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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

Note

what about getting into an argument with the monster trio </33 craving angst rn

A/N: Hope u don’t mind me taking it a step further with the angst

Also I’m going to separate these because they’re long af.

Zoro Version

Sanji Version

Luffy Version

Breaking up With the Monster Trio (Angst)

Word Count: 6.2k (bruh)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Ft. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji

CW: Lots of yelling,Implied Cheating, Reader is a Bit Toxic Herself, Cursing, Angst, No Happy Ending, Crying, It is a bit of WCI Spoiler but I tried not to put in too much so I added some situations that wasn’t canon if that makes sense lmao

Zoro

You guys actually are known for arguing in your relationship

You both argue at least once a day over something petty and everybody on the Sunny has come accustomed to it

“YOU CAN’T BRING A SWORD TO A GUN FIGHT ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“DOESNT MATTER I CAN KICK YOU AND ANY OTHER GUNSLINGERS ASS IF I NEEDED TO!”

“SHOCHU IS NOT BETTER THAN SAKE ARE YOU INSANE?!”

“UHHHH YES IT IS?!”

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO RAGE THE HELL OUT WHEN I SPEAK TO SANJI!”

“BECAUSE TWO PERVERTS SHOULDN’T BE IN A ROOM ALONE TOGETHER.”

“KISS MY ASS”

However one day you believe your argument may have turned for the worse.

You and Zoro have been actually having less interactions since you all met back up .

Zoro taken his role as the swordsman of the crew way more seriously and though you respect it and even admire it, it’s just you barely even communicate anymore. Not even petty arguments.

When you do start to try it he just breathes out his nose and finishes what he was doing as if he didn’t care to retort back

It just wasn’t the same between you and Zoro

And you even questioned If you and him were still together

Granted you both didn’t have much time to settle where your relationship was before separating, but you still wanted to at least talk about it, but you both never had time to do so

Intimacy has been long gone. When you seen him again he didn’t even hug you back he just patted your head

He doesn’t sleep in your room anymore. If he does it’s when you’re not in there and busy on watch

It started to get to you.

You wanted to wait and give it time but it’s been weeks now and it’s almost as if he subconsciously just broke up with you over the two years

You tried getting your mind off of it seeing as now there are bigger fish to fry and stronger enemies to defeat

Eventually you and the crew meet Law again and surprisingly you two hit it off better than him and anyone else on the crew.

He didn’t find you annoying—you were level headed and relatively nice to talk to so you managed to keep him company sometimes when he wanted to separate from all of the Strawhats

The attention he gave you was platonic but it was nice none the less—-you even managed to crack a smile out of him a few times

“Y/N-ya. Come help me with this, yeah?”

You both have amazing combat skills together too and it bought you some brownie points with him

Zoro However began to notice this friendship develop immediately

But he didn’t have time to ask you about it he needed to train more

Today though, he had some time

Zoro being Zoro was lost in the forest again but managed to somehow find you and Law sitting across from each other talking. You were laughing with him not even noticing the green haired swordsman approach you from the side.

“Lost again?” Law shot at Zoro still giving you eye contact.

Zoro Just grumbled, “NO! I just happened to find you both…we’re leaving this place soon so you both should wrap up your little date.” You frowned a bit at his tone. Date?

“Date?” You got up to follow him with Law a nice distance behind you both. “We were talking.”

“Yeah you two love doing that—“

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t mean shit. Keep walking.”

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a tiny bit happy seeing that Zoro at least noticed and felt jealous about you and Law’s closeness. In reality though you actually didn’t do that to get back at Zoro you enjoyed Law’s company and was refreshing to be around.

You and Zoro bickered a bit walking around the forest not even realizing you three were walking in circles because ZORO was guiding y’all.

“So if you see me talking to another woman what you’re ganna think I’m gay now?!”

“Go ahead and be gay for all I give a fuck—“

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT IM TRYING TO MAKE—“

“Room.”

You both appeared in front of the Sunny not even realizing it still arguing.

“HEY!” Law yelled getting both of your attention walking in between you both, “We’re back. Come find me when you’re done, Y/N-ya.”

“We’re done Talking actually.” Zoro Shot back heading to the training room.

“Says who?! I ain’t finish asshole the hell is all this passive aggressiveness towards me?!”

“Oh, Shut the fuck up!”

“NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ALL FUCKING MONTH I BEEN TRYING TO TALK TO YOU BUT YOU BEING THE DICK THAT YOU ARE JUST BEEN IGNORING ME AND THE FIRST TIME WE DO YOU WANNA FUCKING ARGUE SO FUCK YOU!”

It got awkwardly quiet on the ship. Sanji, and Nami gasped, Robin covered Chopper’s ears, Luffy and Usopp stopped playing, and Franky & Brook just paused.

Zoro looked like the vein in his head was about to explode. He was irritated beyond belief and the patience he barely had was already ran out.

“Go the fuck up the ladder now.”

You squinted your eyes at him. His teeth was gritted at yours and he began to breath a little harder. If he were to hit you you honestly wouldn’t be surprised at this point. You felt the rage coming from his body, he never got this angry with you and you never got this angry with him.

“If we aren’t ganna resolve our issues then I’m not going no where with you.”

“Resolve what exactly? The fact that you can’t be alone? Or the fact that you got bigger tits and you wanna flaunt them around to every guy you see because you crave male attention —-“

“Ain’t this a bitch— THAT’S what you think I’m doing?! You think I’m being some kind of slut or something?! I don’t need nobody’s mothafuckin’ attention if anything I’d like yours but it seems like your swords have all of it!—“

“Y/N..” Nami whispered, and walked over behind you to grab your arm since you started to approach Zoro as if your were ganna hit him.

She and Robin seen the hurt in your face for a while now when Zoro ignores you, they haven’t said anything about it but they had a feeling a fight like this was bound to happen.

“At least my swords don’t go around cheating.”

“Ch—-YOU THINK IM CHEATING ON YOU?”

“IM NOT FUCKING STUPID Y/N IVE SEEN HOW CLOSE YOUVE GOTTEN WITH THAT TRA-GUY—“

“IM ONLY CLOSE WITH HIM BECAUSE WE HAVE GOOD CONVERSATION. WE. COMMUNICATE. UNLIKE. YOU. AND I.” You pointed your finger back and fourth looking as if you were ready to shoot Zoro right then and there so Nami ran over out of worry and held you back by your arm and Usopp and Brook ran over to hold Zoro back because he had the same angry look in his eyes.

“IF YOU KNEW HOW TO SPEAK I WOULDN’T HAVE TO GO TO TALK TO OTHER MEN. Ever thought about that? Roronoa Zoro?”

Zoro stopped moving and just sighed pulling away from the two and walked the opposite way.

“Then keep communicating with him because we’re through. He can have you.”

It was almost as if none of your points were being heard. Your stomach dropped to your ass hearing him wanting to be done with you.

You scoffed.

Sanji was about to go and beat Zoro possibly to death for how he was speaking to you but you stopped him. It didn’t matter it wasn’t going to change anything.

“NO, ITS NOT OKAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU DON’T TALK TO A WOMAN LIKE THAT—!”

“Sanji!” You Held him back fighting any slick of tear to fall down the rim of your waterline. “It’s fine….leave him.”

Weeks have past since the argument, the entire energy of the crew has changed. You and Zoro stayed Your distances and never even spoke a syllable to each other once. You don’t eat with the crew anymore no matter how many times Sanji tries to kick Zoro out, but you just try to avoid the trouble.

The girls tried making you feel better, even Luffy tried by doing stupid faces but you haven’t cracked a smile in you don’t know how long. Your face is deadpanned now but your eyes constantly look sad.

You don’t talk much at all either and it hurts, a literal pain in your chest. You’ve been having headaches and a bit of sickness as well. Usually when you feel bad Zoro pokes fun at you for not having his immune system and holds you all day making Sanji bring you soups and teas. But that’s in the long past and now you’re alone in your room. Eyes were puffy, hair was wrapped in a tight scarf, and you had on nothing but a loose shirt and shorts as everybody except you, Franky, and Chopper were out on some new land. Nothing but the sounds of the crashing water and your subtle sniffles fill the room. You wasn’t sure if it was sniffs from being sick or sad but you didn’t care to figure out which

You sat up and decided to just read a book until you fell asleep again. You rummage through your stuff and found a picture. From two years ago. It was the first time you kissed Zoro and Luffy managed to sneak a lot of pictures, from when you both were caught, to Sanji looking pissed, to Zoro chasing Luffy and Sanji chasing Zoro. It was the first night Zoro confessed, how much you meant to him, how much he loved you, but didn’t “like” you, how much you drove him crazy—

And how much he wanted to be with you even after you both achieved your goals.

All the wonderful memories of you and Zoro pulled out some tears blurring your vision, you laughed at yourself with your cheeks now being stained, how stupid could you be to fall for him so hard?

Your chest hurts again. More than it did before it nearly felt like you couldn’t breathe, you hit the back of the wall and slid down crying in ache and pain in silence. Even moreso because now when you see Zoro from the times you mindlessly glanced at him, he looks happier to be without you than with you.

Is this what a heart break felt like?

Sanji

Sometimes you believe Sanji is just a womanizer. And you hate it because it’s actually not true.

You both have been dating for a year and you’ve noticed his simp like attitude for most women haven’t really let up.

You knew he would never touch a woman like how he touches you but sometimes when you want his full attention he can’t seem to focus it if another young woman is calling out his name

You didn’t mind it at first but it’s seems like it has gotten worse.

Granted you both never had time to have sex. It’s been back to back with fighting enemies and a bunch of new people joining on board momentarily.

But today was probably the last straw of his obsession with women

“He’s doing what?!”

“No! It’s not like that he got lured !”

“How the fuck do you get lured to a damn brothel, Franky?! He knows better!”

You stormed out of the ship disregarding your watch durty after hearing the unfortunate news. There is no possible way Sanji could be doing what you think he could.

“You messing with me right?”

Seeing Zoro and Sanji rush out of the worn building fixing up each other’s clothing. You really couldn’t believe your eyes if you were quite honest, your heart and stomach sank all at once. Sure, Sanji was a Flirt, and there were a few times early in your relationship you and Sanji talked about the boundaries you both set for when people hit on either of you, he swore up and down he’d work on doing so and you believed him, but you truly wouldn’t have guessed he’d ACTUALLY cheat on you.

Sanji’s hair was disheveled, tie was slightly undone, and he was flustered. It didn’t take too long to understand what happened.

Sanji However was mortified. He tried to get out of there as quick as he could, but he needed to be helped by Zoro and Luffy to escape.

“WAIT NO Y/N IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE—!”

You scoffed at the typical statement turning the opposite way back to the ship. You were more broken than mad. You held your mouth to conceal your quivering lips trying not to cry in front of anybody and picked up your pace to run as far away from Sanji as you could.

“Dumbass. I told you she’d find out.” Zoro muttered shoulder bumping him.

“Y/N I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“Didnt do anything?!” You cried, stopping in your tracks almost causing Sanji to bump into you from how fast he was running towards you, “Sanji…”

You grabbed his cheek with force, squeezing it causing him to flinch, seeing the small lipstick kisses on his cheek so close to the corner of his lips. You immediately imagined him laying with how ever many women, touching, him and to add insult to injury; him enjoying it.

You looked up at the sky, forcing your tears not to escape, but you failed horribly and Sanji’s eyes widened in fear. You drop your hand down and walk away. You didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say because you’d just end up crying even more and that’s one thing you refused to do in front of him or anybody .

You felt so stupid, you knew you shouldn’t have let him in, you were warned by almost everyone to NOT date Sanji, but you seen past that. You didn’t wanna believe the warnings. How stupid could you be? Sanji? Faithful? Doesn’t even make sense unless you put “is not” in between the words.

“Damn it! I never—!” Sanji groaned in frustration running back after you, he knew he messed up BADLY. It wasn’t his intention to go into that brothel! He was actually tricked into going, Zoro warned him not to follow that lady that “needed help”, and the moment he realized where he really was he tried to leave, but women swarmed him trying to get him to stay. The whole story was too good to be true and he knew you wouldn’t buy it.

The moment you arrived back on the ship you felt your blood get hot. The entire walk back you thought about Sanji and those women and the longer your thoughts stayed on that the angrier you became. You had to get a level head though, as much as you wanted to lash out, You knew if you took any action you’d end up regretting it.

“Y/N? You okay?” Robin and Nami seen you nearly sprinting to your room, you didn’t want them to know about the incident so you avoided their gaze.

“I’m—“ you cleared your croaky throat to mask how much you’ve been crying “I’m okay….just need to—to um…”

Nami quickly walked over to you, you got very nasty when you cried. You kept shaking your hands trying to find the words, but the closer the girls approached you the harder it was to conceal any pain you felt. It wasn’t until Robin touched your shoulder that you broke down in their arms about what you seen. You felt so stupid.

Sanji came running back out of breath and he seen you across the ship being held by Robin, your eyes were pink and puffy from rubbing them so harshly out of anger. Nami turned her furious eyes over to the cook ready to kill the man so she stormed over to him.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU SANJI?!”

Nami Tore Sanji a new one yelling and hitting him for the pain he caused you after hearing what happened. Honestly, Nami Just began to enjoy watching you and Sanji as a couple. She never thought you guys would last so long considering how he was, but she just started to believe he learned to behave.

You thought the same too.

Robin took you back to her room to calm you down and step away from the commotion, “Are you sure Sanji was really cheating?”

“I know what I saw Robin. He was coming out of the building, putting back on his jacket with lip stains.”

Robin patted your head, she refused to believe Sanji would ever hurt you like that especially from what he told her weeks prior:

“You shouldn’t worry, Sanji you already know what’s she’s going to say..”

“I don’t know…what if—“

“There’s no what if’s. I see the way she looks at you. How much you’ve changed her. She’ll say yes.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, SANJI?! AFTER ALL YOU BOTH BEEN THROUGH? WAS Y/N NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!”

Sanji was on his knees taking every hit Nami had on his head, not even trying to defend hisself she was furious than anything else. She noticed how happier you were with him. How sweet he was to you, and even though she had her doubts she believed in what Robin said.

About 30 minutes past and Robin managed to get you to sleep off your tears. It was needed. She left you in the room to sleep and headed back out to where Sanji was in the kitchen and everybody was getting ready to head back on the not to set sail.

“Sanji…” Robin leaned on the kitchen door, his back was facing hers hunched over a little. She didn’t have to look at his face to know he was sulking. “What really happened back there?”

….

A few hours have pasted and you woke up to a warm presence beside you rubbing your arm, you cracked your eyes open to see Sanji’s blurred figure, but when you pounced up it was nobody.

“Good..” You thought rubbing your eyes. The room was dark hinting it was now later in the night and though you could argue that was the best sleep you’ve had in a while you wish someone would have woke you.

You make up Robin’s bed and head to your own room for the night, not wanting to see anybody else still a bit of anger lingering in your head, however this is the Thousand Sunny where 11 other people live. There is no alone time.

“Get out Sanji…” Was all you groaned rubbing your eyes, seeing him sparked back up that annoyance and seeing his pink eyes really meant nothing right now.

“No. I have to explain—“

“There’s nothing to explain. You wanted to be with those other women…and you did. I’m over it.”

“But thats not what I wanted it was a trick I would never do that! Baby—“

“Don’t ‘Baby’ me if I was your baby you wouldn’t have been in that fucking brothel.— You know what—…”

You wipe your face in frustration and sigh, the last thing you wanted was to just completely scream at him off bat, considering how he reacts to you doing it.

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Sanji. I know I’m not the ideal woman. I’m not as gorgeous as Nami or Robin. I’m not as girly as them. I don’t always dress the best. I have many flaws, but you don’t know the exhaustion I get when I see you give so many women this attention that I want. You don’t understand how it feels to have a partner that is very attractive and can also ATTRACT whatever he wants it’s damn near sickening now because I feel like it’s gotten worse with you and when I seen you with that lipstick I damn near lost my mind…”

Your voice began to crack and tears manages to slowly escape your eyes.

“I knew what I was getting into when you asked me out but I don’t know…sometimes I feel like…you settled…and…it sucks because I never felt that way with you…and..”

You couldn’t even finish. You just wanted to pour your heart out because you hated keeping in your feelings, but it was all too overwhelming and you just broke down. Sanji immediately grabbed you to hold you and in that moment he was whispering small apologizes and it did… it did feel good to be held by him,

But it was wrong. Because he does this same routine to apologize.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…please…I made a mistake I’d never…” His lips right over yours as your face was in his neck leaning in closer, “Please know Id never hurt you..” His mouth began to inch closer to yours, but you pushed back harshly nearly making him fall.

“No! You don’t get to touch me! You always do that Sanji when I get upset with you and it just leads to me forgiving you again and us having sex I don’t want that! I’m tired! I’m tired of being hurt! IT’S THE SAME BULLSHIT ROUTINE WITH YOU AND THESE WOMEN SANJI—- DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT BACK WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU WERE MARRYING THAT GIRL?! YOU NEVER EVEN ASKED ME IF I WAS OKAY WHEN YOU CAME BACK YOU JUST ASSUMED EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND DANDY?! I STILL THINK AND WONDER IF MAYBE YOU REALLY DID WANTED TO MARRY HER AND IT WASNT BECAUSE YOU WERE ‘FORCED’…”

“Y/N I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU I ONLY THOUGHT OF YOU I’D NEVER EVER PURPOSELY TRIED TO HURT YOU EVER THEY WERE ALL MISTAKES! THEY WERE ALL SITUATIONS I COULDN’T GET OUT OF, BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT IF I COULD CHANGE MY DECISION I WOULD AND YOU KNOW THIS!”

The arguing continued. Neither of you were willing to hear out the other without cutting each other’s sentences. This was probably the first argument you and Sanji ever had where he was actually upset and not willing to back down.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME AND BELIEVE ME—“

“I DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE SHIT SAN—you know…” you pull your faces with your palms groaning until it transitions into a frustrated scream, you were over it. You had a headache and just wanted to sleep. “Just get out Sanji. I don’t wanna hear your voice right now.”

If the room was quiet with no background noises of the sea you could have actually heart break. You didn’t change your face, you were exhausted, but a small part of you felt immediate guilt seeing his shocked and saddened reaction, but you were stubborn.

“….does this mean we’re through?”

You could hear the cracks in his voice, eyes already threatening to water, you immediately avoided his sorrowed face and paused for a moment leaving the awkward quiet tension in the air so thick you can cut it with a knife.

You nodded.

Sanji couldn’t contain his tears, they flooded his cheeks, mouth parted he fell to the ground on his knees reaching up to your leg to hold them. He couldn’t believe it he didn’t want this to be true.

“Please…please no please don’t leave me….I can’t lose you I’m so sorry. Please.” Sanji couldn’t even make coherent words he sobbed on your legs, it shattered you immensely.

Your hands hesitantly touch his head but retracted it and instead pull him off. “You have to get out, Sanji…”

“I’m not leaving until we talk this out—“

“Get the fuck out before I make you get out.”

Your voice was cold like ice sounding as if you didn’t want to be in his presence, but Sanji couldn’t be fooled that easily. You couldn’t even speak to his face, you were fighting back tears yoursef, lips quivering and words were shaky. It was your anger talking and you knew this, but you didn’t care to just look at him to listen, to hear him, to understand, and fix the relationship. Instead. You wanted to just run away.

Sanji got off his knees, head low like a puppy wiping his eyes, his body felt weighed down, he was defeated, but he didn’t want to take the loss.

“I’m not letting you go, Y/N…ever….so..don’t think—“

“JUST LEAVE SANJI!”

You back was faced to him right before he shut the door and in a quick motion you sat on your bed and screamed your heart out in a pillow. Sanji heard, chest in pain, he leaned on your door crying as well.

Words couldn’t express this pain, it was as if your entire life came crashing. This wasn’t supposed to happen between you both.

This wasn’t supposed to end.

Luffy

How dense Luffy can be can really be exhausting

He was too trusting for his own good and though you once admired you now have grown to be annoyed with it

Maybe it was your fault

Maybe you were over reacting, but really? He couldn’t even take your side ?

But IT WAS BOA. You hated her! And Luffy knew this.

Luffy was also very emotionally intelligent, it was impressive how quick he can notice how you can feel, but that didn’t mask how dense he can be handling your emotions.

Boa was once again back and with Luffy, they were on the furthest part of the deck speaking. It’s been a week and for some reason she was still here. She claims it was to “check up on Luffy”, but for what? Y’all JUST reunited a few weeks ago and Boa has been back and fourth coming and going on the ship as she pleases and it began to irk you.

Everybody knew about her obsession with your captain except your own damn captain. The way her touched lingered, the way she blushed when talking to him, the way she would do pretty much anything for him.

It. Irked. You.

She was aware of your relationship with Luffy, which was why you both have had a few heated arguments before. The last one resulting in you nearly drawing your gun at her. It was embarrassing on your end because you never was the type to fight over a man, but this man in particular doesn’t understand when a woman that isn’t his is blatantly flirting and touching all on him and how much it eats up at you.

And everybody is aware of this. So much so that everybody purposely tries to occupy you from seeing the two today to keep things cordial.

“Are you tryna distract me?” Your tone slightly above a tease crossing your arms at Sanji Would was being more than overbearing to keep you in the kitchen with him.

“What?! No I could never! Just keep reading in here, Y/N-San!” He had a cold sweat immediately seeing Boa and Luffy now outside the door giggling and eating together. She brought him a bunch of food as another one of her “gifts” and at that very moment Luffy was tone deaf to everything in sight. Sanji noticed the beautiful woman inch closer and closer their shirtless captain and an instant chill ran down his spine on the possibility of what you’d do.

You shrugged, somewhat naive to what’s happening, you continued to finish your book, giving Sanji a sigh of relief back to his stove. The background noise of the kitchen eventually became tuned out while diving deep into your book. All was well until—-

“OH LUFFY I LOVE YOU!”

It felt like time froze, hearing that unbearable voice, you knew exactly who it was.

“SHE’S HERE AGAIN!?”

You slam your book on the table leaving it behind as you storm out. When you came outside your eyes were met with the same bullshit sight that always led you and Bo to fight

Her breasts smothering Luffy’s face and him not paying any kind to it.

“Oh Luffy! I— oh. MMPH.” Once again . Boa was being too touchy for your liking and it made your eye twitch. Her snarky attitude towards you and you only made you unreasonably upset. The way she’d sometimes purposely touch and cope a feel of Luffy in front of you just for Luffy to laugh at the situation and think you both actually don’t have beef with each other .

“Oh hey Y/N!” Luffy pulled from Boa’s grip to run over to you with his typical Happy Hour lucky smile. He didn’t a care in the world seeing you looking so upset but the tall woman now behind him did.

“Oh Luffy it was so amazing seeing you again! I’m so glad you—-“

Boa’s compliments and heart eyes went through one eye and out the other with you considering you kept getting irritated the longer she lingered on the ship. You wasn’t in the mood to argue with her, but that didn’t stop you from pulling Luffy away as she inches closer by reflex as if you were a child not wanting to share your toy.

Boa noticed this and immediately grumbled in irritation.You clearly don’t understand how angry you make this woman. Your boyfriend just pulled into your touch closer as he ate which in turned made her heart sting, but before she had another dramatic fit an idea came to mind.

“Before I go Luffy I just wanted to let you know that if you need anything just send me a call okay? …and my offer still stands with you about our…little agreement. Remember?”

Luffy furrowed his eyebrows a bit humming in thought trying to remember what “agreement” she was offering. She has made so damn many to him involving getting married who knows what this would be?

“Uh…”

“Oh you don’t remember? Before you left your training we had such an unforgettable night and—“

“OOOOOH! Oh yeah no thanks!” Luffy laughs scaring his head, “Yeah no I’m fine I have Y/N for that!”

It was like Boa nearly turned into stone herself , her face was dumbfounded and her heart was stung, as much as she wanted to cry and plead for Luffy to take her up on her “offer” she had to go but promised to be back soon. The moment she left it was almost as if everybody could breathe again and went back to their devices, but you however dwelled in the whole “offer” situation and how Luffy stated he had you for that.

After lunch Luffy and you were on the Sunny doing your daily fishing routine you both typically started doing when you both began dating. It was peaceful and sweet feeling Luffy happily hun and lean on your shoulder, but you just couldn’t relax until your curiosity subsided.

“Lu?”

“Hm? You caught a fish?!” He sat up ready to help pull your fishing rod, but you grab his wrist.

“No! No not that! I just…Um…okay what did Boa mean by ‘offer’?”

“Huh?”

“When she said you guys had an unforgettable night and—“

“Ohh! Oh That!” Luffy laughs and pats your head. “So before I left she accidentally kissed me and th—“

“She what?” You felt your stomach turn a little, sunk really.

“She kissed me! But she apologized so it was an accident ..anyways she said that we should have one night of uh…” Luffy scratched his head trying to think of the word she used. “What’s that word Sanji uses a lot? Starts with a P?”

Your eyes widen in horror on the possible answer he may say,

“PASSION THATS THE WORD!” Luffy chuckles pointing his finger upwards, “a night of passion, I didn’t know what she meant until she said ‘made love’. At the time I still didn’t understand but I remember that’s what you call what we do sometimes so I said no.”

“Luffy i thought you said I was your first kiss.”

“You were!”

“No.” You stood up crossing your arms, “I wasn’t if that stupid bitch kissed you.”

“Woaaahh!” Luffy laughs a little making your eye twitch in annoyance as he gets up, “you mad?”

“No I’m not mad.”

“Yes you are? You only curse when you’re mad.”

“I’m not fucking mad I’m irritated!”

“Same thing.”

“IT’S NOT LUFFY! Why does she keep coming back we don’t need her help anymore we are GOOD!”

Once again you began to Nager and complain about Boa and her presence which always made Luffy Just roll his eyes playfully. He never understood why you were always so mad when she was around but after learning that they both had the opportunity to have sex AND she kissed him you now had a better reason to explain.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is y/n it’s just a kiss. Besides we weren’t dating and I wasn’t thinking about you when it happened.” Luffy shrugged it off taking away your rod to finish fishing, “what?”

“Don’t what me?! You let her kiss you?!”

“I wouldn’t say let..she just did it, who cares?”

“I do, Luffy! You said I was your first kiss! When I asked you about you and Boa you said nothing happened you don’t remember?!”

“It’s not a big deal, y/n calm down and sit with me!” he reached out for you to sit on his lap with a bright smile but all you could do was sit there with a gaped mouth.

Your captain wasn’t the best with words, but damn he could have worded it better. The mere thought of Luffy and Boa being so close made your head spin. And you knew. You knew Boa said it Just to get a rise out of you, and she succeeded because you completely ignored Luffy and headed to your room for the rest of the vending leaving him confused for a moment.

You were quiet all dinner. Not even sitting next to Luffy like you usually do and he seemed not to noticed which piled on to the anger you already had.

He was acting as if he didn’t know you were mad at him and it made you mad.

Were you overreacting possibly?

Even if you were you don’t care to listen to reason right now you’re pissed and want to be alone.

“There you are!” Luffy laughs busting in your room in the late evening to see you buried like burritos in your blankets back facing him. “I thought we were ganna take a bath together.”

“Take it yourself.” Your words are mumbled by the covers. Luffy tilts his head confused at your cold tone, he once again shrugs it off to get in the bed with you to hold you but you wiggle out of his grasp making him whine at your attitude.

“Y/NNNN COMMONNNN IM COLD!” He snatches the blanket off , your warm body now shivering in the cold.

“Luffy for fucks sake—“

“You cussed again. You’re mad—“

“I’m not fucking mad Luffy can’t you ever just read the room?! I had other blankets you could use!”

In your mind your really didn’t want to curse Luffy out. He obviously didn’t deserve it but you’ve been alone in your room all day replaying scene with him and Boa in your head and you just could NOT think about it.

Luffy tries to pull your arm to sleep back with him but you instead pull away to put one some sweats.

“Where are you going?! You don’t have watch duty!”

“I’ll be back Luffy.”

“You always walk away when you’re mad .”

“What?!”

“You do. It’s kinda annoying honestly . Just lay back in bed with me—“

“I said I’ll be back Luffy!” You tried to hide the annoyance in your voice but failed miserably. Was he wrong though? You run away from any issues you tend to have with Luffy and he always calls you out on it. It almost felt like you wanted to cry right on the deck out of frustration. You ended up not sleeping I with him that night. He didn’t seem to mind or ask.

Then one night turned into two.

Then three.

Then a month.

It almost became like you both drifted away. Luffy stopped coming in your room to bother you, you both don’t hang out as much, Luffy seemed normal, you also seemed okay, but every once in a while you felt almost as if you both subconsciously broke up.

He watched you from a distance dancing and laughing with Nami and his cheeks warmed ever so slightly. You have been quieter around him, he didn’t seemed to mind it, but maybe he was over thinking.

But he wasn’t, it’s been 4 months and even though you were still with the Strawhats it was almost as if your relationship has diminished. It was no longer the same between you both, no more fun exchanges, no more inside jokes, no more late night food runs. It was all just

Gone.

And you both ignored how it made you both really feel.

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heeliopheelia · 9 months

Note

HELLO I MISSED 2 CHAPTERS AND A DRABBLE CUZ I WAS IDK JUST DISSOCIATING BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!!!!

okay so the hee drabble was absolutely amazing!!! it was so fucking hot man. like please the rough and teasing heeseung had me spilling im giving it 10mln stars out of 10

chapter 19

OMG SO ITS NOT FAKE DATING ITS EVEN WORSE WE ARE I DUMBASS LETS TRY TO MAKE HER JEALOUS SHIT

LEE HEESEUNG WTF???!! im so disappointed.

okay. im also on verge. CUZ OF HIS STUPID ASS

RIP YN like fr that shit is just sad man :((😔😔😔

RIKI I LOVE U!!! SO FUCKING UNHINGED?? LIKE THAT MESSAGE GUT U LIKE A FISH BITCH BOY

LIKE WHAT TYPE OF CRACK IS THIS BUT ALSO I LOVED IT 🤔🤔🤔😜😜😜 LOVE LOVE LOVE

chapter 20

omg that dicktus will have daddy issues man :(

NOT THE STALKING URE BETTER THAN THIS BAE!!!! 😣😣😣

KNOW THE AVOIDING MOVE FROM YN I GET BBY also deserved sorry not sorry 🙏 heeseung

YEAH YEAH FUCK HIM AND HIS NEW BITCH BUT ALSO :<

BRUH NIKI RIGHT AT HIM AGAIN ON TWITTER?? MY BOY IS FEARLESS AND HE GAGED HIM OKAY??? 74 years LMAOOOOO AMAZING I LOVE UR BRAIN 😳😳

NAKED JELLY BABY OIL FIGHTING? IS NIKI A RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR AT THIS POINT LOVE IT!!

Woakhhh a set up??? for confession?? let's get it.

THANK U MA'AM the newest updates were TOP QUALITY LETS GOOO!!! WIFE URE NAILING I😋😋😋

AAAAAAA EVERYONE MY WIFE IS BACK 😍🎉

Thank youuu, I always appreciate your feedback sm 🥺

No I seriously hesitated before actually making him go on a date with this hoe cus I was like nahhh it's too much but then I remembered it's our dumbass HEESEUNG we're talking about so I just rolled with it LMAO 🤪

DICKTUS PLS I'M IN TEARS 😭 Riki is just bloodthirsty atp but I'm glad you liked it MWAH MWAH 💋😘

#–wifey 💍.#carly answers ✎

0 notes

ficsforeren · 2 years

Note

EREN RANKINGS WHEN IT COMES TO AFTERCAREEEE PLS I LOVE UR HCS SO MUCH

aftercare? dudeeee okay

rockstar eren is the KING when it comes to aftercare. bruh this guy has loved you for 12 years, you think he would toss you away like garbage when he's done with you? god, he's gonna kiss every mark he left on your body, murmuring apologies and praises and he's gonna get a warm cloth to clean you up. if you're not too exhausted, he's gonna carry you bridal style to the bathroom where he's gonna help you wash your hair and cuddle with you in the tub.

soldier eren and knight eren are basically the same person at this point lmao and they're the best when it comes to aftercare too. they're just as romantic, if not more, as rockstar eren. soldier eren would cuddle with her in bed, read her love poetries and kiss her forehead when she drifts away to sleep. knight eren would gaze at her lovingly once they're done with the nasty part, they'd lay next to each other in bed, with him stroking her hair and nuzzling his nose against hers. soldier and knight would probably say "i love you" and "thank you" for at least 134514810 times during aftercare. they're gross.

himbo eren AAAAHHHH HIMBO EREN i'm sorry i'm such a fangirl when it comes to himbo he's going to be so cute during aftercare. he's gonna cuddle with her a lot with him being the little spoon lmaoooo but like, he's going to ask her whether she's okay, check on her expression every two seconds. will probably apologize a lot too cause he can be quite feral in bed (and with his 8.3 inches cock, it's a given that he's going to wreck her kitty apart). when he's sure that she's okay, he's going to lay his head on her chest, and he'll hum in content if she gives him head pats or cards her fingers through his hair HE'S SUCH A BABY AAHHHH

secret agent eren, college eren and vampire eren aren't the best but they're pretty great too, i guess. they're both gonna check on their partners thoroughly and make sure they're okay (cause college and secret agent always get a little too rough in bed while vampire tends to suck on her blood too much). vampire ren would bring her supplements and even cook her some fish and chips to help with her blood loss. college eren would play Cigarettes After Sex on speaker and smoke a cigar while he cuddles close to his lady. secret agent eren would be surprisingly talkative after sex, he'd start talking about trivial things and he would listen to her intently when she does the same. he'd be asking about her childhood and they'll share secrets and stories until they fall asleep in each other's arms.

idol ren doesn't date cause his company won't allow him to be in a relationship so he's only been having one night stand after one night stand. he's the type that goes wham, bam, thank you ma'am and leaves the second he's done with them. but i think he can be sweet if he's actually in a relationship with someone. will probably act like college eren, only a lot more spoiled. at the beginning of the relationship, there won't be any "aftercare" it will be you, taking care of his ass.

mafia eren? this bitch doesn't even know what aftercare means.

as for CEO, Homewrecker and Professor Eren, I'm gonna ask Sandra to answer them for me 😏(if you want to ofc) @the-princess-button

#this was fun #thank you for asking!#eren multiverse canon #never let me go canon #in another life canon #the last song canon #the secrets between us canon #keep it between us canon #eternity canon #tainted canon

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towerofgodscreamblogwink · 2 years

Text

reading (idk which chap because didn’t put it in the notes this time so im guessing it’s) 87 but we have beyonce meme, lybirock has issues over people calling him fish, white is mermaid gf, im kinkshamin bam’s hands lovers, but other than that i think we’re sane

disclaimer: these readings were made weeks ago as I’m up to date with raws, but waiting till official release so I can post (for several reasons, like switchin screens to official ones to not promote piracy and shi like that until i snap and blow up everything) (hence there might be future nes might be appearing - aka me as am checkin thru)

dfsdfsdfsdf

i just call him “ryba” cos it just sounds similiar to me

(ryba means fish in polish)

commander fish he is now

but lybirock rly doesn’t like people calling him commander fish

“Kallavan, would you please stop calling me that, and call me my real name? it’s really hurting my feelings.”

“Utmost apologies friend, I promise to no longer call you Lybirock, Commander Fish.”

“Kallavan, this is why I go to a therapist.”

YES

i saw ppl screaming about the hand and im like, yall, have some self respect (future nes: i forgot i was kinkshamin ppl durin these chaps, so now im just like, nice old nes)

ah yes bam activates the his special technique that existed since ancient times, “AAAAAAAAA”

he looks like he’s in a dress

(future nes: now that im lookin at again, he looks like a mermaid)

Bam: omg i always wanted to have a mermaid gf

White: i’m not a mermaid bam: ...

this is why bam snapped x2

nice panel

white: Im sorry mister bam, but i think ur not aware...

bam: eh??

white: THIS IS SHOUNEN!! ONLY PLOT DECIDES WHEN I DIE, NOT YOU, AHAHAHAHHAHA

BAM: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

this is the real reason why bam snapped

bruh, are you a masochist??

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

he’s looking as if he realized the sale is already over

“that the sale for that cool ass robe u wanted... IS ALREADY OVER!!”

“EEEEEEEEEEE”

yEEEEEEEE

same

(future nes: bro these readings were made weeks ago and i forgot most of these so rereading em now has me like “what was up with me??”)

heyyyy nice colours

“TEAM ROCKET BLASTS AGAIN!!”

i was wondering when she’d appear

*mANLY GRUNT*

don’t look at it for too long

i like this scene

that was powerful also white looks like an angry girlfriend

(future nes: fan translations had wayyy more tension here)

white’s like “ew bro watch out these r my newest shoes”

oh i love the pose

dick metaphore

now THAT’S impressive

other me: that’s tentacles.

me: shut up

#tower of god #tower of papaya #white #mermaid #uh #bam #uhh #FOX GIRL #was it fox girl??#uhhh #lybirock #kallavan #ryba #commander fish

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uniquecreations · 4 years

Text

Workplace Lover Pt. 3

This story is the final part from Workplace Lover part 1 & part 2.

It had been a few months since I last hung out with Ron outside of work, things between Alton and I had basically died after our last conversation. We were cordial while we were at work and only spoke outside of work when it was work related. Ron was in the process of getting a new job and that was a bit bittersweet because other than us not hanging out as much now then I wouldn’t have anyone to help me get thru those tough days at work. He would always tell me that nothing would change between us, but I knew it would change because with his new job, I knew that he wouldn’t have as much of free time to hang out.

We were working at a local store on Ron’s last day and I wanted to hurry up and end early because I had set up a lil going away office party for him. Things were going great until Alton decided that he wanted to be petty and fuck up everything he was counting. It was becoming very annoying because I knew he was doing this shit on purpose. After another 20 mins of recounting I finally told him to leave because he was no use to me at that moment. I should have known that would cause a problem between us later, but I would deal with that when it came. Eventually, we got thru the rest of the counts and made our way back to the office for the party. Of course, my workday wasn’t over just yet because I had to close out the store we counted, that caused a problem with Ron. He cussed me out more times than a little bit until I gave in and decided to finish the work when I got home that night.

The party was not all that great at first, everyone was being a bit uptight because we were still on company property. All that went out the window when Doris came in with a few gallons of Daiquiri's, things began to loosen up and then it became a real party. Music was blasting, food was served, and everyone dancing and having a good time while we had the opportunity. While I was talking with some of our coworkers, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around it was Alton standing there looking at me like he wanted to fight.

“I need to talk to you about something.” He said to me just above a whisper.

“Ok but if you about to start some shit then you can save your breath because I’m not about to deal with this bullshit right now.” I said looking him directly in his eyes. We walked down the shopping center where our office was in, once we were away from the crowd, we stopped, and the silence was starting to annoy me. “So, what you wanna talk about Alton?”

“About this thing between us and how I felt played you sent me home today for no reason at all.”

“Are you serious right now dude, you know exactly why I sent you home, it was because you were purposely fucking shit up because you knew what we were doing today for Ron. Now as far as this thing between us goes……… it should have been clear to you by now but in case it isn’t then let me be clear. The most we can ever be is coworkers, nothing more, nothing less, you have a lot of issues that I’m not willing to deal with from a nigga I’m dating or in a relationship with. Your jealousy is a tad bit scary and I have been down that road before and I can’t afford to do it again.”

“So, you are saying that because I was a little overprotective of you, it was mistaken for jealousy?”

“It’s a major difference between protecting and jealousy, what you were showing me, and your actions was not protecting me at all, it was all jealousy. That’s just the beginning tho because you also have very controlling ways as well and in case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not a puppy or some other form of animal that you say sit or stay and I obey your command Alton.”

“Man, you are tripping for real now with all these lies and shit you spitting out yo mouth, you know good and damn well I’m none of those things.” He said squinting his eyes at me.

“If you say so but you and I can be nothing past coworkers, I would say we can be friends, but we saw where that lead us and now are we done here because I have a party to get to?”

“I guess dude, but I still feel you dead wrong for telling lies about me.”

“Alton, nothing I said was a lie you know it and I do as well.” I said trying to walk away but he stopped me by grabbing my arm. “Alton…... don’t put your hands on me.” I said jerking my arm away from him.

“My bad Jaye but you always walking off from me when I’m trying to get to the bottom of things between us.”

“The thing about that is this……. Yes, what we had was fun but it’s over now because you can’t get a grip on your jealousy and wannabe controlling ways. All that came after I told you about some of the things I went thru. That was the thing that made me conclude that we are not meant to be together and that’s the part you not seeing.”

“How about we start over and go back to the beginning?” He asked touching my arm.

“How about not……... I’m not trying to go there with anyone right now, I have to much going on so thanks but no thanks.” I said and turned around, walked off, and resumed the party that was going on.

About 4 months had passed since the going away party and since I last heard from Alton, I still talked to Ron almost every other day and made plans that we almost never kept. The weekend before my birthday I wanted to go out and do something I didn’t do since I was a little boy and that was fish. I asked Ron to come but he told me he had to work so I just invited a few of my cousins instead. I made it to the spot where we were supposed to be meeting up at, I was a bit surprised that I was the only one that made it early because I was usually the one that was late. I sat in the car for about 10 mins before I saw another car pulling up, when it got near me, I saw that it was my cousin.

“About damn time you showed up; I was starting to think nobody was going to come.” I said to her once we got out our cars.

“Shut up I had a long night……. Don’t ask.”

“I guess but let’s get started so I can collect on that bet.” I said laughing.

“I don’t know why you would want to bet me knowing I’m going to crush yo ass on catching these fish.”

“I hear ya but make sure you have my funds bitch.” I said laughing as we got our stuff set up for the day.

Half the morning went by and we were what and what with the amount of fish we caught. I was reeling in the last fish I caught when I heard another car coming from behind us. I didn’t bother looking back because I knew it was probably the other cousin that was supposed to be here hours ago. I went to put my fish in the cooler and looked back to see the car that pulled in wasn’t my cousin, it was Ron. He walked up to where we were and looked at us like we were crazy.

“I thought you had to work with yo lying ass.” I said throwing a piece of ice at him out the cooler.

“I know you aint just throw that nasty ass ice on me……… and I did have to work but I left early so I could come out to this raggedy ass place.” He said sitting in my chair.

“Well shouldn’t I feel lucky that you actually made time for your friend.” I said rolling my eyes.

“You should bastard, I didn’t have to waste my gas and since we are talking about that, wasn’t it you the one cancelled on me the last few times?”

“You fucking liar.” I said and he burst out laughing.

“I swear if I didn’t know any better……. I would swear yall were an old married couple as much as yall be into it.” My cousin said reeling in another fish.

“Because he is an asshole.” I said throwing my reel back out into the water, once my reel was secure in the water, I attempted to sit down but instead I hit the ground hard. “You are such a bitch bruh.” I said looking at them both laughing.

“That’s what yo ass get for talking shit.” We stayed out for a few more hours before my cousin conceded defeat, paid me the bet and left to go home. I was packing up my things with Ron when he pulled me into a headlock. “What else you want to do today punk?” He asked while I was still in the headlock.

“I might be going to jail if yo dumbass don’t let me go.” I said pinching him in the side. “But I don’t have anything planned but going give these fish to one of my uncles and then go home.”

“Boring ass, let’s go out and get fucked up bruh.” He said.

“Ok but I’m not driving and also you know you have to get permission from your boo first.” I said laughing.

“You do know I’m a grown ass man, right? Plus, we not on good terms right now anyway.” He said shaking his head.

“Being sprung have nothing to do with being grown it just mean you forgot how to be a man, and when are yall on good terms?” I said while getting in my car.

“Nah that’s your territory messing with them lame ass niggas but I’ma be over at 8 so be ready.” He said mushing my head.

“Put yo hands on me again and I’ma tase yo ass bitch.”

We both left from where we were, I went to go get rid of the fish we caught but got held up talking to my uncle as per usual. When I looked at the time it was approaching 5 o’clock and I still haven’t made it home yet. I finally reached my house after about 5:30, I still needed to take a shower and pick out some clothes for tonight. After taking a shower, I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked to my closet to find something to wear. I picked out my clothes and went laid across the bed, I didn’t plan on going to sleep but my body had a different agenda than I did. I was woken up by someone banging on my door like they had lost they damn mind. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was because it was only one person, I know who would do stupid shit like that.

“I swear you act like you aint got the sense God gave a mule.” I said swinging the door open and looking at Ron.

“And I’m sick of yo ass always late for every damn thing and why the hell you don’t have on clothes Jaye?” He said looking at me and shaking his head.

“Because I dozed off after I showered, but it won’t take long for me to get dressed.” I said walking back to my room.

“You say that shit all the time and it still take you over an hour……. Hurry up.” He said throwing a pillow off the couch at me.

“Shut the fuck up, and I told you about coming over here fucking up my house.” I went into the room and begin looking at the outfit I chose to wear. I decided to change it up a little but nothing to major, I grabbed my phone and started playing music to get me in the mood for the night. I put on my playlist and began getting dressed, no sooner than I slid on my underwear, I heard Ron in the living room talking loud ass hell. I paid him no mind because his girlfriend always found a way to make him feel guilty about having fun or doing things without her. I looked down and realized that I was ashy as hell, I grabbed my lotion and began putting it on.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you got a girl booty?” Ron said from behind me.

“If you don’t get the fuck outta my room talking bout nonsense.” I said trying to cover myself up.

“You need to hurry up because I most definitely need a drink now.”

“Go look in the cabinet…… I think I have something in there you can drink……... I know how you get stressed when she grabs you by the balls.” I said laughing.

“You always running yo gums about shit you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said irritated, I looked back at him and could see the frustration on his face.

“Aww I’m sorry sweetheart you want a hug.” I said holding my arms open, he laughed and shook his head.

“You not about to touch me while you half naked, now get dressed and let’s go.” He said about to walk out my room.

“Don’t hate cause I look better than yo bitch, now get out.” I said pushing him out my room, the next thing I knew, I felt a sharp sting on my right ass cheek where this nigga had slapped it. “You are a fucking bitch, I swear I’ma shoot you in the mouth.” I said rubbing my aching ass.

“I got something for a mouth but it aint no bullet.” He said before walking out my room.

After me getting dressed and taking the shots he fixed us, we got in the car and headed out. We were laughing and talking the entire ride to the bar, I was beginning to feel those drinks he made us that we drank before we left out. His phone kept going off interrupting almost every song that was playing thru his stereo, after about the tenth time, I was starting to get frustrated.

“Either you check it or put the fucker on airplane mode because this shit is annoying the hell out of me.” I said looking at him.

“That aint nobody but Jakayla, I told you we into right now, but I may have downplayed it a little.” He said.

“You wanna talk about it or not?”

“I will tell you later right now I wanna have fun and ignore that dumb shit.” He said as we pulled into the bar parking lot.

“I swear you do that shit all the time, like we haven’t been friends for a damn good while now.”

“Boy if you don’t chill yo overly sensitive ass out with all that……… I’ma talk to you about it but I’ma tell you when I’m ready.” He said laughing. I looked at him, popped him upside the head and got out the car before he could hit me back. Once we made it in the club, the first thing I wanted to do was go to the bar. Ron came to the side of me and nodded towards a group of people. Upon further inspection, it was most of my team from work.

I couldn’t tell you how many drinks I had or where they were coming from but, I was having the most fun I had in years. I looked across the dance floor and saw Ron dancing with some girl, I looked in another direction and saw his girlfriend walking thru the door. I knew this was about to turn out bad, so I broke away from the group and tried to get to Ron before she saw him. When I reached him, I leaned in and whispered in his ear that his girl just walked in.

“I know.” He said winking at me and going back to dancing with the chick. I smirked and went back across the club to the group. I didn’t know what he was planning nor did I care at that point. I went back to dancing with my friends when someone came up behind me and tapped me on the ass. I looked back and it was Jakayla- Ron’s girlfriend.

“Hey baby…… Happy Birthday!!!!!!!” She said hugging me.

“Hey, thank you, I didn’t know you were coming.” I said smiling at her.

“It’s your freaking birthday dude, I wouldn’t have missed this no matter what.” She said looking around the club. Then she started laughing, I followed her eyes as they landed on Ron dancing with that girl. “If he wanted to make me show my ass then he should’ve picked someone who wasn’t his cousin…… dumbass.”

“Girl he a mess and a half but come on I will buy you a drink.” I said walking with her to the bar. We sat down, ordered our drinks, and was laughing and cracking jokes when Ron came up and plucked my ear.

“I told you I was going to get you back……. What up Kay?” He said smirking at her, she looked at him and shook her head.

“I swear you are the dumbest nigga I know, you trying to make me act up by you dancing with some thot……. Maybe you should have pick someone other than your cousin I hang with every other day.”

“Jakayla nobody was trying to make you do nothing and if I wanted to, I could pull any chick in here I wanted so shut that shit up. Overly dramatic ass.” He said laughing and walking off towards the bathroom.

“I swear yall are a mess.” I said laughing and drinking out my glass, she was about to respond when her phone lit up. She looked at it and scoffed.

“I swear I can’t catch a fucking break man; this girl didn’t show up for her shift tonight so guess who have to go in.”

“I know all about that trust me……. when you have to go in?”

“In a few……... where is your lil boo at?” She said looking around the club.

“I don’t have a lil boo bitch you tried it.” I said laughing with her. Ron came back from the bathroom and joined us; Jakayla left after about another 20 minutes to go to work.

“You look drunk as fuck.” Ron said drinking my last drink.

“Didn’t you say we should get fucked up? And bitch you are buying me another drink with yo big head ass.” I said standing up.

“Fuck you, come on let’s hit up waffle house……. I’m hungry as hell and I know you aint got no food at yo house.” He said standing up as well.

“You buying? It is my birthday after all.” We left out and was driving on the highway when I looked over at him, he looked like he was in deep thought. I didn’t bother asking him what was wrong because I knew he wasn’t going to tell me anyway. Once we made it to waffle house, it was packed so we got our food to go because I was not about to sit in there around all those people.

After we finished eating, I was a bit more sober than I was before, now I was kinda sleepy. I looked over at Ron and this nigga was knocked out. I went into my room to get some clothes out for a shower when my phone buzzed. It was Alton wishing me a happy birthday, I replied, ‘thank you’ and went took a shower, I went into the second bedroom and pulled a pillow and cover of the bed. I went into the living room to see Ron still asleep on my couch. I tossed the cover and pillow to the side of him, I took off his shoes and helped put him in a comfortable position before going back into my room. I slowly started to fall asleep after spending nearly 20 minutes playing on my phone.

“Jaye?” I heard Ron yell from my room door scaring the piss out of me.

“Bitch I swear I’m going to fuck you up. You always doing something stupid.” I said throwing a pillow at him.

“Shut up…… I’m about to head to the house.”

“Ron it’s late and you’ve been drinking, just stay here and leave in the morning.” I said sitting up in the bed.

“I don’t have any clothes and I need a shower, I’m good now that I got a nap.”

“I have some clean shorts and tee shirts and I have underwear still in the pack now go take a shower and I will get them out for you. I don’t wanna hear yo damn mouth either.” I said getting out the bed to get the clothes. He didn’t say anything, he just rolled his eyes and went in the bathroom. A few minutes later I heard the shower turn on. I hated being woken up because it would be hard as hell for me to go back to sleep. I got the clothes out for Ron, then I went into the kitchen to fix another drink. After I made it back into my room, I sat down on the bed and turned on a movie I knew I wouldn’t finish.

“Where the clothes at pussy?” Ron said walking into my room a few minutes after he finished showering with nothing on but a towel. I have seen him shirtless many times but him being practically naked in my bedroom put me in a daze. “Nigga did you hear me?” He said knocking me out my daze.

“Oh, umm right there on the dresser.” I said pointing to where I put the clothes. He looked at me and smirked before walking over to get the clothes.

“You aint fix me a drink?” I looked over to him just as he dropped the towel from his waist.

“Umm, I can fix you one.” I said trying to pretend I wasn’t looking at him. I got up out the bed and was walking to the door when he did something that I wasn’t expecting. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to him. I didn’t know what he was up to nor did I care, the only thing I could focus on was his dick starting to harden on my ass.

No words were spoken for the next 20 minutes as we made out. The way he was making me feel in this moment was something I could and probably would never forget. His dick was huge, and I could barely fit it in my mouth, but I managed to do so with scathing him with my teeth. His moans were music to my ears and forced me to give him my best. I was surprised when he bent me over the bed and buried his tongue deep in my ass. He was eating my ass so good that I didn’t want him to stop. He continued to eat me for about 15 minutes before stopping and making me slide up in the bed. I reached over in my nightstand drawer and grabbed the lube I had stashed there from my last jackoff session.

He took his time and he was patient while trying to get his dick in me. Once we found our rhythm, I could see why Jakayla was so crazy over this nigga. He had me moaning so loud and I’m sure I probably spoke gibberish a few times as well. As I laid on my back, this nigga was fucking me like he had a point to prove. The more I scratched his back, the harder he went, after about another 20 minutes of him fucking my brains a loose, he pulled out of me and shot his nut all over my chest and neck area while moaning and jolting forward with each shot of nut. Once he started to calm down, he leaned down and kissed me while I caught one of the best nuts I ever experienced.

We cleaned up and cuddle for the rest of the night while talking about what happened. He told me he doesn’t know what made him want to try that with me, but he enjoyed himself more than he thought he would. Although he and I had sex several times after that, we decided to cut that part of our friendship out. We are still best of friends and we still hang out as much as we can considering our schedules conflict a lot. I will never forget those times we shared but I’m also internally grateful for Ron being in my life.

©uniquecreations2020

#unique creations #gay #lgbt #black boys #first time #short story #bxb #friends #workplace lover #new story #non-fiction

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aspiratinganxiety · 4 years

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Smart Advertising

Hey, guys! I know it has been an age since I updated or posted any fic. I uh... I’ve been going through a lot.

Many of you, I’m sure, are now familiar with Omegaverse and A/B/O Dynamics. I have a deep and abiding love for this particular brand of trash, and I’ve recognized that there is a lack of it in the DC fandom. SO! Surprise, surprise! I’m coming back with Part I for a Jason A/B/O fic.

Let me know if you want to see more of this story, and I hope you’re all doing well in this godforsaken hellscape of a year <3

Tag List: @nxxttime , @possiblyelven , @thepuckishrogue , @jinkies-its-a-writer, @queeniepearls, @sesquipedalian-aficionado, @reinathequeenofdreems, and @dcuniverse-fanatic (If you want to be tagged, let me know! For more fics, check out my masterlist.)

Making time for a meal was often too much work for Jason. He ate on the go, eight out of ten times. The rare occasions he sat still to consume food usually involved an invitation from Alfred, like today’s debacle of a lunch. Steph was fighting with Bruce (shocker), Barbara had the flu, and Cass was diligently working one doozy of case. Her brief email rundown was more than considerate, given that she was using a satellite connection on the ass-crack of the planet in some Godforsaken jungle.

Trying to find the time to arrange a date? Ridiculous.

“C’mon, Jay,” Dick taps his shoulder with his knuckles. “I think you’d really like her. And her brother’s in the life, so it’s not like you have to deal with the ‘secret identity’ stuff.”

Now that was a plus, just not enough of one to lure Jason out of his malcontent. “Who’s ‘er brother?” he asks around a mouthful of sandwich, hoping to change the subject.

“Oh, a meta-guy I worked with in Spiral.”

The deliberate nonchalance of the eldest Robin makes Jason bristle. “Yeah,” he reiterates, tucking the massive bite into his cheek to speak more clearly. “And his name was?”

“Not the important part,” Dick dodges again. “The important parts are that she’s an omega living in Gotham who does charity work for a living. She is also very cute! I have a picture.” At this point, he sets down the family sized bag of plain Lays (abominable) and fishes his phone out of his back pocket.

Tim, thank Christ, decides to weigh in on the matter. “I feel like who her brother is happens to be important, considering that you specified he knows who Jason is, and by proxy the rest of us…”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You said I wouldn’t have to keep my identity a secret, because he’s in the life. That wouldn’t be relevant unless he knew me,” Jason motions to his chest vigorously, some stray shreds of lettuce escaping his sandwich.

“That’s not what I said” Dick insists.

“It’s what you implied with what you said.” Tim points at Dick with a cheese puff, pinky aloft, then pops the snack into his mouth to state another observation. “Also, regardless of whether or not he knows Jason, he knows who you are. That means he already knows who we are, and I’d really like to have his name, Dick.”

“Tim, shut up. This isn’t about you.”

“Let’s watch our tone, boys,” Alfred says, breezing into the kitchen with a faintly disappointed air to have found them, not only arguing, but hunched vulture-like around the kitchen island decimating what would have been decent leftovers. “Master Dick, we all know how Jason feels about match-making: much the way Master Bruce feels about it.”

Outwardly admonished, Dick says something to schmooze Alfred while he slides his phone over to Jason. Never one to deny curiosity, Jason peers down to see the girl Dick’s pestering him about. She’s a round young woman in a dirty pink T-shirt holding up a mop-head of a puppy with a big, goofy smile on her face. Her hair is windswept, she’s clearly sunburned, her front teeth have a gap between them, and she’s possibly the most adorable human being he’s ever seen in his life.

Shaking his head, Jason says, “She’s not my type.”

Unrepentant and quick to ignore the wave of wry disapproval emanating from Alfred, Dick stops mid-excuse to say, “Oh, she is so your type. Don’t lie to me.”

“She looks twelve!” Jason recoils, scrunching his face and glancing back down at the sweet girl in the photo. “The hell’s wrong with you?”

“She does not,” Dick defends himself, using his back to block Tim’s snooping look toward the screen. He double checks the picture himself, and a few moments pass. “Okay,” he shoots Jason a resentful glance while swiping forward a few times. “She looks a little young in that particular picture, but she’s in her twenties. Here! Look at this one.”

Tim to the rescue again! “Uh, I thought you said you had a picture, Dick. As in one.”

Dick doesn’t bother to dignify that with more than a muttered, “Puh-lease.” Like they weren’t all aware that folders full of images on anyone were only a few clicks away. Tim, especially.

Jason tunes out of the bickering that begins between them as Dick continues to exclude Tim, physically using his body as a barrier and failing to hold the phone steady for Jason’s eyes. She’s in a bikini top seated in a cheap plastic kiddy pool, more tanned and freckled with her hair restrained somewhat successfully in a braid that sits over her shoulder. Three massive dogs crowd around her for attention, but her eyes, amber from the angle of the sun, are staring straight at the camera. This smile is shyer; lips hiding her teeth, shoulders bent forward to bring her chest in and mask the soft rolls on her stomach brought out by her position sitting upright. She does look to be markedly older in this particular photo.

“How many damn dogs does she have?” Jason returns to his sandwich, averting his eyes and willing his voice to be dismissive.

“She works at the new shelter in East End, bruh. These aren’t her dogs.”

Damian ghosted into the kitchen at some point and posted himself behind Jason. The older brother pretends that he’s not startled to hear the kid speak. “Really? I’ve been reading good things about their practice. No-kill, good rehoming rates. Working to coordinate with other shelters and founding a spay/neuter program...” he trails off, weaseling between the two oldest brothers to have a look at Dick’s phone. “Smart advertising too. A scantily clad omega female sitting a pool with freshly groomed dogs? Good call. I bet those three have already been adopted.”

“Scantily clad?” Tim prods, doubly straining to maneuver around Dick.

Mercifully, however, this brings the picture show to an end. Dick huffs, glancing uncomfortably at Damian and tucking his phone away. Apparently, an actual twelve year old commenting on a woman’s state of dress is enough to upset his sensibilities.

Damian looks at Jason, eyes piercing and the same green as his own. He digs a hand into Dick’s bag of potato chips and says, “You should date her. She was attractive enough, and I’m sure she’s a lovely person.”

The child is unblinking as he withdraws a handful of chips and begins to eat them while starting Jason down. He half expects the little fucker to wave his free hand and pull some Jedi mind trick gag, but remembers that Damian doesn’t do pop culture humor when Tim’s in the room.

Jason drops his sandwich on the naked stone counter as though he’s discovered mold. “Well, that’s it for me,” he says, edging toward the sunroom and the side door into the gardens. “I gotta’ go.”

#Jason Todd #Reader Insert #A/B/O Dynamics #Alpha Jason #Omega Reader #Batfam #Bat Family #DC Fanfic #My Jaybird #Shut up don't kinkshame me #Turns out I didn't die #I can still make content!#...Maybe #Ya girl is outta practice tho

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mae-gi-writes · 4 years

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Deobi Playlist (EP 8) | The Boyz Imagine

Ep 8: In which Mae and Kevin have THE TALK, and Juyeon and Hyunjae gossip about them.

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main characters: Kevin, Juyeon, Hyunjae and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz

Genre: fluff, slice of life, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

----------

Kevin's heart is racing in his chest and up his throat. Suddenly, it feels a little too hot in the room, his coat weighing down on his shoulders like wet clothing that makes him want to squirm in place.

He knows he can't avoid this forever. But he also can't seem to look into Mae's eyes, for fear of what he might find there.

"Kevin?"

Running a hand over his face and allowing a sigh to escape, he answers, "yes. Yes, I do."

He focuses his attention on her feet. Silence reigns over the room as he contemplates whether he should bolt out of the door.

"You idiot."

He forces himself not to wince, preparing for the rain of rejections that will splatter his body like arrows.

And then, Mae is punching his shoulder, "you idiot. You're so stupid."

Surprised, his eyes flutter up to her face only to see her flustered, somewhat guilty expression. Realization dawns, chest releasing its tension.

He grabs her wrist in mid-punch to halt her actions, unconsciously pulling her closer as he does so and there's no chance of hiding his joyous surprise when the said woman averts her eyes this time as though she is embarrassed.

"I like you too," comes her mumble, "why didn't you tell me?"

"How was I supposed to tell you? I was friendzoned before I even tried."

"I didn't friendzone you."

"You kept saying how you'd never date any of us because we were like brothers to you."

"Okay fine," she pauses, "I might have said that. But that's beside the point. The point is…"

She trails off unsurely then and Kevin's heart practically skips a beat at how close they are. A little closer and his lips can touch her cheek.

"The point is that we're both idiots running circles around each other," Kevin says.

"Excuse me, weren't you the one hiding underneath YOUR DESK?"

"I was panicking, that doesn't count."

They trail off into another bout of silence, albeit comfortable this time. Kevin allows his thumb to stroke the underside of her wrist, relishing in its softest and not failing to catch the hint of a smile Mae tries her hardest to tuck away behind a mask of nonchalance.

Ring ring ring!

UGH, Kevin feels like groaning out loud as he whips his phone out of his coat pocket before slamming it to his ear with barely restrained annoyance.

Of all times, why now?

"Yes?"

"Dr. Moon! Patient Seunghee who you sent for an MRI scan is having difficulty breathing! Her blood levels are dropping rapidly and she says she's having chest pains."

"I'll be there in five. Where are you?"

"Block four Pediatrics, doctor."

"I'm coming. Try to calm her down."

He snaps his phone shut as Mae allows her hand to return to her side, "emergency?"

"Yeah. She was admitted yesterday. Seemed fine though," he mumbles, brain already speeding through his thoughts at the numerous reasons why her body is reacting this way and unconsciously striding towards the door, when he swivels back round to face Mae.

"We need to talk."

Mae waves her fingers at him, "go. We’ll do that later.”

He doesn't need to be told twice before dashing out of his office and down the corridor.

-------------------

"Psst. Juyeon."

Juyeon glances back at the door to see it ajar, with Mae's head peeking out from the slit. He looks back at Doctor Sangyeon talking about the medical care for one of his patients and hands his clipboard over to the other intern before quickly slipping out of the office.

"What is it?" He asks, taking note of her flustered expression and...is she blushing?

"I told Kevin."

His eyes grow wide, "told Kevin...what?"

"That I knew about him liking me," she pauses, "and that I like him."

"What? Wait--" Juyeon frowns in confusion, "is this why you pulled me out?!"

"Maybe."

"Mae!"

"What?!" She can't help but stomp her foot lightly and is glad that at this time of the day, there aren't many doctors around to see the frazzled state in which she's in, "Hyunjae's in surgery and I needed to talk to someone."

"Thanks for making me sound like the last option that you have."

"Juyeon, not the time for jealousy right now."

"But, okay wait--what did he say?"

"That...he thought I had friendzoned you all and that's why he never said anything."

"He does have a point."

"I did not--when did I friendzone you?!"

"Oh come on, Mae. You totally did, remember when we were--"

"Juyeon!" Sangyeon's voice booms out from his office and the said intern tenses up in panic.

The door slides open to reveal the said doctor looking more than a little displeased.

"Sorry Dr. Sangyeon," Mae quickly fibs, "it's my fault. I needed some data for the reports I'm writing up and Juyeon has them."

"Well make it quick. I need him."

"Yes, doctor."

Mae waits until the door slides fully closed before quickly ushering Juyeon away, "I'll see you later."

Juyeon pauses, hand on the doorknob, "dinner?"

"Sure."

"I want steak."

"Ask your girlfriend to buy you some."

He pouts, "you're so mean."

"See you, loser."

"See you."

"Love you."

"Keep that for Kevin."

Juyeon wastes no time in shutting the door before Mae can come and kick his ass.

-------------------

The moment Hyunjae steps out of the surgery room to peel off his mask and let out a relieved sigh -- a sign that the surgery has gone well without any complications -- his phone starts buzzing through his pants pocket. Fishing it out and seeing Juyeon’s name flash across the screen, he pulls his face into a grimace before accepting the call.

He presses it to his ear, “I don’t have ramen. You gotta go buy some.”

“That’s not why I called,” Juyeon retorts at the other end of the line.

Hyunjae rolls his eyes. He moves towards his office, nodding at the few nurses along the way, “yeah? What do you need then?”

“Are you done with surgery?”

“I answered the phone didn’t I?”

“Come to the cafeteria.”

“But I’m tired,” Hyunjae whines.

“Trust me, you’ll want to hear this.”

When Hyunjae steps into the cafeteria a few minutes later, it doesn’t take him long to spot Juyeon sitting at one of the corner tables tucked away in a corner, digging into his food with barely contained gusto. Smiling at the sight that brings back memories of his own internship days, Hyunjae quickly grabs his own tray, fills it up with food and curry (beef stew, his favourite) and goes to join the katter at his table.

“Hello stranger, haven’t seen you around here in awhile,” the older man says while taking his seat opposite Juyeon.

“I’ve been needing to hand in reports back to back and I have a surgery at six tonight. I’ve literally got only this time to eat,” Juyeon replies.

“Oh? With who?”

“Jacob. His interns are taken up with the Emergency Department so Sangyeon sent me over.”

“Damn,” Hyunjae shoves a spoonful of food into his mouth, “so? What’s so important that you couldn’t tell me over the phone?”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he catches sight of the grin blossoming over Juyeon’s face and lighting his features up like a Christmas tree.

“What?” Hyunjae asks impatiently, “What is it? Tell me!”

“Mae dropped by to see me this morning.”

“Uhuh.”

“And she said--”

“Wait wait,” Hyunjae cuts him off, “she didn’t come to see me?! Wow, that’s just rude of her--”

“You had a surgery.”

“Oh right. Go on.”

“So she came to me and said--” Juyeon proceeds to lower his voice, “that she and Kevin had THE TALK.”

Hyunjae blinks, “Huh?” and then, realizing the importance of Juyeon’s words, his eyes widen, “WHAT--”

Juyeon doesn’t hesitate to shut him up by shoving some curry into his mouth, “shush!”

“Sorry,” Hyunjae mumbles with his mouth full. He swallows it quickly with some water, reaching over to slap Juyeon’s shoulder in the process, “tell me! What talk?! What do you mean?! Do you mean--”

“Yeah,” Juyeon shoots him a pointed look, “yeah. THE TALK. You know what I mean.”

“And?! What did he say?! Don’t tell me he denied it!”

“Keep your voice down!” Juyeon glances around just in case there are any eavesdroppers, “anyway, yeah they talked. And they--well, I guess they came to an agreement that they both liked each other--” “About time.”

“Yeah. Apparently he told her that he thought he was being friendzoned.”

“Oh yeah, wouldn’t surprise me there. Mae has some amazing friendzoning skills,” Hyunjae’s shoulder lifts into a shrug at that, causing Juyeon’s eyebrows to stitch together, “what do you mean?”

“Let’s just say I thought Mae was pretty cute--”

Juyeon gawks before smacking his arm, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“--Before she opened her mouth,” Hyunjae finishes with a roll of his eyes, “that girl has like a sniper inside her tongue. With the amount of shit she spouts on a daily basis, I’m surprised her tongue hasn’t fallen off yet.”

“Oh. yeah. She’s kind of rough around the edges.”

“Not that I mind that type of girl. But it’s just Mae. I can’t see her as anything more now,” Hyunjae says with a shudder, “also, I think my mom might have dissuaded me from even thinking about dating her.”

“But your mom loves her.”

“Exactly my point. I don’t want her getting any in on who I can date or not. It’s my life, I can do whatever I want.”

“No wonder you’re still single.”

“And you’re whipped.”

“Mae came to me first though.”

“Because I had a surgery!”

“Yeah whatever, loser.”

------

Tagging: @juyeonzz @thesingingfae1905

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

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firemblem-fics · 4 years

Text

every monastery student as out of context quotes i have from my friends

a/n | sorry i just can't write normally today i'm trying doe i'm doing this for inspo

also uh this is really just me showing y'all my funny quotes and i can just imagine this character with this quote kinda thing pls don't take it seriously

black eagles

edelgard: "i don't have time for body shots, [name], im a LESBIAN"

hubert: "why are you crying" "[edelgard] says she hates me"

bernadetta: "either i'm sweating or i peed myself" "you can't tell?" "i don't know man i'm trippin ASS"

linhardt: "bitch shut up!! no one is asleepin' "

caspar: "you wanna hear good music? listen to madonna. a classy bitch."

dorothea: "my tits enter the room before i do"

petra: "he's a big bear." "who's a big bitch?"

ferdinand: "women don't need rights because i fuck men"

blue lions

dimitri: "my clothes are baggy and layered to hide my horse dick"

annette: "ugh is he really still alive? in this economy?"

mercedes: "that's geraldine. i hated her. she's dead now."

felix: "i might be gay but these hands bisexual baby i'll fight anybody"

sylvain: "i take the morning after pill like it's a vitamin"

sylvain pt 2: "why are you here? the brothel's down the road."

ashe: "his dad adopted him from the clearance section"

dedue: "im a giant. fe fi fo FUCK"

ingrid: "i had a filet mignon" "i don't eat fish."

golden deer

claude: "you never tell us how you feel." "... when's the last time you really looked at your butthole"

hilda: "FUCK HER imma put her in a nursing home and i hope nobody adopt her"

ignatz: "im simply THROBBING with knowledge."

raphael: "he's muscular but you can still tell that's not the arm he beats his schmeat with"

lorenz: "ah, children screaming. doesn't that make you happy?"

lysithea: "you think i'm a 12 year old virgin? WRONG, im a 16 year old virgin"

leonie: "im gonna date every man you like. even your dad. how are you gonna feel when i'm your new mom, huh?"

ashen wolves

yuri: "what goblin are you talking to?" "YOU MOTHERFUCKER"

balthus: "i don't know what the FUCK goin on here but my pp itches"

hapi: "you think you're the shit? wrong, you're just regular shit."

constance: "it's so weird to be outside. im in the sun, soakin up them HD rays"

others

male byleth: "you get detention for saying the f word" "bruh what the fuck"

female byleth: "we usually make fun of her but her dad just died so we can't right now"

rhea: "this isn't a democracy, fuck face."

shamir: "i'll just use my lunch money to buy a bottle of vodka instead"

catherine: "im the reason the block party turns into a glock party"

hanneman: "hey hey HEY don't touch your grandma like that"

flayn: "what grade are you in?" "i-i don't know"'

seteth: "only god makes mistakes"

manuela: "im a doctor. first name brief, last name case. dr briefcase"

jeritza: "i have no time to be snorting cocaine off of someone's dick."

i will tell y'all that 70% of these have come form my mouth if u wanna judge my character on that alone

#fire emblem #quotes #fire emblem three houses #crack #fun #this is for fun #pls dont get upset #blue lions #golden deer #black eagles #fe3h

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kidchameleon92 · 5 years

Text

“life story” 1

i’m not going to edit this at all going along. typos, bad grammar, mistakes. doesn’t matter. this is spontaneous thought.

disclaimer: i changed the word to “spontaneous” from “spurious” which means something completely different, so the first paragraph is already a lie.

anyway, it’s been a really weird and sort of bad couple months for me. mostly in my state of mind. i feel very stuck and very immobile when it comes to my art and career. and that is having a very negative effect on my brain. even though i’m putting out my favorite songs i’ve ever written. i’ve been meaning to write for awhile. i used to post when i lived in los angeles several years ago, just journaling my day to day life. but i haven’t for awhile. i guess i also used to write in a notebook while on different tours. but i think i’ve since thrown that away or hidden it somewhere.

point is: i just want to write to get things off my mind. and hopefully, maybe, it’ll help you (if you care to) get to know me a little more and on a more personal level. even if we haven’t met. and maybe it’ll make what i make (if you care about it) mean more to you. either way, mostly, i just want to rant a bit. so, this is my life’s story. i guess.

chapter 1: kid

i was born in a suburb of the twin cities in minnesota. my parents both grew up in minnesota and lived there their whole lives (until my mom recently moved to tennessee). my mom was a mortician, and my dad was an accountant. also an alcoholic. he cheated on her and left her and i when i was one year old. i remember growing up going to stay with him on weekends, except it was with him and his girlfriend at the time. except he was drunk a lot. and would drive drunk with me (a baby) in the car. so, that’s cool. anyway, my mom was really depressed, and that was not a good time (or so i’ve heard, because i was a baby, so idk).

i stayed with my grandparents a lot, because my mom worked full time. my maternal grandparents lived on a ton of land. my grandpa and i would ride motorcycles and four wheelers and sleep in a treehouse and all that. my other grandparents lived in the same town but in a small house. i used to go up to their cabin during the summer and go fishing and swimming and boating and all that. different g-parent vibes, but loved both a lot.

anyway, when i was three, my mom married my step-dad. he is from india and has had a lot of unique and challenging experiences, so that certainly brought a lot of particular lessons and outlooks into my life. i went there once when i was about 14. it was wild. but so, yeah. that kinda solidified my family unit. my dad got remarried later on as well. but the older i got, i saw him less and less.

so ... i loved video games. i played them all the time. a big part of my childhood. mostly nintendo. explains a lot. as a kid in school (4 years public, 3 years private, 1 year home, 3 years private, 1 year PSEO [look it up]), i was never popular whatsoever. i always wanted to gain some sort of acclaim or attention from my classmates, but was pretty much always looked down on for one reason or another. i remember in elementary school, i was the kid who was literally terrified of storms. probably because i had been in a tornado when i was six. but the moment it would thunder, all the kids would look at me to see if i was gonna cry. usually, i did. and the school nurse would take me outside and we’d walk around as a sort of therapy. i guess it helped sorta. i still get nervous in storms. but i don’t cry.

i also remember a time specifically that i got made fun of for wearing a denver broncos t-shirt. this kid just railed on me because it wasn’t a minnesota vikings shirt. so, one: i don’t even give a fuck about sports. but two: it stuck with me for some reason that someone would be a massive jerk over a t-shirt of a sports team. i guess that’s just because we as humans are messed up things.

anyway, in middle school, i started becoming semi-interested in music. i listened to the radio every night, listening to the top 10 countdown of big songs from that week. kanye, weezer, the click five, black eyes peas, green day. those were some anyway. besides that, i was just listening to like kelly clarkson and relient k or something. my mom had a steven curtis chapman cd in her van i thought went hard. but i started getting into popular music around then. i also started to write my own music. i used to take piano lessons from when i was like six or seven until i was 14 or so. but after i started writing my own songs, i hated practicing assigned pieces. i didn’t care. i wanted to play my own. so, the teacher said if i quit, i couldn’t be her student again. so i did. that’s fine. she said i was her most talented student. but i didn’t work that hard. so, that goes to show that natural talent and hard work have different roles, i suppose.

chapter 2: girls and high school and such

in high school, i started LiKiNg gIrLs and stuff. i also was still not very popular. i also had started a band (with jack). i wasn’t very good, but i was just as obsessed with it as i am now. anyway, i liked this one girl from my church, and we talked all the time. but because we grew up in a pretty fundamental church culture, we weren’t allowed to date. which honestly, i fine, because looking back, no one knows what they are doing at 16 really. i definitely didn’t. i still don’t know what i’m doing. anyway ...

so, this girl and i half-dated for a couple years, and i was really clingy and annoying. but that’s just how i be. and i thought i was gonna marry her and stuff, because in a fundamental church context, you over spiritualize everything.

[[disclaimer: i am a christian, and i still go to church, but my theology and ideology on a lot of things has just evolved and changed a lot since i was young and since leaving the ultra-americanized/ultra-fundamental “christian” realm. main point being: we all are effed up bro and need saving. i’m an idiot always!]]

but now we’re back. girl “dumped” me and started dating another guy named “patrick” right after, even though she technically wasn’t allowed to date until she was 18. but apparently, she just wasn’t allowed to date me. so, that was cool. anyway, i was angsty, but then i got over it. because i was 17, so life big time goes on.

then i met another girl from canada while i was finishing school and going hard at my band stuff. we hit it off, and i started visiting her up there. and she visited me and all that. it was cool. and then all of a sudden, she really started hating me. and to be fair, i was weird and clingy and sort of a lot to deal with. but we kept dating. all the while, i was sort of leaving behind music to try to get into nursing school. yep, nursing school. but i got rejected, which is great. and so, i decided to go to audio engineering school in canada. and she was gonna go to college in the same city. this is great! so i thought. she dumped me (well, i sort of broke up with myself for her) about a month after we were living in the same city. wack. but it made me buckle down and work my ass off in school. i was top of my class one semester. yeah, i’m not that dumb. sometimes.

towards the spring of the next year, i happened to meet a girl who was at my church with one of my friends. she seemed chill. just talked a little. nothing crazy. happened to hit her up on twitter just to say hi. no intention. we talked a bit. nothing after that. then all of a sudden, a couple months later, i was tweeting about reading harry potter for the first time (note: fundamental upbringing). she happened to tweet me back about it. and long story short, we went out on a date. a sort-of-date. and what was supposed to be a lunch turned into an all day and half the night date. anyway, we got married a year later. after a lot of immigration paperwork and expenses. that’s a whole other post. that sucked. it’s a lot. and it’s why i feel bad for people who have nothing who are trying to come here to flee danger in their own countries. again, another post.

chapter 3: married, and other hard things

so, i forgot to say that before we got married, i lived in los angeles for a year after school. i was doing more sound for film work. on set stuff, post-production. got to do work with like ... james franco, matt damon, emma roberts, william shatner. some cool stuff. but jack’s old band came through on tour, and i saw two shows. and i was like ... bruh. i gotta do music, what am i doing? so, i literally moved back to minnesota within like two weeks, worked as a nursing assistant for a little bit and got married. then moved to nashville like two weeks later. i guess i could’ve stayed in los angeles. but nashville felt like the move at the time. everything happens with a purpose.

so, we moved here, and she couldn’t work for three months because of immigration stuff. so, i was like, well, guess i need a job. so, i got a job managing a home for a couple people with intellectual disabilities. it was super hard. mostly because the company was really, really bad. so, i got another job working as a staffing coordinator in an office for a home health care agency. that was a little better. still tough. but less overwhelming. a couple months after i got that job, i got an offer to go on a country tour playing bass for someone. and i was like ... well, this is why i moved here. so, i quit and went on tour. and shawna actually took my old job. interesting.

i was gone for three weeks, and it sucked and the pay was bad, but at least i was doing what i wanted. but then i got an offer from my friend to do some tech work on a much bigger country gig. i hadn’t done it before, but it was better pay and a better position. and on a bus and nice things and all that. so, i went for it. i pissed the other girl i was playing for off. but that’s show biz, baby. but like, i found a replacement for myself and paid to fly him out to her shows and stuff. so, really she won.

anyway, i toured with this other artist for four years. and i learned a lot. it was very, very challenging, both mentally and physically. and some people are just hard to work with. but i still gained so much valuable experience and insight into touring from that. i also started playing guitar for another artist who was small at the time, but has now had a couple number one hits. but his label fired me because i didn’t look country enough. we’re still homies though, so it’s literally fine. because i do indeed not look country enough.

at the same time, i was doing my own solo music and also producing and writing with and for other people. i’ve had the opportunity to write and produce for everything from independent artists to major label to billboard charting albums to whatever. songs on major television networks. i’m still very un-rich though, if that tells you anything.

but really, i just wanted to do my own music. and i literally couldn’t get it to go anywhere. i had no idea what the “secret” was. what was i missing? money? connection? power? actually probably all of that, to be honest. this industry is wacko. i was pretty close to giving up.

chapter 4: milkk

i read a satirical article on vice.com about “how to start a trendy band” or something. i thought it was funny. so, i called jack. he had just been kicked out of his old band for no reason. i was like, “bruh, let’s do this article.” and he was like, ok. so, we sort of did. and i’m not gonna go into all the early details, because i’ve done a million press interviews about how our band started. and i don’t wanna say it again. google it.

this was the first time that i actually saw people care about my music. it was a high. it was like a dream. and we hadn’t even had any big song or anything. just the fact that people were listening and engaging was mind blowing to me. but just like with anything, the more things went, the less i found satisfying. the more “likes” or “follows” on socials didn’t feel like enough anymore. the streams didn’t seem good enough. the chart positions on the debut album didn’t seem that great. the hype wore off a little after the debut album hype. and that made me insane. probably because we as humans are not built to be satisfied by the things in our life. “Vanity of vanities!” it’s in ecclesiastes. like the bible one.

chapter 5: now

anyway, that’s bad. i had (and have) let my mind convince me that i have to achieve something in order to be happy or fulfilled, when i know that that stuff will never fulfill me. i could play the biggest stadium and have the biggest song in history, but after a burst of dopamine and excitement, it would be empty. and i know that nothing here will do that. at least, that’s what i believe. my hope is outside of myself.

but that’s hard to internalize when you are so passionate about something, and have been for so long, and all you want to do is create things for other people that they can appreciate and be influenced by. but it’s probably also selfish. like i openly admit i like the idea of fame and presence. and it probably ties all the way back to wanting acknowledgement and attention as a kid, from being unpopular and ridiculed and, honestly, left by my dad. maybe i just therapied myself.

but regardless, i know i can’t put my identity in all this stuff. it’s hard, and it’s harder when you create stuff. because it’s so deeply tied to you. but it’s still not “who i am.” i know who i am and what i believe, but i’m still a mess, so i can’t enact that in my brain perfectly. in fact, far from it.

anyway. it’s late, and i’m going to post this and attempt to not worry about how it does on social media. stupid!!! i just want this out in the world for you to read. hopefully it’s helpful for you in some way. but mostly, it was just cool to write this out, for my own sake.

i’ve been blessed in some amazing ways. my family. oh, yeah i forgot that i have two kids. i love them a lot. i don’t talk about them on social media much. but they are very special to me. and we’ve always been taken care of, even when times were tight or i didn’t know when the next paycheck was coming in or i thought my wife was about to die or whatever. the Lord provided for us every time. and i am grateful to have what career i have. it may be “small” and nothing to look at by the big industry standards, but i believe in what i make so much, and i’m just grateful that anyone cares about it at all. and i will continue to do so until the day i die. because i have to.

it’s what i was born to do, for better or worse. and no one can tell me otherwise.

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unicorn-poop · 5 years

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Troll Rose and the Rule 63 Trolls (School)

(Anyone know the source? I found this on the internet. Anyways here’s what the 12 beauties look like (Only because I like this one the best).

THE CONDESCE: YOU ALL AR--E GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL W)(--ETH--ER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

KARKAT: BUT MOM I DON’T WANT TO GO TO A PLACE FILLED WITH ANNOYING UGLY ASS HUMANS! EW!

SOLLUX: yeah ii don’t thiink thiis school would be a very good iidea...

THE CONDESCE: W)(AL--E YOU ALL N--E--ED FRO--ENDS!

ARADIA: i have friends! i am friends with the spirits of the dead

THE CONDESCE: Friends that are not dead...

ARADIA: awwww....

THE CONDESCE: Anyways you all will actually end up sucessful and not losers w)(o will still live wit)( mommy....Now bye!

(Kicks the trolls out)

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUCK!

(The trolls end up walking. They past a McDonalds on their way to school)

TAVROS: uHH KARKAT CAN WE GET SOMETHING FROM MCDONALDS, i AM STARVING

KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING NO! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? ASK ARADIA! HE IS THE LEADER HERE! HIS SIGN IS AT THE BEGINING OF THE ZODIAC FOR FUCKS SAKE!

TAVROS: aRADIA...

ARADIA: no. that place is just the saddest place on earth. burger queen is much better tavros

VRISKA: No it ain’t! They suck ass!

TEREZI: YOU 4R3 ONLY S4Y1NG TH4T B3C4US3 TH4T WHOPP3R G4V3 YOU TH3 SH1TS!

FEFERI: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

VRISKA: Shut up terezi! Not funny fish 8oy!

(The trolls make it to school)

NEPETA: :33 oh cool! there’s animals?!

KARKAT: THOSE ARE FREAKS! I THINK THEY’RE CALLED FURRIES! WHO KNEW THIS SCHOOL WOULD HAVE FUCKING FURRIES HERE!

NEPETA: :33 aww yesssss! time to make some furiends

TEREZI: 3V3RYONE SM3LLS!

STUDENT 1: Hey freaks

ERIDAN: excuse me? wwe aren’t the freaks here!

GAMZEE: hEy BrUh WhY yOu GoTta Be MeAn To My FrIeNdS?

Equius gets up at Student 1 face. the kid pisses himself

EQUIUS: D--> listen you disgrace you will leave me and my friends alone! we are not the freaks here! we got noble blood that is higher than yours. you should listen to us because we rule the school. now get lost (Cracks Knuckles).

Student 1 runs away

EQUIUS: D--> a waste of our time

SOLLUX: thanks eq

KANAYA: Did He Just Soil Himself?

KARKAT: HA! YEAH EQUIUS SURE SCARED THE PISS OUT OF THAT DWEEB!

(Suddenly Jade harley walks past)

JADE: hi guys :)

(All of the trolls stare in aw. Yes Jade is still a girl And a human in this AU).

ARADIA: oh wow she is so pretty. she makes me feel more alive than i already am

TAVROS: wOW SHE IS SO PRETTY!

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii have a thiing for human female2 wiith long black haiir.

KARKAT: HOLY FUCK!

NEPETA: :33 she is so puritty!

KANAYA: My What Lovely Clothing She Has

TEREZI: HOLY SH1T!

VRISKA: That ass ;:::)

EQUIUS: D--> Oh my! I need a towel

GAMZEE: sEe GuYs MiRaClEs Do ExIsT

ERIDAN: looks like this vviolet gal here is getting a human girl in her red quadrant today

FEFERI: GLUB GLUB!

The trolls then all look at eachother

KARKAT: FUCK ALL OF YOU! SHE IS MINE! OUT OF ALL OF YOU I DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND!

TAVROS: nO WAY MAN, i DESERVE HER, WE LITERALLY WOULD BE THE BEST COUPLE IN THIS SCHOOL, bESIDES YOU’RE TOO LOUD!

SOLLUX: ii am 2mart! ii thiink ii de2erve her more than the 2 of you.

EQUIUS: D--> no way. i have higher blood than the three of you. who wouldn’t like a lovely bl00 lady like me? she will be mine! understood lowbloods?

ERIDAN: i am prettier than the 4 of you so she’ll be in my red quadrant. it’s the truth i don’t make the rules!

GAMZEE: HONK!

NEPETA: :33 oh wow the girls are fighting ofur her.

KANAYA: I Don’t Blame Them

VRISKA: Ha! Well she is mine. The rest of you can just find someone else. Look fussyfangs (Points at Dave) I think that man over there would be a gr8 man for you! You should go talk to him.

KANAYA: No. He Seems Like A Asshole I Think You Should Date Him.

VRISKA: Nah. He’s uglyyyyyyy!

NEPETA: :33 i think he means black dating

VRISKA: Sure but right now that raven haired human girl is going in my red quadrant.

KANAYA: No She Is Not Why Would She Want To date You?

VRISKA: Because I am a hot mother fucker!

FEFERI: )(a! Sea t)(ese muscles gentlemen. T)(e human is going to be mine

VRISKA: You’re a dick! Why would she want to 8e with you?!

FEFERI: My blood colour you ass! Also t)(e very fact that I )(ave )(igher blood t)(an all of you so )(A!

TEREZI: SUCK 1T! NOBODY W4NTS SOMEBODY WHO SM3LLS L1K3 F1SH!

FEFERI: (pulls out Trident) T)(AT’S IT!

Kanaya pulls out his chainsaw.

KANAYA: WILL YOU ALL JUST STOP! Why Are You All fighting For A Girl We Don’t Even Know?

KARKAT: BECAUSE.....

(Suddenly dave strider passes)

DAVE: Sup grey humans. Nice candy corn horns.

ARADIA:.......our horns aren’t candy buddy

DAVE: Hey there beautiful (Looking at karkat)

KARKAT: (BLUSHES)

KANAYA: Jesus He Seems Like A Asshole

VRISKA: 8ut fussyfangs he’d 8e the perfect guy for you.

EQUIUS: D--> Let’s get to class

(In Fourth Period)

TEACHER: So class today we will be learning about geometry. Now turn to page 69 in your text books

(The whole class heavily sighs)

All the trolls couldn’t stop thinking about Jade. 11 of them wanted her in their red quadrant. You can guess who doesn't. He just wanted to be her morail.

JOHN: hi.

KANAYA: Hello Human

JOHN: you’re really handsome.

KANAYA: Thank You Now Could You Tell Me About This Human That Has Green Eyes And Long Black hair

JOHN: oh, that’s my sister jade harley! have you met her yet? she’s awesome isn’t she?

KANAYA: My Friends Are Obsessed With Her

JOHN: oh really? well she is really pretty and a very friendly person so it’s understandable.

VRISKA: Hey Fussyfangs! Why are you talking to that loser?

JOHN: I am not a loser!

VRISKA: so this jade human is related you you, huh? So 8uddy can you tell me how to get her in my red quadrant?

JOHN: red quadrant?

VRISKA: How can I make her my girlfriend? Jegus you humans are stupiiiiid!

JOHN: join the football team! seems something you’d be good at as well as your shirtless friend. in fact why don’t you have half of your friends join the cheerleading squad and half join the football team.

VRISKA: Thank you weirdo

JOHN: it is john, MY NAME IS JOHN!

(Later on at Lunch)

VRISKA: Ok guys so this John human says to get the girl of our dreams is to choin football and cheerleading.

TEREZI: WH4T 4BOUT 4RT CLUB?

KANAYA: Terezi You Would Just Get Kicked Out For Eating All The Crayons And Chalk

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3 TH3 ONLY R34SON 1 W4NT3D TO JO1N!

TAVROS: sO WHO IS JOINING WHICH SPORT

VRISKA: You can just join cheerleading! You’d suck and get crushed in football.

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME?

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii’ll joiin cheerleading. that 2ound2 fun.

KARKAT: I THINK I’LL JOIN TOO! TIME TO SHOW OFF MY AWESOME SKILLS

GAMZEE: i’M wItH yOu Sis

ERIDAN: all the girls wwill be jealous of me!

EQUIUS: D--> i will join football so i can crush all the dumb peasant males on there

FEFERI: Right! Me and you Equius! Going to crush all t)(e losers on there!

NEPETA: :33 i’ll join ch33rleading. it s33ms fun.

ARADIA: i’m going to use my ghost powers.

VRISKA: You ass! That’d 8e cheating!

ARADIA: yeah and i don;t care. stay mad blue blooded scum!

VRISKA: >::::(

TEREZI: W1SH 1 COULD JO1N 4RT CLUB!

(Johm comes up to their table)

EQUIUS: D--> no humans aloud

VRISKA: There’s my man

KANAYA: You Are Dating?

VRISKA: Nah, I don;t date nerds

JOHN: so are you guys doing the cheerleading and football?

KANAYA: Apparently.

JOHN: any of you also want to join LGBT+ Club?

TEREZI: WH4T 1S TH4T?

JOHN: For Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer, Allies and others.

ARADIA: we wouldn’t mind joining. after all we are all bisexual since we trolls are all bisexual.

KARKAT: PANSEXUAL!

ARADIA: whatever.

KANAYA: I Prefer Males In My Red Quadrant.

JOHN: cool. you’re gay and that is fine. we meet on wednesdays. oh and dave is going to be there

(John Leaves)

VRISKA: Kaaaaaaaanaaaaaaaayaaaaaaa :))))))))

KANAYA: No

(So later on the 6 try out for cheerleadong and the other 6 tryout for football. Surprisingly they all make their respective teams)

To be continued. See next time how The 11 trolls try so hard to get Jade in their quadrant.

#Hs #Aradia Megido #Tavros Nitram #Sollux Captor #nepeta lejion #nepeta leijon #kanaya maryam #Karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #Vriska Serket #Equius Zahhak #Gamzee Markara #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #John Egbert #Jade harley #Dave Strider

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iknownothingihearnothing · 6 years

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BoJack Horseman: 5.1 “The Lightbulb Scene”

I’ve been busy the past few days watching and rewatching the latest season of BoJack Horseman to properly recap it for you all and because BoJack is AWSHUM. Seriously, it is one of the best shows on Netflix and that is saying something because Netflix is stuffed with content for our eyeballs. Like whoa.

As I write this, they are likely releasing three new shows and two movies. Netflix has money to spend and spending it they are. Like a drunk lottery winner.

I love BoJack Horseman. It deals with heavy topics such as depression, anxiety, miscarriage, and divorce. If performed by real people, all of this would be unbearable. But because these are anthropomorphic animals mixed with cartoon humans, it’s delightful.

BoJack is about an aging 90s sitcom star who gets everything he’s ever wanted but still hates himself. Oh, and he’s a horse. He’s a walking, talking horse who wears clothes. Come on, that’s funny.

He has a new show this year called Philbert, named after Princess Carolyn (henceforth referred to as PC) and Ralph’s sadly miscarried baby, Philbert. Which makes a lot of sense because her work is also her baby. In a depressing way.

A lot of BoJack makes sense in a depressing way.

We open on Philbert’s Hollywood (excuse me, Hollywoo) set, where a bunch of fish ladies are synchronized swimming to a song about Los Ageless.

(Like this but fishier.)

Inside, a femme fatale that is a lizard in lipstick shoots Philbert and when his blood pack doesn’t explode Flip, the show’s creator, calls cut. PC, who forged BoJack’s name last season on the Philbert contract to get him attached to the show, assures him he’s doing just great.

PC also crows about her producer credit. “I was watching you, which is all a producer does!”

Side-eyeing producer credits from now on, man.

What does that even MEAN?!

BoJack tries to get Flip’s attention but Flip blows him off. We pan to Mr. Peanutbutter, who is in crafty for some reason dressed as Julius Caesar, is in Warbler Brothers Studios pitching ideas to Flip. John Philbert’s house looks exactly like BoJack’s because Philbert needs to be “cut off from the rest of the world”.

...Oh I get it.

Oh, Angel. IDC what he does, he’ll always be Angel to me.

Later on, BoJack and his new costar, Gina, are hookin’ up, which is totes cool in the BoJack universe because animals know their own minds and are able to consent. It’s like Star Trek. Different species even have babehs. Somehow. When BoJack fails to “perform”, Gina’s about to leave when he asks her if she likes her character, who is, of course, named Sassy Malone. She does not. Sassy’s main characteristics are that she hates bras but loves cold rooms; she is mostly there for jerk off fodder. But she has a mortgage to pay.

BoJack is lonely post Gina hookup and calls a sleepy Hollyhock at college who, if you remember from last season, was straight up poisoned repeatedly by Beatrice when she slipped her a Chub-B-Gone roofie in her coffee, sending her eight dads to Los Ageless in worry.

At Tabbywood, PC’s abode, we are reintroduced to one of BoJack’s many in-universe gimmicks:

The actors are the same names: Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor blah blah boring. She should’ve been called Elizabeth Tail-or. Or Elizabeth Taylpurr.

Yolanda wonders what Todd, who is now living with PC, will do all day on his butt when she’s at work. He is totally content to do nada and she is obviously not content to let him do nada so this will certainly be an issue going forward in their relationship.

I forget what Yolanda is. I know she is from the ocean. Is she a sponge? A starfish? What?

PC very sadly lost little Philbert last season so this year she has decided to adopt. Her adoption agent? Literal Mother Goose. After she signs over a 60K check, Mother Goose flies the coop--also literally--and leaves her in the lackadaisical hands of caretaker Tracy, who at first thinks she’s five months pregnant.

Fun!

At the Warbler Brothers Studios, Flip and the casting director are searching for women, some human and some not, to play strippers in an upcoming scene. Three are human--one is either a ghost or a lady in a Burka with drawn on boobs, though I think it’s a Burka; it’s white though so I could be wrong--one is a frog in pearls, and the last is a giraffe whose head we don’t even see at first.

This is why I love BoJack. Who else would think of this shit?

BoJack himself knocks on the door and finally gets to speak to Flip.

Also why I love BoJack. It unflinchingly and cacklingly points out blatant Hollywood hypocrisy.

BoJack repeats Gina’s comment that the stripper scene where he as Philbert is sitting there drawing the girls is “gratuitous and male-gazey” and Flip cuts it in a totally not man baby “I’m always right” move. Instead, Flip has BoJack paint Gina naked instead.

That didn’t exactly work out as planned.

At the Italian place, Todd’s old girlfriend, Emily, introduces her new firefighter boyfriend, Steve D’Mazio. As opposed to her old firefighter boyfriend, Steve D’Marco. Emily made an app specifically for firefighters to meet her.

I cannot throw a rock without hitting a Steve D’Mazio here. I went to high school with a bunch of Steve D’Mazios.

Todd suggests making an app for asexual dating. Then explains to a confused Steve that not all asexuals are aromantic. Thus begins a convoluted explanation that very much confuses poor muscly Steve. His muscular everything else are bigger than his head.

At the Philbert set, which of course looks just like BoJack’s house, BoJack begs Flip not to take out his aggression on Gina. He swears he isn’t, we know he is a lying douchebag, and Gina mumbles something about going to crafty to get potatoes.

She’ll need all that starch to get through those unnecessary nude scenes.

Todd and Yolanda revisit their conversation about how he’s a do-nothing slouch, so he decides to get a job. BoJack is there, all ready to confront PC. He has a spinny chair and everything, all Dr. Evil.

But it’s only Todd who wants a job. They find a listing for a janitorial position at WhatTimeIsItNow.com, the same media outlet that produces Philbert. BoJack has an Aha! moment.

He suggests Todd apply for the position and leave an anonymous note to Flip threatening to stop all nude scenes OR ELSE!

Of course Todd, who has the best luck ever, is way too overqualified to be a janitor and immediately becomes President of Streaming Content.

He will not abuse his AUTHORITAH by ordering Flip around, no sir.

Fed up, our intrepid equine hero approaches Flip himself. He won’t do the nude scene. Flip snivels that he is his god now and BoJack will do what he says because he signed a contract (not really) so if Flip wants him to learn Korean, he will learn Korean. If Flip wants him to walk around with shit in his pants, he will have shit in his pants. Or he’ll sue his ass.

Ew. Mark Schwahn, is that you?

If you have not read about One Tree Hill and The Royals EP Mark Schwahn, do yourself a favor and google that shit, he’s a menace.

While PC’s at the adoption agency with Lackadaisical Tracy, she gets a call from Flip Flipping out--

(see what I did there?)

--about how he “played his hand” with BoJack and BoJack shows up drunk as a skunk. PC goes outside to meet him and gives him the Hollywoo Agent peptalk. Pull up your Big Horse pants and honor your commitments, even if you don’t like the character. PC’s gots shit to do.

So, BoJack trudges back to the set, disrobes, and changes that lightbulb, bruh.

At the airport, Mr. Peanutbutter, holding a sign that says BLARN, picks up Diane with a new haircut. She has just returned from a recent trip. They seem friendly but distant...and then he drops her off here.

Yeahhhh, remember how they were having troubles last season? They’re getting a divorce.

At Philbert HQ, BoJack finishes his nekkid scene, then goes to crafty nekkid to eat some Cadbury eggs nekkid to much applause. Later at his house, Flip apologizes to BoJack for trying to forcefully remove his robe for the scene, but of course does not apologize to Gina, then cackles that women might stop complaining about being nekkid on camera now that a dude did it.

Flip is the worst.

The episode closes as it begun, with the fish ladies doing their water ballet in the pool.

I have to wonder. Do people eat meat in the BoJackverse? Probably not, right?

#Bojack Horseman #bojack season 5 #tv recaps

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huangels · 6 years

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➧ 85 questions

tagged by: @jencto ty my love! ♡

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people @ohdaddy-nct @dcyoungs @rxnjuns @reunjun @angelita-gordita @taeybear @taezhu @lycheechann and all who wants to do!! (only if u want too bbs)

↳ Last…?

1. drink ─ hot burning coffee that i almost spilled while driving to class bc it’s pouring outside

2. phone call ─ laura (my friend who just graduated high school !!)

3. text message ─ my mom (telling me to drive safe in the rain uwu)

4. song you listened to ─ jump by shinee (the album = a whole ass bop)

5. time you cried ─ oof i cry for the lamest and dumbest reasons but last night i was looking at nct fanart and i saw a cute ass noren one where jeno was dressed in a big moomin costume and wished renjun a good day w/ a ballon and it was all hella cute and shit lemme find it i rb on my personal (THIS ONE) it was,, so cute,, i actually cried,,

↳ Ever…?

6. dated someone twice ─ oof i rarely date let alone the same person twice lmao yikes

7. kissed someone and regretted it ─ i kissed this huge asshole in high school for a dare and he wouldn’t stop saying we had sex for a whole ass week,, this is why i dont date

8. been cheated on ─ nope

9. lost someone special ─ yeah but that’s the circle of life i guess :(

10. been depressed ─ oof did you mean: my four years of high school

11. gotten drunk and thrown up ─ uhh psh no i don’t drink underaged,,, mhm

12. fave colors ─ WARM TONES!! nudes (skin colors), maroon/burgendy (just like a dark bloody red), rose gold/dusty pink (the light shade of pink but not pastel), black (just bc), royal blue (the only cool toned color i like idhhdh)

↳ In the last year have you…

15. made new friends ─ yO making new friends is my middle name (i love making new friends !!)

16. fallen out of love ─ i’ve never BEEN in love...

17. laughed until you cried ─ if it’s after midnight, anything will make me laugh and cry (also i laugh at everything so yes)

18. found out someone was talking about you ─ lmao hell yeah high school drama everyone was out for me bc i look like a bitch and people are so quick to judge ://

19. met someone who changed you ─ umm not really everyone’s pretty chill. my roommate, who’s also like my best friend, is a huge party addict so she brings me to many parties, so i guess i’m more out there ? idk moving on

20. found out who your friends are ─ literally once i graduated high school and went to college, all of the snakes just left and now i’m surrounded by my real friends uwu :^] why tf is everything related to high school i don't wanna remember that

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list ─ bruh i only have facebook so i can get extra rewards on iphone games ksjkdj

↳ General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl ─ refer to #21

23. do you have any pets ─ i, myself, don’t have one bc i live in a dorm, but back at home, i have a doggo. she’s a thai ridgeback and her name is 巧克力 (qiao ke li = chocolate) and i miss her vv much :’))

24. do you want to change your name ─ for the most part no, i like my name, but when people call me ‘ran-you’ or something of the sort, i question why i live in america

25. what did you do for your last birthday ─ i traveled around china alone (well with my two friends back in china) without my parents for the first time bc i was an Adult™ now

26. what time did you wake up today ─ i was supposed to wake up at 8am but i didn't roll out of bed until 8:30am but hey, i made it to my 9am class 10 minutes early somehow

27. what were you doing at midnight last night ─ looking at nct fanart on tumblr and wishing that i coud draw/paint like that :’))

28. what is something you can’t wait for ─ my trip to spain!! i’m traveling to spain for 2 weeks with my friend at the end of june to july and i’m so excited bc i haven’t hung out w/ him in forever

30. what are you listening to right now ─ i’m in my accounting 2 class rn,,, so my professor lecturing about debits and credits (yes i know i should be paying attention but i’m an independent learner so i prefer reading the textbook and taking notes,, i’m just here bc attendance is graded)

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom ─ my old high school teacher whose first lecture was about corn and how it’s in EVERYTHING that is mass- produced today,,, well his full name is actually thomas

32. something that’s getting on your nerves ─ it was raining as i was walking to class and even though i had an umbrella, somehow my pants are still all drenched and this lecture room is SO DAMN COLD and i’m shivering someone save ME

33. most visited website ─ my school website lol

34. hair colour ─ jet black but in the sun it turns reddish brown ?

35. long or short hair ─ super long, it reaches my waist lol

36. do you have a crush on someone ─ does renjun count? jk kinda ?? but not really bc,, idk dating doesn’t really act as a major objective for me right now

37. what do you like about yourself ─ friendliness and outgoingness ?

38. want any piercings? ─ oof i already have a lot but i want more yes (i have 3 on both my lobes, 1 on my both cartilages, and on my right ear i have a snug ? is that what it’s called idk) lowkey highkey i wanna pierce my nose but we’ll see

39. blood type ─ o

40. nicknames ─ all nicknames i’ve ever gotten: ren, renu (my baby cousin calls me that bc she can barely pronounce words), fish..., nyu, rennie, r, human fish, + many puns on my name

41. relationship status ─ single and tired

42. zodiac ─ scorpio

43. pronouns ─ she/her

44. fave tv shows ─ the office, black mirror, we bare bears, law and order, futurama, stranger things, bob’s burgers, bate’s motel, american horror story (i love the duality between cartoons and fucked up shows dsdkjh)

45. tattoos ─ i want ones !! (prob small in hidden places) but um maybe once i graduate undergrad at least

46. right or left handed ─ right handed

47. ever had surgery ─ no - kinda? i have a scar on my eyelid bc when i was like 3-4 y/o, i was playing hide and seek w/ my uncle and cousin in china and i was running around and i turned quickly around a counter the same height as me and the corner of the counter cut open my eyelid,, this is kinda tmi but i was so stunned bc blood was running literally out of my eye so i didn’t even cry, i just stood there like ‘oh...that’s a lot of blood...’ i went to the ER to get it stitched up but idk if that counts as surgery :p

48. piercings ─ refer to #38

49. sport ─ currently i play volleyball and basketball for club, but played a lot in high school too

50. vacation ─ anywhere i love traveling !! also east asian,, mostly just china i miss my friends and family :’))

51. trainers ─ ?? uhh as in shoes? or the gym? idk,,

↳ More general

52. eating ─ as in what i ate today? if so, a bagel and a boiled egg for breakfast

53. drinking ─ coffee that’s now cold rip

54. i’m about to watch ─ uhh my professor continue talking about accounting and economics

55. waiting for ─ this class to end so i can eat lunch

56. want ─ a change of pants bc i’M WET AND COLD

57. get married ─ i sure hope so

58. career ─ i want to start and own a fashion brand/company/line (i’m double majoring in international business and trade + leadership management right now)

↳ Which is better

59. hugs or kisses ─ both i just want affection ;((

60. lips or eyes ─ these are hard to pick but eyes !

61. shorter or taller ─ taller even though i’m pretty tall as it is

62. older or younger ─ older or the same age ? (rip sorry renjun)

63. nice arms or stomach ─ arms? i need you to be able to put me in a chokehold and KO me (not in a kinky way,,, maybe,,,)

64. hookup or relationship ─ relationship duh ?

65. troublemaker or hesitant ─ team too-lazy-to-be-either

↳ Have you ever

66. kissed a stranger ─ uhh prob not

67. drank hard liquor ─ no officer i don’t drink underaged mhm

68. lost glasses ─ i literally have like 6 pairs of glasses that i keep thinking i’ve lost but then find it again

69. turned someone down ─ oof yeah sorry

70. sex on first date ─ no i have standards

71. broken someone’s heart ─ i hope not ! at least not intentionally

72. had your heart broken ─ prob once or twice

73. been arrested ─ in my good christian household?! (i’m not even christian tf)

74. cried when someone died ─ well of course i have a heart

75. fallen for a friend ─ all my friends are hot as fuck no lie

↳ Do you believe in…?

76. yourself ─ always :D !!

77. miracles ─ eh,,

78. love at first sight ─ maybe not LOVE but something similar

79. santa claus ─ i-is he not real... (i’m kidding dbksj)

80. kiss on a first date ─ sure why not

81. angels ─ renjun is a walking angel on earth

↳ Other

82. best friend’s name ─ vincent, alyssa (my two fave people)

83. eye colour ─ dark poop brown

84. fave movie ─ i watch too many to have 1 favorite but for the sake of this tag, i’ll say coraline

85. fave actor ─ i have a big gay crush on dilraba dilmurat also tom holland

el fin

#tags #personal #this is such a long post sorry mobile users ifhdihs #uhh ignore typos i'm in class #honestly this is so much info about me wow #i'm not very interesting or funny tho so #yall prov just gonna scroll pass its OK lol #YALL DILRABA IS SO FUCKING HOT AND CUTE I LOVE HER #google her if yall don't know smh

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dw-writes · 7 years

Text

Espresso Shot - miloredboy

SO!!! I am so deeply sorry @miloredboy for this taking SO LONG to come out. And because of that, I spent even /more/ time trying to make sure that this turned out as great as it could and I’m sorry it took so long!!!

SO after much waiting, here it is!! My second espresso shot commissioned by the lovely miloredboy for our favorite Edgelord Werewolf Dad: Gabriel Reyes

Gabriel Reyes was the most ridiculous man you knew, besides the obvious fact that, well, he wasn’t human. You had met him at a costume party a few years back, dazzled by the obvious work he had put into his headless horseman costume, and honestly? You were amazed. So much so, you spent most of the night just talking with him. After that, he couldn’t get rid of you. Or, you couldn’t get rid of him? You weren’t really sure. But you grew close. And closer still over the last year, until it reached the point that you weren’t just looking forward to spending time with him, but you were having small day dreams about him kissing you.

“Gabriel?” you asked softly, watching as his back tensed a smidge. He was cooking dinner, something he insisted on doing for you at least once a week. His knife slowed just a bit as he hummed in recognition. “Do you wanna go on a date, maybe?” you asked hesitantly.

This time, his knife stopped. He looked over his shoulder at you, arching an eyebrow. “A date?

“What? Is that out of the question?” You sank into your chair, pouting. “If you don’t wanna go, fine, we don’t have to go on a date.”

“No, no,” he said as he lowered his knife. He turned to you, wiping his hands clean on a towel. “I’m trying to clarify. You’re asking me on a date? Right?” He sported a teasing grin. You pursed your lips and turned away. “No, you can’t run away!” he declared. He took two large steps across the kitchen and placed a hand on either side of your chair. “Now tell me,” he said, adding your name for emphasis, “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Not if you’re gonna be a complete smart ass about it,” you mumbled. Gabriel leaned in closed, bumping his forehead against yours. You squeezed your eyes shut to avoid looking at him. “Yes,” you sighed, “Yes, I’m trying to ask you out on a date, Gabe. Are you happy now? Are you happy that you’ve made me admit this to you?”

He chuckled and the sound was right in your ear. You couldn’t help but blush. “I am, actually,” he finally answered. He leaned away from your seat to resume working on dinner. “I was thinking about asking you out myself, actually. But you beat me to the punch.”

You couldn’t have turned fast enough. “Excuse me?”

“I was planning on asking you out,” he repeated. He grinned as he twirled the knife between his fingers. “What? Is that so hard to imagine?”

“Only a little,” you said after a long moment. He returned to cooking, to focusing on something other than you at that moment, and you got a chance to stare at him. It made you think of the little things that had happened between the two of you that stood out.

There was one thing that wasn’t history. You remembered it had occurred almost a year into your friendship with the man. Weird things had started happening around town, things that made you question whether or not you wanted to leave your house after dark any more. But this night, you had an emergency, and you needed to trek down to the corner store for toilet tissue. No, it couldn’t wait until morning.

So you bundled up and set out into the winter night, commenting to yourself how bright it was. As you looked up, you realized why. The moon was high and almost full in the sky, the clouds stretching from one horizon to the other, but just thin enough to let the light of the moon travel down. The way the clouds were spread out? You thought the whole sky was the damn moon.

There was a howl, and you paused. Maybe someone was out walking their dog?

Still, you pulled your coat closer and picked up the pace. It was too late for you to be out by yourself, you knew that. So you tried to jog and cursed as your lungs started to burn. The corner store soon appeared and you ducked inside.

“What are ya doin’ out so late?” the clerk asked. He was a kid, about seventeen, that lived in the apartment below yours. You smiled at him and picked up the closest stock of toilet paper you could find. He shook his head. “Right. Duty calls, huh?” He snickered as his own joke. You rolled your eyes. As you fished some cash from your pocket, a hideous snarl cut through the silence. You both turned to the front door.

There was a dog. No, not a dog. Something much larger, almost past your waist, standing there, just watching the two of you. It paced to one end of the sidewalk, then the other, its eyes constantly flickering between yourself and the store clerk.

Speaking of, he swore, “The fuck is that?”

“Maybe it’s someone’s dog,” you offered. You clutched your toilet paper to your chest. You just wanted to get home now. All those reports started to flash through your mind. Wild animal attacks with no idea what kind of animal could have caused such damage; ripping people limb to limb, leaving little behind. This wasn’t good. This was the complete opposite of good, this was very, very bad.

“Look, I’ll call like…animal control. Or the cops. Or something,” the clerk said. He started to reach for the phone. The dog shot up, huge paws slamming so hard against the glass door that it shook. You jumped and backed up against the counter.

“Maybe you shouldn’t move,” you suggested.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the clerk lift his hands, like he was placating the dog. Well, it worked. The dog lowered its front paws to the ground and resumed its pacing.

“The fuck should we do?” the clerk asked.

You swallowed a lump in your throat. What could you do? Sit in the store until dawn? You had work in the morning, and this poor kid’s dad would be worried if his son wasn’t home after closing hours. Maybe book it? But that was out of the question, that dog was huge, it could probably catch you in about three or four paces. Wouldn’t even break a sweat. You were about to turn to ask the clerk if he had any ideas of his own when the door to the back of the store swung open.

Gabriel stood there, shoving the hood of his thick sweatshirt off his head. “What the ever loving fuck is that?” he asked.

The dog responded like you feared it would. It slammed its head into the door, then its paws, snarling and barking and scratching as if it wanted to tear through to you three. The glass cracked under the pressure.

“Bruh,” the clerk breathed, “I don’t think it likes you.”

“What else is new?” Gabriel asked. He looked up at the kid behind the elevated desk. “Look, easiest way is to get to the back and just kinda wait this out. It didn’t seem to know I was here until it saw me. Maybe it can’t smell us.” He seemed to hesitate. “Or something,” he added.

The clerk stared at him in disbelief. Gabe’s shoulders dropped. “Seriously, why would I lie to you about safety from a nasty fuckin’ dog?” he asked. The dog’s barking grew louder. You watched as it barred its teeth and slammed into the door again. Gabe turned away from the door, showing the dog his back. This just seemed to make the beast angrier. “Look will you just go? I’ll be right behind you, hand to God.” He even raised his hand for good measure. The clerk inched around the counter, watching as the dog lowered itself to the ground, snout now pulled in a permanent snarl.

He placed his raised hand on your hip and turned you towards the door. “Go. Right now,” he whispered in your ear. You were quick to follow the clerk to the door. When you looked back, Gabe was watch the dog, unmoving, as if testing it.

It was weird.

Gabriel set a plate of steaming food in front of you and brought you back to the present. “Where’d you go?” he asked softly. You watched him sink into the chair next to you before you shrugged.

“I dunno, honestly. I was just…do you remember that big dog? The one from the store?”

His shoulders tensed. “Yeah?”

“That’s what I was thinking about,” you said. You picked up your silverware with a shrug, “I dunno why. It just kinda came back to me.”

Gabriel shoveled a large bite in his mouth.

The rest of dinner went smoothly, albeit a bit awkward on your end, as you found yourself stuttering and blushing around the man more than you usually did. He helped you with dishes and, with a chaste kiss on the cheek, agreed to pick you up the following evening for something a little more romantic.

You couldn’t wait.

You spent the following day picking up the house, just in case. “Just in case what?” you kept asking, as if denying the urges you felt for the man, denying the situation you hoped the date would end in. You shook your head as you emptied a load of whites into the washer and pressed on. There was a knock on your apartment door. You frowned. “Just a second!” you called. You made sure to close the top of the washer before leaving it behind, just in case the load started and made a mess of the laundry room. Again. You hated the first time you cleaned it up and you did not want a repeat.

Standing on your toes, you struggled to look through the peep hole of your door. Strange, you thought, you couldn’t see anyone standing there. As you pulled away, the knock came again. You scrunched your mouth up in confusion. Hesitantly, you unlocked the door.

It swung inward. Before you could scream, something hit you hard in the face. You were out.

It was quiet when you came to, and dark. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly where you were but, well, you knew you weren't where you should have been. There was a rot in the humid air that made you gag. You rolled onto your side, regret shooting through you in the form of a few broken ribs. Someone appeared in your peripheral.

"Looks like they're awake." The voice was distant. You thought – hoped – you were slipping back into unconsciousness. It couldn’t possibly be coming from so far away, right? Instead, a boot stomped on the ground in front of your face and made you jump. Someone dragged you to your feet.

"Well it's about time," he drawled. This was a different voice, a man, who spoke through a mangled set of teeth in a crooked jaw. You swallowed the bile that had climbed up your throat from the smell of the building. "So what are you to him, eh? Pack mate?” he asked. “Lover?” he dragged the word out like a tease. It earned some amused chuckles from various dark corners of the room. The word physically rolled over your face with the stench of his breath. The bile threatened to bring what little you had had to eat that day with it.

You swallowed it down and released a gasping breath. "What?" you croaked. What were they talking about? Pack mate? Your head spun with more than confusion and a possible concussion. How hard had you fit the floor? The man holding you leaned down until his nose - could you even call it a nose because, honestly, it looked more like a snout - was right in your face. His breath smelled even worse up close and personal, to the point that you imagined your nose hairs wilting away.

"Pack mate," he growled out, "Or lover?" He was not amused with the silence that followed.

You struggled to think. Who could he be talking about that ‘pack mate’ actually made sense? “What do you mean by pack mate?” you whispered. Your head throbbed, your nose hurt. All of the pain that you hadn’t been aware before was starting to seep into your body. Gods, couldn’t they just knock you out again? At least you weren’t feeling any pain when you were unconscious. Or fielding really weird questions from an equally weird looking man and his band of merry misfits. “What do you mean by pack mate?” you asked again. Your voice was stronger this time, albeit a little hoarse. It felt like someone had stuffed cotton down your throat.

The man that had picked you up dropped you just as quickly. You crumbled to the floor, head spinning as pinpricks of light started to shoot across your vision. Great. Just what you needed. A migraine on top of all this nonsense.

“What do you mean by pack mate?” the man parroted. Someone made a confused sound. “Are they for real?” he asked the room. There was a hint of incredulous laughter to his voice. Someone snorted further in the room and the sound echoed.

Someone else stepped up, someone lighter, whose footsteps you couldn’t hear until they were right behind you. They kneeled down over your body and took a deep, long breath in. “Yeah, I’m not smellin’ him on them,” they said.

“We’re not fuckin’ nose blind, ya moron,” the first man said. He rolled you onto your back with his foot and roughly took your chin between his fingers. “Just means he hasn’t taken them to bed yet. But they could be pack mate.”

“But they don’t smell—”

“Do you smell like me, shit stain?!” the first man snapped. The lighter one clicked his jaw together. Your teeth hurt just from the sound. “That’s what I fuckin’ thought.” He looked away from you and dropped your chin.

Your head bounced against the ground. You squeezed your eyes shut. “Can someone just knock me the fuck out again? Please and thank you?” you muttered. The one who had stood above you snickered.

“Hey, they’re pretty funny boss,” he said, “Can we keep ‘em if Reyes don’t come for them?”

It was like the engine in your mind finally turned over. You opened your eyes, squinting up at the lanky man above you. Reyes? As in Gabriel Reyes? What did these guys have to do with him?

“Reyes is gonna fuckin’ come for them, you taint fuck,” Boss Man swore. He patted his pockets and pulled out a beat up carton of cigarettes, one of which he placed between his lips. He didn’t light it. “I ‘member seein’ them together at that store. Reyes couldn’t do shit witha coupla mundane shit stains there, but he was sure scentin’ up the place real good. Markin’ his territory, so to speak,” He nudged your shoulder again, grinning as you locked eyes with him. “And this nice piecea ass was right by his side. They gotta mean somethin’ to him. ‘Specially if he went all that way to pluck them out a fuckin’ corner store.”

You ran your dry tongue over your lips. “What are you talking about?” you asked. It wasn’t the best you could do, but your voice was sounding more like yourself and less like a desert ghost.

Boss Man crouched in front of you, knees cracking at the adjustment, until he planted his butt on the ground. The other men followed suit. Counting the boss, you heard about three others sit down. “We’re talkin’,” he said, a nasty grin splitting his snout in two. You felt the blood drain from your face. There was one set of human teeth in the front of his mouth, and another set of sharper, more ferocious teeth hanging down from his gums above them. “Bonafide shape shifting werewolves,” he answered, “And that mother fuckin’ Alpha piece of shit Gabriel Reyes, that’s what.”

The incredulous laughter that burst from your lips couldn’t be helped. Boss Man’s grin fell and he glared at you.

“Werewolves?” you asked. The giggles started again. “Are you high? This isn’t Twilight o-o-or fucking True Blood okay? Werewolves don’t exist.”

The flat of his boot slammed into your stomach. You felt bile rise in your throat and turned away from him to spit it up. Well, he didn’t appreciate those comments.

“How about you respect yer betters?” he growled. He stood and motioned for the rest to follow. “It’s been a few hours. Thought you said he’d be here by now.”

Shit, your date with Gabe…

“Well, yeah, that’s what we thought—”

He had to realize you were missing by now.

“Then where the fuck is he?!”

Maybe they really are just out of their minds and he went to get the cops.

“Someone, go check outside. That blood shoulda led ‘im here by now.”

Almost as if on cue, the lights went out. You groaned. You did not want to be in a horror movie right now, honestly, you just wanted to go on a date with your attractive friend, was that too much to ask? Well, yeah, the universe didn’t even want you to be unconscious anymore so having a normal date for today must have been out of the question.

“¡Apagando las luces!” The voice echoed, smug, through the building. Someone else made a noise of disgust.

“Was that necessary? Honestly?” This voice had a bit of a drawl to it, not enough to say Deep South, but enough to say southern.

“What? Did I not just turn the lights off? Literally?” the first voice shot back.

“But a quip?”

“You two got us noticed,” said a third voice. This one had a thicker accent you couldn’t place, but you knew it wasn’t from the New Mexico region. None of the voices were Gabe.

The men stood and looked around, two using flash lights they had pulled from their jackets, the rest using their phones. Across the building was the strangest trio you had ever seen. One was a young Asian man, bright green hair styled back out of his face. Another was a shorter Mexican girl, her two toned hair braided over one shoulder. The third had the gaudiest belt buckle you had ever seen. You’d seen a picture of them together in Gabriel’s living room. His adopted kids. Jesse, Sombra, and Genji.

Holy shit.

Was he here?

“Who the fuck are you?” Boss Man drawled.

Sombra hooked her thumbs into the pockets of her light jacket. “We’re the first wave,” she answered.

Boss Man growled. His grip on the flashlight tightened. “Ta what?” he snapped.

Jesse tipped the brim of his cowboy hat down and motioned to the opposite side of the building. “To him,” he answered.

All of the men whirled. You twisted around to see Gabriel filling the doorway. Someone whistled for your attention. You looked back to the trio. They had crossed the room to kneel by your side. Genji had whistled. “You might want to look away for this,” he said. There was a snarl. You would have looked back to see what it was if Sombra hadn’t hauled you to your feet. Jesse scooped you onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry.

“And we’re outta here,” he cheered. Sombra led the way, weaving between boxes you hadn’t noticed, to a window high up in the wall. There were more snarls and the ripping of flesh. You tried to look, to see what was happening, but the angle that Jesse was carrying you at made it impossible.

Then there was the screaming.

Somba and Genji had climbed through the window first. Jesse set your feet on the ground. You took the chance to turn. Through the dark you were able to make out the faintest of shapes. Or, shape. A vaguely human and terrifyingly large shape. One that was ripping apart other vaguely human and terrifyingly large shapes as easily as one would rip clay apart. Jesse placed a hand on your head to help you through the window, gently telling you to ‘mind your head’ as you ducked under a broken pane. They steadied you as Jesse followed you out.

“Are you okay?!”

You were able to turn this time. Gabriel was rounding the corner of the building, a little worse for wear, but at least in one piece. Sombra clicked her tongue next to you. “You showed them what for, ‘ey, jefe?”

“You still have not explained to me what ‘heh-feh’ is, Sombra,” Genji said quietly. She patted his arm, mumbling about how they’d have to teach him some Spanish.

As they spoke, Gabriel had stalked towards you, hands reaching for you, but he stopped. Hesitated. Then, he rubbed his shoulder. “Let’s get you home,” he said softly. He held out an arm and you stepped into him.

It was like your energy drained out of you in that one step. Everything that had happened in the last twenty minutes zoomed through your head and formed into the solid, very real word of ‘werewolf’. Your vision tunneled. Gabriel was quick to scoop you into his arms. He smelled like sweat and trash rot. He must have fallen into it.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered in your ear. He nudged his chin against your cheek. You closed your eyes.

You weren’t? Appreciating? How much you time you were spending unconscious today? Of course, you didn’t know how much time you were actually out, only that you had been out of it twice and you couldn’t stand the thought of it? You opened your eyes to find yourself staring at your living room ceiling. Someone was cooking, and there was a conversation happening in your kitchen. It fell silent and, as quietly as they could, some people left your apartment. You sat up. Gabriel was hesitating by the door.

“Gabe?” you asked. He turned to you, a nervous smile on his face.

“Glad to see you’re up,” he stated. He padded over to you. “I’ve got somethin’ cookin’ for you, if you’re hungry.”

You mumbled a thank you and rubbed your face with a heavy sigh. “What time is it?” you asked.

“Just after midnight.”

Gods, at least six hours of your day were gone. What had happened during that time? You looked up at Gabe through your fingers. He had perched on the edge of your coffee table, running his hands through his hair. “There’s some explainin’ I gotta do,” he admitted.

You nodded in agreement. “A lot,” you emphasized.

His shoulders sagged. “Where should I start?” Gabe mumbled, more to himself than to you. He decided the beginning worked, after a sarcastic, mildly scalding comment from you. He told you had been born into a pack, that Jesse, Sombra, and Genji were strays from packs that had pushed them out. That, no, it doesn’t work by bites or scratches like the movies. At least, not that he’s ever seen or heard of. That he can control when he turns most of the time, but during the period of the full moon, it gets a little harder. It at least explained why he would be so scarce during those times. He even took a moment to explain that he was hesitant about asking you to dinner all because of what he was.

You stayed quiet.

He whispered your name. You looked up. “Ya gonna say anything?” he tried. You looked down at your hands. “I’m gonna take that as a no,” he mumbled. Gabriel relaxed back on your couch. You pulled your knees to your chest. “I’m sure you probably don’t want much to do with me at the moment.”

“I don’t really know what to say, actually,” you replied, “But I don’t know what I would do if you just left right now. Especially after all that.” He didn’t have to ask what ‘all that’ entailed. He lifted an arm from his side, motioning for you to come closer. You crawled along the couch to press into his side.

“Look,” he breathed, “I’m not…gonna ask you to take this all in one sitting. It’s a lot if you don’t know what’s going on.”

“That’s an understatement,” you commented. Gabriel looked down at you in amusement, a smile forming when he met your gaze. “But…”

He squeezed you against his side and pressed a soft kiss to your head. “But nothing,” he whispered. “I appreciate you even taking the time to listen to me. And not freak out.”

You slid your arms around his waist as comfortably as you could. “I think it helped that I didn’t see anything that happened,” you said into his chest. He squeezed you again. “Are you okay with staying the night?”

“You would have to kill me and drag my dead ass out to get me to leave this couch right now,” he declared. You laughed. He was being sweet. It was nice. “What, I’m serious,” Gabriel added. He looked down at you, his hand sliding up and down your back. “Are you doing okay?” he asked again.

You weren’t really sure how to answer. What was ‘okay’ at the moment? “I’m not sure,” you said after a long paused, “I’m not really sure I feel anything right now.”

Gabriel relaxed back into the arm of the couch, pulling you with him. “Yeah, I know the feeling,” he sighed. You looked up at him. “Okay, maybe not exactly.”

“Mhmm.”

“But, I know something similar…ish,” he said. He continued to rub your back. He started to tell you about old stories from his pack, one his mom had told him when he was a pup, but you couldn’t say that you heard them all. As his voice started to rumble in his chest, you started to drift off to sleep. You didn’t wake up until the late morning when someone knocked on your door. Both Gabriel and you jumped, but he was quicker to untangle himself from you and get to the door. He didn’t even look through the peep hole, just pulled it open.

“Why am I not surprised you stayed the night?” It was Jesse. He was dressed differently, more casually actually, and both Genji and Sombra stood behind him. Sombra was holding a bag, and Genji had one of those cardboard cup carriers that was filled with drinks. Gabriel rolled his eyes and stepped back.

“How about everyone stops bothering the old man, yeah?” Gabriel grumbled. Jesse led the way inside.

“But that’s not fun,” Sombra pointed out.

Genji held the cup carrier out to you, motioning to one that had your initials scribbled across the top. “Did he ask you to dinner yet?” he asked as you took the drink, “He was supposed to do that a while ago. I have a bet that he isn’t going to, but if he did, that’s okay too.”

You flushed at the statement and smiled around your straw. It was nice to have a conversation that was somewhat normal. It helped to get your mind off of what had happened.

Sombra cut in before you could answer, “They asked him out first. The other day.”

“How do you know?” Genji asked with a pout.

Sombra shrugged. “I’m good with my fingers,” she said as she wiggled them.

Behind you, Jesse groaned, “Reyes can’t keep good news off his twitter. Like some weird teenager or somethin.”

You laughed. Sombra and Genji joined you. Gabriel snagged the bag from Sombra, grumbling, “Didn’t I just say to stop bothering me?”

As they talked, Sombra nudged you. “I’m guessing you took it well enough,” she murmured, crossing her arms. Your smile fell and you stared at the top of your cup. “Maybe,” she added. She watched your face.

“It’s all just a little confusing to me,” you finally answered, “I just can’t believe that all of this was existing right under my nose.”

That got her to snort and look away, as if amused. “You’d be surprised at what all can exist under your nose,” she said. When she looked back at you, however, her expression fell. Those were not the right words to say. “I mean, there’s a lot out there,” she tried, “So you can’t know everything.”

“I know,” you mumbled. You sat back with your drink, sighing to yourself. It was a hard thing to process, the whole werewolf thing. But it made sense, in a way. If you thought back, Gabriel was never really available during the full moon (though, it was hard to really remember when the full moon was), and there were times during the month that you thought he was a little more aggressive and sensitive than normal. You had teased him about it more than a few times, but that never really got the reaction you were hoping for.

The thing you most thought about was that dog at the corner store, the huge one that was trying to force its way into the building. It was fine until Gabriel showed up. As fine as a huge dog trying to headbutt its way into a building can be. It must have had to do with the whole werewolf thing…maybe…

“He was scared, you know,” Sombra interrupted your thoughts, taking the seat next to you. “He showed up here and saw your door open. Called us for help. He was on the brink of tearing this place apart because he was frantic.” She took a long drink from her cup and turned to you. “Even if you’re just his friend? You mean a lot to him.” She gave you a grin that was all teeth and a little intimidating. “Don’t worry if you can’t deal with this. The supernatural? It ain’t for everyone.” She stood then, leaving you without letting you speak.

You watched Gabriel then. He was struggling to get the three of them out of your apartment, or at least towards the door so they could take the hint and leave. Jesse was being stubborn about it, but Genji was already waiting out in the hall with Sombra. When he got close enough, the two grabbed Jesse and hauled him out. Gabriel slammed the door shut behind them.

“That was more of an ordeal that I wanted,” he mumbled. He looked over at you and his shoulders hunched around his ears. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” you replied. You patted the seat next to you. “Come on. Tell me more about this whole thing. I wanna make sure I’m not missing any information about it.” He padded over and lowered himself to the couch with a soft ‘are you sure’ in your ear. You smiled up at him. “I’m sure.”

So he started. He carefully showed you the smallest things he could do, once you promised not to cringe. Though, that promise didn’t do much when his jaw popped to accommodate another set of teeth. You had shuddered, looked away, and covered your mouth.

“Ugh, it’s like when double jointed people do that thing with their arms!” you exclaimed. Gabe laughed at the comment. You felt sharper nails creep up and down your back in an attempt at comfort. You peeked over at him. The same old kissable face had returned. “No more doing that thing with your mouth,” you said. His eyebrows shot up and down at the suggestive implications of your words. Moving your cup into your other hand, you gently slugged his shoulder. “And don’t be dirty!” you cried.

Gabe howled with laughter. You couldn’t help the pout that followed. He tried to speak, wheezed, and tried again, “I’ll keep the innuendos to a minimum tonight.” The words sobered you up.

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, I mean…if it’s okay if I stay again,” he said. His laughter subsided. “I dunno whose pack those guys belonged to. But, it’d just make me feel better to know you’re okay. For sure.”

You leaned back into your couch, absently thinking about how you were wearing a spot into it, and sighed. “Generally, dinner comes before sleeping over,” you commented.

“Technically, this would be the second night I’ve slept over, so that ship has sailed,” he pointed out. He watched as your face contorted in frustration. Hesitantly, he reached out to brush his fingers over your cheek. “I’ll make an exception, though. Take you out tomorrow.”

“Oh you’ll make the exception, huh?” you teased. Your hands were tense around your cup as Gabriel moved closer to you. “It’s my place you’re staying at. Maybe I should be making the exception?”

He snorted and removed his hand.

You swore to yourself. Moment ruined. Way to go.

“Fine.” Clearing his throat, he placed his hand over his heart and closed his eyes. “Are you in agreement with the terms I have set out before you, my liege?” His voice had taken on an accent you couldn’t place but made you laugh. He lifted his hand to you, palm up, and you couldn’t help but notice that the sharp nails that had been there were now gone. He wanted to be human for you. Normal. All to make you more comfortable.

You placed your hand in his. “I believe I am, good sir,” you replied. He tugged you close.

#espresso shots #miloredboy #overwatch #gabriel reyes #gabriel reyes x reader #reaper #you can be the king but watch the que conquer

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zoenightstars · 7 years

Text

pjo musical: the rundown

so i went to see the lightning thief with @angelicomma yesterday and um. oKAY GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS LEMME TELL U ABOUT THIS MOTHER!FUCKIN! SHOW!!!! because it was SO GOOD this is just like. the short list of what i loved about it because oh my god

prepare for the longest post ever

the set was such an aesthetic? it was all very metallic like there was scaffolding and greek columns with graffiti on them? it was very chb and very nyc and overall a Blessing

every time they needed to show a different location they’d do it with the lights so like there were these lights lining the scaffolding that would change color ?? in the underworld they’d flash red, yellow and orange and were made to look like fire and near the ocean theyd be blue and if they were talking about trees itd be green and! if they wanted u to focus on a certain part of the scaffolding it’d be a different light color than any of the other parts which was rad af

the overhead lights were used really well too like when percy was singing about being the son of poseidon or when there was water the lights would be blue and when they were in the forest theyd be green

there is an entire song about how they hate new jersey and how they refuse to die in the garden state. know this

the show was very low budget like oh my god it was great

they didnt make some of their own props so sally walked in once with a trader joe’s bag and also the most important bag in the world (containing the master bolt) was a fucking jansport

their representation of water was just to attach toilet paper rolls to leaf blowers and turn the overhead lights blue like what even

they covered the first 4 rows in toilet paper at one point

also they fuckin deca-casted everyone except for percy (chris mccarrell, the light of my life actually he was so good)

jonathan raviv played chiron, auntie em, random chb girl in a bike helmet and braids (?), random tractor guy (?), a bus driver, a train conductor, hades, and poseidon and im probably missing someone. he had very distinctive characters for all of them not to mention horse puns

“the gods are kind of dicks”

medusa’s eyes were just light up swim goggles

sarah beth pfeifer, who probably has the best comic timing ive seen ever, played clarisse, katie gardner, a fucking squirrel?, mrs. dodds, lotus casino girl, random camper assistant to mr. d, and thalia

*chases annabeth down a flight of stairs with a sword while screaming*

“for their sixteenth birthdays my friends all got cars. I got a fern and a mason jar!”

“ARROWS ARE MADE WITH WOOD. I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN AN ACTIVITY THAT CONDONES VIOLENCE AGAINST OUR ARBOR BRETHREN!”

they had the most roles and they were GREAT

george salazar was such a wonderful grover and mr d oh man

mr d’s whole gag was he’d kick a chair when he got pissed which was hysterical bc the camper assistant would start pouting every time and he also wanted to turn percy into a dolphin

“grover, are you ever going to wear pants again?” “NOPE!”

his solo song was about thalia and how he couldnt save her talk about EMOTIONAL he cried

dam jokes

“we might have more drachmas if you didnt spend them on those DAM SNACKS” “HEY! IT WAS THE HOOVER DAM”

let me talk about. carrie compere for like multiple hot seconds bc GODDAMN GIRL CAN SANG

she was such a good sally. can she be my mom. she sang a song abt percy being special and wonderful and i got a lil teary

“you saved my life, percy. It’s time i learned how to live it.” cryin g

her silena was really funny? like very whiny but very funny.

“every time i bring a boy home, my mom’s there in her nightie [...] she steals my mascara and all my dates!”

she also played sort of charon? underworld guide in this awesome gold dress (she looked SO GOOD) who smacked grover’s goat ass (?????)

“you know, bringing people to the underworld isn’t my only job. I also have a band. wanna hear a demo?” “not really?” “sorry, i can’t hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF”

“We got everyone! we got kurt kobain, we got beethoven. any requests?” “um, do you have josh groban?” “we will.”

JAMES! HAYDEN ! RODRIGUEZ! was sO GOOD AS LUKE

THERE WAS A GOOD KID REPRISE AND I WAS SHOOKEN

“being a good kid gets you nowhere at all” bruh

they couldn’t have a scorpion onstage so luke just. fucking stabs percy in the back???

He was also a really funny ares and gabe!!

ok and my gal KRISTIN STOKES

fun fact abt me and kristin stokes ..... so we were walking in the same direction after stage door and so me and @angelicomma just walked with her....to the train.... she gave us dessert recs...... and talked about the show (she’s so salty about how rangey her big solo is but trust me she was so good on that song) and also waitress with us.... it was the best experience of all time she is so nice and cool and was wearing jurassic park leggings how rad is she oh my god

her annabeth? was awesome? she was witty and tough and aggressive and i was ABOUT IT

she called out sexism all the damn time

“annabeth, i get it. do you know how many schools i’ve been kicked out of?” “yeah, percy, but when boys mess up they get a second chance.”

“hey, annabeth, who’s your dad?” “he’s a history professor.” “i thought everyone’s dad was-” “a god? that’s my mom. sexist.”

longest yeah boi ever

the moment where she betrayed luke at the end??? YES GIRL

chris mccarrell was such a perfect percy i am elated

“Tartarus? LIKE THE FISH SAUCE???!!!?!?!”

*swings riptide like a lightsaber while making lightsaber noises*

*packages medusa’s head* “To Mount Olympus. Signed, Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase.” “the gods will think we’re impertinent!” “*winning smile* we are impertinent.”

*pouts* “i know how to hold a sword! like this!” annabeth corrects him and he swings it “oh wow actually that’s a lot easier”

in good kid he was like? running around the stage and climbing the scaffolding and shit? and i cried??? the no mom line was the WORST i wanted to actually scream and his voice is so pretty

and he was so shook by his own powers oh man

he was just. so good at the twelve year old thing it was fantastic he was all fidgety and Dramatic (tm) god bless

he loves sally so much!!! all the demigods were salty af abt their parents and he was just quietly singing like “my mom loves hugs and scary movies” and i just. screamed quietly

there were rlly cute percabeth moments too.

percy’s knocked tf out the first time annabeth meets him (she infiltrates his dream a lil) and he sings a lil song abt how she’s beautiful and stuff and he wakes up and she’s all “YOU DROOL IN YOUR SLEEP” shook

she shows up at capture the flag (percy hasnt officially met her yet) and he points at her and was just “gasps YOURE MY DREAM GIRL!” and annabeth side-eyes him hardcore and he goes “UM. THE GIRL. FROM MY DREAM.”

“the god is my mom. sexist.” “NO NO I LOVE GIRLS!” annabeth is shook yet again and percy panics and is like “I MEAN UM THEYRE VERY NICE”

percy gets serious side eye from luke

it’s great

when percy gets stabbed they almost kiss and then grover RUNS ONSTAGE “HEY! here’s your ambrosia percy” goddamn it was DRAMATIC

im definitely missing shit but oh boy it was so so good

i’d kill a man for that soundtrack

if you have the chance (and the money) it’s just. such an Experience and everything i could have ever dreamed of. the cast is great (and theyre all so freakin NICE s/o to kristin especially).

i’d highly recommend it!!! A+ 1000/10

#pjo musical #the lightning thief #the lightning thief musical #tlt musical #pjo #supremememeteme #annaveth #percyyoulittleshit #long post //#maya says stuff #angelicomma #it was AMAZING ahhhhh #BELIEVE IT OR NOT IM LEAVING THINGS OUT #yall reblog this. appreciate the fruits of my labor

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