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roosterforme · 11 months

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The Younger Kind Part 16 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley finally comes clean about what's really going on and begs you to forgive him. You both know what's at stake now and agree that some things need to change. But it's so hard staying away from each other, especially after a week apart. He shows you how sorry he is over and over again.

Warnings: Angst, smut, fluff, swearing, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4900 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

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Your ears were ringing. Bradley's words did not make sense. "What?" you gasped.

"Meredith wants custody of Noah."

You suddenly felt dizzy. Maybe you had misheard. But you could tell by the look on Bradley's face that he was stressed and upset. "No," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. "No."

"Yeah." His big palms were warming you through your dress as he pressed his face against your neck. "And I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize to me," you told him as tears filled your eyes. You couldn't imagine a world in which Noah grew up in a different house with a different parent. The idea of if was unsettling.

"But I lied to you. On purpose. I wanted you far away from Noah and I, but I couldn't stand it. And I need you to be safe."

"Safe? From what?" you asked, easing away from him a bit so you could look him in the eye. He shook his head, still reluctant to tell you everything. "You keep saying that. You can talk to me, Bradley. About anything," you said, stroking your thumb along his mustache.

He kissed your nose. "Baby, when you got hurt in the park? That was intentional. Meredith was trying to throw me off. She came here and told me she intends to get custody of Noah. She... insinuated that she followed you to there on purpose, and she promised me she wouldn't hesitate to go through you again if she had to. To get to Noah and I."

Your skin broke out in goosebumps as you shivered and gaped at him. "What?"

He nodded, rubbing his hands along your back. "I can't let anything bad happen to you. That's why I had you come here that night, and I lied my ass off to get you mad enough to want to stay away."

"But I don't want to stay away from either of you," you whispered, and he kissed you softly. "Bradley, you have to fight for Noah.

"I know, Princess. I know. But I have no idea how long this could take. And if you and I are something, then Meredith can try to use that to hurt you. Or twist it into some fabricated story about..." He shook his head, hesitating before he said, "About how you're so much younger than me. It would look bad."

Something. Being something with Bradley would feel so right. "Is that what you wanted to talk about before Meredith found Noah and I at the park?"

He nodded miserably. "I wanted to talk about us."

Your heart couldn't handle this. You looked at Bradley's gorgeous face and emotion filled expression, and you felt tears again as you stroked your fingernails along the short hair at the back of his neck. It felt good, and it looked like he was starting to calm down as you dug your fingers in a bit more.

"You can't worry about that right now. You need to worry about Noah. Do you have a good lawyer? Someone you can trust who knows what a good dad you are? Will it help if I give a statement about how you take care of everything for him? You're so responsible, you even hired a top notch babysitter."

You laughed softly when Bradley smiled at you, but now your tears were starting to fall.

"It's okay, Princess," he muttered using his thumb to brush them away.

"No, it's not okay. Because you're Noah's dad. You'd never abandon him. You love him."

Bradley kissed your cheeks, damp from the tears. The prickle of his mustache on your skin and his hands on your body felt so good, it was almost unbearable. "You're so fucking sweet," he crooned. "I can't believe I told you I wanted anything else except you. Can you even forgive me?"

You nodded with your eyes closed as his lips brushed along your forehead. "Of course. But don't hurt me again."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't."

You wanted to be able to trust him again. You thought you could. "What does this mean then?"

He shook his head, still looking sad. "I can't give you a commitment, baby. Not now. I need to focus on Noah and my lawyer and this fucking court case."

You nodded as he kissed your forehead again and again. "What if you had started dating one of the women from the app?"

"I'd have ended things. For real. And it would have been easy to put Noah and myself ahead of them. Not like with you. You're different."

"Oh," you gasped as he backed you up against the counter. His words made you feel as good as deleting the dating app had.

"I want you. But I need to give the appearance that I'm one hundred percent focused on Noah right now. Distraction free. I couldn't ask you to wait for me."

You let Bradley's words wash over you, and you marvelled at him. "You would want me to wait for you? You would wait for me?"

His eyes were wide as he squeezed your hips and nodded. You were both silent for a moment as the skim of his thumbs along your dress was somehow enough to leave your breath ragged. He licked his lips "You want me to beg?"

"Yes, Daddy."

You moaned as he dropped to his knees in front of you, and you grabbed two fists full of his hair. You bit your lip as he looked up at you with his pretty brown eyes. "Please, Princess?" he asked. "When you look at me like that and talk to me like that, I just about fucking lose it, baby."

"Bradley," you moaned, pulling him closer to you. And then his hands were at the backs of your calves, and he was kissing your belly through your dress.

"I barely lasted a week without you," he whispered, his hands slowly making their way up to your thighs. He rested his chin just below your belly button and looked up at you with needy eyes. "Do you have any idea how jealous you made me feel today? I couldn't stand it when Jake was touching you. I wanted to level him to the ground when he kissed you." Bradley guided your dress up to your waist and kissed along your belly until his nose was buried against the front of your underwear.

"Daddy. I'll wait for you."

He kept his eyes on yours as he bunched your dress up in one fist and pulled your underwear down with his other hand. Then his lips were on your pussy, so soft as the rough feel of his mustache made you gasp his name.

Bradley licked slowly along your slit, separating you until he had his lips wrapped around your clit. Your fingers were still wound so tight in his hair, but you couldn't let go as you bucked against him.

"You're so damn sensitive," he growled, wrapping his hands around your thighs and lifting you up onto the counter without warning as he stood.

"Bradley!" you screeched, tugging on his hair as he set your bare butt on the cold granite. He kissed your lips and pulled your dress over your head, and then he pulled you to the very edge of the counter as you let your own taste linger on your tongue. "What are you doing?"

He looked you up and down, sitting there in your bra and sandals with your underwear dangling from your right foot. "Gonna make you cum."

And then he was back on his knees with his face buried in your pussy while you braced yourself on the edge of the counter. He was so good at this, and you couldn't help but rock against his face as you watched him get you so close.

"Daddy," you whined. "You really like doing this, don't you?" He sucked on your clit until you were squeaking and kicking the lower cabinet.

"Eating pussy?"

"Yeah," you moaned as he licked you while he grinned.

"I do. And a pussy as sweet as yours? I never wanna stop."

Your eyes fluttered closed as he slipped two fingers inside you. You arched your back and accidentally put your hand in the corner of Noah's leftover birthday cake as he nibbled on your clit. "Oh, fuck."

"Remind me," he said, in that deep Daddy voice. "Anyone else ever put their lips here, Princess?" He kissed you so softly just above his fingers sliding in and out of you.

"No!" you nearly screamed, so thankful that Greyson was just a boy compared to Bradley. Just the idea of Greyson was laughable. He wouldn't do this for you, and thank god he hadn't. It would have been so disappointing.

"That's a good girl," he crooned, and your hand sunk further into the cake as you came.

-------------------------------

Bradley's lips and mustache were wet and his dick was so hard. You said you'd wait for him. He couldn't believe he had been bold enough to even ask you.

Bradley watched as you pulled your right hand out of Noah's birthday cake. You looked like you were in a daze, already so pliant in Bradley's arms as he stood and unhooked your bra. "You feel good, Princess?" he asked softly, and you nodded as he eased the fabric away from your tits and tossed your bra on top of your dress. "Perfect."

He raised your bandaged arm and kissed the inside of your elbow softly before taking your thumb between his lips to clean off the icing. He licked each of your fingers in turn until you were mostly cleaned up.

"Are you gonna fuck me?" you asked as your eyes followed the movement of his lips gliding along your hand.

He leaned in to kiss you, letting you taste the icing as it mingled with your wetness. "Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

Bradley groaned as you reached for the front of his jeans with your left hand and yanked his zipper down. "Easy, baby. There's no rush."

Your moan was so pretty, head tossed back as you whispered, "You're such a man."

Bradley stripped his shirt off before toeing off his shoes. You watched him ease down his jeans and remove the rest of his clothing before he came to stand between your spread thighs. He knew he was big, and the sight of his cock rubbing through your wet pussy had him grunting as you whined loudly.

Thank goodness Noah was gone for the night.

He pushed himself inside you with one hard thrust, and your body completely lit up for him. "Daddy," you gasped, keeping your wide eyes on his as you wrapped your fingers around the back of his neck. Your perfect lips were parted, and when he pulled your bottom lip between his, you moaned.

Then he started thrusting into you as his hips rubbed the insides of your soft thighs where you were spread wide for him. "I knew I needed it to be special," he mused out loud, tipping your pretty face up with his big hands on your neck and cheek. "You're so fucking perfect."

"Daddy."

He shook his head and went harder as your hands fell back next to your ass to brace yourself on the counter. "No more college boys. No more Jake."

"No," you gasped, the quiver of your voice getting louder and higher. "I don't want them!"

"Just us," he said, and you nodded your head vigorously as you bit your lip.

Bradley could feel your thighs tighten against him as you pulsed softly around his cock. "Fuck," you groaned, looking up at him, your face screwed up in pleasure.

"You're already close." He couldn't believe it. He wrapped his hands around your waist and gave you long, hard strokes as you shook your head slowly from side to side. The tip of your tongue met the corner of your lips, and then Bradley's mouth was all over yours. He swallowed every gasp you made before you started keening and gripping him harder.

"Oh my god," you whined, cumming around him when he reached for your clit with his thumb. And there went your hand, right back into Noah's cake. Bradley smiled and enjoyed the bounce of your pretty tits as he fucked the last bit of your orgasm out of you.

You were shaking a bit, looking up at him in shock as his movements slowed. You leaned forward to kiss his lips softly, and your clean fingers trailed down the front of his body. Bradley groaned loudly as you grazed his pubic hair and reached down to cup his balls as he was still hard and buried inside you.

"You gonna keep going, Daddy?" you asked him softly, your eyes entirely too innocent looking for your own good.

"I can stop if you need a break," he promised, kissing your cheek. Your fucked out face was going to be his undoing.

"No," you whined, wiggling your pussy up and down his cock. "I want you to cum, too."

Bradley let you fuck yourself on him while he stayed still. Your gaze was transfixed on your pussy as you took him nice and slow. "God, you're big. Daddys are big," you whispered, seemingly to yourself. You were getting icing all over his counter and your thigh, and Bradley wanted you to fucking stay here with him forever.

"You want me to cum too, Princess?" he asked, his voice rough, drawing your gaze up to his face.

"Yes."

He had you off the counter in an instant, spinning you and bending you over. "Good girl," he crooned as you spread your legs a little wider and got up on your tiptoes for him. "Yeah, you know what to do." He guided himself inside you again, fucking you as he palmed your ass. Your cheek came to rest on the granite counter, and Bradley watched you lick icing from your hand as you took him.

When he held you by your hips, he pulled you up so you were barely touching the floor. He could see how tight you were, gripping onto his cock with each thrust. You felt too good to be true, honestly better than anything. And you were just whining and licking up the icing like the most beautifully depraved thing he could have ever imagined.

"Daddy," you groaned, your voice shaking as Bradley fucked you harder. "Oh!"

Each thrust was somehow better than the last, and soon his hips were jerking in rough little strokes. His body was slapping against yours, and his head was tipped back. "Oh, hell yes," he growled, squeezing your hips tight and clenching his eyes shut before he watched those final few strokes of his dick in your pussy.

And then he was filling you with his cum as you whined his name. He fucked his cum deeper as you looked up at him over your shoulder. You had icing on your lips, and he leaned down to lick you clean.

"Mmm," you moaned as he pulled out of you. But when you went to stand, Bradley pushed you back gently onto the counter and knelt behind you.

He kissed your ass and the backs of both of your thighs, and then he watched a bead of his cum drip out of your pretty, little pussy and down to your clit before dropping onto the floor. "Jesus fucking Christ," he whispered, mesmerized by the mess he had made and how pretty it looked oozing out of you. He kissed along your backside and whispered so much praise until you wiggled yourself back against his face.

"You okay, Daddy?" you asked, and he stood up to collect you against himself. You were a mess of cum and icing, and he kissed you gently, trying to convey how much he needed you.

"Yeah, I'm good, Princess." You wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his neck as he reached above you for a plate. He used the plastic utensils and cut an enormous piece of cake. And then he helped ease you onto the floor with him.

You giggled as he leaned back against the cabinet and pulled you against him. You were straddling his left thigh, making an absolute mess of his cum, sticky between the two of you. It was perfect. And you settled your cheek against his shoulder as he fed you a bite of cake.

"I'm so happy you came over today."

----------------------------

You took bites of the cake from the shared fork, practically moaning over how good it tasted after getting fucked so well.

"You were hard forever," you murmured. "How did you last so long?"

"I'm not one of your college frat boys, Princess."

"No, you're not," you said, meeting his eyes. The quickie in your bedroom and the other times you'd been with him had been exceptional. You always came! He made sure you were enjoying yourself! He never asked for anything for himself! "I know we can't be...official," you whispered, sounding ridiculous to your own ears as your pussy rubbed along the coarse hairs on his thigh as you sat up straight. You met his eyes as you asked, "But are you going to stop messing around with other people?"

Bradley looked at you and cocked his head to one side. "I'm confused. What do you mean?"

You sighed and tucked your face against his neck. "You wanted me to wait for you?" you whispered, and Bradley started laughing loudly. You jerked back away from him. "What?" you asked as you tried to scramble out of his lap. But he held you firmly in place.

"I haven't been with anyone except you in almost a year, Princess," he said, his tone slightly self-deprecating as his cheeks flushed. "That fantastic blowjob you gave me ended my dry spell."

You just gaped at him before you asked, "When I left and walked back in to get my sweatshirt?" When he nodded you grinned. "You were about to masturbate that night, weren't you?"

Bradley groaned. "I was. But I got something so much better than my own hand and your sweatshirt to smell."

You moaned softly. "How? How did you go that long? A year?"

"Noah," he said with a shrug. "If I have to choose between him and seeing someone, I obviously have to choose him. I mean I also want to choose him." He paused and fed you another bite of cake. "But you don't make me choose. You let me be Noah's dad, and then you let me spend my extra time with you. I missed you this week. I missed your Skittles, Princess."

Your head was swimming with his words as you leaned in closer and whispered, "I missed you so much, Bradley. Both of you." He set down the plate and pulled you against him. "What are you going to do about Meredith?"

He ran his fingers up and down your back as you melted against him. The rumble of his deep voice had your eyes drifting closed. "I'm going to fight for Noah. I don't know what else to do. Tracy, my lawyer, thinks I have a good case."

"That's good," you whispered. "Noah needs you." You couldn't tell him that you needed him, too. That you needed both of them. Not yet. For now you could feel secure in the knowledge that Bradley would be waiting for you, ready for a commitment after he won custody. Because he would definitely win custody. "If you need me to watch Noah for you or make a statement in court, I can do that."

He hummed against your hair and said, "I don't want you to have to do that. Meredith and her lawyer will try to find a way to make you look bad."

You pulled away from him and rolled your eyes. "Now that I know who Meredith is and what she's all about, she doesn't scare me, Bradley. I'll be there in an instant if you think it would help. There has to be some reason she's trying to get custody all of a sudden. You need to figure it out with Tracy."

"I know," he mumbled. "I'm going to keep Noah with me. I have to. And I'm going to try to get Meredith out of the picture for good."

"She doesn't deserve him."

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Bradley's heart was telling him that you were the one who was good enough for Noah. You loved his son, and Noah was enamored with you as well. More than anything, he wanted to label this now. He wanted to put a tag on this feeling of holding you on his kitchen floor while you were a mess from his cum and the icing. He wanted you to be his for real.

"How's your arm feeling?" he asked, rubbing the gauze on your forearm gently.

"It's getting there," you whispered against his neck. "Hard to change the bandages by myself though."

"I'll do it." His immediate response had you looking up at him and nodding. "Might be easier to clean it up in the shower? And then rebandage everything?"

"Yeah," you agreed, and Bradley was scooping you up as he stood. When he set you down on your feet, he reached for your hand, but instead of leading you to the bathroom, he took you to the refrigerator.

"You want a beer?" he asked, grabbing two in one hand.

"For the shower?" you asked with a laugh. "I guess."

Then he kissed the tip of your nose, and led you down the hallway. "You've never had a shower beer before?"

You giggled at the scandalized look on his face. "No, I can't say that I have."

"Well, shit. Stick with me, baby. I'll show you the finest things in life." He set both bottles down on the ledge next to his shampoo and turned the shower on, and while the water warmed up he pulled you close.

"You are both ridiculous and adorable at the same time," you told him as he started to remove your bandage. "And I'm really happy you didn't start dating anyone from the app."

He groaned as he examined your arm. "That fucking app. I know Nat meant well, but I'm never doing that again. That was a waste of time."

"Good," you whispered as he ran his fingers gently along your healing scrapes. "I don't want you to."

Bradley reached back to test the water temperature before stepping in with you and sliding the glass door closed. First he took the time to clean your arm up as gently as he could. You watched him quietly, and every time he met your eyes, he kissed you. He knew he was going to have to focus on so many other things this week, so he just wanted to enjoy this moment with you while he had it.

After he rinsed your arm, he handed you one of the beers and tapped his bottle to yours. Then he took a long pull of beer while you took a sip of yours, pressing the bottle to your pretty lips.

"Cold beer? Hot shower? It just makes sense, right?" he asked as you laughed.

"I hate it when you're right," you said. "I figured this was one of your silly, old man philosophies, but it actually does somehow make sense."

Bradley rolled his eyes while he drank and then set his beer down. "You told me I'm not that old."

"You're not, Daddy," you whispered, taking a long drink before adding, "I just like to mess with you."

Bradley reached for the soap while you drank. He was admiring the water droplets rolling down your neck to your tits and belly. When he licked up some of the beads of water from your collarbone, you moaned around your beer bottle, and Bradley's cock twitched. He coated his hands in soap before rubbing them along your beautiful skin while he hummed.

"I know that song," you murmured, head lulling to the side slightly as his fingers met the undersides of your breasts. "I was playing it the first time I babysat Noah. You were surprised I knew it."

"It's my favorite song," he quickly supplied. "And now it reminds me of you. And for some reason, I don't even find that annoying."

You almost knocked the beers down as you reached for him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you kissed him. He loved this. The feel of you in his arms, the warmth of your body under the cascading shower, and the taste of his favorite beer on your tongue.

"I don't know why I like that so much," you told him between kisses.

Bradley reached for your hips and pressed himself against you as he said, "The song makes me happy, and so do you, Princess."

Your soft gasp had him a little dizzy. "You're already hard again," you whispered in wonder, running your painted fingernails down along his length. "We just had sex in the kitchen."

He nodded as you wrapped your hand around him. "I could get hard for you anytime."

The whimpered, "Daddy," that escaped your lips made him throb. And this time when he fucked you from behind, it was slower, and maybe a little sweeter. You had your right hand planted against the tile wall and you were turned back to look at him over your right shoulder. Every soft whimper and each flutter of your wet eyelashes had him spewing out the kind of depraved nonsense he couldn't remember ever telling anyone else.

You're so perfect, baby.

Nobody else feels this good.

I could spend the rest of the night making love to you.

I think I need you.

And you let him say every single word to you as you whimpered for him. Whined for more. So he rocked into you and kissed your neck and cheek and shoulder. He buried his face against you, somehow still smelling wildflowers on your skin. He had so many words on the tip of his tongue, and he started to lose track of what he had even told you.

He was all lips and hands and praising as you came for him, again. And when you turned to face him, back against the tile and eyes wide, you pulled him to you. Then you kissed him until he was ready to keep begging you for more.

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After Bradley dried you off and took you into his bedroom, he pulled out a well worn Top Gun tee shirt and some gym shorts for you to wear. He was just strutting around naked, looking hotter than sin as he tightened the drawstring of the shorts for you. "Since your dress is covered in cum and icing," he said, kissing your cheek while you laughed.

"It was a kitchen casualty, and I don't mind at all," you replied, frowning a little bit when he pulled on some underwear.

"Yeah, well," he grunted, "I'm not complaining about how tonight ended up."

"I was really mad at you when I got here, and since then, we've had sex multiple times," you said blandly.

He linked his fingers with yours. "Thank you for listening to me. I'm not gonna hurt you again, Princess."

"You better not." He tugged on your hand and took you back to the kitchen, which was actually a mess. But when you started to clean up, Bradley shook his head.

"Absolutely not." He flipped on his fancy coffee maker and then grabbed a first aid kit from under the sink. "Come here." You sat on his left thigh as he took the time to carefully examine your right arm, pausing now and then to kiss your fingers. "It looks pretty good. I hope it doesn't scar," he said looking up at you with a very serious expression. "I can't believe this is my fault."

You kissed him and shook your head. "I don't care if it scars. And it's not like you forced Meredith to be a flaming bitch."

He just grunted and very gently rubbed first aid cream onto your scrapes before taping some fresh gauze into place. He actually did a pretty good job.

"You're my favorite nurse," you whispered, and then he laughed.

"You're my favorite nurse, Princess."

He set you down on the chair and brought you a vanilla latte in a mug that said I Like to Wing It. And then he proceeded to steal so many sips that you said, "Next time, make two, Daddy."

"Next time," he murmured, kissing you until you knew you had to leave before you just didn't.

"I should go," you told him, standing with the mug.

"You should stay," he replied, taking the mug from you and swallowing hard. "Please?"

Your eyes fluttered closed. "I want to, but I don't think we should get into a habit of that. Not right now."

He sighed and dipped his head down. "Someday, I'm going to want you to stay, and I'm never going to want you to leave."

You met his eyes and told him, "That sounds good to me, Daddy."

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Hey, no cliffhanger! It's all out in the open now. Lord knows what he was close to telling her in the shower. Hope you enjoy your fic, @beyondthesefourwalls And thank you @mak-32 !

PART 17

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prolix-yuy · 6 months

Text

Crawling Back to You

Pairing: Incubus!Dieter Bravo x Virgin F!Reader

Summary: Have you no idea that you're in deep?

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: Explicit, 18+ MINORS DNI, religious corruption kink, bastardizing prayers, brief drug use, mentions of alcohol consumption, grinding, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, breaking a hymen, descriptions of blood, biting and drawing blood, pheromone incubus anatomy, size difference/kink like whoa, monster transformation, monster fucking, PiV sex, wildly unrealistic sex, kind of dubious consent in the way that she has no idea what she's getting into so Dieter checks in A LOT, consent is sexy and monsters especially should ask for it, Reader has no idea what she's doing when it comes to summoning an incubus.

Notes: Like most things Dieter's involved in, it takes twice as long but you reap the most rewards. A little late for Halloween, but spooky season is 24/7 and I needed to put this out into the world as soon as possible. Very special gold star mutual thanks due to @ezrasbirdie who gave me the prompt for this story and then talked me through some of the ideas she had. Religious corruption kink is super new for me, not being raised in a formal religion, but it was incredibly interesting to explore in this way. Apologies for the sacrilege, friends, it's all in the pursuit of sexyness.

A big disclaimer! This is not a blueprint for losing your virginity! This is some wildly unrealistic sex, especially for someone who has never experienced PiV intercourse before! Please be safe and careful with your bodies. While we thirst over these scenarios and would love to take monster cocks, always practice safe and fun sex with partners who care about your comfort.

A second disclaimer that in this fic, the Reader defines losing her virginity as experiencing penetrative sex and breaking her unbroken hymen. Virginity does not look the same for every person, and each individual's circumstances may be very different. Virginity is also a social construct that has some gross stigmas around it, which we'll be briefly addressing. I've also kept the reader's age unspecified (18+ of course) but that she has gone to college, so whatever age you may be reading this, your own sexual journey moves at your pace and if/when you define that you've passed this milestone, that's the right time for you.

Cross-posted on AO3

The lines chalked into your hardwood floors glow with a sudden and panic-inducing heat, smoldering as a phantom breeze whips around your kneeling body. The lights in your apartment flicker and dim as a sooty haze hangs around your ankles. Springing to your feet, you frantically search for something to smear the careful symbols to nonsense while a crackle of electricity raises all of the hair on the back of your arms and neck.

It’s much too late to go back now.

Something pulls in the center of your chest as the room expands and contracts like a great beast breathing. You try to stand strong but the tremble in your frame chatters your teeth. Suddenly the room plunges into darkness, and a crack echoes in your ears before the light swells back to full strength. Bracing yourself for what may be in the circle you foolishly copied, you peel open your eyes.

Then, your mouth falls open, because never in your wildest dreams did you expect Dieter Bravo, famous actor, to be sitting in the middle of your half-assed summoning circle.

“What the fuck?”

He looks just as bewildered as you do, cross-legged on the floor and pulling his lips from a turquoise bong cradled in his lap. He’s wearing sunglasses - did you spirit him here from halfway around the world? - and an open silk bathrobe patterned with roaring tigers. The waterfall of folds bundle in his lap, and for a mouth-drying moment you wonder if he’s got anything on beneath. Then he shifts, billowing a cloud of skunky smoke at your ceiling and placing the bong at arms length.

Well, he is wearing socks at least, pulled halfway up his legs and under Crocs. You don’t know whether to laugh or choke on your tongue.

“What the fuck to you too,” he grumbles, creakily getting to his feet and dusting little frills of ash from his shoulders. It’s now easy to see he’s sporting tiny black boxer briefs, and your eyes fight to land anywhere but there. They finally find the book, opened to the page you scoffed over until your finished glass of wine goaded you on.

“This can’t be happening,” you finally squeak out, shifting on the balls of your feet as you spin and press your fingers into your cheeks.

“Sure is,” Dieter says, one hand on his hip and looking at you with naked curiosity. He’s swept back the robe on one side, showing off the shapely curve of his thigh, the soft definition of his stomach, how large his hands…

“I didn’t…I couldn’t have…you…go back,” you stammer, heart and head pounding. Does this mean you’re a witch? Did you honestly summon something with a book you rented from the library? Nothing makes sense with this man staring at you - practically leering - as you contemplate whether you’re having a dusty-old-book-based hallucination.

“Breathe, baby,” Dieter purrs, hands making soothing motions in the air between you. Taking in a big breath and letting it out explosively, you follow Dieter’s motions to sit down with him. The floor is hard and unforgiving on your bottom, but you criss-cross-applesauce with him as he leans back on his hands.

“Normally when I show up, people aren’t all that surprised,” he says, and his voice is raspy and sonorous in the room. You swallow hard, finding comfort in twisting the hem of your pajama shirt in your palms.

“Well, it’s pretty damn surprising to have THE Dieter Bravo in my living room,” you say, a momentary swell of pride when you realize your sarcasm hasn’t flown the coop with your sanity. Dieter chuckles, tilting his head onto one shoulder.

“Who were you expecting?”

“Honestly, no one. Nothing,” you lie. Half-lie. You were hoping for something pretty specific.

“Very cute, but let’s not pretend we don’t know what’s going on here. I know exactly what you were hoping would pop up in this pretty little circle of yours.”

Your eyes wander to his inner thigh, then snap to a symbol on the floor.

“I thought…” You sigh, ducking your head. “I thought I was summoning some sort of…sexy demon. At least that’s what the book said.”

“An incubus,” Dieter offers, and you nod.

“But clearly something went wrong, because you’re here, somehow.” You scrub a hand over your face. “No idea how I messed up this bad. I didn’t even know you could mess up this badly.”

“Oh, you didn’t,” Dieter says in a carefree voice. “Mess up, that is.” You arch an eyebrow at him.

“But I got…you.”

Dieter leans forward, elbows on his knees as he cocks his head with a knowing smile. In the dim light of your apartment his eyes seem even darker than before.

“Exactly what you asked for. At your service.” He tips his head, tongue slipping from between his plush lips to swipe along his full lower one. A sudden patter of arousal grips your hips, and he half closes his eyes and breathes deep.

“That can’t…you’re Dieter Bravo.”

“Yes.”

“You’re an…incubus.”

“Also yes.”

The next question blurts out of your mouth too quickly to stop.

“Why?”

His laugh is just as quick and breaks some of the tension digging into your spine. The warmth of it wraps your head in cotton, smiling along.

“Oh, starlet, I should be pissed as hell to be pulled away from that fantastic party I was about to ruin, but this is turning out to be much more fun.” Your cheeks warm at the affectionate name. “How many people do you think summon incubi these days? A demon’s gotta get by.” He’s sliding closer to the edge of the circle but not moving past it. A small voice in the back of your mind notes that he might not be able to.

“So…acting,” you say, not without a little smirk. He seems to like that, smile stretching wider and crinkling the corners of his eyes.

“What, should I be slinging burgers?” he asks with another snort of laughter. “C’mon, don’t tell me it doesn’t make sense. Beautiful people, sex appeal galore, fast living and high octane relationships? I haven’t been hungry in ages.”

Your hands still in your lap, studying your fingers as you let the silence linger. Dieter allows it for a time before his voice pulls you back.

“But you summoned, and I came. You must have a reason.”

Now that the silly half-buzzed fantasy is mere feet from you, saying it aloud is daunting.

“You’ll…you won’t get it.”

His eyebrows lift in slow surprise.

“Try me.”

You're turned on more than you’ve ever experienced in your life, and Dieter’s nostrils flare as his jaw ticks.

“I was having a drink. A couple,” you correct, the dregs of the bottle giving you away. “And I was just hating the way I was feeling about everything going on and I looked at this book and it seemed like a funny thing, to try and summon a demon…”

“Incubus, get it right,” Dieter purrs, and the air thickens.

“I didn’t think it would work,” you protest, hands coming up to cradle your temples.

“But you hoped, enough to do all this work on the one day of the year when magic is easiest to grasp,” he teases, tilting his head to the side to catch your eye. It’s definitely not helping the situation that he’s Dieter Bravo, solid C-list star who’d captured your attention in more than one of his movies. Thoughts of his dark eyes and full lips drew your hands down your body on more than one occasion before…

Dieter growls low and frustrated. “Let’s cut to the chase, starlet. You’re laying out a buffet and I can’t even have a taste.” You blink owlishly at him before he smirks, licking an incisor. “I can smell how much you want me.”

Shock slams your mouth shut, face burning. Your traitorous body has failed you again.

“You called and I answered. I’m still in your circle, so you could send me away, but I doubt you know how to do that.”

He’s right. You’ve trapped him here. With little old you.

“Or, you could tell me what you really wanted when you spent all this time writing all these little symbols so carefully.” Dieter’s fingers dance along the chalk lines, smile turning cheekier. Steeling yourself, you let the truth out into open air.

“I called you because…I’ve never had anyone before.”

Dieter’s face remains cooly neutral, but you can see his nostrils flare briefly.

“You’ve never…”

You shrug, self-deprecating smile cutting through the awkwardness.

“I’ve done some things, by myself, but never…I’ve never had sex with anyone in the…classical way.” The words are starched and wooden but hit a chord with Dieter. He repositions to sit back on his knees, hands splayed on his bare thighs. The smooth expanse of his chest begs to be touched.

“I thought I smelled something special here, and I was oh so right,” he rasps, nipping at his lower lip while he drags his eyes over your body. “Human virginity is a social construct, but inexperience in pleasure? Being allowed to revel in your body discovering all the ways it can feel? That is a rare treat.”

You don’t expect the sudden rush of emotions at Dieter’s eagerness. Years of people either finding you broken or fetishizing your “purity” had given you an even larger complex than you thought.

“It’s not…fucked up that I’m doing this?” you ask.

“What sounds better to you, letting some Chad fumble through trying to pleasure you when his dick can barely handle your sweet cunt, or allowing someone with centuries of experience give you everything you ever desired?”

Your aforementioned cunt knows which one she wants.

“May I ask why you’ve waited until now?” he says, interrupting your railroading thoughts. Shyness and shame clouds your eyes.

“My parents were very religious. Lots of ‘thou shalt nots’ and ‘obey thys’. But I wanted to be a good daughter. So badly.” Dieter’s eyes are darkening as you speak, fingers pressing divots into his thighs. “So I did everything they said. Followed all the rules. And I grew up their perfect little girl. Never got caught sneaking out with a boy, never drank or smoked or anything.”

“How…boring,” Dieter comments. It stings between your shoulders.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much all I heard when I went to college. That I was boring for not liking weed. A buzzkill because I was nervous about breaking rules. And sex…”

Here you swallow, your lower lip trembling before you bite it back.

“I thought I was doing everything right. Everyone told me I was doing everything right. And then I get into the real world and nobody wants…” Looking up you catch a softer expression on Dieter’s face, true understanding blunting the lust.

“How have these fumbling fools tried to pleasure you?” he asks, and maybe the wine is still thrumming in your veins (it’s not), but your tongue is looser than it’s ever been.

“Grinding mostly. I think they’ve…cum…but I don’t. Not like when I do it myself.”

Dieter snarls softly. “Fuckers,” he rumbles, an oncoming thunderclap crackled with electricity.

“Every time I feel like I’m damaged goods,” you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I thought maybe this would…fix me.”

The lights in the room dip low as Dieter chuckles. Darkness seems drawn to him, settling around his shoulders like a fine stole.

“Betrayed by the God you worshiped so faithfully,” he muses, rolling his shoulders and licking his lips. “Don’t worry, starlet, I’ll take care of you tonight.”

“Can I…do anything for you?” you ask. Dieter’s smile softens, tutting quietly.

“Believe me, you’ll be perfect,” he praises, the heat in your cheeks even more unbearable. “Like I said, I’m rarely hungry anymore, but your arousal will be delicious. I’ll gorge myself on your peaks and leave you sated…and ruined for any after me.”

That should be a warning. It only makes your want greater.

“Okay,” you breathe out. Dieter’s smile widening again. Are his teeth…sharper?

“Now we can fuck to our heart’s content in this summoning circle here,” Dieter says, tapping his finger in the air. Motes of copper light and sparks rain down from an invisible barrier. “I’ve had more challenging obstacles. But if you would like me at my best, break the circle starlet.”

Standing back up, you retrieve a cloth from your kitchen table. When you return Dieter is standing in the center, prowling ever so slightly in his tiny prison. You move to wipe the line connecting the circle when…

“Are other celebrities incubi?” you ask, kneeling in front of him with open curiosity on your face. Dieter’s predatory smile quickly shuffles to confused and incredulous.

“I mean, maybe, I don’t keep close tabs.”

“Tom Hiddleston could totally be one. Or Robert Downey Jr. Heck, maybe Marvel just employs incubi to keep their revenue going…” Leaning down, you move to wipe the mark.

“Strange little starlet,” Dieter chuckles, and a warm breeze tickles the back of your neck. With one swipe the circle is broken.

“Hannah Waddingham would totally be…” you start to say, nerves tumbling words from your lips, but thankfully Dieter’s stop them.

He moves so quickly for a moment you’re sure he’s going to devour you, tear you limb from limb for imprisoning him. Instead he crashes your mouths together, hand firm on the back of your neck as his broad shoulders press you on your back. His hips slot between your thighs so smoothly you’re arching into them before you can think straight. Once your head is carefully lowered to the floor his hands find your wrists and press them above your head, maneuvering your thighs to wrap you around his waist. The dizzying feat of agility pales in comparison to his kiss.

Dieter commands your mouth to submit, tongue hot and lewd between your lips. You’re afraid you’ll choke on your own but he strokes delicate paths into the lush depths that keep you barely breathing. His lips are plush and yielding, pulling away to drag against the corner of your mouth or teasing the edge of your lips. And his teeth. You’d had boys clack against you, or press them harshly against your lips. Dieter knows exactly when to scrape them against your tongue, how much pressure to put with your lower lip trapped, the anticipation of them sliding against your skin before he dives in again.

“What a soft, pretty thing you are,” he rasps, and there’s a deep grinding quality to his voice now. Like stones moving slowly past one another, it vibrates straight to your clit as he inhales deeply behind your ear.

“Dieter…” you manage, his face lifting from his ecstasy to study your own. His eyes are somehow losing the edge of white, expanding into inky blackness. He lazily laps at his lower lip, and when you lean up to kiss his chin he snarls and presses deep into your apex.

“I’m sorry, starlet, I forgot you’ve been waiting to break promises,” he teases, sliding a hand down to knead at your ass. As quickly as you were laid out you’re suddenly in the air, legs wrapped around Dieter’s waist as he carries you out of your living room. His strength has you feeling light as a feather, barely a nuisance as he searches out a place for his plans.

“The bedroom.” You motion to a half-opened door and Dieter’s knowing smile precludes entering.

“Eager, aren’t we? What if I wanted to lay you out for everyone to see?”

The image of your body laid bare, covered in moonlight and monstrous hands, flutters your eyes as the bedroom door shuts behind you.

“No, tonight you will remain in my confessional,” he says, kneeling down on the bed and letting you fall back into the mess of pillows and sheets.

“You’re very fond of religious metaphor,” you rib, rubbing your thighs together as Dieter sheds the robe and his Crocs, a brief moment of clarity bubbling a giggle up your throat. Dieter’s motions slow as he regards you again, kneeling between your legs.

“Maybe I am rather fond of…corruption,” he husks, the word lighting on your skin like sparks. “Maybe I like seeing you forsake all for me.”

If he asked, you just might. The high of his attention is so great.

“But in this moment, what I mean is we will speak no lies in this room.” His hands trail down your thighs, and now your body remembers it has no experience from here. You shake, heart pounding as Dieter crawls up your body with only brief brushes to guide his way. “My promise is that you will know pleasure as great as I can offer. And you will tell me everything you think, and feel.”

He hovers over your body, broad enough to block the paltry light through your window.

“Would you like to be pleasured?”

“Yes, Dieter, please.”

His smile is wicked, and the scrape of his fingernails up your ribcage arches your back. In a fluid slide of his fingers your shirt is over your head and tossed into darkness, leaving you bare-chested under him. He hums with appreciation as his face descends, curved nose dragging along your tender skin. Time hangs in the balance as you tense for what may come, but Dieter only traces dizzying paths with the tip of his nose and the fullness of his lips. Up one side of your ribs, placing kisses at intervals, then along the underside of your breast. His hot breath warms skin, nipples hardening sharp and sensitive at the scratch of his facial hair. Then down the center of your stomach, a long and cyclical detour around your bellybutton. Stomach trembling, he hushes you as his fingers slide under your waistband and bunch your sleep shorts and underwear in his hands.

Another fluid drag and you’re nude, still swimming in endorphins at Dieter’s skilled touch. It’s only when hot palms wrap around your knees and begin easing them apart do you balk. Instinctively you clamp your legs together, heat flooding your face. Dieter tuts, smoothing his hands up and down your jittery thighs.

“What are you afraid of, starlet?” he asks, ghosting his fingers over the apex of your sex. Just the brush against your mound steals your voice, that same hot shame and anxiety pulling you in on yourself. When you don’t answer, Dieter commands more firmly, “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Dragging your eyes from the ceiling back to him doesn’t help. He’s all mischievous eyes and knowing smiles, pressing a kiss to both of your knees as he rests his chin on them.

“I can make it easier for you,” he says, fingers finding a soft crease in your hip and stroking along it. “Give you something for the nerves, for any pain. I’ll only let you feel good here with me.”

You take two more grounding breaths and ease the pressure on your knees.

“”Sorry, I’m just…no one’s ever…” you say, but before you can explain your woeful inexperience he’s wedging his way between your legs and holding your thighs open in his firm tight grip.

“I’m the first to taste this forbidden fruit?” he asks, and you clench involuntarily. He waits as you gather yourself enough to nod. A deep, dark chuckle falls from his lips. “Starlet, you have no idea what you’re in for tonight.”

The question claws up your throat but no sooner has he glanced at your pussy he’s diving in to press his tongue deep and sweeping through your folds. The velvet slither arches your back off the bed, a strangled cry earning a satisfied hum between your legs.

“Holy shit, Dieter, oh my god,” you rasp as he flicks his tongue in fast swipes over your clit. It’s foreign and taboo, so much wetter and softer than your fingers and you can barely stop your hips from bucking into his mouth. One hand presses you down to the bed, his chin tilting up to catch your eye. Slick shines his mouth, and your pussy throbs when you realize his eyes are the shiny black of nightmares and creatures used to the dark.

“No god here, sweetheart. Only me. Only take my name in vain,” he growls, and the rush of blood in your ears speeds up when you realize the hand pressed on your abdomen spans the width of your hips. Black-tipped claws indent the flesh, prickling your skin just shy of pain. Dipping low again, Dieter swirls at your entrance and prods in, nose pressed tight to the button of your pleasure. The supple stretch is unfamiliar, pulling at a primal need to let him fill you. It tightens your thighs and shudders you against him as he forces you down again, the bite of claws a sharper warning. His jaw doesn’t stop, plunging and delving into you as deep as he can manage.

“Dieter, it’s never…oh fuck, it’s never felt this good before, please…please, I can’t stand it,” you beg, a rush of slick coating his tongue. Now a true snarl seeds your cunt, and in the charcoal dark his silhouette thickens, shoulders broadening under your knees. He pushes you further up the bed, pulling even greater cries from your chest. Dragging his tongue from your sopping hole, he sucks greedily on your clit, hands wrapped around your waist to lift you half off the bed. Suspended and flowing with arousal, your hands unclench from the sheets and circle his wrists. The skin is hot under your palms, and they dig deeper in at your scrabbling touch. It’s not enough, so with a boldness you pull from a dizzying depth you bury your fingers in his curls.

At first touch they’re soft. Long enough to wind around your fingers. You give a gentle tug and swear you feel a shudder around you. But as you bury them deeper another sensation tickles your palm. Something unyielding and curved, smooth like bone. Two protrusions fit in the webbing of your thumb and forefinger, short enough that the blunt tip brushes your knuckles. Horns, you think. A demon is eating me out and he has horns. And where you might have tried to wake yourself from a nightmare at this thought, instead you wrap your fingers around them and tug.

Like lightning something changes in Dieter. His lips tear from you with a roar that fills the room, your mind, spreading like forest fire and drying your mouth out. You hold on as he drops you back to the bed, the sound still ripping from his throat. Then there’s pain, supernova-like in intensity and scorching through arousal and fear. Your eyes snap down to Dieter’s mouth, but it’s no longer defiling your pussy. It’s clamped hard on your inner thigh, air puffing sharply through his nose. The pain radiates, and you realize he’s bit you. Not an overzealous love bite, you can feel the puncture of incisors and pump of blood into his mouth, the same pattern as your racing heart. Your hands release his horns, pushing you up as your mouth drops open in horror.

“Dieter,” you gasp, but with his horns released the pressure abates. His eyes open slowly, catching your terrified face. The curve of his brow morphs from surprise to apology to determination. Then a thumb presses firmly to your clit and circles it, washing pain away with pleasure teetering right on the edge. His fangs remain in your thigh as you stare at him, incredulity on your face but pleasure rocking your hips. He adds pressure to the bite again, speeding up his fingers as your brain struggles to differentiate one from the other.

Then, just as your spine begins tingling and your fingers go numb, one slick finger penetrates your cunt, smooth and deep, barely noticeable compared to the symphony of sensations. Like a reward, Dieter gives you the final stroke that crashes your orgasm over him, slamming you back to the bed as pain and pleasure and shame and exhilaration floods your brain. You barely register Dieter’s jaw releasing, fingers working you through your orgasm as the slow laps of his tongue lull you back to your body. Every muscle quivers, attempts to sit up failing twice before you manage to come up to your elbows.

Between your legs Dieter is pressing devotions to the spot he bit, open-mouthed kisses with peeks of tongue soothing the injury. His finger is still inside, a lazy caress of your walls foreign but not unpleasant. Finally he lifts up to his knees and turns his attention back to your face.

“I’m sorry, starlet, you got me a little too riled up there. I’ve fixed it, but you might be sore tomorrow.” A bloom of teeth circle your inner thigh, but no blood oozes out. You felt the pop, felt him inside you, and somehow he’s taken it back. “Can’t have you injured because of me, not very professional.”

“I hope it stays,” you pant, fingertips tracing the dark marks. The tenderness arcs down your spine.

“Fuck, you’re made for sin, starlet,” Dieter purrs, and now your attention can turn back to him. Grounding yourself with a healthy, “oh fuck,” is the only way you can fathom what he’s become.

He towers over you even kneeling, broad body only more tantalizing as he’s grown in stature. The well-known triangle tattoos you’d seen in paparazzi photos are joined by swirling patterns up and down his arms, concentric rings and text you can’t read patterning his skin. Where only wild curls were before now jut two smooth horns, curved away from his face and looking suspiciously similar to a goat’s. His skin almost steams in the room, wisps of smoke or condensation haloing his silhouette like an ominous aura.

Then his hand flexes again and you realize how full you are with just one finger inside, even observing how thick and wicked they’ve become.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, and there’s only a hint of teasing now as he works his finger inside.

“It’s…okay,” you gasp, staring at the place where you’re connected. His thumb ghosts over your clit again, but so soon after your high it’s over sensitive, making you hiss and tremble.

“Shhh, starlet, just relax. Thought it would be better to take advantage of the pain.” With a final stroke that lights up your nerves he slips out, holding his fingers up for you to see. They’re wet with your arousal and a little blood, a lot less than you thought. “Now that’s out of the way, we can take our time giving you the best fuck of your life.” With a knowing smile, he pops his fingers into his mouth and licks them clean.

“Fuck, you really are…an incubus,” you say, acquainting yourself with the dull ache of your loss. There isn’t much fanfare, no swelling of emotion. If anything, breaking your hymen is probably the least memorable part of your night. Dieter’s smile falters briefly, and in a dizzying turn of events he shrinks back, closing in on himself. Ducking his head, you might think he was embarrassed, or shy. It looks stranger than the horns on him.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Touching the horns got me a little too worked up. Let me open you up on my fingers for a little while longer, that’ll give me enough time to…change back.” His smile is sheepish now, hands roaming your thighs and stomach. Instead of the skin-crawling terror you thought that would instill, you’re practically preening under his touch.

“Is this you? This form?” you ask, and you let your boldness move to your hands. You stroke your fingertips over his, investigating the smoothness of his claws, how the joints of his fingers are more pronounced than yours. He scoffs an uncomfortable laugh.

“Uh yeah, mostly. But you’ll have a lot more fun bragging that you lost your virginity to THE Dieter Bravo,” he redirects, shaking his head like he’s annoyed he’s not that man yet.

In your brief and paltry handful of intimate moments, you never considered yourself bold. You’d let men touch you until your discomfort was too much, or your embarrassment pulled to the forefront. You never asked for the touches you enjoyed, or sought out the pleasures you dreamed of. But now, with a creature that’s endearingly vulnerable before you, your voice is finally strong enough to be heard.

“I’d like you to stay this way,” you say. Sitting up further, you skim your hands up his arms to cup his face. Your touch snarls his lip briefly before he settles.

“You can’t handle that, starlet. I’ve kept my human form reasonable, but you will not be able to take my cock,” Dieter husks. Tugging your wrist down to his waist, you palm him through fabric barely able to contain him. Thick and long in your hand, he drops his head and thrusts against you and gets bigger.

“Ruin me, then,” you whisper, filthy and naive into his ear. “I’ve waited all this time, saved myself for no one but you. Make me take no lover but you. Make me pray to you for ecstasy.” Leaning in to the metaphor rewards you. With a dangerous rumble he pushes you flat on your back, one hand wrapped around your throat.

“You want this, starlet? All of it?” he grits out, sickening cracks and pops echoing in the room. His hips force yours wide, planting his other hand by your head and carefully watching your face. The shine of his fangs whips your heart into a gallop, more ink dancing on his skin as he transforms from something beautiful to something magnificent. The room darkens perplexingly until you realize wings spread from his shoulders, thin light gleaming through the stretched web of skin. His aura crackles with molten motes, a whiff of fire and smoke making a home in your lungs. When he looks back at you, half familiar and half transcendent, his roguish smile brings one to your lips.

“Strange little thing, wet and ready for me,” he croons, removing his hand from your throat. A rip of stitching signals he’s as nude as you are now, and your eyes widen when the heavy length of his cock rests on your mound, curving past your navel and thicker than your hand can circle.

“Say you want Dieter Bravo back, and I’ll have just as much fun wrecking you in that form,” he says, but there’s something cautious between you now. A shimmer of anxiety and distrust. You’re holding a thread of something truer than he intended to give you, and if you drop it you’ll never find it again.

“Can you help me make it feel good?” you ask, sliding your palms along his chest. Without proper pupils it’s hard to track his expression, but you think it’s awestruck.

“Of course, starlet. You’ve learned to cum from pleasure and pain, but I won’t have you suffer more than necessary.” Dieter leans down and cups your head, bringing your nose to his neck right where it meets his shoulder. “Breathe,” he instructs, and you inhale deep. Below the smoke and heat you smell sweet new earth, lush and fruitful. It makes your mouth water, clutching at his shoulders as he begins rocking his hips against yours. His monstrous cock slips in the wet mess between your legs, slicking the underside generously.

“Fuck, you arousal is so delicious, I could taste you for centuries,” Dieter whispers. Lifting up, he smiles at your dazed expression and wandering hands. They trace his features, lingering on his lips. “How are you feeling now?”

You want him inside you, filling you up to bursting, to breaking. The need is hotter, all-encompassing. It’s surety that he won’t hurt you, that you’ll be shown pleasure beyond anything you’ve experienced. It’s lust but also trust.

“Can you kiss me?” is what you say, and Dieter’s smile is a touch softer before he leans down and claims your lips.

You swear you hear a hiss when he touches you, his skin scorching but not enough to burn. Parting his lips and nudging your jaw open, he traces the inside of your lower one with the tip of his tongue. One hand cups the back of your head, cradling you to his mouth, and with a forbidden thrill you realize his hands are now large enough that his fingertips caress the perimeter of your face. The threatening pressure of claws in your skin arcs arousal back in your cunt, winding your fingers into the curls at the base of his neck.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he orders, and with a magnificent beat of bat wings his silhouette glows with dancing light much like a breath sparking fire to life. The warm hue of his human skin has gilded to gold, tattoos moving along the dips and peaks of his body. Eyes black and fathomless, his smile is a lifeboat in a raging ocean. He lets the heavy weight of his tongue wet his lower lip as your eyes widen, hefty cock lifting from your mound to press at your entrance. Scrabbling fear overtakes you, and you clutch at Dieter’s shoulders as the pressure mounts.

“Again, starlet,” he croons, but his voice is the rumbling of great stones moving over one another as you inhale deep of his scent. Cool water pours through your limbs, easing your muscles and letting your legs drop open wide. His other hand presses at your lower back and arches you off the bed, resting your thighs atop his own. Then, with a controlled push his head breaches you, wrenching a wrecked moan from deep in your chest. He stops as soon as he’s engulfed in your heat, the only betrayal of his own state residing in the long exhale of breath that tickles across your chest.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. Tell me if you need me to stop,” he grits out, but you shake your head and roll your hips. It’s sloppy, inexperienced, but he moves ever so slightly within you and it punches a groan from between Dieter’s clenched teeth.

“Please, Dieter, more,” you beg, his claws tightening around you again. Another measured advance, another wail, more snarling and groaning from the creature stuffing himself inside you. Whatever aphrodisiac he’s fed you is working magnificently. You’re full, the pressure intense, but the pain is dull and quiet. He’s watching where you’re joined so closely, stretched obscenely around his cock, waiting for your thighs to unclench before backing out and pressing deeper in.

“Touch your clit,” he gasps, “Rub that pretty clit so you can take all of me.”

Your fingers are nowhere as decadent as his tongue but they pull bursts of ecstasy close to the surface. Venturing a look down, you’re dismayed to see he’s barely halfway there, so much more of his pulsing cock still to take. He already feels like he’s in your stomach, battering against your lungs. Tears spring to your eyes, lower lip wobbling.

“It’s not going to work,” you whisper, and even with the knowledge that Dieter could turn human at any point you still wallow in the rejection you anticipate. Not good enough for anyone, not even the person you called for.

“Shhh,” Dieter soothes, easing you back down to the bed. He tugs over pillows to tuck under your hips before covering you with his body, still looking in your eyes even at his towering height. “Breathe. Do you want me to stop? I can let you rest, change back to my human form. If you can take all of this…” His hips twitch forward, a soft cry tumbling out. “...then you can take my human cock perfectly.” With a tenderness your eyes water for, he strokes his thumb along your cheek. “Do you want me to stop?”

It’s already so much, so intense and mind-blowing, but you can’t help yourself.

“I want all of it, Dieter,” you say, consequences be damned.

Much in the same way touching his horns unleashed something in Dieter, hearing those words unlocks something even more primal and greedy in his face. Dropping down to his elbows, he presses your face against his neck.

“Bite,” he orders, the word igniting every pleasure center in your body. “Hard, starlet, give me one as good as I gave you.” The words are barely out before you sink your teeth into the crook of his neck, but instead of blood or other ichor you’re flooded with pleasure. The sensation rips an orgasm out of you, hips bucking on his cock. You register Dieter pulling out to the tip before slamming his hips into yours, seating himself fully inside your throbbing cunt. You don’t know how your body makes room for him, how you’re not screaming (well, maybe screaming some), but he’s inside you and littering your body with, “oh fuck, oh fuuuuucks” as he swirls his hips.

“I did it,” you coo in pleasure-dipped delirium, head flopping back on a pillow as Dieter starts thrusting into you in slow passes.

“You sure fucking did sweetheart, look at that perfect pussy taking my monster cock,” he praises, now sliding along your clit with focus. The overstimulation rolls right into desire again as your cunt learns how to gorge itself on pleasure.

“It feels…good,” you say, bearing down on his thrusts to meet him with a little more force. He purrs in admiration, starting to speed up ever so slightly.

“Yeah? Like how good you feel all stuffed full?” Dieter asks but it’s nonsense now, his focus pulling between your face and his cock pumping in and out of you. There’s a little more pain now, places where his cock brushes that zip sharp up your spine, but it’s far from unpleasant. In fact, you might like it. Maybe really like it.

“More, Dieter. Want to feel you. Please,” you moan, restraint flickering in Dieter’s eyes.

“Fuck, baby, you can’t say shit like that when I’m so deep in you, I won’t be able to…” His thought falls off as his thrusts speed up, a little more force at the end each time. It’s kissing at something devastating inside, something clawing its way to the surface through years of shame and dread.

“Please Dieter, I’ll beg for it. I’ll…” Your brain wraps around a wicked idea. “I’ll pray for it.”

That does the trick. Dieter’s lips curl back in a snarl as he rears up to his knees, wings spreading to fill the room with only him. Hands gripping your hips, he looks down at you not like a lover, but like a fallen god.

“Then do it, starlet,” he challenges. His smile is cool, but his cock twitches in your cunt. You have him.

“Glory be to you, Dieter,” you say, and hellfire light erupts around him. Dragging himself out of your cunt, he holds tight as a bowstring.

“And to your…fucking massive cock,” you continue, eyes rolling back as he fills you to the brim. “And to your true form, in all its beauty,” you add, softer now, drawing his eyes back up to you. Time hangs as he studies your face before dipping down and sealing your lips with a kiss that means too much for words. When he lifts away you finish the prayer.

“As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be.”

Dieter’s smile glints.

“A-fucking-men,” he rasps, giving you just enough time to press your hands against the headboard before he starts railing you.

You’re lost in pleasure and ache and sin and Dieter pounding recklessly into your cunt. His grip paints bruises along your waist, battering thighs marking the inside of your hips. His claws dig into your flesh and sharp scrapes tighten your nipples. Hands roam up over your breasts, around your neck, pressing your wrists into the bed as ominous splintering and cracks echo in your ears.

“Another before I cum on your tits, sweetheart,” he pants, spitting down onto your clit and circling it with vigor. You cry out, hips bucking as the thickness of his cock impedes on your quivering walls. “It’s so close baby, just cum around me. Let me feel you cum on all my cock this time.”

“I can’t,” you cry out, shaking and sobbing around him. Dieter tuts, his rapidly increasing slap-slap-slap of thrusts maddening.

“You can, and you will starlet. You didn’t think you’d take my cock. I didn’t think you’d take it, and look at you now. So you’re going to cum. You’re going to cum now.”

The order shakes the room, pictures rattling on the wall as a final flick hurtles you off into oblivion with Dieter’s roaring triumph right behind. He’s somehow still fucking his cock into you even though you’re so tight it almost hurts to be cumming so good. A final crackling roar and you’re achingly empty, followed by a hot splash of cum across your stomach. Then another cresting your breast, and more and more until you’re covered in it, sticky trails sliding to pool in your bellybutton and drip over your sides onto the covers. Dieter is gasping above you, glowing like a sacred artifact as he pumps the last drops from his cock.

You close your eyes once and it’s a mistake. As soon as you let your eyelids touch exhaustion grips you, fighting your desperate attempts to reopen them. It’s battling this bone-deep tired when you experience Dieter’s return to a human form. The horns receding, tattoos fading to just the ones that grace tabloid pages. The wings fold away, and soon a sexy as hell rumpled and soft body replaces the supernatural one.

“Wore you out, starlet?” Dieter Bravo asks, kneeling between your parted knees with a rakish smile. You try to return it with a nod but your whole body is heavy, the mess barely bothering you. Dieter hums thoughtfully, and in a few moments a warm washcloth is cleaning up his cum.

“Side effect of my influence, helps a lot in the moment but it’s got some pretty strong sedative properties. Good for a speedy exit.” His chuckle sounds faraway now, even as you try to clutch at it.

“Stay,” you manage to croak out, hands seeking his body. You find his hair again, nose buried in your sex as he licks softly at your folds. The building ache there creeps back down to something dull and manageable.

“Our contract is up, can’t stay once you’ve given me what I’m owed.” Dieter’s lips start leaving small kisses along your abdomen, fingers soothing your skin. “Even if it was very, very good.”

“Please,” you try again, racking your rapidly puttying mind for anything to keep his hands on you.

“Even when you say it so sweetly,” Dieter says, but there’s melancholy now. It glances off your fingertips as sleep pulls you under.

In the between world of dreams, you think he says something more to you, but Morpheus snatches it away.

Hail, starlet, full of grace, Dieter is with thee.

This might be the silliest thing I’ve ever…well, hmm…

Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, all those delectable orgasms you gave me.

Holy starlet, bringer of…something special.

Pray for this sinner.

There’s blood on your sheets when you wake, though less than you expected. There’s also less pain, though the ache takes your breath away when you sit up too fast. Hobbling to the bathroom with the cool pink of morning light guiding, you inspect your body in the mirror.

You don’t look much different than before. Some strange notion of losing your virginity making you suddenly appear “mature” is dashed away. Maybe there’s a little glint of a secret in your eye, but not much more. Actually, surprisingly not much more. You expected bruises, scratches along your body and love bites marring your landscape. Instead your canvas is unblemished, no marks or injuries to hide. It’s almost as if he’d never been there.

Sitting down on the toilet, you wonder if maybe he wasn’t. That you dreamt up debauchery due to food poisoning or someone spiking the punch at the Halloween party. You couldn’t possibly have summoned an incubus.

A dark mark inside your thigh catches your attention, and any doubts dissipate. A ring of teeth, four larger fangs prominent, marrs the inside of your thigh. Brushing your fingertips over the circle, the skittering thrill of those memories settle in your chest.

You ride on the endorphins for a few days, a handful of people noticing. A work friend tries to interrogate you on it but “a lady never tells” is a saucy enough reply for her to give an approving look. You buy a new bed online, the base of yours splintered to ruin, but you keep the cracked headboard like a souvenir.

Online dating doesn’t seem as daunting now that you’re not so worried about the dreaded “first time.” You even accept a few dates, meet some generally nice men with generally boring personalities. They don’t make your heart race like a certain celebrity whose name you googled briefly before slamming your laptop shut. They certainly don’t kiss like him, or make sexy little jokes or terrify you as much as intrigue you.

So for a while you try to move on. There’s no other option, right? Dieter Bravo the Movie Star would never give you a second thought. Dieter Bravo the Incubus surely has better things to do, more lascivious living. So you try to find something even remotely like what you felt that night.

It’s mid-November when you find yourself sitting on your living room floor again, piece of chalk in hand. You lit candles this time, bought black lace lingerie, made yourself up to feel pretty. It doesn’t help your shaking hands as you pull the rug off the summoning circle. Touching up a few spots, you settle by the broken line where you released Dieter. It all popped off when you completed the circle last time, so with a deep breath and a swipe of the chalk, you reconnect the chalk.

And you wait.

And wait.

A bulb in a lamp flickers but it’s brief. An errant breeze almost snuffs out a candle. But nothing happens. Your knees are sore, eyes watering but you blink the tears away.

It was a long shot, you have to admit. A fluke chance, never to be repeated. You’ll have to settle for something bland, safe, loving but…

Nothing like Dieter.

You’re about to get up from the floor when one other idea tempts you. Something you thought he might have said before leaving you ruined.

Pray for this sinner.

Clasping your hands in your lap, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

It’s been a long time since you last prayed.

“Dieter…” you whisper. The fine hairs on your neck rise up, but you press on.

“Dieter, I pray to thee,” you continue, closing your eyes. “Come to me in my hour of need.”

A pause, then a final entreaty. “Please.”

A rumble creeps into your body, tiny puffs of candles snuffing out reaching your ears. You dare not open your eyes yet, too hopeful for disappointment. Instead you wait, and hope.

A hot hand, thick fingered and human, slides up your chest, over your throat and cups your chin. Relief floods your body, melting back against a solid chest and chuckling lips.

“Hello, starlet,” Dieter croons in your ear, wrapping his arm around your waist and tucking his head into the crook of your neck. Your fingers search for curls, burying in his hair as you lace your fingers with his.

“You came,” you breathe, sparks igniting on your skin as he presses a line of kisses from your shoulder to your ear.

“How could I not, when you prayed so sweetly?” he teases, tugging you back to sit in the cradle of his crossed legs. “Smart of you to try the circle, but outside of all hallow’s eve you don’t have access to enough power for that trick.”

“But you came,” you repeat, turning your face into Dieter’s ministrations. He nips at the side of your jaw, soothing it with his lips before murmuring a confession into your skin.

“I hoped you would call again.”

A thick emotion swells in your chest, and you spin in his grasp to crash your mouths together. The momentum knocks him backwards to the floor, letting you straddle his waist and feast on his ample lips. His hands roam your back, reverent in their paths. When you break to suck in lungfuls of sweet air he leans up to mouth at your neck, possessive hand on your ass urging you to grind against him.

“Have you let anyone else fuck you?” he growls. To your delight the anxiety and trepidation that colored your first encounter is nowhere in sight. You smile wolfishly down at him.

“How could I? You’ve ruined me for any man,” you tease, and under your body he writhes, the whites of his eyes trading for inky black. “Plus, one time is hardly enough to know if I even like sex. I’ve barely begun to explore.”

The fangs flash between his kiss-swollen lips, and under the promise of any delight you desire you glimpse the even more exciting fondness that will draw you back to him again and again.

“Then we have a lot of work to do.”

END

Crawlin' back to you Ever thought of callin' when You've had a few? 'Cause I always do Maybe I'm too Busy bein' yours To fall for somebody new Now, I've thought it through

The Arctic Monkeys, "Do I Wanna Know?"

#dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo fanfiction #incubus!Dieter #virgin reader #prolix fics

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robynrocksforbrains · 8 months

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Mike Wheeler is important and there's nothing wrong with analyzing him

Since y'all wanna be insufferable bitches about it I'm gonna explain to you why he's important, why Will loves him, why his struggles should be acknowledged, and why his character depth is pivotal to byler endgame being a satisfying conclusion for both Mike AND Will. Deal with it!

We are not seeing smoke where there isn't a flame. We are seeing smoke where there is a literal fucking forest fire.

Starting off with something a lot of people aren't ready for but I've seen more people talking about: Mike is the main character of s1 at the very least. He is the character that brings us into the world of stranger things. He is the character that the writers chose for this. Mike is the main character of s1 and it was an instant hit. The writers love Mike. Contrary to popular belief, giving a character an arc where they are struggling and their behavior changes from what is normal for the character we know and love does NOT mean the writers hate that character. It means they deliberately chose to give that character complexity and depth. Your inability to like characters that do anything wrong ever is not the fault of the writers. Your decision to act as if a character is not important is not reflective of the actual narrative because it in fact is in direct opposition to the narrative. So just to be clear, if you genuinely believe that Mike isn't important, or that the writers hate him, or don't care about him, or that his story "takes away" from any other character's - ESPECIALLY WILL'S - you are simply wrong.

In s1 and s2 Mike is established as an extremely caring person. He's loving, loyal, brave, intelligent, and trying his best. He is also established to be hot headed, someone who speaks without thinking quite often, someone who is capable of hurting his friends despite that being the last thing he wants to do. He is all of these things and more. He is a human. He is a kid. So in s3, when suddenly he is entirely different, it is completely logical to assume that there is a reason for that. He did not just wake up one day and decide he wanted to be an asshole, push Will away, make his friends feel abandoned, and echo the same sentiments their bullies held. Something is happening with him. He has so much going on in his head and it is painfully obvious. He's holding something in, he's hiding from everyone and from himself. We see glimpses of what he's trying to hide after Will calls him out on his behavior. Will gets through to him. Mike is usually unresponsive to tough love, except for when it's coming from Will. After their fight, it is obvious that he's trying to be better. But he still doesn't wanna face certain things, and he doesn't know how to navigate that. Because he's 13 years old.

There is a reason for all of that internal conflict. There is a reason it comes pouring out of him at certain times. He's crumbling. He is quite literally falling apart because he's holding on to too much. It's not a stretch to assume that, it just takes basic media literacy. Why would the writers have Mike act this way if he was just supposed to be a one dimensional character? Why would Finn be directed to portray Mike the way he does if there was nothing more going on? There are times where Mike looks like he's in physical pain because of his internal conflict. There is a reason for that. And acknowledging that DOES NOT mean people are taking away from Will. That's the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Do y'all seriously not understand that more than one character can have emotionally complex storylines? Genuinely asking, is this a new concept for you?

Will's love for Mike

Will is head over heels in love with Mike. That is very much established. So when you're dismissing the emotional depth of Mike's individual arc because you think acknowledging it "takes away from Will" you are actually diminishing the significance of a huge aspect of Will's emotional arc. By taking away the significance of Mike, you take away from the significance of Will.

Let's do a quick recap of the very significant role Mike has played in Will's entire life:

Mike is Will's first friend.

They have grown up together and it can be assumed that they've reached important milestones together.

Mike has always been a safe person for Will. He's been a constant in Will's very chaotic and unfair life. Until the summer of '85, Mike had always been something good in Will's life. (That's not to say he is no longer something good, but it can be assumed that the summer of '85 is the first time Mike has been a causal factor in Will's unhappiness)

When Will went missing, Mike did not hesitate to search for him. It wasn't even a question of if. The moment he knew Will was missing he knew exactly what he'd be doing that night. He spearheaded the search amongst the party. He was the leader.

When Will came back, Mike was the only person that didn't treat him like he was gonna break. He cared for him, and he was there for him, but he didn't treat him differently; Will tells us as much. Which means we can infer that the way Mike was with Will in s2 - how gentle and loving he was - was nothing new. He had just always been like that.

When Will was possessed, Mike stayed by his side. Even when it was scary, even when it could've gotten him killed, he stayed. Because once again, for him, it wasn't even a question. That's just where he knew he needed to be. He was in the shed when they were trying to get through to Will. He was set apart from Lucas and Dustin, but he also wasn't equated to family. And his retelling of the story of the day they first met was the final push Will needed to find a way to communicate.

After a year of things being "weird" between them, Mike tells Will that he didn't deserve to be treated the way he had been. Mike tells him that he wants them to be okay again, and for the rest of the season he puts in the work.

Things get rough in s3, and at the beginning of s4, and despite all of that, Will confesses his love (albeit veiled). In a moment where Mike is feeling awful about himself, he tells him that he loves him and needs him, and he tells him why. And to him it doesn't matter that he's breaking his own heart to do it, because it's Mike. Mike, who makes him feel like he's not a mistake at all, and that he's better for being different. For Will, there was no other option. The person he loves was hurting and he knew how to help, and so he did.

Mike is the first person Will tells about Vecna still being alive. Because they're back to being a team. He knows he can trust Mike, and Mike seems to be very determined to prove him right.

SO.

These are all real and canon aspects of Mike's presence in Will's life. Will falling in love with Mike isn't something that just happened for no reason. Will fell in love with Mike because of who Mike is. When you acknowledge that, and when you acknowledge the reasons they've set out for why Will loves him - the reasons Will literally told us - you can better understand Will. But when you dismiss all of these things about Mike, you are dismissing a large portion of Will's emotional and romantic arc. You aren't being a Will Warrior. You are erasing so much of him and his feelings and his lived experience. That is not the hill you wanna die on.

Will loves a person. Not a feeling. Yes, he says that Mike makes him feel like he's not a mistake and that he's better for being different. But that's not why he loves him. He feels that way because he loves him.

Mike is a fully fleshed out character with his own feelings and struggles and fears and traumas and motivations. He's not a plot device. He's not just an accessory to Will's arc. He's not a character that was written only to be Will's love interest. He's Will's love interest because he's Mike.

If Mike didn't matter, and if Mike didn't play a significant role in byler, then they would be able to write in a love interest for Will in s5 and have it be somewhat satisfying. But they can't do that. Will's love for Mike has so much depth because Mike has so much depth. It is genuinely crazy that this has to be stated and that I have to back up this claim because it is simply a canon fact.

So yes, the rain fight affects Mike's character development and his involvement in it is important. Yes, the van scene literally could not exist without Mike and therefore his involvement in it is incredibly important. Yes, every single byler moment has an impact on Mike, and Mike has an impact on it because they are BYLER moments. Yes, Mike will have a lot of significant moments - with Will AND on his own - in s5 because his arc deserves and needs as much attention as Will's in order to execute byler endgame in a satisfying way.

No, none of these facts negate Will's importance or take away from his story. If anything, they add to it because Mike and Will's arcs are corresponding and intertwined.

Mike's struggles

To name a few

Dysfunctional family

Has been bullied his entire life

Extreme self worth issues

Inferiority complex

Hero complex

Lack of self preservation

Suicidal ideation (has been on display since SEASON ONE)

Internalized homophobia

To get this out of the way: Mike's internalized homophobia is allowed to be discussed. Discussion of it is not the dismissal of Will's internalized homophobia. Surprise surprise, two queer kids in the 80s have internalized homophobia! Who'd'a thunk it?! Their internalized homophobia presents in different ways but it is there for both of them. I personally relate to the way Mike's is portrayed way more than I relate to Will's. So why is it that we can't discuss it without being accused of erasing Will's experience? Or without people saying that we're "copy and pasting" Will's story? Because quite frankly, that feels dismissive of my - and likely many others' - real and lived experience. So please for the love of all things that are good just stop with this talking point because it will never hold up.

Moving on

I'm not gonna do a full breakdown of all of Mike's issues. Because contrary to popular belief, there are a lot. And that would be exhausting and I'd get carried away and it's not the point of this post. The point of this post is to defend the acknowledgement and mere existence of them.

If you're a byler that for some reason thinks Mike only exists to be Will's love interest and his trophy as compensation for his trauma, let me ask you this: Have you considered how awful it would be to have a queer character's individuality and emotional depth completely ignored for the sake of focusing on the queer character that "really matters"?

If Mike's own issues, with his queer identity and otherwise, aren't thoroughly explored... What's the point of all this? If Mike really is insignificant in this storyline and his individuality has no effect on it.. where's the emotional payoff? If his perspective doesn't matter... Why have the writers gone to such great lengths to ensure we don't have that piece of the puzzle yet?

Analyzing Mike and understanding Mike is very important to understanding byler. Once again, I think it's crazy that this needs to be said.

I also think it's important to note that characters can have similar struggles. There's no rule against that. Just like real life. Characters having similar struggles is not a bad thing, and acknowledging that their struggles are similar is not dismissive of either character. We're talking about STRANGER THINGS. Jonathan and Nancy's thing is "we've got shared trauma". They have literal matching scars. Shared experiences are some of the main building blocks for this show's romances. Byler has a TON of shared experience, basically their entire lives. We already know that. So wouldn't it be so beautiful for them to learn that they've been struggling with the same thing this whole time? That the entire time they felt alone in what they were going through when really they had each other and they never even knew it? Wouldn't it be so beautiful for Mike's acceptance of Will and Will's love for him was also a step toward accepting himself? Wouldn't it be beautiful for Will to learn that his love makes Mike feel like he's not a mistake? None of that would be in the realm of possibility if Mike didn't have emotional depth and if his individuality wasn't important.

And that leads me to my concluding point...

A satisfying execution of byler endgame hinges on Mike's individual emotional arc being handled well

God I hope this isn't controversial to say. I sincerely hope most people haven't forgotten that.

Here's a hypothetical:

Imagine season five has been released. You're watching it, and you notice that Mike has been relegated to just a supporting character for Will. We don't get any of his perspective. We don't get any explanation for his s3 and early s4 behavior. His breakup with El doesn't have any real tangible effect on him, it's really just used for El's character development. We never see him pining for Will like we saw Will pining for him. And then suddenly Mike is learning about the painting and then suddenly he's confessing his love and then suddenly byler is canon and official.

Now wouldn't that just be awful? Wouldn't that be unfair to the audience, to Mike, and to Will? For us to never learn just how much Mike had to go through to even be able to say it out loud? For Mike to never get the chance to prove to himself through word and action that he is the heart? For Will to never get an explanation for why things did get so "weird" between them? It would leave us with one big, nagging question: What was the point of everything Mike has said and done throughout the entire show if his conclusion is that lackluster?

Disregarding Mike for a moment (I know that's incredibly ironic given what the entire point of this is but just bear with me) - how would that be a satisfying conclusion for Will? I mean, Will's s4 arc was basically dedicated to showcasing his struggle with his sexuality and with his love for Mike. We were shown just how deep that love is. We were shown how patient, unselfish, unwavering, and beautiful that love is. So how would it be satisfying for Mike's love for him to not be shown with just as much depth? How would it be satisfying for Mike to just be a one dimensional character whose s5 arc is essentially "break up with girlfriend, wait to find out best friend is in love with him, say he loves him back, then they live happily ever after"? I think Will deserves for his love to be returned with the same intensity at which he gives it. And I think it should be clear to the audience and to Will himself.

Back to Mike!

Mike has been through so much shit. I don't think anyone that is denying that actually believes he hasn't been through shit. Because you'd actually have to watch the show on mute and with your eyes closed to think this kid hasn't had just the worst time. It's so ignorant to act as if this stuff hasn't affected him. There's stuff we've seen but there's stuff we also haven't seen. There are issues he has that date back to his childhood pre-canon. Just like Will, Mike has been a queer kid growing up in 80s smalltown conservative america. Acknowledging the pain he 100% carries because of that is so important. His perspective has been withheld from us, not because it's unimportant, but because it's the final puzzle piece. If we had Mike's perspective in s4, byler wouldn't be a "will they won't they" (even though we all know they will). If we got his perspective in s4, byler would be a "100% certain without a doubt they will". But the thing about his perspective is that it's so much more than just loving Will. It's fear. It's pain. It's insecurity. It's doubt. It's the belief that his happiness just doesn't matter all that much. All of that has to be explored. All of that has to be laid out in the open for us in order for byler endgame to feel earned. Mike's emotional payoff will lead to byler's emotional payoff.

Mike has known he loves Will. In s5 we will see him make a deliberate and active effort to overcome the things keeping him from doing something about it. And then he will do something about it.

And so when it finally happens. When both Mike and Will finally know that their feelings are requited, and when their arcs end with us knowing that they will face whatever life has in store for them together, that will feel earned. That will feel like the logical conclusion for both of them. Not just for Mike. Not just for Will. For both.

And Mike is just as important to that conclusion as Will is.

And one last thing...

Some people are going to talk about Mike more. Some people are going to talk about Will more. Because newsflash, people have preferences. Some people just relate to Mike more, or they find his emotional arc extremely compelling, or they just like him. It isn't an attack on Will or any other character. No one is saying Mike is more important than any other character (I'm sure there are people that say that but they are a vocal minority and they are simply wrong). We are just saying that he is important. If you wanna engage in media analysis, please understand that "main character" or "central character" does not mean "only important character" and "only character that should be analyzed". If you wanna talk about Will and only Will, that's fine. But you don't get to act like people that talk about other characters are doing a disservice to your fave, because that's not how any of this works.

#mike defenders i need you to back me up on this #i hope my points come across well #anyway #the way people have been talking about mike lately is so infuriating #its called BYLER analysis because its the analysis of BYLER the ship involving will AND mike #st fandom consistently proving that they have absolutely no idea how fandom works #its almost like people wanna talk about things they care about and you dont get to tell them to shut up #if you dont wanna see people talking about mike you can just mute tags about him #but if you dont wanna talk about mike youre missing a huge part of the byler puzzle and thats your loss #please just let people discuss whatever they want to discuss as long as its not ACTUALLY harmful #sometimes i think y'all are allergic to fun #byler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler analysis #will byers #< this is about him too #byler analysis #byler endgame #stranger things

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idlestxrs · 7 months

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Alone in winter | Geto Suguru x gn!reader

Summary: After Geto's spiral into madness, Gojo began to grow more cold towards you every passing hour. Your once happy trio is beginning to feel more and more like...just yourself. That is until one snowy evening, a familiar face lights a fire in your heart you never realized you had before. Genre: friends to lovers, angst to mild fluff Notes: Inspired by (G)I-DLE's song "Hann (Alone in winter)"

"Satoru?" You looked up at him as he stared off into the night, sitting on the balcony of the apartment you both shared. He simply turned to look at you, not making a sound. "I'm glad you're still here with me." You spoke softly to him. The only sounds that could be heard were that of the cold wind of the winter blowing softly in the night. He nodded his head at your comment and went back to spacing out. Ever since Suguru had gone off the deep end, nothing had been the same. Especially not with Satoru Gojo. He mentally blamed you for not being able to save Geto from himself, however deep inside Gojo knew you he was more guilty than you ever would be. He had been the one to lash out at Geto after getting frustrated with him. You'd always pull Geto aside to comfort him when his mind became troubled and actually listened to him, as opposed to Gojo's one track mind of trying to get him back on track to becoming the strongest sorcerers in history. Gojo wanted to say you enabled Geto's thoughts by consoling him when they'd get bad, but in reality Gojo was just bitter he hadn't been as good of a friend to him before he eventually spiraled the same way you had. Now he was pushing you away too. He'd rather forget about Geto all together and carry on, and you were a constant reminder of the missing piece of what used to be a perfect trio. Three best friends, all broken in one way or another by a world that failed them all. The colder Gojo got, the closer you felt like wanting to run away too in hopes of finding Geto. If you did find him, would he kill you? You really didn't care. Everything around you felt like it was crumbling into into pieces. Gojo was going to lose you too if he didn't get his act together, but you never had the nerve to say anything to him. His coldness only made it harder to speak with him, someone you use to be able to tell anything. "I mean it Satoru. I'm really happy we still have each other." You repeated yourself hoping for more of a response, but he still continued to ignore you. You got up from your seat next to him and went inside. You stormed into your room and grabbed your phone before grabbing some shoes and a jacket to go outside. Sure it was late at night, and cold, but you didn't really care anymore. Staring at the stars while walking, you noticed how some twinkled brighter than others. It reminded you of yourself. You used to be one of those brighter stars, but you knew your light was beginning to fade. The cold metal bench Gojo, Geto and yourself used to sit on seemed to taunt you as you sat down on it, reminding you even more of why you were hurting so much. The bone chilling feeling didn't only come from the temperature, but from the memories that were flooding back so rapidly. Good and bad. A doleful feeling washed over you and you thought back to the day you remembered all too well. The day you witnessed Geto break. You brought your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around your legs, resting your head on them as you sat on the bench and cried. The wind whistled as snow began to fall from the ground. You didn't care if it was cold outside. You were used to it. Closing your eyes, you pictured a time when you were happier in your head as the chilling wind blew your hair around. Suddenly, footsteps began to approach the bench and you felt that someone had sat down next to you. As you opened your eyes, you almost couldn't believe them. Did you just fall too far into a daydream or what?

"Long time no see, Y/N." The man spoke. His voice was a bit raspy from the cold, but his dark eyes and long black hair were unmistakable. "Is it really you?" A desperate tone echoed through your words. "Would I be sitting next to you so closely if it wasn't?" Geto chuckled. His voice sounded like pure honey. You stood up off the bench and he did the same. He pulled you into a hug. "What are you doing out here all alone?" He lowered his voice. He was still on the run after all and he would never risk getting you put in harms way. Ever since he left Jujutsu society a year ago and became who he was now, he never showed up much. There were times you swore you saw him in public, but this was the first time actually seeing him. You cried into his arms. Everything had been so hard without him. You hated him for what he'd done, but it was merely a hate for his actions. You could never hate him. As you both pulled away from the hug, Geto sat back down on the bench and gave you a warm, inviting smile. You laid down on the bench so that your head was in his lap. He looked down at you and you looked up at him, both smiling at each other. After talking to each other for hours about life on the bench, catching up with one another, he noticed the feint light of the sun. "Want me to walk you home?" He offered. He knew the dangers that would follow if he was spotted, but he didn't care. He'd die for you if he had to. Overtime he realized the feelings he had for you too, yet neither of you had mentioned them yet. "No." You spoke with a smile on your face. "You can take me anywhere, just not home." Your words threw him for a loop. "What exactly do you mean, Y/N?" He thought he knew what you meant, but he had to make sure he wasn't assuming things. "I want to go with you." You said bluntly. Selfishly he wanted to tell you to come along, but he knew for your safety it wasn't a good idea. "As much as I'd love that, you can't. The higher-ups will start hunting you down if they catch wind you ran off with me. I can't let you put yourself in harms way for me." He hugged you tightly and a tear fell down his cheek. He didn't want to let you go, but he had to. "I don't care. I can protect myself, and you. Just like I know you can protect yourself, and me." He heard the determination in your voice. It sounded to him like you had already made this decision a long time ago. You were just waiting to find him again. "But what about Satoru?" He posed another question he thought would challenge you. Instead, it pushed a button he had no idea was there. "I don't care about him anymore. I tried to be there for him but he ignored me. He doesn't care about me either. Trust me. I did my best, but it wasn't enough for him. Ever." You snapped. Geto looked shocked, but ultimately, tried to be understanding. "Well. There's no talking you out of this, huh?" He chuckled. "Then come on. Let's get going before the sun comes up." He placed a kiss on your cheek and gave you another quick hug before leading the way. He was looking forward to living with you.

#jujutsu kasien #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #suguru x reader #suguru fluff #geto fluff #friends to lovers #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #geto suguru #satoru angst #gojo angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #suguru geto x y/n #suguru geto x you #jujutsu kaisen x you

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stuffeddeer · 9 months

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small insinuation of self harm

Dazai realizing he loves his s/o, telling them, and then wanting to tell the world ! He's very dramatic, so he repeats it religiously at the agency - a mantra that follows him everywhere :))

Until afterwards when he's alone in his apartment, heart beating out of his chest and feeling especially anxious. What's wrong with him? He didn't do anything differently today than he normally does...

He thinks hard as to what might be causing this, when the door opens and you step in. Oh, he's anxious about you.

But why? He loves you! He's quick to say it as you close and lock his door, and the feeling suddenly returns.

Oh.

He feels a sudden urge to break up with you, loosen contact, drive you away - Does he love you? He didn't want to tell anyone else (he did, he regrets it now). What happens if he falls out of love? Why did he do that? His chest just keeps squeezing, keeps constricting — feeling almost as though he was drowning in his thoughts. A moment of reprieve is granted only by the gentle placement of your hand over his heart.

"Are you alright?"

A few deep breaths and Dazai's heart rate is back in his control. Yes, he loves you, he thinks. But saying it is too scary.

Dazai just looks at you, a war tearing between his brain and his heart, unable to decide how to feel. His brain wants him to vanish: pack up and leave you forever so he doesn't have to deal with this vulnerability. His heart, however, wants to pull you closer. Never leave you, never let you out of his sight, always keep you within six feet of him to protect and love— and like you.

You pull his head onto your chest, cradling it in one hand as the other cards through his hair. "You can tell me anything, you know."

Dazai knows. But telling you he's not actually sure he loves you after his huge breakthrough what was merely the night before feels cruel.

It took a lot for him to open up and admit that, and he's not sure he can open up and admit that he regrets it. He should leave you - you deserve someone better, someone who can shout from the rooftops that you're theirs. But selfishly, he wants to hold you close and let you sooth him.

Seeing him still so torn, not moving as you hold him, causes a frown to come onto your face. All you want is for him to be happy and healthy and loved, and you'd thought you had a 66.67% success rate (you're working on the health thing). Like Dazai had moments prior, you wrack your brain for a change, and quickly land the same place he did: his love for you.

You smile softly, maybe a little sadly, and pull him closer until he's sitting on your lap. "Osamu," you press a kiss to the crown of his head.

He says nothing, just staring blankly. This is the hardest he's ever had to work to keep his heart in check, to stop the frantic beating. Is it hot in here? Should he take off his coat? Why can't he tell everyone he loves his partner? He does love them, he does.

How are you supposed to approach this? If you say you don't have to love me, he could go on the defensive. You just want him to relax. "I'd never force you to do something against your best interest."

Dazai meekly nods. Of course not. You always focus on him and his needs, emotionally and physically. You pack him lunches so he doesn't skip it at work and force him to eat dinners with you most nights. He just now notices the plastic takeout bag on the table - you must have brought that in when you first arrived. You want what's best for him, and he loves you for that! Doesn't he? Does he?

"I don't want you to force yourself into doing anything— saying anything you aren't ready for yet."

Dazai shuts his eyes tightly. Of course you figured it out. Feeling anxious, his heart beats desperately as he relinquishes control, not caring if you notice. Several soft apologies begin to fall from his lips quicker than you can stop them. The turmoil of this is eating him alive, and he hates it. Is running still an option? Does he even want to? The only thing keeping him from opening up new scars tonight is the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He's not sure if he'd leave even if you made him.

Fuck, but staying is so hard. His hands move up to tightly grip the fabric of your shirt, bunching it up between his fingers in hopes to ground himself.

You say nothing, allowing Dazai time to collect himself. Minutes pass, the food you brought likely cold now as Dazai just breathes in your embrace. A small growl from your stomach pulls him from his head finally, a small smile on his face as he looks up, seeing an embarrassed blush decorating your cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry!" Suddenly you're burying your head in Dazai's chest, seeking solace from your embarrassment. You trust him, love him enough to let him comfort you, just as he does you. A groan comes out of your mouth as your hands cover your face.

Dazai chuckles, pulling your head up before gently removing the hands covering your face. Your shoulders fall as Dazai's smile makes you relax. Whatever's bothering him won't go away over night, but you'll always be there to help.

"Come on, let's go eat," Dazai says, voice much calmer than it is when he's loudly boasting about his s/o at the agency. You don't mind. You like this version of Dazai all the same.

He loves you, he's sure of it. He just needs some time to properly accept it before yelling it from the rooftops - and you're more than happy to give him that time.

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c-m-stuff · 10 months

Text

Meltdown

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

-Description: You and Spencer are together. When Spencer experienced a meltdown, you are there for him.

-Warnings: Angst, fluffiness, meltdown, Autism Spectrum Disorder (Spencer)

-Word count: 992

-Note: (Repost from Wattpad!) This is a somewhat more heavier subject, and I hope, everyone has respect for each other. Everyone experience this different, and hopefully, you are all okay. I'm always here to talk! <3

Masterlist

Spencer's POV:

I would've been fine.

I would've been fine, with the sudden change of plans, that sent the team here in the first place. I would've been fine, forcing myself making eye contact with the officers during the briefing. I would've been fine, with the stranger occupying the space where Emily should be.

Really, I would've been fine.

But then, someone bumped into me in the local police station.

Normally, I have no problems with physical contact. But, I needed to know it was coming, and I needed to trust the person.

This stranger bumping into me, while I was already on edge, only made things worse. Far worse.

'I'm sorry.' the stranger apologized, because that's what you do when you accidentally bump into each other. You both say sorry, and move on with your lives.

I wanted to say sorry back, I really do, but I just couldn't. I froze for a moment, as I tried to speak, failing miserably. The man gave me a look, and walked away.

Suddenly, I was very aware of the coffee smell, that was hanging in the station. The fluorescence lights, were suddenly brighter, and the complete stranger, who just bumped into me, hadn't showered today. I could hear people chat, but couldn't make any word out of it.

I felt the tears sting, and knew, that I was on the very edge of having a meltdown. Not here. Not now. I wished, that I was home, alone, and could fall apart there. I needed privacy. I started to pace quickly to the single-user restroom, hoping no one would notice. When I made it into the restroom, I was quick with locking the door and turning the light off.

I broke down.

__________________________

Y/N POV:

I saw what happened. I saw, Spencer bumping into a stranger. I saw, his world changing, because of too many stimuli. I saw, him on the very edge of tears, of having a meltdown. And, I saw, him running towards the restroom.

Spencer, having a meltdown, never happened before. It happens rarely, and I never seen it happen. But, I knew what the symptoms are. When he told me, he was Autistic, I asked questions or search for information on the internet. I wanted to know as many things as possible, in order to help him. To understand him.

Now, I was fully able to keep my promises.

I rushed after him, and knocked gently on the door.

'Spence, it's me. I know what is happening, and I want to help you. Please let me in, I'm alone.'

That last word was the most important. I was alone. He didn't needed attention on him, especially not now.

After a few seconds, the door unlocked. I went in, and immediately locked it after me. There he was. His body, shaking, tears streaming down his face, as he bites his lip, in an attempt to sob as quiet as possible.

The most important thing to do was, stay calm. The least thing he needed, was more worrying. Since, this is the first time I experience this, and it's different with everyone, I wasn't sure if he needed a comforting hug, or that the physical contact only made things worse. So, I decided to just open up my arms, letting him decide.

'You don't need to hug me. Do what's best for you.'

He doubted it. But, made quick the decision, to crash into my arms. I hugged him. I wanted to hug him tightly, but I knew that he needed all the control. He needed to know, that he could pull back, at any given moment. He needed completely control.

I rubbed softly his back, as the tears were still streaming, uncontrollably.

'I am so proud of you, love. You're doing so good. Everything is going to be okey. Just let it all out.' I spoke, softly, hoping it would help.

Eventually, his tears lessened, then stopped, as we were now in comfortable silence. He pulled slightly away, and turned the light back on. Without saying anything, he went to the mirror. The tear traces were mostly gone, but his eyes were still a little puffy and red. He splashed some water in his face, making his eyes a bit better.

'Repitive thinking is a death mill for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key.' he spoke out a random fact, most likely wanted to make sure he could talk again.

Then, Spencer turned around, looking at me.

'Thank you so much, (Y/N). You don't know how much you helped me.' I could see the appreciation on his face, making me smile.

'I'm really glad, I could help.' he walked towards me, and wrapped me into a sweet hug.

'Normally, I would have been fine, but then there was this stranger, bumping into me, and-'

'It's okay, love. I understand, everything is okey now.' I hated to cut him off, but it seemed like the best option. He began to get nervous again, and the last thing I wanted, was to make him relive the moment.

'Are you okay?' I asked him, as we pulled apart again.

'Yes, much better now.'

'Good, and remember, I'm always here for you.'

'Thank you. Really, thank you for helping me.'

'No problem, genius. Are you ready to get back?'

'Yeah.'

'You sure?' I asked again, wanting to make sure he's ready. He nodded his head, as I was about to unlock the door.

'Love?'

'Yes?' I turned around, facing him.

'Im here for you too. Always.'

__________________________

#criminal minds #cm #fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid x fem!reader #fluff imagine #angst imagine #autism #autistic spencer reid #meltdown

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fettuccin-e · 2 years

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Matt Murdock Fic Recs

I adore Matthew Murdock, and there are so many talented Matt writers out there I needed to keep a list of my faves in the whole world. (PLS give these authors a ton of love!! Comment and reblog dear people!!) also if u are on this list and would like to be removed, let me know!!!

You Oughta Know by @pedrito-friskito

>> A College!Matt fic about confessing your feelings to him for the first time (I literally love college!matt sm he is my babygirl and also i love mutual pining)

Call Out My Name by @leossmoonn

>> Matt catches you in a *private* moment alone, moaning his name. He can't help but make his presence known. (I love the caught masturbating trope, in any scenario. also,, omg they were ROOMMATES)

Temptation by @yourbucky084

>> You and Matt have been dancing around your feelings for far too long. A hotel mishap just might be your breaking point. (okay,, PLS read this omg,, i mean, mutual pining, only one bed, SMUT?? what more could u want tbh)

Treacherous by @peterman-spideyparker

>> You weren't supposed to fall in love with Matt. That's the whole point of "friends with benefits". But when Matt suddenly finds someone new, you can't seem to choke down your feelings anymore. (BIG ANGST, BIG COMFORT, BIG HAPPY ENDING!! pls i love hurt/comfort, especially with college matt)

Studying by @chxrrysangel

>> It's supposed to be the last time you're tutoring Matt, but you can't bear the thought of being apart from him. Matt can't seem to let you go, either. (omg virgin matthew holy fuck im FERAL)

To Hear a Heartbeat by @maroonmusings

>> Matt's been trying so hard to cope with losing you after the blip, but he's barely hanging on. He struggles though every day, until he suddenly hears your familiar heartbeat again. (UGH THE ANGST?? the relief is literally palpable in this i love it)

Rain by @itwasthereaminuteago

>> When it's raining like it is, Matt can't just let you walk home after your date. Maybe you both could heat each other up. (my summary is so cheesy lol but this is so well-written i am just ashdbakfljkd)

Too Much Ain't Enough Love by @marvelswh0re

>> You've teased Matt just a little too much and left him wanting. He thinks you deserve a little punishment for being so bad. (SMUT. GOOD SMUT. my slutty brain can't take this omg)

Aere Perennius by @saintmurd0ck

>> Matt murdock’s love for you can only be described as ‘aere perennius’, or more lasting than bronze. (This is,, just,, pure poetry. I genuinely shed a tear reading this because it is so fantastically gorgeous. I could go on and on about this fic,, I read it constantly)

#matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock smut #daredevil #daredevil x reader #daredevil fluff #daredevil smut #charlie cox smut #noodleficrecs

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heartfullofleeches · 2 years

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I’ve been thinking about this for a long time but how would C.C react to reader getting groped in a club while hes playing music? Like i suddenly remembered your C.C x hopeless romantic reader fic and the setting was in a club.

(tw: harassment)

C.C is.. surprisingly calm.

He always keeps a close eye on you when you're out; especially at one of his gigs so he immediately knows something's up. He'd seen the creep bump into you a couple times, but thinks nothing of it at first - till he sees their hands wondering where they shouldn't belong. You instantly distance yourself, but C.C had seen it all. His first thought is tearing them limb from limb, but his second is making sure you're okay.

"Sorry, everyone, tonight's show has to end a little early today. My..cat died or something."

C.C hands off his mic to the nearest person and surfs through the crowd to meet up with you. The other party in question is already long gone, but he'll deal with them later. He makes sure you're fine with it before scooping you up in a bear tight hug; apologizing for not paying more attention and letting you go so far back in such a large crowd. If you had a few drinks yourself, he stops by the bar to get you some water before taking you back to his apartment.

He makes sure you're alright the entire way; stopping to grab you anything you'd like. Once your back at his place he'll give you something to get you out of your night clothes - most likely something soft and easy to breath. C.C stays with you until you fall asleep or give verbal conformation that you're okay - but is still reluctant to leave at first. He feels responsible, and wants to make up for it by being at your beck and call. Over time, his rage for the situation boils over and he can no longer stay by your side without tearing someone a new one first.

It isn't too hard for him to find them. A "lesser" demon he may be as an incubus in this world; he still had features that could be put to good use. Their scent lingers to the clothes that you wore. He'd rather have them burned that ever going near them again, but they had just a little more purpose before being tossed into a fire.

With some lock picking skills he picked up in his earlier years of mortal living; C.C gets into their house without a problem. He nearly pukes at the heavy fragrance that lingers in the air - the putrid scent of the motherfucker that touched his Y/n. As he draws closer to their bedroom, his human disguise beings to slip. He wasn't too fond of his true form, but this rat deserved the absolute worst. To be ripped to shreds by his claws; vital points overlooked in favor of letting them bleed out before he sank his teeth into their throat.

By the time they notice him - it's already too late. All questions go unanswered, but he gives one of his own.

"You wanted to fool around with someone, right? Why don't we mess around for a bit?"

#C.C my oc #yandere incubus #yandere demon x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere x you #male yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere headcanons #yandere drabble #yandere fic

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toomanyfandomsimfanvergent · 1 hour

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Can I request a Rowan whitethorn x f-reader

Lots of fluff and comfort from rowan reader is overwhelmed and overworked but is such a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no to people and rowan steps in and also helps reader with everything and helps her realx

Rowan Whitethorn x Reader

Summary: (request)

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Y/n groans as she opens the door to her apartment. Her bag hits the floor with a dull thud as she haphazardly tosses it on the floor. She would properly deal with it in the morning. It could wait, she was exhausted from a busy day.

It had started simple enough. She was only supposed to be doing simple tasks in the Wendlyn village. She had already been exhausted, having recently returned from a trip to do scouting in another country for Maeve.

It hadn't ended that way though. She had wound up unable to tell anyone no. She had helped everyone that had asked. How was she supposed to turn down Fenrys when he asked for help with some stitch work? How was she supposed to say no when she was called down to Mistward to help for the day? She couldn't. That seemed to be the issue.

Y/n snapped to attention as she noticed something unusual. Rowan was sitting on her couch. He wasn't supposed to have returned from his travels for another two weeks.

Her lips quirked up in a smile, she quickly walked over to the couch. She curled up on the couch next to him. Allowing her eyes to flutter closed as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I thought you were taking it easy after your trip," Rowan says quietly. The sound of his voice makes Y/n open her eyes. She looks up at him before speaking.

"I was... In Mistward." She groaned. Rowan would pry the truth out of her no matter what she tried to tell him.

Rowan shifted so that Y/n was practically laying half in his lap. She gave him a tired smile and he sighed. His eyebrows here drawn together, in concern. He was always worried about her.

"Why were you in Mistward?" He asked, his voice more irritated than before. His eyes practically pierced through her skin. It felt like he could see through her.

"It was busy. There were quite a few new half faes that entered recently. They all need training, I was just helping out a little bit!" She said, trying to defend her actions.

Rowan shook his head, looking away from her. She could feel the irritation radiating off of his body. The air in the room suddenly felt thick with tension. Rowan had told her many times recently, she needed to stop taking on too many things at once. Especially whenever she was already exhausted.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," He said finally. He looked back at her, his green eyes meeting hers. "Look at you! You're exhausted. And let me guess, you are already planning on doing more tomorrow."

Y/n sat up, frowning. He was right.

His gaze softened, "I'll say no for you. We can spend tomorrow in, together." He said softly, pressing a kis to her forehead.

She nodded, leaning back onto him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. She let her eyes fall closed, she felt peace. Being here, with her lover, was the only time she ever felt true peace. Rowan was the exact same way.

"I love you. And you're doing so much more than you need too. You take care of everyone else. Let me take care of you," He said.

She smiled against his shoulder, "I love you too." His words made her feel worlds better. She always felt like she wasn't doing enough, that she had to take care of everyone else.

It was nice for someone to take care of her instead.

#rowan whitethorn #rowan whitethorn x reader #Rowan whitethorn fanfic #tog fandom #heir of fire #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass x reader

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carbo-ships · 7 months

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Chapter XXXI

Beginning: Chapter I Previous: Chapter XXX

Ardis drifted in and out of sleep for the next two hours. Her moments of partial consciousness were spent in cozy bliss, enjoying being securely wedged between the warm bodies of the men she adored. In the fleeting seconds when she and Aether were both awake at the same time, he would smile at her lovingly and press a little kiss to her forehead. At some point, he'd coiled his tail around one of her thighs.

They all finally began to stir at around 10:30. The trio let out little sighs and grunts as they rejoined the land of the living. "Oh, I really needed that," Papa yawned. "Did you sleep well, lamb?"

"Mmhm," Ardis answered quietly, a happy little smile on her lips.

"Aether, would you mind making the coffee this morning?" Papa asked him. That was typically Papa's job.

The ghoul sat up and stretched, untangling his tail from the angel's legs. "Yeah, okay." He kissed Ardis's temple before climbing out of bed and shuffling out of the room.

When his footsteps faded down the hallway, Papa hugged Ardis tighter. "Aether got a few minutes with you. Now, I'd like mine. Roll over, dear," he said. Ardis giggled and turned to face Papa, snuggling closer to him. "Lie your head on my chest, principessa. That's it. Ah, there's my girl."

"Thank you again for letting us spend the night, Papa," she purred, enjoying the gentle beat of his heart against her ear.

"Of course, of course." He kissed the top of her head. "There's no need to thank me, tesoro. It's my responsibility to keep you safe and happy. Besides, I did promise you there would be plenty of time to cuddle with your Papa, and I am a man of my word."

She nuzzled against him. "I hope you don't mind how cuddly I am," she apologized. "I really never used to be this way – honest! I blame Aether for making me like this."

"No, not at all. I've never been one to shy away from a bit of affection, especially from someone as adorable as you," he assured her. "It's so nice that I get to see you every day. I'm afraid once a fortnight won't be enough for me after this. Your superiors ought to let me keep you."

She giggled. "You might have a hard time convincing them. They were still a bit hesitant to let me go on tour with you, you know."

"But they have plenty of angels," Papa argued jokingly, adjusting the blankets a bit to keep her bundled up. "Surely they can spare just one. Whatever you're doing up there can't be nearly as important as keeping Aether company."

"No, they need me," she sighed. "It's not much, but everyone has their role."

"Would you stay, if you could?" he asked, his tone shifting to become a bit more serious.

Ardis hesitated. "I... I don't know."

Papa’s brow furrowed with worry. "You're happy here, aren't you?"

"Of course! You know how happy you and the ghouls make me. But…” She sighed. “Well, if I really moved to Earth, permanently, and things ended up not working out with Aether, I..."

"Oh, dove…” he murmured, cupping her face. “Is that something you're worried about?"

"I just... I've seen so many humans' relationships fall apart. I don't know what's going to happen." She averted her eyes. “Things are going really well with Aether – or at least I think they are – but I don’t know how long that will last.”

“I see.” Papa squeezed her tighter to comfort her. “Ah, I’m sorry, cara. I didn’t mean to put such unpleasant thoughts in your head. But you know he loves you, yes? You mean the world to him. That ghoul's heart only beats for his angel. Oh, there’s that precious smile! There’s no denying it, bella, that man is yours. Why, the evening before you arrived to leave with us, he–”

Aether suddenly opened the bedroom door and Papa quickly fell silent. The ghoul had a cup of coffee in each hand and a small bottle of juice tucked under one arm. He gave Papa a curious look as he nudged the door closed behind him with his foot, noticing the guilty smile on the pope’s face. “What did you say to her?” he asked suspiciously.

“Nothing, nothing,” Papa insisted coyly, sitting up to accept his coffee.

Aether sat back down on his side of the bed and handed his girlfriend the juice. “Ardis?” he asked her quietly. His voice had that playful rumble to it that always made her weak. “I know that look. What did he say to you?”

She shied under the intensity of his handsome stare. A deep blush settled on her cheeks and she couldn’t hold back her smile. “That you love me,” she answered sheepishly with a little giggle.

He let out a short chuckle. “You already know that!”

“I was just getting ready to tell her about the night before she arrived,” Papa said before taking another sip of his coffee, his lips tugging into a smug grin.

It took Aether a moment to realize what Papa was referring to, but his eyes soon widened. “You wouldn’t.”

“If you’d walked any slower, I certainly would have!”

“Leave me my dignity, at least.”

"Oh, please. You lost it all the moment you started asking for opinions on how to best flex your muscles.”

Ardis laughed. “You what?”

Aether groaned. "I had a little too much to drink and I'd, um… Look, impressing you is really important to me. So I…" He sighed. "Oh, just tell her. I can't do this."

Papa chuckled. “He asked everyone for advice on how to get your attention on stage. How to pose, if you’d mentioned anything to the others about what you found attractive – he even asked Sodo for permission to show off a bit more during my costume change.”

Ardis was grinning ear to ear. “Really?” She looked to Aether and found him averting his gaze out of embarrassment. He sipped his coffee in silence. She giggled and kissed his cheek.

Next: Chapter XXXII

#carbo writes

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askaborderline · 2 years

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today my oldest friend said she didn't want to be friends anymore. she didn't tell me why. i'm still recovering from my fp ghosting me without explanation a year and a half ago. another friend told me suddenly she didn't want to be friends anymore a month or so ago. people keep leaving and i don't know why. i'm such a people pleaser i was completely sacrificing myself and falling apart from the stress. it still wasn't enough. everyone leaves. any advice on managing suicidal thoughts rn?

Hi anon! For starters, I am horribly sorry for what you're going through and can heavily sympathize - I have been through the same ghostings and heartbreaks countless times through my life, and it feels like the end of the world when it happens.

As for some things you can do to help manage the stress...

Accommodate your emotions and allow yourself to feel them and work through them, for starters. It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel angry, it's okay to be bitter - the important thing is to release it in healthy ways. Hit a pillow, cry with a comfort food and a good movie on the couch.

If you worry these thoughts may lead to a dangerous situation, I often prepare ahead of time by talking to my support group and telling them to hide anything I can hurt myself with - if you have a similar opportunity, it never hurts to prepare.

April has a post up on here or @borderlinereminders about urge surfing - it's incredibly helpful and I definitely recommend taking a look at it (if I find the link again I'll reblog to add it, or maybe she will)

Pay a lot of attention to yourself. I know this seems contradictory after the loss of favorite people, especially when you may feel that you don't deserve the attention right now, but I do think it might help you feel a bit better. Find everything you love to do and spoil yourself! Treat yourself like a kid in a room full of toys and try to have some fun, keep your mind off things that are bothering you!

And, one of the most important things to remember is, while you have BPD and emotional permanence is one hell of a thing, remind yourself that emotions can and do change. Get a jar, write down on scraps of paper how you're feeling on your better moods. When you're upset and despondent, you can look at those little scraps you've left and remind yourself that you've been happy or in a good mood before, and you can do it again.

Most importantly, there will always, always, always be new people to meet, and while it may feel like they all leave eventually, some will inevitably grow to love you for your quirks and stay by your side. When you're ready to again, don't be afraid to go meet new people - there's someone out there that would love to meet you.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the speediest and comfiest of recovery from this dark time. Just remember there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and you are cared for. I'm rooting for you.

Cheers, Jane

#tw sui ideation #aab #mod jane

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aryasage · 1 year

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questions

stolen from liv (is anyone surprised at this point?)

do you read or write fanfiction and why?

yes. obviously? apart from being fun, i feel like i have a lot more freedom than with traditional writing. you'll notice in all of my fics (especially atcybyna) that i don't have strictly correct writing all the time. that's intentional (unless it's a typo or something, then it's just me being dumb). having mostly correct punctuation and such and then suddenly having the narration turn into run-on sentences? that conveys something. i really enjoy parallels and motifs (if you hadn't figured that out already) and this is part of that. having traditional writing standards and then breaking them is what makes it interesting, but it's hard to do that when your reader expects you to keep up those standards throughout the whole work.

that and brainrot

2. how and when did you discover fanfiction?

there's a fic not in lolrpf on my account. i'll let you figure out the rest.

3. how has fandom and fiction evolved since you found it?

i'll be honest i don't really know how to answer this question? i haven't been in fandom for long enough to see much change, i don't think

4. do you still engage with it in the way you used to?

i have to scroll past a lot more cringe things now.

5. which fandoms do you enjoy reading/writing?

lolrpf at present but can't say i enjoy looking through the fandom tag. the few people actually writing gen fics are what keep me sane

there's a tua fic that's just been sitting there taunting me for about six months. doubt i'll ever get around to finishing it but it was an interesting restriction i had to work around with the one line i really wanted to include at some point

That One Fandom. i have a doc full of fic ideas and a bunch more wips. might go back to them some day when the lolrpf brainrot runs out. but that'll take a while.

6. who are your otps?

i participate in exactly zero fandoms where shipping isn't at best awkward and at worst incredibly problematic! there's a reason for that!

7. have you told anyone you write fanfiction?

well sometimes people ask what i'm writing and i just laugh and say it's…creative writing, other times i tell them and their face falls instantly. have been able to convince some of them that as long as you're not cringe about it it doesn't have to be cringe though! we're getting there.

8. what does fanfiction mean to you?

the fact that you don't have to do all the world and character building yourself and just get to the angst or the fluff is pretty neat. my twin shadow. the way that you can build a community by just throwing your writing into the world. lots of things. i think it's hard to pin down.

9. do you prefer canon-based fanfiction or au? (so fanfiction that slots seamlessly into the original story or ‘alternate universe’ fanfiction where the world is slightly different)

aus just kinda hit different, ngl. you can do so much more with—well, everything. and pure canon in rpf—it can get messy extremely quickly if you're not careful. i tried once and it basically turned into an au anyway.

10. tell us about a fanfiction you’ve either read or written

one time i had a dream where i was a certain pro player (not gonna name names) (and no, it's not who you think) who was basically jhin but with a bit more restraint about that whole war thing. i'm sitting at a table in the back of a bar, and the people at the bar are talking (loudly, they're drunk) about the war on the horizon, and how much simpler it would be if the second coming of jhin hadn't disappeared.

woke up and wrote down a basic plot and then i worldbuilt the whole setting: basically, champs are gods and can make someone their vassal, depending on the god that can mean anything from visions in their dreams to full-on getting possessed every so often.

with jhin, well…like in canon, mans is a bit murderhappy, so his vassal is freakishly good at killing people…but it’s always a spectacle. he doesn’t even know he’s jhin’s vassal until one day in a battle (he’s a soldier, there’s a War going on) he blacks out and suddenly all his allies are cheering for him. they don’t know his name, so they’re not shouting that. they’re shouting the name of the god that won them the fight.

fast forward a few months, he’s basically won a war single-handedly. that’s great and all. but he doesn’t remember how he did it. all he can remember are the screams and the blood and the joy he had felt doing such horrible things. and that terrifies him.

time skip to a few years later, he’s trying to live a normal life, trying to pretend like the voice of the god in his head isn’t constantly telling him to murder everyone in the room. but another war is coming. and this is where our story starts.

he gets drafted (again) because even though he’s a war hero, that only means he’s proved how important he is. and, you know, corrupt government and all.

in the army, he meets people who were able to keep their being a vassal secret, and they all bond over the gods in their heads.

and that was about where i ran out of plot. it was an interesting world, but the story that i chose to tell was both too long and too directionless for me to ever finish. might do something else with that setting at some point though.

oh yeah and @space-axolotl you should answer these too >:)

#ppau #ppau writing

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margaret-diaries · 2 years

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To my first sweetheart,

June 10, 2022

They say it is impossible for two people who fell in love and tumbled apart to be friends again. How long does healing take? How do we mend our hearts from something that was once beautiful, innocent, and pure?

How do we know we are entirely okay? Healed? Do we really recover from something that broke and built us simultaneously? Or was it only the narratives I continued telling myself?

It has been 2 years and 11 months of accepting what's already gone. And here I am, still processing, moving, and waiting for the moment — this shall pass.

I wrote letters for you. Words you will never read in this lifetime. I sang songs for you. Songs you will never know that are meant for you. I did everything to survive all those nights. I yearn for your voice again. Endless questions were asked through my tears. All those sudden thoughts of you in my ordinary days. Little things that made me orbit again in the breath of your existence. I always wonder what you're doing. How do you feel? Were there things that suddenly remind you of me? Or have you already forgotten what I sound and feel like? But it doesn't matter anymore. We drifted apart a long time ago, and as I step along, I can't help but look back. Finding the remains of you from the time, the universe allowed us to be the right person for each other.

Yet peeking behind only holds me back.

I never stopped loving you from the moment you decided to walk away.

As they say, sometimes, "I love you" doesn't mean I'll stay. I might miss you, but that's all there is. I know in the most profound part of my heart that I made the right decision on the 5th of July. You would not need to drown again with someone who doesn't even know how to swim on her own. You deserve the most delicate things in this world. Every ounce of love, happiness, and joy. You deserve it all, my dearest. Someone I can never be for you because I am not even half of what you truly deserve.

When I took the courage to reach out 6 months ago, I finally had the chance to ask for your forgiveness for everything we've been through — for all the things that haunt me in my sleep. It felt good. The things I have been dreaming about are happening before my eyes. I thought I had lost that chance forever. Everything is ultimately falling into the right places. But I guess my presence is no longer welcome in your present anymore. I understand. I don't want to impede your peaceful, happy life and I would gladly distance myself as far as your eyes can see. I'm sorry if I am way so thrilled to tell you about my becoming. The roller coaster I rode to meet you again. And tell you the ups and downs of my journey. I am sorry if I shared too much than what was only required that day. I missed you. Not in a romantic way but just you. All of you.

I felt embarrassed at first because I overexposed myself. But I realized there wasn't wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with appearing too much. There is nothing wrong with my truest form — the most beautiful version of myself. I was bothered for days. But yeah, we always end up okay.

Understand that I have learned how to be alone and befriend loneliness, especially on my bad days. I've faced so many wars relying on myself. Can you imagine I survived it! Those days I thought could be my last, for I don't know how to fight anymore. There were days when only my bathroom walls hear my screams or my pillowcase wiped my tears. I never thought I could withstand it. But here I am writing a letter to you. Which I know will never ever reach you. But if it does, send me a song.

I always wonder what would it feel like if you have someone to share with the heaviness of life. It must be euphoric.

I wish we had met when we were a little older. What do you think?

I was already okay with our conversation. Our healthy catch-up, though, ended disrespectfully on my part. Was it too complicated to tell me honestly if I ever did something that might cross the line? I will completely understand and apologize for it. But you left me thinking I did something wrong. But it's okay. It's already done. I forgive myself and you for it.

I also realized one thing this week: the time we finally spoke was only the first step of healing. And I must still learn and consistently mend my heart with the pieces of you that survive in me. I have yet to forgive myself every day until I can see you again. I still need to learn how to lower my walls little by little for someone who wants to set foot in my heart again. I may be imperfect in every way. I know I deserve to feel love too like you do. And just because someone isn't perfect doesn't mean they are not worthy of the love this world could ever pour. This planet deserves our love.

One day, when I'm ready. I promise I will not be scared of loving again. I won't be thinking about your name when I am so close on breaking my walls for someone. And when my vessels can't take the love I am giving myself anymore, maybe I can finally share myself to another soul. On that day, I hope you'll be proud of me.

Can ex-lovers be friends? Yes, when time healed everything. And If heaven permits, let's meet again after a couple of years. Grab some coffee if you'd like. Maybe at that time, we can talk about life again.

There's no point in longing and regrets. But I know this too shall pass.

Even in this. I will write until the last words left in me till I no longer hold onto you and finally be lost in my own cosmos — never finding its way back to yours.

Love, Margaret

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betasuppe · 2 years

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Ok as much as I love torturing you guys, I want to clear the air up, just a bit without spoiling too much because I woke up to MULTIPLE concerned asks about Emmet & his spouse today.

So, I want to hit on a few things really quick just in case anybody else is worried for our mess of a champion [I still want to respond to each of the asks individually too!], but I wanted to kinda explain myself before anyone else starts pointing the finger at Emmet's yet-to-be-introduced partner as being a toxic source in his life, because Emmet has every right to become angry & a bit of a jerk to the world for what he's been thru, so here we go:

First of all, I'm deeply sorry gang, but since I have a lot of new followers, if you were unaware...........

I'm a HUGE FAN OF VILLAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

& that's probably gonna explain a lot with my set up for Emmet while Ingo has gone missing lol. & I especially love a good & vile villain who's sick everyone in the world & only really cares about their partner, so that's definitely gonna play into this too [hey, this AU was made by me for me, after all, so I'm peppering in my favorite tropes just because♡].

But I want you guys to consider Emmet's journey to becoming Champion like his villain origin story... Jumping back to the beginning, we have Ingo suddenly vanish, with absolutely no explanation, at all. Both brothers are major workaholics & really have so much love for their jobs, so instead of allowing himself to process all the emotions related to the fear & grief of losing his twin bro, Emmet just decides he's going to attempt to fill in for both the Single & Double subway battles, as if nothing at all is wrong.

People start picking up on it really REALLY quickly, especially when the twin in black stops making appearances on the subway, that something's up & start pestering him about Ingo's whereabouts. People literally fight to make their way to Emmet, just to harass him with question after unanswerable question about his brother.

Soon, it hits the tabloids & newspapers that one of Nimbasa's famed Subway Bosses is missing in action & they start harassing him even more, on top of the subway passengers & trainers &.... all the while, Emmet still hasn't gotten any time to grieve & is working himself down to the bone, trying to do the job of two workaholics, which is just not possible tbh.

As maybe the 2nd then 3rd week trickle by, Emmet's stressed as sin, barely eating, rarely even sleeping & is still being wracked by fear & doubts about Ingo's vanishing act. He sleeps in an office in Gear Station, not even wanting to go back to the apartment he & his twin shared. He can't catch a break from reporters & trainers & everybody & their mothers asking about his brother & what's going on. Meanwhile, Emmet himself is completely clueless & burned out & exhausted & is ready to collapse, but still keeps on a brave face & ignores all the questions & harassment, trying to do his job & his brother's all the while.

So, imagine in this state, when you can barely stay awake & on your feet, people keep antagonizing you about your much more intriguing cold case of a brother [& ignoring you, the dark circles under your eyes, & your well being all the while], & you're at your mental, physical & emotional breaking point... when someone fights their way to you FOR you & is genuinely concerned about YOU.

They look at you & see you're one teeny tiny step away from falling down & never getting back up, they don't believe you when you try to casually blow their concerns off... instead becoming even more worried for your well being.

Then, they pull you away from the work that's been killing you & away from the hoards of people antagonizing you for stories & news you don't have. They get you somewhere safe away from the world & force the first hot meal you've had in weeks into your hands & insist you get some sleep while they stay by your side & keep the rest of the ugly world away. As the days move on, they stay with you, making sure you get back up on your feet & filling in for the loneliness you've been trying to avoid, thanks to your missing sibling & closest friend.

This someone looking out for you might not have been the most important person in your life before all this happened, maybe a loose acquaintance or something like that, but try & tell me you wouldn't feel some sort of fondness for this one person who's fighting for your health & taking care of you. Tell me that you won't become bitter at the rest of the world who all overlooked you, just wanting the juicy details about the heartbreaking disappearance of your twin. Tell me that you won't push yourself into what you love most & won't become a jerk back to the world who ignored you in favor of someone more intriguing.

... at least, it all makes plenty of sense to me in Emmet's point of view. He's definitely going through a corruption arc & he's become a slick, cruel bastard, but it's not for lack of love or support. He has a good partner who is genuinely worried for his well being & is trying to help him, but ultimately, Emmet is angry with the world & doing what he does best to show them all who's boss!

.... don't think that doesn't make his & Ingo's eventual reunion any easier because it's gonna be a bumpy road too lmaooo

#nok talks #champion emmet #train twins♡#OK LONG POST BUT WORTH IT OK?#please be aware that im giving some spoilers to Emmet's situation post Ingo vanishing butttt #its my au i can alter it any time so who can say what stays or changes lol #but... in the mean time....#CORRUPTION ARC CORRUPTION ARC CORRUPTION ARC YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!#submas #emmet #em&m

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kpop---scenarios · 3 years

Text

Life After Death

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Genre: Zombie! Au, Enemies to Lovers

Warning: Death, Blood, Smut, Swearing

Word Count: 9k

Summary: The morning you woke up, everything seemed normal, until it wasn't. The world is turned upside down the government and the World Health Organization have shut down, zombies around every corner and only the strong survive. You meet a few friends along the way, and lose even more as you continue to fight for your life. You never thought you'd meet someone under these circumstances but here you were, happy while surviving life after death. Though you should have known, there's never a happy ending in an apocalypse.

A/N: This is part of the collab started by @biaswreckingfics! Go to her page to see the other stories written by terrific creators!

"I'll see you later." You whisper to your sleeping boyfriend before you place a light kiss on his cheek. You open the front door to your apartment, looking back and around at everything, making sure you weren't forgetting anything before you left. As you close the door, you realize you forgot to turn off the radio when you hear one of your favorite songs playing. With a sigh, you glance at your watch and you see you're going to be late, so you leave it, just missing the important message that interrupted everything.

"Breaking News: The World Health Organization has announced extremely serious side effects from the recent vaccinations of batch number 0506361. If the numbers 0506361 are on your vaccination cards please report to your nearest hospital to seek medical treatment."

You don't notice anything different or weird as you walk down the pathway from your apartment building to your parked car. The sun is shining, the air smells crisp, today was going to be a good day, you could feel it. You slide into the driver's seat of your car, turning it on and immediately syncing your phone to play your favorite playlist to amp you up for the day of work you had ahead of you. As you continue to drive to work you notice the streets seem a lot busier than they usually were, especially for 7:45am, some people in their suits running down the sidewalk screaming. Your stomach twisted as you continued down the street, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to watch the people and the road, slowing your speed. You look out your window and see a man laying on the ground, with another man on top of him. You rolled down your window to yell at them, but when the man turned to look at you, panic ensued. His eyes were white, his face was covered in blood, veins pulsating in his face. Nothing about him seemed human. He looked directly at you, and stood up. Your hands shook as you rolled up your window as fast as it would go. The man suddenly now bolted towards you, snarling. With your window up and both hands now on the steering wheel, you try to breathe through the lump that had appeared in your throat. As you keep driving, you see more and more of people being attacked, tackled and ripped into, people running away crying and screaming, vehicles crashing, buildings and cars up in flames. You could hear the blood curdling screams from inside your car. With shaky hands you switch the station of your radio to see if anyone was reporting on what the fuck was happening.

"..If the numbers 0506361 are on your vaccination cards please report to your nearest hospital to seek medical treatment.. there's a virus.. It's zombies. Zombies are attacking the city.. everyone seek shelter.. oh god.. please no."

You quickly turn your car around, speeding back to your apartment as you try to swerve off the undead as you rush back to your boyfriend. You may not know much, but you've seen enough zombie movies to know that you need to get supplies. You drive your car up and over the curb, parking directly on the lawn in front of your building and run inside. You were lucky you lived right on the ground floor of one of the first apartments in. You struggle to slide your key into the lock, the cries of residents pleading filling the hallway. Your key finally slides into the lock, quickly you turn it and shove your door open before slamming it behind you.

"Jaebum?" You whisper as you scrounge through the front closet looking for the duffle bag that you knew was in there. "Jaebum." You hiss again, running to the kitchen. You pack all the perishable food items and then begin filling up every jug you could find that had a lid with water. You tore through your junk drawer grabbing the flashlights and batteries, and any candles you could find as well as your butcher block.

"I'm serious, Jaebum. You need to answer me now." You hiss, bringing the bag into the living room. You guys needed to leave quickly, which meant you needed to pack even quicker. It wasn't like him not to answer you, it made you worry. You glance to the front door and his shoes were still exactly where he had left them the night before. You crept up to your closed bedroom door, with your hand hovering over the door knob. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest as you grabbed the knob, slowly turning it. You push the door open, expecting to see him, but he wasn't there. You quickly changed out of your work clothes, and grabbed everything from all of your drawers and shoved it into the bag. It wasn't until you had finished grabbing what you needed and you had a second to listen that you heard the shower running from down the hall, but for whatever reason, something didn't feel right. You tiptoed quietly down the hallway, standing in front of the door, you pressed your ear against it but heard nothing other than the sound of the shower running.

"Jaebum?" You whispered, gently knocking on the door, but there was no answer. You turned the knob, and opened the door. You saw your boyfriend standing there with his back turned to you. "Oh my god, Jae, we have to go! There are fucking zombies outside!" You gasp, still having a hard time believing those words that were coming from your mouth. In a split second he turned around, his face was beginning to contort, one eye was pure white.

"Y/N.. somethings wrong." He chokes out, spitting out blood before he falls to the ground, his body spasming while he froths at the mouth.

You let out a loud scream as you slam the door shut, running down the hallway to grab the duffle bag before heading out. You swing your door open to run out and crash into a man who falls into another group. You turn to apologize but already there were zombies staggering down the hallway at a quick pace. You whisper an apology before you run out the front door, his cries and pleas for help making your heart sink. You release a big breath seeing your car is still there. You climb in your front seat, closing the door as fast as you can and locking all the doors before turning your car on. Just before you were able to put your car in reverse and speed away, a man began banging on your window.

"Please miss, please open your door." He asks. You look at his face, he's sweating, blood splattered all over his face. His fists and arms remain pressed against your window, smearing blood across it. Your eyes drift down and you see a fresh wound - a bite mark and a chunk taken from his arm.

"You were bitten.." You say to him through the window.

"I'm fine. It's fine.. it's not a bite.. please." He begs. He turns to look behind him and looks back at you, panic written all over his face.

"Please miss, they're coming.. please." He cries.

"I can't." You yell, turning your head away from them. You put the car in reverse, stepping on the gas you pull away from him, knocking him to the ground. As your car stops so you can switch it into drive, you watch as the man gets mauled by a herd of the undead. You felt bad, but you couldn't have helped him, even if you wanted to.

You drove towards the freeway, thinking your best bet is to get out of the city. Your eyes were glued to the road and watching the mirrors, you watched as people panicked while driving, crashing into other cars trying to merge first, crashing into medians, and going in all directions. You could feel a panic attack coming along as you finally realized you were all alone. You had no one to talk to, no one to help you and that was terrifying. You glance down at your gas gage, seeing you had almost a full tank, you knew you would be able to make it to the one place that was probably the safest, your cousin Ray's.

You're stuck in traffic with your doors locked as you see a few people running to cars, trying to get in. There's a man, crying and panicking. No one would let him in, a herd of zombies following behind him. You needed to make a quick decision, so you rolled down your window motioning them over to you. "Here, get in." You yell, unlocking your doors. A man climbs into the backseat of your car, and you quickly lock the doors as soon as the door closes.

"Thank you." The man cries

"Have you been bitten?" You ask, turning to look him over.

"No.. no I haven't. Some men.. they pulled me out of my car, and took off, leaving me out there to die." The man explains. "You're the first person who offered me any help."

"I'm glad I could help." You smile through your rear view. "My cousin has a farm just an hour or so up from here. My family is heading there now. He's been preparing for an apocalypse for a long time. We should be safe there." You explain.

Earlier you had gotten a frantic call from your mother, her asking if you had seen what was going on. You couldn't understand why she thought you lived under a rock and didn't know anything. You did leave your house and listen to the news, contrary to popular belief.

"Thank you, thank you." He cries. You just smile as you continue to drive to Ray's farm.

An hour later you take a left turn, driving down the gravel road that leads you to the farm house. You drive slowly, seeing your mom's car, your aunt's car and a few other relatives. You sighed a sigh of relief, knowing that your family was safe. The two of you get out of the car and quietly make your way to the door. You softly knock but there's no answer. You turn the door knob, pushing the door open and it's empty. You walk down the small hallway and hear nothing. Your mom isn't talking, Ray wasn't yelling, no one was making a sound and that was very unusual for your family.

"Hello?" You call out.

You hear footsteps coming from down the hall as the two of you stand around the kitchen. "Hurry up." You laugh and cry.

As the footsteps got closer, you could hear snarling. Your laughter stopped as your cousin Ray came out of the back room. "Zombies." You whisper, backing away.

Not far behind him was your mom, dad, and aunt all coming out, rushing towards you all. "Run!" You scream, heading towards the door. You pull it open, the man behind you trying to get out the door, but he falls, crying as the undead come closer. He's doing his best to fight the zombies off but more stagger out from the back room, there are too many for him. "Run! Save yourself! If you meet my wife, her name is H/N, tell her I love her and our daughter." He yells. "I was trying to get home to them." He yells.

He's trying so hard to fight them, but he's bitten, he screams in agony as he's being ripped to shreds, his body being mauled by the undead.

His screams are now silent, the only sound filling the room is the sound of flesh being torn through.

You close the door, running back to your car. You see a gas can on the side of the house. You rummage through your car, knowing that you have a lighter somewhere in there. You remembered the argument you and Jaebum had gotten into about smoking and he tossed his lighter in your car.

Found it, under the passenger seat. As you went to get out of the car, you noticed something in the backseat.

A wallet.

You grabbed it, opening it up to see the license. It was the man's.

"Kim Jongdae." You whisper. You felt sorry for him, but you couldn't take long to mourn. You needed to be alert and get back on the road. You take your lighter and run to the gasoline. You pour it all over the front of the house, seeing your undead family banging against your windows broke your heart but you needed to do this. You flick the lighter, igniting the flame and throw it onto the ground. The house lights up, the flames quickly engulfing the house. You walk back to your car, slide into the driver's seat and sit there, tears pouring down your cheeks. You have no family, no friends, you have no one.

No one is coming to save you. You watch as your family and the house burn to the ground, exploding in the process.

That made you laugh a little bit, thinking of all the illegal shit your cousin Ray had in his basement.

A while later you get yourself together and drive over to the barn. If you knew anything about your cousin, it is that he always stored something in his barn, besides his pride and joy of a car, his old bronco, Monty. You pull the doors open, and take the tarp off the car, revealing its shine. Just as you remembered it. You peaked in the driver's side and sure enough, the keys were dangling from the ignition.

You began walking slowly to the back of the barn, opening another door, and here you found the jackpot.

Guns.

From a machine gun, to a pistol, to a shotgun. You gathered them all, putting the guns and the ammo in the backseat of Monty. You grab your bags from your car, tossing them in as well before looking around to see if there was anything else you could take. You notice a radio, but don't think much of it at the moment.

You climb into the driver's seat, and pull out of the barn, feeling safer than you have all day. You keep driving down the deserted highway. Abandoned cars everywhere, a few bodies laying around but most of all, no zombies but also no humans either. You're barely paying attention to the road, when you hit something, causing you to swerve, and the car to make a funny noise. You get out to check and see your front tire, flat as fuck.

You didn't have a spare. It was getting dark and you were exhausted. You moved most of the guns to the floor of the back seat, grabbing a blanket and some food and water. You change your clothes, wiping yourself down before having a snack. Laying down in the backseat you try to plan out your next move, but your eyelids get too heavy, and you can't fight it anymore. You doze off completely, and for a little while, forget about the disaster you're in.

You stayed in your car for weeks, never coming across anyone human. You missed talking to someone, talking to yourself wasn't the same. At times you almost forgot what your own voice sounded like. When it was safe, you'd get out of the car and wander around the forest, collecting sticks and branches to make fires with, so you could heat up some of your food. You have some, but you were starting to run low and you didn't know what you were going to do when it ran out. You were limiting yourself to one meal a day but even that didn't seem to help.

You learned when zombies came near the car, in a few or a herd, you needed to hide yourself very well. No moving, light breathing and packed under a lot of things. You were sure if they couldn't see you then they would continue on their way and leave. It almost always worked.

Life in the apocalypse was lonely and exhausting. That night you went to sleep, hoping for a miracle.

You're woken up later, by a frantic tapping on your window. Your eyes adjust to the sun as you look directly out your back window. A group of men stand there, all looking terrified as one of them taps on your window harder. You crawl up to the front driver's seat. You know you can't go anywhere, not with your busted tire. You turn the car on, rolling down your window just a crack.

"What?" You ask, side eyeing all of them.

"Please, we won't hurt you.. we just need a ride. There.. there's a military base a few miles up, but we just can't walk anymore. We haven't come across anyone, human in a while." He stutters.

"My tire is flat." You explain. "I don't have a spare."

"I can change it for you, just gotta take one off another car." A man pipes up.

You didn't feel uneasy from these guys and you were one to always trust your instincts.

"You change the tire, I'll give you a ride." You say. A military base? Maybe it would finally be somewhere safe for you to be.

The man nods and gets to work. By the time he's done the sun is beginning to set, and then you're on your journey to hopefully find somewhere safe.

You're driving down the highway, doing your best to follow the men's map that has every military base mapped out in the 100 miles surrounding the area. "What are your names?" You ask.

"I'm Changbin." The one in the front seat answers. "I'm Chan, and this is Felix." One in the back answers.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N." You say with a smile. As you continue to drive, it quickly becomes night time, everything is black, except for the dim lights coming from your headlights. The two men in the back continue to loudly talk and argue over something, making it hard for you to concentrate. You hated driving at night, especially near wooded areas, you never knew what was out there.

"Can you guys stop?" You ask, glancing to the back.

They continued and got louder. Changbin was asleep in the front seat as they continued their bickering, making you get even more flustered. You turn your head to look back at them, telling them again to stop. They look at each other as you look back at the road and see something standing there. You get startled, yanking the wheel to try and avoid it, heading directly into the woods. The car heads straight on towards a tree and crashes. You hit your head hard on the steering wheel, knocking you out.

What feels like hours, but only seconds later you gain consciousness, just in time to hear Changbin and Chan crying. "She killed him." Changbin cried. "I'm gonna kill her." He yells.

You're struggling to open your eyes, your head is pounding.

You can hear some rustling between the two. "Don't." Chan says. "Leave her. She's in no condition to go anywhere. The undead will get her. She'll get her suffering, ``he says. "Let's take what we can and leave."

"No." You whisper. "Don't."

They can't hear you.

You can hear them rummaging through your car, collecting your guns, your food, your water, everything you had.

"Let's go." Changbin says, they both take off, leaving you there to die as you lose consciousness once again.

You're startled awake, surrounded by darkness. You unbuckle your seatbelt, getting out of the car with your head pounding. Your headlights are still on, and you see Felix's body laying on the ground. He had flown through the windshield from the impact of the crash. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt. You begin to cry, this was too much for you.

And then you remember. You look up and see a herd of zombies staggering towards you. They were quicker than you thought. You turned towards the road, running as fast as you could, your leg was throbbing. You run across the road to the other side of the woods. You can hear the snarling behind you as you do your best to navigate through the trees, branches breaking beneath your feet.

You stop, hiding behind a tree, trying to control your breathing. You listen, you can hear the sounds of them walking through the forest, searching for you. You take a second before you take off again, trying to zigzag through the woods in your best attempt to lose them.

You look up, seeing a fire. You run towards it, the flames becoming closer, you can hear the sound of faint words.

Then everything goes quiet. Suddenly the fire is put out and you can hear the sounds of guns clicking.

"Don't shoot." You yell out. "Please."

"What do you want?" A woman yells back.

"I'm.. there's a herd following me. I need help. I was in an accident, I was robbed. I haven't been bitten." You stutter.

"We don't need anyone else." A man yells. "Keep moving."

"Please.. I just need some help. I'm all alone." You cry.

"Move along, before I put a bullet in your head." He yells.

You let out a sob as you turn, beginning to run a different way. You hope you can find a safe place and a group of people but for tonight, you just hope you can survive the night.

It had been months.

Months since the outbreak, months of being on your own, months of fighting, scavenging, and hiding. You had come across a few groups, but they wanted nothing more than to take what you had and leave you defenseless. You had learned to hide from most people, giving yourself the advantage of a surprise attack. Most of the time you were successful and they just took off but sometimes they also fought back.

A week ago you had come across a small town, and had found some food and water and a place to stay, but you knew better than to stay in one place for too long. You quickly packed up your belongings into your backpack and grabbed your large spear. You learned awfully quick how to take down a zombie with it, finding it to be much more efficient than a gun, especially with having spears on both sides.

As you walk through the forest, your eyes and ears are open, listening for any signs of the undead. You stop in your tracks, hearing the sound of grunting and yelling, sounding close to you. You walk towards the sound, and come into view of four men trying to fight off a herd. They looked to be struggling, and although you don't usually like to insert yourself into others' fights, you felt like being nice and lending a hand. You run towards them, spearing a few in the head on your way.

You quickly join the fight, taking down a few zombies, as they get a little distracted, seeing another person helping.

"Focus." A man yells, bringing them out of the confusion.

A few minutes later, the last one is stabbed in the head, his decaying body dropping to the ground. The four men turn to look at you, two of them with a smile on their faces, one looking a little confused and the other one looking right angry.

"Hi." One with brown hair and a large smile says.

"Thank you." The blonde one grins.

"No problem." You laugh.

"I'm Baekhyun, this is Chanyeol." He introduces. "And that's Suho." He says, pointing to the confused one. "And that's Kyungsoo." He finishes, pointing to the angry one.

"Nice to meet you all." You say. "I'm Y/N."

"Are you all alone?" Chanyeol asks.

You nod your head.

"What's your story, Y/N?" Suho asks.

You smile awkwardly as you look at the four men who surround you. "My boyfriend turned into one of them when this whole thing started, so I was on my own from the beginning, in a sense. I met a man on my way to my cousin's farm, where my family was gathering, and when we got there they all had already turned. He..he tripped and he fell while trying to escape and he was bitten." You shudder. "I gathered supplies and I took off, and ended up with a flat tire a few hours away. I stayed in my car for weeks, managing pretty well on my own. I met three guys who offered to change my tire for a ride to a military base but when we finally got going.. it was dark and they were arguing in the back." You explain. "I turned around to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen and when I looked back at the road, there was something there and I swerved." You sigh. "We hit a tree, and one of them flew through the window. The other two robbed me of everything I had and I've been alone ever since."

"Well not anymore you're not." Baekhyun smiles. "You can join our group."

"Yeah!" Chanyeol exclaims.

"No." Kyungsoo grunts, walking past you, glaring at you. "We didn't need your help. And you're not joining us." He spits. "You're not going to let her join, right?" He asks Suho.

"I don't know." Suho sighs.

"Suho, everyone around her dies. She's bad fucking luck and if you bring her with us, we're all as good as dead." He spits.

"Meeting." Suho announces.

The four men huddle around, whispering to each other. You can make out Baekhyun and Chanyeol saying yes, and Kyungsoo saying no.

Seconds later they all stand up, Kyungsoo looking pissed with the other two looking happier than a pig in shit.

"If you would like to, we would like to invite you to join us. We know it's tough out here, and I can't imagine what it's been like to be alone." Suho says.

You look between all the men, even if one hated you for no reason, you were tired of being alone, and being scared alone.

"Yes." You announce. "Thank you."

"Come on, our camp is this way." Chanyeol smiles, waving you along. Three men begin walking away, but Kyungsoo walks towards you.

"I don't trust you." He murmurs, moving in close. "If anyone from this group so much as gets a splinter, I'm coming for you." He growls into your ear, his tone is low and very threatening. Goosebumps cover your skin as you feel his hot breath on your ear.

You nod your head.

He turns away from you, running towards the rest of his group.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea?

You felt like your legs were going to collapse as you continued to walk behind the group. Baekhyun turns around, smiling as he announces you have arrived. You look around and see a bunch of trees, but no camp, except for the small campfire pit that sat on the ground.

"It's.. nice." You smile.

Chanyeol, Suho and Baekhyun start laughing.

"Look up." Chanyeol says.

You tilt your head to the sky, and see a decent sized tree house sitting between a few trees. Your jaw drops, this was one thing you had never expected to see. "Come, we'll give you a tour." Baekhyun says, beginning to climb up the swinging ladder. You follow behind Baekhyun, the rest coming up behind you. When you get inside, you're honestly still amazed. It wasn't much but it was safe and it was out of the way and off the ground.

"We pull up the ladder when we're here, and when we all leave we just hide it." Suho explains. "We have food, water and sleeping bags. The most important things. We all pitch in around here, whether or not it's repairs, runs, or fights, everyone helps." He says, looking at you.

"Of course. Whatever I can do to help, I will." You assure them.

"Or don't, I'm not ready to die." Kyungsoo mutters, setting his stuff down.

Your eyes darted over to Kyungsoo, giving him an offended look. He looks back at you, not caring if he's hurt your feelings. You can sort of understand why he's weary of you, but it's not like you killed these people for the hell of it. You were determined to prove that it wasn't you, that you weren't bad luck. How you were going to do that, you had no idea.

That night you sat around a campfire, your belly fuller than it's been in a while, while you listened to stories Baekhyun and Chanyeol shared about their friend group. As it turned out, there were a total of twelve of them when this first started. Some of them were unfortunate to be ones who had gotten the batch of vaccines, a few they had lost while traveling, some died in fights, or took off to find their loved ones.

"Have you come across any of them?" You ask.

"We've looked, but no luck so far. There are two we're still looking for. Oh Sehun and Kim Jongdae." Suho says.

Your heart stops. Your head darts up, looking at him with wide eyes.

"What?" Chanyeol asks.

"What was that last name?" You whisper.

"Kim Jongdae? He was one of our best friends." Suho tells you.

You gulp, there's a ball forming in your throat. "What?" Kyungsoo yells. "What do you know?"

"I.. He said he was trying to get back to his wife and kid.. h-he told me to run and save myself. I wanted to help him b-but I didn't know how." You choke out.

"The man that was bitten at your farm. That was Jongdae?" Kyungsoo asks.

"I saw his license in his wallet.. he had dropped it in my car when we got out. I'm so sorry." You cry.

Kyungsoo rushes towards you, tackling you to the ground, straddling you.

"You fucking bitch, I knew you shouldn't have joined us. It should have fucking been you. You should have died, not him." He screams in your face, spit flying from his mouth as he hands pin your shoulders to the ground.

You're bawling as Suho and Chanyeol pull Kyungsoo off of you, he's still crying and yelling. "It should have been you!" He yells.

Baekhyun helps you off the ground, guiding you to go up into the tree house. He sets out a sleeping bag for you, tucking you in as you cry into the built in pillow. 'I'm so sorry." You whimper.

"I know. And we know it's not your fault. Jongdae was a clumsy motherfucker so I'm not surprised he tripped. Don't take what Kyungsoo says to heart. He's been through alot and he's not warm to new people. Just give him a bit." Baekhyun tells you. He gives you a half smile before climbing down the ladder and sitting back around the fire, helping to calm things down. That night you fell asleep with tears staining your face.

Days bled into weeks, and then into months, until this new life and these men were all that were at the top of your mind. Chanyeol had finally been able to make contact with the ham radio that had been found on one of many expeditions. There seemingly were whole groups of people like yourselves out there, sticking together and trying to survive. You reflected on the wonder of it all as you cleaned the rabbit you had caught, the best you could.

Kyungsoo had become different with you, he didnt give off a hatred towards you anymore. His words didn't cut quite as deep. Slowly you were becoming closer, and you enjoyed it.

Suddenly, you feel a presence behind you, waves of hot breath covering the nape of your neck, sending chills down your spine. He didn't even need to speak, you already knew who it was. "You're doing it wrong." Kyungsoo breathed, his body close to yours.

"I'm not." You retort, continuing to skin the dead animal. You tried to ignore his presence, and that fact that he made you feel so many mixed emotions whenever he was around.

You both hear a crunch of leaves behind you, making Kyungsoo step away from you and turn around.

"What are you guys doing?" Baekhyun asks, raising his eyebrow.

"She's skinning the rabbit wrong. She's going to take off all the meat with the fur." Kyungsoo announces.

"I am not.. shit." You spit, looking on the ground, seeing hunks of meat still attached to the fur.

"Told you." He mumbles, walking away and into the forest to try and find more food.

You stick up your middle finger at the man who drove you crazy day in and day out.

"Y/N." Suho calls out to you, a few hours later. "If you want to take a bath, go to the stream now. It's going to be dark soon."

You nod your head, climbing up the ladder to grab your things. You slide back down, just in time for Kyungsoo to be protesting something.

"We've all got other things to do, you're the only one free." Suho tells him. "Y/N, Kyungsoo will be keeping watch for you."

"I really don't ne.." you start.

"Yes you do." He says, looking at you. "And you will go. That's it."

With an aggravated groan, Kyungsoo stomps off towards the stream, with your speed walking to keep up with him.

As you finish up your wash, you dry yourself off with your towel, pulling your jeans on over your damp legs. You bend down to grab your shirt, when you hear a rustling from behind you. You stand up straight, your heart pounding in your chest.

You hear it again, the sound now closer to you. "Fuck." You scream, running towards Kyungsoo. Your body collides with his, your breasts pressing against his hard chest. "There's something out there." You whisper.

You both hear the sound, Kyungsoo holding onto you as his eyes dart around, taking in the surroundings. Seconds later a deer walks out of the bushes, grazing and you can feel your heart slow down.

"It's a deer." He announces, looking at you. You look back at him, your eyes trailing to his heart shaped lips. Your own set of lips parting slightly as you look back at him, his eyes haven't moved from your face. Without thinking you inch yourself forward, which causes Kyungsoo to inch back. Your stomach sinks. You cannot believe you just did that. Why did you think that he would return a kiss?

"We should head back." He says, avoiding eye contact and clearing his throat.

You feel so embarrassed. You quickly whisper an apology before grabbing your things and taking off, hearing a faint "wait." From behind you. You're running through the words, desperately trying not to cry as you can hear Kyungsoo running behind you.

You finally slow down, trying to catch your breath as your lips quiver. You hear a stick break behind you. You turn around with a sigh, and come face to face with a zombie, snarling as he reaches out for you. You scream loudly as you try to fight it off, tripping in the process. You fall back with him on top of you as he tries to go in for a bite. Black bile is seeping from his mouth, his breath is rancid.

"Help!" You scream out, one hand trying to reach for something, anything that would help you take him out.

Suddenly his body goes limp and you hear the sound of a sword coming out of his head. You roll the body off of you, and see Chanyeol smiling above you.

"Thank you." You sigh in relief. Chanyeol puts out his hand to help you up, when he's attacked. Another zombie staggers up to him, latching his teeth to Chanyeol's neck. He screams out in agony as the monster devours him before your eyes.

"No!" You cry. You take Chanyeol's sword, putting the blade right through the zombie's skull. Chanyeol sinks to the ground, sobbing while he holds his neck. "I'm sorry." You cry. "I'm so so sorry."

"It's.. not.. your...fault." He breathes. "Tell them.. I love them.." he stutters.

Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Suho rush to Chanyeol's side. Baekhyun is sobbing while Kyungsoo and Suho hold back their tears.

"I didn't.. I didn't know there was a second one." You sob.

Kyungsoo walks over to you, his face stone cold. He wraps one arm around you, pulling you in close to him. "It's not your fault." He murmurs. The two of you stand there, watching the life drain from Chanyeol's eyes.

Baekhyun announces he will be the one to put Chanyeol down, but would like to do it in private. Three of you walk away from the sobbing man, your heart full of guilt.

The next day, the camp is quiet. You were busy making wood spears, like Chanyeol had taught you a few weeks ago. You couldn't even look at Baekhyun. You knew the two of them were best friends and your heart hurt so badly that Chanyeol died while trying to save you.

Had you not been so stupid and tried to kiss Kyungsoo, then this would never have happened. You knew this was your fault and there was nothing you could do to make it better. You can't bring Chanyeol back and you really wish you could.

"Careful." You hear from behind you. You turn your head and see Kyungsoo leaning against a tree. "If you keep sharpening it like that you're going to end up slicing your finger off." He tells you.

"This is how.. Chanyeol showed me how to do it." You say. You could barely speak his name.

Kyungsoo chuckles. "Yeah, he wasn't the best at doing it either." He crouches behind you, wrapping his arms around you to show you the proper way of doing it. Your heart still flutters as he touches you.

"Thank you." You whisper.

"Anytime." He says, standing up and walking away from you.

Fuck. You were so fucked.

That night you couldn't sleep. You stared at the empty spot beside you, where Chanyeol used to sleep. You could hear the small whimpers coming from Baekhyun and you just couldn't take it. You slowly slid out of your sleeping bag, slid on some shoes and climbed down the ladder. As you stand in the forest, you take a deep breath of fresh air. You need to gather your thoughts and heal yourself. You begin walking through the woods. It's quiet, and you didn't plan on going very far. As you're walking, you stop to listen. You hear a noise coming from in front of you but you didn't know what it was. You tried your best to hide behind the tree, limiting your breathing as you continue to listen. You can heat twigs breaking and leaves crunching. Your heart begins to race in your chest, you squeeze your eyes shut.This was a bad idea, you should not have left the tree house.

"What are you doing?" You hear from in front of you. You open your eyes and see Kyungsoo standing in front of you.

"I thought.. oh my god." You sigh. "I thought I was going to die."

Before he can say anything you both hear groans and snarls but you're not sure where from. You unintentionally let out a squeak. Kyungsoo covers your mouth with his hand, pushing you up against the tree. His body presses hard against yours, you can feel his hot breath against your neck.

The two of you stay like this for what feels like hours. When the sound is finally gone he pulls away from you.

"What are you doing out here?" He growls.

"I needed some air, and to think." You explain.

"You could die out here. This has to be your stupidest decision." Kyungsoo scoffs.

"No." You begin. Before your brain can tell you not to say anything, your mouth begins to move. "My stupidest decision was trying to kiss you." You say, turning away from him to walk away.

"I was surprised." He announces. "I didn't think you'd try and kiss me. I didn't think you'd even like me. I treated you terribly." He tells you.

"That's probably why I like you unfortunately." You sigh, making him laugh.

As the two of you are walking back towards the house, you hear whispers coming towards you. You both stop, hearing the sound of a gun loading, making you stop in your tracks. Kyungsoo pulls you behind him, moving both of you towards a bigger tree to hide behind.

"Show yourself walker." A man screams. "I know you're out there."

Neither of you say anything. Kyungsoo is against pressed up against your body, shielding you from any danger.

A while later you see a light flashing. It flashes towards your tree, making Kyungsoo push into you more, trying to keep the two of you hidden. The light passes the tree you're behind and continues to walk away. Neither of you move until the light is completely gone and out if sight. Both of you let out a sigh of relief but Kyungsoo doesn't move away from you. His face hovers close to yours, you can feel his breath on your face.

You wait. You wait for what you hope will happen but you don't think that it will come.

Until it does. Kyungsoo presses his lips to yours. You're shocked at first, until he begins moving his lips against yours and you get into it. You wrap your arms around his neck as he slips his tongue into your mouth. You moan into the kiss, making him groan.

"I want to fuck you." He says, his lips still just barely touching yours.

"I want you to fuck me." You breathe.

Kyungsoo turns you around, pushing you up against the tree. He kneels down, pulling down your sweat pants and underwear.

"Spread your legs." He demands.

You spread them as far as you can. You can hear the sound of his belt unbuckling behind you. Your pussy throbs in anticipation. You don't know how big or small he is, but you hope he destroys you. You couldn't even remember the last time you had been fucked at all.

Kyungsoo steps up behind you, taking two fingers and searching between your lips for your hole. He chuckles when he finds it, he can feel your juices dripping from inside of you. "So fucking wet." He groans, slowly pushing his two fingers inside you. Immediately you clench around them, it feels so good. "I needed to make sure you were wet enough, and fuck are you ever." He whispers in your ear.

He pulls his fingers out of you, and lines his cock up with your hold. You're bracing yourself on the tree as he pushes himself inside you. Your eyes practically roll back into your head as he stretches you out.

"Oh god." You cry, your fingernails digging into the tree bark.

"Shit." He cries, slowly pulling out of you before snapping his hips and harshly pushing his cock back inside. "It's gonna be quick." He groans.

That was fine with you, you knew you could rub your clit twice and cum, it had been too long.

Kyungsoo has his hands holding onto your hips as he snaps his, grunting and groaning from behind you. You reach between your legs, touching your clit. You begin to slowly rub it and you can already feel your intense orgasm already building up. You feel like you're going to cum already. His cock feels so nice sliding in and out of your pussy, the sound of his grunts and moans, with the feeling of his hot breath covering you and giving you shivers.

"Cum." He grunts. Your tighten your pussy around him as you orgasm washes over you, leaving your body feeling weak.

Kyungsoo moans loudly as he pulls out of you, jerking his cock to cum all over your ass. He lets out a string of swear words as he releases his load, breathing heavily as he works through it.

You both pull up your pants, and get situated. "We better get back." He says, walking back towarsa camp. You follow closely behind him, confused about your feelings for him, but more so his feelings for you, if there were any.

The next day you wake up with the thoughts of what happened last night over flowing through your head. You didn't know how to process this, or what was going to happen now. You decided to see how the day was going to play out and just go about your normal routine.

When you got downstairs you said hi to Suho, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Two of them said goodmorning back to you, and one did not. You tried to stop thinking about it but it was hard and you knew he wasn't the type of man to tell you his feelings.

However, all day he ignored you. Anytime you tried to say anything to him, he walked away, he refused to answer you and honestly you felt extremely disrespected. Your eyes burn as you fight off the tears, watching him talk and laugh with Baekhyun while you just get ignored.

Suho on the other hand most definitely noticed something was going on because a little while later you see Suho quietly yelling at Kyungsoo.

"I don't care what you did." Suho spits. "Fix it. I refuse to have a hole in our team because one of us is being a dick. Fucking fix it." He murmurs again before walking away.

That night you laid in your sleeping bag, wondering if this is what it was going to be like. You having feelings for Kyungsoo, and him taking advantage of it. Fucking you when it's convenient for him and ignoring you the rest of the time. Even after death, life was still so fucked.

You feel something pressing against you from behind. You slowly roll over and see Kyungsoo laying beside you in his sleeping bag.

"Can we talk?" He asks.

You nod your head.

"I." He begins. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I'm sorry for the things I said and for the way I acted when I found out about Jongdae. Its been hard to lose people, and it's even harder to accept new people into the group. You're doing a great job here and we're lucky to have you." He whispers.

"Thank you." You smile. But you really want to know why he ignored you all day. "What was going on today?" You ask.

"I enjoyed last night. I, um, had a girlfriend when this whole thing started. We got out together, we met up with Suho and Baekhyun and Chanyeol and she really helped build alot of this. I lost her a while ago, and it's been hard. I didn't think I would meet anyone, or fall for anyone else and then you came along. I feel guilty for liking you so much, like I'm cheating." He explains. "I was convincing myself it wasn't cheating."

"I get that. I was in a relationship when this thing started. Unfortunately for me, he ended up being one of the ones who received that does of vaccine. I had to leave him in our apartment and take off." You whisper. "You'll always have her memory with you and it's something you'll treasure. I didn't know her, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad and mourning her."

"You're right." He sighs. "It's hard to let go, but I do like you, Y/N. I want you to know that."

"I like you too." You smile.

The two of you lay there, whispering to eachother, laughing and enjoying the night. You couldn't have asked for anything better.

Over the next few weeks, the others had changed. With Chanyeol being gone, it took a toll on Baekhyun. He often sobbed at night, crawling next to you so you could rub his head while he cried. Your heart went out to him.

This life wasn't easy.

Suho had become much more grimmer and sullen. He barks orders at people, never engaging in coversations anymore. He's tired, everyone is tired with very little of hope for the future. Fighting for your lives everyday, scrounging for food and water is a struggle, however none of this stopped you and Kyungsoo from sneaking off when you could to be together.

Neither of you really talked when you weren't fucking and that was okay with you, you knew he still had feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you when no one was looking that reassured you. You both knew that announcing your relationship to Suho and Baekhyun would not end well, so keeping it between the two of you would be the best.

You announced to Baekhyun and Suho that you were going to the river, they both just nodded while Kyungsoo offered to be your watch.

It didn't take long for him to be pulling off your shirt and for you to slide off your pants and panties. Both of you walked into the cool water, soaking yourselves before Kyungsoo pulled you towards him. He lifts you up, letting you put your legs around him as he leans in for a kiss. You can feel his cock sliding against your pussy, waiting to be pushed in. He breaks the kiss, leaning down to pepper kisses along your neck as he thrusts, pushing himself inside of you.

You throw your head back as he holds you, fucking you harshly. There was never time to fuck slow, you always needed to be quick and get it done, just in case.

He pumps himself into you, his hand reaching between you and him, touching your sensitive bud and rubbing while he pounds his cock into you.

"Fuck baby." He groans. "You feel so fucking good."

You hold him close as your orgasm builds, biting your bottom lip and your hands gripping his hair. "Just like that." You breathe. "Don't stop." You grind yourself on him as you begin to cum, intensifying your orgasm. "Oh god yes." You moan, breathing heavily.

"I'm gunna cum." He moans, thrusting harder. Seconds later he releases himself, shooting his cum inside of you, his head resting on you as he catches his own breath.

"Fuck." He breathes pulling out of you. "I love you." He whispers.

You stare at him with wide eyes. This wasn't something you had been expecting at all, considering you did your best to hide the relationship at all costs. "I know it might be too soon, but I do and I need you to know that."

"I love you too." You smile.

You're brought out of your sweet moment when you hear screaming from Baekhyun and Suho. You both rush out of the water and get dressed as quick as you can before running back to camp.

"What?" You breathe. "What happened?"

Baekhyun and Suho grin as they stare at the radio. "Listen!" Baekhyun yells.

“Our dear citizens, to those who have survived. The WHO has created what promises to be a vaccine. We are asking all our citizens to make their way to the nearest hospital facility. Troops are being deployed along with helicopters and planes to transport as needed. Today … we have hope in the world again”

You all burst into tears. You did it, you survived and met some wonderful people. You have a love you had never thought you'd get again.

Kyungsoo embraces you tightly, crying into your shoulder as you do his. Quickly Suho and Baekhyun join your hug, all of you feeling such relief and happiness, for the first time in a long time.

As quick as you all can, you gather what you need to make the trek to find a hospital. You say a quick goodbye to your site that has kept you safe for so long, before taking off, hand in hand with Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun and Suho on either side of you.

It wasn't long into your journey, when you hear the familiar sounds of zombies wandering through the forest. The four of you prepare yourselves for a fight but as they come out, you realize there are more than you all had anticipated. You try to fight your way through the crowd, but somehow you're separated from the group, trying to take on more than you can. The others are distracted, they aren't paying attention to your calls for help. A zombie lunges at you, knocking you back. You're crying loudly but no one is coming to help. The other zombies kneel beside you as you keep trying to fight them off, but one takes a chunk out of your shoulder. You scream in agony as you lose your strength to fight. They're devouring you as you're fading into the darkness. You can hear Kyungsoo yell no and all the pain stops. You see him standing over you as you spit up blood. He's crying over your body, asking you to stay with him but you can't. You're tired of fighting, you want to let go now.

So you do.

You open your eyes and see a film over everything. Your body is sore, the scent of meat makes your mouth water and your stomach cramp. Everything feels stiff but something smells so good. Your hearing is better than ever, picking up the sound of a rapid beating heart and the sound of crying. Wait…Where’s my heart beat? You look with horror at the meat...

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I love you.” You reach out to stop the knife but your body is stiff and I responsive as you watch the knife plunging towards you. It’s me you scream in your head as it all goes dark

There is no happiness in life after death.

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