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butcharium · 2 months

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I often do think it is important to call myself a woman. In past I've had kids ask me "are you a man or a girl" and in hindsight I think these kids were quite perceptive of the world. Especially when you're in your 20s it's men and girls, I've seen students write pieces describing themselves as men, but their female peers of the same age they call girls, but I have also heard bisexual women say they like both men and girls. In past I've fallen into that myself and said that yeah I'm a lesbian I like girls, but do I? No I am in my twenties and I am actually only attracted to my fellow adults - women. It does feel more serious, less trivial, both to be and be attracted to women as opposed to girls, and that can be a bit uncomfortable to be faced with. It is also important to me as a butch. I am no longer a tomboy I am a butch I am no longer a girl I am a woman. I am a woman and women can be like me. I don't feel like I've succeeded enough at adulting to call myself a woman, but that doesn't matter. I am 25, and if the word bears other connotations so be it, that's not my problem.

#to be fair i have also heard men on their 20s say man feels too serious of a word to them #but idk like so much of our society infantilize women i wont do the same #but also like in group of friends i do hear both men and women call each other boys/girls like girl's trip/boy's trip evening with the boys #lunch with the girls etc like ofc theres many situations where those words are used past adulthood in a way that makes sense but still #musings #butch

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turtleblogatlast · 1 month

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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.

And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.

Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.

(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #trans leonardo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #trans leo #it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys #totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr #his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain #plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help #(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation #and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res #love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there #and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here #did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense

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falmerbrook · 5 months

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Peryite is such an underrated daedric prince to me, conceptually. His sphere of influence has so much potential to explore. Like, disease and the natural order together? The way his followers see disease as a blessing? I love the implications there alone. He's the weakest prince, but his sphere has the potential to be so subtly destructive. One of his symbols, skeevers, represents that so well. The series has been kinda meh at exploring the princes philosophically but I feel like they are right on the cusp of something interesting with him, but since he isn't as flashy or obviously "bad" (or sexy) as the other ones he keeps getting put on the backburner. Gimme an interesting Peryite storyline pretty please. Explore things a little

#i saw a reddit comment saying that peryite/hircine/namira would be an interesting combo and i want it so so bad #like the 'natural order' trio. theyre all repulsive in some way but also sort of just a factor of life you cant fight against #i do not trust eso to do something interesting here though tbh. they use daedric princes a lot (too much) but it always just makes them #allies or bad guys and never really gets into their (or their followers) philosophy much #(from what ive seen so far)#mine #tes #the elder scrolls #peryite #relate him to the ecological role of disease or something idk #or if you want to go darker: population control or the way governments allow disease to affect those they want gone #actually get into the logic of why his followers follow him (although they rarely get into that for the other princes too so meh)

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luck-of-the-drawings · 2 months

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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milfygerard · 3 months

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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.

#barry.txt #taylor swift #putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush #which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general #whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music #her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate #shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes #onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt #i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort #to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her #if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of #milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share #taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly #shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand #idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable #in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush #and scene #should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine #i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine

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raplinenthusiasts · 1 year

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🎤 next song is dedicated to @jeongtokkie

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adhd-merlin · 11 months

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What if my father's attitude to magic is wrong?

#idk. is this anything?#i literally don't know where i was going with this #just playing around #i am still thinking about that meta about ep 5x10 :(#this is literally made in canva like. that's the extent of my editing skills (0).#tw: experimenting #i know kara wasn't executed for using magic btw #it's about the symbolism okay.#merlinedit #merlin #arthur pendragon #screencaps from s5 are super crisp full HD #and then screencaps from s1-3 are like. potato quality 😭#gif makers how do you do it!!!!#i don't even mind the grainy quality too much its just #when you've got to use them together :(#anyway I wanted to start rewatching s1 tonight but #I wasted over 1 hour on this and now it's too late #oh well

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keibea · 6 months

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her name is fiorella and i lubs her very much goodbye

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avisisisis · 5 months

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The sun and moon symbolism was used so well in LMK

I love how it wasn't used as a way to tell us about their personalities but instead as a way to reflect their beliefs, their places in the world and how their relationship with it can vary

When you think about sun and moon characters, the first things that comes to mind are "extrovert and introvert", "loud and quiet", "optimistic and realistic (or straight up pessimist)", etc. You think of two labels that are used, to put it simply, as a way to tell us that oh, this character is bright and nice and this other character is quiet and follows them anywhere. And depending on what you think about Shadowpeach, this might suit them! But if we're talking about canon, then it's just... not them

Macaque isn't a shy, timid guy who while he's smart and clever, he doesn't stand up for himself. SWK isn't a happy and cheerful but also dumb guy who tends to be the one to defend Mac when he doesn't do it himself

Here, the sun and moon symbolism is used to explain the nature of their relationship, not their personalities. It's used to give us a simple explanation of why they're that way without showing us a 20 minute backstory scene to make us understand what the fuck happened (though that wouldn't be unwelcome)

The sun shines brightly and gives us its warmth, but in the end, he'll always be alone; no one can get close to her without burning. The moon's brightness comes only from the sun, and she's most noticed when it's night, while the shadows cover the earth

The moon needs the sun to shine, but the sun wouldn't change at all if he wasn't there; Macaque needs SWK to be there for his character to be important. but Sun Wukong's story would have remained almost the same if Macaque had never been his friend. If you want a story where they never knew each other, just read JTTW!

However, while the sun doesn't need the moon at all in real life, these two characters are supposed to be actual people, not a rock and a ball of gas in space. Macaque can be his own person without Sun Wukong being there, and Wukong is strong enough to not need someone fighting by his side but still wants it anyway

They're not soulmates, at least not in the way the wind and the sea are. Sun Wukong's love for Liu'er Mihou isn't a thing destiny wrote. It's not heaven's, not space's, not faith's: it's his. And his love for Macaque is what makes him need him by his side

#idk there's smth about the fates not having written two ppl together in their story but them choosing to be together anyway that haunts me #i think that while swk n mac are a lot like the sun and the moon they're still yk #NOT the sun and the moon #mac might've left behind and swk may be too powerful for common mortals to truly reach him but #mac has (almost) the same power as swk even tho the moon isn't anywhere near to being as bright as the sun #and ig you COULD use it to show how ppl care about the moon as much as they do about the sun but this is about THEM #not abt what other ppl think they are. so it's about the actual sun n moon rather than what they mean to ppl #and #there are some ppl who CAN get close to swk without dying even tho the sun will kill anyone who gets close to it #the way macaque views their relationship is flawed n the way swk views it is #also flawed!#miscommunication and unreliable narrators my beloveds #lmk #lego monkie kid #sun wukong #the six eared macaque #the monkey king #liu'er mihou #swk #shadowpeach #i don't know how to put their relationship into words without it sounding weird #ig that what i'm trying to say is #that they are really important to each other #even if they hadn't needed each other they'd still choose each other #even if they hadn't chosen each other they'd still have needed each other #idk if i'm explaining myself well #the sun and the moon. never touching but always seen together even if they're never by each other's side irl #avis' post

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idunnoausersname · 21 days

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You know what's really tragic about the character of Rudolf in Elisabeth das Musical? (Besides, y'know... Everything?)

That he's a LOT like Franz Joseph too, at least when he was his age.

They're both under the thumb of one parent, who doesn't allow them to express their own political view. They both feel like intrigue is ruining their lives, and wish they weren't in the restricting position they occupy. And most importantly: they both express a desire to be "soft", instead of the hard and emotionless leader they're drilled to be.

Why then, is there no song, not a single line, where either of them acknowledge that similarity? Elisabeth and Rudolf both sing about how similar they are, why can't Rudolf and FJ?

Because Rudolf doesn't know. How could he know that his own father went through the exact same pressure he is under.. when the pressure was successful in molding him? He never sees that softer side to him.

Franz Joseph might have chosen Elisabeth over his mother in the end, but he internalized her lessons and sees them as truth. He is hard, he is strict, and he doesn't know any other way to be. He doesn't see anything wrong with how he's treating his son. (And in his childhood, how Sophie raised him). He turned out fine, why should Rudolf be different?

So Rudolf had not one, but two parents who should have been able to relate to at least part of his despair. But both failed to be the parent they wished they had. And I don't know if it's better or worse that he never even knew how his father was similar to him, too.

#I'm surprised I haven't seen much mention of this #Maybe this is a super common idea and I just haven't seen it. Or maybe it's too obvious to point out #But idk I just got sad when I connected the dots #They're even dressed the same #Poor Rudolf really got the worst cards from both his parents hands #Elisabeth #elisabeth das musical #kronprinz rudolf #Not to mention Rudolf Ich Bin Ausser Mir which uses the same melody as Bellaria and Ein Keizerin Muss Glantzen #And Unsere Keizerin Soll Sich Wegen.#All about the pressures of the court. Trying to make them conform.#Elisabeth in her fixation on her beauty (the most successful political tool she wields)#Elisabeth and FJ BOTH are pressured by Sophie specifically #And then FJ has an argument with his son. Which literally sounds similar to the argument he had with his mother.#Ofc Elisabeth reprises FJ's parts too when she rejects Rudolf's plea for help #Like he rejected hers. But that parallel is written in bright neon lights #I feel like FJ mirroring Sophie is less noticable but no less impactful #God. Circles never do stop themselves do they?#-slaps the Austrian emperial family- this bad boy can fit so much generational trauma in it

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silverware-is-interesting · 2 months

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i think i've drawn lankmann a few times. just a couple

#silverware's art #lankmann #pastra #pastraspec #he's just waay too fun to draw for some reason #i didn't wanna do the weird glitching he has when he talks #idk why. but i organized them from least creepy (to me) - most creepy (yet again. to me)#the one where i wrote “i'm back around” is actually a song lyric-#can't hold me down by genichris. specifically. a song actually made about lankmann that is very catchy. by the way.#many wouldn't be too impressed to know that pretty much everything in my computer has some relevance to Lankmann-#some of my friends would defiantly use that against me but hey. they might not read the tags #eh it's alright. he's an interesting character #also. IT'S SO WEIRD KNOWING HE'S ONLY 5'5"-#I'M TALLER THAN HIM #by less than 2 inches. but i'm still taller #this has been sitting in my drafts for over a day so i might aswell post it ig

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imminent-danger-came · 1 year

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Crack theory:

So, between 1x01 where Wukong puts a seal on MK to limit his powers, and 1x09 where Wukong says "Look kid, using that much power—your body can't handle it." I'm wondering if the seal (which lowkey I'm kinda waiting to be brought up again) ALSO sealed away MK's Moneky form, and I'm wondering if MK broke it in 4x07 Pitiful Creatures.

#IT'S KINDA MAKING A LITTLE TOO MUCH SENSE.#something something ''Using the flower fruit mountain seal to seal the jade emperor's power'' and #something something doing the same for MK #Like Samadhi fire Mei and Jade Emperor Azure are SO similar. I'm waiting for MK's powers to turn out the same way.#Where MK struggles to be a container for his own powers #And like. He couldn’t control them in 1x01 that already happened (albeit on a much smaller scale) SO. YOU KNOW.#THE SEAL IS COMING BACK I TELL YOU #Originally I thought ''oh hey maybe they retconned this'' AND NOW. IDK. I'M NOT SURE THEY DID #staring at the scene in 4x13 where MK stares at his hands in fear and grips his face as he turns into a Moneky for infinity #lmk #lmk theory #lego monkie kid #lmk MK #monkie kid #girl MK was going to say something to Wukong before Azure showed up. AND I'M LIKE HELLO. WHAT.#HUH. AND ALSO LIKE. 4x07 WAS LITERALLY THE MOST POWERFUL HE'S BEEN SINCE A HERO IS BORN.#I AM CONNECTING THE DOTS #HOLY SHIT

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good-beanswrites · 5 days

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A little something featuring Fuuta and Es after talking about their criminal lack of interaction in fanworks with @waivyjellyfish ! You had such awesome ideas (a few of which I'm still bouncing around in my head to post at some point,) but this one ended up taking over my brain -- I hope you enjoy 😅 Attempting to answer the widely-debated question:

“Oi, why didn’t you hit me?”

Es looked up from their paperwork.

“Prisoner number three. Most people are glad when they’re not struck.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Es usually left the door open at this hour, in case anyone had any last-minute complaints before curfew. No one usually took them up on the offer. They figured that if there was any prisoner they could count on to complain, it would be Fuuta marching through their door.

“You hit all the other guys. You even hit some of the girls that were giving you trouble. So what? You think I’m too weak? You think I can’t take it?” Fuuta spread his arms. “I can, so show me what you’ve got!”

Es sighed. They put down their pen. They folded their gloved hands together, resting their chin on top. “Fuuta, I’m not going to hit you.”

“Why not?”

“As of right now, I have no reason to. If you’re referring to the interrogations…”

They reflected on the first one they'd shared with him. To be fair, the thought had crossed their mind. It would have been satisfying to give this rowdy prisoner a taste of his own medicine – striking him after such a dramatic charge at them. But Es was always good at reading people. It didn’t take them long to understand Fuuta was the type to lash out first and ask questions later. In fact, that was likely what had landed him in Milgram in the first place.

Although Es knew they weren’t here to do any reformation, they wanted to try to show these prisoners where they’d gone wrong. So, they resolved to act as the bigger person. They’d prove that senseless violence was just that. By keeping their composure, they’d show Fuuta just how childish he was being.

That wasn’t my only reason. I guess that's true, my actions weren’t all purely righteous. I still spent the entire time looking for ways to make him squirm… But it wasn’t all cruelty. I really did want to understand. I wanted to help. That counts for something, right?

Es never struck the prisoners out of anger, or as a petty show of power. It was a way to force the prisoner to mind their ego. When they’d gotten a bit too full of themselves, a bit too comfortable with the awful deed they’d committed, Es’ blow encouraged them to feel a bit more humility and guilt.

By the time the second trial arrived, Fuuta oozed guilt.

The moment Es entered the interrogation room, it was clear that he needed no lesson in humility. He hugged his arms to his chest. His remaining eye darted around the room in thinly-veiled hysteria. His voice trembled when he spoke. It didn’t require any people-reading skills to hear the remorse that underlaid all of his accusations and threats.

Hitting the others felt like giving a dog a tap on the nose after breaking a rule. Meanwhile, Fuuta snapped and snarled like a stray who’d been kicked time and time again.

Of course, he could never know any of this. Any way Es phrased it, Fuuta would misunderstand it as pity.

Well, wasn’t it? I thought he looked like a kicked puppy – that sounds a lot like pity. No, it was out of respect. Does that mean I didn’t respect the prisoners I did hit? No. I respected them too. Then, what’s the difference?

Fuuta was still staring at them, asking the very same question. What’s the difference?

“Each of Milgram’s prisoners is unique.”

They were met with an unimpressed glare.

Es chose their words carefully. “Each one responds best to a variety of treatments. Some need attention to be comfortable, while others need time. Some need validation in order to confess. Others, a bit of debate does the trick. Some need a show of force. You –” remind me too much of myself “– require something else. I’ve learned to change my approach depending on the person I’m dealing with.”

Fuuta’s features flashed with confusion, then shame, then his usual mask of anger. “Tch. How pathetic.”

“Excuse me?”

“So you just change your personality when it’s convenient? You put up fake smiles and fake attitude? Have some balls and just be yourself.”

Es was caught by surprise. “... I am. Those are all pieces of myself. I choose to bring out different parts when it would be most helpful.”

“Sounds manipulative as hell to me.”

It makes sense he doesn’t understand. He’s a very clear-cut person, with every aspect of his personality lining up in a way that makes sense. I find that predictability fun. Or, is it something that I envy? Could it be both?

They had no time to dwell on it, as Fuuta was struck with an idea. “Though, if you can do it on command, why don’t you give me the ‘you’ that wants to hit someone?”

He spread his arms once more, hands gesturing to his chest. Es pretended not to notice him wince. They remained in their seat.

“What are you waiting for? Hit me!”

“I will not.”

“You just said you can change your personality on a whim, so let’s see it!”

“That is not what I said.”

His good eye began to look frenzied. He raised his voice. “You scared? The big bad warden of Milgram, nothing but a big coward!”

“Stop this. You’re acting childish.”

“No! You’re treating me childishly! Let me see the Es that kicked Shidou! The one that slapped Kazui! Treat me like you treated them!”

“I hit them because they said something stupid. They deserved it.”

“Are you fucking kidding? I deserve it too! I deserve it! Come on!”

At the last word, his voice broke. He stumbled to his knees. He let his head drop. He sucked in strained breath after strained breath. Shidou would surely give him a lecture about getting so worked up with his injuries.

Es finally stood.

They made their way around the desk. They knelt on the floor in front of him.

“Why?” he wheezed. “Tell me…”

“Fuuta.”

Should I just go ahead and do it, just to make him happy? No, I want to talk it out. But what do even I say? I'll tell him that I care. I can’t. None of the prisoners understand that I care. Why? Why is it so hard for them to see? I’m trying my best, why can’t they see?

Es extended their hand carefully. They didn’t know what they hoped to accomplish, but in that moment their thoughts were too loud and conflicting. They needed to do something.

Fuuta saw the gentle intention, and immediately raised his own hand to strike. It froze midair, though whether it was from Milgram’s restrictions or his own hesitation, Es would never know.

Neither of their gestures connected.

Footsteps. Then Yuno’s voice, hesitantly from the doorway. “We heard shouting, is everything alright in here?”

Es retracted their hand. A beat. Fuuta dropped his, too.

“Yuno. Yes, we’re fine. Fuuta was just heading to bed. I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I said, I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

Es stood, nodding to Yuno. When she’d gone, they turned their attention back to the prisoner crumpled on the ground. They made an effort to quiet their ever-racing thoughts.

“Listen. I know you can handle yourself. I’m not doing this because I think you’re weak. You’re strong. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t see that.”

They held out their arm to help him up. He didn’t move.

“Sometimes you are a bit too strong, if you ask me. I mean, picking fights with your prison warden, really?” They clicked their tongue. “You should be grateful for a superior that gives you second chances.”

At last, Fuuta took their hand. He avoided meeting their eyes, but his voice had softened considerably from his rant. “The only thing you give me is a headache.”

Es offered a dry smile as they pulled him to his feet. “The feeling is mutual.”

#milgram #es #fuuta kajiyama #i fully intended on writing something silly/sweet so SORRY this was a lot of drama 😭 silly and sweetness coming soon i promise adsfsdf #i really do think es would see themself in fuuta to some degree #something about them being filled with audience voices and fuuta also being a reflection of the audience... idk...#it makes me crazy how much es cares !!!! their line at the end of baptism of fire about how they dont hate the prisoners #and they now have a connection that cant be broken #and they see them all as comrades #it makes me crazy!!!#they have too many conflicting thoughts/feelings of WARDEN DUTY to flat out say 'hey i care about you'#but they do!!!! ;---;#i had some fun writing es' internal monologue like that! i debated on making it specifically a conversation between voices (using 'you' or #third person pronouns) but i think this still gets the idea across well #i know es never actually gave a straight answer to the final question but i hope this still gave a good peek at their reasoning #i genuinely dont think es pities him but he IS a pathetic wet cat in t2 and that definitely influences their actions in some way #i believe your exact words were 'red-haired fucked up dog' and i hope i could do that image justice 😎👍#drabbles

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disposal-blueeee · 7 months

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halloween thing i drew for an art trade with @cherry-207 ! she asked for edgar and scri dressed as angel and devil . you can see her part here !

edgar vargas belongs to jhonen vasquez

scriabin belongs to @zarla-s

#hello . uhhhhhhhhhhh #UHHH WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN I SWEAR #i know i haven't posted a thing since like A MONTH AND I'M SORRY BUT i have a really nice excuse for this . yes .#right after posting devi's drawing my mom BROKE HER FOOT ?? WOAH !#and idk maybe i was sad or . stressed because i had to do a bunch of things my mom used to take care of and it was really stressing #this + school stuff + a drawing a day + some other things pretty much started killing me #and suddenly i was getting hives every single day after 11.30pm . yeah . it was TERRIBLE #so uh . i had to stop doing some stuff for my own wellbeing . like . drawing . for example #but it worked !#now i just have a bunch of mosquito bites on my hands . they seem to like them .#OH SO well um YEAH DRAWING #an art trade with one of my friends !!!! drawing this was honestly so fun #as you can see this is from october 25th . but i wanted to wait for brusk to finish her piece before posting it #te quedó precioso emily . valió totalmente la pena la espera . tqm #edgar's costume looked so boring next to scriabin's #he looked way prettier with wings but if i wanted to add them i would have to erase 90% of scriabin and he came out so pretty to do that #so . instead of making him wear something pretty and detailed like scri's costume i had to make him wear something you could see and think #“ oh yeah that's an angel ”#i explained this to brusk after showing her the drawing and she said #“ if you think about it . him having a traditional costume fits his character "#and i was like OH #ACTUALLY YEAH THAT'S COOL #anyways i really like this one . the colors are so pretty . i finally found a way to make my colors warm and pretty .#WELL UH THAT'S TOO MANY TAGS BYE #vargas #zarla s #vargas zarla #scriabin vargas #edgar vargas #sunny's art

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cluescorner · 1 month

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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.

#arlecchino #genshin impact #pierro #WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty #I'm so fucking confused #Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP #She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking #care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to #prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different #she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm #IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS #That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you #shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around #so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines #kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it #she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to #the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff

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mokeonn · 1 month

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I fucking hate the tetris effect so much. Like oooh lemme play this funnie little card game rogue-like, ooh it's so fun it's gonna be the only game I play for weeks now, oooh what do you mean I'm fucking duplicating multi-card holographic sevens in my dreams

#simon says #yeah this is about balatro #i think it sorta taught me that I do in fact really enjoy roguelikes and i am pretty decent at them #at least I think I am #i only have 3 more card decks to unlock and the black deck is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE #i am not going to 100% this game because I hate the black deck so fucking much #that -1 hand is gonna be the death of me and has been the death of me #it's like I either fumble my first round and have to start over because I keep forgetting I have 1 less hand #or I get a nice groove but lose around round 5 because the boss bind was too tough #anyways I only really watch 1 youtuber play it so I have no clue if im actually pretty decent at the game or if im like #okay or something #idk all I know is that I am going to do my damnedest to beat that black deck #also I wanna try to unlock all of the collection because it's very annoying that challenge mode doesn't count #and I wanna do challenge mode but it is just annoying that it doesn't count anything towards the collection #but yeah im REALLY vibing with this game and every time I play it while high it makes me wanna stream again #anyways I have it on switch (because I could use the nintendo coins to get it at a discount) but I looked at the achievements on steam #i wish cross platform saves existed because if I had it on steam I would have all but like 4 achievements lmaooo #anyways im just autistic and really like card games and roguelikes so this is like the perfect game #plus big number go up

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