I’m tired of people talking about relationships. I’m tired of beautiful, smart, talented girls let their youth and brain go to waste because they’re thinking of men. I’m tired of my family asking me and telling me to get a boyfriend, even when they’re all miserable in their marriages. Why are they mad I’m an attractive, capable woman who chooses to stay single because my time is valuable?

Men will literally have sex with a warm cantaloupe. It’s not hard getting/keeping/staying with a man. It’s hard to work on yourself. It’s hard to stay single. It’s hard to be celibate and see your value. Today’s society is so backwards - having sex or relationships is ok, but more often than not I feel like it holds back the girlies rather than men. It’s sad.

I want to respect other women’s choices, but some of y’all are letting bald, broke men disrespect y’all. It’s time to elevate ladies. Choosing to be single and withhold pussy is the feminist choice.

I'm just as tired luv. When I started posting here I did it to build a community of women and fem people who wanted better for themselves, to constantly grow and improve as people because for too long our society has been run and controlled by a single demographic and the power imbalance has generated a lot of issues for us.

Instead of finding empowerment in things that have real value in this world such as education, wealth, and a rewarding career/life path, many women would rather spend their time chasing after the most mediocre men they could find, being desperate for an inch of their validation, and now day-dreaming in delusional ways about being dependent on men because work would equal "being in their masculine energy", and going as far as to speak down on the women of the 20th century that marched and fought for the equal rights and opportunities we enjoy today (and continue to fight for).

Seeing how the overachiever woman that can have it all archetype has been tainted by these useful idiots in lieu of these impossible-to-define vague concepts of "feminity" and "feminine energy" has been extremely frustrating. These are the same people that get angry when legislation that affects women is passed, but they don't stop for a second to think about how real change in made to improve our lives as a collective. In their desperation of becoming housewives to live a "soft life", they don't stop to think for a second that we can only attain gains in society by getting an education and reaching high positions of power in different industries. They would rather fall for the trap that right-wingers and religious bigots have set for them to have them dumb, powerless, and dependent on the same people that view them as lesser-than and that constantly abuse us.

Likewise, many women still look down on those of us that ask them to raise their standards when it comes to dating. Pick mes are not as rare as many may think. They see no problem with giving men perks and easy access to them without any sort of commitment. We have glorified baby-mamma culture which is a direct result of hook-up culture. And when some of us speak out against it, they paint us as the "misogynistic" ones. Absolute madness.

Honestly, you cannot help someone that doesn't want to be helped. A lot of these women are going to have to learn the hard way through life that making dumb decisions out of laziness, instant gratification, no self-esteem and lack of critical thinking will pay off in bad ways in the long run, and they will have nobody but themselves to blame for it.

Alright lets talk about Kale.

So dis man...lets be very accurate and say he's very attractive but because he spends so much time in seclusion with only a corrupted black dragon who mocks him as a friend, he doesn't care much about his apperance. He's a blond bitch, born with green eyes but as he accomplished the shadow they steadily turned a very dark purple, which they are now. Don't let me forget I settled on green eyes ok? He's kind of a slob, very shy, prefers the company of books, but can be absolutely brutal and aggressive when he needs to be. Part of the consequences of being raised by a Black Dragon who enjoys murder and malding.

Kale is exceptional and disembowling, and masters and art of punching throw a man with a shade of a fist. No actual damage but exceptional pain comes from this manuever which amuses him. He's not one for torture, the dude isn't evil, but he can be...sadistic. Around Legion, Kale was captured by the Legion who tore him apart while still alive and put him back together. They planned on killing him, but Kale escaped into the Void (It's a plane of reality that the void inhabits around Azeroth and any planet they infest.) and stayed there for months until he was strong enough to force his way back in the physical plane. This left him EXTREMELY fucked up.

Top is Kale's drake form before the Legion...bottom is Kale's drake form AFTEr the Legion.

Around the Rise of Aszhara patch, Kale steals power from N'Zoth by force which gives him a ton of strength and power and takes away his constant agony. (Because of the way they put him back together, he's in near constant pain. but it came with some benefits which I will discuss.) But then Wrathion saunters into his life as more than just an antagonist. The two really hated each other; Wrathion hated him, Kale merely disliked him, until...they both started feeling something more. Kale a rude, near sadistic lust that gradually became love and Wrathion a need for companionship, a deep attraction and need to be close. He was DEEPLY attracted to Kale's power. (Kale is not a mary sue, dude has major consequences for his power and his feats are few and far between, but yes he's powerful.) And his sadism, which only grows stronger. I have a badly written fic on their burgeoning love that I'm rewriting slowly.

Anyways this void power is stolen back by Xanesh during that event where you wander around BWD with Wrathion and Kale is rescued by his future lover and the two manage to escape.

Somehow they end up in the steam pools of Feralas? IDK why I wrote that but I like it as a settling for their romance so I keep it. And Kale, angry, shamed, riddled with absolute agony...is not kind to Wrathion, who despite the pain of the encounter, loved every second of it. It's this double-feeling dynamic the two share at first that intrigues me. Wrathion HATES that he feels this way towards Kale but can't help it. He has a need for companionship, a need to be touched and held and desired that he's NEVER felt. Kale is disturbed by how attracted he is to Wrathion, but also loves the pleasure he gets from the man. (Kale has basically been celibate up until this point, he's never been a sexual man. He has a son and that's all the action he's ever really wanted, but then again, he's a gay man, so his encounter with a woman was just not his thing.)

Worth noting my lore is deeply strung out. So Wrathion is TWENTY-THREE when and Kale sleep together for the first time and Kale is FIFTY-FIVE. Still a major age difference but much better than Wrathion's actual age at the time of SIX. I feel I should point that out.

It's not cuddly mushy wushy, it's not sweet, it's toxic and cruel but they eventually figure it out and become a great power couple and I love it. Kale is the happiest he's ever been with this dragon and Wrathion loves someone who actually...desires, loves and challenges him.

Oh yeah Wrathion gives a portion of his power to Kale every so often. (It comes back.) which results in Kale returning to how he would be withouts the Legion's tampering, free of pain. BUT the oddities of his remaking remain. Which means his wrists pronate in strange ways and allow him to cling to walls upside down, something he uses to his advantage. (As a drake... this old man is not climbing rock faces in his humanoid form.)

Day 186: Back

Hello everyone, probably no-one. The only person that might actually read this is future me. Hello. How are you? How satisfying is life? How have my goals changed? Am I in a better state of mind?

I haven't wrote in this blog in a while. I think have not because I did not find reason to. I have been questioning life a lot lately and writing would probably help clear some of that out. Since I am currently writing I might as well try to clear out some thoughts. However, before I proceed I will provide some context of what has been going on in my life lately.

I broke up with my girlfriend a month and a half ago. I am a month and a half celibate. I went overseas to see my extended family and reconnect with my culture after 4 years. I go to the gym consistently for the first time in my life. I am attempting to grow a full beard for the first time in my life. I am back at school living with roommates taking care of my self instead of living at home with my parents. I friend-zoned a girl wanting to have sex for the first time in my life. She is really hot and I really enjoy talking to her and now she likes me more now that I friend-zoned her. I did not try for the first round of the coop job search and the job market is weak right now.

The following are my primary thoughts lately:

I think I am addicted to girls. I know I need to be alone in this section of my life. I haven't not been talking to a girl for 2 consecutive months (maybe even just one month) in over 4 years. I almost always had someone in my life. I know I need to grow myself. That includes my mindset, thoughts and my physical body. I am unhappy with my physical appearance, physical strength, how productive I am in my spare time and my career. I am actually proud of myself for working on my body but I have not shown effort in productivity or my career. Since I have not payed much attention to girls I have been able to do things like attempt to grow a patchy beard, go to the gym, sleep early. Although I am taking some steps to better myself I feel a little empty. For the first time, I felt the effects of heartbreak after a breakup. Even though I was the one to break up, it still hurt in an unexpected amount. My life feels more exiting when talking to the current girl. I know I promised I would not like her or do anything with her but it is very hard.

What is the point of my life? My career? My social bonds and memories? My positive effect on other? My own needs and desires?

The answer is honestly so simple and it is right in front of all of us; all of it. The point of my life is all four of these things. They are all intertwined. My career ties into my effect on others and my own needs and desires. My career effects society and makes the world go round. My career also gives me money and opportunities to be a little selfish and do what I enjoy. My social bonds and social memories also tie into my effect on others and my own desires. Building social connections with family, friends, and girls satisfies my own needs to connect with others and enjoy myself. Conversations, and bonding is one of my favourite pass times. Additionally, I have a positive effect on them. I make them laugh, feed them, introduce them to more friends, give them fun opportunities, and keep them company. The point of my life is made up. I set the meaning of my life. According to my environment these four make up the most of it. Neither one of the four can be the clear purpose, it is a blend. I have to keep a balance of all four and not neglect a component. Right now II am neglecting my career and half neglecting my own needs and desires. I am neglecting my own needs and desires on purpose since I believe I invested a little too much time on that aspect. But currently I do feel a little incomplete. I think investing in career will really help me. I think that is the path I need to take.

Personal goal: stay on my laptop more than my phone.

Reasons:

Can lead to writing blog posts and written meditation

Will get me away from girls (snapchat)

Will get me away from mind numbing reels

Can lead to working on my career

Can lead to more productive things in general.

To Be Or Not To Be [Celibate] - THAT Is the Question

Why on the earth am I writing about celibacy?

Excellent question! Because on adult entertainment Tues night I'll be attending a huge public debate on "Celibacy in the Catholic Church", in London, simply days before the Pope's go to. Sky News and the BBC are protecting it; celebrities are worried, including Frank Skinner who's on the facet of "seasoned Celibacy". Also Boy George is rumoured to be bringing his boyfriend along for the evening so it is set to be an thrilling event!

The debate will start with the aid of showing a function length movie "Conspiracy of Silence" which increases tremendous questions about negative consequences of celibacy in the Catholic Priesthood. Although it would not continually do it eloquently, raising these problems for debate within our society is a completely essential thing to do.

Before I jump right in and inform you exactly what my perspectives on celibacy are, I'd want to proportion with you a touch bit about myself: So, if you're sitting simply? Then I shall begin…

In my more youthful years I had a lifestyles changing revel in, my lifestyles was a mess, I'd dropped out of university, couldn't find a activity I preferred, and I became miserable. My existence modified once I were given help to apprehend how I'd ended up in the ones conditions, and started out taking non-public obligation for re-growing my own lifestyles the manner I desired it to be. I determined that I might build a career, buy a house, and find someone to have a loving intimate, devoted dating with. By the time I became 27 I'd executed all of these, because of my endured commitment to my very own non-public increase & taking advantageous movement closer to my desires.

One of the numerous things I did on my own private journey became to be "Celibate" for 1 12 months, now I used the word "Celibate" meaning abstaining from sexual sex with others, despite the fact that the proper definition includes abstaining for existence. I completed this and it gave me time to recognize extra about myself as an man or woman, which helped immensely once I chose to be in a dedicated loving dating. That specific courting lasted only five years, in spite of my belief that it might be "till demise us do component", hiya, as Forest Gump says, s**t occurs…

Earlier this year I decided that I desired to attention by myself non-public increase and improvement and I made a decision to be "celibate" for 30 days, absolutely chaste- in act and concept. Now initially that changed into a challenge, believe converting even your mind! No greater wishing I might encounter Brad Pitt! But I had resolved to do that, and try this I could! At the give up of 30 days I determined to do every other 30 days, on the stop of these 30 days I decided to do some other 30 days and so on….

Right now, as I sit here and sort I realize that I might LOVE to remain celibate for the rest of my existence. I recognize a lot of you'll be thinking "Why on earth might you need to do that?" and the solution is straightforward. Since letting cross of the preference for sexual gratification I've been extra focused, more emotionally linked, calmer, and in the end I've felt a deep spiritual connection more than I've ever felt before. I experience GOOD! I'm wondering clearer, making better choices, I'm extra efficient, I'm communicating extra successfully to the ones I care about.

What have I lost as a result? Quite really I cannot think of one thing that being celibate has deprived me of! So even as I might pretty without difficulty say I'd be happy if I were to stay celibate for my entire life; I additionally hold open the possibility that perhaps, I simply would possibly pick to start a circle of relatives in some unspecified time in the future. However, what I am very clear approximately; having had periods of abstention, is that I might select no longer to have intercourse outside of a loving dedicated dating until the day I die. Whether or now not I reap this or not is a wholly exceptional discussion!

So bearing in thoughts my personal existence studies and picks round celibacy, it might not be much of a surprise once I tell you that I whole heartedly assist Celibacy as a demand for the Catholic priesthood.

What I do not however, condone, is the shortage of actual tangible guide to be had for the men that take these vows. What I do not assist is keeping off and suppressing the sexual goals that humans experience naturally. What I do no longer condone is sexual abuse inside the priesthood.

What I do encourage is extra transparency & open-ness in the Priesthood whilst men fail, once they err-so that these guys can sense safe to go for assist right now, so as to get the support they want to resume a wholesome celibate way of life. I remember that there's a big difference between male and woman celibacy, (different biology so I pay attention!) But again, I do not see this as a cause in opposition to celibacy in line with se.

I lately spent a few hours with a Franciscan monk in East London, we chatted approximately numerous matters; spirituality, celibacy, a personal dating with God. He's likely the most grounded, human, down to earth, heat, actual man or woman I've ever met. He took a vow of celibacy and it certainly hasn't prompted him any harm, in reality it's miles an act that supports him in his assignment to serve those who need assist, which he succeeds thoroughly in doing- every day feeding and apparel a hundred's of homeless human beings in one of the maximum disadvantaged areas in London.

I trust it is whilst disasters cannot be brazenly mentioned that sexuality is pushed underground. When sexuality is pushed underground everyday sexual choice can transmute into unhealthy sports which purpose ache and struggling to all concerned. Actively freely choosing a lifestyles of celibacy is very specific from suppressing natural sexual goals.

To be, or Not To Be, [Celibate] that is the query! I sit up for hearing from the panel on Tuesday night time, and mastering more approximately the subject of Celibacy inside the Catholic Church.

If you are inquisitive about the talk, why not come alongside on Tuesday night? Tickets are promoting fast because of the high profile nature of the panellists so I'd suggest getting yours as quickly as you could. If you are going please do let me recognise and say hi to me at the night, it might be super to discuss adult entertainment the controversy afterwards over espresso/drinks/herbal tea.:)

A pre-Easter post, thoughts from a gay Christian (long post)

So, in these days leading up to Good Friday and Easter Sunday, I've been trying to read through the Easter Story in my Bible and the verses/chapters related to it. Although I feel like I've read the story a billion times, I always feel as though every Easter is spent reading this story with other people, hearing other people's interpretations of how Easter played out and Jesus's crucifixion in other people's words. For the longest time, I spent Easter thinking of it as a communal holiday (as in community with people, it's obviously related to the taking of the communion lol), and even then, it is a holiday to be enjoyed with other people who celebrate Easter, completely. However, I think for the longest time I commercialized it in my head as a kid, saw it as this super exciting thing with fun colorful clothes that everyone wears and Easter egg hunts and fun food, and when the games were taken out of it as I grew, I think I diminished it to nothing, as some holiday that "doesn't matter anymore".

All that to say, as someone who's been quarantining since last March, I've spent over a year now, for the most part, in solitude. As a person who may potentially be celibate as an adult, I recognize that this is an exaggerated version of how life at home may be for me forever. And this year has really caused me to realize how completely essential it is for me to keep communicating with God, keep praying, keep depending on Him. Obviously, it's important for all Christ followers to do this. However, I've recognized that praying and reading the Bible and speaking to God as myself, not some over-glorified version of how Christians think other Christians "should be" is one of the few things keeping my head on my shoulders, one of the few things that doesn't make me feel so lonely I feel like the inside of my head is screaming. And I feel like learning to better recognize and celebrate and prepare my heart for something like Easter is such an important thing for me to do as a gay Christian who may potentially be celibate.

This is the story of what our religion and faith and celebration is really all about. This is the fundamental part, the core. Jesus literally died for all people living on the Earth past, present and future. Cishet and queer, of all socio-economic statuses, of all races and abilities and neurotypes and ages. The celebration of this holiday is celebration that the claim "God hates f*gs" is not only wholly inaccurate, but also blasphemous and contradicts every essence of God's being. This is a holiday for queer people like me, and other people who have been treated like they were "too filthy" to enter the walls of certain churches, this is a celebration of the acknowledgement that some churches don't represent the essence of God. This is a holiday for people who love their neighbors, people who have lost their neighbors, people who grieve losing someone and people who grieve being lost by someone. Sometimes I see Easter treated as some "all American" holiday where conservative families do their once a year church run because that's the mainstream thing to do, and I feel discouraged because it is treated like some holiday only accessible to the people who hold signs outside of pride marches and tell people to repent and stop being queer, the people who hold God, America and football all at the same height of importance, and have the gall to jeer at people who honor God in ways that they deem to be "un-American".

But this year, I am taking extra care to read the Bible closely in these days leading up to Good Friday and Easter. I read Psalm 22, and I will read about Palm Sunday, I'll read about the Passover and Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, and how Jesus washed his disciples feet. I'll spend careful time reading about how Jesus spoke to the criminal on the cross next to Him, the way that Jesus treated Thomas even though Thomas went through doubt, the way that Jesus healed the ear of the person who was against him and reprimanded his disciple who cut the ear off. I'll read about the horrific ways that Jesus was treated and crucified by the ultra-religious, political and self righteous leaders at that time, the way that he was sneered at and treated as vermin even though he never, ever deserved it. I'll think about how Jesus thought of each and every one of us as he died and the fact that he saw his mother and those closest to him at the foot of the cross in anguish, begging him to not die, the fact that ultimately what those who crucified him hated the most about him was his determination to love every person he interacted with and treat them with dignity and respect, humanity. The fact that he defended a prostitute and protected her from the perverted political leaders who brought her to Jesus in an attempt to take her dignity away before stoning her. I'll never forget that Jesus was crucified because the self-righteous couldn't handle the idea that a perfect God could truly love every imperfect person, not just the ones who managed to hide their imperfections using their high socio-economic status or the laws that they had partial control in.

And on Good Friday, I will grieve the crucifixion of a perfect savior who chose to fully love people like me, crucified by people like those who would try to convince me that I am going to hell despite believing in Jesus, simply because I am not straight.

And once Sunday comes, I will let myself cry, if I want to. I will thank God that He fights for me, even when those who go against me claim to follow Him. I will thank Jesus for thinking of imperfect people like myself when he was on that cross and I will truly mean it because I do- my gratefulness for the fact that such a perfect God thinks of me, let alone loves me, is something that grows exponentially the more I grow and realize how truly big and terrible the amount of hate in the world is.

And after Easter, I will remember how Jesus treated those who hated him for not being the type of self-righteous ultra political-religious person they were wanting him to be, and I will remember that as a Christ follower, our biggest goal should be to strive to be like Jesus. So I will remember, although life can be difficult in a world and a time where many many people see the concept of gay Christians as a simple impossibility, that I am here for a reason, and I've been made the way I am and in this time for a reason. I will remember to bless those who persecute me, instead of cursing them, rejoicing with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. I will remember that those who are persecuted on Earth will be highly rewarded in Heaven, and that the loving and protecting of a neighbor who has been hurt can do much more than fighting someone who only wants to be correct at the end of the day. I will continue to pray that God changes the minds of those in the church who struggle to believe that Jesus died for everyone and if God wants to use me in that process, so be it. But as I stay primarily in solitude throughout quarantine, I will pray that God opens my mind and helps me love others because I know that I am just as at fault as everyone else in this respect. I will spend this time reading His word and praying about it, asking questions and allowing myself to be emotional if I want or need to.

I know this was long, but if you made it all the way down here, hi! Thanks for reading all that, and if you're also a Christ follower and you celebrate Easter, I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on Easter and some things you like about it!

If I remember, I will try to keep adding updates on my account about chapters/stories/verses I've read or any new thoughts I have in this process!

Love you~

Doodlebug <3

I love your writing! If requests are still open I would die for a touch starved Din x reader where reader has a hand kink 😩. When Din removes his gloves the reader traces his veins with her tongue 👅 . Can lead to smut if you want! Thank you! 🥰

Golden, I am SO sorry this took so long! I worked this past weekend so I wrote a lot in between hours. Hopefully its worth the wait! (I honestly didn’t think it was going to end up this long...) Pairing: Din x Reader Rating: Excplicit Length: 3.8k Warnings: First-Time Din, Touch Starved Din, Slight Hand Kink, Cuddling, No ACTUAL sex, Fingering (MtoF) Summary: It took a splinter to finally see Din’s hands. It Took A Splinter     It was small things at first, you noticed, and only when it was you two in the Razor Crest. It was first the removal of his cape, hung off the back of his pilot chair during long stretches of time in hyperdrive. His boots came next, staying off after a shower and only going back on when he needed to leave the Crest. Soon his armor stayed in his quarters all together and he walked around the hull in his black under clothes. His helmet and gloves always stayed on, though, still hiding all of his integrity and making him out to be nothing more than a shape of a human. It both infuriated and intrigued you, but overall you were happy that he felt comfortable enough to shed the armor and walk freely around his ship.    You were hired on as a temporary caretaker of sorts to watch Grogu while Din made his rounds through bounty pucks and the placement paid well enough that you continued your occupation well past the terms that were set. It didn’t help that the man was of good company either, even if he was more times grumpy than not and The Child had wormed his way into your heart as well. You dared say it was almost family like - the three of you.     It was why you took extra care of both the little womp rat and Din, making sure their clothes were well washed, food was made, and the ship was stocked with the necessities. It was your job and you did it well, something you took extreme pride in. It was a big step up from the ‘bar-maid that you once were’ and had much more security as well. It was why falling in a deep fondness for Din was such a bad idea. Getting attached to a job was never a good thought, yet here you were, spending more and more time lingering next to Din while he did mundane tasks like clean his gun or rewire his ship. Just being next to him made you at ease.     Then there was the fact that you loved watching his hands work along any piece of machinery or metal. What did he look like under it all, you wondered. Was he green like the kid? Maybe pale like an albino? Many nights you spent with your hand beneath the waistband of your pants, imagining what his fingers would feel like against your skin, against your lips and teeth and between your legs.

    “Dank farrik!” Din had cursed, causing you to peek your head around into the cockpit from the adjacent hall where you were busy counting out food rations. Din had been sitting in his chair for the past half hour, hunched over something.  You couldn’t quite tell from your angle what that something was, so you set aside the crate you were rummaging through and came in, wiping your hands down your soft pants.     “You okay?” you ask as you round his chair and immediately you freeze. It looked like Din was trying to remove something from his hand - a hand that was very much bare and not in a glove. In fact, neither of his hands were hidden behind the thick leather and the sight before you was scarred and worn skin. It was a tawny beige color that stretched over thick fingers and with every flex of his hand you could see the shift of tendons and veins beneath. It was such a beautiful sight.     Din looked up to you, the ‘T’ of his visor turning as he gestured briefly in his frustration.          “I have a sliver that I cannot get removed.” He turned his wrist to you to show the irritated red skin that was slightly inflamed in the meat of his hand, just below the thumb. It was in an awkward spot on his dominant hand and you could tell why he was having such a hard time. “It has been there for three days.”     “Do you want me to give it a go?” you sheepishly offer him, extending your hand out for the tweezers he was using to try and pry the sliver out with.  It would be the first time you touched him on purpose and you’re almost positive he knows this too, but after a moment of deliberation he lets out a sigh and hands over the tweezers.     “If you can’t get it out, I’m chopping it off.”     You snort at how dramatic he is and move to try to find an angle that works enough for you to work on him. Not finding one you end up dragging one of the ration crates over for you to sit on in front of him, his chair swiveling to the side to give more room. You offer out your open palm to him and he gives his hand over, gently letting it rest in yours. You swear you can hear your heartbeat against your chest with how nervous you are. His skin is dry and rough beneath your touch, but it was also warm and  human.     “How did you manage this?” you ask in attempt to distract yourself as you begin to work at the edges of skin surrounding the sliver. It was deep and no amount of bending his thumb or squeezing the surrounding flesh was making it budge.     “I got stuck when I brought in the crates. Stray piece of wood that I didn’t see. Went through the glove.” He was curt in his answer and you briefly looked up to see him watching you intently. You move the wrong way and the end of the tweezers plucks a raw bit of skin and Din swears, his other hand coming to curl around your knee in a heavy grip.     “Sorry!” you apologize, flinching away but the hand on your knee slips up to your lower thigh, holding you from moving to far away.     “Don’t. Just...get it out.” Din doesn’t remove his hand, though he does relax his grip a little.     You work on him for another few minutes, trying not to have a complete mental break at the fact that Din was touching you, and failing miserably. You felt sweaty and you kept having to refocus on your task because your mind continued to stray to the way Din was letting his thumb trace along the seam of your pants, probably to comfort himself as you dug away the sensitive skin.     “Alright this just isn’t working, but I have an idea.” you said as you set the tweezers aside. “You’re going to have to trust me on this. I had a friend growing up that swore by this method, okay?”     Din nodded and watched as you brought his hand up to your mouth, lips wrapping around the base of his thumb to create a seal. You sucked in as you dug your bottom teeth into the flesh of his hand and scraped up with them. Pulling away to look, you saw that the sliver moved up a little and couldn’t help but beam up at him.     “I almost got it!” Din’s hand stilled on your thigh as you brought his hand back to your mouth and repeated what you did before and you felt the tiny piece of wood almost instantly push out and stick to your tongue. You grinned as you let go of him and licked the wood onto your hand, showing him the little piece.     “Got it!”     In your triumph you almost missed the cant of the helmet towards you and the way Din shifted, his legs spreading a little wider as he leaned in to cup your cheek. He took hold of your jaw, his thumb brushing along the soft skin there as his other hand slid from your thigh, up to your hip.     “Thank you.” The voice coder made his breaths sound heavy.. You stilled under his touch, eyes dropping as your cheeks heated and you saw his cock hard between his legs. Oh. Your eyes snap back up to the visor as Din moves his thumb across your lower lip and you part them, your tongue easing out to press against the pad of his finger. Din’s grip tightens on your hip as he pushes his thumb further in and you meet it with a gentle press of your tongue.     He hisses as you move, dragging your mouth from his thumb to the crook where his pointer finger met the curve of his hand and you kiss there, then his palm.  You take his hand gently by the wrist and turn it over to kiss the tendons and the dark veins beneath his skin, your tongue tracing along each strand. Din practically whines beneath the touches and you want to do more to praise the skin that he showed you - that he let you taste.     “It’s been so long since I’ve touched someone…” he admits in a low whisper.     “How long?”     You don’t stop the gentle worship of his hand, your lips ghosting over every crease and fold of him, mapping out every little scar and break of skin. These hands have seen so much, taken many lives, and here they were gentle and soft and open for you.     “Since...I was a child.”     Your heart drops because that was not what you had expected. He hadn’t touched anyone for his entire adult life? You didn’t think something like that was even possible but you also didn’t know much about the Mandalorian Creed, either. Were they celibate until marriage, if they even married? You knew Din had touched others in a more violent sense, what with the nature of his profession but you knew what he meant in his admission.  It’s been so long since I’ve touched someone, skin to skin.     You take his hand and guide it down your neck, letting his fingers flex briefly around your throat before you take it lower across your collarbone and down your chest to graze over the mound of your breast. You leave it there and let him linger and explore in his own time.     “It’s okay, Din - “ you squeeze his hand below yours, making him feel your soft flesh in reassurance. “You can touch me.”It was almost as if you undid a leash on him with your permission. He was quick with you and in the next moment he had you hauled into his lap, legs straddling his hips as he all but tore your shirt off, tossing it to the side of the chair. You let out an indignant squawk at his rough handling and you felt embarrassment under the sudden exposure. You moved to cover yourself but Din;s fingers wrapped around your wrists to keep your hands lowered at your sides.     “Please, let me…” he trailed off as he lifted his hands slowly and you noticed they had a slight tremble to them. Long fingers touched just beneath your jaw and trailed down your neck again, the tips warm and teasing. You could feel the hard line of his erection against your thigh and you knew that his touches weren’t all in innocent exploration.     His fingers traced over your collarbones again, twin images in their movements, and they dropped lower across the plane of your chest above your breasts. He smoothed his palms down and over, flush against you before they moved low, each hand taking a breast and weighing them in his cupped palms. The tips of his nails scrape over your nipples and you both watch as the skin puckers beneath the touch. He does it again and tweaks the nub at the end and it makes you gasp, your hands slipping lower to grip Din’s legs.     You wanted to touch him like he was touching you but you didn’t want to risk breaking the moment. So many times have you imagined this, imagined him touching you and it took a damned sliver in his hand to get you here.     “You’re so soft.” Din turns a hand over and lets his knuckles skim along the dip of your waist and the curve of your hip before stroking lightly across your belly, then back again. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of touching you. His fingers linger a bit longer when they dip along the hem of your pants and they slip beneath for a moment before surfacing again. A war waged in his mind and you hoped that the outcome would end up with your pants on the floor.     Din heaved a heavy sigh as his hands slid along your sides and up your back to the base of your skull where he threaded his fingers into your hair. You rocked closer, pressing into his chest as you leaned against him, chin resting on his shoulder. He was content to play with your hair there, his fingers rubbing along your head. You felt like there wasn’t a part of you that he hadn’t touched, above the band of your pants, and yet there was so little of him that you had yourself.     “Din, I want to touch you.” you paused, moving in his lap a little, hips shifting against his thigh in a slow grind, a small mischievous ploy to help get what you wanted. “Please?”     He hummed low in his chest but he didn’t make a move beyond a slight flex of his hands that were now on your shoulders, palms curving across the bend of bone and muscle. You arched into him again, your hips pressing more firmly against his own and your cunt dragged across his length again. Maker, you were wet just from him touching you like this.     “Din -” you began again but stopped when you heard the sound of a wrapper crinkle. You perked up and looked over Din’s shoulder and saw the very tip of one green ear in the next room over.     “Fuck, Din,” You scramble a little at seeing Grogu not ten feet away, and while he was preoccupied with scarfing down ration bars, you didn’t want to chance him seeing you topless on top of his Dad. “The kid.”     You get your shirt back on after getting to your feet and you watch Din adjust himself in his pants as he swivels the chair back around to face the control panel. Grogu looked over from the ration crate he had been plundering and cooed with happiness at finally being given attention. You ran a hand through your hair, composing yourself.     “I’ll get him back to bed,” you say shakily. “He was probably just looking for a snack.” Which he obviously found. You go to pick the kid up but Din stops you by catching your hand.     “Thank you for...that.” The last word was almost a mumble,  as if he was unsure how to explain what just happened between the two of you. You gave his hand a small squeeze.     “I would like to do it again, sometime. Maybe after I get the kid to bed?” It was a bold offer and you toed your luck with giving it up but after Din practically melding his hands into your skin, you thought you didn’t have much more to lose. Din squeezed your hand in return, though.     “I would like that.” ___     It took about an hour to get Grogu back to sleep after he had finished his snack of three ration bars and a concentrated juice pack. The endless stomach of the kid never ceased to amaze you, even after you’ve seen him eat about a dozen frogs on the last planet that you all had been on. When Din came to find you later, you had the kid in your arms, and were edging close to the land of sleep as well. You gave a somnolent smile and pressed a finger to your lips to ‘hush’ Din, even though he had appeared in the doorway without a sound. You set the kid inside his pod and clicked the button to slide the doors shut and waited a moment to see if there would be any fuss from the other side. When none came you sat on the edge of Din’s bed, heaving out a sigh of relief.     “He may be the cutest little cock-block that I have ever encountered in my life,” you jested. Din didn’t move from his stance against the doorway and it made you a little unsure of yourself. Your hands smoothed down your pants to rest on your knees as you contemplated what to do. What did Din think of everything before? Did he regret it now that time and space had been given to the both of you?     While you were with the kid you had reflected back on your actions as well and while you didn’t regret what had happened, you did regret that you didn’t take your time to assure Din that things would be fine between the both of you and that if he wanted to forget that it ever happened, you would act like such. You didn’t want to ruin anything between the two of you.     “It is late. I suppose I should let you get some sleep, too. I’ll pilot for a bit.” When you stood, Din finally spoke.     “Did you mean what you said before? About wanting to ‘do it again sometime’?”     You answered without really thinking, letting your heart lead first before your mind could catch and silence it.     “I did.”     Din’s head tipped and you imagined his eyes closing in thought and you wondered what he was thinking. You hoped it was about touching you again. Maker, you wanted him to touch you again.    “I would like that. Kriff - let me, please.” It sounded like a plea as he closed the distance between both of you, his hands sliding up to cup your face. His gloves were still off and his fingers were warm as they slid against your skin. The cool metal of his helmet dipped against your forehead to rest there as he held you close. It almost felt like a kiss and for all you knew, it was the closest thing you would get to having one with him. When you didn’t pull away Din shifted to press closer.     “Take off your clothes,” he softly whispered. “And lay on the bed.”    The command left you shaky with need and you fell into a gentle movement as you removed your clothing, Din stepping back enough to watch you expose yourself to him. You glanced briefly to the egg pod that Grogu was in and the lights blinked gently to indicate that the little one was still asleep inside. You would have to stay quiet.     Your shirt came first, up and over your head. The cool air of the ship made your skin raise with gooseflesh and Din reached out to touch your arm, thumb rubbing over the prickled flesh. Your chest heaved with heavy breaths as you leaned down to take off your pants and underwear in one go, Din’s hand slipping into your hair as you did. He wasn’t making this any easier.     “On the bed.” It sounded like it was more for himself than you but you moved away from his touch and laid where you were told to, propping yourself up by your elbows as you watched Din move to kneel before you. Awareness sprung to the forefront of your mind and you realized just how very naked you were and it made you blush.     Din was slow, too, as he reached to touch the bone of your ankle and up, his palm curving over your shin to form against your leg. It was so tender, how he touched you, and you reveled in it. His touch slid higher towards the warmth between your legs and you shut your eyes, head tipping back as his knee knocked your legs apart to reveal yourself to him. “Mesh’la,” he muttered, his fingers stopped at your hip as he looked you over. You felt so hot under his gaze even though you couldn’t see anything past the black visor. Arching into his touch you allowed your legs to bend and your hips shift up so he could see all. His hand traveled from your hip to the space just below your belly and his heel dragged across your pubic mound, then further.     He covered you fully at first, his palm curling before his fingers dragged along your outer lips then inner. You canted your hips up into the touch and the very tips of his fingers pressed inside. You moaned out his name before remembering you needed to be quiet and you pressed a hand against your mouth as he explored further up to the first knuckle of one finger.     You were already so slick and open for him and it made it easy for him to slide all the way in and then pull back out to add a second finger. He slowly fucked you with his hand and when he curled his fingers up you had to catch yourself from pitching forward. It was so good - almost enough. You reached down to join his hand and you spread yourself with your fingers, your thumb pressing against your clit.     “Here,” you breathed. “Touch here, too. Steady and slow. Don’t go fast, not yet.”     Din’s thumb flicked up and over and you bucked up again into the touch. His free hand came down on your stomach, pressing your hips back into the mattress as he rubbed small circles on your clit while his fingers remained in you, stretching you full.     “Kriff -that’s so good.” It was a praise that spurred him forward, keeping his thumb pressed down but speeding up to a quicker stroke. Your body arched up despite his hold and you twisted beneath him as you felt the head of your arousal rumble deep. A thin sheen of sweat broke across your skin as Din kept at you, steady and so beautifully dedicated. He listened to your whines and pants of pleasure and adapted to it.     “I’m gonna - fuck…” Your hands twist in the sheets of the bed, your entire being becoming taught as your orgasm builds beneath Din’s hands.     “Cum for me, ad’ika.”     You do, your legs shaking as Din strokes the fire within, along your clit, and through your body’s movements beneath him. He rides your release with you and you know he’s watching it all, his gaze behind the helmet heavy on your flushed skin.     Through your haze you can feel how gentle he is with you, his hand no longer bringing you over the edge but now coaxing you to ride the slope down. He holds you, your leg and your hip, his thumbs peeling over and over against the skin in a gentle worshiping caress. Blinking lazily you turn to him, glance down between his own legs and see the dark patch gathering there and you couldn’t help but smile. He hushes you and moves to cover your body with his own, his weight held up by the frame of his arms.     “Thank you,” Din’s voice is soft through the vocoder.     “Let me -” You reach down between the both of you but Din catches your wrist.     “Not tonight. Let’s just stay like this,” He pauses as you frown a little. “Please,” He adds and you agree, settling beneath the cover of his body in the knowledge that he just wanted to take care of you and take greedy touches of your skin. The warm weight of him sends you in and out of sleep and you twist to settle more comfortably on your side. Din moves with you and lays behind, his body pressed up to every inch of your backside and legs twining with yours.

It was, perhaps, the best way you have fallen asleep in a very long time.

Hiya. This is chapter 11. After you catch Poe answering an urgent, early morning hologram he confesses that the woman is an ex girlfriend from his spice runner days.

Meaning that he immediately started seeing someone else as soon as he left Yavin 4.

Why does she need Poe's help?

You feel angry, betrayed and doubt that the wedding will actually happen now.

Warnings, angst, XXX smut, not for anyone under 18.

Twenty years earlier

Poe had 0 regrets running away from home. He didn't want to be a farmer like his father. Staying on Yavin 4 made him restless, like his destiny had been sealed.

Zorii Bliss was a fellow spice runner and around the same age as him, but to Poe she seemed so much more mature, like a real woman.

He felt like a boy around her.

Unlike you, there was no girlish innocence about her.

His growing attraction, and relationship, with Zorii made him feel a little guilty. Poe was still very much in love with you when he left, but his hormones got the best of him.

Up until that evening he had only shared a few kisses with Zorii, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't want more from her.

Zorii was a natural leader too, Poe had always found himself attracted to tough, strong women.

It's shortly after his 17th birthday. Poe had been celibate for what felt like an eternity to him, nearly 6 months.

He was craving intimacy from a woman again, he wanted to taste and feel the female body once more.

Him and Zorii were alone aboard the spice freighter. The chemistry, and attraction, between them was growing difficult to ignore.

"You need to keep your helmet off more". Poe teased Zorii, smiling a little. "I'd love to see your beautiful face more often".

With a slight laugh Zorii indulged him, removing her helmet.

Poe leaned over his seat and softly caressed her cheek while looking deeply into her lovely green eyes.

She was absolutely smitten with him, and what woman wouldn't be? He may have been only 17 but he was wise, brave and mature.

Zorii and Poe share a passionate, open mouthed kiss, a far cry from the soft and tender kisses that they normally shared.

"I want you". Poe whispered into her ear.

"Oh Poe". Zorii replied with a slightly mischievous smile on her face. "You can have me".

The makeout session quickly moved into the sleeping quarters of the ship.

He was so aroused that it felt like all the blood in his body had rushed to his rock hard cock, making him feel lightheaded.

Poe and Zorii hurriedly removed their clothing, as soon as she saw his large, rock hard cock she instinctively dropped to her knees and took as much of him inside her mouth.

Zorii was extremely skilled at what she was doing. Poe scooped her up in his strong arms, placed her on the bottom bunk, and with her legs dangling over the edge kneeled in front of her.

With two fingers inside of her wetness Poe began to lick and suck on her clit, making her squirm and moan in ecstasy.

"Fuck, you're good". Zorii moaned loudly as she began to grind her hips against his mouth. "No, actually you're incredible at this, wow".

Poe replaced his fingers with his tongue, Zorii arched her back and screamed from absolute delight as she experienced an intense orgasm.

"Shhhh, the rest of the crew could show up any time". Poe warned with a slight laugh.

"I don't give a damn, let them hear us". Zorii replied quickly with a slight laugh.

He was worried about getting caught, so when the time came for intercourse Poe pulled the privacy curtain to the bunk closed.

It was a tight squeeze but Poe and Zorii managed to position themselves on their sides. As soon as his thick, hard cock penetrated her from behind she cried out,

"Damn, you're huge".

A few moments later they both heard voices and the unmistakable sound of boots on the metal floor of the ship.

Poe put his hand over Zorii's mouth and whispered,

"Shhhh, they'll hear us!"

Zorii struggled to keep quiet as Poe fucked her, he kept his hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle her moans.

With a silent groan Poe experienced his own orgasm deep inside of her.

Afterwards both of them hastily got dressed and retreated to their own bunks before they got caught.

Present day

You couldn't believe his words.

"Girlfriend?!" You exclaim, jumping out of bed. "I thought I was your girlfriend!"

"I'm not excusing my behavior but I was 17". Poe replied, looking like he was on the verge of tears. "I was young and horny, we both were, I never loved her as much as I loved you".

"But you're still acknowledging there were some feelings there". You tell him as the tears stream down your face. "How could you?!"

"Babe, please". Poe begs as he tries to put his arm around you. "You have to understand where I'm coming from".

"Noone made you leave". You reply angrily as you push him away, the bitterness evident in your voice. "You made the decision to abandon me".

"I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't love Zorii just to make you feel better!" Poe snapped back, anger flashing in his eyes. "Her mother has been taken into custody by a bounty hunter and she needs my help".

"When you get home I won't be here". You warn as you angrily start to get dressed. "I don't even think I want to go through with the wedding anymore".

"So you're punishing me for something that happened 20 years ago?" Poe asked, an incredulous look appearing on his face.

"No, I'm punishing you for abandoning your pregnant girlfriend to go help a supposed ex!" You scream back.

"How fucking dare you?!"

You leave, and go to the only friend you have on D'qar.

Her name is Esmaria and she lives nearby. She was your classmate on Yavin 4.

You knock frantically at her front door, as soon as she opens it she says,

"You and Poe are having trouble, aren't you?"

"You could say that". You explain with a deep sigh as you flop down on her sofa. "I found out that Poe immediately started seeing someone else when he left home 20 years ago".

"20 years ago? You're punishing the guy for a mistake he made when he was a teenager?" Esmaria replies with a slightly shocked look on her face. "That's a little much, even for you".

"Oh no, that's not it". You continue, your face red from anger. "Her mother is in trouble and he's leaving to help her, his ex contacted him early this morning and asked for his assistance, and he's going to her".

"Oh, okay, ouch". Esmaria replied quickly as she sat down next to you. "Yeah, I wouldn't be too happy either, being pregnant and all".

"Can I stay with you?" You ask as you fight back tears. "I don't even want to look at him right now".

"Sure, you can stay as long as you want". She replies quickly, a sincere smile appearing on her face. "I take it that there isn't going to be a wedding now?"

"I don't know". You reply, bursting into tears. "I mean, I still love him, I'm carrying his child, it's complicated".

"I think you just need to cool off, you're all whacked out on hormones". Your friend tells you with a slight smile.

"I hope you're right". You reply, smiling lightly. "But I'm worried that Poe seeing her will stir up old emotions".

You then burst into tears, as your friend rubs your back in an attempt to calm you down you confess,

"But I'm more worried that something will happen to him, he's going into a potentially dangerous situation".

"But he's also Poe Dameron". Esmaria reminds you with a slight smile.

End of chapter 11

Misconception

Description: With every member of the gaang having such busy schedules this is the first time in months they can meet up and Aang and Katara have a very exciting announcement that leaves Sokka a little confused

Ao3 link

It was a sunday and the Jasmine Dragon had just closed for the evening but eight guests still remained. Iroh placed down the last batch of tea he made for the day at the large table that held his nephew and his friends. With everyone’s busy schedule this was the first time in months that team avatar had been able to all get together.

Aang being the avatar and splitting his time between restoring the air temples and guiding the community of air acolytes and having to travel all over for his diplomatic duties. Katara more often than not deciding to travel with Aang on his missions, even more so now that they are married.

The wedding had been a beautiful ceremony that the villagers of Kyoshi island graciously offered to hold. Aang and Katara discussed for awhile where to hold the ceremony- not wanting to do the air temples or the south pole as it would be too isolating to one of their cultures so they decided to go with a neutral area and Kyoshi island was perfect, they also loved that since it was a smaller island that it would be much harder for strangers who were fascinated with the avatar and the extremely powerful water bender. Aang was mostly happy with the location because he was determined to finally ride the elephant koi with Katara, and despite much protest they did. They later allowed King Kuei, who was disappointed when the couple had told him they only wanted a small wedding ceremony, to hold a large party in celebration for their marriage. King Kuei was eager to throw a party for anything.

Sokka and Suki had also been married since the war had ended and they both switched around from living in the south pole to help with running the tribe where Sokka was also training underneath his father for when he eventually became chief of the tribe, and staying in the fire nation where Suki and the Kyoshi warriors resided protecting the Firelord and the Firelady.

Zuko had obviously been very busy even more so in the past 5 months now that his wife Mai became pregnant. The pregnancy has not been treating Mai very well and although they were both excited to have a child, Mai has not been happy about having to decline from going to many events and her boredom most days was ever present, needless to say she was thrilled to be out with everyone.

Toph was also as busy ever with her constantly growing metal bending academy, it was hard work to teach metal bending and the handful of people who doubted her teaching skills because of her lack of sight but it was worth it in the end. Toph loved to show off to the skeptical newcomers and she enjoyed even more bossing people around.

Finally Ty lee was there who was as giddy as ever to see everyone. Over the past years since the war had ended she had been helping Suki with the kyoshi warriors and holding up her end of the deal and teaching all the girls chi blocking.

They had all been conversing about menial things like what they’ve each been up to in the past months since they had all last been together. When there was a lull in the conversation Katara stood up and cleared her throat to gain the attention of everyone at the table.

“I have an announcement to- I mean have an announcement we’d like to make” Katara proclaimed, nudging Aang mid sentence to stand up with her. He had quickly put down the cup of tea he was sipping on to join Katara in being the center of everyone’s gaze.

Everyone had been expecting an announcement about the completion of the restoration of one of the air temples because they knew the project had been doing very well since they had all spoken. So they were all a little shocked when Katara and Aang both proclaimed in unison “we’re having a baby!”.

All of Aang and Katara’s friends had gotten up from their seats to go up and hug and congratulate the happy couple.

“Oh my golly this is just so exciting” exclaimed Ty lee.

“That explains the extra heartbeat I could feel, I thought Mai and Zuko were just having twins” Toph states.

“Hell no, it’s just one little devil in me” Mai says in relief while Zuko chuckles a little at his wife’s response to Toph’s comment. “Hopefully you have an easier time with your pregnancy than I am having cause I can’t wait for this little fucker to get out of my body” she said to Katara while smiling at her own swollen belly.

“Happy for you man” Zuko said as he teared his attention away from Mai. “It will be so cool to see our children grow up together”

“I’m so excited to be an aunt!” Suki expressed “a nice new warrior to train”.

The whole group was expressing their congratulations all except Sokka who still sat at his place at the table with a face that conveyed more confusion than shock.

“What’s wrong Sokka? Aren’t you excited you’re gonna be an uncle” Suki questioned her husband when she noticed his absence from the group. Everyone had diverted their attention to Sokka having just noticed his lack of excitement as well.

“It’s great but I’m just a little confused about how you are pregnant Katara” Sokka answered. Everyone was very confused by Sokka’s reply and didn’t understand what he was asking.

“You know how babies are made snoozles, I had the unfortunate experience of feeling it with my feet when we all camped together before the comet” Toph pointed out causing Suki to blush.

“No no I know how babies are made but I thought you were a monk Aang. Don’t monks not do that kind of stuff” Sokka replied embarrassed by Toph’s comment.

The group stood in silence for half a minute in shock at Sokka’s misconception about Katara and Aang’s relationship.

“You thought we were celibate?!” Katara exclaimed breaking the silence while shaking her head at her brother.

“Uh no we do do that kind of stuff” Aang embarrassingly replied to Sokka’s question.

“What!? For how long?!” Sokka yelled. “Don’t answer that,” he added before Katara or Aang could answer.

“Why would you think that, they’re literally in charge of repopulating the air nation” Zuko pointed about.

“I don’t know, I didn’t really think that far I thought Aang would just use his energy bending powers to give the air acolytes air bending. I thought that’s why they joined! I mean why else would someone willingly give up meat!” Sokka answered, horrified with the thought of Katara and Aang together in a way he didn’t think would happen because of what Sokka thought was the air monk’s belief system.

“Uh no that’s not how energy bending works, I would need to take away from someone first” Aang began to explain “also me and Katara would be happy even if this one isn’t an airbender, besides we plan to have more children in the future if this one goes well and chances are at least one of them will be an airbender” Aang added in response to Zuko’s repopulation comment.

They all began to laugh at Sokka’s horribly incorrect assumption while sokka half heartedly congratulated his sister and his best friend. He would later be totally excited about the idea of having a little niece or nephew to teach the way of the boomerang and sword to but at this moment he had the slight and not uncommon urge to fight Aang for knocking up his little sister that he had trouble viewing as a grown woman.

The group continued to converse the rest of the night about the exciting news. While Ty lee gave a list of what she thought were totally awesome baby names to Aang and Katara. Mai and Zuko had heard the list many times from ty lee despite explaining to her that they had already had names picked out, Izumi if a girl and Iroh II if a boy. Mai offered pregnancy tips to Katara while Zuko warned Aang to follow every single one of Katara’s eventual demands as he tells the story to the rest of the group of him almost ending up with a knife in his foot after he had told Mai to get her own fire flakes to emphasize his point. The little story had received a smug smile from Mai and a laugh from everyone in the group who were not surprised that Mai had done that.

As the sky grew dark and their conversations wrapped up they had all decided to return to their respective dwellings and go their separate ways for the night. They had all thanked Iroh for the nice pot of tea and in return everyone received a nice warm hug from him, he gave an extra tight hug to Aang and Katara “I’m sure that you two will be very amazing parents and I can’t wait to see your little family grow” he assured them with a smile.

Katara and Aang began to walk back hand in hand to the home Zuko gave them during their stay in the fire nation with smiles on their face from the joyful evening they had with all their friends. Katara leaned into her husband while resting her head on his muscular shoulders.

“ You know I’m really grateful that my brother’s assumption was wrong” she whispered in his ear before placing a kiss on his neck.

Aang turned his face to meet with Katara’s whose eyes still glimmered even in the darkness of the night. “Me too” he replied, placing a kiss on Katara’s lips with a smile while placing his hand on Katara’s stomach where a little baby that was truly made from love was growing.

No one asked, but here’s my abuse history because, fuck it, I wanted to write it. 

When I was very young, things were really good in my family. I have very fond memories of my early childhood. 

Things kinda started to shift when I was ~age 8. My dad became really depressed. I didn’t know that at the time. Tbh, I was kinda blissfully ignorant. I just kinda assumed “of course he spends a lot of the day in bed, napping is cool and he has a TV in his room.” But things got a bit tense because my older sister was often left in charge and she had more awareness than I did that his yelling at us and staying in bed a lot weren’t right. I think that his behavior contributed to my sister’s poor mental health. 

The other big thing that contributed was the school and church my family went to. There were good elements, but both the school and the church were very homophobic. My sister knew she was gay from a very young age. So, she grew up surrounded by people who at best thought she had better stay single/celibate forever. The homophobia was a lot worse than that, but I’ll spare the two people who have read this far the details. 

When I was around age eleven, my parents started leaving my sister and I home alone. This is when my sister began physically abusing me. She’s a good person and I don’t want to smear her name too much. But she was terrifying to be around. She would tell me to do stuff for her - make her food, bring her water, etc. - and then if I tried to refuse she beat me. She usually just hit me and shoved me, but she graduated to frequently choking me. 

When we went to school, sometimes she would beat me in front of her friends. Other times, she would beat me for doing something “wrong” (crying in public, being annoying, embarrassing her). 

When I was fifteen, she attempted suicide twice. She then expressed to the family that she was no longer a Christian because God let her suffer through depression, anxiety, and nightmares. When she later came out, she made it clear that her sexuality and the way she had been treated by the Church also played a role. I freely admit that I didn’t handle this as well as I could have. There were times I tried to convince her she should be a Christian. Those also led to beatings. 

The last time she ever beat me was pretty bad, and, if you could ever say I had it coming, this was it. I was trying to evangelize to her, and I referenced my friend. My friend was biracial. My sister called her the N-word. I slapped her for it. I admit I was wrong for the way I went about my evangelism and for slapping her. But I cannot describe how furious my sister was. She repeatedly began alternating between hitting me and choking me. I was praying to God that He would help my family forgive her for murdering me because I was certain I was going to be killed. 

Then she let go and broke down crying, apologizing for hurting me. That was the last time she ever laid a hand on me. 

She and I have both done a lot of growing and healing, and we’re best friends now. I don’t know how that’s possible after we hurt each other the way we did, but it’s really good now, even though I definitely still have scars from the experience. I have forgiven her, and I hope she’s forgiven me. 

"What?", answered Kim snippy.

"You got your will again."

"Marshall?", she asked.

He snorted in agreement. Who else would he be? He wished, he could be somebody else for a change. "Happy now? You won, like always."

"What're you talking about?"

"Nicolas, he broke up with me. Go ahead, dance with glee or whatever."

She was silent for a moment, likely to collect her composure to not break out laughing. "It's for the best, you know that. Maybe you can find a nice girl now?"

"You don't really believe that." Nice girls didn't end up with guys like him.

"I sincerely hope so. And if the therapy really works well, maybe there's a way for things to work out eventually for you." That almost was a nice thing to say. Didn't sound like her at all.

Marshall frowned. "Did something happen?"

"I don't take joy in your misery, Marsh." Her voice was soft. He knew this tone, she was happy. Why was she happy, but he was still miserable? This wasn't fair. "Just, I know you take things to heart, sometimes too much. Don't do anything rash, alright? Go home, crawl into bed and cry your eyes out. In a few days, it'll get better."

Marshall snorted abrasive. "Pass. Strip club sounds like more fun, don't you think?"

"Not really", she answered, "Sounds like you getting into trouble again."

"It's a club, there ain't no trouble there." Just music and attractive women and his friends. Friends weren't trouble.

She sighed impatiently. "Why did he break up with you?"

Marshall bit his lips, but he admitted: "I cheated on him." She should know without asking.

"See. Do you really think, going to a strip club is a solution? You're just doing more of the same."

"What does it matter? He broke up already." Wasn't like he got Nicolas back by becoming celibate now. As if you could, homo. What was your longest dry spell? A month, maybe half a year if we're generous and mostly 'cause you was too depressed to get out of bed. Since you sucked your first dick, you've gotten around pretty good. Not that he wanted the bastard back!

"Either you change, or you need to stop wailing", she explained growing annoyed. A hint of exhaustion as well. "Honestly, I never really understood that. I mean, it's not much fun like this, with a stranger. They don't know what they're doing. If anything, it's degrading and nasty and cheap."

That was precisely were the fun was. "It's 'cause you ain't much fun, of course you don't understand."

"I ain't much fun? Fuck you, Marshall, fuck you", predictably that made her angry. He still knew how to push her buttons. "At least I got a standard for who I go out with, you take everybody. I'm surprised you ain't dead yet."

Probably, your bad luck ran out dealing with the rest of your life. Or, fate has humor and wants to see where your stupid ass ends up. That's what I'm here for. "Runs in the family. Besides, what good is a standard anyway? Look what yours got you: two divorces and two baby daddies. Whatever standard that is, ain't one to praise."

Her voice strained with fake calmness. "You was different, when I met you, you know. A little peculiar but a nice guy. All this money and fame shot to your head."

"Oh, fuck that", he replied dismissive. "That got nothing to do with it."

"No?", she asked back disbelieving. "The drugs and groupies didn't come from that? Of course it did."

He couldn't help but burst out laughing for a moment. "If I had any money when we met, I would've been high most of the time. That shit's expensive. And groupies or no groupies, I cheated on you anyway. Did you know, I went out of my way so you wouldn't be my first time? No groupies involved yet, just me thinking I rather fuck somebody else."

"You're proud of that?"

Yes. "Just sayin', you made a bad choice from the get-go. Live with it." He shrugged, invisible to her.

"Like you are?", she asked disapproving. "You hook up with strippers and hookers and groupies and just random people all the fucking time, but act all surprised when you get dumped. Take your own advice, live with the choices you make."

"I am!", he snapped back.

"Then why're you calling me?" … Actually, good question. "I tell you: 'cause you don't. You want your cake and eat it, too, but it doesn't work that way. Get a fucking standard, find a nice enough girl and stay with her, for heaven's sake. It's not that hard. Like, you have a standard for every stupid thing under the sun, but not for this. That isn't normal, Marshall. Get help."

Confused, he asked: "What're you talking about? I don't have a standard for everything, that's idiotic." He was very nitpicky about his music, of course, but the rest wasn't really that important. Sure, he found it aggravating when things didn't go as planned, but what kind of weirdo found that pleasing?

"Yes, you do. Remember, how we got thrown out from the movies 'cause of you? 'Cause you couldn't sit just anywhere like a normal person, no, you had to make a scene and berate the guy who sat in your place first." He wanted to interject that a good view was essential at the movies, but she went on: "Or how about my wedding dress? You had to fuss about every little detail, every frill and shit needed your fucking inspection every five fucking minutes. That should've been my job, you know that, right? But you had a vision, that's what you said, a vision. You changed my necklace like six times. Who does that?" He wanted to interject that a wedding was a big fucking deal, but she went on: "Or how about the fact, that I couldn't rearrange the pillows on the couch without you throwing a tantrum? How's that normal behavior? It isn't."

"It's just pillows", he huffed, finally getting a word in, "You can put them where you want."

"Oh no", she disagreed sternly, "I couldn't and believe me, I tried, but Mr. I-had-it-perfect-just-now couldn't handle me changing up the pillows. But you changing who you sleep with on a daily basis, that works fine? That's just weird, Marshall, that's more than weird. You're sick and you need to talk with your therapist about this. Seriously." Sounded like she had a minor epiphany just now.

"About what? I don't know what you're talking about." Couldn't she make sense for a change? Was that really too much to ask? "So what if I like a good view at the movies or wanted our wedding to be perfect. That ain't a crime."

"I'm not saying it is, just … Shouldn't you be at least as picky about who you sleep with as you are about on which side of the plate your potatoes go?"

"How's that the same thing?", he asked back confused. This was a stupid conversation. Potatoes went on the right side, everyone knew that.

"It's not, that's my point", she explained.

"Know what, this is stupid. Bye." Marshall hung up.

...

Snippet from my story "Love Is Ǝvil".

Growing Pains

angst angst angst angst

Obi-Wan x reader, inspired by Growing Pains by Maria Mena

“Have we considered,” Cody asked Anakin one evening, “That he hasn’t been, well, cared for since his Master died?” Obi-Wan was sitting a little further away from the crowded circle – not outside, but just far enough to not be touching. Anakin’s gaze followed Obi-Wan’s to his own Padawan, where she was laughing with Rex, sitting amongst the Clones. Knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder. Touch had always come naturally to him, and to her in turn. But Obi-Wan… since Anakin had grown out of his need for almost constant physical affection, so too had Obi-Wan grown away from touching him.

No one will tell you about the limit They put on how long you can grieve

“You have a Padawan to train, Knight Kenobi.” Mace’s face was hard and drawn. “There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no death, there is the Force. It is time to move on.” The funeral pyres had barely been put out. Only a week after Naboo. “He’s not doing anything wrong!” Anakin argued, eyes flashing, still bright and shiny and new to all of this. Mace looked down at him with distaste. “Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed, flatly. Anakin grumbled something, still glaring at Mace from beside his unseeing Master. “Is that all, Master Windu?”

No one will warn you when you're winning How heavy a lost love can be

“There was a girl, once,” he answered, eventually. “I don’t know if she was a Jedi… Certainly powerful with the Force. She was the first one to make him smile, after Qui-Gon… after Naboo.” “Not you?” Cody asked, curiously. “I mean, the General has always looked at you and Ahsoka as though you’re the greatest good in the galaxy.” Anakin chuckled, dryly. “Even when he’s mad.” “We grew into that,” he admitted, memory wandering back to the cynical, but kind boy who’d greeted him on Tatooine. “But (Y/N) was something special.”

They do not tell you about the friendships You'll lose once the lights are dimmed down

“Master Windu.” Even Obi-Wan’s gaze lifted at the new voice – you, standing in the doorway of the courtyard, emerald robes billowing around you. “I’ll take it from here.” Your tone brooked no argument, but Mace still hesitated, disapproval ready on his lips. “Or perhaps you’d like to further disgrace Qui-Gon’s ghost?” He physically flinched at that, and you could not find it within you to find any satisfaction in the reaction. “I’ll inform the Grand Master,” he hissed out, whirling past you into the Temple. You descended the steps slowly, gracefully, until he was out of sight, then you were running. Anakin almost wondered if your feet even touched the ground as you hurried towards them. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner.” And, for the first time since Obi-Wan had carried his Master’s body out of that generator, Anakin watched tears form in his eyes. “I couldn’t get a transport, and then – oh, Obi.” You let him melt into you, hiding his tears in your shoulder. “We’ll be alright.”

How humble you'll feel about your past bliss Once the tables have turned 'round

But I wanna tell you I got through The hardest of times on my own

“That doesn’t seem like making him smile,” Cody commented, dryly. Anakin whacked him in the shoulder. “Padawan Skywalker,” you smiled at him, pulling your door open. “And Obi-Wan. Come on in.” The space was, in many of the same ways Qui-Gon’s had been, not quite the stark, blank canvas of a Jedi’s room. A small bookshelf stood in one corner, books ranging from old Jedi texts to fairytales from around the galaxy to books on political history. A cracked kyber crystal glowed on one shelf, and a rack of spices spun on your kitchen counter. A couple of cushions, faded and worn, decorated your old couch, along with a patched throw. You had discarded your robe in favour of a light long-sleeved shirt to manage Coruscant’s oppressive summer heat. “Something smells delicious,” Obi-Wan commented, his voice still quiet, but brightening. “That’s promising. But I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see if I’ve lost my touch when you taste it, Knight Kenobi,” you smiled, quickly excusing yourself, leaving Anakin and Obi-Wan in the living room as you began serving dinner. You returned, balancing three bowls as you made your way towards the wooden dining table, bare except for the small pot of blooming vormur flowers in the centre. “Is that what I think it is?” Obi-Wan’s eyes widened as he and Anakin made their way to the table. “Stewjoni dumplings,” you grinned, triumphantly, finally coaxing a true smile out of Obi-Wan’s reserved deference. “It has not been so long that I have forgotten your favourite dish.”

I made some mistakes I made a few But I learned that I am strong

“So where’d she go, then?” Cody asked. Obi-Wan stood, and met Anakin’s gaze across the fire. He offered a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Anakin shrugged, noncommittally. “From what I gathered over her brief stay, she wasn’t particularly popular with the Council,” he explained, poking at the campfire with a stick. “She didn’t wear the typical robes, she back-chatted, she had normal emotions. Not exactly your ideal Jedi.” Obi-Wan disappeared back into the ship, leaving the rest of the soldiers to their brief respite.

And just because it hurts Doesn't mean it isn't worth it

“(Y/N) is a Mandalorian name,” Ahsoka pointed out the next day. Cody looked up at her in surprise. “What? I know things.” “Well, yes, but…” He trailed off. “You don’t think she could’ve been that (Y/N), do you?” Ahsoka raised an eyebrow. “Which one?” “Hey!” You dropped from the ceiling, landing on Maul’s shoulders and throwing him to the ground. Satine gasped a deep breath. “Why don’t you try that on someone your own size?” “So Kyr’am lives,” Maul hissed, spinning on his heel to face you. “You really should learn what titles mean before you say things like that.” You caught his blow, red clashing against white. “And you didn’t really think a little thing like a crash would kill me, did you?” “All the better,” he sneered. “I can kill you, then the Duchess, and see how Kenobi likes that.”

And even if it stings It's just a temporary thing

“A white lightsaber is a Grey Jedi thing,” Ahsoka hummed, thoughtfully. “So it could well be her. Sounds like Master Kenobi knew her, definitely.” “Kyr’am is basically a myth,” Cody told her, tiredly. “Her name literally means “death”. But she’s really just the General’s ex?” He paused, letting that register for a moment. “How does that even work? Jedi are sworn celibates.” “I’m pretty sure the only people who follow the Code to the letter are Master Windu and Master Yoda,” Ahsoka told him, matter-of-factly, “The former because he has a rod up his arse, and the latter because he’s 900 years old and no one wants to see that.” She clapped him on the back and strolled down the hallway, leaving him gaping after her.

I'm not saying that changing Won't cost you love won't make you cry,

“You’re making a mistake.” Your old Master sat across the room from you, smaller than you had seen him in a long time. “Disgrace us you do,” he answered, not meeting your eyes. “His judgement you cloud.” “We are not the ones whose judgement is clouded,” you retorted, holding your head high. Mace scoffed. “I am not the one making this decision from fear.” You looked around the chambers – a few cold eyes meeting yours, but most gazes shrinking from your defiance. “Fine. But know this – if any disgrace is done to the Force, it is done in this room. Not in the temples of Jedha. Not in the paths of the Grey. The Sith rise and threaten us all – threaten the very societies we live in; threaten our peace; threaten the prosperity that some among us have accrued; and threaten most of all the vulnerable among us. And you sit enthroned in your precious Temple passing judgement on those of us who do the dirty work you turn a blind eye to.” You met Mace’s eyes, and a sharp smile carved onto your darkened face. “This Council shames the Jedi and all that they have stood for. And you, Master,” you glared down at your Master, who was still adamantly avoiding your eyes, “Your 900 years have made you stubborn and unseeing, and the galaxy will pay for it.”

But it will all make sense... When the growing pains subside

“Jedha,” Anakin repeated, staring at Ahsoka and Cody as though they’d each sprouted another three heads. “You want me to look for a Mandalorian cryptid who may or may not be Obi-Wan’s ex on Jedha.” Ahsoka didn’t even have the courtesy to hesitate before nodding eagerly. “Have you considered that if I am the dubious one, this may be a mistake?”

Jedha was a cold planet – a desert, plummeted into icy frost on evening, dotted by frosted mesas. Having listened to nothing but wind humming in his ears for eight hours, Anakin almost didn’t notice the eerily familiar singing floating out of the abandoned mountaintop temple.

Nothing can shield you from the silence Nights spent on his side of the bed

The inside of the temple glowed with the warmth of a campfire, the gentle soothing of a song etched somewhere in his heart. He hesitated in the doorway, images of Padmé, of the life they could have, of her dead on stony ground. Fear and hope and love and bitterness, warring in his mind, weaved into the web of the song. He stepped inside.

Praying for help to please stop crying My life just got turned on its head

Shrouded in robes of the same emerald green, you sat cross-legged before the fire, upon which a small kettle boiled. You looked up at him – crows feet crinkling around the edges of the youthful eyes in his memory, a few hesitant streaks of silver streaking your hair like starlight. “You have grown.” You lifted the kettle from the fire. The mug was blissfully warm between his frozen hands as he crouched next to the fire. You watched him, placidly, sipping your own tea. “I am surprised I didn’t find you on a battlefield,” he admitted, eventually. You smiled, sadly. “This has taken some getting used to.” You peeled back your skirt to reveal a metal foot, exoskeletal braces disappearing up into your robe.

They fail to explain how complex love is... Like why I mostly miss him as a friend

“I am not the same woman I was when you and your Master knew me, Knight Skywalker.” Your fingers tapped a mesmerising rhythm into the metal mug. “Nor are we,” Anakin countered, grinning in the face of your flat gaze. “After 13 years, I’d imagine we’d change. And certainly, this war has changed us all.” He could feel your Force presence thrumming across from him, but could not read it – a hard wall struck up between the two of you, allowing him barely a glimpse of your familiar aura. You hummed, and returned your gaze to the fire.

Or how big of a blow, it was for my ego That she might be better for him

“I admit, I am confused as to why you are here.” You refused to look up at him. “Rather than on Mandalore. Satine is everything Obi-Wan needs, Anakin.” Here, you finally looked up at him. “A pacifist, she shares his ideals but is not afraid to challenge his methods. It cannot be a secret to you that they call me Kyr’am.” There were nights you laid awake, bathed in the light of your ‘saber, not tearing your gaze from the white plasma blade for fear that when you looked back it would be stained red. “Satine cared about Obi-Wan.” Cody’s words rang in his memory. “But not for him.” You pursed your lips, searching his face. For what, Anakin didn’t know.

But I wanna tell you I got through The hardest of times on my own

Landing on Vicondor in Anakin’s M ship was a surreal experience – trees parting around you to reveal two large troop carriers in the clearing. A crowd of clone troopers lazed around the clearing, clearly taking advantage of their brief respite from the war. A small Togruta girl hurried out from among them as you stepped out of the ship. “He’s coming and he’s mad,” she warned, “You better have his girlfriend on there or nothing is going to save us.” You poked your head out, and she immediately breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m –“ “Enjoy your midnight stroll?” Her introduction was immediately cut off by the cuttingly dry question. “How are you this morning, Master?” Anakin asked, too politely. “You retired early last night, are you quite well?” Peaking out from between Anakin and Ahsoka, you saw Obi-Wan narrow his eyes. “What are you up to?” Anakin failed to suppress a grin. “A Padawan of yours, up to something?” you asked, feigning incredulity, “What’s next, Master Windu smiling?”

I made some mistakes I made a few But I learned that I am strong

“Obi-Wan, you’re my best friend,” you told him, sternly, “But if you don’t sit still while I heal this so help me I will throw you back out there with the Fyrnocks.” “You wouldn’t dare,” he protested, nevertheless restricting himself to wincing at the anti-septic. “I dared to learn Jedha dark transfer. I dared to look Master Windu in the eye and tell him to pull the rod out of his arse. Don’t think I wouldn’t dare dangle you down there as bait, you reckless fool of a Jedi,” you scolded, the light glow of Force-healing now flitting around your fingertips.

And just because it hurts Doesn't mean it isn't worth it

“If I’m a reckless fool of a Jedi when I know I have one of the best healers in the Galaxy available,” Obi-Wan demanded, hauling you into his arms, “What does that make you?” Somewhere in the woods behind you were his men. Your men. Cody. Blasters dropping from their last shots – on their General. What choice did you have?

And even if it stings It's just a temporary thing

“It’s over, Anakin.” Mustafar burned around you, but you couldn’t focus on the battle. “I have the high ground.” Sweat streamed from your brow as you knelt over the frail body beside you, belly still swollen with the children she and Anakin should have raised together. Darkness flittered from your fingertips, and she gasped, eyes flying open. In an instant, you were carrying her to the ship. Weak, drooping, but still breathing.

And no one said that changing Won't cost you love won't make you cry,

The boy fretted in Padmé’s arms as you cradled the young girl – well fed, content, and drifting off to sleep. Blissfully unaware of the image haunting behind your eyes, behind Padmé’s, behind Obi-Wan’s. Anakin, broken and burning on that stony ground, eyes burning yellow.

But it will all make sense When the growing pains subside

Tatooine blistered before you all – a baby cradled in each of Padmé’s arms, your hand fixed on the hilt of a new songsteel blade you had gambled for while Obi-Wan bartered a price for a speeder to get you out of town. Lightsabers were too obvious – just a heavy weight, now, hidden beneath your emerald robes.

And just because it hurts Doesn't mean it isn't worth it

You sang Padmé to sleep that night, the twins tucked into a makeshift cot beside her bed. She was so young to have lost so much. Her parents. Her planet. Her husband. The Republic. And yet here she was, still fighting. For something. Something better. Something brighter. A world she could somehow see, behind all this pain, all this evil. A light that still shone in her eyes.

And even if it stings It's just a temporary thing

“How did I go so wrong?” Obi-Wan leant into your side, staring up at the ceiling. “I failed everyone. Qui-Gon. Satine. Anakin.” “You never failed me,” you countered, fingers sifting through his hair. “And it was the Order that failed Anakin. The Council.” You reached over and turned his chin so that he was looking at you. “You did the best you could for him. It was not your responsibility to protect him from the people responsible for helping you both.”

And no one said that changing Won't cost you love won't make you cry,

“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” Obi-Wan didn’t move, lightsaber holding Anakin’s steadily. You could hear Anakin scoff beneath the mask, and he struck forward. “No!” Luke. Obi-Wan fell. Immediately, the troopers turned, firing. You wondered if Anakin realised how your stomach churned at the sight of the familiar uniforms, almost expecting Cody’s smile, Rex’s sharp bark of laughter. You snatched up Obi-Wan’s lightsaber, clipping it to your belt, and ducking under Anakin’s blade as he struck at you.

But it will all make sense When the growing pains subside

“Run!” You could hear Obi-Wan shouting to Luke as your blade met Anakin’s. “It didn’t have to be this way,” you told Anakin, countering his next strike. “(Y/N)!” Leia shouted after you. You could hear the Falcon’s engines whirring in the background. “Go!” you yelled back, vividly aware of the rapid blaster fire around you. “We would’ve fought for you. We would have died for you.” “Shut up,” Anakin breathed, and you could almost hear the crack in his voice beneath the mask. You smiled, bitterly. “We loved you.” He thrust his ‘saber into your chest and the breath choked out of you in a shuddering gasp.

fucking young | ben solo

requested? no

warnings? age gap, pining after someone, and soft ben solo

in which ben solo and princess y/n have a heart to heart

hello everyone :) pls enjoy this fic i wrote like a year ago.

you peer over your guard to get a look at the mysterious jedi in front of you.

he’s visiting with his master to discuss the revolts going on with a fellow alliance.

you’ve met before, but he always seemed to avoid you.

“luke, i understand completely, but we cannot just ask emperor wiqu to cut back on his military reforms. if he wants to ruin his empire, so be it.” your father says, sighing.

“i understand, your majesty. though, maybe we could ask of him to give back to the capitol. they’re in great need of better shelter. it would boost their morale and help with their despise of the officials grand housing.” luke smiles, knowing he found a great point.

before your father answers you speak, “i think that’s wonderful, and we would could help pay. our people love charity.”

the guards in front of you clear a path so you can walk to the group.

your father glares at you. he doesn’t want to partake in such matters. he doesn’t particularly like emperor wiqu or his overbearing ideals. though he couldn’t say no to you, you’re next in line to the throne. he has to let you take control sometimes, he won’t be around forever.

“princess y/n of jynoo, it’s a pleasure,” luke smiles.

“this is ben solo, my nephew and upcoming jedi knight.”

“hello ben solo, it’s nice to meet you.” you smile, holding out your gloved hand.

you fought the urge to say you’d met countless other times. instead you focus on how nice looking he is. although being older than you.

“princess.” he says simply, kissing your hand. you feel your heart flutter.

“y/n, luke and i need to negotiate some other terms. you’re dismissed, as well as the young solo.” your father says bluntly. you nod and follow your guards out of the room, the knight following behind.

“guards, please leave us. i’d like to show this young man around.”they comply, knowing better than to argue with you.

“young man? princess i’m almost six years older than you.” ben says.

you roll your eyes, “please. you act like i’m a child. i’m almost nineteen. i am about to rule a whole planet.” you say, turning into the room of pools.

“you’re still a child, princess.” he comments.

“well, ben solo. i’d like for you to know i’m approached by suitors extremely older than you. age is hardly a problem, i’m intelligent in ways many princesses older than me are not.”he laughs and holds his hand out, helping me over a large gap of water.

“i have no doubt you aren’t perfect in every way princess, but you’re just too young.”

“well i’m not trying to get you to marry me, so it doesn’t matter what you think. i mean what good would marrying a jedi do anyway. aren’t you all celibate.” you quip.

he coughs, “princess, i don’t know what business you have in that.”

“oh let me guess, because i’m too young?” you say, sitting on a fountain.

he sits beside of you, “no. because i can tell you haven’t even the best room to talk.” your ears grow hot and you turn your face away from him. he continues to tease you.

“oh shut up, knight.” you say, splashing him with the fountain water.

“if you wish. i just won’t answer your question.” you immediately turn to him, eyes wide with curiosity.

he looks at you and chuckles. “fine. no jedi are not celibate. it’s just frowned upon to have possessive relationships. it’s harder to focus the more attached you get.” he says.

“oh, so how many women have you been with?”

“princess..” he groans.

“what! it’s not embarrassing unless you make it so.” you say, waiting for his answer.

he sighs and looks at you. “how many men have been in bed with you, princess.”

“not one, ben solo. although they tried. i just don’t find them any bit intriguing. none could even hold a conversation.”

“so it just takes one conversation to get into your bed, princess?” ben asks, smiling.

you laugh, “maybe. i wouldn’t know.”

“well to answer your very personal question, one. and only one. i was about your age, maybe a little younger.” he says.

“oh, so you weren’t too young? hmm, ben solo, do you still like this girl from years ago?” you ask.

he shakes his head quickly, “she’s married now. it really was just a one time thing. i met her daughter earlier this year, a loudmouth just like her.” you smile. getting up and leading him to the ballroom.

it was empty of course. your mother hated to host balls on cloudy days.

“do you dance?” he asks.

“yes. many dances. i could dance with kings, my people, scavengers, or wookiee’s if i wanted. do you?”

“i’m less versed than you, princess. though, yes.”

“are you asking me to dance then, solo?” you smirk, excited.

he shrugs, but goes over to the music pad to pick a song.he picks a slowish song. you recognize it as a fairly new, one your fellow young people might listen to at parties.

he takes your hand and swings you around the room. he was definitely good at this. your body was close to him, closer than you usually allow your dance partners. the song ends and be separates from you.

“come on princess, let’s get you to your room. it’s getting dark.”

you smile up at him, “how long are you staying in jynoo?”

“for two more days. you can finish your tour tomorrow.”

you grin to yourself. he wants to spend more time with you.

“these stairs lead up to my room. goodnight, ben.” you say, kissing his cheek.

you fell asleep happy. for once ben solo wasn’t acting as if he had the emotional range of a grain of salt. you never understood why ben acted that way. his mother seemed to love you, but you always overheard him talking to his friends about how childish you are.

it was lunch when you saw ben again, and you decided to take him to gardens.

he seemed taken by the large tree with an assortment of bright fruits.

“do you like it? it’s my favorite. give me a lift and i can get us a snack.” you say. he complies, and lifts you so you can grab a few fruits.

“here you go, solo.” you say, handing him a purple fruit.

“thanks, kid. how’d you sleep?”

“better than usual. how about you? do you like your room?”

“yes. it’s nice. i had a wonderful view of your balcony. who knew princess had such naughty undergarments.”

you gasp and punch his arm, “you creep!”

although your face betrayed you when you couldn’t help but smile.

“sorry, princess.” he says, putting his hands up.

“not so much of a kid now, huh?” you smirk, getting closer to him.

he rolls his eyes, “you’re still too young.”

“what’s so wrong with me being young?” you ask him.

“too much, princess.” he says, moving his hand to your cheek.

“explain, ben solo. you’ve avoided me before this. i used to wear my prettiest dresses for you when we would visit your mother. you act like i’m some diseased animal. what’s so wrong with me?” you frown.

“nothings wrong with you. you’re perfect, but simply too young. when you’re thirty-five i’ll be forty-one and when i’m twenty-seven you’ll be twenty-one,” he sighs. “that’s ridiculous, you should find someone your age. i’m not the one for you, princess.” he says, looking at you.

you roll your eyes.

“no listen, i really like you. but i couldn’t focus if i was yours, i can barely focus now. do you know how hard it was to train this morning when all i could think about was kissing you?” he asks.

“ben solo you’re an idiot. i don’t believe that love makes you weaker or that it would ruin your training. if anything it makes you stronger. how do you think your parents and uncle defeated darth vader? by hating each other all the time? no.”

“ah, and is that why my parents can barely stand to be around each other?” he asks with his eyes hard.

“if i’m not mistaken they could barely stand each other in the beginning either. don’t be so quick to try to understand how other people love.” you say, grabbing a hold of his hand.

“what are you trying to say princess?” he asks.

“isn’t it obvious, solo? i’m trying to say you’ve got it all wrong, you find one thing wrong in a relationship or a potential one and rule love as being a waste. ben, when you’re twenty-seven and i’m twenty-one i’ll still love you like i love you today. i won’t marry if it’s not you. i won’t love unless it’s you.”

“you’re going to get hurt. love would be too hard for us. you’d have to wait here all the time. just yearning for me to get back to you. i could die in missions and then you’ll grieve me for the rest of your life. or you could find someone better than me, closer to your age, who understands you more and break me.” he says, pulling you even closer.

“but i wouldn’t. and i don’t care. ben solo, i wish for nothing more but than to have you for as long as fate allows.” you smile.

he doesn’t say anything else. he just kisses you. something you’ve wanted him to do for longer than you even knew. all those times you dressed up just for him to ignore you, the times when you would learn about things he liked just for him to not listen, and the times you would cry and curse him when you got home were worth it.

ben solo was completely enamored with you the very first time he met you, but it was wrong. you were a princess and younger than him. he ignored your advances. he was scared to go after you, he’d be seen as nothing compared to you. so he tried to forget about you and focused on training. you spent the rest of the day in each others arms. soon to spend the rest of your lives in each others hearts.

9x08: Rock and a Hard Place

Then:

Jody Mills, putting up with Winchester crap since 2008. 

Now:

A young woman locks up a diner at the end of her shift. She drops off some food to a man sleeping on the street. While walking, she grows suspicious and pulls out her taser (is that what it was?). It falls and she has to crawl under a car to get it. While there, a creature that bursts into blue flame lifts the car, grabs her, and drops her down through a manhole. 

The brothers are recapping the season’s mytharc in the kitchen when Dean gets a call from Jody. She’s got four missing people and a super strong kidnapper. Dean and Sam hit the road.

It seems that all the missing people were part of the Good Faith church. The brothers interview Slim, the witness to the latest kidnapping. He watched Honor get nabbed. 

His story rules out angels, so Jody heads to interview the victims’ families and Sam and Dean head to infiltrate the church. 

At the church, they talk to Bonnie and learn that everyone that is missing was part of a chastity group.

The brothers agree to sign a chastity pledge and reset their virgin status (Dean’s been rehymenated again!)

Meanwhile, in the underbelly of the town, Honor wanders the dark passageways of her new home. 

Dean and Sam attend their first chastity group. Suzy, the leader, asks the brothers to share their experiences and why they joined the group. Sam “Every woman I've ever had relations with, uh. It .hasn't ended well” Winchester starts the confession time with the understatement of the century. Then Dean spills a little too much and that gets the entire group a little hot and bothered. 

After the meeting, Sam talks to Tammy about Honor --and how she’s not that honorable. Dean tries figuring out where he’s seen Suzy before. She swears she’s never seen him before. She also offers to help him with his new found abstinence. He offers to walk back to her place for the support materials she wants to give him.

*SODY ALERT*

Sam heads back to the motel where Jody’s actually getting work done. Sam tells her about Honor and Pastor Fred and Jody tells him about another missing couple overheard in bed together.

Whatever this monster is, it’s not taking virgins, but people breaking their vow. So dragons are out too. 

Sam tries calling Dean to tell him about the new discovery, but Dean is in letch mode. Suzy is a mood killer though and starts crying about her friends, and asks Dean to pray with her.

Sam’s having more luck with “research” with Jody.

(I may have one too many Sam ships to juggle.)

While Suzy composes herself in another room, Dean stumbles across some old Casa Erotica DVDs featuring....Suzy! So THAT’S where he’s seen her before. Dean turns into an awkward idiot as Suzy returns to the room. WHAT HE’S FINE NOTHING TO SEE HERE. 

Dean can’t hold his glee in for long though, and he addresses her as “Carmelita.” She tries to apologize for her past but Dean fanboys out at her, helplessly. Amidst all the nightmares in the world, she is the stuff of “good dreams.” Her gaze goes from worried to intrigued to hungry quickly, and in no time at all Dean’s in the middle of an impossible dream fantasy: hot sex with a porn star. 

Down in the depths of the city, Honor discovers the other missing church members - and some of them are still alive! Suddenly blue fire blows into the underground tunnels and when it clears, one of them has disappeared. The pastor’s screams get cut off from outside the dungeon. DUN dun duuuun

A little later, Dean bids Suzy a lingering farewell. (Suzy, may you continue to have all the sex!) Blue fire shoots into the room as soon as Dean tries to leave, knocking them down and out. 

In the tunnels, one of the church members is slowly going mad, desperate for something to drink. She goes for her own blood instead. OH boy. Fortunately, something tries to bash its way into the dungeon and the trapped church members stop eating themselves to investigate. It’s Suzy and Dean, freshly deposited! 

Sam and Jody investigate Suzy’s apartment, and it doesn’t take long for Sam to deduce what happened. A neighbor saw a blue flash, so they research fire - plus virgins. Jody brings up Vesta, goddess of the hearth. Vesta’s attendants were required to stay celibate; breaking their vows meant a live burial. 

Down in Live Burial Central, Dean tells the occupants that they’re NOT being punished by God. “Trust me, this is not God’s work.” (I sit back and think about what’s to come and high five the show.) Whoever abducted them took Dean’s phone, but he keeps a spare hidden in a concealed pocket of his jacket. He rips it out and places a call. 

Jody and Sam continue to research Vesta when Dean calls. 

The call is super choppy, but Sam thinks he heard a train whistle. Time to find maps of the city infrastructure!

In the dungeon, two of the church members argue. The guy proposes offering up Honor since she has a hurt ankle. Dean scolds his cowardly ways. FANS SELF

In the zero hour, Sam and Jody discover both a place to look for Dean AND a way to kill Vesta. They need a virgin’s blood. “A real virgin,” Jody tells Sam exasperatedly. They head off to find Tammy, hissing queen of virgin county.

Tammy thinks their request for her blood sounds like something “pagan.” And honestly, if someone I’d just met asked for my blood I would NOT BE ACCOMMODATING. Nor should you, friendos. Jody punches Tammy in the nose and acquires her blood the canny way, by staunching some from her face for their weapon. Do NOT mess with Jody.

Sam and Jody investigate an old barn. Sam finds the entrance to the tunnels but Vesta gets to him and tosses him across the barn, knocking him out. As one does. Vesta corners Jody, who proceeds to delight me. “Really, this is how a goddess acts?” Jody asks, utterly unimpressed. Vesta decides that beating up Jody is the more interesting activity, revealing in her villain speech that she’s taken up pursuing sacrifices on her own. She ties Jody to an altar, preparing to eat her liver. 

Sam tackles Vesta from behind while Jody tries to attack with the blood-tipped stake. It backfires (for Jody, at least). Jody gets stabbed in the chest. Y I K E S

At this point, our three hunters each fight their own battles. Jody pulls the stake out of her chest. Dean painstakingly unscrews the hatch with a pair of scissors. And Sam gets liver-probed by Vesta, who then declares that his liver is TRASHED. (Okay, I totally forgot this was season 9 until commentary on the state of Sam’s health.) “How are you alive?” Vesta demands. While Sam’s staring gormlessly at Vesta, Jody comes up behind her and stabs the heck out of her, killing the goddess. Dean breaks out of the dungeon a moment later. Timing!

Cut to later. Jody hoists her bag on her shoulder to head back home. “I’d tell you boys to stay out of trouble but what’s the point?” WORD. After she heads out, Sam brings up the troubling news from Vesta.

Sam’s worried about his health. Dean tries to come clean, but “Ezekiel” aka Gadreel tells him the Sam’s still too unwell and would likely die if he expelled the angel. When Sam zaps back into his head, Dean deflects and sad music plays us out.

These Quotes are a Construct:

This wackadoo stuff keeps coming. More I know, better armed I'll be

Well, I'll be a squirrel in a skirt

Congratulations, Sam and Dean Winchester. You are both virgins.

Dragons? Those are a thing?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

OTP/Pairing questions: SethKate 1, 9 and 10? 💖

I put 1 under a cut, because it became really very long.

9. Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcanon)

Probably how, despite everything working against it, there’s an equality to them once they get out of the abductor/abductee mentality (which happens fairly quickly all things considered.). There’s hints of it through out the show, but my favorite moment of it is when Sonja enters the picture. Seth does the same power play with both of them, glaring them down while advancing towards them in a display of dominance, and yet Sonja backs down, dropping her gaze and giving up ground to him while in her own work space, a place she should feel in complete control in, and a large, uncovered window right there that keeps her from being isolated with him. But when he pulls that same shit with Kate, while utterly alone in a motel room that belongs just as much to him as it does her and no one around to play witness, she stares right back and refuses to give into his dominance play. (There’s absolutely more evidence to Seth and Kate being on equal footing, but this one *chef’s kiss*)

There’s something I find so utterly delightful in someone like Kate, young and a little naive at first and all softness wrapped around steel, able to stand on equal footing to the bank robbing murderer who’s at his utter worst for a bulk of the time she knows him. Especially when the tough and fiery tattoo artist/forger who’s used to being in the criminal world and dealing with people like Seth couldn’t do it.

10. Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcanon)

As much as I like what all it means/represents for them and how it contrasts with the Seth and Sonja dynamic, the fact that Seth pulled a power play on Kate in the first place, that he tried to cow her into submission, is something I don’t care for (wouldn’t change it, too necessary for their individual story arcs and I like what it reveals about their relationship), and how much Kate aimed for Seth’s most vulnerable points when fighting with him in season two. (Which if I’m honest, I would be tempted to change, even though logically I know it’s a character flaw for her that helps round her out as a character. Which probably says more about me than her that I’d be tempted to change it if I’d had the power.)

I know they’re each dealing with a ton of shit in season two. Seth’s got control issues to begin with, and that’s not even getting into all those protective instincts, both the new one’s with Kate’s name on them and the one’s belonging to Richie that find her a convenient target, and how much Seth feels that if he can just bully Kate into obeying him he can keep her safe and with him. And Kate’s angry and hurt and lashing out at someone who she feels holds some of the blame for those feelings. She keeps threatening to leave, and Seth’s abandonment issues are extra sensitive after what went down with Richie and Kate knows this. They’re both in a fucked up place, although Kate is trying to put herself back together while Seth’s still wallowing in his hurt and anger.

It’s something that I don’t think is a big problem after season two. Kate was already on the path to healing before she left (even if she’s not there yet by the end of the season) and while it falls more in the realm of headcanon, I think she acknowledges her destructive lashing out to herself and makes a point to try and not let herself slip back into the habit. And while Seth still has his issues, he’s not being ruled by them quite so hard after season two. He probably still does some controlling things, ordering her meal for her if they’re at a sit down restaurant and phrasing things more as commands than requests, and I still have a headcanon that he assigned her bodyguards without her knowledge after the events of season three, but those things are manageable. Again, I wouldn’t change anything that happened or their respective issues, but if I had to point out my least favorite part of their dynamic it would how they were in season two when he was too controlling and Kate took careful aim to hurt Seth as much as she could with her words.

1. If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? This has gone into full on What If territory and thus is long and under a cut. :P

If I had to change how they met and somehow keep it in the same canon-universe, I’d probably have Carlos drag the Fullers to the Twister, because he’s the one who wanted the family there so badly. Seth and Kate wouldn’t really meet until all hell broke loose and the initial massacre had passed, leaving the Geckos, Scott and Kate, and Professor Tanner still alive, and Seth wouldn’t really get to know/care about her until after they were on the road together (meaning no scenes where they’ve linked arms or him shoving her behind him while they navigate the underground tunnels, because Kate doesn’t mean anything to him at this point, is just another body to place between him and the vampires).

Instead of asking if he wants company, Kate would ask for a ride to the nearest town, because she doesn’t know enough about who he is and what he’s capable of to truly trust him not to mean her harm, especially after Tanner. Everything, both good and bad, that happened between them in season one wouldn’t be there to bind them together or give the other insight into who the other is. They’d stick around after actually finding the nearest town because Kate doesn’t actually have a plan and Seth’s terrified of being alone and they’ve talked just enough and are just tired enough to find it easier to not leave the other just yet, but it would be with this idea that’s its temporary. Their relationship would be different, far less trust or care between them, but still enough of a foundation and understanding that they decide to stick together for a bit. First week would pretty much be the same because trauma needs sorting through.

Seth would be a lot more obvious about his physical interest in her as time goes on, because he doesn’t have the guilt of being the one to put her in that place or her daddy’s death hanging over his head (Carlos would have disposed of Jacob before they ever even got to the Twister in this, and Seth only finds out after the fact that he even existed at all or what he meant to Kate and the fresh grief she’s carrying with her), and because he doesn’t care for her nearly to the same depth here and is therefore less careful with/protective of their relationship/her (if he makes it too awkward and she leaves, oh well. He'll wish her luck and then find someone else to travel with.) It doesn’t mean as much as it would’ve had he made the offer in canon, more just him making it obvious that he’s interested if she is as opposed to the declaration it would have been in show. Kate is a still a sheltered, sexually-repressed teenager who’s never gone past kissing though, and while she’s been through a shit ton of trauma that has her questioning where she stands on her convictions, she’s not really ready to jump into bed with anyone, let along an almost-stranger, even after she realizes he’s interested in something more akin to dating than a one-night stand. They may or may not start something, I’d have to write it out to see (and I’ve got too many fics in the works as is :P), but if they did it’d be caught somewhere between Seth’s jumping in feet first and Kate’s more celibate dating habits. All shared meals at actual restaurants and heavy make-out sessions in various stages of undress and Kate still asking for separate beds (they sadly never do grow to that level of familiarity and emotional intimacy while on the road together that they do in show). She’s not comfortable telling Seth about her inexperience here and he makes his own assumptions based on hormonal teenagers who stiffen everytime he messes with the button on her jeans. (They both keep jumping to the wrong conclusions, but neither are at a place where they will ask the other such questions.)

It’s a much slower emotional build, taking those weeks on the road to get to what they had by the end of season one in the show, but Kate still leaves, because Scott is still the most important person to her and Seth still has issues with brothers. It happens sooner and without a big fight, because they don’t mean as much to each other here to try and convince the other to stay/come with, but it’d feel more like an end to both of them than it ever did in canon. They’d eventually come back together after they fix things with their brothers (and maybe dealing with Amaru, I’m not sure how much of that would change in this without diving deeper into it). Scott’s still a culebra but holds none of the loyalty he did to Carlos in canon, and would be more likely side with the stranger wearing glasses who wants to rule Malvado’s territory than the man who murdered his dad and gave his sister to a serial killer, and Kate’s going where her brother does. Her and Seth give off a This is my Ex vibe when they meet again, but it’s not as awkward or as angry and hurt as people think it should be and Richie is a nosy little shit who genuinely likes Kate (a first for him with Seth’s romantic entanglements) and Scott has no problem sharing stories of his sister’s past exes with the new guy and basically they learn about each other’s pasts through the other’s brother in a way that means they understand a bit more of what they are getting into when they get back together.

Fin!

If I got full room to play and didn’t need to keep the storyline in tact in the slightest and can do an All Human AU (which I not-so-secretly want to explore) where they meet under entirely ordinary circumstances....

Kate’s in college and living away from home, and has come to the realization she doesn’t want to live the life she was always told she wanted.

(Kyle put a promise ring on her finger during senior year and keeps making comments about getting a job so he can support them and looking at houses in the same small town she grew up in and no one gets why she went to college in the first place when she’s already got a man to take care of her and why don’t you come home, Katie, when are you getting married already, what are you waiting for-

Kate can’t breathe when she thinks about it because she’s only eighteen and there’s so much she wants to do even though everyone she went to high school with is already settling down and talking babies and she’s not ready not ready not ready--- She calls and breaks up with him while sporting her first ever hangover. She only went to the party because the semester was almost over and she needed a break, but she got drunk on purpose. Some part of her wanting to experience this one thing that she was always told she shouldn’t do, and somehow started talking to a complete stranger and out it spilled just how utterly terrified she was of being trapped into a life she’s come to realize she's never wanted. She doesn’t go into details, but she wakes up with an inner peace and utter clarity of what she has to do under the headache and rolling stomach and the taste of something having died in her mouth, and she can’t help but know is was the best decision she ever made.)

After that she settles into this life she’s built, gets her own place off campus and learns who she is in a way most people don’t do until they’re in their thirties, and maybe she doesn’t know where she’ll end up but she knows its not Bethel and the life she’d almost fallen into.

They meet at some hole-in-the-wall restaurant that Kate goes to with friends now and again and has good enough burgers to attract someone like Richie who’s a secret foodie at heart. Seth’s at the counter waiting for his to go order and she’s been sent up to see if her group can get more napkins or something else equally mundane.

Seth’s not really the kind of guy she normally goes for, sprinkles of gray in his hair hinting at him probably being too old for her and a rough manner of speech that would have shocked her not even a year before when she was still getting used to life outside a small town. She notices him though, and that’s worth noting she thinks. When he looks over, quick and casual, before looking again less so.

Kate’s close enough to his type, even with the modest layers of clothes and apple pie sweetness, that he starts flirting before he’s really considered it. She doesn’t quite flirt back, but she doesn’t not flirt either, something smothered and peeking out at him when he manages to catch her attention more fully. She snarks at him when he gets cheeky and isn’t quite able to stop the smile from creasing her cheeks that makes him want to coax another from her. Both of them linger at the counter when their purpose for being there has long faded, not quite ready to end their little back and forth until its stretched past of the point of Too Long and Kate makes her excuses to go back to her friends. He ends up turning around in the parking lot to go back inside and ask for her number, half cursing himself for it because he doubts he’ll be in town long but part of him felt far too disappointed when she walked away to not go for it. If she’s entirely honest, Kate’s not sure if she would have given it if her friends weren’t watching the whole exchange, because she’s always been able to logic her way into making the smart, safe choice over the one she wants (one of the reasons it took quite so long to break up with Kyle) and Seth seems to have Bad Idea stamped across his forehead - see rough manner and possible too old age and hints at a crude sense of humor - and the way he leans forward with that smarmy, utterly confident grin that says he knows just how much she likes that suggestive flash of teeth and play of muscles beneath his button up... She consoles herself with the (very disappointing) thought that he probably won’t contact her anyways.

He calls her that night.

(I’m gonna stop there, because I have ideas on how Kate and Seth’s relationship would progress in something like this, and this question is entirely based on how they met, not how their relationship progresses. Plus, this is way too long already.)