#dick normally shows off his ass a lot but it’s so fucking funny in that one
Note
saw these at pride and thought of you
AYYYYY NICE!!!!
#god i’ve seen that cover before- the one with tim flexing- and it amuses me so much#dick normally shows off his ass a lot but it’s so fucking funny in that one#and fuckn. i can’t remember which character is spamming the peach emoji in the chat- babs i think? not sure#also like…#woag i am perceived in day to day life…. epic#crazwaz posted#audience participation
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seventeen reaction of you pulling their belt to kiss them
Tbh I couldn't stop thinking abt this, this isn't even an idea I really considered before but I love it anon :3 also again - I think I'm really funny hehe
Seungcheol
100/10 loves it
Totally a belt guy anyways
Thinks it's super adorable how you try to be domineering about it
Fully expects you to maintain that attitude by taking his belt off and getting on your knees
But that's only after a sweet kissing session because he truly loves just making out with you or simple pecks of affection
He's good at taking a belt off (there's that one concert video that lives rent free in my head) but he also likes to test if you're just as good at it and practice makes perfect :)
So if you pull at his belt, expect there to be an accompanying long lesson and night afterwards full of high expectations
Jeonghan
Kinda hates it
He's sensitive okay - doesn't like being yoinked around
If you wanted a kiss, then just ask him like a normal human????
But really only maintains that sour puss attitude in public
Still, he will roll his eyes when you do it at home and sometimes just doesn't wear a belt so you can't - as if that's going to stop you??
"Your pants are falling down hannie" And? What are you going to do about it?
It's kind of annoying because then he buys super tight pants and you can't stop staring at his ass(ets)
I can't tell if this is a win or lose situation but I'm banking on it as a win - just make sure you take his pants off soon so he gets some circulation ;)
Joshua
Pretends to act all cool but sincerely flustered
He wants to be the one that flusters you but fails miserably and you can't even kiss him because he's instantly turning his face away to prevent himself from being exposed
Actually, I think maybe he hates it because he likes having the upper hand so he can escape being embarrassed but instantly loses when you do that
So he's very pouty and refuses to let you kiss him as stated before
But that fails as well because how can he resist you for too long?
Just know that he'll want lots of love and reassurance afterwards and/or will be a very mean dom the rest of the night in bed :P
Junhui
Shocked by it but definitely loves when you do it
"Hey guys, look at what my s/o can do!"
Jun pls this isn't a talent show
Won't let you kiss him at all if you don't tug at him first
Which is so obnoxious because he also thought you were reaching for his dick and makes everyone think that as well
And of course you wanna kiss your idiot so you just give in and it's good at keeping him quiet
Also think he'd be really annoying if you're trying to seduce him, you know like laying sexily across the bed or smth but he won't come over and just grins with his tongue poking his cheek
I think he likes when you're aggressive with him but in the "I love you idiot so much but can you just get your cute ass over here and fuck me" kind of way
Soonyoung
LOVES THIS
Totally buys a leather collar that he wears and if he's feeling extra feisty he'll attach a leash so you can really yank him around then
Ahem, anyways, he's so embarrassing because he'll make a big show that he's wearing a belt - so you and everyone else knows
Tucks in his shirt and keeps gesturing to it and wiggling his eyebrows
Adjusts his belt enough times everyone thinks he has intestinal issues or something except you're mortified because you know what he's hinting to
And he's even worse when drunk dear lord like he can't help but give kisses and more love to the world but he also loves smooching in general
So he would spill any and all secrets like how much he enjoys it when you yoink him around and everyone is cringing as he sways eagerly back and forth
And then you demonstrate it perfectly by lugging him home and away from the public eye
Wonwoo
I think he digs it because he loves the possessiveness of it all
Like he'll constantly want your hands on him in some way
He's the kind that wants to have a hand in your back pocket and vice versa
It's nice because he can easily cuddle into your side
But yeah, unintentionally pisses you off by having random people coming up to flirt with him because he's hot and they don't get the hint of him giving them the cold shoulder
Smirks when he sees you storming over or just yanking the front of his body towards you so that you can kiss him
He never does it to make you jealous or anything but you both are very much up in each other's bodies and business so it's only natural for you to stake your claim on each other
Jihoon
Acts like he hates it, secretly it makes his knees weak
My dear tsundere, I think the first time it happens it ends up terribly because he's not expecting it and you weren't anticipating on pulling so hard so you nearly knock each other's teeth out
He's like, what's wrong with you and you tearily complain he wasn't paying attention to you
Of course, he feels really bad and secretly I wonder if he will just act this way on the occasion so you can display your clingy, demanding side
Not that he'd ever admit it
He's also a busy man
Grumbles under his breath before you kiss him but he's grinning once your lips meet his hehe
Seokmin
Definitely shocked, no matter how many times you do it - eyes wide in surprise before they scrunch cutely when he smiles
He's a tiny bean man inside a large body so he totally lets you manhandle him around even if he's the one that has a better chance of throwing you around instead
Instantly nose bumps you, loves that you want him close
Starts giggling whenever he feels your hand creep around his waist and lets his body go lax lmao
Speaking of his nose, it's prolly the first thing you kiss because it's closer to you than his lips hahaha and it's just so kissable
Also smooching his moles is a fabulous pastime and you can really make sure to find each one with him so close in your arms and he loves it so much practically vibrating in happiness in your arms *cries*
Mingyu
I think he's totally into it but he's a little unaware he's all beef and muscle and a little impossible to throw him around all that easily
It's a disaster lbr whenever you do it
He either doesn't budge or he's body slamming you unsexily across the room
You'll definitely break/chip a nail off his belt and he probably is sobbing across the room from ramming headfirst into a wall or something also he just feels bad
So you kiss it all better and promise not to do it without warning him first
Once you get the feel for it, it's still a haphazard mess because his big tiddies are always up in your business and he's clumsy af but he's grinning so stupidly in love, you can't complain and just have to kiss him
Minghao
I think when Hao wears a belt, it's not just for functionality but also a fashion statement like those really heavy, fancy, gem-filled, million dollar ones
So, I think he'd be a little affronted that you would just casually yank at it for no good reason
Although when he realizes it's because you want kithes then he's more understanding
But also has the same vibes of like just ask for a kiss like a normal human
Now though, whenever he buys a belt, he's examining it for yanking purposes
It's actually irritating because he asks your opinion - serious too like he's not even poking fun - and it's not for its design but if you'd be able to pull at it effectively pls
Also in the back of his mind, he's considering if it'll tie your wrists up well but that's another story :)
Seungkwan
I know he'd be all cute and embarrassed, hiding his face behind his hands as he giggles, BUT I'm also thinking about alternative scenarios
Just like doing it whenever he's acting sassy or even when you're bantering back and forth and not a single point is being made or understood or agreed upon
So, to shut him up you tug him by the belt and smooch him
Astonished at your audacity, fluttering in his tummy, cheeks burning <3
You always get your way if you do that and he vows every instance that it will be the last time but forgets about it once he gets fired up again
It's okay because you can just silence him effectively every time, stay winning!
Vernon
The first time was a total accident
You were on the dance floor being the awkward couple you are when some drunk nearly spilled their glass on him
So you yanked him by the belt buckle without even thinking and he's super close so you can't help but kiss him
I feel like he's definitely into it after that but he wears sweatpants 90% of the time but he still wants you to do it
I'm sure the feeling of his waistband snapping against his hips makes him feel things :)
And since he wears a belt and jeans a lot more when you're out and about, he still wants you to do it so it ends up as a public display of affection and whatnot
Also he's a lil spatially unaware still so it's also a good safety measure
Chan
Thinks you're insane for this in the best way possible
Makes you do it like twenty times and his eyes and mouth are so wide each time
"Do it again."
Your arms ache actually because he WILL test and see how much strength you have to yank him around different times
So annoying about it that you might not ever do it again frankly
But it's hard when he doesn't always pay attention when you're talking to him in loud places or goofing off with his friends
So you do tug at his belt which only makes his eyes sparkle and you're like oh no, here we go again...
It's hard to tell if he's doing that on purpose or not but he's also a little small brained so honestly, who knows?
It's a good thing you love him <3
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Awful Characters Round 1 Part 1 (6/8)
Propaganda under the cut!
DIO BRANDO
why i like him: he’s evil, he’s funny, he’s a vampire, he’s a dick for no reason, he’s British, he’s bisexual, he stops time, and everything bad that happens in the series is his fault
why he deserves to be in: LITERALLY kicks puppies, that’s his THING. Ruins adoptive brother’s life just because he’s Mean and Evil. Kills people. Kills animals. Does weird horrible things to people for literally no reason. Turns people into zombies. Kisses women without their consent. Brainwashes people. Seduces lovers and sucks their blood while a weird old lady watches in the corner. Ruins generations of lives even after his ass is dead.
can you be cancelled by twitter users: yes absolutely
BELIAL
Belial is the primal beast/angel of cunning, and one of the main antagonist of the side story "What makes the sky blue". He's the very first primal in existence and had a profound romantic and sexual devotion for his creator, Lucilius. So profound that he commited all sort of crimes to get Lucilius's love and approval, and only got worse in worse when Lucilius only showed distate for him.
Mind you those were crimes Lucilius wanted him to do, but Belial was just never enough compared to the second primal beast, Lucifer, the angel overseeing Evolution.
List of crimes includes:
-Provoked like 3 attempted apocalypses
-Organized a group of rebel fallen angels in order to make them Lucilius's experiments subjects later, torturing all of them for thousand of years.
-When Lucilius was beheaded by Lucifer, Belial vowed to bring Lucilius back to life…. By organizing Lucifer's murder and beheading him in order to use Lucifer's corpse to sew Lucilius's head on it
-Also managed to blame Lucifer's boyfriend for Lucifer's death because "well it's your fault he died since he was trying to protect you so he wasn't fighting at his full strength :/"
-He is also extremely sexual and is constantly talking about wanting to orgasm on the spot, or engage in sexual intercourses with anyone he encounters
-Also the type of person who kills his one night stands after he's done with them.
-Calls torturing people for fun just himself indulging in his SM side.
-He's spoken a lot about his goal to Fuck Lucifer's Corpse, in front of Lucifer's boyfriend.
-Also is constantly doing sexual remarks to said boyfriend.
-He's torn the wings of the one person who was still loyal to him (technically to save his life but he lied that he was doing it just to torture him)
-Also he lies all the time and backstabbed everyone we ever see him make plans with
-Guilttripped the protagonist by faking his suicide
-Helped the protagonist at the last hour during their fight against Lucilius in order to be locked into an interdimensional prison for all of eternity with the man who hates his guts, out of love for him, while the guy couldn't think of a worst way to spend eternity.
-But by helping us i mean "gave us a ship, and then we learnt that he left a bomb on that ship, nearly killing us"
-Has been appearing in MC's dreams regularly to manipulate them into embracing a magic that will make MC his puppet
-Managed to mind control MC for long enough to have MC try to kill their soulmate.
-In the spin off fighting game he mind controlled a lot of people in the same way to make them his puppets and force them to try to kill their loved ones.
-He's described in the game as "Just, The Worst".
-Has this for theme song and we're supposed to think it's normal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2MHUJTciRg
Personally i like him a lot because there's Layers to his depravity, mainly also that the horny feels a lot like an act some of the time, and that he's ultimately a man with intense inferiority complex and self destructive because he wants the love of his uncaring creator at all cost.
He's fairly popular in the fanbase but i've somewhat also seen a LOT of takes about how you're a bad person if you stan him. Mainly i've once seen a call out post saying all fans of Granblue Fantasy are bad because "Belial is a pedophile" quickly followed by "but i never played granblue". Like. The dude's a canon necrophile why did you need to add a crime he didn't commit on the list. (pretty sure it was on the list since he's an immortal guy who's two thousands years old who flirts with mortal people so there is Always An Age Gap but didn't he commit worse than that by now.)
I've also seen some people hate him for how clingy he is to Lucilius and how he's earned all the abuse he recieves from his creator, but i don't know if those groups sweeped as low as to call his fans bad for it lmao.
Oh right and once he was trending on Twitter and a lot of catholic people started to cause an outrage because "how could the youth worship the demon Belial by making him an anime boy, you're all going to hell", it was fun!
There's a lot more problematic characters in the franchise that would honestly fit more to this prompt, but Belial is the only one who's popular enough to have people, even outside of the Granblue fanbase, make judgement on people who like him because he's Terrible.
pollrunner's note: belial's propaganda was all from one person and is supposed to be one big quote block but tumblr didn't like that so I had to split it up a little bit
#awful characters tournament#tournament poll#awful characters round 1#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#dio brando#granblue fantasy#belial gbf#wmtsb
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asking very politely for how steve-o or bam would be dating a fem jackass member whos also just as crazy as the crew idk just silly activities
pls add whatever u like im good with everything IM JUST IN NEED OF CONTENT🙏🙏
BAM AND STEVEO DATING A FEM! JACKASS MEMBER !
ok so i have no clue if u were asking for them separately or together so ima just wing it and do SOMETHING
WARNINGS: talks of drinking and drugs
———————————————————
BAM:
well being in a relationship with this guy would be crazy
would constantly brag abt ur looks to the guys
“my girlfriend is so hot bro”
shit like that
would probably tease u abt and just poke fun of u in a playing type way
expect to be pranked at any moment
his pranks on u arent too crazy tho he doesnt want u breaking up with him now
LOTS of partying
bam is wild and carefree so probably when u guys are younger, lots of house parties that slowly turned into clubs/famous peoples parties as he got more and more popular
NEEDY 24/7
just wants u by his side just to show u off and have u near him
would write u crazy ass stunts to do
he doesnt want u getting too hurt tho
PROTECTIVE AS FUCK
will fist fight if someone ever tries to disrespect u (man or women)
everyone KNOWS u are with him, he makes that clear
behind the scenes though, meaning when no friends or cameras are around and its just u too
hes the most mushy guy ever
just wanting to attach to u and never let go
probably would lick the side of ur face just to piss u off
expect to be at lots of skating venues and events
hey maybe he would even try to teach u how to skate
until u wipe out for the first time and hes laughing his ass off
he makes sure ur fine but he just found it funny
WILL MAKE U LISTEN, GO TO, AND TALK TO VILLE VALO
him is love him is life
also going to cky concerts with him
or really any concert that has a band he knows playing
he can be so mean sometimes
but he loves u
literally such a dick
but hes YOUR dick (literally)
just smack him around a bit and u will be fine 🙏
STEVE-O
ok so he actually might be a little bit more crazy then bam
but hes more affectionate then crazy
with steve-o its a constant adventure theres infinite opportunities on what to do
he could take u out on a nice dinner date or do something extremely illegal with u and now yall are running from the cops
partying is also a constant affair with him (u have a type anon🤨)
he will bring u around show u off and brag abt how much of a amazing girl u are
always has one hand on u at all times
i feel like secretly he just loves to cuddle with u
hes just constantly put doing things so having a moment of peace with someone he loves the most makes him feel more normal
when they are filming for wild boyz i feel like he would make jeff include u in a lot of scenes
he loves giving u bear hugs just all the time
BIG BIG ON PDA
he doesnt care who is watching he loves u and he wants to show that
steve-o is a huge partier too like bam as i have said
but unlike bam with steveo it gets more intense
probably would have to clean up his messes after long nights
that means cleaning up whatever vomit, shit, piss, or drug related things left behind
i feel like living in his apartment would be an experience
just being with him in that era would be crazy
him making u a custom shirt that says to listen to his new rap album 😭
doctor steveos nurse?? yes please
in the end its always an adventure with steveo, at least u know he loves u
—————————
I HOPE U ENJOYEDDD!! :))
#jackass#steve o x reader#steve o#bam margera x reader#bam margera#cky x reader#cky crew#cky4#cky2k#cky3#cky clip#jackass x reader#jackass crew#jackass 2
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WTF??
THAT WAS SO GOOD
the way you describe jungkook and oc’s relationships from both their perspectives is so cute 😞 just the way they talk about each other is so?? omg i don’t even have words. “future mother of my kids” OH HES REALLY IN LOVE. also when jungkook was like “she doesn’t need to be a superhero with me” STFU SO CUTE I CANT 😭 it’s really so crazy that they’re really just saving the world but so gentle and normal with eo.
fuck apollo, fuck ares, kinda don’t know how i feel about hephaestus but yeah fuck him too why not, just fuck all the gods tbh
oh? we’re learning more about jungkook’s past hookups? why is that so funny
i love the way you write oc tho. like her thinking is so real and realistic. she’s secure in their relationship but also has doubts about herself that are totally understandable.
jungkook being so protective lowkey had me blushing 🤭 he was thinking how oc should be more aware of her surroundings to protect herself from perverts and then was like wait no that’s why i’m here
smut was explicit but that was hot and sweet ngl. jungkook really just wants to please his girl
i’m curious about the dream tho like?? anticipating the next chapter already
thank you so much for taking the time to write this amazing chapter!! 🫶
AWWW THANK U SMMMMM <3333 again full transparency i use chatgpt to rewrite sentences bc my ass is soo lazy to think of pretty sentence structures.
im sooo happy that u commented on their dynamic just bc i put a lot of effort into making the little things matter. like i COULD just say some shit like "Jungkook is in love with her and wants to protect her blah blah blah" but i TRY to show it thru his actions.. which is superrr fun given that this is an action story and he can like kill monsters and shit hehe
NO FR FUCK THE GODS!! fuck hephaestus too. in greek mythology hes always been up to some STRANGE and WEIRD activities... but in this fic im trying to portray him as a good father bc he's yn's dad 😭✋
And as for oc , i think she's super relatable 😭 like i COULD make her crazy and insane (as we all r sometimes 😌) but i want to show her rational side . lowkey some fanfic readers are kinda women-hating, for lack of a better term. bc if i give my oc's any flaws, they'll go off in my inbox about how much they hate oc 😭 like damnn she's not actually dating jungkook chillll
i lovedd writing the protective aspect, and i love when guys r protective. not FORCEFULL but idk he was kinda forceful in the fic but it's always hot cause he's like "omg wait, im the strongest demigod in the history of the world, i can take care of her", and i can imagine that it gives oc an overwhelming sense of security cause shes gonna be safe foreverrr
AS FOR THE SMUT AHHHH, i recently started to add smut in my fics, but IM so scared of making it too explicit. Like I don't want to make it too obvious because i feel weird writing words like "dick" or "pussy" jkdfsfkldf
furthermore, i have a theory that a lot of my fics would be more popular if i added some delicious smut to it, but then sometimes i think that oh wait jungkook is a real person and if he saw this he might not like it. which is why i try to add the appropriate amount to make the story make sense and not sexualize him too much?? instead just try to convey the intensity of his love .
as for the dream, i think when i wrote it i wanted to portray y/n's paranoia , which is another reason jk wanted to keep her away from the quest
nonetheless, thank u for ur comments <33, i can tell that u really read the story which means so much to me. I hope u have the bestest day ever anon!!
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Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 07x09 How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters
“Heavy breathing. low frame rate”
“I gotta judge these campers based off of their generator. The fact that they have one is bad enough but whatever”
“Are they even camping? What the fuck is happening?”
“It’s a white tent thing, but they have a whole ass bed frame? What is going on?”
“That must be some good ass podcast or soothing seas or whatever the hell”
“I don’t think that’s the sound of nature. Maybe the sound of nature taking its course”
“Strip enough wire? What the hell?”
“There are easier ways to hook up a generator but ok”
“Like I said”
“Didn’t the gay vampires do this one?”
“Was that actually a pop-up camper? But who has a whole-ass wooden frame in their pop-up? That doesn’t make sense to me”
“Funny coming out of an actor’s mouth. Just saying”
“I gotta wonder who wrote some of these lines. You don’t just come up with some shit like “rogue brown.” I mean, I certainly wouldn’t”
“Alright. Code Brown let’s go”
“She’ll eat your ass. Dude”
“I have to rewind this. This is good”
“Why would you put those words together? Sleeping bags aren’t normally water proof”
“Are they really pulling out all these camping jokes?”
“This lighting is way too good for a chain restaurant”
“The fuck?”
“I feel like him getting mad is somewhat relevant”
“What the fuck is up with the hunting rifles? I mean they talk about it, but they don’t use them every episode. Plus, they look like pellet guns”
laughter
“What the fuck. So they went to a basic ass rifle with open sights. Ok Why the FUCK do you have an under-barrel mounted flashlight on a hunting rifle?”
“I mean the flashlight makes sense in the sense they have a flashlight, but you’re going to ruin your night vision. They should use a red light and a green laser”
“I was about to say…you didn’t need to cuff it or anything?”
“Don’t bother checking if it’s actually dead”
“I don’t think that hood closes very easily”
“You’re always fkn hungry”
“pine cones. Sure”
“That’s a Leinenkugel’s beer”
Eventually they use Jensen’s beer
“Did he name it after stuff in the show? What a nerd”
“That’s pretty fucked up”
“He should probably go puke now”
“Why the fuck do you need a white tyvek overalls for delivery groceries?”
“You wouldn’t be handling the food; youre handling the boxes”
“What a fkn die job”
“Whose crotch are we watching? I can’t tell”
“Dick must be a real dick”
“That makes sense. I mean he does keep coming back to life so Bobby might get the chance”
“We’ve got black SUVs with terrible fitment. Must be government”
laughter
“That was a Hollywood political statement”
“Wouldn’t eating turducken on the daily cause weight gain already?”
“How are you supposed to hear what it hears when your voice is reflecting off the concrete in front of you?”
“I mean, if you had the gains set high enough, you’d shatter your eardrums, but they shoot guns a lot with no protection so their hearing is already fucked.”
“Does he have to eat his own hand or something?”
“Pretty good lookin’ gun. Nice and polished.”
“Grab the other gun, Bobby”
“That was some Mummy shit right there”
“Bobby’s being slow”
“is he dead or something? Fuck”
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I kept seeing people talking about this new anime on Netflix. I went into this thinking that it was going to be an action shonen with some--SOME--fanservice. I was wrong. I was so very wrong.
I just need to get through some of these reactions I had whilst watching:
--Ok, so she has to summon this big bad wizard guy by kissing the teen that he is imprisoned in? Alright that sounds like it can lead to some funny and cute interactions.
--Oh he nakey
--This big bad wizard's plans for revenge and world domination come to a halt because the short redhead said so!
--Boy you coming on a little strong. And Girl! Get it together! I can tell you what you're feeling and you're just horny. I promise.
--HA! He's a little kid again!
--This outro has a lot of nudity. Surely this is as bad as it gets! Onto the next episode!
What a stupid little fool I was.
--ok we're starting off with redhead having a wet dream about big bad wizard guy. That seems about right.
--Of course they have to summon big bad again.
--I think I miscalculated how sexual this show is going to be
--oh...oh...OH!
--Okay, I have figured out that this show is like 20% epic battle and 80% everyone is either naked or fucking horny!
--And our main girl has been kidnapped. This outta be fun!
--Alrighty. We are at the castle with the evil kidnapper. What's gonna happen?
--A slime. Really? You just happen to have a slime monster that dissolves only clothes? REALLY?! Fine! Okay! Why not!
--Why does no one believe in underwear in this show?
--SIR! Can you ask for help getting rid of the poison in a little less slutty way?
--Gotta love where Dark Daddy's priorities are! Redhead deserves the right to kick your ass even if you did just save her!
--FUCKING FOURTH WALL BREAK!
--Sir. Sir! Can you not tell that this is an obvious trap? Some hot chick comes running out of the woods chased by a giant spider monster and now she's saying she happens to live nearby? RUN!
--Oh! Of course! Yeah this is a totally normal tradition! Totally not a trap! Listen to the dragon! Do not have sex with the girl!
--Told you it was a fucking trap and now you have a giant spider on you!
--Are you seriously trying to get it in after she tried to kill you?
--Bitch! Girl! You have a mission! Do not be giving up the mission for some dick!
--THE FUCKING CANDLES! I'M DYING!
--ok haha. he didn't get to have sex cause girly here came from just an ear nibble. That doesn't mean you can't still do stuff! It's called multiple orgasms guy!
--Also where the fuck is your entourage? I doubt redhead chick would be just letting you roam about the earth on your own after you talked about conquering it.
--okay now we got a pretty boy come to kill our pervert protag!
--Why do I get the feeling that Dark Daddy over here is going to end up saying he swings both ways and seduces his way out of this one too?
--And pretty boy is actually a chick. Boo! But wait! That means lesbians! Hell yeah!
--I refuse to call him by his actual name cause it sounds stupid. So Dark Daddy he will remain.
--He's turning into a statue!
--KAMEHAMEHA!
--Blondie! Where the hell did you come from? Was that one orgasm worth this loyalty?
--BETRAYED LESBIAN! NO!
--and he's naked again
--Why does no one's clothes stay on in this show? Oh and now there's a giant turkey monster!
--Girl just ass out
--Dark Daddy is just building a harem at this point. This entire anime is just a thinly veiled hentai where the girls keep getting orgasms and he gets none.
--Lucien is taking back over! Ha! IDK where Yoko is kid. I'm sorry.
I need to stop. I can't watch anymore of this tonight. I'm entertained but at what cost?
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Chapter Three- for now i'm only people watching
people watching - conan gray
POV: Kenneth McCormick
I don't think I really ever.. Worry. I've never necessarily had to. Whatever I'd worry about would usually be gone by the next morning.
But whatever that was.. That was different. Why I worried that much about my friend, I'm not sure. I mean I have a right to worry, it's just.. Weird that I showed it.
I closed my locker and the clang could be heard down the hall. Nobody paid any mind to it; everyone was all caught up in their own conversations.
I walked down the halls alone, if I'm going to be all emotional I'm NOT doing it infront of any of my friends. I wafted past each group of people, finally entering my first period classroom.
Sitting at my desk, I lay my head down. Yesterday was rough. And it was.. different. More different than usual. I'd like to say it was the reason I'm suddenly so emotional, but normally I don't get caught up on that. It's always been easy to hide. So why now?
The first bell rang. Five minutes.
I pull my hood further over my head trying to achieve full privacy as I rest. Chatter enters the room as my classmates arrive to class.
My peaceful attempt at a nap was soon interrupted by one obnoxious voice.
"Why hello, Kenny."
Without sitting up, I raise my middle finger in Cartman's direction. I can smell that shit-eating grin from here.
"Kenny~. Since you wanted to be a good boyfriend to Butters~ and make him not do my math homework~, you get to do it."
A plop of papers sounded right next to my head.
"Thank you, Kenny~, I knew I could count on you~."
I sit up and stretch all whilst giving Cartman what I like to call a death-stare.
"No fuckin' way. Nice try, fatass."
"Ay!" Cartman points a finger in my face. "I'm not doing it and Butters isn't doing it so that means you do it!"
A simple roll of my eyes is the response I give him.
"Fine, fine," he settles down. "If you would prefer not to, I can always get you a room." He stands up and yells "To suck Butters's dick in!"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! I'm not- Butters doesn't- God! Just do your own goddamn homework!"
As Cartman opens his mouth, the bell rings. Being saved by the bell would be the right phrase.. If it wasn't for Cartman.
At this point, the teacher has not yet entered the room, meaning the whole classes attention was on him.
I stand up and slap his homework back on his desk. Then I pick up my bag and move all the way to the back of the classroom.
He's got a tremendous stick up his ass and I am NOT going to deal with it this early in the morning.
---
First period went as smoothly as it could've after that whole fiasco. Second period gave me a bit of a break. Third period was actually pretty fun. And now I set off to 4th and 5th period.
I have a 2 period block for that class and, what would you know, it's got my friends (plus one dickhead) in it. Not especially looking forward to it. Not after..
A couple claps on my shoulder causes me to whip my head around. Kyle walks behind me with a giant grin.
"Boy you really made Cartman mad!"
"It's not really that hard."
He laughed at this and nodded. "That's true. I just wanted to let you know how fucking funny it is to me. He kept saying shit about you and Butters making out and how that connects to his math homework?"
We both laugh whilst we walk into the classroom. Kyle sets his bag on his desk and I drop mine on the ground next to my desk.
"But are you really?"
"What?"
"Are you really with Butters? Making out, fucking eachother, all that shit."
I tensed up a lot more than I assumed because Kyle definitely noticed. "What? No. Cartmans just saying that because he's.. Well he's fucking Cartman."
Kyle shrugs and takes a seat. "Alright."
A few seconds later, Stan enters the room and takes a seat next to Kyle. He greets me and they start talking about God knows what.
People file into the classroom and before I know it, the bell is ringing.
Leo rushes into the room and practically collapses in his seat behind me, Mrs. Garrison following soon after.
"Alright class, have I got the lesson for you. About Mr. Slave."
The whole class is either on their phone or asleep, all pretending to pay attention though.
"Who remembers Mr. Slave? Right, right."
Does she ever actually figure out any lesson plans?
"Well when I was out shopping, guess who I saw? No, not Mr. Slave. I saw-"
The door to the classroom opens and in walks Eric Cartman.
"Eric, you're late."
He halts in his steps and puts on a charade. "Oh, oh thank you Mrs. Garrison, I had no idea!"
His charade promptly drops as he moves to sit behind Leo. Fucking hell, he is getting on my nerves today.
As Mrs. Garrison continues her story, I hear Butters and Cartman talking behind me in hushed voices.
Stan and Kyle were happily texting each other underneath their desks.
On the other side of the room, Wendy and Bebe giggled to each other.
Clyde set his feet atop his desk, almost leaning back into Tolkien who was too asleep to care.
Everyone in the room was doing their own thing.
I reach for my notebook and begin doodling whatever comes to mind.
Boobs.
Lots of boobs.
Me.
Mrs. Garrison who never shuts up.
Me sleeping.
Boobs again.
Butters.
Cartman being an asshole.
Kyle and Stan being gay.
Boobs.
Butters.
With flowers and hearts and.
I shut my notebook and shove it back in my bag.
A forlorn glance at the clock tells me there are 10 minutes until lunch.
10 more minutes.
----- end of chapter
< previous ~ next >
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Hi!! If you get this, then it's your excuse to infodump, ramble, rant, vent, or whatever about whatever the hell you want!! Save this till u have something u really wanna talk about, or answer it right now, then send it onto people u think are bursting with stuff to say!!!
okay fuck it here i go ramble about issues time my dudes
sometimes i really want to cry and i have no fucking clue why. whenever i talk to people i feel like im being too much and being to annoying. i hate teen titans go, who the fuck lets a show air and lets it give out stereotypical villains/characters about people from different countries? hm? i forget vol. 333 of tmc exists and ill openly say that. i listen to problematic singers and im clueless about it. i hate everything about myself, i look to feminine and am an ass. my ex was right on me using people to my own advantage, i do that, a lot. im 99.9% sure im mentally unstable and might have the tism but i cant say anything. im also 99.9% sure my parents are abusive but thats not the problem in my life right now. everyone i know is getting annoyed or sick of me i dont like it. anyways. i hate my name, have i ever mentioned that? i hate it. anyways uh. i suppose that its all stupid, life in general. who in the hell said ‘hey lets make a species and give it endless pain and suffering’ WHO THE HELL SAID THAT??? anyways i love the song ex-wives, no word can describe how much i love that song. uh. i wanna cry half the time? thats normal uh. sometimes i fantasise about murdering people, thats normal. whenever a spotlight flashes down on me or near me, death just comes up in my mind, like: ‘is this what death is like’ or ‘i wonder what comes after death’ and its honestly fucking funky. i am a horrible person, really but then everyone says im cool/not an asshole/nice and i just agree. i have no gut to tell people theyre using the wrong pronouns or name for fear they turn on me and make me seem like the bad guy. im treated like a monster for my anger issues. i hate children sometimes, i kick them a LOT. reading over this i think i need pshyciatric help. my parents neglect me for my siblings because hey im the oldest and i can look after myself!! no i cant im literally distracted every five seconds i cant even do my homework. i want to pelt my art teacher into the endless abyss along with my gym/pe teacher like jesus christ i hate those two more than i hate children and thats saying something. i self reflect on every single character i roleplay as or create so thats also saying something. uh, ive broken many bones, not my own, others’ bones and thats funny. i threaten to bash people’s heads into the ground when im annoyed and thats worrying. i also threaten to cut off their dicks.
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I'm Only A Crack In This Castle Of Glass (Hardly Anything Else I Need To Be) PT. 3
Batfamily x Batsis Story!
Word Count: 2.1K
Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst!
Tags!: @itsnottilly @cloudyskylines
Author's Note: DUN DUN DUN!!!! Y'all enjoy this now, because it's only gonna get so much more angstier soon. -Thorne
Set Three Months After PT. 2:
She didn’t have to look up to know who entered the shop, because his voice carried over the air. “Melisandre!”
Humming, she immediately plated a pastry and a hot coffee, sliding it on the counter just as he sat down. “Good morning, Wally,” she greeted, watching him take a bite. “Right on time, as always.”
He smiled, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. “Morming Merisamdmur,” he replied, and she rolled her eyes with a snort.
“Jeez Wally, didn’t your mom teach you to not talk with your mouth full?”
Shrugging, he swallowed and said, “I was trying to be polite.”
“I think it’s more polite to chew with your mouth closed and speak after you swallow.”
They glared at each other before one of them cracked a smile and they fell into laughter. She tossed a napkin his way. “How’s your day going so far?”
Wally groaned and laid his head on the cool marble countertop. “I’ve got so much to do today, it’s not even funny.”
“Well, well, Wally the procrastinator is finally feeling his toes at the fire, huh?” She ignored his glare. “What do you have to do?”
“Barry needs my help with my cousins and my friends are coming over today to hangout and I haven’t bought any food or drinks for that and I have yet to even start cleaning my house.”
She giggled and reached over, patting his head sympathetically. “There, there, Wally. Everything will be alright. Why don’t you just bring your cousins over to your house and watch them while you hang out with your friends?”
“Because my cousins are annoying and I’m not subjecting my friends to that,” he countered and propped his chin on his palm. “Unless…”
She cocked a brow and waited for him to continue and he offered, “You come over with my cousins and help me watch them?”
“No.”
“What! Why?”
“Well for starters, I don’t know your friends and it would be weird for me to just show up.” She countered.
“They’ll like you though!” he cried, and his hand shot out, wrapping around hers. “Please, Melisandre!”
“Wally, I’ll just watch your cousins at my apartment and Iris can just come get them later, that’ll be easier and won’t force me to sit in a group of people who don’t know me.” He tried to speak but she tossed another napkin, hitting him in the face. “I’m watching Dawn and Don so you and your friends can hang out without being bothered, and that’s final.”
His face pinched. “You sure you can keep up with them?”
Something passed between them and she quirked a brow. “I can keep up with you, can’t I, Wally?”
Wally chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, that’s a fair point.” He glanced at her. “They would like you though.”
She ignored the comment in favor of, “Tell me about them. What are they like?”
He inhaled sharply and took a moment to think. “Donna’s strong willed, Roy’s loud, Lilith likes to get in your head, Garth is easy to annoy, and Dick’s kinda the glue that keeps us together.”
“Dick? He get that from Richard by asking nicely?”
Wally barked a laugh. “Oh, I’m definitely gonna tell him you said that.” He nodded. “But yeah, his name is Richard Grayson, but he goes by Dick.”
Her eyes almost bulged out of her head and she was lucky that Wally was looking at his watch then.
Don’t ask. Don’t do it. Leave it alone.
But she couldn’t stop herself.
“Richard Grayson?” she feigned. “Why does that name sound familiar?”
Wally met her eyes. “Bruce Wayne.”
She snapped her fingers. “Right! The ward.” Wiping the counter, she added, “I heard they added a new addition to that family too. A daughter, right? Cassie? Cassidy?”
“Cassandra,” Wally corrected. “Yeah, that’s Dick’s new sister.” He put his elbows on the counter. “She’s nice, doesn’t talk a lot though.”
“The quiet one, then?”
He laughed. “Of them all.”
Don’t dig any deeper, (Y/N). Keep your fucking mouth shut and let it go.
“I always wondered what happened to that other daughter he had,” she murmured, and Wally’s face blanched like he’d witnessed a murder.
“What?”
She met his gaze. “He had another daughter. I think her name was (Y/N).”
He swallowed thickly. “He does.”
“Does? She’s still around?”
“Yeah, she’s in some Italian villa.”
“Wait really? I thought she died or something?”
“What? No! She left—” Wally snapped his mouth shut like he was about to reveal a secret, but she knew anyways. “She left and went to Europe for a mental retreat.” He finalized and she wondered if that was the story Dick told him to say if anyone asked. Or maybe it was Bruce.
“It’s been like three years now, right? You’d think she’d post something on social media.”
“The whole point of a mental retreat, Melisandre, is to get away from social media.”
Oh please, I know plenty of elite who do that shit and still post crap on their socials.
“There’s no way that girl hasn’t.”
“Why do you say that?”
She scoffed. “Oh please, she’s the daughter of a multi-billionaire. There’s no way a girl that wears Gucci belts and carries Prada purses keeps herself off social media.”
Wally’s eyes narrowed like he was thinking hard about something and she internally cursed.
Oh, smooth move you dumbass.
She coughed and waved a hand. “Well, it’s all theory anyway.”
After a moment, he nodded. “Yeah…theory.” Wally got to his feet and handed her the empty plate. “I should go ahead and get back to my place and clean up before they get here.”
“Have fun,” she smiled, and he grabbed her arm.
“Take a pic with me.”
“What? Why?”
“So, I can tell my friends about you and prove I’m not lying.” He pouted. “Pretty please, Melisandre?”
Don’t do it. Dick will know. You know he’ll know.
She smiled despite her internal thoughts. “Sure.”
Wally grinned and raised the camera where she was in the background. She threw up a peace sign and gave a cheesy grin, momentarily blinded by the flash of the camera.
She spun and filled a bag with pastries then handed it to him. “Here, so you can give even more proof.”
Wally took the bag and hopped onto the counter, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks Melisandre!” And he was dashing out the door.
You’ve ruined it all. This is going to come back to bite you in the ass. And it’s going to come quicker than you think.
She frowned and wiped down the counter again, trying to ignore her thoughts. Maybe. Just maybe, it wouldn’t.
***
Waving Barry and Iris off, she smiled as the twins climbed into the backseat of their car and the taillights signaled their departure. She closed the door behind her and glanced at the mess the two tornadoes had left. Even for the little she had in her apartment, they sure did know how to make a mess.
She sighed as she bent over to pick up one of the cushions when her doorbell rang and she stood up, confusion coming over her as she made her way to the door.
“Hello?” she asked, and a muffled voice echoed from the other side.
“Melisandre, it’s me, Wally. Can I come in?”
She opened the door, surprised to see him. “Wally? What are you doing here? I thought you were with your friends?”
“Yeah, I told them I had to do something really quickly,” he said as entered her apartment. He took a moment to examine her living room. “Man, Dawn and Don did a number here, didn’t they?”
She chuckled. “We had fun building forts.” Nudging him in the side, she added, “I don’t mind the mess.” She looked at him. “Do your friends know? About you being…you know?”
He nodded. “We’re all special in some way.”
Understatement there, Wally.
“So, why tell them you need to do something then come to me? Is everything alright?”
Busying herself with the couch cushions, she waited for him to explain, but nothing could’ve prepared her for his words.
“It will be once I get to the bottom of it…(Y/N).” She froze for a split second, but it was all he needed. “It really is you, isn’t it?”
(Y/N) stood upright and gazed at him. “When did you know?” Her voice was a lot colder than she meant for it to be.
“I had suspicion for a while, but when I showed the picture to everyone, Dick said it looked like you.”
“Really?” she laughed. “I thought I did a good job changing my appearance from three years ago.”
Wally didn’t laugh, he merely gaped at her. “Why?”
“Why what?” (Y/N) knew what he was referring to.
“Why’d you just leave?” He took a step towards her. “Do you have any idea what your family has gone through since you disappeared on them? The grief? The shame?”
She shrugged. “I explained everything in the letter I wrote my dad, Wally. There’s no reason why they should still be concerned with me.”
“They love you!” he shouted, taking her by surprise. “They love and miss you so much!”
“My family ignored me for eighteen years straight, Wally!” She yelled right back. “What was I supposed to do? Sit and pretend being forgotten was all normal?!” (Y/N) couldn’t help but shove at his chest. “I chose to leave because my next choice was taking a swan dive off Wayne Enterprises!”
His eyes went wide, and she shook her head. “I left because the only person who cared about me, was me.” She turned and fixed the final couch cushion while he watched her do so.
“They’re still looking for you, you know. Dick is always staring at his phone hoping there’s a text from Jason or Tim that they’ve found a sign of you.”
(Y/N) sighed. “If you’re trying to guilt trip me, Wally, it’s not going to work.” She shot him a glare. “I got over the fucking guilt the second the flight to Central took off. I got over the fucking guilt the night I laid in a hotel room bed curled into a ball where I cried myself to sleep. I got over the fucking guilt the moment I realized I’ve done so much better on my own than when I was there.”
She marched up to him and got in his face. “I got over the fucking guilt when I realized Barry and Iris Allen were more of a family than four brothers and dad ever were.”
They glared at each other and finally, she let out a sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve already started a new life here and I have no plans of ever going back.”
“At a college that doesn’t have a real name. You know that’s illegal, right?”
(Y/N) scoffed. “What’re you gonna do, Wally? March into four-C and tell them Bruce Wayne’s daughter is going to school under a false name? We both know you wouldn’t.”
“I’ll tell Dick,” he suddenly shot back, and she went rigid.
“You wouldn’t dare,” (Y/N) threatened and he took a step towards her, getting nose to nose with her.
“Try me.”
They stared one another down and she said, “I think you need to leave, Wally West.”
His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I guess I should.” He spun on his heel and marched to the door, but stopped when she questioned,
“Are you really going to tell him?”
Wally gazed at the ground for a moment then he murmured, “…No…it’s not my place to.”
(Y/N) swallowed and nodded. “Thank yo—”
“Don’t thank me, (Y/N). I’m lying to my best friend about knowing the real location of his baby sister he misses dearly.”
She looked away. “Cassandra is his baby sister now. He should focus on her.”
“You really have no idea about what they feel for you, do you, (Y/N)?” He asked, and she grunted.
“Get out, Wally.”
“Don’t worry, I’m gone,” he spat, slamming the door behind him, hard enough that it shook the walls that held the doorframe.
(Y/N) stared at the door for a few moments then cursed sharply and collapsed onto her couch, eyes directed to the ceiling. Three years down the drain in one conversation.
Way to go, (Y/N). You did a spectacular job of keeping it all under wraps.
She groaned and picked herself off the couch, not caring about the mess as she headed to bed. She’d deal with it all in the morning.
#batfamily x reader#batfamily x reader imagines#batfamily x reader imagine#batfamily imagines#batfamily imagine#batsis x batfam#batsis x batfamily#batsis x batfamily imagines#batsis x batfamily imagine#batsis imagines#batsis imagine#batsis#batfamily#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#cass wayne#cass cain#cassandra cain#cassandra wayne#black bat#batgirl#wally west
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PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEE DO A COMPLETE A-Z NSFW ALPHABET OF ARMIN!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE ALWAYS JUST DOES SOME LETTERS!!!!!! WE NEEEEEEEEEEEED ALLLLLLLL OF IT!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🤝deal
warnings: smut / nsfw 18 + ( somnophilia, breeding, dubcon / dumbification / overstimulation
a // aftercare ( what they're like after sex )
he gets very very clingy, very affectionate. really likes to show how much he loves you afterwards. clean up is a more mutual thing, you both help each other wipe off spit, cum, lube, etc afterwards. you both also like to take a nice warm bath after
b // body part ( their favorite body part, on them and you )
his: his arms. mainly because he can hold you in them and likes to squeeze you real tight. he may not be the strongest but he's very proud of how strong he is
yours: tits. armin is a tits guy sorry. big or small he loves your tits so much, loves the way they look in his hands or covered in hickies. just loves 'em.
c // cum ( anything to do with cum )
his favorite place to cum is on your face. yes. it sounds a little lewd for him but he looooves to see your pretty face all red and painted in his cum hehe
armin cums a lot. like a lot. i don't make the rules. his dick is just so sensitive he can't help it. when he cums in your mouth it's always a full swallow or two.
d // dirty secret
y'all already know this. armin is a closet perv and no one can change my mind. he's a fucking pervert. panty snatcher, watches you shower, gets off to you sleeping. everything.
e // experience
armins not experienced but he's very smart so he knows what's up. and he's a quick learner. it's very easy for him to get you off once he knows what you like.
f // favorite position
missionary is always a classic, he loves seeing your face as he's making you feel good. it boosts his ego a little
but doggy WHEW armin goes fucking insane for doggy. he loves hitting it from behind to see the way your ass ripples as his hips meet yours.
g // goofy ( are they more serious or humorous in the moment )
if something funny happens he laughs, but he doesn't just mess around the whole time. sex is an intimate thing for him and he likes to keep it more serious... but it's always light hearted
h // hair ( how well groomed are they )
clean but not bald cuz he thinks it makes his dick look weird LMFAO
i // intimacy ( how intimate are they in the moment )
he's an intimate guy, he loves loving you. he loves being close to you, he loves pleasing you. when it's about you it's about you all the way though. he wants to make you feel happy and content.
j // jerk off
he's a closet perv so of course he jerks off... what can you expect? obviously he always prefers it was you but if you're not there and he needs to get off, he needs to get off.
k // kink ( one or more of their kinks )
whew this is a list isn't it.
overstimulation: whether he's receiving or giving he loves it. he loves when he can barely control his body from twitching because it feels so good. but he also loves watching you shake and come undone over and over and over
thigh riding: he's so amazed on how you can get off on only his thigh. it makes his dick throb so fucking hard for you. even if you don't touch him he could still cum from watching you.
dumbification: he may not be the strongest guy but he has stamina and will use it. he loves to see you all fucked out and trembling, even if it means overstimulating himself in the process.
somnophilia: consensual of course.. armin loves to finger you while you're asleep... listening to your shaky moans as you begin to stir. he also loves waking up with your lips wrapped around his cock
breeding: this ones little. he just loves the idea of having a family with you, it makes him so happy
l // location ( where they like to do it the most )
bed, specifically yours. it's a territorial thing for him. you're his and his only and he's gonna let you know.
he also like it up against a wall, your hands just grabbing onto him for dear life as he plows you up it
m // motivation ( what turns them on )
literally anything turns him on. and when i mean anything i mean anything and everything. you're just talking? he's hard. you're reading a book? bam. he's hard. you're sleeping? hard.
n // no ( their turn offs )
anything that involves hurting you ( slapping, pinching, biting etc ) he could never bring himself to do it ( but he does like receiving it )
o // oral
LOVES eating you out, could do it for houuurs just because he loves the taste. loves feeling your squirm and clench around his tongue and fingers... it literally has him grinding against the side of the bed
he likes receiving too but not as much. gets absolutely weak in the knees seeing your pretty lips wrapped around his dick
p // pace ( fast ? / slow ? / rough ? / sensual ? )
armin likes it slow but rough... languid but deep strokes that reach only the deepest parts inside you. likes being close and pressed up against you while he fucks you nice and good.
q // quickie
he prefers not to do quickies but if it's needed it's needed and he'll be more then willing to get it on with you in a bathroom or closet
r // risk ( are they up for experimentation ? )
he loves trying new things !! anything that involves learning something new he will be so down for. you want to peg him? absolutely!! you want him to choke you? yes!! he loves finding new things you guys can like together.
s // stamina ( how long and for how many rounds )
like i said... armin isn't strong but he has stamina. if life was normal for them i would bet on my momma that he would run cross country. so he can go and go and go for rounds without getting too tired. he just wants to make you feel so good and loves seeing you all fucked out. yes he may be overstimulating himself in the process but it's so worth it.
t // toys ( do they own toys, use toys ? )
not really. toys aren't really something either of you need in the relationship. but as i said, armin is up to experiment and if that means bringing in a vibrator then he's all for it.
u // unfair ( how much they like to tease )
he doesn't hate teasing persay... he just likes getting to the point. he gets very impatient and needy and really has no self control when it comes to teasing.
v // volume ( how loud are they ? )
armin as pretty moans. a little on the feminine side but my god are they music to your ears. cute little whines and whimpers falling from his lips as he struggles to keep his orgasm at bay. whew.
w // wild card ( random headcanon )
likes when u finger his ass... what can i say
x // x ray ( what's going on under the clothes )
he's not huge. maybe 6-6.5/7 inches. but he knows how to use it. it's not the size of the ship... it's about the motion of the ocean. ( pun intended )
y // yearning ( how high is their sex drive )
if you let him, armin could fuck you all day every day. his sex drive is through the fucking roof. he just loves you so goddamn much and wants to be near you all the time.
z // zzz's ( how quick are they to fall asleep ? )
he cleans up, snuggles up to you and is passed the fuck out. he may have stamina but once all the energy he exerted catches up to him he's out like a light. but you don't mind cuz so are you.
#tw: breeding#tw: dumbification#tw: somnophilia#armin arlert x reader#armin arlert x reader smut#armin arlert smut#armin x reader smut#armin x reader#armin smut#aot smut
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lights down low
pt. 2
includes. kuroo tetsurou, bokuto koutarou, tendou satori, sugawara koushi, tsukishima kei, tanaka ryunosuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, nishinoya yuu.
cw. fem reader, phone sex, masturbation, fingering, toys (vibrator, dildo), slight dom, squirting
a/n. Ok I’m really really sorry about this, I had an ask in my inbox and I think I accidentally deleted it or something, I don’t know what happened. its just not there but I’m gonna answer it anyways.Basically the ask was about making a fic out of this video, go watch it for a little bit of context (it is a little nsfw, you have been warned)
After that disastrous prank from the boys, you were left hot and needy. You gather your things from the couch, where previously there was a calm ambient of doing homework, now it was just an uncomfortable place because you were sweating buckets. On the way to your bed you left your notebooks and pencils on the desk and lay down on the bed.
Looking back at those pictures, your imagination was left to run. What could those jim shorts be hiding? The thoughts of them around you, making you feel good in all the ways possible, made your mind wander-- and your hand too.
Sneaking a hand into your cute lacy panties, you imagine its someone else’s hand, any other hand but yours. Your finger touches your clit, rubbing small, light circles around it in a teasing motion.
“H-hah- I...” your hand quickly covers your mouth in an attempt to silence yourself. You take off the damp fabric from your heat, lifting your legs to slide it off and throw it into some unknown corner of the room. The room grows hot, as well as your insides, it know has a lust-like vibe. Your body sits straight taking off your shirt and bra, massaging your breast with your left hand while rubbing yourself with the other one.
A few minutes of this made you bored, reaching for the bottom drawer of your bedside table where you hid all the good things. Your breath hitched at the sigh of the familiar toys, the blue dildo and the small bullet vibrator. Taking your previous place on the bed you turn on the small vibrator on the lightest setting and rub it over your nipples, teasing them and leaving breathy moans to slip out of your mouth.
The feeling of the vibrating bullet on your sensitive nub made you go crazy, thinking about how good it would feel to have one of those sexy boys tease them while filling all of your holes. You dragged it through your entire body, from your upper stomach to where you needed it the most.
You were lost in the pleasure, very lost in the pleasure. Still, you could never be lost enough to ignore the ringing of your phone. Your body jumped involuntarily at the scare, scrambling to find the source of the annoying sound that interrupted your session. That’s when you saw it.
Video call from the group chat.
Not just any group chat, the one with all the men you were just fantasizing about. Fuck. There’s no way you couldn’t join, they would think something is wrong with you, when really you’re just trying to get off. You throw on the shirt you had previously discarded.
“Hey hey hey! (Y/n)~ How are you feeling?~” Bokuto’s teasing, sing-song voice welcomed you into the call after you hit the green button on the screen. Even if the group chat was a big one, a few of them weren’t in the call. The ones who usually went to bed early were gone, so that means Kageyama, Akaashi and Asahi were not in the group call. Memories of the prank made you gush, your slick dripping onto your ass and eventually to the sheets, since you didn’t have enough time to throw on some panties, but that’s fine. It’s not like you’re gonna show them anything.
“I’m feeling good y’know, after being harassed with such lewd pictures I’m feeling just peachy!” the sarcastic tone really evident in your voice. A few of them laughed, some remained silent. You didn’t care, you just wanted the call to be over so you could resume your previous actions. Then Kuroo spoke.
“Yeah here’s the thing (Y/n), if you weren’t reading the chat” which of course you were not, you were too busy trying to relieve the heat these boys had caused you. “We were actually gonna ask you if you could maybe send us something like that?”
“Wh-what?”
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but if you did we would never send those pictures to anyone else” The thought of them, wanting to see you in a picture as provocative as theirs made you blush. Your face turned red at the thought, it all felt too good to be true...like a prank.
“Alright... very funny, yeah right” but the boys could not understand what you were saying, they genuinely meant what they said, so they were taken aback that you wouldn’t believe them. Then Tsukishima chipped in on the awkward silence.
“Does it look like were ki-”
“What’s that?” you heard Tendou question. That’s when you looked to your right and saw the dildo, in all its glory, completely visible to the camera. All this time you’ve been talking while all the boys could see the toy you used- or were planning on using.
You quickly cover it with your sheets and cover your own face with your other hand to hide your growing blush and the tears on the corner of your eyes, for one more embarrassing moment with these boys and you would snap.
“How lewd (Y/n)” Nishinoya spoke, his teasing tone not helping you at all.
“Hey come on guys, stop it” said Sugawara. And then there was an awkward silence once more, honestly, it would’ve been better to be endlessly teased than to be in the thoughts of everyone. You could tell they were all silently judging you by the way they stared at the camera. That’s when you broke down, not full on sobbing, just a few tears that trickled down your cheeks.
“Whoa, hey-- sweetie, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing its jut that I feel so bad, I was about to touch myself thinking about all those pictures you guys sent me a-”
“Wha- wait a second, you were going to touch yourself thinking about our pictures?” Tanaka asked, though you couldn’t tell if he was going to be judgy about it or if he genuinely had curiosity. “As in... put that thing inside yourself thinking about us?”
The nod of your head makes the whole group crazy. Just thinking about you, shoving that toy into your heat with your thoughts fixated on them, that made most of them hard, except for Ushi. He simply cleared his throat and said:
“Can you show us?”
“WHAT?!”
“If you feel uncomfortable doing it then don’t but I think everyone here is hard and we could all use the relief, including you soo...”. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. These men, some of them older than you, even, wanted to see you masturbate.
“Are you sure this isn’t a prank?”
“It’s not a prank (Y/n), we all want to see the same thing so if you feel like doing it, whenever you’re ready would be a good place to start” added Oikawa. You swallowed the saliva that had gathered up on your mouth, by this time, the sheets beneath you were soaked in your essence. Someone looking at this from an outside point of view might have described it as peer pressure, but when you set the camera on the end of your bed and spread your legs to show them how hot and bothered they had made your cute little cunny, well, you didn’t feel pressured at all. In fact it all felt so normal, as if this was something normal friends did.
“Oh my god” “Soo hot” “Spread them wide baby” and other praises could be heard from the phone. All the different voices worshiping you and ordering you around made you feel somewhat safe, like you had lost a bit of your control, but you had given it to the right people.
It should be noted that at this time everyone was hard, including Ushijima. You took off your shirt again and a few cheers from Tanaka and Nishinoya were heard. You then did what you would normally do in a horny night, except of course, with the exception that there was a phone with nine friends in front of you.
“Touch yourself for daddy”
“Uh-huh, I’ll be a good girl for you daddy” pushing your fingers into your hole. “Your cocks are all so pretty” moaning at the sight of they’re long members on the camera, as they used their hands to relieve the hardness.
“You’re being so good for us sugar, put in another finger” Sugawara’s orders made you clench around your small finger, reminding you that it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy you. A loud moan slips past your lips as you enter another finger into your wet heat. “Good girl, now put the vibrator to your clit, darling”
Doing as you’re told you moan at the sight of all of them jerking off to your sweating figure. Tanaka and Kuroo were in the same position as you were, sitting on your bed with their legs spread to get better access to their cocks, Ushijima, Bokuto and Tsukishima appeared to have their cameras right in front of their dicks, just so that you could get a good close look on how their hands were working on themselves. The rest of them were in different positions that you couldn’t make out because you drifted your gaze to the ceiling, searching for something to help you, to save you from the immense pleasure you were having.
The little bullet making you shiver in ecstasy. The way your fingers couldn’t reach that special spot inside yourself made you feel sexually frustrated, but you kept fingering yourself, for the sake of all the hot men who were panting and moaning like crazy in front of you. Even if you couldn’t do exactly what you wanted to, you were feeling very good, and you were so close to your orgasm.
“Pull out your fingers and put in the toy” Nishinoya ordered. For a small boy he had some big balls, (metaphorically)
“But daddy! I-I’m sooo close...daddyyyyy” And you came, your sweet juices seeping out of you as you rubbed yourself with your fingers to gather a bit of your slick. You take that same hand to your mouth, licking all the creamy substance off.
“Ugh, baby” and they moaned out lots of different nicknames, all of them making you clench around the emptiness in your hole. You grab the dildo once again from under the sheets and tease yourself with the tip at your entrance looking into the camera to give the group a good show. Keeping your eyes fixated on the camera you shove the toy into your abused hole. When you feel it reach your pelvis.
“Daddy, y-...y-you’re so deep inside me-... h-hah” the pace you set is slow, as you realize, too slow, even for you. “Its so big d-daddy!”
“Shut up and take it like a good slut” Tsukishima exclaims, which makes you go harder and deeper into your cunt. You lift your head from where it was buried in the pillows and look at your pussy, the way its taking the big toy makes you clench around it, making it harder to pull it out and push it inside.
“(Y/n)- p-please keep going, I-I’m gonna cum”
“I-I’m not-... I can’t-t stop” you say pushing the toy further inside and hitting your g-spot. The volume of your moans increases with each hit to that special spot inside you. “I’m go-...a-ah-ah! Daddy I’m cumming”
“Cum, make a mess l-like the good girl you are d-darling” Suga said in between all his moans. Your insides threw out the blue toy and started spraying your clear essence. You take a hand to your clit to make it last longer. Gushing all over the place, on the bed sheets and even on the phone, which of course only brought the men closer to their climaxes as well. By the time you were finished and taking in what just happened, all of them had released and were just panting in the afterglow of their orgasms.
“Wow” “That was so hot” and other commentaries where made by them.
“We should do this more often”
©️ kaijime 2021 | all content belongs to kaijime, do not modify or repost
#haikyuu smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader smut#kuroo#kuroo tetsurō#kuroo smut#kuroo x reader#kuroo x reader smut#bokuto#bokuto koutarou#bokuto x smut#bokuto x reader#bokuto x reader smut#tendou#tendou satori#tendou smut#tendou x reader#tendou x reader smut#sugawara#sugawara koushi#sugawara smut#sugawara x reader#sugawara x reader smut#tsukishima#tsukishima kei#tsukishima smut#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x reader smut#tanaka#h. pic
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Attitude
A/N: Lord knows I got a nasty attitude when I get in my feelings. I swear I’m working on it 😭 Anyways, when my past entanglments used to (respectfully) put me in my place, it had me feelings some things 🥴 so I’m translating that into headcanons. Hopefully this will get me out of my little writer’s block. Hope y’all enjoy ❤️
Warnings: cursing, implied sexual activity
Todoroki Natsuo:
natsuo is generally an easy-going person so it takes a lot to get him riled up
when you get an attitude, it doesnt really bother him bc he can understand where you’re coming from
but dont get too disrespectful bc he’ll remind you who you’re talking to
like when you do poorly on an exam and it just ruins your mood
you don’t feel like talking to anybody so you ignore his text when he asks you to meet up for lunch
he’ll assume you didnt see it or youre napping
but then he spots you on campus and goes to hug you
he notices you’re stiff in his arms but doesnt think much of it
“did you see my text?” he asks
“yea, sorry. i forgot to respond.”
that makes him give you a side eye bc that’s what you usually say to people when you just didnt want to answer their text
“it’s okay if you had other things to do. you just had to tell me—“
“i said i forgot, okay? sorry!”
his head kind jerks back in surprise but he drops it
he’s a todoroki, so instead of giving you space, the dense™️ gene activates and he’s all up in your business
even though he’s only being a good bf and trying to cheer you up, you’re annoyed af
texts you throughout the rest of your day about how you’re doing even though you respond with two word sentences
shows up to your dorm and you only let him in bc you feel bad
and he brought food
but now you’re regretting it bc he’s just yip yapping away and his cheery attitude is pissing you off
fed up, natuso finally confronts you after you snap at him one too many times
“what’s with the attitude, y/n”
“i don’t have one” (okay miss girl)
“well you’ve been acting like you have one all day”
you smacked your teeth and got up “i don’t care natsuo. if you think i do then you can just—“
“y/n”
natsuo barks your name in a way that makes you turn your head
he grabs your arm and firmly tugs you back on the couch so you’re face to face with his frown
“now i dont know who you’re mad at, but i know it ain’t me. so you can either sit here and have a conversation with me like an adult or i can leave bc i don’t need the attitude”
you: 😮
you keep up an annoyed faaçade but inside youre melting
who knew natsuo could be so assertive?
like damn, okay daddy
you apologize and telling him what’s got you so sour
once you seem relaxed, he goes back to his usual self and y’all end up cuddling until his hands start roaming your body
next thing you know, youre making great use of the couch
needless to say, you were back to your normal self the next morning LMAO
Shigaraki Tomura:
shigaraki is not the one
he might have his moments, but ever since he grew into his role, he expects everyone else to do the same
he lets his friends and loved ones get away with a lot of shit so he doesnt think it’s hard to give him some respect
and usually, it isn’t
but ever since he woke up, he’s been practically ignoring you
you got one kiss and a “missed you” and he kept it pushing
like bitch, wtf?
you know you were being selfish and petty but you went three whole months without dick your man and for him to pretty much ignore you bc he was “busy with his responsibilities” was making you feel some type of way
king of the underworld or not, you weren’t gonna take this laying down
for the next few days you were ms/r. petty 😌
every time he tried to greet you, you’d just nod your head and keep walking
he’d try to kiss you and you’d turn your head so his lips would land on your cheek instead
if you came back late, he’d ask you where you were, just to try and make conversation, and you’d just say “out”
shiggy is confused atp and it’s pissing him off
he didnt have the time to ask you about it before it got bad
there’s a meeting with the higher-ups, talking about the next game plan and you walk in about five min late bc you were held up with a previous responsibility
shigaraki happily regards you
“y/n, good. we wanted to wait for you before we started.”
“oh that’s suprising. didn’t think you’d notice my absense. sorry for the hold up,” you bite before sitting down with a huff
everyone: 😦
you: 🙃
shigaraki: 🤨
the people in the room are sweating bc now that shigaraki was thicc™️ and highkey indestructible, he was actually really scary now
even though you were his respected s/o, no one knew how he’d react
surpringly, he ignores your attitude and starts the meeting; so everyone forgets about it
the meeting goes on and whiles someone else is talking, you notice your bf shuffle his chair closer to yours
you give him a side eye “what do you--”
shigaraki grabs the side of your neck in a firm grip and pushes your ear against his lips
“i don’t know what’s up with you, but watch it, sweetheart” he whispers before he goes back to listening like nothing happened
you: well call me scared and horny!
when the meeting ends, it’s just the two of you and he eventually figures out why you’re being like this
he gives you a smirk and calls you a spoiled brat before laying you across the table and apologizing to you in the best way he knows how
Dabi:
lmaooo funny how you think this man gives a fuck
you’re really beefin with yourself bc he don’t got enough energy to deal with the pettiness
if you act way out of line though, don’t put it beneath him to retaliate
you give him nice, he’ll treat you sweeter
but you give him bitch, he’ll give you bitch back tenfold
it’s the same for you
you’re just as jelaous and stuborn as he is
you’re perfect for each other but still a lil toxic in a good way 💀
one time, you dragged him to go grocery shopping with you (he really hates how much he likes you lmao)
whiles you were a ways away getting something, a woman came up to him and started flirting with him
*spidey senses activated*
you watch from afar, expecting him to immediately turn her down but he “plays nice” and you can see him gobble up the attention
it’s not until she asks for his number that he points to you and she genuinely apologizes before taking her leave
dabi acts all surprised when you throw a soup can in the cart and stalk off
“you good bro?” he asks
“i’m great and i’m not your bro” you say, but there’s a clear attitude in your voice
you couldnt even hide it on your face
he’s mad confused, but dabi doesn’t push it bc he doesn’t time for all that
“okay, be mad by yourself lol”
you weren’t even that mad but now since he wants to be funny, it’s game over
“and you go fuck your other bitches”
he literally turns into that nick canon meme
dabi’s head is spinning
bc wtf are you even talking about, my guy?
“yooo, i dont know who you talking to but i know it’s not me”
“who tf else is here, dumbass?”
now you got him heated and he’s this close to just walking up out the store
but he thinks youre hot when you’re being crazy so he stays
he grabs your wrist to stop you “you’re doing a lot”
you snatch it out his hand, “and you didn’t do enough when that woman came up to you and started putting moves on you!”
ahh, so that’s why you’re angry
dabi’s anger fades and now he’s chuckling
“oh so you think this is funny? i’m not gonna stand here and be disrepsted by no man looking like a fucking burnt piece of charcoal--”
he pulls you into his arms and smothers your rant in a kiss that makes you see stars
you’re lucky the aisle is empty bc you spend the next ten seconds with his tongue down your throat
when he pulls back, he smirks at your speechlessness
“well this burnt piece of charcoal is your man. no one else’s. and don’t forget it, doll-face”
he smacks your ass and walks away leaving you nearly skipping behind him
#todoroki natsuo#natsuo x reader#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki x reader#dabi#todoroki touya#dabi x reader#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#bnha x black!reader#mha x black reader#mha x poc!reader#bnha x poc!reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader
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Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 06x19 Mommy Dearest
“We need to make AI take all of Dean’s face journey and have it write a story that can only be told by stringing those clips together. How many hours are there of Dean’s face? Something something Dean Derangement”
“I need to rub one out; too much Dean”
we had to pause so Spouse could shave his face which is a normal and important thing to do at 9:51pm on a Friday night and not do what he actually said he was going to do
“Smoldering ass”
“Fuck that bitch up”
““$3? It was $2.50 in college at the local brewery”
“Did she just murder his ass? I don’t remember”
“Almost like one of the horseman things”
“LOAD ALL” reading the shell equipment
“That’s one hell of a dehydrated load”
“Took you all week to make 5 shells?”
“laughed at the Cas in his ass joke”
“They said ass a lot”
Rewound to the Cas ass comment
“If he’s in his ass, what’s the bottle you need to rub to get the genie out?”
I believe it’s called the prostate
“This vampire lady’s voice is similar to Meg’s voice”
“Death by cop? But I guess Cas got her so it worked out”
laughter “sure”
“That was a weird transition”
“Little zoom out effect wasn’t my thing”
“worst nickname ever. Smitey McSmiterden?”
laughter
“They’re making poop jokes”
“He’s blocked like a blocked bowel”
That was mean
“Yeah”
“Had to go federal”
“they could have made that joke so much better. It was funny but it could have been better. It was in the delivery”
“Cas’s hair isn’t as on point today so maybe that’s why”
“This is a weird episode”
“Dick”
“the fuck is going on?”
“they’re lying to this guy about the ambulance”
“oopsie”
“Oh yeah, she touched everything”
“nice”
“Only the chosen ones survive?”
“What a mess”
“I wonder how much oxyclean Hollywood uses everyday”
“Ant people”
“Who hates Jefferson Starship that much?”
“They’re not going to bother with the scene? Just leave a ton of bodies behind”
“nice”
“I like the reflection in the glass shot.”
“Couldn’t use a one-syllable word? It’s like two syllables and two words. It doesn’t flow off the tongue very well”
“Way to get locked into a cell so easy”
laughter “blood splatter”
“Cas is covered in blood. He can heal instantly but doesn’t care about his clothes?”
He looks good covered in blood
“Seriously?”
“this got real weird real quick”
“it’s some imagery of them when they were younger. They had this momentum going then a brick wall”
“This is a weird way to look at Castiel without hair. His hair is going to fall out and become bald”
“This is weird as fuck”
“That was dark”
“That bitch gets what he wants”
“He’s missing his head. Rigorous is one way of wording it”
“since when are shotgun shells made out of brass?”
“How many diners do they walk into in this show?”
“I’d love to know how many unique diners they set up”
“That’s not what the name tag says”
“What’s wrong with dragons, Dean? Dragons are awesome”
“Speaking of dragons, they don’t go back to medieval times”
“Just a few huh?”
“Oh yeah. I figured one of these kids were bad in the car”
“Fuck that shit”
“quick pan off to the family. oh no! Blood splatter. Yay!”
“Oh yeah we’re supposed to fell bad because of the mirror or whatever”
Laughter
“That was good. I didn’t see that coming”
“This is very dramatic. They did that all in post though. They kept just zooming in”
“It was all digital zoom and bullshit”
“Thanks, bro”
“Not going to thank him?”
“Man, you’re a fkn angel of the lord thing and you let these two little dudes boss you around?”
“Hello Crowley”
“Oh not yet. I thought he’d be right there”
“Come on. Zoom out a little bit.”
“Come back. I need to stare at your throat some more”
“The face”
“Ohshit”
“What’s he going to do? Doctorize all these people?”
“He just needs the briefcase and stethoscope”
“oh mommy”
“Shit”
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Appointments
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I can understand why they don't trust people here, a lot of them are real criminals after all, but it still feels a bit humiliating to down the crushed pill and empty the entire glass of water while the nurse is watching. I have to show up fifteen minutes before the scheduled appointment to take the first drug, whatever it is, and then sit down and wait for it to take effect. The fifteen minutes doesn't even count towards the reserved time. It's three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, up to three hours each, for four months. That's the sentence to stay out of jail. Miss an appointment, straight to jail. Don't comply with the treatment, straight to jail. Still a pretty good deal. Nine hours per week I don't have any control over, or ten hours if you count this sitting and waiting bullshit, compared to all hours all the time in jail.
I have no idea what the pill is for. Some sort of sedative I'm sure, because I always feel a bit dull and agreeable after. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have followed all the doctor's instructions so readily if I wasn't drugged somehow, at least not the first few times. Now it is kind of a routine.
I show up, take the drug, and wait a bit. Then she shows up and asks me to join her in one of the procedure rooms. She tells me to remove my shoes, jeans, and underwear and place myself on the chair. It's not really a chair. It's like a Z-shaped thing where you place your legs on the padded lower bars so you are kneeling, and then bend forward so your upper body is flat with the top with your head looking down on the floor past the edge of the padded top surface.
She walks behind me and asks if I'm comfortable. Not really. It's demeaning to sit there and expose my ass to her, legs apart, but I guess that is the point of this therapy. How it will address my supposed anger issues is beyond me. Better than jail though. When I tell her I am she secures my hands down by my hip with straps and then proceeds to strap my legs in place by securing my ankles. She says it is for my own safety, so I don't fall off. It's probably bullshit, but she is right in it's not very secure, but tricky enough to wiggle out of. Not that I have tried. She then tips the entire thing forwards. I had a bit of a scare the first time and audibly gasped as I thought I was about to crash face first into the floor with arms and legs tied. Turned out it's just a secondary position of the thing, positioning my ass up in the air.
"Are you comfortable?" she asks again, every time. Again I say I am, strapped to chair, face almost touching the floor, my naked ass high and exposed. She then slowly inserts something into my asshole. It doesn't go that far in, but feels heavy and has some wires or tubes going to it that I can feel draping my leg. It enters easily. I don't know if it is the same device as the first time, but I wouldn't be surprised if they have been scaling up the size slowly. All I can do is look down the floor while she sets me up and then starts the machine.
Just before leaving the room there is a little pinch in the ass as she injects something in my butt cheek. Then she leaves, promising to be back once it has run its program, never explaining what "it" or "the program" is. The first minutes I feel nothing. Then there is movement, though different between appointments. It can expand in width, it can penetrate deeper, it can vibrate, it can rotate, it can change temperature. It often runs through a series of configurations.
I don't know which of the drugs, if any of them, is making me horny but it doesn't take long until I can hear the soft tapping of precum dripping into the metal tray at the bottom of the chair. It's pointless to try to stay alert. You're stuck in the chair for hours with nothing else than looking at the floor and listening to the hum of the machine and the drip of body fluids. You can just as well close your eyes and let yourself drift away in machine-induced bliss.
It's affecting me for sure. The Monday session is the one I'm craving the most. I start getting anxious already Sunday afternoon, feeling like something is missing. So far I've resisted the temptation to buy a vibrator and explore my ass on my own time, but there is little else I can think of on Mondays before the appointment.
It always feels like no time at all has passed, certainly like too little time has passed, when she comes back into the room and gloves up. I'm just zoned out like a stoner and sometimes don't notice her until she removes the thing from my ass. She then proceeds to unlock the dick cage from my dick and balls. Given my horny bliss the dick will shoot up like a bamboo rod. She has some sort of wand that feels pretty thin that she then puts into the ass right up to the prostate. It never takes many seconds of vibrations for me to shoot a load. It feels like they are bigger than ever before. I'm certainly pulsing more times than before, like 6-10 ropes.
She then washes my butt, dick, and balls, and massage them with some sort of cream. Perhaps different ones. Then she picks up a new, probably sterilized, dick cage and locks everything up. She tilts the chair back up again and asks if everything is OK before undoing the straps holding me in place. I answer that everything is OK, but that really undersells it. I'm like a stoner in a post-orgasm haze for at least ten minutes. Then she reminds me to put on my underwear, pants, and shoes before leaving and reminds me of the next appointment two or three days later.
"You're next," she tells me from the other side of the waiting room, interrupting my read of top sexiest men on Love Island list from Cosmopolitan. The selection of magazines is rather limited. "Afternoon," I reply, putting away the magazines and walking towards the door.
"How was the weekend?"
"Hot, as you well know. I didn't do much." I don't tell her I was spending all of Sunday considering pushing blunt objects up my ass to relieve myself.
"It doesn't invite to activities, does it? Go ahead and make yourself comfortable."
In a now well-practiced routine I kick off my shoes, take off my jeans, fold them and place them on the chair just inside the door, remove my boxers, and put them on top of the jeans. Then I kneel in place on the procedure chair and give my dick cage a quick jiggle. Nothing worse than being strapped to some medical equipment and having your scrotum pinched. Then I bend forward over the shelf, and position my arms back, along the sides of my body.
As always before the doctor secures my arms and legs, and tips the entire contraption forward.
"Are you comfortable like this?"
"Yes."
She then deviates from normal procedure by wiping down my ass with some sort of wet wipes and then inserts the automatic douche. I can feel liquid being pushed in and sucked out of my ass a few times, after which she removes the equipment and leaves the room. I'm starting to become anxious. This is the longest I've been in two months without anything vibrating in my ass. I try to flex my butt cheeks to no success.
After way too long someone enters the room again. "Good afternoon, I'm James." I can only move my head a little and can't see much more than a pair of sneakers and the lower part of sweatpants.
"Hi."
He rifles through some papers.
"I understand you've been under this treatment for two months now, correct?"
"Yes." The whole thing feels absurd. Whoever this dude is, he's talking to my exposed ass.
"So you now have a fully developed prostate massage addiction?"
"What? No!"
"No? So, you would prefer to be released and go home now?"
No, I need my treatment, but that is totally different.
"No. You have to do what you normally do."
"You want me to massage your prostate?"
"Yes! Or whatever is normally done."
I can hear the snap of a rubber glove and within seconds a finger is with ease pushing into my ass. He is probing around carefully and deliberately. I want to move my butt to get it deeper, to have it flick across my prostate, but I'm too tied down. He fumbles around like that for minutes.
"You need to get in deeper," I say almost desperately.
"I'm sorry my fingers are only so long," he says, continuing with his ineffectual rummaging. And after a few seconds, like he was carefully considering it, "My dick is longer, though. I can use that if you like."
"Funny," I say, dismissing his joke.
While he continues doing what I must now assume to be deliberately the wrong thing, the thought continues to linger in my mind. Would it really be a big difference between having another man's fingers or his dick up my ass. Yes! Yes, I decide. But why? This is covered by patient confidentiality, right? HIPPA or HIIPA or HIPAA or whatever. No one has to know.
"What if you did?"
"What if I did what?"
He was forcing me to say it. "What if you did use your dick instead?"
"Would you like me to?"
He must be right. I must be addicted to prostate massage. Why the fuck that happened is a later question. I feel like a soda bottle being lazily shaken by someone. I need to be unscrewed.
"Yes. Yes!"
He pulls out his finger and I can hear the sound of latex, him fiddling with his pants, and then without warning feel something thick and warm moving up inside me. I have a slight shiver as it moves past my prostate and further in. It sure is longer than his fingers all right. I can feel the warmth of his body as it touches against my butt cheeks when he finally gets balls deep. He stops there, leans over me, and asks "Are you comfortable like this?"
"Yes," I say automatically before realizing I really am.
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