One of my favorite and the most important things about Gary is that when he got buff, he didn’t also get thin. He didn’t go from an overweight pudgy guy to a thin buff guy. He went from a fat pudgy guy to a fat buff guy. And to me the distinction is important. This is a body type that exists and turning him into Hugh Jackman in Wolverine with a shredded six pack twunk body would be outrageous and unrealistic. He’s fat. He has a stout body type that will NEVER look like a thin person’s. He’ll never have the Monarch’s stick figure frame. But he CAN get swole as hell and be a total badass with this body. AND still have a tummy on top of it.
Dr. Jiminy: So, Pinocchio, did you know Alison wasn't your daughter?
*shocked gasping from the crowd*
Pinocchio *raises eyebrow*
Alice *giving Jiminy the 'are you kidding me look'*
Lampwick *from the cro wd* Yes, he knew! We all knew ! You knew!
Dr. Jiminy *flustered* SECURITY!
Lampwick *running from security* I REGRET NOTHING, YOU OVERSIZED GRASSHOPPER!
Dr. Jiminy: FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M A CRICKET!
Alice *to the crowd* for the record, my daughter is adopted. I didn't even marry Pinocchio until She was 6 months old— something that, as her godfather pointed out, Jiminy was aware of—
Can't get over Harvey Guillén playing two characters named de la Cruz. They are cousins now.
(In the style of a What We Do in the Shadows documentary segment.)
*Establishing shot of the de la Cruz family all in black heading into a church. People crying and a priest comforting someone as they walk in.*
*Guillermo in a suit doing a confessional on the steps with the documentary crew.*
Guillermo: Yeah. So we had a death in the family recently. So I came out to support my tío and everyone while they’re processing their… uh grief. I'm kind of desensitized to death at this point but family is family.
*Insert shot of the priest at the pulpit and someone sobbing loudly in the background. Back to the confessional.*
Guillermo: Even though I’m half vampire I can still go onto hallowed ground, only now I break out in hives when I'm in there too long. But yeah. It’s a bit of a weird time because not only was he my age but – you know – in the family everyone always said we looked a lot alike.
*Zoom in on shot of a framed photo of Dr. José de la Cruz next to the coffin. He looks just like Guillermo but with different glasses.*
Guillermo: It caused us to be compared a lot, when we were kids. And after we grew up. It was like some unspoken competition between us. Like “Oh Guillermo, cousin José got accepted to Princeton” “Why are you working at Panera? Your cousin José has a PhD and works for a multibillion dollar corporation” “Cousin José comes home from his scientific research for Christmas, Guillermo, why don’t you?” It was kind of hard to hear back in the day. I was less confident before I got in touch with my Van Helsing heritage and now of course I'm a vampire too. So it’s bothered me less nowadays. But, uh now he’s died in some kind of work place accident. Which I guess is the price of scientific advancement?
*Partially obscured shot of Guillermo’s cousin Miguel and Guillermo sitting in the pews while the priest continues to speak. Miguel leans over as Guillermo starts itching at his church-hives.*
Miguel: Psst. Did you hear how he died?
Guillermo: No? Some kind of on the job thing?
Miguel: On the job, sure, but it's way worse than that. According to cousin Isabella, José was involved in some secret conspiracy type stuff. His boss wanted to use José’s technology to make some super robot bug cops.
Guillermo: robo cops?
Miguel: robo Bug cops. Like with wings and shit! They were on this secret island doing some Frankenstein mad science and José got cold feet about it. Then the robo bug cop turned on him and *makes squishing sound* he got got, just like that. It's true.
Guillermo: Really?!
*A relative turns around and shushes them.*
Guillermo: *speaking quieter* Didn’t he fight back?
Miguel: There’s nothing you can do against a robo cop, man. It’s scary. Then the whole island blew up. That's all that's left of him. Crazy... Poor José.
*Guillermo looks wide eyed to camera as they bring out a tiny urn and someone starts sobbing again.*
*Cut back to the confessional*
Guillermo: *with a bit of a smile* I guess the Van Helsing genes only really help you fight against vampires. Shame.
If I had a nickel for every time I watched a movie with one of the cast members of What We Do In the Shadows, I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice in a row on the same night.
To celebrate the occasion, I've drawn four of my lgbtq shippings that I wanted to share!!!!!
Hook & Jafar are totally open about their relationship but not many people actually noticed, so when they act lovey dovey with each other it shocks those who hadn't known about it.
Maleficent & Ursula are also in a relationship but they don't talk about it, it's not that they're trying to hide it; they just prefer not to talk about relationships with the other villains due to any questions being asked.
Ernesto & Slim are definitely a couple the entire household knows about, Ernesto is a huge flirt & all; but Slim is the one that puts the spotlight on their bond! Flowers, singing, you name it, Slim's letting the world know about his love for Ernesto!
Now Hades & Facilier aren't a couple, but Hades has been crushing on Doc for the past seven years & hasn't said any thing. But he's gotten so good at hiding it from Doc that the shadow man himself hasn't noticed a thing, Shan has been scolding Hades about it since the start & still can't get Hades to make a move.
Hello!! can i ask for these villains (Ernesto de la cruz, Dr Facilier and Hook) with a Gender neutral S/O who loves give and receiving kisses and hugs a lot. Thank uu
Ok! Villains with mushy S/O!
Ernesto
"Ok, ok, just one more."
He says that then lets S/O kiss him at least five more times.
As long as it isn't in front of others, Ernesto really enjoys the affection.
In front of people he just freezes up.
He's also a little awkward when giving affection at first, he's not used to it.
Captain Hook
"Well aren't you just adorable?"
He thinks it's sweet.
He's also rather tactile himself so it works out pretty well.
But he does have a slight aversion to PDA out of a sense of propriety.
It's no where near Ernesto's borderline phobia, but it prevents him from kissing S/O too much in public.
Facilier
"You are just the sweetest little thing."
He absolutely loves this.
Facilier doesn't often feel appreciated, so having someone around who loves him so much really helps get him through the day.
And he's perfectly happy returning that affection, even in public.
Making his friends jealous and uncomfortable is like, half the fun for him at this point.