#he wants to be better because he knows she deserves the best
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like she used to (II)
alexia putellas x sister.
chapter I
~~~~~~
My fingers are dancing on the piano keys, the soft melody leaving my mouth in a quiet hum when Alba walks into my room that night. My mouth closes as the door opens, but my fingers are unstoppable, continuing to abuse the keys as I continue to play the song.
My hands rest on the last keys I pressed when I am done and I think Alba is crying, unless she suddenly has allergies. It is quiet for a few moments before she speaks.
"If you weren't so good at football I would try and convince you to do this forever."
She sighs, standing up and motioning for me to follow her as she laid on my bed. I move beside her, my head now resting on her shoulder.
"I remember when you first played the piano." She smiles, reminiscing on the fond memory. "You were three, you couldn't reach the pedals but you insisted that Papi taught you something. You made us all squish onto the sofa in his office so we could listen to you play and you gave us a very slow and broken version of La Vaca Lechera. It was terrible but Papi was so proud because you had only been playing for a month and could already play with both hands. He picked you up and claimed that you would be the greatest piano player to ever walk the planet. He would be so proud of his pequena superestrella."
"I wish I knew him." They're the only words I can bring myself to say.
"He was a very good man, I miss him a lot. He would have been so proud of Ale with all her football and so proud of you with it too. And your piano. Mami sometimes says to me that you are a mini him."
I realise she is avoiding herself, a habit she got herself into a few years ago, when I followed in Alexia's footsteps by securing my spot in La Masia. She used to be upset, it was unfair. Why had the football gene just skipped her?
"He would be proud of you as well, Alba."
She shrugs, I think she tries to blinks away tears but doesn't succeed because one lands on my head
"I hope so..." she pauses. "It is harder for me to imagine because I am not outstanding at anything like you and Alexia. I am just Alba which is ok but I just don't know what he would be proud of me for."
"There is no such thing as 'just Alba' because you are the best person I know. You don't need to play football for him to be proud of you. Do you realise you are the person we all go to when we need anything? When I am sad, Alba, when I am happy, Alba, when I want to laugh, Alba, when I want to cry, Alba. You are my answer for everything, hermana. That is better than any song on the piano or the biggest trophy there is to be won."
"You are so cute, I love you." She giggles quietly and wraps her arms around me. "Aitana called me earlier and I wanted to come over and make sure you are ok."
"What did she say?"
"Not much, she just asked if everything was ok between you and me and Ale. I didn't tell her the truth, if you were wondering."
"What did you say?"
"I just said that Alexia is struggling with her injuries and that you both are very busy. I don't think she really believed me. Either that or she knows there is something else going on."
I groaned. "She kept giving me looks as we were driving home and it was annoying."
"It's sweet, she's looking out for you." Alba smiles and ruffles my hair. "You are only a little baby to them. 15 is young, pequena!"
"Yeah, well it'd be nice if my own sister did that, wouldn't it." I snap back at her and she recoils slightly.
"You won't let me do anything about it, Elena, so don't get feisty with me! Alexia is complicated and I can't even get anything out of her." She rolls her eyes. Alba is sick of all of the tension. She has been for a while.
"I don't know what to say to her anymore. Does she even know that I was called up?"
"Mami said that she wasn't going to tell her because she wanted her to hear it from you."
"She had no problem telling me when Alexia got a new girlfriend." I'm petty about it, but sometimes I think I deserve to be.
"I cannot believe you still have not met Olga." Alba sighs, flopping back down onto my mattress. "She is very nice, I think you would like her."
"I am good at getting out of things." I shrug my shoulders and Alba rolls her eyes again. "I don't want to meet her."
"You liked Jenni so much, maybe this could be the same?"
"I still talk to Jenni, on the phone. Maybe we should start an anti- Alexia Putellas club."
Alba groans and sits up, causing me to grunt in annoyance as my head is knocked onto the mattress.
"You know I don't like all of this venom between you two, so please just leave me out of it. I've had enough of you not telling me what the problem is, I am so, so sick of it. You used to be so close that I was jealous of your relationship and now all you do is complain about each other to me." She flops back onto my mattress in frustration.
"You don't understand, Alb, you don't understand what it is like for someone you idolise to practically forget your existence. She used to come to all my games and now she doesn't even know I was called up." She rolls her eyes as I move back to the piano stall, ignoring the way my voice cracked and my eyes sting with tears.
"Mierda, Elena! How many times do I have to tell you? She has been so busy. I'm sure she has tried to get to them." Even Alba can't explain Alexia's absence.
"Si, si, you have said that before but you can't understand because she never forgot about you. You didn't used to have an older sister who used to drive you to all of your trainings and games before she decided she was too busy for you and shoved you on the Barcelona busses at the age of 11!" My fingers begin to ghost the keys. Like I said to Aitana, the piano is a good outlet for my emotions. I am glad Mami let me put Papi's old piano into my room. I don't think she is glad when I wake her up in the dark hours of the morning playing loud songs.
"I have an older sister and a younger sister who used to be close and then fell out. I have a father who is dead and a busy mother. We were indestructible, Elena, but look at us now."
My left hand finds a chord and presses down on the four keys, calming my brain down.
"I am sorry that you are hurt by what has happened between Alexia and I, but I am so upset and I don't know what to do."
Alba's eyes softened but I looked down at the keys in front of me, sighing softly as she sat next to me.
"I'm sorry I can't help you more. I don't truly know what happened, but I just want things to go back to the way they were."
"I want that too." A tear found it's way from the back of my eyes but I wiped it away before it had a chance to fall down my cheek.
My fingers picked up another tune, familiarity gracing through my fingertips, the sounds floating around the room. Alba's head rests on my shoulder again and we both tell ourselves it will be ok. Alba likes when I play the piano because if she closes her eyes she can pretend it is our father.
"He was never as good as you are, hermanita."
~~~~~~
The rest of the training week went well. Better than well, but I was mainly just relieved that I wasn't a big disappointment.
The negative of my good performance is that I will be put on the team list. Jonatan pulled me aside after training today and told me I am on it and I thanked him with a smile, hiding my emotions.
I knew my sister was going to find out sooner or later. I'm honestly surprised it has taken her this long, it is not like she has been completely absent from the training grounds. Aitana seems to be the only one who has noticed that me and Alexia have not spoken, but she still has not got anything out of me.
I tell Mami to lock the doors and windows when the team list comes out because I don't want to face Alexia when she inevitably comes over and asks about it. She tells me to stop being ridiculous.
I manage to lock myself in my room when I hear her car coming up the driveway. As soon as she is in the house I climb out the window and walk to the bus stop. I don't want to deal with her tonight. I don't want to deal with her ever, to be honest.
The bus driver smiles at me as I tap on, heading to the back of the bus, no destination in mind. I am happy to just sit there as it drives through my home. My phone is unsurprisingly buzzing of the hook, full of congratulatory messages from friends and family and strangers and fans.
Aitana: *attachment: 1 file* very very proud of you! congrats little lena.
She had screenshotted the team list and put a big heart around my name and I think that might be what started to tears.
But before I knew i could see tears tracking down my face in my reflection as I stared out the window, my mind just wishing that things were normal. Wishing that I was at home celebrating with my family, excited to finally be on the same team as my older sister. I wish I wasn't crying on a bus trying to escape confrontation with my sister who I know will be disappointed that I am on her team.
But this is how it is.
I find myself getting off the bus outside the park near the training grounds, still not sure where I am going. I was considering heading in, practicing my shooting or going to the gym, although I expect they will be closed.
What I don't expect is to hear someone calling out to me.
"Pequena Putellas!" The voice is familiar and I recognise it almost immediately. "What is my little replacement doing out so late in the middle of Barcelona?"
Mapi reached me quickly despite the crutches that she doesn't seem to be relying on too heavily.
"Congratulations, replacement! First team sheet-" she stops when she sees my face. "oh."
"Hola Mapi." I put on a smile but it is a weak effort. "I'm just heading home."
"Si, this is about you and Ale, no?" I look at her curiously and she rolls her eyes. "You don't think I wouldn't have noticed? She is my best friend!"
"And that is why I can't talk to you! I have to go home because they will be looking for me." She rolls her eyes again.
"You are coming over to my house and we are talking about this like grown-ups because you are now a professional athlete. You are not a grown up but you have grown up since I saw you last pequena!" She smiles lightly and uses one arm to pull me into a hug. It is awkward with her crutches. "I have missed you so much." Her words are mumbled quietly into my hair, her arms warming me with comfort and nostalgia.
Apparently, the new apartment Mapi has moved into with Ingrid is right across the road from the park so we walk back, Mapi getting increasingly frustrated as I become more and more reluctant.
"Maria, please just let me go home?"
She was adamant that she wanted to talk. I just think she wants to know what happened between me and Alexia but I can't tell her. She wouldn't understand. Nobody would understand because everyone would just think I'm being childish and petty. Maybe that's just what I am.
We stand in silence as the elevator takes us up the levels to the apartment.
"Ingrid is not home, she is out with Frido tonight so you do not have to talk to her."
I let out a quiet exhale in relief. Ingrid is nice enough from what I know of her in training but I don't want to have this unwanted conversation in front of anyone else.
Mapi and I used to be close. She was never my favourite but that is mainly because I saw her so often that the novelty of her had worn off quickly and I found myself gravitating away from her at trainings because, like Alexia, she was just always around.
But Mapi loved me like I was her little sister because she never had any of her own. She did a lot for me as a child and tried to pretend that she wasn't offended by my blatant favouritism of other players.
She sat down on the sofa in her living room as soon as she opened the door and I grabbed her crutches that she had thrown on the floor and stood them up against the wall.
"Thankyou, now sit here." She patted the seat beside her and I sat down, my arms crossed. "Do you want to tell me why you were crying alone in the middle of Barcelona, 45 minutes away from home?"
I shook my head.
"Will Mami be mad?" I hate the wobble in my voice.
"No, I texted her and told her you were with me and she said it is ok. She is not mad at you, pequena."
"I don't like being called that anymore." I slumped down in my seat.
"What do you want to be called?" I am surprised that she didn't ask why. I suppose it might be obvious.
"I usually just get called my name." I pause. "Elena."
She smiles lightly, though I can see the water in her eyes.
"I know your name. I know you very well, Lena, I have for a long time but I also know your sister very well and I know that there have been problems for a while now and I know that she is trying her very best to not make it obvious that it is ripping her up and you are doing a very bad job of hiding your sadness. Why did you not tell her you had been called up into the first team?"
I roll my eyes but choose not to respond.
"No, don't roll your eyes at me, peque- Elena. I understand something must have happened but it is big news that you neglected to tell her!"
"What is bigger news? Breaking up with your girlfriend or being called up as a replacement in a football team?"
She hesitated and I continued.
"Getting a new girlfriend or being called up as a replacement? Buying a dog or being called up as a replacement? Being told you are about to win the Ballon d'Or or being called up as a replacement? She told me nothing for so long so don't you dare try and tell me that I should tell her about my life when she does not care to tell me about hers!"
Mapi recoiled and I immediately felt guilty.
"Sorry."
"No, don't be sorry. What else has she done to make you upset?"
"No, Mapi, we're not doing this because you don't need to know about what my sister has done to me. I don't need a psychologist, I just need to grow out of being the pathetic and weak baby Putellas. The younger sister of La Reina who has not had to work hard because her pathway has already been paved and everything has been handed to her on a silver platter." My voice is bored, like I am in front of a class, presenting a boring speech that I have practiced in my bedroom for weeks.
"Why do you say that? Where is this all coming from?" Her voice raises slightly and her arms wave about as she speaks.
"Because it is true, Maria, why else would things be the way they are? I don't deserve this, it's only been given to me because of my surname." My voice is clearly becoming more urgent and I try to calm myself down. It doesn't work.
"Where are you getting this from? You need to stop making this stuff up in your head and telling it to yourself because it could not be further from the tr-" Mapi's voice was raised, only slightly, but I could hear the wobble in her voice.
"I am not telling myself this stuff, Alexia did! And Alexia is right, she always has been and she always will be. She is a football geek she knows everything."
Mapi pauses, her mouth opening like a goldfish and her eyes staring straight into mine for any hint of exaggeration or lies. She found none. I have never been a liar.
"She... she said that? To you?" Mapi was surprised. How could her best friend have said something like that to the little girl that meant the world to her? "Alexia said that to you?"
I regret my small outburst immediately; I didn't want to tell Mapi. My fingers begin to get restless, my heart racing, my gum held firmly between my teeth. It is in these moments that I would move to the piano and prepare myself to play a song. My fingers ghost imaginary keys by my side as I take a deep breath, preparing myself to beg and plead; to do whatever I need for Mapi to forget everything I just said.
"No, you cannot say anything, Maria, this is all a lie, I am dramatic, I am making it all up. Please, just forget I said anything. Please." Tears began to slip out of my eyelids and the expression on my face can only be described as desperation.
"calma, calma. vale. I will forget everything and I will not tell anybody, as long as you don't want me to. But pequenita, it is not true, not true at all and you don't deserve for anybody at all to speak to you like that. You are talented, so talented that I am jealous of you, not your natural talents but your work ethic, Elena, your work ethic is admirable. You are so strong and you have worked for every single opportunity you have been offered and do not ever-" I look away from her.
"Look at me, Elena, look." I look towards her again and notice the water in her eyes.
"Do not ever let anybody tell you otherwise and if you do you call me up immediately and they will get a piece of my mind, si?"
I slump into Mapi's familiar arms and let out a small cry and she just squeezes me harder. I haven't ever told anyone that much of the conversation I had with Alexia - not even Alba - and to hear her best friend attempt to squash any of the worries I had about myself was refreshing. My fingers begin to ghost imaginary piano keys, preparing to begin playing a piece.
"Was this before or after you transferred to La Masia? That is around when she stopped going to your games, no?" Her voice was soft and I felt the need to answer.
"It was during the party that Mami held, when my spot at the academy was accepted. That was the reason why I started crying when I was talking to you. You probably don't even remember that, it was so long ago." I let out a dry chuckle and she rubbed her hand down my back.
"I remember. I remember thinking you were not telling me the truth but I had no idea what was wrong. You have been suffering in silence ever since?"
I don't want to nod my head because it feels dramatic to say that.
"I told Alba only a little bit of it but nobody else knows. Please, please, please don't tell anybody. Not Mami, not Alexia, not anyone. Please." I looked up at her and she stared at me wordlessly for a few moments before exhaling softly.
"Elena..." She pauses again. "As much as I want to go and give your stupid sister a piece of my mind I will not but on the condition that you talk to Alba or your Mami or me or anyone about it, si? Even Alexia. Maybe she has forgotten. But she misses you, that much I can tell."
I nod, wordlessly making a promise that I know I can not keep. She seems to be satisfied though and changes the topic.
"vale, buena. It is too late to drive you home so you will stay here tonight and Ingrid and I will drive you to Johan tomorrow, si?"
I nod, I do not have a choice.
"Is there a piano in this apartment?"
~~~~~~
Mapi saying she had a piano is an overstatement, it is a keyboard with Norwegian inscriptions that was shoved into the corner of the unused study. Apparently Ingrid does not play the piano but has always wanted to learn.
But, I take the equipment for what it is and sit on the stall, flicking through the different sounds for a while before I find something I like. The office chair behind me squeaks as Mapi sits down but I ignore her presence as I place my fingers on the keyboard.
She would have noticed the release of tension in my shoulders when I sat down. She would have noticed the sigh of relief that I released as my fingers placed themselves on the keyboard.
The song starts out slow. Ludovico Einaudi is one of my favourite composers. His notes sing out from the keyboard speakers and soon they become faster and more intense. Nuvole Bianche is a pretty song, in my opinion, and I like to make up stories as I play it whenever I do. Sometimes I relate to the stories and other times I do not.
But the song builds and builds until a brief pause in the middle in which I hear Mapi sniffling and there is shuffling downstairs. Ingrid must have arrived home. The song picks back up quickly and before I know it the last few chords are ringing out through the room and Mapi has come to stand behind me and is rubbing her hand down my back.
"The last song you played me was un elefante se balanceaba and now you are playing this. You made us sing along and you went all the way to 50, we were in there for a long time. But now you have grown up. You are still so young but you have grown up now I am so proud of you."
I can hear the tears in her eyes so I stand up and pull her into a hug. I feel guilty, she is Alexia's best friend and I accidentally slipped what Alexia said which could potentially drive them apart. But I can't help but feel relieved, I feel comfort which is something I have been looking for for such a long time. Mapi used to be like a sister to me. I don't think I even realised how much I have missed her.
"That song was so hard!"
She chuckles into the hug and I do too.
Maybe I deserve to feel like this every once in a while.
~~~~~~
hope you enjoyed x
more coming in the next few days
#woso fanfics#woso#woso imagine#woso one shot#alexia putellas#alexia x reader#barcelona femeni#fcb femení#putellas!reader
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“I feel like I am getting fatter.”
My dear readers, I had decided to include prompts in my works as I thought this might cater to the readers of mine who prefers a shorter read. All of my prompts are my ideas (feel free to drop me any if you do have any in mind) and they will be based on my opinion of the boys :> I apologise if my writing may be offensive to some people but this is my take hence it would be nice if you could be more open-minded :,)
P.S: This fictional write is not meant to be a skinny-shaming/fat-shaming piece because I strongly believe no matter what size you are, you deserve to be loved by all! Personality triumphs over looks afterall!
Preview: An insight into what the boys think when you tell them that you feel like you’re getting plumper.
RAFAYEL
He just stares at you wildly; eyes widened, eyebrows raised to form arches, jaw opened slightly in a state of disbelief at what he had just heard coming out of your mouth. “How could you say such things to yourself?” He palmed his own face, shaking his head in suit. “You coming up to me and putting yourself down just because you think you’re chubby is ridiculous.” When he noticed that you did not say anything to rebut him, he walked closer to you, tilting your chin upwards so you may gaze into his orbs of nebulas. “You are not chubby in my eyes my love.”
“But, I just don’t like the way I look in the mirror Rafayel…” Your confidence had always been in a dip when it comes to your own body image. It especially affected you when recently, news regarding your relationship had taken a turn for criticism towards your body. You wanted to look compatible to your lover and you figured the best you could match him is if you own the body and curves of a runway model. “And, maybe, I just thought I might look better beside you if I am well…skinnier maybe?”
The man erupted a laughter, a genuine laughter of amusement when you told him that last bit of your concern. Rafayel is never the type to prey on one’s insecurity but when your determination to lose weight is based off of on pleasing his fans, he could not care less. “No my love, you do not have to lose weight just because some simpleton made some comments about your body. Come, let’s have a seat okay?” He tugged onto your wrist gently and then sat the both of you down onto the plush sofa of his. Plopping his head against the headrest, he turned his face to look at you. “Do you know back in the days, artists from ancient times prefer drawing women of flesh rather than bones?”
Seeing you hesitated to answer him, he continued on. “That is because bones equal to famine, flesh equals to well-fed my love. It is a sign of royalty. And you, I see nothing but a woman of royalty even if you do not see it yourself. The world nowadays are falling back on appreciating women with healthy bodies and I will always be here to assure you that in my eyes, you are not chubby. As you are to me, a sign of royalty which dates back to the ancient times and even till this day and age.”
Rafayel has always have a way with his words. That is the reason why you fell for him. At first, you may think satire is a part of his image, but eventually, you realised that this man spits euphemisms, and that his mockery never falls short of facts. He is very knowledgeable of the world and the way things work. “But if you still do want to lose weight, I shall do it with you as much as I hate working out. But no harm in keeping my princess fit as a fiddle if she wishes for me to join.” He blushes, eyes glanced away from yours for a moment when his mind flashed an image of you being all hot and bothered after a workout session.
“Thank you for saying that Rafayel. It really helps in calming down my nerves.” You smiled back at him, leaning your head against his shoulders and he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head.
“By the way, just so you know, I prefer drawing you in this ‘chubby’ state—as you would call it—because I think the curves of your body catches the sunlight beams very well and it makes you look ethereal.” Rafayel grins cheekily, fingers trailed against your jawline gently as he studied your features and allowing his imagination to run wild, already planning on his next piece of artwork featuring you, his one and only muse. This time, he shall also make it his statement piece to the haters that his love for you shall not run amok and perhaps, suggest a change in the world’s definition of beauty with his artwork.
XAVIER
“So, did anyone suggested that to you?” Xavier looked up from his plate, swallowing the piece of meat after he had finished asking his question. He had noticed recently when the both of you were on dates, you had been avoiding snacks and junk foods that you would never have resist before and that was when he decided to butt in to ask if you were on a diet and when you admitted it, the conversation was led up to this point. “Or, was it in your own head?”
“I realised it when we were doing the fitness assessment before the hunter’s task that day.” You explained, the fork pushing the pea on your plate, watching it rolled around in circles. During the assessment, everyone is required to get on the scale for a routine check and update for one’s personal records file. You remembered your confidence had started to plummet bit by bit when you noticed all the female hunters are averagely weighed below normal BMI weight.
Although no one was laughing at you as the scale announced your weight but you could almost taste the hint of embarrassment at the back of your throat as you stared at the numbers shown on the scale. You figured, a good hunter should not be overweight right? Or else how does one, being overweight, excel in physical tasks? Hence, you had decided to be harsh on yourself to lose weight for the sake of excelling in physical tasks and to fit in amongst your peers. “I am one of the few ones that probably exceeded the normal weight requirement for a hunter.”
“But you are still one of the best hunters among our division right?” Xavier was quick to catch up on one of your worries for being too overweight to complete physical tasks. “You should not worry much about your weight if you are actually pulling the weight of being a good hunter. Pun intended.” His pun made you pressed your lips tightly to form a thin line. It was funny but it was said at the wrong time.
“Then do you think I am chubby?” You raised an eyebrow and the blond man in front of you let go of his piece of meat and you watch the slice of meat slipped right into the bowl of spicy soup. This conversation is getting serious now if he is willing to overcook that piece of meat just to engage in this conversation.
“I never thought you were chubby. Other girls are just too skinny to my liking.” He placed his chopsticks aside and stared right at your face, cerulean orbs burning with underlying annoyance because of what you had said about yourself. “And I don’t think your weight affects your hunter skills as they are both separate entities by itself.” Humming to himself, his hand rubbed the base of his chin as he thought of what else to say to boost your confidence. “Speaking of which, skinnier girls do tend to end up meeting their demise faster than girls like your size.”
“What do you mean by that?” You watched as the man picks up the chopsticks and starts digging around the soup base for his missing piece of meat that is probably overcooked to his taste.
He shrugged casually. “They just look all the more fragile to me. Most of the ones that got admitted to the hospitals are the skinny ones that tends to get more broken bones and bruises even from fighting the easiest category of wanderers.” He shoved the meat into his mouth almost animation-like and started chewing. His face flashed a hint of disgust as he struggled to swallow the piece of meat down his throat. “My point is, as long as you are healthy and not easily bruised, nobody is going to care about your weight. But if they ever do, I know you can easily prove them wrong.”
Xavier is more of a motivational speaker type of boyfriend. Not because he does not want to comfort you, but he would much rather remind you of the strengths you already have and that you should not get easily discouraged by such a minute issue. Not to mention, although adorning the face of an angel, this boy here does make some pretty sarcastic remarks here and there. “Here, have some more meat, it might help you to lose weight. But it would also help you to gain more muscle which would be more helpful during combat rather than being a bag of bones.”
ZAYNE
“Just because you are sat down and you realised that you had ‘flaps’ does not make you fat y/n.” Zayne laid the tray beside you, taking a seat next to you in the hospital’s cafeteria. After the routine check-up with Zayne, it usually wraps up with you stepping onto the scale and the numbers on the scale are not showing your average weight anymore. Thus, your frown pointed towards the scale gave Zayne just enough of a hint for him to catch up on what was churning in your head. “Y/n?”
“I’m sorry, it just never came to my mind that I had gotten heavier since my last checkups.” You gnawed onto your bottom lip, fingers prancing along the material of your pants. “It does not help either when my colleagues said that I had gotten a bit bloated lately.” Sighing, you hid your face in your palms. “Not to mention, my boyfriend is a doctor, what an irony for you to date someone who isn’t physically healthy right?”
Zayne placed a box of milk in front of you, the one that you would always go for whenever you stop by his workplace. “Y/n, statistically speaking, your weight data is not considered overweight. Nor would it compromise your health in any manner. If it helps, you do not look fat to me.” The doctor glanced over to you, watching you as you only started reading the labels across the box milk instead of ripping it open to drink it like a maniac you always tend to be. “Are you planning to lose weight then?”
“I guess I am planning to. For the sake of my own health and the image of our relationship.” Zayne frowned slightly at your response but of course, being the husband material he is, he would do anything to make you healthy. Even if that means he does not necessarily agree with your standpoint.
“Wanting to be healthy would be a good start, but losing weight for the sake of our relationship’s image is not a good idea. I am glad to have someone healthy by my side.” His voice was comforting, his tone soothing to your ears. “I have another surgery scheduled in 20 minutes so I have to go now, but do not attempt to lose weight without me being around you. Do you think you can at least do me that favour?” He pushed his chair back and stood up, a hand placed on the top of your head in the form of a head pat. “I do not wish to see you jeopardising your own mental health over your weight.”
The doctor leaned down to kiss your forehead before he took the milk and placed it within your palms. His lips turned upwards into a gentle smile. “I will see you after work later.” And he went off, blending into the crowds in the crowded hallways. But it did not took long before your phone rang, and you received a call from a random number.
“Hi is this Miss y/n?” The feminine voice spoke on the other end. You agreed and introduced yourself, asking her what was the purpose of the call. “Dr.Zayne had asked me to set up an appointment with you for 3pm later so that we can go through your nutritional plan later. He told me that you wanted to lose weight don’t you?” You were nearly speechless when she said that. No wonder Zayne rushed off all of a sudden. He did not have a surgery scheduled, he only wanted to make an appointment with an in-house nutritionist to help you in losing weight. Afterall, he is not against the idea of you losing weight but he would much rather you do it in a healthy manner.
Your heart felt fuzzy when you are constantly reminded of the way Zayne would always takes care of you, even if he does not particularly look like he cares. “Yeah, that’s me. May I know what did Dr.Zayne said to you?”
“Not much, he only told me that his spouse is unhappy with her healthy body and that she would like to achieve a slimmer figure…” The girl’s voice trailed off a little, seemingly a little hesitant. “But he also told me to set up a 7 day workout plan for you so that you may get too tired of losing weight and you might just give up on it halfway.” OOF. Guess Zayne is totally fine with the way you look.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#rafayel love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#lnds#xavier love and deepspace#fluffy#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader
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I Think He Knows: (Chapter Four)
Summary: When your novel takes off and becomes a best seller, doors of opportunities open for you. You can work on the series you have dreamed about all your life. And you’re also given the chance to stay in a tiny cottage in Europe for two years to help with inspiration! Your best friend, Geto Suguru, shatters at the news. How could he tell you how he feels when you leave him? His opportunity appears right before him when you confess that your editor thinks a change of scenery will help with your not-so-steamy romance scenes. They’re lacking a particular spice because you’re a virgin. So, Suguru does what any best friend would do. He offers to teach you how things work. Will you cross that line as friends? Or will you both say goodbye?
Pairing: Geto Suguru x FAB!Reader
Word Count: 4,954
Warning: Language, fingering, hand-job, kissing, heavy description of genitals.
A/N: Here’s the update!! I'm sorry its so late. My wrist feels a lot better today!! 😘💚💚 thank you for your patience!!
Part One Part Two Part Three
You were glaring at your computer screen; the words struggled to come to you. Nanami was pleased with the changes you had made to your latest chapters; he said the kiss scenes were much more realistic, all thanks to your best friend, but as much as he liked it, it still didn't change the fact that your smutty mutual masturbation scene sucked balls.
“It’s getting there.” He glanced back at the words. “You’ve moved on from using meat stick to penis—while is anatomically correct, it’s not quite rousing. Perhaps try using the words shaft, dick, maybe cock.”
“Kento!”
“I’m being serious, how many erotic novels have you read where the writer uses ‘she grasped his penis in her hand’ no ‘she grabbed his cock’.”
“Right—”
“Then there’s the climax.” Nanami sighed, flipping through the pages. “Be honest with me; have you ever seen a man have an orgasm? It’s not like a fire hose in hentai—” A judgmental look was shot in your direction, which was well deserved. “It’s more like spurts.”
“Ugh, seriously?”
“Yes, and Oaklynn’s orgasm, you just described her facial reactions and breathing. Get into the pulsing or contractions she feels. Hell, make her squirt. Ilsan is a knight; he's been to brothels so the man would know how to please a woman.”
“Squirt—?”
The way Nanami deadpanned at you before running a hand down his face told you he had figured it out. He must have finally put the deli meat sex scenes, terribly written orgasms, and your lack of knowledge of female orgasms. You slowly sank lower into the booth with a flushed face.
“You’re a virgin.”
“You’re a virgin~” You mocked, sticking up your nose as the nightmares and flashbacks of your luncheon came to an end. Nanami’s suggestion to watch porn gives it a better understanding of how orgasms work. There was no way in hell you were doing that. “I don't need to have sex to know how to write a good sex scene!”
That statement was true, and having some experience would benefit you. It had kissing scenes. And it most definitely would help you with the grinding scene in the alley you were adding in. Suguru made things comfortable for you; he wasn’t pushy or manipulative. He was so gentle and kind, making sure you felt okay. You were so grateful for him, but after you started feeling weird last night and told him to stop, maybe he didn't want to keep doing stuff with you.
If you were honest with him, maybe he'd understand. But it wasn't very comfortable. It felt so intense, and you were all tingly.
Once you finished your rewrites, you would have to sit down and talk to him. You just hoped he didn’t think you were avoiding him after what happened. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can talk to him, get things back to normal, and maybe ask him to help you more. His lessons truly were helping you.
If only we weren’t having such a hard time with the stupid scene!
“Come on, just type it, dick, just type out the letters. DICK.” Your fingers hovered over your keyboard, your eyes narrowing at the screen. “It’s just a word!”
Before your fingers could even touch the ‘D,’ a fist pounded against your door. At first, you were startled; your heart lurched into your throat as your hand rested against your chest. The fist slammed against the door once again. If someone knocked at your door at 2:30 in the morning, it wasn’t a good sign. You were about to grab your phone to call Suguru when you heard his voice at the door.
“Answer, answer god, please.”
He repeated the exact words as you shove your lap desk off to the side before jumping up for the door. You open the door just as Suguru pulls his fist back to knock again. His face was pale, and his dark bangs clung to his forehead with sweat. The dark circles under his eyes were the evidence of the nightmares that he had been having and the lack of sleep.
Regardless of his appearance, your eyes still frantically searched him up and down. You were trying to find evidence of injuries or something that told you what was wrong. You could find no traces of anything other than his insomnia. He was in a white T-shirt and baggy gray sweats and stood there silently. Look of relief washing over your face. He just stood there. A look of relief washed over his face at the sight of you.
“Suguru? What’s wrong? What happened?” He doesn’t answer your frantic questions; instead, he grabs you, pushing his way inside your apartment and kicking the door shut. “Suguru?!”
You yelp as you both fall to the floor, his arms wrapped firmly around you as he holds you flush against his chest; your best friend is shaking, his breath heavy as he clings to you as if you would vanish if he let go. Seeing him in such a state made you sick to your stomach. He didn’t deserve to be plagued with the pain of what happened years ago. You knew he blamed himself for what happened with Riko. You wish you could take the pain away from him.
While that was impossible, you could be there for him when he needed you the most. So you wrapped your arms around him and squeezed, hugging him as tight as possible. “Thought I lost you.” He whispered, his hands clinging onto your tank top.
“Suguru—” you whisper, hands gently caressing his back. “You’re not going to lose me.” You feel him relax against you, shaking softly as he pulls back an inch. “Nightmares again?” His dark strands of hair cover his eyes, but he nods. “Sugu, oh sweetie—do you wanna stay the night with me?”
Your words seem to hit him like a freight train. The panic and fear in his eyes turned into relief. His muscles relax as he exhales through his nose. You reach up and caress his cheek, letting him know you are there, and he leans into your touch, nuzzling his cheek into your palm.
“Yeah, can I please?”
“Of course you can.” You lock the door before grabbing Suguru’s wrist and pulling Jim into your bedroom. “You can go to sleep. I need to finish editing this page before I lay down.”
As you sit back down, placing your lap desk in front of you, Suguru takes a moment to look around your bed. There are tiny Post-it notes and looseleaf paper spread out over your comforter, along with the mini spiral notebook you had in your purse. He had teased about it initially, but he realized that you need to jot down your ideas when inspiration hits you. So your stocking was full of the little mini notebooks you loved to carry.
Seeing that blissful smile tugged at your lips, in the warmth of the flush in your cheeks, made Suguru float with happiness. That joy that was brought on by notebooks was something he would never forget. He wanted to make you happy for the rest of your life. Not just with notebooks but a life you both could build together in a romantic relationship. Suguru wanted to give you the world on a silver platter because you deserved it and much more.
“Oh fuck, sorry, Sugu.” Small hands quickly removed the notes and the papers covering the other side of your bed. “Just transcribing and everything.” You motioned for him to lie down, patting gently on the mattress.
Suguru crawled into bed with you, covering himself with the sheet, before snuggling his head against one of your pillows. The smell of your favorite shampoo and conditioner had his nerves relaxing as he watched you glare at the screen. From the way your nose was turned up, you were deep in thought. His curiosity got the better of him, and he learned in closer, his eyes roaming over the screen.
‘Oaklynn’s face scrunched up in pure pleasure as her orgasm hit her. Her breathing was heavy, and Ilsan growled in her ear, pumping his fingers in and out of her vagina.’
Vagina?
‘That’s it~ such pretty sounds—nngh!’ Ilsan’s voice cracked as Oaklynn’s soft hand squeezed his penis, twisting her wrist as she stroked. ‘O-Oh gods! Oak~ Oaaak!’ A spray of cum coated Oaklynn’s hand, his sticky seed spraying all over her, pooling onto the mattress below them.
“PFFT!” Suguru tried hard not to laugh, his hand flying up to muffle the chuckle. But god, it was too funny!
Upon hearing the laughter from your best friend, your eyes snapped down. There he was, tears in his eyes, tanned skin flushing a rosy color as his eyes remained glued on your screen. With a tiny gasp, you slammed your screen shut before hiding your face in your hands. Your jerky, panicked motions seemed to set Suguru off more as he threw his head back, barking out in laughter.
“Oh my god! Stop!”
“W-Why was he cumming like a faucet?!” Suguru rolled onto his back, wiping at the tears.
“Stop it!”
“And using the words vagina and penis? I preferred it when you called it Meat Stick and Fairy Cave!”
You grumbled before moving your hands to push him. “Could you please stop talking!? Please, I know it’s bad!” Those words had Suguru jerking his head up, finding you flushed cheeks and glimmering eyes.
“It’s not bad—”
“Yes, it is! This screams, ‘A virgin wrote this! She’s never gotten any action,’ Which is true! How can I describe an orgasm when I’ve never even had one?!”
The truthful outburst left you panting as Suguru’s laughter abruptly stopped. His dark eyes were transfixed on your face before you got up, putting away your notes and laptop, and as you silently moved around the room, you could feel Suguru’s eyes on you. And they stayed locked on you until you crawled into bed with a sigh, curling onto your side.
The self-doubt was in your every move, from how your body tensed to your shallow breathing as you fought back tears. You knew Suguru didn’t laugh to be malicious, but it wasn't a confidence booster either. At times like these, you questioned if you were good enough to do this and if writing a smutty fantasy was what you were capable of.
Suguru frowned as he watched your body tremble, soft whimpers sounding in your chest. God, he felt like an asshole. With hesitant movements, Suguru inched himself closer to you. His hand gently inches itself around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Seeing that you didn't fight him or verbally tell him no, Suguru wrapped his arm underneath you, spooning you.
“I’m sorry.” His breath was hot against your cheek. “I shouldn't have been snooping, especially when you were in rewrites.”
“I-It’s okay. I’m struggling with it; I want to be the best I can, ya’ know?”
“Mhmm, I know princess.” The warmth of his body had you relaxing. “Can I ask you a question?”
You turned your head and pressed your cheek against his. “Yeah, of course you can.”
“You’ve never had an orgasm?” His voice was so smooth and sultry, making you shiver. “Like ever?”
It was true; you struggled to reach the mythical ‘Big O’ since you started masturbating. You felt like you would get close, it was within grasp, but you would fall short. There was a time you thought maybe you did, but the fact you had to question yourself was the only answer you needed to know that you had, in fact, not had one.
“No, I haven't; I think my fairy cave is broken.”
Suguru’s chest rumbled as he laughed loudly, giving you a tight squeeze. God, he had it so bad for you. You were so innocent and cute; you had such a good sense of humor.
“I don't think it’s broken.” His statement had you rolling so that you were facing him. “You just need to explore it some more.” His hand reaches down gently, resting it on your ass. “I could talk you through it if you want.”
Tingles ran down your spine as he squeezed the fat of your ass. It was a mixture of relief and excitement that your reaction didn't turn him off from the night before. Your hands moved, gripping his shirt gently before biting your lip. You had tried so many times before, but Suguru—he knew what to do.
“I don't want you to talk me through it—I want you to do it.” Suguru’s dark eyes went wide, his pupils the size of pinpricks. “If you want to.”
Your best friend leaned close to your ear before placing a kiss against it, and he moved further down to your neck, his tongue past his lips, kisses and little licks over your sensitive skin. The sensation had you squirming, your pulse racing in your throat, and a shuddering sigh left your mouth. Suguru sucked on your neck as his hand groped and massaged your ass. Your body felt like it was kindling with fire, a low burn in the pit of your stomach as he continued to pepper kisses over your neck.
“You want me to make you cum?”
“P-Please.”
“I’d do anything for you.” He grunts gravelly into the crook of your neck. “I’ll make sure you know what an orgasm feels like. That way, your already amazing writing is more accurate.” Teeth grazed over the skin, leading to your shoulder, as one of Suguru’s hands slipped under your shirt, trailing over your belly. “Can I touch you?”
“Y-Yea—aah—” his hand groped your breast the second he heard ‘yeah’ leave your mouth. He gently squeezed it, massaging it between his long, thick fingers. His thumb gently brushed over the nipple with every squeeze. “Mmm—” you pressed your lips together as your eyes tailed down, watching his hand move underneath your tank top.
Suguru continued to kiss and nip at your neck, trailing kisses so gently over your skin; well, his other hand pinched and pulled at your nipple, rubbing the bud between his fingers. The way your body twitched and jerked underneath his touch had his cock throbbing hard within the confines of his sweats. The breathless gasps, the way you took your bottom lip between your teeth, gently gnawing at it, you look so fucking hot; he wanted to do more to see what other reactions he could draw out from you.
Suguru’s hand left your breast, slowly trailing down past your stomach before pressing his whole palm over your clothes-clad pussy. Being touched intimately for the first time had you jerking, eyes snapping shut. Suguru groaned, rubbing his hand over your pussy, feeling the warmth of your sex. You gasped as he pulled his hand away to his index and middle finger over your clothed clit. Your body jerked forward, your arms wrapping around his neck, hands sticking into his hair as he brushed over the sensitive bundle and the nerves a second time.
“Does that feel good?” Suguru asked, his mouth pulling away from your sensitive skin.
Your mouth fell open as your eyebrows knitted together. “F-Feels r-real good.” His fingers began rubbing against your clit in slow circles, drawing out a whine from your chest. “O-Oh fuuuck S-Suguru.”
“I got you~ I got you, don't worry.” His fingers rubbed faster, memorizing how you jerked and reacted, repeating the same movements to get you to respond more.
The intensity of everything was becoming too much for you to handle. It felt like your whole body was on fire, like a pot on the stove roaring to a boil. You needed more; you weren’t sure what, but you needed more of this, of Suguru. He needed to quench your thirst, to put water on the flames burning with every nerve of your body, and you knew that his fingers would be the only thing that could help you.
“I-I want more.” Your voice was so timid, making Suguru’s hand seize up momentarily. “Please.”
“You sure?” he asked, his voice dark and husky.
With a nod, you grabbed his wrist, bringing it up to the waistband of your shorts. “Yes, I’m positive.” You gently pushed his wrist down, allowing his fingers to slip under the elastic band. You could’ve sworn Suguru choked on his breath, his eyes widening in the low light of your bedroom as they glanced down to his hand that had breached your shorts.
Suguru wrapped his arm around you, holding you steady as his hand dipped lower, brushing against your slick folds. The initial contact has your head tilting back m as he groaned, feeling your delicate skin before rubbing at your clit gently. You gripped the fabric of his shirt, digging your nails into it. Your body trembled as you buried your face into his neck, whimpering against his skin.
“S-Suguru—”
“Is this okay?” Suguru moved slowly, carefully listening closely to your breathing and noting how you shook—memorizing each twitch, saving it for him to jerk off to when you fell asleep. All you could do was nod your head as you lost yourself in the pleasure. Seeing that you were doing so well, Suguru slipped his hand back further, his thumb rubbing against your clit before slowly sliding two fingers into you.
“Nngh!” You gasped out, pressing your lips against Suguru’s neck as you mewled. “Sugu~! Sugu~!” Your walls were beginning to flutter and convulse around him as he slowly curled his fingers in.
Feeling your hot breath against his neck, how your lips gently traced unintentional kisses over his sensitive skin had his cock throbbing hard. Suguru pressed into you, rubbing his hardening cock against your thigh. He slowly began thrusting his fingers in and out of you, wet squelched flooding the room as he rubbed your clit harder.
“I want to make you cum Princess.” He snarled against your cheek.
The vulgar words had you clamping down harder on his fingers. Your body was getting hotter, from your toes to your pussy, all the way into your stomach. That coil from a few nights before began tightening, coiling deep inside you. The intensity had you tugging on Suguru's shirt.
“S-Sugu~ f-feels intense a-again—Ah oh fuck it’s l-like before.” There was a twinge of uncertainty and fear in your voice. “I-I—”
“I know it's weird, but just let go. I got you—it’s going to feel so fucking good in a second.” His fingers moved in and out of your tight, wet heat faster, drawing out more gasps from you. “Trust me.”
“I-I do feel good, b-but—” Suguru hooked his fingers up, moving them in a come hither motion, causing your legs to shake. “Fuuuck! Oooh fuck!”
“God, you sound so good,” he whispered so softly you couldn't hear him over your moans. “So good.” Suguru had dreamed about doing this to you for so long, to have you underneath him, showing you how much you meant to him. It was a dream to have you clinging to him, gasping his name.
“Sugu—Suguru—” You could feel something coming; it was intense, making your toes curl. “S-Sugu—I-I—I think—!”
“That’s it~ that’s it, let go~ you’re gonna cum.”
His fingers pressed into the sponge spot inside of you. The pressure of his fingers and his thumb rubbing your clit had you seeing stars. You screamed into his neck, shutting your eyes tight as your thighs clamped around his hand. The pure fiery pleasure had your whole body and pussy convulsing as you cried out loudly, so loud Suguru heard your neighbor hit the wall with a ‘shut up.’
Suguru couldn't care; he wanted you screaming his name. He groaned as he felt your slick on his fingers, slowing down to help you ride out your first orgasm. "Shhhh, shh—princess, don't be too loud~" You panted heavily against his neck, tears in your eyes as the last waves of pleasure washed over you.
“Oooh fuck.” You wheezed out as Suguru gently pulled his finger out of you. “Oh my god.” As you rolled onto your back, Suguru quickly slid his fingers into his mouth, sucking your cum off with a satisfied growl. You tasted sweet with a tang of citrus; it was addictive. God, what would he do to taste it firsthand?
As he pulled his fingers out of his mouth, you rolled back onto your side and stared at him. Suguru smiled cocking an eyebrow at the almost unreadable expression on your face. “Yes? Can I he—eeegh!” Your hand brushed over his hard cock, catching him off guard. “W-What are you doing?” you say up on your knees, cheeks flushed with post-orgasmic glow and determination.
“I-I've never seen a man cum! A-And seeing that you offered to help me, c-could I watch you jerk off? O-Or maybe if it’s okay, could I touch you? Y-You’re hard, right?”
Your bluntness and straightforward request left your best friend gaping at you. You wanted to touch him? God, this was like two dreams coming true. But as much as he wanted to have your hand on him, he was afraid he’d blow his load the second your fingers wrapped around him. So he's going to have to compromise for now.
“How about I jerk off, and you can wrap your hand around me?”
“Okay! Um! Let's start.”
You sat back on your heels, swallowing hard as Suguru pulled the sheets off his body. You could hear your pulse pounding in your ears as you watched your best friend sit up, resting his back against your headboard, dark hair falling over his shoulder with every movement. Why were you so nervous? It was just Suguru’s dick, just your best friend, who just made you cum your brains out. Nothing about this should make you anxious! He was helping you! This was research!
But your research had your pussy throbbing as Suguru hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his pajama pants and pulled it down. When he did, his thick erect cock bounced, landing against his stomach with a hardy thump. It was heavy and thick, and it had you pressing your thighs together. The tip was a deep, dusty, rose color, dribbling out a clear substance from the tip. His shaft was tan; thick veins ran up and down as it twitched.
“Oh—” you whispered, taking in his well-trimmed pubes, admiring his happy trail that went from the bottom of his belly button down to the base of his cock. “Oooh fuck.”
“Yeah—” Suguru groaned, tilting his head to the side as he watched you with dark, knowing eyes. He saw the way you looked at him, your gaze lingering on his cock. “this is it.”
Suddenly, it became crystal clear why he had so many romantic partners. He was thick and big. You’re sure it would hit every place inside you that would feel good. Wait a minute, not you, his previous partners! It must’ve hit all the right places inside of them. It probably felt so good. Like how his fingers felt pressing that spot inside you. His cock had the perfect curve that would hit it just right.
“You good there? Did your virgin brain malfunction?”
In a way, it did, but you wouldn’t acknowledge that it had. “W-What!? No, of course not!” your eyes started to burn with a visible flush. “No.” Suguru just laughed breathlessly.
“I'm just teasing you, come here, I’ll show you what it looks like when a guy cums.” Your eyes slowly drifted back towards him, your breath catching in your throat at the sight of him stroking his shaft. His hand moved silly up and down, smearing what you could only assume was pre-cum over himself. “Fuccck.” he grumbled, “I’m so hard, I-I'm probably not going to last long.” That was okay with you. “You can wrap your hand around mine.”
With his invitation, you placed your hand over his moving your arm up and down as he stroked his cock. He didn’t go all the way down to the base. Instead, he focused his attention on the head of his cock. Each time, he stroked his cock, his head tilted back against the headboard as his legs spread. The muscles in his upper thighs constricted with each jerk. He looked so fucking good, like some sex god.
Seeing him in such a state had you trying to match his movements as best as possible and attempting to keep up with his steady but jerky pace. Your eyes wandered to where his shirt pulled slightly up, just enough for you to see the bottom half of his abs that were clenching with each stroke that focused on the head of his cock.
While his movements utterly entranced you, Suguru’s eyes were drawn to you. The way you took your bottom lip between your teeth, how your eyes roamed over him, focusing on the muscles in his stomach, before trailing back towards his cock. Your presence was enough to have him dribbling more pre-cum out. Suguru straightened his legs out, toes curling as his hand moved faster up and down over the head of his cock. He had it down so bad for you that it was going to be enough to send him over the edge.
“Oooh fuuuck~ fuck fuck fuck~” he growled through gritted teeth. “Fuck yeah.”
Fuck, oh God, he looks so good. Watching him pleasure himself had you feeling warm and fuzzy deep inside. He was really into jerking his hand up faster, squeezing himself hard. He looks so fucked out of his mind, and you were sure if you could see your face, your expression with mirror his. There was something about watching him getting off that had your pulse racing in your pussy throbbing, your shorts were already wet enough, and you could feel more slick coating them.
Moving your hand with his wasn’t enough. Biting down on your lip, you pulled his hand away. “Hey, what ar—aah—” Suguru’s head lolled back as you wrapped your soft hand around him, jerking your hand up and down at the same pace he was going.
“O-oooh.” You were not expecting it to be as velvety smooth as it was. The feeling of his cock in your hand had awakened something in you. You leaned over him, resting your free hand on his upper thigh. Stroking your hand over his cock up and down faster and harder, squeezing it like he had done to himself.
Suguru threw his head back against the headboard, hissing through his teeth as his eyes watched your hand move up and down over him. He had the scenario so many times in his head and his wet dreams when he would stroke himself until he would cum all over his hand. The final push was to feel you touching him with such enthusiasm.
“C-Cummin! Fuck! I’m cumming Princess!” Spurts of thick white cum shot out of his tip, lashing out over his stomach and his T-shirt. It wasn’t all like a hose; it was small ropes, for it to be exact, that lashed out over him and your hand. “A-Aah!” His whole body jerked his abs, clenching as his eyes rolled back, and you continued jerking your hand, milking him for all you could.
“W-Wow, tha-that was hot.” at the sound of your voice Suguru shot his hand forward, grabbing your wrist, stopping you from continuing to move over his cock. “O-Oh, sorry—“
“N-No, you’re okay, just sensitive.” He grunted as he let you go, allowing you to pull your coated hand back.
You both sat in your bed, traces of your orgasm coating both of you as Suguru came down from his high. Silence filled the open air between you, but it wasn’t at all awkward; instead, it was thick with tension, sexual tension. A tension Suguru was familiar with while the feeling was alien to you. Part of you wanted to reach out and kiss him, but something inside you prevented you from moving forward. Because this wasn’t a relationship, this was just your best friend helping you when you were struggling. It was nothing more than that.
Seeing as you were the only one capable of functioning, you got up and headed into your bathroom, grabbing a warm wet rag to clean you both off with. “Thank you for letting me do that.” You whispered as you cleaned off your hand before gently handing him the rag. “That was very informative, and I think it will help me with the pages. I’ve been struggling with it.” Suguru stared blankly at you, taking in your words as he wiped his cum off his stomach and shirt.
“Of course, I’m glad I could help you out.”
“Uhm, so do you wanna go to bed?”
“Yeah—yeah, that sounds good.”
“Awesome!”
After snatching the rag from him and tossing it in the bathroom, you crawled back into bed with your best friend. A man you had known since your childhood who you had grown up with. The two of you had been through thick and thin together, always there for one another no matter the circumstances.
As you lay down on your side, Suguru wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against your chest. You couldn’t help but wonder if you both had crossed the line tonight. Or if you had taken a step towards a new chapter of your relationship? Those questions could wait until morning because you were only concerned about how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms, listening to his heartbeat as you both drifted to sleep.
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks
Tag List (TO BE ADDED AGE MUST BE IN BIO)
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#bestfriend!suguru#geto x reader au#jjk geto x reader smut#geto x reader smut#jjk geto x reader#geto x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#jjk#jjk reader smut#jjk y/n#jjk reader insert#jjk men#jjk men smut#jjk suguru geto#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk suguru au#jjk suguru#geto suguru smut#jjk geto suguru#suguru smut#reader x suguru#suguru x reader#suguru geto smut#jujutsu kaisen suguru#getou suguru x reader#geto suguru#getou suguru x you
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A Gentle Wind
Summary: After the battle, the group arrives at the Butterfly Mansion for much-needed rest and recovery. When Sanemi's abrasive nature sparks a confrontation, the reader steps in to defend her friends. Her fiery spirit leaves the Wind Hashira stunned and unexpectedly smitten.
Warnings: None
The soft rustling of leaves in the Butterfly Mansion garden was a gentle contrast to the tension that crackled in the air. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke had just arrived, weary and battered, seeking solace and healing. However, the atmosphere shifted as Sanemi Shinazugawa, the Wind Hashira, made his presence known with his usual bluntness.
"You three idiots better not mess things up here," Sanemi barked, his tone as sharp as his blade. "You're lucky to even be alive."
Inosuke bristled, fists clenching, but before he could respond, you stepped forward, your eyes blazing with determination. "That’s enough, Sanemi," you snapped, standing protectively in front of your friends. "They’ve been through enough without you berating them."
Sanemi's eyes narrowed, a storm brewing within them. "And who are you to lecture me? Do you know who you're talking to?"
"Yes, I do," you replied firmly. "I’m talking to someone who should know better than to kick people when they’re down. They’ve fought hard and deserve respect, not ridicule."
Sanemi's lip curled in a sneer. "Respect? From me? They're a bunch of reckless brats who need to learn their place."
"Reckless?" you shot back, stepping closer, undeterred by his intimidating presence. "They’re brave. They’ve risked their lives to protect others. If that’s what you call reckless, then maybe you need to rethink what it means to be a Demon Slayer."
Tanjiro placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, trying to calm you. "It's okay, [Y/N], we don’t want to cause any trouble."
You shrugged his hand off, not breaking eye contact with Sanemi. "No, Tanjiro. Someone needs to stand up to him. You’ve all done nothing but give your best, and you deserve better than this."
Sanemi's eyes flickered with surprise and something else—was it admiration? "You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me like that," he muttered, his voice low.
"And you’ve got a lot of nerve treating people like they’re beneath you," you retorted. "Being a Hashira doesn’t give you the right to be a bully."
Zenitsu, hiding behind Inosuke, peeked out and added nervously, "She’s right, you know. We’re all on the same side."
Inosuke, ever the blunt one, huffed. "Yeah, what she said! Back off, Wind Guy!"
Sanemi's gaze softened just a fraction, but his voice remained gruff. "You think you’re something special, don’t you? Protecting them like this?"
"Yes, I do," you said, lifting your chin defiantly. "Because they are special. And if you can’t see that, then maybe you’re not as strong as you think you are."
A tense silence settled over the garden. The colorful butterflies fluttered around, oblivious to the conflict, while the sweet scent of blooming flowers filled the air. Your friends watched with wide eyes, clearly impressed by your courage.
"You've got guts," Sanemi muttered, a flicker of something softer passing through his harsh demeanor.
"I’m just protecting my friends," you said, turning on your heel with a huff. "Maybe you should try it sometime." With that, you marched back into the mansion, leaving a stunned Sanemi in your wake.
Sanemi stood rooted to the spot, the words replaying in his mind. The fire in your eyes, the unwavering strength in your voice—it was unlike anything he’d ever encountered. He watched as you disappeared into the mansion, his heart pounding in a way it never had before.
For the first time, the fierce Wind Hashira felt something other than anger and duty. He felt admiration, respect, and something he could hardly name. But as he stood there, surrounded by the serene beauty of the Butterfly Mansion, Sanemi was sure of one thing.
He was in love.
#anime#fandom#fanfic#writing#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer imagines#demon slayer zenitsu#demon slayer rengoku#demon slayer inosuke#demon slayer tanjiro#demon slayer anime#short drabble#demon slayer#demons#drabble#sanemi headcanons#demon slayer sanemi#sanemi x reader#sanemi shinazugawa#kny sanemi
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thinking about being tashi’s first girl-friend in every sense. maybe you start out as someone that pushes art, makes him desperate to impress you and starts his first winning streak after a series of slumps. maybe the two of you couldn’t deny your attraction but never acted on it out of respect for tashi and that move coming from someone so young impressed her a little bit, and she was already in a good mood from art’s improvement so why shouldn’t he deserve a reward? but she didn’t know it would come with you asking her to get your nails done together, or to grab drinks, or if she could help you pick her outfits because she has such great style. and that turns into holding her hand on the way from the nail salon to the car, and having sleepovers where you do face masks and gossip and plan ways to push art to his absolute best, but soon you have your own thing going aside from art and eventually you invite her out to meet all of your friends….which she quickly realizes is not her thing and she would much rather it be just the two of you. maybe her husband, if he’s been good. that leads to her kissing you in the car on the way home which leads to you two making out all the way into whatever hotel you’re in which leads to….. :)
(picturing tashi in a pink fluffy robe and headband and slippers sipping some champagne and watching trashy reality tv and getting giggly)
i love love love the idea of tashi falling for you and feeling like - giddy about it. getting lightness in her chest when you gravitate towards her - fills her with pride that you want to be around her. she'd allowed you into her marriage with art with the intention of not really being apart of it herself, but now shes closer with art even. finds herself getting excited when talking to him when they talk about dating you, what to do when you come over, where to take you. she thinks about wanting to provide for you, take care of you in every sense of the word, beyond orgasms her husband can give you - financially, romantically, sexually herself. when you have sex for the first time she allows art to watch but hes a bystander (a willing one, mind) just watching tashi explore you - its strange because in this instance art knows your body better than she does, intimately, but she's always been a quick learner - and she does what she always does. she excels, she dominates, she controls.
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All The Reasons We Can't
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!reader (Lucy's roommate)
Summary: When you move in with Lucy Chen, you don't expect to fall for her ex-boyfriend.
Warnings: unspecified age gap (r is younger than Lucy), angst, fluff, spoilers for s6! (it's canon-divergent but still has spoilers)
Word Count: 2.6k+ words
A/N: If you are looking for a happy ending for Lucy and Tim, this is not the fic for you lol.😆
Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
“Lucy!” you call, waving from your seat in the back of the restaurant.
She rushes to you and pulls you into a tight hug. “Thank you so much for coming,” she whispers into your embrace. “I needed this.”
“You’re my best friend, Lucy, I’ll always be here for you.”
Lucy nods as she releases you. You take the seat beside her rather than across from her. She’s dealing with a lot, and you know that she needs a friend right now.
“So, how long are you staying in town this time?” Lucy asks as she picks up the menu.
“Uh, about that,” you begin slowly. “I was thinking I’d just stay this time. You’re here, a lot of other things I love are here, and I just- I think it’s time to stay in LA for good.”
“You’re moving?” Lucy exclaims. “Please don’t be kidding, I can’t take that right now, girl.”
“I’m serious,” you promise her. “I’ve been looking for a new job and a place. Lucy, I want to be close to you; I need you in my life all the time, too.”
“It’s been too long,” Lucy agrees as she takes your hand. “I do have an idea though.”
You hum, inviting her to share, and her smile grows.
“Why don’t you move in with me? Tamara moved out, so I have the room. Even if it’s just temporary until you find your own space, I’d love to be roommates.”
“Are you sure? That’s a lot of change, Luce, and I don’t want to get in the way of you processing everything.”
“I’m really sure.”
“Then, yeah, I’d love that, Lucy.”
Lucy squeals, drawing the attention of an older couple sitting across from you. You wave awkwardly before they look away, then laugh with Lucy. Moving in with her sounds perfect and being right there for each other is part of why you decided to move.
“Hello,” you greet when Lucy returns from work. “Dinner is in the oven.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” Lucy sighs. “Where have you been all my life?”
“Wasting time until we met online mostly,” you answer. “How was today?”
“It was- uh, it was better. Tim and I still have a lot of work to do, mostly on ourselves. We’re going to try to be friends, though, because there’s no way either of us could ever just go back.”
“I get that. Being friends will be good for you, Lucy, even if it’s hard. Especially since you have to see him every day.”
“Yeah, it’s just still hard. Really hard sometimes, to wake up and remember he’s not there.”
You pull Lucy into a hug, which she gladly accepts. The oven timer dings, and you release her with a smile and an apology to finish preparing dinner.
“What would make it better?” you ask. “I know you’ve been thinking about it.”
“Honestly, I know I’m not ready to get out there yet, but I think seeing Tim with someone else – even just platonically – could help. He deserves it, too. For everything that he did and didn’t do, he’s a great guy, and he needs a friend or two that he can be himself with. Or does that sound selfish, like I’m trying to push him away to forget?”
“It doesn’t sound selfish at all, Lucy. You want the best for him, and if he’s trying to be friends, it seems like he wants that for you, too.”
“Yeah.” Lucy taps her fingers on the counter.
“I’ll get you a sign for the door,” you joke, trying to make her smile. “Lucy Chen, Platonic Matchmaker.”
It works, and Lucy smiles as you slide two plates onto the counter. She’s your best friend, and if she thinks Tim Bradford needs a friend (even after breaking her heart), then you trust she’s right.
“Hi,” Tim greets softly when the elevator opens.
Lucy nods once in greeting as she steps inside. “Good morning.”
Tim presses his lips together in the awkward silence. He knows he made the right choice by letting her go to get the better things she deserves, but it doesn’t make this part easier. “Big plans this weekend?”
“Not really,” Lucy replies. “My roommate is making me dinner tomorrow night and we’re just going to hang out, I think. Tamara and some other friends are coming over this weekend.”
“That’s good. You got a new roommate already?”
“I did. A friend I met a few years ago moved here, so…”
“Nice.”
“Yeah.” The door opens and Lucy steps forward. “Plus, she knows every little thing there is to know about me and you.”
Tim’s eyes widen and Lucy laughs as the elevator door closes behind her. Shaking his head, Tim smiles because Lucy looks happy again. His phone buzzes with another reminder about her cop-iversary, a term she coined to celebrate the anniversary of when she graduated to short sleeves. It’s the first year he hasn’t celebrated with her, but he’s still celebrating for her.
On the day of Lucy’s cop-iversary, you wake up early to surprise her with her favorite breakfast. When you have the food done and decorated for her big day, you realize that she should be awake by now. You walk to her bedroom door and knock lightly.
“It’s open,” Lucy calls from inside.
Gently pushing the door open, you see her finishing her hair. With the last clip in place, she sighs and looks at you. Her eyes are bloodshot, she looks tired, and there’s no sign of excitement for her big day.
“What happened?” you inquire.
“Yesterday was awful. A cop got shot, and I got roped into an undercover thing that almost blew up in my face… I’m just stressed and tired, I think. Everything’s piling on, you know?”
You extend your arms toward her, and Lucy hugs you tightly.
“Thank you,” she whispers. “What is that amazing smell?”
“That’s your cop-iversary breakfast. Go eat, I’ll tidy up in here for you.”
“I love you,” Lucy sighs. “You’re the best person, friend, roommate, human, ever.”
“Back at ya,” you reply happily. “Now go before you run out of time.”
Lucy presses her hands together in another silent thanks as she walks backward out of her room. If she hadn’t told you about the rough day yesterday, her room would have. There are some clothes spread around on the bed and floor, her desk is disorganized, and there’s an overflowing backpack shoved in the corner. Her go bag, you realize. You pick a place at the back of the room and begin gathering the loose items; it’s the least you can do for your best friend.
In the kitchen, Lucy takes a bite of food and closes her eyes in appreciation. Before she can continue eating, someone knocks on the door. As she stands, she grabs a piece of food from the edge of her plate and pops it in her mouth on the short walk to the door.
“Kojo!” she squeals.
She drops to her knees without greeting Tim, opting to welcome Kojo into the apartment rather than the man who brought him over. Lucy takes the leash from Tim and leads Kojo to the couch.
“Can I come in?” Tim asks from the hall.
“Yeah,” Lucy answers, not looking away from Kojo. “What are you two doing here?”
“Heard about yesterday,” Tim says as he closes the door. “Thought you might want some Kojo comfort.”
“Kojo comfort is my favorite.”
“Happy cop-iversary.”
You survey Lucy’s room once you’re finished. With a satisfied nod, you turn toward her door. As you open it, you realize that Lucy has company.
“Sorry,” you say softly as the man looks toward you.
You recognize Tim Bradford from Lucy’s description of him and the pictures she refuses to delete. Now that they’re friends, it’s fine, but you didn’t approve of the folder while she was lying awake every night.
“I’m just gonna…” you trail off and walk toward your room.
“No, you can stay,” Lucy says. “You live here, too. This is Tim. Kojo and I will be right back.”
Lucy stands, and Kojo follows quickly behind her. She gathers her plate from the counter before she and Kojo disappear into her room and the door closes behind them.
“Hi,” you tell Tim. You remember that Lucy never actually said your name and offer it.
“Nice to meet you. And glad to see Lucy got a good roommate,” Tim replies.
You nod and look toward her door before you drop your voice to say, “Thank you. Lucy told me how you’re trying to do everything right after the breakup. Friends and all that. Plus, she needed to see Kojo today.”
“It is quite literally the least I can do,” Tim replies.
“I disagree. You seem like a great guy, Tim, and the fact that you’re trying at all means a lot. To me, at least.”
Tim isn’t sure how to respond to that. He blames himself for so much of what has happened recently, yet as he stands here with you, that guilt and the memories fade. He just wants to know about you.
“So, you and Lucy have been friends for a while?” he asks.
“Long-distance friends. We met online and then ran into each other in person a while back. Everything just kind of fit between us.”
You’re taking up every thought in Tim’s head, he realizes. Even as you’re talking, he wants to know more, to know you. But then a small voice in him points out that you’re young. Whatever it is he’s feeling doesn’t matter; you’re younger than him, younger than Lucy, and there’s no way you’d be interested in him. The realization fails to silence the other voice that whispers about how he feels alive, like himself again.
“How are you?” you ask. “Not just like how are you, I mean. Uhm… How are you doing with everything?”
The whispering voice rises to a yell. Tim’s heart knows exactly what it wants. Back to life in his chest, Tim acknowledges its cry that he needs you. Tim Bradford has feelings for Lucy’s younger roommate.
“I’m sorry if that’s overstepping your boundaries,” you add when Tim doesn’t answer. “It’s just that Lucy had me, Tamara, plenty of people to talk to after the breakup. From what she’s told me, you may not have had that same community to help you.”
“I don’t,” Tim agrees. His heart hammers in his chest as he wishes he could come home to you and your arms, where nothing else would matter.
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugs half-heartedly and offers a small smile. You see right through them to the sadness and guilt beneath. Living with Lucy has accustomed you to touch and physical affection, and you don’t think twice before you hug him.
Your arms wrap over his shoulders, and the brief moment where you think he will pull away ends when his strong arms tighten around your waist. He drops his face to your shoulder and holds you tighter as he clings to you. You feel it, and Tim does too, as he melts in your arms and releases the baggage he’s been carrying for far too long.
“You have people now,” you whisper.
Tim nods against you and raises one arm toward your shoulder to deepen the hug before he pulls away.
“Do you have your phone?” you ask, your hand still on his arm. “I can give you my number so you can call or text any time you want.”
Tim passes you his phone and watches your eyes as you type your contact information. As you place it back in his hand, you repeat your invitation.
“Anything you need, just to talk or listen, I’m here, Tim.”
“Thank you,” Tim replies. He holds your eyes for a moment then asks, “Is Lucy going to give Kojo back?”
You tilt your head back and laugh, and Tim smiles at the sight and the melodious noise. “Nope,” you answer.
“Maybe I should take her roommate to get even,” Tim jokes.
You smile at him as you shake your head. “Take a seat, she’ll be a while. There’s plenty of food, too, so help yourself.”
Tim happily takes a seat, more than willing to pass the time with you while Lucy gets comforted by Kojo. The minutes pass quickly as you and Tim get to know each other. When Lucy’s door opens again, Kojo trots to Tim’s side and Lucy calls that she’s just getting her stuff and she’ll be ready.
“Great, I’m a chauffeur now,” Tim grumbles.
“Tim, you should come over more often,” you suggest. “Only if you’re comfortable with that, of course. I think it would be good for all of us, though.”
You pat Kojo’s head as Tim promises, “I will. And if you ever want to come to my place or meet somewhere, you have my number.”
Lucy emerges before you can answer Tim, and she hugs you tightly to thank you for the cop-iversary present. She tells Tim he’s free to go, to which he rolls his eyes but leaves anyway. You know that you’ll be texting him soon.
“You hugged Tim,” Lucy accuses after he leaves.
“What?” you ask, turning back toward her after watching Tim leave.
“I’m not mad. You’re really good for him.”
“Lucy, I promise it was not my intention to-“
“I know,” she assures, reaching for your hand. “But Tim and I are friends, he clearly likes you… If you want to try, I’m rooting for you.”
“Thanks.”
She picks up her bag and steps toward the door. “You didn’t ask how I knew you hugged him.”
“Cologne?” you guess.
“Happiness. I saw it on him too, and it’s been a very long time since it was that obvious.”
After she leaves, you unlock your phone and see that Tim has already sent you a text. With his comments and Lucy’s approval, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t pursue whatever it is that’s blooming between you.
“Thanks for the hug and the talk,” you read. You smile as you type a reply: Meet at my favorite restaurant on Friday for more?
The message says ‘delivered’ then ‘read,’ but there’s no reply. A minute passes and you lock your phone. Maybe you misread everything, and he really did just need a hug, and now he’s done. You try to shake it out of your head and begin to clean the kitchen. You’re nearly done when your phone rings.
“Hello?” you answer as you dry your hands.
“Why?” Tim asks.
“Hmm?”
“I’m older than you,” Tim points out. “And I dated your roommate and then dumped your roommate. I kept secrets and lied and nearly lost my job. There are more reasons than I can count that this wouldn’t work.”
“I know you’re older than me. And I don’t care. Tim, for all of the reasons you just told me that this- that we wouldn’t work, did you think of any reasons we would?”
Tim exhales before he admits, “No.”
“Then I’ll see you Friday, because both of our hearts already know, and for every reason that your brain tells you no, my heart is telling me yes. If yours isn’t, tell me now and we walk away.”
“Mine is too,” Tim whispers.
“Good.” You smile as you say, “Hey, can you get the early bird special, so our first date is cheaper?”
“What do you care? You’re not paying,” Tim replies, an addictive, teasing lilt in his voice.
“I’m glad you came over today, Tim. I needed that hug, too.”
“See you on Friday for more.”
#tim bradford x reader#tim bradford x fem!reader#tim bradford x y/n#tim bradford x you#tim bradford fic#tim bradford the rookie#tim bradford imagine#tim bradford#the rookie x reader#the rookie abc#the rookie#fem!reader#requests#hanna writes✯#the rookie spoilers
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Only an Almost (XVII)
Chapter 17: Looking for Help
Hi! Here comes a new chapter!
Chapter 18 will be the beginning of things really getting better!
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
*************************************
Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 1855
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
“Well…. That… is a lot.”
“You can phrase it like that, yeah…”
“So… you’ve finally told her you loved her. At least you don’t have that to weight on your chest anymore.”
“The fact that I was still rejected after that confession kind of balances out the relief, though.”
“Yeah… you’ve got a point…”
Andrew heaved a sigh, closed his eyes as he let himself fall back fully in his chair. He hadn’t slept after that conversation with you. Or well, ‘conversation’ didn’t quite fit what had happened; it was rather a fight.
He had waited for an early but somewhat decent hour in the morning to call Sam, and ask if he could come buy. It was 8:13, and he was sipping on a black coffee, sitting at the table with him now. Daphne was taking a shower. Andrew had dropped by a bakery to get some pastries for breakfast, knowing he was depriving his friends from some well-deserved rest, but if Sam had already eaten, Andrew had not taken a single bite.
He nervously rubbed his palms, until the skin was painful and red, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“What are you going to do now?” Sam asked after a rather long silence.
But Andrew merely shrugged.
“What could I do? She doesn’t want me… All I can do is try to find a way to move on. Christ… how do you move on from that?”
“Getting awfully drunk sounds like a reasonable beginning,” Sam smiled.
“Well, perhaps, but not at 8 am,” Daphne chuckled, finally walking into the kitchen, her hair still wet from her shower.
She hugged Andrew tight.
“I’m sorry, Andy.”
“It’s alright.”
“I don’t have a clue what’s going on in her head…”
“Daphne… don’t. Please, don’t…”
She pulled away, got herself some coffee as well, before joining the two men around the wooden table.
“The way I see things… she’s freaking out. She’s freaking out and rejecting her feelings.”
“Daphne…”
“It makes no fucking sense!”
“It makes perfect sense. She doesn’t see me like that. It was just sex for her, and it wasn’t for me, and I was a damn fool. There’s nothing more to say about that.”
“There’s a lot more to say about that. The way she talked about it… she was just afraid…”
“Please…”
Andrew buried his face in his hands. He heard Sam gently shushing Daphne when she started speaking again.
“Come on, now! Tonight, we’re getting brilliantly drunk you and I!” Sam promised his friend.
“Good idea,” Andrew nodded.
A heavy silence followed.
“Andy… I know that this is not the time but… about the wedding…”
“Hmm?” Andrew finally looked up at his friends again.
“You… you’re still going to come, right?”
Andrew frowned hard.
“Of course, I’m coming. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because Y/N is my maid of honour,” Daphne let out in a breath.
“Oh… I hadn’t thought about that,” Andrew admitted.
But he quickly shook himself.
“Of course, I’ll come. I’m the best man! Don’t worry about that.”
“I… I understand that you won’t want to see her, and we can totally avoid the two of you being in the same room while we’re planning the wedding, but during the ceremony and everything…”
“Guys, don’t worry. I’m an adult, I can handle seeing my ex for a day.”
Andrew blinked and frowned.
“Technically, she’s not even my ex, we weren’t together, as she enjoyed reminding me last night…”
“You promise you’ll come, right?”
“Sam, of course, I’ll come. Don’t worry. It’s your wedding, you don’t have to worry about me and my stupid broken heart. I’ll be there, and I’ll just… behave politely towards Y/N. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyway, the wedding is in seven weeks, she’ll probably bring someone…”
The doorbell rang, and Daphne got up to answer the door, while Sam was patting Andrew’s shoulder.
He was attempting to guide the conversation back to something a little more joyful when the sound of someone crying reached the kitchen. The two men looked at each other with a frown.
“Daphne? You’re alright?” Sam called, standing in a hurry, Andrew following suit.
But it wasn’t Daphne who was crying. Sobbing, actually.
She was holding you in her arms. You were shaking with sobs, you seemed about to fall, and crumble to the ground…
Andrew felt tears rising to his eyes at the sight, but he quickly blinked them away. It was about the only movement he could summon though. He was too stunned to move another muscle, remaining frozen in his friends’ hallway.
His first reaction was to want to run to you, hold you in his arms until you would stop crying. Were you hurt? Why…? What was going on?
But then he heard your whisper…
“I’ve fucked up… Daphne, I’ve fucked up so bad… I’ve fucked up everything with Andy…”
To hear his name acted like a punch in the guts, knocking all the air out of his lungs. His brain started to properly function again, and puzzlement slowly replaced worry.
You were crying about last night?
“Andy…” Sam called as Andrew stormed through the hall to grab his coat and shoes.
You finally noticed that he was there, and remained frozen, staring at him with your puffy red eyes and cheeks stained with tears. He didn’t look at you. He couldn’t.
“Andy… Wait!”
But despite Sam’s protest, Andrew was out in the blink of an eye, hurrying out of the house and out of your life…
He didn’t stop before he had reached his car, hearing Sam run after him.
“Wait, Andy… I didn’t know she was going to drop by.”
“I know… I know… It’s alright.”
“Andrew…”
“I just… I can’t see her right now.”
“I understand. I just…”
“It’s alright, Sam. We’ll see each other tonight at the pub, okay?”
Sam reluctantly nodded, and Andrew hurried inside his car.
All he could do for now was trying to move on, move forward, always forward. He drove aimlessly around the countryside for a while, before finally going home.
Was he moving forward, or just running away?
On a scale from one to drunk, Andrew was hammered.
He reckoned that he hadn’t drunk that much since College… or no, scratch that. Since his first record. Yeah, he had had some nice party time during that period, a mix of testing his limits on the road and the buzzing excitement of a long list of first times.
Only, a few years had passed, and after that last whiskey, he wasn’t too sure if he could handle alcohol as well as he did back in the days…
Sam was laughing his arse off over something stupid, that Andrew had forgotten already, but he was giggling along anyway. The buzz of the liquor was making him dizzy, light-headed, with his cheeks on fire and his thoughts a mess.
God… it felt good to forget you for a moment.
The pub was full of life and laughter. A group had started drunkenly slurring through a few songs, but Andrew was hoping not to be recognized and asked to sing, he wasn’t in the mood. You were the only thing he could write about these days, singing reminded him of you…
It was fun, it was an easy and temporary fix to his heartbreak, but Andrew welcomed the momentary reprieve all the same.
That was until Sam became suddenly much paler than before, and pressed a hand over his mouth, choking on his laughter.
Andrew blinked, grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled him as quickly as his wobbly legs could carry him to the bathroom.
Sam had barely knelt down in an empty stall that he was throwing up.
Andrew patted his back a couple of times, waited for his friend to calm down. He sat behind him, against the wall of the tiny bathroom. He didn’t care that the ground was dirty and highly unhygienic… for now he was pressing his temple against the cool tiling on the wall to counter the spinning of his head and the growing pain in his skull.
“You’re alright in there?” he called for Sam, looking at his friend still bent over the toilet.
Sam didn’t answer, merely threw up again.
“I’ll take that as a ‘not dead yet’,” Andrew answered in a fit of stupid giggles, and closed his eyes.
A few minutes later, he heard Sam shifting near him, and he forced his eyes open again, despite his exhaustion and the pain piercing his head.
“You’re okay?”
Sam finally crawled on all fours to join Andrew next to the row of sinks.
“Yeah, better,” he nodded, stumbling to his feet to wash his mouth. “Thanks, mate.”
Andrew merely gave him a thumbs up, before closing his eyes again.
Sam sat down next to his friend then, ignoring a newcomer who had just come in.
“Damn… I don’t think I’ve been this hammered since College,” Sam mumbled, while Andrew merely hummed in agreement. “Do you remember that party by the beach? Alex was fucking out of it, and then the cops arrived! We ran so fucking fast! I thought Alex was going to piss his pants, he was in pure panic!”
Andrew laughed at the memory.
“You tripped on a root and fell like a fucking child. Hands and knees all scrapped,” Andrew added, making Sam double-over with laughter.
“And you banged your head in at least five branches! I thought you’d get a concussion!”
“The red marks on my forehead the next day!”
The two men were laughing hysterically, sitting there on the ground, ignoring anyone else who would come in and throw them amused looks.
They remained there two more minutes without being disturbed. No one was coming in anymore. It seemed as though even the sound of conversations and music from the main room of the pub had quietened.
And there you were again, your picture against his closed eyelids. First the sight of you waking up by his side in the morning. Then the memory of your skin against his. Your voice. Your smile. You turning to look at him, and beaming with this grin of yours that was brighter than any star…
A tear rolled down his cheek and into his beard before he could notice.
“Christ… Sam… I love her so fucking much…”
He vaguely heard Sam shifting next to him, and he finally opened his eyes. A row of brown doors, on the opposite wall some sinks and some mirrors, and white cold tiling all over the walls. Urinals on the other side of the room.
Instead, he could see you lying in his bedsheets, your head thrown back against his pillow…
“I love her…”
That look of mischief in your eyes as you stole some fries from his plate…
“I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love her… so fucking much…”
Sam wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug while Andrew’s silent tears were turning into proper cries.
“It’s going to be okay, Andy… It’s gonna be alright.”
And Andrew knew it was just some stupid fucking lie…
#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#the hoziest#hozier x reader#hozier x you#hozier x y/n#hozier x fem!reader#hozier fanfiction#hozier fic#hozier series#hozier imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#series
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I saw someone on TikTok say that Percabeth is one sided and all I could say is that it looks like someone didn’t read Mark of Athena. Then I did some research and I found out they’re a Pereyna shipper(I had no idea that existed).
Personally, I don't get it, Reyna literally just tried to make a move on Percy but he rejected her and neither of them thought about it again so I don’t really see it. Either way, that's not the issue because I don't really care what people ship as long as it's not weird or creepy (I'm looking at any Artemis x Percy, Luke x Percy, Annabeth x Luke, or Percy x Nico shippers).
But back to the Percabeth is one sided thing, I’m a little bit confused. Because, did they miss the Annabeth pining silently but obviously for Percy for YEARS, Annabeth being jealous of Rachel partly because she liked Percy, Annabeth telling Athena that Percy is everything to her, Annabeth driving herself crazy those months Percy was gone and searching for him without giving up. So “Percabeth is one sided” where???
Then upon further research I found that of course, turns out they are an Annabeth hater(they don’t admit it but it’s obvious for apparent reasons). Some of their reasons: Annabeth's nickname for Percy, “seaweed brain” is degrading and implies he is stupid, Annabeth is mean to Rachel, and Annabeth is scared of Percy which made him feel like he deserves to die.
1. Annabeths nickname for Percy started out as teasing but became endearing for the both of them, just like the nickname “wise girl”. Percy even gets mad at Thalia for using this nickname because he considers it something solely Annabeth can use. In no way has Percy ever said or even mentioned that he feels put down because of the nickname. Also, Percy never hesitates to call anyone, even gods, out on their shit, so if it was really bothering him, he would most likely say something.
2. Honestly, the whole deal with Rachel was never that deep. Like, it did have a deeper meaning for Annabeth than many could comprehend but the whole catty part was never that big. A few snide remarks, sure, but it's not like she was bullying Rachel. If anyone thinks otherwise, that's okay, but in my opinion it was meant to be funny and it came off as such, and even Rachel and Annabeth themselves moved on and became fiends. Moving forward, considering the context of Annabeth's jealousy, it makes total sense for her to feel resentment towards Rachel. I'm not saying it's justified, but if a boy she'd been crushing on for years and is destined to die soon spends his last summer with another girl who is closer to normal than Annabeth could ever be, in what world would she not be mad? In fact, some of it was just teenage pettiness. And that's fine, she wasn't hurting anyone. Being a teenager with a crush is hard, and it's harder when you're a demigod with a huge prophecy hanging over you and your best friends heads. So is her anger justified? Maybe. But is she valid? Absolutely.
3. This is the most ridiculous reason yet. First of all, has Percy ever told Annabeth he feels like he deserves to die? I don't think so. Especially not before he almost let himself die with Jason there. I don't know if that person was just expecting Annabeth to guess, or what. Secondly, they were in Tartarus, and Percy did something scary. So of course, Annabeth is going to be scared. If Percy feels like Annabeth being scared makes him want to die, that's not really Annabeth's fault. And to expect Annabeth to make him feel better about something she is still recovering from herself doesn't make much sense, does it. At this point it just felt like they were going to hate Annabeth regardless, and these weren't actual issues they had with her they just saw a reason to hate her and went for it.
Hey, ship whatever you want and hate whoever you want, but don't come with false interpretations(that I know was easy to comprehend) as evidence for why you are right, please.
#percy jackson#annabeth chase#heros of olympus#percabeth#seaweed brain#wise girl#reyna avila ramirez arellano#not pereyna slander#even though I don't really get it#not Rachel slander either#rachel elizabeth dare#anti annabeth antis#anti annabeth bashing#free my girl#she did no wrong#don't mind the rant I just had to get it out#percy jackson and the olympians#mark of athena#rant post#pjo#hoo
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Kinda Tempting pt. 2
Featuring: matt rempe x female reader x mat barzal
Genre: fluff, angst, little bit of smut
Note: i tried my best to refer to rempe as matthew to limit possible confusion of the guys…this was rewritten like 6 times, not entirely happy with it but I know y’all have been asking for part 2 😅🫶🏼 tried to make it so this could continue and we could see both sides of this story
Part 1
“Mmmmm.”
The sun was shining just enough in your eyes to wake you up, immediately making you regret not remembering to close the blinds before going to bed. Though you were a bit preoccupied to remember, chuckling to yourself as you looked at the 6 foot 8 sleeping giant next to you. Now taking notice of his cut up knuckles from yesterday's fight, lightly tracing your fingers over the marks. Earning a soft groan from Matthew.
His eyes fluttering open as he smiled at you, “good morning sunshine,” he stretched as he rolled onto his side, “good morning to you pretty lady.” A smile now on his face as he curled up with his pillow, looking up at you and studying the conflicted look on your face.
“What is it?”
Shaking your head you got up with a sigh, searching for a hoodie to throw on before rejoining him on your bed. “I’m just, thinking.”
“Let me guess….you regret last night?” His words came out with a playful tone, though his face showed a bit of sadness as he sat up and rested his back against your headboard. “Look if I convinced you to do something you didn’t really want to do, and I stirred up a bunch of shit now for you to deal with. I’m sorry, I truly didn’t mean for any of that to happen I just-“
“No, that’s the thing. I don’t regret it. But I feel bad for not regretting it. Am I a shitty person for that?” Matthew laughed along with you as he shrugged.
“I mean, I don’t think you’re a shitty person. I think you’re just, conflicted. I think you’re an amazing girl who is being strung along by her boyfriend, not knowing what the fuck the deal is. Waiting for the day he somehow magically turns back into the guy she fell in love with. But I don’t think that day is coming unfortunately.”
His fingers now entangling with yours as you took in his thoughts.
“I think, you’re unsure what to do. I think your head is telling you one thing, and your heart another. Personally, I don’t know the reason why you won’t leave him. And maybe that’s not for me to know. But I think you deserve so much more. I think you could do better, be happier, be with someone who isn’t gonna be another Mat Barzal.”
“And that’s you?”
Your tone catching him off guard a bit, but he laughed it off. “I’m not saying that, and I’m not saying any of this to try and get you to leave Mat for me. I’m sure you might be thinking I’m that kind of guy right now, especially after last night, but I’m not. I simply am saying this as a guy who thinks it would be an honor to call you his girlfriend. A guy who would take every opportunity to show you how amazing you are. To never make you feel the way you do right now being with Mat. But by no means am I trying to get you to leave him for me. Because I don’t think I need to convince you to do that.”
Just as you opened your mouth to challenge his cocky statement, your phone buzzed on the bed.
“It’s him…” Matthew gesturing for you to answer the call as he got up to get dressed.
“Hello?”
“Hey, sorry about yesterday. Just, wasn’t a good day. You know how it is. But um, I kind of realize I’ve not been the best boyfriend lately. And, I feel like I need to make it up to you.”
While you wanted to believe that he was being genuine, you’d heard this from Mat before. He’d apologize, be a better guy for a few days, then things would end up right back where they were.
“Let’s go grab lunch, maybe do some shopping. Spend the day together and make up for the last few months we’ve been apart.”
Matthew was mouthing the words go for it, and you rolled your eyes at him. His words still on your mind, not sure why you were still going to entertain fixing things with Mat if you just fucked another guy behind his back.
“Um, yeah sure.”
“Yeah? Great! I’ll be at your place in like an hour?”
“Sounds good. See you soon.”
Hanging up the phone you flopped down on your bed face first. “What’s the matter now?” Matthew laughed as he belly flopped onto the bed next to you, trying his best to make you laugh or smile.
“What the fuck do I do? He wants to make up for being absent and everything, and you’re over here telling me I shouldn’t entertain it!”
Matthew put his hands up in protest, “now wait a minute i didn’t say don’t entertain it. I simply am saying to be cautious and look out for yourself. Because, after the way you two interacted yesterday, I just think he’s full of it. But I could be wrong, and this lunch date could change everything. I don’t know. I simply am speaking as someone who cares. I want the best for you, and if that’s him, then great. I’ll still be here for the days you need to cry, or vent, or need to have some fun.”
He shot you a wink as his signature cocky grin found its place on his lips and you shook your head. “Matthew Rempe, you are not going to be some side piece for me while I figure out my relationship.” Standing up you headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for your date with Mat.
“And why’s that?” He called after you, leaning in the doorway as you pulled your makeup bag out from under your sink. “Because, you’re a human being, you have feelings. And I’m not just going to use you like that.”
He stepped in front of you, stealing your attention as he brushed your hair from your face. “But what if I’m okay with it?”
“You are really something else you know that?”
He shrugged as he stole a kiss from your lips.
“Well you make it really easy for me to make bad decisions.” He winked at you, stealing another kiss before heading to the kitchen to grab his keys.
“So you’re saying this is a bad decision?” You gestured to the two of you with your makeup brush. “Maybe, call me after lunch and tell me if you think so.”
He closed the door behind him and you let out a groan, not enjoying the position you were in at all. On one hand, your boyfriend of 2 years who was your first love. But who has checked out and left you feeling like it was time to walk away. Then on the flip side, a younger and wild Rempe, who knew what he wanted and didn’t hide it. Which you appreciated, and found quite hot. But how do you just up and leave Mat, and did you want to? None of this was fair to him, but then again, the way you’ve been strung along all these months not knowing where the two of you stand wasn’t fair either.
“Hey babe.”
Mat smiled at you as you climbed into his BMW. “Hey,” You flashed a smile as he leaned in to give you a kiss, “don’t you look handsome.”
He shrugged, “wanted to look good for you I guess. So what are we feeling, Italian? Mexican? A burger and fries?” Buckling your seatbelt you told yourself to listen to Matthew, let this date happen how it’s meant to happen. Don’t force anything one way or the other, let whatever the hell is gonna happen, happen. “Well we both know you’re always in the mood for Italian.”
“I’m a sucker for the carbs what can i say. Plus a glass of wine doesn’t sound too awful right now.”
His hand resting on the gear shift as he pulled out of the parking garage. The drive to the restaurant quiet, the result of you two being apart for so long that it was almost awkward between you two.
So far, your brain was telling you this wasn’t a good sign that this date was magically going to fix things.
“So, how late did you stay up doing your stuff last night?” Mat asking from behind his wine glass as you chuckled. “Um my job? I was up pretty late doing that stuff. Couldn’t even tell you how long I edited for last night.” Your voice trailing off as you sipped your wine, your palms sweaty just thinking about the secret you were hiding from him.
“I believe it, probably had a ton of footage to sift through.” He didn’t even make eye content when talking to you, glancing over the menu as you rested your chin on your fist with a sigh. “Plus I had extra clips to edit of Matt Rempe since it was his debut and everything.”
Mat laughed as he nodded, “Yeah that kid is something else. A fight his first shift, probably gonna end up with more penalty minutes than minutes on ice this season. That is if he lasts.” You were a bit surprised by his comments, Mat never the type to shit talk other guys in the league. “Hey, he earned his spot yesterday and he’s gonna keep working hard to stay up here. He’s a great guy. I personally think you’d like him, if you got to know him versus judging him…”
Your voice trailed off as your server brought your food. “Okay, no more hockey talk. Where shall I take you shopping? Need a new purse? Some shoes? I know you never turn down shoes.” He smiled at you as he wiped the pasta sauce from his chin.
This was always Mat’s way of fixing things. He loved to shop, both for you and for himself. So anytime he felt like he’d fucked up, his solution was to buy you everything you wanted without checking a price tag. But the material things never actually addressing the root of the problem that was there to begin with. Simply covering it up with new shoes, a new jacket, or purse.
“I don’t care, wherever is fine. Nothing I really need if I’m honest.” Your tone caught him off guard, at this point you were over this lunch date. Wishing you hadn’t even thought for a second that things were going to get better. “Okay, do you want to just go home and watch a movie or something? Since shopping doesn’t seem to be a good idea today.”
“Sure, a movie is fine.”
Mat decided for the two of you to head back to his place, due to traffic being crazy heading in the direction of your apartment. The car ride once again quiet, Mat a bit unsure what to talk about. He’d offended you when talking about your job and judging Rempe. Shopping normally be something you liked to do with him, but that too seemed to be a bad idea.
It wasn’t that he was on oblivious to the fact that things between you two were different, he just didn’t know why or how he could fix it. Feeling like it was a battle he’d already lost in your eyes. And no matter how hard he might try to prove to you he was still willing to fight, you’d just blow him off. Already moved on in your mind.
“Wow, someone has been decorating. Who helped you with this?” You looked around his apartment shocked, never knowing Mat to be a good decorator. “Well thanks, I didn’t think I sucked that bad at interior design. I maybe had a little help, but for the most part it was all me.”
He smiled proud as he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“So, what movie are you thinking?”
Taking your glass you shrugged, “surprise me? You’re better at picking movies than me.” Mat laughing as he placed the stopper back in the bottle. “This is true, let me take a quick look at our options.”
Subconsciously you had practically chugged your glass of wine, your nerves rampant as you didn’t know what the hell you were doing. Clearly you were unhappy, this date not going at all how you hoped. You still were holding out hope, but the more and more Mat didn’t talk to you or kept conversation short, the more your thoughts were racing.
“Do you still love me?”
Mat snapped his head to you, almost laughing as he couldn’t believe you’d asked such a thing. Almost shocked a bit yourself at your boldness to just come right out and say that. “Um, yes? Why would you even ask that?”
“When’s the last time you said it? Do you realize what I’ve been going through these last few months? Hell let’s just say the whole last year. I barely see you! We barely speak, and lord knows we haven’t had sex in months. Not that it matters that much, but we both know you like sex. So the fact we haven’t even done that…Like, are you just waiting for me to breakup with you? Or am I supposed to just wait around for you to start acting like the man I fell in love with again?”
He set his wine glass down, trying to figure out what to say. Feeling like no matter what he said at this point it would probably come across like an excuse.
“I, I don’t know what to say. Because, I don’t have a good enough reason for why I’ve been acting this way. And, you’re right. You don’t deserve this. Maybe, you should’ve given up on me a long time ago. I don’t know y/n, I can’t lie to you and say I don’t notice that it’s different. But I also don’t know what to do to fix it.”
“Kiss me! Hold me! Tell me you love me. Get excited to see me after months of hardly talking. There’s plenty of things you could do. The answer isn’t to treat me to lunch and take me shopping. I don’t need food and clothes, I need my boyfriend. I need to feel like you love me. Like you miss me.”
“And you don’t think I feel that way?”
His tone coming out hurt, his hands running through his hair as he tried to think of a response.
“Notice how you haven’t said it once. Even when I point it out, you say yes and agree, but you haven’t once said it to me. And that speaks volumes.”
Grabbing your phone and purse you headed for the door, Mat quickly running to stop you. “Now wait a minute, I get I’ve been absent and not the same guy I used to be, but I’ve never been the type to let you walk out like this. Please, talk to me. Help me understand what you need from me so we can make things work.”
Retreating to the couch, you sat down with a sigh, not sure what to say. “Mat, I shouldn’t have to tell you what I need. You’re my boyfriend. We’ve been together long enough that you should know me better than this. If you’ve fallen out of love with me, then tell me. If you’ve been seeing other people, then tell me. But please don’t keep stringing me along when it’s clear this isn’t working for us right now.”
He looked at you shocked, the assumption he was cheating hitting him like a train in his chest. “You’re joking? You think I’ve been cheating on you? Please y/n, that’s ridiculous. Where is all of this coming from? You say that I’m no longer the guy you fell in love with, but you’re starting to give me the same energy. I’ve never heard you talk like this…maybe you’re the one seeing other people?”
Stopping in your tracks you looked at him shocked, a slight chuckle leaving his lips as you tried to formulate a thought. “Yeah, doesn’t feel good being accused of that does it?”
“Of course not! No one ever wants to be accused of something like that. You know I love you, I’ve stuck by your side through so much. And I’m sorry if I’ve felt shut out or neglected. But I don’t understand what’s changed, why you won’t make time for me and prove to me that this relationship isn’t lost?”
Mat looked to the floor as he shook his head, acknowledging the things you’d said. Realizing that you were right, things had changed. And maybe he was too focused on his job that he refused to believe he’d dropped the ball.
The two of you stood in silence for a moment, you sniffled as he walked toward you, wrapping you in a hug. Your body completely relaxing in his embrace, this hug was just like you’d remembered. It was what you needed, to feel him hold you tight and reassure you things were okay.
He took your face in his hands, resting his forehead on yours as he softly kissed you. “I fucking love you, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t want to lose you. I will do whatever I have to, to prove to you that you’re it for me y/n. I’m sorry you’ve felt like I don’t care or don’t love you.”
Your hands anxiously pulling at the hem of his shirt, this was what you’d wanted, needed to hear from him. But at the same time, a part of you wished he would’ve said the opposite. Despite Matthew wanting you to try and make things work with Mat, you knew deep down he wanted things to end. He wanted to be with you, but his heart wasn’t going to let him come between you and another man. That wasn’t the type of guy he was, despite his willingness to see you behind closed doors while you figured your shit out.
“Please, just don’t walk out on me tonight. Stay with me, let me make this right between us.”
Simply nodding your head, Mat had convinced you. His lips crashing to yours as he lifted you off your feet, carrying you down the hall to his bedroom before tossing you on the bed.
He gazed down at you as he pulled his shirt off with a cocky grin, before lowering himself on top of you to bring your lips back to his. “I fucking missed you baby.”
Arching your back against him you moaned into the kiss, your skin practically on fire from his touch. Something you’d been deprived of for so long.
“God I missed you Mat.”
Your thoughts racing as you tried your best to just focus on the moment, ignoring any doubts or worries about Matthew. Mat was your boyfriend, this was the man you loved.
The two of you couldn’t get enough of each other, hands grazing every inch of one another as you both were short of breath. It was as if it were the first time you two were having sex, having to learn what each other liked, explore each other features again.
Mat normally loving to tease you and make you beg, but not tonight. Tonight he needed to show you how much he loved you, how much he cared, how sorry he was for being such an asshole to you. Yet you stuck by his side, and he’d loved you so much for that.
You’d tried to get Mat on his back so you could take some control, but he playfully pinned your arms above your head. “Not tonight baby girl, let me take care of you.”
His words sending shivers down your spine as he sat up, undoing his belt buckle then forcing his pants and briefs down in one motion. You’re gaze not leaving his as his hands traced up your legs, fingers hooking into the waistband of your leggings, pulling them off and tossing them across the room along with your panties.
“Mat, hurry up. A girl has gone months without this, I can’t wait much longer.”
Smirking down at you, he stroked himself as he teased your slit, groaning at how wet you already were. “Fuck baby, I missed how wet you get for me.” Without warning he thrusts into you, the two of you moaning at the feeling, expletives leaving your lips as you feel yourself adjusting to him. Wrapping your legs around him as he slowly began picking up the pace, your nails digging into the skin of his back as your lips longed for his. The kisses not deep enough, thrusts not hard enough, the two of you needing even more.
“Baby, I’m not going to last much longer. You feel so fucking good.”
“Cum for me Mat, please. I’m so close.”
His thrusts quick and sloppy, his breaths shorter as he cursed against your skin. A low groan leaving his lips as he came, the two of you sweaty and exhausted as you tried to collect yourselves.
“Fuck…now tell me why we haven’t done that in months?”
Mat smirked at you as he stood up, leaving to go start the shower before coming back and lifting you off the bed. “Alright, now let’s get you cleaned up.” He pressed a kiss to your lips as he carried you bridal style into the bathroom. The two of you rinsing off before climbing back into bed.
You threw on one of Mat’s t-shirts as he pulled on a pair of sweats. Laying down and holding his arm out for you to find your spot next to him. Fingers intertwining with yours as you lay your head on his chest.
“I missed this, so much.”
You felt him smile at your words, kissing your head as he agreed. “Me too baby girl. And I’m sorry you ever thought I didn’t want this with you anymore.”
The room fell silent as you were content just enjoying feeling normal again, like you’d finally gotten back to where you’d been needing to be. In your head, thanking Matthew for convincing you to even go out on the date with Mat to begin with. For convincing you to see what would happen.
Though a part of you knew it would hurt him to know you were back on good terms. Despite him saying he hoped things would work out, you knew he would still be heartbroken to know you and Mat were making it work.
“Y/n?”
The tone is Mat’s voice slightly changing, catching you off guard as you hummed a response, letting him know you were listening.
“I really am going to be better. Make more of an effort, whether that be calls, or driving to see you more often. I’m going to be better. I don’t want you to ever have to wonder if I’m missing you, if I still love you, or god forbid if I’m cheating on you.”
Your heart sinking at having accused him of the very thing you’d done just the night before. When here he was, trying to prove to you he’d just been distant, but he never lost his love for you.
“I know, I hear everything you’re saying. And I appreciate it, more than you know.”
He’d gone silent for a moment once again, you could sense he was thinking, hearing his heart racing as you laid on his chest. Soon enough, he shot up, moving to sit in front of you. Catching you off guard as you looked at him confused.
“What is it?”
Mat took your hands in his, practically choking on his own tongue as he couldn’t get his words out.
“You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but just hear me out.” Staring at him you were unsure of what you should be expecting him to say. Already happy enough with the fact that you’d, fingers crossed, gotten your boyfriend back. What else could he say now?
“I have loved you from the first day you’d found me at the rink, and shoved your phone in my face asking me to be a part of one of those dumb Tik Tok challenges. You didn’t give a fuck about who I was, just doing your job. And to be honest, that made me want to chase you even harder. Because you weren’t one of those girls who wanted me because of my looks. Or because I was a hockey player. You got to know me for who I was, and you took the time to see me for more than Mat Barzal of the New York Islanders.”
He smiled at you as he continued on, your mind and heart both racing as you couldn’t foresee the end of his sudden heartfelt moment.
“It breaks my heart you’ve felt alone for the last year. That you felt I had fallen out of love with you. But I promise, there would never be anything that could make me fall out of love with you y/n. And, I know you’re going to think I’m crazy when I ask this, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
He briefly looked down at your hands in his, taking a deep breath as if to gain the confidence to finally spit out the words he’d been stalling from saying.
“Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?”
#matt rempe#nhl imagine#matt rempe fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl fics#hockey fic#hockey imagine#matt rempe imagine#mat barzal fic#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal imagine
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Luke is definitely upset for Sammy, especially after what went down in the gling to worlds fic
He knows she was so excited to spend time with Will
even though we saw some of luke’s reaction already, here’s a small blurb of him calling will about it:
the phone rang four times before will finally picked up. luke paced around his room with anger written all over his face because even though samy and him mom said not to be mean, luke was gonna be mean.
“dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” luke spat out without even a hello or a how are you, similarly to how ryan greeted will the other night on the phone.
the blonde flinched, “you’re gonna be on my back too?”
“what the fuck do you mean i’m gonna be on your back?! of course i am! you spend an entire month with my sister in prague and then you go and break up with her as soon as we get home? what the fuck?” luke wasn’t having any of it. he’s known this kid for his entire life so the older boy was very confused on what got into him.
will flinched again at luke’s harsh tone, but he knew he deserved it. “i’m sorry,” was all the boy could manage.
“jesus christ, sorry? that’s it? did something happen between you two or what? i’ve never seen my sister this sad about something before and that’s saying a lot,” luke continued, his tone cooling off just the slightest.
“no nothing happened. i just..i don’t know man,” will frowned at the idea of samy being upset because of him.
“i’m giving you thirty seconds to come up with a better excuse than whatever you just said to me,” luke grew a bit impatient. when will didn’t say anything more, the brunette scoffed in annoyance. “look, i’ve known you your whole life. i won’t pry into things, but i never ever thought you and my sister would break up or stop being friends for that matter. you don’t have to tell me, but i’m worried for my sister and you,” the older boy’s tone softened out even more.
a sigh escaped will’s lips, “there’s just a lot going on, i guess. i can’t be the great boyfriend she wants me to be when we’re across the country from each other. she doesn’t deserve that from me. she deserves someone who’s there for her all the time. i can’t do that from california. i just..it’s for the best.”
“so said she cared about that? she doesn’t care about any of that, will. you’re all that has mattered to her. the distance..fuck that. she knows you have obligations to your sport. i don’t think she would’ve started dating you if she knew that,” luke tried.
“that’s the problem, though. i know her to know that the distance bothers her sometimes too but she’d never say any of that to me. i just thought doing it now would save us from something worse later on,” will tried explaining his reasoning.
“i think the worse has already happened, will. your logic is like highkey shit. she was so excited to be in worlds with you and support you and then you just turn around and do this shit?” the brunette shook his head in disappointment even though will couldn’t see.
“look, i already feel worse, okay? but no one’s changing my mind about any of this. she deserves better,” will stood firm on his decision.
"you're actually the stupidest person i've ever met. i'll talk to you later, man," luke didn't have anything else to say, so he ended the call.
a frustrated sigh left the boy's lips knowing will and samy were definitely not getting back together anytime soon.
#will smith hockey#hughes!sister x will smith au#samy x will#samy hughes#boston college hockey#boston college#will smith x oc#will smith imagine#uofmichigan#umich hockey#san jose sharks#sjs#ws6#bc eagles#bc hockey#luke hughes#boston college hockey blurb#will smith hockey angst
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Shazam #12 (2024) Spoilers
The new issue came out, and I just wanted to talk about it. (1/2)
Feel free to share your thoughts! You can read here if you want.
First things first:
Billy & Captain Marvel switching places in the Rock of Eternity confirmed (sort of, he doesn't explain what more complicated means)
Second:
For those who didn't read the new issue but still clicked, Billy's mom came back right towards the end of the Vasquez's adopting all the siblings because she wants Billy back. Therefore, stopping the process of Billy finally being adopted.
And Billy has a new brother?!? Not really a fan of the idea but I'm not sure if we'll see much of them.
Billy's upset from looking at those family photos. Imagine abandoning your child just to keep the new one? Not only that, but actually trying and giving him a better life. Please, at least let it be a stepson and not biological. 🙏
Was not expecting Billy to have something in common with Eleanor Shellstrop but here we are.
Literally the same speech, he's so hurt :( 💔
The difference from when she was with Billy:
You don't deserve that boy. 😭
Overall, I'm not sure how to feel about this storyline. The Vasquez are his real family, and they know his secret about being Captain Marvel. Also pretty sure it won't work out in the end because of that. I know she's working on becoming a better person, but he was literally about to be adopted with all his siblings.
Idk much about the foster system, but maybe she'll get visitation rights or be able to stay in contact with him if it goes well and if he wants to.
Third:
Captain Marvel trying his best to keep Billy's mom away from him because he knew he'll only get hurt🥺 (Even if some of it had to do with what was happening with the rock of eternity)
He really cares about Billy :(
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It's weird to expect lb to be able to read cn mind and called her a bad partner for it. But it's even weirder for lb to ignore cn WHEN HES OBVIOUSLY IN DISTRESS and not called her a bad partner for it because I think called her a bad partner for ignoring it is understandable and justified especially since she consider herself as his boss.
Every time I bring up this conflict, I try to make it clear that I don't think Ladybug was blameless, I just think Chat Noir's writing was worse. Let's walk through the problem to show what I mean.
Season four stars with Marinette extremely stressed by her new Guardian status. In Truth and Lies, the first episodes of the season, we get this:
Ladybug: Will you cut it out with the practical jokes? I could have really hurt you!
Cat Noir:(answering while hanging by the yo-yo) M'lady, the only thing that really hurts me is when you make me go on patrol by myself. (sighs, relaxing his posture) I even missed your little angry pout.
Ladybug: Sorry, Kitty Cat, I'm a bit over my head at the moment. (pulling him up)
Cat Noir: I bet! "Guardian of the Miraculous", big name, big responsibility!
This is also the start to Chat Noir communicating poorly. In this episode, he's straight up told that Ladybug is in over her head and he never once asks how he can help. In fact, we even get him saying this when asked how he feels about the change:
Truth: Cat Noir, tell me what- (interupted by Ladybug throwing a present at Truth)
Ladybug: (covering her parasol with foil) ...do you think about my new role as guardian!
Cat Noir: If it doesn't change things between us, then I'm good with it!
So not a great start to the season. I know people focused on Adrien's terrible treatment of Kagami in these episodes, but this Ladynoir dynamic was actually what rang alarm bells for me. I kept waiting for Chat Noir to offer his support since it was really, really obvious that Ladybug was in over her head since she was late to patrols, the last season literally ended with her losing her mentor figure, and, you know, she straight up told him that was what was going on?
The next episode is Gang of Secrets in which we see Marinette out her identity to Alya. I get why she did this, she needed support and her partner doesn't seem interested in giving it, but she can't say that for certain because she never asked him directly and she should have. Trusting Chat Noir over Alya would have allowed Ladynette to maintain the security of her secret identity - a thing she claimed was more important than ever - and to honor their partnership. At the very least, she should have told Chat Noir that Rena Rouge was now a full time holder so that he could account for that in battle and to minimize the fallout by owning up to her mistake asap. The longer a lie goes on, the worse the truth will hurt.
To Ladybug's credit, she does eventually acknowledge her mistake after the Scarabella incident:
Ladybug: You... must've been pretty surprised to discover there was another holder!
(Silence. She sits beside Cat Noir.)
Ladybug: I'm really sorry, Cat Noir. I should've told you. I mean, if I found out that you told someone about your secret identity, I'd... probably be upset, too. I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings.
This is a decent apology. She doesn't try to absolve herself of wrong doing. Instead, she acknowledges that what she did would hurt her, too, if the shoe were on the other foot. The only thing she loses points on is the fact that she doesn't tell him about Rena Furtive.
However, instead of agreeing with her and telling her that she has hurt him, Chat Noir says that she did nothing wrong and never once brings up how their weakened partnership is bothering him:
Cat Noir: You didn't hurt my feelings. You did everything right. Paris will always need a Ladybug superhero to watch over her. It's just... I realized that if one day that hero wasn't you, m'lady, since we don't know each other's identities, that means... I'd never see you again. Ever. And now, I just don't know if I can bear it.
This is the thing that I hate about this arc. The reason why I say Ladybug is blamed for not reading his mind. Especially because, three episodes later, we get Rocketear, which gives us this:
Cat Noir: Everyone has doubts now and then, (looks down) even me...
Ladybug: Is everything okay, Cat Noir?
Cat Noir: Yeah, yeah. (prepare his fist) Pound it!
Ladybug: (fistbumps) Pound it!
Rocketear is the episode where Nino outs that he and Alya know each other's identities while acting like Ladybug said identities weren't a big deal even though that is very much not what happened. You'd think that Chat Noir would want to know the full story, but instead he just lies and says that everything is fine.
So we have two situations where the show allowed Ladybug to give Chat Noir a chance for clear and open communication and both times he turns her down.
What's worse is that he clearly starts making up stories in his head, leading to Kuro Neko, which starts with Adrien avoiding a fight on purpose as some sort of shit test. He then gets upset when Ladybug... doesn't lament his absence on national TV?
Clara: (from TV) By the way, where's Cat Noir? You've saved Paris without him quite a few times recently. Are you two at odds with each other?
Carapace, Pegasus, Vesperia and Pigella: (from TV) Pound it!
Ladybug: (from TV) Of course not, it's just that... umm, he's a partner like any other! The most important is to pick the best superheroes for each mission, with or without Cat Noir. No matter what, we've got a great team and we'll always be here to save Paris.
(Adrien is shocked.)
Adrien: (turns off the TV and sighs) "A partner like any other..."
Dude, what did you want her to do here? Complain that you flaked on her? Make Paris feel less safe by saying she doesn't know where you are? Imply that the fight was barely won without you? What are you doing? Plagg, you are completely failing as a mentor right now.
The shit test continues as Chat Noir goes to meet up with Ladybug now that the battle is over, arriving just as Ladybug has finished instructing the team on what to do:
Ladybug: Come on, guys! Hurry up before you all detransform. I'll meet you at rendezvous points.
(The heroes jump away in different directions, and Ladybug starts typing something on her Yo-yo.)
Cat Noir: Hey! Meow are you, m'lady?
Ladybug: Great, thanks, but I gotta go retrieve all these Miraculous.
Cat Noir: I could lend you a paw to help save time.
Ladybug: Thanks, kitty cat, but it's a guardian's job to do it.
Cat Noir: I know who some of them are, remember? I was there when you first gave them their Miraculous!
Ladybug: You don't even know where their rendezvous points are, I don't have time to—
Cat Noir: Playing cat and mouse is my forte, you know—
Ladybug: (yelling) If you wanna save me time, stop wasting it in the first place!
(Cat Noir gasps. As Ladybug swings away, Cat Noir clenches his fist.)
Cat Noir: And take my Miraculous back when you're done!
So Ladybug doesn't publicly chastise Chat Noir for missing the battle and rejects an offer to help because of very legitimate timing concerns, leading to Chat Noir quitting because she failed his stupid, petty, childish tests. Realistic writing? Yes. Writing that paints Ladybug as the one in the wrong? No.
Going into this episode, Ladybug has no idea that things are messed up between them even though she has actually kept communication lines open. She asks him if things are okay, but he lies. And when he's ready to quit? He plays stupid games and wins a stupid prize. It's really not shocking that the next scene sees Ladybug totally baffled by what just happened:
Plagg: For a while now, you've been neglecting this camembert— I mean Cat Noir, and going on adventures with the all other cheeses!
Ladybug: But he should be happy about it, it gives him more time off.
Plagg: Cat Noir doesn't wanna have time off, Ladybug! He is in love with you! And your persistent calling on all the other heroes has broken his heart.
And how is she supposed to know that, Plagg? Was she supposed to assume that her partner was lying when he said he was fine? Because she did ask and he said that nothing was wrong. But something was wrong and it lead him to build up a story in his head, reading nonexistent intent into her actions, all of which is toxic and unhealthy communication.
I cannot stress how common this shit is. I've seen it so many times and I will own that I've done it in the past and wound up getting no support when I needed it because I'd directly told people I didn't and they committed the heinous crime of... believing me.
Here's the other thing, there are times when I'm in distress and legitimately don't want or need help. Times when I just need to be alone for a bit. So if someone asks me if I'm okay during those times, I'm probably just going to say, "Yeah, I just need a people break" or something like that. That's why the Scarabella scene is so bad. Ladybug can see that Chat Noir is in distress and he gives her a fully plausible answer: I'm not upset with you, I'm just saddened by the idea of losing you. And she believes him because why wouldn't she?
Same goes for Rocketear. It's reasonable for Ladybug to assume that Chat Noir is just shaken by the fight. She has no idea about the bombshell that Nino dropped right before the fight. She doesn't even know that Nino and Chat Noir are actually close friends, making this fight a lot more devastating than it looks at face value. Her actions here are not objectively wrong. They're only wrong if you know the whole story, including Adrien's needs. Things that she cannot know unless Chat Noir uses his words to tell her things.
I cannot over stress how much season four is a textbook example of denying yourself support because you cannot communicate your own needs. Is it an understandable character flaw for a character with Adrien's background to have? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. But it's still a character flaw. This season desperately needed an arc about Adrien learning to tell people what's wrong. Not because he's the only one in the wrong here, but because things cannot get better when Ladybug has no idea that she's hurting him. (Nino has no idea either, but let's keep our focus on Ladybug.)
One of the most important things you can do for your own mental well being is to dismiss the idea that your needs are the same as everyone else's. Everyone needs different amounts of attention and values different behavior based on things like their upbringing and life events.
I get the feeling that I'm wired pretty similar to Marinette. At least, it influences how I write her because I can go months without talking to my best friends and still call them my best friends, a trait we all share because two of use are artsy introverts and two of us are moms to young kids, which allows for very little free time. Meanwhile, my SO and his best friend spend hours on the phone almost every week. I swear that those two go into withdrawal if they don't talk at least once every seven days. If months went by without them talking? Something would be very wrong, but the exact same time gap isn't even remotely concerning when it comes to my friends. It's something my SO and I had to figure out when we got together because I need a lot less attention than he does. But we communicated and found a balance that we continue to work to communicate about so that he doesn't feel neglected and I don't feel overwhelmed by too little me time.
What I'm trying to say is Marinette wasn't horribly wrong for assuming that Chat Noir was telling her the truth or that he liked having a larger team so he had less responsibility. Those are reasonable assumptions. Especially since he never actually indicated that he wanted more responsibility until he was ready to quit and decided to shit test her by pushing for more to do when she was stressed and on a timer.
I do think that she should have offered it to him before that or - at the very least - the show should have clearly stated why she didn't do that since it apparently had nothing to do with Chat Blanc trauma like we all thought it did. I'm not saying that she's blameless or perfect or that there weren't things she could have done better. It's just really hard for me to look at Chat Noir's behavior in season four and go, "Oh yeah, he's the injured party here. Ladybug holds all the blame and did everything wrong." She did many things wrong, but generally speaking, she owned her faults and tried to keep communication channels open. Chat Noir chose to ignore those chances to talk or otherwise try to express his needs in a clear and understandable manner.
We'll end with one final point to drive this home: You said that she's his boss. Well, if my boss asked me, "is everything okay with the project?" and I said, "yes" while freaking out about the upcoming deadline that I'm probably going to miss because he's given me too much work, the issue is not all on my boss. It's on both of us. Him for overloading me and me for not telling him I'm overloaded. You could even argue that it's mostly on me because I'm the only one who can properly gauge my own ability to do a given workload. As soon as it was too much, I should have said something. And if I don't feel like my boss is approachable? Then I should quit. But that isn't the situation I'm in and it doesn't appear to be the one that Chat Noir was in, either. He wanted to stay part of the team, he just totally failed to tell Ladybug how being on the team was making him feel.
People magically knowing what you need and how you feel is a myth. I promise you, most people in this world do not want to cause you pain, but if you cannot clearly express when someone is causing you pain, then you will continue to get hurt by people who would be very happy to not hurt you if they actually knew that their actions were causing you pain.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#adrien deserves better#marinette deserves better#I do give Luka a bit of a side eye for not getting involved after Wishmaker though#Dude's supposed to be some sort of empath and he's at his best when he's in a mentor role#He should have been allowed to be Adrien's Alya since Nino is clearly not suited for the role#Season four my belothed#kuro Neko salt#ml season 4 salt#you cannot expect someone to correct their behavior when no one is telling them that they're behaving badly#And no one calls Marinette out so of course she doesn't change her behavior!#She is shown to be willing to change when prompted too#She only knew that something was wrong post Scarabella because Alya told her#Do you really think Marinette was aware that she was hurting Chat Noir and just willfully kept doing it?#Or is it more likely that she just didn't know because no one told her?#Feel free to give Tikki some blame too because she's been a real shitty mentor for a while now#which breaks my heart because I love Tikki and Plagg and want them to be good mentors
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Sometimes, I really want an animated show about the OT characters. Their adventures, serious and silly, as they become friends and family long before Luke and Leia discover that they're siblings. Stories about Leia struggling with going from princess to general. Luke struggling with being a Jedi and a commander. The Rogue Squadron and their adventures. Han and Chewie barely keeping up with the Space Twin shenanigans.
But, then I remember how each of these characters were treated in the Sequel Trilogy, and I realise that it doesn't matter. No amount of stories about them will change the fact that they all die alone away from each other, that they gave up their childhood, their homes, themselves to the safety of the galaxy and that none of it ever mattered. And I can't enjoy canon stories about them because it won't change their ending, and I can't forget that.
#sequel trilogy#this is not really anti sequel trilogy because i dont hate it but i really dislike how the OT characters were portrayed#luke skywalker#leia organa#han solo#chewbacca#lando calrissian#they ALL deseved better#i have to live in a worls where Luke abandoned his sister and i just refuse to believe he would do that#the fact that they made Leia wait for Luke has sooo angry because she deserved better than to be abandoned by her brother and best friend#and do NOT get me started on the divorce!!!#pro jedi#we deserved to see Luke thriving as a Jedi because you know he would#we deserved to see Leia kick the Senate into a good working New Republic#Han should've been a house-husband and i stick by that#Luke Skywalker's Jedi Academy deserved to outlive him#also i know the comics exist but they're barely considered canon unless the writer for a new live action SW project#wants to steal the comic writer's stories without compensation
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Hiii ! Hope im not too nosy for replying to your tag to my post but im just a yap king;; I definitely think that the fact that kaito can pass as shinichi was like, invented after dc and mk got their universes merged? i dont think it was intendet at the beginning at all, but its definitely such a fun gag that, yeah theyre just similar,, and its implemented more nicely that them being related :(
ALSO YEAH EVEN THE TOICHI ALIVE REVEAL ??? I AM JUST PROCESSING THAT ??? imagine thinking your father has been dead for the past 8 years and then ??? IT TURNS OUT HES ALIVE ?? i wonder what will kaito react,, like i would just be in shambles if i would out my father was actually alive and i have been sacrificing my own life once a month just to find his murderers…
also from what i heard toichi has been conversing w yusaku; if thats true, why not share it with kaito that his father IS ALIVE even if not well ?? i definitely hope there will be some decent explanations or something but damn,,,
also toichi & yusaku's relationship is definitely more different with the lense of them being siblings ?
all these fuckass plot points make me want to rip my hair out
at this point i say lets just invent our own plots
i really do have to watch the movie as well because ive been just consuming other ppls posts djhgdjdsghkjfs
I was the nosy one anyway. I don't even watch Detective Conan anymore. I really don't like where it's going. Ran and Shinichi dating and she still doesn't know??? Isn't that unfair to her? What happened to hiding because the Black organization will kill his loved ones (such a stupid excuse but fine. Maybe he's scared whatever) wouldn't the Black organization prioritize killing Ran now? She's his girlfriend now after all. Isn't it stupid for such a huge secret organization to just massacre people because one kid didn't die? It's so stupid.
But it is my first anime. I loved it to bits as a kid and it still holds a soft spot in my silly heart to this day.
Kaito and Shinichi being doppelgangers was important so Kaito could pull his stunts so well, even if it happened after the merging of universes (lol) it's still canon that they look the same. Even enough to fool Ran who seems to have some weird Shinichi sixth sense sometimes. But I mostly remember those happening in the movies and the movies are 'not canon probably' most of the time.
It's stupid but????? Kaito Kid's dad is alive?? What? Poor Kaito is getting shot at once a month by the police and the people who almost murdered Toiichi (What's up with the organization Kaito is fighting now? Were they just staged to be killers? Did they fail to kill Toichi???) Looking for a magic red stone of immortality to find his dad's killers and his dad is alive? And you know his dad knows about the stunts Kaito pulls. Kaito Kid is infamous and he'd be a shittier dad if he didn't even check up on his son while in hiding.
What??? Yusaku is involved now?? Did he so easily agree to not touch Shinichi precious Black organization case because he's helping his brother? Are Shinichi and Kaito even aware that they are cousins? Are Yusaku and Toiichi aware that they are brothers? So many questions. It's so stupid I also wanna rip my hair out!
Oh by the way, about the ship stuff. Found this gem on twitter. You guys, just do you XD
#Kaito is a saint if he just celebrates his dad's apparent revival. I would feel mixed emotions if it were me.#i gave up on detective conan already how you people hold on with these plot points i have no idea#you guys are stronger than me#i just want ran to be with someone else because she deserves better.#omg ran. i could rant about her too.#they deserve better plot than this...#i will watch the movie probably just to know what the ever loving hell is going on#but yeah. how do you even save detective conan now#there's also the theory way back when that the organizations shinichi and kaito are chasing are the same are their dads looking into that?#i could rant about this all day but i also haven't watched it in a long time so my memory isn't the best which makes me more or less#unqualified to say too much.#still pissed though#if fictional mass murderers can be loved. so too can fictional incest relationships between fictional characters#it's fiction i don't think it should be a big deal. let the haters hate XD no reak crime committed
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i dont have it in me to write an email tonight
#would you? would you if you were me?#tales from diana#im not gonna post it bc it's a present for somebody but. i finished that drawing ive been working on for like a month now#i also. for reasons don't really want anybody to find out who the drawing is of. dont wanna put him in danger#or the person it's for. or anything. so it's not going to be on tumblr. unless we someday live in a better world. sorry#or when there are museum exhibits on me im sure this work (my first commission too) will be very significant and the characters involved#but that'll have to wait for my posthumous fame. so sorry everyone.#but anyway the subject of the portrait. it's for his girlfriend right but i really wanna make copies for his family#specifically his mother. because she deserves it. that's her little boy.#im gonna ask my former drawing professor who told me to keep in touch. how i should scan and if he knows any good printers#best i know is redbubble... which is not the first choice im going to have lol#also my friend who commissioned it keeps showing everybody who knows this guy and asking if they want to pay for a copy lol#he's tryna get me more business i appreciate it
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literally when I see women being frustrated with other women for staying with abusive men I feel like I'm watching the ouroboros. Like I get it, it happens to everyone, I've been there, but it's so self sabatoging.
#don't come at me if you're one of those girls currently angry at her friend for continuing to date an abuser after you and everyone else#told her not to#I spent 7 years watching different men beat my mother and I've had a lot of friends who faced very different kinds of abuse from other men#so when I say your anger is not constructive believe me because it is my anger too. and I know it hurts and I know it can drive you insane#but when your friend Sees that anger it will hurt her in a way you cannot understand. And if you are hurting her while you claim to love he#while you claim to have her best interests at heart -> then she cannot differentiate between the way you treat her#and the way her abuser does. And I know that's not fair I know it's not the same#And I know you probably care for her in a way her man does not. But when you tell her what to do she doesn't see You.#She sees the man who tells her what to do and how to live. She won't listen to you over that man because you sound the same#You sound eerily similar but he is manipulating her and you are just angry and upset. He will always seem to offer the better deal#so just don't be that angry friend anymore. Be an open door she can walk through whenever she needs a break from an evil man.#Be the life she Could have if she really believed she deserved it. Be good and respectful and supportive even when you feel like killing hi#show her how Everyone should treat her. Show her she deserves to be treated good; show her it is no problem for You to treat her good#And she Will start demanding that from men. From everyone. But she will do it on her own time#With her own setbacks and she will set her own standards. They might never be your standards but they will be better than what they are now#but first you have to be supportive and not angry. You have to root for what She wants and not for her relationship to fail#Even if you really truly hope the relationship will fail. You have to convince her that you want the same things she wants#You have to convince her that you want her to be happy no matter what that looks like. And Then she will ask you#To help make her life happier. And in my experience; that is the only way to truly see someone get to a better place#You have to help them get what they Want. This is way harder than being angry. Insanely harder. But I have seen women change a Lot#after I stopped feeling angry over them. After I stopped trying to convince them that I know what is best for them
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