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elysiansparadise · 3 months

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Composite Chart observations

🤍Jupiter or Part of Fortune in the 1st house not only indicates that you feel more joyful with the other, but that when or after being with the other, many opportunities of any kind can come to you. The relationship will bring with it a lot of self-improvement for both and a feeling that things in life become simpler.

🤍When Sun it's in the 7th, 8th or 12th house we find ourselves in a mirror relationship, in which you will show each other the other sides of yourselves that you had never been aware of. They will be more similar than they look, because in terms of core they can be very alike. The other will openly display behaviors that you repress.

🤍A peculiarity of Mars and/or Mercury in the 11th house is that both are likely to have very different personal opinions but very similar goals. They may be very different at first impression and even have very different ways of behaving, but they can understand each other well and go after what they want as a team.

🤍I have noticed that when Saturn is making just positive aspects on a composite chart, it is capable of helping the tensions that some squares can cause, as it adds stability and durability to the dynamics of the relationship, but above all the willingness to solve problems by fact that both see in this relationship something to maintain in the long term.

🤍The Moon-Venus conjunction gives us that relationship in which if one of the parties is moody and the other enters the room, their day immediately brightens. It seems that they only need to see each other to be happier. They evoke a lot of sweetness and tenderness in each other. They will love to take care of each other in every way, from the most practical to the emotional side, without forgetting to mention how comfortable they feel simply being by each other's side.

🤍Jupiter or Saturn in the 10th house cause there to be a mutual and very strong admiration for the person the other is, what they achieve and their ambition. If these planets positively aspect the Sun, Venus or Mercury will constantly let each other know, and even other people.

🤍Having a Stellium in the 11th house makes the dynamic lighthearted, fun and very pleasant for both of you. You will feel that you can be yourself uninhibitedly and be able to express your ideas and emotions without being judged. Likewise, they will have a great willingness to help each other and will awaken the empathetic and altruistic side of the other. They can have very similar worldviews despite differences in temperament and attitude.

🤍Venus in Aries allows the duo to spend many moments of joy and laughter. They may have many similarities between them and love to joke with each other. It is an indicator of playful teasing, of a lot of enthusiasm and fun. They really love each other's company, even if it's just few minutes. They highly value being authentic and transparent with others.

🤍When the Moon or Venus is in the 12th house, it shows us a duo or a couple who is affectionate or more affectionate in private, they may prefer a moment of greater intimacy since it makes them likely to be very reserved people with their feelings but, surprisingly , very open between them.

🤍Neptune in water houses favors emotional connection and the ability to intuit the feelings of the other, also giving the sensation of understanding each other without words and without much difficulty. They can have a very great feeling of adoration and fascination for each other, as well as devotion.

🤍The Moon-Neptune aspects make them deeply connected to each other on an almost inexplicable level. Both not only read and understand each other like no one else, but they seem to quickly feel what the other feels. They can infect each other with their moods. It is even likely that, for example, if one is thinking about the other, the other will send a message or call them on the phone. They absorb each other's mood and can quickly adopt their usual behaviors or phrases even without realizing it.

🤍With Pluto in the 9th house, both will profoundly change the way the other sees things. Being together and having a regular conversation with each other entails many epiphanies, seeing things from other perspectives and feeling that things finally make sense. Both have the goal of teaching each other a lot and fully trust that the other positively influences their lives. They simultaneously add depth and fun to the other person's life.

🤍Having Mars in the angles makes both of you motivated almost instantly. Being next to each other makes them feel energized, motivated and they easily make the other feel capable of achieving and going after everything they want. They can bring out the confident and sociable side of each other.

🤍When you have Venus or Moon in the 10th house, the duo shows others, consciously or unconsciously, the high degree of affection and appreciation they have for each other. People tend to see them as very similar and compatible like each other and they tend to provoke adoration in others. It may even be a couple or pair of friends that others find admirable or your dynamic may be something that people would like to have in their lives.

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #composite chart #composite chart observations #composite chart notes

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piracytheorist · 5 months

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I find it really important that in the last episode, Operation Strix didn't even cross Twilight's mind for a single moment. When he stands outside early in the morning, he becomes determined to "traverse the difficult obstacle" before him... but it quickly becomes apparent that this "obstacle" is simply Anya's inexplicable mood swings.

And while he goes by the entire day going along with whatever Anya asks to do, mentally noting what makes her excited and happy - and what makes her upset, like losing at mini golf - not once does he even mention the "mission". Subconsciously, yes, if asked, he'd say that Anya's happiness and stability is what Operation Strix depends on. But in his immediate thoughts, it's just him trying to make sense of the behaviour he sees, and trying to encourage things that will bring out positive behaviour.

Waiting until Anya gets a scoring point in mini golf. Letting Anya read comics while in the library - and taking note when she starts at the puzzle, then looks upset by it (though he misunderstands the reasons of her change in expression there, as he doesn't know she realized the puzzle wouldn't be an effective distraction for him). Taking her roller-skating, taking her to a magician show, getting her food she seems to enjoy.

And while you could say he's being a little too methodical with it - with all his "observe, analyze" internal orders... that's not really that far from what an actual caring parent does. The ship offers a lot of opportunities for entertainment, and just like a parent who wants to take some time off and offer stimulation and fun to their child, Loid takes a step back and allows Anya to guide him through activities, taking note of the ones she seems to enjoy.

And yet, Anya ends up looking like this.

But this time, Twilight doesn't resort to his usual "I'm a failure of a spy" rhetoric. He is confused, very much so, but he doesn't despair as much. Though getting upset, he puts his determination to see things through in priority.

And at the end? He fears that what will break apart is the Forger family, not Operation Strix.

Subtly, we start to see how his priorities are starting to change. Without him even understanding it, he focuses so much on keeping the family together "for the sake of the mission"... that he completely forgets to even think about the mission.

And then, he tries a quiet and kind approach, fitting it to Anya's needs. He asks Anya if her stomach hurts, he's glad to hear she's having fun but keeps his worried expression to encourage Anya to tell him what's really wrong, and when she shares her feelings, he's supportive, even showing sympathy by saying he would have liked it too if Yor could join them.

His final inner thoughts are him reminding himself that Anya is young enough to sometimes express her emotions in an unpredictable way, and that it was something as simple as missing Yor that made her look upset.

And thus, though he's being realistic about the possibilities of meeting Yor, he offers to try and communicate with her in order for them to meet up. As soon as Anya expresses her concern, he takes the role of understanding her reasons and providing comfort... and all without ever talking about how it would benefit his mission. In this episode, he's simply trying to make a little child feel happy and entertained, listening to her concerns, and offering solutions. And though he may not realize it immediately... the fact that he hasn't been wearing his WISE pin during the entire cruise speaks for itself.

Working as a spy and fully dedicating himself to this way of life is how he's managed to survive in a world of war politics, so it's certainly not easy to fully discard it in one go. But how he goes from "The Handler knew Anya relaxing was about Operation Strix all along" in the previous episode to "Focus on what Anya likes, be supportive and understanding, mission what mission" in this one is very carefully handled to show how even though his methods stay similar, his priorities are slowly shifting.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

#Spy x Family #sxf meta #Loid Forger

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screeblees · 8 months

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Angry ! Yandere x Comfort ! Reader Headcanons

Angry ! Yandere is Male and Reader is Gender Neutral

I used three quotes from @aonungstoefungus post “Yandere Prompts” you can see here. I really liked all their prompts!

Find my Masterlist here !

Please enjoy!! <33

❥ Angry ! Yandere who spent his life filled with anger always raging just beneath the surface of his skin, resting right under the boiling point.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who blew up rather often in his youth, fighting his peers like there’s no tomorrow, swinging fists and rocks and gripping his opponents hair in his hands. By the time they were pulled apart, the other was almost always left with a black eye or a broken nose at the least.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who tried every breathing exercise, every meditation method, every mindfulness activity, every health coping habit, every anger management program, every “calming” drug he could get, every single thing he could find. Yet nothing, nothing, ever helped.

Until you came along…

❥ Angry ! Yandere who felt a blanket of soothing fall over him the very first time he heard you speak in your almost melodic voice - melodic to him at least, it worked on him so why would anyone else’s opinion matter?

❥ Angry ! Yandere who feels the overwhelming need to be in your presence otherwise risking himself only becoming more irritable (than he normally is). Even if you don’t know he’s there, it still helps to just listen.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who became aware that it isn’t just your voice but you, as a whole; your scent, your voice, your tone, your kind demeanour, your actions, your expressions, just you in your entirety. And he can’t get enough.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who is known for his barbarian behaviour at any perceived slight done towards him. This infamous reputation helping to ensure most steer clear of him, even you, at first. Although you tried to avoid him, it seemed like he was everywhere you went, even places he’d never dared to go before, even out-of-character for him to be in. ( “What’re you lookin’ at?” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was pleased when you eventually accepted that he was just everywhere you went and weren’t even cold towards him when he approached you for himself instead of eavesdropping on all your conversations or creepily watching from afar! Or maybe you were just too scared to talk back to him in fear of pissing him off and being at the receiving end of his violence. Oh well, you’d accepted him now.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who realises it isn’t just tranquillity that he feels around you - his heart now feels like it would burst out his chest and for once it wouldn’t be in anger, but in absolute obsession. Of course he’d like to call it love but he knows it is more than that, you are the air he had gone so long without and had now taken a breath of, you are the balance and stability he had never had in his life, in fact, you are his life, his whole world. He’s even waxing poetica in his head for you, that’s how lovesick you make him.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who began recording you talk whenever he’s close enough for a microphone to pick up. Listening to his library of you to keep his head level all day, and to get to sleep at night (among other nightly activities).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who is very forward about wanting to be your friend, inserting himself into conversations and making a point to talk to you at some point every day - the times you speak directly to him helping them feel the most soothed he’d been in a long time.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who’s volatile mood is entirely dependent on you; if you give him your full attention and maybe even a smile then he’ll go about like he’s the most peaceful, untroubled soul around, barely anything will change his mood (other than you, of course) - on the other hand, if you give him minimum attention or he can’t find you, he’ll be twice as furious and violent as his worst day before you came along. So although you could make him seem like a steady, quiet person and bring out the best in him, you also have the potential to turn him into hell’s own with the suffering that will be caused by him for the rest of the day, maybe even the rest of the week.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who scared most of your friends away, leaving you rather isolated from your peers and only more open to him hanging out with you during the school day. Your remaining friends either being entirely online or skittering away at the sight of him, neither of which he really minded as they made way for him.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was ecstatic to find that you even talk in your sleep, taking great joy in visiting you when you’re deep in REM sleep just to listen to your sleepy mumbles, and if he’s feeling brave he may hold your hand. He found comfort in knowing that no-one else got to listen to you whisper what he likes to call sweet nothings. (They’re for him and only him.)

❥ Angry ! Yandere who seethed when he saw someone take interest in you. Who the fuck did they think they were. The next time you saw them they’d been beaten black and blue and avoided you like you’d give them the plague. (No-one gets to have you but him.)

❥ Angry ! Yandere who eventually realises the only way for him to really have you is to take you.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who follows you home one night and just sweeps you off the street, he’s truly sorry for being rough with you but it was for your own good, you needed to be home with them and there was no way you’d come willingly and you would not want to see how irritated that would make him.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who’s furnished basement was just the perfect place to keep you, he’d cleaned up the place and made sure it was escape-proofed and child-proofed. He wouldn’t want his sole source of comfort going through unnecessary harm (or having the tools to leave him).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was on a high after bringing you home knocked-out, tied up and blindfolded for extra safety, which broke almost as soon as you woke up. Your scared, timid voice was endearing at first, but he grew irritated once you began screaming and crying and making your throat go hoarse (despite your intense fear).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who had previously planned to be lenient with you realised that was not going to work. Clearly you needed strict rules, boundaries and schedule and so he would supply you that, some of said rules being;

Speak when spoken to

No even trying to escape

Be respectful

Don’t dare hide anything

Speak like you did before

Answer calls on the first ring

If you want something, ask for it

Don’t flinch away

Stop fucking shaking

Accept your punishments

Don’t run.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who grows sharp with you, finding himself having to punish you far more than he’d thought within your first few weeks together. Maybe being even a little sadistic in his retaliation… ( “What, you thought you were just gonna get away with that?” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who found himself mocking and insulting you in response to your shying away from him or showing your fear of him, especially before and during punishments in which you would shake. ( “Aw, you gonna cry? Go ahead, its not gonna change anything.” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who always felt much better after taking his anger out on you during punishments, then lovebombed you with his gifts and touch. The gifts could range anywhere from something he stole from your house to something really nice he bought with his own (partially stolen) money. He really enjoys having an arm around your waist or shoulders or a hand on your wrist or thigh (or even your neck), he loves you being in reach of him and it makes him feel secure to grasp onto you, to have you grounding him. (Even if he’s a little strong on the grasping).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who believed himself to have semi-successfully trained you to behave for him, to stop trying to hide and escape and rebel, but still, any hint of your mind straying from being a good soother for him pushed him to the boiling point, spitting threats promises at you of what would happen if you continued that line of thinking. ( “Don’t even fucking look at the door. I am trying to have some faith in you after all.” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who enjoys spending hours downloading content for you to consume and talk to him about (once you’d accepted your situation). He asks probing questions just to hear you talk more and loves having you as his own personal sleep aid asmr and podcast throughout the day, urging you to rant to him once he comes home each night as he cuddles you in your chosen seating, whether that be the couch, the bed or even the floor.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who finds classmates remarking on the consistent calmness he presents in himself now that he has you all to himself all safe at home with your melody on speed-dial. After all, you and your calming aura is all for him and only him to enjoy, how much happier could he be…?

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many-shades-of-violence · 8 months

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how they'd comfort you

✢ pairing: Duwang Gang (Josuke, Okoyasu, Koichi, Rohan, Jotaro) x Reader

✢ contents: how the gang would comfort you in their own way

Josuke

"If you're feeling down, just remember that you're not alone. We all go through tough times, but I know you have the strength to get through it. And hey, if you need someone to lend a hand or an ear, I'll be there for you. You're my friend after all.”

-Josuke is naturally friendly and approachable, so I think he would create a comfortable and safe atmosphere for you person to express your feelings.

- Would actively listen to your concerns and feelings without interrupting, showing genuine interest in what you have to say. He would also validate your emotions and let you know that your feelings are understood.

- Josuke would definitely perform small acts of kindness or use his Stand to help improve your surroundings, creating a positive and uplifting environment.

- While Josuke is compassionate, he can also be pretty practical. He might offer actionable advice or suggestions to help you cope with their emotions and work through their difficulties, so be ready to put some work in your emotional baggage. -Josuke has a playful and goofy side, and he might try to lighten the mood by cracking a joke or sharing a funny story. There might even be a hug, a pat on the back, or simply lend his shoulder depending on your relationship and your boundaries.

Okuyasu

"Don't beat yourself up too much. We all make mistakes and have our moments of weakness. But you're a good person, I can just feel that. I've got your belly, and together, we'll make it through anything."

-Okuyasu would offer his presence as a calming and reassuring point, letting you know that he's there to support you.

- He is pretty honest and straightforward, so he might express his concern directly. Would listen attentively to your worries and feelings, allowing you to express themselves without judgment.

- Okuyasu might use simple yet sincere words to provide you comfort. Please excuse, he can be a bit aloof at times.

- Despite all that, he might share his own experiences of overcoming challenges or difficult times to show that he understands what you're going through.

- Might offer a supportive gesture like a friendly pat on the back, a reassuring hand on the shoulder or offering a snack. - Would definitely hype you up and remind you of your strengths and encouraging you to keep going.

Koichi

"You're going through a tough time right now, right? Remember, it's okay to feel the way you're feeling. You're not alone in this.”

- Koichi has a calm and soft-spoken demeanor, which would create a soothing atmosphere for you.

- He would listen carefully and attentively to your troubles.

- Koichi would express empathy by acknowledging your emotions and letting you know that he understands how you feel.

- He might share his own moments of vulnerability and personal struggles to create a sense of connection and show that everyone goes through difficult times. (*looks over to Yukako*)

- Koichi is known for his encouraging and motivational speeches. He would likely offer words of encouragement to boost your spirits and confidence.

- He might perform small acts of kindness to show his support, such as bringing a comforting beverage or offering to spend time together doing something enjoyable.

- Koichi will help you recognize your own worth and help you see yourselves in a more positive light.

- However, he would be mindful of your boundaries and comfort level, ensuring that he doesn't push too hard or intrude on your space.

Jotaro

“Listen, I get it. Life throws some heavy stuff at us sometimes. But you've got to remember, you're tougher than you think. No matter how bad things seem, you've got the power to push through. Take a deep breath, focus on what you can control, and tackle your problems head-on.”

- I feel that Jotaro's calm demeanor would provide a stabilizing influence, you feel more at ease.

- He would likely address your emotions directly once they're out in the open, acknowledging your feelings and showing his genuine concern.

- Jotaro might provide practical solutions or advice on how to address the source of the person's distress, focusing on actions you can take to improve the situation.

- This guy will definitely highlight his own determination and persistence in the face of adversity, inspiring you to adopt a similar mindset.

-Jotaro might offer a reassuring pat on the shoulder or a subtle gesture to show that he's there for you, even if he doesn't like to express his emotions verbally that much.

-Would assure you that he's there for you and will support you in any way he can, even if his approach is more understated.

- Despite his reserved nature, Jotaro would listen attentively to your concerns and give you the space to express yourselves.

- Since he´s very smart, he could help you analyze the situation and think through possible solutions with you, if that's in your boundaries.

Rohan

“Well, well, well, it seems you've found yourself in quite the predicament, haven't you? But let me tell you, challenges like this are what shape us, what make us who we are. Embrace the discomfort, the uncertainty. It's a goldmine for inspiration and growth.” -Rohan would likely use his observational skills to understand your feelings and emotions. He might pay close attention to your body language, expressions, and actions to gain insight into what you're experiencing. -Rohan is known for being straightforward, honest and sometimes quite of an ass, so he would likely address your emotions head-on, without much care for your ego.

-Heaven's Gate allows him to delve into people's memories and emotions. If you're up for it, he might use his stand to help you see the situation from a different angle, or even overwrite it completely. With your full consent only, that is.

-He´s a talented manga artist, so he might use his artistic skills to create a piece to lift your spirit.

-While our pretty boy can be blunt, he also has moments of understanding. He might gently encourage you to confront your emotions and work through them, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and growth.

-Despite his eccentric personality, Rohan would likely respect your boundaries and not push them too far if you're not ready to open up or accept comfort.

#rohan kishibe #rohan #kishibe rohan #jjba part 4 #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba x reader #jojos bizarre adventure x reader #rohan x reader #rohan kishibe x reader #koichi hirose #koichi x reader #okoyasu x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo #josuke higashikata #josuke x reader

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doumadono · 7 months

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emergency request

depression has been kicking my ass lately and making it difficult to exist and function as an adult. i know you did an aizawa req recently, but i would really appreciate daddy!aizawa (or daddy!gojo) x reader where he's taking care of his babygirl who's struggling with self care tasks. if it's okay, pls don't include food/eating.

tysm <3

A/N: I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression lately. It's essential to take care of yourself during challenging times, and I hope these headcanons will bring you a bit of comfort and distraction.

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

AIZAWA

Aizawa, despite his stern and stoic exterior, is incredibly attentive to your needs, especially when you're struggling.

He's a master at reading your body language and picking up on subtle cues that tell him when you're feeling down. Aizawa is typically up late grading papers or patrolling, but when he notices that you're struggling with daily tasks, he makes it a point to be there for you.

He's a man of routine, and he knows that routines can be helpful for managing depression. Aizawa would gently encourage you to establish a daily routine, but he'd never force it. Instead, he'd suggest it as a way to provide structure and stability in your life.

"Babygirl, I know it's tough right now, but let's take care of you, okay? We'll do it together."

He understands that self-care isn't just about physical tasks but also emotional well-being.

When it comes to personal hygiene, Aizawa would be there to help you with things like drawing a warm bath, picking out a soothing bath bomb, and even washing your hair if needed. He'd do it all with the utmost care and gentleness, asking you about your day, and sharing stories from his day as well.

Aizawa takes extra care in washing your hair, massaging your scalp with gentle, circular motions. His touch is both soothing and loving.

"I'm here, babygirl. You don't have to go through this alone," he'd say, his voice low and soothing.

He helps you into comfy pajamas, the ones you love the most, ensuring you're warm and snug.

Aizawa is a fantastic listener. He'll sit with you on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and let you talk or just sit in silence if that's what you need.

He'll encourage you to take small steps toward self-care. Each small accomplishment is a victory.

GOJO

Gojo is the playful and mischievous, but he takes your struggles seriously and will go above and beyond to make you feel better.

He often peppers his words with humor to make you smile. "Come on, princess, let's show this depression who's boss today!"

He'll plan fun activities to take your mind off things. Whether it's watching a funny movie or playing a silly game, he's there to lift your spirits.

Gojo is all about affection. He'll shower you with kisses, hugs, and compliments, constantly reminding you of how amazing you are.

He understands that self-care can be daunting, so he'll break it down into manageable steps.

"How about we start with a bubble bath, and then we'll tackle the rest together?"

He's incredibly patient and understanding, always ready to provide the support you need.

Gojo lets you pick the bath salts and essential oils for your bath. "What scent do you feel like today, sweetheart? Lavender for relaxation, or maybe something citrusy to boost your mood?"

He plays some calming music in the background, creating a serene atmosphere as you soak in the bath.

After the bath, Gojo gently dries your hair and brushes it, making sure you feel cared for from head to toe.

Gojo encourages you to share your feelings and thoughts. He listens attentively, making sure you know that you can always talk to him.

#emergency request #aizawa fluff #gojo fluff #shota aizawa x reader #aizawa x reader #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #aizawa headcanons #gojo headcanons #mha headcanons #bnha headcannons #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #gojo x you #aizawa x you #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #mha fluff #bnha fluff

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hearts4renaa · 10 months

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JUST FOR THE WEEKEND.

summary: visiting your first love from your hometown is always difficult, especially when you both know you won’t be around for long. featuring arataki itto, thoma, and kaveh.

contains: 1.9k words. hurt no comfort. childhood friends to almost lovers.

a/n: i quoted lyrics from tis the damn season by taylor swift :) this honestly hurt to write, as a girl who thinks about hometowns and nostalgia very often

Sleep in half the day, just for old times sake. I won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay.

“Y/N, I got you a farewell gift!” Itto calls out happily. The familiar voice is like music to your ears. Returning home after so long was always interesting; especially since your usual trips frequented less and less as the time went on. But either way, you would come and go. And every time, Itto would be there to greet you with a smile. Leaving your hometown was hard. Leaving him was worse. But a small town in Inazuma couldn’t bring your dreams to life. However, Mondstadt could.

Itto can’t help but feel helpless whenever you return, only for you to leave again. He wanted you to chase your dreams, but he’d just wish he’d be there for that too. Or maybe he wished you’d find a way to stay. No matter what, Itto was there, and your feelings for each other were too. But he knew you’d eventually leave - who was he to hold you back? He remembers the last night before you left. Hushed whispers and pinky promises under the stars, making you swear to visit him as much as you could. “Of course I will, you’re my best friend.” was your response. The two of you knew it was more than that, but speaking up wouldn’t have made the goodbye easier.

You smile at Itto’s enthusiasm. “Oh yeah?” Your voice has a teasing edge.

He grins back, pulling out a small gift box from behind his back. He plops himself next to you, handing you the box. You open it with a screen-worthy smile, gently pulling out the necklace inside. The chain glimmered under the sunset, the pendant shimmering in the dim light. You look closely at the engraved words. “For old times sake.” it read. You feel your eyes sting with tears, facing away from him. You blink rapidly to hold them back, clutching the necklace. “Thank you, Itto.” You choke out. Your back faces him, but you can feel the melancholy coming from his form. Silence emerges between the two of you, apart from your slight sniffles.

“…Did you ever wish you never left?” Itto’s mood is a complete 180. The two of you were now back to back, unable to see the other’s expression.

“What do you mean?” Your voice is quiet. You know damn well what he meant.

“Like, Inazuma.” He says. “Did you ever regret moving away from here? From…” He hesitates for a moment. “…From me? Or us, if we ever even had something like that.”

Your breath hitches in your throat. Of course you regret it. How could you not? Sure, your career might be booming in Mondstadt, but what’s the point of stability with no satisfaction? With no him? Leaving all you had ever known and loved for an opportunity in Mondstadt. Besides, even if things became official, who said you guys would last? You knew you’d be busy. You couldn’t have been there for him like a proper partner. If you could go back in time, you’d turn down every opportunity if it meant you could be next to him. With him. But you couldn’t dump all of that on him now.

He sighed, taking your silence as an answer. You’ve never heard him so dejected before. “It’s okay. I hope Mondstadt is doing you well.” You feel the tears begin to build up again, but you can’t stop them this time. They fall freely, like rain in the night sky. He begins to speak again. “I think we could’ve worked out, you know.”

But that’s what stings the most. He was there. In some other universe, the two of you were happy, the whole time.

So I’ll go back to L.A, and the so-called friends who’ll write books about me if I ever make it. And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking.

Thoma’s arms are locked around you, caging you in as if you’d disappear forever if he dared to loosen his grip. His bedroom is silent, save for the occasional hitched breath or soft sniffle. It was your first visit to Inazuma ever since the Vision Hunt was over, and Inazuma was open again. You left not long before the initial shutdown, and you were unable to return home, finding refuge in Liyue instead. You rebuilt your life in the land of Geo, becoming a successful writer. Liyue became your home, and your time in Inazuma slowly faded from memory. But there was one thing about Inazuma that you would never forget; Thoma. How could you forget him, your first everything. Your first kiss, your first date, the first boy to give you flowers.

Above all, he was also your first heartbreak. The pain of being away from him felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest. But as time went on, you learned to live apart. You learned to be away from him, but being in his arms again makes you feel like you’re right back at square one.

“I have to go, Thoma.” You whisper. “I have to get back home.”

“You are home.” He chuckles lightly. “This is our home.” He gestures to the space around the two of you.

You sigh shakily. “No, Thoma,” You try to get the words out. “Liyue. I need to get back to my home in Liyue.” Your eyes refuse to meet his own.

His heart shatters in an instant as the realization hits him like a boulder. This isn’t your home anymore. He wasn’t your home anymore. To Thoma, nothing screams home more than you did. Your hair, your scent, your touch. Everything about you felt like home. You were his home, but he wasn’t yours anymore. His hold on you loosens.

“Right.” He murmurs. His arms drop slightly, but they’re still wrapped around you. “Liyue.”

You reach over to remove his hands from your frame, gently grasping his wrists. Once you’re fully out of his grip, you take a step back. The space between the two of you feels like the ocean separating your respective nations. Your respective homes. The silence is deafening. Your eyes direct themselves to the floor.

“I really think you’ll change the world someday, just like you dreamed of.” His comment is sudden, but the solemn edge to his voice makes it obvious that he’s been thinking about it for a while. You glance over at him. His eyes are downcast, deep in thought. “And I’ll cheer you on the entire time.”

That comment floored you. Your tears ran freely across your cheeks, creating rivers of salt. “Thank you…” Were the only words you could choke out. The two of you sat in silence for a while, but the setting sun told you that it was over. It’s time to go.

You make your way to his door, and he seems to catch on, following behind you. “Think of me while you make history, okay?” He lets out a sad laugh. You turn to face him one last time. A wry smile etched itself onto his face. You hug him one last time. You hug him so tightly it almost seems like you’re trying to commit his body to memory. He squeezes back. His lips brush against your ear.

“Have a safe trip home.”

And the heart I know I’m breaking is my own. To leave the warmest bed I’ve ever known.

“The Akademiya is running wild over Y/N’s return.” Alhaitham mumbled, flipping the page of his book. Kaveh freezes for a moment. The pair were in the Akademiya library, each doing a personal activity. Kaveh sets his pen down, rolling up his latest project without a word. Alhaitham’s eyes look up from his book, veiled sympathy in his look. “Do you think you’ll greet them?”

Kaveh sighs softly. “I don’t know. It’s been a while.” And he was right. It’s been over a year since you graduated from the Akademiya. Beloved and idolized by so many scholars, you made the choice to leave Sumeru in hopes of traveling the world. You made the choice to leave him. Kaveh, your childhood best friend, the boy next door. The boy who saw all your worst times. The boy who cushioned every fall and lifted you up again. The boy who adored you, but was far too afraid to bring it up. The boy who loved you endlessly, even as he watched you leave, unknowing that you felt the same.

He doesn’t even get the time to fully ponder Alhaitham’s question before he notices a figure begin to near in the corner of his eye. “Kaveh,” A voice says. He didn’t need to fully look up to know it was you. Alhaitham’s eyes flicker between the two of you before he ultimately decides to take his leave, muttering a quick goodbye. Having no choice but to face you, he turns his head to look up at you from his seated position.

“Hey.” His voice is meek, as if he was afraid to overstep. You notice his awkwardness, deciding to take the seat across from him. The silence is almost painful. Anyone could tell that the tension between the two of you was so thick it could’ve been cut with a blade. “How Liyue?” He asks, finally mustering the courage.

You hum, grateful for the long awaited conversation prompt. “It’s pretty great. I got to learn a lot of things.” He sees the way your eyes have a certain shine when talking about this foreign region. It stings him to see how he used to see that shine in your eyes back in your Akademiya days. Back when you weren’t so far away. You smile softly as you retell a brief recap of your Liyue adventures.

“I’m glad.” He says. “I’m happy that you got to do what you dreamed of.” His timid smile throws you off, and you realize that the once lived familiarity between the two of you is long gone. And you know that things like that can’t just snap back after a year of each other’s absence. The silence returns. You feel as if you’re suffocating.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You whisper.

He flinches. “Tell you what?” He’s nervous, and you can tell by the way his eyes dart back and forth anxiously.

“That you loved me.” Your eyes are like storms as you look at him. Not the thunder bringing storms, but the kind with the heavy rain where the ‘pitter-patter’ keeps you up all night. He was taken aback. Was he that obvious? Were you really able to tell? “I already know, Kaveh.” A sad smile etches itself onto your face.

“Yeah, I did.” He finally responds. You’re the one who flinches this time. Not because he admitted to it with little to no resistance, but because of his choice of words. Did. Not that he does. Past tense, did. He did love you. He loved you in the past, but he doesn’t right now. You freeze up, immediately going silent.

He takes note of your discomfort and stands up, beginning to pack up his things. “Sorry, Y/N.” He apologizes. “I have… some things to work on.” You’re silent the entire time. He carries his things into his arms before looking back down at your sitting form. He opens his mouth to speak once more. He hesitates. His mouth closes. He turns around without a word, his figure slowly but surely disappearing from your line of vision.

You sit and watch him leave, the same way he did for you.

#genshin #genshin impact #thoma x reader #itto x reader #kaveh x reader #aratako itto x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin imagines

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bleedingichorhearts · 7 days

Text

𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗 XVI

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Man, now why you gotta do all that? Causing all the trouble?

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog. (For the newly tagged. This is considered an older, continued story of mine. So, beware.)

TW // Slightly NSFW.

I hissed as Dacre lightly touched my bruised arm, a tiny coo coming out of the Dark Angel in an apology.

“It’s fine, it just hurts.” I huff, clenching my teeth together when he continued to wrap up my sprained arm. Nuzzling it when he was finished.

He cooed again, more sadly this time. An apology if anything as he laid himself on top of my stomach. My other hand coming up to pat and thread my fingers through his greasy black hair that was due for a bath.

Looking down at him, I could see his conflicting thoughts going through that mind of his. His eyes clouding over while his gauntlet twitched here and there. I could tell that he was telling himself that he should go back and take revenge for his lost partner, but at the same time he has never moved away from my side.

He stuck around me like glue. Never letting me wander off too far without him. Not like I could anyways, having a sprained ankle and arm was not an efficient way to get anywhere, but he took care of me in this… warehouse? Abandoned building? Giving me any food and water bottles that he could find while he goes out to scope out the area.

At least, that’s what I think he does. Sometimes he comes back way later than he planned, frustrated with himself. That’s where he comes in and checks up on me and lays himself down on my stomach. Finding some comfort in it.

It weirded me out at first, but I noticed it relaxed the Dark Angel down like that. He liked how I would thread my fingers through his hair. A quiet purr coming out of him when I embraced him, but I couldn’t help but think of why he was acting so… protective?

I know his partner got sliced into two halves by the Knight, but that doesn’t give him a reason to protect me. If anything, I should have died with Clyde. Whether it was by Dacre hand or theirs. I’ve heard how Astartes gone feral after their supposed bonded died, some ending up in brutality.

So, why didn’t Dacre kill me? Why didn’t he leave me to the Knight? Was it not in his blood, or his duty to do so? Was it out of a command? A dying wish? A promise?

I sighed, gently twirling Dacre hair with my finger. Maybe, I just was the next best thing closest to him? That I was his closest stability?

Though, this brings up another question. Why do I remember the Gray Knight from somewhere? Like I’ve met him before? It would partially make sense if I did. I mean, I don’t remember anything after being stuck in the hospital with little Salem in my arms.

Oh, my little Salem.

I hope he was doing alright. I know he was still alive; a mother knows their child after all, and it didn’t seem like he wasn’t their target. Probably charming his way through. I tried to brighten my mood, but the thought of Salem crying out to me haunts my ears. It gives me delusions that I was hearing him when he wasn’t around at all. It scared me awake sometimes.

Then it suddenly hit me, my fingers stopping mid thread through Dacre's hair, a low hum coming from him. His eyes looking up at me with drowsy eyes.

Thinking back on it, I remember The Knight saying, “Where is she?” Demanding the appearance of someone, some female. Not my little Salem. “I don’t know who you’re talking about there knight.” I remember Clyde responding way too quickly, shifting a lot his spot too. It was clear that Clyde knew what he was talking about, but blatantly ignored the Knights orders. Getting him killed in a… gory, unforgiving way.

“You… knew them.” I muttered out, snapping Dacre out of his drowsy state. “You knew the Knight.”

The Dark Angel resting in my lap rises slowly, curving his body over mine while I shuffled back a little on the makeshift bed. His usual brown eyes staring me down, and I swore I saw a hint of red in them. Something I never saw in this Dark Angel before. He was usually calm and collected, never going further unless he needed to. Unless he wanted to.

This is not the Dacre I remember.

The Dark Angel rumbles lowly, leaning his head down closer to my shoulder and I felt like I had to hold my breath to not agitate the Dark Angel anymore. His breath fanning against my neck, tickling it while I swallowed down my nerves. My eyes following his ever so slow movements.

He presses his lips under my ear, then another and another as I suppress my nerves to shiver at the slow, appalling, and dragging contact. He was not the same Dacre I remember. This Dacre was different, more… shadowed, unpredictable. Did his partner's death change him more than I thought?

“Dacre…” I whisper, his head tilting slightly at my words. “You’re… keeping something away from me aren't you?”

His gauntlet shoots forwards and takes me by the neck, squeezing it lightly while he turns my head away from him. Small coughs running out of my mouth. A warm wetness pressing up against the side of my throat.

“Dacre.” I try again, squeezing my eyes shut as he puts more pressure on my neck. A low rumble batting into my ear as I could feel his teeth nibbling at my skin.

I jerked in his hold, crying out when he sunk his teeth into my shoulder. His hand tightening around my neck, cutting off my airflow as I gasp out. My hand coming up to claw at his gauntlet. My vision slowly becoming blurry as he marked my neck.

My god did it hurt, and it ached badly when he let go and lapped at it. Deep, quiet purrs running through him as he continuously lapped at it. Almost sounding apologetic, but they didn’t sound, nor feel apologetic. It felt wrong.

I coughed when he released my neck a bit. My hand that was clawing at his gauntlet falling to rest besides me, becoming suddenly exhausted. My own blood, slathering with his saliva painting against my heated skin.

I whine as he slowly guides me back down on the makeshift bed by the neck. His tongue and teeth still lapping and nipping around the mark he’s made before his head perks up. A small growl leaving him as he looks around the room before he straightens himself up and leaves me to my restless, but tiring confusion.

What the hell did he just do to me? Did he in some way drug me? Making me feel all tired? That Dark Angel didn’t even answer my claim! Admittingly, it was a touchy subject for him, but he definitely knows them.

That was something I so sure of. I mean, it also doesn't make sense they would pop up out of nowhere and that I give birth to my little Salem without knowing who the father was. Without knowing what my past was. It just... didn't make sense!

It was like I was ripped from my life from before, and maybe that's exactly what happened? It was my only logical reasoning left to think about before I fell asleep, too exhausted to try and stay awake.

I just want my little Salem back.

ℕ𝕖𝕩𝕥 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣: 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗 XVII

ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣: 𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗 XV

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥: “𝕮𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗” 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖎𝖘𝖙

#story #warhammer 40k #space marine husbandry sentience #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #space marine x reader #adeptus astartes #astartes x reader #polyamory #polyandry #polygynandry #tw: yandere #not particularly happy with this one

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huntinglove · 4 months

Note

💧, 🕊 for sebastian!

Hi hi!! Thank you so much for the ask!!

💧: How well do they comfort each other when they’re upset?

It really depends on the situation.

Sometimes, Sebastian is the sweetest person in the world and knows exactly what to say to calm me down or cheer me up!

Other times, he doesn't find the right words and just prefers to show me some companionship until I'm able to stabilize myself.

He usually gives me a nice and warm hug, petting my hair and helping me shake off whatever got me in a bad mood.

It's always easy to cheer him up, he usually just needs me to listen to him and give him some affection, which I'm always happy to do!

It's hard for him to be vulnerable, but I'm always thankful that he feels safe enough with me to talk about how he's feeling and to allow me to hold him when he needs to cry

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

Our usual routine is:

Sebastian waking up at 5:30 and making both of us some coffee and breakfast

Me getting up at 6:00 and eating some food and drinking the coffee he's made for me

After that, I'm off to take care of the farm! He usually helps me water the plants or feed our cat

I spend most of the day in the skull caverns and I always make sure to bring him something cool from there too!

When I get home at night, we have dinner and lay down together, talking about our day until we both fall asleep

#✯ lovely asks #❥ rainy days and frozen tears

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long-distance-love · 5 months

Note

Sorry for spam reblogging your posts recently.

I'm in a ldr and honestly I go a little insane when we are apart. I'm really fortunate that we can see each other every 1-2 weeks, but I kind of start losing my mind during the 2 week+ mark. The longest we've gone apart was a month and e half.

We met online and honestly it feels like I've known him forever. We were originally 6 hours away from each other and could see each other once a month. Now I moved and we're an hour and some apart and can meet up on the weekend.

I never expected to be in a straight-ish relationship (I'm a demi bi but I lean heavily sapphic) and now I literally cannot imagine life without him. Its funny because I didn't even like him in the beginning when we were talking on the phone and thought it'd pass in a few weeks, but we've been dating for almost a year. We have talked loosely about it, but I'm highly considering bringing up marriage after the holidays.

I'm sort of rambling, but I wanted to say thank you for having this blog. It helps me process and deal with the yearning in between visits.

Hi Nonny,

We absolutely love people spam reblogging our stuff, so we won't accept your apology!!

It's okay to not feel well when you're not together with your loved ones. Being together in the same space has loads of benefits both mentally and physically - you may be calmer, sleep better, be in a better mood. And that's okay, LDRs are quite the roller-coaster rides when it comes to mood. Try to call as much as possible, i.e. Benny and I found it easiest to incorporate video calls into our day-to-day schedule and it helped cultivate a bit of stability. Otherwise you need to find things to do on your own unfortunately, which I know is easier said than done!

I'm very happy you've found this blog a comfort - that's all I wanted when I started sharing our journey here, to offer a bit of solace and encouragement to those who go through long distancing. 💕

- Danny

P.S. It's amazing to see other demi bi folks find love, good for us haha!

#danny loves #benny & danny asks #relationship #couples in love #long distance relationship #long distance couple #long distance problems #long distance love #long distance relationship advice #relationship asks #relationship questions #relationship advice #long distance call

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random-conspiracy · 9 months

Text

The Extraordinary Oracle

Oh, well. Here's the actualized (5 minutes ago) list of cards. Remember, the deck has NO names but I need to keep track of them in some way so here we are :]

Consultant 1

Consultant 2 (the partner in couple readings, optional)

Young person 1

Young person 2

Adult 1

Adult 2

Old person (age, pass of time, wisdom, grandparents)

Baby (innocence, begginings, novelty, children)

House (comfort, privacy, family [found one or blood one])

Field house (optional for extended family)

Heart

Happiness

Fidelity

Hope

Dandelions in concrete (constance, stability over everything, grow)

Tenderness

Peace (reconciliation, rest, tranquility)

Kindness

Medal (fame, improvement, high honours)

Pride

Friendship

Delight

Desires (dreams, ambitions, ilusions)

4 leaf clover (small luck, odds at your favor, some money, good omen)

Money

Party (celebration, fun)

Bouquet (gift)

Doctor (educated person, who brings you help and advice)

Fortune (Big luck. Sudden success)

Date (flirting, meeting)

Energy (enthusiasm, motivation)

Conversation

Fire (passion, horniness, out of control)

Crossroads (decisions, possibilities, taking different paths)

Bootlicker (SIMP [I doon't like the term but you understand])

Waiting

Garden (an awful lot of people, town, city, social circles)

Ring (compromise, romantic couple, formal bound)

Butterfly (lightness, inconstancy, short duration)

Travel

Work (occupation, effort)

What's coming (news, visits, novelty, someone in the way)

What goes away (someone running away, lost things)

Curiosity (desire to know, meddling, spy)

Clown (ridicule, clown of the class, 🤡)

Change

I don't see, I don't hear, I don't talk (wisdom, negation)

Wall (obstacles, boundaries)

Judgment (legal or social)

Justice

Boredom (disinterest)

Shrimp (time's running out, laziness, lack of attention)

Surprise

A long road

Brave

Intellectual

Private room

Mesage (phone, computer, letters, documents, texts)

Thoughts

Lunatics (dellusions, madness, being very high)

Autorithy (someone in power, institution, order, building)

Key (solution, answer, "get free of jail" card)

Repentant (guilt, one who seeks forgiveness)

Drama

Plant pot (conformism, limited grow, superficiality)

Rat (thief, parasite)

Fear (doubts, anxiety, uncertany)

Rage (anger, fights)

Disgust

Misery

Siren (seduction, tramp, under someone else's control)

Dark clouds (small bad luck, odds against you, bad mood, bad omen)

Mask (false appearances, lies, deceit)

Sadness

Sickness

Sighs (nostalgia, miss something)

Misfortune (big bad luck, disaster)

Gelosy

Prision (loneliness, chained, no options)

Snake (hate, enemy, bad intentions, rotten environment)

Death (ends, funerals)

Thin ice (danger, tension)

Broken heart (treason, disappointment, pain)

Cop (oppression, authority abuse, orders)

"That person" (third wheel, ex, the other woman/man)

Handshake (teamwork, what changes hands)

The weight of the world (a lot of stuff going on, unespected complexity, stress, speed)

Past (memories, ghosts talking)

Alley (what is done in secret or under the table)

Broom (putting things in order, domestic duties)

Shield (protection, strenght)

Artist (hobbies and projects, creations, sensibility)

FLYING PIG (the extraordinary, miracle, anomaly, what shouldn't be but is)

I'm not sure if 93 (and counting) cards are a good idea but who cares hashasa. If you wish to prove this I'll let this here. Ask a question, pick 3 "cards"

#the extraordinary oracle #el oráculo extraordinario

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ghost-party · 1 year

Text

Thanks for commissioning me, @bluebellhairpin! I had so much fun choosing a match for you. 🤗

I’ve matched you with… Reiner!

MBTI Compatibility

INFPs are known as the Mediator. This personality type is known for its passion, creativity, and sensitivity. It’s easy to write them off as quiet, but in reality, they’re highly imaginative and natural storytellers. Empathy is one of their strongest qualities, and they’re not one to settle for relationships in which they feel disconnected or neglected.

Reiner is an ESFJ — a Consul. ESFJs have a strong desire for close friendships and relationships, and the idea of community is very important to them. They often adhere to a sense of duty and take on the task of bringing people together, as well as helping them thrive. ESFJs are resolute in their beliefs and perceptions, which means they can be stubborn when faced with disagreement.

INFPs and ESFJs have some fundamental differences. While INFPs tend to find it easier to embrace change, ESFJs value tradition and stability, making it more difficult for them to accept change. Consistency and predictability are more comfortable for them, so it’s important for these types to communicate their feelings and figure out a compromise. But INFPs and ESFJs have great potential to learn and grow together, providing balance and support for one another.

Astrological Compatibility

Geminis often get a bad reputation for being “two-faced” when, in reality, they are intellectually curious and often struggle to balance their many interests and pursuits. Their mind is often in many places at one time, and oftentimes, this can lend itself to creative versatility.

Reiner is a Leo. This sign is known to be compassionate, generous, and perhaps stubborn at times. Often seen as natural leaders, Leos enjoy having fun and spending time around people who understand and appreciate them. Words like “ego” and “drama” are often thrown around when it comes to this sign, but Reiner is less concerned about these things and leans more into his passionate, ambitious side.

These two signs are an incredibly compatible match. Their personalities lend themselves to a playful, exciting relationship. Leos believe that variety is the spice of life, and Geminis are creative and open-minded. Air and fire signs work well together both romantically and platonically, and in this case, a Gemini can praise and encourage a Leo’s “fiery” ambitions.

These signs do, however, express their energy in different ways. While Geminis are always moving and changing, Leos have a tendency to stick to their present ideas. It’s important for both signs to communicate their points of view and learn how to compromise. It does help that Geminis value personal freedom and won’t force Leos to be something they’re not.

SFW Headcanons

• Reiner is someone who appreciates words of affirmation, and he’s always happy to praise and encourage you, especially on tough days. He likes to do whatever he can for you, whether it’s taking care of some household chores or running an errand you’ve been avoiding. And as someone familiar with loss, it’s especially important to him to make time for the ones he loves — you, most of all. He doesn’t want to live his life with regrets, and he’s learned that most things can wait. For him, you come first.

• Since he knows you find it annoying when people just randomly pick you up, taking advantage of your smaller size, he always asks first before he lifts you in his arms. If you’re not in the mood, he doesn’t take offense. But if you are okay with it, he’ll hold you tight and give you a big, long hug. It makes him happy to have you close to him. Even when your feet remain firmly on the ground, his larger size is apparent when you walk beside each other or cuddle on the couch.

• Reiner is skilled at doing things with his hands. He’s a quick learner, attentive and detail-oriented, but he’s also realized that keeping busy usually helps to quell his anxiety. He’s happy to learn archery from you, and it feels nice when you physically guide his hands on the bow or help to adjust his grip on the arrow. He also enjoys playing video games together. Despite his friendly, laidback nature, he can get pretty competitive, but he also really likes co-op games and RPGs.

• He’s lived a somewhat tumultuous life, and it’s made him very appreciative of what he has, along with who he spends time with. He’s patient and content with moving at a slower pace, if need be. He’s an excellent listener, too. While he can be talkative and outgoing in social settings, more so among his closest friends, he’s generally a quieter guy, and much more thoughtful than many assume upon meeting him. Whenever you need to vent or talk something over, he’s there for you. And he knows you’ll always be there for him in the exact same way.

• Partly because he’s dealt with so much over the years, he’s learned that life is way too short to be serious all the time. There’s nothing he loves more than having fun with you, and when you toss a sarcastic joke his way or engage him in an amusing back-and-forth, he’s quick to give as good as he gets. You could say banter is one of his love languages, one he learns and fine tunes over time, based on his partner. But even through his joking and teasing, you never have to wonder if he’s taking things too personally. He knows you. And he knows you would never say or do something to hurt him.

• When Reiner decides to buy a motorcycle, he’s excited to take small — or, if your schedules allow it, longer — trips with you and explore new places. If he could, he would see the whole world with you by his side. But he’ll settle for making as many memories as he can, having a picnic at a park you’ve never been to, or stopping for lunch someplace that looks interesting. Although he appreciates planning some things ahead of time, he can also be spontaneous, depending on what you’re in the mood for. Honestly, he’s just happy to have your arms wrapped around him, tucked in against his back as the two of you ride.

Drabble

It’s a gray, rainy day — perfect for checking out your local art museum’s newest exhibit. Or at least that’s what you thought.

It’s been several weeks since it opened, so you weren’t expecting a huge crowd. But when you and Reiner step inside the first room, the largest in the wing, you’re surprised to realize the two of you are completely alone.

“Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves,” Reiner murmurs, wrapping a strong arm around your waist as the two of you walk a little further.

You lean into his embrace, enjoying his familiar warmth, but also taking advantage of his steadying presence. The room is purposely dark, the only lights in the space small, focused ones serving to illuminate the countless glass pieces carefully arranged on pedestals.

Looking up at your boyfriend, you can see the various colors moving over his face as you both make your way around the outer perimeter.

He’s always handsome, in a way that always makes you feel a little giddy. But he looks even more so as he smiles, his skin brightened with reflected hues of gold and burnt orange.

Hugging you closer, he whispers, “C’mere… Trust me.”

You can’t help but feel confused, though, when he leads you over to a wide bench and proceeds to lie down on it.

“I didn’t realize it was nap time,” you joke, and he huffs out a laugh.

“I said trust me, didn’t I?”

He opens his arms wide, and after one last glance around, making sure you’re truly alone, you sigh and lie on top of him, back to chest. He kisses the top of your head in silent thanks, then points up at the ceiling, holding you tight.

“Look… Isn’t it beautiful?”

It’s only then that you realize the glass sculptures are casting reflections onto the vaulted ceiling, like swirling constellations in the dark of night.

Reiner must feel your intake of breath, because you feel him chuckle beneath you. “Let’s stay here a while.” His hand curls around your hip, and you feel him relax, as he always does when he has you near.

“I want to remember this moment with you.”

NSFW Headcanons

• Reiner usually prefers soft sex, and he enjoys positions where he can see your face. He likes to watch your expression, to see how much pleasure he’s bringing you. But it also gives him the perfect opportunity to kiss you — something he can never seem to get enough of. Even when you’re both pressed for time, he never fails to make you feel adored and taken care of, his touch firm but somehow also gentle, showing you just how deeply he loves you.

• He knows you like his thighs. It’s not hard to notice how you watch him climb on and off of his motorcycle. And when the two of you are spending the night at home, gaming or watching TV, he’s come to expect you to sit in his lap or lie across it, your head nestled against his legs. It’s what prompts him to suggest you try thigh-riding. If you tell him you’re interested, he makes sure you’re seated comfortably before using his large hands to carefully guide you, murmuring praise all the while.

• When you’re out in public, he pays close attention to your reactions when he holds your hand or gives you other gentle touches. If you’re receptive, he’ll keep doing it, using physical contact to continuously remind you of his constant affection. It can also act as foreplay, especially if you’re out somewhere and plan to head home right after. His fingers will trail down your spine before settling on your lower back, both possessive and comforting. He likes to pull you close, press kisses to your temple, murmur in your ear how beautiful you look, how he can't wait to have you all to himself later.

• He has a possessive streak and will gladly mark you, though he always softens it with praise — “You’re such a good girl, letting me do this… Especially here, where your shirt might not cover it.” He kisses the spot he recently sucked into your skin, between your neck and the curve of your shoulder. “I love that someone might see it. They’ll know you’re mine, won’t they?” His tone turns a little teasing as he continues to kiss you, his mouth eagerly moving down to your chest.

🧡 Want your own commission? Click here for more info!

#ghost-party’s commissions

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gentlecowardice · 11 months

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coward

you are so gentle it’s terrifying. you speak of me so kindly and i feel guilt because i cannot do the same, because when i look at you sometimes i feel nothing yet sometimes i feel absolutely everything and even that scares me; i am a coward in the worst of ways, shrinking back from your attention and your love–if it might be love, i do not know if it is just as i do not know anything about you aside from your voice, your touch, your lips, your favorite colors, your hobbies, what you want in life aside from a life with me–and i cannot bring myself to breathe when you look at me.

i don’t like physical touch at the best of days but you love it even on your worst days, you give me little gifts out of nowhere and it aches, the hole in my heart trying to mend with something golden yet i force it open again and again because i am scared. i am terrified. your patience is not endless yet you treat me as it is, you have not intentionally hurt me ever and i hope you never will because i don’t think i could handle it if it came from you. sometimes i wonder what will happen when i am gone; will you take to hating me like him or will you look at me like a fond memory? will you wait for me even if i am not ever coming back?

love is a terrifying thing in the fact that it consumes you whole and it has hit you. it has not hit me because i don’t let it.

you are weak. you are weak in every way there is; words hit you hard but actions hit you even harder and so i know the look of hurt in your eyes when i pull away from a touch that feels like too much and fries all my nerves is real, even if it may not be intentional, even if it isn’t your fault. i’m sorry for it all because you deserve so much more than me but any moment of weakness feels like it’s tearing apart my insides and i don’t feel safe enough to sleep when i am next to you, my shoulders draw tense and my head bows low and i pray for you to disregard me because i know the attention would hit me directly in the place i don’t want it to touch, don’t want anyone to touch; because that is weakness, being open and free and loving is weakness.

i don’t think you share the same sentiment. you look at love like it is something wonderful, something all-forgiving and something you seek out for comfort, for soft touches and gentle words and happy laughter but i do not. you look at me like i am the sun and i worry i can’t return that.

but your smile, your smile shines brighter than the night sky; and your laugh is prettier than any melody i could ever hope to listen to, and the way you look at me is so fond and so loving that i just have to shy away from it, put some distance and hope you understand. because when i don’t, i am exposed. i am raw, uncut; you can see all my splintered edges and wobbly legs and the crooked edge of my teeth. i have bared my teeth to the world for all to see and i am not afraid of anyone because i have fought tooth and nail to get to where i am now, even if it’s little improvement but it’s here and i struggle to feel proud of myself.

my shaky hands cannot bring me to grasp onto yours for a sense of stability because my problems are not yours and never have been and yet you want them to be. you want to help me, you want to lick my wounds so that i don’t have to do it myself. and this is the purest form of anything that could exist; too pure for me. i am undeserving, unyielding, suffering a torrent of harsh waves every day where my mood is flipped up and down like a switch and i don’t know how to handle it in a way that doesn’t involve hurting you so that you may finally leave me and find someone better. i retaliate; i retaliate in any way i know, whether it is following strange boys on social media or putting on a bit too sweet of a tone when i talk to guys or forcing myself to look cold towards you in hopes that you’ll realize that i am not a good person.

i am not a good person because i crave hurt, whether it’s on me or on you or anyone. my desires consist of inflicting pain so that i may repay the world for making me feel like this, for making it a bit too hard to get out of bed or for making it feel pointless to eat because what does it matter, anyway? we all end up in the same place, we all die. me taking up smoking was a way to try and urge it along, to return to my Lady and be at peace for once in this godforsaken life. but you have made me want to stop; the taste of alcohol and the high of anything i could take is nothing compared to you, your smile, your eyes, even the shape of your nose.

i don’t love you because i don’t believe i am capable of love. i have committed too much to be deserving of an escape like that. i have thought too much of red spilling across the carpet when i am holding a knife to dare think about love like you do. i want to bash the girl who looked at you’s head into a wall and make her bleed, rip out her hair, eat her insides because it finally might relieve me of the ache in my chest even though she has not genuinely done anything to wrong me but i need the taste of iron, red dripping off my lips and smeared across my cheeks–

and i know you would not care. you would smile, wipe off the blood and tears, and say “it’s still you, it’s still you” and you would find a way to love me again.

my heart aches. it has ached for my entire life, just like my palms ache when i grab onto you a little too hard and say a silent prayer for you to stay, just like my eyes ache when i force them away from you, just like every part of my body aches having to get up and do everything in my day to day life when i could just sleep it all away. and the worst part is, i know you’d be waiting for me when i wake up.

i am not made for gentleness. i am not made for kind words and even kinder touches; i was made for something harsh, for bruises spattering along pale skin, coloring it black and blue; for words spat at me from a place of anger yet i come back every time like a wounded, crying dog, because the bads may be bad but the goods are better, i rationalize. and that’s not how it goes with you. you take care of me, you want to talk to me. i do not have to beg and plead for even a second of your attention because you give it regardless, you devote every second of your time to me, sending me things you see and think of me, giving me gifts that are from the heart even if i do not like them. all i can offer you is a carcass, a hollow, empty husk of a person; a dead animal dragged up to your door in fondness like a cat to make sure you are eating because surely you cannot hunt for yourself, you are too incapable, too gentle, too kind and i will do the bad for you so you remain pure and kind whereas it is too late for me, i am already tainted; what does another bad matter? but you are capable of so much more, you are capable of creating life and of loving and i envy you for it.

we are too similar in ways we shouldn’t be and too different in everything at the same time but i am drawn to you and i hate it. i want to sink my teeth into something, scream until my throat is raw, let the world know i am angry; everybody else gets to be angry, why can’t i? i just want to be rid of this feeling and it works, it works when i claw at my throat and my wrists, when i sink the boxcutter into my arm just far enough to bleed, when i hold my hand over the open flame of a lighter for a little too long, when the smoke leaves my lungs and all that’s left is the faint buzz in my head. but i cannot even have that little satisfaction anymore because every time i do it i think of you. i think of you, you loving me, you calling me sweet names, you never being anything other than kind and gentle and loving to me. and it makes me want to stop, it makes me want to call for you, ask you for help because you’d know how to help, you’d love me through it all and anything i could ever do to myself or someone else. “it’s still you,” you’d say, and kiss my forehead.

please poison me. rid me of this feeling. do something bad, just something, one thing; a horrible, horrible thing so that i may justify this, so that i may have a reason for the quiet annoyance, so that i may have a reason for the way touch scorches my skin and leaves aching, painful marks. it would be a kinder fate than this. it would be a kinder fate than being loved.

#poetry #poems #poetic #spilled ink #prose #poet #quotes #quotations #words #love quote #literature

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legerclinic · 7 months

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Benefits and Risks: Weighing the Decision to Start HRT

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is a treatment that helps women going through menopause. It gives back the female hormones, like oestrogen and progesterone, which become lower during menopause. These hormones are essential for the body, and when they drop, they can cause problems like hot flashes, mood swings, and vaginal dryness.

HRT aims to bring those hormone levels back up, making many women feel better and relieving their symptoms.

Many women talk and think about something called Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) when they’re getting close to menopause. It’s like a medical choice. People look at the good things it might do and the not-so-good things it might do, and they decide if it’s worth it.

Whether you’re just learning about HRT for women or thinking about doing it, knowing the good and not-so-good parts to choose what’s best for your health is essential.

The Benefits of HRT for Women

Relief from Menopause Symptoms:

One of the most compelling reasons women rely on HRT is to reduce bothersome menopausal symptoms. These can range from hot flashes and night sweats to mood changes and sleep disturbances. For many, HRT offers a reprieve, restoring balance and comfort.

Protection Against Osteoporosis:

Bone health can decline as women age, increasing susceptibility to fractures. HRT for women can play a vital role in maintaining bone density reducing the risk of osteoporosis-related fractures.

Improved Mental Clarity:

Some women experience memory lapses or ‘brain fog’ during menopause. HRT has been observed to enhance cognitive function and memory in some women, although research in this area is ongoing.

Better Skin Health:

Estrogen, one of the hormones supplemented in HRT, promotes collagen production. This can lead to improved skin elasticity and a reduction in the appearance of wrinkles.

Potential Risks Associated with HRT

Increased Risk of Breast Cancer:

Studies have demonstrated a potential link between certain types of HRT and an elevated risk of breast cancer. Discussing this with a healthcare professional like The Leger Clinic is essential, considering factors such as the type and duration of HRT and individual risk factors.

Cardiovascular Concerns:

For some women, particularly those who start HRT after age 60 or many years after menopause, there might be an increased risk of heart disease or stroke. However, younger women, closer to the onset of menopause, may not face the same risks.

Blood Clots:

Estrogen can increase the risk of blood clots in the legs or lungs, especially during the first year of use. This risk factor can vary depending on the method of HRT (for instance, transdermal patches may pose a lower risk than oral tablets).

Potential Influence on Mood:

While HRT can stabilize mood for many, it might intensify mood disorders in a small subset of women. Those with a history of mood-related conditions should discuss this potential effect with their doctor.

Making the Decision: Points to Ponder

HRT for women isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Personalizing the decision based on individual health profiles, concerns, and lifestyles is crucial. Here are a few pointers to aid in your decision-making process:

Consultation is Key:

Your primary healthcare provider or a specialist in women’s health can provide a clear picture of what to expect from HRT, considering your medical history and present health status.

Short-term vs. Long-term:

If you decide to start HRT, consider the duration. Some women might only need it for a short term to navigate the initial turbulence of menopause, while others might benefit from longer durations.

Stay Updated:

Medical research is ongoing, and recommendations can evolve. Stay updated with the latest findings on HRT for women and regularly discuss them with your doctor.

Listen to Your Body:

Your body’s reactions and comfort levels are paramount. If you start HRT and experience discomforting side effects, it’s essential to report them and re-evaluate the decision with your healthcare provider.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the decision to start HRT for women requires a thoughtful consideration of its benefits and risks. While HRT can offer improved quality of life, vitality, and protection against specific health concerns, it also has potential hazards that you must weigh. With proper consultation, up-to-date information, and a keen ear for your body’s responses, you can decide to prioritize your health and well-being.

The Leger Clinic is a premier service where you can find help for any sexual difficulty, whether a medical problem or something you’re feeling emotionally. You can have peace of mind knowing that you’re being looked after by some of the most knowledgeable doctors in this specialized field.

Original Source: https://shorturl.at/bqKV5

#hrt for women

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microfinanseer · 8 months

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Let's talk distractions and slowing down. Last week flew by me, and before I realized I hadn't blogged, it was the weekend. Honestly, the days ran together and away from me at the same time.

We got to Merida, Yucatan in Mexico on the evening of August 3. Eleven days ago. And we have had to move four times, take two bus rides, escape to one charming town, and settle into two different AirBnBs since that date. This schedule is on top of the previous days of travel we had to get between Cholula and Mexico City for the flight here. It has been a lot of movement and distraction, which has meant not a lot of book work. This has been very frustrating. About a week ago, we landed in a comfortable and safe AirBnB, where we will be for almost two months. Two months! That will be the longest we have stayed anywhere on this Mexican journey so far. We're looking forward to some stability, regular laundry, our big kitchen, and the lovely plunge pool that comes with our place. It feels like a luxury, and I feel so grateful about it.

So after so much running around and seeking better shelter, I just had to unwind and take a break last week. I had to give my mind and body a break from the fight or flight that was kicking in when we hadn't landed in a good place upon first arriving in Merida. My operational mind forced me to work on solutions to fix our situation and I neglected my well being. It felt like a lot of stress, and while we bounced back, it took a toll on me.

Luckily, my partner had the great idea for us to head to our favorite Mexican town for our first weekend in the Yucatan this time around. Valladolid. Valladolid, which is about a 2-hour drive from Merida, holds a lot of good memories for us. We first went to this charmer of a town back in 1994, by accident, when we ran out of gas in our rental VW bug on the way to Chichén Itzá from Cancun. It was our first travel experience together, having only been together at that point less than a year. We laugh now how clueless we were on the road then, and how lucky we were to be able to roll in on fumes and then get the help of a friendly local to push our car to the Valladolid gas station just in time. We've been back to this lovely place four times since then, and love it every time. It saved us back in '94, and saved us again this time around. We felt lost in other ways when we hopped off the bus a couple of Saturdays ago. But being in Valladolid helped elevate our mood, restored our enthusiasm, and allowed us to begin to relax again after a stressful time.

Lesson and reminder here is to allow yourself a break when you need it, without guilt or apology. Take those times to listen to what you need when you need it, and then do whatever you can to take care of yourself. I know this month is one for many to take vacations and breaks, and with that sometimes there is some sense of guilt that we should keep pushing on through pain and fatigue because things "aren't that bad" or someone else "has it worse." Sure, things can be worse, and many do have bigger challenges than you do. However, it's no reason to neglect yourself and your own feelings. You deserve peace, safety, and happiness just as much as anyone else. So pursue what brings you those positive feelings. It's the only way to then be ready to tackle the work to get to your dreams. Back to our book work now...

Until next week!

#mentoring #leadership

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crazylil-lion · 1 year

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I hate my scars because they cover my entire outer thighs and some on my inner thighs.

I can't wear girl shorts or even guy shorts that aren't to my knees, at least. Even then, it's only a few inches to the start of my scars.

It's a strange contradiction. I hate other people seeing them, so I take very good care of them. From lotion to cleaning to disinfecting.

But. I also like my scars and wish I would stop the self care to make them fade faster. Even tho like I got enough white raised scars that it doesn't matter.

The truth is its easy to validate physical pain and when you need a physical feeling it hits both issues.

Emotional pain its like: oh yeah I thought about getting kissed or heard a cute couple talking. Or had a flashback or intrusive thought Or just a random ass moodswing.

Now I feel like I'm having a heart attack, skin is on fire end its the most agonizing pain I can describe.

Like my sciatic nerve pain is agonizing but emotional pain hurts so so so much more.

Its hard to deal with emotions when they are at 100x intensity all the time no break.

And physical feeling helps. And having a pain you can justify even if its self-inflicted brings a type of comfort.

But the high is temporary and afterwards a day later or however long my mood decides to stabilize I'm back to how I was.

And need to sh again this leads to full blown addiction. Even if its not healthy when you are on fire you'd do anything to put it out right? If the pain is less than what you feel now wouldn't you rather cut off your arm then burn alive?

Thats what its like and why its so so so hard not to self harm because it relives a pain so intense its almost impossible to describe.

And that pain is my normal state of being.

Wonder if thats why people with bpd have an average life expectancy of 27.

Because most turn to hard drugs, unsafe sex, self-harm, or anything else that could temporarily relieve this agony.

I feel I'll fall into that statistic. That 1 of 9.

Because honestly I'm just not strong enough to take it anymore and I have 0 hope for the future.

So why suffer for years if I can have peace in a few months? An endless battle to survive each day, knowing the next is the same. Tell me, wouldn't you consider giving up as well?

So I see my scars as an awful thing and a victory.

This is a reminder of the daily fight against my agony to survive.

I just wish it wasn't all I had because I'd love to know the warmth of someones hand in mine. Or the feeling of being held and touched. Intimacy and romance are all I dream of yet its what I'll likely never have because I can't wait forever.

#mine

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