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bullet-clubs-bitch · 3 months

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Could you please do a hc of any of the wrestlers you write for reacting to their so telling them they are Pregnant please?

AEW Wrestlers Pregnancy Headcanons

Aew wrestlers reacting to you telling them you are pregnant with there child

Wrestlers Mentioned: Billy Gunn, Cash Wheeler, CM Punk, David Finlay, MJF

Main Masterlist Part 2

Billy Gunn

When you told Billy you were pregnant he was shocked

He coudn't believe that he would be a father again when his two sons were in there late 20s-early 30s

He was scared but exited

Sure it was a suprise but what was he expecting

Sure he was older but having a younger girlfriend with high fertility could allow for something like this to happen

When he told his sons the news they didn't know what to think, they could have children themselves, how would you feel if your sibling had a 30 year age gap.

During your pregnancy Billy would spoil you, protecting you from the media, not wanting the negitive publicity cause stress to you and your baby

Billy promised he would be there for every ounce of your pregnancy and he was a saint

Cash Wheeler

When Cash found out you were pregnant he was beyond exited

He coudn't wait to share the news with his best friend Dax

Cash spent years looking up to the relationship with Dax and his wife, he always wanted to have children of his own

Being a first time dad Cash wanted to make sure everything was perfect, he read every book, he took an online course, he wanted to be the perfect dad

Cash would spoil your uborn child, he would bring home souvenears from every city he visited

He insisted on building everything himself, he built a beautful nursery

Cash would be the best father, he would love your child so much

The two of them would grow up to be best friends

CM PUNK

For some reason I feel like CM Punk would either be so supportive or would leave, no in between

CM Punk is the type to have a controversaly young girlfriend who he would eventualy leave for a younger girl (Don't get me wrong I love Punk I'm feeling this vibe rn)

The reason why CM Punk doesn't have kids at 45 isn't because of the multiple unstable relationships he has had. It's because he is scared of the idea of having kids, scared of the responsibility

When you told Punk you were pregnant he said nothing, he just held you as you cried.

You were scared and he was terrfied

He knew he would be a bad dad, he didn't want the responsibility of taking care of a human life

One day you woke up and he wasn't next to you

You looked around your shared appartment to see all of his things gone, the only think left was a note that read "I'm sorry" that was placed next to a waud of cash.

David Finlay

After being friends with bennfits with David Finlay you would fall pregnant

It was a shock, you had no idea how David would react

When you told David he was just as shocked as you were

It took him a while to even form words but when he did they were nothing but words of support

He wanted to support you, he was onboard with whatever you wanted to do, after all it was your body

He was exatic when he found out you wanted to keep your baby

He coudn't wait to be a dad

Some of the other members of Bullet Club teased him for it but he didn't care

David Finlay was made to be a father, he is such a daddy

He would protect you and your son, he would do ANYTHING to keep you safe, even ......murder

Maxwell Jacob Friedman

When you told Max you were pregnat he almost fainted

Sure he wanted kids but not now

The first thing he thought of was leaving, it was a coward move but he was scared

He booked a weekend trip claiming it was for work and left for a few days to compose himself

When he returned it was like he was a diffrent man

He became exited, he would buy matching burberry outfits for him and your future child

Max would marry you immediately and promise to be there through it all and he was

Max would spoil your child with expensive things and designer clothing

He would end up being a great father

An: I hope you enjoyed it!

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weclassybouquetfun · 21 days

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What an achievement for Dev Patel.

MONKEY MAN is lit, it's fire, it's bananas

it's a wild action, vibrant, brutal action flick that is right up there with the best of the best.

It's very easy to compare it to the JOHN WICK film (the JOHN WICK stunt team was to do the fight choreography but in one of the multitudes of bad luck that happened to the film during production namely Covid 19, but including the studio going bankrupt, Patel's gaffer dying from a heart attack, losing the location he scouted for four to five months, having to move the shoot from India to Indonesia, thus losing much of the production team and their equipment and Patel breaking his hand on his very first stunt, and injuring his foot when a stuntman stepped on it) Patel lost the stunt team), and while Patel has said his influences were bombastic Bollywood action films and Korean revenge films; for me, not as versed in those films, an easy reference is THE RAID. So if you like that brand of action, you would love MONKEY MAN.

What I especially loved is that after the first act the action levels out, which is great because when it is incessant (as I found JOHN WICK 4), it's mind-numbing, so with act two, you get breathing room and a deeper dive into the story and it gives more depth to the film.

-Dev Patel is just one of the many SKINS cast members who are having a moment. What are some of the others up to?

-Jacob Anderson was in only one SKINS episode but he has remained in the fold somehow.

He even invited the gang to his wedding.

and was on GAME OF THRONES with Joe Dempsie and Hannah Murray.

Anderson can be seen May 12th in series two of AMC+'s INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, where he plays the long living, long-suffering Louis du Pointe du Lac.

-Jack O'Connell, pictured with young Jacob, will reportedly be the villain in Michael B. Jordan and Ryan Googler's next team-up.

Jack can be seen S.A.S ROGUE HEROES.

-The cast reunited at another wedding a few years ago based on pics posted by Kaya Scodelario and five years ago at a Golden Globes celebration.

Kaya can be currently seen in Netflix's THE GENTLEMEN.

-Also on Netflix is Daniel Kaluuya's directorial debut THE KITCHEN.

during his time on SKINS, Kaluuya also pitched storylines and co-wrote a few episodes for the series.

-Nicky Hoult, who played the lecherous Tony, is our future Lex Luthor in James Gunn's SUPERMAN LEGACY.

Yes, he looks like a giant Caillou - what of it?

#dev patel #monkey man #skins uk #skins #skins alum #jacob anderson #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #iwtv #kaya scodelario #the gentlemen #daniel kaluuya #the kitchen #jack o'connell #sas rogue heroes #nicholas hoult #superman legacy #lex luthor

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 9 months

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Is It Really That Bad?

I don’t think I’ve ever felt like the universe actively conspired against something until I witnessed the production of The Flash.

Since 1991 there have been quite a few proposals for Flash movies, but they never really got off the ground for whatever reason. Following Barry’s debut in Justice League, a movie finally was announced before multiple delays due to rewrites, in particular to cut Ray Fisher’s Cyborg from the story after he went public about the awful shit he had to deal with under Joss Whedon. Things seemed hopeless until It director Andy Muschietti came onboard, at which point production on the film finally started to go smoothly. Sure, there were rumblings about Ezra Miller having episodes on set, but that’s just typical actor nonsense, right? Surely it couldn’t get any worse!

Look, I’m here to review a movie so I’ll keep this brief: Miller committed crimes. Lots of crimes. So many, in fact, you’d think they were method acting for the role of Reverse-Flash. The thing is, despite all of this, Miller was basically given a slap on the wrist by the studio, being forbidden from doing promos and press tours (oh no! The horror!). And as if the situation wasn’t already a fucking mess, while Miller’s crime spree was ongoing WB canned the nearly-complete Batgirl movie that featured Michael Keaton and Academy Award-winning actor Brendan Fraser while simultaneously inflating The Flash’s budget to nearly $300 million with reshoots. It seems baffling to cancel a movie that was nearly done and that people were marginally interested in for the sake of a movie that people were losing interest in quickly due to its star’s erratic behavior, but remember: Leslie Grace isn’t white, while Ezra Miller is. WB is never beating those racism allegations at this rate.

With a normal movie, this is where the nonsense ends. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

This film was meant to smooth out the clusterfuck continuity of the “Snyderverse” with a soft reboot, with Henry Cavill filming a end-of-movie cameo alongside Miller, Gal Gadot, Keaton, and Supergirl’s actress Sasha Calle to establish the new direction of DC going forward. Unfortunately, the hierarchy of power at DC changed, and Gunn shot that down. While this meant the ending would probably not get people confused with regards to upcoming projects, it also meant the movie wasn’t going to really have any closure for the old universe. Affleck, Cavill, and who knows who else are just gone, and the future is just a big old question mark. At least Aquaman is safe, maybe?

Literally none of this news was very reassuring to fans. Nothing above is any good for a film’s perception to audiences under normal circumstances, but here we have all this news coming to a fanbase that genuinely did not want this fucking movie. The DCEU was already divisive when the film was announced, and Miller’s portrayal of Barry doubly so; the fact it was adapting Flashpoint was seen as lazy and uninspired, not to mention its not really a story that lets Flash stand on his own merits, making it seem more like this movie was just an excuse to reboot; it was a multiverse story in a day and age with an abundance of such stories, and it was releasing around the same time as Across the Spider-Verse to boot; and Gunn’s reboot plans meant this story was likely a narrative dead end. This movie had an uphill battle the likes of which haven’t been seen since Sisyphus.

But much like that mythological figure, the boulder came crashing right back down when the numbers came in. The movie would likely need to gross $500 million at minimum to break even after factoring in the reshoots and advertising, and it only managed half of that with a pitiful opening weekend followed by a massive 73% drop. It now sits alongside films like The Lone Ranger and Mortal Engines as one of the most expensive bombs in history, to the point where WB would have saved more money by cancelling it like they did with Batgirl. And despite glowing praise from the likes of Tom Cruise and Stephen King, it received middling reviews from mainstream critics.

Audiences haven’t been any less mixed, but considering most people weren’t particularly excited or invested in this film’s existence this is basically a miracle. Sure, there’s plenty of people out there saying this is the “worst comic book movie ever” like they do every time a new superhero movie drops, but even more people are saying they enjoyed the film… although even they tend to have some severe criticisms.

Even though I knew most of what was going to happen in the movie going in, I wasn’t really sure what to expect given everything surrounding the movie. But you know me, I’m willing to give almost any movie a chance, and bombs this big don’t happen every day, so even before it was voted on I was trying to make time to check it out. So sit down, microwave yourself a snack—

—and watch as I try and determine if The Flash is really that bad.

THE GOOD

The biggest shock of this film is that Ezra Miller is actually really good here.

Their Barry is still a bit of a goofball, but he’s clearly matured as a character since his precious appearances. They managed to make him much more charming and likable than he ever was, and this gets compounded when he interacts with the younger Barry and gets confronted with how annoying he was before. I think young Barry could have come off as really insufferable, but the fact he annoys everyone around him and also ends up maturing makes him a lot more endearing.

Miller really kills it with the emotional moments, particularly the ending encounter with Barry’s mom and the scene where old Barry snaps at young Barry. The film is really carried by the dramatic, emotional moments far more than any of the superheroics, and Miller manages to sell a lot of it very well. It was to the point where I started thinking, “I really wouldn’t mind if they stick around.” Then a scene where Barry says the Justice League has no real psychiatric help or where his younger self ends up repeatedly exposing himself in public by accident happens, and then I remembered, “Oh yeah, aren’t they a mentally unwell criminal?”

Unsurprisingly, Michael Keaton absolutely kills it in his role as Batman, but much more shockingly is that Ben Affleck's brief return as Bruce is pretty great as well. I always thought Affleck, much like Henry Cavill, was desperately trying to give a great performance while weighed down by bad writing; here, he gets an actual poignant scene where he talks to Barry about how dwelling on tragedies isn't the way to do things, and you should try and move forward instead. It shows he really could have been great if given better material to work with.

Okay, enough being nice to Affleck, I wanna talk about Keaton again. As much as the marketing hyped him up and as much as he is obviously the most blatant fanservice possible, it's still so cool to see him in the suit again. I am not immune to nostalgia pandering, and as corny as it could have been from anyone else, the zoom into his face when he says The Line really is a highlight of the movie. Keaton has a great deal of charisma, and while there are issues with Batman they aren't his fault at all. Most impressively, he doesn't steal the show away from Miller like I thought he would; he enhances the scenes he's in without stealing the spotlight completely from their performance. I feel like this is a problem in a lot of movies like this, where the lead gets overshadowed by a hyped up character, but somehow The Flash of all things managed to avoid this.

And as bad as the cameos could get, this movie gave two of the greatest cameos ever put to film with the return of the GOAT George Clooney Batman and, best of all, Nicolas Cage Superman from the unmade Superman Lives, fighting a giant spider to the death just as God intended. I am not immune to the charms of Nicolas Cage.

Overall, this movie presents us with a solid story, plenty of fun moments, great character dynamics, and more... for the first two acts, anyway.

THE BAD

Once this movie hits the third act, it basically just loses any and all focus and becomes a big dumb video game-esque battle against Zod and his forces in a bland desert landscape. While both Barrys admittedly get some pretty cool moments sprinkled in and Keaton’s Batman’s second death is actually a well done emotional moment, Supergirl ends up being completely wasted, with her sole role being to angrily scream and then die repeatedly.

This actually highlights the problem with Kara in this movie: She’s basically nothing but a plot device and has zero personality, and a good 80% of her dialogue is just angry screaming. As hot as Sasha Calle is and how much she obviously wants to make Kara compelling, she is given so little to work with that her efforts end up being fruitless. She does nothing of consequence after helping Barry get his powers back, and could be replaced or written out of the story and it would still make perfect sense.

Zod’s inclusion is pretty baffling as well, especially since they chose to water down one of the only good things from Man of Steel into a boring, generic doomsday villain. You can really feel that poor Michael Shannon would rather be doing anything else, and his bored performance just highlights how poorly implemented Zod is in the plot. Like, the Fladh has some of the best and most colorful DC villains in his rogues gallery, one’s that are often overlooked because Batman’s villains sell more toys. Why not highlight some of them instead of taking a Superman villain and stripping him of all personality to the point the actor clearly has no passion for the role? Cutting Zod would make cutting Supergirl even easier, and then two of the biggest problems with the movie are gone!

The third act does manage to mostly rerail itself once it goes back to Barry trying to unfuck the timeline, with only a disgustingly egregious bit of fanservice that I’ll discuss in the next section hampering it. But at the end, despite the incredibly based George Clooney cameo, there’s just so many unresolved and unanswered questions, with the biggest one being who killed Barry’s mom? Considering her death is what kickstarted the whole plot, you’d think this might come up, but it never does. A lot of other things come up and get dropped too, like whatever was going on with Batman in the opening, but maybe I’m just crazy for wanting elements introduced in a plot to have significance beyond just being there to be cool.

Even beyond that, there’s the fact that Supergirl and Keaton!Batman’s final fates are never really resolved, something that apparently wasn’t a problem in early versions of the film since they showed up alive in the final scene. As much as I loved seeing Clooney, I think trading him for getting some closure for Keaton and Calle would have been more satisfying.

Everyone harps on how bad the CGI is—and it absolutely is, don’t get me wrong—but for the most part I found it endearingly bad. Like the opening with the CGI babies? That’s too goofy for me to hate. But once the movie revolves into bland grey and black CGI bad guys and creepy deepfake celebrity cameos, I stop being quite so forgiving.

Oh, and on the subject of cameos, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one as pointless and unfunny as Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman showing up out of nowhere (complete with theme music) to make Bruce and Barry look like dumb assholes. Imagine thinking this was a good idea.

THE UGLY

The biggest point of contention surrounding this movie is the CGI necromancy used in the aforementioned cameo clusterfuck from the climax, which gives us George Reeve, Christopher Reeves, and Adam West posthumously reprising their DC roles in non-speaking appearances (there’s archived audio from West, but his cameo isn't really focused on to the point you can barely tell it's him) where they just stand there before the camera swoops around like in that Saul Goodman gif.

I think this is one of the very few times where I actually think the outrage is mostly justified. To be clear, I’m not getting mad on behalf of dead celebrities I never knew, and as long as the filmmakers went through the proper channels and the estates of these stars were properly compensated, I don’t have any legal objections. All of my distaste is coming from a subjective, moral standpoint.

I have never liked this CGI necromancy ever since Rogue One popularized it. I find it really gross and distasteful, and in most cases I think finding a lookalike actor would be preferable than playing Weekend at Bernie’s with a computer generated facsimile of a dead person. In The Flash, I understand having lookalikes would diminish the wow factor of the crossover, but there was an extremely easy workaround to this: Have cameos from all the living DC stars.

Was Brandon Routh not available to put on the Superman tights? Would it have been so bad to let Grant Gustin pop in for a cameo? They acknowledge Helen Slater, so why not Melissa Benoist? Hell, if you want to reference bad, campy movies, have Shaq show up as Steel or Josh Brolin pop in as Jonah Hex! Or even Ryan Reynolds, I’d bet he’d be down to return if you gave him a real suit this time!

Like there’s just no excuse for ghoulishly parading around dead guys when there’s so many alive guys you could use instead. People can complain all they want about the fanservice and cameos in the past few Spider-Man films, but at least they only had returning characters played by living actors. And when this movie already has the niche, out-there Nic Cage Superman cameo, proving they were down to do things as out there and inoffensively creative as reference unmade movies, it’s really just inexcusable. It doesn’t ruin the movie for me, but it makes me lose a bit of respect for the people who okayed this over less offensive cameo ideas.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

To my surprise, this film actually turned out to be pretty good. Not “great,” not “the best superhero movie ever,” but genuinely mostly good and enjoyable.

My opinion is that the movie is good in spite of itself. The third act is truly a hot mess, the stupid desert battle against Zod is awful and boring, Supergirl is depressingly pointless, so many plot points are just dropped or otherwise forgotten, and the CGI necromancy is nothing short of ghoulish. But the rest of the movie is truly a lot of fun. Barry and his younger self have a fun dynamic, Keaton really manages to take what little he’s given and show that he’s still got it as Batman, the Clooney and Cage cameos were delightful, and most importantly the emotional moments are actually effective.

I think with a bit more polish this film could have actually lived up to the hype around it. There is a great movie in here being suffocated by fanservice and CGI but still managing to get a few gasps of air regardless. I think if they’d kept the conflict more grounded or made Reverse-Flash the primary antagonist, things might have turned out better.

I think its score is pretty fair. My friend @huyh172 described this as “the worst good DC movie,” and it’s an assessment I fully agree with. It’s not as good as Aquaman, Wonder Woman, The Suicide Squad, the Snyder Cut, or Shazam!, and it’s definitely not as bad as stuff like Wonder Woman 1984 or Josstice League. It’s also a bit too enjoyable to be mid. It’s just a really solid movie held back from true greatness by some damning flaws… and really, that makes it the perfect capstone to the "Snyderverse," a cinematic universe that had some solid movies but was held back from greatness by incredibly bad ones.

#Is It Really that bad?#IIRTB #review #movie review #The Flash #The Flash 2023 #Ezra Miller #andy muschietti #DC #DCEU #Snyderverse #Michael Keaton #Batman #Sasha Calle #Supergirl #Barry Allen #superhero movie

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thesupreme316 · 4 months

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Had It Coming Part 4!?!?!?!!

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING SO HERE IT IS

Had It Coming Part 4 (Christian Cage x Female Reader/Hook's Sister/Jack Perry's Ex):

Summary: It seems that you and Christian are going strong. But how does that sit with your ex-boyfriend, Jack Perry?

Word Count: 2.3K (Please accept as an apology for being so late)

Supreme Speaks: thank you guys so much for supporting this series and showing it love. it really means a lot to me. okay, I ain't gonna waste your time any longer. Here is the anticipated part four of this series (it has a dark portrayal of Jack, you don't have to read if you're uncomfortable). Please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: DARK PORTRAYAL OF JACK (tw: obsessive, stalking, in the denial stage, borderline yandere vibes tbh), suggestive mentions, explicit language, proofread to the best of my abilities

Taglist: @hooks-martin @sheinthatfandom @triscillal @cassie0sstuff @hookerforhook @batzy-watzy @wwenhlimagines

It’s been 33 days since he saw you walk away from him with his former mentor and best friend.

And Jack is going crazy.

He legitimately lost it.

Everyone can see it on his face. But they can’t help him…they can only watch as he unravels and continues to ruin his own life. After seeing you run off in the sunset with Christian, Jack became uncharacteristically silent. He wouldn’t even talk to Anna, and when he did, it was screaming and placing blame on her. Anna, who truly wanted to help him, was broken up with before she could even do so. You found that out in the locker room as she was crying to Tay Melo, a sight that was so bittersweet for you to watch.

Jack would walk around the halls, bags under his eyes, genuine stress marrying his facial features, wearing all-black clothes, hair matted, and not utter a single word to anyone. It got so bad that Tony wouldn’t even put him on the screen. He would spend his evenings in the arenas sitting in a corner on top of boxes, just looking over your contact. His thumb would caress your face through the phone screen as his eyes lingered on the contact name “Sunshine.” He tried texting you, asking for you to come back. You never answered. For some reason, he thought changing your name and breaking up with Anna would be enough for you to come back.

It wasn’t.

But even though you didn’t come near him, two people would come near him, offering friendship and shoulders to lean on: Austin and Colton Gunn. They would try their best to get Jack chatting with them as they filled his ears with loud jokes, obnoxious laughter, and weird banter. Although he never cracked a smile, the Gunns were resilient and still provided him with company.

“Hey, Jackie-boy,” Austin said cheerfully, walking up to the sulking wrestler, who would mumble a response. “How ya doing?”

“Man you should have been at the party last night,” Colton said bumping his shoulder. “You could use a night out. There was this insanely cute girl that is exactly your type-” Jack shook his head. Colton looked at his brother before nodding to Jack.

Austin sighed, “Look man, we get it that it’s been a rough month and a half. You lost your best friend, other best friend, title, and girlfriend-“

“I didn’t lose Y/N.” Jack snapped, looking up at the brothers.

Colton and Austin quickly side-eyed each other before Austin continued, “I was talking about Anna…but bro and I mean this respectfully, Y/N left you a while ago.”

“Anna and I were never together. She doesn’t matter to me. Y/N didn’t leave me. We are just going through a rough patch right now.” Jack said while running his fingers through his hair. “It’s not my fault.”

“We’re not saying that it is. We’re just trying to say that maybe there is no future where you and Y/N are together. You need to accept it.”

“No, I’m not going to accept it because it’s not true!” He shouted, startling the Gunns, with Colton hugging Austin in fear. Jack lowered his voice as he continued to talk, “It’s not my fault. It’s not her fault. It’s Christian’s fault.” He whispered to himself. “I didn’t lose my beautiful, innocent, and sweet girlfriend to Christian. That could never happen. He took her from me! Just like how he took my best friend and credit for my career. He just takes everything from me.”

Colton said taking a step forward, “Jack-“

Jack stood up from the boxes, looking into Colton’s eyes with anger, determination, and bitterness, “He filled her head with these images that I’m not the one for her. That he’s better than me. He basically kidnapped her, come to think about it. Yeah…he kidnapped my precious Y/N and started feeding these lies to her. And to make matters worse, Anna came back into the picture and distracted me from realizing it. That’s what happened.” He poked Colton’s chest as he finished his statement, “And I fully intend to get her back.” He swiftly walked away from the brothers as they stared in disbelief.

Austin looked up at Colton, “He is not okay. Where do you think he’s going?”

“It’s 9:00, he's off to do his favorite activity.”

That consisted of Jack watching you from afar when you were by yourself or with your girlfriends; curious if you missed him, if you cried over him, if you were dying to run back to him for safety, comfort, and love.

The answer was no. None of the above.

But the second he saw you with Christian, his stomach would turn and he would run away, not wanting to see the bitter and disgusting man with the love of his life. Jack is miserable, but you? Oh girl, you are thriving right now.

It seemed the longer you and Christian dated, the bigger the smile on your face would get. As Christian stated, if you wanted something, all you had to do was ask. And he has continued to keep that promise. Nowadays, all you have to do is look at him as it seems that he can read your mind. The newest Louboutin heels? He bought them in 5 different colors. You feeling stressed and want to escape? He booked a yacht. You want to ride something while on the yacht? He’s already underneath you, allowing you to take control.

He was a gentleman to you; dropping everything just to assist you, even for a second. You didn’t have to worry about doing a single thing. As long as Christian is beside you, you are sure to be treated like the Princess you are. Hell, he even changed your stance in wrestling. As you were no longer bound by Jack, you took the necessary steps to reconcile with your brother, Tyler (Hook).

As Christian filled your life with love, positivity, and care, you realized that the FTW championship wasn’t something you wanted. So after a couple of defenses, you relinquished it, crowned Tyler the official champion, and started to manage Christian full-time.

But this wasn’t a parasitic relationship where you got all the benefits. Oh no. Christian loved being around you. It just felt right having you near him, with a hand lingering around your waist. Not only did you feed every single one of his sexual and physical needs, you also met and exceeded his emotional needs. You made him feel heard and seen. You see him in a different light than everyone else. He is letting his humane side be seen more now that you are always with him. Because to you, he is more than your lover, he is your protector and motivation.

He is also a great man of taste…

“Willow, he is so sweet! Just yesterday, he drove 45 minutes to sleep beside me because I couldn’t fall asleep. And then, he brought a chef to cook my favorite breakfast!” You yelled out to your best friend while getting dressed for Dynamite.

“That’s great Y/N, I’m so happy to see you smiling again. I haven’t seen you this happy in a while.” Willow said with a grin on her face. To everyone, your relationship with Christian was no more than a typical “sugar baby” transaction. But it was nothing like that, and Willow saw that.

You stepped out in your new dress that complimented your skin tone beautifully. “I know, he truly makes me happy.” As you were about to speak again, there was a knock at the door. You squealed, running to open it and seeing a medium-sized bouquet of white roses. You thanked the man before closing the door. “He always sends me flowers every Wednesday.” You said as you put the vase down. Willow got up and examined them. “But he never gets me white; they’re either red, pink, or orange.”

“Maybe he’s full of surprises,” Willow said as she got closer to the vase. There was another knock at the door, you went to answer it as Willow started to speak again. “Y/N, there is-“ She was cut off by your sequel again. She looked back at you to see you give Christian a soft kiss.

“Hi Princess, how are you?” Christian said hugging you with one arm, the other was behind his back. He twirled you around, “You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you, baby.” You said, placing a kiss on his cheek. Christian greeted Willow while still trying to hide his arm behind his back. “What are you hiding?”

“Well, it is Wednesday and you know I give you flowers-“

You smiled as you cut him off, “Baby, I already got the flowers you sent me. They are beautiful.”

Christian’s face screwed up in confusion, “What are you talking about?” He moved his arm from behind his back to reveal a much larger bouquet of red roses. “The flowers I got you are right here, I wanted to personally deliver them myself today.”

The color drained from your face as you took your boyfriend’s flowers and looked behind you. Willow held the roses in one hand and a paper in the other, as she read the note, the color drained from her face as well. “You need to read this.” She gave you the note. It would have been a very sweet and flattering one….if it was sent from your boyfriend.  

Your laughter, a melody, a joyful song, In my embrace, is where you belong. Each moment with you, a cherished delight, You're my sunshine, my morning light. Love J

Your heart started racing as Christian ripped the note, took the flowers from Willow, and them in the trash. “He’s a piece of shit. That bastard.” He looked at you, who was in shock and disgust. He hugged you tightly, avoiding the roses he got you. “He just needs to leave you alone.”

“Yeah, I’m going to make sure of it.” You said before gently placing the red roses down on the table, taking over from where those distracting and bitter white roses once were.

 “No, you will not. You let me handle it, I don’t him anywhere near you. He put you through shit before and I’m not letting that happen.” Christian said getting angrier by the minute, obviously not at you. “I’m going to get Luchasuarus to accompany you tonight. My woman will not go anywhere near him.” He said sternly.

Did you listen? No. Of course not. You left way before Luchasaurus got to your locker room door.

Your heels clicked along the halls as you were trying to find your ex-boyfriend. Anger was pounding through your blood as you carefully looked for him. You were about to turn to go down another hallway until you saw his matted hair in a bun. You stormed towards him, calling out his name. Jack turned around and immediately lit up at your figure getting closer, even though your facial expression was anything but happy.

"Y/N-"

You cut him off by sharply slapping him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" You angrily asked him, not giving him a moment to register anything.

"Sunshine-" He sweetly started to say

"How dare you send me flowers and address me like that? We are not together. That was clear when you cheated on me with Anna"

Jack's face became angry as he spat out, "Don't talk like that. Anna means nothing to me. You love me and I love you. That backstabbing, lunatic, bastard is messing with your mind. Sunshine, just come back with me. Stop this little game of yours, you're letting him get the best of you."

"Jack, stop. I am with Christian; he treats me with love and respect. He actually cares about me and my feelings and treats me like royalty. Much better than the low-down and disgusting ways that you have shown. The only lunatic around here is you. You don't care about me."

"Don't say that!" He yelled, grabbing your arm harshly, "I love you Y/N! He's not the one! I am! Just come back with me and everything will be fine!"

You were struggling to pull your arm away from the man you once loved. Then a voice shouted down the hall, making Jack take his hand off of you. You turned around to find your boyfriend and your supposed bodyguard. Christian gently placed you behind him. "I'll talk to you later about this." He quietly said to you before turning his attention to Jack. "Listen, you have one more time to pull some shit like this-"

"Shut up! This is between me and my girlfriend-"

"MY girlfriend, MY woman, your ex. You have no reason to talk to her anymore. I'll be damned if you try to come between us or weasel your way back into her life." Christian stepped closer to Jack, looking down at him. "Leave her the fuck alone, little boy. Or the next main event for you will be your funeral."

Jack rolled his eyes as Christian grabbed your hand and kissed it before leading you and Luchasaurus down the hallway, away from your ex. You quickly looked back with bitterness and a glare as you turned the corner. But to Jack, that was a look of hope and desperation.

Desperation to get away from Christian, the man who drove you two apart. But also he could have sworn that your eyes were delivering him a message, a message of love and secrecy that was directly for him. "I'm going to save you from this Y/N. You don't have to pretend to have feelings for him much longer. I see your plan, and I understand it. It's genius. As those white roses signify, it will be a new beginning for us. And then, when it's all said and done, Christian will finally see who the real man is."

And according to Jack,

Christian had it coming…

And he only had himself to blame.

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noneatnonedotcom · 6 months

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ALTERNATE BUILD FOR SHADOW KNIGHT PATHFINDER EDDITION

@heliosthegriffin i was bored so i thought i'd show you an alternate build for jaune in pathfinder stats for this will be heroic, meaning I roll 2d6 and add 6 to it. str: 18+2 (human bonus) 20 dex: 14 con: 12 int: 9 (bad roll on those dice there jaune) wis: 11 cha: 18 (jaune's a very pretty boy) so there's the stats for all the jaune's builds (ones I will be doing in the future to help our boy move around he will be given the mythic ability impossibly fast pushing his base speed up by 30ft to a respectable 6ft of movement and the mythic feat run which multiplies that by 7 when he's running, with just this he'll be running at 40ish miles per hour though he'll need to stop and rest if he does it for too long. for the tldr: all together at level ten jaune would be doing 1d8+15+6+9 from power attack to a total of 30 fucking damage per hit, I should tell you that it's a strong fucking attack, add in vital strike on combat patrol and jaune can effectively wipe out hords of people in a single round each with just 1 punch with all the bonuses to his speed applied he can run at almost 80mph and most of that would be roof jumping too so he can get around really fucking fast. one thing to note is that because his stype requires he wear no armor he's kinda a glass cannon, his boosts to his ac are great and all but some bracers of armor would be really helpful, also gunns will fuck him up

first up, the sinister Mr fister gear: monks robes (his super hero costume), masterwork handwraps (+1 to hit unarmed) human vigilante/avenger, warrior poet/ order of the songbird lv1: Dual identity, seamless guise, social talent, vigilante specialization Dancer’s Grace, Flourish, first level feats (dodge, mobility (they'll be important later)) social talent: Social Grace, diplomacy vigilante specialization: avenger

florish: Exodus of Jinin (+10 to movement speed)

lv2: Versatile Performance, vigilante talent

Versatile Performance: string

vigilante talent: fist of the Avenger, gain improved unarmed strike feat and add half your vigilante level to the damage done with fist or gauntlet to a max of +5 LV3: feat, Social talent, unshakable, flourish feat: dragon style (jaune's starting to learn how to punch really good at this point, social talent: Entrepreneur diplomacy (jaune gets the skill abilities of the unchained rouge for anything he got social grace for, he can also use it in place of profession to make money, not sure how one uses diplo to make money but if you have an idea let me know) florish: Exodus of Jinin (+10 to movement speed)

lv4: Vigilante talent, ability score improvement (+1dex), graceful strike.

vigilante talent: Lethal Grace (Ex): The vigilante combines strength and speed into incredibly deadly attacks. He gains Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat, and if he already has the Weapon Finesse feat, he can immediately swap it for another feat for which he qualified at the level he chose Weapon Finesse. When using Weapon Finesse to make a melee attack using his Dexterity bonus on attack rolls and his Strength bonus on damage rolls, he also adds half his vigilante level on damage rolls. This bonus damage is not reduced or increased if the vigilante is wielding a weapon two-handed or in an off-hand. combined with Graceful Strike (Ex): At 4th level, when the warrior poet uses Weapon Finesse to make a melee attack that adds her Dexterity bonus to attack rolls and her Strength bonus to damage rolls, she also adds half her samurai level to damage rolls

means that now jaune's doing his level + half to all unarmed strikes, this is a lot of static damage, I'll show it at the end but it's a fucking doozy LV5: Social talent, startling appearance, flourish, feat

florish: Exodus of Jinin (+10 to movement speed) social talent: renown (jaune's now making a name for himself in vale. mainly just the 1 neighborhood and all but it's still important.

feat: stunning fist lv6: vigilante talent and battle dance

vigilante talent: Shield of Blades add minus to attack to ac when using power attack. free power attack bonus feat battle dance: free spring attack LV7: challenge 3/day, social talent, feat social talent: great renown (jaune's making a real splash) feat: dragon's ferocity lV 8: vigilante talent: combat skill: combat reflexes, poetic inspiration from order of the song bird ability score improvement +1 dex

Poetic Inspiration (Ex) At 8th level, an order of the songbird samurai can speak a few words as a swift action, inspiring allies to great deeds. Allies within 30 feet who can hear the samurai gain a competence bonus equal to her Charisma modifier on attack and weapon damage rolls for 1 round.

This ability can be used once per combat.

LV9: social talent: safe house (jaune now has a safe place to lay low and recover as well as keep his stuff since the hunt is now on for the vigilante)

feat: combat patrol

LV10: vigilante talent: vital punishment (can now use vital strike on attacks of opportunity.) combined with combat patrol this means jaune can now wipe out entire hords of bad guys singlehandedly though he only gets two attacks per turn right now since he didn't get two weapon fighter, I like to imagine this is because a lot of his dragon style relies on big kicks for knock outs.

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matchstique · 8 months

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Part 1 of the 1st place of my dtiys forever ago. So glad to do this for such a great artist. Sendin ya hugs Gunn!

Bad future designs by the amazin @thegunnsara

lines below!

#rottmnt #tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rise of the tmnt #gunn's bad future #matchart #wehehehehe #they’re so cool #just lookatem #makes sure to check out ingunn #or I’ll be sad

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hlficlibrary · 4 months

Note

Hello ...hope you are fine

Any good historical enemies to lovers recs ?

Hi, anon! Hope you're well, too! Here are some historical enemies to lovers fics for you!

A Stór Mo Chroí by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou

It was a gloomy, grey day in the highlands. The sun, try as it might, couldn’t manage to break through the clouds, painting land and sea alike in muted colours. Perhaps it wasn’t so desolate as all that, though it certainly seemed that way to Louis. Of course, his perception might have been coloured by his own foul mood. Everything seemed to have gone from bad to worse recently, and if his own problems weren’t enough now he had to pretend he didn’t want to throttle the chieftain of Clan Gunn, the one currently traipsing around the village and greeting clansmen as if he wasn’t just a glorified intruder. Louis narrowed his eyes as he watched Harry interact with Agnes and her young son, Harry stooping down to talk directly to the little boy. The Clan Gunn tartan, simple blocks of green and black, marked Harry as someone who clearly didn’t belong amongst them, and yet the people of Clan Sutherland always seemed delighted to see the man.

Traitors.

Louis is a young laird from Clan Sutherland and Harry the chieftain of Clan Gunn, and an alliance between their clans isn't enough to convince the two of them to get along.

now i think that i could love you back by maroonmoonlouis

“I do not care if she banishes me to my chambers for a month or the rest of the year, you two must see reason,” Louis protests, feeling a minor fit coming on. “He is nothing but an insufferable, cocky, cloddish, pitiful excuse for an Alpha, and he deserves to live the rest of his days in solitary, not me.” “My, my, what an array of abuse. I surely would loath to be this inadequate excuse of an Alpha you speak of, but alas I cannot relate to possessing such deficiency,” a honey-glazed voice drips out from behind Louis, and the omega can feel the steam pouring over, ready to burst out of his already flushed ears.

- Or, the one where Omega Prince Louis is thrown a Courting Ceremony. A weekend full of competition ensues for his hand in marriage. As if he’s not already stressed about choosing his future Mate in three days, it’s just his luck that his enemy, Alpha Prince Harry has decided to partake as well.

Ace of Spades by @allwaswell16

Living as a sheltered omega in a farming village has not prepared Harry for life aboard the most notorious pirate ship to sail the Atlantic.

Or Louis is a pirate, Harry is his captive, and no one is who they say they are.

Just You Wait by grapenight

When Harry eavesdrops on a conversation between Louis and his mother, he hears Louis insulting his family. He doesn't have the heart to tell his family, who believes Louis and Gemma will get married, so Harry makes a plan to expose Louis for the person he really is.

Very loosely based on Downton Abbey. Harry is the son of nobility, and Louis is expected to marry his sister.

#ask #anon #minificrec #ficrec #enemiestolovers #historical #grapenight #allwaswell16 #kiwikero #maroonmoonlouis

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demifiendrsa · 1 year

Video

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DC Studios | Chapter 1: Gods and Monsters

Chapter 1: Gods and Monsters:

Creature Commandos: An animated seven episode series, written by Gunn, that is already in production. Originally a team of classic monsters assembled to fight Nazis, this is a modern take on the concept. The voice actors have yet to be cast but the executives are looking to find people who can voice the animated characters and also portray the live-action versions when the anti-heroes to show up in movies and shows.

Waller: A spin-off of Gunn’s own HBO Max hit series, Peacemaker, Viola Davis will return as the ruthless and morally ambiguous head of a government task force. It is being written by Christal Henry (Watchmen) and Jeremy Carver, the creator of the Doom Patrol TV series.

Superman: Legacy: The movie featuring the Man of Steel that Gunn is writing and may direct, although no commitments on that end have been made. While the two previous titles are meant to be “aperatifs,” in Safran’s words, Superman is the true kick off for the duo’s DCU plans. “It’s not an origin story,” Safran said. “It focuses on Superman balancing his Kryptonian heritage with his human upbringing. He is the embodiment of truth justice and the American way. He is kindness in a world that thinks that kindness as old-fashioned.” A release date of July 11, 2025 has been penciled in.

Lanterns: Greg Berlanti’s long-in-the-works Green Lanterns TV series has been scrapped and the duo have parted ways with the longtime DC series steward. In its place will be a new take on the space cops with power rings. “Our vision for this is very much in the vein of True Detective,” Safran described. “It’s terrestrial-based.” It will feature prominent Lantern heroes Hal Jordan and John Stewart and is one of the most important shows they have in development. “This plays a really big role in leading into the main story we are telling across film and TV.”

The Authority: a movie based on a team of superheroes with rather extreme methods of protecting the planet that first originated in the late 1990s under an influential imprint known as Wildstorm, run by artist and now head of DC publishing, Jim Lee. “One of the things of the DCU is that it’s not just a story of heroes and villains,” said Gunn. “Not every film and TV show is going to be about good guy vs. bad guy, giant things from the sky comes and good guy wins. There are white hats, black hats and grey hats.” Added Safran: “They are kinda like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men. They know that you want them on the wall. Or at least they believe that.”

Paradise Lost: The duo describe this HBO Max series as a Game of Thrones-style drama set on the all-female island that is Wonder Woman’s birthplace, Themyscira, filled with political intrigue and scheming between power players. It takes place before the events of the Wonder Woman films.

The Brave and the Bold: “This is the introduction of the DCU Batman,” said Gunn. “Of Bruce Wayne and also introduces our favorite Robin, Damian Wayne, who is a little son of a bitch.” The movie will take inspiration from the now-classic Batman run written by Grant Morrison that introduced Batman to a son he never knew existed: a murderous tween raised by assassins. “It’s a very strange father-and-son story.”

And, importantly, it will feature a Batman not played by Robert Pattinson…

Booster Gold: an HBO Max series based on a unique and lower-tiered hero created in 1986. Safran said of the series, “It’s about a loser from the future who uses basic future technology to come back to today and pretend to be a superhero.” Gunn described it as “imposter syndrome as superhero.”

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow: Taking its cues from the recent Tom King-written mini-series, this movie project promises to have a different take than what most think of when the idea of Superman’s cousin comes to mind. “We will see the difference between Superman, who was sent to Earth and raised by loving parents from the time he was an infant, versus Supergirl, raised on a rock, a chip off of Krypton, and who watched everyone around her die and be killed in terrible ways for the first 14 years of her life and then come to Earth. She is much more hardcore and not the Supergirl we’re used to.”

Swamp Thing: a horror film that promises to close out the first part of the first chapter.

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dailycass-cain · 1 year

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Have I gotten over Batgirls ending? No, I haven't. But there are a few things that give me peace when it comes to Cass still remaining as Batgirl for the future.

This does feel different than say 2006, 2009, and 2011. I feel okay here and not this overwhelming fear of dread or concern like in either of those years. The reasons being--

#1 Spirit World has her in it and as Batgirl. Six months (so far) of Cass as Batgirl in it. I'm square with that. Do I want the series to last longer than six issues? YES! I love Alyssa Wong writing Cass and gimme more of Haining drawn-Cass, please!

Also, it looks like we're getting Dustin Nguyen variants for each issue. Took DC long enough to do more of this and if you aren't getting this series for all of the above-mentioned which is mystical antics with Cass teaming with Xanthe and Constantine-- then COME ON?!

#2 DC and more importantly WB is pushing the character. We have a variation of Cass coming next week with Batman: The Doom that Came to Gotham and of course Bat Wheels has her too!

While neither is embracing the comic version, I'm actually okay with both interpretations. Um... cute my spoilerish thoughts on that.

I really want a sequel short with an older Ka Li Cain suiting up as a Bat to combat a new mystical threat that ends up with BATman helping her. There are so many seeds throughout that showcase Kai Li is just as resourceful like Bruce was in the animated movie.

GIMME THAT FAN ART PLEASE ARTISTS!!

Then there's the James Gunn factor. The tease a month ago with him saying four characters Bleeding Cool listed should be in his universe. Cass does have good odds and the comic market might be agreeing.

Literally, searching now for Cass on eBay, the market is speccing HARD that she'll be showing up. They do get some things wrong, but my gut says this might happen. We have Cass in various things above and if is next-gen it makes sense for her to be Batgirl in Brave & the Bold.

Really my one fear is the latest teaser had Babs as Batgirl (no Cass or Steph). Literally, this was my third clue something bad was happening to Batgirls...

It also feels so wrong that each hero has a generational link save well Babs in this teaser (save to Bruce). Literally, you could've easily put Cass in there and it ease some more minds.

But that leads me to one thing. I feel like Stephanie Brown is getting the short straw. I love the character, and I feel like if someone is getting shorted it's her sadly.

Cass has so much going still, but Steph? *cricket chirps* Literally, she should be involved in a comic too and I guess all we have is her helping Jason in the Joker ongoing.

Again, I feel like DC Comics fumbled the ball with Batgirls, particularly with Babs in those early issues, and because of that it never caught on until the later ones.

I don't mind Babs in Nightwing as Batgirl or Oracle. I've more at peace of her balancing BOTH identities. Just that when she becomes Batgirl it SHOULD be a "business has about to have picked up" moment.

Babs as Batgirl shouldn't job (and if she is it's something she shouldn't have a chance against aka what Batman vs. Robin did last month. I can’t believe I’m saying something positive on this comic).

It should be treated as a MOMENT. Really #13 gave us just that. A moment where Bruce/Babs/Zee helped out Cass/Steph. Also the tease in this week's issue is also good (more on that another day).

The biggest problem Batgirls had in those early issues was Babs stealing the spotlight from Cass/Steph and Seer in #5-8). If you had Cass/Steph beating the Saints, Tutor, and Spellbinder. Add depth to Seer in #7-8?

We might have talked differently about this comic. But I'm not gonna fault the writers. They were given things beyond their control and did the best they could.

Clearly, #9 to now shows they can deliver some good stuff. The problem is... a good chunk bailed prior. I just wish DC gave Batgirls a better chance. I think all three characters are OWED that. After all the shenanigans done to them in the last TWENTY YEARS.

But the stuff I said earlier does make me feel at least comfortable that Cass can boomerang back. Because as I said numerous times over.

I'll cherish these next issues more so now. If this truly is the end of this comic. Because this comic for all its faults was a GIFT. May not have been a flawless one it still was a gift. I'll keep treasuring it. #Batgirls4life.

#dc comics #BATGIRLS4EVER #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #barbara gordon

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beauspot · 1 year

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ok thoughts on the future of Namor in the MCU.

For the most part comic Namor and movie Namor couldn’t be more different. Yes they both run underwater cities and are strong in an almost godlike way but really? Their similarity ends there. Comic!Namor is literally one of the biggest dickheads in Marvel canon and quite literally harasses a married woman with his affection for years. If Ryan has control and input over his character (which i’m really hopeful for since james gunn had input for guardians in infinity war) I know they won’t go down this route with Sue.

There’s no shot. Namor is a proud indigenous man who wants to preserve his culture. There is no universe where he marries a white Sue Storm, or throws himself at the feet of a married woman who rejects him. There is a chance they make Sue nonwhite in the MCU and if they do I still hope they don’t have him chasing after her. The dynamic with Shuri has already been set up and is a more elevated version of Namor and Sue’s story in the comics. We might never see them canonically “be together”(even tho I think they could become big bads together) but it makes infinitely more sense for MCU!Namor to become infatuated with Shuri. Their stories parallel one another almost perfectly and in his mind they’re equals.

I see Namor maybe pursuing Shuri but her rejecting him(for obvious reasons!). He will stay out of most conflicts but perhaps join Kang in exchange for his help attacking the surface world—something he still clearly wants—but eventually realizing what Kang is ACTUALLY trying to do so he’ll have to go crawling back to Shuri and be like “so, I fucked up but how bout that alliance friend!” They’ll fight together but while it’s happening Talokan is attacked or Wakanda is attacked and Namor is like “see what did i tell you about the surface dwellers?” because make no mistake Wakanda is going to have to fight off an invasion. Namor knows that.

Then Shuri is like “well shit he was right” and they fight together protecting their land. It’s still the MCU so they’ll probably have Namor do something irredeemable because they have this need to always have their villains do something unforgivable so we remember they’re villains. I don’t know where they go from there tho, Namor either has to become a hero or die. This happens to all the villains, (see Thanos vs Loki)

#black panther wakanda forever #black panther #shuri #namor #sue storm #namor x shuri #shuri x namor #mcu #marvel #marvel comics #wakanda #talokan #fantastic four #phase four #phase five #ryan coogler #james gunn

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 22 days

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Is It Really That Bad?

“The hierarchy of power in the DC universe is about to change.”

So said Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson many, many times in the lead up to the debut of his superhero vehicle Black Adam. And, at the time, it sounded like he may have been telling the truth. Johnson was at a point in his career where he’d gained a bit of respect as an actor after his early career was plagued by boring garbage like Doom and campy cheese like The Scorpion King; he now had showcased some comedic acting prowess in films like Moana and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, and in the former film he also got to show a bit of emotion when needed. Also in the case of the former, he was clearly very passionate about playing Maui, and it seemed like he was passionate about portraying Captain Mar—Er, SHAZAM’S archenemy as well, seeing as he’d been attached to a movie about the guy since about 2007 and was now able to swing his Hollywood clout around to push it out of development hell. And while the DCEU was on a bit of shaky ground thanks to Wonder Woman 1984 being infamously bad even for a film shat out during COVID, James Gunn’s one-two punch of critically acclaimed cult classic The Suicide Squad and the fantastic spin-off series Peacemaker gave people hope that DC was on the rise and we were about to be given some of the best Johnson we’d ever experienced.

Unfortunately, that’s just not how things panned out. Black Adam ended up being yet another in a string of bombs for DC, and this wouldn’t be so noteworthy if not for a certain cameo.

Leaked online ahead of the film’s premier, people got super hyped that Henry Cavill was finally back as Superman after faceless teases of the character in Peacemaker and Shazam! No more jerking the audience around, this was full confirmation Cavill was back, and he’d be fighting Adam (a longstanding dream of Johnson’s)! The audience was absolutely ecstatic, and whatever else could be said about the movie everyone was hopeful about the future of DC!

But let’s be real here: A couple of good films notwithstanding, the DCEU was a disease-ridden old pooch, and it had to be put out of its misery with a Gunn. James Gunn was announced to be taking over the DC movie universe and ushering in a continuity reboot to unfuck the messy and convoluted universe, one of the exceedingly rare good decisions WB has made in the past decade. But such a change in the hierarchy of power was not something that was good for this film (or any of the forthcoming DC films), and not helping matters were some of Johnson’s more egotistical decisions coming to light, such as vetoing an appearance by Zachary Levi and forcing in the aforementioned Supernan cameo.

The result was yet another bomb on DC’s hands, losing an estimated $100 million due to its budget ballooning. But this didn’t have the issues that the other recents bombs had; it didn’t have to compete with a Sonic movie like Birds of Prey, it didn’t have to deal with having an abysmal predecessor that scared audiences away like The Suicide Squad, and it wasn’t an astonishingly awful piece of dogshit with horrendous writing starring and directed by two phenomenally terrible human beings like Wonder Woman 1984. It failed because Johnson got too big for his britches and couldn’t just change course to deliver a Shazam sequel and instead tried to swing his Hollywood superstar dick around when the writing was on the wall for the franchise.

But now that some time has passed and we’re on our way to seeing what Gunn’s new take on DC will be, let’s take a look at the death rattle of the DCEU and see if it’s really that bad.

THE GOOD

Dwayne Johnson’s genuine passion for Adam honestly shines through. Like this isn’t really a character who is breaking new ground or reinventing the wheel or anything, but within the framework of the story the film is telling Johnson does an exceptional job bringing the character to life and manages to inject quality acting into the performance. The emotional backstory moments land, the humor lands, it’s just a Rock-solid superhero movie performance. And while he doesn’t end up feeling very antiheroic overall, he rips the bad guy in half with his bare hands while shooting off a one-liner, a moment so fucking cool it makes me a lot more lenient with some of the film’s flaws.

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Of course, as much as he’d like to be the best thing in the movie, Johnson really can’t hold a candle to Pierce Brosnan as Dr. Fate. You can always count on a former Bond actor to deliver, and he adds a sense of class to the proceedings, especially in his interactions with Aldis Hodge’s Hawkman. Hodge is a bit more of a mixed bag, but when he’s bouncing off of Brosnan he really shines. Seriously, Brosnan is just the MVP of this movie. This might be his best late-career role since Mamma Mia!

All of the action in the movie is great, even by superhero movie standards. That’s not to say everything is amazingly plot relevant, but all of the fight scenes are exceptionally well done and exciting. When two dudes are punching the shit out of each other or Adam is vaporizing thugs, it’s a lot of dumb fun. Going off of the previous point, they actually manage to utilize Fate's powers in a lot of fun and interesting ways that make him a delight to watch in his few battles, and Hawkman is no slouch being a winged dude who can have a midair battle with Adam.

Also, there’s just something really nice and refreshing about seeing a Middle Eastern country being liberated from its oppressors by a powerful guardian who wants them free from tyranny. It feels very topical even though it pretty obviously wasn’t intentional at all. If you wanted to be extremely charitable, you could call this a pro-Palestine response to Wonder Woman 1984 and its blatant Islamophobia. Do I personally believe that? Uh, no. Does it really make the film any better if it is the case? Er...

THE BAD

I think one of the things that absolutely wounds this film is its steadfast refusal to engage with the source material it’s adapting. Shazam laid the groundwork for this movie, setting up Adam’s appearance down the road, and then this movie doesn’t even mention Billy Batson at all. We get a cameo from Superman, sure, but Superman isn’t Adam’s archenemy is he? And this issue is apparently directly traceable to the Big Johnson himself. There’s this idea that he has it that he can never look stupid in movies or lose big battles, and I don’t necessarily believe that’s an actual thing, but it feels really true here. How’re you gonna be a badass anti-hero and get your ass whupped by a teenager? It’s a dumb thing to worry about when you’re playing a character known for it though, and it’s even dumber to veto a cameo of that character just because you wanna be a big tough guy who only fights macho men like Superman—and that’s exactly what Johnson used his clout to do. It honestly makes me wonder why he wanted to play a villain most famous for going up against the original Captain Marvel if he didn’t want to engage with the character at all.

Maybe this would be easier to swallow if we had a villain who wasn’t a forgettable CGI sack of shit, but sadly as badass a concept as SABBAC the demonic anti-Shazam sounds on paper this is all he ends up amounting to. His human form, Ishmael, is even worse and blander, though I do find it funny Marwan Kenzari has twice now performed as an underwhelming villain who turned into a big red CGI demon turd.

Also, as cool as Dr. Fate and Hawkman are, the other members of the Justice Society are so utterly forgettable and superfluous to the plot that it’s easy to forget they’re even there most of the time. I can’t remember a single thing of note they did. It’s a shame too, since they have interesting powers and designs, but they are just so unimportant to what’s going on that it’s hard to care about them. And it’s not even the heroes who are dull and forgettable; the Kandaq people we follow throughout the film are just really forgettable as well. The fact only a handful of characters will make any impression on you in a film with this chunky runtime is really troubling.

But the biggest crime of the film is just that it plays everything way too safe. This is strictly formula, plain and simple, hitting all the beats of your generic origin story for a hero with just a teeny tiny bit more brutality because they’re trying to sell Adam as a badass anti-hero. Except, no, it doesn’t really work because he’s neutered by the PG-13 rating for the most part and he never really comes off as morally gray or unscrupulous. This man ain’t a badass, he’s a badbutt. The point is, you’ve seen this exact story play out a million times before—and usually better—to the point where you could probably guess certain lines of dialogue before they happen and you’ll likely figure out where the plot’s going ages ahead of the characters.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Black Adam is pretty much the definition of “mid.” It’s not an awful film. It’s not a great film. It’s not a film that really brings about much of a strong emotional response no matter what way you slice it. But it’s not a wholly unpleasant viewing experience either. It’s just… fine. It’s an okay movie.

But “okay” is not what DC needed, and it’s certainly not what Johnson wanted for this character he was so passionate about that he stuck with him for almost twenty years and used his massive star power he’d accumulated to get it made when he could have easily swung that power into making some dramatic passion project. He wanted this to be big, he wanted to be the next big anti-hero, he wanted to fight Superman so goddamn bad… But it’s ultimately this ego that held the film back. This is a dude who is supposed to fight Shazam, but Johnson was dead set on him fighting the other buff flying super dude; if he really wanted to fight Superman so bad, why not push to play a Superman villain? He has proven time and time again he’s funny, so why not make him Bizarro? Or get really crazy and cast him as Lex Luthor, bald and occasionally buff super genius archenemy of Superman? There are so many dudes who actually fight Superman that Johnson could pull off and yet he chose to forcefully repurpose another hero’s villain instead of shifting gears a bit. The whole film just ends up feeling like a massive monument to his ego and hubris as opposed to the passion project it obviously was, and he unfortunately only has himself to blame there.

Ultimately, while I don’t think Black Adam is responsible for the DCEU dying—this film series was on life support since Dawn of Justice—it definitely is emblematic of every single problem that brought down the series. It just genuinely doesn’t understand what fans of the character would want to see, it features a bland and underwhelming villain only there for some cool action scenes, and it sets up so many things that would never be delivered upon. Sure, there’s plenty to like here, but why bother when you can watch something else with these same good qualities and actually have it be more than decent background noise? You wanna see some great Pierce Brosnan acting in an action movie? I have great news! He made three James Bond movies worth watching, and also Die Another Day! You want a good comic book anti-hero movie? Go watch Dredd, The Suicide Squad, or even Punisher: War Zone. Dead set on a movie where a buff hero with your typical flying brick powers fights some evil demons? Just go watch Shazam!

I hope this movie failing so hard and leaving so much egg on Johnson’s face humbles him a bit and gets him to check his ego in the future, because I do genuinely enjoy the guy’s movies. He’s got good comedic chops, he’s pretty charming when he wants to be, and he’s great at elevating batshit material if given the chance as Southland Tales’ unorthodox use of him goes to show. I’d like to see him go back to doing weirder, smaller stuff for a while and maybe build back confidence in his acting career again because right now he’s almost as big a joke as the Scorpion King CGI in The Mummy Returns. He’s just not respected as much as he was a few years ago, and this overhyped bomb is what did it.

I’d say the score here is just about right. This really isn’t a bad movie, but it’s not anything special either; it’s just some mindless entertainment to put on in the background while you do something else. It genuinely is a shame, because this could have been a great movie that ushered in a fantastic new age for the DCEU, with Johnson saving the franchise after the past blunders of Snyder almost tanked it… But he came too little, too late and his movie ended up paying the price. And while it’s not fair to lay all the blame on Black Adam, it’s hard to feel too sorry when it does next to nothing to justify its existence beyond a scant few memes, and even in that regard it is outdone by far worse (and thus more entertaining) films like Morbius and Madame Web. This movie is, sadly, just nothing. It is a nothing film that elicits no strong feelings and you’ll likely forget it soon after watching it. It won’t be an unpleasant experience to view, but I’d be shocked if it leaves anything beyond the most minimal impact on you. It is the dictionary definition of “mid.”

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