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dhr-fics · 1 year

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Author: eilonwy

Aftermath (22KB - One Shot - PG-13) A snowstorm is magically transformative, shrouding the world in a silent, white cocoon. What might emerge in the aftermath?

The Arrangement (61KB - 7 Chapters - NC-17) Hermione proposes a unique quid pro quo to a most surprising choice of partner.

Baby Days (29KB - One Shot - NC-17) Draco and Hermione embark on a uniquely life-changing adventure together. Sequel to A Writer of Fictions

Baby Days 2: The Turning of the Wheel (355KB - 17 Chapters - NC-17) Draco and Hermione bring Rory home from the hospital, and now the real fun begins.

Behind Grey Eyes (71KB - 9 Chapters - PG-13) Eighteen years after the Battle of Hogwarts, one of its participants has returned to the school to get her life back on track, while another uses it as a place to hide from life.

Burning Bridges (61KB - 4 Chapters - R) "That was not in the job description!" This lament pretty much sums up Hermione's life in her current job. Little did she know, when she accepted the position, that she would end up being an on-call nanny/gal Friday/consultant/personal shopper/confidante for Draco Malfoy. In addition to being his solicitor, of course. Enough is enough, however. Something has to give.

The Challenge, or The Taming of the Skrewt (91KB - 5 Chapters - NC-17) A morality tale, Hogwarts-style.

Coming Home (66KB - 9 Chapters - R) Love is lovelier the second time around, so the old song goes. Hermione is counting on the truth of these time-honoured words. Written for Round Three of the Dramione Couples Remix on LJ. My chosen couple: Tracy Lord and C.K. Dexter Haven, from the 1940 romantic comedy classic, "The Philadelphia Story."

Dark Matter (104KB - 12 Chapters - R) Hermione has been hired to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a very valuable and potent magical artefact stolen from the Ministry's collection. The trail goes cold, until she crosses paths with someone who has managed an equally thorough disappearance from the wizarding world and who has just as powerful an interest in the artefact being recovered.

Dinner For Two (35KB - 3 Chapters - R) Annoyingly, Draco's dinner plans go unexpectedly awry. The aftermath is unexpected as well, but definitely interesting.

Dirty Little Secrets (52KB - One Shot - NC-17) A distasteful work assignment that neither Draco nor Hermione can get out of becomes far more than they bargained for.

Entanglements (45KB - 6 Chapters - R) Draco Malfoy, specialist in arcane spell work and a near-recluse since the end of the war, has been charged by the Ministry with investigating and putting a stop to a contagion that is gradually killing all life forms in the very old, magical forests of England. When he does not succeed, Hermione Granger, ancient-potions specialist at the Ministry, is sent to the Manor to work with him. Will they find the answers they need in time? Will they find them at all?

Epiphanies (24KB - One Shot - PG-13) It was a brief patch of time during sixth year, when all bets were off. But it changed everything. Written for the 2013 DramioneLove Valentine's Fest on LJ. My prompt: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou This story can definitely be read as a stand-alone, but it also works well as a follow-up to my story, "The Gift." It focuses on the two months immediately following the conclusion of that story.

Eye of the Beholder (13KB - One Shot - R) On late-night rounds, Prefect Hermione discovers a lot more in the chilly, old tower than she’d bargained for.

Fa La La Ad Infinitem (20KB - One Shot - PG-13) A very enterprising band of house-elves is on a mission.

Family Album (37KB - Incomplete - R) In this story, we'll be revisiting the young Malfoy family, whom we last saw at the birth of baby Kieran at the end of Baby Days 2: The Turning of the Wheel. Each visit will be a snapshot of a particular moment in their lives. In this first installment, Kieran has just turned two and big sister Rory is nearly four.

Fifteen Months (182KB - 15 Chapters - R) Draco has finally accepted the inescapable reality of the devastating, trauma-induced illness that has plagued him for years. Now he must deal with it, at last, for any chance at all of a healthy relationship with his young son. He must also find a way into the heart of the woman who now holds his. Note: This story is a "missing scenes" sequel to "Behind Grey Eyes." It explores the fifteen months between chapter eight and chapter nine (the epilogue) of "BGE." Thanks to two of my readers for the idea! If you haven't yet read "Behind Grey Eyes," please read that fic first. "Fifteen Months" will make much more sense if you do.

Frozen Hearts (17KB - One Shot - R) On a frigid December evening, warmth and comfort can be found in unexpected places.

The Gift (20KB - One Shot - PG-13) An assignment from Professor Snape just before the holidays sends Hermione into the woods to do research. Like it or not, she discovers that she has company.

Hex Before Sex (22KB - One Shot - NC-17) "Devious? Moi?" The smile deepened and became faintly wolfish. "I meant what I said yesterday, Granger. I've loads of project ideas to discuss with you. But why work in a stuffy office when we can be ever so much more..." He paused, a sly and undeniably lusty glint in his eye. "... comfortable right here?"

The Hidden Heart (35KB - One Shot - NC-17) A fairy tale retold...

The Hunger (97KB - 10 Chapters - NC-17) Written for the Dramione Couples Remix fest on LJ, which has just concluded. My chosen couple were Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.

Hydrotherapy (25KB - 2 Chapters - NC-17) Draco finds a trip to the showers after playing Quidditch... enlightening.

If the Spirit Is Willing (17KB - One Shot - PG-13) The Gryffindor Hallowe'en bash is a dismal failure– that is, until help arrives from an unexpected quarter...

If Wishes Were Horses: An Eighth-Year Tale (28KB - One Shot - NC-17) Wishes have a nasty habit of backfiring, as Draco discovers. And just deserts can be a bitch.

It Takes a Village (20KB - One Shot - PG-13) It takes two to tango, so they say. Unfortunately, Hermione has begun to realise that perhaps her partner will never be ready for the slow dance of genuine commitment.

The Legacy (80KB - 9 Chapters - R) When Draco finds himself partnered with Hermione Granger at work, he decides to make lemonade out of the obvious lemons and use the situation to impress his boss with his brilliance and expertise. Very suddenly, however, things take an unforeseen and dangerous turn, throwing their very lives into the balance.

Lesson and Absolution (8KB - One Shot - PG-13) Two short pieces written for Round Seven of the Dramione Awards' Special Challenge, in the drabble and flash fiction categories, respectively.

Lessons For the Heart (66KB - 4 Chapters - R) Hermione Granger is forced to take a new co-worker under her supervisory wing, one whose particular contributions to the company have the potential to boost profits considerably. Unfortunately, he is obnoxious, conceited, arrogant – and impossible to ignore.

Lovers and Liars (55KB - 3 Chapters - R) “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Hermione is determined never to make the same mistake again that she’d made once with Draco Malfoy. When he waltzes back into her life after a year’s absence, her resolve is put to the test.

The Magician's Tale (77KB - 5 Chapters - NC-17) A chance encounter in an exotic locale brings Draco and Hermione together after more than a decade to solve a complex and potentially dangerous mystery.

The Office Party (16KB - One Shot - PG-13) It has fallen to Hermione Granger to organise this year's office party, a thankless task at the best of times but made even more of a trial because of her assigned partner.

The Outcast (73KB - 7 Chapters - R) Draco and Hermione are work colleagues and also exes. She's ready for a major change that will take her out of the crazy work environment that has driven her life for too long. Draco's not ready to let her go.

Pas de Deux (84KB - 7 Chapters - NC-17) A simple class assignment poses a challenge and starts a small war!

Pearls After Swine (86KB - 9 Chapters - NC-17) Hermione's got an exciting new lead for her book, an important project that could significantly advance her career in the Ministry's Department of Magical Artefacts. She's been given the long-awaited green light to pursue that lead with some necessary research abroad. Unfortunately, her plans hit an unexpected snag at the last minute.

The Practice of Deceit (83KB - 5 Chapters - R) "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive..."

The Promise (8KB - One Shot - G) Could she still trust in an old vow?

Promises to Keep (19KB - One Shot - R) Yule has arrived and Draco finds himself celebrating alone.

Purveyor of Dreams (11KB - One Shot - PG-13) Hermione has a problem. The potential solution is just too absurd... isn't it?

Resting in the Tide Pools (9KB - One Shot - PG-13) At a brand-new juncture in life, there is sometimes the impulse to look back and take stock.

Saving Mr. Malfoy, or A Life in the Ruins (58KB - 2 Chapters - R) April in Paris sounds ideal for a holiday, just what Hermione needs. Her itinerary on paper is neat and tidy, organised, and well rounded; the reality turns out to be quite another thing.

Second Chapter (313KB - 20 Chapters - NC-17) Newlyweds Draco and Hermione leave their student days at Oxford behind and begin a new chapter of their life together– in London. *This story is the direct sequel to A Writer of Fictions. It picks up right where AWOF leaves off and covers the three years between the end of AWOF and the start of Baby Days.

Smitten (69KB - 5 Chapters - NC-17) The plan had seemed perfect. Foolproof, in fact. But Draco should have remembered what is so often said about the best-laid plans.

Solstice Magick (20KB - One Shot - NC-17) A potions assignment on the eve of the Winter Solstice sends the sixth-years into the Forbidden Forest. What strange, arcane magic will they find there?

Storm (9KB - One Shot - PG-13) Runner-up, Best Special Challenge Ficlet, Round Seven of the Dramione Awards. Participants were asked to choose a prompt from a list of quotes whose theme was "Celebrate the little things."

Strange Weather (40KB - One Shot - NC-17) What happens when you mix a bunch of eighth-years, quite a lot of alcohol, and a game of unusually high-stakes wizarding poker…

The Thing About Biscuits (20KB - One Shot - R) Hermione and Draco discover that the road to the heart can begin with something as ordinary as biscuits.

The Thing About Biscuits: Epilogue (11KB - One Shot - G) Hermione and Draco discover that the road to the heart can begin with something as ordinary as biscuits.

Unfenced Fire (48KB - One Shot - NC-17) The discovery of an ancient and very powerful incantation sets Hermione on a rather surprising journey of self-discovery – and she's got company.

The Visitor (KB - One Shot - PG-13) Crookshanks has developed a fixation on a certain crusty and unreceptive upstairs neighbour.

Winter's Tale (12KB - One Shot - PG-13) In the darkest days of winter, a Solstice story of light and the beginnings of hope.

A Writer of Fictions (888KB - 52 Chapters - NC-17) A new term in a new place offers unexpected surprises and challenges.

#author: eilonwy #published: 2007

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annachum · 3 months

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Okay so the Pocket Princesses often wear their period costumes and their modern day outfits

Here's how I imagine the Pocket Princesses' Modern Day styles

. Snow White : Vintage vibes, cute attires with pretty dresses, heels and gloves ( style nods to Minnie Mouse, Audrey Hepburn, Lillian Bounds and Jackie Bouvier )

. Cinderella : Gorgeous soft romantic glam styles with often pastel shades ( style nods to Sue Storm, Grace Kelly and CZ Guest )

. Aurora : Romantic soft academia styles with flowing skirts and French Street styles ( style nods to Brigitte Bardot and Serena Van Der Woodsen )

. Ariel : Ocean core cute and trendy styles, often with sneakers ( style nods to Ginny Weasley, Phoebe Buffay from Friends, and Cher Horowitz )

. Belle : Preppy academia with French style cuts ( style nods to Hermione Granger, Gwen Stacy and Charlotte York )

. Jasmine : Absolutely DRIPPING in Arabian/Indian heiress styles ( style nods to Layla El Faouly, Aishwarya Rai and Princess Fawzia of Egypt )

. Mulan : Edgy/punk Chinese Street fashion with beanies and sneakers ( style nods to Katy Chen and Melinda May )

. Pocahontas : KILLING it with Powhatan inspired Street style, with pattern cloaks and floral pants ( basically more of boho chic style )

. Tiana : A mix of vintage cuts and more modern cuts, with often statement accessories and bold dresses ( style nods to Coretta Scot, Hilary Banks from Fresh Prince, and also Liz Allen from MCU )

. Raya : Athleisure chic style with Southeast Asian style elements, and got gold statement accessories

. Elsa : Classy, ladylike styles fit for a real queen, with often furs and capes ( style nods to Greta Garbo, Kate Middleton and Fleur Delacour )

. Anna : Warm, vibrant shades with trendy girly fashions ( style nods to Mary Jane Watson and Fran Fine from The Nanny )

. Rapunzel : Eclectic colorful styles with often floral accessories ( style nods to Luna Lovegood and Laura Vlahos- Barton )

. Moana : Polynesian ocean core effortless, trendy styles, often with flowing pants and statement earrings

. Asha : Cute, trendy and girly style pieces with often bold colors ( style nods to Ashley Banks from Fresh Prince, Anita from West Side Story, and Vanessa from In the Heights )

. Merida : Grunge/edgy styles with often scrunchies and sneakers ( style nods to Cherri Bomb and Loona from Hellaverse )

#pocket princesses #disney princesses

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fool-of-a-took1 · 1 year

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I will now share my list of the worst ships I’ve seen because wtf

1. Edmund Pevensie/Severus Snape

(Hehehe nooooo why noo)

1 Work

2. Draco Malfoy/Lucius Malfoy

(WHAT IS THIS?! INCEST!)

348 Works

3. Helen Parr | Elastigirl/Violet Parr

(INCEST)

13 Works

4. Dash Parr/Violet Parr

(Stop with the fucking incest)

9 Works

5. Bob Parr | Mr. Incredible/Violet Parr

(STOP IT)

9 Works

6. Dash Parr/Helen Parr | Elastigirl/Violet Parr

(FUCKING HELL)

4 Works

7. Simon Brown/Nanny McPhee

(No just no)

Not on ao3

8. Peter Pevensie/Susan Pevensie

(INCEST!! AGAIN!)

129 Works

9. Edmund Pevensie/Peter Pevensie

(INCEST!)

94 Works

10. Aziz/Ben/Doug/Evie/Jane/Jay/Mal/Carlos de Vil

(So many people)(actually don’t really have anything against it I just almost died trying to read the tag)

4 Works

11. Draco Malfoy/Fred Weasley

(Fuck no)

83 Works

12. Harry Potter/Severus Snape

(NOO absolutely NOT)

15,246 works (oh that’s bullshit)

13. Sirius Black/Charlie Weasley

(PEDOPHILIA! And just wrong generally)(idk, might not be pedophilia but it’s not right)

46 works

14. Hermione Granger/James Potter

(Dude wtf, they ship her with everyone)

271 works

15. Sirius Black/Severus Snape

(Nope nope ew ew ew!!)

2,126 works

16. Peggy Carter/Newt Scamander

(Not really bad ig but it’s interesting)(and how did that happen?)

1 work

17. Newt Scamander/Theseus Scamander

(Incest.. again)(people really like that for some reason)

1,155 works

18. Albus Dumbledore/Newt Scamander

(Okay first of all love Dumbledoor slander second of all NO!!)

184 works

19. Arthur Weasley/Ginny Weasley

(Aww come ooon stop it! Stop the incest! What is wrong with people?)

30 works

20. Hermione Granger/Rubeus Hagrid

(Wow they really do ship her with anyone)

21 works

21. Fang/Hermione Granger

(How? How did we get here? How did we make it worse?)

5 works (and it’s not even only one)

22. James Potter/Severus Snape

(NO NO NO JUST NOO)

929 works

23. Sirius Black/Lily Evans

(Yeah no not really my ballpark)(how did you even get it to this?)

75 works

24. Fenrir Greyback/Remus Lupin

(Definitely have not read this because I wanted an abusive relationship with Sirius swooping in later…)

122 works

25. Sirius Black/Tom Riddle

(… I’m not even gonna try)

30 works

26. Neville Longbottom/Severus Snape

(Why is this a thing?)(he is a teacher that fucking bullied him)

161 works

27. Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Severus Snape

(I’m sorry, is your brain fried?)

442 works

28. Sirius Black/Severus Snape

(Stop it, seriously)

2,126 works (okay I told myself not to comment on the amount but wtf is that?)

29. Regulus Black/Severus Snape

(ABSOLUTELY NOT!!)

483 works

30. Regulus Black/Sirius Black

(I mean I already knew blackcest was a thing but come ooon)

456 works

That’s not even all of it, I have more

(Also fyi I did know and expect the incest but I write it down because it’s bad and it’s a lot)

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wingsofescape · 7 months

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10 CHARACTERS / 10 FANDOMS / 10 TAGS

Tagged by the lovely @woahpip <3 <3 <3

Edward Elric - FMA (but specifically 03 Ed)

Fleabag - Fleabag

Katniss Everdeen - The Hunger Games

Fran Fine - The Nanny

Toothless - HTTYD

Hermione Granger - Harry Potter (I hate JKR with all my being but I'm running out of characters)

Riza Hawkeye - FMA manga (cheating a bit but who cares)

Todd - The Fox and the Hound

Firestar (Warrior Cats)

Beatrix Kiddo - Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

No pressur tagging @darkpersonapeace @wickedcriminal @alighted-willow @littlewitchbee and whoever I forget who wants to try this!

#tag games #about me #fma #man this was hard #my fma brainrot is so bad i forget there are other characters in this world

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siriusly-sapphic · 1 year

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@sapphicmicrofics | Prompt: Hormones | Pairing: Cissamione

Words: 100 Pairing: Hermione Granger/Narcissa Malfoy Warnings: Postpartum Depression AO3

Hermione carried their children. Narcissa had always wanted more but chose never to risk it again after so nearly losing herself in the aftermath of Draco’s birth. A hormonal issue, they’d called it, though a solution beyond time and a live-in nanny hadn’t been provided. For two years Narcissa had been terrified to hold her own son. Scared to be his mother. She’d done everything in her power to avoid it and she carried the guilt to this day. When the time came and she bought this up, Hermione decided to carry their children. Narcissa had never loved her more.

#cissamione #hermione granger #narcissa malfoy #hp femslash #harry potter #microfic #sapphicmicrofics

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janesstay · 1 year

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The new chapter 4 of the "Guardian" is already on ao3

Blushing under Delacour's gaze, Hermione turned away and smiled at Lyra.

- How are you doing?

"You're a fool, Granger. What else can I ask a small child?"

- Great, - the girl smiled and came closer, ran her small palm over Hermione's blouse. - Beautiful and so shiny.

- Do you like it? Hermione asked and sat down in front of the baby.

- Very, - Lyra turned in the direction of her father, but when she didn't see him, she frowned her eyebrows. "Where's Dad?"

Hermione looked around the corridor and saw Draco talking quietly with Fleur. She couldn't help but notice the man's frowning face and the nanny's worried face. An incomprehensible feeling filled the lungs of the brown-haired woman. Malfoy noticed Granger's gaze and, taking Delacour by the elbow, took her to the back of the hall, in order to avoid unnecessary ears.

"Papa is talking to Miss Delacour," she said to Lyra, seeing her sad little face. - He'll be here soon.

The little girl nodded and pulled Hermione into the center of the living room to her toys. Dolls and stuffed animals were sitting at a small children's table. There was a children's forfor tea set and a tray of cookies on it.

Lyra let go of Hermione's hand and took the white hare from the chair, put it on the big sofa. She took one of the cups and turned to Hermione:

- Will you have tea with me? I have cookies.

- I'm not sure what... - she turned around, Mr. Malfoy and Delacour are still gone. She didn't want to upset the child with a refusal, but her eyes just stuck together.

- Please? Lyra lowered her cup and sniffed.

- No, no, no, - Hermione crouched down in front of the child. - Just don't cry, please...

- No one wants to play with me, - Lyra put the cup on the table and walked away from the girl, she took that white hare from the sofa and walked towards the exit from the living room.

- Lyra... Wait... Sorry. Let's have some tea later?

The girl stopped and, sniffing, went to the sofa. She tilted her head and looked at Hermione from under her brows.

- Promise?

Hermione nodded and Malfoy came into the living room. Miss Delacour trotted after him.

- Lyra? - Draco frowned and came closer to his daughter, seeing tears on her face, he crouched down in front of her. - Why are you crying?

She put her arms around her father's neck and smiled at Hermione. - Miona promised to have tea with me. Only later.

Delacour stepped closer and lifted her chin. Coldly looking at the girl, she lingered her eyes on the shoes. Hermione looked down. Dirty sneakers. She felt a blush pass over her face and descend to her neck and below... It seemed to her that even her hair was dyed red. Fleur stood with her back to Hermione and her face to Mr. Malfoy.

- If you will allow me, I will escort your guest, - placing special emphasis on the word "guest", she smiled tightly and continued. "To her assigned room?"

- Of course, Fleur, - Draco picked up the child in his arms and stood up. - Give Hermione all the details.

"Very well, sir.

Malfoy, with his daughter in his arms, turned around and left through another door from the living room. Lyra waved to her and buried her face in her father's shoulder. Fleur turned to Hermione and snorted contemptuously.

- Please go ahead.

__________________________ Your room is located in the North Wing," Delacour began, "as are the bedrooms of Mr. Malfoy, his children and parents.

"And yours?"

Delacour stopped abruptly and slowly turned to Hermione. She swallowed and clutched the strap of her backpack.

- And mine, - Fleur grinned and approached the girl. "Miss Granger, I hope you understand that you won't be here long?" Mr. Malfoy will not always be a kind and caring likeness of the fairy godmother.

- I don't know what you mean...

- You don't need to understand. Let's move on.

Delacour left Hermione to her room and walked towards the stairs. Opening the door, the girl found herself in an incredibly large apartment. Throwing her backpack on a chair, she walked over to the bed and carefully sat down on it. The mattress was soft and so inviting that Hermione couldn't help herself. She kicked off her sneakers on the floor and climbed completely onto the bed. The mattress immediately adjusted to her body.

The weight of the day weighed heavily on Granger's soul. Realizing that she was now completely alone, she closed her eyes and gave herself a mental order to fall asleep. Which she did.

#guardian #dramione #Draco Malfoy #Hermione Granger #ao3 #fanfic

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headcanonsandmore · 2 years

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The Turtle Moves, Chapter One

Summary: In the bustling city of Ankh-Morpork, a murder has taken place. Not especially unusual, but such a case happens to be the first for a new recruit to the City Watch; a working-class boy from the Ramtops called Ron Weasley.

(This is my first time writing for Discworld characters and my last writing for HP characters, so hopefully I haven't messed up any characterisations too badly)

Tagging: @thefandompixie

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Read on FFN. Read on AO3.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night had always been a time to be afraid of.

It was ingrained into humanity, a distant memory from the time where a fire in a cave was the only safe harbour from the things that lurked beyond. Things with teeth and instincts that came canine-in-canine with them.

Ankh-Morpork at night was roughly similar. Except the creatures in the dark took your wallet as well.

It was that sort of cold winter night that encouraged all sane people to stay inside in their bed, cosy or otherwise. The sort of night that made you feel sorry for the poor buggers working out in it.

The care-taker at the prestigious Mrs Chuttington-Warbley’s Finishing School For Young Ladies* was not one of these poor buggers. In fact, he was of the opinion that any outdoor activity should only be conducted by stout men who’d been brought up for that sort of thing.

The care-taker did have a name but, after so many years of being referred to as “caretaker” by those around him, had just decided to accept the majority vote and go by that title instead. His first name was ‘care’, his surname was ‘taker’ and his middle name was ‘dash’. Which made him rather dull company at parties.

As the new academic year was due to start within the week, the care-taker was making his usual preparations around the school. The sort of things that people only complain about if they go wrong. Staircases without wormwood. Windows that didn’t creak. And doormats that didn’t complain when you stepped on them**.

He was just about to turn in for the night, when he heard a noise from within one of the teachers offices.

The care-taker sighed, put down his broom, and trudged over to the door in question.

‘Bloody rats get everywhere,’ he muttered, opening the door. ‘Oh, sorry, Ms Smith, I heard a noise and I wondered if it were… were…’

He trailed off, noticing that Ms Smith, the new form tutor, was lying on the ground. And that a small pool of red liquid was slowly growing around her.

‘Oh, dear…’ the care-taker said, taking off his hat. ‘Oh, dear-oh-dear…’

‘How rude of them!’

The spirit of Ms Smith was glaring over at the open window, her hands on her hips. She was the sort of practical-minded person who wasn’t impressed by people making themselves out to be smarter than they actually were. And that included the person who had just ended her life.

The care-taker couldn’t see her, of course. In fact, he turned on his heel and left the room.

IN MY VIEW, RUDENESS IS ONE WAY OF READING IT.

Ms Smith turned. A large, cloaked figure was stood nearby. Very thin sort of chap. Almost skeletal, in fact.

‘It’s the principle of the matter!’ She continued, fussing with the sleeve of her cardigan***. ‘I hadn’t finished my lesson plans; how can a substitute continue without me if they don’t know what curriculum I had laid out?’

USUALLY, replied the figure, PEOPLE DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THOSE THINGS IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

‘Not worry?’ Ms Smith repeated, as if offended by the very thought. ‘Well, maybe some people might, but I have my students to think about! I can’t have their education disrupted just because of a small thing like this.’

MS SMITH?

‘Yes, young man?’

ARE YOU, PERHAPS... AWARE THAT YOU ARE DEAD?

Ms Smith stared at Death.

‘Really?’

I'M AFRAID SO.

‘But I have so much to do! We have new students arriving within the week, and they’ll all need to sorted into classes and dormitories…’

Ms Smith’s form began to fade.

I'M SURE THAT WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF.

‘I really wish they’d just left it a week,’ Ms Smith continued. ‘There’s nothing I hate more than leaving without a proper goodbye.’

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I'M SURE YOUR STUDENTS WILL NOT BE OFFENDED.

Ms Smith smiled.

‘So… where do I go from here?’

Death couldn’t smile, but the eye sockets of his skull seem to round slightly. He reached out and took Ms Smiths’ hand.

ONWARDS.

* Known to its students by a variety of aliases including “the warblers”, “the finishers”, and -to a few of the more frank-minded girls- “a complete bloody waste of my time”.

** That last one was due to a rather unfortunate incident involving a travelling con-man, one very naïve housemaid and several sentient objects obtained “semi-legally” from within Unseen University. The care-taker would never forget the time he had stepped through the kitchen door, only to be told by the doormat that his left boot was smelling strongly of bird mess and would he kindly get his dirty great feet off my face-.

*** Well, technically it was the spirit of her cardigan, but it was a very good cardigan, after all.

For the moment, let us pan away from the sprawling streets of Ankh-Morpork (over which the sun was now dimly rising) and out over the Sto Plains, where the only things sprawling were the cabbages and their farmers who did not mind a) a strong smell of cabbages attached permanently to their person and b) having no friends.

A carriage was making steady progress down the long dirt road from the Ramtop mountains.

Or, at least, that was the case until two passengers decided that the carriage should stop by the side of the road so they could have a look around. For the seventeenth time.

‘C’mon, gel,’ replied the shorter of the two passengers in question, to a young redheaded girl sat on the seat opposite. ‘You go with Mistress Weatherwax while she looks for herbs.’

The girl let out a sigh, but followed the aforementioned Mistress Weatherwax out of the carriage.

The short lady then turned to the young man sat next to her.

‘Oh, don’t look so serious, lad!’

‘Sorry, nanny.’

She wasn’t actually his grandma, of course. Like many people in the small kingdom of Lacre and its surrounding countryside, Ron Weasley was (in some way he wasn’t sure how) related to Gytha Ogg. He had given up trying to understand the complicated familial relationships, vendettas and petty squabbles that went on within the Ogg clan. All that mattered was that Ron had far too many relatives for his own liking; all of them determined to elbow into each-others’ lives whether the person liked it or not.

Mercifully, Ron was -at most- a distant cousin of the Oggs. Somewhere on his mum’s side, through marriage, apparently. He never was much good at family history. Ron didn’t think he was good at much, to be honest. And his older twin brothers had encouraged this assessment at every opportunity.

Ron had been the odd-job man in his family for as long as he could remember (which, since he was sixteen, wasn’t that long, admittedly). He was the resident boot-maker, cook, baker, carpenter and snow-clearer.

He was also bitterly fed up with his lot.

His parents could tell. The youngest boy of seven children, Ron had always found it difficult to make his own place. To Fred and George, Ron’s place was “off the end of the bench”. Ron didn’t particularly like that place either, so he had asked his parents if he could do something that didn’t involve the jobs no-one else wanted to do at home.

Actually, Ron didn’t mind helping out. He often worked with his second-oldest brother Charlie with hauling carts up to Copperhead. Ron liked this because Charlie didn’t chuck wood chippings at his head like the twins did, and also because the dwarfs were a very straightforward sort of people.

Ron had also started to notice that, after several months of hauling carts up to the mine entrance, the twins had started to avoid chucking things at him. And that his shirts didn’t fit properly anymore.

His parents had seen that it was time for Ron to make his own way in the world, hopefully somewhere he wouldn’t be stuck with half a dozen brothers crowding his style.

So, Ron was being sent to join the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. A sensible profession, he had been told.

‘Now,’ Nanny Ogg said, grinning knowingly. ‘I heard you get a decent bit of money in the Watch. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve been spending half your pay packet over at the Guild of Seamstresses.’

‘Oh, you won’t need to worry, nanny,’ Ron replied. ‘I already know how to darn my socks.’

Nanny chuckled, although Ron wasn’t really sure why. But Ron could feel his mood improve already, which was a good sign. While he was looking forward to seeing the big city, he had also been a little nervous. After all, coming from such a small place as Lacre to city of over a million inhabitants was a big step.

Ginny, on the other hand, was not in such a good mood. She was being sent to a young ladies finishing school. Ron wasn’t entirely sure what a finishing school was, or why a place for young ladies would want Ginny, but he didn’t enquire further. He had spent most of his childhood learning from the twins that asking questions got wood chippings thrown at your head.

‘Oy, Esme!’ Nanny Ogg called out the window. ‘Let me have a talk with Ginny, will you?’

Nanny grinned again at Ron, before leaving the carriage. Ron instantly felt himself sit up straighter as Mistress Weatherwax climbed back into the carriage. Ron had a sneaking suspicion that Nanny was going to be talking to Ginny about the sort of potions that women back in Lancre only alluded to with hushed voices.

‘You packed everything you need, lad?’

‘Yes, Mistress Weatherwax,’ Ron replied, politely.

‘You aren’t going to ignore Ginerva when you’re in the Watch, are you?’

‘No, Mistress Weatherwax. She’s my sister; I’ll make sure to watch out for her.’

Like everyone in the Ramtops, Ron knew that being polite was very important to Mistress Weatherwax. It was a trait that she thought very highly of. Not for herself, but for everyone else to have, of course.

Mistress Weatherwax didn’t smile, but the sides of her mouth did raise slightly. Ron took this as a good sign.

‘I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I was a gel,’ Mistress Weatherwax said. ‘I’m sure Ginerva will too; she’s a bright one.’

Ron nodded.

He hadn’t been expecting for Mistress Weatherwax to give him any advice, but he did wonder whether what she had said was more for his benefit. After all, he knew that he didn’t want to do anything that his brothers had done. Or claimed not to have done, in the twins case.

‘C’mon,’ Nanny Ogg said, as she and Ginny climbed back into the coach. ‘Time to get going, driver!’

To the audible relief of the other passengers, the coach pulled away.

Ankh-Morpork was a sign for sore eyes. And sore ears too. Generally speaking, it was a place for soreness.

The city seemed to grip the surrounding area like a limpet. Ron had imagined wide towers and walls, elegant avenues made of marble. But Ankh-Morpork looked more like what a city spat out. Houses awkwardly cobbled together in a slapdash fashion, streets that seems to cling to the earth beneath like a limpet. A city that looked like it was constantly on guard, just in case someone tried to tell it that it was loitering.

The city seemed to thrive in the outdoors. On every street, people were jostling for position, as well as carts, animals and goodness-knew-what-else. And the smell…

Ginny gagged slightly.

‘Winds in the wrong direction,’ Nanny said, cheerfully. ‘That’s the river for you.’

Ron nodded, patting Ginny softly on the shoulder. She smiled queasily at him.

Eventually, the coach stopped and the two Weasleys followed their guides out of the coach and into a bustling open area. A dirty sign nearby labelled the place as ‘Sator Square’. Ron was already feeling wary, as if someone would make a ploy for his wallet at any moment. Which, given that he hadn’t paid the Thieves Guild rate for that financial year, was very accurate.

About ten minutes later, they managed to break through the crowds and crossed the Bridge of Size, passing across the river (Ginny and Ron making sure to breath only through their mouths and, when that failed, their ears) and into the more respectable Rimward side of the river. Ron really wasn’t sure what made it more respectable, but at least the air didn’t smell so bad.

The four of them headed across Hen and Chicken Field and into a smaller road, eventually coming to a stop outside a large gated building. Sure enough, a well-polished sign on the wall indicated this to be Mrs Chuttington-Warbley’s Finishing School For Young Ladies. A few girls of Ginny’s age were leaning out of windows and eyeing the younger redhead with slightly wary expressions.

‘Bye, Gin,’ Ron said, turning to his sister. ‘I’ll come and see you after my shift finishes tomorrow.’

Ginny smiled. She didn’t hug him, but Ron hadn’t expected her to. He knew she wanted to appear confident and cool in front of any other students that might be watching.

‘Thanks, Ron; see you later, then.’

Ron nodded, and waved as she walked in with Nanny Ogg, who had the letter written by Mrs Weasley addressed to the headmistress.

Feeling as awkward as he always did around Mistress Weatherwax, Ron stood in the road. Mistress Weatherwax didn’t say anything, but muttered something under her breath about ‘city people’.

A few minutes later, Nanny reappeared, grinning.

‘All settled in,’ she said, slapping Ron cheerfully on the arm. ‘C’mon, lad; let’s get you over to the Watch.’

Ron nodded, swallowing nervously.

He followed the two witches down a large avenue, passing several huge mansions and houses of the rich. There were less people here, and Ron got the distinct impression that, if he was ever caught here alone, he would have been asked to move along by some indignant butler*.

Eventually, this avenue ended and the two witches (for whom everyone dodged out of the way, including many who seemed surprised at having done so) veered left onto a large road that stretched back towards the river. Looking behind him, Ron could see that the road stretched all the way to the city wall in the far distance. Judging from the various cartloads of onions clattering along beside him, the road eventually led to Quirm**.

About ten minutes later, the witches and Ron emerged into another huge square, this one having the centrepiece of the Ankh-Morpork Opera House. Skirting around the impressive structure (albeit one which seemed to be missing parts of its roof), the two witches led Ron over to a building nearby. It wasn’t nearly as imposing, but it had a distinct earthiness to it. Like it had more important things to worry about than grandness.

“Watch House”

Ron swallowed, clutching the strap of his small satchel.

‘That’s the Watch house, lad,’ Nanny said, patting Ron cheerfully on the shoulder. ‘In you go.’

‘Oh, right…er…’ Ron said, turning to the two witches. ‘Thank you, Mrs Ogg and Mistress Weatherwax. For bringing me and Ginny down to the city. I really appreciate it.’

Mistress Weatherwax didn’t smile but nodded in reply. Nanny grinned, showing why Lacre was not known for its large index of dentists.

‘You’ll do fine, Ronnie,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry.’

Ron smiled, before turning and entering the Watch House.

He was immediately met by a mass of noise. Everywhere he looked, people were yelling and running back and forth. Representatives of every race on the Disc seemed to be represented, none in a “we are all together” way but instead in more of a “when does our bloody shift finish” situation.

Ron approached a set of desks. A dwarf was sat behind the moth-eaten wood, looking very bored as an irate vampire tried to submit a complaint.

‘I tell you, it’s a disvase,’ the vampire said, hotly. ‘Anyone vould think the place didn’t vant a vampire vorking there. I can work verever I vont!’

‘Yes,’ replied the dwarf. ‘But at Stronginthearm’s Garlic Wholesalers?’

‘That’s discrimination!’

‘What can I do you for, lad?’

Ron jumped slightly. The sergeant sat behind the desk next to the dwarf had a large red face and kind, albeit somewhat dim, eyes that stared over at the young redhead.

‘Er… Acting Constable Weasley,’ Ron said, quickly throwing up a salute. ‘Reporting for duty, sir!’

‘Ah, you’d be that lad down from the mountains,’ the sergeant replied, realisation dawning on his face. ‘Lacre, yes?’

‘Yessir!’

‘Okay… er-’

‘I’ll field this one, Fred.’

A captain had appeared behind the desk. He was enormously tall, and about as wide across the shoulders. He had short red hair and was wearing armour that Ron could see himself reflected in. Ron knew exactly who this was; he was a living legend back in the Ramtops.

‘Okay, Captain Carrot.’

Ron saluted again, feeling just as awkward as he had done the first time.

‘That’s alright, Acting Constable,’ Captain Carrot said, walking round the desk. ‘Please follow me this way for your orientation.’

Ron hurried after him up a staircase and into a room.

‘Tell me,’ the captain said, brightly as he gestured Ron towards a seat and taking the other. ‘How is shaft nine coming along in Copperhead?’

‘Er… I think they’ve almost completed it,’ Ron said, putting his satchel down next to him. ‘My brother Charlie was helping them with the final preparations earlier this week.’

‘Carrot, stop asking him about home.’

Ron felt the temperature of the room drop suddenly. A woman had entered through the door. She was short, with long blonde hair. He knew instinctively that this sergeant was not someone to be trifled with.

Ron swallowed, and stood up again, before saluting.

‘Constable, this is Sergeant Angua,’ Captain Carrot said, smiling.

‘Sergeant Angua is a werewolf, yeah?’

There was silence in the room for a second.

Ron felt a shiver go up his spine as Sergeant Angua turned to look at him. Bollocks. Why couldn’t he have kept his big mouth shut?

However, at that moment, Carrot leaned forward.

‘Care to explain how you noticed, Acting Constable?’

‘Er…’ Ron said, feeling very awkward. He had never felt all that comfortable talking about his thoughts. Generally because the twins usually made sure he felt uncomfortable after doing so. ‘The collar she wears; it’s a type of leather that can expand and retract easily under pressure without breaking, isn’t it? Perfect for having to change between forms on short notice.’

Angua stared at him.

‘Yes…’ she said. ‘That’s right. You’re very perceptive, constable.’

‘Thank you, Sergeant. Er… sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude.’

Carrot stared down at a piece of note paper that he had pulled from somewhere.

‘You say you’ve got experience with herbs?’

‘Er, yeah,’ Ron said, still feeling Sergeant Angua’s steely gaze on him. ‘I used to help Mistress Weatherwax with collecting things around the countryside.’

Carrot looked up and smiled at him.

‘In that case, I think our forensic division could use you very well. Report to Forensics, and ask for Cheery Littlebottom.’

‘Forensics is a couple of floors up,’ Angua continued. ‘In the old privy.’

Ron awkwardly saluted. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to doing this whenever he had to leave a room.

*This is what is often referred to a “class memory”. It doesn’t have much to do with class, although the people clamouring to use the whips often like to believe themselves to be men of it.

**Ankh-Morpork does use onions in many recipes, but all of them are labelled as “foreign food”, being just foreign enough for the rich to enjoy.

Ron headed up the rickety stairs, until he eventually began to smell something like an old latrine mixed with chemicals. He followed the corridor along, and slowed to a stop before a door labelled ‘Privy’. He was just about to knock when the door swung open.

‘GET DOWN!’

Ron got a brief flash of a bearded face, before he crashed backwards onto the floor. There was a colossal explosion.

Ron waited for the ringing in his ears to fade, before reopening his eyes.

There was now a dwarf lying on his chest.

‘Er…’ Ron said, saluting. ‘Acting Constable Weasley, reporting.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ said the dwarf, before climbing off Ron and helping him to his feet. ‘Experiment went a bit wrong.’

‘No problem,’ Ron replied, as they headed back inside the room. Which did indeed appear to be an out-of-order toilet. ‘Er… are you… Cheery Littlebottom?’

‘That’s me!’ Cheery said, grinning. Ron was suddenly aware that the dwarf was wearing lipstick and eyeliner. ‘I take it you’re the new recruit? I’m not bothered by the title, so you can just call me Cheery, if that’s okay with you?’

Cute.

Ron felt his cheeks flush.

‘S-sure,’ he said.

‘Now, I’m sure Captain Carrot’s explained a few things,’ Cheery said, not seeming to realise Ron’s flustered expression. She pulled a tube of paper out of a pocket on her belt. ‘Used to dealing with herbs in the mountains, by the sounds of it. That’s why you’ve been put with me. Just between us, I’ve never had to manage anyone before; forensics isn’t something most Watchmen know much about.’

‘I’ll do my best,’ Ron said.

Cheery smiled, patting him on the arm. Ron felt goosebumps raise up his arm.

‘So, how’s Copperhead doing nowadays?’ Cheery asked, climbing up and onto a rickety stool nearby. ‘I imagine you probably got grilled by Carrot about it; he’s always enquiring after news of the old place.’

‘Y-yeah,’ Ron replied, sitting down next to Cheery. ‘He’s a bit of a legend back home; we’re pretty caught up with what happens in Ankh-Morpork.’

‘I take it that’s why you didn’t say anything about me being a woman?’

Ron felt his face turn red. Copperhead dwarfs were generally a lot more progressive than some of their contemporaries over in Uberwald, but… well, Charlie had said that the subject of dwarf gender was something of a private matter still.

‘I… I don’t mind!’ he said, quickly. ‘Really! I think it’s brilliant!’

The last thing he wanted was his commanding officer seeing him as some backwards idiot from the countryside. Gender was something Ron had never really understood anyway, so who was he to say what was correct and what wasn’t? This was the century of the anchovy, after all. Or would be, once the astronomers had finally agreed.

‘That’s lovely of you to say; I appreciate it,’ Cheery replied, smiling. ‘Now, new recruits are scheduled to do patrols a few times a week during their orientation period. Get your bags unpacked in the dormitories upstairs and then head over to Uniforms; you need to receive your armour and helmet. I’ve got a few things to finish up here, but I’ll meet you downstairs in the main reception in twenty minutes ’

Ron nodded, before saluting and leaving.

There wasn’t anyone in the dormitory, but he found a bunk with ‘Weezely’ engraved above it*.

Ron packed his scant possessions (a change of clothes and a nightshirt) under the bed and headed downstairs to Uniforms. Mercifully, they had one in his size. It wasn’t very well polished and smelled vaguely of radishes, but Ron didn’t complain. Anything was better than wearing Percy’s old trousers.

Ron was just heading down to the main reception when he rounded a corner and walked straight into someone. Who promptly crashed to the floor.

‘Ow. Lad, you mind watching where you’re going?’

‘S-sorry!’ Ron exclaimed, hurrying forward and helping the man to his feet. He was short, with the bearing of someone who had previously had an awful diet but had finally started eating properly. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine, lad,’ said the man, wearily. ‘You new here, then?’

‘Er, yes,’ Ron said, before hurriedly saluting. ‘Acting Constable Weasley, sir!’

‘No need to salute,’ said the man, waving his hand. ‘I’m not a lord. You need to go on patrol, I take it? C’mon, I could do with a walk.’

‘But Cheery said-’

‘I’ll leave a note for her,’ said the sergeant, already writing a note and sending it into the pneumatic tubes that seemed to be used as a form of messaging within the Watch House. ‘Don’t worry, lad; I’ll show you the ropes.’

Ron followed the old sergeant out of the Watch house and into the sprawling city streets. Coming from the Ramtops, Ron still felt very shocked by the sights and sounds (not to mention smells) of a city that over a million inhabitants called “home”**.

They crossed Bronze Bridge and into Sheer Street, on the hubwards side of the river. This unfortunately meant that the air smelt of the river, but Ron was already finding that he was growing used to it.

‘No gagging, then?’

Ron shrugged.

‘And before your first day in the city is even finished?’ The old sergeant clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Nice going.’

‘Thank you, sir.’

‘Gotta learn to read the streets, son,’ said the sergeant, now lighting a horrible-smelling cigar and taking a deep draw on it. ‘It’s a dirty old slagheap, but we’re here to keep the peace.’

Ron nodded.

‘I’ll do my best, sir.’

‘That’s all any of us can do, lad. Well, that and learn to use your elbow in a fight.’

Ron nodded again.

‘Not a talkative one, are you.’

‘Sorry, sir.’

‘Where you from, lad?’

‘Lacre, sir.’

‘Huh,’ replied the sergeant. ‘That kingdom in the Ramtops you can spit across?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Don’t worry; Captain Carrot comes from those parts too. Funnily enough, you even look a bit like him.’

Ron nodded, not sure what to say.

As they continued through the streets, Ron became aware that many of the passers-by seemed to recognise the old sergeant, and a few even darted away from him as he passed. Must be a proper old Watchman, then.

‘Is… is Commander Vimes tough?’ Ron asked, hesitantly as the two of them slowed to a stop to stare out over the river. ‘To work for, I mean?’

The sergeant stared at Ron, drawing on his cigar in apparent thought.

‘Hmmm. Yeah, I guess he is, a bit. Mind, between you and me, he’s a bit of a miserable old bastard. But you’ll do fine. You’ve just got to get some experience under your belt.’

‘Thank you. I… I just don’t want to let everyone down.’

The sergeant smiled at him. It wasn’t a particularly cheerful smile, but Ron could tell the sentiment was positive.

‘Excuse me?’ came a voice from somewhere near Ron’s right elbow. He turned.

A girl was glaring up at him. She was roughly Ron’s age, and about half his height, with an enormous mane of bushy brown hair and rather large front teeth.

‘I’m very sorry, Miss…er…’

‘Granger,’ said the girl, quickly. ‘Listen, the Dwarf Bread Museum has been closed for most of the past two weeks; how am I supposed to organise an educational excursion if it never seems to be open anymore?’

Ron stared behind her. Sure enough, a sign labelled “Dwarf Bread Museum” pointed to a small, slightly musty looking building.

‘Miss Granger,’ Ron said, sighing. ‘Have you tried sending a Clacks to Captain Carrot? I believe he often looks after the place on his days off. I’m sure he’d been thrilled to help organise this excursion with you.’

‘I…’ Miss Granger replied, her mouth opening and shutting. ‘I… I didn’t think of that.’

‘Well, there you go.’

The bushy-haired young woman smiled, apologetically.

‘My apologies, I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m a student teacher and I need this exertion to be a success.’

‘No problem,’ Ron said, tapping the side of his helmet and feeling immensely glad that Charlie had once mentioned that fact about Captain Carrot. ‘Happy to help.’

‘Thank you, Constable… er…’

‘Weasley.’

The girl smiled shyly up at him.

‘Constable Weasley, then. Thank you very much.’

‘It’s what I’m here for, Miss Granger.’

The young woman smiled once more and walked away. Ron felt strangely cheerful all of a sudden.

He turned back, to find the old sergeant giving him a very knowing look. This particular look could have held multiple degrees and at least twelve school leaving certificates.

‘What?’ Ron said, his ears turning pink.

The old sergeant grinned.

‘Nothing, just admiring how well you diffused that situation. You really are sure this is your first day?’

‘Er, yeah-’

‘Unlicensed thief!’

The cry had come from just across the street, where a woman was pointing towards a figure who was darting into an alley, holding a handbag that was clearly not their own.

‘Sidney Pickens!’ Exclaimed the Sergeant, throwing the remainder of his cigar into the river***. ‘You get back here right now!’

The sergeant sprinted off after the thief, putting on a burst of speed that wouldn’t have seemed natural coming from a man his age. Ron was just about to follow, when a hand patted him on the arm.

It was Cheery.

‘I see you’ve met Commander Vimes,’ she said, smiling up at Ron. ‘He’s alright. Bit weird but alright. Don’t worry; he’ll catch up with Pickens. C’mon; we’ve had a clacks come through, we’re needed over in Hen and Chickens Field-Ron? Ron, whatever’s the matter?’

Ron’s mouth had fallen open. He was now staring in horror after where the older Watchman had sprinted off.

‘You’re telling me that was… Commander Sir Samuel Vimes?’

‘Yes,’ Cheery replied, looking concerned. ‘Why? What’s wrong?’

Ron shook his head.

It was his first day and he’d already let slip all his worries about joining the Watch to the leader of the entire bloody organisation. Oh, he was never going to live this down…

* Captain Carrot’s doing. Although a very good captain and able to recognise every resident of Ankh-Morpork by name and tax details, the finer points of spelling had always eluded him.

** Actually, most of them referred to it as “a stinking heap”, but it meant the same thing in the end.

*** For any environmentally-minded readers, please rest assured that the river suffered no ill-effects from this. While the cigar did eventually sink through the yellow crust covering the river Ankh, it was quickly dissolved by the lifeless miasma of grease, silt and faeces below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading, everyone! If you enjoyed it, please like, reblog and comment. If you want to be added to the tag list, please let me know.

#'the turtle moves'#crossover #discworld #discworld fanfiction #discworld fanfic #ron weasley #sam vimes #granny weatherwax #nanny ogg #ginny weasley #hermione granger #background romione #carrot ironfoundersson #angua von uberwald #fred colon #cheery littlebottom #cherie littlebottom

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hpsaffics · 2 years

Note

Do you have any recommendations for Bellamione or Cissamione that feature the pairings having kids?

Hey nonnie! Here are some recs from the HP SAFFICS (18+) Discord server members.

My Brightest Star by Yanana [Cissamione, E, 68k]

Narcissa is left with an unexpected surprise after a quick last fumble with her late husband. She desperately needs help because hormones and magic don't mix. Hermione is a Curse Breaker who needs rare and specific information for a case.

The World We Knew by Hustling_Rube93 [Bellamione, E, 173k, WIP]

Hermione half expected to pass out and wake up again on the floor in Malfoy Manor and find that this was all a dream.

Life Is Good by @siriusly-sapphic [Cissamione, G, 1k]

Narcissa surprises herself with the number of times she thinks that little sentence, surprises herself with how genuinely happy she is with the way her life turned out, even if she’s no longer surprised at all by the person who gave it to her. She's happy.

Black Jaguar by toujourspurbh [Bellamione, M, 97k]

Recently divorced, Bellatrix Black is looking for a helping hand whilst trying to juggle a young child and world famous business. Hermione Granger, star student at university, is looking to broaden her future horizon and teach English to the new generation. Nanny!Hermione.

Thanks for the ask! Let us know if you come across any other stories you love. You could also try looking in the WLW Library for recs 💖

#hp saffics #bellamione #cissamione #hp wlw #hp femslash #asked and answered

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dhr-ao3 · 7 months

Text

The Nanny Who Lived

The Nanny Who Lived https://ift.tt/hm964kx by Skyselisse Becoming parents was the greatest joy they could imagine. Scorpius, their tiny bundle of joy, was the sweetest baby the Wizarding World had ever seen, with his blonde little curls and his big mercury eyes. Right? WRONG. Parenthood was rough. Luckily, one Harry Potter decided to be The Greatest Friend Who Lived, and offered to be Scorpius' babysitter - Should Draco and Hermione ever need one. Well, what are the odds? ...Oh, sweet Merlin. What had he gotten himself into? Words: 1545, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Scorpius Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy's Owl, More to come - Character Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: You want fluff?! I'll give you fluff!, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Comedy, pasta pasta PASTA, Did I mention fluff?, Pregnancy, Parenthood, Come in and have a laugh :) via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/zWJ2NPk November 06, 2023 at 12:25AM

#IFTTT #Dramione #Draco x Hermione

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easily-infatuated23 · 4 years

Text

The Nanny

request: “Hello, could you write something where a few years after the death of his wife Draco hires a new nanny for Scorpius and ends up falling in love with her... could have anguish, but the ending would be happy? Please!My first language is not English I'm sorry if you got confused.” - @trouxa2x

a/n: i hope this is what you wanted! and your english is great don’t worry :) also-there is a phone call which is in italics and song lyrics for La Vie en Rose by Edith Piaf in italics

pairing: Draco Malfoy x Nanny!Reader

word count: 2.2k

warnings: mention of death for like a moment

summary: After the birth of his son and the death of his wife, Draco Malfoy needs a nanny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day Draco Malfoy’s son was born was the happiest and saddest day of his life. His loving wife Astoria had been diagnosed with a blood curse that killed her moments after Scorpius was born. His first breath, had been her last. Although he knew this would be the likely outcome, it was still crushing. Draco didn’t like to talk about his emotions and knew the only way to get over his wife’s death would be to burry himself in his work as a Healer. But with a baby, he couldn’t just shut out the world. He needed help. It was obvious he was struggling.

During the long process of making amends after the war, Draco had some how become close to the golden trio he had despised so much as a child. Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione had all come by to meet Scorpius and check in on Draco. He looked awful. The bags under his eyes were worse than during the war. “I have a friend who is looking for some work as a nanny, she’s great with kids, babies especially. I’ll get you her number” Hermione said, rummaging through her purse looking for her contacts book. Draco nodded slightly. He had considered getting a nanny but the idea of another woman acting motherly toward Scorpius made him feel sick. However, Draco politely took the number and thanked Hermione.

As the months continued on Draco found it easier to care for Scorpius. He had taken up a job as a consultant for the hospital so he could spend most of his time at home with his son. But as the months stretched into years, Draco grew depressed. Scorpius became fussier and fussier and the hospital was begging for him to come back as a full time Healer. “It’s time” Draco thought. He looked through the drawers of his desk until he found the phone number Hermione had given him nearly two years prior. He dialed the number, feeling anxious and unsure of exactly what to say.

“Hello?” a female voice answered.

“Hi um is this Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

“This is she, may I ask who is calling?”

“Oh yes um this is Draco Malfoy. I’m a friend of Hermione Gran- I mean Weasley’s.”

“Oh hello! I remember she mentioned a few years back you might be in need of a nanny.”

“Yes! Well, I had been handling it pretty well but now I am finding myself in need of some help so I can go back to work…”

“I see. Let me guess, those ‘terrible two’s’ are in full swing right about now” she chuckled.

“Yes exactly! I was wondering if you would consider interviewing to become a live-in nanny for my son Scorpius. I am not sure for how long or what I would pay you but-”

“Don’t worry about that right now,” she interrupted. “I’m sure we could conduct a formal interview as well but may I come over and just meet Scorpius first? I find that sometimes the baby will tell the parent whether or not the nanny is the right fit, even before an interview.”

“Yes of course. Can you come over around 11 am tomorrow?”

“Yes. See you then. Good day”

“Thank you, cheers”

He hung up the phone. He looked over at Scorpius sitting in his high chair. The baby gurgled and threw some cereal to the ground. Then seeing his cereal on the ground, Scorpius started to wail at an incredible volume. The interview couldn’t come soon enough. The next day at 11 am sharp, Y/N knocked on the door. When Draco opened it, she was met with the chaos that had become his daily life. The house was a mess and Scorpius was screaming. “Hi, welcome. Sorry about the mess” he stammered, showing her into the house. “Nice to meet you Mr. Malfoy” she replied cheerily. Seemingly unfazed, she walked into the living room, put down her purse, and sat down next to the screaming baby. Draco watched her as she began to rub the baby’s back and started to softly sing. The baby slowly began to quiet down until he was quiet enough for Draco to hear what Y/N was singing.

~Quand il me prend dans ses bras, qu’il me parle tout bas. Je vois la vie en rose. Il me dit des mots d’amour, des mots de tous les jours, et ça m'fait quelque chose….~

The baby began to smile as Y/N picked him up and cradled him, still singing.

~Il est entré dans mon cœur, une part de bonheur, dont je connais la cause. C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie, il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie. Et dès que je l’aperçois, alors je sens en moi, mon cœur qui bat..~

She then began to hum the tune more quietly and sway lightly. Scorpius’s eyes fluttered closed as he drifted to sleep. She smiled and looked up at his father. Draco was standing with his hand over his mouth, tears falling from his icy blue eyes. “Are you alright Mr. Malfoy?” she whispered. He nodded. He cleared his throat quietly before speaking. “La Vie en Rose was the song Astoria and I used for our first dance at our wedding”. “Oh I’m so sorry, if I had known I wouldn’t have…” He shook his head at her. “No it’s alright. I just… miss her”. She tilted her head sympathetically. “From what I’ve heard of her, she sounded lovely. I wish I could have met her.” Draco nodded and looked down at his shoes, trying to hold himself together.

“If you would tell me where his crib is I can put him down so we can start the formal interview. If you’d like” she said, knowing a subject change was what needed to occur. Draco nodded and gestured for her to follow him. Once Scorpius was in his crib, the adults went to the living room to discuss the particulars of the arrangement. Y/N told Draco about how she discovered her love for child care when she worked as a nanny for a short time while traveling in France. “When I came back to England, I worked for a few other Wizarding families including Hermione and Ron for a short time. Ron actually nick named me ‘the baby whisperer’” she said chuckling. “After what just happened, I’m inclined to believe him!” Draco replied. Without needing to consider it, Draco offered Y/N the job.

A year later Draco was still kicking himself daily for not hiring Y/N sooner. His life and mental health had improved drastically since she moved in. He was able to go back to working at the hospital full time and help people like he had always wanted. The two had developed a close friendship and Y/N became part of his family. The house felt almost foreign when she was gone. Though she was a live-in nanny, Draco still encouraged Y/N to take days off, and when she would go, Draco missed her terribly. He could tell Scorpius missed her too.

“You’re falling in love with her!” Hermione teased. She had come over to see Y/N and Draco and knew immediately. “What? No, she works for me. That would be highly inappropriate” he replied defensively. Hermione rolled her eyes. Draco looked across the room at Y/N. She was holding Scorpius near a window and was pointing at something and talking to him. Scorpius was giggling loudly and clapping his little chubby hands. Draco couldn’t help but smile. There was no doubt that he was fond of Y/N, but did he love her? She was great with Scorpius, she understood Draco’s feelings (sometimes better than he did), and she was beautiful. But her beauty wasn’t just external, she had a truly beautiful soul. Another six months went by before Draco was sure. He had fallen for Y/N. He hadn’t meant to fall for her, but she was easy to love. He tried not to act differently towards her but after the realization of his feelings, he couldn’t help it. It started with lingering glances and lead to going out of his way to have little moments of physical contact with her. Whether that was reaching for the same toy to give to Scorpius, or squeezing her hand to get her attention while Scorpius was sleeping. There was not a doubt in his mind about it. He loved her, whole heartedly.

Draco woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Scorpius crying. He rubbed his eyes and rolled out of bed. He walked down the hallway and into his son’s room, only to find that Y/N was already there. She was standing with her back to the door, rocking Scorpius and singing to him. Draco stood outside of the room, leaning on the door frame as he watched Y/N calm the crying child. He couldn’t help but smile at her. Eventually, she stopped singing and spoke to Scorpius. “You are so loved Scorpius. Your dad loves you, I love you, and your mama loves in all the way from heaven.” Draco continued to smile but in a more melancholy way. Y/N had always made a point of talking to Scorpius about his mother, even though she knew the baby didn’t understand what she said. Draco still found it difficult to talk about Astoria, but Y/N had always insisted that Scorpius know how much his mother loved him, even though she was gone. She rocked him a few more times before placing him back into his crib. When she turned to face the door she smiled at Draco. “I’ll see you again in an hour or so” she joked. She walked past him and exited the room, making her way down to the first floor. Draco watched her walk away before returning to his room. Scorpius didn’t cry again that night but still Draco couldn’t sleep. He decided to go down to the kitchen and fix himself a sandwich, besides, if he was awake he might as well do something to pass the time. As he made his way down the hall to the stairs, he noticed a light was on in the kitchen. He walked down and found Y/N sitting in the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen counter eating a bowl of pasta and reading a book. She looked up when she heard him enter the room. “Can’t sleep?” she asked. He chuckled and nodded. “Welcome to the club. Look I even saved you a seat!” she joked, gesturing at the chair next to her.

He rummaged through the pantry and complied his sandwich. He then joined her at the table. She put her book down and angled herself in his direction. “You seem different” she said. He looked down at his plate, feeling a pit in his throat. He gulped. “What do you mean?” he asked. “You just seem…I don’t know, happier recently. I can’t put my finger on it”. Did she know about his feelings? Was she trying to bait him into admitting it? He forced himself to look at her. Even at 4 in the morning she was beautiful. He took a deep breath and decided to answer honestly. “I recently decided that I’m ready to open myself up to the idea of love again. Astoria wouldn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life and something just told me its time” he said. Y/N smiled. “That’s really great Draco. I’m so happy for you”. She had a slight glimmer in her eye, she had to know. He eyed her a bit suspiciously. She laughed. “Ok ok don’t give me that look! Hermione might have mentioned to me that you had found someone and I had to ask! Whoever she is she’s a lucky girl” she turned back to her book.

Draco couldn’t believe what he heard. Y/N, the girl who some how knew him better than he knew himself, didn’t know he was in love with her! He smiled and rolled his eyes as he stood up and leaned his back against the counter, putting his hand over Y/N’s book. She looked up at him, some what puzzled. “Y/N, it’s you. I’ve fallen for you. Totally and completely” he said, hopefully sounding more courageous than he was feeling. Her jaw dropped. She couldn’t speak. She mouthed “me?” and pointed to herself. Draco’s smile widened and he nodded. She grinned. He cupped his hands around her cheeks and leaned in closely, so closely it was a wonder their eyelashes didn’t brush against each other. He waited for her to give him permission to close the gap between their bodies. “Kiss me” she whispered. He closed the gap and their lips touched, gently but still passionately. She stood up from her chair and rose to her tip toes as her hands played with his hair. The kissing became laughing as they came up for air. “I didn’t think it was possible to kiss someone and smile at the same time” Y/N said. “With you, I don’t think I’ll ever stop smiling”. There was a comfortable silence as they rested their foreheads against each other, enjoying being close. “I love you Y/N”. She looked up and into his eyes. “I love you too Draco”.

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