#halloween heist ranking
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do you have a favorite sciencey topic? if so tell me all about it! or if it's something not sciency that's cool too (if i got to rant you get to rant lol)
well it's not science at all but i will now be presenting my ranking of the halloween heists from brooklyn 99 (so spoilers for the whole series i guess)
Okay so I love all of them but I least beloved would be season 3. I think it's totally in character and a good heist but I don't find it quite as fun as the others. I do adore Amy's lipreading, though, and I think the way Hitchcock was involved was very fun because on the first watchthrough you can kind of tell that Hitchcock is lying when he opens the blinds, but then you'd assume that he was really trying to win for himself. One of the things that makes me love this episode a little less is how Jake comes off - which of course he acknowledges and it's not like he does it again, but I kind of hate that expression Amy gets like "why is he like this" when Jake does something immature which makes me wish we could see more of how Amy fell in love with him and how his immaturity turned from obnoxious to, well, however she sees it in the later seasons. I'm not sure because we don't have much insight on that.
Next up is season 2. Again, it's a great episode but it just doesn't quite give me that happy chemical. Part of this is because this was back when the heist was only between Holt and Jake, and then they'd just have to recruit the others for them, which isn't as fun as a free for all. Also the later seasons are just naturally more fun and exiting because of all the recurring characters and how many twists and turns you know to expect.
Then season 1. It's iconic because it's the first heist, but it's also just so fun. I love how since it's the first one you didn't know what to expect so you had no way of knowing that Jake knew what he was doing pretty much the entire time. I love how Jake assumed that Holt used one passcode for everything because of his age and Holt just kinda looked upwards and said "That would be an .. astute assumption" I love how shocked Holt is and how you can tell this is going to be an event every season. However, with it being the first one come the absence of later beloved recurring heist characters and twists and team ups.
Season 4 was very fun. I love how they thought it was Terry the whole time, I love how Gina planned the whole thing around the fact that no one knew she had false front teeth, I love that it's been going on just long enough now that you can tell there's something fishy about Gina just being out so soon. And this is Bill's first appearance, always a win. As you can see I do very much like this one but it just doesn't quite measure up in my head.
Season 8 cannot be blamed for not being top of this list. It had so much pressure riding on it as the very end of the series, it was never gonna do every single thing perfectly. But damn did it do well. Terry crashing through the wall like the kool aid man, Gina's surprise reveals, the fact that it's a two parter. And of course the very end, when they all had emotional conversations in the bullpen was the saddest/best thing ever. Holt saying that if he'd had a son and he'd turned out like Jake he'd be very proud is just the cutest. Rosa and Amy, the sleuth sisters, had an awesome talk, and of course that final shot of Jake smiling from the elevator warms and breaks my heart at the same time. But, like I said before, it can't help but leave you feeling a bit empty. Because you're never gonna see another heist.
Season 5's heist has the best twist ever and I love it so much. I love the cumberbund, I love the way the proposal plays out, I love how Jake and Amy look at eachother, I love how Cheddar was sent to get the cumberbund as Holt lifted the huge box thing up using a pulley system from his office but then it wasn't Cheddar - it was just some common bitch! Somehow, however, this one is still beat by
Season 7. I think it's kind of obvious why I like this one so much - Rosa wins. But there's also the fact that it was attempted thrice and she secretly won all three times, and the fact that it opens with people running around in easter bunny suits completely unexplained. I love Rosa. I love that she wrote her name in fire. I love the infinity gauntlet aspect.
But season 6 must be my ultimate favorite. It's just so fun. The fact that Terry is covered in gold almost the entire time, the band, the fact that it takes place in may instead of on halloween because of an accident that turned out to actually have been faked by Terry. The fact that Cheddar's toy is replaced like three times, the fact that Jake and Amy both literally bought taser presents for each other somehow? Like they both separately planned that and found those presents somehow. I love that Rosa just fucking taped Charles in a box and shipped him off?? I love Terry's dancing when he wins, and I love that by the end Kevin had come around to the heists.
#b99#brooklyn 99#halloween heist ranking#lol#bee :)#creature is normal#creature being normal about characters#creature origins#creature fandom origins
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hi! and congratulations on having watched the new movie :) i'm curious, what are your top favorite dcmk movies and where would 27 rank?
HI! Thanks 🤗✨ and that is a difficult question 😅 hmm I will do a top 10!
So let's start!
1. Movie 27 “the million dollar pentagram”
Well after watching the movie it just moved right up the list, I just had to see Aoko there and it automatically became the best movie ever! Hahaha well it is a bit true, but the main reason is that the movie is entertaining, it had me giggling and shocked and then it had action and a bit of angst, it just worked so well I loved it!
2. Movie 19 “Sunflowers of inferno”
To be honest I would put these 3 movies as my seconds( 19, 26, 22), I really liked them so much, but I'm a huge Vincent van Gogh fan! I have been painting replicas of his works (not in an illegal way? Just painting for school projects, for me and gifts) since I was in middle school and when you combine my love for Kid and My love For art well… yeah it takes the cake 😅
3.Movie 22 “Zero the enforcer”
I had a hard time placing 22 and 26 i just find these are the best movies objectively speaking, they had a lot of action and are very quick movies, like there is always something happening and get your attention from start to finish, now 27 has that too and its why it jumped right above all XD. Now this one takes 3rd place because i just watch it more often, like when i travel or im bored and want to watch something exiting this is my go to movie along with movie 4 thats the only reason its above 26
4. Movie 26 “Black iron submarine”
As i said above this might as well be my second favorite as well, is a very well constructed movie, when I showed it to my family I actually said “this might be the best Conan movie in existence” to which my sister answered “because of Kaito Kid?” and when I said he didn't appear on it she actually felt curious enough to watch it and liked it. I really like the way things unfolded, had me focused the whole time and enjoyed it a lot.
5. Movie 4 “Captured in her eyes”
One of the best movies in my opinion! It has that quick peace that I like in movies and I just find it so beautiful!
6. Movie 14 “The lost ship in the sky”
This is other of my go to movies, it has that weird combination between action and humor that I love and I just loved the team work between Kaito and Conan
7. Movie 23 “The fist of the blue Sapphire”
It was a good movie! Don't get me wrong, I feel I should love it more, not that I don’t, is just it's not one of those movies I would seek to lift my spirits but the one I would watch to see just how cool Kid is and inspire me to write something😅
8. Movie 25 “The bride of Halloween”
I think the main reason this is even on the top 10 is because of Furuya Rei, I liked it a lot! Like most of the movies of DetCo but it lacked the sparkle? Idk I feel like I saw what was coming from the beginning but it was enjoyable. I loved the scenes of his past and Takagi acting like Matsuda 👌🏻✨
9. Movie 3 “The last wizard of the century”
It's just a classic you know? Like the whole story was entertaining, how Kid blew up a fucking power central just to find where the eggwas? the attempting murder on Kid, how he later saved Shinichi’s ass? It was glorious I really liked it but not as the ones up
10. Movie 20 “The darkest nightmare”
It's a great movie! I'm putting it down here because it made me love a character and then took it away from me so quickly that it makes me emotional when I watch it 😭😂✨
Wellp thats my top 10 is obviously based on my personal preferences and i tend to like the movies where Kid appears because it ads a bit to the comical area and the action (I have always loved movies with heists and thievery (not only kid and lupin the 3 ones)) so yep I hope you guys like this and i’ll be delighted to read your top 10 as well!
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what’s ur d20 campaign rankings as of rn !
okay i wrote this in the break room so it's not legally binding and is subject to change but i THINK my ranking (with miniature explanations) is this:
1. a crown of candy - need i say more? truly iconic. truly tragic. everything i look for in dnd. haunts me to this day
2. fantasy high - it's so much fun. it's the og. it's the reason for my url. it introduced ayda aguefort to the world. really that's all that needs to be said
3. the seven - i fucking LOVED the seven so so so much. maybe my favourite crew of PCs in all the seasons ever
4. coffin run - coffin run doesn't get a lot of love but i am suchhhh a halloween vibes bitch it was truly impeccable. i LOVED jasmine as the dm and everyone's characters
5. mice and murder - i also love whodunnits. this dynamic of players was also hilarious and it being most peoples first time playing like made it even better
6. the unsleeping city - had a lot of cool arcs had a lot of cool characters weirdly i was just not very compelled by it? but undoubtedly hilarious and had really cool battles
7. starstruck - had some of the most iconic PCs in d20 history but then in the same party some i literally did not care for at all. had some incredible moments i still think about
8. neverafter - i liked this! just never Loved it, you know?
9. bloodkeep - second season of d20 i watched ever. where my love for rehka shankar began
10. misfits and magic - aabria is SUCH an incredible dm but some PCs didn't get as much attention as others and i definitely noticed lol
11. ravening war - i really thought i would be obsessed with this but i actually still haven't finished the last two eps. BUT what i did see i really enjoyed and the battles were great
12. a court of fey and flowers - ALSO never finished im sorry guys high society is not really my thing but some dynamics were so cool to see and explore
13. shriek week - DID finish this it was good but like. not long lasting in my mind
14. tiny heist - ALSO didn't finish this sorryyyy it was just never my vibe
15. pirates of leviathan - never even started this which is a tragedy in and of itself
#anon i don't know if you wanted this much info but here it all is#everyone feel free to respond and discuss and add your own opinions#or send more asks if you want in-depth thoughts and feelings#but this is where i stand as of late#and i didn't rank dnd and drag queens cause it's not finished yet#dimension 20#ask
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'Breaking into Hollywood stardom in the early 2000s, Josh Hartnett fast became a teenage idol through his early work and was fast-tracked to become the next best thing. Initially disillusioned with the celebrity lifestyle, though, he turned down many starring roles in major movies and even resorted to taking a lengthy hiatus from the industry not to lose his passion for acting entirely.
While fans of Hartnett from his earliest roles may lament the lost possibility of what could have been, his carefully selected career trajectory has seen him feature in some bizarre but brilliant films. With Oppenheimer seeing the much-loved movie star back on the big screen in front of mainstream audiences, these 10 films present as the best of a stellar career that may be just hitting its peak.
10. 'O' (2001)
Taking Shakespeare’s classic play Othello and applying it to the basketball scene of a modern American high school, O was an experimental teen drama that was always intriguing despite having some flaws. It focuses on local basketball star Odin (Mekhi Phifer), who is convinced of his girlfriend’s cheating by a conniving friend motivated by jealousy.
While the premise seems difficult to take seriously, O actually produced some genuinely good dramatic moments, and its approach to teenage violence was strikingly mature. It also struck gold in casting Hartnett as the envious villain, allowing him to display his acting chops as a complicated character that was both despicable and entirely believable.
9. 'Wrath of Man' (2021)
A gritty action delight noteworthy for reuniting Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham, Wrath of Man offered intense thrills and a winding story to boot. It follows H (Statham), a mysterious new employee at Fortico Security whose exemplary combat skills prevent a heist and lead his colleagues to question the man and his sketchy past.
With elements of one-man-army action, heist thrills, and even revenge drama, the movie offered up something for all action lovers to enjoy. It also featured Josh Hartnett, who stood out among the star-studded cast with his enjoyably unheroic turn as a fellow Fortico Security guard who gradually finds his courage.
8. '30 Days of Night' (2007)
Based on the comic book miniseries of the same name, 30 Days of Night was a pulsating mixture of blood-and-guts horror and thrilling action. It follows the residents of a remote Alaskan town who struggle to survive a month of no sunlight when a mob of vampires descends upon them, killing most of the townsfolk immediately and leaving the rest in a desperate fight for their lives.
An amalgamation of horror subgenres doused in more than enough gore to keep the genre’s most eager fans satisfied; it kept finding new ways to be intriguing throughout its duration, even with its simple premise. While Danny Huston’s villainous performance received plenty of praise, the film also served as an adequate reminder of Josh Hartnett’s natural ability in leading roles.
7. 'Oh Lucy!' (2017)
An overlooked gem of modern Asian cinema, Oh Lucy! was a dazzling hit of empathetic, tragic fun which blended romance with adventure. The film follows Setsuko (Shinobu Terajima), a lonely office worker in Tokyo who develops a crush on her English teacher and ventures to America to follow him when he abruptly leaves.
The film grounded itself in universal themes, which it explored in quirky yet strikingly honest ways, with the entire cast putting in outstanding and nuanced performances to make it work. It also wasn’t afraid to get quite dark, making for a heartbreaking tragicomedy that thrived off the back of Terajima’s brilliance and used Hartnett’s comedic talent perfectly.
6. 'The Faculty' (1998)
After making his debut in one of the forgettable installments of the Halloween franchise, Josh Hartnett got more opportunities to showcase his potential in the sci-fi/horror The Faculty. From director Robert Rodriguez, it follows a misfit group of high school students who discover their classmates and teachers have been overtaken by parasitic aliens and cook up an unlikely plan to save everyone.
In addition to its overt sci-fi/horror premise, The Faculty also ran with an affectionate focus on teen drama and high school politics, themes brought to life by the film’s surprisingly fantastic cast. Hartnett portrayed Zeke Tyler, an intelligent though problematic youth who holds the answer to defeating the alien race in his drug-dealing antics.
5. 'Lucky Number Slevin' (2006)
A fascinating example of differing opinions, critics were harsh on Lucky Number Slevin, but casual moviegoers loved it. The action crime-thriller follows a wrongly apprehended man. He is dragged into a vicious feud between two rival crime lords, where he is given a violent ultimatum and is tailed by two men as he frantically decides what he’ll do next.
Using an outstanding cast boasting the likes of Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, and Ben Kingsley alongside Hartnett in the starring role, the movie presented as a fun-filled action spectacle. It also utilized a twisty story, heavily stylized characters, and eye-catching set design to make a lasting impression on audiences.
4. 'The Virgin Suicides' (1999)
For much of the early part of his career, Josh Hartnett was considered a heartthrob. It is easy to see how his role in The Virgin Suicides may be a big reason for that. As Sofia Coppola’s directorial debut, it focuses on five sheltered teenage sisters in 1970s America and the neighborhood boys who grow obsessed with them.
Based on Jeffrey Eugenides novel of the same name, the film uses the boys’ reminiscing of their younger days as the framework for the premise, allowing the film to take on a hypnotic, dreamlike meditation of adolescent angst. In what was just his third feature film credit, Hartnett was able to make the part of the young Trip Fontaine a memorable highlight of his career.
3. 'Sin City' (2005)
With its striking stylistic choices, graphic yet cartoonish violence, and forbidden allure, Sin City was a barnstorming, flamboyant dose of comic book ultra-violence. It follows a range of shady characters as they go about their business in the cesspool that is Sin City, with everything from vigilante cops to ex-prostitutes and their lovers getting their time to shine.
Within the chaos, Hartnett appeared as The Salesman — aka The Man or The Colonel — a slick assassin who is hired by a woman who wants to kill herself. His small, condensed story of passion and violence proved to be a perfect introduction to the film, highlighting its neo-noir tone, arresting style, and penchant for jarring and abrupt violence.
2. 'Black Hawk Down' (2001)
Based on real events, Ridley Scott’s grueling yet gripping modern war drama presented a horrifying depiction of combat. Following the American Special Forces units who were sent into Mogadishu to capture two lieutenants of a violent warlord, it shows how the mission went wrong as the soldiers were overrun and two of their Black Hawk helicopters were shot down.
While it was somewhat limited in scope and perspective, Black Hawk Down was incredibly effective as a no-holds-barred nosedive into combat's graphic intensity and abruptness. Hartnett was more than comfortable in the starring role, leading a stellar ensemble cast with aplomb.
1. 'Oppenheimer' (2023)
Oppenheimer should go on to become one of the biggest films of 2023. A commercial smash hit and a critically acclaimed masterpiece from Christopher Nolan, the film follows J. Robert Oppenheimer’s (Cillian Murphy) work on developing the atomic bomb and the political fallout that came as a result of that and his leftist leanings.
Among the many great delights the film offered, one that made many fans happy was seeing Hartnett back on the big screen in a major blockbuster. His supporting role was also quite significant, portraying the Nobel Prize-winning nuclear physicist and Oppenheimer’s colleague Ernest Lawrence, which gave him ample opportunity to showcase his acting talents.'
#O#Oppenheimer#Sin City#Black Hawk Down#Ernest Lawrence#Christopher Nolan#Cillian Murphy#Wrath of Man#30 Days of Night#Oh Lucy!#The Faculty#The Virgin Suicides#Lucky Number Slevin#Josh Hartnett
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Every Brooklyn Nine-Nine Halloween Heist Episode, Ranked
Every Brooklyn Nine-Nine Halloween Heist Episode, Ranked
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Though Brooklyn Nine-Nine has ended its run, the famous Halloween episodes are something that fans will look back on fondly year-after-year. They are action-packed, cleverly written, filled with surprises, and of course, hilarious. And with the show now complete, fans can look back at every single one of the Halloween episodes, revisiting their favorites and enjoying some…
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Demon MC with Human Obey Me Brothers Reverse AU
Okay but what if the brothers were all ‘normal’ humans who ended up summoning a demon, who is MC.
I’m in love with this idea. Lowkey might write a fic about this jk...unless? Levi’s was surprisingly the most fun to write. Also I guess tw for normal demon things??? Nothing too graphic tho
Part 2
Lucifer
As a human he was a high ranking businessman. While still a formal person on the outside he had a perverse interest in the occult that he hid from the rest of his coworkers.
Due to his important position and large pay he manages to get his hands on some rare books on demon summoning. After a lot of research he tries them out.
When he summons you he doesn't look surprised or afraid and is quite clinical about it at first. The first thing he does is bind your powers so they can never be used against him. After he informs the rules you must follow if you're to be living with him.
Even as a human he is quite prideful and controlling and he wants to remind you who's really in charge.
At first he only sees you as a demon. He lets you do your own thing when he isn't ordering you around and when the two of you do go out in public he only introduces you as an acquaintance of his. People are rather surprised at this as he's not the type to walk around with others and rumors quickly fly off about you two.
It's not until you two are walking home from a shopping trip that you really start to bond. It was a late night and no one was around so the two of you take your time, enjoying the cool air and stars.
All too late that you hear the click of a gun. From the shadows steps a man, weapon pointed straight at you. Seeing your nonthreatening human form as well as Lucifer who practically reeks of wealth he thought the two of you easy targets. Wrong.
With inhuman speed you lunge forward shifting into your demon form. The gun clatters to the floor as you rip him to shreds with no remorse. It's only when Lucifer finally calls you away that you realize he's dead.
Once you manage to get home he is immediately lecturing you about how risky the actions you just did were. Someone could have seen you or more importantly seen him. What would you have done if the cops got involved? Eat them?
Once he's done though he thanks you and a few days later a gift ends up in your room. He never claims it, even though you can smell his cologne all over it.
After that night Lucifer treats you different. Not better, but not worse either. If anything he's a bit kinder but in a cold sort of way and he keeps his distance when anything gets too serious. At first you think its because he's scared of you. It isn't till he finally approaches you, a stern look on his face and orders you to transform that you realize he was working up the courage to see what you really looked like.
The pact urges you to turn, so you do and you let him examine you, circling several times. He's most interested in your wings, asking if he could touch them and when you consent he gently runs his hands over them. Despite you being a demon he treats you delicately shifting aside feathers with a careful hand and running a light fingertip over leathery skin.
It's a strange feeling at first, but not bad and you're practically purring by the end
After that he asks to see your true form more and more
Mammon
He didn't mean to summon you.
He just wanted to make a quick buck. It was getting close to Halloween people were starting to be interested in demons and spooks once again. That's why he thought it would be a great idea to start a seance business.
Twenty dollars for him to pretend to summon a demon, maybe shake a table once or twice, have some scary sounds playing in the background, nothing too big. Who would have known that the book he stole as his main prop would really work.
When he first sees you he screams.
He immediately tries to shove you back into the book to no avail. As he has no clue how to get rid of you he ends up stuck with you, a terrifying demon.
At first its very easy (and amusing) to scare him. Bear your teeth, mumble in a made up language, threaten to rip him to shreds.
You can actually see his soul leave his body when he faints.
However in typical Mammon fashion he gets used to you surprisingly quick, especially when you don't come through on your promise to eat him.
After that he figures that together the two of you could start scamming people for even more money. After all, he does own a real live demon now.
You two make bank stealing and tricking people. With his knack for creating schemes and your powers the two of you are rolling in money in no time, although it always seems to be lost pretty quickly thanks to his terrible gambling habits.
It's in the middle of a heist that something goes wrong. Someone, you don't know who you can only hear the click of a revolver, pulls out a gun. With lightning fast reflexes you’re tackling Mammon shielding him with the tip of your wing and just in time as something is shot into it tearing through muscle and sinew.
The urge to rip them to shreds overtakes you, growing with every second that your human is in danger. But there was so many of them and you couldn't protect Mammon and yourself at the same time. The need to get somewhere safe is much more important so you leave.
It's only your quick reflexes that get the two of you out alive.
When you finally get home Mammon laments over all of the money he lost on the deal. acts like it doesn't affect him. His complaints last exactly till he sees the blood staining your form.
He almost faints right there.
Once he recovers he's immediately running to get ice packs and gauze, fussing over your injured wing. It's obvious he’s worried even though he tries to hide it under his tsundere act. When you’re finally bandaged up he thanks you glancing at your wound the entire time.
It's hard not to appreciate the gesture.
You just don't know how to tell him that your going to be perfectly fine in like two days (thank Diavolo for demon healing)
After this you two are a lot closer. Even before you were friends, but now the relationship has morphed into something different.
The two of you do less dangerous scams and while Mammon doesn't act too different he gets super weird when you're too close. Blushing a terrible crimson and freaking out when you touch.
Even for a demon its not hard to see that he has a crush.
Levi
Also summoned you on accident.
He was actually trying to summon Ruri-chan. You have to admit when it comes to her he does his research. Drew a full pentagram and everything and as a final touch placed a little plushy in the middle.
He absolutely panics when you arrive here instead.
Used to humans being afraid you, you ignore him at first. You fall to one knee eager to pledge your loyalty in exchange for his soul when you land on something squishy.
Pulling it out from under you see a plushy??? Of some anime character??? TF???
This pulls him from his stupor and he snatches it from you and begins to lecture you on the importance of Ruri-chan and anime on human culture.
You have no clue whats going on at this point.
When he finally stops talking he actually gets kind of excited. He summoned a hot demon??? Woah! This is just like his anime 'I accidentally summoned a demon from Hell who became my roommate and now I might be falling for them.'
At your confused look he immediately turns it on and has you watch it. You two end up having an entire movie night together.
After that the two of you mostly act like roommates.
He often compares you to his favorite series TSL where 7 humans summon a demon named Henry and go on crazy adventures with him. The first time he accidentally calls you Henry he blushes like crazy.
At first he acted like you were annoying him most of the time but it was pretty easy to catch on to his tsundere act. He actually loves having you around and will whine when you have to leave. He says its because he can't play two player games without you but you know the truth.
On the rare occasions the two of you go out he gets jealous of anyone with even the slightest interest in you. Your HIS demon why are you giving someone else your attention?
Its pretty easy to distract him though. Just the slightest touch and hes flushing and stuttering. You can do whatever he won't get the hint that you like him the most.
'There's no way you meant to do this. This must be some weird demon norm I don't know about. Yup that's it.'
Satan
Summoned a demon on purpose. And not just that summoned you on purpose.
With his extensive library he had more than enough information to figure out how to summon a demon. After that it was just a matter of choosing which one. He finally settled on you.
You don't need to worry about explaining how a pact works to him. He already knows everything on it. Maybe even more than you. Nerd.
Don't express this opinion out loud. He will be furious.
Even so he'll still make you tell him about summoning a million times just to see if you know anything different.
Mostly you’re an over glorified assistant/labrat to him. MC grab that book. MC draw this summoning circle. MC stick your hand in this flame.
Of any of the brothers he is the one who sees your demon form the most and the one who asks the most questions about it. You have very sharp claws what are those used for? Four sets of wings? I wonder why you have so many. Slitted eyes? Do you have any idea why they are like this?
He is very interested in the differences between humans and demons so you end up performing a lot of tests.
He would also be curious about the celestial war and your part in it. Its up to you to choose to answer him or not.
If you ignore any of his questions he will get annoyed and be snippy. But just tell him an interesting tidbit about hell and he'll be back to normal in no time.
As for his actual job he works as a researcher at a big lab. You go there often to help him with his work. He used to have a lot of assistants but none could handle his terrible rage.
Its one of the reasons you work so well with him. An angry human? That's no big deal. Now if he was a demon that would be something to talk about
His tantrums are actually kind of cute. Like a fussy kitten.
Telling him this has a 50/50 chance of either making him blush or rampage.
If its possible he uses you to annoy his colleagues
Janice talked shit about his theories on planetary alignment? Poison her
Jk not really but maybe just, like, make her day a hundred times worse?
Thanks MC you're great
A power team at its best. His need to get back at people he hates works well with your general need to cause mischief
Asmodeus
An orgy summons you obvious reasons. Although technically not the one who summoned you, you end up making a pact with Asmodeus before the nights over.
It was inevitable really, of all the humans there how could you not choose him? His overblown confidence and cocky insistence that he was perfect was practically adorable. I mean here you are, a demon of all things, and yet this little human is here insisting that he was perfection himself. You just wanted to eat his soul right up he was so cute.
To him its obvious why. After all, he was so beautiful that even demons fell in love with him, he couldn't blame you.
Even if you tell him the real reason he won't believe it.
Immediately starts bragging about how he could seduce demons
If you leave a pact mark on him though he will complain
As for actual duties you don't have a lot
At parties you work as his wingman but at home the two of you have more of a domestic role. He treats you more like a best friend than a demon.
He has a lot of spa days, something he immediately insisted that you take part in too.
One day you bring him a bottle of demon moisturizer. Big mistake
When he finds out about all the different demon beauty products he immediately orders you to get him some.
Your poor wallet.
He's always ordering new things. He really wants to go down to Devildom so he could look himself instead of having to order off Akuzon. One day you'll figure out a way to show him the eternal night.
He's also very flirty towards you, something your not surprised about. Hes always on your lap or petting your head or asking for affection, and he constantly alludes to the things the two of you could do. As time goes on he begins to get even more needy, sometimes ignoring others at parties just to flirt with you. He wants all of your attention all of the time.
Beelzebub
Did not mean to summon you but now that your here hes pretty okay with it
Of all the brothers he the one to treat you the most like another human.
However you have one duty that you take very seriously
You must protect his brother, no matter what.
Other than that you two are like roommates. He doesn't really ask you of much except to keep the fridge stocked (which is a bigger job than expected this guy eats a lot) and he'll take care of the rent and everything else.
Sometimes he'll ask if you want to head to the gym with him. You thank your demon metabolism since every time you end up going he always stops for burgers and shakes at his favorite place on the way home.
He lifts a lot for a human, no surprise since you've seen how sculpted his body is. Seriously he's like a Greek statue. You spot him while doing reps and help correct his form while necessary. It's a bit of a switch from dealing with demon biology to human biology though so you have to make sure that you don't accidentally hurt your new friend.
Sometimes the two of you have movie nights, although its more of an excuse for him to buy a bunch of human food and you to buy a bunch of demon food and pig out. He still manages to out eat you somehow.
Occasionally the two of you will go out with his brother Belphie although it usually ends up with either you or Beel carrying him when he falls asleep. But it gives you time to chat with Beel on your own which you don't mind
The two of you end up with a good bromance, sometimes minus the b.
He treats you like an old friend and even ends up telling you about Lilith, his dear sister who died when a car hit her. He had only managed to pull his brother out of the way at the time and he still remembers it well. You can practically smell the guilt that hangs off him when he tells you that. It's hard not to feel touched after that story even for a demon.
He confesses a lot of things to you, things he has a hard time saying to other people. He never calls upon his pact to swear you to secrecy. He trusts you.
Belphie
Also summons you on purpose
When you first meet Belphie he's angry, uncontrollably angry. It's at the point where it almost surprises you. After all a human filled with so much wrath is no small feat.
His first order is a tough one but one you have no choice but to accept.
Kill the man that murdered his sister
The two of you work hard to hunt him down, spending many days brainstorming late into the night. Although it always ends up with just you working, as Belphie has the strangest tendency to fall asleep while talking. (Narcoleptic maybe? Or just lazy?) Whatever the case you don't terribly mind.
Even just his presence helps, in some strange way.
When you finally track him down Belphie insists on going too. He wants to see the man die with his own two eyes.
It's not a hard fight but it is an emotional one. Through the bond you two share you can feel Belphies anger, his pain, his desire for revenge, and then finally an emptiness.
When its over the two of you go home, still covered in whatever bits of him were left. Belphegor shows no emotions and you wonder if hes in shock from seeing someone die so suddenly, but all you feel is a tired yet content thrum through your bond.
When you finally get home Belphegor immediately tries to go to sleep and its only through a little nagging and a lot of manhandling that your able to convince him to shower first. By now the bloods beginning to dry into a nasty goop and once he's done you jump in too, soothed by the steam and clouds of soap drifting around you.
To no ones surprise Belphie is asleep when you get out. It's then when you realize that you have nothing left to do.
With that one action your purpose here is done, and yet your pact remains. Your thoughts begin to rise Belphie who clings stubbornly to sleep. It's no use though. The two of you are too connected for it to stop.
You hear the sheets rustle and he raises one hand patting at the covers. A universal sign to come here.
"You're so loud" He mutters even though you haven't said a word. "Just sleep already."
A useless answer but a comforting one. You curl up at his side, feeling the tiniest bit like an obedient dog, but his arm settles over your shoulder and he drapes himself over your chest erasing the thoughts from your mind.
You eyes flutter close, at least for the moment. You can decide what you should do when you wake up.
#now that i learned about colors its over for yall#never uses them again#swap au#demon au#actually gave this a tag because I plan to add a lot to it#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me mammon#obey me lucifer#obey me asmo#obey me asmodeus#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me satan#shall we date satan#shall we date#swd#mammon#obey me story#obey me scenarios#obey me fanfic
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 5 Retrospective
Finished season 5 rewatch a few days ago. Season 5 was an eventful year for the show, on and off the screen. Off screen the show got cancelled on Fox, had a huge public outcry over the cancellation which included several celebrities, and then got picked up by NBC all in 48 hours. It was an exhilarating time as a B99 fan. Lot of stuff happened on screen as well, Jake and Rosa were in prison, team got them out, Jake and Amy got engaged, Rosa came out as bisexual to the precinct and her parents, Holt was in the running to be NYPD Commissioner, Amy became a Sergeant, and then Jake and Amy got married. Eventful season to say the least. Its also my favorite season of the show.
Honestly, this season is about as close to perfection I felt with a season. In other seasons there are at least an episode or two which I felt were meh or problematic. Season 5 is near flawless. I think Return to Skyfire is the weakest of the episodes but its still pretty fun. There are several episodes of season 5 that all rank in the top 10 B99 episodes in my opinion. The show also takes some risks with a couple of experimental episodes. There are episodes with a lot of heart, there are episodes that absolutely hilarious, there are ensemble episodes, there are two hander episode. some excellent new guest stars, and many great recurring stars.
I think the two prison episodes are pretty interesting. Tim Meadows as Caleb is absolutely amazing. He is so likable and low key hilarious that the fact that he's a cannibal who eats children always feels like a dark surprise. He and Andy Samberg make for a fun duo. The first of the two episodes is particularly fun. The show doesn't hesitate to show the danger of Jake being in the prison, especially the situation he finds himself by the end of the premiere. The show does connect one story to the next pretty seamlessly with the end of the Melanie Hawkins story connecting the the Seamus Murphy story which then connected to the Holt commissioner story. There are also a couple of really good experiments in experiments and story with The Box and Show Me Going. The Box is B99 at its most confident. Apart from Gina very briefly at the beginning and Boyle very briefly at the end, the entire episode really hinges on only three characters. Jake, Holt, and Sterling K. Brown's Dr. Davidson. Its a brilliant showcase for all three actors and all three characters. I believe Brown got a Guest Actor Emmy nomination for his performance and he's brilliant as the smarmy Dentist who really is in control for majority of the episode. Braugher and Samberg were old pros with their dynamic at this point and this is fantastic Jake and Holt episode because you completely get why Jake wants so badly to prove that he's right in front of Holt why being cast as the screw up and the idiot in the interrogation frustrates him so much because we know how much Holt's approval means to him. We also see why Terry call Jake his best detective back in season 1 because of how he riles up Davidson to get the confession at the end and getting the approval of Holt that he wanted. Its an incredibly satisfying episode and one of the show's best imo. Then there is also 'Show me Going' which is a surprisingly tense episode in which nothing tense actually happens on screen. The episode does a great job working with the fact that the only knowledge the squad has is that Rosa is on the scene of an active shooter situation. Basically we are in the same situation as the characters. Since all the characters are on edge, so are we. The show does a nice job balancing humor and recognize the danger of the situation.
The season has probably my favorite B99 episode and definitely by fav B99 Halloween episode with HalloVeen. Whereas the last three Halloween episodes were predictable or spoiled from the promos, this one actually threw a genuine surprise. I knew Jake and Amy would get engaged some point in the season, but I expected it to be on the much hyped 99th episode. Instead it can much earlier with HallowVeen and its a delight from start to finish. Its great to rewatch the episode because you pick up little signs that Jake was a bit more desperate to win than usual. First when he says that planning for the heist is what got him through prison time, and then when he says to Boyle that he has to win this time and this heist is way too important. On first watch, these details just slip by as regular overzealous Jake but they have additional poignancy on repeat. The actual proposal moment is handled beautifully in a very peraltiago way where it is both funny and romantic, with Charles' reaction being the cherry on top. There are quite a few strong related episodes that follow. The Venue being a fun return with the Vulture, Two Turkeys being a TWW reunion with Smits and Whitford returning as Amy and Jake's fathers. Its a better Thanksgiving episode than the previous season Smits appearance. Bachelor/ette party is another glorious episode with wild, fun shenanigans with Reginald VelJohnson appearing as himself. Jake & Amy is a very typical wedding episode where everything goes wrong but its perfect in all the right ways. Its heartwarming and sweet. You get more examples of how Jake and Amy are perfect for each other with Jake knowing the inside and outs of how Amy stresses out, and then ending on a wonderful B99 wedding with Fred Armisen returning to make a cameo appearance as Mlep(clay)nos. The episode was designed to work as a series finale since the potential for cancellation was there and while it leaves the season on a cliffhanger about Holt's job, its the sort of cliffhanger that we could have interpreted positively if the show hadn't gotten picked up by NBC.
The 99th and 100th episode of the show were also memorable. The creators chose to acknowledge the 99th episode in a way that most shows acknowledge the 100th episode, in true 99 style. Its a full ensemble episode barring the absence of Chelsea who would return on the 100th episode. Its a typical road trip episode which kickstarts the Holt commissioner storyline. It also is the episode where Rosa comes out as Bi to Charles. This was obviously a big story for Stephanie since she is bi as well and she championed this story. It gets explored in further depth next episode, but Stephanie Beatriz gets to do some of her best work in these two episodes, showing her vulnerability without losing her toughness. Game Night honestly feels very true to not just coming out as Bi to your parents but true to any child who has to confess something that would be against their conservatives parents' values. I think Game Night is a fantastically bittersweet episode and Danny Trejo is brilliantly cast as Rosa's father. The episode positions him as the parent whose reaction Rosa is most worried about and I love how they show that while its difficult for him to grasp the concept bisexuality, he comes around to accepting it and accepting Rosa. But the episode is still bittersweet with Rosa's mom not having come to terms with it. Its also an excellent Rosa and Jake episode where we see Jake endure incredibly uncomfortable situations to help Rosa. Its a characteristic that helps make Jake so endearing that he's willing to cross all limits for his friends.
There are lots of fun and hilarious episodes in between. Craig Robinson shows up as Doug Judy in The Negotiations which is another fun ep. Kevin and Jake get a great episode dealing with their dynamic in Safe House. Rosa and Amy have some fun in White Whale as the Sleuth Sisters. Pimento returns in Gray Star Mutual for some more crazy shenanigans. Gray Star Mutual also has my favorite cold open of all time with Jake leading a suspect lineup in a rendition of 'I got it that way', totally forgetting the crime that he's got the lineup for. Its pitch perfect and I've lost count of how many times I've seen that cold open on youtube. It basically has its own fanbase and introduced so many people to B99. We also get to see Naseem Pedrad as Jake's sister Katie and the end up having a cute dynamic. David Fumero shows up in The Puzzle Master. There are also pretty funny episodes dealing with some serious subject matter such Jake dealing with his own doubts in his ability to do his job after Prison in Kicks and Holt dealing with gambling addiction in Bad Beat. All handled very sensitively.
All in all, this was a fantastic season for the show. I had a blast rewatching it and it ended the Fox era in spectacular note. A 9.5/10. Now on to season 6.
'
#b99#brooklyn nine nine#brooklyn 99#raymond holt#jake peralta#terry jeffords#amy santiago#rosa diaz#charles boyle#gina linetti#andre braugher#andy samberg#melissa fumero#terry crews#stephanie beatriz#joe lo truglio#chelsea peretti#peraltiago#sterling k brown
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A ranking of heist episodes (by me)
This is just my opinion, I love them all so much!
7. Cinco De Mayo - I think the reason this one is my least favourite is just because it doesn’t take place at Halloween, and the lighting and set just feels off. It was good, and I’m glad Terry won, but it felt very different from the rest.
6. Halloween - This one was iconic and I love it! The only reason it’s here is because it’s the least convoluted out of them all, with the least amount of plot twists. They only get better, and when you start with an episode this good, that’s impressive.
5. Halloween IV - I love all the different plot lines and confusion, it was so chaotic, and I love the introduction of Bill. Amazingly done with Gina’s sneaking, and our first time watching them team up.
4. Halloween Part III - Amy’s victory was very satisfying, and Holt yelling “Because the cleavage cloaks the camera with it’s curves” is one of the funniest moments on the show.
3. Valloweaster - I definitely prefer this method of time explanation than Cinco de Mayo’s. It was amazing, and had so many plot twists. Also, the Infinity Gauntlet was a very awesome prop, and Bill’s loss of sanity in March 2020 is on point.
2. Halloween II - I think this one is the funniest, watching Jake scramble around is so entertaining, and Holt’s win and the way everyone fit into the episode was wonderful, I love it.
1. HalloVeen - Of course, this one is my favourite heist, and it’s actually my favourite episode out of them all. Not just B99, like, all the episodes. Ever made. I love the actual heist, with everyone having their own motivations, and betraying each other like crazy, it’s top tier interactions. The cold open with Holt in Jake and Amy’s room is perfect. And obviously, the proposal is phenomenal. So in character, and Jake figuring out what’s going on everyone so he can plan it, it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
#b99#brooklyn nine nine#peraltiago#jake peralta#amy santiago#raymond holt#rosa diaz#gina linetti#charles boyle#terry jeffords#halloween#heist
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@orchidscript ever wanna not talk to 1000 old ladies at work so instead you listen to 32 grinch songs to cope and power rank them? i do, let’s go:
Thurl Ravenscroft cause there ain’t nothin’ like an angry tiger absolutely ripping his ex apart
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy sounds like something the couple would duet at the beginning of an enemies to lovers musical romcom
Lindsey Stirling has finally made something I want to listen to while I do a heist
Darius Rucker is definitely the only person since Thurl to nail the timing on the 39 1/2-foot pole
Preservation Hall Jazz Band made the first song I’ve ever heard that sounds so genuinely like a girl unbelievably disgusted by her ex
Ceelo Green is bringing the exact level of admiration I wanted from the Jim Carrey version
John Cullum and co. are living in the alternate timeline I crave, where Grinch hears Tony’s song and becomes more evil because of it
Ian Munsick... that guitar, though...
Hunter Brothers made a sexy one but in a relaxing way. These men have been living with their attraction to the Grinch for years and they’re okay with it
Funny Bunny Team needs to stop trying to be Thurl, it’s never gonna happen
Kidz Bop is objectively fine but like, y’all’re kids. Shush.
Danny Worsnop I think is just Jeffrey Tambor’s internal monologue through that whole movie
Deanna Kirk is really running that horniness train and I was totally on board until the breakdown
Newsong... fuck, bro
Glee (ft. k.d. lang) is only raised above inoffensiveness because the Grinch is genderfluid. Good for her.
Pentatonix is, as usual, inoffensive if you like musical theatre
Small Town Titans was D O I N G it for me with the guitar but some of the high notes are very questionable
Take 6 are all amazing singers but honestly the storyline overshadowed the music
Jim Carrey has skills that can’t be overstated but listen. hey, jim. listen. if you’re gonna sing this in character as the Grinch, you’re gonna have to be more proud of yourself
Thurl & Boris is WONDERFUL but it simply isn’t a song. it’s a clip from the movie
EARCANDY is genuinely inoffensive but I just want more bass in my acapella sorry
Voctave needs to learn that a deep voice does not a villain make
Brian Setzer is like a half note off from being ideal
Andrea DeLadurantey is gender-swapped with Nightmare before Christmas
The Robertson’s should DEFINITELY be lower. I WANT it to be lower. Unfortunately, the tonelessness and lisp are oddly endearing
Misfits have the world’s most insane pacing but if someone said “you’re a bad banana” to me like that, I would be delighted
Tyler, the Creator is too cool for the Grinch. This song is too cool. Also I just can’t with the child choir
Straight no Chaser PLEASE STOP MAKING THE GRINCH COOL AND EMO HE’S A DIPSHIT DORKUS
Jordan Smith is SO CLOSE to being inoffensive
Aimee Mann is just another Halloween-sona
VoicePlay... hhh. To heal yourself after this, please go listen to Home Free’s “Ring of Fire”
Nashville Cast genuinely made me want to crawl out of my own skin
#it was a Day y'all#i was really goin through it and this is how i coped#also please send me more grinch songs i want to add them to the playlist#i had fun with this i can't explain#yeehaw isolation office#yeehaw isolation cabin#the grinch
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Fifth Post / Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
Two for one post coming at you HOT! I read these books in rapid succession and, as they are a duology, I figured it makes sense to post about them together. I confess that I am starting to fall behind with my posting... but I refuse to give-up on this self-imposed exercise!!
I’m gonna shake things up a bit here -- rather than follow my usual review format I would like to take this opportunity to present you with my thesis on:
SIX OF CROWS and CROOKED KINGDOM by LEIGH BARDUGO....
... AS VIEWED THROUGH A BROOKLYN NINE-NINE LENSE.
SO literally the entire time I was reading these books I couldn’t help but think about the recurring Halloween Heist episodes found in each season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You know the ones. Six of Crows centers around one big heist, while Crooked Kingdom has a series of heists that are pulled off to varying degrees of success. The key players belong to a gang called The Dregs, and I couldn’t help but notice some striking similarities between the gang members and members of the 99th precinct.
I haven’t done any internet trolling to see if this comparison already exists elsewhere, so apologies in advance if I’m not being as original and clever as I think I’m being. Also shout-out to my friends KC and JC for workshopping this IRON CLAD analysis with me. They confirmed this is legit, and I trust their judgment unwaveringly.
1. Kaz / Captain Holt
Kaz is the boss of The Dregs; Captain Holt is the boss of the 99th precinct. While this makes the parallel between the two obvious, there are deeper reasons I believe Kaz and Captain Holt are one.
Both Kaz and the Captain present a stony exterior, but they’ve got a lot more feels going on inside than they’d care to admit (to themselves or to others).
They care deeply about their crew members and would do pretty much anything to protect them.
Not opposed to tough love.
Both have had to face adversity on their climb through the ranks to the top -- the Captain as an openly gay black police officer, and Kaz as one of the youngest gang bosses in Ketterdam.
Have made enemies along the way (see: Madeline Wuntch, Pekka Rollins, the Disco Strangler, Jan Van Eck...).
And of course, Kaz and the Captain are clearly the best characters of their respective series. I rest my case.
2. Inej / Rosa
Rosa and Inej and are *the* most badass characters of their series. No one can hold a candle to these fierce femmes.
All black all the time -- Inej and Rosa have mastered the look.
Both are pros at their jobs and they’re not afraid to work hard.
Masters of the stake-out.
The secret glue that holds their crews together -- everyone would be lost without them (Boyle especially). Just look what happened that time Inej was kidnapped?!
Both have mysterious pasts -- or they are at least protective of their pasts/the details of their personal lives. No one even knew where Rosa lived for like 3 seasons. Talk about stealth mode.
Can and will kick your ass.
Admittedly Inej is has a warmer disposition than Rosa, but we all know Rosa is a softy on the inside. And okay okay, I know I said Kaz and Captain Holt are the best characters, but I might have spoken too soon....
3. Nina / Gina
Well, first of all, it rhymes -- so it must be true.
Nina and Gina are the sass-QWEENS of their series.
Witty, funny, confident, smart, beautiful, literally magic (either on the dance floor or raising the dead).
They know their worth. As I said before: QWEENS.
Unapologetically themselves.
Gina and Nina know how to indulge in the little pleasures of life and we should all take a page out of their books.
I would say Gina’s character is more selfish, whereas Nina is quite selfless (ummmm, hello, she basically sacrificed herself to get the crew out of Fjerda), but Gina has been known to be secretly thoughtful. Also: I think if Nina had a cellphone her emoji game would be on point. I dare you to disagree.
4. Jesper / Jake
Goofy.
Charming.
Daddy issues.
Good with a gun.
Bad with money.
Need I say more? No. NEXT.
5. Matthias / Terry
I think this might be my favourite parallel.
Matthias and Terry embody the older brother figure who is too cool to hang out with his younger siblings... but then somehow gets wrangled into the younger siblings’ shenanigans. And has to bail said siblings out of said shenanigans when everything goes to hell.
Older brother or mother hen?
Literal Adonis body.
Both are role models -- as fighters, leaders, warriors, and just generally noble and good peeps.
Did I mention muscles?
I wonder if Matthias loves yogurt....
6. Wylan / Boyle
This checks out:
Both are keen to prove their chops to the team -- although they seem to be getting by on dumb luck half of the time.
Have weird relationships with their dads (different weird, but weird all the same).
Obsessed with Jesper/Jake.
Fierce ginger vibes (see: Boyle dressed as Mario Batali).
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.
#leigh Bardugo#six of crows#crooked kingdom#fiction#books#booklover#bookworm#currently reading#read more#read#Book Recommendations#bibliophile#bookporn#book addict#book post#book review#brooklyn nine nine#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#matthiashevlar#nina zenik#jesper fahey#wylan van eck
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Officer Amaro.
A/N: I’ll be brief: Nick, smut, and cop/officer kink (whatever you wanna call it). Enjoy! xx
/ Masterlist
Warnings: sexual intercourse, oral sex, officer kink, a bit of rought sex
Summer: Halloween calls for costumes and you have no idea that the stranger you met at the bar is not in a costume
The calendar marked October 31st, people waited a whole year just for this day, to dress up, to get drunk, to play trick or treat, to have a night out… many different reasons. But still, you and your friends had made it a habit to celebrate Halloween, matching group costumes and all.
Last year it was Bratz, this year it was La Casa de Papel: the red suit and the Dalí mask, the distinguishing symbol of the gang. For comfort, you all had opted for red pants and red shirt, instead of the overall suit, the mask in place over your head, and bright red lipstick.
When you got to the bar, it was already crowded, but you could still get inside without pushing too much. Sometime passed, the good music came on, the 3 shots you had were starting to make your body feel warm and your mind a bit easier.
You went with your friend to the counter to get her another drink. She had made her order, when a hand appeared from beside you, placing itself on the counter and you hear a warm voice calling out for a drink. You turned around and almost bumped into the man, for he was tall, broad and much closer to you than you had realized. Your shoulder bumped into his body and you were quick to apologize.“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you”, you looked into his eyes for the first time, and the were as warm as his voice. He smiled.
“It’s alright, not your fault, this place’s crowded”, he tilted his head to towards the makeshift dancefloor, almost packed with people who seemed to be having the time of their lives.
You were in a haze, your eyes fixated on his, before you took in his whole appearance. He was dressed like a cop, every detail: the uniform, the badge, the hat, the handcuffs.
“Are you competing?”, you question caught him off guard, because he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you. “Compete for what?”. “The… costume contest. They decide who’s got the best costume and every year there’s a winner”. It was not your first time in this place, but you usually came when you and your friends decided to party. Speaking of which, your friend had grabbed her drink and was watching the way you and this mystery guy were interacting. She put a hand om your arm and squeezed, gaining your attention. “I’m going back to the others, wave if you need something… although I don’t think you’ll need to”, she said, loud enough for you to hear, and winking as she left.
“Do you need to get back? I don’t want to keep you from having a good time”, his smile was calming and he was giving you an opportunity to go, but you were not sure if you wanted to. “Who says I’m not having a good time here?”, you smiled and leaned towards the bar, resting your back against it.“Nick”, he stuck his hand out and you smiled, shaking it. “Nice to meet you, Nick”, you introduced yourself, too, and he didn’t let go of your hand.
You were attracted to him and by the way he didn’t let go of your hand, you hoped he was too. He was hot, charming and his uniform had awakened your cop fantasies. He put his now empty glass on the counter, let go of your hand and examined the way you were dressed, not understanding what costume it was… until his eyes fell on the mask over your head. He smirked and tugged it down, covering your face with it, shaking his head.
“Do you have a city name, too? Or just the costume?”, he was now grinning, recognizing the infamous Dalí mask. You laughed and shook your head, getting the mask off your face and back on top of your head.
“I actually never thought about giving myself a name to fit in the gang. But if I had to, it would be Rome, such a wonderful city”. He nodded in agreement.You didn’t think that three shots would’ve loosened you up that much, but you found yourself bringing your hand up to his chest, your finger tracing the nametag where “AMARO” was written in bold letters, his surname, you assumed.
“Do you have a rank?”, you asked, your eyes still on the tag and then meeting his again. His hand came up and grabbed your hand, “Officer is fine”, his hand squeezed yours and you felt electricity going through you at his touch. “Officer Amaro, then? Nick Amaro”, you smiled as you saw his pupils dilate a bit at the use of “his rank” and his full name.
His hand brought yours behind your back, using it as leverage to pull your body against his. “Officer Amaro, yes. I suppose I should seize the moment and arrest you, I know Halloween is not stopping you from planning heists”. Your mouth watered at his implications, was this going where you thought it was going?
You licked your lips and smirked at him, “Arrest me, officer. I’ve been bad”, you batted your lashes at him and you felt how he was starting to grow hard against you. “I think you should tell your friends you’re leaving”, his mouth was right by your ear and his breath tickled you.
You turned to face the spot where your friends were, catching their attention by waving and then giving them a thumbs up, a “code” you had for when the guy was okay, so they didn’t need to be worried. You shot them a quick text in the group chat, saying you would see them tomorrow, and their replies were immediate and full of sexual allusions. You chuckled and looked back at Nick, smiling at him and placing a kiss on the corner of his lips.
“Take me home, officer”, you spoke in ear and he moved quick, almost dragging you out of the bar and leading you to his car, making you get inside and driving home. The car ride was full of sexual tension, his hand was on your thigh the whole time, squeezing and moving around, feeling the skin, and you could barely keep your hands to yourself, too. Nick was handsome and you couldn’t wait to see more of him.
When you got to his apartment, he let you in first and you lingered in the hallway, waiting for him to take the lead. He locked the house and slowly made his way over to where you were standing, one of his hands reached for your shoulder, turning you around, and the other went to grab the handcuffs from his belt. “You have the right to-”, he began the formula, but cut him off, you were becoming more and more impatient. “I know my rights, thank you”. Your tone was firm and you just wanted to tell him to hurry up.
“Very well, then”, he kissed your shoulder and the back of your neck, enclosing the handcuffs on your wrists and clicking them shut. “Is it okay?”, you gave a weak nod, incredibly aware of how damp your underwear was in that moment.Nick lead you to his bedroom, always facing your back, and pulled you to stand in front of the bed. His hand made contact with your body and you let out a sigh, dropping your head back and letting it rest on him.
“Do you want to confess?”, his hands never stayed in one place for too long, nor did they squeeze too much, you felt the need to push back into him and move your hips, just to get some sort of friction.“Yes, officer, I’ve been bad”, you whispered and he pulled you flush against him, his hand sliding from your stomach, between your breasts and all the way up to your throat, taking a hold of it. “This calls for a punishment, don’t you think?”, he flexed his hand and you whined quietly, nodding, “Yes”.“Yes what?”. “Yes, officer”. “Good girl”.
He moved his hand again from your throat and down to your hips, “Get on the bed, face down, ass up”, he ordered and your body moved to its own accord. You were completely under his spell, ready to do anything he asked you. You did as you were told, positioning yourself on the soft duvet with his hand as your hands were still cuffed behind your back.
“Such a nice ass – he gave a slap to it, making you moan and close your eyes – can I taste you?”, he licked his lips and waited for your consent, chuckling and getting on his knees when you told him he could do whatever he wanted.
He pulled down your pants, just enough to be able to eat you out, smiling as he saw the matching red underwear you had on. His fingers pulled your panties to the side, his eyes zeroing on your glistening lips and he used his hands to spread your cheeks, exposing you to his gaze.
The first thing you felt were his lips on the back of your thigh, two soft kisses, and then his mouthed closed in on you, your body melting at his actions.He started slowly, trailing his lips around and then using his tongue, swiping it between your lips and giving a couple of kitten licks at your clit. By now, you were a moaning mess, asking him to go faster, “please please please”. He knew he was teasing you, but he was enjoying it too much.
You heard him get up, pressing his clothed cock against your ass and pussy, making quick work of removing his shirt. “You made me so hard, can you feel it? I could eat you out all day”, you moaned and started grinding back into him, making him hiss, his eyes trained on your movements.He got on his knees again, turning you around and laying you with your back on the bed, the position was a bit uncomfortable due to your hands. He pulled off your pants completely and spread your legs, then kissed your inner tight.
“Just let me open you up, then I’ll get you out of the cuffs”, his voice was hoarse, he was trying to take things slow but all he wanted to do was take his pants off and fuck you.
“I want your hands, sir, please”, he started at you, all spread out before him and mumbled a quiet “fuck”. He did as you asked, covering his pointer and middle finger in your juices and slowly sliding them inside you. You moaned loudly, you were not in a relationship and your hands or dildos could not compare to the real thing.
“Do you want to come, cariño?”, you moaned even louder at the use of the Spanish nickname and he started to move his fingers, angling them just right to hit your g-spot. “Please, sir”. “Ask me properly”. “Please, sir, make me cum”. He smirked at you, he had no idea how much he enjoyed being called “sir” until you were saying it. Your eyes snapped open the moment he put his mouth on you, his tongue playing with your clit.
The sight between your legs was heavenly: he was on his knees, just his pants on, but with the way he was moving his free hand, you were pretty sure his pants were open and he was jerking off. The thought of his dick in his hand and the fact the he got off on eating you out made you cum on his tongue and fingers, his name slipping out of your mouth repeatedly.
He licked everything he could, cleaning you up and sliding his fingers out. He gently helped you sit up, his hands immediately going to unlock the cuffs on your wrists, tossing them on the floor and examining the red marks on the skin.
“It’s fine, I enjoyed it”, your voice broke his thoughts. He smiled and kissed you. The first real kiss since getting into his house and damn was it good.
“Let me repay the favor”, you tried to get on your knees in front of him, your hand enclosing on his head and tugging a few times. He groaned and sneaked a hand into your hair, the other going to grab himself.
“Open”, you smiled as he pulled your head back and slapped his dick against your lips. You obeyed him and opened your mouth wide. He slid his cock in your mouth a few times, never breaking eye contact, relishing the warmth of it and the pleasure it brought, but it wasn’t what he brought you home for.
“How do you want it?”, his hand was still keeping your head back and the other was pumping himself. “From behind”, your answer was determined and he smirked, he could wait to have you. You positioned yourself on the bed just like it had started, your head was on your hands, your knees were apart to make room for him and your cunt was shining with arousal in the low light.
He grabbed a condom from his nightstand and put it on, proceeding to slide his cock against your folds a few times to get it wet. You were soaked and Nick slipped right in, both of you moaning as he stayed still for a couple seconds to let you get accustomed to his size. He was thick and felt delicious. He understood he could move when your hips started grinding against his, but he removed his hands from their place on your hips.
“Fuck yourself on my cock, c’mon”, you gave your ass a soft slap and you moaned, biting your lips and adjusting the position of your arms, so you could rock back on him. Your pace started slow, long and experimental thrusts, leaving just the head inside and then taking him back till the base. His eyes were focused on you, how you worked yourself and him, the sounds you made, everything.
“Look at you, good girl”, his praises only fueled your movements. When your pace quickened, he watched your ass bounce in front of his, what a view. Your moans were getting louder and he knew that you were chasing your orgasm. He put his hands on your hips, keeping you in place as he started to thrust into you at a decent pace, your hands immediately grabbed at the covers underneath you.
“Fuck Nick, just like that”, you huffed and squeezed your eyes, the eroticism of the moment contributing to your upcoming orgasm. He knew he had to give you something more, so he wet his fingers and sneaked one hand around and rubbing your clit. “Are you going to cum, sweetheart?”, he was really holding off, waiting for you to let go first, but with the way your cunt was gripping him he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. “Yes, yes, can I cum? Can I cum, sir? Please”, hearing you ask him for permission to cum made something snap inside of him, his pace becoming impossibly fast.
“Cum, baby. Soak my cock”. The combination of his words, the way he was moving and how he was rubbing your clit had you cumming in an instant. You were moaning loudly and calling out his name, one of your hands had left the bed and now had a death grip on his forearm, to keep yourself grounded, because you were on the verge of passing out from your orgasm. He followed right after you, the way you squeezed him was too much to handle and he emptied himself inside the condom in a few, long thrusts. He said your name and some curse words in Spanish, and if you weren’t so spent, you’d be ready to go again just by hearing that.
Nick stopped his movements, stilling inside of you, both of you panting loudly. Next, you felt his mouth on your upper back, leaving a few kisses there, on of his hands was by your side, supporting his weight, and the other was encircling your waist. “You okay?”, his voice was calm and tender. “Yeah, thanks”, you replied and closed your eyes for a second, until you felt him pull out. He showed you the bathroom, so you could clean up and pee, and he started to tidy up his discarded uniform, and your clothes.
You got out of the bathroom, yawning and rubbing your eyes. You started to get dressed, but he stopped you. “You can sleep here, if you want. I don’t want you going out there, alone, at this hour”. He tried to make it sound like a suggestion, but he failed. There was no room for arguing, you were staying the night. He welcomed you into the bed, you were only wearing a shirt of his and he was wearing sweatpants. You fell asleep right away, barely saying goodnight, too tired to do anything else.
The morning after, you woke up with a pleasant ache between your legs, and it took you a while to actually remember where you were. What helped in you, in fact, was the gun that you saw on the nightstand. It was still sitting in its holster, but there was no doubt that was a gun. And it looked pretty real too. “What the- fuck”, you sat up on the bed, scooting away from that object.
Nick was in the adjacent bathroom and he heard you, a signal that you were awake. He entered the room, still in the same sweatpants, and he looked at you, your eyes wide and staring at the gun. “Why is there a fucking gun on your nightstand”, you didn’t mean to sound so rude and angry, but it wasn’t exactly common for you to wake up to a gun. Nick looked at you with his eyes wide, “What do you mean why ther- it’s my job! Where else should I put the gun?”. “Your job?”, you looked at him, and you had no idea what was going on. “Uh... yeah, my job. The uniform, the gun, the badge. I told I was an officer”, he shook his head at you, brows furrowed. You had told him you only had three shots and that you were “basically sober”, but he was beginning to question the fact.
“Holy shit. Holy shit. So that was not a Halloween costume.”, there it was. The misunderstanding.
He raised his eyebrows and he wanted to smile at your silliness, but seeing the upset state you were in, he decided against it. “I thought it was clear. I mean, costumes usually don’t have nametag, do they?”, he sat beside you, one leg crossed on the bed and the other with the feet still on the floor. You nodded and then shook your head. “No, you’re right, but see, you showed up at a Halloween party, dressed like a cop. Cops are one of the most popular disguises for Halloween and I just thought… you know, that it was a costume”.
You were almost embarrassed saying it out loud, you had just made a fool out of yourself.He nodded and put his hand on yours, “Hey, it doesn’t matter. It’s alright, I see where you’re coming from. But yeah… I’m a cop. Detective, actually”, he saw your eyebrows raised and he didn’t know if this situation was good or bad. Did you have any regrets? Because if you did, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.
“Well, anyways thank you for last night. I enjoyed it”, you murmured and started to get down from the bed, grabbing your clothes and starting to dress yourself.“There’s breakfast, if you want. Coffee, tea, cereal…”, you turned your head and gave him a small smile. “Thank you, but I’m really not the breakfast type”, he nodded, understanding that you probably wanted to leave, this was a one-night stand, after all. “Want me… to show you out?”, he said and you grabbed your purse and your phone, “Please”.
On the threshold of his house, you turned around and looked at him, he was keeping the door open. “Thank you for yesterday”, you smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek, waving at him as you made your way out.
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Top 5 Worst SML videos
Who doesn’t love SML? Aside from everyone.
In case you didn’t see my SML Rant post, here’s some istoree. SML was once a cult classic towards plush tubers back in the days of cat videos being relevant as hell, but they lived long enough to become the villain. From scummy Patreon, to insulting the people that know what’s best, hell, even Nintendo hates his guts, they sent him a C&D and to 99% of the world, it was a W for Nintendo. And you know you screwed it up when you turn something as bad as a C&D into a dream come true. Hell, it was why I quit SML in the 1st place, after a certain “video”, SML’s last line of defense to me was making Junior videos cause Junior was one of my favorite SML characters. Now that Junior videos are replaced by the arguably worse puppet Junior videos, I never felt more alive escaping that hell hole of a channel. And now, as a former SML fan it is time to add my piece of the salty pie by ranking my top 5 worst SML videos when I was a fan of SML. Why a Top 5? Cause I can’t be bothered to make a top 10.
Keep in mind if there aren’t any videos here that you think are bad, it’s either
A. I never saw them
or
B. They’re a guilty pleasure
Now with that outta the way, let’s a go.
5. Black Yoshi’s Call Of Duty Special Edition
The problem with this video is Black Yoshi himself. In this video, he’s really anger inducing, like MY GOD! Ok, for context, Mario and Rosalina were going on vacation, which leads to Black Yoshi turning on the TV and him knowing about the aforementioned game. And so, he somehow, by force of habit, made his way to Mario’s plane, and forced Mario’s flight to cancel and Mario and Rosalina have never been more sympathetic than in this video. And what follows is an irritating scene of Mario saying no and Black Yoshi pretending to not understand, and then, Black Yoshi stole Mario’s credit card and bought the new CoD and almost got away with it. Key word being “almost” because the reason this video’s on number 5 is cause the ending kinda saved it. Mario spots Black Yoshi’s little “package” and returns it to GameStop and we get an admittedly funny gag that goes on for a teeny bit too long about Mario, Brooklyn Guy and Black Yoshi not knowing where the PS4 went because it had a camouflage paintjob. But just because the ending isn’t shit doesn’t mean that it saves the rest of the video’s skin.
4. Zombie Jeffy
Don’t worry, this isn’t Jeffy’s last time being in the spotlight of failures. To start with, JESUS that Zombie Jeffy puppet! What kind of 2 eyes approved of this?! And (sigh) ok, I’mma be honest. This may make me a hypocrite, but I didn’t watch the entire thing. Like, I never got past the beginning but from what I heard I assume I’m not missing much just by watching it up until the end of the beginning. But there’s the key word. The beginning kinda saved this video and it’s not in the top 3 because it’s not the real SML halloween special. The Halloween Heist was the real special and it was awesome. But that doesn’t mean this video isn’t shit, cause it is.
3. Bowser Jr’s Revenge
With a title like that you must expect something awesome right? Something real amazing? Something that will rock your socks off? Well, tough shit, cause all we got was a bunch of badly reenacted pranks, which made this video pretty bland. Legit, I skipped to the end to see if there’s gonna be anything interesting, but I guess I was overhyping cause the rest of the video is still shit. The reason it’s this low is because it’s an Infinite. Great ideas on paper, horrid as fuck on execution.
2. Mario Sells Jeffy
There’s not much I need to say here, the plot is already written down, Mario sells Jeffy to Goodman because Richard, his son, is in need of a playmate and the rest of the video? PURE FILLER CRAP. Mario eventually sold Jeffy by tricking him to thinking Goodman is Willy Wonka, and Mario must now cover up the fact he sold his adopted son for money from Rosalina. And then, the video ends with Mario getting Jeffy back. It’s such an unnecessary, bland, filler heavy video that doesn’t need to be here. Why is it on number 2 though? Heh. Hahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I AM GLAD YOU ASKED!
1. Jeffy’s New Year’s Resolution
This video... this fucking video is the aforementioned video that made me almost lose trust in SML. Like, look at the thumbnail and you can tell the entire story from there. Jeffy’s area was hurt from being smacked too often and now he must stop doing it forever. Basically a plot made by the geniuses having the IQ of 0.5, cause it’s simplistic as fuck! And the jokes? The jokes are even worse! They’re bland and unfunny, the total opposite of a joke! Mario’s pizza joke would have been hilarious but he spoiled the damn thing and now it’s not funny! Hell, not even the Drunk Brooklyn Guy can heal the wounds the video casted upon himself. And the worst part? This is the NEW YEAR’S SPECIAL! NO JOKE, WE’RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS BORING, BLAND, UNFUNNY VIDEO, AS SOME FREAKING NEW YEAR’S SPECIAL! I can forgive it if it was a normal video, but a SPECIAL?! This video literally shattered almost all of my respect towards SML which is an admirable feat, IF THE WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN! If you think of this video as a proper way to close off a new year, you have the IQ level of 0.35. Sorry, but it’s true cause this was one of the worst videos i’ve ever watched, nah, scratch it, THE WORST VIDEO EVER THAT I HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF SITTING THROUGH. This has been my top 5 worst SML videos, and don’t even try to make me like jeffy’s new year’s resolution, it’s a waste of time, just like the state of SML right now.
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absolutely shipost but a nateray BB99 AU is so funny to me. mostly bc i can’t stop thinking of nate w untamed hair in bed w ray reading songs out of the great american songbook when he’s stressed for an exam
brad is like a fun combo of holt and terry and probably has terry’s rank
brad: i love scary brad he says what regular brad is thinking. THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG I’M GONNA MISS THE FARMER’S MARKET
brad: I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes
ray: I'm not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit
also thinking about the original halloween heist being ray vs. brad made watching this one where they paired up even funnier
rudy is terry and wynn is holt in situations where brad isn’t either of them (i.e. terry’s health stuff and need to please, holt being the captain), walt is charles, captain america and encino man are scully + hitchcock (casey kasem is the vulture)
i don’t really know who gina is bc ray is the closest connection but he’s already jake- q-tip maybe? they’re pretty different but i suggest it only bc he uses slang he invented himself and i could see him in a mediocre at best hip hop group. also don’t know who is rosa aside from brad and there needs to be somebody else for mostly heist-related purposes; poke?? not a great fit by any means but i need him here
wynn, lecturing the precinct after they get in a brawl with the 9-8: brawling with other police officers, what were you thinking??
ray: sir i had nothing to do with this, i was arresting a dirty cop
wynn: i heard you scream “i love this!”
ray: yes,,, “this” being justice. i love justice
#youre a grand old flag youre high flying flag *ray wraps a pillow over his own had*#nate isnt a dorky as amy and ray isnt as cool as jake but sometimes thats how it goes#cool being in quotation marks for jake#nateray#generation kill#gen kill crack#its all i have#i dont know who anybody else is i dont even care#i contemplated it but i decided im ok w the relative ranks of the characters changing bc the officer-enlisted divide doesnt exist in this au#and nate is like three years younger than brad and even younger than some of the others#also i think the officer-enlisted system is dumb but thats for another time
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Steves-On-A-Plane Top 50 of All Time Ranked
1. August 17, 2016 - Future Mrs. Stark
Words: 828 [Tony Stark x Reader]
Part Two (583) / Part Three (2045) / Part Four (839) / Part Five (716)
2. May 8, 2018 - Fragile Midgardian
Words: 677 [Loki x Reader]
3. July 2, 2018 - Don't Get Attached
Words: 1072 [Connor (RK800) x Reader] w/ Dad!Hank Anderson
Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven/Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve / Part Thirteen / Part Fourteen / Part Fifteen / Part Sixteen / Part Seventeen / Part Eighteen / Part Nineteen / Part Twenty / Part Twenty-One / Part Twenty-Two /
4. May 25, 2018 - The Sentimental Type
Words: 1092 [Han Solo x Reader]
Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six /Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven /
5. July 25, 2018 - Say You Wont Let Go
Words: 1262 [Tony Stark x Reader]
6. February 8, 2017 - Star Spangled Gal
Words: 1233 [Steve Rogers x Reader]
Part Two (1042) / Part Three (983)
7. May 10, 2017 - The Trouble with T’Challa
Words: 1003 [T’Challa x Reader]
8. November 20, 2019 - Them
Words: 735, No Pairing, post Endgame emotions
9. April 9, 2017 - I Need You.
Words: 1828 [Bruce Banner x Reader]
*Warnings* Mentions of abusive relationship
10. April 24, 2017 - Jealous Eyes
Words: 1280 *This story has two possible endings*:
Words:1121 Part Two [ Steve Rogers x Reader] or
Words:1203 Part Two [Tony Stark x Reader]
11. July 11, 2018 - The Android Reservation
Words: 1459 Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Connor (RK800) & Hank Anderson
12. September 25, 2017 - Wishing On a Black Star
Words: 1462 [Bucky Barnes x Reader] W/ Dad!Tony Stark
13. July 15, 2017 - Cakes In the Rain
Words: 750 [Tony Stark x Reader]
Part Two (1204)
14. November 15, 2016 -For the Next Eighteen Years
Words: 1738 [Bucky Barnes x Reader] & Dad!Tony Stark
Part Two
15. September 25, 2016 - My Neighbor Is the Incredible Hulk
Words: 856 [Bruce Banner x Reader]
Part Two / Part Three /
16. March 14, 2016 - A Kiss For a Princess
Words: 649 [Peter Parker X Reader]
Part Two (648)/ Part Three (540) / Part Four (1081)
17. May 3, 2019 - Missed Connections
Words: 1912 [Steve Rogers x Reader]
18. October 10, 2018 - Grant & Ed
Words: 2018 [Steve Rogers x Tony Stark]
19. . May 13, 2019 - Ghosts
Words: 1523 [Loki x Reader]
20. June 8, 2017 - Edna & Bucky
Words: 860 [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
Part Two (715)
21. October 1, 2018 - The Parents’ Point’s Predicament
Words: 1097 [Steve Rogers x Reader]
22. June 5, 2019 - Padawan Problems
Words: 1218 [Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader]
23. April 7, 2020 - You Go Left, and I’ll Go Right.
Words: 2069 [Poe Dameron x Jedi!Reader]
24, January 26, 2018 - Finding Emma
Words: 1403 [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
25. June 5, 2020 - The Royal Goodbye
Words: 1675 [Maxwell Beaumont x Reader]
Part Two (1698)
26. May 7, 2020 - Run.
Words: 2132 [Tony Stark x Reader]
Part Two (2051) / Part Three (2469) / Part Four (1517) / Part Five(1266) / Part Six (2132) / Part Seven (2084)
27. January 14, 2018, - The Ever Loyal Mrs. Barnes
Words: 695 [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
28. May 5, 2018 - Worth Your Weight in Credits
Words: 694 [Han Solo x Reader]
29. July 23, 2019 - Can You Feel The Love Tonight?
Words: 2579 [Bruce Banner x Reader]
30. June 26, 2019 - Always My Favorite Deputy
Words: 1268 no pairing, Toy Story 4 Fix It.
Part Two (912)
31. May 10, 2019 - Him
Words: 879 [Sam Wilson x Reader]
32. January 26, 2919 - Just a Little Turbulence
Words: 893 [Steve Trevor x Reader]
33. December 29, 2019 - Under the Moons of Coruscant
Words: 1,111 [Obi Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader]
34. May 5, 2020 - Waiting For You
Words: 2278 [ Poe Dameron x Jedi!Reader]
35. April 6, 2020 - I’m The Love That You’ve Looked For
Words: 1239 [Bruce Banner x Reader]
Part Two (783)
36. March 12, 2020 - Wish You Were Here
Words: 1928 No Pairing, Daughter!Reader, Dad!Tony Stark, Post Endgame
37. March 25, 2019 - Rebel Tattoos
Words: 896 Reader Insert, No pairings
38. June 14, 2020 - Yesterday Came Suddenly
Words: 1320 [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
39. January 29, 2020 - Where Have You Been All This Time
Words: 1337 [Luke Skywalker x Reader]
40. June 2, 2018 - Just Run
Words: 1270 [Steve Rogers x Reader] w/Sam Wilson
41. June 23, 2018 - The Cape Closet Heist
Words: 991 [Lando Calrissian x Reader]
42. September 5, 2018 - The Weasley Sweater
Words: 572 [Bill Weasley x Reader]
43. October 24, 2018 - Draft Wayne Manor
Words: 700 [Bruce Wayne x Reader]
44. February 14, 2017 - Han Solo Sews Well
Words: 2013 [Han Solo x Reader]
45. March 25, 2017 - Coffee Break
Words: 695 [Bruce Wayne x Reader]
46. April 6, 2017 - Spider Son
Words: 997 Son!Peter Parker, Dad!Tony Stark x Mom!Reader
47. October 21, 2019 - Deviant Halloween
Words: 1415 [Connor (RK800) x Reader]
Part Two (780)
48. May 22, 2017 - The Last of the Jedi
Words: 593 [Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader]
49. June 6, 2016 - Language!
Words: 548 [Steve Rogers x Reader]
50. March 13, 2016 - Born To Fly
Words: 262 [Emma Swan x Neil Cassidy]
#Tony Stark#Steve Rogers#T'Challa#Bruce Banner#Connor RK800#Connor DBH#Hank Anderson#Peter Parker#Loki#Obi Wan Kenobi#Poe Dameron#Maxwell Beaumont#Han Solo#Sam Wilson#Steve Trevor#Luke Skywalker#Lando Calrissian#Bill Weasley#Bruce Wayne#Fan Fiction#FF#Fan Fic#Reader Insert#Best of#Masterlist
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The Peraltiago Polaroid Project
I started this project [both photos and headcanon list] a while back, a few days before ‘Casecation’ came out. I wanted to do a project with my idea of what Jake and Amy’s family growing process would be. I’m happy to say that it’s finished and i’m sharing it!!
The reason behind this post is that I’ve got this idea in my head that Jake bought Amy a polaroid camera to use for scrapbooking and he gave it to her at their wedding and she constantly used it.
Because this post is a dash-clogger, I’m gonna put a break in the post. Clicking ‘read more’, you’ll get to see each individual photo as well as the headcanons to go with them!!
I hope you like it :)
Warning: You may get a cavity from the amount of tooth rotting fluff below.
So! I’ll start off with the headcanons so the entirety of the photos don’t spoil it.
A few months after their 1 year anniversary, Jake and Amy decided to officially try to have a baby. They both came to the decision that they were ready to start their family.
To Amy’s surprise, she found out she was pregnant around the end of October. Which worked out almost perfectly because that meant she could finally be the one to surprise Jake at the halloween heist.
It was difficult to hide for the week she knew as she had terrible morning sickness and Jake was an amazing detective who would probably realize it soon. Still, she managed to hide it pretty well.
Right as Jake thought he’d won the heist, she replaced the heist object with the positive pregnancy test.
Jake passed out when he read it, obviously.
The squad found out that night when Amy was crowned Heist Queen because she did actually have the heist object in her possession. Even though it was really early, they announced it at Shaw’s Bar during her coronation.
Once the news set in that she was actually pregnant, Amy was mega terrified and had anxiety about being a mother. Jake on the other hand, was so excited that he couldn’t wait. Which was surprising since for a while he wasn’t too convinced he wanted kids at first.
Eventually, he convinced her that they would do just fine. He reminded her that there was a bomb at their wedding and everything worked out even if it didn’t work the way she planned it. That gave her a lot of mental relief.
At the first ultrasound, Jake and Amy found out that they were having identical twins. Jake passed out, again. This time, they wanted to keep the twins part a surprise to the squad.
At the gender reveal party, that’s when Jake and Amy decided to tell the squad that it was twins. They went with a simple reveal, opening a box that had the balloons coordinated to the color of the gender… except, they rolled out two boxes instead.
This time, Charles passed out instead.
Both boxes revealed pink balloons. They were having twin girls. Several squad members lost the bet of the gender being boy since Amy has 7 brothers.
Terry and Jake started a club, much like the DDC, but for fathers of twins. Poor Charles, he was so jealous.
As much as Amy was excited, she hated being pregnant. She was sick all the time, constantly in pain or agitated. She was actually relieved to find out she was having twins since she wasn’t sure she wanted to go through pregnancy again. At least she’d get two beautiful babies from the pain.
Because they weren’t sure if they wanted to have more biological children, Amy and Jake became certified to be foster parents just in case they ever wanted to foster to adopt.
The squad pretty much had to cuff Amy to her desk since she was not happy about being on desk duty for her pregnancy. She wanted to be in the field, but it just wasn’t safe.
By month 8, Amy had her birth plan entirely detailed and ready to go. She wanted to do a natural, medicine free birth and she planned for every single minute of her labor.
Of course, it didn’t go right at all. Her water broke early, she had several complications and eventually had to have an emergency c-section. Even though it was a stressful situation, Jake handled it like a champ — thanks to Sharon’s experience.
Two beautiful girls arrived healthy and happy, but more importantly, safely. Maci Jane and Mackenzie Ruth. Jake picked their first names and Amy picked their middle names.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love the names, but why Maci and Mackenzie?” Amy asked. “Because it sounds similar to McClane! Die Hard!” Amy didn’t mind, she was feeling pure bliss.
Amy picked the middle names in homage to Jane Eyre and Ruth Bader Ginsberg… obviously.
Parenting turned out to be a lot harder than they expected, especially with twins. Balancing work and babies, it was stressful. But that was okay because Amy did good under pressure. Jake on the other hand? He drank more caffeine in the first month than he did in his entire career... including when Rosa dosed him caffeine.
After her maternity leave was over, Amy thought she was excited to return. Thought, being the key word. It was hard, she missed her babies. Eventually, Jake and Amy decided to sign them up for the precinct’s day-care program. That way, they could both see the twins whenever they wanted to.
Around the time Maci and Mackenzie turned 4, Jake and Amy decided they wanted to try to have one more baby.
It wasn’t happening as quickly as they’d hoped and they were getting kind of bummed.
Right when Amy and Jake decided not to get their hearts set on having another baby, something amazing happened.
The 99th precinct had become a part of the ‘Safe Surrender’ program, where new mothers could anonymously and safely surrender their newborn child which would then be placed with a foster family if they were in a place where they couldn’t raise a child.
A little newborn baby boy was surrendered to the precinct and Amy was assigned to watch the baby until family services showed up to figure out what to do.
Instantly, Amy bonded with the nameless little guy. She spent the entire day in the soft room with him, rocking him and feeding him. Because he didn’t have a name, she just called him ‘Buddy’
When family services showed up later that evening, Amy could barely let go of the little guy. In the spur of the moment, Amy and Jake offered to foster him… they were already certified.
“Are we gonsta ‘dopt him, daddy?” Mackenzie had been the first to ask the question when they walked in the door with a brand new baby that nobody was expecting. “You know, Sweet Pea. I think we’re gonna keep him around for a while. How does that sound?”
After a few weeks, Amy and Jake decided that ‘buddy’ needed a name. A real, official name. That’s when they chose ‘Charlie Raymond Peralta’, after Charles and Holt, respectively. They still called him Buddy, but now he had an actual name.
Charles passed out, again
Because Amy and Jake had ties with the judges and family services, as well as being with the baby from almost birth, they were able to rush the process of adoption. At 6 months old, Charlie officially became a Peralta.
Amy eventually became a captain [youngest in NYPD history] and Jake ranked up and decided to remain a Lieutenant for a while. He liked his work as a detective, but he wasn’t quite interested in being a captain.
Their children made them extremely proud, not just because of their accomplishments though.
Maci became an Assistant District Attorney, eventually becoming the District Attorney of Brooklyn
Mackenzie enlisted in the police academy and earned her way to the top. She eventually became the youngest Police Commissioner of the NYPD.
Charlie took a bit of a different career path and instead enlisted in the Navy. Even though he wasn’t biologically Amy’s child, he sure acted like it. His persistence and hard work ranked him up to an E-9 Master Chief
and Amy captured every moment of it with the little polaroid camera Jake gave to her on their wedding day.
#peraltiago#abigail draws#**#jake peralta#amy santiago#b99#brooklyn nine nine#brooklyn 99#peraltiago baby#brooklyn nine nine headcanons#peraltiago headcanons#brooklyn nine nine fanart#peraltiago fanart#peraltiago fanfiction#b99 fanfiction#fanfic#headcanon
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Predictions for B99 season 7?
Sorry for taking so long to answer this! I was finishing a rewatch to refresh myself on Season 6 and forgot about it.... This is a mixture of predictions and hopes because I hope they don’t take the obvious path with a lot of things that might happen!
To be honest I am really curious to see what happens as there’s a few things happening at the end of S6 I’m not sure how they’ll resolve, like Holt’s new position. At first I was like “Terry should become Captain!” but he still has to pass his lieutenants exam so he’s not high enough ranked yet. Maybe that will come later when Holt becomes Lord High Commander of All Justice.
Holt will probably be reinstated as Captain eventually - it’s happened several times before - but I kinda want them to do something else with it? Like, he goes straight to being Commissioner or something. It’s just happened so often we know new Captains never last. It would be cool to see a slight twist on it.
I’m almost certain Jake & Amy are going to have a baby. Personally I’m kinda bored of pregnancy storylines in general bc they seem to be so inevitable & escapable and I don’t particularly connect with or enjoy them so I struggle to get as on board/excited as some people do about it BUT they will be happy about it and I will be happy for them, and Jake is going to have an opportunity to be a great dad and I’m so proud of him bc he’s learnt a lot about responsibility etc over the seasons that will allow his fun dadding to also be functional dadding.
We’ll have a Halloween Heist but it won’t be on Halloween it’ll be some other holiday. I’ve heard some people floating Cinco de Mayo? I’ve absorbed a few bts bits and pieces but haven’t gone looking so I’m not sure how certain it is but I did see a tweet of the channel ‘forgetting’ when Halloween was. Maybe that means they’re going to do it on a different day (bc oops, they forgot).
I hope Rosa and Jocelyn stay together. They seem quite serious and had some solid talks last season about Rosa ditching her all the time for work and that sort of stuff. It’d be sad to see them put so much effort into something to end up ending it anyway, especially if it’s ended off screen/hand-waved like with Ashleigh(?) moving to London. However, I also like Steph’s idea of dating at least one man and one woman and it being shown/treated with equal seriousness/screen-time etc (eg. Pimento & Jocelyn) and then having a third partner after them which would live true to the multi gender attraction but still allow Rosa to end up with someone based on chemistry. Having her end up with a man (and subsequently being accused of not being queer enough etc) would reflect Steph’s own journey as well thus far so for that reason I would have some extra appreciation for that.
I’ve also heard some people say they want her to date a guy again because she’s ‘only dated girls since she’s come out’ but imo that’s not true; we don’t know the gender of everyone she’s dated since she’s come out there’s a few she’s been deliberately ambiguous on. However again I do see the point because historically rep-wise if bisexuality isn’t portrayed as some distant laughable phase it can get washed over to appear as though oh they’re lesbian now rather than bi. However, I think Rosa’s ongoing bisexuality can be reinforced in other ways though like checking guys out or remarking on their attractiveness, or talking other genders she has dated in the past or would never actually be able to date like celebrity crushes, or about other bi people, bi social events/spaces or friends, or bi stereotypes (eg promiscuity - what if she’s serious enough w Jocelyn to consider marriage? that could bring up issues with her parents, strangers, etc.), or talking to Holt about their differences in experience as homosexual/bisexual, rather than necessarily dating another guy. There’s a lot more creative scope for it that I feel gets overlooked.
(and not to be a mildly bitter enby but I also notice that nobody I have seen asking for her to date a guy again has brought up nonbinary people. In fact I haven’t ever heard anyone bring up nonbinary people in relation to Rosa’s bi rep or those people she specifically used they/them pronouns to talk about and didn’t reveal their gender when Boyle asked. Maybe Rosa should date a nonbinary person or talk about nonbinary people she’s dated in the past? this could also potentially lead to a discussion on the misnomer that bi ppl are trans/enby exclusionist by nature)
I am also intrigued to see Holt + the Commissioner position and how it will play out now that Wunch is Commissioner. On the one hand, it doesn’t make sense to ~come to terms~ with it etc a) he has genuine reasons to deserve and desire to have a position of power and b) when his worst enemy has like, the One Thing He Wants In Life -- but on the other hand, he’s got a comedically unhealthily desperate drive to be Commissioner which, while comedic, is still unhealthily desperate. On several occasions over the seasons he’s referred to it as stuff like, what defines him as a man and what tethers him to the earth etc etc. I think it would be good for him to find something else instead and/or it would be good writing to make him choose between the position and something else very important to him eg Kevin. He has been known for ditching Kevin in the past very frequently for police things (and has even admitted that he feels bad about this and that not getting the position made him regret it). Will we get to see Kevin’s reaction to this? Maybe Kevin is like ‘you know, you do ditch me a lot and i don’t love that.’ especially following the safehouse. but maybe he’s like ‘wtf are you talking about you’re the best police officer in the universe and you deserve everything’. Maybe a little bit of both? That whole ‘with the right people we can handle anything?’ KEVIN is the right people. I do hope he gets the position, or equivalent emotional fulfilment eventually, I just think they could do more with the journey and especially the relationship.
So... those are some predictions/hopes of mine! If you want to discuss or share yours with me feel free to hit up my ask box
#brooklyn 99#rosa diaz#captain holt#peraltiago#life of a fangirl#ask me stuff#srsly tho i'm not looking to judge anyone else's hopes/predictions just sharing some of my own im chill#Anonymous
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