabbed a nearby chair and hauled it over. “Are you going to eat those biscuits? No? Cool.”
“Hiromi, what are you doing here?”
Haru’s friend set to picking out the on-the-house biscuits, snapping them in half and nibbling along the edges. “Okay, so, I drop by your house, fully expecting you to be cleaning off the goo off whatever monster-of-the-week you stopped this time, but you’re not. You’re wearing lady clothes and jewellery, and you’ve actually showered with proper scented shower gel, not that nasty goo-be-gone gel that gets out bloodstains–”
“Is there a point to all this,” Haru asked desperately, “because there really needs to be a point to all this.”
“Right, okay.” Hiromi finished her biscuit and brushed the crumbs off the table. “Well, then I remembered that you said you were meeting up with that dude you met when stopping the office oni–”
Baron had to resist the urge to remind her that he was right there.
“–which is just as well, because you remember that programme you made to alert you if there were any sudden blips of that weird strong toy magic?” Hiromi thrust a phone across at Haru. “Well, you might want to take a look.”
“It’s not toy magic,” Haru could be heard to mumble, but her fingers twitched as she read the screen’s data. She looked sharply - hopefully - up at Hiromi, and then her gaze slid guiltily back to Baron. The shrug she gave aimed for nonchalance and missed. “I’m sure it’s just… a blip. Make a note of the location, and I’ll check it out later. It’s probably nothing.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Hiromi said. “It kinda looks like the readings you went cuckoo over last winter. You know, with the talking tin soldier?”
Baron suddenly recalled hearing about a fellow Creation - a toy soldier - in the next town over, and suspicions began to crawl into his bones over the exact nature of Haru’s search. He flexed his human hands and wondered whether the transformation magic might have triggered the blip.
“Oh yeah,” Hiromi said to Baron, “Haru told me that you know all about the magic and monsters and everything. All supernatural creatures give off a distinct type of magic signature, and Haru has this interest in these living toys–”
“They’re Creations,” Haru amended, “and he’s really not interested–”
“I’m interested,” Baron said.
“–and I’m not interested,” Haru continued. “Time for you to go now.”
Hiromi paused, and glanced between the two of them. She raised an eyebrow and rose back to her feet. “O-kay. Well, enjoy the date!”
There was a long, dubious pause in the silence that followed.
“She seems… nice,” Baron eventually ventured.
“She needs manners,” Haru said. “I’m so sorry–”
“Don’t be. Actually, she reminds me a lot of my sister. All energy and good intentions wrapped up in a chaotic bundle.”
Haru snorted and flipped open the menu again. “That’s Hiromi, all right.”
Baron smiled and followed suit. He glanced over the options, as if he hadn’t chosen a good fifteen minutes ago.When an acceptable minute had passed, he said, “I think I’m going to go with the carrot cake.”
“Carrot cake,” Haru echoed. “Yeah, carrot cake sounds good.” Baron watched her as her eyes glazed over the page. “Carrot cake. Carrot cake, carrot cake, carrot cake…” The words continued to trip over her tongue, barely conscious of the shape of them. “Carrot cake…”
Baron smiled and folded his menu. “Haru?”
“Hm?”
“Maybe you should stop saying ‘carrot cake’ and go after your friend.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t just leave–”
“It’s fine. I can just stay here and say carrot cake alone.” He offered her a good-natured smile. “Go on. It’s obviously important to you.”
Haru’s guilty expression sank into relief. “Thank you.” She had already half-risen to her feet before she visibly remembered her manners. She spun back to him. “This has been… so much fun, we should… definitely do this again.” She grinned apologetically and ran off after Hiromi.
Baron waited until they were out of sight before jumping to his feet and shooting in the opposite direction. He tripped over a trash bag obscuring the alleyway, his gaze so intent on the skies. “Toto? Toto!”
Toto landed on a bin skip, appraising Baron’s ruffled appearance with a critical eye. “That date was short.”
“Haru is… Haru is… she’s…” He motioned for Toto to wait for him to regain his breath and senses. He broke out into a grin. “She’s looking for me.”
“Looking for you?”
“She’s following spikes of Creation magic, and she’s picked up the shape-shifting spell I used to become human, and...” He trailed off as his train of logic hit a brick wall.
Toto, as usual, filled in the dots as quickly - or if not quicker - than Baron. “The spell which you used halfway across the city,” he said, “while you are here. Human.”
“Yes.”
Toto sighed. “I’ll find her and stall her until you can get back.” Toto gave an amused grin. “Hopefully the human disguise will have worn off before then, otherwise you’re going to have a lot of questions to answer before you even start.”
Baron grinned back. “I’ll improvise.”
“Oh good.”
#the cat returns#cat writes#the cat queues#tcr ficlet#I mostly just liked the idea of baron being blown off on a date because haru is chasing after creation him#like the stupid complications of it is so baron#also that date scene from thor the dark world#is honestly the best thing about that movie#honestly i have no idea if this is hat you anted#or hat vibe it gives#but it as fun#also my 'w' isn't orking properly#take pity on my tags
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Enerjak Reborn intermission: Who the hell is Enerjak?
Before we move on to the second half of the fun, thrilling, and exciting Enerjak Reborn arc, I think it’s a good idea to pause and take a look back at where we came from. Reading this arc, you may be asking yourself: where’d this Enerjak guy come from? It’s been over six years since I covered the comics featuring the original Enerjak, after all (and I tended to skim over stuff a lot more back then)
So here’s a crash course in Archie’s original nemesis for Knuckles. The big question today is... did the original Enerjak ever DO anything?
As has been established, the original Enerjak was a powered up form Dimitri took on. Even if you’re not following all this too closely, you’ll probably recognize Dimitri as the floating cyborg echidna head. He’s pretty memorable in that form
In his youth, though, Dimitri was a normal echidna scientist working alongside his brother Edmund on Angel Island. Together, the two of them found the legendary Zoot Chute
This, of course, led them to the chamber of the twelve Chaos Emeralds (yes, twelve--the lore was different back then) that were holding Angel Island up in the air. It had been generations since the echidnas had Brexited their capital city into the sky to dodge the White Comet, and they figured, hey, maybe we should land this thing. And so Edmund and Dimitri set out to slowly syphon away the power of the Emeralds to do just that, gently lowering the floating landmass back into the crater it had left behind. A reasonable idea!
Except then their proposal to land Angel Island was denied, so Dimitri got pissed and stole the Chaos Syphon to do it anyway. But then the machine went HAYWIRE and he absorbed the energy himself and it flipped his morality switch from good to EVIL!!!
Boy, that was sudden!
From there Dimitri’s plan was to enslave everyone on Angel Island and make them turn the whole island into one big airship, from which Dimitri would subjugate the surface world
(No, the pirate motif isn’t an artist taking liberties with the script--Ken drew these lore dump backup stories himself)
Boy, this guy sure does have big plans! And he’s got the power to back it up, too, since he absorbed eleven whole Chaos Emer--oh, whoops, the fire ants chewed through the base of his spooky tower and he was immediately crushed by rocks before he could do literally anything else with his new power
From here, Edmund and his allies “renounced technology” and “destroyed their city” (not really, but that’s how the story goes). His descendants would become the Brotherhood of Guardians, eventually including Locke and Knuckles. This part of the lore dump gave me some of my favorite panels. Meanwhile, Dimitri’s side of the family sought revenge and went full techno-fascist, forming the Dark Legion
Fast forward a few hundred years to the events of the three-issue Knuckles miniseries, and Dimitri's HP finally recharges and he manages to escape from the rubble, ready for his first face-off with Knuckles! Except he’s no longer just Dimitri... he’s apparently now Enerjak!
While the echidna lore dump stories published literally immediately before this miniseries that Ken drew himself depicted Dimitri as simply turning all green and glowy in his powered up state, the art in the recap pages of this miniseries seems to retcon the story and say that he had actually turned into Enerjak. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t just use Enerjak in the original stories to set the persona up more instead of just having Dimitri turn green. Here Archimedes also refers to Enerjak as “the great evil of legend” even though no one is supposed to know about Dimitri’s Enerjak persona yet. Actually, this little point of confusion was expanded upon by Ian, which is why in his version of the canon Enerjak is an entity that multiple people can become, rather than just a supervillain persona for Dimitri. Anyway!
In this first confrontation, Enerjak displayed a few of the signature moves Knuckles has been using in the Enerjak Reborn arc. He’s able to unleash blasts of Chaos energy, freeze his opponents in place, and teleport them elsewhere. He uses this to make short work of the Chaotix and teleport Knuckles and Archimedes out to die in the desert of Sandopolis Zone
From there, Enerjak made a new evil citadel (guy just LOVES making evil citadels), this time made to resemble Echidnaopolis... except evil. He christened it “Nekronopolis.” He also, like... made some robots for Knuckles to fight, apparently based on robots they used to have in Echidnaopolis? Okay
In their final confrontation of the miniseries, Enerjak mind controls the Chaotix to make them fight Knuckles. He then starts going on and on about his unlimited power while struggling to kill a teenager, only to be undone when--surprise!--the fire ants show up and sabotage his fortress again. This time, though, they launch him into space with help from Locke instead of just making the citadel collapse on top of him. Oh, and then his evil fortress disappears. He leaves no mark on the status quo of the series in his first appearance aside from adding one more guy to the list of characters Knuckles has fought
Later, in issue #7 of the full Knuckles series, Enerjak is summoned back to Angel Island and meets the Dark Legion. Since he’s their beloved Dimitri, he immediately becomes their new leader. And so Enerjak gets his rematch with Knuckles. This time he uses new tricks like making himself giant and teleporting himself and Knuckles to various inhospitable locations like the moon. (Admittedly, the moon thing is cool.)
Eventually he gets bored toying with Knuckles, though, and he decides to just disintegrate him
BUT Knuckles is immediately saved by God the Ancient Walkers, who won’t allow one of their Chosen Ones to die so easily. So he comes back right away
Enerjak then leads the Dark Legion on an all-out assault on Echidnaopolis. He doesn’t really do much even though he could probably singlehandedly disintegrate the entire Echidnaopolis defense force with the snap of his fingers
And then Mammoth fucking Mogul shows up and drains him of all his power with the Sword of Acorns and turns him into a prune
No, Knuckles wasn’t even the one who beat his supposed nemesis in either fight
And that’s it for Enerjak! No, really! He appears in two story arcs for a total of six issues, and that’s it. He’s just regular old Dimitri from this point forward, eventually becoming a cyborg and then a head. He has no powers and is just a fascist
As with just about every other element of Ken’s Knuckles comics, Enerjak was all hype and no substance. Dimitri is an important figure in The Lore, but as Enerjak he doesn’t actually do anything with his unlimited power that has any lasting impact on the story whatsoever. He just taunts Knuckles and then gets his power slurped out by a mid-tier villain. It’s clear that Ken wanted to paint this as Dimitri repeatedly suffering for his hubris, but it sure would’ve been nice if he actually did anything before he loses each time. Like, honestly? If you took the Enerjak persona out of the story entirely and instead just had the Dark Legion bring back regular old Dimitri with their technology, very little about the overarching story would change. He also has absolutely zero nuance as a character, going from a well-intentioned if headstrong scientist to a world-conquering tyrant demigod to the leader of the techno-fascists at the drop of a hat when the story requires it
Needless to say, it is VERY SATISFYING to have Knuckles become a version of Enerjak with way more nuance and to see him actually do stuff with that power in Ian’s run. Not just cool fighting moves (although he has those!), but also stuff that will have a lasting impact on the series
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Ok, basics of Soul Eater. This is a world where people can be born with the ability to transform into magical weapons, known as Demon weapons. They can come to this school called the DWMA (Death Weapon Meister Academy) and find a partner who’s able to wield them, called a meister. If their soul wavelengths are compatible, they’ll become a pair. These weapon-meister pairs are then tasked with going out into the world and fighting off kishin eggs, which are people who have strayed onto the path of evil by eating human souls. If they aren’t hunted down and eliminated, they will eventually form into a kishin – a creature of pure madness that would destroy the world.
There are also Witches, beings of magic who are kind of like a third party – some want the kishin to be revived because it causes chaos, but others are chill and actually on the side of the DWMA. Witches are important because their souls are the key to a Demon weapon awakening their true form, and gaining extra powers. Defeating a witch and consuming their soul makes the weapon into a Death Scythe, a weapon powerful enough to be wielded by Death himself, the god of the world.
For my AU, I’m just taking the premise of the world and replacing the characters with DSMP/MCYT characters, so I won’t explain much there. Great show, would recommend highly, it’s on Netflix, read the manga as well if you’re disappointed by the ending of the anime.
Anyways, I’d like to use more MCYT characters than just DSMP peeps, like some Hermitcraft folks, but I know nothing about them really, so I just have DSMP stuff for now.
Phil is Death, because I can’t help but make him immortal in every AU I make. He’s the one who determines who has started to go down the path of the kishin and makes the order for them to be taken out. (Sounds kinda intense, but in this universe souls of people like this actually look different to healthy human souls).
Dream and George are a meister-weapon pair. George is a Demon Axe, and they are classified as a Three-Star pair (the highest ranking a meister can achieve, and second only to being a Death Scythe for a weapon.)
Techno is also a three-star meister, although his situation is a little different. He doesn’t wield a Demon weapon, but instead he wields a legendary sword called Harpe, which is a shapeshifting weapon that can take different forms. (So, in the series, they have Excalibur, who is this really powerful sword that anyone is compatible with, wavelength wise, but he himself is really freaking annoying so nobody can stand using him as a partner. I wanted to give Techno something different, but I wanted to tie in his connection with Greek mythology, so I created my own legendary weapon. Harpe is Perseus’s sword in the mythology, what he used to decapitate Medusa. Harpe is the same as Excalibur in that it can match anyone’s wavelength, but instead of just being annoying like Excalibur, Harpe allows Techno to hear the voices of the dead. Wherever he goes, there are people who speak to him, and usually it’s just idle chatter and he pretends he can’t hear them, but they seem to know that he can because he always seems to attract them wherever he goes.) Harpe usually takes the form of a sword, but it can also become a trident, a spear, and a pickaxe.
Then there are the two-star pairs, who are a level above the regular students and able to take on more dangerous missions. There’s Sapnap and his two weapons Karl and Quackity, who wield fire and water/ice (not sure yet) respectively. Sapnap and Karl were partners first, before Quackity came to the school, and he was a menace. Sapnap is a very powerful meister, but also very destructive due to his partner being fire and him not knowing how to hold back sometimes. When Quackity became a student and the teachers learned that he was a water weapon, he was begged to partner with them to try and reduce the amount of damage Sap does on lessons, and generally chill them out. Of course, the teachers didn’t account for Quackity being just as chaotic, if not more, than his partners, and thus begun the most chaotic trio at the school.
Bad and Skeppy are partners, and originally I was gonna have Skeppy as the meister with a reluctant Bad who gets pulled into Skeppy’s pranks, but then I remembered that IRL!Bad is a badass who throws knives and shoots guns and stuff, so I changed it so Bad’s the meister and Skeppy’s his knife weapon. Bad still gets dragged around with Skeppy’s shenanigans though.
Punz and Ant are partners, mostly because I needed them to be in the AU somehow and they both needed a partner. Honestly don’t know much about either of them, and I don’t know what kind of weapon Ant is, but they’re strong enough to be two-star.
Then there are the one-star meisters, which is the ranking all students start as. You have Tubbo and Tommy, Wilbur and Fundy, Niki and Jack, Puffy and HBomb, and Purpled and Hannah(hannahxxrose).
To the surprise of most people who meet them, Tubbo is actually the meister in their pair. Which makes it very funny when Tommy’s being his usual bombastic, irritating self and picks a fight with another pair who they may not know, and when they get ready to fight Tommy calls over this innocent looking kid and starts glowing in his transformation, becoming a crossbow that can shoot explosive shots (like a firework crossbow).
Fundy is an interesting case, because he is actually a Witch (using the fact that Fundy’s character on the SMP is ftm trans, and because witches in this world are animal-themed and it just made too much sense with his fox connection. He has ears that he hides with a hat and a tail that he hides.) He’s partnered with Wilbur, who is a set of oversized gauntlets that have claws at the end. Yes, he gets furry jokes, no, he’s not amused, but he deals.
Niki and Jack are the weapon I’m probably most excited about. Jack can transform into a big shield, Steven Universe style, but it also has another ability. Niki can strike it with a mallet in different ways, and the sound that emanates from it has a different affect on her enemies/their attacks. She can ring it so that it resonates at a frequency that can break glass, can stun her enemies, etc. A lot of people think she’s weak or not as good as others because her weapon is defensive, but she just smiles and knows that if they ever see her fight, they’ll think differently.
Puffy and HBomb is half a joke, but also serious. HBomb is some sort of spiked whip/lasso, but many people joke that he’s a glorified fishing rod because Puffy once used him for that and he never lived it down. (Because Puffy’s a captain, but also because HBomb has his podcast and it just seemed to fit). Puffy is also a sheep witch, and bonds with Fundy over it since nobody else at school knows about their heritage (given that Witches are usually an enemy of the DWMA)
Purpled and Hannah, I will admit, are only a pair because they’re both bedwars players and it seemed appropriate? No idea what kind of weapon Hannah would be though.
Real quick, here are some other character roles. Ponk is the school nurse, Sam is a technician who is supposedly working to make sure the school is functioning, maintaining the old pipes and stuff, but he has a lot of secret work that Death has him do on the side of that. Alyssa and Callahan are a Death Scythe pair (Alyssa as a meister) who work on another continent and aren’t ever around, cause I thought it would be funny.
Ranboo is a special case of being his own meister? If anyone reading knows the series, he’s basically like Crona. But instead of madness from the black blood, it’s his enderwalk state that he eventually gets snapped out of in an epic battle with Tommy/Tubbo. He has two non-demon weapon pickaxes that he fights with, as well as the enderman powers from the SMP, and some mild telepathy.
In terms of other MCYT, I don’t know much about the hermits but most seem like they would be good teachers? The only one I was told had to be a meister was Falsesymmetry, because she’s a pvp god. And her weapon is Rendog, because I was told he’s supportive of her and also goes feral if needed? So there’s that. Ren is a transforming weapon, it’s a bow that can disconnect at the middle and become two swords connected by a magic chain that can extend as far as needed.
I have no idea what to do with Eret or Schlatt, they feel like they should have important roles but the “corrupt politician” or “the traitor who became king” bits don’t work super well in this universe. Well, traitor does, but I also love Eret and want to give them a good ending. And I could easily use Schlatt’s normal video persona rather than his SMP character, because that would be kinda funny and not something I see as often. - 🐉
Oooooooh. This is super interesting. This is super interesting. I really love this concept already!
#mcyt#dream smp#dream smp au#soul eater au#philza#ph1lza#dream#dreamwastaken#georgenotfound#technoblade#sapnap#karl jacobs#quackity#badboyhalo#skeppy#punz#antfrost#tubbo#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#fundy#nihachu#jack manifold#jack manifold tv#captain puffy#hbomb94#hbomb#purpled#hannah rose#hannahxxrose
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completely brainless 1am ramble
On the topic of stagnation, and the geopolitical plot vs. character-driven plot discussion people are having rn:
Maybe this is just a nostalgia-blinded bias of mine, having started with the Disc War, but...I’ve never minded the more character-based plots? Anyone who’s followed my blog for a bit knows that I love the Pet War, but I also loved the Disc War and the Final Pet War too. In those conflicts, the factions served as a backdrop rather than being the main focus, and the plot was driven by the characters and their grievances with one another.
One of my favorite smaller plots from Season Two was Fundy and Ghostbur. That had absolutely zilch to do with factions, or L’manburg, or geopolitics, but it was honestly one of the most well-acted and heart-breaking plots I’ve seen from the SMP in its entirety.
I think that character-driven plots are places where the SMP’s really shined, at least to me personally.
Maybe that’s not everyone’s thing, but I don’t think it’s bad for the stories to be more character-driven! I think a lot more of the SMP than people realize has been like that this entire time. I think people sometimes overestimate how much the factions have actually mattered, in a sense?
Remember how the Disc War started?
Tommy and Sapnap were a pair. Punz and Tubbo were a pair. Ponk and Alyssa were a pair. Dream logged on to stop the fighting and Tommy and Sapnap killed him, leading to Dream allying himself with Ponk and Alyssa. These weren’t faction lines dividing everyone, but personal grudges. That’s how the SMP’s entire plot started. “You and me, versus Dream,” right?
While the L’manburg War was amazing and a game-changer for the SMP storyline as a whole, I feel like the motivations, the driving forces for that war were actually a lot weaker than the recent conflicts. It was a cool bit of political roleplay, yes, but it was kind of just a war for the sake of a war, to be honest.
L’manburg was founded because some Americans got in the way of Wilbur and Tommy stealing everyone’s blaze rods. It went from a hotdog-selling business to a literal independent country because...revolution, I guess? And Dream declared war because...sometimes you just gotta kill some people sometimes, y’know...?
It was the character-based conflicts from before that war that ended it. The discs ended the war even though they had nothing to do with the reason L’manburg seceded, because Tommy and Dream’s grudge against each other held more weight than the actual country. Who cared if L’manburg gained its independence as long as Dream gained the discs? That was a bigger win for him.
The conflicts that happened afterwards continued that trend of being character-driven rather than faction-driven. L’manburg kind of disappeared for a month as the Disc Saga continued with Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Quackity founded the Cartel and then the Pet War started up because of Sapnap.
None of these conflicts had anything to do with factions, really, and having all these little smaller stories gave a chance for people like Quackity, Fundy and Skeppy to get in on the drama more and throw their hats into the ring.
That’s what I think is happening right now, except since there are a lot more people on the server now, they’re starting up their individual plots around the same time so that they start to overlap.
And remember how Fundy and Tubbo started up the Dreamon Hunters plot, picked out new skins, built a new setting and everything just for that plot to never take off due to needing to prepare for the Manberg Festival? Such a cool plot idea, and it just never happened, really.
Well, now, the Badlands have been having fun creating their own Blood Vines plot, and since they aren’t very involved in what Tommy and Dream are doing, they have space to flesh out that idea and not have it be overshadowed by other things. Whether or not you, as a viewer, want to follow along with the side plot is your choice! But Bad seems to be having a lot of fun telling his own story.
Quackity creating Mexican L’manburg and having that turn into a five-day plot that ended in war? That’s basically just the L’manburg War 2.0, and if you don’t feel like following along with the plot -- again, no need to! But Karl finally getting his chance to shine, Sapnap and George having character development with Dream, and Eret, Puffy and H getting in on some drama was honestly pretty exciting!
The thing about the SMP is that it’s not really built to be just one storyline. It’s never just been about L’manburg.
While the Camarvan was built, Fundy and Eret were having their Prank War.
The same day Dream and Tommy fought to bargain with Skeppy, Fundy was getting into a court battle with Punz, Eret and Tubbo.
While the Election was happening, so was the Pet War.
In the middle of Pogtopia building its resistance, the Battle of the Lake happened with Tommy, Sapnap and the Badlands.
The SMP has always had storylines going on at the same time. It’s just that since most of the viewers have always focused on Tommy and Wilbur for the most part, a lot of the time those extra storylines slipped through the cracks of memory.
Now let’s get back to the geopolitics vs. character-driven thing:
This feeling of “stagnation” isn’t new! The SMP’s had periods like this, where it feels a bit slower and everyone’s a little confused about where it’s going before.
Remember that period from like, October 18th to November 6th or so where pretty much nothing happened to progress the plot? And since none of the other streamers on the SMP were doing their own plots, it was just kind of this period of...”who knows what’s happening right now?”
The thing about a politics-based plot vs. a more character-driven, million side-stories type deal is that as long as none of the country leaders were online, nothing could really happen to progress the main plot, and since the character-driven stuff wasn’t the main focus, that couldn’t drive much either.
So...yeah, you got the Tubbo Bathwater stream three days after the Festival happened. That’s just kinda how it went.
Schlatt only got on very rarely, Wilbur a bit less rarely, and Dream logging onto his own server was always more of a surprise more than a routine. Tommy and Techno were getting into hijinks, but there weren’t really any political stakes. Even though he was supposed to be exiled, Tommy just moved back into his house anyway, because who was going to stop him? The one person who cared about him staying out wasn’t there to do anything.
Yes, the Big Plot Days like the Festival and the Meeting were jaw-dropping and amazing! I loved them! Incredibly-written, incredibly-acted.
But what about what happened between them?
One thing I’ve enjoyed about the recent period is that it feels like a lot more streamers are keeping track of their characters and holding onto longer plot threads. It feels like more people are interacting with each other instead of doing builds by themselves. And even the main plot is progressing at this more subtle, bit-by-bit pace where there’s a bit of new development with each stream. The big event days still happen, like the New Festival and the Execution, but the pacing’s a lot more consistently spread out. And with all these other streamers keeping their own mini stories as well, it’s more of this melting pot of different people interacting, each with their own arc and tale to tell.
Ponk and Jack, for example, are keeping their ongoing rivalry. Sam, Bad and Ant are getting into their own storyline whereas before, the Badlands weren’t really doing much of anything. And Karl’s been doing the same fun side-things that he’s always done for months, but he’s recently started to try and find a niche for himself by trying these light-hearted events or his new Tales series, which could end up being really cool the more he refines it!
I feel like a lot of the “chaos” feeling isn’t really from how the SMP’s main storyline has been written; most of the main plot has still kept to L’manburg and Techno.
It’s just that more people are taking notice of all the side hijinks that are going on in the background all the time, and some of the people who weren’t involved in the main plot before have started creating their own storylines for fun.
I will say it again and again: you don’t have to follow along with every storyline! If it overwhelms you to try and keep up with the Blood Vines? That’s okay! You as a viewer have the freedom to create the viewing experience that makes you the most comfortable, that brings you the most joy!
But I also think people could try and branch out a bit too. Give some new creators a try. No pressure or anything, and it’s fine if you just want to stick to Tommy or Techno! But there are a lot of talented people on the SMP, and I feel like some of these smaller stories are worth paying attention to if you’re interested!
Aaaaanyway, this is just a long, long post with some nonsense thoughts that I felt like getting out. Feel free to disagree! The SMP’s an interesting piece of media that everyone’s going to experience slightly differently. What may be my cup of tea might not be yours, and vice versa! :]
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Scenario ask regarding everyone’s favorite evil spy! F! Angel and 180 run into each other on assignment at a fancy ball and end up dancing. what can I say, I love me my tropes.
This got way longer than it was supposed to be, and also I was having trouble ending it so it does end a bit abruptly. But I hope you like it!
---
The music changes, and an irresistible idea comes to your mind. "Care to dance?" You stretch out your hand - an invitation, a challenge.
She takes it. You knew she would.
---
Music drifts across the driveway from the open double doors. Behind you, a valet drives away with your car, leaving you to make your way towards the house. You have to hold your skirts up, picking your way daintly across the gravel. The dress is huge, and the panniers took some time to get used to moving in them, but they have their advantages. You feel like you could stow a rocket launcher under this skirt. Not that you've gone quite that far.
Some guests are lingering outside; Abraham Lincoln deep in conversation with a Greek philosopher, and as you politely squeeze past the philosopher laughs and says, "Got any cake?"
Inside, you are ushered into an anteroom, where you take a moment to exchange niceties with your hostess, an excitable Elizabeth I. Thankfully, there are a lot of people wanting to talk to her, and you are able to slip away again after a moment, alert for your target.
There he is, in the rather cheap Caesar costume, waving a wineglass around to punctuate his conversation. You sigh. He's hard enough to put up with when he isn't drunk. But, the mission is what is it. You move in. Smile. Talk. Learn enough to know that you're going to have wait until later to get to what you want. At least that means you won't have to stick this close to him all night, but you hate waiting. How boring.
You're heading to the buffet table, when the crowd parts, a tall woman in top hat and tails turns, and your eyes meet her blue ones with a moment of mutal shock.
Shock gives way to calculation, and then a rueful smile. You're sure your own face shows the same journey of emotion. You both begin moving at the same time, meeting in the middle.
Angel's suit is monochrome, and though not revealing or overly tight, it follows the lines of her body closely, making her legs look even longer. The top hat sits at a jaunty angle on her head; her hair is scraped back, emphasizing her cheekbones. She takes in your costume with wry amusement. "Marie Antoinette? Bien, ç'est charmant."
"Merci," you say, inclining your head, infusing your voice with a ton of sugar and an ounce of venom. "How nice to see you."
"Shouldn't you curtsy?"
"I'm the queen," you say, locking eyes with her, your lips curving into a deliberate, challenging smile. "Shouldn't you kneel?"
Delight flashes in her eyes. "Careful, chérie. You know what the French do to queens."
"And who are you supposed to be?"
She gestures at her suit and gives a theatrical shrug. "A historical figure, can’t you tell? Honestly, I already had this in my wardrobe. It was a last minute invitation."
"Oh really? And who were you invited by?"
"A friend," she says lightly. "And you? Or are you here for me?" It's said like a joke, but her eyes remain on you and there's a tension in her jaw.
"Believe it or not, there are more important things in the world than you." Even as you say it you're wondering whether what you see on her face is an act. Is she here because of your mission, and the surprise just an illusion?
Of course, you have to stick with her and find out now, don't you? Alas, you literally have no choice. Such a shame.
The music changes, and an irresistible idea comes to your mind. "Care to dance?" You stretch out your hand - an invitation, a challenge.
She takes it. You knew she would.
"Who's leading?"
You didn't mind until she asked the question, but now you have to say, "Me."
Her smile widens.
You step close to her, take a breath of her perfume, and trail your fingers up her spine to her waist. She brushes her hand ever-so-lightly across the skin bared by the neckline of your dress before resting it on your shoulder. You're not looking up to meet her eyes, but you can feel her gaze on you, like you always can. Like you just stepped into a spotlight. And you're about to give one hell of a show.
You notice she's not so sure of the steps at first, glancing down at your feet to copy your movements, but she picks it up quickly. Of course, that means you have to up the ante. You break apart from her, your skirts flaring out around you, and lock your right arm with hers. She picks up your intent immediately, and you circle around each other before moving apart for a breath, fingertips stretched out, just touching.
"So I have a question," she says. "Not about work, just a little curiosity I have, you know." She spins elegantly back into your arms, once again close enough for you to feel the heat from her body.
"Yes?" you say, wary.
"I heard once that with the old-style dresses," she says, leaning in still closer, her head lowered into the curve of your neck, "to make it easier for the ladies to use the toilet, they would not wear anything underneath." Her breath caresses your ear. You can hear the grin in her voice. "So I'm just wondering... how accurate is the costume?"
You concentrate very, very hard on the next few steps, and manage to not trip over your feet. It doesn't help that your brain decides at that moment to make you very aware of her hand in yours, and all the things you know she can do with those hands...
But then, warns a last bastion of common sense, you really don't want her finding out what gear you actually have hidden under these skirts.
"You really want to know?" you say, lowering your voice seductively.
"Mm-hmm."
"First, tell me why you're really here."
"That's it?"
"To start with."
"Mostly, it's just a social event. There's people I need to keep contact with, in case I need them for the future."
It sounds plausible enough. There are faces in the crowd you recognise. The coincidence is possible, given the circles you're both running in. The question is, how much overlap is there between the people you know and the ones Angel knows? She'll never give away the details; there's no point in even asking. Really, just as long as your Caesar isn't mixed up in her business, it shouldn't be a problem, right?
"Satisfied?" she purrs. "So, what are you really doing here?"
You consider an outright lie, but it feels unfair to her. That's not how your game goes.
"Honestly? If I told you, I'd have to kill you."
She gives a soft laugh. "You'd have to try." You move together for a few more bars in silence, then she says, "You know there are people here who are protected?"
"Give me a list of them, and I'll try to avoid any clashes," you say dryly.
"You know what I'm saying."
"I do," you reply with a sigh. The music winds to an end, and you both come to a stop. "Business before pleasure, I suppose?"
"Why not both?" she says, and leans in to kiss your cheek. "Come find me if you want to get in more trouble." She adjusts her hat, flashes you one more brilliant smile, and then just before the dancers around you start to move again, threads neatly through them and is gone.
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Your Gay Uncle Harry
Okay so I have been really hung up with all those photos of Harry in Italy recently and one thing came to mind when looking at all the photos: Gay Uncle. I even made a post about it! So now I present to you a small fic about your gay Uncle Harry. It’s written in 2nd person pov because I don’t like the feel of 1st person. I...have no idea why I wrote this, and who would even enjoy this but here it is! This is...diffrent from anything I’ve ever written before but I sorta fell in love with this, so I hope you do too.
My own prompt: harry is giving gay rich uncle who you don’t really know too much about because he’s always traveling around with his boyfriend but always invites you and your cousins to his villa in the south of italy for the summer where he plays host
Your family never really talks about him, and when you were younger you never really understood why. The way they all talked about him seemed like he had passed, always in past tense, never spoken about with happiness, always in hushed whispers. Always when the children were away, out of sight out of mind.
When you were younger you pictured him as a ghost, a white sheet with curly hair, bunny teeth, and dimples. You pictured him living hundreds of years ago, in the city somewhere if you were itching to get out of the country, and sometimes in the country herding sheep when you were in the city missing home.
It took a while, but then you finally understood why no one really talks about Uncle Harry. You grew up on a vineyard in California. Uncle Harry was born in a small village in the UK. There is one picture of you and him together, and it’s when you were a baby. His mum, his sister (your Aunt Gemma), and Uncle Harry all traveled to the United States for the first time to see you.
Your mother holds up the picture, she doesn’t understand your curiosity about your Uncle, and quite frankly you can tell that it annoys her, but she tries not to show it for your sake.
You hold the picture up with shaky hands. You’re nervous because you’ve never really seen a picture of him before, it’s like he had been erased from history. Or your family tried very hard to make sure that he was. So when you see his big bright smile, wild curls, and steady arms holding you almost nineteen years ago you want to cry. You don’t, because then you would have to explain to your mom why you’re crying but you sniffling some here and there. He’s holding you with so much pride, so much love, like your his baby, and this is a photo taken right after he’s given birth.
“Why...I mean I guess I don’t understand why you all never really talk about him.” You say.
Your mom pauses, she turns away from you for a second. “I...honestly I think there was a falling out years ago and...and we all know Harry can hold a mean grunge like nobodies business. All of us can really. But, I mean he still comes around sometimes when he’s not busy traveling the world, to say hi and he always asks for updates on you kids.”
You nod, the photo in your hand weighs heavy in between your finger tips. Then your mom pulls out her phone, goes to Facebook, and pulls up Uncle Harry’s page. It’s like an explosion of rainbows, of the likes you’ve never really seen before. Only on the internet, communities you guard with all of your heart, a safe space for your eyes only. And then you start to understand why it’s all hushed voices when talking about Uncle Harry. You scroll for hours through his page, later on, watch video after video, smile at every picture he puts up.
A random dish from a random country he visited last month. Funny old people memes that make you snort. Him all wrapped up in the pride flag, and what you assume is his lover right beside him. A picture from a few weeks ago of them embracing, his name starts with an L and that’s all Uncle Harry says about him regarding his name. Post after post after post about how he had found the one, how in love he was, how his boyfriend was pushing him to reconnect with his family, his love for his smile, the way his eyes crinkle, the barely-there freckles that dot his cheeks. The moments they’ve shared, the heartache they’ve endured, the sweet bliss and utter happiness and love they have for each other.
You cry. Not because you’re upset, but because of how robbed you were of knowing your Uncle. So you friend him on the Facebook you created an hour ago. When you get a message from him two days later asking if your family or a friend of the family you yell and thank whoever is above that no one is home. You reply that he’s your Uncle, go over the semantics on who your dad is, your mom, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma, papa. By the end he sends you a video, saying how he doesn’t understand all the texting and emojis and you call him an old man and he says he doesn’t take offense to that.
“I like to think of myself as an old soul. Also I’m only thirty-seven, that’s hardly old.”
You laugh at his accent, and he laughs at your lack of one.
You never talk about what happened that made him estranged from the family, but deep down you understand. And when he says he can see a little of himself in you, you cry.
It’s summer, you're at home miserable because of the sweltering heat. The past few days you’ve been to a lot of family gatherings, and it annoys you that the hushed whispers about Uncle Harry never stop. You want to yell at them, to scream and sing his praises but you don’t. And then your mother walks through the side glass doors, her white cowboy hat sling low on her head. Yours sits on the ground below you, an ant crawls by slowly. She looks over at you, once, then again, and then she smiles and nods to herself, hangs up, and walks over.
“Your Uncle Harry is inviting you and your cousins to his villa in Italy if you want to go.” She says it so nonchalantly that you think she’s joking around and you roll your eyes. She shrugs and crosses her arms, stares you down. That’s how you know she’s not joking.
The next thing you know you're on a long flight to Italy. Five of your cousins are on the same flight, the rest of them declined. And then you’re getting off the plane, taking a car, and now you’re standing in front of a house. The stone feels warm under your fingertips as you slide your hand across the side of the house. You’re welcomed by Uncle Harry’s boyfriend, his smile friendly and inviting. His fringe gets in his eyes a lot, and he complains about it, says your Uncle loves his hair like this. You smile, something deep inside you settling.
He takes you all on a small tour, shows you your rooms, tells you your Uncle went on a shopping trip, and should be back very soon. He leaves you to unpack, and you leave your suitcase on the twin-sized bed, wandering around amazed at everything. It feels like home, in a way where you know you won’t get homesick from being here for the summer. It feels like love, like taking a bit out of a warm cookie, like a cuddle with your mom while it rains outside, like curling up next to the fire with a good book. You haven’t felt this way in a long time.
And if there’s one thing no one tells told you about Uncle Harry, is that he sure does know how to make an entrance. You’re looking at the view of the sea beside the pool, you can hear the sound of children playing on the beach below, people moving around in the house behind you, the gentle sway of the leaves as a light breeze blows through.
“How’s the view?”
He startles you, bright big smile on his face and his bunny teeth on display. His hair is shorter than the pictures he’s uploaded before, and he’s actually been able to grow a mustache. He laughs when you tell him this before pulling you into a big hug. You don’t cry like you thought you would, but you do tear up a little.
“I can’t believe you’re actually real.” You say. You still think of him sometimes as a ghost, but without the paper sheet and more real, a little translucent at times.
He pulls back, an arm slung around your shoulder as he hip checks you, his sunburnt nose moves a little as he says, “In the flesh, love.”
You don’t tell him this, but later on as the summer winds down, as the gentle breeze that brought a little moment of peace between the unrelenting day's of heat starts to pick up more, and as classes are due to start again you think about how this was the best summer ever. You hug him extra tight before you and your cousins head off home. And just before you get in the cab he pulls you aside and gives you a rainbow pin.
He tells you, “Your never alone. I know how it feels, but know that you’ve got someone in your corner rooting for you.”
You cry, waving goodbye to Uncle Harry and his boyfriend as they wave back embracing. You take the pin and stick it to your shirt, you get a smile from one of your cousins at the airport and the weight on your shoulder lift a little.
#*#when I say I have no idea what this is yall#but I wrote it and it's the most ive wrote in literal WEEKKKKSSS ijuhygtf anyways embarrassed look away!!!#format of the pictures suck bc you can't add read more on the app and on the app is the only way you want put two pics#in a text post together side by side anyways look away!!#my writing
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𝖕𝖗 𝖚𝖓𝖇𝖔𝖝𝖎𝖓𝖌
ɪɴᴜᴋᴀɢ | ʜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴏɴ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ | ʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛ
@horriblehowl
YOU WANT IT YOU GOT IT BAYBEEE.
i have been working on this for lol too long but i’m HOWLING (get it) at what i just created. it’s an abomination in the best way. enjoy.
SUMMARY: Inuyasha helps Kagome open her PR boxes on camera and is astounded at what she receives.
tagging: @princessinume, @rightoveryonder, @digital-art-monster, @heathersmusings, @nectarine500, @biancam70, @keichanz, @mickisketch, @mamabearcat , @littlestuffstohide, @misteria247, @aizawa-slaysme, @preciouslyours, @clementinesgulag, @sailorbabydoll92, @trepidatingboarfetus, @karibookat, @liz8080, @chimichangadude, @kagometaishostory, @shinidamachu, @blairex, @bluejay785, @ruddcatha, @inuyashasimp, @bluehawaiicat, @caribmiko, @ghostinluke, @hnn-wnchstr , @horriblehowl, @lavendertwilight89, @anxietyaardvark, @i-dream-of-soup, @sistasecbhere, @neutronstarchild, @kaze-ranna, @bigjakenenergy, @holi-holy, @marak7, @its11-11, @pinkpigeonstudio, @ntkrrs, @mymidnightnightmare, @smmahamazing, @sailorlolo
AO3 + FFN
“Please tell me this is the last of ‘em.”
How many times had they gone to and from her car, grabbing boxes and boxes of PR that they’d picked up from her PO box. Watching him carry many more boxes than herself towards the front of her apartment building, she let out a small giggle, knowing that he’d become used to this by now.
“Yup!” she chirped before following after him with the three boxes that she’d grabbed from the backseat. Kagome followed after him, managing to press the lock button on her key and hear the familiar beeps.
Taking their millionth trip up the elevator, Inuyasha adjusted some of the boxes he was holding with a grunt, “Some of these boxes are fuckin’ heavy, Kagome. What the hell is in here?”
“I honestly have no idea. You know how some brands are. Remember when I showed you that box that had a small screen inside that played a video? They’re intense sometimes.” It seemed as though brands were trying to up the ante these days, making their PR more elaborate and opulent. A waste was what Kagome called it. She’d asked some brands to just send their products in a simple box, nothing else. Some complied and others seemed to have missed the memo.
Hearing the ding, the doors opened and Kagome walked out first, knowing she would need to open the door and let him in. As much as she would find it easier to just leave the door unlocked, she knew there was already thousands of dollars worth of product inside that people could easily steal.
Holding the door open, she watched her boyfriend carry the last of the boxes in before kicking the door shut behind her. Kicking off her shoes, she followed Inuyasha to the living room, where they’d been stacking the boxes in front of the couch. It was too crowded to open boxes in her studio and Inuyasha didn’t feel comfortable filming in his home, so Kagome opted for the living room.
Typically, Kagome would film while Inuyasha did some work in her bedroom, but today she’d roped him into coming on camera with her and participate in a PR unboxing haul, “Thank you for carrying those boxes up, babe,” she praised, watching as he carefully stacked the boxes on top of one another.
“Yeah well, if I didn’t do it, you’da been doin’ this all day,” he countered in an attempt to deflect her thanks, an old habit that he’d yet to break. Placing the last box down, he placed his hands on his hips to marvel at his handiwork, “There. Done.”
“Looks great,” she complimented as she moved to stand beside him, gently maneuvering him so he faced her so she could get up on her tiptoes and wrap her arms around his neck. Easily, Inuyasha sank into her touch, wrapping his arms around her waist and happily letting her press a kiss to his lips. Allowing it to linger for a moment or two before pulling away, Kagome smiled up at the man that she’d been dating for the past year and a half, “I’m excited,” she stated honestly, not surprised by the perplexed expression on Inuyasha’s face.
“Why?”
“I like filming with you, is all,” stated as if it were obvious, she could see his cheeks flush as he averted his gaze, “My followers like it, too.”
“Keh. I ain’t interesting to watch,” he scoffed while feeling Kagome’s lips press to his jawline out of comfort. Turning his head back to her, he stole a kiss from her, unable to help himself.
“Yes you are,” she murmured against his lips, still keeping her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled away enough to find his gaze with her own, “You gunna take your hat off?” she knew it was a sensitive subject, and by the way he tensed in reaction to her question, Kagome understood that he wasn’t ready, “It’s okay. You don’t need to,” she reassured, unwrapping her arms and running them down the front of his chest as she lowered back onto her heels.
Inuyasha knew that Kagome loved his ears, she made that blatantly obvious whenever she could; rubbing them while they lay on the couch, teasing them with her lips if she wanted to get back at him for making her beg, and he knew if they were in public she would take every chance to touch them. Yes. Kagome was accepting and loving towards his appearance and what it meant, but he knew not everyone was like that. Hell, before Kagome, every person he showed them to found them strange.
“Uh, yeah. Not yet,” or ever.
Nodding in understanding, she released herself from his grip and began making her way to her studio, “Gunna help me move the lights and camera?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he conceded, subconsciously adjusting the beanie on his head as he followed in after her.
They had to sit on the floor, the camera and her more portable lights set up in front of them on the other side of the coffee table. Adjusting the white balance, lighting and contrast, she finally settled on an image that suited her taste. All the while, her rather impatient boyfriend remained seated cross legged with his arms folded across his chest. Wearing a black henley with the first two buttons undone, it was easy to see the hint of fresh ink that began to sprawl over the entirety of his chest.
“Okay, got it,” Kagome finally said, pressing record and moving to sit beside him before adjusting her light grey tank top topped by a thin black cardigan.
“About time,” he murmured with the intent to only do so to himself, but soon saw Kagome shoot him a glare.
“I need to make sure it’s in focus and properly balanced - this isn’t something we can just do over,” she explained in a rather scolding tone, only to see her boyfriend give her one of his infamous eyerolls. Not in the mood for his attitude, she smacked his arm with the back of her hand, looking up at him with her own scowl.
“Hey! Jesus. Can we just start?” He snapped, glowering down at her with a furrowed brow. Kagome continued to glare at him, Inuyasha unsure just what she wanted him to do and he wanted to figure it out soon; he could only handle that glare for so long.
“Apology kiss,” she demanded, keeping her face close to his while Inuyasha scoffed in faux inconvenience before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her lips. It was short and sweet, rewarded with a bright smile on her face as she broke away, “Okay, we can start now.”
After a quick introduction to her channel, she let her followers know that Inuyasha would be helping her unbox PR, “As you can see we have...a wall of boxes that Inuyasha graciously carried up and stacked so well,” she stated with a soft giggle, looking to her boyfriend as he peered behind him with a grin, “Do you wanna choose the first one we open?” she asked, seeing his gaze flit towards hers and back to the boxes.
“Sure.”
As he gently gripped random boxes, trying to see which one was loose enough to grab without toppling the whole thing over, Kagome continued, staring back towards the camera as she did so, “As I always do with my PR unboxings, I’ll be putting things aside for a giveaway. All you gotta do is go to the link in the description and complete everything there to enter - the end date to enter will be there too.”
Grabbing a medium-sized box, he pulled it down without disturbing the structure behind them and placed it in his lap.
“Oh! Let me grab a knife,” Kagome stated while climbing to her feet and running to the kitchen. Inuyasha was about to tell her to not bother, but simply shrugged when he heard her patter around the kitchen.
By the time she’d returned with the knife, holding it rather valiantly and proudly, the package was already sliced open, “Wait. What?” she asked, only to see Inuyasha lift his hand with a face full of disbelief towards her lack of realization that he had claws, “Oh!” she gave a slightly embarrassed laugh, “Right!” she waved her hand at him flippantly, as if she’d known the whole time.
Shaking his head in bemusement, he looked down to the box and opened it, seeing a bunch of extra packaging before finding the products that lay beneath, “I don’t know what any of this is,” he stated bluntly as he pulled a few products out and held them out for her to take without looking at her so he could rummage around for more. Taking the products, she looked at one of the boxes and lit up with excitement.
“Oh! This is the new Milk Makeup™ foundation and primer. I’ve heard you guys tell me that you want me to review these so I’ll put those aside,” and she did just that, prepared to make two separate piles: one for the giveaway and one for her to keep. As soon as she’d put those products down, she saw Inuyasha holding out another handful for her to take. Taking those, she talked through what each product was until Inuyasha reached back to grab another box.
Opening it with his index finger, he pulled it open before scrunching his nose and turning his head away on the verge of coughing, “Fuckin’ hell. This box reeks,” he choked out before finally letting out a cough to try and get the taste out of the back of his throat. With his head turned away, he shoved the box into Kagome’s lap while lifting his tattooed arm to shove his mouth and nose into the crook of it.
“Are you okay?” she asked, somewhat amused by his visceral reaction, especially since she knew exactly was in the box, “I guess I should tell Bath and Body Works™ to not send any more candles,” she stated as she pulled out a three-wicked candle that supposedly was scented with sandalwood and pine, “Or I’ll just burn them when you’re not around.”
“Like hell you are! Burnin’ ‘em would just make the whole apartment smell,” he countered, only to hear Kagome release an amused giggle. He wasn’t wrong, it would make it smell for at least a couple of days and would likely end up causing her to hold the same scent. As much as she adored burning a nicely scented candle, inconveniencing her boyfriend held precedent, especially if that as his reaction.
“Guess they’re going in the giveaway,” she stated before closing up the box and setting it as far away from Inuyasha as possible. Though the scent lingered, it was far away enough for the scent to not burn his nostrils and shoot down the back of his throat, “Can you grab that huge box by the end of the couch? I think that’s gunna take a while to go through,” she prompted, seeing Inuyasha climb to his feet with a nod.
Needing to slide the box into frame, it reached Kagome’s shoulders as she sat, “This one was heavy,” Inuyasha stated bluntly as he knelt down as used his claw to open it up. Leaning over, she could see a bunch of frosted bags inside and her brows furrowed, “Huh…” Inuyasha began before pulling out one of the bags and handing it to her.
Adjusting the bag right-side up, she could see a logo that she couldn’t discern before sliding the bag open and peering inside, “Oh! I think that’s full of swimwear!” Kagome stated as she pulled the bright-red two piece from the bag as she listened to Inuyasha rummage around through the box, as if he was searching for something.
“I swear I saw it…” he muttered before feeling the poster board against his fingers, “Ah-ha!” Pulling the piece of paper from the box, he saw that it was a postcard with an image of white, sandy beaches and palm trees.
“What does it say?”
“Uh,” Inuyasha flipped it over and stared at the words for a moment before finally reading it aloud, “Dear Kagome and Inuyasha, we are so excited to have you join our brand trip this summer. To make sure you’re prepared, here’s a big box of swimwear for the two of you to wear while enjoying the sandy beaches and crystal clear waters of Hawaii. We’ve also thrown in some new products that we think you’ll love. We’ll be seeing you soon. From, Trippin’ with Tarte™.” Inuyasha glanced towards the box before handing the card over to Kagome so she could look over it, “So, this whole box is just swimwear?”
“Hmm, no, I don’t think so,” she mused before getting on her knees herself and digging through the box, feeling something plastic at the bottom of it. Tugging on it, she made a sound of struggle before yanking it out and falling back on her ass with a yelp. A large, clear plastic weekender bag landed in her lap, filled with products - some new and some old.
“You okay?” Inuyasha couldn’t help but ask, though it was obvious that she was fine, “That’s a lot of shit,” he added, seeing the bag filled at least half way with product.
Kagome knew that she would need to do a lot of censorship in this video, as she normally did when Inuyasha came on camera with her. Though her main audience were people her age, there were still younger viewers that watched her and she was conscious of that. Yet, she didn’t want Inuyasha to try and censor himself while they were filming - she already knew she was asking a lot of him to even just be sitting in front of the camera in the first place.
“Yeah,” she replied, lifting the bag and inspecting it, “Wow, there’s so much in here. Thank you Tarte™. The bathing suits look great too. I’m gunna go through this bag later and see if there is anything that’ll go in the giveaway.” Placing the bag to the side, she watched as Inuyasha effortlessly lifted the box and slid it away on the wood floor.
Peering behind him, he could hear Kagome ask if he could grab the bright red, medium sized box that was right smack dab in the middle of the stack, “That’s gunna bring the whole thing down, if I do; I guarantee it,” he challenged, letting his attention fall back to his girlfriend with a skeptical expression.
“I believe in you,” she chirped in deflection, offering him a cheeky smile as Inuyasha narrowed his gaze towards her.
Muttering to himself, he began pulling at the box, placing his hand on the boxes above it in hopes that they wouldn’t fall over. The box itself was deceptively heavier than he’d originally thought it to be, dense and very obviously not holding makeup. The scent of silicone heavily coated the box, leaving him slightly confused as he yanked it out.
For a moment he thought he was successful in his jenga move, but slowly the boxes started to tilt in their direction, “Oh shit!” he called out, while Kagome let out a shriek of surprise. Quickly, Inuyasha reached to grab Kagome and pull her against his chest while she held her own arms over her head in an attempt to keep any boxes from hitting her. Thankfully, most of them were relatively light, tumbling off Inuyasha back and onto the floor.
When it became clear that all of the ones that would fall, did, Inuyasha pulled from Kagome some, looking down at her with an unimpressed face fixed with a light dose of smugness, “Told ya.”
Kagome gave him a nervous laugh while looking up at him, “Oops,” she apologized while Inuyasha cut the tape of the box that’d been the cause of the avalanche. His eyes never left her face as he did so, that same unimpressed look on his own as he opened the box and reached inside. It was only when he grabbed another box (though much larger than any he’d grabbed before) that he looked away from her and towards whatever was in his hand.
Both of them froze at the realization of what it was, choking on their embarrassment and shock.
“What is this?” Inuyasha sputtered, turning his attention to Kagome and away from the rather high-tech looking pink dildo that he held in his hand.
Kagome’s face went beat red, catching his gaze with her own and trying hard not to laugh, “It’s-
“I know what it is!”
That was it. Kagome couldn’t hold back her laughter, letting it erupt from her lungs as she loudly and playfully argued, “You asked!”
“Are companies sendin’ you sex toys now?!” He asked rather incredulously, gesturing to the box in his hand as Kagome kept up her fit of laughter. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, she continued her laughing fit as her boyfriend’s face fell back into one of lack of impression.
When she finally managed to get herself under control, she wiped away the tears from her eyes while her laughter turned into small fits of giggles, “You done?” he asked flatly, seeing her nod as she reached out to grab the full box and dig out the card that she knew probably came along the product.
Finding it, she pulled it out and began to read it, “It’s from adamandeve.com,” she managed to say, though when she saw the next line, she couldn’t help but struggle to get the words out through laughter, “They,” a deep breath, “they gave me a p-promo code!” She fell back into a fit of laughter, leaning her head forward to rest it on Inuyasha’s shoulder.
Out of everything she could have received, he had to admit, sex toys were very last one his list. Taking the card from Kagome’s hand, he read the print on the front of it, “Fifty percent off your first order if you use the code: KAGOME50. Are you serious?! They’re givin’ you a fuckin’ affiliate link?!”
Kagome was laughing so hard she was silent, mouth open and eyes closed tight as she kept leaning on him to keep herself from falling over.
“Jesus Kagome. How old are you - twelve?”
“Your face!” she practically screamed, “I’m keeping all of this!”
“Like hell you are!” he scolded, only to see her nod in defiance, catching her breath with deep gasps as she straightened.
“I gotta let people know about the code,” she teased, both of them knowing full well that PR was never a guaranteed promotion. Peering down to the box, she opened it up a little more, “What else is in here, anyways?” she asked, sniffling as she wiped away a stray tear from the immense laughter she’d just partook in. Pulling out a ball gag, a butt plug and handcuffs, she could see the way her boyfriend side-eyed them.
Tilting her head, she held up the box of cuffs with an inquisitive and playful expression, “Something interest you?” she asked, hearing her boyfriend give a dismissive scoff before folding his arms across his chest and averting his gaze, “That means yes.”
“Imma use that gag on you if you don’t shut your mouth,” he stated, flitting his gaze down to the box with the gag and back up to her face as he spoke.
“That a promise?”
“Shut up,” he snapped back, though with a hint of a smile behind his tone, “We still got this pile of boxes to go through.”
“Since when do you care if we finish filming a video?” Kagome asked, pushing her index finger against the side of his arm.
“Since you always make us get up and finish after we get distracted,” he rebutted, leaning closer to her to emphasize his point, arms still folded across his chest, “I’d rather just finish this so we don’t havta think about anythin’ else,” there was no seduction in his voice, no low husk or hint of arousal. It was matter of fact and, frankly, annoyed in nature, “Now can we move on?”
“Sounds like you got one of these up your ass,” she stated, holding up the butt plug with a cheeky grin on her face.
“Kagome, I swear t’god-” he warned, only to hear her giggle and feel her press a kiss to his cheek, dismantling any true anger or frustration he felt towards her.
Lifting her free hand, she coaxed his head to turn towards her, leaning forward to give a soft, small kiss to his lips before asking, “Can you pass me another box?”
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Work in progress post:
Detective Watts Best Quotes
Concocting A Killer
Watts: “Ah, so you’re the one who botched it.” Murdoch: “Excuse me?”
Watts: “Well, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”
Brackenreid: “Listen, Detective Murdoch did nothing wrong. The Crown is just worried that Shanley may claim prejudice if the same detective reinvestigates the case.”
Watts: “Right, right, right. You’re just biased. The coroner’s the one who botched it. Coroners. Odd lot. Far from reliable to say the least. Not to mention the smell.”
Murdoch: “Our coroner has a flawless record. And she also happens to be my wife.”
Watts: “Good God, man. You’re married to the city coroner?”
Murdoch: “Yes.”
Watts: “Oof. Is she pretty? Ah, she’d have to be pretty. I don’t know how else you could tolerate being married to a colleague.”
“The streets of this fine city are my office.”
Crabtree: “Should I read these files?”
Watts: “Absolutely not. The less you know, the more pure you remain. From purity emerges truth. From truth emerges justice. Knowing nothing allows one to see everything.”
“Our mind is where we live our lives. The only home one needs is the human skull.”
Watts: “Oh, no. You interviewed a witness?”
Murdoch: “Oh, no. She called on me.”
Watts: “Your involvement was to cease entirely. Instead, it appears you are continuing to seek a conviction. And based on what? A visual test done 12 years ago by a neophyte coroner?”
Murdoch: “Dr. Ogden is my wife.”
Watts: “Which makes it all the more likely you’re blind to her mistakes. No, it appears this dinner was a poor idea. Good night Detective.”
Watts: “The detective was wrong.”
Ogden: “About what?”
Watts: “You’re not pretty.”
Ogden: “Excuse me?”
Watts: “Look at you. Classic, Romanesque bone structure, excellent physiognomic symmetry. You’re not pretty. You’re beautiful.”
Ogden: “Well, I suppose I’m flattered.”
Watts: “Why? It’s merely an objective assessment. But that necktie **shakes his head**.
“Honestly, Inspector, how does anyone work with this man? He is some kind of renegade to whom rules are a foreign concept.”
“Let’s suppose for a moment that Mr. Shanley is guilty of this current murder. Now, does that make him more or less likely to be guilty of the first? Are you the same man today you were yesterday? Your hair is not the same. You cut and discarded it. Same with your fingernails. Over time, our entire body falls away and is reconstituted. How, then, can you be the same? Oh, but our thinking changes with maturity, with experience. In truth, the continuity of personhood may be nothing more than a delusion. In fact, it makes me question our whole profession..."
“We need to get out of doors detective. The truth is in the air. We must **deep breath** breathe it in.”
“We both know you didn’t do it. — We have to blame someone. The function of the police is to attribute blame on behalf of the community, but the community doesn’t particularly care if we blame the right person. — Why not? Man has been using scapegoats since Leviticus. The sims were placed upon the goat, the goat was banished to the desert, but mo one cared that the goat was innocent.”
“The ignorami at Station One have done it again. I clearly told them to release the man who looks like Karl Marx. They’ve let out some fellow who’s as clean-shaven as bloody Kierkegaard.”
Hades Hath No Fury
“How could I have been so unaware? My sister was in distress, and I suspected nothing. Age is no excuse for inattention. -but, sir, you found her. Your sister’s alive.- Yes. So I’m at peace.”
“Yes. Well life is but a cruel sport for whatever maker you are forced to believe in. -Detective Watts I understand...- Would your sister forsake you for a house of women who have eschewed the world in which you live?-my sister was a nun.-“
“Truth is absolute, unyielding and eternal, Jackson. It is our one constant in a turbulent universe.”
“Your face is *pause* symmetrical, but that hat *shakes his head*”
Merlot Mysteries
Watts: “Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.”
Murdoch: “I highly doubt that”
Watts: “Oh, you reject the words of Benjamin Franklin?”
Murdoch: “Even a clever man is capable of a bad idea. no. wine, like any alcohol, is a depressant. It hinders the mind.”
Watts: “Ah, but ‘in wine there is truth.’ -Pliny the Elder.”
Murdoch: “Writers and Philosophers are seldom the best of judges. Especially when it comes to alcohol.
Watts: “Well, no one less than Louis Pasteur called wine, ‘the most helpful and most hygienic of beverages.’ Is it that you don’t enjoy the taste?”
Murdoch: “Ah.”
“Oh. Wait right there. I’m going to show you how wrong you are.”
“‘Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and a serious smile.’”
“In the words of Diogenes, ‘What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.’”
Murdoch: “Spectroscopic analysis.”
Watts: “Ah, yes. Not reliable in my experience. How’s it meant to help us?”
Murdoch: “By comparing the wine in question to the light profile of other varying ages, we’ll be able to discern precisely how old it is.”
Ogden: “The older the wine, presumably, the light the color, thanks to the blanching effect of sunlight.”
Watts: “Mm, but it was kept in a cellar. Depending on conditions, two bottles of the same provenance could be wildly different. There’s absolutely to way to determine —“
Murdoch: “Thank you, Detective. Please.”
Watts: “All right.”
Ogden: “Ready?”
Murdoch: “Yes.”
Ogden: “It’s 4.3.”
**Watts waiting + messing around.**
Ogden: “It’s 5.2. 8.5.”
Watts: “Well?”
Murdoch: “[Sighs] They are all different.”
Watts: “Really?”
Murdoch: “Every grape, every year, every bottle.”
Watts: “Hm, you don’t say.”
Murdoch: “It compares to an 1880 Merlot...a 1902 Tempranillo...and...several others.”
Ogden: “Well, I suppose you told us so, Detective.”
Murdoch: “All right. Call in your expert.”
Watts: “Uh, not my expert. My sommelier.”
The Talking Dead
“No one intends to get murder **scratches his beard** and yet.”
Crabtree: “Sir, are you not concerned that you yourself are marked for death?”
Watts: “Oh, I don’y like it, but the truth is death could come to any one of us any day.”
Crabtree: “Still, no need to hurry it along.”
Watts: “Well, very little of life is under our control. Very little death as well.”
Crabtree: “Watts, have you ever been to Paris?”
Watts: “Ah yes, The City of Light.”
Crabtree: “I thought that was Buffalo?”
Watts: “No, I believe Paris came up with it first. Why do you ask?”
Crabtree: “Nina’s involved with a show that’s preforming there. She wants me to go.”
Watts: “Forever?”
Crabtree: “No, no, just a short while.”
Watts: “Well, the world is only an oyster if you choose to open it.”
Crabtree: “So go to Paris today, for tomorrow I might die?”
Watts: “Precisely.”
Crabtree: “What about you? What would you do with your last day?”
Watts: “Just this. Talk to a friend.”
Crabtree: “Who? Oh me?”
Watts: “And solve a crime.This is what were looking for.”
Crabtree: “Brilliant.”
Watts: “The City of Love with a beautiful woman. You’d be a fool to say no.”
Crabtree: “Thought you said it was the City of Light.”
Watts: “Light. Love. Are they not one and the same?”
Crabtree: “I prefer to love with the lights off, sir. I fear I’m bashful.”
Crabtree à la Carte
“A shame. It looks terrific. I think I’ll go out for lunch. Anyone care to join me? —- This disappoints me. But I soldier on.”
“I’ll work with her. People are not to be defined merely by their words, thoughts, and actions.”
“KRRRKRRRKRRRSHING SHING SHING SHING SHING! a moleta.”
“[speaking Italian] RESPONDA TO ME!”
That man’s look tho.
Watts: “It may once again be safe, but I’m not sure I’ll ever regard meat with the same enthusiasm again.”
Cherry: “Perhaps you should stick to freshly butchered cuts.”
Watts: “I thought the same. Then I read up on the abattoir conditions in the stockyards.”
Cherry: “The Shelleys subscribed to a Pythagorean diet. Da Vinci too.”
Watts: “Pythagorean? You mean vegetarian?”
Cherry: “I do. ‘My body,’ said da Vinci, ‘will not be a tomb to other creatures.’”
Watts: “Yes. Yes, it’s the only way to live, isn’t it? Join me, Miss Cherry. From this day forward, we shall follow the ranks of all moral men in our strict adherence to vegetarianism.”
Cherry: “Uh, I don’t think so. What, are we cows?”
Murdoch Schmurdoch
“Are you being facetious?”
“**To Constable John Brackenreid** Let me guess, you invited a lady to accompany you on an outing and she declined. — I would counsel you to persevere. Ask again. As Lord Nelson wrote, ‘the boldest measures are the safest,’ although I suppose a woman is quite unlike a Danish Fleet. — Yes. Tread softly, Young Brackenreid. Let her know that if her inclination changes, your offer still stands.”
Game of Kings
Ogden: “I see. Well, I don’t much fancy being stared at for the next five months.”
Murdoch: “Julia...”
Ogden: “Inspector, I couldn’t help but notice that you and all of the men were staring at the us both. Is there something you’d like to ask?”
Brackenreid: “Uh, no.”
Ogden: “Constable Crabtree?”
Crabtree: “What? [Chuckles]”
Ogden: “Higgins?”
Higgins: “No, ma’am.”
Ogden: “What about you, Detective Watts? You seem like a curious fellow.”
Watts: “Well, there is one thing.”
Murdoch: “What is that?”
Watts: “When’s the baby coming?”
Crabtree: “Oh!”
Brackenreid: “Bloody hell, Watts! They wanted to keep it a secret.”
Watts: “How could they do that when everyone clearly knows what’s going on here?”
Free Falling
Watts: “One hopes this won’t put too much of a strain on their relationship.”
Crabtree: “How so?”
Watts: “In the face of great loss, emotions can be misdirected. Feelings amplified. I knew a young couple who experienced a similar issue. They never recovered.”
Watts: “The secret to dealing with gruesome remains is to replace natural instinct with logic.”
Constable Brackenreid: “Okay. How?”
Watts: “Consider an ant. Imagine you trod upon one, crushing it, and leaving it’s body mangled beyond recognition. Now, does this disturb you?”
Constable Brackenreid: “Not really.”
Watts: “Exactly. So we simply apply the transitive law. If we are not disturbed by an ant, there is no reason to be disturbed by a beetle. If not by a beetle, then not by a caterpillar. Nor a butterfly, nor a sparrow, nor a fish, nor a rabbit, not a dog...nor a human. What we have here, then, is no more disturbing than the squashed remains of an ant.”
Hart: “What’s this?”
Watts: “A reminder of the inhumanity of man, Miss Hart.”
Hart: “How poetic.”
Watts: “Constable? It seems something’s troubling you.”
Crabtree: “How so?”
Watts: “There’s an expression on your face that suggests you have a thought in your head.”
Crabtree: “Do you remember I asked you about visiting Paris?”
Watts: “No.”
Crabtree: “And then I was away for some time?”
Watts: “No.”
Crabtree: “No. Well, in any case, I did. I went to Paris with Nina.”
Watts: “Mm.”
Crabtree: “And she wants to go again, but for good.”
Watts: “So you’re considering leaving us all behind?”
Crabtree: “I don’t want to. My whole life is here. But I could imagine a life there. I don’t know. If I...If I don’t go, I lose Nina. If I do, I lose everything else that’s dear to me.”
Watts: “One loss doesn’t outweigh the other?”
Crabtree: “The enormity of either seems too great to contemplate.”
Watts: “Oof. Well...I can’t give you any advice. But I can tell you what I know. I know that we spend our whole lives holding on to what we have. We fear loss as much as death itself. But without loss, there is no change. Without change, there is no? Life.”
Crabtree: “Detective. You realize there’s nothing written on the blackboard, right?”
Watts: “Uh, yes, but it provides a frame of reference.”
Crabtree: “Ah.”
Brothers Keepers
“Of course I’m not certain. Memories are fragmentary impressions at best. The mind moves like a flock of starlings. It’s hard to pin down a thought, let alone a memory.”
“Did I have reason? Nigel Baker tortured and killed a man I...A man who was in every way my brother. Someone who deserved my protection. I had ample reason to kill Nigel Baker. But as I have already made clear, I didn’t recognize him. So did I kill him with intention? No. Am I sorry he’s dead? No, I’m not. To be honest, even if given the chance to exact my revenge, I’m not sure I’m capable of it. Obviously, my philosophy rejects that very idea. No one asks to be the way they are, not even boys like Nigel Baker.”
In reference to justice being found:
Watts: “Where is that to be found? I’ve been asking myself that. To be honest, I’m unable to think of much else.
Murdoch: “You seek justice.”
Watts: “I crave it. If I could, I would demand it. I want the man who killed my brothers to feel their pain. To feel my grief at what he did to them. But he’s dead. At the hand of his father. Did he even know why? And now the father will likely hang. Is that justice?
Brackenreid: “Of a sort, I suppose.”
Watts: “Then why don’t I feel better?”
Annabella Cinderella
Constable Brackenreid: “Do you think I’ll get a chance to meet him?”
Crabtree: “Who? The lawyer? What do you want to meet him for?”
Constable Brackenreid: “I-I followed the trial. I felt sorry for her.”
Crabtree: “John, she killed her mother with an ax.”
Constable Brackenreid: “Harriet Rawlins wasn’t her mother. Annabella was a home child.”
Crabtree: “So that makes it alright?”
Constable Brackenreid: “She was beaten and tortured. Her home sister admitted as much.”
Crabtree: “The home sister that Annabella then tried to murder?”
Constable Brackenreid: “Rosemary Rawlins was abusive as well.”
Watts: “That’s what made it such a brilliant defense. The victim was painted as a villain, the villain painted as a victim. Annabella Cinderella.”
Crabtree: “So you’re a fan of the lawyer as well?”
Constable Brackenreid: “He took her case for free.”
Watts: “Oh, nobody’s motives are purely altruistic. It’s all in the service of his political aspirations. He running for mayor, don’t you know?”
Crabtree: “Thank you very much, Detective Watts, for everything. You as well, Mr. Daniels.”
Constable Brackenreid: “And I’m terribly sorry about all of this.”
Watts: “Of course you’re sorry. It doesn’t change anything, so why waste energy in saying it?”
Constable Brackenreid: “Does Detective Murdoch know?”
Watts: “No, he doesn’t. And that’s not the question you should be asking right now.”
Constable Brackenreid: “Sorry, I...”
Watts: “Nope.”
Constable Brackenreid: “W-What is?”
Lawyer: “How do we find her?”
Watts: “Ah. On the train over, I went through the file from the Crown prosecutor. There’s one more person we should protect.”
Lawyer: “Who’s that?”
Watts: “The doctor who filed the death certificate and attended the case.”
Lawyer: “Dr. Beattie was never called to testify.”
Watts: “He provided evidence that helped convict her.”
Lawyer: “Good point. Let’s go.”
Watts: “No. You stay. **waves gun in the air** This is police business. All right.”
Constable Brackenreid: “I’m not saying she’s innocent. I just pointed out that there are other people who may have wanted to kill her mother.”
Watts: “Which, if they did, would ipso facto make her innocent.”
Crabtree: “Did she say she was innocent?”
Constable Brackenreid: “She did, yes.”
Watts: “‘Twas ever thus.”
Constable Brackenreid: **opens the door** “Oh, my God.”
Watts: “Still think she’s so innocent?”
Constable Brackenreid: “This is my fault.”
Crabtree: “It’s jot your fault, John.”
Watts: “Losing the prisoner was your fault. This is merely a consequence. One cannot be accountable for every consequence, because the consequences of every action are infinite.”
Constable Brackenreid: “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
Watts: “Your feelings are irrelevant. It’s simply the truth of it.”
Crabtree: “It does confirm our fears. The girl’s out for bloody revenge.”
#llewellyn watts#murdoch mysteries#jack walker#george crabtree appreciation society#detective watts#quotes
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Poppy Tea Consumption
For @badthingshappenbingo
Prompt: Be Careful What You Wish For taken from here.
Rating: T
Warnings: Mental instability and implications of violence.
Notes: Reincarnated!Tsukasa and Hanako-kun is too good of an idea to not attempt at least once. So I sure attempted! Tsukasa, of course, is not careful when it comes to what he wishes for at all. This could’ve been so much darker lmao but I wanted my attempt to be more subtle.
***Alternate Ao3 Link***
Commission? Donate?
In the old school building, on the third floor within the third stall of the girl’s bathroom, you have to knock on the door three times to contact one Hanako-san. It’s said that whoever succeeds in summoning her will have one wish granted. However, in return, she will seize a precious belonging.
In the past, there have been rumors of successful summons that have resulted in truly unfortunate events. Freedoms taken away, lost loved ones, and even complete ruination. Some girls have even gone missing as a result of contracting Hanako-san. It’s spooky stuff—but the last alleged contact happened over a decade ago. Who knows if it was still true anymore?
He really shouldn’t be up here but he can’t help but be curious. Third floor, third stall. He had to wait for three girls to leave before going in and knocking on the stall door three times.
“Hanako-san, Hanako-saaaaaaan,” he sing-songs. “Are you theeeeere?”
He waited, waited, and waited. He checked his phone. About three minutes passed. Aaaaaaaaand—
Nothing. Snorting, he even knocked again.
“Come oooon,” he whined. “That’s so booooring! Are you there or are you fake?!”
Still nothing. Sullenly, he kicked at the door. It creaked eerily, but that was it.
“So lame,” he grumbled, turning on his heel. “Guess I should just leave.”
Just as he was about to, he felt a chill down his spine, like he was being watched or reached for. He does still—and it happens. Something passes through him, causing him to shudder.
“Here I aaaaam,” a voice drones from behind, high-pitched and surreal.
Excitedly, he spun back around and practically kicked open the door. To his radiant delight, there was someone seated atop the toilet. It clearly wasn’t human—whatever it was had a faded outline and accompanying white will-o-wisps. It may have sat like a person, but...
“Hanako-san, right?!” he exclaimed. “It’s true! You’re real! You’re really real...and you’re also...in pants!”
Actually, ‘Hanako-san’ seemed to be dressed in a boy’s uniform with the hat pulled down so that the face was obscured. It was strange, he mused, tapping his lip curiously. “I didn’t know Hanako-san was a crossdresser, but okay! Stay there! Let me...take a picture!”
He already had his phone out, so it was a matter of angling the shot...making sure he got the will-o-wisps in frame... He snapped the photo, except what showed on his phone was nothing more than a sad, lonely toilet.
“Hmm...” His cheeks puffed as he inquired. “Do you think you can make yourself visible?”
“Is that really what you summoned me for?” Hanako drawls, sounding either cold or irritated. He’s used to that, so he just nods along without a care.
“Yep. My friend’s really into supernatural stuff, and she’s been giving me the cold shoulder lately. I think she’ll play with me again if I give her proof. Also, she’s in the broadcasting club, so it’ll be a cool announcement to make! Hanako-san’s real...! And now another student is at risk of going missing! Hehehe. Being spirited away by a ghost sounds fun! What happens when you spirit people away? Do you eat them? Do you flush them? Do ya, do ya, do ya?”
Hanako’s arms crossed, and the crossed tightly. Oh. Hanako was angry.
Even ghosts get angry with me, huh...
“Anyway!” he went on. “I wish for proof of your existence! That’s it! In return...you can have my pinky! Just the tip!”
Hanako’s lip curls in distaste, and he looks solemnly at his hand, wondering if maybe Hanako wants all the way to the knuckle. Maybe Hanako wants his organs instead. He supposes he can part with some of them, mainly the useless ones...except those wouldn’t have a lot of value, huh...
“You watch not only too much horror movies, but yakuza shows,” Hanako then sighed, sounding quite, quite tired. Like his homeroom teacher or even the principal. Super ancient, too. “I reject your wish.”
Huh?
“I reject it,” Hanako coldly repeated to his wide-eyed stare. “Get out.”
“Huuuuh?! Can you do that?!” But why? Why, why, why? “Why, why, why, why?”
“Enough.”
The room almost shook with the force of that order. Almost like facing down an abusive parent, he was baffled to be in this situation with a crossdressing ghost, of all things. That was strange! So strange!
“Is it a forbidden wish?” He wondered if that was it, even as he wondered-wondered about that. “But, what else am I supposed to wish for? I don’t really care about anything else. I don’t really need anything else...”
“Get out,” Hanako just coldly repeated. “Now.”
“But...” He protested childishly. “But why—?”
“YUGI!!” a voice bellowed, getting his attention. Turning, he could see just how angry and flustered his homeroom teacher was. The man only ever looked that agitated around cars. How strange. “What the hell are you doing in the girl’s bathroom?!”
“I was...” He trailed off. “I was talking to Hanako-san...”
“Honestly,” his teacher griped. “You and your outlandish stories.”
He stopped paying attention, noticing the girl peering inside. She was the calmest one there, as always.
“Sakura!” he exclaimed, rushing to her. “Hanako-san is real! Real and a crossdressing weirdo who won’t grant my wish!”
She catches him when he throws himself at her, whining into her shoulder.
“Hanako-san won’t grant my wish! And Hanako-san won’t even tell me why!”
“Tsukasa-kun,” she sighed, gripping the back of his uniform. “I told you not to cause trouble.”
“But, Sakuraaaaa!”
“That’s enough,” she snapped, stern but never cruel. “Sensei, I’m sorry for him.”
She tugs him away even as he wails.
“I don’t understand at aaaaaall!”
No one else replies. Sakura is dead quiet. But the silence left behind in that girl’s bathroom was thick enough to crush someone like an ant between fingertips.
--
“Eh... Honorable Seventh...” Tsuchigomori bows his head, clearly shaken and anxious. “You’re pretty angry, huh...?”
“Why would I be?” Hanako returned, eyes wide and vacant. Darker than the deepest abysses. “The living are not my concern.”
“Ah, guess not,” Tsuchigomori murmured, unconvinced. “Still... I’ll take responsibility...and leave.”
Hanako lets him depart, playing with his hat. Once alone, his expression twisted into something truly horrid.
“Even in this life... Tsukasa still...”
--
“You did something unnecessary again.”
“You were ignoring me,” Tsukasa accused, pouting across the snack table that Sakura set up with tea. “I thought you were mad.”
“Sorry,” Sakura’s mumble was more akin to acquiescing than apologizing. “It was not like that... I’m sorry.”
“Whatever.” Tsukasa waved his hand before reaching out and snatching a sugar cube. “I summoned Hanako-san, and it was suuuuch a disappointment.”
“No one has succeeded in summoning her in over a decade,” Sakura said. “It is not surprising.”
“No, I summoned Hanako-san,” he corrected sharply, smacking the table. “But Hanako-san took one look at me and not only refused my wish but also told me to get out! Do you think Hanako-san was in a bad mood?!”
Sakura blinks at him. She’s never been expressive and he never minded that about her.
“...right.” Her head bows again. “You said something like that earlier.”
“You didn’t pay attention!” he yelled, not angry at all. “You were drowning me out even though I summoned Hanako-san for you!”
“I did not ask you to do that,” Sakura sighed. “I...have made you anxious, yes... I did not think you would be that bothered, Tsukasa-kun.”
“I was!” His voice rises and rises. “I was even more bothered when Hanako-san rejected my wish! Am I that unbearable? I don’t understand! I even offered my pinky tips and everything! And all I wished for was proof! Shouldn’t Hanako-san have wanted the extra traction?! Instead...!”
Sakura sinks into her chair.
“You are...shouting, Tsukasa-kun...”
“I’m so agitated! I don’t understand! I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t!”
He ends up knocking over the tea, causing it to spill all over the table, the decorations, the cookies, and Sakura’s lap. She doesn’t even flinch even though it’s hot. She just stares at her stained blazer and skirt and without another word, gets up and leaves to go wash off. Tsukasa just watches her go sullenly. He laps at the tea, and it has a sour tinge.
Looking at his reflection, he perked up.
Something struck him as weird, really, incredibly weird.
--
“Hanako-san, Hanako-san, Hanako-san!” He knocks on the door once again. “Grant me! My wish!”
He didn’t get an answer. He pummels the door rapidly.
“I! Know! You’re! There! GRANT ME MY WISH!!!! I CAME UP WITH A NEW ONE! I want a washing machine! A really cool washing machine! And maybe a dryer! Come on! COME ON COME ON COME ON!”
“Um, Yugi-kun...”
He’s interrupted not by Hanako, but by a girl who looks quite annoyed.
“Not that I don’t...get whatever you’re doing...but this is the girl’s bathroom, you know. And Michiru-chan’s been waiting for you to leave.” She in fact looks ready to kill him. “Get out.”
Despite that, she doesn’t sound as angry as Hanako.
“I’ll wait, then!” he exclaimed. “I want Hanako-san to answer me!”
She sighed haggardly and irritably. Nothing like Sakura at all. Her friend, Michiru, is ducked behind her for safety. Tsukasa pays neither of them further mind, just skipping past and standing outside. He doesn’t bother noticing the looks of disdain he gets when the girls leave, instead striding right back inside to start knocking anew.
“Hanako-san, Hanako-san, Hanako-san, HANAKO-SAN!!!”
--
“Yugi, are you trying to get expelled?”
“Am I gonna get expelled?” he asks innocently. “All I was doing was trying to get Hanako-san to answer.”
Sensei sighed like how everyone else sighed at him. Sighing, sighing, sighing. So many trees must blossom and flourish with so much sighing. They should’ve overtaken the school by now with roots crushing the bricks and branches growing through the windows.
“Hanako-san’s at fault!” he claimed. “Hanako-san knows I’m there but won’t answer! Won’t even grant my wish! Isn’t that Hanako-san’s job?”
“Hanako-san...isn’t real.” Sensei spoke through sharp, gritted teeth. Have they always been sharp? Has Sensei always looked so beastly? Sometimes... Tsukasa wonders if Sensei is actually human. “Stop going into the girl’s bathroom, Yugi. I will not ask again.”
Adults like to give ultimatums and last chances all the time. Tsukasa has no problem calling their bluff because what’s the worst they can do? Hurt him? Kill him?
“If Hanako-san agrees to grant my wish, then fine.” He gave a firm nod. “I’ve already made tons though and Hanako-san doesn’t bite. I’ve asked for pictures, washing machines, candy, donuts, a katanuki stall, ice cream, and a vaulting pole! I’m not sure what else to ask for, maybe a book?”
“Stop this nonsense, Yugi,” Sensai snapped. “It’s gotten out of hand.”
“If a girl wants to use the bathroom, I let her! And I don’t get the big deal—there are stalls anyway and I don’t try to peek!” Tsukasa shot back. “Are you going to tell me it’s harassment? Is Hanako-san going to charge me with harassment?! Hanako-san’s the one not holding up the end of the bargain! You make a wish to Hanako-san and Hanako-san grants it! Why won’t Hanako-san grant my wish?!”
“Because—!” Sensei stopped, coughing into his hand. “Because Hanako-san isn’t real.”
“I saw Hanako-san! Hanako-san spoke to me! Hanako-san is moody and weird and wears a boy’s uniform! I know what I saw, you’re not going to tell me I didn’t see anything when I saw Hanako-san! And Hanako-san was the one who said that my wish was rejected! But, why?! Did I do something wrong? It can’t be because I’m a bad person—even bad people get their wishes granted all the time!”
“Y-Yugi...” Sensei tries, but Tsukasa just screams.
“WHY DOES HANAKO-SAN HATE ME?!”
Sensei doesn’t answer. It occurs to Tsukasa then that this is such a weird thing to be bothered about. But the more the thought about it, the more upset it made him.
After a while, Sensei gathers himself, and just when Tsukasa thinks that he might be comforted, Sensei puts on a stern face.
“Get your things and leave. Consider yourself suspended for a week, Yugi.”
“What?” He’s a lot quieter than usual. The words leave him feeling like his head got stuffed with cotton. “You can’t do that. You’re just a homeroom teacher.”
“And you think it’d be that hard to convince the higher ups?” Sensei asked wryly. It’s less cruel and more matter-of-fact. “You’ve made yourself a nuisance for long enough that they’ll take any reason to be rid of you. You’re lucky this is temporary.”
Tsukasa opened his mouth and shut it. He opened it again. He smiled, showing his teeth.
“But, what am I going to tell my parents?” he asked, his tone of voice sweet.
Sensei stared him down coldly.
“Nothing. You’re not going to tell them anything. Get out before it becomes two weeks, Yugi.”
Still smiling, Tsukasa does just that.
--
He’s not so badly behaved that he doesn’t stay at least one day at home. He spends most of it alone, drawing on whatever paper he can find even if it’s mail. He doesn’t get scolded. He’s not spoken to at all. Even when the class rep brings him things, they don’t speak to him. He’s pretty sure they don’t like him for that time with the birds and mice. He’s banned from the gardens for that reason, too.
Well, not banned per say, but he gets chased out whenever seen. One of the girls there looks like a fish whenever she gets angry. It’s cute. That’s the kind of girl he’d like but he still likes Sakura best. Sakura, after all, is his friend. That makes her more important than everyone else he interacts with.
He wonders if her dog’s celebrating his break. His entire class probably is. Maybe the entire school is. Maybe they’re all throwing a big huge part with cake and juice and everything, including streamers. Streams of all colors, none for him. They’re all laughing with relief while he’s at home.
In the meantime, Tsukasa draws tunnels. Tunnels upon tunnels that wind around his house like the pipes underground. He’s almost done by the end of the second day. His wrist is killing him too much on the third.
On the fourth night, he breaks into the school.
--
“And on Thursday, he’s going to break into the school,” Tsuchigomori drones. “I’m gonna catch him and have him expelled. And you won’t have to worry about him ever again.”
Hanako hummed, doing a good job of focusing on his game with the mokke.
“I knew he was going to get expelled, so I thought you wouldn’t ever hear about him,” Tsuchigomori goes to admit, having the decency to look somewhat ashamed as he rubs at his scalp and spins around his pipe. “I was surprised that he tried to summon you, Honorable Seventh.”
Hanako doesn’t say anything to that, but he does look more disappointed than usual when the mokke beat him in cards.
“You’re the one who actually asked, y’know. So, there it is. Pretty mundane and uninteresting. As if it’d be any other way.”
“...sensei.”
Tsuchigomori immediately stiffened. Hanako’s voice was just as sickly sweet as his—as the other Yugi’s.
“What’s going to happen to him after he gets expelled?”
“I’ve told you as much as I’m allowed,” was his answer. “Anything more and my existence will fizzle. You knowing this much was destined, so it’s fine. But you don’t need to know the rest.”
Hanako grinned at him.
“I see. That’s fine, then.”
“It’s fine?” The tone used was very not-fine. It wasn’t a fine tone at all.
“It’s fine. You’re dismissed.”
--
Climbing over the gate was easy. Picking the lock to the old school building was simple. All that remained was a hop, skip, and a jump up three flights of stairs until he ended up in front of the girl’s bathroom. He shuffled from one foot to the other before stepping inside. He hadn’t encountered a living soul since he broke in, having gotten pretty lucky. It’s not going to mean anything, like that time he won a crane game and his toy got torn to pieces.
He knocks on the third stall door three times.
“Good evening, Hanako-san,” he begins in his best cordial tone taught by Sakura. It probably sounds super lifeless, more lifeless than a fly on its back. “Radio silence this time, too? That’s fine! I brought a radio!”
He sets it and turns it on. It plays nothing but static no matter what channel he flicks it to.
“I found it in a trash heap,” he explains. “Isn’t it cool? I managed to get it to work, too! It’s so ancient, like, like, like from...a century ago! It’s super dirty and smells really funny! Isn’t it the coolest?!”
He presents it with flourish.
“And I’ll give it to you if you just grant my wish!”
He holds it up for a bit. Once three minutes of silence have passed, he throws it to the ground and stomps it to bits.
“Too noisy,” he said, and he sits down so that he can rip apart what remained with his hands. All these wires and jagged metal edges crumble so easily between his twisting fingers. “It’s so damn noisy.”
The bathroom stall is vacant even when he kicks the door open. Tsukasa just sighed, like everyone else.
“I’m so bored,” he laments. “Every day passes by, less interesting than the last. It’s only the superstitions that are different. Y’know? Like how fairies steal your things. How your time can get stolen. How mirrors can show your worst fear and trap you in hell! I like that one a lot! I’ve always wanted to know what it’d show me! I want to know!”
He pauses, sucking in his breath.
“There’s one about the grim reaper taking girls to be his wives. What do you think being married to the grim reaper is like? I bet it’s awful. I bet he’s weird and nasty and girls don’t like looking at him. That’s why he takes so many. Because none of them like him. Nobody likes him. Nobody likes death. Even the people who claim otherwise are big fat liars who are unliked by everyone, too. Because nobody likes liars, even though they lie to themselves all the time.”
He yanks out more wires.
“This world is nothing, which is why I don’t really mind giving up anything. Maybe...that’s why you don’t like me, Hanako-san. It’s fine. I would never wish for people to like me. That’s weird, creepy, and nasty. And super, super pathetic. Only losers would wish for someone else to like them. Why don’t they just change their looks and awful personality if they’re that desperate? I don’t get it. That’d be better than making a wish to some weird, crossdressing toilet ghost.”
His radio is now completely torn to pieces. It’s not even recognizable anymore. It’s worse than junk, and it had been junk when he first found it. He does look back into the empty stall, and he sighs again.
“I wish you’d just talk to me.”
And a flashlight shines on him from the door. He’s not even surprised that it’s Sensei. Sensei, who looks so tired and aggravated.
“Trespassing is illegal, Yugi.”
“Yep,” is his easy answer. “So is vandalism. I broke every potted plant I could find and painted all over the art club’s walls. Am I gonna get expelled now?”
“You aren’t giving anyone a choice now,” Sensei pointed out. “Come with me.”
Smiling, Tsukasa stood.
“Sure thing!”
He skips up to Sensei, beaming at him. Sensei only looks down with even more contempt, but just as Sensei’s long, spidery fingers wrap around his arm...
“Wait.”
It’s Hanako’s voice, but it’s Sensei who waits. Blinking owlishly, Tsukasa sees—that the other is afraid. Afraid and in disbelief.
“C...Come on,” Sensei stutters. “I’m gonna...”
“You’re going to leave,” Hanako says. “But he’s going to stay.”
“H...!”
Tsukasa looks behind him, but no one’s there. Sensei sucks in his breath and then releases his arm with a groan.
“One more chance,” he murmured. “I’ll give you the chance to clean up this mess and get the hell out, Yugi.”
“But what about everything else?” he asked, eyes wide.
“What else?!” Sensei seethed. “You lied about the pots and the walls! The only thing you actually broke was a damn lock that needed to be replaced years ago!” He shoved Tsukasa back. “Clean and then leave. I better not see you until two weeks from now. Have a night nice, Yugi.”
Just like that, he leaves. Just like that, Tsukasa’s left standing there in a state of utmost confusion. He only flinches because a new hand presses lightly against his back, and it’s cold enough to send him into shock. When he turns, it’s to face Hanako floating close by, almost completely obscured by shadow.
“You’re too much trouble for your own good,” Hanako mourns. “Do you care about yourself at all?”
“No, I don’t.” He can’t help but laugh. “I’ve never cared! Not once!”
He can’t see, but the air around them is as cold as it is strangely bitter. Like someone upset enough to will spring into winter. He’s heard about deities who could do that. He doubts Hanako is a deity. Hanako-san is just...weird.
“Do you care, Hanako-san? I can’t believe you even ordered Sensei around like that. Since when was Sensei your subordinate?” He’s vibrating with excitement and a sparkling gaze. “I always thought Sensei didn’t seem very human! Even his name is super suspicious! What other supernatural beings are among us? Do you know if there are aliens, too?!”
“There are no aliens,” Hanako said flatly. “Not that I’m aware of.”
“There’s things even Hanako-san doesn’t know?! Or are you hiding something?! Tell me, tell me, tell me!” He exclaimed it until he went breathless, and after a while, he realized. “Oh, right... I wished for you to talk to me and you’ve already...done that. Am I going to get spirited away now? Is that why you kept me from getting expelled?”
He’d miss Sakura, at least, but it’s fine.
“Whatever you take is fine,” he said. “I don’t mind.”
“I’m not taking anything.” Hanako flicked his forehead. “There’s nothing from you that I could possibly want. If I had to make any demands, it was that you stop calling me a crossdresser. I wear this because I’m actually a guy.”
“A guy...haunting the girl’s bathroom? You’re not a weirdo, you’re a pervert. Okay.” He didn’t really care. “What do you mean you don’t want anything?”
“What I mean is...” Hanako is suddenly close enough to make his head spin. The contours of Hanako’s face was fuzzy, but his eyes—his eyes were uncomfortably, almost achingly bright. “Yugi Tsukasa, there’s nothing you could ever have that I could ever want. I was not fulfilling your wish when I chose to speak to you. It was merely a whim. It meant nothing to me.”
“Nothing, huh...” The brightness of that gaze threatened to burn him alive, like ants under a microscope. He wondered—how many insects did he squash without a care? How many did he just stare down at with dullness and contempt? If those mindless drones had any feelings whatsoever, they might understand how he feels right now. But why would they? They’re ants. “Okay. I’m just gonna get expelled another way. Everyone else already likes it best when I’m not around, after all. Even Sakura.”
He pulls away so that he can start picking up the pieces of his radio and tossing them. He hums, plucking them one at a time. There was a lot of pieces, but he took his time. It didn’t matter how long it took, because no one was going to use the bathroom at this hour. Or on this day.
Sometimes the moonlight filtered through the window and caught onto the gleaming pieces of metal. He paused to admire them, stopping when he realized the sight was such a pale comparison to that of the true night sky.
“Hanako-san,” he says. “What do you think of the stars? Aren’t they pretty? I read up on constellations and stuff, too. Did you know if you went to space without a suit that aaaaaall the air would be sucked out like a vacuum? It’d be like—boom! Rapture!”
“Rupture,” Hanako corrected softly, sounding a lot like Sakura.
“Space is mostly empty, but it takes light soooo long to travel across that we never see the stars as they currently are. We only see them like, many, many, many, many years ago,” he explained. “In all that time, the star might not even be there anymore. Oh, but we’d see right away if the moon ever blew up! And then, we’d all die because it’d rain so much flaming debris and cause so many shockwaves! I wonder what that actually looks like. Raining fire would be...”
He was so caught up in his rambling that he ended up slicing his finger on one of the jagged pieces. He stops himself at the sting. He doesn’t cry, however, just staring at the injury, squinting at it before he lapped at it. Without thinking, he wipes it down on the front of his uniform, no doubt staining it with red.
He hears the intake of breath, but maybe it’s just the wind. Wasn’t the window a tiny bit open...? He does feel a cold breeze for a moment—and a deathly chill the next.
“Wah! C-Cold...!”
He tried to get up to close the window, but he’s pulled back before he can. The sudden bout of resistance in the very air was strange, it was almost as if he was being—
“Hanako-san...?”
Oh. Hanako was embracing him. Hanako was embracing him from behind, holding him so tightly that he couldn’t move.
“Waaah, cold!” he whines. “I bet it’s colder than spaaace!”
He does squirm a bit. Hanako’s like a block of ice, so it’s hard to generate any amount of warmth. Maybe this is what being spirited away is like?
But Hanako-san just said...
Hanako sighs into his ear.
“Oh, Tsukasa. You’re still the same.”
Tsukasa blinks as he’s then squeezed. Hanako just holds him. He holds him and holds him even to the point where Tsukasa’s breath turns into visible puffs of white. He shivers, and Hanako just continues to hold him. There’s no heartbeat against his back, and more shudders go down his spine.
“I’m sorry, Tsukasa,” Hanako says, and the apology doesn’t feel like it’s for him. Not at all. “I just...”
“Who...” Tsukasa can only manage one response. “W-Who are you talking to...?”
Everything pulses. It’s so freezing that his body is spasming, and he can only recognize distantly that he’s started crying.
“Ah.” Hanako, too, sounds so far away despite still being so close. “It’ll be alright, Tsukasa. It’s not like you’re going to remember this.”
Through blurring shapes and tears, he can somehow tell that Hanako’s fingers are nearing his face.
“No...!” Try as he might, he can’t escape. “No, no, no, no—! Don’t—!”
A name claws its way up his throat, scrambles up his tongue, but before he can even choke on the first syllable...
Hanako trails his fingertips down from his hairline to his forehead. It’s almost affectionate. He barely has time to register the sad smile on Hanako’s face—that face which looked...so familiar...as familiar as his own...
Who are you?
Everything falls into black.
--
Tsuchigomori doesn’t say anything, just keeping his head ducked subserviently. Tsukasa sleeps without a care, but it won’t be that way for long, so they have to hurry.
“Can you have him brought back to wherever he lives?” he asked, getting straight to the point. “You can, right? You wouldn’t let me down.”
“I’d have to ask Nagisa,” Tsuchigomori sighed, rubbing his head irritably with three different hands. “He’s sympathetic to the kid, maybe overly so.”
“That’s nice,” Hanako says cheekily. “I envy him, then, for having such nice teachers.”
Tsuchigomori won’t meet that probing stare, and he avoids the kid too, for that matter. What happens between that kid and Honorable Seventh isn’t his business, even if that kid’s his student. He’d been resigned to that since the day that they met and he nearly went into shock at the sight of curious amber eyes blinking up at him.
That kid had the same grin as back then, nothing like how Honorable Seventh used to be.
“I almost pulled a knife on him again,” Hanako laughs like it’s a funny joke. “How do you think he would’ve reacted?”
The way Hakujoudai vibrate give away how truly aggravated and agitated the seventh wonder was. So, Tsuchigomori elects to remain silent. He pretends not to notice the look Hanako gives to the kid now curling up as he slept.
“...take good care of him, sensei.”
It’s a soft request, spoken with emotion and meaning burrowed deep into the bones. Hanako tugs off his hat, mournfully regarding his once brother. It’s meant to be a gesture of finality, but Tsuchigomori knows without reading ahead that it was only that. A hollow gesture.
This was someone who changed the future once before, after all.
#Magi fics#bad things happen bingo#jibaku shounen hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#bad things bingo
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"Hey. I forgot my hat. You're still fuckboy supreme and I kinda hope you get eaten by ants, but I need that hat."
"I...honestly have no idea what that means, but please. Come in."
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Survey #357
“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall / we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”
Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot.
What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld
What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines.
If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too!
Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily.
Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know.
What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal.
As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts.
Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me.
Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats!
Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place.
Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out.
How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years.
First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night.
Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing.
Were you anyone’s first kiss? No.
If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name?
Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know.
Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't.
What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot.
Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no.
Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No.
Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha.
What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects.
What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me.
Are you biracial? No.
When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad.
What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black.
Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous.
Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property.
Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No.
Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it.
What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum.
When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them...
What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know.
How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men.
Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No.
Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know.
Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye.
Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so.
What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question.
Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No.
Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both.
What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol.
Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30.
What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one.
If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all.
When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug*
Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers."
Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28.
Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so.
Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it.
Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now.
Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No.
Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors.
Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books.
When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing.
Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow.
Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO.
Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once.
Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless.
Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid.
What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate.
Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day.
By the way, what is your name? Brittany.
What time zone do you live in? EST.
Do you like cats? I love cats.
What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons.
What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno.
What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle.
If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart.
Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No.
Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk.
Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with.
Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No.
Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially.
Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro.
If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something.
What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.
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reese-with-her-spoon [ksj x reader]
👾 warnings: really shitty writing, honestly not my best work. :-((
👾 word count: 4.5k
👾 genre: fluff!!! crack!!! all the good shit!!!
👾 A/N: kicking the week off with some fLUFF to prepare you for the ~spook~ that is arriving soon. hope you enjoy this! why do i feel like i have to mention joon’s bonsais in every fic
main masterlist. spooktober masterlist.
👾 synopsis: in hindsight, attempting to get back at the biggest prankster you know during halloween was probably not your most stellar idea.
“Kim Seokjin!” You screech furiously, pacing outside his ridiculously large cottage-style home. Passerbys worriedly look your way, but you cannot bring yourself to be embarrassed. The house stands still. Nobody seems to be moving, much less rushing to get the door, despite the fact that you’ve pressed the doorbell countless times already.
“KIM SEOKJIN!” You yell again, glaring at the house as if your steely gaze will force him to come out. “What the hell could you be doing?” You mutter to yourself. “It’s not like you have a life or anything.” You reach out, stabbing the doorbell again.
“I can hEAR the goddamn bell ringing inside come get the dOOR JIN!” Someone on the inside is stomping down the doors and you hear a scuffling accompanied with whispers. Smirking satisfyingly, you bang the door. “Good, now come out, you coward!”
The door opens… to someone that is not Seokjin. Kim Seokjoong stands on the other side, quizzically raising an eyebrow at you.
“Y/N, hey- wow. He did that?” Kim Seokjoong is Seokijn’s older brother, a self taught coder who basically spends every waking moment of his day on his computer. Come to think of it, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him out of the house.
His eyes are fixed above your eyes, and he smiles, quietly giggling to himself. You pull your hands back, reminding yourself that you need to save your temper for the real culprit.
“Would you just-” You point inside, not meeting his eyes. “- let me in?” Seokjoong nods, stifling a laugh. You glare at him, and he promptly shuts his mouth. “Aren’t you supposed to be in university now, you unemployed leech?” Seokjoong flinches and mumbles something about how you’re supposed to respect your elders.
“Here, come in.” He says, sighing. “Just don’t murder him in the house, okay? Mom’ll get mad.” Seokjoong stands aside and lets you in, looking around outside and shutting the door, putting a finger to his lips. “He’s been upstairs cackling his ass off since you started screaming and pounding the door twenty minutes ago.” You look up at the ceiling, only to wince at the screaming picture of a witch stuck on the ceiling.
The Kim household during Halloween season is quite- festive. Pumpkins, witch hats, ghost cutouts and much more are scattered and adorned all around the house. You just know this is Jin’s doing… the doctor printout with cat ears on the wall that reads ‘I’m A Purr-amedic!’ gives it all away. You squirm when you have to pull away fake cobwebs out of your face to go up the stairs.
“So, how are you going to do it this time? Sneak attack, retaliate? Do me a favour and don’t douse him with a bucket of syrup like you did last time. He was sticky for weeks, and we had an ant infestation.” Seokjoong pants and follows you up the stairs, questioning you. You stalk up the stairs, gripping the handrail tightly.
“- Okay you’re starting to look scary now. Please don’t kill him.” He says, and you don’t bother giving him a response.
“Which one is he in?” You eventually say, looking around the closed doors in the hallway. Seokjoong turns to look at you, furrowing his eyebrows.
“You’ve been up here thousands of times, Y/N.” You flick his forehead and he lets out a cry of pain.
“No, that’s not what I mean. Which room is he hiding in?” You ask. He hesitates and you, exasperatedly, point to the top of your head. Guiltily, he points to the furthest door to the right, looking up at the ceiling and fiddling at the hem of his shirt. Muttering a rather curt ‘thanks’, you stomp over to the purple and orange decorated door that is labelled “SPOOKY SUPPLIES.” You pause to sigh at Jin’s stupidity, then you fling the door open with a bang.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH-” As expected, Seokjin is inside, wearing his worn out black hoodie and sitting on a pile of Halloween decorations. You put your hands on your hips and glare at him, but his screaming slowly turns to laughter, which just makes you even more mad.
“- Oh my god hAHHAHAHAH! You look hilarious!” He yells, slapping his thigh and laughing in his obnoxious, window wiper-like voice. “It turned out better than I thought it would!” He marvels through his laughter. Your glare turns meaner, and you stare straight into his eyes, shutting him up.
“Kim. Seokjin.”
“... Yes, my love?” He smiles innocently, batting his eyelashes. You resist the urge to slap him.
“Care to explain to me why the hell my hair is bright red?” Jin, not able to hold it in, bursts out laughing again, burying his face in his hoodie, attempting to muffle his laughter. It doesn’t work very well, and he comes back up for oxygen, taking a large breath.
“In my defence,” Good luck with that, you think. Nothing would be able to help his case and keep you from murdering him. “- I didn’t really think it would work this well!” He takes one more peek at your hair and chokes back another laugh. “Oh my god, you kinda look like a pumpkin!”
This time, instead of holding back your violent tendencies, you grab a foam pumpkin from the ground of the supply closet and hit him on the head. Unfazed, he just looks back up, still infuriatingly giggling.
“Don’t worry,” He says. “It’s not permanent.” You huff, secretly relieved. “... Well, it should be temporary. I think. Probably.” You lift the pumpkin foam decoration and hit him again. “Hey! Why are you hitting me? You look good in red! Now you can be Ronald Mcdonald for Halloween!” You raise the pumpkin (Who you have begun to affectionately call ‘Jin Hit Pumpkin’ in your head) to hit him again, but he squeaks and covers his face, so you put it down.
“I swear to god, Jin,” You scold. “If this doesn’t wash out of my hair, I will sue.” Jin looks sheepishly up at you before ducking his head down and walking out of the storage closet. He glares at Seokjoong the second he steps out, who is apologetically smiling at him.
“Traitor.” Jin mutters, stabbing a finger in his older brother’s chest.
“I’m sorry!” Seokjoon defends. “She’s real fucking scary with the red hair!” You turn over to glare at them, and the two brothers recoil, murmuring apologies. You point at Seokjin, locking your eyes with his while walking backwards down the stairs, at the exact same time.
“You. Watch your fucking back, Jin. I’ll get back at you for this.” You slowly disappear from the brothers’ eyeline, and they hear a door slamming shortly after. Seokjoong sighs and places a hand around Jin’s shoulder.
“You have weird taste in women, bro.” Jin pushes his hand off his shoulder, rolling his eyes and retreating to his room, grumbling something that Seokjoong didn’t manage to hear.
👾.
Kim Seokjin is a force to be reckoned with, even you have to admit. For someone who claims to be an unoriginal copycat, his pranks are pretty creative. You would never ever tell him this, of course, but you keep a list of the pranks he’s played on you.
It’s not much of a list, actually. More like a three notebooks’ worth of practical jokes. And after all these years, he’s somehow never repeated one of his pranks. Only the stupid, small ones, but that’s inevitable. You can’t count how many times you’ve sat on a whoopee cushion.
But also, who the fuck still uses whoopee cushions? You’re almost convinced Seokjin has a lifetime supply that he’s just trying to use up with the amount of cushions he has to go through every single year. You tap your pen against an empty page of a notebook, frustratingly chewing on your lip. This prank is a new one. Jin’s never done anything to your hair before, so should you do something to his precious hair?
Come to think of it, how on earth did he even manage to sneak into your house and replace your shampoo? Maybe you can charge him for breaking and entering. You tap at your computer and groan when Google says that a minor will mostly likely get a fine for breaking and entering. The most they can get to one year of detention punishment.
A year is hardly enough of time away from Seokjin and his stupid pranks. How much time have you wasted stressing over his jokes? You wonder. Last year, you didn’t sleep well for a good two months when he managed to stuff a walkie talkie underneath your bed.
He made creaky chicken noises while you were sleeping for two whole months before you managed to find out why the hell chicken sounds were coming from your bedroom every night. Begrudgingly, you have to admit that that one was pretty smart. But you aren’t too mad about that incident. He lost just as much sleep as you did by making those goddamn chicken noises. At the time, you asked him why he didn’t just loop a recording or something similar, but he just grinned and quipped that he didn’t think of that.
You got back at him a week later by posting a particularly ugly selfie from his middle school days on instagram. It had nearly 8,000 likes before he found you and forced you to take it down. You also got a week of detensions when he tattled on you for sharing photos without the owner’s consent, (Which is the most bullshit thing you’ve ever heard,) but it was pretty worth it.
Sighing, you run your fingers through your hair, scoffing and whining when you realise again that your hair is now fucking red-! Faded red, but it still looks horrible. Maybe you should dye his hair red, just to match. Seokjoong would probably let you in if you bribed him enough- with cookies, obviously. But he’d probably look good in red hair, that insufferable, good-looking idiot. What could you do… What could you do? You drop your pen onto the notebook, and a huge grin slowly spreads on your face. You might just have an idea.
Halloween night. A time for budding teenagers to make bad decisions. Or alternatively, a time for Seokjin to go absolutely insane. You don’t know how he does it, but his parents go away every single year for the week of Halloween. He throws the craziest costume party every year, and always tries to come up with the craziest costume.
Last year he was a ‘waist of time’. Completely shirtless, he wore a belt with a watch looped around it. Not his best idea, since he had to go around the whole night explaining to people what he was dressed as. The year before he was a ‘hipster vampire’. Completely shirtless, he wore fangs with fake blood with circle sunglasses with a jet black cape wrapped around his neck, with the words ‘SAVE THE BEES’ embroidered on the back in yellow and white.
Yeah, there’s a little bit of a pattern.
“Soo, what are you doing for Halloween this year?” You sweetly ask Jin, who is walking through the hallway after slamming his locker shut. One of his hands holds the strap of his backpack, and the other hand knocks at your head. Pulling back, you stare at him weirdly.
“What are you doing.” You ask. He doesn’t respond. Seokjin leans in, curiously looking at your face. You blush, pushing him away, but he continues to look at you, tilting his head and humming to himself. “What are you doing?” You say, moving further away from him.
“You haven’t gotten rid of your red hair yet?” He says, reaching out and stroking the red hair. You slap his hand away and he retracts it, still smirking gleefully. You had spent the entire weekend before attempting to watch the red out of your hair. The result was a faded berry-black dye that’s been stained in your hair. You scowl, turning away and smacking him in the face with your hair just for good measure.
“How could I get rid of it? It won’t fucking wash off, dumbass! This is all your fault!” Jin hums thoughtfully to himself, scratching the underside of his chin. He looks like a premature grandfather recalling his days in wartime.
“Damn,” He swears under his breath. “I guess my prank backfired.”
“Backfired?” You stop in the middle of the hallway to face him, and he slowly turns around to do the same, quizzically raising an eyebrow at you. “Don’t you mean your prank was a success? I thought you’d be ecstatic to know that my hair now looks like a rotten strawberry.”
Jin shakes his head with a slight smile. “No, it backfired.”
“You look really good with red hair. This prank probably affects me more than it does you.” He says nonchalantly, turning away and walking down the hallway. Your eyes follow him, watching as Taehyung, Jin’s friend and the school’s resident art hipster launches himself on him and koala hugs him, cackling when Jin screams and starts yelling at him.
“What… What? What did he just say?” You say to yourself, blinking blankly.
Maybe your plan backfired too. You approached Jin with the intent of sabotaging his Halloween night, but what you walk away with is neither an evil plan or a satisfied smirk on your face. You spin around in a daze, heading to your calculus class with a bright red blush lining your cheeks and the beginning of a daydream starting to form in your head.
You practically collapsed in your seat, not listening to the teacher, who is currently scolding you for being late. You nod, blurting out an apology, even though you didn’t hear 90% of her rant about the significance of education and time.
“Psst!” Namjoon, the only friend both you and Jin share hisses at you, jabbing the head of his pencil into your side. You hiss back, smacking his pencil back. “Why is your hair red?” You glare his way.
“Don’t ask.” You grumble.
“... Okay then. Why are you late?” He asks. “I was going to wait for you after homeroom, but you didn’t didn’t come to your locker so I left without you.”
Disregarding his question, you lean over, propping your head onto your hands. “Are you going to come to Jin’s Halloween bash on Saturday?” Namjoon snorts, turning back to the teacher to make some quick notes in his notebook.
“Of course. Do you know how much shit I’d get if I didn’t show up? He gets so pouty and pissed about his Halloween obsession. And now I have to come up with a relatively creative and funny costume to satisfy his requirements for the stupid costume party he hosts!” He complains and whines at you. You laugh, and can’t help but agree. You’ve been forced to attend every single Halloween bash too. “You know what I came as last year, right?” He asks. “I came as a bonsai tree, and he got so mad! Said that I put “no effort” into my artistic choices. I spent like two hours glueing those leaves onto my shirt!” Namjoon huffs, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“What do you think I should go as?” Namjoon shrugs. “You can wear whatever you want, it’s not like he’ll care about what you’re wearing. As long as you show up, he’s happy.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, frowning. Namjoon immediately shakes his head at you, smiling slightly strangely.
“Nothing!”
You stare at him suspiciously, but you don’t comment further. Namjoon’s just weird like that sometimes. “Hm. Can I bounce some Halloween ideas off of you then?” He nods, shrugging to say he doesn’t mind. You lean in and whisper something into his ear with a mischievous glint in your eye. Namjoon bursts out laughing in the middle of the empty classroom when he hears what you have to say.
👾.
Another thing to add to your neverending list of things Kim Seokjin can do; Throw a party. For Halloween night, the household gets even more festive, if that’s even possible. Every inch and every corner of the front yard, interior and outerior is plastered with some kind of Halloween themed merchandise.
There’s even a large hand drawn sign outside that says ‘NO TRICK OR TREATERS PLEASE.’ Not that any sane child would ever come within a mile of this place. You could hear the blasting music from three blocks away. You wonder how long it’ll take for somebody to call the cops this year. But then again, it’s probably more likely that the police would join the party instead of arresting the partiers. God knows the police have better things to tackle on Halloween night anyways. It’s the major season for crime and stupid desicions, of course.
In your humble opinion, Halloween is the most useless holiday out of them all, with Valentine's day coming in at a close second. What’s the point of celebrating a large westernised holiday? The main purpose of Halloween is literally so children can get free candy and for college kids to get wasted and pass out on the lawn with a slutty cat outfit on.
You don’t see the point, but if you even voiced your thoughts aloud within a five mile radius of Jin, you’d get murdered. That man lives, breathes, and eats Halloween all year long. He complains about it not being October yet constantly, puts ghost stickers everywhere when September begins (For his “pre-celebration”), He’ll even buy anything that has the words ‘pumpkin spice’ on it. You’re slightly worried sometimes that it’s an actual addiction.
Hallow-diction? You’ll work on the term.
You already regret your choice of wearing heel when you trudge through the grass of Jin’s front yard, covering your eyes from the couple who is basically having clothed sex against the wall outside Jin’s home. Who knows how many blisters you’ll wake up with tomorrow morning? At least your legs look amazing.
The sky is dark and dreary, a rather fitting night for Halloween to be on, but inside the house, it’s loud and you can already hear people getting drunk and dancing. Taking in a deep breath, you push open the door.
You don’t know what you were expecting, but if anything, the inside is worse than the outside. You’d rather go back to the couple having clothed sex. People dressed in outrageous costumes are dancing on the floor to some rapper you can’t recognise. You can already spot five sexy cats, at least 5 witches, and too many angels for you to count. Maybe this is a bad idea, you think. It’s not too late to go back home, you reason with yourself in your head. The sweaty bunch of people drunk dancing and screaming is already sounding off all the SOCIAL ANXIETY QUICK RUN sirens in your brain.
But before you can turn around and give into your instincts, a hand clamps onto your shoulder and pulls you into the house, leaving you longingly staring at the front door, the only chance of your freedom taken away. Namjoon spins you around to face you and nods appreciatively. He’s dressed as a ‘french toast’, a striped shirt, mustache and barrett accompanied with a slice of bread costume slung over his shoulders.
“Hey, you look good!” You giggle at the praise. The only good thing about tonight is how great your outfit looks. “Aw, man!” Namjoon whines. “Maybe I should have gone as an angel! Then we would have matched!” You laugh, the sound drowned out from the blasting music.
“Angel and devil? That’s hilarious!” But you spin around anyway, showing off your bright red bodycon dress with lace cutouts. A pair of embellished devil horns sit on your head and you personally attached a spiked tail to your dress just this morning. All topped off with a cropped leather jacket that you already have the urge to take off.
“Yeah, you look super fucking sexy, wait until Jin sees this!”
“Hm? I can’t hear, it’s the music-!”
“Nothing!”
You spin around, looking left and right throughout the house. You can’t seem to find Jin anywhere, but that’s alright. He’ll find you soon enough. You still wonder what sort of shirtless, punny, dad joke style costume variation he’s managed to come up with this year though.
“What happened to your sabotage plan? I was surprised when the whole house didn’t explode in stick bombs… or something worse.” Namjoon shudders in his toast outfit.
“Eh.” You shrug, shifting uncomfortably. “I just thought I should enjoy Halloween, you know? Try not to make Jin miserable for once.”
“Well, looks like you ended up pranking him anyways,“ Namjoon gestures down your figure. “Whether you meant to or not.“
You have no clue what Namjoon is talking about, but you were originally planning to come armed with all the sabotage tools: toilet paper, stink bombs, elephant toothpaste… the works. But you ditched the idea after a bit of thought. What’s the use of getting back at Jin on Halloween anyway? He’ll just get back at you, twice as hard. Your hair is already red- you couldn’t risk anything else.
An off-putting, familiar voice speaks from behind you. Looking up, Namjoon is already gone, which means-
“Speak of the devil.” You mutter. “Oh, hey!” You chuckle at the accidental joke. “Speak of the devil, because tonight I’m the literal devil, haHahhahHAH I’m so funny-!”
“y/N, you’re here!” Sure enough, Jin stands behind you, completely- shockingly, in a turn of completely unpredicted events- shirtless. His abs should be outlawed, you think. They shouldn’t be allowed to be just hanging out. He should at least come with a warning sign. ‘WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHEST AND STOMACH MAY CAUSE SHORTNESS OF BREATH AND DEATH DUE TO THIRST.’
At first sight, he just looks like an average frat boy, with loose sweatpants dangerously hanging down at his hips. But after squinting, you notice he’s holding… a spoon? And a packet of reese’s cups?
You slowly turn around, and Jin’s eyes widen comically, his jaw physically dropping. He drops his metal spoon on the ground, but doesn’t seem to notice.
“I- Y/N! I-? Wha- ? I- wah- wow. Wha?” If there was a human expression equivalent to ‘??!!!?’, Jin’s face would provide the perfect definition for it. He chokes, and coughs back, leaning over the counter and clutching at his chest.
“Woah- Are you okay?” Jin, holding a finger up, swallows down some phlegm and continues to ogle at your costume.
“Okay.” He says, after he finished coughing. “When I told you that your costume had to be creative, I didn’t mean- this.”
“What do you mean, do I look bad?”
“No, trust me, you don’t. But there are so many pervert guys out here tonight who would take advantage of you, so be careful. Stick to me.” You look up and down at him, from his abs which are completely on display, to the sweatpants that would definitely get him arrested for public indecency.
“Are you talking about yourself?” Jin leans down to pick up his spoon while you speak. “What are you supposed to be anyway? A frat boy from the 90s? An ex-con who just got out of jail? A college dropout?” Jin frowns.
“Why is nobody getting my costume tonight?” Holding up his Reese's pieces to his face, he smiles brightly and explains. “I’m Reese,” He lifts up the spoon. “- With her spoon!” You stare at him. He sighs and stomps his foot against the floor. “I’m Reese Witherspoon.” Your mouth opens in an ‘o’ in realisation, nodding. “Not my best idea, but still smart. I never fail to amaze myself year after year.” Clearing his throat, he spares another glance to your dress and tears his eyes away straight after, averting his eyes and bringing his hand up to the back of his neck.
“Uhh,” He says, awkwardly. “Devil. It fits you! You know, with the red hair.” You nod, thankful that he’s actually acknowledging the effort you put in your costume this year. Last year, you showed up as a powerpuff girl- Blossom. He got angry and ranted for hours without end about how Bubbles was clearly the superior powerpuff girl.
“I know, right!” You say cheerfully. “Your stupid prank actually gave me an idea, so I guess I should thank you.” Jin looks at you expectantly, and you shove him back. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to actually thank you, jerk. You still dyed my fucking hair red.”
“Fuck,” Jin curses. “I did this, didn’t I? Goddamnit, I told you this prank would end up affecting me more than you!”
“Huh?”
Jin continues to curse at himself, pinching the bridge of his nose and deeply regretting his life decisions. From behind him, Min Yoongi is calling him to join for a game of spook-pong (A game Jin invented; It’s like beer pong but with mystery drinks), but he ignores his name being called. He so quickly averts his eyes down at your chest again, blinking and drawing back like he saw a ghost.
“Anyways,” He says, pulling you around to place his hand over your shoulder, forcing you to press into his slightly sweaty chest. He walks you over to the spook-pong table. “Don’t wear this again, okay? You’re going to give me a heart attack.” He looks over at you when you begin to laugh. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious! I can’t look at you right now without- ugh. This was a bad night for me to choose to wear sweatpants.” He steps away from you and buries his hands inside his pants pockets, clearing his throat in a moment of strange seriousness. For a split second, you think he might have something important to say, but he just breaks out into a signature Jin grin, smiling toothily at you. His face is too cute to match his bare chest, you think to yourself.
“Have a nice Halloween, Y/N. Call if you need anything, okay? I’ll come find you after I smash this game of spook pong.” You nod and he goes off running towards Yoongi, who is already complaining about what took him so long. Jin laughs and snatches a ping pong ball from him, already screaming about how there’s no chance the inventor of the game could lose.
On the opposite end of the table, Jimin and Jungkook are making faces at him. You smile and break out into a laugh. Halloween night is rather fun, you suppose. You sigh. Maybe if you stop spending Halloween as a way to get back at Jin’s stupid pranks, it would bump Valentine’s day up as your most hated holiday. Namjoon appears by your side, shaking his head at you for no reason.
“You still don’t get it?” He asks, gesturing to Jin. You stare blankly at him, moving away when his toast costume accidentally smacks against your devil tail.
“Get what?” Namjoon continues to shake his head, smiling in a one-day-i’m-going-to-kill-you kind of way. Men are so confusing.
(At the end of the night, you draw dicks and other incriminating things onto Jin’s back with the help of a distracting Namjoon. It was his fault for being shirtless- and besides, you can’t let Halloween night go completely to waste.)
👾talk to prankster!jin! add yourself to the taglist!
TAGS; @extremeobsessions101 @bishuthot @stonyiscanon @jksbbyfacebunny
#bts#bts fanfiction#bts x reader#seokjin bts#bts fic recs#jin x reader#jin cute#bts fake tweets#jin fluff#jin angst#jin smut#bts imagines#spooktober#jin fanfiction#seokjin fic recs#seokjin smut#jin#kim seokjin#kim seokjin x reader#seokjin lq#bts edit#bts quote#bts gif#bts wallpaper#bts au#jin imagine
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“Don’t be mad but.....I stole a dragon’s egg.” Why do I picture Louise saying this to Persephone when she thought a baby dragon would be a great gift but all goes wrong afterwards? Lol just the thought of that makes it funny
I have three separate asks with this specific prompt, so I’m guessing ya’ll really like dragons, huh? XD (Each ask is with a different character too, so I’m doing all three too.) One lost ladies ship coming right up!
(Inspiration hit suddenly, so for anyone else waiting for their prompts, I shall get to them, I promise!)
x
It had been at least three days since Louise’s last bout of tomfoolery and, really, that should have been Persephone’s first clue that chaos was on the horizon.
She had grown complacent, she decided in hindsight, and honestly she should have known better. But they were celebrating their anniversary - well, one of their anniversaries; they had married several times in several different worlds - and Persephone had dared to believe they were simply due a romantic walk through an underground market. Browsing, exploring, maybe topping it off with the shadow-puppet show...
She was just admiring the many masks on display when her wife careened around a corner and grabbed her paw.
“Hello, love!” Louise called over the fast-approaching sounds of chaos. “My darling, my dear...” She hauled Persephone down a tunnel. “My beautiful and wonderfully understanding wife--”
“What have you done?”
“Done? Why would you assume I have done anything?”
“THIEF! CRIMINAL! RUFFIAN!”
Persephone raised an eyebrow at Louise, not the easiest of tasks when one is sprinting down a rapidly narrowing burrow. “Call it a wife’s intuition.”
“Fine! I may... Now, don’t be mad, but I may,” Louise shouted, “have stolen an dragon’s egg.” She motioned to the bag she had tucked under one arm.
“Is that all you’ve done?” Persephone bellowed back. She gestured loosely with her free hand to the hoards of guards hot on their tails. “Oh, thank goodness, and here I was thinking you’d gone and done something reckless!”
"Now, don’t be mad--”
“You should have warned me before pulling a stunt like this!”
“I’m warning you now!”
“You,” Persephone panted, “and I have very different definitions of the word ‘warned’.” They came to a partial cave-in, and she relinquished her wife’s hand as she scaled it with a single running jump. She landed on the other side just in time to see Louise clear it with a spinning flip.
Persephone gave her A Look. “Careful. Your von Gikkingen is showing.”
“Gotta keep in practice for when I show up my brother.” She wove her hand through Persephone’s paw and continued the helterskelter sprint. “Anyway,” she continued, annoyingly not out of breath yet, “you know we couldn’t just leave it there. They’re the ones selling a dragon’s egg! That should be illegal!”
“I know, but did you consider there were subtler ways to steal it than grabbing it straight off the shop floor?” Persephone demanded.
“I didn’t just grab it!” Louise retorted, mock-insulted laced into her words.
“Oh Bast, you did the light show, didn’t you?”
“It’s a perfect distraction! Harmless, distracting, snazzy-- OH!” Louise’s wide-brimmed hat flew off as they skidded around a corner, and Persephone caught it with a well-practiced snatch.
“I keep telling you that you should get elastic for this thing,” Persephone admonished.
“It would spoil the look though.”
“It’ll spoil the look even more if you lose it or it flies off into a river somewhere.”
They slowed as they came to an empty tunnel, dimly-lit with infrequently-used torches, and Persephone passed the hat back to Louise. It sounded like they had thrown off their pursuers by scaling the cave-in. “So, now we’re the caretakers of one dragon egg. Any ideas how we’re going to get it back to its kind?”
“We could always look after it,” Louise offered. She gently rolled the egg out of the bag and admired its shimmering sky-blue surface. “Just until we find its family again. I mean, how hard can looking after a dragonette be?”
Persephone, who had already gone through motherhood once, and that had been with a kitten and not a flying lizard with the ability to spit fire, snorted. “Louise, honey, we are not raising a dragon.”
“I mean, of course we aren’t; we need to get this little fella back to his folks, but having a dragon on our side would be pretty neat, wouldn’t it?”
“HALT! Come back and pay for that, thief!”
Out of nowhere, a short, chameleon-like creature appeared, no taller than the cats’ waists and sporting yellow streaking pattern across its face.
“This?” Persephone asked to Louise. “This is who you stole from?”
“It’s not my proudest moment, but--”
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” she demanded.
“He was selling a dragon’s egg!” Louise protested. “It’s not stealing if you take something that was already stolen!”
The shopkeeper bared its teeth. “If you don’t pay for it, then I’ll have to make you.”
Louise stepped forward, wielding her parasol between them. “Oh yeah? And who’s going to make me? Persephone, hold the egg.”
“I’ve got the egg. But, Louise--”
Louise threw back the kind of confidently charming smile that Persephone had fallen in love with - and also the kind of smile that usually preceded something reckless. “Don’t worry, love. I think I’ve got this covered.”
“Uh-huh,” Persephone said, all while really wishing that for once, just once, Louise would read up on the worlds before charging into them. She stood back and waited to intercede when she was needed. She watched as Louise swung her parasol in a loose arc designed to firmly knock the shopkeeper off-balance and then miss as the creature vanished.
“It looks like a chameleon, but its skin is actually more akin to cuttlefish,” Persephone called. “It can change colour to blend in with its background.”
“And you’re -- ow -- you’re only telling me this -- ow -- now? Stop biting me!”
“It’s called practical learning!” Persephone said.
“And what am I learning? Ow! Cut that out, you little--”
“To include your wife in your criminal habits. And maybe plan things out for once in your life.”
“Sure, sure -- ow -- next time I’ll draw up a diagram for you.”
A lucky swing of the parasol found its mark and something slammed into a cave wall. The nothingness shimmered, and yellow scales glitched into view. Beady black eyes stared at them.
“See?” Louise panted. She straightened, rolling her shoulders back, and approached the shopkeeper. “That wasn’t so difficult.”
“Alright, dear. Just watch out for it’s--”
Persephone faltered as the shopkeeper snapped open its mouth and shot out a long, long pink tongue that slapped Louise’s cheek.
“--tongue...”
“It licked me! Did you see that! It licked me! It... oooh, that can’t be good...”
Persephone gently set the egg to one side, and rose to her paws. “Let me guess: tingles, sparks, and now you’re beginning to lose all feeling in your cheek?”
“That about sums it up.”
“Then you’d better sit down before the paralysis spreads to the rest of you and makes you sit down.”
“Paralysis?”
“Relax. It’ll wear off.” Persephone ducked as the tongue made another attack and squatted down in front of the shopkeeper. “Hello, sir.”
“Pay up,” he growled.
“No, I don’t think I’m going to do that,” Persephone said. “And before you even consider another lick, just remember that I have a cutlass strapped to each side that can fell ship masts, so consider what it can do to a tongue.” She casually leant both arms on the pummel of each weapon.
The shopkeeper swallowed nervously and pursed his lips shut.
“And, given from the almighty smack you’ve just taken, I’m going to guess that your camouflage ability has taken a jolt. Don’t worry - once the stress wears off, you’ll be as as good as new, minus one of your wares. But you’re not going to be vanishing any time soon, am I right? Don’t speak, just nod.”
The shopkeeper nodded.
“Now,” Persephone continued, “what my wonderful, but slightly over-enthusiastic wife said earlier is true. It’s not really stealing if the thing in question was already stolen. And what you have - had, sorry - is most definitely not something that would be parted for any money. In fact,” and she tilted her head to one side, recounting the facts, “I believe trading dragon eggs is illegal in all worlds in this sector, am I correct?”
Another nod.
“And a fine, upstanding merchant like yourself would never dream of selling the eggs of a sentient species. So, what is going to happen is this; we are going to go our separate ways - my wife and I will return this egg to the family that you ‘found’ this from, and you are going to go home and reconsider your life choices, capiche?”
More frantic nodding.
“Good, good. Louise, how are you faring?”
“My legs feel like ants are running up and down them.”
“Ah, that’ll be the pins and needles stage. You’re about a sixth of the way there.”
“Wonderful.”
Persephone knelt down by her wife and lifted Louise into her arms, balancing precariously to sit the egg in Louise’s dipped lap.
“Have I told you how much I love you?” Louise mumbled.
“Not in the last hour, but you’d better make it quick before the paralysis hits your tongue.” Persephone glanced back to stare daggers at the shopkeeper, just daring him to attempt anything, before her attention was called back to her passenger just as the paralysis did indeed hit Louise’s tongue. “Love, please stop talking. You’re drooling on my coat.”
Louise slurred something that may have been, ‘I love you,’ in the very loosest sense of the phrase.
Persephone kissed her forehead. “I love you too. Now close your mouth otherwise I’m going to tell your brother all about this little adventure.”
Louise made a disgruntled sound but didn’t attempt to add anything.
And now off to return a dragon egg to its family.
How difficult could that be?
#Anon#replies#the cat returns#cat writes#the shopkeeper is based off the shopkeeper from the pokemon dungeon games#the chameleon pokemon that can beat your ass if you steal from him#I can write nothing for weeks#and then I throw out 1.5K in one evening#ridiulcous#anyway#persephone#louise#the lost ladies
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count the ways !
Oh, here I go, making edgy stuff again-
It wasn't suspected, really, it wasn't.
Millie got a buzz from her phone, just as she did she immediately felt a wave of dread wash over her as she picked it out of her pocket and looked at the message.
It’s here. Get out.
Millie looked over at the crowds of people around her, she was suddenly dizzy, turning around left and right, up and down to have to see where he was. It was that anxiety she had that wouldn't let her go and the only other person that would be the girl that clung onto her wrist and dragged her out of the crowd. Hannah took Millie away and sat her down on a random bench, her free hand on her phone she immediately texted the group chat.
Where is it?!
Around the corner, it's getting closer, nearby the Ferris wheel.
Hannah looked up from her phone, beyond the many arrays of people she saw the all too familiar black top hat floating around people’s heads. The sudden laughter reaching far and wide was already the topping point, the 14-year-old huffed as she grabbed Millie’s arm and ran off with her towards the other side of the carnival. Millie was tripped over herself, the tears that ran down her face clouded her vision as Hannah guided her towards safety.
’For once, this fucking thing couldn't handle this day out of all days to have to leave her alone?!’
Hannah thought, stopping by a corn maze, she thought twice before a booming voice echoed in the crowd.
”I HeArD Th-tHErE WaS A B-biRtHdAy gIrL SoMeWhErE Ar-ROuNd hErE!!!”
Shit!
Another buzz, Hannah didn't look at the text but she just gave the seemingly bored teenager a bunch of tickets and ran into the maze. Millie went along, her hands wrapped tightly around the other’s arm, she heaved in agony as they both ran off. They didn't know where they were going and honestly, this wasn't even a good idea, but it was the only way to have to confuse this thing and get out of here safely.
They made a somewhat dead end and an open pathway towards another path when Hannah checked her phone.
What the fuck are you doing?!
Hannah bit her bottom lip.
Doing something stupid.
There was an echoing laugh from afar that made Millie whimper.
And smart, just go to the Ferris Wheel, call me or text me, I don't care, just guide me and Millie out without that thing seeing us.
Hannah turned off her phone and buried it deep into her pocket, she looked at Millie for a moment before she turned around and ran with her. She honestly didn't know where she was going and she was terrible at mazes, but this was the first thing she could think of. She turned two rights and one left before her phone buzzed, she hid behind a patch of corn before she looked at it.
I'm on the Ferris Wheel, I'm about to go up, Brooke will be by the maze wither by the end or start to see you guys.
Hannah raised her glasses up to her face, she noticed for a moment that Millie was looking over her shoulder to read the text. She gulped, even if the text was a signal of hope it still meant that they had a long way to go before the could really make it out alive.
”Don’t worry, we just have to lose him in here and when the coast is clear we leave, just not through the corn, he might hear us and get to us quickly.”
Millie sniffed as she dried up the tears from her eyes, she wanted to say something but the clash of metal footsteps made her instantly shut up.
”I K-NoW YOu’rE A-RoUnD HErE S-OmEwHeRe! C-OmE ON OUt!”
That sounded close, too close.
Hannah ran off again, Millie on her trail as they took as many turns and twists as they could get. Hannah’s phone buzzed right when Millie’s own did as well, Millie checked her phone with Hannah leading the way.
”Dylan said to take two rights and go straight ahead.”
Hannah nodded and did what she was told, unexpectedly passing by a few passersby who looked confused by the two teenagers running for their lives. It didn't matter, what mattered more was getting out of this corn maze and getting the Hell out of here alive and well. The sound of the metal footsteps were nearby, God knows how far this maze stretched but Hannah wasn't taking anything for granted and did what Dylan was texting.
Another buzz, two buzzes.
”Stop, he's close, go left.”
Hannah tool a sharp turn left, no doubt making poor Millie almost trip herself in the process but by now they had to get used to this.
Another round of laughter.
”W-HeRe a-rE Y-Ou t-wO?! I J-UsT W-AnT T-O G-IvE T-T-ThE B-IrThDaY G-IrL H-Er b-iG B-IrThDaY S-UrPrIsE G-IfT!”
Counting Millie’s last birthday gift being a broken leg no one was taking a chance to have to think this one was any good. Hannah was about to take a right until she saw a glimmer of white from the corner of her eye, she gasped and turned the other way.
Another buzz came from the teenager's phones, Millie checked her phone and gasped, pushing Hannah farther forward, now she was taking the lead. Hannah didn't have enough time to comprehend why when she looked behind her, the image of the white and purple bear running towards them was coming fast, his footsteps not missing a single beat as he laughed his obnoxious laugh. He was close, so very close, close enough for his very hand-only hand to have to grab at Hannah’s braid if it wasn't for Millie yanking the girl towards the right and for the bear to crash against the corn stalks.
Hannah finally gasped, her breath held in for a long that it hurt finally brought her back to reality. She looked towards Millie as she turned three rights and a sudden left, finally pausing to catch her breath. The two teens caught their breath a bit, just for a few seconds as they looked down at their phones. Dylan had texted them multiple times on where to go, a lot of the messy and in upper caps but it all ended up in.
The ride is about to end for me, just go ahead three rights and four lefts and you should make it out.
Hannah held her breath as there was a sudden wave of dread that hung over her, Millie caught wind of this a second earlier so she grabbed the other teen’s wrist and pulled her away. They took three rights and four lefts without fail, no mistake whatsoever but they suddenly paused. With their eyes widening and the air getting sucked into their lungs they crossed a dead end.
It didn't make any sense, Dylan had to know where the end was, this had to be a mistake!
Unless he types anything wrong or maybe his glasses we're overdue which they could be, the teen girls felt their throat tighten up as they saw the sign hanging to the corn.
You made it to the end, congratulations, now you just need to find a way out!
Bullshit! This was complete bullshit!
Hannah turned around to have to run off but Millie was stuck on her two feet, her legs shaking and tears running down her face it took a moment before Hannah saw it too. The bear, with it’s splitting faceplates, glowing blue eyes, and it's ever so damning height overtook the teenagers as it giggled in excitement.
”I F-fOuNd y-oU...”
It took one step.
Millie was already sobbing, hiding her face in Hannah’s sweater the poor teen could only stand there and watch.
Another step.
”oH, i-t's t-iMe, I-T'S T-ImE, o-h, I-T'S A-LrEaDy t-iMe f-fOr t-t-tHe s-uRpRiSe!”
The creature giggled, it's faceplates moving about in excitement as it got closer, the two teen girls stepped away slowly right up until they hit the corn behind them. The bear giggled again, raising its nub like arm up, the sudden wrapping and twists came alive and out came a metallic hand from it. Hannah didn't have time to question it before it reached over its own stomach and then opened its hatch.
It was dark from the inside, the wires and metal plates weren't comprehensible from the full moon above or even by the lights at all. Hannah noticed Millie look up a little from her sweater only to whimper and look down again, trembling so hard that Hannah too was trembling with her.
”tHeRe’s r-oOm f-fOr o-OnE M-OrE P-ErSoN I-N T-HeRe, Y-Ou knOw, N-OtHiNg b-bUt a f-eW P-OpS ANd t-TwIsTs a-rOuNd y-oUr bOnEs t-o m-aKe t-hAt h-HaPpEn, R-IgHt?!”
It laughed again, getting so close that t finally reached over not towards Hannah but to Millie.
”ThE B-bIrThDaY GIrL A-aLwAyS G-gOeS FIrSt!”
There was a scream right after, not from Millie, not from Hannah, but from the bear itself.
It immediately flung into hysterics, it's whole body convulsing violently with sudden shocks until it finally fell down to the ground, stomach still open and eyes dimmed to a dull black.
Both Hannah and Millie looked up in pure confusion until the sight of a blond-headed girl greeted them, her pose strong and brave she held a tase gun in her hands. Brooke gave another shock towards the mechanical bear, making it convulse all around again until she felt satisfied enough to have to bring the case right back and put the case on it for safety. The two teens were still in shock, both their eyes and mouths hung open before Brooke finally spoke up.
”See, I told you carrying a taser around would be handy!”
Both the girls ran over to Brooke and hugged her tightly, making her give a small laugh and hug them back. The three girls instantly ran off through the corn, pushing away what they could to finally get out of there and see where Dylan was. Dylan was parked up on bike by the parking lot, he looked so relieved to have to see everyone alive and well.
The four teens then exchanged hugs before they finally went off towards Dylan’s house, Brooke on Dylan’s bike, and Millie on Hannah’s, they all rode off into the night.
A movie night was a better way to celebrate tonight anyways...
#fnaf#five nights at freddys#fnaf novel#fnaf novels#fnaf book#fnaf books#funtimes#funtime freddy#fnaf funtime freddy#fnaf millie#fnaf dylan#fnaf hannah#fnaf brooke harrison#millie fitzsimmons#this is what happens when I love a story too much and I ramble about to for too long#yay for edge
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