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cotccotc · 3 years

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♡ 3:24 am ; paranoid

set in the domus amoris universe !

genre/s: comfort, angst, fluff, established relationship/domestic au, hyunjin x gn reader

wc: ~1.6k

warnings: use of petnames (lovey, baby)

a/n: this is based on “paranoid” by lauv :))) it has a similar format to “forevermore” from this series but with a lot more elaboration !! it’s been a bit challenging to think of ways to write for him lately, but this is an idea i’ve had for a while now so... i tried </3 lol. i hope u enjoy it despite the sad bits oops :DDD

‘ smile when you're sleeping

wonder who you're dreaming of ’

he’s always loved watching you as you sleep. if able, he stays up until whenever it might be that you finally drift off. as your hands remain tightly wrapped around his body, your face aglow from the kaleidoscopical light streaming into the bedroom through the blinds, he watches and listens to you breathe. in, out. in, out. your chest inflates and diminishes with each deep, restful breath. your face rests in the palm of his hand. observing you intently, he notices as the corners of your lips begin to curl. a smile. endearing, entrancing… unnerving. he hopes you’re dreaming of something pleasant. something you might share with him come morning. he hopes you’re dreaming of him. he hopes, he prays.

but what if it isn’t? his heartbeat hastens.

‘ after all of these nights, laying right by your side

how could my brain make me feel so far? ’

maybe it’s selfish, he ponders, to be thinking this way. to assume the worst. to wonder if there’s someone you could be fantasizing about that isn’t him. it’s unfair. for all he knows, you could be dreaming of something unrelated entirely. he runs his thumb over your cheekbone, grazing the soft skin on your face with such adoration. such love. like he’s done so many times before. and yet, he believes that you deserve better. more. he always has. and he hates himself for it.

‘ maybe it's a case of paranoia

nervous that i'll never really know ya ’

he believes knows you inside and out; frontways and backways; from top to bottom and everything in between. that’s what you tell him, too. you tell it to him all the time. and he tells you the same. because it’s true. in some ways, you know him more than he knows himself. sometimes, when he’s unsure of who he is, all it takes is one look at you to bring his feet back onto the ground. and yet, in these mid-morning moments, he falls prey to doubt. maybe it’s him. that’s what he thinks. maybe it’s just the way his mind works. almost as if a self-inflicted disease is eating away at his subconscious, doubtful thoughts infiltrating his mind against his will. it’s a consuming feeling.

you let out a bit of a sigh. your eyes blink open, straining to focus on your lover’s face in front of you. he feels terrible for waking you. but you don’t know that.

“you’re awake,” you murmur, voice raspy and quiet.

“mhm,” he hums.

“why?”

he’s taken aback by the question. unsure of how to respond. you look so adorable to him. heavy-eyed and somnolent. “it’s nothing. go back to sleep,” he says. it’s not nothing. but he’s embarrassed. why is he embarrassed? it’s you. he shouldn’t be embarrassed. and yet, he is.

“are you sure?” you ask, letting out an involuntary yawn. he’s so enamored by you. you don’t even realize it, because how could you? he looks toward you so fondly. with such endearment. he wants to tell you everything that’s on his mind. but he just can’t.

“i’m sure,” he reassures you. he places his hand upon your cheek, holding your face in his hand as if that’s what it was made to do. it always seems to fit so perfectly. he flashes a meek, forced half-smile at you. you know he’s lying.

instead of refuting his response, you decide not to push. you know he has moments of self-doubt and what he would consider weakness. and you know it’s not his fault. more so than anything, you know that you love him. so, you sit up, elbow propped up against the mattress. you turn on the lamp sitting upon your bedside table, illuminating the room with a dim, creamy tint. you rest your hand upon your lover’s chest and lean into him. he brings his hands to cup your face, pulling you closer. you kiss each other tenderly. his lips waltz across yours, just as they always do; smooth, sultry, with a twinge of honey-like sweetness. you love to kiss his bottom lip, gently tugging at it with your own. and you know he loves it too. especially as it prompts him to thread his fingers through your hair, passionately pulling you even closer to him and kissing you even deeper. you sink into his touch. this isn’t lust. it’s familiarity. it’s healing. it’s the only thing that speaks louder than words. it’s love.

he takes a small, shaky breath, breaking away from you. a single tear droplet emerges from the corner of his eye as he looks up at you.

his lip quivers. your heart breaks.

“i love you,” you whisper, swiping the tear off of his cheek. you lay back down beside him, head resting on his shoulder as you caress his face with the tips of your fingers. you place a soft kiss against his cheek, wanting nothing more than to be impossibly close to him; absorbing his emotions and freeing him from whatever might be troubling him.

“i know that…” he trails off, unable to connect his eyes with yours. “but…” he screws them shut, raising his palm to cover them as his lips contort themselves.

he’s crying.

“i know that,” he repeats. but this time, he sounds angry. angry with himself. he knows that you love him. and he’s ashamed that his brain could ever make him think otherwise.

you don’t know what else to do other than hold him, wrapping your arms around his form. “baby,” you mutter, almost inaudibly. a tear of your own taunts your waterline. you hate seeing him like this. especially when seemingly unprovoked. you know he’s been listening to the voices in the back of his mind again. it’s plain to see.

“i just-” he starts, cut off by his own convulsions. in between sobs and shallow breaths, he stammers, “i… i don’t…” when he realizes he’s unable to release a full sentence, his face turning a harsh shade of red and his eyes wired shut, he reaches out to wrap his arms around your waist and pulls himself closer to you. he places his head against your chest. “i don’t know…”

you stay like this for a few minutes. he shudders against you, choked sobs escaping the lips from which he’s always complimented you, called for you, kissed you… it’s painful to listen to. and even more disheartening to see. as he settles down, you continue to stroke his hair, running your fingertips along his scalp to soothe him. he learns to breathe with you. with every inhale, he mimics the feeling. in, out. in, out. though shaky still, his sobs turn to sniffles and his convulsions fade into calm.

eventually, he looks up at you. his eyes are puffy, similarly to the state in which he wakes, though they remain slightly pink-tinted and dampened from the strain of his tears. “i love you, too,” he mumbles. “and i’m sorry.”

“sorry?” you repeat, confused. “lovey...” you tuck a few strands of pitch-dark hair behind his ear. the skin is still red from emotion and embarrassment. “you have nothing to be sorry about.”

he looks away, shifting around to get even more comfortable against you. his arms are still wrapped around your figure, fingers gently toying with the fabric of your shirt as a means of distraction. after a pause, he continues. “i’m sorry that i get so scared.” he sniffles, drained from weeping so intensely. he sounds stuffy. it would almost be endearing if he wasn’t so distraught.

‘ but baby, i love you

and baby, i’d love to

not be… ’

“it’s not your fault,” you assure him. you know how he feels. with each new day waking up beside him, you’re met with a sense of unworthiness. he’s just so lovely. and he makes you feel like nobody’s ever made you feel before. knowing him and loving him are truly your greatest pleasures in life. sometimes, you even feel selfish for keeping him so close to your heart. it’s as if you hold onto his hands as tightly as you do to prevent him from letting go. as if your grip on his waist whenever he hovers atop your frame is not just an expression of want, but of need. as if at a moment’s notice, he could find someone better than you; someone more deserving of his loving gaze, his angelic laugh, the honor of lulling him to sleep with kisses and reciprocative sentiments of endearment… someone more deserving of the opportunity to love him. still, he feels the same way about you. and you can never quite comprehend the reason why.

“i know. but i wish it would just go away.” he pauses, still fiddling with your top.

“i do too,” you mutter.

he then sits up, readjusting to lay his head down beside your neck. his hand settles upon your stomach, thumb lightly rubbing your skin through the thin layer of cotton. his lips brush against your neck, barely touching it at all. so delightful. your fingers remain entwined in his lustrous tresses. “promise...” he begins, whispering into your skin before finally pressing his lips against you. his voice ripples through your mind like a wave. he speaks with such purity. such sincerity. such need. “you’ll stay with me.” he breaks away, looking straight into your eyes. you look right back into his.

“i promise.”

“...forever?” he adds, stifling a smile. he has to be sure.

you tease him. “will you stay with me forever?”

he snaps out of his almost-contentedness, a serious expression taking shape upon his winsome face once more. “i promise,” he confirms. “i promise, baby. i will.”

“then i will, too.” you smile, gently pecking his lips with yours. as his eyes flutter open once again, blinking intently, he smiles. a wide-eyed, rosy-cheeked, ever-precious smile. the smile for which your heart beats. the smile that only you can evoke, reserved simply for moments such as these. maybe you do deserve it after all. and maybe, he thinks, he deserves the evocation.

‘ ...paranoid. ’

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @changnuggie, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @moonlit-lixie, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @siedhr ( join my tag list !! )

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blonkk · 2 years

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i wish i wasn’t myself i mean after every single interaction or word that comes out of my mouth i want to rip my skin off. i fucking hate being a specimen like being treated like an experiment oh you’re depressed go on zoloft. oh it stopped working go on trazadone. oh that makes you black out for 15 hours in a row so that will cure your chronic insomnia but here go on cypralex. oh you have menstrual irregularities go on birth control. oh you’re sexually active have a pap smear (maybe this one’s different but idk i hate being probed and treated like a lab rat). one doctor literally said to me he thought it’s time i get a boyfriend (i think i was 21 or 22 at the time). yeah it’s low iron take these supplements. oh the insomnia is still there do a sleep study. six months from now. in another six months i’m told “there’s nothing wrong you you just have reverse sleep syndrome, best you can do is just try to find a night job and live the rest of your life like a fucking owl.” you’re 16 and you have PCOS. you’re 26 and wait now scratch that it wasn’t PCOS at all! silly us. we don’t know what it is tho our bad. yes you definitely qualify for a psychiatrist. just to be told after years of being on a waiting list and screened for months at the very first meeting with said medical professional that i “don’t really need this and there’s no point in continuing.” ok ok things are starting to make sense you’ve got adhd. try 10 now 20 now 50 mg of vyvanse and good news it will reduce your appetite so you’ll lose weight 2 birds in 1 stone right? (my doctor actually said this to me). hmmm things keep coming up, there’s a possibility of mild OCD and probable autism. autism. you are showing telltale signs of autism

i cannot take it anymore i don’t want to be a lifelong patient fr i’m gonna be coke a hypochondriac. the scariest thing is that i think the autism thing might be real the more i think ab how i feel in social settings and how i hate talking to people and never feel like i belong and things i say get misinterpreted and i can’t read social cues….i want to be fucking normal but the more that i get dismissed or randomly diagnosed and prescribed different random shit the more hopeless i feel like whyyyy can’t i just be normal. i was at a relatives place tonight and more people than i thought were there and i had to talk to people i don’t know and when i wasn’t stretching myself thin by making polite tedious conversation and wanting to kill myself after every word i said because i never seem to be able to read the room right i was trying not to cry because there were too many people and i was completely overwhelmed. literally i hate it so much but i’m gonna be 27…. what does it even matter anymore? i’ve made it this far being fucking sick all the time and socially fucking vacant and not fitting in anywhere with anyone so i can pretty much just keep doing it. i just wish he gave me one fucking thing lol he had to make me fat annoying permanent insomniac mentally ill and apparently “neurodivergent” and weird like bro just one fucking win would be nice. like i’m too anxious to even be dependent on substances like i’m so sorry if this is fucked up but i wish could use drugs and drinking to cope but i can’t because my brain doesn’t let me relax for five fucking seconds so smoking weed makes me paranoid as hell and i literally have some sort of blockage in my brain that prevents me from getting drunk. plus i’m too anxious to ever fully lose control it’s way too terrifying for me.

basically i’m wound up tighter than a spring and self medicating is out so i just cope by coping which is getting kinda fucking hard. what happens when i lose my student coverage, how the fuck am i gonna afford my drugs?? i’m already way over my therapy coverage and see her biweekly and now only monthly. i live my life in a constant state of exhaustion and interrupted functioning as a result of not sleeping, anxiety and apparently being fucking adhd plus whatever the fuck else. i’m too tired to keep finding new ways to manage like i can’t manage anymore. i wonder if there’s really nothing wrong or if over the past 11 years no doctor has really ever been able to do their fucking job. and tell me what the fuck is wrong with me. i don’t want to be anything i don’t want to be medicated or sedated i want to be normal and go to sleep when i’m tired and smile when i’m happy and cry when i’m sad and eat when i’m hungry and speak when i have something to say. i don’t understand bro why couldn’t i have just one fucking thing!!!!!

#sorry #i’m tired #i don’t like being diagnosed but never like #actually fixed #i hate being labeled #i hate being dismissed #i don’t want any sympathy #i want a fucking brain scan #i want someone to rewire my shit #i don’t want more #medication #if i have down bad bitch disease just tell me #if i’m just a weird little freak tell me #why can’t anyone figure it out #prescribe me something useful like a paid sabbatical to the welsh seaside #i’m gonna join a cult just to feel something i stg

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moccahobi · 3 years

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The Slope Bunny [Taehyung x Reader]

Summary: You’re staying at a ski resort and meet an interesting slope bunny.

genre: slope bunny au, skier au, fluff

wc: 2.3k

warnings: none

ratings: E for everyone

a/n: this is my @castlebangtan secret santa gift for @tatastaetae! I hope you like my trash lolol. But fr. I hope you have such a happy hannuka and a great December/January. I love you and appreciate you so much and am so glad to be in a net with you.

a/n2: I posted this yesterday but it isn’t showing up in tags! Here is hoping a repost will help it show up!

Crisp air whipped passed you as you zoomed down yet another slope, eyes slowly taking in your surroundings. Excitement and freedom swam in your veins as you quickly maneuvered around moguls, your poles helping to make the process 1000x easier. Occasionally you even tried your hand at jumping over moguls (mostly if you didn't have enough time to maneuver around them). Despite the below freezing temperatures, there was a thin layer of sweat covering you and soaking into your clothes. Not that it mattered. There was rarely a moment when you weren't warm while skiing.

At a small rest in the slope, you stopped and looked around as you caught your breath. You only had two hundred to three hundred more meters left in the run. All around you were frosty trees and zooming skiers and boarders, some of whom were even weaving in between the trees on small paths made from constant use. It was a magical place and a magical time when many people had retreated to eat lunch.

With a happy smile (hidden behind a neck scarf) and a shiver of excitement, you were off again, determined to make the last stretch be amazing. All too soon, you saw the end of the slope coming closer and closer, a small line already forming in front of the chair lift.

Swiftly, you slid into the singles line, passing at least two four person groups. It only took a minute before you, a pair, and another single were grouped together and made it on to a chair lift, your poles tightly held in your hands and your feet dangling in the air.

You were on number 75.

"So... are you all enjoying the slopes today?" A snowboarder asked, their voice muffled by the balaklava they were wearing.

"Oh totally! This is our first time coming here." One of the people in the pair said excitedly as they looked around, "And the weather is absolutely perfect for skiing and boarding."

"For sure. This is the fourth time I've come to this resort. My favorite slope of all is the Flume. It's on the other side of the mountain." The boarder said, one of the people in the pair nodding excitedly.

"Oh! We were on the Flume this morning! It was fun! Do you have any recommendations?"

"Hmmm... I really enjoy the slopes on the western side of the mountain. It's best to go in the morning though. The slopes get ugly in the afternoon."

"Oh! Thank you!"

After that the chair lift was quiet. You were fine with that, instead spending the ride watching skiers and boarders zoom down the slopes below, many of whom were reenergized after their lunch break. At the thought of lunch, you felt your stomach growl. Despite you always making the choice to stay out until the lunch rush starts to break, it always shocks you just how hungry you get when it is time to go in.

Soon enough, you were preparing to get off the lift, adjusting your position on the seat and making sure your skis and poles were in the right position. You left the lift without saying goodbye to those you rode it with, knowing that you'd likely never see them again (or recognize them if you did meet them again), and started to skate your way towards the end of the snow.

Even as you made your way back to the hotel room you shared with your friend, Lillia, and hung up your wet snow clothes in front of a small fire, your mind was on the slopes, running through your next plan. Would you want to start with some scenic greens or go straight into blacks?

Would you even want to go back out after lunch? Or would you want to stay in and then go out for night skiing later when it got darker?

There were so many options and you felt somewhat torn with what to do.

Eventually you stopped running through the possibilities when you finished making a large pot of mac and cheese (one of your go-to meals when on a ski trip). You didn't even bother putting it into a bowl, simply taking the pot and a hot plate and situating yourself in front of the television to watch some random show while you ate.

Soreness from a fall you took earlier that day started to settle on you by the time you finished the pot of mac and cheese and a bottle of gatorade, Lillia coming in to nap at one point. Falls weren't uncommon. Especially as you tried to make jumps and took random paths in the woods so you were a little surprised to feel the soreness from a particularly bad fall earlier.

You hummed in thought as you started to clean up some of your dishes. The hotel you were staying in had a hot tub. Maybe instead of going out for more skiing while it's still bright out, you can relax in the hot tub, warm your body up and soothe the soreness you were feeling. Plus, it would likely be empty at this time since everyone would be out on the slopes.

Quickly writing a letter to Lillia who was still dead asleep and would likely cuss you out before falling asleep (only to not remember) if you tried to wake her up to tell, you changed and went off to the hot tub, excitement running through your veins as you did.

You quickly walked to the "spa" room (which was just a room with some lockers, a treadmill, and a bathroom that had a door to the hot tub). When you got there though, you felt a bit of disappointment. Someone else was in the hot tub. Someone else was in the hot tub. Some good looking korean dude was just chilling in the hot tub, his eyes slowly looking around and his mind somewhere else as he relaxed.

All too soon, his eyes landed on you, a small smile growing on his face as he waved you over. It felt strange to walk over to him and get into the hot tub, your mind questioning why he was being so friendly and also stuttering over how good the man looked up close. You blushed self consciously as you slowly got into the water, the man’s eyes moving to look elsewhere as he thought.

“So… are you a fellow slope bunny?” The man asked after a minute or so of silence, his voice surprisingly deep and smooth.

You laughed awkwardly and smiled, “No. I ski. Who did you come here with? A significant other?”

“No. I am here with my friends. They all board or ski and I don’t. I wanted to come though because we rarely see each other normally.”

You nodded slowly, “I get that. My friend and I are here but we are such different skiers that we don’t often ski together. So we really only are getting together again after we are both done for the day.”

After a little bit of silence, the two of you found a solid rhythm full of conversation fragments and having time to think on your own. It was nice and in the conversation fragments that you did have, you found yourself hanging onto every word that the man said. Before you realized, the sun had set and you needed to get back to your hotel room.

You sighed and entered the one resort's restaurants. It was a simple grill and all you wanted after a whole day of skiing was a little food and a warm drink before retiring for the night and sleeping for twelve hours. Your friend had gone to the hotel room an hour before you so once again, you were all alone. You sat down at the bar, next to a familiar looking stranger who was quietly sipping on some hot coco as someone next to her talked excitedly. Quickly you looked over at them before realizing, it was your friend. She was in a large yellow sweater, her makeup done wildly and her hair unkempt from being in a helmet all day.

"Lillia! Crazy seeing you here!"

She laughed and smiled with a nod, "I got a little stir crazy in the hotel room so here I am!" She looked over at the person next to her, "Taehyung and I were just talking about animals!"

"Hello!" Taehyung said in a deep voice.

Wait.

You recognized him! He was the dude in the hot tub!

"Oh! Hello again! I am Y/n! How do you two know each other?"

"We don't." Lillia laughed, "Taehyung complimented my makeup and then we just started talking."

"Yeah! What's your favorite animal? Wait! Let me guess... hmmm," Taehyung's face twisted as he thought and you laughed quietly, ordering a hot green tea from the person behind the bar.

"I know what this is, Taehyung. So I'm not going to help you." Lillia laughed and leaned back in her high chair, happily looking between you and Taehyung who was now pouting.

"Well that's good! I don't want to cheat with this! I get the feeling that... hmm... your favorite animal is a Gopher."

You laughed loudly at that and shook your head, "Pig. Has been most of my life. Why did you think gopher?"

Taehyung blushed, "You're cute like a gopher."

Lillia snorted and hid a laugh with a sip of her hot coco as she looked at you (who was blushing like crazy). At that time, your green tea came and you quickly took a sip, wincing as the hot liquid burned your tongue.

"You are cute." Lillia sang and winked your way, downing the rest of her hot coco and signaling for a check.

You blushed more, somewhat tired of your friend's flirty nature.

"Very."

Gosh! At this point, you were as red as a tomato!

You coughed, "I don't know about that. Taehyung... what is your favorite animal?"

"A squirrel! I just love how cute they are! And have you ever tried to chase them? They are so fun to chase... or watch really! I have this bird feeder that prevents squirrels from eating the seed and I love watching them try tirelessly to eat the seed! Even when I have a soot block for them to eat from as well." Taehyung laughed happily, his eyes glowing as he started to gush about the bird feeders in front of his apartment window.

The conversation lasted for a long while, the topics occasionally changing but the energy and amiableness never changing. Even when Lillia left and you went onto your third cup of tea (along with an appetizer to eat) and Taehyung started to drink his fourth cup of hot cocoa. You'd had this fun with few strangers before and by the time the bar was calling last call and you'd had five cups of tea and Taehyung six cups of hot cocoa, you were leaving the bar with a blushing face and Taehyung's hand held tightly in yours. From a mixture of the cold and poor flirting, the two of your faces were bright read but you were more excited than ever.

In the stairwell on the platform that opened up to your floor (which apparently was below his) the two of you were standing like two excited idiots, neither wanting to leave first.

"I really enjoyed talking with you today..." You started, looking down at your entwined hands, your face heating up more.

"Yeah."

"Can I have your number?"

Taehyung giggled excitedly and nodded and gave you his phone. Even after you texted yourself through his phone, you didn't leave. You simply looked up at Taehyung and his handsome face, a giddy excitement filling you as you did so.

"Yeah!" Lillia's voice cut through the giddy trance both Taehyung and you were in as she excitedly broke into the stairwell, "I've been waiting for three hours, Y/n! We need to talk!"

Taehyung quickly glanced at Lillia before looking back at you, "Well..."

"Well..."

"I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah."

"Omg. You are both such love sick babies!" Lillia cried, roughly grabbing your arm and pulling you along to your hotel room.

"So... what happened, Y/n?"

"Omg. I am not doing this with you." You groaned and fell face first on the couch, hiding your face in the cushions to hide from Lillia's barrage of excited questions.

After Lillia became too exhausted to continue asking questions and retired to her bed for the night, you found yourself texting Taehyung. Hushed giggles and large paragraphs of texts filled your night and it all surmounted when Taehyung asked you out for breakfast in his hotel room the next morning. It wasn't hard to say yes, even with the knowledge that Lillia was going to make fun of you skipping first tracks tomorrow for breakfast with a guy you just met a few days ago.

Sure enough, after Lillia squealed and jumped around excitedly about your date, she started teasing you to no end. Her eyes excited as she threw joke after joke. She missed first tracks herself to help you prepare and before you knew it, she was rushing you out of the hotel room to go meet Taehyung in the stairway.

"Hi." You said quietly when you saw him, too struck by how handsome he looked in that moment to say more.

"Hello."

#castlebangtan #wkcnet #btscreatorscorner #bts #bts fanfic #bts oneshot #bts one shot #bts fluff #bts skier au #bts slope bunny au #bts taehyung #taehyung x reader #bts v x reader #bts x reader #taehyung fluff #thebtswritersclub #btsguild #magicshopnet

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tutubola-moved-on · 3 years

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Hi I like music and I kind of go wayyy too deep into the TPN soundtrack and I think it's about time I start throwing my thoughts out there before they spiral too much

Disclaimer!!! This is not a complete analysis at all, just a few thoughts on each of the songs. I'll probably revisit some of them in future parts if I ever do those aha anyways enjoy

(Part 1/?): 63194, Emma's Sorrow, Emma's Determination, 22194, Norman's Lament, The Promise Between Humans and Demons, Jailbreak and Isabella's Lullaby.

(manga spoilers)

I've done a lil smth smth on Main Theme 2 already and its my favourite song like ever aha this is a cry for help

here you go people

but now anyways fr

63194 (Season 1)

Wouldn't have started with this one cuz I'm still figuring it out but it was the first one that came up when I pressed shuffle

Let's just go straight to the point so we can move on. The first time we hear 63194 is in episode 2, when Norman is talking to Ray about their plan in the forest (or, as I like to call it, "boat scene"). It reaches its climax when Norman starts talking about how he'll use himself to ensure the escape plan will work.

And then it's only used again in episode 8, if I'm not mistaken, after Isabella tells them about Norman's shipment, thus foreshadowing him refusing to escape and using his "death" as a tool to help the others escape.

But alsooo the song is Emma's theme, so there's definitely some sort of meaning other than foreshadowing Norman's shipment. That's for later though cuz I'll have to think more. The beginning does sound a lot like Strauss' Metamorphosen, a piece symbolising how German culture was destroyed during WW2. Not sure what to do with that info for now.

If you'd like a little extra stuff, I also tried connecting the pieces to the Doctrine of Affections, a... thing some Baroque composers wrote that connected music keys to feelings. (I found many sources but I used this one).

63194 is in C Minor, which is described as "innocently sad" (although another source said "sweet but sad") and "lovesick." I think innocence really describes Emma, Ray, and Norman in general, as kids who never did anything wrong but were thrown into the wrong world. Innocently sad would be their conversations in boat scene. They're talking about life or death, it's not something kids should have to deal with.

But again, it's hopeful. Norman wants to create a boat made out of mud---he wants to save everyone---and he really believes it'll work. So although sad, it's also sweet. It's a light at the end of the tunnel, and also just an act of kindness. As for "lovesick," that would just describe Ray and Emma's inevitable longing for Norman after he was gone. Which brings us to...

Emma's Sorrow (エマの悲しみ) (Season 1)

The two times I remember Emma's Sorrow played was 1) When they first talked to Don and Gilda about the house and 2) During the infirmary flashback scene.

The Doctrine of Affections describes E Minor as "grief and longing." In the infirmary flashback scene that obviously not only shows how Norman longs for that time when they didn't know anything and everything was light and happy but also, once again, foreshadows Emma eventually having to grieve him.

Especially because they don't play the staccato part (short quick notes) that's in the original version. Instead, the strings are always present. In staccato, the music gets pretty,,, lowkey? because the instruments can't exactly "show off," whereas the legato (long/connected notes) really shows the true importance and impact each individual instrument has on the song. Considering how the strings (specifically the violins) in the soundtrack could symbolise Norman, it's showing how Norman is not just another guy who's in their group and planning the escape, but an actual friend they'll lose and who'll leave a significant emptiness behind. Not only brain power wise, but just.. you know he's a human being and it's gonna hurt either way.

Not only that, but the harmonies itself in Emma's Sorrow once the strings really do come in are really incomplete. Like, the piano part seems to be all over the place, but it comes together because of the strings. Norman was the one who brought Emma and Ray together, in a way, and isn't Emma and Ray clashing exactly what Shirai wanted when he sent Norman away? Yea...

And Emma's Sorrow is, of course, parallel to:

Emma's Determination (エマの決定) (Season 1)

Yea no I'm still gathering thoughts on that one. The ascending bass contrasting the descending bass in Emma's Sorrow is pretty cool, though. It plays when Don is going off about how he wants to be strong after punching Ray and Norman and it's in F# Minor, so "passionate resentment." Connect both and Don really is ready to change the world. He got slapped with this very very bad reality and naturally he's angry and he's sad and he wants to do anything in his power to save people.

But back to Norman.

(hi future me here. oh my god why am i only talking about norman this was not the route this was originally going to take im so sorry i swear there's more to this post than just norman brain rot 22194 is the last norman one)

22194 (Season 1) and Norman's Lament (ノーマンの嘆き) (Season 2)

22194 is in B Minor, so "patience" and "walking towards fate." That's pretty self explanatory considering how he, and I quote, "chose death." Yea. G Minor would be "uneasiness of the future," and once again, pretty self explanatory (The whole Lambda seizures thing and I'm The Only One Who Can Save The Humans Syndrome. Normy worries too much :/)

Comparing both is pretty fun, too. It's the same melody but in different keys and instruments and thus just give off different feelings. While 22194 is full of instruments and harmonies and is clearly structured, Norman's Lament is just. Empty. It's like it's trying to stay true to 22194, so the Norman from before, but at the end of every musical sentence it just drifts off. You can see parts of 22194 in there, but it's not the same. At all.

There's also no harmony. He wants to do everything himself, and discards all his bonds and friends for that. So sad. Stop him.

All that while 22194 is rich and beautiful and oh my god i love that song so much and it's just showing how Norman was a lot more lively and layered and human when he allowed people to come into his life (the harmonies) and listened to those people instead of just locking himself up and doing everything himself.

So in conclusion cuz I ramble a lot, 22194 is about GF Norman, who hadn't gone through all those things that turned him "evil," who trusted his friends and believed everything had a good, ethic solution. Norman's Lament is about Lambda/post-Lambda Norman, who had gone through a whole lot, and was now in a downwards spiral and had left everything behind to become God or whatever, but was also in denial that he had changed in the first place.

does this make sense no idea i'm typing this while sleep deprived and high on bread and i failed english this quarter

but that aside

The Promise Between Humans and Demons (人間と鬼の約束)(Season 2)

I love this song!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!! I love the percussion, it's used so well. And I love the way the song builds up and adds more and more instruments until it eventually reaches a climax, like the growing tension between the humans and the demons during the war that snowballed and snowballed and eventually caused both sides to resort to the Promise.

And when the song comes down you can hear a very short "first draft" ish version of Isabella's Lullaby.

It's as if yes, all this mess went down and the demons and humans made this huge promise that completely changed the world and affected an entire society but then far far away from the Seven Walls and the Promise and oblivious of the Ratri Clan and the demons were these two tiny tiny children just singing a song and living happily. And those children---and that song---were the foundation for the entire revolution that ended with the Promise. Wow.

And it's in D Major, D Major is "Triumphant." The song itself sounds triumphant, and yes the Promise was gross but it was a nice little hello kitty band aid over the mess that was the world before it.

What was truly triumphant, though, was the kids' escape, which happened to the same melodic theme, albeit in a different key. Which leads me to...

Prison Break (脱獄) (Season 1)

Oh my God. I love this song.

It symbolises the kids breaking ties with Isabella and how many obstacles were in the way (not only was she their mom; their only mom who had cared for them for their entire lives, but she was also their enemy and did everything she could to prevent them from escaping). The second the brass comes in with the theme (around 0:53) it sounds like it's struggling to play it fully. In this case, Isabella, once the singing parts, would have lost her voice after being outwitted by the children (keep in mind the song starts playing after they've already reached the wall). After all, the song starts with a voice that seems to get more and more desperate before it's overrun by instruments, thus losing its power.

So she's trying to control them and get them back, but they won't let her. They're going to break free. So you have the melodic theme playing with significant breaks, until eventually it all goes silent. Why? Because they escaped. Isabella completely lost contact with them, they're free. And then you get the same melodic theme in The Promise Between Humans and Demons.

But the theme isn't played full. It's not played to the extent that they play it in TPBDAH, instead there's a lot of just "blank space" with no melody above it: that's where the children will write their melody---their story; a story independent from the Promise that shaped their lives thus far.

AGH.

I need a break but I'll be back

Isabella's Lullaby (イサベラの唄)

OK OK Continuing on Isabella I love how Sarah Alainn sings like she's crying. I really recommend this if you want to go deep on Isabella's Lullaby, they pretty much said everything I had to say. I don't go on youtube like ever and that might as well be one of my favourite videos LOL anyways

I also really recommend listening to the no vocal/piano solo version, the harmonies are so beautiful. And the more you listen to it the more you hear, there's always something new. The violins especially oh I love the way Takahiro Obata uses violins. Honourable mention to Nat King Ballade (ナットキングバラード) and Each Thought (それぞれの想い) (idk if thats the english name for it,,,, i've seen it as "Their Own Thoughts" too)

WELL THEN. What a ride. I'll go to sleep now. If anything is incoherent or u just wanna talk then send me askies or a dm smth idk aha i like music but i hate grammar :P

#adding this to the queue cuz posting it rn would be so weird #tpn manga spoilers #thoughts #long post #tpn music #63194 #emma's sorrow #emma's determination #isabella's lullaby #prison break #tpbhad #norman's lament

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color-me-malfoy · 4 years

Text

The Train To Apparent Death

(don’t worry, no one actually dies)

Draco Malfoy x Non-Slytherin Reader

Summary: You’re lucky enough to get a ride with Draco Malfoy on the Hogwarts Express, but madness lies along the way.

Platform 9¾ was still Platform 9¾.

Just like every other day at the Hogwarts Express, first-years still bidding goodbye to their parents, much older students rushing in to sit with their friends, lots of mothers and fathers asking if they brought their wands, their books, their robes, their everything.

The difference was, there were more words of warning.

“Dear, always stick with someone, Sirius Black is on the loose!”

“Don’t go wandering in the middle of the night or Sirius Black will bite your fingers off!”

“Oh, golly, I’m having second thoughts about it now that Sirius Black could be anywhere!”

You subtly covered your ears as you walked past the crowd of sobbing and waving parents and stepped onboard.

You looked in the windows of each compartment, looking for one that wasn’t too crowded. The first had a bunch of first-years, trying to show off their magic abilities, which were none, thanks for asking. The second had a girl your age reading an upside-down book, talking and singing to herself, which you absolutely did not need.

The third cart had just one sleeping man, his face covered with a newspaper, laying sideways, occupying the entire seat. No thanks, I’ll pass, you scrunched your nose in disgust.

The fourth one was empty, except for a boy on the corner, his face covered by the cover of The Daily Prophet he was reading. You opened the door and walked halfway in with your trunk.

“Could I sit here with you? Everywhere else is full, so-”

Your words got lost in your throat as the boy put the paper down and stared back at you with intimidating grey eyes.

It was Draco Malfoy.

“-or, I could just find someplace else.” Your voice cracked as you spun around to leave. “Have a nice d-”

“No, I suppose I could tolerate just one person for the train ride. Consider yourself lucky. Get in and shut the door.”

Did Draco Malfoy just let you sit with him? For an entire bloody train ride?

“I-” your face heated up. “W-Well… thanks then.”

You slid your trunk under your seat and sat down across him as he turned his attention back to his newspaper.

“Anything from the trolley, dears?” A high-pitched voice made you look up. It was the trolley witch with the sweets trolley, which was your favorite part of the train ride.

“I’ll have two bars of chocolate and a sherbet lemon, thanks.” You paid for the sweets as she handed them to you.

“Do you want anything?” you asked Draco, but he only responded by rolling his eyes and blocking your view of his face with the paper.

“You know what? I’ll take a chocolate frog too.” You paid for it and thanked her, and after you closed the door, you slid the chocolate frog next to him.

What you didn’t know was that he pulled the newspaper over his face because he could hardly stop from smiling.

You looked up at the headline of his paper and yelped in surprise as you came face-to-face with the screaming image of Sirius Black.

“Mother of Merlin!” you cried.

Draco put his newspaper down with no trace of the grin, in its place an annoyed grimace.

“What?” he asked blatantly.

“Sorry, it’s just- I…” you looked away and pointed at the paper. “…Sirius Black.”

“Oh,” he folded the newspaper and went back to reading, the headline page covered by the other pages.

“Thanks,” you opened your bag and took out your copy of Newt Scamander’s Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them.

A few hours passed, and neither of you said a word to another, until he put his paper down and looked at the time, and you were able to stay calm as the image of Sirius Black came into view once more.

“Do you think Sirius Black could get into Hogwarts?” you asked just above a whisper.

He stared out the window, and you were just about to drop the conversation until he spoke softly.

“My father said the Ministry’s in charge of preventing that,” he said, without glancing at you.

“But isn’t the Ministry the people who run Azkaban?” you asked again. “I mean, if Black’s escaped them once, he can sneak right under their noses again too.”

“Are you scared, L/N?” he smirked, still not looking at you.

“Yes, of course, he’s killed people, so it’s natural to fear for my life,” you pulled your sleeves over your hands, “I’d rather be scared than apathetic.”

“A pathetic what?” he joked, and you failed to hide your laugh. But you shut your mouth as his face suddenly grew serious.

“Father said the Ministry’s setting up tighter security throughout the school perimeter,” he sat straighter. “He says even Dumbledore hesitated for a while. So, there’s nothing to worry about, is there?”

“I suppose not,” you mumbled.

There was a few more moments of silence until the train rumbled, slowed down, and shook to a stop.

Draco stood up and grabbed his luggage. “Oh, great! I can finally get off this bloody-”

His words turned into a shout of terror as all the lights went off.

“Merlin, what is going on! Wait till my father-”

“Malfoy-”

“-hears about this! By Salazar’s beard, he’ll probably have me study somewhere else than this pathetic-”

“Malfoy, y-”

“-pig sty! He’ll probably have Dumbledore removed fr-”

“Draco, please stay quiet, you’re making it worse,” you pleaded.

He snapped around as he heard the slight tremor in your voice.

“What is it?” He asked, trying to keep the concern from showing in his words.

“No, no,” you replied. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Stay put. I’ll get you some water.” He cursed himself as he stood back up. Why was he doing all this for you?

You heard the compartment door slide open and pulled your knees to your chest. After a while, he came back with a glass of water. He took something out of his bag, and light filled the room as he whispered, “Lumos.”

You took the water and took a light sip, but stared at the water with confusion.

Your breath was visible, and the water in your cup formed cold mist.

You turned to the compartment door, and on its window ice formed, spreading like a web until it filled the entire door and even enveloped the knob.

“Draco?” Your voice shook as you moved crawled further away from the door.

“Wha-” he stopped in his steps as he saw the ice forming on the door.

The two of you stared at the frozen door in silence until he snorted.

“It’s probably just some snow, I’ll wipe it off.” He said, but even he could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“Draco, no-”

He didn’t listen to you as he walked over, pushing the door open as some shards of ice fell to the floor, turning into puddles of water.

“Malfoy, would you stop?”

You pushed him away from the door, slamming it. But your eyes widened and all breath left you as you took in the figure standing very still right outside the door. It was a creature covered in grey, shredded material, and the only thing separating you and this monstrosity was a single pane of glass.

It gave out heavy breaths, and fog appeared on the window. You didn’t realize the tears trickling down your face until they turned cold on your cheeks. You wanted to move backward but you couldn’t; your feet were planted on the ground, telling you if you moved it might not be so patient with killing you.

It gave out one last exhale, the grey cloth fluttering dangerously as the entire door filled with fog. When the fog receded, the creature was no longer there. But you still didn’t budge.

“Bloody hell,” you heard Draco’s voice behind you, but you didn’t turn around.

“So that’s what a dementor is? Merlin, that thing was ghastly! If this doesn’t keep Sirius Black out of the school I don’t know what will- Y/N? Y/N, it’s gone. Y/N, don’t stand there like a-”

“What the hell was that?” You croaked, your voice harsh.

“Y/N, it’s gone,” he chuckled. “there’s absolutely nothing to worry about!”

You felt someone grab your arm, and you tried to pull away, but you were face-to-face with Draco.

“Merlin, you’re cold as ice. And you’ve gone white! Y/N, what’s wrong-” He stared at your tear-stained face for a second, then his expression changed.

“Oh, no,” he brushed his finger across your face. “Hey, Y/N, sit down.”

You didn’t move, but squinted hard to clear your vision. He sighed, then you felt one arm rubbing your back and lightly pushing you down onto the seat. He took your hands in his, blew a little on them, then massaged your palms with his thumbs. You felt yourself slowly come back to your senses, and steadied your breathing as he looked on.

As the two of your locked gazes again, he took you in his arms, rubbing circles into your back.

“Wha… What was that, Draco?” you asked.

“That was a dementor, it’s the kind of creature that guards Azkaban. Those are the things that the Ministry sent to Hogwarts to keep watch at the gates.” He frowned, then turned to the door as a knock startled you.

Draco groaned, then stood up and strutted over to the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Professor Remus Lupin, your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.”

You looked up and realized it was the man you had seen in one of the compartments.

“Oh, well, what is it?”

“I’m just here to warn you about the dementors. They won’t harm you unless you’re Sirius Black.”

“Oh, thanks a bunch, professor,” Draco rolled his eyes, “Thanks for telling us they’re harmless after a student went into a panic attack because of them.”

“Oh, dear, is she alright?” Professor Lupin looked past Draco and at you.

“I’m fine professor, just a little cold,” you said.

“Oh, and she’s cold, professor, aside from the fact she went ghost-pale and couldn’t move, professor,” he added sarcastically.

You were about to tell him it was fine, when you felt him drape something around your shoulders. It was his robe. You snuggled deeper into it and looked back up at Professor Lupin.

“But anyways, I’m fine. How are the other students?”

“Oh, Mr. Potter’s soul was nearly sucked out by the dementor, he lost consciousness for a while. Which reminds me, do any of you have a cloth or a towel?”

Draco rolled his eyes at the mention of Potter, but looked back at you as you almost fell off the seat reached for your bag and rummaged through it. He pushed your hand away and knelt down to you.

“What are you doing, L/N?”

“You heard him, Harry needs a towel.”

“Well, I’ll get it, sit down, you just looked like Death a few minutes ago.”

He got a towel from your bag and handed it to Professor Lupin.

“Ah, Professor,” you sat up, sticking your hand in your pocket. “I heard chocolate helps relieve the pain. Maybe this could help?”

As you handed Professor Lupin the chocolate, Draco Malfoy stared at you in awe. You had just been so terrified just a few minutes ago, yet now you were more concerned of someone else’s wellbeing. He was so puzzled. He expected to fall in love with someone who was as spunky as him, someone who was as cold as he was, yet his heart chose you, someone who he could never imagine to be bad.

What the bloody hell was going on with him.

“Thank you, Y/N, I look forward to seeing you in class,” Professor Lupin smiled.

“Oh, and five points to H/H.”

You smiled weakly, then as Lupin left the compartment, you looked back at Draco, who was staring at you with an unreadable expression.

“What? Do… Do I still look like Death?” You laughed nervously.

“I…” Draco opened his mouth to speak, but closed it immediately, and shook his head while smiling.

“What?” You sat up as he shuffled in next to you.

“It’s just… do you know how beautiful you are?”

That took you aback. It left you stunned for a second.

“Why would you say that?” You were nothing short of confused.

“Because… I always saw you as one of the prettiest girls of our year, but the only thing that outshines that is your heart. I just saw you nearly die of horror five minutes ago, but you just… gave Lupin that chocolate instead of keeping it to yourself.”

“But Potter needed it more-”

“Potter, Schmotter.” He rolled his eyes. “What I’m saying is, I’m madly in love with you.”

You stared at him, speechless.

There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Of course, if you don’t feel the same way-”

You leaned forward and kissed him. Not actually kissed him, but a temporary brush of your lips on his; slow enough for him to stutter in surprise, but too fast for you to even register it in your brain.

He turned to you and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Did you just kiss me?”

You suddenly realized the danger of what you did and practically flew to the other side of the compartment.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” you stammered. “I’m sorry-”

But you were cut off when he pulled you up by the shoulders and leaned in.

“If you’re going to kiss Draco Malfoy, you have to do it absolutely perfectly,” he whispered hoarsely, “As you know, all Malfoys settle for nothing but the best.”

He pressed his lips to yours, and your hands found their way to his neck and up to his hair as he pulled you closer by the waist.

It felt like he wouldn’t pull away for a long time -but then again, neither would you- if the train hadn’t stopped.

“Well, a-are we dating now?” you asked unsurely.

“Not yet,” he pecked you on the nose. “This Saturday, Courtyard, wear something nice.”

You smiled.

“Of course, Draco,” you winked. “As you said, all Malfoys settle for nothing but the best.”

You and Draco sat down at your respective table wearing the biggest smiles on your faces.

Your friends were talking and chattering happily, but as they turned to you their jaws hit the table.

“Wh-what’s the matter?” You asked.

Your best friend pulled on your arm.

“You’re wearing a Slytherin robe.”

A/N: Now y’all know why Draco was concerned about Harry fainting ;)))

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy oneshots #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagines #prisoner of azkaban #draco fluff #draco malfoy fanfic #harry potter oneshots #harry potter fanfic

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beneaththetangles · 3 years

Text

Shoujo and the Bride of Christ (II)

FRIAR LAURENCE I’ll give thee armour to keep off that word: Adversity’s sweet milk, philosophy, To comfort thee, though thou art banished. ROMEO Yet ‘banished’? Hang up philosophy! Unless philosophy can make a Juliet…

Well, yeah, that’s how it usually goes. Were I Fr. Laurence, I’d probably have gone for something more like, “Go play some Renaissance baseball analogue to exhaustion, sleep well, and let’s speak of this again tomorrow.” And yet, I think the poor friar has a point here. Because romantic love between man and woman is not only a life-changing discovery and a call to fight the good fight, but also, unavoidably, something of a comedy of errors, misunderstandings, and absurdities, some of that would benefit from some reflection and wisdom, especially taking into account that, given the centrality of love and its signs in human life, the errors may very well turn the comedy into a tragedy (which, as a matter of fact… but no spoilers).

I fondly remember my first date of sorts, during my Freshman year at university. It was a great time, I deeply cared about the girl, and I´ll always pray for her, wherever she is. But, you may have noticed the “of sorts” part. Man, it is amazing how two human beings can interpret the same set of facts so differently. You miss the signs, and in retrospect, suddenly, it is obvious. Not everything is as meant to be as it seemed. Ahem. Where was I. My point was that hope, self-deception, wild assumptions, strikingly different understandings of what is happening, rose-colored or black-colored glasses, dubious rationalizations or whirlwind rides from the summit to the pits of desperation are part of the experience of being in love, and may take us to absurd, or dangerous, or hurtful, or simply unhelpful paths. And there are some things we can prevent, too, if, without losing the hopeful, fiery, courageous impulse, we learn from our experiences, and try to discern carefully.

In the fallen world, we need this kind of armor, even if we also need to avoid become trapped in them. It may not be sweet milk, but we may need some of adversity’s Georgia MAX Coffee. To set our hearts ablaze, and yet think and decide carefully, soberly, set of being kind and just. We need a sense of humor, and a willingness to correct course. We need patience, to interpret what is happening rightly, to differentiate between truth and hope without rejecting either, to accept the less glamorous aspects of loving someone. Reflection certainly cannot make a Juliet, but may help me, well, knowing, courting and loving the real Juliet, and not just the one in my head.

In my last article, I mentioned how anime has a gift for vivid personal worlds which leads to great depictions of the discovery of romantic love. It also has a natural tendency towards introspection and flashbacks (slow motion means there is less drawing to do, while flashbacks sometimes mean that you can reuse some takes, or so I have heard). But from these technical conveniences, it has gone far beyond, and developed a remarkable artistic tradition of adding layers to the past and the present.

And so, you have many great stories in which you see again what you once saw, and everything falls into place. Tragedies and comedies alike rely on this tools, and so we have tricky stories of love, heroism, mysteries and fate like Madoka and Erased, Oregairu, Fate Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works and Mawaru Penguindrum, Haruhi (like the protagonist, I just can’t escape Haruhi) or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Teasing Master Takagi-san and Princess Tutu.

In the shoujo genre, this tradition is just as strong. Reminiscence, interpretation, doubt, memories, hopes, the past, are often put to great use. So, let’s go on with my crazy (but St. Paul-sponsored) idea that the depiction of human love between man and woman, as well as a profound mystery, illustrates the relationship between Christ and the Church. What if I were to say that the illusions of love and their comical and tragic consequences are also helpful there? Once again, please bear with me.

Tohru Honda, and the Ugliness in the House of the Twelve

Just as compelling, super-strong warrior maidens, childhood friends in love since forever and ice queens who happen to be all interested in the same regular-looking, not-especially-popular guy are far more common in anime than the average high school, shoujo has its own wishful tropes. Rose-colored ambiences, Cinderella stories, roses framing the scenes, golden bubbles, and legions of strikingly good-looking characters with secret pains that only the protagonist can heal are among them. Fruits Basket (2001) takes some of this approach to the extreme. As a child, Tohru Honda would weep when the cat of a fable her mother told her was excluded by the twelve animals of the Chinese Zodiac. She was the same, as other kids at school excluded her, telling her that she was the onigiri (rice ball) in their fruits basket game, and letting her wait in vain to be called like the rest.

Since then, she has grown into an ever-optimistic, hard-working, generous, and extremely kind girl. Her mother has recently died, and, not wanting to bother anyone, she now lives…in a tent near a river. She cooks for herself, goes to school everyday, and works part-time in the evenings. But, when her place collapses during a storm, the elegant but distant school ice prince, Yuki Sohma, who lives with his older (yet also good-looking) cousin Shigure, takes her to his home. Soon, a loud, messy, athletic, troubled (and… yeah) cousin of Yuki and Tohru’s age called Kyo comes to live with them. As it happens, the family is cursed: They are the incarnations of animals of the Chinese Zodiac, and transform into animals when they are hold by someone (non-cursed) of the opposite sex. Learning of Tohru’s extraordinary circumstances, they offer her the job of housekeeper. And so it begins.

So, as you can see, not so much MAX Coffee so far. In the episodes that follow, Tohru increasingly becomes the loving, beating heart of the cursed Sohma family, able to help healing their wounds with her kindness, honesty and simple commitment. Everyone, or almost, is enchanted. It is a bit excessive. Honestly, I had to endure some parts of the story. And yet, why do I like it so? The answer is that, despite all the sometimes far-fetched circumstances, Tohru’s kindness is genuine. And I will never disdain genuine kindness, or laugh at it. And it did pay off. I won’t be too specific, but it did. “I have described it” says our Sensei of the entire Fruits Basket manga “as a giant wave of blessing, crashing on and overtaking one person after another after another in ever widening circles, all thanks to an unseen and unacknowledged God who also breaks real curses in real human lives.”

The Church of Christ, the prophesied new Covenant, is also like that. It’s the ultimate Cinderella story. Each of us Christians has been chosen by Christ. He has brought us home to a love like no other, to words of eternal life, to true communion, to forgiveness, to the Bread of Life, to miracles and wonders. To the key truths that the truly simple and the truly wise perceive. To true hope, to a love our deepest being is thirsty for, that transforms and solidifies us, that makes us ourselves. Open to those we love, too, and to everyone in this world. The joys in my life in Christ are unlike any others I have experienced. And that light, that goodness, are very real. But from there, precisely because it is so powerful, it’s easy to get things wrong. The Apostles imagined themselves reigning in a political Kingdom of Israel. St. Joan D’Arc thought she would return home to Domrémy. Lovers say that everything will be Eden now that they have each other. I may conclude that something is a date.

Tohru is a very optimistic character, and a very hopeful girl. But those are not always the same. While she feels blessed and fights her daily battles, both the evil and the good around her are beyond her understanding. When Israel, freely chosen by God, became a powerful nation free from its slavery in Egypt, completed its Exodus, sealed its alliance with God, conquered the Promised Land promised to Abraham and eventually became a great kingdom with a temple, everything seemed right. God walked with them, fought for them, was present. The Law described true goodness, in opposition to the idolatry, ignorance and self-enclosement of the Pagan world. There were miracles. But the real, deeper danger was there, mostly unbeknownst to them. So the Lord sent them inspired prophets, to awake them, to make them able to discern, to provide them with the right interpretation.

And then, He sent them His own Son, and He gave testimony to the truth, and was rejected and killed. And so the true darkness of Israel and the entire human race, the true enemy, came into light in all its ugliness. God tortured. God killed. But He is risen, and He has shown us a way: Himself. This is the story St. John tells us at the beginning of his Gospel. There is a moment (again, I won’t be very explicit) when Tohru’s previous love and kindness are not enough. When her commitment is tested and no one can help. When everything she has experienced, everything she has achieved, is put into question, and she has to acknowledge that she was wrong. When there are no easy answers. When she is forced to confront the genuine ugliness at the heart of the house of Sohma, the cursed monstrosity, the law of this world, without assurance that all will be well. It is the time to listen with faith. To embrace Christ in the Cross, and walk beyond anything we can see.

You may have heard the story of Emmaus. After the Crucifixion, two disciples walked away. Everything had collapsed. They had seen miracles and walked with Christ, but now their hope was dead. That is our Tohru, too. But a stranger walked with them, and asked them what had happened. They explained. And the stranger said: “O foolish ones, how slow are your hearts to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary for the Christ to suffer these things and then to enter His glory?” It was. “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He explained to them what was written in all the Scriptures about Himself.” “Were not our hearts burning within us as He spoke with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” Tohru’s Gethsemane experience was also necessary, and, for me, it was also the high point of the series. The character invested with a prophetic role also pointed her the way. And what happens in that place of darkness is believable, human, moving. Helpful.

From there, Tohru will be fruitful in a new world, because she can love in a way that can truly break the unmoving iron structure of her world. New possibilities of love are open. Being in the dream house of Sohma was not enough. For the Israelites, reaching the Promised Land was not enough. For a man and a woman in love, the moment of confession and corresponded feelings is not enough. For us, entering the Church, a personal bond with Christ, is not enough. We have also to experience, to witness, that whatever is born of God overcomes the world. That is our hope. From Pentecost to our days, Christ’s Church is prophetic, partaking in His mission as the teacher of true hope and true love. “He who hears you hears Me, he who rejects you rejects Me, and he who rejects Me rejects Him who sent Me.” She teaches us, warns us, reveals us the true meaning of what is happening, if we continue to listen, if we are humble, if we remain disciples.

How may this discipleship look in our lives? Tohru has many teachers. As the disciples of the first hour, we have the Gospel. In Emmaus, Christ pointed us to all the Scriptures. Also, the Catholic understanding is that, just as in Pentecost the inspired Apostle Peter stood up with the Eleven and proclaimed to the crowd the true meaning of what has happened, he being the spokesman, so their respective successors are invested with the charism in their announce and teaching, the Bishops in union with Peter. To them, it was said, “I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth.” I do believe that, from Pentecost and on, it has continued to be so. Also, Tohru had Saki, and Paul and the Acts tell us about prophets in the Church, and of ways to distinguish the true from the false. As the Spirit also lives in us, we have the signs, inspirations, even miracles, we may come to receive in our own prayer life. And lastly, we have a mind, created by God. We can reflect, taking all the above into account. And, as Tohru, the Bride of Christ, ears open, will learn how to be the Bride of Christ. I will. So I hope.

Only God knows what will happen in our lives, or why. Loving makes us both strong and vulnerable. We can be tempted, scandalized and hurt, sometimes terribly, even in the Church, by our teachers, brothers and sisters. We may discover we have hurt them terribly. In the course of life, we may suffer blows we didn’t expect. Our sins, our wounds, may overcome us. We may enter periods of spiritual darkness, or of depression. Signs may disappear. Everything may seem to collapse. But it is not over. The fight to truly love, to be ourselves in Christ, goes on. We will need to be vigilant, to check our assumptions, to be open to be corrected by God through the teachings of His Church. Because we need an armor.

“Finally,” St. Paul says to the Church, “be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” Fight with courage, Honda-san, and remain open. A deeper love, a new world, a path of salvation, lie ahead.

Yeah, I know I should watch the 2019 remake and read the manga. I will, eventually. No Divine Comedy for now, but it is near. And, as you may or may not know, the lady at the top is Mademoiselle de Jarjeyes, protagonist of another iconic shoujo, which is… not coincidental! Until the next time, stay strong, and Happy Easter.

=====

Fruits Basket (2001) can be streamed at Funimation, Crunchyroll and Amazon Prime Video.

#Anime #Christianity #Fruits Basket #Fruits Basket 2001 #Shojo #Shoujo #Articles #Author: Gaheret

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janexeu · 4 years

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though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia

seeing gods in dreams — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!

OTHER INFO

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ? the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

#euintro

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sophcaro · 4 years

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Back in Time | WMatsui - Chapter 14

Airi retrieved a glass from the cupboard and placed it next to the napkin and pair of chopsticks on the food stray, stealing a worried glance at Akane who was cooking. At this late time of the day, the house used to be full of life and filled with conversations, but their routine had been abruptly disrupted. These past few days, a heavy atmosphere enveloped each of their evenings. While Shizuru and Natsuki watched television in the living room, their female domestic robot, Alice, prepared dinner with the rigor and dedication she was famous for. In fact, the latter went on with her daily chores as usual and didn’t seem too disturbed by the recent arrangements in the organization of the household.

But not the same could be said for the other occupants of the house. Airi witnessed on a daily basis how Akane was affected by the decline of Rena’s health and mental condition. When was the last time she saw her wife smile or laugh? Airi couldn’t recall. As for their daughter Shizuru, it was a hard task to keep the truth from her. She kept asking questions. To know why Natsuki and Rena were living with them. To know why Jurina hadn’t showed up once since their arrival. Shizuru didn’t understand the situation, but was clever enough to realize her parents were hiding things from her.

Akane turned the burner off and poured the soup in the four bowls on the table, filling at last the bowl on the food tray. As she leaned down to carry the food tray, Airi reacted on instinct and held her arm. “Let me do it tonight.”

They exchanged looks in silence. A mixture of emotions flashed through Akane’s eyes – confusion, surprise. She gave her a weak nod of consent. “It will be alright.” Airi gave her arm a gentle squeeze, wanting to restore hope and confidence in the future. “We will go through this. Together.”

Akane’s eyes locked into hers. “I can’t handle seeing her like this. She’s my best friend. I want to help her any way I can. I just… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Airi saw her insecurity. Her despair. Her sorrow. “I know.” She leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Rena is a strong person. Right now, she’s going through a difficult phase, but she will overcome this. I know she will.”

A faint smile played across Akane’s lips. She didn’t add anything after that and Airi knew they wouldn’t speak of the subject anymore.

Airi left the kitchen and climbed the stairs leading to the upper floor, cautious not to spill the content of the food tray. As she approached the guest room, she felt a twinge of anticipation, fearing how her arrival would be received. Following Rena’s discharge from the hospital, Akane had drove her back to her house, but the outcome was a disaster. Rena didn’t have the energy and emotional capacity to take care of herself, breaking down each time her gaze fell upon the single remembrance of her deceased wife in the house. It had only taken Akane and Airi a short discussion to make a decision. That same evening, Akane brought Rena to live with them.

Airi passed the bedroom door, not surprised to find the lights off and the curtains closed. She squinted, letting her eyes get accustomed to the darkness. Her gaze fell upon the bed, undone but empty. Airi moved forward and laid the tray down on the table, switching the bed lamp on. The light slowly brightened until it flooded the room, the walls, the furniture, and the body curled in a corner of the room.

After two weeks, Rena’s physical frailty had reached a preoccupying stage. Rena was dressed in her pajama, her general appearance sloppy, her hair disheveled. Her face was as pale as death, her lips parched and crackled. She had an empty gaze, her eyes swollen and puffy. Despite the food presented to her three times a day, each food tray was returned barely touched. Rena spent all her days secluded in her room, alternating between sleeping and crying when she thought no one heard her.

Airi’s heart sank, still not accustomed to such a terrible vision. This person huddled on the floor, silently hugging her knees close to her chest, didn’t look like her friend. She bore no resemblance with the proud and confident millionaire CEO she had worked aside and known for so many years. Both she and Akane did everything in their power to be of moral support after the tragedy that had struck, but their efforts didn’t seem to pay off and have any positive effect on her.

Airi kneeled in front of her, murmuring. “I brought you dinner.” She received no response and laid a tentative hand on her knee. “Rena?”

The physical contact stirred her up. “Thank you.” Rena stared back at her with a blank look. “But I’m not hungry.”

Airi felt despondent and frustrated by the rejection. “I know, but you have to eat. Akane and I are worried about you. Think about Natsuki. She wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

At the mention of her daughter, Rena’s eyes filled with tears. “You think I’m a bad mother, don’t you?”

“Of course not,” Airi protested, caught off guard. “You are in pain and grieving. We love you, Rena. We will take care of you and Natsuki as long as necessary. But we want to help you go through this. So please. Promise me you’ll eat something?”

Airi feared her plea to be futile. Her friend was avoiding her gaze and didn’t look inclined to comply. Airi hesitated, acknowledging the tricky situation. She didn’t wish to show too much insistence; it would only push her friend to withdraw even further into her shell. She waited and stroke her arm, whispering a few words of comfort. She repeated the process, waiting, hoping to witness the slightest sign of change. She didn’t want to leave the room with another sense of failure.

At last, she caught Rena’s attention. Her lack of enthusiasm was showing, yet Airi’s patience was rewarded with a small, unconvinced nod. It wasn’t much, but enough to elevate her spirit. She helped her get up from the floor and they took the direction of the table. The meal went on in silence. Airi stayed by her side the whole time. Jurina’s absence resonated in every one of them and she couldn’t imagine the pain Rena was going through. However, after tonight, her chest filled with hope at the small step she achieved.

**********

“The prince reached the tower where the kidnapped princess was imprisoned. Without warning, his horse stopped with his head high, ears forward, body rigid. The prince began to soothe the animal with a caress on the neck, but the horse refused to move forward, stamping his feet in displeasure. The prince stared in front of him and reached for his sword, sensing the danger. Suddenly, a mournful howling sound could be heard. His jaw dropped in shock at the threatening green dragon that appeared in front of him. The prince felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He heard the storytelling of a dark creature invoked by the king, but refused to believe it. Today, he was going to fight his greatest enemy.”

Natsuki gasped and watched, wide-eyed, the dragon projected by the hologram, searching in the darkness for Shizuru’s hand. At the physical contact, Shizuru tilted her head in her direction, reading the terror plastered all over her friend’s face. Alice, her domestic robot, kept on narrating the story, projecting in Shizuru’s bedroom images of the brave prince fighting the dragon with all his might, the special effects coming from the hologram making the fairytale extremely realistic.

“After a fierce battle, the prince planted his sword in the belly of the beast. The earth trembled as the defeated dragon collapsed and expired his last breath. The prince, exhausted and severely injured, dragged his feet forward and marched ahead. He arrived at the bottom of the tower, his progress coming to a halt when a field of thorns developed and grew by magic, preventing him from accessing the front door. The prince’s bloodied arm trembled and he raised his eyes to heaven, devastated by the new obstacle. Was fate against him? When would his misery come to an end?”

“No!” Natsuki let out a frustrated scream. “Why can’t the prince be reunited with the princess already? Why??”

“I-I’m sure he will,” Shizuru said, taken aback by her outburst. “Let’s listen to the rest of the story and see what happens nex-”

“No! I don’t want to! Enough! Enough!”

Shizuru stared at her, complete surprise on her face. Her friend rose from the bed, agitated, refusing to spare another look at the hologram. Shizuru went silent, not knowing what to say next. Deep concern washed over her. Natsuki was on the verge of tears. “Alice…” She forced a smile and addressed hesitantly the robot who had paused the story. “Could you please… leave us alone?”

“Yes, Miss Shizuru,” the female robot said with a slight bob of her head. “Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.”

Shizuru followed her robot’s retreating form as she left the bedroom and redirected her attention to Natsuki. Since she began living with them, she hadn’t been the same. Shizuru had questioned her parents about it, wishing to know what was happening, but all she managed to learn was that she and her mother would be staying with them for a little while. Under other circumstances, she would have been overjoyed by the news. She loved spending time with her best friend. Nothing made her happier in the world. But everything had changed two weeks ago.

During their conversations, Natsuki almost never smiled. Every interaction with Alice, the family’s domestic robot, darkened her mood even more. Shizuru knew how affected Natsuki was by Alfred’s terrible fate. She didn’t understand either herself how come he had stopped functioning. But it wasn’t the only absence in her life that caused her friend so much pain. During family meals at 4, Shizuru didn’t miss the dejected look Natsuki would give the two empty chairs.

Shizuru gave a small tug at Natsuki’s hand. She was relieved when she didn’t reject her and came to sit by her side on the bed. In the past, Shizuru adored teasing and showering her friend with gestures of affection. A kiss on the cheek or a spontaneous embrace, often received by her shy friend with an embarrassed blush. However, this evening, when Shizuru laced their fingers together, her only objective was to bring her comfort. She suddenly had a flash of intuition. “Why don’t you go and see your mommy?”

Natsuki glanced up at her, startled. “But… Auntie Akane and Auntie Airi said I can’t.”

Shizuru tried to remain calm and think rationally, but her frustration at the situation bubbled under the surface. “I know and I think it’s silly. She’s your mommy! It makes no sense! You want to see her, no?”

She got a timid nod in reply.

Shizuru’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s go!” She stood on her feet and pulled on Natsuki’s hand. “Follow me. I know where her bedroom is.”

A flicker of hope brightened Natsuki’s bleak expression. “I-It would be disobeying. What if your parents get upset with me?”

“Who’s going to tell them? I won’t,” Shizuru said confidently and kissed her gently on the cheek. “I promise. It will be our little secret.”

**********

Rena tossed and turned in her bed for the umpteenth time. Would tonight be another night of torture? She hated the nights when she couldn’t sleep, her brain filled with memories of Jurina and her tragic death. Rena stared up at the ceiling. What time was it? It was hard to tell. She vaguely remembered Airi’s visit and taking a bite of the dinner she brought, the food feeling tasteless and bland on her tongue. She lost all appetite a long time ago. Rena was aware of the sleeping pill on the bedside table, ready to put her out of her misery. The temptation was high.

Sleep all day and forget? Or stay awake and have her days and nights filled with visions of the one she lost? The thought brought a lump to her throat and her eyes moistened. Her everyday life had never been the same since she crossed path with Jurina. She brought her a joy and sense of fulfillment her job never managed to accomplish. How could she go on with her life without her by her side?

All these years, she had become so dependent on her love, support and presence. Her heart wasn’t only broken into pieces. When she discovered Jurina’s lifeless body at the morgue, she also lost a part of herself. She felt paralyzed all day, detached from everything around her. Her emotions seemed to have disappeared; she felt physically and mentally drained. She was empty, like a cold shell, vacant.

At the sound of a small knock on the door, she hurriedly brushed away a lonely tear. Tears came so frequently and effortlessly. She prayed they would stop falling for once. She hated offering such a pitiful state of herself to her friends. Rena sat up in bed, frowning as she checked out the alarm-clock. A little over 10 p.m. Dinner had already been served. Had she been crying too much?

Air caught in her lungs when the person she expected the least appeared. Natsuki, her 5-year-old daughter, was standing on the doorstep. Rena grew rigid. She turned pale and clutched the bedcover. Shock. Disbelief. Fear. She had an agreement with Airi and Akane. She made them promise to not let Natsuki enter her bedroom under any circumstance. So what was her daughter doing here?

Rena followed her progress inside the room. Don’t come closer! she wanted to scream. She needed to stop her. She couldn’t witness her mother in such a bad condition. So why weren’t the words coming out? Natsuki paused once. And twice. She hesitated. She was afraid of being scolded. Rena could see it written all over her face. That’s when Rena realized she couldn’t prevent this reunion from happening. Of course, Natsuki missed her. She missed seeing her as much as she did. Tears sprang to Rena’s eyes and slid down her cheeks. When did she last lay eyes on her daughter? Days? Weeks? Her brain failed to come up with a single response. She lost all notion of time.

Natsuki came to stand beside her bed and, slowly, step after step, climbed onto the bed until they faced each other. Rena couldn’t breathe, let alone speak with the knot forming in her throat.

Natsuki’s fingers lightly touched her cheek. “Mommy is sad too...”

Rena shivered. “Y-Yes, mommy is sad.” She tried putting on a brave face to appear in control, but the sound of her voice breaking betrayed her true emotions. “Mommy… is not feeling well.”

“It’s because mama is not here?”

Rena could only nod by the affirmative.

“Where is mama? Why don’t you tell her to come back?”

Rena felt tears rising again but battled them back. She reduced the distance and wrapped her arms around Natsuki, pulling her close. “Honey…” Rena said hoarsely. “Mama… Mama is not coming back.”

“Why?” Natsuki leaned back, looking straight into her eyes. “I want to see mama… Where is she? Tell her to come home. Please. Please!”

Rena heard Natsuki’s intake of breath as a sob caught in her throat and saw tears streak down her cheeks. She embraced her in a tight hold, feeling her stomach churn at her daughter’s heartbreaking distress. It tore her heart to hear her cry. She needed to tell her the truth, but it was beyond her capacity. She couldn’t find the strength to utter the words out loud. “I know you love your mama. I love her too. But she’s not… She’s not coming back. It’s just the two of us now.”

“No!” Natsuki tore herself away from the embrace. “She promised we would always be together! What did you do?! It’s your fault! I hate you!”

Natsuki’s face had hardened; her eyes burned with anger and resentment. Rena didn’t have time to reply. Without another glance, Natsuki jumped off the bed and stormed out of the room.

Rena was left shocked and shattered.

Her heart clenched with pain, but she didn’t hold it against her for her harsh words. She was the only one to blame; she had handled the situation in such a terrible way. Rena felt more powerless and desperate than ever, before coming to the realization that it was probably for the best. Maybe she should let Natsuki believe she was the reason why Jurina left. How could she bring herself to tell her daughter that her dear mama - the one she admired, praised and loved more than anyone in this world - had died in a cruel car accident? Rena’s own sanity was already hanging by the thinnest of threads. The idea of destroying her daughter’s fragile innocence with the truth was too unbearable to consider.

#wmatsui #matsui jurina #matsui rena #wmatsui fanfic #takayanagi akane #furukawa airi #SKE48 #AKB48 #back in time #chapter 14

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damn-daemon · 5 years

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Prologue for The Pity of War

I’m not sure when I’ll write more, but the prologue was really calling to me, so I’ve decided to post it on here and get a reaction from everyone. This story is something I’ll probably write a few chapters of before I do anything with it.

The prologue takes place during WWI. I don’t claim to know everything about it, but I certainly try.

Above all, I am not concerned with Poetry. My subject is War, and the pity of War. The Poetry is in the pity. -Wilfred Owen

Prologue

They called him ‘the blue-eyed soldier.’ Said that he came into the field hospital thick with filth and grim like all the others. It made the hue of his eyes stand out, as bright as the sky and haunting. His uniform was tattered, the leather of his boots rotting, and there were no distinguishing marks on him, the insignia having peeled from his jacket and the orderlies having yet to collect his name.

But the eyes, they told her. You’ll know him by the eyes.

Ruth Coleman had listened to their gossip and shook her head quietly. She hadn’t approved of their whispered judgements, but far bet it from her to stop them. They all had their ways of getting by, and little acts reminiscent of their old lives were what kept their grip of reality from slipping away. She liked to draw, when she could. A sketch of a flower or a drying sheet caught on the breeze.

But never their faces.

It would not have been hard to do so, those faces so clearly engraved upon her memory that in her mind’s eye, she could touch them and know how coarse the skin was beneath her fingers. But one day, Ruth thought, those faces might finally fade, and to commit them to paper was just another way to draw out the agony.

She’d been sketching a bird she spied earlier in the evening, her efforts dimly lit by a lantern close to empty. It had been strange, seeing the little creature. Aside from the war horses and the rats that plagued the cooks, Ruth had seen no sign of other animals. They were the intelligent ones, fleeing the war while man charged ever onward. But a flash of yellow had caught her eye, and there it was, perched on a rotting fence post. It called out once before taking to wing, in search of kinder surroundings, but that moment had resonated within her; it reminded Ruth of things she did not think of anymore, of before and the life she dared not dream to have again.

There was only the present in war, the ever plodding, colorless present.

A flash of light had caught her attention, or so her mind believed. The officers insisted they could not see the illumination rounds from where they were stationed, but Ruth had become well acquainted with lies. Lies to keep the peace, lies to ease the pain, lies to assuage the fear of a young woman so far from home. Perhaps one day, she would appreciate those little lies, but for the time being, they made her feel like a child again, unable to control her emotions, so the truth was kept from her, dictated by those who knew better.

Whatever the light had been, the front or her imagination, it led Ruth to a small figure walking toward her.

Her name was Mary. She was slight of frame, with gold locks the soldiers loved. How they begged her to remove that head scarf. One offered five quid to touch just one of her curls.

“Bed three is expected,” she said quietly. “I’d have stayed to do it myself but…”

Ruth shut her journal. “It’s alright, Mary. Go get some sleep. I’ll see you at dawn.”

He had been from Cardiff, the boy who passed, no older than eighteen. She’d known many boys who had lied about their age, as young as fifteen. They fought and died the same as the rest, although sometimes she wondered if they weren’t a touch braver than the others. They knew so little about the world, about themselves, and yet they were a world away from home, bleeding out on fields that they might have never seen had there been no war.

The orderlies did not take the dead at night, for fear of disturbing the wounded and what little sleep they received, but Ruth would not leave him in such a state. It was her job, and her honor.

She closed his distant, dark eyes and saw to it that his clothes and bandages were not caught on anything. Quietly, Ruth covered his body with a thick, green blanket, from head to toe, and placed his boots on his legs. She’d taken one of his tags, and saw to it that his personal effects – of which there were not many, a letter, a picture, a broken watch – were placed in a small basket that would remain in her possession until the morning. Desperate soldiers tended to steal whatever they could, but none should have need for a small photograph of a young woman with dark hair and bright eyes.

Ruth crossed herself and said a small prayer. She’d stopped believing that God listened ages ago, but felt compelled to act nonetheless.

It was as she finished, that she heard the sound: the quiet whimpers of a man trapped in his dreams.

Sometimes, that was all it was. The man would fidget, his breathing would even out, and there wouldn’t be another peep from him until the sun broke over the horizon. But other times, they were not so lucky. They would thrash about and call out, screaming as if they were at war right then and there. It would wake the others, sometimes triggering their own dangerous episodes. Men had been hurt this way; men had died this way.

When the first thrash came, Ruth dropped the basket and fell to her knees before the man’s bed. She threw her arms upon him, hoping to keep him as still as possible, as she began to speak into his ear.

“You’re not in the trenches,” she spoke quickly, her arms struggling to keep his down. Most of the men were stronger than her, doubly so when they believed their lives in danger. “Listen to my voice. You’re safe. You’re safe here.”

He threw her off then, hard and violently. Unable to catch herself in time, Ruth felt her forehead slam onto the frame of the next bed over. Her eyes felt crossed, and the world spun briefly.

As she sat there on the ground, momentarily stunned, Ruth noticed the bed creak.

The soldier occupying the bed she’d hit had stood up, and was using his body weight and free arm – the left having been tightly wrapped in a sling – to hold the frantic man down. She heard his deep voice saying something, calm and authoritative, but it seemed to have no effect.

Shaking her head, Ruth returned to action, grabbing both sides of the poor man’s face as her elbows held down his shoulders. Her new assistant was practically straddling the bed, holding the soldier’s legs down with his own as his right arm struggled with the two their patient possessed.

“Listen to me. Listen to me,” Ruth spoke, her voice as sweet as she could make it be. “Everything is fine. You’re alright, soldier. Look at me. Look at me.”

“His name is Danny,” the man behind her said.

“Look at me, Danny,” Ruth continued, caressing the poor man’s face. His skin was so thick with sweat, and hot to the touch. “Danny, listen to me and open your eyes.”

He did so then, wide, frightened pupils staring up at her like she wasn’t there. But she could see them slowly coming back into focus, awareness pulling at the edge of his mind. He was out of danger. Now it was time to bring him home.

“There you are,” she said softly, running her hand over him again. “Everything is fine now, Danny, alright? Everything is fine.”

His breathing slowed, eyes looking about the tent, reacquainting himself with his surroundings. Then they focused back on her.

“Oh God, did I do that to you?”

It was only then that Ruth felt the warmth alongside her eye, the pulsing just above her brow. She doubted the cut was large, but the head always bled the most and longest. There was no doubt in her mind that it looked worse than it was.

“Don’t worry about that, Danny,” she said, attempting a smile. “I’m a nurse. I can handle it, I promise. You just get some rest.”

She stood then, pulling her head scarf from her dark curls.

“You’ll be alright now, Danny,” she heard the other soldier say.

“Thanks, Tommy.”

Ruth watched the other man stand as she bunched up her scarf and raised it to her head.

“Allow me,” he said, hand outreached. She could make out the blisters on his palm. “I’m no doctor, ma’am, but I can see that wound better than you.”

She acquiesced, handing the bunched cloth over rather than make another scene. They had undoubtedly woken up a few of the other soldiers, but they were very good at pretending they weren’t listening.

As the man pressed the cloth against her brow, Ruth got a good look at him. His face was thin with high cheekbones, his hair shaved at the sides like many soldiers hoping to prevent lice, and his eyes…

They were right. She did know ‘the blue-eyed soldier’ by them.

Her hand reached up, grabbing the cloth from him and placing pressure of her own. “You should go back to sleep, soldier. You just got in today, from what I’ve heard.”

He nodded slowly, settling back onto his bed.

“I want to thank you, ma’am,” he said, looking up at her. Most soldiers tended to look away when they spoke, perhaps at their hands or something else just to the left or right of her, but this man looked directly at her, with no hesitation or sign of moving away. “He’s a friend from back home.”

“I should be the one thanking you,” she admitted, never a fan of praise herself. “You’re a good friend to him.”

Now he did look away, to Danny, who had already fallen asleep again.

“I don’t know about that.”

“What’s your name, soldier?” she asked, hoping to avoid him slipping into melancholy as most soldiers were prone to do.

“Sergeant Thomas Shelby, Small Heath Rifles, ma’am.”

“Well, Sergeant Shelby, I’d offer to shake your hand, but my right one is occupied, as is your left one. I’m afraid it would make for an awkward affair.”

He nodded. “So it would, ma’am.”

The rest of the night was blessedly quiet, allowing Ruth to see to the wound she had received. In the morning, the orderlies took away the boy from Cardiff and replaced him with another wounded soldier from some other town nowhere near where they were. She watched the affair quietly, as did Thomas Shelby and his blue eyes.

Before she turned in, Ruth returned to his bedside and held out her right hand.

“I believe I owe you this, Sergeant Shelby.”

There was a ghost of a smile on his face when his hand took hers, his grip strong, callouses like sandpaper against her skin.

That was the first of seven days Ruth Coleman knew Thomas Shelby during the Battle of the Somme.

Seven days was all it took for neither to ever forget about the other.

#i don't know where this prologue came from but here it is #it attacked me in the dead of night and wouldn't let go until i wrote it #please tell me what you think!#i love some feedback #the pity of war #ruth coleman #peaky blinders oc #peaky blinders fanfiction

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viampythonissam · 5 years

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Intro, continued...

It was then I became obsessed with death and the occult, desperately trying to make contact with my grandfather through anything possible. Being clairaudient, I was expecting to hear a message from my grandfather all throughtout the whole funeral and mourning period, but to no avail. So in my desparation, I went into research, and stumbled upon things such as the ouija, seances, and many more. I even considered dabbling into necromancy, just in order to hear from him again. His death broke me so much that I was for the most time wishing I were dead too. I had suicidal thoughts but somehow something has prevented me from attempting. It could be I'm too chicken to hurt myself (getting hurt by other things besides self-infliction doesn't scare me though) or the thought of my mother crying over my dead body is another thing that would crush my heart.

I started questioning my religious beliefs then. We were Roman Catholics, and we go to church, but not too often. I am very religious though when I was a child, having been schooled in a private Catholic school, and I know all the prayers by heart; but it all changed. I felt resentment for praying so hard but never getting answered. That everything happens for a reason. A reason still so vague to me to this day, which I continue to believe was the same reason of the breaking apart of this family and eventual downfall. The family is in ruins, and the family home is crumbling apart. My father's only brother, my uncle Aldrin, died a little over two years after my grandfather; and his widow and only child, my cousin, was estranged ever since then, because of inheritance issues. My father decided to sell the house, my childhood home because of this; splitting the family fortune already so that we can all go off our separate ways and stop the bickering. The only thing that's keeping him from doing so is my grandmother who is still so attached to the house built by my grandfather.

At 16, I eventually traversed my way into the craft, dabbling on it. There was a kind of pull into these mystics that appealed to someone like me. Was it power? Was it danger? Mystery, perhaps? Or maybe I just got all too familiar with the unknown for me to be comfortable chasing after it? This craft, shunned by my faith since the dawn of time and even killed tons of people because of it, felt like home to me; learning it felt like retracing my steps back from where I came from. There was a sense of calm, relief, and freedom learning the ways of the earth, elements, and spirits and those who came before. Its unrestrictive nature was a stark contrast to the repressive and dominating teachings of the Catholic scriptures. Wherein Christianity demands a million things to do and not to do to save your soul, the craft only ever wanted you to do anything you want, just as long you harm none, even yourself. I have a lot of arguments to make against my old faith, that's why I consider myself an agnostic in all fairness. That's a topic for another day.

When I got to college at 17, I applied for nursing school under my father's wishes. It was in my misfortune to be enrolled in a school with a toxic environment of sorts: unhealthy clinic hours, unreasonable school workload, toxic Christian classmates who bombarded me everyday with bible verses and inviting me to join Sunday worship thingies. I am very respectful of other's beliefs and opinions but I really have a bone to pick with the Born Agains because upon knowing I am interested in dark movies and occult, they've started telling me that the Devil has a grip on my soul and that I should stop it so that my soul can be saved. They're even worse than the Mormons and Witnesses who knock on your door at certain days. I'd just ignore it and they'll go but BAs will stop at nothing to guiltify me of being possessed and that I need deliverance. It was also the time my parents went to Australia for work because of the failing finances due to to my late grandfather's hospital expenses, my uncle meeting his untimely demise, and my uncle's greedy widow who already demanded their inheritance even though my grandmother was still alive. My best friends of highschool also attended different schools and pursued different career pathways which left me feeling more isolated and unsure of myself. These issues fed my undiagnosed depression and relapse of suicidal thoughts all throughout my 4 years in nursing school. It was a mix of emotions, a rollercoaster ride of disappointments, achievements, first-time experiences, full independence. All without a proper support system. Nevertheless, I grew wiser while treading the craft, and for the first time since I lost my grandfather, I felt safe and sound and complete.

Then I met my elementary school sweetheart again in my final year and we became a couple. He was a sweet guy, smart and responsible. We had our similarities, our quirks, but we also had differences. I was already quite a learned witch, studying tarot and palmistry as my supposed-to-be expertise, when he told me how he wanted to be baptised as a Born Again (he and his family are Roman Catholics as well). He told me how he was deeply affected by the one time he went to a worship service of his friend's church. This struck a chord in me, a subtle reference to my beliefs. At the time, I have fully believed he is the man I'm gonna settle for, the one I'm gonna marry. He's everything I have hoped for then: he's finished school, on his way to a very decent career on a ship as a marine engineer. He's from a good family as well. Well-mannered, and not to mention that we've got a pretty long history way back when we we're 10 or so. He even made a subtle proposal of a civil marriage before he hops on board the ship. I know it was betrayal of myself, but I love this man so much so, I am ready to submit myself to him.

Worst decision of my life. I started to try and mingle with Christians so I may understand just why I needed to be saved. I joined worship services and sang with them against my own beliefs. I taught myself to be like them just so I could fit in, so that I may have friends. In return, they've burned all my books and tarot decks. Even my Slipknot t-shirt that my grandmother bought me was not spared from the Christian pyre. Said that it's to release me from the grip of the Devil. They even did deliverance to me. For a while I thought I was given a new lease on life and that this is the only right thing to do. I was easily convinced since it was the most trying time of my life so far: I was killing myself reviewing for the nursing licensure exams, my parents are already coming to get us and live away in Australia for good, my bf and I hit rock bottom and broke up (the girl who is the 3rd party confessed to me that they're having an affair, and that she was so guilty she can't sleep at night knowing we are good friends and they're doing this behind my back, also I've noticed red flags about him that made me doubt him a bit. I factored everything and the dots connected like a damn constellation so I've called it quits), and I was caught in an identity crisis because of inner turmoil. Maybe it was a time of personal upheaval and the mix of situations was too much for me to handle. Maybe it was a good thing though that I never got baptised because my life just got much more complicated after that.

So I did pass the licensures, ex and I never got together again, I went to live to Australia, but I never recovered from the inner turmoil thing; which made me spiral down again the depression lane, this time in its dangerous, ugliest and darkest recesses. I was fighting with my parents which I never did before, I was angry all the time. I started drinking then and I was exhausted all the time I just want to sleep. All the activities I've enjoyed before like sketching, playing the piano, afternoon strolls, and cooking for the family, I've totally lost interest in. My health deteriorated and I cut off and isolated myself from my friends overseas, ignoring their messages and emails. I tried to cope up by immersing myself in Christian songs and scriptures but it was not enough. I was still empty and numb. I was like a zombie, waking up just enough not to get late for work, then go home after, eat unhealthily, play video games, chug a bottle or two of beer, surf the net for worthless and trivial things, and sleep very late, like around 3 to 5 am, only to wake up again a few hours later for work. This was a vicious daily cycle that went on for 4 years. The only reprieve I had was my video games, and my sombre playlist, just enough to block the deafening screams of suicidal thoughts and ideations before I go to sleep. There was also a time I was going home from my internship waiting for the train home, that I thought of just jumping on the train tracks to end the struggle and pain. I was more than ready to attempt as I felt braver now. That was the time I lost all fear for death. Hell, I was ready to buy a rope at Bunnings too as well. But at the back of my head, the same sad picture of my mother crying over my dead body stops me from doing such thing. They said the deliverance was supposed to stop these things, but guess what? It was it that brought it back. It was supposed to keep the demons away, but it did the opposite, and felt so trapped in a cage of deceit and lies. I was supposed to be saved, but why did it felt like I was dying?

It was then I pondered over everything that's happened in my life so far. Where did I fall, where did I stand tall, where did I pick myself up? I thought long and hard enough and decided to start off where it began to crumble: back home. Retracing my steps back to Manila, now 25, I found my old stuff in my old room, before things happened. It reminded me of my simple life and my freedom and innocence. Back when I had complete control of my life. Back when I was the master of my fate. I let the people around me convince me that the man from the sky take the wheel, and it damn well crashed. A head-on collision with a destructive force. I decided to go back to my roots, the one where I felt best. And embracing it tighter than ever and promising to never betray it anymore for any reason.

My ex is now preparing to marry his girlfriend of 3 years. We met accidentally and forgave him already. I'm happy for him and that hopefully his happiness continue on. My old friends are still my friends, but there's already a notable gap between which I do not intend to close at all anymore. I do have new friends now and I keep a healthy distance from them whilst making a worthwhile connection. I am now preparing to enter med school in August and become a surgeon someday. The old house is in shambles, and I realized that a house is not a home, but the family that lives in it. I miss my parents and that my family will always come first, but I am happy to be more independent now and live by myself while studying medicine. Things are well between me and my cousin (my late uncle's child) and that I have forgiven his mother already for the hurt and trouble that they caused us. We see each other as he visits me and grandmother here at the old house every 2 months. When BAs, Mormons, and other religions try to do bible study to me, I am now assertive to tell them that I am agnostic and that I am firm in my beliefs. I am now recovering from my self-destructive ways and more optimistic and living healthier. Love is around, but it felt to me that I have lots to undertake first before I commit myself to someone again. I have backlogged so much that my time has to be devoted to the craft, my family and myself first before anything else. I am trying hard to pick up all the pieces and it seems things are finally going back in its right place. And the craft, after all these years, welcomed me back with open arms without any questions, like a mother does to her child. The sun, moon and the stars never shone brighter before, the day I returned home and answered its longing call.

Now. I have to let this off my chest now once and for all. Pleasure. Why is it a sin to pursue whatever makes you happy? Why must you endure pain just so you can be saved? Isn't that a crooked logic? Why must you be averse to your own will just so you get into a good place in the afterlife? I am only human, I am flawed, but it isn't my fault because I was born and created this way. Why must I be punished for something that is natural for me? If being free and happy costs me a one-way ticket to Hell, then I'd best be off. If my witchcraft, which teaches the opposite of your tyrannic religion, is a surefire way to deliver me there, then I'll make sure I will be a remarkable witch and enjoy my lifetime, and be very ecstatic to march down the fiery highway to Hell after I am gone. But I will never again submit myself to a narcissistic, psychopathic religion who has to kill millions of innocent people, and shun and humiliate people who think in contrast, just to justify and preach the existence of their god and its scriptures. My argument does not end with this and I will not back down anymore in defending my faith.

The craft is my world, and nature is my home. I am a daughter of those who came before, of those who are truly enlightened, of those you can never ever kill. I am a witch, and you can never take that away from me again.

*** Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading, if you did. I hope you had something to take from my story and may it help you with whatever is botheringvor troubling you right now.

May the journey of life be kind to us all. Blessed be! ❤

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doptimous · 6 years

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VeC - chapter 2 - Antwerp

Here we are, second and last chapter of my contribution of @moonprincess92nz‘s Food Travel AU. It’s too long but I truly love Antwerp and I wanted to do it justice and then plot happened. *sigh*

He drifted in and out of sleep for nearly two hours and when finally, the bus stopped, Cassian felt overly disoriented. The night completely surrounded them, there was nearly no light outside and with Jyn still snuggled to his side, for the first time in days, he was actually a bit too warm. For such a small person, she ran surprisingly hot. The thought brought a new wave of warmth to his face and he was glad of the low light in the bus that prevented anyone to notice his blush.

He was lucky enough no one teased them but since Kes and Shara were all wrapped in their own bubble and Kay wasn’t the kind to comment on things like that maybe, maybe, he’d manage to avoid a public humiliation for indulging some human contact. After all, it wasn't his fault if Jyn fell asleep on his shoulder and okay, maybe he could have pushed her away slowly but why risking waking when she wasn't bothering him in any way? It didn't mean anything. And it didn't mean anything either when she blinked owlishly at him with her hair in disarray and the cutest smile on her lips.

“Hey,” he said stupidly, “we're here.”

If he could, he would have bang his head somewhere but luckily, no one heard him and Jyn seemed too out of it to notice the absolute nonsense of his words.

“Let's get out of this bus, shall we?”

That was a bit better but not for long because of course, Jyn realized what had happened and she blushed and stuttered an apology while trying to put the maximum distance between them and she nearly tripped on the strap on her bag in her rush to flee. Cassian reached for her arm to help her and with what he hoped was a very neutral tone, told her, “It's okay. Take your time, everything's fine.”

Then he grabbed his bag and went to join Draven and Mothma on the parking lot and didn't get time to worry about her anymore. Part of him wanted to stay but a bigger one feared the comment of the team so he chose to put some distance between them, at least for now. Since Kay was overseeing the unloading of the bus, probably to be sure that his equipment wasn't manhandled in any way, Cassian went to discuss with both directors about the upcoming shooting. The schedule wasn't too full and it didn't involved anything weird. A quick diner here at Antwerp followed by a few shots and a lunch the next day then they'd go to Brussels to take their plane and since it only took an hour to join the capital, they stayed here for two nights to minimize the cost of the bedding.

For now, of course, they had to check in their hotel if only to put their luggage away before filming. It would be unpractical to wander the city with a duffel bag and a suitcase so he followed Kay in the lobby and waited with the rest of the team to get his key. That when he noticed Jyn and Shara talking animatedly, well at least Shara was speaking with her hands and Jyn nodded while looking extremely bored and finally, Shara hugged her and left without another word.

“You're staring, dude,” Luke chuckled beside him, his phone in his hand. Cassian gaped but didn't deny it. He watched the Community Manager typed quickly on his screen and he nearly missed Kes walking behind him. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and whispered, “So, amigo, how was it to sleep with the girl of your dream, hu?”

Cassian resisted the urge to push him away and only huffed in response but of course, Kes wasn't deterred so easily.

“Just admit you like her, Andor, we all see it. And I'm pretty sure she likes you too.”

Luke scoffed at that but he never looked up from his phone so it was difficult to know if it was really addressed to them. Anyway, Cassian was relieved when Draven call for him and Kay to get their key and prepare for their first shooting. It was time to work and maybe, he'd think about how good it was to have in his arms later but nobody needed to know that.

–--

She was settling on her bed and finally talking to Bodhi when there was a knock on her door.

“Oh oh, you've got company!”

Of course, Bodhi had to hear it too but Jyn rolled her eyes and didn't bother to get up. “It must be Shara. She gave me her suitcase when we arrived because she was hungry and couldn't wait to pick something. She can't work with a empty stomach, or so she said.” She pushed her computer to the side and said loudly, “It's open, come in!”

Her friend didn't seem convinced but he didn't press on the subject. That was one of the best things about him. She smiled at him when he resumed his story about the daily life of their home and she was so focused on her screen, on her friend, she didn't notice it wasn't Shara who came in her room. When finally she saw Cassian, he looked absolutely dreadful.

“What happened?”

The question was out before she could think and she was immediately on her feet.

“Nothing, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I...”

Bodhi's voice interrupted whatever he wanted to say when he squealed happily, “So you score a night with your crush and you didn't tell me!!”

Jyn groaned, mortified. “Shut up, Bodhi! That's not... just shut up.”

Again, she pushed her computer away, as if it could help with her situation and looked back at Cassian with her best fake natural smile pretending Bodhi didn't say anything. “So, what are you doing here?” She tried to smile more genuinely but she was way too stressed to manage more than a pitiful grimace.

“I... My suitcase was...” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to avoid looking at her as much as possible. That was when Jyn realized she had her pants wide open and only a very slim tank top under her hoodie.

“Shara told me there was a mistake with the luggage and apparently, my suitcase should be here.”

Brow furrowed, Jyn walked past him to grab the suitcase Shara'd given her and indeed, now she looked more closely at the tag, it wasn't hers.

“Why would she ...”

“She set you up, mate!” Bodhi's voice rang loudly in the room, followed by his barely hidden laugh. Jyn scolded, as did Cassian but before she could say anything else, Bodhi added, “You should play her.”

“How?”

Bodhi grinned at Cassian when he sat at the edge of the bed to face her computer and Jyn would have blushed if she wasn't so upset at her teammates.

“Well, obviously this Shara wanted you to spend some times together outside of your work,” Bodhi began and his eyes bored into Jyn's like a 'and I totally wonder why' but he had the very bright idea to not say it loud. “So you could either pretend you spend the night together and go all mushy until they all get bored of it or-”

“Or we'll do the opposite and pretend-”

“No,” Cassian cut brusquely, “since she wanted to meddle, the best way to get back at her is to let her in the dark.”

“What do you mean?”

Cassian was now avoiding looking at both her and Bodhi and it was very frustrating, especially with a topic like that. Then he turned to her and nearly pinned her with his intense gaze.

“Do you trust me?”

There was something dark in his eyes but his lips were gently curled, as if he was fighting a smile. Jyn took his hand and nodded.

“Then go change, we're going on a date.”

This time, his smile was more obvious and clearly playful. Jyn grinned back and she just waved Bodhi off when he tried to know what they were up to. She had no idea what Cassian had in mind but she wouldn't refuse a date with him, even a fake one.

---

Founding an open supermarket at nine in the center of Antwerp was tricky but they managed to find a weird place underground but it was clean and it sold all kind of snacks and comfort food someone could want at night.

Jyn followed Cassian in silence as he grabbed random bags of candies or biscuits and finally, and the end of a third aisle, she asked, “So, what's the plan? Dying of sugar poisoning?”

Cassian stilled and looked down sheepishly.

“Well, I thought we could watch a movie or two in my room and I'd hope it seems conspicuous enough for Shara to take the hint-”

“You'd hope ? Well, sorry to tell you that but obviously you don't know Shara very well.”

He tried to hide his blush but Jyn saw it and smiled. He was cute when embarrassed.

“Okay so you're picking snacks for a movie night, but do you realize we've both eaten less than a hour ago?”

He nodded slowly and mumbled something about tomorrow morning that sounded highly suspicious but Jyn let it go because she wasn't sure how she felt about it. Instead, she grabbed two bags of candies and put them back on a shelf, replaced them by a bag of pop corn and went to the drink aisle for beer because if she was to spend the night in his room, pretending to whatever he had in mind, she preferred not to be to sober. She also picked a box of chocolates by the cashier because she could and when they went back to the hotel, they both had their arms full of junk food but at least, there was variety of it.

It was a bit weird to follow Cassian in his room, even if it was a perfect copy of her own it seemed intrusive and when she put her purchase on the bed she was glad she had alcohol with her. There was no place to sit beside the bed if they both wanted to see the screen. Cassian must have realized it too because he began to shuffle with his laptop, searching fr a way to plug it to the TV so Jyn opened her first bottle for the night, took a big gulp and shoo him away.

“Let the professional do her work, okay?” she teased while looking for the HDMI cable and when she found it, she held it to Cassian with a smirk. “See? I know my way around this kind of stuff.”

“Never doubt it.”

The way he said it, with such honestly and warm nearly made her blush and to avoid any more embarrassment, she asked, “What are we watching?”

Cassian pushed his laptop her way so she could see his list of movies. It was a very long list. He had almost every films of the last two years plus some older, a few classics and even some short films listed by foreign festivals.

“Wow, you're a real film-lover. I never thought I found someone who had anything from the ASSF.”

Again, Cassian hunched his shoulders and avoided her eyes and she was pretty sure his neck was red when he said, “I told you Kay'd stalked you when he'd learned you'll stand in for him... and well, you did a short film for the Aesthetic and-”

“And you had to watch it, of course.”

If anyone else had saw this particular movie she did in 2014 for the Aesthetic Festival, she would have felt ashamed, because it was bad but Cassian didn't mock her for it. Still, she drank some more because she didn't know what to say.

“you were cute in front the camera, too.”

She groaned but his smile was sincere so she didn't say anything else.

“So anything you fancy?” he asked in a blatant change of subject she was truly grateful for. “That's my to-watch list, so don't worry about me, choose whatever.”

He let her with his laptop and went to arrange the cushions so they can lean on the headboard and she was glad he didn't try to force them to stay too close. She picked up a random title and went to sit next to him. She could do it. After all, even if they were on his bed, it wasn't really his, he never slept in it and it was large enough for the tow of them, they didn't have to touch. She took the pop corn bag he gave her and focused on the screen because if she started to think about how she was here, she'd make things awkward.

In hour in the film, she was in her third Chouffe and she felt pretty dizzy. Cassian wasn't any better. They both giggled stupidly and once again, Jyn felt herself falling. It shouldn't become a habit to sleep on his shoulder, yet here she was. The film was good but it was late and she was drunk. By the time the credits rolled, she couldn't keep her eyes open but when she tried to get up, Cassian pushed her down on the bed. He ran his hand through her hair and she would have purr if she could.

“Shh, stay here. I'll go sleep in your room, don't worry.”

Jyn mumbled something that sounded dangerously like a too honest version of “no problem, I can share,” but when she opened her eyes again, she was alone in his bed and she didn't bother to get up. It was just an hotel room, they could perfectly switch, nobody should care.

---

Antwerp by day light was a very pleasant surprise and Cassian really needed it after his fiasco of the night before. He should never have suggest to go out with Jyn in the first place and he shouldn't have made her come to his room. He'd made a fool of himself and even if she hadn't seemed upset this morning, he still felt like a jerk for spending the night in her room just to be seen at the right time and never telling her anything. Part of him wanted to tell Jyn what had happened and how he'd prepared for it but he feared for her reaction and for now, he couldn't speak to Jyn directly about anything else but the shooting so he didn't try.

He took a deep breath when he walked out of the hotel and was very pleased to note Antwerp wasn't as cold as Amsterdam and even if the sun was still missing, there was no rain, no wind, nothing. Just a late autumn day in a city that was truly beautiful. They were a few blocks away from the main station and when he saw the baroque buildings around Queen Astrid Plaza with all the gilding and the dramatic intensity of the construction, he regretted even more arriving at night. He would have sold their first filming better he had knew. Then maybe Draven had other ideas about the montage and wouldn't have it in a linear way.

Today, they walked around the Diamond district to take some pictures and shoot a few scenes before making a small chat with local tourism officials in front of Rubenshuis, the former house of the well-know Flemish artist. Cassian wasn't really familiar with architecture business but as he walked around the large streets of Antwerp's Center, he still appreciated the work on the stone façades with the exuberant towers and the half-columns.

As they took a break in front of the cathedral, he saw Shara coming near Jyn with a very determined look on her face and he nearly sighed when Kes and Luke tried to approach him as well. Of course, they wouldn't let the matter drop now.

“We didn’t see you this morning,” he heard Shara said as she looked over Jyn’s shoulder to peak at the small screen of her camera. Jyn hummed in response and still focused on her screen before raising her eyes to catch his and smirked. Maybe he'd be lucky enough for her to not mind much. She was nearly asleep when he left her and it wasn't like he took advantage of her or anything.

“What are you getting at, Shara?”

Cassian knew he shouldn't look at her, not with Kes and Luke so close, not with Kay probably still filming because the man didn't know when to stop but he couldn't help himself. With her legs firmly camped on the cobblestone and her camera raised in her hand like a weapon, Jyn looked ready for the battle and Shara didn't stand a chance. Despite her best effort to pry, Jyn didn't give her anything and Cassian felt a rush of pride to see her defect so easily her friend questioning. Of course, since Jyn didn't break, Cassian had to face his own questioning and if Luke tried for subtlety by mentioning his plans for the day, Kes was far more onerous. He kept ranting about how Antwerp was the right place to catch a girl, how buying diamond here was the best idea because of the price and how the city was so romantic.

“So, you bought your girl something?” Cassian finally asked to avoid having to tell him anything. When Kes fumbled with a response, Jyn chuckled and came to wrap an arm on his shoulders.

“Oh come on, dude, you should have seen it coming! You're the only one here trying to be steady. So go pick some ring and put it on her, I'm sure she'll be glad and won't think about all the thief and slavery associated with diamond's market.”

“You seem like you like jewelry very much,” Cassian noted wistfully and Jyn shrugged.

“I can see the appeal of it but honestly if you need a sparkling rock to know your partner's feelings, it's a bit sad.”

“So what would you like as a sign of affection?” Kes asked, looking meaningfully at Cassian who resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Again Jyn shrugged and looked around her, her brow furrowed. She was avoiding him but she was quite discreet about it.

“Respect of my opinion would be good. Oh, and not meddling without my consent too. Like, you know, just respect me as a person.” She smiled brightly, fake sweetness and all then she went to Draven, Wedge and Kay to organize the rest of their shooting. Cassian wasn't sure whether he wanted to hug her or beat Kes and himself for potentially ruining their relationship before it'd started. Probably both.

---

tellmewhatyoueatofficial Welcome to Antwerp, the city that makes you feel small!! #tellmewhatyoueat #Antwerp #antverpen #anvers #belgium

@CassAndor Why would you choose THAT picture @walkstheskies WHY?!!

@walkstheskies Only because I couldn't get a nice of @jynserso and you ;)

----

Since lunch wasn't a big deal here, like in most Northern Europe, they chose a little deli near the historic center and Jyn stole some fries from Wedge while filming Cassian. He had a cup a stew in his hands and tried to eat without making a mess, which, honestly was quite a feat. His meat wasn't cut small enough to make for one bite only and the sauce was too liquid but somehow, he managed to still look cute. It was weird to see him like that, as if he was another person in front of her camera. The shy man she spent the previous night with had disappeared to leave only a confident journalist with an easy smile she found strangely empty. When Draven called for a cut, she had to check for herself and used her criminal lack of food to approach him.

“Taste any good?”

He chewed quickly and handed her the cup.

“Actually, yes. But don't ask me what it is, 'cause I have absolutely no idea. Don't know the name either, potjives something, I'd say.”

Jyn grabbed the cup and took a full spoon of stew before looking for his fries.

“Did you know Belgian chips are fried twice?” Kay asked right behind her and Jyn nodded along with Cassian. Neither could speak with their mouth full so Kay went on about the nutritional disaster that Belgian chips were and when finally she could speak without being gross, all Jyn could say was, “And I don't know if you've noticed, but beer is cheaper than water. Belgian are truly disrespectful of the basic of human need. Weird they survived this long.”

Cassian chuckled beside her and something in his eyes made her feel hot. She shouldn't be talking about beer in front of him. Not after last night, not ever.

“But they've got good beers and good fries and as long as we don't...” Cassian stopped mid sentence clearly trying to maintain his composure and failing by a mile. “As long as we don't abuse it, we should be okay. And we're here to sample, Kay, but since you stay behind the camera, you don't have to risk anything.”

Then he turned to Jyn and with a bashful smile, asked, “Would you like to try some dessert later, when we're finished? I heard there's good pastry here, or maybe we could find some chocolates?”

For a short time, Jyn didn't catch it and all she could hear was the frenzied beating of her heart. Then she saw Kes' smug smirk and Luke suggested they took lots of pictures, for documentation purpose, of course. She realized then that Cassian was just playing his game to provoke them so she followed his lead and accepted to meet him later. It was weird but she enjoyed spending time with him and by the way Kay sniffed indignantly about how he would be left alone again to visit the Rubens museum, Jyn felt a wave of pride to be preferred to the best friend.

tellmewhatyoueatofficial This is THE place to go if you like shining jewel. They've got everything !! #putaringonit #loverplace #diamond #sparklingrocks

@Dameron_Ks Wow, look at this @sharathebae, won't it be perfect for our lovely couple @CassAndor & @jynserso?

@jynserso Are you really trying to propose on Insta? Dude, that's lame. Even for you.

@walkstheskies Don't be worry, @jynserso, we all know @CassAndor is totally into you. You’ll get one soon!!

---

They found themselves in a nice tearoom called Désiré de Lille, because Jyn couldn't resist when she saw the name earlier and it happened to be a very good choice. The place was cozy and warm, and they served one of the best hot chocolate he ever had with a lot of whipped cream and barely no sugar. Jyn ordered one of their sugared crispy waffle, the same kind she had on the bus, minus the chocolate, and nearly the same she gave him in France and he watched with honest fascination as she licked her finger when some treacle ran onto it.

Cassian was fairly sure they'd passed Kes and Shara at least two times but they'd both pretended they hadn't seen them as they'd tried to be sneaky. Jyn'd had the hardest time to keep from laughing at the very obvious couple in front of some diamond shop but Cassian'd caught her arm and crossed the street to avoid any confrontation. Then, a bit further, near the Grote Markt, Kes and Shara had been reading the outside menu of an Argentinian place just as they'd walked down the street and Cassian'd caught sight of Wedge and Luke smoking in front of a bar. But since no one had acknowledged them, they'd gone their merry way and had fun losing their stalkers.

Jyn was surprisingly good at disappearing in a crowd, even if it was as sparse as it was on a week night in the old center of Antwerp. If Cassian hadn't kept her hand firmly in his, he would have lost her just as easily as she lost their teammates and when he tried to broach the subject, she shrugged.

“I told you I traveled a bit with my guardian when I was a teen. But even then, I was mostly left on my own so I have to pick a trick or two to avoid gross weirdos.”

“And then?”

“Then what?”

“What did you do? You said you traveled as a teen, but after that? Why did you stop?”

He inwardly cursed his lack of subtlety when he saw how tensed Jyn became and without thinking he reached for her hand and squeezed gently her fingers.

“I didn't mean to pry.”

She smiled slowly, the weariness around her eyes softened slightly and she squeezed his fingers back.

“It's okay. It's just... I don't really do anything after, except college and work.” She shrugged again and did that thing where she seemed to shrink in herself, as if trying to disappear. He knew the feeling well and seeing her so clearly uncomfortable with the subject, he didn’t push it. Instead, he grabbed his phone and suggested they order another round of hot cocoa.

“I’ll take a picture for Luke. It’ll look good on Insta.”

“You realize that’ll get them exactly what they want, right?”

Cassian frowned a bit and Jyn added, “Proof we went somewhere together.”

He smirked, quite pleased with her remark.

“Yeah, but they already know that. What they don't is what we're doing and since I’m not one to kiss and tell, they could only wonder and that exactly what I aim for.”

Jyn crossed her arms on the table, leaned toward him and looked at him between her lashes when she whispered, “Oh because now you intend to kiss me? I thought it was just to pretend?”

If it were from anybody else, he probably would have just laugh it off but coming from Jyn, it gave the suggestion a new light and he nearly regretted she was only teasing him. But he too could play this game so he leaned forward and stopped an inch before his nose bump into hers, “Well, I don’t know. I mean, we need to sell it, right?”

She blushed prettily and he was left to wonder if really, it was just a game to get their team of their back by pretending to date. Maybe they really had something here and they were just too busy and too coward to see it and act on it. If he was honest, he'd admit, at least to himself, he liked Jyn. He didn't jump to spend time with her just because a bunch of weirdos set them up. Yes, he found it easier to make them stop by playing along with their game but he couldn't honestly say he totally disliked having to pretend he dated her.

It could quickly became dangerous so he took a step back and smiled more gently. “Don’t worry, though, I know we're here on business and it would be very unprofessional of me to try anything with you. I just don’t like people poking into my business, even if they had the best intentions.”

“I'm still not hearing a no here.”

He knew she was only teasing because her smile was too mischievous to be really flirty and even if her cheek were still a bit red, she was looking at him with her eyebrows raised in a comical fashion, not a seductive one. Nonetheless, he preferred to be honest with her, to avoid any misunderstanding for later. Especially if they kept on doing this charade. Because if he pushed her away now, it'd be easier to avoid anything latter. He truly was a coward.

“Jyn,” he began and suddenly he had her undisturbed attention to the point it could be trouble, “we've met what, two weeks ago?” he paused and when she nodded, he went on, “so it's a little short to really say we know each other, right?”

Again, she nodded and she may have wanted to add something but he didn't let her.

“I'm not saying it couldn't be but I'm not interested in flings, especially on the job.”

Something in her eyes made him drop his gaze because even if it was true, he also knew, deep down, that given the time, he could totally fall for her and her for him and that was exactly why he was doing this. Now wasn't the right time. Not when they were traveling and working every day together with so many people around them. When he heard her deep breath, he found the courage to look up again and was quite relieved to see her smiling.

“Okay, well, I'll need something stronger than chocolate to wash that burn, but let's take your picture before hitting the road. Then we'll find a bar or something so I could forget being rejected in a fake relationship I didn't even ask for.”

She squinted at him before he had the chance to respond and declared in a hushed voice, “Not alcoholic, I swear.” He grinned and waved for a refill of their drink, happy to see her taking it so well and maybe just a bit disappointed she didn't try to convince him they had a chance.

Tellmewhatyoueatofficial The perfect place after a long day in a beautiful city ! #Hotchocolate #waffle #Belgianchocolate #comfortfood #guiltypleasure

@walkstheskies So, this the proof that @jynserso and @CassAndor are on a date... More details later, stay tuned, mates !!

It shouldn't have hurt so much yet Jyn still felt the burn of rejection deep in her bone even though she knew he was right. They barely knew each other. So what, she binge-watched his previous shows and saw him eat weird food? And okay, they had a few moments here and there where they talked but she had no idea what his favorite meal was even though they spent their days surrounded by food.

That was stupid. She was stupid. From the very beginning she knew she didn't stand a chance. He was a very well-known and very seductive journalist and she was just a nobody hired because no one else was available. And yes, she was pretty good at her job but that was beside the point. The point was Cassian had no interest in her and it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. Plus she wasn't that interested either. Or so she was trying to convince herself while ordering a second Kwak and a plate of fries. Cassian was still nursing his Chimay bleue and the look he sent her way was doing stuffs to her that were totally inappropriate, especially now he made it perfectly clear even their charade could easily become too much.

“So,” she began as she plopped herself in the boot beside him, “tell me something about yourself.”

He blinked and she wondered if she was already drunk enough to not make sense.

“What do you want to know?”

She shrugged and looked around her to avoid facing him directly. They were in a local pub with nothing out of the ordinary, a mile away from the nice tearoom they'd left but the beer was good and pretty strong on the alcohol side so she had to be careful and not let herself say too much. She munched on her chips to gain some time and many absorb part of the alcohol she had.

“I dunno, tell me something I should know if we were really on a date and you tried to seduce me. That must be something people do, right?”

He rolled the bottle between his palms, stole some of her fries and Jyn fought the urge to look up. From the corner of her eyes, she saw him chew on his tongue and something coiled in her belly. He really had a nice mouth. A nice mouth that would never be near her because they didn't have this kind of relationship.

“I don't have much experience in the dating area,” he finally said and she nearly dropped her beer.

“Are you kidding me?”

Cassian's eyes were glued to the table and his grip on his bottle didn't seem so playful anymore. When he sighed, Jyn reached for his arm and squeezed gently his biceps.

“It's okay. I don't date either. I'm just surprise because... well,” she made a stupid gesture in his general direction and felt particularly foolish. She took another gulp of her beer, huffed a depreciative laugh and shook her head, “Appearance can truly be deceptive, right?”

His lips quirked up to the right and he caught her eyes for a second before shrugging, “I don't know, I've always felt quite dull outside of work. I mean, you've seen my best friend. He's not exactly the most appealing person yet we've known each other for years and we work well together.”

“But you work well with anyone.” She wanted to say more, to reassure him but the words escaped her.

“As you do. In less than two weeks you've charmed the whole crew, you've been friend with Luke since day two; Shara took maybe three more because she was ill, you've won Mothma with a pastry in France and even Draven is more lenient with you than with anybody else. You're truly a force of nature, Jyn.”

The way he was saying her name was doing things to her. Things she shouldn't be thinking of. Not right now. Not after he explained her he wasn't interested in her. Or was he?

“You're sending mixed signals, here, Cassian.”

Her head was spinning and she blinked owlishly, and of course he caught it because suddenly his arm was wrapped around her waist to steady her against him and he mumbled something in her hair she didn't understand and it was frustrating.

“I think we're both pretty drunk and we should get back.”

“You know, you didn't have to make me drink to get me to snuggle in your arms.”

Okay, she was definitely drunk if she'd said this aloud and the way he chuckled against her, she had. Damn it.

“We've already slept together, Jyn, remember.”

She stumbled a bit when they walked outside but the fresh air of the night helped slowly.

“In a bus. You're not interested, I get it, don't worry.”

Well, the connexion between her brain and her mouth wasn't working properly but she was fairly sure she could walk by herself. She just didn't want to and since he didn't seem to mind having her near him, why bother?

“I like it, having you near,” he said and maybe she'd talked out loud again, “and it's not I'm not interested in you, Jyn.”

Again, he said her name and she shivered because damn.

“I don't know you, I didn't have time. But if you let me...”

“Let you what?” she asked, suddenly stopping in the middle of the road. He was finally looking at her and the coil in her belly tightened even more. God, he was truly beautiful, even drunk. His eyes shined brighter and his lips... he did this thing again with his mouth and she wanted to kiss him.

“I don't want a fling with you. And don't want for either of us to be pressured into anything because some of our teammates got bored and wanted a distraction. I want to know you. Give me time okay?”

His words were whispered nearly on her lips and she felt his nose bump her when she nodded. They walked slowly back to the hotel and by the time they made it to the lobby, Jyn's brain was back to normal. Mostly. Still, in the lift, she asked, “Did you let your suitcase in my room?”

Cassian stilled beside her and she chuckled lightly, “Okay, Don't worry about it, you can take it now. And you could even stay with me to finish selling this all mess if you want.”

She tried to smile and feel confident but it was difficult when he had his perfect mask of indifference on. When the door opened, Jyn was ready to go to her room alone and sleep mortification away but Cassian grabbed her hand and lead her to her room.

---

Their bus for Brussels was supposed to be at eight. Cassian was sure of it because Kay had told him twice before he left him to wander with Jyn. Draven had said so too. Yet, when he arrived in the diner room of the hotel to grab a cup of coffee before leaving, he found no one. At least, none of his crew.

He waited for nearly a quarter of an hour before feeling suspicious and when Jyn arrived, alone, Cassian clenched his fingers on his cup and checked his phone. Maybe he missed something, a text or a call that told him there had been a last minute change.

But no. His phone was deadly silent, not even a notification from any social media. that was highly suspicious.

“Hey!” Jyn greeted with a small smile, “where are the others? We should be getting ready by now, right?”

“I thought so too but I’m trying to think we were stood up.”

She frowned and turned around to look at the room before reaching for her phone too. She tapped a few keys then went for a cup of tea and sat down heavily beside him. Her phone biped and she frowned some more while reading. At least, she had some intel but by the look on her face, it wasn’t promising.

“What?”

Cassian was stressed beyond being polite and somehow, he knew she wouldn’t mind. Actually, she gave him her phone with a sigh, “They already left. Do you want something to eat?”

Cassian blinked once, twice and read Luke’s text over and over, but he didn’t get it.

“Why? What happened?”

Jyn shrugged and grabbed a plate to help herself in the breakfast buffet.

“Remember when Luke told us to take pictures for documentary purpose? I think he convinced Draven to let us wander a bit on our own. There is another fly this afternoon, so if we catch the bus on schedule, we could still make it to Germany by tonight and we have a little less than a day in Brussels. I’m pretty sure I can shoot a few places too.”

She was very flippant about the all ordeal and when Cassian wondered out loud about it, she told him between to mouthful of porridge, “I always wanted to eat a mitraillette - a machine gun. It’s a meatball sandwich you find in Wallonia. And now, I can and it will be documented.” She grinned and he could help but chuckled because of course, she’d think like that.

“So you’re not bothered to be stuck with me?”

“No, why? Are you?”

Cassian shook his head and went to grab a plate too. It would be a weird day but at least, he’d get some time alone with her, and maybe, he’d learn a thing or two. Since she didn’t seem to mind, why would he?

Just so you know, Désiré de Lille is my favorite place in Antwerp even if the waiters are quite rude. Their hot chocolate is the best. And I’m truly sorry I couldn’t get to write out Brussels because it’s probably my seconde favorite place in the world but I couldn’t drag this any longer. Thanks to @crazy-fruit for her patience and comprehension. She’ll tell more about our couple being delayed!!

#rebelcaptain #food travel au #rebel captain food travel au #jyn erso #cassian andor #antwerp #belgium #my fics

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a-robin-among-thorns · 6 years

Text

Too Old For Your Age

Part 2: By Torchlight

Original inspiration post, Part 1

I can’t really call these drabbles anymore since I’ve started playing with an overarching theme and they appear to keep getting longer. Either way, my sincere apologies that this took so long. Life, school and good ole fashioned writes block, you know the song and dance. That said, part 3 WILL be much sooner I promise.

One last thing, Chise is 19 in this story. I put that in context clues in the first part but felt it might be best to state that out right.

Word Count: 3,537

Dinner proceeded without much grandeur, although it felt ever so slightly different sitting right next to Elias.

Feeling somewhat guilty watching Ruth placed alone at the start of dinner, Chise had almost contemplated returning her chair to its original side. That was until a sharp ‘Don’t even think about it.’ flashed through her mind followed by an almost imperceptible smirk from her familiar.

It was supper like any other, vegetable stew, lemon and garlic chicken breast, baked potatoes and all with a generous serving of bread, butter, and honey, but it had been peppered by little pats on her shoulders or fingers occasionally curled around an unoccupied hand. She even found herself settling her palm on his forearm absentmindedly. Until she realized what she was doing and suddenly became very invested in buttering her bread.

‘You keep that up and you’ll end up with an entire stick of butter on there.’

She sighed and resolutely tore a buttered end between her teeth.

Ruth snorted around shoving half of a potato down his gullet. ‘Why is this making you upset? It’s not as if you don’t hold hands and such with him constantly nowadays.’

‘I’m not upset!’ She felt so strangely defensive and she couldn’t fathom why. ‘It’s just…that’s usually, because he started it or he’s upset and I want to make him feel better. Just doing it without a reason... feels greedy.’

‘Why? Elias does it all the time to you just because, and I know you don’t mind. Why do you think he would?’

...that’s different.

Ruth disguised an eye roll with a glance to the counter. ‘If you say so.’

Once supper was finished, Chise helped Silver clear the table and was about to make her way for her evening bath when she came across the party favor bags on the counter. Should she try and come up with something else to do this night? Or would that be too stifling?

‘As shocking as it might sound he does enjoy doing things with you.’ Chise shot Ruth a glare who answered with a scoff.

She let out a small sigh, grabbed her bag and made way for her room.

As her hair dried from her bath, she emptied the contents of the little party favor onto her bed for a better look. The crayons were nowhere to be seen, likely given a more permanent home by Silky. Two Little plastic dinosaurs came from the bag. They were cute, but Chise couldn’t think of anything to do with them. Lastly was the paper book, upon closer inspection; a comic book. It was rather small, apparently, a sample size specifically to be given out at parties. On its cover was a boy in a red and black striped jumper and a black furred animal, both wore mischievous grins.

‘Dennis the Menace and Gnasher...’ She read.

Her mind briefly flashed to a night years ago where once again she had been unable to sleep thanks to an intrusive imp taking residence on her futon. Unaware of her plight, her cousin lay on his belly, a sheet pulled over his head while he read his manga by a flashlight.

Well...he does likes to read before bed anyway.

Her slippers quickly rapped down the stairs before briefly pausing in the foyer adjoining the kitchen and living room. She could hear Silver Lady still rummaging lightly in the kitchen before she slipped in.

“Silver,” Chise called lightly gaining the brownie’s attention, “I was wondering...do we have a torchlight anywhere?”

Silver cupped her chin between her thumb and forefinger in brief thought before putting down the bowl she had been washing and moving toward the counter. With a light hum, she opened a drawer and pulled out a short cylinder, handing it to Chise delicately. It was certainly an old torch, bearing slightly tarnished silver casing and a large convex bulb. Yet Chise always found any ‘modern’ technology housed in the old manor to be amusing and charming.

Chise smiled fondly and hugged the torch to her chest. “Thanks, Silver, I’ll take good care of it.” Silver nodded and returned to her work.

Steeling herself with a quick breath, Chise entered the living room where Elias had retired for the evening in his lounge chair. He was the very picture of a scholarly gentleman, One elbow propped with a lazy grace against the chair arm and his muzzle was buried in a book with a title she couldn’t read. And here she was in her pajamas with a comic book.

She suddenly felt very foolish and tried to retreat when he gazed upward at the soft footfalls of his apprentice. Crap. Caught. He cocked his head curiously, waiting for her to speak.

She sighed. No turning back now. “Elias? Are you doing anything important?”

“Not particularly, why?”

“Well...I was wondering if you’d like to try another childhood activity with me?” She was grateful that both of her hands were filled preventing her far too frequent fidgeting. “It’s not hard and since you usually read before bed I thought you might like it. But you don’t have to if you’d rather not.”

He marked his page and closed the book with a light thump, giving her his full attention. “Of course I’d like to. What are we doing?”

“Um...I thought we could read this comic together before we go to bed.”

“That sounds nice.” He uncrossed his long legs and started for the couch when Chise interjected.

“Actually! I was...um thinking...we could read in your room? There was one other part to this...” she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

“Of course we can. Just let me have a few minutes to change to nightwear.”

He strode up the stairs, leaving Chise in the living room. She could mentally feel Ruth chastising her for being needlessly awkward but chose to ignore it. She followed into his room shortly where Elias sat in his dark blue pajamas on the edge of the bed waiting for her. His dressed down state had a calming effect on her nerves and she smiled a bit more confidently.

“Could you stand for a moment?” He complied.

Grabbing the heavy comforter, she began tugging the blankets, moving to tuck them on the headboard. After the ends of the blankets were successfully curled around the top and bottom of the bed, she took one of Elias’ large pillows and propped the bottom end of the blankets against it. Lastly, she took her own tiny pillow to prop a small opening on the side of the bed. Comic and torch in hand, Chise wiggled into the little doorway she had made that was just big enough for her to crawl through. Settling herself against the headboard, she saw Elias peeking through the entrance looking uncertain but amused. Grinning, she patted the mattress in invitation.

He struggled to maneuver his head through the entrance and almost succeeded before his horn caught on the comforter. The fort came down with a rush of air as Chise yelped. She could hear Elias shaking his head free as she pulled the blankets off. Once untangled, he glanced up at Chise sheepishly, muttering an apology.

“No, its fine, this was a silly idea anyway.” She said with a chuckle.

Elias took one of the blankets in hand, peering thoughtfully.

Nettles in the shadow...False holly in a ring...

The blanket in his hand snaked upward before unraveling and melting into a dome encasing the entire bed. The only light came from Elias’ ember eyes, which gazed at Chise expectantly.

“How is this?”

She smiled, fondly remembering this a similar barrier that had shielded her from storms. “Perfect, we probably should have started with this.”

She clicked the torch on, bathing the two of them in a gentle yellow light. Elias propped his remaining pillow against the headboard before sitting cross-legged against it. He glanced at Chise and patted his thigh. Chise couldn’t help but scoff at his forward yet somehow polite invitation. After she had crawled into his lap, Elias snuggly wrapped his arms around Chise’s waist sneaking in a quick nuzzle to her cheek. Chise liked to fancy herself used to his affection, yet it could still put a nervous flutter in her belly from time to time.

“So what are we reading?” From her seat in his lap, Chise could feel Elias’ every word rumble through her body.

Still gripping the torch in her left hand, Chise arranged the comic book across her knees. Elias dipped his head against her shoulder for a closer vantage. His eye bobbed like a red firefly in his dark socket, first down at the open book then back to Chise.

“I’ve seen this strip before, although I’ve never actually read it.”

“Really?” He nodded lightly so as not to jostle her shoulder.

“It’s been around for over half a century and appears in the newspaper occasionally. Oddly enough, a strip of the same name came out in America around the same time.”

“Huh, how funny.” She wondered to herself how much he knew of America. She had only vague knowledge of the new world but would like to visit if given the chance.

“I hear comics in Japan are laid out a bit differently.” He stated curiously.

She thought for a moment. “They are, most of them are in black and white. And the panels go left to right instead of right to left.”

“Why is that?”

Chise couldn’t help but grin at the unfiltered interest in his voice. Despite the unhappy memories of her homeland, she did still foster a fondness for her culture and enjoyed sharing little bits of it with Elias. Ever eager to learn he always seemed receptive to her little vignettes. He’d even expressed interest in learning Japanese. They had agreed that it would be a venture better suited for winter when they would have a bit more time on their hands while the garden slept.

“Because Japanese is written vertically from right to left. Unlike English which is written horizontally from left to right. So it makes sense that the panels are laid out in the same direction the sentences are read.”

“Ah, and the color?”

“Well, they’re usually written by only one person and the come out pretty often. Black and white makes it quicker to do and less expensive.” She had seen a few American comics in libraries and was awestruck by the expanse of color.

“Did you ever read them as a child?”

“Once or twice. I liked Doraemon.” Although she was a tad uncomfortable with how closely she resembled the bumbling boy Nobita.

“Let’s buy a copy next time we’re out then.”

She shifted a bit to fit more comfortably against Elias, who fully settled his large head against her shoulder, and began to read the thin book out loud. Despite her best efforts, reading English was something Chise still struggled with from time to time. But she had found reading out loud with Elias occasionally to be handy practice for not only for reading but her pronunciation as well. Tonight she put a little extra effort in making the words on the page lively through dramatic flourish and character voices. The comic was colorful with expressive silly art. Its humor was a bit on the crude boyish side, but she found herself smiling at the troublemaking antics. Elias even uttered a chuckle at the ornery boy sawing a table in half because he was bored.

About five minutes in, a very large, and obvious in hindsight, a flaw in the plan presented itself. The book was a collection of short strips, reminding her somewhat of 4-koma manga, and was, overall, about ten pages long. Even with both of the sample comics from both her and Elias’ bags, the pages had been read from cover to cover and it wasn’t even ten o’clock yet. She placed the thin pages on her lap in defeat.

“That was...really short. Sorry, I should have waited till I had a longer one.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He paused in thought for a moment. “May I make a suggestion?”

“Of course.”

He withdrew his right hand, with very noticeable reluctance, and traced a rectangle in the air with his forefinger. He stuck his hand through the shape he had made and quickly retracted bringing a tan book in tow. Chise took it in her hands as he lowered it to her lap. On the cover were illustrations in green ink of a man and woman in Victorian garb surrounded by three children in nightgowns and a large dog wearing a floppy bonnet sitting between them. On the left of the title stood a man in a long coat and hat sneering down at the children. On the right, a girl with feathers in her hair held a hatchet. Resting on the title with his arms draped over it lazily, a boy with an almost fae-like disposition in his features smiled at the scene below.

“Peter and Wendy by J.M. Barrie.” Chise read with intrigue.

Elias’ chin bobbed slightly against her shoulder as he resettled his arm around her waist. “You might also know it as ‘Peter Pan’. It is my understanding that this story was first a stage play later transcribed into a novel.”

“There’s a film based on it too. I think I saw a bit of it once in a daycare.” She turned the book over, feeling the slightly cracked spine and edges against the pads of her fingers.

“Is this an original copy?”

“Yes, I received it as payment from a colleague in London about a century ago, when it was still new. Silver likes to have up and coming literature on the living room shelves when the chance arrives.”

Ah, so those were Silver’s collection. Chise had thought it a little odd that Elias had taken to collecting poetry and fiction for decoration in the main room. Although she often found him leafing through the pages when there were no matters or orders pressing on their necks. He may not have started the collection but he appeared to appreciate it.

“Have you read it before?”

“I’ve skimmed the pages but not thoroughly. There are many like it in the living room, but I had heard it was undignified for grown humans to indulge in stories for children.”

She often had to remind herself that despite the confidence in which he went about his actions, Elias was very worried about how he appeared to others. Much like she was. “Did that bother you, being seen as undignified I mean?”

He was silent for a moment, as he often was when he searched for words to give meaning to the uncertainty floating in his chest.

“I suppose it did at the time. I was- what did you call it? Self-conscious about how I was viewed. I didn’t want to give anyone any more reason to stare at me than they already did. But over time I came to realize that people with preformed opinions would think what they would regardless of what I did, so I might as well do as I pleased.”

Chise considered this. She had dealt with preformed opinions as long as she could remember but her approach had always been to be as subservient as possible in hope that she would at least be tolerated. The idea that she didn’t owe some kind of apology for taking up space or causing trouble was still one she was unused to. That she could live in and act in any such way simply because she wanted to.

“That said,” She was pulled out of her brief contemplation by Elias readjusting his position against the pillow “this is one indulgence hadn’t considered revisiting in quite some time. I’m rather eager to find out what it holds.”

Smiling, Chise leaned her cheek against the row of sharp teeth lining Elias’ jaw. Elias’ appreciative hum rumbled through her back and shoulders as he returned the gesture.

“Let’s find out then.”

They decided it would be best to trade off reading, Chise taking the job as narrator and any female characters while Elias took the rest. Chise had a little trouble with the slightly outdated English diction, but Elias was patient in explaining anything unclear to her. Before long they were engrossed in the tale of the boy who refused to grow up.

Chise enjoyed the quaint attitude the book had toward its outlandish whimsy. She laughed a bit at the scene of Wendy recovering from a bullet while a house was built around her, saying it reminded her of her long rest before meeting Titania and Oberon. Elias mentioned the several cases where the book’s depiction of magic to be intriguing particularly the gold pixie dust. He said that might explain why he had heard tell of aerials insisting to human children that they could fly if they just grasped a bit of the light they left as they flew.

They hadn’t planned on finishing the novella in its entirety that night, yet at some time near three in the morning, Chise closed the book without needing to mark it. She rubbed her eyes with her palm a taking a long yawn. She muttered pardon me around her droopy eyes before noticing the Elias had stiffened in his crisscross position, no longer resting his head on her shoulder but staring out at nothing.

“Elias, is something wrong? Did you like the story?”

“Nothing is...wrong and I liked it...except maybe the ending?” The question in his tone seemed aimed at himself rather than anyone listening.

Chise shifted, setting aside the torch and book so she could hold his hand as she settled against his chest. His free hand found her shoulder, rubbing it absently as he stretched out into a more comfortable position that they could fall asleep in. Chise felt the pent-up tension in his frame ease just a bit.

“What didn’t you like?”

“When Wendy and the lost boys returned to London but Peter chose to stay in Neverland, I felt uneasy. And then again when he returned years later and felt betrayed that Wendy had grown and married even though he had been given every chance to stay with her. It felt...familiar but in an uncomfortable way.”

Chise drew another yawn trying to fight the fluttering in her eyes.

“I don’t know if there’s a specific name for that feeling, empathy? Nostalgia maybe?” She shrugged “but I think you saw a bit of yourself in Peter and what he ended up doing felt scary because it felt like something you have done or might do?” What a shameful teacher she was! Elias was being open and honest while she couldn’t keep her eyes open!

He hummed. “That might be it.” He said flatly.

He was very scared to admit it, but in addition to what he had confessed to Chise, there had been one scene in particular that sent ice down his spine. When Peter had flown ahead to London, trying to bar the window and prevent Wendy from leaving Elias had thought of how he had almost lost the love of his bride through no fault but his own. He had very nearly been the boy flying at the window sill, watching in hurt and betrayal as his Wendy formed a life without him.

He gripped her shoulder a bit tighter.

“In some ways you are a bit like Peter, unstuck in time I mean.” Her blinks we’re getting much longer as she continued. “But Peter refused to grow up, even when given the chance. You really don’t give yourself enough credit sometimes.” She was rambling a bit, her words considerably less guarded in her half asleep state. “Anytime you do something wrong you always admit it and I’ve seen you grow from it. Even this, I mean yeah we’re technically indulging in childhood but not because we don’t want to grow up. But because growing up too soon took childhood from us and kept us from growing properly.” Elias noticed that Chise was including herself in this observation and wondered at it. Perhaps it was simple drowsiness. But perhaps not.

Chise rested her cheek against his chest, “We’re not in Neverland anymore.” Her weight went slack against him as her eyes sealed shut like a flower closing its bloom.

Elias quietly watched her shoulders rise and fall as light snores whistled through her loosely parted lips. He wasn’t sure he understood everything she had meant, or if Chise had even understood while sleep was setting in her, but felt comforted by her easy assurance. If she thought he was different from Peter Pan, he would believe her. He had learned that her intuition was right far more often than it was wrong.

He released the spell holding the quilted dome overhead and it floated on top of them before wrapping them up in warmth. Something caught his eye on the right of the bed and he shifted carefully to grasp it.

Elias was very quiet, except for the occasional chuckle, so as not to wake his Chise while he thumbed through the comic one more time before bed.

#the ancient magus bride #mahou tsukai no yome #mahoutsukai no yome #elias ainsworth #chise hatori #elias x chise #chise x elias #robinthorn #fan fiction #fan fic #stormy writes #too old for your age #Evidently I can't just write simple fluff I have to inject feels into everything blah!#this one is kinda all over the place so I hope it comes across as coherent

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luisaaronopez · 6 years

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The students started gathering fruit for their dinner. They had fun tossing the fruits in a basket made of leaves. Thomas is still having trouble trying to cut down at least one fruit from the tree. He's throwing his sword at the fruit, hoping to knock one down. "This is impossible." Thomas sighed in disappointment. Angel sees Thomas' sad face. She walks over to him. "Hey Thomas, I'll help you knock doen a couple of fruit." Angel said while slapping Thomas' back lightly. "Oh Angel! I didn't see you there. And I do need some help." Thomas said in a slightly desperate tone. "First thing you gotta do is look for a thin branch that has fruit hanging on it, once you find one, its not the fruit you need to hit, its the branch. It works wonders." Angel motivated Thomas. Thomas looked for a thin branch with fruit. He found one but was nervous. He looked at Angel, she nodded to him. Thomas took a deep breath and threw his sword at the branch. The sword actually chopped the branch and fell to the ground. Angel giggled "Not what I expected but hey, at least you brought 5 extra fruits. You did great!" Angel congratulated Thomas while lightly punched his shoulder. Thomas rubbed his shoulder as Angel left. He stared at the broken branch he chopped down with a sincere smile. As everyone was ready to cook the fruit, a voice said "Boring." Everyone turned their heads, it was Venus and Jeff. "Fruits? Pa-lease, fruits aren't gonna do you any good in a savage jungle like this." Venus said in a mocking tone. "B-b-b-but Venus, fr-fruits a-are good f-for you." Jeff stuttered. "Jeffy, this is a jungle of savage beasts. Meat is often the main course here." Venus said with a devious grin. "But if fruits exist here, that means there should be herbivores here too." Mi kindly said. "I'm not a picky eater. I'll eat anything from slugs, cockroaches, algae, and metal." Doll randomly shouts. Everyone looks at her. "Its part of my nature." Doll whispers in embarrassment. "Anyway, the fruit is almost done. Who wants to try some?" Mi asked everyone. "C-can I have s-some?" Jeff asked. Venus stepped in front of Jeff and crossed her arms. "Hmph, Jeff. I'm surprised you wanna eat fruit. Especially with them." "Well...they're not done yet, these taste much better if they're cooked." Mi said in a sheepish tone. "Oh no, I'm not helping ya'll cook that baby food. I'd rather eat slugs and roaches than eat fruit. Even though I never had any in my life but I am NOT eating fruit." Venus said as she turned her head away. "Wait... you've never eaten fruit?" Angel asks Venus. "Mind your own business okay?" Venus snarled. "OOOOH! You're missing out, now is the time to try it." Angel shouts. Everyone agrees. "Twy it! Twy it! Twy it!" Blossom chants. This was too much for Venus that she snapped. "WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK!?" Venus shouts so hard that she summoned her fire powers. The flames burned the branch that Thomas chopped down and started a campfire. "Thank you Venus." Mi giggled. "HEY! That wasn't fair!" Venus whined. "It wasn't but you weren't exactly fair either." Doll corrected Venus. Venus couldn't argue no more, she just crossed her arms and looked away. "You're welcome then." Venus mumbled. As they were having their dinner, Jeff stopped and looked around. Angel sees the worried look on his face. "What is it Jeff?" Angel asked. "W-we're n-not a-alone..." Jeff trembled. "Jeffy, there's nothing living here. The thing about meaters, I made all that up so we didn't have to eat fruit. Its just you, me.....and everyone else." Venus tried to reassure Jeff. "Hey look more students!" Doll shouts as she points at the strange figures hidden in the bushes. "M-m-more st-students?" Jeff stutters. The students all stand up. The figures emerged from the bushes. "Aww, cute kitty monkeys!" Blossom squealed at the sight of the creatures and wants to hug them. Blossom got close to them. One jumped out of the bushes and was ready to pounce on her. Then a black panther came out of nowhere and pinned the creature to the ground. "Aaron! Take Blossom to safety, we'll take on these things!" Angel commanded. Blossom hopped on the panthers back and he jumped into the trees. "Why are all animals named Aaron?" Venus asked Angel. "Its a cool name!" Angel says as she's pulling out her bow and arrow. Then the predators came out of the bushes. They were led by a bigger and bulkier predator with a scar in its eye. "That must be their alpha." Angel whispered. "Wow! These must be a rare subspecies of a bobcat." Thomas said as he's getting his sketchbook. "For crying out loud! Put that away and get your sword!" Venus yells at Thomas. "Oh, oh, right, right!" Thomas blushes as he pulls out his sword. The predator alpha slowly creeps towards the students. The students are preparing for the attack. Then the alpha screeches. Everyone covered their ear due to how ear piercing it sounded. Then a bunch of predators jumped out from the trees. "Its an ambush!" Mi shouts Angel summoned arrows to appear and shot them at each predator. But some were hard to hit since they keep hiding in the trees. Mi could use her sun powers but its night time so she really has to use her katana. Doll however uses the moons power for her telekenisis. She summoned small crescent moons and slashed each predator. Jeff was so scared that he was shooting all over the place with his Bolty Gun. Sadly he still missed. The predators were about to pounce him from above the trees. Venus shot fireballs at the predators to prevent them from harming Jeff. The predators yelped in pain. Venus wrapped her arm around Jeff and said "We make a good team don't we?" "If y-you s-say so." Jeff blushes. Thomas was fighting only one predator. He just kept swinging his sword around. He finally caused damage to the predator and it fell to the ground. Thomas smiled in satisfaction. But the predator quickly got back on its feet and grinned as if it were taunting Thomas. Angel was having a fight with the alpha. Angel has ran out of arrows. She tossed her bow to Thomas and says "Hold this for me, I'm gonna wrestle this predator!" "You are insane!" Doll shouts "Thank you!" Angel said with a mischievous grin. The predator alpha was impatient. Its hunger was getting worse and Angel was looking tasty to it. Angel jumped on the predator and wrestled it. The predator alpha lunged at her. It swiped its claws on Angel's arm. The other students cringed at the sight of Angel's scratch marks. Angel can no longer wrestle, now that she can only use one arm. Angel sees one of her arrows on the ground and tries to get it. The predator alpha landed on top of Angel, preventing her to grab the arrow. Thomas knew what Angel was planning. He ran towards the arrow. Then the smaller predators chased after Thomas. The other ran beside him to keep the other predators away. "Thanks everyone!" Thomas said. "Anything for a brave knight." Mi said with a smile. Thomas got to the arrow and shouts "Quick Angel! Catch!" Thomas throws the arrow to Angel. Angel caught the arrow and started stabbing the predator with it. The predator alpha made one last screech until it collasped. The other predators all fled in fear now that they have no leader. Everyone was exhausted from the fight. Angel walked over to Thomas and says "Thanks Thomas." "Its no biggie, you helped me earlier. Its the least I can do." Thomas blushed. "Already, I was expecting a longer battle." Doll said in a disappointed tone. Everyone looks at her again. "I truly apologize, its just that I was expecting more." Doll says like if the fight was too anticlimatic "Duh, this is supposed to be easy. Its the first challenge after all." Venus said in a rude tone. "Oh yeah...why did you help us anyway Venus. It seems that you DO wanna hang out with us." Mi said with a mischievous look on her face. "I fought with you guys because I was bored okay. Lord Maurice rarely has any fun things to do on the cheap island. I'm so leaving now. Come on Jeffy dear." Venus said while dragging Jeff. "Its b-been f-f-fun guys, I h-hope we s-see you s-soon!" Jeff said while waving. As Venus and Jeff disappear. Angel says to everyone "Now that we completed this challenge, we should go get some sleep." "I agree." Thomas nods. And so the students head to the fortress to go get some sleep because the next day, they'll need the energy for their next challenge.

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