#getting emotional over destiel
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thinking about how there's never gonna be another ship like destiel because shows simply don't last as long as spn did anymore therefore no ship could ever have the build up and history destiel had that spanned 12 years on and off screen and still continues now
#seriously though like im so glad i got to experience it#yeah destiel and spn has wrecked me in ways i can never fix but i wouldnt change it#not a thing#i should sleep#nah#back to my fanfic i go#getting emotional over destiel#destiel#spn
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Chuck's speech to cas which reveals that this was the only universe cas rebelled in happens before the confession, which means that both cas and chuck know cas rebelled for dean because of love (chuck had the whole prophet thing ect), and dean is the only one unaware of this in the moment.
Then between episode 19 and 20 when dean was reflecting about the last few moments when cas was alive he would have put this together too and realised he had missed his opportunity, that in the end in this universe chuck too had succeeded in keeping them apart.
#spn#supernatural#destiel#cas#dean#dean winchester#im not okay#6 years later and i still get emotional over this show
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It's just. It's the way they look at each other
and look and look and look
The way they fight for each other.
(The way they fight each other.)
The way they work together and push and pull and always come back. will always come back
He doesn't believe in god. but he believes in you
He isn't supposed to feel. but he loves you
#you ever get so full of emotions over these two that you just can't articulate it??#theyre just SO complicated and messy and compelling and nobody is doing it like them#destiel#deancas
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I do love apocalypse world Cas being so deeply fucked up and evil. real Castiel is one of the kindest and most loving characters on the show. his years on earth since the apocalypse have changed him from someone dedicated to a duty to heaven into an extremely compassionate person. alternate Castiel has also left behind that stoic sense of duty, but has become warped and gleefully cruel.
and what's the difference between them? Dean Winchester! real Cas gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition and then he started to love Dean and then he learned to love all of humanity. without Dean's influence apocalypse Cas is every bit as dismissive and condescending towards humans as any of the other angels.
Hester said the very touch of Dean corrupts, but it's just the opposite. it redeems, if uplifts, it sanctifies. from the moment Castiel laid a hand on him in hell he was saved.
#supernatural#lots of very normal emotions to be having over an alternate version of my gay angel doing a silly german accent#but this show makes me insane#also cas gets to join dean in the 'my evil double told me i was bad and I agreed with him then killed the thing with my face' club#which is fun!#castiel#destiel#dean winchester
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What would really kill a Victorian child is experiencing the first “Nov 5th” in real time
#somehow being implanted with the proper context of course#like maybe he gets to marathon supernatural until he gets fed up with it in the time machine#leaving a nebulous amount of time to create emotional distance from the show and a false sense of being over it#just to step out and be jolted into the most insane social media experience of his young life#superhell 2 year anniversary#spn#destiel#nov 5th#supernatural
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started crying over cas getting slorped into the empty today
#supernatural#spn#castiel#destiel#dean winchester#this sounds silly but i was legit crying over cas and doing dishes lmao#i’m in a terrible depression dip and just got super emotional about how much he didn’t fucking deserve that#like he tries to be happy once??? and that’s what he gets??? AND HE DOES IT KNOWING THAT ITLL HAPPEN?!?!?#y’all did our gay angel so wrong okay
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going through my mcr tag on main looking at posts i made about them in 2015 i’m feeling so normalcore
#i also found a post where i said i was over destiel. that one made me laugh out loud#lots of horribly cringe gems over there so stay tuned lmao#honestly might cry about it though i remember being so afraid of growing up#because i didn’t want the things i loved to not be important to me anymore#and sure maybe i don’t think about those things every day anymore but they are still a part of me!!#whether it’s to the degree of spn or mcr derangement because things keep happening#or the way everyone around me to this day will get into intense discussions about the hunger games#there is NOTHING like the media you consume between the ages of 12 and 17 wah#ANYWAY this got out of hand but i’m getting really emotional about it :’)#ok back to my job now.#mcr#a.txt
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Must-read Destiel fics - my superduper Nov. 5th rec list
Three years ago, on the blessed day of November 5th, 2020, I had:
never seen an episode of SPN,
only had a vague inkling of what the two pale coconuts were on about,
and I hee-heed and ha-had with the rest of Tumblr about the love confession scene and the Internet errupting in an unparalleled craze
At first I thought, that's it.
Then ... I got curious. I watched some YouTube Destiel supercuts. I read some fic (I think @andhumanslovedstories beautiful Cas/OC fic was my entry point?). I read meta. I watched some more YouTube scene packs. I read even more fic. I watched some of S4, some of S1, some random fan fav episodes. And then Destiel lodged itself so deeply, thouroughly into my brain that it took over and hasn't relinquished control in the last two years. The most tenacious, pervasive brain worm to date.
This ship got it all, and this fandom got it all, and there's such delightful, powerful, batshit crazy, romantic, expertedly crafted fanfic out there, it's like being a starving child in the world's biggest candystore.
So without further ado, here's some of my very favorite fics from this infinite trove, with all my thanks to the wonderful writers who keep delighting and awing me with their dedication and craft. There'll of course be some recency bias at play but you can browse my bookmarks over here to chose from over 100 excellent and well-curated SPN stories.
💕CATEGORY: SWOONWORTHY💕
Wildly romantic fics that warm you up from the inside.
It Won't Be Perfect by someonetoanyone (10K words)
Summary: Dean daydreams about what it'd be like to let himself love Cas freely.
Why I love it: the humor, the spot-on characterizations, and the quintessential late season Destiel-ness of being so deeply love with your best friend that it's too big to actually do anything about. Just. So warm.
Rock Lobster by Ginger Fail (13K)
Summary: Cas decides that the lobsters Dean planned to cook need to get back home. Impromptu beach vacation ensues!
Why I love it: This road trip story is fresh and invigorating like a sea breeze! Fun, entertaining and full of deep, deep fondness.
Seek to Know You Better by ahurston (32K)
Summary: On a road trip, Dean and Cas play the 36 Questions That Lead To Love.
Why I love it: They’re so deliberatedly, carefully starting a relationship here. They try so hard to bridge the gaps and meet each other halfway. A very mature take on love that feels nourishing.
☢️CATEGORY: BRAINWORMS GALORE☢️
Fics that make you go BARK BARK BARK.
samson went back to bed by piesexuality (9k, @twoheadedcas)
Summary: Cas strikes a deal with Chuck - keeping his family together comes at the price of their free will.
Why I love it: What if Cas got his revenge for the Mala'ak box? What if love came at the price of everything you've been fighting for? What if a story twisted the knife oh so sweetly? Each word of this one lands a punch. Made me insane in the best of ways (cue pinned fanart).
In sickness by @saintedcastiel (41K)
Summary: S4 redux but Castiel has a fetish: giving Dean the sniffles.
Why I love it: This one is soooo. Can barely find words for it. It taps into Cas' early season alienness and psychosexual obsession with Dean, brilliantly demonstrates Casdean vs Samruby parallels, and each word is just. Perfect. ARGH!
so much smoke in a hall full of mirrors by AreYouReady (6K, @autisticandroids )
Summary: Godstiel is losing his heavenly war. Crowley provides a compliant Dean-doll for him to release his frustrations upon.
Why I love it: Urgh, this one is sooo dark. Taps into the scary, intimidating and alien aspects of Godstiel so well. Gore, consent and psychosexual issues galore. Delicious.
Special mention: In a Parked Car, Exhuming Ophelia by @an-android-in-a-tutu (17K). Still need to comment properly ;)
💣CATEGORY: EMOTIONAL WRECKING BALLS💣
Angsty fics that tear you to pieces to remake you better.
What Used To Be Mine by someonetoanyone (48K words)
Summary: Dean never makes his apology prayer in Purgatory - Cas dies, Dean mourns.
Why I love it: Oh god, this is a heavy hitter. Just, straight up insurmontable grief, packaged in poetic, raw language to make you shed tears and tears. Loved it so much.
Ignite your bones By ilovehowyouletmefall (67K, @angelinthefire)
Summary: Dean accepts Chuck's deal: killing Sam to save the world.
Why I love it: Cruuuuel cruel premise for a story that doesn’t pull its punches. It gets dark in Dean’s head and everyone around him suffers. Wonderfully written. The ending set my brain on fire.
Right Where you Left Me by outdean (93K, @armandgender)
Summary: Cas comes back from the Empty after 10 years to find Dean married to another man.
Why I love it: This one is a riiiide. When grief has become a part of you but your love comes back… When you return from the dead and have to carve a new space into the world for yourself... nothing is easy here, but the emotions are INTENSE. Also, autistic!Cas for the win.
Special mention: Who Ya Gonna Call? by saintedcastiel (50K) and Clear skies in spring by enochianprayer (WIP)
💥CATEGORY: EPIC RIDES💥
Expansive, wild adventures with lots of ups and downs
Spirit of the West by teen_dean (140K, @urne-buriall)
Summary: An 18y old Dean grew up on a horse farm – cue veterinarian Castiel. The summer of a lifetime ensues.
Why I love it: So this is one of my very favorite stories, ever ever, and I cannot recommand enough to immediatedly suscribe to the author’s Substack to be able to follow it in „real time“ next summer. It’s cinematic, rich, full of darkness and light, it’s everything a story can aspire to, I’m just. I just really love it.
Second Verse, Same as The First by LaLaCat1 (135K)
Summary: Endverse!Cas is sent back to the start of S1 and is determined to make things right this time round.
Why I love it: a desperate and badass Cas, unfridging everyone, a thrilling plot, moments of awesome for the entire cast, gripping action scenes, a romance for the ages… this is a genuinely amazing story.
back road, black road by eden22 (167K)
Summary: 18y old Sam gets kidnapped by Hell on his way to Stanford. Dean tries to deal.
Why I love it: So this one’s not Destiel-centric but does have wonderful Destiel moments. It’s also very heavy on the gore and the angst (NOT for the faint of stomach), but expertly crafted, fascinating and frankly it deserves more love. Held my breath for half the read and never knew where it’d take me.
Special mention: It's The End Of The World (As We Know It) by tiamatv (140K)
🤪CATEGORY: DESTIEL INSANITY🤪
Uproariously funny stories about the intricate rituals these two weirdos get up too.
Life Skills by ilovehowyouletmefall (26K)
Summary: Dean teaches a newly human Cas how to be „a real man“.
Why I love it: Dean coming to Big Self-Realizations while trying to have platonic threesomes with Cas is so perfect. Very endearing, tender and funny. Also, smoking hot sex.
the cheapest room in the house by biggaybenny (89K)
Summary: Dean downloads Grindr for Cas
Why I love it: Just. Late season Dean being deranged about Cas’ sexuality while everyone watches on in utter confusion. Equally hilarious and deeply moving
according to all known laws of life by @sobsicles (29k)
Summary: Cas comes back from the Empty to a Dean who won’t stop playing gay chicken.
Why I love it: They are both such petty, insane weirdos in this one. They said „can every situation be turned into a squabble“ and didn’t wait for an answer. So funny, so tender
Special mention: Wedding Vows and Negotiations by GingerFail (6K)
That's it, enjoy and leave your writers some much-deserved love!
#destiel#fanfic rec#supernatural#spn#spn fic#deancas#nov 5th#destiel fanfic#dean x castiel#my posts#long post#it was so hard to choose TT_TT#this fandom is amazing
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not to be serious or whatever but i think nov 5th went down like. That. bc of a few things: one the pandemic and the inherent derangedness of waking up and watching “unprecedented times” happen around you daily for the past nine months. two the election and the multi day pressure cooker of stress of constantly refreshing election news tabs and trying to keep your normal life (school work etc) going while the fate of american politics pretty much hangs in the balance and trump throws a fit on twitter. three the 15 year buildup of the cw’s hit show supernatural to the final season + the 11 of those years spent queerbaiting while tumblr did backflips through discourse circus rings about destiel + this show and ship being so big that everyone knew about it not just the fans. all of this leading up to the airing of 15x18 and the confession scene. castiel in love with dean. castiel goes to superhell. it just set everything off like a bomb. then the vine boom after vine boom of domino train information we kept getting. putin resigning. georgia goes blue. trump sues multiple states. supernatural trending over the election. people learning major political news via destiel screenshots. nevada. a whole bunch of other insane fandom news + rumors that started flying like dashcon 2.0 and the secret sherlock season (putin resigning also turned out to be a rumor but we thought it was real for a soild several hours). i think the internet just had no idea how to react that we collectively reached the next dimension. it was the most indescribable, hysterical outpouring of hilarity and togetherness ive ever experienced. when we say new emotions were invented that night we mean it. i miss it every single day
#sorry this is long#i always feel pretentious talking abt how 'yOu HaD To bE ThERe' but man#nov 5th is fundamentally unreplicable#not mcyt#spn#vees train of thought#vee makes posts#destielputinelection#big innit hotel honorary mentions
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s12 destiel from dean's perspective is explanation enough for why dean is sooooo insane after that season. like.
- first he almost kills himself for the greater good or whatever and has to come to terms with like. dying. on purpose. and then he is given the gift of life but before he can be like yay! i can go home! his mom is back from the dead??? and his brother is missing???
- then his mom leaves him bc she wants to figure out who she is and even tho he's like a 38 yo man it fucks w him a lot understandably.
-they get arrested and put in SOLITARY for a while and when they finally get out and meet cas again (at which point dean has once again come to terms with dying for the greater good but also mostly his mom and brother this time), he KILLS THE REAPER THEY MADE THE DEAL WITH AND GETS ALL EMOTIONAL??? after which he proceeds to fuck off bc he is Busy™ tracking lucifer etc.,
- then they get a lead and CAS ALMOST DIES IN FRONT OF HIS EYES and throws an I love you in his goodbye speech for the lolz. which. hahaha. anyway cas lives but turns out his mother — with whom he's trying to connect so badly so he can achieve full Normalcy — was like. lowkey responsible for his almost death. so they're fighting now.
- cas receives a divine voicemail from his close friend and colleague and then they go on that case with Lily sunder and ISHIM BEATS CAS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL HIM and even after they beat him Lily Sunder is like. I'm gonna go do some soul searching and if im in the mood I'll come back and KILL YOU. THREAT. and cas is like 😔 fair. so you know.
- there is also an instance of him losing his memories which is scary. and it's like. being intimately familiar with that experience is. something else. as a memory loss girlie let me tell you 👍🏽😄
- and then!!!!! lucifer's unborn child mind melds with his wifehusband — once more in front of his own two eyes — and "manipulates" him into running away with the pregnant lady instead of staying and Figuring Out A Solution. and when they finally do find cas, they are with them for all of 12 hours before HE DIES. FORREAL THIS TIME. AND LIKE THAT'S IT. NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE!
this is not an exhaustive list bc i don't remember everything but. like you know. he was primed to get worse and worse. all things that happen in s12 are out of his control but they are also things that happen in front of his eyes, and in ways that make him think that perhaps he did have control over them and he did fuck up some way and he *should* have done something to change the course of their lives so he's filled with guiltshame about it. and he decides that the solution to not losing anyone in the foreseeable future is to just. Control Every Possible Aspect Of Their Existence. which is impossible and that's why he gets mad all the time but YOU KNOW. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE'S CRAZY. poor s12 dean man.
#doe is talking again#just thinking thoughts#i MISS S12 BTW#EVERYTHING WAS SOOOO RIGHT#and then </3#also this is my bias against s13 showing bc i think it's STUPID#thete i said it idc about narrative importance s13 commits the worst crime of all: its boring as shit#and yeah I've only watched it once but i hated having yo watch it and supernatural WAS my favourite show back then even!!#snd an excuse to spend time with my v close friend!!! SO !!! EVEN THAT couldn't make s13 worth the time 😔#im also not a big fan of first half of s14 while we're at it.#i think it picks up in the second half thk when thsy start doinf family drama#anyway#ANYWAYSSSS#this is not meta or analysis im just thinking about s12 dean my baby#suicide ment
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💖💜💙 jensen's destiel or bi!dean auto/op/general con stories that spark joy 💖💜💙
*ofc i can't decide for you how much of this you find performative, it is a simple compilation. get your serotonin or get out ❤️
**incomplete so i'll add stuff as i (re)discover more
2016
jensen calling misha a slut because he didn't give him the destihl beer yet + jensen being gifted even more destihl beer and geeking out over the name to his handler + misha 2 years later saying jensen once offered him this beer in his trailer
2021
his reaction to someone's emotional resonance with the confession (dec)
jensen being excited about jackie's art
jensen wrote Watching Over Me about cas/destiel
jensen confirming dean was always thinking of cas and trying to find a way to get to him
2022
jensen winking at someone wearing a destiel pin
jensen really digging "totally platonic bros" destiel art
jensen wants a hellercon sticker too
"cope" photo op
jensen basically confirming WOM is about destiel
2023
can we talk about that goodbye a little bit?
choosing which tarot card to sign, picks the destiel "lovers" one ("oh, obviously")
jensen loving a "bisexuals with bad knees" shirt
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I have been doing this meta analysis thing for a long time now and one thing that I have always tried to make clear in meta analysis is that for it to be taken seriously you must keep your personal biases out of it. You must come at it as objective as possible.
Rant under the cut
Its not always easy to do when you are dealing with difficult topics, or shining unfavourable lights on characters you love, or coming to conclusions that you werent expecting (recent meta discussions about Morpheus in the Sandman comics would fall into these categories).
What meta analysis should never be used for is to back up ship wars or specifically to shame fandoms for liking certain characters. If the meta isnt providing valid evidence to support the interpretations, and instead has fallen into name calling and mockery of fandom, its no longer valid meta.
I got this ALL the time in SPN fandom. Destiel was a huge fandom but as meta writers we stuck with what we were given by the source material and interpreted it with valid evidence. We understood that multiple interpretations were possible but we made sure that whatever we were analysing made sense and had some source backing. This wasnt always the case because meta writers are not a monolith, but the bigger blogs who wrote meta frequently at least understood this and would not be stretching to support their own claims if canon didnt back it up. Now no one is perfect of course, but the point is, proper meta writers understand that where they make a claim or interpretation of the source material, they have to site examples and evidence to back up their claims and also take into consideration any evidence to the contrary.
The people who hated destiel and made that their entire personalities didnt do that so much. I read a lot of their meta out of curiosity and every time I was baffled by where they were getting their claims. 'Destiel is necrophilia" was a big one which canon disproved almost straight away in season 5. "Destiel is rape" was another because Cas was using Jimmy as a vessel and yet canon confirmed Jimmy died at the end of season 4. Cas' body was remade by God in season 5 and has remained his own ever since. These are just two of the ridiculous examples supposed "meta writers" among the destiel hater communities would come up with and still use today.
I find it extremely infuriating when I see character/ship hate loosely disguised as meta analysis. I can give people the benefit of the doubt a lot of the time, as fandoms are usually highly emotional spaces, but when there is zero canon evidence to support the claims, when connections are being made on the absolute thinnest of threads, and when far more obvious interpretations are being clearly ignored to support certain viewpoints in such a stunningly obvious case of confirmation bias I have to throw in the towel and stop taking said meta seriously.
One thing I have loved about Sandman fandom so far is the meta. It's such a rich text to analyse, and the show adds an entirely new level to it which makes it all the more enjoyable. I've made no secret of my support for Dreamling and I wrote a very long meta series on Dreamling and how the show in particular uses certain tropes, symbolism, visual storytelling cues, and music, to name a few, to overload a 25 minute sequence with queer coding. It is completely understandable to me why anyone going into the show even without thinking about shipping, would feel like Dreamling hit them like a brick to the face. The creators weren't subtle with it.
Its also totally valid to find romantic interpretations of other pairings within the Sandman. I personally think Morpheus x Johanna was laid on pretty thickly. Morpheus x Lucienne is equally an interesting ship to analyse. But heres the thing, if you ship these other ships and are frustrated that Dreamling has "taken over" thats valid. I get it. I would like more focus on the other characters too. I would particularly like to talk about Lucienne x Gault and have a meta piece in progress about them.
Whats not okay however is for other shippers and people frustrated with Dreamling to go the way of the Destiel antis. Dont make shit up that has no basis in canon just because you need some moral high ground to shit all over the ship you hate. Don't call fans that see Dreamling "deluded" for seeing it. They aren't deluded. It's right there in the subtext. Dont resort to name calling and "gotchas" and use inflammatory language to bait people. And please, I'm begging you, stop claiming that people who ship Dreamling are somehow all overly fragile white racists. You're wrong.
The racism discussions about Hob's past have their place, but these things ARE being discussed, if anything I feel this fandom has done a far better job of handling the issues of slavery than another popular fandom has (looking at you OFMD). No one is forgiving Hob for his slaver past. But you have to acknowledge that the entire point of the story in The Sandman is about change, and growth, and how we can become better people. As another excellent short meta post stated recently "we are more than the sum of our transgressions". The Sandman is all about the shades of grey. No one is morally righteous, but most characters are not completely morally bankrupt either.
Hob Gadling is a controversial character who is often misunderstood by fandom but anyone with proper critical thinking skills and a decent understanding of what meta analysis is, should understand that Hob is a metaphor for humanity first and foremost. He is the average everyman from the perspective of an Englishman and therefore above all else to understand Hob you have to look to England, to Englands history, and to its current status in the world. A lot of blood on its hands yes, but also at least a century of trying to make up for it, a leader in the world in human rights and trying to do better. I have to believe that about this country, so I believe it about Hob too. Whilst I'm not interesting in getting into huge geopolitical debates about England, I hope that we can all agree that the average Englishman today is not a blood thirsty evil slaver/rapist/murderer or whatever else ive seen people accuse Hob of being even in his modern era.
We can argue the faults of the show downplaying slavery for sure. Its a valid criticsm. We can argue that not enough time was given in the show to show that Hob had changed and regretted his former actions. We can critique these things based on what the show has and has not told us, and also pepper in information provided in the comics and what we know about future Hob panels as well.
But when it comes to the blank spaces in between frames, in between cut screens, we can do whatever we like. Because that is where meta analysis ends and fanfiction begins. You wanna write about Hob joining the abolitionist movement and fighting hard to end slavery? You can. You wanna write about him ignoring Dreams advice and continuing to be a brutal slaver right up until slavery was ended in England sure, you go for it. But don't call either of these "headcanons" meta analysis.
Dont use meta analysis as a cover to shit on fandom. The minute you resort to name calling and mockery its no longer meta. No matter how frustrated or upset you are with the current fandom situation. There is always space to criticise fandom. But ask yourself what your end goal is here? What are you trying to achieve? Is it truly because you are on a righteous path to end fandom racism? Or do you just really hate a popular ship and want people to stop shipping it? If it's the former, then focus on that, ask what solutions we can put in place? Where we can truly tackle it on a larger scale, raising awareness of things that people may not realise are racist but are common tropes in fandom (like how making female characters all mothers or sassy gay best friends is misogynistic or how certain stereotypes in fantasy creatures are anti semitic) but if its the latter, then its disingenuous to use racism in fandom as a shield to hide your ship hate. It reduces an important topic to something shallow and irrelevant.
In ending this rant I will just say this. I'm not interested in engaging further on this topic. I'm legit gonna start blocking if anyone attempts to twist my words here. The civil discussions on this matter ended when people started name calling and flinging around accusations without basis. I am more than happy to engage separately in ways to improve fandom spaces for poc, because thats important, but ship hating has no place in that discussion. Drop that aspect, and there'll be less resistance in these topics.
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If you are a Jared or Sam fan please don’t read this. If you are a Jared or Sam fan and you leave a comment I will block you without reading it so don’t bother. The end of season 6 (ep 20, 21 and 22) seems like a turning point for Destiel to me. Maybe I’ve read too many gay fan fics but it just seems like their relationship changed in these eps. Like before this point they obviously had feelings for each other but they both thought it was a crush and they both thought it would go away. Then in these eps it feels like because of the storyline they both kinda accepted their own feeling but too afraid to say anything.
In The Man Who Would Be King (think that’s right) from the very beginning of the ep there was a difference in the boys.
They were lying to each other and couldn’t even look each other in the eyes.
It looked like it was physically hurting Dean to lie to Cas and to even think that Cas was lying to him. He’s been lied to before usually by Sam and he gets pissed off but this isn’t a hurt by your brother look.
If Cas is just a friend to both Dean and Sam why is it that Sam had no problem believing Cas could lie to them and go behind their backs (that to me isn’t even friend behaviour) yet Dean defended Cas. I find it funny that Cas and Dean think they are hiding their feelings yet Bobby and Sam had to question Dean to find out what he said to Cas so obviously they know what affect they have on each other and that it’s not just friendship.
“You’re distracted.” “I’m holding up my end.” “Yes but what else are you holding up. The stench of that impala is all over your over coat angel.” So Crowley thinks Cas and Dean are haveing sex in the car by the sounds of it. I just found this funny considering only a few eps before the angel told Dean Cas was in love with him.
The fact that Cas was loosing his mind yet he still had to protect Dean and yet again he protected Dean first before Bobby and Sam and there was a small pause before he said “my friend.” It was like he wasn’t sure what to call Dean. Even at the end when Dean called Cas his family I think it surprised him. As soon as Dean said family Cas looked shocked. I think sometimes in the season he thought Dean just called him because he needed help not for any other reason and then knowing Dean thinks of him as family really surprised him. I know Dean said Cas was like a brother to him but I think he just didn’t know how to express his feeling without actually saying the truth and that was the easiest thing to say.
The moment tho that for me it all changed was when Cas was in the oil fire. Dean told Cas to look his in the eyes. It sounded like I know Bobby and Sam are here too but how could you do this to me. I’m different from them.
They both looked like they were trying not to cry. Both their eyes were glassy. Even Dean looking back at Cas before he left was emotional. He didn’t want to leave Cas in that fire. That whole scene to me was them admitting the truth to themselves.
In ep 21 I can’t believe how emotional this scene was. Like all Dean said was that Cas and Crowley can kiss his ass. Cas looks so hurt and scared and Dean has to actually put his hand up to his mouth to stop from crying.
I find it interesting that this is when they choose to get Lisa and Ben out of Deans life. I’m happy that they finally did it but it’s just interesting timeing. They could’ve done it at any point but no they chose to do it during this very Destiel episode.
I’ve heard that whenever Cas dies (which I’ve also heard is quite a few times) Dean gets depressed and suicidal. I guess in The New Boss was the beginning of it. I’m pretty sure drinking that much alcohol and watching Asian cartoon porn is considered depressed.
When Cas went to the church and the homophobic priest was trying to tell the people how god hates gay people and Cas says “your wrong. I’m utterly indifferent to sexual orientation.” They didn’t have to have the priest talk about gay people but they did. Then Cas confirming his opinion on it.
Then when they were trying to get death to kill Cas (I’m not convinced Dean would’ve let him actually do that) when death said there was more then just souls in Cas Dean looks worried for Cas. If he was willing to let death kill him he wouldn’t have been so worried.
Every time in these eps that Cas came it was always to talk to Dean never to talk to Sam. He didn’t care what Sam thought he just wanted Dean to understand what he was doing. Even when he thought he was going to die he was trying to make up with Dean. Bobby was in the room and Sam was in the building but it was Dean he wanted to make up with and it was Dean he said he was going to redeem himself to. He f*cked over a lot of people but he didn’t say I’m going to redeem myself to everyone or even you guys (as in Dean, Bobby and Sam). It was just Dean.
Last thing I think this was the first time I ever seen Dean choosing to save someone other than Sam first. When Dean went to get Sam and seen the jar of blood on the floor he had no idea what happened to Sam. Any other time he would’ve went back to Bobby with the blood and told Bobby to handle it so he could go find Sam but this time he chose to stay and save Cas. Even when those monsters took over Cas body Dean told Bobby to go get Sam. By the sounds of it he is starting to put Cas ahead of Sam. I like that.
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This week's writer's spotlight feature is: @pearynice! With twenty-eight Stranger Things works, they've written twenty-seven fics tagged with Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson!
Nominated by @hotluncheddie, they recommend the following works by peachesandpears:
Talk to Me
Personally
Starched Collars
In your eyes
they are so lovely and so talented!! so many short and sweet pieces - that so often seem to touch and soft squishy part hidden away within me, put a little bandaid on it <3 - @hotluncheddie
Below the cut, @pearynice answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
I’ve always loved the “opposites attract” trope. While Steddie is the first ship I’ve ever seriously written for, in the past this dynamic has always been my go to (ie: destiel lol) but Steddie specifically because I think Stranger Things is a great show with compelling characters, and that Eddie and Steve deserve a happy ending. And for me that happy ending will always have them with each other.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
I love AUs. Love seeing the little blorbos in as many situations as possible. I love being able to see how writers take what we know about these characters and make it into a whole new story. (But especially a soulmate AU. I loveeee a soulmate AU.)
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
I think anyone who follows me can probably guess hurt/ comfort and fluff. I LOVE making these boys suffer and then smooch about it.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
AH okay I will scream about this fic until I’m blue in the face (I actually submitted an ask to this blog about it because I think it’s criminally under-viewed!) it’s As the World Falls Down by daeneryske on Ao3. I read this MONTHS ago and I still think about it all the time. It’s long but god I wish it would never end. I want to tattoo it on the inside of my eyelids.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
Yes!! I can’t say much because it’s for my Reverse Big Bang but they both contain tropes I’ve never worked with before and I’m so so excited to be writing both of them!!! I’m already having so much fun!
And a goal of mine for 2024 is to broaden my writing horizons a little and explore tropes and topics that I haven’t yet, so I don’t really have any specifically in mind but that is my general plan!
What is your writing process like?
Very chaotic. I almost never write an outline. It’s pure vibes baby. And when I DO write an outline I almost never follow it (whoopsie) I feel like as I write the plot comes to me, and outlines tend to pigeon hole me so I can’t get myself out of writing slumps.
Do you have any writing quirks?
Maybe my overuse of italics?
I also don’t really know how to describe it but sometimes when I’m writing heavy action scenes/ emotional scenes I’ll start and stop sentences before they’re complete sentences. Like: “Steve says nothing. Sits down next to his father and looks over his shoulder.” I don’t know if that’s a writing quirk or not lol but that tends to be how I structure my sentences.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
Definitely after I’ve finished. Once I’m on a deadline I psych myself out.
Which fic are you most proud of?
That’s such a hard one, because I think I’m proud of a lot of my fics but for very different reasons. I think if I had to choose, I’d pick Blood of the Covenant. It’s one of my more recent fics, and I had toyed around with a Wayne POV fic for such a long time before writing because I wanted to get it right. It was hard to find his voice but I think in the end I executed it well.
How did you get the idea for Talk to Me?
Well besties I dunno how personal we want to get here, but the inspo for this fic (and tbh a lot of my hurt/ comfort fics) is just based on my own experiences. Growing up my mom did not have the capacity to tend to the thoughts and emotions of her kids, ergo me pushing that shit into a Steddie fic. Obviously what I wrote as Steve’s experience and mine are not directly parallel, but that is how I got the idea.
When writing Starched Collars, what was something you didn’t expect?
That was my first heavy hurt/comfort fic that I wrote, and I remember being really blown away that people could relate so heavily to Steve’s experiences. I remember I had some comments saying that they felt really comforted seeing their own experiences reflected within Steve, and I just never expected my writing to be able provide that for someone.
What inspired Personally?
Well, again, we’re getting a little personal (babum tss)- but how I wrote Steve’s mom reacting to him mentioning the sunglasses is definitely how my own mom tends to react when I express any kind of negative emotion around her. In this case it was a lost parking stub instead of sunglasses.
What was your favorite part to write from Talk to Me?
The COMFORT- that’s always my favorite part. Making it better! (Although it is also a little fun leaving the angsty cliffhanger- but I will ALWAYS make my fics have a happy ending.) But also I’m a little in love with the idea I had that Eddie likes to rub on Steve’s stomach until he falls asleep. I thought that wrapped up the story very nicely.
How do/did you feel writing Personally?
It was honestly very therapeutic. I don’t think I’ve ever word-vomited out a fic more rapidly than I did for that one. I wrote that in my notes app in one afternoon, read through it once or twice, and posted. It was a relief to get all of that out in writing, and then even better to see that other people found comfort in what I had written.
What was the most difficult part of writing Starched Collars?
When I was first drafting the fic I was going to have Starched Collars and In Your Eyes (the kinda sorta sequel) be one in the same. I spent a long time trying to balance the two narratives, before I realized it was just too much to fit into one fic. Having both detracted from the other’s story too much, and eventually I had it just focusing on Steve. I think this was the best move but I spent so long trying to strike that balance before I scrapped it.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
I don’t know if I can name any one scene or line as explicitly my favorite, but the final scene of Because it’s Steve it’s absolutely a favorite. That whole fic is very special to me because it reflects a lot of my own thoughts/feelings/experiences on being demi, and that final scene is just exactly how I experience my demisexuality. (I’m not sure how long this can be, but I’ll insert the passage here):
And they’re still in this disgusting bathroom. There’s still a toilet behind Eddie’s knees, but when Steve’s mouth meets his, it doesn’t matter. Because one of Steve’s arms wraps around his middle, his fingers dip into the spaces between his ribs, their chests touch, and it all feels so good. Because it’s Steve. And it’s still Steve who kisses him, still Steve who licks into his mouth, still Steve who nearly sends them both stumbling into the disgusting toilet.
And because it’s Steve it’s so funny that Eddie can’t stop laughing, and there’s a blush high on Steve’s cheeks as he tells Eddie to stop it. But then Steve kisses him again. Asks if he wants to go and find Robin and Nancy. If he wants to dance. With him.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
YES. So Because it’s Steve is now a series: Demi/Virgin!Eddie, with all of Eddie’s firsts with Steve. This is very smutty but it’s also like, the sappiest, most disgustingly fluffy smut I’ve ever written. I would say it’s “schmoopy” but I was outed as an Old Lady on Discord because apparently no one uses that word anymore.
ALSO- and maybe this is still too far away BUT I am working on TWO Reverse Big Bang pieces and… you guys… my artists are so talented and kind and their brains are so big and so far I’ve gotten along with each of them so well and I am already so excited to post these and we’ve only just begun. I cannot wait until we can make our visions into an entire fic!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
YES- whoever nominated me for this (I don’t know if that’s something they’ll tell me??) THANK YOU- this is so sweet. I feel so honored that someone thought of me as deserving of this. There are so, so many authors you could've chosen and you chose ME! That’s just- insane. Thank you.
And to anyone who has said they found my hurt/ comfort fics relatable in any way, I rain all of the platonic hugs/ forehead kisses/ handshakes/ high fives/ nods of the head upon you. ❤️✨
Thank you to our author, @pearynice, and our nominator, @hotluncheddie! See more of @pearynice's work featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#steddie#steddie fic recs#eddie munson#steve harrington#steve x eddie#stranger things#steddie writers#writer's spotlight#pearynice
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Some thoughts about Jensen Ackles, from the pov of a Dean/Jensen fan who is also a Cas/Misha fan and a Destiel shipper, TFW fan, and fan of found family on SPN. How he gets his arms pulled off between different aisles of the fandom, on multiple things, and how Jensen loves SPN.
One side has some people who accuse him of being phobic, while they ignore all his allyship, his support, and times he’s supported their view of the characters and the show, while another side has some people who…also accuse him of being phobic but pretend they aren’t, while they blame the other side and spew rhetoric about a false sense of disgust and hatred they invented and assigned to Jensen. His own lane even has some people who deploy biphobic rhetoric, claiming it’s to defend Jensen’s honor. They don’t seem to care that has little connection to the actual full breadth and depth of his viewpoints on the subject.
One side resents him if he speaks about his love of the brothers and touchstones that as the center of the show, while another side resents him if he shows any support for found family. Particularly if it’s Cas, then it’s accusations of “pandering.”
Jensen loves the brothers, Jensen also loves found family. Jensen put “family don’t end with blood” on his charity auction shirt revival-themed doodles. Not “Sam and Dean nobody else.”
And it’s always one lane or the other going “Jensen better do this” and “Jensen better do that.” Dance, monkey. Dance.
One side will rip him to pieces if he shows too much support for bi Dean and Destiel, another side will rip him to pieces if he doesn’t show enough support. Jensen’s whole-hearted support for queer Cas gets completely lost in all this noise.
Jensen walks a tightrope over a moat of razor wire and crocodiles, unable to speak clearly, while he tries to show in every way he can that he supports people who see bi Dean and who see Destiel. He pads his warm words about Dean and Cas’s relationship with prevarications and disclaimers, and that doesn’t mean what some people think. If you pay close attention to his words, it’s not a shutdown or an expression of his own dislike or aversion. He may in part be reconciling his own long-standing and sincere appreciation of the kindred spirits, brother-like, best friends dynamic of Dean and Cas, a relationship he is fond of and he played for 12 seasons, mixed with his own supportiveness about the concept of Dean being bi and mutually acknowledged canon Destiel. But he doesn’t want to say anything until the deal’s done and he can stand on top of it free and clear. He’s signaling as much support as he can, as much warmth as he can, without tipping his hand all the way.
Jensen held Misha’s cape for the love confession. He was openly enthusiastic about the episode and that scene. Jensen is not “against” anything, except maybe the hate. Including hate that denigrated and erased Jensen’s own superb performance and diminished and erased Dean’s pov and feelings and roiling and strong emotions, including Dean sobbing on the floor.
Jensen, who stuck up for everyone at SPN, fellow cast members, crew. Jensen who shows his interest in and love and respect for other characters and various relationships. Jensen who very clearly thinks holistically about the story and the show.
He sticks up for everyone, yet didn’t have room to breathe at the end of spn’s run to stick up for Dean. He had to fight with an EP for the right to even have Dean die standing on his feet, couldn’t get more than that, and was told “take or leave it” in the writers’ room about the ending. Which he had misgivings on. But reconciled with it eventually. Also before it was filmed, for a while, he thought it would be much better than it turned out to be after production shutdowns in March 2020 allowed for corporate to come in and derail the original full plans for the ending.
Jensen’s disappointment about Dean is self-evident, it’s also self-evident he’s not just disappointed about that. Dean, Cas, found family, all matter to him, not “just the brothers.”
Maybe Jensen didn’t want conflict and confrontation as the show came to an end. He loves SPN a lot. So he didn’t push the issue hard on Dean’s behalf. Maybe Jensen decided it was better to bide his time rather than confront.
And after all, before the series finale was even wrapped, he was already making his own plans, forming his own production company and contemplating SPN revival and spinoffs, and then Jensen wound up as THEE producer of the SPN universe—prequels, revivals, spinoffs and all.
For the prequel, he worked with creatives to find a way to start repairing the damage done in Dean’s ending, and opened up the story to hope, to possibilities, to start repairing damage done on other things as well. And he got hate from some in the lane that was supposed to love and respect both J’s the most, he got blamed for caring, for having agency, for caring about Dean, for caring about the SPN universe, for caring about the story. He got blamed for making a TV show and got blamed for asserting himself about Dean in the way he’d decided was best for him, the way he preferred to deal with it.
Jensen cares in a very wide way. Like Dean, his heart is very big. He doesn’t hate the way certain antis keep claiming he hates. He’s also empathetic, open-minded, curious, intelligent, he listens, and his pov evolves, which is true of fans too. (It’s not any kind of an insult to point out that he’s capable of understanding and learning and growing—it’s nothing I don’t apply for myself, and don’t try to do myself—and Jensen himself has talked about the importance of these things. It’s how many people do, it’s how it should be.)
Jensen ushered in a prequel that was about found family as well as tying back to the brothers and their family, but very much linked to Dean’s pov and Dean’s story. At no point did he abandon his love for the brothers. It’s that this isn’t the only thing that matters to him. He’s going to usher in a revival that is about Sam and Dean and their family. And maybe get some more healing for himself (and for fans who care about Dean) on Dean’s story, as well as some other things.
“I love this character, I love the story of these two brothers and I love what it stands for and I love the world that they live in and the family that they have acquired through their years. There’s so much love and attachment to that show. There’s a reason that it went 15 years.” —Jensen Ackles on the Inside of you podcast, January 18, 2022
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DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 24 | Firsts
Worth Waking Up For | @blessyourhondahurley
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 1,565
Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Morning After, One Night Stand, bottom!Dean
Summary: The morning after a one-night stand, Dean and Cas hash out some differences in temperament.
A Most Wonderful Time | @pluckydean
Rating: General
Word Count: 2,007
Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Alternate Universe, Office Christmas Party, First Date
Summary: Dean despised champagne and idle chit chat and stuffy corporate parties. He was here for one reason and one alone: to finally talk to his long time crush, Castiel Novak.
Ridden Hard | Destielshipper4Cas (AO3)
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 2,433
Main Tags/Warnings: Strangers to Lovers, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Submissive Alpha Cas, Omega Dean, Top Dean, Bottom Cas, First Time, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Summary: Alpha Castiel tries to pick up an omega at a rut bar and gets fucked by a feisty omega for his trouble.
Like Something Holy | @pointyearedelvishprincling
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3,042
Main Tags/Warnings: religious imagery & symbolism, castiel can hear longing, first kiss, emotional hurt/comfort, oral sex, post godstiel arc
Summary: Still struggling with the fallout of his Godstiel days, Cas breaks down after a hunt. Hearing Dean's longing behind the comfort of his words, they finally find some much needed closure.
it started with a photograph | @demonmary
Rating: No Rating
Word Count: 3,821
Main Tags/Warnings: Closeted Dean Winchester, AU : Boarding School, Secret Relationship, Fluff, Kisses
Summary: Not even twenty minutes prior, Cas had been curled in the corner of the hallway, tucked into his English studies. So many things had changed in such a remarkably short amount of time. And on top of that, Castiel was comfortable, joking with Dean and acting like this was alright. Like it was normal. Could it be?
Hunger Pains | @follows-the-bees
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 6,657
Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Creature Castiel, stabbing, firsts, mutual pining,
Summary: Castiel has been able to keep his hunger in check but now nothing can quite sate it, except perhaps his next-door neighbor and best friend Dean Winchester.
A Kind of Paradise | @viridiandecisions
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 9,851
Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Library, Librarian Castiel (Supernatural), Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Cat Owner Castiel (Supernatural), References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Flustered Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Self-Indulgent Book Recs, Flirting Via Books, Castiel Wears Glasses (Supernatural), US Midwest, Summer
Summary: "Hello, Dean," Castiel rumbles at him, and God, the way his name sounds in Castiel's mouth. Dean could drop a rock down the well of that voice and never hear it hit bottom. "Charlie said you might stop by. Is there anything new I can help you find?" "I just wanted to check you out, uh—check these out. The books. For my brother. Sammy needs more books." Fuck Dean's life.
at the edge of chaos | @sharkfish
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 10,154
Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Dinosaurs, Paleontologist Cas, Photographer Dean, Trans Dean
Summary: They saw some dinosaurs in the fly-over the day before, so Dean knew he was really, actually, truly going to see real, actual, true dinosaurs, but he still almost drops his camera in the mud when the first stegosaurus comes out of the trees.
Stunned, Dean says, “I’m going to win a Pulitzer.”
Equally stunned, Cas says, “How do I go back to bones after this?”
you should floss more | @songliili
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 15,440
Main Tags/Warnings: Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Dentist Castiel (Supernatural), Interior Designer Dean Winchester, Meet-Cute, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Date, idiots to lovers
Summary: “You know I told you I had to book an appointment to a new dentist? Because the old one retired? Well I may or may not have said something huh inappropriate? Not on purpose! I swear!”
“Dean. What did you do?”
“Well, huh he- he said something about us being strangers or whatever and I- well, I said 'you’re not a stranger, you’ve been inside my mouth for 20 minutes!'”
OR the one where Dean embarrasses himself at the dentist and still manages to get a date with the blue-eyed dentist.
For Evermore | @casblackfeathers
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 110,572
Main Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, childhood friends, reunion, mutual pining, underage drinking, panic attacks, top Castiel, bottom Dean, top Dean, bottom Castiel, friends to lovers, fluff and angst, soft Dean, single parent Dean, misunderstandings, hurt and comfort, virgin Castiel, Dean’s first time with a man
Summary: There's no place like home. This was a line Castiel used to know by heart when he was a kid, watching The Wizard of Oz and believing fairytales were real.
At thirty-one years old, he isn't a kid anymore, and it has been twelve years since he has known what home feels like. Twelve years. That's when his world had come crashing down and he had left his hometown, Holly Springs, with the broken pieces of what he once was to build a new life in San Francisco.
But as circumstances force him to come back to the only place he swore he would never return to, Castiel is finally forced to face everything he once knew and loved. Especially when said everything is made of spring-green eyes and a stardust of freckles, wrapped in all the memories Castiel was not able to erase from his heart.
After twelve years, Dean is as mesmerizing as Castiel remembers, but the scars of what was broken still run as deeply as the marrow of his bones, and Castiel will do everything he can to protect himself. After all, his favorite movie also taught him that 'until hearts can be made unbreakable,' he can’t listen to his own.
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