ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.
another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!
farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.
but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.
but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.
but the important thing is this.
farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.
farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.
the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.
as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.
but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.
and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.
to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).
to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.
and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?
but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.
the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.
so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.
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In my opinion, the reason the reunion scene was skipped was because the author couldn’t figure out a way to write it non-romantically and gave up after a while
honestly. i kinda agree with you nonnie.
it just. the set up to the scene is sooooo romantic. you have lloyd being absolutely devastated at the thought he's not going to see any of his loved ones ever again and that he's been dropped back into his terrible life, to the place he admitted he'd rather die than go back to,,, and then someone knocks at the door and when he opens it this is the sight that greets him:
his best friend, the person he's closest to, the one he's spent years with, the one he promised a peaceful life at his side, the one he wanted to grow old with, the one he sacrificed everything for, the one he effectively gave his life to save, the one he thought he'd never see again, standing at his door, having crossed literal dimensional barriers to get to him, a soft and teary smile on his face as he tells him "i missed you"
like. c'mon.
i'm all for platonic interpretations, i'm aroace, i love me a good best friendship as much as the next guy, but,,,, isn't this,,, like,,, really fucking romantic??? extremely so??? am i??? reading too much into it?? because it feels really, really romantic to me.
and like you say. where do you go from there. what response could lloyd give that doesn't involve throwing himself at javier and clinging to him with all of his strength. what conversation could these two have that doesn't involve them seeing how truly devoted they are to each other. what resolution does their arc together have that isn't them spending the rest of their lives together, at each other's side, like they so dearly wanted to.
but. alas. that wasn't the story bk moon wanted to tell. and that's very much his right. i just think that if he didn't want me to assume there's no in-character and narratively satisfying version of that conversation that doesn't end with them kissing he should've at least tried to give us something. and not completely skipped it lol
but that's just my opinion too :]
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TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME .ᐟ
✩ — childe had always told you he liked you, but you never took his words seriously and dismissed them as his antics. however, after seven years of pining, can he prove to you that he's actually serious about his feelings? (or in which childe wants you to have a chance with him.)
✩ — childe x gn!reader. best friends to lovers trope. fluff, and uhm angst if u squint. no cws. wc: 784. reblogs and feedback are appreciated !!
✩ — zhongli was mentioned for no reason at all tbh. reader isn't oblivious btw it's more like indenial i think idk theyre complicated lol but yea you'll get it once u read it,, a proper drabble for this ramble i did back then :]
childe had told you numerous times that he had liked you for as long as you had known him. he always slips it into the conversation, even if it's completely off-topic. if you could get a penny every time childe says he likes you, then you'd be pretty rich right now.
it's not that you doubted his words (well, okay, maybe you do have a bit of doubt); it's more like you always thought that it was just another one of his antics. though you don't actually know if he's serious with what he says on this matter, you just dismiss it as childe teasing once again.
you and childe had this thing on fridays where you’d watch movies together. it’s a new movie every week unless you both agree to rewatch something. and while sitting on his couch, it isn’t any different. childe has said that he likes you about two times now, both with that cheeky grin he usually wears when he's teasing you.
(you wondered about it at some point—what if it's all true? maybe the reason he confesses in this way is to make it less awkward, and he could take it back if he ever gets rejected? you wouldn't really know, not when you can't keep count of the "i like you"s that childe has told you the whole time you have known him.
but one question always stuck in the back of your mind: who are you to childe? or rather—who is childe to you?
if you were to ask that of someone else, they’d say that you’re his best friend—the most obvious answer. you two have been inseparable ever since you met. however, the term best friend for him didn’t sit well with you.)
the movie was paused due to your quick bathroom break, and as you were going back, you were telling childe about the time zhongli forgot his wallet while you two were out buying materials for your project. but by the time you sat back down, childe looked troubled—agitated, even.
you called his name once or twice, yet there was no response. it wasn’t until you snapped your fingers in front of childe’s face that he snapped out of his thoughts.
"hey, you look pretty bothered; should we ditch the movie for this week?" you asked him.
but he didn’t answer; instead, he asked, "i know this is sudden, but... did you at least believe me once?"
you were speechless. what did he mean by that? surely he isn’t referring to that, right? (even if you wanted to not believe it, deep inside you knew what he was talking about.) you knew this would be a topic between the two of you sooner or later, but you didn’t expect to have this conversation now, of all times.
however, if you were to answer yes, you did believe it. you did, you did, you did—you believed all of it.
despite your lack of response, childe continued on. "i guess you didn't. i mean, it's okay. i guess my confessions didn't really seem sincere to you which is understandable."
"childe." you called.
"i mean, who would actually believe a guy who randomly confesses in the middle of a conversation? and the fact that i did it countless times? god, why did i do that? i'm stupid, aren’t i?"
"childe."
"i'm sorry, i really should've been more sincere at least once—"
"childe!" he shuts up immediately.
before you could actually say anything else, childe spoke up again.
"i love you."
in the seven years that he has loved you, childe has never felt this impatient. he never felt this suffocated from all the feelings he kept for you this whole time.
he expected the silence you gave him again, but his chest felt lighter now that he managed to say those three words. although the silence stings and now there’s a tense atmosphere between you both, childe has never felt any better.
on the other hand, you were still processing it all. you were asking yourself again: who is childe to you? he’s your best friend, of course. you love him—
oh.
oh.
you love him. you love childe, and he loves you. but it was no ordinary love between friends; it was a love that was more than friends could ever share. and it all came crashing to you that, truly, a universe without childe by your side would be mundane.
"i love you too," you finally replied.
"take a chance with me?"
a small nod is all what childe needs as a sign to kiss you.
there’s really no one else in the world with whom you’d rather fall in love except for him.
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