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afewproblems · 1 year

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I want Steve to find out about the simultaneous games that happened at the beginning of season 4.

That Eddie insisted that the hellfire session went on as scheduled, despite the fact that Lucas wouldn't be able to make it.

Lucas, one of Steve's kids, who Steve had defended from being beaten up, putting himself in the line of fire from that racist asshole Billy Hargrove.

Lucas, who had been pushed aside and alienated from his longtime friends just because he also liked sports and wanted to try and remain afloat in the ocean of high school.

Lucas, who loved his friends and and enjoyed different things, because spoiler alert you can in fact be a jock and like Dungeons and Beasts or whatever the hell it was called. Steve enjoyed Star Wars and could dunk, proof right there.

But all it took was one word from Eddie, and Dustin and Mike not only didn't go to Lucas's game, but they couldn't even be happy for him about the championship AND their final session of their long-term campaign went on as scheduled despite the absence of the oldest Sinclair.

Sure Jason Carver turned out to be a crazy asshole but Steve knew exactly how it felt to be caught between worlds and the biggest difference was that Lucas had always been a good person.

Unlike him.

One nice thing about his King Steve days was that he knew how to push, and he could turn it on for a day, just to knock some sense into a certain curly haired metal head.

"Hang back a sec man," Steve says almost casually as they exit Eddie's van after pulling into the movie theater. The kids tumble out of the open doors and race towards the building, pushing each other in their hurry to get in line for the second running of Highlander.

"What's up Stevie?" Eddie says, his dimpled grin comes out in full force as he looks Steve up and down, leaning back again the front of the vehicle grill. His arms cross loosely over his Black Sabath shirt and the various rings and chains sparkle in the high afternoon sun. He looks great today.

Focus Steve.

He clears his throat and sighs, trying to get into the heads pace from earlier when he initially found out what happened from Dustin. He had been absolutely furious.

But the flame of righteous fury had dissipated, leaving behind a cold feeling of disappointment in Eddie. It hung heavy and immovable in his chest, he needed to talk to him.

"Hey uh, I heard about the championship game man, Lucas's game".

Eddie tilts his head slightly, his brown doe eyes scanning Steve's face with confusion.

"What the basketball game back in March? That was like six months ago man? What about it?"

"Did you ever apologize to Lucas?" Steve asks, he keeps his face neutral, not wanting to influence the answer as Eddie scoffs. Not a great sign.

"For what Harrington?" And that stings a little, he'd been Stevie for the last two months or so, sometimes a Honey or Sweetheart thrown into the mix and Steve felt that they were barreling their way towards something new.

Steve swallows, he can't let this go, not even for Eddie.

"It was a shit thing to do man, to not let Lucas play and to not let Dustin and Mike go to support him--"

"Those kids know that the campaign comes first, that's the first tenant of Hellfire and they know that going in!" Eddie snarls, he steps forward towards Steve who holds his ground with narrowed eyes.

Fine.

"I thought you were above that sort of thing Munson, judging people for the things they like? Assuming things about a person and writing them off".

Eddie stops, his face paling slightly, his angry expression flickers once but remains in place as he crosses his arms again.

"Those games can't be rescheduled man," Steve continues with a shake of his head, "it's not even the school that decides the schedule for the season, it's the districts and the coaches, and who fucking cares if he was on the bench for most of the season? Because he played! And none of you were there".

Steve sighs and runs a tired hand over his face, "Not even his friends who he has known since pre-school. And with Will gone and Max dealing with all that shift from Starcourt and Vecna it was just the three of them, and you took that from him man".

Eddie stares at him, he says nothing, he doesn't even look like he's breathing right now and Steve feels like shit.

"I'm just saying, if you do that again, to any of them, to my kids," Steve says matter of factly, "then we'll have a problem".

"That supposed to be a threat, King Steve?" Eddie sneers at him, but his shoulders are dropping, and there is no true heat behind the words.

Steve shakes his head as Mike pops out of the double doors of the entrance and yells at the pair of them to, shit or get off the pot because what hell is taking them so long?

"No Eddie, it's not a threat because I'm hoping that you'll do the right thing. Because I know you love those kids and you're not an asshole".

He turns on his heel and heads towards the doors, leaving Eddie with the empty van. His heart thumps wildly in his chest, and the cold feeling in his chest spreads and spreads as he goes over the conversation again and again.

It stings a little to know that he's ruined whatever he had with Eddie but he couldn't let this go, friends don't lie after all.

He grabs their tickets, still buying one for Eddie --just in case, though the other man has not entered the building.

Steve tamps down the tight feeling of disappointment that grows the longer Eddie remains outside. If Eddie takes off, leaving them there, Steve can cover, he'll get Nancy to pick them up or maybe Jonathan --they're on better footing these days. He'll say Eddie had some kind of emergency come up, that Wayne needed him for something.

Yeah, friends didn't lie, but how could he break the kids' hearts like this?

They thankfully don't seem to pick up on this as they chatter about Sean Connery and what flavor of soda to get.

"Oh there you are dude! We thought you got kidnapped!" Dustin suddenly crows beside Steve, he turns to see Eddie behind him, a strange expression on his face.

Oh thank God.

"Nah, just had a quick smoke before the movie man, uh actually I wanted to borrow Lucas for a sec if that's cool?"

The kids look from Eddie to Steve, as though to check if he knows what's going on, Eddie hasn't been this shifty since March when Chrissy's death hit the news.

Steve nudges Lucas by the shoulder, leaning slightly down to say, "I'll grab your snacks, go on".

Lucas gives him a confused look over his shoulder before following Eddie outside the entrance the doors swing closed just as Dustin whirls on Steve.

"What the hell was that!" He demands with crossed arms and a scowl on his face, his blue eyes scanning Steve's own for something, some information about what is going on outside.

"Yeah, you guys are being weird," Mike snarks from over his shoulder, he's standing with Will and El who watch the interaction with curious eyes, "first you take forever to come in and now this?"

And so much for the kids not picking up on it.

"You guys are pretty nosy," Steve hums, deflecting with a small smile as he ruffles Dustin's curls and steps forward with the rest of the line.

Dustin glares with narrowed eyes and huffs, "Fine, I'll just ask Lucas about it".

Steve snorts, he isn't sure if the kids have even talked about it. They've all been friends long enough now that this one event wouldn't be enough to hurt this kind of friendship. But it's certainly been on Dustin's mind since he was the one to bring it up to Steve that morning.

"Good idea," Steve says with a smile as he steps up the the counter, he looks at the kids before smiling at the clerk, "okay what's everyone having, let her know".

***

The lights have dimmed and the pre-show has started by the time Eddie and Lucas make their way over to the seats Steve and the kids have saved. Steve hands Lucas his popcorn and soda, sprite and orange crush mixed, as he makes his way over to the empty seat beside Dustin. There is a wide smile on his face, and it startles Steve slightly as he realizes he hasn't seen Lucas with one around Eddie in months.

His heart hurts at the thought.

Eddie drops down beside Steve, blowing out a long slow sigh as he does.

He scrubs a pair of ringed hands over his face roughly before finally relaxing into the shitty theater seat and reaching over to snag a handful of popcorn from Steve's bag, spilling kernels all over the place.

Steve rolls his eyes and tips the bag closer to Eddie who immediately grabs a second handful.

Eddie is facing the screen, but his eyes are trained on the seat in front of him, the projection illuminates his face in whites, yellows, greens, and blues as the movie begins and Steve can't look away.

He eventually tips his face towards Steve, "You were right," Eddie murmurs before finally taking in the screen as he looks away again. Even though he's sitting nearly boneless and slumped in the seat, his shoulders are tense, upset.

Guilty.

"I'm glad," Steve whispers, and he is.

The icy feeling of disappointment that held his chest in a tight vice grip all morning finally loosens as he leans into the armrest and feels the warmth of Eddie's shoulder soak into his own.

"Thanks Steve," Eddie whispers, his warm breath ghosting over Steve's ear as leans closer, letting their hands brush in the darkness of the theater.

Steve closes his eyes, and lets himself bask in the warmth, even for just a moment.

#steve harrington #stranger things season 4 #everyone lives #protective steve harrington #mom!steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie isn't a bad guy but it was pretty shit how he treated lucas in volume one #the party #pre steddie #dancing around one another #hurt feelings #slight angst #where is all this angst coming from???#I dont think steve would have been very happy if he had found out in the show that dustin and mike had ditched lucas #but they are teenages so they get a bit more of a pass when it comes to this sort of thing

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nartothelar · 21 days

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I was seeing the comic of Emmets self destructing behavior even after he and Ingo reunited and wow… that implication it’s not the first time…

How many times must have this happened? How many times until Ingo knew snapping him out by a gentle hand on his shoulder? What bad habits did Emmet develop while being on his own? With "Ingo" encouraging him to be more healthy? Just so deliciously dark! I love it?

On the other hand how much strain Ingo's body going through when he has his moments he sees "the man in white" his body switches to "life-or-death-mode" receiving a little bruise could cause him to fall into full panic mode and try to treat it like a lethal wound if not for Emmet snapping him out of it and calming him down again.

While both have their moments of seeing their subconscious guardian angel both react differently.

Emmet is apathetic towards "Ingo" dismissing him since he’s not even there. He reacts mentally.

Ingo’s whole body could react to small bruises and injuries like they could kill him and depending on his support to get through it. He reacts with his whole body.

Also when Ingo’s aware he’s probably insecure about all the scars he’s got on him now. How many times he almost died… he doesn’t want the real Emmet to know. It’s bad enough that "the man in white knows"…

YES YES!!! This analysis is so perfect!!! If you'd allow me to ramble a bit...

Emmet's self destructive tendencies have been going on for a while since Ingo's disappearance. He has his Elesa and his depot agents to support him/remind him to not truly forget about himself (Elesa trying to take more time off from her job to check on Emmet/invite him out to lunch to make sure he eats, the veteran depot agents frequently checking up on him during the day/encouraging him take more breaks/interrupting his smoke breaks "accidentally", ect) but it's been hard to say the least. It will take some time for these habits to truly go away even with Ingo back, especially on his bad days.

BUT ALSO YEAH! Ingo! If Emmet appears at the corner of his eye suddenly or he sees him from a distance (any sort of blurred visage - as the man in white always appeared as) he might have a knee jerk response - a sudden urge to run or seek safety - but ultimately it won't be too serious.

His body reacts the most drastically when he is already in a state of injury and Emmet is within eyesight. Elevated heart rate, shortness of breathe, blurred vision, body tremors: his adrenaline levels will spike to an unnatural level causing a ton of stress on the body, since his mind is basically telling his body that he's on the brink of death. The quickest way to calm him down if it were to get this bad would be to have Emmet out of his sight until he can calm down...Not very ideal when the source of one's panic works the same job as you, in a work environment where slight injuries aren't too uncommon

#emmet would try to calm him down if he were to have an episode and it might even work since emmet is pretty good at reorienting him and #helping him focus on where he is and that he is safe but he might also make it worse and cause him to panic harder! :D #and ok this answer is already super long but lastl i think ingo would try to hide his scars once he sees how worried emmet is about him #when he returns like emmet is already worrying about the fact he was sent back in time where pokemon actively try to attack you. he doesnt #want to make him worry about the injuries he's already gotten too #physical or mental #i already hc that out of the two ingo is usually the one to dress more conservatively #like long sleeves and long pants or skirts but after hisui even more so #tho i would think his fashion would also factor in maneuverability and motility now more than ever #BUT YEAH IM RAMBLING NOW LMAO #subconscious guardian angel au #long post #ask #angst

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totem-but-shark · 26 days

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foolish definitely has an "rp mode", a certain lilt to his voice and delivery that has my attention locked on every word for hidden meaning and hints as he crafts his character in real time. it's most definitely subtler than others and so more easily goes under the radar to non doozers but it's undeniably there and if you're used to it and paying enough attention you come to recognise when he is or isn't in this "rp mode" and sometimes even the moment he shifts between them.

It's something about how every word is spoken with intention and deeper meaning, you can tell foolish is thinking more. Very specific wording choices and the ways he dodges around certain topics or implies others. At times it even feels like he's handpicking every word, carrying this unique weight not found anywhere else in his streams. He talks slower, his tones different, i swear the atmosphere of the whole stream shifts. Theres also an underlying smugness to it all because he's a bastard and knows he's killing it and that we the audience are eating that shit UP

foolishs rp is often discredited because he's sillier, and less "serious". He has his own unique rp style hes found for himself over his years of mc and other rp but because it's less obvious in your face crazy angst it seems like it's harder for non foolish viewers to identify. Honestly it's been really cool to watch his style develop as he finds what works best for him personally and it's only gotten better and better, I hope to see more of his rp wherever he decides to take it next.

#the fobo breakup stream REEKED of foolishs rp #pretty much as soon as he logged on to when he logged off #personally i beleive there's too much weight put on angst within this community when there's so much more to rp #and other styles + moments outside of pure angst deserve equal recognition #qsmp #qsmp foolish #qsmp thoughts #qsmp analysis #foolish gamers #doozer doozys

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befuddled-calico-whump · 1 month

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reunion

(based on the au described in the second half of this ask)

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast , @whumpsday , @regrets-realization-acceptance , @kixngiggles , @randomlifeunit , @darkthingshappen

#mannnnn this au idea is so whumpy tbh thank u mill #whump art #whump comic #lab whump #torture #beaten #Jin's honestly just happy to see her alive tbh #angst #sibling whump #whumpy art #rk rotorworx au #lady whump #nabi had it coming #eventually it happens to everyone lol #Melchior was already being used as a test subject when Nabi showed up but then he acquired a dual purpose of helping her stay in line :)#since she makes it pretty obvious that she cares about his well-being #so of course RW is hoping her brother's safety on the line will push her powers even further #partial nudity #jin is so whumpable though

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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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Ghost gifts a single tiny ear loop to Soap one day. Says he noticed Soap had pierced ears. That rings keep from handling a gun or a knife properly. He doesn't make eye contact, tries to hide his face, even as he's already wearing his balaclava.

Soap blinks. Ghost has already given him gifts and only behaved that way for the very first one. He doesn't understand. The earring is very simple, but seems to be made of expensive material and not only covered with a thin leaf of gold.

"Didnae it come with another one?" he says, jokingly.

But Ghost flushes, turns his head, and lifts his mask, only enough for Soap to see the glinting of the other earring on his ear. Suddenly he understands that it's not simply a gift. Ghost favoured practicality, but he wanted to give him a ring.

He grabs his hand as it falls back down.

"Simon, what is this?" he asks softly, not daring to be hopeful just yet.

With his other hand, he reaches out to gently turn Simon's head back towards him. His cheeks and his nose are flushed, it makes the warmth of his dark eyes, generally hidden behind a sneer or a bored expression, undeniable.

He looks nervous. Johnny's heart is beating faster. Could it really be...?

"I know", Simon starts then pauses, uncertain. "I know I'm probably not what you thought you'd have, when you were younger" Soap wants to interrupt, to scoff, to protest that Simon is way better than anyone he could have hoped for, but doesn't. He never wants to cut off his love when he's barely starting to open up.

"I know that I'm not easy to be with some days, that I'm not friendly and easy going like you, like someone you'd deserved to be with." he continues, unconsciously pushing his face more into Soap's hand. "But... I love you, more than I thought I could, and I'd like... I'd like to be with you, for as long as you'd have me..."

Johnny's heart is soaring. He has no idea how to react. He'd have to get all the giddiness out first, and the moment doesn't seem appropriate for jumping around and squealing.

"Officially," Simon continues, voice quieter, out of breath. "If you want to."

A gigantic grin splits Johnny's face. All of his limbs are buzzing, he needs to stand up, to run, to explode something. But he's terrified to spook Simon so instead he just squeezes the hand he's holding rhythmically and moves his feet back and forth.

"Baby, are ye asking me tae marry ye?" Johnny says. He's pretty sure his voice is wobbly, but can't really hear it himself as the blood in his ears is louder than the rest.

Simon's eyes do something, what is visible of his face looks like he has an expression on but Johnny can't analyze it now, doesn't dare to see the hope in his eyes, the pleading in his brows.

"I... Yes, I guess I am," the love of his life says finally. "If you want to. You don't have to."

Soap can't keep himself in check any longer. He's making a high pitched noise, jumping up and down where he's seating on the bed, and throws himself at Simon.

"Of course ah fooking want tae!!!"

Simon lets out an excited giggle, swept in Johnny's mood, and tightens his arms around his lover. No, his fiancé.

This is the best day of his life. He just has to deal with this mission tomorrow, and then they can start to plan everything.

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghostsoap #soapghost #and now a bit of angst as a treat :#soap goes on his mission and doesn't return - ghost immediately goes to look for him and only finds traces of a struggle #then price receives a bloody earring and instructions to give out state secrets in exchange for soap #ghost goes ballistic - price doesn't deal with terrorists but has to make them believe he does to gain some time #they need to find where they keep soap - when they eventually manage to rescue him he's in a pretty bad shape and cries when he sees ghost #he looks like he hasn't slept since he was taken and his lobe is covered in dried blood where his captors ripped the earring from it #he sobs in ghost's arms that he lost it #that ghost had given him something so precious and he wasn't able to keep it and ghost knows that it's only because he's been tortured and #sleep deprived but it still breaks his heart & he doesn't know what to do and how to make soap understand that he loves him no matter what #johnny needs a medic and fluids and sleep and stitches and a cast but he can't bring himself to let him go so he just carries him #and doesn't let him go until he absolutely has to even as soap falls asleep on the way back and even as the others look at him with a look #on their face - it doesn't matter anyway soon he'll be simon mactavish and everyone will know #as he's waiting at soap's bedside watching him sleep price comes in and gives him the earring - it's been cleaned and looks good as new #then price asks him if he's invited and after a minute of ghost looking at him with wide eyes he eventually nods #'of course' he says 'we wouldn't be anywhere without you old man'#and price gently punches him in the shoulder #'you have to stop calling me old the recruits are convinced I'm like 50'#and ghost smiles for the first time in a week - he won't stop though - not until he convinces the recruits that price is at least 60

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lucascsinclairs · 1 year

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Every Lumax Scene in Stranger Things: s4e8 - Papa

“Max. You can’t. He’ll kill you!”

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luescris · 2 years

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HI IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT

DID YOU SEE IT

DID YOU SEE HIS COLORS DIMMING!??!!?

LIKE LOOK

THEY DIMMED AFTER HE CLOSED HIS EYES WHEN TRYING TO FIGHT IT OFF

WHICH MEANS HE FUCKING SUCCUMBED TO IT AS HE TRIED TO FIGHT LBD'S CONTROL

I AM NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW

more rambling in the tags

#HIS MANE/HAIR..... ITS SO GORGEOUS AND FLOWY AND PRETTY #BUT MY HANDSOME MONKEY KING IS IN PA I N AND I DONT LIKE IT. I DONT LIKE ANY OF THIS NOT ONE BIT #WUKONG COME BACK TO US..... PLEASE......#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lmk #lego #lmk s3 spoilers #sun wukong #lego sun wukong #the monkey king #monkey king #my stuff #PLEASE JUST LRAVE HIM ALONE HES HAD ENOUGH #THERES SO MUCH WUKONG ANGST IN THE TAGS #THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN DYING FOR ALL ALONG BUT ALSO #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #WHEN WILL HE GET HUGS PLEASE LET MK HOLD HIM

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koszmarnybudyn · 5 months

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The kids are fine :)

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #normal oak #link li wilson #hermie the unworthy #my art #taylor swift dndads #dndads spoilers #scary marlowe #wierdly every podcast i listen to has some form of tentacles #cw blood #this is a doodle really im probablly never making into a full piece because i drew a lot similar pieces before it was fun tho #you guys remembered that normal was wearing the teenie costume when he got burned (at least im pretty sure) right?#also that blur is hermie not dood #dood is the tentecles #also links pose is a grant refrence like with the hydra at least it was intended as such #im gonna go sleep now good luck with the angst guys #i mean it was this or hermie dying/dying in normals arms so im not sure which hurts worse

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fanta2y · 3 months

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Inherently Worthy Pt. Two

part twoo yalll !! i hope you guys enjoyyy, thank you for all the likes on the first part <3

cw: talk of death, mentions of loss of weight and sleep, talk of injuries not very descriptive

word count: 2.1k

part three

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

The first thing you notice when you come back to is the throbbing that seems to cascade through your entire body. The second thing that filters through your dull senses is the low murmuring you can’t make out. It's like a gentle hum in the back of your mind, the voices are familiar but your head is swimming and the only thing it can seem to focus on is the aching pain in your joints.

You felt your eyebrows pinch and a groan leaving your lips before your consciousness really caught up with your actions. You attempted to shift, willing your eyes to open but the bright lights that shone through your eyelids made your body not cooperate.

A hand rested on your shoulder and gently pushed you back down, the voice said something. But it felt like your head was still swimming in the cotton, you remembered the mission. The curse, the wound, the blood. You remember feeling like you were going to die, you remember thinking you were going to die.

But everything else was hazy shades of black, you remember bits and pieces of movement and voices. Something deep in your chest telling you you're forgetting something, someone. Your brain is too focused on everything else to pay the weeping of your heart much attention.

A confused noise left your lips, your eyes still not wanting to open.

“Brat, stay still. Your gonna hurt yourself again.”

Ryo.

That got your eyes open, practically shooting up into a sitting position on the bed. The flare of pain you felt radiating from your side made you regret the decision fairly quickly. Hunching in on yourself, whimpering.

“See… you are so stubborn, woman.” He groaned, shaking his head at your antics. He shuffled around your bed, his hands softly putting you in a more comfortable sitting position. Doing a quick glance over your wound to make sure you haven’t reopened the freshly healed wound.

Your eyes never left his face, you're not sure why you felt so emotional seeing him after everything. It's not like he was the one who almost died. But something stirred in your chest, and you just couldn’t force your eyes away from him.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it!” Gojo said cheerily, breaking you out of your trance. A blush crept up your neck, turning your ears a light shade of pink. Sukuna choked on his spit, coughing into his hand and you're sure you saw his cheeks turning pink too.

But your mind must be playing tricks on you.

Gojo ruffled your hair as he walked past the bed you were in, still being monitored in Shoko’s office. A genuine smile on his face, one you return in earnest. As he leaves the door, going to shut it behind him.

“Don’t go to crazy, she’s still recovering.”

Were his last words before the door closes behind him.

It took a second for the words to register before your cheeks were flushed bright red, hiding your face within your hands. You wanted to throw something at him.

“I’m going to kill that bastard,” Sukuna muttered, shaking his head. As you looked up at him, you saw it again. The light pink that dusted his cheeks, the tips of his ears matching. The sides of his lips quirked up in an almost smile, one that was infectious and made you smile too.

You wondered if that was just your imagination too.

“How long was I out?” You asked, moving your vision down to the hands that sat in your lap. Fiddling with the bandaids that covered them, the IV that stuck out on the backside of one. If you had to guess, a day maybe two? You didn’t think the wound was anything remarkably bad. Jujustu Sorcerers get hurt like this all the time, it came with the job.

But the silence that followed your question had you thinking things might have been worse than you originally thought.

Your eyes looked up from where they were fixated. Confusion sunk into you. But as you looked at him, the longer the silence stretched on. You began to notice things.

He had dark purple bags under his eyes, he looked tired. His shirt was uncharacteristically baggy. He was heavy on his feet, his eyes had never been particularly bright but these eyes were almost dead-looking. The more you noticed how awful he looked, the more you grew concerned.

How long were you out?

“Ryo?” You called, hoping to get his attention. His eyes looked forward unseeing, like he was lost somewhere. You almost got scared that you weren't going to be able to find him.

Hearing his name from your lips seemed to pull him out of his haze, he clears his throat. His eyes fluttering close and he takes a deep breath.

“2 weeks.”

Two Weeks?!

That was crazy, impossible even. The wound had been bad, sure, you lost a lot of blood, sure. But two weeks? With Shoko’s RCT and all the medical supplies this school had in its back pocket. You were confused as to why it had been two weeks. You felt like you were missing something, something important.

“What do you remember?” He finally turns to you, his eyes still abysmally dim.

You allow yourself to think for a moment.

It was just like any ordinary mission really. Gojo had given you the rundown of what to expect, grade level, how many curses all that. It was simple enough, a few grade 4 and 3s, and a single first grade. Something you had handled before.

You remember Ryo’s incessant nagging about letting him come along, but you were adamant that you could handle this. That it wasn’t anything crazy and you would be back sometime tonight.

He had always been a worrier, you teased him by calling him a worrywart a lot. It was met with sheepish grumbles that never failed to make you giggle. But this time he was more serious about coming with you, which you couldn’t quite place how it made you feel.

A part of you felt warm and gooey inside that he cared enough to want to put himself where he could protect you, another part of you felt almost offended. Did he not think you were strong enough to complete missions without his help?

The thought grated against your ego and caused the hard push back. You had something to prove now, and look at where that got you.

After getting there, the old mall was just that, an old mall. You could feel the dark energy of the cursed spirits, but nothing suffocating. It felt like every other mission. You exorcised the lower-grade curses and moved to find the grade one. You had found it with a practiced ease, being a second-year Jujustu student meant you had plenty of experience exorcising curses.

You remember fighting with it, it being a bit stronger than you had anticipated. But you still weren’t worried. You were more than confident in your abilities to take this ugly fucker out. Until it sliced you. All the confidence oozing out of you along with the still warm blood now pooling on the floor. After that, you went into autopilot and exorcised it as quickly as possible. The memory of how exactly you did it was hazy with the blood loss.

Recounting all these memories to him, he listened intently. He stared unnervingly quiet as you continued on and on about how relatively normal the mission was. Nothing out of the ordinary besides your nearly life-threatening wound, well you guess it wasn't nearly now.

“How was I out for so long? I don't understand.” You asked, and once again he stilled.

Something was wrong, you could feel it in the way he was acting, in his body language in the way he was talking to you.

Suddenly he sighed, pulling the chair you assumed he was once sitting on closer to the bed. He sat down, placing his head in his hands.

“You died.”

Everything stopped, it felt as if time itself stood still. Died? That's impossible, if I died then how the hell are you sitting right here in front of him. Carrying on conversation, your heart beating peacefully in your ribcage. Your lungs expanding and deflating just like everyone else's.

Theres no way you actually died.

Not giving you a chance to respond, or even fully process his words. He continued,

“When I got to you, you were barely alive.” He takes a deep breath, attempting to stop the onslaught of memories. Feeling the blood seeping through his fingers, watching your skin lose its color.

Inhale. Exhale.

“Gojo warped us back here, but something with the warp and your wound. It made you worse, and you died,” He sounds choked, you swear you can see the tears glistening in his eyes, “you died in my arms.”

The last part was barely a whisper, if you weren't already listening so intently you would've missed it.

You stay silent, shocked into the state. You felt almost numb, hearing the recounting of your own death. Knowing he had to experience this made your heart clench, guilt pooling in your belly. You were the one too stubborn to let him come along, you were the one hellbent on proving yourself worthy.

Worthy of him.

He didn’t look at you as he recounted, he couldnt bare it. Everytime he saw your face all he could see were the wide, dead eyes. He sometimes could still see the red staining his hands, even after the countless times he scrubbed at them. Scrapped under each fingernail to rid himself of the remnants of you.

“So how did I..?” You trailed off, confusion still poking at the back of your head. Swimming its way through all of the other emotions you were experiencing at the moment.

If you really had died, something you still find hard to actually believe, how did you end up not dead? You didn’t think revival was possible. Unless Gojo had some secret cursed technique he wasn’t telling anyone about. But with that ego of his, something made you doubt that that was the case.

“Even though you were dead, Shoko continued to do her RCT on you. She healed your wounds and continued to pump cursed energy into you. It was a long shot, but since you hadn’t been dead that long, it somehow got your heart pumping again. And then it was just a waiting game to see when....if you were going to wake up.”

At the end of his talking, he finally turned to face you. You really got a good look on how hed been doing these past weeks. The bags you saw were much worse, deep purple. They almost looked like bruises, his eyes were bloodshot. Whether that be from crying or lack of sleep it was hard to tell.

In all the time you knew Ryomen, in all the years of ‘friendship’. You had never seen him like this. He was a rough around the edges type of guy. He had a nasty temper and an even nastier mouth. And when he was angry he was sure to make it everyones problem.

He said some mean things and done some mean things. Many would consider him heartless, or cold. But, ever since you had first met him something told you he was different. You noticed the way his eyes shined when his little brother, Yuuji, rambled on about some new manga he was reading. Or when Fushiguro would be able to land a hit on him during training.

How his lips would curve up ever so slightly when on the receiving end of one of Panda’s and Inumaki’s pranks before swiftly chasing them out with harsh words and loud screams. You noticed that his center, his heart, was gooey. It was soft with the care of those he deemed worthy of his love. And that was a hard battle to win within itself.

But seeing him completely debauched and destroyed, only made the guilt grow and fester. It began boiling in your gut, you willed yourself not to focus on it. Not right now, you didn’t need to worry him any more than he clearly already was.

Silently, you moved forward on the bed. He opened his mouth to reprimand you but was stopped by your frail hands making contact with his cheek. You cupped it there, and he had to will every bone in his body to freeze, to stop himself from nuzzling into your palm.

“I’m here now, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

Your voice was barely above a whisper, trying so hard to push aside your struggling emotions to comfort him. To be there for him. All of this pain and suffering was your fault, you had overestimated yourself, and had been too prideful. And this was the consequence of it.

His hand shakily grabbed onto your wrist, closing his eyes with a deep breath.

“I know.”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

authors note: I LOVE THIS PART !! i really love the way it turned out and i think it sets up for the rest of the story really nicely :)) with the whole RCT thing, dont come for me if its not accurate this is an AU so it works cause i say it does LOL but anyway, thanks so much for reading !! I hope you guys enjoy :))

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