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cosettepontmercys · 7 months

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Hi!!!! I'm so sorry I didn't reply again until now. I wanted to reply the other day but basically my ask got deleted halfway thru replying and I didn't have time again until now. I'm so glad you had a great time at the movie. It seems like you had a lot of fun and i'm glad you were able to see it again. I expected there not to be a lot of people at the last show since it was so late and it was an added show on Thursday. It did make me wanna see it again just to experience it with other people but I don't know if I will. I hope it comes to streaming so I can watch it over and over. I loved noticing new things seeing it up close. What did your friend think of the whole show? Sometimes I forget how incredible it is how Taylor created and came up with it mostly by herself..a true mastermind! I'm grateful that I was able to go to the show at least once compared to the people that didn't. It did make me nostalgic for my show but I also loved the surprise songs cuz it was like how the fans that have been there from the beginning since Our Song to now with You're On Your own Kid just made it special. Aww she really put it on and said it was her favorite!!! I knew about the cut songs beforehand but my sister didn't and it took her some time to realize any were cut. I understand some of them cuz it didn't have choreography and I guess the movie maybe felt a little long but also everything went by fast too. But that was the one that hurt the most cuz its one of my favorites. It's also the only single from the album so I couldn't believe she cut it. I love them all but my favorites are probably Speak Now and Folklore too, along with rep.

I never listened to Renee's EP cuz I was waiting until her album but I do plan to hear them together probably next week. The few songs I've heard so far I've liked though. I have to give Holly's album a few more listens as well before I know my favorites but which ones did you like the best? I also enjoyed Boygenius as well. Ya I am curious about the movie version but I'm not excited about it or anything. I don't think it would change much from the stage version, but I'm happy it's at least people kinda from Broadway. I never saw anything from Sabrina if she ever was on Broadway, cuz I can't remember..but I agree..she could've been a great Cady. I remember the stunt cast for Cameron Dallas and apparently he was so bad lol. I'm sorry you didn't get to see it on Broadway but I might see it on tour in a few months to compare it to the movie. I also heard a Waitress proshot is coming soon so I'm probably more interested in seeing that, cuz I couldn't on tour.

So one of the reasons I didn't reply to you was cuz we went to see Les Mis last night!!! We were trying to go on Wednesday but it didn't work out so I didn't wanna tell you I was seeing it if I wasn't sure I could go. But it was so amazing and probably top 5 shows I've seen. I would want to go again to have better seats and cuz there was a lot going on, on stage, that I missed. It was really funny though cuz I hadn't thought of the musical in a while but of course I still knew all of the words haha. It felt really fast paced and I wish I could've paid more attention or soaked it in more..that was kinda my first time seeing a sung through show, so it was a good thing I knew it so well lol. My favorite parts were I Dreamed a Dream, The Confrontation, Stars, and One Day More, but I really loved the flow of Act One. The barricade scenes were good too, but the set was pretty dark which made it kinda hard to see. Of course I thought of you every time they said Cosette! And I noticed it was a lot haha. Anyway I also remembered I saw Moulin Rouge on tour almost the exact same day last year which is a crazy coincidence! I only know that cuz it was around when Midnights came out..which is today and I wanna know how you feel about it when it first came out compared to now. I think it's grown on me a lot and I do love it way more now. I can't believe 1989 is only a week away! I'm so excited to hear new Taylor songs to react to..it's so fun and will be fun to see if we have the same favorites.

Wow cool..that's awesome that you met up at your show! You're so sweet to say that and I realized we have been talking back and forth for a while now. I definitely think of you as my friend! Sometimes I worry that I have nothing interesting to say but then I also worry I talk so much lol. But that's why I say you shouldn't worry about replying..but I didn't want you to feel like I forgot about you either. I really do enjoy our conversations and how we just talk about our interests since I don't really have anyone else to talk about this stuff with. It feel weird that you don't know what I look like or that I'm just online, and sometimes I feel weird about it. Books are something I'm glad we can bond over, since my sister doesn't have as much time for reading, and I'm excited to start the book soon. If we are reading the Night Circus too, it's okay cuz I can read two books at the same time but just let me know. I read the summary of those on Goodreads and it reminded me of Only Murders in the Building, even if I haven't even watched the show yet but it's on my list. If you've seen it, let me know how it is. I am not a big thriller or mystery reader but it did seem interesting so I'm glad you enjoyed them! I'm sorry if I forgot anything, but I might not be able to reply until Monday if you reply to this though..just to let you know. I hope you have a nice weekend!

hi friend!! hope you're having a good weekend 🤍 i saw something on twitter about it maybe going to prime, but i take most things i see on twitter with a grain of salt 😭 my friend really liked it — and is super excited to see her next year 🥺 i understand why a lot of them were cut (choreo, etc) but i was really bummed because i love long live and the archer and cardigan and - well, all of them. i was talking to some friends on thursday about how if we could change anything in the eras setlist in a way that wouldn't alter production too much (i.e. costume changes, choreography, speeches, giving her time to rest a bit, etc) what would we change and so i want to ask you the same question! what would you change if you could? i think i said i'd switch out i knew you were trouble with holy ground or red! i would personally also maybe switch all too well 10 for the 5 minute version, and then add our song or i'm only me when i'm with you (or both) instead, just so i could get my little debut songs in. but i do think it's pretty perfect and even the songs that i don't gravitate towards listening to regularly are SO much fun live. the rep set is SO good; we've talked about how it's not my favorite album of hers but honestly one of my favorite eras performances i think.

i think elvis impersonators, cocoon, and ghost me are in my top 3, but i'm not entirely sure yet! i can't wait to hear more of your thoughts on holly's album!! sabrina was only cady for like, two days so not a whole lot exists out there! but i really liked her take on cady. i feel like more often than not i am disappointed with stunt casting (i understand why they do it though) — speaking of stunt casts, i'm curious to see how jordan fisher does as orpheus in hadestown! i'm seeing the tour in a few weeks and i'm super excited to finally see someone who isn't reeve carney haha! and yes — waitress proshot! it was announced yesterday or the day before, i think! my friend texted me about it but i'm not sure if i'll have time to go see it in cinemas. hopefully it gets put on streaming sometime soon too!! i just remembered broadwayhd exists — there's so much on there that i haven't seen (that being said, if you've never seen daddy long legs the musical, i do recommend it because megan mcginnis' voice is beautiful and i just love her — although the actual musical content/plot is a bit questionable — and of course, she loves me and allegiance are also ones i'd recommend)! i didn't know they did a proshot of snapshots — john cardoza was in it and i really like him (i saw him in the notebook + really like what i've heard of him in moulin rouge + like what i heard of him in the snapshots cast recording) so i might give that a watch sometime! and i forgot they filmed the production of first date that sam barks was in! i was also just thinking of submissions only, which was a web series back in like 2012 and is pretty scrubbed from the internet now, unfortunately but i loved it. did you ever watch smash? now i'm feeling incredibly nostalgic!

oh my gosh did you have fun at les mis!!! i really liked the marius on tour (gregory lee rodriguez) — his marius is so earnest and so charming; i saw him in a show here in seattle a few years ago and i remember thinking he was a very likable actor so i was really excited to see him in les mis when i saw the tour in june! the barricade scenes are some of my favorites, but yes — lighting can be tricky! i've been meaning to rewatch the movie at some point as well, but it's so long and such a commitment. i was also ... doing a VERY good job of working at my les mis reread/annotations but then ... did not do that. so we'll see if i pick it back up or if i decide to push it off to next year haha. and no way! that's such a cool coincidence!

i really like midnights; i think it's a solid album — but i do find myself reaching for the 3am tracks over some of the songs on midnights proper a lot! it's interesting because my friends and i did a little ~ prediction ~ of our favorites based on names and i could not have been more wrong. i said lavender haze, anti hero, you’re on your own kid, question…? and sweet nothing were ones that stood out to me, and i do like them, don't get me wrong, but the only one i listen to A LOT is you're on your own kid. i think my top listened to midnights tracks/favorite midnights tracks are (in no particular order): yoyok, mastermind, the great war and dear reader. what about you?

you don't need to worry about not having anything interesting to say! i love chatting with you — you can literally come talk to me about anything you want! and you don't need to apologize for taking your time to reply either! and i'm happy to do whatever works for you reading schedule wise / buddy reading wise! i haven't watched OMITB but i've heard really good things and there's apparently a lot of broadway people cameos in the third season? which is fun!

hope you're having a good weekend 🤍 🤍 !!

#post: answered #🩷 anon

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broadstbroskis · 3 years

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ivy- morgan rielly

a/n: i wrote a thing, don’t hate me. very much inspired by ivy from the absolutely incredible new tswift evermore album (you should listen to the whole thing if you havent already and def this song)

warnings: infidelity (it’s a central theme), angst (lots)

-----

The arm draped over her waist tightens just as Ophelia begins to move away. She bites her lip and closes her eyes and she feels Morgan bury his face in her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t go.” He whispers.

“I have to.” She wouldn’t. She’d stay here all night if she could. She’d stay until morning, she’d stay forever...but she can’t. “You know that.” It’s just as quiet, as if they’re both afraid of breaking the spell over them, but by now, they both know that prolonging the inevitable leads only to more pain, more difficulty leaving.

Morgan presses another kiss to the top of her head before rolling away; she feels the cold of his absence immediately, a loss that’s going to stay with her until she manages to find an escape to be with him again.

Her clothes are scattered everywhere tonight, it seems, which merely means she feels Morgan’s eyes following her around his room as she gathers them. “Stop that.”

There’s the smallest of smiles of his face when she looks up at him, after pulling her sweater back on. “Stop looking at you? Never.” And she’s really supposed to be leaving, but how’s Ophelia not supposed to kiss him after that?

Morgan’s thumb strokes over her cheek after they break apart, a gentle caress that expresses so much of all the things she knows he can’t-or won’t-say. “Text me when you get home, yeah?”

“I will.” Ophelia squeezes his hand gently, understanding the true message behind his words, the I love you, that’s just too much to say outright. And then, because it’s too much for her to actually say goodbye, she squeezes his hand once more, and then slips out of his room.

It’s dark still when she opens the door to her apartment a few floors down and the silence is deafening. By all accounts, it should be warmer and homier than the bachelor pad she just left. She’d put a lot of work and effort into making it a home, a place for a relationship to grow, to start a family.

Right now, it just felt cold and unwelcoming, and Ophelia drops her keys on the table by the door in their usual spot, making a beeline for the master bathroom, not turning any lights on in the apartment until she makes it there. The sound of the shower finally drowns out the silence that’s ringing around her, stops her thoughts from running wild, and only when she steps inside does she let the tears fall.

-----

Ophelia blinks once, and then again, adjusting her eyes to the bright sun shining in through the windows. The other side of the bed is empty, but warm still, like it’s only been recently vacated, and she musters up the energy to climb out of bed and find her slippers before she wanders out into the kitchen.

“‘Morning.” Jon’s scrolling through his phone at the table, likely checking emails, or possibly moved onto his morning social media read thru, his coffee still steaming in front of him. “There’s more in the pot.”

“Thanks.” She returns the small smile he’d sent her and pours a mug for herself, settling in at the table next to him and taking a moment to get used to the usual silence. “When’d you get in last night?”

Jon hums for a second, like he’s thinking about it. “3, I think?”

“Jesus.” She shakes her head; she doesn’t need to look at the clock to know that it’s too early for him to be up and dressed to go back to the office already then. “You need to sleep more.”

Jon stands up with his mug and kisses the top of her head. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

The thing is, she’s not sure he’s kidding. It’s an attitude that he shares with the rest of his firm, a top financial group filled with people just like Jon, always pushing themselves to do the absolute most. It’s not-she’d never begrudge him his success, but really, how well can he be taking care of himself when all he does is go to work, go to the gym, and travel for days at a time?

“That’ll be sooner than you think if you keep going on four hours of sleep.” Ophelia chides gently, standing to send him off.

Jon laughs. “I’ll be home early tonight; how’s that? We’ll go out somewhere for dinner and then come back to bed,” He waggles his eyebrows. “And then go to bed.”

“Hmm, I’ll believe it when I see it.” Ophelia says, and accepts the kiss he presses to her cheek on his way out the door.

(He doesn’t make it to dinner, but Ophelia's not shocked; she hadn’t bothered to change out of her gym clothes and orders takeout for herself instead.)

-----

Probably a long shot, but are you free at 3 to go see a house? Ophelia sends Jon the second their realtor confirms the showing, unsurprised when he sends back a thumbs down emoji. She sighs, and confirms with the realtor that she’ll be attending alone-again-and then scrolls around the neighborhood, looking at other houses for sale. If she’s going all the way out to Etobicoke, she may as well check out a few others while she’s there.

Showings confirmed, she dresses for the spin class she’s hitting first and makes her way downstairs, catching Morgan in the parking garage. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He smiles. He’s got a couple teammates with him, the only thing stopping her from burying her face in his neck and slipping her hands into his hoodie pocket. “How’s it going?”

“Good.” She answers truthfully. It’s been a couple days since they’ve talked, longer since she’s seen him, even just in passing like this; he’s been out of town a lot this month for games. “You happy to be home for a bit?”

“Yeah,” Morgan nods, meeting her eyes, and she hadn’t intended the question to be anything more than what it is, but she catches the double meaning in his answer right away. “I am.”

“Yeah.” She catches herself mindlessly agreeing with him, forgetting about the teammates standing with him watching their every move and smiling gently at Morgan, instead. “It’ll be nice.”

Someone coughs, lightly, but it’s enough to break the moment. She suspects, from the look on Morgan’s face, that whichever one of his friend’s had interrupted had done so on purpose, is putting some kind of story together, and she’s taking that as her cue to go. “I’ll talk to you soon, I’m sure. Catch you in the halls.” She tries to joke, but it falls flat, so she makes her goodbyes instead, and even though they’re not alone, it’s impossible not to reach out and brush her fingers against his arm for just the quickest of touches as she passes.

-----

“What do you think?” Ophelia can feel Pam studying her, but she bites her lip before she answers, knowing that she’s being an absolute pest.

“I just-I don’t really love it.” She says finally, and to her absolute credit, her realtor doesn’t even blink, even though this is the fifth house this afternoon she’s said that exact same thing about.

“What didn’t you love?”

What didn’t she love? Jesus, fucking everything. The bedrooms were too small, the kitchen was laid out terribly, the whole floor plan was a mess. Even petty little things, like the shape of the breakfast nook bothered her about this house. She explains her issues with the house, promising to make a list of what she’s absolutely looking for, and to send over any places she wants to take a look at, before slipping into her car and taking a deep breath.

There’s a text waiting for her from Jon. Going to be late at the office tonight, working on a pitch. Don’t wait up.

Another deep breath. She shoots off a response, a quick ok, and then swipes to another thread. Are you home?

Morgan’s response comes almost immediately. Yeah, just about to order dinner. You want in?

She does, absolutely. Be there in an hour.

Morgan has dinner waiting in takeout containers and plates ready, but Ophelia’s perfectly happy to ignore both of those in favor of pressing herself as close to him as she can and pushing up for a kiss. “Hi.” She says, a little breathlessly.

“I’m certainly not complaining, but what’d I do to deserve that?” He pulls her back in, entangling her fingers with his one hand and using the other to pull her closer. She loves when he holds her like this, keeps her so close that it feels like nothing can come between them, that nothing matters besides the two of them.

She traces a pattern along his hand and feels him pull her in even more tightly. “Just for being you.” It’s a little sappy, too sappy maybe, but she cherishes every moment she’s gotten to spend knowing him and growing with him.

The kiss Morgan pulls her in for at that is soft and promising, but he pulls back, looking as if it almost pains him. “Dinner first?” And because she can hear his stomach rumbling, she nods in agreement, with a smile and the smallest of laughs.

“Dinner first.”

-----

It’s snowing.

It’s snowing and the pond is frozen, but it’s empty, surrounded by evergreens and mountains, already coated in white. The air is crisp, that winter crispness that can only truly be felt in the middle of nowhere, and Ophelia breathes deeply, taking in the distinct scent of winter that she never really gets in Toronto, before it’s overpowered by a familiar one.

When Morgan skates up behind her, he doesn’t stop; instead, he only slows down enough to catch her arm and pull her along with him.

“Morgan!” Ophelia scolds, but she’s laughing when she does, so he can’t possibly take her seriously.

“Ophelia!” He mimics, picking up speed, ignoring her sudden shriek and skating around in front of her to take both of her hands.

“Showoff.” She nods at him, still leading the two of them around the pond, only moving backwards now, so as to still be looking at her.

“Nah, just want to look at that pretty face more.”

When she stops, it doesn’t even catch him off guard; Morgan just glides the half step closer to her, still grinning as she teases him. “You get to look at my face all the time now.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m ever tired of it.” She loves him so much. How open and honest he is, that he always says what he’s thinking, from the sweetest things like that to anything he’s unclear about. His gentle touches, the warm caresses. His stupid dad jokes. She’d spend forever laughing at them just to see the smile on his face when she does.

“Not yet, at least.” She teases. “‘Ever’ is a lot of time.”

“Still not enough.” Morgan says, and then slips one of his hands into his pocket, coming back out with a velvet jewelry box. “Maybe forever?”

“Hey.” It doesn’t sound right, too distant and too unenthusiastic; it doesn’t match the pure joy in Morgan’s eyes looking at her.

“Yes.” She says, smiling and nodding at him.

“Phel,” there’s a gentle nudge against her neck and she blinks awake. There’s Morgan...but…she blinks the fuzziness of the dream away. He looks unhappy, reluctant, and she gets it, suddenly, when he continues. “It’s late.”

“Oh.” She says quietly, swallowing the lump in her throat. He presses a kiss to the back of her neck, another one on the soft skin where it meets her shoulder. “Mo-“ Morgan lifts his head to look at her, but there’s nothing she could say right now that would bring happiness to his face, nothing that would come even close to the unbridled excitement in her dream, so she keeps the memory close to her heart and gives him a soft kiss instead, before she has to go.

-----

“Glass of red, as requested.” Ophelia smiles in thanks as Jon passes her a glass, but her attention is directed at the monstrosity of a tie that his coworker and best friend has shown up to a corporate event wearing.

“Kevin.” She says, and from the grin on his face, her disbelief is clear. “What is that?”

“It’s fashion, Ophelia.” Kevin says, putting an act of superiority on, but then going right back to his usual, kind of goofy, self. “Naw, I found it when we were in Dallas last week. It’s lit, isn’t it?”

“Lit.” She repeats dryly, taking a sip of her wine to hide a smile as he and Jon laugh.

The laughs don’t last long, as the three of them are approached by Jon’s boss, and the small talk begins. There’s a client there they want to land tonight, or at least make dinner plans with for a later date, and that’s top priority, but don’t forget to make time for this person too because their contract is up in March, and of course, you can’t ignore the Leafs, especially not so-and-so from the such-and-such’s office because they’re looking to renew the sponsorship agreement after the season, and...

She blanks on all the names. All she needs to do is smile pretty anyway.

She excuses herself after Keith Williams (the client, who agrees to dinner later in the week, another night she’ll be alone) to refill her wine glass, and is waiting by the bar when she feels someone slide in next to her just a step too close. Instead of feeling tense though, it relaxes her immediately, and she leans against Morgan. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He smiles back at her. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Ophelia’d noticed him the minute he’d walked the door, noticed the way his suit was perfectly cut, that the navy brought out his eyes, had had a hard time looking away. “You look okay, I guess.”

Morgan laughs. “Okay, I guess?” He repeats, nudging her side.

“Very handsome.” She accepts her glass of wine from the bartender and smiles in thanks before he leaves them. “It’s a good suit on you.”

She’s sure he’s going to make a comment about how it’s an even better suit off him, but they’re interrupted. “Mo!” Someone says behind them, and Ophelia hadn’t even realized how close they were standing, that she’s curling into him and he’s leaning back, until they have to separate to turn around.

“Mitchy.” Morgan greets, sounding as calm as usual, while Ophelia feels like her heart’s going to beat out of her chest. “Finally made it, huh?”

“Matts couldn’t decide on what shoes he wanted to wear.” Mitch grumbles as the blonde next to him snickers into her palm.

“Worth the wait.” Ophelia looks over at the voice and realizes it’s one of the teammates Morgan had over the other week. She quickly realizes from the look on his face that he’s putting together the same pieces.

“Was it though?’ Mitch is asking him. “That’s the last time we agree to carpool.”

He’s ignored though. “We’ve met before, yeah?”

Ophelia nods. “Uh yeah, I live in the same building as Morgan.” She transfers her wine glass to her left hand to offer her right hand out to shake, catches the blonde’s eyes immediately go to her ring, and ignores the feeling in her stomach as she introduces herself to them.

They’re all friendly enough-Auston, Mitch, Mitch’s girlfriend-but she can’t help but feel like they’re just trying to feel her out for something; she makes polite chit-chat for a few minutes and then excuses herself away from them to go back to Jon.

“Hey.” She says quietly, slipping back into his side.

“All good?” He asks quietly. “You were gone for a while.”

She nods. “ Just ran into someone I know.” He hums noncommittally and she feels a moment of fear for Morgan, but then they’re moving toward that guy from the Leafs office he’s supposed to be talking with and he’s back to all business.

-----

“Can we talk about this later?” Jon zips his suitcase and then looks over at her. “I’ve got to go.”

“When do you want to talk about it?” Ophelia cries frustratedly. “You’re always fucking going.”

Jon glares at her.” Jesus Christ, Ophelia.” He starts rolling his suitcase down the hall and she follows, unable to resist.

“Should I even bother looking at houses still? Or should we just stay stagnant?”

“Do whatever the fuck you want, Ophelia. I don’t care right now.” The door slams behind him, but for once, she can’t bring herself to be mad about it, too furious about the fight they just had, shouting in circles about things they’ve already fought about.

Stewing in her anger isn’t going to do her any good, so she changes and heads to the gym, each pounding step on the treadmill relieving the thrumming under her skin. She’s feeling better, by the time she slows it down to her cool down- not quite calm, by any means, but enough that she feels she can run the errands she needs to for the day without snapping at anyone who doesn’t deserve her ire.

She’s in the grocery store when her phone starts ringing. “Hey.” She smiles when she sees it’s Morgan.

“Hey.” She can practically hear him smiling, even through the phone, her airpods still in her ears. “I’m home.”

She’s in the snack aisle at the food store, absolutely beaming at the simplest words, just because he’s been gone for a week. “You are?”

“For a few days now.” He confirms.

“You want to come for dinner tonight?” She studies the cart in front of her. “I’ll cook.”

“You’re cooking? Tell me when to be there.” Morgan already sounds excited. It’s not often she gets a chance to cook for him, but every time she does, he raves about it.

She laughs. “I’m at the store now; I’ll text you when I get home.”

He’s actually waiting for her in the parking garage when she pulls in and she laughs at him fondly as she parks her car. “Welcome back.”

“Hmm, good to be back.” The kiss he gives her in greeting is quick, too quick, but he makes up for it when he pushes her back against the counter as soon as they’re in her kitchen and the groceries are on the counter.

“Do you want risotto tonight or not?” Ophelia laughs against his lips, laughs again as she watches how torn Morgan looks. “We have time.”

He squeezes her hand. “Never enough.” And she kisses him again, because it’s true. These stolen moments, this borrowed time, none of it felt like enough. It wouldn’t ever be enough to show him all the love she has for him, to show him everything he does for her, all the pain he takes away and the joy he brings to her life.

“Could you go pick out a bottle of wine?” She says quietly, nodding toward the wine fridge, instead of saying the things they both know are true, but will only lead to her saying something stupid, like asking him to run away with her.

-----

The house comes in Pam’s daily email and Ophelia loves it from the first picture. She requests a showing for as early as possible and goes through her morning routine, trying not to get overly excited each time her phone buzzes with a new notification, until finally, Pam responds that she’ll meet her there at noon.

It’s only two hours, but it’s two hours that she can’t seem to fill, no matter what she does. Time feels like it’s stopped, until finally she gets in her car and drives over.

The stone exterior is even more beautiful in person than in the pictures. The kitchen is straight out of her dreams. The bedrooms are spacious, the family room is open, the basement is huge. She walks the entire house once, goes through again and again, smile growing wider each time.

Ophelia can picture it perfectly. The laughter filling all these nooks and crannies. A small blue-eyed boy always bouncing around, begging for anyone to play hockey with him. A girl, the shine of her dark hair catching all the natural light, eagerly trying to keep up with him. Morgan throwing his bag down the second he walks in the door and scooping them both into his arms to say hello, before coming to her and a baby, greeting them both just as tenderly.

It’s abrupt, the crash back to reality. This house, this beautiful, gorgeous, house can’t be hers. That life isn’t hers. It can’t be hers. It won’t be theirs.

Ophelia doesn’t feel her legs crumble out from under her, but she finds herself on the floor, hand brushing over the carpet. She doesn’t feel the tears start either, but it’s not long before the sobs are wracking her entire body and she’s unable to stop.

#morgan rielly fanfic #morgan rielly imagine #hockey fanfic #hockey imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #toronto maple leafs imagine #my hockey fics

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1214

Who was the last person you took a photo with? Was it self-taken? Angela and I took so many photos last Sunday. It was a mixture of selfie shots and photos taken by Hans.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? Yeah, I enrolled in the Spanish and Korean courses on Duolingo. Spanish went smoothly for a while until it got to a point where it felt like I was just doing it as a game; the verb tenses eventually got too difficult as well, so it was natural for me to just take an indefinite break altogether.

Korean was way too challenging from the beginning because of how similar the vowels sounded on the app; it was so much easier to just watch Korean shows and learn to read Hangul/pick up Korean from there.

When was the last time you charged your phone? It’s charging at the moment. It was at 2% just a few minutes ago.

So, what are your plans for the near future (a year)? Save money and get better at my job.

Do you prefer questions about trivial things, or more deep and meaningful? You mean on surveys? Trivial things. I like taking surveys so I can take a quick break away from life, not so I can get existential crises along the way.

What can you hear right now? Tell me even the tiniest things. I’m listening to music on my headphones and it’s pretty loud, so this is the only thing I can hear. My fan is also currently on its strongest level so I know it’s being quite loud, but I can’t hear it.

Where did you last ride in a car to and why? I went to the McDonald’s drive thru to pick up my BTS Meal lol

Tell me about a person that comes to your head whose name starts with M. A batchmate from high school named Mavic. We’ve talked like once since graduating, and it was her recommending some GOT7 songs to me since I had mentioned in a tweet that I found their music pretty good.

Do you drink alcohol? How often? Yes. Maybe once or twice a month, I’d say.

Do you have any bills that need to be paid right now? Nopes.

Can you rap freestyle? Or at least sing raps from songs? I can’t do freestyle but yeah I memorize a few rap songs, specifically from Watch the Throne since I had a phase where I was heavily into the album. I can rap some Korean verses but I’ll mostly need my phone as guidance to read the lyrics as I find them impossible to memorize hahaha.

Do you know anyone from the Philippines? Robynnn. < :D :D

What was the last type of soup you ate? Miso soup, from my Yabu meal last night.

Are you more logical or creative, or maybe somewhere in between? Logical.

Do you use bar soap or gel soap? Bar soap.

What colour do you associate with the flavour mint? Hm, either white or green.

When was the last time you had brunch? My family and I usually have brunch on Sundays, so this morning.

Does your bedroom door have a lock on it? Do you have to use it? It does. I use it occasionally during the day so my mom doesn’t just barge in - as she does - during my shift, especially if I have an important meeting coming up. Lately I’ve also been locking my room at night, just because.

How many times a year do you travel away from home? If you mean TRAVEL travel and not just driving to the next city to go to the mall, maybe 3-4 times a year. Obviously we’ve had to put a stop to that for now, but that’s the average.

Describe your go-to outfit to me, please. T-shirt or blouse + mom jeans.

Do you like your job? Why or why not? I do like it as it’s in line with my interests and strengths. It’s just very stressful this month as there are so many big campaigns we have to support in June so I’m not exactly having a very dandy time right now. But I like the job overall.

How about your boss? What's your boss like? I work under two bosses; one is my manager and another is a director. They’re both great and are very helpful guides. It also helps that the three of us are very close in age, so there’s no layer of intimidation that lingers when we work together.

Do you have a credit card? Do you rely on it? I don’t have a credit card per se but I have a credit line on one of my apps that I will use a few times a month. No, I make it a point not to be reliant on it and only use it for emergencies.

Are you bitter about anything at the moment? Tell me about it. Just the fact that it’s Sunday again and I have to work tomorrow when I feel barely well-rested. I love my job and working on the BTS Meal has been sunshine and rainbows, but I need to breathe lmao.

What colour is your bath towel? At the moment, it’s sky blue.

Who was the last person you saw a movie at the cinema with? Who paid? Gabie. We paid for our own tickets.

Do you message friends and family on Facebook regularly? Yes, it’s my main mode of communication.

What is the most played song in your iTunes (or other) library? According to Spotify, it’s Butter for the month of June (so far).

Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? I have not. I don’t even live on my own yet.

Do you have a song in your head? Do you remember how it got stuck there? Just the song I’m currently listening to.

When was the last time you did laundry? Hmm, never? I don’t do the laundry at home.

Do you still have a landline phone in your home? Yep. My grandma still prefers to communicate via landline, so we keep it around for her.

How are you feeling today? Happy, sad, or anything else? Hot and uncomfortable. Kinda crestfallen because it’s Sunday, but at least the worst part of the month aka last Friday is finally over and it’s all post-campaign work stuff from here. Also feeling giddy because some of my orders just arrived :D I guess I’m all over the place today.

What is your favourite brand of shoes? Nike.

If you smoke, what's your brand of choice? I don’t smoke as a habit, so I don’t have a go-to brand. If I do smoke, I just go with whatever brand since I just ask for cigarettes from friends anyway.

Have you ever built a snowman? Nope.

Does it even snow where you live? No.

If you had to volunteer for a week, where would you like to volunteer? A shelter for stray dogs and cats.

Who was the last person you made you upset? What did they do? Just some annoying people on Facebook who seem to find it fun to rain on other people’s happiness.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Tell me about them. Nah.

Have you ever had something signed by someone famous? What and who? A postcard from Sheamus and a poster from AJ Lee. Both wrestlers.

What was the last thing you said aloud? “Awww” after reading a heartwarming post on Facebook.

#survey #surveys

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 4 years

Text

Thru the Window- Joe x Reader

(prompt: you're living in the Netherlands with the Def Leppard crowd while they're recording Hysteria. You're Joe's girlfriend, but you're both trying to keep your relationship a secret)

Inspired by the song "Thru the Window" by REO Speedwagon (a song about this ever so classic and adorable trope. I also tried to use as many of these lyrics as possible :3D)

------

(June 1986)

Joe's eyes shifted over to the clock on his nightstand yet again after another five seconds had passed. He just couldn't help himself. It was 11:22, and 11:35 couldn't possibly come soon enough. A warm breeze blew through his open window, hitting the bottoms of his feet as he lay flat on his back. There was adrenaline pulsing through him so ardently that he tried to will it away, but it was no use. He was too excited, and he had to wait at least another ten minutes or so before he could act on it.

His eagerness had certainly slowed down time itself tonight, and it had definitely gotten the better of him in multiple ways.

For one thing, his leg wouldn't stop bouncing. For another thing, he'd gotten changed far too early, and was laying on his bed in his date clothes. His "date clothes" (being a rather unflattering combination of a Cheap Trick t-shirt tucked into some sweatpants) weren't meant to be anything to look at, but he wanted to be as casual as possible. The goal was to be unrecognizable (as much as you could be at this time of night), but pleasing.

Either way, Joe knew you wouldn't mind it. To him, these 'dates' you two had weren't done for the looks. You saw each other enough that you didn't give a shit about proper attire.

Joe's hands were neatly and formally folded on his stomach as he stared up at the dark ceiling of his hotel room. With nothing to distract him, his mind was on the verge of running mad. There were so many things he could've been thinking about as he waited, such as the tremendous progress that had been made in recording the new album, whether or not the jukebox at the pub got fixed yet, or what he'd have for breakfast the next morning.

What he actually chose to think of was "Why did I turn off the light, again?"

Some answers were quite simple.

"Oh yeah. Cos' to everyone else I'm 'asleep' right now."

The light being off was just a small but vital detail to the plan you two had for the night.

Once his own question was answered, his mind moved onto the next topic: another five seconds had passed. Joe turned his head to look at the clock again. 11:23. Great.

His head angled back upwards, seeing the imaginary dots and waves of colors appear before his eyes in the dark. His leg still bounced, his hands began to weave together, and he closed his eyes to hum the first tune that came to mind. It was necessary to drown out the sound of the ticking clock in his head.

Joe inhaled slowly, and held the breath for a quick instant. Just ten more minutes, he told himself. Ten more minutes, and then he could go. Ten more minutes. Ten. Two sets of five. Five sets of two. Just ten more-

"Fuck it," he lowly said as he sat up and put on his shoes.

Oh well. These dates weren't about being on time, either. 'On time' was late, after all. He wanted to decide when the time had come.

After slipping on his shoes, double checking that he had his wallet, and triple checking that his door was locked, Joe pushed open the window sash to create a more ideal opening to slip through. Into the darkness he went, out onto the fire escape, then he descended to the ground below. He began on the second floor, so each step lower was done with the utmost caution.

When he reached the next level, his heart jumped upon seeing the light still on in Malvin's room. Flattening himself next to the window, Joe carefully climbed over the railing of the fire escape and lowered himself down until it was safe enough to let go.

His feet met the ground, making a firm landing. He looked back up at the lit window and grinned under the open summer sky. He'd slipped away like a thief in the night.

Joe's legs began to move, trotting to the other side of the hotel (the side by the lake), and feeling the warm breeze rushing by his face. He couldn't help but smile; all his pent-up adrenaline was finally being put to use.

As always, he made sure to race for the shadows of the building to make a trail no one could follow. He was always beyond careful, making sure nobody would ever see or hear his driven intentions. It was better that no one knew. It was more fun that way for both of you.

Your silhouette became clear to him once he reached the other side, your window now visible on high. Joe slowed his run until he was a few yards from the base of the hotel. His head angled up to your room, taking note of the dim light from within. You weren't facing the window, but Joe knew you were waiting for him on this summer night.

He could've sworn he sensed your excitement, too; he could practically hear your heartbeat. It may have been his own heightened sparks of joy pounding in his ears- as he knew he was unarguably early. Still, date night was date night, and the singer was eager to kick things off. There was no time to lose. It was time to announce his arrival.

After reaching down into the grass and locating a small stone, Joe found a trajectory from where he stood, and flung his attention getter up at your window.

***

Your eyes shifted over to the clock on your nightstand once another five minutes had passed. It was 11:27, and 11:35 was just around the corner. Smiling, you turned back to your mirror and leaned forward, finishing up the last bit of your makeup. A warm breeze blew through your open window, lifting thin strands of your hair up to slightly flutter in front of your eyes.

It was true that you didn't need to dress up in any way, but your excitement had gotten the better of you. The plans for the night urged you to be dolled up at least a little bit. Who cared if it was going on midnight? You were still going out on a date, and you were still going to be in public. Some jeans and a crop top were just right for the occasion- with it being a warm and breezy night. The outfit was casual enough for the pub that you and Joe called your own, but flattering enough that you knew Joe would love it.

You drew back from the vanity and admired your appearance. Tonight would be great without a doubt. All there was left to do was wait for the man of the hour. Maybe you'd wait at the window and-

The sound of something landing behind you grabbed your attention. You turned and looked to the floor, spotting a small stone. Your eyes squinted from confusion, but your mouth angled into a smile.

To the window you went, and you gazed outside, seeing Joe down on the lawn below.

"Really?" you gently scoffed at him.

He looked a bit embarrassed, "Sorry! I didn't see it was open 'til it was too late..."

You chuckled and shook your head, turning back to stuff your wallet into your pocket and to switch off your lamp. With your room now dark, and your door locked, you slipped away through your own window, and made your way down your own fire escape.

Joe held out his hand once you were within reach, and led you down the remaining stairs.

You told him, "You're early."

He immediately retaliated, "You're lucky."

"How?"

"You don't have any acquaintances living below you," he tilted his head sweetly, "When I climbed down just now, Malvin was still awake. He could've caught me, you know..."

You rubbed your thumb over his hand and scoffed, "I doubt that- you're too sneaky."

"Could say the same about you, you know," he teased back, placing his other hand on your waist and moving in closer.

"That's why we're a good fit," you declared before moving your hand to the back of his head and kissing him. Another breeze blew around you both as he locked you in the embrace.

When it was broken, he quickly stepped back and pulled on your arm, urging you to come along jokingly, "Now quick, before anyone sees-"

He dragged you forward, adding, "I've got a good feeling the jukebox is gonna be fixed tonight!"

You laughed as you began to run next to him, both of you now running freely through the night in the open street. The energy between both of you was high, making it a thrill to be alive in that moment. Such high emotion was bound to make the date night better than it'd ever been, taking you both where you'd never been before.

Yes, you could have taken one of your cars, but then there would've suddenly been a higher chance of someone seeing that at least one of you was gone. It was just another minute detail to ensure the safety of your plan. Even the pub you and Joe normally went to was one that the others probably didn't even know existed.

The route to get there was a simple one; you always liked to say that it was "over the bridge, five blocks east, and down a dirt road that is barely a street". You were both still running when you ran over the bridge, eager to get to your relationship's safe haven. It was only when you reached said bridge that you slowed to a normal walk.

You hugged Joe's arm, laughing and panting as you crept around the neighborhood "It's such a perfect night- I'm so glad we planned a date tonight."

"Yeah, couldnt've asked for anything better," he grinned up at the stars, "We made an easy getaway, too."

"Not often we get nights like these. Remember the night you were in my room and Phil almost came in?"

Joe cackled up at the sky, recalling, "Ah- yeah, can never forget that one. We barely got away with that one. How did he not hear me talking?"

"I have no idea, but I've never hidden someone that fast in my life- let alone someone as big or as naked as you were."

"Oi!" he whined, "You want a date or not?"

You giggled and rested your head against his arm, "I'll behave, I swear."

"Good, cos' the fun hasn't even started yet," he warned, tenderly putting his other hand on your arm. In a few minutes, the dirt road was in sight, looking like a familiar and secret setting of a dream. At the end of the street, the glowing lights of the secluded pub were now visible.

"I'll race you," you smirked before bolting away from Joe and down the street.

Instantly, he bolted after you, "Hey!"

He caught up quickly (his long legs being an advantage), and stopped you by gripping the back of your shirt. He did his best to take you in his arms, but tripped in the process, sending you both down to the dirt at an angle. You both hit the ground laughing, rolling onto your backs and cackling up to the summer stars.

"Sorry-" Joe huffed. You both paused for a second or two, then he rolled over to quickly straddle and pin you to the ground.

"What are you doing?" you laughed at him, as if you didn't already know. He stroked your hair back with a loving smile, leaning down and softly kissing you. He was tender for only that second before kissing his way down to your neck, making you squirm underneath him.

"Ah- Joe!" you squealed, your face flushing up, "Cut it out! We're outside-!"

"Oi!" a different voice sounded off not so far away. You both turned your heads to see the owner of the pub standing out on the front porch, sending a parental scowl at the pair of you.

"Adrian- he's mad, I tell you!" you adopted a fake tone of helplessness.

"She started it," Joe blamed with a smirk.

"You two again, huh?" Adrian scolded you, "I'll be having no filthy business at the porch of my pub, you hear? Save it for the pool room."

"Yes, dad," Joe whined, shooting a cranky scowl down at you, rolling off and helping you up. You hit him on the arm playfully, him flinching at first, then putting his arm back around you. You both faced Adrian and began to walk up to the porch.

"I haven't seen the pair of you for almost 2 weeks, what's happened with ya?" he asked.

You answered, "Ah, studio troubles."

"And you're still keepin' this a secret, I take it?"

"It's the way we like it! It's more fun that way," Joe told him, " 'Our little secret' keeps the adrenaline going. Is the jukebox working again?"

"Been working since last week," Adrian's eyes followed you both as you edged closer, "Got 6 new singles on it now."

Joe's eyes lit up, "Oh, brilliant, which ones?"

"Ah, I can't remember, you'll see them soon anyway."

You got to the porch, Adrian holding the door open for both of you. With your date a threshold away, you stopped and asked him quietly with an air of implication, "Oh, also... when will the pool room be open?"

You looked at Joe with a devious smile. He returned it to you, beaming with similar energy.

"I can have everyone out of there by midnight if that's what you want, darling," Adrian gave a single nod, a glint of understanding in his eyes.

"No need to rush it, mate," Joe clapped a hand on his shoulder, "Take your time. We've got all night, after all."

"Well I've only got until 2:30," he warned, "So I'll let you kids know as soon as I can."

"You're the best," you leaned up and kissed Adrian's cheek, "Thanks for everything, as always."

"Don't mention it, love. You two be careful, now."

Both you and Joe droned as you walked inside, "We know."

With that, you both disappeared into the warmly lit building, feeling the summer heat as well as the heat of each other. It was always a dream come true with Joe no matter what; a dream with no one else to flaunt it at except each other, and it was more than enough.

Your own little secret world was just between the two of you, and that was the way you liked it best. That was all either of you really needed, anyway; each other.

The end

#def leppard #def leppard fanfic #original content #Joe x reader #Joe Elliott #Phil Collen #Joe Elliott x reader #def leppard x reader #reo speedwagon #i finished this in March but wanted to wait until the summer to post it flelllhpdlphphpd #I KNOW I ONLY WRITE/POST JOE X READER SHIT DON'T @ ME #I CAN'T HELP IT #i know this fic is really stupid but i immediately fell in love with this song & wanted to write some adorable aesthetic summer fantasy shi #and i want everyone to like this song too bc hhhhhhhhITCAPTURESTHEFEELINGOFASUMMERNIGHTANDILOVEIT

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asbcblog · 3 years

Text

TOP SONGS OF 2020 WRITE UP!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6WDeuRMOV8neAhU2zd193d?si=lZ9gDIp0TsCCEOeCS7_QGw

1. I remember everything - John Prine

I was going to write an incredibly earnest and long review of this song that outlined just how much John Prine meant to me. I can’t really do it and I think this song probably says enough alone. With only a few chords he always manages to express all the little things that make love what it is, all different kinds of love. Long lasting, short moments, love with places, sounds, going places and staying home, endless family ties, and the often fragile but in the end tenable love between all human beings in the face of catastrophe. The pandemic stole a lot of things from a lot of people this year, including John Prine, but he will remain one of the greatest songwriters of all time and his songs will live on forever.

2. Dream Palette - Yves Tumor

I can’t drive but let’s pretend I’m driving, I’m in LA and it’s night time or something, my elbow’s out the window, don’t know why I’m wearing sunglasses, this song comes on the radio, I’m the coolest person alive.

3. Boylife in EU- Yung Lean

Not to repeat my review of Garden but when the chorus comes I feel like I’m on top of a really big hill and its pouring it down with rain and im screaming but this time its because of a no-deal Brexit.

4. Garden- Joseph Futak

My review was already used as part of Joe’s promo campaign and it said: “feel like im on top of a really big hill and its pouring it down with rain and I’m screaming when the drums come in x x”

5. Circle the Drain- Soccer Mommy

I like this song because I too, am often alone in my room, and I have also become obsessed with subtle breakbeats to an extent where people around me have become very bored of the subject.

6. The Brothers William Said- The Innocence Mission

I listened to this song over and over when I was travelling round London in January just after my birthday, it felt like I’d been listening to it for years, like it was in a movie I’d forgotten. It felt at the time like I was saying a lot of goodbyes, recognising that things weren’t really like they used to be.

7. On the Floor- Perfume Genius

Say it with me ladies: I CROSS OUT HIS NAME ON THE PAGE!!!!

8. Shameika- Fiona Apple

She may not believe it but I bet Fiona Apple looked tough with a riding crop.

9. Song for Our Daughter- Laura Marling

Everything about this is fantastic, mellow and bright at the same time. Every part is brought forward individually and no part of this song gets left behind. A stunning vocal from Laura Marling and purposeful lyrics set to a cinematically emotive instrumental. Pure magic as always.

10. Building site outside- Piglet

Not going to lie, I was in a very vulnerable emotional state when I listened to this song for the first time, but I think that makes it no less powerful and just, sad. The lyric ‘she smiled at me so much last time’ is just so simple and devastating that you forget this would’ve been on every indie film soundtrack from 2000-2008 if Piglet was an industry plant.

11. I wonder- Shamir

One word: EPIC

12. Crimson Tide- Destroyer

Listened to this every time I came on my period this year.

13. In the Dining Room - Joe Pera talks with you

Adam showed me Joe Pera when I really felt incredibly sad at the very beginning of this year. It’s a show that’s made me feel good, no matter the circumstances. This moment in the show made me smile, and I love hearing Gene come in a bit too early.

14. Stupid Love- Lady Gaga

Shakin my little booty in the kitchen to this x

15. Might bang, might not- Little Simz

Livid we didn’t all get to go to End of the Road and see all the hot dad’s loving Little Simz.

16. Fire- Waxahatchee

A truly insane vocal. I listened to this song on my way to work almost every day from September to December and fantasised singing back up at some kind of outdoor gig in the summer and it made everything significantly less bleak.

17. Hannah Sun- Lomelda

This song is too nice and genuine for me to say anything other than, “really lovely song :)”.

18. Scroll of Sorrow- Machine Girl, guayaba

Listened to this a lot this year while sitting on my kitchen floor staring into an empty oven, wondering if I was ever going to go to a party again.

19. Build a nest- Jeff and Ruby Parker

Have put this on in the flat because the guitar solo reminds me of everything my dad listens to at home. A really great piece of music that kicks off a really exciting album.

20. Kiss me thru the phone- That Kid

Ned said yesterday that he thought it was funny how much the original of this song is so foundational to hyper pop and I agree. Also I’ve started saying ‘Bitch’ like That Kid does every time I stub my toe.

21. Cuckoo- Sam Amidon

I am punting down a creek, looking in the branches that hang over the water for the bird that shall lead me to my next clue.

22. Places/ Plans- Skullcrusher

Used this song to comfort myself in moments where I also just don’t understand why I’m not famous.

23. Sweetjoy- Jam City

Finally….. HAIM for dudes.

24. Clean Living- Slow Weather

I saw someone listening to this on the side of my Spotify so I decided to give it a go and it was a fantastic decision. It’s mental that half of this song is an outro.

25. Summer All Over- Blake Mills

Along with the music video visuals and the dampened piano tone, this wins the competition for least summer-y song with the actual word summer in the title.

26. Ready Cheeky Pretty- CHAI

All of my joy this year has been brought to me by CHAI. I have nothing negative to say about CHAI. If you have anything negative to say about CHAI you’re gonna have to go through me.

27. Diaphanous- Land of Talk

This band was recommended to me by a guy I was trying to flirt with at rough trade east but everything closed before I could impress him by saying ‘I think they’re really cool’.

28. Anything - Adrianne Lenker

Anyone who has ever attempted to write a song with me knows how much I simply love rhyming. Seriously though, every thing rhymes, brilliant stuff. (It’s also such a brilliantly full and constant song that still manages to move and remain exciting from start to finish. I imagine this is partially due to Adrianne Lenker’s almost nursery rhyme- esque structure and also due to her beautifully colloquial approach to family dynamics.)

29. Blow- Dj Gigola, Kev Koko

This song makes me wish I was Jason Bourne- just wanna jump really far while something explodes behind me.

30. Money Can’t Buy- Yaeji, Nappy Nina

‘Well I’ll buy some Yaeji tickets, they’re for NOVEMBER, there’s NO WAY they’re gonna get cancelled’.

31. Only the Truth- Johanna Warren

When I first listened to this song I felt like I was floating in the ocean looking up at the stars as the drums came in on ‘what more can I do’. An incredibly beautiful and careful song.

32. Gasoline- Haim

2020 could probably be summarised with the phrase ‘WHY AM I NO LONGER IN CALIFORNIA? WHY DID I LEAVE CALIFORNIA?’ And this song is the 3 minutes 13 seconds seconds of escapism I needed to not topple into a full spiral.

33. Mapuu - Ic3peak

No one can convince me that Ic3peak are real people. They are a collective made up of child ghosts.

34. Don’t Worry- Bladee

Whenever I have an anxiety attack in the night I wake up and see Bladee’s ghost of the future over my bed, he says ‘Don’t worry’ and mumbles for a bit as I fall back into a peaceful sleep.

35. The biggest tits in history- The magnetic fields

The most relatable magnetic fields song imo.

36. Sand Castle- nijuu

Yujin is a genius and my answer is yes, I do want to just walk for a while.

37. Curl Up- Darren Hayman

Ned reminded me how much I used to love Darren Hayman, and both of them have been a pretty big part of my year.

38. When Will Death Come- Sarah Mary Chadwick

‘Wow, mental voice’ - Ned, while doing the washing up.

39. Dear Dad - Sylvie Wiley

‘But I didn’t cry, you’d be proud’ Sylvie, I’m weeping forever.

40. 34+35- Ariana Grande

Hehehehehehehehehe

41. Garden Song- Phoebe Bridgers

Phoebe Bridgers is a pretty unparalleled lyricist and this song feels like a disconnected series of thoughts that somehow all make sense together and come to create something that doesn’t build, but all just kind of sits? What I’m trying to say is that I don’t really know what she’s talking about but like, I get it.

42. Ringtone (remix) - 100 gecs, Charli xcx, Kero Kero Bonito, Rico Nasty,

I love the way it sounds like everyone got just one take and had to improvise all the lyrics but it still bangs.

43. Changer- Andy Shauf

Thank you lord for another album about a smaller than average man overthinking all of his social interactions with lots of lovely clarinet parts.

44. What’s your pleasure - Jessie Ware

My pleasure jessie? Probably just sitting by the fire with a tough crossword and a glass of merlot x

45. Slime- Shygirl

Shygirl’s series of singles this year made me even more livid that I had to take out my eyebrow piercing for my new job this year.

46. Sears Tower- Salem

Perfect halloween release.

47. Title track- happyness

Ned turned to me and said: ‘so is their new thing that they sound like Elliot Smith’ and I said: ‘and that’s a bad thing?’

48. Cross-sound ferry (walk on ticket) - Hamilton Leithauser

Have found unbelievable joy in chopping veg and shouting GREEEEEEEN PORT, NEEEEEEWWWW YOOORK alone in my kitchen.

49. Lowswimmer- Hailaker

I’ve loved hearing Jemima’s voice when I haven’t got to see her much this year. I normally take the piss out of the Hambledon line but I haven’t seen that this year really either. I guess we find sentimentality in strange places.

50. XS - Rina Sawayama

This song made me feel very decadent on those days where I didn’t wash.

51. Emily- Clem Snide

Let’s be more kind and brave in the face of it all.

52. Building a fire- Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy

P.O.V you’re doing bushcraft in the garden with your husband Bonnie Prince Billy and he’s here to protect you.

53. Asexual Wellbeing- Okay Kaya

This song absolutely bangs but I am truly bewildered by the way they singled out the line ‘if they could put a pulse into a spinach leaf, can they turn the two of us into a tree?’ in the production as if that was a true piece of genius. As I say great tune tho.

54. Anthems- Charli xcx

The soundtrack to couch to 5k

55. Never Better- Kitty Fitz

A SE London queen bringing us huge pop tunes in 2020. So so excited to see what 2021 brings us from Kitty, she’s gonna be a real force!

56. Deep in Love- Bonny Light Horsemen

This is such a delightful song which (mainly due to the time I actually got around to listening to the whole record) for me really rang in the spring. A beautifully recorded testament to the feeling of love getting stronger meaning you have a lot more to lose.

57. Malibu- Kim Petras

My song of the summer, made me feel like I was at the beach when really I was in Lewisham.

58. Like I’m Winning it- Girlpool

I’m so delighted that the turn girlpool have made this year is towards dramatic goth music with breakbeats. Their voices both sound amazing and they look simply incredible.

59. Azad- Frazey Ford

I have no idea what she’s saying as always but I love it.

60. Helio- Charlotte Dos Santos

I’m literally so excited for what Charlotte Dos Santos is gonna put out next. The production is fantastic and her aesthetics are flawless.

61. Lost in the Country- Trace Mountains

‘I checked my email twice as I cried’. Safe to say we’ve all been there this year amirite girlies x

62. Unfold You- Rostam

I hated this at first, I thought, what’s this lo-fi beats to study to shit, but it’s now my classic ‘I’m just gonna pop to the shops, anyone want anything? x’ song. Huge.

63. Oh Yeah- A.G cook

One of 2020s realisations is that me and A.G Cook kind of look like we could be cousins.

64. Can’t cool me down- Car Seat Headrest

I would like to personally thank will Toledo for giving me a tune that got me off my ass when I was too warm to do exercise this summer.

65. Take back the radio- Katy J Paerson

In love with Katy J Pearson’s voice and the way this song builds. Just pretty flawless and feel good in my opinion. I think she’s such an exciting new artist who’s gonna be around for a very very long time.

66. Good Woman- The Staves

‘I’m a good woman’… speak for yourselves.

67. A Little Love- Jack Francis

Feel like I’ve been singing this song for about 5 years! It’s amazing and I’m so excited about what Jack’s going to bring out in 2021, he’s a genius and also the nicest man on the planet.

68. Lullaby No.4 - Snailbeach

This song makes me feel like I’m being hypnotised on a haunted carousel in a very relaxing way.

69. Boyfriend in every city- Roma Radz

Sucks that she can’t see any of her boyfriends cos of covid :(

70. Jaja ding dong- Will Ferrell

Get back in there and play Jaja Ding Dong !!!!

71. Highway- Jonatan leandoer96

Man, would be pretty sick to have 20 boys outside the club but alas the clubs are dead and I’ve only regularly texted about 4 people this year.

72. De nadie- Kali Uchis

Felt v sexy listening to this for the first time in a Morley’s in Honor Oak.

73. Weird Fishes- Lianne La Havas

This album was a pretty triumphant return for Lianna La Havas and me teenage self simply couldn’t be happier.

74. Micro Creature- Aya Gloomy

Love that despite everything about this song telling me otherwise, that the artwork for this single looks like Aya Gloomy is just chilling in the fields by my family home in Hampshire.

75. Si Ella Sale- Bad Bunny

Better get on the duolingo now if I’m gonna know what this guy’s saying at Porto next year.

76. Through my sails- Mountain Man

Truly gentle reimagining of an already incredibly beautiful song, mountain man make every word seem new!

77.Christmas Day (get me outta this funk) - Baggio and Blue 5 Years- Bath days

In joint 77th place are two banging Christmas songs that have soundtracked a pretty bleak Christmas period and have made me feel pretty joyous in their ways, despite one literally being called Blue Five Years.

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luckylq47-blog · 4 years

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Lincoln had no clue where he picked up

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benzbantz · 4 years

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Best 100 Songs of the decade!

As a new decade will be upon us shortly (the 20’s) I wanted to share some of my favourite tracks from the last 10 years. I’m a pop and rap guy mostly so that’s what you can mostly expect but hopefully a few surprises along the way. I’ll post 100 songs I really loved (in no particular order) then my top 25 absolute favourites at the end. Ok here we go

~Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

To limit myself to just one GaGa track is cruel and not easy, Edge of Glory and Born this Way are both anthems and technically this came out last moment 2009 ..but didn’t pop until 2010. A classic that makes it to most my playlists.

~Airplanes- B.O.B ft Hayley Williams (A classic no need to say more.)

~Love the Way you Lie - Eminem ft Rihanna

A absolutely brutal tune about a toxic relationship full of of lies and abuse, the powerful video really sells the tone of the song.

~Rescue Me - Skepta

Used to love Grime but gone off it for a while now. I wouldn’t call this an outright grime track but Skepta def brings the gritty uk rap scene on this one.

~Forget you ~ Ceeloo Green

Thou I prefer the Gnarls Barkley music style, this is still a awesome tune. Always fun to tell someone to do one in a sing song melody.

~Written in the Stars- Tinie Tempah ft Eric Turner

Used to love me some TT, this was a real catchy banger with great chorus by Eric Turner.

~Raise your glass - Pink (Not much to say, a pop classic)

~I need a Dr - Eminem, ft Dr Dre and Skylar Grey

This is such a underrated song. You have to really know your Dre and Em history to catch everything being said (which I won’t go into here) Brilliant tune and my fave they both worked on together that decade.

~Animal- Neon Trees

Really catchy little number that I enjoyed from first hearing.

~Look at me now - Chris Brown ft Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes

Busta Rhymes rap, that is all!

~Moves like Jagger - Maroon 5, Christina Aguilera

A great sing a long featuring two artists I’m not mad about really so a surprise like from me.

~ In the heat of the moment - Noah Gallagher’s High Flying Birds

What a tune, completely missed this first time around heard on a tv show recently checked it was this decade and then added it right on the list. Banger.

~Summertime Sadness AND ~Love - Lana Del Ray

2 for 1. When Summertime Sadness came out I was mesmerised by Lana’s voice had never heard anything like it before. Safe to say she is my artist of the decade but haven’t raided this count down with all her music. A couple here and a couple of my absolute faves in my ultimate top 25. Love was very heard to keep out of my top 25.

~Stronger (What doesn’t kill you) - Kelly Clarkson

Come on now, if you haven’t belted this one out the top of your lungs at least once I don’t know what you’ve been doing the last ten years.

~Somebody that I used to know - Goyte ft Kimbra

Went thru moments of really liking this song then it really irritating me (played on radio A LOT), thankfully years later the hype has died so I can appreciate it once more.

Midnight City- M83

This is not really my sort of music at all ,so much so I’m not even sure how to describe it. Has a 80’s feel which I love. Just love the infusion of synths and instrumental. Plus the singer has a very calm melodic voice. Great track.

~T.H.E - Will.I.Am ft Mick Jagger and Jennifer Lopez

Absolutely love this song so catchy very Fergie era BEP sounding, with a great guest solo from Mick Jagger.

~212 - Azealia Banks (not much to add on this, banger!)

~Too Close - Alex Close

If you don’t recognise this song from title you will once you hear it, such a forgotten gem.

~Picking up the Pieces - Paloma Faith

Another unique voice that def makes my top ten newly discovered artists this decade is Paloma Faith, her cover of Mama Cass’s Make your own kind of music also deserves a strong mention. Also not related to the music but Paloma is mad as a box of frogs in real life which I love.

~Bangarang- Skrillex

Yeah you’re not leaving alive from this post without a Skrillex nod I’m afraid, not a big dubstep fan but jumped aboard the band wagon when it was big for five minutes, this songs only thing that made it back with me thou.

~Hall of Fame - The Script ft Will.I.Am

First let’s clear this up I’m not a massive Will.I.Am fan or anything, he was just in EVERYTHING for the first few years of the 10’s. It’s a great song regardless.

~Harder then You think - Public Enemy (What a track, can’t say much more, banger.)

~Locked out of Heaven- Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars had some amazing tracks his debut album Doo Wops and Hooligans featured some brilliant tunes which sadly I just didn’t have space for in this countdown, Grenade, lazy song , Just the way you are, but I’m showing some love to Unorthodox Jukebox here and it’s best track giving Bruno Mars a edgier new vibe.

~Chocolate- 1975

Not my sort of music usually but really enjoyed this laid back rock number,

~Get Lucky - Daft Punk ft Pharrell Williams

Disco is back! Or is was in 2013 when this tune came out, one of the biggest selling singles worldwide in the 2010’s so not much more detail needed on its inclusion.

~Let her Go- Passenger

Nice little number, always liked this one, never really got into there other stuff but had to give this a shout out.

~Can’t hold us - Macklemore ft Ryan Lewis

The Heist is one of my fave albums from the last decade features some great tracks, same love and Thrift Shop get a shout out but this track was my fave, uplifting and full of energy.

~La La La - Naughty Boy feat Sam Smith

This was Sam Smith’s big feature hit before they became the successful solo artist they are now. Great track very different to the music Sam does now.

~Work Bitch - Britney Spears

Don’t roll your eyes! This is a banger, now get to work bitch!

~Rap God - Eminem

For Eminem’s big solo feature on this countdown it was between this, The Ringer or Not afraid. You may of guessed I’m a Eminem fan and have tried to keep his entries down but one does not simply do a music countdown and not include Rap God.

~Of the Night - Bastille

Really like this band they have some great hits, Pompeii is another great song of theirs that I didn’t have space to include. I went for this eerie cover version of the Corona 90’s dance classic as my pick.

~Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus (Leave me alone it’s a good song ok 😂)

~Riptide- Vance Joy

A little hidden gem I’d forgotten about until I put this list together.

~Who did that to you? - John Legend

Was going to obviously include All of me in this spot but then I remembered this absolute hit from Django unchained which sneaks in and takes the spot. Both great songs thou.

~Nobody to Love - Sigma (Great little dance track not much to add)

~ When the Party’s Over - Billy Eilish

Yes I’m a 35 year old Billy Eilish fan ok leave me alone lol. Seriously thou this girl is super talented and she’s up there in my fave artists of the decade. There will be more of her in my top 25 but this haunting track deserves a mention.

~Turn down for What - DJ Snake ft Lil Jon

It’s Lil Jon yelling really load of course it’s a banger. Also worth mentioning Ice T did a awesome Rap rock version of this song and it’s amazing!

~Problem- Ariana Grane ft Iggy Azalea

Those saxophone’s thou! Groovy little number no explanation needed.

~Chandelier- Sia

Such a power anthem, I came out as trans in 2014 so this song holds a lot of personal meaning with me but regardless is a great song anyway.

~Thinking Out Load - Ed Sheeran

I’m not the biggest Ed Sheeran fan ,take him or most often leave him ,but did like this sweet ballad. Nothing against his voice it’s his songs that don’t often do it for me but this was great.

~Good Kisser- Usher

Never been huge Usher fan ,liked his earlier stuff, confessions and all that. This was a surprise jazzy bluesy type number thou that I really enjoyed.

~Rude- Magic (A catchy sing along tune)

~Zombie - Jamie T

This guy was one of my fave artists of the 00’s, and thou his newest stuff imo doesn’t compare to his older this was still a tune.

~I - Kendrick Lemar

This is actually best when played after the song ‘U’ , the latter being a self hating song ‘loving you Is complicated’ vs I’s ‘I love myself’ different ends of the spectrum I just included ‘I’as you can enjoy that one on its own but to get the best out of that track I highly recommend listening to U first.

~See you again- Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth

A sad song given it’s a tribute to Paul Walker who died in a car accident. Was overplayed a lot at the time but stands strong several years later.

~Dark Times - The Weeked an Ed Sheeran

What a track, their voices mesh perfectly together in this somber number.

~ Trouble - Iggy Azalea ft Jennifer Hudson (Banger)

~Hotline Bling - Drake

So many Drake songs I could of included, (he will appear again in the top 25) gods plan, headlines, in my feelings, nice for what, all absolutely great tracks but I had to go for my personal fave out of the bunch.

~You don’t own me - Grace ft G-Easy

This may be an odd one to some but I’ve always loved the original by Lesley Gore and this is a amazing cover. Grace has a lovely voice (and there is a non rap version if you’re so inclined) Love a good cover version and this is a awesome cover version.

~Side to Side - Ariana Grande ft Nicki Minaj

Hmm guess I’m a Ariana Grande fan, who knew. A cheeky little number and the first appearance in this countdown of a certain fave rapper of mine.

~Panda - Desiigner (another one where there’s not much I need to add, great tune)

~Dancing on my own - Robyn OR Callum Scott

Take your pick the Robyn original or the Callum Scott cover version, both stand alone great tracks, the original more a melancholy dance track the cover a somber ballad. Both brilliant.

~Alarm - Anne-Marie

A nice little pop tune, really like her voice

~Rockabye- Clean Bandit ft Anne-Marie and Sean Paul

Speaking of Anne-Marie, another great pop track. Super catchy sing along. Sean Paul can be hit or miss for me but works well with this track.

~Human - Rag N Bone Man

This is another one there’s not much I can add this guy’s voice is amazing. Brilliant song particularly love the chains you can hear rattling throughout (reminds me of Johnny Cash’s ‘Ain’t no grave’)

~Black Beatles - Rae Stremmurd ft Gucci Mane

Yep that’s some mumble rap to add to the list (told you my music taste was varied) As a whole I don’t love mumble rap but there’s some stand out tracks including this one.

~Thunder- Imagine Dragons

One of my favourite bands from the last decade, like most there stuff. This song has a great song along chorus. Really catchy track.

~New Rules And IDGAF - Dua Lipa

Honestly couldn’t pick from the two really like them both equally. So you get a double. Catchy pop tracks.

~Sorry not Sorry - Demi Lovato

It was between this or Sober (another great Demi track) but ultimately went with the more upbeat pop number.

~Havana - Camila Cabelllo ft Young Thug (A nice chilled Latino style track.)

~Perfect - Ed Sheeran

A beautiful song by Ed Sheeran,other then ‘sing’ and the previous mentions I’m not really into his stuff but this is lovely track.

~Feel it Still - Portugal the Man

Really catchy song can’t help but tap your toes along to it.

~False Alarm- The Weekend

This was something different from the Weekend, really enjoy this song, Weekend is one of my other fave artists to come out the 2010’s.

~Sanctify — Years and years

Wasn’t keen on there earlier dance stuff but when they found there sound I really enjoyed them.

~This is America- Childish Gambino

Great as this song is you really need to watch the music video as well for the song to have its full impact. Love Childish Gambino could of put several of his songs in this list, excited for future music from this guy.

~Solo - Clean Bandit ft Demi Lovato

A cheeky little pop number you can’t help but sing along to.

~Shotgun - George Ezra

One of those artists I can’t decide if I’m into or not, like one song then not keen on the next, it’s strange, but no denying this is a great song.

~Lucid Dreams - Juice WRLD (RIP)

First off Rest in peace Juice, recently died at 21, very sad. The guy was super talented and was looking forward to his future stuff. Could of picked a few tracks but this was the first song I heard of his so that’s got to be my shout out.

~Only You - Cheat Codes ft Little Mix

Although I don’t mind Little Mix this is there only entry on my list. A nice catchy sing along with a dance beat.

~Lost Without You - Freya Ridings

This almost made it into my top 25, just couldn’t find a space for it. Haunting, melodic song with Freya’s stunning vocals. Don’t play this one after a break up or a death.

~Nothing Breaks like a heart- Mark Ronson ft Miley Cyrus

~Someone you loved - Lewis Capaldi

Think this guys going to be another Ed Sheeran for me, meh most the time with the occasional great song. This one no exception.

~Shut Down - Skepta

With lyrics like ‘Ring ring pussy, it’s shut down’ how can it not be a banger 😂 Not the best song in the world I admit but good fun.

~As we enter- Nas and Damian Marley

Words can’t express how much Iove this track, such a hidden gem. A reggae- rap blend of uplifting brilliance. Great gym playlist track.

~Better Now - Post Malone

Another artist I enjoy on occasion. This is my favourite of Malone’s songs so far.

~Bad at Love - Halsey (another great pop track)

~Bitch Don’t kill my vibe- Kendrick Lamar

Could of picked a number of Kendrick tracks King Kunta, DNA, M.a.a.a.d City, If these walls could talk, just to name a few but I’ll go with the first Kendrick track I heard and loved.

~Heartbeat - Childish Gambino

So gutted I couldn’t find a spot for this banger in my 25 but I had to include it on its own. Unless you’re a CG fan it’s unlikely you’ve heard it. Highly recommended a listen. I can’t even really describe it.

~No role Models- J. Cole

A anthem with a similar feel to Keep your head up by 2pac, a sad song somewhat but with a more upbeat tempo. My personal fave J. Cole song.

~Power - Kanye West

Wow our first Kanye track. I like Kanye ,prefer his older stuff. My dark twisted fantasy was the last album of his I really liked. This was a absolute monster of a tune. Also really liked the song Runaway from the same album. Both have great intros.

~Antidote- Travis Scott

~ No Sleep- Wiz Khalifa

Super catchy song, very anthem sounding.

~Young, Wild and Free - Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa and Bruno Mars

Another catchy tune, powerhouse of a team up.

~Rack City - Tyga

~ Romans Revenge- Nicki Minaj ft Eminem

Absolute banger double up from the king and queen of rap. Also a version she did with Lil Wayne which was very good but the Eminem version wins for me. Also will take the opportunity to give the Lil Wayne and Nicki song ‘knockout’ a shoutout.

~Blazin’- Nicki Minaj ft Kanye west

Another great Nicki Minaj track of the brilliant Pink Friday album. I know some of her more recent stuff hasn’t been great but she came out the gates strong in 2010.

~Pound The Alarm - Nicki Minaj

Last Nicki Minaj track I promise, could of picked this or starships as love them both equally.

~Trap Queen- Fetty Wap

Can’t lie this is something I never thought I’d like but the more I heard it the more I liked it.

~Ultimate- Denzel Curry

Yes the Vine meme song. Banger.

~Bad and Boujee - Migos

Yes more mumble rap, I’m not even sorry

~I’m not racist - Joyner Lucas

Wow maybe the most powerful song on this whole list. Nothing I explain can do it justice you have to give it a listen yourself (with the video)

~Cry Little Sister - Marilyn Manson

Boom, rap to rock just like that. I love Marilyn Manson covers, in the 00’s it was Tainted Love but this time around its this classic from The Lost Boys soundtrack. Creepy song but kinda perfect for Manson.

~Faster- Within Temptation

~End of Time - Beyoncé

Have to include some Beyoncé before this ends it’s the law. This was my favourite of hers.

~ Rumour has it - Adele

Not the biggest Adele fan but she has a few songs I enjoy, set fire to the rain and someone like you also good songs.

~Ugly Boy - Die Anwoord

Yep he’s a Die Antwoord fan 😆 I have no excuses, DA are one of my fave bands. Zef to death.

- Surf - Tommy Cash

Absolutely stupid lyrics but hilarious (need to watch the video also) it’s actually a good song with a awesome beat.

~Bang Bang Bang - Big Bang

To close the top 100 greatest songs of the decade out , some J-pop, I’m not a expert on Jpop I like a couple of artists and a few songs but had to close out with this... bang bang banger!

So here we go top 25 of my absolute faves from the 2010’s. (in no particular order)

~Radioactive- Image Dragons

This song featured in a Assassins creed game trailer (I forget which game) and I searched for it straight away, found it, fell in love, the rest is history. Great beat and vocals.

~Game Over - Tinchy Stryder, Tinie Tempah, Professor Green, Giggs, Devlin, Example, Chip

Wow with that line up it was always going to be a banger. This might be my fave beat ever! Such a tune featuring Rap and grime mvp’s from the UK.

~Gods and Monsters- Lana Del Ray

I know I said in no order but this might be my very favourite song from the last ten years. It’s not even regarded as Lana’s best but I just love everything about it, lyrics, melody and vocals. Perfect song.

~Born to Die - Lana Del Ray

Another melodic masterpiece from Lana Del Ray.

~Bad Girls - M.I.A

Yeah I’m a dude it’s weird this song gets me pumped seriously thou such a catchy song.

~In Paris - Kanye West and Jay -Z

Not much needs to be said, absolute classic.

~Over - Drake

Drake at his best imo, great beat, delivery and lyrics. My fave Drake song.

~Black Skin Head - Kanye West

Powerful song with a amazing beat, powerful lyrics, great gym song to get you pumped.

~Sail - AWOL Nation

You might have guessed by now I like a catchy sing along song with a pumping beat and somber tone. Check.

~Only love can hurt like this - Paloma Faith

Her voice in this is something else. I said it before Paloma Faith is so underrated.

~Bang Bang - Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj

Not to be mistaken for Bang bang bang by big bang featured earlier. Great pop hit.

~Take me to church- Hozier

Powerful song and video.

~Humble- Kendrick Lemar

Banger, not much else I can say.

~Uptown Funk — Bruno Mars

Can’t go wrong with this one, great hit.

~Can’t feel my face- The Weekend

Like most of the stuff this guy brings out, this awesome hit just tops that list.

~Redbone- Childish Gambino

Ok sorry Lana Del Ray but I retract your number one spot for this one. Thought it was Macy Grey or the Delfonics singing when I first heard it then discovered who it was. This has a 70’s soul feel. It’s hard to explain ,if you’ve never heard it give it a listen I’m sure you’ll love it.

~Bad Guy - Billy Eilish

Such a catchy tune, the song that introduced me to her music. Great little dance/pop hit. Fun and a bit freaky. Duh!

~Bury a Friend- Billy Eilish

The way Billy Eilish’s mind works amazes me, how she sees the lyrics, the music and video all as one package. She’s extremely talented and look forward to her taking up most the spots on my 2020’s best of list.

~I miss the misery- Halestorm

Great rock hit, has a very 80’s feel. Lead singer has a amazing voice.

~Sweet but Psycho - Ava Max

Maybe my favourite pure manufactured pop hit of the decade, any female pop star could churn this out and it would do well. Hate to love it.

~Homicide - Logic feat Eminem

If you don’t like rap you won’t get it, if you do, you know where I’m at.

~Stronger then Ever - Raleigh Ritchie

Otherwise known as Grey Worm in Game of Thrones, this guy can hold a tune. Great uplifting track.

~Speedom- Tech N9nne, Eminem

Another great Eminem feature hit. Absolute masterpiece of a record.

~I need - Maverick Sabre

Nice somber melodic song, this guys super talented.

~Cookie Thumper - Die Antwoord

The South African rap rave group strikes again, this one is pretty much a Yolande solo, the beat is insane and thou half of it is in said/sung in Africans it’s still my fave DA song.

~Monster- Kanye West, Jay Z, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, Bon Ivor

The title of this track doesn’t lie, beast of a track, arguably Nicki Minaj’s best guest verse ever (‘Where them girls at’ deserves a mention for sure) It’s in all my rap playlists, amazing song.

If you took the time to have a gander at my random countdown then I thank you, I fully expect you not to agree with everything, hopefully something you enjoy musically was mentioned I did my best to spread the genres as much as I enjoyed them. More music and other countdowns to come.

#music #billy eilish #lana del rey #the weekend #eminem #nicki minaj #childish gambino #kendrick lamar #kanye west #jay z

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seoschangbin · 4 years

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no worries! sorry for my late reply too though😭are you done with this semester now??? i hope you can have a fun break filled with nothing but rest n love!!!💞omg biochem sounds like the worst... are u done with that portion of your major tho??? and oh man i wish i was close to graduating😭i'm a third year (US usually has 4) but i think i'm gonna have to stay for an extra year so... got two more years left🚶🏻‍♀️wbu? i hope the suffering of uni is almost over for you🤗💕-🎁💫

no don’t apologize!! u can always take ur time 💖 and yes i’m done and free!! master gave rachel a gre grade rachel is FREE!!!! nd omg ur too sweet i also hope ur break is filled with rest nd love!! (love from ME) i am done with biochem thankfully!! but i truly thought i would never survive and i’m taking only fun stuff next semester hehe i’m looking forward to it! 😌 aww you’re more than halfway though you got this!! enjoy the rest of ur time i feel like it’s gone by so fast anyways so it’ll be nice to have an extra year 🥰 i’m actually graduating in april! aaah!

i hope that last final you took went well!!! n i also hope that you're enjoying some freedom now😤💞omg really? :0 way to go felix!!! gosh he gives me such bestie energy, i always wanna hype him up🥺🤲🏼voices n hellevater!!!! some of the best songs omg. i've been having skz on repeat lately and wow grow up n awaken are on constant repeat, i've fallen for those songs again!!!💞side effects choreo is a lot of fun!!! it's the best to dance along to heh. -🎁💫

still fingers crossed over the last one but nothing i can do about it now so i’ll forget about it 😞 omg me TOO felix is just so baby and sunshine.. when he smiles i’m like bro.. what do u want.. i’ll give u anything.. ur so cute.. . 😳 and me too but levanter album mjdkgj grow up makes me feel so nostalgic 😭 awaken is a banger too but the two are so different 😳and omg do you dance?? :O

ooo so miroh has somewhat of a soft spot for you as well then!!! its such a great song but i always think about how chan wanted to add an elephant sound to it hngjkfjsldk. winning 1st for levanter!!! so proud of the boys🥺🤲🏼at first i thought how cute it was of hyunjin to upload two photos then i realized it was bin...😐he doesnt wanna spoil us too much i guess😔got7 is great!!! but i def feel more at ease with skz since i'm being more chill with them!!!🙇🏻‍♀️💞-🎁💫

tbh.. maybe i should just say all titles songs have a lil soft spot in my heart 😭 omg i always forget he said that kjdgkajd chan .. what goes thru his mind! i’m so happy they got their second win before the end of the year it’s what they deserve 💖 nd truly changbin playing me like that.. ok... 😐 are you a jyp kind of person then hehe?

literally😭i wanna watch hyunjin's recent vlives but then i think do i really wanna put myself through this n fall even More for sir hwang😔finding skz!!! i watched the first episode a while back before i got drowned with uni work, so i'll have to pick it up again! woojin in that ep tho, his Power. sometimes buzzfeed does some really cute video ideas with groups so it'd be fun to see!!! and ooo monsta x i've been wanting to get into them honestly!!!💕-🎁💫

mskdgjskdg STOP SIR HWANG 😭😭 he;s so soft n endearing fr stop that sir hwang.. honestly ur right.. woojin was so powerful in that episode i need to go back and rewatch it.. not sure if ur familiar w victon but the same energy bt woojin + their leader in their running man episode nd it just sends me everytime.. skz x buzzfeed 2020 bls.. let us see it! omg i hope u get into mx!! they’re so funny and pure i love them 😞💖

binnie is taller than me but not by much so i can call him tiny, plus he just exudes and Is teeny energy🥺🥺🥺n felix's mind!!!! best binnie stan huh😌gosh i was the same too))): woojin was climbing up the bias list for me too before the News occured. we still coping😎😎😎gosh i Still need to watch the aussie line vlive, i've seen clips n it looks so funny n cute😭i was thinking if i should have you guess who my bias is but!!! i think i'll just say hehe-🎁💫

omg i know changbin is like Tinie baby energy the ep where he did the zipline thing!! baby!! felix nd changbin just have the cutest friendship i love them 😣 vibe.. we still feelin that wooj hole It’s Fine 😔omg yes the aussie line vlive was just the purest.. felix x egg... pure... pure and good!

it's changbin!!!💕so i'm also changbin biased!!! he's actually been number one for a while now... binnie not letting chan win for too long i guess😤but i say both are my ults!!! i can never choose between them🥺and yes i'm on break now!!! i don't have many plans honestly, i'm just going to relax n probably game the whole break! gotta give myself some down time before this next semester😔but i'll probably make some time to keep up with my language studies. wbu? any plans???-🎁💫

omg changbin nd chan. interestin! changbin is the cutest so changbin stans we goin through it! u 🤝 me suffering bin fans.. ooh what kind of gaming are u into! definitely bls take the break to relax and energize urself for the new semester.. only good things for us for 2020!! i’m going on vacation starting next week so i’m going to be on the beach!

#beach + me.. probably will sunburn x 1000 rip me #but i might be gone a bit next week before the reveal but im going to make u smth so im sorry if i cant post it on the day of!#🎁💫#anonymous #ask

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lady-divine-writes · 6 years

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Klaine Advent Drabble - “Performance Anxiety” (PG13)

Blaine has been keeping secrets, spending late nights up, not coming to bed, and his husband is ready to get to the bottom of things. (1815 words)

Notes: I wrote this for the Klaine Advent Drabble challenge 2017 prompt 'performance'. But it's more relevant to me now than when I started writing it.

Read on AO3.

“Blaine?” A groggy Kurt yawns as he makes his way down the dark hallway to Blaine’s studio, the light beneath the door a beacon leading him along. He’s half asleep, but it’s been a miserable sleep since his husband never came to bed, too wrapped up in something that’s been occupying his mind recently.

Something that he has yet to discuss.

When Kurt reaches the door, he pauses before knocking to listen, trying to pick up a sound that would be a clue to his husband’s strange mood and obsessive late hours over the past week.

He’d hoped to hear music - a new composition, or the fine tuning of an older song. But he hears clicking instead.

He raps on the door lightly with his knuckles, his head throbbing with the remains of a sleep hangover.

“Blaine? Honey? Can I come in?”

The rustling of papers greets him before his husband’s voice.

That could be promising.

“Uh … yeah. Come on in.”

“What are you doing up so late?” Kurt asks, opening the door in stages so the light doesn’t spear his eyes. With it open a crack, he gets his first peek at Blaine, sitting on his futon with his computer in his lap, manuscript pages stacked haphazardly beside him, their corners poking this way and that as if they were tossed there in a hurry.

“I’m just … I’m writing,” he says, absentmindedly tidying the papers with one hand and tilting his computer screen down with the other. It doesn’t seem suspicious at first because Kurt’s brain is bleeding with exhaustion, but he happens to catch the reflection of Blaine’s computer screen in the TV behind him, and his eyes fly open wide.

“No, you’re not! You’re playing Farmville!”

“No!” Blaine closes his laptop further to shield the screen from view, but he gives up quickly. He knows he’s been caught. He bows his head in shame. “Yes. Yes, I am. I’m sorry.”

“How long, Blaine?” Kurt asks, arms crossed over his chest. “How long have you been playing?”

“Since … um … since I came home.”

“Since you came … that was nine hours ago!”

“I know, I know …”

“Blaine …” Kurt covers his face with his hands, stopping himself from saying another word before he has a chance to catch his breath. This isn’t a new behavior for Blaine. It’s happened before. Blaine had become addicted to Farmville when Candy Crush got monotonous, but he only played them when anxiety got the better of him. It was his escape – an escape that occupied large pockets of Blaine’s time, and that made it a sore spot between him and Kurt.

Because Kurt wanted to be Blaine’s escape when his anxiety got bad. He wanted to be the thing Blaine ran to, that he poured his heart and his sadness and his stress into. But when they tried that, it never worked.

It stings less than Blaine’s short lived porn addiction, but it still stings.

It’s been six years, though, and during that time, Blaine even admitted he hated it. He swore he’d never go back, that he’d find a different, healthier outlet.

What could be bothering Blaine so badly that he’d break that promise to himself?

“I’m sorry,” Blaine repeats quietly, moving his computer off his lap and onto the cushion beside him. “I didn’t mean …”

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overreact. I’m just … overtired. It’s hard to sleep without you.” Kurt joins his husband on the futon, rests his head on Blaine’s shoulder. “I know this isn’t about me. It’s how you cope with stress. But remember, you’re the one who said that Farmville is the devil.”

“Facebook’s the devil,” Blaine corrects. “Farmville’s only a minion.” Kurt chuckles, but Blaine can’t. “It’s so damned satisfying. And it’s much easier to organize things here than up here,” he says, tapping his temple with his finger. “You know?”

Kurt nods, taking his husband’s hand in his while he listens to him explain.

“And every time I complete a quest or unlock something new, it feels like I’m accomplishing something. That I’m getting closer to a goal. That I’m winning. Does that make any sense?”

“It does,” Kurt admits. “But I’ve seen you on your computer every night this week. If you’ve been playing Farmville all those times …” which Blaine’s sudden fidgeting with the knee of his slacks tells Kurt he has “… it’s taking your attention away from other things. More important things. Work related things. Things you want to accomplish in real life.”

“Actually, it’s not taking me away from anything. It’s helping me avoid something. Something I haven’t told you about yet, and I’m … I’m really sorry about that, too.” Blaine slips his hand underneath the hastily stacked pile of papers and pulls out his phone. He unlocks the screen and hands it over to Kurt. Kurt stares at it, full of messages outlining the secret Blaine had been keeping for close to a week now. Kurt scrolls through them, skimming them more than reading them, which causes him to need to scroll back when he misses a few key points. But by his third read thru, he’s sure he understands, and he squeezes Blaine’s hand in excitement.

“The record label blue lighted your album release!?” Kurt looks at Blaine for confirmation. He gives it with a shrug and a bashful half-smile. “That’s wonderful!”

“No,” Blaine says, smile gone. “No, it’s not wonderful.”

“Why is it not wonderful?”

“Because they want to send me on the road to promote it!”

“As we anticipated,” Kurt says. “I already warned Isabelle that I’ll need some time off.”

“No, you don’t understand. They don’t want me to just go on a few radio shows. They want me to go back to my roots. To Starbucks and The Lima Bean! They want me to perform it live!”

“What’s wrong with that? It’ll be good practice, help you get back in the swing of things.”

“But I haven’t performed live in a small venue in ages!”

“That’s the best part! It’ll be gritty! And raw!” Kurt says, imagining his husband squeezing into the clothes he wore back in the day – tight jeans, artfully faded, ripped at the knees and under the butt; his black leather jacket; his thin, retro tank tops that showed off his bulging biceps. Why are they sitting on this futon arguing about this? Why aren’t they grabbing his guitar and leaving now!?

“What if I mess up? What if I forget the lyrics?”

“So, what if you do?”

“People will throw coffee at me!”

“Are you kidding? For the price Starbucks charges?”

“Kurt!”

“Blaine! Your fans love you! When they come to see you perform, they know what they’re getting. They’re getting you, and that’s what they want. And if you forget the lyrics, you can turn it into a thing. You can pull the old man card. Make it tongue-in-cheek. People will think it’s cute.”

“Or obnoxious.”

“That, too. But who cares!? Your fans have been waiting for you to make your comeback for too long! You’ve been shelving projects left and right for almost a decade that you should have been jumping into with both feet! You post more ads on your Instagram feed than album updates.”

Blaine flinches. “Now, that’s a little harsh …”

“Blaine, you can’t shy away from the spotlight because you don’t think you’re going to shine brightly enough! That’s juvenile thinking! That’s Blaine after high school, scared of breaking out into the world, not Blaine here and now, award winning songwriter and epic rock star, ready to burst back into the public eye! Because that’s who you are. You’re not a has been, not a quitter, and you’re definitely not a farmer!”

“I mean, have you actually seen my farm …?”

“Blaine!”

Blaine sighs, looking from the phone in Kurt’s hands to the computer by his side, and the stack of papers that represents over a dozen works in progress. Those are the real tragedy in this equation, the real addiction he needs to overcome. Every time the record label or his agent or his manager tries to convince him that his record - the one he’s been working on for longer than he’s been famous - is good enough to stand alone, he’d disagree, then return to this pile of slush and hammer away at these tired old rhythms and melodies, determined that what he had completed was nowhere near good enough. It needed something more, something he could only find here.

They’re his safety net.

They’re holding him back.

“I guess you’re right.”

“You guess I’m right?” Kurt huffs. “No, no, no. You know I’m right. So tomorrow morning, you’re going to text your record label and tell them you’re taking their offer.”

“Well, why don’t I do it now?” Blaine reaches for his phone, but Kurt keeps it out of his reach.

“Because then they’ll call you back, all excited, wanting to schedule meetings and iron out deals … and I have plans for you.”

“What plans?” Blaine watches his husband stand, tugging his hand to get him to follow.

“We’re going to go to bed and play an adult game.” We’re going to see if you still fit in those torn-up jeans … maybe tear them up a little more.

“Okay,” Blaine says. “Sounds good. Just … give me a second to clean up?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. He doesn’t like that answer. He doesn’t like any response to his offer that doesn’t include Blaine bolting off his futon and racing to their room, shedding clothing down the hall as he goes. “Alright. But don’t take too long.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Kurt heads for the door with Blaine’s phone in his hands to ensure his husband can’t call anyone. He hears the shuffling of papers as he leaves, but once he’s out in the hallway with the door mostly shut behind him, that stops. He hangs around, peeking in through the crack he left to watch what his husband is doing. There Blaine sits, staring at the door as if he can see Kurt’s eyeball peeking in. But when he thinks the coast is clear, he grabs his laptop and puts it back on his lap. The second he straightens the screen, Kurt storms back in, a move that nearly makes a startled Blaine toss his laptop across the room. “Blaine! What the---what are you doing?”

“Kurt! I just have to do this one thing …”

“Oh hell no!” Kurt snatches Blaine’s laptop and snaps the screen shut, which elicits a high-pitched yelp of distress from his husband.

“But, Kurt! My carrots! If I don’t harvest them, they’ll wither and die!”

“Something more important is going to wither and die if you don’t get your butt in our bedroom right now!”

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #klaine #frankie writes

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bangtanimagining · 6 years

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to our baby; kim namjoon

// D E S C R I P T I O N // (y/n) is a worldwide famous singer, her whole life has always be in the spotlight with paparazzi down her throat which got worse when she and her boyfriend Kim Namjoon announced they were dating, (y/n) never minded sharing her personal life with her fans and the public but sometimes things need to be kept personal; especially as something as precious as this.

a/n: ok you guys tbh this is based of off Kylie Jenner’s video to her daughter which was beautiful; i’m not a huge fan of the Kardashian’s/Jenner’s but c’mon y’all that video was so precious. i loved the concept and decided to put my own twist to it for you and namjoon, i hope you guys like it! xx

Past ( Flashback )

You sit on the bathroom floor along with your bestfriend, a pregnancy test sat atop the sink; something so basic is about to determine your future.

You hear the timer go off and you look at your bestfriend with worry in your eyes. It’s not that a baby would be inconvenience for you no not at all but this isn’t exactly the time you planned on becoming pregnant, you imagined you and Namjoon getting married first and atleast live 1 year of marriage without kids before trying for them; I mean you and Joon have talked about this but you both agreed you weren’t ready for a big responsibility like this just yet.

“(y/n) come on we have to check” your bestfriend sighs as she outstreches her hand for you to get up. She’s just as nervous for you but tries to remain calm for your own sake.

You move the piece of paper off the test and peek one eye open not even realizing you had your eyes shut: and there is it P O S I T I V E +

Your bestfriend told you not to panic, that these test were sometimes wrong and told you to take another one to be sure; well 2 turned into 4 then 4 turned into 2 more and all 9 tests said the same thing: P +

You decided to go to the hospital to make absolute sure and there your urine was tested again and was confirmed by a doctor you were indeed pregnant, now that you had an absolute assurance your brain finally accepted the truth. Granted going to the hospital in such a hurry out of your house wasn’t the smartest thing to do because paparazzi were always down your throat no matter the country you were even in, thank God you’re best friend came to visit you in Korea; you couldn’t imagine going thru this without her.

You later sat at home, your bestfriend on the couch fast asleep after a long day, you too were tired but couldn’t go to sleep; suddenly you hear your phone ring and you hurridely go into your and Joon’s room to not disturb your friends slumber. You sit on Namjoon’s bed and accept the call not even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” you say.

“YAH!(Y/N) ARE YOU OKAY?! I SAW PICTURES OF YOU WALKING INTO THE HOSPITAL AND YOU LOOKED SCARED ARE YOU FINE?!” Namjoon shouts into the phone “That’s it I’m catching the next plane home!” he says out of breath

“Namjoon! I’m okay I swear I was just scared because (y/bf’s/n) fainted earlier today and when she woke up I took her to the hospital to make sure she was okay” you lie.

“Yah!!!You scared me!” he said “ I thought my princess was hurt” he says with a sad voice.

“I’m okay Joonie I swear” you say to him

“Ok I believe you, listen I have to go back to the guys but before I go is (y/bf’s/n) okay?” he asks.

“Yeah it was because of her diet she’s on” you lie again

“Aish both of you are always going on diets when you don’t need to, don’t do that to yourselves anymore” Namjoon says

“Trust me I don’t think I’ll be going on a diet anytime soon” you say to Namjoon

You’re pretty sure he doesn’t get what your implying at all.

“Good” he mutters “Ok now I really have to go I’ll call you tomorrow morning I love you princess I’ll see you in less than a week” he replies

“I love you too babe, bye” you say as you both hangup.

A week later

Namjoon was coming back home today and you finally had a way to announce to Namjoon you were pregnant: you were so nervous for his reaction but you knew he would never walk out on you or the baby.

You had your best friend go out and buy a bunch of baby stuff like onesies, pacifiers, and little toys.You wouldn’t dare go out and buy these things because you knew paparazzi would always catch up with you and they would get a kick out of seeing you buy baby stuuf; you didn’t want any suspicion that you were pregnant. You put all the stuff in a gift bag and at the very bottom wrapped up in pink and blue wrapping paper was a box which held all 9 of your pregnancy tests and confirmation from the doctor.

Around an hour after you finished putting all the stuff in the bag you hid it in Namjoon’s room and went back to the living room waiting for the guys to come back. Just as you thought that you heard the door unlock and all the guys came in all tired but they all came up to you to hug you hello before Jin went to the kitchen to cook some food for the other members and yourself then finally Namjoon came up to hug you before not being satisfied by a single hug and decided to lift you up so you would wrap your legs around his waist; then he gave you a kiss on your lips.

“I’ve missed you so much” you told him

“This week without you was worse than that 1 time you were gone for your tour for 7 months” he says putting you down

“Rethink that” you say with a giggle.

After you and the guys ate you all stumbled into the living room to watch a movie, about 5 minutes into the movie you turned to Namjoon.

“Can we go to your room?” you ask him to which he nods, you both get up ready to head towards his room when you hear Yoongi say “Aish he hasn’t even been here for more than 2 hours and they’re already gonna go fuck” Yoongi says jokingly.

“You bet your ass we are!” Namjoon says to which you hit his arm playfully and laugh along with him.

Once you get to the room you tell Namjoon to sit on the bed.

“Oh are you taking the lead tonight?” Namjoon asks cheekly.

‘We’re not having sex babe” you say pulling out the gift from it’s hiding spot, well here goes nothing.

You hand him the bag and he hesistantly takes it.

“Well not the type of coming home gift I was expecting but thank you babe” he says as he kisses your cheek when you sit next to him.

He starts to pull away at the gift paper and he pulls out the pacifiers first and he looks at you strangely, then come the bibs and toys and then the onesies.

He looks up at you after placing the onesie next to his cheek softly.

“Baby are you pregnant” he ask with a tear going down his cheek landing on the onesie.

“Why don’t you finish opening up your gift and find out” you say with happy tears falling down your cheeks as you see him widen his eyes and frantically look thru the bag once again. There in his hands is the box covered in pink and blue wrapping paper and he tears the mini box open; there he pulls out one of your pregnancy test and looks up at you again before he notices the paper in the box aswell, he picks it up and unfolds it seeing at the top it says you are pregnant.

“So this is why you went to the doctor” he says after placing the things next to him but still keeping the onesie in his hand and then you notice his face and see all the tears coming out of his eyes.

“Yes, you’re not mad at me are you?” you ask as you stand up and ask him your number one worry.

He then stands up and drops to his knees and comes face to face with your belly softly caressing it and placing his hand on it.

“Mad??? Why would I be mad? This is the best news of my life!” he says picking you up off the ground and spins you around.

“Granted this is a little earlier than we expected but this is a blessing babe!” he says as he places you back on the ground “Now you truly can’t get rid of me” he smugly says

“We have to tell the boys!” he says

“Good thing (y/bf’s/n) talked me into getting these” you say as you pull out 6 mini bags all containing a “I’m gonna be an uncle!” shirt inside; it’s cheesy but the thought counts.

And it was actually Namjoon’s idea to film the guys reaction which led to you filming your pregnancy on Namjoon’s old camera not wanting to risk your phone being hacked into and then people seeing your pregnancy, something you don’t want to reveal until after the baby is born.

You both head to the living room with you holding the bags and Namjoon holding the paper that confirms your pregnancy.

“Well that was quick, that’s pretty sad Joonie” Yoongi says as you guys walk back into the living room which earns him a smack to the head by Jin.

“Actually we come bearing gifts” you announce to which the guys are surprised by.

Thankfully you distracted the guys enough for them to not see Namjoon hide the camera.

You each hand a member a bag and see them excitedly open the bag especially Jungkook.

They all pull out the shirt at the same time and as soon as they read the shirt they were all shocked.

“Are you kidding?!” says Jimin as he starts bouncing up and down.

“Oh my gosh!!!: Hoseok screams.

“Wow I guess you aren’t just shooting blanks there Namjoon” Yoongi says.

“Way to ruin the moment Hyung” Jungkook says.

Gosh they’re gonna be such great uncles.

Present Day

That was 9 months ago, gosh how time goes by so fast.

You completely left the public eye once you found out you were pregnant, you wanted this to be a stress free pregnancy. You stopped going to talkshows and doing interviews and stopped making your album which you were in the process of making off putting it on hold for now, you even overstayed your visit to Korea and never went back home to America, you and Namjoon agreed the baby was going to be born here to which his mother and family were delighted about. After not being in the public eye and completely dissaperaing everybody started getting suspicious wondering if you were pregnant or something, hell even interviewers would ask your close famous friends what happened to you and if you were actually pregnant liked the rumors suggested to which they quickly changed the topic off.

Obviously only you and Namjoon’s family and both of your close friend’s only knew.

You and Namjoon agreed on recording your pregnancy on his camera, he said it gave off a vintage vibe to it also he didn’t wanna risk his phone also being hacked and leaking his baby out to the public.

And that’s how it went for the rest of your pregnancy, all of it being filmed on his camera, all the docotor’s appointments to your first when you found out you were already a month along when you found out, to the first time you guys and yours and Namjoon’s mom heard your angels heartbeat to finding out the sex of the baby.

Your favorite parts to film for your pregnancy journey was when you would see and feel your baby kicking and you could see their tiny feet across your stomach as they moved around, you also loved doing weekly updates and giving a brief description of how the week has been for you and the baby. Namjoon’s favorite parts to see you record is when you would just film your belly growing as the weeks approached and you were getting bigger and bigger, he loved to pose with you infront of the mirror as you were showing off your belly as he would come up behind you and hug you from behind and place his hands on your belly creating a heart with his hands.

He even filmed himself driving to fast food restaurant’s in the middle of the night because you had a sudden craving which he always aimed to fulfill, you joining him on the late night drives sometimes.

You stopped using all social media for the time being because of seeing so many ridiculous rumors about you dissapearing.

Then came the 1 of the happiest parts of your pregnancy; your baby shower.

It was in a huge beautiful banquet hall, the guys helped set up and it was so gorgeous.

And of course Namjoon filmed everything eventually taking a break and letting someone else film.

Everybody had so much fun and especially you and Namjoon when you were finally able to open up all the baby’s gifts, it was quite possible the baby had more clothes now than you and Namjoon combined!

The nursery was built in your and Namjoon’s room as Tae agreed he would move in with Jungkook so you guys could have your privacy. You didn’t want to move from the dorms just yet, it was in your future but not now, plus the guys refused to even let both of you think about moving out.

You were so glad Namjoon flew out your whole family to be able to be here the last month of your pregnancy, you couldn’t imagine your family not being with you for this special moment, heck Namjoon even flew out (y/bf’s/n)!, thank God she could leave University for awhile to be with you.

Then came the night, you were almost 2 weeks late and itching to give birth by now. You and Namjoon settled into bed and around 1 am you started to feel a sharp pain in your stomach as you removed Namjoon’s arm from around your waist to sit up while he didn’t even flinch and resumed his sleep by turning over unaffected, you thought it was just braxton hicks but when you started groaning a little louder Taehyung woke up alerted as he was instantly at your side.

“Noona, are you okay?” he asked while helping you stand up and that’s when your water broke.

“Holy shit Hyung wake up!” Taehyung said as he threw the closest thing he could grab without letting go of your hand. The notebook hit him precisely in the face and he woke up startled.

“Huh?! What’s wrong?!?!” Namjoon asked as he quickly sat up with crazy bed head, it didn’t take him long to realize what was happening when he saw your face and pain and you shorts soaked with liquid.

“Oh my gosh! My baby is coming!” he said as he quickly got up to help you.

“Ok! Tae you wake up the members and ask them if they want to go to the hospital, me and (y/n) are leaving NOW” he tells Tae to which he obliges by.

Namjoon quickly helps you put on a new pair of sweatpants and grabs the hospital bag you prepared to use since 2 weeks ago.

You both make it into the car and Namjoon places the camera on the dashboard hitting the record button.

“Hey my precious angel! It’s your eomma and appa!” he says to the camera.”It looks like you’ve finally decided to meet us!” Namjoon smiles into the camera.

“Drive NOW” he hears you say and when he turns to look at you he sees the really scary death glare you’re giving him and he quickly turns the car on and starts driving.

He tells the car to call his mother and he tells her you’re in labor and she instantly screams of joy that her grandchild is on it’s way. He asks her if she can pick up your family on the way to the hospital and she agrees hanging up, then Namjoon calls your family to tell them that you’re in labor and to wait for his mother to pick them up then he hangs up.

You both finally reach the hospital, it felt like hours that you were driving.

The nurses quickly wheeled you towards Maternity and got you in your hospital gown.

You were only 5 centimeters dialeted when you reached the hospital and got situated in your room.

Joonie placed the camera on one of the shelves in the room and kept filming this whole expierence.

About 30 minutes after your came, your room was packed with your family and bestfriend along with Joon’s family and the members of course.

Then came the real show when you were dialeted to 8 centimeters and were almost ready to give birth, thank the heavens you decided to take an epidural.

They asked you who would you like in the delivery room and you couldn’t imagine both yours and Joon’s mom and his sister along with your cousin and bestfriend not being in there with you.

Namjoon got the camera from the shelf and started filming you when they started kicking evryone out of the room except for the people you said could stay.

At around 3:55 am you were fully dialated and ready to push.

Namjoon started filming you along with the people in the room but when he filmed you it was nothing below the waist like you requested.

Intensity was filled in the room as you did your final pushes, you wouldn’t let yourself scream out loud instead shutting your eyes tight while you pushed and holding onto Namjoon’s free hand.

“Ok hold that push until the count of 10″ one of the nurses instructed you.

“5,6,7,8,9 andddddddddd 10, good job sweetheart” another nurse told you. “Ok 2 more pushes and your baby is here!” the doctor announced.

“I can’t do this anymore babe” you told him with tears in your eyes. He felt so bad he couldn’t take your pain away as he saw your tired face mixed with pain, he put the camera to the side table and grabben your one hand with both of his as your mom went to hold your other hand and his mom wiped away your sweat on your forehead.

“You heard the doctor princess” he said as he bent down a little so you could hear him better. “Just 2 more pushes babe! Then our baby that we created will be with us here, I know you can do it” he reassured you.

Believe everything when in reality Namjoon was nervous as heck but he couldn’t show that to you, he had to be calm and encouraging for your own sake and his too.

This gave you some confidence as you pushed again, then came your final push; you squeezed your eyes shut as you started crying a little harder than before, the nurse couldn’t even reach to 10 as your baby came out at the count of 9 while you pushed.

It all happened in slow motion for the both of you as you heard your bestfriend say she could see the head and then you heard the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard; it was your baby crying, your and Joon’s baby.

“The baby was born on May 1st of 2018 at 4:08 am weighing” she said as the nurses put the baby on the scale “7 pounds and 8 oz, 10 fingers and 10 toes!” the doctor announced.

“You both have a beautiful healthy babygirl!” the doctor announced while one of the nurse handed you your babygirl after cleaning her.

You could hear the happy cries of the women in the room.

Namjoon helped you pull down your gown so they baby could latch onto your nipple to feed her and to start skinship and she latched onto your nipple with no problem.

The new grandma’s and auntie’s left the room to give the new family some privacy and to announce to everyone else the baby was born.

Everyone was so happy and came to see you little by little as they gave their congratulations and left to go home. The members came in last to see the baby before they also bid their farewell and promised to come back tommorow morning.

The only people who stayed overnight were his and your parents.

Namjoon filmed you feeding you daughter while you looked at her fondly makiing sure to get some shots with her face covered up so you could only see her hand wrapped around one of your fingers in the angle he was recording.

“Do you have a name for the baby?” one of the nurses asked you when she cam to check up on you.

“Hye-Jin” you say as you smile down at her. This was the one name you and Namjoon both had on your list of baby names.

You wanted to keep it traditional plus his mom loved the name so you couldn’t really say no to her.

Later on it was Namjoon’s turn to finally hold Hye-Jin, he sat next to you as he took of his shirt so he and his daughter could start skinship then you passed her to him.

Namjoon couldn’t believe he hepled create this precious life, his daughter was his whole world now along with you.

After 3 days in the hospital you and Namjoon left with Hye-Jin, you were assured by the hospital that no paparazzi was outside and asked if you were sure if you wanted to leave because you could stay for the recovery part of your birth in a facility they had in the hospital for new mothers but you assured them you were ok and the 3 of you left ready to start your new lives as a family together.

4 days later…

Life with a newborn was how you expected it to be and so much more but you wouldn’t replace it for anything.

Namjoon finished editing the video of your birth journey; you both agreed with what was to be shared to the world and what was to be kept for the two of you. You already made a statement for your social media that explained why you kept your pregnancy a secret; all you had to do was hit post.

Once both of you were satisfied with the video, you posted it to your YouTube channel and titled it; “To our Daughter”.

The video and statement were only up for 5 minutes before your phone started blowing up aswell as BTS’ twitter page where Namjoon posted a snipet along with the link to the video.

You got a text from your manager saying everyone wants to interview you now to talk about the news but of course you wouldn’t at this time, that video was what you felt like you could show your fans aswell as Namjoon’s fans in the moment; nothing else.

You turned off your notifications and so did Namjoon as you both watched your daughter sleep peacefully enjoying the peace you feel with your family.

You, Namjoon and Hye-Jin, that’s all you would ever need for now, that is until you and Namjoon decided to give Hye-Jin a sibling but you’ll both think about that later.

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trafficandtransit-blog · 3 years

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still.

i can pinpoint moments in our ~relationship’s~ development with certain songs

I Want To Know Your Plans by Say Anything (his skype status from 2011 was “and if they raise that landing gear, will your heart stay here?” i interpreted it as him coming clean about his true identity) our song. saw it performed live and had our like second kiss during the performance. i covered it multiple times to try to impress him. recently he told me he doesn’t like/understand covers. he likes mine to a degree, though.

Under Control by Parachute - college. early college. working in the offices above N Wing as a student worker. got immersed in parachute’s entire discography that year but this song really resonates even still; grasping to normalcy while attempting to get close to people I want to love in a romantic way, but barricaded in my own isolated space where I play whack-a-mole with the fact that I love him more than anyone.

Hurricane by Parachute is my 2012 iheart internship commute song. got to meet them during this record release too. But yeah, reaffirms how useless it is to try to cut him out; he will never leave. if i cut him out he becomes a death i mourn just as hard as a love I can indulge in if I don’t.

Sleepwalking - Cover by This Wild Life. he suggested this to me (fun fact, I ran into this duo when i worked one of my last iheart shifts at TLA for dashboard.) time stands still every time we exchange some type of glance I can interpret as meaningful. Every time.

Everything by MUNA - my time working for mediastar aka my cigarette job. this song and winterbreak are on par with each other, but this one specifically still makes me cry. pretty sure it’s the song that got suggested to me thru spotify when I found MUNA in the first place. crying on the bathroom floor is also fitting.

Never Not - LAUV - to and from my 2018 trip to see him. the one i documented on Billiejoesteeth the instagram lol. cheated on greg w him twice i guess. i will literally always go see him no matter who I am with. my selfishness reminds me I still need to feel, still need to have reciprocated love. but refer back to hurricane by parachute for why I can’t just ditch the fruitless love of my life.

All The Fucking Time by Loote - Halloween 2020 and Thanksgiving 2020. He and I dressed up to go to Linda’s disco party, then changed into waynes world costumes to go to Andy’s afterwards. I blasted this song and screamed along with the lyrics on multiple highways, including the following month when he brought me to his family’s thanksgiving out of pity for when I wasn’t speaking to my mother (lmao we made up and now not talking again so may go there again this year.)

Any song from Excommunication by Tyler Glenn; I rode in my ‘95 Geo Prizm to the camper on the Virginia/West Virginia border with Ryan’s portable speaker perched on the dash, blasting the entire album on repeat. Cried the whole way home listening to the same record.

there are more but i’m about to go to bed.

#words #self #him

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newagesispage · 3 years

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AUGUST 2021

THE RIB PAGE

Fran Drescher is running for National SAG-AFTRA President with Anthony Rapp as secretary treasurer for Unite for Strength!!! Matthew Modine is running under Membership first with Joely Fisher for Secretary Treasurer. Running in local elections are, among others, Yvette Nicole Brown, Shari Belafonte, Rosie O’Donnell, Jeff Garlin, Ezra Knight, Dule Hill, Camryn Manheim, Sara Rue, Mindy Cohn and Ever Carradine. Sept. 2 is the day!** Frances Fisher filed a suit against SAG-AFTRA over the health care plan but a judge rejected it.

*****

Sha’Carri Richardson’s problem is all our problem. No more drug testing for Mary Jane in this country!

*****

Chuck Schumer finally unveiled the Cannabis administration opportunity act to end Federal prohibition of marijuana.

*****

Dolly Parton used the $10 mil + in royalties from the Whitney Houston version of her song to invest in a black neighborhood in Nashville.

*****

Bob Balaban and Henry Winkler play brothers in The French Dispatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait for October 22!!!!!!!!!!!!** The next Wes Anderson film will star Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Adrien Brody and Tom Hanks. No other details are out there yet.

*****

Trees save lives in heat waves.

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TBS will bring us n updated Stupid Pet Tricks with Sarah Silverman.

*****

So much organized religion is based on forgeries, fakes and plundering. Virtually none of it is based on any sort of truth, spiritual or even historical. Just lies to fulfill an agenda and control the masses. And so far it has worked. –Larry Charles

*****

Scarlett Johansen has sued Disney cuz her contract guaranteed a theatrical release only.

*****

An expert on the circus industry recently reached out to me and urged me to not compare Trump and his comeback tour to clowns and the circus, as that is an insult to clowns. –Jim Acosta

*****

Eric Adams has won the Dem primary for Mayor in NY.

*****

Have you seen High on the Hog?? It’s awesome!!

*****

Jeff Flake will be ambassador to Turkey.

*****

Cornell West resigned from Harvard with a scathing letter accusing the school of “intellectual and spirited bankruptcy of deep depths.”

*****

Biden gave a hell of a speech in Philly. He needed to go on more about the filibuster but he was passionate about the For the People act and the John Lewis voting rights advancement act. He roared, “Peddlers of lies are threatening the very foundation of our country.”

*****

Will Celebrity Dating Game continue? I am sure they think romance expert, Michael Bolton is a cute and quirky thing to do but not so much. If it stays, I hope they change the music, at least those final notes. And why are half of the questions, “Who am I?” The show could be cute but they need a little work!!

*****

Jeff Bezos donated $200 mil to the Smithsonian air and space museum.**Feminists everywhere winced when Gayle King was interviewing the Bezos space team. Bezos commented about the 18 year old going with them into space and that he was just worried about the prom at 18. Gayle said “And I was just hoping for a date to the prom.”** But we have to love Wally Funk, the oldest woman to go into space.**Bezos thanked the Amazon employees and customers for paying for his trip. Yikes!** Saw a great sign: Pay fair taxes, end hunger, help people, end poverty, save Earth or fly to space.

*****

Antonio Banderas and Harrison Ford will star in Indiana Jones 5.

*****

Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ashes were laid to rest 5 years after her death.

*****

The Britney conservatorship mess is still going thru the courts, and now topless?

*****

Pope Francis underwent colon surgery which caused him to comment on the need for good health care for all.

*****

Questlove brings us Summer of Soul!!!

*****

Reports show that about 150 people were killed by guns in more than 400 shootings during the 4th.

*****

Has anybody ever built a show around the Tex Watson tapes?? The LAPD apparently liked to deny them but there was a book.

*****

Henry Hall is out with his debut album, Neato, along with a tour.

*****

Do all male law enforcement officers have to be bald now?

*****

Idaho has begun an eradication campaign that could slash the number of gray wolves living in the state by 90%.

*****

Hooray for the monthly child tax credit!!

*****

Release Me 2 from Barbra Streisand is due out August 6.

*****

The look into the Jan. 6 insurrection has begun. Kinzinger and Cheney are in. **Tucker Carlson attacked Harry Dunn, a Capitol officer on air. The man protected Carlson’s son, a House staffer.** On Jan. 5, the Steve Bannon podcast went like this: All Hell is going to break loose tomorrow. Just understand this. It’s gonna be moving. It’s gonna be quick.** Why is mainstream media putting nearly all eggs in the Covid and Olympic baskets and only a few on the insurrection hearing?

*****

Why do so many that call America , “great” seem to hate it?? How can one love this country and not want majority rule, not want democracy??

*****

The Emmy noms are out: Lovecraft Country was nominated even though it has been cancelled. Also hooray for Pose, The Flight attendant and for Conan!! Lead actor is a tough category with Matthew Rhys, Billy Porter and Rege-Jean Page. Aidy Bryant and Jean Smart got lead and supporting noms. I have to route for Ewan McGregor and Anya Taylor-Joy. I am excited for Paul Reiser, Bowen Yang, Evan Peters, Carl Weathers, Renee Elise Golsberry, Dave Chappelle, Helena Bonham Carter and Daniel Levy. There is love for Yvette Nicole Brown, Issa Rae and Maya Rudolph. The Masked Singer got a few noms. The doc category included Tina, Allen V. Farrow and The Bee Gees. Friends: The reunion got 4.

*****

“Voting is not supposed to be easy. That’s what our men died for.”- Jack Finger

*****

Giant Pandas are no longer endangered.

*****

Zalia Avante- Garde is the 93rd Scripps National Spelling Bee Champ.** I’m more impressed by the girl who won the Spelling Bee than the billionaire who went to space. –Mike Jollett.

*****

Why do they have to run erectile dysfunction ads during true crime rape episodes? ** And why do people still say things like, “this just don’t happen here” or “dumped like a piece of trash? “ There have to be other things to say.

*****

Tom Barrack, chairman of the inaugural committee for Trump was arrested for foreign lobbying shenanigans. America first, right?** Wilbur Ross lied to congress about the census and the Trump administration declined to prosecute.** Stephen Calk, bank exec was found guilty of trying to get a WH position by giving Manafort millions in loans.

*****

Jake Ellzey won the Texas special election run off for congress, beating out Trump’s girl Susan Wright.

*****

Every city should have a Peacemobile!!!!!

*****

The Chinese government has been called out for malicious cyber -attacks. Four officials have been indicted in California.

*****

Miracle Workers’ Simon Rich was there when FB was invented and was so creeped out by people using it to stalk women.

*****

There was a story in Rolling Stone about how Eric Clapton threatened to cancel shows if the venue required proof of vaccines. Valerie Bertinelli tweeted: Once a dick, always a dick.

*****

Every Fox news host is vaccinated. –Mikel Jollett

*****

Toyota has dropped out of Olympic ads. Contenders are starting to drop out due to positive Covid tests.

*****

Actor Isaiah Stokes has been indicted for murder.

*****

Lionsgate has bought the rights to Clerks 3.

*****

Ready or not, here come the Olympics.- Harry Shearer

*****

The Cleveland Indians will now be the Cleveland Guardians.

*****

A bust of KKK leader Nathan Bedford Forrest was taken out of the Tennessee capitol.

*****

American Housewife was sold into syndication.

*****

The poorest zip codes include Erie, Pennsylvania, Decatur and the south end of Peoria, il, Canton, Oh, Waterbury, Ct., Bonsecour, Al. and Elpaso, Tx.

*****

Issa Rae married Louis Diame.

*****

The court of appeals disqualified Judge John W. Ouderkirk from the Jolie- Pitt divorce because of a business relationship with Pitt’s attorney.

*****

Joe Manchin owns a coal company.

*****

The Hollywood walk of fame has welcomed Jimmy Smits, Kathie Lee Gifford and 90 year old Marla Gibbs. Terry Crews is next!

*****

Generation after generation of women love the bad boy. Do they never learn? I will never understand, please explain.

*****

Pelosi rejected 2 of the noms to serve on the special committee looking into Jan. 6. Kevin McCarthy withdrew his 5 noms.

*****

The gun that killed Billy the Kid is for sale.

*****

I think you should leave with Tim Robinson on Netflix is hilarious if U get thru the gross. U can’t miss the episode with Clifton Davis and Fred Willard!!

*****

Joaquin Phoenix is trying to get some bears from a traveling show moved to an accredited sanctuary. The Bearadise Ranch in Florida has been cited for, “violating state wildlife laws.”

*****

Go employees Go!! Frito Lay is on strike, Coal miners are on strike and Ride Share drivers are on strike. A good portion of this country should be on strike. The top of the corporate ladder needs to learn! Let those that treat us fair rise to the top.

*****

Who owns Brett Kavanaugh?

*****

A Bishop seeking to deny Biden communion was caught on Grindr.

*****

Gabriel Jagger married Anouk Winzenried.** I don’t know why the Rolling Stones bass player doesn’t just change his name to “not pictured.” –Michael Mckean

*****

Frank Fritz will not be back on American Pickers.

*****

For the first time, astronomers have seen behind a black hole. Einstein predicted the gravitational pull of black holes is so enormous that they warp the very fabric of space. He was right. Scientists have now spotted light which was being emitted by the far side of the black hole.

*****

Look for Heels on Starz.

*****

What is this new screen for Amazon? It sucks.

*****

Biden has signed an executive order to protect infrastructure from cyber- attacks.

*****

Arthur was canceled.

*****

The Kennedy Center has revealed the latest honorees. The 44th class is Justin Diaz, Berry Gordy, Lorne Michaels, Bette Midler and Joni Mitchell and will be held on Dec. 5.

*****

Get well Bob Odenkirk!!!! The fabulous Odenkirk collapsed on the set of Better call Saul from a minor heart attack.

*****

Days alert: We have lost Days of Our Lives first director, Joseph Behar. He will be missed.** Marla Ginns is joining the cast as Paulina’s Mother. ** Is EJ throwing Sami out? Will AJ McLean join the cast? **Rex is back.**Peacock is bringing us a limited series, Days of our Lives: Beyond Salem that will send many couples on romantic vacations and lead to intrigue. Lisa Rinna will star.** Arianna Zucker (Nicole) is set to marry Shawn Christian (former Daniel). He popped the question on Father’s Day.

*****

R.I.P. President Jovenel Moise, Philece Sampler, Robert Downey Sr., Richard Donner, flood victims of Belgium and Germany, Robby Steinhardt, Covid victims, Joseph Behar, Robert Moses, Jackie Mason, Dusty Hill, joey Jordison, Priscilla McMillan, Ron Popeil, Carl Levin, Saginaw Grant and Charles Robinson.

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