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hcdragonwrites · 8 months

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Spring Grooming

(a @digitalagepulao Fanfic)

I had brain fire from listening to Hoizers music so - HAVE A LITTLE FIC OF COMFORT AND BROTHERLY TENDERNESS !

The pines gave off their fresh and sharp scent as the rain continued to drip from them. Needles couldn’t hold the heavy drops up and instead shook them off when the weight became heavy and made their barren bases wet and cool. Pine needles crunch beneath horse hooves, spicing the air further. The rain cleansed the mountain air only for the pilgrims to churn the forest floor in their wake.

Spring was heavy in its breath upon the earth. The rain would have been snow if the sweet kiss of the turning season hadn’t warmed the earth. Instead her rain triggered a riot of colors and initiated animals and plants both to begin to grow again, to seek life, and to awaken from winters cold rest. Ba Longma felt his coat heavy on his body. As a dragon he had never felt the strange mammal tendency to grow hair king in a winter coat to stop the cold from stealing over his bones.

However his horse like form had other instincts, and one was to grow fluffier and thicker about. In the deep snows and the cold hail, when the sleet had slashed the other pilgrims and made their teeth chatter, he had been thankful for his bodies sudden growth. As eldest disciple, the eldest of the brothers among the merry band, it fell to him to carry his Master and tend him. He had spent less days in his humanoid form, and more as a horse - determined with will to carry his master through the worst of storms. To break paths in the frozen snows. The cold couldn’t touch him. Even as the ice formed in his mane and fetlocks, across his body where the sweat rolled off and in his tail.

Now spring was here. Ba felt his body sweating in the heat of the now warmer world. What had given him an edge, an advantage, was now making him suffer. He longed to scratch it off- to seek a low hanging batch of pinewoods and rub himself against them. He had tried to get out of the heat as a man but when he returned to this horse body, it held stubbornly to its habitual rotation. He was a magical steed but even that didn’t prevent the instincts of the seasons from effect his body. Sweat beaded beneath the saddle and it’s blanket, creating a crust of salt that itched and chaffed him. The girth that swung beneath his belly and held the contraption of leather and wood to his back, rubbed and creaked at each step he made.

Ba Longma had noticed the slight cracks beginning to appear in the leather- stiffened by the salt of his body and cracked by the movement. They would need to replace it or Master would experience an unexpected fall when the leather finally cracked and the cloth gave beneath the weight. He held his tongue, walking slowly onward.

When Tripitaka called for a stop for the day, for the mid meal and a bit of rest for himself, along a felt relieved. The terrible itch of his sweat, of the excess fur, had built from annoying buzz to a incomprehensible urge. His instinct was to rub, to roll, to cake his backside in dry cool dirt and to rub himself free of the fur and sweat. It had taken all his will power not to shake himself and beg his Master for a bit of relief.

As Wujing and Bajie set about starting the fire and cooking the rice and setting to chopping and mixing brown sugar into bowls with fruit to make candied sweets for snacking on, it was Wukong that came up to Tripataka and Longma.

“Shifu.” The stone monkey held out a hand and Trip took it. He dismounted, legs bowed from the long day in the saddle. Longma felt a twinge of worry. Did Shifu suffer from saddle sores? Had he been too rocky in his gait? Did he jostle him too much in the saddle ? These things hummed in the eldest disciples mind as Trip made to start taking the tac from his body. A monkey paw reached up and stopped him. “I will take care of Longma.”

“Are you sure Wukong?” Tripataka asked again. He had his hands on the bridle, fingers over the buckles that kept it in place.

“Of course Master. Go go- make sure that Bajie doesn’t eat too many palm fruits before they can be turned to candies.”

“I heard that!” The pig demon snorted, tusks flashing threateningly. They were not as sinister however at the flash of the cheeky smile of the youngest disciple. Trip hesitated only a second more before he settled onto a long and rubbed at his inner calves, relieving the cramps built there from the long day of riding.

Wukong turned an eye back to Ba Longma and the dragon horse saw a twinkle of something there.

“Now brother- I’ve noticed your switching tail all the way from the pine forest to here,” the little monkey crossed his arms taking on a scolding tone, “and you cannot fool me. You are uncomfortable.”

“I am not..” Longma spoke so few times in this shape. It felt strange to have the words rumble up and out of his throat and between teeth that were flat except the canines he retained from dragon shape.

“You lie poorly.” Wukong undid the chin strap of the bridle, pulling the top of the bridle free of Longmas ears. He let gravity slide the metal bit out of his mouth and Longma champed and licked his mouth back into order. Having the bit in his mouth, the metal contraption that sat over his tongue and across his mouth had at first, been something to get used to. Longma didn’t think it was entirely necessary - until he realized that his master was so light of hand and leg that he hardly asked anything of him in the rider fashion. Riding depended on leg and pressure - and Tripataka was too kind to even press his heels to his eldest disciples sides. Longma had decided then to keep the bridle so he could better sense when Shifu asked him to turn or gave the reins a gentle tap to coax him into faster gaits.

“I do not lie Little Brother.” He spoke softly, always feeling ill at ease when he spoke in this shape. “I just silently endure.”

“BAH!” The Monkey set the bridle carefully on a overturned stump and came back. He went for the girth, that terrible bit of leather that made Longmas under legs itch. “I was the keeper of Heavenly Horses. I learned the body language and silent speech of them. And you may be a dragon in disguise but you speak quite clearly of your discomfort.”

“Swishing tail, ears flicking back at odd intervals- the stamp of a hoof - you are uncomfortable.” The girth came free in a jangle of buckles and bands and Longma breathed out in a gratified snort. The saddle came free, the sticky blanket with it.

Wukong pulled a few hairs from his head and chewed them. When he blew them out he had a brush, a metal band that looked like a comb, an a curved iron piece.

“Let me tend you Brother. You carry our master day in and day out. Let me help as I know how.” The little brother asked, holding up the metal comb. Longma sighed. What he really wanted was to roll very undignified like in a nice patch of earth or sand. Instead he cocked one ear towards the stone monkey and nodded.

Wukong gave a little whoop of triumph then set to work. Though it had been five hundred years since he attended and took care of the horses of heaven, the knowledge of that time hadn’t faded. Wukong took the brush and began to tackle the sweat patch on the dragon horses back. He had to get the worst of the sweat off before it settled into a crust of hair and itchiness. So he set to brushing, first moving in little circles over the withers and down the back to break of where the sweat had tangled in the fur. Dirt and shedding fur came up in a flurry as the monkey worked his magic.

“Brother! You are shedding! You must be so uncomfortable in this heat.” Wukong tutted and cooed back, setting his hands to a flurry. Once the worst of the sweat and road dirt had been brushed and taken off the back, Wukong switched to the metal comb. Carefully and gently, to avoid the press of the metal on the points where the bone jutted or was closer to the surface, he brought the comb up and over. Clumps of the winter coat began to fly free in great flurries of white and grey.

The stone monkey was careful and diligent in his task. He found it soothing to brush and groom, to tend and care as he had when he had been in Heaven but also when he had been among his people. It almost pulled him into a trance like state, the task becoming enjoyable and habitual. Horse skin was sensitive, highly sensitive to the touch of flies on the withers, to the brush their velvet nose to feel sweet shoots of grass. He was gentle in the press of the comb, understanding that the metal bristles could hurt if applied with too much pressure.

Longma felt his head dipping lower and lower as the monkey set to work. Wukong combed his legs, his chest, his withers and shoulders. The relief! Longma felt the cool air kissing his skin as the old winter coat came free. A flurry of hair was gathering at his hooves, a great gathering of white grey fur. The two pilgrims stood in companionable silence, Longma soothed into almost slumber and Wukong consumed with the task of grooming. They were so absorbed they didn’t notice the birds of spring diving and gathering the great tufts of the dragon horses fur. Nesting materials this numerous were not to be frowned upon and the birds had a bountiful harvest for making nests and lining their woven work with the white down of Longmas winter coat.

“There brother doesn’t that feel better ?” Wukong finished removing most of the winter coat. The Monkey chuckled, seeing the half asleep expression upon the dragon horses face. It would be a time before the rest would give way. Winter fur always liked to cling and stay even after the dregs of spring have moved well into a summer balm.

“Alright Ba Longma, let me check your hooves.” The Stone monkey didn’t know if the senior disciple heard him. So Wukong set to the task of hoof care. He gently pressed into the horses leg and Longma lifted the foot instinctively.

“Brother! You have rocks all throughout the crevices!” Wukong truly was appalled now to see the state of the horses hooves. Such impaction with the hooves over time could lead to limping which could lead to further pain or, worse, lameness! Wukong champed his teeth and tutted more.

“You will go lame if you keep silent and then where will we be ?”Wukong spun the pick in hand and set it to the compacted hoof. He dug out the worst of the dirt and compacted little stones, careful of the sensitive parts in the middle of the foot called a frog. People thought horses to be tough and enduring animals when they needed as much care as a mistress of a fancy and rich house. They needed manicures and pedicures, grooming and tending, careful watch of diet and attention to detail. Each leg Wukong grumbled and chided the older disciple at his lack of self care and Longma simply sighed and grumbled. The dragon horse puffed in contentment. Now this… this was the life.

Wukong set the last hoof down and patted the white flank of his companion.

“From now on I will take care of you- we can’t have the senior disciple limping now can we?” Wukong chortled and left his brother to lie down and groan in relief.

“Thank you Brother…” Spring never felt so nice against Longmas now soothed and lighter fur, his brushed and tended body. The horse folded himself into the earth and closed his eyes, ready for a nice long and sweet nap. The birds flitted and landed upon the white flanks, plucking hairs and thick winter fur free. Longma felt none of their little ministrations as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

#hcwrites #writing stuff #hcfanfics #fanfic for digitalagepulao #HERE YOU GO!#I got to pull out all my horse knowledge into this from my years living on a ranch #jttw au #jttw tag #sun wukong #ba longma #sun clan au #expedition to the west AU #jttw fanfic #I had fun adding a little bit of comfort for the senior disciple #and Wukong going all calm and grooming? yes.#is it short ? yeah.#short little snippets of slices of life for my friend Pardal because her boys give off found family vibes #because who DOESNT LIKE A FOUND FAMILY TROUPE ?!#pls their art is so pretty too ugh

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nobie · 2 months

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I have an idea for a Codywan AU

Wild West (1910) Codywan AU where Cody is the Marshal of a small town called Tipoca. And one day an Archaeologist, Obi-Wan Kenobi, walks into town. He’s looking for a cavern that holds precious crystals of Kyber that’s been rumored to be near this town. He attempts to enlist the Marshal to help him on his journey. Kenobi is willing to do anything to get his hands on the Kyber before his rival Asajj Ventress thwarts his plan. Along with an impending darkness that threatens his expedition entirely. Is Marshal Cody willing to help? What will become of these two heroes in the end?

#but would you read it #if it was real 🧍#I’m imagining obi wan to be more like Henry Jones than classic indy #but he’d have a weapon #maybe a mix of the two of them #codywan #codywan AU #codywan fic #ideas #star wars #nobie does stuff

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vickylamore · 1 year

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Past The Breaking Point | Learn

ATEEZ x Female Reader

The revolution wasn't meant to be so gruesome. It wasn't supposed to be so violent. Peace and freedom were the only things everyone wanted, but corruption and dishonesty lead to where we are today. When you venture out of the safe zone in order to retrieve information, you come back to secrets unveiled and a possible genocide looming over your head.

genre: Dystopian/War AU, Rebellion/Revolution AU

warnings; death, violence, guns, conspiracy, wounds. (It's pretty gruesome, especially some of the scenes. there is some fluff though, not really.)

word count: 9.6k

notes; its comeback season (for me, at least). It's loosely inspired by/based on HALAZIA by ATEEZ (and you can't spell ate without ATEEZ, just saying). The story will be divided into three parts, the first one is learn. Hopefully, you guys enjoy reading :) it's very late, I'm very tired.

Based off of: HALAZIA - ATEEZ // Part One: Learn // Part Two // Part Three

Learning how to be an escape artist was hard. But like many other things amid the war reigning in the capital, you learned the hard way and conducted your first solo expedition six months afterwards. There were six small recording disks in the six major CORPS facilities up north; dozens of miles apart with different levels of security. The disks were circular and small with flashing red beacons underneath. If those beacons stopped flashing and stayed green, the recording limit had been exceeded. When Yeosang had told you that most were out of recording storage, you sighed.

Retrieving and replacing the small disks was nearly impossible and yet, it’s been three full years since you’ve done it. The recording capacity was about six months, capturing both audio and film, pictures and only turning on when a heath signal was present. It had been only four months since you installed the latest disks, which meant either they were planning something or the activity in those rooms was higher than usual.

The capital was a warzone for the last three years. The country had been divided into two sides, those who obeyed the corruption of the government or CORPS, and those who wanted something new; a new life, new freedom, a new world where they could live freely.

It was the rise of a new rebellion that started the chaos, all because CORPS prohibited all use of freedom, rights and expression.

Elders and children alike have been living in this rundown hellhole since you were eighteen, and still do this day, no efforts of peace have been made from their side. They want total annihilation of the rebellion you were a part of, the cult they called it—

HALAZIA wasn’t a cult— not in the way they put it. A rebellion in which the slogan was Hearts Awaken, Live Alive and be the Symbol of the Sun was not the significance of some cult that wanted total world control and run some sort of dictatorship government. You all wanted freedom from the shackles they put you in, you all wanted an escape from the cruel punishment methods. How they abused the technology they had created thanks to their people and used it in such tortuous ways.

And so, the capital split. CORPS had control up north with most parts of the east. The west had some control but it was small and had little to no power like the other areas. South and nearly the entirety of the west were run by ATEEZ, the core founders of the revolution, the core group you were a part of. The movement is exceptionally high in the west and progressing in the east, although it’s been hard gaining control and convincing those swallowed by fear and torment to change sides. There were also sectors in every part of the capital and running clocking-wise starting from the north, there were about twenty sectors per region.

The clock ticked five pm when you left the equipment room, your soft footsteps barely ringing in the underground base. Utility belt at your waist, black mask at the base of your face, watch with a built-in camera, gun strapped to your hip and of course, the small badge that had the revolution symbol, the ATEEZ flag, inside one of your pockets. You rarely interacted with your people and it wasn't because you didn’t want to. Rather, you were mostly the informant of the core members, looking for information and being one of the most agile ones in the foundation, you were needed for most difficult and complex situations. It would be detrimental if everyone knew who you were, even if no harm is intended. The badge was a piece of identity you would use only if you had to.

No one— granted, you hoped no one knew you were leaving. It wasn’t the first time you’d leave for these particular disks, but every time you did, it was almost like they were compelled to say goodbye in case something went wrong. Jongho did it last time and Yunho did it before that. Both of them should be some parts of the market a couple blocks down, probably seeing what’s happening in the community. Either way, Yeosang had already sent the blueprints of the buildings once again; news of renovations in the core facilities would change your infiltration path.

It was late afternoon, and riding your motorcycle by the time night hits would draw unwanted attention, especially if you were entering enemy territory with a curfew. You were going to wear your rollerblades, ones that would switch to your boots with a click to your ankles. Although it would take about two days to go to and back, it was better than getting caught because you were scared of a bit of cardio. The route was always the same, leave in the late afternoon towards the highest security facility and start there. It would be the most difficult and leaving would be even more of a bitch than getting in. The security would be less tight around seven and eight am when the night shift switches with the morning guards.

You stopped at the telecommunication station, and grabbed your earpiece, wearing it as the connection lit up on the screen as ACTIVE. Your name popped on the screen, right under two other names, your pulse at a steady rhythm beside it. You stared at the other names, finding comfort in the way their heartbeats were steady. To the left was a small window open, showing where everyone was through small red flashing lights. Everyone was in their room, except of course Mingi and Seonghwa, who were out right now.

And except for the person behind you.

“Don’t say you didn’t know I was leaving, you were with me when Yeosang called my radio.” A soft scoff left his mouth behind you. You didn’t bother turning around and tightened the glove strap around your wrists. “If it were up to me, I would leave tomorrow.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Rather get this over with,” you finally turned around and stared at Hongjoong. “It’s odd that the disks are already at max capacity. It’s not normal.”

He nodded, “I know. I don’t like it.”

“Me either.” You closed your eyes. “But the sooner I get them, the earlier we’ll have some idea of what’s going on.”

“Be careful.” He wasn’t asking. He wasn’t pleading either. “Especially when you cross center. You’ll have a better chance getting into the biggest facility than getting through center.”

Eyes open, you saw that Hongjoong wasn’t looking at you. Or if he were, he certainly wasn’t anymore. Instead, his eyes were trailed by the steady beat of your heart. “I didn’t think it could get any worse,” you said with a whisper. “And until we take control of the east, it’ll be hard putting pressure up north.”

He nodded again. “I know.”

The Center was technically the truce zone but you’ve heard the rumours about CORPS deploying soldiers in every single building they could access. People still lived in those areas, and they would perform random searches on homes and kill anyone who was a part of the revolution. If they thought that you were then they’d kill you on the spot. They stopped trying to find the core members after years of searching, they're killing anyone who’d look at them the wrong way. Hongjoong has a younger sister living in the center, and frankly, it’s a miracle that she’s still alive to this day. Most of you had family everywhere, and most of them took part in the revolution— the only exception was Wooyoung’s father, who didn’t know his son was one of the founders of ATEEZ. When Hongjoong visited her about two weeks ago, he came back with footage of these random searches and an audio file that involved her directly with three CORPS soldiers asking her all these overwhelming questions about her family, friends and affiliates that could even be thinking of being a part of the revolution. It was crazy.

It was too dangerous to move loved ones, especially if they lived in parts like the north or sections of the west and east that were still considered enemy territory. If CORPS kept tabs on all their civilians and some suddenly went missing, it could possibly be led back to any member. Your identities need to stay hidden all the way until the end, no matter what.

You understood Hongjoong’s concern however; lately, tensions are way too high for comfort. Your people weren’t stupid, they were equipped with guns, vehicles, equipment and homes they could go to, especially those who lived in the south. There were markets, shops for equipment, and everything you could possibly imagine while the city was in chaos. They were forced to use their weapons on the infiltrating soldiers, especially near the northeastern borders where the enemy can attack at any moment. The bloodshed that was forced upon the rebellion is giving CORPS even more of a reason to be aggressive. The shelters that were scattered in orange zones (dangerously close to the northern and northwestern borders leading into the heart of the western region) didn’t have as much support, so they were less fortunate with access to equipment and medical supplies. They held their ground, and the rebellion made sure to help those outside the safe zones in all ways they could— hell, Mingi and Seonghwa should be getting back sometime early morning after visiting the shelters all over the city.

You walked towards him, a hand on his shoulder and muttered, “I’ll be okay.”

“No words of conviction will make me feel better.”

You snorted, a small smile tugging your lips. “Send Wooyoung to the market up north later in case. If I need a backup, I’ll contact him and once I’m done, I’ll come back with him. Either way, he’s been itching to go out.”

You left him in the room as you walked out. As a good luck tradition, you touched the symbol on the wall, the ATEEZ flag which seemed to appease all your worries. Lingering in the doorway, your heartstrings tugged in all directions— it’s been a tough couple of weeks, one that no one was expecting. All sides were becoming more aggressive, it was far from the idea of peace and freedom you had in your mind.

Just play your part, you thought. Only time will tell.

Hongjoong was right, getting through the center would be the most difficult part of your run. It was an absolute warzone, no wonder he warned you. Getting to the center, because the base was pretty far south took about, on foot— rollerblades, the entire night. You were stuck in that hellhole for nearly two hours and had to venture and stay in a beatdown home for nearly half that time, avoiding the laser guns and eyes of CORPS soldiers who were patrolling in the late night of a cold spring day. Their flashlights were blinding and high vision too, forbid you were even caught with it, it would be disastrous. When you managed to leave and make your way to the first warehouse, it was already past eight.

The progress wasn’t as long as you thought now that you knew all the new shortcuts to cut the distance short. But they were danger zones, and you had to always be on guard if you didn't want to accidentally run into determined civilians that wanted nothing to do with the revolution.

Getting and switching the first disk in the largest CORPS base was relatively easy. It was easier than the previous times. Of course, it was challenging; avoiding the cameras and navigating through the newly built roads were difficult, but there were fewer soldiers than at all the other times. You still remembered when you were almost caught the first time you did what you had to do and it really wasn’t fun. The hallways were empty save for the main rooms such as training facilities and medicine. There were also the meeting rooms, where all of them, for some reason, were occupied. You took pictures of evidence while crawling through the vents as quietly as you could before grabbing and replacing the hidden disk in the area you left it in.

The distance from the first one was about thirty minutes if you were to drive, so it was nearly an hour for you to get there and retrieve it— and the distances between the other facilities were farther. Usually, it would take five hours to get to all six, and you’d add another four just to get in and out. Although it was the exact same order of business, getting inside and retrieving the disks was easier than usual. And it was the same thing for the third and fourth. When you got to the fifth facility, you almost didn’t go in.

It was empty.

Not a ghost town sort of empty, but more than half the soldiers usually assigned to patrol were nowhere to be found. Your footsteps as you walked through the empty room almost felt hallowed. You hadn’t touched your gun during your entire outing and for some reason, despite the stillness and silence, you really wanted to have it in your hand. It felt dangerous to even breathe, you were too paranoid to let the base know what was going on, scared that it was all just an illusion and they were waiting for you.

But the attack never came. And it was the exact same when you went to the last facility.

Your expedition time was cut by a couple of hours, and now it was five in the afternoon. With the last facility being near the west border, you decide to stay in one of the few ATEEZ safehouses used by those a part of the rebellion and take refuge in hopes of escaping CORPS. It was an abandoned warehouse-like car parking that had a surprising number of levels. You knew they were in the higher parts of the building. In case unwanted guests made themselves known, they could use the fire escape on the roof or escape from one of the windows onto one of the buildings below. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been and so, the people who lived knew who you were.

Inside a smaller house, you searched for anyone who might be there before settling in the kitchen and leaning against the counter. It was the first breather you took ever since you crossed center and finally, with some time to breathe, you called base.

“Z to base,” you whispered, pressing the button on your earpiece until someone spoke. “Z to base.”

Your earpiece cracked. “Base to Z, go ahead.”

“I got the disks, and replaced them as well.” The disks were in your left pouch, it was one of the most secure places where you could store them. “I should be travelling back sooner than expected— can you connect me to Rouge?”

“I didn’t even notice you left,” San’s voice buzzed through.

“Funny,” you snorted, “and where’s Robin, I miss him at the comms.”

“Rude,” he whined. “Robin’s analyzing data with J and Cypher right now. But they’re here and they can hear you.”

“What about Ace, X and Silver?”

“Just walked in.”

“Alright, great,” you turned on your watch— why was, in reality, a smartwatch but anyways— and selected all the pictures you’d taken, sending them to the base computers.

Wooyoung’s voice soon buzzed through. “Rouge to base, what’s up?”

“On a call with Z in the north,” San informed.

“Can you pick me up?” you asked quietly, going through the pictures, “I’m all set to get back home.”

“Already?” Wooyoung's surprise didn't go unnoticed. “You sure you did it right?”

“Don't test me, dipshit,” you groaned while sending the pictures back to base. “X, Silver— you there?”

“We hear you loud and clear, Z,” Seonghwa replied, “what's up?”

“First, I'm glad you guys got back okay. Second, while you guys were up north, did you pass by CORPS facilities or hear anything unusual about them?”

“I heard that there was a lot of commotion happening at the main facility, sure, but it's always like that when we're up north,” informed Silver— Seonghwa. “Why?”

“Crow, I'm sending pictures to the base right now, you should get them in a bit— I sent them to you as well Rouge, make sure no one can see you while looking at them,” you clicked the send button and turned the watch off. “Usually, it would take me eight to nine hours to go through all six facilities— I would even do it over a course of two or three days depending on the situation. I finished in six hours today.”

Your watch lit up: MAIL RECEIVED AND OPENED.

You sighed and closed your eyes, “the photos were taken inside the CORPS facilities earlier today. The last ten pictures are images taken from facilities five and six and—”

“They're empty.”

“Exactly,” breath caught your throat, the worst possible explanations running wild through your head. Mingi's words probably voiced what everyone was thinking. “The usual number of soldiers inside those facilities was slashed in half.”

“What the hell,” Hongjoong whispered under his breath. “What the hell is going on?”

“It's almost like they've transferred facilities but they're nowhere to be found, and all the meeting rooms were filled, every single one.” The words held so much weight that it dizzied you. You hated going into something blind, with no information that could help or warn you. For the very first time, none of you could predict what CORPS was planning.

And it terrified you.

“Z, Rouge,” Hongjoong called urgently, “I need both of you out of the red zones and get back as soon as you can.”

“What about the disks?” suddenly asked Jongho.

“No impurities were found when I scanned them, and even if there were any, I took the memory card and destroyed the devices. No trackers were found.”

“I doubt they know about them,” Yeosang muttered, “if they did, they would've deactivated them and lured her out in the next two months. They weren't deactivated until today, which matches up with her getting them.”

"I'm gonna stay at the second safe house in sector fifty-two until Rouge gets here,” you informed with a shaky sigh.

“I'm half an hour out, I'll try getting there faster, alright?”

“Okay.” You opened your eyes, dread filling your stomach. “Okay— I'll let you guys know when he picks me up.”

“You guys be careful.”

Hongjoong wasn't asking again. He wasn't pleading again either. It was an order to reunite with each and stay safe until getting back home.

“We will.” You weren't even sure. “I'll talk to you guys later.”

You ended the call, your heart thumping in your chest, inside the ways of your skull— the dread caused nausea in your stomach and it shook your entire core. The fear of the unknown was a real one, it was a sort of fear you’d never wish upon your worst enemy. It leads to stress and anxiety, fogging one’s mindset to the point where one wouldn’t be able to think properly.

And being on the side that had no idea what was going on sucked.

You left the small house after clearing your head and made your way to the second safehouse in sector fifty-two. Again, you knew most of the people there and if you didn’t know some, you were about to be acquitted soon. The rebellion wasn’t aggressive— the people in your community were some of the most loving and determined people you’ve ever come across. They were hardworking and wanted peace and freedom like the rest of the people that are making current historic markings in the revolution.

You only hoped that the revolution would give them what they were yearning for soon.

Looking around to make sure the coast was clear, you walked towards the building. You flashed your badge to the people above, noticing they had hidden their guns as soon as they saw the symbol. Only the nine of you had the badge and only used it in certain situations. Forbid CORPS knew you had those badges.

You walked towards the entrance, slipping into the open doorway and climbing up the different floors until you reached the floor where a group of seven people were. You had seen them before, for the last three years in fact. They were friends and good people. You nodded as a sign of recognition and walked towards them. Although your mask still concealed the bottom half of your face, you still smiled through your eyes.

“Thank you for not putting a bullet in my head,” you whispered, your voice tired. Your eyes fell on the guns they had. Those were definitely new. “Wouldn’t want to waste a new bullet.”

“Pretty sweet, right?” One of the men, Alex, nodded and showed the weapon. “The commanders personally came by a few days ago; got new medical supplies and more food. And of course, the weapons.”

“Good,” you agreed. “Use them only when you need to, alright?” They nodded. You looked towards the path leading to another floor, “if you guys are still alive and kicking, I’m guessing she’s still here?”

“She never left,” one of the older women grinned, “she’s been up all morning tending to injuries. You should find her when you go up a level or two.”

“Alright, I’ll be staying for a short while before hitting the road,” you turned on your heel, “take care of yourselves, okay?”

“Hey, Commander Z,” one of them called right before you went up. You turned your head over your shoulder. “How bad is it out there? The radios keep reporting hundreds dying every single day and most are our people.”

You inhaled deeply. The facilities being nearly vacant, the CORPS soldiers that are nowhere to be found— where the hell do you even begin?

They were in the west, specifically near the borders. Although it was technically close to the revolution’s territory, it was still considered an orange zone because they were near the borders, on the north side of the northwestern border, and things were never really quiet. The center zones were as bad as the rumours were and you couldn’t imagine how it was in the east. With each passing day, people were dying and the government was getting more aggressive, a lot more than before.

“Being a part of the revolution means that there are times where it’s quiet, and other times, there’s bloodshed. Right now, it’s bloodshed.” The words felt heavy, the weight was sinking into your skin, as if it was the first time you actually acknowledged the fact that people lost their lives at a terrifying rate these past few weeks. “But keep standing your ground, that’s the best thing you can do right now.”

You climbed up to the next level, nodded and waved at the people, including the children that ran around or played quietly in their respective corners. Going up another floor, you watched as someone sat straight against a pillar and a woman was tending to their wound. You smiled softly and walked towards them. She didn’t see you since her back was facing you, but the boy did, he just didn’t show it.

“—just be careful next time, you’re too important to get hurt because you decided to do some parkour with some friends,” she was talking less like a doctor and more like a mother, you saw it in her eyes; the concern and worry, the slight disappointment as well. She looked over her shoulder, “you boys can help him to the lower level.”

The teenage boys helped their friend up. He had a bandaged ankle and split eyebrow; he most likely landed poorly on his ankle and fell to the floor pretty hard. He got off lucky though, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like a bitch.

The trio walked past you, nodding their heads. “Hey, Commander,” one of the boys said. You saw the woman turn her head at the word as you greeted the boys.

There was no one left apart from the both of you and you fully waited for the boys to leave before saying anything. You walked towards her, her eyes softening upon your face. Once you reached her, her hand gently pulled your mask down. Her hand resting on your cheek, she sighed and dusted off the dirt from your face.

“Hi, mom,” you smiled, a tired sigh leaving your mouth. “You know the boys will never learn, right?”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t tend to their injuries, sweetheart,” scoffing under her breath, she brought you into her arms. She was warmer than you, despite living in a place with no running electricity. She didn’t age at all despite not seeing her for a little over ten months. It was probably the longest you’ve gone without seeing her; the last time you were in these territories, you couldn’t stop by because CORPS soldiers were harder to shake than usual. You didn’t want to possibly lead them toward one of the safehouses. There was another a few buildings down and had a bit more people living there, a dozen or so. Again, they were good people who wanted nothing but freedom.

“How you doing, Z?” A pang reached your heart upon the code name. Looking around, you grabbed her hand and lead her into one of the rooms further down. There was no door and it was pretty hallowed, but it gave the both of you more privacy. She sighed, a small smile on her lips, “how are you doing, (Y/n)?”

“Tired,” your voice broke, everything you just learned raining over your head. “Everything’s kinda hectic right now.”

“So I’ve heard,” she nodded and looked into your eyes, a small source of hesitation behind them, “tell me, is it as bad as they say it is?”

You didn’t want to worry her. You couldn’t. The reunion after ten long and treacherous months was supposed to be blissful, not painful and full of despair and fear. But you could never hide anything from her, not even when the city hadn't gone to shit. And so, with a slight nod, you let your head fall, “it’s so much worse.” Your eyes filled with tears. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“From the beginning, sweetheart,” her hands found your shoulders, desperately trying to get her to look at you. “It’ll clear your head— even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“I can’t,” you whispered bitterly, a lump in your throat, “Woo is gonna be here in twenty minutes— if I start, I’ll keep him waiting and I need to get back in the south.”

She hummed, “that boy still is looking after you after all this time, huh?”

You laughed, “he’s practically glued to my hip. That’s your fault.”

“Well,” she smiled, “his mother and I are best friends, it’s only natural for you both to be close— but you surrounded yourself with a group of determined and really stubborn young men that want to change our lives for the better.”

You laughed again, blinking the tears that once filled your eyes away. You stared at your mother, the one that convinced you to continue in the revolution even when fear shook your entire body and wanted to give up. The woman in front of you is and will forever be your heroine.

“You may be laughing but I’m serious,” her eyes caught yours. “I know it might be really hard right now and I can’t possibly fathom what you’re doing through but don’t let doubt settle in here because it didn’t wait three years just for you to let it in now.” She touched the left side of your chest. “I didn’t raise a quitter, I raised one of the leaders of a revolution that will succeed. Difficult todays will lead to better tomorrows, remember?”

Nodding, her hands rested on your cheeks while your own held her wrists. You always wondered how she came up with the words of encouragement even in the darkest of times. Her eyes still held so much light after all the shit she’s been through; raising you a single mother since the age of four and having only Wooyoung’s mother as a shoulder to cry on when times get tough, finishing med school with her and becoming a pediatrician, she was the woman you aspired to be to this day.

“Thank you,” you let your lips curl into a small but genuine smile, “I needed it.”

She had opened her mouth to say some snarky comment or cheesy line but the words never reached your ears. And they never fell off of her tongue.

Gunshots from across the block tore your head away from her hands, and screams and cries for help fell silent a few seconds later. The shots came from the first safehouse in sector fifty-two. In the distance entering the building were none other than CORPS soldiers with heavy guns and masks, shooting every single person, elderly or child, they could find. You watched in absolute terror as they gunned down a teenage girl, pleading to spare her life only to stop upon a gunshot wound to the head.

“What the hell—” your words fell on deaf ears.

From below, a yell of pure panic begged everyone to get down boomed throughout the entire facility. You ripped your head towards the open floor, just quick enough to see a small circular device being thrown from one of the frameless windows and roll on the ground.

Shit.

Grabbing her shoulders as fast as you could, you pulled your mother to the floor, just as the can exploded and thick, yellow gas quickly filled the space you were in. The fog filled every corner of the level in literal seconds, the smell irritating your throat and lungs.

“Don’t breath in the gas,” you instructed quickly, pulling up your mask back up to your nose and grabbing your gun, “stay low and don’t make a sound—”

“It’s CORPS soldiers!” Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. Alex’s voice yelled amid the gas. “They have us surrounded—!”

Gunshots silenced him.

The sound came from all over, the gunshots and the screams of pure terror and fear filled every single floor. Cries and pleads become hallowed whispers and croaks as the people— your people were silenced. You moved to the center of the floor in a hurry, rushing towards the entrance to the upper floor. Your eyes looked outside the window, your finger pulling the trigger and hitting the soldiers hiding in the buildings below, taking cover behind the walls when a retaliation came. Gunshots came from everywhere, if they came from your people or CORPS— you didn’t know.

The bullets shot from your gun hit their target, but there were more CORPS soldiers than the bullets inside. They weren’t stopping until every single one of you was dead.

You ran back to where your mother was, shooting the soldiers below once more. “We gotta go and we gotta go now,” you rushed, voice stern. “I can’t hold them off and I don’t know if those below us can either.”

The cries and screams continued to run up the walls. The building shook as the soldiers infiltrated the building.

Your mother nodded her head, “okay.”

Shots came from all directions again.

“We’re going from the back windows, alright? When I tell you to, you run and you don’t look back. There should be a building, not too high but you gotta jump down and run, okay? I’ll be right behind you.”

Gun in hand, eyes barely glancing outside and shot the soldier that lined his rifle with your mother’s head. “Go.” She ran behind you, crouching and hiding behind the large pillars that supported the foundation. Shots came as they saw you both running and in retaliation, you shot back.

They just kept coming. There was no end.

You hide behind a pillar, catching your breath as you changed the gun sleeve, load another round of ammunition and put the older one in your pouch.

“To your left!”

In a swift motion, you pointed your gun, shot the soldier at the window and watched him fall.

But his bullet shot before you could stop him. You barely saw it travel through the smoke.

A cry, soft and quiet, barely caught onto your ears. In a panic, you turned around, your worse fears coming to light.

Red pooled from the middle of your mother’s chest and from her crouched position, she fell to the floor.

“No—” you cried, rushed— the words rushed out of your mouth. “No, no, no, no.”

You rushed towards her, pulled down your mask, fell to your knees and went to press your hands to her chest. She grabbed your wrists before you could. Your eyes wide, both out of panic and surprise, stared down. “Mom—”

“Go.” it was rushed, forced out of pain and anguish, it was drawn out and the voice broke at the end. Tears filled her eyes. Tears you never thought were possible to see in the eyes of your heroine, your mother, the only one that genuinely made you who you were today. But there they are, staring back at you all wide and red.

You wondered if the tears were from the smoke— if they made her cry even more… the air was thick and yellow, and filled with gas— tear gas, ones that made you cry and made your lungs burn. Or was it the pain in her chest, the one you couldn’t take away?

The building shook again, and the numerous stomping and yells from below only crept the ever-lasting story of the abandoned warehouse many took refuge, in including yourself and the only person you called home. They all ran, they all wanted freedom, wanted something more— and if living in a warehouse with people who agreed and believed in the same things you did, believed for a better future, then let them have their freedom.

But life isn’t fair.

“Mom— no,” you held onto her hand, forced your fingers between hers, and tried pulling her up and run away with you. “Mom.” But she couldn't, not in her condition. Bullets flew once again, and dozens of people started falling, yelling, and crying out of pain. Red soon stained the floors, and the yellow smoke continued creeping up the walls, the windows, and the stairs all the way to the top floor.

They’re coming.

“Mom—” she shook her head, having no words to say anymore. Your eyes filled with tears, more than hers. They fell faster, harder and heavier. Hers weren’t even out her eyes. You weren’t ready for this— for a goodbye. Not like this, not today. “Ma, please.”

She cupped your face, her fingers shaking, her breath quivering. Her words, as soft and quiet as ever, “go, sweetheart.” You couldn’t even look her in the eyes. “You’re time is not now.”

“Let it be,” you wanted to yell, let the world know that it wasn’t fair but your voice came out in a pitiful excuse of a whisper, of a desperate cry. “I can’t be without you, not now. Not when we’re so close.”

Soft eyes stared back at yours, ones that were quickly losing their light. The blood that escaped from her chest wound was dangerously close to your shoes. She recognized this. “The revolution needs you, those people need you. I need you to be with those boys.” The words were quiet and shaky yet there was no room for argument. The fingers on your cheeks lost their grip but the smile she gave never lost its happiness, nor did it lose its light. She pulled up your mask, letting the fabric fall right on top of your nose. “Go, sweetheart— don’t let them scan your face. Go, now. I love you.”

Those words. I love you. So easily said and quickly forgotten until it means something more. No one could ever say I love you after the past had been written, not even you.

The words that were right there on the tip of your tongue never escaped your mouth. With all her strength, she pushed you away from her just as CORPS rushed up the stairs. The shots came first— the one meant for you was guarded by her.

And they came again, and again, and again.

You scrambled to your feet, rushing behind a pillar, mind clouded and head heavy. It rang, it rang really bad. The bullets kept flying, toward you and any survivors. Clouds of dust erupted from the ground from the bullets that were shot— screams and cries of mercy ripped the throats of the ones wishing for their own freedom in this cruel world.

Your legs moved before your mind understood what was going on, your eyes fixated on the open window that would lead you to an open roof of a building down below. It was going to hurt trying to land on it, and the odds of avoiding a bullet in your head were slim to none. They knew where you were, and the voices that came out robotic and menacing from beneath the helmet assured you that they weren’t going to show any mercy to anyone who was a part of the revolution. But your ears still rang from all the shots echoing in the wide now empty level of the warehouse, you couldn’t hear what they were saying or whatever gibberish they were spouting.

It all sounded the same.

The utility belt around your waist held three items that could help you, your radio in case your in-ear communicator wasn’t working, your gun and a smoke bomb. What a beautiful retaliation it was and how easy it seemed to take your weapon and kill every single one of them. Shoot them between the eyes or in the back of the head as they did the civilians. How easy would it be to die here, right now because you drew your gun once more in hopes to abolish the anguish of your shaking heart after witnessing the death of your mother?

It would be so easy. Too easy.

You grabbed the smoke bomb, pulled the switch, and threw it behind you. The makeshift can fell to the floor and rolled before detonating within seconds. The fog was purple, unlike the yellow from earlier. It didn’t sting the eyes like the other either, but it was thicker than whatever garbage the soldiers threw. Activating your rollerblades, your body moved, running towards the opening of the building. The cement floor captured your hassling footsteps and the CORPS soldiers who were blind from all angles, started shooting into the air.

Your legs jumped onto the seal and clung onto it, observing your escape route as your mind continued to swirl. Your body leapt out of the building and landed on the slanted roof below before running for safety. A safehouse marked by ATZ would help tremendously, but no one was safe anymore. All conquered zones seem to be infiltrated by the government that is still somehow running this broken and run-down world, one that was once filled with goodness, even just a small portion had it all stripped away by war and greed.

The country was torn between people who obeyed the law in fear of getting killed and others who disobeyed in the hope of freedom— whatever freedom might be.

The gunshots continued to blow and spattered across the very roof you were running on, shooting holes in the concrete below your feet. You've never been a fast runner, not as fast as some of the people you know. It wasn't your forte and will never be. Running brought too many memories, running was the last resort when you had no one to run to, no vehicle or place for shelter. You jumped onto another rooftop, followed by another before climbing up another you— they still followed from afar with their guns, even now from two blocks away.

You climbed a higher building, nearly the same height as the first. The roof the slanted, which should create some sort of shield between you and CORPS and—

The pain of something hitting your side brought you back out of your stupor. The weight of the impact made you lose control. Your rollerblades skidded across the roof, came to an abrupt halt and brought you down, rolled to the edge of the slanted roof and fell a story or two to the floor. Large concrete pillars that fell ages ago cushioned your landing— well, it was better than falling directly onto rebar if you were a tad bit closer to the corner of the roof. The moan that left your mouth was painful, a cry for help as you flipped yourself over onto your back. It took all of your strength to press a shaking hand on your wound, crying and yelling out profanities. You looked up at the sky, the grey and dusty clouds that seemed to pity your entire existence.

The wind blew across your face. You shivered. Blood spilled from the right side of your abdomen onto the floor below, the gunshot wound burning with every lapsed breath you took. You pulled your mask down— it’s getting harder to breathe. No matter how hard you pressed, your hands grew red as the blood spilled on the floor. The world turned black behind your forcefully closed eyelids. The heart in your chest beat out of control, pumping the most blood it can in the circumstances it’s currently in.

Your earpiece cracked static and continued until a voice came through. The wind blew as night approached, settling into the evening. Crazy how quickly the weather changed. The voice called your name again until you found the strength to reply.

“Here,” the wind that blew nearly concealed your frail voice. “I’m here.”

“—what the hell is happening? Your heart's racing like crazy.” San’s voice clouded your ringing head once more. “Z, what's going on?”

A shiver ran down your spine as it got colder, the temperature changing at a rapid rate. Your breaths grew shaky, and your vision, although already fuzzy, grew fuzzier. Your shoulders slumped against the wall behind you as he called you again, urgently this time.

“They shot up the safehouses,” the words forced their way out of your mouth. “Everyone who took refuge there is dead… every single one.” Coughs erupted from your throat, both from the lack of oxygen you were getting because you were breathing too quickly and the wind blew dust around you. Squeezing your eyes in hopes of blinking the dizziness away, another voice cracked through your earpiece.

“Who did?” Hongjoong asked. He knew and if the entire team was still in the room, they knew too. You could almost envision him right now; he’s standing right next to San, eyes narrowed towards the screen, watching nothing but the soundwaves your voice produced. There was also probably the red beacon that blinked every second, signalling where you were. You wondered if Wooyoung’s following the red beacon, you hoped he wasn’t going to where you were.

“CORPS shot up both safehouses in sector fifty-two.”

Complete silence was on the other side. No one said a word, and even if it was only Hongjoong and San in the room at the moment, they said nothing. You tried to move again but ended up letting a muffled cry, your head spinning once more.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, his voice a lot more telling, a lot more concerned. “Z, you gotta talk to me.”

“She’s about three blocks west of the second safehouse,” Wooyoung’s voice cracked into the conversation. You heard his motorcycle rev in the comm. “I’m a minute out, just hold on until then.”

They kept talking but no words made any sense. The world grew colder, the world was already dark behind your closed eyes. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. Your head continued to ring, and your ears are on fire. You can’t even mourn properly, everything was too exhausting, too difficult. The clouds in your eyes were stained and rained red, the blood of innocents spilling onto the floor. The sky thundered in anger, the bolts of lights dark with sadness. It hurt too much to think— the mere thought of your mother ached too much.

You heard him before you saw him. You heard the bike first, the way it shook the ground you laid on. His helmet fell on the floor with a dull thud. You felt his footsteps against the ground before hearing them. His hand went to your ear and turned off your comm before he called your name. You heard him but had no strength to respond, tell him that you’re still here. Your breathing lapsed, and quickened, everything weighing down on your heavily.

“She was shot in the lower left side of her abdomen, losing a lot of blood,” he said. “—I don’t know yet. Checking now.”

You felt your body move, you sat up straight and rapid pressure on your side made you groan, slowly opening your eyes to see the familiar cherry red he recently before Christmas. “It went through— hold on.” His eyes, filled with concern, caught yours almost immediately.

“Woo?”

“Yeah,” he nodded and continued bandaging your wound, wrapping the gauze around your abdomen over and over. Eyes focused and jaw tight, he still managed to speak with the same voice he did whenever you were in trouble. “I’m right here— just stay still for me, okay? I gotta stop the bleeding.” You winced, biting back a cry as he tightened it. “I know, I’m sorry— lean your head against my shoulder if you need to.”

Banging on the top of the building you fell off of tore your eyes open and lifted your head to the roof. They were heavy and the same menacing voices broke through the silence. Mass footsteps cluttered the roof before going quiet. Small creaks soon followed.

Fuck.

His gaze followed yours. He heard them, there’s no way he didn’t. He turned off his earpiece. You opened your mouth but the look he gave you and a quick shake of his head told you to stay quiet. His eyes went back and focused on your stomach, finishing the last layers before cutting the excess and putting it in the medkit he had open.

He took off his jacket and draped it around your shoulders. With a curt call to your name, you focused on his eyes again right before your own started closing. “Listen. I’m gonna pick you up and it’s gonna hurt like hell but it’s the quickest to get us out of here. It’s gonna go by fast and it will alert the soldiers but I rather not find out how many of them there are. I just need you to stay awake until we get somewhere safe, alright?”

You nodded. He pulled your mask up as he did his own.

Until we get somewhere safe. Nowhere was safe anymore, especially after what happened. But you trusted him, and Hongjoong, and everyone that led the revolutionary. You had to.

He did what he said he would and it hurt even more than you thought. You bit your tongue to stop the cries from leaving your mouth. One moment you were on the floor and the next, you were on his motorcycle with him behind you. You leaned against him, too tired to keep yourself up. Just moments later, he started the engine and sped away. Within those same moments, shots were fired toward you.

You closed your eyes, head ringing again from all the noise. Thoughts running ramped and yet, not one made any sense. Too tired to think straight, too tired to think. The noises started merging into one before none reached your ears anymore. You fell into a deep, comforting silence.

It was warm. You were warmer compared to before.

You were on the floor, but whatever heat source you were close to keep you from freezing. It was hard to open your eyes at first, and even when you did, an orange flame made you close them again. Your side hurt really bad, worse than before. But the heat was helping, maybe a little too much.

“— she isn’t awake yet, no.” A familiar voice reached your ears. “It started downpouring, I didn’t want her getting sick on top of her wound.”

Wooyoung wasn’t too far away from you, a couple feet in front perhaps? “No, don’t send anyone our way. We already made it past center. We’ll be home by morning.” He spoke again. “I’m fine, I’m just worried about her.”

“We’re lucky the bullet didn’t hit any vital organs, and that it went through. But I’ll have to see how she’s doing when she wakes up, there’s no telling until then.” He sighed. “I’ll call later, yeah— yeah, you too.”

You opened your eyes and turned your head to the sound of his voice. You were inside a small barn, you could tell by the architecture. The heat source was a pit of fire he must've lightened. He sat against the wall, eyes looking outside. They were cloudy yet deep in thought. You didn’t like seeing him or any of them stressed, it wasn’t good.

“Woo,” you whispered, voice scuffed and dry. The older man— in reality, it’s only by a couple months— snapped his head towards you and made his way over. He had his medkit in hand and crouched next to you.

“Hey,” he whispered, sending you a small smile, “how are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” you groaned, inhaling deeply. “I feel like shit.”

“Figured,” Wooyoung nodded, “you’re gonna feel like it for the next few weeks. But as cliche as it sounds, you dodged a bullet.”

You sent him a knowing look, “that’s not funny.” Your lips tugged upwards.

“Maybe you didn’t really but it could’ve been a lot worse.” He took out another roll of gauze and bandages and a bottle of painkillers and another of antibiotics. “The bullet missed everything but an artery, that’s why you were bleeding so much. But it stopped so we should be fine, hopefully.”

“Hopefully?” You raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you playing doctor right now?”

“You’re better at these things than I am,” he scoffed before closing his eyes. “It’s terrifying taking care of someone for the first time.”

You closed your eyes as well, “it is not the first time. In the early stages of the revolution, you helped me all the time.”

He laughed, “yeah ‘cause for some reason, you were clumsier than you are now.”

You opened your eyes and sent him another look but didn’t say anything. A small sigh left your mouth, “how’d you get past center so easily?”

“So you were awake while I was on the call with Seonghwa, I wasn’t sure— sit up for me, I gotta change your bandages.” You grabbed onto his forearms as he helped you sit up, small groans of discomfort leaving your mouth. You pulled up your shirt— hoodie? You pulled up your hoodie as Wooyoung unwrapped the other one. “Easily is an overstatement. After we left the safehouses, I practically raced towards center before the curfew. It was hard but I managed to get us in undetected. You were unconscious when we got there but were lucky enough that Hongjoong’s sister didn’t lock up for the night. We stayed there for a couple hours, that’s where the hoodie and joggers came from— I also put all your things in my bag, including your earpiece and gun.”

You nodded your head. You didn’t want to see the old bandages so you settled for looking at your childhood best friend, and watched as he concentrated on wrapping the newer one.

“They were doing the random searches again, and luck was on our side because they searched her home. I had to hide us under her bed to avoid getting caught.” Wooyoung recounted. “Anyways, we hit the road around one, it’s five right now. It started raining an hour ago so I brought us here. We should be entering south in an hour or two and then base two or three hours afterwards.”

“Good to know,” you whispered.

He didn’t look at you. Rather, a small expression crossed his eyes. One that you didn’t really recognize.

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

You hummed quietly, “yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

Anguish filled your chest, and dread and agony soon followed. It was at the back of your mind ever since you woke up, but the words never crossed your lips. One moment, she was laughing with you and the next she was dying on the floor. You closed your eyes, hiding the tears that threatened to spill.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” he whispered, finishing the last layers. “I know damn well that when my mom passed away, I didn’t want to talk about it either— not even with you.”

At least they’d find peace with each other and continue to live without the other. Woo’s mom had died roughly the same way yours did at the very beginning of the revolution. The same young man that was in front of you had come a long way ever since it started. He had become bolder, more carefree and despite the fact you didn’t think he could, he sheltered his heart even more than he already did.

“But I learned that it doesn’t get any better— the pain I mean,” his words were heavy as he spoke. “And you don’t really learn how to deal with it. You’ll find other things to cope with rather than facing it head-on. If I did it, you’ll probably do the same.” He gently pulled your hoodie down and grabbed a water bottle from the medkit. “But after everything that happened, don’t try dismissing your feelings. You’ve done that enough. Talk about it with someone, I don’t care if it’s not me but talk about it with someone when you’re ready.”

With a shaky breath, you looked back at him, “how did you cope?”

A weighted question. How does one cope with the loss of a loved one? So many people have been coping with their problems, with death, ever since the revolution started. You wondered how some dealt with losing their entire family.

He put two pills, a painkiller and an antibiotic, in your palm and handed you the open bottle. “You first start with acknowledging your pain. Although everyone deals with loss, your pain is yours alone. Don’t try to compare it with others. That leads to denial and pushing your feelings under the rug.” He sat next to you. “I had to force myself to acknowledge that her death wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger— even if it felt like I did.”

“It feels like I did,” you whispered, “she was right there and I didn’t react fast enough to stop that soldier from shooting her.” You swallowed the pills. The lump in your throat made it difficult.

You blinked the tears away, “she’s gone.”

“I know.”

“They're all gone,” tears filled your eyes. You leaned your head against his shoulder, your vision cloudy with tears. “Where did I go wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You don’t—” you swallowed the jump in your throat. “You don’t know that. You weren’t there.”

He turned his head towards yours, “I didn’t need to be there to know that you did everything you could.” Wooyoung let out a heavy breath, "their deaths aren't on you."

You opened your mouth to retort, to say something else, but they fell on deaf ears. Instead, you heard the small buzz of his earpiece. “Wooyoung to base. What’s up?”

You watched as his eyebrows knit together, jaw tight, “what, why?”

His shoulders tensed suddenly. He gently got up, careful not to move you and went to grab his radio. As he walked back, he flipped through the different channels, up until a voice, one of high authority spoke. The voice was gruff, menacing. You both made eye contact.

“Who—”

“CORPS’ chief commander.”

A pit fell to your stomach.

“— Today, we successfully erased six safehouses that belonged to the rebellion known as HALAZIA, with the group named ATEEZ at its center. Thank you to the community that has helped our soldiers fight against the cult that is trying to take over the capital. However, I have made a shocking discovery that I’m about to share, so please, your surprise was my utmost sincere shock.”

The voice sounded familiar for some reason but since it was a radio transmission, you couldn’t put a face to the voice.

“In one of the safehouses, I, unfortunately, discovered the body of my late ex-wife, the name of whom I won’t disclose right away. She had a child, one that I didn’t know existed until a couple moments ago. However, because of this, we were able to identify one of the core members of the rebellion. (Y/n) (L/n), if you are listening to this message, I, your father, have a proposal for you.”

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big-nerd-boi · 4 months

Text

A sneak peak of a part of my very own storyline/ au/ fanfic or something- I don’t know guys I’m just here for monkeys.

But I do have a name for it!

Kill the crown.

Pretty cool right? I think so-

Okay basic run down!

At the end of

“the journey to the west”

Which I have not read yet so bear with me on this canon divergence— Wukong goes to the jade emperor to have his crown removed. JE decides that no, Wukong is too unruly and dangerous to keep around; unfortunately killing him is out of his options because Wukong is effectively completely immortal now, so instead— JE recites a variation of the crown’s spell and effectively puts Wukong into a coma cannot wake himself up from.

From there, Wukong is thrown back onto flower fruit mountain ( the art is of Wukong in his coma) and left to rot. Neither his brothers nor master know where he is, so they wait… and wait- until they continue with their own lives.

Eventually heaven is taken over by someone else, the jade emperor destroyed by a creature only known by the veiled emperor.

No one knows their face, their real name, or the extend of their powers. Only that they’ve laid siege on the celestial realm, destroying anyone who stands in their way.

Fifty earthly years pass, parts of China are now controlled by the veiled emperor as well- and said power is creeping along, covering more and more kingdoms.

Humans and demons alike of course fight back, warring against the celestial realm.

One free kingdom is The Kingdom of the Eastern Sun. Ruled by a demonic king, and his empress… the stone ape, the long armed gibbon, Min-Yáng. Together she and Bojing ( her husband ) have four children.

The main of which is the second oldest, Ming-Yue/ Yue for short. Over the years, there have been rumors of Monkey King’s staff being hidden among the earth- and she was fascinated by it.

She was even more intrigued when a general spoke about finding what they thought to be said staff, requesting her parents for an expedition group.

Heng, Min-Yáng’s sworn brother and the stone baboon, offered to join this party. Yue snuck out, hiding away to join the crew. No one was any wiser until it was too late to bring her back.

Finding the staff is the catalyst, even more so when Yue plucks it from the crater it had formed when falling from heaven.

From then on, she and her uncle Heng are hunted by misguided ( if not outright forced ) celestial soldiers, even other demons! All of them wanting the staff to give to the new emperor.

There is only one person still on the mortal plane that can help, the legendary monkey king. But only one of equal power and strength can awaken him from the crown’s curse.

Someone that had been dead for decades, the last monkey born from stone… the six eared macaque: Luhan.

And that’s a quick summary of Kill The Crown so far!

Of course there’s so many more characters and details I’m skipping over like Yue’s siblings, Guanyin’s role, and so much more!! But dang I’m so excited to share this story with everybody! Of course, soon to come is art of everybody once I format it all to Tumblr. But if you’re too impatient- my insta has quite a bit of kill the crown art!

#journey to the west #monkey king #six eared macaque #jttw fanart #jttw au #jttw #jttw sun wukong #sun wukong #jttw monkey king #jttw oc #how does tumblr work #the brainrot is real

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digitaldoeslmk · 6 months

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Random ask, maybe cause of the shadowpeach fusion art, did or does your depiction wukong ever love someone more then others he met? Doesn't have to be romantic love, not sure how you see him and romance in general, so just cared for more then anyone else he met in his long immortal (x so so so many times) life?

mmm that's a fair question....

i view book canon Wukong in a very aroace light, he just has the whole vibes for it. that said I never thought much about any sort of relationship for him in this au. i'm giving him a qpr mate in my Expedition to the West AU, but for this one, nothing came up just yet!

i imagine he's had many friends he's been very close and fond of over the years! tbh him and DBK were particularly close back in his warlord king days, thus why he did his best to be a good uncle to Red Son despite the rift between Wukong and his sworn brother during the journey.

at the end of the day, he's a family man through and through; if he likes you enough, he's more likely to adopt you into his family than to have a relationship xD

#lmk au #by the book au

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stevetonyweekly · 11 months

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SteveTony Weekly - June 4

Happy June!!! It’s my favorite month of the year. So here’s a bunch of fic to enjoy and start the best month--be sure to leave comment/kudos for your authors!

~*~

the soul stands ajar by starvels (dinosaur)

It's snowing on the mountainside, the 5th time they have the argument about whether either of them have a soul anymore.

rumors all around (say her body is fantastic) by starvels (dinosaur)

“For the record,” Steve tries again. “It wasn’t about my underwear,” he pauses. “But mine are very nice as well.”

Cherry Ride by copperbadge

A SHIELD agent named Roger Stevens told Tony that his nickname was "Cap". Tony didn't connect the dots until it was much, much too late.

Second Chance Lives by raeldaza

Tony's gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

In Tandem by RurouniHime

“Want a blood test,” Steve manages, because on the third night of their Week, he can think more clearly than he’s been able to for days. Tony’s scent is strong in his nostrils, cloying in a strange, sleek way he yearns after like a tune he nearly recognizes. “If you’re getting sick—”

“God.” Tony shifts bodily up into him, clenching around him. “Yes, Mom.”

Object: Matrimony by BladeoftheNebula

Omega Tony Stark craves adventure and an escape from the life his parents have planned for him in New York. He places a listing in a marriage catalogue to seek a match with an alpha out West, and Sheriff Steve Rogers answers his advertisement. But finding a nice alpha doesn't mean it's all smooth sailing from there...

- A Mail Order Bride AU -

Heart in Hand by janonny

Steve had been thinking — that was all he was doing, thinking, not moping, as Bucky described it — about the best way to make his feelings clear to Tony. He wanted it to be perfect. He needed it to be the best demonstration of sincere interest that Tony had ever received.

Bucky called it procrastinating, but Steve called it strategizing.

And this Courting Ceremony? It was perfect.

Now he just needed to figure out what to get Tony as a Courting gift. And what to wear. And what to say. And what to do.

Or the story where Tony, an Omega, holds a much belated Courting Ceremony. Steve joins up and loses his mind a little.

Sense of Memory and Desire by iam93percentstardust

On the verge of his heat, Tony gets asked to star in a perfume ad. He agrees - but only if his alpha gets to be his costar.

Sweet domesticity by masterlokisev159

Steve and Tony have always had their moments, it's just part of being together. They drive each other crazy but at the end of the day they’ll always have each other's backs, in and out of battle. In sickness and in health.

That last one isn’t complicated for Steve. Today isn’t an exception.

One Nation Indivisible by theladyscribe

They ask Steve to lead the Pledge at the memorial service for the Battle of Manhattan, and of course he agrees.

Pro Patria by Sarah K (tears_of_nienna)

Tony visits Arlington and finds that he's not the only Avenger there.

Concerto Memorial by TariCalmcacil

Steve just wanted to spend Memorial Day thinking about his friends. He didn't realize that Tony had the same idea when he dragged him to DC for the National Memorial Day Concert.

Or: how Steve stopped seeing Tony as an annoying acquaintance whom wasn't quite as awful as he originally thought and started seeing him as a friend.

Stuff We Did by Captain_Panda

When the end comes, there is no last act of defiance from the great Tony Stark.

The "Up" AU prequel to Married Life.

To Stay or Go? by iam93percentstardust

The lawns of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters are kept immaculate, the hedges sculpted into interesting shapes of fantastical animals and mythological figures. Sarah, however, is more interested in the mansion at the end of the long drive. Sprawling and large enough to fit over a dozen of her small apartment, the school cuts an imposing figure against the skyline. Sarah shivers, reminding herself, as she looks back at the boy drawing in a notebook in the passenger seat, that this is necessary.

My Better Half, My Saving Grace by ChocolateCapCookie

The five different ways Steve Rogers loves Tony Stark

A Forever Thing by midnightsnacks

Tony jumped up, ready to throw his drink right into the strangers face when a strong hand grabbed his wrist and held him in place. He looked up into unforgettably bright eyes. So, not a stranger then.

Are we satellites? by starvels (dinosaur)

In between sunrises on the road, Steve is speaking, eating, stepping into diners to save people like coming back to his childhood home.

And Tony, Tony is watching him. Tony is relearning being awake.

A cross country roadtrip where Steve and Tony find the typical American town, a fuckton of trees and finally, finally, find the right questions to ask each other.

#stevetony weekly #stevetony #stony #stony weekly #stony fic #stevetony fic #fic rec #rec list #stevetony rec #stony recs #captain america #iron man #steve rogers #tony stark

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pistonsandgearsinc · 6 months

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Traintober Special: Discovery and Collection

"Toby's Discovery"

[Late 20th Century Sodor, Tidmouth Hault, West Sodor.]

"Come along Toby, we're going exploring." Toby had found himself taking The Fat Controller and his family to a small station on Duck's Branch line, what had initially been a small outing to the seaside and soon turned into an adventure. An expedition as Sir Robert would call it, Toby had idly wondered if perhaps Sir Topham spent a bit too much time around The Earl. . .

"If you don't mind my asking sir, where will be going?", The Fat Controller dopily turned around, a childlike glint in his eye.

Toby hadn't quite gotten a straight answer, it seemed Sir Topham had wanted it to be a surprise. In truth this wasn't such a bad thing, but Toby wasn't quite sure he liked where they were going, they were now entering the wildest part of Sodor. At least, wild to an engine who didn't leave the ffarquhar branch often.

He had been shaken from his thoughts by the realization he had arrived at a lonely signal box along the branch line.

As the driver and firemen disembarked, a sleepy signalman clambered down from his box. He looked as if he hadn't slept properly in sometime, and was quite jittery too.

Whilst Topham and his crew spoke with the signalman, Toby looked around at the barren countryside.

"Toby is everything alright?" Henrietta asked. Toby hadn't realized it, but he'd been staring off into space for a while now. "I'm quite alright Henrietta, no need to worry about me." he said as casually as he could. He wasn't sure but he was sure he saw something behind the bushes and trees in the distance.

The adventure was soon underway once more as they travelled down the abandoned branch, enduring many brambles and bushes before arriving at another little junction.

They were faced with the choice of the castle, and the mine. Naturally the children wished to see the castle, and Topham had agreed.

"There's the castle!" cried Richard from inside Henrietta. All eyes affixed to the giant structure not far away from an old water tower.

The castle was as to be expected slowly crumbling away but stood tall and mighty, it gave Toby a sense of foreboding, but perhaps it was just the dilapidated nature of the structure.

"Yesss. .and now we shall visit the mine." The Fat Controller said to himself thoughtfully.

Toby didn't know why, wouldn't know for a while even, but his heart sank at that.

PrincessMuffins, CJ The Creator, Carsfan16, StarSearch etc. [I have only reskinned some stuff].

I'm gonna level with everyone. I haven't been consistent with my postings for traintober, because of not being inspired in some cases, and suffering burn out in others.

I was gonna do more for the last day to make up for it, but I got sick mere days before.

I'll be posting the prompts I didn't get to though, and stuff inspired by them.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2023.

PS. If you have any question about my AU don't be afraid to ask!

#ttte au #sprites #traintober #traintober 2023 #ttte toby #ttte henrietta #mentioned #ttte sir topham hatt #ttte lady hatt #ttte hatt children #ttte bertram #Tidmouth Hault

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prpfs · 9 months

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👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨Hey all, and welcome to my bestie bonanza(Young Justice, DC Comics, Dragon Ball Z, Hunter x Hunter, and Detective Conan)! I have a serious hankering for some best friend ships and I'd love to find a partner that loves dynamic duos just as much as I do! It'd be super appreciated if you were 21+, patient with reply times, and had an inclination towards being a more descriptive writer! 🍪Doesn't have to be included, however, it is heavily implied for quite a few of these! And before it comes up, please no bottom or sub only roleplayers! My top fatigue is unreal right now, and I'm tired of always having to carry stories despite promises of equal effort. I'll gladly write with switches and tops, just be aware that most of my muses tend to be assertive and enjoy a challenge. On to the bestie duos...

Wally West x Dick Grayson - I'm primarily looking for Young Justice verse, and I'd absolutely kill for an opportunity to write a crossdressing for justice plot wherein Wally unknowingly stumbles upon Dick in the midst of an undercover mission. Whether he realizes this is Dick or not is entirely up to you, and to be clear, I'm interested in writing as Dick.

Jonathan Kent x Damian Wayne - Anything with omegaverse is a yes, but please note I'm looking to write Damian as an omega or a broken alpha(I'll be glad to elaborate in DMs) with a very slight preference for writing him as a broken alpha. I don't care what Jon's caste is. I'm also interested in mythological AUs(ex. Damian is intended to be a human sacrifice for Jon who is a local deity). Another note, but Damian is likely to be the most aggressive, assertive, dominant, or whatever you want to call it, muse on this list. He's more than happy to take advantage of what he presumes to be a naive Jon for his personal benefit.

Trunks Briefs x Goten Son - Anything with omegaverse is a yes, but please note I'm exclusively looking to write Goten as an omega. I'd also love to write them stuck together on a space expedition. Maybe in a smaller, one bedroom model ship with limited resources and understanding on how to navigate despite Trunks' initial confidence.

Gon Freecs x Killua Zoldyck - I'd love to write Killua opposite of a feral boy Gon, perhaps even nonverbal if you believe you can pull it off. I'm honestly open to any kind of AU with these two. Wolfboy!Gon x Hunter!Killua. A roommates AU where Killua naively believes that Gon is far too stupid or innocent to realize that he cams for his half of the rent, only to realize he's been a viewer this entire time. Rich boy and country bumpkin dynamics!

Heiji Hattori x Shinichi Kudo - So, because this is such a rare ship, I'm open to playing either character. I'm not looking to write against Conan, so ideally, he'll have either regained access to his real body or never lost it in the first place. I'm thinking something geared towards a complex mystery that results in them either having to share close quarters over an extended period of time, or them being trapped together for an extended period of time. Fuck or Die situations are strongly encouraged.

Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!

#dc roleplay #dc rp #dragon ball roleplay #dragon ball rp #hunter x hunter roleplay #hunter x hunter rp #detective conan roleplay #detective conan rp #young justice roleplay #young justice rp #fandom roleplay #fandom rp #cc x cc #dead dove #21+ rp #colored text for ts

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digitalagepulao · 9 months

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The Missing Bai Longma Incident

seems like someone forgot to warn their hosts that Tripitaka's horse is also one of his disciples and can't quite have classes in the stables (it was Wukong). luckily that's a quick fix, unlike a kidnapping of some sort.

aaaand Tripitaka and Ao Lie reveal uwu

i like to picture dragons having just So Much Hair in human form because it's their mane all condensed on the top of their head. it feels fitting that Lie would also wear some sort of curlicle headband himself, and the fancy topknot is still there since he IS a prince. the long nails/talons is also a nobility signifier, so it works out.

as for Tripitaka, he gets earrings to weigh down his earlobes and well, he's the son of a nobleman. i gave him a different backstory (but only slightly) so instead of missing a pinkie toe, he has a scar on his head. I'll go into deets later on when i have a proper ref for his outfits since he got a couple in this au uwu

#jttw #journey to the west #xiyouji #jttw au #jttw fanart #expedition to the west au #sun wukong #tang sanzang #tripitaka #ao lie #bai longma #bell dragon art

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pastelsandpining · 1 year

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First Line Tag Game

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Ohh my gosh i was tagged so many times thank you so much 😭😭😭 @aheavenscorner @linktheacehero @louwhose @embyrinitalics !!

oh gosh i have to look at dates now

poetry and peonies (cinderella au wip)

Link has never been inside of a castle before.

untitled young hylia wip

We bestow this sacred artifact unto you.

untitled wild west au

“...and everythin’ was gone?”

spellbound

It was midnight when Link emerged from the sea off the coast of Lurelin.

a confession

The air was always crisp up in the Tabantha Frontier.

witch hunt wip

He hates her.

atlantis au with @farore-or-less

Decades ago, Gaepora Hyrule set out on an expedition to find something utterly legendary; it was something that the world believed to be little more than a story.

sonata of significance

Months ago, Link had been utterly confident that the people of Hyrule, the castle staff, the council, were going to skewer him and leave him to rot.

milk&honey (nsfw wip)

The downpour of rain trickles off of the roof in steady streams, filling the atmosphere with a quiet, calming sort of noise.

warm

It’s their first night together after a century separation; Link isn’t entirely certain what he should do.

tagging (and feel free to ignore!): @farore-or-less @ladyhoneydee @linksthoughtbrambles @deiliamedlini @ghostgirl19posts @novantinuum @fatefulfaerie @michpat6 @spicychestnut @zeldaseyebrows

#tag game #the way most of these are wips #i have so many ideas and NO TIME TO WRITE #cinderella au is COMING i swear #and so are all your requests!!#when i can have a break from work where i’m not SICK #i’ll spam everyone’s dash eith fics

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riewritten · 2 years

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16 SILLY WISHES

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST | chapter directory

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you, no y/n | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Trigger warning: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues, trauma, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3

As the investigation of Sawney and Bean’s murder pushed through, you spent all of your time procuring supplies and arranging meetings with noblemen to ensure funds — all the while maintaining the confidentiality of the upcoming expedition. The agenda Erwin had disclosed to everyone was to scout in the nearby area and come back alive; nothing more, nothing less. He explained that this short-distance expedition would serve as a trial for bringing Eren back to Shiganshina.

Even if you completely understood why he kept the agenda hidden from almost everyone, the thought of the Scouts returning with less than twenty people again haunted you.

The day was filled with utter apprehension. Not long after the gates opened, the squad nearby informed the command unit of the sudden wipe-out. In fact, more were still dying as they spoke—the right flank released numerous black signal flares, the specific position with many excellent soldiers. It was as though they were begging for the commander to signal defeat so everyone could run back to the walls before it was too late.

And yet, even with such grave news, Erwin persisted, “No, we’ll continue. Relay this to the rear flank: only the central column wagon will enter the forest.” The squad leaders followed through and let you enter with the Command unit, albeit utterly confused.

This might be a stark reminder of how far Erwin could go.

No, actually not.

This isn’t a reminder because you’re seeing a whole new thing; a whole new side of Erwin standing before you, channeling his new and concrete goal mercilessly without a hint of doubt.

Much to Erwin’s hunches, the titan who came inside the walls, presumably female, is real. It said a lot when the stomps became nearer and Erwin shouted, “Fire!”

The traps worked. It immobilized her. However, just when all of you thought the mission was a success, it screamed. It screamed and a bunch of mindless titans freed her of capturement by munching on her meat. The agenda shifted then.

“All squads, commence to attack! Defend the female titan to death!”

However, that’s beyond everyone’s control. The steam from her was too thick and the titans were too many. Almost ten soldiers died from that alone.

When you came back to your commander at the tree branch, however, another realization daunted you.

Erwin was smiling like a maniac.

“So what the fuck are you gleaming for?” Levi glowered in horror and you were dead frozen too.

“She got us. She was even prepared to give up everything.” Still beaming, he continued. “I never thought she would let the titans eat her to erase the information we’re so desperate to have.”

“Right,” You muttered grimly still with wide eyes towards him. “So call for everyone to go back before they finish the feast and have us for dessert.”

“All troops, pull out! Get to your horses while the titans are focused on her remains. We’d leave all the wagons behind! Gather west of the titan forest and get back in formation! We’re returning to Karanes District!” The soldiers quickly fled to relay his command.

“After all my bluster in front of the council, we still got no gains than exceeding the record of death tolls. I wonder what will happen to us and Eren when we come back to the gates.” Levi grimaced.

“If we get to come back, that is,” you replied amidst the chilling sight of the titan feast. Levi huffed a tsk and Erwin remained silent for a while.

“We don’t have time to ponder on that. The priority for now is to lessen the casualties." As if realizing something, he added. “Levi, don’t go back yet. Replenish your gas and blades first.”

“Huh? That’d take so much time. I have enough until we get out of this mess. Just let me go back to my squad.”

You were taken aback at the command as well. Levi is right. He could ensure the lives of plenty of soldiers somehow.

“That’s an order. Obey.”

He could at least tell both of you why.

Levi looked at him in disbelief but realized it was futile, and thus he just shook his head. “Erwin. We’re going to trust your judgment for now. Don’t fail us.”

Erwin then called your name. “The formation is completely incapacitated. Go to the frontlines and protect the rest. If you’d be able to outlive that until we’re close to the walls and safety is guaranteed, come back to me.” You stayed silent but readied regardless. “I dropped a command. Answer.”

“To protect, I could. To outlive is uncertain.” You shot your gear towards another tree and positioned yourself to fly.

“I don’t accept derelictions in my command and I’m not in the mood to bring your incapacitated body back to the walls yet.”

That made you smile wryly. It’s not like he can do anything about it. If he wanted to tell you to take care then he should’ve just told you straight. As you fled, you shot him a laugh and shouted. “Nice to know my commander isn’t willing to offer my life to humanity yet!”

All of you were around a hundred and half when the expedition started but now, as you go back in the walls, the soldiers are more or less than fifty. At least it isn’t twenty, you tried to bargain to yourself even if you know it wouldn’t suffice.

“Commander Erwin! We’d like you to answer a few questions!” A citizen shouted from behind. “Have you managed to accomplish some grandiose goal to make up for the great number of victims Scout Regiment suffered?” The tone was mocking. When you turned towards the familiar person speaking, you realized he was one of the families left behind by the soldier who died on an expedition before this one. “Tell me, commander! Do you have any regrets about sacrificing all of them! When are you gonna admit this is all for naught!” You figured it was a very valid question had the tone been not like that. Clouded by the catastrophe all of you just went through, you grit your teeth and glared at him, about to retaliate on the scowl he just gave.

“Don’t,” Erwin stopped you. “You out of all people should understand where he’s coming from.”

That made you grip the rope you’re clinging to. Indeed you do. There were plenty of "what if?" scenarios going through your head right now. That perhaps things would have gone smoother had Erwin’s methods been different, or at the very least, it was disclosed to a lot more soldiers. You just can't remove that from you. However, you are past the stage of blaming him now. As bad of a butcher he could be, no one in this land as far as you’re concerned would be able to account for the lives of multiple people just so humankind could retaliate against those who want everyone dead.

“I don’t think I do now,” you muttered weakly with eyes sullen on the ground.

“Well, you should. You’d have nothing to live for in this regiment if you’d go soft on me. You clearly established your disdain would make you move forward until we figure out the things we need to. Embody that and don’t fail me," he sternly replied. “I am not guilty of this. Keep that in mind.”

Erwin might have forgotten you’re not that stupid and you can see right through him, so that remark made you avert your gaze sidewards and furrow your brows in worry. You don’t think your disdain is pretty much relevant in your mission now. Heck, you’re not even sure if you still have that. But this matter would take a lot of time to talk about and there’s no bearing in clarifying.

“Funny of you to assume I’d go soft on you,” you let out a small laugh to establish your lie as something genuine.

“Right,” he smiled slightly, “That’s my soldier.”

Your eyes were filled with guilt.

The lantern parade went in peace without you causing a scene. The downside is that Erwin seemed to avoid you since then, a very untimely moment considering your recent dreams. On the other hand, it made you understand why he is crippled with culpability.

The only way you could fully debrief yourself is by having him near you at every chance you could get. The Erwin here is not cold and merciless, and that even if he was merciless in some other world, he will be forgiven. He existed right in front of you and so you’d see to it that it’s done. He will be forgiven.

"His empty persuasive words went back to him. No wonder he'd be that sullen after the talk in the gym," Levi remarked, relaxed on his seat with the dining table separating you both.

"I don't think I shattered his pride," you worriedly replied. "Maybe he's just reminded that some things are easier said than done."

He then scooted closer and scrutinized your features, "Then why do you look so bothered?"

"I actually won't bother myself on this but our talk stuck on me! What if he leaves? What should I do, Levi?" Despite the serious inquiry, Levi remained silent, blinked a few times, and stared at you without apparent expression. "Why?"

Levi stood up and ruffled your hair, "Nothing. Just thought the last time you begged for my guidance was when you were a tiny girl. What do you want to eat?"

He sounded as though rewarding you like a dog successfully doing a trick. "Creep."

His ruffling became faster, making a real mess out of your hair.

“Levi!”

"You ignored me for years. Cope."

"If you were that bothered then why didn't you just come to me straight and ask?"

"You know I'm not the one to get on people's nerves,” Levi then walked to the kitchen for some glasses and grabbed random stuff from the refrigerator, “and I thought your avoidance was caused by your infatuation towards me." He then gave you a slice of cake, "Now eat."

He knew?! "How did you know that?"

Levi flatly filled your glass with fresh milk, "Just a hunch. Now you've confirmed it."

You put your head down on the table and pulled on your hair hard in embarrassment. "I'm sure Isabel told you!" you exclaimed. "Forget Erwin. I’m going home."

"Don’t bother, I'll give you the time to sulk. Also, if you still hold affection towards me then that explains why you're extremely ashamed. It's okay, though. I understand."

"No, I don't!" you glared then angrily chomped down on the cake. "If you don't have any helpful advice to give then just admit it! Don't stray away from the topic."

"I admit I'm a bit confused so I need to know your perspective. What do you want to do with him?"

"I want to help him carry whatever burden he has." But then Levi smirked hence you felt the need to clarify, "I know! He most likely won't allow it. My reason is quite shallow, too, but you know I always take your words seriously. Not making him disappear is my top priority." This time, your voice tipped lower, confidence completely diminished, "...and I need him so I can deal with this properly. He can't just go away."

Levi seemed pretty satisfied with that hence he grabbed his car keys from the shelf, "Go with me, then. I have to go to Erwin's house tonight."

"Huh?" you widen your eyes. "Why would I go to his house?"

"If you want him to stay then you have to take extra measures. His shutting-off tendencies could get hard to deal with. You need to prevent it before he gets to be dead set on that. Talk it out to him or whatever." He walked towards you to get his coat. "Understand?"

I don't, you huffed on your seat. "It's not like you'd let me say no. I'll try to figure it out."

"Good girl," he patted your shoulder then squeezed on it. "Finish that cake then go to the car."

You sighed and lamented, “Levi, stop treating me like a little kid.”

“Deal with it.”

The surprise on Erwin's face was palpable when both of you showed up on his door. Nonetheless, you and him feigned composure just as if there was no ongoing tension. Why do I have to deal with this?

But then, it's not like he could do anything, not when it’s Levi who brought you here. "Luckily I have extra stock of food. You may enter."

"You don't need to bother with that," you gulped the nervousness down. "I ate before coming here.”

The only acknowledgment he gave you was a nod. After a while, they told you to settle and entertain yourself anywhere in the unit as they talk. You ended up staying on the balcony with a sour expression. What Erwin could make you do keeps on surprising you. You never thought you had the gall to do something like this, definitely not when you usually don't have the energy to socialize let alone chase the company of other people. As you let the wind drape on your face, you noticed how restless and nervous you are. That's why when you saw his pack of cigarettes and a lighter on the table you stared down at it.

You never smoked all your life despite it being overly stressful at times. Going through other people's things is also against your values. But you're quite stressed and your restlessness could sometimes get out of hand. You also got really curious on what that would taste like; if it could indeed calm you down somehow, perhaps be a prospect habit from hereon. That’s why you tried to open it and when you noticed how full it was, you thought; I don't think he'd notice if I get one. You put a stick in your mouth and lit it up.

The next thing you knew you were a coughing mess. You tried again because it tasted menthol, but your lungs didn't forgive you. And while you understand that, you flushed in panic upon hearing the sliding door open.

Oh god, he won't forgive me for this.

He squinted his eyes and called your name, "What are you doing?"

"I'm–" terrible coughs cut you off, "I'm sorry!"

The smell immediately answered his question. He shook his head and sat beside you, clapping on your upper back gently to ease your coughing. Your head glued to the ground when it subsided, perhaps urging it to swallow you.

"Fine now?"

"I'm really sorry," you muttered and hardly gripped your pants. "God, sorry." This second one is barely audible.

"How have you been the past few days? Are you okay?"

"Fine as usual." Of course, not! I wouldn't be here if I was!

"That's good to know. The nightmares seem to not affect you that much now."

Well, apparently you started ignoring me so I feel like getting back to square one. "Yeah, I suppose." This feels awfully awkward for you.

"So what brought you here?"

Even though you told Levi you'd figure it out somehow, you completely had no idea how. You tried to come up with whatever, "Nightmare’s a bit bad actually. I figured I could ground myself somewhere which ended up on your balcony."

"How could you ground yourself on a place this high?"

"That's an awful dad joke."

Erwin sighed, he has a complete idea why you came here with such an agenda. "So what's up with the nightmares?"

"Some usual terrible events," you gulped down and decided to just drop what you really feel, "but I realized I could come to someone who completely knew about it. I was relieved instead."

"What happened might be something brought to you by your commander. Are you still relieved by my presence?"

Maybe that's why he was ignoring you, you thought to yourself. Does he see himself as someone not qualified to console you regarding this matter?

"Yeah," your stance got firmer and thus you smiled, "I'm being reminded that you don't have the right to order me around in this world after all."

Erwin laughed, "And when I thought it was my presence alone."

"That's why, please, don't go far away from here."

Your voice reeked of begging despite sheer tranquility. Erwin was speechless for a while.

"I didn't know you could be quite clingy."

"I’m not!" But then you realized if you were able to establish and admit that, maybe you could hold him down from disappearing somehow. "I mean, you might be right. You're the only one I have on this after all."

"Don't let that get to my head. I might forget why I went here."

"To be honest, seeing you like that makes me think I should do nothing in this life but embody a reason so I would remain tied to that world as well."

"That's very unnecessary. We don’t share the same burden."

"Indeed, so if you ought to carry those sins throughout your life, would it be unreasonable for me to ask if I could help in carrying it?"

"Yes, it is."

"I don't think so," you also tried to convince yourself. “Unlike me, you seem to have a clear reason why you have a recollection of everything. Having nothing of that leaves me haunted with no direction. I need to move on in that world as well and I think going with you would help that." You don't know where these words are coming from but still, you decided to be dead honest. "That way you won't have any reason to leave me on my own with this. Consider it a deal."

You felt his eyes piercing through you but you still remained glued to the floor. He took time to respond again, "You don't have to carry my sins in that world just so I won't leave you alone. I can do this as long as you want me to."

That made your eyes wide. Your flushed face isn't due to embarrassment anymore, “Is this because you’re indebted to me?”

“Yes.”

That got you rueful again. “I see.” It's easy to say that you'd take whatever he could give, but it's a terrible thing to make use of his guilt when what you wanted to do was alleviate it. How are you supposed to respond? How could you relay that you don't want it forced? And just who are you to pile up so many wishes?

"But don't get me wrong, I wasn't forced by my debt to do that," he clarified as if he read your mind. "Coming here was one of the happiest decisions I have made in this life. Even if I don't think I deserve that much."

“What you deserve is debatable, but I’m happy to hear that nonetheless.” This time, you reciprocated his stare on you. “I also lied about just going somewhere randomly. I intentionally went here because I noticed you've been avoiding me.”

Erwin shook his head; the gesture made you doubt as well. The thought that you might be overthinking flustered you. You would seem really desperate if that’s the case.

“So… what was that? You used to greet me and initiate small talks whenever we crossed paths. Or nod at the very least. Tried to ask you about something course-related one time but you turned your back on me. I considered the possibility that you’re just having a bad day but you interact with other people just fine. I apologize if I apparently got the wrong idea.”

“Hm,” he pondered, “I never thought you’d be bothered by that.”

“So you really are avoiding me?” You asked and weren't able to hide your disappointment. He heaved no response again. “I hope you could just tell me why and I’d completely respect that. I’m just not good at shrugging this kind of thing off.” With that, you finally realized why. If you won’t be able to address your mother awfully ignoring you for decades, you really don’t have enough patience for other people doing the same without telling you why. Even if you’re not the one to talk because of what you did to Levi, if this was another person you’d opt to never talk to them again.

“I don’t want to mutter silly excuses. I hope I can just make up for that.”

“A reason is enough.”

“Apparently, I also can’t figure out why.”

You shot him a glare while his eyes remained glued on the scenery. If he says it like that—even if both of you have an inkling why—then there’s no use in pressing. Thinking of ways to get back somehow, you just stood up to go back inside, but ruffled his hair messily first. He was immensely taken aback and quickly turned to you, “What was that for?”

“An attempt to annoy. Now I’m finally grounded from that dream. My commander would make me see hell if I did that," you turned your back to him and opened the sliding door. “Glad to know you won’t.”

Erwin was too stunned to speak and; he finally understood why head pats irk you. It’s not like he’s vexed as well, but if this is how you'd establish the differences he had from the Commander, then he wouldn't be able to help himself but tease you back in gratitude.

With that, he’s able to confirm one of his hunches as well; This world might be set up to grant everyone’s wishes. Despite it sounding good, he holds that possibility with sheer distaste. Not only does he think living in comfort isn’t something he wished for, but deep inside him, he hopes this world stands on a higher footing than that terrible predicament.

When he still felt your presence from behind, he looked back again, “What now?” You’re already inside but the sliding door’s still barely open and you’re clinging on the curtains, making your head the only thing he could see.

“I was actually waiting for you to be annoyed and make me see hell.”

Erwin tried to conceal his snicker so he could cater to what you want, “Yeah, you were successful in doing that. Now go back.”

“Really? Then would you let me see hell now, Commander?”

Erwin ended up failing to conceal his amusement. At the same time, he didn’t know he could get too pleased with you using that nickname to him. “Strange how you could drop all the needed honorifics but use that one to banter.”

“I feel quite smug when using it. I hope you'll get used to me being disrespectful from now on.”

“If that’s what would comfort you from the fact that you’re shamelessly under my command for a lifetime, then suit yourself.”

“Hah,” you huffed, “then I dare you repeat that this time around.”

That was the final push to act on his amusement. He scooted from his position so he could fully face you, now with a smug smirk. “Are you sure about that? Old habits die hard, young lady.”

That trivial action alone killed the teasing challenge in you. That’s actually kind of him to ask that, you thought. But you despised the way he noticed your hesitation. His smirk became an actual mocking smile. “Pray tell, how do you want me to dominate you in this lifetime?”

“Don’t even dare!” you exclaimed in complete fluster.

His eyebrows perked up, “You’re taking the challenge back? Is my pretty little soldier a scaredy girl now?”

“Oh god,” you whispered under your breath. You’re not sure if this was a feeling you picked up from your nightmare counterpart, but you feel extremely hot right now and his pet name didn’t help. However, admitting defeat was never on your list. “I never thought you’d get into it immediately. Is this one of the things you said you wanted to do in this world? How vile.”

“Believe me, that’s only the baseline. The least vile at that,” you gulped down, extremely challenged on how to respond this time around because his insanely provocative voice is making your mind mushy.

“Now I’m curious to know more. Would my secretive commander allow me to see that?”

His eyebrows perked up, “If you’re that interested then I would be more than pleased to show you. But are you sure you could take that? Given how flushed your face is right now it seems like I have to prepare you for that.” Take what?! You shouted inside your head. I don’t even know what you’re trying to say now!

All your thoughts went loose when an arm abruptly wrapped around your shoulder. You shrieked at the action. “So both of you are goods now, huh?” Levi flatly remarked.

Erwin stayed silent, his provocative stare replaced with deadpan at Levi interrupting his humor. You’re silently but immensely thankful for the smaller man, though. Levi moved his hand near your face to feel it a bit. “Now why are you hot?”

You shot him a bad glare, “Please shut up.”

"You look like the time when Isabel blurted out your elementary crush on the dining table.” I can't believe this man. “Is the moment I'm interrupting right now similar to that? I feel bad now."

“Stop!” you tried to remove his arm on your neck but he gripped on it harder, now turning to Erwin. “Am I, Erwin?” Levi sounds completely amused.

“You are,” Erwin nodded.

“No, you’re not!” you tried to resist again but to no avail. “Levi, you’re making it hard for me to breathe.”

He ignored you, “As much as I feel bad, I have to bring this thing back now. Would you mind?”

“Suit yourself," Erwin then stood up, but before he could enter the house again he tapped your cheek. “Wish for something you can take next time, missy.”

You squealed weakly but frustratingly under Levi’s hold. “I swear to god, this is the most shameful thing I've experienced in my life.”

“Now I feel bad for ruining that,” he mocked flatly, still not moving.

“Please let me go now or I’ll cry.”

"So, did the talk go differently? What's your assessment?"

"Positive. I just need to compose myself again but in case you need affirmations, you helped me a lot today."

“Well, you certainly look like you need that moment. Having Erwin here really broke your impression of being composed in my face,” he withdrew his arm on your shoulder now. “What a sight to see.”Yeah, what a sight to see. You thought to yourself. Maybe you should ponder if getting near Erwin at every chance you could get was really a good idea, or if it would just exude pathetic stuttering thoughts you don’t wish to show to anyone.

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i initially planned on holding this ff down for a while because of personal life struggles, but the comments and kudos in ao3 make me falter (as well as the likes I often receive here even if it's not that much <333). the serotonin boost I get in writing this doesn't help in my plans. so yeah, I hope these chapters would give you the happiness you're all giving to me :)

from miico.jpg HDJSJSJS WHY IS THIS SO CANON

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