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astoryisaloveaffair · 2 days

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Fix You - Chapter 16 - Genesis

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader

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Read on A03

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Chapter Summary: 🤷‍♀️

Word Count: 4K

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: cussing, graphic violence, mentions of sex. I'm not giving more warnings than that, sorry.

A/N: Hey all. First I want to say I'm sorry. I literally had no time or motivation to write this. I'm gonna be honest, this is a really tough chapter, and it was hard to get in this headspace. Suffering a recent heartbreak, things in this chapter are things I have thought also, and so it was really hard for me to voluntarily want to address that. I also started working in veterinary medicine, i do not have the spare time that I used to. We also recently adopted a puppy who we named Bucky! And if you read my earlier posts, you know that I was SA'd last January. All that to say, sorry I couldn't do this faster.

Also want to wish a happy birthday to @musings-of-a-rose, my beloved, my bestie, and my constant support. This is for you. Sorry it's not a happier chapter....

* If a character is speaking fully in Spanish, I will put “[ ]” around the dialogue. I speak pretty decent Spanish but not good enough for this

Suggested Songs: "Exile" Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver, "I Love You" Billie Eilish, "Vampire" and "Logical" by Olivia Rodrigo, "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron and Phoebe Bridgers, "Genesis" by Grimes

You didn’t even flinch at the landing, which was rough, so that’s saying a lot. When the janky cargo door (which looked like at any time during the flight would be ripped right off) opens, you barely even lift your eyes from the floor. You felt heavy and hollow, somewhere suspended in between shock and just not giving a fuck anymore. The only thing you could still fell was the pinching in your heart. It was still broken.

At some point during the journey, the co-pilot had taken pity on you and untied your arms from behind your back and bound them in front of you instead. You hadn’t struggled. There was no point. Where would you go? Jump in the ocean? You weren’t that great of a swimmer and you loved sharks and everything but the open ocean is not where you are supposed to be.

You have no sense of space and time, so you have no actual clue where you are other than not the mainland. You’re dehydrated as fuck, groggy, your vision’s blurry and you’d figured out the sticky moisture on your face was your own blood.

Because when you had suddenly blacked out it was because they’d hit you, and had absolutely no hesitation doing so. They did not care about you, they did not see you as a human being, they didn’t even bother strapping you into a seat so you had been sliding around the cargo bay the entire flight, bumping into everything. You were in deep danger, any hope that you would have some ransom protection had pretty much disintegrated. You had hoped that the boys wouldn’t come for you at first. Then you had hoped that they would, because if you’re ransom, even if at the very least you’d be alive until then, right? But “alive” doesn’t mean unharmed.

A shadow looms over you and it finally makes you look up, squinting to adjust your eyes to something so close, as well as the brightness of the sun. It feels like it takes you 10 whole minutes to process that you were being spoken to in English.

“Eh!” The man leaning over you snips, and when you simply blink in confusion and don’t answer, he slaps you lightly on both cheeks. You’re stunned enough to finally look at him, his oval face, beady eyes and unique sideburns seeming so familiar to you but quite frankly you wouldn’t trust yourself with recognizing even your dad at the moment, so you push that thought aside.

He kneels down in front of you. “You listen to me. We don’t want you. We want the money. This means if you don’t fucking piss me off, I might be nice and not kill you, you understand? Be a smart little girl, eh?.”

You nod, you probably should be feeling some sort of panic setting in but you don’t. Whatever. Who even cares anymore.

He takes your silence as submission. “Bueno.” He whispers, leaning down and grabbing you by the arm, lifting you until you are back on your feet. He tilts his head and steps to the side, revealing 5 additional men with AKs pointed straight at you. From behind, you feel the sharp tip of another poking your back, urging you forward and down the precarious ramp. The pilots.

You didn’t trust that they wouldn’t hurt you, but you knew you had no other choice. Trying to fight was asking for it, and once you step out of the hold and realize you were in the fucking jungle, there would be no sensical place to go even if you did get away.

You step out of the plane onto a rickety steel ramp that bounces as the footpad of your sandals touches it and shuffle slowly down it. You feel suffocated sandwiched between four men, your hands chafe where they are tied and you have been in the same positions for so long your whole body is sore. Every touch and movement hurt.

You stumble as the ramp ends but one of the men grabs your arm and yanks you so you don’t fall. It wasn’t kindness. It was a way to hurt you that he could get away with. The tiny dirt landing strip is almost canopied completely by the jungle trees, leaving large patches here and there where the plane flew through, not noticeable from far above. It looks like you’re walking to nothing, just a dirt road that ends right into the thick middle of the jungle, but you don’t stop at the edge. You push through.

It’s hot as shit and you felt sweat buildup in every crevice of your body, your thighs are rubbing raw from your asinine decision to wear short shorts to the fair, and you could feel a heat rash growing under your tits that you couldn’t even scratch because your hands are bound.

You walk for forever. You walk until the friction rash on your inner thighs turn to lesions. You haven't drank water in almost 48 hours and it feels like 150 degrees out, with full humidity. You’ve had to stop twice already to vomit from heat exhaustion and you still occasionally gag even though there’s nothing in your stomach to come up anymore. All the years that you did not appeal to insects are making up for it now, they’re all over you and you can’t walk 3 steps without one getting in your eye. The jungle gets tighter and you can’t breathe because it’s pushing in on you almost as tight as the hands on your shoulders pushing you forward..

You start crying. At least, that is what you tell yourself as you whimper and sob as quietly as you can. You know you’re strong, but this is just beyond reason that any normal person could take. And when you think about how this is probably what life was all the time in Delta for the boys, you cry even harder because you feel guilty, that you have no right to complain.

Finally, after what feels like forever, the tightness of the jungle seems to loosen. More open. You notice some of the trees look more oddly arranged than others. As you get closer you realize they aren’t trees at all, but tents and dilapidated buildings built into the shadows of the trees. The huge roots and overhanging canopy of the jungle transformed a bustling camp into what looks like a little village. At the entrance, a line of guards in jungle fatigues that were impossible to detect until you got right up to them. You hear someone speak above you, alerting you to a man up in the trees on a platform tucked between the branches. There was another in the tree on the opposite side. He calls to the man with the sideburns, saying something in Spanish you can’t interpret fast enough, but it’s jovial and they laugh, and it makes you feel like you’re going to go mentally insane.

It’s like it’s not even serious to them. And it’s so serious to you.

You are pushed through the camp quickly, but not quick enough that you don’t see the insane amount of cocaine packages piled up in the makeshift buildings, sheds, and tents toward the back. Men were milling about checking them, moving them and glaring at you as you walked past.

You continue past the main camp, crossing over a bustling creek whose bridge was literally just planks of wood, but you noticed there were tire marks across them so you felt at least safe it could handle a car’s weight. Across the creek, an old stonework manor stood. You can tell at one time it must have been glorious, but the white stone-worked walls were dirty and crumbling in many places, the fountains out front had dried crusty palm fronds and dirt in them and looked like they hadn’t sprayed water since the 1980s.

It was still oddly beautiful. You thought about how this house came to be, what it might have looked like when it had been first built. A beautiful Caribbean sea mansion. A jungle that hadn’t closed in on it yet. Fountains spraying and colorful birds resting on the rooftops. But then you realize that this place has probably always been used for what it is now. Someone like Carl Lehder probably lived here and ran an entire cartel within this very jungle. Maybe it was the same one, just run by someone else.

There was a shabbily made shack to the left of the manor with padlocks, piles of debris piled next to the door. You assume that’s where you would be taken, but you were instead led up the stairs to the manor proper. And as your eyes focus in on the ground while you were being guided to the mansion instead, you realize the heap of matter by the shack that you thought was some dying plantation was actually a crumpled human body. A boy looking not much older than 17, shot execution style in the head and left to rot.

Then smell hits you, your knees buckle and you vomit on the stonework stairs, a scream of shock and realization pierces the jungle, making the nearby tropical birds explode from the treetops. When the sicarios pick you up and carry you through the mansion door, you’re still screaming.

Eventually whoever was carrying you became fed up, and simply dropped you at the bottom of the stairs and dragged you up backwards by the armpits instead. You didn’t even feel the step edges hitting the small of your back all the way up, but you would later.

You were tossed stricken and shivering on a disgusting, top-sheeted mattress on the floor in the corner of a room, your feet still bound together and your rope-bound hands looped through a radiator that was long enough only for you to lie down or shuffle over to a bucket for your business. Everything stank and you still had vomit on your chin so you curled up in a ball and slammed your eyes closed, hoping that in time the voices and smells and fear would give way to just simple numbness. You didn’t hear a female voice speaking to you for several seconds.

Your eyes snap open, skin pulled taut from dried unwiped tears,and you jolt upright to look in the direction of the voice. A woman who wasn’t even tied up was propped up against the adjoining wall, and as you take in her condition you could understand why they hadn’t even bothered. She wouldn’t have been able to run.

Her legs look..wrong, splaying at angles that shouldn’t be possible. They look like they could be broken, but you can’t tell for sure because she was wearing jeans that cover up most of her skin. The jeans were ripped in some places and stained with dark blood spots, the color turning brighter wherever her skin shows through the tears in the fabric. She’s missing several fingers on her left hand that had been burnt at the ends to cauterize, and her face was black and blue, swollen and smeared with more blood that seemed to be coming from her scalp somewhere. Her lips are pale and cracking and her eyes are glazed over and barely open. When she speaks, she already sounds like she is dead.

She swallows and winces slightly in pain, then licks her cracked pale lips.“Is…my…her–my brother. Did you see him? Out there?”

Your face scrunches in confusion, which actually hurts a little and you’re not sure from what specifically. Perhaps you look just as bad as the other girl. “Your–I—I don’t understand.”

She’s too exhausted to even be annoyed with you. “My brother. They took him from me days ago. They do not talk to me anymore. They don’t—need me anymore.” A single tear falls down her swollen cheek and you suddenly feel so much connection with this woman and how incredibly fucking strong she is. Her eyes roll over to you, meeting yours for the first time. There are burst blood vessels in them.

“I think that they killed him.”

Your lips part and you utter a shuddering breath as you connect the dots. There’s no point in sugar-coating it. You nod slowly. “I think so. But it’s not…recent.” You look away as her eyes slowly close, the additional tears she was holding back finally spilling over and cascading down her cheeks.

“Bueno.” She says. “Then at least he is not suffering like me.”

You both fall quiet and you look over her again. Her pants aren’t completely done up and her t shirt is ripped at the neckline, exposing a gashed shoulder. Almost like…

You start crying again, and you feel even worse about it this time because you have in front of you a woman who has been through much worse and is somehow NOT crying. You curl tighter into yourself to try and hide.

But she simply asks. “Who are you?”

You swallow, raising your head up off your arms, quickly wiping the access tears off on your sleeve. It’s incredible how adrenaline and fear can sometimes make you the most clear-headed you’ve ever been. Your thoughts are swirling but you knew one thing for damn sure, if they didn’t know your name yet, you weren’t going to say it now.

If I look forward I am lost. Focus on right now. Nothing else. It’s my best chance.

You know enough about trauma that compartmentalizing this moment is your best chance. You can’t think what will happen if you don’t escape, if you aren’t found, if they never come for you. You need to stay focused. You need to keep hope alive. You need to stay coherent, because if a chance pops up, you need to be able to think quickly.

“I’m no one.” You mumble. “Just happened to be dating the wrong person.”

She sniffs and looks away, but it’s muffled because her nose sounds congested. You don’t miss her tone though. “Mmmm. His new one then.”

You blink. “What?”

Her glazed over, discolored eyes snap back to yours. “Pope.” She spits. “Your man. Santia—”

“NO!” You cut her off with a shout, you know there is a guy who is in the area and you still don’t know how much these men do or do not know. “Don’t. Don’t give them names if they don’t already know it.”

“I don’t give a shit about Agent Garcia, or his friends, or anyone else, it’s their fault I am here and it’s their fault my brother is dead and..” She finally, finally starts to cry. “I told him I didn’t want to do it. They said they would let us go if we gave them what they wanted.”

“It was you.” You exhale with a shuddering breath. “They found us cause of you. You told them.” You shake your head, and for some reason you feel betrayed by this woman even though you’ve never met her. “How could you?”

“Because all I care about is my brother, do you understand?! I wish I’d never met him, Garcia, we would have just snuck away and no one would never seen us, but no, instead we listened to him and helped them steal from fucking Lorea, and now they found us and I knew they would, and YES, I gave them EVERYTHING because they said they’d let us go so long as they found you and–”

“Eh!” A voice trails in with a watchman you knew was hanging out somewhere in the hallway beyond. He slips through the doorway, a smaller man you were not expecting from that voice, and leans against the deteriorating door frame. He crosses his arms and his legs and it makes the handgun on his hip jut out prominently from his skinny hips. “No talking to each other.” His voice is silky and the words all slide together so it sounds like ‘no talkintoeeachother.’

You shrink back into the dirty wall behind you as your associate spits a bloody phlegm ball in the man’s direction. “FUCK you!” She snarls, a tirade of cuss words in Spanish flying from her lips.

A loud pop almost bursts your eardrums and your heart and you exclaim in terror as your associate is shot point blank in the head, her back slumping against the wall and her head hitting with a bang, pieces of blood and brain tissue spraying over the back wall with pieces flying in your direction.

The man remains completely motionless with his arms still raised before huffing a laugh to himself, putting the gun back on his hip, and looking at you with the such an unaffected gaze it leaves you feeling dizzy and you scream and scream and scream yourself hoarse, crumpling onto your mattress in a terrified heap, arms over your head, sobbing hysterically.

A gentle but firm palm wraps around your forearm, yanking you back up to a seated position. You look away, but the man’s other hand takes you gently by the jaw and makes you look at him. And just behind him, the woman slumped in a pool of blood and brain matter. You try to wriggle out of his grip but he tightens ever so slightly, and you can’t help but notice how different it is when Frankie would grab you like that versus this man. Frankie held you the same, sometimes harder, but you had trusted his domination and his care of you and because of that, it made it arousing. That same motion with this man has you more scared than you ever have been in your life.

“Bebita.” He coos, thumb lightly caressing your jaw. He wipes at a small speck of blood you don’t know is even there. You can feel yourself shaking and breathing so fast you can see his half waxed back tousled locks that hang past his temples are blowing in its breeze. You can’t answer him. “Look at me.”

You do. His eyes are a dark, almost black chocolate brown, shape mismatched, a scruffy beard and goatee and thin lips. In another world you would find him devastatingly attractive and the fact that you do makes you feel absolutely violated and disgusted with yourself.

“Do not cry.” He continues. “You have no reason to if you behave, si? You be good and you listen and I will keep you safe you understand? Well, at least for now.” He shifts closer to you, you can smell his breath. It smells like orange and cloves. “There are a lot of men here Bebita. I am sure you understand what this means, si? Answer me.”

“Yes.” A final fat tear spills from one of your eyes, and it stings as it mixes with your sweat and the raw skin around your eyes.

He juts his head in the other woman’s direction. “This one, she fight the whole time. I like a easy job. Make my job easy, I make sure you always deal with me. Do not make me call in the other guys, they are not as nice. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He releases your chin and you scoot back quickly as he saunters over to the other woman’s bloody body, grabs it by the arm, and casually drags her as dismissively as possible out the door and out of your sight, leaving a bloody trail behind.

At first you just sit there in a slump staring at the opposite wall,, you don’t know for how long. Probably hours. Maybe days. The man, whose name you figured out from when he spoke to someone else in the hall, is Angel. Sometimes he would sit up and watch you, as if figuring you out, your body and the way you shift and switch positions when you are uncomfortable, what it looked like when you were crying and trying to keep quiet and unnoticed. But most of the time he ignored you. Occasionally others would come into the room and either speak to him or approach you, but upon noticing Angel watching them they would hiss or spit a curse and slink off.

The room reminded you of those old houses from the 70s that had those drafty unfinished basements that were simply concrete floors, painted stucco or white brick. To the sicarios, it served as an overflow area, there was a rotting desk along the side wall with a metal folding chair and piles of scattered papers and random household tools on them. Against the opposite side wall was a pretty nice tv, considering, which was always playing soccer. Angel seemed to make that his home base, his lithe frame sprawled across a grandma-fabric sofa, head resting on one of the puffy arm rests. He binge-smoked cigarettes and his right hand was always stretched over his head resting against his forehead in the direction of to an end table with an massive overflowing porcelain ashtray on it. You didn’t used to mind the smell of cigarettes too much but now it makes you feel sick.

You’re ashamed of how little you actually think about your current situation and like the hopeless romantic idiot you are, mostly all you can think about is Frankie. The things he said–you knew he said mean things when he was mad, or things he didn’t mean, but isn’t there always some truth to things that are said in the heat of the moment? That was enough for you to silently spiral. You thought about every memory you had of him and how it could be viewed through the lens that Frankie just wanted to fuck you. Your self confidence was low enough it was believable, and your mind races through every instance of an older man being in a relationship with someone much younger and how of course it was predatory, and how could you not see it, that you didn’t have anything in common? It’s a tale as old as time. He just wanted to fuck you, he wanted to fuck you and dominate you, his dark desires seducing you into feeling so wanted you can’t believe you thought he loved you and didn’t see right through it.

And his friends, well, they were all in on it weren’t they, because why would they want to hang out with someone like you either? Why would men such as that actually want to be friends with you when you have never experienced half of what they have.

Fuck him. Fuck him and his lying ass, he was a fucking loser addict and you’re pissed at yourself for even considering him. Like how lonely were you?? To choose an old man with a kid who served in an institution that represented everything you hated about this country? To be so easily blinded by pretty words and love bombs to immediately take your clothes off. Because how, if he actually loved you or even like you, could he possibly have lied about something so big?! Or bought you something nice with all that fucking drug money he stole. Not that you’d want it or expected it, but why wouldn’t you want to treat someone you love as much as he claimed to?

How could he sit there and make up what happened to Tom like that, when you were being so coddling and trying to be a caring ear. And Benny…Pope...if they were your friends they should have told you, that’s what real friends do…

But they weren’t your friends. They were never your friends.

And if you went the other way, and considered that it was all true, that he did love you, that they were all your friends, and that he lied to you and threw stones to hurt you and push you away, how was that any better? You couldn't even think about a future not being with him, but obviously he could. He could watch you cry and question him and not even look at you, completely ignore you, then not even think about you again. No texts, no calls. No “I’m sorry, please come back.” Silence.

How could it be so easy for him? How can he just go about his life like you never happened? Why did you still care?

Why did you still want him?

Why did you still love him so so much. Part of you wishes they’d get on with it and just kill you. At least then you wouldn’t have to feel this excruciating pain. You wouldn’t have to see him show up to rescue you because he has to, to have to see his fucking face and every line, crinkle, scar, the bald patch in his beard and the tousled little curls that pop out of his hat…only for him to save you and then leave again, or die and then you have the guilt of killing a man who no longer loved you.

Yea. You think you’d rather die.

You feel like you’re going to throw up again. You’d let him force his cock in your mouth as far as it could go, let him tie you up and fuck you hard enough to leave bruises you had thought of as a badge of honor. You’d let him cum on your face. You’d let him fucking cum inside you! He’d gaslit you so you actually wanted him to tie you up with zip ties—-

Your heart almost stops. You can picture how his face looked exactly when he said it.

Sometimes rope can give over time.

That’s why we always used zip ties.

You look down at your bound hands.

They’re bound with rope.

#fix you fic #triple frontier fanfic #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales x you #frankie catfish morales x reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic

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icantlivewithoutdreaming · 2 days

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Hello there!

I’m here cause I’ve just woken up and I need to talk to y’all about the dream I’ve had about the series finale.

On Tuesday (before ep 14 aired) I dreamed that everyone died on Tantiss and I was a mess (the Kiner’s cryptic tweet messed with my psyche).

Some things are slipping away from me, but I swear it was SO GOOD.

The dream starts with CX-2. He is at Tantiss and there is a clone rebellion going on. I don’t know if Rex got there with some of the boys, but the place is a mess.

He realises that there is something he needs to do, so he grabs Scorch and Wolffe and takes them to the top of the mountain.

There, he is having an identity crisis and he is trying to explain to them that they are working with the bad guys. Wolffe and Scorch don’t understand so CX-2 removes his helmet…

It’s Tech.

At that moment, in the middle of a panic attack, Omega and Hunter reach the top and they see him. I don’t know why, but I think that’s the only way they can escape Tantiss.

Omega starts crying and Hunter is frozen.

No one moves.

Wrecker arrives.

Then Echo.

And finally Cross.

No one moves.

When Cross sees him he starts crying, apologising. If he had known that Tech had been on Tantiss all this time, he would have never left him behind.

Everyone is too shocked to do something, but at that moment Hemlock (I don’t know how but he is on an Imperial Cruiser, same as Rampart in season 1) starts bombarding Tantiss.

Hunter reacts first. He can feel it coming. He grabs Omega and Tech and hugs them.

Wrecker moves next. He embraces the three of them.

Echo gets to them as well. Then Cross.

They all hug while Tantiss shakes, explosions all around them…

And I “wake up”.

(I know this may seem like an awful ending… but wait because there is more. I’m still dreaming, though at the moment I thought that I wasn’t.)

I “wake up” and I’m extremely happy because I realise 3 things:

1. We were not Delulu. Tech’s alive and we got him back.

2. The episode was 89 minutes long.

3. That can’t possibly be the ending. That’s a cliffhanger and they are about to announce season 4.

I get up, prepare breakfast and my sister comes home. I start crying and telling her about the finale (she is not a star wars fan, hasn’t even watched the movies, but I’m a mess and I need to tell her how the season ended).

She starts recording me while I sob and talk about the season finale and I think: this is nice cause then I can post my reaction online so that I interact with all of you, cause it’s impossible that I’m the only one having meltdown.

That’s when I wake up, for real.

And I realise that:

It’s Friday.

The episode hasn’t aired.

My sister hasn’t recorded me.

And Tech’s gone.

(I won’t give up on him. There is one more episode to go).

I needed to write this down as soon as I woke up cause I was going to forget everything.

I hope that at least I entertained you.

4 days and 20 hours to go.

LET’S GO.

(That group hug cleansed my soul. I swear. You had to be there 😂😂😂😂).

Love y’all. Interacting with you is the best part of this journey. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#the bad batch #star wars #tbb tech #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tech #wrecker #omega tbb #tbb season 3 #tbb wolffe #clone rebellion #I’m so anxious I don’t know how much more I can take

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optimisticrunawaygalaxy · 2 years

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The fact that otto NEVER got a single moment where he could just be himself, mourn his losses and realize everything that has happened after peter fixes his thingymabob?? My fucking heart can NOT take it what I would give for him to just have 24h off/alone without any villains or enemies just to think about all the awfull shit that has happened with a clear mind for the first time in YEARS </3

#also just let him and norman talk for a few hours #he seemed so shocked but happy to see him alive :(#Just let this man have a happy moment PLEASE #yes im still talking about him #doc ock #spiderman no way home #snwh #no way home #otto octavius #dr octopus

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alastor-simp · 4 months

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Alastor x Reader - Sleeping On His Lap

Here is my attempt at a Alastor x reader fanfiction. Took me awhile to kinda get into his character so please don't be mad if Alastor seems a bit off. Enjoy!

Sigh, it was another eventful day at the Happy Hotel, or Hazbin Hotel as it was now called as a certain deer demon decided to change the name. You had spent all day doing certain tasks around the hotel such as helping Charlie create posters for the hotel, clean the rooms with Nifty, break up the brawl between Vaggie and Angel Dust as he had pissed her off one too many times and organize the bar for Husk as he was passed out drunk. You could have refused to do these things, but you enjoyed helping people, so it made it all worth it.

You had started working at the hotel after you had saw Charlie singing on the 666 news about the hotel and redeeming demons, only for her idea to be made a laughing stock upon everyone who watched the broadcast. You actually had mixed feelings about the whole redeeming thing, seeing as you weren't sure if someone like you could be sent to heaven, despite not being a very big criminal during your time when you were alive, but apparently doing a little shoplifting is enough to send you a one way ticket to hell. Charlie's words did inspire you a little bit, so even if you felt that you couldn't be redeemed, others probably had a better chance, so you decided to head to the hotel and ask for a job after the broadcast was cut off from the brawl with Charlie and Katie Killjoy. You were hired in a split second and immediately pulled into a bear hug by Charlie, and then introduced you to the others.

Back to the present, you began to feel extremely exhausted from moving around everywhere, so you headed over to one of the rooms with the long couches so you could take a rest. Heading into one of the rooms, you peeped around and saw that no one was there, which made it better as you really needed some peace and quiet. Heaving a deep sigh, you sat down on the couch, turning and falling back, as you laid your body down, with your head facing the front of the couch. "What a long day", thinking to yourself as your eyes slowly began to close and you were lulled into a deep sleep.

**2 Hours Later**

As you were sleeping, you felt the sensation of someone petting your head, the soothing feeling had awoken you a bit, but you quickly fell back asleep at the warm touch. You could feel that you were holding something in your dreams, and you assumed it was one of the pillows on the couch, so you brought it closer to your face and nuzzled it. "Mm, smells nice ", as the scent from the pillow was making you more relaxed, as it reminded you of a being in the middle of a deep forest. After sleeping for 30 more minutes, you slowly began to open your eyes, and try to make out what was in front of you. Expecting to see a pillow, you saw red stripes in front of you, "Huh?" As you were still trying to make out what was in front of you, a loud voice interrupted your thoughts: "Ah, awake now are we?", said a static voice above you. Eyes opening wide, you looked up from your position and saw Alastor staring down at you with his trademark smile. Slowly, you began to piece together that you were laying on his lap, and nuzzled into his chest as you were sleeping. "AHHHH", jumping up from your position, you rolled off his lap, and your body fell to the ground as you stared at Alastor in shock, as he continued to look at you with his glowing eyes, amused at your reaction. "Um, h-how long was I sleeping on your lap?", you softly asked, as your face was red, but your eyes were showing fear, as you remembered that Alastor did not like to be touch, and you happened to hug him in your sleep. "HAHA, For quite a while, darling. It was a very busy day, I assume?", Alastor said as he placed his arm on the armrest of the couch, and his hand against his cheek, smiling even wider.

Nodding your head, you slowly got up from your position, and started apologizing to Alastor, eyes aiming towards the ground and fingers twiddling together. Alastor raised an eyebrow and wondered why you were apologizing, to which you answered that you had hugged him in your sleep, and that he made it very aware that he did not enjoy physical contact from someone unless he initiated it, feeling extremely bad if you made him uncomfortable. Listening to you, Alastor's smile relaxed to a small grin as he looked at you with gentle eyes. He did admit that he was not use to being touch by others, and was quite surprised from the sleep hug, but he didn't detest it as much coming from you, which boggled his mind completely. It must be due to your kind and innocent nature that made him react different around you, as he was used to more of the common riff raff being terrified of him or trying to battle in a turf war, but how you were with him, made his black heart melt.

Feeling that Alastor was upset as he didn't respond to your apology, you quickly excused yourself and began to head over to the door to leave. A loud SNAP was heard and before you knew it, you had been teleported back on to the couch, this time being seated on Alastors lap. "A-Al, what are you doing?!", your face began to become as red as his hair, while your eyes stared at Alastor in shock. Smiling at you, Alastor moved his hand to your chin and tilted your face up: "There is no need to apologize, darling. If I had been upset about you hugging me, you possibly w̩͉͍̱̍̂̉̊o̫̼̐̎̋͜u͚͌l̳̓d̠͉̗͋̔͞'̼̳̣̼͊̏̾̾t͜͝ ͕̱͐͠ḇ̅e̙͗ ͍͓͔̱͍͛̔͌͘͞a̝̜̘̎́͒ḽ͒í̱̙̈́v̧̌e̠͠ ̢̹̜́́̈̀ͅr̲͇̳̅̽͌i̩͈̒̅ĝ̲̦̎ẖ̛̳̲͙̀͌̽͘ͅt͉̅ ͖̞͍̞́̋͛͛ň͚̫̦́͂̿͟o̱͌w̡̕" he said, as his eyes flashed for a second into radio dials. "However! I am not opposed to be touched by you. So no need to apologize, my dear.", Alastor said as he continued to smile at you widely, but his glowing eyes were looking at you softly, letting you know that he was not angry with you. Feeling shy, you turned your head away from Alastor, muttering a soft okay, as your heart was beating rapidly. "Smile my dear!" Alastor said as he moved his hand from your chin to your cheek, to have you look at him again. Baring through the embarrassing situation, you gave Al a small smile, which pleased him. "You always over do it, darling. While Charlie and I appreciate your efforts at helping the hotel, it does no good to work yourself to the point of fatigue. If you are ever feeling exhausted and need a break, don't be hesitant to come find me, as my radio tower is open to you. Understand, my dear?" said Alastor, as he leaned closer towards you, making you flustered again.

Nodding your head was enough to let Alastor knew you understood as he chuckled, while sliding you off his lap, and as he stood up from the couch. "Now then, we should probably head back to the lobby before the others get worried about our lack of presence.", He said, as he straighten his coat out, while turning towards you, extending his hand out for you to take it. "Yeah we should", as you grabbed his hand, and made your way with him back to the lobby. You were still trying to process what just happened between you and Alastor, but you feel like you both have become much closer then before, and you didn't mind it one bit.

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reticent-writer · 3 months

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Spiral p1

warnings: a bit violent, shitty parents

(it doesn't go into details)

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

"You killed your parents?" He was genuinely shocked as he watched you nod. He lived for tea like this but coming from you he couldn't help but be confused.

"Why on earth would you do that. You told me that you loved them."

"I mean I did but they were- wait my death led to yours?" You changed the subject.

"Yes, I simply cannot function without you, my dear. I was hiding a body in the woods when I was shot in the head." He said it as if it was a fond memory. It was creepy but as he talked a red X appeared on his forhead. the moment he saw you staring it vanished.

"You can't change the subject, Y/n. When and Why did you kill your parents?"

You sighed as you went to tell your story, "They were an odd pair, in my opinion, they should have been divorced. My mother was drunk, always talking about how she never liked my father but had 6 kids with him, I was the eldest. My father always talked about the life he could've had if he didn't settle for my mother. When my father lost his job he became a drunk and often got violent with us. After a while, I got tired of it and told my siblings to go to a friend's house for the night. The next day they were found dead by the neighbor's, No one was caught."

"That must've been quite a night." He joked.

"It was, it was also the night I met you."

"Really? You seemed so.... happy."

"Because I was."

From then on the two of you talked daily

You had learned that he had been missing from the public eye for 7 years

He started calling you pet names he used when he was alive

He told you things he would never tell anyone else

You met husk and niffty

You started to like him again but you could never forgive him for killing you

nut you considered it when he started working for the hazbin hotel

You were a patron

Although you didn't believe that sinners can change you decided to give it a shot

"Well good morning, My love. It's such a nice day today, would you care to join me for a trip to the tailor? A nobody took a bit off me." He grinned from ear to ear while offering his arm of you to take. You accepted.

At the tailor the two of you while the two of you were waiting for his jacket you suggested he try on more suits for a variety of clothes.

"How does with one look?" He came out in a blue suit with a black button-up. (his colors in reverse)

"You look amazing." You beamed as his posed.

"So this is a yes?"

"Of course-"

"Sir your jacket is ready."

Alastor paid for the new suit and his old one. Outside of the shop was a crowd surround a tv broadcasting Vox.

Alastor told you practically nothing about the other overlords but you could tell he did not like Vox and the way he looked at the TV confirmed it.

"Come along, dear. There's nothing to see over there."

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

Alastor beefing with Lucifer and cursing is so funny to me💀

Taglist: @berryghostbunny, @lorkai, @mygoldtears, @kawaiiskeletoneggsnerd, @secretkoalapersona-blog, @koji-akeme, @lofasofabread , @msyolocat-blog, @elementress44, @luujjvi, @justmare

#male reader #female reader #gn reader #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #reticent writes #reticent writer

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sloaneispunk · 5 months

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love in the capitol

In this hunger games, Coriolanus doesn’t fall for Lucy Gray, instead, his interest is peaked by another contestant in the game.

warnings: Coriolanus is the cutest shit ever, Jealous Lucy Gray (She’s just a total bitch in this one) ,TBOSS spoilers

“Lucy Gray!” Coriolanus calls out, jogging towards the enclosure where the players from different districts were held captive.

“What are you doing here? Did you bring us food?” She asked as she tapped her foot impatiently.

“Uh, yeah..” He replied reaching into his bag and passing Lucy Gray a small portion of his leftover dinner.

As he watched her eat, his eyes traveled to a girl in the far corner, there, she was accompanied by a tall brunette. The brunette boy seemed to be close to her, smiling and laughing with her.

Coriolanus got up and walked towards the side of the enclosure where he could get a proper look at you, ignoring the protests of Lucy Gray, yelling at him to come back.

“You’re supposed to be my mentor!” She whined.

The comossion from your fellow player caught your attention and your eyes shot up as you saw Coriolanus eyeing you intently. The brunette, who’s name was Tom immediately jumped onto his feet, standing in front of you, blocking you away from him.

“What do you want, Blondie?” Tom coldly asked him.

“Nothing, I’m just checking on you guys.” Coriolanus tried to lie.

“ ‘Checking up’ on ‘us’ or ‘her’?” He shot back, gesturing to you.

“It’s okay, Tom.” You stepped in before they could get at each others throats. You got up from where you were sitting and made you way to the bars, smiling at the blonde.

“I’m Coriolanus.” He said, giving you a small smile.

“Y/n..” You greeted back.

“Y/n…” He tried your foreign name on his lips, for some reason, it felt right. “What district are you from?”

“I’m from 8, him too.” You pointed to Tom who now was slumped against a rock, shooting daggers into Coriolanus as he watched the two of you talk.

“Oh, are you two-”

“God no! He’s just a friend.” You chuckled awkwardly.

However, that sentence itself made Coriolanus’ heart skip a beat, maybe he did have a chance afterall.

“You’re really pretty.” Coriolanus blurted out before he could catch himself, his eyes widening in shock as he registered what he had just said.

Instead of you walking away from what he thought you might think was a creepy interaction, you just let out a small laugh. “You’re not so bad yourself.” You said back, his face immediately flashing a bright red as he rubbed his neck shyly.

But before he could say anything else, Lucy Gray snapped her fingers as she stepped beside you.

“You’re supposed to be MY mentor, what are you doing with her?!” She asked, giving you a dirty look. “Let’s go!” She instructed, getting him to follow her back to her side of the enclosure.

Although Coriolanus didn’t want to leave you, he knew he had to, to avoid any kinds of suspicion upon you and him. He had to do it afterall if he wanted to keep you safe and alive at least until the end of the game.

‘I’ll be back’ He mouthed to as he was being dragged away by Lucy Gray.

After that, you went back to Tom a smiling mess.

“We’re literally about to die, why are you smilimg like that?” He teased you, playfully bumping your shoulder.

“I’ll die a happy woman.” You replied, laughing with him.

That night, when Coriolanus went home, Tigris noticed his oddly happy demeanour.

“Okay spit it out, who’s the girl?” She asked as she leaned against the door frame of his room, watching as he laid on his bed, his smile never leaving.

“A girl from 8, she’s heavenly.” He gushed as his cousin rolled her eyes playfully, taking a seat beside him on his bed.

“Be careful, Coryo. You know it’s not safe to get involved with someone from another district.”

“I know.. I will.” He sighed.

Little did Coriolanus know, he would spend the next few days looking for her, wanting to get to see her every chance he got. He was whipped for you and he knew it, but how was he supposed to keep you safe in the games?

#the hunger games #hunger games #coriolanus snow #president snow #coriolanus x lucy gray #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #corio snow #snow x you #snow x reader #lucy gray #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x reader

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harleehazbinfics · 3 months

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A tainted dove.

hazbin hotel x devout!reader devout series

Note: i could expand this more but lmao it's already long as it is. react down below if you wanna see more!

You lived as a sister for the church in your past life. You always followed the rules, devoted yourself to praying and doing charity work. You enjoyed that kind of life that just helped people and feel appreciated for your services.

However, most people in the convent didn't seem pleased with you being such a "goodie two shoes" and "outshining" the other sisters, by things holy, even the Father seemed to dislike how well liked you were in the community that he sent you off to a far and remote place.

There was no electricity, a scheduled running water system and there was very little livestock from the extreme climate that most animals die before they reach their first spring. There was only one other person there in the church as well, he was a Father that helped and did services for this small community. He was too old and frail to do tasks outside the community but he had to do it since be was the only one that the people here could depend on.

You could see how extremely happy he was when he found you at his doorstep lending a hand in his mission.

You lived peacefully there with the Father and the villagers, attending mass, helping cultivate the land by going to the next town that you had to travel on foot to get to with how remote the terrain was, and just generally trying to make everyone be happy despite the unfortunate circumstances.

However, men came and destroyed the village, setting it ablaze. You hurriedly evacuated the people to hide and take them to the nearest village for help.

Unfortunately, you were caught and imprisoned by these men, and were defiled as you died by your injuries to resist them, ending futile.

•°•°•°•°

When you sat and looked at the crimson sky your broken wing made it unable for you to fly feeling very detached from yourself.

You did everything they asked, you became a very good sister until your dying breath only to end up here. Were you fed lies? Or, was this the fate you were already dealt?

Collapsing from the stress, you failed to notice a figure flying towards you, scooping you up and leaving with you to his castle.

When you finally woke up, you felt your wings be in better shape. You gave them a stretch holding them in your hands as you inspected them. They were red on the top and white underneath with gray swirls as a touch.

You were startled when you saw a blond male in a white suit and hat come to you. He gave you some soup with a wry smile.

You accepted his kind help feeling indebted to him for being the only generous person that you ever crossed paths with while being here in hell for a good while.

He introduced himself as the ruler of hell, Lucifer himself. This fact obviously shocked you. Lucifer was this short, dorky, kind man? It was quite hard to believe from all the scriptures you've read while you were alive.

He explains his backstory which you found quite pitiful and explained how he was surprised to find your existence here in hell when you should've been in heaven.

He promises to make things right with you, so he takes it upon himself to call his daughter, Charlie to help you. While he tries to deal with it.

When you get to the hotel, you were enamoured by the passion that Charlie had for her cause and felt like you needed to help her.

So, you worked with them for a month getting accustomed to life here. It was actually quite delightful being genuine friends with them. They often talked to you when they felt lost or frustrated or lost touch of themselves and their emotions. You didn't mind it, it was your life's work after all.

After getting closer and closer to everyone, Lucifer comes back and tells you that Heaven doesn't acknowledge the mistake that they made and that you were to stay here for the rest of eternity.

This deeply saddened you but you touched Lucifer's shoulder and smiled.

"Thank you for trying, Lucifer. It's fine! I've actually made friends here. And since you're here, why not join us? We're celebrating Angie's birthday!"

He smiled comforted as you walked with him to the banquet table served with various dishes.

The night ends happily. Despite being unhappy and failing to connect with other people to create deeper relationships on Earth. You felt more at peace here with these sinners than you've ever felt before.

#lucifer x reader #hazbin fotel fanfic #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer hazbin hotel

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fandomapocalypse · 2 months

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Love and relationships in Hazbin Hotel

Episode 7 has something interesting and in the song that is called "Out for love" is sung by a character that is referring to a type of love different from a romantic or sexual one, Carmilla is openly talking about familial love. Vaggie of course relates this to her romantic feelings towards Charlie and how she wants to help her. But something else interesting happens in episode 7, Rosie is properly introduced as Alastor's bestie. This leads to showing another type of love: platonic love.

Now to the main point of this post: Alastor. It's canon that he is aroace and as an ace myself (I'm still questioning whether I'm aromantic or demiromantic but this post isn't about me lol) I'm extremely happy to see myself through him. Plus, the fact that the perfect Tumblr sexyman is aroace is genius and hilarious, you can't possibly top this type of humor.

Alastor for me has been a great ace representation and I've seen myself mainly in how he acts around his friends or other people.

When it comes to Niffty it looks more like a relationship between someone with their feral cat or their crazy little sister. But it's still a genuine connection and a fun chaotic one at that, he even lets her touch his hair and climb on him. In regards to Mimzy, he has shown he cares about her and welcomes her with open arms. He openly hugs her, which shocks everyone in the cast. This is extremely important because Alastor usually only starts physical contact to mock others or to pretend physical closeness as a manipulation tactic (like he often does with Charlie). When it comes to people he hates Alastor may touch them but will quickly wipe his hand on his clothes, like what he did with Lucifer. Personally, I don't like personal contact and only accept it if I start it and usually I use it as a way to show affection with close friends. Also, they have known each other since they were alive, so Mimzy probably knows a lot about Alastor that the rest of the cast doesn't. Mimzy also says that they used to dance together. But that doesn't exclude the fact that she uses Alastor's friendship and affection to save her own ass and taking into account how Husk reacted to Mimzy, this isn't the first time she does this. Also, the relationship between the two starts to crumble after what happened in episode 6 and Mimzy seems to be the kind of friend who will pretend that they are still on good terms and still ask Alastor for favors in the future.

Now jumping back to Alastor's true bestie: Rosie. They probably bonded at first over their cannibalistic natures but it's clear that it evolved beyond that. Personally, I don't ship Alastor with anyone, but when it comes to Rosie I headcanon they are in a QPR.

There are various reasons why this relationship is so great and wholesome, the first one being that there is no power imbalance, they are equals. Both are cannibalistic overlords and are on equal footing in terms of power. When Rosie first sees Alastor she is genuinely happy which is something new because most people react badly to him out of fear or hatred.

Alastor respects Rosie, he even compliments her, in her introduction he says she is "the most darling, delightful, and dangerous Overlord of this side of the pentagram". Considering how self-centered and narcissistic he can be, it means a lot. Alastor would rather die again than compliment another Overlord who isn't Zestial, which he respects but out of fear. Alastor respects Rosie as his close friend. When they stand next to each other they give an air of equals, something that never happens thanks to Alastor's ego and sadism towering over everyone else. With Rosie it's different and Rosie can openly tease Alastor with the "Look at you, so polite! Alastor you can learn a thing or two" when comparing him to Charlie when meeting her, or "I'm just kidding, I know you're an ace in the hole" to tease him about his asexuality. This is something that not a lot of people can do because Alastor is obsessed with control and respect. After all, we see how badly he reacted when Husk insulted him.

He also harmonizes with her, he willingly makes a duet with her in "Ready for this". He isn't interrupting her, instead, he agrees with her and they sing together in unison. This is the first time he doesn't openly hijack a song or fight for control over it, like he did with Vox and Lucifer (although this also happened because this is Charlie's song, but who cares the point still stands). Also, this is the first time we see him dance with someone, instead of forcing them to join his musical number (like he does with Charlie on various occasions). Alastor and Rosie are in perfect sync and it's so wholesome and precious to see him being so openly happy with her. Many have pointed out that the only times Alastor is genuinely smiling is when he is with Rosie and it shows by his expression in his eyes.

Finally, Rosie is the only one capable of bringing the most human emotions out of him, the most obvious one being confusion. In the scene of "ace in the hole" Rosie manages to confuse and surprise Alastor for a solid second, which is a huge change of his persona around everyone else of control and manipulation. Also, it's hilarious that Alastor doesn't know what being aroace is, he probably thinks he is above all that.

He is openly relaxed around Rosie and lets her touch him in an affectionate way, something that not even Mimzy can do. It may be because of the height difference but Mimzy only touches Alastor to hug him and to emphasize he is a "heartless son of a bitch" and Alastor clearly gets irritated by her touching him that way and even moves her finger away from him. This never happens with Rosie and he even welcomes her touching him by not having any walls with her. It's Rosie the one starting the physical contact and Alastor doesn't seem to mind and he never tries to use physical contact to take advantage of her like he does with other characters. Rosie is one of the few people who can touch Alastor without losing an arm and instead have a positive reaction out of him.

The most genuine relationship Alastor has is with Rosie, he even has the confidence and comfort to stop his elegant and reserved persona of not swearing. Which he only does when he is truly angry, like what happened with Lucifer. Or when he is threatening someone like he did with Adam. Or when he is shocked when his microphone breaks. He swears to insult Susan, which is someone they both despise equally. Something that you would only do with your closest bestie.

Finally, let's talk about Alastor's breakdown in the last episode. We've already seen that Alastor is capable of having friendships that aren't based on an end goal. Alastor knows this but he rejects it because he is at the hotel originally for selfish goals and doesn't want his emotions to get in the way. He is terrified of ruining his reputation as a sadistic killer and becoming an altruistic who cares about his friends. Alastor wants to stop himself from starting to care about the crew the same way he cares about Rosie, Mimzy, or Nifty to some degree. This is confirmed by his conversation with Niffty, where he admits he has grown accustomed to the main crew and perhaps he is growing feelings of affection towards them in his own way.

In regards to shipping him with Rosie, I see it as a platonic ship or a QPR. Some people have a headcanon that if they had known each other when they were alive they would have married for tax benefits and to avoid the social stigma, which is the only right answer. When they first met in hell they probably had dates in cannibal town where they ate human flesh while gossiping and trash-talked about the other overlords. Which is exactly what an ace person like myself wants from a close friendship.

As an ace, I really like Alastor not because he is the ultimate Tumblr sexyman or see him as hot but because he is an extremely fun character that I can relate to. I'm grateful for the crew and VA that take into account he is aroace and take seriously that aspect of his character. I don't mind that the aroace representation in Hazbn Hotel is a narcissistic psychopath, if you want a more wholesome ace representation you can check Todd in Bojack Horseman or Saiki in The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

I don't mind people shipping Alastor, after all, it's just people having fun, but you can't ignore that he is aroace and how this affects his relationships. So yeah have fun and respect and aroace community :)

ok thanks for hearing my rant bye

#hazbin hotel #alastor #rosie #hazbin hotel rosie #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aspec #radiorose

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mrsnancywheeler · 3 months

Text

andante, andante // finnick odair x f. reader

masterlist

3.3k words

request: could you write a oneshot where finnick and reader have always had a flirty relationship. the reader got taken and tortured by snow during the quarter quell, and she was brought to thirteen and when finnick sees her lots of fluff (and maybe smut?) ensues. i love your work, happy 700 followers!

warnings: smut, lots of it, there's some angst in the beginning Captiol related, confessions of feelings, hurt/comfort in the beginning, pnv, some degredation, teasing, use of good girl, unprotected sex, no use of y/n, unedited

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

There was no energy left, not a single part of your body had any form of passion left. Long ago you'd grown immune to the effects that Peeta and Johanna's screams had once had on you, probably once the starvation and dehydration had kicked in. Not to mention when you were trying to fight off the rats you could swear where in your pitch black cell, sometimes you'd swear you saw other creatures as well, but you tried to tell yourself it was hallucinations.

So when the team from District 13 came to rescue you all, you desperately willed the energy to return. You couldn't see him like this, Finnick. Technically you were just friends, but your relationship hinged on the flirtatious, playful banter which you didn't know if you had anymore. You hadn't spoken in a while, maybe you wouldn't even recognize your voice, it's not like the Capitol had much information they could get out of you. No one had thought to inform you of the rebel plan, for a while part of you was terrified that Snow would just have you killed for not knowing anything, but you were kept alive.

You'd had endless time to spend, when you weren't hearing or seeing things in your hazy state, to think about Finnick. How you weren't sure if he felt the same way about you that you'd felt about him for years, but should've said something before all this. Wishing that before you surely died in the Capitol he would know you had always cared for him, loved him from afar. You'd rather die with your love unrequited, but known. Yet now you'd see him again and you hoped if there was a chance he had feelings for you that you were half the woman you once were.

Of course, once all the fluids the medics were pumping you full of had taken effect you'd probably feel some of the spirit you'd had return. The universe seemed to look down on you because the first feeling you did feel in full force was anxiety about Finnick. You'd heard whispers of his names from guards so you knew he wasn't dead, but hadn't a clue how he actually was. Maybe you'd made up the voices of the guards and he actually was dead, what a cruel fate that would be, but with the way your life seemed to pan out it wouldn't have shocked you. Although if he was alive it condemned you to living the rest of your life in silent adoration, but he was the only person you would ever do that for.

When you entered the District 13 base on that medical bed the next full force feeling hit, overstimulation. The only noise you had been used to in weeks were the cries of Peeta and Johanna which you'd learned to tune out regardless of how loud, and the occasional order from a guard or a whisper. The flurry of doctors ready to fully assess injuries, people standing around full of questions, all the chatter and noise had your hands flying up to cover your ears. It was too bright, too loud, the bed was rickety in the floors little bumps, and you actually longed to be back in the familiarity of the cell.

“Hey, you're okay, honey." A much softer voice, much closer, warms ringer delicately brushing the hands covering your ears. Finnick. Your eyes snapped open as you slowly observed him.

“Finnick?" Your voice was much quieter, scratchier than you'd remembered it, but he seemed to hear you just fine. His kind smile blessing you as he slowly nodded, the next emotion was relief. You hadn't cried in a while, no water to allow yourself, but the fluids must have been working miracles because you felt like there was a flood about to break through your tear ducts. “You're real right?"

His hand landed more firmly on yours, assuring you with his very real body heat. “I'm real, I'm right here with you." Slowly you moved your hands from your ears, forcing yourself to take deep breaths to handle the noise. He looked like he was going to cry, “God, I'm so glad you're okay!" Finnick's warm embrace surrounded you and it made you want to melt into him forever. “They kept sedating me because I was so worried about you."

It confused you, to hear him talking about worrying about you with so much passion, of course he'd consumed your every thought, but you'd doubted you would've been on his. “Oh, come on, you would've found someone else to banter with, Finn." The first laugh you'd had in so long forced itself out.

“Good thing that the only person I want to banter with is you, and here you are, pretty face and all."

There was a pause before your voice came out again, delicate like a flower petal floating on the waters. "I missed you.” It came out sounding more vulnerable then you'd intended, maybe even too fond and he'd pulled his arms away. Before you could retreat though you were shocked when his lips were on yours. The kiss was soft, and spoke a thousand words you could only ever wish to translate.

When he pulled away you could only stare at him stunned, he'd felt the same way you'd felt all along. “I'm sorry, I-" Before he could finish you pulled his face back in, kissing him, it was addictive, you could drown in his lips. “You know, it's rude to interrupt." He muttered out before kissing you again.

“Sorry." You weren't, there was no time to be when it was like you living in a dream. Maybe this was a dream, maybe you were back in the Capitol and had officially lost it, but the heat of his touch was too real for you to believe that.

“I've loved you for so long." Finnick's hand cupped your face which must have been burning up.

“Me too, I didn't think you'd ever even noticed me that way."

“How could I not have noticed my pretty, sweet girl that way?" His smile was so perfect it made you feel like you were floating. The doctors insisted on doing an official check up on you which Finnick stuck by you diligently for. Fluids and food was all you really needed besides further psychological evaluation, but there wasn't much time for that when apparently Peeta was turning out to be the biggest problem imaginable.

Finnick had sat by your hospital bed, slowly feeding you a soup that felt like the best thing you'd ever eaten with all the time you'd gone without a scrap. He filled you in on life in District 13, how much protocol there was, but it would be worth it to end all of this so you could be together. Apparently he'd been assigned his own compartment which he rarely used when the breakdowns hit, so he'd spent nearly every night sedated in the hospital wing.

Eventually the doctors agreed to let you take a shower, you'd still be sequestered to the hospital wing, but you were grateful for the chance to finally be clean. You could sense that Finnick hated that you would be out of his sight again, like the moment you walked away he would realize this was all a dream he was having that had slipped away under the cover of night. “Do you wanna come with?" You whispered to him as the medic on the other side took the IV out of your arm, “Somebody's gonna have to show me the way there."

“Can I?" He whispered back and hurt you to know that he'd been this hurt over you, that you'd both gone so long without a confession to the other.

You nodded slowly as you pressed a quick kiss on his lips and he smiled, maybe this wasn't a dream after all. Finnick guided you through the drab underground of District 13. It was stuffy, but you were overtaken by giddiness. The Finnick Odair was holding your hand, the Finnick Odair had meant every flirty comment he'd made, Finnick Odair loved you back, Finnick Odair wasn't just a dream you could never have, Finnick was here, Finnick was yours. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. And the final petal had determined he loved you.

He turned the water on for you and Finnick respectfully turned around so you could undress and get inside of it. Your heart swelled to think he missed you so much he would be content to just sit outside, to feel your presence in the room. The feeling of the water hitting your skin was a relief, to feel the grime being washed away. It was lonely though, to think of him patiently waiting for you, how long he's waited to know you were safe, how long he'd waited for you to confess. “Are you gonna make me be alone in here?” You cringed at the way no matter how quiet your voice was it seemed to echo.

You'd hid behind the curtain, so you didn't have to confront the question. Maybe he didn't want to, but you'd also thought he just wanted to flirt as friends. The curtain swept to the side as he peeked his handsome face in, eyes glued to your face. "Not if you need my help, honey.” You would've sworn the way he said those endearments always made butterflies flutter in your stomach, even if it was something you'd felt guilty about when he initially began using it.

The hot water should have relaxed your muscles, but staring at his perfect, handsome face was making you feel a similar sensation that you despised. Whether he knew it or not, the sound of his voice, the things he'd say, and that smile of his all did unimaginable things to you. Things you'd felt guilty for when the fantasies flashed in your mind. He'd been your friend, so it must've been wrong to imagine him with his hands between your legs. Now though, he wasn't just your friend, and the feeling was back. “Maybe I do." It was embarrassing, but just being by his body would help you or maybe it would make the feeling worse, but you didn't care.

He grinned at you and disappeared for a few seconds before he'd opened the curtain again, slipping into the shower. “What do you need my help with, sweet girl?" Now you'd have to come up with something, you tried not to let your eyes trail over his body, he wasn't looking anywhere but your face. But it was hard when it felt like some tingling part of your body was now controlling your actions.

“Can you help me clean myself off?"

"Of course, honey.” He went to grab the shampoo bottle, eyes never ducking down. Part of you wanted him too though, so that this felt less like a dirty fantasy.

"You can look at me, you know? I won't bite, unless asked, promise.” You tried to sound like it was playful, soft and he laughed.

"Yeah, sorry, I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable either." You reassured, “I'm not making you uncomfortable though, am I? If I am-" One of his hands grabbed yours making you pause.

“You're not making me uncomfortable either, you're okay." His sweet smile made you feel more than just like melting, you hoped the wetness pooling between your thighs wouldn't be noticeable in the water. Finnick softly turned you around to wash your hair, he was so particular, taking his time and the feeling of his breath on your neck, clever fingers in your hair. It was so calming, “This okay, honey?" You could only hum in approval as his hands moved so delicately across your scalp. Your brain so easily fell into an easy blissful state as you let his hands move your head with ease. He finished with your hair soon enough and was moving onto washing your body. You shuddered when he carefully pushed your hair off the back of your neck, “You sure you're okay?”

"Yeah.” It comes out more strained than you'd meant it to and you pray he's not put off by it, which he doesn't seem to be as his hands keep trailing downwards. He's soaped and rinsed you off, moving you with so much care that you wish you could absorb each second of it, but you're trying to leave the moment. If you let yourself think about it you're sure you'll give yourself away with the way you'd be responding to his touch. Then it's nearly impossible when he's washing your face, his hands seem like they were perfectly meant to hold your face and suddenly so do his lips when he's kissing you again. Instantly you're pulling him in closer, basically inhaling whatever he gives you. Then you're pausing when his hands start slipping down the small of your back.

Much to your chagrin he pulls away, pausing his hands descent, as he looks at you, “Are you okay with this?" He asks, his eyes speak depths on how much he cares. You nod trying to lean in again, but he leans back, “Need to hear you say it, sweet girl."

"Yes, Finn.” It's barely audible, but he rewards you by kissing you again. Fingers continuing their trail down your back, grazing over nerves that make you shiver. His hands finally land on your hips and you can barely breathe, but you won't let yourself pull away from his lips. They're too addictive and you're too scared you'll wake up to realize you never left the Capitol. And then his hands are slipping lower, your thighs pressing together.

His hands are slowly spreading your legs apart and you let them. Whimpering into his lips when his fingers start tracing over your pussy. His lips pull away and you whine more, even if it gives you a chance to gasp for air. “You're dripping, sweet girl, I haven't even done anything. I bet…” Finnick trails off and you gasp when the tips of two of his fingers are lightly pushing into you. You're instantly clenching around them and he's smirking. “Were you gonna tell me I was making you this dizzy?" You hum out something incoherent when his other fingers start rubbing you. “Seems like someone doesn't know how to use her words, sweet girl, I just have to look at her and understand how needy she is…” He kisses your neck, "Doesn't tell me she feels the same way about me, I have to do it.” Another kiss to another sensitive spot and you gave up on any idea of suppressing the wanton sounds you're making now. He was rubbing you faster now, “Someone's gonna have to teach you to use your words, like a good girl. Not today though."

"Finn-” You moaned out, head tilting back. "Need you, need you so bad. Need you inside me.” You clenched around the tips of his stationary fingers and he thrusted them upwards, the sound you let out was guttural with shock.

“You sure you can take me, sweet girl? Want me to split you open instead of helping you open?" He sounded condescending as he kept moving his fingers inside of you as you whined, before letting out another moan as he slipped a third finger in you.

“Don't care, Finn, don't care if it hurts, need you cock in me. Please, please, please.”

He slipped his fingers out and your eyebrows scrunched together as you whined, he was opening your mouth with his fingers soaked in your juices. “You're my pretty little cock slut aren't you? Gonna let me break you on my cock?" You sucked his fingers in confirmation, licking off your own juices and he smirked. “Did you fantasize about me? Were you not able to tell me how you felt because you were too busy making yourself dumb thinking about my cock?" You nodded, moaning as his other hands began making even more aggressive circles. His hand titled your head up, “If you want my cock, then you're gonna tell me what you thought about when you were fucking yourself stupid."

It was hard to form words when you wanted to do nothing but whine at the pleasure rushing through your body, "You, I thought about how much I wanted you-” Your head fell back when his circles got rougher and then was forcing your head back up, "Wanted you inside of me, touched myself thinking about, oh my god, Finn, please I can't it's too much, wanna cum when you're inside me.”

He was quiet for a second before sighing, “When you beg like that how am I supposed to refuse you anything? Just because my sweet girl just got back to me and must be being so brave, using her words like that. But you're not getting out of it next time, honey." Finnick removed his hand and you let out an involuntary whine.

"Thank you, Finn.” You said breathily as he finally lined himself up with your entrance. “Already so close."

“So needy." He clicked his tongue as he started pushing into you, you clawed into his back. “Jump." You obeyed and he hoisted you up, legs wrapping around his waist. Trying not to hit at his back when caused more of him to push in, but you couldn't stop yourself from the scream you let out when he carefully pushed your back against the shower wall and he bottomed out in you. “So tight, this pussy was made for me, feels so good." He groaned, “Can I move?"

“Please, you're so deep in me, feels so good. Wanna be yours, Finn, want you to do what you want with me." His face planted itself in between your neck and shoulder and you could feel him smiling into your skin.

“You're so sweet, honey." Then he was moving again and you were instantly crying out, “Everyone's gonna find us if you keep this up, know you're mine now." At your insistence he let himself be fast, pound in and out of you as you tightened around him.

Finnick moved a hand up to protect your head as he thrusted recklessly into you. It felt like an eternity of his perfect noises and seeing stars with each movement, you were so grateful that it was your cunt making him groan like that, that he wanted to be inside of you. “Oh my god, Finn, I'm gonna come."

“Good girl, come undone on my cock, sweet girl. Wanna look at your pretty face when you let go for me.” You could've sworn that you'd left the planet when he brought you past the edge. He must have felt it too because your ecstasy doubled when you felt him releasing inside of you, how full you were of him.

You don't know how long you stayed like that, listening to each other's breathing, but nothing had ever felt so perfect. “They're gonna wonder what happened to us." You eventually let out a breathy laugh and he nodded into your shoulder. He tapped your leg and you unhooked them from around his waist. Feet falling onto the cold tiles below.

“Good, I've got to make up for lost time." He kissed your forehead before finally pulling out of you and you hated how empty you felt without him. Finnick pressed his forehead against yours and you watched the steam from the water gather around him, “I should've told you sooner, if you hadn't been okay and here with me again, I don't know if I could've lived with myself knowing you never knew I loved you." And the way he kissed you sealed your fate, you would forever be making up for the times that neither of you confessed to how hopelessly you adored each other and you would relish every moment of it.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you for reading! I'm going to try and get chapter two of the river out before I do the next request, working on scheduling these each out! if you enjoyed it feedback is always appreciated, comments, likes, reblogs, and my asks/requests are open! thank you again and love you all 💋

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circeyoru · 2 months

Text

Unwanted Soul _ Part 4 = Requested

[Yandere!Alastor x Owner of his Soul!Reader]

The Request (1) + (2)

@hoshinosama Maybe p4 is about Alastor learning about reader past? 🥺

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 2.5 (ask) — Part 3 — Part 4 (here) — Part 5 *I suggest you read Part 2.5 if you didn't, it'll help

When you found out all those years ago, back when you first manifested in Hell that you were still somehow alive, you seeked out so many ways to off yourself again. You didn’t kill yourself to live in torture again. Especially when there was no right entertainment for you

Unforturnately, you did find out that you missed the annual exterminations that was a one way ticket to death. You missed it! Then you went to the next big thing. You seeked out the King of Hell, your next way to true death

You caught Lucifer at an awkward timing. His daughter that he so loved was doing something impossible, as he claims and his wife was more and more distant for some reason he can’t point. Well, you’re not interested in any way so you kindly asked if he could kill you

That dead look in your eyes shocked Lucifer really. You were like a soulless being, a puppet? A doll? There was no spark in you, no wants apart from your wish to death. Lucifer took pity on you and took you in, offering you a job of being an information collector of sorts. His little informant

You only agreed because he said you had powers in Hell and tempted you to delay your death till the next extermination to see if you still want the same. A little below a year to see if you liked your demon life or self. You discovered quite the unique power you have and honed it to perfection, testing it and perfecting it

All the while, you made friends with Lucifer who was a bit too obsessed with making ducks. He gave you your own collection of ducks. During which you created a case just to put those ducks on display, uplifting his spirits

Now Lucifer notices that you never smiled nor show prolonged excitement for anything. You were fascinated with your powers and abilities, but you were hardly happy. So he tried something. He brought you back to Earth for a visit and for you to get whatever you wished

Never has he seen you that happy and grateful like you were another person. You dragged him all over the place, actually requesting things and wanting stuff done. Lucifer happily fulfilled it all. It was the least he could do when you gave him company when his family was distant from him

Even better was when you gave up on your (second) death and was more energetic. To seems to Lucifer that bringing you to Earth was the right call, so he gave you exclusive access to the living world on the condition that you would never cause harm to the mortals and bring other demons along with you. Namely abuse it, you easily agreed with no issue

Throughout your years of serving Lucifer, you never actually caught wind of Charlie because you didn’t want Lucifer getting depressed even more due to the distance and you never actively searched for Lilith because Lucifer’s response to your offer nearly made your sda self cry for him

You kept a strict business relationship with Lucifer to ensure that all the gathered information was to his benefit and liking, you later allowed a friendship with him because he helped you see light in this hellhole. If you had taken your life, you wouldn’t be enjoying your afterlife or meet him

“Are you really seriously happy with that thing?” Lucifer asked as his face twisted to one of disgust and maybe anger when his eyes darted over to the demon humming a joyful tune while baking with a ridiculous apron You hummed, looking up from your tablet and pausing your search, “If you’re referring to Alastor, then yes, I am.” Lucifer let out a childish groan, plopping his chin in his palm, “Why is it that tacky piece of—” He cut himself off when he heard your giggle. At time he thought you were giggling at his name-calling, but you were looking at Alastor with a soft gaze before you caught yourself and turned back to Lucifer. He smiled along, “Maybe he’s not too bad if he can make you smile like that.” “Like what?” You tilted your head, not following. You blinked twice when Lucifer suddenly lean extremely close to you with a smirk, you raised a brow, “What are you doing? “Oh, darling!” Alastor sang, immediately came over and swatted Lucifer away from you like a bug. Before you could make a comment, he showcased a tray of freshly fried donuts. “I glazed it with some sugar. I can make more flavours, if you so desire, My Dear.” You picked up one and tried it, “Taste great, Alastor.”

Even though Lucifer is happy for your own happiness, he can’t help but want to rile up Alastor just to show that Radio Demon you had a close friendship with The King of Hell. When you were still in slumber mode, he warned Alastor thoroughly that if you were to cry under any circumstances, Alastor’s gonna answer to him

You found it odd how you were somewhat surrounded by people now. Just a year ago, you were trying to get Alastor out of your home and living your dream life. But now, you were in a hotel of all places. You wonder what your life came to really

Your eyes landing on Alastor, you can’t help but smile fondly. Your biggest change was letting someone else into your life and you like it. You can’t deny that Alastor was on the extreme side, but it was all his way of showing affection, so you can’t deny that any longer. They say time will time, and they proved Alastor was a devotee to your affection

It was a mystery why you accepted the gang’s invitation to drink when you were heading to the kitchen for some food, since Alastor was out to visit Rosie. It left you drank and a talker, you were more energetic and carefree than usual, a completely different side. When Alastor came back, everyone was quick to scatter, not wanting to explain themselves to the Radio Demon for your state

“Alastor! Welcome back!” You waved, hopping off the high chair while holding onto your wine glass, wobbly but careful not to spill. “You’re very late today.” “Apologises, My Dear, Rosie was introducing me to some new shops for your steak.” Alastor took the wine glass away and threw it into the bar where Husk was hiding under, he held onto your hand to balance you, “What have you been doing, Darling?” “Oh, nothing. Charlie and the others invited me to drink, Husk made me this bubbly drink that’s a bit… bubbly!” You giggled, planting your face into Alastor’s front, hugging him as you snizzle at him. “Very bubbly.” Alastor looked up to glare at the bar, though void of the culprits that put you in such a state. You avoided alcohol for a reason. He picked you up, holding you like a princess. “Well, My Dearest, time to head back to your room then.”

This state of yours was a wild card to Alastor. Sometimes, you were highly aware of your surroundings and played flirty, sometimes you were sleepy, sometimes you were talkative, sometimes you were cruel. It was like different sides of you were fighting for dominance

He have only seen you sleepy once when he added alcohol into the meal for taste, you fell asleep before you finished your food. The next day he inquired and you told him your drunken states, strictly telling him to not let you drink alcohol or put them in your drink or food. So he was puzzled how Charlie and the others got you to drink

Boredom got you to do a lot of things. Try out new hobbies only to revert back to your old ones in a matter of days. An intensive obsession that doesn’t last long, a frequent phenomenon with you. That’s why you were adamant about him leaving you, you think Alastor will get bored of you and leave out of the blue when you had no time to prepare

Alastor was well aware, though he had no idea where this rooted from, he proved you wrong by staying with you all these years without fail. He’ll continue to do so too

“Ask me something. I’ll answer.” You shifted to sleep on your side, eying Alastor who was cleaning up the mess you’ve been. “Anything.” “Dear, you’ll regret this. I won’t take advantage of your drunk state.” You pouted, “I won’t regret it. We’ve been close. I don’t mind letting you know things, I’ll not answer if I don’t feel comfortable, okay?” Alastor hummed, snapping his fingers to change your clothes to something more comfortable for sleep, then he took of his coat to place it on an armchair. He sat down on the bedside, “Are you sure, Dear? I will ask anything.” “Yeah.” You hugged onto a soft toy nearby “Why did you kill yourself?” “...My life wasn’t worth living.” You muttered, your eyes downcasted. It was a lucky thing that Alastor’s back was to you. “I didn’t see a meaning in my life, every day it was like I was torturing myself.” “Why are you hesitant about accepting connection, affection and love?” You chuckled drily, “That’s so direct, Alastor.” You hummed and closed your eyes, recalling memories of the past when you were alive. “I loved connection, I loved affection too. I never understood love. I had so many friends when I was younger, like a kid, but I realized they weren’t friends and it was a form of bully. I thought my family cared about me but when I wasn’t useful, they pushed me aside.” Alastor moved his hand to you, wiping away a tear that escaped your closed eyelids. “I’m sorry to hear that, you don’t deserve that.” Despite his gentleness to you, he was seething with rage. “No wonder you were pushing me away, Darling.” “I thought I had the love of my life though. He confessed first, I ignored it then accepted it. Then he and I broke off. Afterwards, we’re back together again. He called me clingy, annoying, he regretted giving me his love. So I broke it off. Then he came back to me, saying he was wrong. I was desperate. I accepted, thinking it was the last. I shouldn’t have accepted.” You took a deep breath, your eyes opened, glassy and dull “He’s not worth your time and energy, Doe.” Alastor sat properly, letting you lie in his lap while he played with you hair. “Forget him.” He almost growled, he controlled himself so his claws wouldn’t sharpen. “Forget all about him.” You closed your eyes once more, leaning into his touch. “I killed myself in my sleep. I wanted to sleep forever and ignore all the suffering around me. I don’t want to hear their laughter, I don’t want to see their smiles, I don’t want to sing them praise and congratulations. I don’t want to know about their achievements while I was… I don’t want it…” “Shhhhh… Darling, it’s alright.” Alastor looked down at you, bringing your fluffy blanket up to you. “You don’t need to care about them, you have me with you now. Whatever you desire is yours.”

The promises and whispers of giving you the world, in exchange for your presence in his life. You believed you took Alastor for granted. You were indifference to his affection and care in the beginning, when he showed you such extreme to protect and defend you (even when it’s not needed), you were scared that he saw you as the next entertainment

So you kept pushing him away. Showing him to the door when he was all healed up. You knew it only took that long because he was worsening his wounds to stay longer. It was a cliche tactic and you saw through it. When that didn’t work, he said he had to stay to replay you for your kindness. A rarity in Hell, which you agree. But you told him, “It was only to amuse myself.”

Alastor merely laughed and commended on your honestly. Freshing, as he claimed. Everything you did to get him away from you, it only drew him closer and closer to you. To the point where you have to take a break from it all, to clear your head and think. The hotel, it was perfect, so you sent him there. Maybe he’d find better entertainment there

But then he gave you reports daily, an excuse to hear your voice and feel your presence through the radio. He spotted a loophole. You found yourself looking forward to his reports. Even letting him visit once for a ‘job well done’ reward. He delayed his return to the hotel and you didn’t complain

You told yourself not to fall for him. Don’t let history repeat itself. Save yourself the heartache. This was Hell, no way would someone like Alastor devote to you just because he loves you. No way. Don’t hope. Don’t expect. If you do, you’re putting yourself up for a nasty fall

When you heard that Alastor’s old friend Mimzy came over, completely ignoring the way he treated a soul he owned that went by the name Husk. The next day, you found yourself on the streets searching for this Mimzy character. She didn’t have a good reputation, but who does in Hell. You felt your anger raising when she spoke of Alastor’s name left and right to take whatever she wanted

Before you knew it, you had fired a shot at her. You left before she found you. You left yourself slip. Why now? Why? What made Alastor different? Lucifer saved you from a quick suicide after your arrival to Hell, you didn’t feel the same with him as you did with Alastor. Why? WHY?

You thought you had a piece of mind when Alastor told you the exterminations were targeting the hotel first. This will end your mistake. This will save you the fall. You gave Alastor your order, “Protect the hotel and the Princess must be aided to the best of your abilities.”

To see things end, you stood a safe distance away from the battle. Your eyes on Alastor who took up the role of battling against Adam. You should have smiled that Alastor’s chances of winning was slim, but you found your heartbeat quicken as anxiety rose

The back of your mind shouted at you. Alastor will die. Adam’s an angel. He has angelic powers. Save him. Can’t let him die. One strike from Adam and Alastor’s history. You’ll be free. Wait. No!

Your hands moved as you brought out a spare blank book, you opened it and the winds picked up around you. The pages all came out, flying around you. You teleported between your enemy and your (potential lover) friend

The moment you activated your teleportation, you made your peace, you love having Alastor around you. You love his presence. You love him

Note: I ended up writing too much again. And what's with all those asks suddenly??? So shocked to get that. What ever started them???

Circe Y.

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#Circe's Nighty Writings #Circe's requested writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

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kiss-me-cill-me · 2 months

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hear me out:) reader wants to try vanilla sex with Dr.Crane since he always has some kind of twist or experiment when it came down to it. And he ends up doing her against the wall and it’s just really intimate. love your works, and it’s totally fine if this isn’t something you would write🤗

I love a challenge haha ;) And I always enjoy getting to explore different sides of a character. While he might not be nice in most of my fics, I do think that Crane has a sweet side. Somewhere in there lmao. Thank you for requesting, anon!

V. planifolia

Pairing: Jonathan Crane x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Your boyfriend comes home unexpectedly early, and you take the opportunity to try something new.

Warnings: Smut, dom/sub dynamics, mentions of bondage, mentions of edging, slight overstim, dirty talk, dumbification if you squint, dare I say... some domestic fluff? (in MY Jonathan Crane?!), established boyfriend/girlfriend relationship

A/N: The biggest mental hurdle I had to overcome in writing this was referring to him as "Jonathan" instead of "Crane" lmao. He's just always Crane in my head. And while things are pretty vanilla, he's still sassy, because... well, it is me writing him lol

***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***

You were so used to your boyfriend coming home late that it was almost a surprise when he showed up just thirty minutes after you'd finished dinner.

“Jonathan?” you called, cautiously getting up from the couch to investigate.

You'd heard the sound of a key turning in the lock, so logic dictated that it couldn't have been an intruder. But it was barely seven o’clock, and Jonathan didn't usually get home until after you were already in bed. He worked long hours; he always had. So you were shocked to see him standing there in the entryway, setting down his briefcase as he closed the door behind him.

“Baby? What are you doing home early?”

At the sound of your voice, he looked up. A small smile fluttered over his face; his eyes pale and tired, until they caught a glimpse of you. There was that mischievous little spark that you loved.

“Sorry to startle you,” he replied. “I can leave if you'd like.”

He was joking, and you laughed a little as your arms wrapped around his waist. Your bodies found each other easily, and you felt yourself sink against him in that comfortable way that you knew so well.

“No way - you're not getting away from me that easily,” you teased.

Your lips brushed against his, and Jonathan pulled you in closer until you were kissing him. As you sighed happily, you realized that it had been - approximately - forever since the last time you'd had an evening alone with him. You pulled away and looked back at him softly; gentle concern tinting your eyes.

“I'm happy you're home, but is everything okay?” you asked. “You really are back early.”

“Everything’s fine,” he assured you.

Jonathan gave you one more squeeze before he gently broke the hug, trailing off in the direction of the living room. You followed, a small skip already creeping into your step. Your smile threatened to break out at any moment. It was so good to have him home.

You watched from the doorway as Jonathan dropped heavily onto the couch, leaning his head back to look up at the ceiling as he sat. His jacket was already thrown over the back of a chair, and he rolled up his shirtsleeves, not watching what he was doing.

“I know that I haven't been home much,” he continued. His voice seemed to fill the room, making the small space feel even more intimate. “Work has been eating me alive.”

“I hope not literally,” you joked.

Though you could never be sure. Some of the patients he worked with at Arkham were… unique, to say the least.

“Not yet.”

He lifted his head to look over at you, briefly, before reclining again and throwing an arm over his face. Even with his eyes shielded, you could still feel the lingering, icy cold rush of his gaze. You walked over and knelt at his feet, helping him to remove his shoes.

As you tugged at the laces, you felt a surge of devotion wash over you. Jonathan always worked hard. Even though, yes, he wasn't around much during the week, he made sure to provide for you. In fact, you were sure that was all part of the reason why he so often worked late.

Once his shoes were off, you let your soft fingers drift up his leg, brushing against the fabric of his trousers.

“Did you have dinner? Do you want something to eat?”

“Maybe later,” Jonathan replied, as he took hold of your wrist.

Gently, he pulled you until you were standing up, and then until you were straddling him, your knees pressed into his sides.

“Is there anything else I can get you?” you asked, settling into his lap.

As you spoke, your hands came up to rest on his shoulders. Kneading into his tension, you could feel as his arms relaxed under your touch.

“I just want to spend time with you.”

His fingers trailed over your thigh, and you knew instantly what he meant.

“Oh, so that's why you're home early,” you teased.

You leaned in to kiss him again, this time slipping a finger to hook under the knot of his tie, pulling him closer to you. His tongue brushed against yours, and it sent an electric jolt down your spine.

“Aren't I allowed to miss you?” he teased back.

You felt your cheeks heat up. Both of you knew very well that Jonathan was always the one in charge in the bedroom, and hearing him talk as if you were the one who imposed rules on him made you feel flustered.

“You have no idea,” he continued, “how hard it is to work late, when all I can think about is how you’re here all alone. Waiting up for me. You've been good though, right? Haven't been touching yourself without me?”

The heat on your cheeks deepened, traveling all the way down to your core.

“O-of course not,” you replied, cursing the way your voice caught in your throat. It was just like him to somehow have you wrapped fully around his finger less than five seconds in. “You know I wouldn't.”

Jonathan hummed, and pushed your hips up and off of his lap as he brought a hand down to brush softly over your clit. You jumped, even feeling him through all your clothing, and your knuckles stretched tightly over his shoulders.

“Seems like you're telling the truth…”

And you were. You melted into his touch as Jonathan swirled his fingers against you, pressing them roughly. After going without for so long, every nerve felt as if it was on fire in between your legs.

“Ohh…”

Your soft sigh earned you more pressure from Jonathan; his fingers nearly digging into your clothed cunt. You rocked your hips, desperately throwing your head back as you held onto his shoulders for support.

“Stop,” he ordered.

“Mmmmmph.”

Your petulant whine filled the room, and your frustration only grew as Jonathan took his hand away. His command had been gentle, but you were so needy that it felt like torture.

Swiftly, Jonathan stood up and took you with him. Still holding onto your hips for support, he made sure your feet were on the ground before stepping forward. He backed you up with him, until your shoulder blades hit the far wall.

“I really have been away for too long, haven't I?” he breathed, filling your mouth with the taste of anticipation.

“It's okay… I know you're busy at work.”

“You're too nice,” Jonathan sighed. “I want to hear just how badly you’ve missed me.”

Almost instantly, he got what he wanted as you cried out, shocked by the way his leg pushed eagerly between yours. He pressed harder, still looming over you.

“That's better.”

“Jonathan-”

“Want me to tie you up like I did last time?” he interrupted. “Or do you want to try something new?”

It was impossible to miss the hint of excitement in his deep voice. You moaned as he dragged your hips down even harder, pressing your bodies together with an intensity that was almost too much.

“I- was thinking it might be nice to try something a bit different,” you answered, your voice slightly fragmented as he unbuttoned your pants.

“Mmm. You have any ideas?”

You took a deep breath. What you had in mind probably wasn't the same as whatever twisted idea was running through Jonathan’s head. It wasn't that you didn't like experimenting. It was just… you didn't like doing it all the time.

“I was thinking… what if we just took things slow?” you ventured.

“What? Like you want me to edge you?”

“No, not… exactly like that.”

It was getting harder to articulate, as Jonathan’s mouth latched onto your neck, sucking and biting as he moved up toward your jaw.

“Like what, then?” he whispered wickedly, right in your ear.

“Like… what if we were just kinda… gentle?”

Jonathan pulled back to look at you, the slight hint of a frown on his lips.

“But you like when I'm rough with you.”

“I do!” you rushed to agree. “It’s just that… sometimes I want you to be slow and sensual.”

Your arms inched up to hook round his neck, and you pulled him in for a soft kiss, trying to show him what you wanted. Jonathan was stiff at first, but eventually he melted into the slow movement of your lips.

When the kiss broke, Jonathan took a step back, removing his thigh from between your legs. He pushed his hands under your waistband and started to, very slowly, shove the fabric down over your hips.

“We can try that,” he relented. Then added with a mischievous wink, “But if you get bored… just let me know.”

You hummed as his hands slid over your curves, dragging your pants down with them. Jonathan never did anything halfheartedly, and if you wanted it slow, then that was exactly how he would give it to you. Even if it did drive you crazy in the process.

Your slacks fell, pooling below you on the hard floor. Jonathan paused for a moment, before planting a kiss on the exposed skin below where your blouse had started to fall away. He pushed back your collar, to kiss more and then send a shiver right after, as he breathed over the wetness that had been left behind by his mouth.

He stood up straight, pressing an airy kiss to your forehead as his fingers trailed over the lace of your panties.

“Am I doing it how you want me to, darling?” he asked.

You felt yourself swoon again. You weren't used to him following your lead quite like this, but you liked it. A lot.

As was clearly evidenced by the wet spot that had started to seep through the fabric that Jonathan was toying with. He found the trace of your arousal easily enough, and pressed two of his fingers into the damp cotton.

“Nevermind. I have my answer.”

Slipping your already-ruined panties to the side, Jonathan brushed his fingers over your core before bringing them up to your clit. Swirling with just the right kind of pressure, he dragged a soft moan from your lips.

“Oh my god,” you sighed. “Keep going.”

He kissed you, slowly but sinfully, swallowing all of your breathy sighs and words of admiration as they slipped out. It was impossible to contain them, especially when you started to feel his own arousal as it pressed up against your hip, seeming to grow more impatient the harder he got.

“Jonathan- so close,” you whined, breathless already.

“You sure you don't want me to edge you?” he asked, maybe a little hopefully.

“No - please, let me come.”

The pressure was already building. Soon, neither of you would have any choice in the matter. You just had to get him to keep going, long enough for you to push past the point of no return.

“Well, if you're asking so nicely…”

Another searing kiss sealed your fate, and you scrambled to hang onto Jonathan as you felt yourself start to crumble.

He held you, still pressed firm against the wall, and you heard a deep chuckle resound from his throat.

“Good to know even this kind of stuff makes you a mess,” Jonathan droned. “Or maybe you're just so used to me doing everything I want to you, that this actually counts as variety now.”

You were barely listening to him; still too distracted by the delightfully sore feeling that seemed to permeate your whole body.

What you did notice was him slipping your panties the rest of the way off, letting them fall at your feet before gently guiding you to step out of them. With that done, he turned his attention to your blouse, delicately removing it and then tossing it to the side.

Your hands came up clumsily to paw at the buttons on his shirt, trying in vain to release them. Jonathan saw you were struggling, and gave you a small, knowing smile.

“Let me help, darling. It seems like you're having some trouble.”

You moved your hands to let Jonathan take over. He loosened his tie easily, and popped three of his buttons. But, quickly, he lost interest, and instead moved to unzip his pants.

When he finally sprang free, his cock hit your still-throbbing clit.

“Ah!” you hissed.

“Still sensitive?” Jonathan asked, rubbing himself leisurely against you.

Your only response was a whimper, but that was answer enough. Jonathan’s lips curled into a wicked smile, as he hovered close to your ear.

“Hold still,” he teased, reaching down to line himself up.

You squirmed, fighting within yourself as half of you wanted to scream at the sensation while the rest of you, conversely, needed to grind down harder. Every contact made you jump, and as he pressed in, you saw stars.

“Jonathan…”

You had expected him to start moving, but instead he held off. Staying right where he was, Jonathan paused so that you could feel just how completely he filled you.

“Everything okay?” he asked, sickly sweet voice dripping into your ears.

“Fuck,” you replied.

He laughed.

“You’ve lost quite a bit of your usual eloquence.” He started to drag himself out. “But okay. Since you asked nicely again…”

As he pressed back in, slow but rough, you couldn’t help letting out an undignified sound. Jonathan smirked.

When he did it again, your whole body shifted, pressed up by the force of his thrust. Your head rolled back, hitting the wall lightly before lolling off to the side.

“You’re so pretty,” he sighed.

As he spoke, he reached down to hook one of your legs up and over his waist. The new angle caused you to let out another choked whine, which earned you an even harder thrust.

“Maybe we should do this more often. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you like this.”

You could only imagine how you must have looked. Mouth hanging open and eyes half-shut, rolling back into your head from the pleasure as your chest heaved and your knees gave out. Jonathan smoothed a thumb over the edge of your jaw.

“Even though I can’t stop thinking about all of the other things I’d like to do to you,” he added, punctuating the sentiment with his hips. You swore you felt him shudder.

Kissing your suddenly-warm neck, Jonathan thrust into you again. Your hips snapped back weakly to meet him, and you heard yourself start to moan. You held onto him tighter, dragging your nails down his arms.

“I thought you wanted to be gentle?” he teased.

He hadn't been going very fast, but now he slowed down entirely. For a moment, the two of you stood, face to face, your breath and his in a sweltering mix, pooling out in the scant space between you.

Jonathan’s forehead came to rest against yours, and you looked up into the blur of his eyes. Two hazy pools of blue ice that were filling your vision completely.

“Want me to speed up?”

“No, this is nice,” you replied. A bit dreamily as your senses took time to adjust. Your skin prickled at his touch as he brushed a hand lazily up your arm.

“I can be slow then,” he laughed. “But it might be too hard if you keep looking at me like that.”

“How should I look at you, hm?” you teased.

“Like you’re pretending you don't want to be turned around with your wrists pinned up against the wall,” he teased back.

He pressed into you, exploring how deep he could go before you started writhing against him. Your leg on his waist tightened, pulling him in and holding him firmly in place for a kiss.

You knew he might take some convincing, but you were prepared to take all night to show Jonathan just how good things could be, after practicing a little patience.

#jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #jonathan crane #LemmyFics

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stariekis · 3 months

Text

"this reminded me of you"

🛋️ pairing : 엔하이픈 ot7 + gn!reader . genre : fluff . cw : kisses and jungwon part can be kinda suggestive (?) but nothing more .

— synopsis : how they would react if you told them that something reminds you of them.

— notes : this kind of thing makes me the happiest girl ever and i know they would love that too ) : my babies .. n e waysss hope you guys enjoy it ⭐ all kinds of feedback and repost are appreciated as always, sending you the biggest kiss ever ! ~

heeseung :

you went shopping with some of your friends for the evening and, when you came back home, he saw a bag hiding behind your back — 'what's that babe? can i see?' your eyes were full of speciation as you gave him the paper bag, he opened it and found a little toy story figure inside. he laughed but not in a this-is-ridiculous way he actually loved it so much that as soon as he took it out of the bag he runs to your bedroom and place the little figure beside the other ones he already had. — 'i had to buy it, i knew you would love it' you said, standing behind him. he turned around and hugged you thanking you for the present.

jay :

he is not a materialistic type of guy, he loves buying you presents but hates when you spend money on him. this being said, i think he would prefer if you told him that you saw something that reminds you of him. for example, you know how much jay loves guitars and one day on your way home you came across a instrument shop that recently opened. when you came home you told him right away — 'i thought of you as soon as i saw it, i want to take you there' you said, clinging to one of his arms and shaking it softly. he had the biggest smiles plastered on his face, not only because you thought about him but because you seems more excited than him about going there even though you aren't very interested.

jake :

one of your friends told you some time ago about a new coffee shop that just opened near your house, they have tons of puppies there that you can pet while you enjoy a cup of something. as soon as your friend said the word puppies you knew that you have to take your boyfriend there. him being the number one fan of dogs would be very happy to be there, and you weren't wrong. you didn't told him where you guys were going but as soon as he discovered it he became the happiest men alive, hugging you so tight that you felt out of breath even — 'i love you so so much i know i say it a lot but i love you babe really' he said, still hugging your waist. both of you spend the whole evening there, taking pictures of each other and playing with the little puppies. apparently taking him there was an amazing idea.

sunghoon :

you wanted to give him a special present for his birthday. he spent the last two weeks talking about a specific camera that he have been wanting to get but didn't have time to actually get it, he seems pretty upset about so you took matters into your hands and when to the store to buy it for him. the day of his birthday you woke him up, breakfast all served and a small box next to it. — 'open the present first then we can eat' you said while he sits on the chair, you were standing right next to him. when he unwrapped the present he looked at you with shocked eyes — 'you like it ? i remember how much you wanted and i got it for you' he stands up taking you on his arms and spinning you around whispering thank yous in your ear. — 'i need an album to fill it with pictures of you now'.

sunoo :

he is always posting pics of different sunsets and night skies on weverse so i know for a fact that he would love to recibe a picture that you took of a pretty sunset and a 'it remind me of you' message following right after. he would be giggling and kicking his feets in his room, thinking that such a pretty scenery reminds you of him makes him all giddy inside. he would answer you with something like 'it's so pretty my love but you are even prettier'. he promised you that next time he would take you to his favorite spot so both of you could watch the sunset together and take pictures of it.

jungwon :

— 'where are we going ? are you kidnapping me or what ?' you laugh at his comment. jungwon loves to spend time far away from the city, he loves nature and the loneliness of the forest so you thought that renting a wooden cottage for the both of you would be an amazing plan. you blindfolded him before getting in the car because you wanted to surprise him, that's why he was making those comments earlier. — 'shut up, we are almost there silly '. once you both were in front of the door you took the fabric that covered his eyes out, his jaw falling as soon as he realized where you guys where. — 'baby this is crazy i don't know what to say' you laugh at his expression as you opened the door. — 'and is all ours' you said, turning to him and taking one of the strings of his hoodie pulling him inside. a slight smirk adoring his face.

ni-ki :

you were in japan visiting his family. you both had one day to spend together, he wanted to show you around without his sisters around taking you away from him all the time. as you both walked down the streets you saw a shop that's sells vintage clothes, and those where ni-ki's favorite type of clothes. he always says that old clothes are the coolest so as soon as you saw that small shop you took your boyfriend's hand in yours and pulled him towards the entrance. — 'i didn't know this shop was here' he said after entering, turning to you — 'i knew you would like it, go on look around a bit you might find something you like' he took your face in his hands and close the gap between you, kissing you softly and mouthing a soft thank you after. you spend approximately two hours inside that small shop, ni-ki choosing different outfits for you and also trying some clothes for him.

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slashers-little-cum-dumpster · 4 months

Text

slashers x reader:

who fell first and who fell to late,

who fell first and who fell harder

who fell and who never will :)

not proof read :)

Michael myers:

you fell first and he fell too late:

You were supposed to be just another victim

you fell for him seeing him watch from a distance for days now

you decided to take a chance and ask him out so you walked up to him

he stabbed you before you could speak

after a minute of just staring at you dead on the ground he felt tears sting his eyes

he refused to cry as it showed weakness but he still thinks of you in the back of his mind

brahms:

he fell first you feel too late:

think of it like Greta

but you soon realised you wanted Brahms so you left your boyfriend

but it was too late Brahms got rid of your ex

not knowing that you wanted him not that it was yours time to go he stabbed you

you can definitely tell how shocked he was to hear your last words being

"I love you"

he never got over you

billy lenz:

you fell first he never fell:

you thought his little calls were kinda funny so you would stay on call

to him you were just another "piggy"

once you were dead he could just pick off another sister

sorry to burst the delulu :) but he seems like a fuck and done kinda guy

Carrie White:

she fell first you fell too late:

you never bullied her

you always stood up for her

she loved you for that

but at the night of prom her other crush asked her to prom when you finally fell for her

then that prank happened

you got set ablaze like the others...

Vincent sinclair:

you fell first he fell too late:

your friend car broke down and while getting it looked at you wondered off

you found the wax museum and went in

you saw Vincent there and instantly fell for him

you went of to have a one sided conversation with him for a few hours

Bo wasn't happy to see that you were alive and chatting vincents ear off

so he left after telling Vincent to kill you

he did

as he was making you into a wax figure he stopped half way

he liked that dumb conversation

he liked you

he decided to have you displayed in his bed so he could hold you

her drew you everyday in different outfits and settings

(I WANT HIM 😍😍😍)

Bo sinclair

you fell first he fell to late:

same as vincent but you stayed with Bo and your friend wondered off

you spent a few minutes making dumb flirting attempts but soon gave up and ended up wondering off

you met Lester when you wondered off and you both hit it off quite well but he took you to vincent

Bo on the other hand thought you were a little weird but... cute?

so he went to go try his luck to see if you were still interested when he couldn't find you he panicked

went to make sure he was still in time

he opened the door to the wax museum and was greeted by your wax figure

(cutie)

Lester sinclair:

you fell first he fell harder:

he would've found your terrible flirts cute and would reciprocate them

he hid you from his brothers at first

I don't see him taking long to fall in love but he won't be easy so you gotta work for it :)

(I do requests)

#slasher fucker #michael myers x reader #slashers x reader #billy lenz x reader #slashers x you #carrie white x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #brahms heelshire x reader

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soneblomsblog · 4 months

Note

Hi, could you do cha Hyun su x pregnant fem reader just were reader doesn’t tell Hyun su she’s pregnant in season 1 but find out after a small boy runs into the hospital lost but hears Hyun su am,Ah-yi and Eunyu voices and you come in shortly after finds him and it’s revealed after thinking she died

In the desolate corridors of the transformed Green Home, where monstrous creatures roamed freely, the I stumbled upon a discovery that would forever alter the course of my already horrible life well expect I founded out I'm pregnant with Hyun-soo child.

The revelation came with a mix of fear and hope. Fear, because bringing a child into a world overrun by abominations seemed almost cruel, and hope, because the unborn life within me held the promise of something beautiful amid the chaos.

As the days unfolded, I kept the secret guarded, grappling with the uncertainty that surrounded our survival. I couldn't bring myself to burden Hyun Soo with the news, unsure of how he would react in a world teetering on the edge of madness.

After the collapse of Green Home apartments I decided to spilt with the group without anyone knowing it definitely brought with it new challenges, but I had to protect my baby and keep my secret safe. Then, one day, a small boy, lost and frightened, stumbled into the hospital where Hyun Soo, Ah Yi, and Eunyo was. I turned my back for a second and when I looked back my little boy ran into the hospital making me ran after him fearing for our life when I didn't know what was behind those doors

Heart pounding, I raced into the hospital, only to find chaos and confusion. Hyun Soo, his protective instincts on high alert, attempted to calm the boy while Ah Yi and Eunyo watched with wide eyes. I quickly scanned the room until they locked onto the person I thought I would never see in my life agian.

Without a second thought, I rushed into the room, breathless and terrified. Hyun Soo turned to me, his eyes widening in disbelief. For a moment, it felt as if time had frozen—his gaze locked with me and looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"I thought you were...," he began, unable to finish the sentence as a whirlwind of emotions played across his face.

"I'm here," I said, tears brimming in my eyes. "I'm alive."

The lost boy, now safely in Hyun Soo's arms, looked between the two with innocent curiosity. As the realization sank in, Hyun Soo's eyes widened further, a myriad of emotions settling in his gaze.

"Mommy!" yelled my little boy as he saw me standing there. Shocked still Hyun-soo asked "You were pregnant? But who-" "its you" thats all I said as I picked up my son looking Hyun-soo in the eyes. Alot has changed I noted.

Cha hyun soo eyes flickered to their blue color making me stare in surprise and wonder.

Why didn't you tell him you're pregnant. Oh how happy he no sorry we would be. We were so angry and sad when we couldn't find you.

Hyun-soo walking closer looking at my son in my arms then at me. Unexpectedly he pulled me into a hug. He looked at us especially our son with admiration and at me with look of love.

Don't ever leave us agian. You're ours Mine our child and no one will separate us agian or I'll kill them

#kdrama x reader #sweet home x reader #sweet home #x reader #cha hyun soo x reader #imagines #requests

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wardenparker · 2 months

Text

For Valentine's Day

Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit Word Count: 12.2k Warnings: Cursing, mentions of food and alcohol, taking care of a baby in the post-apocalypse, Ellie being a big sister, established relationship, mentions of breastfeeding, fingering, unprotected sex, praise, talk of birth control methods. Summary: You, Joel, Ellie, and Caroline arrive in Jackson to find the town getting ready to celebrate Valentine's Day. Notes: These darling dears were long overdo for a visit, so Happy Valentine's Day from the post-apocalypse! The rest of the 'For' series can be found on my Masterlist if you haven't read it yet!

Jackson is like another world. Joel is on edge, despite the friendly faces. Despite the relative safety of the town. He had been shocked to see Tommy here. Thriving, when Joel has lost so much to find him. To find that he isn’t needed. Although, he’s relieved to find a safe little spot for his baby girl and for you. Relieved that a comfortable house is available for you to rest in. It still baffles him to find an entire town getting ready for Valentine’s Day.

The trip was grueling, although all four of you made it in one piece. There were a hell of a lot of days that you weren’t sure if you would make it at all — but that wasn’t really an option. Not with Caroline sleeping on your chest in the homemade wrap carrier that Joel had helped you fashion out of ripped sheets you’d found and washed in an abandoned house along the way. You’ve been bonding with Ellie along the way, and she’s pretty good with Caroline, but your little girl is the reason you’ve been fighting so hard. Now that you’re in Jackson you don’t really know what’s going to happen with you and Joel. All you know is that you have four walls and a roof again, and Caroline is safe.

“Why are there so many hearts everywhere?” Ellie asks Joel, looking around as decorations are put up and the snow crunches under his new boots as he shoves his hands back in his pockets. “Holiday.” He grunts, sure that the kid is fucking with him. She seems to know all the old holidays anyway.

“Have you ever heard of Valentine’s Day?” Who knows what she learned in that FEDRA school back in Boston, or if anyone even thinks about Valentine’s Day anymore — outside of Jackson. You can't even believe that this town is decorating and getting ready for some mass celebration. It's surreal. And a little Hallmark. But in the post-apocalypse? It's amazing in a way you didn't even know you wanted.

“You mean that commercial holiday where men bought their ladies chocolate and flowers, took them on expensive dates?” Ellie asks with a smirk on her face. “You know, they said that soooooo many people proposed on Valentine’s Day. Or made babies.”

"That...is not wrong," you admit, ruffling her hair as you walk alongside the teen with little Caroline strapped to your front. "I guess the folks here are trying to keep as many older traditions alive as they can."

“So what are you going to do for Valentine’s Day?” Her voice takes on a sly, teasing tone and she cuts her eyes over to Joel, who’s shoulder seem inches higher than they just were. “Make a sibling for Caroline?”

"She already has a sibling." When the dubious teen wrinkles her nose at you in confusion, you knock her shoulder and offer her the warmest, softest smile. The real one — not one that teases or has expectations. "You, Ellie. You've been an amazing sister to her on this whole trip."

“Oh.” Her cheeks turn bright red and she ducks her head down slightly, but you don’t miss the proud look on her face. “She’s not so bad.” She huffs. “For a baby.”

"You're not so bad, either." A soft laugh escapes you, and you duck your own head to press a kiss to the top of Caroline's covered head. "For a teenager."

“The baby ready for a nap?” Joel asks. “It’s been a while.”

"We're almost home. I'll lay her down when we get in." The trip into town had been necessary, but Caroline had gotten fussy while Joel was talking to his brother and stepping outside had been practical. It's definitely naptime, no two ways about that. Especially not the way your little girl has been on the verge of tears for half the walk.

“Do you want me to hold her?” Joel asks. Knowing that it’s been a struggle keeping her calm and maybe you need a break.

"She might calm down a little for Daddy." Typically Caroline seems to find being held by Joel to be soothing or at least enough of a novelty to distract her from whatever was upsetting her, and you pause in your steps to carefully extract Caroline from her nest on your chest to hand over to Joel.

His hands are always gentle holding Caroline. As if he is scared to possibly hurt her or stain her with his blood-soaked hands. “Hey, baby girl.” He coos, smiling down at her tear-stained face. “Why so grumpy?”

His little girl — your little girl whimpers and moans a little but the tears stop flowing and you end up chuckling wryly under your breath. “I’m the one who brought her into the world and took care of her for months all alone and she’s still a Daddy’s girl. Go figure.” There’s no heat in it, no malice of any kind. After two months on the road together, you’re thrilled to see the pair of them still bonding so well.

"She's grumpy because she's yours." Ellie snorts, rolling her eyes and grinning when Joel cuts his eyes at her for a moment before looking back at Caroline. "See? Same grumpy looks."

“Like father, like daughter,” you tease, needling Joel’s arm with one finger.

He rolls his eyes and shuffles Caroline onto his shoulder, rubbing her back softly. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s get you out of the cold and into a clean diaper.” He murmurs. “Then we’ll see if you’ll get some sleep so you aren’t as grumpy as your old man.”

The house that was bestowed upon you is just a little further out from downtown and when the four of you get inside, Caroline’s trusty basket is right where you left it in the living room. “She’ll want to eat when she gets up, but I can manage that.” Managing to breastfeed here and there still works, but it’s good that there have been foods that Joel can feed her, too. “If you put her down, I can take care of her when she wakes up.”

“She had a rough night.” Joel argues softly. Caroline was a little under the weather, so she had been fussy. You had wanted to stay up with her, and now you look ready to drop. “Go take a nap and I’ll get her highness when she wakes up, okay?”

“Thank you, honey.” It’s an easy reflex to brush a kiss on Joel’s lips now, and you offer him a smile before pacing past him to fall into the bed that the two of you share upstairs.

Joel gently lays Caroline down, having a supply of cloth diapers and pins nearby. “Hey, baby girl. We’re gonna get you all clean and dry in just a minute.” He promises, finding it easier than he had imagined to fall back into a routine with taking care of a baby. It was decades ago, but he remembers soothing Sarah’s tears as he fought against diaper rash and colic with her.

“So.” Ellie smirks, leaning against the archway into the living room like the absolute picture of adolescence. “What’re you gonna do for her for Valentine’s Day?”

“Do for her?” Joel snorts, not looking up from his task since Caroline likes to pee on an unsuspecting victim when she’s being changed. “What do you mean?”

“The mother of your damn baby, Miller.” Ellie huffs, also as grumpy as her father figure. “There’s a whole holiday about love and romance and they celebrate it here.”

He frowns, realizing that you might have some kind of expectation given the atmosphere around town. “I’ve never been good at that kind of thing.” He admits.

“You can’t do nothing,” the teen argues, keeping her voice down so she won’t disturb the baby or be heard upstairs.

“Yeah.” He grunts, aware of that now. He has never really had to do Valentine’s Day. Unless you counted getting Sarah those boxed Valentine’s for her classes. “I’ll think of something.”

“What’s Tommy doing?” She might not know much about Joel’s brother, but she knows he has a wife and figures he must have a plan of some kind. “He might have an idea you can steal.”

“Haven’t asked.” Joel shrugs, carefully pinning the new diaper to Caroline with a slight frown.

“Probably should.” But Ellie shrugs. It’s no skin off her nose if the grumpiest old man in the world is bad at romance.

He pauses and looks up at Ellie suspiciously. “Has she said something to you?” He asks seriously.

“No.” If you had, she would have been kicking his ass about it a lot harder and a lot sooner. “But she deserves something nice. For like…putting up with us.”

You do put up with them. He snorts and lifts a brow. “Don’t you mean puts up with you?” He jokes. “She happens to like my grumpy ass just the way it is.”

“All the more reason to be nice.” As if he has proven her point completely, Ellie smirks. “Nice and romantic.”

“What do you know about romance, twerp?” He scoffs and shoots her a grin. “You’re too busy scaring off the girl that is interested in you.”

“S’not my fault your scary rubbed off on me,” she gripes in turn. “And you don’t know she likes me. Shut up.”

“You were scary before I met you, kid.” He chuckles, smirking slightly at the mortified expression on her face. “Maybe you’d find out if you didn’t run her off.” He suggests. “Talk to her.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t run off.” Ellie’s characteristic huff comes with a frown and a whole lot of blustering now that she’s the one being called out and she pushes away from the doorframe with a near-stamp of her feet. “Whatever, old man. I was trying to help you.”

“Yeah, you are.” He acknowledges with a grin. “Imma put her down and then run talk to Tommy. You good with listening out for her? She should sleep the entire time.”

“Fine.” Anything to end the torture, though Ellie does smirk that she might have given Joel a good kick in the ass.

He snorts to himself as he lifts a now sleepy Caroline to his shoulder. Patting her but as he moves over to her downstairs bassinet. It’s was odd, you had carried Caroline in a worn out sling and then luckily found a new one on the way, but supplies and space for them had been so limited, now his daughter has a downstairs sleeping area and one right in the room you share with Joel

******

“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Despite the cold, Tommy is out on his porch when he spots Joel walking up the road, and he leans over the banister with a dash of curiosity in his shit-eating grin. Any time his big brother comes to him for just about anything, he still considers it a win. “Back again so soon?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Joel shoots Tommy a half-hearted glare and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You got a minute?”

“Sure.” Tommy’s head bobs in agreement. “You wanna come in?”

“Maria home?” Joel asks, not quite sure if it’s a good idea. Tommy’s wife doesn’t seem to be his biggest fan and he can only assume it’s because his brother told his wife some of the things that Joel has done to protect the people he cares about over the years.

“Nah.” The younger Miller brother shakes his head and stands on creaky bones to open the door for them. “She’s got meetings today. I don’t pretend to know everything she has to deal with, but she comes home to a warm house and dinner on the table, so I guess I’m doing something right.”

“Well, ain’t you a good little house husband?” Joel snorts, busting his brother’s balls a little. The man had been a pain in his ass hellraiser when he was younger. Before outbreak. It’s nice to see him get to enjoy domesticity once again.

“Hell yes I am.” But Tommy snorts too, knowing it’s a far cry from the kid he used to be. As it turns out, the end of the world and the love of a good woman can change a man. “You think I’m not gonna do everything I can to keep that wife of mine? ‘Course I am.”

Tommy was always the optimist, something that Joel had lost after Sarah’s mother had left. He had been too busy trying to raise her right, and then he lost her. Joel frowns for a second and then nods. “And how are you doing that with this Valentine’s thing?”

“Not as easily as I would have before,” Tommy admits, but that’s also a pretty obvious thing to say. Nothing is as easy as it was before. “That cache of movies they’ve got has plenty to pick from and they’re screening…” He thinks for a second, hard, and shrugs. “Some damn 90s chick flick. I dunno, but she’s excited. And since she’s been eating carrots like a bunny with this pregnancy, I’m makin’ her a whole meal centered around it for dinner.”

“Carrots.” He snorts and smirks at his younger brother. “Your kid is gonna come out and say “what’s up doc?”.” He sniggers, imitating the cartoon character from long ago.

“At this point I wouldn’t be surprised.” It makes Tommy laugh though, and he puts a glass of water in front of Joel before pouring one for himself. “Watcha need?” He asks, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“It’s about….” He looks down at the water and says your name. “The kid says I need to do something for her. For putting up with my shit.”

“Smart kid.” But still, Tommy frowns. “Are you…not together? Is that it? Or am I not gettin’ something here?”

“We were together one time.” Joel murmurs. “And we had a kid.” He shakes his head and looks back down at his hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the baby. Caroline is sweet and her momma-“ he sighs. “She’s too good for me really, but she wants to be with me.”

“Just one time?” An impressed and slightly disbelieving whistle escapes Tommy’s lips. “Do you…wanna tell me what happened? Or is that topic off limits?”

“You remember that supply run I made right after you left to go out west?” Even though he had been with the Fireflies, Joel had told Tommy his plans, hoping he would come along.

“Sure. You left the day after I did.” That had been the plan at the time, anyway. He can’t be sure that’s when Joel actually left.

“Came across her in an abandoned house.” He smirks slightly as remembers your surprise and his own reaction to your beauty. “Bunked down together for the night.”

“Ah.” The younger of the two men chuckles in acknowledgement. He can very easily see Joel trading sex the way he traded favors and sold drugs. “And she found you again? Afterward?” He guesses.

“She told me where she was from.” Joel explains. “After we got in trouble in the city and lost Bill’s truck, we headed there. Hoping that we could somehow find someone with a car.”

“And maybe hoping to run into her?” He doesn’t believe it happened by accident. That Joel hadn’t been thinking about you when he decided to go to wherever you were from. He knows his brother better than that.

“She had told me she was going west sometime.” He gives a half shrug, but that is why he had chosen to go so far out of his way.

"Cut the bullshit, Joel," Tommy smirks, knowing that his brother's ability to evade admitting to emotion is legendary. He's been like this for most of his life. Since his wife left. And that is what it is. But Tommy knows Joel well enough to know that he doesn't go out of the way for just anyone. "If you don't want to be with her that's one thing, but you protected her and that baby all the way from the east coast."

He could argue that he has an obligation to you because of the baby. Caroline is his daughter, but it’s just delaying the inevitable admittance of wanting to be with you. “So what the fuck do I do for her, Casanova?” He huffs, scowling at his brother and wondering why the fuck he came to him for advice. “She’s too fucking good for me and I know it. All the women in my life have been.”

“Well you’re taking her to the movie, right?” It’s not exactly a common thing to be able to do, and is therefore a pretty damn big special occasion in the world you all live in now. “Even if you didn’t do anything else, you gotta do that.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Joel likes movies, used to love them back in the days before the world burned. “She likes books, maybe I can try to find her favorite?”

“We made a library in town of all the books that were left in everybody’s houses,” Tommy tells him with a nod. “Same way we got all the movies we screen. If you’ve got a bookworm, I think a library card counts as romantic.”

“That night…” Joel looks down at his hands and smiles slightly at the memory. “She was reading a book to me that was sexy.” He huffs out a chuckle. “Guess she seduced me with her reading abilities.”

"Fell for brains, huh?" That makes his brother chuckle, and Tommy leans back in his seat with a grin. "Maybe you can talk to Jana — the woman who runs the library — and arrange a little date there? Rekindle a little romance?" He's trying to help as best he can, knowing that old chestnuts like taking you out for a fancy dinner or taking a little weekend trip away can't happen with the world the way it is. He could be patronizing and tell Joel to hurry up and make an honest woman of you, but that is also something that's changed in this world. Not everyone feels the need for the formality of a marriage anymore.

“That would be good.” Joel doesn’t sound completely convinced. “Although I’m sure jewelry would be better. Even now.”

With one eyebrow raised, Tommy cocks his head at his brother. “What kind of jewelry were you thinkin?”

“Somethin’ to celebrate Caroline. And give her something pretty.” Joel hadn’t quite thought it through but most women loved the thought of jewelry.

“Earrings? Necklace?” The way Tommy wants to pry is nearly a physical necessity at this point. “Whatever’s in the house you guys have moved into, wrap it up. Consider it our gift to you guys for being part of the town.”

“Was thinking about a necklace but I don’t know.” He frowns slightly. “Maybe a ring?” He looks up at his brother. “You didn’t remove the valuables from the house?”

“What’s jewelry worth in the apocalypse?” It’s something that only had to be worried about in the cities, it seems like. In the places where FEDRA still reigned. In the places where appearances still mattered. “We took the tools, the resources, split them all up evenly or kept them in reserve, depending on what they were. “Whatever water, food, warm clothing, shit like that? That’s what matters. Not jewelry.”

“True.” Joel shakes his head. “See why I’m not good at shit like this?” He huffs. “Too bad I can’t build her a stroller for the baby.”

“I mean I don’t think you would find very good suspension, but we can get you the stuff to build an old fashioned one.” Tommy snaps his fingers in quick succession, thinking hard. “What the fuck were they called? The one from black and white photos? Prambutrators?”

“Prams.” Why Joel knows that, he doesn’t have a clue. But like he was watching an old episode of Jeopardy, the answer falls from his lips easily.

“Strollers, but beds.” There’s a longer word for it, Tommy’s sure of that, but he shrugs it off. “You wanna do that for her? We can make it happen.”

“Might be a good idea.” Joel hums thoughtfully. “Especially since you’re about to have your own kid. “Need some way of transporting them when your back is aching.”

"It'll be a family heirloom," Tommy huffs, amusement makes his smile spread all over again.

Joel snorts and he taps the table. “I want to build it.” He decides. “I can find out about the library card and look for something pretty too. She did give birth to my daughter and took care of her alone until I saw her again.”

"So it'll be a big holiday." That seems to please the younger Miller, and he chuckles quietly. "She's a hell of a woman. And deserves it, if for nothing else than putting up with your ass."

Joel rolls his eyes and sighs softly. “I don’t know how much she puts up with me because of the kid and how much is because she’s insane for wanting me.”

"Oh, she's certifiable." Tommy can't help but laugh at that. "But it's obvious she loves you. For whatever that's worth. You can see it on her face."

He doesn’t see it, but he might still be in that stage of disbelief. “I better get back.” He pushes the chair back and stands with a groan. “Told her I’d get Caroline when she woke up. She had a long night with her last night so she’s taking a nap too.”

"Ellie's with the baby now?" It's obvious to everyone else in the world that Joel has taken in the teenager with the same ferocity that he's taken to his infant. It's who he is.

“Yeah.” He can’t help the soft smirk on his face as he thinks about the two of his three girls. “She’s taken on the role of big sister pretty well.”

"Sometimes you gotta get thrown in the deep end to figure out how to swim." Standing with his brother, Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder. "Go get back to 'em. We'll get your building supplies tomorrow."

“Thanks.” Joel’s shoulders relax slightly and he shakes his head. “Still can’t believe we’re gonna have kids that grow up together.”

“Musta done something right to deserve it,” Tommy laughs, the edge of disbelief in his voice obvious. “Can’t figure out what the fuck it was, but it must’ve been good.”

“I— I never actually congratulated you.” Joel murmurs after a moment. He had been a little raw when he realized Tommy had been living a charmed life here and he had lost so much, Tess, Bill and Frank, another piece of his soul, on his way to rescue him. Then Tommy’s disbelief about Caroline and his own budding joy about fatherhood had brought up the loss of Sarah. It hadn’t been pretty, but he had regretted his harshness. He reaches out a hand, hard from the man he had become and the work he had done, to shake Tommy’s. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” The handshake, warm and firm and full of things the Miller brothers aren’t very good at saying out loud, makes Tommy falter and clear his throat a little to push away the emotion. “I, uh…I’m doing my best. And that’s all I can do. Because Maria and the baby deserve the world, but the world is pretty fucked up these days.”

“It’s always been fucked up.” Joel corrects. “Now it’s just more obvious.” He lets go of the hand and shuffles slightly.

“Fair enough, I guess.” Tommy chuckles, but he rubs his hand on the back of his neck. “Did you…need anything else?”

Joel shuffles again and feels like a teenager. “Do any - uh, is there birth control available?” He asks, not wanting to get you pregnant again. At least not now. Although that afterthought shocks him.

A sort of lopsided smirk forms on Tommy’s face, and he chuckles — the sentiment clear as day. “The ladies have developed some interesting but not full proof methods. It’s sort of frontier-style out here. In that regard and a lot of others.”

“Yeah.” Joel nods and sighs. “I’m fucking fifty-six years old, Tommy.” He huffs. “Don’t need to be knockin’ her up every time I’m feelin’ frisky.”

“For her sake way more than yours.” Tommy laughs again. “I’d go see the Doc,” he advises. “She was a general practitioner before the world went to shit, so now she’s our town doc.”

Joel nods, knowing that it needs to be done. Tess couldn’t have anymore kids, so it had never been a problem. You’ve only had sex a few times since being in Jackson, and every time, Joel had pulled out the second you had cum so he could jerk off.

“Sounds like you’re planning a damn good Valentine’s Day,” Tommy teases.

He snorts, shrugging slightly and the slight grin on his face is purely male. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this relaxed. And she’s a damn beautiful woman, who loves me.” He admits, proud of that fact.

“If you’re relaxed with a baby around, that’s proof she’s not your first.” Shaking his head once more, Tommy slaps Joel hard on the shoulder. “Go home to ‘em. I’ll see you tomorrow with the stuff you’ll need to build.”

“Thanks.” He sends Tommy a grateful look and quickly slips out the door. Eager to get back to you, Caroline and Ellie. Even though Jackson is safe, he feels better when you are close.

******

Ellie is sitting beside Caroline’s bassinet in the living room when Joel gets home. Her old, weathered joke book is in her hands and she glances up when the door opens to let Miller inside. “Shhh,” she puts one finger to her lips performatively and whispers. “She’s so fuckin cute when she sleeps.”

“Yes she is.” Joel can agree as he quietly walks over to the bassinet. “She slept the entire time?” He asks the other girl, proud of how easily she’s bonded with her. Despite not like diaper changes, Ellie loves Caroline and would often ask to hold her when you had stopped for the night.

"She fussed a little," Ellie admits, but she holds up her book. "I giggled her off to sleep."

“More like bored her to sleep.” Joel snorts. “You certain she’s still breathing?” He jokes, even though he can see that she is, it’s simply for the pleasure of watching Ellie scowl at him.

"Caroline thinks I'm funny." The teenager defends, though she knows making a baby laugh isn't too hard in the first place. "Even if you don't share our refined sense of humor."

“Yeah.” He huffs and rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to smirk. “Keep telling yourself that, cupcake.”

“Shouldn’t be surprised.” Though it comes with a huff, Ellie keeps her voice down. Caroline is sleeping, after all. “We’re cuter than you, too.”

He shoots Ellie a look that is half amused. “That’s not hard to do.” He admits. “But I’m smarter…..and meaner.”

“You wouldn’t be mean to us.” Ellie bats her eyelashes dramatically, knowing fully fucking well that Joel can be mean. That he has been mean. But never to the baby.

“No, I wouldn’t.” He might have been at one point to the older girl, but now he would die protecting her. “Did you know there’s a library in town?”

“There is?!” Her voice jumps up at that and she immediately ducks as though her volume were some kind of tangible weapon that she needs to get away from the baby immediately. “There is?” She hisses quietly instead.

“Yeah.” Joel chuckles at the way Ellie’s eyes light up. You aren’t the only one with an affinity for reading. “Planning on going over tomorrow to get a card. Wanna come?”

“Hell yes.” The teenager nods with enthusiasm. “Is it a big library?” He must have heard about it from Tommy, which means it’s worth bragging about. Tommy Miller loves to brag about Jackson.

“It’s filling up a store, so it has to be big.” Tommy had told him where to go. “They compiled all the books in town and any they brought in.”

"You're on, old man." Ellie hops up off the sofa, apparently having thought of something either extremely important or just imminently elsewhere that she needs to be. "I hope you're ready to carry books back, cause I'm getting out as many as they'll let me."

“Bring a bag, brat.” He reaches out to swipe her head with his hand, to mess up her ponytail, but she ducks. “Where are you going?” It’s a safety question, even though the town is safe. He still wants to know.

"Upstairs." She assures him. "I'm not leaving after dark."

“Good.” Joel lifts a brow. “Keep it that way. Even though it’s safe here, shit can happen.”

"I know." She agreed to follow Joel's rules, and she meant it. Even if he can be a complete nag sometimes, she knows by now that he is the one person to trust over anybody else in her life. Joel said not to go out after dark, so she doesn't. End of story.

“Thank you.” Joel relaxes slightly and rolls his shoulders back after Ellie agrees to stay close. “Don’t say anything to her about the library card.” He cautions her. “It’s gonna be a surprise.” He hopes you haven't heard about the library yet, but if you have, you haven't had time to get a card or you would have been raving about it.

“Got it.” The teen smirks and heads for the stairs.

Joel rolls his eyes again and looks down at Caroline softly before taking off his jacket and boots. He's comfortable here, and its a surprise to find out how quickly he could readjust back to fatherhood. He takes the soiled diaper from earlier and brings it over to the bucket that you keep them soaking in. Deciding that he will wash them so they can hang dry in the kitchen overnight. Having a baby in a post apocalyptic world is kind of like having one in frontier times, in his opinion. A lot more work, and those conveniences he had taken for granted with Sarah are a thing of the past.

******

It’s been a hell of a long time since you could feel safe enough to nap, but Jackson is unique in that it actually feels safe. When you wake up it’s after dark and the house is quiet — which really just means that Caroline is quiet. Joel and Ellie habitually keep their voices lower and their steps lighter because the instinct of having to stay hidden is so ingrained. The fact that there’s no sound from downstairs now is a good thing. Hopefully Caroline has managed to nap and Joel can do…whatever Joel is doing.

Joel stirs the pot on the stove, throwing together a stew to eat. The leftover vegetables from last year’s growing season were all canned, but he was grateful for them nonetheless. When he hears you on the stairs, he pokes his head out of the kitchen. “Got some tea ready.” He calls out softly.

"You're perfect," you hum with a grateful sigh, stretching languidly on the last step before you hit the bottom floor. The air of domesticity here is deep, in a way that could almost make you forget what the world outside is like. At least for a little while.

“You just love that I’ve learned how to make your tea.” He snorts and leans over to press a kiss to your forehead when you drift by him on the way to the counter for the cup he has set out.

"I'm appreciative." For so, so many things that Joel does. Not being the only person in charge of Caroline's survival and happiness as well as your own has lifted an enormous burden from your shoulders and you can only hope that you have helped him in even a fraction of the same way. "Thank you, honey."

“Of course.” He nods and turns back to the stew. “Figured I’d make some dinner, we still have half a loaf of that oat bread.” He shakes his head. “Amazing how we are actually eating bread….Considering.”

“We’re all eating like hippies,” you joke, leaning in to Joel’s side as he stands at the stove. It’s a comfort just to be close to him, and you’re much closer now than you were even weeks ago. “Anything but wheat flour.”

“That’s true.” He chuckles and reaches around you to snag your waist.

“Thank you for letting me nap.” A perfect rest is one you get to take together, but those were few and far between on the road. Now that you’re in Jackson, being able to sleep next to him every single night is an absolute luxury.

“You’re welcome.” Joel leans in and brushes his nose against your cheek. “You were up with her last night, you deserved to rest.” He reminds you. “I got the diapers washed. They are hanging up on the back porch.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” He’s been such a huge help, and even helped you get a better rhythm even in your one-on-one time with Caroline.

“Are you asking or lamenting?” He jokes and pats you on the butt gently. “So I talked to Tommy.” He murmurs. “There’s a doctor in town that we should go see.”

“Are you not feeling well?” Concern is written on your face instantly, eyebrows drawing up in worry.

“No, nothing like that.” He instantly replies, trying to ease your fears. “They have some….methods of birth control.” He feels his own cheeks heating up because of bringing this up. “If you— I mean, if we’re— you know— uh—”

"Oh." He's blushing, and that's just about the most adorable thing you've ever seen. "Then yes. We should definitely go see that doctor."

“I just— I don’t want you to— not if—” he’s never been great with words and he just shrugs after a moment. “I don’t think you should be havin’ another baby right now.” He murmurs. “I know back before everything, they told my….ex, that she should wait at least three years before another baby and fuck- by then I’ll be sixty fuckin’ years old.”

"Honey..." Turning into Joel's side completely, you tip your head back to offer him a smile and put your other arm around his waist to hold him close. "We'll do our best to keep up with effective birth control. We'll be as safe as we can be. Sometimes...sometimes things just happen. We know that. We have the result of that, sleeping in the other room. Family planning doesn't exactly work the way it used to."

“No, it doesn’t.” He leans in and presses his lips to yours. “But I want you to be healthy, not worn out because my pullout game isn’t the best.”

"If it happens again, we'll love them just as much as we love Caroline." You are absolutely certain of that, without hesitation. "And if it doesn't? She's already got one fantastic big sister around to help take care of her, and another big sister that she can hear stories about whenever Daddy is willing to tell them."

“I—” he bites his lip and shakes his head. “It’s been-“ air whooshes out of his lungs. “A long time since I’ve been called that.” Caroline being alive and healthy makes the last time he heard that particular phrase only bittersweet, the ache in his heart still there, but it doesn’t bleed this time. “I still can’t believe I have her some days.”

"We're lucky to have you, Joel." That is something you believe with all of your heart, even on the bad days and the hard days and the days when it all feels like too much. "All three of us."

“Everything changed.” Joel acknowledges. “But I’m glad I could keep the three of you safe. Get you here.” He tilts his head. “Do you know how far we are from your family land?”

"The last I heard from anybody, they were actually on the outskirts of Jackson." Having been too afraid to ask, you've kept it to yourself that you might actually have a family home out here with sentimental things that once belonged to your cousins. "I have the address, but...I assume that since the street isn't part of new Jackson, it must be either wrecked or overgrown."

“Do you want me to ask around?” He asks quietly, squeezing your hip gently. “See if I can get out there?”

"Honestly, if it's still around? I would want to go too. But I don't want to risk taking Caroline out to somewhere dangerous again." You shake your head at that idea, not liking it at all. "Not when she's finally safe again."

“No.” Joel is immediately shaking his head. “Our daughter stays behind the walls.” He insists, voice flat and final. Even though you don’t want to take her out, Joel wouldn’t allow it.

“Never a sentence that I thought I would find comforting, but here we are.” The two of you stand silently for a long moment before you sigh. “I know there’s probably nothing left of them,” you repeat, hating how final that is after everything. “But I’d rather know for sure. There might be a memory or two left in the house.”

“Then we will go.” Joel hates that you haven't found any of your people yet, although they may just not be around much. It’s a vain hope, but he has it for you.

“And we’ll go see the doctor.” That’s a more pressing trip, if you’re honest with yourself. Any birth control at all would be useful, even if it’s only by a little.

“I don’t have to be inside you.” Joel murmurs softly, knowing that as much as he loves your cunt around you, your health is more important.

“There are plenty of ways to be intimate.” With one hand on his chest, you rub small, soothing circles there for a second and kiss his jaw before his lips. “But we’re still going to go see that doctor. I like having sex with you too much to just give it up cold turkey.”

He huffs out a small laugh and he smirks at you. “Got addicted, huh? Even when you sometimes have to ride?”

“Don’t be so smug.” An attempt to frown or even look somewhat stern fails you, though, and you end up throwing a matching smirk back at him. “I…like that we don’t go our separate ways the next morning.”

“You and Caroline, Ellie…” he pulls you closer. “You’re all that matters to me. Keeping you safe.”

Cup of tea and simmer stew pot long forgotten, you turn in Joel’s arms to face him fully and put your arms around his neck. “We love you too, handsome. All of us. In very different ways.”

He grumbles slightly but he doesn’t argue. Knowing that it’s useless to argue with you. “Yeah, yeah.”

You hum, grinning that he doesn’t protest it anymore, and kiss the tip of his nose. “You’re cute when you blush.”

He rolls his eyes and his hands slide down to your ass. “Yeah? You’re cute when you’re naked underneath me and chanting my name over and over again.”

“Joel…” A knot in your belly forms instantly, making you squeeze your thighs together in turn.

He grins at you and winks. “Good thing you took that nap, huh?” He teases softly. “Now you need to eat a good meal to make sure you won’t pass out on me from hunger.”

“This,” you huff, laughing at the way the two of you have just clicked back together so easily over the last few months. “This is why we need that doctor. We’re too horny for our own good.”

“Kind of hard to fuck on the road.” He reminds you with a laugh of his own. “Now we have a bed, a door that locks.”

“And a real mattress and box spring for that old man back of yours.” Not that you don’t appreciate it too, of course. But of the two of you, Joel definitely has more aches and pains.

“Damn right. And the bed is comfortable.” He snorts, remembering that shitty, worn out mattress he had in Boston. “Did I mention that Ellie isn’t sleeping three feet from us?”

“And we don’t have to worry about Caroline rolling or crawling away, or any of a million other things.” The fingers of one of your hands thread into his hair and you hum as you press yourself against him right there in the kitchen. “Of course, there’s also the kitchen counter…”

The way his cock twitches in his pants is a good indication that he had been thinking along those lines too. “Kid’s upstairs, reading.” He grunts, pressing his lips under your ear just like he’s discovered makes you shiver. “Baby’s asleep. If we make it quick, we can do it.”

“I should just stop wearing pants around you,” you tease, already shifting both of you backward so that you’re the one pressed up against the counter. “So we can be as fast as we want.”

“We can always find you some skirts.” He hums, sliding his hands down to your jeans and around the front to unbutton them. “When you’re inside Jackson. I wouldn’t want you to wear them outside the walls.” He says seriously, frowning slightly at what could possibly happen. Clickers or humans.

The soft chuckle that escapes you is a little rougher than usual just because he's shoving your jeans down your hips, but you still shrug your shoulders. "We're horny, not stupid. Skirts are only for when it's safe."

Joel has become a little feral now that your relationship has progressed back to physical. There’s something about you being the mother of his child that seriously gets Joel going. He had never had that since his ex had disappeared out of his and Sarah’s life so early, but he was not upset with the discovery. Your body was softer, marked by motherhood and he found it incredibly sexy. “Then you need to see the doctor.” He growls. “Because I might just bend you over a table every time Caroline naps.”

He barely has your jeans pulled off in time for you to hop up on the counter, legs open for him to fill the space between even as you start to work open the belt he wears day in and day out. Frenzied kisses take up the space where there could be more words, but oxygen is precious when you're doing your damnedest to drown in each other while your baby girl sleeps.

Most intimate moments were rushed, quiet and out in the open. Using his fingers on you to give you pleasure while the girls slept. Because of that, he knows exactly how to touch you to make sure you are wet.

"Joel—" You have to bite back a whine the second his fingers find you, already wet and aching just from talking about sex and not even from him touching you. Hell, kissing him is still enough to make your cunt bottom out and you hope that never changes.

“That’s it, baby.” Joel growls against your neck softly. “Want that pretty pussy nice and wet. You want to cum before I fuck you? Or do you want to cum on my cock?” He swirls his fingers around your clit and then presses them into you to curl up and strike against that spongy spot deep inside near your cervix.

You could protest that there isn’t time for two, but you know Joel would make it happen. He’s learned your body fast, and how to wring pleasure out of you as fast or as slow as he wants to. “O—on you,” you manage to pant out two coherent words and try for a few more. “Want to cum on your cock, Joel. Please?”

“I love when you beg, baby.” He groans, having heard so many people beg him over the years. Often for their lives when there’s no saving them, but this is what he loves. You, begging for him to make you feel good. “You’ll cum on my cock, baby. All over it.”

“Always do.” The way you shift forward on the counter is proof of how eager you are, in case he wasn’t sure. Every time you shift or roll your hips, his fingers stroke that spot again and you have to bite back a moan.

“I know you do.” He grunts, unbuttoning his pants to pull his hard cock out. “Always so good for me.”

It goes back to the first time he called you his good girl, and you know it. That was the moment you called it quits on any resistance whatsoever. “Always. Fuck, always, baby.”

Joel smirks and pumps his cock, listening to make sure that the kid isn't coming downstairs. He doesn't want to scar her, but he doesn't want to wait to get you upstairs. He groans when he has to pull his fingers out of you and hums. "You ready?"

"I don't think there's ever a time when I'm not." You nod enthusiastically, glancing up at the closed door that leads from the kitchen to the living room, and when no sound can be heard from your sleeping daughter you look back to Joel. "Take what you want, baby. I'm just along for the ride."

It only takes a moment to notch himself at your entrance, his lips fused with yours as he starts to push inside you. Loving how tight you immediately squeeze his cock inside your walls.

Every sound you have gets poured into that kiss, muting your moans and whines so they don't echo through the house. In this position the best thing you can do is hang onto the counter and let Joel take what he wants — exactly as you said — and that kiss is another perfect way to stay connected to him as he starts to move.

There’s a perfect rhythmic pace he can keep that doesn’t hurt his back and still keeps your toes curling in their socks. He’s tested it, although he never told you and he uses that pace now. Holding onto your hips as he rocks into you again and again, swallowing your moans greedily as he basks in your utter want of him.

One hand has to move to his shoulder, clutching his shirt as he fucks into you hard enough that it feels like he's stealing your breath but not so hard that you'll end up walking funny and give away what you've been up to. No doubt Ellie has noticed by now, but there's no reason to rub it in. There's just nothing better than basking in Joel's full attention. In being his sole focus. lt's like coming home.

Once he’s broken away from your lips, there’s not a part of your exposed skin that Joel doesn’t kiss. Loving to nibble and kiss along your neck and chest. Inhaling the milky scent of your breasts, heavier since Caroline is due for a feeding when she wakes up. Though he doesn’t touch them, knowing they need to be left alone for his child. “Fuck.”

"So good." With his ear right by your mouth, you can just gasp and sigh right there for only him to hear. "Always fuck me so good."

“This little pussy was made for me.” Joel grunts, loving how you spasm around him when he pours filth into your ears. Sometimes his fingers and words get you off so quickly, he’s amazed you haven’t been worked up all day. “Squeezin’ me so tight.”

"Can't help it," you chuckle low in his ear and have to bite back a gasp when his hips hit yours sharply. "Your cock's just so fucking big.'

He snorts and twitches inside of you at the breathless praise. “You gonna cum for me, pretty girl?” He asks, moving one hand down so he can rub your clit as he thrusts into you.

"'M close, baby." The breathless promise comes on a whine and you have to work to not just let your mouth hang open and Joel's rhythm picks up and the broad pad of one of his thumbs skates over your slick, swollen clit. "So fucking close, oh god."

His teeth snap together, breathing heavily and his face is almost set in a determined frown. Watching you as his hips shuffle forward to fill you again and again. Loving how your body heaves and lurches every time he swipes his fingers over your clit, almost overstimulated - you’re so close. “Be my good girl, baby.” He growls. “Cum for me.”

Whether you’re responding to his praise or to the near overstimulation is anyone’s guess, but it’s only a moment later that your legs start to tense and shake around his waist and your mouth falls open in a silent sob as you come apart for him.

The heat, the pressure around his cock is exquisite as you start to cum. The rush of wetness helps him move when your walls squeeze tight and he loves the nearly non existent sound you make. Taking his hand off your hip, grabbing the back of your neck and dragging your lips back to his as he fucks you through your orgasm.

These are the times — mid orgasm with a foggy brain and no filter for your thoughts — that you wish Internally for another baby. Accident or planned, it doesn’t matter to you. It’s just that flash of a thought as your climax washes over you that you know will subside again but it makes you hold onto his kiss that much tighter. Grateful for what you do have. For him and for Caroline, above all.

He feels your body relax, going boneless as he continues to batter against your fluttering walls. He’s close but he can’t pull out just yet. “Fuck.” He groans. “So pretty when you cum.” The praise is whispered against your lips.

“Just for you,” you promise in a shaky breath, practically gulping down air as the intensity of your orgasm subsides.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He hisses, regret lacing his tone because he’s having to pull his hips back. Letting go of you and wrapping his hand around his cock as he starts to quickly jerk himself off, the other hand poised to catch the mess so there isn’t a huge cleanup of the counters.

If you could have gotten there quickly, you’d be on your knees to catch every last drop, but you definitely move a little bit slower after he’s just gotten done fucking you — mostly just because your legs are jelly. Instead you watch Joel with dark eyes, satisfied temporarily but always wanting. It’ll be another few hours before he can even think of going again, but that doesn’t mean you won’t daydream about him.

It’s not as satisfying as when he’s buried to the hilt inside, but he can’t risk it, can’t risk you. Clenching his jaw, he hisses slightly as he stops stroking his cock, panting as he looks up at you and leans in to kiss you once more.

“I love you.” Simple words, but loaded with so much emotion that you sigh a little after saying them. “So much, Joel.”

“I love you too.” He promises, pulling back to take his cum filled hand to the sink to wash before he gets a rag for you. “Don’t ever think I don’t.”

“Well it was a little touch and go there while we weren’t anywhere near each other,” you tease, flashing him a grin. “But I don’t anymore. I promise.”

Snorting, Joel rolls his eyes at you and after washing his hands, he soaps up a rag and comes back over to you to clean you up. “Hush.” He grumbles, biting his lip as he spreads your thighs again.

“Never.” Instead your grin widens and you steal another kiss while he cleans you up. Only after that do you carefully hop down from the kitchen counter to pull your clothes back on.

Right as you are buttoning your pants, he hears the first little squawk from Caroline and grins. “I’ll change her.” He tosses the rag into the diaper pail to soak. “Drink your lukewarm tea before you come feed her.” He orders, kissing your temple before he walks out of the kitchen, already buttoned and buckled back up.

“Yes, sir.” There’s not even any point to protesting. You just pick up your tea and admire his ass as he strides out of the room.

Caroline is definitely feeling better, waving her arms and squealing when she sees Joel. The bubbly, happy grin on her adorable face never fails to bolster his spirits, which are always pretty high after being intimate with you. “Just like your momma.” He teases as he picks her up with a grunt. “Always squealing.”

With the door open it isn’t really difficult, but you still lean out from the kitchen and huff just loudly enough for him to hear. “I heard that.” Not that he’s wrong. Not at all.

Joel chuckles, nudging his nose against his daughter’s cheek and listening to her gurgle. “You were supposed to, baby.” He tells you, grinning at Caroline when he pulls back. “You were supposed to.”

******

Joel spends a decent portion of the next few days out of the house, helping Tommy with some vague project that you don't think much of. He had taken Ellie with him once but she has been mainly at home with you. The town is enjoying their preparations for Valentine's Day at the end of the week, and from time to time you've found yourself daydreaming about Joel doing something spontaneously romantic but you aren't expecting anything. It's not as though he can pop into a jewelry store or go down to the sweet shop for chocolates. Even flowers aren't really on the docket these days. It doesn't matter. Not really. All that matters is that he comes home safe every night, and Joel definitely does that.

It had been a pain in the ass, but the pram is finished; even Tommy is impressed with the final product and Joel had used some stuffing from cushions to make a padded layer on the bottom to make it more comfortable for Caroline. It’s got a back that can be adjusted to tilt up for when she’s older and a cover for the sun or rain. Now, he’s just waiting on the varnish to dry and it will be ready.

It’s late morning when he comes back from Tommy’s today, looking as pleased with himself as Joel ever does, and your plan to go down to Jackson’s seamstress to inquire about a skirt or dress goes by the wayside immediately. “Hey handsome.” Out on the porch with Caroline against your chest, you wave to him when you see him approach.

“Hey.” He climbs the steps with only a slight protest from his knees and gives Caroline a quick kiss before letting his own linger on your lips for a moment. “So, they are having a movie tonight for the celebration.” He reminds you, as if that’s not been the topic of the town for days.

“Did you want to go?” He hasn’t mentioned it at all so you wondered if maybe he was ignoring Valentine’s altogether.

“Was thinking that if you wanted to go, we could.” He shrugs one shoulder and shuffles his feet as he reaches into his jacket pocket. “Unless you want to stay home and read.”

“Read what?” You’re looking at his face, not his hands, and it takes an enigmatic smile from Joel before you glance down and see a very official card sitting in his hand. It’s a business card for the old Jackson public library, printed and crisp, but when he flips it over you see your name scrawled there in beautiful cursive and gasp. “What is this?”

“There’s a town library.” Joel explains. “They collected all the books out of the houses and any they brought back from scouting missions.” He smiles. “Thought you might like to go browse and check some out.”

“Honey.” Instantly your arms are around him, squeezing him into your side so you can show him how grateful you are without crushing Caroline between you in the process. “This is incredible. A library? That’s — it’s so sweet of you.” The grin on your face is wide, spreading to overtake you by the second. It might not be just anyone’s perfect Valentine’s gesture, but it’s definitely yours. “Thank you, love.”

He huffs in relief that you aren’t upset at his gesture. “You’re welcome. I knew you would want to read some more.”

“I wonder if they gathered up all the kids' books, too?” More bedtime stories for Caroline would be amazing as she gets older. Right now lullabies still do it when she’s fussy, but you don’t expect that to last much longer.

“I’m sure they have. Which will be amazing for Caroline.” He had read to Sarah from the time she was a baby and wonders if they have some of the books he had read to her. It would be a little tradition to read them to his other daughter.

“Thank you,” you murmur again, leaning against him and pressing a kiss to his cheek before you look down at your daughter. “Can you say thank you Daddy? For being awesome and loving us so, so much?”

“You have to come with me to get the next present.” He snorts, enjoying the way that Caroline automatically coos and waves her arms.

“There’s a next present?” Your head tilts in curiosity and a smile cracks across your face again. “Mr. Miller, you’ve been busy.”

“Not like I can get you flowers or chocolates.” He’s embarrassed by the surprise in your voice and he shrugs.

“You didn’t have to do anything at all. I still know you love me.” The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it has been so surprising to see it revived. It isn’t necessarily as surprising that he is embracing it. Not when he’s working so hard to relieve the sins of his past and whatever happened with Sarah’s mother.

“I know.” He picks up the backpack you had started using as a diaper bag for the baby and glances at you. “You want to carry her? Or do you want me to get our little princess?”

“I’ve got her for now, she’s comfortable.” Sometimes the biggest thing really is her comfort, so you’re not going to disturb your little girl for right now. “Where are we going?”

“Tommy’s workshop.” He picks up her little blanket and throws it over his arm. “Hopefully you like it, it’s more of a practical gift.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it.” If he thought of it? Put care and love into just thinking that you will appreciate it? Then whatever it is will be perfect.

Like all babies and families with babies, it takes a few minutes to get going. The pram should be completely dry, the fans blowing on it and he wonders if you will like to. Sure he could have tried to find one at an abandoned store, but for him, it was about making something. It had been a long time since he had done that and it had felt pretty good.

“Ellie seems like she’s adjusting okay to being back in school.” The walk over to Tommy’s doesn’t take long, and you’re curious to see what he’s been up to with his brother.

“She’s enjoying the school having zero to do with FEDRA.” Joel agrees. “I think she likes the days they take care of the livestock the best. She loves animals.”

"She loves them and she's great with them." Your free hand slips into Joel's while you walk, enjoying the sunny, clear day in spite of the cold. "That's a hell of a valuable skill set in this world. Keeping the livestock happy and healthy is vital."

“Yes it is.” Joel nods. “Tommy and John think they might have gotten that old grist mill working.” He tells you in passing. “The kids are going to have a class on that, come next week.”

"Everything but wheat flour," you joke with a shake of your head. "Although that oat bread was pretty good. John's got a good thing going in that bakery he set up."

“Exactly and there’s a sack of barley seeds they want to plant and make cornmeal.” He has been impressed with Jackson so far and wants to stay here. There’s no reason to go back to Boston and he would never put his daughter under FEDRA control.

Squeezing his hand, you smile up at Joel and cradle Caroline with your other hand. "It's nice here."

“It is.” There are moments where Joel doesn’t trust it, he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the ugliness to infect Jackson, but he wants this to be a haven, for you and Ellie and Caroline. Especially for Caroline. He wants her to be able to grow up without being exposed to the rawness of the outside world as much as possible. To give her a chance at normalcy. “You want to stay, sweetheart?” He asks quietly.

"I can't imagine any place being better for us." On your chest, Caroline is looking around her with the characteristic wonder of an infant, and you grin and place a kiss on her little tuft of hair. "Your brother is here, there's reliable shelter and food. Ellie is safe to the point where she's enjoying school. It's...I'm not going to call it perfect but it feels like spitting in the face of the universe if we just walk away."

“I feel like the other shoe is going to drop, but it’s also the most relaxed I’ve been in years.” Joel admits. “I’ve- there’s more to worry about than me. And I’ve worried a lot since Lake City.” He had tried to hide the panic attacks, but you had seen signs of them. “I think we should stay.”

"You're entitled to worry." It's just a quiet reminder, but it's important that Joel remember that he has permission to feel whatever way he feels about things. Having a family and being a protector in this environment is a stressful thing. "But you're also entitled to be happy."

“That’s the hard part of this to swallow.” Joel admits, squeezing your hand gently. “It’s alright, baby. I want to stay, if you do.”

"If not for us, then for the girls." That's really the key here, and you pick up his hand to press a kiss to the back of it. "I would follow you anywhere. But they deserve whatever childhood we can give them."

“Yes they do.” The door to Tommy’s shop is just up ahead and he smiles slightly. “Hopefully this next gift will help that. At least for one of them.”

"What did you do?" At this point you're too curious not to feel bubbly about it, and you desperately wish the younger Miller brother's workshop had good windows.

“You’ll see.” He chuckles at your curiosity and lets go of your hand so he can open the door. “After you.”

"Come on, baby," you murmur to Caroline, grinning as you duck into the workshop.

Sitting in the middle of the space is a beautifully put together and obviously handmade perambulator, with a padded cloth bottom and a sun visor that...seems to be moveable as well as handcrafted. "Oh my god..." you breathe, stepping into the room further and bending over the pram with tears in your eyes. "Baby...did you make this?"

“I know I could probably find one, somewhere…” Joel can’t tell if you love it or hate it, so he shuffles slightly. “But I wanted to build one that you could use for a long time.”

"Honey, it's beautiful!" The tears in your eyes are pure love and gratitude, and you backtrack immediately to give him a kiss before going to inspect the pram that he put together with his own two hands. "It—it's incredible. You...how long did this take you?"

“It’s what I’ve been working on this week.” Joel explains, walking over to it to show you the shade and how it can flip down to become a basket to put things in.

"I can't believe you did this." There is such a wonder in your voice. Awe and love, and shock that anyone would put this much work into such an enormous gesture.

“Figured she was going to get too busy and too fidgety to haul around on your chest all the time.” He tells you. “Plus it can sit up when she’s really moving.”

"Do you want to see what Daddy made you, honey?" Caroline keeps reaching for the pram like she knows it's hers, and you look to Joel hopefully. "Is it ready for her to try out?"

“Yeah.” He holds up her blanket. “Figured you want a cover on her since she’s not right up against you.”

"It's perfect," you murmur again. Unwrapping her from your chest is a careful process, but soon a squirming little girl is ready to be set down in her very first pram and she giggles with glee just as soon as you lay her blanket over her. "Daddy made you the perfect little pram so we can push you around and let you see town without having to be attached to my chest the whole time."

“Tommy helped too.” Joel admits, pleased that you seem thrilled with the pram. “He wants to make one for Maria now.”

"Brand new family heirlooms." It's a magical and unexpected gesture, that you reach down to tickle Caroline's belly and can't resist kissing Joel, as well. "This kind of puts my Valentine's surprise to shame, babe."

“No it doesn’t.” Joel immediately frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t have to do anything for me.”

"You didn't have to do anything for me, either." With a grin, you lean over and kiss his cheek again while Caroline looks around her pram in wonder. "I went to see the doc the other day." He's been busy — apparently building you a damn stroller with his own two hands — so you had taken it upon yourself to go in the meantime.

“Yeah?” Joel’s eyes widen slightly and he looks Caroline in her pram to you. “And?”

"And." He looks like he might jump up and down from excitement, and you can't help but laugh. "She had a diaphragm for me."

He frowns and tries to remember what the hell that is. It’s been a long time since he’s talked about birth control in depth. “That- that’s that thing that goes inside you before sex, right?”

“Right.” Another giggle escapes you, and you lean into his side. “It’s not full proof, but it’s something.”

“Yeah.” Joel knows that no birth control is perfect, but he feels better with that. “Do you still want to have me pull out?” He asks seriously.

“Is it irresponsible to say no?” You just want to feel him completely, but you’ll understand if he declines. You’ve already brought one baby into the world, the idea was to prevent two. “It’s your decision, love. All I care about is getting to be close to you.”

“I say we keep track of your cycle like you normally do.” Joel murmurs. “I’ll pull out when you’re ovulating.”

“In that case.” The grin on your face turns absolutely devilish. “No need to pull out tonight.”

Joel blows out a loud breath and reaches down to adjust himself. “That’s the best fuckin’ Valentine’s you could ever give me.”

“I thought you might like it.” Compared to what he’s done? It’s barely anything at all. But the chance to be as close to each other as possible is something you’ve both been craving as you’ve realized the depth of feelings you have.

“Love it.” Joel growls, reaching for you to pull you close and press his lips to yours for a quick and harsh kiss.

“Love it a lot. Got it.” You melt against him and bury your face in his chest, glad to be held in his arms for even a few moments at a time. “We’ll have some grown up time after the movie tonight?”

"Already asked Ellie if she would mind the bassinet being in her room." He tells you with a grin. "Bottles ready."

“Scheming!” You erupt into giggles, cheeks burning hot and desire starting to ache in your core. “You have been scheming.”— Today at 8:02 PM

"I have been scheming." He admits shamelessly. "And there's one more thing that I have to give you."Today at 8:07 PM

“Joel.” A pout comes with a tilt of your head and you shake it immediately. “Baby, no. You’ve already done so much.”Today at 8:12 PM

"This is something from me....for you." He promises softly. "I wanted to give you something that shows you how much I love you." He swallows. "Do you want it now, or do you want me to - you know, make it romantic?" Today at 8:25 PM

“I want you to do whatever will make you happiest.” Another soft kiss between you makes you melt that much more. “I’ll love it no matter what.”day at 8:33 PM

"I kind of want to give it to you now, before I lose the damn thing." Joel admits with a huff of amusement, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a faded velvet box.at 8:42 PM

“What…?” It may be a long while since the last time you walked into a jewelry store, but you still remember what a ring box looks like as your eyes flick between the box and Joel. “Honey?”day at 8:52

"It's- do you know how fucking hard it was to remember birthstones?" He snorts, shaking his head. "I wanted to get you something that had meaning. That's symbolic of how we came together."

He holds it out to you a little more surely and you realize your hands are shaking a little when you reach to open it. The ring inside has been cleaned, it's shining in the dim sunlight streaming into the workshop and the tears spill over immediately. "You—you figured out Caroline's birthstone?" It had never occurred to you to even try to think of what it would be, although you did figure out what her zodiac was while holding her one night right after she was born. y at 9:13 PM

"Yeah." He looks down at the ring and smiles. "There was a book in the library." He admits, not wanting you to think he was some kind of genius. "You told me when she was born, and I'm never gonna forget that." He bites his lip. "I was thinking you could wear it like an engagement ring or whatever, if you want."y at 9:18 PM

"Are you saying you want me to wear it like an engagement ring, or that I can think of it that way if I want to?" Slipping the ring out of the box, it's obvious immediately that it will fit you pretty perfectly and you wonder if Joel tried to do any sneaky measuring of your ring finger while you were sleeping or something like that.t 9:21 PM

He bites his lip and resists the urge to fold his arms over his chest. "I want- it's kind of up to you, baby." He reminds you. "I should ask you though, right?" He's talking to himself, rolling his eyes at how he is bungling it up. "Do you want to get married? If they do weddings here?"9:29 PM

If you were going to tease him, you would remind him that his brother and Maria got married. That there is something like marriage here in Jackson, even without the way weddings were in the past. And the end of the world, marriage is about a commitment between people. Not about a thousand dollar dress or haggling over the guest list. And honestly? That is the way you would have wanted it even back then. "Yes," you nod, that smile spreading back across your face as you hold your shaky hand out to him. "Yes, I absolutely do."35 PM

Joel takes the hint, carefully pulling the ring from the box and taking your hand gently to push the ring onto your finger. "It fits." He sighs out in relief. "Tying a string around your finger to measure it worked." He looks up into your eyes with a grin. "How do you like it?"t 9:41 PM

"It's perfect." Wrapping your arms around his neck, you press into his space and let yourself just breathe him in. Grateful for the coincidence that brought you together, for the accident that has sealed your connection, and for the love that has bound you. "I love you."

“I love you too, baby.” Joel vows softly, pressing his lips to yours. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

______

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