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nanfrost · 4 months

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A dive into Vertin's core aspect of her character and it's impact through the story: Part 1

This would be a character analysis with mix of speculations, headcannons and eventually just straight up heading to fanfiction levels territory, so if you were expecting a more cannon analysis, you have been warned.

With that said however, for those who are still interested, welcome to my insanity! This was something that I have been working with a friend of mine who you may or may not know as @acesw for the past week, and we are finally satisfied with it enough to post it! A lot of the ideas that are present in this came from them, while I offer my own interpretations and expanding on those very ideas through my writing. Without them, this analysis likely will have never come to fruition, so I can't be thankful enough for having them go on this journey with me, and also to just have as a good friend. Go check them out, they have really neat ideas and is a genuinely creative and artful person!

Now with that outta the way, time for the main event you are have been waiting for, our one and only beloved Timekeeper herself, and the emotional roller coaster that we have prepared for her. Please do enjoy.

Background context:

Vertin is an incredibly interesting and compelling character in many ways. Her ability to care for other people to a great extent whether she knows them for long or not. Her compassion for everyone around her, her empathy, her willingness to open her heart and listen to others when it matters. All these traits make up who Vertin is as a character and is a large part of why so many people fall in love with her and the story; to not only see more of her but to see where her story will go.

However, there is one part of her character that stands out the most to us, a core aspect of her character that makes up most, if not all her major decisions in the story up until this point, and will be the main subject of this entire analysis.

And that is Vertin's incredible sense of selflessness.

From going out of her way to save Regulus and not let her be forced to be taken in by the Foundation. Her attempts at getting through to Schneider, to understanding and showing her immense compassion even in the heat of moments. Choosing to stay behind in the Walden to fend off the Manus while the others escaped, and most crucial of all, her conscious decision to bury all her trauma inside herself to prevent others from worrying about her. Hell, even her entire motive and drive to seek the truth about the Storm and a way to stop it stems from her desire for freedom and the future of everyone.

All of this is in some way driven by Vertin's selfless nature, always prioritizing the sake of others above herself, to the point of risking her own life if it means she could protect those around her.

She's someone who will go out of her way to connect with others, even when knowing that the pain of losing them will never fade away, to give them comfort and help them if she can no matter what.

It is an incredibly beautiful part of what makes Vertin such a compelling, lovable, and admirable character and person, but at the same time, it also represents Vertin's biggest issue about herself.

That Vertin isn’t just selfless, she is selfless to a fault.

Vertin will prioritize saving everyone above herself, or rather, she would prioritize and save everyone but herself. For Vertin intrinsically has no sense of self-value nor self-worth; in other words, she has no self identity, for her entire life is valued based on other people, not herself. This can bring a lot of self-conflict, as well as possibly even harming others when reaching a point where every step taken is crucial.

And this serious of posts will detail and explore this aspect of her, its ramifications upon the character, and to not only show the ugliest and most painful parts of it, but to also show a path that Vertin might possibly take in the story to confront this part of herself somehow. In other words: welcome to Vertin's suffering builds character arc.

What can we tell from canon?

Where do we start seeing the decision making? We already start seeing them in the first 2 chapters. In summary:

Chapter 1 - Vertin continuously is left with decisions that she has to make on the fly, starting from deciding to try to see if Regulus can survive the storm and choosing to stay behind the Walden and risk getting harmed by the Manus Vindictae for the sake of her team as well as helping Schneider.

Chapter 2 - Vertin finds herself having to choose between keeping her silence and “joining” the Manus, and when she initially refuses, Arcana has her answer questions that bring unsatisfactory answers, leading her to harm Schneider. But when she does say she’ll join, she is first tasked and eventually manipulated to “kill” her.

Now, that’s all fine and dandy and does communicate that she is a very altruistic person and a selfless individual, but how is any of that bad or problematic? How does that correlate to her not having any sense of self-worth? Chapter 1’s ending is the first instance we get to see just how far Vertin’s selflessness goes, by her decision of staying behind to grant Sonetto and the others time to escape. Because of Vertin’s sacrificial play, Druvis and the majority of Manus didn’t pursue Sonetto's crew as aggressive as they would have, giving them time to properly make their runaway. Not only that, but both her and Schneider were kept alive, albeit captive.

There, Vertin’s selflessness is shown in a good light, being an admirable trait of hers that was crucial in progressing the story. This is the only instance in the story so far that has highlighted this trait of hers in a positive light, which is then contrasted by what happens in chapter 2.

Here, that aspect of hers that so far has been so boldly displayed as a good thing; saving Regulus and her team, is now flipped on its head, showing us that sometimes, being selfless simply isn't enough.

Vertin was put into a situation where she needed to make a choice, to either join Manus or reject their offer. When she chose the latter, Schneider was put into danger. And as each question Arcana asked piled on to her and the pressure started to rise further, Vertin went back on her words, choosing to stay with them.

This is so she could ensure Schneider’s survival, a selfless choice she makes for the sake of a person she had barely known. It was also here where Vertin’s naivety blinds her of the situation she was in.

That no matter what she chose, Schneider wasn't going to make it out of this.

Schneider had already betrayed them, but even before that, she never truly believed in them in the first place, only soaking up to them for her own personal goals. She was the one who lied to Manus about her identity, to pretend to play along with them until she bided her time, and now she was captured right in their hands.

It doesn’t take much for one to come to the conclusion that Schneider was a dead woman walking.

Yet, Vertin did not see this. For her view of the world even at this point was too naive, warped by her own perception and belief. A belief that by giving herself up, by throwing her own agency away will somehow lead to other people’s lives improving. That somehow, someway, by disregarding her own safety, the safety of others will be secured.

Vertin is living in a highly warped perception of the world, thinking and believing that if she alone suffers, no one else has to.

Green Oranges serves as a reality check to Vertin, albeit one that Vertin was unfortunately in too much emotional distress to properly realised.

However, it’s important to note that the game was rigged from the start. Regardless of what Vertin would have chosen, Schneider was going to “die” there either way. So although we witnessed the consequences of Vertin’s selfless choice, it would be unfair to call it her fault. So for now, this chapter only serves as a warning to Vertin.

That even if her selflessness is admirable and has paid the way to many good results, her complete lack of care for herself is not, and is leading her to believe in a false image of the world. A flaw that she will continue to neglect until it becomes far too late to remedy.

Chapter 3 and 4 are the harder ones to allocate, mostly because Vertin isn’t the main focus and rarely appears in the story at all except for flashbacks or dreams. But it still serves a very important role in giving us another facet of this character trait that Vertin exhibits.

That this selflessness of hers doesn’t just affect her, but also the relationships she has with the people around her, and specifically, her crew and Sonetto.

We were told that before Vertin was put to sleep, she had acted relatively the same as she always was, carrying out her duties until she was forced to be sedated and put into the coma we saw her at the start of Chapter 3. We knew that Vertin had set up plans in the form of Lilya and the bill she made with Madam Z, but this was something that wouldn’t be known by us or the other characters until much later.

For the entirety of her time spent before the events of 3 and 4, Vertin kept herself closed off, ensuring that she wouldn’t worry her new friends and even more so, Sonetto. But as a consequence, this results in nobody truly knowing what Vertin was thinking or trying to do prior to going comatose.

Sonetto, Vertin’s closest companion, someone who knows Vertin the longest and has been with her the most, wasn’t even privy to what Vertin’s plans were. She was left struggling to figure out what she should do to help Vertin, while also battling her own inner turmoil.

Druvis, Sotheby, Regulus, APPle, all of them were also victims of this. They had no idea what Vertin was planning, nor was even given any hints; they were left to their own devices and in turn, the influence of the Foundation. Vertin may have tried to help them by not getting them involved with the Foundation matters, but this ironically only led to them being drawn into the organisation because of their desire of wanting to help Vertin.

If Madam Z hadn’t come in to give Druvis the push she needed, Constantine likely would have gotten things to go her way. If it wasn’t for the collective efforts of Z and Vertin’s crew and so many others, Vertin likely wouldn’t have been freed.

These two chapters showcase the loyalty and trust that her friends have in Vertin, but it also highlights the issue of Vertin always trying to hide things away, to always keep herself emotionally closed. Even if she had good intentions, it still led to less than favourable outcomes that could have very well ended badly for all of them had things gone differently.

With that, we have gotten a rough understanding of Vertin’s character up until this point. Vertin’s selflessness can be an good thing to posses, but because of her disregard of her own well-being and her naive belief that only she needs to make sacrifices for the good of everyone, it is ultimately an unhealthy outlet for Vertin’s way of coping with her trauma. Not just internally, but externally as well.

From here on, I will be diving into my own personal headcanon of where the direction of the story might go, with the purpose of having Vertin’s character be pushed slowly towards a breaking point that will force her to confront this very part of herself, and perhaps, come out learning something from it all.

Speculation: Vertin’s breaking point

Before we get into it however, there is one thing that must be noted here so that the events that will transpire would make more sense.

That being how exactly could the story push Vertin’s character to her limit, when she herself is a naturally strong and composed person? It’s quite simple really, in fact, the answer was already given to us all the way back in Chapter 2.

Vertin’s one crucial weakness that even she might not even realise, that being her overwhelming compassion for those she cares about.

Throughout chapter 1 and 2, we have seen how Vertin deals with stress. How she is able to mentally process the situation around her in a logical and composed manner, allowing her to come to the best possible solution in a short time without letting her emotions run rampant.

And during her confrontation with Arcana, she continues to showcase her composure when faced with a difficult situation and choices. That is until Arcana began to shift her hostility towards Schneider, and we start to see the cracks forming at her surface.

Vertin is capable of dealing with high stress situations, however, when that situation involves other people, especially those she has come to know or care about, this mask of calmness starts to slip as she reveals how she truly feels.

That Vertin cares too much to see other people get hurt, knowing she can do something about it.

But this wasn’t enough, Vertin might be faltering, but she still tries to keep a calm level head, even when each question gets more and more personal for her. But it was okay, so long as she answered truthfully and picked their side, things will “somehow” work out.

This dream is then shattered by Arcana’s mission given to her; to kill the girl she had chosen to save by throwing her agency away.

Here, the mask falters even more as Vertin slips further into emotional distress. This is the rare time, and really one of the only times you get to see Vertin raise her voice, far from her monotone voice she always has. It was getting to her.

This is then exacerbated from her shooting Schneider. Even if it was not by choice, Vertin was still the one who pulled the trigger, the one that held the gun against Schneider, and the one that killed her; a girl who she had come to care a great deal about in such a short time.

Here, the mask completely falls as Vertin expresses just how much this breaks her heart. The only instance in the game where Vertin ever shed a tear for something or someone.

So it’s clear now that the biggest strength to her character that Vertin has; her love and compassion for others, is also her biggest weakness. A weakness that can be exploited and used to push Vertin past and even beyond her breaking point.

So let’s do just that.

The narrative will go like this: Vertin and her crew are tasked on an important mission of some kind, where they are given more control and permission to decide and do more so long as Vertin is the one making those choices. This puts Vertin into a position of power much higher than she usually assumes, which will first add a layer of stress over her as she carries out her mission.

Then, the story will sprinkle in a variety of different decisions that Vertin has to make, some big and some small. All of them have some kind of effect on the people around her or their situation. This further adds stress to the girl, now having to juggle the responsibilities of making the difficult choices and decisions that no one else can, because she was their leader, the one assigned to do the job.

At first, things do start to look better as her crew tries their best to assist her, and the situation starts to look more promising. It would be here where a wrench would be thrown, completely sending the whole mission into disarray.

Something completely unexpected occurs, causing chaos and mayhem to follow suit. Vertin tries to assert the situation and find a way to stabilise the people, her crew doing their best to help. However, in their task of ensuring the situation doesn’t derail any further, her crew subsequently split off from her, leaving the girl alone to her own devices.

Here, we begin the start of Vertin’s downfall.

Now without her crew or Sonetto’s help, Vertin is now forced into a situation where she needs to continuously make quick and decisive actions on the fly, all to ensure that things are kept as stable as possible. This leads to her going out and helping as many people as she can, trying to resolve as many issues as possible by herself so that others can focus on their safety.

However, not every situation can be resolved peacefully nor gracefully.

Gradually, Vertin is faced with more and more difficult choices, ones that require her to choose one side or the other with escalating stakes and tension. No matter what she chooses however, people still get hurt, lives are still put in danger. And Vertin, being the girl that she is, can’t bear to see it happen.

So she tries to find ways to choose both, to save both parties so long as she can help it. Even if it meant having to risk her own safety, Vertin cannot bear to choose one and let the others perish. She can’t allow that to happen.

So she gives herself up to the task of saving people. To abandon her own safety and subsequently her own agency in order to ensure that others will live. So that everyone can make it out even if she doesn’t.

If only she is the casualty in all this, it is the result that Vertin can accept, a result that Vertin can be at peace with.

What she doesn’t realise, or perhaps she isn’t willing to see is that she’s forcing herself into a corner. By placing so much emphasis on saving, by abandoning her own safety and subsequently her own position of power, Vertin has left a chain of command with no real leader, and the situation starts falling into chaos.

But she can’t see it, Vertin isn’t able to recognize this because she’s so intensely focused on the people around her who are suffering right that moment. Her composure is slipping, as she watches as people’s lives are being destroyed and perished rapidly before her eyes, and she can’t seem to make it better no matter how far she keeps going. This only furthers her careless act of selflessness, forgoing more and more of her own life until it was the last thing on her mind.

Eventually, things reach a boiling point where Vertin, alone, is faced with an obstacle that directly threatens her life and countless others. She now faces a choice, whether to prioritise her own safety over the lives of dozens of people, some strangers, some whose faces have grown familiar to her, or throw her life away again with the blinding hope that things will work out.

If she chooses to run, choose to save herself, Vertin can never live with herself. For a girl like her, who has made it her life to save anyone she can, and so running away can never be an option for her. So naturally, without a second thought, Vertin chooses to throw her life away in exchange of saving everyone’s lives.

A decision that will haunt the girl for the rest of her life.

By the time Vertin awakes, she finds that she is still alive, unscathed at that. But only a moment passes before Vertin notices the countless bodies of those that died, and the destruction that was wrought about around her. At first, she was confused, then the memories started to flood in.

The memories of the moment she chose to throw her life away, chose to give herself up for the sake of others. And in that instance, someone did the same for her, pushing her out of death’s way as they sacrificed themselves for her. Someone she personally knew and cared about.

In the end, Vertin faces the result of her sacrifice; nothing but lifeless corpses, an utter wasteland filled with bodies with no souls left in them; and she alone survives.

But she might as well be dead, life completely leaving her quickly dulling eyes, a single thought consuming her mind.

This was her fault.

She chose to give her life away, to disregard her own leadership, her role and her worth all for the sake of others.

Because she was too selfless, too kind to ever let herself bear the guilt and burden of letting innocent people die when she could have saved them. And she thought that by sacrificing herself, she can do just that.

She never accounted for the fact that someone would save her.

That someone would prioritise her life over countless others, to choose to sacrifice themselves for someone like her. To give their life for Vertin.

Vertin kneels, her arms and hands shaking as her eyes froze still. She can’t bear to look at the scene before her, her stomach rising to her chest.

For she has finally seen the reality of the world around her, finally acknowledges something she has willingly and selfishly ignored for all this time.

Vertin has always had some level of survivor's guilt within her. Starting from the breakaway incident, Vertin had likely always felt how unfair and cruel it was that only she got to live, when she was the one that was responsible for leading them here.

Sure, the kids went with her because they desired the same thing, but it was she who led them, she who gave them the spark of desire to want to venture out, and because of her, they were all gone.

Vertin has been carrying that guilt ever since, always masking it under layers and layers of self-imposed composure; a way to protect herself from the pain of the past, but as a way to stop people from getting too close to her, because she is afraid that something similar might happen again if that was the case. That if she were to let people know her, to get to care about her, that they too will suffer because of their involvements with her.

But Vertin was too kind, too good, too compassionate. Even when she emotionally distances herself from others, people still flock to her because they see just how kind she is.

Because even when she doesn’t show it, the girl cared enough to go out of her way to save them, so of course they would be grateful to her, of course they would feel immense gratitude and appreciation for her. Of course they would choose her as their leader and follow her.

And of course, one of them would throw their life away to save hers.

Vertin had abandoned all self-importance or self-value, believing that she, the lone survivor of a terrible tragedy, the one who shouldn’t have lived for the sins that she had committed; deserved no such thing. That someone like her should not dare to believe she had value, when all she had done was cause death to those she cared about. That was what she had believed in, what she had convinced herself to believe in.

Because of that, she ignored the signs. She ignored the warnings given to her by others, the warning that if she keeps going down this path of self-annihilation, that eventually she will be met with a fate much worse than death.

In her selfless attempt to save everyone and everything, she had selfishly taken away the people’s chance to save her. To save the girl who had suffered far too much and who had helped even more, even when she can’t see past her own warped perception of herself.

And now she is facing the consequences of that. She is now looking at the results of her blindness, the carnage that was her willful ignorance to herself and to others, and the irony of being the only one left alive through it all once more.

In the past, she was an unwilling player on a chess board designed for her to lose. Now, she was the girl who gave up her own King for the all her pieces, and in return, she lost everything.

Vertin facing this, her composure long since lost, finally breaks.

She slumps onto the floor, her body and mind utterly overwhelmed with every facet of emotions she could conjure within the darkest pit of her stomach, all while drenched in the blood of the people she was supposed to save.

The blood of people who knew her, who admired and respected her, who cared for her, who saw her as a friend, who saw her as family. All of them suffered at her hands, at her own selfish choice to forsake her life because she saw no other way; because she perceived that there was no other way.

And she can't bear all that guilt. All the pain and unprocessed trauma she had buried inside her now finally comes bubbling out of her, completely suffocating the girl. That lack of self-value that she harbours now replaced with unending resentment and pure unbridled self-hatred. Something she had always carried inside her that only got worse over time, and now, it finally had an excuse to be let out.

An existence that had done nothing but wrought pain and death to everyone it ever cared about. An existence that so readily throws its life away at the slightest of inconvenience, never caring about what others think about them, for they were too blinded in their own suicidal nature to ever think that they deserved to be cared about.

Vertin truly believes that she does not deserve to be cared about. She truly believes that she is the worst of the worst, an willfully ignorant murderer, so blinded by their own vision of the world that they refuse to see the reality as what it is. And now, they're paying their just price for it, a price they should have paid long ago.

Vertin knew better than anyone, that she was nothing but a murderer.

Part 2

#reverse 1999 #re1999 #r1999 #vertin #writing #speculation #borderline fanfiction #speculative fiction #angst #extreme angst #vertin's one long tiring day #oh Vertin my sweet rainy child #suffering builds so much character #oh god this is too much suffering for one sweet girl to go through #unhealthy way of coping with trauma #even more trauma #it gets dark very quickly #alternative timeline #headcannons

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whinlatter · 7 months

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HEYYY I really want you to reflect more on Ginny’s insecurity when it comes to her relationship with Harry. I’ve been thinking about it since your latest chapter. I don’t know how you can portray all these emotions tbh😭 it’s just way too perfect

ok the inbox is aflutter with questions along these lines so! with no spoilers for the rest of the fic, here's a little (big) lunch break meta on my read on the tensions and insecurities in harry and ginny's post-war relationship, and where harry and ginny are at at this point in beasts. thank you anon! 💞

spoilers for chapter 9 are below the cut!

in chapter nine, we see harry and ginny physically the closest they have been to each other in months, but beginning to discover the real distances between them at play in the current version of their relationship, and see the symptoms showing up in their interactions and (lack of) conversation. after the flashback, this chapter begins with ginny, back an awful time at school, waking up in her boyfriend’s bed, enjoying the luxury of time together and opportunities for physical intimacy. as @ashesandhackles pointed out in her very lovely comment, physical touch - particularly a very natural and instinctual expression of intimacy - is a defining feature of harry and ginny’s romantic relationship in the canon series. canon’s also full of examples of them communicating silently/non-verbally (their in-jokes, as early as PoA, but also the various moments that the two read each other’s minds or have entire interactions without having to say a word). these are obviously important, lovely things and something both of them value in their relationship. but, in this case, where ginny is hiding so much, they can quickly become things to hide behind. tellingly, ginny does not wake up thinking oh good now I have all this time to tell harry what’s up with me, and, over the course of the chapter, finds that secrets have a way of slipping out even if you try your very best to keep them under wraps.

why won't ginny open up?

without spoiling the rest of the fic (!) i think there are few things to bear in mind about why ginny isn't opening up to harry, and what insecurities she might have about the relationship that are preventing her from being honest about the hardships she's going through.

the first is that ginny, canonically, is an extremely guarded person who does rarely opens up, including - or especially - to harry. late canon is full of examples of harry seeking reassurance and emotional comfort in ginny, but examples of ginny doing the same in harry are few and far between. 'lucky you' is a reminder that ginny's own distressing experiences credential her as someone harry can seek reassurance and answers from; it is not a cry for reciprocal help or support. her mentioning riddle's diary in HBP when she finds out about the prince's book works similarly - though harry reassures her about it, her concern is for him, not herself. in the birthday kiss scene, only the 'there's the silver lining i've been looking for' line gives away that ginny has been going through emotional difficulty. in fact, it's ron who conveys that ginny has been 'really cut up' over the breakup. throughout the series, ginny consistently practices a kind of emotional selflessness and self-sufficiency. she understands how important she becomes as a source of comfort and safety for harry, and she is happy and proud to fill that role. she cares deeply about harry, she wants to meet his emotional needs, and she does it very well. she's canonically a fantastic liar, too, which is maybe my favourite characterisation note from her - while hermione and ron are both very easily emotionally read, ginny has an incredible poker face and can lie so well she can have literal dung on her hands and convince her own mother that it was crookshanks throwing dungbombs at the door of the order meeting. in canon, we see ginny crumble only once in her emotional stoic-ness in front of harry (in her bedroom after the birthday kiss - and even then she turns away and tries to hide it). we can speculate about why it is that ginny is like this (...), and i talk more about what this means for harry and ginny long term below. but for now suffice to say that ginny doesn't have a track record of divulging her emotional state and anxieties in very many people, including harry.

the second is that ginny is fiercely protective of harry and tries to shield him from pain, including her own. from CoS thru the rest of the series, ginny cares about shielding harry from criticism, distress, and emotional harm ('leave him alone!') it makes sense that, given ginny's interest in safeguarding harry's happiness and keeping her own sufferings private, she would also seek to protect him from information about herself that would upset him or make him feel worse when she recognises he's already going through a tough enough time. (harry himself practices this form of love in his parental relationship with sirius, eg. trying to retract 'my scar hurts' in GoF - sweet child).

the third - relatedly - is that ginny has begun to link her symptoms to her own wartime experiences, and to torture she endured under the carrows, the full extent of which hasn't been addressed at this point in the fic and which harry doesn't know. harry spends most of DH ignorant about what is happening at hogwarts - he worries for ginny post-sword-stealing, but he's reassured that she won't have been tortured because she only got sent into the forbidden forest. cue neville in the hog's head tunnel quite modestly revealing what really has happened at hogwarts, that the torture of children by way of the cruciatus curse has become a daily occurrence, and that the DA, ginny especially, have gone through a fresh hell. that harry crucioed amycus carrow for so much at spitting at mcgonagall tells us something about how harry might take the news of what actually went down at hogwarts during the war and especially what happened to ginny. in ginny's mind, the idea of strolling up to harry and banging on at length about the sufferings she has endured would be to lay more at his door than he deserves to have to worry about.

there's also this other point, the only issue between harry and ginny that is verbally addressed (but not resolved) in this chapter, which is ginny's lingering insecurities about her relationship with the trio, which also colours all of this. the conversation with harry and ginny in bed about harry staying for at the burrow christmas in ron and hermione’s absence is actually the first section i wrote for this chapter, and one of my favourite parts to write. it picks up this theme of ginny’s ambiguous relationship to The Trio as a unit, something i think a lot about and which i play with a bit in other writing (it comes out at a few points in orchards). i want to write a proper meta about this one day, but running thru this canon is a dynamic of ginny constantly being left out of the trio, from ‘go away ginny’ in PoA (‘oh, that’s nice!’) all the way thru DH. ginny only rarely explicitly complains about this exclusion, though it’s clear she has both noticed it and is irked by it. by the series’ end, this dynamic remains unresolved, even though ginny has become emotionally important to all three of the trio individually.

so why doesn't ginny get angrier about it? we know ginny is a stubborn person perfectly capable of sticking up for herself when being mistreated. that we would expect someone as outspoken and stubborn as she is to actually kick off many more times suggests not that ginny doesn't care, but that she has learned to actively fight her impulse to raise the issue and demand better for herself. my read is that the trio excluding her is, like harry's chosen one fate, just another thing ginny has had to (privately) be hurt by, but get her head around and accept because she recognises it’s part of a bigger picture and, by hbp, connected to a broader more serious quest that has something to do with the. (lots of hinny fics have ginny get mad at harry after the war about the break-up and for keeping her in the dark, and, sometimes, for keeping her out of the trio, but i think actually ginny is too far down the self-denying i-just-have-to-deal-with-this path to get mad without external stimulus. she hasn’t let herself be mad about this sort of thing for a long time, much as she has a right to). as a result, the ginny we see in beasts is a person who has become very self-denying, and who has spent a lot of time telling herself she shouldn’t be selfish or let her ego or pride get the better of her, and to accept certain lots in life for the greater good. would harry/ron/hermione be horrified if actually made to confront this? yes, i think so, absolutely! but they have done this to her and are yet to face the music on how they have excluded her so consistently throughout her teen years. it's a tension that absolutely still needs to be raised and resolved.

what will happen now harry knows something is up?

this chapter sees harry start to realise something's going on with ginny. he finds out ginny saw her ex, michael, about a health condition he's having that might be related to hogwarts last year, that ginny describes 'DA stuff'. luna later accidentally clues him onto the fact ginny, too, has had some mysterious health issues she hasn't raised with him, despite their near constant letter communication over the past four months (luna, your bluntness is extremely narratively convenient, thank you). ginny's blurted out question to harry - ‘you still want to stay, right?’ when finding out romione aren't spending much time at the burrow that christmas - echoes harry’s own at the start of the fic (‘you’ll write, right?’). it’s meant as the same act of a character blurting out a revealing question that speaks to a big insecurity and need they have. when harry calls her up on it before bed later that night, ginny tries to reassure him by showing him some of this mental work she’s done over the years to understand and accept what he + ron + hermione are to each other, reassuring him that she doesn’t want to intrude on that, and to go as far as to say that although he’s extremely welcome at the burrow for christmas, he doesn’t have to spend his christmas there if he’d rather be with his best mates. and what we have in harry’s response is him having to face up, for the first time, not just to the extent of ginny’s exclusion from his friend group, but how much work she has done to be at peace with her exclusion from parts of his life and particularly from his friend group which includes her own friend and brother. in her most insecure thoughts, ginny’s thinking oh god what if harry doesn’t want to be here with me as much as he does with ron and hermione; harry’s like, i’m just now realising the person lying next to me seems to think i want to leave to go hang out with my friends instead of spend christmas with her during this awful time for her family, seems to think i’m doing her a favour by staying, and seems to be hiding something from me that is connected to her own wellbeing.

what will harry's reaction be?

i will be keeping my cards reasonably close to my chest on this one, but i will say this... it was important for me to have two issues come up at the same time: harry working out ginny's keeping secrets while also finding out that she feels much more insecure about how important she is to him and how much she just wants him to be happy even at her own expense. i also wanted it to take place in a chapter that hammers home how much the weasleys, including ginny, are people grieving a great loss and struggling with it, harry a witness to ginny's attempts to hold her family together and make this time together special. of course harry's suspicious, and, likely, hurt. but he's also aware of what she and her family are going through, watching them all suffer extreme pain, and he's also just accidentally been informed of some of his own failings and shortcomings when it comes to ginny and her insecurities about her place in his life. that harry isn't immediately demanding answers and calling ginny out is a sign of him both processing dynamics years in the making, but it's also him reading the room. it would be extremely entitled to storm in and demand answers from ginny when he is seeing her and her family in such extreme distress - so instead he's keeping quiet for now, showing her wordless physical affection, and really deeping what's going on here.

harry and ginny will be facing the music very (very) soon. so far in the fic, the moments where ginny has come closest to giving the game away have been whenever harry and ginny are physically in the same place (st andrews, hogsmeade midnight field picnic). i wanted all the issues to start to come up this chapter now that harry and ginny are back together 24/7 and can't hide behind carefully chosen words in letters, and for their physical displays of intimacy and affection to start to stop working as well as strategies to paper over deeper conversations that need to be had. hence ginny waking up in harry’s bed with no nightmares after physical intimacy at the start of the chapter, but going back to the nightmares despite his proximity and physical displays of affection by the time we get to the chapter's end. their coping mechanisms are running out of road.

would harry be jealous of ginny telling michael?

harry (and ginny) are canonically a bit jealous, absolutely. but they're only really jealous when they're broken up and have more reasons to be insecure about their relationship (ginny with cho, harry with dean/krum - all are tensions that happen while they're broken up. when they're together, it's something they laugh about, eg. romilda and fleur). some of the responses to the fic (understandably) have focussed on oh my god ginny saw her ex. but i think ginny seeing her ex (which she doesn't deliberately keep from harry but realises after the fact she should tell him about, and is careful not to lie to him) is less likely to be upsetting to harry than the idea that ginny went and saw someone that she shared intense, traumatic experiences with that harry wasn’t a part of, and that, throughout DH, he’s in the dark about. that it's michael doesn't improve things, but it's the bigger context that makes the act more upsetting.

are harry and ginny doomed?

a lot of hinny critics cite various versions of the above dynamics as reasons why hinny would ultimately not make it long-term as a couple. i (obviously) disagree with that, because i believe these are two characters willing and able to make this relationship flourish and thrive. with that said, i don't think people writing harry and ginny as a pairing should ignore the existing dynamics within hinny as a relationship that would need to be unpacked and worked on as they rebuild their relationship as a foundation for a happy, healthy future together. this includes the fact that their relationship has been uneven in the level of mutual emotional support in canon, and full of cultivated omissions and silences. i'm not blaming harry (much) for this - i think harry has had, if not good reasons, then understandable reasons why, in the canon timeline, he gives ginny less emotional support than she gives him, not least because 1) he has (frankly) needed more (not to diminish ginny's post chamber trauma, but i think this is fair to say), 2) because ginny has great trouble accepting emotional support, and 3) because the arc of the later series is harry slowly accepting the role of the chosen one, deciding that he is not a normal person, and setting himself on a singular path to destruction stripped of ties to other people, even though he longs for the life of a normal person deep down. less dramatically, harry also ends the series a repressed 17 year old boy with some obliviousness issues and some growing up to do in ways that make him actually extremely typical of even emotionally healthy teenage boys (do i think every kind supportive man i now know in my late twenties was the best at emotional literacy and maturity at age 17? no no i do not. having met some of them at that time, i can you for a fact that they were, in fact, Not, and none of them were the subject of a terrible prophecy and all fought in precisely zero wars).

i believe harry wants a mutually supportive relationship with ginny. i believe him capable of having just that, and willing to do the work to build it. we know in canon he wants to build a family and instinctually practices reasonably healthy dynamics within one (in his familial relationship with sirius, it's often harry who sets the boundaries and healthy precedents). harry also often worries about ginny's wellbeing, physical and emotional, in his internal monologue, and sincerely wants to make her feel better about the awful things going on around them and that he is putting her through (see the birthday kiss scene - his instinct is to comfort her, and it's ron's rage that stops him). i'm always struck that in DH he starts to watch ginny on the map not when she might be in physical danger (eg. when she comes into contact with carrows/snape), but when she is in bed, alone with her thoughts/dreams/nightmares, and imagines himself reaching into her brain and hoping she's doing ok. in the battle he tries to reassure ginny in the thick of fighting even though he knows they are 'empty words'. across all his relationships more generally, he does show capacities for emotional awareness and generosity, consistently building loving, supportive connections with other characters throughout the series arc, and worrying particularly about the emotional state of the people he views as family (sirius chief among them).

when push comes to shove, harry potter, by the end of DH, is getting much better at knowing how to make his closest loved ones feel better. my favourite example being his perfect detonation of words and physical comfort to ron in the forest of dean - ron feels forgiven, loved and understood by harry so beautifully in that scene. i argue that he would take this hard-won work-in-progress trait and run with it when it comes to building his postwar relationship with ginny. but i think harry has a lot still to learn about how to communicate effectively, how to verbalise that concern and action it into meaningful emotional support and comfort, and at this point in beasts, he's perhaps beginning to realise how deficient he's been in this department. ginny, too, has a lot of work of her own to do. and it's my pleasure to try and figure out how they do that, and i'm grateful for the faith in me having a go at writing a version of it in this fic!

#beasts #TL;DR hinny grow old together #emphasis on the grow #full author's note to come but first too many words on harry and ginny's emotional constipation #hinny #meta #harry x ginny #ginny weasley #beasts spoilers #hinny meta

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rebouks · 5 months

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Having read/reread Somnium this past week/two-ish... I have some theories about Wyatt.

Every character we create has a bit of us, our experiences, and our biases. On that same note, I think every persona Wyatt has projected contained a bit of truth, but also a fair bit of fabrication. Of all the characters in Somnium, I think he had the worst childhood. It's really a miracle he's alive and not completely batshit crazy. And it's understandable why he learned to shut down emotions from a tiny age.

But Wyatt is AND isn't who we've seen. That nerdy, awkward doofus Courtney got to know, there a bit of truth there. But he exaggerated it for her. The absolute psycho that everyone shied away from... There's a bit of truth there, but I think also a fair amount of embellishment. If you're gonna be surrounded by homicidal thugs, then by all means, be the craziest one in the room. The one person that everyone is wary of. When he had his years alone in Mt. Komo (aka his purgatory), it was the first time his survival didn't depend on acting FOR someone else. He could just BE.

Wyatt says he isn't wired right and that he's emotionally faulty. But is he really as bad off as he thinks or is that what he's always been told? Obviously empathy is not his strong suit, but we've seen him: jealous/envious (others' relationships), selfless (letting Darien & Brynn go), appreciative (Oscar's help), petrified (to the point of throwing up), kind (to Ichiro, Mayo, and Brynn), and managed to (while sweating) mumble an ILY. All of which are normal emotions. He tried to make amends where he could. He adopted a cat ffs. A street cat that now has the poshest looking cat bed I've seen lol And the last time he choked someone was out of passion and (somewhat righteous) anger, not emotionless calculation.

I think who Wyatt was (and thought he was) is fading away, however damaged his past left him. I don't think he'll ever be a soft guy/touch to the world at large. Only a select few will be privy to that side if him. But I think his true nature is finally being revealed. Or am I reading him wrong? Enlighten me, Becca!

Ohhh you've read him remarkably well indeed! I truly love Wyatt's character, he's so complex and he really did have a nasty childhood.. on the surface I'm sure it looked like he had everything he ever wanted, but that's faaar from the truth.

I think he's only just realised that he's not actually a psychopath at all, he just kinda learnt how to be one as a coping mechanism when he was very young, so young that it almost seemed like reality in the end, even to other people! (There's a reason it seemed so genuine ⚆_⚆) I suppose in a way he lied to himself for so long it became reality. Ask Bruno.. he's still convinced he's a psycho! 😅

I rlly think smth shifted the moment he became suspicious of Oscar tho, and whilst at first he was intent on protecting the "family" and doing the "right" thing, the more he thought about it, the more he realised how done he was. No one listened to him, no one respected him, but he knew he was right! It was like he realised he'd never progressed from being a small child, pushed out of the way and ignored, even when they're begging to tell you something important! Arturo wasn't interested, so instead.. he had to pay. Wyatt didn't want to be loyal to him anymore! At the time, he didn't help Oscar n' co. just to do the right thing, he wanted to fuck his father over more than anything, so.. still pretty self-serving in a way but he's had a loooot of time to think since then and it's been so intriguing watching the slow shift in his mindset.

He's everything he's ever been, pretended to be and everything he never was, all bundled up into a ball that he buried deep inside; only when he was free did it all start to unravel.

I adore the examples of humanity you've picked up on tho, all those tiny hints we got that maybe he's not completely devoid of emotion after all... He's still Wyatt, but he's also Kaito too.. he's intelligent, he CAN be kind - to the right people, tho he definitely struggles with empathy - he's jealous, possessive, ambitious, confident, not confident at all 😆 he doesn't know, actually.. maybe we should check back in on him in a little while lmao

Hurray for the truly grey man!

Also.. I kinda started putting together a lil timeline of posts/moments that I thought were pivotal to his slow lil journey but this is long af as is so I'll work on that and post it separately 👀

#ranswers #ts4 #fib extras #fib asks #wyatt #oooooooooh #<333 #big love for this ask.. you're so on point with this omg #he's deffo our most damaged of goods #lmao #i think the second worst childhood award goes to cookie tho.. oof #also.. in case u didn't know but the last post was the end of this arc and i'm technically on a break rn!#doing a lot of setup behind the scenes tho u know how it is #👀#i wanna do a lil timeline of wyatt's journey tho cos it's INCHRESTING #and i wanna do a lil wrap up of this arc too #kinda busy atm tho so bear with #<3

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pepa-brainrot · 8 months

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Armida Peréz Madrigal!!

(To any of you who have seen the old ref, or even the first one- no you didn't. This is the only ref she's ever had ok)

Week one (part one) of the encanto oc appreciation event @encanto-extended-edition

More info about her below <3

Name: Armida Peréz Madrigal

Nicknames: Mida is most common, Bunny (Pepa and Félix), mi sol and mi cielos (Pepa), Pecas, Mimi (the kids when younger)

Birth date: February 18th 1902

Age: 48 (1950)

Height: 4 foot, 11

Armida is the type to be shy when first knowing her, but after she gets comfortable she becomes almost a completely different person. Due to her past she's not one to trust easily, but she's also not one to buy into rumors about someone- knowing all too well that something can seem one way on the surface, and be completely different in reality. But once you do gain her trust she's fiercely loyal. Sometimes a bit too much- as she's sometimes selfless to the point where it's unhealthy, she'd be willing to lay down her life for a loved one.

Her sense of humor becomes clearer once she becomes comfortable too, although it ranges from dry sarcastic humor to bad/cheesy puns (she and Félix can go back and forth for hours it seems) Sometimes her favorite thing to do is tell a shitty joke and watch her family's reaction. She seems sweet, but really can be a little shit if she's in the mood, Camilo gets it partly from her.

She has natural motherly instincts, although she struggles to conceive.

She works as a seamstress in the Encanto- having learned from her Tía when she was younger, she's become really good at sewing and embroidery (she's the one to teach Mirabel when the time comes, as a way to try and cheer they young girl up and take her mind off things after she didn't get a gift) It becomes one of her ways of helping the Encanto just like every other madrigal, which she's quite content with, she genuinely enjoys the work (although shes prone to overworking herself- especially given she already has trouble sleeping)

She knows a lot about space and the stars too- when she was growing up she often saw the stars as her only true friend- more so after her father died (she believed he was watching over her- and would talk to the stars at night like she was talking to him). Due to this she gained a special interest in space and the stories behind stars and constellations, and to this day she still has her very first book she ever owned on the subject. It's another thing that is special to her.

Has an affinity for nature. Like I said she spent a good part of her childhood alone, so she would sit in the grass and watch bugs or explore - and she found a love for nature. Something she really loves is birdwatching- doing it enough over the years that she knows a good amount about different types of birds and their behaviors. She really likes to collect bird feathers- just any ones that she finds she'll take home- even in the current day. She still very much likes taking nature walks- taking any of the kids who want to come along.

BONUS: info on Goose <3

Goose was a hen from Armida's old farm. One who had trouble hatching and ended up imprinting on her. Goose, to put it lightly, was a mence (hence the name Goose.) She hated almost everyone but armida and would let it known. She especially hated Félix. She lived a good 24 or so years before dying shortly after antonio was born.

#encanto oc appreciation #encanto oc event #encanto oc #strawberry art #encanto #art #pepa madrigal #felix madrigal #pepa x felix x oc #encanto x oc #armida madrigal

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per-aspera-ad-aporia · 1 year

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some thoughts after reading I Shall Wear Midnight

Discworld #38, by Terry Pratchett (spoilers ahead for it and the two preceding books A Hat Full of Sky and Wintersmith)

it's such a joy to see how Tiffany is growing, how things she found scary or impossible earlier come as second nature to her now. it's also immensely fun to see the Witches (and omg Ankh-Morpork characters!!!!) from her eyes. she's a very smart person, but her narrative eyes don't 'hide' anything from the reader (unlike Granny Weatherwax, cough cough) and we get to discover things along with her.

if i trusted pTerry's storytelling a little bit less, i might say i don't entirely understand his choice to set up the Tiffany/Roland pairing in the preceding book, Wintersmith, and to follow it up with this book, where they're shown as obviously poorly-matched. but i have to say i wholeheartedly agree with this. i lowkey wish the hinted pairing didn't happen at all in A Hat Full of Sky and Wintersmith, because i think Tiffany and Preston are excellently matched, for the following reasons:

relationships should be between equals, who respect each other; and i was willing to write off Roland’s immature behaviour, especially after his character growth in Wintersmith, but in this one he’s gone right back to pre-A Hat Full of Sky silly levels. Tiffany and Preston are on an equal footing on so many levels—young working people, smart and observant, and kind by being smart and observant which is just. the best kind of love.

towards the end of the book, when Preston exclaims to Tiffany:

i enviously thought ‘how come she gets to have someone that’s so unselfishly happy for her?’ because, of course, i successfully imprinted on Tiffany (although she’s much smarter, selflesser, and hardworkinger than i am) and how come she gets to have such people when i don’t. but then i realised: she does the same for him. she notices how smart she is and how unfortunate it is that he can’t do what he enjoys, and she helps him get the means to do it. and they both bond over being nerdy about beautiful words! the best kind of love!!!!

also, the other things that make pTerry the best writer ever: how there are no main characters (different books have recurring characters from different points of view, and we get to see how flawed and non-archetypally-flawless they are). how he turns tropes about women characters on their head (the Letitia & Tiffany dynamic, chef's kiss). how humanely and compassionately he writes about the worst kinds of people he can invent. how many opportunities for growth he gives them, and how he genuinely lets them grow. the joy of plot, indeed!!

i have six (6) unread Discworld books and one (1) unread Tiffany Aching/Witches book and i am nervous and happysad. i might just read the Aching book right now, although it's the "last" in the series. i devoutly hope pTerry doesn’t crash the Tiffany/Preston ship into an iceberg shaped like Tiffany, ahaha.

(PS: self-’plug’. i’m appreciating beautiful words myself, over here.)

#discworld #tiffany aching #i shall wear midnight #a hat full of sky #wintersmith #discworld witches #terry pratchett #gnu terry pratchett #paaa #fandom

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kimira-k · 9 months

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Haesol's Feeling on Yeonwoo

Heads up to anyone who's going to read this this is a very long post. ❤️

All right I was thinking about this for a while. And yesterday's discussion on whether Haesol really likes Yeonwoo really stirred up this topic more for me. Yesterday after the thread on Yeonwoo and Haesol having not kissed yet came up there was a topic in the comments about whether she really even liked him.

And for me I understand that she does like him but I needed to find a way to explain it. So I thought about it all day. (As you can tell I am very obsessed with this manhwa)

Here's a conclusion I came up with.

Haesol before Yeonwoo confesses to her pays attention to him. I mean that as in she actively tries to understand him better. In the beginning she thinks that he doesn't like her considering his jittery and nervous personality. This draws her attention considering how normally people will flock to her. Giving her more initiative to try to build a relationship with him.

This starting point in their relationship is out of pure curiosity and the more time she spends with him she understands that Yeonwoo is a kind, loyal and selfless person. She also knows that he's a good judge of character. So her liking him is not out of left field. In her eyes she has only seen good come from him. Whereas Yeonwoo who has only negative things to say about himself she only has positive things that she can say about him. Don't get me wrong though she can still see his flaws but in her eyes his positives outweighs negatives.

The more time she spends with him the more she is drawn to him. Yeonwoo has a naturally nurturing personality and for someone who hasn't had someone like that she is automatically drawn to him. When he helps Nari dispite them not knowing each other that well with her bullying incident. That makes her trust him more.

Haesol see this and the more she watches him and interacts with him she realizes that he is a genuinely good and caring person. Caring in a way that she has never experienced before. This is all in the beginning of their relationship by the way before he confesses to her.

When he confesses to her she knows all of this she sees all of this and the fact that he is a good friend of hers kind of puts her off because in the past friends have confessed her. but she realizes that his confession is different in the fact that he just wants to have her know what he feels for her he does not expect them to go out. When she realizes this she says well why not and just goes for it because as I said before she is drawn to him.

Giving her home life. someone like yeonwoo is exactly what she needs so it's very believable that she falls for him. And as the chapters go on it is quite obvious if you look at her character that she does like him. The way she talks to him and interacts with him you can tell that she cares about him. And the beach episode where she tells him I want to help you because even though she does see more positive than negative in him. She knows that he does not think of himself that way so she wants to help him see himself the way she sees him. She does genuinely care for him and wants to take care of him.

When analyzing a character like Haesol you have to look at her actions and not her face because if you look at her face you are not going to see any semblance of emotion given how emotionally numb she is. So I feel like that is why some people say that she doesn't like him because they don't look at her actions they look at her face. Also given the fact that in the beginning of their relationship she was very standoffish. However I like to say that she was nervous because let's remember she has never had a boyfriend before. So to her she is nervous but to us as the audience she seems standoffish and distant from yeonwoo. If we go by her actions she likes him. The fact that she is willing to have him be so close and that she initiates contact with him when she doesn't do that with someone like Jinwoo who she has known longer than Yeonwoo that speaks for itself.

I just wanted to get my opinion out there because there seems to be a lot of people who don't understand her character and who thinks that she doesn't like Yeonwoo. when in my eyes from the very beginning she did have an interest towards him and the longer they spent time together the more her image of him changed from someone who she thought of as a friend to someone who she thinks of as a lover.

Also let us remember this is a slow burn so the relationship is going to develop in a realistic way. Plus they're teenagers and they're going to be awkward.

#yeonwoo's innocence #romance #yeonwoo x haeaool for life #Kimirai.Thoughts #Kimirai.Rambles

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postbadbadassqueen · 1 year

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Kallen's second Character song "One More Chance" Analysis

Kallen's second character song went out with the R2 sound drama 4 and brought some great information for all Kallen and/or Kallen/Lelouch fans, so I had to make a post about this song.

youtube

First off you have to know that while the beat of the song is very cheerful, the song in itself is rather depressing as it is basically Kallen singing about the new life someone she can't reach anymore gave her; And while she tried to enjoy and adore it, she can't help but feel his absence and long for his presence. As usual, as it was the case with every Kallen side material, this song caused flame wars on the internet, on the english and japanese side of the fandom because of Kallen's words (her song was released right after the ending of the show so those were her first words after the ambiguous Geass ending, and what words they were.)

Let's see the lyrics ~

The city will now awaken and I sense a new wind blowing While I shut a number of lost dreams deep in my breast

This one is pretty easy to decipher, as she talks about a new day/a new world, so that's actually pretty hopeful but then she has to talk about lost dreams she had (sadness is never far with Kallen post R2 material) and that she keeps quiet; You can try and guess about those lost dreams; Lelouch made her brother's dream come true, what are/were her dreams actually ?

Thank you for your love, for how you supported me All you people whom I've met up 'til today Thank you for your love, for I can't forget The person with a strong and beautiful heart

And there it is, at the very beginning the verse which caused torrent of R A G E and talks over the internet lol;

Kallen basically thanks those who supported her and that she met till this very day, so we can guess it's the resistance folks, the black knights, her friends in ashford, basically everyone who cared, loved and supported her;

And then she single out a person with a strong and beautiful heart she can't forget, and she also thanks him for his love; Honestly I've seen people try and try to debate about this verse, ultimately those who denied the possibility of Kallen thanking Lelouch for loving her had two arguments : 1/ He loved her like Jesus loved everyone (Yeah Lelouch became Jesus Christ superstar apparently) 2/ Kallen is delusional (don't laugh because most of the deniers of her side material went this way with everything that came out about her; the whole point of Kallen's side material would be to show how delusional she is.) Now of course, I think noone of those argument make sense, Lelouch loved his friends in various ways, but he wasn't some sort of demi god, for Kallen to single him out and thank him for his love, she just...thank him for his love. And while some will always deny he felt some romantic feelings toward Kallen, i'd say the point where I'd agree with them is actually that the nature of this love is still up in the air; Love doesn't mean romance after all (but that's when other Kallen's side material come into light and give more and more weight to the idea that Lelouch and Kallen definitely shared something more ambiguous than some would like to admit.)

We ended the battle but I still can't shed tears Not until that day when I've climbed our promised staircases

This one is a bit tricky; first off we have as usual Kallen trying to be strong and hold back her pain, because that's who she is, she is selfless and tried her best, all the time and...she talks about reaching a promise staircase; Now as far as we know, Kallen never made any promise to anyone...or did she ? We know two things came from Lelouch ; he wanted her to live on, and he had a personal little wish for her, to live her own dreams. (You can find the post about this on this link) ; So one could think she turned that into a promise, that she would indeed go on and do as he wanted for her. Just a thought.

I will try again, even when I stumble Push on my back so that I walk forward I will try again, and once day I'll catch up with you Encourage me by telling me I'm not alone, okay?

Just like most of Kallen's side material, this song is quite centered about her and Lelouch so there is next to no doubt she is asking for his support, even when she stumbles through life, as most people who lost dear ones hope they'll watch over them in the afterlife; The second part of the verse is quite sad as she talks about reuniting with him someday (so at the time of her death since in the anime canon, he is fully dead.) and ask for him to tell her he is still by her side. ...I don't get how anyone would actually try and pretend Gino/Kallen was a believable ship after R2. If anything Kallen seems even more in love with Lelouch after he died than she was during R2.

One more chance The dawn will come To the stars I want to wave to Yes, one more chance Shine again okay? Under the sky

So it's Kallen once again singing about this new chance at life she has (she got given) one can certainly overanalyze that and put more Lelouch in there but he is all over this song so no need for me.

Honestly, I want to see you And weep into your chest...

This part is pretty sad since she eventally let out her truth; while the whole song is about her being grateful for this life, asking him for his support and thanking him for his love she eventually gives up the pretense and just admits she wants to see him and cry in his chest. Kallen being honest there. To think some argues she only liked Zero.

One more chance Gaze at me So I can advance on the path I believe in Yes, one more chance Just once more I'll try living your share of life, too

Once again she talks about her new life, she asks Lelouch to watch over her, to give her the strenght she needs and she concludes by the fact she'll try to live for him as well. Urgh. That's pretty heartbreaking but that also means living to the fullest so while it's sad, it's also full of hope for Kallen's future.

One more chance The dawn will come To the stars I want to wave to Yes, one more chance Shine again okay? Under the sky

And that's the conclusion of the song with this repetition. That's about it for Kallen's second character song; While her first character song, platinium end, was about her being dere dere and full of admiration for her masked commander, her second character song is more mature and sad, with a Kallen trying desperately to be hopeful and glad about what she got, while still missing her special someone.

Kallen really ends up being a tragic character eventually, and her side material only intensify that.

#code geass #kallen kozuki #kallen stadtfeld #lelouch vi britannia #lelouch lamperouge #lelouch x kallen #kalulu #lulukare #official material #canon material #it's all in the original and not in the alternative #lelouch of the rebellion #コードギアス #ルルカレ #character song #Youtube

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nelithic · 1 year

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WHAT MAKES A PERSONALITY

A template for analyzing features of a personality beyond listing adjectives.

SELF-CONCEPT

View of Self: a protector — of rafal first and foremost, though ( in canon ) after crossing over to alear's elyos, that begins to extend to nature, life, and growth in all its variations, due to a contextual appreciation for and desire to preserve that which had crumbled into ruin in her own world. an individualist by circumstance — someone who has the room to be unbound to the beliefs and opinions of those around her other than rafal due to her longevity, and thus is in a unique position to maintain focus on her own goals and what they mean for her. she sees herself as having the privilege to be absolved of most consequences that would ordinarily come from being someone who prioritizes their own goal above all else — she will outlive the burned bridges and shifting belief systems and changing societies.

View of Others: pinpricks in time. this does not mean they are not valuable — in many ways, it's the opposite. benchmarks for herself and her history and her truth. faces and experiences and knowledge that will help prove to herself in a long, long time from now that she and these others had existed at a point in time, and that they had mattered.

View of World: until very recently: an unforgiving place, where the gradual fall to suffering and entropy is the default state of the natural law, and happiness and beauty are hard-won oases to be fought for, and which must equally fight to be preserved. it is natural in such an environment for competition, distrust, and malice to be the norm, and so she does not view these things as being bad, but as an inherent result of cause-and-effect. in such a world, it's the selfless who stand out because they are rare, both because they do not last long and because they are the beacons that are the easiest to take from.

it's only recently, upon leaving fell!elyos, that she has only just begun to process that worlds can be different when the natural law is not one of gradual but inevitable degradation.

Motivations & Goals: ensure rafal's safety and happiness above all else. this is the core motivation that has determined her way forward for thousands of years.

What they Value Most: rafal's well-being.

EMOTIONAL REACTIONS

Reaction to Stress: find and address the problem. nel threads a direct link between feelings of stress and threat of danger. stress induces vigilance, and a kneejerk inclination to calmly but swiftly locate and neutralize the threat. that said, this is mostly in the case of above-average stress. low levels of stress are generally endemic to nel, who is almost constantly at least a little vigilant even when she does not mean to be. it is not an on-off switch she can control. as such, nel tends to handle even paralyzing levels of stress well; she would say it is the only reason she and her brother have survived this long.

Reaction to Fear: generally the same as above if the source of it is actionable, though perhaps somewhat less calm. prefers to act if at all possible: neutralize the thing causing the fear in the most direct way available. conversely, nel sometimes shows an uncharacteristically passive side if the fear is more of an interpersonal anxiety that cannot be easily solved through action. in these situations, she may capitulate to the path of least resistance, while inwardly admonishing herself for her cowardice.

Reaction to Success: relief and pragmatic acknowledgement. likes to reward herself for successes with well-earned rest and relaxation, in which she displays glimpses of a reptilian languor. almost a pseudo-hibernation when she allows herself to unwind.

Reaction to Failure: none because if she failed its because she died trying retreat, reassess, reattempt. as long as the ultimate goal has not been lost yet, there are still ways forward. this is not optimism, but a fact. only when that fact is no longer true, because the ultimate goal has been lost, would she actually name it ' failure '. in which case: senses of hopelessness, powerlessness, and self-reproach. may be slow, reluctant, and inert until she finds her way forward again.

DEVELOPMENT

Ideal Self: has very little concept of this, likely because she has seldom, if ever, had the privilege of being able to think or imagine far into the future. why imagine a future if even today is uncertain? would be startled if ever asked.

Areas of Growth: reconciling the sides of her that embrace harshness and cruelty as necessary parts of reality and the sides that desire to foster and protect softness. finding a satisfactory meeting point between meaningful connection with others without weakening of purpose. growing past reliance. content and meaningful existence beyond purpose. battling loneliness.

Barriers to Growth: clinging to known ideologies that give her sense of self and stability. intentional and unintentional emotional barriers between herself and shorter-lived life-forms. unwillingness to imagine, embrace, and plan for the worst emotional and interpersonal outcomes. concept of self as an ' outsider / remnant / last of her species '. desire to be needed.

#——— ⟢　𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝒂𝒕𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒔 】₊　lore.#fell xenologue spoilers #been saving this in the back of my head for a rainy day #and it is finally well not a rainy day but a draftless day #which is just about the same thing right

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jerzwriter · 1 year

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Who's more romantic, Ethan or Kaycee? And Tobias or Casey?

And also what's the most romantic thing the men have done for their wives?

Hello dear Sara,

I have been sitting on this because I'm so torn.

With Ethan and Kaycee, it's very easy to say, at face value, that it's Kaycee. She is definitely more hearts, fluff, and butterflies than Ethan is. But that's just Kaycee's personality; it's who she is, so of course she's going to give that to Ethan because she loves him with all her heart. But, being romantic is not who Ethan is. It's not in his nature, and it takes some getting used to for him. Still, he goes out of his way to make romantic gestures, big and small, because he knows it makes Kaycee. So to me, that's a huge thing in its own right. So while Kaycee is more of a traditional romantic, Ethan's got game too!

With Tobias and Casey, they're both such big, disgusting mush balls when it comes to each other. Casey is such a romantic that it is hard for me to even entertain the idea that Tobias could be more romantic than her... but girl... I think he's more romantic than her. Tobias always knew how to "lay on" the romance if he wanted to... but it was always a bit of a means to an end, not entirely sincere. So while he may have been the wine and roses type, it didn't go beyond that. Then along comes Casey, and she's the real deal, and all of a sudden, nearly 40 years of suppressed romance comes popping out of this guy. Factor in that he realized he loved her... the first person he ever loved... when he thought she was dying. So he never ever takes her for granted.

The most romantic thing, for both of them, there are so many instances it's hard to pick just one. Especially because I believe (so they do, too, lol) that true romance is not in big, expensive gifts or gestures. It's in the little things we do to show we love someone every day. It's when Ethan makes sure Kaycee has her perfect cup of coffee every morning. It's always waiting for her; she never has to ask. It's the way Tobias and Casey have a deal that he cooks, she does the dishes, then 9 out of 10 times, he does the dishes anyway. Those little things every day mean more than anything.

But if we're talking about big romantic gestures, I think the recent fic I wrote about Ethan cooking the same dinner they had at their wedding every year on their anniversary, then seeing to it that their daughter would carry on the tradition after he died... that's like swoon-worthy romance. lol

With Tobias, I think his biggest gesture was before they were even together. When he realized he was the only one she was comfortable going out of the apartment with initially after the attack, he made it a point to take her out weekly - wherever she wanted to go, whatever she wanted to do. Most of the time, it was just going to the bookstore they loved in Cambridge (where he'd always buy her at least one book) and then to lunch after. But he was there each and every week. He encouraged her and helped her feel alive again. The clincher, he was madly in love with her, and she said they could not be more than friends. He never pushed it, and he did it knowing the whole time he could just be helping her get well to end up in someone else's arms, but he did it anyway. To me, that is beyond romantic... it's what real love is supposed to be, selfless.

Thank you for the ask, my dear friend!

#ethan ramsey #ethan x kaycee #tobias carrick #tobias x casey #most romantic #isn't it romantic #romance #asks answered

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thelemoncoffee · 2 years

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Can you give a detailed summary of everyone's personality?

detailed? no, summary yes

1: Zenko Nao (Furry) -He's perpetually tired, but still manages to be dorky -Insanely passionate about their hobby as a furry, which is how it ended up becoming his ultimate in the first place -They try hard to be extroverted, but due to having paranoia issues and the stress of being internet famous getting to him, they tend to be more introverted than he'd like to be -Very smart, but not where it counts -Prefers to snack all day instead of eating full meals

2: Hibiki Naomi (Poet) -Has really bad depression and prefers to be left alone.... no one ever leaves him alone tho -He's also quiet, really sassy, and hasn't the fuckest clue how to hold a normal conversation -Carries around the notebook he writes all his poems in and looks at anyone who tries to touch said book with murder in his one visible eye. -Due to a mixture of sensory issues and trauma, he cannot stand loud noises and will get overwhelmed by them -Despite this, he somehow manages to become best friends with Neiro.... a talkative drummer.

3: Yoshiko Kie (Geologist) -She comes off as shy and is easily spooked, but the moment you get her going she's a mean ass bitch. -She's like gasslight, gatekeep, girlboss but hidden under a veil that has a striking resemblance to Fluttershy -One of the least developed characters rn -She goes by Iko

4: Fumiko Umemoto (VA) -Another under developed character, but even less than Iko -She's a petty jerk who loves to snark, i still need to give her a not negative trait -She's also a walking reference dispenser and has a seemingly bottomless backpack or props she uses to aid in doing character impressions

5: Kazuhiko Ichigo (Surfer) -A laid back guy who is sounds and acts high, but has never done drugs of any kind, he's just naturally like that -So chill his aura calms others down, is entirely unaware of this -He's pretty selfless, and has a track record of saving fellow surfers before the lifeguards can. -He has no intent to be a hero of any kind and even hates being called one, but ends up frequently seen as one due to his impulse to help -i don't remember why this one is here but on the google doc i have my notes on, there's a bullet point under Kazuhiko's section that just says "mariocart"... so uh... mariocart?

6: Daiki Dekiru (Traceur) -Very much a dumbass, both in the stupid way and in the chaotic way -Peek himbo. stupid, strong, and very sweet -Loud and impulsive, makes you wonder how he hadn't killed himself doing something dumb prior to the killing game -he also has zero filter, as in not only does he say whats on his mind- but he also would share his credit card info unprompted -I got one acronym for you: ADHD

7: Ellodie (Hatter) -She's a walking Alice In Wonderland reference -She's openly very weird and presents herself as chipper, but also if you push her just right she can become super eerie -She'll talk your ears off if you aren't careful, but unlike Daiki she is excellent at withholding information -Queen of nonsense, but also super smart and has a knack for using her nonsense to make sense -Advocate for being yourself despite what anyone thinks, absolutly does not believe in the concept of cringe and actually takes being calls cringe as a complement- to her it's a sign she's doing a great job at openly being herself -MOST DEVELOPED CHARACTER!! i've worked so very hard on her and i love her so -Also she's the obligatory foreign kid, shes's from the British countryside. she tries to not use British slang as to not confused her peers but it does slip on occasion

8: Neiro Shibata (Drummer) -Resident "cool big sister" archetype -She's a bit emotional and cares deeply for people she sees are struggling (why she's besties with Hibiki) -She also tries to be respectful but struggles a bit some times due to that aforementioned emotional-ness, she sometimes says stuff an back tracks when she realizes it upset someone -Uses her drumming as a way to vent her emotions

9: Jun Hanako (???) -Man of few words, he talks mostly in short sentences and lacks any kind of emotion in his voice -Don't let his voice fool you tho, he's a pretty happy guy, he just shows emotion in other ways -He's pretty hardworking and a big neat freak, if the others won't clean something up, he'll go behind them and take care of it -He is pretty secretive though, doesn't share much about himself and what he does say is so basic it feels like you haven't learned anything

10: Chiba Ayame (Hacker) -Protag's assistant/best friend -The straightman of the group, she actively hates when people cut the fool and wants things to be taken more seriously -Blunt as fuck, will tell you the fuck off and hurt your feelings if it means getting her point across -Resents people who can put their honest selves out there and not get hurt (despises Ellodie the most) -Wants to be seen as normal -Hacking is a guilty pleasure of hers, she has no clue how it ended up becoming her ultimate

11: Takao Hagiwara (Swindler) -Loud and totally oblivious to it -Has anger issues and a sass problem, but also is all bark and no bite. will cuss someone out but the second they get pissed enough to take a swing he runs off screaming -Very street smart, everything else... not so much -Will act on his intrusive thoughts if someone doesn't keep an eye on him -god forbid you give him a lighter

12: Masaki Jiro (Astrologist) -Protag!! -He's a bit of a mess, he wants to be on good terms with everyone but is also bad at communicating cause he's a bit of a shut in -Generally cheerful, but does have a mean streak in him that he's trying to work on controlling -Nervous panics, will spiral if someone doesn't intervene -Clumsy and tries to act like he isn't, he'll trip then try to continue what he was doing like he didn't just almost eat shit

13: Kasai Koyo (Lucky Student) -Underdeveloped as hell -Mom friend with the patience of a saint, it's hard to get her pisses off be even when you do she'll suppress the fuck out of it -She has the desire to help others but always feels out of place wherever she goes, being surrounded by ultimates makes this actively worse -Ironically enough, despite being the ult lucky student, she does not believe in luck, karma, fate, or anything akin in nature

14: Kobe Katsumi (Film Artist) -Do you by chance know Reggie Belafonte from Surfs Up? -Cause this man is just Reggie but human -Obnoxiously loud and showbizz-y, kinda sleazy -He's always trying to make things sound more amazing than they are, especially the things he likes -And contrast, he'll do everything he can to burn an idea to the ground if he doesn't like it -Every theater kid stereotype bundled into one shitbag -Also tries to pretend like he's more important than he is

15: Asuka Seo (Pilot) -Underdeveloped as shit -He comes off as snobbish due to how uptight and bitter he is -Dude's actually just super dead inside and wants to be left the fuck alone -Cares more about logic than feelings (cough cough trauma cough) -Do not try to provoke, you will regret it

16: Ohara Susumu (Toy Maker) -Just as huggable and sweet as the toys she makes -Very neutral in a "whatever works for you" kind of way, she'd rather do things others want to do instead of adding in her own suggestions -Has no real friends, her first ever plushie she made (Bridget, the cat plushie) is her best friend -Self sacrificial, if it benefits someone else she'll do it regardless of how uncomfy she is, she doesn't realize this isn't healthy behavior tho and simply calls it "my way of being kind" -gets anxious when people ask her about herself cause she isn't sure how to respond

#ask kai #lead hearts #this took much longer to write than i thought it would

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moonrisecalamityretreat · 1 year

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calculated risk || loic || trial 5.4 || re: yuriko || attn: all

[♫♫♫]

Why does this always happen to him?

He’s beginning to think he’s cursed.

Haku died first, the first person he was tempted to call a friend in a very, very long time. There had been nothing he could do for him, and there was even less he could do for him now with so much time between that first murder and the present moment.

That mess with Aldie hadn’t emotionally affected him on a deep level. He, like everyone, liked Hayato, but he hadn’t been best friends with the guy or anything. Mostly, he was forced to think about how he was probably one of the unluckiest people alive, getting to have an attempted murderer as a roommate.

Komori Land was where the nightmare really started. Rowan was a grounding presence to a lot of people--blessedly normal and overall a nice person. It was unfortunate what happened. Obviously, though, that curse he’s pondering now stole away someone far more important to him. Hisa was the first person who he’d ever felt loved by outside of his brother, and there had been nothing he could do to avoid losing him to an accident. A complete accident.

He’d thought that things couldn’t possibly get worse.

Loic was, naturally, proven wrong as he was forced to watch his brother’s stability unwind and be ripped to shreds like cheap yarn. When he had come to him in the wake of Sayuri’s murder with a bleeding side and a horrific confession, Loic had stared his choices down and swiftly made his decision. He wouldn’t lose his brother, even if it meant losing everything else. It was only through deciding to risk all that he’d gained in this place that he was able to keep Maxime from meeting the same fate Hisa had met.

Against all odds, people had found it in their hearts to forgive him to some extent for what he’d done. He didn’t deserve their kindness, not in the slightest, but he took it all the same because, well, maybe, at his core, he’s a selfish person, after all. He’d always thought he was selfless to the point of detriment, but this curse of his, well, it was a detriment to others, not him.

Yvette. Mio. Back to back tragedies that he can’t comprehend. His sister and his friend, a friend he would have done anything for if it only asked him. He’d thought when he looked upon Mio’s body that this was the last tragedy that he could possibly take because certainly, surely, positively it couldn’t be that Yuriko had anything to do with what happened here in the mansion. Fate couldn’t decide that two of the people he loved in the world should die because of an accident, a horrific and tragic mistake.

A disbelieving laugh escapes him when Yuriko confesses. There’s…No. No, no, no. No, not…why? Why? Why does this keep happening? Why do the people he loves keep getting put on the butcher’s block?

But he didn’t stop fighting last time. And he won’t stop this time either. No. He refuses. He refuses to fail like he failed Hisa and Yvette and Haku and Mio and Maxime when it mattered most. He can’t come up with a clever story and a show-stopping performance to get them out of this one, but he can…he can fight. Try. For them.

“You’re not selfish, Yuriko. You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met. Any of us have ever met.”

His voice is rough as he speaks, and he reaches over to pat her head gently once and then twice. He gives her a soft smile.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

After he’s said that, he drops his hand down to his side before looking out at the rest of the group. He might not be the tallest member of the group, but he once again shifts his posture out of the slouch he adopts most of the time.

“Can any of you name a single time when Yuriko was anything but a helpful presence to you? A kind person to a fault? Someone who always helps others? Any of you? A single one? Can you think of just one bad thing they’ve said about anyone in this room? Or anyone who might’ve once been in this room?

No? Figures. So, instead, think of ten times they helped you. Ten times you remember seeing someone cheered up by them just being in the room. How about ten times they stuck their neck out for others. I’ll give you one freebie if you’re struggling: They hacked their tablet at their own risk to try to get information to help us, remember? They have done nothing but give and give and give in this place. They have done nothing but provide comfort and companionship to anyone who might’ve wanted it or needed it. They have been an actively helpful force and not just a behind the scenes bitch.”

He doesn’t say names, but, well, he’s certain that people will know who he’s talking about. He hasn’t hidden his ire for 1-1 very well lately.

“If there’s anyone in this room who deserves more than the others to make it out of here alive, it’s her. It’s her. And you all know it. Every single one of you--you know it.

Mikazuki, Tsuneo, I understand why you feel like you can’t risk it. I do. I won’t hold it against you, not after you’ve seen what I would do for my brother, but the rest of you? If you don’t risk it for them, you’re fucking cowards, and you know it. She has been hurt every single time we’ve come into this room, and every single time we’ve been outside of it, too.

Hate me all you want for pointing out the truth, but I’m not going to let this place kill one of the kindest hearts that exists on this planet, and I’m willing to put my neck on the line for her.”

Although voting isn’t open to them yet, he knows how he intends to vote already. It was never a question.

#ch5 #luca

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douxie-casperan · 3 years

Text

Rise of the Titans and the assassination Hisirdoux Casperan’s character development

I’ve been ranting so much since Wednesday morning that I finally condensed by thoughts of WHY this one subject keeps setting me off namely the utterly diabolical way they handled Douxie and Archie’s relationship in Rise of the Titans and how it wasn’t just enough to hit him with the nerf bat.

Please note I’m at the point where I literally cannot tell the difference between Aaron headcanons, Teny headcanons and my own they are all mixed together in the blender that does funky things. I also apologise for typo/weird wording it’s half 1 in the morning and I’d rather sleep than edit.

If asked to sum up Hisirdoux Casperan there are certainly several things that come to mind:

Sees the value in people as a whole and will find do anything if there is a chance of help someone out

Prefers tactics that disable/banish rather than kill an enemy yet willing and able to pull the trigger if circumstances become forced

While not academically inclined he is very capable of thinking on his feet and outside the box calling back to his time on the streets where a split-second decision making is the difference between being caught and not

Terrible at planning he’ll be in there figuring it out as he goes along which is what makes the previous point so vital to literally how he goes through life

A natural charmer that would let him talk his way out of trouble 9/10 providing a perfect cover for his distrustful nature and reluctance to be touched by random people

Very down to earth, humble and never one to brag unless outright sassing someone

Will bang out some hot tunes at the drop of a hat, his love of music has never wavered once since he caught the bug despite instrument hopping ironically becoming a jack of all trades much like his magic style

The earliest memories he can recall are him as a young boy lost in the woods where he was for an unknown amount of time before his soon to be familiar finds him amongst the roots covered in dirt and drying tears, there is nothing before that. Unbeknownst to him is the colour of his magic matches the blue of a lost mother’s eyes and the song that haunts his nightmares as much as fire could well be hers though there is no way to be sure. From that moment on Archibald, shortened to Archie, would become his entire world and their friendship only becoming closer during the years they prowled Camelot together trying to keep themselves in one piece until the fateful day Douxie tricks the wrong person leading him straight into the path of the famous wizard Merlin Ambrosius.

It's no real secret that Merlin is a very closed off person who keeps his emotions as well guarded as his secrets, prefers the style of negative reinforcement over positive encouragement and is a very strict perfectionist in his. At this point in his life he can be very easily described as a disaster that is genuinely doing his best with every little mistake held of his head and his future self when brought back to that time period is belittled by Lancelot (Errand boy) and Arthur (Boy) too meaning it’s hardly a wonder his confidence was very fragile revelling in the times where he could do things without being told off for it. With Morgana largely ignoring him too (Though personally I like to think as he got older she’d occasionally take an interest until the blistering arguments with their master started to talk over daily life) a certain disguised dragon would have remained a lifeline and give that physical affection he craved much like being told he’d done well never seemed able to earn.

With Killahead he’d lose that home and family he made leaving just the two of them behind struggling to figure out their place in the world that had abandoned them.

There wouldn’t have been the words for it back then but the way he had been treated prior was outright abusive instilling very bad habits into Douxie yet by irony he was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and help those in trouble without thinking earning a reputation as the Shepard of Fire. He refused to become like him seeking to be better, perhaps not as a wizard (Even though he was learning new charms and spells along the way) but certainly as a person. Despite everything he suffers through or witnesses in the intervening years, the loss of friends and kindling of far newer ones he never loses his good heart

That said is it any wonder that after rightfully sassing Merlin for resurfacing, ignoring his existence despite being in the same town and only visiting him to run a finding errand that all the confidence he’d managed to build completely from scratch after Camelot wavered causing him to fall back solely into trying impressing his old Master who was acting like his humble apprentice must have coasted the past few centuries who himself fell back into old habits of belittling? It’s only when Merlin started to truly listen and acknowledge that this was not the same Moppet he once knew after Excalibur was fixed that their relationship finally started to become more like equals. After the defeat of Janus the changeling that broke into the castle he touched Douxie’s shoulder with a genuine smile and for a second he simply didn’t know what to do because the old man never did this before his brain kicked into gear and realised he’d finally earned that one thing he’d been so desperate for his entire life: That in Merlin’s eyes he could be more than a failure who only caused problems for the closest thing to a father figure he’d ever had, never solved them.

A staff will be earned, history would be set back on trap by banishing Morgana tag teaming with Archie because they know one another inside and out, as promised he’d get the kids back to the present but soon after things would go badly wrong. They’d lose Jim and because of his very nature he’d make a gamble to try and get him back because that life is worth trying for just for in a moment of surprising selflessness Merlin would be sacrificed to save him. The only constant in his life apart from Archie would apologise, openly express pride and how the greatest thing he’d ever done was saving this orphan, call him son for the first and final time before turning into ash in his arms. There would be no time to grieve for things will barrel into the crescendo of Douxie sacrificing his own life to buy everyone time to escape because if they did that everything he’d ever done would be worth it with one last whispered goodbye.

(Zoe sees him fall, so does Archie – His heart would break if he was conscious just like theirs does when his body crumples into the ground)

On the very fringes of the Light Realm he is gifted one more conversation with Merlin in a truly heart-breaking sequence (THANKS TENY) where they can just talk without any fear of consequence or politics and just be completely honest. Douxie is allowed to stand equal to Merlin, to have the hug he’d needed since he was a child and be allowed to simply let go of every pretense and cry his heart out because this can never happen again. He’s allowed to say goodbye to both his master and Morgana who had both shaped so very much of his life but like the painting he’d always remained firmly in the long shadows of until that moment.

When Hisirdoux Casperan finally leaves Wizards if we just accidently deliberately put the shawarma back in along with checking in with Zoe before departure, it is with having learned to live during his wandering years but this is the point of true freedom because he can finally escape into his own light with Archie by his side to keep Nari out of the hands of those that would see the world harmed. It won’t be easy but it feels possible somehow even with the knowledge everything is simply running on borrowed time.

Then Rise of the Titans happens.

At first everything is genuinely fine! No more running, they engineer a solution shut the Order’s magic down to make them a lot less dangerous and potentially at least incapacitate them until they can come up with a longer-term solution but all the best laid plans and all that. Douxie’s quick thinking stops the train from crushing any of the people below and it’s a very him style move to switch places with Nari to stall for time because for some reason the plot disabled Claire from portaling her or any of the threatened people/heroes to safety. He openly sasses the Order despite knowing the consequences will be bad for him because once again he’s managed to trick them, buy time that at the other end isn’t even slightly utilised until he’s forced back into his own body in excruciating pain. Archie immediately mobs him with comfort just as he has done every single time the wizard is distressed or collapsed with exhaustion without thinking because that is what their bond is like, incredibly close and far more than the Soul Bond mark that connects them together. They’re very alike in that regard, you have to earn the right to touch while equally knowing exactly what form the other needs the most in that precise moment in a way very few others could.

Bar the moment of figuring out that an illusion is in place to hide where the Order is opening the Genesis Seals and the brief insistence on reconnecting with Nari somehow Douxie manages to forget everything that makes him who he is after this point choosing to stand in the background being very no thoughts head empty or can only use the most basic spells of his youthful days not the seasoned master wizard he should be. Nomura is treated like an innocent slip rather than an outright death he did absolutely nothing to prevent (Not to mention the stupid daytime thing) nor seems to care particularly about afterwards yet with Nari’s he’s allowed to openly grieve in a gorgeously animated visual showing how he’d failed to keep her safe despite everything. He did nothing to help here either mind despite allowing himself to be tortured in the same piece of media to keep her safe, just watched another loss happen right in front of his eyes in his conga long line of them.

Then there’s Archie, oh god then there was Archie.

The dragon who even here he’d been shown to have an incredibly close bond with him decides you know what sod that tell him goodbye I’m going to make a joke about having a kingdom now dad and me are trapped in here forever. Douxie on his part looked sad for all of three seconds saying that he hoped he’s happy like it's a pet that wandered out into the world one day and never came back instead of a lifelong companion that has been there for as long as he can remember. He was now completely alone in the world since Zoe was also written out entirely and because every bit of his background had been forgotten about it somehow meant nothing. This wasn’t “I know you miss him, I know you need to grieve but you are running out of time” moment like things had been with Charlie, this was “cool shapeshifting dragon cat is now stuck in a plot hole that’s a shame” with zero pay off or any of the genuine reaction that should have been there or hell even trying to Ohana him back that very second because it never should have happened in the first place. Then even this wasn’t enough somehow, they managed to de-power Douxie even further into uselessness bar the (Admittedly nifty!) sticky feet stunt, the one who fought Skrael and Bellroc to a stalemate was shunted aside with barely a thought and his head would somehow get even emptier.

The one person who knew the danger of time magic the most stood by and said nothing.

The one person who would suffer the most by a reset because the lynchpin to his issues would be asleep if you got it wrong and should have drilled it into Jim’s head the best time to aim for stood by and said nothing.

The one person who had just suffered the loss of his familiar, best friend and only family along with the almost sister like Nari stood by and said nothing.

Then to add further insult to injury the caption when Douxie and Archie is shown says Some go their entire lives living an existence of quiet desperation because every drop of his character growth, his ability to finally start addressing his trauma instilled back in the 12th century, the staff he longed for was instead openly mocked by going “Aww he got his cat friend back how nice!” Everything he’d rightfully earned and had now would be unable to progress until certain criteria are met because it hinges entirely on the Trollhunter going to Merlin’s tomb and there’s only so much your support network of two (One if she’s written out) can do, the root of the majority of his issues all stem from one man.

And this folks is why I’ve been going on multiple rants about Douxie in particular, everyone was hit with the out of character bat to some degree in this film but when they came for him they didn’t just stop after they took his legs out because they wanted him to suffer from something he’s never had any control over to begin with all over again. Abuse survivors deserve better, these characters deserve better and we as viewers deserve far far better writing than we were forced to endure.

#Ooc - Behind the curtains #Rise of the Titans #Rise of the Titans spoilers #RotT Spoilers #RoT spoilers #Wizards #Tales of Arcadia #ToAWizards #Hisirdoux Casperan #Douxie Casperan

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blushing-titan · 3 years

Text

My reasons to ship Erehisu

About two weeks ago, I got an anonymous ask that reads:

what made you ship erehisu? I don't ship anyone in the series (and defo not eremika lol) and I want to understand the reasons

...but when I tried to answer it on my app, it turned out that I can only post 10 pictures per post, so I decided to make a longer, regular one with my thoughts on this topic 😄 Erehisu remains one of my favorite ships in the series (...with the other ones being Yumi/hisu and Levi/han), so I really enjoy talking about it (...well, at least I did, before I started moving away from the series after that mess of a finale). Without further ado, my reasons to ship Erehisu are under the cut (just a quick warning: the pictures are obviously not mine, and there are some anti-eremika themes in this post).

They had an actual developement

As we know: in the beginning, Historia was pretending to be this good, selfless girl Krista. Later on, we learn that Eren was not particularly fond of her façade (...keep in mind he was the only person who noticed that she was acting off, too - obviously excluding Ymir, who was Historia's closest person and knew about her secret). As Historia chooses to embrace her identity and stop pretending, his opinion on her changes - he reassures her and appreciates the real Historia.

You’re just normal. Just a normal girl who’s absurdly honest. (Eren, ch. 54)

Eren...that day...the time you called me...normal. That made me really...happy. (Historia, ch. 65)

Later on, after Historia saves Eren in the Reiss cave, his thoughts on her change even further. There isn't just something that he likes about her anymore - instead, he starts to actually admire her strength and actions.

(ch. 68)

(ch. 70)

Even further on, he prioritizes her safety and hides an important piece of information that could help Paradis' cause - only because it could potentially put Historia in harm's way.

(ch. 89)

(ch. 90)

(ch. 106)

Keep in mind that there was a time skip in between these chapters, which means Eren kept this secret for years. He hid it even from Armin and Mikasa. After it's finally revealed, he strongly disagrees with, and fights against Historia becoming a titan for the sake of the island. Eren’s sentiment towards Historia is even noticed by Hanji on a few different occasions - it’s something that Hanji brings up while questioning him, later on.

(ch. 107)

Eren also meets Historia in secret, warns her of danger, and downright doesn't let her sacrifice herself - even when she assures him that she's ready to do it.

(ch. 130)

She's also one of the only people with whom he shares the information about the rumbling. He also brings up her own words that she said to him back in the Reiss cave.

(ch. 130)

I believe he doesn't fight for her just because she's one of his friends. It's a natural progression that comes from the shared experience they had in the Reiss cave. Eren got to know and appreciate the real Historia, so whenever she reverts back to the Krista persona, he's there to remind her that she should live for herself and don't let others use her - just like Ymir told her, and just like Historia told him in the Reiss cave. When Eren stands up for Historia in ch. 107 and blatantly refuses to let her get sacrificed, she's actually touched to the point of tearing up.

Their relationship changes and deepens with time, and it's actually shown in the manga - not just as symbols or small hints, but actual, full-fledged conversations/actions. In my opinion, this should be the base of any well-estabilished ship. We have quite a few one-on-one moments with these two that illustrate this progression. There are also panels in which we can peak into Eren's thoughts on Historia, which makes for an unfiltered source of his opinions on her.

They can relate to each other

Something I find really important as well is that Eren and Historia can find each other very relatable, and therefore - understand each other's struggles better.

Both were used by their fathers, and both caused their demise. Both were fiercely protected by someone. Both felt like the world would be better without them, at some point. Both had a big role to play, despite having doubts if they can do it right (Eren, being humanity's titan; Historia, being the queen). Both wanted to sacrifice themselves for their people's sake - and both intervened, saving each other from actually going through with this decision.

Their relationship is well-balanced

Eren and Historia don't clash when it comes to their personalities. As their relationship grows, they mutually admire, protect and motivate each other, while still remaining two separate characters - with their own goals and traits. They freely talk to each other about their struggles; they also care about each other’s actual feelings on them.

(ch. 54)

(ch. 70)

I can easily see them as partners, which is something I've always had troubles with when it comes to EM. It's just hard not to make this comparison, since Mikasa's character has always been pretty much fully centered around Eren, which - in my eyes - made their relationship look unbalanced and toxic. I've already spoke about my issues with EM in depth in this post, so I won't elongate this one with repeating the same arguments - still, one of the reasons I started shipping Erehisu in the first place is the fact that I immediately saw it as a much more normal, healthy, and well-balanced alternative to EM.

Parallels and relevance to the story’s themes

Parallels are something that, for some reason, make a lot of people mad. I have no idea why - these things appear in the manga, so why not talk about them?

Aside from parallels between Eren and Historia (...please, keep in mind that I didn’t list all of them in this post), there are also a lot of obvious parallels between Historia and the founder Ymir - to the point, when the entire Requiem der Morgenröte ending revolves around this theme:

youtube

I've also already spoke about how Ymir/Historia parallels could possibly be tied to Eren in this answer.

(Historia on the cover of vol. 16/Ymir in ch. 122)

Aside from that, there are a few subtle Grisha/Dina and Eren/Historia parallels, as well. Historia is a royal, hiding as a regular person - just like Dina did, before joining the revivalists. Dina also tears up when Grisha stands up for Eldians, just like Historia does when Eren stands up for her.

(ch. 68)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 67)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 56)

(ch. 86)

(ch. 107)

(ch. 86)

Quite interestingly, in a lot of these parallels Historia and Eren act in an opposite way as to previous generations. While Frida teaches Historia to be a good, selfless girl, Historia ends up abandoning this persona to save herself and Eren in the Reiss cave. She doesn’t want to devote herself to fate - instead, she’s prepared for a showdown with it. While the founder Ymir’s children are ordered to eat their own mother to ensure her power’s succession (...and a few hundred years later, Grisha fights to return the founder’s power back to his wife - Dina), Eren does everything he can to ensure Historia and her children are safe and never even titanised in the first place.

As the story unfolds, we learn about it’s leading themes - some of which are: oppression and fighting for freedom, desire to change history, the mechanism of circle of hate, and how it affects children who are a part of it. In my eyes, Erehisu just perfectly fit with these themes, especially considering how later on Historia’s pregnancy was handled in the manga.

There were countless ways to answer the who’s the father question? immediately, without even starting up conversation about it - for example, I don’t understand why it was needed to bring up the fact that Historia didn’t marry the farmer in the first place. What was it’s purpose, aside from stirring up theories - especially considering how in the last chapter it’s revealed that they are married, after all? Why end up the Eren/Historia flashback on the What do you think about me having a child? question, when the whole conversation they had beforehand was literally about Eren disagreeing with Historia wanting to get pregnant just to save herself? It doesn’t make sense, and led me (and many other readers - judging from opinions I read online and chapter reactions on youtube) to belive that there were other reasons, and that there was more to this conversation then was initially shown.

If the conclusion to this plotline was always supposed to be that she got pregnant just to save herself...then what was this mysterious built-up for? Why show this conversation in the first place, and in such a weird manner, too? Why not have Historia just say it out loud in ch. 130: yes, I got pregnant to save myself in the beginning, and spare us this whole I will not allow it talk...you know, instead of ending the conversation on the What do you think about me having a child? when the whole previous talk was about Eren fighting against it? Where’s the logic?

The truth is - from my perspective, Erehisu had a lot of logical build up that would benefit the story, and stay true to it’s already established themes and both characters’ previous developement. On top of that, I also think they simply had great chemistry.

That’s all from me today 😄 I apologize you had to wait so long for this, anon...life got in the way, and as I said - I think I’m just getting over this series. Hope you’re doing well anyway 😊

#erehisu #erekuri #eren x historia #SnK Spoilers #snk shipping #snk rant #anti eremika #aot 139 #aot spoilers #attack on titan #snk manga #historia reiss #eren jeager #shingeki no kyojin

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Company

Huck Finnigan x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2340 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Huck developing feelings for the reader, a patient who is equally as unsure of herself as he is

—————————————————————————————————

You woke up today as you did every day, in your room at the Lucia State Psychiatric Hospital, the light blaring in through the sliver separating the curtains.

It wasn’t a remarkable life.

If anything, it was boring and routine but at the very least, it kept you from hurting yourself. Besides, living in a facility like this wasn’t always bad. The food wasn’t too bad and you were allowed to bathe yourself, as long as you behaved.

For someone like you, it was an easy life. You had been hospitalised there due to a general diagnosis of melancholy, which made your family fear for your safety. Though, you always thought they just wanted to find somewhere to send you off to.

A young woman like you, unmarried and without prospects, was little more than a burden.

Some may have been upset about being sent off to stay in an institute like this one, taken away from everything they knew and left to die, but you didn’t see too much wrong with it. For someone like you, it wasn’t awful.

You were well taken care of, and even you had to admit that you were happier within these walls than you had been out there.

Not that all that change came from staying here alone.

In all the time that you had been staying in this place, you had found quite the interesting friend in a young orderly by the name of Huck Finnegan. He was interesting to you, as he was the sort of man who took care of other people even when it was difficult.

You knew that you didn’t have that much patience in your little finger, but he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. In fact, Huck seemed to get a special kind of joy from taking care of other people, including you.

He really seemed to like coming to see you.

He was constantly coming to visit you during the day, checking on you and making sure that you had everything you needed, which might not have seemed so strange. After all, it was his job to make sure that the patients here were taken care of.

However, while you thought that he was just doing his job at first, taking his turn to do the rounds, eventually, it was hard to believe.

It just didn’t seem plausible.

You knew for a fact that no one else ever took his place and when his visits came so frequently, it was becoming harder and hard to dismiss it as anything other than what it was.

Huck was sweet on you.

You didn’t really understand it, of course, and you weren’t entirely sure but there didn’t seem to be too many more reasons to be so attentive to another person. You certainly had never paid such close attention to someone else, unless you cared about them.

...And while it was possible you were way off base, it was a thought you couldn’t shake.

As far as you were concerned, someone like Huck would never be interested in you.

It didn’t make any sense to you, because you didn’t have anything to offer him. He was selfless and kind, thinking about others at all times and if the rumors were to be believed, he always had been.

Compared to all the things he’d done and all the people he’d saved, you looked like little more than a petulant child.

All things considered, you couldn’t have imagined him finding anything about you to love but in the months that you’d been here, something had certainly developed between you. While you weren’t sure what it was, it didn’t really matter.

You didn’t mind the company.

As far as the folks in this place went, you could have done a lot worse than a handsome war veteran.

If nothing else, he was a good person and talking to him was going to be much better for your mental state than the other patients.

Then, as if thinking about him had somehow encouraged the man’s entrance, there was a knock at your door.

“Good afternoon, can I come in?”

His words came as similarly as they did every day, meeting your ears in tandem with his knocking on the door. Technically, he didn’t have to do you the courtesy of knocking on the door or asking for entrance at all, but it was kind of him to do so.

It was a very human gesture, one that none of the other orderlies or nurses offered you.

Still, just as you did every day, you called out in affirmation, glad to see that Huck was one again coming to check on you. Of all the staff in the Lucia State Psychiatric Hospital, he was by far your favorite.

He was just so nice and polite.

...And it certainly didn’t hurt that he was more handsome than any man you’d ever seen.

Huck’s attractiveness went much deeper than his skin, which wasn’t altogether unattractive to begin with. It was just that the person he was, the person that lived within the skin was far too darling to ever let go of.

You really weren’t sure if you’d ever met a more wonderful person in your life.

“How are you today?” he asked, stepping into the room as casually as he could and closing the door behind him. You knew that this was one of those friendly visits, because you’d already had all your checkups and medicine that you would for the day.

He didn’t have any real reason to be here, but you were just as glad to see him anyway.

“I’m as good as I could be '' you shrugged, caught somewhere between being happy to see him and wishing that you could have met under different circumstances. When you really thought about it, you must have been crazier than any of them to think he could actually like you.

You were a patient of his.

You were out of your mind.

A man like Huck would never be interested in a chubby sad sack with nothing more to live for than walking around the hospital and doodling on your arm in pen. He was a hero, a beautiful soul, and someone you couldn’t have hoped to entice.

He was too good for you.

“Yeah? You’re doing alright? No distasteful thoughts or negativity this morning?” he hummed, doing the same thing he did every day, starting at the door with his arms folded behind his back. These visits always started off as clinical and professional as possible.

Though, before long, you knew well enough to know that Huck would be cracking jokes and smiling as if the two of you were little more than lifelong friends, catching up.

It was just the way this whole thing went.

“Nope, all good here” you teased, putting on your best cheesy grin as if that would somehow convince him. You did seem to be in good spirits today, compared to when you had a bad day, but that didn’t mean you were completely out of the woods.

If it was that easy to convince him, you wouldn’t have been here in the first place.

“Really, cause you kinda have that far off look in your eye again today” he prodded, relaxing a little further, just enough to let himself sit down on the far end of your bed.

It was a more intimate stance than he would ever take with another patient, not that he was going to tell you that. There was just something about you, and he felt really comfortable when he was with you.

Naturally, that kind of comforting energy made him much more calm and casual than he may have been otherwise.

Damn it.

You really didn’t want to tell him about the dreary realization you had just made but you knew well enough to know that Huck wasn’t going anywhere until you opened up and told him what was up.

By this point in your residence here, he knew you well enough to know when you had something on your mind.

“It’s no big deal. I just thought something was happening that wasn’t” you tried, keeping it as vague as you could while still telling him enough to satisfy him. Considering what you were here for, it was much better to just talk to him than it would be to talk to everyone else.

Nurse Ratched tried her best to be understanding of your condition, much more than Bucket ever had, but they didn’t come close to the bond you shared with Huck.

You knew that he wouldn’t judge you, for even your most embarrassing secrets, and thoughts.

He was a real friend in that way.

“Tell me” he prompted, using the guiss of his profession to get you to talk to him, though you both knew that this was more of a personal suggestion than a professional one. He wanted to bond with you, to help you be better in a real way, but it wasn’t really that easy.

Getting you to open up to him in that way would require him giving away all of his own secrets.

You sighed again, of course.

The two of you had a lot of history between you in all the time you’d been living here but in regards to the feelings you shared for one another, you just didn’t talk about it. It was much easier to just dance around them, avoiding speaking it into life at all costs.

Both of you were too terrified of rejection to put yourselves out there.

“Why do you come here to see me every day? I mean, you don’t bring anything or need to take the time out? What is it about me?” you asked, trying your best to keep your wits about you, desperately avoiding making a fool out of yourself.

From where you were sitting, it seemed like Huck could leave at any time and never come back. It just seemed like you were reading too much into this and you were scared that you were going to ruin the whole relationship you had going.

You were friends.

If you made some kind of suggestion here that offended him, there was a good chance you would hardly see him around here at all.

Huck seemed taken aback by your question at first, partially because he hadn’t been expecting it, and mostly because he wasn’t sure how to answer. After all, he knew exactly what it was about you and why he was sitting here right now, but putting it into words was hardly easy.

He hadn’t been expecting to get into this today.

“I guess I like your company” he decided, figuring that would be the best way to say it without offending you somehow. Huck wasn’t blind to the reality of what he was, or what he looked like, and he was terrified to suggest what he was thinking.

After all, a woman like you had no real reason to ever give a man like him the time of day.

He had seen himself in the mirror. Huck was well aware of what he looked like, and he was hardly a male model. At this point in his life, he considered himself lucky to be alive, and didn’t think too much about what he looked like, until now.

Where you were concerned, he was painfully aware of his outward appearance.

The two of you had that in common, because you couldn’t imagine any man, let alone a wonderful man like Huck ever falling for someone like you. It seemed as if, at this point, the only thing you two could agree on was the fact that you couldn’t admit how you felt.

It was hardly ideal.

“Well, I enjoy your company too” you smiled, content to leave it at that. However, Huck wasn’t quite ready to just call it there.

As terrified as he was to do what he was about to do, it seemed like if there was ever going to be a time to do it, it was now.

The two of you had been doing this whole thing, dancing around your feelings for each other for months, and he didn’t want to do it anymore.

He had to know if you felt the same, and your admission just now seemed like the push he’d been waiting for.

“This might be a little forward, and forgive me if it is, but would you like to join me for dinner tonight?” Huck tried, fidgeting light with his fingers as he did his best to get the words out.

This feeling was new for him.

He was used to being uncertain sometimes and uncomfortable with certain situations but this was something else entirely.

It actually felt like his heart may burst out of his chest, it was beating so fast.

...and you weren’t much better.

The idea of what he was asking you was insane. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to, of course, dinner with Huck sounded amazing.

There was just one problem.

You couldn’t exactly hit the town whenever you felt like it.

“I would love to, but you know as well as I do that I can’t just waltz out the door” you reminded, once again put in your place.

Huck could go out and get anyone he wanted. It just didn’t make sense that he wanted to wait around here with you. You could hardly imagine how something like that would even work.

Thankfully, Huck was already way ahead of you.

He already spent more time here than he did anywhere else, and making a few adjustments to his plans on your account wasn’t going to kill him.

If it meant that the two of you could be together, he would do whatever he had to.

“You let me worry about that” he hummed, not even bothering to hide the huge grin on his face. After all this time, he’d finally done it.

Huck got the date.

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mediocre-writerr · 3 years

Text

don’t let me let you go [katherine pierce]

katherine pierce x fem reader

requested: Hi! Sorry, can I request a Katherine Pierce x Fem!Reader?

Maybe where reader is a powerful being, well since demons are real in that universe, maybe a fallen angel? Or something along those lines, and they met along somewhere where Kat was still on the run, so they like hooked up but Kat promises that they'll meet again soon and makes the reader promise that they should be safe as well?

And then years later they accidentally meet up at a party, started dating and Kat is actually soft when it comes to reader. Elena and the gang barge into Katherine and Reader doing something fluffy because they were actually hunting down Katherine since they think that Reader is her next victim or whatever.

Thank you in advance!

*not my gif*

So you left.

Katerina Petrova was how you knew her. Still know her at least, she hasn’t really left your mind since then.

And that was back in 1764.

You could feel what she was. She wasn’t human and her compelling tricks made no match for you. She was arrogant like most vampires were, but she slipped past all your defenses and fell in love with her, no matter how “wrong” it was back then.

“Lady Katerina Petrova, this is Lady Y/N Y/L/N. She’s the owner of the great estate. Her family actually passed recently in a terrible sunken ship, somehow Y/N survived.” one of your noblemen introduced the two of you, after you sensed she was a vampire.

She eyed you carefully and you just smiled at her. Before whispering a ‘thank you’ to the man. The two of you embarked into a formal conversation until you were the only ones left in the room.

“So what are you?” she asked, bluntly.

You chuckled softly, intrigued by the beautiful brunette, “You don’t skip the niceties now do you?” you asked.

“Niceties aren’t my thing,” she shrugged.

“Neither are they mine.”

You were snapped out of your vivid memory when Stefan waved his hand in front of you. You shook your head and he just laughed at you.

“I think they’re here.” he whispered. You and the rest of the gang were at Mystic Falls Grill waiting for Caroline to come back to introduce you to someone who has been blackmailing and torturing them for a couple years now.

You recently moved to Mystic Falls and Stefan felt how different you were compared to everyone else. So he confronted you just like every other supernatural you’ve met in the past how many years.

From there he introduced you to the rest of the gang: annoyingly arrogant, yet good looking brother Damon, pretty blonde Caroline, supernatural hunter, yet working with supernatural beings Alaric, selfless, doesnt get enough credit witch Bonnie, and lastly, the one who looked like a split image of the one who got away Elena.

They thought you’d be a great asset to them, seeing how you can see how/when someone dies and how any supernatural being can be killed. Just one of the perks of being a fallen angel. You reluctantly agreed to help them and they want to know your take on how to kill this person named Katherine Pierce.

You lifted up your head to see her. It wasn’t Elena, you knew that for a fact. Because Elena has been here the entire time. Her hair was in looser curls nowadays and her wardrobe certainly changed as well. But it suit her, the confident bold woman you knew, wearing a black leather jacket and jeans.

Her eyes landed on yours and she remained her natural composed self, “Katherine, this is Y/N Y/L/N, she just recently moved to Mystic Falls.”

“So what are you?” she asked, bluntly.

You chuckled softly, your first conversation popping back in your brain, “You don’t skip the niceties now do you?”

“Niceties aren’t my thing.” and you could tell she’s fighting back a smile of her own.

“Neither are they mine.”

After the rest of the day of Katherine picking fights with everyone, but you. You excused yourself to the bathroom while they were pressing Katherine for what she really wants here.

Memories flashed into your kind again causing you to become lost in thought as you washed your hands.

“Goodnight Katerina. Sleep well.” you said, formally at her doorway. You were about to turn back around when she called out after you.

“Y/N, come in please,” she said.

You smiled to yourself softly, as you made your way into her room. You closed the door behind you as you sat next to her on the foot of her bed.

“Do you mind helping me take this off? The zipper’s stuck and I suppose my arms don’t reach that far back,” she suggested.

She looked at you with pleading eyes and you nodded softly. Slowly, unzipping her zipper and you did what you thought you’d never do in your life. Be bold.

You kissed the bare skin that became exposed on her back. She turned her head to look back at you and you could see the lust filling her eyes. She stood up and you followed her movement as the dress fell to the floor like a puddle.

And that’s when she turned you around, repeating the same actions you took. The only thing left on the two of you were the corsets. She cupped your cheeks ever so slightly.

“Are you sure about this?” this was probably the first time you’ve ever seen her gently and soft-spoken, “You’re a very beautiful girl Y/N, many more suitors are worthy of your love. Much more better suitors with their name and money.”

You pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, savoring in the way she tastes. The way her lips were so soft against yours, “What I’ve learned in my entire lifetime on this Earth and being a fallen angel is that falling in love with someone is falling in love with their soul. Not their money or their name, their soul.”

Yet another comforting kiss was pressed to her lips, “And I never found that. Until you, Katerina.”

You thought you were alone as you watched your hands when you could feel a presence behind you. In the mirror you could see her leaning her back against a bathroom stall.

“It’s been a while,” she spoke up and you nodded.

“A few thousand years, give or take.” you joked and she chuckled along with you.

She took a step closer to you, tucking the hair to behind your ears. You mirrored her images, following a step forward. The two of you only a breath apart.

“You kept your promise?” she asked you, moving her hands to cup your cheek. As if she was trying to memorize every little feature. From the way your eyes lit up at the sight of her or the way you were melting under her touch.

It was the morning after you and Katerina expressed your feelings for one another. In a more untraditional, intimate kind of way.

She was singing you a soft song in another language, which you’re assuming is Bulgarian. And the usual confident girl was playing with your hair, looking at your beautiful sleeping figure. She didn’t want to wake you up, but she was unsure if any of the workers were looking for you.

Then there was the fact that she had to go. She didn’t want to leave you, but earlier that night her insight told her Klaus was coming. She had to get as far away as she possibly could. So she pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

Your eyes fluttered up, smiling at the girl in front of you. But then ultimately frowning when you saw the same frown on her face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked softly.

“I must go Y/N. I’ve done things, things people don’t like. And they’re coming after me, so we must part ways. For my safety and yours.” she said and you look at her with eyebrows furrowed, “I promise you Y/N, the only I want right now is to lay here with you. Compel all these people and live our immortal lives, but I need to go.”

“Katerina, no,” your voice barely above a whisper.

She kissed your forehead, then your cheeks, the top of your nose, and finally your lips, “I promise you, I’ll find you one day. We’ll be together. But you need to promise me to stay safe. I would like you to be alive and well and waiting for me when I return.”

You didn’t know where this path would lead you. Every other path looked so certain, but this one was blurry. Yet, you nodded, “I promise, I’ll wait forever for you.”

“I did. I’d wait forever for you Katerina.”

She wrapped your arms around you and you did the same, holding the slightly taller girl closer to you. Relishing in the feeling of her touch, something you haven’t felt in thousands of years.

She swayed the two of you back and forth, “How about we go to the place I’m staying at?”

“Right now?” youvasked and she just hummed in response, “Let’s go.”

It probably wasn’t the best idea for you to not answer your phone when you left or to give them a heads up that you were heading home. But the gang became worried when you didn’t come back from the bathroom and Katherine disappeared as well.

But you were fine. You were just in a state of bliss. The way the two of you were just cuddled up in bed. Your head resting on her chest as she just held you, playing with the soft strands of your hair.

You began to fall asleep as she sang you the same Bulgarian song she once sang. Your eyes closed as you focused on her heartbeat and soothing voice.

Until someone came barging in through the door. Your eyes shot back open and the gang was standing there waiting to fight. Except for Bonnie who was shocked at what she was witnessing

Katherine groaned, “Can you all just go away? She’s not in any harm, I swear.”

“Wait. How do you know each other?” Alaric asked.

You knew she would handle this so you just continued to keep lying in the spot without saying a word, “We’ve met before, long before the two of you.” she pointed at the two brother.

“So are you two a thing?” Caroline asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

And you finally spoke up, “Yeah. We promised to wait for each other until we could actually meet again.”

“But she’s an actual bitch!” Damon exclaimed.

“Maybe in your eyes, Damon. But Katerina has a strong beautiful soul who has lost many things. I’m very willing to give all my love to her.” you told them.

All of them looked skeptic like she just compelled you. Until Bonnie finally spoke up, “Whatever you do Y/N, we’ll respect your decisions,” she said and you smiled at her gratefully.

Stefan took a few steps closer, “You hurt her in any way, I will not hesitate to stake you in the heart myself.”

Katerina didn’t say anything. All she did was stare right back at Stefan, “Can you guys please go now? You’re making the room smell like some weird stench.” The gang left much to Damon’s hesitation, “Now where were we?”

You got comfortable again in her strong embrace. She smiled at you softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, as she returned to sing the Bulgarian song.

“I love you, my Katerina.” you mumbled, lazily as your eyes fell close.

So you missed the wide smile that formed onto her face and the way her whole eyes were lit up. She hugged you back, tighter than ever, “And I love you, my beautiful soul.”

#the vampire diaries imagines #the vampire diaries #katherine pierce imagine #katherine pierce x reader #katherine pierce

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