growing up with a perpetually anxious primary caregiver is such a mindfuck. that shit will rewire your nervous system

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

I’ve made a billion fucking drafts and can’t find the words to talk about cellbit and bagi from today. how the fuck do you explain the intricacies between a brother who has lived a life that has sharpened him to cut what he touches, and a sister who had to live with his absence? a man who has to see the childhood he never got to have whenever he looks at the woman he now knows is his twin? said twin who cannot understand why her brother would be anything but glad they are reunited? how do you get across that tangled mess of emotions cellbit had to get him to burn his old pet worm? the paradox of longing for what could have been while desperate to get rid of any reminder, with a healthy dose of paranoia that anything could be a federation bug. or the pure devotion bagi has to decide to stick with her brother even though he is not close to the same as he was when he went missing? the unfairness of it all, of cellbit being taken and made into a killer before he turned 14, of bagi looking for him at the detriment of her own safety and self, of ripped up childhoods and everything that could have been? the fact that the first thing cellbit asks is what he could have done to deserve it? the disgust he holds for himself for what he’s done, and the anger he has for the federation that’s taken everything from him, and the resentment he has towards bagi no matter how unfair it is because she never had to go through what he did? how after bagi swore to help him burn the federation down, cellbit went to bad instead, because bad was there and fought alongside him, and he trusts bad because he’s seen him at his worst, and all he feels like doing is his worst right now? the two of them so similar still because they’re consumed by their need for revenge, while bagi just wants to leave the island? how the fuck can you summarize all this and the emotions that accompany it?

If you're having a bad day but think you don't deserve someone or even yourself being nice to you:

Shane, even at his lowest, has the farmer want to see him and care about hearing how he's doing. Even when he was at his meanest/lowest points in the game, everyone that collectively put in the effort to see those hearts with him rise up knew what they were walking into. They still came by sometimes every single day they could to give him something they hoped he liked and talked to him to see how he was doing. They genuinely wanted to see him smiling and happy with his aunt and niece and get better. Whether platonically or romantically they care for him

You deserve your own farmer.

You deserve to treat yourself like how the farmer treats Shane when they're trying to get his heart events

tired of people who want pjo movie references in the disney+ show. "logan lerman should've been-" i don’t care. "poker face in the casino-" actually i hope ms. gaga keeps her entire discography miles away from it. i don't care move on

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

I've recently come across a couple of season 4 fanfics that dealt with the Chat Noir feeling left out and quitting thing and every time I read one I can't help but think "man did they chose the wrong side of the masks AND the wrong characters for this conflict. Chat Noir comes across terribly here". It's weird to see people try and justify his behavior and act like Ladybug was in the wrong.

Was Ladybug being the best friend ever? No, but friendship is secondary when they're wearing the masks. Paris comes first. Chat Noir quitting because he doesn't feel special enough is literally him endangering everyone he loves because his crush isn't paying enough attention to him and I truly can't tell if the show wanted us to feel like he was in the right or the wrong here. In Kuro Neko, Catwalker actually does acknowledge the lesson he needed to learn

There's nothing wrong with you. Maybe the boy who was Cat Noir was more sensitive than it seemed. But his feelings for you shouldn't force you to pay more attention to him than to others. You take care of everybody equally, Ladybug. 

And Chat Noir apologizes at the end of the episode for causing Ladybug trouble, but the whole thing is incredibly lackluster. They don't actually have a meaningful conversation about why he was feeling that way and the rest of the season seems to present Ladybug as being in the wrong, especially the final! Trusting Alya leads to nothing meaningful and not trusting Chat Noir loses her the miraculous. Basically, I still have no idea what season 4 was trying to do with this conflict and it's been dropped forever now that Adrien is fully reduced to nothing more than arm candy.

HOWEVER, this basic setup could have been a fantastic b plot if the "Adrien doesn't feel needed" conflict wasn't a Ladynoir conflict, but was instead a conflict between Adrien and Nino. Move Rocketear up to earlier in the season and have the fallout from that be that Adrien's relationship with Nino is strained. He can still feel leftout because Ladybug has a bigger team now, but instead of him pouting about it and skipping fights, focus on how that need for connection has transferred to his civilian life, but he doesn't have Kagami or Nino now and he's lost. Then you can either have an Adrien and Nino b plot because that relationship needs more screen time OR you use this to make Adrien and Marinette start to grow closer because Rocketear's fallout is also Alya paying more attention to Nino. Then, when season 5 does the whole crush switch, it actually feels earned.

matrophobia

Here’s an interesting thought experiment. I was reading your post about the Commando app Beta 2.1 vs 3.1 debate and whether there was an Alpha app or a Beta 1.1. What if there was an Alpha app and Douglas tried it with Adam, the original bionic but it didn’t work right and caused some brain damage which is why Adam is like that? Douglas then realized that if he was going to put the Commando app in a bionic’s head that he needed to completely rewire their brain to be able to handle actually having information downloaded like a computer. By the time he realized this Bree was too far along so he turned his attention to the next subject. He made Chase more computer like and did a bunch of stuff that would allow Chase to handle actual changes to his brain from outside influences. It’s why Chase has the Commando and override app. The other two can’t have actual apps in their heads like that because they weren’t created to handle things like that.

Yayyy another person to talk about Spike/the Commando App with!!

And this is such an interesting thought that I love!! These are all great connecting ideas too, the idea that Chase has these apps because he has a computer in his mind to process and handle it all unlike his siblings and not just because his main ability is super intelligence. After all, he does have more room for upgrades than his siblings. I love this idea!

I do wonder though if after Douglas were to hypothetically do this he went and gave Adam and Bree some from of compatibility to their chips since Chase can connect to them essentially through bluetooth. But him having the computer not only for his intelligence but also for his apps and to process the use and control of these apps alongside his normal brain is really something to think about. Not only that, but he does have a bunch of wiring inside his head and a bunch of different scanners from his bionic eyes that are also linked to his computer system too (identifying people, fingerprint scanning, etc.)

And with the Commando App, we see that in both versions, especially the first one we see in 1x03, that there is a bunch of coding that appears during the activation and deactivation of the app. This almost seems to imply too that the app truly is still not 100% complete, which matches with the Beta version we see.

We also see that the Commando App has an entire targeting system connected to Spike's vision. In the first version this comes in the form of Spike scanning the threat's face before completely locking onto the target as an "imminent threat."

In the second version, this just comes in the form of a literal target being in Spike's vision. He also has a gauge that measures his aggression level, which obviously varies for him. Not only that, but on the right side of Spike's vision he has gauges to measure speed and visibility presumably of his target, which is kind of scary lol.

A mystery however is why does the chip interrupter not only not work on the Commando App, but instead makes Spike more aggressive? It most likely has something to do with affecting the computer system in Chase. Maybe it doesn't work because Spike is an app and is potentially more linked to the computer in Chase than his chip? Is it just a glitch in general? Is Spike's aggression increase also a glitch or is it a defense mechanism against an outside influence? Who knows!

One last thing to note is the fact that after Spike takes a hard hit from Perry, it actually causes an error in Chase's computer system and glitches the Commando App out and forces it to disengage. Maybe this is something that would "naturally" happen or this is another example of the incomplete app being unstable (because one would imagine that this caliber of app and its purpose of fighting shouldn't be able to glitch out and shut down after a hard hit)

Another intriguing thought is that a few of Chase's abilities are apps but are considered "abilities" like the Commado App or his Magnetism App, if that makes sense. Some of his "abilities" are directly related to his computer system as apps compared to his normal "abilities" like his laser bo or forcefield. I just thought that that was interesting to point out because I never really realized that until now!

There's a lot to think about with this, and since we were never meant to dive this deep into because it's a Disney XD show, there's a lot to play around with!

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

Fuck it. I'm gonna bite the bait just to say that there were many instances where jc clearly trated wwx like a brother/friend in the BOOK, aka the canon text in case anyone was confused or have seemed to have selectively forgotten about.

From the part where jc scoffs at the prospect of wwx getting together with a servant. Laughing and proclaiming that he was treated better than he was (in reference to his own sister peeling his lotus seeds for him which she didn't do for jc).

Then there was him standing up for him on NUMEROUS occasions throughout the book. Such as before the LP Massacre. He could have let his mother beat wwx senseless, but he tried to stop her from doing so, begging and crying even for her to stop and take the punishment for him. Despite the risk it took to do so.

Not to mention the excuses he made to the rest of the cw after the war when he stood up for wwx and shrugged off his casual and overly familiar demeanour.

Then ofc there was the sacrifice he made for wwx (which he didn't have to do as the only male sect heir) whilst they were on the run from the Wens that ultimately led up to the events in the novel..

The Cloud Recesses era.. the part after jfm gave away his dogs and jc steadily welcomed wwx in his life, willing to scare away any dogs that threatened him..

These are all things a nasty, homophobic rich man would NEVER do for his servant if he only saw them as such.

If he was classist as you all seem to think he is, then he would never dream of doing all the above CANON EVENTS for wwx's sake. Js.

These were all in the book. To ignore them, that means you are ignoring mxtx's work and you clearly did not understand the complicated relationship wwx and jc had.

Because it was made clear throughout the text that jc never saw him as a servant. They shared a room, went to school together and made HUGE sacrifices for eachother. So much so, that their relationship pissed of jc's mother.

If you ignore that then you are ignoring a VERY IMPORTANT part of the text. And I have to wonder if y'all only came into the fandom for the mlm relationship between wwx and lwj and not the the story. Clearly, y'all are selectively ignoring some very IMPORTANT facts. Js. This book is MORE than just a bl........

And if that's the case, then you have no place arguing jc canon facts. Js.

Just a reminder that if you live in northern latitudes, especially ones that have a lot of gray days without sunshine, it's time to start taking your vitamin D supplements (yes, even people who don't have SAD should ask a health care professional about their vitamin D levels... many people have a deficiency and don't realize it, and it can be very difficult for some people to get enough just from their diet, especially if you don't see the sun at all for weeks at a time in the winter).

not to be a hater but it does drive me insane how so many online conversations are so centered around sidon and yona (and link 😞) and not any of the delicious narratives that totk gave us

like why should we talk about rauru and sonia and their relationship w zelda? why would we talk about zelda and how her relationship w link progressed post calamity? oh are we gonna talk about the sheer insanity that is ZELDA TURNIJG INTOA. FUCKING DRAGON??? no??? shipping discourse over sharks? ok

not to swing a bat at a hornet's nest but it really does feel like specifically mlm ships take precedence in fandom spaces over EVERYTHING else regardless of whether the ship in question actually has like. any canon backing whatsoever. like totk specifically, a ton of the story revolves around zelda, a female character which certain fans notoriously hate for the crime of. being a woman with feelings. like gee i wonder why we all simultaneously decided to ignore the story of this one. i wonder why we really really really want to focus on this random male side character's incredibly minor story instead of the literal titular character of the game. could it perhaps be because some of us are predisposed to ignore and dismiss women in all contexts. could it be perhaps that we don't want to reckon with a woman we didn't like in the last game reclaiming her agency and healing from her trauma and being a positive driving force in the narrative and would rather talk about 2 men and how lame and stupid the woman who dares to exist inbetween them is instead. hmm

Spent my day working on some more art and obviously I had to draw Din 🤍 Now complete with a shiny new paint pen (I may have gotten a bit high off the fumes sgkjkds) so I can do our shiny space cowboy justice 🥹

Pleased with how these turned out especially after a few months away from creating any art! It felt so good to just sit down and let my mind focus on the page rather than other things.

(I used a combination of paint pens, charcoal pencils for the drawings and blended oil pastels for the backgrounds.)

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!