Tumgik
#either of those. idk which one would make more sense bc on one hand. i can see her being really into medicine and making advancements there
cryosewn · 1 year
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do i also make an akademiya au
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dreamii-krybaby · 1 month
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Ok i haven’t rlly spoken about EP7 bc I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY that my brain can’t put it into words, like bro I gotta process words…wordssss man, and organize them in an understandable human language
But I will say this with not to much elaboration
SPOILERS FOR EP7
Warning: This is so fucking long holy shit this was originally going to be super short but my ADHD went beserk holy shit-
So it seems that Yeva is the only drone who successfully has had the “Patch” aka cure work on her in some way (Patch version 2.1.8 according to the files shown in EP7)
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perhaps isn’t a one off cure and constantly needs updates bc the solver somehow is able to by pass the previous patches
or it’s simply the only version that has successfully worked and the rest hasn’t, because all of the other test subjects has gotten no effect or got their cores corrupted
and in Nori’s case, it was on progress
But the patch doesn’t seem to get rid of the solver immediately, either it needs constant updates for it to slowly kill it or it keeps it at bay but doesn’t necessarily gets rid of it, maybe it prevents possession or lower it’s chances drastically
Now this is very interesting, it makes much more sense why the first thing they did when Nori got possessed by the solver and shit started to go south they wanted to get Yeva, she is the only one who has somewhat of a success on the patch project.
Or maybe they wanted to bring her so she could calm her bestie down or put her in place lol.
As to why Mitchell left her outside of the cathedral, I think is because he didn’t trust her and feared her, due to her off-standing cold behavior. Like the way she looks at him, how she didn’t want mitchell to hold her hand and sort of slapped his hand away, and well him just witnessing the horrors of possessed nori. And when he saw the sentinels had broken free, he may have used the opportunity for them to kill her off by locking her outside
The other reason as to why Mitchell left yeva is bc he simply well- lost her. Maybe when he looked back at the sentinels had broken free he lost sight of her and assumed they might have gone after her
And it may reinforce my idea that she purposely went outside with her husband to find the cross usb with the patch, she already had plethora of motives imo but her main one would be to find this patch and give it to her daughter.
And with yeva having the patch which may given her more control over her body may explain how Doll also has more control over her body, since she inherited Yeva’s patched version of the AS
or maybe that didn’t happen bc that contradicts with my idea that she was after the patch for her kid due to weird genetic shit, unless the AS somehow bypassed the patch or some shit idk
Also her death makes much more sense, in a previous post I analyzed the flashback scene in EP3 and came to the conclusion Yeva died first, then her husband. Knowing that she was willing to put herself in danger for Nori moments before the core collapse.
LIKE I DONT HAVE A VIDEO BUT IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY AT THE EPISODE YEVA IMMEDIATELY PUSHES NORI BEHIND HER AND PUTS HERSELF IN THE FRONT TO PROTECT HER AS SOON AS THE CORE IS MOMENTS FROM COLLAPSING
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She is definitely seems protective of the people she cares, and she is willing to endanger herself for them. Which may explain why she died so easily to V.
Perhaps she thought that by sacrificing herself her husband and kid had a higher chance at survival.
AND IT WORKED, sure, her husband died right after her leaving her kid with no guardian and Doll did die in the long run but in that moment Doll DID survive.
Which actually, if she indeed sacrificed herself for her family makes it…so much sadder, like it worked….but not quite….and failed in the end, her sacrifice was worthless in the long run. :(
GODDDD I LOVE HER CHARACTER SO MUCH :(
SHE GENUINELY SEEMED SO NICE AND CARING AND PROTECTIVE OF THOSE SHE CARED ABOUT AND IS CLEARLY WILLING TO ENDANGER HERSELF AND SACRIFICE HERSELF FOR THOSE SHE HOLDS DEAR I CANT-
IT MAKES HER DEATH SO MUCH MORE SADDER TO ME GOD-
LIKE I LOVE CHARACTER WHO ARE COLD AND STAND-OFFISH BUT DO A 180° WITH THEIR LOVED ONES AND ARE ACTUALLY VERY SWEET AND KIND AHHHHHHHHHHH
Ok enough of me going bonkers over dead mom who haunts narrative, my other explanation as to why she died to V so easily, contrasting her absolute girlboss of an introduction in EP7
First of all, V is a disassembly drone, a new unknown mysterious species to Yeva. And DD’s have the AS and Yeva may have tried to use her AS against V which didn’t work wich may have caught her off guard. There can also be the factors she might have been not in the right mental and emotional headspace, we don’t know how much time happened between the core collapse and her last moments, a lot of shit could have happened that may have taken a toll on her, affecting her combat abilities.
Also am pretty sure your brain will go bonkers when a literal angel of death tries to kill you, your husband and your child.
Also let’s not forget that she MAYBE thought that she did deserved to give up her life for Doll not only to give a better chance of survival but because like Nori, she blames herself for making Doll start living a horryfing situation. It was HER genetics who passed down the AS to her OWN CHILD, she may have not known better but I cannot imagine the amount of guilt that must have caused her. She KNOWS what the AS is capable of and she just accidentally passed it down to someone young and innocent who is also her own kid.
LIKE HOW AM I STILL SEEING MORE LAYERS OF YEVA JUST BEING ABSOLUTELY TRAGIC
God she deserves so much better. :(
Well tbh a lot of these things am mentioning is me trying to figure out how the hell Yeva saved Nori from the solver while serving cunt only to wind up dying to V with a simple bullet to the head. Am I on copium?
Tbh I understand more on why Doll was so hellbent on revenge, I too would kill to avenge Yeva (YEVA MY GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH MY BABYGIRL YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER-)
Also yeah I could make a whole essay on Doll’s death, I fully expected her death but I feel the way they executed it didn’t do her justice at all.
Even if I find her super frustrating I like to think she is in robo-heaven with Yeva now, hopefully with her dad too.
Anyways I have more to say but I think I’ll leave it for other posts
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goldeunoias · 1 year
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Soft.
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A/N: FUCKING REPOST BC TUMBLR FLAGGED IT 
this is the only flagged thing i’ve ever gotten and literally it was a chubby reader fic screw thaaaaatttttttt
this is for the kinkiest jay stans out there ngl
@jaylaxies​ I DID IT
pspspspsp please tell me how it is/do you like members being written this way please 🖤
Word Count: 5.1k (of insanity)
Synopsis: Chubby! Reader x Sugar Daddy! Jay
Warnings: ..........idk even how to like describe it uh, public teasing, semi-ish public teasing, dirty talk, daddy dom jay for the win, multiple orgasms, guided masturbation, fem oral, men oral, messy sex, like kinky dirty messy sex yall, um, pet names like cupcake and pumpkin and princess, there’s some...let’s say my imagination ran wild and i couldn’t even finish reading it bc i got flustered at my own self
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How you guys met....
Even at first glance, you were the absolute cutest.
“Is it just a table for one?” You asked him softly, Jay almost missing the question because he was too busy staring at you.
Jay snapped out of it and shook his head, clearing his throat. “Uh no, I’m expecting a client here soon so for two please,” He remarked, giving you a smile.
You smiled back at him and his heart couldn’t help but sing at how the roundness of your cheeks became accentuated.
Adorable.
Jay spent the next two months visiting the same restaurant at the same time, clinging onto the moments when you’d smile sweetly at him or get bashful and look down at your feet as you led him to his table. He constantly made the excuse that this restaurant was close to his office and clients liked coming here, which was true, but of course, there was more to his motives.
“Table for one today?” you asked him like always. Perhaps on purpose or by accident the button-up blouse you wore was buttoned down lower than usual and he felt like such a pervert but he couldn't help but internally swear at how soft your cleavage looked. To add onto it, you also wore a pencil skirt instead of your normal black slacks and at that point, he would’ve given up his investments just to be between your plush thighs.
As he followed you to his usual table he quickly took a couple of motivating breaths, fidgeting with his hands slightly.
“So, what are you doing after work?” Jay inquired as you led him to his usual table in the back.
You chewed on your cheek in thought as you set down his menu, looking around to make sure your boss wouldn't see you loitering around.
“Probably nothing, maybe watch some trashy television or something,” you shyly giggled, fumbling with your hands as you felt his carob-eyed stare.
“Then, if you would like of course, would you like to go out on a date with me? I promise I won’t take you out to dinner here,” Jay joked, your heart racing as you saw his expensive smile.
Your eyebrows raised in surprise at the remark, mind faltering for a bit.
Jay only chuckled at your silence, fumbling with the edge of the menu.
“You may say no, as long as it’s not the whole I’m not worthy of love and affection or something along those lines,” he joked plainly. His sense of humor was rather dry but it made you giggle nonetheless, playfully whacking him with the spare menu you had.
“I’m not that cliche of a person, though maybe thirteen-year-old me would have said something along those lines. I just well,” you stood up a bit straighter, “I just thought you’d never ask y’know?” you spoke playfully, looking around before leaning down near his face so your coworkers wouldn’t hear any of what you were about to say.
“I mean between you and me, the food isn’t that great for the price you’re paying. Someone coming here routinely to eat is either a. Trying to be sly and smooth and is falling miserably, or b. Is a crazy person for thinking the food is actually worth the price to enjoy so routinely.”
Jay clutched his hand over his heart at the subtle dig you made at him and could already feel his heart swelling with your personality as well as how gorgeous your features looked up close.
“So, can I safely say that this failed attempt to be sly and smooth has won over the girl I’m currently pining for?”
You pouted brightly in feigned thought before smiling and nodding at him, grabbing a sheet of paper and pen from your pockets to write down your number and availability.
“See you around then,” you remarked before smiling and walking off, Jay having to kick himself internally for staring at you walk away a bit too intently.
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Present...
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He couldn’t touch himself.
He made a promise to you and it would be unfair to break that to you when he asked you of the same. Instead, Jay rested his head against the shower wall with his eyes squeezed shut, trying to think pure thoughts but his mind kept circling back to sticking his member between your chubby thighs and hearing you whimper as he moved in and out of them, or perhaps your plump cheeks filling up as you tried to wrap your mouth around his tip.
He was going crazy and he’d never felt so desperate or horny, not even when he was a teenager going through puberty. He turned the water to cold in the hopes it would bring him back to sanity since you were already fast asleep in his bed, and he’d feel like a complete jackass to wake you up for something like this.
Unfortunately, the cold water wasn’t helping and his heart picked up in speed when he heard you knocking on the door, his absence soon waking you up from your nap.
“Jay? Is everything good? I thought you were just going to the bathroom. Why are you taking a shower at 2 in the afternoon?” you inquired innocently through the door.
His mind went blank because he had no idea what to come up with besides the truth, though he wasn’t sure the truth would be something you’d want to hear.
“I just, um….thought I needed to take one to reset my brain y’know” Jay lied measly, never being the best at this sorta thing.
“I’m coming in you’re being weird,” you told him, opening the door Jay’s heart was pounding in his ears as you saw through the glass door the very prominent erection that was in front of your eyes.
“Oh,” you stated, shifting on your feet awkwardly. “Were you about to…touch yourself?”
The eyes you gave him went straight to his heart as he avidly shook his head, clearing his throat.
“Well, no quite the opposite actually I…well you…. shit, princess you looked so adorable in your sleep shorts and t-shirt it just did something to me, “ Jay awkwardly rambled out, wanting to sink onto the floor.
You nodded and went to the shower door, opening it before getting down on your knees, and shifting back and forth on the bathroom rug.
“Princess you don’t have to-”
“I-I want to. But I don’t know if I will be as good as you want,” you informed him, opening your mouth and softly wrapping your mouth around his tip.
“Shit, wait princess let me sit down first” Jay breathed through gritted teeth, his cheeks getting rosy.
“Then I’ll join you,” you whimpered out gently sitting up on your knees and moving inside the shower with him, clothes still on. As Jay sat down on the bench in the shower he couldn’t help but stroke his member with the fervent drops of precum leaking out: the cool shower water was partially soaking your head and getting onto your shirt as well, the temperature causing your nipples to prod against your shirt more prominently.
Hesitantly you leaned forward and took his tip inside your mouth, saliva already beginning to coat his member in anticipation.
“Fuck princess” Jay groaned deeply, his legs shaking as his eyes fluttered to the back of his head. You watched his reactions to make sure you were doing things right, satisfaction coming over you when his abdomen clenched at the texture of your tongue running along his vein.
“Seongie, look at me” you huffed, slowly licking a long strip on the side of his member to get his attention. At the sensation, Jay couldn’t help but buck into your mouth some, hurried apologies leaving him when he saw your cheeks get full.
“Here princess, hollow your cheeks out some more? Just like that~, good girl~” Jay praised through half-lidded eyes, watching as tears rolled down your plush cheeks. His praise made you want to take more of him in your mouth despite the ache, Jay noticing it and stroking your cheek affectionately.
“Careful cupcake, don’t hurt yourself. Come up for air yeah?” Jay teased, gently pulling you off of him. Your face was disheveled and your breathing was ragged as you licked some of the saliva that coated your lips, a slight whine leaving you when he wouldn’t give you wanted what you wanted.
“More please,” you rasped out, a yelp leaving you when Jay tugged at your nipple.
“More?”
You nodded.
“More what?” he teased, flicking your nipple with his index finger. Your breath hitched and you shifted as you felt drops start to collect in your underwear, feeling bashful all of a sudden.  
“Princess, can you do something for me?”
“I-it depends on what it is,” you countered, biting down on your lip when Jay gestured for you to sit between his legs with your back against his chest, Jay’s hands massaging your inner thighs.
“Can I touch you pumpkin?”
You nodded and Jay tsked, his breath tickling your ear as his hand found its way between your legs.
“Daddy likes it when his princess uses his words, mmkay?”
The sound of his voice made you squirm and you couldn’t help but clench around nothing from the sound, rushing out a timid “yes daddy”. You felt bashful at your own mouth saying the words, watching as Jay reached for the shower head and turned the water to something warmer, one of his hands holding one of your thighs open.
“How does this feel?” Jay questioned gently, tilting the shower head so a stream of water was hitting your puffy clit. Even through your shorts and underwear, the sensation made your toes curl, a choked groan leaving your mouth as he clicked the setting to something harsher.
“It feels weird-oh god,” you whimpered out, eyes closing shut at the fluttering sensation.
“I wonder how sensitive your chest is princess, shall we find out?” he quipped with a smirk, moving the shower head so streams of water pressed lightly against a pert nipple. Your body felt hot at how much whining you were doing at such simple feelings, your moans getting caught in the back of your throat as an effort to suppress them.
It only made Jay tsk in “disappointment” at your attempt to hide your sounds from him, giving you the shower head in one of your hands.
“Aw princess, you know I told you not to be so shy around me~”
You could only whine in reply, having a feeling where this was going.
Jay hummed and guided your hand so the water was pressing against your clit once more, Jay using his other hand to wrap around your free hand and guide it to your chest.
“Look at how turned on you are princess, your nipples are just begging to be teased,” he whispered in your ear, guiding your hand so that you rolled the hardened bud between your fingers. Your jaw went slack and the back of your head dug into Jay’s shoulder, Jay using your other hand to press the water even closer to your clit.
“Daddy Iwantmore,” you gasped out, writhing as you felt such delicate but intense sensations.
Jay chuckled and kissed your temple, turning off the shower water while one of his hands guided yours into your shorts and past your underwear. “Such a good girl princess using your words for me,” he praised softly against your ear, grinning against it when your breath stuttered when you felt your slippery arousal.
“Have you ever fingered yourself pumpkin?”
You shook your head and stuttered out a “no”, squirming against his back when he slid both yours and his inside. Jay had to hold onto your waist to keep you from squirming around too much as his and your index fingers pushed passed your walls, the lewd sounds from your core echoing against the shower wall.
“Mm, aren’t you just the cutest? Here let daddy help you, yeah?” He cooed softly, pushing his and your finger inside until you both felt the spongy part of your walls. “You feel this princess? If you press against it, like this,” your breath caught in your throat as he did so, “it feels really good doesn’t it sweetheart?”
“Yes but i-it feels weird,” you couldn’t help but note, your eyes fluttering as he slid another one of his digits in. He guided his and your hand so the movements inside your core were languid, your toes curling every time your fingers pressed against your spongy walls.
“Raise your shirt up f’me princess, so I can see those pretty nipples of yours.”
His blunt way of dirty talk instinctively made you clench around now just his fingers as you used both of yours to roll your shirt up, shivering as the cool air made contact with them.
“Play with them, show me how you make yourself feel good,” he purred gently in your ear, his thumb rubbing over your clit gently as a means to convince you.
You gulped but massaged your breasts softly, whimpering when you tugged at one of your hardened nipples then switching to rolling the tender bud between your fingers. Jay couldn’t help but grin since with every ministration you gave yourself he could feel you clench down on his fingers like a vice, the lewd sounds echoing against the shower walls as you soaked his digits.
“What am I gonna do with you princess, you’ve already soaked my hand from a little foreplay,” he teased, speeding up his fingers as drops of essence ran down his hands. He suddenly stopped much to your displeasure and chuckled when he held his fingers in front of your face, sticky white-tinted droplets running down his fingers.
“Not only that, but you’re fucking creaming yourself as well. Have you ever done that before sweetheart?” He inquired as he sucked the digits, groaning at the taste. You shook your head and he smirked as he held his middle finger to your lips, exploring your mouth with the digit as you tasted yourself.
“You can be messier than that. Add more saliva,” he commanded with gentleness to his voice, using his free hand to tug at the other nipple you didn’t get to. You groaned against the digit and did as he instructed and let the droplets of saliva gathering in your cheeks run free and drip down his hand and some onto your chest.
“Good girl~, the more saliva the less your mouth won’t blister when you take me in your mouth,” he informed, gesturing for you to get back on your knees for him. You eagerly did, your body buzzing with excitement and lust as you were face-to-face with his member.
“Are your knees okay on the shower floor princess?” Jay inquired tenderly as he stroked your plump cheek, finding the way you puffed them up in thought adorable.
“Mhmm, it’s okay it doesn’t bother me,” you soothed him, sticking your saliva-coated tongue out as an obvious hint for him to give you what you wanted.
“Tap my thigh three times if it becomes too much for you,” he reminded you as you took the whole tip in your mouth, humming contentedly. The deep groan he let out against the shower walls was more than enough motivation as you tried to relax your throat to take more of him, Jay’s hands coming on either side of your face to stroke the tears forming in the corners of your eyes. You could tell when he was looking fully at you and when he wasn’t because every time he did so you’d feel him twitch in your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks so the saliva trapped in pockets could coat his member as well.
Jay bit down on his upper lip and rested his head against the shower wall to keep his composure, his thighs shaking and abdomen clenching being a glorious site to you. Feeling like teasing him a little you slowly pulled off of him and called his name softly, Jay staring at you through half-lidded eyes as he caught his breath.
“Daddy, don’t you want to look at your princess?” you asked him sweetly as you licked the underside of his member, your saliva coating every expanse of it. Jay groaned out your name and shuddered at the feeling, a knot forming in his lower abdomen as you suckled softly at the tip, sticking out your tongue to cushion the underside.
“Shit wait princess I’m close,” he panted out, trying to gently push you off of him. You hummed around him and shook your head no, the vibrations making him choke on his own breath. He’d never felt this level of need before and he couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was up with him.
But he knew it was you, the girl who he’d become so enamored with that as soon as he looked down at your soft and pleasing eyes he felt the knot in his stomach snap, holding your head in place as hot ropes of white enter your mouth.
“Spit it out princess don’t swallow,” he pushed softly through ragged breaths, already feeling bad that he came in your mouth in the first place.
“Like this?” you questioned with innocence, letting your jaw go slack so drops of his cum trickled from your mouth and down your jaw some even landing on your still-exposed chest.
Jay swallowed thickly at the sight and could already feel himself get hard again at the sight; though he never considered himself a person for messy sex, the way you looked in front of him had him questioning and disregarding any morals that pertained to the topic. He grinned and pressed two fingers against the center of your tongue to gather the remaining droplets of his cum that may have remained, holding it up some so that it leaked down onto your chest with the other droplets.
“Mm princess, just like that.”
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After much convincing, you’d found yourself being taken to perhaps one of the most expensive shopping centers in the city, practically everything that you’d looked at having at least four numbers for the price.
It didn’t seem to bother Jay in the slightest, almost encouraging it when you’d shyly point to the shoes or skirt that had caught your eye. You’d never been one to go out shopping in public, something about the anxiety and the stares always getting to you. However, it seemed Jay had a knack for picking up on any slight change in your emotions, squeezing your hand, or kissing your cheek while whispering to you how beautiful you were any time negative thoughts entered your head.
While Jay went to the bathroom your eyes couldn’t help but stare at the size 00 mannequin wearing the loveliest lingerie you’d seen: it was a babydoll dress with lace straps and accents, all in an alluring shade of crimson. You were so enamored by it that you didn’t see Jay come up alongside you and rub the back of your hand, causing you to jump slightly.
“What’s got you staring so intently princess?” Jay drawled, following your stare as he looked at the lingerie. “Do you want to go inside and try it on for me? I’d love to see you in it,” Jay couldn’t help but remark, his hands massaging your hips.
“It wouldn’t like that on me you know,” you couldn’t help but remind him, cheeks getting hot.
“I know that, that’s why I want you to try it on because you’ll look so pretty in it,” Jay complimented, gently grabbing your hand and leading you to the store before you could protest.
As soon as you walked in you felt the store clerk’s judgemental eyes on you and you immediately wanted to cower away, Jay noticing and squeezing your hand.
“Excuse me but I was wondering if you had that lingerie on the mannequin in my lovely girlfriend’s size?” Jay asked confidently, holding a stare with the store clerk.
“It’s gonna cost more because of extra fabric you know” the clerk chided pointedly, her demeanor disappearing when she saw Jay take out his black card.
“Ma’am if you don’t want me to disrespect you as a worker on commission then do not disrespect someone who I care about please,” Jay said through a dazzling smile, the store clerk cracking and doing as he said without another word.
Now you stood in a large and fancy dressing room with Jay’s honey stare on you as you held the expensive fabric in your hand, rocking back and forth on your heels.
“Close your eyes while I get changed please,” you asked softly, still not entirely used to being undressed in front of him.
Jay complied and closed his eyes, though his brain was racing with so many thoughts that he thought his mind would explode.
“Okay uh, I guess you can open them,” you remarked softly, watching intently as Jay’s chest rose sharply.
“Shit~ I should’ve asked you to try it on at home so I could say all the things I’m thinking,” Jay whispered, standing up and moving until your back hit the mirror.
“You’re just being silly,” you giggled out, your heart beating a mile a minute as his hands danced on the hem of the dress.
“I’m not, I’m being serious kitten,” Jay cooed even softer so only you could hear, his hands massaging your soft thighs. He bent down some and started kissing your jawline softly and you couldn’t help but shiver at the sensation, his hands going up to tug at your hardening nipples through the silk.
“Stop sucking in your tummy princess you know how cute I think it looks,” Jay purred, sinking to his knees and raising the dress to lay soft kisses on your stomach his mouth going lower and lower.
“J-jay what if the clerk hears,” you whispered softly, clamping your mouth over your hand when you felt his tongue prod at your clothed clit.
“Can princess wait until she gets home then?” Jay inquired as his index finger pressed against your sticky wet patch, circling it with the pad of his finger. “Your cunt may soak my seats at this rate,” he teased as he stood up. “But I can wait princess, so let’s get you changed and you can take this home and model it for me yeah?”
“O-okay,” you whined out, Jay teasing you even more by squeezing your face so your mouth went agape, his tongue gently flicking against yours for a second before pulling back. The entire time he led you outside the mall you felt like you were in a daze, Jay opening the car door for you with a sinister smile.
He started up the car and buckled your seat belt for you, his deep voice whispering in your ear sending shivers up your spine.
“Take your underwear off for me princess,” he ordered gently, Not moving the car until you complied, watching as he put them in the pocket of his jeans. You couldn’t help but shift side to side as you felt sticky beads leak from you and onto the expensive leather seats.
“Aw, princess must be dying to be touched huh? I can already see your cunt leaking on the seats and we’ve barely left the parking lot.”
“J-jay” “Is that what you should be calling me right now?” He warned you, looking at you with a raised brow.
You gulped and your face got hot, moving around as you felt more droplets escape you.
“Daddy please I just want to be touched don’t be mean, please,” you whimpered. At a red light, Jay turned and looked at you, loving how your eyes were already welling up with tears rolling down your soft cheeks.
“But when I’m mean you get wetter, so shouldn’t I tease you a bit more princess? Make you finger yourself with those small hands, knowing they can’t reach any of the places I can? You probably get off to that thought when you touch yourself don’t you,” Jay pouted, squishing your face as he looked back at the road again.
“No, I listened to you. I don’t touch myself as you asked, see I’m being a good girl so reward me please,” you choked out, his harsh words indeed making you so wet you felt arousal cling to your inner thighs.
“That’s my good girl~” Jay praised, his hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel going between your sticky inner thighs. You eagerly spread them and let out a staggered mewl as you felt his warm hand come in contact with your slippery clit, your legs instinctively spreading at the feeling.
Jay chuckled as he saw you in his peripheral, a twisting and desperate mess. “So cute of you cupcake. You used to be so shy with your sounds, now look at you, legs spread eagerly rutting into my hand as you’ve never been fucked before,” Jay stated matter of factly, your hand gripping his wrist as a way to usher his fingers inside of you.
“You made me like this,” you panted out, head resting on the car window as he slid his middle finger inside, his thumb gently stroking over your clit.
“I did princess?”
You whined a “yes” and groaned when Jay slid a second digit in, curling them briefly before pulling them both out. You wanted to complain but his essence-soaked fingers were quickly in your mouth, and you eagerly swirled your tongue around the digits.
“Such an obedient princess, good girl~” he hummed, retracting his fingers from your mouth and cleaning them off with his own, sucking your saliva and essence onto his tongue.
He pulled into the driveway and it felt like you could barely walk as he opened the car door for you and tossed the keys to his attendant, thanking them sincerely as he grabbed the bag carrying the lingerie.
“Wanna go upstairs and get changed for me?” he whispered in your ear, rubbing his hand over your stomach and hip affectionately. You gulped and nodded, still feeling like you were in a lustful daze as your legs struggled up the stairs.
“Since Maria just cleaned the master and spare bedroom meet me in my office yeah? I’d hate to mess up all her hard work, or distract any of the workers with our chattering” he said with a sinister grin. You knew that wasn’t the only reason why as you rushed out a bashful okay, going upstairs to the bathroom.
It was because his office was the only room that was soundproof.
You changed into the outfit and put a sweatshirt and some shorts over your entire, just in case you happened to run into the many staff that worked there. Gathering up your courage you knocked on his door and opened it when you heard his voice, body getting hot with anticipation when you saw him at his desk.
The top buttons of his dress shirt were undone and he’d set his glasses on the table as you stepped in, raising his brows.
“Hi princess,” Jay drawled as he leaned back in his office chair, flicking his head towards the door. “Go ahead and lock it for me yeah?,” he hummed, his hand going down to massage the bulge in his pants.
You turned around and did so and shimmied out of your shorts and sweatshirt, Jay biting down on his lower lip and leaning back in his chair as he took you all in. Slowly but surely you shuffled your way behind his desk so you stood right in front of him, leaning against the desk while he drank you in.
Jay chuckled and cocked his head to the side, a side grin on his face. “Princess is still wet isn’t she?” he remarked, grabbing a pencil and pressing the eraser head against your swollen bud. Even through your lingerie underwear, the sensation made your legs waver as you hummed in agreement, your face burning as you rutted into the sensation.
“Did I make you this needy sweetheart? So desperate to cum that you’re rutting something as simple as this,” He teased as he stood up, his body now pressing yours against the desk even more so as he circled the pencil slowly. You let out a “yes” and buried your face in his dress shirt, your breath getting heavier from such a degrading sensation.
“Turn around princess and spread yourself for me,” he commanded in that same gentle voice he always had when he was turned on, rolling up his sleeves as he kneeled down so his face was right in front of your soaked core.
“W-what are you gonna-” Your cheek pressed against the cool oak as Jay pulled your underwear down and slid a digit in, his warm mouth simultaneously coming to envelop your swollen clit.
You rested against your desk and let out a muffled groan as the knot broke almost instantly, your legs shaking as you struggled to hold yourself up while your core pulsed around his digit.
Jay pulled back and let out a deep chuckle, your ears perking up when you heard the sound of him unbuckling his belt.
“You came as soon as I slid a finger in princess?” Jay inquired, kissing the tops of your thighs and massaging them with his hands.
You gulped and nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed. “You’d just been teasing me for so long I-I couldn’t hold it back,” you murmured whimpering when Jay slid two digits in and started scissoring your core. Your back arched slightly when Jay came to hunch alongside you, his breath tickling your ear as you spoke.
“You wouldn’t believe how many times I have to hold myself back sweetheart,” Jay rasped in your throat, the bulge between his legs resting against the side of your thigh as he continued to scissor your core. His breath was heavy and he was slowly losing his mind, kissing your shoulder messily and nudging your head with his own to tilt your head back. He began leaving messy marks alongside your jaw and neck, the warmth of his tongue and saliva being felt across every expanse of skin he could find. Jay chuckled when you whined and try to hide away your face, causing him to stand up and remove his fingers, motioning for you to sit up and sit on his desk.
In doing so the syrupy essence that leaked profusely from you was now spilling onto his desk, and you were doing your best to show restraint from rutting your core against the cool wood, your head dizzy was a pleasure.
Jay put the two essence-soaked fingers against your lips and hummed a “good girl” as you sucked, holding your chin in his other hand as you stared at him with hazy eyes.
“Stay focused on me princess~” Jay cooed, shaking your head slightly to tease you.
“You have a long night ahead of you.”
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if you liked this PLEASE PLEASE let me know bc the i’d be inclined to do this sorta thing for other hyung line members 👁👁💕
likes don’t tell me anything and don’t make me more likely to write for members, i go off feedback <3333333
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fatuismooches · 5 months
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Hi!!! This is my first time saying anything here, so yayyy! But I say that one ask from another anon talking about how Dottore had never recorded fragile!reader's voice before and then forgot what it sounds like, and my brain made some jumps and--
I like to think that sometimes, whether when Dottore is just working in the room while reader sleeps (I like to think that he's modified himself enough that he doesn't need as much sleep as regular humans) or if he's also in the bed with you, that sometimes, reader's sleeping form reminds him a little too much of when reader was in a coma. Or perhaps, even worse, and that reader's time had come while he was sleeping/working. Immediately, he has to reassure himself that you're not, in fact, dead, by either going to check their pulse and keeping his hand there longer than it needs to be (what if they die the second he takes it off??) or, if he was closer to them or sleeping with them (in the literal sense), by even just listening to it. And he tries to rationalize it with himself (bc he's so i denial, I already know it) by being like "noooo, i'm not worried!! I'm a great doctor, and I have nothing to worry about!! I'm just... checking for abnormalities!!" as if he isn't just doing it to make sure they're still alive.
Idk, the thought just popped into my head. He's lost them before without a chance of saying goodbye, and he never wants it to happen again, especially if this time they'll be gone for good.
I'd like to think that reader wasn't really aware of it until one night when he was making a little more noise than usual, and they woke up groggily to find him with their ear on their chest, desperately holding onto you as if you were going to die any second. And then the second he realized you were awake, moved off was like "Hello, I'm not doing anything sus whattt"
So now reader knows he does it, but allows it because they think it's kind of cute, but also because they know that he would never admit his fears.
Anyway, I'm kinda tired, so I don't know if this actually makes any sense. But slay!!
Thank you for feeding us Dottore content, and I hope you have a good day or night!!
You've known Zandik for a long time. So you are very aware that he has weaknesses. Yes, even though the scholar tried to hide it, his walls would slowly chip away during those late nights spent in the dorm or on expeditions. But Dottore? After you woke up, you wondered if Dottore had any weaknesses. Dottore seemed to be a man of no fear, but perhaps you should have expected that because what would someone as God-like as him have to fear now? He has much power in his grasp, surely there is nothing that could bother him. He's no longer the same Zandik you once knew, and that's okay really, but you just wonder to yourself sometimes. Little did you know Dottore's one and only fear was about you.
Il Dottore considers himself a rational man in every possible subject area. Yes, he does not allow himself to be swayed by anything as irrational as emotion and instead focuses on logic. Whether his final decision is cruel or unethical is not something he cares about. But you... you are the exception. You are the variable he cannot control. And so irrationality is one of the things he despises, swore to himself he'd never be a victim of, but here he was anyway. Succumbing to an irrational mindset is the last thing he thought he'd do.
Often times when Dottore sleeps with you, he doesn't actually sleep. He gets into the bed to appease you, because it brings you comfort, (your words) lays there for a bit until you fall asleep, and resumes his work. He is just far, far too busy to stay. But, nowadays, he finds it even harder than usual to say. Why? Because of his irrational mind, once again. He needs to know that you are alive. Which is a dumb fear really, you're not going to die, you're not going to leave, your body is stable (for now) so there's no need to worry. But he needs to know. He needs confirmation. You know. He really hates that you've done this to him. He hates it. But he can't blame you, only himself, because if he cured you already he would never have to deal with irrationality again.
Dottore is used to the quietness of a human heart, from his experiments of course, clicking his tongue in annoyance from how easily they died and feeling no emotion. But your heart, if your heart stopped... well, his madness would not be transcribed to paper very well, because it would be too hard to describe. But he denies that. And he especially denies it to you. He denies it, so that's why he finds himself counting your heart's beats per minute anyway. But now you know that even the great Il Dottore has a fear and weakness. After all, when it's only the two of you, he is only Zandik, the same man who fell hard for you all those centuries ago. But that's okay. You promised to always be there, even if he doesn't want you to be.
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daisymylove · 7 months
Text
Sword catcher spoilers, speculations and theories about "Ragpicker King" and some ramblings ahead, proceed at your own discretion.
So I'm 90% sure Vienne is alive and we will find it out when lin comes to the palace to treat her
She has an official art and there was a whole snippet about her, I don't see the point of making all that fuss about a character that was going to have three interactions with Kel (speaking of which, I kind of shipped them even tho I know ana will be his end game 👉🏻👈🏻 am I the only one?), kill some random guys and bite the dust. On top of that her arc was about to get so interesting. She is a trained assassin, oath bound to protect this little girl, whom she loves deeply, until she dies, but then her charge was murdered, and her life's mission came crashing down on her. The angst, the potential.Her dying would be a huge waste.
I don't question Jolivet's loyalty, at least not now, but Markus is not a mentally stable person (btw whats up with him? does anyone have a theory?).I think he lied she was dead bc markus may have killed her otherwise and, as dangerous as she is, Vienne may be more useful to them alive than dead with the possibility of a war looming over.I also don't discard the possibility that he may have personal ties to vienne and/or her family. The whole covering her with his cape could have been a show of respect for the black guard if she's really dead, like kel thought, but compounding with the fact that, even tho she charged on conor, jolivet did nothing to either stop or harm her, it struck me as oddly affectionate. Anyone can correct me if im wrong, but I dont remember kel mentioning anything about an accent, which makes me assume she speaks their language on a native level, so there's that
One thing I didn't like was that this trained bad ass assassin was completely unarmed during such an important event.Kel is always armed, even when impersonating conor he had a dagger on his person. Granted, it's easier to conceal weapons on male attire, but it would've been more realistic if she'd had at least one dagger, had been forced to use it and thus was left unarmed. Its not enough to tackle all those guys, as kel himself thought, but she wouldn't have been helpless.
I'm also 90% sure Lin and conor are going to have sex on a beach, I'm willing to bet money on it.I've read way too many books by Cc to not recognize her foreshadowing. Besides, she's fond of writing sex scenes on peculiar locations.
The "yes I'm the goddess come back" may have been scheming on Lin's part (loved that btw) but I'm sure she actually is the goddess come back. She will also be queen, as the prophecy foretells. Charlon saying to luisa "dance for your future court", but Lin ending up being the one to actually dance also reeks of foreshadow.
Now to the ragpicker king, we know almost nothing about andreyen and I have a lot of speculations. First I thought he was the Makabi, what about the ragpicker being a figure that has always existed in Castellane, his symbol being a bird and his having a bowl that allegedly belongs to makabi's lineage. But when he said ragpicker king is a title, which he inherited from another, I put it in the back burner (it hasn't been discarded tho, im not discarding anything for now and he would hardly tell kel "yo I'm this immortal entity and have been forging my death over and over for centuries" if that were the case) in favour of thinking he's the Maharam's exiled son. He's the right age and it makes sense for a boy that has been shunned by everyone and left to fend for himself to turn to crime.
What has been nagging at me, on the other hand, is that he matches Lin's vision of Suleman from her dreams. Pale, tall, handsome, long black hair and when his eyes were going to be described the dream was conveniently interrupted. I'm not saying he is suleman for sure, idk how that would work in practical terms -- is he an immortal and suleman never actually died at the sundering? unlikely, considering Lins dream and how vivid it was. Is he a reincarnation? Under that line of thinking he could be both the exiled boy AND suleman on a single person -- and he could have no relation to him whatsoever, the physical resemblance being just a coincidence (but really?) and I'm just crazy.His interest in the stone and magic in general checks out for both suleman and exiled son, so it isn't really an indicator.
I rather liked andreyen, merren and Ji an, tho, I really don't want him to be the bad guy, but as previously said I'm not discarding anything.It seems pretty obvious to me that he wants to use lin and her abilities in some way, much like he has a use for kel, but that doesn't necessarily mean he has nefarious goals or anything
I think Anjelica, Aimada, the malgasi princess whose name I don't remember now and the prince with the huge bank account will make appearances, they have been mentioned way too much to not feature at all
and what was that dream kel had with fire and phoenixes? There's something there, I can feel it
anyway, that's what I have so far
as a side note, I'm a bit drunk and haven't proofread this properly (i never do when writing on this blog tho, sorry lol), hope its coherent enough
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escapetheshark · 11 months
Text
Drunken Daze (part 1)
Bang Chan x reader smut MDNI 🔞
Part 1 | Part 2 | to be continued
I saw this prompt somewhere and the little cricket in my brain got excited. I'm not sure if I should like, actually write the actual smut? Sound off in the comments, besties? Yeah-
Anyway, you and your bestie Chris get munted and you confess you've never had an orgasm from sex with a man and he gets rightfully miffed and decides to take matters into his own hands (hehe I'm the queen of puns). Anyway, this is just the setup, Idk if anyone wants to read the actual smut bc I'm not sure I'm good at that bit. Well, I'mma shut up now, pls enjoy?
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The room spun around as you stumbled your way to the sofa, spilling the contents of your glass in the process and laughing at your own clumsiness. No effort was made to clean up the mess and, instead, you simply brought the cup to your lips in hopes that some of the drink would have survived the ordeal.
"Felix is gonna kill you," he said in between heartfelt giggles, struggling to sit up straight for a minute until he just gave up and slouched.
"Not if I kill him first," you retaliated, as menacingly as you could muster in your current drunken state. "He's probably getting some pussy right now, he doesn't give a fuck."
"Wish that was me," he commented, half-jokingly. You laughed, but you could feel heat pooling in all those places you wished were being touched. "It's been a long ass time."
His confession came as a bit of a shock. Sure, he was short as fuck, slightly awkward, and had the weirdest sense of humour that not everyone could handle but, if one could look past those character flaws, your friend Chris was a heck of a catch: cute face but not so handsome it's intimidating, nice veiny hands, a six-pack and, to top it all off, a nice round booty. Not to mention the dimples when he smiled, his warm brown eyes, the way his voice went up an octave when he was excited, how he curled up in his sleep like a silly little cat and -
"Yeah, same," you simply replied, unsure of how long it had been since he spoke, your mind racing more than usual - perhaps it was the alcohol or the fact that you suddenly became aware that Chris was wearing the perfume you had gifted him for his birthday a while back, something musky and sensual with a hint of sweetness, just like the man himself. "And it's not like I've been having any good action, either."
You were ready to lay the subject to rest and suggest watching some dumbass show, like The Tiger King or something equally outrageous but your last confession seemed to hit your best friend like a brick to the face.
"You're saying your ex never made you come?"
You were glad he couldn't see your face because you could swear it had turned as red as a fire engine. "N-no," you stuttered, hyper-aware of your existence all of a sudden. "Nobody has, ok? It's not that uncommon-"
"It's a fucking tragedy, is what is it," Chris protested, sounding like an activist fighting for equal rights. Which, in a way, he kind of was - fight for your right to orgasm, which was actually pretty valid. "Men are a nightmare!"
The way his voice swelled up with passion was funny, you couldn't deny, plus he sounded genuinely appaled. You simply nodded in agreement, as if he could see it, and looked around for the bottle of rum. However, when you tried to get up to fetch it, your knees immediately gave up on you, much to Chris's amusement.
"I bet I could make you come," he said matter-of-factly and you froze in your tracks, unsure if you were hallucinating, checking your glass for some weird powders or something. "It can't be that hard, those dudes are just idiots."
You gave up on trying to climb back onto the sofa and just decided to lie down on the floor, eyes fixed on the ceiling, doing your best to ignore Chris's musings. He was probably just speaking out of his ass, plus you were both pretty intoxicated.
"I bet they didn't even kiss you properly," he continued, and you wished he'd shut the fuck up, because his words were genuinely destroying you a little. "Probably didn't even tell you you're beautiful and that your hair smells nice."
"Chris, shut up," you spat, no longer amused. "Why are you torturing me like this?"
"What do you mean," he asked earnestly. Standing up felt like quite the workout but you felt you had to do it in order to look him in the eye for once. He looked confused and awfully drunk, as expected, his brown eyes open as wide as physically possible, his lips slightly parted.
"I've been trying not to fall for you, you're making it damn hard," you confessed with a deep sigh, bottom lip quivering, tears forming in your eyes.
Instead of replying, his eyes lingered on yours for a painful while, before he got up and stumbled his way into the hallway. You wanted to cry, really cry and possibly sob even. Not only because you were horrendously unsure of what had just happened, but mostly because you were supposed to share his double bed with him and that would feel super awkward after your stupid confession, so you'd just have to drag your ass to his roomate Felix's bed and hope the blonde didn't randomly show up at 4AM high off his rockers, he was cool and all but you didn't know each other like that.
You blacked out, you sure did. Your back sore from napping on the cold hard floor, head still spinning but not as bad as before, stomach growling and your mouth feeling drier than a convenience store sandwich. Rubbing your eyes, you made your way to his kitchen, wondering if Felix was back already because sleeping on the floor or on that busted-ass IKEA sofa seemed like your worst nightmare.
"Come to bed, you silly goose," his voice startled you out of your skin and you nearly screamed.
"Fucking hell, Chris-"
Trying to brush him off, you took a pint glass from his cupboard and filled it with tap water which you proceeded to down before shamelessly stealing a pack of Tim Tams from his side of the pantry - you hoped it was his side, at least.
"Are you still drunk," you raised an eyebrow, finally capable of looking him in the eye for a bit before embarrassment settled in once more.
"I mean, a little, but I want you in my bed," he shrugged and had the audacity to give you his world-famous puppy eyes. Now you had to do whatever he said. Those sad little stupid eyes could convince you to commit murder, legit. "I prommy I won't do anything."
"What the fuck does that mean, Christopher?"
"I meant everything I said, but I wish I had said it in a less cocky, sober-er? More sober? Yeah… way. I guess."
You had to stop chewing on your Tim Tam to fully process what the fuck was happening in that godforsaken kitchen at ungodly hours of the night. "Listen, let's just get some sleep and-"
"Can I kiss you?"
"Chris, you're not thinking straight-"
But before you could finish your sentence, his lips were on yours and you had to swallow the damn biscuit -cookie?- quickly before giving up your dignity to kiss him back, immediately moaning into his plush lips and feeling like an absolute fucking tosser. You started to wonder if you were dreaming or hallucinating, especially when his hand cupped your chin like in some fucking Keira Knightley movie. He seemed deadset on getting another moan out of you because his other hand immediately roamed inside your shirt, his fingertips very gently grazing up and down your side, that particular super-sensitive spot he had once accidentally found when he tried to tickle you.
"F-fuck-" You couldn't believe how easy you were being and how shitty you'd feel the following day once the hungover had fully run its course and your brain was running optimally once more. "I love you-"
I done fucked up, you thought to yourself when his lips abruptly left yours.
"I'm gonna make you come so hard you'll be forced to say that again."
Without another word, he took your hand and guided you to his bedroom. You'd been there a thousand times, you'd slept on his bed next to him, you'd spent countless hours playing League of Legends with him in there yet, for some reason, it felt unrecognisable this time. Even though you had sobered up, you somehow still felt horrendously drunk, maybe drunk on him and his stupid sexy perfume - that you blamed yourself for - and his stupid curly hair and his dumbass muscular arms and…
"Say my name, baby," he cooed, voice gentle but deeper than usual, a hint of darkness in his throat.
"C-Chris. Christopher-"
He chuckled, blushing as if he felt a little embarrassed by his own desire to dirty talk you.
"You'll be moaning a lot more in a moment."
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employee052 · 2 months
Text
ozzies long-ass TSP ramble
For context, a few days ago i was in a thinky mood when i watched this video on Valve catwalks. it mentioned death of the author, and while ive heard of it, I didnt understand what it meant until after the video explained it. So i got thinking. the following was a series of messages I sent to my friends on a discord server im in (with the exception of the last part bc i just thought of it now even tho im sick) that i compiled for yall into sections so its easier to read. these are just my thoughts and could be totally wrong, i just wanted to share aksjdh :P (plus this is my second time im posting this so there might be some inconsistencies)
(ramble under the cut so yall dont get a massive wave of text on your dash)
"smth smth death of the author smth smth reviews smth smth interpretations smth smth skip button"
like idk if this was obvious to everyone else n im just finally getting it or not, but the skip button ending being about the narrator seeing the negative reviews causing him to create the button in order to appease them, which said reviews ended up making him believe he was being preachy and obnoxious and unfunny, but as a result, he ends up believing it and trying to appease those interpretations rather than be more confident of his dialogue and what it means to him(whatever he may believe) and ending up dying at the end bc of it being a kind of literal version a death of an author of sorts
---
im just thinking about how timekeeper/settings person/432/whatever is really only interested in the player, but not stanley himself. and if the narrator ends up dying (or decaying at least in my interpretation) during the skip button, could the same be said about stanley as a character as well?
like we never see stanleys model as us, we dont see his feet when we look down, and the only time we see him in game is either as a hand during the bucket escape pod ending, the mariella endings, and the not stanley ending. and the last two are cutscenes. for all we know, stanley could have died at some point during the skip button after the narrator did and we would never know bc we cant see him
but since 432's desk being at the end of the epilogue which happens post skip button ending, i would have said that was the first time we ever see him interact with the game internally rather than asking for the time. but i do remember someone suggesting that the timekeeper was the one who removed the door in the skip button in order to kill the narrator off and get stanley/the player away from him in order to talk more
with that thought in mind, that would mean TK had to kill stanley and the narrator off in order to be able to lead the game, push beyond the barriers of a narrator and character and just talk to the player, one on one
---
it makes me wonder if what the curator said in the museum ending holds more weight
like, she talks to the player as well. both she and TK talk to the player themselves instead of stanley the character. and when she says "When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?"
stanley's function is a character in the narrators story, a literary device to propel the game forward. the narrator makes the race track, and stanley drives. without the narrator where would stanley go or do, without stanley who would move the story along?
"Can you see? Can you see how much they need one another? No, perhaps not. Sometimes these things cannot be seen."
and yet, hes dead, just like the curator said. because no matter what, he's never going to be able to truly make his own decisions. the confusion ending lays out how all the endings are scripted despite what the narrator believes and acts, its all predetermined.
and in a sense, the narrators dead too. no matter what stanley tries to do to change the story, or the narrator changes to the game in order for stanley to react to, its been planned long in advance for the eventuality. every word, every event. and with stanley's deaths, it ends up just bringing them back to the beginning again, "What exactly did the Narrator think he was going to accomplish?" if they always come back to the same preplanned paths, to the illusion of free will, it doesnt matter regardless. death doesnt become a statement, it becomes an inconvenience.
"But listen to me, you can still save these two. You can stop the program before they both fail. Push escape, and press quit. There's no other way to beat this game. As long as you move forward, you'll be walking someone else's path. Stop now, and it'll be your only true choice."
The only way to save both Stanley and The Narrator is by not letting the story play out to begin with. To beat the game, which means to let the game end after you win.
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and yet,
the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is neve-
In a game where there is no ending that stops the game in its entirety, where everything will keep on happening again and again and the end is never the end, the only way to beat it is to make a choice as yourself the player, not stanley the character.
because he doesnt get a choice, the narrator doesnt get a choice. they think they do, but they dont. the only way to beat the game is to not play it. (which makes sense given that there are achievements involving not playing the game in both the 2013 HD remaster and 2022 Ultra Deluxe)
both Stanley and The Narrator are two sides of the same coin that make up The Stanley Parable, and the only way to use the coin is to give it away.
maybe thats why the true ending of the game with credits and stuff like that, is the Not Stanley Ending.
You the player have successfully broken the fourth wall from the outside in, even though that ending was planned like all the others (ie, the game allowing you to disconect the phone), you break the illusion of being stanley the character, which the game ends up booting you out of stanley as it cant handle the "narrative contradiction".
maybe thats why the escape pod ending has the sign that reads "both the player and the narrator must be present in order to leave". its not stanley, its the player, us.
maybe thats why that ending is one of the most cruel. the only way to get there is to leave the narrator trapped in the boss' office. there's no way to get him to the escape pod. the end is never the end.
---
(this part was the new idea i just had today so this might not make sense i appologize)
going back to the beginning of this ramble about the death of the author and such. perhaps there is a way to get the narrator out.
with thoughts about interpretations and with he idea of the "death of the author", all of us have our own interpretations of the TSP characters. whether its design, or relationship wise, or characterization, or what have you. The Narrator in my head is different from you reading this, and that narrator is different from another persons perspective, and definitely our narrators are different to the one that lives in Davey Wreden's head, or Kevan Brighting, or anyone who has even heard of the stanley parable.
and that's not a bad thing! there can be many similarities to the characters that our interpretations share, some more common than others and some that make no sense at all, but for the most part we all have different interpretations of the characters.
I read a book called Book Simulator (The Reader's guide to not reading) by Chris Yee on stream once. The VOD is gone now. But I discovered the book because I heard the guy writing/the narrator of sorts for the book was written like the Stanley Parable Narrator.
It didnt help that Kevan brighting voiced over the commercial for it too askjdh
but back to the book. this will contain somewhat spoilers for it since it brings up a moment at the end of the book so feel free to stop here if you dont want to be spoiled
---
basically, in Book Simulator, Booksi (The book's instructional narrator on how to fake read at the start of the book) is arguing with The Narrator (no not ours, but the general narrator who speaks in the third person), however, its revealed by The Narrator that Booksi has a plan to take over the world by inhabiting more book simulators and distributing them across the world. But, the reader could kill off the booksi that they have in their hands that they are reading, to quote:
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"Or was he the original Booksi? Maybe not. Maybe the original Booksi had been vanquished long ago, and the reader was now facing one of the many copies roaming the world. Both Booksi and the Narrator knew the answer to this question, but neither would reveal the truth."
---
Taking from Book Simulator the concept of multiple iterations of one character existing in different copies of the media they originate from, maybe in a way that's how the Narrator may die in the stanley parable, forever stuck to repeat the same endings with the illusion of free will, but he lives on somewhat for everyone that has seen or heard of him in any capacity.
this may sound a bit preachy (oh the irony) but bare with me:
The Original Narrator from The Stanley Parable is dead, dead in the sense that he and Stanley are stuck within the game, given the illusion of free choice, and unable to leave nor do anything to try and escape, is also alive in the sense that we the players perception of The Narrator lives on in our minds.
The Narrator from the game might be stuck, but the Narrator i see in my head, the one i designed and draw and think of is perfectly fine and alive as ever.
and the same goes with you and anyone else who has heard of the narrator. their interpretation is still unique and different to them even if it all comes from the same media. he may not be exactly the same as the original, but hes still there. and in a way, hes free.
(man typing this last segment down makes me feel like a gd priest, and/or someone talking abt the barbie movie akjdhkjasdh so sorry if doesnt make sense at all :P)
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bigkpopstan · 2 years
Note
YESS that’s exactly what i meant!! making them cum untouched with JUST dirty talk
👍👍gotcha
18+ content.
warnings; sub enha, no touch rule mentioned, phone sex, consensual nude sending mention, restriction/pinning.
->heeseung;
heeseung would literally be a flushed whining mess</3 he’d buck his hips against nothing esp if he’s got his arms placed down in between his knees where his hands just almost give him friction but he knows that’d a bad idea. if you’re doing this in person all the hairs on the back of his neck will stand up at your voice being in his ear while his lip is tugged between his teeth hard enough to almost draw blood. I honestly think this type of thing would be his idea! I think he’d be curious and would really enjoy dirty talk and want to know just how far it can get him or if he can cum just from that if you do if for long enough. oh yeah ! he’ll snap his legs shut out of sensitivity or embarrassment so you might have to hold them open for him or hold one, which his soft sensitive thighs would just add to his enjoyment of this act.
->jay;
I love the trope for jay where he’s like embarrassed about everything or pretends he doesn’t like things but…I think…he’d be similar here but I also think jay would love to receive dirty talk and feel the coil in his stomach gradually build. I think the first time you make him cum untouched from whispering in his ear would be an accident! I think you’d have a hand trailing down his chest with your lips grazing his ear occasionally kissing it or his neck just trying to see how hard you can get him before you touch him or before you guys fuck but then he lets out one loud moan and cums without warning to either of you. his reaction would be a shy hesitated “I guess…we should try this again sometime” with a nervous smile.
->jake;
Jake is adventurous or curious in bed, he’d try everything once but he’s also…he isn’t the best at thinking of new things to experience so I do think this would be your idea inspired by his sensitivity and whimpers whenever you whisper in his ear. I do think it’d be more of a phone sex thing with Jake where it’d happen a lot where you’re not around. I don’t have much of a reason? maybe he doesn’t wanna touch without you or he’s got the ‘no touch rule’ or smth but he likes just cumming untouched thinking of you when you’re not around. he likes to send you pics of the mess he made after too if you’re not together esp if he’s wearing grey sweats. but in person, I feel like it’d be more of, leaning back with his back to your chest, possibly holding his wrists up to keep him from touching himself while whispering into his ear causing him to do those high pitched whines and moans.
->sunghoon;
I think !! I’m gonna change the position for sunghoon, bc in my head it’s either thigh to thigh next to each other or back to chest or phone but for sunghoon…have him leaning back or on his back in between his thighs so he can hold your arms while you whisper in his ears. idk that seems sunghoon and fits him, I think it just makes sense but make sure that there’s enough room between his bulge and your body that he can’t buck his hips to get friction! not that he would…I think he’d enjoy it enough he’d just lay back and moan or gasp listening to you dirty talking or whispering, both, in his ear. use one of your hands to caress his cheek too and he’ll shiver <3. but also ! his back to your chest with your arms wrapped around him while keeping his thighs spread so you can see his bulge or cock while you hold his jaw possibly while using a sweet voice on him<3 seeing the mess he makes in his underwear or on his bare tummy and thighs.
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xxmaddyxx · 11 months
Note
Hi!! I love your writing so much 💕 and I had a request, I was wondering if you could do kenma comforting the reader after she lost all her saved game data?
Basically my ps4 decided to try to off itself this week and I had to factory reset it, which ended with me losing all of my saved data, for every game I've ever played on there (including 500+hours in just one of those games 🥲)
Anyway I was just thinking who else would understand this pain better than the pro gamer himself <3
Thank you!
oh no :( im sorry you lost all your data ive had that happen and it's lowkey depressing. i gotchu with the headcanon though don't worry
Kenma x reader who lost her game data! masterlist
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one day you were chillin and playing your ps4... nothing strange happening at all
sike
your ps4 just powers off
and the woman was speechless
you sat there for a second looking at the black screen lowkey confused
me personally my ps4 is on life support so this is normal but anyway
you leaned forward and powered it back on
a few minutes later literally none of the games were working
it either had the "internet connection loss" message when you were literally right next to the router
or it just closed the game -_-
you texted kenma and asked what you should do
babe i think my ps4 died
wdym died?...
like it's not working
did you power it off and back on
it shut off by itself...
you might have to take it down to factory settings...
i can't do that do you know how much time i have invested in these games
babe idk what else to tell you
and so with a heavy heart, you opened the setting and took your ps4 down to factory settings
hundreds of hours of gameplay gone... because the mf ps4 decided to fuck up
you faceplanted on your bed
when you heard a soft knock at your door
you already knew who it was so you got up and opened your door to see Kenma with a dollar store bag in his hand and a dq blizzard in his hand
"babe, what're you doing?" you smiled at him
"losing your game data sucks, it's happened to me plenty of times." you and him walked to your room
he set the bag on the bed and handed you the blizzard as he went on his phone
you dug through the bag and saw candy, chips, and your favorite drinks
"omg Kenma, how much did you spend?" you picked up the receipt that read-
he snatched it
"dont worry bout it." he showed you his phone
it was one of his past streams
"chat, what should we play next, kinda bored."
you could see he was reading the chat and sipping on an energy drink
"babe what did i tell you about the energy drinks"
"shh"
on the stream you saw the screen go black, like yours did
"oh shi-" he choked on his drink
"kenma what did you do." you could hear kuroo's voice on the discord call they were on during the stream
"my ps4 just decided to not work."
"huh, that makes no sense."
"shut up and let me try to power it back on"
kenma skipped at couple minutes of the stream and you saw that his games were all glitchy too
"kenma you good?" kuroo asked
"bro i gotta take the system down to factory settings."
"are you sure? that's a lot of progress that you'll lose."
"yeah i know it's gonna suck."
sure enough, he did it on stream and all his progress was reset
kenma put his phone down as you fed him a bite of your blizzard
"see babe, it happens. it'll obviously take you longer to get your progress back bcs you play a lot less than i do, but we can have little gaming dates maybe?"
you kissed his cheek, "sounds great ken"
thank you for the request!! feel free to request more <3
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saintforan · 8 days
Note
So i saw that u made that Holders au and was open to questions so here goes:
Would the rest of the smiling critters have Miraculous/miraculum (idk how's it exactly called) too? Which ones would they have if yes? Would it be kinda based on the animals or character more, or maybe even smth else?
Cuz ironically the pig miraculum is like for a cheery person so it fits with the piggy smiling critter in both cases
OOP be prepared for another long ahh ramble post
Alright so, on the og series the miraculous are given to whoever the miraculous guardian aka master fu decides they are worthy of having them, so he gives the cat and ladybug miraculous to adrien and marinette bc they proved they were good people. The thing is that besides them two, and ofc the villain, the rest of the people that get miraculous they only get them temporarily when chat noir and ladybug need help.
THE THING IS that who chooses who gets the miraculous in the og series is marinette?, like ok shes a very good ladybug but i find it kinda nonsense that she being a 14yo teenager gets trusted by the miraculous guardian (whos like, old af) to choose who gets supernatural power????? idk but personally doesnt make sense to me, i would understand it if she had like atleast A DECADE of experience with them but she barely has any ;-;
SO MY POINT WITH THIS is that i wanted to avoid that same thing bc again, doesn't make any sense to me, so in thia AU theres no guardian! yippeee!
So how the fuck do they even get them in the first place? Easy! They found them! This universe follows the same prompt as the og one where nineteen of the miraculous were sheltered by the order of the guardians (Ppl designated to take care of them), BUT on this AU said order would eventually fall apart/perish for a reason i havent figured out yet LOL on my behalf i just made this au like, yesterday LMAO
After this happened, the miraculous they sheltered got lost, and since the Order was erradicated, there was no one that would actively search for them. SO some time later, mr prototype found an old book that told the tale about the miraculous and blablabla and the infinite power that the black cat and ladybug miraculous give to whoever lands their hands on them, and so he decided to hire investigators and archeologists to find these precious jewels he learned about. Although he didn't find the black cat and ladybug miraculous, he did find the butterfly and peacock. Then after a while, catnap and dogday found the ladybug and black cat miraculous. So going back to your question (too many words just to get here LOL), i still need to develop this au some more, but im planning to make dogday very interested in the miraculous thing, therefore while investigaating them them out of pure curiosity, and adding that the ladybug miraculous makes him luckier he would actually get to find some of them. This said, the rest of the critters could get one on two situations, 1) like dogday and catnap, they get lucky enough to find one, 2) a little like on the og story, in a very very VERY VERY VERY (emphazise on V E R Y) fucked up situation they might encounter, as the critters are good friends to dogday and catnap, they could give them one of the ones they found, but again this would be on a VERY fucked up situation
if i had to choose which one of them to give a miraculous it would prob be either crafty or kickin mainly bc they are the ones that dogday trust the most besides catnap, or in a very specific situation bubba could get one too, a Felix like situation where he steals one from the prototype but on this case it would be out of greedyness lol, very much like layla
and about which one would they get.. i was thinking on giving crafty either the fox (gives the power of Illusion) or the rabbit (Gives the power to time travel), as for kickin he would prob get the turtle (gives the power of Protection aka s h i e l d) or i would go for the safe option and give thim the rooster. As for why they would get those animals miraculouses, my main reason for choosing them would be how responsible they would be (or how i think they would be) with the power each of them gives, for example, crafty would get the rabbit one bc whoever carries it must be really careful with it as it involves time travel, and on my personal vision of crafty she would def be able to handle it
i think thats all? if u got any more questions feel free to ask yippee
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chaioticcoffee · 1 year
Text
my opinion on which Bad Batcher (+ Cody and Rex) would have which motorcycle for a modern-ish AU (It's like.. if our world was in the universe of SW but with the rules of SW if that makes sense) I'm working on and just in general to practice characterization hehe
headcanons included ofc!
sadly couldn't add Echo cause uhm... well he still has a scomp link arm 💀
Hunter:
Yamaha MT-09
or
Indian Bobber Scout 60
Not too speedy and not too slow
Great for small road trips
Not much of a racer
Safest rider out of them all
Does have a mischievous side where he wants to race or go faster on curves sometimes
Doesn't mind either rides alone or with his brothers
The responsible one
Crosshair:
Kawasaki Ninja H2
I'm fast asf boiiii
The half reckless half serious one
Like he's reckless but only when he can be safely
The H2 has a very powerful and reactive engine, making it a little difficult to control and requires some skill to do so which I think Cross would find pride in
It's all about ego bois
He loves small roads with a lot of curves
Mostly out with Tech and races with him
The bike looks aggressive and powerful, not like Cross does physically LOLOLOL
Has the most experience in riding bikes out of all of them
Goes zoom whenever he feels like it
His bros call those the "Cross zoomies"
The kill-switch and run master
Tech:
Triumph Street Triple 1200 RS
I forgot that bro is a pilot
That bike can allow him to be as experimental as he wants to
Yes he willingly races Cross
And if he lost... no he didn't
Holds the record for the most heart attacks given to Hunter in the span of 1 minute
He knows he can get himself out of tricky situations faster than the average can so he allows himself to be more reckless than the others
The one who forgets he can go ride out alone or doesn't see the point in it so he has to wait until Cross asks him to go for a ride
Loves to customize his bike, be it just appearance or performance speaking
Wrecker:
Ducati Monster 821
The only one besides Hunter who is allowed to have Omega on his passenger seat
Listens to Hunter when he tells him he shouldn't try to follow Tech or Cross (bless him)
Sometimes he gets the pass to just go wild but only when the roads are empty
Omega likes to ride with Wrecker because He's more exciting than Hunter but not as reckless as the 2 other dumbasses
Whenever they're all out on a ride, Hunter is grateful Wrecker is there
Also Wrecker is the one who manages to convince Hunter into a small race even if it's just the smallest
Rex:
YAMAHA YZF R6
Still fast as fuq bOIIII
Nah man the r6 is the perfect bike for the shenanigans Rex would do with the other bois of the 501st
He just screams r6 idk why like I looked at his pictures and instantly went "r6"
.... ok maybe it's the colour-
Cody:
Yamaha MT-07
Another MT??
Yes, MT's are notorious
Cody doesn't need much so that Yamaha is perfect
Probably switched to an MT-10 to be able to keep up with the others (Rex, Tech, Crosshair and Fives) and to be more comfortable riding in general
The supervisor(tm)
Helps Hunter keep sane
Pretty chill rider, sometimes follows the others in their shenanigans if convinced long enough
I can't add the pictures of the bikes I'm SADDDD
what do you guys think abt this tho?? I'd love feedback bc I can't tell if I'm characterising them wrong or not
and like ik most people dont care abt bikes at all or have only seen the dark side of it which.. yeah that's 100% valid 😭
also yes, as an x reader they will have you on the back 😋
or even maybe ride next to them to hold your hand 👀
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bropunzeling · 6 months
Note
Director's commentary, anything from mattdrai soulmate AU (or future snippets!)
hello anon! gosh it's been a while since ive looked at this one; here's the early section where they are in germany and going for a little walk:
Leon harries Matthew until they’re both dressed and ready to go, grabbing a spare key from the table in the hall. The weather outside, once they get there, isn’t too bad; it’s a little brisk, but nothing that either of them can’t handle compared to an Alberta spring. Matthew still looks shivery, though, hands tucked into his sweatshirt pocket and head bowed. [poor bondsick matthew! in all seriousness figuring out how to portray bondsickness was honestly really fun - just being a pathetic lil mess until someone touches you. idk if i ever said so explicitly in the fic/fully committed, but in my head/memory as of now, i think it's one of those things that is not so much caused by physical distance but by emotional distance. they haven't figured out/reconciled their feelings = you get sick. leon leaving was just a triggering event. but the beauty of never saying so explicitly is i can't get it wrong either way lmao.]
“Hey,” Leon says, bumping Matthew with his elbow until Matthew looks up. “You okay?” he asks, feeling like a broken record, but there’s not—what else is he supposed to do? [leon just actively flailing throughout the whole of the 2022 sections was also fun. he's a demonstrative guy but it's hard to be demonstrative when you don't have a clear sense of what either of you want. also, he is not yet willing to internally acknowledge how important matthew is to him, so he's just gonna... kinda suck at it.]
“Yeah,” Matthew says flatly. There’s big purple circles under his eyes. It makes Leon think again about how badly Matthew’s taking it, much worse than how Leon’s doing. Sure, he supposes he didn’t feel great for the twenty hours they were separated by an ocean, but he also didn’t look like he’d been run over by a zamboni. [bc you are not in emotional turmoil my guy]
Leon knows, at this point, that he should know better, but he’s still not sure how exactly all of this works. Bond-sickness is a thing from romance novels and weepy made-for-TV movies, not for a couple of hockey players who are regularly a continent apart. [again because it's an emotional thing, and leon isnt ready to clue into the emotional aspects of their relationship - purposefully oblivious] Leon leaving shouldn’t have done anything, he’s pretty sure. What difference would the Atlantic make, compared to North America? [bc you ~left~ him/aren't easily accessible anymore!]
Besides, in every depiction of bond-sickness he’s seen—which was mostly the one movie Kim watched on repeat when she was thirteen, some weepfest based on a Nicholas Sparks novel that Leon got so sick of he threatened to snap the DVD in half [my favorite thing about writing aus is figuring out alternate media for aus. i love a shitty reality tv concept. i love a bad romance novel. i love an ed sheeran ballad. it's the most fun part and also is such an easy way to add color and a sense of heft to your world building.]—it always happens to both sides of the bond. He’s pretty sure that if Matthew’s sick, he should be too, or else neither of them should be. [more hinting at one-sidedness] Which—that’s something he’s not sure he wants to interrogate too closely.
“Here,” Leon says finally, pulling at Matthew’s arm until he finally manages to get at Matthew’s hand. “Let me just—”
The second his fingers wrap around Matthew’s, Leon has a sensation of realignment, like one of his joints has eased back into place. Matthew starts to look more alive, color returning to his face as he sighs with relief. It’s kind of fucked up, how much touching makes things better, but it’s kind of cool, too, that this is all it takes. [one of my fave lines! (a) i think that would be the appeal of a thing like a bond to me, that you can make each other feel better and (b) i like it as an unconscious acknowledgement on leon's part that he wants matthew to feel better. he gives a shit! it isn't really platonic anymore even if he can't see that or admit it]
“This okay?” Leon asks, darting a glance at Matthew before looking down the street.
“Yeah,” Matthew says, fingers squeezing once. “I mean—if you don’t mind.”
“Whatever will help,” Leon says, more sincerely than he means to.
Leon started their walk without any destination in mind, but it isn’t far from his parents’ new house to the west bank of the Rhine. Once they get to the river, they stop, looking out at the Rodenkirchen bridge, huge and coppery green; the trees dotting the riverbank on the opposite side; the water reflecting the bridge as it flows north. There are ducklings following their parents down through the current, people walking past with dogs and strollers or only themselves. It’s peaceful to be around other people, to hear pieces of their conversation and the rush of the river and Matthew’s steps in time with his own. [i never made it to cologne but it looks really gorgeous in pictures! love a big bridge by the river. fixes me every time]
He wonders what it’s like for Matthew, somewhere unfamiliar, where not even the background noise is the same. [there's a thing about this that like, is tricky to articulate but i'll do my best lol - when they were both in alberta, they were both far from/couldn't always go home, which is a theme i find compelling (see marriage bets) but leon is obviously more separated. and during the 2022 sections of the fic, it was fun to explore matthew as the one far from home, in an unfamiliar environment, with leon as the one fixed point. idk! it's a fun theme.]
“Want to go farther?” he offers, tugging their hands towards the river. “Not too bad right now.”
Matthew nods, fingers tightening around Leon’s. “Sure,” he says. “If you want to.”
“Yeah,” Leon says. Now that he’s looking at Matthew, it’s like he’s gotten stuck, gaze snagged on Matthew’s eyes, as clear and blue as the spring sky. [ur in love with him. hope that helps.] He has to blink hard before he can look away, back to the tree-lined path and the river ahead. “Yeah, I want to.”
They spend another half an hour walking down the river and back, until it’s too cold to continue. [i just love a romantic walk!] Then they turn down into the neighborhood, wandering streets that should be more familiar to Leon than they are. [another bit of that far from home theme; what even is home in the first place if you've spent your adult life somewhere else?] Eventually they find a café and Leon gets them coffee, more to warm their hands more than anything else. Matthew stumbles through a “Danke schön” when he takes his.
“Did you practice or something?” Leon asks, raising his eyebrows.
The tips of Matthew’s ears flush, [he has been practicing for at minimum six months and at least a year. maybe started during those summer calls. he has an irrational hatred for the duolingo owl] and he takes a long sip of coffee. Leon decides not to push. It’s just—unexpected, is all.
Eventually they find their way back to the right street. Matthew’s shivering again. Leon should’ve given him one of his heavier jackets; they’re close enough to the same size. [them being the same build is important and sexy to me] He’ll remember next time.
“You good?” he asks again.
Matthew nods, takes another sip of coffee. “This is strong,” he says, narrowing his eyes.
“I’ve been telling you, your coffee is shit,” Leon says easily, accepting the misdirection. [european coffee just is better. alas.]
“Just because you’re a snob,” Matthew retorts, and they’re back to not quite normal, but closer. When Matthew nearly shoves him off the sidewalk mid-argument, it’s practically a relief. [they will always be a little bit butting heads but in a fun flirty way :)]
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acourtofthought · 7 months
Note
You seem like a fair and kind person to me, plus you do a lot for this fandom; we're lucky to have you, and you deserve the compliments! Also I wanted to add that the az-luc theory was nice to hear bc it made the whole situation b/w them less “teen drama” I feel like a lot of the times the explanations given for the tension among the 3 of them are oversimplified. And although it’s not bad thing when guys fighting over a girl, it seems out of place in this series. Idk how to explain it exactly, but yeah it just seems so random snd doesn't make sense for this situation?
Thank you again!! 😊
I agree (with the rest of your message, I wasn't saying I agree with be deserving compliments though I greatly appreciate them 😂)
I think some treat the Az / Lucien setup as if it's really not a big thing but it's so out of character for two of the good guys in the series and the animosity Az has for Lucien has been mentioned enough times that it doesn't feel like they're simply going to shake hands in the next book and walk away without further explanation. SJM has made Az's dislike of Lucien a pretty big plot-point.
It's hotly debated but I honestly don't think Az was romantically interested in Elain until Solstice of MAF. I think he was protective before that because to him she seemed to be someone in need of protecting but he was relieved not to have to get her a gift and while she was in the room with him at Solstice, he stared at Mor with heat and yearning. You just don't do that if you're interested in another female at that moment.
But he was pissy about Lucien before Solstice:
"Send Lucien then. As our human emissary." (Az said this line)
After saying it, Rhys takes note of: "I studied the tenseness in Azriel's shoulders, the shadows veiling half of him from the sunlight."
He also says: "I don't make a point of looking after his movements" and: Azriel's Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. "Where did Lucien go"
After that last line Rhys is a bit taken back Az's tone and the way he basically demands an answer.
When Rhys asks Az if he thinks Lucien can handle being around Graysen, Az adopts an expressionless face and says "Why should I be the judge of that?".
And Rhys thinks again on how Az is giving absolutely no emotion away.
This can't be about Elain, he's still lusting after Mor. He's either mad about the fact that Lucien was "worthy" of a bond (regardless of who it was with) or mad that Rhys is looking to Lucien for information where Az used to be the go to person.
And of course after Solstice Az gets fixated on how Elain gave him and gift (which he opened after blushing, lusting over Mor) but didn't give one to Lucien and suddenly Az is caught up in his thoughts of Elain and his anger towards Lucien has progressed to him really not giving shit about Lucien at all, to the point that he's annoyed to have to ask him for help in Spring, thinks he's not good enough and doesn't care that he's casually talking about killing him.
I mean....what?!?
There's deeper emotions going on when it comes to how Az feels about Lucien that I don't think has anything to do with Elain and I kind of like the idea of it echoing whatever fallout may have existed between Fionn and his best friend, maybe some sort of jealousy that drove (Pelias?) to kill him.
That whole "history repeating itself but we'll do better than our ancestors" is always a good trope in books. And I think it was the TOG series that said something along these lines but maybe I'm thinking of something else entirely, "all the original players have returned". Which adds up to there being key people thousands of years ago that made mistakes which led to bad things happening and now, all those that were once connected to the originals have come together to succeed where they failed.
I don't know, it would make this whole setup a big more grand and purposeful and would be something more exciting to sort out instead of having a fan favorite MMC go down a path where he's being a dick to Lucien all on his own for absolutely no reason that's important to the story aside from being mad that he's not getting what others are getting. Having their setup be an echo of history somewhat takes the focus off Az's childish behavior and puts the focus on the bigger story.
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mrschwartz · 1 year
Note
pls continue on slippery territory because ✨your mind✨ as you say, we don't Know him but. i'd put my money on he's self aware but can only look at it from his periphery, otherwise it is Too much. and there are bits of it in his writing, goes along with his rep for ~vagueness, which is why i'm surprised by the new record because (1/2)
(2/2) the lyrics are vague but there's something about the sound - that feeling of there being something there, a depth. a might be projecting but lmao will never forget how melancholic mirrorball made me feel. that's why i think he Knows, it's just he can only acknowledge it in this sort of way and the other guys don't have that issue
OH! also can't stop thinking about him saying he wouldn't do this on his own, lmao. goes hand in hand with the whole drawn to solitude but needing other people thing, but obviously everyone else has got Lives, alexander!!!
oh man, i'm right with you on that, the whole album is deeply sad. like, i'm doing what he told me to do! i'm listening to the music and not just the lyrics, and they're telling me that the person who composed it has been going through some shit lol. he also emphasizes that there's a sense of humor to a lot of it, which i understand i guess, but. um. idk. it's either 1) he's not very good at translating jokey tones into melodies and harmonies (which i refuse, he's too good at capturing and conveying emotion and cares too much about music to not understand tone) or 2) he's got a very warped sense of humor/is not as self-aware as i thought (like i said) lol. like one of those friends everyone has that light-heartedly shares something that sounds deeply traumatic and has you like. "but are you like. okay though" or 3) he knows it's mostly sad but is playing it off bc fuck interviews, fuck people actually knowing what he wants to mean, etc etc.
anyway. fuck him, he set out to make me feel things with the sound of his music and the bastard fucking accomplished it lol.
but to your second point. like, it feels shitty to think this of him and that's why i didn't wanna say "resentment" bc it's obviously not it, there's too much unconditional love and understanding between them, but i can't help but feel that if it was up to him, to some extent, none of them would be off raising families, they'd just hang out together all the time and just talk and have fun and play music
he's introverted and craves isolation, yes, but he's also needy and fucking needs the band's support so much, he kinda gets a little lost when he doesn't have it for a long period of time. he could write a solo album and play all of the instruments but it's not just that he values their input and it's more fun when they're around. he needs them to not have all of the spotlight on him. and when most of the spotlight is on him, which let's be honest here we're all adults lol, it's 99% of the time, he has this safe haven with them to feel like he's sharing the experience, to joke about the whole thing, to have someone to vent to, etc. this next bit is extremely shitty, i know i knowwwwwwwww, but: like, alex turner's support group you know. like (let me try to redeem myself here), they're all each other's support group, for sure, but i feel like he needs it the most
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viksalos · 8 months
Text
ok anyway i’m gonna draft this cus this might just be me getting mad about a thing that is very specific to me idk
basically i saw a post (and it really doesn’t matter who wrote it cus it’s more than a year old now and it didn’t even break 300 notes) which was making fun of people for claiming to have religious trauma when OP assumed they hadn’t been to X amount of catholic services. this by itself is a bit silly bc catholics gatekeeping religious trauma as being exclusive to them is obviously myopic, but one of the tags was like “you don’t have religious trauma you have ptsd from familial abuse that used religion against you” and im like. i fail to see how that’s not religious trauma?
like i’ve said before on this blog, my religious education was primarily reform jewish via my mom with smatterings of various christian denominations mostly via my dad; you could not measure any amount of “christian religious trauma” i have by continuous service attendance but like yeah my experience of christianity is still primarily one of punishment, alienation, antisemitism, supersessionism. and like sure, my dad is a dipshit who never stuck with anything for very long including going to any one church, so no that trauma does not include X hours of christian education or whatever. but boy oh boy did he still like weaponizing our “christian heritage” when i exhibited any proximity to judaism!
and i also feel like *part of* my difficulty with christianity is specifically not knowing what the fuck christians are talking about when they talk about concepts that are seemingly basic to them and having to piece it together after the fact from the random smattering of things i *do* know. and these concepts are just woven in the fabric of US society; everyone seems to understand them instinctively but me! or like i’ll be talking with my (ex-)christian friends about our various bad run-ins with christianity and then it’ll be my turn to talk and they’ll look at me like i have three heads because they can’t conceive of religious trauma that’s specifically centered around christian antisemitism. or i’ll be talking with my jewish friends and because *they* had a more rigorous or conservative jewish education, i won’t fit in with them either--and this too can be partially due to religious trauma on their part!
i guess the other thing too is, this post was kind of in keeping with a different post i saw about protestants appropriating catholic iconography when trying to make art about *their* religious trauma. and on the one hand it’s funny to me that we’re supposed to care about the trappings of a colonial institution being appropriated, on the other hand it’s funny as an outside observer cus i do think the iconography they listed as examples are more alike between catholicism and protestantism than they are different. like i remember some of the examples were stained glass and gothic churches (protestants also have those; i live in a city with many protestant gothic churches) and multi-eyed and winged angels (those are described in the tanakh; they are not exclusive to either of you).
and like maybe it’s corny but i do think they have become kind of signaling things for people with religious trauma to find each other and talk about their experiences. are these particular symbols necessarily 100% authentic to everyone’s experience? probably not, but 1.) they make cool art, and 2.) the looming and foreboding nature of some of these symbols (i’m thinking of the exteriors of gothic churches especially) can be evocative of the sense of alienation one feels when you’ve definitively decided you no longer want anything to do with the church, but it’s still ever present. imo these types are mad because they want exclusive use of the cool art symbolism more than they want to facilitate community. if you wanted to say that art symbolism is not a solid basis for a community, THAT would be an argument i’d respect, but that’s not what y’all said.
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mageofminge · 1 year
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weezer's gay allegations: a rant
i was browsing through the weezer subreddit the other day and noticed the 'is brian gay?' post got deleted. from what i get most of these silly posts would get kept so idk why this one specifically got deleted. im not sure ab how much brian interacts with his fans (given his vibe id think itd be almost him looking him and his bandmates up to see what ppl are saying ab him, esp since i heard people had been told to delete posts that had memes ab him being a nonce (which is honestly fair enough bc that could be on the border of spreading misinformation/slander) but idrk). either way, it seems like either brian, someone close to brian, or someone high up on the official weezer fanclub/'fandom' really does not like the gay allegations surrounding him.
if that is the case tho, i am kinda torn on how to approach this.
on one hand, as a weezer fan with a queer identity, even though i know that all of the members are probably cishet, it is still fun to joke about these things. or even just speculation, though logically i know it is likely to be false, its still comforting for me to already see this male figure i look up to, and then to further serve as inspiration to myself, somewhat project my queerness onto him. furthermore, to me at least, his actual sexuality (ignoring my projecting) does not play a role in how i perceive him. to me all of these gay allegations are just harmless jokes, i don't really take them seriously, especially since that's his private life and stuff.
on the other hand though, regardless of what his sexuality actually is, those allegations could have quite dodgy implications, considering there are people in the world, and heck even in a fanbase as queer and nd as weezer, who aren't very accepting of queerness. the way I see it is, if the gay allegations spiral out of control there are two possible outcomes:
brian is not gay, or queer in any way. regardless, he continues to be harassed about his sexuality by people who don't believe him. he will never beat the gay allegations. people will always be constantly doubting him regarding his identity, and i can imagine that would cause a lot of stress. or it could be...
brian is gay (or at least some variant of queer) and is outed against his will.
neither of these options are particularly pleasant. the key thing tho is those outcomes rest on the condition that the gay allegations do get out of control. firstly i just want everyone to kind of realise that public figures, just like everybody else are entitled to privacy, especially regarding their sexuality. secondly, while i think that simply making gay allegation jokes isn't necessarily inherently harmful, esp in the context of queer people looking up to public figures, we should still all be well aware that it is just a joke and nothing more. it would also be nice if some of the other members who are the target of these allegations had a sense of humour and played along with the jokes. i mean, this is something rivers already kinda does with his zesty bit, and i fucking love it - i think its hilarious and i also appreciate how hes able to interact with fans and also 'make fun' of himself without being too self-conscious. and it would be rlly cool if we could have a similar level of fan interaction (within appropriate boundaries) from other members too.
anyways idk if that made a lick of sense but yeah, what are y'alls thoughts on this.
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