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mineofilms · 2 years

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Experrectus te ipsum

As we are at the halfway point of 2022; I have noticed I have been a little more, if not a lot more, outspoken about the level of incompetence that is our politics in the United States is. Both sides… I have issues with, but to understand the concept of, the lessor of two evils, I tend to sway more right, but that doesn’t make me a republican. Not at all... I do not go with everything they say or believe in. I hate cliques, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend in this case…

Of my eleven blogs I have published this year, so far, about half of them have some sort of political rant or ideology being discussed about how people think these days has been well pronounced. When I started blogging back in 2015 in this form I had stated that I was doing this to break out the creativity in order to write fiction. I have done very little of that. Sure, I have written some, but nothing to really brag about. My short-story was nearly six years ago. I have yet to write the next one. I was working on a novel till I got sick and I haven’t gotten back to that. I have let my disability get in the way of so much that when I started writing again, in towards the end of 2020, that I would only write a few blogs and get back to working on my fictional projects. I haven’t even mentioned the whole lot of them. Just the few here there over those two years.

With all that said, I plan to get back to that after this last blog. This will be my last blog about the subject of Politics and Woke Culture. Baring anything new happening that is so major that it requires it to be addressed; I am going to move onto my projects and blog about other things. I still have another Star Trek theme blog I want to write. I want to do something on the status of social media. Next will be working on a short horror story I have been thinking about since the start of the year. The blog “Kummituksia” explains the subject matter if one likes lore on such things. I’m big on lore and things making sense in my fiction absorption. “Kummituksia” was an attempt to break out some of that thinking while also drawing out some of the concepts I want to build on in the fictional sense.

The first thing I want to diatribe about are these fake news articles with big bold headlines I see on the Facebook from the New York Post, Huffington Post, CNN, FOX, shit, all of them pretty much. Man… If this doesn’t just get under my skin every time I see these. I have spoken about this before in other blogs, but this isn’t blind posting. Blind Posting would be if someone shares it to their social media platform and doesn’t summarize the article first and/or give their opinion of it. If they just post it with nothing, just share it. Why did they do that? What was their intention? What, to click it and read it? Well, why the hell would I do that? That poster gave me no reason to. They said nothing about the post. That is blind posting. What I am describing are the clickbait articles. These companies just want you to click on their poorly written opinion on a subject, but advertising it as either worthy news or air-quotes, “FACTS…”

The world is changing… We are living this change… Change is never pleasant… The INTERNET gives everyone a voice, and that voice is loud… However, just because something is loud doesn’t make it good or right. Volume is not a measurement of quality. We are all more disconnected than connected, even though we are very connected in the literal sense than ever before and we can see what is happening in the world in real-time, but with little to no proper context. Without context we are left to our own vices of how we see real to make a decision on something. The media wants to control that context, with that, they can control you, I, we, us… Context to them is their skeleton key to all the locked doors to our perception.

No Organization Should Have That Level of Control…

We are in the middle of a war on language, what a “FACT” is and conceptual awareness with the ever growing cult, the WOKE… Those people are always looking for new things to be offended by and new ways to be outraged about. To change things in the name of progress. Well if one is going backward how are they progressing, exactly? You have these people, clearly with mental health issues, talking about biology, which is science based. So unless one works in science or studies science stuff they probably shouldn’t comment about the validity of what is or isn’t a biological “FACT.” You have these people using phrasing like, “definitions are oppressive and dangerous…”

So now to define a thing that is a thing, is now oppressive and dangerous? Just another false logic bubble of “you cannot define me,” self-serving narcissistic attitude. So I suppose I should rehash what it is to be WOKE. I still get people who do not have a clear definition of what that is. So strap in I am about to oppress you and that should be dangerous to you…

How spooky… But first a word from our sponsor 😆…

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In the beginning 😆... The first I heard the word being used was around 2010 and on. The original definition of its modern-day usage is to describe YouTube conspiracy theorists using it to describe something that "they were in the know about." Meaning they knew something about a conspiracy theory that someone or others didn't know so they were considered/called "WOKE" about a subject. The Moon is a hologram or the Flat Earth Theory. Something crazy along those lines. If one had inside information on a subject they were considered WOKE.

A few years back, maybe around the time all the Trump stuff started to appear about him running for president or maybe it was slightly after he got in office? I am really not sure on the specific time this happened. In and around this time, the Right-handed media hijacked the word "WOKE" to use it to describe the Extreme LEFT. This isn't the same as being LEFT.

No...

Being LEFT or a Democrat is not the same as being on the Extreme LEFT. The reason why, maybe it isn't even a reason, but how I have interpreted this difference in labeling what a group is and what it may be standing for; attributes to become a member of the Extreme LEFT:

1) As someone that isn't RIGHT or Republican.

2) Hates the Right side of the, and any discourse.

3) A member of Cancel Culture or groups that support radical change in our cultural society, under the umbrella of being "progressive," but have their own agendas at play.

4) People who put Political Correctness and their own point of view above common sense, critical thinking, logic & proper scientific knowledge.

5) Members of the Karen/Kevin "Cannot Mind Their Own Business” Club.

6) Delusional people who follow delusional subject matter.

7) People that have an identity crisis on a daily basis.

8) Batshit-Hypersensitive People who throw out victim cards like someone at a strip club throwing dollar bills at the performers.

9) Network Marketing People/Influencers who try to sell you bullshit ideologies on social media and when you either shoot them down for being scammers or their business plan doesn't work for you they try to turn the tables and attempt to bully you to believe you are the one at fault.

10) If you deny an Extreme LEFT POV you are bullied to be made to believe the fault lies within your perception/philosophy, not theirs.

11) If you deny an Extreme LEFT POV you are CANCELED.

12) People who want to be at the top, but ignore they must start at the bottom (no longer believes in prerequisites)...

These types can be considered the EXTREME LEFT because they have "some" things in common with the LEFT, but take it to the, "this one goes to 11" or "Ludacris SPEED, Go" Hyper-Intention to the nith degree, defying common freakin' sense. Even, Normal, Left-sided people cannot stand the WOKE = Extreme LEFT...

One of the main, "true," reasons why the word WOKE is closely associated to racial stuff is that it was used in an article (1962 New York Times Magazine article titled "If You're Woke You Dig It" by a black novelist William Melvin Kelley) and a play (Garvey Lives! by Barry Beckham), decades ago. Then used again during the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri in 2014 in the modern era.

In the play, the word is used in incorrect English to describe the past or pre-tense of awake, waken, awoke. Not all English is worded correctly when spoken aloud, especially by the uneducated (in this case, used by blacks that didn't have any schooling and just talked how they talked). Should be noted I am not being racist by saying this. It’s true. It’s a part of black culture in this country and still is.

Black America makes its own English slang for words and how they spell names and pronounce them. All the minority races do this. This isn’t new, its cultural diversity. I see no issues with this at all. Is it correct English, no, but who cares. They know what they are saying. It’s us, people, who do not know, who are not educated in "hood talk."

I do not even know how to say it without it sounding racist. I believe people of all colors are now referring this to as "hood talk." Fine by me, as long as we have a word to describe it without it sounding racist, and everyone gets it, I am on board with that. No network marketing to sell me there. Since 2014, WOKE, has been used to talk about social injustices other than race-related instances since the Right-Handed Media hijacked the word to describe the Extreme Left.

Now I believe it has 2 definitions currently being used. The one I mentioned above, Woke = Extreme LEFT and the other to describe "social" injustice, non-exclusive to racial injustice, but racial injustice is a bullet point for social injustice, not its own separate thing; which is what the WOKE are trying to tell people.

The INTERNET has provided us with a plethora of information, which may not always be created equal and accurate. Some can be so quick to share their opinions on social media without thinking about the potential consequences. It's important to take a step back sometimes and think about where you're getting your information from and how it affects your opinions. Not all information is created equal and accurate, twice now I have said that. Take note… You want to know about something it is going to take more than a Google Voice search and have your phone dictate it to you in thirty seconds to gain a respectable understanding of what is being said about the topic at hand. That can help sure, but it should only draw you in to dig even more on a subject. Not portraying yourself as an expert in the field. While no one can challenge one on the subject.

In the wake of the Texas school shooting, many people are trying to make sense of what happened. After two weeks it has already started to go away on social media. Sure, the algorithms are pumping out more bullshit by the day. I have noticed across all my platforms that the few thousand people, when you add them all up, that I follow and/or follow me, are no longer talking about it. Social media is not a place for debate and discussion, but it's a place where people can share their opinions and get validation from other users who agree with them. Social media has created a culture where people can't be wrong. It's important that we don't let ourselves get caught up in these echo chambers that social media creates, because it's not reality. We need to UnWoke ourselves and realize that there are multiple sides to every story. Not just the two that the media likes to spew. This is right and this is wrong. It is never just that simple to be ying and/or yang. I do not support the right/wrong as the only way to discuss things. It’s all about the finer details, concepts, perspective, point of view(s), philosophy and the information systems that go into that.

Many people are feeling overwhelmed by all the information they are seeing on social media and want to UnWoke themselves from that world. I have also seen the extreme opposite. There are people I follow that I know locally that spend so much time trying to be some big moral high ground advocate for self-belief on social media and I just cringe when I see those TikTok videos. They use every single video trope and cliché that is available. They literally blend in with all the other fools that are constantly doing it. I get the intention. I think it is great they are trying, but I am not a fan of the quick, easy, consume my message and me in 90 seconds or in-less-than 120 typed characters mentality of communication and absorption of raw information.

I just think of it as sort of classless and lazy. I cannot really tell you why I feel that way about it, but I do. It feels generic, unauthentic, fake, and phony. It is why I am always picking on those network marketing fitness influencers. I really do loathe the social media influencer, whatever the subject matter is. That is a major contributor of this sort of bullshit where if we cannot make it at, whatever it is, we’ll change the criteria so that we can. If people fuss, we’ll just cancel or bully them till they quit. Oh, they snapped and bought a rifle and now want to shoot our kids? Oh, damn, it must be that rifle’s fault not the person wielding it. I know what we’ll do, we’ll call it, “a weapon of war.” Yeah, we’ll make a rifle seem like an assault weapon, like the Army men carry, oh shit, we cannot say Army men anymore because that is sexist.

It is easy to laugh at this stuff and I did for years till it started to pour over into my reality. It was like almost overnight that I, me, my personality, my persona wasn’t good enough and I needed to change it. If I don’t it will be forced upon me. First it was my attitude, then my job, then my health, then my mental health, then my ability to earn or work for myself. All of the sudden the world was a different place one could no longer state the obvious about basic things.

The world has changed and still changing. There are more and more shootings that happen every day. It is no longer safe to go to a public place without feeling scared of what might happen. It is no longer safe to go out at night without feeling scared of what might happen. It is no longer safe to be in a relationship with someone who might do something, because it's not always easy to tell the difference between their words and actions anymore. It is no longer safe at church. It is no longer safe at schools. It is no longer safe to go to concerts or other public gatherings because everyone is afraid of what “might” or “could” happen… What “might” or “could” happen has always been at play. That has never changed. I do not know why that concept is treated like it is new, oppressive and dangerous?

My last blog about, “Tuum Non Conscientiam,” goes in a little more detail why we won’t get the sort of gun reform that the Extreme Left and the President are literally screaming for. Like I said earlier, volume is a not a measurement of quality. The President can literally scream all he wants to. No one is listening. They are laughing… Do we need to better control the flow of guns to mentally unstable adults that have the mentality of conceptual awareness with right/wrong in mind? Absolutely… However, a rifle isn’t “a weapon of war.” It is a rifle. Rifles are for hunting, not defense. Can they be modified, adapted and/or used for other purposes other than what they are intended for? Absolutely… Check just about every tool a person can obtain. They all can be modified to be made to be used for other tasks other than what they were designed to. I probably do this on my PC with computer software on a daily basis. I modify software, apps, retro game ROMs, just about anything where I can program different instructions into a system and that system accepts the commands and those commands make the program do something other than what it was built for. You can go on YouTube and see many hacks like this on just about anything you can think of.

Like I stated before… If they cannot change the law, then they go after the definitions of what they are trying to change. A rifle is now considered a “weapon of war.” “Definitions are oppressive and dangerous.” Even Disney and Star Wars are doing it. They did this with the character of Rose from “The Last Jedi.” She is an Asian actress and word on the INTERNET was that she was heavily bullied and called racist names on social media because of her role in Star Wars.

Lately, Disney issued out a statement about Moses Ingram, a black actress in the new Obi-Wan Kenobi show on Disney+, has been getting hate on her social media about her skin color. All blamed on the “toxic fandom” of Star Wars fans. Now I am not saying she and actress Kelly Marie Tran are not getting hate mail that is racist-ically charged. I am sure they are. However, Disney and Star Wars are creating this racist tension by having this take without any real evidence of this existing. I mean, you are always going to have few twats out there trolling other people and saying horrible things to them just to get a rise out of them because of how one might feel about their body of work in entertainment. That has been around forever. That isn’t new. Even being an ignorant jerk about that isn’t new.

I am willing to bet that more than some of these alleged comments of racism are just people using that card, because they know it can hurt. Regular folk that cannot communicate or articulate their argument, but are angry will just say whatever they can to get noticed. We have all done that. Maybe not race-related, like we have here, but we have all said some BS logical things to someone else just to piss them off or hurt their feelings. That isn't being constructive with a take, the intention is to hurt, not to share the idea of "this sucks and here is why" mentality.

I never had a problem with Rose being Asian, that is crazy that Disney is using that for the excuse of poor characterology within the writing of the character. Hell, the coolest Star Wars character from the original Star Wars Trilogy was Lando. So do not give me this crap that the Star Wars Fandom is inherently racist. A whole lot of people were pissed, because that character took up a lot of screen time that didn't pay off emotionally. There wasn't even a solid reason for her character to exist within the logic of the story within "The Last Jedi." That whole movie from a writing point of view was a hot FK’n mess yo... Just like in Picard Seasons II, we are supposed to care about all the "butterfly tear" moments in the season that were not setup properly to warrant that level of emotional reaction from us to care to begin with.

You cannot phone that stuff in as a writer. I have a film degree, I write and how some of this lazy and poor writing gets a pass... Yeah, it should be called out as bad. However, for them to come back with, “toxic fandom of Star Wars fans are racist" for having a problem with bad writing that is just horse shit and that is just another example of why WOKE-ism is a terrible idea. I spent more time in the past two years wasted on writing about the WOKE and their ways over writing fiction. Glad that is finally coming to an end. I do think if one is going to voice their opinions on pop culture, media, film, music, they sort of have to approach it like writing a research paper. One has to be very clear as to what they are talking about, because the WOKE takes the time to attempt to find holes in one's logic and if they cannot they just make up something that fits or at least is plausible to fit in their argument. To make your opinion look devalued and now even racist.

My issue with WOKE-Disney is they are saying if you do not like our minority characters, for whatever reason, then you’re racist and that just isn’t true. I have stated above, you’re going to get some of that from the trolls. It is a given and isn’t likely to change any time soon. Angry people will say whatever they got to say, including racist shit, to get their point across, but it stops being a point of view once a person plays that race card with the intention to hurt. At that point a take or opinion has lost its creditability. I get the why’s… I also support writing someone off that uses racist remarks with the intention to hurt and not to educate. We should be able to have conversations about race issues without it turning into hateful fights online.

It is the same behavior the WOKE do. When culture decided demanding feelings come before logic and teaching kids to lash out using their feelings in a militant way it is no surprise that this keeps happening. Sure, one can blame social media and/or the misinformation that is displayed on social media, but it isn't the misinformation on social media. That does have its part to play, but not as much on the pie chart as say the misinformation of pure concept on the news networks pretending said misinformation is real life, everyday occurrences, that are teaching the young, the hypersensitive WOKE Culture, that if you want to be heard you must be loud, expressionful and militant. This includes acts of defiance, hateful words like racist comments and now perverted into violence with these people gaining access to firearms of any kind. We need to remove those very few that rule over the many with people that really will choose logic, problem-solving, common sense & critical thinking first over "using their feelings in a militant way" to get a society to respond...

This is why I go to the lengths I go to, to be overly descriptive in my process when I discuss these things. I might be harsh on this subject, as far as true objectiveness goes, but to me it is pretty clear. I have been watching this unfold since the beginning of social media. Yahoo Messenger chat rooms, AIM/AOL Hometown, MySpace. I have been seeing this unfold. I have seen so many people so thirsty for attention that they deliberately go out of their way just to get that little taste of exhilaration at being so very loud on social media that it no longer matters what the subject matter is. It all comes from self-serving narcissistic tendencies. It doesn’t matter what others think as long that person gets their satisfaction. The last word in. The acknowledgment in a direct message that- that person saw the message. The more people that become addicted to that sensation of being recognized for their efforts regardless of tone, perspective, racist or not, right or wrong, doesn’t matter. That is what they want, and that is how they will work to get there. It’s shitty. I am not saying this is good. It’s terrible what people and minorities go through on social media.

This has always been at play though. Same with gun violence. It’s always been there. It’s the instant gratification of the flow of raw information and how that information is now manipulated to have a false narrative point of view displayed as “FACTS” is where a major part of this outrage is coming from. It’s been manipulated at the source from the start to target minority people, the young, the impressionable, the bullied, the misunderstood, and the different. This list goes on and on. It is like the idea that Neo is inside a matrix within another matrix in order to give him the illusion that he actually has free will to make his own choices. However, in the theory, all the choices have been manipulated and calculated at such a level of certainty it cannot be debated to be wrong. That to me is the real horror story to tell. Let people believe they are free but everything they do and choose to do has been calculated so that the calculator, the one creating the choices, already knows what they will do and how they will choose…

Nearly every day I see posts where a person is clearly seeking attention and it isn't clear as to what/why they are actually after. They make a pointless post about being sad/lonely, but it doesn't go anywhere. No details as to why they feel that way. No story as to what triggered them. No valuable data about the situation. Just a very vague-book-style post, where we, the viewer, don't know what the fuck to think. However, the poster does. They have an expectation of what I am supposed to feel here, and it is that “assumption of expectation.” That to me is the manipulation… The reaction TikTok videos of people just looking like they agree on someone else’s rant and offer nothing, but their facial reaction. Like, what in the living fuck is that supposed to be all about and why am I supposed to care? It is like people just stopped trying to be real. The key part here that doesn’t get mentioned in a lot of cases you may see ZERO comments and very emoji likes or whatever.

That's right. People saw the post. They just do not care enough to comment. Hmmmmmmm, I wonder why? This goes for those racist comments to actors/actresses. Where are these comments coming from? A twitter user, “user_85278575 with a cartoon looking egg as the default pic with two followers. I mean, should Disney have a panic attack meltdown on racism and standing with them from something like that?

Of course there is no room for racism on social media, but what I am saying if it comes from a profile like that should one even care or even worry about that? I can’t really say. I have stated how and why I feel it’s a really bad take to have if I am Disney. It would be one thing if it came from valued twitter users that have massive followings or even a moderate following, but the troll profile with no activity and followers? Come on man… This is what Elon Musk is complaining about. Troll/Bot profiles probably make up more of this rubbish than actual real contributors to the platform. If one wants to argue that, cool. No problem, show me the raw data, profiles, comments and I will judge for myself with my 25 years of IT experience/expertise while watching social media grow from black screen, white text chat-boxes to TikTok. I’ll wait…

However, some will comment. Some will comment positive stuff, like self-serving BS. Or some will just post emoji’s, (I do that, but only to people that I do care but don't know what to say as of yet. I may be trying to draw them out to chat about it), some will do it because they cannot help themselves but to comment on it, because they have no clue what that person actually means they just comment with the (I sort of give a FK) emoji.

The goal is, if no one ever comments and/or gives these people attention maybe they won't vague-book so much. I am not saying people shouldn't post about their feelings, but intention, insight, perspective go a long way. Just explain what hell you are talking about in Plane-Ass-Galactic Basic (English). People might actually get real responses, but I get it, they want attention. They do not actually want to solve their issue. No, that would mean, they no longer need people and their attention. People are comfortable with being miserable. I will say that again…

People Are Comfortable with Being Miserable…

There is a disease out there. Peoples' expectations of becoming important/famous in their own minds far outweigh the work they actually did to give them that perception of reality having that sort of an inflated sense of self; all based on nothing or at the very least, "not much at all." So now they use false narratives to buy into and throw a huge emotional, but public and very militant response to prove their point. Which isn’t about proving anymore. It’s about how many likes/clicks/subs they can get for their outrageous take on a subject that has a very clear definition of what said thing actually is. They cannot convince people it is true so they try to time travel and change the definition at the source. They change the meaning of a word buy using it over and over again in the media and social media. If you challenge them at all, you are either bullied, canceled or forced to change or things, luxuries are slowly stripped from you till one complies.

The movie adaption of V for Vendetta isn’t a dystopian fictional tale, no. It’s a goddamn documentary of the future if we do not get a grip on reality here. We need to stop rewarding people for being stupid. We need to stop glorifying these takes as serious talking points. It is ok to be different. Hey, if you want to go be a boy and you were born a girl, so what. Few actually really care. However, when a person or group starts to demand things be a thing when all manners of proving a thing to be real, prove that said thing is not real, those groups need to get a grip and understand their rights are not being violated by this.

One cannot demand a thing to be real just because they want it to be real.

That isn’t how concepts are brought into existence to become part of our reality. There is a process for that and the WOKE doesn’t want to learn, work in, towards, the process. They want to invent their own process that fits the path of least of resistance. You cannot reverse engineer common sense, critical thinking, logic and common sense to fit different groups’ narcissistic delusion that whatever they feel like when the wake up in the morning dictates what truth, a “FACT” is, what right and/or wrong is conceptually, on a daily basis. Just because a person or group either identifies with a thing or not is absolutely irrelevant. It is why we are taught or at least used to be taught at a very young age not to react emotionally to very serious/important things. Because in most cases we cannot use our thinking brain to react correctly. Like I said, when culture decided demanding feelings come before logic and teaching kids to lash out using their feelings in a militant way it is no surprise that this keeps happening.

This is the WOKE Mob’s Mantra…

It is embedded in the very foundation of its definition, which is now labeled as oppressive and dangerous to all human consumption if one trusts in those WOKE mob’s voices… What pulls a person to be the devil’s advocate in every conversation about nonsensical topics is a question future philosophers will ask about this culture in a hundred years if there are philosophers left after these wars on language, what a “FACT” is and conceptual awareness ever end.

A “FACT” doesn’t change because one’s point of view changes. That is part of it. It’s a constant. We can always rely on that when things start to die off or change that this thing or that thing that are based on “FACT” don’t change.

It isn’t too late… All we have to do is stop giving these people a pass. Not just the followers of this mentality but the leaders. Those Extreme Left WOKE leaders that have been there way too long, clearly out of touch with reality, only looking out for themselves and the money that put them there. If any leader uses a tragedy or a series of tragedies to exploit their political, religious concepts to the masses those are the ones we need to be weary of and make sure they never get to make laws or govern others, ever. They cannot even have their own mind in check, their own house in check, but we’re gonna allow them to tell us what right is or wrong is as a conceptual paradigm?

"I have shown you the proper and normal type of constitution, but if you will not have it and insist on living under a perverted form, you may as well know how to make the best of it.” ~Aristotle – Could this be the very first tweet? Oh, if sarcasm was a thing back in those days.

Hopefully this is the last time I have to voice my opinions about common sense, critical thinking, problem-solving, philosophy and logic pertaining to politics in 2022. Pretty much every politically charged blog I have written since mid-2018 is a variation of/on the same things. Even though I choose to write this stuff, in this format, I still find very valuable to my growth as a single mind. Like everything, things change, perspectives change, point of views change… “FACTS” do not change… I want to be able to go back and see how I felt about this and/or that. However, the last few years it just seems to me that we the people keep harping on variations of the same thing and we are not getting anywhere with that. If anything, in the name of progress or being progressive.

I ask; how can one or a group of self-proclaimed “progressive thinkers” when the actual thinkers, the people that did the work, did the research, studied for decades to take concepts of things and turn them into things we interact with in our reality, which we call “FACTS.” How can they be progressive, when they are going backwards? This group and/or the one cannot change the definition of backward; because they identify with that concept as progression? It’s not about being on the right/wrong side of history. It’s about being philosophically moral in a society where we are taught at a very young age right/wrong with false data displayed as “FACTS” in order to gain a perspective of the concept of right and wrong all in the name of being progressive.

If we challenge this ideology we are treated in such a way that we either have to conform to something that doesn’t make logical sense or risk being bullied, canceled, fired in some cases, sued, whatever it might be. These people get off on making good people appear to be foolish. Yet they are the ones trying to convince people up is no longer up but it’s down because said person cannot understand up but they understand down, so they change what up stands for so their delusional belief can be justified to them.

Narcissist – Having an excessive, or erotic self-belief interest in oneself. In most cases their attitude towards how they got there cannot be challenged nor can something, anything come before what they, believe, may want or need, first. All else is last. Not secondary, but last…

“When you have a society run by the very few to govern over the very many and those very few that run the society are out of touch, govern for their own purposes of greed and will only back a solution if it benefits them and the people that pay them, change in the form of direct action will be nonexistent.” ~David-Angelo Mineo, 5/25/2022.

Experrectus te ipsum Latin for (UnWoke Yourself) by David-Angelo Mineo Words 6,256

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jamespotterthefirst · 3 years

Text

Snapshot (Ethan x MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende-Ramsey) Word count: 900 Warning: None

Premise: An intern learns that there is something in this world that can make the intimidating Ethan Ramsey smile.

Author’s Note: Okay so this is that baby fic I was talking about. This was requested by someone a year ago. I wrote it back then so it goes without saying, this doesn't follow book 3's train wreck at all. Honestly, I can't say why I didn't publish. I always meant to but I never could let go. Thank you @aestheticartsx for pre-reading a year ago!

Author's Note II: Told through an outsider POV

Audrey paused in the middle of the hallway to just breathe. She had been on her feet all day and despite wearing comfortable (yet extraordinarily ugly) shoes, her feet throbbed in protest.

A pretty young doctor who was also an intern like her rounded the corner. Her striking hazel eyes fell on Audrey, slumped against the wall as she was, without even reacting.

“Same,” the pretty doctor commented dryly, looking every bit as tired as Audrey felt. “Long day?”

“Yes,” Audrey breathed, the simple action taking up far too much energy. “It's almost over, though. I just have to present my last case and I can go sleep for four, blissful hours.”

Hazel Eyes laughed and Audrey noticed how pleasant the sound was. “Unless you're presenting to Dr. Ramsey.”

Audrey made a face. “Right, if he rips me a new asshole after, then I'll be headed to a supply closet to cry instead.”

Her companion chuckled at her joke, which Audrey appreciated. Not many people understood her brand of dark humor.

“Let's just hope he's in a better mood than he was this morning,” she said sympathetically. She grimaced at some memory. “Only a miracle can turn that guy's mood around.”

Audrey discovered said divine intervention as she walked through the atrium fifteen minutes later. Standing several feet away was the man himself, looking so tall that he was difficult to miss. Audrey did a genuine double take simply because he looked so… different.

Standing next to him was a beautiful woman with cascading, dark hair and a radiant smile that lit up her entire face as she looked up at Dr. Ramsey. And he was smiling back at her with so much adoration, it almost made him younger and unrecognizable. Between them was a stroller and when Dr. Ramsey peered inside, his expression melted into one of sheer love, like a man seeing the entirety of his whole world before him.

Stunned, all Audrey could do was stare.

“We were bored out of our minds. Maternity leave is so uneventful.” The beautiful brunette grinned sheepishly at the tall doctor.

“Caring for a two month old is not challenging enough for you, Rookie?”

“Compared to my intern year, looking after Jonah is a piece of cake.”

Very gently, far more gently than Audrey had ever seen him do anything, Dr. Ramsey reached into the stroller and scooped up a small bundle of blankets. He looked nothing like the doctor who berated interns all day. Instead, his tired face shone with unbridled wonder as he glanced down at his son.

The pretty brunette found her place at his side, fitting perfectly as she too glanced at the child with a loving gaze. “Besides, he missed you terribly.”

“And you?”

“I missed you a normal amount.”

Dr. Ramsey grinned in a teasing way Audrey would have never thought possible. “Liar.”

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Fine, I miss you like crazy.”

Still holding their child like he was the most precious thing in the world, Dr. Ramsey leaned in to kiss her, earning them tender smiles from any staff that passed them.

“You look tired,” she commented, running delicate fingers through the lines of his exhausted face. “Are you spending your energy terrorizing my interns?”

This was said with a taunting little laugh that made Dr. Ramsey roll his eyes. Audrey realized then who the brunette must be. She had only heard of Dr. Lilac Allende, senior resident, but never met her since she was out on maternity leave.

“They flock me like incessant and determined mosquitoes,” he muttered, though his voice held no contempt. They were almost half-hearted, too preoccupied with soothing his baby.

“Well, I’m coming back in three weeks and I better find them all in one piece.”

Dr. Ramsey did not have a chance to reply because a delighted squeal rang out from across the atrium. Audrey would have never bet that renowned neurosurgeon Harper Emery could make such a sound, but there she was, rushing to their side and beaming brightly.

“Is this your son?” She stopped to glance at the child in Dr. Ramsey’s arms with bright eyes. “May I?”

Dr. Allende nodded excitedly and Dr. Ramsey carefully shifted his son onto Dr. Emery’s eager arms. “Hello handsome,” she cooed, swaying the child gently. “What a beautiful little man.”

“That’s because he looks like his mother,” Dr. Ramsey said confidently. “Thank God.”

Dr. Emery agreed with a hum and Dr. Allende blushed.

“Spoken like a man hopelessly devoted and in love with his wife.”

Audrey watched Chief Banerji himself join them, eyes twinkling and with a bening smile to match. “There he is, our pride and joy,” he added, turning a dotting gaze to the baby in Dr. Emery’s arms.

As the chief and Dr. Emery devoted their attention entirely to the baby, Dr. Ramsey circled an arm around his wife, pulling her close. He gave her a half-smile so captivating that Audrey finally understood the appeal he had on the female and some of the male staff. This had a similar effect on his wife, for she flushed even more, looking every bit as breathless as though she had just run a marathon. This was the intended reaction because Dr. Ramsey chuckled low in her ear. With so much devotion it made even Audrey’s heart tug, he leaned in to whisper into Dr. Allende’s ear: I love you.

Audrey didn’t hear the response and she didn’t have to. The look Dr. Allende gave him before she kissed him said the feeling was mutual.

Note: Thank you for reading!

#ethan ramsey #open heart #playchoices #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey fanfiction #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #my writing

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finelinevogue · 3 years

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the road not taken looks real good now (it always leads to you)

Description - y/n and harry!female re-kindle after a devastating breakup

A/N - so my best friend wrote this and i thought it was too beautiful to let it sit in her google docs doing nothing, so please give it some love so i can show her the lovely comments and feedback! she doesn’t believe it’s good but i beg to differ!! (harry is female in this)

warnings : angst, swearing

[ masterlist ]

a tiny extra, a poem, that she wrote, that makes her feel the same way as this fic:

i am not asking for much

just a warm bed

and someone to love me as i am

fold back the sheets

so i can crawl in

smile pressed against your shoulder blades

cocoon us safely in your body heat

the smell of your perfume on the pillows

tired eyes finally come to rest

with you next to me

••••

The air is fresh and cold as you crack the window of your bedroom, breathing in fresh spring air as you tip your face up to the light. You can’t help but think, what the fuck have I done? Only mad people invite their ex-girlfriend over to stay with them in their house for two weeks. You wondered idly if it was dramatic to suggest that it was going to be like living in your own personal purgatory, trapped between the relative silence that had existed between the two of you since four years ago when Harry left you crying and broken-hearted on the doorstep to go follow her dream, and the endless craving for her love that you don’t think will ever leave you; it’s held on long past the time she was last yours. But what could you do? She was coming here because, as she privately confessed to you in that frantic 2 am phone call, that she was scared she was never going to write anything good ever again. And you knew what that felt like, to feel like the words had dried up inside of you, clinging to the inside of your brain no matter how hard you tried to coax them out on the page; everything you did write a jumble of letters that made no sense and left you achingly empty. If she needed you to give up your space, open the arms of her old home to her one more time, so she could write something she really believed in, who were you to deny her?

Even when it felt like swallowing fire to even think of having her in familiar hallways again. On the bright side, perhaps Harry being here with you would reignite the fire of the healing heartbreak wounds that led to your first book and you might finally be able to offer your publisher something that didn’t carve her frown lines deeper into her face. But maybe that was an unfortunate way of looking at your relationship. You had promised yourself you could be her friend, no matter how gut-wrenching it would be to watch her be anything but yours. A girl like Harry deserved to be loved by everyone in every way, no matter the personal cost.

You sigh, knowing you’re about to go and waste your day, staring out the window waiting for Harry, despite knowing that her flight doesn’t even reach the terminal until half-past three. Harry generally tends to have that effect on people, but you can’t help feeling like a little dog, waiting at the door for her to come home and love you, tell you that you’ve been so good to sit and wait for her all these years.

••••

You hear her before you see her. The clatter of her cases and the swearing from where you’re so sure she’s managed to trip and hurt herself, always the clumsy one of the two of you. You can almost feel your soul reaching out to hold her close. You have no time to dwell on how pathetic of a start this was to your ‘just friends’ policy, as the sound of the doorbell echoes through the hallway. As the door swings open under your sweaty palm, you see her. All big, trusting eyes and long curls, and a little flowery dress for the rapidly warming weather. She smiles, and you feel the side of your mouth twitch up in an involuntary response. She’s just as gorgeous as you remember, you can practically feel the sunlight spilling out of her to hold you hostage in its rays.

‘Hi,’ she says, ‘I’ve missed you like mad.’

‘I think I’ve missed you more, darling.’ You reply, lurching forward to wrap your arms around her waist, hers coming up to cradle you as she lets go of her travel bag, landing with a bang on the doorstep. She still feels like home.

Eventually, you let her go, stepping back and grabbing her case so she can come inside. You watch as her eyes scan the hallways of the place she used to call hers.

‘You kept my lamp.’ She notes, turning to raise one eyebrow at you as she makes her way toward the kitchen.

‘It’s a good lamp.’ You reply, trailing after her to the kitchen.

‘I bloody know, that’s why I picked it, you complete thief.’ She laughs, dumping her bags down to the left, as you skirt around her to rest your crossed arms on the island.

Harry’s face turns serious as she looks at you, leaning over the other side of the counter, green eyes intent on yours.

‘Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

‘H,’ you smile, ‘it’s been a long time. We’re in our thirties, I’m thirty-four years old, I’m sure I’m mature enough to have you in my house. Besides, we’re friends now aren’t we? And all my friends stay here.’

‘I’m only 29.’ Harry flashes her cheeky grin and watches as you roll your eyes, finally tearing yourself away from where you’ve steadily been inching closer to her face as you spoke.

‘Don’t be a pedant, H. You’re in the spare bedroom next to me if that’s alright? I’ve changed the sheets and everything, and there’s a fan if it gets hot tonight.’

She just nods back, picking up the satchel and her suitcase, nudging the door open with one last glance back at you.

You press your head against the counter, hoping the cool touch of the marble will lend you some clarity. Already, Harry had your heart jackrabbiting in your chest and you’d only been standing in the same kitchen together for five minutes. You couldn’t help but wonder what had possessed you to miss the time frame for inviting somebody else, anybody else, to be your buffer for her extended visit.

••••

Harry is perched on your counter, chewing absentmindedly on a breadstick you offered her as she came in to watch as you made dinner. Her socked feet bounce and kick in the air as you stir the boiling water to test the consistency of the pasta. You feel the sweat start to bead up on your forehead, the now unknown feeling of being watched and the heat of the pan mixing with the warm air blowing in through your patio doors making the room feel airless. Maybe it was a bit too hot for pasta in this weather, but you couldn't help but start putting together the dish that Harry had always loved, had begged you to make on date nights, the one you made whenever you felt like you were too difficult, too angry, too unloveable, that you had nothing to offer her apart from this one little pasta dish.

‘Are you seeing anyone?’ It comes out of nowhere, and you startle, not used to having casual conversation in your kitchen.

’Why are you asking me that?’ You pull the pasta off of the hob as you turn to look at her, reaching for the strainer she’s already holding out towards you.

‘I’m curious.’

‘Seems like a loaded question.’ You volley back, in particularly deep concentration over draining the water from the pot. Harry sighs in frustration behind you, shuffling in her seat.

‘Indulge me.’ You turn to face her, her green eyes wide and serious, one hand carding through her hair - an unconscious habit you’ll never forget.

‘No. I’m not seeing anyone. Happy now?’ You forget how easy it was to get frustrated with her and her inability to let things go, a hazard with your short temper.

‘Very. That wasn’t even hard was it? Were you ever seeing anyone else, you know, after?’

You stare back incredulous. She must know she’s winding you up now.

‘Why are you even asking me all this, H? It’s like you’re trying to get on my nerves.’

‘I don’t get why you’re being so defensive about this, it’s a very simple question.’

‘It’s not simple when your ex-girlfriend is asking you whether you’ve been fucking anyone else.’ You huff, mixing the pasta with the creamy sauce she adored.

‘I thought you said we were friends. Friends talk about their relationships.’ She always had that talent, turning your words back on you, especially when she was bitter about them. You didn’t see quite what she had to be angry about with this one, especially if she had moved on enough to feel comfortable quizzing you about whatever new girlfriend she had dreamed up for you. Privately, you thought she might be a little disappointed.

‘Right, well this friend has had one other relationship. A very brief one. And, as is standard for my track record, it didn’t work out. Can that be the end of this conversation now?’

‘If that’s what you’d prefer. You don’t want to ask about my new relationships then?’ Her mouth turned up in that quirk you knew meant she was satisfied with the outcome of this conversation.

‘Not even a little bit. Get your bowl and we can eat outside.’ You do your best to smile back at her, your head spinning with the thought of her being with anyone else, of anyone else touching her the way you did, knowing her the way you did, watching her spill all her emotions onto the bed in front of them as they sat in the dark together the way the two of you used to.

You dream of her that night, all that soft skin and her open mouth, hovering over you as you grasp at the pale expanse of her back. The silk smooth feel of the inside of her thighs, your hand climbing steadily upwards; the hard press of her mouth on yours, panting into a kiss, slipping down the open cavern of your neck as you slide your hand to fist in her back of her hair and guide her downwards until you were gasping.

That’s how you wake up, hands reaching up to hold something you were never going to get to have again, mouth curving around her name. You wondered after if she could hear your desperate cry in the room just next to hers, her own name a call sign she had decided to ignore. You could already feel your body waking up in her presence, feelings you thought were long dead being unlocked just by having her close by, the urge to reach out and hold her to your and keep her forever tingling in your fingertips.

It starts to occur to you that you might be in over your head.

•••••

The next day brings unbearable heat, the thick, oppressive humidity that you’ve only ever known in the British countryside. You wake for the second time, kicking off the heavy weight of the duvet and scrambling for a water bottle. You can feel the sweat beading as you roll out of bed and pad towards the bathroom, hoping to rinse off the entirety of the night before and replace it with a fresh resolve to behave yourself around Harry. Alas, you’ve never been lucky. As you crack the door, you see her standing in the hallway already, cradled in the light of the morning. Her head twitches towards yours as you take in the sight of her in a silk slip, and your flip flops.

‘Sorry to borrow,’ she says, voice heavy with sleep, ‘I thought it was going to be cold, I’ve only got slippers.’

‘No bother, baby,’ You cringe at the endearment, your pledge to be friendly already slipping out of your grasp when she’s stood there all in white, like the angel you know she is, ‘I should have warned you, they’ve been predicting an Indian summer for a few weeks now.’

She nods and gestures towards the stairs, ‘Are you coming down for a coffee?’

‘In a second, I want a shower first, and then we can go swim if you like? You’re welcome to borrow something to go if you haven’t got anything with you.’

‘That would be great, thanks, I’ll do breakfast while you shower?’

You open your mouth to protest, she was a guest and you didn’t make a habit of asking your guests to wait on you, but reconsider, smiling and nodding at her as you headed towards the bathroom door. She is quite excellent at breakfast after all. And, possibly selfishly, you were hoping that making breakfast would distract her from trying to start the same kind of conversation as yesterday, given that she seemed so keen to prod at that particular bundle of hurt inside of you. You turned the shower to cold, trying to stave off both the crawling heat of the air and the aching heat inside of you, a fire lit at the sight of Harry in her nightdress.

••••

You had to face her again quicker than you liked, padding down the stairs in a bikini, carrying one in your right hand for Harry, the air too hot to even think of a wrap. You found her laid out on the marble countertop, leaching the heat out of her body, nightdress ruched up around her upper thigh and flip flops abandoned next to the oven. At your audible swallow, she lifts her head slightly to smile.

‘Sorry to be so wanton in your kitchen, it’s just so fucking hot.’

‘No worries.’ You tell her, the words slightly strangled as she sits up properly to grab the bikini from your hand and jump down from the counter.

You slide into her now vacated spot. The marble is still warm from the heat of her body that you yearn to touch yourself.

She slides your plate towards you, with a face you knew meant trouble.

‘How old was she, your other girlfriend I mean?’ She asks, watching closely for your reaction.

‘Are we back on this again?’ You sigh, eyes rolling up towards the ceiling.

‘Really, Y/N! You keep telling me we’re supposed to be building a friendship but you won’t even be honest with me about a relationship you aren’t even in anymore! Friends tell each other about their lives, you know!’

You dig your fists into your eye sockets, it’s far too early to be having this fight. And what damage could it really do to something so broken?

‘Forty-five. Thought I’d give the whole older woman thing a try, see what all the fuss was about. You certainly seemed to like it.’

‘Did you like it? Did you love her?’ She follows up your answer with more inquiries in quick succession.

‘I think I could have loved her if I had tried.’ But I didn’t, you can’t add, I couldn’t try and love anyone because I’m too head over heels for you and I’m scared I always will be and I don’t know what to do with you here in my kitchen, asking me about the feelings I’d accepted I would be locking away in a box forever after you left me.

Harry purses her lips together at that, and flips her hair back over her shoulder, banging a mug of coffee down hard on the counter in front of you. You expected her to go on with her questions, nudging away at your boundaries until every barrier that you had built to protect yourself in her absence came crashing down around you, leaving your hurt visible in the middle of the wreckage for her to see. But she’s dead silent, staring at you like you’ve given her a challenge. Before you know it, you’re choking on the mug of coffee that she gave you, made exactly how you like it. Harry stood in front of you, slipping her nightdress down her arms and off, off, off. It pooled around her feet like water as she looked at you, eyes locked on you as your jaw dropped.

‘H, what are you doing?’ You ask, unable to tear your eyes away. She still looks exactly the same as she did four years ago, soft love handles and fern tattoos and so so gorgeous.

‘I’m changing, I want to swim.’ She raises one eyebrow as if it's a completely obvious thing to do, strip off in your ex-girlfriend’s kitchen right in front of said ex-girlfriend. Sometimes, you felt like the only sane person you knew.

‘You have a bedroom!’

‘Why are you getting so shy? It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, babe.’ She winks, finally securing the back of the bikini top so she was at least somewhat covered.

You stare at her for another second in disbelief, before shaking it off and grabbing your plate. The sooner you get to leave this strange atmosphere Harry had created between the two of you, and finally, get a deep breath of fresh air to remind you of yourself, and distract you from the burn that had shot through you at the sight of her, the better.

••••

Your walk down to the lake is quiet, Harry occasionally nudging her arm against yours and just smiling when you turn to look at her, the crinkles of her eyes visible just to the side of her little round sunglasses. You had forgotten how good it felt to just be alone with her like this, just the two of you walking close by each other through the wooded area you had once loved to explore, to bring your picnics to and kiss in the dappled light. It felt so much the same that you were having to remind yourself that you couldn’t just reach out and interlace your fingers with hers, tug her against your side. You swap the picnic basket you had packed so it acts as a barrier between you, and you hear Harry sigh on your left. You don’t have time to dwell on it as you step into an open cavern of light, the sun's rays reflecting off of the now visible lake. The two of you spread the picnic blanket out and Harry flops down on her back, kicking off her shoes and turning her face up towards the light. She gestures for you to sit down next to her as she rolls over onto her stomach and pushes her sunglasses upon her head.

‘Can you tell me why you’re being so fucking weird?’ She asks, voice interrupting the silence of the morning out of nowhere, and instantly putting you on the defensive, your famous quick temper rising to the surface as you snap back at her.

‘I’m not being weird! You’re being fucking weird, taking your clothes off in my kitchen and questioning me about who I’m dating and asking to stay in my house after not speaking to me for years.’

‘Y/N.’ She looks unimpressed, mouth set in a hard line which you knew meant she wasn’t going to let it go.

You take a deep breath, trying to let some of the anger out with your long exhale. You knew you weren’t really angry with her anyway, not when what she was saying was entirely true.

‘I’m trying to be your friend, H, this is difficult for me you know! I don’t spend much time trying to be best pals with my ex-girlfriends funnily enough.’

‘It doesn’t feel like you’re trying to be my friend. Because what I’m doing is trying to be a part of your life again, to know you again, and you’re just pushing me away, every time I try to find out anything about your life. The reason I’m being so insistent about your ex is because that’s the only thing you’ve actually given me any kind of insight on at all, you’ve not mentioned your friends, or your new hobbies, or your writing, and I’m too scared to talk about what I used to know about you because you just seem like you’re about to accuse me of bringing up the past. It just feels like you’ve invited me here so you can try to create scenarios to prove to yourself that you don’t want me anymore; like I’m some weird personal growth exercise. And it’s kind of making me feel like shit, to be honest.’ The hard set of her face cracks as she finishes speaking, her lip wobbling the way it did when you knew it always did when she was about to cry. You surged forward, to crush her into a hug, despite the awkward angle, and she met you with equal enthusiasm, gripping your shoulders tightly as if she was afraid she was going to wake up and find out it’s all a dream.

’That was never my intention, honey. Please, my baby, you have to believe me. I just don’t know how to be here with you when I don’t have you anymore and I’m not coping the way I thought I would. It’s not your fault, H, my darling.’

‘I just want you to trust me with you again.’

‘I want that. I want to prove it.’ And you do, you want that so much. You want to be the one she knows the best again, to trust her with your soul and trust that she won’t break your heart. You haven’t been so good with trust for a long time. Four years, to be exact. It’s starting to get tiring, being so on guard with her, not telling her how you feel about her, resigning yourself to having to go without her forever. She looks at you, inquisitive, as you push back from her so you aren’t locked together anymore. You unlace the back of your bikini top, letting it fall to the mossy ground, and you see her eyes track your movements. She rolls up onto her knees to touch your thigh as you let your bikini bottoms meet the same fate as your bikini top, eyes wide and confused.

‘I don’t want to push you away anymore,’ you reach down to press your fingers against her cheek, tipping her face upwards to meet your eyes, ‘Swim with me, Harry.’

Her face twists up into a smile as she reaches up to unhook the back of her bikini, letting it meet the same fate as your own. You pull her close, the connection of your body on hers feeling like there’s an electric current running through the both of you, sending sparks flying towards the damp ground. And suddenly you’re racing towards the water together, tumbling over each other's feet as you push closer, until you feel like any further and you’d be climbing inside of her, becoming one beautiful blend of your love for each other lit up in golden light.

The water is cold, sending shockwaves through you. Harry yelps, dragging you closer, drawing your legs up around her waist in the buoyancy of the water, despite your protest.

‘I’m conserving heat between us, baby.’ She jokes, hitching you up further so she can press her wet, open mouth to your collarbone, dragging it down until you were fisting your hand in her hair, tipping your head back at the touch you’ve long since given up wishing you’ll ever have back. She switches her hold so she’s supporting you with one tattooed arm, and the other one dips between your thighs in the space she’d made between the two of you.

‘When did you decide you just wanted to be my friend, Y/N?’ Harry asks, breathing hot and heavy, the line of her body pressed up against yours, hand cupping the side of your face, tight against your cheek.

‘Never. I never did. It’s been fucking hell having you here and not having you still. I’ll never not want you like that, Harry. You’re the only one. I’ve been in love with you for a fucking decade.’ You tell her, voice cracking over your confession as her hand twitches.

Her eyes fix themselves on yours as she replies, searing and intent, her hand nudging your face forward from where you’d lean in to bite at her shoulder.

‘It’s you. It’s always been you.’

‘You can’t say that to me if you’re just going to leave me here again. I’m going to be in love with you for the rest of my life, H, and if I have to watch you walk away from me again it’s going to kill me.’ Your face crumples, one hand on Harry’s chest to push her away from you, the other pressed to your own where you could already feel your heart bracing for the impact of Harry telling you she could never love you more than her adventuring, never love you more than her vibrant life in Madrid, that she was going to leave you here forever knowing you were only ever going to be able to sit waiting for her to come home to you.

She laughs, open-mouthed and breathless, eyes disbelieving on your face. Water rushes between your bodies where you’ve pressed your hand against her chest, her heart thumping under your hand, the familiar rhythm that used to lull you to sleep every night. It laps against the bottom of her rib cage where she looms over you, face set, ready to make you listen to her.

‘I only ever left England because everything here reminded me of you. I’m never leaving you again. You’re mine. I’ll always be yours. I love you. I came back here because I wanted you. I needed to know I was ready to be the woman you deserve to be with, the kind of person that can support you as equally as you support me, to teach you about my bit of life and receive your advice in return, without feeling guilty for everything I can’t offer you. I’ve been dreaming of being here with you for four years, ever since the moment I walked out of the door, and I finally feel like I can do it. And I’m so sorry I had to go, but I couldn’t go on lying to myself and pretending I was the kind of woman to give you the life you’ve wanted all these years. So if you’ll have me now, I’ll be right here, and I’ll never leave you. This is it for me. There’s nobody else. There’s never even been anyone else in all this time. It was all for you. It’ll always be me, making my way through the world to find my place next to your side.’

••••

The tears finally spill over then, everything you’ve been dreaming of her saying for years suddenly being spelt out right in front of you. You crash your body back into hers, hands and mouths everywhere, both of you eager to reclaim lost territory, make your marks on the wide expanse of each other’s skin, on bodies that belonged together once more. How beautiful for the one you thought you would spend your life pining to come back to you to breathe her fresh breath of air in your life once more and light it up with all her beautiful colours. How beautiful that you finally had your light back.

Later, you lay next to her on the picnic blanket on your front, one hand in her curls, twisting them this way and that, slowly brushing the other one up and down her stomach, circling the fern tattoos as she lazes in the sun. A thought occurs to you, watching a bead of lake water roll down her chest to the floor.

‘What the hell was that in my kitchen earlier, by the way?’

‘Had to check you still wanted me didn’t I,’ She smirks, opening one eye as she rolls her head towards yours.

‘Cheeky fucker.’ You wouldn’t have her any other way, your sunshine girl.

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wherethingscomebackx · 3 years

Text

Top 25 Larry Fics of 2020

h 2020 was HELLISH. So thank you to all the writers, and I mean ALL of them, who kept us occupied as the world continues to burn.

You may be familiar with these lists:

Top 25 Larry fics of 2016

Top 25 Larry fics of 2017

Top 25 Larry fics of 2018

Top 25 Larry fics of 2019

We’re going on our 5th year!! As always, I read a lot of fic and the majority of it is Larry. I like making lists and I like Larry so I thought I’d do some minimal research of the top 25 larry fics published/completed in 2020 in order of least to most kudos (with links). All of these fics are top notch so you should all check them out!

25.) a trail of honey through it all by @yvesaintlourent (27k)

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

24.) even the best laid plans by @falsegoodnight (25k)

“Anyways,” Louis stresses, narrowing his eyes, “just let me say it and then rate how terrible of an idea it is on a scale from one to ten.”

“Alright,” Zayn agrees, sitting up expectantly.

“I want to ask Harry Styles to take my virginity,” Louis blurts, holding his hands out for emphasis.

The way Zayn’s eyes bulge is almost comical. “Negative infinity,” he says, voice choked. “Negative infinity times negative infinity.”

“Technically, a negative times a negative is -”

“Really negative infinity,” Zayn corrects himself, shaking his head wildly. “Louis, what the fuck?”

Or, Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

23.) A Distant Hazy Light by @greenfeelings (76k)

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

22.) Ghost Note Symphony by whoknows (96k)

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

21.) Until by @allwaswell16 (38k)

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

20.) Strangers in Love by sweetums (42k)

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

Prompt 51: An amnesia fic where louis and harry were enemies to lovers but after an accident, louis only remembers those memories that him and harry hated each other. now harry has to fix it. I think something like this less dark and less angsty compared to other amnesia fics and it could be funny

19.) A Long Way From The Playground by Pink_Sunsets (170k)

One Direction is broken up. They broke up five years ago. That should be the end of the story, right?

Harry is finished with One Direction. He now has a new life, one with two kids and a successful solo career. And he’s happy.

But a call one night from management flips Harry’s whole new life upside down, and he’s forced to face the life he had left behind.

As well as a certain blue eyed man who had left him behind.

18.) my love’s not simple (it’s fragile) by @falsegoodnight (27k)

“Can I take you out tomorrow?” he asks. “My shift ends at 7 but we can go for dinner at 8.”

Louis is silent for a few seconds and then, “Like… on a date?”

Harry swallows thickly. He hasn’t done this in years, hasn’t ever wanted to. “Yeah.”

He’s worried he’s misread things but then Louis raises his head to kiss Harry’s cheek. “Yeah,” he says easily. “Sure.”

Tension leaves his body swiftly. “Are you sure?” asks Harry. “I know we’re both so busy but I can’t not try with you, Lou.”

“Neither can I,” says Louis. “I think we can figure it out. I care about you a lot Harry. We’ve known each other for a week, but I already like you so much.”

Or Harry's new job is threatened by his impending rut. Desperate for a solution, he allows Niall to introduce him to Louis, an omega whose heat begins the same day. They click.

17.) Cocaine for Breakfast by @harryeatsburger (309k)

“It’s an easy job.” He continues, as if Louis wants to listen. “Like I said, a few trips. Parties, students, nothing dramatic.”

Louis gazes over to Harry. He’s looking thoughtful now, eyes on the green like he’s talking more to himself than Louis.

“Clubbing, drinks. Whatever, the business is just a side thing.”

That’s not how Louis remembers it to be, “You lying?” He honestly can’t tell.

Harry shakes his head slowly, meeting Louis' eyes.

“No,” He answers almost toneless. Harry clears his throat, “I won’t put you in any dangerous situation.” His voice is sincere, Louis can tell he means it, his jade green eyes glinting with truth.

or, - Louis Tomlinson is a drug addict, sent away from his beloved party-scene to recover. There, he discovers that small towns have just as much access to drugs as London did, plus something even better that he just can't get enough of. That something is a boy with green eyes and bouncy curls named Harry Styles. -

16.) Tastes like Strawberries by @sadaveniren (4k)

I’m stressed. I’m nesting and demand cuddles. Come over

Harry frowned and double checked who the text was from. Yup, it still said Louis - Grad, which meant it was from Louis from his grad school.

aka Louis texts Harry by mistake. It works out

15.) the way the storm blows by @rbbsbb (21k)

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

14.) bruise you like a peach by @falsegoodnight (40k)

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

13.) Watching The World Fall by whoknows (11k)

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

12.) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 (38k)

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

11.) The Wrath of the Emerald Eyes by @purpledandeli0n (85k)

His chin is grabbed harshly, facing the two deep green eyes that have been getting on his nerves for the past ten minutes. The smirk on the man's face does not vanish. The grip of his hand on Louis' chin does not soften, his thumb at the side of his lower lip.

His smile widens as he answers Louis' question, ''My name is Styles, but you will call me Captain."

•

Pirate AU

10.) Canyon Moon by @eeveelou (40k)

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

9.) We Both Got Nothing to Hide by lovelarry10 (43k)

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

8.) sleeping on our problems by @falsegoodnight (67k)

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down.

There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word.

His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared.

Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

7.) like it’s a game by @soldouthaz (32k)

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

6.) before we knew by @falsegoodnight (39k)

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?”

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles.

It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it.

He hates everything about his supposed soulmate.

He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples.

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

5.) Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (114k)

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

4.) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by @harryrainbows (95k)

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

Or: Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.

3.) The Space Between by @lads-laddylads (39k)

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

2.) Nothing But You On My Mind by @absoloutenonsense (83k)

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

1.) Collision by @tequiladimples (224k)

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

#larry #larry stylinson #larry fic rec #harry styles #louis tomlinson #fic rec #one direction #1d #one direction fic rec #larry fan fiction #updated because I'm an idiot and added a zarry fic

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not-the-tie-youre-looking-for · 3 years

Note

Something that's been bugging me for years since the Legends finale. If Zhan had been the writer for Rebels, do you think he would have had Thrawn bomb Lothal to bring Ezra out? On the one hand, from Legends Thrawn's portrayal I imagine he would without a second of hesitation. On the other, Canon Thrawn has been much more... restrained? And on a third point, there's the fact that Legends and Canon Thrawn seem like they really could be the same person just at different points of time. cnt in next

...I'm just curious if anyone else was curious if Zhan agreed with that direction taken. Which, on that note, did Zhan ever say anything about his thoughts on how Rebels handled Thrawn? Both from a writing standpoint as well as an acting and musical one (Thrawn's various leitmotifs)?

Oh man. Ohhhhhhhh maaaaan. My friend, you have asked exactly the right person this question, because not only have I wanted to talk about this multiple times before, but I also have ~receipts~. 👀

⚠️Spoiler warnings for Star Wars: Rebels, The Mandalorian, the canon Star Wars novels Thrawn, Thrawn: Alliances, Thrawn: Treason, Thrawn Ascendency: Chaos Rising, and Thrawn Ascendency: Greater Good, and the legends Star Wars novels Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, and Outbound Flight.⚠️

Oh man. Where to begin.

Lets start with who Thrawn is, because depending on who you ask, you're gonna get different answers—whether you're strictly a Legends fan, Dave Filoni, a guy who's only seen Thrawn in Star Wars: Rebels, Timothy Zahn, or just a writer/artist fan like me.

To Timothy Zahn, the man behind our favorite chiss, Thrawn is a character that is constant in both attitude and personality throughout all of his content. In multiple interviews, ranging from Thrawn's debut in Rebels to the latest about the writing of the Ascendancy Trilogy, Zahn states that Thrawn in canon and Thrawn in Legends are indistinguishable.

And so I present the receipts:

In a 2017 interview with The Verge on writing the first canon Thrawn book Thrawn, Zahn is asked the following question and responds as such:

How do you navigate bringing back a character who already has an extensive backstory and audience expectations, with telling a new story that fits in the new continuity?

Actually, I didn’t find that to be a problem. I’d never written Thrawn in this part of the Star Wars timeline, so it was simply a matter of bringing him into the Empire and chronicling his rise through the ranks. It’s still the same character as in the 1990s books, just a decade or two younger and in a very different military and political environment.

In another interview with The Verge in 2018 (a few months after the finale of Rebels aired) about writing Thrawn: Alliances, he repeats this sentiment twice:

Thrawn feels like if it had been written before the canonization purge a couple of years ago, or if you squinted a bit, it would serve as a perfect setup for Heir to the Empire.

Oh, I don’t think you need to squint at all. I wrote him in these two books to fit in with everything else I’d done. So if someone at Lucasfilm snapped their fingers, and suddenly all of my other books were canon, and there would be no real retrofitting that would have to go in. It would all fit together.

Thrawn: Alliances feels more at home in the new canon, especially because Thrawn has been fleshed out a bit more in Rebels. Was there any adjustments for that?

Not really. I’m getting to play with more canon characters like Vader and Padmé and Anakin, but the character himself, I still see him as the same person. He’s got goals, and he won’t necessarily share them with you, but he as long as you’re going the same direction, he’s happy to cooperate and assist along the way.

...and this is referenced again in a 2020 interview with Polygon about writing Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising:

Along with Thrawn’s appearance in Rebels, Zahn would pen a new novel, Thrawn, that chronicled the character’s early days as an Imperial officer. Zahn didn’t have to change anything with the character, telling me in 2017 that “he’s like an old friend who I understand completely.” While Heir to the Empire was no longer canon, a reader could easily read Thrawn as a precursor to that classic novel. Thrawn went on to become a major presence in Rebels, and Zahn continued to explore his origins in Thrawn: Alliances and Thrawn: Treason.

The next day, an interview with IGN was published on the same subject:

Thrawn is an especially unique case because Zahn has been able to effectively continue the work he started way back in 1991 with Heir to the Empire. That novel may not be a part of official Star Wars lore any longer, but as Zahn explained, Thrawn himself is basically the same character regardless of continuity.

[....] The closest comparison between Chaos Rising and Zahn's earlier EU work is probably 2006's Outbound Flight, which is set during the Clone Wars and details the first encounter between Thrawn and the Galactic Republic (while also retroactively laying the groundwork for elements of Heir to the Empire). That novel is no longer canon, but Zahn told us he prefers to operate as if it were. He's making a concerted effort not to retread the same ground as Outbound Flight and to avoid contradicting the events of that novel as much as possible.

So yeah. In Zahn's opinion, Legends Thrawn is Canon Thrawn is Book Thrawn, and there is no difference whatsoever between Thrawns in, say, Outbound Flight, Heir to The Empire, Alliances, and Chaos Rising. I wholeheartedly disagree, but lets move on.

Now that the books are out of the way, its time for Rebels.

In July of 2016, after the trailer announcing Thrawn's canon debut aired, Dave Filoni had the following to say about Thrawn's character in regards to Timothy Zahn:

“I was pretty adamant with a couple of people saying, ‘Listen, we need to have Tim sign off on this. This is kind of a waste of time [otherwise],'” says Filoni. “We, of course, can do what we want with a character that Lucasfilm owns, but without Tim’s okay, what does it mean? That’s not going to be good. Once we had some stuff, we wanted to do what we thought was right and make the character. Then we brought him in. We had the production fully prepared. I said, ‘Look, if there’s something that Tim says that I think is really valuable, even if it changes something dynamically, we need to be ready for that and see what we can do.’ I wanted to make sure we did this right by everybody. We brought him in and we didn’t really tell him why. We just flew him up to Lucasfilm and sat him down in a theater and said, ‘Hey, we’re bringing Thrawn into the show.’ He was like, ‘Wow.’ and I said, ‘Yeah, wow. And I’m going to show him to you right now and you let me know what you think.'”

(Before we continue, keep that first highlighted sentence in mind for future reference. I'm going to come back to that later.)

Fortunately, Timothy Zahn was delighted at the show’s approach to the Empire’s imposing blue-skinned Chiss.

“We showed him some of the scenes with him,” Dave Filoni recalls. “He looked like a kid in a candy store. I think it meant a lot to him not just because it was his character, but because you have to imagine what he went through when it was announced that everything is Legends now, not Expanded Universe. I get that and I’ve always appreciated the work that goes into the Expanded Universe… For Tim, I think it was us saying, ‘No, no, no. We really like your character. We want him to be part of the real thing. The canon universe.'”

So in 2016, before we even saw Thrawn in action beyond a trailer, we were told that Zahn gave the OK, and he was chill with the way Thrawn was created in the show. In 2017, he gave a little more of the background of this process in an interview with FANgirl Blog:

The events of Thrawn dovetail closely with Rebels and shed light on some of Thrawn’s more seemingly surprising actions on the show, like when he appears to lose his temper and yell at Lieutenant Lyste. What was it like to see Thrawn come alive onscreen? Is he how you’ve pictured him in your head?

I don’t see my characters in terms of voice or appearance, but rather as personality or attitude. That said, I very much enjoyed the way the Rebels team brought him to life, in his appearance, voice, and actions.

I also appreciated the freedom I had to tweak certain incidents, such as the one you mentioned, and give additional or alternate explanations for the viewers who may have thought those were somewhat out of character for him.

He doesn't really elaborate on this, but we can assume he had SOME creative input on Thrawn's character, and he was overall pretty happy with the choices made in the show.

But then, we have this from that earlier 2017 the Verge article:

When did you learn that Dave Filoni was intending to bring Thrawn to Rebels, and did you have any input into how the character would be handled?

[...] I didn’t have any real input into how Thrawn was going to be handled, mainly because the lead time of an animated series is so long that much of season 3 had already been finished. But I trusted Dave and the team to do the character right. After all, why bring him into Rebels if you were going to drastically change him? Having seen the entire season now, I think we can agree that my trust was completely justified.

So... he didn't have "any real input," but was satisfied with it in the end? I guess? I don't know. We're getting into some contradictions now.

The last thing I've got in regards to Rebels is an interview Zahn did with the YouTube channel Star Wars Explained after the finale aired, where he responds to the following:

“So, maybe let's jump over to Rebels for a little bit. Now that it has wrapped up, how do you feel Thrawn was represented in Star Wars: Rebels?”

“They did a really good job—they not only understood the character and how to write for him, but they also understood the meta around how you defeat him. The only way to defeat Thrawn is to throw something at him he can't control, or can't anticipate. Given perfect knowledge and control, Thrawn will always find a way to win. But they understood, this is how you defeat him, these are the things we can use against him... so his portrayal in general, is very good; he's smart, he's anticipating, he's a step ahead of everybody, he's looking at clues and picking up on them, so I was very pleased with how the Rebels team handled the character."

I think these quotes answer many of your questions, so to answer your initial question: If Zhan had been the writer for Rebels, do I think he would have had Thrawn bomb Lothal to bring Ezra out?

Yes—but ONLY because at that point, the only established™️ Thrawn content was found in Legends, where Thrawn was a ruthless and calculating warlord.

However!

I do believe that if given the chance to re-write the Star Wars: Rebels finale using his now-canon novels as a solid background TODAY, Zahn would choose to not let Thrawn bombard Lothal's Capital City.

I believe this because he made one single very interesting creative choice when writing Thrawn that completely overwrote Thrawn's pre-established Rebels character: Thrawn was not responsible for the civilian deaths on Batonn—Pryce was.

And that's that on that.

A few months ago I would have ended it there, but today, Thrawn's story is no longer just contained in the novels and Rebels, but also in that of The Mandalorian.

This is where I will proudly say I have no idea what the fuck is going on. Before The Jedi aired, I was 100% sure that the next time we saw Thrawn, it would be nowhere NEAR the Empire, because Zahn was pretty adamant in the novels that Thrawn was only in the Empire to help. His. People.

So now he's apparently doing fuck-knows-what in fuck-knows-where and is STILL associated with the Seventh Fleet and Imperial Warlords???

Huh??? Despite the fact that he held no true loyalty to the Empire or to the Emperor??? It's been months and I'm still confused as fuck. Add to the fact that Zahn also doesn't know what the fuck is going on to the equation and we get a big fat question mark with one pretty clear answer that Filoni said himself that we have to keep in mind:

"We, of course, can do what we want with a character that Lucasfilm owns."

So I don't think Zahn has much control over Thrawn as we would all like to think. We can hope he gives us the crazy Thrawn and Ezra Space Adventure™️ novel all we want, but ultimately, Thrawn's fate does not rest in his hands.

If you guys have more to add please let me know!!! This is, obviously, a topic I am very passionate about, so I'd love to hear your thoughts!

#tye answers asks #not the post youre looking for #thrawn #timothy zahn #thrawn trilogy #legends thrawn #star wars #rebels #lothal #star wars rebels #dave filoni #thrawn ascendancy #chaos rising #greater good #thrawn alliances #thrawn treason #thrawn books #wow this took a while #but I like the way this is looking

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

If you and muffin were vampires, would you be nomads?

If her and I, as we are, became vampires, you mean?

Well...

Say that I become a Twilight vampire. Somehow. Reality glitches, Twilight is suddenly not so fictional anymore, and I have become a Meyerpire.

... first on the agenda for me is I hope my family and my cats are nowhere near when this happens. That would be a bloodbath.

After that...

I get away from civilization as fast as I can. That's first priority. Regardless of whether I've killed anybody yet or no, I won't want to make it worse by staying.

So I run.

After that...

Per your ask, the same has happened to @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta. I, however, don't know this, nor does she know about me, because I know that my first priority when finding myself a vampire would not be to text the Muffin with the news.

On the contrary.

I can't be around people because I'm at such a risk of losing control. Even if I luck out and have ridiculously good control like Bella, I would never be able to risk going near people when there was a chance I might kill them. I'll have to let myself become a missing person. This means the police will start a search, and as they find nothing they will look through my electronics, every single digital footstep I ever left, hoping to find a clue as to what happened to me.

Which means I'm effectively cut off from contacting the Muffin, at least from an account I own.

I would have to contact her anonymously.

But to what end?

I just found out Twilight vampires are real. If they are, then it is not unreasonable to assume other things from Twilight are real. At least, I can't know that they're not.

I'm trying to get at the fact that for all I know, the Volturi could be real. They almost certainly are, really, because I am a Twilight vampire, which means Twilight vampires are real, and if Twilight vampires are real then the Volturi (or a similar organization with the same mission - I have no way of knowing to extent to which I can rely upon the books for accuracy) have to be real, otherwise the world would look very different.

If I tell the Muffin about what happened to me, not only will I be burdening her with the horror of knowing what happened to me, but I'm endangering her life. The Volturi of the books would want her turned or executed. Even if it isn't so in our world and she's safe knowing this secret, I would be subjecting her to a lifetime of always looking over her shoulder.

There's also the question of why I would tell her, and leave my family and friends in the dark. Familiar with Twilight lore as she is she could give good counsel and be my pep talk provider for whenever I doubted the animal diet, but... it just wouldn't feel right to leave my family in the dark, no answers, while making an exception for someone else.

Say, though, that I say "screw it all!" and decided to DM the Muffin.

She wouldn't get it.

The Muffin, after all, is in my exact situation. She'll have removed herself from anything with a pulse, she is letting the world believe she's dead. That means no address, no phone, no computer, nothing.

I have no way of contacting her, just as she has no way of contacting me.

I imagine we simply never find out the other has been turned as well, and spend our lives in respective misery.

But Vinelle, that's too depressing

Alright, take two: the Muffin and I wake up as vampires together. No explanation, we're in the same location in spite of having been contintents apart moments ago, and we're vampires.

I imagine once we've gathered our wits from the sheer shock of the situation we decide to try and Carlisle it. We'll eat deer, we'll learn control, we'll figure this out.

Should more things from Twilight turn out to be real, in the worst case scenario should everything be real and the Volturi are on the brink of being overthrown, then- we'll figure that out, too.

From there it all depends on how things turn out.

If we are able to be full on Carlisles, if we never lose control and our control improves, then that is good. We get better at this life, and eventually, after years upon years of practice we have good enough control to be around people. We watch every movie, show, and anime known to man, we read every book we can get our hands on, study every field, and we write a shitton of fanfiction we can't publish because people would probably recognize us. It's not a bad life.

We might not manage to be Carlisle, though.

We might lose control.

I think, if one of us loses control even once, that will be it.

We have no guarantee that this won't happen again. More, to say "It was only once, it hasn't happened before" will be to say that there is a set number of people we consider acceptable to kill.

I think we would both know that to say "It happened once: we'll simply try harder next time" would be to enter a slippery slope. We have excused this death. We will excuse more.

As only one of us lost control, it might be tempting to say that the one who failed has to be terminated, the other will keep trying. But that would be hopelessly lonely. As vampires we are isolated and cut off from the rest of the world, and each other would be all we had in this world. More, if the other finds themselves losing control in the future, she won't be able to kill herself. Twilight vampires don't have this luxury.

The kindest option, the bloodless option, the moral thing to do in this scenario is double suicide.

Still too depressing

The Muffin and I wake up as vampires, and since life is ridiculous we have a gift. This gift, specifically.

Realizing that our blogs were right about both Twilight vampires and gifts, we grow terrified thinking about what else our blogs could be right about. Is the apocalypse truly upon us?

Our life becomes a fight to a) prevent the Cullen-Volturi confrontation sure to come, b) regain access to our blogs so we can publish meta about how Twilight is gonna have the happiest ending, ever, in the history of happy endings.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #isekai #clonery #the carnivorous muffin

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alicanta77 · 3 years

Text

Finale: Glitter and Gold

Pairing: princess!y/n x prince!Chenle

Themes: royalty au, fluff, angst

Warnings: arranged marriage, violence, war, character death, injury, descriptions of injury and blood

Words: 11.5k

Inspiration: BTS - Blood, Sweat and Tears - orchestral cover

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Finale

tag list: @hiqhkey @jaeshatshop @lebrookestore @honei-n @cheonsa1004 @haechans-sunflower @crispy-chan @rvse-hvvck @chezzontop

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Note: This is it! The final chapter of Royal Blooded! I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has read and supported this story. The first chapter of this story was published before I had 100 followers on here, and now, as we celebrate the finale, we have over 1500. I have grown so much throughout the 9 months of my life that I spent creating this world, and every word of support, every message, every ask about it means so much to me. I’m a little emotional that it’s ending because of how long I spent on it and how much I put into it, but I am so excited to look forwards at everything that’s coming next. Thank you for the love on this, and enjoy the finale!

Felix xox

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~ 6 months later ~

You held your head high as you walked towards the throne room. You had your main servant walking behind you and two guards escorting you on either side. Your shoes made small tapping noises on the stone floor with every step you took and your clothes and hair gently flowed in time to the repetitive movement. Your lady in waiting was smoothing out your dress as you moved, trying to make everything look perfect. You paused as she quickly adjusted one final piece of hair before giving you a loving smile and hug and wishing you well.

Your chest felt tight with nerves and you took a deep breath. Your dress was beautiful, the most expensive one you owned and you were made up to look more beautiful than you think you ever had before. Your mother had bought this dress for you and, as soon as you had seen it your jaw had dropped, the scarlet red colour complimented your skin tone perfectly and the gold details that swirled around to form the shape of dragons were captivating.

You knew that a dress like this would only be wearable on a day like today, the most important day of your life.

You approached the grand doors, nodding at the two knights guarding the entrance with a smile, both of whom bowed back before moving their spears and opening the grand doors for you.

The throne room appeared in all its glory. The metal chandelier hung from the ceiling, dangling above the engraved stone floors that were currently stood on by the entire court. The court and knights of your kingdom were all in neat rows on the left of the room, framed by the sculpted columns that ran up the walls, engraved with detailed patterns. On the right side of the great hall stood another court entirely. One which you had met once and had recently had the pleasure of getting to know better. Their red and gold emblems were proudly on display on their cloaks, letting everyone who saw them know that they were the court of the royal kingdom of Shanghai.

You remembered doing this over a year and a half ago, only then you had been meeting Chenle for the first time. If someone had told you just how much he would come to mean to you in such a short amount of time, you would never have believed them. You had thought it would take you years to fall for the boy you were arranged to marry, but life is funny like that. You look back now and you don’t see him as the boy you were arranged to love, but rather the boy you were destined to.

However, even with all this going on around you, you couldn’t take your eyes off the boy waiting for you at the end of the hall. He too was dressed in his finest clothes, the dark green and silver colours of your kingdom decorating his outfit. As you walked down the hall, dressed in the representative colours of Shanghai, his face split into the largest smile you had ever seen.

His eyes never left your face as you moved closer to him with every step, in fact, it took all of Chenle’s self restraint not to run towards you right there and then. You finally reached the front and Chenle offered a hand to help you up the few steps.

You accepted, your hands slotting together as if they were jigsaw pieces. You lifted your dress with your left hand, making sure not to step on it and accidentally rip it or, god forbid, face plant. You would never recover from the embarrassment if that happened.

Luckily you made it up the three stairs without any problems, but now you faced the challenge of speaking. You knew Chenle was going to speak first so you had time to mentally prepare yourself, but deep down you felt an overwhelming sense of serenity. You knew that you would be fine. You had been taking public speaking classes since you were young and you’d addressed more people than this in one go before. Just as with the stairs, you knew that nothing would happen, but your mind went to the worst case scenario. You just wanted this day to be perfect, after all, you were only doing it once.

You and Chenle tore your eyes away from each other as you turned your attention to the front, where your childhood tutor, now a well respected member of the court and keeper of the archives, was about to speak.

“We are gathered here today for the wedding and coronation of Prince Chenle and Princess y/n.”

~ flashback ~

“Will you marry me?”

The words left Chenle’s lips and it was as if they kick started your brain into action. You threw yourself at him, his arms catching you as the two of you hit the ground in a heap.

“Yes.” You cried repeatedly. “Yes, with all my heart.”

Chenle rolled the two of you over so that you were lying on top of him, the laughter that was emitting from the two of you radiated pure happiness. You sat up, kneeling next to Chenle as he gently grabbed your hand.

He held you so softly, his thumb gently caressing the back of your palm as he slipped the diamond onto your finger. A second passed in which the two of you stared at the jewel, the symbol of a silent promise to love each other until the end of time.

You looked up at him, eyes shining and his hands came up to cup your face. He pulled you in and you kissed him with everything you had.

You’d lost count of the amount of time you’d kissed Chenle, but this was different. This held so much more to it. It was as if it was a kiss that made all the other kisses on the planet seem pathetic. Love exploded between the two of you, your love, the kind of love that would last a lifetime.

You both pulled away, the need to breath breaking the captivating spell that Chenle had cast on you with that kiss. He leant down, resting his forehead on yours as you both closed your eyes and enjoyed being so close to the one you adored.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, afraid that if his words were any louder they would shatter the perfect moment.

“I love you more.” You whispered back, grinning as you heard Chenle chuckle quietly.

He pulled his forehead off yours only to replace it with his lips for a soft kiss.

“That’s not possible.”

~ flashback ends ~

The great hall was decorated with banners of both your kingdom and Shanghai. Ever since the engagement announcement, the castle had been in full on planning mode, preparing everything for this day to be perfect. There had been banquets, feasts and balls thrown in your honour, with gifts from kingdoms far and wide coming to the two of you in congratulations.

Word had been sent to Chenle’s family in Shanghai and they had announced that they would be coming to visit for the wedding. You had never felt happier than when you saw the smile on Chenle’s face when he was told he was going to see his family. His parents and three older brothers, Kun, Sicheng and Renjun, were all leaving Shanghai to attend, and they were planning on staying with you for a couple of days either side of the monumental event.

However, the good news about Chenle’s family came with bad news about yours. Your mother was frail, ill and barely eating anymore. She spent her days drowning herself in work so she didn’t have to focus on the cold empty space in her bed beside her. For the past 6 months she had worked diligently and done everything she could, but one night she came into your bedroom and quietly asked to speak to you and Chenle.

She told you that she didn’t think she could do it anymore, she didn’t think she could rule the kingdom. She explained that she had only managed to take on all the duties because she had had her husband, your father, by her side. But he wasn’t here anymore, and she couldn’t go on with the burden, it was simply too much for her to bear.

After a long and heavy conversation, your mother announced the next morning that she would soon be stepping down from ruling, and allowing you and Chenle to ascend to the thrones. She addressed her people, admitting to them that she was unfit to govern them and that she felt it was unfair to keep herself on the throne and deny them a better pair of rulers. She then proceeded to inform them that the wedding would be combined with the coronation so that you would be married and crowned on the same day.

You would be lying if you said that this hadn’t had an effect on you. You were already feeling the stress of your title, and you had been working closely with a group of advisors and your mother to introduce you to the world of being Queen. But, still, you were terrified. What if you weren’t a good ruler? What if you made a bad choice for your people? What if this affects your relationship with Chenle? You wouldn’t even get a chance to get used to being married before the role of King and Queen would be thrust upon you. But you forced yourself to ignore the growing voice in your head that filled your being with doubt. You had been preparing for this day your entire life, and now that it was here, you refused to let down those people who had helped you along the way. You would do your best, and make them proud.

So here you were. Standing next to the man you loved, about to promise your everything to him forever. Even though you had been filled to the brim with nerves before entering, as soon as you had locked eyes with Chenle, all of that had melted away. You knew that, as long as you had him by your side, the two of you could handle anything.

While the wedding was only attended to by family and members of the court, the celebrations ran throughout the entire kingdom, with all your people overjoyed at the beautiful ceremony.

You listened as the officiant went through the traditional wedding procedure, both you and Chenle replying with the rehearsed statements. His hand never left yours and you couldn’t express how relieved you were that it didn’t. The physical reassurance that he was there grounded you.

You turned to face each other, holding your joined hands out for the gold ribbon to be wrapped around them. The officiant continued to speak, his words about unity and strength reminding you of your father’s speech when Chenle first arrived with his family. So many things about this day were taking you back to the beginning, and the similarities were making you miss your father more than anything.

You felt a small squeeze on your hand and looked into Chenle’s soft brown eyes. He gave you a nod, one so minute that it would be unnoticeable to anyone who wasn’t you. You repeated the move to him, another reassurance that the two of you were there for each other, no matter what.

The officiant moved on to the vows, Chenle going first before you followed, saying the words you had recently memorised. Due to you both being royals, you couldn’t write personal vows and you had to stick to the scripture, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t mean every word. You meant it with your whole body when you promised to stand by him for as long as you lived, to look after him as best you could, and to support and love him no matter what. And from the look in your soon to be husband’s face, he meant every word he said too.

“Chenle, do you take y/n as your wife?”

“I do.” He spoke, sincerity strong in his voice and you didn’t bother to fight the smile that grew across your face at his certain words. The only thing you didn’t know, was that Chenle had never been so sure of anything in his life.

“Y/n, do you take Chenle as your husband?”

“I do.” You repeated Chenle’s answer, your voice just as steady and sure as his had been, your mindset reflecting that as well.

You were still scared out of your mind at what was going to happen after today, but the thought of having Chenle by your side for the rest of your life, that didn’t scare you at all. No, that thought was the most comforting thing on the planet.

And that thought was just about to become your reality.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Chenle wasted absolutely no time, moving forwards before the officiant had even finished speaking, gently grabbing your face and pulling you in for a kiss. You smiled into the kiss, your hands coming up to rest on his waist.

The kiss wasn’t long, the awareness that your families and courts were watching you not quite having left your mind. But it held everything, the past years that you had known each other, your entire journey together into who you were now was told in the few seconds that Chenle’s lips pressed against yours. The clapping and cheers brought the two of you fully back to reality as you pulled back. You leaned back in for an even shorter kiss, officially sealing the eternal bond between the two of you.

“I love you.” You whispered, Chenle chuckling.

“That was my line.” You opened your eyes to look at him and he smiled down at you. “But I love you too.”

You both pulled away, as the claps gradually died down and the ceremony began to progress. The two of you barely had time to register the giant step you had just taken before you were being instructed to kneel in front of the thrones and the crowns were held above your head.

You were sure that it had taken longer than you realised, but you were so wrapped up in the feeling of loving Chenle, and how much he loved you, that it felt as though not even thirty seconds had passed.

And yet, here you were, repeating yet another set of responses that you had been taught, promising to protect and fairly govern the people, vowing to follow the example set by those who ruled before you and do whatever you can to live according to the traditions and customs of your kingdom.

As the final vows left both your lips, you felt the gold crown land on your head, the heaviness of the metal it was made out of, and the title it represent, weighing you down already.

“I crown you King Chenle. I crown you Queen y/n.”

With those words, you pulled your legs underneath you and stood, turning around to face the people of your courts. Chenle reached for your hand once again, this time you interlinked your fingers, intertwining your hands as a physical sign of the link between your kingdoms.

The throne room erupted in cheers and clapping once again, this time to an almost deafening volume. You and Chenle began to walk back down the middle, waving and smiling at those closest to you as you passed. You walked all the way out of the throne room and straight onto the balcony, ready to greet your people as their official rulers.

---

You stood just outside the balcony together waiting for the words that would signal the two of you to step outside. You hadn’t spoken to anyone yet, just waiting for you final duties of the day so that you could celebrate with your friends and families.

“Did you feel as though that went really quickly?” Chenle asked out of nowhere, making you jump slightly at the sudden noise before your eyes widened in agreement.

“It did! Leading up to the ceremony felt like an eternity, but then as soon as the ceremony began, it went in a flash. I’m not sure I was even there for half of it.” You muttered the last part, but Chenle’s sharp hearing caught your words none the less and he chuckled whilst muttering out a softer reply.

“Me neither. It kind of feels as though it hasn’t happened yet.”

“Exactly.” You didn’t realise how nervous you had still been until the realisation that you were both feeling the same way. You both fell into silence, it was comfortable but it still felt as though there was a lot that the two of you were leaving unsaid.

“You know-” Chenle paused his words to swallow his nerves, he hadn’t been this nervous around since the two of you met. “I’m starting to remember why I was so nervous for this marriage when I met you.”

You looked at him, the short distance between you suddenly feeling like a million miles.

“Me too.” You admitted softly. “It doesn’t matter how long we’ve known each other, there’s still a pressure for this marriage to be successful and for our kingdom to flourish.”

Chenle whispered a quiet “Yeah”, showing you that he was feeling exactly the same way.

“Chenle?” His eyes shot up from his feet to yours and you could see the nerves bubbling in them. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek and you took a step forward to grab on of the hands that he had behind his back. “Listen to me, I thought you weren’t nervous at all. Honestly, I thought I was the only one freaking out.”

“Trust me you weren’t.” Chenle said dryly, moving slightly so that he was facing you full on.

“I know that now, but I didn’t when I really needed to.”

“What are you saying?” Chenle asked, his brows creasing with worry at your soft words. He knew you only spoke with this tone of voice when you had something important to say to him.

“I’m saying we need to communicate. We need to tell each other the truth, talk about how we feel, both the good things, and the bad. We’re in this together, and that means we don’t need to be perfect for each other. We just need to be there.”

Chenle nodded, a small smile finally making it’s way onto his face as he pulled you closer by the hand that was already in his. His arms came to wrap around your shoulders and you fell into his arms for a hug. You felt his scent overcome you and drown your senses and you let out a deep sigh, feeling some of your worries and concerns leaving you with it.

“You’re right. I know you are and I promise to tell you when I’m stressing out of my mind or nervous to the point where my knees are shaking, especially if I can’t tell anyone else. We’re married now so that means you’re stuck with me no matter what.” Chenle looked down at you, grinning that signature grin of his that you fell in love with until a look of shock suddenly shot across his face. “Holy shit, we’re married!”

You stared at him in confusion.

“What did you think the wedding ceremony meant?” You asked him as Chenle waved you off.

“No, no, I mean, I knew we were married but I guess it’s starting to sink in that we’re really married. Like I get to have you by my side forever...” Chenle trailed off, his eyes never leaving your face.

You leaned up to him, pressing your lips together softly, before pulling back slightly and whispering:

“Well you better get used to it, because it’s you and me for the rest of time now.”

A trumpet riff interrupted your moment, signalling that your time was almost upon you. You and Chenle got into position just as the doors in front of you opened and you prepared to greet your people.

You walked out into the sunlight, the sound of cheers and shouts overwhelming you as you waved to the citizens you had just promised to govern. Chenle’s hand found you once more, holding onto it tightly and pulling you slightly closer as he waved with his free hand. His grip remained tight, and you squeezed it reassuringly leaning in so that only he could hear before saying “I got you” and he seemed to relax. His grip loosened slightly and his smile faded into a genuine expression of joy and awe and you grinned, knowing that you loved him more than anything else on this planet.

The announcer lifted his hand, calling for momentary silence as he uttered the words that were followed by the largest cheer and celebration of them all.

“May I present, for the first time, the King and Queen of Ivairis!”

---

You laughed as Chenle twirled you around in time to the music, before pulling you back in and dipping you gently. You’d lost track of how long the celebrations had been going on for, but the music and lights had hypnotised you into staying longer and longer to enjoy the night.

You’d had the pleasure of meeting Chenle’s brothers as well. Kun was first in line for the throne, he was also married and honestly was the epitome of a perfect heir. Sicheng was second in line for the throne and, before you had met you had been slightly intimidated by him. After meeting him, however you had learnt he was one of the nicest people and so easy to get along with. Family was everything to him, and he spent most of his time working with new recruits for the Shanghai army.

Renjun was closest in age to Chenle, with only a year and a half separating them, and it was clear that they were closest to each other. Chenle had previously confided in you that, since he had three brothers, he hadn’t had much attention from his parents when he was young, and it was Renjun who was there for him. It was Renjun who had essentially shown him how to learn to grow up. Their casual bickering provided you with huge amounts of entertainment, but it was clear that they cherished each other dearly, and Renjun was so proud of everything Chenle had accomplished here.

The most bittersweet moment however, came when Chenle’s father approached you and asked to dance. He had the same kind smile on his face that he always wore and you easily agreed. He led you out onto the dance floor, just as he did the day Chenle first arrived at Ivairis.

“You two have come a long way since the last time we met.” King Zhong commented, a twinkle in his eyes that made you smile.

“You gave me some good advice.” You admitted to him. “When you came here, and we danced you told me: don’t rush this. And that was the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me. I feel like I married my best friend.”

King Zhong smiled down at you, blinking twice as he tried to figure out the best way to say his next words.

“Y/n-” You looked up at him as he paused, before swallowing and continuing. “I know how much you must have wanted your father to be here, he was such a brilliant man and I’m so sorry he couldn’t be with us today.”

“Me too.” You whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the music and people chatting in the background.

“I know that no one else will say this to you, so I will.” You looked up once again, to see him looking down at you with an expression that reminded you so much of your own father that it brought tears to your eyes. “I’m proud of you.”

You felt even more tears gather rapidly in your eyes at that, and you blinked repeatedly to keep them at bay. Chenle’s father’s hands came up to rest on your shoulders and hugged you. You hugged him back, feeling the fatherly warmth from his hug calm you down slightly.

“Thank you.” You said as he pulled back and smiled at you. He nodded at you, patting you on the head gently before the two of you continued to dance. You couldn’t quite describe the comfort that his words had brought you. Deep down you knew your father would be proud of you and all you had accomplished, you just wish he had been here to see it happen.

The song that was playing came to a stop, and you stepped away to clap for the musicians. You and Chenle’s father smiled at each other, before you excused yourself to the sides, needing a short break. You stood quietly and just observed the scene in front of you. There were countless members of the courts of Shanghai and Ivairis dancing together, you saw Chenle’s parents dancing in the middle as well, Renjun was speaking to Jisung by the side, saying something that caused Jisung to stare at the older boy with his eyes wide in amazement. Over on the other side of the hall were Taeyong, Jaehyun, Sicheng and Kun, all immersed in deep conversation and you could see both Jaemin and Jeno heading over to join the conversation. In fact you could see everyone except for-

“Hi love.” You felt a soft kiss on your cheek as you turned to your left and saw how Chenle had snuck up on you without you noticing.

“Hi.” You replied, smiling up at him.

“I was thinking, do you remember the celebration when we came back from the battle against Odin’s kingdom?” You nodded at his words and he carried on. “Well, what would you say about going back into the town again? Not just us though, opening the doors to the palace and courtyard and bringing the musicians outside so that the court and citizens can all celebrate as one?”

“Chenle...” You breathed. “I think that’s an amazing idea.”

His face split into a wide grin at your words and you both immediately moved to put his plan into action. You split up to find different guards who were on the doors, and explain to them what you would like to do. They seemed slightly hesitant, as this had never been done before, but they couldn’t disagree with their new King and Queen so they did exactly as you asked. You walked back into the hall, finding Chenle there waiting for you and the door remained open after you had arrived.

You slipped your hand into Chenle’s and he squeezed it gently, while signalling the musicians to stop playing. An air of confusion came over the room as every single pair of eyes came to rest on the two of you.

“Whenever we have a celebration, it seems to be split in two, with a chosen few celebrating in the castle, and the rest down in the town. The Queen and I would like to change this.”

“Indeed.” You took over from Chenle, your voice strong as you addressed the courts. “The whole emphasis of this marriage and alliance is on unity, and so, as we stand united in two different kingdoms, we will also stand united with all our people. We would like to invite you to join us as we go into the lower town for the rest of the night.”

There were a few murmurs amongst the crowd, but most people nodded and smiled in agreement, understanding your point on unity. You gestured for the musicians to come first, allowing them to be set up amongst the others playing in the lower towns before the rest of you began to move. You and Chenle were amongst the last people to leave, with only Jisung behind you.

He was grinning at the two of you like the Cheshire cat, shaking his head slightly as he chuckled.

“What is it?” Chenle asked his friend, rolling his eyes jokingly.

“Only the two of you would do something like this. In your first few hours as King and Queen, you break up an age-old tradition because of the separation and divide it causes. Only you would realise that and take the step to do something about it.” Jisung shrugged, brushing off his own words as if they were meaningless, but you knew he knew how much they meant to Chenle and yourself. If your marriage was supposed to bring unity, you had to make sure that you were making sure that it did. “Come on then, let’s go dance!”

He stepped in between the two of you, throwing his arms over each of your shoulders as the three of you burst out into laughter and headed into the lower town together, ready to dance the night away.

---

Both you and Chenle relied heavily on advisors during your first months of ruling. You mother stepped down and completely away from royal duties and, even though you felt as though you needed her guidance at times, you couldn’t ask her for help. She barely remembered who you were anymore, much less how to rule a kingdom. You visited her everyday, as did Chenle, and each time hurt more than the last. Watching the clouds pass over your mother’s mind as she struggles to place the face of the child who she cared for and loved all her life, was an indescribable pain.

She always remembered you eventually, something that you counted yourself very lucky for. You remember sitting by her bed, holding her hand as you spoke to her late one evening, telling her about a successful conclusion that you had come to during a council meeting that day.

“You’re doing so well my dear.” She spoke, her voice gravelly as if her throat was constantly dry.

“I’m trying.” You replied, forcing a smile on your face so that she wouldn’t see how tired you were. “I’ll make you proud.”

Your mother tightened her grip on your hand, encouraging you to look her in the eyes as she spoke again.

“You already have.”

She passed away that night.

You were almost relieved that her suffering was over, but her loss hit both you and Chenle very hard. She had become a second mother to him, and you knew how much he loved her. The night you both lost her, you stayed together, hugging each other and crying, just allowing yourselves to be vulnerable before you had to put on another strong appearance for your people when you appeared for the funeral.

Her funeral was identical to your fathers. She was laid, in her best clothes, softly in a long boat, decorated with flowers and pushed down along the river. You held Chenle’s shaking hand in your own as you both whispered your goodbyes into the lanterns and let them fly off into the sky. Allowing your mother to finally be reunited with the man she loved.

You walked back into your shared room, breathing out a heavy sigh as the doors closed behind you and you could finally drop the act you’d been holding all day. Sitting in those meetings, talking with different noblemen of the court about petty details, you had never felt more alone.

You were struggling to come to terms with the fact that you held the entire responsibility of this kingdom on your shoulders, and you didn’t have your parents to show you how to do it anymore. You rested your back against your door, and allowed your knees to give out and for you to sink to the floor.

Once you softly hit the ground you just sat there. You didn’t cry, you didn’t speak, you didn’t move. You just sat there, listening to the sounds of the kingdom around you. You shut your eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in your mind as time passed you by.

A knock on your door forced you to open your eyes and pull yourself back into reality. You stood up and quickly opened your door, finding one of your main advisors there with the paperwork for tomorrow’s sessions. You thanked him, accepting the documents and closed the door once more.

You stepped further into your room, placing the papers down on the desk you had before turning around, planning to lie down on your bed, but your gaze was caught by a figure standing on your balcony.

He had his back to you and was leaning over, but you knew without needing to see his face that it was Chenle. From the way that he was hunched over the balcony to the way he rolled his scarred shoulder every so often to keep the injured muscle moving, you knew he was deep in thought. You debated whether you should go out to see him, wondering if it was best to just leave him thinking, and eventually you turned away, deciding to leave him to his thoughts.

You pulled off your shoes, removed your jewellery and combed through your hair with your fingers. You looked at the small pile of jewellery on your dresser, before reaching down slowly and picking up the silver ring that bared the royal seal of Ivairis. Your bottom lip began to tremble as your mind was flooded with memories of your parents and your childhood. From your mother gently tying up your hair in the mornings, to your father bringing you along to meetings and you hiding behind his legs.

You dropped the ring, your head falling into your hands as you finally let the tears fall. Your breath shortened as you quietly sobbed into your hands, hiccuping as you tried to catch your breath. You needed to see Chenle. You stood up, whirling around to run out to the balcony, but instead you were greeted with him standing in front of you. He had come back inside, and you had been so lost in your sadness that you hadn’t realised.

The two of you stood there, staring at each other, both having red eyes and countless tear tracks down your faces. Chenle said nothing, and instead just opened his arms and you ran into them, the force of your bodies colliding making him take a step back to steady the two of you, but it didn’t matter.

You completely broke down, sobbing into his shoulder as Chenle tried to console you. He gently stroked your head with one hand, the other resting comfortably on your waist as he whispered soft words of comfort into your ear. It didn’t seem to be helping as your crying wasn’t stopping at all.

Chenle’s voice broke more as he tried to talk and all it took was you tightening your grip on him for him to give up on trying to hold it together. He buried his face into your shoulder and let the grief overcome him, crying for the people who took him in and gave him a home.

You both held onto each other for dear life, as if the other would slip through your fingers if you let go for a second. It took a while for you to calm down, feeling as though you only stopped crying because you ran out of tears. You brought your hand up to the back of Chenle’s head, running your fingers through his hair and placing a feather light kiss to his temple.

Even after the two of you calmed down, the sadness was still there, drowning your every thought.

“I’m not ready to be Queen.” You admitted, your voice so quiet, as if you were scared for the words to come out. “I thought I’d have more time, I thought I’d be able to get used to the idea of doing it by myself but I’m not. I’m not ready for any of this, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not ready either.” Chenle croaked back, his voice sore from the amount of crying he had done already that night. “My parents may still be alive, but they aren’t here, they aren’t close and I can’t contact them easily enough to ask for help when I need it. I just feel... isolated.” Chenle voice broke once again as he pushed his head further into your shoulder.

“Me too. I’ve never felt this alone.” You whispered, not trusting your voice to speak any louder.

This time Chenle didn’t reply, instead just silently nodding as he held you close. You both understood that you didn’t need advice, or a solution. At least, not yet, right now, all you needed, was to tell the other how you felt. Finally saying the words, admitting the overwhelming emotions that had been weighing you down for the past few months, had already made you feel lighter.

He pulled his head out from your shoulder to rest his forehead on yours. You breathed out, leaning into him as he kept his comforting grip on you. Your eyes were closed, as your mind focused on the one fact that Chenle was standing right there with you, and he understood how you felt.

“I’m sorry.” His quiet whisper making you open your eyes in confusion.

“What for?” You asked and Chenle sighed, as if he was preparing to get something off his chest.

“For not telling you. We made a deal on our wedding day to always be honest with each other about how we were feeling, and I didn’t tell you, and now we’re both here breaking down...”

“Chenle... I’m sorry too. You weren’t the only one keeping things to yourself.” You swallowed, before finally pulling your forehead off his and losing at him straight on. “We aren’t used to this. And I don’t just mean being King and Queen, I mean all of it. We aren’t used to being married, we aren’t used to be sole rulers, we aren’t used to being alone. We had just got married when we then got crowned what felt like five minutes after.”

“We need to figure out who we are as a King and Queen, and who we are as husband and wife. And they don’t necessarily need to be the same people.” You nodded at Chenle’s words before adding onto them with your own.

“There’s so much pressure on this, and I think a lot of that is coming from us. We need to take a step back from being this groundbreaking alliance, and just be us. Chenle and y/n, just two people in love, not the King and Queen of Ivairis whose wedding united lands for generations to come. We don’t need to be our titles, we just need to be-”

“Us.” Chenle finished and you nodded. “And we need to mean it this time. We can’t just say that we’re going to be honest and open with each other and then keep things to ourselves. We’re a team. It’s you and me y/n, and nothing is going to change that.”

You leaned up, closing the small distance between the two of you and pressing your lips to his. He kissed you back, sighing into it slightly before you both pulled away. The kiss was short, but it was enough. It was a promise.

You weren’t just these young kids in love anymore, trying to figure out the best way to spend time with their crush. You were grown adults, married, ruling a kingdom, but no matter how far you went, or how much you grew, you knew that Chenle would always be by your side. You knew that now better than ever.

And for the first time in a long while, neither of you felt alone.

---

You and Chenle kept to your promise, coming to talk to each other, to trust the other to be vulnerable with the smallest of details. Whether it was a certain knight in training being a bit arrogant, or a trade deal you were unsure was worth you signing off on, you shared it with each other. Your close bond as husband and wife translated into your royal duties and you found yourselves settling into a good rhythm as King and Queen.

But nothing good lasts forever.

You and Chenle stayed late after a particularly gruelling council session. The repairs to the outlying villages were almost complete, and the bandit attacks had decreased to them being almost non-existent. A few more supplies were being organised to be sent down, and Chenle was still keen on the idea of training some of the people in the outlying villagers so that, if a bandit attack does happen, they can defend themselves. However, a couple of council members were arguing that it would be a waste of resources to train them, which resulted in a lengthy discussion that lasted for much longer than planned.

With both you and Chenle in agreement however, there was not much that the council men could do against it once the decision had been made. They would send some knights down to the outlying villages to train the few they could, and then that knowledge would be passed down from generation to generation, with knights arriving every once in a while to help out and make sure the correct technique was being practiced.

You quickly instructed a messenger to deliver this note the following morning, thinking that nobody needs to be disturbed this late. The two of you were looking over the plans, deciding on the knights who would go when the doors to the great hall burst open and a scout of yours came running in.

“Mark, what’s wrong?” Chenle asked worriedly, noticing the look of panic on the older boy’s face.

“Fayre’s kingdom, your majesty. They heard of the Queen’s mother passing and that the two of you ascended to the throne and they think you’ll be weak. They’re planning to attack Ivairis with the full force of their army.” Mark relayed the bad news, breathing heavily as he tried to recover from his rush to the palace.

“Oh god.” You breathed, your hand coming to your face in shock. This was not good. Fayre was one of the strongest and bloodthirsty kings around, and if he wanted Ivairis, chances were he wouldn’t stop until he had it.

You and Chenle shared one look and knew that you had to act fast. Chenle called for the guards to bring in his closest knights, two scouts and a messenger, while you whirled on Mark to ask him more questions.

“When did their army leave?”

“Three days ago, I rushed to get back here to warn you before them.”

“Thank you Mark, you may have saved us by doing that. If they left three days ago, they still have at least two before they reach us here, meaning we could send our army out to meet them somewhere we choose.” You thought out loud, Mark rapidly nodding his head next to you.

Chenle reappeared out of nowhere, you not even having noticed he’d left in your state of panic. His arms held a bunch of rolled up papers that depicted the maps of the surrounding lands.

“I’m way ahead of you.” He said, placing them all on the round table in front of you as you rolled them out and moved them into position.

You were lining up details to get a larger picture when the people Chenle had summoned began to arrive. Jisung came first, the head of the royal guard was always ready to be called for his job, with both Jeno and Taeyong close behind. The two scouts, Yangyang and Shotaro came next, with Jaemin close behind and Jaehyun and the other messenger Xiaojun arrived last.

You didn’t both to tell them to take a seat or to greet them, the stakes were simply too high. Instead you just told them the news straight away, not wasting time by sugarcoating it or easing into it at all.

“Fayre is planning to attack Ivairis.”

You heard a chorus of worried inhales of breath, signalling the panic that the rest of the group were feeling. You nodded at Mark, allowing him to explain the rest of the details.

“They left their kingdom three days ago and were travelling south, aiming to take this route here to avoid getting spotted by the Ivairis patrol. As far as I’m aware, this plan wasn’t changed, meaning that, as long as nothing disrupts their route, they should reach Ivairis by sunset in two days time and will likely attack the following morning.”

“Our best shot is heading out to meet them somewhere, like we did with Odin’s kingdom.” Jisung spoke first, the rest nodding in agreement. “I would place my bets on somewhere like here.” He reached forwards and circled a certain spot on the map. “It’s not sheltered, so there’s no chance for a surprise attack. While that limits our chances of coming up with one ourselves, Fayre destroys his enemies by drawing them in and then having a second plan up his sleeve.”

“Jisung’s right.” Taeyong said, all eyes flicking towards him as he spoke. “We can’t try to outsmart him by using his own tactics against him, that’s how people get killed. We need to force him into a situation where he has to fight us on our terms, that’s our best shot.”

“Xiaojun-” Chenle called out, the boy’s head shooting up at his king’s voice. “I need you to send word to Shanghai, tell them of the severity of the situation and that we need reinforcements as soon as possible.” Xiaojun nodded, quickly making a note of the battle location before disappearing.

You turned to the other two scouts.

“Yangyang, Shotaro, you need to scout the army. Get us a rough idea of numbers and see if there’s any weak spots. There won’t be enough time for you to report back to us here so you’ll need to tell the army when they arrive at the battle location, understand?” Both of the boys nodded at your words, before heading back out of the door to go do as you asked.

“What about me?” Mark asked, but you shook your head.

“You’ve done enough Mark.” You said, not allowing him to put himself in danger again.

“But they trust me, I could find out more insider information, I-”

“No, Mark.” Chenle cut him off. “Y/n’s right, you’ve done more than enough. Without you we would never stand a chance, that’s for sure. Plus as soon as we meet them they will know that we had a man on the inside, and it won’t take long for them to figure out it’s you. We can’t put you in that danger.”

Mark nodded, understanding your decision before you both thanked him again and allowed him to go for the night.

“What about us?” Jaehyun asked and Chenle turned to look at the remaining knights, his face grave.

“Be ready to prepare the troops in the morning. We’re going to war.”

---

One night. That was all it took for your world to be thrown upside down. In one night you had gone from council meetings and rebuilding the outlying villages to sending the man you loved off to war. You were standing in your joint room, watching as he finished getting dressed just as the first rays of light were appearing through the window. You walked towards him, silently taking the necklace out of his hands and fastening it yourself.

He turned around to face you but you didn’t take your gaze off the jewellery he was wearing. He wore it everyday, a simple necklace with two seals on it. One being the royal seal of Shanghai and the other being the royal seal of Ivairis. The symbol of his two nations. Chenle noticed you avoiding his gaze and brought his hands to your face, gently cupping your jaw and guiding you to look at him.

He leant in, placing a kiss on your forehead and your hand gripped at the fabric around his waist.

“If things aren’t going well-”

“Stop.” You said, not wanting to hear about what would happen if they lost this war. If they lost, Chenle would be dead, and you didn’t want to think about the possibility of that happening.

“Listen.” Chenle commanded softly. “If things aren’t going well, I’ll send a Shanghai messenger back here. You need to get as many of our people as you can, and take them with you to Shanghai. I made sure Xiaojun mentioned in the message the possibility of that happening and I know they would look after you. They reassured us we always have a home there, and I know that would apply to you if I don’t come back from this.” Your hands tightened their grip around his shirt at his words. “If anything happens to me... I need to know that you’ll be safe.”

You nodded silently and Chenle breathed a sigh of relief at your agreement, moving his hands from your face to around your shoulders to hug you close as you did the same around his waist. You buried your face in his chest, breathing in as much of him as you could before you had to let him go.

You walked with him through the castle, your hand held tightly in his as you both approached the main doors. You knew that beyond those doors stood your entire army, waiting for their king to lead them into battle. You suddenly stopped moving, causing Chenle to turn back in confusion.

You stared at him for a second, trying to find the right words to say before just throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him as tightly as you could. Chenle caught you, wrapping his own arms around your waist and squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to make this fleeting moment last forever.

“Come back to me.” You whispered.

“I promise.”

---

It had been a month.

An entire month and the only sign you’d had that they were still alive were the two letters from the Shanghai reinforcements sending word to you that they had arrived at the battlefield to help. The knowledge that they had extra men fighting with them was reassuring, but not hearing a single word from Chenle, not knowing if he was even alive, for a whole month was tearing you apart.

The entire kingdom had been in a state of fear. The outlying villages had been told to be prepared to move into the citadel in case the battle was lost so that they could barricade themselves in and be protected. Every citizen had their nerves on fire for the past month as they all waited for any kind of news.

You had been in the weekly review of the tax collection when the sound of horses hooves caught your attention. The entire table froze, knowing that, one way or another, the battle was over. The doors to the great hall burst open and Mark appeared, nodding at you, a relieved expression on his face.

“It’s them.”

You dropped the paper in your hand, standing up and running out of the hall. You ran down the corridors, Mark by your side and you didn’t stop for anything. Various other members of the court and servants in the castle joined you as they all were eager to welcome the knights home, but all you cared about was finding Chenle.

You burst out of the front doors just in time to see the last of the knights trickle back in. Your jaw dropped, nothing could have prepared you for the sight in front of you.

Out of all the knights who went to battle, only around a fifth of them made it back. Your eyes did a desperate scan of the faces of the live men. You saw Taeyong, who had his left arm in a makeshift sling, Jaehyun and Jaemin were carrying an unresponsive Jeno between them, the large red stain on Jeno’s shirt giving away that he was seriously injured, and Jisung was standing further down the steps in front of you.

You couldn’t see Chenle anywhere.

Jisung took a few steps towards you, limping heavily, and you rushed down to him, throwing your arms around him in a hug.

He caught you with a grunt and you tried to apologise but the words got stuck in your throat. You were shaking slightly in his hold but Jisung still hugged you tightly, relieved to be back home.

“We won.” He whispered, and you nodded slowly at his words before pulling back.

“At what cost?” You asked, too scared to directly voice the question that was plaguing your mind.

Did Chenle survive?

“He’s alive. The last I saw him, he was alive.” Jisung answered your unasked question, a small ounce of relief flooding your system, but it didn’t nothing to calm the furious fear at the fact that nobody knew where he was.

You took a couple of steps back to find all the knights looking at you for your words. You found that you didn’t even know what to say to them, how could you comfort someone who has been through the ordeal they have?

You cleared your throat before addressing the men in front of you.

“Our brave knights. There are no words to describe how thankful we are to you for everything you have done for us. You bravery and sacrifice will never be forgotten. Today, we will have our traditional victory procession, and I would like to add a moment at the end, for anyone to address anything they would wish to. And to speak to or about anyone they may have lost. Please go to the court physician and your people in Ivairis are eternally indebted to you.” Your voice broke slightly at the end and the knights all nodded at you in appreciation.

They each headed inside one by one, only Jisung, Jaehyun, Jaemin and Jeno remained. A few members of the medical team rushed out, taking Jeno’s limp body from Jaehyun and Jaemin and carrying him inside, shouting out various treatments. Jaehyun squeezed your shoulder as he went inside, the exhaustion clear on his face. Jaemin stepped up but paused for a minute and turned to face you.

“Thank you, for adding that opportunity at the end. We lost a lot of men out there and I know people will want to address it.”

With that he headed inside, leaving just you and Jisung standing there looking at each other. Jisung opened his mouth to speak but you got there first.

“Go to the court physician Jisung. Please get yourself checked out and your wounds treated first.”

He closed his mouth, nodding at you before moving past you and entering the castle. You turned you gaze on the now empty courtyard, the men having cleared out and the horses having been retrieved. You took a few shaky breaths, waiting a few extra seconds, staring wistfully at the gate, praying that by some miracle Chenle would come riding through. But he didn’t. So you shut your eyes, took a deep breath, and turned back into the castle, the doors closing behind you.

---

The victory procession was bittersweet. The knights were acknowledged for their hard work and struggles, and nobody tried to deny that this had been a heart wrenching battle. The celebrations were half hearted however, the entire kingdom feeling the loss of so many knights and the king that they were all missing. The toasts at the end brought tears to your eyes as the knight took it in turns to remember their fallen friends.

And through it all, anyone could tell that the entire kingdom was terrified that their king wouldn’t come back. The king who every citizen had grown to love and admire. The king who set an example for all future kings, who acted as a king should, the king who you were lucky enough to call your husband, your love.

You removed your final piece of jewellery, staring at yourself in the mirror as you tried to figure out the whirlpool of emotions in your head. The knock at your bedroom door made your head snap towards it as you called out for whoever it was to enter. Jisung’s head poked around the door, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed.

You had known Jisung almost your entire life, and you had never seen him look this broken. He took a couple of steps into your room before looking questioningly at your bed, asking silently for permission. You gestured for him to sit, moving over to join him yourself.

“I think I should tell you what I know.”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak quite yet.

“It was the final day. We knew it was coming to an end, we could all feel it. It’s hard to describe but there’s a difference in the air. On the final night, the king names someone he wants to be in charge of the army in case...” Jisung swallowed as he continued trying to get the words out. “In case he’s killed. Chenle chose me. The next morning, just before we went out, Chenle told me to do whatever I could to get this back to you.”

It was only then that you noticed Jisung had been holding something ever since he stepped foot into your room. He lifted up the object and you recognised it immediately. He placed it gently in your hands, watching as you turned it over in your fingers.

It was Chenle’s necklace.

“I didn’t see him after that.” Jisung’s voice brought you to tear your eyes away from the necklace in your lap and look back up at him. “I lost sight of him in battle. I know it sounds like he didn’t make it but- we scoured every inch of the battlefield after we won, there was no sign of Chenle among the bodies, nor was he taken captive by Fayre either because we searched their base. Aspen was missing too. Chenle is out there, alive and trying to make his way back here to you. And he will, he has to.”

You let your eyes flicker back down to Chenle’s necklace for a second before looking back up at Jisung.

“Thank you.” You whispered. “It’s been a long day, you should get some sleep.”

Jisung nodded, standing quickly and heading back out the same door he entered through. You didn’t from move your position, instead sitting in the same spot for the next few hours, turning the seals over and over in your fingers, wondering if Chenle would ever find his way back.

---

You were sat in the throne room, having just finished a meeting with the keeper of the archives to document the battle. Labelling Chenle as missing was something you had hoped you would never have to do, but there you were, drawing your signature on that very slip of paper. You really understood your mother’s words now when she said that she only felt as though she could rule when she had the person she loved by her side.

Because you didn’t just feel alone without Chenle, you felt completely and utterly lost.

A guard appears, telling you that there is a messenger for you, and you gesture for them to be let in. Yangyang strolls through the door, and you can’t help the small smile that appears on your face at sight of his much larger, contagious one.

“I have good news!” He announced, making you raise your eyebrows. “News of the victory travelled fast around kingdoms both close by and far away, and any thoughts off attacking Ivairis have been wiped off the map. Between the strength of our army and the alliance with Shanghai, the kingdom is almost invincible.”

You let out a breath of disbelief, smiling lightly at the boy in front of you as the news settled. Ivairis was safe. You asked Yangyang to spread the news around the kingdom, allow everyone to revel in the announcement and he gladly agreed before running out of the room so fast he left the door open.

You chuckled slightly at the sight of him, but the smile on your face faded quickly as the thought of Chenle travelled through your head. Another two weeks had passed but he was still missing. Nobody had heard a word from or about him since the final day in battle, and the fear that you were never going to see him again had become your natural state of mind.

You looked out of the window on your left, staring down at the rose buses and stone bench that sat there. You felt all the memories rush through your head of the times you and Chenle had sat on that very bench. You still remembered walking past it in the first few days of Chenle arriving, when you had given him a tour around the grounds. Though he would deny it within an inch of his life, Chenle had a soft spot for flowers and loved nothing more than spending a day surrounded with flowers of all different kinds.

You sighed out once more, closing your eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

“You promised you’d come back to me...” You spoke to the empty room, your voice wavering heavily.

You rested your head on the glass, lost in your own mind when a voice cut through. Your eyes shot open and you whirled around to be greeted with the person you thought you would never see again, the person you loved more than anything else in this world, more than life itself.

“Have I ever broken my promises?”

Chenle.

The world stopped when you saw him. You didn’t blink, didn’t move, didn’t even breathe, terrified that if you did, the image of him would disappear and you would be left with the reality that didn’t have him in it.

He took a step forward, standing in front of you and reaching up to tuck a stay piece of hair behind your ear. You lifted a shaky hand to his face, pressing your palm against his cheek and taking in the fact that he was stood in front of you.

“Chenle...” You whispered, trying to convince yourself that this was real life.

He nodded at your words, tears filling his eyes at the sight of you after so long. When it sunk in it hit you like a ton of bricks. You threw your arms around him and broke down, sobbing into his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Chenle. You made it back.” You cried, holding him tighter that you ever had before.

“Of course I did, I could never leave you like that.” He whispered, his quiet voice a stark contrast to your broken one.

His arms were securely around your waist, capturing you next to his being. You could feel that he was smaller, having lost weight when he was lost and trying to get back. He had dirt in his hair, and various bruises and other minor injuries that you could see, but he was here. He was here, in your arms, alive.

You pulled back, bringing one hand to rest on his cheek as you pressed your foreheads together.

“I love you so much.” You breathed, the tears still steadily falling down your cheeks.

“I love you more.” He replied, relaxing in the knowledge that he was home. He was standing in your arms, surrounded by his kingdom.

Chenle was home.

---

~ 10 years later ~

“So we are in agreement?” You asked the court, looking around the round table and seeing all the other heads of the men and women present nodding at your words. “Well in that case, we can call it a day here. Thank you for your input.”

You stood, smiling at the people in front of you as they all left the room.

“Ten years and council meetings are still as dull as the first one.” You muttered to yourself.

“I hear that.” A voice replied, making your eyes shoot up. You found yourself looking at your husband, who was leaning against the door with a cheeky grin on his face. “But if we want to set a good example, we should probably pretend they are.”

You shook your head, chuckling to yourself at his words. The sound of light footsteps running down the hall caused you and Chenle to send each other a knowing look.

The doors to the great hall opened once more and in ran two little children.

“Daddy, look I won!” You son yelled happily, grabbing Chenle’s hand and pointing towards the doorway where a panting Jisung stood, leaning on the door frame for support.

“Really Jisung? Two children under the age of 6 can outrun you?” Chenle asked, his eyebrows raised judgmentally.

“Look.” Jisung spat, pointing a finger accusingly at the two of you. “If the two of you hadn’t had twins with Chenle’s bluntness and y/n determination, I would be fine. But these two are like the mixture of you two, it’s terrifying.”

“Well, Jisung I hate to break it to you, but that is how children work. They tend to be a mixture of their parents.” You replied dryly, reaching down to hug your daughter as she held on to your leg, catching her breath.

“You know... we made a deal that we would have three.” Chenle reminded you, wiggling his eyebrows at you as you burst out into laughter at Jisung’s disgusted expression.

“Okay, that’s my cue to leave. Just remember, there are young children here.”

Jisung gestured to the twins that were standing close to you, before saying a quick goodbye, which your twins shouted back even louder, as he headed off to the next training session.

“Is everything sorted?” Chenle asked you, trying to stop your son from attempting to sit on the documents on the table.

“Yes, everything was agreed upon today. Starting from tomorrow, we are in an official peace treaty with all the surrounding lands. There are plans to share combat tactics, and resources if any kingdom needs it. We’re about to enter a new era.” You told him, the smile on your face growing at your words.

“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.” He breathed, his voice lowering for the last part as he grabbed your hand.

You intertwined your fingers with his. “I’m proud of us. We did this together.”

Chenle smiled at you, the signature smile of his that always took you back to the shy boy who you toured around the rose garden. You reach out with your other hand, your daughter grabbing it as Chenle took a hold of your son and together you walked out to stand on the battlements. Neither of your children were tall enough to see over the stone walls, so you both picked them up, allowing them to sit and see the view.

“One day, you’ll be the ones to rule this kingdom.” Chenle told them, watching as their eyes lit up in amazement. “And you’ll do it with a very special someone by your side.”

You smiled out at the view, the roofs of houses, the market stalls, the training grounds... you could see your entire kingdom from up here. Your entire home.

“Tell us the story again of how you and Mummy met?” Your daughter asked, looking up at her father with wide eyes.

Chenle began the tale, pointing out to the view as he did. He had got in the habit of telling them this story to put them to sleep, and since then they had asked for it constantly, the way he changed certain words to make it sound like a fairytale had made it their favourite.

He told the story of a magical land that became his home and the evil kings and dragons that he and Uncle Jisung had fought to protect it, all while his fairy queen, which was you, stood bravely behind the walls sheltering and looking after the people.

You listened to his calming voice tell the legendary tale and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you watched your family. You thought about how your life had turned out, all the ups and downs and challenges that you had faced, but you never faced them alone. Chenle was right there with you, ready to tackle any problem that the two of you may encounter. You turned your gaze out to your kingdom, the wealthy and prosperous civilisation that the two of you had grown together, yet it only meant everything it did because of the man you shared it with.

You remembered your conversation with Chenle before he proposed, the two of you talking about the life you could possibly have if you weren’t royals. You discussed all the things you would change, and how it would be different. But, standing here now, looking over your kingdom, with your family by your side, you knew one thing for certain.

You wouldn’t change a thing.

195 notes · View notes

caitdjarin · 3 years

Text

traitor.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

- Based on “Traitor” by Olivia Rodrigo, Yours and Bucky’s break-up was a surprise to you at least. An even bigger surprise was seeing him with a new girlfriend just weeks after.

Warnings

Angst, Jealousy, Cheating, Moving On, Slight Violence, Language, Bucky being toxic, Self-help, Kind of Happy ending?

As it turned out, your relationship with Bucky wasn’t as stable as you thought it was. After being together for three years, you had assumed you were both happy. When he ended it suddenly, all you could feel was shock, frozen, watching him pack his things. Pack up three years of your life together. You could not hear anything, sight going blurrier by the minute as you sat on your shared bed. His explanation as to why he was suddenly ending things was that he just was not happy with you anymore.

Of course, weeks later you found that out to be a lie. He had introduced his new girlfriend to everyone. Hearing her name from Nat and Wanda, you remembered all the arguments you had had about this woman. Seeing her name on his phone constantly, him telling you that they were just friends, you were being paranoid and that he could have female friends. That was when you realised you and Bucky were truly over.

Seeing him months later at your favourite coffee shop was not the reunion you wanted. He said your name as you walked into the store.

“James,” you signed “it’s nice to see you.”

“It is really nice to see you too, I didn’t expect to see you here. How are you doing?”

Did he really not expect to see me here when I introduced him to the little shop in the first place? And how am I doing? What sort of question is that? “Oh, I am doing incredible, I found out my long-term boyfriend betrayed me and made me out to be some bad guy when he was probably fucking this girl while we were still together.”

“I am doing fantastic; I hope you are as well” you smiled. It wasn’t a total lie, you were dating again, doing well at work, almost at the finish line with your doctorate in English Literature. Once you had said that you saw his face drop slightly before picking it up again.

“Yeah, I am too. We should catch up soon, I would really love to see hear what you’ve been up to” he smiles.

“I’m so sorry, James, I’m just really busy with work at the moment” you said, before leaving. Unfortunately, not even getting the chance to order anything. I guess, it was time to change coffee shops.

The next time you saw him was in a restaurant, three months later, while you were with the guy that you had been seeing. Rafael was everything you could dream of. You had met while he in the library at your university, turns out you were both in the doctorate program. You clicked pretty much instantly, this being your third date.

Walking to the bathroom, you were suddenly grabbed by your arm.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” the person says, turning around you see Bucky.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you whisper angerly, trying to wiggle your arm out of his grasp.

“Why the fuck are you here with some dude?”

“Oh, I’m sorry last time I remembered I was single, didn’t know I couldn’t date people.” He finally let go of your arm. “You do not get to control my life, James. I am a grown woman and last time I checked you had a girlfriend.” You start to walk away.

“You can’t just talk to me like that, Y/N” he slams his hand against the wall to stop you from walking away.

“I am allowed to move on, considering it took you two fucking weeks to go off and date someone, you may not have ‘cheated’ you say in air quotes, “but you’re still a traitor, Barnes” you duck under his hand, walking towards Rafael.

“Can we leave? Find somewhere else.” You say to him, grabbing your jacket.

“Yeah, of course, are you okay?” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist, walking out the door.

“Yeah, I just ran into someone, I didn’t want to see” you lean into him.

Bucky didn’t actually think you would move on. He honestly expected you to be waiting for him after he was done exploring. Seeing you dressed up all pretty, like you would for him on your date nights, made him livid. He couldn’t believe you would bring someone else to this restaurant, the restaurant that you had spent all your anniversaries, where your first date was. Of course, he was being a hypocrite because he had brought some random girl here but how could you have done this? If he was being honest, he was more surprised by the way you had spoken to him; you had never spoken to him like that before, even during your many arguments, you were still respectful.

Graduation day had commenced, a day you had been working towards for 8 years now. Inviting your family and your friends, Nat, Wanda, Tony, Steve, Vis, Scott. All except Bucky. He came anyway, staying in the back, making sure you were unable to see him. He knew it was your day and he didn’t deserve to be there. He was so proud of you, during your relationship, you had cried at least once a day with how stressed out you were, and now you would never have to cry about it again. Walking on stage, you looked as beautiful as ever, your face was lit up in the same way it did whenever you had looked at Bucky. You had grabbed your certificate, smiling for the cameras and then quickly walking back to your chair. Rafael was after you, receiving his certificate as well. So that’s how you met him, Bucky thought. After that, Bucky had left.

Rafael was probably the closest to perfect that you could get. He was kind, caring and hard working. Once you had moved in together, things seemed to be really steady, comfortable. Of course, that meant something would go wrong. Coming home early from work was supposed to be a surprise for Raf, is when you catch him cheating. Literally walk in on him getting fucked by his best friend. You’re not exactly angry, if you were being completely honest, you didn’t feel the same love for Rafael as you once did before. Moving your things out of your shared apartment, you move in with Nat and Wanda. You decided that being single for a while won’t be the worst thing in the world.

Wanda and Vis’ engagement party was the following weekend, you were truly happy for them. Dressing in your favourite black dress and throwing on a jacket over the top, you drive to the venue. It was incredibly beautiful, fairy lights all throughout the area. You grabbed a glass of champagne and began to sip it.

“You look beautiful, Y/N” you hear someone stand next to you. Bucky.

“Thank you, James.” You say politely.

“You’re the most beautiful girl here, I’m sorry about what happened. You didn’t deserve that.” He looks at you.

“It’s okay, I’m doing okay”

“Have you been writing? I know you graduated a couple of months ago.” He tries to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah, I have, not any stories unfortunately though.” It’s been years since you’d actually talked to Bucky, you missed this. You had always loved how attentive he was to your interests.

“What have you been writing then?”

“Songs” He looks at you confused. You continued to surprise him always.

“Of course, they’re not for anyone to hear but I have been able to get my feelings out and it’s helped me move on.”

“I’m really happy for you, I know I treated you terribly and didn’t do well with the break-up side of things but I really miss you and hope we can be friends again.” He says, moving in front of you so he could see your face. That’s when he sees your face light up again, like it used to when you were in love, he never thought he’d be on the receiving end of one of those looks again.

“Sure Bucky, I missed you too.”

Authors note

Hi, this was my first story that I actually published. I left the ending open to something happening, in case I wanted to revisit this story and do a part two. I hope you enjoyed :)

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst

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violettelueur · 3 years

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GOJO SATORU + GETO SUGURU || NEVER MEANT TO BE

| featuring : gojo satoru and geto suguru from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : mentions of murder, manga spoilers and grammar errors

| form : imagine

| word count : 1704

| published : 15 November

| request : hellloooo i hope this doesnt sound confusing but tbh im just requesting this since no one requested sum from the manga. how about something like reader arriving at the train station as gojo gets trapped in the prison realm in around chapter 90-91? like shes a shaman and she see geto and has a flashback cuz gojo her and geto were like past buddies? and to think someone could bind gojo?

| barista’s notes : for the people that haven’t read the manga, I would recommend you reading it first before reading this imagine because it has some MAJOR spoilers and I dont think you’ll understand it either way ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ but defo read it if you haven't, it’s amazing! but moving on from that i hope that you love your order of a cup of black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request)!

Rushing down the stairs of Tokyo Metro, you were trying to get to floor B5F where Gojo was last noted before you heard about the information that he was somehow sealed. With the help of the three other groups that were around the area, you were able to get through the shields that surrounded Shibuya to get to where you needed to be.

You were exhausted. Not physically but mentally as you didn’t know what to expect at all. The second you heard of Gojo’s report on curses forming alliances with each other, you thought he was just bluffing at first and to be honest, his ridiculous drawing wasn't helping with his case either. However, he was someone that you knew you could trust extremely, it had always been like that since both of you became students at Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.

With your katana hanging from the side of your hip, you quickly jumped to the bottom on the stairs to save precious time before quickly turning the right corner to see what was the whole situation. However, once your hand was on the handle of your sword, your eyes widened in shock from what was right in front of you.

‘Isn’t he supposed to be dead? That's not him is it?’

What was in your sights now was something that was technically impossible. He was supposed to be dead, there was no way he was alive sitting on the station floor. There were no such possibilities for him to be sitting with his back turned to you right now.

Geto Suguru.

ꕥ

You, Gojo, Geto and Ieiri were standing in front of the now-destroyed house due to Gojo using his technique to free both Utahime and Mei Mei from the house that they have been investigating for the two past days.

“Don’t you think that was a little too much Gojo,” you commented with an awkward giggle as you saw tiny to large pieces falling to the ground, leading to your second-year friend saying, “I don’t think it was too much Y/N-chan, besides how could I have impressed you if I didn't take the opportunity to?”

“I shouldn’t have asked part one...” you quickly muttered, before Gojo started to tease Utahime, who was in the middle of the rubble that was created by your flirtatious friend himself.

“Satoru, it’s not nice to pick on the weak,” Geto suddenly commented, before using one of his spirits to devour the curse that suddenly appeared behind Utahime, only for Gojo to state, “who the heck’s gonna pick on someone strong? You’re the one teasing her without even knowing it Geto,” causing your other friend to now to realise what he had said.

No longer being able to handle both of them, you quickly turned your attention to Utahime and asked, “Utahime, are you okay?”. This small but kind gesture of yours caused the grade-two jujutsu sorcerer, to say your name with such glee before you continued with, “we were worried about you since you didn't call for two days” to which only led the woman to pull you into a tight hug.

‘I shouldn’t have asked part two….I’m legit getting no air’

“Y/N don’t you dare become trash like those two, okay?”

“I’ll try my best”

However, this happy and hilarious moment had to sudden halt when Mei Mei suddenly asked, “where’s the curtain?” causing you, Gojo, Geto and Ieiri to look at her with dumbfounded expressions on your faces.

‘Ahhhhhh shi-’

ꕥ

“There’s someone here who said they put up a curtain and then up and left the auxiliary manager behind and forgot about the curtain too”

At this moment and time, all four of you were on your knees in front of your sensei Masamichi Yaga, as he found out from the news that was shown on the TV above that someone *cough*Gojo*cough* forgot to put up a curtain up like him and Mei Mei stated.

“Fess up”

“Sensei! We’re better than pointing fingers at each other,” Gojo randomly commented, as he raised his hand up to emphasise his point. On the other hand, you, Geto and Ieiri had other plans and all pointed at Gojo for this mishap that had occurred without him realising.

“So it’s you!” your teacher shouted, before landing a strong punch on top of your friend’s head, causing you to know to never mess with your teacher anytime soon.

Even though it wasn’t the best time, you and Geto let out a sly giggle before looking at each other, which only led to both of you laughing, even more, the second you stepped out of the room. As chaotic all four of you were, you wouldn’t change it for the world.

However, it was never meant to be.

ꕥ

“Hey!”

Turning to your right, you saw your friend Geto wave at you with a bright smile on his face. To the outsider, it just seemed like two friends meeting with each other or friends that just casually bumped into each other in the crowded streets. On the other hand, it wasn’t that.

Geto was a criminal on the run. You were just informed by your teacher that your friend massacred a whole village as well as the possibilities of his parents. You didn’t want to believe it. Of course, you couldn’t believe it. Geto wasn’t that type of person, he wasn’t like that at all during your time at Jujutsu high together, were the three years a facade?

“Yo, it’s the criminal” you teasingly greeted him, trying to hide your dejection from his view, “you need something from me?”

“I guess I’m just testing my luck” Geto replied back before taking a stand next to you. From your side perspective, you could see what Gojo was talking about a while back. Your longtime friend looks thinner than he did a year ago, you could clearly see the bags in his eyes indicating that he hadn’t had any sleep the past few days. It was like that ever since the killing of the Star Plasma Vessel, a mission that you, Gojo and Geto failed at.

“I’m gonna ask just to be sure, but are those false charges?” you quietly asked, hoping that all this was a lie, a stupid cruel prank that was set up by someone. However, you knew somewhere in your heart that this was the reality that you were in, there was no escaping from this one.

“Nah, unfortunately not”

“Again to be sure, why?” you quietly questioned him, trying to conceal the tears that were threatening to flow down your face.

“I’ll create a world where only shamans exist,” Geto calmly answered, causing you to snap your head in his direction. A world where only shamans exist? What more stupid of a reason he could give you?

“That’s hilarious,” you stated, before you slowly carried on with, “if humans were eliminated, we shamans wouldn’t even have a purpose at all, your reasoning is the most stupid thing I ever heard in my life Geto,”

Geto turned to look at you, only to find you casually open your phone to call Gojo on your sightings on your friend.

“However, I hope that you’re happy now that you're choosing this path. I really hope you get what I’m saying and you don’t live to regret,” you stated, as you place your device next to your ear. “I hope you're happy in the end my friend, that’s all I’m asking for,” you ended your statement before Gojo was on the other side of the line.

“Thank you Y/N”

“Gojo, I met Geto in Shinjuku”

“Did you question him? Did you kill him?”

“I didn’t…...have the heart to Gojo, I’m sorry”

There was nothing but silence between the both of you which gave you the chance to look to your right, only to see that your friend had disappeared from your side. As if he wasn’t there in the first place.

“Hey Gojo...it was never meant to be ha?” you rhetorically asked, as a single tear slowly slid down your face.

ꕥ

Geto Suguru was right there in front of you. Sitting on the ground on the train station with his back turned to you.

However, as much as you wanted to believe that it was true, you knew that it wasn’t really him.

It was just impossible.

Taking your katana out of its black wooden sheath, you were preparing for any attacks that could happen around you right now before you could begin to question who the person in front of you was.

“Who are you?”

The man turned around, slowly showing the face of a man that was someone that was close to both you and Gojo all those years back causing you to look at the person that was in front of you with sorrowful eyes. You wished it was him. But as you said, it was never meant to be.

“Y/N! I'm not surprised that you were able to get through all those shields, you are powerful like Satoru after all,” the man happily commented with the same smile that you missed so dearly.

“I said who are you?!” you repeated in a firmer tone, telling the person that you weren’t playing around anymore as you raised your katana, making the sharp pointed tip to be in level with his face - even if he was far in distance.

“Come on, is that how you greet an old friend?”

“How the hell did you get the Prison Realm within your possession?” you asked, as you looked down at the small cube that Gojo was supposedly in. How such a small thing was able to seal such a powerful shaman like Gojo? You would never know.

“Y/N, we were in the same team for three years, I would assume you know I’m able to get what I need, I am Geto after all,”

“Shut up!” you shouted, surprising the person from your sudden outburst. “I’m not stupid, so don’t you dare play with me for even a second”

“I know you’re not Geto”

“Me and Gojo knew that from the start”

“It wasn’t meant to be”

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #gojo satoru imagine #gojo satoru imagines #geto suguru imagine #geto suguru imagines

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 3 years

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All your fault [Sirius Black x Reader] - Requested

Title: All your fault Pairing: Sirius Black x Gryffindor!Reader Word count: 1.9k Published: 16 February, 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: Sirius’ boredom causes you to end up in detention. Or so you think, but he has a different perspective on the events and you clearly can’t find the golden middle. Request: [x] I have combined two requests. One from Tumblr and one from Wattpad. I took the liberty to change some things, but overall it’s the same.

“Hey Talented! Could you write a Sirius x Gryffindor!reader where the reader is jock with intense emotions and a chaser in Quidditch team? Also Is exceptionally talented at DADA and that make sirius jealous and turned-on too? please?” - @marauders-hogwarts

“Hey, I was just reading your marauders x reader one shots and I had an idea for one. Could you pls make one where Sirius gets into an argument with you and at the end grabs your hand to turn you around and abruptly smashes his lips against yours and asks you to be his girl. And the next day he comes up to you and tell you that ther is something wrong with your hand untill he picks it up and puts his own hand in yours and says that's better. Please? Thanks so much. I am a huge fan of your work.” - @Tamarakyra [Wattpad]

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Sirius Black had never been one to question things. He was very stubborn much to his professors’ dismay. Doing what he wanted regardless of consequences has become his personal motto. Swaying him seemed impossible, he always knew what he wanted, how he wanted it and when he wanted it.

However, on a rainy dull Saturday afternoon as he was watching you up in the air, flying across the quidditch pitch on your broomstick, your hair flat against your face, your uniform drenched in water, your eyes covered with a pair of goggles, something has changed within him. For a mere moment he felt as if time had stopped as you screamed at James for not being able to catch the snitch and win against Ravenclaw. His eyes focused only on you, even forgetting about the ongoing match.

The way you sat on your broomstick leaning forward to speed up, the way you tucked the quaffle under your arm and secured it, the sheer amount of energy you projected and the bold tone you used against his best friend all hit him right in the chest, forcing him to fall back onto the bench of the bleachers. He didn’t know where his sudden feelings came from, but the unexpected warmness filling him up from the inside made him smile at the simple sight of you. From then on, he knew the friendship you had has become more on his side.

You sat right beside Sirius at Defence Against the Dark Arts, doodling on the parchment in front of you as he kept nudging you, trying to get your attention.

“What now?” you asked for the 10th time in the past 10 minutes. “Perhaps you could focus more on the lesson. You need it more than I do,” you hissed angrily, feeling fed up with his childish behaviour.

“I’m bored,” he whined in a silent whisper.

“I can see that,” you scoffed as you drew another random pattern on your paper. Closing out the lesson, you focused completely on your drawing, finding it more interesting than whatever your professor was talking about. That was until Sirius started nudging you again.

“What now?” you hissed in anger, slightly raising your voice, but you quickly silenced yourself as you looked around, every pair of eyes focusing on you, including your professor’s. “I’m so sorry,” you apologised, hunching your back, trying to hide away from embarrassment.

“Since you have already graced us with your attention, why don’t you answer the question?” he asked in a pompous tone, clearly trying to make you feel even more awkward. However, as the new teacher, he couldn’t have known about your exceptional knowledge and talent on the subject. It took you a good second to recall the memory from the darkest and deepest part of your mind, before you were ready to answer.

“The Tongue-tying curse prevents people from being able to form a coherent sentence, therefore stopping them from being able to incantate further spells. Although Langlock its sibling curse also prevents people from being able to speak, in this spell’s case the tongue sticks to the roof of the mouth, whilst when using Silencio it causes the victim to be temporarily muted,” you explained proudly. The professor didn’t compliment you, nor did he scold you. He offered you a deadpan expression and cleared his throat.

Sirius snickered beside you with a proud grin across his face, knowing the professor didn’t expect your reply. Years ago, he would have told you off for being a know it all, but now he found it comical. He didn’t know if it was because his feelings had changed or because it was you who did it, but in the end it didn’t matter. You could have done anything and he would have supported you like a loyal puppy. At times he couldn’t even believe how easily affected he was by you.

“Khm- smartass,” you heard a cough from the side as Evan Rosier was trying to cover his words in an obvious manner. You were not one to let others walk over you nor did you plan to be one in that moment. You felt anger bubbling up inside you, the boy’s mere presence irritating you.

“Let me show the spell in practice, professor,” you grinned proudly as he turned around with a shocked expression across his face, ready to stop you in mid-spell. However, he was slower than he wished to be and before he could have said anything, the word left your lips. “Silencio,” you lifted your hand and pointed your wand at the boy, watching as he grabbed his throat, desperately trying to speak, gaping like a fish, but no words leaving his mouth.

Sirius watched as the scenario unfolded in front of him. His initial surprise quickly disappeared as he saw a smirk appear across your face, pure pride taking over your stance. He always admired your can-do attitude and bold personality, possibly one of the reasons you have been such good friends. He wasn’t lacking any of those personality traits, but when he saw you standing up for yourself, being strong and independent, it just drove him crazy. It made him feel like there was an invisible string between the two of you, pulling him closer and closer to you.

Since he realised his own feelings for you, he was watching every little move of yours, trying to protect you from everything and anything that could possibly hurt you. But before he could ever intervene and show you how much he cared for you, you took care of it, proving once again how independent you were. He didn’t mind though, he loved the strength you harboured, he just wished to be able to show you that you could rely on him.

You watched as the professor rushed up to Rosier, pulling his wand out of the inner pocket of his robe and quickly using the counter spell on him, before rushing up to your table, his index finger pointing right between your eyes. “Detention! How dare you? Detention after classes!” he shouted at you, veins popping on the side of his neck and temple, his face turning red in anger. If he had time, he would have probably embarrassed you in front of the whole class, but as the bell rang, indicating the end of your class, he had no choice, but to let you go.

Quickly collecting your belongings, you hurried out of the classroom with Sirius right behind you, calling your name relentlessly as you were about to cross the Courtyard.

“What do you want?” you asked angrily as you halted. You didn’t want to sound rude, being around Sirius was the highlight of your day, but at that moment he was a pain in your backside.

“Woah, calm down,” he gestured with his hands, but if anything, it made you angrier.

“Calm down? Calm down? It was all your fault to begin with. If you didn’t nag me about being bored, I would have kept drawing and kept my mouth shut. But you just couldn’t find anything better to do so you decided to get on my nerves and now of course it’s me who has to go to detention,” you rambled, annoyed, trying to take deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Okay, I accept that I was nagging you, but I didn’t curse my classmate,” he scoffed with a hidden smile in the corner of his lips.

“It’s not funny! If you didn’t nag me, the professor wouldn’t have questioned me, which means Rosier would have never insulted me, hence the reason you are at fault,” you groaned as you turned around and started walking away.

“Hey, stop already,” he whined, but you didn’t halt your steps, if anything, you sped up. “I’m sorry,” he tried to break the ice, but it seemed to just fire you up even more. You turned on your heel, stopping right in front of the boy.

“Sorry? That’s it? You just have to say sorry and I’m supposed to forget about it?” you scoffed in disbelief. “You must be joking,” you looked up at him in clear astonishment, but after seemingly waiting for an eternity Sirius still didn’t reply.

He wanted to, he was about to defend himself, but as he watched you getting worked up about such a minor issue, at least minor for him, he could only think about how adorable you looked when you were upset. Not that he ever wanted to see you angry or sad, but for some reason it just caught his eyes that instead of being threatening, you seemed as if you were slightly pouting.

You groaned, annoyed as the silence grew between the two of you and a small smile started appearing on Sirius’ face. “I hate you!” you shouted at him as you left him behind, stomping across the Courtyard, heavy and loud steps following you.

“Do you?” he shouted after you, silently chuckling, finding your behaviour quite funny and somewhat cute.

“I do!” you replied sulking, your steps becoming quicker.

Sirius couldn’t just let you walk away, he jogged after you and grabbed your wrist, halting your steps, pulling you back against his chest. For a second even the air stuck in your lungs as you realised how close you were to him, his breath fanning your face, his pink lips almost touching yours. You were completely engulfed by his aura, his warm hold on your wrist sending shivers through your body as his other arm sneaked around your waist.

You could swear he felt your dangerously racing heart against his chest, your lips quivering in anticipation, wanting nothing but to feel his mouth on yours. As if he could read your mind, he leaned closer and closed the gap between the two of you, kissing you slowly, sensually. You expected him to be slightly aggressive, maybe dominating, but his kiss was more passionate, gentle instead, causing you a delightful surprise.

“Why?” you breathed against his lips as you parted, your eyes still closed, completely lost in the moment.

“Because I wanted to do it for a long time,” he whispered.

“Why would you?” you chuckled awkwardly. He was always your closest friend and now that you kissed, knowing the friendship you have had was gone, you didn’t know what to do.

“Do I really need to say it?” he scratched the back of his neck, pulling a face, feeling embarrassed about the words you waited for so impatiently.

“If you don’t say it out loud, how do you expect me to understand?” you questioned, and Sirius knew how right you were.

“I- khm,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “I- I have liked you for a while,” his words were silent and unsure, making you question it.

“Are you sure?” you asked, making him feel even more awkward.

“Of course, I’m,” he groaned, slightly sulking. “It’s just not easy to say.”

“Is it easier if I say I like you too?” you giggled happily, watching as his embarrassed expression slowly changed into a proud grin.

“I knew it, I felt it,” he chuckled happily, earning a deadpan look from you as you slapped his chest gently, before your lips curved into a small smile.

“Right, you did,” you scoffed as you peeled his hands off you and started walking to your next class with a hidden smile in the corner of your lips.

“Wait, wait,” he called after you as he tried to catch up to you.

“What now?” you asked, rolling your eyes as Sirius joined beside you.

“There’s something wrong with your hand,” he stated with a deep frown. You looked down at your hand, lifting it up, looking at it curiously, turning it up and down, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“What do you mean? It seems alright to me,” you replied in confusion, but you couldn’t take a closer look at it as Sirius took it in his hand, interlocking your fingers.

“Now, it’s better,” he grinned playfully, making you giggle.

“Sirius Orion Black, you have a horrible sense of humour,” you scoffed, but you couldn’t fool him. He knew his little joke made you happy and even if it didn’t, the warm feeling of each other's touch, your small hands engulfed by his big palm made up for his silly joke.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and/or reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Harry Potter general taglist:

@awritingtree @chloer1275 @emmaev @haphazardhufflepuff @inkhearthes @pregnant-piggy @anchy-bananchy @sreidswhore @levylovegood @fific7 @harrypotter289 @moatsnow @pandaxnienke @nebulablakemurphy @sarcasticallywitty15 @iliveiloveiwrite @acuunaa @nuttytani @audreythehufflepuff @the-unmanaged-mischief @mesmerisedangel @crowleysqueenofhell @justmesadgirl @montsepliego @iamninaanna @hahee154hq @emilianamason @theincredibledeadlyviper @bruxa0007 @pxroxide-prinxcesss @naviation-xx

Harry Potter - Sirius Black taglist:

@msmb @aspiringsloth20

#sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader fanfiction #sirius black x reader one shot #sirius black x reader imagine #sirius x reader imagine #sirius x reader one shot #sirius x reader fanfiction #sirius black #sirius black one shot #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter

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guardianofrivendell · 3 years

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Of bookcases and headaches

Merry x gn!reader

Requested: Yes, by a lovely anon for my 1k sleepover! “Congratulations! May I ask for 💙 with Merry, General Prompt 8 and/or 6?”

Prompts: 6 - Are you taking care of yourself? 8 - Is that my book?

Warnings: no warnings, how about that?

A/N: This got longer than I intended to... So this gets its own post and will be linked with the oneshots instead of sleepover drabbles. It was the first time writing for Merry (besides the preference posts) so thank you anon for this request! Also yes, this might have been inspired by the events of the past week :)

I’ve been out of my writing mood for weeks - ever since I’ve published Dwarves Always Knock Thrice and I hope I’m getting back into it with this fluffy comfort fic 🙈

Merry was on his way to meet up with Pippin in the Green Dragon, their weekly visit for a pint or two to celebrate the end of the week. Or the beginning of a new one. Any reason was a good one really.

The all too familiar path took him past your house and he caught himself slowing down his pace every time, in the hopes of catching you outside so he could invite you to join him.

Which was ridiculous really, since you were both friends who regularly talked to each other. It wouldn’t be considered weird for him to knock on your door and simply ask you to join him for a pint.

But somehow Merry found it extremely difficult to do so.

Most of the time he just lingered for a few seconds before he chickened out and quickly continued his way to his favorite pub, telling himself that next time he’ll be brave enough to do it.

Today however it went a little different.

When he stopped at the white fence surrounding your yard, he noticed something different about your house. Something that didn’t feel quite right. It took him a while before he realized what was wrong.

The curtains were drawn.

And it wasn’t even time for afternoon tea yet!

Without a second thought, Merry opened the gate and made his way over to your yellow front door. Gone were his nerves and his doubts, replaced with worry for you.

He knocked a few times but you didn’t answer.

It wasn’t until he started knocking on your window, calling out your name that he heard the front door unlock.

“Y/N?” he asked.

You had opened the door just a smidge, enough for you to be able to see who was so rude to disturb your peace and quiet.

“Merry?” you croaked.

Merry’s face went blank when he heard your raspy voice.

“Y/N? Are you alright? What’s wrong?!”

You winced at the volume of his voice, and one of your hands flew to the side of your head. “Shhhh,” you shushed him, stepping back into the darkness of your entrance hall and leaving the door open.

Merry hesitated for a second, not sure if he should follow. But if you didn’t want him to come inside, you would’ve closed the door or told him to go bugger off. Right?

Every curtain in the house was drawn, there weren’t any candles lit and Merry’s eyes needed some time to adjust to the lack of light before he could go any further.

As he entered your living room, his eyes widened at the state it was in. Books and scrolls scattered everywhere, like they were carelessly tossed aside without a second thought where they would end up. This was very unlike you.

He watched you curl up in your armchair with a heavy sigh, tucking your feet under you and burying yourself under your blanket. It was obvious he had woken you up, which explained the raspiness of your voice.

“This place is a mess, Y/N… ” “Yeah, thanks to you,” you accused him. “What did I do?” Merry looked at you confused. “You don’t have to yell, I can hear you just fine.” “Y/N, I’m not yelling,” he said, taking a few steps in your direction. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

You ignored his question.

“My living room looks like a troll horde because I was looking for that.”

You pointed towards the small wooden side table where, in between empty teacups and dirty plates, lay a thick book with a dark blue binder.

Merry recognized the silver lettering on the spine.

“Is that my book? The one that you borrowed from me… A year ago or so?””

You hummed in response, burying your head in your hands. “I know, I’m a horrible person!”

He chuckled. “Y/N, you’re hardly horrible. The complete opposite would be more accurate in fact.”

You raised your head a little too fast at his words and you winced.

“I’ll go and make you some tea,” Merry smiled at you and made his way to your kitchen, taking the dirty cups and plates with him.

He brought you a fresh cup of tea, almost tripping over the many books and paper scrolls on the floor in the process. You took a sip and winced when you burned your tongue.

“Careful, it’s hot. I thought that was a given,” Merry said, rolling his eyes in a playful geste.

He took the cup out of your hands and placed it on the side table before he crouched down in front of you.

“Now will you finally tell me what’s wrong? I cannot help if you won’t tell me.”

Merry’s eyes met yours and you noticed the concern in them. He didn’t even try to hide it.

“I hurt my head and now I can not bear any light or noise… And my stomach is upset for some reason. It’ll pass.”

Merry’s eyes widened. He did not know a lot about healing or injuries but he knew what it was like to have a concussion. It was that kind of knowledge you gathered over the years when you were friends with a Took.

“It sounds a lot like a concussion, Y/N. How did you hurt your head?”

“Long story short, I thought I lost your book. I did not want to tell you because you were going to be mad at me and I hate it when you’re mad at me-” “When have I ever been mad at you?” he interrupted. “Hush, I’m trying to explain something here. But then when I was lying upside down in my chair, I saw your book underneath my bookcase. That’s why I couldn’t find it!” “Should I ask why you were lying upside down?”

You raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. He would almost think your headache was gone, if not for the slight squinting of your eyes and your pale complexion.

“Do you really want to go there, Merry?” “Hey, if I’m missing out I want to know!” “It’s a great way to see things from a different perspective,” you explained with a smile, but it did not reach your eyes.

He rested his chin on his hand. “Hmm, i guess you could be right. Now, continue, what happened with the book?”

“When I tried to get the book - your book - from under the bookcase, I couldn’t. It was stuck. So I gave it a good yank, but then the whole thing started toppling over!” “So rude!” he gasped dramatically. “Right?” you laughed, and this time it did reach your eyes. Merry was happy to see you were slowly getting in better spirits and pride filled his chest knowing he was the reason behind it. “I was able to stop the case from falling over, but most of the books fell off the shelves. A few of them hit my head pretty hard.”

Merry nodded in understanding. “Hence the headache. And your troll horde.”

You huddled a little deeper under your blanket and closed your eyes.

“I didn’t feel like cleaning it up yet.” “When did this happen?”

You opened your eyes again but kept them trained on the ground.

“Two days ago…” “Two days- Y/N, have you been taking care of yourself these two days? You should’ve called someone!”

You scoffed.

“I know how to take care of myself, Merry. Besides, I was more asleep than anything else. I didn’t need help.” “You don’t have to do everything by yourself, Y/N. There are people who care for you, you only have to let them in.”

The silence that followed was deafening and Merry wondered if he had said too much.

He jolted back to his feet and clapped his hands before he could help it. You flinched and groaned softly, cursing him.

“I’m sorry!” Merry apologized quickly. “I forgot! I was about to tell you what I planned and I got excited. I’ll try and be good from now on.”

“We both know that’s impossible,” you chuckled. Merry was relieved you weren’t angry with him.

“I’m going to the Green Dragon first, Pippin is probably wondering why I didn’t show up and I don’t want to make him worried. After that I’m coming back, okay? Then I’ll clean up your books so you don’t break your neck. In the meantime, you try and get some more sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He turned around and stepped into the hallway, but paused when you called his name.

“Merry?” “Yeah?” “You’re the best friend someone could wish for,” you smiled, fighting to keep your eyes open.

“So I’ve been told...”

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#Merry x reader #Merry x gn!reader #Merry x you #Merry Brandybuck #Meriadoc Brandybuck #Lord of the rings #Lotr fanfiction #Lotr imagine #Lord of the rings x reader #Guardianofrivendell 1k sleepover #Lord of the rings imagine #lotr #requested

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the-modernmary · 3 years

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my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (prologue)

Summary: When Aaron Hotchner ended your affair with him, saying that a serial killer was going after him and his family, you were content with the idea that you'd probably never see him again. Two years have come and gone since then, but when you get dragged into an FBI investigation as a key witness, you and Hotch are forced to come face to face with all the things left unsaid.

Warnings: Age gap (15-ish years), smut, degradation, unprotected sex. This story is 18+ older. This is not a story for minors.

A/N: Hello, hello!! I figured that since I've made a writing tumblr, I should post my story on here!! This is a multichapter story, so I am very excited to go on this journey with y'all!! I already have multiple chapters written and published, so these should be coming out VERY quickly. If you don't want to wait to catch up, you can read everything I have on ao3! This chapter starts as a flashback, and then the next chapter and the rest from here on out will be actual plot!

masterlist || read on ao3

“If you were waitin’ on the sunshine, blue sky

Cheap high, lullaby

Then my best habit’s letting you down”

- The Maine, “My Best Habit”

Two years earlier

Your eyes scanned the University Ballroom, your champagne glass practically ignored in your hand. You hated all these alumni networking galas and avoided going to them as much as possible. Old, sleazy lawyers with much younger women on their arm reliving their best cases with each other and expecting all the new law students to laugh when they were able to get their defendant acquitted because of some dumb technicality. It made you sick.

It didn’t help that you were already going in with a bad attitude. Your ex-boyfriend had dropped by your apartment that morning to pick up the rest of his stuff, and he decided that the best person to help him with that was the girl he had been cheating on you with. You caught them together three weeks ago, and you had been so stressed from midterms that you hadn’t even had the chance to go out, get drunk, and have wildly irresponsible rebound sex.

But you had to suck it up for the night, at least until you were able to get the answer you came for. After that, you could go back to your apartment, replace your too tight and too short dress with some nice pajamas, and watch trashy reality TV until you passed out on your couch.

You scanned the room a few more times until you caught sight of a tall man in a dark suit leaning against the bar. Bingo. You set your champagne flute down and ran over to him as fast as your heels could take you. Once you were just a few steps away, you quickly composed yourself and walked straight into his line of sight.

SSA Aaron Hotchner rarely came to alumni events here at George Washington Law School, citing that he wasn’t even a prosecutor anymore and had much more important work to do back at the BAU, but he was going as favor to his old law school buddy. Plus, it was either coming to this or going out to the bar with the team, and seeing as he had just signed the divorce papers with Haley, he wanted to be somewhere he wasn’t going to be profiled all night. The free champagne was also a bonus.

When you saw that his name was on the RSVP list, you knew that you had to go.

“Agent Hotchner?” you asked, giving him your best straight A student smile.

He refused to look up right away, not giving you the chance to charm him. “I’m not currently on duty. If there is a case you would like the BAU to look over, that’s handled by our media liaison,” he said absently, taking another sip of champagne.

You frowned but kept your hand out for him to shake. “That’s not what I’m here for, I-” You took a breath to compose yourself. “My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m a first year here- getting a joint JD and masters in forensic psychology. My goal is to become a prosecutor,” you pressed, and you were rewarded when he perked up in interest. He slid his drink on the table.

“Most law firms don’t usually want a prosecutor who’s going to empathize with the person you’re prosecuting,” he mused, and shook your hand, his grip just tight enough to pass as faux politeness.

You shook your head and clasped your hands behind your back, trying to ignore how warm his hands were. “I think the best prosecutors empathize with the defendants,” you admitted. “Isn’t that how you succeeded as both a prosecutor and as a federal agent? That’s actually why I came to you, I wanted to ask you a question... about my thesis,” you added quickly, figuring that the best way to get him to talk to you.

Aaron’s posture changed from half asleep to maybe listening, and your face went red. Sure, you only came to the event to talk to him, but you never thought that you’d actually get Aaron Hotchner to pay attention to you. “I didn’t empathize with the people I was putting in jail,” he told you, his voice ice cold. “That didn’t come until I worked in the BAU, and even now, I wouldn’t call it empathy. Just understanding of how they became the type of person they are.” He leaned sideways on the bar counter and you felt yourself shrink under his gaze. You shifted slightly and felt the hem of your dress move up your thighs ever so slightly. Aaron noticed too, if the lick of his lips was anything to go by.

You took his silence as your signal to ask your question. “You offered Jessica Michaelson a lesser sentence that had her released in just three years despite the fact that she murdered her brother in cold blood in his sleep. You had the evidence, why didn’t you push for premeditation?” you asked, and his eyebrow quirked upwards. “In the case The People vs. Michaelson,” you added unnecessarily, trying to break the silence.

“I know the case you’re referring to. I was the lead on it,” he reminded you, his voice edging on dangerous. “You know, most people aren’t interested in my days as a lawyer.”

You shrugged, hoping to appear more confident than you felt. “I’m not most people,” you agreed, biting down on your lower lip. His gaze was so intense, and it was affecting you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. It was turning you on, you realized with a start. It had been a while since you had last had sex, and it was driving you only slightly crazy. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Aaron grabbed a champagne flute from a server walking by, and shoved it in your direction. You grabbed it cautiously. “Did you read the police report on the case?” he asked, and you nodded wordlessly, taking a sip of the champagne. The alcohol was making you bolder, and you stepped towards him. “Then you’ll know that there was very little physical evidence tying her to the muder. We chose to offer the charge that would have stuck instead of risking her being found not guilty.”

You gritted your teeth together in an effort to calm yourself down. “She murdered four people within the six months after she was released from prison,” you reminded him.

That seemed to have struck a chord with Aaron, and his steely persona seemed to fade ever so slightly. He sighed exasperatedly; you were obviously getting on his nerves. “The prints and DNA that were collected and put into VICAP when she was in prison are what got her caught in the end, and that was the evidence needed to lock her away for life. We wouldn’t have gotten those prints without her original charge. It all worked out.”

You groaned and threw your hands in the air. “You couldn’t have predicted that, though,” you argued. “And people have been found guilty with way less evidence than you had in the original case. I think you just felt bad for her, considering her brother was a real piece of shit.” You were being difficult now, you knew that. But there was something about Aaron Hotcher that was pulling you in, and you wanted to see how far you could push him.

Aaron gave you a predatory grin and he stepped towards you ever so slightly, finishing his drink. He must have had multiple drinks too, judging by the soft flush on his face. “Oh, you do?” He seemed amused now. He slowly raked his eyes from your face, down your neck, and down the rest of your body, and you forgot how to breath. You knew that it was inappropriate and that he was a highly respected FBI agent, even if he was kind of an asshole at the moment. You also knew that the two of you were crossing lines that neither of you should have even been close to, but you shivered under the weight of his gaze all the same.

You shifted back and forth, your brain trying to process what was happening. “Yeah, I do. And I know that you transferred to the FBI after Michaelson was arrested again, which makes me think that this case was your breaking point,” you ranted, your hands becoming more and more animated.

Aaron chuckled, but there was very little amusement behind it. “Are you sure you want to be a lawyer?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “Because you’re starting to talk like a profiler.”

You arched an eyebrow at him. “No thanks,” you said firmly, and he just shrugged before making a move to walk past you. You sidestepped in front of him, effectively blocking him from going anywhere. But it was obvious that he was done talking about this.

In your mind, you had two options now. You could keep pushing him about a case that he obviously didn’t want to talk to you about, or you could switch gears in your brain and have him help you solve your... other problem. Aaron was attractive, and you were getting tired of guys your age. You noticed the distinct lack of a wedding ring on his finger, but there was still a tan to show that it had been there. So either he was recently separated or just trying to cheat on his wife. You wanted to not care whichever it was, but a pang in your heart told you to be considerate. Besides, you did not want to get involved with another cheater.

“Must be hard to be at these events without your wife here to scare off all the lonely female law students,” you mused cautiously. You didn’t want to come on too strong, but the alcohol in your system was slowly clouding your ability to be subtle.

Aaron cleared his throat, obviously taken aback by the sudden shift in conversation. “I’m not married,” he said, too quickly and too defensively. So he’s separated, you thought, and you stepped closer to him.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out your endgame. “Well, I would love to discuss your work as a prosecutor more when there are less… distractions around,” you whispered, your words breathy. “Tell me Agent Hotchner, do I make you nervous?” You sounded a lot more confident than you felt.

Aaron just smirked and grabbed your free hand, covering it in both of his, and the action was surprisingly soft, even if it was way too late for him to try acting suave. His eyes, on the other hand, told a whole other story. His pupils were so dilated that his eyes were practically black. “I face the worst people in society on a daily basis. Desperate law students don’t make me nervous. In fact…” He stepped towards you, looking around to make sure nobody else was looking. Aaron leaned in close, his lips brushing against your ear with every word. “I think that I make you nervous. And more than nervous, I make you very excited.”

Your breath hitched as he pulled back, a smug smile gracing his lips. You yanked your hand back to preserve what little dignity you had left, but it was too late. “Now, if you would like to discuss my prosecuting career more in depth, then you can set up a formal meeting with me at the BAU,” he continued, obviously proud of himself and the effect he was having on you. He pulled out a business card and upon further instruction, you realized that it wasn’t even his. Jennifer Jareu the name read. “Our media liaison will be able to help you organize that. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to retire for the night.”

Aaron finished the rest of his drink and brushed past you while you were still trying to get your thoughts under control. “Oh, and you’ll make a wonderful lawyer someday, I’m sure of it,” he called over his shoulder, and that snapped you back into action.

You followed, running around him and cutting him off. “And if I don’t want to discuss your prosecuting career?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him. “What if I was interested in a… less formal meeting?”

That was all the permission he needed. Aaron grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the ballroom, the two of you moving so fast that nobody in the room even had a chance to put two and two together. There was an empty hallway just next to the entrance of the room and Aaron pulled you in that direction, pressing you against the wall and kissing you fiercely the second the two of you were alone.

There was nothing gentle about the kiss, but in a strange role reversal, he let you take the lead. It’s certainly not what you expected from Aaron Hotchner who, until now, had been controlling every aspect of your meeting. You realized then that this was his way of making sure you were okay with what was happening- giving you a chance to back out and change your mind. You just answered by tangling your hands in his hair, pulling so that he was at just the right angle to kiss you.

Aaron dug his fingers into your hips, hard enough to make you gasp out. You were definitely going to have bruises the next day, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. He shoved his leg in between yours and tugged on your lip with his teeth, which made you whimper involuntarily. He smirked against your lips, obviously proud of the noises he was drawing from you. You pulled on his hair harder as a sign of irritation, but that seemed to only make him more amused as he pulled away to laugh into your neck.

“Are we just going to make out against a wall like we’re back in high school, or are you going to actually do something worth my time?” you breathe, fighting to keep your voice even and light. It only halfway worked as he dragged his tongue up your neck to your pulse point. And then he bit down, hard.

It took everything in your power to stay quiet, especially as he softly kissed the newly forming bruise. His attack on your neck was relentless as he pulled your hips and back forth against his thigh. You whimpered as you desperately tried to get any friction from the simple movement. Your skirt was now dangerously close to being pushed so far up your legs that you would be completely exposed.

You pulled away first- you had to or your legs were going to completely give out from under you. You desperately tried to get your breathing under control and, to your annoyance, he looked perfectly composed. The only thing giving him away was his slightly swollen lips.

His fingers trailed up your thigh, getting so close to where you want him. “What would you like me to do then?” he asked easily, his voice almost sounding bored. You were speechless, like your brain had just short circuited. There were a lot of things you wanted him to do, but the words were lost on the tip of your tongue. “If you want something, you have to ask for it.” That was a demand, and he punctuated it by pressing his thigh further into you. You were sure he was going to have a wet spot on his slacks. He took the hand not in between your legs and grabbed your jaw forcefully, his thumb resting on your bottom lip. “Use your words, little girl.”

You realize that the two of you were standing on the edge of a cliff, and you had the power to decide whether or not to jump over. It gave you a strange sense of power. Logically, you knew it was a bad idea. He was too old for you, obviously going through some sort of relationship trauma, and wasn’t somebody you could talk to your friends and family about. But the less rational side wanted him so badly it hurt. You wanted him more than you’ve wanted anything or anyone in a long time.

You noticed your strawberry colored lipstick was smudged ever so slightly on the corner of his mouth, and that’s all it took for you to jump off the side of the cliff. “I want you to drag me into the empty classroom just down the hall and fuck me senseless. I want you to use me,” you moan before taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking.

The look on his face is something you’ll never forget. There was a mix of shock and arousal, but also something primitive; His eyes darkened when you told him to use you, and there was a fluttering in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if it was from excitement or dread. Maybe even both.

He removed his hands from your mouth and legs, only to place his hand on the small of your back. He began walking towards the classroom you had pointed out, much too slow for your liking, but he knew exactly what he was doing. “You’re going to regret asking me to use you,” he practically growls in your ear, each word increasing your arousal. “Are you one of those lonely female law students you warned me about? So desperate and needy for a real man to bend you over a table and fuck you until you can’t walk straight? Ready and willing to whore yourself out for the first man who gives you a second glance?”

Your breath hitched as you stuttered out your answer. “Y-yes, Agent Hotchner,” you whispered as he opened the classroom door and guided you in.

As soon as the door was shut and locked, he was back on your lips again, lifting you so that you were sitting on one of the desks with your legs wrapped around his waist. “Call me Aaron,” he mumbled in between kisses, and you were all too happy to oblige.

You were a moaning mess at this point as his hands pushed your dress up to your waist. His hands and lips were somehow everywhere at once and you were so hot and all you could think about was getting your damn dress off, but Aaron seemed to have other plans.

He ran his fingers up your lace covered slit and he just chuckled into your lips. “You’re so wet for me, already,” he groaned and you let out an embarrassingly loud moan. “And I’ve barely touched you. Do my words really have that much effect on you? Do you like it when I call you a whore?”

He hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties and quickly pulled them down. You could feel his bulge pressing against you and all you could think about was how badly you wanted it. How badly you wanted him. Your hands moved down his chest to make quick work of his belt, and his pants followed after.

“Please, please Aaron,” you begged, desperately trying to create some friction against him. His fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled your head back so that you were looking at him.

“You’re so pretty when you beg.” His fingers slowly ran up your slit, not enough to give you any pleasure. He was teasing you and enjoying every second of it. “And I wish I could take my time with you. The things I want to do to you…” Two of his fingers entered you and you cried out loudly. “But somebody could walk in on us at any second. I’m sure they can all hear you moaning like a dirty whore, all for me. But you’d like that, wouldn’t you? So desperate for my attention and approval.”

His words turned you on more than you would have liked to admit. “Yes, Aaron yes. Please-” you were cut off by Aaron curling his fingers, hitting that spot that made you want to scream out in pleasure. But all too soon, they were gone.

He inspected his fingers, which were now covered in your juices, before bringing them to your mouth. “Suck,” he ordered, and you eagerly complied, wrapping your lips around his fingers and moaning at the taste of yourself. “I’ll just have to fuck you quickly here, and then you’ll be begging for more next time,” he groaned and finally- finally- entered you.

He didn’t give you time to adjust to him, thrusting roughly into you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and brought his hand to your neck. He didn’t put any pressure, but he wanted you to know that he could and would if you decided to get mouthy with him.

Your hands gripped the edge of the desk you were sitting on, your knuckles turning white. Your eyes started to close in pleasure as his hips slammed into yours, but they shot open as he tightened his grip on your throat. “Look at me. I want to see you when you cum,” he ordered, and you nodded the best you could.

“Yes sir!” you cried out, unsure of what else to say.

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, Aaron released your throat and moved his hand down so that he was stimulating your clit. You could feel the coil in your stomach tighten as your legs started to twitch. Aaron took this as motivation to slam into you even harder, relishing each time you gasped out his name.

His pace was unforgiving, leaving you gasping for air. Keeping your eyes open was a challenge, but you were able to do it with his soft mutters of praise. “Even brats like you can be good girls,” he groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic. “You just need somebody to fuck it into you.”

You were unable to respond coherently, so you just settled on begging even more, although you weren’t sure what you were begging for exactly. Aaron seemed to know, and he sped up his fingers against your clit. You wanted to scream out for him, but your voice wasn’t working. “What did I say before?” he asks roughly. “If you want something, ask for it.”

“Please… please can I cum?” you cried out, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. “Please let me cum around your cock!”

He nodded in approval and you had to muffle yourself in his neck to keep quiet. He fucked you through your orgasm, the overstimulation almost too much, but it wasn’t long before he was moaning your name, and you felt him fill you.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, both breathing heavily as the situation started to sink in. You just let a guy almost 15 years older than you that you just met fuck you in an empty classroom, and you really enjoyed it. Aaron, on the other hand, looked like he was going through a full crisis.

He pulled out of you slowly, and you winced at the feeling. He pulled up his pants quickly. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, looking around the empty classroom. “I don’t have anything good to clean you up with.” A box of kleenex caught his eye and he grabbed a few tissues. It was better than nothing.

You chuckled nervously and waved it off. “It’s fine,” you promised, your voice coming out shakier than you expected, but he ignored you. He wiped the mess dripping down your thighs. You were cold. He must have noticed, because he took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked softly, and it was a full 180 from the way he had just been talking to you.

“I’m great,” you admitted honestly. “Seriously, that was… great.”

Aaron smiled at you- the first real smile he had given you all night. “It wasn’t too much?” he confirmed, and you suddenly remembered what he had said to you earlier. ...then you’ll be begging for more next time. Was he planning on a next time? You wouldn’t have minded it.

You shook your head and slowly slid off the table. You took one of the tissues and wiped up the mess that was left on the table. “Not at all. In fact, I could take more. Next time.” Your voice was light and airy. Aaron watched as you picked your underwear off the floor. There was no way you were putting those back on, not when you had no idea when the floor was last cleaned.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he teased, eyeing you carefully.

“Well I can’t keep it if I only have your media liaison’s number,” you reminded him, your eyebrow raised. Aaron chuckled and pulled out another business card, except this time it was his. You plucked the card out of his hands and inspected it carefully. “I’ll call you sometime. You can do all those other things we didn’t have time to do.” You were on your tiptoes now, whispering in his ear. “You know… my mouth can do a lot more than just ask for things.” As you spoke, you slipped your panties into his back pocket. You just laughed as you heard a soft gasp escape his lips.

You made your way towards the door, your legs wobbling dangerously underneath you. You were sure that you looked like a mess, but you didn’t care. All that mattered to you was Aaron Hotchner’s eyes glued to your ass. “Get home safe,” he told you and you let yourself smile. Maybe it was a bad idea to start sleeping with a recent divorcee, but the sex was great and you both knew where you stood with the other person. No feelings, just fucking out your frustrations and stress.

Oh yeah, coming to this event was definitely a good call on your part.

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