#disasociation
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There is nothing so disconnecting as feeling like a ghost in your own body.
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Family Dinner/Happy Place
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What if?!!...
I'm connected to the wrong reality...
#serial experiments lain#lain#lain iwakura#cute lain#let's all love lain#txt#bored#animecore#webcore#void core#disasociation#fears
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I feel as though I did not die when I was supposed to, or maybe I wasn’t ment to be alive in the first place, and so now I suffer every waking moment, praying to a god I don’t believe in, wishing for death.
#tw sui ideation#tw sh#vent post#deppresion#mental illness#suicudal#tw sh vent#self destruction#sh#cvtt1ng#sewerslidal#disasociation#self h@rm#self mutalition#anxeity#baby cvts#cxtting#made of styrofoam#religious trauma
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In delusions we trust
#delusional#tw delusion#let me live in my delusions#heavenly delusion#delulu#im just a girl#girlhood#psychosis#actually schizophrenic#schizophrenia#delusions#mental illness#actually autistic#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#living in delusion#disasociation#derealism#dereality#derealization#depersonalisation and derealisation#derealisation tw
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I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I mean I knew I could mistake dreams for reality sometimes but like- when there’s actual evidence, real actual stuff I can read through and somehow I was still so wrong.
I just can’t tell if anything is real, or if it’s all in my head.
I know solipsism is an irrational position and I know all the arguments against it, but this early in the morning it’s what I’m leaning towards.
At the very least all of this means one less thing I need to deal with. Less logistics and planning to work out.
Anyway, as said by fictional ethics and moral philosophy professor, Chidi Anagonye:
“You know, in a larger sense, if you go around acting like no one else matters, then you end up doing things like knocking over cakes, and pushing people into pools and just generally acting like a jerk. Why not treat them better, just in case they're real? I mean, what do you have to lose by treating people with kindness and respect?”
#dereality#derealization#depersonalization#disassociation tw#disasociation#personal#can I tell if anything is real? no#does that mean I’m suddenly gonna be selfish and treat people poorly? also no
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You can take my phone, you can take my switch, you can take my school assigned computer but you cannot take my ability to stare at a wall and hallucinate
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#please help#i miss you#im sorry#im so tired#nastolgia#childhood#childhood trauma#childhood memories#inner child#trauma#mental illness#disasociation#dissociated#dissapear#i feel nothing#lonliness#im numb#i feel empty#emptiness
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Ahhhh nothing better than daydreaming all day
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Heyyy guys, I might disassociate bc of something happening with my siblings (they got mad before a car ride home) and I might disassociate, so sorry for what I post during that as it’s soley on autopilot :)
Update: my brother fucking listened in on me! Now he’s doing the fucking thing we’re he’s all condescending and shot asking question INFRONT OF MY FUCKING FAMILY! Dude you don’t do that shit, why would you do that shit!? Don’t fucking listen in on me talking to myself that’s fucked up and creepy! Don’t do that shit man not cool!
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I have a cold and I just spent the entirety of my day disassociating.
It was kind of scary tbh because the whole day just went by while I was floating around in my head.
I got up to shower cuz I can't sleep without one then I just stared into space and ran scenerious through my head for hours on end. I couldn't even get myself to look at my phone.
It was very hard to come out of it.
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I keep thinking “it’s starting to get bad again” but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s ever really been anything but “bad”
#tw sui ideation#vent post#tw sh#deppresion#mental illness#suicudal#tw sh vent#sh#self destruction#cvtt1ng#sewerslidal#disasociation#self h@rm#self mutalition#anxeity#baby cvts#cxtting#made of styrofoam#religious trauma#pdd
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How am I doing?
Well, we've reached "repeated the word "the" ten times before giving up and trying to phrase the sentence a different way because my vocabular/communication skills are really low for some reason" point and the "cried because I don't want to be depressed anymore" stage.
I'm okay. Yah know, life keeps going.
#mental illness#mental problems#depressed#anxiety#disasociation#vocabulary is hard#i can't communicate#crying
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I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality again.
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(Talking about Someone Else voice) Haha yeah, I'm the coolest person ever, everyone loves me.
#disasociation#derealization#these things are true but I cannot internalize them#they must be meant for someone else
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