#everyone from era iv is mentioned at least once
Text
ditching chores/sneaking kisses
mushy may ; day twenty one !! (approx 3.6k words)
read under the cut or on ao3 :)
this was meant to be romantic and it just turned very, very silly jdsfhd
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1
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The first thing Rain saw when he appeared in the summoning circle was a giant. Well, okay after he’d had a few seconds to fully take him all in he was pretty sure he was just an exceptionally tall earth ghoul, but giant worked well for the moment. When the noise, smoke and chaos calmed down, slithering back through the circle and into the ether of the pits, Rain tried to stand and take stock of his surroundings. Just as he managed to haul himself up into a standing position, something in his leg buckled but before he could hit the ground he found himself caught up in a strong pair of arms.
“Careful, kid. Don’t want you injuring yourself after only being here five seconds.”
Rain rolled his eyes. “Just because you’re a giant, doesn’t mean everyone around you is a kid, earthy.”
“Oh, he’s feisty!” Someone else’s voice rang out in the small stone room; a damp looking multi ghoul wrapped in an oversized grey blanket. He must be a new summon as well. “I think I’m going to like him.” His grin was sharp and infectious, Rain smiled back. Had he already made a friend?
The earth ghoul chuckled at their exchange. “My name’s Mountain. Do you have one?”
Rain tore his eyes away from the multi to pay attention to Mountain. “Uh huh,” he nodded. “Rain.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rain,” yet another voice spoke, but this one’s owner wasn’t a ghoul. His face was painted in intentional strokes of black and white, the markings around his eyes and cheeks clearly meant to resemble a skull and he was dressed entirely in liturgical vestments, his mitre bearing the mark of the Ghost Project. No way. Rain had heard whispers of a project of this nature in the Pit, nothing proven, nothing concrete; a division of the Old One’s church Up Top spreading His word through song all over the world. He hadn’t believed it at the time, it had all sounded too far fetched but… here it was.
“Papa Emeritus?”
The man—although he was a bit more than that if the rumours were true, wasn’t he—looked taken aback. “You know who I am?”
“Of course I do?” Rain was shocked that he wasn’t aware of his own fame. “In the Pit, there’s been rumours of what you’ve been doing for what feels like forever.”
Papa tutted. “Interesting… This is what Swiss told me earlier.” At Rain’s questioning head tilt he apologised. “Ah, of course! Sorry, that’s Swiss there.” He pointed to the newly summoned multi ghoul. Swiss poked a hand out of his blanket and waves, still grinning. “He was summoned only a few minutes before you were.” He continued pointing out and naming all of the ghouls in the room, there are so many more than Rain originally thought he saw, too caught up in being pulled up to a different world, he supposed.
After explaining the basics to Rain—introducing him to his new pack, laying out the exact purpose of his summoning, what his role will be if he chooses to accept it—Papa smiled and pat him on the back. “I think that’s more than enough information for now though, hmm? Mountain, how about you take Rain to get settled in and Aether, you can do the same for Swiss?”
“Sounds perfect, Papa,” Mountain smiled, squeezing Rain from where his arm is still wrapped around his shoulder; Rain was back on his feet now, but Mountain never let him go properly, presumably still worried he wouldn’t remain steady on his feet once he’d started to walk around the room.
“C’mon, Rain.” He began to wrap a blanket identical to Swiss’ around Rain’s shoulders. It was much warmer than it looked. “I’ll show you around the den and the grounds if you’re feeling up to it.”
Rain nodded. “That sounds nice, thanks, Mountain.”
Mountain smiled and Rain had just enough time to notice that one of his front teeth had a tiny chip in it. He squeezed his arm around Rain just hard enough to pull him closer to the earth ghoul and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head. Rain blushed “Cool! Alright, we’ve got a lot to cover. We should head off now before it gets too late.”
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2
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It had been a few weeks since Rain had been summoned now and he could happily say he was settling into life at the Ministry well. He was learning the parts for his music with Dew’s help and everyone said he and Swiss—who was taking his singing and guitar lessons from Dew, Aether and Papa— were progressing nicely. He wasn’t even the newest summon anymore! Two air ghoulettes had been summoned about a week after he and Swiss and they seemed to be adjusting well too. The four of them—Rain, Swiss, Cirrus and Cumulus—had become a group of their own of sorts. It wasn’t as if they didn’t spend time with the others, of course they did, but it was nice that the four of them were able to bond over being fresh to Earth and not understanding certain human customs that had evolved since the last time they’d all been Up Top when they were human.
He’d been settling into his chores now as well. His favourite, without a doubt, was helping Mountain in the greenhouses and gardens on the Abbey’s grounds. All he had to do was water the plants and regulate the humidity, but he was able to write off a whole day just to sit and talk with Mountain while he worked. Occasionally he’d lend a hand, but more often than not, Mountain insisted that Rain need not do anything but sit there and be good company for him.
His favourite day by far had been when he’d been helping the earth ghoul to weed and mulch his flower beds. The two of them had become covered in soil, roots and mulching hay and had ended the day by running off to the lake to clean themselves off, whooping with laughter the entire time. Before they’d run off to the lake however, Mountain had reached out a hand to brush a patch of dirt off of Rain’s cheek, no doubt leaving an equally dirty smudge behind in his wake but Rain didn’t mind. Especially when what had followed the brushing off was a quick, shy peck of Mountain’s lips on his cheek. The earth ghoul had come close enough for Rain to appreciate the light dusting of freckles covering his face from all his days working in the gardens, particularly concentrated on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Rain wanted to christen every single one with a kiss as gentle as the one Mountain had just given his cheek but before he could do so, the earth ghoul had pulled back and with a grin.
“Race you to the lake, raindrop,” he’d called. “Last one there is on dinner duty for a week!”
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3
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The few weeks after that had passed in a whirlwind of activity. Rain was busy every single day. Between taking on a few extra duties for a week or two as a favour for Zephyr after they’d been sequestered away to the infirmary and practising all the new songs he’d learnt on his bass at every single spare moment, he was running on empty. It was no surprise to anyone but Rain when he got sick.
“You were exhausted, waterlily,” Mountain explained gently as he stirred the bowl of soup he’d brought Rain to help cool it down. “You need to give your body and your mind space to relax from all the stress you’re putting yourself under. Open up?”
“I can feed myself, Mount,” Rain protested, keeping his mouth firmly closed.
“I know you can. But I want to help, so open.”
Rain rolled his eyes playfully as he opened his mouth for Mountain to spoon the soup into, holding back a sigh of pleasure as the warm soup soothed his scratchy throat.
“You need to find something you can do that lets you relax and release the stress of the day off of your shoulders,” Mountain explained, quickly putting a finger over Rain’s lips when he opened his mouth to protest. “Eat with your mouth closed, love,” he teased. Rain didn’t like to admit the butterflies that hearing the pet name in Mountain’s voice gave him, but it felt nice. “I know you have your bass, but at the moment it’s also stressing you out. It’s understandable, of course with the tour coming up soon, you want to be the best you can be before we head off.” Curse Mountain for always somehow knowing what Rain was going to say. “But at the moment it’s only going to make you worse if you’re stressing yourself out enough that you’re getting sick and unable to practise.”
Rain opened his mouth to protest again but this time, instead of telling him to be quiet, Mountain shut him up by putting another spoon of soup in his mouth, that bastard.
“Zephyr’s back from the infirmary soon though,” he mused. “So hopefully you’ll have less work to stress you out, but,” he continued. “If Zephyr’s still not up to doing everything when you’re better, you will ask someone to help you. A load meant for two people on top of practising for the tour isn’t sustainable or healthy for you, Rain. Can you promise me that?”
Rain nodded and quickly swallowed his mouthful of soup. “I promise, Mount. And… thank you for taking care of me.”
“Always,” Mountain smiled. “Are you sure you can manage feeding yourself the soup? I’m happy to stay if you need help,” he teased.
“I think I’ll be fine, thanks,” Rain grinned. You spooned those few mouthfuls perfectly though.”
Mountain laughed. “Good to know my skills aren’t going unappreciated.” He leant down and pressed a soft kiss to Rain’s forehead. His lips were surprisingly cool against Rain’s boiling head. “Call me if you need me for anything, alright? Any time of day and I’ll come running to help.” He got up off the side of Rain’s bed and flicked his bedside lamp on, flicking the overhead light off on his way to the door. Rain hadn’t even realised how the harsh light had been affecting him until Mountain turned it off. “Get well soon, Rainy,” he smiled, closing the door on his way out.
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4
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A few days after Rain recovered from his illness, he found himself back in the greenhouses, chatting the afternoon away with Mountain. Despite his offers to help, Mountain insisted that Rain just relax and not worry.
“I asked Mist to come in this morning and help with the humidity,” he explained. “You’ve met her, right? Oh, good! Either way, it’s all sorted, Rainy. Don’t worry about anything other than giving yourself time to rest.”
Rain had just nodded, secretly pleased for this time that he could spend with Mountain, free from chores and practice and responsibilities. It was autumn now and the leaves around the Ministry were turning every possible hue of orange, yellow and red. As well as this—and arguably more exciting in Rain’s eyes—Mountain’s army of caterpillars were beginning to emerge from their chrysalides as butterflies and flutter around the greenhouses. More than once, Rain had become somewhat of a butterfly magnet, with many of them landing on him after he’d sat still for a long enough period of time.
“Have you ever heard of butterfly kisses?”
Mountain’s voice was enough to startle both Rain and the butterfly that had found a perch on his finger. “Butterfly huh?” Was all the water ghoul could manage as he caught his breath from the unexpected fright.
“Butterfly kisses,” Mountain repeated. “They’re called that because it’s supposed to feel like butterfly wings caressing your skin.”
Rain tilted his head. The earth ghoul was so much less subtle than he thought himself to be. “I don’t think I get it,” he said, knowing full well the smirk on his face gave away that he understood exactly what Mountain meant. “Can you show me?”
Mountain grinned and nodded. “Give me your arm?” Rain obliged. “All I do is bring your arm up to my face,” he explained as he mimicked his words. “Then I get my eyes really close and blink, like that.”
Rain squirmed. “Ah, no, that tickles, Mount!”
The earth ghoul pouted exaggeratedly. “Do you think it will tickle on your face?”
Rain almost snorted. “You’re really not coming across as innocent as you wish you were, Mount,” he laughed. “But sure, go ahead, butterfly boy. Kiss me.”
Mountain obliged, moving even closer to the water ghoul, letting his breath ghost over his cheeks before fluttering his eyelashes over the soft skin there. His breath was warm but it soothed the tickle of his eyelashes enough that Rain didn’t have to squirm away. Although he’s not sure that he would have moved anyway, even if it had rendered him to a tickle-avoidant mess. He treasures his time with Mountain too much.
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5
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The night before the band goes away on tour is always cause for a big celebration, Mountain told him. This year, the Ministry is hosting a grand ball complete with fancy clothes—which is apparently just another way to say formal clothes, not fancy dress like Rain had hoped—and formal dances. The ghouls and Papa are all attending together and Mountain had already promised to stay with Rain for most of the night, not that Rain needed babysitting, but Sathanas, if he had to talk to an enormous room full of people for hours on end then he needed someone with him, if only to make sure he didn’t rip someone’s throat out if they tried to engage in yet another round of small talk with him.
It’s safe to say that Rain had… well, perhaps blossomed is the right word, in the few months since he’d been summoned. He was definitely more comfortable in telling people to fuck off before he killed them, at least. After a few months of trying to play the role of a human, he was finally growing more comfortable in presenting himself as the demonic hell beast he was.
A sudden hand on his shoulder interrupted his musings and made him jump.
“Sorry, raincloud,” Mountain soothed. “It’s just me.”
“How goeth the search for drinks, my dear sir?” Rain joked, recalling Dew’s complaints that these events always felt stuffy and overly formal, like those renaissance movies he pretends to hate.
“Alas, loyal comrade,” Mountain replied, playing along. “Lady Cumulus snatched them from mine own hand whilst I was returning to you with my spoils.” He got down on one knee and threw his hands up in the air. “How will you ever forgive me?”
Rain threw his head back laughing. “I’m sure I’ll survive, Mount. Now get up off the floor, you’re going to ruin your pants and Aether’s going to yell at you if he has to sew on another knee patch for you.”
“I’ll just ask Cirrus then,” Mountain retorted, obeying Rain all the same. “I’m still in her good books.”
“Nope. I think they’re conspiring against you. Remember last time you asked her to mend something she never gave it back?” He nudged the earth ghoul with his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure the two of them are convinced that if they slowly steal your clothes over time, eventually you’ll give up on wearing them altogether.”
“I– What?” Mountain spluttered. “If they want to see me naked they could just ask.”
“Yeah but they’re freaky,” Rain stage whispered. “They wanna make it happen…”
Mountain blushed, no doubt thinking of all the ways he could make it happen more quickly. Luckily for his sake, music soon began to trickle through the mingling crowds, inviting them all to begin dancing. How the Ministry got the speaker system to work so well, Rain would never know. Maybe they had hundreds hidden all throughout the ballroom?
His train of thought was interrupted by Mountain returning to their earlier game of jest, bowing low and holding out his hand. “Lord Rain of the-bedroom-right-down-the-hallway-from-me.” Rain couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up inside him from that. “May I please have this dance?”
He placed his hand in Mountain’s. “You may, Lord Mountain,” he smiled, thrilled when the earth ghoul bent down even further to kiss the back of his hand, stomach fluttering when he refused to break eye contact until his lips broke contact with Rain’s hand. “Come,” he announced, shifting his grip on Mountain’s hand to be able to hold it more normally. “Let us dance.”
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+ 1
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The tour bus is alive with energy. They’re only a few hours into their journey but all of them are buzzing with a mixture of nerves and excitement, even if all they’re doing is chatting amongst themselves quietly.
Swiss’ legs are currently thrown over Rain’s lap, the two of them gossiping quietly about their various hookups since being summoned. Rain is ninety percent sure Cumulus is listening in on their conversation but he doesn’t mind, she was the one who taught him how to do that thing with his tongue he was just explaining to Swiss.
“So…” Swiss leans in close and glances around furtively. The multi ghoul can never resist an opportunity for some dramatic flair. “When did you and Mountain hookup?”
“Me and Mount?” Rain asks, surprised. “We haven’t.”
Swiss sighs. “You don’t have to lie to me, Rainy, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I was just telling you all the ways Dew made me cry for him, I think we’re past the point of shame, rainbow.”
“I’m telling you the truth! We haven’t…”
“Oh, but you want to.” It’s not a question, it doesn’t need to be one.
“Of course I do, have you fucking seen him?”
“Have you fucking seen his dick?” Swiss leans in close and uses his hands to measure an obscene length. There’s no way he’s telling the truth. “Fucking huge, Rainy, it’s insane.”
Rain whines. “Don’t tease me, Swiss, fuck.”
“Fine, fine,” Swiss relents. “But you’ve at least kissed right? I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, there’s no way that nothing’s happened between you.”
“I mean… kind of?” Rain replies. “We’ve kissed but not… y’know, on the lips or anything?”
Swiss’ eyes feel like they’re boring a hole into his soul. When he speaks, his voice is deadpan. “Are you fucking shitting me, Rainy.”
“No?”
Swiss looks like he’s about to scream.
Aether’s voice calls out from his game of cards with Dew. “Swiss, are you alright back there?”
“No, I’m dying, Aeth,” Swiss yells back at the same time as Rain says: “He’s fine, he’s just being a dramatic prick.”
“What’s all this about a dramatic prick?” Mountain grins as he takes a seat next to Rain.
“Mountain!” Swiss says, moving forward fast as lightning to grab the earth ghoul by the collar of his shirt. “Why the fuck haven’t you kissed Rain yet, it’s killing me, Mount. You hear me?” He shakes Mountain back and forth violently. “Kill. Ing. me.”
“I’ve kissed him,” Mountain says simply, miraculously unperturbed by the seemingly wild multi ghoul shaking him around.
Swiss pulls him even closer before releasing him. “Show me.”
Mountain sighs and looks over at Rain for permission but he’s smiling and his smile is always so infectious that Rain can’t help mimic it the second he sees it pulling at the earth ghoul’s lips.
“I’ve kissed him here,” Mountain starts, kissing the top of Rain’s head. “And here, and here,” he continues, brushing gentle kisses over Rain’s cheek and forehead in mimicry of those events that feel like they happened a lifetime ago. “Then I gave him butterfly kisses all over his face.” Rain scrunches up his eyes to combat the gentle tickling sensation that Mountain’s eyelashes are spreading across his face. “And last night I kissed his hand, like this.” This time it’s Rain who offers the hand out first, Mountain taking gladly and holding eye contact the entire time, exactly like the previous night. “But you’re right, Swiss. There is one spot I’ve missed.” He takes Rain’s face in his hands, cradling it gently in his hands. Mountain barely has to open his mouth to ask before Rain is nodding vigorously and surging forward to connect their lips together with an elated sigh.
It doesn’t take much for Mountain to deepen the kiss and pull Rain onto his lap and as soon as he does, Swiss is whooping and running up and down the length of the bus singing praises. Rain leans back to take a breather just in time to see Dew yank Swiss down to sit with him and Aether, telling him to get a hold on himself. Rain doesn’t miss the way Dew smirks when Aether presses a wad of cash into his hand, sighing in defeat.
“I think they were betting on us,” he whispers against Mountain’s lips, resting their foreheads together as they both take a breather.
“Oh, they definitely were,” the earth ghoul confirms. “I heard Cumulus and Dew negotiating terms weeks ago. Droplet may have just won that money from Aether but he’s going to have to give it all to Lus now because we kissed on the bus, not just before we left the Abbey.”
Rain laughs in disbelief. “You sly bastard,” he huffs out. “Did you wait to kiss me just so Dew wouldn’t win the bet?”
“Yep,” Mountain admits proudly. “What?” He asks when he sees Rain shaking his head and laughing. “You didn’t expect me to let Lus lose, did you?”
“Of course not, Mount,” Rain assures him. “I’m far too scared of her.”
Mountain hums in agreement. “She’s fucking terrifying, I do not need to be on her bad side. Forgive me?”
“Hmm,” Rain teases. “I’m not sure… Kiss me again and we’ll see?”
#mushy may#day twenty one !!#rain ghoul#mountain ghoul#swiss ghoul#everyone from era iv is mentioned at least once#nameless ghouls#the band ghost#husband ficlets
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I always thought Stupid Cupid would be on the same level as Red Velvet in terms of popularity! In your opinion which real group would you assign for your fic groups in those terms?
AINE ! ⠀ › ⠀ SAYS. omg you're being too nice anon!! i think red velvet is wayyy up the scale when looking at stupid cupid's popularity– took me a hot second to cook something up, but under the cut, you'll find all of my important groups / ocs ( including both npc & under co. groups! ) and their popularity based on irl kpop groups!
first, we have lilypad, aka the saviours of glasshouse! i'd definitely say that they're on par with kara! they've been releasing bops from the getgo, and have been doing so until their unfortunate ( or fortunate in this case ) disbandment, so kara would be the best group to mention in this case, especially when back in 2009, glasshouse only had crumbs and a handful of trainees to go with.
next on the list is raevil, aka the dead women walking! raevil = twice, and you can't prove me wrong!! the fact that each member comes from a different country just goes well with the public ( international more than domestic, bc we all know how knetz are about these types of things ), and they for sure know how to charm people to at least listen to their songs occasionally. their popularity grew as time passed, so raevil being on the same scale as twice right now would be a plausible answer!
sorry to disappoint you, anon, but stupid cupid's popularity goes lower than red velvet's– i'd say ive or kepler would be more of an appropriate answer, especially because everyone can clearly see the favouritism in stcp ( looking at tomie ). it's a good thing that their discography is full of mostly cute songs, otherwise, i don't think stupid cupid would've been supported this much if it their concept was anything else... i imagine them being compared to lilypad a lot if they had a different concept, and they'd kind of flop. yeah, their fandom is definitely smaller compared to raevil's, but they have some crazy ass fans out there ( think orbits during that twitter era )–
at the beginning of their career, i surely saw paradox invasion go hand in hand with stray kids based on popularity, especially because prdx had a different concept from any other artists from the company, were their first bg and they were promoted a lot during their pre-debut era by stupid cupid. however, after the whole scandal happened with one of the members and they went on a hiatus for a year, the hype kind of died down, so now i'd say they're kinda like monsta x / the boyz!
hero is 4th generation's taemin! of course, his popularity slowly grew as he went through a shitty survival show, but once he actually debuted as a soloist, the fandom significantly grew, and it's still growing as time goes by. there's a reason why he's called an all-round and ace of kpop! although, if you asked him, he'd deny being that popular, but the receipts don't lie, nor do his album sales that get sold out after every comeback!
and last but definitely not least, we have crystyle! && just like everyone expected, i imagine them to have the same popularity as got the beat! they also have some similarities; as they're both project groups with members from different groups ( or are soloists ), so saying they have the same popularity as got would be true. not only that, but each member has their own fandom that just combined in the end to support the girls as a group!
and that's it ( for now )! come back later if there are any updates to this~
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Hey im not good with words or english, but its ok to feel burnt out or tired. Youre not obligated to provide anything to us. You are an author who writes for free. Maybe to have fun maybe to express yourself. You have your own life and thats a good thing. I havent been playing genshin in a while because theres so much work i need to do there like building characters. I havent watched link click s2 because i cant bring myself to sit down for that long. Im sure everyone has something like this happening to them and i just remind myself that it doesnt matter that much. Post unfinished things, make your character builds crap, dont finish a book youve started it doesntmatter. Its about having fun. Its about forgetting your problems(at least for me) or its about spending time with your online friends. Taking a break is necessary. Spending time for yourself is necessary. Taking care of yourself is necessary. I hope i could get my message across. I cant even take my own advice seriously as im too scared to post this without anon but i hope i was able to make you feel better somehow. I also want to say i really love your works even if i dont know who the person you’re writing about is. Ive been following your works for a while and i dont regret it one bit. I would be pretty sad if you were to stop writing for certain people but if it makes you feel happy then i dont mind and im sure others wouldn’t mind it as well. Youre free to do whatever you want ( as long as youre not intruding on other peoples freedom obviously) thank you for reading my wordvomit written in an attempt to comfort you.
dearie anon,
to have you in my inbox is already a blessing enough for me. thank you so much for taking the time of your day to cheer me up, you have no idea how much this means to me (brb crying i dont deserve you sob)
first of all, your message got across. i'm not sure about your english being not good part, but really, your message resonates with me on a level deeper than language can ever explain, truly.
i appreciate your kind reminder that i shouldn't feel obliged to write for anyone. i honestly feel like it's eating me out because i put myself in the equation as well. i had been a writer before, back when tokyo revengers (anime) was still in its first season since i'm more of a manga reader. if you were in that era, you might came across my work. alas, things happened. what used to be good memories (including writing) turned into very hurtful ones and i stopped doing what i love because they're causing me so much pain. nonetheless, i still slowly died inside. it took me a while to be at peace with my past and understand that writing is what makes me the person i am. so i'm determined to start again and keep it up. but when life gets in the way and hold me back from writing (again), it depresses me. (including not playing genshin). honestly, i'm feeling lonely. what and who i used to know and love seemed to only exist in the past. people moved on, topics became irrelevant, relationship broke. which i don't blame, but it still makes me cry once in a while.
sorry for the traumadump uh- i feel like i should explain myself a little. i hope that didn't scare you too much. but anyway, you're right! i should do whatever i want. maybe i need to reframe my perspective. i love that you mention about reading book thingy because i have the same issue and yes, i'm a reader through and through. but it's been so long since i read.. the irony. maybe all i need to do is start. and love myself a bit more to stop torturing myself with unnecessary thoughts..
you know what anon? i love the past me. i dont remember exactly what i love about her, but she used to be so at peace. i'm trying to find my way back to her, and i think you're helping me set my way there, so thank you. i dont know about your problems, but if you're willing to share, i'm more than happy to listen. don't forget to take care of yourself too okay? i hope your days ahead are the loveliest yet!
also, thank you for appreciating my works! when i started writing again, i told myself and whoever that's willing to take the time of their day to consume my content that i don't need anyone's attention or approval (shadowban be damned. if it happens, it happens). i did it solely for myself. but god knows how much your kind words and others' fill up the spaces in my heart.
i'm not going to ask anything from my works. your support is something i could never repay, but i'll always appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
(btw yes, you did send this on anon hehe i got a hunch on who you might be but if you prefer to keep it a secret, then rest assured, your secret is safe with me!)
#no seriously anon#are you an angel????#also link click 2 is a pain to watch#please take your time to watch it#thank you once again anon for sending me this ilysm mwah mwah mwah!!#yoru's mailbox
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YES YUNHO’S PCS LOOK SO GOOD LIKE I SWEARRRR but yikes some pcs have like a green screen background and it’s NOT the vibe ✋😭
Also can I get confirmation of like the current hair colors/styles of the members rn cause I keep forgetting what they’re supposed to be and imagine them as possibly diff ones LIFNKDNS like rn in my mind their hair is like:
Hongjoong - B&W hair (IK ITS LIKE SUPER RECENT BUT I THINK IT JUST SUITS HIM SUPER WELL WITH HIS PERSONALITY RN LIKE ARGH BUT IIRC ITS SUPPOSED TO BE MULLETHONG??)
Seonghwa - Pink (Another semi-recent one but XR show Seonghwa with the Pink hier in the halateez outfit is stuck in my mind 😩)
Yunho - Blue (From the wave era! Tbh I don’t remember what hair color he’s supposed to have rn but I think it was black/brown??)
Yeosang - DEJA VU ERA LETS GOOOO (Yeosang’s lowkey superior hair idc idc-)
San - Answer era (NEVER FIRGET THIS SAN AGHHH)
Mingi - It’s orange that’s fs, that one I remember clearly LMAO
Wooyoung - Two-toned WOOOOOOO (I also remember that he’s supposed to have his wave era navy/purple hair but I actively forget that 💖)
Jongho - Red hair Jongho aka his superior color 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️
Ik I’m like way off for some but still want to know more clearly what they’re supposed to be so I don’t have to scour for them on my 16th or so re-read 😭😭
- Love, 🍓 anon!
okay fr im glad im not the only one thinking that about the greenscreen pcs LKFDJS:KDFJ like ... who decided that was a good idea ... hello82 pls explain ... (update on my albums: i.... may or may not... have snatched 2 signed copies of z ver from the hello82 restock after lamenting over missing the original drop and ... the answer rly manifested the signatures bc. seonghwa and mingi. LASKJDFKALSJDF i did cry. im looking at them rn like... FLSKDJF:LKSDJ ANYWAYS as for pcs i finally pulled a yunho and jongho and with that ive pulled everyone at least once with only one (1) dupe so basically im ballin)
BUT YES ABSOLUTELY HAIR UPDATE !!!
im gonna be completely for real w you rn and say that hongjoong and mingi and seonghwa are the only ones i knew this off the top of my head for LMAO i had to reference my ... character slideshow ... thing ... that i originally created to show my best friend My Vision for the answer LOL but fr yall are free to see them however you so please! this was my vision:
hongjoong - okay. so i definitely see where you're coming from w the split dye and it definitely fits the character and i support it. but yes. the mullet <3
seonghwa - pink would be so funny w his character so i love the vision fr LSKDJFL but ive always thought the fucking wonderland bang (the bay-yang if you will.) was so funny so that's how i picture him LMAOOOO
yunho - blue hair on yunho >>>>>>>> anything else. inspiration for my url even. but yes hehe i have it down as his answer era hair so brown :]
yeosang - i just went back to chapter 7 to see if i mentioned his hair at all bc i was so ready to make deja vu yeosang canon rn in this moment BUT I DIIIIDDD AKSDJFAS;LKFDJAS he's blonde. but maybe he'll mysteriously dye his hair 🤔🤔🤔
san - ... okay rereading ch 6 i think i was describing his wonderland hair with the blonde underneath which ... long hair on san > but i also support answer san very much and they're quite close hairstyles so... yeah !
mingi - yes :]
wooyoung - yes its the wave hair LMAOOOOO forget that i reminded you <3
jongho - yes again ! absolutely have to agree w you on that one (the fact that when i began writing the answer when it was fireworks era and that was jongho's current hair ... my god ... where does time go ...)
BUT YEAH ALKDJFASLKDJ really just see them how you naturally picture them hehehe don't strain yourself reading but thank you sm again as always for doing so hehehe :] ily <3 <3
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Sannin headcanons and thoughts
The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central
This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.
Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.
1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.
2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).
3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.
4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.
5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.
6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..
7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.
8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.
9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.
10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.
11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.
12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe
13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen
ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.
14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).
15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.
16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.
17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.
18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).
19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.
20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".
21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.
22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.
23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).
24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.
25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.
26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao
27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.
28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi
29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways
30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.
Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.
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Every once in a while I’m not in the mood to write fiction...
Sometimes I like to do literary analysis for funsies, or, surprisingly enough thanks to the content of this post, music analysis as well.
When I first watched Guardian, there was one song that stood out to me more than most of the others from the OST. It was always used in the scenes with more emotional weight, and was so haunting that it lingered in my mind long after the scene had passed. Once I was able to hunt the soundtrack down on Amazon (a feat that was much more difficult than it should have been imho) I came to learn that this song was actually Shen Wei’s theme. Shen Wei’s theme was in all of the emotionally hard hitting scenes and haunted me for long after the show had finished.
One day I was driving to work and I was just looping it over and over for my entire commute. It’s an hour long commute ya’ll. Just that song, over and over and over (and I’ve played it for several hours on a loop before and I have no doubt I will do it for many more times to come, this song is beautiful and haunting and I love it to death). As I listened I started to make some realizations, and as those realizations came to light it left me even more heartbroken than originally.
The Shen Wei OST is a perfect character journey. It tells his story in a way that words simply could not come close to. I’ve tried to sum up my best analysis of this song and what it means, and I’m sure I don’t even come close to what Luo Kun intended when he composed the song, but I hope that he would at least agree I have parts of it right.
I’m going to put the actual analysis beneath a “Read More” so please, drop me a line if you like what you read or if you want to discuss it further. I’d love to chat about this! It’s broken up into five distinct movements that I think relate to different points in Shen Wei’s life, and I should mention that this is looking at the character purely from the perspective of the drama. At some point I might go back and see if I can tie it into the novel at all, but that has not been taken into consideration here.
I’d like to state above the cut that my thanks go out to @elvencantation and @eirenical for looking over my initial drafts and giving me their opinions and helping with musical instrument identification. I might come back and clean this up someday, but for right now, I wanted to get something out there for everyone to read. I hope that you enjoy it.
Part I. Gege (0:00 - 0:35)
There is a very melancholy feel to the song, but it also has the quiet grace and strength that the audience can always associate with Shen Wei. This is the beginning of his journey though. This is a young boy caring for his brother. A boy who tries to protect and is cast aside, thrown down to the dirt, and returns too late to save the one remaining person still precious to him. The beginning of this song paints the picture of a solitary figure against the horizon, short in stature from age and inexperience, a blade much too big gripped in too small a hand. The piano solo here emphasizes his lone search for his brother and hoping against all hopes that he might one day find him and the two of them could be reunited.
Part II. Xiao Wei (0:36 - 1:08)
At 37 seconds in the strings make their entrance. I like to think it was a deliberate choice to have Zhao Yunlan pick up the violin during the Tan Xiao and Zheng Yi case, because I firmly believe the strings in this soundtrack are supposed to represent Zhao Yunlan just as the piano represents Shen Wei. These 32 seconds represent the Shen Wei that we see during episodes 34 and 35 in Ye Olde Haixing Era. A bright eyed energetic young warrior who cares about his men despite his position. He hides his fear behind a mask, under a hood, and does what he can to help in the war. But here is also when Kunlun arrives. A famous general who miraculously takes an interest in HIM. And what has he done to warrant such attention? The kindness that he is shown here helps to shape him, mold him into a stronger warrior, a stronger person, but it will be millennia before he will learn why Kunlun saw him for the person he was rather than the blade and power he wielded.
The strings here do not try to overwhelm the piano here, even though they easily could. Instead they seem to try to entwine with the notes from the piano and guide them. It’s a graceful dance between the two that represents the close partnership that Shen Wei and Kunlun shared during the war.
Part III. The Black Cloak Envoy (1:09 - 1:39)
This part of the song is particularly interesting to me. The piano is still present, but the tune has changed, the same for the strings, but now the sounds of a woodwind have joined the other two. It’s at this point Shen Wei has woken up after 10,000 years. He’s thrust into a new world that he must learn, and a Dixing that is far worse off than he ever imagined it would be. He is a legend, but he does not try to take power. His duty is still his to fulfill, but he does not seek to take power aside from that. This is the new life that he forges for himself, from who he was as a boy, to who Kunlun helped him become, but this is something he creates to survive in a world that is unfamiliar to him.
Now he is not needed as just a blade, although he will be that when it is necessary. Now he can pursue his love and inherent gift for learning. This is the man who emerges from the ground and takes up bioengineering as a field of study. This is the person who befriends Cheng Xinyan and probably has more than one or two study sessions with her. This is the college student that I’m sure was dragged to at least one karaoke night to blow off some steam, and may have discovered his aversion to alcohol that same night. This is someone who lived.
Part IV. Professor Shen (1:40 - 2:11)
The woodwind fades out and we are left with the string and the piano once more. The string though is more like the tide, pushing and pulling against the piano, but that is very fitting for the section of the song, and Shen Wei’s life, that Zhao Yunlan is introduced into. The strings surge forth and ease back, pushing Shen Wei for answers, but also easing back when he seems ready to break. The piano has returned to its tune from the first two movements, and it’s probably due to the uncertainty that Zhao Yunlan has brought into his life. Why has Kunlun suddenly reappeared and why is he acting like he doesn’t know who Shen Wei is? Why does Da Qing not remember him? In the face of these questions he retreats to who he was before, until he can determine what the best course of action to take is. If Kunlun is testing him or doesn’t remember too he doesn’t want to risk the chance that the man will not recognize him. This could be why we see the fond smiles and confused blinks, aspects that are so inherent to his character.
Part V. Shen Wei (2:12 - End)
I’m not going to lie, it was coming up with this part that really broke my heart. The strings remain, but fade to the background and are only faintly known. The piano has returned, and is at the forefront once more with no question as to who the lead is. Through all the changes in his life, he has come to realize who he truly is. He is a brother who is afraid he has failed his twin. A warrior and leader afraid he has failed his people. A man afraid that he will lose everything, but willing to make that sacrifice to save his friends and family, to keep the man he loves safe. He is no longer just a blade to be used. He has a purpose, one that has not been forced on him but that he has chosen for himself.
This is the Shen Wei who decides to use the light energy from Zhao Yunlan to make himself a living bomb. The man who decides that if his brother cannot be made to stand down then he will force him to. This is the man who looks into the eyes of his lover as he lays bloodied and broken on the ground, who sees all that they could have had in their lives, and silently begs forgiveness even as he makes the ultimate sacrifice.
And then the song fades out with the slowing piano notes, just as Shen Wei’s life ends with the slowed beating of his heart...
#guardian#zhen hun#镇魂 guardian#shen wei#zhao yunlan#kunlun#weilan#black cloak envoy#hei pao shi#caitlin analyzes stuff and things#caitlin also makes herself sad doing it#caitlin makes great life choices
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breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )
ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11
tw for i^cest and r^pe
he was with a married man
in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store
“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “
that is a quote from that part.
ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child
ian wasnt open with lip
“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”
no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.
in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’
like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting
back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping
he secretly dated his best friends brother
“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”
the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey
he stood by as kash attacked mickey
“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”
okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him
now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic
oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE
he and lip tried framing terry milkovich
oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?
yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s
he dated jimmy-steves married father
“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”
at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that
he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian
he stole lips identity to enlist in the army
he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar
“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”
this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic
ian refused to accept being bipolar
of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it
“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”
okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,
my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )
she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry
my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time
he wasnt faitful to mickey
“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”
lets break that down.
ians. bipolar. disorder.
this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out
ian stole yevgeny
before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own
“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”
cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’
he cant even keep count of his number of partners
just slutshaming i see
he helped throw frank off a bridge
“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”
‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent
also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb
he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey
he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do
he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist
he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )
he tried blackmailing an old client for money
“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”
because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place
“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”
because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth
he let fame inflate his ego
of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail
also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help
“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”
as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board
he stopped taking his meds
see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’
he actually wanted to stay in prison
because he was doing good in there
ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual
he let down his army of followers
“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”
he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health
during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control
he constantly wasted his potential
this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with
his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great
“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”
he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day
“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”
yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him
“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”
back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous
“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”
he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life
“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”
no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically
that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry
now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes
actual valid reasons ian sucks
genuinely believes frank is worse than terry
yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,
mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards
terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist
frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )
sorry ian , terry is worse
never apologized
he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him
never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’
debbies sexuality
he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?
in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me
mickey only getting like 80% of his heart
okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him
and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about
obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind
—
before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him
like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly
now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian
—
if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)
feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol
thanks for letting me rant
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here’s our bus route map for my bus ride! (masterlist!)
here’s the original event post :)
HI EVERYONE!! i just wanted to thank you all for your participation BECAUSE AAAAAA YOU GUYS DELIVERED AND UGH I WAS LITERALLY SO WORRIED NOBODY WAS GONNA WRITE ANYTHING BUTSJFLKFASDF
ALL OF YOU ARE SO TALENTED OKAY??? LIKE BYE I WAS BLOWN AWAY
I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EVENT HEHEHE I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO SO MUCH!! AND THE FACT THAT YOU SPENT TIME ON THIS EVENT 😭😭MWAH MWAHH
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 400!! MUCH LOVE AND HUGS AND KISSES :D
ALSO SORRY AHHA THIS WAS POSTED SO LATE
WE IGNORE HOW IT’S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO GET FROM LA TO LONDON VIA BUS JKDFJKFJK
here’s how i formatted it!
title- author’s @!
pairing
genre
warnings
word count
their summary that they made
-> my review!
let’s take a look at our map...
starting from LA, heading to bilbao! we’ll stop along the bus stops on our way!
and yes im aware that the route is going in a weird, illogical way if bilbao is our last stop, shush i wasnt thinking when i made bilbao our last city KJDFJKS
masterlist under the cut!!
now arriving at... los angeles, California!
-> write an AU!! the AU can be literally anything: royalty AU? road trip AU? GO FOR IT!! just as long as it’s not in the canon era hehehe
first stop... “something only the stars know” - @luvoratomi
pairing: suna rintarou x gn!reader
genre: secret relationship au, royal au, crown prince!suna, knight!reader, established relationship, fluff, angst
word count: 544
their summary: in which you and crown prince, suna rintarou, find comfort in each other’s arms underneath the moonlight, where only the stars are witnesses of your love.
-> my review: um. nayru. OKAY IM CONSTANTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR TALENT AND THIS IS NO EXCEPTION. i dont even KNOW who rintarou is but im in love with him. ALSO I DONT THINK IVE EVER READ A ROYAL AU BUT KLASDFJ THIS WAS SO?? WELL?? WRITTEN?? ive reread it at LEAST 5 times.
next stop... an untitled zombie au from @eunoianthia
pairing: yamaguchi tadashi x female!reader
genre: zombie au, angst :)
warnings: a lot of angst, death, a bit of gore?
word count: 1.1k
their summary: going to Los Angeles was a dream, and you were finally achieving it. It’s like a dream come true, going to Los Angeles and your boyfriend tagging along? What could go wrong?
-> my review: OKAY WAIT THIS IS THE FIRST ZOMBIE AU IVE EVER READ. like EVER. AND WHAT I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO HURT THIS MUCH. i- the ending- PLEASE I- i dont even know what to say. how COULD YOU.
now arriving at... 3:38 am from @arquitecturadelanada
pairing: zuko x fem!reader
genre: roommates au, i would say fluff!
warnings: none!
word count: 1.1k
their summary: As sokka’s best man zuko has to write a heartfelt speech for the wedding day, the only issue? he doesn’t believe in love, but maybe his roommate can change his perception on the matter.
-> my review: so youre saying this whole time youve been supporting my writing when YOU WRITE BETTER THAN I DO?? ugh you’re so talented this isn’t funny, and this fic ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO BECOME AN ATLA BLOG AGAIN BAHHA- “he noticed he was considerably less stressed just by hearing his roommate’s voice” IM GONNA CRY
last stop... “what are the odds” from @hikariakaashi
pairing: kuroo x fem!reader
genre: roommates au, i would say fluff!
warnings: none!
word count: 3.2k
their summary: it was an act of desperation, to say the least, downloading the app lev recommended for him. but he was in dire need of a wedding date. so when kuroo opened up the brightly colored app titled rent a girlfriend, he knew he was in for an interesting evening.
-> my review: so uh 1) i remember writing a review for this and i have no idea where it went IM SO SORRY DSKJFJ and 2) i would do anything for kuroo to be my bf even if it was just my job 😩😩 and 3) um ??? YOURE SO TALENTED?? MISS MA’AM??
now arriving at... london, england!
-> breakup fic time </3 you can make it an angsty breakup, or a fluffy exes to lovers!
first stop... “i love(d) you”- @floralkawa
pairing: tsukishima x reader!
genre: angst!
warnings: none!
word count: 300
their summary: one where tsukishima never showed his love. making it onesided, leading poor f/n on in a bitter relationship. of course, no one can handle it forever, can they ?
-> my review: this is the reason why i dont like angst. i felt this IN MY HEART, OKAY? NOELLE YOU LIED & SAID YOU COULDN’T WRITE FEELINGS. i hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT. but ugh youre talented enough to pull anything off and your angst is PROBABLY the only ones ill read willingly :(
next stop... “i should have seen the signs”- @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner
pairing: oikawa x reader!
genre: angst!
warnings: none!
word count: 2k
their summary: going to the city of love and london was supposed to be an exhilarating vacation after a long week of exams. as it seems, love is fake and so is toru oikawa.
-> my review: um. this kinda hurted me tho. how am i even allowed to be friends with you like ?? miss ma’am? YOURE SO TALENTED??? i hate angst and ill say it again: I HATE ANGST. IT HURTS IT HUUUURRTSS. OIKAWA MY BABY WOULD NEVER DO THAT BUT HE DID. I CANSTEALK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS
now arriving at... berlin, germany!
first stop... “Spring Chills”- @wesokkasimp
pairing: oikawa x reader!
genre: fluff!
warnings: none!
word count: 447
their summary: you and Oikawa go for a walk on a chilly spring day. beware: banter ahead
-> my review: 😐😑😐 my heart wasn’t prepared for this. AND!! I BET Y/N LOOKED GREAT IN THAT TANK TOP; OIKAWA BETTER HAVE GIVEN HIS JACKET TO HER AFTERWARDS. jacket + tank top = cute outfit smh
next up... “warm and fuzzy”- @oikawaplssteponme
pairing: kuroo x reader!
genre: fluff, a hint of angst, childhood friends to lovers, ‘boy next door’
warnings: one swear word, kuroo calls the reader ‘pretty’ however no gender pronouns are used, mini make out
word count: 1.4k
their summary: n/a but a quote: "The lights in your room were dim. Their golden-yellow tone shone above you, though you paid little attention to what was going on inside your room. You were much more interested in what was happening outside.”
-> my review: wait this actually reminds me of me and my front door neighbor GOODBYE AKLSJDF I MISS HIM :( ANYWAYS BAHHAHA- see you never miss 😐 i think awkward tetsu is underrated BYEALKSF THIS WAS SO CUTE I CANTASEKL
last stop... “ice cold”- @kyotarou
pairing: tsukishima x reader
genre: fluff!
warnings: bit of fanon tsukki, mutual pining, smidge of angst, fluff
word count: 700+
their summary: n/a but a quote: “Asshole was the best word to describe Tsukishima Kei. He was an asshole to his peers, and it didn’t change towards you, his best friend.”
-> my review: mY TSUKISHIMA HEART OMG- okay OKAY I THOUGHT I GREW OUT OF MY LOVE FOR HIM BUT ITS ALL COMING BACK ASLKJFDL- oh to share a jacket and be vulnerable with tsukishima ✋😩 once again bestie youre so talented it isnt funny
now arriving at... bilbao, spain!
our only stop in this city... "break-in”- @kohi-zeri
pairing: iwazumi x reader!
genre: fluff!!
warnings: mentions of food and common illnesses, use of “darling” and “brat”
word count: 1.4k
their summary: n/a but a quote: “there’s something so… infuriating about having a migraine. especially when it’s uncalled for.”
-> my review: i cant express to you how much i love sickfics. like JLSDFLJKFSALJ SADFL I CANT- ALSO I READ THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN I HAD THE WORST HEADACHE SO WHENEVER MY HEAD HURTS I COME REREAD THIS BAHAHHA-
here’s what some of our passengers are saying...
one passenger says “Wait. Stand right there, I want to take a picture of you.”
“pretty petals, pretty pictures”- @shxyo-sho
pairing: iwazumi x reader!
genre: fluff, mutual pining, just two best friends crushing on each other
warnings: none!
word count: 590
their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.
-> my review: repeat after me: kiyoko is a queen. and YOU DO HER JUSTICE I ASFDLKJ PLEASE- in all honesty i would be blushing if kiyoko said a word to me too- y/n you arent alone ✋😩
another passenger asks “Why aren’t you asleep?”
"night owl”- @atlabeth
pairing: sokka x reader!
genre: fluff!
warnings: stress over school and one (1) curse, but other than that it’s pure fluff
word count: 907
their summary: If you could describe your best friend, Kiyoko, in one word; what would it be? I would pick the word, flawless.
-> my review: alright this isnt fair where is my irl sokka 😐 YOURE BRINGING ME BACK INTO MY ATLA DAYSDF LKSJA- not complaining tho I LOVE SOKKA SO MUCH. and “But for a “fairly smart person”, you made a lot of bad decisions.” THATS TOO RELATABLE STOP IT RIGHT NOW SFKDJK
HEHEHEHEH THANK YOU AGAIN!! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG GOOD BYE
#morosis's 400 followers bus ride#morosis recommends#haikyuu!!#haikyuu angst#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#atla x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#atla fanfiction#haikyuu x y/n#atla x y/n
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Very New to your blog and the posts are probably way old but I saw you do Witcher Biology (??) rants sometimes and Id love to hear your take, if you have one, on what monsters (namely "naturally occurring" ones like draconids and insectoids) contribute to the ecosystem if anything and whether or not they should be hunted into extinction. I was discussing it w/ a friend last night after dealing with Iocaste, the last silver basilisk, and now its smthn I'm Invested in
re monster ecosystems: I just figure theyve probably found a niche in the world by now and can eat anything smaller incl. humans but because theyve got no natural predators aside from eachother and arent hunted by anything but witchers , monsters are just breeding and eating and wldnt that damage the land? or have they made their own like, circle of life or whatever ? Ive little knowledge on the subject as a whole but the whole thing intrigues me
hi & extremely belated welcome, anon! my apologies for the length of time you’ve been waiting for this answer; I had to think carefully about how I wanted to respond to this ask, because: there’s a lot going on here. also, because I am a disaster, I ended up posting it to ao3 first while I was avoiding tumblr for a spell and then completely forgot to come back. oops. i’m sorry!! This one’s about 5000 words long, which is a lot for tumblr, so reading on AO3 may be preferable.
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The two main thrusts of your first ask (how do monsters interact with the ecosystem and should they be eradicated from the Continent) are questions of invasion ecology, the study of non-native/invasive species and their effects on the environment. Monsters, having arrived on the Continent about 1200 years ago during the Conjunction of Spheres from entirely alien dimensions, are indeed technically non-native species!
However, invasion ecology is…somewhat controversial, to say the least—there are a lot of invasive species, who have a lot of different & complex impacts, and a lot of different ideas about what we might do about any of this, and it’s basically all arguing all the time, so I wasn’t really sure how I wanted to approach the topic. Not to mention that for reasons I couldn’t initially put my finger on, it seemed wrong to apply theories of invasion ecology to the Witcher monsters. We’ll get into it! There are also a couple of common misconceptions/oversimplifications of how ecology works in your second ask which I want to unpack. Hopefully I pulled this together into something that makes sense, and feel free to ask me for clarification!
Some important background facts:
Species have always been moving to and “invading” new places on their own; humans and globalization have accelerated this process into a Big Problem, as the sheer number of invasive species being introduced all over the globe strains ecosystems already under pressure, but “native ranges” are always shifting, sometimes more dramatically than you might expect. If you go far enough back in time, all species are “non-native”.
Because of this, the very definition of “invasive species” is hotly contested. This is why you’ll hear dozens of terms like introduced species, injurious species, naturalized species, non-native species, etc.; these all have slightly different connotations, but all refer to a species that did not originate in a particular location.
An introduced species is usually classified as “invasive” as opposed to “non-native” or “naturalized” if its presence significantly alters the ecosystem it invades; some people define this more narrowly as a species that causes harm to an ecosystem. “Harm” can take a lot of different forms, as every non-native species interacts differently with the ecosystem they were introduced to.
Aside from various potential impacts to human economic activity, most forms of ecological harm by introduced species involve the decline of native species, by a variety of mechanisms; invaders might eat natives, outcompete them for food, interbreed with them, carry novel pathogens, etc. Invasive species are primarily a threat to biodiversity.
Now, here’s my Hot Take:
The Conjunction of Spheres is analogous to real-life ecological cataclysms such as the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event, and thus monsters are not invasive species.
The Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event saw the extinction of 75% of all species on Earth after the Chicxulub asteroid hit, including the non-avian dinosaurs. The Earth has had several disasters like this, of varying severity—the Great Oxidation Event killed almost literally everything on Earth except for the cyanobacteria who caused it. These cataclysmic extinction events completely upended existing ecosystems, altering habitats beyond recognition and leaving swathes of niches emptied of life that the survivors could evolve to exploit.
The most recent Conjunction of Spheres on the Continent is supposed to have thrown everyone living on the planet at the time into chaos and darkness; it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that the interpenetration of multiple spheres caused mass extinction of species living in the pre-Conjunction environment, similar to Chicxulub or the GOE!
But Socks, you might say, evolution works on a massive timescale! It took millions of years to fill the niches left open by Chicxulub, but it’s only been 1200 years since the Conjunction of Spheres! And you are absolutely right*, but the Conjunction of Spheres canonically came pre-loaded with new species. We actually have no proof that any of the animals we see originated on the Continent: if humans are a post-Conjunction phenomenon, why not also dogs? Why not bears? Who’s to say any of those were actually there before-hand? (The elves, I guess, but as they have not, actually, said so, there’s no proof!!)
* FTR, 1200 years is a shockingly short period of time to go from cataclysm that plunged the world into darkness and chaos to functioning medieval-era society considering how long it actually took humanity to build 13 century Europe (horses had been domesticated for at least 3000 years by that time), even if we’re not assuming that most of the ecosystem was destroyed, so, my timeline concerns here are minimal, lmfao. TIMELINE WHAT TIMELINE.
…and actually now that I think about it the three options for the origin of dogs are a) elves or dwarves domesticated them, b) humans brought dogs with them during the Conjunction, or c) dogs have existed for less than 1200 years, and I refuse to accept that dogs are practically a new invention in the witcherverse, wtf.
Anyways: we really have no idea which species are truly “native” to the Continent, or what the physical environment was like prior to the Conjunction. While monsters are not native to the Continent, monsters are also not invasive—there cannot be decline of pre-Conjunction biodiversity or harm to the pre-Conjunction ecosystem because there is no pre-Conjunction ecosystem anymore.
should monsters be hunted to extinction?
So, the thing is, I think we should try to eradicate invasive species from non-native ranges if we can; the biggest problem with that is feasibility, not morality. It’s much more difficult than one might think to eradicate an invasive species once it’s established, and we have to be very careful that the methods we choose don’t have other impacts, but invasive species are a huge threat to the biodiversity of Earth! If monsters are invasive species, then the answer is yes, they should be eradicated from the places they are not native to.
(Notably, on Earth this kind of eradication is not the same thing as extinction; it would be a local extinction, or extirpation, where the species is totally wiped out in the places it invaded but still exists in its native range. This does get way more complicated if the invasive is already extinct in its native range.)
However, I have just outlined a possibility that would make it plausible for monsters not to be invasive species. Let me also outline why I prefer this interpretation. Here is a book conversation between the sorcerer Dorregaray of Vole and Geralt:
“Our world is in equilibrium. The annihilation, the killing, of any creatures that inhabit this world upsets that equilibrium. And a lack of equilibrium brings closer extinction; extinction and the end of the world as we know it. … Every species has its own natural enemies, every one is the natural enemy of other species. That also includes humans. The extermination of the natural enemies of humans, which you dedicate yourself to, and which one can begin to observe, threatens the degeneration of the race.”
“Do you know what, sorcerer?” Geralt said, annoyed. “One day, take yourself to a mother whose child has been devoured by a basilisk, and tell her she ought to be glad, because thanks to that the human race has escaped degeneration. See what she says to you.”
–The Bounds of Reason, ch. 6
This is a, uh, incredibly unsubtle reference to a debate that has been ongoing for decades; Geralt’s stance here is one of the key arguments in opposition to wolf and bear reintroduction. What do we do about large predators that may pose a threat to humans? How do we balance preservation of the ecosystem with the safety of people who have to coexist with these predators?
I can’t fully agree with Geralt, because large predators are integral to the ecosystem, which I value for its own sake and because humans depend on healthy ecosystems. But I can’t fully agree with Dorregaray either, because Geralt is right: human life is valuable and worthy of protecting. This is an issue that India has been running into in the past ten years; as their tiger conservation efforts yield fruit, people become more likely to encounter tigers, and thus more likely to have a bad encounter with a tiger. It’s become a political struggle as rural people who have to actually live with the possibility of a tiger attack come into conflict with urban conservationists who just really want to preserve tigers (& in some incidents, some of those conservationists have been Western, which is a whole additional level of fuckery). The fact is, there isn’t a good answer to this yet! We certainly should not drive tigers, wolves, or any other large predator to extinction, but we also have to figure out a way to keep people safe. It’s something humanity still has to wrestle with.
Under this framing, which CDPR reinforced when they chose to have the Count di Salvaress defend Iocaste as an endangered species while making significant provisions to minimize the damage she could do to human life, there’s far too much baggage attached for me to say yes, monsters should be hunted into extinction. If you’re going to make monsters analogous to wolves, of course I do not think we should get rid of monsters entirely!
And frankly, Geralt doesn’t think so either, despite his hardline stance about monsters that eat humans. Sapkowski isn’t exactly an anti-conservationist; though Dorregaray is shown as out of touch in this passage, at another point the narrative sides with him calling Philippa out on exterminating a species of ermine for her fur collar, and it’s consistently put forth that Geralt’s best quality is that he doesn’t want to perform violence for the sake of it or destroy things without cause, and one of the representations of that is that he refuses to kill endangered species even at cost to himself:
“What should I say about you, who rejects a lucrative proposition every other day? You won’t kill hirikkas, because they’re an endangered species, or mecopterans, because they’re harmless, or night spirits, because they’re sweet, or dragons, because your code forbids it.”
–Eternal Flame, ch. 2
If monsters and other post-Conjunction creatures are invasive species, the nuance in this conversation is flattened, and Geralt’s refusal to kill mecopterans and hirikkas becomes a flaw rather than a virtue. Boring! I also think that one of the strongest themes in the witcherverse is the idea of all monsters being human ills; wraiths are manifestations of hatred, necrophages multiply because of human bloodshed, cursed ones are created out of malice, mages like Alzur and Idarran of Ulivo go out of their way to straight-up create monsters from scratch*, etc. Iocaste attacks humans and takes livestock because the traditional prey of the silver basilisk, roe deer, has been extirpated by human destruction of their habitat. The aeschna in Blood of Elves attacks humans because humans have altered and polluted the flow of the Pontar, hunting the aeschna’s previous food (seals) to extinction. The true monster is the actions of humans. Monsters that appeared unbidden from another dimension into a previously functional ecosystem to invade and cause problems undermines this theme; monsters that are integrated into the ecosystem and subject to the same social and ecological forces as other animals supports it.
* Idarran’s “idr” monsters from Season of Storms absolutely should be eradicated. Did the world not have enough man-eating arthropods, Idarran? Did you really have to mutate horrible new ones and release them in populated areas?? Mages are a scourge, lmfao
Additionally, one of the biggest reasons I felt like I couldn’t actually apply invasion ecology to monsters was that, whether you accept my Conjunction theory as sufficient biological justification for this or not, monsters just don’t really behave like invasive species. It’s hard to explain this because the setting is pretty brief about its ecological details, but aside from the fact that the narrative frames them like just part of the ecosystem of the world, there are never any details like “that type of flower doesn’t exist anymore because giant centipede tunneling destroyed the soil they needed to grow in.” When monsters are the aggressors, their victims are always humans, not the environment or other animals, and again monsters are themselves often treated as victims of human actions.
So I say monsters aren’t invasive species!
Which means that monsters are, regardless of their strange origins, now a part of the Continent’s ecosystem just as much as bears and wolves.
So let’s talk monster ecology.
what do monsters contribute to the ecosystem, if anything?
So, the phrase “contributing to the ecosystem” is actually super loaded, and I want to unpack that before we go anywhere else. Ecosystems are made up of organisms, and organisms interact with and impact ecosystems, but they don’t necessarily contribute to ecosystems! The implication of “contribute” is that it is possible for an organism to not contribute, and it follows from there that some organisms are not useful. This is functionally nonsensical, and also dangerous.
Conservationists talk a lot about “intrinsic value,” which in this context is the idea that we should want to keep species around just because their existence is valuable! Biodiversity is intrinsically valuable. This is important, firstly because I do believe that all species are intrinsically valuable, but also: ecosystems are so enormously complicated that we do not know the full extent of any species or individual organism’s impact, and we can’t predict what the consequences of removing any given species might be. Treating all species as intrinsically valuable is hedging our bets. All organisms affect the ecosystem, because it’s impossible for them not to, and while some species definitely have outsize impact, none of them are “not contributing,” and frankly even if some of them weren’t, it would be the absolute height of human arrogance for us to decide we could tell which ones were useless when we barely even know what most species eat. Mosquitoes are the base of the entire goddamn food chain, and you still get assholes claiming they don’t “contribute anything.” Of course, most people don’t really mean all of these implications when they use the phrase, but I don’t find it useful to talk about what species “contribute,” and avoid using that language if I can!
What I assume you mean by “what do monsters contribute” is a combination of “what roles might monsters play in the ecosystem” and “are monsters actively harmful to the ecosystem, i.e. do they cause loss of biodiversity?”
And this is difficult to answer! As I’ve said, I don’t think monsters are invasive species, and thus don’t harm the ecosystem, though we know that monsters can be harmful to humans. However, when it comes to the role they do play in the ecosystem, there isn’t enough in canon for me to do more than wildly speculate! Also, there are so so many of them, and the role of a hirikka is going to be wildly different from that of a draconid.
Just offhandedly, most of the big predatory monsters can be assumed to fill the same roles as Earth’s big predators, one of the big ones being overpopulation of prey species, which has ramifications throughout the ecosystem. Some of them are canonically ecosystem engineers, or animals that physically alter their environment (think beavers); for instance, shaelmaar and nekker tunneling. Additionally, the big insectoid colonies can’t be relying solely on naturally-occurring caves for their homes; they’ve gotta be constructing some stuff themselves. These tunnels can be repurposed as habitat for other organisms, from giant centipedes to sewant mushrooms. Necrophages, like corpse-eaters in our world, likely limit the spread of diseases from decomposing flesh (and really wouldn’t be as much of an issue if everyone would stop, you know, doing war and mass murder, lmfao). Arachasae use tree trunks and organic plant material to conceal themselves, which is likely contributing to plant reproduction in a few different ways—but the arachasae decorating essay is a different topic that I swear I will finish one day oh my god—
…anyways, feel free to ask about any specific monsters or niches if you’re curious, but if I tried to go into detail with every single potential niche/ecosystem service all of the monsters we know of might fill, we would be here all day!
Let’s talk about a couple specific things you brought up in your second ask.
> theyve probably found a niche in the world by now and can eat anything smaller incl. humans
I mean…maybe! That is, yeah, they’ve definitely settled into niches by now, but feeding is way more complicated and interesting than that.
For instance: orcas can eat basically whatever the fuck they want—orcas are fully capable of bringing down everything from fish to seals to gray whales to great white sharks. But they don’t. In the Pacific Northwest, the resident orca pods almost exclusively eat salmon, while the transient pods largely feed on seals. Orcas are kind of an extreme example, but this is something called resource partitioning and it’s a big part of how animals limit competition with one another and what enables lots of predators to coexist in one place!
We see a big fuck-off dragon thing and we assume that it’ll eat anything it can fit in its mouth, and definitely some predators work like that. But just because an animal is technically capable of eating something and deriving nutrition from it doesn’t mean that it will. Silver basilisks made roe deer the staple of their diet before the destruction of beech forests meant they had to turn to humans—which is a pretty specific dietary restriction when there should be multiple species of deer running around, not to mention everything else a draconid could be killing! And given how many types of draconid there are…I have to assume there’s some kind of resource partitioning going on to prevent them all from conflicting with each other! For instance, if basilisks prefer roe deer, maybe forktails prefer wild goats, while wyverns are mostly kleptoparasitic (stealing other predators’ kills).
And of course, not all monsters eat humans at all; harpies steal from and attack humans, so they’re a dangerous nuisance, but they don’t seem to eat them. And in the books Geralt mentions plenty of monsters which are totally harmless.
So yes, there are lots of things monsters could be eating, but it would strongly depend, and there’s a lot of interesting places one can take monster diets! Netflix decided their strigas only eat specific organs, leaving the rest of the body untouche, & I love that for her. More monsters that need a particular kind of nutrition that leads them to take only specific body parts from some kills!
> because theyve got no natural predators aside from each other and arent hunted by anything but witchers, monsters are just breeding and eating and wldnt that damage the land? or have they made their own like, circle of life or whatever ?
Absolutely—invasive species whose populations rapidly increase once they’re away from their natural predators cause the decline of native species, often by eating natives directly or competing with natives for resources. And in fact, even native species who become overpopulated can seriously damage the ecosystem (see: white-tailed deer in the United States, whose overpopulation has such negative ecological effects that some people argue we should classify them as invasive, even though they have definitely been here this whole time).
However, even if we grant that monsters are invasive, it’s a little more complicated than that for a few reasons!
Despite the apparent preponderance of them in the witcher games, most monsters are supposed to be strongly on the decline, like witchers themselves. Geralt’s profession is falling out of necessity; human development of the Continent is going to be the biggest suppressing factor in monster populations in the future. Monster overpopulation is just canonically not a problem in this universe! But even in the scenario where the Inevitable March Of Civilization isn’t threatening monster populations, there are a lot of factors that could and would limit monster populations.
(TL;DR for this next part: yeah I definitely think they’ve figured out their own little circle of life—the term you’re looking for is ecosystem equilibrium, btw!—& I’m going to take the next 1.2k to talk about how.)
For starters, predation is only one among many limiting factors that affect populations & prevent them from ballooning out of control:
food availability: If there’s not enough food, there’s not enough food! It also matters how adaptable the animal’s diet is—silver basilisks moved from deer to humans, but if the eucalyptus went extinct koalas would not switch to eating cycads.
illness and parasites: Some people argue these are more important than direct predation for limiting populations, and I am often inclined to agree. Basically, if a population becomes very dense, illness and parasites spread more quickly, creating a natural limiter on how many animals can live in any one place. The greater susceptibility of some individuals to illness or parasites also winnows down populations. Non-native species often escape a good portion of their native diseases by moving to a new range—however, given how fast bacteria and viruses evolve, 1,200 years is a pretty decent amount of time for new diseases to arise. Also, just going to drop a link to my treatise on monster parasites here. It’s gross, mind the warning at the start of the post.
mate availability: If only a certain percentage of the population is actually able to reproduce, that’ll eventually bring the total number down. RIP Iocaste’s boyfriend 😔
territory/shelter availability: Animals need a certain amount of space and certain types of spaces to survive, and space isn’t infinite! It again depends on how adaptable an animal is; rats find ways to thrive nearly everywhere, but pandas can only live where there’s bamboo. If there’s not enough space to hide from predators, reproduce safely, store food, and avoid adverse weather, the population again limits itself naturally.
natural disasters: Wildfires, drought, flooding, tsunamis, storms, etc. pick off significant portions of wildlife populations. Disasters are sporadic rather than directly linked to population like most of the other factors but these periodic blows to population and the other impacts of fire or flooding are often integral to the ecosystem (see especially: fire regimes and fire ecology.)
Now let’s talk predation & monsters! (Genuinely, I think predation is one of the most interesting things in ecology; people tend to simplify it down to things eat other things, which—yeah, but there’s so much more going on there!)
First, I wouldn’t underestimate the effects of monsters eating other monsters! Even if it’s rare for a draconid to snatch up a nekker and carry it off, the threat of a draconid doing so can have dramatic impacts; researchers found that just playing the sound of dog barks on a beach stopped raccoons from foraging for crabs for over a month after the barking stopped, leading to an increase in crab populations, even though no raccoons ever encountered a dog. This is called the ecosystem of fear (which as a term is metal as hell) and it theorizes that just the fear of predators can lead to chronic stress for prey animals, decreasing reproduction and making them more susceptible to disease. Maybe draconids in Toussaint eat only a few dozen nekkers a year, but that might cause thousands of nekkers to have fewer offspring or fall to disease. When it comes to ecosystems the direct effect is usually only a small part of the story!
Second, when we talk about a species not having natural predators, we’re usually talking about an animal that would have a predator back in its home range—lionfish, for instance, have plenty of predators in their natural range (the Indo-Pacific), but no natural predators in their invasive range (the Caribbean), so invasive lionfish, suddenly freed of a limiting factor, can run amok. However, a great white shark has, aside from orcas (who do not actually eat white sharks, they’re just assholes sometimes) and occasionally other white sharks, more or less no natural predators anywhere once it reaches maturity, and that’s fine! Lack of predation of great white sharks did not cause their populations to explode and consume the ocean. White sharks are limited by other factors.
So: it is possible that wherever draconids originated (and it’s entirely possible that “draconids” came from multiple different places, tbh) there was something bigger that preyed on them, but it’s not unreasonable to assume they were also apex predators in their previous dimension (I mean…look at them), and that adult draconids were never really preyed on by anything else! It isn’t necessarily an issue for there not to be predators of certain monsters on the Continent.
(Though, of course, we also shouldn’t forget that most apex predators are prey when they’re young—baby white sharks are snack-sized for a lot of fishes, and bear cubs and wolf pups are similarly vulnerable. Based on the size of the eggs you see in TW3 draconid nests, a basilisk is hatched around the size of a little dog, which is the perfect size for small, ballsy predators such as wolverines to sneak into a nest and snap them up—predators such as more wolverines or raptors like eagles and hawks might also come directly for the eggs.)
When it comes to smaller monsters such as nekkers, who likely weren’t apex predators in their original dimensions and would thus be subject to that lack of natural predators—there are usually specific reasons why prey species manage to avoid predation in their introduced range. Lionfish confound Caribbean predators because lionfish are covered with huge poisonous spines that Caribbean predators don’t know how to deal with.
Drowners, on the other hand, are basically just man-shaped fish; they don’t have any adaptations or defenses that would really stump a bear or a wolf. Again, bigger monsters are still probably checking the populations of smaller monsters no matter what, but there’s really no reason a bear couldn’t figure out how to eat a drowner! Unless a monster has a unique defense (e.g. scurver spines), is actively distasteful to eat (rotfiends, probably), or is just difficult to take down (nekkers in packs), most of the non-monster predators* on the Continent will have incorporated various monsters into their diet by now, or suppressed monster populations indirectly with the threat of predation or by competing with them for food. It has been over a thousand years, which is nothing evolutionarily but is still a decent period of time for mammals, who pass hunting techniques down to their babies, to figure out how to eat ghouls—especially if we’re considering that the Continent’s mammals may also be a result of the Conjunction and would thus have to have been just as adaptable as the monsters to establish themselves. And I’ve also actually talked before about how wolves specifically might be preying on necrophages!
* For reference, the non-monster predators are, considering the Continent is more or less Europe, most likely lynxes, brown bears/polar bears (in Skellige), wolverines, foxes, badgers, and a variety of large birds of prey.
So—yes, if monsters were truly overpopulating, then that would damage the ecosystem. However, canon tells us they are definitely not doing that, and there are also many factors that would prevent that from happening!
(Though I will say that some of the reasons white-tailed deer are overpopulated are that we got rid of cougars and wolves and human development creates a lot of extra habitat of the type that deer like. Given that we know many of draconids are for sure in significant danger of going extinct, and the trajectory that Europe’s wolf and bear populations followed in real life, it is possible that the Continent will have to contend with an overpopulation of some of the smaller monsters at some point as they continue to try to eradicate the larger predators, both monster and non-monsters—you think the drowner problem is bad now, wait until the bears are gone and city development has tripled the number of sewers. Yet another of those humans-make-monster-problems-worse things I am fond of in the Witcherverse!)
…whew. that was a lot of words. In conclusion: ecology is really cool & there’s a bunch of ways monsters can fit into it!!
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December Contest Submission #18: pon farr
Words: ca. 2,500
Setting: Star Trek AU (TNG Era)
Lemon: Lime
Content: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, brief mention of periods, Mental health issues (very brief mention of su1c1dal thoughts)
Of all the places aboard a starship, Anna found that working in engineering was probably the best, if only because it was the most social division among the crew. Science and medical officers were always focused on data and experiments to get much talking done, while officers on the bridge constantly had to put duty and their mission before everyone else.
The engineers? They just had to make sure the ship kept working and with an old Excelsior-class ship like the one Anna served on, there was plenty of work to be done. Ship’s of this design were over a century old, meaning they required a lot of maintenance to keep up and running.
And yet, for a social girl like Anna, she found herself making so many new friends among the engineering crew. There was Kristoff, whose family had set up a reindeer farm on Tuvis IV that he’d often tell stories about. Rapunzel, the girlfriend of the ship’s chief of security who was going on about her love life and there was Olaf, who was obsessed with all things holoprograms to the point he’d roped Anna and their friends onto a few adventures on the ship’s holodeck every once in a while.
But Anna’s best friend though… was Elsa. Despite being half Vulcan and being very emotionally closed off due to that fact, she was a very straightforward woman, very understanding and compassionate in her own unique way.
Whenever Anna usually had an issue, she’d always talk about it with Elsa and no matter how stressed Anna was, Elsa would summarise a simple solution in that precise logical manner only a Vulcan could, a way that always made Anna’s brain go “Now why didn’t I think of that?!”
But for the past two years they’d served together, Anna had always felt there was something more to her friendship with Elsa. She seemed to just get her so well on an instinctual level. And it was for this reason… that Anna eventually realised she had a crush on her best friend.
She couldn’t blame herself. Elsa was utterly gorgeous. Granted, most Vulcan women were, but Elsa was the only Vulcan Anna had ever met with that distinctive shade of platinum-blonde hair and those dazzling blue eyes. Not to mention how slender and elegant her figure was, how her uniform hugged her body in just the right places.
Anna was a little ashamed to admit she’d found herself gawping on duty at Elsa a few times when they should have been working. Elsa was likely obvious to it all though, preferring to put duty first, though she did always value hers and Anna’s friendship.
One day though, things were going a little odd for Anna and Elsa. Actually, things had been very weird for the two of them for at least the last few days, especially with Elsa. She’d been getting… distracted, which was very unusual for her. She also hadn’t been looking too well either, one afternoon Anna thought Elsa was going to faint from a fever she seemed to be sweating so much.
Then again, they were working near the warp nacelles that day and those areas tended to get quite hot. But overall, Elsa was exhibiting some very unusual behaviour. Anna didn’t say much about it though. Vulcans were quite a private people and didn’t discuss health matters with non-Vulcans, even their friends. While Anna hated it, it was a cultural thing and Anna didn’t want to be rude, even if it was quite impossible to actually offend Elsa.
However, that day, things definitely went wrong for the two engineers. They were working at a junction in one of the Jefferies tubes, replacing a power conduit that had blown out when the ship had been in a battle with a rogue Romulan ship. It was more or less a simple repair job, or at least it usually was.
“Elsa, can you pass me that flux spanner?” Anna asked, as she worked on the repairs from an open panel.
“Uhh sure,” Elsa responded, seemingly in a daze. She reached into the toolbox and searched for it. “I can’t seem to find it.”
“You sure it’s not there?” Anna wondered. “I’m pretty sure I packed it before we went out earlier.”
“No… I’m gonna keep looking.” The tone of Elsa’s voice seemed… annoyed. Though more genuine annoyance, rather than that subtle usual manner that Vulcans would normally express such an emotion.
Trying to find the tool inside the box, Elsa became even more frustrated, to the point where she seemed to be growling angrily. Anna looked over her shoulder, seeing Elsa’s face seething with rage.
“Where the hell are you, you stupid thing?!” She roared, before, in a shocking move, she picked up and threw the whole damn toolbox against the wall, smashing a control panel right near where Anna was working.
“Woah, calm down, Els!” Anna exclaimed, quickly closing the open panel she was working
on.
“I’m not calm! Nothing is going right for me today!” The blonde fumed, rushing up to Anna. “I have had it up to here! I… I…” She quickly composed herself, her usual Vulcan logic taking over and she managed to control herself. “I… I apologise, Anna. I don’t know what came over me.”
Quickly touching Elsa’s forehead, Anna felt like her hand was going to be burned since Elsa’s skin was so hot. “Holy hell, you feel like you’re on fire!”
“I’m… I’m fine,” Elsa insisted, seeming nervous. “Trust me, I’m alright.”
“I don’t think you’ve been okay for a while, Elsa,” Anna remarked. “I apologise if the Vulcan side of you gets offended by me asking… but what’s wrong with you lately? You’ve been distracted, agitated… and don’t look well at all.”
“I… I would prefer not to discuss this ANna,” Elsa replied. “But I assure you, I’m alright. I will… manage this.”
Anna sighed, she was already pushing her boundaries with her friend as it was, so she had to accept that explanation, whether she liked it or not. “Okay, fine… but you better go lie down or see a doctor or something. Preferably both.”
“I will… consider that,” Elsa acknowledged, before wiping her brow. “Will you… be alright carrying out the repairs without me?”
“Elsa, I’ve done these repairs over a hundred times at this point. I can handle it.”
Nodding, Elsa made her way to the nearby door and opened it out into the hallway. “Alright… I will hopefully see you later then.”
“Take care, Elsa,” Anna said, slightly worried. “I… I care about you, y'know?”
“Your compassion is appreciated, my friend,” Elsa replied assuredly. “But I’ll be okay.”
Anna had hoped that would have been the end of that, that Elsa would have simply gone to her room to lie down or gotten some medication from the doctor to help with whatever her problem was. But Anna’s hopes were soon dashed. Later that afternoon, she stopped by the medical bay to ask if Elsa had gone there.
The doctor on duty told her that Elsa hadn’t been there all day, and when Anna had gone to see her colleagues, they’d told her they hadn’t seen Elsa either. This made Anna even more concerned for her friend.
After asking the computer to locate Elsa for her, the computer confirmed Elsa had indeed gone to her quarters… and sealed herself inside. Anxiety and dread rising within her, Anna decided to head to Elsa’s quarters. She knew the way like the back of her hand, as both she and Elsa shared quarters on deck twelve of the ship. When she arrived, she could hear the soft sound of the Vulcan’s voice coming from inside.
Pressing her head against the door, Anna listened in. Elsa sounded as though she was… crying. And screaming as well, as a loud cry and then a thundering crash and something made of glass was smashed against the wall.
Scared out of her mind, Anna nearly pressed her commbadge to call security… only to wonder if having an armed security team involved would only make the situation worse. No, Elsa was her friend, she had to help her out of this situation.
Pressing the panel on the door, Anna heard the usual chime sounding off.
“Go away!” Elsa snapped.
“Elsa it’s me!” Anna argued.
“I said go away!” roared Elsa in an almost bestial manner.
“Elsa, it’s Anna!” Anna shouted as loud as she could. “Please, I know you’re in there! Just let me in, I wanna help!”
There was a deep silence, Anna feeling a horrible lump form in her throat. After what felt like an eternity passed, Elsa’s voice spoke again. “Alright… come in.”
The door opened… and Anna saw Elsa’s quarters looked like a battlefield from the Cardassian wars. Objects were smashed and broken, Elsa’s plant pots had been tipped over and her bed and cushions had been torn up in a manner that looked like a wild animal had rampaged through the room. And then there was Elsa herself, sitting on the bed and shivering.
She wasn’t wearing her Starfleet uniform anymore, but a white Vulcan robe. It was something Elsa preferred to wear while she was meditating as it helped to clear her thoughts. As Anna slowly approached Elsa, seeing her hugging her legs, her heart broke at the sight of her.
It was a common myth among some species in the galaxy that Vulcans were completely without emotion. They couldn’t be further from the truth. The Vulcans were, deep down, a very passionate and emotionally driven people, though they took great efforts to suppress their emotions due to how powerful and overwhelming they would be, so powerful that their history for a long time had been filled with nothing but war and barbarity.
Right now… Elsa wasn’t angry anymore. It was clear her emotions, the ones she spent so much time keeping under control, were deeply out of balance. Instead of anger, Elsa was frightened, as if she’d seen the most horrifying sight imaginable. ANna gently sat down on the bed, trying to reach over and touch her friend, but Elsa just pulled away.
“Don’t come closer, please,” she pleaded. “I don’t… I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“What’s wrong, Elsa?” Anna wondered. “I heard you’ve been in here all day. You didn’t even go to the doctor.”
“I… I thought I could handle it,” Elsa muttered. “I thought I could get through it without any help… I was wrong.”
“Handle what? Get through what?” Anna asked. “Elsa, what exactly is going on here?”
“It’s a private matter, something Vulcans don’t discuss with outsiders… not even our friends.”
“Elsa, you just ripped apart your room, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you like this,” Anna stated. “Please, I need to know what’s wrong. If you can’t tell a doctor, you can tell me. I won’t tell a soul.”
SIghing, Elsa looked away. “Alright… These are unusual circumstances, after all.” She looked straight at Anna. “Anna… do you know what the pon farr is?”
“I think so… the Vulcan mating ritual right?” Anna assumed. “Not exactly an expert on this stuff, sorry.”
“It’s alright, Anna,” Elsa replied. “But, it’s a bit more than our mating ritual. Every seven years, after a certain point in our adult lives, we Vulcans undergo a change in our bodies, our minds undergo a neurochemical imbalance as the desire for a mate overwhelms us. it’s why my emotions have become harder to control lately.”
“So it’s… like how I go through my period every month?”
“Sort of,” Elsa replied. “Only for us Vulcans… our pon farr could potentially kill us if not treated. It drives us so mad that we… well…”
“WHAT?!” Anna exclaimed. “Okay, why didn’t you tell me that sooner! if you’re going to die, we need to get you a doctor, right now!”
“No, I can’t see a doctor!” Elsa insisted. “Please Anna…”
“Fine…” Anna said regretfully. “But why on Earth did you think locking yourself in your
quarters like this was a good idea anyway?”
“Because I thought I could make it through it!” Elsa argued. “The only ways to deal with a pon farr are to either mate, return to the homeworld for treatment or deeply meditate.”
“That’s why you were in your robe, you were trying to meditate to calm your emotions,” Anna realised. “But even so, if you knew this was potentially fatal, why didn’t you go to the doctor?”
“Because the pon farr is a very… private matter for Vulcans. We don’t like to involve outsiders in our affairs of the heart. it’s seen as a great taboo.”
Sighing, Anna looked at Elsa disappointedly. “You know, people always told me Vulcans were arrogant assholes. When I met you, I thought they were wrong but now… well, I guess they were right after all.”
“I am deeply sorry, Anna,” Elsa apologised. “To be truthful, part of me hoped I wouldn’t go through a pon farr so soon. I’m a hybrid and some hybrids don’t undergo their first pon farr until a lot later in their lives.”
“Can’t… Can’t we get you home to Vulcan?” Anna suggested. “I could ask the captain to let you have a shuttle.”
“No, it’d take too long, considering how far out we are,” Elsa explained. “I’d die by the time we reached Vulcan.”
“Okay… you need to mate right? Does the mate need to be an actual living being? Why not just create a mate for yourself on the holodeck?”
“That… could work,” Elsa admitted. “I did consider it and while I’ve heard some Vulcans have been able to use a holodeck like that, I don’t think I could. It just wouldn’t feel… real to me, or at least real enough to my body that I could actually get through my pon farr like this.” She sighed. “I… I guess I must accept my fate. Or at the very least… try and end my suffering before my madness becomes too much to control.”
“NO!” Anna shouted. “No, I’m not gonna let you kill yourself because of this!”
“I… I don’t see any other option, Anna,” Elsa expressed. “The more I remain like this, the more likely I could cause harm to myself or to the crew.
Thinking for a moment, Anna had to think of a solution to save her best friend’s life. All her other options wouldn’t work… but there was one idea she hadn’t considered and yet, she didn’t know if it was right.
After all, Elsa probably had no idea that ANna had feelings for her.
“Elsa… I have an idea,” Anna stated. “Why don’t you mate… with me?”
“With you?” Elsa wondered. “But why would I-”
“Because, Elsa… I am in love with you,” Anna stated. “I’ve been in love with you for like over a year and I want to help you get through this in whatever way I can.”
“I… I know,” Elsa replied.
“You did? But… why didn’t you say anything?”
“It did not feel appropriate,” Elsa expressed. “We Vulcans have a very different way of romantic and physical relationships and I thought that if you pursued one with me, you might be confused if I did not meet your human standards for such a relationship.”
“Elsa, I don’t care if you’re all logical and stuff,” Anna argued. “I love you for you and hey, even if it’s not what I’m probably expecting, I’ll still be with the woman I love and at the end of the day, that’s all I care about.”
“That… that means a great deal to me,” Elsa expressed. “I… I love you as well Anna. That will probably be the only time I’ll be able to say that… my emotions are still unstable.”
“Then let me help you,” Anna whispered. “Let me take care of you and end this pain in your heart.” She leaned in close and kissed Elsa deeply, caressing her cheek. Elsa kissed back with firey, loving passion, wrapping her arms around Anna with all her strength.
“Oh… Oh yes,” she whispered, as she and Anna kissed tenderly, feeling a sense of euphoria within her with every loving press to her lips. “I… I feel it.”
Anna smiled, gently undoing the buttons on her uniform. “Good… now let me show you how much I love you.” She then stripped out of her clothes and got on top of Elsa… and then the two of them spent the evening together, joining as one.
Anna did a more than satisfactory job with helping Elsa through this difficult time and afterwards, the two of them did begin a relationship, one that despite its ups and downs, was one Anna treasured with all her soul.
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In Third Person (a translated one-shot)
This one-shot was originally written by 礼里图 on Weibo, who has given me permission to translate it!
“Love possesses not, nor will it be possessed. For love is sufficient unto love.”
[ 1 ]
It had taken great pains to be transferred to the Special Task Force. Your father, with glittering medallions on his chest, was vehemently against you throwing yourself into such a dangerous den. He only authorised the transfer after you threw a fit for several days.
He thought that your stubbornness stemmed from a youthful vigour, and an unwillingness to simply idle away under his protection. But you weren’t that ambitious. While leading an idle life was your ultimate goal, settling down was your life’s ideal.
Well, if it wasn’t for that person.
-
The person waiting for your arrival is Eli. After reading out the word on his name tag, he shoots you a smile, revealing a set of straight teeth as he exudes an aura of gentility. “Nice to meet you, MC. I’m Eli. Follow me. Captain Gavin is waiting for you.”
You thank him, maintaining an external appearance of calm. Trailing behind him, you murmur in your heart: What kind of a paradise is Loveland City? Why are there so many dashing men?
The Special Task Force isn’t large, and you are soon brought to your destination. Eli opens the door for you, and you see the back of someone standing tall and straight near the window. He turns around at the sound of the door opening, wearing a polite smile on his face.
The afternoon sun encases him. Against the light, you are unable to tell for a moment which one is of a lighter colour - his hair or his eyes.
He gives you a mild smile. “Hello.”
Dizziness consumes you, and it’s as though cotton is lodged in your throat. There are so many things you want to say, but you have no idea where to begin.
He doesn’t remember you. You know that.
“MC.. MC, wake up! Don’t go to sleep! The support team is on its way. Wake up!”
The gunshot wound on your lower abdomen is oozing with blood. You seem to be in someone’s arms. Fading in and out of consciousness, you hear someone calling your name in an unpractised manner. You want to respond, but blood rises up your throat the moment you breathe, leaving him to call out on his own.
In this lifetime, no one has ever called your name so many times before. When the helicopter makes its way to the scene, his relieved and slightly trembling voice propels you to struggle in opening your eyes. But all you see is his defined chin and his name tag coated in blood.
“Gavin?”
“Mm?” The man looks at you, slightly confused.
“Oh, mm... hello.” The profile in your memory and the person in front of you separate from each other. You react with a start, responding incoherently.
Fortunately, the other party doesn’t seem to mind your odd behaviour. He offers you his hand in a polite and business-like manner. “I’m Gavin. We welcome you as a member of the Special Task Force.”
“It’s an honour.”
He shakes your hand. His palm is dry and warm - different from the cold attitude he displays.
“Your Evol is stagnation? You can avoid any physical attacks, and within a set distance, you can indiscriminately freeze your opponent’s Evol.”
You hear a sharp intake of breath coming from Eli behind you. Suppressing the sense of pride in your heart, you look at the wad of documents in his hand, and nod.
“It’s a very unique and powerful Evol.” He places the documents on the table. When his eyes flit to yours this time, you can see that the amicableness in them is more genuine. “We welcome you.”
-
[ 2 ]
You came here because of Gavin.
During a special police training drill three years ago, the both of you were allocated to be in the same group. At that time, you were arrogant and condescending, looking down on everyone else. During the self-introduction, you didn’t even bother listening to what his name was. Back then, you were certain that given your abilities, you’d be able to get through this drill alone, even though historical data showed that 90% of the special police failed at this stage.
Your confidence wasn’t grounded in nothing. When it came to practice drills, every Evolver was important. So, there typically wouldn’t be any risky weapons like gunpowder. And you were certain that you could get rid of every Evolver within your range.
It couldn’t be helped. In this line of work, talent triumphed over everything else.
But things were unusual during that practice drill. You never expected that people from Black Swan would infiltrate the drill. He didn’t intend to expose himself, but you had once read about his Evol.
Young and overly confident, you wanted to stand out, so you pointed him out immediately. Panicking, he chose to fire a gun. Although Gavin had tried his best to control the wind to alter the bullet’s trajectory, he was too far away, and time was too tight. In the end, you received a bullet to your lower abdomen.
That was the first time you had such a close shave with death. Many nights after that, it was only after recalling the warmth of Gavin’s palm on your wound, and that phrase “wake up”, that you could flee from nightmares.
You had to find him.
-
[ 3 ]
The life of a civil servant is a boring one.
“Are there any Grade A or Grade S missions today?”
“Nope.”
After asking Eli the same set of daily questions, you sit in the relatively comfortable office.
Special Task Force missions are split into six levels of difficulty - S, A, B, C, D, E. Grade S and A missions are typically led by Gavin, while Grade B and C missions are led by Eli.
Although your Evol is powerful, you’ve only been sent out on trivial missions during your past month in STF. Perhaps it was at your father’s behest, or because you were a newbie. You’ve always been led by Eli, and don’t get to see Gavin much. The first time Gavin saw you lifting up and Evolver with ease, he subconsciously scratched his nose and said: “Truly an overkill.”
You also found that it an overkill. Which is why you’ve been trying to get yourself roped into more difficult missions.
Each time, Eli would give you a look which said that you were being too thick-skinned. “Miss, it’s a peaceful and legal era we live in. We don’t get that many major cases. Also...”
“Also what?”
“Also, it’s not time for you to be deployed.” Eli points at your name tag, then at his own. “You’re blue. I’m green. When you’re green, I’ll help you make an application.”
“Get lost. You’re the one who’s green! You’ll be green soon!”
[Trivia] In Chinese, being “green” means that you’re being cheated on.
“Why are you so agitated?” Eli leans closer. “Why are you so sensitive? Do you have a boyfriend?”
Who says boys aren’t interested in gossip? You roll your eyes at him. “Not for now.”
“That means you do have someone you fancy!” Eli nods contemplatively, a knowing look on his face.
You should have someone you like.
At least, if you don’t have a mistaken definition of what "like” is.
-
[ 4 ]
It’s a fact that the swivelling chairs in the office are not suitable for working. After using the chair for nearly a month, you get a stiff neck one day when you get up too quickly.
While laughing at your posture, Eli points you towards the infirmary downstairs, and tells you that there’s a kind-looking elderly physician who is experienced in Dit Da.
When you push open the door, you don’t see the physician. instead, you see Gavin, who you haven’t crossed paths with in a long while.
His face is deathly pale as he huddles on one of the sick beds. He looks incredible drained, and is currently asleep. The back of his hand is hooked onto an IV, and the top half of his body is exposed, bandages wrapped around his torso. His back is covered with pinkish bruises and brown scars, both old and new.
The door suddenly opens from behind, bringing with it a gust of fresh air.
“Who are you?”
You adjust your breathing quietly, suppressing the urge to retch. You turn around to see an elderly man in his fifties walking in. He should be the physician Eli mentioned earlier.
“Hey! Why is this man asleep?” Before you can respond, the physician walks over, adjusting the flow of the IV, then tugging the blanket upwards slightly.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Gavin?” The doctor looks you up and down, his gaze settling on your name tag. “STF Member C-24. Are you this fellow’s subordinate?”
“Mm.” You nod, and repeat your question. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Small issue.” The physician holds up the medical record book at the side, pages rustling as he flips through it. “When does this fellow not bring back a body full of injuries after returning from a mission? Do you see that scar on his collarbone?” He gestures at his own collarbone. “If it were three centimetres deeper, it'd have reached his aorta. Even the gods wouldn’t be able to save him.”
Without waiting for you to express your opinion, the physician continues.
“Why are you young people working so hard? You’re already doing such dangerous work, yet you don’t cherish your bodies. Heading out on missions every day and night. Will the Special Task Force cease to operate without Gavin? He’s still in his twenties, yet he’s so tired that he needs to have an IV... ah, did I wake you up?”
You peer at the bed to find that Gavin has indeed been roused from his sleep. His eye bags display layers of fatigue. In a hoarse voice, he asks, “Why are you here?”
“My... my neck is stiff, so I’m here to have the physician do Dit Da for me.”
“...”
The room lapses into silence. Even without lifting your head, you can sense the physician left aghast at the different severity of injuries between the both of you.
“All right.” The doctor sets down the file in his hand, then walks over to you, placing his hands on your neck. “This is simple. Just twist... and done. Hey, why are you crying?”
The doctor points at your face, stunned. At a loss, he looks at Gavin, as though trying to prove that your tears have nothing to do with him.
You touch your face, and only then discover that your face is damp. Astonished by this involuntary reaction, you use the back of your hands to wipe the wet stains off. But the floodgates have opened, and you just can’t seem to wipe your face clean. In the end, you decide to lower your face, burying it in your palms.
The tightening sensation in your heart grips you in waves. You have no idea where this sorrow stems from. Or maybe you do. Maybe you have known since a long time ago.
But you don’t dare to admit it, and especially not in front of this person - that your uncontrollably trembling shoulders have left you feeling ashamed. In countless nights after this, you’ll definitely toss and turn in bed, regretting this moment.
You don’t want him to be curious about why you’re crying. You’re afraid that his curiosity would lead to him uncovering a secret you wish to tell him, but have no idea how to broach.
“Eh... Miss, why are you crying? Did I hurt you earlier?” The doctor sees that you’re crying even harder now, and starts scrambling around for tissues. “I don’t remember exerting that much strength. Ahh, stop crying! I’ll give you some safflower oil?”
“I’m fine...” You summon your entire body’s worth of strength to bring your sobbing to a halt. Doing your best to control your sniffling, your eyes are hazy as you look at Gavin. You ask hoarsely, “Next time, could I go on missions with you?”
Gavin’s gaze lingers on your face for a very long time - until your sniffling gradually disappears. Only then does he ask simply, “The reason?”
“I’m very incredible. I’m really very incredible.”
Seeing his calm, unmoved expression, I hurriedly rack my brains, and elaborate. “My Evol allows me to control any Evolvers within range, I have a keen perception, and even attained the first place in school.” His expression remains unchanged, and you end with a conclusion, hoping to salvage the situation. “Trust me, Captain Gavin. With me around, you... and the other colleagues from STF will no longer get injured.”
After this speech, it occurs to you that you might have been overly straightforward. You decide to add, “STF lacks an Evolver with spirit. I feel duty bound to answer this call, and step forward bravely.”
The more you speak, the more you feel like you’re building a weak case for yourself, and all you want to do is bury your head into the ground.
As expected, Gavin doesn’t appear to be impressed, and doesn’t even bother altering his expression. In the harsh environment of STF which requires one to numb oneself to life and death, not many people are willing to choose such a path.
But people like you who harbour talent and the mentality of a new soldier wanting to save the world are more common. After all, battlefields always require people who are willing to die in the name of their convictions. They might not be strong, but they are loyal. When it comes to honouring their duty, they are mighty.
He has likely seen too many people similar to you. People who volunteer their services in the heat of passion. With an official tone, he gives you his response. “The STF has its regulations. If you pass the probation period, you’ll naturally have the chance to go on missions with everyone.”
“Also,” he adds. “Reality is much more cruel than what you imagine. Instead of crying over someone else’s wounds, why not think about how to make yourself even stronger - this way, you won’t let yourself or other people get hurt.”
With this, he shuts his eyes, resuming his rest.
He had stapled a non-romantic definition to the reason for your tears. And you have no way of telling him that they were not simply products of a young woman’s fragile emotions.
Crying is a meaningless act, but what else can you do?
Poverty, coughing, and romantic affection are unable to be controlled.
And you tears are unable to be controlled either.
-
[ 5 ]
Unable to get past the 887th stage of the mobile game, you’re in the midst of strategising your next move when Eli tosses a green ID card onto your office desk. It lands with a “thump”.
You lift your head, looking at Eli as he sits at the desk opposite yours. He throws you a can of beer, and a: “You’re amazing!”
Catching the can, you use a coin to crack it open. The mildly bitter taste flows down your throat, and it’s so cold that you shiver. Even though you already tried suppressing the happiness in your heart, a smile still creeps onto your face.
“So-so.”
“There’s no need to be so humble!” Eli cracks open his own can of beer. His tone is direct. “I’ve been here for so long, but it’s the first time I met the Director. And it’s all because I assisted a little employee with a transfer. I’m truly basking in your glory.”
You take small sips of the beer, saying the phrase that you once used countless times, and garnered much envy and hate from. “You’ll get used to it.”
Eli bursts into laughter. Before you can roll your eyes at him, he suddenly asks, “Do you like Gavin?”
He’s referring to Gavin. Not Captain Gavin.
You resist the urge to spit out the beer in your mouth. While swallowing it carefully, you crunch the empty can underneath your feet, then toss it into the dustbin situated three metres away. Although it flies in the air in a beautiful arc, it regretfully lands beside the bin.
Eli picks up the crushed can, throwing it into the bin. Then, he holds up his unfinished drink towards you.
“Don’t get so agitated. I was just wondering why someone like you - with such a good family background and powerful abilities - would join a dangerous place offering you such harsh conditions. So I read through your file, and found that you, Gavin, and I were from the same police academy. No wonder you acted a little odd when you met him the first time.. Right from the start, you joined because of him. Right, MC? Or should I call you... Junior?”
You smile, neither admitting nor denying it. Instead, you counter with a question. “Does Gavin know that you’re this gossipy behind his back?”
Throwing his now-empty can into the bin, he straightens his clothes and responds. “Don’t worry. He doesn’t know it yet. It’s a good thing we’re considered friends. So I’d know if he brings you up.” He pauses, then continues. “You should stop caring about Gavin.”
“Why?”
Eli walks over, giving you a pat on the head. “It’s a long story, and I can’t explain it succinctly. In short, if you can forget about him, forget him. If you can’t forget about him, run away quickly. This is the prime of your youth, so there’s no need to waste it on the STF, and there’s no need to waste it on Gavin. Also, we have a Grade S mission tonight, and you’ll be following Gav... Captain Gavin. Make sure you’re prepared.”
Whenever people fall into the river of love, people often say that you shouldn’t waste your youth on one person, as though youth is something amazing.
But when you think about it, you find that the thing you most cherish in youth, and the thing worth returning to over and over again, is the time you devoted your entire heart to wasting.
-
[ 6 ]
It’s been two months since you last saw Gavin.
In the break room just before the mission commences, you see him decked out in full military gear. He looks so handsome that his picture could be used as promotional material for the National University of Defense Technology.
Expressionless, he scans the team. Finally, his eyes land on you. Furrowing his brows, he asks, “Why aren’t you wearing a bulletproof vest?”
You stare at the new vest at the side, giving him a shrug. “I don’t need it. The enemy can't hurt me.”
Also, you’re worried that the bulletproof vest would be too bulky for your somewhat petite frame.
“Put it on.”
He speaks in a tone which leaves absolutely no room for discussion, and he exudes a rare, imposing manner of a high-ranking official.
Quietly, you pick up the vest and wear it.
Likely sensing that his tone was overly harsh earlier, he steps closer a little unnaturally to explain. “In every mission, there are many uncertain factors. Being overly confident is being irresponsible to yourself.” Saying this, he seems to realise that you aren’t the type of person who would be responsible for yourself. So he adds, “Think about the people who care about you.”
The reason suffices to convince you, although it would have worked better if he had said: “Think about the people you care about”.
-
When you disembark from the vehicle and see a huge, disorderly mass of civilians and Evolvers rushing over, you get goosebumps.
Evolvers and ordinary citizens have never had a difference in actual strength. The difference lay in talent. Although you were especially terrifying to Evolvers, you couldn’t do much about normal citizens.
On this evening, five of you have been deployed to the scene, and can be considered to be the elites. It shouldn’t be a problem dealing with ten or fifteen Evolvers.
But when you see the vast group of people before you, you can’t help but feel anxious.
“We’ll buy time while waiting for assistance.” Gavin commands in a soft voice, frowning. “I’ve already contacted the armed police. We just need to handle the Evolvers. The civilians will be left to the police.”
Eli and the others nod. Using the car as the base, they form an inverted triangle with you in the middle. This formation takes into account how your Evol provides the strongest assistance. To an Evolver, losing his abilities is akin to being a sheep out of its enclosure.
But your Evol has its weaknesses. And its greatest weakness is you.
You feel dizzy at the sight of blood.
It’s likely a shortcoming resulting from the time you were shot in the abdomen and felt warm blood gushing out of your wound. Since then, whenever you see a patch of crimson or smell the scent of blood, you’d feel dizzy and experience heart palpitations.
Which mission wouldn’t involve blood?
You force yourself to concentrate on the swarming flood of enemies as they rush forward, so that you can use your abilities at the earliest possible instance.
Gavin is standing on your left. It’s obvious that he is on the alert. The veins on his arms are evident, and the surrounding wind rustles from his Evol.
The battle is about to begin.
The other side has also come prepared. Knowing about the existence of someone harbouring the “stagnation” ability, they plan to adopt a human wave attack. But Gavin’s wall of wind prevents them from taking a step closer. Naturally, most of the firepower is targeted towards him, preparing to break your team’s small but sturdy formation by taking him down first.
You know that Gavin has always been good at fighting, even though many claimed that he rose to his position at such a young age because of his father. But how could the glory of one’s family bless one from escaping death time and time again?
However, even the most fearsome lion isn’t impervious to the bite of a stray dog. He’s gradually unable to hold off the firepower. A small tear appears in the wall of wind. And this is the chance the other side has been waiting for. Without a hint of hesitation, someone takes aim and shoots at the hole. It’s too late for the team to react, and they can only watch as the bullet whizzes towards Gavin.
You lunge forward without a thought.
Perhaps you were always waiting for this moment, ever since you saw him wounded in the infirmary.
You’re not brave.
But you like him.
And it’s precisely because you like him that you’re brave enough to move forward.
The collision of the back of your head with the solid car results in an earth-shattering noise. The sudden sharp pain makes you blank out for a few seconds, and you hear someone calling your name loudly before you sink into a boundless darkness.
-
[ 7 ]
When you regain consciousness, you’re in the hospital. Eli is sitting at the edge of the bed, paring an apple.
Noticing your gaze, he responds before you can even open your mouth. “I know what you’re going to ask. Gavin was here earlier, but left after the doctor said you were fine. There are still many things he has to deal with.”
You nod, eyes drifting to the drip tube attached to your hand.
“You’re okay, just a mild concussion. It’s a good thing you had the bulletproof vest on, or you’d be in the ICU right now.” He hands you a poorly pared apple. “Was it worth it?”
Goosebumps appear on your skin at his words, which sound as though they were extracted from a soap opera script.
You take a huge bite of the apple, the sour yet sweet juices filling your mouth. “Don’t ask me whether it was worth it. Ask if I’m happy or not.”
Not waiting for Eli to respond, you continue. “I’m happy. I was able to do something for him. I did it gladly.”
Eil’s hand trembles slightly, then he pats the top of your head gently. “You’re truly a fool...”
-
Later, Gavin pays you a visit. You’ve just woken up from a sweet dream, and the sky is already darkening. He’s standing at the window in a daze. Although you wish to stare at him for a while longer, he’s too sharp, and quickly realises that you’re awake.
“Feeling better?” He turns around and asks.
You nod.
He draws the curtains, letting the remnants of sunlight stream in. Then, he picks the sofa farthest away from the bed, and sits down. You know what he’s going to talk about.
“I hope this wouldn’t happen again.”
It’s exactly what you expected. You shut your eyes. In a hoarse voice, you defend yourself. “You don’t need to care about it.”
After all, you did it willingly.
He frowns and glances at you, as though he’s trying to find the correct words to say. Finally, he leaves you with a stiff sentence. “You don’t need to sacrifice yourself for other people.”
You smile, wanting to respond with: “But you aren’t 'other people’”.
After thinking about it for a very long time, you decide that you lack the guts to say it.
In the end, you respond with what’s expected of you.
“Got it, Captain Gavin.”
-
[ 8 ]
It’s an old STF tradition to gather for a meal after a successful mission. When you see Gavin dealing somewhat awkwardly with the service staff’s overly enthusiastic ‘interrogations’, you feel like chuckling.
The world works in strange ways. Just a week ago, you were at death’s door. But right now, you’re standing here, watching as Gavin struggles between a half-spicy and half-mild hotpot or a mala hotpot.
Truly, the most ordinary things bring the most comfort.
Foodies love talking about their feelings over a meal. Before, you had mostly interacted with Eli. In the span of a single meal, however, you find yourself growing much closer to the team. Gavin is exceptionally quiet at the table. The person whose expression doesn’t change when faced with ferocious enemies, the most difficult circumstances, is currently red in the face and neck from the spiciness of the dishes. Even the tip of his nose is coated in a sheen of sweat.
He looks ravishing. It’s the first time your heart has fluttered so much during a meal. He seems to be ill at ease, and keeps checking his phone.
In the middle of the hotpot, you receive a call from your father. Gripping your phone, you head to the only quiet spot you can find.
After exchanging a few words with your father, you hang up.
The clamour from outside drifts over, and you rub your slightly swollen temples. Suddenly, you don’t really feel like going back. You’d rather embrace this rare moment of tranquility.
Coincidentally, once this thought flits through your mind, you hear footsteps approaching. You’re standing on one of the higher stairs, which happens to be cloaked in shadows. If one doesn’t pay attention, they wouldn’t be able to spot you.
The owner of the footsteps leaves you frozen in place.
It’s Gavin.
He has removed his jacket, and is only wearing a white t-shirt. The look in his eyes is even deeper than the shadows. Ever since the two of you reunited, this is the first time you get the chance to observe him from such a close distance.
He coughs lightly at the seemingly empty corridor, then takes out his phone, preparing to make a call.
Despite this unexpected turn of events, you have no intention of eavesdropping. However, making an appearance now would just make things awkward.
While you’re still mulling over what would be the best course of action, the line gets through.
It’s as if someone flipped a switch on him.
For the first time, you see a gentle expression on his face.
“What are you up to?” He says softly, reminiscent of someone afraid of waking another from a dream.
You can’t hear what’s being said on the other end, but you can see his tender gaze and the insuppressible tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Just coming off a mission. I'm tired.”
He leans against a railing next to the stairs, subconsciously loosening his tie. At this moment, all his accumulated fatigue finally pours out in torrents.
He doesn’t say much after this. A faint smile lingers on his face. It seems the person at the other end of the line is planning something, and his smile grows more and more evident as he keeps agreeing with “mm”, “sure”, “anything you say”.
In the end, he glances at his watch, realising that he doesn’t have much time left. Softly, he says, “It’s late. Rest early. Goodnight.”
It’s a beautiful scene - giving someone a call after a busy day of work, talking about weekend plans, sharing each others’ lives, and basking in the joy of having someone concerned about you.
The only regretful thing is that the person on the other end of the line isn't you.
-
[ 9 ]
Only after a long while after Gavin leaves do you drag your numb feet out of your hiding spot. You spot Eli at the end of the corridor, smoking a cigarette. He looks you up and down, as though trying to verify something.
“Are you okay?” He asks hesitantly.
“I’m fine.”
The moment the words leave your lips, you feel your face heat up. Tears spill from your eyes, and you use the back of your hands to wipe at your face.
“It’s just an old habit. I'm like this whenever I get too emotional. Could you give me a cigarette? It’d help me calm down.” You explain, realising that Eli has no idea what happened.
With a conflicted expression, Eli retrieves a cigarette box from his pocket. He picks one cigarette bud and hands it to you. Placing it between your trembling lips, he lights it. It works wonders. The moment you inhale, you feel your entire body immersed in a warm scent. Encased in smoke, you hear Eli speak. “The last time, I mentioned that it was a long story. But if you want to hear it, I can cut it short.”
“I want to hear it.”
“That person is his junior. Gavin has known her for many years, and has liked her for just as many years. All these things you're doing...” He glances at you, then lights a new cigarette. “They don’t mean much to him. You saw the way he looked when he was making the call, right? It’s only for one person in the entire world. Nobody else.”
The tears surge forth once again. While you rush to wipe them away, you berate Eli. “Damn it! Why can’t you be more considerate to how I feel?”
Seeing that you’re crying even more fiercely, he stops his cutting remarks. Instead, he tousles your hair, then rifles through his wallet for a picture of Gavin. “It’s not for sale. I’ll give it to you as a souvenir.”
You take the photograph from him. It’s one that was taken a very long time ago, and its edges are curled. Under the dim lights, you take this old photograph in your hand, and are transported to the time of Gavin’s youth. He’s standing on the roof of the school, his blue and white uniform blowing with the wind. One hand is on the railing, and another is holding on to a paper airplane. With a slight smile, he turns back to look at the camera. Behind him is the azure sky.
Back then, none of these regrets blossomed yet.
“I don’t know if I appeared too early, or too late.”
Eli stares at you, his gaze sympathetic. “Sometimes, it’s not about whether you’re early or late. I’m not sure if you’ll understand if I put it this way - There won’t be another person. There’s only her. Gavin isn’t the sort of person who would like someone because they treat him well. It’s only when he likes someone that he'd accept that person’s kindness.”
“But,” he continues. “Even if the ending remains the same, you can change its course. After all, if you want a wound to heal completely, the best way is to remove the rotten areas. Perhaps what other people say is useless. You could try listening to his answer directly.”
You nod.
Loving someone requires devotion. One will always have to experience all sorts of hardship before it can come to fruition.
-
[ 10 ]
By the time you and Eli return, the meal has almost reached an end. Your colleagues are preparing to head over for karaoke next door. When you are all packed into the lift, you happen to stand behind Gavin. He has his jacket on, and his sleeves are pulled up, revealing a black plaited bracelet on his wrist. No matter how slow-witted you are, you’re able to recognise that it’s part of a couple set advertised by a certain brand a long time ago.
Behind you, a couple of drunk colleagues start causing a ruckus and bumping against your back. In the crowded lift, you shuffle your feet, trying to steady yourself, and trying to maintain a certain distance between the two of you.
Sometimes, you can’t comprehend your strange ego and pride. You’ve seen girls showering the guys they like with gifts, and wearing beautiful dresses to invite them out to movies. But you’ve never thought of imitating them. You’d even secretly celebrate when they get rejected - You were so glad that you were different from them.
But today, you realise that you aren’t that different from them. You aren’t even as candid as they are.
The lively atmosphere is a stark contrast to your mood. Upon entering the karaoke room, you find a corner and isolate yourself with popcorn. Despite giving out clear signals that you’d rather not be disturbed, the officers pull you over to play ‘Truth or Dare’, calling it a necessary rite of passage for new members.
The rules are simple - when the mouth of the bottle points at you, you have to choose to answer a question truthfully, or do a dare.
You have very good luck, and the bottle continually points at other colleagues, and you get to hear all sorts of gossip, and witness several 'dares’.
After a while, the person responsible for spinning the bottle starts targeting you. When the mouth of the bottle finally points at you, you actually heave a sigh of relief.
It’s better to get this over and done with.
Without any hesitation, you pick ‘dare’. After all, there’s too big of a risk in choosing ‘truth’. A bespectacled colleague reads out your task.
“Choose one guy in the room, lean in close to his ear, and say the words: ‘I love you’.”
You freeze in place, a million emotions bustling in your heart.
Honestly speaking, you never really believed in coincidences before. You felt that these were just things used to dupe the superstitious. But at this moment, this meaningless game started making you believe that coincidences do exist.
Perhaps this is what people often call “fate”.
In the midst of the hooting from the audience in response to your task, you deliberately ignore the conflicted expression on Eli’s face. You stand up while your colleagues whip out their phones, ready to snap pictures and videos. They’re all ready to, as usual, capture memories they can look back on fondly each year.
Everyone is exuberant, and nobody notices your apprehension.
Your eyes fall on Gavin, who is seated at a corner. His brows are knitted slightly, expression indifferent. The black earrings on his ears reflect the cold light. When he doesn’t speak, he gives off an aura of not being close to anyone.
You imagine how he must have been like in high school - a bad boy with his hair dyed, riding a motorcycle, causing a ruckus in school, attaining poor grades, and always pretending to be cool by having earplugs in his ears while sitting at the corner of the classroom.
Until this day, a certain impatience can still be felt from this man. It’s very obvious, and can be noted with a single glance.
When your colleagues realise that your target is Gavin, the clamour grows even louder. Choosing a superior as a target of a dare - they must think that you have a playful spirit. You pause before Gavin, and the exaggerated exclamations are about to burst through the roof.
But when you muster the courage to lean in Gavin’s ear to say that phrase “I love you”, the surroundings lapse into silence almost immediately.
Maybe your expression was too serious. Maybe your tone was too sincere. Either way, everyone’s reaction tells you very clearly - you messed it up. The colleagues who were holding up their phones earlier in anticipation are now feeling awkward and not knowing what to do.
All is quiet.
That is, until Eli breaks the silence. “This round doesn’t count - it’s so boring. Let’s change the target. MC, what about me?”
Gavin purses his lips into a slight smile, patting Eli’s hand which is resting on his shoulder. “Get lost. Don’t use our female colleagues to joke around.”
With this, the tension in the air dissipates. Everyone diverts the topic, and they begin the next round.
In the next few hours, you drink a lot. You puke a lot too, and it feels as though your guts are about to spill out.
Eli is the one who sends you home. He supports you into the car, and you hear Gavin telling him softly, “Give me a call when you’ve reached.”
Because of what he says, you end up crying all the way home.
To you, he’s the perfect superior. A worthy comrade-in-arms. A righteous stranger. But he’ll never a reliable lover.
That night, you have a dream about Gavin.
In it, you can’t see his face clearly. He’s wearing a loose school uniform, and is alone in the basketball court, dribbling a ball, a plaster on his hand.
It’s a very realistic dream.
You’re sitting afar off and watching him. Occasionally, the ball would roll to a place near you. When you finally think of picking it up, you see Gavin running over. He’s so close that you can see strands of sweat-drenched hair on his forehead. You try reaching out to touch him, but you just can’t do it. It’s as though there’s a transparent film between the two of you. No matter how close you are, you can only be a member of the audience.
When you wake up, you’re facing the ceiling. Someone once told you that you’d forget the contents of your dreams the moment you turn. So you lie stiffly for a very long time, trying to remember as many details of the dream as you can.
Sunlight streams in through the curtains.
You finally turn to your side, and tears stream down the side of your face.
Even in dreams, you can’t obtain a happy ending.
-
[ 11 ]
After that night, because of your father’s position and how you faint at the sight of blood, you are quickly transferred to a commanding post instead of having to be deployed on missions.
In an instant, you become Gavin’s superior.
Unlike in fiction where female superiors who experience unrequited love torment the target of their affections, or use their position to seduce them, you have no intention of doing so. Instead, you simply treat him much more coldly than a normal superior would.
Occasionally, in the middle of night, you’d have the urge to ask him a question.
"Why can’t it be me?”
But you know that this question has been buried in the last page of your diary, hidden in the corner of your bookshelf. It decomposes in your innermost heart - a place where no one has ever seen.
Because you already know the answer.
On the night when make-believe turned out to be reality, you had leaned in close to his ear, and said “I love you” in a trembling voice. Back then, he had turned his face away slightly, his expression grave and stern, reminiscent of the marble stone that you used to touch when you were small.
You know that it’d never be you.
-
Sometimes, when Eli takes Gavin’s place to give reports, you’d pull him out for a meal and drinks.
On one particular evening when you had drunk quite a fair amount, he leaned on the table and looked at you. “Have you let go?”
You secretly stole a prawn from his plate. While munching on it, you responded, “I’ve let go.”
You truly have.
Which is why afterwards, when you and Gavin were selected as stellar graduates to return to your alma mater and give a speech, the emotions in your heart were not turbulent.
You vaguely remember that the sunset on that day was very beautiful.
The yellowish golden sun was gradually disappearing below the horizon, as beautiful as a painting - the most beautiful sunset in your life.
He stood by your side with a depth in his eyes - the most detailed stroke in this painting, etched onto your heart.
Although you tried to suppress the urge, you decided to speak. “I always hoped to get a chance to return to this place with you again. I didn’t think it’d come true. I’m left with no regrets.”
He frowned slightly. Even though he tried to conceal it, you could sense a twinge of awkwardness. He looked as though he wanted to speak, but didn’t.
You chuckled.
“I once thought that the reason why I came to STF, why I went on missions with you, and helped you take that bullet, was for you. But now I know that it was to complete myself.”
“I don’t need a response from you. In my years of youth, meeting someone like you was already my fortune.”
He froze, lapsing into a long silence. In the end, he says: “Thank you.”
His shoulders relaxed, as though he had set down a large boulder, and was relieved of a heavy load.
You had nothing much to regret. What’s there to regret? As compared to yourself, you’d prefer for him to get what he wanted.
Thousands of years ago, a poet called Su She once said that the flow of the river and the waning of the moon are simply temporary changes. From a broader, long-term perspective, they are never-changing.
When you first heard it, you weren’t able to draw any lessons from it.
But when you flipped through Khalil Gibran’s collection, you were finally enlightened. After being troubled for so many years, everything finally made sense with just one sentence.
Gibran said: “Love possesses not, nor will it be possessed. For love is sufficient unto love.”
-
[ Permission to translate ]
礼里图: You can move it over if you state the source. It’s even better when more people can like it~
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Sunny!!!! Ive been HOOKED to the Where The Roses Bloom and Where The Storm Gather series, I started yesterday and I couldn't stop reading, I truly love yn's relationships with everyone and youre such an amazing writer I just cant help but to fall in love with them even more 😍🥺
I do have a question, though. It says in the second book that Calum shaved his head, but I always imagines him with shaved head in the first book, are there any specific looks for the boys? Just so I can imagine them better in my head 🥺
You are truly so talented, I can't wait for the next chapter! 😍😍😍
I fucking love you 🥺💕 You truly made my day! Thank you so much for reading, I was afraid people didn’t like the story anymore, but this just made me so fucking happy 🥺😭🥰
And to answer your question: Yes, in my head each boy has a different look for each book, but then again that’s just my interpretation and the reader can view them as they want as well. But as the writer, each look has a meaning and let me explain why (and just imagine them in period clothing, I do not go as far with my editing skills.
Calum: We start book one with the famous curly hair/prince era and I always imagined him like that. Yet once they had to flee they needed to change so they don’t get recognized easily, hence the start of buzz cut stable lad calum. When it comes to his body, he was always buff but now with the training it’s more obvious.
Ashton: Ashton has the classic prince look in book one, always secure of himself and a bit messy as well with the curls. In book two, however, his looks change dramatically since he’s been locked up: his hair is up to his shoulders and he has a beard. Not to mention he lost weight and it’s very weak. And since there’s no pictures of Ashton looking like that, you’ll just have to use your imagination
Michael: He’s the one that’s been through the least changes when it comes to appearances. He’s obviously matured from book one to the second one, but nothing too major other than the length of his hair. I always imagined Michael with Mr. Whickman’s hair from P&P, long and well kept in a low ponytail and also in his natural color
Luke: this one’s my favorite 🥺 You see, Luke is always described with an “angel look” to him, which is pretty accurate. On book one he’s described with long, curly hair and broad shoulders and a baby face. In book two we can see him mature into his looks with shorter hair, a sharper face, a beard and an overall King-like image. After his last encounter with King Richard, he thought it was time that people stop seeing him as a kid and more like their King
And that’s pretty much it 🥺💕 I do have different aesthetics for each character as well (including y/n and Richard and Jack) but I can only post so much without this site banning me for no reason 😅
Thank you so much for reading the stories they tell and for bringing back the energy I needed to keep writing it 🥺💕
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coldhands identity is brave danny flint
Could Coldhands be Brave Danny Flint? It sounds crackpot, and very likely is, but the more I thought about it the more it appealed to me. I've done a quick search, one or two people seem to have floated this before but it's never had much in-depth analysis. This is my first meta, so please be gentle and C&C welcome.
The Gender Agenda
To start with, I'll start with the elephant in the room - Danny Flint was a girl, Coldhands is male. Or is he? Gilly, Meera, and Bran all refer to him as male, but they have no idea who he is, so would see Night's Watch clothes and assume. He wears a scarf over his face, and while they can see his eyes and that his face is pale, it took Bran's gang a decent amount of time to work out he was a walking corpse, so I'm not sure I trust them to figure out niceties like gender.
Leaf's "They killed him long ago" is more of a problem - she's a colleague, she would probably know. My best defence is that maybe Children of the Forest don't do gender in the same way as humans? This feels like a reach, but we have had another magical species with sexual fluidity leading to trouble with pronouns in the series. Otherwise, Leaf tends to hang out in the cave, Coldhands can't get in, maybe they're just not that close.
Finally, the main person to ask - Coldhands his or her self. The only other post I could see on reddit about this theory had someone respond with the quote "Once the heart has ceased to beat, a man's blood runs down into his extremities, where it thickens and congeals. His hands and feet swell up and turn as black as pudding. The rest of him becomes as white as milk", but I'd point out this is in third person and a generalization - "a man", not "me, Coldhands, the man".
Okay, now I've convinced everyone my theory is terrible, let's get into the meat of it.
Hands cold as stone
This was what got me into this rabbit hole in the first place - House Flint's sigil is "A grey stone hand upon a white inverted pall on paly black and grey". A stone hand would be pretty cold, right? In point of fact, when we first met Coldhands, the final line of the chapter describes "fingers hard as stone." On top of that, the white and black background seems to fit the Night's Watch blacks, pale face, black hands, white snow, etc.
Who the hell else could it be?
This has always been the weird thing about Coldhands for me. Honestly, there's a very good chance this is a non mystery mystery, he's a zombie Night's watch ranger riding an elk, do we really need a secret identity? However, "who is Coldhands?" is one of the most commonly asked questions in the fandom, so let's assume it's getting an answer. We know: a) night's watch member b) killed a long time ago, as reckoned by a 200 year old, c) not Benjen. There are essentially 3 historical periods where we know any specifics about the Night's Watch: 1) the long night/age of heroes, 2) Targaryen era, 3) recent history. If we work through these backwards, we can pretty much rule out the recent era for not meeting the criteria of "killed a long time ago". The Targaryen era didn't have much Night's Watch drama, a few kings sent to the wall at Aegon's conquest, Raymun Redbeard's invasion is wall related but the whole point of that story is that the Night's Watch failed to really get involved... the only strong contender from this period is a mysterious magical Targaryen bastard who went to the wall and went missing... but he's the other mysterious good zombie wandering around up north. The long night has a lot of Night's Watch focus, but it was 10,000 years ago. Allowing for this being in-universe exaggeration, it's still ~2,000 years ago, and if Coldhands were that old, I'm not sure he'd be in elk-riding mutineer-killing form, or at least not look passably human to Bran and co. This rules out specific timeline characters, which leaves more folkloric characters like Danny Flint, who isn't associated to any one point in time. There's a song, and she's treated as a well-known tale, which implies a fairly long time, but overall could be whenever. This works for any of the folkloric Night's Watch characters, but the Rat King is already otherwise occupied with a different cannibalistic pseudo immortality, leaving Mad Axe, who does have the massacring fellow brothers down pat, but doesn't feel thematically right to me. This section really grew in the writing, but TL;DR - assuming Coldhands is someone we've heard of before, no specific historical figures seem to match up chronologically, leaving figures from folk tales and songs, which there are only so many of.
Mutineer Massacre
For a character we've all obsessed over so much, it's easy to forget how little we've seen of Coldhands. His role in the story has effectively been "transport Sam and Gilly to the wall, transport Bran and co to Bloodraven, massacre the Night's Watch mutineers". Hold up, one of those things is not like the others. During his quest to get Bran to Bloodraven, to awake the messiah and save the world, Coldhands takes a break and makes a detour to kill the Night's Watch Mutineers from Crasters. This is explicitly noted to be something they slow down for, when time is critical. Admittedly, it secures the party some delicious Long Pork when supplies are low, but even in aDwD it seems like there are other ways to get meat than to hunt humans, besides which he kills not one but five mutineers. He claims it is because the mutineers are following them, but Meera points out they've been circling for days - it seems Coldhands deliberately sought the mutineers out. The brutality of the kills also suggests more than utilitarian pragmatism - there are entrails slung through branches and severed heads! All of this to say, Coldhands is deliberately shown as both a member of the Night's Watch, and willing/going out of his way to punish Night's Watch brothers who break their vows and harm their fellow brothers, something Danny Flint might take personally. Basically, it's a classic exploitation movie with an elk-riding zombie as the wronged woman hunting down wrongdoers. Someone call Tarantino to direct this.
A True Night's Watch
One of the big themes GRRM loves is the idea that outsiders to an institution can be the truest embodiment of that institution - Dunk and Brienne are the truest Knights, Davos is the truest lord, the Manderlys are the most loyal northerners. Coldhands already seems to tie into this - the Night's Watch are tireless defenders from the Others and their Wights, so ironically the staunchest ranger is undead as well. It would only emphasise this theme if this ultimate Night's Watch ranger was someone who was barred from entry, had to sneak in, and was murdered by their brothers for not belonging. There also seems to be a thematic tie in that Danny Flint had to essentially infiltrate the Night's Watch and keep her cover in hostile terrain, much like Coldhands in the Others controlled north.
Bonding over being murdered by your brothers
Coldhands has so far been very much one of Bran's cast, but it's worth noting characters can switch storylines, and we have someone else in the North who can soon relate to being a back-from-the-dead Night's Watchman fighting the Others - I'm hardly the first to note the Coldhands/Jon parallels, but Coldhands being another character who was murdered by the Night's Watch due to their conservatism and hatred of outsiders would add another layer.
Miscellany
A couple of quotes I found while researching for this:
“Did Mance ever sing of Brave Danny Flint?” “Not as I recall. Who was he?” (ADWD Jon XII)
- Tormund and Jon talking, Tormund mistaking Danny Flint for a man, this feels like one of those throw-away lines GRRM likes to include to make a little double meaning once the truth is out, or just seeding the idea of mistaking Danny Flint for a man.
“The ranger wore the black of the Night’s Watch, but what if he was not a man at all?" (ADWD Bran I)
- again, I could see GRRM giggling as he typed that if this theory were true.
Conclusion
Honestly, there is every chance this is absolute nonsense, and I've just lost it waiting for TWoW. I tend to lean towards Coldhands not having a big identity reveal, he's an undead ranger co-opted by Bloodraven and that's enough. However, if Coldhands is to have an identity reveal, I think Danny Flint deserves consideration: there aren't that many viable candidates, her story is emotionally intense enough and has been referred to often enough that a casual fan could be expected to go "oh!" instead of "...let me google that", and it would fit with existing themes of the story. The angle of Jon parallels even gives an opening for the reveal to be natural and facilitate character and thematic arcs, which is what I look for in a theory.
comment on reddit
Yeah, the Flint (of Flint's Finger) sigil literally being a Cold Hand is what sold me on this when I started looking into it. There's also some other intriguing textual stuff about it...
The weird thing about Danny Flint is that she is only mentioned three times in all of ASOIAF. Three! Bran recounts her tale in Bran IV, ASOS; Theon hears Wyman Manderly demand her song in The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD; and Jon discusses her tale with Tormund in Jon XII, ADWD.
This was kind of shocking to me. Danny Flint is a pretty recognizable name to, I’d figure, the majority of attentive readers. I thought she must have been mentioned before the third book, at least, but… nope. Her tale is first introduced to us in Bran IV, ASOS, the Nightfort chapter… Oh, what’s that? Wait, isn’t that… the very same Nightfort chapter where we first hear about Coldhands? (Well, no, actually, he appears at the end of Samwell III before that, but this is the first chapter where he is identified as Coldhands.) Chronologically, Sam meets Coldhands, Bran thinks about Danny Flint, and then Sam introduces Bran to Coldhands, in fairly quick succession.
So it seems GRRM came up with Danny Flint and Coldhands around the exact same time. Interesting. Danny Flint is then not mentioned again until ADWD, when the Coldhands mystery is developed further. Double interesting.
Also, the Bran chapter directly preceding the Nightfort chapter– our first introduction to Danny Flint– is the one where Meera tells him the story of the Knight of the Laughing Tree, another tale of a northern warrior woman dressing as a man and hiding her face in service of some greater goal. Stretch? Maybe.
And why would Coldhands' face be covered at all if there WASN'T some big reveal upcoming? What utility would that have? That scarf clearly seems like a setup for SOMETHING. He doesn't need it for warmth. He's likely hiding a face that would make him recognizable to Bran/Meera/Jojen (and the readers), but died long ago... the only way that reveal could work without a ton of laborious exposition is if he took off the scarf and it was obviously a 'female' face, making it obviously Danny. It also seems likely Coldhands will interact with at least Bran and Meera again, both of whom are somewhat connected to Danny Flint’s story– Bran via his love of stories and legends, and Meera via the breaking of gender roles. So there's thematic levels to it as well.
source www . reddit . com/r/asoiaf/comments/llwm8m/coldhands_identity_spoilers_extended/
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Oneshot #2: Three times someone checked out Darcy’s ass and the one time he didn’t mind it
Description: A crackfic based on this post I made a few days ago. Basically what it says in the title and it plays during the canon era. The main pairing is BillDarcy.
words: 1645
A/N: To be honest, I don’t even know what this is, I just suddenly had this idea yesterday when I originally wanted to write the little idea for a Jojo/Elmer-Oneshot I have in my head. But hey, if there are things I’m good at, it’s procrastinating and doing things wrong, so here we are. As always, it’s possible that there are mistakes regarding grammar and spelling (I checked for them but since English isn’t my first language I might have forgotten something). It would be nice if you left a comment.
I hope you enjoy,
Sincerely, me,
Lélodie
—–
I.
Darcy hated puberty. Pimples were scattered all over his face and a few days ago, his mother had helped him trying to figure out how to shave his face without cutting himself. Still, there were some leftovers of an incision on one of his cheeks.
The worst thing was that he hadn’t even had something that he could have called a ‘beard’. But he had overheard some of his classmates talking about the positive effect of having a beard – looking more mature and therefore having a better chance with the ladies they wanted to court. Darcy himself didn’t want to court a lady, yet he always wanted to look more mature so that his father might stop treating him a like little child. So, after a lot of insistence on his part, his mother had helped him with the soft hairs over his upper lip and on the sides of his face and he regretted it.
He was attending some important event, where all the influential persons in the world of newspapers were gathered. And he was there with a bright red face, full of signs of imperfections.
“Look at that fancy new suit! Darcy, puberty’s starting to grow on you.”
Startled, Darcy turned around and was promptly hugged by one of his best childhood friends, Katherine Pulitzer. “Kathy, I’m glad you could make it,” he said, quickly hugging her back.
Katherine freed herself from the embrace. “I couldn’t leave you guys alone with all these people now, could I? But back to what I said, when did your ass get this gorgeous? Or is it just the suit?”
Darcy choked on his own spit. He was always surprised by Katherine’s bluntness. A blush spread out over his whole face as he truly realised what she had said and he made an embarrassed sound. “My ass is the same as always, thank you very much. The only thing that’s changing is the constellations of pimples on my face.” He grimaced.
“Uh, how poetic. Maybe you want to write my next article, then I’ll have a lot more free time.”
“Kathy, I’m having a serious problem here.” Darcy threw a glance at the people surrounding them, making sure they were out of earshot. Then, he whispered, “How can I face Bill when my face looks like I’ve been burned by the sun, over and over again?”
Katherine was the only one who knew of his infatuation with Bill – his other childhood friend. She had also been the one who had helped him overcoming his long phase of self-hatred because he was falling in love with another boy. At first, there had been all these thoughts like: “It’s wrong. Two boys can’t love each other.” But when Katherine had told him that she as well did like people the same gender as hers, he had felt a lot better. He wasn’t the only one. He wasn’t hurting anyone. So why should he be ashamed of who he loved?
“Don’t worry, Darce. I think it looks cute. And if he doesn’t like it, you can always show him your ass.” Katherine winked.
Again, Darcy blushed. “What’s it with you and my… butt?”
Katherine just shrugged inscrutably and led him to the buffet.
When they met Bill, he didn’t mention the pimples. He also didn’t mention that Darcy’s suit was apparently too tight around his ass. He had only brought life to the butterflies in Darcy’s stomach when he had constantly readjusted Darcy’s glasses and therefore brushed his skin from time to time.
II.
A soft breeze was caressing Darcy’s hair as he and Katherine wandered along the streets of New York, arm in arm. Katherine was going on about some vaudeville show she had to review that night, until they came across the Newsboys’ lodging house. A smile appeared on her face as they watched some kids dancing around, presumably on their way to the circulation gate. Darcy knew how she admired these kids that had nothing and still seemed to be so happy to at least have each other.
Since the kids weren’t walking really fast, Katherine and Darcy caught up with them and Darcy rolled his eyes as one of the boys started flirting with Katherine. It was always like this. Katherine was a beautiful girl and therefore, she caught the attention of many boys on the street. But only some of them mustered up the courage to actually speak to her.
Trying to suppress a sigh, Darcy let his gaze wander and couldn’t help but notice some boys passing them while the presumable leader flirted with Katherine. He blinked. Had he just imagined it or were two of the boys checking him out? He lowered his head, not daring to look back at them and not really listening to Katherine’s conversation.
He took a deep breath, fiddled with his hands and eventually glanced back at the two boys he had noticed. He nearly let out a surprised gasp as he caught one of the boys checking out his ass once again. A blush crept up his neck. The boy noticed him looking back and winked.
Darcy had never been more glad of Katherine taking control than in this moment. Oblivious to Darcy’s own problem, she grabbed his arm tighter and led him away from the newsies.
He took another deep breath. Had the boy been flirting with him? Darcy couldn’t handle people flirting with him. The only exception was Bill but that didn’t really count, considering that Bill was his lover. Which Darcy still couldn’t quite believe. He and Bill were a thing. Bill had been the one to take the first step, turning a little moment of them cuddling into a sweet, intoxicating kiss.
Darcy smiled and it didn’t take long for him to forget the incident with the newsies.
III.
Apparently, people did have a thing for his butt. That was the conclusion Darcy came to when he was ready cleaning the printing press and went to put on his coat. Bill had already left the cellar, presumably talking with Katherine and Jack outside.
He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help but hear two voices, a few feet away, seemingly not noticing his presence.
“… yeah, but one of 'em definitely had a stick up his ass.” The heavy Brooklyn accent in this voice was obvious and Darcy suspected that the boy talking was that Spot Conlon that every single newsie seemed to either fear or respect.
“Obviously. He’s refused ta shake Jack’s hand when he’d spit on it,” the other person laughed. It was also a boy but Darcy couldn’t quite place who the voice belonged to.
Was he talking about Darcy? It would make sense, considering that Spot had talked about two people specifically and he and Bill were the odd ones out (Katherine didn’t count since she had already been involved in the strike before they had been printing the banner tonight). Suddenly, Darcy felt offended. Just because he had manners didn’t mean that he was uptight.
“But you have to admit, it’s a pretty nice ass,” the person whose voice Darcy didn’t recognize answered.
It took Darcy all strength he could muster up not to cough and make his presence known. That would be even weirder than only hearing people talk about his ass. He hurried with putting on his coat, while contemplating listening a little more. Of course he was embarrassed but he kind of wanted to know what else the boys had to say.
“You’s right, Race.” A pause. “But do ya know who also has a great ass?”
Alright, that was Darcy’s cue to leave.
+ IV.
“I can’t believe you!” Darcy exclaimed while Bill only laughed more and more. He sighed. “I shouldn’t have told you, I knew it.”
“I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you, Darce, but that’s just too funny,” Bill said, letting his fingers run over Darcy’s arm, yet not even trying to suppress his laughter. “Why did I never notice that your butt is apparently so interesting?”
“I hate you,” Darcy retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest, all the while trying to come up with a convincing pout.
Bill stopped laughing at that but the smirk didn’t leave his face. “No, you don’t.” His voice was soft and he moved closer to his lover. “Do you want to know what makes you the most handsome in my opinion?”
Darcy threw him a sceptical glance and let his arms fall to his side again. “What is it?”
“Your nose.”
“My nose?” Darcy let out a small laugh. “Seriously?”
“Well, it is,” Bill replied and shoved him lightly. “Especially when you’re wearing your glasses.” He raised his hand and started to trace the rim of Darcy’s glasses, gently, as if he was afraid of breaking them. Darcy’s breath hitched. “Shoving your smartness in everyone’s faces.”
“Glasses don’t make people smart.” Darcy remembered the time he thought that he would seem more mature when he acted as if he indeed had a real beard. In retrospect, he nearly laughed at that.
“But they make people look smart. And smart people are very, very attractive.” To prove his former point, Bill planted a short kiss on Darcy’s nose.
Darcy smiled. Then he leaned back a bit and took off his glasses. “But what happens when I stop wearing my glasses and don’t look smart any more?” He teased.
Bill made a face like he was thinking about something real intensely. Eventually, he embraced Darcy and smirked. “Then you still got your ass to show off,” he whispered, letting his hands wander lower and lower over Darcy’s back.
For once, Darcy didn’t mind someone paying attention to his butt.
#newsies#crackfic#billdarcy#darcy reid#newsies musical#livesies#Bill hearst#katherine plumber pulitzer#katherine pulitzer#jack kelly#albert dasilva#buttons newsies#racetrack higgins#spot conlon#sprace#fanfiction#newsies fanfiction#fangirl#fandom#newsies broadway#musical#oneshot#writing#writer#darcy newsies#canon era#fanfic#newsies fanfic#fluff#attempt at humor
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Thoughts on the 7th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware
Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6
Can we get an MTC ep for Samatoki’s birthday please?
nope its MTR
ah man i always get really down whenever i see Doppo’s workplace environment. it suckssss
EYYYYY BUSTER BROS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i forgot the name of the song in the moment but is Ikebukuro West Gate Park which is funny since thats where the ikebukuro prelims are held)
OOO IRIS ON A MOTERBIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! thats so hot oh my god, the CGI was good too! she had no right making to popping a wheelie over speedbumps look cool
Tom mentioned last episode that he had picked these three up from bad places and I have a feeling that Iris was once either an adrenaline junkie, thrill seeker, or involved in something that had her on the run
I don’t know about Rex. I think society just took one look at him and pushed him away because his personality is weird. He’s honest and kind, almost too kind. It don’t help that he doesn’t look traditionally Japanese which will garner him a lot of unpleasant experiences
MTCCCCCCCCCCC HELL YEAH
love that theyre one of the few units shown actually going out and doing intel searching on their own
god the TDD flashbacks harken to the manga and thats so cool
There’s a lot of underline threads going on in here and its going to be hard keeping track of them. I hope that the anime doesn’t choke itself on all the threads
T.REX is hilarious i think i might actually grow to like him. he’s a dumb himbo
ah even more threads and previous connections. i really really really hope that everything is ties up nicely by the end of the season though that doesn’t seem plausible, not with only 5 episodes remaining
OH GOD WHY WAS YOTOSUJUJI BROUGHT UP NOW IM TEARING UP
ah of course robberies are going to happen on the day of the rap battle
That ruikawa guy is suspicious. it might be my INFP speaking but his kindness seems a bit weird
ah yeah red flags right there. he’s definitely one of the robbers or in cahoots with them
ah yeah hes a robber. theres no doubt about that. “ive found a place to release what builds up inside me”. thats crime isn’t it. the fact that he won’t talk about it just raises more red flags
ahahaha see i was right
hey at least it was doppo’s hardass boss. could be someone more innocent and less asshole-y
YOU JUST GAVE YOUR INDEITY AWAY ASSHOLE wow even doppo caught on
EYYYY SHINJIKU STYLE!!!!! HELL YEAH
Those stills are absolutely mesmerizing though.
i love the sense of trust and mentorship between matenro with Jakurai as Hifumi and Doppo’s mentors. At least that’s the feeling I get with them ahaha
Doppo’s english is a bit harsh but also weirdly fits his style. im a bit mixed on it but with the whole song being more melancholic with english sprinkled in, it matches the theme
The song itself is such a mellow and soothing song though. Its different than Maternro’s usual work and its a good different. I love the subway and old timey imagery that came with the song and the image of a subway train lighting up the way to a new path is such a great way of showing that there are different paths and different destinations that one can take. Even if you take the same train, you can end up in a different place. The light imagery in particular is just so good since Ruikawa’s original line of the city being a beacon of light for him is mirrored in the song.
The lyrics especially are so soft and powerful with the imagery within the words being simultaneously rough and tumble but also soft and reassuring. It seems more like a lament or a elegy to a life that could have been if they had gotten on a different train. I love the lyrics, especially the chorus since it speaks of mundane things but things that everyone can understand and relate to
it also carries mad Spirited Away vibes. It’s also called Falling which I think is pretty fitting
the only thing that I don’t like about the song Jakurai’s vocal beats within his verse. Usually it works since there’s a big beatboxing feel to those beats but with Jakurai his lyrical rap doesn’t mesh well with the harsh guttural sounds beatboxing
The pain of having one of your few friends betray you hurts and wow this episode is out to make me feel a lot of sympathy for Doppo
SMILING DOPPO!!!
Hell yeah they actually had a plan and followed through with it
Did they just set up the MTC episode lmao. thats sneaky
OOh that beat change for FP ending is so nice!!
--
I think I’m only noticing this just now but the episode titles are all famous quotes from people/proverbs.
Ep. 1) “As Soon as Man is Born, He Begins to Die“ This is an old proverb. Who said it I don’t know and a quick internet search gave me nothing, but its commonly said to convey the meaning that nothing lasts forever. IDK why this proverb was chosen since there’s no indication of any of the teams disbanding any time soon except for TDD era teams which have already happened
Ep. 2) “Speak of the Devil and He Will Appear“ Again, another old idiom which dates back to the 16th century. This one is probably about Ichiro and how he appears whenever he is called or whenever he is needed. Though it could be a overall commentary on how the brothers are reliable no matter the situation
Ep. 3) “Two Heads Are Better Than One” - John Heywood This quote describes DoHifu pretty well. Its because these two work and rely on each other that they’re able to not only make it through each day but also make each day worth living. Because they help each other, but they’re not the same, they’re better for it. This could also apply to MTR as a whole being a team where each member thinks outside the box and their ideas collectively make such an interesting team
Ep. 4) “A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed” This one is an 11th century proverb which explains that in times of need, true friends will show their colors. That's the main mentality behind MTC though I believe that it applies to Rio in particular for this episode. While the entirety of MTC are willing to help each other in times of need, in this episode it mainly focused on Samatoki and Rio’s plights and how the members as a whole show that they are all true friends to each other
Ep. 5) “Seeing is Believing” The origins of this quote is blurry but there the bible seems to be the origin of this statement believe it or not. While it does fit the episode’s theme of ghosts and how rumor's can harm people and businesses, it doesn’t really describe FP like the other quotes do the other teams. I find it odd, but I hope that FP are redeemed in their next feature episode. FP deserves better and are being done dirty in the anime.
Ep. 6) “He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best” - The Christmas Prince. I think this one is pretty nice in describing not only the episode but the series as a whole. It doesn’t matter who’s winning in the begging, or the middle. The final outcome is what really matters. It’s pretty apt for the series since even though The Party of Words are winning currently, its who wins by the end of the series that matters. The episode encompasses this pretty well too with the whole plotline.
Ep. 7) “The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn” Dating back to 1950 ish, this one carries the simple There is hope in the worst circumstances message. Again, its pretty suitable for the series as a whole since the Party of Words might be making life harsh, but there’s still hope to be found in the world.
Ep. 8) “Dead men tell no tales” - Thomas Becon. NGL, this one scares me because it can either apply to MTC, or the universe as a whole. We’ll just have to wait till next week to know for sure but i think we’ll get some Jyuto angst with his parents
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Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?
i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now
#10: Katamari Damaci
I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.
I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.
#9: Undertale
This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.
#8: Fallout: New Vegas
I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)
#7 Super Mario World
When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.
#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)
I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.
#6: Breath of the Wild
I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)
#5: Halo 2
Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.
#3: Final Fantasy X
You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)
#2: Bloodborne
Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...
#1: Civilization VI
This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...
there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?
#mix between HARDCORE judgement and like. yea. yea ff10 was pretty good wasnt it#but i dont think its anywhere near the best of them#long post#im read mores dont work imm so fucking sorry this is so long#MOST of these games are good its just so wild its so wild its SO wild#asks#Anonymous
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