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#eight years behind on the trend
industrations · 7 months
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Save a horse ride a cowboy
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lina-lovebug · 1 year
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I Will Protect You
Adam Warlock x fem! Reader
Reader is Gamora and Nebula younger sister. Seems to be a trend with Thanos' daughters to fall for goofy men.
Warnings: ptsd, torture, cursing
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Adam did not know love.
He knows his mother loved him. That even though his sole purpose was to kill and work for the Sovereign, he could feel his mother's love for him.
But being in love?
He never thought about it. It was never a priority, especially as a killer who would have no business being intrigued by anything else other than what he was ordered.
"You are an idiot."
"What?"
"But I must say I admire your technique. Staring is also how I got my wife to notice me. Although I did it for hours on end until she noticed."
Drax told Adam, who was staring longingly at (Y/N), the sister to Gamora and Nebula and their resident healer. Adam watched as a pink light emitted from her palms, healing a small injury on one of the children's knees.
"She's very pretty," Adam breathed out. Yes, he had seen specimens that were 'perfect', but you were something entirely different. Your laughter was genuine and kind, and your smile held no ill intentions behind it.
"Drax, I feel sick when I am around her. Like my stomach gets all fuzzy and weird, and-and I can't think straight. Did she poison me?" Adam asked, wondering truly if you despised him secretly.
After all, your first encounter was not a good one.
Adam recalled being beneath you as you held a blade to his throat, pressing it hard enough to draw blood and the rage in your eyes was something to remember.
He now held a small scar on his neck.
"Silly golden man," Drax patted his shoulder, "you love her."
"Love? Are you sure?" He glanced back to where you were but you disappeared.
"What should I do?"
Oh if only he should have known that Drax was the worst person to ask for advice.
_
"I'm sorry."
I turned around to see Gamora. Her arms were crossed, she was guarding herself, as she looked at me with sad eyes.
"You have nothing to-"
"You had someone who was openly loving and caring, and that's not me," I swallowed a lump in my throat. Gamora changed once she realized that Nebula and I just needed a sister, not a combat partner. I saw her make that effort, and she learned my love languages and learned who I was as a person.
When she died, I felt a part of myself die with her.
And when this new Gamora, or old Gamora, had shown up, I wanted that back. But she was just as cruel and as mean as when we first fought and she beat me.
"Wow, you don't think I know that?" I retorted, avoiding eye contact as I continued to polish my knives.
"From our first fight when Thanos pit us against each other, I knew you were only looking out for the best. That you needed to be the golden girl in order to survive, but did you know what he did?" I asked, finally looking at her.
"Yeah, Nebula-"
"No, not to Nebula," I interrupted, standing up.
"When I was eight and kept losing, he didn't just lock me in my room. He had Ebony Maw do things to me. . .he started slow by making incisions in my back to see how much I could scream, and then did this," I lifted up my shirt and her eyes widened.
"He started putting viles inside of me that he found on other planet's to see how my body would react to them. That's how I got my power to heal," I explained, "but every experiment, every needle - it left behind this."
My stomach and back held my memories. It was littered in scars that would never go away and ruined me.
"I-I didn't-"
"No one knew. Not even Nebula until a few years ago," I admitted.
"I get why you fought so hard but. . .I don't think I can forgive you."
Gamora looked like she had just seen what hell was like. A light mist formed over her eyes, realizing that whenever she won, someone else had paid the price.
"I know you'll never be her," I admitted, "but you could at least try to act like we were sisters."
"You are," She grasped my hands tightly in her own, "you've always been. I'm sorry I never saw it until now."
I removed myself from her, "I know you mean it, but I'm going to need you to go."
She hesitated but nodded, "ok."
Gamora shut the door behind her and wanted to scream. All of the "What ifs" plagued her mind, wondering what would have happened if only she had noticed sooner. But before any tears could escape, she heard a shuffle and spotted the golden boy lurking.
He looked just like she did.
Shocked and furious.
"If you do anything to hurt her, I will slit your throat in your sleep," Gamora told him before walking off, leaving him stunned.
The mere thought of someone making you cry made Adam furious beyond belief, but torturing you? Seeing how loud you could scream - how much pain you could take?
He didn't know understand love but that was not it.
Adam was initially going to go to your room and try to 'woo' you, as Drax said to do. But now, all he felt was rage. He knew Thanos was dead, along with everyone who worked for him, so he didn't know where to put this anger.
"(Y/N)?"
"Adam, now is not a good ti-" as I turned around to face him, all I saw was anger. Red flashed across his face, just like the first time we fought.
"Adam? Are you okay?" I questioned.
"I-I feel angry, and I don't know what to do. I want to kill him," Adam ranted.
"Kill him? Who?"
"Thanos."
The name still left a mark on my mind and it made me want to vomit.
"He-he's dead, Adam," I said.
"I know. But he needs to pay for what he's done to you. It isn't fair. No one so kind, so generous and loving should ever experience that," He ranted, unknowingly confirming that Adam knew exactly what Thanos did to you.
"You heard. . ." This was my fear. I finally found someone who makes me smile and makes my heart race whenever we're together, and he knows.
He knows I'm fucked up. He knows I have ugly scars that'll never disappear. He knows I have a dark childhood. He knows I'm-
He shook me from my mind by placing his hands on my shoulders, "I want to protect you. From now on, no one will ever lay a hand on you again. I'll do whatever it takes, (Y/N), I promise."
"Why?"
"Drax says it's because I love you. I only knew my mother's love but I know that when I see you, I want to make you smile. I want you to be happy and always laughing and never upset."
Love? Shit, I didn't know the first thing about it. I always thought that the torture and the lectures were love because a father always wants you to do your best. But after the guardians, I felt lost. This friendship and trust, it was love, but how could I ever replicate that?
"Adam, are you. . .sure?"
He was caught off guard, "yes, I am. Do you not love me?"
"I do, but I don't know how to express that. You deserve someone who does," I told him.
"What do you do with someone you love?" He questioned.
"You hug them, you show that you're there for them no matter what, you learn what they like, you show it in physical ways. You kiss-"
"Then kiss me," His boldness made my whole body still and I felt like face become hot.
"What?"
"If you love me, then kiss me," He stated, still as blunt as ever. My heart was running a mile, and my mind was screaming at me to stop.
But I couldn't.
I lifted my face to his and kissed him. I expected it to be a small peck, but my body wanted more. I yearned for his gentle touch and placed his hands on my waist as he gently kissed back, still unsure about his movements. His lips were soft against mine, following what I did. As I pulled away for air, he pulled me back in. It made me gasp as his hands held me firmly, his lips desperate for mine. I felt breathless as he held me closer, and my hands began to venture into his hair.
"Seriously?!"
Peter's voice made me pull back, frightened that he had seen.
"Everyone but me!" He shouted as he walked away, and I was still firm against Adam's chest.
"I thought kissing was a private affair," Adam said, confused.
"Y-yeah, it is, but my door is open. Adam, you're sure you want this? With me?" I asked, still frazzled at the kiss.
"I only want you, and we can learn how to love each together, right?" He said, so innocent but so willing.
"Yes, we can," I smiled.
"I heard of this thing called cuddling and it sounds nice. Can we do that too?"
I gave him a soft kiss, "for however long you want."
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sopebubbles · 11 months
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Master List
Eight
Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.
Chapter summary: Jin's form of leadership comes to bite him in the ass, and everyone will have something to say about it. Will they still follow him?
WC: 8k
Warnings: ANGST, fighting/yelling, swearing
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Jimin's head snapped to attention when a knock at the door pulled him out of concentration. His coworker Nina poked her head inside.
"Jimin, there's a girl here to see you."
"I told Sana we would meet after lunch. I'm still trying to catch up on some paperwork from last week." Jimin looked bewilderedly at the stacks of papers cluttering his desk.
Nina shook her head. "It's not Sana. It's some girl named Y/N. Never seen her before. But I'll tell her to come back another time."
Jimin shot out of his chair the instant he heard your name. "No. Don't! I'll see her."
Nina paused as he opened the door to follow her. "I thought you were busy."
Jimin blushed and smiled. "This is important."
Nina gave him a playfully suspicious look before walking back to her desk. Jimin followed her and felt the tightness in his chest release when he saw you sitting in a chair, swinging your feet while you waited. Yoongi was right; you did seem like a little girl, especially the way you curled in on yourself.
"Y/N?" His voice was so quiet he wasn't sure you would hear him, but your head turned in his direction.
He'd been so thrilled by the news that you'd come that he hadn't stopped to think about why until he saw your wide eyes look at him from gaunt features. The last time he'd seen you, you were well fed, energetic, almost glowing. That might have just been the tail-end of the heat hormones, but you almost looked like a different person now. Your skin was ashen, with dark bags under your eyes. It was only a week since he saw you, but it looked like years on your face.
"Y/N," he repeated.
"Surprised to see me?" You asked as you got to your feet and approached the counter once again.
"Yes," he nodded. "But it's a good surprise." He wanted to launch into a million questions, but he hesitated. The last time he tried to really talk to you had backfired. He followed your gaze to Nina, who quickly looked away when she realized she was staring. "Come to my office so we can talk."
"I'm glad you came," he said as he closed the door behind you and gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. "Where have you been staying?"
You looked at your hands in your lap, but didn't answer. "How is Hoseok?"
Jimin tried to smile for you, but it was weak. "Hobi is fine. He's wondering where you've been. He was hoping you would stay. We all were."
"I don't think everyone was," you mumbled. 
"What?"
"I know Seokjin was just trying to be polite. I would have just been in the way. It's better for everyone if you just pretend you never met me."
Jimin's heart sank. For a moment he had believed you came to him so he could take you home, but you wouldn't make things that easy. "So why did you come here?"
"You said you could help me find a job." He froze momentarily before sitting on his own chair. Was that really the only reason you had come? "I've been looking online for the last week and I just…" you looked up at him and he met your gaze expectantly. "I haven't had a lot of luck the last couple of years trying to pretend I'm Sap, but it's really hard to get a job I can manage when they know I'm omega. So, you said you knew people who would hire me…"
Jimin nodded knowingly. Unemployment was generally considered an alpha problem because many, if not most, omegas chose to stay at home, but that trend had been changing. Omegas faced a lot of stereotypes about not being able to handle physical work (which wasn't true) and for their frequent heat cycles, making employers view them as unreliable. On top of that, you were far from the only omega to not finish high school since the onset of heats made attendance difficult at best. While Jimin was all for omega empowerment, he couldn't help wishing you'd choose to just stay at home with Hoseok. But he was getting ahead of himself. Jimin clicked around on his screen for a moment before his printer began to whir.
"I have a list of businesses that hire omegas, and who give priority to people in your situation." Jimin grabbed the sheet of paper off the printer, but hesitated before handing it to you. "Would you reconsider coming back to the house?"
You sighed and shook your head. "I can't, Jimin."
"You really can. I know that maybe Jin didn't seem so keen, but Hoseok is worried. Yoongi–" he stopped himself from admitting that his alpha was a wreck, but he didn't think he imagined the glint in your eyes as the mention of his name. "He really wanted you to stay. So do I. We want you to be safe."
"It's nice of you to worry," you said, reaching for the paper. Jimin reluctantly handed over, feeling defeated. "I can take care of myself, though. I promise, I'll be fine."
When you stood up to leave, Jimin had the sinking feeling that you really wouldn't be, but there was little he could do about it. He couldn't lock you in this office until you agreed to come home with him. He sighed in resignation. "You can tell anyone on that list that I sent you and put me as a reference," he told you, picking up one of his business cards and scribbling his personal phone number on the back before he handed it to you. "And if you change your mind, you know where to find us. Our door is always open to you, Y/N."
"Thanks, Jimin," you smiled sadly. 
He wanted to do something crazy, like ask you for a hug and maybe try to give you a proper scent mark so that you'd walk out of there with a bit of him, a bit of them. But he could only watch you go.
Yoongi drummed his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel as he drove to pick up Jimin from work. Normally the beta went to and from work with Namjoon or Jin, depending on their schedules, but today the pack alpha had sent a mysterious address to the group chat and told them to meet there after work. The location happened to be in the opposite direction of home from Namjoon's school, so Yoongi offered to pick Jimin up. He was more than happy to do it. He'd been feeling edgy all day with the house feeling so empty, everyone gone to work and even Hoseok mysteriously missing from the house in the afternoon, taking Taehyung with him. Your absence rang from every corner of the quiet house, mocking him.
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When he pulled up outside the shelter, Jimin was chatting casually with some alpha teens in front of the building. He flashed Yoongi a crooked smile, and not the endearing kind, but the troubled kind; the kind that let the alpha know immediately that something was off with his younger mate. He cut the engine and stepped out of the car.
"Hey, Yoongi!" One of the young men on the sidewalk called as he stepped up on the curb and held out an arm for a greeting. Yoongi clasped his hand and bumped his shoulder. "Where you been? Missed you on the court."
Yoongi grimaced. Playing with the kids was one of his favorite things to do with his free days. Jimin liked to act like it was some sort of mentoring program; and maybe it was, but it was very informal. Just a few hours playing around and maybe every now and then Yoongi managed a conversation with one of them and was able to give them some advice, but it wasn't a big deal. Nonetheless, Jimin knew it meant a lot to the young alphas to have Yoongi spend some time with them and treat them like people, something that was frequently absent from their daily interactions, as you well knew. He also knew Yoongi enjoyed it beyond the game.
"Sorry, man. I promise I'll come by later this week," Yoongi told him and meant it. He turned his eyes to Jimin. "Everything okay?"
The beta nodded. "C'mon, let's go."
Yoongi opened the car door for Jimin, then nodded to the guys still standing around before he walked around to the driver's side. He started the engine and pulled into traffic before either of them spoke another word. Silent minutes stretched before them, but Yoongi couldn't take it.
"Are you afraid to kiss me in front of your clients?" Yoongi asked, half joking, although he'd usually get at least a kiss on the cheek from Jimin when he first saw him, even if it was on those afternoons he showed up at the shelter.
"Of course not, hyung," Jimin answered lightly but didn't look in his direction. 
Yoongi reached out his hand to take Jimin's. "Then can you tell me what's wrong?" He asked with a kiss to the back of his hand. 
Jimin's fingers tightened around him and he cleared his throat. "I saw her."
Yoongi came to an abrupt stop a couple meters short of where he meant to at the red light. 
"Y/N?"
Jimin nodded. "She came to see me at the shelter."
Yoongi turned his head to look out the rear window. "Is she–? Did she–? Is she staying there?" He finally managed to ask, when he really wanted to ask why you weren't in the car with him right now going back home.
Jimin swallowed. "She's too old, hyung," he reminded his alpha and watched him sink back into his seat. "Besides, she said she wouldn't come back with me. She thinks…she thinks it's for the best, and that we were just being polite."
Yoongi leaned his head back against the rest and a thousand protests died on his lips. Jimin didn't need to hear them. "Do you know where she's staying?"
A car honked as they sat in front of a green light and Yoongi slowly pressed on the accelerator. "She wouldn't say, but that makes me think it's the same shelter as before."
"Shit," Yoongi muttered.
"I'm sorry, hyung. I should have found a way to make her stay. I should've called you. I just…it all happened so fast."
Yoongi spared him a quick glance. "Jimin, did you think I'd be mad at you?"
Jimin squirmed. "Not mad…"
Yoongi laid his hand on Jimin's smaller one again. "Jimin, of course I'm not upset with you. I know you couldn't hold her there. If she wasn't willing to come, that would only scare her, and the last thing we need is for her to be scared of the least intimidating member of our pack."
"I'm going to try not to be insulted by that, hyung."
Yoongi smiled in spite of himself. "Damn. Okay. I mean, it sucks. You know I want to find her. But this is good. We know more than we did. At least she knows where to find you if she's in trouble but—oh! Is she in trouble? Why did she come to you?"
"She's not in trouble as far as I can tell. She just remembered that I said I could help her find a job, so she came to see me. It seemed like maybe she was ready to stop pretending to not be Lykos." Jimin almost sounded proud.
"And?"
"I don't know. All I could really do was give her a list of places I knew are usually hiring and tell her she could use me as a reference."
Yoongi nodded thoughtfully. "That's good. If anyone calls you trying to hire her we might be able to find her," he said, mostly mumbling to himself. 
"Hyung?"
Yoongi pulled to a stop in front of a large, yellow house. Jungkook and Namjoon pulled up right behind him in the police cruiser. They all stepped out at the same time, sharing a glance before turning their curious and confused eyes toward the property. Yoongi noticed the realtors sign in front with the bold red "SOLD" sign. His stomach flipped. 
"What the hell?" He muttered in a low growl before he made for stairs up to the porch, trodding carelessly over the green lawn. Stomping up the steps, he knocked loudly on the front door.
Hoseok answered the door with a beaming, heart-shaped smile. "Welcome home!"
Jimin watched Yoongi's jaw clench, and he was certain that if it had been anyone but Hobi who answered the door, Yoongi would already be on a tirade. Jimin reached out to grab his elbow, silently telling him to stay calm but also reminding the alpha that he was there as they stepped over the threshold of the house.
"What is this, Hobi?" Yoongi barely restrained his growl, but his discontent was clear. He moved further through the entryway into what would be the living room only to let the others inside. 
"This is our new home," Jin said, standing at the counter where the open concept living room and kitchen blended. Yoongi opened his mouth to speak, but Jin cut him off. "Before you start, let me show you around first. There's so much more room. There's a detached garage where Taehyung can do his painting. There are also three bedrooms upstairs. The master bedroom is absolutely massive. Wait till you see. And plenty of room for the kids," Jin rambled on, setting one foot on the first stair, ready for them all to follow him up.
"Jin," Yoongi said the syllable firmly without raising his voice.
The older man froze and looked down at him in frustration. "Can you at least look around before you get upset."
"So you understand that I'm upset?" Yoongi asked calmly. 
"You're always upset about something," Jin mumbled in response.
"That's not true, Jin. And that isn't the point."
"Then what is the point, Yoongi?"
"Did you buy this house?" He asked through his tight jaw.
Yoongi's citrus went bitter, stinging their noses, and Jin swallowed but stood firm. "Yes. Hobi and I came to look at the house yesterday and made an offer. The seller was highly motivated and we signed the papers a few hours ago."
"You and Hobi? And who else was involved in this decision?" Yoongi demanded, casting his gaze momentarily at the omega. 
"No one. Hobi liked the house, and I bought it."
"Oh, Hobi liked it, so that's all that matters," Yoongi threw his hands up and walked toward the back door.
"Yoongi, it's really a great house. Just take a look," Hoseok tried to persuade him.
"I don't care about the house!" Yoongi snapped.
"Don't yell at me!" Hoseok snapped back, stepping closer, but Jin came off the staircase to get between them.
"How could you two do this?"
"I know you hate change, Yoongi, but–"
"This isn't about not wanting to change!"
"Then what is it about, Yoongi?" Jin tried hard to keep his calm. 
"It's about you deciding we're all going to move suddenly, like we're just pieces of furniture in your house."
"Yoongi, Jin and I have been looking for a house for months," Hoseok reminded him. 
"I know. But I always assumed when you got serious about buying one you would consult us. How can you just make a huge decision like this for all of us?" Hoseok balked at the betrayal in Yoongi's eyes. 
Jin's chest puffed out before he spoke. "We made the decision we thought was best for everyone."
Yoongi shook his head. "Your un-fucking-believable, Seokjin." Jin let out an exasperated sigh. "What gives you the right to treat us like this?"
Jin growled low. "I'm your pack alpha. It's my right to make the decisions I think are best for this pack. You're just upset because you wish you were pack alpha over me."
Yoongi stared him straight in the eyes as he spoke. "I don't, Jin. I don't want to be your pack alpha. I just want to be treated with a little respect." He took a step closer to where he had to look up to keep eye contact. "But if I were the leader of this pack, I'd do a hell of a lot better job than you've been doing lately."
"Yoongi," Namjoon finally stepped in, his voice a warning that Yoongi did not want to heed.
"You think this is easy?" Jin snarled back. 
"It's not meant to be easy! But you see it as a set of privileges when it's meant to be a set of responsibilities!" 
"I am trying to be responsible! I'm trying to build a proper home for our children!"
"Damn it! That's the problem! For your children. Because you're so ego-maniacally focused on these kids you don't even have yet that you don't give a shit about what you're doing to the pack you have right now!"
"That's not true, Yoongi," Hoseok jumped in.
Yoongi held up his hand. "Don't defend him, Hoseok. For the last year you've been catering to him instead of facing the fact that he's changed."
"I've-"
"You used to be so caring about all of us. You had such a big heart when I met you. You were so open and that's why I fell for you. You made me feel so safe. You brought Jimin into your home without a second thought. But now I don't even recognize you. You don't care, do you?"
"That's not fair, Y–"
"You don't care that Tae will have to walk outside at night to get to his studio when his nightmares keep him up? Or that this house is so far from Jungkook's station? Or that you're taking me and Jimin out of the most stable home we've ever known without even asking us? Or-"
"Yoongi," Hoseok gasped, chagrined at the alphas slipped admission. 
"No. Fuck this. I'm leaving." Yoongi hung his head in defeat and shouldered past Namjoon to get to the front door.
"Hyung, wait!" Jimin called, going after him.
"Jimin–"
"Give me your keys. You're not driving angry like this," the beta reasoned. Yoongi gave them up without a fight and stormed out of the house. The door shut with a thud of finality. 
Jin swallowed in the silence that followed before he spoke. "Let's go see the rest of the house." He turned toward the stairs, and Namjoon made to follow.
"Kim Seokjin." He froze at the frigid tone of Hobi's voice.
"He's just pouting, Hobi. He'll get over it," Jin said over his shoulder.
"Jin," he said more loudly this time. "He is our packmate. And he is just asking us to listen to him. Now you're going to take me home and listen."
When Jin and Hobi arrived at the house the first floor was dark except for the sliver of light underneath the closed door to the spare room, but they could hear Yoongi's angry footsteps upstairs. Hoseok rushed up the stairs ahead of his mate to find Yoongi rummaging through drawers, pulling out shirts he thought were his. It had become difficult to tell the difference between yours, mine and ours. Five years together had made their lives enmeshed in the most intimate and simple ways.
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"What are you doing?" Hoseok asked softly from the door.
"Making it easier for you all to move without me," Yoongi mumbled as he closed one drawer and opened another.
Hoseok's voice trembled as his hands did. "What do you mean?"
"If it's easy to make the decision to move without even asking then it doesn't matter if I go with you, right? So I'm taking my stuff, and you can take the rest."
"Yoongi, that's not true," his omega said, stepping closer to try to stop his hands.
"Hoseok, back off."
He let out a small whimper. "We made a mistake. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, but I know I was wrong, okay? Please, let's sit down and talk about it calmly."
Yoongi held still, trying his best to resist acting out. He wouldn't get violent. He wouldn't get physical no matter how much he felt like exploding. Not to Hobi. "I don't feel calm right now. I need you to give me some space and let me do this."
"No!" He whined. "Don't do this! Don't leave us, please?"
"Who's leaving who, Hobi?!"
"It's not like that, Yoongi, honestly."
"Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?" Jin said from the door.
A growl started in Yoongi's chest when his eyes fell on the alpha.
"It's just a house, Yoongi," he added. 
"Maybe to you. Maybe to you it's just a place to live."
"What else is it then Yoongi?" Hoseok asked, desperate to understand what was going on in his head.
Yoongi sighed and hung his head back to stare at the ceiling. "You guys are so privileged. You don't get it. You grew up in homes that were yours, where you were born and where you belonged. Then you came here to live in your own home. You take it for granted that wherever you go to live will be your home. You don't know what I know. What Jimin and Y/N and even Tae knows! Do you get that this is the only place I've ever felt I belonged? That until I came to live here and you accepted me, that I was only ever a guest wherever I was? Do you know what living with that kind of insecurity is like? This is the only place I've ever felt safe and you've just taken that from me."
"It will be the same at the new house, Yoongi," Hoseok spoke softly. "It will be your home."
"How can I know that? When it feels like you don't want me there because if you did you would have asked about my feelings before making such a huge decision? I feel so unsafe with you both right now. So if it seems like I'm acting childish, maybe I am, but I feel so out of control right now. And if that's how I feel, how do you think she will–" Yoongi's voice died.
"Y/N?" Hoseok asked after a heavy silence.
"She's gone, Yoongi," Jin reminded him and received a black, watery glare in return.
"She's not. Jimin saw her today. She's not ready to live with us but she went to Jimin for help, so she might. Only if she comes here, we'll be gone. And what would she think except that your offer to stay meant nothing and that there is no place that's safe. You're pack alpha. You're supposed to make us safe."
Jin watched Yoongi as he ranted and felt his anger soften. The man was right, he hadn't considered those things at all. If he was being honest he hadn't cared if Yoongi or the others disagreed with their choice of home, but he hadn't even considered that they might have such a strong reaction. The new house was a better one, and he thought that would be all that mattered. When he finally responded, he spoke as softly as he could. "Yoongi, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Honestly, I didn't know that it would matter that much, and I'm sorry. But you're safe and you belong in our new home just as much as you do here."
Yoongi scoffed. "A year ago I might have believed you."
"What do you mean?" Jin questioned and didn't miss the way Hoseok's back stiffened. 
"You've been pushing us all out ever since you started trying to get Hobi pregnant," Yoongi accused.
"Not this again."
"Yes, this again! Every time Hobi goes into heat you treat the rest of us like we're less important than you. Like you're the main character and we're all just the supporting cast."
"Because he's my husband! He's my omega! This is my pack! If you hate it that much then go find Y/N and start your own! See if I care!"
"Jin!" Hoseok cried as if in pain.
"Fine! I will!"
"Yoongi, no! Both of you stop it. Don't say shit you don't mean. No one is leaving. Fuck!" Hoseok stepped close to Yoongi and cradled the alpha's face in his hands. "Please, baby. Don't leave me. I swear. We can work this out. Calm down, please." A tear dropped down Yoongi's cheek, and Hoseok wiped it away with his thumb. Yoongi wrapped his hands gently around his wrists and pulled his hands away.
"I'm sorry, Hobi. I just…" his eyes flickered to Jin. "I just need some space right now."
He took the bag he had been filling with random t-shirts that may or may not have been his and walked past Hoseok, past Jin and down the stairs. He didn't know how much they heard, but Namjoon, Tae and Jungkook all stared at him as he moved quickly through the living room toward the spare room, which Jimin had been readying for both of them to sleep in.
The others slowly made their way upstairs to see their pack alpha and omega. It wasn't particularly that they wanted to comfort Jin and Hobi, but they all knew there was nothing they could do for Yoongi at the moment, and none of them had gotten the chance to say their piece yet. They found Hoseok sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window that looked out onto the street, while Jin remained by the door, both speechless and not acknowledging the other.
"Are you here to leave us, too?" Jin asked bitterly.
"Hyung, don't get angry with us. Especially when you're the one who caused this," Jungkook spoke softly. Despite being the youngest, he had known Jin longer than anyone, except Hoseok, and he wasn't afraid to tell him the truth.
"I'm the bad guy for wanting to give my family a better home?"
"No, hyung," Namjoon answered as he sat on the corner of the mattress, facing his alpha. "But at any point did you even think to ask us what any of us thought would make a better home for all of us?"
"We've been looking for a long time and none of you have ever said anything," Jin defended.
"You and Hobi have been looking," Taehyung corrected. "You show him things you're looking at. Maybe we should've spoken up before, but we didn't know how. Honestly I've been kind of terrified of what's going to happen and then…this was kind of sudden."
Hoseok turned to see his youngest alpha with a tear-streaked face. "What are you afraid of Tae?"
He sank down onto the bed beside his omega, facing him and letting the contact of their legs sooth his fraying nerves just a bit. "I guess…I don't really know what's going to happen when you eventually have Jin's baby. I'm not sure what it's going to mean for the rest of us."
"What do you mean? It will be everyone's baby. It will only add to our pack," Jin told them, a little shocked by Taehyung's implication.
"Then why does it matter so much if the baby is yours? Why can't it be any of ours? Mine or Namjoon's or Jimin's? If nothing will change between all of us, then why has so much changed already?" Tae wondered in a shaky voice.
"We're still a pack. Nothing has changed. We'll still be a pack," Jin tried to assure him.
"With all due respect, Jin, only you, Hobi and Jungkook know what it's like to have a pack this big." Namjoon shrugged. "The rest of us don't know what happens to other partners when a couple has a baby. We've just been following your lead, and it seems like…I don't know. We get pushed to the edge?"
Hoseok choked down a whine. He didn't know why, but he'd known his husband was struggling for months with his feelings about having a child. When he couldn't get Jin to talk about it, he decided just to support him in any way he could. That had mostly meant going along with his ideas and boosting his confidence. He hadn't realized how much he had been neglecting his other pack members. Suddenly it made so much more sense that Jungkook, Yoongi and Taehyung had been spending so many nights outside his nest when he realized they didn't feel as welcome there. 
Hoseok reached out to grip the back of Tae's neck and meet his eyes. "Tae, baby, your home will always be with us. And I'm so so sorry for not making that clear enough, and for not discussing it with you before we made such a big decision." 
Tae smiled weakly and wrapped his arms around the omegas middle to bring him closer. It was far from making everything better, but he still appreciated being told explicitly that he was still wanted. "Things might change when you have Jin's baby," he said, not able to keep the worry from his voice even though he kept it quiet.
"Why is everyone so obsessed with the fact that it will be my baby?" Jin grumbled. 
"Why are you so obsessed, hyung? You said the baby will be all of ours, so why does it have to be you?" Jungkook reiterated the question they could never get a straight answer for. 
"I have a family line to uphold. I know you all don't understand that, but it's important!" Jin cried out, finally cracking under the crushing weight of that pressure. 
"Is it more important than not alienating your pack? Is your family–which already has a whole group of kids to carry on its name–is it more important than the one we've spent a decade building?" Hoseok asked, looking at Jin for the first time since Yoongi had left the room.
"No. Of course not," Jin sighed. 
"Since when was it ever important to you anyway?"
"Well, you are my husband. Shouldn't your first child be mine?"
"You didn't answer the question, Jin," Hoseok said sternly, crossing his arms.
"Fine! It's never been important to me. But it is important to them! And I thought maybe if I could prove to my mother that I'm a proper pack alpha then for once she wouldn't look at me like a huge failure!" The loudness of his voice got away from him even though he felt relief for finally getting that off his chest.
"I cannot believe this is about your mother!" Hoseok shouted back. "You're going to risk losing Jimin and Yoongi over your mother, who has never treated you the way that she should?"
"What do you mean lose Jimin?" Jin asked seriously.
"Look around, Jin. Where do you think he is right now? Do you honestly believe that if Yoongi goes, Jimin won't go with him?" Jungkook asked. The thought caused him a great deal of pain. Everyone relied on Jimin, more than he probably knew. But he understood, because even if Jin was being a complete ass, Jungkook knew he would stick with him, too.
"Who else wants to go with them?" Jin looked around the room. Half expecting to see every hand raised. 
"No one wants to go, hyung. Not even Yoongi," Tae told him. "We just want to know it matters if we stay."
Jin rushed to sit behind Tae on the bed, covering the younger man's back with his chest. "Of course, Tae. Of course it matters. I would never want to live without any of you," he promised. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being the pack alpha you deserved and for making you think you weren't important to me. Hobi, I'm sorry for causing all this drama and putting you in the middle of it. I never meant to. I was just-"
"A spoiled brat."
Jin sighed and flopped back into the nest on his back. "Yeah. And I need Yoongi, too. To put me in my place when I'm clearly out of line and out of touch."
Jungkook crawled onto the bed to where his leader rested and pulled back his bangs to lay a kiss on his forehead. "We can all do that. But you do have to apologize to Yoongi…if you want him to come with us."
Jin looked sadly into the betas eyes. "Of course I want him to come with us. How would we manage without him?"
"What if he won't come?" Namjoon asked. "What if…I think she's more important to him than we are."
Hoseok still faced away from the group, but spoke clearly. "She's not. He just knows she needs him, more than we do. Or at least, more than we've been showing him. Jin needs a baby and Yoongi needs that omega if we're ever going to have any peace."
"Hobi–"
"Everyone get out."
"Hobi, wait–"
"You're in my nest with your work clothes on. Get up. Go get some pizzas because I don't have time to cook tonight. Get cleaned up before you think about crawling in here again."
Hoseok's boys didn't wait to be told twice before moving and getting out of his way.
Yoongi entered the spare room while Jimin was in the bathroom and flopped onto the bed. The beta had used the blankets from your brief nest to make the bed more cozy. Your sweet apple scent was fading, but he took a deep breath in while he could.
"I'm sorry, it's not a proper nest," Jimin said from the door to the bathroom. It could never be a real nest unless it was made by an omega. 
Yoongi raised his hand in the air toward Jimin. "It will be great if you come down here with me."
Jimin did as he was bid and cuddled into his usual spot, draping his body half way over his hyung's. Yoongi took a deep breath of him, lavender and apples and regrets.
"I don't like hearing them fight," Yoongi said after several minutes.
"I know. But it's not your fault. It had to happen eventually," Jimin reassured him.
"I'm sorry," he murmured.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, hyung."
"I'm acting like I know all the right things to do, but right now I don't know. I don't–" Yoongi tried to hold a sob that was caught in his throat. "I don't want to leave, Jimin. Truly. I love it here so much. I love them. All of them. Even Jin. Even when he's being the world's biggest asshole. But he–"
Jimin stroked his hand along Yoongi's chest to calm his breathing. "It's okay, Yoongi. I trust you. Whatever decision you make, I'll be with you. If there really isn't room for you and me anymore, we'll find our own place. We'll find Y/N. We'll make a home together."
Yoongi pulled Jimin tighter to him and sobbed into his shoulder, whispering repeated apologies while Jimin tried to hush him until they fell asleep just like that.
It had killed Yoongi to leave Jimin in the middle of the night to go to work, but he'd made it through the shift with that hollow, numb feeling left in your chest after you've expelled all your other emotions. He didn't realize how many had actually been boiling in his chest and for how long until he finally got them out. He hoped that he'd make it home in time to drive Jimin to work, but when he arrived, only Jin and Hobi were in the kitchen. Their eyes met with his briefly before he ducked into the spare room and shut the door. He knew he'd have to speak to them eventually, but he wasn't ready yet. The raw anger caused by built-up hurts that he let explode yesterday was gone. He almost didn't feel angry at all anymore. But all the hurt was still there, but while he couldn't tell them how to fix it, talking to each other would only risk inflicting more harm. He showered quickly before he sank into bed and fell asleep surrounded by the scent of you. 
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When he woke in the afternoon he laid in bed and listened to the soft sound of Hobi's footsteps moving from room to room, already organizing to move their whole lives across town. The papers had already been signed. The decision wouldn't be changed. It was fine. Yoongi got up and changed into basketball shorts and an old extra large t-shirt (which was in fact Namjoon's), slipped on his basketball shoes and walked straight from the bedroom out the door before he could be caught out by anyone. 
Yoongi kept his basketball in his car because he was always ready for a pick up game. He tended to have a relatively new one at any given time because when all the balls at the shelter inevitably wandered off, he would leave his and go straight to buy a new one or two. He picked up the ball from the floorboard of the backseat where it wouldn't roll around too much and headed into the shelter. 
Nina, or anyone else who might be working, never stopped to ask him what he needed anymore as he strolled past the desk. She merely offered a pleasant 'hello, how ya been?' And let him be on his way. He went straight back to Jimin's office first.
"Come in," Jimin said quietly when Yoongi knocked on his door. The alpha could see the exhaustion on his face as soon as he walked in. "Hey," he smiled tiredly, but he was genuinely relieved to see the man. 
"Hey, sweetheart. How are you?" Yoongi went around the desk to give him a hug they both needed. He nuzzled Jimin's head under his chin, making sure to give him a good scent marking like he had intended to do this morning. 
"I'm alright. Just tired."
Yoongi crouched down to examine the beta's face more closely. There were dark bags under his eyes and an unfamiliar frown on the usually happy man's lips. "Did you sleep after I left last night?"
"Off and on," Jimin shrugged and continued when he saw Yoongi breathe in to speak. "And before you say sorry to me one more time, don't! You're banned from apologizing for anything."
Yoongi closed his mouth to pout for a second before he asked, "for how long?"
"Until you've done something you need to apologize for. And that doesn't include going to work or leaving me on my own for a few hours. I'm a big boy, Yoongi."
"Well…:
"Don't even start, hyung!"
Yoongi chuckled and pulled him in for a chaste kiss before he stood. Leaning against the desk, he took a look around Jimin's small office. "Anything interesting happen today?"
Jimin knew what he meant to ask, but he hadn't seen or heard from you. "Not today."
"Okay then." Yoongi did his best not to sound disappointed. "I'm going to go shoot some hoops for a while and then I'll drive you home. Make sure you tell Joon." Jimin hummed, and Yoongi turned to leave but stopped and hesitated a moment before he asked, "How was it this morning? I wanted to drive you but–"
Jimin waved his hand dismissively. "It was fine Yoon, don't worry. We didn't talk or anything, but we don't normally talk much on the way to work."
Yoongi grinned. "Neither of you are morning people."
"I'm literally amazed we make it to work every morning," Jimin agreed. 
When Yoongi got to the basketball court it was empty. It was unusual, but not a total shock. It was really a lovely spring day out and if the kids wanted to soak up some of the sun's energy, that was perfectly understandable. He didn't mind playing alone for a bit until someone came in; they eventually would. He stretched before warming up a little and practicing his free throws. There was something calming about having a basketball in his hands. No matter where or when, the feel of the ball at his fingertips never changed. No matter where he moved to or who was around to play, there was always a court, always a game. If it wasn't for basketball he might not have met Jimin at the court where Jimin went to meet his friends even though he never played. 
He let his mind wander as he dribbled and shot, all according to muscle memory. There was too much on his mind for it to completely go silent, but he let the thoughts run through him instead of trying to control him, and by the time someone came to break up his solo practice, Yoongi had a plan. 
Earlier in the morning, Jungkook and Taehyung had gone to get moving boxes and soft packing materials. Since then, Jungkook had gone to work and Tae was responsible for getting his painting room packed and cleaned, leaving Hoseok alone in the kitchen carefully packing dishes with one eye on the front door and the other on the clock, just waiting for his packmates to come home. 
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When Jin comes home first, he can't help but feel a short pang of disappointment. He'd been dying to see Yoongi all day, just to be able to look at him and know he was doing better. Even though he knew that was probably too much to expect. Even though he didn't feel like he should be forgiven yet. 
He couldn't believe how thoughtless they had been—how inconsiderate he had been. When Jin first took him to the house, Hoseok fell in love immediately. He could imagine them all there so easily and picture how their lives would blossom and thrive there. He even pictured you there. There were two smaller bedrooms down the hall from the master suite. One would make a charming room for the children, and the other would be a perfect room for you, at least until you got more comfortable with them. There was space for everyone and Hoseok just wanted it so badly. They moved too fast, but it all seemed to fall into place so perfectly. He had overlooked any immediate concerns in view of the future happiness they would all have, and now he felt terrible for it. Knowing he was complicit in how things played out was the only thing keeping him from being cold toward Jin. Even though he still didn't fully understand Jin's own motivations and wasn't ready to talk about it, he knew it wasn't all Jin's fault. And it wasn't only Yoongi that he needed to make amends to, although the others he felt certain he could placate with plenty of TLC and reassurance. What he didn't know now was whether Yoongi would even give him the chance. And then there was Jimin, who hadn't said a word and hid himself away. Hoseok wasn't sure quite what the beta was feeling, but he knew that when he found things too difficult to face, he tended to hide behind Yoongi and let the alpha speak for him.
Hoseok's focus snapped to the door the instant it opened again and was relieved to see his two smallest packmates enter together. Yoongi met his eyes and he couldn't help brightening up just a bit. At least they'd come home. Jimin went straight to the kitchen where Hoseok was wrapping bowls in paper and washed his hands. After he dried them, Jimin hugged his back. Hosek froze for a split second at the unexpected contact before he melted into Jimin.
"Do you want me to order dinner tonight? I've been craving Chinese all day," Jimin said, nuzzling the omegas back in a way that made him want to purr.
"That sounds great, Jiminie," he smiled and missed him the moment the beta let go. Jimin didn't go far though, only pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table.
Yoongi took a bowl from the stack on the table and a piece of brown paper and began to wrap it carefully, but Hoseok laid his hand over Yoongi's.
"You don't have to help," he said softly.
Yoongi paused and looked him in the eyes for a long moment. "Am I still a part of this pack?"
"Of course you are."
"And I'm still one of your alphas?"
"Always, Yoongi," Hoseok assured him.
He shrugged and began wrapping again. "Then of course I'm helping. You need me. I'm an expert mover."
"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to exclude you. I was thoughtless and I'm really so sorry," he rushed out, unable to go another second without at least trying to put things right. 
Yoongi gave him a half smile. He bit back the knee-jerk 'it's okay' because they both knew it wasn't. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry for flipping out."
Hoseok shook his head. "It was a big deal and you reacted the only way you could."
Yoongi sank into a chair and covered his face with his hand. "I felt like a stupid teenager, yelling at my mom because I didn't know what else to do."
Hoseok frowned and reached for his hand. "I feel terrible that we triggered that for you."
"It's alright, Hobi. What you and Jin did was shitty, but I think I was brewing for a while. I should've noticed last week with how upset I got over Y/N, but I think going to her old apartment set me off. My mom and I lived in a few places like that, and those were the most chaotic times of my life."
"I'm sorry, my love," Hobi said again, stroking his hand. 
Yoongi laughed and looked at Jimin, who was already looking at him. He ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, I get it now." Jimin grinned back, but Hoseok only looked confused. "No more apologies, Hobi. I've already forgiven you. It's done."
Hoseok pouted for a moment. He didn't feel like he'd said enough. "I have to say sorry to Jimin, too. I should've thought more about your feelings."
Jimin shrugged. "I know you won't let it happen again. 
Hoseok nodded and continued. "I need you to know you'll always be a part of this pack. I shouldn't have been in such a rush, but you have to know that it was because I could see how happy we could all be there. I even have Y/N's room picked out already."
Yoongi's back straightened. "Y/N's room?"
"Yeah. I don't know how you would, but I just feel like you'll definitely find her, and she has to be part of our pack."
Yoongi felt the slightest twinge of possessiveness, wanting you to be only his. But his fingers tightened around the omega's. "Thanks, Hobi."
"Does that mean you'll move with us?" Jin asked softly as he entered the kitchen. 
Yoongi looked at Hoseok and shook his head. "Not yet. I think I should stay here a while."
"When I saw her yesterday, I told her that if she needed anything she could come here. Yoongi and I want to stay for a while to see if she comes," Jimin explained the plan Yoongi had discussed in the car. Even though they accepted Hoseok's apology and wanted to stay with the pack, they knew they still needed some time to cool loff from the hurt their packmates had caused, and waiting for you would help, especially if you actually did show up like they hoped. 
Jin nodded thoughtfully before meeting Yoongi's eyes. "That's fine. The house is already listed, but you can stay until it sells. And in the meantime I'll do anything I can to win your trust back. I hope you know how sorry I am for how I've made you feel."
Yoongi nodded but said nothing, knowing that trust could only be built with time.
A/n: i am the tiniest bit sorry about mc being basically absent this chapter. But all in good time i swear. 💜
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Taglist is still acting weird. I'm sorry.
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maxbegone · 5 months
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fully agree that not enough time was spent on game devs this year (again) and way too much time was spent on movie stars. game devs were just brushed off and their awards were announced in spitfire commentary between elite cameos and matthew fucking mcconaughey for some reason. more games, less movie-adjacent projects. someone tweeted, "if you make games, you get 30 seconds to talk at the Game Awards. If you make movies, you get 5 minutes to talk at the Game Awards." more celebrating the people who work tirelessly behind the scenes instead of receiving next to nothing when it comes to acknowledgement at an awards show meant for gaming. don't shoo them off stage because you need to make more time for hollywood actors.
it's been a few days (and eight years since his initial speech) but I am still thinking about greg miller's acceptance speech from when he won for trending gamer in 2015. he thanked nicole tan, an environmental artist from the tomb raider series whose name he saw when the credits rolled, and went on to acknowledge how tirelessly she and others work. more of that, less focus on special appearances.
@ TGA, celebrate your fucking industry instead of trying to pull more views by having big names drop by. we don't care, and clearly you don't care about the heart of it.
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tomsretales · 9 months
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Retales Retold - Day Six
-The computer made me card a man for buying Elmer’s glue. I questioned the computer. It gave no answers.
-A soccer mom walked up to me, frappuccino in hand. She bought a large box of condoms, asked to have them outside of a bag, and then ran out of the store with them.
-My manager brought me a concoction he made behind the Starbucks counter. He told me it was meant to taste like a red Starburst. It tasted nothing like a red Starburst. It tasted exactly like a pink Starburst.
-A mother purchased her four year old daughter a Minnie Mouse stuffed animal. She asked the daughter if she wanted to hold it. The child whispered, “No. She is evil.” What does she know that we do not?
-Another old man purchased twelve boxes of Mello Yello and eight boxes of Sprite. He saved almost as much as he spent. The old man bulk soda purchasing trend continues. I look forward to participating in my later years.
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undergroundkdrama · 1 year
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#KDRAMAWOMENSWEEK 2023 | March 8th – 15th  2023
[alternatively: a week and one day to talk about and make things for women you appreciate in celebration of International Women’s Day] Inspired by @evansbrewster that’s no longer on Tumblr.com.
@kdramaladies will be hosting the event as well. I’ll reblog where I can and try to be present. Prompts courtesy of @dramaheroine who has dont 99.9999% of getting this week to happen, prompts and more, thanks so much. Gifs courtesy of @cuddlybitch, @haeyeongs and @orangesyellow. Thank you all so so much. Thank you to everyone that checks in about this when I am sure I’ll be sitting it out. KWW has been happening for eight years, this being the ninth which is nuts.
Please tag your posts #kdramawomensweek and/or @undergroundkdrama so they are easier to find, admire, and reblog.
Day 1: In Her Head
Women with rich inner worlds, full of hidden thoughts, desires and fantasies. Are her thoughts being revealed to the viewers in visually exciting ways? Think dream sequences, a touch of magical realism, voiceovers, a cut to a talking head or perhaps weird little animated cells…
Day 2: “It” Girl
2021 was all about Haves and Haves Not x2000. 2022 was the year of women in the legal profession. Tell us which of the characters fitting this year’s trend you have enjoyed the most and why. What made them better than the rest? Or what else do you think has been a popular theme/genre/topic for 2022 dramas? How did women fit into the equation? Here are a few examples: gangsters, “behind the scenes”, school violence, countryside living etc.
Day 3: The Help
Women holding everything together in the background, women who have to do all the dirty work, who do thankless labour regardless of the setting or time period. Servants, secretaries, domestic staff, cleaners, nurses, nannies, care workers, housewives…Let’s put some time aside to ‘celebrate those who don’t celebrate’ because they are too busy keeping things running.
Day 4: Bad Girls Club
Everyone loves an angst filled, angry revenge drama so lets talk about the women who seek revenge? Women who hold grudges and whose hearts are filled with rage. Women who hurt others (knowingly and unknowingly). Women who seek power over others and/or themselves in cruel ways. A day for celebrating women’s wrongs.
Day 5: Recommend Her!
Choose your fave – give us a Top 10 that you think she’d make e.g. Spotify Wrapped, her 2023 reading list, her watchlist. Personally, I think that Lee Yeo Reum from Summer Strike listens to a playlist like this (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yrqVOEnwQG4z8czX8qD4k?si=36e45bbaeaad4892) as she walks around the village trying to make sense of who she is and what she wants. Today’s a day for projecting and recommending. Sneak your recs in here.
Day 6: Funny Girl Woman
We know women are funny, here’s your time to show love to the actresses who predominately act in comedies, female characters who you find hilarious and actresses who provide the perfect comedic relief every time they pop up onscreen.
Day 7: Lee Yoon Jung/Noh Hee Kyung OR Surprise!
Two pioneering women behind many of our classic favourite dramas. Think of this as a space for tributes to them, what you love about their dramas, Lee Yoon Jung’s direction, Noh Hee Kyung’s writing, your favourite female characters from their dramas… OR  Your favourite cameos by actresses! Who used their tiny bit of screen time in the best way possible?!
Day 8: Timeslip
What if time travel really existed? What if two female characters from different dramas, from different tv eras could meet? How are they connected? Why should they meet? Think of this as an opportunity for you to travel back in time.
Please also feel free to be inspired by the prompts from previous years (2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2020 Part Deux, 2021, 2022).
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el-tur-el · 1 month
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Dust to Dust - Chapter One.
Pairing: Geraldus x F!Tav
Warnings: Religious Trauma, Angst
Word Count: 1,010. Read it on AO3.
Summertime in Appalachia was always such a suffocating affair; the air thick and sticky, the scent of manure hanging heavy for miles. The sleepy town she’s called home for twenty-two long years always seems to spark to life the most in the in-between, from July to late August. Children free from school, playing in the front yards. Grandmothers sitting on the wraparound porches, sipping sweet tea and lemonade and waving at passersby. The earth itself opening up, bugs stirring to life with the warmth of it all, the cicadas singing in the trees.
There was a time when she would have called it beautiful. But that feels like a lifetime ago, now.
The creek behind her house has become something of a second home to her over the years; eight years old and skipping stones with Geraldus, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made by her mother wrapped in thick butcher paper, the jam bleeding through and making sticky purple blotches. Rhododendron smiles and chubby cheeks. Thirteen and wading through the mud in their highwaters, flipping over algae-slick stones and searching for crawdads.
Small moments of freedom. Him there for all of them.
They’re different now, the pair of them. Older and sadder, which is a silly thing to think when you’re in your early twenties and you have your entire life ahead of you. But there is a distinct somberness hanging over the both of them as they sit on the bank, mud clinging to thrift store jeans. Unsure of themselves, trying desperately to fit into their clumsy frames, skin thin and worn in its stretch over their skeletons.
Desperate to become something larger than themselves, but having no opportunity to do so.
“Have you seen that TikTok trend? The one with the oranges?” She asks, though she’s gazing up at the overcast sky, the blanket of clouds that seem to suffocate the sunlight. Fitting.
“I don’t have TikTok.” He’s folded up on himself, always so scared of taking up space, even now. Knees pressed against his chest, his arms hugged around them. So much limb and nowhere to put it.
She’d very much like to slot herself in the spaces between his ribs, help him stretch out, transcend the need for flesh. Bones picked clean by the vultures, all bloated carrion and freedom. Maybe then he could relax. Maybe then she could find meaning.
“Oh. Well, basically, it’s like… if someone really cares about you, they’d peel your orange for you, or something. Little acts of service. It’s a thing for relationships, I guess. A test.” She tosses a stone at the water, watches the splash and ripple of it like it’ll somehow tell her how to break free.
It doesn’t. Her gaze flickers to Geraldus.
“That seems rather silly. Why would you need to test your relationship?”
“I would peel an orange for you.” She says with certainty, with finality. They are not together, and it’s foolish to hope that they ever will be, but perhaps these small declarations can be an act of rebellion in their own right. A tiny act of selfishness. “I’d peel as many oranges for you as you wanted.”
He does not point out to her that they are not, in fact, in a relationship.
Instead, quietly, he murmurs, “I would peel an orange for you too, Tav.”
And then the cicadas swallow them whole once more.
It is late in the Winter of 2009 - snow blankets the rolling hills and farmland for miles around. The groundhog saw his shadow this year, and the people on the news say that that means six more weeks of cold. She is 8 years old, and all she knows is that more snow means less school, which means more time to watch re-runs on TV and drink the thick, cloying hot chocolate her mother makes.
Life is good. As good as it can be.
“Do you think that you’ll grow up to be a pastor like your dad someday, Geraldus?” She asks as they haul their sleds up the bank of a retention pond - mercifully dry for the season, and perfect for all kinds of chaos when the snow is as light and powdery as this.
“I think so. That’s what he wants me to do.” He’s all rosy cheeks and glossy eyes, the cold air biting at skin. His mother didn’t send him out with a scarf - she decides that maybe she’ll have her grandmother teach her to crochet after all, so that she can make him one.
“But is that what you want to do?” She stops, looking at him with as concerned an expression as an eight year old can manage. “I think you should be allowed to do what you want to do. That’s what the people on the news say all the time. That we live in America and people should be allowed to do what they want.”
He pauses, too. “I think I want to. Why shouldn’t I?”
“It sounds boring.” She crinkles up her nose as a particularly strong breeze cuts through, kicking up snow with it, swirling it around them. “You’d have to read the bible like, all the time. And say grace even when you’re really hungry and you don’t want to.”
“My dad says reading the bible is good. Being a good Christian will get you into Heaven.”
“Your dad says a lot of things. He’s kind of boring, too.”
“Maybe.” He says, and there’s a pause before he’s moving on to the next thing in the way that kids always seem to, without a second thought, scatterbrained and rambunctious. “I’ll race you to the top!”
She nearly trips as she moves to chase after him, her sled dragging behind her.
Maybe thinking a little too hard about life and what to do about it is something better reserved for when you’re bigger.
The next day, when they once again find themselves at the creek, he pulls out two peeled clementines wrapped neatly in paper towels.
She doesn’t know what to do about life now, either.
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writingduhh · 6 months
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Ted Nivison Halloween /Fall (HC’s)
I hope this is alright.. leave me some more HC ideas (Ted, Schlatt, or Charlie) !
Pairing: Ted & Y/n
▷ You and Ted love to carve pumpkins together. Every year, you create the most adorable jack-o'-lanterns, from inside jokes/memes, to the simple ghost or other Halloween creature.
▷ Halloween means playful pranks in your house. You enjoy surprising each other with harmless scares, turning the home into a haunted funhouse.
“Hey Ted I -“
You were cut off by a loud yell as Ted jumped out from behind the door frame, scaring you half to death.
“Ahhh! That’s the third time today.” You exclaimed, placing a heart over your racing heart.
“I’m sorry hun, I just can’t help it.” He defends, opening his arms.
Gladly you walked into his embrace, him placing a kiss on top of your head as your arms wrapped his torso.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get you back.” You smirk, earning a playful laugh from him.
“We’ll see about that.”
▷ I bet Ted insists on taking Halloween themed pictures together… or having a whole photoshoot! (Like the ghost one that was trending last year) Either way he will spend the following week posting his favorite pictures that you had taken, many of which were solo photos of you ;)
▷ You and Ted are a dynamic Halloween duo. Each year, you both eagerly immerse yourselves in the creative process of crafting costumes that perfectly complement one another, resulting in charming couple-themed ensembles. Whether it's reimagining famous characters, bringing childhood tales to life, or expressing your love in a quirky way, you always have the best costumes.
▷ You definitely have matching Halloween sweatshirts
▷ Whenever Ted isn’t busy filming and you aren’t busy working/doing school, the two of you enjoy cozy evenings reading the best Halloween literature. Both taking turns reading the ghost stories out loud as the other intently listens.
“And that was the last she was seen.” Ted concludes, closing the large black book he held in his hands.
“That was a good one! Definitely top 5.” You exclaim, your head currently laying in his lap as he softly played eight your hair, twisting it gently around his finger.
“I agree. Nothing tops your story though. That one was terrifying!” He grins, leaning in for a kiss.
▷ During the fall, your kitchen transforms into a battleground for delightful bake-offs with Ted. The kitchen becomes a playful arena for friendly banter and rivalry, as you both aim to outdo each other's creations. It's all in good fun, and as you exchange tastes of your delectable masterpieces, the joy of sharing this tradition strengthens your love.
▷ You and Ted have an annual tradition of visiting a local pumpkin patch in the fall. With childlike wonder, you explore the patch, searching for the perfect pumpkins. The experience is filled with discussions about each pumpkin's unique qualities, playful debates on which to choose for carving, and a sense of togetherness. Upon returning home, you set up a carving station, excitedly discussing your design ideas, and as you carve, the room fills with laughter and the earthy scent of pumpkins.
▷ As Halloween draws near, your and Ted's home transforms into incredibly decorated haunted house. Every year on the first of October you and Ted fish out the numerous boxes of Halloween decorations. Together you spend the entire day decking the halls in spooky apparel, listening to your curated playlist of spooky songs.
▷ On Halloween night, you enjoy handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, Ted always goes all out with the treats, often giving out extra to make the kids smile.
▷ You and Ted are known for your amazing Halloween parties. Every year you invite all of your closest friends over for a costume party complete with intricate snacks and drinks, the best decorations, and overall amazing atmosphere for everyone to party the night away.
▷ Together you frequently take long walks in the crisp autumn air, holding hands and kicking leaves along the way.
▷ Scary movie nights are always an essential.
“Y/n! Hurry the movie is starting.”
“Coming!” You yelled back, searching the room for something to throw on.
Just then you see on of Teds massive sweatshirts draped across a chair. Smiling you grabbed the piece of clothing before throwing it on, running out into the living room. There your eyes met Teds as he curled up with multiple blankets, popcorn and snacks at the ready.
“You look cozy.” He teases, lifting up the blankets for you to join him.”
“Sorry I just had to grab something quick. I can change if you’d like.”
“No no, please don’t. You look so cute. I love seeing you in my clothes.” He smirked, pulling the blankets over the two of you before resuming the movie.
▷ After Halloween passes the two of you keep your costumes as keepsakes to remind them of the fun memories they create together each year.
▷ You and Ted enjoy taking scenic drives to admire the vibrant fall foliage, often stopping to take pictures and enjoy a cozy picnic.
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hctbxed · 17 days
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𓏲  *   ( paul mescal, cismale, he/his )   ⸺   pictures of ATTICUS REID,  the  twenty-eight  year  old  photographer,  have been showing up all over my feed, and considering the last time they were #trending, it was due to posting embarrassing poetry about his ex on instagram — i’m not likely to unfollow anytime soon. with their plain white tee threaded with the finest cotton, levi 501s cuffed at the ankle, doc marten suede slingbacks & an ancient denim jacket that smells of cigarettes. they’ve managed to garner a reputation for being more vehement than reticent. their critics say that they’re more saturnine than cabalistic when they aren’t too busy focusing on their at a freshly popped! cork, crimson sloshes into a glass ,musk and berry hesitates before the syrupy acidity slips across your tongue,  &  the thunderstorm that brews between furrowed brows is a treacherous one, a magpie will see shine and expect something fantastical but those up close know better than to entertain riches. an abandoned shoreline. easy. breathe. those golden spectacles that pry into your toes and make home there for weeks. a deep breath as the tide washes away. bitterness - coffee, wine - he is not for the faint - hearted as he is not one of faint heart. malignants dance around his bed frame with taunts that fall from spiked tongues, blood is drawn until you awake with a start. reputation.com has taken to calling them SPACE COWBOY in order to avoid a lawsuit ( again ).  ──  
𝐢
his story starts washed in crimson; the sky burns with the knowledge of heartbreak, a shattered muscle torn from the chest and crumbled into pulp across the width of a fist. it’s not a dark and stormy night when atticus is placed upon the steps of an orphanage buried deep in the veins of new york, his awakening limbs wrapped up in plaid blankets like the opening scene of a hollywood picture. the sun fizzles, pride has made way for humility as darkness sweeps in, the stoic buzz of the cicadas steady in the evening breeze. a city that never sleeps is stirring, the streets alive with unfinished romances and subdued goodbyes. it’s parents who he’ll never get to know that slink into the shadows, press the doorbell and run because running is all they’ve ever known. he doesn’t cry as he’s lifted into strange arms, coddled by the strength of a bicep. it’s almost as if he’s aware, even in his innocence, that this feeling will become all too familiar to him, to fall in love brilliantly but fleetingly.
𝐢𝐢 but life never seems to reflect the glitz and glamour of the movies; he learns this firsthand; the city is disgusting - a rotting corpse of the age of romance. he grows up under multiple roofs - the people who take him in more cruel and gluttonous than the next, ruled by the exchange of power as though the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things; he watches through tired eyes as dreams are crushed and devoured beneath the tongue of the devil. the skylines are drained of hope, a lacklustre enthusiasm seeps from the pores of the street and rusts the ground with a filmy layer of melancholy. he spends his childhood with families who will never love him because they can’t love themselves - it’s a blur of melancholy & an ache in his bones, he feels more alone than ever.
𝐢𝐢𝐢 he finds solace behind the cool metallic touch of a camera ; had fallen for the lens from a young age, capturing life’s most beautiful ugly moments - crooked teeth and broken hearts, greetings & goodbyes, scars and bruises, tear stained cheeks and crinkled eyes. he has a talent for it too, and the portraits he posts on social media of his friends soon begin to create traction. it’s always people he photographs, rather than places or products, uses a soft hand to coax his models into vulnerability, his pictures always hauntingly delicate. 
𝐢𝐯
currently freelances but has done shoots for various vogues, paper, rolling stone, the new yorker etc.
personality wise he is kind of mysterious.. doesn’t really talk about his past which he is slightly hardened by, but he’s also a LOVER BOY so he can be naive/co-dependent when it comes to relationships… he definitely looks for the good/beauty in everything. 
a good friend to have, always has a j*int in the pocket of his jeans or tucked behind his ear. 
has a hard case of imposter syndrome
terrified everybody is going to leave him one day :(
definitely has an instagram like c*le spr*use of pictures of people taking pictures of him
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ukrfeminism · 1 year
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10 minute read
In early January 2012, Karen Ingala Smith was at the airport returning from holiday when she took a call from a colleague. She heard that a desperate young woman who’d sought help from Nia, the women’s refuge charity Ingala Smith runs, had just been murdered. Once back home, Ingala Smith opened her laptop to find out more.
Searching Google for “woman’s body found”, she soon discovered Nia’s client Kirsty Treloar, 20, the mother of a month-old baby who’d been abducted from her family home in Hackney, east London, by her boyfriend, Myles Williams, from whom she’d recently fled. Stabbing Kirsty’s brother and sister as they tried to stop him, Williams bundled her into his car. Later her body was found two miles away, dumped behind a wheelie bin, with 29 knife wounds.
But this online search yielded other results, so Ingala Smith read on. That same day in Co Durham, Susan McGoldrick, along with her sister Alison Turnbull and niece Tanya, were shot dead by her partner, Michael Atherton. Meanwhile in Nuneaton, nightclub bouncer Aaron Mann had beaten his girlfriend, Claire O’Connor, then smothered her with a pillow. The next day in Shropshire, a retired teacher, Betty Yates, 77, was beaten with her walking stick and stabbed to death by a drifter, Stephen Farrow. On January 3 in Buckinghamshire, Marie McGrory was strangled with a dog lead by her husband, John; in South Lanarkshire Kathleen Milward, 87, was bludgeoned to death by her grandson, Garry Kane.
Through her work, Ingala Smith was grimly familiar with such killings. But this deluge of cases appalled her. Eight British women had been murdered by men – all except one a partner or family member – in the first week of 2012. Each brutal murder, illustrated with a smiling holiday snap, was reported as neutrally as the weather: men killing their womenfolk was “just one of those things”.
“Perhaps because it was the start of the year,” says Ingala Smith. “I made a list of the names, as that’s the easiest way to tell one case from another. And then I never stopped.”
She began trawling local newspaper and police websites, creating an ExCel spreadsheet which she’d update as cases came to court.
It was an upsetting task, which Ingala Smith learnt to avoid just before bedtime. Her data collection method was crude but, until this year, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) only published figures for the sex of victims, not their killers, making female victims of male violence hard to quantify. As her list lengthened Ingala Smith created a Counting Dead Women Twitter account, posting each killing. This attracted public attention and a philanthropist who awarded her a grant to hire part-time staff. Now she could analyse murder trends and since 2015 has published the Femicide Census.
But what mattered most to Ingala Smith were women’s names, not numbers. So in 2016 she was delighted when the Labour MP Jess Phillips – who’d previously worked for Women’s Aid – asked to read them out on International Women’s Day. Now this roll call of more than 120 stolen lives, recited to a hushed House of Commons, has become an annual commemoration. “Dead women is a thing we’ve all just accepted as part of our daily lives,” Phillips said last year, when among the names was Sarah Everard. The list not only put male violence in the national spotlight but, says Ingala Smith, “Family after family have said how important it is to hear their loved one’s name read out in parliament, and know it is recorded in Hansard for ever.”
Now Ingala Smith, 54, has written a book, Defending Women’s Spaces, drawing upon more than 30 years of working with vulnerable women who are homeless or fleeing domestic abuse. After witnessing the power of female-only services she is alarmed by moves to make “gender identity” rather than sex the criteria for admission to refuges and rape survivor groups. She points out that 98 per cent of rapes and 90 per cent of violent crime is committed by males. While “What is a woman?” has become a question politicians struggle to answer, Ingala Smith is categoric. “Allowing biological males with transgender identities to access women’s spaces,” she writes, “poses a serious potential risk to women’s safety, wellbeing and recovery.”
Ingala Smith grew up in a home that was far from harmonious: anger and upset were never far away. The man she called Dad was a builder, providing what she describes as “a comfortable working-class home” in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. But, she says, he was a controlling man: “It felt the whole family, especially my mum, was always walking on eggshells.”
Eventually, when Ingala Smith was 18, her mother left and confided in a friend that Karen had a different father. In fact, she was the product of a fling at 18 with her fiancé’s best man, a Sicilian who’d moved to Yorkshire to marry a local girl he’d met in Milan. While Ingala Smith’s brother and sister were blond, she was dark and, as she grew older, her mother secretly removed photos from the wedding album in case she noticed how similar she looked to a certain guest.
When Ingala Smith heard about her real father she made contact. At 21 she met him at Thornton railway station, near Bradford. “I was looking for this gorgeous Italian man,” she says. “I’m thinking Robert De Niro, Al Pacino – and actually I got Danny DeVito.” She laughs. They hit it off straight away and she was quickly welcomed into his family, later meeting her Sicilian grandparents.
A bright girl, Ingala Smith found school a sanctuary from her troubled home life. There were few books in her house and she’d never considered A-levels let alone college, “but I happened to have a good friend from what you might call a first generation middle-class family. I remember having my mind blown that they had political conversations around the dinner table, because we weren’t allowed to speak when we were eating.”
Studying sociology at sixth-form college was “absolutely life-changing – it put everything I was experiencing into context”. It was here she first encountered feminism, which she regarded then as irrelevant, feeling more in common with the lads from her old comprehensive than the “posh girls” now in her class who’d been at a fee-paying school.
After graduating from the University of Kent, she took a job in a hostel for homeless women, mainly elderly former psychiatric patients. Then, after two years, she began work at a domestic violence refuge and felt immediately she was in the right place. “Any woman I met could have been my mother. In fact, one summer Mum came on a trip we organised for the refuge kids and she started talking about how there hadn’t been anything like this when she’d needed it.”
Would her mother have left for a refuge? Ingala Smith shrugs. “I don’t know. They are not easy places to live in. We had a nice home and to give that up would be really hard, as it is for anyone.” She says people rarely understand refuges are places of absolute last resort. “They can be chaotic, noisy. Women who have other economic choices would go elsewhere. You’re moving into a house with maybe ten other families that you don’t know, with children of all different ages, with very different parenting ideas to your own. They can really help kids who’ve grown up with violent dads because they meet others in the same boat. But they’re challenging places.”
A move to a refuge is invariably fast. A woman in danger is referred by police or social services, then refuge staff have a brief phone call to try to determine whether she’s a danger to others – perhaps has a history of violence or arson – before arranging to meet her close by. (A refuge never gives out its address on the phone.) “You’d imagine women would turn up black and blue, but that is rare,” Ingala Smith says. “I think women wait until they’re ‘decent’. Besides, after an assault they often don’t have the strength to get themselves together. They wait until it’s quieter, when they know it’s coming again, and then leave.”
The refuge suggests a safety plan: to gather up passports and bank books; siphon possessions discreetly to a friend’s house; to remember that you’re most at risk of violence just after leaving. Ingala Smith notes there were few referrals in late December. “Women didn’t want to leave violent men and disrupt Christmas for children, and you knew anybody who came at that time of year – one year we had a woman turn up on Christmas Eve with three kids – was in a really bad way. In January, the phone rings off the hook.”
Ingala Smith has been the CEO of Nia since 2009. Beginning as Hackney Women’s Aid in 1975, it supports about 2,000 women a year, running a specialist refuge for women in prostitution and another for those dealing with substance abuse. Much has changed since she joined the refuge movement: many small feminist charities have merged as they must now compete for council contracts with generic housing trusts. These don’t provide the “woman-centred care” Ingala Smith believes is vital for those fleeing violent men.
Nia also works with women at high risk of domestic violence and runs East London Rape Crisis, serving both sexes. Here it counsels men and trans women, whom it often refers to Galop, a specialist LGBT+ anti-abuse charity. But no male people – whether men or trans women – are allowed into Nia refuges or group counselling.
In 2017, Nia’s trustees decided to invoke the exemptions in the Equality Act that permit single-sex services “as a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim”. It knew this was a risk. Such is the toxic debate on gender, female-only services often receive threats to their funding or have staff reported to trustees merely for liking a JK Rowling tweet. They receive hoax calls to test whether they are trans inclusive. The whole sector is chilled by how trans activists targeted Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter: it was defunded, vandalised and had a dead rat pinned to its door for remaining single sex.
The question of whether a trans woman can safely be accommodated alongside women has riven the refuge movement. “They [trans women] are not a potential risk to women because they are trans,” she writes, “but because they are male.” She cites cases of trans prisoners like Karen White who were allowed into female jails and sexually abused inmates. “Prison officers, who are really good at risk-assessing violent men, get it wrong. So how can we screen [people] in five-minute phone calls?”
Besides, this is about more than safety. Many women in refuges endured sexual abuse, often as children. Being housed with any males generates a debilitating and involuntary post-traumatic response in the brain. “It’s not hate. It’s not bigotry. It’s not transphobia,” she says. “It is an impact of abuse by men… The presence of a male-bodied person among vulnerable women causes distress and consternation.” She is aghast that Mridul Wadhwa, the trans woman who heads Edinburgh Rape Crisis, told The Guilty Feminist podcast last year that female survivors who demand male-free spaces should work to “reframe their trauma”.
In group counselling, she says, male people have been socialised to dominate groups, to ask more questions and take up space, while women have learnt to serve and make way for them. “I remember talking to a woman about what her options were and she started crying. I asked why. She said, ‘Nobody’s ever given me a choice before.’ To recover, women have to centre themselves in their own lives.”
But what of women who say they have no problem receiving counselling alongside trans women? “I understand that some female rape survivors can say, ‘A women-only service is not important to me. I’d be happy for a trans sister to be in my group.’ If they want to say that, it’s fine, but they shouldn’t take away that choice from women for whom it isn’t fine.” Young women who campaign for trans-inclusive services, she says, are mainly middle-class graduates unlikely to need them. Nia’s younger staff support the policy, even though defending it has cost some of them friends.
At root, Ingala Smith believes, violence suffered by women and trans women has a different dynamic. In her book she disputes Stonewall’s assertion that trans women suffer the highest levels of domestic abuse and murder. “Well, show me the data. Because I hear that, but I’ve never seen figures to demonstrate it.” She has collated every murder victim who might come under the broad Stonewall definition of a trans woman (which includes occasional cross-dressers). Since 2009, there have been nine murders, the last being Amy Griffiths in 2019. Most were sex workers murdered by punters or who died in drug-related fights. Just one, Vanessa Santillan in 2015, was killed by an intimate partner.
By contrast, only about 8 per cent of women victims are killed by strangers, the rest by men they know. “Most women’s refuges work exclusively with women who are fleeing partners, former partners and, in some cases, family members,” she writes. “That doesn’t mean other people don’t need places of safety or support, just that their experiences and needs are different.” She wonders why Stonewall doesn’t devote its resources to setting up specialist services rather than campaigning against those created by and for women.
The Femicide Census has revealed trends Ingala Smith hadn’t anticipated. “I was shocked,” she says, “by the number of elderly women killed in burglaries. I assumed that if a man broke into an old woman’s house he might push her down the stairs, she could be frail and bang her head. But there’s a real brutality, a particular anger and misogyny involved. Often young men use sexual violence against elderly women.” She was also surprised how many women are killed by their own sons.
Twice as many men are murdered than women but overwhelmingly by other men. When women kill – 8 per cent of murderers are female – they are both more likely to use a weapon (which makes it an aggravated offence in sentencing) and to have been abused by their victim, while men, being stronger, frequently kill with their bare hands. Strangulation is men’s second most common murder method and lately Ingala Smith has seen many lawyers adopt the “sex game gone wrong” defence.
How has devoting her life to the terrible things men do to women affected her own life? “I had a string of disastrous relationships – I just shagged around, basically – and didn’t think men were up to much.” She’d find herself moved to tears when witnessing a happy family, since her own experience was so dysfunctional.
Then, after writing off men as “avenues for happiness”, she decided to apply herself properly rather than settling for “whoever I ended up snogging in a pub at the weekend”. She started internet dating, setting herself high standards. The result was her husband of 20 years, André, a subtitler of South African parentage who speaks four languages, to whom she dedicates her book. They have no children, after several painful failed courses of IVF.
Ingala Smith knows her book will put her further in the firing line – the Labour Party has already refused her application for membership – but single-sex services “are the hill I’m prepared to die on”. That list of dead women never gets any shorter, I say. Will there ever be fewer names? “That’s the subject of my PhD, which I’m just finishing,” she says, “and my next book.” Defending Women’s Spaces by Karen Ingala Smith is out now (£15.99, Polity)
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the-conversation-pod · 10 months
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Welcome Back My Boyfriend!
AND WE'RE BACK!
It's finally time to discuss Our Skyy 2! We were playing hurt this night: Ben was still recovering from dental surgery (please forgive his voice during this episode) and Nini was nursing a headache. Still, it didn't stop us from discussing all eight shows and talking about the crossover for an hour!
Nini and Ben assess the entirety of Our Skyy 2 and rank the offerings from worst to first.
Listen on Apple Podcasts
Listen on Google Podcasts
Timestamps
The timestamps will now correspond to chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.
0:00 - Welcome 1:15 - Intro 6:07 - Vice Versa 14:23 - Star in My Mind 19:20 - Never Let Me Go 28:00 - A Boss and a Babe 36:45 - The Eclipse 49:50 - My School President 1:00:24 - Badd Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars 1:59:13 - Overall Score for Our Skyy 2
The Conversation: Now With Transcripts!
We received an accessibility request to include transcripts for the podcast. We are working with @ginnymoonbeam on providing the transcripts and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader.
We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.
Please send our volunteers your thanks!
0:00 - Welcome
Nini
Hello, hello! Your QL fandom aunty and uncle are here with giant sunglasses, brown liquor in a flask, a folded five-dollar bill to slip into your hand when no one is looking, lukewarm takes, occasional rides on the discourse, deep dives into artistry and the industry.
Ben
Lots of simping! I’m Ben.
Nini
I’m Nini.
Ben
And this is The Conversation. About once a season, we plan to swan in and shoot the shit on faves, flops, and trends that we’ve been noticing in the BL, GL, or QL Industry. Between seasons, you can find us typing way too many words on Tumblr.
1:15 - Intro
Nini
Hi, Ben. How are you tonight?
Ben
I'm battling my own body's slow recovery from dental surgery but it doesn't matter because we have so much to record so we're sticking to the schedule!
Nini
But, we're gonna be okay. You've got meds, I've got meds—a.k.a. beer—for this headache. We're gonna be fine. We're doing it live. So, what are we talking about tonight? We are talking about Our Skyy 2… What a journey. Ben, explain to the people the concept of Our Skyy.
Ben
Welcome back, my boyfriend! That's it. 
Nini
[laughs]
Ben
Jojo started this off and summed it up perfectly. Our Skyy originally served as a sort of epilogue project for the initial run of GMMTV BLs. 
In the first run we had the Puppy Honey crew with OffGun, the SOTUS pair with Krist and Singto, the InSun pair from My Dear Loser: Edge of 17, Tay and New from Kiss the series—before Dark Blue Kiss, and Drake and Frank from My Tee a.k.a. ‘Cause You're My Boy.
Nini
So, that's the concept of Our Skyy. So, when GMMTV put out its 2023 offerings last year: Surprise! Our Skyy 2. They are giving us epilogues for 2020, 2021, and some 2022 shows. We're gonna dive into these.
Ben
With the original Our Skyy it was kind of chaotic. So, every crew kind of just did what felt right for their characters. 
Like, Pete and Kao basically went on a date that was mostly uncomplicated—something their characters needed. 
OffGun did a body swap which was just so they could let Gun pick on Off for a bit. 
In and Sun got closure—unsurprising, Aof was on that one. 
‘Cause You're My Boy: they just kind of did just a hot mess that was weirdly endearing, which is exactly what their show was. 
And SOTUS did like the the next most logical thing for Arthit and Kongpob, which was them kinda saying goodbye as they were heading into a long distance form of their relationship because Kongpob was pursuing higher schooling outside of Thailand, if I remember correctly?
In a similar vein, this particular Our Skyy run that we're going to be talking about very much captured what I think the core spirit of the original work was, and each team came back to it—for the most part—with something to say that was consistent with their original offerings. 
Nini
Yep.
Ben
We went Never Let Me Go, Star in My Mind, The Eclipse, Vice Versa, My School President, A Boss and a Babe, Bad Buddy? and then A Tale of Thousand Stars.
Nini
I also think that the airing order was very interesting and maybe we'll get a little time to talk about how they chose to air what they did when they did. This Our Skyy, I think, wanted to lean a little bit into the crack. Every single outing had a little bit of a crack element to it—and I quite like that. I enjoyed that. I had fun with that—for the most part—and we'll get to the ones where I did not enjoy that.
Ben
I do think that the Our Skyy project leans into fan service, and not in an inherently negative way? They want the people who enjoyed this show to have fun coming back to the show, and it’s been notable for me that, for the most part, I found that if someone really liked the original show they also really liked their Our Skyy outing. So like, for those of you who've listened to me or followed me, you know what shows I didn't like or despised when they aired and—unsurprisingly—my takes are fairly consistent.
Nini
Maybe it's the corners of the internet that I've been perusing, which you always tell me to stop looking at…I feel like the more that people liked the OG show the more upset they were with the Our Skyy. Maybe that's just the people are being wrong on the internet corners of the internet that I like to occasionally look through. [laughs]
Ben
[laughs] I don't go there.
6:07 - Vice Versa
Nini
Let's delve into it. Let's start talking some specifics. So, if we're going from worst to first my worst without a doubt was the Vice Versa Our Skyy. I am on record as not having watched Vice Versa because I was not interested in Vice Versa. I have tried and failed so many times with Jittirain stories that I knew that I was not going to enjoy this one, and so I never watched the original. But, for the sake of the podcast, I watched every single Our Skyy including this one, except I did not finish this one. [laughs] I started watching it. I was mostly annoyed, and then something happened that just… I just said, “Oh, absolutely not,” and I stopped watching it.
So, the trope—the, the crack trope—for the Vice Versa Our Skyy; the fan fic-y, fan service-y trope is: Add a Kid. I think it's Puen? Puen and Talay have been together for a while now. They're working hard, working a lot. They don't have as much time for each other. And so Talay comes up with the idea of doing a month of special days where they pay very close attention to each other and they do special things together. And it's a really sweet idea and honestly if that had been it I would have been fine. There would have been no problem. 
But then they add a kid, and the way that they add a kid is what pisses me off. One of their friends… essentially delivers his nephew into the care of these strangers… so that they can play house? But it's also like a trick that Puen is playing on Talay. Because this kid just shows up at the house and Talay thinks that it might be his kid. Like, the, the setup of Vice Versa has always—as I have said before—every time I think I know what Vice Versa is about, Ben lets me know that I don't actually know what Vice Versa is about. But there's some way that Talay thinks that this kid is his somehow.
Ben
Would you like the context for why he believes that kid is his?
Nini
Sure, hit me with it!
Ben
So, they basically spend two years in the other world with Nanon and Ohm’s characters in their bodies. Ohm's character, Tess, is an asshole who absolutely ruined Talay’s life for the two years he was in his body. He sabotaged and ruined every personal and professional relationship that Talay had. 
When he got back to his own body he had to spend years fixing his own life. Which sucks, because while he was in Tess's body he basically fixed Tess's life. It's really upsetting for me that Puen, who claims to love Talay, who watched him suffer for all of the things that Tess did to his life would genuinely let Talay believe that Tess saddled him with the responsibility of an unplanned kid… because he thinks his boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to him… like he makes his boyfriend work outside in a tent in Thailand to do graphic design on an iMac.
Nini
You were really really mad about the tent. [laughs] I remember when we were watching this. You were really pissed about the tent.
Ben
I'm—I'm not over it.
It's humid in Thailand! Why would he be outside with a Mac? Oh my God—
It's frustrating because… On the one hand, I understand the impulse of, like, how do we get these guys to consider a new form of domesticity together? But, like, why do we have to use an actual child? Why can't we use, like, a dog, or a cat? Not coercing a child into letting strangers bathe him, and treat him like he's their son, and sleep with him in their bed. It’s so, so weird… and really unhinged… and it made me like a bunch of characters even less than I already did! 
It was aggravating. It's frustrating because Puen did this through the whole show. Like, he doesn't trust Talay. He lies to him. He manipulates him. Talay and he are both in entertainment and Talay was against a huge deadline the night of Puen’s birthday, and he couldn't take a break from his work to meet his deadline to go do flirty, boyfriend things with Puen. 
Puen expressed this frustration directly the next day in a way that I thought was totally valid and then Talay goes, ‘You are correct. Here is the plan I've come up with for us to make sure that we don't take our own relationship for granted, and keep working at it.’ And they have a really great month doing cute boyfriend date things while trying to maintain their careers. And so the whole secret baby felt completely unnecessary. 
Like, we need something to happen for the plot to justify Jimmy, Neo, Aou, and Sea hanging out together. So, we have to introduce a secret baby, I guess? 
I hated it…[laughs] Like, people joke that I don't often give low scores because I don't usually watch crap. Like, if something is, like, really really bad out of the gate I am like, “Oof! I don't have time for this!” and I'll usually drop it these days, because I got too much to do. But, like, I gave the show a 3 because I was deeply put off by the coercion of a child and the audacity of it all. Because, like, you know what your boyfriend went through because of Tess. 
Why would you pull on that really traumatic thread from five years ago and make him believe that Tess had done this to him as well—knowing that Talay has a strong sense of responsibility, and would of course try to do right by a potential child. 
Like, it's hard to even talk about, like, any of the cute relationship things that may have come out of this because, like, they should divorce.
Nini
I did not enjoy this when it was revealed that the kid was…tricked. I turned it off, and I did not watch the end. 
For every special of Our Skyy, I gave it a drama score and a crack score. My drama score for this was a -5, because I was entirely unamused—like wholly unamused. This is not what I came to see in any way. I don't care if the kid is cute. I don't care if they're all cute together. They're literally using a child to fix their relationship—
Ben
And, explicitly, the child's parents did not know that this was happening.
Nini
—which makes it worse! So, I gave it a drama score of a -5, which is of course an overreaction but it's still getting a 0. Crack score, I gave it a 10, because it is actual crack? Like, this is probably the crackiest thing that happened in all of Our Skyy. But…it's not enjoyable as crack! So, let's give it a… 5 for crack… So, 0 for drama, 5 for crack gives it a score of 2.5, which sounds about correct.
Ben
Yeah, not good. 
Nini
Yeah.
Ben
Pass.
Nini
Not good. Tens or chops? One chop! 
Ben
Two chops!
[both laugh]
14:23 - Star in My Mind
Nini
Let's leave Vice Versa behind in the dustbin where it belongs and let's move on to the next on the list: Star in My Mind. Hoo! 
Ben
[laughs]
Nini
Ben, I can't even remember what happened, I was so bored watching these episodes, like, dead bored. Star in My Mind is also a show that I did not watch the OG show. So, I had no idea what it was about and was going in blind. And, I think that I was correct to not watch the OG show, because… if it was anything as boring as this, I didn't need to see it.
Ben
[sighs] So, the Star in My Mind special is basically just the gang going on a little vacation together, and then New tries to subvert the “You're together now. Let's throw in a jealousy element bit.” Like, you put a note on here that the trope for this one is “trick your friends into going on vacation.” 
So, their friends try to tease Daonuea into believing that maybe Kluen has eyes for some girl, and Daonuea gets jealous about this, and then a fight ensues and the friends get all upset. But we in the audience know that the guys are faking this fight. They knew what their friends were up to, but they were kind of flaking on this vacation. So, he uses this fake fight to force them to go on vacation with them. 
Whatever. 
Like, I think the part of this that was cute was New just throwing away the whole jealousy trope for BL, and then having the gay characters just be like, ‘Yeah, this is stupid. Anyway, we're going to absolutely use this against them because these bitches will not buy their tickets and I'm [gonna] force them to.” And, like, that part was kind of fun.
I'm in my breakup era with New right now. I can see, again, him trying to do something here. New is currently over BL. He’s tired of it. You can feel that in Star in My Mind. Like, he's completely bored with all of this. And so what could have been, like, at least a cute trip, just looks like five straight dudes hanging out in the woods for like an hour.
Nini
I think my notes say “it's two hours of a bunch of dudes vibing without vibes.”
Ben
Yeah, like, it wasn't great, and I don't really like coming for actors like that. But, Dunk is still uncomfortable with on-screen intimacy—or at least it feels like he is—particularly compared to Joong, who does not suffer from being camera shy when it comes to this kind of work. And so while I've seen them in behind-the-scenes stuff, and their variety stuff, and Joong and Dunk are great bros, I'm still struggling with Dunk as a romantic lead because he doesn't kiss well.
Nini
New didn't even phone this in. Like, I think he sent an email? Maybe it was a snail mail. 
This was just—it was boring, which I think might be worse than bad? What do we even say about it? 
Ben
Nothing! There is nothing to say! Like, Pawin was there. He didn't kiss anybody. [laughs]
Nini
I mean… that's really all that you can say about it. It was a waste of Pawin, like.
Probably the only thing that I enjoyed about this was Joong's several pissy faces when Khabkluen is salty because all his straight friends keep interrupting his gay couple time to hang out when all he wants to do is make out. And, like, the pissy faces that he makes are delightful, and they're the only reason this has a score. 
I give it a drama score of 3, because what was it even about? And I gave it a crack score of 4, and all four of those points are for Joong's pissy faces which I thoroughly enjoyed. So, It was a 3.5 for me not because it was bad but because it was boring.
Ben
I think a show has to be offensive to me in some way for me to go lower than 6 and Star in My Mind is not. It's just boring and because I've been in these gay streets a long time, I've been offended. A lot. And, I will accept boring. It's a 6. It's forgettable. We don't have to talk about it anymore.
Nini
And we will not.
Ben
[laughs]
19:20 - Never Let Me Go
Nini
We're going to move on to the actual fun and interesting ones now. [laughs] There's a definite quality bar in Our Skyy 2. There are Vice Versa and Star in My Mind, which are below the quality bar. And then there's everything else, which is above the quality bar. Now, we're talking about games of inches here. 
Never Let Me Go. So, the Never Let Me Go fanfic trope for Our Skyy was they did a time travel story that was also a—.
Ben
Fated mates.
Nini
—that was also a fated mates, and also a role reversal, and also like a body hopping. Like, there were—there was a lot going on here. It was not boring. Everybody was clearly having a fabulous time making this. And, I actually really enjoyed it. It was two episodes. I could have watched maybe four to six episodes of this no problem.
This was actually incredibly interesting. It was a lot of fun. Pawin, and Pond especially, clearly had a great time. 
Ben
That's true.
[both laugh]
Nini
Pond had a fabulous time. So, the plot of the Never Let Me Go special… You go ahead.
Ben
All right. So, it's been a couple of years since we left the boys in Never Let Me Go, and Nuengdiao has been studying elsewhere. He's coming back to Thailand, and Palm has quietly been setting up shop in Bangkok so that when Nuengdiao comes back to Thailand he can be closer to him. He doesn't want to just stay out by the beach because he wants to see his boyfriend more. 
[Cat begins wailing in the hallway near Ben’s mic]
Nuengdiao was a little bit caught off guard by this, and didn't like him making decisions for them. They run into a fortune teller who tells them that if they don't fix what was originally broken, they won't make it in this life, either. And then the fantasy hijinks kick in, where they are sent back in time to their original pairing… into the bodies of their past selves. And in their past—in their first past together where they become a couple—Palm is the rich lord, and Nuengdiao is essentially sold to him as a slave. Also, Pawin is there in an earlier version of his character. 
And so they have to play their roles. Palm is having way too much fun bossing Nuengdiao around. And also just trying to have sex with him in the past. Over the course of this they end up realizing that they have to help Pawin’'s character hook up with Mark Pahun's character, and so all of the girlies who've been waiting for that ship to reunite were fed. 
Nini is correct. Like, this ended up being really fun, because we got to see Palm and Nuengdiao kind of become like the gays who have it together for other gays.
Nini
It had that crack story but there was also another story going on alongside the crack which I really enjoyed—building on Nungdiao and Palm's actual OG series story—which is that Nuengdiao believes that Palm should make his life about himself, that he should make his decisions about the things that he wants to do without considering Neung. And that they can still be together but Palm shouldn't plan his life around him. When he comes back to Bangkok, it's to tell Palm essentially that he's decided that he's gonna stay away for a longer period of time. He's gonna do graduate school as well. 
And, this is actually a conflict between them that sort of leads into the whole time travel thing, but it's actually a really interesting conflict between them because it builds on their series story in a really interesting way. I enjoyed watching them navigate it and figure it out while they were also navigating and figuring out how the hell to get out of the past. I mean the internal logic of the story just about holds together. It's fun. It's enjoyable. It's emotional. 
Ben
If he looks at you for seven seconds he's into you and we're all like rooting for this under an umbrella.
Nini
It's fun. It's cute. It's got a little bit of a message to it. It's enjoyable. The characters feel like themselves. At one point we get a little montage of smash cuts of Nueng and Palm: they alternate crying over each other's dead bodies through the ages.
Ben
One of them definitely felt like a nod to Aof’s work where Jojo was poking fun at him.
Nini
They were actually dressed like Jim and Wen in Moonlight Chicken complete with Phuwin wearing sunglasses, his corpse wearing sunglasses at night when he's dead and Pond crying over him. It was really funny. It was delightful. That little smash cut montage was really fun and actually upped the crack score a little. Time travel is crack, no way about it. I was fully going to give it a good crack score anyway. But that little sequence upped the crack score by at least a point. It was just very funny. 
And then watching Pawin overexaggerate his “khrub’s” and fall in love with Mark Pahun's character, who's like a jewelry seller at the market. And then when they come back to the present and he's Phum again, they meet Phum at the house—which has been maintained—the lord's house has been maintained throughout the ages.
Ben
Because it had been passed down to his ancestors’ family now because they were all, like, gay besties together.
Nini
Yeah, and like, Phum and Mark Pahun's character are together in this life, too—and they're really cute—and Phum's like, “Yeah, I was a shit to you in high school. I'm sorry about that.” [laughs] It was nice. It was fun. It was enjoyable. I gave it a drama score of 7.5—I think that's reasonable for it. I gave it a crack score of 8.5 so it works out to an 8 for me, which I liked. I liked it.
Ben
I really liked a lot of this. I liked how much fun Phuwin and Pond had in the traditional garb that they were wearing. I like how much fun they had with how often they had to be shirtless. I really enjoyed them writing vows to each other in the past because they didn't know if they would be able to escape. Basically fully committed to each other. That was really beautiful, and not something I expected from Jojo. I was really surprised that Jojo did something that genuinely tender. That really worked for me.
I gave it an 8. It's one of those 8’s where it's, like, if you liked Never Let Me Go, this is going to make it feel a little bit better because the idea that the drama of Never Let Me Go is yet another instance of these two characters trying to be with each other across space and time is super romantic—and that's the kind of shit I love in my big dramas. And I was not expecting this particular show to make me go, “Wow,” [sighs] and look back at the, the original show and go, “Okay. I can see that.”
It was deeply enjoyable. If you liked Never Let Me Go enough, and you feel mildly dissatisfied by it, and you just kind of want some closure to walk away from, watch the special. I felt very good about Palm and Nuengdaio by the end of that, because they felt a little bit more grown. And I kind of like where they left the characters with Palm just being like, “Whatever, I have a rich boyfriend and I've worked very hard. I'm just gonna go hang out with you in Germany for a little while, and then we'll figure it out from there.” And I'm like, more power to you, bro.
Nini
It seemed like yes that they were just going to vibe and enjoy each other, And, after everything that those two went through? Sure! That seems like a great place to leave them. 
28:00 - A Boss and a Babe
Nini
Also in the, for me, 8 category—so there is a tie here—A Boss and a Babe. This kind of…surprised me, because I ended up, with the OG show, being really disappointed by where we landed with it. But I really liked the Our Skyy.
Ben
This is a little bit weird because I think in terms of whenever the rest of you hear this. We're actually, I think releasing this before the episode where we talk about A Boss and a Babe. So, spoilers, a bit, for that particular episode, but, uh, we were…less than impressed with A Boss and a Babe. 
Nini
For sure.
Ben
However, we actually had a decent time with their Our Skyy outing. Nini why don't you walk us through the setup for this particular outing. 
Nini
So, the fanfic trope for the A Boss and a Babe outing of Our Skyy is, I guess, “walk a mile in my shoes” kind of thing? Gun and Cher are happy together. They're sweet loving boyfriends… but the office is in shambles. Because Gun is stressed out and he's stressing everybody at work out. And because Cher knows everybody at work because he used to work there, he has been hipped to the fact that his man is stressing everybody else. And so he goes on a mission to try to get his man to stop stressing everybody at work out. 
So, trying to make him understand that he needs to dial it the fuck back. And the way that he eventually comes up with after trying a few other ways, is that they are going to spend a day walking a mile in each other's shoes. So, he is going to spend a day being the boss, and Gun is going to spend a day being the intern so that Gun gets an idea of the stresses that his employees go through. And Cher is just like whatever I'll just be the boss, and Gun is like, “Oh, it's not as easy as you think.” 
And it actually turns out really fun and interesting to watch them do this. Of course it's a weird, horny sex thing because everything is a weird, horny sex thing with these two. But [laughs] it's, it's fun. It's light. It's interesting. It's…enjoyable. It's a strong conflict. It's a stronger conflict than we get in the actual OG series. It works. I think it's that because it's so short New doesn't really have time to fuck it up.
Ben
[laughs] So, like, I was frustrated because Gun’s being kind of a difficult boss, but being fairly reasonable about why he's a difficult boss. He's like, “We work in a difficult industry where we spend a great deal of time working on something, and then we release it to the public, and then it can flop. And so I have been funding people's jobs for anywhere from two to 12 months working on a project, and we really need strong turnaround for this because these people's jobs are riding on the success of this. So they do need to take their jobs seriously, and when they are given feedback or are given specific directives, they need to accomplish those directives.” 
There's like really interesting tension there between, like, the boss's perspective of, “Y'all can be mad at me, but you want me to cut your checks, right?” versus, “Bro, we are not going to work well under these fucking conditions.” Like, that tension was delivered really well! Gun's perspective comes through in a way that doesn't feel pandering to anyone, and I was like he is a little bit off base in the way he talks to people, but the things he's concerned about are valid for where he sits.
It just pissed me off low-key because, like, we never figured out what Thyme’s whole deal was in the original show. Like, his friend who used to be part of the company. And it feels like that was his job here—was to be like the bridge between Gun and the team. To translate Gun’s directives and frustrations into directives for the team so they could accomplish them and to keep the team motivated. And, like, Cher was helping with that for a while but now that Cher is, like, doing other stuff, like, that has gone away. That's the biggest thing with this one. Like, this was such a solid concept that it made me even more annoyed at how the OG show just sort of fumbled every thread that they were holding.
Nini
Yeah, I have to agree. Like, the workplace conflict on this was really strong and solid, and the workplace stuff in the OG show was kind of weak. And part of the workplace stuff that was great in this was showing that, yeah, Gun does need a balancing force at work. But also, aside from that, surprisingly, Cher is not an idiot. [laughs] Like, Cher is actually pretty competent. He's not, like, ready, clearly, to be the boss of a place like this. But he's not an idiot. 
Like, one of the things that happens is that Gun tries to set him up a little bit by having, like, a client come in and try to, like, have a discussion and talk to him about, like, partnering on a game or something and like talking about ideas and all that kind of stuff. And at first you think that Cher is going to blow it. But then he delivers. He comes into the meeting. You know, he takes a minute to get his bearings and understand what's going on, but then he has actual good ideas? And he can speak to the people in a way that works for the business. 
So, it shows they could probably at some point in the future after Cher has learned more, they could probably run the business together. Because I think that they bring the different perspectives that's required, but, just like Ben said, that also makes me, like, really mad that we didn't get more of the Thyme stuff in the OG series because, to me, that feels like this was what Thyme’s role was. And that just completely got cast aside. So, on the one hand, I thought this was actually pretty good but, on the other hand, it made me think even less of the OG series and I was already struggling with the OG series.
Ben
[sighs] And that's where we are. It sucks because, like, again, like, Force and Book are good. And the cast of this particular show? Very good. They hold together an otherwise weak show but, man, you just really want to see what that cast looks like when they have a really good show under their belt.
Nini
Yeah, and this gives you, like, a kind of an ‘in’ to that. So my score: this was drama score of 8 because I thought it was a solid conflict. Well executed. I give it a crack score of 8 because, quite honestly, once the whole role reversal thing started. Like, if I worked for Gun’s company, I would have taken, like, vacation until that was over because it was just…It was a little too “bring your kinks to work” for me personally. 
[both laugh]
I would have been like, yeah I don't need to see this. I'm gonna take a day off, and tomorrow when I come back, hopefully everything will be normal. Combined like drama score 8 crack score 8 average 8. What did you give it? 
Ben
I gave it an 8, and we were joking with some of our other friends about how most of us gave it an 8, and I think it was ginnymoonbeam who was like, “We all gave it an 8, but these are all very different 8s.”
[both laugh]
Nini
Yes, that is definitely true. These are different 8s that we are giving it. My 8 is like, “Damn it. Now I got to go back and revise my score of the OG series and put it even lower.”
36:45 - The Eclipse
Nini
Moving along from the 8s and now we're starting to get into the top of tops. The top top top tops of the Our Skyy pantheon for me. And next up is The Eclipse. Ben, I'm [gonna] need you to give the people what we're talking about here.
Ben
The Eclipse picks up, it feels like, the summer after the boys have graduated from high school. So, they're away from Suppalo—we're not going to deal with any of the Suppalo nonsense anymore. It's just the two couples, Wat, and…Pawin's character for some reason, because he's always palling around them. They're getting together to help Wat shoot for a film project that he wants to submit to a competition. But we pick up, originally, with Akk and Ayan who were doing boyfriend things, and we are seeing the ongoing deprogramming of Akk continuing. And over the course of the filming for this, we see that Akk and Ayan are basically stand-ins for Golf's very complex ideas about the way our private and public lives inform each other, and how both are inherently political. 
Akk and Ayan over the course of this are having a struggle about whether or not they should care what other people think. Akk thinks that to be part of a civil society you do have to care about how your actions and behaviors impact other people. Ayan, who has seen what a civil society does to people, thinks that that is bullshit and that he should be more concerned about himself and the people he cares about, and not the nebulous feelings of others. And then calls Akk directly out at one point about how his concern for others turned him into the worst version of a cop possible.
And it gets really ugly when they're working on Wat’s film project. These two are having a truly fundamental struggle about whether or not the two of them are even compatible because they do not see eye-to-eye politically. You get the sense that Ayan hoped that, once freed from the Suppalo prefect thing, Akk would start to see things more his way. And Akk hoped that Ayan would stop fighting with him so much, because Akk really just wants to do soft, cuddly things with his boyfriend. But Ayan gets off on fighting with Akk. [laughs] So he is always antagonizing him for sex reasons. 
Nini
It's one of those early relationship conflicts when you're still figuring out how to be with each other. When you're dating at the beginning, you put your best foot forward. In this case, with the two of them, they put their absolute worst foot forward when they were getting together. But there's still that thing about the version of you when you're courting is…different, somewhat, than the version of you when you're not courting. For them, the issue is the version of them when they were courting was exactly who they are, but they didn't think that that was who they were. 
So, like you said, Ayan really thought that out of the pressure cooker of Suppalo, Akk would be a different person, and then he's, like, coming to realize: No, this is really just who he is. And Akk is having that same realization about Ayan. They have to decide essentially—and they do decide via Wat's film—whether what they are to each other is worth bridging that gap between them. The answer that they come to is: yes it is—in a really phenomenal scene that I enjoyed so much.
Ben
Let me tell you. First and Khaotung are just really, really good together. Like, it's amazing how they can play these two characters coming to a precipice of fundamental political disagreement to the point that they looked at each other and they're like, “Is this really who I'm going to be with?” And you can see this almost weird resignation as they turn to face each other and embrace, where there are no easy answers to this. 
They don't see eye to eye politically on a lot of really fundamental things, and yet they still want to choose each other each time. And that is delivered so well. Like, it's hard to watch The Eclipse with your brain off. I watched a lot of people try to do it during the original show and they struggled, because it is not a brains-off show. Golf has a lot to say about the state of their country and is using whatever platform they have to voice some of these ideas, most notably about how sitting on your phone writing mean tweets is not action. That you need to get into the work. That you have to get into the streets with other people. You have to participate in the work. Even if it's just in the support of getting the people who do do the work the tools and food they need to do the work. 
And it's really fascinating that even in this little two-part special, which as far as some people thought, was just First and Khaotung making out for two hours because these boys kissed a lot in this special, they managed to say a lot. Golf managed to express their deep love of Thai cinema with the references that Wat was playing out. 
It also managed to get across how much these two boys really like each other, and it was kind of fun to see Akk and Kan working their way out of their internalized homophobia. Like it was not surprising to me that Akk and Kan wanted to do a lot of touching with their boyfriends. 
Nini
I really liked how it all came together: how Golf used their love of not just Thai cinema but queer cinema to sort of pull the threads together of the fight that Akk and Ayan were having. The petty fight and the serious fight, because they were having a fight on two levels. They were having a petty fight about—well, maybe not petty—but they were having a surface level fight about Ayan   paying attention to Akk and being lovey-dovey and soft with him, versus Ayan wanting Akk to be tougher with him because that's what he likes. And then that going to the deep level of the political, and then, on top of that, that being pulled together by the concept of film. And then even throwing in for us a little side story about Wat and what film means to him, and how he's not necessarily supported by his family—but he kind of is a little bit but mostly not—and how he has things to say and he feels strongly about those things
Like, they managed to do a lot with very little in this special and I really, really enjoyed it. It was very deep for what it was. Very thinkable piece. I really liked it. And then on top of that, they also get to have a little bit of coming-of-age nostalgia moments about leaving high school and moving into the real world. There's so much packed into those two hours. I was really impressed with how much they managed to get in there and have it feel organic.
Ben
I was incredibly impressed by this entire outing.
Nini
I liked the special on its own. I liked it in connection to the OG show. I liked it as a continuation of the OG show. I liked the things that it had to say and the way that it carried through its themes. I was impressed by how much it managed to fit in. I gave it a drama score of 9.5. I really thought it was very, very good.
Ben
But there was singing so she took half a point.
[both laugh]
Nini
I gave it a crack score of 8. The trope really was I guess “secret surprise” because the frame that this is all put in is Ayan preparing a surprise for Akk’s birthday, but it's a secret surprise where he's pretending that he doesn't remember and he's not going to celebrate Akk’s birthday, which is a little weird which is why I took the half point off really, because I hate that secret surprise trope.
Ben
It's one of those things where I don't really like it for Akk, but if fits with Ayan’s sort of, like…Ayan is the queer kid who reads too much theory. Like, he knows more than you. And so he doesn't always see you, specifically. Like, he outs Thua in the first show thinking he's helping him. Like, he kind of is but, like, he outs Thua and oversteps, and it's the same thing here with Akk. Like, he wants to surprise Akk. Like I don't think you should be surprising Akk, because so much of his Suppalo experience is about being guided by the things that are not being said that he's supposed to just interpret. 
If you're trying to deprogram him, you need to not do that to him. And the reason why, like I—I mostly let it go is because, as dense as Ayan can kind of be because he's too fucking smart for his own good, when Akk admitted in, like, the first fifteen minutes of the show that he hoped that they were gonna do cute boyfriend frolicking in the fields and taking pictures together, and Ayan was like, “Oh, I thought you were just kidding about that.”  
And Akk was like, “No! I was serious.” 
It's like, “All right? Well shit! Grab your camera!” And they frolicked! 
Nini
[laughs]
Ben
He gave his boyfriend the cute boyfriend shit he wanted to do, even if he teased him a little bit about it first.
Nini
I did like that too. I like that they don't have it together yet but they're willing to listen, and they're willing to do what it takes, I think. But, like I said, I'm knocking out a half a point for the secret surprise because I hate that trope. The crack score is an 8 because there's these set of dream sequences which are homages to Thai film and queer film, and I thought they were delightful. There's the Brokeback Mountain one and then there's the Golden Eagle one which is a Thai film then there's the Ong Bak one which is another Thai film and then there's another—
Ben
If you have not seen Ong Bak and you like action film, please go see Ong Bak. 
Nini
I have not watched Ong Bak. Of course, Ben has because he's a boy. 
Ben
I am a boy! Tony Jaa is amazing!
Nini
[laughs] I really liked that Golf gets to throw that in there as well. And it's fun. The Golden Eagle one especially is delightful. [laughs] It really is. So that's 9.5 and 8. Let's call that an 8.75. Ooh the maths is coming back! It's coming back! An 8.75 for The Eclipse.
Ben, what’d you give it?
Ben
I gave it a 9 because it's really coherent and that mattered a lot for me, because we had watched a lot of—I don't remember the exact order—but I remember just not being, like, necessarily, like, great at this point because a bunch of them were kind of…stuffed…or boring…and this wasn't. I was fully engaged the whole time, because Golf has such clear ideas in their work and they're all working together at various levels that they really wanted us to not miss.
49:50 - My School President
Nini
Moving on from The Eclipse onto the next rung on the ladder up: My School President. So the My School President fan fiction trope was AU, alternate universe, for all of the characters. I had a fucking blast with this. Ben, explain to the people what happened.
Ben
I'm gonna pre-react to the criticism, unfortunately.
My School President is a high school story about pursuing your long-term crush and the final year of your high school experience. There was no way My School President was going to get an epilogue story. So instead they flipped the seats of a bunch of the characters. 
So, in this version of the My School President story, Gun is the school president and Tinn is the member of the school band. This time named Lion instead of Chinzhilla. Instead of Tiwson being the school president's best friend, they keep Por, who is his bestie in this. Tiwson is a member of the band. Sound and Win switch positions in this, where Sound is the long-term member of the band. Win is the new hot boy who shows up who they recruit. They also decide to flip Yo and Pat in the story with each other, even though they're still both in the band. Gim becomes the principal, and Photjanee becomes the operator of the milk ice cream bar. 
And in the process of this, like, the same beats from the show. We still hit them, but they play out very differently because the core characterization of these couples don't shift. Which forces us to reckon with certain aspects of the characters that kind of get glossed over in the idealism of the original My School President run. For example, Tinn is so much braver than Gun. Gun is kind of a coward who is gripped by an intense sense of self-doubt, and it starts off almost immediately. Like there's some political commentary with the way Gun is selected as the school president. 250 votes were cast by parents to make Gun the president instead of going through the school voting process instead, which works as a quick shorthand for the show, but also works as a commentary on Thai parliamentary politics.
And so like he's not the school president because he wants to help Tinn. He's just sort of pushed into the position by his mom, and so the moments that they hit along the way, like the dancing together scene. That plays out differently because Gun backs off and ends up dancing with someone else. The whole Questions thing they did to get close to film the thing goes differently because Gun won't ask Tinn directly, but Tinn does ask him, but Gun backs down. 
It was interesting because, like, everyone still chose each other. But, like, in a weird way Tiwson and Por were the strong couple of this outing, anchoring for the rest of them. 
Like, in the original show Tinn and Gun are so obviously together that the force of their mutual attraction sort of just creates opportunity for the rest of these relationships to bubble up. This time around, Tiwson and Por are working together in the background to help Tinn and Gun get together because they want to come out as a couple. Which I thought was an interesting switch-up as well.
Nini
I really enjoyed that, despite shifting the characters around in terms of their positions and roles, that the cores of the characters remained exactly the same. And you see how the same people living a different life would become a different person. Like you talk about Gun being kind of a coward and he is kind of a coward even in the OG show. Tinn’s the brave one, and Tinn has to be the brave one because Gun's the one who's gonna back down. But also the Gun of the alternate universe—the multiverse of cuteness as it is called—the Gun of the alternate universe hasn't spent his whole life on stage being judged and knocked back. And developing that thick skin that he talks to Tinn about in the OG series, so he is much less resilient than the Gun of the OG series. And that makes a difference in how he navigates his crush on Tinn. 
Similarly to that, Tinn in the AU has not had the strictness of the OG Photjanee forced on him the whole time. The strictness and the straight lace-ness because things are a little looser for him. And so he feels more able to take the ball and run with it when he realizes how he feels. They redo the scene of them spending the night at the school and walking around, and this is where Tinn turns the Gun and is like, “Look, do you like me?” which is something Tinn wouldn't necessarily have asked in the OG series. 
But then Gun, faced with the opportunity to actually lock it down with his crush. He says no and he runs away which is not a thing that Tinn would have done. If Gun had ginned up the, the actual courage to ask Tinn if he liked him Tinn would have been like [inhales] taken a deep breath and been like, “Hell yell, let’s date.” It's really interesting watching how they take the same characters and, just by moving their positions in the story, they create a story that's different. 
Ben
And yet all the people still choose each other. They basically state the big idea at one point. The Gun character says maybe in another lifetime things would have gone better, and the Por and Tiwson of this universe slap that idea down and go, “Yeah, but you're not in those universes. You're in this one. Make the most of the life you have.” 
Nini
I really enjoyed this outing. I enjoyed what they took the opportunity of the Our Skyy special to say and to do. I agree with you. I don't think that an epilogue would have worked. My School President is so of its setting. I do not think that moving the boys into college and following them there—I don't feel like I would have been interested in seeing that because that's not the point of My School President.
My tagline for My School President was “perfect high school romance” and I think that's where it should stay.
Okay, so my drama score for My School President was 9.5, and I took off a half point because nobody made out. And, I'm sorry, I am shallow. I wanted somebody to kiss in this special. I didn't care who. Just somebody. So I took off half a point. But the crack score is a 10 because I mean it's an AU. There is nothing crackier than that, so that works out to what, like a 9.75? Yeah, I'm good with that.
Ben
So, I gave this one a 9 because it was a little heady and My School President is not a really heady show for me. But the whole AU concept was. Now, I liked it, but in terms of, like, recommending it to the people who liked My School President, it's kind of hard because they wanted more of what they loved in My School President and this is not exactly that? So, I gave it a 9. 
But I'm also with Nini, like nobody kissed in this one. And, again, young actors. I'm totally fine with them not kissing, but…their characters in the original show have really specific kisses, and, if they were more experienced and veteran actors, we would have gotten a different type of kiss from these characters because they are coming at each other very differently. And we don't get to offer that particular comparison here. So, minor knock for me as well.
Nini
We didn't even get to talk about the best part which was them doing a fake music video for a fake Aof song that incorporated Aof’s top three hits in the music videos, which are He’s Coming to Me, Bad Buddy, and A Tale of Thousand Stars. 
Ben
We didn't even talk about that.
Nini
Tiw and Por got to do A Tale of Thousand Stars. Sound and Win get to do Bad Buddy. And Gun and Tinn get to do He’s Coming to Me. So they, they paid homage to their granddaddy in "Aof" Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon. Three of the greatest GMMTV BLs, and also the ones that sort of set the stage for My School President.
1:00:24 - Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars
Nini
Onto the main event, and the main event of Our Skyy 2 was "Aof" Noppharnach giving the finger to GMMTV and saying, “Fuck you, I get four episodes to talk about what I want. And what I want to talk about is queer elders coming to terms with themselves, and I'm going to use anybody I want to talk about that.” AKA the Bad Buddy - A Tale of Thousand Stars crossover event. 
Ben, break it down for the people.
Ben
Whereas every other one of these projects except for My School President was in many ways an epilogue this is a mixture of…it's an epilogue or a post-show story for Tian and Phupha, but for Pran and Pat it's set between Bad Buddy episode 11 and Bad Buddy episode 12. It's the senior year for Pat and Pran. They are still closeted and having to keep up the architecture-engineering rivalry, though it looks like they've tried to smooth things over over the years because most of the beef is about who's bringing…brooms to…the charity project now. [laughs] But they're having some consternation because both groups need to put on a play as part of their class president activities, and after the normal Bad Buddy hijinks kick in, Pran reveals that he wants to adapt Tian's diary A Tale of Thousand Stars into a play for the architecture school.
And once they decide to follow this route, their teacher says that, because they don't have permission from the people whose story this actually is, they need to go find them and get said permission. Pran decides that they're going to go to Pha Pun Dao to talk to them directly, tell them how important it is that they want to tell this particular story. 
Before they can leave, Pat is forced to hang out with his engineering buddies and, because he has to pretend like he doesn't like Pran, he says something akin to, “That Pran guy. He'd be useless without me. I'm always having to help him.” Pran felt some kind of way about that and decided to leave Pat behind and go to Pha Pun Dao himself—much to his own chagrin—because he loves that boy, and got so nervous when he was walking around by himself without Pat. 
And over the course of these four episodes, Pat and Pran learn a little bit more about themselves and their dynamic—but mostly they really help Tian and Phupha work past some really fundamental struggles that they were having as a couple that Pat and Pran realized that they had moved past a long time ago. 
This crossover really elevates both works because Aof is obsessed with the idea that queer people make each other better and, by the end of this, we as a fandom seem rather split about it because those of us who liked both A Tale of Thousand Stars and Bad Buddy were able to appreciate how both stories impact each other. But, it seems like if you were really only into one of those stories, you resented the crossover in one way or another.
Nini
I think that's one reaction to it, but, I mean, we've seen among the clowns even people who were really into Bad Buddy but not so into A Tale of Thousand Stars really coming around on Tian and Phupha by the end of the special. I don't think we have like a Vice Versa situation in that, and we can discuss all the reasons that might be, but I think that definitely the crossover has made people who maybe didn't appreciate A Tale of Thousand Stars as much really appreciate A Tale of Thousand Stars and Tian and Phupha more now.
Ben
So where do you want to pick up with the beginning of this discussion? 
Nini
I think I want to start with the idea one of our fellow clowns first espoused, and really sort of set me off on this thought process, that this special—this whole crossover—is all about Phupha. Because, of all four characters in the OG shows, the only character who didn't really get an arc  was Phupha—this is Phupha’s arc. How do you feel about that as an idea—as a concept?
Ben
Since we're gonna start here, I'm gonna come out swinging.
Nini
Do it.
Ben
If you hate that Phupha is the focus character of this particular special, I need you to examine whether or not you actually care about gay men.
Phupha is a poor, hyper-masculine, closeted gay man, who's older than the other characters. He's about 35 at this point. There are so many queer people out there that you're never going to know about because they cannot live their lives loudly. 
We're recording in June right now. Pride month. Phupha’s not gonna show up at Bangkok Pride because 1) he's not coming to Bangkok, and 2) that's just not the place where he feels safe. It's not the place where he feels seen. It's not where all of the quiet gays are gonna go, or where the gays who have to be closeted for one reason or another are going to be. And it's easy to forget them because they're boring or they're less fun. 
I like that the story ends up being about: “How do we help Phupha break out of his own shell a little bit and let Tian love him just a little bit more?”
Nini
Phupha is this sort of stoic, very stern, character. I mean they lampooned that a little bit in the OG series for A Tale of Thousand Stars, and they lampoon him a little bit in the beginning of the crossover here, deflating him a little bit—kind of puncturing the whole stoic seme thing. But this is kind of who he is. 
This is, as you say, he's older. He's got real responsibilities. He's got a community to protect. He's…got people that he cares about that he needs to take care of. He is not the kind of guy who is going to, like you say, go to Bangkok Pride. He is the kind of guy who maybe has some internalized homophobia that he's dealing with—definitely has some internalized homophobia that he's dealing with. He is that guy who is trying to do the right thing all the time. And so often the right thing means him subsuming his actual desires in some kind of idea of him denying himself being what's best for the community.
And one of the things that the crossover brings forward, particularly in the person of Pat, who is diametrically opposed to the idea of subsuming himself for anybody. He only does it for Pran, and only, like, grudgingly. But, to put somebody like Pat, who is just loud and proud and just completely does not care about any ideas of masculinity or propriety or anything like that, and put that character in conversation of any kind with Phupha. It's so delightful to watch that happen because, of course, Pat immediately gloms onto him. He follows him around like a duckling—he imprints on him. 
He's like, “Oh, yes, Stern Daddy. I really, really like this vibe that you're givin’ off here. I'm just going to follow you around and bother the fuck out of you.” 
I think it was wen-kexing-apologist who said that Pat's entire job in the special is to terrorize the local elder gay. I Love it.
Ben
Pat and Pran. They both looked at Phupha, looked at each other, and then both said at the same time ‘WOULD.’ 
[both laugh]
Nini
I did see that. That was funny because it's true. They hang a lampshade on it at two points 1) when Pran runs into Phupha for the first time—him really having, like, a gay boy moment. [laughs] Like, the whole, like, slow-motion, turn-around, like, gasping gay boy moment.
Ben
He's read the, the diary and he's like “I get it.” Immediately!
[both laugh]
Nini
And then, to have Pat's moment come, where—because Pat's flirtation language is competition. So, of course he basically challenges Phupha to a duel in the form of a drinking contest. And then they wake up shirtless next to each other and think that they might have maybe…done something— 
Ben
They definitely did some stuff.
Nini
They made out. Just a little bit. They kissed a little bit. 
But I—I loved that! I loved that they were both really into him. Like it was clear that they were both attracted to him. It was very gay and very fun. But also they're just like, “No, I get it.” They—they both looked and they were just like, “Tian, I get you. I understand why you live in this village with [both laugh] no running water, and you have to sleep under a mosquito net every night. I get you! I understand you because, for this man, I would do these things.” Like, they get it.
It's kind of delightful.
Ben
I like how, when Pran first gets to the village, and Phupha passes out, Tian runs up and Pran’s like ‘who are you’ and Tian's like, “No. Who the fuck are you?”
[Nini laughs]
Ben
And, like, if Tian had been allowed to have a knife…
Nini
Pran would have been stopped at that point—fully stabbed. “Like, who the fuck are you and why are you talking to my man?” [laughs] Like, Tian lives in the village because he doesn't want anybody else to see Phupha. 
[both laugh]
Nini
Because he knows the minute any of these whores take a look at his man, if it's going to be a problem. 
Ben
In terms of the serious stuff. So, they've shown up to convince them to sign these papers. Going into this Pat and Pran are fighting a little bit because Pran feels guilty, and part of this journey for him was maybe seeing, like, if he actually needed Pat as much as he does. And he learns very quickly that he is not at his best without Pat. 
It's funny because Pat always knew this. Pat seemed to know already. Like, he says it in like episode 5 of Bad Buddy that he was not at his best when Pran was gone. 
But Pran wants to prove he doesn't need Pat's help, and when Pran shows up to try and convince him to sign Tian's like, “Fuck yeah! I wrote the diary so people would…maybe want to become teachers and appreciate what I have out here. Absolutely!” Phupha's like, “No, y'all not going to present me as some lovesick fool on your little stage.” 
And then Pran tries to talk to Phupha a couple of times and fails massively at it. Tries to lie to Phupha. And then Pat blocks the shit out of that by calling out the bullshit right away, because he's pissed at Pran for running off without him. So he's sabotaging some of Pran's efforts. And it isn't until the two of them start working together that they actually start making any fucking progress because…that's who they are.
Nini
But I think there's also, like, a really valid point to the fact that Pran—he tries to talk to Phupha about it at first and Phupha is not having it. You're right. But one of the reasons that Phupha is not having it is because he's looking at these kids and he's thinking, “These kids do not understand me. These kids have no idea of what my life is like. These kids have no idea of what our lives are like. These kids have never faced any kind of serious challenge. These are two dumb kids. I'm not gonna give them time of day. They don't get to tell my story.” 
And then, by the end, the thing that actually gets Phupha to agree to let them tell his story…is Pran actually dropping the bullshit—as you said—and saying to him, “You think I don't know what it's like to feel insecure? You think I don't know what it's like to feel like my partner deserves better than me? You think I don't know what that feels like? Oh, believe you me, I know what that feels like.” 
And, because at this point Phupha has spent an enormous amount of time with Pat, he's like,
“Okay, yeah, maybe you do understand what I'm going through.” 
And the way that that works out in the end—and I mean we're kind of skipping back and forth through the story at this point—but the way that that works out at the end is Phupha saying, “Okay, you get to tell my story, but you have to tell my story because you understand me.” His condition for signing off on them doing the play is that they play the roles of him and Tian, because they understand him. I thought that was really—a really great way to follow that thread through the story. I really enjoyed that part.
Ben
I like the subtle way Aof played with our expectations about who would identify with who. Like, they made Tian and Pran resemble each other. Tian was like, “Fuck this twink,” right away as soon as Pran showed up. 
[Nini laughs]
But then, like, Pran helps him. Pran helps him in the class and Tian softens very quickly to Pran. 
Because of how physically macho Pat is—like, there's this expectation that he and Phupha are gonna be super similar to each other—and there's an interesting subtle commentary that Aof does there in that it's the more creative one, who's way too close to his mom, who's more like the hyper-masculine dude, because both of them are masking in their lives. 
Like, Phupha is hyper-masculine because that's what's expected of him. And like people pick at Phupha about this a little bit, but he is trying to live up to the role that he is told he's supposed to fulfill. And Pran also suffers under the expectations of who his mom expects him to be, and it's interesting for me that Aof, over the course of these three episodes when they're all together, Aof says Pran and Phupha have more in common because they are carrying so much homophobia on their shoulders, and that's why the two of them probably understand each other best.
Nini
Using the yaoi tropes again, a talk about who is the seme and who's the uke in the story in terms of who's the pursuer and who's the pursued, and…if you look at it, like, then you can clearly see that it's Tian and Pat who are aligned because Pat pursued Pran and Tian pursued Phupha. They are the semes even though it seems that Tian would be an uke. He's not. He actually pursued Phupha. 
So in the narrative sense. He's the seme. It's just very fun, this playing with the idea of what is a seme and what is an uke. And, again to use the yaoi terms—which you know I don't like to use ‘cause I don't really know the yaoi or rock with the yaoi. But, that idea of who is…pursuing the relationship, leading the relationship—like that's Tian and that's Pat. 
And in terms of who is being pulled along by their partner in a kind of a way that's Phupha and that’s Pran. So, I do like how Aof leans into this…because again, it subverts expectations in a particular kind of way. But also it makes so much sense. 
Ben
There's two subtle things that I really want to point out, and I want to talk about them a little.
First, Pat and Pran use titles for Tian and Phupha the whole time. And the other thing is about how nobody really knows anything about anybody in this. So, like, we're gonna call them Tian and Phupha, Pat and Pran, because we're inside of these people's stories with them. But it's interesting to me that Pran and Pat never cross a familiarity line with Tian and Phupha in the brief time they're with them. They refer to them as Teacher and Chief only the entire time.
Nini
I like that because it's a nod to their roles as adults because Pat and Pran are still kids. They're still college students, and Tian and Phupha are adults to them. But, in some ways, Pat and Pran have progressed much further in their relationship than Tian and Phupha have because they've been through more—just from the nature of their whole history. And they've crossed barriers and boundaries and, and parts of their relationship that Tian and Phupha are just confronting or haven't even confronted yet. And I liked that. 
I liked, also, that interplay of the younger ones being the ones to teach the older ones something. I really like that because I feel like that's what's happening now not just in—not just in queer circles—because that's definitely happening in queer circles. But also just in terms of generalization. Like, if you're not a complete douche and you're our age—well I say our age. I'm about 10 years older than Ben. Not ten, but…when you've crossed a certain Rubicon in the adulting game. Let's put it that way.
Right now. The kids are teaching us like a whole bunch of stuff as long as you're not a dick, like, and you remain open, the kids can teach you all kinds of shit that you never thought was possible to learn about yourself at this stage in your life. And I really like that Aof played with that because Aof’s about my age, and I like that he is the kind of person who understands that the young uns have things to teach us as well. Like, we have things to teach them—clearly and obviously—and we want to make a better world for them—clearly and obviously. But also, there's so much shit that we can learn from them when it comes to just fucking unclenching, because that's what happens here! Like, all of this is in service of Phupha just fucking unclenching. 
Ben
And this is what I mean about having other queer people, like it isn't just about your boyfriend. You need queer friends. Like, Tian blossoms almost immediately when he realizes that Pat and Pran are a couple—that they're not just friends. As soon as Pat flirts with him a little bit at breakfast and Pran shoves a spoon into his mouth, you can see Tian instantly relaxes and it's like, “Okay” and is more receptive to what these two are here for. And for Phupha. Like, yeah, it's one thing to just be into Tian and that be a thing, but to have someone like Pat roaming around actively flirting with him all the time, that also forced Phupha to reckon with who he is. 
And it's funny, because, like, Pat and Pran are actually closeted. They basically, like, admit it to Tian and Phupha as a sort of a de facto thing. But, like, the two of them are away from the world where they have to hide. So they're on top of each other. They're constantly touching each other. They're flirting constantly…
Nini
They're fucking in the tent twenty feet away from them. [laughs]
Ben
We'll get there in a second. We’ll be there in a second. [Nini laughs] But they're so obviously obsessed with each other. And like Nini said, like during the rescue bit, Kampung is not in the tent with them where he's supposed to be. And so the boys are like, “Oh, I guess the kid decided to go stay with Phupha and Tian. Great! My foot is hurting me because I twisted my ankle, but let's get it in!” And then in the morning Pat limps to breakfast asking, “What's my score for last night?”
Nini
I love that they just fuck their way through all their problems. It's delightful. I enjoy it.
Ben
One of the sad things with Tian and Phupha is…they have to keep waiting for the other person to be asleep to be affectionate with them, and that's one of the big things that I'm really glad that they start to work through towards the end of this. Like, I'm really proud of Phupha for listening to the man who he loves, and the person who is inspired by the man who he loves. 
Like, it’s so fascinating. Like—like Pran ran on this whole trip thinking he was Tian, met Phupha, realized he was Phupha, and was able to reach across that gap and say, “Please trust me. We got you.” And Phupha said, “Okay.” 
There's a lot of consternation in the fandom right now about taking score between Pat and Pran about who sacrifices more, or what should or shouldn't be said. I'm not particularly interested in that particular conversation. Pat and Pran love each other. They're adults. They've committed to each other. Sometimes you're gonna be with other gays and you're not going to understand how they work, and you just have to accept that their dynamic is their dynamic. It's not about who wins. It's about who cares for you—and they clearly care for each other.
Nini
I think part of what it is, as well, is—it sounds bad, but go with me on this right? I am a great proponent of therapy. I believe in it. I am in therapy. I have been in therapy for years. I recommend therapy to everybody. But there is a certain level of therapized that I think is not necessarily good for us…And that is as somebody who believes in the power of therapy to change and save lives. I think that this idea that everything is pathologized, that you always have to be on the lookout because somebody's trying to get you in some kind of way—I think that it can be harmful to relationships and to our understanding of relationships in certain ways, because not everything that is unbalanced or imbalanced is harmful. 
And I think that one of the problems that I'm having with…not so much the show, but the fandom reaction to it is…that yes, Pat and Pran’s relationship looks unbalanced from the outside. It probably is unbalanced in certain ways. But that doesn't mean that it's harmful. But there's this idea that because of—again this is a, a therapized lens that unbalanced equals harmful, and I don't think that's necessarily the case. 
One of the things that I really don't grok onto and, to be fair…I am very…I am a Bad Buddy fun. I am a Pat and Pran fan. I am a fan of the characters separately and together. And one of the things that…I am really personally sticky and icky about is this idea in certain parts…that Pat and Pran do not love each other equally, or Pran does not love Pat enough, or Pat loves Pran more—all these ideas of particular kind of imbalances between them. And my whole thing is—Who are they and what do they need and what do they want from each other? What does Pat actually need from Pran? Is he getting it? He absolutely is.
So this idea of keeping score between the characters—or keeping score in relationships in general if you, if you broaden out to the idea of relationships—I feel like it doesn't serve. I feel like it's…reductive. And I feel like looking at these characters through that lens is not the way that Aof is portraying these characters, or wants the audience to look at these characters. Because I think that Aof is a person who is…very tuned into certain ideas that he wants to portray—certain things that he wants to portray about queerness and queer community and queer relationships—and…I think that to reduce probably the greatest queer relationship that he has put on screen in Pat and Pran to score keeping, when score keeping is a part of their history that they have deliberately stepped away from because they were forced into it. I feel like it misunderstands what he's trying to do and say with these characters…
And that's just my opinion, and I will admit a hundred percent that I am very precious about these two particular characters. I'm very precious about a lot of Aof characters because I feel that Aof writes characters in a way that I understand them intrinsically. But these two characters in particular I feel very precious about. And, I feel like to see them like that in the context of somehow keeping score between them is to not see them at all.
Ben
Pat only cares about one score and he asks Pran for it directly every morning.
Nini
And that's a fact. [laughs]
Ben
And that's the big thing for me! Like, they were kind of having a fight and most of it was Pran’s insecurity because Pran is a little bit embarrassed about what he's asked Pat to do for him. And they get over that almost immediately. They get to Pha Pun Dao. They see Tian and Phupha and they're like, “Oh, man. These guys are older than us, but they're like…four episodes behind us. [laughs] So, we got to catch these gays up quick!” And they—they instantly get over whatever their beef is and they start playing out their kinks the way they always do. They start cosplaying as Tian and Phupha…and flirting with each other.
Nini
And they do in the end have a little bit of a resolution to their…really not much of a fight, fight. And, there's two resolutions, really. 
The first resolution is the resolution they get in Pha Pun Dao which is, “Look, I can't fucking live without you, and you can't fucking live without me, and we agree on that. So, let's dead the shit.” And they did! And it was fine, because the shit was never really live in terms of a fight being live in the first place. They were fucking their way through that whole fight…and that's how they deal with things, and it works for them, and it's fine. 
And then they get a second resolution that Phupha gives them—a gift—which is, “I get to be in the open with you, even if it's just on stage. I get to be a lover in public.” And it works for me.
Ben
They even tried to redeem Wai a little bit.
Nini
It's still fuck Wai forever in these parts.
Ben
[laughs] He doesn't drop the curtain this time. Instead, he's like, “Give the people the kiss they need!”
Nini
It's still fuck Wai forever in these parts. [laughs]
Ben
And it's interesting, too, in terms of that particular gift. It works out in a couple of ways because Phupha gets to see a bunch of people react to their story. People are loving it. Lesbians are crying over them. One of the lesbians is moaning, “Why don't they just fuck already!” 
[both laugh]
Ben
He gets to see people love them through this play, and then this gives Pran something that he's wanted: Pran his on socials after the play seeing people making fanvids about him and Pat. Which is something that he wants. He wants to be in the open with Pat because he knows that's what Pat wants, and this is the closest they're gonna get for now. And he is relieved to just see that. 
But again, Pat is not worried about that. He's like, “Oh good, good. Did you get what you want?” and he's like, “All right. Let's stop fucking around with all this other stuff. Can we kiss as ourselves now?” 
And they do!
Nini
We've talked a lot about Pat and Pran here and we've kind of scratched the surface on Tian and Phupha. But I really want to get into Phupha because the main thing that the special is doing is unlocking Phupha for the audience, because—like I said—all the other characters have had their arcs in the OG series that we're looking at. Only Phupha has really been holding the line, so to speak. 
And this is Phupha's unveiling. It's his opening. This is Phupha getting harassed by a baby gay. Terrorized, actually, by a baby gay. Realizing that, “Oh my god. The baby gays came to town, and they fucked in a tent twenty feet away from us, and the world didn't fucking end. So maybe…I, too, can fuck my man and the world won’t end.” 
[both laugh]
And then he proceeds to do just that.
Ben
I really like the way Aof went about doing it. Phupha primps himself up, rents an expensive vehicle, picks up Tian, and then goes with Tian to a cute cafe and lets Tian show him off a little bit, even if it made him a little bit nervous to be fawned over.
Nini
He let Tian, like, dress him up! Like, he let Tian take him shopping! He let Tian babygirl him a little bit. He let Tian spend a little money! It was nice!
Ben
That felt like a big deal because he mentioned it. He's like the money on one of these dishes could feed the village for a week in Pha Pun Dao, but he lets it go. Tian is actually a rich kid. This is part of what Phupha knows Tian gave up to be with him and so, when they're in Bangkok, he relents. He lets Tian dress him up like a Ken until Tian is satisfied with the look. And unsurprisingly, Tian chooses something very sleek, masculine, and comfortable for Phupha.
And then Phupha shows up and meets the parents. This is a huge deal too because Phupha was nervous about this because he feels like he took their son from them, and that he overstepped because Tian's dad was once a superior in the military. And all they say is, “We're gonna give you the thing that's most important to us. Take care of it.” And they acknowledge his filial piety to his father when Tian—when Phupha—admits that the reason he's a forest ranger is because his dad loved that mountain and felt a need to take care of it and the people who maintain it. And they were like, “Respect that.”
And then he proposes!
Nini
Okay y’all know how I feel about the BL weddings and the BL proposals. Y’all know that I am usually kind of, like, sitting in the corner, like, with my hands over my eyes. But this one, y'all, I was deep in my feelings. The tears came out. It was beautiful. I fucking loved this proposal. It was perfect.
Ben
I think I liked it because it wasn't a grand gesture in front of a bunch of people.
Nini
That's exactly why I liked it. [laughs]
Ben
It was for them. It was Phupha finally saying that he wasn't going to hold back anymore, and then they had loud obnoxious sex in the hotel room.
Nini
I just like that the loud obnoxious sex started like way before this. Like, the loud obnoxious sex started—like the idea of loud obnoxious sex of course was started by Pat, because that's Pat's entire brand. When he was walking around in the forest with Phupha, like, pretending to worry about Pran when he knows Pran is gonna be fine, and telling Phupha, like, “I mean I'm just going to sniff him out and, like, what do you mean you're not going to sniff out your man. Like, don't you know what he smells like? He smells so good.”
[both laugh]
Ben
You know, I don't think that's underlined really loudly in the show but like Pat says it quite plainly to Tian. He's like, “We don't need to go roaming around. Phupha’s experienced and good at his job, and Pran's really smart. We should really just stay here.”
[both laugh]
Like, nobody believes in Pran more than Pat.
Nini
Nobody. Absolutely nobody. Pat is like, “Listen. He's gonna be fine. I'm not particularly worried about him.” Like, both times. Both when he was wandering around in the woods with Phupha and when he was trying to get Tian to sit his ass down and be a heart patient like he's supposed to be. Both times he's just like, “I am not worried about Pran. Like, can we just focus on what the real problem is here. The real problem here is that your man is going unsniffed. Y’all are having a fight that y'all don't need to be having.” 
I loved Pat’s whole energy in Pha Pun Dao. He was just like, “I'm just gonna vibe. I'm just glad to be here. I like being able to be out in the open with Pran. We are literally a million miles away from Bangkok. I can just be out here and just love on Pran the way that I feel like lovin’ on Pran—” 
Ben
“I'm here to test the structural integrity of the teacher's house.”
Nini
All of that! “I'm here to fuck in a tent and ask the next morning if I did good.” He was just vibing the entire time, and then he got the bonus vibe of running into Phupha who he has—I'm sorry—a major fucking crush on. He does. It’s canon. We're gonna leave it at that. He brought the sex pest fairy godmother energy to Pha Pun Dao, and he's just like, “Listen, y'all are having a fight. Have you tried fucking about it? I have found that to be a very—”
[Ben laughs]
“—I found that to be very helpful method of solving problems. Y’all should just fuck! Give him a good old sniff. He smells real good. Have you noticed that?” 
And it works! Like, Phupha at first is like, “Oh my God, get this kid away from me.”
Ben
Pat said, “Dick is not magical. It doesn't fix you. But! You look like you could use a little bit of a stress release.”
[both laugh]
Nini
And he's not wrong. And I love that despite the fact that Phupha spends the entire time being like, “Oh my God, child, get away from me. You are so annoying.” The minute Patt leaves, he's just like, “Okay. I'm [gonna] try what the kid said.” 
And he does it!
Ben
He goes back to all of their most romantic moments that he downplayed previously and gives them to Tian. Tian doesn't even know what to do with it at first because they've been so cold for a while.
Nini
He takes Tian back to the waterfall, and he's just like, “You said that I sneaked to look at you and I did but I ain't sneaking now! I'ma look.” And then he goes further than that. He said, “Not only am I going to look. I am going to make sure that you get a good look.” 
Ben
[singsong] Take a good hard look!
Nini
And like, like you said at first Tian is like, “What is happening here?” because Phupha is being so open, which I don't think he's ever been before.
Ben
And, like, Phupha was kind of manipulative about it because he made Tian relent and so Tian thought he was being, like, punished at first. Like, Phupha was teasing him because Tian's never made his attraction really quiet.
And then they finally get the stern dicking they've been needing. And Phupha…steals a line from the kids: “What's my score for last night?”
Nini
It was so fun. And Tian is just like, “Your what?” Like, Tian is fully enjoying this and I love that for him because one of the things I think people forget throughout the course of A Tale of Thousand Stars is that the Tian who starts the tale—he's sexy! Tian at the beginning of the story, he's got this edge to him. The sexy edge, and that kinda gets whittled away a little bit in Pha Pun Dao. But, that's still who he is. 
And I like that at the end of the tale when we get here to the epilogue that he gets to be that again. He gets to pull out that sexy edge that is part of him and use it on his man. Like, he babygirls him, he takes him shopping, and then, when he lookin’ all nice, he leans into him and he be like, “You're real handsome. Do you have a boyfriend?” And I'm just like this is Tian! This is Tian that I remember!
Ben
And then he pushes Phupha in that bed, and he's like, “I've been waiting for five years. I'm ‘bout to get what's mine.”
[both laugh]
Nini
Phupha’s like, “What are you doing?” He's like, “Don't worry about it.” [laughs]
Ben
He’s like, “Don't worry about it, babygirl. I’ma take care of you tonight.”
[both laugh]
Nini
And I love that. I love that so much. Phupha is, like, panicked about it for a minute, and he's like [sighs]. He's decides. He's like, “Let go, let flow.” He's like, “All right. This how you want it?” and Tian's like, “Uh-huh,” and he's like, “All right, let's do this!” [laughs] I loved It. I loved it so much. 
I love that at this stage of his life Phupha just learns to like—you know what? He's like, “Sometimes you just gotta un-fucking-clench.” And he just, he lets it all go.
Ben
I don't usually like talking about sexual positions around here because…of the way people project onto them, but I really like the implication in the final scene that this might be the first time Phupha really switches with Tian in a way that's also him emotionally… because you do have to unclench if you want to enjoy that particular act.
Nini
[laughs] In more ways than one!
Ben
It works really well because of the proposal. Like, Phupha's putting it all in the line. He's actually putting himself on the line. And he's going to be a complete partner to Tian, and is also going to relent and let Tian have some of the things that he wants. 
Like Tian is happy in Pha Pun Dao. He doesn't hate their lives there. He just says, “I want you to come home and see my parents once a year. It's important to me. I just want you to come down for that. And when we're here, let me treat you nicely.” 
Like, even if their lives aren't gonna always be there—like Tian may someday have to take care of the responsibilities of his parents getting older. But, I feel better about them facing that now as two people who are fully committed to each other than Phupha’s whole waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop thing all the time.
Nini
I just…really liked…getting to see…Phupha just…be… We never get to see him just be. Once he internalizes what Pat and Pran say to him, at every point from then what we see is him getting to just be. Yeah, in a slutty way—which I personally enjoy. But also just not worrying so much about what the things he's doing say about him. And yeah, there are, like, moments of that, like, when they get to the play and the curtain goes up, you see him starting to, like, freak out a little bit. But as the play goes on he relaxes.
I like that he leans into both the relaxed energy and the slutty energy, because I feel like the slutty energy is incredibly important. Like, one of the things that I really enjoyed about the final episode of the crossover was that mosquito net moment because—
Ben
Oh my God…finally.
Nini
That's so many things! That's Aof acknowledging that he was maybe slightly too precious with their sexuality in A Tale of Thousand Stars. That's Aof acknowledging that, maybe yeah, they should have kissed there. That's also Phupha acknowledging a bunch of stuff. That's also Tian getting to recast those moments in his mind.
Ben
I also love that Aof basically gave them the Bad Buddy post-credits scene.
Nini
Now, everybody’s saying that, but to me I just remember that the A Tale of Thousand Stars post-credits scene wasn't sideways either. Like, they wrastled in that A Tale of Thousand Stars post-credits scene. Like, Tian had to ask for the dick but he got it.
Ben
I'm just very satisfied by the outing this time.
Nini
I really, really enjoyed it, and I think that a lot of the Sturm und Drang around it is because of these ideas—again once again—these ideas about balance, and feeling like it was maybe unbalanced between Pat and Pran, and Tian and Phupha. But I don't think those ideas of balance are relevant to what Aof was trying to do here. I think that using Pat and Pran—who are a solid, established couple who we know are pulling through anything because we've seen their future already—using them as a conduit, or a catalyst, or a support to pull Tian and Phupha through a hurdle that could break them. I was fine with it in the end. 
Like, I went through a lot of like—you know. I mean, you know because you were in these discussions with me and you and the clowns, like, sort of pulling through, like, how we feel about this. 
Ben
Everybody else is having a difficult time. I was vibing so hard for like—[laughs] for like two weeks! Everybody else is like, “Oh I don't like this episode!!” Like, everybody was mad after episode 3! Me…I thought that episode was great. They're like, “I hate how long they were lost in the woods.” I'm like, “Well, that was the whole point.”
They were lost in the woods. They were all circling around an issue, and the issue is really simple. Like, just sit still and let other people find you. Because that's what you need to do, baby gays, sometimes, it's sit still so we can fucking find you! And help you!
[both laugh]
Ben
All right! Let's talk about the actors.
Nini
Watching these four get to vibe together. I want to see it. And not just the four of them vibing together, but…the…pairings because they gave us like a mix and match. So, they gave us every single pairing that you could get out of these four actors, and everyone was delightful and delectable. And I enjoyed every single one of them, but I particularly enjoyed pairing Ohm with Earth. 
Ben
I really liked… the pairing of Nanon and Mix, and I don't know what we need to do to see those two work together again, but I would like to see the two of them take on meaty characters together.
Nini
I mean they're gonna be in The Jungle together. 
Ben
Are they? Well well well…
Nini
Yeah, maybe you might have to watch The Jungle. [laughs]
Ben might have to watch a straight show!
Ben
No…we just did that! It sucked!
[both laugh]
Ben
I loved Mix in this. Like, we've seen MIx and Earth together a couple of times, and you talked about this during episode two. Their drunken walk home together felt like Phupha and Tian, not Jim and Wen.
Nini
They made it feel so different, even with similar framing, even with similar camera work, even with the same actors, and the same director. They made that moment feel completely different from Jim and Wen's moment doing the same activity, and I—hats off, I bow down. I appreciate actors—y’all know that.
Ben
I like how all four of them managed to make their dynamics feel lived in.
Like, Pat and Pran felt settled. Like, they have some long-term difficulties to deal with—some of which are never gonna go away—but it was kind of interesting for me knowing that they're rock solid by the end of BB 12 that you can see them starting to get there now. Where Pran is nervous that this can't work forever because Pat is too loud. He…needs to be loud about stuff.
But, like, you can see the signs here of them giving themselves openings. Here, like with the play, with Pat going home to his dad later and giving him the liquor that Pran got in Singapore, loudly climbing through Pran's window when he comes back to Bangkok…to go play with his guitar in his room.
Nini
Pat needs to be loud. Pran knows Pat needs to be loud. And the journey that they're setting off on through the special—I can't even say that it culminates in Bad Buddy 12 ‘cause it doesn't. It continues in Bad Buddy 12, but it culminates at some point in a future that we don't get to see. And there's something to be said about Aof putting that way-way off…and the things that he wants to say to the baby gays and the elder gays.
Hoo! Man, I've been feeling Aof lately. Like, Moonlight Chicken, like, unraveled something in me. And going back to some of his earlier works in the light of Moonlight Chicken because part of the whole point of the crossover—and of crossovers in general—but in this particular crossover is intertextuality. When we were talking about Bad Buddy. When we were, like, thick in the things of Bad Buddy. We're talking about text and subtext and metatext working together to tell this story, and the thing that didn't become a part of that story—there were hints of it, mostly in the Pa and Ink storyline—but the thing that was hinted at, but not really fully grasped onto, was intertextuality.
Like, the conversation that different pieces of art are having between themselves. And one thing that this special—that the crossover delves into now—is the intertextuality.
Ben
I particularly like it because you have two leads interacting with each other and I find that sometimes we can get a little too archetypical about the leads of shows. By forcing the audience to consider who Pat and Pran are relative to Tian and Phupha, it forces you to revisit how you've been viewing them the whole time. Like, Pran thinking that he was Tian, and us maybe getting a little too caught up in that. Because, like we called it at the end of the first episode! We're like, “Why does he look so much like Tian? That feels off.” And it was off! 
Oh. I wasn't trying to make a pun there.
He's not like Tian. Like, as soon as I saw them I was like, “Why would they compare him to Tian? He doesn't feel like Tian to me?” I was right! And so, we get to the end of this whole shebang, and I am having a blast. Like I'm watching people having to sort themselves out like “Did I like this? Did I not like this?” 
I was drinking a mojito, having a good time, after this ended. I was drunk at the reception hanging out with some lesbians.
Nini
I mean in the end is it not the place that you want to be? I feel like it all worked out super well, and one of the reasons that it worked out super well is that these two stories had to be in some ways told together. And yeah, one got a little subsumed to the other. But that's the way that it had to be at this point in time.
Ben
I think it was pragmatic.
Nini
Yeah, I think if we had caught up with them and done this crossover at a different stage in each of their relationships a different problem would have come to the surface, and maybe a different arrangement of the two couples might have happened. And that's also something that we need to think about in terms of the specifics of when in the story narrative and the timeline of the stories that Aof chose to set this particular crossover. 
When it comes to Aof I'm always thinking about what he's trying to do, because one of the things that has been very clear to me throughout his oeuvre, but particularly in Bad Buddy, is that…he is always going to tell the story that he wants to tell. He's not overly concerned about making it fit into certain narrative structures. He's not overly concerned about making it fit into audience expectations. He wants to tell certain stories, and that's what he's gonna do. And that was made very clear to me with Bad Buddy 12, because that defied every narrative expectation—every audience expectation—to speak a truth that Aof had on his spirit.
Ben
The other thing for me—this is the part where I’m gonna get a little bit grumpy again. It is expensive to make television. Like, the biggest thing that stands out to me with all of Our Skyy is how stripped-down all of it looked.
Like they filmed in like one or two locations at most it felt like half the time, and they had really short filming schedules, and everybody had to be good very quickly. There's not a lot of runup time. It feels like people just brought whatever they still had left from the last performance and they just ran with it. Everybody had to be really good, and it's expensive to film on that mountain. And so Aof needed to justify that particular crossover, by using the most potent talent he had.
Like, there's a huge Bad Buddy fandom. There's a pretty solid contingent of people who like A Tale of Thousand Stars. And for A Tale of Thousand Stars to get something good, he needed to merge the Bad Buddy budget with the Thousand Stars budget.
But also, they didn't want to touch their ending, which is why he sets Bad Buddy before its ending, but Tian and Phupha only at the beginning of their romance when we leave them. They have more work to do, so they can have an epilogue story that really hammers into some really interesting stuff, which we just spent the last hour or so talking about. 
But it's done really efficiently! Like for the most part we all seem to enjoy Our Skyy, and they manage to do that with their limited budget. Like Pat and Pran are in a different room because it's probably cheaper to use this room. There's less people in Pha Pun Dao this time. Au is running around in the background as an extra! Wasn't he the damn director of the Kwan and Riam play? [shushes] Don't pay attention to that. A bunch of guys are running around with masks on—that's probably just crew members!
Nini
I did sort of love that chewing gum and string energy these productions can bring that is really sort of the heart of the Our Skyy franchise. I feel like I like that because to me that means it's for the art. If you're going to do this on chewing gum and string it's because you really fucking care. Like if you're going to do a story like this on string and chewing gum, it's because you really want to tell this fucking story. And in the end that's where I land on the vast majority of Our Skyy 2.
Ben
So what's our final verdict on Our Skyy then? Worth it? Not worth it?
Nini
Before we get to our final verdict on our Our Skyy, we didn't give our final verdict on the crossover. 
Ben
Oh, it's a 10. [slams desk and laughs]
Nini
It's a 10! It's a 10! It's a 10! Let's just—let's just—let's let it go. Right? It's a 10 for drama and a 10 for crack because what is more cracky than a crossover? And so it averages out to 10. Have I got quibbles with it? Yes. Do they, in the grand scheme of things, matter to my enjoyment of it? Absolutely not. It's a 10—point blank period.
Ben
It didn't waste my time. They set out a really interesting premise: what if Tian published his diary? What if “lonely queer looking for meaning and community” Pran found it? What if he met them? What do they do if they meet each other? Like, they follow through on that in a way that gave us so much to talk about for two weeks. 
And it was fun seeing the whole fandom come alive and see people revisit characters! It was fun seeing people change their opinions on Phupha, and even Earth and Mix as the result of watching this. That was so much fun. 
Nini
It was delightful. It was enjoyable. It was meaningful. It was narratively enjoyable at least for me, it was a 10. I loved it and one of the things that I love most about it is that Pat gets to lick Pran's finger this time.
Ben
Oh my god.
Nini
I mean, it's just the slutiness of it all! Pat gets to lick Pran's finger. Phupha gets to touch his titties in a sexy kind of way. They get to make out with that damn mosquito net, and I enjoyed every single second of it. I laughed, I cried, I…felt warmth deep inside. 
1:59:13 - Overall Score for Our Skyy 2
Nini
All that said, in terms of the overall—let’s give an overall score for Our Skyy 2. Ben, what do you think?
Ben
With the caveat that you should only really engage with the Our Skyy content if you liked the original show, it's a 9. 
Like, I didn't like Vice Versa and I didn't like Star in My Mind when I watched them the first time, and so everything I didn't like about those shows was present in their Our Skyy offerings. I don't think it's very fair of me to be especially mean about their Our Skyy offerings when they are in line with what the audience has been taught to expect. If the audience likes that more power to them. But for the six shows that I genuinely liked, I had a good time with these. 
Like, the weakest shows in this that I had a hard time with on the front end were A Boss and a Babe and Never Let Me Go. And I really liked what Jojo did with Never Let Me Go, and I thought that A Boss and a Babe actually had a really interesting story this time. But I loved The Eclipse and I thought Golf was great with this outing. I thought the cast was great in The Eclipse outing, and I felt like that about Bad Buddy and A Tale of Thousand Stars, and I felt like that about My School President. 
I had a great time! It gets a 9 overall. Like, there are quibbles—it's not always the best thing, and it forces you to maybe look back at a show and alter the way you felt about it. And if you'd rather lock the show in a mental prism of where you last left it, maybe don't watch these offerings? But if you grow and change, and you kind of want to imagine what your characters are like if they also grow and change, then maybe it's worth checking out for you. 
It's a 9. Highly recommended.
Nini
For you, the score is always about a recommendation. For me, it's always about do I like this? How much do I like this? And for me, for the vast majority of Our Skyy, I fuckin’ loved it. So I also give it a 9. I don't have any caveats about recommending it to anybody or anything like that. I just had, for the most part, a whale of a fucking time. And so, it's a 9! I enjoyed myself! 
So kind of in our own form of intertextuality harkening back to our Season 2: Electric Boogaloo episode of the Spring Series, and talking about sequels. So, Ben, after Our Skyy 2, how are you feeling about sequels?
Ben
Enthusiastic? [laughs] I mean, come on, man, like, this was fucking good. We need to think about how these characters stay together. That can be so rewarding to think about and it's good for the audience to think about it. 
I hope we see Pat and Pran in 10 years after their little sprout has blossomed, and maybe they're considering something else. I'm totally down to return to characters every couple of years for check-ins. That totally works for me, and I think that there is value in transitioning the types of stories we tell with characters over time, because they're going to face a variety of situations over time, so it can be so, so rewarding for us as viewers to go on those new journeys with them.
Nini
How do I…feel about sequels? Again, it's the same way I always feel. I feel like when there's story still to tell, I'm ready to see it. I'm ready to hear it. And if I feel like there isn't anything left to say, then I'm not interested. That's largely where I landed with the Our Skyy episodes for the most part where I felt like there was story left to tell. I thoroughly enjoyed getting that story and then those, like Star in My Mind, where I felt like there was no story, I wasn’t really interested. 
So, do I feel pumped about sequels and the whole idea of following these boys into the “staying together” part of things? Yes, that's something that I'm always going to enjoy, and if that means conflict, I am fine with that. I enjoy watching them navigate that, whether the conflict is minor or  major, I am having a blast with that in my mind. 
And…I can't wait for Our Skyy 3. 
That is going to wrap us up on the Our Skyy 2 episode. Y'all are going to hear the edited version of this, but I just want you all to know that we've been talking for three hours, and we've been having a great time. See y’all in the next one. Say bye to the people, Ben.
Ben
Welcome back, my boyfriend!
Nini
[laughs] Bye.
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theninthdoor · 9 months
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What will the future hold for SM, JYPE, YG, and Hybe in the next five years?
SM || ten of swords, eight of pentacles rx, the empress: So, either their artists will all stop renewing with the company (unlike what we've seen over the years) or we'll see some more public lawsuits/other legal issues/scandals coming for them. Their projects might start losing quality, too, and, as a direct consequence, receive increasingly worse results. The company's reputation is really at stake here. On top of that, I see their girl groups doing a lot better than the boy groups and/or a woman might be called in to save the company - either way, there's a very strong and abundant feminine presence here, which seems to carry their only chance to keep their status as a top company. SME will have to reevaluate and reorient their whole structure + business and creative approaches within the next few years, for sure.
JYPE || three of pentacles, eight of cups, knight of swords: JYPE will be standing on their own, focused on what makes them unique + the path they want to forge for themselves; they'll stop looking for comparisons or to follow what other companies are doing, just for the sake of trends/hype. This might result in a decrease of exposure, but it also cleans the slate for them to find their identity once again - also, their groups seem to be getting more involved behind the scenes, too, and that might play a big part here. I would just be wary of them developing tunnel vision regarding some projects or ideas, since that can lead them to lose their grip and fall back into incertitude and lack of direction once more.
YG || the magician, the emperor, ace of swords: There are a lot of legal elements here, so they might either acquire or establish a new subsidiary OR they might merge with some other big company - something new will result out of this, for sure, but YG will still exist as it is; it's just an add on. I see them acquiring stronger leadership, looking to build connections that are more beneficial for them (financially, specially). The company will start relying a lot more on the internet and rise of AI, I believe, and could even look to go with concepts that are a bit more futuristic from now on. They might also pull some of the original hip-hop elements from their early groups, revamp them and create a whole new experimental, ultra-modern yet timeless image for themselves and their groups.
HYBE || the chariot, the sun, ace of wands: HYBE will keep on acquiring more companies or businesses as the years come. They'll still be at the top, setting trends, winning many accolades and coming up with the next "big thing". With the Sun here, it worries me that they might keep training and debuting younger teens - there's a feeling of them wanting to continue on with the fresh, youthful craze that NewJeans started for them. Their target demographic going forward seems to be younger people, too, and whatever they put out then will certainly influence that new generation immensely (in style, tastes, behaviour, etc.; even more than before).
(Disclaimer: Based on current energies! All readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)
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bu0nanotte · 10 months
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*peers from behind the veil of apparently hopeless optimism* isn't it funny how whenever Netflix streams Hannibal that it always trends amongst the "popular on Netflix"? We as a fandom have sat here for the past 8 YEARS fuming over the fact that we may never get a 4th season of a show so lovingly crafted by the creators, writers, actors and by association, fans and have so desperately sought for a service willing to stream it. BUT WAIT Netflix pops the 3 beautiful seasons up, probably in a bid to lull us lingering fans into a sense of false hope yet have (as usual) done nothing to hint that they will assist in keeping this show alive. Yes I know, it's for entertainment purposes and crime dramas are all the rage BUT it is a massive slap in the face where us TEN YEAR stans are concerned. Obviously, it's amazing that we get to watch our show again, seeing as Prime dropped it BUT it is a concurrent kick in the teeth as Netflix apparently has the means to stream it for profit. So. It begs the question. Netflix periodically streams Hannibal for the sake of profit/exposure yet will do NOTHING with regards to a further season. And yes, I am aware that Hannibal has been off air for eight years. I am weeeeeeeell aware of that. I guess you could construe this post as being selfish because I am so fucking sick of streaming services dangling three perfect seasons in our faces yet do nothing to back further seasons. As Mads recently said, time is running out and if these streaming services are clinging to the scant seasons we were shown, why not back a further season, even if it is just in the interest of monetary gain. Idk, perhaps I'm just in a pissy mood. And not that I don't appreciate being able to rewatch the three seasons we were given. I'm not clinging to the past, by any means and if we never get another season, then that is something I can completely accept. But it's been eight fucking years of uncertainty. Can someone just give us some fucking closure? As a ten year stan, I'm sick of seeing these sporadic beacons of hope only to be disappointed. Ugh. Sorry. Consider this a bitter, spiced rum induced rant. *retreats back*
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gravegrime · 8 months
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WRITEBLR INTRODUCTION
👻 Welcome to the graveyard 👻
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Hello!  I’ve never realized that there was a wealth of passionate storytellers sitting right under my nose this entire time.  I kinda figured this community was more for novelists and not… well whatever the hell you’d call me.  Figured I’d outstretch a gnarled hand to see if anyone’s brave enough to take it.
ABOUT MY WRITING
I’m not a huge fan of sticking the things I make into boxes as most of them sit in weird nooks and crannies that make labeling them specific things feel a tad inaccurate.  As a general trend however most of my stories have some flavor of horror influence in them.  Something is never quite right, but to what degree depends on the story.  They’re often set in completely original fantasy settings bearing little resemblance to what we would consider normal.  I have a trend of child or young protagonists (probably the cartoon influence coming in there) figuring out their place in the world or something fundamental about themselves.  Coming of age stories, stuff like that.  Found family is also abound in many shapes and flavors across my many half developed stories.  
My stories are almost exclusively long serialized affairs focusing more on character development than plot intricacy.  I won’t claim them to be simple but the thrust is definitely on character motivations.  I like to write stories about people being people without a looming calamitous threat or great quest they must go on.  There’s something charming about normal people dealing with the cards they’re dealt the best they can.  I definitely have stories about fantastic quests and imposing dangers it’s just a bit of a coin flip which one you’ll be getting with me!
I also have a small list of concepts I make a point of not attempting in any of my writings.  Time travel, prophecies, immortality, and resurrections are all things I avoid for various reasons.  You’ll likely never come across them in any of my stories.  No hate towards any of these concepts, except time travel, they are just some ideas I don’t find any real enjoyment in including in my works.
ABOUT ME
Oh what’s to tell?  Name’s Alex, but if real names wig you out Grave or Grime work just fine.  I’m a twenty eight year old professional animator, but you won’t be hearing much about that here.  I like to keep work and hobbies separate.  Here I’m mostly an artist but I’m going to be trying to branch out to share more about my stories.  Keeping all this nonsense up in my noggin has got to be a bad idea, ya know?
Regardless, despite my focus on art on the social medias my real passion has always been storytelling!  Stories have been my life blood for as long as I can remember. From my mother reading me stories before I went to sleep, to trying to write my own short stories in middle school, to a brief but passionate fling with filmmaking back in highschool.  The latter serves as the base for a lot of my writing practices and techniques to this day!  In truth my switch to comics/animation/arts was primarily a practical choice as I feel those mediums allow me to best express my ideas with the least reliance on other people.
I’m a fan of the weird and strange with an emphasis on the fantastical and horrific.  Cartoons are my bread and butter, they’re something I can talk endless hours about the merits of them as a medium, but there isn’t a medium of storytelling I really shy away from.  I love the craftsmanship behind the construction of stories and characters and am always very eager to go on long conversations about the fundamental structure of storytelling.  Also a big fan of hypotheticals and working out plot/character/world points with anyone willing to put up with me.
MY WIPS
Time for the meat and potatoes, let's get into it!  I have a lot of stories, all receiving a varying level of attention, and because of this I tend to run two or three stories I’m actively working on at this moment.  I’ll be detailing two of three stories that I’m focusing on right now.  The third is a new work that I haven’t unveiled to anyone yet.  I’m giving it time to cook before I show it off, but rest assured it’s shaping up very well!
Grimm Deeds (GD)
A long form story following the adventures of Corny, a young boy with the ability to interact with ghosts, ghouls, and spirits, after being taken under the Grimm Reaper.  Though there seems to be an ulterior motive behind the reaper’s tutelage.  Tons of crazy and macabre escapades await the relatively normal boy as he learns what his abilities truly mean.  
Grimm Deeds is like a love letter to halloween and all things a little bit spooky.  It’s jam packed with magic, monsters, and all those spooky delights I love!  I really think it shines through in its characters though.  Without tooting my own horn too much I think they have a surprising amount of depth given how goofy the whole thing appears on the surface.  It being about the Grimm Reaper and his position in the world it also deals with death as a concept quite a bit.  Something I always have a good deal of fun exploring!
In the Dominion of Hate (DoH)
An animatic style story about the unfortunate misunderstanding that befalls Lilium of Bliss leading to her being cast from her home into the Dominion of Hate.  Wishing to prove her innocence, and encouraged by the abstraction Query, she embarks on an epic quest across the black sea of turmoil to find a way back home!  Primarily a story about self discovery, even if Lilium isn’t fully aware at first, in the Dominion of Hate is a swashbuckling adventure across the strange and surreal sea of turmoil.  Watch a young lady with no conception of the world but a willingness to learn befriend horrific monsters and gods of conception because she’s just so darn charming!
I’m sure people don’t like to play favorites like this but Lilium is actually my favorite character I’ve ever made.  She’s got a very unique but fascinating way of thinking thanks to her equally bizarre upbringing and I can’t wait to share that with you all!
FINAL WORD
I have so many stories that I’ll likely be creating a master list as an intro to them all at some point soon.  If this writeblr intro strikes your fancy please feel free to stick around!  I’m always down to talk shop with anyone and really don’t care how people interact with me!  I’m just kinda here to hang out and have a good time.  We vibin’.
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k00299393 · 4 months
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Research
I decided to research dance moves and the shape of the body and how it moves.
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I headed to the library and checked out the book 'A Century Of Dance' to explore the different styles and meaning behind them.
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Over the years there has been many dance trends set. Here is a list of some oldies and more modern ones, from Chubby Checkers twist mania to the modern viral tiktoks like The Renegade.
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Something that is now obvious to me is that dance is used as a form of escapism and expression. I really like how just using the body's movements you can depict all sorts of emotions and stories. Or how a person can be imitated using mannerisms unique to them. And the use of gestures can help you read a persons body language to figure out their emotional state.
Emotions
I am going to explore depicting certain emotions through movement. The movement being dance and/or gestures.
Plutchik's Wheel Model
Plutchik proposed eight basic emotions and distinguishes them according to intensity. When using colour during this brief I will come back to this wheel for reference.
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My hopes are to spend the next two weeks in animation. In the past somehow my ideas have led me down a morbid path, sometimes. So I want to start this brief off by trying to create an animation that depicts a happy emotion and oozes positivity.
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rainpudding · 2 years
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YAN! SCARA X READER
THE SWEETEST ICING
chapter eight
chapter index
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- the last chapter before the epilogue, this chapter is shorter than the one before, please if you have any questions regarding the book, or anything related please post them in the comments or send me a dm I'm so happy to be here with u guys. Also since this book was written before any scaras lore he can be a bit ooc, i tried fixing him in this chapter making him seem like he was a good person in the past but i lowkey feel like I failed to show that. I hope you still enjoy the chapter nonetheless.
Breath hitches in your throat as worries flood your heart and dumb little mind. You breathe deeply trying to shake away the fear that is buried in your chest. The sun shines brightly making sweat form all over your body as you grip the inazuman flower boutique.
There is a classical music band that was hired by Scaramouche in the background, they're playing soft and quiet music building a lovely atmosphere. violin mixes with quiet whispers and gossip you step back, your brows furrow in pain when you feel an edge of a knife on your back, threatening to cut through your clothes and skin, ready to draw out blood. You look behind your shoulder to see the Russian ginger smiling sincerely, his eyes dark with a hint of madness, the knife is hidden under his sleeve, away from the wandering eyes of the guests but still here for you to feel, a hint that there is no escape.
You step back forward your eyes becoming teary, your eyes meet  Dottore who is standing behind the altar, his smile widening as he sees your fear. You gulp your pride your hands lightly shaking, your press harder onto the boutique. Finally, you step forward, your shoes clicking against the decorated stairs.  The music explodes now being loud, people start clapping and cheering, and harbingers sip their wine gossiping.  The icing mage in the crowd waves at you sparkles in her eyes as she jumps trying to make you see her, when you look at her she shows thumbs up.
When you're finally at the top of the stairs, on the podium where the altar is, you finally breathe out. Scaramouche is by your side, he hums in approval as he can sense your presence. "Finally, always have to make a scene don't you, a grand entrance they call it," Scaramouche sighs, surprisingly not angry. He seems weirdly relaxed, your muscles tense. Normally he would start making a scene, educating you and stuff, but now that you stand next to him he seems happy not minding the fact you came late and tried to back away a few times.
"Feeling shy? Tire of your fake pride already," he is pressing your buttons, and he knew it. His smile says it all. "Fake pride? Like you know any better," you bite onto your lip,  your hands curl into the fabric of your clothes. "What is all this, you don't see me for three years, we become complete strangers and suddenly you want to marry me? Don't you realize how big of a commitment this is? Has your brain decomposed since we last saw each other? Or is this some trend that harbingers now do," you spat, your heart hurt threatening to break apart, your chest felt heavy and you felt awfully hot, cold sweat rolled down your forehead as you tried to stay as quiet as possible but still express your anger.   Scaramouche seemed unaffected by your brattiness, in fact, he seemed lifeless like he couldn't get why you were so angry.
Before he could calm you down or answer Dottore coughed loudly, discarding the tense atmosphere," the guests are growing impatient should we start?"
Scaramouche nodds a glaze lily decorating his hair. Just now you noticed that you carried a boutique of flowers from his homeland, and he had his hair decorated with a flower from yours.
You still didn't understand, why would he marry you? Yes, you were his secretary for a year, before you started working under him you spared a few glances at each other in the fatui hall. Besides a few words of comfort and encouragement you offered him, there was nothing more that happened between you two. Yes, maybe you understood why back then he would fall in love with you. When younger and naive you always tried to bring a positive and happy atmosphere everywhere you went. You always helped, you never forgot anyone's birthday, you always carried patches with you and gave first aid help. But now you're a different person, you grew up. You became smarter and a hard worker. You haven't seen Scaramouche in years, and neither did he. So the attraction surely had to disappear, right?
"You promised you wouldn't leave," Scaramouche whispered, and suddenly your mouth ran dry.
Dottore fixed his clothes and microphone and opened his book, bending over he tapped the microphone a few times before finally speaking,"Welcome, loved ones. We are gathered here today to join Scaramouche and Y/n in holy matrimony." You remembered, how could you forget such a significant moment in your life. Your face became red your heart sinking, drowning in a cold sweat of guilt. Back then, when you started working as a harbinger, Scaramouche became a harbinger too. You remember everyone said that his heart was from stone, or from ice. Lost in past and his own anger.  You remembered wanting him to smile too as other harbingers did. You wanted to be friends with everyone so much, wanting everyone to warm up to you. You cleaned Dottores lab after experiments, trained with Childe, created handmade gifts to Sandrone, singing with Columbina. You tried to warm up to Scaramouche too, but he was always so dismissable and alone.
Yes, you remember, you were a people pleaser back then, helping everyone, making everyone feel welcome. Even when Scaramouche pissed you off you still bit your lip and were nice.
You remember one day, the night was cold and dark and you climbed onto the roof of fatui headquarters, stargazing. When Scaramouche found you he scolded you, telling you how he will tell Tsatsira, but knowing that Tsasira probably liked you more than him he gave up letting himself enjoy the peaceful moment. He climbed up, sitting next to you. You remember how he became sleepy and for the first time he let himself be vulnerable, he laid his head on your lap as you brushed through his hair, ranting and talking about meaningless things. And then listening carefully when he whispered his worries or ranted about his hopes for the future. You remembered the shock you felt when you found out he was a doll, suddenly scared to touch him, scared that your touch would break his beautiful face.
You remembered how you did a pinkie promise, promising you would be always here for him, always by his side.
But being with him was from time to time exhausting, even more, when you became his secretary, he can't blame you for leaving. For choosing a better future for yourself.
Perhaps you should have done better then. Be more honest, and more open. You didn't knew what consequences would your actions make. You should have said goodbye, or left a note. Not cutting all the connected strings, not cutting his heartstrings, leaving him alone, like everyone always did.
"No need to worry about the past! We have united again, thanks to your friends," he looked at you, his smile widening, his eyes dull and insipid, no longer violet, now they were purple-greyish with a hint of insanity. Shivers run down your spine, this Scaramouche was so much different than the one from your past. Like you were getting married to a brand new person.
Back then Scaramouche was cruel, he degraded people, he was possessive and dint understands human emotions, and he was angry and hot-headed, in contrast however he also allowed you to see his weak side, his kind and sympathetic side, his boring and calm side. You were the first person in years that showed him kindness and warmed up his ice heart. He was humanoid, he had both bad and good traits, and he showed true emotions even if he couldn't understand them.
Looking at him now. He no longer felt like a human. He was weirdly calm and relaxed, his face a sinister grin. The Scramouch next to you was a doll, a lifeless doll with no other emotion besides his sick love for you, no other thought than you. Unable to love, he was dead inside but alive outside.
It was like someone craved a heart out of his chest and stepped on it, and the one who did it was you. Just like when you became important to him and made him trust you, just to disappear without a trace.
Dottore kept talking, and reciting the text from the book, his clones sat in the front, eating as much food as they could, looking like hamsters. They were clapping their hands and loudly cheering, low-key making Dottore embarrassed.
"Just kiss already goddamn," the younger clone yelled, his mouth filled with cupcakes, the icing smeared all over his mouth. "No shut up Dottore you don't understand it, it feels more romantic this way," the older clone lightly slapped the back of the younger Dottores head.
"No may the pair exchange their vows," Dottore spoke, he shot a glaring look at his clones.
He looked back at you two, his mood brightening when he noticed your uneasy expression, sadist. ""Do you Scaramouche, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?," he spoke his gaze turning to Scaramouche who was still smiling.
He took your hand pressing it his heart nearly jumped from his chest at his excitement," I do."
"Do you Y/n-" Dottores voice was a blur, for a moment you couldn't hear anything, you felt your cheeks flush, your heart heaving, your blood pressure going up. You felt like you were about to vomit. Your hands shook as you thought about the past, how you left everyone, about the present, how you were about to get married, and the future, your life with Scaramouche.
Suddenly Scaramouche pinched your cheek getting you out of your thoughts, "I know you do, say it, don't be shy, everyone knows you already belong to me," Scaramouche whispered.
"Shut up," you whispered. You looked at your shoes in shame, "I do," your lip shook, you felt so humiliated.
"Amazing now might you kiss the bride," Dottore closed the book with a loud bang smiling. You backed away while Scaramouche took a step toward you. "I will be gentle I promise."
His hands cupped your cheeks, you nodded, "let it be over then."
Your lips connected, and he brushed his fingertips over your hair and pulled away. You blink a few times, while Scaramouche kissed your forehead, "I will make sure that you will never leave me again, you're all I need, you're my oxygen," he brushed a few hair strands from your face, his forehead on yours his pupils dilated and small, his crazed smile on his features. He was obsessed, you could feel it by how tightly he held you in his arms, scared you would disappear otherwise.
Dottore proudly walked towards his clones who were fangirling and jumping around him like hyped-up children.
The rest of the day felt like a blur, you cut the wedding cake together. A few of Scara's friends had a speech then Nigguang had a speech, her voice was slightly shaking, she tied to look at the crowd in front of her but upon meeting your angered gaze she always looked away, looking at the paper she held in her hands instead.  She babbled about how a monster was supposed to attack Liyue a sea monster until you saved them by your sacrifice, how you married the love of your life and in exchange, Scaramouche sent his fatui agents to kill the monster before it could attack.
Then you stood by Scaras side, his hand resting around your waist, his suffocating presence making you nervous. Is this how your life truly looks like now? There is truly no escape is it..
(the final chapter/epilogue will be posted this month,please look forward it)
TAGS: @aluraveil @alisstaa​ @cherlynono - sorry for such a boring chapter guys, next one will be beter, and final.
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