“And if he felt he had to direct you, then direct you into my arms…”

“And I believe in Love. And I know that you do too. And I believe in some kind of path. That we can walk down, me and you.” (“Into my arms” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds)

This post was written in a sleep deprived and depressed state of mind. So, I guess, I have to put a trigger warning on the following 8 paragraphs (abuse, child loss, disability, disease, general feelings of hopelessness) I’m sorry… I really am. You know what? Just enjoy this amazing artwork and skip my whiny text…I only needed this to remind myself of breathing.

Ever since I fell head over heels for Severus Snape 21 years ago, I used my fantasies about him as my safety net, when my reality became too rough…too traumatic. He accompanied me through half of my life…helping me through so many horrible times, no matter how devastating they were.

Experiences of emotional and physical abuse? Severus was there to keep my mind safe (and he still is, when my brain gets triggered again).

Miscarriages…so many miscarriages…Severus was there, helping me to cope with my grief.

Pregnancies full of sorrows and anxiety…being ordered to complete bed rest in hospital for months…Severus was in my thoughts all day…keeping me focused on my purpose, to get my children through these pregnancies safely.

Dealing with extremely prematurely born twins on my own as a single mother…well, Severus inspired me to believe in my own strength….protecting my children at all costs.

Times with severe health issues and disabilities, too many surgeries, pain and fears…well, you might guess it: It was Severus, who made me believe in my resilience.

And now, that I’m struggling with this cruel monster ME/CFS, having lost the life, I knew before…Severus is still here with me. I’m clinging on him, I’m dreaming of him, I’m writing for him….because if I wouldn’t do that, I would just break down and drown in my despair. And, gosh, I know how pathetic that sounds…believe me, I do! But it’s him, who keeps me going…who keeps me safe from losing my goddamn mind!

I’m absorbing this fucking (literal) darkness around me…and it is starting to eat me alive. I can’t leave my house, I can’t leave my dark room, most of the times I can’t even leave my bed…and the worst thing is, that I can’t leave my weak, diseased body and my fucked up mind. And yes…when my mind is getting too dark, too exhausted, I need Severus to remind me, that I mustn’t leave my life…that I mustn’t leave my three beloved children!

So…I’ll do, what I’ve always done in these past 21 years. I’m dreaming myself away…right into his arms. Severus was, is and will always be my safe haven, my shelter.

I’ve commissioned the lovely @hannisimp for exactly this little piece of comfort…this small moment of peace for my troubled heart and soul. My dear, please take my apologies for writing such a pathetically weak post beneath your beautiful drawing of Severus and Julia. But rest assured, Lin, your artwork brought a little light to my darkness and a smile to my face. Thank you so much for everything!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

Newt | Peeta

Fake Cryptids, Real Ghosts

Ok, so dp x dc/batfam because this AU has me by the throat but what if it's the fake cryptid batfamily AU who never joined the JL.

Just...imagine it. The Batfamily has been protecting Gotham quietly but fiercely by scaring the daylights out of criminals as creatures that go bump in the night. A bit of stage magic, frightening method acting, contortion, a whole language comprised of chirps, growls, and body language, and the best tech possible and you've got a recipe for striking fear into the hearts of everyone.

They've got shrines on the rooftops, vaguely on the JL radar (Cause really, who's gonna believe that Gotham, one of the worst cities has a demon problem? Constantine? Homeboy took one look at Gotham and went Nope.) and they're protected cause any self respecting Gothamite wouldn't go spilling the beans to Outsiders. The Bats keep them safe. Who would believe them anyways?

Enter half dead, half alive Danny Fenton.

Danny Fenton who has a best friend's named Tucker and Sam who find out about the Gotham Cryptids, and go absolutely ham on research because here lies something,a bunch of someone's who are Other. Maybe they're creepy but they're cool and they're Heroes and they help people.

Sure, at first it was an attempt from Sam and Tucker to help their best friend feel less alone in the face of other, more 'normal' heroes and people out there in the world. Maybe they try to further bury the Bats online cause if anyone understands keeping on the down low, it would be Amity Parker's. For awhile, Danny Fenton, sometimes Phantom is simply happy to know he's not alone.

Then he's outed and his sister who's long since been ecto-contaiminated is put at risk there's nowhere that seems safer. Gotham is a chaotic city, even without the Bats factoring in. After all Gotham has (Demons-Spirits-Creatures?) The Bats already. Who would care if a halfa and his sister hide out there? As long as they're respectful of their territory, it'll be fine right? Besides, they've got to warn the Bats anyways about the GIW and government. They're coming after ghosts, who knows if they'll be next? Spooky things have to look out for each other after all.

Cue shenanigans as Phantom who stops hiding all of his creepier traits as a ghost walks up to the Totally Human but Faking it Batman with really thoughtful gifts for all of their shrines (And one fruitcake), no heartbeat and an earnest plea for a safe haven in their Haunt because the Ancients taught him manners and the importance of respecting another entities territory.

seems I need to clarify but, yes, I know what Riordan intended to say or do within scene x, y, or z and I know what Riordan intended to achieve with certain plot points, my interpretations are born from how badly he executed it all. hope that helps!

You are perfect, every time.

strap in for this week's fic flavor: the failsafe episode of season one of the young justice cartoon except the simulation just won't. fuckin. end.

(fics that inspired this at the end)

If I ever did sit down to make my own fic, I'd split it in 3 parts:

The Simulation: bits and pieces of the 40 years Dick lives after most everyone he knows has died

The Return: the immediate aftermath and healing from the trauma of having not-quite-actually lived a whole life only to wake up and find out it was all fake. nothing traumatizing about that whatsoever.

The Unintended Consequence: aka the twist I'd love to add and would hint to in the second part - finding out the simulation, through martian mind fuckery, pulled from the real world (and in many cases, from real minds). Dick meets a bunch of people he didn't think were real outside the confines of his simulated life. A bunch of rowdy, heroism-inclined teens across the years get to meet the sibling/friend/mentor figure they all dreamed up one night.

(actual idea snippets under the cut)

.

Dick Grayson is 14 and most of the world's heroes have died. He planned a suicide mission that left him the sole survivor of a doomed team he helped found. The invasion may have been stopped, but is this really the price he wanted to pay?

The first face he sees in the infirmary is Roy's, and he has to close his eyes and just breathe for a few minutes because for one painful moment he'd thought it was Wally. But this isn't the world where his best friend miraculously survived alongside him. This is the one where he got his best friend killed and didn't even give him the courtesy of following behind him. Behind them.

.

Dick Grayson is 27 and has lived longer without Bruce than with him. The invasion's anniversary is always a tough day for him, but that morning seems especially harrowing. He'll get shit for it later, but can't resist stepping out onto the balcony of the manor's master bedroom (Bruce's old bedroom) for a smoke -- his first since he'd promised to quit if Jason, just 15 then, did too.

"Bad habits tend to pile up," he'd said, a rueful quirk to his tired grin. He'd tapped the cigarette twice on the railing and added, lower, "and this one's especially nasty, huh."

He inhales, watches the sun creep across the horizon, and lets acrid smoke burn through his lungs for a long moment before blowing it out in a small cloud. His eyes water, but he doesn't cough. It tastes just as bad as it did the first time he smoked one, not even a year after the invasion and treading water as Robin proved insufficient.

There hadn't been enough heroes to go around then, and Dick had been trained by one of the best. It hadn't been fair, but it had been his plan that had ultimately stopped the invasion. His shoulders everyone's expectations fell on.

He takes another drag, then smudges the lit end against the rail he's leaned on when he hears a boot scuff purposefully against the roofing above him.

"Todd and Pennyworth will be upset with you."

He doesn't turn around. Damian doesn't jump down to join him.

.

Dick Grayson is 54 and wakes up in a room full of ghosts. He hears his long-dead father-figure tell his long-dead team about a simulation they weren't meant to win. A training exercise gone wrong and only half a day spent under their mentors' careful, if slightly panicked, supervision.

He looks at his hands, watching the way his gloves crease when he flexes them in and out of tight fists. He looks at his team, their eyes a little haunted but shoulders slumped with relief even as they grumble. Batman's heavy, gloved hand settles on his shoulder and the weight of it is a nauseating mix of foreign-familiar.

He opens his mouth. Closes it.

Tears prick his eyes behind his domino mask, and he tells himself the suffocating, acidic void building in his chest is just some leftover side effect of the ordeal and not the grief-guilt of outliving yet another family (no matter that they hadn't been real in the end).

.

Dick Grayson is 16-going-on-56 and well used to the coincidences piling up between his simulated life and the real thing. Some of it -- missions and villains he remembers cropping up -- he's marked for Bruce to review and sort as he pleases. Some -- security for the cave, team building anecdotes, and training regimens -- he's shared with the team. And some he keeps only for himself.

Tim is one of those. He knows it's not fair to the kid (so much smaller now than he ever was when Dick lived his simulated life), but he can't help being selfish just for this. Tim is the one kid he's sure he didn't make up, and if Dick's taken to babysitting the kid just to be near at least one member of the family he built for himself in the wake of the worst days of his life .... Well, anyone who says shit about it can happily stand in line to have their teeth kicked in.

Despite this, it still catches him off-guard when he sees a familiar face pop up in one of Bruce's reports.

Jason Todd, caught boosting tires off the batmobile, is nearly the same age now as he was when Dick met him. He stares at the words, but none of them really sink in beyond the kid's name and address. He's moving before he's even made the decision.

He's used to the world kicking him when he's down - lived it for 40 frustrating years. But he has Bruce again. And things with Tim have been so good. And he's always been selfish when it comes to family. If he could just see Jason. If he could just meet him. If he could talk to him.

If if if if if--

.

Inspirations:

Circles in Shattered Mirrors by InfinityIllusion

Fine (But Not Okay) by CharlotteDaBookworm

Verisimilitude by mutemelody

the specific flavor of greyjoy family trauma starts with quellon greyjoy and i know it. you will not sit there and tell me that balon, euron, victarion, and aeron were just like That and it didn’t begin with him. i know what you did quellon you can’t hide

Sometimes you’re about to drop into a mission and your bandolier just doesn’t have enough pouches for your things smh

+++

Kallus and Corporal Pao from @hixystix’s fabbbbulous Kallus x Zeb fic A Safe Haven

Been rereading it and it’s just so good! If you like Kalluzeb I’d highly recommend this fic! Kallus and Zeb are so well-characterized and really all of them are and and…it makes my little shipping heart go brrrr

(rated E so mind the rating if that ain’t your thing)

Can't stop giffing Thomesa :') For @thomesa-week day 6: the small hours of the morning. And for once this is my own poem!

UMM— you still doing Vampire Clive btw?? 🥺👉👈

oh you got it!! here's my beloved vampire clive AU, he's set in a crossover with the world of darkness (vampire: the masquerade) and he's clan lasombra !! he was embraced as a journalist by a vampire dimitri while investigating the mystery behind his parents' suspicious deaths and stumbling on a major government conspiracy (it involves vampires. it's unwound future but with vampires 🧛) anyway even though he's dead now he's even MORE pissed off and still plotting to destroy everything and everyone so watch out!!

silly thought but ninjago actor au behind the scenes, skylor is singing along to 'i kissed a girl' by katy perry and when the line '"i hope my boyfriend dont mind it" she points at kai and the camera cuts to kai sitting on cole's lap braiding his hair.

“Did I save you? 'Cause I know you saved me too!”

“If you cried out for more, if you reached out for me, I would run into the storm, just to keep you here with me.” (“Song #3” by Stone Sour)

When I fell head over heels for Severus Snape, 21 years ago, a repeating pattern emerged in my life: He was always by my side, accompanied me through these years with all my ups and downs. But when I’m struggling with the most traumatic experiences, my mind is shutting down completely…leaving only space for Severus.

In these times, I’m clinging on Severus as if I’d be drowning without him….and this is probably exactly what would happen to me, if I hadn’t Severus as my safe haven in my heart and in my mind! It’s his resilience…his stoic and stubborn determination…his bravery, that keeps me focused on my own destiny…that keeps me determined to stay alive.

I must admit, that I’m struggling hardly with my current situation. Being captured in my weak self…only allowed to live a life in the darkness of my little room…makes me want to break out of this nightmare.

My life before ME/CFS wasn’t the easiest…it was a real “shit show” in some ways, but there were and are also things, that I never wanted to miss out. But it’s getting harder to keep these things vivid for me…everything is slowly fading away.

I miss my life as it was before this goddamn disease ME/CFS destroyed everything for me! I miss my job as a social worker…I miss being active with my three amazing children…I miss reading books and watching movies, whenever I wanted to do it (not only every few weeks or actually months, when I dare to risk falling into another crash for this little piece of joy)…I miss driving my car…I miss leaving my house without someone on my side, who needs to guide me (my disorientation, caused by noises, lights and motions, is a real pain in the ass!!!!)…I miss being touched by another person without screaming internally from pain…I miss making my own decisions!! I miss myself!

Severus saved me from going insane in so many different traumatic situations before….and I really hope, that I’ll be able to keep on counting on him forever…because right now, it’s getting almost unbearable to stay alive.

So, I’ll keep on doing the little things, which are currently saving me from drowning in my darkest, dangerous thoughts. I’ll keep on trying to be a good mother, even though I can only do it in my restricted space. I’ll keep on talking or texting to my few friends, even though it’s almost impossible for me to talk on some days. And I’ll keep on clinging on Severus, writing my own words for him in so many ways.

I have a real soft spot for young Severus. My imaginations of saving him…protecting him…defending him are helping me to believe in my own strength. I would do anything to save him…just the way, I’m trying to be saved by him from my own misery.

I’ve commissioned the extremely talented @sleepybradipo for this beautiful artwork of Sevy and Jules, stealing some kisses in the back of the library (Jules doesn’t have any self-control when it’s about Severus 😅).

@sleepybradipo, I’m so weak for your smooth style of drawing Severus, especially in his teenage years. Your art helps me to feel even more connected to Sevy…allowing him and Jules to enjoy some moments of peace. Thank you for making my imagination come to life…and for bringing some light into my darkness.

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

archer really takes the approach of 'i'm the most sane person in this organization that's why i keep it together for them' while possibly being the worst in terms of mental state especially post-hgss

y'all dont understqnd im obsessed wih him

[Image Description: Marian Churchland's Dragon Age OC template filled out with Isiik Lavellan, a dalish warrior Inquisitor. Isiik is shown from the waist up, looking warily to the side and crouching slightly. In his right hand, he holds his sword angled up and ready to attack. His left hand is braced out in front of him, the mark glowing a bright green. He is wearing a purple scarf draped over a dark purple jacket with puffy sleeves that end just past his elbows. The jacket tucks into high-waisted brown pants. Under the jacket he is wearing a pale yellow shirt. He has a shield on his back, the strap of which crosses his chest. He is wearing a glove missing its pointer and thumb fingers on his right hand. His dark reddish-brown hair is pulled back in a short ponytail except for two strands that hand on either side of his face. He has Dirthamen's vallaslin, which has smooth, flowing lines on his forehead, cheeks, chin, and along the length of his nose. He is frowning slightly and his brow is furrowed. His long elfin ears are nearly perpendicular to his head, causing him to appear slightly nervous or on edge. He has a pale scar that goes across his lips, reaching from the bottom of his chin to nearly reaching his nose and bisecting some of the vallaslin on his chin. He has heavy bags under his eyes. In the background, faint green lightning fans out from the mark. Next to his head are the words "wow this place is a freakshow. i dont respect literally any of you people." Below the quote is an attribution to "-Neopets User, 2017". Below the drawing, several traits are listed with a line between them to mark where the character falls between the two. Between cautious and reckless, Isiik is very cautious; between selfless and self-serving, he is more self-serving; between emotion-driven and logic-driven, he is more logic-driven; between forthright and dissembling, he is more dissembling; between friendly and unfriendly, he is more unfriendly; between devout and questioning he is extremely devout; and between trusting and suspicious he is very suspicious. Below the traits is a list of his main party: Cole, The Iron Bull, and Vivienne or Solas. Below that, there are a series of symbols that indicate which choices he made throughout the game. The first three indicate he is a sword-and-shield-wielding warrior, who chose the Champion specialization, and romanced no-one. The next row of five indicates he sided with free mages, left Hawke in the fade, preserved the Gray Warden order, gave the Orlesian throne to Gaspard with blackmail to benefit Briala, and drank from the Well himself. End of Image Description]

Ok! Last but not least here's Isiik (pronounced iz-ick), my Inquisitor! He has probably had the MOST change since my first playthrough. He is now an extremely jaded guy who is very much here against his will and refuses to let anyone forget that. His number one goal is getting shit fixed so he can go home and be left alone. The only person he gets along with is Cole and, at times, The Iron Bull. Nearly everyone else has said something to upset him and he holds grudges like a true champion. Basically, I'm living out my 'let me be a hater' feelings through him.

Currently, I'm designing him to be Intersex and Hard of Hearing. I am not part of either of these communities myself so I'm doing my best to research and portray these parts of him as best as possible since I really want to get this right. If anyone has any good suggestions for designing a character with these traits, please know advice, feedback, and critiques are always appreciated :]

Flat versions under the cut, since this post is already too long~

[Image Description: The same drawing as in the first image, though this time without the background or shading, making the colors easier to pick out. In the first of the two drawings, the glowing green mark remains, in addition to a glare on his sword. In the second image, both of those are removed, though a white gash remains where the mark is located. End Description.]

As always, relevant stuff will be in the replies. Thank you for the kind words and such, folks :]

some photos of seafir, caspian & river’s home:-)