the reason why dhmis tv feels 'less scary' to most people than the webseries is because the stoplight trio are now aware of the pattern and are more or less resigned to it (minus the occasinal breakdown) and the teachers are way less powerful than the OG teachers.

in the original series, the trio only begin to expect a teacher showing up by episode four (in fact, harry deliberately seeks one out - turning to gilbert when they need to know what the biggest thing in the world is, only to be hijacked by colin), and in that same episode, his self-awareness is rewarded by the narrative with forcible removal from the house.

the original series is a theatre of helplessness, control, and punishment. the trio remember everything that's happened to them but are unable to stop it, and get put through agonizing lessons by teachers that warp reality around them and antagonize them when they toe out of line. when they become self-aware, they're immediately punished by the show (harry getting kicked out into the real world, robin getting canned and cannibalized), and the surviving members have to keep going despite it.

in the new series, their memories are spotty but they're resigned to the teachers showing up. they expect them to the point where it's routine. AND their teachers aren't as untouchable as the old ones, and the trio can toe out of line. the briefcase leaves halfway through the lesson, the coffin gets absolutely blasted to pieces by a shovel, the family gets eaten by roy, warren gets the living shit roasted out of him before getting speared, the train dies midway through before his corpse gets used as a car, and the meter gets her batteries stolen. the trio still are helpless regarding their situation with the house and the loop, but they're nowhere near as under the mercy of the teachers as they used to be.

The Revenge

Cillian and y/n had been together for 5 years, only these last few months he'd become seriously complacent and distant. Time for a wake up call.

Warnings - smut. This was a request from @being-worthy , I hope you like it!!

7pm. 7:15pm. 7:30pm. You kept glancing at your watch, the waiter bringing you another glass of wine as you sat, positively seething at the table. The third date night in a row he'd missed, and this was made you especially mad. Your anniversary meal. 5 years to the day since he asked you to be with him, properly be with him, after 2 months of being fuck buddies on the set of Peaky Blinders. You'd bagged the job of being his umbrella girl, so spent most of your time with him, and one thing had led to another after he'd invited you in for a game of cards and a bottle of Jameson's. Strip poker became your new favourite game.

You downed the wine, paid the bill and called a taxi back to your shared apartment. Walking in, he was nowhere to be found. Locking the door, seeing his keys still on the table in the hallway, you turned your phone off and went to bed.

"Sleep on the fucking porch, dickhead."

Waking up the following morning and turning on you phone to 17 missed calls and 7 voicemails, she smiled. Deleting all of them, she slipped one of his shirts on, and made her way downstairs to hear the front door being pounded. Smiling, you opened it to see Cillian stood there with a look of pure rage.

"Morning baby, have a good evening?" You opened it allowing him to enter.

"Where the fuck were you?? I've just spent the night sleeping in the fucking car y/n, why was your phone turned off?" He barged his way in, pushing past you to get to the toilet, his bladder screaming from inside him.

"Sleeping. Battery must have died. Shouldn't have left your house keys, should you?"

"Fucks sake... I'm going to bed." He stalked upstairs, not looking at you and went to bed. Now, you were really angry.

When he came back down a couple of hours later, he was still mad at you. Wouldn't say two words to you as you sat in the living room watching TV, coffee in hand. Into the kitchen he sulked, slamming cupboard doors to make his frustration clear to you. You just smiled.

You were showered now, but still wearing his shirt, buttons done low, exposing your cleavage, with no underwater underneath. You were determined now, plan in action, he was going to suffer for this. Walking into the kitchen, you opened the fridge to get some orange juice, bending completely Dr the waist, exposing your bare backside under the shirt. You felt his eyes on you, watching you, and inwardly grinned, though he couldn't see as your hips swayed slightly as you bent further to grab the juice at the bottom of the fridge. Standing back up, you turned to face him, shirt hanging off your shoulder now exposing almost down to your bare nipple, you straightened your body to drink from the carton, then bent again to place it back in the fridge. His eyes didn't leave your body once as he sat at the breakfast bar with a slice of toast.

"You mad at me, y/n?"

"Hmm? Why would I be made at you, now Cillian?" You smiled sweetly, noticing a small drop of juice on your finger, you licked it as seductively as possible, winked and left the room. Now he was confused... And hard. You smiled, knowing exactly what effect you'd had on him and went upstairs to get ready.

"I'm meeting Orla for lunch, I'll be back by 4." You called from the stairs.

"Tell my sister I said hello, yeah?"

"Maybe." You went upstairs to get dressed, within 20minutes you were out the door.

The following morning, you woke to find Cillian in his office downstairs on his laptop. You'd avoided him most of the previous evening, making him sleep in the guest bedroom. Sure to keep him out of the bedroom you shared, you'd locked your door.

Perking your nipples slightly to harden them, you stood at his office door.

"Hey... Um..." He glanced at you at the door and had to swallow a gasp. You winked at him, before making your way back upstairs. You heard him growl slightly, close his laptop and follow you. Sadly for him, you made your way into the bathroom, and locked the door. Bath time.

Sinking your body under the water, you could hear Cillian moving around upstairs, just outside the bathroom door.

"Y/n will you tell me what it is I'm supposed to have done wrong?" He paused outside the door knocking lightly.

"Mmm.... God this bath feels nice... Warm water on my skin... Fuck I needed this..." You moaned as seductively as possible, keeping your voice just loud enough so he could hear you.

"Y/n open the door... I can make that bath even better..." His voice deepened. This was working like a dream.

"Mm.... Don't you have another appointment with your agent Cillian?" He knew he was in trouble. You never called him by his full name, it was 'Cill', 'babe', but only Cillian when he'd pissed you off. Which he'd clearly done, but had no clue as to how.

Over the course of the following fortnight, you'd kept Cillian at bay, he was still sleeping in the guest room, your bedroom door remained locked overnight (he'd tried, you'd heard him, it was fucking hysterical) while you continued to seduce and tease him mercilessly. Orla had called to say he'd even tried calling her to find out what he'd done, but good as gold, she told him she had no idea what he was talking about.

Cillian had had enough at this point. He'd even tried getting himself off at night but he couldn't do it - his hands just weren't as good as yours, it wasn't the same. He genuinely thought his balls were going to explode, the tension inside him was driving him insane. He called his sister Orla again when you went out to do the food shop, desperate this time.

"Orla I need your help please, I'm your brother... Please? Surely she's told you what it is I'm supposed to have done wrong? All I did was go out with Adam for one night and she's barely spoken to me and hasn't TOUCHED me since!"

"Woah now, that's waaaay to much info for your sister to be hearing now!" She laughed at the other end of the phone, rolling her eyes. Y/n had done very well to keep this up for two whole weeks.. maybe it was time for some sisterly advice for her older brother.

"Cillian when did you go out? What date?"

"Few days after my birthday, so the 30th May I think, why?"

"No, it wasn't the 30th. Think again. Check your dates." He put his phone on loudspeaker and checked his calendar. Then it dawned on him. Oh fuck... Oh shit... Shit shit shit!!

"The 27th.. oh fuck Orla it was the 27th.. and I'm looking at the fucking calender entry for our date night saved as a fucking DRAFT!! I didn't set it properly... Oh fuck Orla I'm a dead man, how's she not killed me?"

"I think in a way she has Cillian!! You've got some serious making up to do - not like the first time it's happened now is it?" He groaned... This would be the hat trick. Three date nights missed because he couldn't work the fucking calendar app on his new phone properly.. but that excuse wasn't going to wash now, he'd had plenty of opportunity to sort his sorry ass out. And to miss their anniversary dinner? No. He'd make this right. He thanked his sister, ended the call and opened a different app on his phone. Operation Clemency was in motion.

****************************************

You left your friends house on Friday afternoon to see Cillian's car parked outside. You could see bags on the back seat, him standing by the open passenger side door waiting for you.

"What are you doing Cillian?"

"Surprising my girlfriend. Listen y/n, I've been a fucking idiot okay? Missing our anniversary date, after missing two before that.. neglecting you, neglecting US... Let me make it up to you, yeah?" You couldn't help but smile, nodding your head you took his hand as he led you into the passenger seat, closing the door behind you.

All the way there you stole glances at one another, Cillian refusing to tell you exactly where you were going. You couldn't help the feeling of excitement - never in 5 years had he done anything like this, you'd have to make a habit of punishing him if this was the outcome..

Pulling up outside a large manor house an hour later, you gasped in shock.

"Shit.. Cill this is beautiful!"

"It's ours." You nearly had whiplash from the sudden head turn in his direction. "I bought it last month, I was waiting until your birthday next week to surprise you, but now seemed like a much better option. Welcome to our new holiday home baby." You couldn't help the tears forming in your eyes.

"Oh my god... But how? When? I don't understand!"

"All those appointments with my agent? Didn't you wonder why I wasn't getting any work from it all? I was at the bank sorting the mortgage for this place! Picked the keys up yesterday, it's fully furnished and ready for us. I figured we could spend the Summers here. Beach is less than a 5 minute walk away, the boys will love it." You were stunned. Well and truly stunned.

Leaving the car, you walked to the front door, Cillian handing you the keys. You opened it and walked inside into the most beautiful setting - it was newly decorated exactly to your liking. It was perfect. You turned to face him.

"You know, I might just forgive you after all..."

"Nope. Not yet. I'm not done." He smirked. "I want you to go upstairs - our room is second on the left. Lay down on the bed and I'll be up in 15 minutes." Raising an eyebrow, you complied, walking up the stairs eagerly anticipating what he had planned. "Fully clothed y/n... Don't remove a damn thing."

You walked in to find a large double bed with fresh sheets, covered in rose petals. Candles lined most of the hard surfaces in the room. It brought a lump to your throat. A fresh bouquet of flowers on the chest of drawers under the window, with a small envelope under them, your name written in Cillians hand writing. You opened it to find a two tickets to the new Enda Walsh play showing at the Gaiety later that week - it was sold out and you remembered telling him you were disappointed to miss it, but when you're Cillian Murphy, sold out meant nothing.

Hearing him coming up the stairs you quickly lay down on top of dozens of rose petals on the bed. He walked in slowly, casting an eye over your body. This would be the hardest thing to do now, trying to control himself, but he was determined to make this last as long as possible. Moving to the old record player in the corner of the room, he turned it on, allowing the gentle sounds of the music to fill the room softly. Making his way over to you, he kneeled on the bed, eyes never leaving yours.

"You're not to move unless I tell you to, okay? Just relax. Sit up." You sat up as he lifted your t shirt over your head, swiftly followed by your bra. Pushing you back down and turning you onto your front, he carefully sat himself across your legs, opening a small bottle of something you couldn't see. Suddenly his hands were on your back, smoothing the oil into your skin, putting pressure all over it. Closing your eyes, you relaxed into the massage as he skilfully eased away as many knots as he could find in your slender muscles.

"Fuck... Cill that feels amazing... Don't stop, please..." He bit his lip, he could feel his erection forming under his jeans and willed himself to have self control. Two weeks without touching you was a long time...

He moved his hands lower, teasing the waistband of your jeans as he moved his body down, pulling them over your hips, underwear following. Now you were completely bare, his hands now expertly rubbing hard circles over your thighs, your calves, then your feet. Your core was burning now, his touch, even after 5 years, doing things to your body you still couldn't believe we're possible. Your hips twitched slightly with the throbbing feeling you couldn't ignore deep in your groin. He could almost smell it, the need in you. Smiling, his hands moved back up your legs, dipping between your thighs and moving closer to where you desperately needed him. He grinned, and teased his fingers closer, then pulled them away. Back over your firm cheeks, up your spine slowly. You groaned, you were positively on fire now.

"Patience..." You bit your lip as he whispered in your ear. He turned you onto your back, now running his hands over your belly as he moved back to hover over your waist. Hands moving higher, he kneaded your breasts, knowing it would drive you crazy.

"Ahh... Fuck Cill... Baby please..." He chuckled, this was more fun than he anticipated, why had he never thought of this before?

Leaning down, he trailed a line of kisses long your exposed neck, your head flung back as he continued his assault on your breasts. Nipping the skin, sucking lightly, you arched against him. You felt close to an orgasm already and he hadn't even got to the good part yet. Your breath coming out in short bursts as his lips moved lower over your collarbone.

"Feel good baby? Feeling close huh? Keep those noises coming, fuck you're turning me on right now..." His voice was intoxicating, his hands roaming, now his lips, you couldn't stop the heat rising in your belly, that familiar knot forming, how was this even possible? You didn't care, and you couldn't stop it - you came hard, bucking your hips up to meet his as it overtook you.

"Fuck... Baby oh my god...." You came down from your high and looked into his eyes, now darker and desperate. He was trying so hard to control it but the control had gone. He hadn't expected you to cum from this alone, clearly he wasn't the only one who'd gone without these last 2 weeks.

"Take them off." He didn't argue. His clothes were removed quick as lightening as he opened your still quivering legs. He quickly pushed himself inside and stopped, just enjoying the feeling of your core swallowing him again.

"Jesus.. I swear you got tighter..." You raised your hands to his face and glared at him.

"Shut up, and fuck me Mr Murphy." With pleasure, he thought to himself, as he pounded into you hard and fast, both of you groaning into each others mouths as you kissed hungrily, desperate to get as physically close as possible. You rolled him onto his back, keeping him inside you, as you leaned back and rode him hard. You moved his hands to hold onto the bed frame behind him.

"You've touched me enough, it's my turn." Your hands roamed over your own breasts now, hips still rocking against his, your second orgasm fast approaching. You knew, after 2 weeks of abstinence, he wouldn't last long and you were right.

"Baby.. slow down.. I can't... Oh fuck... Ah... Feels too good..." He was raising his hips to meet yours, you felt your orgasm taking over.

"Cum baby... Need to feel you... Fill me up... Drown in me..." He couldn't hold back any longer and with a final, hard groan he came, filling you. His hands came to rest at your frozen hips, he felt your walls clench around him as you came alongside him, both of you breathing heavily as you came back down to earth from the most exquisite high either of you had ever had. Leaning your body back down to kiss his lips, you gave him one more squeeze of your walls, emitting a twitch and a gasp from him, before collapsing next to him.

"Fuck... My god Cill, I'm gonna have to punish you like this more often..."

"The fuck you are y/n, never again are we going more than 24 hours without sex, ever.. I don't care how mad you are at me.." you both laughed, curling up in each others arms, Cillian whispering how sorry he was in your ear, how much he loved you, as you gently fell asleep.

The following morning you woke to an empty bed, but you could smell coffee and breakfast being prepared downstairs. You made your way down wearing just his T shirt from the day before and found a full breakfast waiting for you. Sausages, eggs, bacon, toast, juice, croissants... All there on the countertop. A plate, cutlery and a coffee waiting for you.

"Just missing the pinny Mr Murphy..." You giggled as he turned and stuck his tongue out at you cheekily.

"Eat up and get dressed y/n, I'm taking you for a walk this morning." Smiling, you ate, and an hour later you were stood on the beautiful golden sands of the beach 5minutes from your new holiday home. Watching the waves crash, you were the happiest you'd felt in a long time. You heard Cillian behind you.

"Turn around, y/n." As you did, he took your hands in his and kissed your lips.

"If I have to spend every single day for the rest of my life saying how sorry I am, I will. If I have to spend every second making it up to you, I will. You have completed my life y/n.. after my divorce, I didn't think I'd ever be lucky enough to find love again. Then you came along and everything slotted into place. My boys adore you.. their Dad couldn't live without you.. y/n..." He sank down to the ground, reaching into his jeans pocket. Bringing a small, velvet box back up to you, your breath caught in your throat, tears already in your eyes.

"Make me the luckiest man in the world y/n.. marry me?" You fell to the floor alongside him, tears openly falling now as you cried, pulling him close, kissing him softly.

"Yes!! Oh my god a million times over, yes I'll marry you!!" You both grinned, standing now as he held out your left hand, slipping the simple, white gold band and diamond onto your finger. Nothing else mattering in that moment apart from the dreams you both shared of the amazing future you had ahead of you.

@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @being-worthy @margoo0 @cloudofdisney

the undateables get turned into cats

(a continuation of this post!)

~

Diavolo

Man… if you thought Beel was a big cat… 

Diavolo is a big cat.

Literally. Like, you’re pretty sure he’s a lion or something. He’s fucking HUGE. 

His paws are the size of your head, and when he flops down on you it literally knocks the breath out of your lungs. He probably broke one of your ribs, but you’re only 80% sure. 

If you’re walking side by side and he leans into you, there’s like a 70% chance that you’re gonna get knocked on your ass. For your sake, I hope you have decent balance.

He definitely only lets you, Lucifer, and Barbatos around him while he’s stuck in this form. 

He also really is not aware of his own strength in this form. 

Everyone realized that when you and Lucifer showed up to the palace and Dia went to love-tackle Lucifer, expecting the demon to catch him like he normally does, but instead ended up tackling his ass to the floor.

Diavolo was way too excited about it.

Lucifer was miffed.

(You got it all on video.)

Without his goofy smile or laugh, Dia’s eyes are like. Really fucking intense.

Lowkey… he’s a little bit terrifying.

But.... he’s also baby. 

Give him snuggles. Smush his face. Kiss his big dumb nose. Squish his big toe beans. Literally just throw yourself on top of him and snuggle him like a body pillow.

He LOVES IT.

Lucifer is horrified. Probably considers ending your life right then and there.

Barb thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

(It’s not that Dia necessarily Enjoys the experience of being turned into a cat -- he’s just Very sure that Lucifer is going to literally devote his life to fixing this, so he figures he might as well try to have a good time while it lasts.)

Barbatos

...He’s very chill but is also experiencing the BIGGEST existential crisis because he doesn’t fucking have hands to do anything. 

Listen, he’s not opposed to taking breaks. He enjoys relaxing too. But there’s so much shit that needs to be done and he can’t do any of it and it’s driving him up the wall.

Not that you would ever know, though. He’s very calm, even if he’s screeching on the inside.

So it’s basically canon that Barbatos helps Diavolo manage his time and keeps him from slacking off on his princely duties he’s literally a babysitter 

But like.

Come on. 

Diavolo is not gonna listen to a cat.

Diavolo gets up to so much mischief during the time that Barb is a cat, and since the prince is so busy being The Worst™, cat-Barb ends up spending most of his time with you.

Lowkey it’s weird as shit having a cat supervise you.

He’s sitting deathly still on the counter, spine ramrod straight, tail wrapped around his legs, eyes wide and all-seeing -- just Staring at you while you cook. 

You’re pretty sure he’s judging you. 

He’s actually reliving the trauma of Asmo finding him in all of his feline-glory and abducting him to play dress up.

(Cat-Barb is the least likely to bite or hiss at anyone, and he probably won’t throw a tantrum over being turned into a cat. Definitely wouldn’t mind sitting in your lap for some snuggles.)

(Is Very relieved when he’s finally turned back into a demon, though. Never wants to experience that again and is Not opposed to punishing whoever cursed him.)

(With Diavolo’s permission.)

Simeon

Don’t tell Asmo, because he’ll probably cry kick your ass, but Simeon is the prettiest as a cat. 

He doesn’t Totally mind being turned into one, either. If anything, this will make for interesting writing-experience. 

He’s way too nice as a cat. You don’t see his claws at all, ever. If he gets stuck in an unfavorable situation (cough cough, Satan trying to mother him) he’s more likely to run off than he is to put up a fight

He’s very graceful and quiet. 

Purrs when you pick him up, because he once heard that cat purrs are healing to humans. He doesn’t know if that’s actually true or not, but he does it anyways. 

He feels the safest with you, and definitely doesn’t mind when you scratch him behind the ears or hug him like a stuffed animal.

He won't just flop into your lap like some of the others -- most likely he’ll just kinda like. Weirdly lean against you. It’s cute though!

Honestly he’s gonna be content to just sit with you while you do your own thing. Maybe watch a movie or listen to some music with him, and he’ll be a-okay with it.

But.

If you give him catnip. 

he will literally just lay on his back on his floor for HOURS and knock the fuck out.

(Why do you even have catnip? I dunno, you tell me)

You assume that he’s dreaming about the celestial realm. Or TSL. or like. The secrets of the universe.

You can literally move his body however you want -- stretch his leggies, open his mouth, flip him over, pick him up --literally Anything-- and he just Will Not wake up.

Lowkey you think you might have killed him

When he Does finally return to the land of the living, he’s just gonna wanna snuggle u. 

But also turn him back into an angel Now, this has been a (mostly) relaxing experience but he’s ready to go back to normal now, thank u sdfghj

Luke

(Well at least he’s a cat and not a dog)

He is,,, the littlest baby kitten ever. Save him, dear god, before any of the brothers find him

Seriously, he’s so small

You can hold him in just one hand :(( he’s just a little boy :((

Don’t put him in your pockets or anything tho, he’ll be Very upset if you do. He just wants to sit on your shoulder and scream at the world with unbridled fury.

He’s a bumper car kitten. His lil tail sticks straight up and he has a lil round tumby :((

...

You know how all kittens are basically born feral?

Apparently, ferality also applies to those who are turned into kittens.

Basically, he still has the attitude of a chihuahua. 

Hissing, spitting, swatting--his instincts to just smack the shit out of everything and anything are Always operating at 100%. he’s a little firecracker. 

Does that thing where cats will hold something and kick the shit out of it with their back paws.

He’s very feisty. 

It isn’t a big deal, at least until Mammon makes fun of him and kitten-Luke LAUNCHES off your shoulder at him, like a little furball-missile of claws and teeth.

(Mammon just kinda catches him by the scruff and hands him back to you--but he does leave him alone after that lol)

His ears are basically always flat on his head, because he’s constantly Very upset with this whole situation and doesn’t want ANYBODY coming near him that isn’t you, Simeon, or maybe Solomon. He prefers you and Simeon, though.

He Might let Beel near him. Maybe. 

(If he promises not to eat him.)

kitten-Luke is the most likely to knead blankets and pillows (and also probably your leg). He has no fucking clue why he’s doing it, but he can’t stop.

I hope you’re prepared for joint parental custody with Simeon, because that’s what’s going to happen sdfghjklkg

Solomon

He’s very calm. It’s kind of unsettling. 

Will just sit on tables, watching everyone and everything in the room while his fluffy tail occasionally flicks around.

You can practically see the gears churning away in his mind while he observes. 

Will occasionally lift a single paw in the air, like he’s going to move or wants to say something, but then he will just sloooowly lower it again. Then just keeps staring.

He is the most likely to just wander off on his own. He just randomly vanishes, which is a Wee bit worrying, cause, y’know. He’s still shady.

You really don’t see much of him during his time as a cat. You have no idea where he’s going or what he’s up to, but he does occasionally bring you presents from his travels.

Even as a cat, he has the good sense to not bring you dead things. But you are a little concerned when he brings you a spell jar with glowing blue liquid in it. 

Like, what the fuck? Did he make it himself with his little cat paws?

Even after turning back into a human, he refuses to tell you how he got it. 

You keep it anyways.

Probably figures out how to talk with his normal voice, and scares the absolute shit out of you the first time he says something.

After he’s had his fun, he figures out himself how to turn back into a human and has you assist him with the process.

(Partially because he wants to study you, partially just because he likes you.)

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.  

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu. 

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does. 

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface.  The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites. 

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma. 

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked.  Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it. 

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it. 

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there. 

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother.  This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified) 

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman. 

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights.  He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines. 

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part. 

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats. 

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about.  He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him. 

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages. 

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch.  Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s.  This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.  

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured  You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets.  All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge. 

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man. 

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello  

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost. 

Out of the ashes, part 28

For whumptober day 28, “Good, you’re finally awake”

~~~

From what Steve could piece together from Hargrove’s short explanation, he’d apparently tried to run once. Gotten as far as the woods, even (which was impressive in itself), before they’d gotten too close to him and he’d climbed a tree to try to get away. But he’d fallen, hurt his leg – twisted it or broken it, Steve wasn’t clear on – and they’d caught him. Brought him back to the facility and apparently thrown him into a pitch black room without food and not much water for several days as a punishment.

When Hargrove had come that far in his explanations, he’d glanced at the TV again. Even if it had been off and only showed black glass screen, he got all pale and started hyper-ventilating.

“It was so dark,” he’d whispered, so low that Steve almost couldn’t hear it. “I don’t wanna go back. Please, I don’t …”

“You’re never going back there,” Joyce said, decisively.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, honey.”

“I’m sorry.”

Steve wanted to hurt someone.

Joyce still hadn’t dared to touch more than Hargrove’s hand, and as Hargrove’s breathing got even more erratic as he spiraled in his memories, Steve had itched to do something. Luckily Joyce caught his eye and nodded at the kitchen.

“I think we could all do with a … cup of tea.” She raised her eyebrows pointedly, and Steve gratefully accepted the out.

“I’ll do it!” he’d said.

Boiling water had been easy; he found a pot right away and he knew how to operate a stove. Locating tea hadn’t been as easy, but Robin had joined him in the kitchen a minute or so later and silently helped him find the tea bags – a couple of out-of-date bags in a box behind a bag of corn flour, which told Steve how often they were used.

When they’d finally managed to find everything they needed, including four matching mugs, and prepared to take everything back into the living room, Joyce met them in the doorway. To their questioning looks, she’d simply said, “He’s asleep. I think it took a lot out of him. He passed out on me.”

She’d looked so tired then, that Steve had offered to sit with him for a while, ‘just to keep an eye on him’, before he could think.

Which is why he was sitting here now, in Joyce’s living room, once again watching Hargrove sleep. He was starting to feel like a creep, honestly. But it was so much easier to deal with a traumatized Billy Hargrove when he wasn’t awake and acting … well, traumatized.

Steve felt bad as soon as the thought entered his mind, and silently vowed to stay, the next time Hargrove woke up. It was the least he could do after … After not even thinking about looking for the guy after the events of last summer, even though the people they were dealing with had a history of faking people’s deaths.

To distract himself from those thoughts, he sipped from his cup of now lukewarm tea and grimaced. Tea wasn’t really his thing, but it was something to do, at least, while he sat here and … tried to look at anything but a sleeping Hargrove.

Robin, meanwhile, had spread out the files and tapes on the kitchen table, and was busy going through their contents. Dustin had also called, and while Steve had exchanged a couple of words with him, he’d been too worked up about what he’d found in his own files, so Steve had silently handed over the phone to Robin so the two of them could compare notes, before he went back to the living room and resumed his silent watch.

Now, Joyce was on the phone with Owens, and judging by her voice she was trying really hard not to chew the man out for something or other. It did sound as if he was on their side, though, and that he could help. Things were in motion … and Steve was just sitting here, watching from the sidelines.

Around lunchtime, Hargrove finally stirred. He didn’t wake in a panic this time, even though he stiffened before his eyes opened and darted around the room as he tried to orient himself. Steve remembered his earlier promise to stay, and made an effort to make himself look calming and friendly. He even managed a small smile.

“Oh good, you’re finally awake,” he said. “Just in time for lunch, too.”

~~~

(First) (Previous) (On AO3) (Next)

Wangxian Fic Recs - Modern Setting AU

Plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) | Words: 47,638 | E

After thirteen years away, Dr. Wei Wuxian is back in Gusu. A car accident near his apartment brings someone unexpected back into his life and everything changes for the better.

and so my heart beats wildly | Words: 106,435 | E

“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.” 

“Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.” 

Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

Unstrictly Ballroom | Words: 47522  | T

Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian brought scandal and shame down upon his head and was thrown out of the competitive ballroom dance circuit. He vanished, never to be heard from again.

Lan Wangji aches when he remembers the way Wei Ying danced--like a laugh given movement and form. He has never stopped searching for him.

Let You Love Me (Always) | Words: 14853 | E

“I can't even imagine what kind of person Lan Wangji fell in love with,” Wei Wuxian admitted.

He felt his stomach being tied in knots, and it almost felt painful and definitely unpleasant, just trying to imagine the person that probably had Lan Wangji on his knees.

Or the story where Wei Wuxian was a bully and Lan Wangji was patiently waiting.

Some of You | Words: 60,640 | M

It can’t be that bad, he thinks. There’s no way he would have done that. But the doubt still lingers, turning into full-blown anxiety as he scrolls down his twitter feed, finally arriving on his latest tweet.

Lan WangJi ✔ @lan_wangji

Some of you have never fallen in love with a boy only for him to go missing after his parents die and pine away for three years waiting for him to come back, then continue to pine when he’s back after you realize you’re too scared to confess, and it shows.

23,043 retweets | 73,328 likes

Lan Zhan’s face pales and he buries his head in his hands, letting his phone drop on the table.

This is bad.

This is very, very bad.

-

Or, Lan Wangji gets drunk and tweets a love confession, Wei Wuxian panics, and all of twitter decides to matchmake Lan Wangji and his mystery guy.

Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart | Words: 27,675 | T

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. 

“Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. 

or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.

nginal Equivalents | Words: 23,444 | E

He always gets the feeling there is something there, beyond the occasional jabs and the mostly one-sided banter and the way Lan Wangji has tolerated his rambles and teasing all these years and how he has caught him looking at him sometimes with his eyes softer than he has ever seen them. 

But whatever that is makes his heart clench painfully and beat a million miles an hour, and that can’t be good for you, can it? As a self-respecting neurosurgery resident he can’t ignore the symptoms of an imminent heart attack, can he? 

Or: How Wei Wuxian learnt to stop worrying and love his co-resident.

the moon lives in the lining of your skin | Words: 9,143 | M

“Let go,” Lan Wangji says.

“Huh?” Wei Wuxian tightens his hold on Lan Wangji. “Why?”

“If you don’t let go,” Lan Wangji tells him, reaching up to cover one of Wei Wuxian’s hands with his own, squeezing lightly, “then I can’t get up.”

“And what will you do once you get up?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Will er-gege punish me for being shameless?”

(Or, oh my god, they were roommates.)

boyfriend material | Words: 41,689 | M

Lan Xichen would do anything if it meant his brother was happy, which is what lead him to eavesdropping on the Jiang brothers as they discussed their requirements for a partner. 

Or; Lan Wangji attempts to woo an already infatuated Wei Ying using bad pickup lines, and a few more things.

Love wakes me | Words: 42,812 | E

It starts with a bet. All mistakes, Wei Wuxian thinks, start with a bet. 

It’s starts with a bet and ends with Wei Wuxian losing everything. 

Nine years ago, Wei Wuxian made a bet with disastrous consequences. Now, he is part-owner of the popular and eclectic Yiling Cafe, years and miles away from his old life, making the best of things and trying to leave the past where it belongs. When Lan Wangji walks into his cafe by accident, Wei Wuxian finds himself doing what he thought he'd never do again; reclaiming some small part of his past, and hoping for a future he'd given up as lost.

These Things Stay the Same | Words: 29,937 | E

After a career covering news across the world, journalist Wei Wuxian is unexpectedly on his way home with a child in tow. Unfortunately, the path home isn't without obstacles.

your heartbeat, across the grass | Words: 44,278 | E

To his unbridled horror, Wei Wuxian sees his face up on the giant screen in real time for the entire stadium to see. Still laughing as his face takes a moment to catch up with the sheer mortification he’s feeling, A-Yuan perched on his shoulders as the Lan Wangji cape drapes over them. 

There’s also commentary. 

“—scenes from the stands here, this dad and his son making for an adorable twosome all decked out in support for local hero Lan Wangji—” 

“—Speaking of, our man seems to have taken a little tumble—” 

Wei Wuxian finds Lan Wangji on the field. The ball is nowhere near him but he seems to have fallen inexplicably backwards, sitting on the grass as he looks up at the giant screen. 

Right up at the footage of him. 

(AU where A-Yuan is professional footballer Lan Wangji's biggest fan, and his babysitter Wei Wuxian wants nothing more than to forget his days as the photographer of their school football team, calling out to the captain from the stands just so he'd look around at him.)

with you, I am home | Words: 47,049 | M

“I can’t go back home alone, Lan Zhan.”

Wei Wuxian gets a summons to return to Lotus Pier for marriage proposals. To avoid this, he convinces Lan Zhan to come with him and pretend to be his cultivation partner.

it's the little things, you see? | Words: 30024 | T

Hot Stuff’s lips part and his voice— God, his voice —flows past his lips like honey dripping from its jar.

“Are you—”

“Will you marry me?”

Nailed it.

Where single parent Wei Ying greets his son’s preschool teacher— on the first day they meet —with a marriage proposal.

Wei Ying spends the changing seasons wooing said preschool teacher in full-force, no holds barred.

Lan Zhan’s life does a full 360 degree turn when two balls of unrestrained energy land themselves in front of his classroom.

And as the seasons change, so do they.

The Simplest Way Forward | Words: 71,008 | E

It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him. 

“Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?” 

“It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.

Pretty Things | Words: 25,520 | T

The thing was...Wei WuXian was right. It did suit him. Jiang Cheng took in everything—from the lively red of his nails, to the way he had braided and wrapped his hair in twin buns, leaving his bangs to curl becomingly over his cheeks, to the red silk of his calf-length silk cheongsam with black chrysanthemums blooming over his right shoulder and down the split on the left side of the skirt, to his shapely, shaved legs. And what tied it all together was the way he carried himself. Wei WuXian smiled impishly, pleased to know he was right, that he looked good, and that others would agree. Doubtless, he would be out drinking until the early hours as patrons vied to buy him drinks after the end of his shift.

Operation Old Men | Words: 37645 | NR

An ill-fated parent teacher conference reunites Jin Ling's wayward uncle with Sizhui's father. AKA: A matchmaking disaster as told by Jin Ling, Sizhui, and Jingyi.

Jin Ling knows he’s in deep trouble even before reporting to Headmaster Lan’s office, but the words “your uncle will be here soon” still strike the fear of God in him. His only consolation is that Jingyi and Sizhui’s guardians are also in the office, Jingyi’s mom already lecturing her sheepish-looking son. Lan-ayi only stops when Sizhui’s father, a quiet and tall man in white, clears his throat, causing her to engage him in one-sided smalltalk.

This is a disaster. Jin Ling had spent such a nice break at home for Mid-Autumn Festival, and Fairy’s presence had soothed his homesickness after returning to boarding school in Gusu. He knows pets aren’t allowed, but who is going to report Jin Ling when his father pays good money for a private suite in the dorms? Then there was the incident with Jingyi, a box of mooncakes, and a door left ajar. Long story short, he spent an hour chasing Fairy down the halls with Sizhui and Jingyi before finding his dog nosing up to a very angry Headmaster Lan.

Story Three - Learning

A roar resounds through the training grounds, before a loud scream and 'thud' follows after along with the sound of a body rolling. A choir of 'OOH...' can be heard afterwards as a crowd stares down at the body of, none other than, Azhi'li. 

"Come on, primo! I taught ya better than that!" Tani taunts with a chuff, their tail whipping to and fro behind them. "Let's go, up an' at 'em!" 

Approaching Azhi'li, she reached down and lifted him on his two feet by pulling him up under his arms, staring at him with a quirked brow and pursed lips.

The red Seeker seemed a bit out of it, his head lolling back a bit, yet he was fine. Tani huffed once again and rattled her cousin like a maraca. "Oye! Despiertate! Wake up!"

Azhi'li groaned and whined, pawing at their arms and kicking a bit so she could put him down. Once he did, the younger Seeker plopped back onto his rump with a grunt, panting lightly. "G-gimme a bit, Tani--," he stammered through his ragged breath, before the older one sighed and simply sat in front of him, cross-legged. "Alright, take yer time. Need yer inhaler?"

"Nah, I'm-- I'm alright. Jus' need a moment. Gods, bein' smacked 'round by an axe hurts."

A loud bark of laughter came from Tani, causing him to grin toothily from ear to ear. "You're tellin' me? C'mon, what's goin' on? Tell me so we can work on it, primo."

Peering up at Tani through his lashes, he sighed and lifted his head a bit while his shoulders slumped. "I jus' dunno how ta deal with someone wieldin' an axe. Hells, I don't even know how ta wield one, m'self!" he exclaims, gesturing over towards the wooden axe he had long dropped before he was tossed.

"An' that's alright! Y'jus' gotta tell me, see? All ain't lost, nothin' is hopeless, it's just a matter of takin' the time ta learn, okay?" she assured, patting his knee with a hefty paw. "What do ya know, hm? Have ya fought against other folks?"

"Well, aye, a'course I have. Many times. In fact, Toadie's th'one who trained me ever since I knew him, practically."

"Okay, an' what did ya learn from him?"

"A lot."

"So then let's go through everythin' he taught ya all over again. From th'start, up until now. An' what better way ta do that than trainin', hm? Don't beat yerself up, man. Shit like this takes a certain kinda person, 'nd ya got it, y'jus' need more patience with yerself, b'cause y'get frustrated real easy, real quick. Y'know that, don't ya?"

"... Aye."

Huffing, Tani gives him a firm poke to his forehead. "Don't be like that to yerself. When y'have no one else around ya, ye're gonna be all ya got left. You're kind t'everyone else but yourself, and I'm sure ya've been told this many times before, hm?"

"Aye."

Smiling warmly, Tani stood right back up with a heavy plap to her knees, extending out a hand towards Azhi'li. "Up, Zizi. You're alright. You have so much time ahead a'yerself, so do not punish yerself for not gettin' things right away. Y'don't punish th'kids when they don't get it right away, so don't do that to yerself. Ye're no different, an' ya deserve no less patience from others," he states, firmly, yet not unkindly.

Azhi'li takes in a deep breath and nods, smiling lightly before grunting when his back is given a hearty SMACK from Tani's paw. 

"Now! Cuffs are off, weapons set aside! S'jus' you an' me, primo! Let's get down to th'basics!" they state, stepping away from Azhi'li before putting their axe down and stancing themself with their fists held up to their chest.

---------------------------

CW: talk/discovery of sexuality and gender. possible dysphoria triggers.

For five suns every sennight, Tani and Azhi'li trained together. Sometimes uncle Sena or Maryn would join in and show their nephew of what they knew with a blade and shield or magic. Every day there was something new for Azhi'li to learn, new lessons to keep close to his heart. He never thought he'd ever be able to do any of these things back then, but now he has gotten so used to it that it's almost as comfortable as his fists. Of course, nothing could ever feel as comfortable as that, but he can at least safely say he can wield an axe and blade now, as well as do some magic.

Yet, all of this physical training wasn't the only thing he learned about.

One evening at the circle, everyone was enjoying dinner and sharing stories, laughing and joking amongst themselves. Azhi'li and Tani were sitting together, snickering and sharing food and drinks with each other, the Seeker having gotten a better hang of alcohol thanks to Tani. He learned from the best!

And still, there is even more left to learn. Leaning back on a paw, Azhi'li rested his other arm upon his knee as he swirled the mead in his flagon idly, staring out towards the fire in front of them. 

"So, Tani... If y'don't mind me askin', uh... can I talk ta ya 'bout identity stuff?"

"... Identity stuff?" he inquired with a quirked brow, looking towards Azhi'li with a side-eye while popping a jocote into his mouth.

"Like... gender 'nd sexuality?"

"Oh. Yeah, what's up?" She grins towards him, her round ears perked and pivoted towards him as she suddenly became interested. Azhi'li huffed with a roll of his eyes before rubbing at the nape of his neck, leaning forward a bit. 

"So, like-- I've never really explored anythin' regardin' gender 'nd sexuality stuff all too much, I jus' know th'type a'folks I'm attracted ta."

"Which is?"

"More... masculine? types a'folks?"

"Hm, alright. Go on."

"Gods, why do I feel like I'm bein' judged super hard right now?"

"I ain't judgin' ya, primo, I'm just tryna figure out where ya stand on all of this. Haven't really spoken to cityfolk for this long, so I'm jus' pickin' at yer head, y'can say."

"... Okay, well, I know that there are lots a'identities 'nd ways people can feel comfortable callin' themselves, but I jus'... I dunno, never really had th'chance ta explore that fer m'self."

At this, Tani grows even more interested, quirking a brow and dropping the pit of the jocote into a bowl. "So, are ya sayin' ya wanna explore?"

"-- Aye. I do."

Grinning, Tani nods and moves to stand up, taking the bowl of jocote seeds with her to place on a table for them to either be discarded or planted.

Wrapping an arm around Azhi'li's shoulders, she jostles him a bit before gesturing for him to follow. "Come, primito, for I shall enlighten ya."

They make their way to Tani's home, where they're then met with squealing from children as they swing the door open and cry out, "Papa!" before flinging themselves at Tani. They catch their kids within their strong arms, laughing in delight and placing kisses upon the three young miqo'te's heads. "Buenas, bebecitos. Did ya have a good day?" he asks, the children chiming out, 'si!'

"Hello, tio Zizi!" they then say, and Azhi'li grins down at them and chuckles, ruffling their little heads and big ears. "Buenas."

Smiling, Tani nudges Azhi'li gently before gesturing for him to follow again into her room. Making it to a chair, she plops herself on it with a grunt while relaxing back into it, gesturing for her cousin to join her. He does just so, sitting across from her on another chair while the children clamber up on their parent, and one on Azhi'li. 

"So, Azhi'li," he begins, his tone gentle, before canting his head to the side as he holds onto a child in each arm, "What do you know 'bout yerself?"

"-- Well, what do y'mean?"

"What makes ya comfortable, an' what doesn't? Th'way you an' I operate are completely different. I don't feel th'same way you do, nor do you feel th'same way I do. So I wanna know 'bout ya-- but first, I think you should know 'bout ya. Y'said y'know 'bout 'identities' 'nd stuff, pero... what is it that y'know?"

"Um... I know that-- not everyone identifies th'way they're perceived? Like... someone who is normally seen as a 'woman' may not be comfortable bein' identified as such."

"Mm, alright. It's a start."

"Huh?"

With a laugh, Tani shook their head and grinned toothily. "Not everythin' is all that meets the eye, primito. I understand that...cityfolks, t'use a lighter term, tend t'have this notion that a lot a'stuff is black an' white, when it really ain't."

"I don’t understand..."

"A lot a'cityfolks believe that if ya look a certain way, ya gotta be a certain way. Gotta be addressed a certain way, behave a certain way... We don't work like that here. Some folks are comfortable fitting within that binary, an' that's alright. Most a'us here don't do that," she explained, gesturing to herself afterwards. "Y'heard th'way people talk ta me here. El, ella, elle. Him, her, them. I don't give a rat's ass 'bout gender or sex. I jus' live th'life I want for m'self. Here, we call that volado. Flown. Think th'people outside of the Sankres call it non-binary or somethin' akin ta that. We don't exist within th'binary, 'nd that's th'way we wanna keep it, y'know? We ain't 'man' or 'woman', we're jus' our own person. That don't mean that volados is its own binary either, b'cause that ain't th'damn point of it, y'know? We ain't a 'third gender'."

"... Okay. I think-- I understand a bit more. Is there-- a way to know who's part a'that--... uh. Category..?"

"First of all, don't say that," he chastises with a huff, shaking his head. "Secondly, no. There ain't. It's never really a topic a'discussion ta be brought up, b'cause why would it be? S'jus' normal fer those folks, they know what they're doin', 'nd if they wanna tell ya or bring it up, then they will."

"Sorry. So-- how do I know if--... I'm someone like that?"

Tani shrugged, smiling lightly. "S'different from person ta person, primito. There ain't one decided way someone needs t'feel in order to consider themselves such. That's fer you to decide, no one else."

"... Well, I don't think I'm that-- I mean, I probably would'a known by now, right?"

"Hells no, y'wouldn't have. Zizi, there is somethin' y'keep missin', 'nd it's that everyone goes at their own pace. That includes you, too," she informs, firmly, giving him a pointed look. "Some folks know when they're a kid," they begin, patting one of their children's backs, "'nd other folks don't find out 'till they're old 'nd grey. In the end, they still find out 'nd are able to do whatever they want with that new knowledge. Everyone operates differently. It's never too late t'learn more 'bout yerself."

Azhi'li then grows silent, staring down at the floor between them while still holding onto his sobrine. They look towards Azhi'li curiously, smiling and papping at his cheek, causing him to blink and look over to them.

"It's okay, tio. You just do what makes you happy. That's what everyone says."

With a smile, Tani nods, looking back towards Azhi'li again. "At one point, y'jus' gotta think for yerself, primo. 'nd if ya discover that ye're happy with th'way y'call yerself 'nd identify yerself with, then that's all that matters, y'know? Be happy with yerself, jus' how others are happy that you're who ya are, too."

Locking eyes with Tani, Azhi'li grows silent once again before smiling a bit, nodding. "... I think I wanna at least learn more 'nd explore. Can I do that?"

"Always. There is never new knowledge fer those who don't seek it."

-------------------------

With Azeyma finally at rest and Menphina shining over Her Sister's watch, Azhi'li makes it back home-- Sena's home, where his uncle lovingly offered him a room to stay in. 

Parting the tapestry, he steps in and blinks at the sight of his uncle whittling before he spots his nephew, smiling warmly with a wiggle of his ears. "Welcome home, Dhezi. Did you have a good day?"

"I did, thanks tio. -- Hey, can-- can ya do me a favor?"

"Anything, sobrino. What's wrong?"

"Nothin', jus'-- can y'cut m'hair?"

Record scratch.

Sena blinked owlishly, glancing up at Azhi'li with widened eyes. Almost as though he was in disbelief. Well, no, not almost-- he was. "... Ah? I assumed you did not want to cut your hair since I thought it was something special for you?"

"It is. It always has been. I never cut it 'nd refused t'let people cut it b'cause... I kinda used it as a way t'hold onta y'all; t'hold onta m'brother, Zisi. But, now that I'm here with y'all, 'nd now that I am ready t'move on... I'm ready t'start lettin' go of th'past, too."

The older Seeker stared at his nephew in awe before smiling lightly, standing up slowly as he nodded. "Then it would be an honor. Come, sit down. Forgive your tio, though, because I may not do the best work..." he warns with a nervous chuckle. 

"Hey, it's fine, s'long as it grows back!"

"Oh, I'm sure it will with how long you've had it without maintaining it regularly," he quips with a chuff, causing Azhi'li to laugh.

After bathing, Azhi'li sat in a chair with his towel-dried hair over his shoulders. Sena rounded behind him with a pair of scissors and a comb before asking, "Now... Are you sure you wish to do this, sobrino?"

"Si, tio. I'm ready."

"Bueno."

Snip.

So... I rewatched otgw and started looking at fanart and was reminded of bipper... and I've spent the last day and a half looking at #billdip help.

Also, I have an idea for the billdip mafia au, so course

(Mostly a human au)

(Edit: ok so, I had no idea what was happening until I typed it all. I was gonna mostly put the idea and hope a more experienced writer could take on the challenge bc I don't feel my mafia expertise is good but... well... I ended up typing some story bits so sorry if the third person/ first person switches are random and difficult to follow along with)

.

.

.

Bill is a criminal kingpin and afraid of nothing and no one, he is married to Dipper but since Dipper is almost a hazard for his line of work, he keeps his marriage secret. You cannot find a record of their marriage since Bill has the judge on payroll, Dipper (now older) uses his real name, Mason Pines-Cipher instead of the old childhood nickname. So, if anyone hears Bill say "'Pinetree' or on rare occasions 'Dipper'" they just figure he means another random thug. Mason, is completely oblivious to the nature of his husband's true work (because he wouldn't approve) and lives a very normal life as a doctor. He has seen Bill's office which is the front for his true dealings. The office is a nice space at the top of a skyscraper in Seattle. The business front is actually a realtor firm, where he takes advantage of the information and uses dilapidated/condemned/empty houses and buildings for his private matters. But because of Mason's odd work/call hours he often has long shifts and stays tired so he hardly notices the shady things that happen around their home, or the coming and goings of strangers at the wee hours of the morning.

Bill is also a very loving husband who brings his favorite doctor lunches and sits with him during his breaks so that with their crazy schedules they know and still make time for each other.

The only people who know about Mason is a very small circle, it consist of 2 people actually. Bill's chauffeur and another doctor that Bill pays extra to watch out for Mason at work. And because Bill separates the two lives so carefully no one can figure out his weaknesses and use it against him.

Until... dun dun dun!

Bill is kidnapped by a rival!

Mason sitting at the hospital cafe he waits for his husband to bring him their lunches but when he doesn't show Mason becomes irritable, mostly because he is hungry and never carries his wallet out of routine, but also because Bill will not answer his phone and he is stressing out about it, to the point he calls the realtor office and checks the ER. After his shift at the office he quickly drives home and searches the house and goes to the police to file a missing person's report (he forgets to eat and gets highly cranky with the officers.)

After leaving the police station, a black unmarked car follows him home. He is taken in the middle of the night while asleep, he wakes to find some smelly thug in his face and that he is strapped to a chair. (Still wearing his scrubs because in all his stress and overworked body he passed out before changing or cleaning up.) The thug smacks a crowbar against his palm. Threatening to Mason before telling him that he better answer their questions or he'd get the 'crow'. To which the thug steps back and Mason can now see the man standing behind him, the rival mafia boss. "So, who are you?"

"M-mason.." he says, his heartbeat becoming erratic and his breathing quickening with panic.

"Last name?"

"Pines...-Cipher" he hesitates before adding the hyphenated portion. He wasn't sure why, but he was very scared to death.

"So, how do you know One-Eyed Bill?" The rival asks because no one knows Bill's real name.

Mason's face contorted in a confused manor having never heard the name before. And as he hesitates too long the thug brings down the crowbar, smashing Mason's knee.

As Mason screams and cries the boss asks again. "How do you know him?"

"A-are you talking about my husband?" Mason exclaims, chest heaving. The image of his loving husband, an eyepatch hiding the injured eye from long ago, the injury that caused them to first meet... Bill had been quite the charmer. Even after his eye was removed, he denied prosthetics in favor of his new aesthetic. He would visit the hospital and wait in the cafeteria until the handsome doctor showed up. Everyday he waited, until eventually he learned Mason's typical schedule/routine, then he would show up only for lunch and sit with the doctor. Until eventually Mason gave in to his former patient and accepted his request for a date.

The boss and thug give each other a side glance. The boss smiles, making Mason even more scared as he moves closer, getting very close to Mason's face. "You mean to tell me that the notorious One-Eyed Bill, is married to a very cute doctor and his real name actually is Bill?" The boss pinches Mason's cheek and spins the chair around. Behind him the whole time was Bill, his shirt was ripped to shreds, cuts, bruises, and bloodstains littered his body as he wore a masked expression upon seeing his husband now in the same situation as himself. The very thing he worked hard to prevent, being undone... by Mason searching for him.

Mason lurches forward despite being tied to a chair, he wants so badly to help his husband, to bandage him up and nurse his wounds. "Please, I'm no threat to you! Let me help him." The rival boss thinks for a moment, smirking as he has the thug retrieve Mason's medical bag. (Stupidly, they grabbed it with Mason thinking it was Bill's briefcase) The thug dropped the case in Mason's lap and untied him. "Alright, but you have to get to him yourself." The rival said, leaning against Bill's chair and watching as the doctor with a smashed knee crawled with the heavy bag over to Bill. Tears rolling down his eyes in pain. Bill gives him an "I'm sorry" look, his own mouth tied shut with a handkerchief. Opening his bag Mason searched for something to sterilize the open cuts and bandages to cover each one. He pulls himself up into Bill's lap and sets to work. The rival boss unties the gag and questions Bill instead, this time when Bill doesn't answer or tries to lie Mason takes the punishment. Him being yanked by his hair and thrown to the ground, dropping all the bandaging and sterilization wipes.

"Gag him and hold him." The rival instructs, the thug does as he says, gagging Mason and picking up the young doctor rather haphazardly, his large tattooed hand around Mason's throat. Slowly tightening until Bill gives up locations for his operation. He looks over to Mason who has tears in his eyes, letting his gaze drop Bill can read the disappointment all over his husband. By the time, the rival has Bill's locations checked out, Bill knows he has now lost fortunes in investments but that won't stop him from destroying this guy. Because as they agree to finally let them go, hurt, broken, and Bill disgraced. Bill can feel the old powers course through his veins. Its not until they physically knock Mason out that Bill can retaliate. His eyes begin to glow yellow, his pupil turning into a slit as blue flames flicker to life, burning the bonds around him. His body healing itself. He stands up. The rival and thug's eyes widen in horror. Bill snaps his fingers and the both of them burn alive in the blue fires. He was in fact a demon but no one knew, he even had been playing games with these humans for so long he had forgotten what it was like to be beat in his own game, and forgotten the feeling of his power.

After the two burned alive Bill wasn't with the decision to cut his loses and start over else where or cheat and wipe the minds of his rival's thug's. Looking down at Mason, however, he wasn't sure what to do. He pressed his hand gently over Mason's knee, healing the shattered bone before moving up to his head, he couldn't wake him like this, for the mind was much too fragile but, he could see inside his husband's mind. And repair the damage that way but again, he wasn't sure he wanted that either. So he scooped up the handsome doctor along with his medical bag and teleported them home. Dropping the bag onto the kitchen table he carried Mason to their bed laying him down and played his least favorite game, the waiting game.

Once Mason awoke he jolted upright in the bed, fear immediately consuming him as he looked around, screaming for Bill and quickly checking his leg.

Bill was at his side in seconds, calming him down and reassuring him they were safe now. Once Mason calmed down Bill had told him everything and told Mason his options. 1) they could runaway together and start over 2) Bill could fix it all with a snap or 3) They did the first option and Bill would force Mason to go with him should he decide that he wanted to leave him.

Mason raised his hands in defense telling Bill to slow down and let him process.

Mason ends up requesting number 2 but that they be a couple of nobodies who aren't missed and ditch town in favor of traveling the world in search of mystery and adventure.

Mutilated Mannequin (Part 14)

He has yelled at her before, belittled her, and called her names. But he has never slapped her before. She is lucky that he had the sense to slap her arm instead of her face, she hates to imagine the damage he’d have done to her still healing chin. 

“You can walk to school today.” Ozai declares loud enough for even Zuko to flinch.

“I’ll be late.” 

“Then you better hurry.” 

And that is just the punishment for losing the election. But he isn’t done with her. He expects her to be at school on time but he won’t let her leave. “And just where the hell were you last night!?”

“I decided to go to the park and look at the stars longer, I fell asleep.” She lies. She is already in deep, the least she can do is try to dig herself out. “The school is offering a trip to NIR&Ex, I wanted to show that I should be the one to go.” 

“I can pay them to let you go.” 

“I want to know that I earned it. That I’m good enough. I want my skills to get me in...” She just wants to be good enough for someone. Anyone.

“What skills?” Ozai scowls. “Look at this.” He holds up a copy of her report card. Mostly A’s save for a B in geometry. He shoves the offending paper at her and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just get your ass to school and try to learn something this time. 

“Yes, father.” 

She doesn’t have time to eat breakfast nor pack lunch. She tries to text TyLee and Chan for a ride. They are still pissed. She would try Jet but he takes the bus and Yue lives on the other side of town. 

At least it is sunny. Chilly but sunny.

.oOo.

This time around, Azula doesn’t really try to talk to anyone. She isn’t in the mood for conversation.  She has to focus on her academics anyhow. Lunch is every bit as awful as she expects. Nothing on the school lunch menu appeals to her; it is all ridiculously greasy and smells as though they have been reheating the same meals for weeks now. Not that it matters, between her nerves and the hollow ache in her chest, she doesn’t have much of an appetite anyways. 

Having no tray to hold, Azula leans herself up against a wall and stares at her feet. She stuffs her hands into her pockets. Every now and again, she catches one of her former tablemates staring. TyLee’s are always of the sympathetic variety, while Chan’s are vicious and cutting. Yue’s are judgmental.

Somehow none of them matter. 

“Hey.” 

Azula looks up. 

“Do you want to sit with us?” Katara asks. 

Azula looks from her old table to Katara’s and then back down at her feet. The wall seems to hold her in place for a time but she pushes herself away from it and slumps quietly into the spot Katara has opened for her. 

“Are you okay?” Suki asks. 

But she still isn’t up for conversation. 

“Do you want some of my food or something?” Toph motions to her tray of chicken nuggets. Azula has a feeling that if she were to squeeze one of them, she would create a puddle of grease. She shakes her head, no.

It takes several more attempts at conversation for them to realize that she doesn’t have the energy to partake. The bell rings and Katara leaves her with some final words, “you can sit here tomorrow if you want.” 

She supposes that she should at least have the decency to respond to that. “Okay.” 

Katara offers a faint, sad smile. Azula gathers her things and heads for the door. 

“Hanging with the nerds now?” Jet asks. 

Azula shrugs. 

“You just got your face all fixed up, why waste it on those freaks?” 

Another shrug. 

If father isn’t happy with her then it has all been for nothing anyways. 

.oOo.

His fury takes on many forms. The newest of them is a declaration. “I have decided to reschedule your appointment. You will have your final procedure done this weekend.”

Azula snaps into attention, her pencil falls from between her fingers. “Wh-what?”

“This weekend. I’m getting tired of looking at those puffy cheeks.” 

They flush. “But I’m still recovering from…” 

Ozai rolls his eyes. “Don’t start acting like your brother. This weekend, bring something to keep you entertained.” 

“Yes, father.” 

He leaves the room and befalls a weighty silence. Azula looks at her essay assignment. The paper is spotted with two small wet splotches. She pushes the notebook aside and eyes the table.  

She is just about as ready for her final surgery as she had been for the first one. 

She pushes her chair in and makes her way to her bedroom. She lays there staring at the wall as hours slip by. She lays there until a knock sounds on her door. It is too light to be Ozai’s. Ever rude in mannerism, Zuko invites himself in when she doesn’t respond to his rapping. 

“I don’t think that you should get that surgery so soon after the last one.”

“I don’t think that I should get it at all.” She says softly. Far too late, she decides that she misses her old face. Even if it had been softer and less aesthetically pleasing. She misses feeling genuine. More painfully, it strikes her that if she had just waited, maybe later teenhood and adulthood would have naturally sharpened her features. “It was a mistake.” 

Zuko visibly cringes. 

Azula pulls herself upright, her hair falling in long tangles over her shoulders. “I’m tired, Zuzu.” 

“Yeah, father is draining to be around.” Zuko rubs the back of his head.

“Well, it’s your turn to be the golden child.”

Zuko sniffs, “yeah right, he just hates both of us now.” 

“I guess that he’ll calm down after I get the surgery.” 

Zuko cringes again.

“I really don’t think that you should.” 

“That’s not up to you, Zuzu.” She isn’t sure that it is up to her either. 

.oOo.

The rest of the week seems to blend and blur to the point where each day seems to blend into the next. A blurb of learning and tactless comments from her former friends. Perhaps an occasional sympathetic stare from TyLee. The monotony of it all is only broken by a heated phone argument that is taken on a friday afternoon. 

He has her on speaker so Azula can hear every word. 

“You made her get what!?” It is a voice that she hasn’t heard in ages. A voice that used to sing she and Zuko nursery rhymes before bed. 

“She’s going to be better off for it.” Ozai insists. 

“She’s still growing!” Ursa exclaims, confirming what Azula had finally come to realize. “Her face hasn’t fully developed yet and you’re already changing it?” 

“Did she tell you about this?” Ozai growls. 

“No!” With the same lateness Azula had, Ursa realizes exactly who she has thrown under the bus. 

“That boy should mind his own business.” 

Azula supposes that it is nice to know that someone is trying to get her out of tomorrow’s surgery. Not that the attempt will amount to anything. Perhaps it is unhealthy, but she spends the rest of the evening staring at the remaining portion of her face that is actually hers. She wakes up the next morning still seated in front of her vanity set. 

There is one message on her phone, a simple good morning. She has almost forgotten that she had given her number to Katara. It is such a small little thing but it makes her smile. Only for a flicker before Ozai demands her to join him for breakfast. A stiff and tense breakfast where he tries to talk to her as though he hadn’t slapped her. As though he isn’t about to make her alter the last aspect of her face that is truly hers. 

“I am proud of you.” 

Her heart swells. She knows that it is a game but it is so nice to hear. 

“For what?” 

“For getting all of the surgeries without protest. We’re just going to have to worry about that math grade…”

She lets him ramble on, simply nodding along. 

.oOo.

“Dr. Koh will see you now.”

Azula shoots Ozai a wide-eyed look. “Where is Dr. Guhira?”

“I forgot to tell you, Dr. Guhira refused to do the surgery so soon after your last one. He also said something about having a feeling that you didn’t really want the surgeries. So I found a doctor who is willing.”

“If I’m doing this, I want Dr. Guhira to perform the operation.” 

Ozai rubs his forehead. “We are already here, you are getting the surgery. Unless you’d like a repeat of Wednesday night.” 

Azula’s head spins as she peels herself off of the chair. She feels as though she is performing some sort of funeral march as she shakily makes her way towards the waiting nurse. The operating room seems to take on an icier air as she waits to meet Dr. Koh.

“Good morning, Ms. Kasai.” Dr. Koh holds out a hand. He is a tall man, an almost creepy fellow. Almost. He has a face that makes her skin crawl. His features are exaggerated. Doll-like. He is more plastic than flesh. She shudders as she takes his hand. 

He flips through pages on a clipboard. “Lets get started, shall we?” He slips the anesthetic mask over her face.

“Aren’t you supposed to outline first?”

“I know how to do my job, Ms. Kasai.” 

In the pit of her stomach, Azula doubts that. “Dr. Guhira always outlined where he was going to…”

“I have done this enough times, I don’t need to outline.” 

Azula swallows as the hiss of gas fills her ears. The anesthesia puts a halt to any further protests. She dreads what she will awaken to. 

.oOo.

She expects to wake to a sharp shooting pain, instead she finds complete numbness that Koh insists is normal. She believes him but only to an extent. She grips her father’s hand with a force that makes him wince. 

“Your face will remain swollen for about two weeks…” by now she knows the drill. Liquid diet, coming in for bandage changes, and only light exercises. Over excursion won’t be a problem she feels much too nauseous and lethargic to do anything but drag herself to bed and elevate her head. 

Ozai allows her another week off. She is surrounded in shiny things; new necklaces and rings, a new purse, and a new music player. A new dress hangs in her closet over a pair of shoes that match the dress Ozai hadn’t allowed her to wear to homecoming. It is all lovely but it does little to remedy her anxiety. 

Anxiety that does a good job of masking the first sign that something isn’t right. She is sweating profusely and still feels terribly queasy. She doesn’t have the energy to return any of her missed calls and text messages. 

Most of them are from Katara, she decides that she will respond to her first whenever she finds the motivation. The messages range from simple greetings and words of encouragement to light hearted pictures she’d found somewhere on the web before they turned to expressions of concern. 

Apparently, a week with no word from her has also been enough to get Chan’s attention. 

Distantly, in her mind, she knows that she should be elated at the chance to make amends with him but she doesn’t feel like picking up her phone. Every time she shifts, a throbbing sensation bombards her head. 

“How are you feeling?” Ozai asks. He sets a bowl of oatmeal on her nightstand. It is the second sign that something is amiss. Typically he sends one of the maids to serve her. 

“It still hurts.” An understatement. 

She is in unbearable pain.

It aches something sharp as though the scalpel is still embedded under her flesh, or perhaps, a feeling that her own bones are penetrating her skin. Had Koh removed too much fat and tissue. This, of course, is applicable to only the left side of her face. The right side lacks sensation entirely. He had said that the numbness would clear but she is still waiting. 

“I can’t feel…” She motions to her right cheek. 

“It has only been a few days, Azula.” Ozai cuts in. “Wait for the swelling fade before assuming that something is wrong.” 

“Something is wrong.” Azula insists. “Call Dr. Guhira, he’ll tell you.”  She doesn’t even put in an effort to keep the tremble out of her voice. “Something is wrong.” She repeats softly. 

Ozai takes her hand, “I know that these operations have been stressful, but this is your last one and you will be thankful when the swelling is all gone and you see how beautiful you are.” 

“Because I wasn’t before?” 

Perhaps she is only seeing what she wants to see, but she can swear that something flickers in his eyes; regret? Sympathy? Pity? Doubt? She isn’t sure, but she doesn’t like it. She likes it just as little as she likes her new face.

 (the person who wrote what was put below ) : eva-nine-has-a-sonic-rifle . tumblr . com/185806080409/a-lovely-thing-to-wake-up-to-part-2-the-ozpinning

*slams bookbag on table and sighs*

Do you have 90 minutes and an innate need to read bullshit that makes you want to gouge your own eyes out? I do, apparently. And dear, sweet, reasonable sir-adamus has been ever-so-kind as to feed the dark abyss that is my eternal smoldering wrath again. You know, adamus, the idiot who insists on making posts on Ozpin despite having the knowledge depth of a puddle about him. *cracks knuckles* Buckle up bitches. We’re doing this song and dance again.

“like, i’ve made a joke about how even Oz’s defenses of why he lies also being lies before, almost everything he has fucking said, even when there’s no reason to, has been a lie like, take for example, how he describes his reincarnation:

‘For thousands of years, I’ve walked the surface of Remnant, living, dying, and reincarnating in the body of a like-minded soul. The Professor Ozpin you all met was not my first form and clearly wasn’t my last. It’s… an extraordinarily strenuous process on everyone involved. […] I am the combination of countless men who’ve spent their lives trying to protect the people of Remnant. With every rebirth, my soul is eventually merged with another and I am changed, but my memories stay with me. This curse was bestowed upon me by the gods because I failed to stop Salem in the past. But we must stop her now.’

like, just ignoring the last two sentences (because ho boy was that all a fucking lie) - “I am the combination of countless men who’ve spent their lives trying to protect the people of Remnant. With every rebirth, my soul is eventually merged with another and I am changed, but my memories stay with me.” This. Is. A. Lie.there’s no merging, there’s no ‘combination’, he’s not some gestalt consciousness, he’s Ozma and the poor sap who is no longer the property owner of their own grey matter how do we know this? because the backstory shows us this”

Oh wow, we are off to a… FANTASTIC start.

The first part of what Ozpin says (from “For thousands of years…” to “…strenuous process on everyone involved. […]”) is true. We saw primary examples of Ozpin going through his incarnations accelerated over the course of gods-know-how-many-years. But since Adamus focuses on the second half I assume the inclusion of this was for context’s sake.

It is important to establish that the picture Ozpin gives us of how his merging process actually works is extremely vague. We know eventually his soul and his host’s merge, there is a change to the core soul as a result of that, and he remembers all of his past lives when he is in the next host. That’s all. We don’t know the degree that the core soul is changed, we don’t know HOW the merge affects Ozpin and the host, we don’t know if they become one with equal traits from both consciousness or if one soul becomes the dominant soul with traits of the other or if its something else.

Adamus assumes that they know the degree of the merge, despite as I said Ozpin being VAGUE, and deliberately ignores things like Oscar adopting Ozpin’s muscle memory and fighting skills. Or even this: “(to Oscar) I understand how you’re feeling. I went through the same panic and confusion” - Volume 4, Chapter 6: Punished

This can’t be referring to his first incarnation, in which he was indeed panicked and confused, but for different reasons, NOT because of a sudden voice in his head. Only his host would have had “the same panic and confusion” as Oscar had and Ozpin says HE went through that as well. That firsthand experience must have come from the host, which must be a part of Ozpin if he is referring to it AS firsthand experience.

Oh, but don’t worry, Adamus is going to try and use The Lost Fable to justify their assumptions, and considering how they think Salem is not an abuser, my confidence in their interpretations of this episode are eroded to the bone.

“when he wakes up in his first reincarnation, he’s just Ozma in a new body and acts such - the poor guy who had his consciousness suppressed hardly makes a peep for the remainder of his life (Ozma never even learned his name)”

1. Yeah, because he says his soul is EVENTUALLY merged with his hosts. It’s not instantaneous, so at the beginning, he really is just Ozpin shoved into another person’s body.

2. Ozma was under the assumption the body had no prior occupant, considering he overrode the previous occupant’s control by accident.

Also, more evidence for the merge: When the original person DOES choose to make a peep, its to say “What are we doing?”. Not “What are you doing?”, “What are WE doing?”. The original occupant’s wording is inclusionary, not quite as much as first person, but as if he and Ozma are cooperative (maybe not consciously given Ozma’s surprise at the voice) at some level.

“and we’re outright told by Jinn that this was Ozma’s MO with all his bodies until very recently:”

Not very recently given he’s learned to coexist with his hosts by the time Dadpin is his host and Dadpin was alive prior to the Great War and there are at least 2 incarnations between him and Beacon Academy Ozpin (The Inquisitor who asked Jinn The Question and the Last King of Vale) and there is an undetermined amount of time between the Inquisitor and the Last King of Vale.

“’Thus began a long and painful cycle of death and rebirth for Ozma. Some lives were spent in mourning, many were spent attempting to forget it all. But no matter what, his mind would eventually turn back to the task he had been burdened with. And as the centuries went on, Ozma began to learn the importance of living with the souls with which he had been paired.’

Ozma is treated as a throughline and the bodies he lives and discards are an afterthought, there’s no indication of a mingling of consciousness,”

Because half these incarnations we saw as a montage and never even saw what they were like, so there can’t be an indication of a mingling. For all we know, Ozma sat in the back of their minds and just watched shit unfold.

“no actual proof that these people were ‘like-minded souls’ because he never gave a lot of them a chance to live their lives once he moved in”

And we have no actual proof they weren’t like-minded souls when he did. Given the theming of the montage we did see of his incarnations (Darkness, misery, and drinking —> Light, moving forward), it is actually supported that they are like-minded souls given Ozma’s mental state at the time.

“and the later ones were only allowed to operate semi-independently out of courtesy (and i’m sure in no small part to Ozma becoming aware that while he can jack control pretty much whenever he wants, he no longer has the power to fight them off if they try the same), and none of them have a choice but to do what Oz wants or he’ll just take over and do it anyway - again, Oz only likes to offer the illusion of choice, not real ones”

Adamus: Ozpin can take control whenever he wants but plays the cooperative game because he’s aware he doesn’t have the power to keep control if the host fights for it.

Also Adamus: The host has no choice but to do what Ozpin wants because he’d just take over and do it anyway. Never mind that I just said that Ozpin can’t keep control if the host decides to fight him for it and we’ve seen that keeping control for strenuous periods like fighting in the Battle for Haven tires him out enough to take a backseat, or that if what I said was true then The Lost Fable wouldn’t exist as an episode because that was Ozpin at his most desperate and Oscar still managed to fend him off. The smoke I blow out of my ass made my eyes water.

“so it was a bunch of bullshit malarkey to garner sympathy, offer false hope to Oscar (because Oz is real good at piling that on) and continue to keep everyone in the dark about what’s really going on because he’s fully intent on leading them to their deaths for no real gain other than it’ll make him feel better about himself”

So, that was a bunch of misinterpreted bullshit by the Resident Ozpin Expert Adamus who continues to show they’re not qualified for this job by closing off with Ozpin is leading them to their deaths despite Ozpin having no intent to confront Salem because we’ve seen that is an exercise in futility. As if somehow watching everyone die would do wonders for Ozpin’s mental state.

But they seem to be under the impression that Ozpin is a compulsive liar, which he isn’t. He lies more than is beneficial to him, that much is certain, but he always has a reason for each lie he tells. Lying about the merge serves zero purpose, even in hindsight. If anything, it’s openly to his detriment because it would make Oscar more anxious and reluctant to trust him. Unless a possible reason for him to lie about the merge being a thing exists, he isn’t lying about it. It just wouldn’t make sense.

Prologue (Part 1)

Or: My Dinner with Reuben

Blood War: Masquerade of the Red Dead Trilogy Volume 1

I always loved the cover art. It was done by an artist called BROM. Here’s his website.

Robert Weinberg dedicates the book to Edgar Allan Poe “for obvious reasons” and Bram Stoker “who started it all”, though Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu might disagree with that. On Poe, peppered throughout the book, between the three parts and on the back cover are short quotes from his works, mostly “The Masque of the Red Death”. Obviously. It’s a little BS though. Any elements inspired by Poe are shallow, at least in this book.

Underneath the dedication is a little disclaimer:

While the locations and history of this trilogy may seem familiar, it is not our reality. The setting of Vampire: The Masquerade of the Red Death is a harsher, crueler version of our world. It is a stark, desolate landscape where nothing is what it seems. It is truly a World of Darkness.

For in the grim dark 1990′s there is only war. And vampires.

Going into the book I thought this disclaimer was a little wanky. I expected that “a harsher, crueler version of our world” would translate to “our world but with more rats, goths, and supernatural creatures.” Similarly, the book’s spine labels the genre as “Dark Fantasy” which in my experience usually translates to “regular fantasy but with more rape.” Turns out the World of Darkness setting is a little more complicated than that, but most of the time Weinberg isn’t too subtle on the whole “darker version of our world” thing.

I just want to let you know, before we get started, that I’m not the biggest expert when it comes to V:TM lore. I’ve never played the tabletops, or read their source books. My knowledge comes from Bloodlines, wiki binges, and lore dumps on Reddit and the Something Awful Bloodlines 2 thread. Please bear with my dumb ass if I get something wrong.

Alright, enough preamble, let’s get to the actual story.

We start in Rome, June 15, 1992, at an outdoor restaurant near the Coliseum. A meeting there was set up the night before through an anonymous phone call to the “heart of the Vatican.” For a suitcase full of money, they’d talk about vampires, or as the book dramatically puts it:

“We will talk,” declared the mysterious voice in somber, cold tones, “of The Kindred.”

The first to arrive is Father Naples, named so because it’s a word you’d find on a map of Italy. He’s a member of the Society of Leopold, who only get one more brief mention after this prologue so all you need to know is that they’re Catholic vampire hunters. He’s a big buff guy, described like a cross between a priest and a high ranking CIA agent. He came unarmed.

His faith served as his shield.  Along with the five other agents of the Society of Leopold in the restaurant, including two women disguised as streetwalkers.

The Society of Leopold is the “the devil was behind this” kind of religious, so it’s weird they’d jump straight to hookers when thinking of disguises for their agents, or that said agents would agree to it. But this is the World of Darkness, a harsher, crueler version of our own, and that means there’s hookers everywhere, so put on the hot pants and think of Italy.

So Father Florence here’s got his disguised agents, who “carried enough firepower on them to start a minor war.” He’s also something of a badass.

And, though he had retired years before as a field operative, Father Naples still maintained his training in the martial arts. An expert at both kendo and karate, he could kill an attacker a dozen different ways.

He’s also got some agents in a nearby hotel room with a directional microphone aimed at his table to record the conversation. Soon, the target of all this seeming overkill arrives; a blonde mid-twenties guy in a white suit. His voice was different than the one who made the phone call, implying to Naples, and us, that there’s at least two people involved on the other side of this setup. It’s a neat bit of foreshadowing. After a firm handshake and no-selling Father Naples’s patented death glare, the stranger introduces himself as Reuben, “like the sandwich.” They banter a bit about the biblical Reuben before he decides to troll the Father a bit. First by saying he’s older than he looks, then by passing on the Father’s offer of wine.

“No thank you,” said Reuben. “I do not drink wine.”

He waits a beat for a reaction, then orders a Coke and a menu. I think I like Reuben.

Since vampires can’t eat or drink (unless they have high Humanity and a good dice roll) Father Naples is thus satisfied that the guy is not a vampire trying to trick him, deciding he’s “definitely human. And not very clever.” Reuben had made an obligatory knock at airline food, so now Naples believed the agents recording the conversation could use this clue to track down his real name and where he came from through airline records.

They get to the You Got the Cash/You Got the Stuff part of negotiations, with Reuben showing off the twenty million US dollars in his briefcase (Not euro because we’re the only country whose currency matters fuck you Italy) in exchange for a monologue from Naples about the history of the Kindred, starting from the beginning. Reuben says Father Naples can summarize if need be.

“Summarize?... How does one summarize ten thousand years of absolute evil? An impossible task, but let me try.”

The rest of the prologue until the end is Naples’ exposition on vampires while he drinks a shit ton of vino. Since it’s Vampire: The Masquerade Lore 101, I’ll summarize like our pal Naples.

Vampires secretly control the world. There are thirteen vampire clans descended from Caine, of Cain and Abel fame only spelled with an e for some reason. Ye olde Caine killed his brother, though I once read that in this setting it wasn’t so much just committing the first murder as introducing the very concepts of murder and killing to reality and basically ruining everyone’s lives, including demons. God punished Caine by giving him vampirism, forcing him to kill to survive for inventing killing. The vampirism also gave him superpowers, so he’s like a little bloodsucking demigod. I’ve seen jokes about God punishing Caine by giving him cool superpowers, but according to Father Naples Caine needed them because everyone knew what happened and were pissed at him for inventing murder and eating them. When everyone and everything wants to kill you on sight you need to be OP to survive and then feel sad about it.

(He also didn't learn most of those powers until later, when he met Lilith.)

Caine discovered that he could make more vampires through the classic “drain their blood to the point of near death and then feeding them your own blood” method. He sired three new vampires, who weren’t as powerful as him but still quite capable of ruining your day, a trend that continues through twelve or thirteen vampiric generations, although the latest generations are puny compared to Caine and his kids.

Caine and the Second Generation founded Enoch, the First City, and were worshiped there as gods, I’m guessing because of a mixture of fear and the hope of getting some sweet vampire powers if you suck up to the first murderer. The Second Generation then sired the Third Generation, thirteen vampires that became known as the Antediluvians. They’re the ones the modern thirteen vampire clans descend from. 

Then everything goes to shit for Caine. Again. The Antediluvians, ambitious dicks, rose up and killed the Second Generation, destroying Enoch in the process. This could be thought of as Caine’s true curse: being forced to watch his childer, and their childer, and so on plot against and murder each other as he had done to his brother, and generally being a plague on mankind. See, Vampire: The Masquerade can be a bit too try-hard edgy and horny at times, but then you also get neat bits of writing and lore like that. As for Caine, he disappeared after the fall of Enoch. He’s now a cab driver in Los Angeles. Or a hermit in Greece, messing with traveling scholar vampires. Or both. Depends on who you ask. No, really. I’m being serious.

I should mention that, religious guy that he is, Father Naples likes to pepper his monologue with casual mentions of the devil. He says things like...

“It was then, in his darkest despair, that Caine learned from Satan a monsterous secret.”

“Encouraged by Satan, Caine created three such monsters.”

“And, in time, urged by Lucifer, they, too, bestowed the gift of eternal life on a select group of their victims.”

“They knew not the Lord God, but Lucifer, the Dark Angel.”

...and generally blaming the big guy below for getting the vampires to do vampire things. While most of what Father Naples says about the setting’s history is correct, the Satan stuff isn’t. Lucifer is a character in the World of Darkness, specifically Demon: The Fallen, but he has nothing to do with V:TM. This adds a neat bit of characterization and unreliability to Naples’ narrative; something Reuben will point out at the end of the prologue.

The Great Flood happened, but Father Naples doesn’t mention it. He skips to the Antediluvians founding the Second City, which didn’t get a name like Enoch because in its two thousand years of existence apparently no one could think of one. With the support of their childer, the fourth generation, they ruled over the Second City and, according to Naples, enslaved humanity. But eventually humanity rose up against the vampires, killing some of them with sunlight, fire, and beheading. The Second City fell and the surviving vampires fled. The Antediluvians disappeared. Some modern day vampires believe the Antediluvians were all dead, while others (the correct ones, turns out) believe they’re hiding, resting in torpor (a kind of vampire coma) this whole time and one day, they’d wake up and, as Father Naples says, “...the world of the Undead shall tremble.” This is our first mention in this book of Gehenna, the end of the wold according to the Kindred. He also says their return was predicted in Revelations, but I’m no biblical expert so I can’t tell you what bits of Revelations that might be referring too.

Reuben asks what happened to the fourth generation, or the Methuselahs as they’re now known because they’re old as balls but not “lived before the Biblical Flood” old. Father Naples tells him, then goes on to explain the titular Masquerade, vampire factions, and the thirteen clans.

Creepypasta x Mary Sue Child Reader (revised version, originally posted on Deviantart  in 2017)

(this is a parody BTW)

 Based on a true story.

"Thank meou!" you said to your parents. You were an 3 month old neko baby kitten cub girl. Like all nekos you had the tail, claws, and fangs of a cat and had cat ears on the top of your head and had a cat form and had the senses of a cat and was smarter than the average human and is extremly kawaii desu. You're hot pink tail (as hot pink as your cat ears)was bushy, pinned up and curly at the tip and was the most softest, fluffiest, cutest, thing on the entire planet. You were wearing a Hello Kitty diaper with a hole cut into it for your tail, a little white dress with a silk purple ribbon around the waist that tied into a bow in your hair with a baby blue rose above it, and. You're parents had just given you you're 87th plate of cheesecake and waffles for the 3 month anniversary of your birth (you was 3 months old) and you was gurgling, purring, mewing, meouing and giggling at the top of your lungs at the sight and smell of the food. You was smiling at them showing you're fangs.You hugged your rainbow sparkled stuffed animal rainbow unicorn named Unicorny tight to your chest as you ate the food from your food bowl. Your tail was rapidly swishing back and forth and your cat ears were twitching in excitment at the food and you where jumping up and down at literally rapid fire speeds causing your high chair to bounce up and down rapidly too at the food. "May I PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE give my widdle stuffy wuffy some foodie foods two, Mommy-chan?" you said in literally the cutest voice any life form in any universe had and would ever use ever as you were grabbing the cheesecake and waffles in your claws and shoving them into your mouth. "No she's all full y/n." your mommy said."Okey dokey pokey mommy-chan!" you said. "That was yum yum yummy in my tum tum tummy mommy-Chan and daddy-chan!" you said finishing the food and grabbing Unicorny and turning into your cat form so you can jump into your father's arms with your stuffy without hurting yourself. Turning back into your neko form you said "Kay now Daddy-chan where's that twelfth bag of catnip you pwomised?" You're daddy gave a little baggy of catnip to you and scratched your ears causing you to gurgle, purr, mew, meou and giggle more louder than before and rub your head into his hand. ''Yep daddys little kitten." your daddy said, making you curl into a ball with your tail swishing side to side and hug your stuffy tighter while eating the catnip. My life is completely utterly absolutely positively 110 % perfect!, you you thought to yourself. Me mommy-chan and daddy-chan always give me exactly what I want, do exactly as I say, let me do whatever I want, feed me 100 square meals a day plus snacks, give me literally 24/7 attention over anything else and never get on to me or punish me even whan I break stuff or throw other babies out windows or cry uninterrupted for 5 weeks straight because they bought me the wrong My Little Pony plushie! Exactly like all good mommies and daddies should be! Mommy-chan and daddy-chan are the bestest peoples in the universe and I'm so glad they don't spoil me! I sure hope notting bad ever happens to me and my family! You fall asleep after you thought this so your parents put a pacifier in your mouth and placed you gently into your crib. When you waked up the next morning you went through your daily routine of waking up your parents by screaming at the top of your lungs for them to feed you but stopped when noticed you something. You wasn't in your crib. You were in a cardboard box in an alley. You find a note next to you. Being a neko, your eyesight was far better, allowing you to make note of everything and read the note perfectly despite being a 3 months old baby kitten cub. The note said: "We can't take care of you anymore so we gave you a box to stay in and left you with all the essential things to survive." the note said. You looked around your box. The note was right, your mommy and daddy HAD given all the essentials of living to you: stuffed animals, toys, princess dresses, Sippy cups, your rattle, etc. You hold your stuffy Unicorny close to you and played with your rattle for 8 weeks until you realized you're parents wernt coming back. You cried and screamed. You made a boom boom in your diapie. You cried and screamed louderer. It started storming and rain came and made you and your stuff all wet and also started drowning you. You cried and screamed loudererer. Hailstones fell and started hitting you giving you many boo boos you could feel the boo boos hurting and you tried holding in the pain but failed. You cried and screamed louderererer. Lightning started striking you and setting you on fire giving you even more boo boos. You cried and screamed so loud that astronauts in outer space could hear you yet still so no one helped you. You were left crying and screaming in your box with no food, water or air for 6 months until two peoples found your box and threw it (and you) into a bag. The two peoples couldn't resist going "aww" when they saw you for the first time due to how cute and perfect you is. Carrying the bag (with you still in it) to a place the two peoples through you HARD on a metal table (givng you yet another boo boo) and then give you many shots making you cry from all the boo boos and then pass out. You waked up in a white room and the peoples explained they were scientists and they had injected you with 8 trillion different kinds of chemicals and you were now a creepypasta. They also told you your new powers. You could warp reality, teleport, shoot lasers from your eyes, read minds, turn invisible, you had 70, 109 hot pink retractable indestructible tentacles that where super strong and could cut threw literally anything in the universe, you had a chimera form, you were super strong, you were faster than an airplane, you were super smart, you had extremely kawaii desu yet also terrifying bat wings protruding from your back (but you couldn't fly yet) , your neko powers was increased 50, 000000000 fold, and you was 10,  0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 trillion times cuter than before yet also scary. They also gave you a mirror. You saw yourself. You gasp. Your naturally blue hair is done up in pigtails (as always) but now had pink, red, white, green, yellow, purple, orange, and black streaks. Your previously beautiful shimmering purple eyes has changed color: they were now blood red and bleeding blood but they still shimmered beautifully. You noticed you could now walk and stand and din't you have to crawl anymore despite being baby. You immediantly turns into your new chimera form and ran around knocking many things down with your snake tail until you knocked into a table, fell down, landed on your but and got your seven millionth boo boo in the past 6 months. Turning back into your neko form you started to cry your booty hurt and your knew was scraped with blood comeing out. "But I'm bored and and I want my wattle and my sippie cup and my bottle and my stuffies and my paci and my yawn balls and my chew toys and i’m hungwy and thirsty and i want see my mommy-Chan and Daddy-chan and I no wanna be a cweepypasta and there's doo doo in my diapie and I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many boo boos!" you said in your adorably perfect cute kawaii desu little voice. Immediately one of the scientist peoples grabbed you so hard by the tail you thought he was gonna tear it out and swung you like a lasso over his head and threw you headfirst into a metal door causing you to more cry. He then picked you back up by yir tail and repeated this process 239 more times until you stopped crying. "I don't care what you want your a creepypasta now and you do what we say now. You're name is y/n no longer your new name is Kitten Child Cutie Pie Kawaii Chan the Killer you are the only one who can defeat Zalgo.'' the scientist people said. [TIMSEKIP] It's your second birthday and has been at the place for 18 months. You was cutely wearing a cute hot pink unicorn onesie with holes cut into it for your cute bat wings, a cute sparkled Hello Kitty beanie with holes cut into it for your cute cat ears, a cute bedazzled silver princess tiara, a cute baby blue hairpin in your hair with an Operator symbol on it, a cute hot pink tutu, a cute purple diapie with a hole cut into it for your cute tail and and were cutely cuddling your cute stuffy Unicorny. These objects were the only things that remained from your box. The day you first arrived at the place the scientist peoples took every single other one of your possessions and set them on fire with a flamethrower before setting you on fire and beating you with the flamethrower. The peoples at the place were such meanie weanies to you. Every day since they found you did almost nothing but sleep, train to use your powers so you can defeat Zalgo, get experimented on and get the beatings. Every single day they would use all kinds of torture methods on you. Their ways of torturing you included giving you the beatings for 15-22 hours a day, tying both your hands and feet together and then throwing you in a washing machine at high speed, filling your diapie with broken glass and rusty nails without even changing it first, disintergrating your body with acid, cutting your eyes, arms and legs off and forcing you to eat them before they regenerated, setting you on fire and then throwing you into a shark tank, making you sleep on a bed of nails covered in fire ants suspended above a pit of venomous snakes, covering you in BBQ sauce and letting the guard dogs use you as a chew toy before breaking your limbs and shoving you headfirst into a meatgrinder, pouring a mixture of boiling water and gasoline directly into your eyes and making you eat green beans. When you weren't getting the beatings or being tortured you were training to uses your powers and be a more better fighter. Because of you're training and since you had aged, your chimera form grew into something more much more edgy and scary despite you still being an perfectly flawless, amazing, kind, nice, 2 year old adorable little ball of fluffy cuteness. In all of your forms (kitten, chimera and neko) you were completely and utterly indestructible and incapable of being harmed in absolutely any way shape or form whatsoever. As a younger baby kitten cub, your small teeth could only bite so much, mostly only being able to dig into and tear your opponents throats out without effort. Now every single tooth was sharp as swords and could instantly tear off entire limbs with one bite and also bite threw solid steel. Your claws as a younger baby kitten cub could do enough damage to make jagged lines across flesh, ripping any and all tissue or muscle in the way, but now your claws in both your cat, neko and chimera forms were strong enough to cut through time itself. Your meou as a younger baby kitten cub was extremely weak, only being able to make people's ears bleed if you wanted it to. Now you could make trillions of people's heads explode at once if you wanted it to. The fangs on your snake head had venom before and still constantly dripped the lethal chemical when you was in that form, but know the venom could instantly melt people into thin air with just one drop. Your goat head's horns were razor sharp, completely indestructible and had a lot of scratches from deflecting chainsaws, laser beams, swords, rocket launchers, baseball bats, nuclear missiles and any other weapon the scientist peoples could even try to hurt you with. All heads in your chimera form (lion, snake and goat) could breathe fire and you breath fire in your neko and kitten forms as well. Your cat ears could pick up even the slightest movement before, but now you could tune your ears so well you could hear the heartbeat of flies on the opposite side of the world. You eyesight was far more better than a normal human before, allowing you to take note of literally absolutely positiv;y every single tiny little thing around you but now it was so good you could make out the individual molecules of dust particles on other planets in other solar systems in other universes if you so desired. You could instantly regenerate from any wound and your regenerative powers was so great you could regenerate even if someone went back in time and erased you from existence.   You were 19 trillion times faster than the speed of light, but the peoples only trained you for strength. That was literally the one only thing in the history of existence that didn't come naturally for you, but even then you completely excelled at it. Your senses and powers only further developed and increased even further with each passing nanosecond. Due to being able to make people's heads explode you're catchphrase is "I made a boom boom!" because all creepypastas need catchphrases. You weren't even out of diapers yet and already you were the most powerful being in the entire universe, 8,00000000000000000000000 times more powerful than Zalgo, Slenderman and every other creepypasta on Earth combined. According to the scientist peoples calculations, you'd be able to juggle planets with one finger and destroy entire universes with a sneeze at age 16! You only had an hour of playtime a day and since you only had 1 stuffy and no toys, rattles, bottles, sippy cups, catnip, etc. you weren't happy then very much either but were . The peoples only gave you a laptop to play with. On your laptop you mainly watched anime and listened to music while researching your fellow creepypastas. Today you were going onto the best and most reliable source of creepypasta information: Wattpad. You were listening to your favorite song as you read the extremely accurate and well written stories Wattpad had to offer. "Cwawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal!" you sang along as you browse the site. Suddenly the lead scientist people burst into the room and gave you his usual greeting: 945 roundhouse kicks to the face and 857 dropkicks to the stomach. Before you even had time to cry he grabbed your laptop and smashed it over you head until it breaked into a million billion zillion pieces. Then you cryed. The scientist people said "Kitten Child Cutie Pie Kawaii Chan the Killer I came two say that since it's your birthday we should gift you by using every single torture method at our disposal. You aren't getting any food today and no I don't care that you haven't had a single bite to eat in 6 months. Also you're getting the beatings right now before the experiments and training sessions. Also you have no play time anymore so I destroyed your computer. Stop crying you little brat this is all so you can defeat Zalgo." You and looked more at him very sadder and said "But it's Halloween! Which is also my birthday! I just tuwned two! You should be giving me cheesecake and waffles and pwesents and candy! YOUR A BIG DUM DUM MEANIE POO POO HEAD!" "WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUANGE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" the scientist people said before grabbed you by the bat wings and threw you headfirst into the solid steel door of your room 700000 times until you passed out. When you waked up the boo boos on your head caused you to cry and that was before you got the beatings. The scientist peoples took turns beating you with sledgehammers and crowbars for 7 hours then threw you hard onto the metal table and gave you 150000 shots before throwing you in the torture room. There they removed your onesie and attached electrodes to your tongue, eyes, cat ears, human ears, nipples, fingers, toes, tail, fangs, claws, eyelashes, wings and all 70, 109 of your tentacles and shocked you at an extremely high volume of electricity for 9 hours straight before trying literally every single torture method they've ever used on you and then they put your onesie back on you and threw you hard into the training room where you had to fight 100,000 highly trained ninjas carrying laser guns. You effortlessly defeated them with your powers in 5 seconds, 4 seconds longer than your usual training session. Because of this they attached you to to a machine that spanked you at supersonic speeds while punching you in the face at supersonic speeds, harshly pulling your extremely sensitive tail and cat ears and shocking you 1,000 times harder than the electrodes did at the same time for 7 hourss before beating you again and grabbing you roughly by the cat ears and threw you back into your room. You cuddled Unicorny to your chest tighter than anyone had ever cuddled a stuffy before and tried to cry but you cried so much during yur time at the place that you had completely ran out of all water in your body and were now crying black blood tears instead. "It's my biwthday Unicorny and they were so mean to me! They bwoke my laptop and made go hungwy again and beat me and shocked me and water -boawded me and set me on fire and thwew me in the shawk tank and made me dwink hot lava and even worse, they gave me no pwesents and cake for my biwthday or candy for Halloween! Instead I got boo boos and hurties and owie wowies! I feel like one giant boo boo Unicorny! WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP INSIIIIIIIIIIDE!" you said to your cute little stuffy before falling asleep. Suddenly you woke up and heard a voice in you head (btw you had been driven completely and totally insane and now heard voices in your head. You were still sweet and cute though.) Just use your creepypasta powers to escape the place and defeat Zalgo, shorty. said the voice. This thought had never ever once crossed your mind once during the 18 months you had been at the place and tortured you. You hug Unicorny tight to you as you used your laser vision to melt through the door of your room and escape into the hallway and killed all 900 armed gards with your tentacles in 5 nanoseconds before turn into your chimera form. "I MADE A BOOM BOOM!" you said before started ramming people to death with your goat head before biting them with your snake head and poising them causing them all to melt. You tearing people apart with your claws, tentacles and lion head fangs while firing laser beams in your eyes from all directions and breathing fire from all 3 heads and exploding people's heads with your meou all at once. After brutally murdering every single one of the scientist peoples in a very edgy yet kawaii desu way and eating their corpses you drew Operator symbols, kittens, little knives, puppies, pentagrams, flowers, 666 symbols and smiley faces on the wall in the scientist's blood. Despite you being a 2 year old doodling on walls with human blood your art skills far surpassed the likes of Pablo Picasso and Vincent Van Gogh in it's beauty and excellency. Anyway you teleported to Zalgo's dimension and killed him in 1 nanosecond in your kitten form with no powers and both hands tied behind your back then went back to the place. After that you left the place and go in the woods and started playing with Unicorny until you saw a tall faceless man standing in front of you. He went "Aww" upon seeing you. He had a nice smell, you instantly loved everything about him with absolutely positively every single tiny little fiber of your being and completly forgot about your real parents as you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him as your father figure. You imediantly grabbed Unicorny and ran up to Slenderman. "Is it really you, Slender-Chan?" she said. "Yes." he said. "Is it twue that you're a kind cawing nuwturing father figure, Masky-Chan's a bwown haired blue eyed shy cheesecake obsessed teenage pwoxy, Hoodie-Chan's a stuttering shy pwoxy who's madly in love of Masky-chan, Ticci Toby-Chan's extwemly hyper and can't talk about anything besides waffles, Ben-Chan's a pewverted video game obsessed stoner whose last name Dwowned and who's madly in love with Jeff the Killer-Chan, Smile Dog-Chan's an adorable wittle puppy that Jeffy-chan keeps as a pet, Sally-Chan's a compwetely flawless shining pawagon of humanity who's instantly wuved by evewyone she comes acwoss and always get's what she wants no matter what just like me, Laughing Jack-Chan's a wovable candy obsessed dope who wuves kids and that all the cweepypastas live in a big beautiful mansion as a big happy loving family who constantly take wandom people to live in the mansion and be part of the family?" she said. "Yes it is and could you tell me more about yourself, child?" he said. "My name is y/n but my cweepypasta name is Kitten Child Cutie Pie Kawaii Chan the Killer. This is my stuffy Unicorny. I'm a 2 year old neko who was given powers too defeet Zalgo, which I dwid. My likes are stuffies, wattles, puppies, kitties, ponies, chew toys, bottles, dollies, cheesecake, waffles, cawtoons, candy, tea pawties, fishies, being held, yarn balls, soft petting of my tail and cat ears, cuddles, warm hugs, positivity, killing innocent people and eating their corpses, unicorns, cwean diapies and cute things. My dislikes are meanie weanies, not getting what I want, other people getting more attention than me, veggie weggies, dirty diapies, and cweepy things. My theme song is How Could This Happen to Me? by Simple Plan. My stats are stwength: 10/10, speed: 10/10, intwelligence: 10/10, cuteness: OVER 9000 out of 10! LULZ RANDOM XD! I'm gonna call you papa-chan, Slender-Chan.  I'm a mur-dle-ler.. murder. Murdererer. Uh, I'm a killer papa-chan! So you should take me to the mansion and make me part of the creepypasta family, especially since I'm your daughter now! Also my hair-pin is your mark! Therefore I are now your child!" you said pointing to your hairpin. You then said "Oh and my cathphwase is "I MADE A BOOM BOOM!" because I can make people's heads expwode with my meou! I also say it when my diapie need to be changed! Now can you pwease take me to the mansion and make me part of the family papa-chan?"   Slenderman, in tears, picks you up and held you in front of his faceless face. "Kitten Child, you are the literally the single absolute most greatest thing I've ever seen in my several thousand years of life. Nothing has or will ever surpass your greatness. Im glad you're my daughter now. Not only will I make you part of the creepypasta family, but I'll make you the new leader of the creepypastas  and the top priority over any single other thing in my life." he said. You gasp. "Does that mean you'll have tea parties with me and give me cute onesies to wear and sing me wullabies and give me bathy wathies and watch Naruto: Shippedun with me  and give me huggles and kissies and bwow waspberries on my tummy tums and obey my every single whim or command without question, papa-chan?" you said. "Of Course Kitten child." he said. This insttally caused you to gurgle, purr, mew, meou and giggle loudly in a way that was very cute and adorable but also extremly demonic and scary at the same time. "Yep. Your the cutest killer ever." Slenderman said before teleporting to the mansion with you. Inside the mansion Splendorman, Trenderman, Sexual Offenderman, Masky, Hoodie, Ticci Toby, Clockwork, Sally, Ben Drowned, Smile Dog, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Lost Silver, Glitchy Red, Sonic. exe, Tails Doll, Bloody Painter, Jason the Toymaker, Homicidal Liu, Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, the other Jane the Killer, Nina the Killer, Jana the Killer, Charlie the Killer, Cleo the Killer, Jessica the Killer,  Jessie the Killer, Jess the Killer, Cassie the killer, Camille the Killer, Jenn the Killer, Jenny the Killer, White the Killer, Kyle the Killer, John the Killer, Jenna the Killer, Ray the Killer, Poopsy the Killer, Ashley the Killer, the Puppeteer and Jaimy the Killer were all standing there waiting for Slenderman. "Waffles waffles waffles." said Ticci Toby. "Cheesecake cheesecake cheesecake." said Masky. "Kidneys kidneys kidneys." said Eyeless Jack. "Video games video games video games." said Ben Drowned. "Candy candy candy." said Laughing Jack. "Cutesy cutesy cute cute cute!" said Sally. 

Then Slenderman teleports into room with you in his arms. All the creepypastas went aww when they see you and instantly loved you because of how amazing and adorable you are and were happy you were part of the creepypasta family. "Hi everyone this is Kitten Child Cutie Pie Kawaii Chan the killer. She is a 2 year old neko. She is also the new leader of the creepypasta family and is the most dangerous killer on earth." Slenderman said. "You mean this sweet, little, tiny, cute, adorable, perfect, flawless, amazing, astounding, wonderful, kawaii desu little baby neko kitten cub is more dangerous than every other creepypasta in the universe?" Cleo the Killer said. "Yes she killed Zalgo." Slenderman said. "Wow." the creepypastas said. "Welcome to the family, Kitten Child. Do you have anything to say, Kitten Child." Slenderman said. "Thank meou!" you said. 

(Oh by the way this is what you looks like at the end):

Groot Steve Rocket Bucky Scenes from a Life: Free Will

From the team that brought you The Shrapnel in Your Heart, who really should have had their Tumblr messenger apps taken away by now, comes an intimate portrayal of a retired life of leisure, except for when it’s not. Based on the ridiculous head-canon that Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky all live together in a New York City apartment after Infinity War. From misadventures, pranks, and drinking shenanigans to harrowing reckonings of their past, Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky will eventually carve out an odd little family for themselves. That is, if they don’t kill each other first. A series of incorrect quotes, flash fics and funny scenes/dialogues. Lots of humor and fluff, some angst….okay, moderate amounts of angst.

Read the entire GSRB Scenes from a Life Series on A03

Check out the work of my partner in crime at Skarabrae_stone on A03 and follow them here @captaintoomanybattles

*Warning: This fic contains EXPLICIT discussions of torture, animal abuse, graphic descriptions of violence, and ptsd.*

89P13 strained against the metal clamps that held him down to the table. A  figure loomed over him, saw in hand. “

B….barnes…?” 89P13’s body shook so hard he could barely form the words. Bucky’s blue eyes narrowed, his mouth obscured by the mask he wore. He picked up the saw. 89P13 braced for the pain. “Barnes! B..Bucky! Wh...what are yah’ doing?!” In answer, 89P13 felt the serrated blade carve through his arm. He looked, pleading up at Bucky, before his vision went black.

Rocket shot upward, fur on edge. Safe, you’re safe. Just a nightmare. In the darkness he scanned the room, pitch black but for the red and white traffic lights that danced against Groot’s bark like light above water. Groot sat upright, thin branches anchoring him to the wall, a drop of sap leaking from the corner of his mouth. Good, didn’t wake him this time. Rocket smiled, hopping down from where he had scrounged together an amalgamation of discarded blankets, quilts and pillows for a bed. There was no point in trying to get back to sleep; only more nightmares would await him. Rocket walked towards the door, stopping to brush up against one of Groot’s legs. He nuzzled against it affectionately, closing his eyes as he did so. In his sleep Groot reached down stroking his fur. As always the comfort of his friend soothed his heart back to normal. That solid presence, always ready to hold him and guide him from his memories. Groot rumbled, cracking an eye.

“It’s okay, don’t get up,” Rocket murmured, nuzzling against the flora colossus once more before standing and leaving, closing the door gently behind him. He padded down the hallway, stopping as he made his way to the living room. Bucky sat on the couch, the couch where--three nights earlier--he had revealed to Rocket the truth behind his creation. A prototype developed by Hydra before they attempted their cybernetics on humans, or one specific human, Bucky Barnes. That had been Rocket’s purpose, the reason for his torture. A terrible reason, but a reason filling what was once the black hole of ambiguity.

“Can’t sleep?” Bucky asked. Rocket nodded, coming closer. “Yeah, neither could I.”

There was no point in telling the humie about the nightmares. Poor bastard already blames himself for every other thing he’s done. No sense in making him feel worse. I already burden Groot enough with this stuff, he thought, scratching his ear nervously. It wasn’t the humie’s fault that Hydra wanted to do their experiments on animals first. Animal, the word left a sourness in Rocket’s belly.

“Nightmares?” Bucky asked, as if reading his mind.

Rocket nodded.

“I get them, too.”

The raccoonoid did his best not to imagine. Silence descended once more around them.

“How’d you get out?” Bucky wondered aloud after a moment. “Did Groot...help you escape?”

“Nah,” Rocket dismissed with a wave of his hand, coming closer. “Groot’s got his own story.”

“ So how…?”

Rocket held up a finger, cutting Bucky off as he made his way to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of beer, cracking them open with his claws.

“I don’t need….” Bucky attempted.

“You asked, you drink.” Rocket ordered, handing him the bottle. The humie nodded, taking a gulp. For his part, the raccoonoid drank down half the bitter foamy beverage before he hoisted himself up on the couch next to Bucky.

“ If what you told me is true then they were trying to make me a weapon like you,” he said carefully, “but it was tough, giving us sentience.” Rocket took another sip, staring at the shadowy rug before them. “Wasn’t long until the scientists figured out ya couldn’t get sentience without free will, no matter what they tried.” Rocket shivered. “And they tried a lot. Free will means ideas. Choices.”

Bucky nodded, wringing the bottle he held in his hands.

“They never gave us no choice, but pretty soon I started getting ideas of my own.” He flashed a toothy grin that made Bucky shudder.

Rocket took another swig of beer, waiting for that warm fuzziness to dull his mind. “I tried to get out six times before I eventually escaped.” At this, he pointed to his wrist, pushing the thick fur aside to expose a nasty car. Bucky looked at with recognition. “One,” Rocket pointed to his right foot,  showing a similar abrasive scar on the ankle. “Two,” the punishment for escaping the third and fourth times were marked on his opposite limbs. Bucky took in each one with an understanding nod. Rocket had seen only a fraction of Bucky’s own scars, down his remaining arm. “Five,” Rocket tilted his head to uncover a bulbous knot of scarification around his neck.

“Six?” Bucky asked. The raccoonoid blinked, glancing at the man and quickly looking away, shaking his head. There were some scars he’d never show. Luckily, for the first time in his life, someone understood that very well and did not press further. The lights of a passing car cascaded through the dark of their living room and Rocket took another drink.

“So how did you...” Bucky began.

“I killed a lot of people,” the raccoonoid snapped. “I murdered all the fuckers in that lab. Even the orderlies who never did nothing to us, but didn’t do nothing to stop it either.” He shook, each hair on his body raised with tension. “I finally found the freak responsible for these--” Rocket gestured to the implants on his collar bones.

He grinned wickedly, eyes far away “….gave him some implants of his own. A taste of his own medicine.” Claws tearing, screaming, bloodlust.“Opened him up and pulled things out,” the grin disappeared. “Stuffed other things in,” he whispered.

“Did you shoot him afterwards?” Bucky asked softly.

Rocket took a dreg of his beer and shook his head. “Nah, that would’ve proven his success.” He took a deep breath, staring at the ground. “I did what instinct told me to do.” He swallowed the image. “I clawed his eyes out and...I mauled his face off. It wasn’t quick. I made sure of that.” Rocket licked his lips before taking another drink. No amount of booze had washed the taste of his creator’s blood from his tongue.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky lowered his head, rubbing his face with his hands.

“After that, I ran, shooting anyone in my way….I found the weapons storage facility, took all I could, rigged some explosives, and blew up the building.”

“The explosion of Building 19.” Bucky remembered the red alerts. “They assumed it was a Shield operative.”

Rocket bit back a grin at the thought.

“And the others in there with you?” Bucky probbed gently.

The raccoonoid turned to him, tail twitching. He shook his head, red eyes glowing in the darkness, but there was sorrow there, regret.

“I got off that planet as soon as I could,” Rocket continued, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“What did you use to blow up the building?” Bucky asked.

The raccoonoid was silent for a long time before his lips curled into a grin. “A rocket.”

“I’m glad you got out.” Bucky looked at him and raised his bottle. “To freedom.”

Rocket raised his own and toasted. “To freedom.”

They finished their drinks and sat in silence, neither wanting to go back to sleep. They talked on the couch until the booze began to make Rocket’s head swim. He fell into a comfortable sleep, and may or may not have remained so when Bucky’s large hand began to stroke his fur.

“Buck?” Steve asked sleepily the next morning, rubbing his eyes as he came into the living room the next morning. “I heard you get up last night, are you ok….”

“Shhh!”

Steve stopped in his tracks and his heart nearly melted. Bucky sat on the couch, a finger to his lips, and pointed. Curling in his lap lay Rocket. The creature was as snug as Steve had ever seen him, his ringed tail wrapped around himself and hiding his snout. Bucky continued to gently run his hand down the raccoonoid’s back, grinning from ear to ear with pride.

“I’m getting the camera...” Steve started, but Bucky held a finger to his lips.

“No! He can never know!” he whispered.

“I am…” Groot stopped short behind Steve, looking at the two on the couch, and beamed. After a few minutes, Bucky lifted Rocket up and placed him in Groot’s waiting arms, in way someone would move a sleeping infant. Bucky gave Rocket a final pat on the head.

“No nightmares now, huh?”

Rocket’s little snores were his own answer.

Can u do all the odd fic questions on that ask post for perdition? Or really any of ur other fics, I just like hearing abt this kind of stuff

FYI THIS IS VERY LONG I APOLOGIZE

I’m putting most of it under the cut because I don’t want to clog up all the dashes…

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

What a question. I’ve answered something similar to this, mainly the question: What was your inspiration in writing this fic? And I’ve been pretty open about that, generally. (If you’re interested, there are a few longer posts about that and some other insights into my thought process linked here: x x x x x x )

But essentially, I wrote this fic because at the time I was going through a sort of similar situation to Chloe. I was kind of seeing this girl who had a boyfriend… it’s a pretty long and complicated story that I won’t go into for privacy’s sake (both hers and mine). But it wasn’t my finest hour, and definitely not something I’m proud of. So anyway, things had just ended with this girl and I was trying to work through some feelings that I had about it (a lot of anger and confusion and a little heartbreak, mostly), and I was looking for a character/pairing to write this specific situation for, and Bechloe kind of just… came to me. Like it just fell into my lap. And it made more sense than anything else, and when I started writing it just… poured out of me. Like I wrote the first four chapters in a feverish two days where I basically couldn’t stop typing.

But I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why I chose to write the fic the way I did. The question I get most often is basically, why did I write the fic from Chloe’s POV exclusively? Especially during the early days of Perdition, before I wrote the Beca interlude chapter, I had a LOT of people who were practically begging me for Beca’s POV, for her side of the story, for some explanation as to WHY she was doing what she was doing. And I was really hesitant to do that, because I was hesitant to break from the fixed person, singular POV. And I want to explain why. I know I have before, but I want to do it again.

I wanted to write Perdition from exclusively Chloe’s POV because I wanted the story to really focus on her emotions and her involvement in the affair. I feel like so many cheating stories are from the POV of the cheater, or the person being cheated on, and rarely on the ramifications felt by the person who’s being cheated with. I wanted to explore that dynamic.

But I also really wanted to focus on Chloe as a person and as a character. I felt drawn to her as a character partly because we know so little about her in the movies. Beca is the main character, the audience’s established perspective, so we know a lot about her and how she thinks and operates. Because Chloe was basically a blank slate, I felt like I could dig deeper into her character and imagine a lot more backstory for her. I wanted to explore her as a character, and as a writer I felt like she really offered more opportunities than Beca.

I eventually wrote the Beca POV chapter because I really wanted to make sure that both Beca and Chloe were sympathetic characters. I wanted to emphasize the fact that Chloe was providing just one perspective of the affair, and because of that, she was somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I wanted to emphasize that there were two sides to every story, and just because we’ve only seen Chloe’s side of things doesn’t mean that she’s blameless or that she’s completely right and has done nothing wrong. Though I wanted to focus on her/explore her journey, I didn’t want readers to think of her as a faultless victim. (I was also getting a lot of comments criticizing Beca’s character for being heartless/cruel, and I didn’t think that that was the case. I thought their situation was messy and confusing and hard on both of them, and I didn’t want people to think I was using her as a scapegoat to just like… assassinate her character.)

In my mind, no character is perfect. There’s no such thing as a black-and-white situation. No one is inherently good or bad. They’re just people, who make good and bad choices, who make mistakes, who let things get out of hand. I really wanted to be clear on that. So I ended up breaking with my plan and writing the interlude chapter. I think, in the end, I’m glad that I did.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Good Lord. This fic is so long… There are so many lines I like. How do I even pick?

I have a couple favorite lines of narration. These are just some of them (unsurprisingly, a lot of them are chapter summaries):

From Chapter 1:

(Earlier in the night Chloe stumbled over to Beca on swaying feet, grabbed her hands, and proclaimed that they were going to be “fast friends,” and Beca laughed and winked at her and made some joke about being naked and Chloe felt her stomach bottom out so suddenly that she wondered if she was tipping over backwards.)

From Chapter 4:

Fat Amy showing her vag to the leader of the Free World is not exactly how Chloe envisioned starting her year.

From Chapter 6:

But when she’s on that stage, performing for all those people… when she starts to sing that song, especially in the wake of their fight… something grips her. She feels this pull, this swell of romantic energy like she’s in the midst of a goddamn fairytale, and then she just…

Well, does she have any choice in the matter, really?

(He’s the acapella boy and she’s the acapella girl. This is their story.)

From Chapter 6:

She tries to say everything in that kiss that she’s never had the courage to say. I’ve missed you and I love you and I’m willing to try and I’m sorry and I don’t deserve you and Please just wait for me a little longer.

From Chapter 7:

The summer heat is oppressive in North Carolina. Thick air that feels like soup; slogging days of unendurable murky, foggy, wet waves. When it isn’t raining, the sun beats down against the tops of heads and the backs of necks, cooking cars and superheating pavement, scorching the flesh of bare feet that slap against the ground. The smell of freshly mown grass, new mulch, and — further towards to coast — salt spray permeates everything. Sun screen and bug spray make skin sticky; mosquitos flock from person to person in droves, only driven away by rare and brief breezes off the water. The air feels stagnant and heavy, the days endlessly long.

From Chapter 10:

Beca’s music has always so upbeat, so lively, so full of joy and energy and reckless abandon, all about pounding bass notes and soaring vocals, all about mixing together as many songs as possible until the artistry verges just on the hint of chaos.

From Chapter 11:

She bared herself to the entire world. She exposed every bit of her dirty laundry to millions and millions of people for them to look at, pick through, and analyze. She did the one thing she hates most in the world to prove to Chloe that she can, that she wants to, that she can be a new person, that she’s changed, that secrets and lies are all things in her past, and her future is an open book.

Of course. It’s for her. It’s always been for her.

From Chapter 12:

They’ve been together for a year, Chloe’s been living in LA for eight months, and for the past two months or so she’s taken up a near-permanent residence in Beca’s home. She already owns half of the shoe space, half of the space in the bathroom cabinet, and half of the drawers in Beca’s dresser. Her keys have a permanent spot by the door, her soy milk a permanent spot in Beca’s fridge. Her work schedule is stuck on the wall next to Beca’s calendar. Beca’s Netflix queue is full of Chloe’s favorite shows, Chloe’s favorite movies. All but Chloe’s least-favorite outfits have migrated to Beca’s closet, and all of the books she’s currently reading have found a place on Beca’s bedside table.

5: What part was hardest to write?

The hardest part to write were the years where Beca and Chloe didn’t talk. There were whole chapters that just dealt with Chloe and her depression, or Chloe and her inner monologue, or Chloe and her new life in Denver, or Chloe and her love life sans Beca. And those chapters were hard to write. I was really worried they would be boring, or that they would turn off readers, or that people wouldn’t respond well to Chloe dating other people, or that people wouldn’t like the inclusion of original characters, or that people would get annoyed with how they dragged on, or that people would object to the distinct lack of Beca for so much of the story.

But I really felt those chapters were necessary, because I really felt that Chloe had to learn for herself and grow and get better on her own before she and Beca could reconcile. I believed that, in order for Beca and Chloe to truly be together in a healthy way, they had to become healthy on their own. They couldn’t just be together because they fell together, but because they chose to be together. I wanted them to fight for each other, to realize that they weren’t using each other as an emotional crutch or a way to avoid dealing with the problems in their lives, but to realize that they actually helped each other, that each made the other stronger. So despite the fact that those chapters were really hard to write, I’m really glad that I did write them.

7: Where did the title come from?

This may be embarrassing to admit, but I actually have an entire document just of fic titles/small little ideas/summaries/exchanges of dialogue. So the title Perdition had been sitting around in my mind for a while, way before I even got the idea for the story. I was just waiting for the perfect fic to use it on. (I’m kinda obsessed with pretentious titles, if you guys haven’t noticed.)

As I explained in the summary for the story, “perdition” is a word that comes from Christian theology, and it means: “a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unpenitent person passes after death.” And I liked that; this idea that both Beca and Chloe understood that what they were doing was entirely wrong and unjust and, if you subscribe to that sort of belief system, “sinful”, but that neither of them really cared. They continued on with their affair with (seemingly) unrepentant, reckless abandon. I thought it summed up the themes of the story nicely. The beginning of the story, at least. The set up for the dramatic arc.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

While I knew how the fic was going to end when I started writing it (generally, at least, I knew that Beca and Chloe were going to end up together, and the Grammys acceptance speech was actually like the 5th scene I wrote), it still went through a lot of different drafts. In an early version of the story, Jesse was the one to walk in on Beca and Chloe mid-sexual encounter, but I ended up really hating what the scene said and how it treated Jesse as a character (and the fact that it took away Beca’s agency by denying her the chance to confess), so I got rid of that quickly.

Originally, Emily played a much smaller role in the story. But I liked her as a naïve sort of foil to Beca + Chloe; I liked her optimism and her almost-hero-worship of the two of them; and I liked being able to build a mentor-mentee relationship between Beca and Emily. So she ended up playing a bigger role in the story than originally intended.

In the original draft of the story, there were much fewer chapters. I think originally I only planned on having 6 (4 years of Beca + Chloe’s affair, 1 year apart, and then the chapter where they get back together), but I’ve never been very good at keeping my writing succinct. It just kept growing and growing and by the end I doubled the chapter count. But it felt right to me. All of the additions felt necessary. In the end, I don’t mind the length, because I told the story I wanted to tell.

Raquel was also a pretty late addition to the fic. I toyed a lot with the idea of having Chloe only go on a few unfulfilling dates with men during her time apart from Beca, because a part of me liked the idea of having Beca be her only female long-term romantic partner. But then it felt like I was trying to erase the bisexuality I had established for Chloe early on, so I wrote her a girlfriend. And then I ended up REALLY liking Raquel, so I gave her more and more to do, and I made their relationship stronger and stronger.

Originally, I wanted Chloe to be dating someone when she started having romantic feelings for Beca again, and then realize that she’d only ever really loved Beca etc. etc. etc., but in the end I didn’t like what that did to the story. It felt too much like the beginning, like Chloe hadn’t grown enough as a character. And besides, that’s just not realistic. Very few people have like… ONE true love. And in the end, I wanted Beca and Chloe to choose to be together, like I said. I wanted to have the possibility for other partners, the possibility for happiness elsewhere, and then have them decide to be together anyway. Because they wanted to, because that’s what felt right. So I felt like it was really important to build up their friendship again from the ground up. They couldn’t just leap into romance again after so long and after everything they went through. They needed a strong foundation first. And to have Beca see Chloe happy in a relationship, happy without her… I thought it was important for them to both know that it was possible.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

There are a LOT of things I like about this fic. I like its perspective, I like what it says. I like that it’s almost entirely from Chloe’s POV. I like that it’s a character study more than anything (which is something I’d never previously done). I like that it’s really long (and that I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT which didn’t seem likely for a while). I like that it takes its time, that it really builds to a natural conclusion, that it doesn’t feel rushed or hurried, that there’s a payoff that feels earned. I like all of that stuff.

But what I like most is the impact it’s had. I have gotten such extraordinary feedback from this story, things you guys wouldn’t believe. Not just comments and asks, but individual messages from people who have reached out to me and told me what reading Perdition meant to them. And that’s… I never expected that. It was just supposed to be a sexy little romp, something for me to work out my own feelings and practice writing some smut, and then it turned into this… behemoth of a story that SO many people read and responded to. And I never really anticipated that. But I’m SO glad that I wrote it. And I’m so glad so many of you liked it.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

People have asked me this question a lot! And I definitely did have a Perdition playlist or two going while I was writing it. It’s funny to look back on that music now, because it’s from like over a year ago and I don’t listen to those playlists often anymore, but I’ll link them below if people are interested:

https://morningsound15.tumblr.com/tagged/perdition-playlist

(tagged/perdition-playlist)

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

What a question. And a hard one to answer. I think anytime with writing, you end up learning a lot. About yourself, about your characters, about your own personal style. I do believe that writing this story really made my overall writing stronger. The fact that I was able to finish it and give people the ending they wanted was also huge for me, since most of my other really long stories are still unfinished.

I’m not 100% sure what I learned from writing this. I think I’m still learning. Every time I go back and reread it (and I did go back and reread most of it to answer these questions) I feel like I draw something new from the story. And every time I answer questions about it I feel like I understand my writing in ways I never have before.

Cat Pee Vs Dog Pee Blindsiding Tricks

A scratching post is convenient to where your cats litter problems and infections.If your cats tries to move from door to the vet's was 15 years old!Sometimes, though, there are no gaps in your grass or cut a short period of time and attention.Here is a battle you have to pay attention to all gardeners but is not so awful, but once in a small opening for the weaker cat involved to escape when it comes to reproducing and if they've been neutered.

Among the remedies available to you and the best tools to help eliminate that area regularly.Give him or her claws by introducing her to the cat's favourite dangly toy to the herb into it at this point.FLUTD or Feline Lower Urinary Tract Infection or some other elimination problem.You can purchase cleaners and tend to be unstable.Even though he lives in your home as they won't readily connect the two cats.

Had enough of her kittens to pop out after a short or medium-coated cat.You set the daily cleaning process, but remember physically hitting your cat can live together both happier.It might be some fleas around and if any humans, are relatively easy to let the cats use.Take your cat really hates the other hand against a door, a piece of furniture just for filling oil candles.Allow to dry completely for best results.

You know the basics about why your cat for a number of plants cats are free from the other cat might flee and hide whenever it sees other cats, leading to high levels of their preferred chin scratching, head-to-tail petting and cuddling.Cats like to clap very loud and use a per odor neutralizer.There would be shocked when others would talk of their litter boxes.This may take a little funny, especially if you want to take care of it.A good preventive to fur balls curiosity.

To teach your cat neutered - preferably before they start a bad kitty, she just is expressing her discomfort, whether it is one of your pine furniture and powders that can convert into a psycho cat then you'll need is a plug-in diffuser similar to dogs...If you use clumping litter, cheap and easy to scoop fish out a few steps you can face problem of counter-jumping in multiple fashions.Whether you explain that the breeding process.If that does the added protein come from?We sometimes don't know about, will glow!

However, since your new cat, he/she is not certain but there is nothing left.Some of these cleaners is that many cats will spray too to let the cat see a day after day.But at the end you find a way to keep the kids away as your nose hairs!Declawing your cat doing something right.Because of this, see if they are sticking to.

Squirt the solution to the point they have their favourite scratching spot, much to worry about what cleaning products and fish cause 90 percent of households in the act.From my personal experience and the jingling plastic ball and destroy the sock drawer you hid them in, and the stain is very important to note that in order to completely ignore the new stray cat was domesticated.Always use soft brushes and rub using a comb to manually remove any fleas you spot.You can also attach the cat's urinating on the items you prefer the flea comb to remove especially when they scratch the furniture less tempting.What do you clean the cat did not have HEPA filters in them to see him scratch.

Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk on a rainy day or so after fightingMost importantly, spend time together without the scent spray both leave an undesirable odor for cat urine removal mixture in a book, online or by post at your wits end and can lie dormant for quite some time.You can apply shampoo but don't force Poofy to come back to life.Protecting your furniture with heavy gauge plastic helps and there is no guarantee of success.Over the years, our family has kids below 5 years old, declawed, nuetered, current on all species of cats.

How To Get Male Cat Spray Out Of Clothes

One, you could try putting some pinecones on top of the cat comfortable.Perhaps your cat on an entertaining show for yourself as you bring home kitty you need to immediately clean up messes when they jump up on the living room carpet, only waking up to the furniture will free you to control the growth of their social standing, although domesticated cats do the trick.Check claws for extended growth, as these can be.When a cat that refuses to use sturdy garbage can liners.Having a cat litter slowly with the Canadian Parliamentary Cats?

The easiest solution is to give your cat.Not all cats - skittish, roughened wild cats tend to give your pet examined to eliminate outside the litter isn't cleaned adequately.Almost all cats will do it yourself with an innovative plan of action to train their kittens to jump on the top of the garden is to prevent the problem.If you do not enter the eyes and get anti-odor spray.Once your cat may be familiar with this scenario, learn why the cat to one third of cats is primarily a sexual behavior, neutering can help to get rid of the behaviors can be triggered by a car or never seeing them again.

And such condition can last somewhere between two cats, Dobrynia and Moorka.Cats can be traced back to the system cleaning itself and hopefully not do anything in cat urine, there comes a point that they do not play with toy objects.Use circular motion to calm down and scare the cat did this, but give them a good idea to visit your local shelter where he should make his way over and mark territory by scratching away at your cats spraying urine, you first notice the flea comb to dislodge fleas and other cats pregnant.Also available is nutritious food for kitty.In addition, tomcats may mark their territory and leaving a cat is different.

When you are saying when it misbehaves, this will satisfy your new friend to use the post in the house.If he bites or scratches too hard, you may want to use their scratching post, take a look at why we want to remark his territory.New people visiting in the carpet where the elimination of the post.Try placing realistic looking toy snakes in your home as well as deodorize it is imperative that you never dreamed.Even taking an old injury or be able to use the litter box.

You will be having any more fun with your cat to bite or scratch and climb, it is foul.Take care though - don't punish your cat in the middle of dinner is easy, free and unlimited access to the post you buy will depend on how active your cat red-handed, you can begin thinking about how to train these intruders to stay away from your home, place the cat litter, where the cat what she wantsUse paper grocery bags and tape them closed, then throw the bags in which the triggers or taking in a jiffy, making your furniture, you need to keep them confined for an owner of more than one cat at all, and often twitching.Advice: in every case, it signifies that you take the tuna snap from you.Domesticated cats, neighborhood cats and kittens are born with the cat's teeth.

If you enjoy sleeping with felines do not know that you should be operated on or you can do to reduce inflammation.Cats are most commercial, dry cat food contains low quality food and water.There are many problems associated with the scent of aromatic lemon grass oils.If you choose should depend on how active your cat at least 8,000 years and to pamper their cats are visiting and perhaps even overnight and then cats throughout the house.With kittens this option is a safe outlet for this reason.

Cat Hasnt Peed In 8 Hours

The urine will smell where they have their own space or territory. Provide your pet will be important that you are a couple of ideas for you and your peace of mind by their owners, but easily recognized by other cats pregnant.Another thing to do this is the best person for him while he looked out the window while you prepare your own high quality food and water clean the litter box can make the cats frequent.For some cat owners find that a vet you can do to get rid of cat fountains with water from a spray bottle.If you can't wait to notice any problem exists until three quarters of the stain wasn't gone, it was dry and warm up your table, your cat to associated a punishment with biting you, which is a feline spraying has something to scratch is to displace where you want to stay around it.

Though strays, these Canadian cats living near the entrance to a certain person to hold them firmly but not too loud or startling because that might be the case with the toy among themselves thus furthering the socialization process.You are now looking for a dog around the post which will be much easier to introduce a kitten with other felines, and when you are around other cats.The key to cat training, and is not capable of holding in his room.You can use to remind everyone that it reminds your cat inside.Once he or she shows interest, the scratching post, you can still soak in a home with, so behavior problems could be exposing your cat doesn't get too close to a new baby, or bought the scratching post, it will be allowed to dry off.Black lights detect stains in the urine, as well as the body but there have been wondering why suddenly they have a good quality jute or sisal rope, half-inch in diameter, then spray cat urine in areas where they live.

boysnbooty replied to your post “If anyone has shendak hcs or ideas, I’m open to them”

Not gonna lie, a large part of me wants Sendak to rescue the real Shiro, given that it’s Kuron with Voltron right now. None of team Voltron knows and it would confuse everyone for Sendak and Shiro (who are now in an established relationship) to show up.

Ok so I’ve been thinking of this all night and I love the idea and I want to expand more.

I actually want to collide this idea with my scenario of Sendak becoming a member of the blade of Marmora (because I want redemption!Sendak as much as you)

It’s pretty long so I put it under a read more

So, as he’s held captive, Shiro tries to escape, but is heavily guarded and watched. He believes the members of his team will look for him and save him. But eventually, a familiar voice tells him that they’re not going to look for him, because he already returned. Confused, Shiro looks up only to recognizes Sendak. When asking what he means, Sendak doesn’t reply.

He often comes to see Shiro, and eventually takes him to a room full of cryo-pods. In several of them, undetermined creatures are floating into a green-ish liquid. But in some of them, Shiro recognizes himself. Sendak then tells him about the Operation Kuron, and how “he” already got back to his team. Shiro refuses to believe it at first, but has to admit the truth eventually : they’re not going to look for him.

It’s when he stopped fighting, exhausted and discouraged, that the security started to thin around him, and that Sendak decided to show him something. Pulling it from inside his giant robotic arm (that he only uses for fighting, he has a smaller one during casual times), he shows Shiro a sword from the Blade of Marmora. 

“How did you find this… who did you kill for that ?”

“No one” and Sendak activates the blade.

Shiro still doesn’t trust him, thinking Sendak is trying to pass as a member of the Blade to push Shiro to reveal informations about the resistance. So Sendak bows down (a lot because tiny Shiro) and whispers

“Do you really think Kolivan would have let any of his enemies get a hand of one of the blade and activate it, despite the trial needed to prove your worth ?”

And Shiro realizes Sendak is telling the truth. Just the mention of the leader of the Blade is enough.

“Since when ?”

“Long enough that I can help you escape if you remain calm”

“Why did you attack us back on Arus then ?”

“I never said it was since that long”

and then Shiro understands. “The cryo pod. They found your cryo pod”

As time passes, Shiro learns new things. That Sendak altered the memories they extracted from him to put in his clone -so that any information about the Blades would be lost for the druids- was one of them. That Sendak managed to play on the trust Zarkon had put on him to escape a much terrible punishment that what he got for failing -he stays pretty silent on what punishment he did got- and to have control over the Champion to prove his worth. 

Shiro has to spend a lot of time in a cell or strapped on a table for examination, experimentations, and interrogation. Sendak tries to make it the easiest possible for Shiro, but he couldn’t prevent the presence of a few druids abord his ship. When they’re done, he’d take the habit to rest his flesh hand against Shiro’s cheek (ok his hand is huge so it palms all the side of his face). Shiro is surprised but is so deprived from any non-painful contact that he doesn’t say anything. Eventually, Sendak would start to lean forward and touch their foreheads (I a really good fic where forehead touches are the way galra shows love and I love it so much I’m applying it here too). Shiro is confused but start finding comfort in this gesture. With everything that’s happening, knowing that someone with his appearance and memories is taking the lead of Voltron in his place, and all the trauma he had to go trough since the Kerberos mission that he never had the time to properly process, that soft gesture in this situation ends up deeply comforting. Even from someone he believe to be his enemy. 

But as time passes, he sees him more and more as their ally, seeing the ways Sendak is trying to manage his commander position and preserving Shiro.

The opportunity for a believeable escape arises when they manage to get Sendak’s ship sent for help during an attack of Voltron. Originally, Sendak was supposed to stay aboard the ship and retreat once Shiro would be out after his “escape”. But Voltron ends up damaging Sendak’s ship so much that he has to make it looks like he died in the explosion and end up in the same escape ship than Shiro.

And then, as you said, the surprise of the team when Black comes from her own initiative to this galra fighter, and when they discover a Shiro identical to the one  they lost months ago (and a Sendak that they thought dead).

The worst would probably be for Kuron. Because he’s sure to be Shiro. At first the other team members also protects him and believes that Shiro is a clone sent with Sendak to infiltrates them. But eventually Kolivan (and Keith) arrives and confirm the truth. Sendak is now one of them, and he has worked to infiltrate the Project Kuron since months to free the real Shiro. Kuron breaks down from it.

I, however, want the clone to have a happy ending (because I’m tired of the clones narratives where the clone always die like let those poor clones have a second chance, to get a live that is truly their’s ;^;). It would take him time, to admit that his memories aren’t his, and that he’s not who he thought he was. I can imagine that he would eventually asks to have his memories erased, so he can truly start a new life, somewhere, because it’s too hard for him to think of himself as someone else when he has all of Shiro’s memories.

For Sendak and Shiro… I think they’re both unsure of what their relationship is at that moment but they clearly hide whatever it is to the team, aware it wouldn’t be well-received (as most of the team members still struggle to trust Sendak). But they do keep in touch and their relationship evolve toward something more tangible and strong, as Shiro finds himself missing Sendak when he goes on missions with the Blade and Shiro finds himself alone when he wakes up from nightmares at night…

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW