#felling like my friends hate me and that im the most annoying person in the worlf
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haha
#felling like my friends hate me and that im the most annoying person in the worlf#even though we literally just saw each other and they were acting fine#but like#what if they just pretend to be happy talking to me and actually hate me and never wanna talk to me again#haha#꩜ canine woofs#vent#tw vent
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noble house of bullshit | draco malfoy x f!reader
Summary: draco and reader broke up because of stupid reasons, but they'll have to marry and this is about resolving your relationship
Warnings : angst, fluff, happy ending, fights, curse words, pet names like 'love and doll', you are Theodore nott twin sister, old wip
'My dearest daughter, y/n
We remember that you've mentioned about the malfoy boy several times, draco malfoy. And it seems like you two are perfect.
From what your brother have said to us a few weeks ago, we found out that you had an eye on malfoy, and malfoy might be interested in you too.
We thought it'll be great, so, we arranged some stuff with lucius and narcissa malfoy, and, they've got letters from draco, some is about you.
And we arranged some stuff, and thought it'll be best if you two will marry after finishing Hogwarts. We thought that, we'd wait until you actually had some one that you were interested in to, then arrange somethings.
We know this isn't the most thrilling choice, or maybe it is, we just want the best for our Pureblood family. We didn't know when to tell you, but Draco knew about this a week ago, and we thought he'd tell you but he didn't, so we told you our self.
Well, we'll be ending this letter here, but, have a great day, y/n, we miss you
-your father and mother, dorian and cornelia'
You dropped the letter. Marriage? After finishing Hogwarts? Were you gonna go crazy like bellatrix did?
Sure, if they told you that a week ago you'd be happy. The only person who knew you had a messy breakup with draco was theo, and blaise.
Theo have never shaded someone this much before. And, to see him having fun after breaking your heart was painful for you.
You climbed up to your bed, thinking about the good times you had with draco since the start of Hogwarts. The 'oh this is just a small crush' turned into 'oh, I fell for him'. Even with the quite questionable things draco has done, he was a sweetheart. You remembered everything vividly.
"Love? You okay? " Draco said. You weren't okay. "Draco, ginny is gone" You cried. Remembering the first year girl that you grew quite close too. "Ginny? Weasley? " Draco said, he sounded like he wad annoying. "As much as you hate her family, you'd feel sad if someone is gone, right? Wouldn't you be sad if i was gone? " You wiped your tears.
"Oh doll,'sorry that Ive said that, and, of course I'd be said if you were gone, I'd be a mess" Draco said.
You wished you hated Ginny, and for good reasons. If that hadn't happen you wouldn't grow feelings. If only you two stayed friends you'd be fine.
"What the fuck Draco! " You screamed. "What? Is it my fault that you probably just 'love me' because I'm a Pureblood? Oh please" Draco mocked. The tears came out of your eyes so easily. "I love you, draco, why'd you say that?" You looked down.
"Cause.. You know what never mind that, just, it's over alright, we're over. Go" Draco took your hands, but you threw it away. "You think I'd marry someone just because of their blood status. But no, I'd never do that" You walked out of his room.
"I'd never do that, he says" You scoff on your bed, sobbing. "I hate you" You curled up, hugging your pillow.
Someone opened the door and gasped. "Y/n are you okay? " Daphne said. "I'm not well, not really" You said. "Oh gosh, should I get Draco? " She said. Which, hit the spot. "Is Theo there? " You asked. "There? Where? ", " Common room"."yes, he is in the common room " Daphne gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Daphne, uhm, Im going to talk to him" You gave a smile.
"Theo" You walked down the stairs. To see the Slytherin boys circle. And that sadly includes both Draco, and Theo.
"Lo- y/n, you alright? " Draco said. But you didn't answer. "Can I talk to you for a second, Theo? " You gave a weak smile to the rest of the boys, but not even looking at Draco. "Sure" Theo walked away, well still in the common room, no one was really there, just some first year.
You immediately cried again. "Y/n". "Did you know? " You said. "What? " Theodore said. "Father and mother made me marry him! Some arrangement shit! " You cried, hugging him. "Him? Draco? " Theo guessed, and you nodded.
"I need to be tough, but I can't." You cried. "You don't need to be tough, y/n, you just need to be here, alright? We're gonna solve everything, alright, I'll tell mom something but, go to sleep, okay, I promise you'll feel better.
"Don't tell mother, or father" You said, receiving a sigh and a small nod. While that night was a rollercoaster and felt like a few seconds, it felt like hours for Draco.
Theo walked to draco, well the others sorta knee by then about what happened, so they walked away and sat on another spot.
"Draco. How dare you" Theo said. "How dare I? She was the one who 'loved' me just because I'm a Pureblood" Draco scoffed.
"Listen, you don't get to just have fun after breaking my sisters heart. She's a mess, and after a day you acted like nothing happened, like you and her never exists and it broke her, you broke her and now your parents and mine are arranging marriage between the two of you, so you better fix things, or I'll fix them my self" Theo threatened.
"She doesn't even want to talk to me! " Draco said. "And was I the guy who broke her heart? You are, and, Id you don't fix things to atleast platonic level you two will spend the rest of your live in misery, maybe just her cause you don't even care do you? " Theo scoffed.
"I care for her, I love her! Until mom told me that we were getting married. I don't want to get married so young and I don't want to be with her, not because I believe that she only loves me because of my blood status, but because I need her to be happy, I don't want her marrying someone like me, I might love and care about her now but who knows what monster I might become later, I don't want to hurt her more" Draco mumbled.
"Well you fucked up already, Draco, just, do something and be lovely for her alright, Daphne told me she, she's not really at her best state so just don't force her into anything" Theo said, patting dracos shoulders before leaving, deciding it was enough rambling.
Well, that night not only Draco stayed up late, but the whole dorm. Everyone heard draco sniffing and mumbling, and being scrunched up on his bed.
And little did he know, you were doing the same thing too.
The next morning was tough. The trip to the great Hall was tough. Draco was so close yet so far. His eyes looked puffy 'he probably stayed up late talking shit or something ' you thought.
You barely ate your food, just watching Draco from afar, watching the person you couldve been happy with. The person you could've married happily. But now it's grim.
The library was silent, reading dorian gray was fun, especially when your fathers name is dorian. The book you used to read with draco was Lord of the rings. You wanted to continue but, it was too much. 'What happened to frodo, what happened to the shire' is what you would've asked if you were fine, but right now you were asking yourself if you were alright. The sun goes down, and the moon comes up.
"Y/n? " You recognised the voice. "Go away, like you told me to go away" You huffed. "Y/n, just wait" He said.
You turned and look at the blonde. Showing your bloodshot eyes, but shockingly, he had bloodshot eyes too. "What do you want draco? Make me feel bad again? " You said.
"No, never again y/n, it was a mistake! I knew we were going to get married before you did. I didn't want you to marry someone like me" Draco said, sitting on the chairs next to you.
"Well, haha, it happens that I want someone like you, you Draco, is it so hard to accept that I fell for you? " You said, standing up and putting the book where it was.
"It's not, y/n I know you love me and you know I love you! " He says. You ignored him.
"I just don't, you, you broke my heart Draco and you were out there having fun with your friends. Even they have some bit of common sense to care for me! Even in a brotherly-platonic way! But oh, you were having the best time of your life. The boys were worried, even crabbe too, but you didn't care did you? That you just full on broke my heart? We couldve sorted this out. And if you didn't want to spend you years with me we couldve solved this in a better way than breaking me into a million pieces! It's just not fair! "You cried out.
"Y/n, y/n, calm down, will you, love? ", Draco slowly got closer to you. Draco looks at your eyes. " I'm sorry, y/n, I really am sorry. I love you and, to know that I broke your heart messed me up and made me a bit of an asshole, but, I swear I'll be the best husband ever, y/n, I love you"
"I'm sorry too, Draco, I was a bit hars-", " You didn't do anything wrong " Draco cut off. "Well in that case, I love you" You smiled, the first genuine smile.
"We'll grow a family free from blood purity and all of that noble house of bullshit, we'll be a loving family, alright, doll? " Draco said, receiving a smile and a nod.
#fanfic#fanfiction#y/n story#hogwarts#harry potter#draco angst#draco fic#draco lucius malfoy#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy fanfic#draco imagine#draco fluff#draco x y/n#draco x you#draco malfoy x slytherin!reader#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy angst#draco malfoy#draco lucius malfoy x you
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I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.
i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶
this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been
DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care
APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail
AHB - ashley herring blake
SO!
these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.
which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.
and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol
and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.
which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?
this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:
the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.
the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.
the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.
men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.
men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).
the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.
and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀
anyway. the radfem-y stuff.
the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.
but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).
delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).
so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.
(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)
and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.
but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).
ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓
#asks#yayyyy being critical about books#TY FOR THIS BTW#i know most of my posts complaining about books lean a lot more into the comedic#but i do genuinely think the bright falls books are like. insidiously bio/gender essentialist#and i hope that people can work to recognize this kind of stuff (i know its a lot more obvious in m/f romance because of the overwhelming#obsession with the size difference between the f lead and the m lead) when its more quiet like this#because its fucking gross to be reading a (supposedly) cute romance only to get smacked over the head with covert conservatism#when the books are marketed & frankly pandered to people who are not conservative!#delilah green doesn't care#astrid parker doesn't fail#ashley herring blake#ashley herring blake critical#i realize that i spent a lot of time talking about astrids book more than delilahs book but. ah well. i read it more recently#and its more obvious that dgdc was 🤷♂️
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where have i been?
an update for those curious.
hey there my loves, long time no see.
i’m not sure how many of you will actually read this or care to see why i haven’t written in over a year now but typing this stuff out helps me process and get back into my groove.
well, today is january 16, 2024. the last thing i posted that was an actual one shot was posted on january 3, 2023. i haven’t written since. 2023 was my worst year yet and caused me to learn a lot about people and myself.
things were going alright in the beginning, i was in my second semester of college and my biggest problem was 2 of my 3 roommates (lived in a quad) hated each other so me and my bestie/3rd roommate had to play mediator and it was exhausting. i started liking a guy and got my hopes up. and i started to get more and more annoyed with school and my living situation every day. i was ecstatic to move out of that room despite hating my hometown. the day of move out, one of my roommates who i thought was someone very close to me blocked me and all of our friends on everything with no explanation but we knew she wasn’t coming back for 23-24.
i like where i grew up for a maximum of a week at a time, after that my depression just kicks my ass and im not having a great time. my plan for the summer was to work my ass off so much so that i wouldn’t have time to think of anything else. that backfired, because a few days after i came home one of my two jobs fell through unexpectedly and my other job was giving me less than half the hours they promised me. i was broke. everyone says it’s so easy to get a job these days because everyone is hiring but i applied to over ten places within a reasonable distance from me and didn’t get a single one. so i spent too much time with myself and that’s not normally a good thing.
to make matters even worse, in june my mom was sentenced to three years in prison for a crime she committed back in 2020. i don’t want to get into too many specifics, but my mom would never harm anyone she just has struggled with addiction. my mom was my constant emotional support, and knowing she was no longer going to be around ripped me to shreds. not even a month later after my mom was shipped off to prison, my dog died. and i know you might think “dogs die all the time it’s a pet.” but my dog was much more than that. she wasn’t even three years old and was a beautiful great pyrenees german shepard mix and she was the sweetest girl ever. i don’t care how ridiculous it sounds, because i know my soul and hers were meant to be together. i was even in the process of registering her as an emotional support animal so i could take her to college with me because she was finally old enough and for the most part out of the puppy phase. but one night out of nowhere she got really sick and within an hour of her showing signs something was wrong she died while i was holding her. not the greatest thing for a 19 year old who’s already struggling to experience. it took my over a month to stop seeing her like that every time i closed my eyes. call me dramatic, but that dog really was a child to me.
after that, i went to stay with my cousin for a few weeks and that was nice but i still knew i wasn’t feeling right. i moved back to school in august and had way too high of hopes that everything would fix itself. surprise, it didn’t. in fact, i just got worse. i reached lows i haven’t hit in over two years. i was having roommate problems, i was trying to do way too much at once, and i was neglecting my health. i had a breakdown.
the highlight of my semester was taking a week off to visit my best friend since age 2 for her birthday (she lives roughly a 2 hour plane ride away from me now) with our other two best friends. then i came back and immediately totaled my car. my car was a piece of shit yes, but it got me places. not having a car when you’re a person who drives around to destress is not fun. i was even worse mentally at this point and i was trying so so hard to get into my overbooked doctor to get my medications raised. the only constant i had were my three friends at school and my studies. so i threw myself into them. i was never alone and if i was i was nose deep in a text book. i was just avoiding the rest of my existence. i was able to get my meds upped and decided i was done wallowing. i started a diet that is actually manageable and enjoyable and discovered for the first time workouts that i actually liked doing. it was something small, but i knew i was turning myself around.
i went home for winter break knowing it was going to be tough. i also had to spend this time looking for a new car. it was an extremely stressful process to say the least. but i focused on myself, taking all the time for myself that i needed and processing everything that had made me get to such a bad place. i’ve always been very spiritual, so i dove more into that as well as trusting the universe.
i’ve decided that 2024 will be my best year yet. i got a new car, im getting a new job, im doing great in school, my mom is getting released from prison literally six hours after i post this, and im taking care of myself in more ways than one. while doing a lot of that reflecting, i remembered how much i used to love to write and how that passion just died after loving it since i was ten. i started small, doing short story exercises and getting into reading again. i finally, after an entire year, have my passion for writing back.
i can’t promise i’ll be consistent with uploads because i’ve decided that my goal for the year is to write a novel. so that project is going to be my main focus and it isn’t anything fanfic related, it’s actually a psychological thriller. more than likely i will be asking for opinions on here throughout the year as well.
with that said, my plans this year for this blog are to keep posting. eddie munson is mainly who i write for, but i want to expand my horizons. i want to challenge myself with genres and types of characters. i will greatly appreciate any requests you can give and i promise i will read through them. if i don’t post them right away, just know it may come out three months later. sometimes inspiration sparks at weird times.
if you’ve read this far, thank you. i hope this can inspire you to see that there’s light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes you’ve gotta dig the extra dirt to it yourself. beyond thankful to anyone who was here a year ago and has come back to read my new stuff- you made an aspiring writer really proud of herself.
much much love
-eddiemunsonswhxre 🤍
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11:11 make a wish
jungwon imagine
fluff.the tiniest bit of angst.enemies to lovers.school au
featuring: beomgyu txt, yunjin leserrafim, and danielle new jeans
definitely over 3k words im so sorry y’all
Yang Jungwon. You hated him. Everything about him was triggering to you. Everybody knew you hated him, including him, but no one could understand why. Jungwon was class president, he was extremely active in school activities and was constantly socializing with others around him. He was part of the soccer team and was an ‘A’ student in every subject. The boys were jealous of his grades and style, while the girls fell for his charms and dimpled smile. But it was all an act and you knew it. How could someone as despicable as Jungwon be so loved by all?
It all started back in middle school. You were a new student in a whole new country and had no clue what you were doing. Your slightly stained sneakers squeaked against the hallway floors as you made your way to your classroom. You balled up your sweaty palms and knocked lightly against the door.
“Oh! You must be y/n, welcome, come in!”
You could hear the murmur of the classmates as you made your way inside the colorful sunlit classroom.
“We have a new student?”
“Where is she from?”
“She’s so pretty!”
You stood awkwardly at the front of the class not knowing what to do with yourself. The teacher made her way over to you and placed a gentle hand on the small of your back.
“I’m Mrs. Choi, and this is class 31B. Would you please introduce yourself to the class?”
You froze. You weren’t expecting to have to do this in front of everybody. This wasn’t what you were used to and it instantly made you nervous.
“Um, hello everybody! M-my name is y/n. Please take c-care of me.”
You heard a snicker from across the room and that’s when you saw him for the first time. Yang Jungwon. He was sitting alone with his arms crossed, elbows rested on the table in front of him. He was laughing to himself staring right at you. Immediately you felt a rush of emotions. In your 12 years of life you have never seen a boy this cute before. You thought his black hair fell perfectly across his forehead, and his eyes were the biggest you’ve ever seen. But what got you the most were those dimples. You felt as if you could drown in them. That’s a lot of emotions for an 12 year old. Mrs. Choi’s voice snapped you out of your trance.
“Jungwon, let’s try to be polite. Y/n is nervous. It’s her first day.”
With this Jungwon rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair so that his back is touching it. His arms are still crossed except this time, he looks annoyed. You are beyond excited you now know this boy’s name. Mrs. Choi turns to you and smiles.
“Y/n dear, you can sit next to Jungwon. It’s the only seat open.”
Nodding you make you way to his desk and pull out the chair to sit next to him. As Mrs. Choi continues her lesson, you keep looking over at Jungwon trying to make eye contact with him.
“I should at least talk to him, I want to be his friend.” You thought to yourself
“If you keep staring like that your eyes will bulge out of their sockets and roll off the table”
Shocked your eyes widen
“See? it’s happening already.” he says, a slight smirk growing on his face
You stuck out your hand “I’m y/n. Could we be friends?”
He stared at your hand with a blank expression. “I already know your name. Honestly I’m quite surprised I even heard you with the amount of stuttering you were doing up there”
Defeated you frowned and let your hand drop down into your lap. “Do you have to be so rude?”
He looked up at you and furrowed his eyebrows “Well no one asked you to be nice.”
As each day, week, month, and year passes by you spent your time in middle school studying, but also making your best efforts to become friends with jungwon. He came off a little rude yes, but you believed he was a kind person deep down. You knew he had a heart. And yours was longing for him. But after trying and trying and trying and only getting cold harsh responses in return, you decided to give it one last shot during eighth grade graduation. But as you watched him walk away from you, the flowers you’ve given him discarded on the floor, you decided from this point on, you hated Yang Jungwon.
~
The both of you are in your final year of highschool now. With graduation around the corner your stress levels have been slowly building up. You feel as if you can barely catch up in school and the chances of you graduating is on the line.
“You’re being so dramatic y/n my grades are even worse than yours and you don’t see ME freaking out do you?”
Beomgyu and you became friends in freshman year of high school. He was a new student and reminded you of yourself. You went up to converse with him and the two of you instantly clicked.
“Beomgyu, that’s different. i WANT to graduate. you don’t care.” you say burying you hands in your hair as you look over you schedule that’s currently overflowing with workload.
Yunjin snickers “I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen beomgyu actually take school seriously”
“Right.” Danielle agrees
Dani and Yunjin picked you up from the crowd of high schoolers to join their chatotic duo two years ago. You later introduced them to Beomgyu and the four of you have been inseparable ever since.
“You guys are literally only ganging up on me because i’m the only guy here.” Beomgyu pouts
“Cmon guys,” you say as you pick up your books and stuff as much of your lunch as you can into your mouth and swallowing before finishing your sentence “let’s go, we can’t be late for English.”
You dreaded English class the most. Not because of the actual lessons. English is the class you’re actually excelling. What makes you hate the class is because it’s the only class you share with Jungwon. Ever since your failed confession, left feeling upset and humiliated in the field, you never spared him another glance. You stopped talking to him completely. He never acknowledged you either, and as much as you hated him it still made you a little upset. Sitting at your desk, you completely tuned out the teacher as he talked about your final for this year.
“…it is worth 50% of your grade this year and is a partner project.” You perked up at this. The class also livens and students start to chatter excitedly. Immediately you look over at beomgyu, who was already looking at you. You two made a great pair when it came to projects.
“Not so fast everyone, the partners have already been decided.” The class groans out of annoyance and even you feel a little disappointed. If you don’t work with, Gyu there is no way you’re going to do good on this project. You and Beomgyu have gotten used to each other, and have a certain way of doing things. You look over at him slightly pouting and he mouths to you cursing the teacher, which makes you smile a little.
The teacher starts reading out the list of students and you cross your fingers praying for a miracle.
“Y/n and..”
You’re practically sweating at this point pleading in you head. “please say beomgyu please say beomgyu please say beomgyu”
“jungwon”
Your eyes shoot open. You look over at him to find him sitting there just as shocked as you were. Jungwon looked over and locked eyes with you and you quickly looked away. It’s been years since you’ve last looked into his eyes, and even if it was for a split second..your heart flipped.
~
You sat in your chemistry class zoning out as your lab partner did your experiment. You couldn’t believe what just happened. Almost four whole years of completely ignoring jungwon and here you were, as his partner in english. You were upset. This was definitely going to be awkward. Just thinking about it made your stomach turn and you quickly raised your hand. Your teacher looked at you and raised her brow.
“Uh, may I please use the restroom?” The teacher nods gesturing for you to grab the hall pass before reminding you to quickly return. You walked down the hallway lost in your thoughts. You weren’t really using the bathroom, you just wanted to take this chance to take a walk and give yourself a break. Thinking about what just happened twenty minutes ago was really adding onto your stress. As you rounded the corner you bumped into someone.
“Oh my god I am so sorr-“
Your mouth drys as you see who it is. No longer apologetic you straighten yourself up.
“It’s fine..aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?” Jungwon asks
You’re taken aback. He’s so different now. How could speak to you so casually? But besides that Jungwon has changed a lot more than you thought. In the past few years, jungwon has grown taller and now stands almost a head taller than you. His shoulders are broad and his aura is confident. He smiles a little at you. That’s new. You weren’t used to him being so nice towards you. However, you caught the familiar dents in his cheeks and it makes your heart swell.
Clearing your throat you reply. “That’s not any of your business. If anything I should be asking you the same question.” He chuckles lightly at this.
“Alright that’s fair.” He holds up a stack of papers. “Mr. Kim asked me to go make some copies”
You looked at him and responded “Ok. I’m gonna get going now.”
He grabs your wrist and says “Hold on, could I get your number?” Your eyes widen and you pull your wrist from his grip.
“Jungwon I don’t know who you think you are but if you think I still like you after all these years you’re wrong.” Jungwon blinks at you confused. You could swear his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.
“Ok, that wasn’t what I was trying to bring up. I need your number for the project. It’s an after school thing. Mr. Park isn’t giving us any class time to work on it in school” Now it was your turn to be confused. It’s an after school project? You wish you would’ve paid better attention.
“Oh. Alright fine here. sorry.” You ask for his phone and he placed it in your hand. You type in your number and give it to him walking away. When you’re sure you’re far enough away you let out a huge breath. What just happened? What confused you the most was how different jungwon was. He wasn’t rude and snobby, he didn’t reject your conversation, heck he even initiated it. You almost couldn’t believe it.
~
Jungwon texted you that night asking to meet during the weekend to start the project. You agreed reluctantly and immediately belly flopped onto your bed groaning into your pillow. You’ve avoided and ignored him all this time but now that he’s being nice to you, your feelings are starting to come back. You hate it.
The week past by unfortunately fast, and before you know it, you’re standing in front of Jungwon’s door. Your hands were once again sweaty and hanging at your sides, your backpack all of a sudden feeling like it’s weighing you down. After waiting what felt like hours but was really only two minutes. You could hear his footsteps on the stairs as he ran down and opened the door facing you. He was wearing a navy blue hoodie and black sweats. His hair was slightly messy and you resisted the urge to reach out and touch it.
Before he could say anything however, a little white dog came running up to you, pouncing around your legs panting with excitement. You giggle and bend down a little to pet him. “Hello there cutie! Who are you?”
Jungwon smiles at the sight and squats down next to you. “His name is Maeumi, looks like he likes you.” You can barely respond not because of the insane beating of you heart having Jungwon so close to you after so long, but because Maeumi is ALL OVER YOU. He’s licking you, jumping on you, and practically begging to get picked up. So that’s exactly what you do. You’re so distracted you almost forget you’re supposed to hate Jungwon because after what felt like forever you looked at him and gave him a genuine smile. He smiled back, his dimples flashing and his eyes turning into crescents. You eventually snap back into it as you realize you have a project to work on. Quickly kissing the dog on the head you set him down and turn to Jungwon.
“So, ahem. where are we gonna work on this project?” you looked at him as he fidgeted slightly. “My parents need the living room and the kitchen soon so I was thinking my room?”
You gulped. This was the first time you were ever spending time alone with a boy in his room. Let alone that boy being Jungwon. Despite feeling the heat crawling up to your cheeks, you calmy respond. “sure.”
Yang Jungwon’s room was just like him. Neat, organized, and comfortable. Everything in his room was lined up and his bed was completely made. Soccer posters and academic awards sprinkled his walls and a small dog bed in the corner was littered with toys and blankets.
“For some reason I never expected your room to be so neat.” You commented. Jungwon laughs a little and you find yourself almost melting. This wasn’t the plan.
“The more you know I guess.” He continues to smile as he gets out his supplies and invites you to sit down on the floor across from him. For the next few hours you guys worked on your project, talked, and even joked around. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have fun with him. You enjoyed his presence and was surprised Jungwon turned out to become such an incredible guy. As the evening neared the both of you relocated. You sitting criss crossed on his bed, and jungwon at his desk playing video games. You two decided to take a small break before resuming the project, and you couldn’t help but feel sleepy. Your eyelids were getting heavy as you listened to jungwon clack away at his keyboard, and felt the gentle breeze of the AC.
You don’t know when you fell asleep but you did. You sat up in a panic seeing it was already dark outside. You looked around and saw that you were tucked under the sheets with your shoes taken off. As you got up and started packing up your things getting ready to leave, jungwon entered his room.
“Oh, you’re up? i saw you sleeping and you looked too comfortable I didn’t want to wake you. I took off your shoes and tucked you in. I hope you don’t mind.” Jungwon awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck while he was explaining this to you and you giggled
“It’s okay I should get going.” Jungwon nods but stops you.
“Hold on sorry it’s a bit messy downstairs right now..do you mind if i just clean up a little? it won’t take long.” you smile at him and nod. “ of course do whatever you need.”
You set down your bag as you sat on the edge of his bed, looking around and taking in the day. You had the best time with jungwon today. Jungwon. If you told that to yourself a few years back you’d be repulsed. You laughed to yourself at the thought that you might actually still love jungwon. Pushing off of his bed you got up to look around his room some more. In a swift movement you accidentally knocked down a small jar.
“dang it.” you always cursed yourself for being so clumsy. As you bent down to pick up what was in the jar, you gasped at the discovery of what they were. Back when you were in middle school, chasing around jungwon like crazy, you wrote him little sticky notes for a month, hoping he’d get the hint. You did it know he KEPT them all this time. Stuffing them back in the jar and placing it back where it was, you sat back down with a fluttering sensation in your chest. Did Jungwon like you too?
~
It’s been a few weeks with Jungwon, and you were happy. So happy. He was so friendly and kind, and there was so much to learn about him it felt like a new aspect was added everytime you guys hung out. It was late one night and you stayed over for dinner. His parents were just as lovely as him and you had a great time. As the night passed the two of you layed out on the grass of his backyard and stared up at the stars.
“I’ve had fun with you these past few weeks y/n” Jungwon suddenly says. You look at him a little surprised. You eventually break out into a smile and say, “I’ve had fun with you too jungwon.” Jungwon suddenly pushes himself up and grabs your hands to pull you with him. He keeps holding onto your hands as he says “Y/n, i’m sorry being a jerk in the past. My life wasn’t great back then, and I was really alone. You coming up to me and asking to be my friend it…” You squeezed his hand “You don’t have to keep going jungwon-ah” He smiled at you his eyes a little sad. “let me finish my apology will you.” You laughed and nodded.
“It made me feel seen y/n. You were the first person to see me as me for the longest time and I was nothing but a complete jerk to you. For that, I’m sorry.” You smiled and caressed his cheek. He leaned into your touch listening as you said “I hated you for a while to be honest. I never really let go of the rejection you gave..” at this his smiled faltered but you kept yours to let him know it was okay. “But after spending time with you i’ve realized the person you were isn’t the person you are now.” Jungwon leans in to hug you and you replicate the action placing your arms around him. You pull away after a few short seconds and he pouts a little wanting more.
“Jungwon, do you remember that note I wrote to you that said ‘last night at 11:11 I wished for you’?” He nods but then sits up a little taken aback. “You know I kept them?” You smiled to yourself before responding “I may or may not somehow have found out.” He squinted his eyes playfully and poked at your cheek. “yes I remember. why?” You held up your phone and turned it on, displaying a glowing 11:11 on your screen. Jungwon smiled. “Quick! 11:11 make a wish!” you said, eyes practically glowing. Jungwon looked you in the eye before saying “my wish is you.” You froze and could practically feel how red you were becoming.
It was silent for a moment before Jungwon pulled you in close by the waist, pausing for a moment to look at you and ask, “is it okay if i kiss you?” you smiled and shyly nodded. Jungwon pulled you in and your lips connected in a sweet kiss. Nothing. Nothing could beat this. And from that day forward you decided, you will love Yang Jungwon.
#enha fluff#enhypen#enhypen x female reader#yang jungwon#imagine#kpopidol#heeseung#jake sim#jay park#park sunghoon#kim sunoo#ni ki enhypen#fanfic#cute
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what qpr ships do u ship that most see as allo & why do you ship em in a qpr/pr way? like what makes them interesting for you?
basically.....every ship to be honest?
tho it is especially bad if you are particularly fond of female characters specifically (✨ misogyny✨)
there are three main reasons why I tend to prefer qprs:
1. I hc a ton of characters as aromantic and while it is theoretically possible to be an aro in a romantic relationship (if you're a happily dating aro-spec more power to you) I personally could never. and thus my version of the characters that live in my soul and love gnawing on my remaining braincells wouldn't, either.
2. fandom and spite. I'm just so tired of all the stupid "there is no platonic explanation" (yes there is, it is called loving your friends) or "a platonic friend wouldn't do that" (yes they would, it is called loving your friends) or (picture of two people hanging out) OH MY GOD CHECK OUT THEIR ROMANTIC DATE FULL OF ROMANCE (<- cannot stress enough how these are just two ppl enjoying each other's company. do allos just hate their friends)
the most annoying part of that is the way it devaluates every friendship that isn't somehow (forcibly sometimes) linked to romance (they only sacrifice themselves for each other because of their *romantic* feelings specifically, everything they do with and/or for each other is basically just buildup for their REAL important relationship - as if, if they never started dating, it would all be "a waste" or "for nothing")
3. we've all seen it. two perfectly fine complex layered interesting characters become a couple and along with their new relationship status they also receive a new personality trait: being a couple. unfortunately for them, that is now also their only personality trait.
but I think that with qprs that is much more difficult to do? when you speak of romance everyone has a pretty clear picture in mind for what that means; qprs however are by definition undefinable. meaning that in order to make a qpr work you are more or less forced to have a little character study (even post relationship): how do they perceive the qpr? how is it different from other friendships and/or past romances? or even: how do they deal with being in a relationship outside of the widely accepted romance/platonic binary? (and that's just off the top of my head)
(though I think that another big thing for me is that for the longest time I thought that "being in love" and "having a crush" were synonyms. my nine yo brain thought that after confessing (regardless of the outcome) these feelings just started fading after a while since theyd outgrown their usefulness. so even if the feelings were reciprocated you just stayed together out of convenience after a while - until you "fell in love" with another person. I know by now that that's ideally not the case but I think that I've thought of it that way for long enough for it to be baked into my worldview lmao)
ft rant below the cut
its probably bc I'm thinking bout her a lot but it's pretty bad with Lucy Heartfilia. I feel like the devaluation and dismissal of Natsu's and Lucy's friendship is so bad (especially considering they are at the core of the show) ,,,,,, I honestly believe that if they were to start dating it would actually take away from their dynamiC AND! UNDERMINE!! THE!!! ENTIRE!!!! MESSAGE!!!!! OF!!! THE!!!! SHOWWWWW (THIS IS LITERALLY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP MANGA GUYS THEY ARE ALREADY SOULMATES STOP ACTING LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP IS JUST A STEPPING STONE IM GONNA START BITING FOR REAL)
anyways. thanks for coming to my ted talk<3
#i tried to put the most important bits in bold so you dont have to read all of it lmao#just rediscovered the readmore its great the point is above personal experiences below#unfortunately for everyone i have chronic cant shut the fuck up disease :/#also THANK YOU FOR SENDING THE ASK!!#(since i normally think in concepts and vibes this actually allowed me to think about it and actually put it into words for the first time)#AND ALSO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG
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My daily neurodivergent journal/diary
Hi lovely people of Tumblr! I'm J and I am an autistic ADHD'er. I have been diagnosed with AD(h)D since December 2023 and have been diagnosed with autism for about a month. Recently I have been keeping a diary/journal because I noticed I had a lot of recurring negative thoughts and I also wanted to keep track of my emotions for my therapy sessions (bc I always forget what I felt during the week I don't see my therapist). I have personally found that reading others experiences helped me a lot because; 1. I found a lot of recognition. 2. I could compare how symptoms presented in others with ADHD/Autism. 3. I have a new hyperfyxation and want to know everything there is to know about neurodivergence lol. I also like to write in my diary as if im writing a book or to an audience so there's that. So if any of these (or something else ofc) applies to you; welcome to my blog!
But before I start I thought I would share my story for anyone that's interested.
For as long as I could possibly remember (doesn't say a lot) I have felt extremely different from everyone else around me. I would overthink things, even as a little girl. I remember as a little girl people would always tell me "J it doesn't matter, stop overthinking and do it". Funny thing that is, because when I graduated flight attendant school two years ago they gave me a note along with my 100% exam score that said: "Stop thinking, just do". As you can tell, this has followed me my entire life. My head has been full of thoughts and music and movie sentences & so so much more. When I learned that this wasn't normal, things were already falling into place for me a bit. I don't belong here, in this society, surrounded by these people. But hey I was a kid! what do I know?
Having these thoughts I went through my teenage years, trough high school and college (imagine dramatic DUNDUNDUN sounds right here). I always felt like I was in a social hell. Honestly, the learning didn't even bother me (don't get me started on homework tho). It was just the social interactions of walking to class, having lunch, passing people in hallways, working in groups (I think you get it now). I had very bad anxiety but wouldn't let anyone know, especially growing up in a household that hates therapists (bc they blamed them lol). Let me sum up my time in highschool and college real quick; problems concentrating,procastinating,close group of friends, always late, almost expelled bc of my low attendance, low/average grades on normal tests but absolutely excelled on exams, could have a high degree but couldn't be arsed so went for average. How do I have 2 diplomas you ask? no clue except for I was kinda sorta smart except for the fact im not smart but just hyper fixated the night before every exam :)
Soo after all of that I became a flight attendant at 19 yrs old, and absolutely hated every second of it. Oh, don't even get me started on the extreme sensory overload. I did have a lot of bad experiences with colleagues so maybe im a little spooked by that, but overall 1/10 experience. The initial training summed up: almost got kicked out bc I was late 2 times (which was the limit), trouble making friends bc I thought no one liked me, extreme insecurities because of multiple exams, I arrived sweaty and anxious every morning, almost got kicked out because I was tired a lot and almost fell asleep, I couldn't concentrate on the 10/12h lectures, I couldn't concentrate because my heels were killing my feet, the clothing & so much makeup annoyed me. Honestly I could go on but I think this sums up my time because the training only lasted 2 weeks ;)
I flew for 9 months and most of the things above were the same during that time. I arrived sweaty every morning because I had so much stress. Before every flight they ask you safety questions & I had to learn every morning all over again because I kept forgetting everything & all the tiny details. Also the social aspect was so horrifying for me, every flight there was an entire new crew so there was excruciatingly much small talk (which Im not very good at). I think I called in sick 12 times because of sleep trouble, I felt sick, I felt stressed out, I just couldn't handle it. Everyone around me was so proud of me, until the end of my summer contract and I didn't go back. I don't think ive ever felt as much disappointment towards me as when I told my family I didn't like being a FA and basically wasted four years of my life going to flight attendant school (college).
After all that bull# I became a receptionist, I welcomed important business partners at the head office of T-Mobile. I did a lot of administrative tasks and social stuff (I did it to myself atp). And guys you'll never guess what!? I absolutely hated my time there. I did have a great colleague but for some reason I always felt she wasn't being genuine with me. She loved shopping and so did I (a lil too much) and together we would shop online, and this is where my neuro journey starts.
I started shopping so much until I had no money left, but I still needed to shop. I had such an extreme urge to shop anything I would know give me a good feeling. I started buying stuff with apps like Klarna and Afterpay to the point it was impossible for me to pay on the deadlines. I will sum it up bc im not ready to share the entire story yet, but best believe I was in a loooot of trouble and this was also when the worst year of my life would start. I went to a clinic for addiction ad had weekly talks with a therapist. We found out very quickly that something else was going on, something that caused my shopping addiction. So the psychiatrist there got involved, initially they thought of ASD but me and my stupid prejudices wouldn't have it. A week after that conversation with the psychiatrist he tested me for ADHD and dingdingding! There it was, and almost a perfect score might I add. Finally I had a reason for being so.. me. I started doing research and reading books which helped me feel a lot of recognition. Still, something didn't entirely feel right. They couldn't start medications because I was there for addiction initially so I had to wait until I could go to a psychiatrist (waitlists here in Europe are a nightmare).
In January this year I stopped going to the clinic and got prescriptions for my medications from my gp/doctor. I tried 2 types of meds but still, there was this part of me that said "what now?, nothing has changed yet.. is it ever going to?" something still felt missing. In March I had my first appointment with my new and current therapist. I was so extremely nervous because I honestly didn't even know what exactly I needed help with. I just felt lost and wanted to fix my life again. I started telling my entire story to this new therapist and immediately I felt he understood me. I told him about my former therapist and psychiatrist's initial thoughts of ASD and he said we could see if there was any reason for looking into ASD if I felt comfortable with that. I told him I was, even though it freaked me out but I wanted/needed to know. So he gave me two forms to fill out which were general questions to figure out if there was even any reason to think about ASD. I emailed him the forms so he would have an answer by the time we would meet again. Sure enough, when we met a week later he told me there was indeed reason to start a ASD diagnosis interview because I scored in all aspects. So we did do a interview and a week or so after that I was officially diagnosed with Autism. During the entire week after the interview I couldn't get out of the house. I was afraid to tell my parents but I did anyway, and my mom's reaction was "surely you don't have it, I know so many autistic people and you are not like them". Well mom, how wrong you were. This entire month has been such a rollercoaster of emotions. I am now an autistic woman with ADHD, yay?. It makes lots of sense now, but in the beginning I kept picturing this 8 year old autistic boy that was in my class, who kept trying to fight me because I thought I was Travis Barker drumming on my table. The boy who wore big bright red headphones and would sit in a corner, facing the wall and rocking so fast it gave me the creeps. The boy who would fight and scream and no one liked. That wasn't me, it couldn't be, it can't be. After doing my research I found out this indeed was't me, but autism presents different in everyone. Especially after reading Ellie Middleton's (love her so much) unmasked I finally understood myself. I'm not yet at that phase of acceptance because yes I have autism and that's why people think im weird sometimes, im just wired differently. It just still doesn't take away the fact im still weird and an outcast. I don't relate to a lot of other autistic people, I don't relate to most neurotypicals, so what do I do now?
I guess that's why I started this blog. I want to find out and when I finally get to that point of acceptance, or at least contempt, I can look back at how I got where I am at that point.
If anyone has any tips or anything feel free to message me or comment under my posts. This is a judgement free zone but if I said something wrong please feel free to correct me and educate me if needed :) Also if anyone ever wants to talk, im here! I may not be good at social stuff but if you made it to here, you'll know why.
Love & hugs,
J
#adhd#autism#neurodivergent#neurodiverse stuff#neurodiversity#diary entry#diary#audhd#audhd things#neurodivergency#neurodivergence#advice#autism awareness#asd#masking#actually autistic#actually adhd#adhd things#neuro brain#neuro blog#blog#audhd blog
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heyyyyy, gintama for the fandom asks?
iris did you know that i love you
The first character I first fell in love with: Gintoki. i've loved him even before i watched gintama (that blorbo in law situation) it was of course partly sharing a friend's enthusiasm but also his design. now that i know his whole character it just makes me fall even more... and these are why:
his dead fish eye. his lack of energy. his sweet tooth. the one arm sticking out of his yukata bcs he thinks it's cool (he insists its just so he could grab his wooden sword faster). the way he rarely refuses to help people even if he acts annoyed about it.
he's kind of like reigen in many ways (28 year old freelancer - albeit questionable job - and bad older brother figures for some middle schoolers)
he's a gag character but sometimes he also acts as a straight man. i think he believes himself to be the sanest person when compared to his childhood friends (which. honestly doesn't say much). also im weak for characters voiced by mr Sugita
oh yeah have i mentioned his design. of course his main outfit is really cool but i love the ones we sometimes see him in. like his winter clothes, the ryokan uniform, shiroyasha, white blood king, that one time he switched job to a truck driver, his host suit, enmi... so many. he also crossdressed several times and slayed the look. despite wanting to have him in my bed someday im actually not that crazy over shirtless gintoki (except for his pink strawberry boxer shorts). the rule is the more layers of fabric he puts on, the more in love i am
and of course his *checks notes* wonderful personality
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: tbh Takasugi.. he's Gintoki's childhood friend but after what happened 10 years ago their relationship seems mostly hateful on the outside, but they actually treasure the other very much as a friend. when he first appeared he was introduced as an antagonist, probably the main one for the whole series, and it was kinda meh because at that point i was watching gintama for the comedy. but after watching the flashback of their time together it hurts just thinking about them. I've rewatched this one scene of them from the Gintama final movie and i cried every single time. if you're okay w major spoilers the clip should be in my "#jiwa perak" tag under a read more
The character everyone else loves that I don’t: see this is hard cos im not really deep in the fandom buuuut if i have to choose its shinpachi... its not that i dont like him, I just care for him the least...... he's good when paired with other characters (with gintoki & kagura or with his sister) but when he's by himself he's not that interesting. and i get it he's supposed to not be interesting. it's a whole joke that shinpachi is the most boring character. idk sorry shinpachi i hope they give you some new trait in the ginpachi spin-off
The character I love that everyone else hates: sorry idk who is the hated character in the fandom 😭
The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Kintoki, maybe? he was a robot created per Shinpachi & Kagura's request because their current boss (Gintoki), who was nowhere to be found (probably drinking), is very irresponsible. so Kintoki is the polar opposite of Gintoki, created to be perfect in the ways gintoki couldn't. i used to really love him because of his charisma (took a bunch of screenshots & collected fanart of him) but after his arc ended i kinda forgot about him lmao. im chill about him now
The character I would totally smooch: gintoki. in case that wasn't clear
The character I’d want to be like: i want that katsura non-binary look and then my life would be complete. i dont want his brain tho
The character I’d slap: sakamoto. i love him but he's so annoying <3 i wld kill him irl
A pairing that I love: hijikata/gintoki!! i think they have a nice dynamic. unlike gintoki, hijikata is a very strict person. everytime they meet they always fight, but they understand each other and do well when fighting together. both of them insists they're not friends but when gintoki left town hijikata said "I'm gonna look for him." how do you expect me to not go insane.
ginsachi is also up there, and tbh if gintoki said he'd marry me after our first meeting I'd react like sacchan did. sacchan is a creep but i support girls wrong etc. it's a shame they dont really have many episodes together after that except when it's another harem episode :/
A pairing that I despise: GINTOKI/KYUUBEI. im glad there isnt actually many fancontent of them but my god do i despise it. i hate that kyuubei has sooo much potential as a non-binary character but became a part of gintoki's harem. like. i cannot see in kyuubei the same character that appeared in their debut arc. i know them starting to embrace their feminine side is an important trait but at this point it feels like they're turned into a girl just because. i know it sounds like im just talking about kyuubei im just really pissed lmao. it also doesnt make any sense to me how they would even have feelings for gintoki :(
#i. might have said too many things#literally tysm bestie i dont recommend you to watch this show but its good. never even consider watching it#krispeaks#asks#loverboybrightsideghost#ask game#jiwa perak
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2k12 tmnt for the fandom asks
(sorry i haven't answered yours yet, been having an off day but i'll get to it soon 🙏)
(lol no worries take your time friend!)
SEND ME A FANDOM
I’ll tell you:
The first character I first fell in love with:
I feel the answer is well know XD I love Raph! I mean makes sense he was my favorite in 03 but I turly loved what 2012 did with him as well. He such a cocky shit at the start of the show and its not that he stops that trait but you do see how he develops for the better as the shown went on. Him feeling he was better and should be leader to how he more takes to his role in his team. You see him go from someone who cracks under pressure when given leadership to making sure he's always prepared, how he makes sure none of them esp Leo are left behind how he lets his softer side come out more when Chompy comes in. HE's also a little smart ass and people need to let him cuss he's had it u-u
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
Shinigami, I sort of dropped off watch 2012 during season 4 so I didn't see her much outside a few epsiode I caught here and there. I havent quite gotten to when she is in the show now either outside clips and such I have seen. But I expected me to feel as I do Renet shes fine but there. Honestly though? I love her. I like how she isn't the usual gloom and doom but even laughs at Mikey's jokes i dunno I just enjoy her.
The character everyone else loves that I don’t:
Renet, I wouldn't say I hate her. Much how I just wasn't much for the 03 version I would say gose the same in 12. I like her just fine shes a fun charater for the episodes she comes in for and such mostly love the season 5 monter arch. I personlly love her most for the fact she shares a VA with Terra from Teen Titans so it was like getting Beast Boy and Terra back. She just there she's fine I dont find her annoying but Im not hyped about her personally myself.
The character I love that everyone else hates:
I wouldn't say he is hated but I do see Casey tends to not get much love or people will makes statments about him I just don't agree with like saying he is selfish and uncaring. When you do see that isn't ture. You learn that he and raph talk about stuff like what happened to spike. You see hes the one April talks when at the time who she thought was her mom wanted to leave and she had to pick to stay or go with her. Casey dose care about the turtles he often right there when they need help, he covers them in their battles and like the nightmare episode from the farm house arch he was ready to beat an old man for possibly being the reason they were going to die. I genuinely just love Casey my re watch has made me love him even more I just can't get over his stupid laugh sometimes XD
The character I used to love but don’t any longer:
Slash, NOT that I hate him either I thought he was villain longer though? but he had such a sudden turn around and it felt like such a waste to me. I felt like he could have been good as Raph arch enemy over Xever. Could been used to add to Raph and Casey friendship/partnership. I still like Slash I just wish he had been a villain a bit longer just for all untap story he had to offer.
The character I would totally smooch:
Give all the turtles smooches on their heads they been through it in this shown u-u
The character I’d want to be like:
hmmm mr murakami? I dunno dude seems to be enjoying live got hos own businesses willing to make stuff for the turtles he seems chill despite getting dragged into stuff from just knowing the turtles.
The character I’d slap:
-Raph I love my boy but he needs to be slapped u-u
-Leo also needs a slap sometimes
-Casey he exsits hit em
-Donnie i love him to but smack this boy
A pairing that I love:
Rasey uwu I love these two no matter the series I gotta ship these idiots im a sucker for the best friends to lovers trope
A pairing that I despise:
hmm I don't think I have any sure theres some I dont ship or personally like much but eh cant say I have a ship I like hate you know? Besides I rather spend time enjoy what I love anyway.
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I posted 10,538 times in 2022
489 posts created (5%)
10,049 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lotsofloveish
@i-will-sing-no-requiem
@lostintheskyfaraway
@ts1989fanatic
@alteanroyals
I tagged 7,632 of my posts in 2022
Only 28% of my posts had no tags
#taylor swift - 2,093 posts
#ouat - 1,144 posts
#fanart goals - 678 posts
#personal - 501 posts
#textpost - 386 posts
#precious creatures - 385 posts
#otp: the pirate and the princess - 372 posts
#captain swan - 370 posts
#the poptart cat speaks - 351 posts
#miraculous ladybug - 317 posts
Longest Tag: 97 characters
#say 👏🏼 it 👏🏼 louder 👏🏼 for 👏🏼 the 👏🏼 people 👏🏼 in 👏🏼 the 👏🏼 back 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Me descending into the rabbit hole that is a ship of a fandom I’m not even in: “this is fine :)”
33 notes - Posted February 14, 2022
#4
So I noticed something, antis of these characters be like-
A lot of people who hate Amy Rose and Marinette have listed the same reasons why theyre a horrible character (i.e “shes annoying”, “her only personality trait is being obsessed over a guy”)
But y’all miss the reasons why they’re great characters actually
-they’re kind and sweet-natured and love their friends dearly
-they’re great leaders (look at Amy in the Archie comics, Ladybug with the other heroes)
-they have been the reasons as to why so many characters change their point of view (Amy with Shadow, E-Alpha 100 in Sonic Adventure 2, and Silver in 06’, Marinette befriending Kagami, Fei and several others)
-can hold their own, they don’t really need a man to save them but fell in love with Sonic/Adrien for their kindness (Amy being saved from Metal Sonic on Little Planet, Adrien giving Marinette the umbrella)
It’s not that they’re horrible characters, the writers need to write them better
34 notes - Posted June 4, 2022
#3
The serotonin I get every time I hear the lyrics “I can still make the whole place
SHIMMER”
48 notes - Posted October 22, 2022
#2
“Nothing can save us forever, but a lot of things can save us today”
-Mae Borowski
IM TELLING YOU THE DIALOGUE IN THIS GAME IS 🔥🔥🔥
96 notes - Posted September 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I finally got to this part in NITW and this speech that Mae gives-
“When I die, I want it to hurt, when my friends leave, when I have to let go, when this entire town is wiped off the map, I want it to hurt. Bad” I want to loose, I want to get beaten up, I want to hold on, until I’m thrown off and everything ends and you know what? Until that happens, I want to hope again and I want it to hurt. Because that means it meant something. It means I am.. Something at least. Petty amazing to be something, at least.”
ALWAYS makes me tear up, even though this game doesn’t have much action, it’s dialogue REALLY packs a punch
118 notes - Posted May 29, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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for the ask meme: zexal for 001, yusaku/ai and lightning/windy for 002 pls? also ur so right that windy has always been a lil gremlin lol
eyyyooo glad we agree! putting it under a read more again
Zexal
Favorite character: Shark
Least Favorite character: I wasn't a fan of those one-off lower-level Barians who followed Heartland? They did give us the cool duels where Yuma, Shark and Kaito teamed up with their respective Arclights, but other than that, they were meh to me. Also, Eliphas.
5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Shark/Yuma/Vector, Kaito/Mizael, Yuma/Astral, Yuma/Alit/Gilag, Yuma/Durbe/Shark
Character I find most attractive: IV
Character I would marry: .....it would be a disaster, but IV, tbh.
Character I would be best friends with: III
a random thought: the Numbers Club is neat, actually, and Tokunosuke made me cry during the final arc
An unpopular opinion: i am ignoring the Barians becoming human in the end. is that unpopular? if it's popular, then put my opinion about the Numbers Club here. a lot of people hate the Numbers Club but I love them. My Children.
My Canon OTP: uhhhh... Yuma/Astral is more explicitly canon in the manga, so I'm going with that
My Non-canon OTP: Shark/Yuma(/Vector)
Most Badass Character: Yuma. I'm SORRY he is so GOOD it's just so. Badass. Love to see it.
Most Epic Villain: .......Vector
Pairing I am not a fan of: not a big fan of IV/Rio or IV/Shark personally. Dunno why! I definitely see the appeal of both, but it just didn't make my brain go brrrrrr as much as other ships did.
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): RIO, RIO, RIO, RIO, RIO, RIO. Also, Durbe being the only Barian who never duelled Yuma is a travesty. But Rio. Definitely Rio.
Favourite Friendship: honestly Yuma-Rio is so fucking underrated
Character I most identify with: Hmmmmm, I don't know. In some sense, III.
Character I wish I could be: Gosh, I wish I could have Yuma's kattobing
Yusaku/Ai
When I started shipping them: I lowkey started to ship them from the beginning but it turned into full-blown shipping during the second Revolver duel (their first Master Duel), when Revolver locked Cyberse away, but Yusaku could still sense Ai, and could talk with him, even if Ai was very, VERY out of it at that point. I fucking love that scene.
My thoughts: I AM ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED ABOUT THEM. I AM FERAL, OKAY? They love each other so much. That scene when Ai is like "lol you actually could have done this any time I just kept it a secret" and Yusaku smiles like "that's more like you"? I CRY. IM BITING MY KNUCKLES. Yusaku saying he'd rather if Ai would hide, and they'd never meet again, as long as Ai is safe? And Yusaku being Ai's anchor to keep him from going off the rails, and Ai knowing it? Ai only becoming humanity's enemy if Yusaku dies? LET ME DIE INSTEAD.
What makes me happy about them: they love each other so, so much. Also that tiny thing that Ai does sometimes when he copies Yusaku's gestures? IT'S THE CUTEST FUCKING THING AND I NEVER GET ENOUGH OF IT (sidenote: Flame also does it with Takeru, and if I recall correctly, so does Aqua with Aoi. Both times I adore it and can never get enough of it)
What makes me sad about them: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THAT FUCKING ENDING. YUSAKU ACCEPTING AI KILLING HIM, AND REALIZING AI OPENS THE DOOR FOR HIM TO WIN, AND THEN HIM HOLDING AI IN HIS ARMS. THAT I LOVED YOU. YUSAKU'S SCREAM. I HATE IT HERE.
Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Yusaku fell in love with Ai way before Ai got the android body. This is a hill I am willing to die on. Oh and also - if it's a fix-it fic, but only Ai comes back, I am not interested. S3 is very explicit that Ai alone is not a good option - the rest of the Ignis also need to be back.
Things I look for in fanfic: Typically I don't look for android!Ai fics, for the above reason, I prefer if Ai is still a gremlin, with a monster form.
My wishlist: I WANT THEM TO BE FFFFUCKING HAPPY
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: no one. Absolutely no one. These two have to be together. I'm more than happy with slapping more characters on to be poly, but these two I always want to be together.
My happily ever after for them: ALIVE AND WELL WITH ALL THE OTHER IGNIS ALSO BEING BACK
Lightning/Windy
When I started shipping them: Evil power couple sexy
My thoughts: Yeah, not much else. Evil power couple sexy. Post-canon trying to sort it all out, either canon-compliantly dealing with what Lightning had done to Windy, or an AU where Windy joined from his own free will... either is fine by me
What makes me happy about them: I think they are just. Really, really cool, and their dynamic is great
What makes me sad about them: HAHAHAHAH THEY FUCKIN DEAD, JIM
Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I really rarely seek out fics that feature Lightning because I'm very picky about how Lightning is being presented.
Things I look for in fanfic: Again, I am picky.
My wishlist: They deserve a second chance at life, at coexistence. I want them to be happy.
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Jin for Lightning, and Ryoken for Windy
My happily ever after for them: HAPPY AND ALIVE TOGETHER WITH THE IGNIS
I am very repetitive with my vrains wishlist, but the vrains ending mentally destroyed me and I still haven't recovered
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Furuba and/or FMA for the ask game? 💙
Hi friend 🥰
note, which you probably will already guess at: any anime specific question will be about Brotherhood, not the original fma
fandom asks~
The first character i fell in love with
Fruits Basket: Kyo
FMA: probably Ed
(see a theme here?)
Character i used to like/love, but now do not
Fruits Basket: uh ? 🤷♀️
FMA: i love everyone idk what to tell ya
A ship i used to love/like, but now do not
Fruits Basket: can't think of any
FMA: also can't think of any xD
My ultimate favorite character™
Fruits Basket: KYO KYO KYO KYO KYO
FMA: too hard. Too many good characters. I cannot.
Prettiest character
Fruits Basket: Tohru
FMA: general Armstrong
Most hated character
Fruits Basket: Akito.
FMA: ???? Again i love them all. Even the assholes are just such good characters
Oh actually on further thought. Yomi maybe but even he gets good at the end
OTP
Fruits Basket: KYORU
FMA: hard to choose between edwin and royai
NOTP
Fruits Basket: Yuki/Tohru
FMA: royed
Favorite Episode idk why this question is always so hard for me vosbgknsgla uh
Fruits Basket: ima go with chap instead and stray from the norm and not do a kyoru thing and say when, as a two parter that are related: when Takeru and Yuki make a mess and talk about "when the buttons are done up wrong" and when Yuki leanrs about Machi's issues with perfection and helps her ourposefully fuck things up
FMA: honestly might be when Al uses the philosophers stone and fucks shit up
Saddest death
Fruits Basket: Kyoko
FMA: Hughes;_; it still gets me every damn time
Favorite season
Fruits Basket: mmm. im happy for the reboot and all but. Mm.
FMA: maybe predictably, the last one
Least favorite season
Fruits Basket: the last season cuz i feel like they lost the point and did not do the manga justice, personally
FMA: it's not a whole season but the part with Tucker
Character that everyone else in fandom loves but i hate
Fruits Basket: uh the annoying and obssesed senpais?
FMA: love. them. all.
My ‘your a piece of trash but you’re still my fave’ fave
Fruits Basket: Shigure, which most everyone will agree on I'm sure
FMA: Ling 😂 jk he's not actual garbage. Envy
My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave
Fruits Basket: LITERALLY ALL OF THEM??? these characters are soso traumatized ohmygod (Kyo)(Tohru)(but also again all of them)
FMA: Al (most of them but…Al)
My ‘this ship is nasty and makes me want to cleanse my soul but i still love it’ ship
Fruits Basket: i ain't about to start shit on the dash so 🤐
FMA: N/A
My ‘they’re kind of cute and i lowkey ship them but i’m not too invested’ ship
Fruits Basket: 🤷♀️
FMA: N/A
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Hey if you’re sick you can always wait to respond!! There’s no rush honey I’m not going anywhere❤️respond when you feel better. Your health and wellbeing comes first and I want you to be taking care of yourself. I wish I could be there to help you take care of yourself, you deserve that:(( I really hope you feel better soon you sound really sick:( you poor thing you need to be taken care of ugh the things I would do to get to be there:’((( I wish you weren’t alone too it makes me so sad you there I wanna be there with you. I know I’m not there physically but if there’s anything you need or want just say the word❤️ I also haven’t been sleeping either I swear we always sync up with this shit. A favorite way of cuddling hehe oooooo being spooned on my side with the other person having their arms around me:] I also really like to lay my head on the other person’s chest
Not you also loving art history oh god it’s over for me AKAKWJWJSJDJDJDJ if I wasn’t down bad before I’m really in it now. I’ve always loved art but I fell in love with art history when I took a class on it. HEH IM REALLY GLAD YOU LOVE MUSEUMS TOO OMG YOURE GOING TO THE VAN GOGH ONE PLS PLS PLS POST PICS OH MY GOD. I went to an immersive Van Gogh exhibit in 2022 and…fuck it was one of the most beautiful installations I’ve ever seen. The way they brought his art to life it was so beautiful I wish I could live in there god I would’ve loved to go to that with you. I LOVE KEITH HARING OOOOOOOOO THATS SO AWESOME WHAT!!!!! Tell me all about them (when you go ofc)!!!!!! I LOVE THAT YOUR CLASSROOM HAD THE PRINT I knew you would like it AHHHHHHH YES<33333 it’s very you coded. Do you have a favorite painting or work of art???? AH ROTHKO! I’ve seen some of his in person before:) Dali used to be an og fave as a teenager I really liked surrealism Haha and I was at this museum and they had my fave of his and I had NO FUCKING CLUE so I saw it and I was so shocked and in awe and I wish I could’ve stared at it all day but I didn’t wanna annoy who I was there with. There I actually got to see a lot of really cool shit I wish I could go back. Got to see some magritte and Picasso and Matisse and Gauguin and Monet and Klimt and O’Keefe and Cezanne even a Van Gogh:’))) Dadaism was never my favorite personally but I still think it’s cool and generally appreciate all styles of art:) huge proponent of that actually. I’ll defend abstract art until I die it gets so much hate. I’m not sure if I actually have an ultimate favorite style maybe Impressionism? Love it a lot a lot SHOCKED YOU HAVENT HEARD OF THAT MUSEUM THE WAY YOU’RE THERE AND HAVENT AKQKQJWJEJ PLEASE thats even funnier I’m shocked I found it
I’m one of those people with sticker anxiety D: I always want to make sure they’re in a worthy spot and nothing is ever deemed worthy for them:( THE SHIRTS SOUND SO COOL!!!!!! Well you like ribs so you should definitely do something with that;) definitely a spine related thing too. I’m also a sucker for anatomical hearts I love them a lot<333 make one of those and think about me whenever you wear it hehe I actually got a necklace from the festival (from a different vendor) that was an anatomical heart and it has a few red beads that come down which remind me of blood heh
Awwweeeee imagining you trying all hard to stay calm that’s precious<3333333 I would have such a fun time driving you insane over me hehe OOOO you’d treat me well after huh? ALAKSJDJDHDHDH stop I’d fold so fast even just reading that I’m like !!!!!!!!!!! Like yup okay I’m willing to do anything. I’m glad you’d also do a lot for me too;)
You're the sweetest, cutie. I wish you were here to take care of me too <3 I'm still sick, albeit a little less, but I went to Emo Night yesterday with my friends. I got stupidly drunk and sprained my ankle in the mosh pit, so now I'm confined to my bed with my leg on a pile of plushies with an ice pack tied to it -_- I'm not looking forward to having to go to class with this... I hope you'll be able to sleep better soon, you deserve to be well-rested <3 Ohh those are both such cute positions, I always sleep hugging a plushie but I bet you're much better to hold than my IKEA dog <3
I took art in secondary school so art history (including architecture) was mandatory and I loved it, it really changes how you consume media and look at art, and I definitely feel it made me a better artist :] Yesss I'll post photos of the museums I'm going to! Maybe I'll remember to take my camcorder and I'll take some 2005-vibing pictures hehe. Oh man that sounds so cool, getting to see your favourite painting without even knowing you were going to! I think it would be so fun to go to a museum with you, walk around and point out what we see in the paintings <3 I don't know if I have a favourite, there's so many movements that I love; Jugendstil, Impressionism, (Abstract) Expressionism, Cubism, 'De Stijl'(=Neoplasticism), I don't think there's any art I actively hate. I love abstract works that make people angry, I love detailed oil paintings that take years to make, I love old Greek and Roman art and modern interpretations of them, I love Theo Jansen's 'strandbeesten', I just love art haha. Nothing makes me happier than being able to walk around a city and accurately determine when the houses were put up simply by the style of architecture they're in hehe.
Ohhh I feel that with stickers haha, everything feels so permanent! Fun fact, I actually have a zip-up that I bleached a spine onto the back of! I couldn't find any photos so I'll take some in a couple of days when moving around is easier hehe. I did however find pictures of the time I dissected a heart in biology class, do you want to see those? I think it was a sheep's heart. I definitely want to do an anatomical heart, I am so gonna do that sometime when I have time (and I'll make sure to think of you every time I wear it cutie <3). That necklace sounds soooo pretty!
Oh baby it'd be so hard for me to stay calm, you'd be pushing me to my limits <3 It's so cute how you're willing to do so much for me <3 Lucky for you that I have your best interest in mind, hm ;) I'd love to ask you to do something insane for me and watch you struggle internally, wanting to say yes to me but your instincts needing to protect you, it'd be so cute torturing you just a little bit <3 Hehe yeah you've got me wrapped around your finger, cutie <3
#im also cooovered in bruises its real bad haha#i hope youre doing good cutie are you excited for halloween? i know i am already haha even tho it doesnt get celebrated here#asks
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03/13/2023
I WANT TO CALL QUITS
i want to call quits, but am I calling to early? or am I already into deep? first time in 3 nights I finally got to stay over. did you miss me? or did I make it too hard to miss me, since I’m always trying to talk to you.
it just that, I’m so used to hearing your voice, smelling you, being around you. you’re my safe spot.
am I yours? Do you see me the same way I see you?
do you still want me like you did when I wasn’t always around?
did I make it easy for you to get annoyed of me? i ask you questions, not to get on your nerves. but for ME.
It just so hard to trust. i trusted the wrong people in my life & I believe that’s why I am hurting more than ever. it just feels like a rerun. but why do I let them get that far? is it because I’m vulnerable, I have a lot of love to give.
if I don’t have an answer that was given from the person I want it from, I’ll fill in the blanks with multiple theories. it’s not that I want to?? God made me an over thinker & I hate it. i need you to tell me “everything is okay” because I feel like it’s not.
i don’t understand how people can go around and act like they care about someone & they don’t.
the night before I stayed over, you went to your uncles for a bbq & you didn’t let me know you “fell asleep” so I lost contact with you after 9pm & didn’t have any contact with you until the next morning at 11am. i know it’s crazy to think that you weren’t asleep but I know you have trouble sleeping.
theories:
1. you went out to your uncles, than you went to hangout with someone.
2. you took that person to your uncles & that person stayed over.
3. you stayed over @ someone house.
4. you went on a date.
5. You were at your friends house chillan with them a girl
i remember our first date, you have this number calling you frequently back to back & you claim it was work.. it was already 7pm -8pm who would be calling from your job that late? but I also didn’t wanna trip bc I usually do, & it pushes them away..
am I tripping right now?? am I pushing you away?? but is it a good thing, since you don’t know how to communicate?
i tell you, just to at least text me or communicate you said you will. Since then I only got one text back from the whole 3 days.
I check if my girly stuff was put away, (tampons liners was the only thing I left bc I didn’t think was gonna come back here) it was in the same spot I left it in.. I was relieved. the room was still messy.. okay you didn’t have to impress and pick up meaning.. you didn’t have anyone over.
but now that I think of it, he’s room was messy when I met him. the same way he looks right now with the pile of clothes next to his bed. im taking a shower & I see girly shampoo & conditioner.. conditioner is 90% of it is done (where did this come from), & the shampoo is brand new.. what’s crazy is, we just went a week ago to get shampoo & conditioner.. it wasn’t the same ones we got. he lives with his family so I cannot jump into conclusions. (or should I)
i lay down in the bed, & you wash your sheets… why? the most suspicious thing you can do when I’m already tripping on the fact you didn’t communicate with me the next before. But what if he just wanted to wash them?? and now that I’m thinking, idk when was the last time we washed them.
okay last but not least one the reason why I feel like you’re not interested or talking to someone else….
we had sex in the middle of the night, everything was different. the stroke, the pressure, the vibe. you didn’t kiss me not once, nor did you moan once..and that’s your strong suit.
this is what is gonna be on my mind all the time…..
it broke me when you got up in the middle of us fucking & was looking for something.. you already had the lube bottle on the dresser what are you reaching for? when I saw your iPhone flash the light on a condom, I wanted to cry
we only used a condom once & it was bc he wanted to use the lube on the condom than he took it off.
theory:
1. he acted like he cummed
2. he didn’t want anything to happen (no baby)
3. he didn’t want to dirty his clean sheets
i want to ask you about it but I know you will get annoyed
but why get annoyed
when I can literally read this out to someone.
they can just look at me and say without hesitation, move on sis & call it quits!!!
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semi-charming • bill denbrough
(bill denbrough x reader smut)
requested: Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :) + AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH + don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝
i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj
also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh !!!!!!!!!
warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au,
(losers + reader are 19+.)
4.1k words
♡
the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional.
it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that.
but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake.
a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise.
it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door.
your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes.
three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.
"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either.
“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music."
you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off."
then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.
"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding.
"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give.
"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in."
your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it.
"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him.
you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?"
you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms.
but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?"
that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person.
but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst.
your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg.
you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.
it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall.
but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!"
his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him.
"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either.
"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts.
he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet.
"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack."
he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf.
he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot.
you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you.
he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip.
it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane.
"y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly.
whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth.
he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away.
you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid.
his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh.
you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from.
when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done."
"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated."
you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly.
he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.
"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are, i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk.
"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out.
"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you.
you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you.
then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own.
"fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving?
he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants.
he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes.
"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down.
he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate.
he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once.
you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure.
"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.
"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?"
you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to."
you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock.
and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back.
“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly.
he looks like fucking heaven.
you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.
“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.
"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan.
his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.
you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums.
your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.
your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out.
he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce.
"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building.
"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours.
your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.
"you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to.
you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already.
he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple.
you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours.
“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close.
"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters.
you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall.
"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous.
"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease.
you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him.
tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @sft-core @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie @decafcoffeew
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hey!! im new to tumblr but i love your writing and i was wondering if you could do a request for me? basically the reader is assigned to share a dorm with someone in your university, but it so happens that your dorm mate is dream, but you both hate eachother. you can try working out how they start to get a long. it could be something like angry sex or some shit but idk, feel free to play around with it!!!
brat • dream smut
a/n : welcome to tumblr, anon !! so glad you like my writing, here you go :)
POV: first person
gn!reader
pronouns: they / them
gn!physiology
warnings: smut/nsfw, enemies to lovers, “sir”, degradation, very very VERY dom/sub, bottom!reader
University. It was most definitely a mixed bag; you shove your hand into it and have no clue what you’re gonna grab out of it. Was I gonna be sitting out on the grass with my new lifelong best friends, or was I gonna end up in miserable and making half-joking comments about how much I hate my life? I guess the answer ended up being neither, but something much more complicated.
I walked into my dorm room for the first time. It was pretty bare, both of the beds completely stripped of sheets, pillows, and blankets. I walked in, taking in the new environment that I was gonna be surrounded by for the next few months until my first break. ‘This looks... depressing,’ I thought, putting down my backpack as well as the suitcases full of all of my things. I began to unpack.
I heard a person come open the door to the room. “Hey, I’m Clay... I think you’re my roommate. You can call me Dream.” I spun around, looking at him. I simply nodded, not knowing what exactly to say.
“Uh, yeah, I’m [y/n].” I turned back to my clothes, letting the silence that was once there envelope the room once again. He tended to his side of the room as I tended to mine.
“You don’t talk much, do you?” I rolled my eyes. ‘Oh god, he’s one of those people.’
“Uh, I mean I just don’t really know you yet.” I pulled my sheets out of one of the suitcases, unfolding them.
“That’s dumb, how are you gonna get to know me if you’re all quiet?” I ignored his question. I know that simply letting him talk will give me all of the information I need to know about him. “See, you don’t even know what to say, I’m right.” ‘Cocky much?’
“I don’t need to talk to you to know you.” I could almost feel his glare into the back of my head.
He scoffed, “No, you don’t need to talk to me to make assumptions. Tell me one thing you know about me.”
I turned around and looked at him. “First, people only show their good side, so I like to make my own observations of their behavior. For example, you’re cocky as fuck.”
He rolled his eyes, turning back to his bed to unpack his things. “Okay, then here’s my ‘observation’, you’re a bitch.”
“Okay, and you’re an asshole.” I retorted, childishly, before putting in my headphones and deciding to ignore him as much as possible. ‘Out of every fucking person I could be paired with... why him?’
-
I walked from the bus stop up the stairs of the dorm building and to my shared room with... him. Dream, as he told me to call him. As much as I hated his attitude and almost everything about his annoying personality, I had to admit that after a month I was coming around in a way. Maybe I didn’t find him completely unbearable, but I definitely still didn’t like him.
I entered the space and set my bag next to my desk. Dream was laying on his bed, looking at his phone. “Hey, I’m having like 3 friends over here tonight, so could you find a place to stay?” I looked at him, my expression dripping with ‘say deadass’.
“Uh, no? You can’t tell me things like this last minute, dude. This is my place, too,” I stated, letting the truth onto him. His attention darted from his phone to me.
“I can’t just cancel!” He exclaimed in defense.
“Yes you can, and you will! Reschedule it for another time.” He was silent, staring at me.
“Fine,” He mumbled after a moment of quiet. I turned to my desk, taking out my homework for the day and setting it down. I walked into our shared bathroom with some comfortable clothes and turned on the shower. Stripping off my clothing, I stepped in as soon as it was hot enough. I sighed in content, the steaming water caressing my body and relaxing my muscles.
After a bit of washing myself and relaxing, I turned off the water and stepped out onto the tile. As I changed into my clothes, I could hear Dream talking through the door, “They’re fucking annoying, man, but they’re hot so whatever, I guess.” My eyes widened as he spoke. ‘...me?’
I can’t say that I never found him hot. He’s tall, broad shoulders, pretty green eyes... who wouldn’t be attracted to him? He’s hot, but he’s a dumbass, and I think that’s the only thing that was stopping me from pursuing him.
I walked out after I finished drying my hair, bringing the blonde boy’s attention to me. “I gotta go, talk to you later,” He rushed out, hanging up in a hurry. I quirked a brow at him in confusion.
“What was that about?” I asked, taking a seat at my desk.
“Had to cancel. Nothin’ else.” I chuckled at his attempt to not share much.
“So who’s this hot but annoying person you were talking about?” I questioned, my eyes changing course to look at his face.
His cheeks flared up, his freckled skin turning pink. “Don’t listen in on my phone conversations, bitch,” He said harshly.
I stood up. “Excuse me? Listen, I already told you to stop talking to me like that-”
“You’re so hot when you look like that,” He interrupted me. Now it was my turn to start blushing.
“L-Like what?” I asked, half mumbling.
“When you get all worked up. That’s why I like bothering you so much.” I was stuck in my spot, unsure of what to say to that. The thought of Dream finding me hot was so insanely flustering for whatever reason, and it never occurred to me until that moment.
He got up, walking over to me. I looked up and into his eyes. “Sometimes, when you make me really mad, I think about slamming you into your mattress,” He said, quietly, making the rasp in his voice stick out. “And just taming you... because you’re just such a brat, sometimes.” My breath got caught in my throat, I felt like I couldn’t even speak. “Sometimes a brat needs to be put in their place, don’t you think?” I nodded. “Use your words.”
“I, uh- yes, sir,” I stuttered out. A smirk pulled at his lips, and his hand made it’s way up to my cheek, cupping my face. He slowly pushed his thumb between my lips, causing me to start sucking it. He pulled it out, my mouth releasing it with a quiet ‘pop’.
“Get on your knees, angel.” I obeyed immediately and got down on my knees. “You wanna undo my belt?”
I nodded, eagerly. “Yes, please?” He nodded, humming an ‘mhm’. I bit my lip as I undid his belt before unbuttoning his jeans. I glanced up at his face before unzipping them as well and pulling them down. I could see the outline of his hard-on through his boxers. I slowly and softly palmed him over the thin material, eliciting a low, quiet moan.
“Take them off, sweetheart.” I nodded and pulled down his underwear, his cock springing up due to the sudden freedom. I licked the palm of my hand before wrapping it around his shaft and slowly moving it up and down. I looked up at his face, seeing his lip between his teeth as I touched him.
“Can I use my mouth, sir?” I asked him, even though I already know the likely answer.
He nodded, “Mhm, use your mouth.” I softly licked the tip of his member before wrapping my lips around it, sucking lightly. I started bobbing my head, taking more of him in my mouth every time I went back down. “Do you think you can deep-throat me, angel?”
I nodded. “C-Can I do that, sir?” He nodded, his hand making it’s way into my hair. I slowly started to take more of him in my mouth, eventually getting to the point of him hitting the back of my throat. I choked a little but pushed through it. I continued to take as much as I could down my throat, Dream softly fucking my face.
“Just like that, baby,” He groaned as I continued to bob my head. He pulled a bit on my hair, sending heat down between my legs. He pulled my head off of his dick by my hair, a string of spit bridging the gap. “Get on the bed, safe word is puppy.” I nodded and jumped up off of the floor and onto my bed.
He yanked my sweatpants down, pulling down my underwear with it. I pulled my shirt over my head and he did the same to himself. “You want my cock, baby? Look at how turned on you are.”
I let out a soft moan as he rubbed me right where I needed it. “I want it so bad, sir, please..” I begged. He bit his lip before pulling a bottle of lube out of his dresser.
“Get on your stomach, I’m gonna fuck your pretty little hole from behind.” Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I followed his directions. I could hear the slippery liquid being drizzled and spread all over his cock, it only made me want him more.
He slowly pushed into me, making a moan uncontrollably escape my lips. “Fuck...” I whispered.
“Yeah, you like feeling all full, don’t you? Such a fuckin’ whore for me,” He teased slowly moving with my permission. He gradually sped up, the two of us letting out moan after moan, the sound of our skin colliding being the only other sound filling the room. “You’re such a goddamn brat,”
“I... I know, sir... please- please don’t stop!” His hand made it’s way into the roots of my hair, pulling it, making it hurt so perfectly.
“Yeah? Don’t stop?” He asked, breathlessly as he started going faster. “I’m not gonna stop, angel.” I bit my lip, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as he pounded into me.
I touched myself as he fucked me, making everything feel double as good. “S...s-sir, I-I’m gonna... D-Dream, please!” I let out incoherent sentences.
“Aw, look, you can barely talk. Come on, sweetheart, cum for me like a good little slut.” The knot in my stomach fell apart as he spoke, a loud moan leaving my body once again. He let me ride out my high before pulling out and stroking himself and releasing all over my back. I bit my lip as I felt the warm liquid hit my skin.
He laid down beside me. “What do we say?” He asked, teasingly.
I giggled. “Thank you, sir.”
#dream team smut#dream#dreamwastaken#dream team#mcyt#dream smut#dream x reader#mcyt smut#mcyt x reader#fanfic#imagines#one shot#request#anon
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