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#getting their appearances as accurate as possible for a little project of mine
qwerzet · 2 years
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biblically accurate waylon park (buzzfeed unsolved reject host included in package)
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house-of-lovin · 1 year
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legally binded
Jenna Ortega x F!Reader
masterlist | next part
Summary: After getting caught in some hot waters with the press, you are forced into an unexpected agreement with America's sweetheart, Jenna Ortega to save your career.
Warnings/Tags: famous!reader, mentions of hard substances, intoxication, mature language, real people (do not read if any of these makes you uncomfortable)
Note: Wrote a quick one, I don't usually write about real people so (this is all fiction, don't take it seriously) Can you tell I'm procrastinating on my other WIPs.
Word Count: 2.1k+
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“Blacking out at a strip club in Vegas, are you fucking serious?”
Jake, your manager’s voice thunders around the office. 
You sink lower into the armchair, casting your eyes down – ashamed. From your peripheral, you can see Jake pacing up and down behind his desk and yanking at his tie; roughing up his usually neat-suited appearance. 
“Is it bad?” You gather the courage to ask.
There was a lot of shit that Jake lets you get away with. He’s known since you were a young teen with starry-eyed dreams. Except, your dreams did come true. You were living it, working with respected directors and actors on prestigious sets and projects; it was a shot in the dark that you would ever become a working actor much less a critically-acclaimed one but Jake took a chance on you.
But no one had warned you just how much you had to give up in order to keep succeeding at your dream. Work breeds more work, is that what they say?
Well if that’s the case, it certainly felt like it. Since your first big break, you haven’t stopped working. Seemingly flying to every crevice of the Earth to show face at yet another event they had scheduled on your calendar. 
You could barely name the day of the week.
Being in your teens in the public eye was not easy and it hasn’t gotten any easier as you entered your 20s. So they can sue you for trying to have some fun for once in your life. Granted, you may have gone overboard with it… that much you can own up to.
“Is it bad?” He scoffs, reiterating your question in a mocking tone and if it were anyone else you wouldn’t have been able to stave off your annoyance. “Try the end of times… you got locked up in jail. For possession of coke. You can imagine the headlines.”
You wince, clamping your eyes shut. Yeah, that is bad. “It wasn’t mine! It was–”
“Oh, I know whose it was!” Abruptly stopping, he swipes a finger in your direction shutting you up. “You and your little boy-toy can say goodbye to each other ‘til Liv and I fix this goddamn mess.”
“I didn’t know he had it on him, Jake. And he’s not my boy toy.” Your nose screws up in disgust. 
“It doesn’t matter anymore. The media caught wind of your weekend away in Vegas with that singer. Did you really think no one would recognize you with a famous musician in a strip club? They have pictures of you in cuffs, Y/N – you’re lucky you didn’t get pressed with charges for drug possession.” 
You hear the tired disappointment in Jake’s voice and feel guilt crawl around in your chest. No words seem to be good enough to fix the mess you created so you stay silent. You can add this to the list of headlines he has had to clean up recently. You keep your head down, like a petulant child called into the principal’s office – which in this situation, was an accurate comparison.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Y/N.” A higher-pitched voice echoes behind you and theoretically, if it were physically possible to pass through atoms, you’d be 6-feet under the Earth’s crust.
Far, far away from Liv.
“I already gave her the talk, Liv. We haven’t got the time. What’s the plan to fix this?” Jake crosses his arms, one elbow propped to hold his heavy head up. The bags under his eyes were a clear indication that like you, he also hasn’t slept since he bailed you out of Clark County Jail – a mere 10 hours ago.
All you knew is that you were waking up in a cold, dingy cell with a nasty hangover and an officer shouting from behind steel bars that someone had posted bail for you. Next thing you knew, you were being escorted out the side entrance of the building and into a blacked-out Escalade then driven to a private tarmac where a jet was waiting to take you back to Los Angeles.
Liv is also someone you accredit your success to. Jake and Liv are partners and often represent clients together. You liked to call them each other’s work husband/wife. Liv is a tough lady, only in her early 30s and already one of the most sought-after PR agents in Hollywood; has a boss-ass bitch attitude and a resting bitch face to match. Where Jake often played the good cop with you, Liv was guaranteed to be the complete opposite. 
Liv rounds the desk, standing beside Jake. She was dressed in business casual clothes but her hair wasn’t done like it usually was – a sign she had rushed over here upon your arrival. Staring you down with a menacing glare before rolling her eyes. “You’re not gonna like it, but I don’t care because we’re way past doing things your way.”
You sit up, a little scared. Liv is not one to mess around with. If she says it’s something you won’t like, you might as well go dig up your own grave. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I have an idea as to how to get some heat off your shoulders. Just until the press can find something else to fuss over.” She waves with a hand, furiously typing on her phone.
You and Jake shared a look, waiting for her to continue. 
“Well, are you going to tell us or not?” Jake huffs, throwing his hands in the air. Was he the only one in this damn room that felt like the sky was falling?
A knock interrupts before Liv can respond. “Hold that thought… Come in!” She holds a finger up, shoving her phone in her back pocket. 
You turn around, curiosity getting the better of you. Only, it was Jake’s assistant popping her head in. “Sorry for interrupting, sir. I know you said not to disturb you unless it was urgent.”
Jake runs a tired hand on his face. “Just get to the point, Em.” He says, not unkindly.
“Miss Olivia’s guests are here for the meeting. I was wondering if I can let them in?” The young assistant says timidly. Anyone can feel the thick tension in the room. No doubt she also saw the headlines plastered all over the internet of your face. There was an urgency in her mannerism that told you she wanted out of this conversation as soon as possible.
“Yes, let them in! Don’t make them wait.” She waves frantically. The door closes, leaving the three of you alone for a moment.
“Liv, what is this?” Jake asks before you can.
“Y/N, control your anger and be kind to our guests. This is for you, remember that.” She plasters a large smile with her last words as the door opens; multiple voices can be heard behind you. What the hell does that mean?
“Miss Ortega, great to officially meet you and Sarah, thank you for meeting us on such short notice.” Your head snaps to the side as Liv steps out from behind the desk to greet the people behind you.
The sight has you struck dumb. Why is Wednesday Addams in your manager’s office?
Granted, you know who she is. Who doesn’t? You can barely drive down any highway in L.A. without seeing her face plastered on some sort of billboard or building. But why is she here, in this office?
“Y/N I’d like you to meet Miss Ortega…” You were still rooted in your chair, just staring at them like an idiot. An uptick of a brow is raised as Jenna watches you remain unmoving. 
“Get up.” Jake kicks the back of your chair as he rounds the desk to greet Jenna and her manager, gritting under his breath. You spring up at the thud, rubbing your back in annoyance. 
“Nice to meet you, Miss Ortega.” You extend your hand when she finishes greeting Jake. 
She stood a good few inches under you, dressed casually in loose pants and a hoodie. She had a pair of sunglasses pushing her hair back, which was tied in a messy low bun; headphones around her neck.
You two have never crossed paths in all your years in Tinseltown – which was surprising considering you two are around the same age. There might have been an event or two that you had attended at the same time but you have never had the chance for a formal introduction. It wasn't difficult to see why the whole world was buzzing about Jenna Ortega.
“Just Jenna is fine.” She slides her hand in yours, sending a small, shy smile. The sparks you feel when your palms connect has you flinching almost imperceptibly. You see Jenna’s eyes snapping toward your connected hands telling you she may have felt it too. But before you can think too hard on it, you’re pulling away from her grasp. 
“Let’s all sit down, so we can tell you why you’re both here.”
Jenna takes the armchair to your left, and you fight to keep your sight straight ahead. “There’s no easy way to break the news. But here’s the CliffsNotes version. Over 24 hours ago, Y/N was arrested in Vegas. The press is having a field day, they already have the paps planted outside her house and every location she frequents. Our solution… a PR relationship, just until all of this has died down.”
You stare deadpan at Liv. Out of all the years, you have known her, this has to be the most balls-to-the-wall, bonkers shit she’s ever said to you. 
“What?” A sweet voice piques beside you, voicing out the shock you weren’t able to verbalize.
“A fake relationship, sweetie.” Her manager, Sarah says in a much sweeter tone than Liv could ever muster.
You can see her shake her head from your side eye. “We agreed to no PR stunts like this, Sarah.”
“I know, Jen. But with the recent controversy online… we just think this may be a good look. Liv called me last night and we came up with this plan and thought it couldn’t hurt with both of your situations.” At least her manager sounded apologetic. 
Jenna scoffs, feeling irritated and ambushed. “No offence, but I can handle a few nobodies online. And my situation is nowhere near as bad as hers. If anything how would pairing me up with someone who does drugs be good for my image.”
Your head snaps to her, nearly growling, “Watch it. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She bites back, turning to glare at you. “Is it not the truth?”
“No.”
“We got a drug user and a liar, great.” She mutters under her breath.
“Okay stop! You two don’t have a choice,” Sarah speaks up, sending Jenna a look you didn’t care enough to decipher. 
“Get someone else,” You say to Liv, ignoring everyone else around you. “Literally anyone else, please.” 
Jenna puffs out an incredulous scoff. “Screw you, dude.”
“Screw you too!”
“Jenna!” “Y/N!” The adults of the room shout over one another, chastising you both.
“That’s enough!” Jake shouts, getting you to break your intense glaring at the other actress. Jake’s tone slightly scared you, he was never one to raise his voice. And you knew you were balancing on some very thin and fragile ice with him at the moment. 
“This is the plan and that’s final! Jenna, everyone sees you as America’s sweetheart after the success of Wednesday. As much as it sucks, everyone is watching your next move, personally and professionally. And Y/N, you’ve been in the press for literally all the wrong things this year, and yet, the public can’t get enough of you. It’s good publicity on both sides… So you two will learn to get along – for the sake of both of your careers.” He says with a tone that leaned on threatening and you didn’t have the balls the challenge him on that. 
You had worked too hard for the life you have today just for it to be thrown away by a careless mistake. So if you had to buckle down and act in love with one of the most annoying people you had ever met, in world-record time, then so be it.
“How long…” You mumble, dropping your head in defeat.
“Three months at most. Less the quicker people forget about your night at the county jail.” Liv answers.
“Fine…” You conceded.
A few seconds of silence ring out before she answers, “Fine…”
●●●
Jake and Liv @ Reader:
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I swear there's a SpongeBob meme for everything.
:)
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sheliesshattered · 2 months
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Like I mentioned at the end of my last post, besides making a few alterations to my shirt and vest for my Batuu Bound outfit, I also got started on a new sewing project over the last two weeks, something which might also make an appearance if/when we're able to go to Batuu again, but until then will also be a nicely functional piece just around the house.
To back up a bit, I ordered a lightsaber for my birthday -- as you do when you're an adult going through a resurgence of your childhood love for Star Wars, lol -- but the one I bought on Amazon ended up being not quite what I was hoping for. I returned it and spent some more time researching exactly what I wanted for my purposes (spinning and flow arts) and what would fit my small hands and short stature the best.
I ended up ordering from an excellent small business called Vire Sabers that lets you assemble your own lightsaber from the 'variable hilt component' system of pieces that all fit together. I spent a lot of time looking through all the various pieces and combinations, including putting them all together in a photo editor until I had something that I was happy with, that is just mine, and no one else's.
The saber really deserves a post all of its own, but first I want to do some weathering on the hilt and get some video of the flow skills I've been building up over the last week and a half since it arrived. I'll post something about it eventually.
And anyway, this post is really more about sewing a padded sheath for the saber.
It's another stash-busting project, like everything else in my Batuu Bound set, for which I only bought ~$4 of cotton batting -- which is handy because when I started on it, I wasn't sure when Jack and I would be working next. The contract work situation has resolved now, but even without that, it's always nice to move fabric and crafting supplies out of my stash and into a finished, useful item.
With consideration to possibly wearing this on my back with my Batuu Bounding outfit in the (near?) future, I decided to go with a brown color palette. From my stash I pulled out:
some yardage of non-stretchy faux suede that I probably bought more than 10 years ago for a project I can no longer remember, that has kind of a grippy texture to the suede surface
wool scraps left over from the screen-accurate Jedi robe I sewed for Jack in 2012
the tan cotton canvas I bought in January when I was thinking about covering the zippers of my Moment vest rather than sewing a completely new one
brown RIT dye that again I have no idea when or why I bought it, along with a little pink and violet RIT dyes probably left over from Hit Girl in 2010
brown velcro left over from an ill-fated attempt at building disability-friendly pillows for my couch nest
~34" of 1" wide twill tape left over from my steampunk corset I sewed in 2011
rock climbing-rated seamless aluminum O rings left over from the tensegrity stand and tent I built for Wasteland Weekend 2018
dark maroon thread that came in a set of thread that I bought online when I sewed my Oswin Oswald cosplay in 2020 and couldn't go to a store to buy just one color of thread, lol
The cotton canvas was perfect for the exterior of the case/sheath/bag thing, but the color wasn't a great match for the rest of my Batuu Bounding outfit. I had used a bit of the canvas to make a collar stand for Jack's jacket late last month, so I zigzag stitched the cut edges and threw it in the washing machine with a bunch of nearly boiling water, salt, and the brown, pink, and violet RIT dyes. I had more of the brown than the pink and the violet together, but my hope was to bring the "dark brown" RIT color plus the slightly greenish tan of the cotton towards a warmer brown. I let it agitate for about half an hour, and ended up really loving the final color.
With the exterior in progress, it was time to figure out the interior. I knew I wanted to make this case/sheath padded to give the saber a bit of cushioning while being carried around, but I also didn't want to buy more than I would use (or spend a ton of money, given that I was buying this while we were in between work contracts), so most quilt batting was out, as was most foam. I ended up buying half a yard (18") of 90" long cotton batting, then cutting it into four 9" x 45" pieces and layering those on top of each other. It's not a huge amount of loft, but it is a good amount of squish, and hopefully reasonable padding for the circumstances I expect to use the case in.
I sandwiched the cotton batting between one layer of the brown (Jedi robe!) wool and one layer of the non-stretch faux suede. In the picture below, the darkest brown is the wool, and just to the left of that is the dyed canvas.
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The wool won't be visible at all once this is all sewn together, and the faux suede only slightly visible at the top opening, but I like how the colors all coordinate without matching exactly.
Since the cotton batting is pretty solid, quilting wasn't entirely necessary, but I did want to make sure the layers stayed together without shifting around too much, and also give the thick layers specific places to bend to form a nice round tube shape. I ended up quilting it into six narrow panels that run the whole length of the sheath, with the outer two panels each 1 cm wider for seam allowance when I sew this into a tube.
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I also narrowed the entire interior from 9" (measured flat) to 8", so that it hugs the saber better, and so that I can fit the narrow portion of the canvas around the bulk of the interior + saber.
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The notch cut out of the upper left corner of the interior is there to create a flap that will fold over the open end of the bag/case and secure in place with velcro. I may try to find ways to sneak a few velcro attachment points into the exterior, so that it can be closed at various lengths (ie with or without the hilt).
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The dyed cotton canvas will eventually get a matching notch cut out of it, and the right sides of the interior and exterior sewn together before the interior is stuffed into the exterior, at which point it will look somewhat like this:
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Before I sew the exterior into a tube, I'm going to sew a pocket or two for carrying small essentials like blade tension screws. I'll also sew the twill tape into place, set slightly in from the top and bottom, and put those aluminum rings onto the twill tape when I do. That way the carrying strap will be gripping the whole case, all the way around, rather than have all the stress in one place. The lightsaber is only about two and a half pounds, and I can't imagine the case will weigh any more than that, but still, I want to be sure that there's nice firm support that won't give out and end up dropping the saber on the ground.
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Also, can I just point out the color match between the dyed canvas and the old left over piece of twill ribbon? I wasn't aiming for that! I wanted a warm brown, which is why I added the pink and violet dyes (and would have added red if I had any on hand), but I didn't even pull the twill tape from my stash until after I was done dyeing the canvas. It matches so well it looks like I bought them as a pair, but they were bought more than a decade apart and didn't match before I just chucked whatever dyes I had on hand into the washer, lol. I would have been fine with a bit of a color mismatch, but this works too!
At this point, I think I'm ready to sew the interior into a tube, with the grippy faux-suede on the inside, and the wool on the outside where it will eventually be sandwiched next to the canvas. I have squares of the cotton batting from where I cut out the notch for the flap, so I think I'm going to try to sew those to the outside of the seam along the narrow bottom edge, to give that even more padding. That's a lot of layers to put through my sewing machine, so we'll see if it'll cooperate or if I'll end up doing that bit by hand.
After that, I'm going to turn my attention to the exterior. I have some smaller pieces of dyed canvas that aren't in the above pictures, that I'm going to use to make a crossbody strap that connects to the those rings, along with a pocket or two. The pockets, some of the velcro closures, and the twill tape and rings need to be sewn down before I can turn the canvas into a tube, so all of that will be the next major step in this project.
I think I also want to paint (or sharpie) some Aurebesh on the exterior canvas, something along the lines of 'fragile antique - handle with care'. The character I put together for my Batuu adventures isn't a Jedi (or a Sith), but rather makes a living finding antiques and oddities on outer rim worlds and transporting them to the inner rim and core worlds to sell at a profit. Not many people can read Aurebesh, but it'll add a bit of visual texture and storytelling all the same. And then if I have another run in with Kylo Ren, I can state for certain that I'm not a Jedi sympathizer, just an antiques dealer looking to turn a profit, lol.
If we do end up going to a Star Wars Nite at Disneyland, I think it could be fun to take my saber along, participate in the lightsaber meetup in front of the Falcon, and maybe even get some photos or videos of my spinning skills while I'm there. But even if this case is only ever used to store my saber here at home, it'll give it a place to live that's not my sewing table, where it's been living since it arrived, and the rings will let me hang it from a hook on the wall rather that take up any horizontal surface space. It'll be nice to look at while also keeping my saber easily accessible and ready to spin.
We don't have tickets for a Star Wars Nite event yet, but the first one is on April 16th, so I'm giving myself just under a month to finish this. I don't think I'll need that long -- but with the new work situation starting up tomorrow, it's really hard to say. I could have it finished by this time next week, or be hurrying to finish it the last weekend before we go back to Batuu, we'll just have to see how this next month works out.
Either way, I'll post more pictures here as it comes together.
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arcanepactguile · 1 month
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Ramblings ahead, following up on the quiz memes~
Teal deer, you've been warned.
Here we go, musings on the Heavy Longing and Love quiz results. To put it bluntly, they're uncannily accurate to a T. Holy fuck. I could go on, then we'd never get anywhere with my brain-rotted ramblings.
It's difficult cementing Alastor's little quirks and facets of his psychoanalysis because his character hasn't been established as much as the others.
There appears to be a general consensus Alastor's contracted to Lillith. Others think it's Eve. I personally think it could even be a third, a canon as of yet unnamed and could very well be a WIP, a nonexistent character. We can't look behind the curtain so any guess is as good as another.
VivCrew may be releasing lore as episodes are released, premeditated, or frankly less likely making shit up as they go like other toon IPs do because of breakout character popularity. That said, I see and portray Alastor the way I do because he's essentially stuck in Purgatory.
He's neither here nor there, the finale dropped the bombshell that he's on a leash no different to Husker & Angel, collared to a higher power who's pulling the strings. He wants to enact his full potential as a sociopathic serial killer god - fueled by boredom, power trips, superiority complex, and enjoying other people's suffering specifically came about through his manipulation.
The other characters, including Husker & Angel have freedom. Husker doesn't lament the power/s he gave up. Angel, despite the abuse and toxic control, has no problems rebelling when backed into a corner. Alastor meanwhile, had suffered a meltdoen and is absolutely terrified of whatever barter he's assigned. One problem is we don't know what he bought, and the cost. Revenge hasn't been introduced as a driving point or extra baggage to push Alastor into behaving the way he does. There's no unfinished business regrets or pursuits. Alastor's focused entirely on pleasing somebody stronger than him who's a complete monster.
So far, Alastor's most complicated and flawed characteristic is fear. He's got immense power, yet his solo song explains he is helpless to use it to break free, pay back what he owes, he has to be careful while toying with his own affairs without making himself a prime scapegoat his contract dealer could utilise as punishment because he's crossed the line. Firstly, fear of overstepping or flouting rules by accident, to whoever they are. He has a duty to perform. One idea is something to do with looking after Charlie, ensuring her redemption hotel project doesn't fail and she doesn't get hurt regardless who does own Alastor. There's other possibilities, but that's the most obvious one. The show's fresh so there's more lore to flesh out before we can claim to know anything for sure. Fear has a death grip; the uncertainties, allies and enemies, how much to give parts of himself away in a perfect balance between false pretenses to get what he wants versus not to breach the rules he has to respect. There's the risk of revealing too much, the exposure of his vulnerabilities as well as the revelation Alastor isn't quite the imposing overlord that he sells himself as. There's bigger predators than him out there. Tied into the energy spent exhausting all avenues where he could be manipulated or declared a fraud, Alastor has a lot of metaphorical housekeeping to manage. Viv confirmed his smile's a permanent fixture, she didn't elaborate it. The stitches that appear during transformation phases could either be an innocent design choice for the vibe. Or, evidence his smile is a literal disfigurement enforcing it. On another note; a pet peeve of mine, is how touch-averse fans have made him - when he's anything but? Alastor's amongst the most handsy characters. Going through rewatches, it should be clear he's not revolted or scared of touch, in this argument affections.
Alastor has shown more warmth and compassion to his fellows than say, Husker or Vaggie has to the same people. Alastor's flirtatious, sympathetic, bold, and suggestive. Annoyance + a big show of wiping his hand when Lucifer shakes his hand, yet receptive and delighted/unabashed when he's manhandled and coddled by Rosie. He takes it in good humour and doesn't resist her. In the duet with Lucifer, he was keen to insult him with his cocky 'your daughter calls me Daddy too' taunt. Alastor's quirks don't fit with the context of a timid and chaste pawn.
I know the fan-favourite 'he's unloved, I can fix that' is a major player in character building fanon, I do think it's ignoring how complicated Alastor's psyche is, to reduce him to a generic touch-averse thirsty virgin due to imagined insecurities instead of portraying Alastor as open and affectionate.
Love & Relationship are other two separate battles, another story that picks apart how his interactions can be misunderstood easily. We've only had to rely on his approach to the others' relationships, he hasn't had any advances yet besides playfulness.
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healingtitta · 2 years
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Boolean search tools
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BOOLEAN SEARCH TOOLS FREE
In this paper, the technique of Boolean search string is explored in details along with the analysis/evaluation of the effectiveness of the technique.
BOOLEAN SEARCH TOOLS FREE
However, with little automated help for the free text search query. Search engines and on-line bibliography resource sites are conventionally used to find the relevant literatures using key word search. The relevant literatures should be searched from multiple sources. It’s extremely important to research all alternate brand spellings, common typos, and acronyms - in the example below, you can see that the most popular brand name alternatives are listed, along with relevant social media handles and a hashtag.The review of available literature is a foundation requirement for most research projects. You can set up a query that will search for exact matches of pieces of your content across social media platforms and on the Web to see if someone's using your work without permission.īefore playing around with your first query, it's a good idea to get a clear understanding of what keywords should be included, because the tool will ignore lots of relevant results otherwise. Checking for plagiarism - This is probably the least obvious case for using Boolean search, but it works, and it works great.You can also filter results by language or country, and the same operator also makes it possible to discover new backlinks as they appear. Searching for linkless mentions - With Boolean search, it’s also easier to create queries which exclude mentions that already have links to a particular website.Using Boolean, I can combine this group with phrases people use to ask about something, such as 'looking for', 'recommend', 'I need', etc., enabling broader, more accurate mention matching. Combining groups of keywords - Let’s say I own a streaming platform - to find people looking for a service like mine online, I might use phrases like 'streaming service', 'streaming app', 'streaming platform', etc.Boolean search can help to narrow your results by utilizing grouping or negative keywords. Using such a name as a keyword will likely bring a ton of irrelevant mentions. The name of the brand is a common or ambiguous word - e.g.Here are some examples of when Boolean search is the only option, or at least, where it will be more helpful than a regular search mode: If, for example, you don't have a brand name that can be used in multiple contexts, a regular search will likely tackle the task. But that said, not everyone will need it. Find out if you actually need Boolean searchīoolean logic powers up a search query and makes it more adaptable to your needs. Sprout Social is an all-in-one solution for social media marketers: it’s equipped with a unified inbox, customizable reports, scheduled post publishing, and advanced social listening modeġ.TweetDeck is a free Twitter tool with impressive search capabilities and scheduling options.Awario is a comprehensive social media and web monitoring tool which comes with advanced features, like Boolean search and powerful analytics.Not every social monitoring tool has Boolean capabilities - tools like Awario, TweetDeck, or Sprout Social will let you play around with Boolean before settling on a subscription plan: One way to address this is by utilizing a monitoring tool with Boolean search capacity, which will enable you to hone in your search terms and focus on more specific mentions. But it can also be a daunting task - with so much discussion happening online, you can easily get swamped by irrelevant mentions, which not only waste your time but can also impact your analytics in a negative way. Social media monitoring is fast becoming a requirement for modern brands who looking to support their customers on social media platforms, keep an eye on competitors, and/or find relevant influencers.
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obeymeluv · 3 years
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Quick! Kiss Me! [Part 2 - Lucifer]
So originally this was supposed to be multiple brothers per part but this got unexpectedly long and I only had the energy to get through Lucifer. I’ll definitely get to the other brothers. This project may take priority over the others until I get them all out. I know what I’ll be doing for Mammon’s, sort of for Levi’s, definitely for Satan’s, definitely for Beel’s, and I’m not quite 100% on Belphie’s or Asmo’s. Honestly, they’re not all supposed to get this long, but this one had some lead up + Lucifer. The other ones will probably be a couple of paragraph’s, maybe a page at most.
Note: The Thrall/The Call is something that came up in a Diavolo piece forever ago. Can’t even remember which one because I had to go back and find it myself. It’s basically one of their tell-tale signs they’re trying to seduce someone or flirt with someone.
Some of these kiss scenarios will get a little NSFW because the bros get to kiss you, have a crush on you, and are excited dorks. Everything under the cut just to be safe.
Any bolded italics are your/MC’s thoughts since you can’t currently speak.
Quick! Kiss Me! [Part 2]
--
After a few awkward moments of the brothers standing around, their hearts squeezing in their chests as they tried to hold back their individual Thralls to make your choice more neutral, they realized their wouldn’t be a choice. There couldn’t be. The lip color was too scrambled to work in such a small space with that many people. You’d just barely blinked and the brothers skittered off at inhumane speeds that made your skin crawl; in your human brain it was very much those ‘distant echoes of horror movie noises one should never hear.’ Lucifer turned so abruptly his cape snapped; he melted seamlessly into the natural darkness hiding around the House of Lamentation.
That was the starting gun for the others to disperse.
Belphie exploded into black wispy shadows, sinking into the floor. Asmodeus stretched his wings again, flapping leisurely towards his room as he blew you a teasing kiss. Satan’s eyes, somehow greener and more bewitching than ever, hesitated to leave you as he retreated up the steps, made it about three before deciding to jog, and finally teleported towards the top and around the corner, hints of his horns and a brief whip of his tail following him. A skin-prickling rumble sounded soon after; the fourth-born had embarrassed himself.
Levi sought the privacy of his room, as to be expected. He would die if he kissed you ANYWAYS, but to kiss you in front of his brothers?! He’d rather have a conversation with a stranger! Gross! He was more than happy to get his red face out of view and mumble…whatever he was talking about…into his handheld console.
Only Beel and Mammon remained.
You looked at them curiously, brows raised. Beel gave you his casual smile, a little humming laugh at this situation, and promptly picked Mammon up by the collar of his jacket as they walked away from the foyer area. It was clear the second-born would lounge around and maybe try to sucker into kissing him first. You’d like to think Beel was forcing him to hide so the lip color could give you an accurate reading, but you’d always wondered if the kind, ever-hungry brother got jealous. If he did, he never showed it (and for a guy with six brothers, that was impressive).
Brain and body calmed by the emptiness, by the fact that they were somewhere in the house, you set off on your quest for a kiss. No one’s going to believe this, you rolled your eyes, starting towards the right wing when a gust of cold air overtook you. A chilly numbness set in, nipping at your fingertips and pulsing in your lips and face enough to give you a headache. Not that way, you turned away sharply, the cold receding as you moved in the other direction. Some people have really cute ‘how did you meet?’ stories and mine was getting tricked into magic demon makeup that my boyfriend had to free me from, as you found yourself in the middle of a random hallway an aggravating realization set in: the House of Lamentation was so ornate and old that all the hallways looked the same.
Same walls, same tone of polished furniture, same light fixtures, and the carpeting was a given.
Hadn’t you already been down this hall?! Why was it when you really needed to find one of SEVEN people, you couldn’t find any of them?! You felt like you’d walked the whole house! The House of Lamentation was far bigger than it looked on the outside (was that even possible?) and now you were beginning to think the brothers picked the very corners of the house! You were honestly surprised the brothers hadn’t come looking for you. Some small part of you was too amused and couldn’t help but smile at the fact that centuries-old demons were freaking out and pacing in their hiding spots like schoolboys fixing to go on an overnight trip with their crush.
You shuffled forward, wondering what a positive response felt like. Time alone to just think was really odd, especially with how chaotic the Devildom could be, but it led to some really interesting thoughts. No one would believe the ‘magic demon makeup’ part of your story but you could lie and say it was a really intense game of Hot and Cold. Any of them would make good boyfriends, you admitted to yourself, glad none of them were around to see the pink in your cheeks. If one of them popped up, you’d just lie and blame it on the warm tingle prickling at your lips.
A warm tingle?! That was a lot like what you felt when your lips were sealing shut! You spun in a startled circle, not sure when the feeling began, and desperately tried for a stronger reaction. A prickle became a tingly bubble, like a glass of champagne going to your head too fast, and soon your body felt like it was floating, rolling on waves upon waves of a butterflies-in-my-stomach that washed you up in front of a door.
Inside you found…
Lucifer sitting at his desk, half-heartedly pouring over paperwork. You pushed the heavy door open, feeling like you’d pulled the curtain back on a privacy charm, and wiggled past the old wood. The lazy tapping of whatever he was writing with stopped, the eldest perking up like someone had set him free of the eternal coil of paperwork. If you hadn’t been looking at him while trying to pull your other leg through, you would’ve missed the boyish glow of hope, the they picked me! It’s me!, that was promptly devoured by his blossoming pride.
Face propped up on a gloved wrist, now lounging confidently back against his chair as his other wrist dangled off the arm, Lucifer invited you in with a sly smile and a beckoning roll of his fingers. You rolled your eyes. We both saw your heart stop. You don’t need this ‘tall, dark, and dom’ fake allure, you waved your hands about to emphasize the ‘allure’ as you flashed him a well-meaning smile. You felt pretty confident knowing you could fluster the first born, the one with the sin of pride.
It was actually really heart-warming to know he was so eager to be yours.
“This is no act, I assure you.” Lucifer abandoned his cloak on the back of the chair, undoing it with one hand as he rose to meet you. His wings unfurled slowly and softly, ever majestic, and feathered out to their full length. They shuddered and fluttered, blowing a gentle air about the room. His eyes, normally a gradient of red and black, looked completely red. Lucifer’s pupils had taken on some slit-like appearance that had flecks of black rimming the sides.
A purr rolled in his chest, something quiet but confident, enticing, as he waited for your hand. You found yourself hypnotized by his eyes—maybe for real?—dropping your hand delicately into his. The leather folded around your skin and you couldn’t look away, even as he brought it close to his chest and then higher still, like he’d put it on his shoulder. To pull you into a kiss as dramatic as this—in the quiet only surrounded by the sound of his wings and a purr and the fire crackling in the back of the room—was very Lucifer.
You stood on tiptoe, looking up at him expectantly. Hell, you even batted your eyelashes to really get at him.
WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Lucifer’s lips brushed your knuckles again in a stuttering kiss. He placed a few more open-mouthed kissed up your finger before the laughter took over him again. He knew exactly what he was doing, just like he knew what he was doing when he smoothed his hair back away from his face. “Have I left you speechless, my dear?” he’d started to stand to his full height, shit-eating smirk on his lips. His voice was wrapped in a sultry purr that was undoubtedly the first sin mankind ever heard.
That cool façade was strangled in the grip you had on his folded collar, bringing the first-born nose-to-nose with you. Lucifer was hardly intimidated by your glare but oh you were very darling.
BECAUSE YOU CAN’T AIM! Your nostrils flared as you pouted a bit. You’re supposed to kiss me HERE! You pointed to your lips.
“I can’t aim?” Lucifer’s wings twitched, probably in indignation. Were you implying he couldn’t do something? His lips twisted upwards in a little huff, the beginnings of a sneer even. All of that melted away when that large hand cupped the back of your head, fingers twining in your hair. You’d just registered the sensation when he brought your lips to his, head tilted and savoring the kiss.
It was a long with a slight suckle, the eldest truly indulging in this minuet of a moment compared to the usual chaos of his daily existence. He felt you sag against him, hooking his other arm around your waist to stumble towards his desk. You were an awkward clatter of bones against him, chest-to-chest, and one leg falling out of the chair, but you managed.
“This was how it was supposed to be,” Lucifer confessed softly, sitting you in the space he’d cleared for you. Literally. You just now realized the scant space on his desk was big enough for you to sit. He dragged the chair forward, your legs naturally coming to rest against the padded backing on either side of his waist. Lucifer tucked some hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek. “I wanted to kiss you this way,” but my pride got the best of me, he didn’t dare finish saying it, but he thought it.
You felt your lips open, swollen and beautifully tender. To breathe through them felt weird. They still tingled with the after-effect of the enchantment. Lucifer watched you lick your lips experimentally, draw in a breath, and allowed himself to be drawn in, too. You shared a few more languid kisses before his D.D.D started to go off.
You saw Mammon’s icon pop up, then Asmo’s. The brothers were looking for you. “That reminds me,” Lucifer patted your thigh before pushing himself away. He stole another kiss before rounding the corner of his desk. He opened the door just slightly, stepped out of the room, and bellowed something in demon tongue that had a clear message of finality ringing in the house. Whatever he’d said made him lock the door to his study with a quickness, a crimson spell burning into the wood.
Looking very much like a smug older brother, Lucifer dropped himself elegantly back in his chair. One hand situated your legs just as they had been, the other one pulling you close for good measure. He coaxed you into a few kittenish kisses, flinching against your lips when the banging started. You could hear Mammon complaining outside the door. A spell fizzled against the door; seems like Belphegor or Satan had fired one off. Content and exhausted, he found purchase in the curve of your neck, enjoying the silence and your scent.
“We’ll get through this.” You combed your fingers through his hair. You’d have to face the brothers eventually.
“I look forward to it.” Lucifer kissed your shoulder.      
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laurelier · 3 years
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MEG YOUR POST IS SO BEAUTIFUL??????!!?????????
just the whole perspective of ariel as someone who looks at eric and sees a romantic partner, but first and foremost herself, the truest reality of who she is? fuck me man. the movie does too well with hiding the trans theme behind the big fat love story but shit it's so clear. and ursula as a character inspired by a drag queen, who you so accurately describe as a mentor, a say-it-to-your-face gay aunt who prepares ariel for the real world. shit meg
i also wanted to say this part was beautiful and i find a lot of recognition in it and i have goosebumps again now
*overshare sirens*—this feeling of Ariel’s here, this oh shit, that should be me…….. to be just entirely too frank with you all, I like to imagine it’s not dissimilar to the way I personally feel when I look at Harry wearing clothes I wish I could wear in a way I wish I could wear them. The way he appears in his own self being the way I’d live in mine, if I could choose. Which sometimes I feel is me projecting at uncomfortable heights but—it’s just. It’s so powerful to see someone who, for you, for so many reasons, embodies a possibility you didn’t know existed before, a choice you didn’t know you could make.
Ok first of all—thank you???????????? so???? much????? I'm forcing myself to take the compliment first we're taking the compliment yes we're not deflecting. We're saying thank you. Mostly just thank you for reading? And responding?? For your tags?? For sending this ask????? For EVERYTHING???
More thoughts more thoughts for u, as usual I'm coming down from the high of reading tag reacts and leo's is related to this. All this shit is making me wanna write ANOTHER POST someone stop me about the way I think these two dumbass mfs that we spend so much time talking about fuck with the pronouns in their love songs to leave room for that very idea you laid out there, that loving someone deeply and profoundly and genuinely and openly is a road to the self. I'm not going to start making Home connections here. I won't do it. I won't do it to myself. No I will not I cannot I will not no thank u.
But yeah, like, that's there with E and A—Ariel sees someone she loves romantically, and also, in my mind equally or maybe even more, who represents a truer vision of herself. And I don’t at all say that to suggest that you ~find yourself in~ or ~are completed by~ anyone you fall in love with—rather the opposite, that we love those who remind us of ourselves, or who reflect us in a way that strengthens and confirms us. Shockingly enough I get real mushy about this: just like. How much more real it has made me feel, over the course of my lil life, when I've known that other people have truly seen me. Or when something about them has made me see myself. I don't mean, like, me asking anyone else to validate me or convince me of my worth—I mean identification, recognition. You are me. I am you.
And maaaaaannnnnnn the quote you pulled. That's from so deep in my little heart. Right now so few people in my life know that I feel that way—or, like, have heard me say that so honestly, you know? It's sitting right in the middle of my little chest that you see that and feel it and know it also. He's just. So important to me. His tender vulnerable soulful way of existing.
Thank you beautiful ellamerm thank you thank you thank you.
In reference to this
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notyetneedcoffee · 4 years
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Soul Seer, pt. 14
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Loki Master List
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Warnings: 18+ NSFW, Naughty Times!
Author’s Note: Takes place right after Avengers 1, with time travel elements and hints of Infinity Wars. Does NOT follow cannon after Avengers.
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 You dropped your bag on the bed and wondered over to the window. The green meadow and vast forest beyond should have been a welcome site after the devastation of New York or the craziness of DC. Everyone kept saying it would be okay. This was for the best. Still, the hollow pit in your stomach would not go away.
The construction you’d driven through to get to the residence couldn’t be seen from the windows. The soundproofing must be impeccable, too, because you couldn’t hear any of the earth movers or heavy machinery. The windows didn’t open. They were solid black from the outside, but looking out they were nearly invisible.
Stark pulled out all the stops on your new home. Expensive furnishings, lush materials, and Stark Tech filled the apartment. Looking around, you admitted to yourself it was more than you ever could have asked for. You’d never had a bedroom so large. Off the sitting room, a library held books stacked to the ceiling. You even loved the colors.
It still felt empty.
A chime filled the room, followed by the voice of Jarvis. “Miss, Captain Rogers is at the door.”
“Please let him in.”
“Y/N,” Steve called out.
“Just looking around.” You answered, stepping out of the library to meet him in the sitting room.
“You okay?” Steve came closer, rubbing your shoulders.
Swallowing back tears, you tried to offer a smile.
“Hey,” he pulled you into a warm hug. “I know. Everything is different now. Give it some time, it will be okay. Really.” Steve felt you take a breath, ready to give the same argument you’d given a dozen times before. “You trust us, right? We’re not going to let anything bad happen.”
“She’s a smart woman, Captain. Do not make promises you cannot keep. You will try not to let anything bad happen.” Loki’s smooth voice came through the door.  
“Loki!” You broke free and dashed into his arms. Your feet came up off the floor as he hefted you close, burying his face in the side of your neck. The feeling of his strong hold anchored you. His presence settled over you like a favorite blanket. It made you melt and gave you strength at the same time.
He set you lightly on your feet as his fingers combed over your hair, cool hand coming to rest on the back of your neck. Loki pressed his lips to your forehead. “It’s only been a few days, my pet. Have you really missed me so?”
You looked up into his smiling face. A frown drew your brows together. “Not getting to see you after that,” you shivered, “performance pissed me off. It wasn’t fair.”
“It was imperative you leave with the agents.” Loki stroked your face. “I wish you had not insisted on being there at all. Even if was not real, it was not a pleasant sight.”
“Sure felt real on my end.” Steve grumbled, even though the corner of his mouth tipped up.
“You agreed, Captain. It had to appear to be a genuine fight, especially to those who provided care to you after the fact.” Loki faced Steve, easily tucking you under his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his waist.
“I know. I know.” Steve rolled his eyes. “You still pack a painful punch.”
Loki smiled. “As do you, Captain.”
“Well, thanks. I guess.” He chuckled. “Tony has made certain that only the team and Pepper have free access to this building. You’ll receive notice when and where the cleaning or service crews will be around. They are escorted and under surveillance by Jarvis at all times. So, feel free to wander the building. Training facilities and the gym is on the first floor. There’s lounges and entertainment rooms on two, the labs take up all the subfloors, and we all have units on the top three floors.”
“I believe Stark even placed an observatory on the roof.” Loki looked down at your face. “The stars are more visible here than in the city.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Y/N,” Steve buried his hands in his pockets. “Give it a few months and you’ll be able to make contact with your family and friends again. No one will make you break contact, and Tony will make sure you’re kept informed. We just have to protect you from the people that know how much of Loki’s knowledge you have.”
You sighed. “I understand, Steve. I really do.” Looking around, you leaned into Loki a little more. He felt like home. He made this space work. “And I appreciate everything the team is doing, especially you. This takes breaking the rules to a whole new level.”
Loki laughed. “For someone who toes the line, you certainly knew exactly what needed to be done to fake my death.”
Steve’s ear turned pink. “Well, I figure you’re already abiding by the rules of your sovereignty and you will do way more good helping us than sitting in a steel box somewhere. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t follow the rules.”
Loki extended a hand. “Thank you for taking care of Y/N in my absence.”
“Anytime.” Steve shook his hand. “I’m, ah, going to head out. Everyone is getting settled in, so we won’t be starting work until after lunch tomorrow.”
“I will see you then.” Loki nodded.
“Thanks, Steve.” You smiled.
As soon as the door closed, Loki’s hands cupped your face as his eyes studied you. “You’ve been weeping, little one.”
“I fell asleep in the car.” You answered honestly. “I dreamt of you dying again.”
“I wish you had not come.” He whispered before his lips covered yours in a soft kiss.
“Show me.” You grasped his wrists. “Show me how you did it. Maybe then I will see it for what it was instead of what the adrenaline imprinted on my memory.”
His forehead touched yours. You never could accurately explain how Loki shared his knowledge. It wasn’t like seeing something new or recalling a memory. You just suddenly knew. It was like having a latent memory triggered by the sight or sound of something. You just knew.
Entering the inquiry, Loki had been himself. One of the SHIELD agents was a magical projection. He indeed fought with the others, though he purposely used flashier magic and moved with less grace. Just before the worst of the battle, Loki bumped into his projection and with a flash, they traded places.
Steve could have fought off the specter-Loki had he wanted. Instead, he faked his effort and succumbed to the choking. As planned, Natasha swept in and killed the specter. The true Loki, stood behind you to keep you calm.
He remained with the team that escorted the ‘body’ to lock down. You were swept away with the team that checked in on the Senators and their people. The bitter taste of impotent anger flooded your senses as you realized how Loki stood passively by as a group of key politicians gawked and scoffed at what they thought was his mutilated corpse.
“Fools.” You spat and rolled your eyes. “They ran like cowards at the first sign of danger. How dare they preen over your body? They wouldn’t last two seconds against you.”
A low rumble vibrated from Loki’s chest. His fingers dug into your hips as his open mouth left a wet kiss and playful bite on your neck. “Mmm,” Loki purred against your skin as he pulled your body hard against his evident need. “You defending my prowess is quite enticing.”
Your fingers wound into his thick hair, tugging his face closer to yours. His large hands lifted you from your feet, fingers digging into the meat of your ass. He moaned when your tongue laved over his lower lip. You whispered, “I will always defend you. You are mine.”
You yelped as Loki tossed you away from him, only to gasp as your suddenly bare ass bounced on the soft sheets of the bed. Just as your jaw snapped shut, he stalked through the portal at you. As his knee sunk into the mattress, the clothes evaporated from his body. The raw hunger in his eyes, caused more than your mouth to water.
Loki captured your ankle in one hand, pulling it up to his mouth. Wet kisses, playful bites, and delicious licks had you quivering before he reached your inner thigh. You laid back, clawing at the sheets as he pushed your legs further apart.
“Mmm, my pet.” His fingers slipped through your wetness, spreading slickness over your sensitive flesh. “So responsive for me.” His talented cool tongue circled your clit before lapping up your juices. “So luscious.”
“Loki…” Your sigh turning to a sudden gasp as Loki’s hand held you down and his mouth latched on to your clit. Fire shot through your veins. Your body writhed, but he held you firm. Somehow, the impossibly strong force of his hand holding you down just pushed your excitement higher. His magic tongue danced over sensitive flesh, lighting your nerve on fire. Loki hummed, low and rich, rocking your body with the vibration.
“Oh fuck!” Tension coiled low in your belly. Loki did not let up, determined to pull ecstasy from you as fast as possible. Two long fingers slipped into you, stroking firmly against the perfect spot. Your back arched. A wicked smile spread across his sex damp face. Fingers pumped harder. A wave broke, washing you in heat, as you came over his hand. “Loki!”
His thick chuckle filled your ears as your body quivered. Loki crawled up your body, raining kisses along your flesh. “I could not wait, pet.” Loki growled against your ear. “I needed to taste your honey.” His cock pressed into you, filling you. “Needed to hear you scream my name.” He hitched your knees up, fucking into you deep. “Yes,” he groaned, “to feel you around me.”
Whining, your finger dug into his shoulders, holding on. Loki set a powerful, fast pace. The crisp forest, clean male and distinctly Loki smell filled your head. The low rumble of his groans brushed you ear. He surrounded you, filled you. So intense. Your breath mixed with his, noses brushing along each other’s.
Loki felt your body coil, felt the heat flush your skin. His hips snapped and you cried out. He pushed your further, barely holding back his own release. Your thighs shook as he dug his fingers into your flesh. His deep timbre rumbled over your cheek, tickling your ear, “Come for me.”  
Fire raced down your body, hitting you hard and stealing your breath. Loki moaned, chasing your release with his own. You melted, every bit of tension, every bit pain, washed away leaving you floating despite Loki’s weight pressing you to the mattress.
You stayed wrapped around him, relishing in his body around you, in you, anchoring you.
Loki held you tight, uncertain whether the need to remain close was his own or if it came from you. Either way, he relaxed into the feeling, allowing himself a moment of need. There would be enough work, enough worries, later. For this moment, he could allow you both to forget it all.
TAGS:
@1800-fight-me,  @abschaffer2 , @alexakeyloveloki , @archy3001 , @asgardianthot , @asiaaisa77 , @badassbaker , @bangtan-serendipity , @beautifullungs , @buchanansebba , @buckybarneshairpullingkink , @buckybarnesplumwhore , @buckybarnesplumwhore , @daughterofthenight117 , @dawnlaufeyson , @dsakita , @everything-is-awesomesauce , @fangasm202 , @geeksareunique , @girlmadeofivory , @girlmadeofivory , @imma-new-soul , @jesseswartzwelder , @jillilama-blog , @kalesrebellion , @kermittheshipper , @kiki5283 , @kneel-before-queen-loki , @lbouvet , @lovely-lollipops-blog , @messenough , @michelehansel , @mindtravelsx , @morganhoran1671 , @myownviperroom , @night-cereus , @notyourtypicalrose , @osric-the-l3m0n-l0v3-demon , @person-born-winchester , @rainbowkisses31 , @readermia , @rinthehufflepuff , @rogerrhqpsody , @rynabarnesrogers-reading , @sammghgecko , @scarlettsoldier , @sebbysstangirl , @sex-cee-seabasss , @sexyvixen7, @smokeandnailz , @tahiri-veyla , @theladybiers , @theneuropsychwriter , @the-omni-princess , @the-reading-octopus , @thorfanficwriter , @ultracolorfulnerdcollection , @ultrarebelheart , @unadulteratedwizardlove , @vanillabunn21 , @vintageroses1014516 , @vodka-and-some-sass , @wwe-fanfiction-queen , @neverending-space , @saiyanprincessswanie , @a--1--1--3​ , @peter-pan-hoe​ 
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silenceofthecookies · 3 years
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Black Clover matchup for @nakunakunomi
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Matchup for me :D No gender preferences I am a biromantic ace. 
Your age: 24 
Your general appearance - most striking features, your fashion style, etc.
Answer: Chubby mermaid lol. Long curly hair almost all the way down my back. Red at the moment, but I’ve had all colors of the rainbow. Ears pierced multiple times and a septum ring whenever I leave the house. My general style is comfy alternative, loads of black, boots and ripped jeans but baggy shirts and sweaters. I don’t like drawing much attention to my chest because my boobs are a very prominent feature. Hourglass figure with extra minutes: so there’s boobs and ass but also a tummy and such. I have dimples when I laugh and a whole bunch of moles over my body. I like a killer liner and mascara but don’t necessary wear makeup every day. I like 4 tattoos and waiting for that fifth one. 
Your MBTI, western zodiac chart, etc.
Answer: INFP (mediator), Scorpio sun, Libra moon, Pisces ascending. Year of the rat. I’d say my MBTI type is pretty accurate and while I don’t have many of the bitchy traits often assigned to Scorpios, I do have some of the passion towards things I care about and a generally jealous and stubborn personality. 
Your personality, how you perceive yourself and how people around you perceive you.*
Your hobbies, interests, life goals etc.*
Answer: Stubbornness and some jealousy (that is always internalized) are my worst traits. I lack self-esteem and confidence and get anxious in new situations. Once I am around people I trust I blossom open and become more giggly (lame jokes and such) my humor is about 50% puns and 50% sarcasm. I am quick-witted with ‘mean’ remarks but I will never intend to offend or cause harm to anyone. Tough exterior comes with a soft interior. I tend to overthink and worry a lot and will usually put a friend’s needs above mine. I often have people coming to me for advice or to help them calm down. I will be honest in the softest way possible, even if the things I need to say aren’t necessarily nice. I want my friends to flourish. I get easily distracted by cute things and can really enjoy beautiful sights, nice food, good company… i am heavily introverted but I do need the handful of people I care about to flourish myself.
I accumulate facts and know loads of small things about a lot of things. I like adding in fun facts every now and then but sometimes I come across as a know-it-all and then I will get really self-conscious about it. I either talk up a storm nonstop or turn into myself and get really really quiet. 
Your favorites, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, fears.*
Answer: anything creative: reading and writing, drawing (although I’m terrible at it), pixel art. Singing, making music, playing instruments, DIYing things. I am quite good with makeup and wigs, and I cosplay but the sewing I still struggle with. I love acting and gaming as well although I don’t spend that much time on them.
I am super heavily interested in true crime, cases, and the psychology of murderers and such. I tend to get overexcited talking about such cases, never celebrating violence, but just being very fascinated by what a human brain can do. I also just really love riddles, mysteries, and solving them.
I’d love to become a teacher or a professional dog trainer. I love animals more than I love people and if I could work with dogs every day of my life that’d be amazing. An unrealistic goal would be to sing for a living, or do musicals. But I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen. 
Any additional info you would like to share, fun facts, etc.
Answer: food! Mainly Asian dishes (from all of Asia) and pastas. I love cooking and experimenting in the kitchen and trying out new things to taste. I’m vegetarian but not vegan and I will try everything that’s not meat or fish at least once! I love all kinds of animals, not only your average pets. I will also go pet the cows, and in the zoo you’ll have to drag me away by my ankles from the reptilians and the aquarium. I am fascinated by them and I love them. I love plants and flowers, and if you’d let me be, Id have a small jungle in my house with all kinds of plants and animals. I just love taking care of them, talking to them…
I dislike arrogant people, people who are rude against serving staff. I dislike impoliteness and laziness in the sense that other people are suffering from your lack of work. If I am in a group project I will never procrastinate because it can drag the whole group down, it’s okay to be lazy if it only impacts yourself.
I am afraid of loneliness and the fact that everyone I know just pretends to like me while talking behind my back and secretly hating me. I am not easily startled by monsters, animals, and such, but I do get a little paranoid if I have to walk in the street in the middle of the night. (a side effect from the true-crime consumption) 
Answer: I think I added most things in the other walls of text (sorry they are so long). But when it comes to relationship and goals around that there are these things that I think are most important: 
Love language is mostly quality time and words of affirmation, and that’s what I like too, as well as soft PDA and affections: cuddles, kisses, hand holding… I like spending time together, and even more so I like actually doing things together: sharing hobbies, going out, dates, dinners, walks, adventures, travels… all the things! :hellmo: 
Patience, because I have some anxiety issues as well as fear of commitment. I will definitely need some reassurance. Also consent is the sexiest thing in the world, and that’s coming from an ace person.
Honesty, liars are out. I have a lot of trouble trusting again once there has been a breach of trust. White lies for surprises and such is one thing, but any intentional lying in order to avoid confrontation is an absolute dealbreaker. 
I match you with...
Dorothy Unsworth!
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Despite her being asleep a lot of the time, Dorothy notices more than she lets on. She can see straight through the front someone is putting up and see what they are really feeling. This really helps in letting her support you, who is always supporting others. She’ll remind you that sometimes you need to take a break or that you need to focus on yourself instead of others. With her infectious smile and her own absurd sense of humour, she’ll do her best to cheer you up, or at least to distract you from whatever is bothering you.
Dorothy is very patient and has no rush with any relationship. Everything has its own time and waiting for that time to come it part of the fun, right? She’s also very understanding of your anxiety and is able to adjust her energy to the situation, keeping it low when you need comfort and reassurance, and going straight back to high when you’re feeling better and just want to have some fun.
Dorothy may seem very cute and girly, but she is interested in true crime as much as you are. The gruesome details of a case are not wasted on her and she will gladly talk with you about these cases. In her time as a magic knight she has seen her own fair share of true crime as well and she will gladly share anything that’s not confidential or dangerous.
Her love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. Not a day will go by where Dorothy won’t hug you from behind, kiss you between your shoulder blades and tell you she loves you. She loves loving you and making you feel loved. When she’s in love, keeping her lover safe, emotionally and physically, is her number one priority. She won’t give you even a second to doubt her love for you whenever you’re together. She’s very conscious of your boundaries and makes sure to not cross them.
Not a single lie will leave her mouth, unless as a joke, which will be very clear when she tells it. She is a knight, an enforcer of justice and peace, and lies are not in her book. Teasing, however, very much is, though she prefers to tease you with truths instead of with jokes. If there’s truth to the teasing, it’s just that much more effective.
You want this small strong captain to be putty in your hands? Cook for her, or cook with her. Dorothy greatly enjoys the good things in life and food is definitely on her list of good things. Her preference is mostly sweets, but she knows she needs to eat healthy food as well and she’s not picky when it comes to her dinner. The only need she has is that it tastes good, and that’s something you with your amazing culinary skills can definitely provide!
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I don't know who follows my musings here on this Project of mine. I know some Eastern Orthodox authors whom I greatly respect do. I suspect there may be one or two Adventists that do also.
This Project started because as a "squishy" Adventist doing research many years ago, I couldn't find a lot of thoughtful writing on the the intersection of Eastern Orthodoxy and Seventh-Day Adventism. I'm actually finding that's true now even more than ever.
Seventh-Day Adventists tell themselves that they have faithfully tried to recreate the 1st Century Church. Ask any Seventh-Day Adventist and they will affirm that belief. I would say that they've left out a lot, added quite a bit, and made up the rest. The Eastern Orthodox Church claims unbroken tradition from the time of the apostles. In addition to Eastern Orthodoxy, there are a few others too - The Church of the East and the Oriental Orthodox come to mind as Churches that appear to have a fairly ancient form of worship. One or two Western Churches claim Apostolic Succession, but of those, I don't think any can really make a strong claim to have accurately preserved the ancient forms of their faith.
One of the first things I notice is that there is quite a variation sometimes between these earliest traditions. I'm not a terribly deep scholar with access to a lot of source material, and at this point I disrepair of ever getting any that hasn't been changed to accommodate an agenda, but just a cursory look over these ancient expressions demonstrates several things that we, as Adventists, have gotten wrong about the Sabbath.
It's never been celebrated in isolation within the 1st Century Church. Never. It's always been part of a much larger liturgical fabric that always includes Sunday, as well as all the other trappings of a broader liturgical tradition. These would include movable feast days, fixed feast days, periods of fasting and the like. Sabbath was never isolated by itself. I don't know if Rabbinic Judaism had liturgical forms within the synagogue, but temple worship was full of liturgy. It seems as though those Liturgical traditions were brought into Christianity at a very early point. Legitimate Churches who recognized Sabbath seem to have never met in small groups for a little bit of feel-good music followed by a lecture in a fancy lecture hall, then left to go about their week. It as always part of something greater. The Didiche is a widely published, 1st Century document that anyone with a connection to the internet can access - In it, Sunday is clearly identified as the day for thanksgiving, or εὐχαριστία - the Eucharist.
It's never superseded the Lord's Day. Never. Except possibly by heretical groups that were recognized as heretical very early in history.
I know that we Adventists have believed - based on some broad assumptions, coupled with a heavy dosage of critical bible scholarship that the pure church was overwhelmed quite early by apostasy - in spite of the fact that Jesus himself said that, "the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." (Matthew 16:18). You would think, if you believe in Sola Scriptura, that there would always be a well documented group of Christians that one could point to and say that they might reflect the true 1st Century Church.
As noted earlier, there are several ancient Christian groups to look towards, and many of these earliest expressions of the faith do have greater or lesser forms of vestigial Sabbatarianism - but they have a lot more that gives that Sabbatarianism an appropriate context.
Having been an Adventist that lost his faith, and then found it again in Orthodox Soteriology, only to discover that there was this vestigial sabbath observance within, made the Orthodox Church feel even more right. I only regret that what could have been a bridge, has been made a gate by rabid scholars looking to make a point, rather than to try to understand the context.
In the end, I guess I understand the blow-back I've been getting from the Eastern Orthodox writers that I love and admire. At some point you get tired of trying to make distinctions and you end up just saying, "NO !" I think it incredibly ironic that for an organization who thinks that the Sabbath shouldn't be forgotten, it is that group who's becoming most responsible for it's eradication in the few places where it may be understood within its appropriate context.
At this point I'm beginning to wonder if The Great and Holy Sabbath will disappear someday (It was celebrated this year on Saturday, May 1, 2021) - just because of all the baggage we Adventists bring to the discussion.
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fyexo · 4 years
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EXO's Kai Talks Independence, Motivation And His Incredible Career
There’s the saying that you’ve made it into the upper echelons of fame when you achieve single-name status. Monikers like Beyoncé, Ariana Grande, and Billie Eilish ring a bell for they’ve relentlessly dominated not just the music charts, but pop culture, fashion and news in general. Then there’s also Kai. The 26-year-old main dancer of popular K-pop boy group EXO and a member of global K-pop boyband SuperM, beloved for his powerful moves, and experimental style — read: crop tops — that challenges the traditional markers of masculinity.
Today, it’s clear that the space Kai inhabits has only gotten bigger since his debut eight years ago, most recently wearing the hat of Gucci’s first-ever Korean male global ambassador — dismantling cultural boundaries and parlaying the mononym, Kai, beyond the K-Pop realm. In this cover interview, the superstar chats candidly about going global, being independent, and why he felt like he needed an Instagram account.
Some time ago you revealed the results of your personality test on Instagram live. With regard to the question “Have you wondered about your existence?”, you answered that you have.
I think I have always thought about the question, “Why was I born?”. Also, I often wonder about questions like, “Why am I not born as someone else but as me; is the world I see through my eyes different from another person’s point of view?”
You revealed that you have an INFJ personality type based on the MBTI — it seems quite accurate.
I don’t really remember my result, so I plan to take it again. My family has taken it too, and after seeing my mum’s result I thought it seemed like a very credible test [laughs]. My mum is a dreamer. Even before I debuted, she said, “You like to dress up, and because I brought you up in that way you are definitely going to have something to do with fashion brands in the future.” Naturally, when I became a Gucci ambassador, she was ecstatic.
Your Instagram feed’s theme is filled with “EXO”, “family” and “Gucci”.
I created my account in 2018 when I was having a shoot with ELLE for Gucci’s Cruise show. I’ve always known that social media was important, but I really felt that even more when a lot of celebrities asked for my account during the show.
You participated in the filming of a global eyewear campaign that was revealed not too long ago in the Amoeba Music store in Los Angeles. Was it a special experience for you as a musician?
Of course, it was supposed to be closed down and so the fact that I managed to take pictures and create memories of that historical place made me feel happy and blessed. The production crew were all non-Koreans, and the atmosphere at the location was different as well so it was all very nerve-racking. I felt like I had gone back in time to when I first debuted.
Even Kai gets nervous. Have you had any other similar experiences when a location you liked disappeared or closed down?
The old SM building I grew up in when I was a trainee and formed so many memories [at] just recently underwent some remodeling works. The rooftop and a few other spaces where I spent so much of my time have all disappeared. Those were places that meant so much to me, so with the new changes made, I was able to actually realise how much time has passed.
There are many people with a good [sense of] style. [Your] outstanding point is that when you try out different styles, it doesn’t seem foreign [to you].
I think that cool and pretty things can be captured easily but capturing a specific concept — in terms of fashion — can be a difficult feat. I use that mentality as an excuse to try out different styles of fashion that I would not have dared to in my daily life, such as the reggae hairstyle that I did in Growl, or the short crop jacket that I wore during my promotions for Obsession. I think two weeks is more than enough to prepare and try out new things [laughs].
You have made appearances in variety programmes such as Knowing Brothers and Radio Star last year. Were these experiences enjoyable?
Thanks to the humorous moments that came about, I actually received many offers from other shows. However, I was worried that the Kai that I portray on stage could be hindered by my different sides shown on TV, and that it might be difficult for anyone to focus on my performances due to the drastic differences.
I can’t not mention SuperM’s group promotions. Three different groups under SM came together to form this sub-unit, as part of a project!
When EXO went on our American tours, we experienced that culturally, races and traditions had been blurred. I could feel that there was less of a “line” separating us. I was able to approach fans more easily; I don’t think there’s a limit to K-Pop. I don’t need to deliberately mention the [global] success of Parasite. The fact that I became the global ambassador of Gucci eyewear proves that race does not matter at all, but it’s more about one’s talents and charisma.
Personally, I felt the progress of K-Pop after watching the safety briefing videos that SuperM and BoA shot together for Korean Airlines.
I am too shy to watch it, but I did receive a lot of video stills of myself from my friends and they didn’t look good at all. They keep sending me parts where I look bad [laughs].
Due to your performances and dancing, I think the pressure on the stage is incredible.
Usually I don’t have much worries, stress, or even anger, but it’s different right before going up on stage. I get so stressed to the point it can be tiring. Honestly, waking up at six in the morning with hardly any sleep just to pre-record our performances for music shows — it sounds impossible. I’m only able to show 20 per cent of my all and that is really sad. Last year was such a busy year, I hardly had any time to recharge myself nor did I feel I was ready to stand on stage, but the show still had to go on. I was not fully satisfied with the performances as a dancer, but it just has to be endured.
What are the reasons that you are able to carry on despite all the difficulties?
The contentment after I get things done, and the comfort that I was able to pull through. On the other hand, I think the sincerity I feel towards everything I do and the constant ambition to do things better is a huge motivation and a relief when I accomplish it. If I don’t feel this way, it will mean that this work no longer means as much as it did to me in the past. Showing my fans the best version of myself, and the comfort and happiness I feel when I’m contented with my performance or work, is really important to me. In the past I couldn’t even sleep after making one mistake, but I sleep really well now [laughs].
And dancing is still something you enjoy?
I’ve been dancing for almost 20 years now. I can’t not dance. Even when I was young, I’d dance everywhere and anywhere, to the extent my mum said, “Stop dancing, it’s embarrassing.”
It’s well known that you have some really special and tight relationships with a few people around you. Do you get any inspiration from their advice, or from their influence?
I’m not the type to ask for advice from anyone first. Even when I ask what’s the better of two choices, I already have an answer [that I’ve] decided on in my mind. I’ve always felt that I needed to be independent; to [think for myself] when I decide, in order to be able to say that it is “mine”.
So, you’re a man of few words around people.
If they want me to be. If necessary, I will say good things, but more [so] the realistic point of view. I always think of the worst possible situation before saying anything [when giving advice], so those who know me well will not ask me trivial questions. When things go south or important decisions to be made, they will look for me. As for myself, I humbly listen to criticism or harsh words.
“Sexy” and “beautiful” are words that you probably hear a lot, but your fans call you “cute”. Which sides of yourself do you think are cute?
None! Even if I have thought of myself as cute, I won’t say it or admit it [laughs].
There are many people who idolise you as they see you as an iconic person. Does [the phrase] “a symbolic beauty of youth” or any other nicknames that you carry, feel a little too exaggerated?
Everyone views me differently, so I can’t say that it’s burdensome or exaggerated. Instead, I’m thankful. I don’t want to think of these nicknames or titles consciously as I live my life. Like, “Oh since they call me this, I should try to behave a little more as such”. I only want to show my true self without having other considerations — always.
What do you consider to be beautiful?
Definitely cool clothes, sculptures, drawings and paintings. When I look at some really good-looking people, I feel that that is beauty too. But personally, I think that true beauty lies in moments. Past memories and ordinary moments that when you look back, [you] realise that what you felt back then was more beautiful and precious than any other happiness that you’ve experienced.
A line from the drama The Miracle We Met pops into my mind — “Memory isnot [just] a record of time, but [is always]accompanied by emotions. That’s something surprising we never expect.”
Good memories always bring back rushing emotions, regardless of when you look back at it. That is really beautiful, and that is why I really love watching movies with film static noise, as it seems like I’m looking into someone’s memories.
Your name Jong (鍾) comes from“iron drum bell” and In (仁) comes from “benevolent”. Your grandfather named you that, which means to be as benevolent as the person who rings the morning bell. Throughout your life, have you ever thought about the meaning behind your name?
Hmmm, firstly, I’m not a morning person [laughs], but hitting the bell at dawn means to be of use to someone and to [have] more initiative, so I do want to live up to that and inspire others. Perhaps I could already be doing just that, I’m not sure.
I’m sure you’ve garnered plenty of praise for your dance techniques, but the shoot today focused quite a bit on your looks too. Which feature of yours do you like?
I do like to think that I have my own attractive features, like my small ears or a round bear like nose which most would say is so-so — but I still like them. If I really had to choose, it would be my chin and eyebrows for now. I think these two features make up 80 per cent of my defining look.
What does family mean to you?
Family is family. There may be no one in the world who will be completely on my side, but my family will still accept me as I am. I grew up happily with two siblings, and so if I were to have a family of my own, I always thought three kids would be just nice. But now when I look at my sister struggling with childcare, I realised it’s definitely not something to think lightly of. My family members are also my seniors (sunbae) in life.
Your eight-year anniversary is coming up soon, and you’ve probably been through many hardships. Do you think it is necessary for a person to go through pain to mature?
Looking back now, not all hardships have changed my nature; I personally don’t see the need for a person to go through change and pain in order to mature. But you know there is going to be a tough time for everyone at least once in their lifetime, and it’s not so bad a thing to be positive and think of precious things to get through it. Most importantly, just because you’re going through something difficult doesn’t mean you should hate yourself or be hard on yourself, because the most precious thing in the world is yourself.
Some may look at you and think that you’ve got it all. In spite of this, is there still anything that you wish to have, and is there a further goal you have in mind?
Before my debut, I had a lot of ambitions but the Kai I am today doesn’t have anything else I could wish for. I don’t think the place I am today is my final station but even if it is, I would be okay with that. Even if my debut was the end, I am proud of the life I’ve led, and I would be super proud of whatever I do. I am able to say this confidently because I learnt that the more fixated I am on something, the less happy I am. I learnt that it is better to focus on and enjoy the present; to enjoy doing what you do.
What type of person do you hope to be to your loved ones?
There is only one thing I wish for and that is for them to always be by my side no matter what decisions I make. Likewise, I will do the same.
SOURCE: Elle Singapore June 2020
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doomedeternal · 4 years
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The “Counterphobic 6″ vs. 8 Conundrum
So this was the thing I wrote after a typing session that finally cleared my accurate Enneagram type. Basically this details the key distinctions between Type 8 and a more “counterphobic” variety of Type 6.
Let’s get all the introductions out of the way: I’m an SP/SO 6w5 with 683 fixes, which puts me in the same caliber as dickheads, douchebags, and dictators.
I also happened to mistype as an 8 (which wing depends on the time of day) for a while until I swapped that card over for a new, shiny 6w5 card.
With this humble piece, I hope to share my story of mistyping, clarity, and in the end, shed some light on the differences between 6 and 8 from the point of view of someone who has fallen into that very same mistyping trap.
MY MISTYPING HELL
I got into the Enneagram through a friend and after a few attempts of testing and conversations with a couple of friends to gauge some observations, I typed myself as an 8, and off I went (I swung between both wings but I didn’t understand why at this point).
As I went deeper into studying the Enneagram, I came across the concept of “phobic” and “counterphobic” when it comes to Type 6. At some point in my deep dive, a lot of the “counterphobic” descriptions hit a nerve a little too close for comfort, and started having doubts about my core type.
That’s where I hit Google and attempted to seek answers to my little conundrum. Unfortunately, instead of finding answers, I found mostly the following:
Half-baked descriptions of both 6 and 8 that never got to the core of either type
Circlejerk threads of 6s (mostly men) posturing themselves as Eights and digging their heels when questioned about the possibility of mistyping
The branding of 6 (especially those who lean towards counterphobia) as “Wannabe 8s”, which has some anecdotal origins, but it loses the essence Sixes have that’s unique to the type.
And many others…
Yet despite all that, I held on to my 8 typing for dear life, while still open to the possibility of mistyping. It’s a walking contradiction of sorts, but such is the life of a Six.
FINDING CLARITY
During my time studying the Enneagram, I came across this site called Enneagrammer, and along with it the Big Hormone Enneagram podcasts. As I pursued all this information, I’ve gained even more clarity about the various types and their relationships with each other in a way I’ve never understood it before.
Despite all that, the question remained: Am I a 6 or an 8?
In a last-ditch attempt to find answers, I caved in and purchased a typing video reading. Unfortunately, I submitted mine during a time where a lot of people did and ended up swapping it with an hour-long typing session with Emeka, one of the ad.
I’m glad I did.
Fast-forward to the 30th of October 2020. I had a difficult time sleeping the night before due to a mix of excitement and anxiety. Thankfully it was first thing in the morning so once I got up and freshened myself up, we started the typing session.
Not even 15 minutes in, the distinction was clear as day.
Emeka explaining how 6 operates, and how my wing, fixes, and stacking interacted to form the full picture of my type felt like someone read my deepest, darkest secrets. It’s like when you’re on stage and your pants fell off in front of an entire audience, but at the same time, it’s in a way validating in an “I feel seen” type of way.
My full type from my 5 wing, assertive fixes, and self-preservation stacking makes for a more “grounded”, earthy flavor of the 6 (as opposed to many type 6 descriptions which appear to have 6w7 in mind). Unless people know what to look for, I can look like a gut type at first glance.
Despite what appearances and first impressions show, the “counterphobic” 6 (who are probably likely to be 8-fixed 6s) have some significant key differences that distinguish them from true 8s.
AGGRESSION AND REACTIVITY
Both 6 (especially 8-fixed 6) and 8 can be aggressive and territorial. As both types reside on the Reactive triad, they’re both intense types who aren’t afraid to let other people know about how they feel about something.
The key difference between both is the motivation behind the aggression.
For starters, the 8 brand of aggression focuses on creating their reality through action and expansion. This makes for a calmer, more deliberate, more shameless type of expressing themselves due to the lack of superego influence.
6’s aggression, on the other hand, happens as a response to the swinging pendulum in their head (or “splitting”) and is usually a cover for deep-seated anxiety. The thing with 6 most of the time is that we don’t even know that we’re anxious – the underlying anxiety is the baseline.
As a 5-wing, my way to seek certainty is to hoard information and devise structures to give me that map. Sometimes it gets to a point where I haven't taken certain factors into consideration (especially because...people are people, and can be unpredictable). When surprises happen, my first instinct is to push on as a reaction to those surprises (because reactive type), which is where the aggression comes from.
It takes a lot of self-reflection and insight to get out of this trap, but with some work and self-reflection, it can be done.
HEAD VS. GUT
All Head types attempt to find a way to orient themselves, frame reality as they know it, and concoct a narrative that makes sense to them, as distorted as the result would be. For the 6, this comes in the form of “what ifs” and worst-case-scenarios.
The 6 is most especially in tune with the nuts and bolts of the systems that matter to them the most. They would be the first people to spot if something is off, which makes them excellent troubleshooters, problem solvers, and project managers.
6’s signature ambivalence leads them to find rational ways to prove a point. For one that’s mistyping as an 8, this can look like trying to create scenarios and reasons to convince others that they’re an 8, which is even more proof of the mistyping at hand.
8s, on the other hand, are the system. They would just chuck everything out, push their way into things, and rewrite reality as it suits them regardless of health level.
INSTINCTUAL STACKING MYTHS
There’s also a pervasive myth in online typology circles that “counterphobic” 6 can only be sexual types. As a self-preservation 6, I can tell you off the bat that this couldn’t be way more off-base and is one of the primary reasons I mistyped as an 8 for so long.
“Counterphobic” 6s can be of any instinctual stacking. The notion that they can only be sexual types can only operate under the assumption that 6 can only be phobic or counterphobic, which is counter to the signature duality of the type.
6 phobia and counterphobia lie on a spectrum. How an individual 6 reacts depends on the person and situation. What the stacking tells you is what instinct this duality is most especially apparent.
For me as a self-preservation 6, this happens when self-preservation issues of health, finances, and lifestyle are at stake. This especially makes me extremely controlling and territorial of my space and any “intrusion” will send the alarm bells.
The main distinction with the 8-fixed 6 brand of boundary defense compared to that of the 8 (which is a more offensive-centric type) is that we tend to be much more vigilant of the boundary and pre-emptively strike before you even cross the line.
ATTACHMENT VS. REJECTION
The final key difference between 6 and 8 lies in one being an attachment type (6) and the other a rejection type (8).
6 (even with assertive and rejection fixes), for all their bluffing and blustering, are at the core attachment types. Whether we’re aware of it or not, as attachment types we have the need to be connected to “The Grid” (whether it’s people, systems, or anything that connects us to the world at large).
This gives us 6s a “testy” quality. We test and probe the people we interact with and change course depending on their reaction. Kind of like how our image-focused 3 siblings do except the reason why we do this is to help us orient the compass rather than craft the best image for the job (that is get the most value).
Meanwhile, 8s, their forceful action is a form of separation and dissociation from “The Grid". As rejection types, they assume right off the bat that they’re going to be rejected and thus offer their strength and willpower as they reject their vulnerability.
THE POWER OF WINGS AND FIXES
Like all attachment types, a 6 core is a “blank canvas” that gains its color and shape based on the wing, fixes, and instinctual stacking.If the core type, wing, and stacking are the main colors, the gut fix are the shadows, and the heart fix are the highlights.
6w5, specifically (due to the influence of the withdrawn, competency-focused 5) tend to be more private, cynical, and “grounded” than the 6w7 and can look like an 8 at first glance. This could all be just me projecting my experiences on to you, but that’s for you to decide.
A 6w7, on the other hand, tends to have more scattered energy due to the 7 mix. This makes for a more optimistic, emotional brand of the type that tends to mistype as 2, 4, or 9.
The narratives of “fighting for the underdog” and “toughening themselves up” usually attributed to 8s are more appropriate to the type 6 (I mean, 6w5 specifically is named The Defender, for God’s sake). More so because we have the hardest time accessing our courage.
Because how do we do the thing when we don’t know what the thing looks like?
What gut fix the 6 has adds striking color to the type: 9-fixed and 1-fixed 6s deal with underlying anxiety by mostly withdrawing from the source (9-fix) or contorting themselves to a standard in the attempt to quell the fear (1-fix).
8-fixed 6s? We just huff, puff, and take action to get it over with.
An 8 fix gives the 6 the license to “be” a 6 and wear the "ping-pong" game on their sleeve. The 6 “Inner Committee” (as Riso brands it) has a meeting every single time we make a decision, and for those of up with 8 fixes, it’s like telling them to shut the fuck up and stomping out in a huff to do the damn thing.
Because of this, an 8-fixed 6 will look more like the 8 stereotypes than an actual 8. 8-cores tend to be much better at picking their battles and knowing when to drop it when something is not worth it to them.’
The heart fix adds yet another dimension to the 6. Adding a 4 heart fix will make the 6-8 even more reactive and “raw”, whereas a 3 heart fix gives the 6-8 stem more tact and an emphasis on “reacting to get a certain reaction”. A 2 heart fix makes for a more people-focused, overbearing parent-figure type of quality.
The 6 can be many things, but “mediocre” and “same-y” is definitely not one of them.
WHY THE CONFUSION AND WHY ADDRESS IT?
Now that we have the differences out of the way, it’s good to ask, “If the differences are clear, why are people confusing the two types anyway?”
The distinction between 6s and 8s has been a subject of online debate since time immemorial. Based on my observations and experience, this is due to several things:
Confusing descriptions that end up adding more questions than answers. We’ve seen this happen with type 4 vs. 9 (another common mistyping), and unfortunately, some discussions blur the distinction for 6 vs. 8 even further.
A society that reveres certain types of strength more than others. This is how many (mostly male, based on observation) 6s posture themselves to the idealized, “powerful” version of the 8 without taking into consideration the dark side of the type.
The bad rep attachment types in general get. For all the pitfalls of 6, they also have their own strengths other types can learn from like loyalty, insight, and anti-elitism.
Defining the distinction between types helps people genuinely see themselves for what they are, warts and all, and helps lay the foundation for fruitful, meaningful inner work that gets us out the trappings of type and connect in a truly authentic way, no matter what type you are.
It gives the space to respond instead of reaching for the first instinct without a care for how it affects the big picture, and for the 6, it serves as the orienting needed to set the course and open up to other possibilities.
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one-leaf-grimoire · 3 years
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“triad”
Chapter 8: the septad
In this chapter you can find discussion of fate, the Tree of Qliphoth, and... a moth goddess?!
AO3 link
Dear Lyra,
I’m sorry for being so out of touch lately. To be fair, it wasn’t entirely my fault, since this recent incident basically halted all mail movement around the kingdom. However, I got your most recent letter today, and I’m so glad that you and the others are safe! And it seems the town suffered minimal damage, and you were able to take down the one attacker all together. 
Anyway… I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now. I would have invited you all to my coronation, but it was all over so fast, there was hardly time to plan a trip. Plus, the castle and capitol is still in shambles, so it wouldn’t have been fun. Don’t worry- I’m alright, with many friends and advisors by my side. I’ll have time to be sad once the situation has stabilized, whenever that will be.
Please write back soon. I miss you.
Love…
My pen pauses above the page before I sign my name.
Should I tell her… about the baby?
After a moment, I move again. My name appears, then is quickly concealed as I fold the letter up. 
“Are you almost done?” Marx pokes his head into my office, just in time to see me press my finger into a disc of wax and start to heat it up. “Oh, you are. You wanted to head out soon, right?”
“Right!” I watch the wax melt, then shake the excess off of my finger. “As soon as you send this off, I want to leave.” I grab one of the seals sitting on the desk, the official seal of the Wizard King, and press it into the wax. “Hopefully this won’t take long… they either have the information I need or they don’t.”
I stand up, holding the sealed letter out for him to take. Marx quickly receives it, waves his hand, and sends out a signal. Within seconds, a small portal appears at his side; belonging to one of our many postal mages downstairs. He throws the letter inside, and that’s that. “There we are. Now, where’s Adeline?”
“She’s delivering orders to the squads,” I tell him, motioning for him to follow me out of the office and down the hall. “She’ll be back soon, we’ll probably run into her on our way out.”
“Oh, good!” Marx smiles a little, his eyes narrowing. “You know, I’m sorry for being so hesitant about her… she ended up being very efficient and hard-working. Although, I can’t blame her-” He glances over at the back of my head. “She’s devoted to you entirely… as far as she’s concerned, you saved her life.”
“Well, that’s what a good leader should do, right? Find talent, in unexpected places, and bring it into the light.” 
That’s what Julius would have done, anyway.
Just as I predicted, we run into Adeline a few minutes later. She skids to a stop in front of us, out of breath from her previous chore, but a big smile appears on her face as she spots us. “Your majesty! And- Marx!” She quickly bows her head out of respect. “I’ve completed the task you gave me!”
“Please, no more your majesty! I like you enough that you can call me by my real name.” Adeline looks up in time to see me shoot her a little wink. “Thanks for doing that, now come on!”
Adeline quickly joins my side, and before long the three of us reach an open window. Marx immediately winces. “Oh no… you can’t possibly-”
“It’s the quickest way! Come on!” I grab his hand and hold the other out to Adeline. “Hold on tight, alright? It’ll just last a couple seconds.”
Her eyes widen, but she nods quickly and takes my arm. Without another moment passing, I turn back towards the window.
“Flame Creation Magic: Sun God’s Leap.”
Tiny wings burst to life around my elbows and ankles, fluttering delicately but with more power than ever before. This is my only flight spell, and when paired with my time acceleration, there’s no way to travel any faster. 
“Here we go!”
I push off the ground, and the three of us shoot off out of the window. Marx and Adeline both hold on tighter, Adeline letting out a little scream of surprise. Land and air courses past our bodies, faster and faster, the feeling so familiar. I can remember it… just like it was yesterday. The first time Julius showed me his power… I was going to be late coming back to the base, and he just swept me up and- in a moment, we were there.
Those simple days… what I wouldn’t give to have them back. When my biggest worry was whether or not Julius liked me back. 
Because… of course he did. It was so obvious, even back then… we were meant to be together.
A few seconds later, we crash down to earth, a little less elegantly than usual since I have two passengers. The moment I let go, Marx stumbles away, extremely dizzy, but Adeline keeps clutching at me, stunned and dazed by the experience. “W-W-Wow…” she stutters, blinking owilishly. “That was… really… cool…”
“Ah, thanks-” I cut myself off when I realize just how… close she is. Adeline is a good few inches taller than me, and having her pressed against me like this. “Ah- er- Adeline-” I feel my ears start to heat up. “Do you think you could-”
“OH! Sorry!” She lets go and steps back, seemingly back to normal. “Thanks for the ride… now…” She turns to look around. We’re standing outside a small town, a very humble town in the middle of nowhere. This place is close to the border with the Heart Kingdom, the land fertile and rich with natural mana. This is where the remnants of the Simulcian race live… where my family lives. “This is the place?”
“It sure is.” I suck in a breath, a little worried about what was to come. “Now.. don’t be frightened by them. They’re going to be nosy, and they don’t really understand personal space,” I explain as we start to walk. “They’re all brothers and sisters, making them my aunts and uncles.”
“Right… and, what exactly do we need from them again?” Adeline asks.
“They could have information about the Devils- don’t you remember that big lecture I gave you about it yesterday?”
Adeline laughs nervously. “Oh, right… ah, to be honest, there was so much information, and I’m sure I forgot some of it-”
“Nevermind, I’ll tell you later.” She’s honest though, at least…. I sigh heavily.  About most things. I can’t help but remember our first meeting, that look of surprise on her face, and those words-
“Your eyes…”
Well, if she was off-put by these eyes of mine, then she’s got a big shock coming…
“OH! LOOK! IT’s OUR NIECE!”
And… here they are.
A small crowd of people run up to us as we reach the town. All of them look a bit like me, with slightly varying shades of hair. However, all of them seem to be about my age, and all of them have the same, empty black irises. When they were united into Septads, those eyes glowed an eerie blueish white. “Hey guys… long time no see?”
A few pairs of hands immediately grab my arms, just like I anticipated, and start to drag me away, all chatting all at once.
“A visit from our Wizard King!”
“The first Foreign Wizard King!”
“This is a great victory for the Simulcians!”
“The first non-human Wizard King!”
“We’ll have to build a statue of you next!”
Luckily, they ignore Adeline and Marx, who jog behind us. Adeline looks a bit worried about me, but Marx is used to this by now. “Hmm? Statue?” I repeat, still trying to get used to this newfound hospitality. 
“Oh, right! Come look at our most recent project!” one of my uncles says excitedly. “We had to put it on hold after the attack, but it still looks great so far!”
Huh? I wonder what it might be-
We turn the corner to enter the “town square,” and the hands finally release me. “Don’t run off like that!” Marx scolds, hurrying up to my side with Adeline. What? It’s not like I had a choice! I almost respond, but Adeline catches my attention when her eyes widen. “W-what is that supposed to be?”
Hmm? I turn to follow her gaze, finally spotting the unfinished statue in the middle of the square. It’s made of wood, part of it painted dark blue, but it looks like it’s been on hold for a long time. I recognized the figure immediately. “Oh… this is your deity, isn’t it?”
“Yep!” an aunt answers in unison with a few others. “Aren’t they beautiful! Simulcia, in all her glory…”
The populace of the Clover Kingdom tends to believe in God. Churches and convents are located in almost every town, and most people worship in their own homes. My mother made me and my cousins go to church every week, but I never really absorbed any of it. Maybe I was trying to emulate my father, who never joined us for worship. Little did I know, even he must have had some underlying allegiance to… her. 
If the concept of God is ridiculous to me, then it’s even harder for me to believe in Simulcia. According to my family, she was a giant woman who took the form of a moth. Parts of that are evident on the statue; her inhuman face, her tall, feathered antennae. She had wings, too, but they haven’t gotten around to carving those yet. Her two giant eyes are painted black. The finishing touches are her marks, seven of them, carved into her palms, her knees, her stomach, her heart, and finally, her forehead. Apparently she broke into seven parts upon her death, and is the “mother” of all Simulcians. I’m not exactly sure how accurate all this is…
“A… a pagan god?!” I look over to see Adeline staring at the statue again, looking very distrubed. “You didn’t tell me they were pagans!”
“Pagan?” I repeat, for some reason finding this kind of funny. “Adeline, it’s fine… they’ve been worshipping that goddess longer than the Kingdom worshipped their God.”
“I know… but-” Adeline finally looks over at me. “Their?”
“Ah, You know, I don’t believe in God or that thing- I mean, Simulcia. So what does that make me?”
Adeline opens her mouth to answer, but she can’t. She’s probably lived a very sheltered life... I chuckle before turning to my family once again. “Well, if it isn’t too much trouble, may we stay for lunch.”
“Of course!!! We’ve got plenty of potatoes!”
“Oh… great!”
The Simulcian Colony works day in and day out, using all their mana to produce nutritious crops… mainly potatoes. The crops get sent out to poor areas, so the operation is going full throttle now more than any other time. The potatoes are good, I can’t deny it, but they taste earthy, almost tangy. But they’re moist and rich in mana, so I don’t complain when it’s the only thing I’m served at lunch. The whole town is extremely communal, so everyone is gathered here to eat. There’s about 40 of them living here, all chatting together in small circles as I sit down with Adeline and Marx to eat.
“With respect, we didn’t come here to socialize-” Marx reminds me, glancing around, clearly a little uncomfortable.
“I know, I know, I’m going to ask right now,” I whisper, turning to smile at some of my aunts as they suddenly come and sit down near us. “Hi! So, about this visit-”
“Is this about the Curse in the Heart Kingdom?” one of them cuts me off, already chewing a mouthful of food.
I blink, a little stunned by the quick response. “Kind of… wait, how do you even know about that?”
The aunts share a little look, holding back a chuckle. “You didn’t feel it? My, your human genes are really strong, aren’t they?”
Huh? I repress a frown, a familiar sense of unease permeating my heart. Marx gulps quietly, and Adeline stares at me like I’ve grown another head. They had to bring it up now, didn’t they? Ah- I clear my throat. “So, Simulcians can sense Devil Curses?”
They all nod in unison. “Yes! We just know it’s there, not anything else though.”
“Oh, well…”
I quickly explain the situation to them: the Attack in six months, the Devil Megicula’s link to the Heart Kingdom, and Zagred’s reaction to me. “Hmm… a link between SImulcians and Devils…?” One of my aunts taps her chin as she thinks, her eyes not betraying her inner thoughts. “Well… we wouldn’t know anything about that off the tops of our heads. That would be ancient knowledge… because the last time we would have contacted Devils is during the last opening of the Tree.”
The phrase catches my attention. “Tree? What Tree?”
“The Tree! The Tree of Qliphoth!” Even the name sends an unpleasant shiver down my back. “It was millenia ago… but the channel between this world and the underworld was opened, and Devils reigned destruction upon the Earth!” My other aunts nod along in unison. “However, I don’t think our history went back that far… we didn’t move to our island until after… huh…” Her brow furrows in concentration as I stare in shock, not sure what to make of this new information. The Tree of Qliphoth… that sounds bad. How come I’ve never heard of it before? If Devils really reigned destruction upon the world, that should be big news… unless it was so long ago that it was erased from written memory… and yet…
“So…” I catch the attention of my aunts once I speak again. “You knew that… you’re able to subconsciously delve into Simulcian history, right?” I smile a little, feeling hopeful. “If you remembered something about the Tree, then Simulcians must have been around during its opening, right?”
To my surprise, they shake their heads. “Not necessarily… I thought you would understand by now.” My aunt motions out the door, towards the time square. “Our power comes from our shared consciousness… her consciousness. She broke herself apart, but she still exists in us. In you.” She reaches out and grabs my shoulder. “Your Dyad… a Dyad concentrates the entire consciousness into two people. She was a goddess of fate, and her power concentrated fate into you and Julius…” Her voice trails off as she feels me tense up at the mention of that name. “I’m sorry-”
“No, no, it’s fine!” I shake my head and give her a smile. “Tell me more… do you think I could tap into that history?”
“Maybe…” Her eyes light up. “Maybe, if you get into a Septad, you can uncover the information you seek!”
Uh oh- The last time I entered a Septad, it didn’t end well… You probably remember. Well, if it’s the easiest way to get information…
“Fine, I’ll do it.”
I feel someone tug on my sleeve, and I look down to see Adeline looking up at me with concern. “Um… I don’t really understand what any of you are talking about, but… uh… is this… safe?”
… oh, Adeline… I don’t have any idea.
“Yeah, sure!” I give her a thumbs up. “I’ve done it before, don’t worry!”
Well, that’s not a lie.
Adeline’s worry melts into a smile. A very… cute smile.
She was worried about me…
“Good! I’m sure you’ll be fine!”
My aunts take my hand and drag me away. The rest of them have already stood up, clearing an area in the middle of the room. Six women already stand there, as if they knew what we meant to do. I recognize them immediately- they’re the six Simulcians that I was forced to synchronize with, to form a Septad. Just seeing them, and being close to them… I feel a spark of mana in my forehead, as if it yearned to be together with someone again… anyone. 
“...hi…” I laugh awkwardly as I shed my cloak and pull out my Grimoire. “Can I do it? So I can break it when we’re done.” I don’t expect to get trapped again, but I’m not taking any chances.
The six of them nod all at once, giving me identical smiles. These six were together for years, and now they operate like they’re all one unit. “Ok… let’s go then.”
My Grimoire floats up, and I utter the spell.
“Dyad magic… Septad Creation!”
All at once, our marks start to glow, and I feel the mana start to cycle around. Faster and faster, so fast that it seems to inhabit us all at once. It’s not nearly as powerful as a Dyad, but I still have to plant my feet into the ground and will my hands to keep from shaking. The other's eyes start to glow a whitish-blue, the same light overtaking my own vision. The room melts away, and then-
Darkness.
This place… is really the mind of an ancient goddess? I don’t get it… so she really did exist?
...are you here?
There’s not even a whisper of a soul left. Just an empty mind, pinned here against the tides of time and space, entrusted to a doomed race of people.
But… are there memories here?
The earth quakes, and I feel the bond start to slip.
What?! Already! I’m not that weak, I should be able to last longer than this!
FInally, the tremor stops. 
Good… now… someone…
Show me a Devil.
I’m not sure what I expected to see, but a scene finally fades in. I look around, spotting the setting sun over the mountains to the west. There’s buildings close by, familiar buildings.
This is… Raque?
But, there aren’t any devils here! This is modern day… I need something farther back in time! So-
I’m cut off as I hear a familiar voice.
“Look at it… the sea… it’s so beautiful.”
I turn towards the source, and spot two people sitting in the sand, staring out at the dark waves. The blackness of the water, so deep and mysterious, so cold… just like their identical black eyes.
This is… this…
It’s the Dyad. My grandparents. They sit here, hand in hand, staring at the sea.
What is this… are they supposed to be the Devils? Or is this something completely unrelated-
“Oh! Look!”
My grandmother’s gaze is caught by something to her right. She points, and both my and grandpa look.
“I see…”
A moth flits towards them, riding the sea breeze with delicate grace.
“That’s it then… it’s her.”
A moth… 
Simulcia?
The moth continues its slow approach.
“So… that’s it, then.”
My grandpa’s words echo in my ears. The scene melts away once again.
“Our fate.”
The void begins to shake once again. I try and reach out to the others as they tremble away from me, farther and farther, stretching our link so far it might snap.
Wait! What’s wrong? Why is this hurting you?
I can’t reach them. They disappear, and a blinding light shoots through my body.
I don’t understand… what was that supposed to mean?
I blink, and I’m back in the room with everyone. I almost fall over once my consciousness is restored, but Marx and Adeline catch me. “Oh god! Are you alright?”
“Huh? Yeah!” I nod vaguely in response to Adeline’s question. “I don’t get it though, I…”
My voice trails off as I spot the other six women. 
All of them have fallen to the ground, crumpled into little heaps. And each one of them holds their face in their hands, tears and sobs flowing freely.
I watch in silence, my mind reeling from this sudden turn of events.
Wait… so… the reason the bond was broken was because they were being hurt… not me? But why? 
One of them lets out a shriek, and inhuman, emotionless scream.
Why… w-why…
I know what they saw within me. They saw the void: a deep, insurmountable gap, one that I’m slowly but surely sinking into. A darkness deeper than any on this earth, a cold more piercing than a thousand knives. 
But… I don’t see it.
As long as I keep my sight fixed on the light above… as long as I keep moving forward… I will drag myself out.
So… for now… I won’t look down.
It takes a while for things to settle down, so we just sit awkwardly until the others stop crying and return to normal. “I’m sorry… we ruined that bond,” one of them says, glancing over at me. “I don’t even remember what was so sad… but all at once, I felt like I couldn’t breathe at all.”
“Oh… I-I’m sorry… I don’t know what that was either.” I smile awkwardly and glance at Marx, who still is staring at the ground with a pained expression on his face. Adeline still looks confused. “Well… I guess we shouldn’t try again?”
“I mean, we probably can.” Another one sits up to look at me. “But… we could all feel it; the storm of emotions inside you. You need to learn to quell that storm, to travel to its eye… only within that calm will we be able to fully sink into our consciousnesses.”
I feel a pang of anger. “Quell my storm? I don’t know about that, I think I’ve been handling everything pretty well, considering the circumstances, right Marx?”
There’s no answer. “Marx?” I look over to see him looking like he’s a deer in the headlights. FInally, he shrugs. Great… “ANYWAY- how am I supposed to do that any more than I already am?”
“Meditation!” one of my uncles pipes up. “If you do a little every day, you should be able to clear your subconscious before entering the Septad.”
“Ooh! I meditate all the time!” I look over as Adeline of all people speaks up. “I can teach you, I know I can!”
For some reason, that idea makes me a bit nervous. “Oh…. okay. Well-” I cross my arms and scowl. “I don’t know if it’ll be any help. It kept showing me a scene from just a few years ago, I need something from back when the Tree of Qliphoth was being opened!”
A few of the Simulcians exchange glances before looking at me again. “That might be impossible… you see, no matter how hard we try, it’s still her mind. She only shows us memories she deems important to us.”
“Important to us?! WHy- AH!” My bottled up frustration suddenly bursts out, for just a moment. I ball up my fists under my robe as I keep talking. “I don’t know whether to believe any of this shit anyway… I mean, it all sounds good, but really? A moth goddess is telling me that my grandparents’s little love scene is more important than the DEVILS?!”
My uncle shrugs. “I don’t make the rules… but the sooner you go back, with a clear mind, the sooner it will all be answered.”
I feel a hand on my arm, and once again it’s Adeline, giving me a calming smile. “I got this, okay? When I’m done with you, you’ll be able to do this with no problem!”
“You can do this! I know you can. You’re the strongest person I know, after all!”
For some reason, her words do the impossible. I feel a strange… peace within me. For a brief moment, the void ceases to scare me.
“...ok. I’ll do it.” 
I let out a deep sigh before looking back at my family. “Thank you… we’ll be back soon, is that okay?”
“Of course!” They all answer at once, a little enthusiastic. “We can’t wait to see you again!”
“Good!” I manage to smile. “Marx, Adeline… lets go.”
We leave soon after, but those brief moments within the Septad still stick with me. One sentence in particular circles my mind, the soothing, accepting tones of my grandmother’s voice springing up more and more questions in its wake.
“That’s it then… our fate.”
Next time! Chapter 9: the long night. Adeline begins her crash course in meditation, but derails it when she starts talking about the stars. Maybe... maybe there IS something special about her. :)
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ladywinterwitch · 4 years
Text
Run Away (Two - I’ll be here)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader
Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.
Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex (f recieving), 18+ (underage shouldn’t be here), angst, sadness, feels, mentions of abandon and orphanages, self doubt, talk of mental health, Steve is a softie, Nat is..well, Nat.
Word Count: 4412 (a little longer than the previous)
A/n: Part two of Run Away. This time we get a bit of background to the reader’s history and why her friendship with Nat is so important. Also, there’s mild talk of mental health. You can find the previous part here, and the series masterlist here.
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                                              (gif not mine)
With the days passing you felt better, emotionally and physically. Talking to Bucky had really been helpful, actually more than you thought possible. He was always by your side, trying to cheer you up and you appreciated that.
You had heard from Steve a couple times on facetime and he looked fine, so you were calm, at least on that side. You put on a brave face, wanting desperatly to tell him how much you missed him, but you contained yourself, not wanting him to feel bad or get worried.
Then Bruce called you for the second visit, so you went straight to the lab first thing in the morning. Alone. Bucky said that wanted to be at your side, considering that Steve wasn't there, but you preferred to do this alone. It was way too intimate. You weren’t sure you would’ve been completely comfortable doing this even with Steve.
You joined Bruce and he prepared everything before making you lay on the medic couch. The visit was over even before you realized that it began. You got dressed and waited for Bruce to tell you to go, but he didn't. He was sitting at the computer, examinating intently the screen.
-Y/n, please, sit. I have a few things to say.- he asked politely. You did, with a grip on your stomach. He projected the screen as an hologram in front of you.
-So. This,- he pointed at the first photo of an ecography, -Is an example of an healthy uterus, and this one,- another photo appeared next to the other, with a little difference, you could tell, -Is a uterus with a genetical malformation.- he paused, gazed at you for a split second, then another photo made an appearence. It was awfully similiar to the second one. Your stomach dropped.
-Y/n, this is yours. It..it is compleatly accurate, considering we have both ecographies and have been analyzed both by me and my expert friend. It's not an illness or a tumor, just a little malformation, that is not dangerous, but unfortunately does not allow you to have children.- he waited a few seconds. Tears were streaming down your face, but you were silent. You didin't dare to look up.
-I'm sorry. So, so sorry Y/n.- he whispered. You nodded and rose from the chair. Your legs felt like jelly, but you found the strenght to walk to the door.
-Thank you Bruce.- he went to you and circled his arms around your shoulders. You reciprocated the embrace for a few seconds, then pulled away. You needed to go, to run.
-Of course. Y/n, please don't be hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. It's a thing that can happen, it's very unfortunate, but you are okay. You're healthy and that's the important thing, okay?- he said softly. You nodded again and gave him the shadow of a smile, not being able to do more.
So you walked out and went to the elevator. You pressed the button for the terrace. If you wanted to be sure to be left alone you should've gone to your room, but you needed some air.
You arrived and closed your eyes, breathing deeply. Suddenly you put your hands on your face, bursting into tears. You felt awful, and quite guitly too.
Why am I reacting like this? It's not that it had been my greatest drem ever. There are so many people who are doing worse and I'm complaining, even though I'm healthy? That's selfish. I have to be greatful for what I have. Kids? Just something less to worry about. There are so many women that have no kids and have a happy life. Your mind was filled with thoughts. You tought of Natasha, a strong, kind and amazing person. You could be like that, you tought.
But at the same time you couldn't stop thinking that you didn't even had a choice. Steve was a simple man, a family man, under all that Captain America facade. What now that you know that you will never be able to give him one? Being a failure was the main thought in your mind now, more than all the other things. You felt like your world was crumbling and you probably didn't even had the right to feel like that. Too lost in tought, you didn't hear the elevator opening behind you.
-Y/n, doll?- you froze on the spot, turning around. Your husband was a few feet away, still in his suit, shield attached to his back, hair a little messy and a five o'clock beard adorned his jaw and cheekbones. His expression soft. You couldn't help but run to him, latching your arms around his neck, crying. Again.
-Hey, shh, doll. I'm here, it's okay. Please don't cry.- he spoke with such sweetness in his voice that you just wanted to cry more, and never let him go.
He finally convinced you to go inside, so he could change and you two could talk calmly. You stopped crying, but said practically nothing. You just stayed with your cheek on his chest and your arms around his middle.
-
You went to your shared room and you sat on the bed, watching as he took off the shield, then piece by piece the suit. When he was left with just his pants and a white tank top he turned to you and gave you a small smile. You smiled at him too, walking to him. You wanted to kiss him, but when you hugged his torso he jerked a little and you stopped, frowning. You looked down and pulled up his tank top, revealing some little cuts and a bruise on his left side.
-Oh, Steve...-you murmured, taking him to the bathroom. You made him sit on the toilet and grabbed some cotton, hydrogen peroxide and a got the hem of a towel wet with hot water.
You instructed him to take off his top and his suit pants, leving him in just a pair of black boxers. You kneeled in front of him and pured some hydrogened water on the cotton, then placed a hand on his side to soothe him while you patted the fluffy material on his bruises.
He didn't even flinch. And you realized that he was being very quiet. He was never quiet, so you understood that he probably felt that something was off with you.
-What's wrong?- he asked softly. You shrugged.
-Nothing's wrong.- you responded, but you obviusly didn't fool him.
-Baby, you're a perfect spy, but you really can't lie to the people you actually care about. And it just happens that I'm one of them.- he placed two fingers under your chin to make you look at him. He moved his palm to your cheek and you closed your eyes, nuzzling into his hand.
-I'm fine.- you murmured, then you stood straight to put the used cotton in the trash can, then grabbed the wet towel and started to tap gently on the bruises, then to his chest, neck, shoulders.
-I..I really missed you, Steve. If I have to be honest, you are away on mission a little too often lately for my liking. I know that it's Fury that assignes you but...- you paused a few seconds. He looked at your face, don't minding at all your movements, but you kept your focus on them anyway, not really wanting to look at his eyes. You knew that he could read you like a book.
-I'm sorry if it feels like that I'm too much away. I didn't realize it.- he stopped you movements, pulling you on his lap. You threw the towel in the sink and circled your arms aroun his neck, your nails scratching the hair at the nape of his neck lightly.
-I'll talk to him and ask for a pause, maybe a month or two. Okay?- he palced his forhead against yours. Your eyes locked and you kissed him, slowly and softly.
-You're the most important thing to me, you know that right? If there's something you need to talk about, I'll be here. Always.- you couldn't help but smile fondly at his words. For a moment you felt at peace, like all the stress of the previous days was brushed away suddendly.
-I love you- you murmured agaist his lips, proceeding to kiss his cheek, jaw, cheekbones, neck -I know, and that's mutual, okay?- you said in between kisses.
He hummed, stroking softly your shirt covered sides with his hands, slipping them underneath the fabric.
-Mmh..you went to the gym? You're a little sticky.- you looked at him in shock, then saving yourself with a joke. That damned gel.
-Yeah, I did actually. And don't worry, I'll take a shower. But if you really mind that much touching your girl..- you were going to stand up, but he precedes you and pulls you flush against him, kissing you roughly.
You lose yourself in the kiss and start unconsciusly to grind yourself against him. He groans gripping your hips. You moan when you feel him getting hard.
-Fuck, I need you baby.- you nodded and let him take you in his arms. His hands placed under your ass, supporting you.
He didn't stop kissing you when you reached the bed. He laid you down and started to undress you. First your shirt, then your pants, bra and panties. He started to kiss you all over, from your chest, to your boob, giving particular attention to each nipple, biting softly and sucking, while massaging the other with his strong hands. You were a moaning mess, with your hands caressing his scalp.
-Steve..baby..- you mewled and he smirked before diving right at your core. No warning or teasing, he needed you as he knew you needed him.
-Oh. Fuck, yes..r-right there- your back arched and the grip on his hair tightened a little making him growl.
-Yeah? You're gonna come baby? Show me how much you missed me.- he said against your pussy. Your breath got stuck in your throat when he put one finger in, moving it in a come either motion.
-Y-yeah, fuck. Baby...I'm gonna come- and with a particularly good movement of his tongue on your clit you let go, letting out a loud moan. He lapped up all that you gave him, riding out your orgasm, then you pulled him to you, tasting yourself on his tongue.
-Always so sweet, just for me..- he sucked his finger making you moan at the sight. Then you decided to take the situation in your hands, so you pushed him off of you and then on the bed again. You straddled his lap and smirked while you grinded yourself on his dick. He threw his head back, groaning, while he helped your movements with his hands.
-Shit. Honey, darlin’, I n-need to be inside you.- you weren't really in the mood for waiting yoursef, so you rose a bit, lining him with your entrance, then sliding on his thick shaft. You both gasped at the feeling, then after a few seconds of adjustment you started to ride him, moving your hips sensually. He was looking at you with hungry eyes until he moved, placing a hand behind your head, dragging you down to kiss him. He then started to snap his hips faster, skin slapping against skin, your mouth parted, breathless.
-Steve- you warned, placing your hand on his cheek.
-Yeah. Come for me. C'mon, love, let go. So beautiful baby- and you did, his words giving you that little push you needed. He thrusted a few times more, then spilled his seed inside you, a loud growl of your name left his mouth. You rested like that for a while. Chest to chest, your nose nuzzling his neck, his hands caressing your back and he still inside you.
You were feeling quite dizzy, but also satisfied, and at home. He was your home, and you were his. He missed you like hell, and when he saw you so sad his heart actually broke. He couldn't stand to look at you hurt. He loved you more than anything in this world, and right now he wouln't wish to be anywhere else. Your naked body pressed against him, him inside you, wet, soft, and warm.
He didn't realize how much the missions would affect on your realtionship, but he decided to ask Fury for a bit of a break. He needed that, and you needed him.
-Welcome home, husband.- she teased, planting a kiss on his jaw. He grinned, kissing her head.
-
Obviously Tony had organized a party that evening, and obviously Captain America and his wife couldn't miss it. So now you were retuching your make up while Steve was buttoned his white shirt.
-Leave the first two open.- you said, looking at him from the mirror. He rose an eyebrow and did as you said. He walked towards you, hugging you from behind, placing his chin on your bare shoulder.
-You look stunning.- you smiled at him, putting away the nude lipstick. When you looked again he was caressing your sides, but when he reached your belly, you felt a wave of coldness and gently pulled away. Caressing his cheek before gowing towards the door.
You knew that it was just a normal gesture of affection, but it made your heart hurt in that moment. You checked that your long off-the-shoulder navy blue dress was all in place then smirked at him.
-Shall we go?-  
-
You two stepped out of the elevator, seeing that the party had already begun. You had your arm under Steve’s, and as soon as you stepped in the room a bunch of men came to congratulate him on the mission. He responded polietely but rather awkwardly. Your hand now on his back to calm him a little. He was Captain America, but he really didn't enjoy the attention that much.
-Kind gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I need my husband for a moment.- you flashed them a circumstance smile, bringing Steve away from them and towards the bar.
-Thank you honey.- he say lowly with a half smile. You gave him a peck on the cheek.
-Hey lovebirds! You make my diabetes worse every day, y'a know?- Tony teased while kissing your cheek and patting a few times Steve's back.
-Oh, c'mon. I could say the same for you and Pepper. Where is she tonight?- you asked.
-Had some business to take care of.- he shrugged.
-Well, in any case, I missed you.- Natasha stepped up and you hug tightly. You smiled.
-You, too Nat.- you also saluted Thor and Wanda, and everyone was engaged in conversation, before you heard a whisper in your ear.
-Can we talk for one second?- Bucky was at your side. You looked at him and nodded.
-I'm going out a second. Need air.- you say to your man, he looks at you with a little worry before you kiss him and give him a ressuring smile. You step away from the crowd towards the balcony, your red wine in hand. Bucky following suit. You went outside, the galss door closing.
-Why didn't you tell me about the visit today?- he asked. He wasn't angry, but you could feel that he was at least a little pissed.
-Bucky, I appreciate your interest. I really do. You're my best friend...But it's a thing that I had to do alone, you know?- you explain to him. He nods, frowning.
-Did Bruce tell you the results?- you shook your head yes. He stepped a bit closer.
-So?- you waited a little, then took a deep breath.
-I...I have a genetic malformation to the uteros. It doesn't cause problems to my heath in general, but...I will never be able to have a baby.- you shrugged a little, sniffing. You didn't want to cry again.
-Oh, Y/n...Sweetheart I'm so sorry. I-I....c'mere.- he said lowly opening his arms. You hugged him, breathing deeply, while he stroked your shoulders gently.
-I'm sorry....so sorry..- he kept whispering and for a moment you thought that he was gonna cry. 
-Hey Y/n...uh- Natasha appeared from the glass door.
-Are you okay?- she asked to no one in particualr. You separated slowly from Bucky and you actually saw his eyes a little glassy.
-Yes, all fine. You needed me?- you say, recomposing quickly. Bucky on the other hand remained silent.
-Well, actually Cap did. But yeah.- she responded. -Are you sure it's all okay?- you smiled at her walking towards the glass door.
-Yeah, don't worry Nat. Catch up later.- you went on to search Steve, while they stayed behind.
Natasha smiled at you, but as soon as you were out of reach she looked at Bucky with a serious face.
-Okay, now spill the truth.-
-
When you finally found Steve, he was with the rest of the team, well most of them, sitting at the couches. He offered his hand when he saw you and you took it smiling.
-You needed me?-
-Always.- he responded, but then he grinned and hold up a plate with a piece of cake. You recognized your favourite: a strawberry cheesecake. You smirked biting your lip.
-You tryin' to get me round, baby?- you teased, taking the tiny tea spoon from the plate. He looked at you with love, a little serious. But his small smile told you that he was calm.
-Maybe I am.- he answered, leaving you a little shocked. You closed your mouth and gave him a quick smile before turning your attention to the cake, and then to a conversation that Wanda and Sam were having.
You couldn't really feel at ease for the rest of the evening, after what Steve had said. You weren't expecting that, and it was impossibile that he knew something. It just seemed so casual, but at the same time it didn't. At the end of the night you said your goodbyes and went to your shared room.
You went to the bathroom to take off your make up, then back to the bedroom to undress yourself. When you were left just with your panties, considering that the dress didn't need a bra, you felt a pair of lips on your shoulder, then a hand moving your hair out of the way. Steve reached your neck and his hand went straight to your breast. You sighed and giggled a little, more to ease the tension more than for actual fun.
You moved away slightly -Again?- you teased. He hummed, starting to kiss your neck again.
-Blame the super soldier stamina. Or the fact that I missed my wife so much. Or that my wife herself is a goddess. Either is fine.- you smiled a little, blushing. You were married to him, had seen him naked lots of times, as he did you, but in these sweet moments it was just like the first time all over again. But tonight you didn't feel like doing it, so you turned to face him, covering your chest with your silk babydoll.
-I'm sorry, love. I'm just a little tired. And you should rest too.- you gazed at his bruised side. He locked eyes for a moment then kissed you softly.
-Okay. Yeah, you're probably right.- he nodded to himself, -I'm gonna go brush my teeth, be right back.- he answered sweetly.
-I'll be waiting.- you smiled. He closed the door behind him and you huffed. You finished to dress yourself and slipped under the sheets, turning off the light.
You needed a good sleep, and your head hurt a little from all the noise of the party and the crying. When he came to bed you were already sleeping.
-
A few days had passed since Steve's return, and you were starting to feel better emotionally, especially since he had already talked to Fury and he granted him a month off duty. He still had to train the agents, like you and the others have to, but at least he was off missions.
But while things with Steve were going good, Natasha gave you a few looks that you didn't understand. Bucky was still the same, protective and caring as ever. You saw him all over Nat, too. They had been together since all the mess for the Sokovia accords ended.
You were throwing a few punches to the box sack, and felt someone behind you. Nat was leaning against the door frame.
-Hey widow.- you smiled, reprising your activities.
-When were you gonna tell me about the sterility?- you stopped in your tracks and turned around quickly, checking if someone was around. The gym was empty, all the agents in training were now at the open, probably running. You stepped closer to her with a furious gaze.
-First of all, keep that fucking voice down. Second of all, how do you know?- you hissed. She huffed a breath.
-Bucky told me. And before you get mad at him, I basically extorted it from him.-
-No doubt about that.- you crossed your arms, perfectly knowing that it's something she would do.
-Yeah, right. Anyway, I'm a little offended that you didn't tell me.- she spoke with a little hurt in her eyes.
-I didn't have the obligations to tell anyone.- you responded.
-Yeah, except your husband. Also, you told Bucky, why?- she retored, wanting to make you talk.
-Because he's one of my best friends, and I felt kinda like shit. You happy? I needed someone and he was there. You were all away.- you blurted out. Her lips curled up in her signature smirk for a split moment, but sadness was in her eyes.
-I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you more than you already are. But I want you to know that you can talk to me. And unlike Bucky, or even Steve, or Bruce, that are all sweet guys, I would actually understand.- the sad smile returned to her lips. You actually felt a little bad for reacting so harshly with her.
-I know, Nat.- you said just above a whisper.
The two of you decided to go for a walk in the city. You stopped at Starbucks to grab an iced coffe, then went to central park.
-It makes me angry, you know.- you say. She looks at you, expectantly.
-For all my life I always made my choices. I cared for myself when no one would. Didn't have a parent to look up to in the orphanage, but you know that.- you gazed at her.
-I've never been sure of what I wanted in my future, but I always tought that at least I could've choose it. But it turns out I don't. And I don't even know which fucker in my family I should thank for this little thing.- you chuckled bitterly.
-I think it's unfair because everyone should be allowed to make their own calls, in everything. But then there are other times in which I think 'Why am I even complaining? There are people that are in worse situations' and I feel bad because it doesen't feel right to be feeling angry, or sad. And Steve? I know him, ‘Tasha. He was born in an era in which all a woman had to do was bear children, look pretty and cook. I don't mean to say that he's like that, at all. But the family thing is just what society put into his head, and he's so gentle, caring and good. He is made for that. Captain America, a family man with a dog, a wife, a white picket fence and children. It's a little cliché, but it's the simple life that I actually know that he would like. We spoke about it in the early states of our relationship, just for conversation. But I understood that a calm, family life it's what he truly wishes. It just destroys me to think that...I love him more than my life, and I will never be able to give what he desires the most.- at that point your voice cracks, and you reach to cover your face in between sobs.
Natasha quickly embraces you and lets you let it out for a few minutes, until your cry stops, even if little hiccups still leave your lips.
-Okay. First of all, I'm actually tired of hearing again and againg the 'I shouldn't feel bad because someone is worse'. It's not that simple. Everyone has their lives as well as their problems. Just because you're not in point of death, it doesn't mean that you don’t have to care for your problems. I mean, let's do an example, it's silly, but still. A woman is perfectly capable of having kids, but she has pneumonia. You are healthy but you can't have kids. Does an illness makes you better or worse than someone? No. Her problem is pneumonia and yours is this. And you say, 'but at least I have my health', yes, maybe, but you're not mentally okay. And that's as important as the body health. Especially because most of the times it affects it. When you cry you get a headache, so you're not good. Get what I'm saying?- she asks and you nod slightly.
-So, don't think about it. Everyone has their issues. Moving on. Steve. That man basically kisses every inch of ground you walk on. He loves you more than anything else. He married you. Do you really think that he would care about it? I mean, yes, it may be a hurtful news, like it was for you. But what I mean is, do you think that he would care when he has you right here, healthy and at his side? He didn't sign a fucking contract saying 'This woman must be able to give me kids'. It's a wish? Perfect, if it's yours too, and I think it is, you will face the situation together and find a solution. There are many children without a family that need love, and we both know it well.- you remain silent for a few seconds, thinking.
-Listen, just talk to him. Be honest about it, and then your will figure out what you want to do. Please. You would feel better and he deserves the truth, because he cares about you and loves you, not because it's his right to know if his 'merch' is damaged.- she shakes her head to prove her point. You nod then you look up at her with an half smile.
-What about you and Bucky?- she seemed a little taken back by the question, but then gives you a lovingly lopsided smile.
-Nah. We both have been through too much. We love each other, and love kids too, but we agree that we would work better as uncles.- she smiles. You chuckle.
-Thank you Nat. Really. I couldn't ask for a better friend.- she has a soft expression, but she brushes it off. She smirks and gives you a little bump with her shoulder.
-Aw, c'mon now. Don't make me soft. I'm still the black widow.- she raises an eyebrow and you laugh.
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I’m quite proud of this chapter, tbh. I really love writing Nat in a vulnerable way, just like she is. So, will the reader tell Steve? How will he react? 
Let me know what you thought ;) 
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Taglist : @polarcrystall​  @a--1--1--3​
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theshatteredrose · 3 years
Text
Relic Keepers: Awakening of the Red Lily (Chapter 13) - Original Fiction
AN: Kinda depressing just how long it took me to write this chapter. I’m sorta, kinda coming off of hiatus, but I have no idea when I’ll return to weekly updates. The main point is that I am enjoying writing and planning this project, and I am essentially writing this for me. If anyone takes issue with anything I’ve written, that’s not my problem. I’m just here to indulge in my own interests.
Anyway, enough of that. If you do read, I hope you enjoy. If not, then I hope you move along and have a nice day <3
Ao3 | Wattpad | Inkitt | FictionPress
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 13:
The morning air was cool and crisp as Eishirou stepped out of the helicopter and onto the dew-laden grass. The rising sun cast the Flutterlight Forest in a golden glow. Draping the greenery in an almost ethereal light. Inviting the unwary into letting their guard down.
Eishirou had to remind himself to stay vigilant. The lush green leaves, golden bark, and small colourful flowers shifting in the light breeze hid dark and dangerous ShadowDwellers. And those ShadowDwellers were not averse to destroying the environment around them to engage in battle.
He had to admit he was both excited and nervous about the expedition.
Heading out into the field with just Team 3 was a little bit daunting without Jacob there. But he got along extremely well with Zayne. Rinka was good company, too. And it wasn’t like they would just leave him out in the middle of nowhere. Jacob would never place him with a team he didn’t himself find trustworthy.
While it was essentially Eishirou’s personal assignment, Jacob did have one request of him during this expedition. And that was the map as much of the area as possible. A reasonable request.
He was also rather curious whether that centipede ShadowDweller created new paths for them to use. And whether its reckless freight-train like tendencies opened the way for new locations or ruins to discover.
Still, he hoped not to run into another.
Eishirou glanced around the landing area in mild curiosity as the Elite team gathered their previsions and equipment. His attention was soon drawn to the small pockets of red and blue flowers. There was a small patch of flowers close to him, so he knelt down and got out his tablet to take a photo. He then cross referenced that photo through the database of already discovered plants and flowers.
He wasn’t surprised when he got a match.
Felicia mauve cloud. Ah, blue daisies. Of course.
And the red flowers were…Ixora coccinea, or Flames of the Woods. Fascinating. He wondered if these flowers had any medicinal use. He’d have to talk to Neriah about it sometime.
“Well, shall we begin this assignment?” Ernesta stated more so than asked as she took the commanding role. “Zayne, you are the one who will see to Eishirou’s safety.”
“Got it,” Zayne replied without any hesitation.
“Eishirou, feel free to concentrate fully on your research. We’ll ensure that ShadowDwellers do not interrupt this expedition.”
Eishirou nodded. “I’ll try not to get in the way.”
Ernesta gave him a placid smile. “How would you like to begin this expedition?”
He didn’t answer immediately as he needed a moment to consider his options. It was his first solo expedition, after all. He didn’t want to be frivolous. “Our best bet is to head for the clearing and work our way around from there. I’m curious to see if that Centipede ShadowDweller unearthed new ruins or possibly another entrance to the mine tunnels below.”
“Very well. Zayne shall take the lead with your guidance, while the rest of us will concentrate on security and protection,” Ernesta commanded.
After securing his bag across his chest, Eishirou pulled out his tablet and the map function. With Jacob’s map overlaying his, he was confident that he could lead the team to the clearing. And ultimately back to that underground chamber with the mosaic. That was his ultimate destination in all honesty.
He was curious to know if his dream from the previous night was just a figment of his imagination filling in the blanks.
With Zayne right next to him, Eishirou took the lead through Flutterlight Forest. The name was quite accurate. Other than a few broken branches here or there, and thick shrubbery having been pushed to the side for a make-shift path, there was little change to the surroundings.
The birds were chittering and the insects were chirping noisy. The air fresh with only a slight morning chill. The wind was still for the most part, with only a tender gust every now and again.
Their trek to the clearing was a thankfully uneventful one.
The clearing where they first discovered the runestone and hidden wooden chest had seen better days, though.
“That ShadowDweller torn up this area more than I thought,” Zayne commented as he glanced around warily.
Eishirou nodded. It really did. Broken branches and heavily damaged trees. Torn up patches of grass and soil. There were even a few depressions that weren’t there the other day. It was highly likely that there was a partial collapse of a mine shaft just below the surface. And it was likelier still that there were numerous tunnels crisscrossing the entire area.
They had better be careful were they stepped.
That Centipede ShadowDweller had also opened up some new paths, rendering his map from back then out-of-date. But only slightly. So, it wasn’t anything to be overly concerned about.
Eishirou felt the distinct feeling of having dropped a few inches. It wasn’t overly dramatic, but it did startle him. Enough for his heart to skip a beat.
Before he could react, however, Zayne did. He swiftly scooped Eishirou up into his arms and jumped back a couple of feet. As he landed in a crouched position, his mana wings flickered into existence and one shifted toward Eishirou in an attempt to shield him.
Just as the ground where Eishirou had stood open up.
And a scorpion ShadowDweller crashed into view.
“I’ve got it!” Leon announced.
The ShadowDweller was still half-in the hole it had created when Leon used his mana-claws to effortlessly cut through the ShadowDweller’s large claws, rending it incapable of attacking him in return.
As the two dismembered claws fell to the ground and dissipated into that mysterious dark mist that seemed to make up the entirety of ShadowDwellers, Leon moved in to finish the creature off for good.
Zayne stood to his full height before he placed Eishirou back onto his own feet. But he kept his hand on his shoulder and pulled him close toward him in a protective stance.
Eishirou stared as mist rose from the corpse of the ShadowDweller, flittering it out of existence. The whole thing happened so quickly that he honestly didn’t even have time to feel frightened or even nervous. Startled, yes. Afraid? No. It was an odd feeling. He felt detached, in a way.
Yet, somehow comfortable.
It was likely because he had seen Zayne in action before. He had protected him numerous times before. So, there wasn’t like he had anything to fear, really.
Still, he was grateful that Zayne had been there. And reacted so quickly. He didn’t fancy another tumble down a hole into utter darkness below.
“Ambush predators, yet recklessly confrontational,” Ernesta mused aloud, both oddly curious and yet dismissive of the previous event. “We best practice extra caution.”
Eishirou returned his attention to his tablet and added a few notes of caution. The mines below made the area ideal for ShadowDwellers to ambush unsuspecting victims, be them Elites or Passive.
“We should move on from here. The ground is clearly unstable.”
The location of where that ShadowDweller appeared from indicated to him that the mining tunnels reached further than previously thought. Also, narrow paths may be more stable thanks to the tree roots and thick shrubbery keeping the ground compact. Though it did lead to the problem of a smaller battle area.
From what he had seen, Zayne and the others didn’t find the scorpion ShadowDwellers exactly difficult to battle. Their reflexes and level-headedness were quite astounding.
But that was what Elites did. They battled expertly against ShadowDwellers. They were truly amazing at what they did.
“Let’s move on to that underground chamber,” Eishirou suggested. “I need to give that a proper inspection.”
Once more, Eishirou took the lead with Zayne close to his side, taking his role of bodyguard seriously. Which Eishirou was honestly grateful for. As the path before them caused him to feel a sense of trepidation.
Broken limbs and felled fully grown trees littered the path. Broken into splinters. Thrown aside with ease. Telling indentations marred the soil. Created by hundreds of black, insect-shaped legs scuttering at an abnormal speed.
“Is this where that ShadowDweller chased you?” Leon asked nonchalantly as they walked cautiously down the path.
“Came barrelling through like a freight-train,” Zayne replied. “Able to hear it coming a mile away, though.”
Well, unlike the scorpion ShadowDwellers that liked to burst in from underground, the Centipede at least gave them a warning. A terrifying warning of breaking trees and thundering feet. But it was better than no warning.
The recently forged path might be a blessing in disguise. From what he could tell from his map, a new path to the underground chamber had opened up. Allowing them to reach it sooner.
They moved through the forest in silence. The birds and insects continued to make their noise, unconcerned by their presence. Other than a few fallen trees that they needed to climb over, there were no other obstacles to slow them down.
Minutes later, they finally reached the entrance that led to the underground chamber.
Eishirou pulled to a stop just outside the entrance, however. He felt the urge to inspect his surroundings once more. Lush foliage, thick shrubbery, flowers of red and blue in small patches.
Huh…the area around the entrance wasn’t damaged. No broken trees or torn up earth. Nothing to indicate that that centipede ShadowDweller emerged underground from here. So, it emerged from somewhere else, obviously. But where?
He…couldn’t see any place it could have appeared from. The area around the entrance looked untouched. Not a shrub disturbed. Not a twig broken. Nothing.
That would be something he would investigate later. He was more interested in inspecting the mosaic and underground chamber.
The stone doors that once barred the way had remained opened. Eishirou wasn’t all too concerned about them, even if they closed behind them. He knew how to reopen them. If they worked once, they were sure to work again. But if push came to shove, he was sure one of the Elites would just blast their way out.
“Hm,” Ernesta murmured as they moved to the centre of the chamber, her gaze forward. “So, this is the mosaic that Professor Chryses was referring to.”
Eishirou turned to look at the mosaic, too. Unmarred and in the same condition he had left it. Which was a relief. “That’s it.” He then pointed toward a small opening to the left of the room. “That leads to the underground tunnels. And they’re connected to mining tunnels.”
“And where we first encountered that centipede,” Zayne added.
Ernesta glanced over toward the tunnels and a frown soon spread across her face. “Hm. I am not comfortable with exploring those tunnels. Especially not with the possibility of encountering other ShadowDwellers in such a restricted environment.”
Especially that large centipede ShadowDweller.
“Unfortunately, if we’re to map the area fully, we’ll need to,” Eishirou explained as he pulled out his tablet. “Though, I’m reluctant, too. I’d feel better if there was a way to get in and out of the mines should we encounter trouble.”
“Blasting through the roof not an option?”
Zayne’s sarcastic quip caused a laugh to escape Eishirou’s lips. “I guess. I mean, if the situation was that serious.”
In all seriousness, though, he hoped they wouldn’t need to resort to such drastic measures. If only they could find a way to monitor ShadowDwellers from a distance or at least discover how far and deep the tunnels actually go.
Eishirou glanced down at his tablet screen. He just remembered how his map had alerted him to that centipede ShadowDweller a couple of days ago. A red dot that moved across the screen. He had honestly forgotten about it due to everything else that occurred. He could only assume that the map function had registered the presence of the ShadowDweller and added it to the data also.
Did that mean that if he encountered a ShadowDweller that didn’t immediately attack them (or is immediately destroyed), it will be registered to the map?
“Eishirou?”
Ernesta’s voice pulled Eishirou from his thoughts and he snapped his head up. “Yes?”
“Professor Chryses mentioned that you are able to see recordings from objects containing mana. Are you able to control what information is given to you?” she queried.
Eishirou was momentarily startled by the question. “Ah, well, it depends.” His gaze flickered over to the mosaic once more as a thought occurred to him. There was an abundant amount of mana contained within. “I could give it a try. Maybe if I try to receive a recording from the mosaic, I might learn just how far these tunnels reach.”
He slipped the tablet into his carry bag as he walked toward the mosaic. He ascended the stairs to the altar. The painting upon the wall was exactly the same. That shouldn’t be a surprise to him. Elites wouldn’t be interested in the chamber or the mosaic on the wall. Their first concern was ShadowDwellers.
But he was somewhat startled to note that his dream of the painting was the same. The rainbow-coloured hair, the flawless face. There was only one minor little difference; the eyes were open in his dreams. The painting before him had the eyes close.
…It was probably nothing.
Pushing his musings aside, Eishirou raised his hands and placed them upon the painting once more. He closed his eyes and attempted to use his own mana abilities to draw out the mana residing within the cave wall. And the mosaic itself.
Just like before a series of still images appeared in his mind. Quick flashes of moments in time so long ago. There was…there was a story attached to the images.
Men dressed in blacken overalls. A partially collapsed wall. Miners moving through the narrow tunnels. Torches illuminating shadowy creatures. Miners running in panic.
An entrance high on a hill side. Framed with wooden beams. With steel and wooden planks hastily baring the entrance.
The recording came to an abrupt end and Eishirou found himself taking a stumbling step backwards. Only to fall back against someone and an arm wrapped around his shoulders firmly.
Eishirou didn’t need to open his eyes to look at the one holding him upright. It was Zayne.
“You all right?”
Eishirou clutched his forehead as he nodded his head. “Yeah. I think it worked. There’s another opening. One…of the ancient tunnel. Connected to a mine shaft not far from here. But…the first appears only accessible from underground.”
Those other images; they told a story of how miners broke through into the ancient tunnels. They inspected the tunnels, curious and amazed. Until they encountered tall shadowy beings. Humanoids of the darkest of black. They ran, terrified. What happened to those miners was up to speculation. But the boarded-up entrance to the mines indicated that the mines were closed.
Was that a fraction of the history of these tunnels?
Were…ShadowDwellers around back then, too?
“Ernesta.” Tatsu’s terse voice prompted Eishirou to open his eyes and return to the task at hand.
“Hm?” Ernesta turned to regard Tatsu with a curious expression. But that soon changed in confused one when the other Elite handed her something. “That’s-?”
“It seems to be a badge from one of the Elite teams,” Tatsu informed briskly. “They must have inspected this chamber, too.”
A deep frown marred Ernesta’s face. “And dropped their badge.”
Zayne kept a secure arm around Eishirou’s shoulders as he guided him down the stairs and back to where the rest of the team gathered. He could see their puzzlement and concern easily. Which he understood. An Elite’s badge was a symbol of their superiority. A badge of honour, so to speak.
…If he was able to see images from an ancient mosaic, could he receive a recording from a badge? Though, that likely depended on the intent of the owner of said badge.
“Can I try something?” Eishirou asked as he reached for the badge.
Zayne frowned slightly. “Another recording?”
“Hm. Maybe there’s enough mana here for me to see what occurred to lead to this being dropped.”
He wrapped his hands around the badge and closed his eyes.
The images didn’t hit him as suddenly or as profoundly as the ones of the mosaic did. He saw an animated recording; one he hadn’t experienced before. It was from the point of view of the fallen badge.
A group of Elites walked through the chamber and headed straight for the side path. Like they had known it was there. The group seemed to be…huddled together. He could only see four members. Yet, Elite teams were made of five.
There was a sense of…uncertainty and fear from the badge. From the owner of said badge. They were confused. Startled…betrayed?
But then…a dark shadow appeared from somewhere behind the badge. It…scurried across the ground. Four limbs. Yet, it appeared human like.
…Just like those shadowy beings he saw from the mosaic.
The recording ended abruptly and Eishirou shook his head. Once again, thankful for the strong arm wrapped around his shoulders. He couldn’t help but feel threatened. And that the life of the Elite which the badge belonged to might be in danger.
“What’s wrong?”
“They entered the tunnels,” Eishirou explained, his voice surprisingly shaky thanks to the remnants of the recording. “But there was something following them. A ShadowDweller, I think. But…I can’t be too sure. They definitely headed deeper in, though. I do know that much.”
“I see.” Ernesta frowned as her eyes flickered toward the side path once more. “We…may need to follow, if nothing more than to sedate our curiosity.”
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thebrochtuarachs · 5 years
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The Making of Outlander: The Series Author Tara Bennett on Why She is Thankful for What Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe Shared
By Paulette Cohn
The countdown to season five of Outlander continues with three months left to go until the Feb. 16 premiere on STARZ. But in the interim, author Tara Bennett has a little something to help the time pass more quickly and provide you with an Outlander fix. It is her new book, The Making of Outlander: The Series: The Official Guide to Seasons Three & Four, which takes a deep dive into the making of the series, and is now available in stores and online.
“We spent a lot of time on the first one trying to frame it with new voices and different ways of telling the stories, or with people that aren’t covered by typical press for the show, and it went over well,” Bennett tells Parade.com in this exclusive interview. “Because of that, we wanted the second book to look and feel similar, as if you were making a collection on your shelf, and so we kept the format, we kept the relative design, and then we looked into spotlights and head-of-department features, so we could change it out, so you didn’t feel like you were learning the same thing but for a different year.”
The Making of Outlander: The Series is a beautifully crafted tome, and what makes it a must-have for fans of both Diana Gabaldon’s novels and for fans of the Starz TV series – as well as a great holiday gift — is the large number of photos, many that have never appeared in print or online stories.
“I did a cross check of everything that was available to the public via press versus what was made available to us for the book,” Bennett says. “We tried to put in as much new stuff as possible, otherwise, why bother buying the book? I literally made a huge Excel spreadsheet of what was given to press, and then what was given to us, and then made sure that we leaned into those things. If there was a beautiful picture that STARZ and Sony gave the regular press, it was still nice to be able to find a way to feature it, so that you could really look at it in a different way than looking at it on your tablet or your laptop.”
Bennett was also able to coax some interesting tidbits that hadn’t been in print before out of series stars Sam Heughan (Jamie Fraser) and Caitriona Balfe (Claire Fraser), like what lengths they went to for season three and four to accurately portray being parents, as neither of them are in real life.
“They both spent a lot of time trying to establish and understand that dynamic and really create that rapport with their costars,” Bennett relates. “Sam has some really great stories about the hesitancy of that, working with the little boy that plays Willie, his son, and creating that rapport. Then several of the actors also talk about watching him with the young actor and how endearing that was. I think that’s just a nice testament to both of them as actors is the level that they go to, to try to create the authenticity with Jamie and Claire.”
You’ve told us what’s the same about this book, what’s different other than the seasons?
We went into a lot more, specifically, about the production design and visual effects, how they worked in tandem, which was a lot more subtle in the first two years. Then in season three and four, you had tall ships that had to be created in visual effects, you had shooting Scotland for the United States, so for a lot of the environment, they would have to use blue screen to create Jocasta’s plantation house in season four. That doesn’t exist in Scotland.
And so, they basically had to do a lot of visual effects to that house, including an entire second floor, and the environment around it to make it look like it was truly in Wilmington. We decided to peel back a layer with that.
We did a lot about the First Nations, basically, the big immersive sets that they created and then really tried to look at some of the new cast, so that we could give them time in the sun. So, it’s people like Ed Speleers, who played Stephen Bonnet, and, of course, giving much bigger spreads to Sophie Skelton (Brianna) and Richard Rankin (Roger), because they’ve been bumped up in terms of presence, especially by season four, so they equal Sam and Caitriona now in terms of the spreads that they get in the book.
To me these are special coffee table books. I keep mine out, so I can flip through it any time.
Yes. That’s nice. That’s why we try to make sure when we play around with the color and the brightness of the pictures that you’re really getting the best possible version of the picture on the page, so that you really get to look at details that your eyes will get a little tired from looking at on a computer.
In the first book, there was a story about Caitriona’s casting, which was something that I didn’t know before I read it there. Do you have stories like that in this book? Is there one you could share?
David Berry, who is Lord John Grey, is a character that the book readers really, really love and that TV fandom has embraced. He’s Australian, and the story that both the casting director and he tell in tandem — she in her section and he in his — is that he was really part of a wide net that they put out for the show, because there’s so many television shows being produced now that even since the first season of Outlander, it’s harder to find actors who aren’t already engaged in something. So, what they used to do was just look in England and Scotland, but now they have put it out to the world when they’re doing a new casting call for a major character.
So, David Berry has a good story about how, in a casting sense, they went to Australia and were really starting to look for Australian actors who are very good, and then about how quickly his turnaround was. He had to deal with playing that character on the fly the entire first season. He’s been intermittent in the show, so his stories have been really fun about trying to get into character, but really not being with the show very much so that’s been a challenge.
How involved were Sam and Caitriona in the second book?
I have to thank them. It’s been a benefit that I’ve been able to cover the show as a reporter and then also be able to do these books. I first started covering Outlander for print and online outlets, and so, they’ve known me. Then when I started doing interviews with them for the book, there was already a recognition factor. The really great thing is that over a span of — now they’re into production for season five, they know me even more.
As it is with all lead actors in a television show that’s over four seasons, it gets harder and harder to get them, because they’re really busy, and when they’re on breaks, they’re doing other projects. But they have always made time to say, “Yes, I’m going to talk with Tara,” and so I’m always super grateful because, at the end of the day, there is no companion book of value without the two of them. Claire and Jamie are the books, and so, I would’ve really been devastated if we hadn’t gotten them. I ended up sitting on the phone with each of them separately.
In some instances, Sam was in a car literally heading to LAX, so a good way to combat traffic is to talk to me. With Caitriona, she was on a break from shooting, and so, we talked when she was doing a little bit of other press for season four and so it ended up being really great.
I always try to approach their interviews, in particular, as they’re covered a lot by mainstream media, so I try to talk a little bit more thematic and about the work that they do to progress the characters from year to year. I think they really appreciate that kind of deeper conversation that they don’t always get when they’ve got 10-minute hits with media outlets. So, that was always my focus and they were always really gracious. I always know that they really get thoughtful and dig deep to think about those moments that mean a lot to them and how they progress the character.
Any conversations about working with Rollo or the horses?
All those animals make noise and create problems and they’re never fun, so they look like they’re happy around them, but John Bell, who plays young Ian, is the only one that really likes Rollo because he was the one that had to, basically, help train him from its youth, so that he would respond to him.
Everybody else had had enough of those animals. There are good stories about how Matt Roberts, who’s the new show runner who took over from Ron Moore, had to go around the globe to find those animals and bring them back. They would basically make a global search for multiple puppies and other animals that would fit what the readers’ expectations were, so it’s not just going to a shelter and yanking an animal, it’s this whole thing that the book explains as well, which was surprising to me.
And this coming season, they had to look for Adso, too.
Adso will be, hopefully, in book five and six if people buy this book.
Did Diana participate at all? I know she’s been busy working on the next novel in the franchise.
For the first book, Diana, obviously, was establishing the transition, and so, she did the foreword. Then she also was a cameo actor and she also wrote episode 211. So, for season three and four, because of her own book deadlines and production timing, she didn’t end up doing an episode for either season three or four, and we wanted to leave her alone. We didn’t really want to bug her unless she really had free time, which she didn’t.
So, we asked the foreword go to Matt Roberts. So, she isn’t present but she’s been super gracious in terms of doing book signings and with approval, saying she appreciated what we did with the companion for the seasons.
But the nice thing is, she announced that she’s going to be doing episode 511. She’s writing that one, so I have a hope that if this book does well, then she will be back in the next tome, which is great.
In addition to photos, there’s sketches of some of the different sets.
We were able to get some sketches from Jon Gary Steele, who is the production designer, and then we were also able to get sketches from Terry Dresbach, who was the costume designer through the middle of season four.
That was something I wanted for the first book, lawyers sometimes don’t always make that easily happen, and so, because we knew we wanted them and could get the request earlier for this book, we were able to get the sketches directly from Terry and from production design to be able to give a flavor of some of the things that they built. So, you get a general idea of mood board things, which are very important for Terry in coming up with the overall ideas of what a character looks like, especially as they progress through the eras.
Then, for Jon Gary Steele, who really uses the facilities of the warehouses in Glasgow to basically repurpose, he’s a fun part of the book. He really explains when you see a new set what it came from, why he created something so that he could easily retrofit it to something for the next year, and there’s always a sense of they are borrowing from last year to use the footprint for what they’re going to need to do for the next year. So, there’s basically a taste of everything that came before and everything that he builds going forward.
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