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imagine-that-100 · 1 year

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Will We Talk? | Part 1 |

Description: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 13.2k

A/N: Well hello there besties! Alex stannies your time has come again because I’m back and this short series is going to be soooo much fun! This was inspired by a harry fic I read many moons ago and I just knew I needed to do a grumpy Alex fic. I started writing this fic on the 15th of December 2021 so it’s been a long time coming. That being said part 2 isn’t yet finished (blame @nriacc lol) but I felt we all needed a new Alex ficccc! Big thank you to the author of the harry fic for the inspiration, and to @red---moon and @alovesreading for helping me/ keeping me inspired for this one. I would loveeee to know what you all think so please give me your reactions! Just keep an eye out for the time jumps, it goes back and forth quite a bit but I hope it makes sense. Thanks a million for reading, hope you enjoy x

| My Masterlist |

~*~*~*~ 29th June 2018 ~*~*~*~

Just do it Y/N. Be polite, stop being a child.

Internally, you’re debating pretending that you don’t need another drink and to go back to Katie and Kelly without a new one so you don’t have to suffer what’s bound to be another awful encounter. Alex is standing at the busy bar with his drink in his hand, and you’d think that after 8 years of knowing someone you’d feel comfortable enough to have a chat with them at their best mates birthday party. But no. Not with Alex.

He might just be the grumpiest person you’ve ever met. He’d never once started a conversation with you, it’s always been you making the effort with him since the day you met him.

Truthfully, your tendency to talk a lot more than you should when you’re nervous probably hasn’t helped that. You’d seen interviews of him over the years and it’s clear that he really didn’t like talking to anyone who he wasn’t close to. And you’re not stupid, just because Katie is your best friend doesn’t mean that you’re someone he has to converse with.

Of course over the years you’d seen each other a lot but you’d only had a handful of conversations with him. Frighteningly few of those conversations were just between the two of you, and you were happy with things staying like that.

But this time you’re going to have to brave it. You’d promised Katie you’d grab her another drink along with getting yourself a new one.

The bar is fairly busy with a few people standing around chatting as they wait for their drinks. A few people have been standing there for the majority of the evening in this decently sized function room.

Of course for Jamie’s birthday, and with the band being back off tour for a short break, Katie had thrown her husband an early birthday party because she’s the best wife possibly ever. You’d helped her plan it and sort everything out so she didn’t get too stressed like any best friend would do and you’re so glad everything has gone to plan and Jamie seems to be having a great night.

Equally, you’ve been having a great night too. Getting to see everyone again is fun. You’d not seen Miles for a while nor had you really seen any of the band because they’d been on tour but each time you saw them it was like no time had passed. Miles has always been your favourite to chat to, you think because the both of you are just as chatty as the other so you always feel at ease around him.

You’ve always had a tendency to talk someone's ear off and even more when you’re drinking or nervous. So tonight with you being both tipsy and nervous about seeing Alex standing at the bar, inconveniently for you the only free space being one beside him, you don’t want to go over.

But you need another drink.

Just fucking do it Y/N.

Taking a deep breath you bite the bullet and head over to the empty space at the bar. You’re hoping that you’ll get served immediately but by the looks of the bar staff looking around like headless chickens, you don’t think your prayers have been answered.

Reaching the bar, you put your empty glass back down on the sturdy wooden surface and wait patiently for the bartenders to serve you.

“Hey.” You greet Alex as you turn to face him.

You smile once his eyes meet yours and you see the flicker of recognition in them. You expect a smile or something along those lines from someone you’ve known for almost a decade but no.

All you get from Alex though is a quick, “Hi.” before he glances back towards the rest of the party.

After a second of silence, you have to ask, “How are you?”

“Yeah, good thanks.” Alex smiles before taking a sip of his drink and looking away from you as if he’s searching for someone else to talk to.

Wow, great chat. Why do you actually still bother Y/N?

You make eye contact again and you can feel the tightness in your chest building as if storing up all the shitty conversations you want to blurt out to get rid of the silence. But you also don’t want to annoy him. So you don’t mention anything about the goatee that he’s grown since the last time you saw him. You want to be nice and complement him but you seriously don’t think you can survive the awkwardness of you doing that.

Thankfully you don’t have to think about it for much longer because someone else caught his attention.

Alex’s eyes flicked from yours to someone coming up behind you and you hear a male voice excitedly saying, “Alex, hey!”

A grin comes to the singer's lips then and you watch him as he enthusiastically asks, “Hey man, you alright?”

You've never seen the guy who’s taken Alex's attention before but it seems like they are friends. From Alex’s smile and the way they just shook hands you assume they must be, “Yeah good thanks, where’ve you all come back from?”

“Middle of the month we were in the States, then we went Germany, and we flew back from Denmark yesterday.” Alex explains enthusiastically and you can only imagine him ever being that engaged in a conversation you had with him.

“Christ, and you’re here now.” The guy shakes his head in disbelief, “I don’t know how you do it.”

You tune out of their conversation then and glance back at the bar. You really want your drinks so you can leave before the guy leaves and it gets awkward again.

It’s not that you want to be his best mate or anything close to that, you’d just love not to feel nervous around him all the time. In the beginning the nerves were probably due to you being a fan of the music and you’d never met him before.

Jamie was the most normal person so you didn’t quite believe Katie when she first told you that her boyfriend at the time was in Arctic Monkeys. But then you met him and clearly found she was telling the truth.

You’d met all the band by the end of the year and you got on well with them at various after parties that Katie had dragged you along to in your mid twenties. But Alex has always been quiet and marginally grumpy with you since day one.

Probably your nervous chatter that did it the first time considering he said ‘hi’ to you and nothing else. He just listened to you rambling on until he was pulled away by someone much more important than yourself.

But over the years you got to know him, even if it wasn’t directly through him.

Katie fed you all of her gossip as she thinks of you as her most trusted confidant so when someone in the band annoys her and she can’t show how annoyed she is to Jamie, she’ll have you over for a wine night. So you’re aware of everything that’s just happened between him and Taylor and a certain french bitch.

If he hadn’t have left the French bitch as what she was, a stupid fucking fling, you think Katie may have killed him. She was really close with Taylor and after finding out about the cheating she was round at your house for days trying to yell all her anger away. Obviously she didn’t want to make things more awkward by airing her current murderous feelings towards Alex to Jamie so you’re the one who heard it all.

Of course you disapprove of what he did too. But it’s not your place to have an opinion. You’re just there for Katie. But you have to admit, for Alex’s sake, you’re glad he just left the French girl. Katie would have murdered him if he started seeing her as something more.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by the guy who was talking to Alex accidently bumping your shoulder as he was turning round to head back to whoever he was with. After he apologised and you promised him it was fine, back comes the uncomfortable silence that hangs between you and Alex.

He makes eye contact with you again as he sips on his drink, the smile previous on his lips now gone, and you can feel that you’re about to start nervously chatting to him. So you’re eternally grateful for the voice from behind the bar.

“Hi,” The bartender grabs your attention, “What can I get you?”

Thank you, God.

“Can I get two Amarettos on ice please?” You ask for two of your own drink because you don’t want to come back over if the grumpy fucker beside you is still over here.

The bartender preps the glasses and adds ice before he grabs the bottle of Disaronno and the double ended measure before asking, “Singles or doubles?”

“Doubles please.” You smile and watch as he pours them.

You’re glad he isn’t stingy with his measures because you don’t want to come back for a while, and after pushing the drinks towards you, the bartender asks, “Anything else?”

Smiling, you politely ask, “Can I get a large glass of Montepulciano please?”

“Yeah sure…” You watch as the guy looks around for a second and you know from his irritated expression what’s coming before he even says it. “I’m just going to grab another bottle from the cellar, I’ll be just a minute.”

You smile, “Okay, thank you.” as you can’t even change which wine you’re after because he’s already gone. You feel bad as the guy disappears off but you can feel the nerves bubbling back up inside you.

The silence falls once again, and despite the room being busy and there being a lot of people-watching you could do, you feel like because you’ve known Alex for so long you should be trying to converse with him. You really wish you didn’t care about uncomfortable atmospheres but you can’t really help but avoid it with Alex, you wish you could get over it.

Both of you are awkwardly standing beside each other once more with nothing to say and you can’t stand the stiff air between the both of you. So you end up doing what you do best when tipsy and nervous: You talk.

“I know you don’t like me very much, but I really rate your music and I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.” You begin to nervously digress looking Alex straight in the eye, needing to get rid of the silence between you. You hesitate before oversharing, “I say that, but it took me a long while to get into your new album but I like it now. Think it’s the one I listen to most actually.”

“Right, thanks.” Alex nods, before adding in a little confusion, “At least, I think that was a compliment.”

“Yeah it was.” You nod, your mouth unable to stop from rambling now. “I know my opinion means fuck all in the grand scheme of things but I just thought ‘give credit where it’s due’, right?”

Stop talking Y/N/N, you’re embarrassing yourself.

“Right.” Alex smiles at you, but you can’t help but feel a little stupid under his gaze.

You’ve told Jamie time and time again how you felt about his music, but never once have you felt this awkward about it. It really is just a reaction to Alex at this point because you could tell he just doesn't want to know.

However, just as he looks like he’s about to say something else, probably him finally telling you to leave him alone, you’re saved from whatever it was. Whilst your blundering conversation took place the bartender had returned and had poured Katie’s glass of red and it’s ready and waiting just in front of you.

“That comes to twenty-two all together, please.” The bar man asks and you happily give him your undivided attention as you take a £20 and a £5 note from your purse and hand it over.

“Keep the change.” You smile at the bartender who looks pleased with the tip you’d just given and as you pick up your alcohol carefully you glance back to Alex who’s clearly only watching you because there’s no one else around taking up his time.

He probably wants you to get a move on so he can chat to someone who actually peaks his interest. You half smile at him as you politely say, “Can’t keep the birthday boy’s wife waiting for her drink any longer. See you later.”

“See ya Y/N.” He nods, sounding just as disinterested as when you started the conversation.

Christ. Get me out of here.

Thankfully for the rest of the night Alex is easily avoidable. Most people want his attention all the time so even if he joins a conversation that you’re involved in, he gets ripped away from it.

Miles keeps you entertained for a good portion of the evening, both of you chatting more as you drink more and more. Closer to the end of the night, Jamie gets up and does a speech thanking everyone for coming and that’s when Alex comes up beside you and Miles.

You just about hear him say to Miles that he’s just paid for a drink for him at the bar and for him to go and choose what he wants and then once again, Alex is left standing beside you with a full beer in his hand as you both listen to Jamie’s short and sweet speech.

Obviously, the guitarist brings up his lovely wife and thanks her for everything. Jamie gives Katie a stunning bunch of flowers which you can instantly tell that she loves, but as he hands the microphone over to her, Alex grabs your attention.

“Why do you think I don’t like you?” You're shocked as you hear that question fall from his lips, but you don’t hesitate to be honest with him.

You’re a little taken aback if you’re honest. He may as well have just shouted it at you because you’re genuinely that shocked by the question despite his voice being just above a whisper.

“Erm,” You swirl your drink around the glass before looking up into his brown eyes, “You never say more than a few words to me whenever I see you.”

Jesus, this is fucking awkward.

You see him frown a little then though, and after a second's thought, he asks, “That makes you think I don’t like you?”

“Well, it doesn’t make me think that you’re overly fond of having a conversation with me.” You say with a little chuckle of disbelief as to why you had to say it outloud. “And you’ve never tried to get to know me like the rest of your friends have and whenever I try with you, I don’t get much of a response.”

“Never intended for it to come across like that.” Alex tells you, and he does look like he feels bad, but it’s not like you’re holding it against him. So you don’t need his, “Sorry.”

All your brain is telling you right now is ‘Avoid confrontation at all costs’. You’re really not equipped to have that conversation with him drunk but you did tell him the truth.

“Don’t be.” You shake your head before looking back at Katie, “It is what it is.”

You can still feel his eyes on you and you’re half sure you hear him say the start of your name but your attention is clearly ripped away from him when Katie say’s your name down the microphone.

“Y/N,” She grins at you gesturing for you to come to her, and you see Jamie now holding a bunch of flowers that turns out to be for you, “Couldn’t have done this without you Hun. I had to get you these.”

You shake your head and go over to thank and hug her, leaving Alex watching after you. He just stays in his head and drinks his drink, silently processing your previous words.

~*~*~*~ January 26th 2018 ~*~*~*~

“Hey!” Jamie shouts as he runs through the front door and quickly starts routing around for whatever it is he’s looking for.

Katie says a surprised, “Hi?” and you can see and hear the distaste that he’s back so early.

Tonight Katie had invited you round once Forrest had gone to bed because Jamie was meant to be out for the evening with the lads. She needed a wind down after a long week of work and looking after her toddler whilst Jamie was away doing PR for the new album.

You’re both half way through your first bottle of red wine as Jamie now comes scurrying into the lounge, almost frantically searching around for something. You find it quite funny too because he definitely hadn’t noticed you sitting in his lounge.

That changes a second later when comes towards you and pulls out the messy drawer on the side table just near you. He smiles quickly, “Hey Y/N, good to see you.”

“And you Jamie” You grin, seeing his wife still waiting for him to announce why he’s intruded on your night in.

After scurrying around the lounge, clearly trying to find whatever it is he’s lost, she asks, “What are you doing back here?”

“I forgot my wallet.”

You’re desperately trying not to laugh at Katie’s silent sigh, or when she lets out an annoyed, “You left the door open J.”

You look towards their door and you can see it’s half open, letting all the precious heat inside their cosy house out. The winter air is absolutely freezing and it’s causing a draft that both you and Katie can feel without coats on.

“Al, you tosser!” Jamie shouts as he continues looking around for his wallet, “Don't wait outside come and help me find it, you prick!”

You can almost hear Alex’s sigh as he steps into the house, “Not my fault you left it here.”

“Alex, please come in and shut the door.” Katie waves him in from her seat, “It’s fucking freezing.”

He sighs a little as he says, “Yes, Miss Cook.” before closing the door and walking into the house with his coat wrapped tightly around him.

He looks like he doesn’t want to be out of his own space, let alone be here. He’s not smiling like he usually is when he sees Katie and he’s practically rolling his eyes watching Jamie run around like a headless chicken.

“Ignore him. He didn’t want to come out at all.” Jamie shakes his head as he walks around the lounge and back around the corner to the hall where he came in and heads past Alex and up the stairs.

Katie continues talking to you about your previous conversation and Alex just stands under the open arch between the hall and the lounge. Or that is until you all hear a loud bang come from upstairs.

A few seconds later all of you hear Jamie make another loud bang and Katie inhales sharply through her nose. Annoyance is bubbling through her system when you all hear him say “Shit.” from upstairs, clearly very loudly.

“He better shut the fuck up or he’s going to wake Forrest up.” Katie looks at you with a death glare that’s definitely meant for her husband.

Katie gets herself up from her seat opposite you and walks past Alex to half mute her voice as she yells, “Jamie!”

“Don’t mind me,” She looks from Alex back to you as she half smiles, “I'm just gonna go kill my husband.”

Alex chuckles at that and you let out a little giggle before taking another sip of your wine as you hear your best friend walk up the stairs. That leaves a silence between you and Alex and one that you’re itching to fill. You hate that it’s always awkward between you both.

After taking another sip of your wine, you politely ask, “How are you?”

“Good, thank you.” Alex nods, walking towards the wood burning fireplace that Katie was lighting when you arrived.

You debate mentioning that his hair is a lot longer since the last time you saw him, but you decide not to. The last thing you want is to make anything more awkward, so you go for something that he’s used to talking a bit more about.

“You enjoying the build up to the album release?” You ask, praying the conversation will being to flow a little easier.

But all you get is a half hearted, “Yeah. It’s been alright so far.” as he crouches by the fire and puts another piece of wood onto it.

“Good good.” You smile despite him not even looking your way.

… And nothing. No follow up question about you, not even a smile.

You’re sure he hates you. There’s absolutely no other possible explanation for why he would make things this uncomfortable for you both if he didn’t. You can’t stand uncomfortable silences which makes you more nervous and the need to chat takes over again.

You’d think that someone who does interviews for a living would know how to make people feel comfortable and you know for a fact that he does. You’ve seen a fair few in your time being their friend, and you’d seen Alex interact with his friends and his fans. You have no idea why he makes life so awkward for you.

You try again, hoping to ease your awkwardness by asking him about something he enjoys.

“How did you find writing this one?” Is the only thing you can come up with that you’re genuinely curious about, “I think Jamie mentioned that you got writer's block or something for a while, is that true or was he bullshitting me? Because you’ve always seemed to write and record really quickly from an outsider's perspective.”

“Yeah,” Alex nods with a sigh, still not even glancing at you, making you wish you never asked, “Was difficult at the beginning, got there in the end.”

Wow.

Amazing.

Enthralling story.

Taking another sip of your drink, the uncomfortable tension feels like it's suffocating you and you’ll do literally anything to ease it. Blabbing on about where they are going seems to be the direction you take.

“Where are you being dragged out tonight? Just to the George and Dragon,” which is about a 2 minute walk from here, “Or are you going into town?”

“Heading into town I think.” Alex stands himself back up and tucks his hands back into his pockets, glancing at you as he walks back to the centre of the lounge.

After taking a sip of your wine, you politely ask, “Anywhere nice?”

“No idea.” He shakes his head.

Smiling, you try to make light of the situation. “You really don’t wanna go, do you?”

“No,” Alex shakes his head, and says under his breath probably not meaning for you to hear, but you do, “I don’t even want to be here.”

To you that’s another way of saying shut the fuck up. Biting your tongue after that is difficult, but it's easier than letting him make you feel like shit again.

After drinking your last mouthful of wine, you get yourself up and out of this uncomfortable situation. You don’t bother telling him where you’re going as you doubt he cares but you’re just thankful that you don’t have to deal with him anymore.

Disappearing to the Cook’s downstairs toilet, you’re glad when you hear Jamie race down the stairs a minute or two later, shouting, “Right Al, come on. Let’s go.”

As you open the door and make your way back round to the hall, you hear Jamie say bye to Katie, followed by Alex politely saying goodbye to Katie. He gives her a hug and his eyes make contact with yours as he slips out, not even nodding a ‘bye’ as he leaves, closing the front door behind him.

“Hiding again?” Katie turns to grin at you, knowing just how uncomfortable you find interactions with Alex after years of the same behaviour.

“He’s so awkward.” You nod laughing, but you’ve got better things to be thinking about tonight. “Come on babes, I need another glass of wine.”

Thank fuck for that.

~*~*~*~ 21st September 2018 ~*~*~*~

“Y/N, Hey!”

“Jamieee.” You grin, walking towards his open arms so you can give him a hug.

You walk into his arms and you appreciate the tight hold he traps you in. As you give him a squeeze, the guitarist says, “Missed seeing you in my house.”

You can’t help but chuckle a little at that. After greeting Nick and Kelly as you walked in with Katie, you couldn’t wait to see Jamie backstage tonight. Matt unfortunately doesn’t seem to be around this communal area just yet but you're grateful for the lead singer's absence.

“Ahh well, I've been there more than you.” You tease him, his tour has been so long it feels like forever since you last saw him, “I’ll be sleeping in your bed next.”

“Surprised you don’t some nights,” Jamie laughs as he releases you from the embrace, “You’re both piss heads.”

You can’t help but laugh and nod. You just end up shrugging, “Well, red wine calls us both.”

Both you and Katie can’t help it. You’re just living your best lives and the wine nights you share are the highlight of your week.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” You grin at Jamie.

You’re actually thrilled you’ve been invited to their gig tonight. Them being back home in Sheffield must be awesome for them and the fact that they have four shows back to back at the FlyDSA arena makes you happy too. It’s a proper homecoming. And after a stressful week this is definitely what you needed to let loose a bit.

“Oh, I’m not the one that you need to thank.” Jamie smiles and you think nothing of it, assuming Katie’s told him you have to come.

She usually does that when she’s invited somewhere anyway. She really likes taking you out with her and sometimes out of your comfort zone.

Katie calls you over to the fridge in the communal area where she asks you what you want to start the night off with. You’re shocked as to how much alcohol is in the fridge, there’s got to be at least 30 cans of beer and there’s also wine in there. Bottles of red are left on the side beside it too.

“Fucking hell, I can’t believe they get this much stuff every night.” Your eyes go a little wide seeing the fridge.

Katie laughs at that, “I know they are greedy, I’ll have a route to see what there is.”

You watch her astounded at just how much alcohol is in there. But your attention moves to the scouser who’s just walked through the door.

“Y/N.” Miles calls your name from across the room and you grin when you turn to see him.

“Course they had you come for their home shows.” You laugh, throwing your arms around him.

You adore Miles. He’s been a good friend for a long time and you feel really comfortable around him. Unlike his best friend, Miles seems to listen to what you have to say and he’s interested in it.

It meant that you’d been close for a long while and he always makes an effort to check in with you every month which you love him for. He’s honestly such a good person and you think the world of him.

“I’ve been here the past two days and I’ve been asking for you.” Miles informs you, “I was going to text you but Katie said you were busy?”

“Yeah sorry, I’ve had some planning to do for work and had to see family the last few days.” You shake your head, not wanting to think about all that right now. You grin at Miles, clearing your head, “So glad to be here now.”

“Ooo Y/N/N,” Katie gets your attention and she has a big grin on her face as she tells you, “There's a full bottle of Amaretto in here. Not seen this before.”

“Oooo amazing.” You grin, selfishly loving the fact you won’t have to pay for your own drinks until the after party later.

Miles traps you in another conversation whilst Katie makes you your drink. Before she pours your drink though, she can’t help but wonder why the bottle is there in the first place.

“J?” Katie calls her husband over and when he’s standing beside her, she asks him, “When did you add this to your rider?”

“I didn’t know we did.” Jamie frowns in confusion looking at the bottle of Disaronno. He knows no one in the band drinks it so he asks his wife, “Why? Who drinks it?”

“Y/N does.” Katie tells him, ”It's her favourite.”

“Well, happy days then.” Jamie smiles and shrugs it off, thinking nothing of it.

Drinks flow for a while after that. Now you’ve had two glasses of your favourite, you really feel like it’s a Friday night and you can finally have a bit of fun.

That thought slowly dies though when Alex comes into the room with Matt in tow. You’d seen him a few times since the night you couldn’t get an Uber home from the Cook’s house and he walked you home but he still wasn’t all that chatty with you.

It was a little easier but you were still the one making all the effort and actively trying to make conversation with him. You can’t imagine anything different happening tonight, christ, you’ve still not mentioned to him that you like his new buzzcut.

In fact, you imagine he’ll be a little worse because he’s got everyone who he wants around him and you’re just Katie’s plus one. Thankfully you’re distracted for a minute by the bubbly man that is Matt Helders.

He’s a gooden too. You do love him but you can’t lie, he made a questionable decision with his love life. Why anyone would leave Breana you have no idea.

Like Katie’s rants about Alex doing the dirty on Taylor, you heard the same rants for her about Matt cheating on Breana. Once again, it wasn’t really your place to have an opinion so you just let her rant at you.

But Matt had always been lovely to you, so obviously you wouldn’t bring the things you heard about him into your dynamic. You chat to the drummer for a few minutes and he makes you laugh countless times at how tipsy he is.

You genuinely don’t know how he can perform for two hours when he’s like this before. But you can’t blame him, and he seems to be having fun and you know he’ll put on a good show.

Matt wonders off to grab himself another drink leaving you alone at the side of the now busy room. But you don’t mind people watching, it’s quite a good pass time for someone like you who doesn’t like awkward encounters. Anything to keep you from rambling on like you always do when you’re drunk and nervous.

Your eyes mostly roam over the people you don’t know, you find them more interesting to try and figure out. Guess which members of the band they know and how they’re friends.

But your people watching hobby fucks you over royally. As you eyes glance over at who Alex is chatting too, the singer's eyes connect with yours and you avert your gaze immediately.

You honestly just can’t deal with the awkwardness today. You need more alcohol to deal with that. Being drunk was the only reason you survived that walk home with him.

But turns out you’re not so lucky, because when you glance back, Alex is on his way over to you which almost makes you spit your drink out. What the fuck?

Miles, your absolute saviour, runs into his best friend though and wraps him into a hug which you can’t help but laugh at. He kisses his cheek which makes Alex laugh and the smile lingers on his face after Miles tells him whatever it is he needs to tell him.

They chat for a minute and you just find yourself watching them. They chat so easily. It really makes you wonder what you’ve done to piss Alex off so much that it seems like he couldn’t care less if you were in the room with him or not.

If you had to bet, it would be your nervous rambling. But that’s not your fault. That’s your shyness taking over and your hatred of awkward silences.

Your jaw almost falls open though when Alex smiles at you from over Miles shoulder, and even more so when he moves around his best mate as greets you, “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey,” You say, a little surprised that he’s stopped his conversation with Miles to come over.

“How’ve you been?” He asks, which makes you want to pinch yourself.

Did he really just ask me how I was before I asked him?

You just about manage to smile as you say, “Yeah I’m great, how are you?”

“Good thanks, excited for the gig.” The singer smiles, and you can’t help but find it unnerving that he’s giving you his undivided attention. Alex follows up like he’s curious, “I didn’t think you were coming to any shows?”

“Oh no.” You shake your head, thinking Katie must have forgotten to tell the lads she invited you. “What's better than a gig, right?”

“Right.” Alex smiles, and it shocks you because it actually seems genuine, “Glad you could make it.”

Is he drunk? Why is he talking to me? He’s glad I could make it????? What now?

You smile at each other then. But your brain is all too aware that after two seconds there’s nothing more to say. So as you try to stop yourself from getting skittish, or making it more awkward.

“You been enjoying the tour?” You ask him, but you don’t give him any time to reply because you start your nervous talking, “I’ve seen a few videos and they’ve been good. Four Out Of Five seems to really pop off. I like that one, might be my favourite off the new album actually. But I really like One Point Perspective too.”

“Good choices.” Alex chuckles and you can’t help but silently scorn yourself for being awkward.

God, you wish you could have one normal interaction with him.

“Oh,” Alex’s eyes seem to light up for a second before he tells you, “Follow me a second, got something for you.”

You frown at him, not believing what he said in the slightest. You ask in confusion, “Me?”

“Yeah.” Alex nods and turns with a gesture for you to follow him.

The shock of it is what actually makes you move. You can’t help but whisper a small, “Oh.” though.

He surely has to be drunk?

But what’s mind-boggling is that he really isn’t. On the way out Miles asked him if he wanted another drink and Alex responded yes and added ‘this is only my first, definitely need one more before I go on’.

He leads you out of the room everyone was in and around the corner to where a group of the crew guys are. There’s a quiet word exchanged with who you assume to be the main crew guy and you watch from behind Alex as the guy nods at him and a second later he hands the lead singer something.

You shake your head as soon as you see Alex turn back to you and hold up the AAA pass that’s hanging from the lanyard he’s trying to give you.

“Oh Alex, I don't need that.” You shake your head, “I like watching from the arena.”

Half of them in that room watch from a box which is where you expected to be watching from. It’s no issue to you where you are in the arena, it’s nice enough you were invited by Katie to come tonight for free. Christ knows you wouldn’t have been able to get a ticket on Ticketmaster.

“Come on,” Alex presses on, “I’ve never seen you back here.”

Because you really like watching from the arena. You’ve never been at the side of the stage and you’re not sure if you want to be. You’ll just feel like you’re in the way.

You try to argue your point, “But-”

“No buts,” Alex smiles as he puts the lanyard over your head so it falls around your neck like a necklace. The singer continues, “You can’t be leaving Katie on her own. She’s been missing you for the last two weeks. I’m sure Jamie will like you being at the side of the stage too.”

He gives your shoulders an encouraging squeeze and the smile on his face makes you believe that you’ve swapped bodies with Katie for a hot second. He’s never talked to you like this before.

“Thanks Alex.” You smile sheepishly, not really knowing what else to do other than accept in this situation, “You really didn’t have to do that.”

The singer shakes his head like he doesn’t need your thanks. He just smiles at you and says, “It's nice seeing you here.”

It goes silent for a second then between you and your mind scrambles for something to talk about so this surprisingly good interaction doesn’t take a turn for the worst. You’re thankful it’s not your rambling that ends the conversation though.

Someone from the crew a bit further down the hall shouts Alex’s name then which makes the both of you turn to look at where the voice came from. You both see someone wave and then they tap their ear at the same time they almost do the Asda Price bum tap thing.

Whatever it is goes straight over your head. But Alex seems to understand because he nods and holds up a finger telling him one minute.

“Sorry to be a pain,” Alex says as he turns back to you, “They are shouting me for something about my mic pack.”

“It’s okay.” You smile.

Alex smiles back at you, and he says, “See ya in a bit Y/N, hope you enjoy the show.”

“Always do.” You smile and as you turn back around, you say, “Break a leg.”

The singer just smiles at you and you head your separate ways.

Great. Now you just sound like a fucking suck up. Go and get another drink Y/N/N. For fucks sake.

~*~*~*~

Surprisingly, that isn’t your only interaction with Alex tonight. During the short interval between the encore, when they came off stage both Alex and Matt came over and talked to you whilst Nick and Jamie spoke to their wives.

You were tipsy at that point so you started chatting their ear off like you usually did and Matt of course entertained you, but what surprised you most is that Alex was actually smiling. He actually seemed interested in what you had to say - even if it was just nervous bullshit - and he didn’t try to look for someone else to talk to which was very surprising to you. But that was probably just because Matt was there though.

Expecting that to be it, you didn’t give the singer much thought other than that. Knowing that you’re all going into town after this with quite a lot of people settles your nervous energy. You’ll probably have Katie and Kelly to yourself for most of the night because of their men interacting with everyone who wants to speak to them.

And for the most part you’re right about that. Katie gets you drunk, to the point where you’ve had to stop drinking for about an hour so you don’t throw up in the toilets. But the party is still in full swing and you - along with everyone else - have had a nice night.

You’ve just come back from the toilet and you’re looking around for Katie who has now disappeared from the table you were previously at. Kelly had gone home a little earlier, leaving Nick here to have his fun, so you and Katie had been chatting the night away and you’ll be getting a taxi with her back home because you live a 10 minute walk away from her house.

You just take your seat back at the table you were previously sitting on and pull your phone out. The last thing you wanted to do was interrupt anyone else's conversation so you were happy waiting for Katie to find her way back to you.

Sitting there, your still tipsy mind is paying no real attention to what you’re seeing on Instagram. You do find yourself singing along to the Tame Impala song that's playing in the room which you can just about hear over the noise of the busy chattering.

“Hey,” Alex's voice startles you out of your thoughts as he comes and sits himself down next to you with a smile on his face as he asks, “You enjoy the show?”

“Hey, yeah,” You nod, taking a deep breath to stop your shocked heart from giving out. Smiling, you tell him, “Well done.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Alex grins back at you, and he places a glass down in front of you, “Got you a drink.”

“Oh,” Your eyes go a little wide looking at the whisky glass he’s put down in front of you, “Thank you.”

You pick it up and swirl the liquid around the two ice cubes and initially you thought it was whisky like he’s currently drinking, but you notice the liquid is lighter and a little thicker. Is this your favourite liqueur?

And the singer confirms that it is your favourite drink when he must notice you glancing at your drink. He brings you out of your thoughts and you look back at him as he speaks.

“You drink Amaretto on the rocks when you’re out, right?” Alex nods down to your drink like he’s worried he got it wrong.

“Yeah, yeah.” You nod, completely baffled that he knew that about you, but you smile nonetheless, “Thank you, you didn’t have to get me that.”

Christ, what a good guess on his part.

Alex smiles, “Least I can do.”

You take a sip of the drink and you can’t help but love the taste of it. And after not drinking for an hour or so, the taste is lovely and refreshing on your tongue.

“Did you enjoy your show?” You ask to fill the silence between you.

Granted the noise in the busy room makes his absence of conversation not as bad, but you hate the awkward feeling in your chest. Talking always makes it feel better and your tipsy self can’t control what you say anyway.

“I bet you don’t hear that a lot, or I guess you might.” You ramble, “But I imagine, with performing like that, you just get a lot of people telling you that they enjoyed themselves despite you maybe not feeling it was your best or whatever.”

You notice his lip twitch up at that and you feel like you’ve just shot yourself in the foot. “Sorry, that made it sound like I’m saying you were shit. I’m not. You weren’t. I’m just saying, bet you don’t really get asked a lot. So yeah, um, sorry.”

After the singer takes another sip of his drink, he smiles, “You don’t need to apologise… Yeah, I enjoyed myself. It was probably the best night this week.”

You nod at that, taking another sip of your Amaretto before you open your mouth again, “That’s good. I guess it makes the home shows more special. Has anywhere ever beaten home shows? I imagine all the UK ones are pretty special with you all literally travelling around the world.”

“God, big question.” Alex chuckles a little, before looking at the ceiling as if the answer was written up there. He comes back with, “I think home shows are the rowdiest and loudest which is fun. I think the best ever was Glastonbury though.”

You grin, “Which one? First or second time?”

“Full of good questions.” Alex smiles before he swirls his glass around as he thinks which reminds you of something else entirely.

“Oh,” You practically giggle, which brings his attention back to you, “You make me laugh when you do that ‘losing your train of thought’ thing on stage. Wasn’t aware that an Arctic Monkeys show is actually shitty stand up comedy these days.”

“Offended you think it's shit.” Alex scoffs which makes you drunkenly giggle.

As you finish laughing you shrug and tell him, “Was better in the days that you did the kung fu fighting thing still.”

“Damn,” Alex shakes his head, “Need to step my game back up. Any other suggestions?”

You think about it for a second and you’re just about to give him a long spiel of awkward suggestions that probably should never leave your mouth. But they thankfully don’t because the most gorgeous wife in the world comes back over and grabs your attention.

“Hey Y/N,” Katie grins at you with her coat folded over her arm and she asks, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” You nod, grabbing your coat from just beside you, “Yeah.”

As you slip your coat on and finish your drink in a quick mouthful, Alex keeps Katie entertained.

“Mrs Cook.” Alex grins, taking a sip of his beer after calling her out, “You lightweight.”

You have an amused grin on your face as she frowns at him, “Some of us have kids to look after in the morning, Turner.”

“I’m so glad I'm not you right now.” You laugh honestly.

The last thing you’d want was to be hungover and then have to get up early to deal with kids in the morning. Definitely not happening any time in your near future.

“You and me both.” Alex chuckles before he glances back at Katie. “Did you have a good night Mrs Cook.”

“Stop calling me Mrs Cook, you make me feel old.” She playfully scorns him.

“You are old.” Alex fires back just as cocky as she was, pointing out some fair points, “You’ve been married for half a decade and you have a child.”

Katie scowls at the singer then, and she fires back, “Well at least I don’t have a fucking ugly orange settee where I choose to live.”

You have to laugh at that. You’ve heard about how weird and wonderful this sofa is. You know she’s hated it ever since she’d seen it when he moved in, but Alex apparently likes how his furnished flat came. So he’s not changing it.

Alex argues back, with a look of determination, “It matches the blue walls.”

“Your flat looks like a pop art painting.” Katie fires back, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You’re just jealous because you can’t have pretty things like that because your kid will draw on it.” Alex defends himself with a grin, before adding his final joking remarks, “And you’re boring because you have your Mum brain on all the time.”

“At least she’s a milf.” You grin at her, “It’s very lucky Jamie is away so much. Get her all to myself.”

Katie burst out laughing at that and you hear Alex chuckle at you too. Not that you’ll remember any of this tomorrow, you can practically feel the memories already leaving your mind.

Christ, that one extra drink has really done you over. You feel just as drunk again. God you already don’t want the hangover tomorrow.

Katie tells you that she’s going to go and find a few people to say goodbye to and that she’ll meet you over by the door in a few minutes. So you politely ask Alex to let you up from the booth you’re in and he does so without any argument.

As you stand in front of him, the singer wonders aloud, “You’re coming tomorrow, right?”

“Oh I, um,” You don’t really know what to say other than, “I didn’t know I was invited?”

The last thing you wanted to do was be in the way again. Because god knows at some points tonight when the crew was running around you, Katie, and Kelly you felt like you were in the way. And you never want to outstay your welcome anyway.

“Course you are,” Alex tells you, and he says as if it’s obvious, “You’ve been on the guestlist all week, Y/N.”

“Oh.” You say, a little dumbfounded because you really didn’t know and his gaze still makes you feel a little uneasy.

Well if Katie had told you she’d done that for you you might have been able to come a few dates earlier. Or maybe not considering it’s still been a little awkward tonight with Alex, you’re grateful for the conversations you’ve had though.

But you won’t remember your discussions with him because you’ve had so much to drink. And tomorrow you’ll blame your hangover on Katie for more than likely asking Jamie to put the Disaronno in his rider.

“You don’t have to,” Alex backtracks a little, but it’s nonchalant and you think nothing of it anyway. He follows it up with, “Just thought that you usually spend your saturday nights with Katie and she's here anyway. You’re welcome to come again.”

How kind of him. He must have been abducted by aliens and this is a nicer clone. There's absolutely no other explanation to your tipsy mind.

“Thanks, yeah,” You nod and the singer smiles at you when you confirm, “I’ll be there.”

Because you won’t be turning down free live music or alcohol any time soon.

You glance at the door and notice Katie giving Jamie a kiss so you figure it’s time to get going yourself. You look back at Alex and he smiles knowing what you must already be thinking.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N/N.” Alex grins and you give him a smile and a small ‘bye’ as you turn to leave.

But the singer shouts your name after you take a few steps away, so when you turn back to him, he answers your earlier question, “First time. First Glastonbury blew my mind.”

All you seem to be able to do in response to that is grin. You nod a little before saying, “See you tomorrow Alex.”

~*~*~*~ 20th August 2018 ~*~*~*~

“I want to cry, the Uber cancelled again.” Katie whines, pouting slightly as she looks out of the window at the rain.

“Just our luck for not booking a proper taxi in advance.” Jamie sighs, scorning himself for not thinking better of it earlier.

Tonight you, Katie, Jamie, and Alex had been out separately but you’d all convened back together at the Cook household so Jamie’s parents could be relieved of babysitting duties. You and Katie shared another bottle of wine and gossiped for another 2 hours whilst the boys drank their beer and chipped into the conversation now and again.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Alex tells them, “We don’t live that far away.”

“Yeah, I’ll just brave the cold.” You assure Katie, and add in a little jest using air quotes, “At least it’s ‘summer’ and not snowing.”

“But the rain.” Katie points to the window.

Yeah walking home at the end of the night in the rain can be a little shit. But it was nothing you’d not done before. Granted you were like 21 the last time you’d done that but it’s really not the end of the world.

“It’s not heavy, I'll be okay.” You promise her to try and ease her worries, “At least I’ll go home looking like a drowned rat and not the other way around.”

You grab your coat from near the door and Katie follows you saying, “You can’t walk home on your own at three am, Y/N.”

“I’ll be fine.” You tell her as you slip your shoes back on.

Alex shocks both you and Katie to your cores when he says, “I’ll walk her home.”

Katie mustn’t be able to believe her ears because she asks, “What?”

You almost laugh, because she sounds like she’s as shocked as she was when Alex walked in on your wine night with Jamie and Nick the other month and she first saw his buzzed hair cut.

“We live the same way with about five minutes between us.” Alex points out, and he looks at you and nods, “I’ll walk you home.”

So that is how you’re currently walking from the Cook’s house to your own with Alex by your side.

Since Jamie’s party when he came up to you and asked why you didn’t think he liked you, the singer had surprisingly been a little better with you. He said hello to you and he seemed to engage a little more.

He’s still quiet around you, but you’ve noticed now that he goes like that around most people he doesn’t really know that well. You guess you can’t really change that though considering whenever you start asking him questions he doesn’t really give you much of an answer.

You’ve come to terms with that thought which is why you’re biting your tongue as you walk beside him. The urge to start asking him a bunch of questions is really strong but you’d rather not have the sinking feeling in your chest when you just receive one word answers back.

To occupy yourself as you’ve been walking the past few minutes, you’ve been running over the lyrics of your favourite song in your head. Alex seems to be in his head as it is so you don’t feel too bad as you walk despite the strong urge to rid yourself of the awful silence between you.

All you really focus on is making sure the umbrella that Katie lent you keeps you dry. Alex had a coat with a hood and even when you offered to share the umbrella with him he told you it was fine and that was the last thing you said to each other.

Or that was until Alex speaks up and asks you, “Am I right in thinking you were married?”

“Yeah for four years.” You nod, glancing over at him, and chuckling a little, “If you can believe it.”

Thank fuck he spoke up. The silence was eating away at you.

Alex’s eyes go a little wide, “Really?”

The poor man probably shouldn’t have asked, because the floodgates you were holding shut have just burst open and your nervous chatter just comes out. And considering you’re drunk, there is no chance you can stop it.

“Yeah, together since we were sixteen. Married at twenty one and stayed together for four years. But we just didn’t love each other anymore. Well, not in the way that qualifies you still be married to someone.” You ramble on before continuing, “Don’t get me wrong I would be devastated if something happened to him. Touch wood nothing does. But we just lived separate lives, went to work, came back home, and went to bed. Half the time he did shifts so I never saw him.”

You carry on to explain, “My life was just boring and I thought to myself I shouldn’t be feeling bored aged twenty-five. I wanted to travel and see the world but I just got a mortgage straight away so the only travelling we ever did was when we went to Vegas and got married.”

“So I got divorced, and how sad is it that I've got to tell people I'm a thirty one year old divorcee.” You finish off with.

But then you realise who you’ve said all of that to. And that he doesn’t like chatting to you at the best of times. So he probably didn’t care about anything you just told him, or appreciated the amount of rambling you just did.

You feel the need to say, “Sorry.” and you glance at Alex as you sheepishly say, “You didn’t really ask that, did you?”

For fucks sake Y/N. A ‘yes’ would have done!

“It’s okay.” Alex assures you with a small smile.

“No, it's just me rambling when I'm drunk and nervous.” You scorn yourself, hating the uneasy feeling in your chest. Unable to understand why you do it, you still end up saying, “I’m sorry. I’m a chatty person in general and getting alcohol into my system just makes me worse. Not to mention if I'm nervous too… Can never stop me going then.”

You guess getting it off your chest and him knowing that about you may make you easier to understand. Maybe he won’t find you as annoying because the last thing you want is to annoy him. You’re close with Katie and Jamie so you’re bound to run into each other more now he’s going to be living in Sheffield.

The singer frowns a little then before looking back to you to curiously ask, “Why are you nervous?”

Because you’re the most awkward man to talk to possibly ever?!!??!??!?

Course you can’t say that though. So you give the other true reason.

“I don’t like walking home in the dark usually.” You tell him sincerely, because it does freak you out. “I don’t know, bit of an irrational fear at this point but someone followed me home when I was younger and it really freaked me out. So um yeah… Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s really not a problem Y/N/N,” He smiles at you in what seems like a genuine way then, “I wasn’t going to let you walk home alone.”

You can’t help but think that’s really kind of him considering he really doesn’t know you very well. You tell him, “You’re a gooden, Alex.”

The singer just smiles a little at that, but you can see he’s being completely genuine when he says, “Sorry that happened to you.”

You give him a small smile then, appreciating how sincerely he said it. But you don’t really want to dwell on that whilst you’re walking in the dark so you change the subject.

“Do you prefer being back in Sheffield after all your time away?”

Alex wonders in what context you’re on about, so he questions, “You mean like over tour?”

“No, I mean like from living in different places because you were in New York when I first met you. Then you were in LA and you’ve got a place over there, right?” You double check, looking to him for assurance.

Alex nods and you continue, “Then you were to and from LA and London, right? And now you decided to come and stay back home? Or do you not plan on staying now?”

And you’re pleasantly surprised at the lengthy answer he gives you.

“Oh I'm definitely staying in Sheffield now… At least for a little while after the tour is finished.” He explains, “I think I just need time back where everything is normal and familiar again. Like Miles goes and stays back home quite often and I’ve not been back here for more than two months maybe since I was twenty two… It’s a long time away and it's quite nice to just come back and feel normal.”

You understand what he’s saying completely, but you can’t help but jokingly add, “Well… As normal as you can, being the front man of Sheffield's pride and joy.”

Alex laughs a little at that which shocks you because you never expected to make him laugh. But he does remind you, “You’re forgetting about Pulp.”

“You’re forgetting Pulp haven’t released anything since 2012.” You raise your eyebrows at him as your defence.

“Fair dos,” Alex laughs a little and you take what joy you can out of the fact that you made that happen. “But yeah, I like being myself back here and I like that I’m with most of my good friends and I get to be a proper uncle to the kids over here now.”

“They talk about you all the time. It's funny.” You can’t help but grin at the thought of your little god children, “Katie blames Jamie for being gone on you so when Katie has Kelly and Nick’s kids round too they complain like ‘Why has Uncle Alex taken Dad away again?’” You mimic in a whiney voice that again makes Alex laugh.

Alex chuckles, “I need to have a word with that Mrs Cook. She’ll get me into trouble with them.”

You promise him, “It’s nothing a chocolate bar wouldn’t solve.”

“I must owe them so much chocolate.” Alex grins.

You nod and begin to slow your walking down because you’re about to reach your house, “Oh yeah, you definitely do.”

“I’ll get Katie to invoice me.” The singer says as he notices you glance to the houses just beside you both and you slow down.

Matching your speed, you both come to a stop just in front of your house and you smile at the singer, “Thank you for walking me home.”

“Not a problem, Y/N.” Alex smiles back and you’re really glad that

You start slowly moving closer to your house as you say, “I hope the next leg of your tour goes well.”

“Thank you.” He says as he watches you get closer to your house.

“See you soon Alex.” You say with a smile as you unlock your door and push it open. “Thanks again.”

Alex smiles, “Bye Y/N.”

~*~*~*~ 24th November 2018 ~*~*~*~

Chaos. That is the only word to describe the current situation that you’re in.

The Cook household is manic, Forrest is running round like a mad man as any toddler who’s just been given sweets by his uncle would be doing.

Toys are everywhere and Jamie is running around too as he’s been tasked with tidying them before the grandparents get here to babysit. Katie scolded Alex for giving Forrest sweets before they were due to go out before she went upstairs to get ready.

Katie’s Mum wasn’t here yet to babysit Forrest for the night whilst you were all going out and that added to the stress because the taxi was due in about 25 minutes. So you’re trying your best to be the good Auntie that you are and calm your godchild down before you all go out, but your good nature results in a causality.

Alex catches your arm as you almost fall over a mountain of toys Forrest decided to pull you through, but as you tried to salvage your footing you must have caught the leg of the table your shin smacked into as well. It didn’t hurt too much, the initial shock of it got you and the fact you almost fell over, but then you hear the awful sound of fabric ripping, it makes you wince. You know what's happened before you even look down to check.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking.” You mutter under your breath before you quickly glance at Alex and say a small, “Thanks.” as he stopped you from going arse over tit.

Alex asks slightly concerned, “Are you okay?” and that’s the first interaction with him since you walked in the door ten minutes ago.

You could blame that on the fact the Cook’s household was fucking mental, but it’s more than likely just normal that he doesn’t want to talk to you. You’re just glad he caught you if nothing else, the last thing you need is to fall and bruise yourself.

“Yeah, thanks,” You nod, letting go of his arm you were still grasping to perch on the back of the settee so you can get a look at the damage done to your tights, “Can’t say the same about them, for fucks sake.”

They are beyond salvageable. There’s a massive hole in the calf which is that big it almost fully reaches round to your shin. Theres now a massive fucking ladder up the side of them which makes them more transparent and you can feel it’s gone right up to your arse too.

“I can’t go out like this.” You sigh, wondering what you can do but it also pisses you off because you literally arrived a matter of minutes ago in your taxi feeling really good about yourself for a hot second, but now that’s all fucking disipated.

Jamie shrugs, suggesting, “Take them off.” as he watches Forrest play with some toys across the room.

“Oh yeah,” You roll your eyes, and your sarcasm rings clear telling him that you’re not in the mood for such a simple comment like that. You wore them for a reason, and that reason is because it’s fucking freezing outside, “And get fucking hypothermia because I’m shivering all night? I don’t think so Jamie.”

You’re only wearing a skirt tonight because Katie asked you to anyway. She wanted you to wear the skirt version of the dress that she had which you were fine with doing.

Katie was wearing a really cute red tartan dress with a long sleeve black top underneath whereas you opted to buy the dark green high waisted tartan skirt and you paired that with a white long sleeve top and you had your tights and ankle boots on.

You’re bloody freezing as it is, the last thing you want or need is to be taking your tights off. It’s a strong no from you.

“I mean you wanted a quick fix.” Jamie holds his hands up in innocence and you just ignore him for a second before walking out of the lounge and to the bottom of the stairs after hearing your best friend begin to walk down them.

“Katie, do you have tights I could borrow?” You ask her as she gets to the bottom of the stairs.

“I binned all mine the other day and ordered more but they haven't arrived yet.” She tells you and your once jolly mood plummets further, “They all had holes in them… How come?”

You show her your right leg and you turn slightly to pull your skirt up a little, making sure the lads don’t see but Katie can see just how high the ladder runs up.

“Oh.” Katie winces at that, feeling bad she can’t help you.

“I’ve got stockings you could wear?” She offers as the both of you walk back into the lounge, “They’d come up to your thigh?”

You almost want to slap her. You know exactly where those items of her clothing have been, which is why you give her a disgusted look as you say, “I’m not wearing stockings that you’ve been wearing whilst Jamie’s railed you.”

“They’ve been washed.” She scoffs.

“Thanks, but no. I can’t wear these though.” You sigh as you both walk into the lounge. You stick by the arched frame though and after a second of deliberation, you say, “Whilst you're sorting yourself out, I’ll walk home and change.”

Katie looks at you with concern filled eyes, “But the taxi is due in twenty minutes.”

“Exactly, and you don't have the time to be messing about.” You say as she’s clearly still got things to sort out. She’s only just now plugging her straighteners in and she doesn’t have her shoes on yet either. You continue with, “And your Mum isn’t here yet to look after Forrest. If you can pick me up on the way out, that’d be grand.”

Katie nods at you through the mirror as she starts parting her hair so she can style it, “Yeah that’s fine.”

“Right, I’ll go now then.” You tell the room before turning to grab your coat from the bannister.

But you almost stop dead when you hear Alex say, “I’ll walk with you.”

Did those words really just leave Alex Turner’s mouth?

They clearly did because he’s pulling his jacket back on and taking a step towards you. Not wanting to be a burden, you shake your head, “You don’t have to, it’s not that late.”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk with you.” Alex insists, giving you a look that’s assuring but he makes it lighthearted by saying, “Gives them more incentive to come and pick the both of us up from yours then, right?”

You assume he must remember from your walk home a few months ago that you didn’t like walking home in the dark. You see no other reason for him as to be so kind to offer. So you don’t argue with him further, even though you already feel nervous to have to spend time with him alone.

“Right.” You nod and avert your gaze from his. You look back to Katie and Jamie and say, “See you in a bit.”

~*~*~*~

The walk home was uncomfortable to say the least. Despite your speed walking, it really did seem to take forever to get back to your house with silence between you and the singer.

You’ve got past the point of trying to start a full conversation with him at this point, so you just opted to repeat the lyrics to your favourite song, Not fair by Lily Allen, to yourself three times knowing that by the time you finish the song in full for the third time you should be home. And when you’re correct, you’re very thankful.

Unlocking and getting into your house leaves a new sense of anxiety in your stomach though. You’ve left the place a fucking mess and you hate that when someone new walks in. Especially someone like Alex who hasn’t always been the nicest to you in the past, so you start rambling again as you let the both of you in.

“My house is a tip so sorry about this.” You tell him as you quickly slip your boots off so you can change your tights when you get a second. “Please ignore everything you see. I’ve really not had any time to clean up today. I was out this morning and then by the time I got back katie was mithering me to get ready for tonight which is fucking comical because she wasn’t ready even before we left.”

Alex closes the door behind and walks into your home and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s already looking around at your possessions. Most people do when they walk in anyway considering the back wall of your lounge displays your ever growing record collection.

You’re unsurprised when you hear him say, “Christ, that’s a lot of records.”

“I know right,” You smile and walk the both of you further into your home.

And because you can’t handle silence as you start searching your shopping bags for a new pair of tights, you give him another anecdote, “My Dad gave me all of his from back in the day. Couldn’t believe it when he said I could have them all. I’d only just started my collection at the time and I probably had about twenty of my own and then he gave me all of his because he said it was old technology and he’ll never have any use for them anymore. And then my grandparents followed suit and they gave me all theirs too. Couldn’t believe my luck.”

“Three generations worth of collectors then?” Alex smiles and you nod.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You nod, not bothering with the bag you were currently routing through anymore because you’re a little bit taken aback by the fact he’s pulled your favourite Gorillaz album out.

Abandoning your search for replacement tights for the moment, you carry on your story as you watch him, “Been fun adding to the big collection though. I love just putting on a record to pass the time. It’s why my Spotify unwrapped is always so shit because I always listen to my LPs and not on my phone so at the end of the year it’s like ‘you listened to two thousand minutes of music this year’ and it’s bullshit because I just listen to so much more but it’s all on my turntable unless I'm walking to work.”

Alex hums with a smile on his face as he continues searching for more records. He’s pleased to see all of his own up there, including his EP, the TLSP albums, and the Submarine soundtrack. And when he pulls out Miles’ latest album Coup De Grace, he can’t help but chuckle seeing that Miles had signed it and written a message to you saying, ‘Y/N/N, my biggest fan in the world. Love you loads and I hope you enjoy the new tunes. All my love, Miles x’.

When you notice the singer looking at that, you laugh and tell him how Miles had given you a lovely message on the front of all his LPs.

“Bless Miles, he always writes me a nice message on each album I get sent.” You start to ramble as you search for new tights. “I don’t really remember when he started doing it… Oh yeah I do, I think it may have been when I mentioned when I first met him how much I liked Age of the Understatement and we were talking about it for ages. And then like a month later I get the record in the post and he’s signed it and it had the sweetest message on the front to go with it and he’s never stopped. He’s a gem.”

You stop talking about Miles when you get baffled for a moment how your tights weren’t in the shopping bag from the shop you thought you bought them from. So your search persists as you carry on routing in other bags you’ve yet to take upstairs.

As you do though, your nervous chatter persists. You really hate that you can’t stop it, and you’re sure you’re annoying your guest but he doesn’t stop you, and thankfully he doesn’t look annoyed by them today. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take you by surprise today by actively starting a conversation with you.

Just as you’re about to run upstairs to your room, you hear Alex ask, “Can I ask you a question?”

If Katie would have asked you that, you’d have said ‘You just did’ but because it’s Alex and you’re certain he doesn’t get your humour, nor would he tolerate it, you just say, “Yeah, of course you can.”

And you walk back into your lounge so you’re not being rude as you wait for his question. Alex looks as relaxed as possible as you feel like your heart is going to start beating out of your chest despite him still plucking records from your shelves.

His brown eyes linger on you as he asks, “Do I make you nervous?”

You certainly weren't expecting that question.

“What do you mean?” You find yourself asking, not understanding where that’s come from and you feel like you’re frozen in your spot.

Alex seems to think about his words before they leave his mouth next. And your heart that's thudding ten to the dozen in your chest doesn’t feel like it’s able to cope for much longer so you’re very thankful when he says what's on his mind.

“Well when I walked you home in the summer, you said that you ramble when you're drunk or nervous. And yes, on a few occasions we've seen each other lately we’ve been drunk, but you’re not now and you’re exactly the same.” Alex points out as he looks between you and the track listing on the back of your Brian Eno LP.

“You’re really chatty and jumpy when I come near you and it's like you’re flustered and jittery... Like the way a fan usually is but you’ve known me for too long for it to be that, so that’s why I'm asking,” Alex repeats himself, “Do I make you nervous?”

“Erm, yeah.” You nod, unable to say much else, “I guess you do.”

“In what way?” The singer asks you as he puts the record back where he found it before giving you his full attention and starts making his way over to you.

“I’m not scared of you or anything… You just really stress me out. I can never read you, never read what mood you’re in or even whether you like me as a person or you just think I’m Katie’s annoying friend that never shuts up.” You struggle for your words because you truly don’t know how to tell him without offending him. The last thing you’d want is for him to dislike you anymore.

But Alex’s gaze and increasing proximity makes you say more, “I don’t really know why you make me nervous after all this time. But you definitely unsettle me.”

You want to curl up into a ball and hide. You feel fidgety with the closer he gets and you want to avoid his gaze. But because he’s pointed it out, you don’t allow yourself. You stay strong and keep his eye contact despite his teasing.

“When you’re around me you talk like you- I don’t know how to describe it… You almost act like someone who's addicted to the E-numbers in sweets.” Alex grins, almost like it’s a little inside joke with himself. You try to keep yourself calm when he reaches his point, as he stops a few feet in front of you. “So that's why I’m curious if I made you nervous or not.”

“Well I guess the simple answer is yes.” You nod, but now with him so close, you try to look anywhere but at him.

This is far too awkward for your liking. Alex hums in response to that and he plucks another record that you recognise to be Histoire de Melody Nelson from your shelf that’s just beside you.

You think you’ve escaped the conversation now and you pray you can just go back to being awkwardly silent with each other and never relive that again. But apparently that’s not the plan.

Just as you were turning yourself around again to head upstairs, Alex leaves you shell shocked when he asks, “Do you want to fuck me?”

Instantly your eyes are the widest they could possibly get and you’re sure your jaw falls open. Looking at him intently to try and make sure you’re not dreaming this, you deadpan, “Excuse me?”

“Do you want to fuck me?” Alex asks, putting the record back like it's the most casual thing to ask someone he barely speaks to, “Is that why I make you nervous?”

This should be the easiest response you’ve ever given him.

“I-”

But your words fail you. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest.

Wait… Do I want to fuck him?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: So... What did you think??? What do you think is going to happen next??? Did you enjoy it? I really hope you did!

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist x

Taglist: @alovesreading @kennedy-brooke @ohladymoon @hazskillerqueen @more-multifandom-of-maddness @thereisaplaceintheheart

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coochiequeens · 10 months

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Another sex offender TIM released into the public.........and given a laptop

Daughter's fury as paedophile father who abused and shared images of her with other sick perverts online before changing gender in prison is quietly released (...and given a laptop by an offender's charity)

By ROSS SLATER

PUBLISHED: 10:47 EDT, 16 July 2023 | UPDATED: 10:49 EDT, 16 July 2023

A paedophile who changed gender while in prison for sexually abusing her own daughter as a child and sending explicit photos of her to perverts online has been quietly released back into the community - and given a laptop by a do-gooding charity.

Claire Fox, 61, who was previously known as Clive Bundy, a father of six, served just seven years of a 15-year jail sentence, before being settled into a tiny market town on the Welsh borders.

Fox, who wears a black wig and floral dresses told neighbours, who knew nothing of her sordid past, that she was an electrician from Bangor as they helped her get settled into her new surroundings and helped her furnish her flat.

Fox's release from prison has appalled her daughter Ceri-Lee Galvin, who bravely waived her right to anonymity, having been abused by her father for nine years from the age of eight.

Revealing her astonishment, Ceri-Lee, 24, told MailOnline: 'My father is not a woman and I refuse to recognise him as such. He changed his gender in prison to make his life there easier.

But now he is out and already up to his usual tricks – conning everyone he meets.

'The fact he is now dressed as a woman makes him more dangerous as young girls are his thing and he has never shown any remorse.

'My father is a highly manipulative man who has attended no sexual offender rehabilitation programmes, shown no remorse for what he has done and openly admits finding children attractive.

'There have been no meetings I'm aware of to tell local schools about his presence, he has no tag and no curfew. He has just been put into this community and given all he could wish for – food, furniture, a home and a laptop.'

Ceri-Lee, now a student paramedic, added: 'I am in no way transphobic and I feel incredibly sorry for people who genuinely need to transition. They face stigma and worse because of cases like this.

'But it should just not be an option for those convicted of sexual offences against children to suddenly say that they want to be a woman.

'This only arose at the end of 2021 when he was due to be moved to an open prison but then had a fight with a fellow prisoner that was serious enough to stop the move.

'That is when he went for the gender change – when he was almost 60, having been a macho man all his life and having had eight children and having never mentioned gender dysphoria before.

'Now he is being indulged by everyone. The prison service gave him make-up and women's clothes and now a charity for the armed forces have provided him with so much stuff when all he did was a short stint in the Territorial Army in his 20s.

He has conned them. He was never a soldier. The whole thing is outrageous.'

Fox arrived in a sheltered accommodation block for older people in a tiny town at the start of June.

She was given new furniture, a television, printer, washing machine, crockery and a laptop by the armed forces charity SSAFA because she had once been in the Territorial Army.

Fox's neighbour Lyn Robinson, 74, said: 'My first impression was that this person was very cheerful and amenable, assuring all us older people that they'd be no trouble. They seemed very confident despite the outlandish appearance.

'I thought she might find it difficult fitting in so I really took care of her. I gave her clothes and even lent her £70, which is a lot for a pensioner.

'I took her to the food bank at the Baptist Church where she was given loads of stuff including vouchers for a butcher in town and for a coffee shop.

'And we went to a concert at St Edward's Church where I introduced her to the vicar. I had no idea of her history.

Fox's decision to change gender before being released from prison, provoked a storm of protest when it was revealed in April.

She chose the same name as gender-critical campaigner and media pundit Claire Fox, now sitting in the House of Lords as Baroness Fox of Buckley.

Campaign groups fear that by changing their gender, sex offenders can effectively whitewash their past and could avoid detection under the Home Office's Disclosure and Barring Service, set up to protect children from abusers.

DBS uses official paperwork such as a passport or driving licence to carry out their checks, both of which can prove difficult to check after choosing a new name and gender.

The potential loophole is provided by the Gender Recognition Act (2004), which created a 'sensitive applications route' for trans people.

Ceri-Lee added: 'The victim liaison officer told me the only reason I was being informed about the name and gender change was because he had given permission for this to happen.

'It's allowing him to say that Clive Bundy never existed, that my abuse never existed and it is clearly a danger to children which is why I decided to speak out.'

Fox is not the first sex offender to change gender while in prison

A rapist who carried out sexual attacks as a man named Adam Graham in 2016 and 2019 sparked a heated debate earlier this year after changing gender and name to Isla Bryson while waiting to stand trial at the High Court in Glasgow.

And in 2018, convicted rapist 'Karen White' – branded a 'highly manipulative' predator by a judge – was moved to HMP New Hall in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, and sexually assaulted two women inmates.

Fox was arrested after police discovered images of Ceri-Lee online that the abuser had been trading with other pedophiles.

She was later charged with and admitted to several counts of sexual activity with Ceri-Lee, inciting a child to engage in sexual activity and distributing indecent images.

In 2016 she was sentenced to 15 years in prison. It was not until the end of 2021 that she told the authorities she wanted to change gender.

A SSAFA spokesperson, said: 'SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity provides practical, emotional and financial assistance to serving personnel, reservists, veterans and their families in their time of need. Due to data protection laws and our need to protect our beneficiaries' and employees' confidentiality, we cannot comment on individuals or their circumstances.'

A spokesperson for Dyfed-Powys Police said: 'In line with national guidelines we can neither confirm nor deny the information you have provided.

'However, we can confirm that Multi Agency Public Protection Arrangements are utilised throughout the entire force area to manage appropriate offenders living in the community and they will be closely supervised by local officers to minimise any risk.'

#Claire Fox is Clive Bundy #Child Abuse #Child Abuse material online #UK #Wales

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sebscore · 1 year

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FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL | SEBASTIAN V. & LEWIS H.

pairings: lewis hamilton x fem!reader / sebastian vettel x fem!reader (with a lovely cameo from Markus Webber)

warnings: swearing. implied infidelity.

time stamp: june 21, 2021

author's note: this is an INTRODUCTORY chapter so certain things won't make sense now, but they will make sense later, luvies !! anyway- im so excited about this revamp and i hope old gentle hit readers will like it as well <3

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''I don't know what you're doing out here, there aren't any courts around.''

Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me.

Y/N glanced up from her phone, being met with the smiling face of Sebastian- a sight she had been able to ignore the ongoing weekend.

''The courts don't need me today.'' Her words came out more passive aggressive than she had meant to, but the German driver's sudden appearance caught her off guard. ''Don't you think I should be asking you what you're doing here? I'm afraid you're in the wrong garage.'' She plastered a fake smile on her face, something Sebastian noticed in an instant.

''Yeah, I, uh, wanted to talk to Lewis.'' He explained, leaning his arm on the wall.

The Frenchwoman looked to where her partner was standing, deep in conversation with Bono and Angela. ''He's a little busy right now.''

''It seems so,'' he didn't glance over Lewis, his eyes staying on her, ''it's been a while since I've seen you.'' Sebastian stated, resting his head against his arm.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, that's true. My schedule hasn't been working out too well with all the races this year.'' Her tennis tournaments and Lewis' races had been coinciding rather too much in her opinion. She felt guilty that she couldn't be there to support her boyfriend as much as he had been there for her.

''That's too bad, but you've been doing really well this year.'' He told her, unconsciously admitting that he had been keeping tabs on her season.

The tennis player raised her eyebrow, a little surprised at the unexpected compliment. ''Well, I appreciate that,'' she thanked him, ''although, I hope you're not stalking me.'' Despite the sarcastic tone in her voice, there was a truth to her words.

''I've always been a fan, you know that.'' The Aston Martin driver retorted.

Y/N let out a sigh. ''You're not here to see Lewis, are you, Sebastian?'' He got goosebumps as his name left her lips, lots of time had passed since the last time that happened.

''The word was going around that you were here, wanted to see it with my own eyes.'' Sebastian revealed his real reason for his appearance at the Mercedes garage.

The woman in front of him had an unimpressed look on her face. ''That's the kinda gossip everyone discusses here? It really gets more boring with each year that goes by.'' If her attendance was the biggest topic of the day, she didn't have very high hopes for the other ''gossips'' that went around the paddock.

''I mean- you've always been the talk of the town here, haven't you?'' The comment made her cringe, a hard time controlling her facial expressions. ''And normally you make these grand entrances so people weren't too sure whether you were actually here or not.''

''I'm here for Lewis.'' Y/N stated, a bigger meaning behind her words than seemed on the surface.

Sebastian let out a weird mix between a scoff and a chuckle, momentarily glimpsing at the ground. ''I don't doubt that you're here for Lewis, Y/N.''

He lied, he did doubt it. Many events had transpired between the pair for him to doubt her intentions and support for his longtime rival and eventually turned friend. Or in other words, Sebastian was convinced he had every right to raise his suspicions over Y/N and Lewis' relationship.

''Can we not do this now?'' She didn't have the energy or interest to engage in a conversation with Sebastian about the obvious elephant in the room.

The German had an answer ready, but was interrupted by a curious Brit approaching them. ''Hey, Seb! How are you, man?'' Lewis greeted him, holding out his fist.

Sebastian quickly dropped the agitated expression on his face, wearing a soft smile instead. ''I'm good, and you?''

''Yeah, I'm good- feeling ready for today.'' Lewis was blissfully unaware of the tension in the air, happily grinning while putting an arm around his girlfriend's waist. ''Good conditions, I think it's going to be a nice race.''

''I think so too, looked really good out there.'' The younger man confirmed his words, glancing in-between the couple.

Lewis nodded to what he was saying. ''Where are you starting again?'' The Mercedes driver asked, forgetting where his friend had ended up in qualifying.

''Oh, P12.'' Sebastian quickly answered.

''Well, I know you're gonna do great, man.'' Lewis had felt bad for the man, going from a top team to one that could barely make it into Q2. However, he knew Seb and that he would extract everything he could from his car.

An appreciative smile appeared on the driver's face. ''Thank you, Lewis.''

''So, uh, what were you guys talking about?''

How his ''friend'' is here to see me and not you.

A small panic flashed through Sebastian's eyes as he looked at Y/N who seemed more calm about her boyfriend's curiosity. ''Apparently, my attendance today has been the talk of the paddock so far.'' She chuckled, her eyes on Lewis.

The 7x World Champion giggled at her answer, squeezing her hip. ''Really? That sounds like my girl.''

Sebastian observed the way they were wrapped up in each other, an ugly feeling resting in his stomach. He hated how natural it looked for them, how easy it was for them to show affection. Above all, Sebastian secretly despised the way she had her eyes set on her partner. She looked enthralled by Lewis as if he was the only person in the world at that moment.

He despised it, because that is how the woman's eyes used to stare at him.

The best word to describe Sebastian and Y/N's history was complicated, and even that term didn't do their relationship justice.

They first met in 2008 at the Italian Grand Prix where Sebastian took his first ever Formula 1 race win. She had been invited by his French teammate to the Toro Rosso garage, ultimately bumping into the 21 year-old German.

It didn't take them too long to become close friends; they share a birth year, both are incredibly passionate about their sport and the two of them have a special talent in pushing other people's buttons in a charming way.

It almost seemed like a cheesy rom com where the two protagonists meet and despite their different careers, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

However, there is a huge emphasis on the word 'almost', because in a traditional rom com the male protagonist doesn't have a long term girlfriend who he swore he was going to marry someday. In an ideal world, that's where their story should have ended.

But this isn't an ideal world.

''He's here for you,'' she pointed from Sebastian to Lewis, ''so I'll leave you two.'' Sebastian wanted to protest, suggesting to leave himself, but she was already making her way to Tiffany who was standing on the opposite side of the garage.

Sebastian's eyes followed her steps, swiftly turning his head once Lewis started speaking. ''What's up, man?''

''Nothing, I just, uh, wanted to, uh,'' the German figured he should have come up with at least a probable excuse to talk to Lewis before coming to the Mercedes camp, ''there's, uh, this new project I'm working on and I would love to talk to you about it, but maybe we can do it another time, I think we, uh, have to get ready.'' He rambled on, simply wanting to go back to his own team.

''Yeah, that's alright. I can't wait to hear what you've been developing!'' The Brit knew that whatever his friend had been planning, would be a great success and he felt touched that Seb wanted to share his ideas with him.

Sebastian put up a happy facade to hide his discomfort, ''Thanks,'' guilt crept up on him at the sight of Lewis' genuine excitement over the mere talk about something he had been working on, ''I have to go now, but I'll see you out on track.''

They shared a small hug, patting each other on the back. ''Yeah, good luck, man.'' They bid each other goodbye, each resuming their own pre-race routine.

Y/N has subtly observed the conversation between the two world champions, trying hard not to show her satisfaction at the visible nerves on Sebastian's face and the awkwardness in his behaviour.

''By the way, I really like your outfit today. It looks great on you.'' Tiffany complimented her, shifting the athlete's focus from Lewis to the Australian cyclist. ''Thank you, I absolutely love your dress! Black really suits you.'' Y/N returned the favour, scanning the woman's dress.

''Thank you so much, I wasn't too sure about-''

''Sorry, Tiff! Can I borrow her for a second?'' Lewis interrupted her, his arms instinctively finding their way around her.

Tiffany pretended to be offended, but excused them. ''I'll go find my own man.'' She winked, walking over to where Valtteri was getting ready for the race.

''Seb said that he wanted to talk about some project he had been working on, and I was thinking that maybe we could go and have drinks with him later tonight? Maybe invite Val and Tiffany as well? I don't know, what do you think?''

Y/N took in his words, pretending to deeply think about it while already knowing she would not let that happen. ''A project? Did he say what it is about?'' She asked him, attempting to stretch the time she had to think about how she could politely tell Lewis she did not want to get drinks with the Aston Martin driver.

''He didn't tell me, he said he would tell me after the race.'' Her partner answered, a slight pout on his face.

Probably something about his bees.

The younger woman nodded, a bit confused on why Sebastian wouldn't just tell Lewis. ''That's, uh, too bad.'' She noted.

''So what do you think? You think it's a good idea?'' Lewis asked once again, looking her in the eyes, wanting her validation that it was a great suggestion.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''Yeah, it's been a while since we've done something with Val and Tiff alone.'' She realised she had to consider Lewis' feelings and if he wanted to get drinks with his friend, he should be able to, even if she didn't like it.

''I'll suggest it to him when we're done here today,'' he pulled her closer, kissing her temple, ''I have to get ready now. I love you, darling.'' A peck on the lips and Lewis approached Angela who was keeping hold of his gear.

The race itself wasn't that eventful beside a podium for Lewis. She proudly watched him with the rest of the Mercedes team as he stood on the second top step, sending him a wink and a flying kiss.

Afterwards, they met up with each other in his driver's room. ''Mon chéri!'' Y/N embraced him, a strong hold on him. ''I know it's not the result you were hoping for, but I'm proud of you either way.'' She cupped his cheeks, hating the disappointment in his eyes.

''Thank you, love.'' Lewis gave her a quick peck, knowing she isn't a fan of his sweaty form after his races. ''I still have the debrief with the team, but after that we can go and have those drinks.''

''Have you, uh, invited them yet?'' She referred to Sebastian, Valtteri and Tiffany.

He shook his head. ''No, but I'm gonna ask Val now and I'll ask Seb afterwards.''

''That's great.'' She said through gritted teeth. Y/N had a small hope that Lewis had been able to ask Sebastian already, and that the German had cancelled or had come up with a believable excuse as to not having to go.

Lewis pointed to his changing area. ''I'm gonna get out of this and then I'm on my way, darling.'' His champagne covered racing suit started to give him claustrophobia.

''Okay,'' she smiled at him, ''you know what? I'm going to take a little walk around the paddock, cause I saw Mark earlier and I didn't have the chance to say hi.'' Y/N used to be a Red Bull athlete for almost ten years, making her an old regular of the Red Bull Racing garage. That's also the place where she became great friends with the Australian driver.

''That's lovely, I'll text you as soon as I'm done, alright?'' Lewis grinned, delighted to hear she wasn't just going to sit and wait around for him. ''Say hi to Mark from me, darling.'' He winked before disappearing and changing into his Mercedes team wear.

Y/N swiftly freshened herself up, Lewis and his champagne-smelling sweat still lingering on her body. She grabbed her vintage handbag and was out of the hospitality.

She definitely underestimated how hard it would be to find Mark Webber in a Formula One paddock. Normally, he was quite easy to find or maybe he was always at the right places at the right time.

The Frenchwoman grabbed her phone from her bag and searched for the Australian's contact, not planning to look like an idiot while searching for him.

He didn't make her wait for too long, picking up the call after two rings. ''Hello, you cunt.'' Mark warmly greeted, a teasing tone present in his voice.

''Where the fuck are you? I've been trying to find you for like the past 10 minutes, did you turn into a ghost or something?''

''Oh, you would love for me to haunt you, don't you, Y/N?'' She could hear the smirk on his face.

Y/N almost snorted at his answer. She would have given him a witty comeback if it wasn't for the German man suddenly blocking her way. ''Uh, Markus, I'll call you right back.''

''Why?''

''There's a hazard in front of me and I don't know how long it's gonna take before it's fixed.'' She answered with an attitude, looking Sebastian right in the eye.

The ''hazard'' let out a scoff, her straightforwardness seemed to have grown even more over the years. However, he was impressed by the accuracy of his new nickname.

Mark chuckled on the other side. ''Alright- well, I'm by the paddock club with David so I'll wait here for you, mate.'' He said his goodbye, seemingly understanding that she was being held up by someone she wasn’t a huge fan of.

Y/N hung up the phone, placing it in her bag again. She wanted nothing more than to cross her arms and roll her eyes at the man in front of her, but they were in public and she was painfully aware of the eyes on them.

''I'm only smiling, cause that guy over there has his camera on us and I don't want to go through that again.'' The athlete warned Sebastian, not wanting him to think she was genuinely glad to see him.

The urge to roll his own eyes had never been bigger. ''I'm really happy to see you too, Miss Y/L.''

''I really don't have time for this,'' she sighed, ''what can I tell you that's going to make you leave me alone?'' Her bluntness didn't surprise him, she had never been the one to beat around the bush.

''I just saw you walking by and thought I might join you, you looked a bit lonely.'' He explained himself, his eyes focusing on hers.

She momentarily frowned, quickly fixing her micro-expressions. ''We both know that's not a good idea, Sebastian.'' His name rolled off her lips with ease.

''Why's that?'' He played dumb, he was aware why it wasn't a good idea.

''You really want to go that route?'' She sarcastically chuckled, a taunting smile on her face. ''Okay. Because us talking to each other like this will bring everything up again and I don't want to open those old wounds again, and I don't think you want that either.'' Y/N spoke calmly, but there was a fire behind her words.

The driver scratched his voice. ''Y/N, people are much more interested in your relationship with Lewis than they are in anything that has to do with me.'' A lot of time had passed, and Sebastian wanted to be able to talk to his old ''friend'' without being scared of what other people thought of it.

She was disappointed by his response. ''You really don't get it, do you?'' The athlete shook her head. ''Like I said earlier, I don't have time for this. Now, if you will excuse me- I have somewhere to be.''

Y/N moved past him, remembered something. ''Oh, and if Lewis asks you to get drinks with us, you say no. Have a nice evening, Vettel.''

Just as in the Mercedes garage, Sebastian watched her leave- not minding that he looked like a lost puppy whose owner left them alone at home.

''Too bad that Seb couldn't go.'' Lewis said, his eyes on the road and his right hand on her thigh.

Y/N nodded to his words. ''Yeah… did he, uh, explain what his project was?'' She too had been curious about what the German had been working on.

''Yeah, yeah! He's, uh, gonna do this t-shirt project to spread awareness about certain topics. For example, LGBTQ+, women in motorsport and all that stuff.'' Lewis summarised, echoing what his friend had explained to him.

His girlfriend continued her nodding along. ''That's very interesting.''

''I know. I love how Seb is coming out of his shell these days- like since last year, he's been really stepping up and taking a stance against injustices. He would have never done this 10-12 years ago when he was with Red Bull.'' The Mercedes driver had always admired Sebastian, but ever since he took the knee with him the previous year in regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, Lewis had found a new level of appreciation for his rival.

''That's really great, Lu. You seem very happy about it.'' No matter how complicated her and Sebastian's relationship was, she was relieved her partner had someone to stand beside him in the matters that he cared about.

Lewis smiled at her words. ''I really am, darling.''

Upon seeing the genuine thankfulness on his face, guilt spread through her body. Y/N had never explained the true nature of her history with Sebastian to her significant other. Of course there were rumours about it back in the day that Lewis was aware of, but to him they seemed obviously overdramatised.

She was keen on keeping everything that happened between her and Sebastian in his Red Bull days, in the past- Lewis didn't need to know about it. That was about the only thing both her and the German could agree on at the moment.

The vibration of her phone barged in on her clouded mind.

| UNKNOWN NUMBER I didn't mean to be insensitive earlier, I'm sorry. Good luck at Wimbledon, I know you'll do well! Love from Sebastian.

Y/N had blocked and deleted his phone number years ago, but the 4x World Champion always appeared to always find a way back to her.

''You're good over there?'' Lewis noticed her instant silence, quite uncharacteristic for her.

Her head shot towards him. ''Yeah, sorry- something about Wimbledon.'' She mumbled, unsure of what to tell him.

''Make sure you're there until the second week so I can come and see you play.'' He smirked, taking a glance at her reaction.

She rolled her eyes at him, making him giggle. ''Great, now I actually have motivation to make it to the second week, not the fact that I have a title to defend.'' Y/N sarcastically thanked him.

The tennis player had won the tournament three years in a row now, the 2020 edition being cancelled due to the covid pandemic. There was a lot of pressure on her to win the championship again, being one of the top players.

''I know you're gonna win.'' Lewis stated, matter-of-factly.

Y/N sighed. ''Don't say that, you know unpredictable these tournaments are, especially on grass.'' She appreciated her partner's confidence in her, but her own over-confidence had bitten her in the ass a few times in the past.

''I'm sorry, darling. You know you're my number one, you're always the winner to me.'' He squeezed her thigh, caressing it right after.

The side of her head rested against her chair, an appreciative look in her eyes. ''Merci, mon cher.'' She gave him a slow wink, one that her boyfriend imitated. ''You're welcome, love.''

''It doesn't happen that often that I replace Serena as number one, you know? So I'm gonna enjoy this moment.'' She teased, resulting in a pinch to her side from Lewis.

''Don't you dare tell her, she'll kill me.''

''I'm definitely telling her.''

''Yeah, I know.''

taglist :: @dannyramirezwife @luligirl_ @mistrose23 @azxulaa @develised @princesselle2111 @topguncultleader @poppyalice2001 @komorebi21

#sebastian vettel x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 x reader #f1 fics #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #f1 x oc #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x y/n #sebastian vettel x y/n #sebastian vettel x you #f1 x you #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #sebastian vettel

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cleabellanov · 3 months

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Jet-Skiing through Identity: a deep dive into Mobius M. Mobius (part 1) 🚤

The story started when you said hello.

Our first interaction with this character dates back almost three years now, on the 9th of June 2021. That was when the first episode of the Loki series was released.

So it goes: we see Mobius at the guiding side character, someone to follow in this vast new space the main character is suddenly thrown in. He is a calm, steady figure. However, his serious status as an analyst not cancelling a friendly character. The first ever shot in the series introduces Mobius under the sunlight. The following scenes show him speaking French to a little girl, proving a soothing behavior despite the tight situation they were in.

For someone who works at the TVA, he shows to be quite open minded. He, of course, has a very analytical mind - while still considerating he could think outside the box, whereas other of his colleagues wouldn't accept that a box exists. Even having studied variants, having a focus point is Loki, and knowing the danger it would bring to have to trust one, he still gives this variant a chance. More than that, he takes full responsability for it: when Ravonna says: "If anything goes sideways, it's on you" he responds with a relaxed "Okay".

The first impression Mobius leaves is, therefore, one of a relaxed, almost joyful one.

Although meant to be playful, his response to Loki's threat to "burn this place to the ground" with a flippant "I'll show you my office, you can start there" hints at a potential underlying dissatisfaction with his own situation within the TVA.

But that's not all, and when the easygoing dialogue doesn't work to get under Loki's skin (which couldn't have happened so easily anyway) we get to see where studying variants brought Mobius: to knowing how to manipulate through emotions, using the information at his hands. The only way to get Loki talking was to shatter the illusion he was maintaining, and Mobius knew that. Being able to see this variant for what they truly are proves his smartness, but "lack" of empathy. However, it is more of a block than a lack- for the sake of efficiency- as a consequence of not only working, but living your entire life in the TVA. As a consequence to this, great strenght is also required to keep your true nature instead of just letting it be erased by time and the utter dedication to the time keepers- the only beings allowed to tell right from wrong. Mobius proves that strenght too.

Then, in the second episode of the series, the frame narrows down: from the big scheme to a lower one. Now, a more comfortable theme seems to be growing in the atmosphere between these two characters. We can see Loki sitting with his feet on a desk, magazine in hand, having a small quarrel with Miss Minutes. This is when we find out that Mobius still has more to introduce about himself. There is something that gets him closer to the viewers: having a personal interest with no specific corrrelation with the rest of the story: jet skis.

Going on the first mission of finding the rogue Loki variant (Sylvie, as she is later called) Mobius doesn't let himself be fooled away by Loki's silver tongue, even if in attempt to give him the chance he brought him in for, he almost gets into his play. "You almost had me for a second. My ears are sharp too" Therefore, this character with a first impression of a calm guide and a comic relief isn't to be underestimated. Just because he believes in his cause (collaborating with Loki to fin his variant) it doesn't make him a fool. -> If you have to courage to believe in something impossible, you also have the strength to make it possible.

There is also a soft jelaousy in his character; and seen not only in his attitude towards Loki finding an ally in Sylvie. It's there when talking to Ravonna Renslayer about "other analysts", and the traces left by them in her office.

This might appear as a personal pride, when for Mobius, it is more like a fear: he's afraid of being abandoned or replaced. (Remember the "Who's gonna miss an old analyst with a heart of gold" from season 2?) This internalized feeling therefore translates to the jelaousy we see on screen (or the blocking of emotions once again, but we'll get to that later).

Ravonna's "I know you have a soft spot for broken things" reveales how this character always cared, maybe more than he should have. This desire to help Loki get better (spoiler: he succeeds) is rooted in his own heart, in need of the same care he is giving away. -> Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear.

It also grows quickly into something more, that strictly has to do with this variant, a sympathy that is not put into words, but is seen in actions.

He once again proves to be gentle with Loki, despite the latest mission not going the way he was supposed to. He's stubborn, still wanting to go his way even when there are so many others: safer, and that conform to the TVA. He wants to give Loki his daggers back (LOVE IS A DAGGER WHO?!?), clear proof that he is confident in what he is doing. While the potential consequences outweigh his previous actions , Mobius's determination stays the same.

The one unforeseen factor that disrupts his meticulously ordered plan is Loki's escape through the time door after Sylvie bombed the sacred timeline. For the first time, we see Mobius's cool crack, his frantic calls of "Loki!" echoing in vain.

#please tell me if I did any mistakes English is not my first language :)#if you liked this reblog so it can reach more people?#part 1: episodes 1-3 #mobius m mobius #loki #loki friggason #TVA #tvarchive #infinity stones #multiverse saga #infinity war #loki series #character analysis #but make it my personal one because i know this has probably been done before #tom hiddleston #owen wilson #mobius #lokius #tumblr writers

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matan4il · 11 months

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Just sitting here, quietly thinking about the fact that it turns out the attempt to save KPTS started on June 20, 2021. Because Filmania's problems in producing the show first became public on July 4th. And they only officially canceled the show on July 13th.

Apo tweeted on July 4th, and his brief words seemed to reflect the depths of his upset and disappointment.

But if Mile was taking action even before that in order to save the show, it means he saw what was coming. It means he understood the likely fate of the project before it was known for sure, he didn’t bury his head in the sand when he saw the worrisome signs, and he cared enough about KPTS, about the people involved that he had bonded with (and I believe more than anyone else on set, about Apo) that he took steps to prevent that reality from materializing even before it became a fact.

I have no words for how much I appreciate this man, his comprehension, his resolve and dedication, his caring, investment and passion. I have no doubt that Apo was a huge part of saving the show, too. Not just in terms of providing Mile with a huge chunk of the motivation to do it. I’m convinced that Apo was an active part of the efforts behind the scenes, providing crucial contributions. But nothing would have happened without Mile and I think he deserves credit for that. His efforts are not something that could have reasonably been expected of him. So let me say how much I'm grateful for him, for the fire in his bones despite how chill he always comes across, and for the bond that these two share that might have helped ignite the flame.

As a queer person, I can’t stress enough how much I love KPTS. How convinced I am that good representation matters. How close I hold Kinn and Porsche to my heart. How human this show made its queer characters and with how much dignity it treated them IMO. How freeing it was to see this celebration of queer love in all its forms, including the sexual ones. Yes, treating the sexuality of queer characters with respect and even joy, allowing them to do more than chastely kiss, that is incredibly important, too. That’s a part of what turns them into flesh and bone, not merely cardboard cutouts. No matter what the origins of the need to save the show, I have no doubt that the good it brought about grows exponentially (yes, as long as people keep discovering and watching the show, it will continue to grow), far beyond what Mile and Apo might have dreamed of when they first set out to try and make the show happen despite the fact that, as actors, that was never their designated role.

My heroes. Two kings. I’m so glad you met again. I’m so grateful for all the good that that is (i.e that you two are) responsible for.

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exilology · 6 months

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⸺ EXILE HER'S LIGHTSTICK EVOLUTION !

⸺ X - LIGHT 🪷 VER. 1 ... THE ORIGINAL 🌷

announced in JANUARY 2020, the original X-LIGHT is referred to as one that is as unique as its artist. many ATINY complained about how different the soloist's lightstick looked compared to label mate, ATEEZ's, lightstick that had been revealed a month later. despite the semi-backlash KQ received from the design, the lightstick still managed to sell over 300,000 units within the first day.

RETAIL PRICE : $69

– INCLUSIONS.

one random postcard out of three + one random photocard out of five + exile her logo stickers designed by the idol + wrist strap

⸺ X - BONG 🪷 VER. 1 ... THE LIMITED EDITION 🌷

announced in JUNE 2021, the X-BONG is a limited edition lightstick that was released in order to promote EXILE HER's upcoming collaboration with SAILOR MOON. the lightstick was only sold between June and August of 2021 and sold around 500,000 units within the first day. when pre-orders for the lightstick were announced, KQ's website actually crashed because of how much traffic there was. this lightstick is now seen as a collector's item along with the merchandise that came with it. reseller prices bounce anywhere between $500 - $1,500 depending on where you look and the condition the lightstick is in. Exile Her can also been seen with this lightstick, switching between it and her official lightstick.

RETAIL PRINCE : $150

– INCLUSIONS.

one random postcard out of three + one random photocard out of five + sailor her logo stickers designed by naoko takeuchi + fifteen decorative gems ( see picture above for gems ) + wrist strap + mini sailor her photobook + magical girl inspired cradle

⸺ X - LIGHT 🪷 VER. 2 ... THE FAVORITE 🌷

announced in OCTOBER 2022, X-LIGHT Ver. 2 was seen as an extreme upgrade from the original version. many IXLUVS and netizens praised KQ for the lightstick's sword design. along with a promotional photo, a teaser video featuring EXILE HER and the new lightstick was released that depicted exile her as a king arthur like figure with the video ending with the lightstick "sword" getting stuck in a stone. the design did manage to shock many fans, saying that the new redesign makes it look like a completely different lightstick from the original. and while the original is still cherished, Ver. 2 was extremely more well received with it selling around 500,000 units alone in pre-orders.

RETAIL PRICE : $82

– INCLUSIONS.

one random postcard out of three + two random photocards out of six + exile her logo stickers designed by the idol + wrist strap + stone designed cradle + mini exile her photobook with behind-the-scenes photos from the trailer

ib : @/venusvity

#exile her : misc #ateez added member #ateez addition #ateez ninth member #idol au #idol!reader #kpop addition #kpop oc soloist

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hjnxx · 2 months

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› › mascara — the debut single.

HIJINXX’s percussion driven first digital single, the song encourages the listener to avoid unhealthy relationships and know their own worth, letting them showcase their confidence and true talents. dropping officially on streaming platforms june 14th, 2021, MASCARA centers around an electronic hip-hop and dance-pop trap beat that creates a dynamic, upbeat pop song.

a formidable hit that made waves for all the wrong reasons domestically, MASCARA had the opposite effect internationally. nevertheless, HIJINXX would get the chance to perform the song on mnet’s m countdown, sparking the discourse surrounding their name. the official music video for MASCARA received 2.6 million views within the first week, highlighting how HIJINXX are quickly making their own statement around the world no matter what.

› PRODUCING & ARRANGING CREDITS : hongjoong, eden

› WRITING CREDITS : hongjoong, eden, ahyeon

› MUSIC SHOW WINS : 0

› CHART PLACEMENTS : #87 on bbHOT100

› MUSIC VIDEO : 1M views in 2 days, 2.6M for the first week

› STAGE OUTFITS, FROM LEFT TO RIGHT : AHYEON, MICHA, YUINA, EUNJI !

› ERA NOTES

wooo hijinxx first single! debut into the industry with fire and passion, this is what we like to see!

except comma,

the public reception to the single being mostly in english was genuine surprise. it’s not unheard of having english lyrics in k-pop songs, but the entire song? as a debut single? for a new group trying to find their own footing? yeah korean netizens were not having it at all. on a forum asking what people thought about the song, the top liked negative comment read: they should all move to america since they want to sing songs with no korean lyrics. they shouldn’t even call themselves a ‘korean pop’ group.

many were quick to come to the girls’ defenses though, saying that the song was meant to reach a wider audience since the survival show didn’t do as well as hoped. ratings for the show had tanked following the accusations of rigging and favoritism, so it wasn’t a long shot for the group to debut with such a song to appeal to a wider audience.

now on to the girls! yuina became a quick fan favorite with her expressions and stage presence, surprising viewers with her strong dance skills. it was then revealed that she spent many hours practicing the choreography over and over, sometimes well into the morning, even falling asleep in the practice rooms out of sheer exhaustion. hearing this, coupled with some tidbits of her life that she had revealed on the survival show, warmed her up to the public very quickly. her short rap in the song would also gain a bit of praise, especially for her lack of vocal wavering despite giving one hundred percent during performance.

despite this, kq would receive a lot of criticism for debuting the girls with ‘simple choreo’, the general consensus being that ( save for yuina who was really busting her ass on stage every time ) the other three girls would ‘walk instead of dance’ into each position.

micha received a ton of attention, some good, most of it bad. the main sore spot was that, as the main vocalist, she was given the most lines, but netizens would go on to complain that the company was favoring her through an unfair line distribution. hate comments would be left underneath the videos uploaded for the performances. she’s lucky she’s pretty, one commenter would write, otherwise i would really hate to hear the sound of her voice. when she dances she looks like she’s being electrocuted and it’s not like she tries to be likable.

eunji would go semi-viral for blankly staring at the screen during group introductions, the nerves getting to her so bad she would default to a semi panicked look. screenshots of the moments would go viral to be used as a reaction meme despite most not knowing where the pictures originated from.

mascara would be promoted for a month and a half, long enough for public performances / more busking, few idol interactions, and dance challenges—especially with their senior group, ateez. the ‘mascara challenge’ with yuina, wooyoung, and san would especially go viral due to atinys flooding the comments with love and poking fun at the notable height difference between san and yuina.

mascara did not gain any wins, but it would go on to chart and peak at number 87 on the billboard hot 100, marking their first entry on to a chart.

soon after the music video for mascara dropped, hijinxx would release a four episode behind the scenes series of filming, practices, and more for each member titled to their respective suit. ( ex : micha’s episode would be titled ‘HIJINXX - ‘MASCARA’ BTS : DIAMOND SUIT’ )

even though there wasn’t much to say about ahyeon’s performance, she would gain more traction for her persona off stage. atinys and aces would bond over hongjoong and ahyeon’s friendship, the bits and pieces of the two featured in her mascara bts episode showcasing just how close they were. considering she’s the one who actively pursued their friendship, their moments were received fondly as the two truly seemed comfortable together. the recording process especially showcased this, featuring a now infamous moment of the two poking fun at each other in the studio. one atiny would post on twitter, ‘new drinking game : take a shot each time ahyeon says ‘joong-ah!’ every time he acts like a little shit LMAOOO 😭 i love them together <3’, the tweet amassing enough attention for even the ateez members themselves to pick up on the teasing.

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draphrawrites · 9 months

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Dabihawks Domestic Doofuses Pt 2

Twitter Threads Pt 3 || Prev Next

Originally posted June 3rd, 2021

Keigo wouldn’t actually yeet Dabi’s first aid stuff for his cologne collection, but Dabi seems to have this weird idea that Keigo is vain and self-centered.

So, Keigo plays into it a bit.

“And you need your wings preened daily... why?” Dabi asks, running his warm fingers through Keigo’s feathers in firm, smooth strokes. Keigo’s eyes roll back, but he keeps his voice even despite his chin being smushed into a pillow.

“Commission standards,” he gets out.

“And those standards entail..?” Dabi pries, actually sounding curious.

They’re laid out on the bed with Keigo’s left wing draped like a blanket across Dabi’s lap. The villain is sitting cross-legged, his long fingers combing through Keigo’s wings for the third time this week.

It’s only Monday.

Dabi doesn’t seem to mind. It’s almost like it’s as relaxing to him as it is to Keigo.

‘Almost’ being the operative word here. Keigo’s bones feel melted and his muscles have unbound from years of clinging to each other in stress-induced desperation.

In short, Keigo’s never been a puddle before, but he’s pretty sure he’s on his way.

“Pretty for the public,” he eventually replies to Dabi’s query. “That’s the standard. Beat up is acceptable too, but only after a fight. And only if I won the fight.”

Full sentences are getting harder for Keigo the more Dabi warms his hands. Then he notices them getting a bit TOO warm.

“Dabi?” He asks, peeking over his shoulder to look at the villain. Dabi’s expression is stony.

“Only pretty or in pain,” he repeats. “That’s fucked up.”

Keigo grimaces. He hadn’t meant for it to sound that way, even if it was true. Mostly he’d wanted an excuse for Dabi to preen him more often because it felt amazing. If Dabi thought it was for pretty privilege reasons, he could bitch about it.

If he thought it was a manipulation or abuse on the Commission’s end, though... that could spell trouble. For both the Commission and Keigo’s daily preening sessions.

“It’s nothing outside the norm, you know...” he mutters quietly. “Lots of celebrities are required to keep certain standards.”

“Who told you being beat to shit was an acceptable standard?” Dabi growls low in his chest. Keigo can feel the anger practically vibrating through his feathers. Oddly, he feels touched. Dabi getting protective of him is... kinda hot.

New, too. Their arrangement thus far has been moving into scarily domestic territory, wherein affection and teasing are more the norm than aggression and sarcasm. Actual protective instincts though? That’s new. Normal Dabi would tell him ‘you’re the one with a thousand knives strapped to your back. You can handle yourself.’

So, call Keigo a little curious about this new turn of events. He arches an eyebrow at Dabi and contemplates how he wants to answer.

“It’s not like anyone told me it was ‘okay’ or anything,” he says slowly.

“More like I was congratulated for good work by my media relations team after a hard fight. If I was looking less than my best without a fight involved, I’d usually get a politely-worded email reminding me of public perception.”

Dabi absorbs that for a moment, idly stroking Keigo’s feathers. “No looking tired or pissed?” He muses. “I really would’ve made a shitty hero then.”

Keigo’s not sure he was meant to hear that last bit, but he does and it makes him blink.

“I think you would have made a good hero,” he counters, surprised to realize he means it. Dabi looks down at him in disbelief.

“Why the fuck would you think that?” he asks, voice sounding almost strangled. Keigo winces, hoping he hasn’t just poked a nerve.

“You’re passionate about taking down false heroes,” he says delicately. “Unwavering, really. And you fight even when the odds are stacked against you.” Before he can stop himself, he’s sitting up so he can face Dabi - more examples spilling from his lips unchecked.

“You pretend not to care for the League, but they all look to you when their own convictions waver. And they come to you when they need help.” Dabi tries to protest, but Keigo isn’t finished.

“You’re also really good with your quirk, even if it hurts you. Not many people have both power and control while knowing their limits, but I’ve seen you fight. You know exactly how much you can do before you have fall back. I know a lot of heroes who could use a little less ego and a little more sense like that.”

Dabi stares at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging slightly open. Then he forces himself to laugh.

“That ‘control’ was learned the hard way, in case you hadn’t noticed,” he says wryly, gesturing to himself. “Unless they’re giving out awards for not wanting any more fucking burns.”

Keigo tilts his head thoughtfully. “That’s fair. It doesn’t mean that knowing your limits and following them isn’t a rare trait, though.” He shrugs when Dabi looks at him. “Forty-two percent of hero fatalities come from heroes biting off more than they can chew.”

Dabi is quiet for a moment longer before he jerks his chin, indicating Keigo to lay back down. He does, hoping that the surprisingly serious talk hasn’t killed the laid-back mood. But Dabi just resumes stroking through his feathers, smoothing out the vanes as he goes.

The silence stretches for so long, in fact, that Keigo is almost dozing by the time Dabi speaks again.“And how long before you bite off more than you can chew?”

Keigo blinks, heart beating harder inside his chest, not wanting to think about it. Not wanting to acknowledge that he’d already done so when he decided to play house with a villain, knowing it could only end in some kind of betrayal. Either of his career or the guy he bullies into making pancakes for him.

“Well, I’ll just have to trust that you and your common sense will set me straight, I guess,” he says, snuggling deeper into Dabi’s lap. The villain hums in response, his fingers simply playing with Keigo’s feathers now, seemingly lost in thought.

Keigo lets Dabi drift, his own thoughts returning to how much easier this would be if Dabi were a hero. And how much he meant it when he said Dabi had the potential. It niggles at him. The realization that Dabi could have been in the same boat as Keigo. The standard of ‘pretty or pained’ combined by virtue of his appearance.

It bothers him, he realizes. To have those standards applied to Dabi. To think of him getting those stupid emails because he looked tired.

Maybe, Keigo thinks, leaning further into Dabi’s warmth. Maybe Dabi’s right.

Maybe it is fucked up.

Twitter Threads Pt 3 || Prev Next

#dabi #hawks #dabihawks #todoroki touya #takami keigo #my fic #fanfic #threads #mha #bnha #domestic fluff

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covidsafehotties · 17 days

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Preprint accepted May 1, 2024. To be published in June's Vaccine: X

Highlights

• There is no difference in the incidence of COVID-19 breakthrough infections between males and females.

• Younger population have more severe COVID-19 breakthrough infections symptoms.

• Despite less severe COVID-19 breakthrough infections symptoms reported in older patients, the major clinical outcomes were worse.

• Older people should be evaluated carefully when presenting with mild symptoms of COVID-19 breakthrough infection.

Abstract

Objective

Breakthrough COVID-19 infections are common following immunisation with various types of vaccines. The patterns of infections have not been well established. We aimed to analyse the signs and symptoms of post vaccination infections in addition to the need for hospital admission, ER visit and supplemental oxygen in relation to age and gender.

Methods

A cross-sectional cohort study was conducted in JUH from March 2021 to August 2022, we interviewed 1479 individuals who are >15 years of age and got a breakthrough infection. The statistical analysis was performed using STATA statistical software.

Results

Out of the 1479 cases, 50.2 % and 69.4 % were females and less than 45 years of age respectively. Symptoms of cough, fever and headache were reported by nearly 50 % of the patients, while one-third complained of dyspnoea. We found that participants older than 45 years had worse clinical outcomes (P-value < 0.001). 13 deaths were identified in this study due to breakthrough infection, 92.3 % of them were older than 45 years (P-value < 0.001). Participants ≥45 years who experienced a breakthrough infection of COVID-19 were 0.7 times less likely to be females using adjusted logistic regression.

Conclusion

This study indicates that despite more severe symptoms reported in younger patients, the major clinical outcomes were worse among older patients, which makes age a major risk for poor outcomes regardless of symptoms. Thus, older people should be evaluated carefully when presenting with mild symptoms of COVID-19 breakthrough infection. The study also confirms that there is no difference in the incidence of COVID-19 breakthrough infections between males and females. Prospective studies are needed to risk stratify COVID-19 breakthrough infections, which should take into account variants of the virus and comorbidities.

#mask up #covid #covid 19 #covid isn't over #pandemic #covid conscious #covid is airborne #wear a mask #coronavirus

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oracle-cassandra · 9 months

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What are Radblr's thoughts about this? I'm on my way to take a test when this article popped up on my screen, and I wanted to post this before I leave, especially given that this is published by Scientific America. However, Im personally skeptically that "social contagion" doesn't play a factor at all; I wouldn't doubt it plays into this even a little bit. I'm sure everyone knows about articles posted in favor of this fad from, like, two years ago from even big names like Mermaids, who have either been proved wrong or backtracked.

I have pasted the article below. There are links in the original article.

----------------

Health Care

Evidence Undermines ‘Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria’ Claims

Fears of “social contagion,” used to support anti-transgender legislation, are not supported by science

By Timmy Broderick on August 24, 2023

A recent study claiming to describe more than 1,600 possible cases of a “socially contagious syndrome” was retracted in June for failing to obtain ethics approval from an institutional review board. The survey examined “rapid-onset gender dysphoria,” a proposed condition that attributes adolescent gender distress to exposure to transgender people through friends or social media. The existence of such a syndrome has been the subject of intense debate for the past several years and has fueled arguments against transgender rights reforms, despite being widely criticized by medical experts.

The American Psychological Association and 61 other health care providers’ organizations signed a letter in 2021 denouncing the validity of rapid-onset gender dysphoria (ROGD) as a clinical diagnosis. And a steadily growing body of scientific evidence demonstrates that it does not reflect transgender adolescents’ experiences and that “social contagion” is not causing more young people to seek gender-affirming care. Still, the concept continues to be used to justify anti-trans legislation across the U.S.

“To even say it’s a hypothesis at this point, based on the paucity of research on this, I think is a real stretch,” says Eli Coleman, former president of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health. Coleman helped create the organization’s most recent standards of care for trans people, which endorse and explain the evidence for forms of gender-affirming care.

Many transgender people experience gender dysphoria, meaning that the gender that was assigned to them at birth and their gender identity don’t align, causing distress. ROGD was proposed as a gender dysphoria subtype in a 2018 paper by physician and researcher Lisa Littman, then at Brown University.* Littman’s survey asked parents of transgender adolescents—recruited predominantly from anti-transgender websites and forums—to describe their child’s “sudden or rapid onset of gender dysphoria” and to state if it coincided with increased social media usage or the child’s friends coming out as transgender.

Littman later issued a correction that updated the methodology, including a brief description of the websites and forums, and noted that ROGD is not a formal diagnosis. But the concept had already been taken upin books and podcasts—and by politicians—to promulgate the idea that peer pressure and social media are making kids transgender or that being transgender is a form of mental illness. As legislation targeting trans people has reached an all-time high in the U.S., ROGD’s alleged social contagion has been invoked by lawmakers in states such as Missouri, Utah and Arkansas to justify banning or restricting gender-affirming care for young people.

“This is just a fear-based concept that is not supported by studies,” says Marci Bowers, president of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health. The term ROGD is being used to “scare people or to scare legislators into voting for some of these restrictive policies that take away options for young people. It’s cruel, cruel legislation.”

Like the 2018 study that coined the term rapid-onset gender dysphoria, the recently retracted paper, which was published this March in Archives of Sexual Behavior, surveyed parents of transgender children about their children’s experiences. The study was co-authored by Michael Bailey, a psychologist at Northwestern University, and Suzanna Diaz, a pseudonym used by a mother of a child with gender dysphoria. Diaz is not affiliated with an institution and had already collected the survey data before collaborating with Bailey on the paper. The study was retracted because Diaz and Bailey did not get consent from the survey’s respondents to have their responses published, although Bailey disputes this. (Bailey declined to answer questions about the retraction from Scientific American.)

The participants in both the 2018 and the retracted 2023 studies were recruited from online communities that were explicitly critical about many aspects of gender-affirming care for transgender kids. Littman’s research was inspired in part by parents’ posts on these skeptical websites.

In response to criticisms that recruiting parents from anti-transgender websites may have biased the results, Littman says, “I reject the premise that parents who believe transition will harm their children are more likely to discredit their kids’ experiences than parents who believe that transition will help their children.”

Most experts cite the survey of parents rather than transgender children themselves as another major flaw in the methodology of both studies.

Diane Ehrensaft, director of mental health at the University of California, San Francisco, Child and Adolescent Gender Center, concurs. “To talk about what children are thinking, feeling and doing, particularly as they get old enough to have their own minds and narratives, you need to interview them,” she says.

Parents can often be the last to know about their child’s gender identity, Ehrensaft says. Coming out can be terrifying for many transgender kids. Family members often respond with violence or distrust or may even kick the child out of the house. Almost 40 percent of transgender youth experience homelessness or housing instability, according to a 2022 report from the Trevor Project, a nonprofit that provides crisis support for young LGBTQ+ people. Many kids who wait to discuss their gender identity with their parents before appearing to “suddenly” come out are simply keeping themselves safe, Ehrensaft says.

“It is not rapid-onset gender dysphoria,” she says. “It’s rapid-onset parental discovery.”

Many experts have also questioned what length of time qualifies as a “sudden” experience of gender dysphoria. Both the 2018 and 2023 studies left the definition up for parental interpretation. Complicating this, there isn’t one pathway or time line for being transgender, says Tey Meadow, a Columbia University sociologist who studies sexuality and gender. “For some people, it can evolve slowly. For others, it can evolve quickly,” she says.

For most transgender youth seeking gender-affirming care, considerable time elapses between when they realize they may be transgender and when they receive such care. A recent analysis of 10 Canadian medical centers in the Journal of Pediatrics found that 98.3 percent of young people seeking gender-affirming care had realized more than a year prior that they may have been transgender. “If ROGD were a real thing, we would expect to see two discernible streams of patients coming in [to receive care],” says Greta Bauer, a co-author of the study and director of the Eli Coleman Institute for Sexual and Gender Health at the University of Minnesota Medical School. There would be a distinct group of adolescents with more recent knowledge about their gender identity going to clinics and another group that had had such knowledge for years. “But we didn’t see that,” she says.

Thomas Steensma, a psychologist at Amsterdam University Medical Centers who provides gender-affirming therapy, says he has not seen evidence of the “social contagion” component of ROGD, and he cautions against even using these terms. “Rapid means out of control, and contagion signals a warning, and that warning induces fear,” he says. “There’s no evidence that certain developmental pathways are more problematic or less beneficial or helpful than others” for a child’s gender identity.

Steensma reports that he sees two “peaks” of referrals in his clinic: young adolescents and 15-year-olds. In a 2020 study Steensma and his colleagues looked at adolescent referrals from 2000 to 2016 and found no measurable difference in the psychological functioning or the intensity of the gender dysphoria between more recent referrals and those who came to the clinic starting in 2000. If adolescents are presenting with a different form of gender dysphoria, Steensma has not seen it.

The researchers did observe a change in their referral population in recent years, however. More kids assigned female at birth have been transitioning in recent years than those assigned male at birth. Many studies have captured this difference—including the 2018 survey proposing ROGD—but experts are unsure of its cause. Littman suggests that female-assigned kids are more susceptible to the “social contagion” of gender dysphoria because they feel social pressure more acutely than male-assigned kids. But Ehrensaft says nothing in the clinical literature corroborates this assertion. Instead she attributes this discrepancy to shifting cultural factors that influence how children express themselves and explore their identity. In our culture, Ehrensaft says, “there’s a lot more gender stress for the boy in the tutu than the girl in the football uniform.”

Other forms of gender incongruence, such as identifying as nonbinary or gender nonconforming, further challenge the idea that children should be forced to abide by traditional gender categories. And the best way to understand what kids are experiencing is to ask them questions and listen to their answers, Ehrensaft says.

“In some ways, [kids] are far more advanced than I am, as somebody in my 70s, about how they live and understand gender,” Ehrensaft adds. “So if we want to really understand gender, turn to the experts—and that would be the youth themselves.”

*Editor’s Note (8/24/23): This sentence was edited after posting to correct Lisa Littman’s occupation and her affiliation at the time of her 2018 paper.

#terfsafe #terfblr #radblr #radfems please touch #radfems interact #terfs please touch #terfs interact #radfem safe #radfemsafe

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crewfu · 10 months

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Hi ! I'm new around here, do you or anyone else have a crewfu primer to get to know the main people a bit more? Thank you! Xo

this is a big ask but i will do my best:

So we will start with “Crewfu” itself. I think the more used/accepted name for the group is the Morning Lobby. They are a group of streamers/content creators that met through playing Among Us. I'm not 100% on the start date but it was some time in Oct/Nov 2020 - April/May 2021. They had a reunion in June 2022 and continue to play Among Us every Wednesday since. I'll write a short synopsis for each current regular but the otv and friends wiki has a great list of the people who played in the morning lobbies. I also included some links to clips of some of the streamers that I really like.

Crewfu vods/videos I would recommend:

Crewfu panel at twitchcon 2022 edited / full vod

Crewfu plays pico park edited: hafu Dumbdog / full vod (steve)

Hafu’s birthday stream full vod

Hafu: She is the crew’s Mom. She set up the original morning lobbies daily for months. She’s a legend in the gaming community and has been streaming/playing games competitively for over 10 years. Choose any competitive game over this time period and Hafu has probably mastered it. She is married to another streamer called dogdog and they live in Las Vegas with their dog Jubbs.

dakotaz (dk): One of the og members of the morning lobby. He helped set up the lobbies with Hafu at the start due to the frustration of trying to find and play in lobbies at the height of Among Us popularity. Currently streams Fortnite almost daily. He has an alt stream where he sometimes streams Among Us and Valorant and any other games he feels like. He hits those, he's in his 30s, and he's petty all the time. He briefly lived in Vegas but he is a true Florida man and moved back after a short time.

5up: His twitter bio says “rank 1 among us player” He was a rival to Hafu in the og lobbies and was known for his big brain Among Us plays. He also acted as the substitute teacher during the original lobby run and held things together after hafu stopped playing among us in 2021. He commissioned a team to create a custom Among Us map called the submarine map. He plays a lot of competitive games currently like League of Legends, Valorant, TFT as well as MCC. He also travels a lot and he has a lot of friends in many different streaming circles like OTV&F, the minecraft community, etc.

stevesuptic: He was “poached” from a ChilledChaos lobby where he met Hafu and Dumbdog for the first time. He impressed Hafu with not only how funny he was but also with how bad he was at the game. He makes and produces his own music under the artist name "SUGR?" He's been a part of too many youtube channels to list but is probably most well known for Sugar Pine 7. He currently streams valorant and variety content pretty much daily. In May of 2023 he announced that he is roommates with Janet/xChocoBars, another member of the Morning Lobby. In July 2023 he got his own kitten named Olympus or Oly for short.

DumbDog: Despite his name he is generally known for being good at most games. He met Hafu through NorthernLion on the NLSS. He was a semi-regular participant in the original morning lobbies but I think he’s the only person who has been in every single lobby since the reunion. He recently bought a house and adopted a cute husky puppy named Artemis or Artie for short. He is a frequent member of the variety lobbies and plays with Steve and their group almost daily. He is a furry and as part of a sub goal he commissioned a fursuit and it was finished this year.

xChocoBars or Janet- She is a Canadian variety streamer and a regular in both current and original lobbies. She plays lots of group games with friends and is often addicted to certain games like APEX and TFT and streams them a lot. She has 2 cats named Hazel and Baton and recently became roommates with Steve.

Angelskimi or Kimi (formerly known as plushys): She is an ASMR artist who was a regular in the og lobbies and plays almost weekly now. She is a pretty irregular streamer but does upload on her ASMR youtube channel weekly. Despite her claims of being “so angel” she is an innuendo queen. She lives in LA with her dog Pix and her cat Snowball.

Ellum: He is one half of daft and dafter with Koji being the other half. He is one of the regulars from the UK. He calls himself the smoothest brain on twitch which may or may not be true. He streams variety games on most weekdays. He lives in London with his girlfriend (CaptainPuffy) and they have a corgi named Pudding together.

koji: He is the other half of daft and dafter. He is known for being a very wholesome streamer. His content oscillates from really cozy games to horror with occasional group gaming streams with friends. He is vegan and lives with his longtime girlfriend Abby and their 2 dogs Miso and Bugs.

Smajor / Smajor1995 / dangthatsalongname / Scott: He currently plays quite frequently in the morning lobby but his specialty outside of that is minecraft content. He is on the Empires server, organizes MCC, the life series, etc. I personally watch more of his youtube content than his streams. He lives in England but he is from Scotland.

Junkyard129: He is a new regular to the morning lobbies and has been playing every week for the last several months. He is the oldest person in the lobby and is often the butt of a lot of jokes because of it. He has probably been creating content longer than anyone else in the lobby as youtube says his first video was uploaded 16 years ago!! Currently streams variety gaming solo and with the Chilled group quite often. He also has regular streams from his woodworking shop where he makes cutting boards, coasters, etc to sell. He has a special dance that he performs when he gets raided.

vGumiho: She is a variety v-tuber who currently plays both in the morning lobby and with the Steve variety game group. She started becoming a more frequent regular when the crew started playing Valorant but plays most weeks for the Among Us lobbies currently. She has a dog named Kazu. She organizes ppsat lobbies which used to be weekly but are less frequent now.

Ovilee: She is an esports commentator who currently plays with the morning lobby most weeks. She also streams and she presented the morning lobby panel at twitch con.

#crewfu #the morning lobby #hafu #steven suptic #5up #dakotaz #dumbdog #vgumiho #junkyard129 #smajor #ovileemay #xchocobars #angelskimi #koji #ellum #honorable mentions to courtilly and karacorvus #they probably count as regs by now #but i'm tired and i think this post is long enough haha

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voidvannie · 4 months

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╰► 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍 ꒱

kaelyn burrow x jack hughes 💥🍓

˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

❛ ━━━━･❪𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘉𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘊𝘚 ❫

FULL NAME. Kaelyn Jo-Anne Burrow

NICKNAMES. Kae, KJ, Jojo, Little Burrow, Baby B

BIRTHDAY. May 11, 2003

AGE. 20 years old

HOMETOWN. Ames, Iowa

FAMILY. Joe Burrow (#9 Cincinnati Bangles)

LOVE INTEREST. Jack Hughes

FACE CLAIM. Sabrina Carpenter

❛ ━━━━･❪𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘉𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘊𝘚 ❫

Her favorite color is red.

She’s super close with Joe despite the seven year age difference.

Joe is super proud of all of her hard work and dedication in everything that she does.

The entire Bangles football team always buys her merch and listens to her music in the locker room.

Growing up, she wanted to be famous so bad that she begged her parents to let her audition for acting gigs, and later she started putting out music.

She lives on her own out in LA, but she had her own bedroom at Joe’s house in Cincinnati for when she visits or just wants to get away for a while.

Her and Olivia are absolutely best friends and it warms Joe’s heart to have two of the most important at people in his life being so close to one another.

Even though her brother player in the NFL, she’s a huge NHL fan, more specifically she’s a Jersey Devil’s fan.

Her best friend is Joey King.

She LOVES anything sweet, but she’s a sucker for donuts.

She’s not a real blonde, but keeps up with dying her hair because she doesn’t like her original hair color.

She calls Joe almost everyday especially when she’s missing her brother.

She dated her Girl Meets World co-star, Tanner Buchanan in 2016 before the two split up in 2019 on mutual terms.

In 2021, she was on James Corden where she played ‘Spill Your Guts’ and admitted she had a thing for Devil’s player Jack Hughes.

After the episode aired, everyone on the internet freaked out, making sure to tag the Devil’s Center player in everything.

Jack commented on her Instagram, sending everyone into a frenzy.

Joe, being the overprotective big brother he is, made sure he did his research on the hockey player before approving of them.

Their relationship was confirmed in June of 2021, when he posted pictures of her from a show that he went to while he was on tour with the caption, ‘my girl❤️’.

Jack’s family adores Kaelyn, her and Luke being the closest since they are the same age.

During the summers, when she’s not on tour, she’s spending time at the lake house with the boys, but she leaves early to make sure she sees her brother before their schedules get hectic.

She will NOT eat McDonalds, she’s told herself that she can’t have it and she’s sticking to that.

Her prefers waffles over pancakes and cupcakes over cake.

She’s allergic to nuts and make’s sure to keep her Epipen with her at all times.

Joe is her emergency contact so the one time in the Summer when she accidentally eats something with nuts (the boys at the lake house freaking out during) he jumps on the first flight to Michigan just to check on her.

She doesn’t keep in touch with any of her Girl Meets World but she has kept in contact with Corey (her closest male friend)

She hates her middle name, and knows she’s in trouble whenever someone call her only by Jo-Anne.

She has a small butterfly tattoo behind her ear that she got matching with Olivia.

She has a necklace that was given to her from Ja’Marr Chase for her birthday with a diamond encrusted plaque of her name, she never takes it off.

To add to the necklace from Ja’Marr, she has a shorted necklace that had Jack’s initials hanging from it that he gave to her that she also ever hardly takes off.

More will be added…

#❥ ꒰ 𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍 & 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 ꒱#❥ ꒰ 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 ꒱#❥ ꒰ 𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 ꒱#joeburrowsister #burrow!sister #burrow!reader #jack hughes x burrow!sister #nhl fanfiction #nhl blurb

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k-evans-reads · 1 year

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In Living Color

Chapter 7

Summary: When Natalie Marton, lead character designer for Buzz Lightyear, meets the voice of Buzz, Chris Evans, the sparks are undeniable. But when their work pushes them away from each other, both physically and emotionally, will the sheer differences between their worlds be enough to force them apart?

Pairing: Chris Evans x Pixar Animator OFC Natalie Marton

Word Count: 4,010

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Warnings: None.

Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

June 2021

Nat glanced out the window of her San Fernando apartment from where she sat on the couch, seeing the bright sunshine streaming in through the windows and able to hear the chirping birds outside, but it didn’t seem to lift her low spirits. It had been three weeks since Chris had gone to Europe but somehow it seemed so much longer. Having everything change and finally discussing the elephant in the room the morning of his departure was crappy timing, but Chris leaving had been even harder than she’d imagined it’d be. It’d given her the space in her mind to fill with doubts and worries, scared he’d come back only to cut things off with her or simply stay in Boston for months on end, unwilling to even see her. But a simple look around her apartment quelled her fears, seeing the two bouquets of flowers he’d sent her this week, remembering the others that had been delivered to her office as well, and his quiet, low voice murmuring “I’m crazy about you, Nat,” echoed in her mind. All it took was that and the memory of their never-ending text thread, even despite the nine hour time difference between them, to feel confidence flood her.

But it still felt so far away until she’d get to see him again, not even halfway through their time apart. It felt so much easier during the week when she was able to focus on work, her brain being occupied with her tasks, but the weekends were hard. So often in the spring, they’d hung out together, either at Chris’ home or Nat’s apartment, on the weekends, that the sudden free time was incredibly lonely. Which is what resulted in her still laying in bed at nearly noon on a sunny, warm Saturday. As if on cue, her phone pinged and she instantly grabbed it, smiling widely when she saw Chris a text from Chris.

Nat liked his message before tossing her phone back down on the bed, sulking back into her emotional funk. She mindlessly clicked through the channels on her television, trying to find something to watch, settling on an episode of Friends, then once it ended, she switched over to her streaming service to turn on her comfort movie. But before she could even click play, her doorbell rang, making Nat’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She hadn’t been expecting anyone but decided to climb out of bed, throwing on a sweatshirt before opening the door and finding a white bag sitting in front of her door.

Nat looked down the hallway for the sign of anyone but found it empty, only making her more curious than before. She quickly scooped up the bag and closed the door with her foot, not even being able to wait until she could put it on the table to pop the plastic container open and find some fresh tacos, a smile on her face instantly but it wasn’t from the food. It was because she knew exactly who it was from.

Her phone buzzed with a text from Chris, but she ignored the message – likely telling her he was back in his room – to instead hit the “call” button, holding the phone up to her ear and she dug further into the bag and found containers of guacamole and queso for her, both of which she loved.

Chris answered the call but Nat cut off his greeting, asking, “You sent me lunch, didn’t you?”

She listened as he chuckled to himself, something creaking in the background as he sat down. “Well I couldn’t let you go hungry, now could I?” He replied, his voice amused as she munched on a few tortilla chips and grabbed a plate from the cabinet.

“I don’t think I would have starved,” she muttered, rolling her eyes to herself. “In fact with the way I’ve been emotional eating lately, I’m sure my jeans would appreciate me missing a meal so my ass could fit better in them.”

He made a noise of disagreement at her words, but his voice was light as he shot back, “I’ve seen the way your ass fits in jeans and it’s pretty fuckin’ perfect if you ask me,”

“At this rate, by the time you come home my ass isn’t going to be fitting into any of my jeans,” she muttered again, sitting down at her island and putting the call on speaker phone as she reached for a taco.

But Chris’ low chuckle was nothing if not mischievous, and his words matched as told her, “That’s fine with me, because I prefer you without them anyway.”

“You’re trouble,” she murmured, pausing to take a bite from her taco. She listened to him on the other end as he moved around a little, wishing for nothing more than to be next to him right now. “And I really miss you.”

“I miss you too, Nattie. I miss you a helluva lot.”

Those words made her heart clench because she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was telling her the truth. She could hear the vulnerability in his voice and having him be so honest and upfront with his emotions was something so refreshing and unlike what she’s experienced with any other man before. He told her about his day, about what he and Scott got up to in France after he’d slept in, exhausted from the long few weeks from home and his own bed. But while she tried to listen to him, she couldn’t help but relish in how much it felt like he was there, right next to her, drinking a beer and eating a taco, nudging her with his elbow every time he told a joke, smirking at her every time she rolled her eyes at him. She missed him, so so much, enough that it nearly hurt.

She had finished the food and put away the leftover queso and was now heading back to lay in bed as he was laughing about a mix-up with their Uber that night. She couldn’t help but remember how miserable she’d been, not even an hour ago, having been laying in this bed, stewing in her thoughts and missing him. And while she still missed him, almost more than she had before, if that was possible, she was… happy. She was content, and she felt as though he felt the same about her, and it felt good. It was sad and lonely right now, but it felt good. “God, I just love talking to you, Nattie,” he murmured, his low voice rumbling right as she slipped underneath her duvet. “I just… enjoy you.”

And in that moment, those words felt like she’d been hit with a ton of bricks. Her stomach clenched in knots and instantly tears sprang to her eyes, those words bringing out so many emotions that had been buried deep inside her so long. She had always been the black sheep of her family, and although none of them had ever made her feel anything but loved, she knew she was different. She wasn’t strong and steady like her dad. She wasn’t level-headed and wise like her eldest sister, Heather. She wasn’t intelligent and driven like Alex. She was Natalie… She was emotional, sensitive and had a big personality, and was everything that her family wasn’t.

She knew that she was a lot to handle. Nat knew she wasn’t easy from her passionate and intense emotions and had felt for so long that those were flaws in her, thinking back to Shane’s words that often were dismissive and insisted only on talking to her when she had “calmed down” and “stopped being dramatic.” She had always felt as if she was lucky Shane put up with her personality, working so hard to tone it down to become more rational, less of her artist brain taking over. But somehow Chris hadn’t made her feel that way. He made her feel that he actually liked those things about her, rather than simply tolerating her and it was something she truly never even entertained being able to have in her life.

But here he was, so effortlessly expressing how much he simply enjoyed… her. And there was nothing that touched her heart more than that. But it wasn’t just the fact he was saying that, it was the fact that his actions had shown her just how much he valued her. It wasn't because of the flowers or the random gifts like today, it was because of how much time he always carved out of his day for her, even if it meant waking up early after a long night of shoots to catch her before she went to bed.

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper when she admitted to him, “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, Nattie,” he replied, a deep longing in his voice. “What are you going to do this afternoon?”

She shrugged, picking up her remote and turning her television on again, the screen flipping onto the info page for a movie. “I was just going to lay in bed and watch Casablanca,” she told him, her thumb hovering over the play button.

But Chris interrupted her as he rushed to tell her, “Don’t start it yet, let me get it up first,” his voice slightly muffled as he moved around in his own bed.

She couldn’t help but smile from where her head laid on the pillow, phone on her chest while she waited to hit play until he said he was ready. The two stayed on the phone the entire duration of the film, sharing their thoughts in key points, crying at all the same moments, and sharing the experience together, simply enjoying getting to spend time with one another despite being on different continents.

Nat had been so caught up in talking about nothing with him that she hadn’t even realized the time, shouting out an expletive when she saw the time and quickly apologized to him, saying she had to go and she’d be back in an hour.

The phone call ended hurriedly as Nat pulled on a pair of bike shorts and a t-shirt, running out the door after she jammed her feet into a pair of Birkenstocks. The drive to the Burbank Airport thankfully flew by, and soon she found her sister in the arrivals pick-up, waiting near the curb with her bag.

Nat guided her Izusu Trooper to the curb, parking it in front of Heather and jumping out to greet her. She wrapped her oldest sister in a hug, squeezing her as she said, “Heather! I’m so glad you’re here!”

“Me too,” Heather replied, quiet as she hugged Nat back, before they moved to load her things in the trunk. “Although I’d be a lot happier if I was here just to see you rather than go to this boring conference all week.”

“Well I’m going to break you out of it early a couple evenings and we’re going to Disneyland,” Nat smirked as she closed the hatch, heading back to the driver’s side as Heather went to the passenger.

As they sat in their seats, Heather looked at her with a relieved grin as she said, “Thank goodness.”

They were quiet as Nat drove them back onto the freeway and Heather sent her husband, Ryan, a text that she’d found Nat. “Are you still planning on coming home for Ella’s birthday?” Heather asked, eyes bouncing between the wide freeway and Nat.

Nat scoffed, knowing she’d had the date circled on her calendar for weeks. “Are you kidding? Like I’d miss a unicorn themed birthday party?” She asked Heather, almost incredulously. It was the one thing she’d been looking forward to since Chris left, excited for the chance to go home for a weekend. She’d be in the home stretch after that, with just over a month until Chris wrapped filming and came home.

“The girls are so happy you’re coming,” Heather interrupted her thoughts, causing Nat’s attention to shift to her two nieces, who she adored and missed so much. “And so are the rest of us. We all got so used to having you around last year that it just hasn’t felt right now having you home since Christmas.”

“It’ll be so good to come home, it’s been lonely here lately,” Nat admitted quietly as she shifted in her seat.

“The girls have been missing you like crazy,” Heather added, pausing as her phone buzzed. “Especially Lily. We’ve been trying to get her a little more out of her shell by putting her in some activities.”

Nat frowned, listening to her words. She’d always known – everyone in their family had – that Lily was the tough nut, the shy one who didn’t like new situations or new people as much, but she’d assumed that no news had been good news. “How’s that been going?” She asked Heather, glancing over at her as she changed lanes.

“We tried soccer and she cried the whole way to practice. Then we tried gymnastics and that only lasted two sessions,” Heather recalled, but then paused and smiled suspiciously at Nat. “But now we put her in an art class and she’s loving that. She came home the other day and said she’s learning how to be an artist like Auntie Nattie.”

Nat’s shoulders slouched and tears burned her eyes, threatening to spill as she listened to her sister. “Heather, don’t make me cry while I’m driving!” She finally replied, smacking Heather lightly with her right hand as she stared at the road.

Heather smiled, shoving Nat back playfully before she twisted in her seat to face her. “I was talking to Ryan the other day and I think we’re going to bring the girls down in September and do Disneyland,” she informed her, then shrugged and added, “I’m going to see if Alex and Zach want to bring Carson and you know dad will come.”

Nat nodded, already making plans in her head as she told her, “Just tell me when and I’ll take the week off.”

“Ryan’s just waiting to hear back from his boss so I’ll let you know,” Heather promised. “I just want us to do more things with all of us together.”

Nat exited the freeway, stopping at the light right outside of her apartment complex before she turned into the parking lot. “I’d really love that,” she whispered.

Heather watched Nat carefully as they grabbed their things, but nothing was said until they were inside Nat’s apartment. “...Dad told me what you said when he was down here with you… about being lonely,” Heather began as she rolled her suitcase into Nat’s room, turning to meet Nat’s eyes concernedly. “He’s worried about you, Nat.”

But Nat shrugged, biting her lower lip as she insisted, “I’m okay.”

“Are you really? Because dad wasn’t very convinced.”

“No, I am,” she repeated, then shrugged as she remembered the way she’d felt only an hour ago while she was on the phone with Chris. “It’s just been getting back in the groove of things after being home so long in the pandemic and it’s been an adjustment. But I’m happy, Heather, I promise.”

Heather gave her a look that showed her confidence in Nat’s answer, but soon all was forgotten as they settled on the couch to watch The Parent Trap. Nat welcomed the distraction from the questioning from Heather, but within an hour of her arrival, Heather turned her head, leaning an arm against the couch and asked, “Hey, what ever happened with that guy? Chris, right?”

Nat sighed, knowing she had a lot to say but just wanted to enjoy the night with her sister. “I’m going to give you the whole story but it’s a long one so I’ll tell you over breakfast tomorrow,” she told her, shaking her head.

Heather raised an eyebrow, an amused look on her face as she mentioned, “Sounds like it’s going to be a good one.”

“There’s a lot to tell,” Nat began, but then shook her head again as she smiled a little. “But I need you fully awake to hear it all.”

As they turned their attention back to the movie, within minutes Nat’s phone vibrated incessantly against its place on the coffee table, the screen telling her Chris was calling. She accepted the FaceTime call, fully intending to quickly tell him that she’d call him back tomorrow, but seeing his tired face on the other end of the line, so handsome despite that mustache above his upper lip caused her to linger.

She couldn’t help but smile, seeing him halfway propped up in bed, one impossibly thick muscular arm behind his head and the other holding up his phone, resting it on his stomach and letting Nat see his bare tattooed chest that she could vividly remember running her hands across. She tipped her screen slightly away from Heather, not intending to hide Chris from her but wanting to have the chance to tell her what had happened and who he was before this, but she didn’t get a chance to say anything first.

“Hey I know you’re busy but I’m just headed to bed and wanted to call you real quick,” he told her quickly, his eyes glancing off screen as he messed with his pillow for a moment. “I just miss you Nattie, and I wanted to hear your voice.”

Heather sat up across the couch from her, her eyes wide as she whispered, “Wait, is this him?”

Nat turned the phone so that Heather couldn’t see him, her eyes bouncing between Heather’s amused, excited look and Chris’ tired eyes on her phone. “Um yeah, but I’ll just be a second,” she told him, her voice sounding weird even to herself.

Heather all but whined at those words, her voice hushed as she told Nat, “No, no! I want to see him.”

Chris’ brows furrowed as Heather’s voice carried over the line, his voice quiet as he asked, “You got company, Nattie?”

“He calls you Nattie? Stop, that’s so cute,” Heather gasped, her voice a little louder as she watched Nat. “I want to see him.”

“Sorry, am I interrupting?”

Nat rolled her eyes, sending a glare Heather’s way before she looked back at Chris, informing him, “It’s just my oldest sister.”

“Heather’s there?” Chris asked, sitting up as he reached for something and then pulled a shirt over his head, jamming his arms through the sleeves quickly.

Heather had a smirk on her face as she listened to the conversation, making Nat kick her leg lightly. She ignored Heather’s laughter as she told Chris, who was turning on the bedside lamp, “Yeah she’s here for a conference this week.”

“Turn your phone, I want to see,” Heather practically ordered. Nat waited until Chris nodded then turned the phone as she scooted down the couch. She held it in front of Heather’s face, watching the phone as Chris waved a little awkwardly. “You’re shitting me right now.”

She smirked a little as Chris laughed loudly and Heather’s jaw dropped, rushing to defend herself and tell her sister, “I was going to tell you tomorrow.”

“You’ve just been casually keeping it a secret that you’re dating Chris EVANS?”

“I said I was going to tell you tomorrow!” She repeated, her voice rising as she took her phone back with a frown, but it didn’t stay long as Chris laughed again at their mini-argument.

Chris smiled at her, but then cut in and said, “It's nice to meet you, Heather. I’ve heard so much about you and your family from Nattie.”

“I wish I could say the same about you, but don’t worry, I’m going to get some details out of her before the night is over,” Heather laughed as she shook her head to herself.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, I just wanted to call and say goodnight,” Chris sighed, laughing a little as Nat all but glared at Heather. “Can I call ya’ tomorrow, Nattie? I have a night shoot so I’ll be around most of the day.”

She turned her attention back to Chris, nodding and telling him, “I’ll call you in the morning.”

“Nice to see you Heather,” Chris called, waving a little as Heather did as well. “Goodnight, Nattie.”

She wished him a goodnight just before he hung up, then tossed her phone onto the couch cushion next to her with a sigh as she leaned back, unsure what to say given Heather’s recent revelations. “Okay, what the hell? How is it that you didn’t mention any of this?” She asked loudly.

“In my defense, I did tell you about Chris,” Nat told her, handing her hands up innocently as she stared at Heather.

Heather rolled her eyes, scoffing as she corrected her, “You failed to mention it was Chris Evans. That’s kind of a big deal!”

“That’s why I didn’t want to mention it. I didn’t want it to be a big deal when I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with him being in Europe to film for a few months,” Nat admitted, biting her lip nervously as she remembered those fears.

Heather tilted her head, looking at Nat curiously as she spoke. “He called you just to say goodnight and hear your voice… so I think you can be sure,” she told her, leaning an arm on the back cushion of the couch as she looked at her younger sister. “How do you feel about him, Nattie?”

Nat sighed, unable to help herself as she smiled and admitted, “Heather… he’s incredible.”

Heather all but scoffed again, joking, “Well duh, just look at him.”

“I mean, I’m not complaining about that,” Nat assured her with a short laugh, but then waved a hand vaguely. “But it’s so much more than that, Chris is… one of my best friends.”

Heather’s smile turned genuinely happy for Nat, and she reached out to touch her hand as she told her, “That’s the way it should be.”

Nat nodded, swallowing some emotion away as she confessed, “I just have come to see that I never had that with Shane. I never felt like we were friends.” She paused, reaching for the box of tissues on the coffee table as she shrugged and wiped her eyes. “I never felt like he enjoyed spending time with me… and looking back I see that I never felt like he even enjoyed me unless I was doing exactly what he wanted.”

Heather’s face fell as she listened to Nat’s admission, and Nat knew that despite having never told any of her family that feeling before, it was more than likely a known topic of discussion among the other Marton members. They hadn’t been shy in telling her after she and Shane broke up that they weren’t the biggest fans of him towards the end, but Nat could only guess how long they truly felt that way. “But you don’t feel that with Chris?” She asked Nat quietly, a protectiveness in her voice.

She shook her head, a pleased, but also relieved smile on her lips. “I feel like Chris likes me,” she told Heather, shrugging. “He makes me happy that I’m me, rather than embarrassed.”

And the matching relieved smile on Heather’s face told Nat all she needed to know about Heather’s gut feeling as she said, “That’s the way that it should be, Nat. That’s how it is when things are right.”

Heather’s simple words echoed in Nat’s mind as the characters in the movie arrived at the hotel, capturing the older woman’s attention. But Nat couldn’t help but stare at her phone, a tiny grin on her face as she saw a text from Chris, apologizing for the interruption and hoping that she enjoyed Heather’s visit. And for the first time in nearly a month, she felt at ease and content with life, not just with Chris.

A/N: We can’t wait to hear your thoughts!!! Thank you SO much for reading.

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