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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 18)

Hiya! I'm posting late, on account of my job. Editing these takes about an hour depending on the post and inserting the images takes a little more, but I didn't have a solid block of time to work on it, so I worked on it in pieces and I only just now finished.

This arc highlights Natsume's powerlessness. He's distancing himself from Mikan to protect her, but by doing this, he leaves her defenseless at times. He wants to be there for her but can't because of the corner he's been pushed into, and in his desperation he turns to anonymity.

Chapter Eighty-One

Hotaru, Natsume, and Ruka are running after them, but are caught by Tsubasa, who asks them what their plan is, exactly. Ruka turns to Natsume, who turns to Hotaru, who pretends she was just practicing her running for the Festival and then the boys started following her for no reason. This comic relief is a badly-needed break from all the bullying and blackmail of the arc so far.

This arc is full of fun comic relief, but the main plot is so depressing and frustrating that sometimes the comic relief is not enough.

In any case, all three of them know that the others are all working to take care of Mikan, even if she doesn't know it. They're all looking out for her in their own ways, even Natsume who seems to have publicly turned against her. At least Hotaru and Ruka can see the truth: he's still quite concerned about it, but he's in something of a bind now.

The next we see of Natsume, he’s walking with Tsubasa, being spied on by both Hotaru and Ruka. It’s here that we discover that Tsubasa has been transferred to the DA class, but is keeping this secret from Mikan. Moreover, he and Natsume are on a mission to locate Yuka, and they’re both aware that Mikan is her daughter. It’s interesting to know just how much information the DA class has on the other students that the other kids have no clue about. Hotaru and Ruka are shocked by this information, but for us as readers, it also demonstrates just how much work Natsume--and Tsubasa--are putting into protecting Mikan.

All this information is stuff they have to consider on their missions. They want to protect Yuka, because she’s Mikan’s mother, but they have no choice but to pursue and chase after her with raids and attacks. On top of that, Tsubasa is keeping his new ability class a secret, and Natsume has to hurt her with this Luna farce. It’s a lot to put on two kids, not that the ESP or Persona have much issue putting pressure on kids.

For Natsume in particular, it was fun while it lasted, being close to Mikan. He had relished and enjoyed it, and now he has to change pace. He’s willing to, because that’s how he can keep her smiling and having fun, even if he’s not on her team and can’t even be in her inner circle anymore. He’s willing to sacrifice anything for her, but we can see that it’s not any fun for him. Mikan is suffering in sadness, yes, but so is Natsume.

The next thing he has to do only makes things worse.

He confronts Mikan about the rumor Luna made up, about Mikan showing her underwear to the Fuukitai to avoid punishment. It’s obviously bogus: Mikan would never even think to do that, let alone actually do it. He knows that too, because Natsume knows her very well. He asks because he has to.

Mikan avoids answering, brushing it off as none of Natsume’s business, because she is also under Luna’s watchful gaze. So they end up having an argument in front of everyone, both not saying what they really mean, and instead doing as Luna commands, to keep everyone safe. Mikan points out that she isn’t his partner--or anything--anymore, so he should mind his business. Natsume then asks if that means his concern is a bother, and she confirms: yes. It’s a big fat pain.

It's heartbreaking and frustrating in equal spades.

It’s almost as if Natsume was testing something. Now he knows that Luna must have threatened Mikan in the storeroom. Something sinister happened there, and now Mikan is different, dishonest, mean. That’s not what she’s actually like, and now he’s concerned. Luna’s shadow is spreading and it’s threatening to encroach on Mikan’s light.

Chapter Eighty-Two

Natsume walks off, having heard all he needs to hear.

Luna is causing mayhem and strife to punish Mikan and Natsume specifically for their misbehavior on New Year’s. She wants Mikan to be isolated from Natsume in particular because he’s her number one protector. If there’s a wedge between them, Mikan is easier to target. After all, Mikan’s purpose at the academy is to lure in Yuka, and the more danger she is in, the more likely Yuka is to try and save her daughter. If Natsume is around, threatening Mikan becomes tricky. He’d never allow anything bad to happen to her, hence his desperation and sacrifice in this arc. In order to fulfill their goals regarding Yuka, they need Natsume out of Mikan’s picture.

Of course, despite Natsume’s secret intel being superior to Ruka or Hotaru’s (and definitely to Mikan’s), he’s still not entirely in the know. Yuka being the main target, for example, is information Natsume is not privy to, and couldn’t even imagine. This is a game Natsume is unaware that he cannot win. If he doesn’t distance himself from Mikan, she’ll be threatened, but if he does, she’ll be threatened. In reality, there's no way he can win this round.

Chapter Eighty-Three

Anyway, the Sports Fest doesn’t slow down for the kids’ drama. The athletic meets have begun, and now there is a relay race.

Ruka and Natsume are on different teams for the relay, and this has inspired Ruka to beat his best friend, so he can be number one in Mikan’s eyes for once.

I will talk way more about the “love triangle” aspect of NatsuMikan and the question of choice, autonomy, and agency in Mikan’s essay, because when it comes to Natsume's side of things, he's very much resigned to losing every romantic game, every relay race, every competition. It's no contest. He's not competing. He's withdrawn from the race, now more than ever. He will not participate. He is destined to lose, after all, so why even bother?

And so Ruka wins the actual relay, and Natsume watches as everyone has fun without him, something that he’s been accustomed to before. It hurts more now, undoubtedly, because for a time, he was actually a part of the group. Knowing what it feels like to fit in and have fun with everyone makes it even worse when it’s gone again. He used to separate himself from the rest and suffer all on his own, but now he’s returned to that state.

He hasn’t quite let go, either. His effort and commitment to the Sports Fest, despite all the drama with Mikan and Luna, demonstrate just how much he actually wants to participate. It’s not about having his friends around him. He actually likes being able to have fun, and be allowed to take part in an event with everyone else, even if he isn’t technically by his friends’ sides.

His bad feelings are only exacerbated by Luna, who shows up to taunt him. He shouldn’t worry about Mikan and Ruka, because they’ll be torn apart eventually. Whatever happiness they find right now is temporary. It won’t last, and Luna will make sure of it.

But Natsume loves both Mikan and Ruka, and that does not reassure him at all. He’s selfless, would rather they be together anyway. In a perfect world, maybe she could pick him, and it makes him sad that the world isn’t perfect and he can’t have what he wants, but he’s always at peace with losing. So he’s not at all comforted by the idea that the happiness his loved ones have found will dissipate in no time.

Chapter Eighty-Four

Luna then giggles, because whether or not Ruka and Mikan’s being split apart will result in Natsume’s happiness is another question entirely. She wants to rub it in that even if Ruka is out of the picture, he can never be with Mikan. Joke’s on her though, because Natsume has already come to terms with this the moment he fell in love with Mikan. He hasn’t been humoring ideas of love confessions and weddings and living happily ever after. It’s outside the realm of possibility, because his circumstances do not allow him much happiness at all.

The future seems bleaker than ever, and knowing that Ruka and Mikan are being kept under watch by the school, Natsume keeps an eye on them too. He’s feeling sad and heart-broken too, of course. He’s not perfect. He can’t erase feelings of jealousy or the ache of unrequited love just because he feels it’s his duty to make peace with them. It hurts, but he’ll carry through. That’s what he’s always done.

But people are gossiping about his presence, putting his position in jeopardy. Luna can’t know he’s still hanging around Mikan, even if Mikan herself is clueless to this. Before he can be discovered, he steals someone’s mask, the mask of a boy named Kusami whose hairstyle looks an awful lot like Natsume’s.

If only he could be allowed to just steal people's identities and not have to face any consequences for it. Alas.

Unfortunately for Natsume, the Borrowing Race is about to begin, and Kusami was arranged to be a participant. He put the mask on to avoid responsibility for his spying, but it’s bit him in the butt now.

Kusami benefits from this, indirectly, since kids who call him moron get the cold shoulder from Natsume, who doesn’t have the same easy-going personality.

It seems nobody actually wants to participate in the Borrowing Race. It’s very personal and vulnerable: you have to borrow a person or item you’d least want to borrow, as dictated on a small piece of paper assigned to you. It’s then judged by some mind-reading alices to test the validity of the borrowed items. The concept of the race functions around embarrassing and humiliating people, so naturally nobody would want to participate.

Natsume has gotten himself into trouble here. He can’t even make a run for it, though he really wants to, because for some reason people are hell-bent on Kusami competing. He’s in the second round, and starts running as he--or Kusami--is supposed to. He gets his paper and although we don’t see what’s written on it quite yet, we can see a focus on Mikan in one of the panels, so we can tell his first thought is to borrow her.

To confess anonymously in front of the whole school or to not confess anonymously in front of the whole school--that is the question.

And then in a few pages, emboldened by the mask he’s wearing, Natsume runs toward Mikan and grabs her wrist. He’s decided he will borrow her, because maybe she’ll never find out his true identity, and he can be selfish just this once. This could be his only chance ever to be honest about how he feels. He's had to lie and hide it for so long that it makes sense he'd take the first opportunity available to go for it. This is quite possibly the most selfish thing he’s done. If he gets caught, he’ll be entirely exposed.

Unlike Ruka, Natsume can't really win this race. He won't be number one in Mikan's eyes, ever. He can't ever tell her it's all for her. The very best he can do is compete with a mask on. Ruka can try his hardest and impress Mikan and Natsume feels he never will. It's not much of a competition when one person cannot and will not compete.

He runs, despite her confusion and obliviousness, or perhaps because of it.

And just as the fireworks displaying his prompt start going off in the sky, he lets her go and walks away resolutely. There. He’s participated.

“The person you love.”

Mikan is chasing after Natsume, but he can’t be caught. Being caught would ruin everything, and would make his selfish act even more selfish. He shoves the mask back into Kusami’s face, and takes off.

You'd think he'd be a bit happier to have finally confessed his feelings but he just looks miserable.

Natsume has been very selfish now. He didn’t have to grab Mikan. He could’ve borrowed anybody and lost. Does it matter if he wins? He’s not Kusami. He could’ve just gotten the race over with and run away, but instead he played along, because he wanted to confess. He’s never been so honest in his life. He wants her to know he loves her, even if she doesn’t know who “he” is. And if he gets caught, then Mikan will know for a fact that Natsume Hyuuga loves her, and everything he’s done so far--hyping up Ruka, distancing himself, being cruel to protect her, allowing Luna to cling to him--will have been for nothing. She’ll know it was all a ruse, and then she’ll be open to all sorts of dangers. But he risks it, because he just can’t hide it anymore. He always has to hide, always has to pretend, always has to sacrifice his own feelings for the sake of others. This time, he’ll say exactly what he means, made all the more easier by the fact that there’s a mask on his face.

He’s done something like this before, particularly when he kissed Mikan on Christmas.

And the Christmas kiss is nothing compared to this: an actual love confession. The kiss was just that, and he had plenty of excuses for why he’d kiss her. It wasn’t because he loved her, no way! It was because she kept saying the other one didn’t count. Or maybe he just wanted to know what it felt like. That’s all. The excuses were just another mask to hide behind.

What excuse could he possibly give for a love confession that a panel of mind-reading judges corroborated? If he’s caught, she will know.

All his tiny instances of selfishness are smaller examples of the same idea: he lets himself be affectionate for once. He can say he prefers her with her hair down, or hug her during the SA class labyrinth, or cuddle with her when he’s having a nightmare, just this one time, and then he’ll give up for good. She won’t notice. It won’t have an effect. It won’t have consequences. He’ll give up for good after; he’ll just do this one selfish thing and then never again. But he can’t give it up, and eventually Christmas happens. He kisses her, unloading so much affection into one action, as if he’s trying to just get it over with. He’ll just get all his love out with one kiss and then he’ll be okay to watch her fall in love with anybody else but him.

But he can’t. He can’t stop doing these little selfish things. He can’t suffocate his love and leave it to die, hidden and smothered like a skeleton in a closet. Despite his every attempt to kill it, to hide it, to pretend like it’s not important, it has only grown stronger. He loves her more and more everyday, and the more he loves her, the harder it is to pretend like he doesn’t care if he never gets what he wants.

He wants to be with her. He wants to kiss her and protect her openly. He wants to sit next to her in class and smile with her. He wants to spend time with her and be on her team for school events. He wants to hold her hand and tell her he loves her.

He doesn’t want to give it all up and wreck his own chances.

The longer he’s loved Mikan, the harder it’s been to be selfless like this. The yearning has only gotten stronger, and now it takes all his power to be cruel to her. What used to come naturally, like being cold and distant and insulting her, has become difficult. What comes naturally to him now is to confess his love or hold her hand or be around her.

Despite the fact that Natsume was the only person who seems to have borrowed the correct person for the race, the White team still loses, on account of him not actually being Kusami.

At the end of the chapter, he sits alone, brooding in a tree.

He hasn’t been caught, so his actions have no consequences for now. He can sit there and mourn what could have been. He can’t be with Mikan, let alone confess his feelings. This was just an excuse to live out a fantasy. He wants to be loud about his feelings, not muffle them. But this is Natsume we’re talking about. He never gets what he wants. And in his opinion, he shouldn’t because Ruka deserves a happy ending way more. And Mikan would never love him back anyway. Ruka would be better for her.

This is just another instance of Natsume promising himself that he’ll do one more selfish thing before he gives up forever. But we know he’s bad at keeping his word, and this is no exception.

Chapter Eighty-Five

Before Mikan can confront Natsume about the borrowing race, Luna steps in, covering for him, claiming she was watching with him from the bleachers during the race. She clings to his arm and drags him off, spurring even more rumors that he and Luna are an item.

She's so violent with him for really no reason.

He tells her to get off, but she reminds him that she’s just done him a favor (though it’s really just a favor to herself). She grabs his hand and holds it tight, and again people get the wrong idea. It’s interesting how such physically painful things come across as romantic to the people around them, who think that Luna is simply holding his hand. Natsume’s persistent look of misery and apathy doesn’t deter people at all from rumors that he’s dating her. After all, Luna is clinging to him with a smile on her face and he’s not doing anything to peel her off, so it must mean they have feelings for each other. Natsume has been so good at hiding his feelings, that nobody--not even the girl he really loves--knows what it looks like when he’s loving and affectionate to somebody. They think he's into Luna, and can't see that what he really needs is help.

Chapter Eighty-Six

Luna has just arranged a terrifying fall for Mikan, knowing she’d use her alice as a knee-jerk reaction to save herself, thus causing others to think she did it for the attention. Mikan could’ve been seriously injured, or worse, and is definitely in trouble now, so Natsume is furious.

He confronts Luna, and the only thing stopping him from hurting her is that he could put Mikan in even more danger by doing so. But Luna is remorseless, giggling that she had no choice but to threaten Mikan. After all, she’s just doing what the principal said they’d do. Mikan should have been put in Persona’s custody in the DA class immediately following the Hana Hime party incident, but Natsume’s sacrifices have allowed her to skate by. Luna is there to observe and punish what she perceives as bad behavior, and anything less than abject misery from Mikan is bad behavior to her.

She warns Natsume: if he really wants to protect Mikan, then he’ll make sure she’s hated. That way, she won’t be in danger.

Powerlessness.

Natsume can’t go around confessing his love to her with a mask on anymore. He needs to sacrifice their relationship entirely in order to keep her safe. And so he does.

He’s sitting on a bench, surrounded by his classmates. Permy is adamantly defending Mikan. These rumors that Mikan fell on purpose for the attention are obviously stemming from Luna, who has the whole class wrapped around her finger. She turns to Natsume, looking for back-up, but Natsume has been told clearly what to do in order to really protect Mikan, and it has nothing to do with standing up for her against these rumors.

Instead, he says that it’s best not to be involved with Mikan anymore. He doesn’t want to see her or hear about her anymore, and he doesn’t want to associate with anyone who associates with her. He tries to give off the impression that he hates her, that he’s disgusted by her.

Then he sees that she’s been there all along, listening.

This is almost like the scene where he tells her he hates everything about her. He’s doing the hard thing to protect her. He’s lying, willing to hurt her, willing to be the villain, if it means she’s in the light and out of the dark.

But this is different.

Mikan could take it before. She yelled back that she hated him too, just as much, and even though that was a lie, it was still something she was able to say. She could argue and fight. This time she crumbles and runs away.

And he’s different too. Before, he could walk away, resolute and determined. Knowing that she’ll be better off this way was enough for him. He didn’t even look back. This time, he can’t leave things like that.

After all, last time was easier. He didn’t think she actually liked him back then. It would really only hurt him. He knows better now. Mikan cares about him, and it doesn’t matter what shape that care takes. It only matters that hearing Natsume call her worthless brings her to tears now, and that’s enough for him to feel way more conflicted.

This time, he apologizes.

He doesn't say he's sorry, but he's saying he's sorry.

He finds Kusami, steals his mask once again, never saying one word to a kid who has been generously keeping his secret for him. He runs after Mikan, and when he finally catches up to her, he hugs her.

Wearing the mask while hugging her is like wearing a raincoat in a hurricane. It won’t change anything or protect him at all. In fact, all he’s doing is giving her confirmation that it’s him, but he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t want her to think he hates her. He can’t stand it anymore. He’s sorry and he didn’t mean it.

He hugs her and this is different from his selfish hugs during the RPG or when he was having a nightmare. Those were little stolen moments for him to remember. He could take them from Mikan and cherish them as precious memories, even if she never thought of them again. This one is different. This one is for her, to comfort her, to apologize.

It’s all the things he can’t say. I didn’t mean it. Sorry. I have to do this. I really do care about you, I promise. It’s not real. Luna’s making me do this.

But before she can turn around to look at him, he leaves again.

He knows, because of Luna’s warning, that Mikan’s life will only get harder. He wants to help her, but by helping her, he’s placing himself further from her, making it harder for him to protect her in the future. If he’s distant from her to keep Luna at bay, then he’s not around to protect her from Luna in the storeroom, or during the cheerleading competition.

It’s what one might call a Catch-22. No matter what he chooses, he loses. And the worst part is that so does Mikan.

Conclusion

Natsume isn't an active participant in the last few chapters of this arc, so this is how I'll wrap the meta here. In the next arc there will be much to say about him. The Sports Fest went deep into Natsume's love for Mikan. It's not surprising that his love inspires selflessness. Natsume will always put others in front of himself and the more he loves someone, the more fervent he is about self-sacrifice. The truly beautiful thing about Natsume's love for Mikan is that it inspires selfishness too. And I never mean selfish as bad when I'm talking about Natsume. His love for Mikan is special in that it makes him want things for himself too.

I'm having doubts about being able to post tomorrow, so I apologize for only two posts this week. Expect normal posting next week at the very least! This essay is probably more than halfway through already, though I can't say for sure how much is left. Where I am now in terms of essay-writing is already deep in the Time-Travel Arc and as a result there's entire chapters I've skipped. Like. Seven in a row at times. Yikes. So basically we're pretty far in!

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marimopeace · 3 years

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d. gray-man still fucks me up...

in the best of ways, even after all these years plus breaks on my end as a fan and hoshino's circumstances.

loved all things gothic and fantasy in middle school to escape my life via power-wielding teens (i.e. 07-ghost, pandora hearts, soul eater, karneval, hakkenden, etc.) and d.gray-man was huge for me since i was still in a phase where i was binging all the long anime series i could since it gave my attn span something to latch onto and be immersed in for a good amount of time. tbh i can't tell if my attn span has gotten even shorter considering i usually substitute streaming social media videos over tv nowadays or better since i'm able to better sustain interests in specific niche things?

i switched to consuming content on a more seasonal basis in high school but i became more of a manga reader so at the time i was still on the nose for the rare new d.gray-man chapter. i was so excited for when hallow was announced! i think the hallow promo visuals + posters were some of the last things i shared on my old tumblr blog actually lmao. didn't love hallow as a show but i loved it for what it brought back to me in terms of bringing hoshino's drawings to life via sound + color and seeing ppl turn into fans via gifs in comment sections. that's part of the reason why the furuba reboot meant a lot to me too tbh! always so nice when you can see new and old fans come together to show artists the love they deserve <3

took a break from d.gray-man specifically since the searching for a.w. arc was just a lot for me to take in chapter by chapter since it was hard to keep track of intricate plot details without needing to re-read some chapters for every release and that's not how i enjoy content personally. and i guess from there life just kind of ? came and went? college + growing up in general with new life obligations have changed the way i pursue entertainment aha.

i don't know what switched it on but i ended up spending this past weekend going through everything from scratch! i haven't sat down to marathon 100+ chapters/episodes of anything in a long time since i either keep up with shorter serials now or keep up with things on a monthly basis and wowwww the immersion hit different this time fr XD i swear i felt like a kid again!

but wow going through the entire manga + anime bit by bit from my new position in life really made me appreciate hoshino's storytelling a lot more; it's not so much that the plot of d.gray-man aged well, but that the whole series works together to tell one of the most cohesive stories i've seen for a fantasy shonen (esp with such a young protagonist--allen is the age of a high school sophomore!!!!!! a literal child!!!! someone be on his side kthxJohnny).

when i say i went through bit by bit i MEAN IT i fully had a list of episodes via wikipedia out and i was going through chapter arcs as they were recreated in the old anime series i went in completely XD god i'm crazy.

but it felt so sweet and so wonderful to dive into the adventure head-on.

i'm trying to do the same with the hallow sequel but reading/watching d.gray-man like this is really making me see how rushed it was ^^; it's taking more chapters to get to where each episode of hallow ends and i get why hoshino was so peeved with both shows now to be honest for the out of order details or skipping of content.

i'm also really resonating with hoshino's anger towards TMS for the hallow promo materials and i get why she went as far as to shoot their bank accounts in the foot bc the way i started tearing up during hallow episode 6 with talk of the lotus, flashbacks, and the hand reaching up to the sky....ㅠㅠ #bigoop

kanda shouldn't have been shoved into a yaoi narrative for the sake of money (nor allen esp considering his age) since it completely goes against his character arc and everything he is with alma. i'm getting so fucked up by their past lives' love story and their current again like when i say the tears i'm shedding come from something so old and deep inside of me ㅠㅠ (oh lorde it's so sad!!)

i had to pause my marathon since i spent my monday without wifi bc of a storm in my area and it'll prob be a while until i can finish re-reading/watching until the end of hallow. i'm excited to read new saying goodbye to a.w chapters though! i know it'll definitely be worth waiting these past few years <3 seeing allen's character growth as he matured as a "destroyer who saves" and how he grapples w mana's influence is fascinating and exploring the nitty-gritty of the morality that pervades the Black Order is just! ugh love this kind of worldbuilding with strong characters sm

planning this next content binge will be tricky though since i meant to catch up on the furuba reboot before it ends next week...welp i'll see how this goes ^^;

// time to get to writing this thesis marimo! //

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addictedtostorytelling · 3 years

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Hello!!! Hope you’re doing well!!! I’m back for my weekly csi: vegas gsr freak out 😂 despite being baited and deceived by not getting that gsr kiss, that scene in the end almost dissolved me into giggles! (they finally got Sara and Grissom’s sides of the bed right!) I loved the interrogation scenes, esp Sara talking about the events of Nesting Dolls and them just constantly referring to each other as “my husband” and “my wife” 🥺 I also love the callbacks to the old episodes, especially Rashomama - aka my fave episode!!

Quick question though: did we finally get confirmation that they basically got together shortly after Nesting Dolls? When Sara said that “he was just there”, I got the picture that Grissom stayed with her through the night just until his shift (like you mentioned in your metas) and I could also see him being with her (or like, constantly checking up/visiting her) throughout her suspension. This information feels very vindicating lol

Thanks again for answering our questions ^u^ I love seeing all the hype and excitement on here!!

hi, @cptn-stvngrntrgrs!

so i've talked about this issue a little bit here, but i don't think we did get confirmation that grissom and sara first get together in episode 05x13 "nesting dolls."

episode 05x13 "nesting dolls" has, of course, always been a possibility for the get-together date, and it remains one now.

though i don’t myself think that episode 05x13 “nesting dolls” is actually the get-together date, i do acknowledge it as the earliest possible point at which the (vegas) get-together could have potentially happened.

however, i don't believe that what sara says in reboot episode 01x04 "long pig" necessarily confirms that it is the date™—and, in fact, the more i watch the interview scene, the less convinced i am that that's what she's actually even talking about at all.

for me, context in this scene is important.

i've talked here about what exactly sara is trying to accomplish during this exchange with nora cross, and i think her goals very much factor in to the information she conveys.

remember: she's trying to get cross to view her as an overly-emotional wife trying to defend her husband's reputation. in order to present herself that way, she is pretending to be much more upset than she actually is about cross's earlier assertions that she and grissom allowed themselves to be distracted by their "whirlwind romance" back in 2006, to the point where they didn't notice hodges fabricating evidence right under their noses.

she starts off the interview by circling back to this point, telling cross that the reason she walked out on their previous meeting was that she disliked cross's misconception that she and grissom were too swept up in their relationship to pay attention to their jobs.

she then attempts to "set the record straight" by explaining to cross how they've always been dedicated to their work and that, in reality, theirs was a slow-burn romance that took place over a long period of time.

from there, she goes on to talk about grissom's temperament, linking the idea that he is methodical and has to see every angle of how a thing works before he'll involve himself with it to the nature of their relationship itself.

in saying all of these things, she wants cross to understand that grissom is "slow to warm up" and needs to be convinced of something completely before he comes around to it.

as i talk about in the post linked above,

to this end, sara commiserates with cross about how stubborn grissom can be. she then lays the groundwork for the idea that grissom could potentially be persuaded to change his mind (under the right circumstances) by broadcasting two important ideas: first, that the way to get grissom on one’s side is to “show him her cards;” and, second, that once he’s on one’s side, grissom will make for an excellent ally because he possesses an unflinching loyalty to the truth.

sara makes these points first by telling the story of how after years of unsuccessful romantic overtures toward grissom, the thing that finally changed the tide of their relationship was her telling him her whole backstory so that he could understand where she was coming from and why she acted the way she did. she then speaks of grissom’s stalwart character and how once he is shown the evidence and given a chance to work through it, he will come to an objective opinion that he cannot be dissuaded from.

when sara tells cross the story of the events of episode 05x13 "nesting dolls," she has some takeaways she intends for cross: first, that she and grissom didn't get "swept up" into a hot and heavy romance but rather gradually eased into being together after bonding over their work; second and relatedly, that grissom doesn't allow himself to be rushed into anything ("most people are motivated by impulses: desire, anger, fear. there aren't any gears that shift for my husband until he sees how they work. but you put him in a lab, you give him time to study, he finds his way"); and third, that grissom is very much a "look before he leaps" kind of guy who needs to understand what's in front of him completely before he'll feel comfortable engaging.

sara frames these takeaways as if she is simply defending both grissom's character and the nature of her and grissom's relationship from cross's scrutiny, though, of course, in reality, what she's looking to do is to put the idea that cross needs to coax grissom out by showing him the evidence in the hodges case into cross's head.

#subliminal messaging

so.

all of the above is to say that when sara tells cross the story of grissom coming over to her apartment and learning her history, her intended message is very much NOT "i'm going to tell you exactly when we first crossed the line from coworkers to couple”—because, frankly, that message would just play into cross's perception that her and grissom's relationship was this sweeping affair that distracted them from their work.

though of course it's possible that grissom and sara did in fact first hook up on this date, that's not what sara is either admitting to or trying to focus on here.

rather, her point is “we bonded over our work" (hence why she mentions that this interaction took place “one night, during a particularly tough case”) and "our coming together was both by its nature and due to grissom's temperament a gradual thing" (hence why she clarifies that “after that, he was just there”).

looking at what sara says from cross's perspective—without any of the knowledge that we as viewers possess regarding the s5 gsr timeline or the overall trajectory of their relationship—there is nothing that would signal to HER that sara is telling her the date that she and grissom first hooked up.

all that's present in the “text” is “this is a significant date in our relationship history because it's the date when he first started to understand me (and from there became comfortable enough with me that we could eventually get together).”

sara doesn’t even actually clarify to cross that this event took place at her apartment rather than at the lab. she also doesn’t mention that she was at the time on suspension. by prefacing her story with the words “one night, during a particularly tough case,” she makes it sound like this interaction was something that happened during a shift. cross has no reason to imagine grissom and sara sitting in sara’s living room, as was actually the case.

the reason we as viewers might infer that sara's actually talking about something more sexual in nature is because of the prior knowledge we're bringing to the table.

i.e., because we know, based on what sara explains to ecklie in episode 08x02 "a la cart," that she and grissom first “became involved” sometime in 2005 and episode 05x13 “nesting dolls” does fit within that 2005 timeline; because we are aware that there is an unaccounted-for window of time between when we last see grissom at sara's apartment and when he shows up at the lab to defend her to catherine and ecklie when some kind of consummation could have potentially taken place; because we’ve seen that the conversation took place at sara’s apartment, where it feasibly could have segued into physical intimacy, as opposed to at the lab or on a scene, where it most probably would not have done so; because we've observed that their relationship does seem markedly different before and after the events of the episode; etc.

however, that's not what's actually being discussed if we look at what exactly is in the words that sara says.

any conclusion to that end would just be extratextual inference.

that so.

again, while it is still—just as it has always been—very much possible to view episode 05x13 “nesting dolls” as the date when grissom and sara first get together, it's also still very much possible to simply view episode 05x13 "nesting dolls" as an emotional turning-point in their relationship (with the actual “getting-together” happening sometime later in late s5 or early s6).

sara's ambiguous phrasing (“after that, he was just there”) leaves both possibilities open to us.

likewise, in terms of timeframe, she could mean that he stayed with her that night until he went back to the lab to talk to catherine and ecklie AND/OR that he continued to check in on her throughout the course of her suspension week and into the future. those possibilities are both open to us, as well.

so, all considered, i think that for us as fans, the take-home here is that we get to keep our headcanons, whatever they may be.

if one believes that episode 05x13 “nesting dolls” is indeed the date™, then one can view what sara says during her interview within that context; however, if one believes that the date™ takes place sometime after the events of episode 05x13 “nesting dolls,” then one can take what sara says during her interview as confirmation of that perspective instead.

i don't think anything has been 100% confirmed or denied here as, really, that's not even the topic of conversation at hand when sara is talking to cross.

there's still room for multiple interpretations, so we can all pick the one we like and go with that—at least until we get a surer canon confirmation.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #cptn stvngrntrgrs #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: vegas #meta: gsr #csi vegas #gsr #cv 01x04 #let's talk shop #csiverse

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randomidiocyncrazies · 4 years

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because i’m incapable of shutting up about post empyre kree-skrull royal court, i’d really like to see the Kaplan-Altmans’ interactions with the court, both separately and together:

Teddy

so proud of my boy Teddy! he’s a good leader, and the defining characteristic of his reign is his kindness, which is Very Different from kree/skrull culture. as evil grandma says there will be those who see his mercy as a weakness, and there are veterans on both sides of the war who can’t accept the new status quo of a unified kree-skrull empire—a deeper look at how to deal with people who refuse to consider anything but bloodshed without losing your own kindness would be interesting to tackle (esp when there are more people who reject the unification/pacifist rule than initially expected)

I also don’t think Teddy actually wants to rule an empire; he’s clearly comfortable with being a leader now and is willing to step up to the plate, but empires by definition have specific connotations. it’d be kinda rad if Teddy doesn’t just aim for a merciful reign, but seeks to change the structure of the empire itself, eg. introduce concepts like democracy or other systems of governance. Teddy tackling the question of whether leading is necessarily the same as ruling, and navigating the similarities/differences between them is MY JAM

also... i love Teddy and he’s clearly competent at his job so far, but he didn't grow up learning statecraft. i know comics love Huge Cosmic Events but honestly? intergalactic diplomatic dinners are just as high-stakes—what’s the point of making characters royalty if they’re not drawn into political intrigue?????

Billy

there's a lot of potential for Mur-G'nn & Billy interactions imo—Billy’s been appointed as Court Mage at the royal wedding, which was her job on the flagship. in Lords of Empyre #1 her assessment of Billy in front of the court suggests that her main concern isn’t Billy’s human heritage, or even Teddy’s devotion to the alliance being divided, but because "this man is a chaos-bringer. He threatens destiny itself.” on the other hand, she seems a bit more apologetic about separating Billy from Teddy than the other detractors, and sends Carol and Johnny to Billy for help when fake!Teddy orders their exile

given the factors above i’d like it if Billy and Mur-G’nn get along well, but disagree on the concept of destiny and its role in Teddy’s reign. it’d also be great if neither are presented as being foolish, but have ways of looking at the world and certain beliefs due to their upbringing and personal experiences. (Mur-G’nn and her cohorts being hunted to near extinction, with the Dorrek Supreme prophecy giving their lives meaning and hope, makes sense for why she thinks destiny is sacred and must be protected. Billy, bullied viciously as a teenager because he can’t/is unwilling to hide who he is, plus his op powerset and upbringing, naturally has different ideas about destiny.)

... add the myriad kree/skrull perspectives on spirituality, religion and belief (pssst marvel bring Xavin back!) and you have a hook for understanding the people of the combined empire better imo. again, making it Billy vs everyone else is super boring, so a spectrum is appreciated.

also? just imagine space politicians trying to schmooze with William “it’s other people who have a problem with me” Kaplan-Altman—he’s polite enough but they soon realize he has a stubborn streak

Together

I’ll k*ll marvel with my bare hands if they get broken up

that said, i think adjusting to their new circumstances could be really quite compelling? like, on earth Billy’s the "more important one” in the sense that he gets more missions with other heroes, and a lot of Young Avenger plots are connected to him/his powers, but Teddy is now KING of SPACE. on earth the’re relatively independent heroes, but at court their titles comes with certain specific responsibilities and expectations. their relationship is going to be everybody’s business now, so there’s probably some culture shock all around until they get used to it.

it’s all politics, even when it doesn’t look like it—again, neither of Billy or Teddy grew up learning statecraft, they’re getting by with natural charisma right now. their advisors probably wanna cry

Others

I’d actually really like to see Kl’rt trying (and knowing marvel probably failing) to serve as a diplomat. just trying REALLY HARD to promote peace when instincts tell him to settle the matter by violence, doing his best to atone for all the innocent lives he had cut short, processing the notion of duty and service to his nation/the crown and the nuances involved. honestly i think having him struggle between his past training and his new determination to not disappoint Teddy’s expectations could be really compelling—furthermore if they take the time to examine his loyalty to Teddy: how much of it is motivated by patriotism and belief in Teddy’s reign, how much of it is personal guilt?

It’d also be rad as heck if the family from Meet the Skrulls and Road to Empyre are featured in a small plot or two—it’s an opportunity to see how Teddy’s policies affect Kree/Skrulls on earth! After all, now will the agents on earth react to long-term peace?

I’d also LOVE IT if Xavin comes back, even just briefly. like... they believed in Teddy even when Teddy didn’t want to face his responsibilities (”To not believe in you, the savior, the uniter, is to not believe in hope.”). them being inactive for so damn long means they’ll have to process the kree-skrull unification, and how it’s probably different than what they had expected initially when it’s said Teddy will unite the skrulls—i don’t think Xavin ever thought a kree-skrull alliance is possible growing up, so that could be interesting. also? i just miss them lol

#marvel comics #empyre #hulkling #wiccan #teddy altman #billy kaplan #kree skrull alliance #new marvel space age #young avengers

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the-nysh · 4 years

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Hi! I love your works and how you always give such thoughtful answers and deep conclusions I would never get to myself. So, I was wondering, what type of personality do you think Garou has? I'm talking about 16 personality types of MBTI. I think that he's INTJ as he is goal-oriented and quick learner who's lead more by intuition (and is mistaken about some things, can't spoil for non sc readers). But still a bit of inconsistency with this here and there on my part understanding-wise.

Ohh. 😳 Ah, thank you! Let’s see...I’m no expert in this field (even though I’m familiar with that personality test) so I’ll try to break it down (for fun) based on my understanding of it. I went ahead and referenced the definitions from this site, so here’s what I got:

Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I).

Definitely textbook introverted (I). Full breakdown why already answered here.

Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N).

Hmm, this one’s not as clear, cause he’s done a bit of both (so there’s some overlap.) We see how sharp his instincts are and we got that moment when he read the warning signals he sensed from Rover. So he can take in sensory information that way…but does he often examine the facts before mistakenly leaping towards conclusions or making sense of the bigger picture? Is he practical and pragmatic about it?? Mmm, I feel it’s more the opposite. He’s usually led by his vaguer idea/goal/bigger picture (impressions from his past experiences) without letting the new information he experiences change what he already believes. The more ‘evidence’ he gains by fighting heroes for example, only reinforces his past ideas/interpretations about them anyway. So in this way, I feel he’s leaning more towards the intuitive type (N). Plus these examples, “I remember events by what I read "between the lines" about their meaning; sometimes I think so much about new (future) possibilities that I never look at how to make them a reality” feel like they fit him to a T. :O

Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).

Oh he’s definitely a feeler (F). He’s intelligent and a prodigious fighter yes, but in fact, the times where he tries to think harder and analyze things, he often fails (like ‘ugh my head hurts’) or doesn’t understand the deeper reasons behind his strong feelings. He knows he’s upset and feels things are unfair (and takes things personally, reacts accordingly, and seeks to balance that unfairness), even if he doesn’t fully understand why or the logic behind it (yet). Many of his actions are driven by such intense feelings without him taking the time to reflect on the technical aspects (or even the ramifications). Oh, and he’s actually very compassionate/empathetic towards others who suffer from familiar injustice (he identifies with them) despite how he tries to act and come off as on the outside, cause he’s often visibly tsundere and chronically in denial about it. :P

Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

This one’s a bit tougher to determine too, but it seems to rely mostly on how he orders/decides what to do and how to take action next. He definitely has his main, loftier goal in mind, and we see him plan out his targets (his wall of hero profiles he checks off as ‘hunted’), and decide where to go next based on information gained from the hero guide. Then again, he’s also an opportunist open to whatever comes his way (in the case of Metal Bat changing his plans to go after Watchdog Man). But we also see him get upset when he starts to stray from the main path he’s already decided on (esp when he’s in turmoil like, ‘I lack the resolve to go all the way!’) So in that sense, I feel he prefers to act with more of that goal-oriented structure, and have a decisive plan in mind he can aim for (even if that monster plan isn’t so clear to him yet) rather than just winging it spontaneously and being flexible to whatever comes (even if he IS adaptable and adjusts his targets towards other monsters accordingly if they double-cross his path). So I’m feeling he’s leaning more towards judging (J) when making plans and taking action here. (Also why his post-arc plan for what comes next might take him a while to fully decide…)

So overall, what does that give...INFJ it seems. :O Ah! I see you chose the T for a thinker back there, when I don’t think Garou relies on logical thinking too much (where despite what he thinks and tries to play off as, his human heart/feelings end up driving his actions more than his head). In fact, specializing in analytical/logical solution making feels more like Genos’ area of expertise. So yeah, in ways Genos is Garou’s opposite in personality here (esp in the sensing and thinking departments), even if overtly, they’re both serious, goal-oriented, persevering (and depending on the reader, inspiring) disciples. Garou ends up having that level of emotional compassion/empathy for others (despite how he hides it) that Genos lacks (and it’s not a bad thing either, just different.)

Overall, the site also summarizes that type as: “conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good.” Which is....👀 ahhh, pretty telling. Garou’s story is also about him developing that clear vision (which is still unclear/in progress at the moment), and there’s some similar overlap with the other INTJ type of course (esp about being independent and having high standards/expectations for himself and others), but he’s also different from that type cause he couldn’t carry through with his original monster plan either... So hmm, this has been pretty interesting (esp if comparing to Genos’ possible other ISTJ type too) and fun to think about!

#shimegamik #replies #opm #garou #meta #long post #yoooo i remember my college advisor formally making me take the test (but it's been years so i don't remember my results)#but yeah taking things apart in pieces it seems genos is opposite to garou in some of these areas...very interesting :O

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firebirdsdaughter · 4 years

Text

…

… Okay. Okay. No. I did that to myself. It wasn’t clearly labelled tag-wise, but the content I could see made it very clear what it was.

I did that to myself.

But the emotions are still here. Fuck.

Okay, note to self: if you see a post that, even if it’s not tagged w/ negativity, seems pretty clearly like it’s going to be negative about your favourite character… DON’T CLICK READ MORE.

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT.

I just.

Horobi’s not a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dad, he’s a ‘mind controlled by a homicidal satellite’ dad. A third category!

While I do subscribe to the belief that prior to Amatsu telling Naki to set off ‘Operation MaGear,’ Horobi was actually okay as far as actually raising Jin went, neither word applies. Like, other than hostility to humans and maybe being a bit of a workaholic… Og og Jin came across as a pretty well-rounded kid. Of course, they couldn’t stay in their bubble forever, and when the Ark’s goals come into play and shit gets kicked off and outside forces start coming in, the balance is disrupted, and Horobi, still completely under the Ark’s influence resets Jin.

Yeah, we all gonna need therapy when we remember that one.

But the fact is, it’s become pretty clear that the philosophy Horobi was spouting wasn’t really coming from ‘him him’ but from the Ark’s views, which in turn seem to have come from Amatsu. This isn’t ‘Horobi is an awful person who thinks these things’ this is ‘he was literally conditioned/manipulated/hacked to ‘think’ these things.’

Of course Horobi wouldn’t raise Jin to think for himself, he couldn’t. He couldn’t think for himself. In fact, in my opinion, while I think they deserve to care about each other, my hope is that they both grow on becoming more independent from each other. I want them to still be family, and like I said, Horobi is my fave, but they’ve def got issues they need to work through that will likely take some time. The Ark suppressed Horobi’s softer side as a father and tried to use him to mould Jin into a tool for its own use, yes, but, esp as far as she was concerned, Jin was also Horobi’s primary purpose. W/ her original plan, Horobi’s purpose was to raise Jin on her doctrine and then die, getting two birds w/ one stone of keeping him from ever actually developing out of the role she’d set for him by remembering how to care, and also giving Jin a grudge against humans. Jin was Horobi’s purpose for the Ark, and then the reason Jin is his singularity point is that Jin (who I still don’t think was connected to the Ark until ep 6) was also his only variable, esp prior to ep 6 and post return. Bc Horobi loves Jin, but doesn’t understand that bc of the Ark’s power over him, but Jin makes him change and behave and react w/out the Ark’s will. his love for Jin was developing further than the Ark could easily crack down on, and he gets more volatile, so the first chance it gets, it jumps into possessing him to prevent any further issues.

Horobi is not ‘actually’ a ‘bad’ person, he’s literally under mind control. And, esp at this point, Jin knows that. Addressing Jin trying to reconcile it might be interesting, but that would require us to focus on Horobi a bit.

There’s no point to this bc I already blocked the person, bc clearly they would not want to see my posts on this subject anymore than I’d want to see theirs, but the feelings it gave me are still very real and I need to vent before I can sleep.

And literally I realised my grave error seconds after clicking, so I only have two points bc I skipped as best I could, but…

Saying Horobi ‘consulted’ the Ark when he saw Jin in danger? Uh… Where the fuck did you read that? Like, okay, okay. So I do have to concede it doesn’t specifically say that the Ark stepped in, but I really don’t see how anyone got the impression Horobi started that connection. And even if he did… Again, he literally had no clue what free will was, he’s an AI designed to not think for himself and to obey orders????

Second… Blaming him for not dying??? He did die! Humans repaired him! WTF???

I would absolutely never say that all the things Horobi did or said while under the Ark’s control are okay, but this isn’t Banno, this is Souichi. Where Souichi is an AI that was designed to be completely subservient and never think for himself in the first place, under the malicious control of giant satellite designed to control other AI that really, really, really hates everything.

Horobi is not a ‘bad’ dad. We don’t know what kind of father Horobi on his own would have been. Horobi is an AI whose instincts and duty as a parent were manipulated and twisted by an outside, malicious force in a particular place of power where it could completely fuck up his mind for twelve years, and clearly saw him as a puppet. Again, not Banno or Masamune. Souichi. A father who had his identity usurped and weaponised, twisted so that an outside, more powerful entity could manipulate his child. Horobi was the Ark’s tool, Jin was the pawn that she was using him to try and manipulate. The situation they were in wasn’t healthy for either of them.

They both need space. Horobi needs to be disconnected from the Ark and probably needs therapy w/ learning how to work through the conditioning he was put through, bc it’s not going to be simple or easy. He’s going to need to be watched, and probably, honestly, mostly kept to himself w/ controlled visits, or something.

Fuck, all of MBJR is gonna need group therapy. Family therapy. But Horobi esp is going to need, like, serious mental and emotional support. And I do honestly think it would be good for Jin to maybe only interact w/ him under controlled circumstances (esp after how he’s been acting now). Bc I do, honestly, think they both need space and independence, again, from each other. Horobi’s life was always the Ark and Jin, if we remove the Ark from the equation, what’s the chance he’ll end up just switching all that over to Jin, and w/ the way the Ark messed up how he processes and handles situations… That’d be dangerous. And after everything that happened, yeah, Jin needs space from Horobi. Like, he knows that Horobi was being mind controlled, but there’s got to be some painful associations remaining. I mean, one of the reasons I would have loved to see Souichi wake up in Build was to see how they would deal w/ that.

But this rant is already very long.

So I’m gonna leave it here.

Horobi is neither a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dad. He’s a ‘mind controlled’ dad.

#Firebird Negativity #I get very very defensive #but the fact is that while we can say 'these things he did were not okay'#'cause oh honey they were not #we can't say 'Horobi willingly did these things therefore he is evil and a bad father'#bc Horobi hasn't willingly done ANYTHING #other than… Protect Jin #he's not Banno he's Souichi #I'm sorry about this it's another vent #I just…#I was put into a mood where I could not sleep #and I need to start moving toward bed I gotta work tomorrow #but Iw as so riled up #so here we are

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icharchivist · 4 years

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Just realized. Lucifer and Lucio having the same taste in sandy and how they become more human? (Not sure how to put it) around him makes sense when you consider how Lucifer was supposed to complete lucillius, who is a copy of lucio. So yeah, sandy makes a less creepy lucio.

oooh omg good point

i do think in an ironic way the whole Lucio>Lucilius>Lucifer>Sandalphon line showcase very well the whole theme of evolution

There’s still questions about why the Helels got clones to start with, but it is interesting to me considering Lucio has, for most of his life, lived as a Speaker, an unactive player, a Watcher for a Silent God. If i remember 000 correctly, Lucio event comments a lot on how impressed he is with the way his Clone evolved past some restrictions.

By joining the crew Lucio already started to question his purpose and started to take steps in order to evolve as well, this whole theme of him going on about how humanity is weak (observation as an unactive player) but yet this weakness makes them stronger than the perfect being (leading him to become an active player to heelp into this endeavor).

So yeah esp with the whole Helel Reverie quest Lucio has exposed a lot about how he lived for thousands years at least, if not millenials, which was a stagnant extention and tool for a god, to now deciding to act for himself.

And the whole decision to act for himself came from the Crew yes but i doubt it would have come this far had it not been for Lucilius and the plans he set in motions.

While it focuses more on Lucio and Lucifer, a slight detour on Lucilius, we have here a clone who had always felt himself incomplete. Both him and Bubs have some sort of Gods complex and Lucilius esp was an outcast, and it’s to be argued this is because of the fact they are clones. Lucilius mentions having had vague memories of the Tower Lucio is found in, so that by essence Lucilius is connected to a side of Lucio, but by being unable to reason this part of him for such a long time, it had just led him to feel more isolated among his peers, and led to his God complex.

We know from last quest also that Lucilius’s body at least was weaker than his mind could be and that it’s one of the reason he created Lucifer as an extension of himself, more than a perfected one. Like you said, Lucifer was meant to complete Lucilius.

But by trusting him with evolution, setting him with this purpose as well as to watch over it, letting Lucifer call him “my friend”, encouraging Lucifer to take his own decisions ect. Everything led to Lucifer to watch, to question the world. He didn’t have to worry about where he came from like Lucilius did, so he focused on his purpose.

And ultimately, this is this evolution that Lucifer watched over and kept questioning that led him to be more human. Lucifer was watching toward the present, toward the future, was, by design, looking over others people (i suspect that with the reason he was created it’s also not unlikely Lucilius counted on the “more powerful version of himself” to also watch over him in case Lucilius was in a bind).

The Loophole ended that by the fact Lucifer’s purpose was evolution and that he had no reason to question further than that, he evolved. Unlike Lucio that cut himself from the skyrealm for a long time, Lucifer let himself pay attention to it, learn from it.

And then we have Sandalphon which imo works as a mix of Lucilius and Lucifer in the sense that, the lack of purpose made Sandalphon constantly question why he was made. He snapped the moment he learnt he was meant as a remplacement - a clone - to the person he loved, but, on top of that, that he would not be needed anyway.

It parallels pretty nicely with Lucilius in the sense that, Lucilius didnt know most of his life that he was a clone and it tormented him enough to be constantly questioning it and taking questionable decision as he questioned his existence. Sandalphon spent most of his life not knowing his purpose but it tormented him, and just like Lucilius, he started to take questionable decisions as he questioned the purpose of his exitence.

While Sandalphon did end up filling his original purpose to remplace Lucifer, he is much more influenced by this time he lacked purpose which is pretty big for a Primal. While chaotic, Sandalphon took his own first few steps into deviating from the path made for him out of pure spite, which is a sort of evolution by its own rights. And Lucifer’s death and passing his purpose on Sandalphon just led Sandalphon to question more in general. (also ironical since Sandalphon did inherit Lucifer’s memories, so like Lucilius, he had flashes of another life, but unlike Lucilius, he knew where it came from and could reason with them to put them in perspective as knowledge, rather than questions about his existence.)

And finally, while Lucio had joined the crew of the Singularity earlier (but idk the details as of why so i really base my interpretation more on 000), Lucilius last attempt to overthrow God, as well as Sandalphon arriving and living up to all this experience that Lucifer passed over, was probably the showdown Lucio needed:

on one hand, Lucilius was stuck in the conflicted feelings about his own existence, stuck in trying to understand what he’s even evolving from since he doesn’t know, and that perhaps this is why he was meant for higher things. On the other, Sandalphon, while still struck with grief and unsure exactly how to fill his goal, has evolved and has been more certain about the way to exercise what he wants to do further than his own purpose.

That showdown that we know Lucio saw (even if Lucilius had left him in a poodle of blood at this point) was imo the one argument needed for Lucio in term of Getting Stuck In The Past VS Allowing Yourself To Change.

So, undeniably, while Lucio probably started to change already because of the Singularity, i think it’s Sandalphon, being the last in his clone’s line, and coming right after Lucilius that was the first one, that really struck a point about what it means to evolve past your purpose, and past the issues that had risen on your way.

And like Lucifer kept asking himself question as he watched over people (and arguably the whole thing with his last words that he applies to “people” can just as well be applied to how he understood Sandalphon in the end, “anger when denied” thing. Not to mention that Lucifer had been wondering about Sandalphon’s feelings since the Rebellion without coming up with an answer and seeing where that led, so reflection, thanks to Sandalphon, was essential for Lucifer), Lucio saw those actions, saw this evolution coming from his line, and decided just as much to observe, but also to become an active player in questioning, and in acting when time comes (ie destroying the Pandemonium).

So yeah dLFJDLF this was a whole word vomit but i do find it exteremely interesting because, yeah, Lucio being the first in the line really showcase how much each member of the line led to the next one evolving, up to the point that when all of this was reunited in the Tower (since, while Lucifer was dead, we also see Sandalphon constantly bringing up Lucifer’s way of thinking, plus ofc the Lucifer that appear behind Sandalphon when he uses Paradise Lost), when all four of them were together in one place, i think it served as a way to reflect on what was, what is and what could be for Lucio. He saw the different path taken by his own line, how slight different circumstances changed one self,

and, of course, Sandalphon, who was meant to stay quietly in his place as a spare, constantly taking his destiny in his own hands, and working through both his new found purpose and who he decide to be for himself, as well as his role for the rest of the world.

Sandalphon’s existence was enough as of which for Lucifer to be more at peace and be more himself rather than the Supreme Primarch. By his relationship with Sandalphon, Lucifer was allowed to act outside of his purpose and imo, this is what gave him the insight he needed to question once he lost Sandalphon to Sandalphon’s free will in the Rebellion.

I think Lucio is coming at it from the backward perspective of seeing where Sandalphon is now after taking conscious steps to justify his existance, despite seemingly having to fit Lucio’s steps.

Hell i wonder how much of “Lucilius was close to God” and “Lucifer served as much as he could” was stuff Lucio could relate to for both of them. Then Lucifer rebelled against his own master when he went too far. I wonder if Lucio didn’t project a minute and wondered if he could do that, too, if needed. And probably that could be realization enough for Lucio that he has to change.

but this is whole set in motion because Sandalphon took his own path, and is the one in the Tower for making the point about Evolution as it is.

So in a purely thematic standpoint this is evolution in action leading to question, over and over and Lucio could take all of this into account when all this evoltion came barging at his door lmao.

But also yeah, the idea is also possible that Lucio would have been the OG attracted to Sandalphon idea and that this self spliting gave Lucilius his brain and Lucifer his heart enough to like Sandalphon tadaaaa o/

also technically me saying “that was a word vomit” was to bring to a conclusion but then i got into even more details i’m so sorry dKLJFDF i really find this fascinating and Lucio is especially set on a character journey i find interesting because he is doing so after having observed how people from his cloneline has decided to take actions. And from that Lucio can just learn to move on past being a Speaker, and act by himself. Inspired by Sandalphon. Which is in himself the current conclusion to line of questioning that spread throught the whole LuciLines.

anyway wmtsb good.

Thanks for coming in to mention it! and Thanks for reading through it all if you did DLKJFD

Take care!!

#ichafantalks gbf #ichafantalks wmtsb #ichablogging wmtsb #?? anywhoo DLKFJDLFJFD #Anonymous

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years

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There is really no comparison with Iroh though. He is an adult charcter (even in his 50s perhaps) Fully stable and confident functioning adult. Is any adult going to take seriously a messed up teenager yelling at them? (esp since he knows exactly why Zuko is this way and sincerely wants to help him). You just can't compare a kid acting up in fron of an adult and kid being kind of abusive to the other kid. That's not the same kind of damage at all.

So I got like 6 anons at the same time. I’m not sure if they’re all from the same person but I’m going to respond as if they are. Also screeches at tumblr for their word count because it makes it so much harder to answer long asks lol.

For reference; here’s the rest of the ask I put it in italics (they’re in reversed order);

The hardest thing though for Katara and Azula to become close is that she needs to understand Azula's background to or give her. But seeing Katara look sorrowful when Azula broke down at the end... it showed me that she started understanding Azula. Katara likes to heal people unconditionally and compassionately and Azula would be the type of person she wants to help make better, especially because Katara understands what it feels like to see that darker side of yourself and confront it

Anonymous said: Both Katara and Zuko are Azula's foil so either one of them is good. Her brother Zuko and girlfriend katara as her new family ;D. But reallly... Katara and Azula would learn the most from each other since they are perfect complements.

Anonymous said: Sokka would be too guarded as a person, however I really think Katara would help Azula a lot. She's the most compassionate and open member of the Gaang. She's also Azula's foil. She open with her feelings as a person while Azula is guarded. She can teach Azula to express herself more and give her emotional connection. At the same time though, Katara knows when Azula goes too far and can stop her. This is why I also love shipping them together because they are the perfect foils for each other.

Anonymous said: and emotionally scared and manipulated him the most out of anyone hes met but eventually I think they too would become friends once Sokka realizes that they share a lot fo similarities (but this is also the hardest friendship to develop). Azula, Tooh, and Katara would become an awesome girl squad though and Zuko's annoying little sisters :D

Anonymous said: I always thought that Toph and Azula would be the closest friends post canon out of everyone in the Gaang. Aang and Azula would eventually come around though I think it would be hard for Azula to respect Aang's carefree and forgiving mindset. Azula would also become friends with Katara once Katara understand what Azula's been through and shes the most compassionate person. Sokka and Azula are probably the least likely considering Azula put his girlfriend in jail.

That’s also fair but I think that to a degree it’s the sentiment that counts. By this I mean that Zuko exhibited some of the same toxic tendencies. And that he tended to lash out and bite at people who helped him. If we go with 50′s for Iroh’s age wouldn’t that make it elder abuse? Just because Iroh is an adult doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings. This is kind of a silly example but if you watch shows like Dr. Phil, you see examples of teens that absolutely terrify their parents. I’m not saying that Zuko is on this level but. I am saying that it’s still not right for him to constantly verbally berate Iroh. It doesn’t matter how old or stable you are, if someone is constantly talking down to or about you, you’re not gonna feel too good.

But taking the opposite approach (saying that it is fine for Zuko to verbally lash out at Iroh because he’s an adult) I then I have to ask; why is it okay/taken seriously for Ursa to be afraid of child Azula? So many people side with Ursa who is also a stable adult and say that Azula should have been written off for being mean to Ursa. And at that point Azula is a younger child. But it’s no big deal when Zuko lashes out at Iroh?

I just sometimes feel like there’s this massive double standard when it comes to the siblings. It sometimes seems like Azula gets demonized for the things that Zuko gets a pass for. If it were Azula who had burned Kyoshi Island and sent an assassin after the gaang, people would drag her name through hell for it. Zuko seems to get let off the hook.

I’ll also extend this point by saying that Zuko also lashed out at Azula. Where Azula was mentally abusive to Zuko, Zuko was physically abusive. He usually always tossed the first fireball. In (I think) The Guru he challenges her to an Agni Kai that she rejects. Basically it’s not just one sided. And both siblings are not particularly healthy for each other.

As far as Toph and Azula goes, I think that they’d probably become friends first like you said. I just feel like their sarcasm and dry humor would help forge a friendship. And Toph wouldn’t really take any of her shit. So it kinda just works. But she doesn’t have the wise mentor thing going on. I think that Aang would be a logical follow; he’s very kind and forgiving. But I can see Azula taking advantage of that to a degree. So I think that maybe Aang and Toph tag teaming helping Azula could work. And then like you said, I can see Katara warming up next. Since Aang trusts her I think that’d help Katara do so, plus she’s got the mom instinct. And yeah, I think Sokka would still be a bit bitter and hesitant.

But honestly I think that this order would change depending on the circumstance in which her redemption would be written. And I also think that all of the above would come after she’s already started a redemption arc. As mentioned, I think that Azula’s redemption would best be started with a totally new character or a character she’s had very minimal/no interactions with in canon.

As for the Katara bit; she’s also someone I considered to be the first to warm up to Azula. As you mentioned she’s very compassionate and sympathetic and, like Toph, she wouldn’t let Azula walk all over her. I can see her having the patience to try to work with Azula. And like you said, she’s got a natural inclination to heal and help so I can see that working.

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sugarsourgoat · 5 years

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All of the 90s (& 80s) Anime You Need To Fill Your Nostalgic Heart

There’s is no greater feeling than running into something that makes you remember a fun time in your life. For me, that is the 90s. Even though I didn’t experience a lot of the 90s, I still have those times where I feel like getting out some popcorn and indulging in the things that make me feel as though I am back in that time. One specific way for me to do that is through watching anime that came out in the 90s.

The typical art styles of 90s anime are something I sometimes wish was still a feature in today’s animation. The haziness of the animations (mostly because of the lower quality resolution of televisions during that era) takes me back to a time when I was a child.

In this post, I hope that you will find an anime with a story that will pique your interest, as well as help you feel as though you are back in the 90s (or the 80s because I couldn’t help myself). If you were born in the 2000s, then hopefully this list will help you understand why some of us began to love anime in the first place or will open you to anime you never heard of.

If you have any 90s (or older) anime recommendations, let me know! I’m always happy to watch some old anime.

xx, Sai

1. Oniisama e

When 16-year-old Nanako Misonoo enters the prestigious all-girls Seiran Academy, she believes a bright future awaits her. Instead, the unlucky girl finds herself dragged into a web of deceit, misery, and jealousy. On top of that, she is chosen as the newest inductee of the Sorority, an elite group whose members are the envy of the entire school. Having none of the grace, wealth, or talent of the other members, Nanako quickly draws the ire of her jealous classmates—especially the fierce Aya Misaki. To cope with her increasingly difficult school life, Nanako recalls her days through letters to her former teacher, Takehiko Henmi, whom she affectionately calls "onii-sama" (big brother). She also finds comfort with her four closest friends: her childhood friend Tomoko Arikura, the sociable but erratic Mariko Shinobu, the troubled musician Rei Asaka, and the athletic tomboy Kaoru Orihara. An impassioned drama about the hardships of bullying, Oniisama e... chronicles a young girl's harsh life at her new school, as she endures cruel rumours, heartless classmates, and countless social trials.

Aired: Summer 1991

2. Angel’s Egg

In a desolate and dark world full of shadows, lives one little girl who seems to do nothing but collect water in jars and protect a large egg she carries everywhere. A mysterious man enters her life... and they discuss the world around them.

Aired: Fall 1985

3. Laputa: Castle in the Sky

In a world filled with planes and airships, Sheeta is a young girl who has been kidnapped by government agents who seek her mysterious crystal amulet. While trapped aboard an airship, she finds herself without hope—that is, until the ship is raided by pirates. Taking advantage of the ensuing confusion, Sheeta manages to flee from her captors. Upon her escape, she meets Pazu, a boy who dreams of reaching the fabled flying castle, Laputa. The two decide to embark on a journey together to discover this castle in the sky. However, they soon find the government agents back on their trail, as they too are trying to reach Laputa for their own greedy purposes. Tenkuu no Shiro Laputa follows the soaring adventures of Sheeta and Pazu, all while they learn how dreams and dire circumstances can bring two people closer together.

Aired: Summer 1986

4. Sailor Moon

Usagi Tsukino is an average student and crybaby klutz who constantly scores low on her tests. Unexpectedly, her humdrum life is turned upside down when she saves a cat with a crescent moon on its head from danger. The cat, named Luna, later reveals that their meeting was not an accident: Usagi is destined to become Sailor Moon, a planetary guardian with the power to protect the Earth. Given a special brooch that allows her to transform, she must use her new powers to save the city from evil energy-stealing monsters sent by the malevolent Queen Beryl of the Dark Kingdom. But getting accustomed to her powers and fighting villains are not the only things she has to worry about. She must find the lost princess of the Moon Kingdom, the other Sailor Guardians, and the Legendary Silver Crystal in order to save the planet from destruction.

Aired: Spring 1992

5. Akira

In 1988 the Japanese government drops an atomic bomb on Tokyo after ESP experiments on children go awry. In 2019, 31 years after the nuking of the city, Kaneda, a bike gang leader, tries to save his friend Tetsuo from a secret government project. He battles anti-government activists, greedy politicians, irresponsible scientists, and a powerful military leader until Tetsuo's supernatural powers suddenly manifest. A final battle is fought in Tokyo Olympiad exposing the experiment's secrets.

Aired: Summer 1988

6. Burn up!

To the unsuspecting eye Maki, Reimi and Yuka may not look like ace crime fighters, which might explain why they're stuck on traffic patrol instead of more "exciting" police duties. All that changes when Yuka gets herself kidnapped by a white slave organization run by a politically connected businessman who's got the rest of the police cowed. Now it's up to Maki and Reimi to don skin-tight battle armor, liberate a tank, and make sure that a certain slaver learns that when you play with fire, you're going to get your ass burned!

Aired: Winter 1991

7. Neon Genesis Evangelion

In the year 2015, the world stands on the brink of destruction. Humanity's last hope lies in the hands of Nerv, a special agency under the United Nations, and their Evangelions, giant machines capable of defeating the Angels who herald Earth's ruin. Gendou Ikari, head of the organization, seeks compatible pilots who can synchronize with the Evangelions and realize their true potential. Aiding in this defensive endeavor are talented personnel Misato Katsuragi, Head of Tactical Operations, and Ritsuko Akagi, Chief Scientist. Face to face with his father for the first time in years, 14-year-old Shinji Ikari's average life is irreversibly changed when he is whisked away into the depths of Nerv, and into a harrowing new destiny—he must become the pilot of Evangelion Unit-01 with the fate of mankind on his shoulders.

Aired: Fall 1995

8. Battle Angel Alita

Doc Ido, a doctor, and mechanic who lives and works in the hellish, post-apocalyptic "Scrapyard", finds the—miraculously preserved—remains of a female cyborg in a junk heap. After he revives and rebuilds her, the preternaturally strong, amnesiac "Gally" begins to forge a life for herself in a world where every day can bring a fight for life.

Aired: Spring 1993

That’s all for my nostalgia-giving anime list for now! If you have any suggestions for me on what anime I should watch send me a message! Let me know if you will/have seen any of these anime and what you think about them! Also, feel free to suggest topics you’d like to see from Sailure Artemis in the future (you can also submit posts).

See you next time!

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serenagaywaterford · 4 years

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I am reading up on Phyllis Schlafly, really infuriating stuff. Definitely seeing a lot of her in Serena (on the show only), right down to even her looks... so I can see why people hate her so much. I don’t know without Yvonne’s nuanced performance, I would’ve had much sympathy and empathy. Or maybe I am just a slut for Yvonne. Oh well... Btw, any interest in Mrs America? It’s got a great cast, although for some reason, I get a sense you aren’t a big Cate fan? Or I got it all wrong?

Well, Schlafly was one of the prominent anti-feminists Atwood based Serena Joy off of so it’s only natural to see the similarities! (The other was Tammy Fay Baker. Amongst, I’m sure, many other women of that ilk during the time period Atwood was writing.) They did strip basically the entire Tammy Fay aspect of Serena out of the TV!Serena. (Which is a shame in some ways, but sort of understandable in others. Book!Serena was a lot to translate, and yet strangely less developed somehow than the show version. Or am I crazy?) I have read some of these women’s essays and such, originally not voluntarily lol but part of a feminism course at uni and the prof thought it was absolutely necessary to read the other wide’s views in order to understand the entire scope of the issues.

I think it’s pretty much majority opinion that without Yvonne’s specific acting choices and skill (and I suppose–let’s admit the director’s get some credit too lol) for bringing Serena to the screen, most of us wouldn’t find the character so fascinating. And I am not going to pretend to even lie, her looks help too. ;)

Of course I’m interested in Mrs. America. The content of this series is exactly up my alley. I love shit like this. And I have a gross little fascination with cults/terrible social movements and terrible conservative women and why they are so fucking awful lol. (Which leads into my slight preoccupation about how to change their minds so they can be feminists too. So many of them are intelligent, driven women who… my God. If they just could break that patriarchal bullshit mindset… Although admittedly, some seem to be just plain horrible to their bones. And I’ll admit it’s more appealing in fiction, than reality cos in real life people don’t change as easily or dramatically.)

I’ll tell everyone here a little secret:

I know I probably give off a different vibe lol, but I don’t choose TV shows to watch based on who the actors are. (Subjective opinion time: If I did, I probably wouldn’t have watched THT cos I don’t like Fiennes, Bledel, or Moss all that much. Well, Moss as an actor has grown on me in time, lbr. Fiennes has always bothered me, so he’s perfect for Fred then lol but I still don’t think he’s an excellent actor, and Bledel is such a one-note actor imo. I know, sacrilege. Throw me to the lions, or whatever. Which is why I was pleasantly surprised by some of her scenes in THT, and not shocked when she didn’t deliver in other ones. And, I will fully admit, I didn’t care who the fuck Yvonne Strahovski was prior to her becoming Serena. I’d seen her in Dexter and she never really left an impression. So, based on casting alone, THT would not have been something I particularly cared about. Ann Dowd is about the only actor in THT that I had positive thoughts about cos she is stellar and always is, but she is hardly a main character in THT lol.)

So, disliking an actor isn’t really an issue unless I particularly loathe one and know I wouldn’t be able to stand watching them under any circumstances. (This is rare.) Yes, sometimes I’ll give something a shot I otherwise wouldn’t cos I love a specific actor in it, but that doesn’t mean I will stick with it even if it sucks or say it’s great when it’s clearly not. I’m not one of those completists that must watch everything a certain person has been in. (Not anymore, anyway lol. When I had time and money in my youth, that was a different story. You bet I watched everything I could that had Natalie Portman, Laura Linney, Olivia Wilde, or Amy Adams in it lol.)

About Cate Blanchett. Um. I don’t dislike her? I actually enjoy her work as an actor… mostly, from what I’ve seen. (I very much disliked Carol, which is perhaps where you’re getting my dislike of her from? I thought it was a slow, boring, underwhelming movie. And I hated the age gap. But that’s not Cate’s fault. I also dislike Rooney Mara…so, yeah.)

I’ve watched quite a few other films with Blanchett. Some were great, some sucked. As most actors have in their filmography. I adamantly don’t follow the tumblr/twitter lesbian trend of mooning over Cate because I am firmly and obstinately opposed to stanning straight people as “lesbian icons uwu” or “honorary lesbians” (See also: Hozier, Taylor Swift, Rachel Weisz, Harry Styles, etc etc.). I hate it (esp when it’s straight MEN) and I will not join in, even if they are outspoken activists for gay rights. Which none of them are. That just makes them a decent person, not a gay icon/honorary gay.

“Rather, I mention it as a reminder to myself, and to you, of an unfortunate yet undeniable fact: Heterosexuality is an overwhelmingly common trait for our so-called gay icons.

Celebrity fandom is really just a bizarro reflection of ourselves: who we are, what we value, who we want to be, and, sometimes, who we want to fuck. Our faves are us, basically, just in that creepy sexy lady Snapchat filter. And as fans, we invest in the celebrities we love. We help their interview clips go viral; we see their movies in theaters then stream them at home; we loudly cheer their awards season campaigns on social media. The celebrities we choose to uplift reap our time and our attention and our clicks and our money. They accumulate both our cultural and literal capital; they gain buzz and caché and glossy magazine profiles; they get bigger roles and bigger paychecks.” [this article is a basic explanation, but doesn’t get nearly as nasty as I would if I wrote it, lol.]

That doesn’t mean I don’t like Blanchett. It just means I don’t have the energy to waste on gushing over her cos she wears suits really well, goes to a drag brunch, and has played a lesbian once (that I know of, like, I’ll admit I don’t follow her career lol). She’s good. She’s done good roles. She’s not gay and shouldn’t be a lesbian icon, nor is she my fav ever. So, meh. She’s fine. I do appreciate her… energy? If that’s a thing. It’s a very self-assured, self-sufficient female energy that she emanates in her acting, and offscreen I would argue. It’s refreshing. I love confidence without arrogance or egoism. (Altho, lbr, all famous actors are egoists. It’s basically a pre-req. Some are just excellent at not letting it show.) But if I want to talk about an otherworldly tall lanky blonde actress, I’d prolly lean towards Tilda Swinton lol.

I’m looking forward to her in Stateless and Mrs America. I think she has potential to do both roles quite well. Although… I will say her American accent often leaves a lot to be desired lol. But it’s getting better. If I’m going to gush over any “lesbian icon” in Mrs. America, it’ll be Sarah Paulson.

#(but lbr i don't really gush over lesbian icons anyway lol)#i just wanted to give a shout out to sarah paulson lmao #OOPS THIS GOT LONG AND I STARTED TALKING ABOUT THINGS ANON DIDN'T ASK AT ALL YIKES #oh well #it has been A Day #Anonymous

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 24)

Hello, friends. The story is rapidly approaching an end. I imagine I'll only be posting for another couple weeks (maybe three at the most) before this essay draws to a close.

Last night we wrapped up the Time Travel Arc. Now we return to the larger parent arc, the Escape Arc. Mikan has made up her mind to escape the school with her mother, and although this breaks Natsume's heart, he'll do all he can to get her out safely without at all complaining. If she's leaving for good, then the only thing that matters to him for the next little bit is keeping her as safe as possible. After that, he's resigned himself to a lonely and imminent death... And then Mikan has an epiphany.

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Four

They’re finally all back in the present. The room they left is now empty, and they wonder what happened. Undoubtedly the situation is more pressing than ever.

Mikan is concerned about everyone’s safety, but Natsume makes it clear that the priority is making sure she can make it out of the academy with her mother. If she’s going to leave, then he will do everything he can to make sure the process goes as smoothly and safely for her as possible. Her concerns about everyone else have no place here when everyone’s dreams and futures are threatened by the ESP if he ever gets his hands on Mikan’s alices. Besides, his happiness and safety always come dead last to him. He’d act and speak this way, even if it was only Mikan’s well-being on the line.

He will protect her no matter what happens, he says. That’s his priority. This is no different than the way he’s been living for the last year or so.

Yeah, there's the whole thing with the school and protecting the student body and stopping the ESP but Mikan is his priority always.

Everyone else agrees, and Mikan is outvoted. She comes first now.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven

Mikan and her friends run into a horde of students, either controlled by Luna’s alice or afraid that they’ll end up being controlled or punished. They all move to attack Mikan in particular, to capture her because maybe they’ll even be rewarded for it.

This is a mistake, because Natsume will not allow anything to happen to her. He uses his alice to fend off the students, but his fire takes a strange shape, unlike anything he’s ever made before. His ability to manipulate the shape better than ever is a result of the stone Mikan inserted into him, which Tsubasa theorizes is psychokinesis.

Ruka pleads with him to stop, concerned about Natsume’s health the more he uses his alice. He immediately stops on the behest of his best friend, but then he uses his new alice to pull everyone over closer to him. Mikan specifically flies into his arms, where he wanted her. He’s able to catch her, whereas the others land on their heads. Now that they’re safer, he tells her to teleport them.

Who cares where the rest of them land? They can deal with it on their own.

Tsubasa comments that this extra power makes Natsume feel like more of a man, more powerful. This isn’t a farfetched theory. We know how much Natsume wants to grow up, to have power. Now that he has this extra alice, he’s more useful than he already was, and that naturally translates into some extra confidence.

Another thing is that Natsume is putting his all into getting Mikan out safe. He’s willing to expend all his energy and alice in order to accomplish his goal. Adding on to that, he knows he won’t see her again after this. He can hold on for a little longer, but to survive the unknowable amount of years before he can see her again? Unlikely. He doubted he’d even be able to graduate, let alone be on standby for possibly a decade and maybe even more. He has no reason to believe he’ll make it. So he keeps her close now. He’ll be right by her side ‘til the very end, take advantage of every touch and interaction he can. So even if everyone else collapses onto the ground after he uses his extra alice, Mikan will land safely in his arms.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Nine

Natsume may have spared Nobara earlier, but he still doesn’t really trust her. She’s been acting weird this whole time and he’s suspicious. When they have a moment, he confronts her, warning her that if she sells them out to Persona, he won’t go easy on her. After all, to him, she’s still the girl who’s always been Persona’s little pet.

But Nobara doesn’t want to sell them out. She wants to stop Persona and her DA friends from hurting the cause and themselves. She wants to stop them so they don’t become a part of the fight.

She stands back so she doesn’t teleport again with the rest of them. She wants to do this for Mikan.

Mikan doesn’t understand. She’s concerned that she left Nobara behind, so she says she’ll go back to get her, but Natsume stops her. She needs to allow Nobara to make her own choice. Even if Mikan doesn’t get it, the only thing that matters is their original mission. Nothing will change that. He won’t be strayed from it, no matter what obstacles come their way. Nobara made the choice, and she’s the best person to confront the DA class. The rest of them should allow her to do as she wants.

They move forward, and Natsume keeps back when he feels his coughing fit coming on. Now that everything is dire, he definitely doesn’t want to slow things down by worrying people with his body. He worries that he won’t be able to properly protect Mikan, considering the shape he’s in, but he would never say that out loud.

Death creeps ever closer... Why isn't he ever concerned for himself?

Even more, Nobara stressed before she left that Natsume was the most important person to stay by Mikan's side, that he should protect her to the end. Though he wouldn't be so bold to say that about himself, he wants to stay 'til the end. But the fact that he might die at any moment doesn't reassure him. However, any insecurities or fears he has must stay in his mind. He wants to be strong for Mikan, to accomplish their goal and keep her safe. He’s pushed any and all feelings of his own out the window. All that matters is their goal.

He can die afterwards.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four

Mikan needs to go to her mother. She and Ruka are to teleport to Yuka, since Ruka has the barrier alice and he can keep her safe. The rest of them are going to hold off the Fuukitai and other enemies. There’s really no time for heartfelt goodbyes. Natsume might never see Mikan again, but he turns away because there’s no time for anything else. He will fight off the enemies to keep her safe. That’s what he can do. Anything else will just waste precious time.

Except that Mikan has the telepathy alice now. She’s mostly kept it a secret, sharing it with Hotaru and nobody else.

Natsume can stay silent all he wants, but his heart and mind are racing with thoughts and feelings. She couldn’t ignore it if she wanted to. It’s not the time to be lollygagging. She has to get going, and everyone is urging her to move on and teleport with Ruka, but she’s hesitating.

And then Natsume hears it too. She’s saying it back, telepathically, that she loves him too.

Terrible timing, Mikan. You had all night to say it back! (joking)

It’s all he’s never allowed himself to want to hear. Something that would only happen in a delusional fantasy world. Mikan may care about him, to some degree, but he’d never expected she would love him back. She should love Ruka, who is kind and polite, or literally anybody else. He’s always had to push her away, and even if she saw through his insults to see what he really meant, he still wouldn’t be good enough. He can’t be with her, because his life is running out. He shouldn’t be with her, because all he will do is cause her more pain. He’ll never be with her, because he doesn’t deserve to be. He won’t be with her, because she’s running away with her mother and he’ll never see her again.

But she loves him too anyway.

Despite every insult and attempt to keep his distance. Despite their beginnings of mutual disdain. Despite how he’s said he hated everything about her, about how he wanted her out of his sight. Despite acting like she was a pest and nothing more than an annoyance. Despite everything he did, she somehow still loves him.

It’s the worst thing to ever happen to him, to stand there and hear her saying that in his mind and then watch her disappear forever.

He’s said it out loud only one time. He confessed with his kiss at Christmas, with his alice stone, with the borrowing race, with his speech to the ESP. He’s confessed with every time he got in front of her to protect her, with every cruel word forced out of him by the higher ups, with every smile he had just for her.

Now she finally said it back and it’s too late for anything. He can’t kiss her and show her how much he means it, how much it isn’t just hype over nothing. He can’t tell her he loves her to her face and with his whole chest. He can’t take her by the hand and run away with her. He can’t live happily ever after with her.

That was all okay before, when it was just him who was suffering. So his life would be lonely and short. Okay. Who cares? But now he knows she wants all that too.

He’s miserable. He calls out to her but it’s too late. She’s gone now and all he can do is fight the enemies who want to threaten her security.

Natsume has been left behind with Tono and Tsubasa to fight as hard as they can against the Fuukitai. When they finally get away for a moment, Tono tells them to fight for the girls they love. Tsubasa and Natsume both berate him for this, because who was he talking about? Tono argues it wasn’t about him; he was just trying to cheer the two up after they had to break apart from their girls.

Natsume is clearly in emotional turmoil, but he frequently is, so he doesn’t let it show a lot. He may threaten Tono with his alice or tease him with Tsubasa like all is normal, but it’s not. His current circumstances couldn’t be any worse unless Mikan were in danger, and he’s doing everything he can to keep that from happening.

Tono finally admits that he’s been nervous this whole time because Noda is probably the traitor among them, but Natsume realizes the truth: It’s Goshima.

Tsubasa and Tono are going to try and find Goshima, who has the key Yuka and Mikan need to escape. They also need someone to go and tell them that Goshima can’t be trusted, and Tono wants Natsume to do it.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five

Tono is urging Natsume to go and tell Mikan about Goshima, to go protect her. Naturally, he doesn’t hesitate before taking off. Any excuse to see her again and keep her safe is enough for him.

Tsubasa doesn’t understand why Tono sent him off, though, since Natsume is in such bad shape. Having him run and exert himself further seems wrong.

I just want him to be happy. Is that really so much to ask?

Tono puts it all into perspective. It had to be Natsume. The kid was in a state of absolute misery, even knowing his love is requited and perhaps because of it. He can never see Mikan again. His life will end. The rest of them can talk about decades and decades into the future and still be sure that they will meet Mikan again, but it’s clear that Natsume won’t make it that far. As Tono puts it, it’s important that Natsume has a chance to see her for the last time, to say good-bye properly.

Natsume would go to her no matter what, too, and he does, running with all his might to find her, even though he’s coughing and his body is breaking.

He will use his alice and do anything he can to find her and tell her and keep her safe, and they finally meet again.

He’s standing over the bodies of enemies that he’s just defeated for her, and he finally has a chance to say the good-bye he thought he’d never get.

There are other things that need to be said, but he might not have a chance to say his feelings again if he doesn’t take the opportunity now. He’s sad, because no matter what, their story will end soon. But this is more than he could’ve asked for.

But all of the words that should come out of his mouth don’t. He doesn’t talk about the traitor. He doesn’t tell her he loves her to her face. He doesn’t say anything except her name. None of the feelings he has can be put into words. For the moment he’s speechless.

She is too. She rushes into his arms and they share a quick second of holding each other before they inevitably part forever. The fact that she hugs him might have reminded him that she loves him too. Then again, how could he forget? Either way, he finds the words that were lost to him before.

He’s going to stay with her until the very last second. He won’t leave her or part from her for even a moment again until they have to say good-bye for good.

No, they won't last. She'll leave and he'll die, but they have this moment, even if it's the only thing they'll ever have.

No, he doesn’t mention the traitor even though he was sent to. Natsume very rarely talks about his feelings, but they felt so important this time that he had to say them out loud.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six

Even though Natsume didn’t say it to Mikan, Shiki got the information from him via telepathy and then conveyed the information to Yuka.

Now that Yuka and Mikan are reunited, they can all go to see them off, fighting Fuukitai and Luna along the way. Narumi and Mikan are trapped in an enemy’s ice alice for a moment, until Natsume melts the ice and takes Mikan’s hand. He wasn’t joking about staying by her side until the very end.

Until the very last moment.

Sure, she needed to reunite with her mother and Narumi, but they’ll be spending forever with her after this night. He only has these next few minutes. He’ll be the one to take her by the hand until he has no choice but to let go. Until then, he will stay by her side.

Lucky for them, Yuka’s plan to wait until the last moment for the key so they can leave with Naru panned out. “Tsubasa” arrives with the key and hands it off. There’s no time to waste; Yuka rushes to open the warp-hole but all that comes from it is an explosion.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Seven

Yuka and Narumi were caught in the blast. Yuka shielded Narumi with her body and took the brunt of the hit. She’s now in critical condition.

No hesitation. That's his only keepsake from his mother, his only reprieve from endless pain, but he'll give it Yuka because he can't not give it to her.

Natsume doesn’t hesitate, and he gives Mikan the healing alice stone that his mother got from Yuka. Yuka is Mikan’s mother. Her death would be crushing for Mikan, who’s already had to face so much trauma from watching her father die too. This all was about getting Mikan and Yuka out safely, and all that effort would be in vain if Yuka dies. And after Natsume has seen everything that happened in the past, he respects Yuka too. All Yuka has ever done is suffer, just like he has. To simply die after all that--he doesn’t want that either. Yuka gave his mother that alice stone, something that brought him a little reprieve whenever he had a coughing fit or felt ill. The least he can do now is give it back.

But it doesn’t work. It’s not enough. Yuka has enough time before her death to hug Mikan and apologize to Luna, but then her heart stops.

Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Eight

The ESP arrives to break the period of mourning. Luna can’t believe that he would orchestrate this, but it’s not much of a surprise to anyone else. The “Tsubasa” decoy reveals himself to be Goshima, who holds Mikan by the wrists. The ESP only needed one person with the stealing alice. Yuka had become extendable, so he eliminated her.

Goshima goes to surrender Mikan to the ESP, but she fights, and Natsume moves to fight too, because that’s his girlfriend and he promised he would keep her safe. But the ESP always has the barrier alice cast on him, always protected, even from Natsume’s strong alice. Even Natsume can’t help Mikan now.

But Shiki breaks the ESP’s barrier and Mikan rushes to her friends’ side.

Z is invading the school and threatening to take the students captive. The MSP needs her successor, Shiki to be appointed so that he can protect the school with his barrier alice. The ESP is in a bind. Shiki can either run away with Mikan as Yuka had intended to, or he will agree to stay and act as the MSP to protect the school.

Conclusion

God this arc is a mess when all you want are the NM moments. How dare they be so scattered! Anyways, Natsume now knows that Mikan loves him too, romantically, but everything has been upside down for a while, specifically tonight, so the future doesn't look bright. In the next part, we'll talk about how Natsume feels about being separated from Mikan when she's locked away.

Sorry this is late. I'm not in a fantastic mood today which affected my motivation. I shoved a bunch of content in here and it might be too much. I don't know. There wasn't a clear way I could cut it into multiple parts without them being choppy and short as hell. I just wanted to get to the next part because this arc was stressing me out.

In any case, I feel like crap right now emotionally, because this day was very draining. I'll try to post tomorrow at a reasonable time. Thank you for reading.

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #hyuuga natsume #natsume hyuuga #natsumikan #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #my meta #ga #mine #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: natsume #run by snow patrol for ur natsumikan song needs #for the last little while its been hard to motivate myself to do this essay when i feel so horrible #i want to NOT feel like this and focus on natsumikan bc they make me so happy but its been really hard #please have patience with me #bully @thesightofworms into paying more attention to me and my mood will improve. this is all her fault for abandoning me #none of this is nm related im sorry for venting here #please have a nice happy day #sry if theres issues here #sorry if it seems rushed. tbh the editing and formatting WAS bc i wanted to post and i felt Bad.#i dont think ill be fixing anything too major so apologies in advance

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queen-scribbles · 5 years

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📊 🚼 💋 for Tavi; ⛔️ 📢 👧 🌎 🎭 🎁 for Adi; ⏰ 💔 🐜 🌎 for Charity; 🔗 🌠 🍟 🌺 for Emiri?

TAVI

📊 - How does your muse feel about the state of the world? Could it be better? Could it be worse?

Oh, the world’s a fuckin’ mess, but there are pockets of beauty hidden in with all the terrible shit. Find those and life’s not so bad. Like almost everything, the world could always be both better and worse, depending. She’s pretty sure, though, that she’s never going to see the absolute worst it could be, unless things unravel way faster than she thinks they will in the aftermath of the Eothas Shenanigans in Deadfire.

🚼 - How would your muse react to losing a child? How would they cope?

OH boy. She would not handle it well, I think. At all. I mean, no parents copes well with losing their child, but given she’s already lost her parents and brothers (though she potentially has Khellin back by this point), I think it would be even worse for her. There would be lots of drinking the first week or two, lots of swearing, isolating herself from everyone except Aloth bc crying is a level of weakness she’s only comfortable showing around him. She would probably have some very strong, decidedly uncomplimentary words for Hylea(starting with (”FUCK YOU, WHY?”).

Though, I guess, there are a few influencing factors that might change things a little; how old a child, how they die… (esp. if, say, a godlike who gets *ahem* converted for their parent god she would be very. scary. indeed. But that’s a plot bunny I don’t want to chase bc that way lies many sad and terrifying things)

There would be healing eventually, though never complete, bc Tavi is nothing if not resilient.💋 - How does your muse feel about people who cheat? Do they see a reason for it, or is it completely immoral?

Fuckin’ assholes. She wants to break their faces in. In her opinion, if you’re in a relationship you need to cheat on(that you feel safe cheating on), just leave it.

ADI

⛔️ - How does your muse react to others breaking the law? If they would do it themselves, what is their reasoning?

She’s not really comfortable with it, but in some circumstances understands and would turn a blind eye if there was no other way for her to help. She knows sometimes parents steal food to feed their children etc. And in some places the law–whether the statutes or the people enforcing them–is corrupt, and in those situations, her view is more “do the best you can to help and protect the innocent”👧 - What is your muse’s relationship like with their siblings? Who do they get along with best?

She gets along pretty well with all her siblings. None of them are as curious as she is, so their eyes tend to glaze over a little when she goes off rambling about something new she learned, but she forgives them for that. She’s probably closest with Ben, actually. He’s the oldest of the siblings, ten years older than Adi. When the next kid down the line came along(Tia, three years younger than Adi), their mom was a little overwhelmed. Ben wound up playing with Adi a lot to keep her busy and from being too clingy while Mom was taking care of Tia. They bonded, and she’s been really close to him ever since.🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it?

(I hope this is right. The symbol didn’t show up, but there’s only one on the list like that, so hopefully I still got the right question xD)

She has no large-scale dreams of changing the world, no. But she wants to see as much of it as possible, and leave everywhere she goes better than she found it, so between those two things, she probably will change it, at least a little.

🎭 - How does your muse handle their emotions? Do they bottle them up or pour them out as soon as they start to feel?

Oh, she’s very open about her emotions, especially when she’s excited about something. Negative stuff she might try to hide, but she has a very expressive face, so it never lasts long. This girl walks around with her heart on her sleeve no matter what.

🎁 - Does your muse celebrate their birthday? If yes, how do they celebrate? If no, why not?

Yes. At home, there would be a big meal with all her favorite foods–and Ben probably invented some new dish that she’ll love as a surprise–her family spends the day together, there might be presents, and she definitely spends a lot of time reading.

CHARITY

⏰ - Does your muse feel like they need to do things quickly or do they take their time?

I mean, once she has a task in mind, she doesn’t see a point to dillydallying. She’s going to get to work. But she’s very patient, and understands some things take time to accomplish(knitting, for example), so she paces herself on those in order for them to still turn out good.💔 - How would your muse react to losing a romantic partner? How would they cope?

She’d be a wreck for a while, no matter what. If he broke up with her, she’d spend some time on self assessment, figure out if she did something that made her less attractive as a partner, and fix anything she might find. (If she doesn’t find anything and this is all on him, well, then, the wrecked stage will be much shorter) If she’s lost him because he died, she’s gonna grieve a really long time. That whole “perils of loving deeply” thing; the more you care, the more it hurts. She’d probably keep some article of clothing of his to wear when she misses him

🐜 - How does your muse feel about animal lives? Do they treat them the same way they’d treat a person, or do they feel they’re inferior?

She loves animals and values them pretty highly, but not quite the same level as a person. Like, if there’s a person and an animal totally helpless and in danger, she’s going to try and save the person first, but she’ll feel really guilty about not being able to save the animal too.

🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it?

Nah, the last time she tried to be vocal about making things better, she essentially got run out of town and her parents threatened. She’ll stand up for what’s right, but doesn’t want harm coming to the people she cares about as a result, so she tends to focus on smaller scale things.

EMIRI

🔗 - What are your muse’s standards for meaningful relationships? How quickly do they form relationships like these?

Mostly just the ability to form a strong emotional connection with someone. Shared interests are a bonus, of course, but not necessarily a requirement. Someone she can trust, who treats her like an equal, preferably alright with hugs and such as gestures of platonic affection, bc her Love Language is physical touch. The speed these relationships form varies depending on the person, tbh. She and Aloth bond really, really fast, like before they even get to Caed Nua. Hiravias it takes a little bit, but the two of them do wind up really good friends(a lot of their bonding is through the ‘The Gods Fucked Me Over But Good’ Club (his phrasing not hers) so the actually relationship doesn’t start developing til later in the game. Edér and Kana are sort of in the middle, Sagani’s another fast one(though that’s almost more Emiri imprinting on her like a baby duck who needs a mother figure at first).🌠 - Would your muse make a wish on a star? If so, what would they wish for?

She might, but wouldn’t more than half believe there was a chance of it coming true. She’d probably wish for either the guts to tell Kana she likes him or to remember her family better so maybe she could try and find them.🍟 - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could?

She’s pretty okay with her body. She’s occasionally regretted being godlike simply bc that’s the reason she got snagged by the pirates, but she’s pretty comfortable with her body and I don’t think she’d change anything. (Being moon godlike–the most accepted one–probably helps)🌺 - Does your muse have a favorite flower? Why do they like it?

Either Admeth’s Wyrt or Pilgrim’s Crown, both just because they’re pretty.

#thoughtful muses questions #tavi illani #adela tecali #charity #emiri

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fyrapartnersearch · 6 years

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bloodsport

hello!

My name is Emmy! i'm going to make this fairly short (or at least try to haaA). I am looking for 1-2 new rp partners!

I am currently in uni full time and work 2 part time jobs so please understand this is a hobby for me. My posting speed ranges from once every few days to once every couple of weeks. I am almost always available ooc though, esp through google hangouts.

I am in my early twenties and prefer my partners to be 20+. I love detailed plots and stories; crafting good posts is a huge part of why I love rping. I match/mirror my partner's length and put a high amount of importance on compatibility as writers. Good grammar, punctuation, spelling is A Thing for me. I tend to switch capitalization OOC but as an English minor, when it comes down to posting, I put 110% in.

If you want a partner that's invested in writing together and all the joy that brings, I'm your person!

what do I write?

I write a few fandoms, but not many. If I’ve got plots listed, they’re the ideas I have, but I’m totally open to yours as well. Stars denote how much I'm craving them. I'll also list the canon characters I write after I list the fandom!

Fallout: New Vegas & 4: Arcade Gannon & Elder Maxson, Paladin Danse - also got a ton of ocs for both ***plot for fallout 4 a: We explore the cut ending to the Brotherhood of Steel questline, wherein the Sole Survivor and Paladin Danse refuse Maxson’s final orders for Danse, and fight for Danse to become the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel. Would likely require you playing Maxson or Danse and me playing the other, with one of us playing the Sole Survivor. ***plot for fallout 4 b: Your/my oc is a double agent for the Railroad, with the mission to infiltrate the Brotherhood of Steel and send intelligence back to the agents back at home base. Your/my oc becomes unexpectedly attached to elder Maxson through work and circumstance. Eventually, your/my oc must make a choice of where their allegiance lies: within the arms of Arthur or with the faction they are fighting for. (potentially, we could double and do plot a & b at the same time.)

Mafia 2: Vito Scaletta *plot for mafia 2: we explore the dynamics of a relationship between Vito and your oc. Your oc could be in a position of great risk- think outside of the mafia, possibly a police officer, prostitute. Some position where power dynamics could be played with. If the pairing is m/m we could also deal with the themes of internalized homophobia and coming to terms with one’s identity.

Bioshock 1, 2 & Infinite: Brigid Tenbenbaum, Andrew Ryan, Frank Fontaine & Eleanor Lamb, Sofia Lamb & Booker Dewitt

**Marvel Cinematic Universe: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers - get @ me with your Stony plots (do people still write that??)

***greater Marvel Universe: Logan Howlett, Carol Danvers, Jean Grey ****random plot: We do a crossover and we ship Sharon Carter/Carol Danvers. I just. Uuugh I have a lot of feelings about them and I have hella muse for these babes. Lemme know if you’re down to give this a shot I will love you forever no word of a lie.

But honestly where my heart lies is within oc rp. Here are a few plots i have of mine, stars denote how much i’m craving them:

****(m/m) power & politics: My oc is a prestigious state senator, who lives a double life. He is currently in the closet with no intent on leaving it anytime soon. However, a certain someone falls into his life, making him question what he thought he knew for certain. Your oc breaks down the walls my oc has put up and changes him into a softer, better man. However, with an upcoming presidential campaign on the horizon for my oc, the limits of the secret relationship will be pushed and pulled beyond what both parties have ‘signed up for.‘

****(m/m) the guardian: Your oc is a newcomer to the nhl but is quickly making waves- think Connor McDavid style. He’s young and impressive, but mostly, impressionable. He starts to get battered around by both his teammates and opposing teams. After a few hard hits and fowl play within the game that have cost your oc bench and recovery time, the team’s coach calls in reinforcements to boost the team’s morale and serve as a protector to your oc. My oc is a player who hasn’t got the talent part but has got a huge heart. Not to mention… huge hands. Good for makin’ fists. Good for fightin’. My oc protects your oc during the games, coming to your oc’s aid, picking fights for your oc and protecting him on the ice. As such, the two players grow attached to one another.. perhaps too attached for the captain to be comfortable with. Possibilities for a love triangle and other complications, for sure

***(m/m) too good to be true: Our ocs start out in the whl, both as promising wingers. Their good chemistry is vital to bringing back their team’s success. However, one of our ocs starts to get too attached to the other, and when an nhl draft separates them, one of our ocs is all too eager to cut contact and try to forget. The two excel in their nhl careers without one another, and end up on nhl teams with a history of deep rivalry. Occasionally, the gloves hit the ice, fueled by the tension of unresolved feelings and the pressure of the respective teams to keep up the rivalry. The two are reunited when they are both chosen to play nationally for the same team, and are forced to reconcile what they have both buried so deeply within them.

***(m/m) big money: These two ocs play for rival teams in the nhl. While their teams have a history of tension, our two ocs take it to the next level. Audiences are more excited to watch these two fight than they are to watch the game itself. There’s a market in the violence between these two, and a reputation to maintain on both ends. If the public found out that these two were secretly seeing one another, their careers would both be over.

**** (m/m) sugar daddy: My oc is a law student studying in your oc’s country in order to get their degree abroad. They’re from eastern Europe and uh. broke af. They settle into an arrangement with your oc where your oc agrees to ~pay him for his company~ after they meet while my oc does camming online to make ends meet. We could take it anywhere- your oc could whisk mine off his feet and 'save’ him or. Be toxic & trashy and make my oc’s life hell.

Okay and, here are just some general prompts that could be intertwined with the plots above, or could be something we use to springboard into our own rp:

my oc has serious commitment issues. they often go around ‘ghosting’ individuals after 4-5 dates, with little to no explanation of why. your oc falls for mine, and is the first to confront my oc about their shitty habits.

your oc and my oc were best friends, but they lost touch over a stupid fight they had when they were preteens. they can’t believe that they’re seeing one another in a bar, halfway across the world from where they met.

your oc and my oc were flames. my oc proposed to yours, but yours turned them down. they never spoke again… until they were sharing a crammed elevator, with my oc being completely intoxicated, and still confessing their feelings for your oc.

your oc is a huge fan of my oc’s nhl career/political career. your oc wins a contest to meet and have dinner with my oc. while my oc expects a boring night out, my oc is completely surprised by how well they hit it off with your oc.

my oc, your first oc and your second oc all grew up together. your first oc has always been pining for my oc’s attention, and is thrilled when my oc and your first oc finally get together. they develop a long term relationship, but my oc knows it would devastate your first oc if they told them that they have been seeing your second oc for most of the relationship.

I recognize that a lot of these focus on the nhl/the lives of professional hockey players- please don’t be worried about hockey knowledge/nhl jargon/whatever else goes through your head! I’m more interested in sport as a realm for drama than i am for following the rulebook and being 100% accurate to life when it comes to hockey. There’s a lot i don’t know and am still needing to learn, myself! If you know a lot, great!! If you don’t, let’s figure things out together! as for general oc ideas, here’s a list:

professor x student

veteran x civillian

cop x criminal

** OC superheroes (I have a lot of muse for this one!)

street racing, fast-and-furious-esque setting

rival gangs

** nhl/hockey based (lol obviously)

small town canadiana or americana

fun, fluffy romance based modern settings

historical setting- preferably, the second world war/1940s-1960s

light worldbuilding - new to this but wanting to learn

honestly whatever you can pitch to me that isn’t high fantasy :)

I can expand on and work with any of these ideas, these are just like, topics. Whatever i do with you, I promise it’ll be fleshed out, with tons of opportunity for drama.

how do we get started?

pleaaase send me an email at [email protected] ! I will get back to you asap, but please give me some of your thoughts/an idea of why/what you'd like to write with me!

I am also almost always around on google hangouts.

We can sort out the brass tacks there and figure out if we're a good match. :)

Thanks for your time and I hope I hear from you!

#indie rp #indie roleplay #independent roleplay #oc rp #multiple paragraph #long term #email #marvel rp #avengers rp #smut rp #mcu rp #submission

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