guys no offense but i think bts are going to d************************
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tim, drunk and coerced into a game of two truths and a lie with jason, dick, and steph: okay ummmm i— haha. i have the highest body count in the family, Lobo has a contract out on me and… PFFT i’m dating a guy
jason, also drunk: well the gay thing isn’t news but i call bullshit on the body count, you’re like 15. the fuck did you do to get Lobo after you?
steph, the only sober one, eager to sow chaos: oh Lobo would never kill Tim, they’re buddies. they’re going out for disc golf on saturday.
dick, possibly the drunkest: tim. tim what do you mean you’ve got a body count higher than B’s. our father is a slut.
tim: nonono Bruce doesn’t kill :( that’s his Ruleeee
jason: TIMMERS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE GOT A BODY COUNT.
tim: ahahaha do you guys have any idea how many assassins i’ve blown up?
steph: TIM. WHAT
tim: [cartoon explosion noises]….KERPLOOEY
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✨️🎄 merry crisis 🎄✨️
wishing the very best to everyone and i hope yallre enjoying some rest time and staying warm inside! cheers!!! 🎉🎉🎉
(captionless version of santa hood underneath)
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Okay but, people are always like "Bruce having dad strength isn't even canon" like, excuse me? The man that yanks his 6' 255 lbs son by the collar of his shirt in like 0.2 secs to save them both from the explosion that said son, dead-weight and reluctant to go, set up? The man that gives a piggyback ride to the same son who struggles and puts up a fight to be let go? The man who strips his bloodied, passed-out 5'5" 125 lbs son of his uniform and puts civvies on him to then carry him bridal-style to the hospital as of he were lifting a feather? The man who carries his dead 5'10" 175 lbs son in his arms for god knows how long? That man?
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