great time to be an ex panic fan

the immediate aftermath of this post. they sure did kiss

My parents decided to just roam for the month of December. Who knows why. They said they didn’t want to do holiday stuff until the new year. Found out later they’d had thanksgiving with my nana. Honestly it woulda been fine if they’d just said they didn’t want the kids over? But instead mom decided lying that they weren’t doing it at all was easier.

My transphobic sister is having a baby so they decided to drive down to her state to see her, after telling me they’d come to my choir concert. And again. That’s fine, I get that the baby is a bigger deal.

But mom asked me to look after her chickens while they’re gone. I dragged myself over aching in every bone from overexertion yesterday, including the concert. When I called concerned about one of her hens dragging a lame foot around she told me that’s just how that chickens always been and not to worry about it. Didn’t ask me how the concert had been.

When my betrothed got home I was deep in sadness pits. I told them, “I feel like that chicken. Hobbling around receiving inferior care and attention from my mom.”

They baked cookies and we cuddled about it.

okay okay okay I’m sure this is old news for everyone else but I’ve never seen anyone talk about it so now I am losing my MIND

I’m rewatching season 1 and if you view it through the “jackson is canonically gay” lens then he was so fucking obsessed with scott?!?!! like ofc there’s loads of other stuff going on, he’s a messed up guy with a lot of self esteem issues but also OH MY GOD HE WAS SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH SCOTT

and the classic “trying to get the girlfriend to like him” thing I’m it’s I I just AHAHHDHSHDHJDJEJE

this still counts as escapist media even though it made me sad 

2023 reads // twitter thread    

The Art of Prophecy

Wuxia inspired epic fantasy

about a spoiled prophesied chosen one who’s never been in a real battle

the greatest war artist of her generation takes things into her own hands and decides to train him, but things go wrong and they both have to go on the run

martial arts, bounty hunters & assassins, some steampunk vibes, mentor relationships

no romance!

this is so fun and funny I loved it.  the MCs three awesome baddass women and one pathetic teen boy and i love them all

First time in a harness 😜💕

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

I either lost page one, or didn't draw it out, but have this silly ass comic thing. I actually drew this. . . shit, like, last year in I think August? I just forgot to post it. Anywho, a light tease at the comics/certain weird ideals/tropes these things sometimes have. Context is William always listening to his BFF whinge about Amber or Sam

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

I don’t know what world we’re living in but I love it

when i started retgmt i originally planned for it to be just a handful of chapters and like, 50k words MAX. and now it's 3 years later and it will (probably) be more than 250k words when it's done. i am a fool

This might be an odd complaint but I really don’t like how people act like Byler endgame would just excuse every other shitty thing that’s been done to everyone but conveniently attractive presumably straight white men in this show writing-wise. I’d be more than happy to have Byler be endgame and I expect it, but the amount of racism that’s been brushed off is ridiculous in and outside of the show. The weird St*ncy moments this season, the fact that she doesn’t get a storyline related to her trauma. Even season three was incredibly white of them. Joyce not getting hardly any scenes with Jonathan and Will these recent seasons. All of it and more—it won’t suddenly go away and make everyone on that writing team geniuses. And this isn’t to sound ungrateful or anything, but it really is disappointing sometimes. They exceed tremendously at some points such as the Upside Down lore but as for other aspects…

not an odd complaint at all! the only thing byler endgame makes okay is the fact that they didn't use will's feelings to fix a straight couple. there's so many other things they got wrong, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that the people writing the show are white men. and white women. white people

NOTHING they do could ever make what they did to lucas right. having their one black character go against the little white girl in season 1 which resulted in people being racist to caleb irl, having billy literally get physical with lucas and say he's gonna kill him and then saying in an interview that they "think" that billy was racist like they didn't write it themselves, the fact that it's literally never brought up again...lol. i know stranger things isn't a "this thing that happened was wrong. let's talk about it and try to make it better :)" type of show but still. it's crazy. also this regarding erica in season four

and you don't even have to dig that deep to find things that byler endgame won't fix: like you said, stncy being pushed on us and on nancy again in season 4? 98% sure it won't be endgame but like. why did you have to put us through that. WHY. and yeah lol, remember when they brought nancy back to that pool at the end of volume 1 like they remembered she was traumatized by the death of her best friend and then...nothing happened? idk, it's just so weird

also, the byers being sidelined? for will i guess you can rationalize it and come up with great and convincing meta reasons as to why his character was sidelined in seasons 3 and 4 (which, yeah, fascinating, i will still hate it ten years from now, no matter how important to season 5 will is), but what about jonathan? what about joyce? how does one justify the fact that winona went from being the reason 75% of people older than 15 started watching the show to having less screentime than fucking jason in season 4? it is annoying when people act like byler endgame will make everything right and will make stranger things a perfect show because it really won't

I’m not so single-minded about shipping Jancy that I don’t enjoy writing about them with other people, but I do feel compelled to make it make sense why they aren’t together. I don’t know who remembers How I Met Your Mother, but it’s similar to how Marshall has to include an elaborate backstory about Lily dying some time ago in any sexual fantasy about another woman.

hi ok unpopular thought but you can tell when a cis/het person is playing a queer character because they always prioritize the queerness of their character over anything else

I’m not sure how to deal with my own anti-Blackness, the people who have been most interpersonally ableist and transphobic to me have been Black cishet people, and they’ve used their Blackness to diminish the importance of ableism and transphobia as not “real problems”. I think I’ve internalized some of that

I'll be honest, I think I have truly grown from intentionally seeking out Black activists and listening to their perspectives when they talk about it - and not to make any comments or try to correct, you know? Just to listen, to see exactly where they are coming from. I've found that there are so many Black people who will talk about Blackness and how it intersects with things like disability, queerness and transness, and all of that - hell, one of my favourite Black content creators is Kat Blaque who has made a lot of content about being a Black trans woman.

I've also come to realize... like, even if I meet a transphobic Black person, it doesn't negate the need for them to not be persecuted or targeted in any way for their Blackness. I don't think bigotry is right coming from anybody, sure, but I also don't think we should be subjugating Black people for bigotries (or assumed bigotries) through Anti-Blackness.

Black people never have been and never will be a monolith, and the idea they are looks like "all Black people mistreat [group]," so I encourage people to always watch out for statements worded like that or statements that defend Anti-Blackness because "well, that's just how it is".

I ultimately don't think I am the sole person to go to for this sort of thing, but also, I don't want the attitude of "Black people are all the same and they'll always be the same" to gain traction, because it doesn't solve the perceived issue.