#dean doesn't trust sam with demons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bccky · 10 months

Text

Souls Intertwined By Fate

Part 3

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader

Summary: As soulmates, you can feel the exact intensity of pain as your other half when they get hurt. So what happens when your soulmate literally goes to hell?

Words: 1418

Warnings: descriptions of death, mention of suicide, angst, full discretion is adviced

A/N: Sorry for the wait, but it's finally here! You and Dean finally meet, and the world you've just settled into threatens to give in // Dividers by @firefly-graphics // hope you like this one Xx

⇤ PART 2

Supernatural Masterlist • Main Masterlist

Souls Intertwined By Fate Masterlist

From the moment you had left Ellen's bar, you had felt a unique kind of dread, the emptiness in your heart widening with each step you took away from the person you had destined to be with.

But it is the best for both of you, that you are sure of.

You don't hesitate to admit that you are selfish to try to save yourself from prospective heartbreak or have the possibility of going through what your mother had gone through, especially when you now knew that he was a hunter as well.

"Morning, Y/N." Chris mutters with a quick kiss to your neck as he hugs you from behind.

"Good morning." You smile as you turn and close the gap between your lips. You were making coffee after getting up from the bed you share with Chris, and this has become a new normal for you.

It has been a couple of weeks since you landed in the small town of New Harmony, Indiana.

Excluding a few aches, cuts and bruises that aren't visible or have a cause, you have had no interactions with the supernatural - willingly keeping off from reading news or watching it on the TV.

You know your intuitions won’t help pick off the signs of those activities in the world, you're just going to ignore it.

Well, you did investigate Old Neil's Cabin, and having found that he hasn't hurt anyone yet, you let him be - but not before making a note on where he is buried.

It's a simple start to the day as it has been for a while now, and for some reason, there remains a feeling that something is wrong - or better yet, something is missing.

Still, as you help around Chris’ family diner and motel, there remains the familiar signs of adrenalin rush that you know come from hunting, even when you’re doing something as mundane as getting a plate of fries to the customers.

There is random quickening of your heartbeat, and the dreams of his green eyes, when you’ve only seen them once.

So in this quaint little town, the sun dips below the horizon once more, casting a warm glow across the streets. Your break from the hunting life gave you a little bit of solace in this peaceful corner of the world. The semblance of normalcy feels like a weird sense of relief.

And today, it just seems like it will be happier than many before.

Meanwhile, Dean Winchester, the ever-determined hunter, was on the road once again with Sam beside him. This time, he is a little serious - with the short time frame of his inevitable death hanging over his head.

But he is happy today, it's his birthday today, and Sam got him a box of little things, from his favorite aftershave to a smart-looking watch.

He feels a little guilty while thanking him because he doesn't trust him enough to keep a secret from Ruby, he hasn’t told his brother about his soulmate yet.

He doesn’t want to know what limits the demons will test with someone they can hurt him with, even without getting a hold of him.

“I’m hungry.” Sam complains while reading a newspaper.

“I’ll pull up to the next diner I see.” Dean says. “Besides, it's been too long since I got a belly full of something cheesy.”

“You had a lunch full of cholesterol yesterday, Dean.” Sam reprimands him with a shake of his head.

Dean’s stomach rumbles just in time as a reply to Sam’s comment. “Let’s find some food in this town.”

Some time later, they come across a diner, and Dean wastes no time hauling up next to it. The bell above the door tinkles as they enter.

“Finally.” Dean mutters, glancing around the diner. It isn't overly crowded, probably just a few locals scattered across the booths. He spots an empty seat by the window and starts walking towards it, Sam following closely.

As Dean studies the menu, Sam leans across the table. “You know, man, you’ve been acting a bit weird lately. Anything you wanna talk about?”

Dean sighs, trying to avoid this conversation. “Not today.” And with efforts to do so, he averts his eyes, flitting them across the diner.

But then, his eyes lock onto a waitress, her seeming oddly recognizable. He swallows hard, torn between his instinct to approach and the fear of her reaction.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice pulls him from his trance. “You okay?”

He shakes his head, plastering on a faint smile to mask his nervousness. “Yeah, just lost in thought.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately.” Sam comments.

You smile at Ellie as you get her order, a usual patron of the diner. You feel unusually happy today, and while you don’t know the reason why, you don't want to jinx it and so you just go on about your day.

Then your heart starts beating rapidly again, but the palpitations aren’t what you are used to.

You turn with furrowed eyebrows and closed eyes. When you open them, they find green ones - to be more precise, those from your dreams.

Time stands still, and recognition flashes between you two - a connection stronger than memory, a bond forged through shared emotions. Your breath hitches, your soulmate is sitting right in front of you.

You don’t know what to do, and while your heart wants to stay, your brain decides to run away. And so, you hurry through the side door of the diner.

“I’ll be right back,” Dean announces and rushes right after you, leaving Sam with no second thought.

You’re there, standing against the wall under the streetlamp in the back alley, your hand against your chest. The night falls, and you look like an angel glowing in the yellow light.

When your eyes join, your hearts start thumping in a turbo-mode and neither of you know if it's because of the bond or due to the other's presence.

“Hi.” Dean whispers, not knowing what else to say.

“Hello,” You whisper back, not wanting to break the bubble that has formed around the two of you.

The traffic from the main road has quietened down, as has the chatter from the busy diner, and all you’re aware of is this beautiful specimen of a man, and your conniving heart which has finally won against your brain.

“How are you?” Dean wants to hit himself just as the words leave his mouth. But then again, what are you supposed to say to your soulmate when you come face to face for the first time?

“I’m good. What about you?” You ask, a smile appearing on his face that you cannot help but match him. And my god, the crinkles that frame his eyes.

“I guess I’m good too - now that I met you.” Both of you laugh, and when your heart finally allows your brain to speak, you start drowning in anxiety, leaving you speechless again.

Everything that you’ve been running from, everything you left behind and everything that you’re up against is on his feet, just a few feet in front of you. Your soulmate.

While it feels like it has been decades, it has been only minutes.

Before you can conjure up a sentence, the side doors open with a thud - and Chris appears, looking tense.

“Everything all right here, Y/N?” Chris asks, staring at Dean as if to determine if there are any signs of aggression, and then settling on you to ensure that you’re fine. “Ellie told me to check up on you.”

His posture straight and hands in a fist, almost like he’s getting ready to fight, fight for you.

The men stand tall with chests puffed, nearly similar in height as they both try to intimidate each other.

You nod, hoping to calm him. “It’s okay, Chris, this is -” you stop there, not knowing his name.

“Dean,” the man completes. You sheepishly smile at him before turning to Chris.

“Chris, this is Dean, my… My soulmate.” Saying it leaves an unnatural taste in your mouth,

You see his features turn from hostility into those of apprehension as he replies, his eyes narrowed. “I see…”

“Please give me a few minutes, Chris, I’ll come find you.” He gives you one final look, asking indirectly if you’re sure, and you nod with reassurance before he leaves.

“So Y/N, is it?” Dean asks, and you bite your lip.

“Yup. I guess we have a lot to talk about.”

Part 4 (Coming Soon on Tumblr/ Read it on BuyMeACoffee Now!)

I’d love to hear what you think of it! Please like, reblog and comment to let me know Xx

I just started a BuyMeACoffee Page where you can read Chapter 4 right now! Its kind of an emotional one where you have a difficult conversation which will determine where you will go from here.

My BMAC Page also has the first chapter of a new Dean Winchester X Reader story with the following summary: Best friends Dean and Y/N navigate a world of supernatural challenges and unspoken feelings. Sam, the ever observant brother, and Cas, the ever puzzled angel of the lord, discreetly encourage their romance through late-night talks, teasing, and shared hunts. As tension builds and emotions simmer beneath the surface, their journey unfolds through this story.

READ IT HERE- SECRETS OF A HUNTER'S HEART

Find out what else I offer on my buymeacoffee page - HERE

It's okay if you can't support me monetory-wise right now, even reblogging my fics help a lot!

Tags in reblog, either comment or reblog this fic if you wanna be tagged in the next part Xx

Thank you so much for your support ♥

Yours Truly,

Vee 💕

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester angst #dean supernatural #dean winchester x reader fluff #dean winchester x yn #dean winchester x reader angst #dean winchester soulmates au #dean winchester soulmates #dean winchester series #dean winchester x reader series #supernatural fluff #supernatural fanfiction #jensen ackles x reader #supernatural imagine

310 notes · View notes

lila-lou · 2 months

Text

✨Beyond saving - Pt. 3✨

Summary: I hate summaries, so this is part 3 of "Beyond saving".

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only!, Smut, mention of rape (well, detailed), Language, Angst, Hurt, soft dean (literally), it´s just a loooot

Word Count: 7600

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As another week has passed, Sam entered the kitchen, noticing you sitting alone on the ground, your eyes fixed on the table where Dean had inflicted so much pain upon you. He approached you cautiously, sensing the weight of your emotions hanging heavy in the air.

"Hey", Sam said softly. "How are you holding up?".

You glanced up at him, your eyes weary and filled with sadness. "I'm… I'm trying", you replied hoarsely, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sam sat down beside you, offering a comforting presence as he reached out to gently squeeze your hand. "I know it's not easy", he said sympathetically.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you leaned into Sam's embrace, the weight of your pain almost too much to bear.

"I know it's hard to believe right now, but Dean still loves you", he said gently. "He's hurting too, maybe even more than you realize. He hates himself for what he's done to you, for what the demonic version of himself did. It wasn't the real Dean, you know that, right?".

You nodded slowly, tears brimming in your eyes as you struggle to come to terms with Sam's words. "I want to believe that. But it's so hard, Sam. Every time I look at him, all I can see is… is what he did to me".

"I know", he mumbled. "But you have to remember that Dean would do anything to take back what happened, to make things right between you two. He's fighting his own demons right now, just like you are. And I know that deep down, he's still the man you fell in love with".

"I know it's going to take time", he said gently. "But I truly believe that you and Dean can find your way back to each other. You've been through so much together, and I know that love doesn't just disappear overnight".

"Thank you, Sam", you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what I would do without you".

Sam smiled warmly, giving your hand another reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to thank me. We're family, and family looks out for each other. We'll get through this together, I promise".

As the days passed, you found yourself greeted each morning by the aroma of freshly prepared meals and the sight of a bouquet of flowers adorning your doorstep. With each delivery, your heart ached with a mixture of longing and hesitation, unsure of how to respond to Dean's gestures of remorse and affection.

Yet, despite your reservations, you couldn't deny the sincerity of his efforts. Each handwritten note contained memories of the happiest moments you had shared together, reminding you of the love and joy that had once filled your relationship.

With each meal and each note, Dean sought to bridge the gap between you, to remind you of the bond that had once bound you together. And though you remained guarded, the warmth of his gestures began to thaw the icy walls around your heart, slowly but surely.

As you sat alone in your room, reading through Dean's heartfelt words and savoring the meals he had prepared, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope stirring within you. Perhaps, just perhaps, there was a chance for forgiveness and reconciliation after all. And with that thought in mind, you found yourself daring to believe in the possibility of a brighter future, one where love and trust could prevail over pain and sorrow.

As the days passed, you found yourself slowly opening up to the idea of letting him back into your life, of giving him a chance to make amends for the pain he had caused.

With each meal he prepared and each note he left, Dean showed you that he was willing to do whatever it took to earn your forgiveness and rebuild the trust that had been shattered.

Two weeks later, as Sam ordered Pizza, Dean made his way towards sam and the delicious smell. As Dean reached for the pizza, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. Startled, he turned to see you sitting next to Sam, your gaze fixed on your hands clasped tightly in your lap. For a moment, he hesitated, unsure of what to do or say.

But then, a flicker of hope ignited within him as he realized what this moment meant. After weeks of isolation and silence, you had finally taken a step forward.

With cautious optimism, Dean approached you, his movements slow and deliberate. He sat down beside you, careful not to startle you, his heart pounding with uncertainty.

"Hey", he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's, uh, it's good to see you".

You glanced up at him, your eyes meeting his briefly before flickering away. Dean's heart ached at the sight of your pain.

As the dinner progressed, a heavy silence hung in the air, broken only by the occasional clinking of utensils against plates. Dean tried to muster up the courage to speak, to break the tension that seemed to suffocate the room, but the words caught in his throat.

Your gaze fixed on your plate, unable to meet Dean's eyes or engage in conversation. Every fiber of your being screamed with discomfort, your stomach churning with anxiety from being in such close proximity to him.

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his heart heavy with guilt and regret. He longed to reach out to you, to apologize for everything he had put you through, but he knew that words alone would never be enough to mend the damage he had caused.

Finally, unable to bear the suffocating silence any longer, Sam cleared his throat, breaking the tension with a forced smile. "So, uh, how's the pizza?", he asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from the elephant in the room.

You shrugged, not trusting yourself to speak, your throat tight with emotion. Dean swallowed hard, his own discomfort palpable as he forced himself to take a bite of his pizza, the taste turning to ash in his mouth.

Despite his best efforts to push aside his guilt and make things right, Dean couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over him like a dark cloud. As the dinner dragged on, he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever be able to truly make amends for the pain he had caused you.

As the tension lingered, Sam attempted to lighten the mood with small talk, but his efforts fell flat against the weight of the unspoken turmoil between you and Dean. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, the heaviness in the air suffocating.

Dean's heart ached with every glance he stole in your direction, the sight of your pain etched into every line of your face piercing him like a knife. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to you, to beg for your forgiveness.

For you, the meal was a torturous ordeal, you struggled to suppress the torrent of emotions threatening to consume you.

After dinner, Sam tentatively suggested watching a movie together, hoping to provide a distraction from the heavy atmosphere that lingered between you and Dean. He could see the strain etched on both of your faces and desperately wanted to find a way to bring a sense of normalcy back to your lives.

You hesitated, the thought of spending more time in Dean's presence filling you with dread. But with a small nod from Sam, you reluctantly agreed.

As Sam set up the movie, you and Dean found yourselves sitting on opposite ends of the couch, a palpable distance separating you. The air was thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension, but for the moment, you both focused on the screen in front of you, allowing the movie to serve as a temporary escape from the turmoil that surrounded you.

Despite the heaviness that still hung in the air, there was a glimmer of hope in Sam's eyes as he watched the two of you attempt to coexist in the same space. He knew that healing would take time and effort, but he was determined to do whatever it took to bring his family back together, one small step at a time. And as the movie played on, he silently prayed that tonight would mark the beginning of a new chapter for all of you.

As the movie played on, Dean found it nearly impossible to tear his gaze away from you, his heart aching with every fleeting glance he stole in your direction.

A torrent of guilt and remorse washed over him, threatening to drown him in its depths.

In that moment, Dean would have given anything to ease your suffering, to take away the pain that he had inflicted upon you. If cutting out his own heart and offering it to you would mean healing your wounded soul, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But as he sat there, watching you, he felt utterly powerless, his own torment mirrored in your tear-stained eyes.

Another week passed, and tentatively, you began to open up to Dean once more. Your heart clenched with uncertainty as you heard his voice, but you knew that avoiding him forever would only prolong the pain for both of you. So, you found yourselves sitting across from each other at the large map-table.

Dean's question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. "Are you able to sleep again?", he asked, his voice laced with concern and regret.

You hesitated for a moment, the memories of sleepless nights and haunted dreams flooding back to you. But then, with a small nod, you found the strength to answer. "Yeah, I am", you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

It was a small victory, but it felt like a significant step forward.

"I'm so sorry", he whispered, his words heavy with regret. "I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for what I did to you".

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself as you met his gaze. "You hurt me, Dean", you said, your voice quivering with emotion. "You hurt me in ways I never thought possible".

Dean's expression crumpled, his heart breaking as he listened to your words. "I know", he murmured, his voice choked with tears. "I know and I hate myself for it".

"You… you raped me, Dean", you continued, the words catching in your throat. "You violated me in the worst possible way".

Tears fell down Dean's face as he listened to your confession, the weight of his actions bearing down on him like a crushing weight. "I'm so sorry", he repeated. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you".

You took a shaky breath, your heart heavy with pain. "I want you to understand", you said, your voice wavering with emotion. "I want you to understand what you did to me".

"You shoved me against the table, Dean. You didn't care that I was begging you to stop. You didn't care that I was in pain".

Dean´s voice choked with tears. "I know, I know. I was a monster. I should have never—". But you cut him off. "You broke my wrists, Dean. Do you even realize how much that hurt? Every time I moved, every time I tried to do anything, I was in agony".

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never should have touched you".

By now, your voice was trembling with emotion. "And my ribs, Dean. You broke them too. Every breath felt like knives stabbing into my chest. I couldn't even breathe without feeling like I was going to pass out". Tears started streaming down your face.

"And then you… you fucked me until I bled, Dean. Do you understand what you did to me? Do you understand how much pain you caused?". You paused. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you, Dean. But I want you to know… I want you to know what you did to me".

Dean sat there with teary eyes and wet cheeks, his heart breaking with each word that fell from your lips. He listened to the pain in your voice, the anguish in your eyes.

Every detail you recounted of the horrors he had inflicted upon you pierced his soul like a thousand knives. He couldn't bear to look away, couldn't bear to turn his gaze from your tear-streaked face.

In that moment, he felt the weight of his actions crush him with a force he had never known before. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, to hold you close. But he knew that he didn't deserve it, knew that he had caused you too much pain to ever be worthy of your love again.

All he could do was sit there, his heart heavy with regret, and pray that somehow, someday, he could find a way to make amends for the irreparable damage he had done.

"I lay there for hours", you confessed, the memories still vivid in your mind. "I couldn't move, couldn't even catch my breath. Every inch of my body was screaming in pain, and all I could do was lie there and pray for it to end".

You continue, your voice laced with bitterness and sorrow. "After that, I stopped looking for you", you admit, the words heavy on your tongue. "I stopped trying to save you, stopped caring".

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of your words sinking in.

Dean's eyes glistened with unshed tears as he listened to your words, his knuckles white from the tight grip he held on his emotions. "I wanted to kill myself", he confessed in a voice barely above a whisper. "That's how much I hated myself for what I did to you".

Your words cut through the heavy silence like a knife, each syllable dripping with the bitterness of your pain. "I'm already dead because of what you did to me", you said, your voice laced with a coldness that sent a shiver down Dean's spine.

His eyes closed in anguish, the weight of your words bearing down on him like a crushing burden. You were his everything, the love of his life, and the thought of spending his days without you was unbearable.

"I wanted to marry you, to build a future together", Dean whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I wanted to have children with you, to grow old with you by my side. But I… I broke you".

The pain and heartache radiating from him was palpable, and despite your own suffering, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of empathy for the man who had once held your heart in his hands.

"I know", you finally replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know you're hurting, Dean. But… but what you did to me, it's something I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive".

Dean's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his gaze dropping to the floor as he struggled to contain his emotions.

"I understand", he said softly, his voice tinged with regret. "I don't expect you to forgive me, not after what I've done".

During the following two weeks, Dean spared no effort to demonstrate that he was no longer the monster he had once been. He cooked for you, cleaned the bunker without being asked, and even went out of his way to avoid any situation that might make you uncomfortable. Every gesture was infused with a desperate longing for redemption, a silent plea for your forgiveness.

As you sat in the TV room, enveloped by the soft glow of the screen, a bowl of popcorn nestled in your lap, you felt a sense of tentative peace settle over you. It was the first evening Dean and you had been alone since Sam and Cas had left on their hunt, and for once, the weight of the past seemed to lift ever so slightly from your shoulders.

Lost in the movie playing before you, you barely noticed when Dean appeared in the doorway. His eyes lingered on you, filled with longing.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. But then, with a hesitant step forward, Dean cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence that had settled over the room.

"Mind if I join you?", he asked, his voice tentative as he gestured to the empty space beside you on the couch.

You hesitated, torn between the desire to push him away and the faint glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different this time. After a moment's pause, you nodded silently, scooting over to make room for him on the couch.

As Dean settled in beside you, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, his eyes softening with gratitude and relief.

Dean watched you, his gaze lingering on your profile as you became engrossed in the movie playing on the screen. A flicker of recognition crossed his features as he realized it was the same movie from your first night together in the bunker—the night when everything had felt so new and full of promise.

"You remember this?", he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he glanced at you, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes.

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as memories of that night flooded back. "Yeah", you replied, your voice tinged with warmth. "It feels like a lifetime ago".

Dean's expression softened at your words, sadness clouding his features. "I miss those days", he admitted. "I miss us".

You turned to look at him. "I miss us too", you whispered.

For a moment, the two of you sat in silence, lost in memories of happier times.

Dean hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hope or forgiveness. "Are you willing to give me another chance?", he asked quietly. "All I want is to make things right, to hold you in my arms and ease your pain. I want to heal what I destroyed, to show you that I'm not the same person I was back then".

You felt a tug at your heartstrings as you looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and regret reflected in their depths. Part of you wanted to believe him. But another part of you was still wary, still hesitant to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt again.

"I don't know, Dean", you admitted. "I want to believe that you're capable of being the man I once loved. But… I'm scared. Scared of getting hurt again".

Dean's heart sank at your words. "I understand", he said softly, his voice tinged with sadness. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, to show you that I'm worthy of a second chance. Just… please don't give up on me".

As you sat there, grappling with the tumultuous emotions swirling inside you, memories of your past with Dean flooded your mind. You couldn't deny the depth of your love for him, even now, despite the pain and betrayal you had endured.

You remembered the way he used to make you laugh, the warmth of his embrace, and the way his touch could make your heart race with excitement. Despite everything that had happened, a part of you still longed for those moments of intimacy and connection that you had once shared with him.

But alongside the memories of love and happiness, there was also the lingering shadow of pain. You couldn't forget the agony of that fateful night, the way Dean had shattered your trust and left you broken and bruised.

Yet, as you looked into his eyes now, you saw the same love and longing reflected back at you.

Dean's voice trembled with emotion as he opened up to you, his words raw and filled with longing. "I've missed you so much", he mumbled. "I miss the way you used to sleep on my chest, your soft breathing. I miss the sound of your laughter, the way it could light up a room and make all the darkness disappear".

He reached out tentatively, as if afraid you might pull away, and gently brushed a strand of hair from your face. "Without you, I'm lost".

You felt a tug at your heartstrings as you listened to his words, seeing the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. Despite everything that had happened between you, you couldn't deny the depth of his love for you, or the longing in his voice as he spoke of wanting to make things right.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you locked eyes with Dean, his gaze searching yours with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. A whirlwind of emotions churned inside you—fear, longing, uncertainty—each vying for dominance as you grappled with the decision before you.

Part of you wanted to pull away, to retreat into the safety of your own walls and protect yourself from the possibility of being hurt again. But another part of you, a part that still held onto the memories of love and happiness you had shared with Dean, yearned for connection, for healing, for the chance to rebuild what had been broken between you.

And so, with trembling hands and a heart that threatened to burst from your chest, you leaned in slowly, ever so slowly, towards Dean. Each inch felt like an eternity, the weight of your decision heavy on your shoulders as you closed the distance between you.

As your lips met his in a tentative kiss, a surge of emotion washed over you, overwhelming in its intensity. It was a moment of vulnerability, of raw honesty, as you allowed yourself to let go of the pain and hurt that had consumed you for so long.

You cupped Dean's face in your hands, feeling the rough stubble beneath your fingertips as you leaned into the kiss, savoring the warmth of his lips against yours.

Dean hesitated for a moment, unsure where to place his hands, afraid of scaring you away with too much intimacy. His heart clenched at the touch of your lips, a familiar ache settling in his chest as he finally felt the softness of your kiss again after so long.

Despite the pain that lingered in your heart, there was a sense of comfort in Dean's embrace, a familiarity that whispered of happier times gone by. For a moment, the world fell away as you lost yourself in the sweetness of the moment, each kiss a silent promise of hope and redemption.

But beneath the surface, there was still a lingering sense of uncertainty, a fear of the unknown that threatened to overshadow the fragile connection you were trying to rebuild. And yet, as you pulled away from the kiss, a glimmer of hope flickered in your heart.

With a shaky, uncertain voice, you whispered the words that had been lingering on the tip of your tongue, the silent plea of your heart reaching out to him. "Hold me", you said, your voice barely above a whisper, the words trembling with the weight of your uncertainty.

Dean's heart skipped a beat at your request, his chest tightening with a mixture of hope and fear. Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled you into his arms, holding you close against his chest as though afraid you might slip away if he let go.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of his skin as tears welled in your eyes.

Dean's hands trembled as he gingerly brushed over your back, his touch tentative yet filled with a quiet tenderness. With each gentle stroke, he tried to convey the depth of his remorse, the ache in his heart mirrored in the way his fingers traced soothing patterns against your trembling form.

You clung to him tightly, your tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt as you let out the pain and anguish. Your body shook with the force of your sobs, the emotional turmoil threatening to consume you entirely.

With a tenderness born of regret and longing, Dean pulled you closer to him, his lips hovering over your forehead as he held you in his embrace. His touch was gentle, his fingers tracing soothing circles along your back as you continued to sob against his chest.

Tears welled in Dean's eyes as he looked down at you, his heart heavy with the weight of his past mistakes and the knowledge of the pain he had caused you.

"I love you", he whispered softly, his voice filled with emotion. "More than anything in this world. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, for the pain I've caused. But please know that my love for you has never faltered, not for a single moment".

As you looked up at him, your tear-stained cheeks and trembling lips betraying the turmoil within you, Dean's thumb gently brushed away your tears with a tenderness that spoke volumes. His eyes searched yours, silently asking for permission, for reassurance that this fragile moment of connection wouldn't shatter beneath the weight of your shared past.

With a trembling breath, you leaned into his touch, your heart pounding in your chest as his lips met yours once more. The kiss was featherlight, tentative yet filled with an undeniable longing—a silent plea for forgiveness, for understanding, for a chance to start anew.

As the kiss deepened, the world around you faded into oblivion, leaving only the two of you entwined in a moment of raw emotion and longing. With a newfound sense of courage, you straddled Dean's legs, your hands finding their way to his cheeks as you deepened the kiss, your lips moving with a desperate urgency born of years of pent-up emotion and longing.

Dean's hands remained at his sides, a silent testament to his fear of causing you further pain or discomfort. He was surprised by your boldness, by the intensity of your kiss, but he dared not move, afraid that any sudden gesture might startle you and send you fleeing from his arms once more.

Instead, he surrendered to the moment, allowing himself to be consumed by the warmth of your lips, the softness of your touch.

As the kiss intensified, your tongue seeking entrance to his mouth, you felt a surge of desire coursing through your veins. Your hands roamed over Dean's broad shoulders, urging him to reciprocate, to touch you in return. Yet, he remained still, his hands trembling slightly at his sides as if unsure of what to do.

But then, as you pressed closer, seeking the warmth and comfort of his embrace, you felt it—a hardness pressing against you, eliciting a gasp of surprise from your lips. Dean's erection, unmistakable beneath the thin fabric of your pajamas, sent a jolt of electricity coursing through your body, freezing you in place.

For a moment, you were paralyzed, unsure of how to proceed. The realization of what was happening between you, of the undeniable attraction and desire that pulsed between your bodies, sent your mind reeling. Could this be happening? Could Dean still desire you, after everything that had transpired between you?

But before you could gather your thoughts, Dean's voice broke through.

"I… I'm sorry", Dean murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he struggled to find the right words. "I didn't mean to… I just…".

His voice trailed off, his gaze dropping to the floor as if unable to meet your eyes. You could see the conflict etched on his face, the turmoil raging within him as he grappled with his own desires and fears.

"It's okay", you whispered, your voice trembling slightly as you reached out to cup his cheek, gently guiding his gaze back to yours.

But even as you spoke the words, uncertainty gnawed at the edges of your mind. Could you truly forgive Dean for what he had done? Could you trust him again, after the pain and betrayal he had inflicted upon you?

As you took Dean's hands in yours, feeling the tremble of your own shaking fingers, you guided them slowly and cautiously to your hips. The simple act of touch sent a jolt of electricity through both of you, causing Dean's heart to race and his body to react with a twitch of arousal.

But despite the undeniable chemistry between you, Dean remained hesitant, his eyes searching yours for any sign of uncertainty or discomfort. He wanted to be sure, absolutely sure, that you were okay with this, that you were ready to take this step together.

For a moment, the air between you crackled with tension, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the space between your bodies. But then, as you met his gaze with unwavering determination, Dean felt a surge of courage welling up inside him.

With a shaky breath, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours in a tentative kiss. It was soft, gentle, a silent promise of all the things left unsaid between you.

Dean's voice trembled as he spoke, his words laced with both desire and restraint. "Do you… Do you want to go to our bedroom?", he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation or reluctance.

You felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you at his words, a mixture of longing and apprehension swirling in your chest. The idea of being alone with Dean in the intimacy of your shared bedroom filled you with both excitement and trepidation, a reminder of the love and passion that had once defined your relationship.

But as you looked into Dean's eyes, seeing the vulnerability, you knew that this was a chance for healing, for closure, for the two of you to finally confront the demons of your past and forge a path forward together.

With a nod, you reached out to take his hand in yours, squeezing it gently as you rose to your feet. "Yes", you whispered.

Dean walked slowly, his footsteps deliberate and measured, as if he were afraid to rush or startle you. His hand, warm and comforting, brushed against yours in a gentle caress, a silent reassurance of his presence by your side.

As you followed behind him, the hallway stretched out before you like an endless expanse, each step echoing the rhythm of your racing heart. And as Dean finally reached the door to your bedroom, he turned to look at you, his eyes soft with emotion. Without a word, he reached out and gently pushed the door open, inviting you into the sanctuary of your shared space.

With a shaky breath, you stepped across the threshold, the weight of the past hanging heavy in the air around you. But as Dean closed the door behind you, shutting out the outside world, you felt a sense of peace settle over you.

Dean hesitated for a moment. "Is it okay if I… if I pick you up?", he asked softly.

You nodded slowly, your own voice barely above a whisper as you replied, "Yes, that's okay".

With a gentle smile, Dean reached out and scooped you up in his arms, his touch surprisingly tender as he cradled you against his chest. Despite the years that had passed, the memory of his strength and warmth flooded back to you, comforting and familiar.

As he carried you across the room, his movements slow and deliberate, you felt a sense of trust and safety wash over you, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that still existed between you.

And as he carefully lowered you onto the bed, his touch was feather-light against your skin.

As Dean hovered halfway over you, he hesitated, his voice trembling with nerves as he asked, "Would… would it be better if you were on top?".

You noticed the veins on his throat and arms standing out, evidence of the effort he was exerting to hold back for you. "It's alright", he mumbled. "If you want to be on top, it's fine".

His eyes searched yours for a moment, before you nodded slowly and before Dean lowered himself down beside you, his body trembling with anticipation and desire.

Dean´s fingers trembling slightly as he began to undo the buttons of your pajama shirt.

With a gentle touch, he lowered his mouth to your neck, trailing soft kisses along your skin as his hand slipped beneath the fabric of your shirt, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"Are you okay?", he asked softly, his voice laced with concern as he brushed the shirt off your shoulders, revealing your naked breasts to him.

You met his gaze with a mixture of emotions swirling in your eyes—vulnerability, longing, and a hint of fear. But despite the tumultuous storm raging within you, you nodded slowly, offering him a small, reassuring smile. "I'm okay", you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper as you reached out to cup his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips.

With a gentle touch, Dean leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss, his hands trailing down your body as he continued to undress you, his touch both reverent and filled with longing.

As you straddled his la, got rid of his shirt and pulled Dean closer, your body pressed against his, you feel the warmth of his skin against yours, sending shivers down your spine. Your nipples graze against his now naked chest, eliciting a soft moan from both of you. Dean's arousal, evident and undeniable, presses eagerly against you.

Dean's hand ventured beneath your pajama pants, his touch sending tingles of anticipation through your body. As his fingers brushed against your skin, he realized you weren't wearing underwear, and a soft gasp escaped his lips. His hand hovered tantalizingly close to your pussy, his breath coming in shallow, ragged bursts.

"Can I touch you there?", he asked quietly.

Dean's heart skipped a beat as he watched you nod slowly, your breath heavy and your heart racing in sync with his own. The anticipation hung thick in the air, a palpable tension that seemed to crackle with electricity. With a nervous bite of your lip, you gave him the permission he sought, sending a surge of desire coursing through his veins.

His hand trembled slightly as it moved lower, tracing the contours of your soft folds. You let out a soft moan of pleasure, your body arching instinctively towards his touch.

Dean's touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. With each gentle stroke, he teased and tantalized, his fingers dancing over your most intimate parts with a skill that left you breathless. Your head spun with desire as he explored every inch of you, driving you to the brink of ecstasy with each passing moment.

As the heat between you grew, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you locked in a passionate embrace. In that moment, there was nothing else that mattered—no past, no future, only the raw, primal desire that burned between you.

As Dean felt the warmth and wetness between your thighs, he knew you were ready. With slow, deliberate movements, he began to ease down your pajama pants, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched for any sign of discomfort or hesitation.

"You okay?", he murmured softly, his voice laced with concern as he continued to undress you.

You nodded eagerly, your breath coming in short, ragged bursts as you struggled to contain your desire. "Yes, Dean", you whispered. "I want this".

With a final tug, your pants were discarded, leaving you completely exposed before him. And as Dean rid himself of his own sweatpants and boxers, you couldn't help but marvel at the sight of him—powerful and virile, his desire evident in every line and curve of his body.

Your breath hitched as you caught sight of Dean's erection, fear and uncertainty flashing in your eyes as he hovered above you. Sensing your hesitation, Dean froze, his own desire momentarily forgotten as he looked down at you with concern.

"Are you okay?", he asked softly, his voice filled with tenderness as he searched your eyes for any sign of discomfort or unease.

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to find your voice. "I'm just… I'm scared", you admitted.

Dean's expression softened, a look of understanding and compassion flickering in his eyes. "I won't hurt you, I promise", he whispered. "I'll go as slow as you need me to".

Feeling reassured by his words, you let out a shaky breath, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Thank you", you murmured, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

As Dean continued to kiss you, his lips soft and gentle against yours, you couldn't help but feel a sense of tension and apprehension creeping into your body. Despite his best efforts to reassure you, you remained nervous and tense, unable to fully let go of the fear that still lingered within you.

Sensing your unease, Dean pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours again. When he saw the hurt reflected in your gaze, his heart clenched.

"What can I do to help you relax?", he asked softly, his voice filled with genuine concern. "I want to make this special for you, to show you how much I care. Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it".

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to express the turmoil raging within you. But then, with a shaky breath, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need… I need you to be patient with me", you admitted, your words tinged with vulnerability. "I need you to understand that I'm still scared. And I need you to hold me, to reassure me that everything will be okay".

Without a word, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest in a tight embrace. And as you melted into his arms, you felt a sense of comfort and safety wash over you, the tension slowly beginning to ebb away in the warmth of his embrace.

"I'll be gentle, I promise", he murmured, his voice soothing and tender. "We'll go slow, at your pace. Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?".

You nodded, a sense of trust and gratitude washing over you as you buried your face in his chest. "Okay", you whispered.

With a gentle sigh, Dean leaned down and captured your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. His touch was soft and tentative, his lips moving against yours with a tender reverence that made your heart flutter.

As the kiss deepened, you felt his erection pressing against your wet folds, the sensation sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. Despite your lingering apprehension, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry between you, the desire that burned hot and fierce between your bodies.

With a soft moan, you pressed yourself against him, your hips rocking instinctively against his, seeking the delicious friction that would ease the ache deep within you.

Dean’s breath was heavy with anticipation as he looked down at you, his eyes burning with desire and longing. “Can I…?”, he began, nodding towards his between the two of you. His hand moved to his shaft, as if to emphasize his need.

Your heart raced at the thought of finally feeling him inside you again, of surrendering yourself to the passion and intensity of your shared desire. But a flicker of uncertainty danced in your eyes, a lingering reminder of the pain and heartache that had once torn you apart.

“I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with”, he assured you. “I just want to make you feel good, to show you how much I love you”.

With a shaky nod, you reached out and took his hand in yours, guiding him towards you. As his lips met yours in a passionate kiss, you felt the heat and urgency of his desire washing over you, igniting a fire deep within your core.

As Dean pressed slowly inside you, his movements careful and measured as he sought to ease your discomfort. But as he felt you wince beneath him, he immediately stopped, concern flashing in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”, he asked softly, his voice filled with worry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you met Dean’s gaze. “It’s okay”, you assured him, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. “I just… I need a moment”.

Dean nodded understandingly, his heart aching at the sight of your discomfort. “I’ll stop”, he whispered, his voice filled with regret. “I should have been more patient with you, especially after… after everything”.

You reached out and placed a hand on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palm. “You’ve always been patient with me”, you murmured, your voice filled with gratitude and love. “Even before that awful night”.

Dean’s eyes softened at your words. “I just want to make things right”, he whispered.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. "I want you to go on", you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I want to replace those memories of that terrible night with something beautiful, something loving".

Dean's eyes widened in surprise, his heart swelling. "Are you sure?".

You nodded, your gaze never wavering as you met his eyes with unwavering determination. "I'm sure", you whispered. "I want this, Dean. I want us".

As Dean slowly pushed himself inside you, the sensation of being filled with him once again sent shivers down your spine. You moaned softly and breathlessly, your body instinctively responding to his touch. But just as Dean buried himself completely within you, the memories of that terrible night crashed over him like a tidal wave.

His movements faltered, his breath catching in his throat as he felt the weight of his past mistakes bearing down on him. Closing his eyes tightly, he tried to push the memories aside, to focus on the here and now, on the love and desire that flowed between you. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape the haunting images that lingered in the depths of his mind.

Feeling himself going soft again inside you, Dean’s heart clenched with frustration and self-loathing. He wanted nothing more than to give you pleasure, to show you how much he loved you, but the ghosts of his past refused to release their grip on him.

With a heavy sigh, Dean pulled away from you. “I’m sorry”, he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I just… I can’t do this right now”. His gaze full of shame, as he got up from the bed and started to get dressed.

As you pulled up the blanket, your heart sank at the sight of Dean's retreating figure. Anxiety gnawed at your insides as you watched him hastily get dressed, his movements tense and hurried. A thousand thoughts raced through your mind, each one more tumultuous than the last.

Was it something you did? Something you said? Was your hesitation the reason he couldn't stay hard? The weight of your own self-doubt threatened to suffocate you as you struggled to make sense of the situation.

Dean couldn't even look at you right now, so consumed was he by his own guilt and remorse.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you watched him hastily getting dressed, his actions leaving you feeling confused and hurt. The weight of your own self-doubt pressed down on you like a heavy burden as you struggled to make sense of what had just happened.

“Did I do something wrong?”, you asked, your voice trembling with emotion as you fought to keep the tears at bay. “Was it because of me?”.

Dean paused, his hand hovering over his belt as he turned to face you. For a moment, it looked like he wanted to say something, to reassure you that it wasn’t your fault. But before he could utter a word, the door swung open, and Sam burst into the room, his eyes widening in surprise at the sight before him.

Misinterpreting the situation, Sam’s eyes darted between you and Dean, confusion evident on his face. “What’s going on?”, he asked, his voice tinged with concern as he took in the scene before him.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

Part 4

Taglist: @mayafatimakhan

#jensen ackles #deanwinchtser #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester #sam and dean #supernatural #spn #hurt/comfort #hurtful #violent love #love

133 notes · View notes

destieltropecollection · 1 month

Text

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 4: Hurt/Comfort

,,Hello, Dean." | @tami-ryver Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,162 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel teaches Dean Enochian, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Pining Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester Summary: Cas teaches Dean Enochian and they both might get something more out of it.

Falling Inside The Black | @tami-ryver Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,715 Main Tags/Warnings: Demon Dean Winchester, Season/Series 10, Alternate Season/Series 10, Pining Dean Winchester, Pining Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Cocky Dean Winchester, Castiel is So Done with Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), 5+1 Things, Pining, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort Summary: 5 times Dean hates being a demon and 1 time he takes advantage of it.

Warm Embrace | @tami-ryver Rating: Mature Word Count: 2,957 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Kidnapped Dean Winchester, British Men of Letters (Supernatural) Being Assholes, Hunter Dean Winchester, Creature Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Escape, Coils, Hugs, First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Angst, Scared Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gorgon Castiel, Medusa Castiel, Summary: Dean freezes. He is unarmed, Cas doesn't know how to use the gun and their only escape route is the door to Cas' right. Dean doesn't know what to do, he is paralysed with fear. He is going to die here.

Non Solum | @thisisapaige Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16,061 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Witch Castiel, Hunter Dean Winchester, Strangers to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Castiel lives a quiet life, a solitary life, a lonely life. He cannot risk anyone finding out he is a witch, lest any hunters seek out his isolated cabin in the frozen Northern Wastes. Interacting only with those who require his healing services, Castiel constructs an existence that ensures he will be alone. Alone, that is, until a bloodied, dying man crawls up to his front door and threatens to tear down everything Castiel has built.

The River | @davidfosterwallaceandgromit Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,763 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Purgatory, Alternate Season/Series 15, Character Study, Angst, Season/Series 15, Divorce Arc Summary: Cas has seen Dean in every state from abject misery to desperate determination, but his essential nature has never changed. This, this fight against Chuck, it’s different. Ever since the cemetery, Dean is acting differently. Rewrite of 15x09 "The Trap," dealing more directly with Dean's control issues and Jack's death.

Love Me Anyway | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 22,027 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern setting, CEO!Dean, secretary!Castiel, bodyguard!Castiel, friends to lovers, trauma, panic attack, coming out, character development, pining, falling in love, bi!Castiel, emotional hurt/comfort, PTSD, kidnapping. Summary: For five years Castiel Novak was CEO Dean Winchester's perfect bodyguard and assistant. Novak, the only man the powerful leader trusts. But one day, Castiel Novak quits his job all of the sudden because he wants to marry his girlfriend and have a normal life, leaving Dean speechless. Dean realizes he knows nothing about the best employee he had. As his world turns unexpectedly upside down, the famous CEO decides become Novak's friend to keep him close again. But try to become a "good selfless friend" is something new for Dean... and even more when he discovers through that path he may have feelings for Castiel.

Monster Crush | @thefandomsinhalor Rating: Mature Word Count: 22,441 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Episode: S07E01, Creature Castiel, Angel Castiel, Summer, Vacation Spot, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Castiel, Hurt Dean Summary: With Godstiel’s reign finally over and all the souls back in purgatory, Dean is aggravated (but not surprised) to learn that yet another problem has surfaced: Castiel, after recovering from the ritual, appears to be growing monster parts. As in, one second he has vampire fangs, and the next he has tattooed djinn arms. And then there are the tentacles. Castiel believes it will wear off. Dean has trust issues. Still hurt by his betrayal, Dean nonetheless decides that he and his mega-monster-shifter angel should lay-low somewhere isolated until they know more. Which makes it very complicated for Dean to keep giving him the cold shoulder.

Graceland | @deliciousblizzardshark Rating: Explicit Word Count: 24,554 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural),Trans Castiel (Supernatural),Trans Male Character, Road Trips, Getting Together, canon-typical child abuse, Religious Cults, mentions of transphobia, Found Family, Sam Winchester is Dead, Suicidal Thoughts Summary: Sammy died on a Wednesday morning, only a few miles away from where Dean was sleeping off a hangover, sprawled across his bed in a pair of worn boxers as if the world couldn’t hold any more trouble for him. -- Sammy's dead and Dean, who'd devoted his whole life to taking care of his younger brother doesn't know what else to do but to pack up the Impala and take to the road. It's only when he picks up Castiel, an escapee from a religious cult with ghosts of his own, that he begins to learn how to escape his grief and to believe there might be a place where he belongs.

His Angelic Wings Aren't | @Abletownshipnumber5 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 36,249 Main Tags/Warnings: Angel wings, post-season/post finale, Castiel's angelic grace, hurt/comfort, time travel, slow burn, canon-typical violence, kidnapped Dean Winchester, Traumatized Dean Winchester, Swearing, homophobic language, mildly dubious consent Summary: After Dean arrives in Heaven, he discovers Cas has been freed from the Empty by Jack. Jack transforms Dean into an angel so he can serve in Cas' newly formed garrison. However, their reunion did not go as Dean had hoped. Also, Jack brought back angels previously sent to the Empty by Team Free Will and some aren't happy with Dean.

#destiel trope collection #destiel trope collection 2024 #destiel #supernatural #fanfic #hurt/comfort

89 notes · View notes

scoobydoodean · 9 months

Note

ppl get mad when dean’s “love” is “conditional”

but don’t blink when others erect “healthy boundaries” and “respectful expectations”

do you think dean is expected to be this idea of perfect, unconditional love in ways other characters are not?

thx

Hey anon sorry it took me a while to circle back to this! I was trying to find a related post for you but I never found it. :(

I don't know if most people expect Dean to be perfect, but I do believe that without realizing it, a lot of people hold Dean to very unreasonable standards and don't believe he deserves boundaries of any kind—including regarding his own feelings. For example,

Dean is often demonized for not trusting people immediately after they have broken his trust (ex: 4.21, 5.02, 5.05, 6.20) in a way fandom would never demonize Sam or Cas for not trusting Dean after Dean lied to them.

Dean is often criticized for not "opening up" to Sam. Not only is Dean under zero obligation to use Sam as a confidant, but the expectation always seems to be that Dean become "ready" to talk on Sam's timeline, and anything outside of what Sam considers to be an acceptable timeline is criticized by Sam and fandom from some cringe pop psychology perspective on emotional health (2.02, 4.09, 13.04). Sam, on the other hand, is never treated as if he is obligated to open up to Dean, and the countless times he says he doesn't want to talk are immediately dismissed as normal and his boundaries are treated with respect.

Dean was criticized by fandom immediately in season 13 for not parenting Jack correctly and not "being there" for Sam. Dean was very clear that he didn't want to be Jack's mother. Dean was under zero moral obligation, at any point, to adopt Jack and treat him as a son. However, portions of fandom consistently—from 13.01—insisted on judging Dean based on a poor "parenting" performance to someone who was not his kid, and who he explicitly stated he did not want parent. Many fans did and still do criticize Dean for not immediately setting aside his grief over Mary, Cas, and Crowley and joyfully accepting a parenting role over someone he had every reason to believe brainwashed his best friend which lead to his demise. (I say all of this separately from how Dean treated Jack as a house guest).

Dean is expected to forgive Sam and Cas on their timelines (season 5, season 15) but if they are angry at Dean, any length of time they might choose to hold things against him—including indefinitely—is justified and often applauded. In fact, you would often find—especially with Sam—fans over and over cheering Sam on for "standing up for himself finally" as if every time of the dozens of times he did that, it was the first time.

Dean is very popularly demonized for not forgiving Jack for murdering his mother. Jack can kill Mary because he was "scared" or "mad" and that's fine but Dean having a single feeling about it is out of line to this fandom. (As an aside—no—I don't think soulless Jack killing Mary was an accident based on how soulless!Jack described it... but either way it doesn't matter when it comes to how Dean is allowed to feel about it.) Mere hours after the incident occurs, Dean is expected to be flowering Jack with love and forgiveness, and the fact that he didn't makes Dean a monster.

Dean is demonized for putting Jack in the mal'ak box and when the episode aired (and again—continuing to this day within the fandom) it was framed by and large as if Dean was the sole perpetrator of that act, while Sam's role was brushed under the rug or fans straight up insisted Dean somehow "forced" Sam to go along with him (despite Sam very clearly being fucking terrified of Jack). Cas, a single episode later, enquiring about putting Jack in The Cage is also completely dismissed. Nobody gives a single fuck.

Dean saying (he thinks privately to Sam) he doesn't consider Jack family after what happened with Mary. I'll make myself abundantly clear: Dean has every right to feel this way. And let's be real—if Sam said he didn't see Jack as family, almost nobody would give a fuck... which goes for everything on this list?

Which brings me to the why of this ask.

Part of the reason Dean is held to different standards is down to some of fandom's desperate need to perpetuate Dean's childhood parentification by holding him responsible for everyone in his life. Because Dean is Mr. Parentified Child, he MUST accept Jack as his child because that's who Dean is—a defacto parent to everyone in his life, destined to be treated like the universe's mommy and then judged for doing a bad job at a task he does not have the power or authority to handle as if he did have that power and authority... and if he complains he's a selfish, cruel, evil monster.

Another reason is Dean's overarching role in the story, as the narrative heart and the hearth of the house. You cannot miss, in SPN, how central Dean is to the concept of belonging somewhere—of having a home—of being loved. I've said before that Dean's love is practically regarded as a human right in Supernatural. Dean really represents the idea of being loved at all—the intrinsic human need to be loved and accepted by others.

Sam or Cas could say they don't love someone, and it would just be taken as a personal opinion with no greater weight or significance. If Dean says he doesn't love someone, that carries a very special meaning to the fans and has a very special impact on the character who hears it. And while it may hurt another character to hear that from Dean... it also is not fair, in any sense of the word, to treat Dean's love as something everyone is entitled to—to deny his personhood and autono-[gunshots]—to act as if he is obligated to force himself to love everyone—as if that wasn't deeply unfair and also literally impossible.

One of the reasons Jack instantly attaches to Dean like a baby duck in season 13 despite Dean's cold, grief-stricken exterior while Sam is standing right there being "supportive" (besides Sam's poorly-concealed ulterior motives) is that Jack implicitly understands that Dean, whether he wants to be or not, is the Winchester family house. In order to ever feel like you belong in that house—like you are in that family—Dean has to love you. Fans also understand this whether they know they do or not. They know it doesn't matter if Sam says "You're family". If Dean doesn't say it—if Dean doesn't feel it—it will never feel real. Because of this, fans feel an entitlement for Dean to bestow instant love and forgiveness on their faves in a way they would never ask that of Sam or Cas... and they also perceive Dean as aware of his unique role and often perceive him as using it to control others or make the family a dictatorship... when Dean is literally just being a normal human being with boundaries and feelings, who did not choose to be perceived in this way, and whose feelings do not simply stop existing just because of this unfair perception of him and how everyone else is tying their self-esteem to him in ways Dean has zero control over... and their needs do not trump Dean's right to boundaries and feelings as just a guy—as just a human being!

#dean the narrative heart #the hearth of the house #the very touch of you corrupts #mail #dont feed the stans after midnight #parentification

317 notes · View notes

acewritesfics · 3 months

Text

Crossroads Deal | Dean Winchester

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Hunter Fem!Reader

Request: No. From my Wattpad account.

Synopsis: Dean reminisces about the woman he loved and lost.

Warnings: Death, demons, crossroads deal, burning a body. Pure angst. I love angst. Italics are flashbacks. E/C - eye colour.

Word Count: 2,850

Main Masterlist

As Dean looks at the body lying a few feet away from him covered in a hotel bedsheet that is stained in her blood, he thinks back to the day he met Y/N, the person who changed everything for him.

"Who are you?" Y/N growls at the two intruders while pointing her gun at them with the safety off and her finger ready to press the trigger if necessary.

The taller one responds, hands up in surrender and a hint of fear in his eyes, "Bobby called us and told us that you need some help."

"That doesn't answer my question!" She growls once more, this time visibly more agitated than before. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sam. This is my brother Dean. " The tall one speaks again, introducing them, while the shorter one remains silent.

"Winchester?" She asks, lowering her gun slightly and scanning each of the men while keeping her eyes narrowed and her guard up. The best hunters were always on high alert and didn't trust anyone unless they had proven to be trustworthy. It was a risky move if you weren't cautious of everyone you came across.

"Yeah," Dean says, dropping his arms as she appears to relax a little.

"Bobby sent you?" she asks making sure,

Both of the men nod their heads.

"Would you please lower that completely? I don't feel like being shot by some girl today," Dean sneers, annoyed.

Lowering her gun, she puts the safety back on and places it back on the table, glaring at him. She resumes what she had been doing before she was rudely interrupted by them while showing and explaining to them all the evidence and theories she's already come up with..

Dean looked and listened to her attentively. As she recounted everything and displayed all the evidence she had gathered, he observed her rigidity in posture, her icy tone of voice, and lack of eye contact. Although he understood that she didn't know them and that he never expected her to welcome them with open arms, this seemed different. Her being standoffish seemed to go a bit farther than workplace professionalism.

It didn't help that this case seems to be a particularly difficult one, with a werewolf and a vampire collaborating to create some kind of hybrid. Being the seasoned hunters that they are, Y/N and the Winchesters believed they had seen everything before this case. Vampires and werewolves were known enemies in every lore book ever written. It didn't make sense to them that they would suddenly start working together.

Of course, there was a lot of arguing between her and the oldest Winchester, someone being used as bait, and their scheme going sideways, which was nothing new for the Winchester brothers. The three hunters barely made it out alive after suffering various injuries.

Y/N was grateful for the help Bobby and the Winchester's provided no matter how hurt she got, knowing that if she continued to pursue the case alone, she'd be in hell much sooner than intended. Crossroads would be overjoyed by that.

After they returned to the hotel room, Dean, who had the least injuries, bandaged himself before assisting Sam and Y/N. He was wrapping Y/N's lower arm when he notices she has a distant look in her eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks her, making sure the bandage wasn't too tight or loose.

"Just contemplating the fact that there are already enough monsters in the world and that we don't need any more. However, here we are, with monsters creating new monsters," She exhales. "How crazy is that?"

Dean finishes applying the bandage and remarks, "If this job has taught me anything, it's that there's far more out there than we realize."

"And that something will always surprise us even if we know to always prepare for the unexpected," she adds .

"Exactly," he says, agreeing with her. "Are you sure you're going to be okay on your own?"

"I gotten this far, haven't I?" She smiles at his sincere concern for her. Her ice-cold attitude toward them has somewhat thawed over the course of the five days they've worked together. She was able to say that she trusted the brothers to have her back, and she's proven to them that they could rely on her to have their backs as well.

"I now have your phone numbers, so if I need to, I'll contact you after I call Bobby."

He rolls his eyes, "So pleased to hear that I'm second on your list of people to call."

With a tiny smile lingering on her lips, she says, "Actually you're third."

He puts his hand over his heart while seeming to stare at her pretending to be offended. "You hurt me. Really, you'd call Sam before me?"

"He argues less," She chuckles.

"You wait till you're always around him," he says as he cleans up the leftover medical supplies. "But honestly, you'll call us if you need us, right?"

Y/N nods in agreement knowing that it's what he wants to hear. "It would be best if you never saw me again. I don't want you to become attached to me."

Dean first believed she was joking, but he was mistaken since exactly that is what happened. He became attached to her, falling in love with her hard and fast. Within a month of their initial encounter, they ran into one other twice more before agreeing to stick together. But it wasn't just Dean who got attached to the former solo hunter. Like his older brother, Sam had also fallen in love with her, but in a very different way. Y/N was the sister the younger Winchester never had. They bickered like siblings, got along like siblings, mocked one another, and stood up for one another exactly like brother and sister. When they discovered her big secret, both brothers struggled with it. Dean, of course, took it the hardest.

While working on the demon case they're currently working on, Bobby unintentionally revealed that her time was running out far too quickly for his liking.

In disbelief, Sam exited the room with Bobby, leaving Dean and Y/N to talk. Although Y/N's revelation had upset him, he was aware that Dean was hurting more. Sam had witnessed first hand how quickly Dean and Y/N had fallen in love with each other.

"Were you ever going to tell us?" Dean asks, leaning against the kitchen wall as she sits at Bobby's kitchen table. He's upset and angry. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

She nods despite knowing that nothing she says would help her. "Of course I was. I didn't know how."

To her, Sam was like a younger brother. Being an only child raised by a single mother, she never had siblings. She enjoys how it feels to have a younger brother.

But Dean is different. So, so, so very different. They constantly draw each other in. Neither of them felt the same way about anybody else. And despite her best efforts to stay away from him, she constantly found herself near him, whether they were sharing a drink at a bar, comforting each other after a nightmare, preparing for the next hunt, or helping him with Baby.

"'I made a deal with a demon and I have less than a year to live' would be a pretty good start," he glares at her, the anger and despair visible in his voice and green eyes. "What did you think will happen? That you'll be gone in 6 months and we'll… I'll forget about you? That's not going to happen!"

She repeats what she said when they first met, "I told you not to get attached."

"It's too late for that," he confesses. "I'm attached, Sweetheart."

It's silent for a few minutes as they both try to gather their thoughts while suppressing their tears and emotions.

"I'm going to get you out of this." Dean says as he breaks the heavy silence that had fallen over them. "We'll figure it out. It's what we do. If not, we'll figure out a way to pull you back out."

He walks up to the books that are scattered on the table and looks through them as though he's looking for information. But all he says is blurred lines and fuzzy pictures, his eyes unable to focus as the flood with tears.

Dean," she calls out in an effort to grab his attention as she stands up and approaches him. "Hey," she says as she removes the book he's clutching from his grasp and lays it back on the table. "There is no coming back from this, Dean. I am beyond redemption. The contract is unbreakable. They will not let me go, not for anyone."

"You're not even willing to try?" He asks, feeling defeated, though he is not about to give up as quickly as she is.

"All I want to do is make the most of the time I have left. Hunters do not have a lengthy life span. It's rare, and you know it," She informs him, a slight frown on her face.

"I'm not going to let you die," he says firmly, the defeat he was feeling replaced by determination.

"You have to," she replies regretfully. The day she met Dean Winchester was the day she knew she made a mistake making that deal.

Before anything further is spoken, he exits the room saying, "No, I don't."

After that, a lot of things changed between them. It had become tense, Dean and Y/N were distancing themselves from each other, they were both more short-tempered than usual and snapped at each other as if they were a couple going through a bad divorce . Before she met Dean, Y/N had accepted her fate, but the brothers and Bobby wouldn't listen to her, and they did everything in their power to free her from the terms of her crossroads deal. Dean went as far as summoning the demon at a crossroads.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Behind Dean, who is glaring at the demon in front of him, Y/N's angry voice can be heard.

Dean shouts back, "Unlike you, I'm trying to save your ass."

"Dean, listen to her; nothing can be done. Your little girlfriend will spend all of eternity in hell," The crossroads demon says taunting the hunter as she grins at him triumphantly.

"That's crap!," he yells, his gaze fixed on the demon as the crunch of gravel under Y/N's footsteps gets louder as she approaches them.

The demon quips, "Really, it's ironic. You finally meet the woman you would give it all up for and she-"

"Stop talking!" He growls at her, stopping whatever tirade she was about to deliver.

"You two could have had a beautiful future together. Marriage, normal jobs, a beautiful home with mini Winchesters roaming around the backyard oblivious to this life that you once lived," the demon continues to taunt the couple. "If only you had met her before she made the deal."

"Would you shut up?" Y/N yells at the demon this time. She turns to face Dean with a guilty look on her face as opposed to his eyes, which were full with rage and determination. "We have to leave."

"We're not leaving until she destroy's your contract," he frowns at her.

"Even if I really wanted to, I can't do it." The devil says, drawing both of their gazes to her. "Lucifer's orders."

"You can't save everyone, Dean, and that includes me." Y/N says, forcing him to look at her again.

"Why are you giving up so easily?"

"Believe me, I'm not. Bobby and I have both tried, as have you and Sam. I'm not getting out of this." She says as tears begin to form in her eyes.

"She's right," The demon agrees. "Just tell her you love her, and make the last four months of her life unforgettable. She'll need something to cling to while she's down there."

Before storming back to the impala, Dean glares first at Y/N, then at the demon, and then back at Y/N.

Y/N goes to chase after him, only to be stopped as the demon begins speaking again. "In your contract, I can make one adjustment. I used to be human, and I was in a situation extremely similar to yours right now. When the hounds come for you, once you're gone since there's no stopping them, I'll allow your soul five minutes to say your final goodbyes before personally dragging you back to hell myself."

Dean is scowling as she looks in his direction. He can hear everything that is being said.

"Why the sudden bleeding heart?" She inquires returning her attention to the demon.

"Like I said, I was once human," With that, the crossroads demon vanishes.

Y/N approaches Dean and, without wasting any time, pulls him into a kiss, reminding him of her love for him.

They didn't go back to Bobby's house that night, where Sam and Bobby were waiting for them. Instead, they traveled to a secluded meadow where she often went to spend some time alone when she was a teenager. They spent the night together in the impala talking, kissing, making love and eventually falling asleep.

After that evening, everything changed once again. The couple became inseparable once again. No one mentioned her crossroads deal and went about life as they normally did. Things seemed better, though their situation continued to weigh heavily on their minds and hearts. Dean promised to make the following four months the best of her life. And he did.

They got married while working on a case in Las Vegas, and during their downtime, he took her to the places she always wanted to see and always found ways to show and remind her how much he loves and appreciates her. He also never disclosed to her his ongoing efforts to find a way to save her.

He is brought back to reality as he feels fingers entwine with his own. She appears as a ghostly figure as he looks up from his shoes, her torso covered in blood, her complexion a ghastly shade of grey, and her usually vibrant eyes now a dull E/C. Her ghostly form still wears her wedding ring and the necklace he got her on her last birthday. He is tormented with guilt knowing he could have done more for her.

"It's going to be okay," she says, causing him to shake his head and avoid looking at her.

She lets go of his hand and cups his face. Standing on her tiptoes, she draws him into a kiss that spoke more than any words could in this moment. It spoke of the love they shared. An unexpected love. A love driven by passion, irreplaceable memories, and hope for the future. A once in a lifetime kind of love.

The kiss doesn't last long before Y/N breaks it, keeping their faces close and savoring their final moments together.

"It's time," she says softly. "You know what to do."

He wants to refuse, unable to let her go just yet. He couldn't drag her out of hell, and there was no angel who was willing to do it for him. Both demons and angels claim that this is her fate and that it was supposed to be this way.

Her cool lips make contact with his warm skin as she kisses his cheek, sending a chill through him. But that shiver paled in comparison to the chill he experienced as she began to fade away as he pulled the matchbook from his pocket and lit it.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," he hears her say before tossing the matchbook onto the body of the woman who abruptly and unexpectedly stole his heart.

As the body bursts into flames, he collapses to his knees in exhaustion and grief, his eyes never leaving her body as memories flash through her mind.

Y/N in the front passenger seat of the impala singing Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer at the top of her voice while he drives them back to Bobby's after a case.

Her smearing ice cream all over his face when he started a food fight with her in Bobby's kitchen.

Them showering together after a hunt that had them covered in blood, mud and god knows what else.

Laying together naked in bed, her asleep curled against him as he watches her, soaking her all in and making sure he doesn't forget a single detail about her.

Them stargazing.

Her playful bantering with Sam.

Her getting excited about going to a beach.

Her smile.

Her eyes.

Her laugh.

Her tears.

Her voice.

Her heart.

After what feels like hours, he stands up when he hears footsteps behind him. He doesn't have to look to know it's Sam and Bobby as the two men stand on either side of him, none of them speaking a word as they grieved for the woman that had touched their lives in different ways.

#supernatural x reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fic #dean winchester

84 notes · View notes

natti-ice · 3 months

Text

No Rest For The Wicked- Dean Winchester.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader

Summary: Dean’s one year life contract is coming to an end, Y/N fears this will be her last chance with Dean. Set in the episode of the same title.

Warnings: major character death, written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.1k words)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

The past year had definitely been wild. More demons, ex-girlfriends, selling souls, all of this in a short period of time.

What Dean did was stupid, everyone knew that. His anger and sadness took over his already not-so-logical brain. He couldn't let that hold him back anymore.

He can't take by what he did. Now, he's waiting for his final hour. Sam's efforts for trying to get his brother out of this deal, seem to all fall short. He didn't want to lose his brother for something so foolish.

These events haven't been so great for Y/N either. She had only been in the business for a few years, she started after she met the Winchesters. They became close after the boys had removed a poltergeist from her apartment.

She saw this as an opportunity for a new life, full of adventure and being able to help people from evil. She's been running around the country with them ever since.

Her personality was the opposite of Dean's which would make you think they didn't like each other. But they were closer than she was with Sam. She balanced out the boys. They're bickering and constant fighting had decreased since they became a little group.

This soul-selling situation built a wall in their relationship. He didn't tell her what he was going to do nor did he tell her after the fact. She thought they shared everything, apparently, she was mistaken.

For a few days she didn't speak to him, which was awkward since they still would share a bed. Dean would refuse to sleep with Sam and he wouldn't let Y/N sleep on the floor so he made her sleep next to him.

Thankfully, he took her aside and apologized for not telling her what he'd done. He hated that he did that to her, it pained him to see her upset.

He'd always been so fond of Y/N, he couldn't explain why. She was the coolest chick he'd ever met and she took care of him when he didn't know he needed it. There may have been a feeling or two somewhere in this friendship, but neither of them knew how to express it properly.

They have been looking for Lilith for what seemed like ages. Sam had been trying to get the two of them to listen to Ruby. It's kind of hard to trust a demon when they're trying to kill you all the time.

Ruby had insider knowledge of Lilith, why shouldn't they trust her? At this point, desperation had taken over Sam. His options were sparse, he'd blindly follow a demon if that meant saving his brother.

Y/N had a feeling that trusting her wasn't a good idea. It seemed too good to be true. A demon who doesn't like being a demon? sketchy. She told them about how she felt, but this seemed like a family matter.

It was the day before everything had gone down, before they went to New Harmony. The group had been researching, Y/N wasn't sure what they were looking for. It felt like they were just killing time as the end approached.

She was staring at some sixteenth-century book, her eyes heavy. Trying to understand old English isn't an easy task. She sets down the book deciding it was useless at this point. She went into the small motel bathroom to get ready for bed.

Sam was already in bed, Dean was wide awake sitting at the small table in the room. Y/N knew he must've been exhausted, the past few months wore everyone down.

"Dean you should get some rest" she said

"Yeah" he sighed getting up from the table, climbing into bed next to her. She turned off the side table light, turning so her back is facing him.

Dean stared at the ceiling, not thinking about sleep. His mind raced with images of what he feared was his future. He felt Y/N tossing and turning trying to get comfortable until she gave up.

Now she was facing him, it was too dark to see if he was awake or not,

"Dean?" she whispers

"Yeah?"

"Are you afraid?" she had been thinking about this since the day she found out about his deal with the devil. It must be eating at him, terrified of what's to come.

"Very" he admits turning to face her "I don't have any faith in these plans to save me"

"Don't say that, maybe there's a chance" she didn't sound too convinced herself

"Y/N, you and I both know better. I'm going to die"

"I don't like to think about that, makes it too real" the small amount of light shining in the room highlighted her face, Dean could see the pain on her face

"Everything will be okay Y/N, I promise" He took his hand and light cusped her cheek "You and Sammy will be fine without me, you'll go on kicking demon ass while I'm in the firey swimming pools of hell"

"It's not funny, Dean" she stifled a laugh, lightly hitting his chest

"I know" his voice extremely low

She could see the outline of his face, tracing every sharp feature in her head so it's stuck in her memory.

In the back of her mind, she thought something would happen between them. They shared many stolen glances over the past year or so, both seemed to be scared to allow themselves to be happy. If they furthered their relationship, it would make their job more dangerous. Too many emotions to cloud their judgment.

This was the end, that stuff didn't matter anymore, it was time to stop holding back. She slightly sits up, leaning down toward Dean catching his lips with hers. He was a little off guard but immediately kissed her back.

She pulled away, not wanting to get carried away, especially since Sam was like two feet away from them.

"What was that for?" Dean asked taken aback

"Might be my last opportunity to go for it" she answered, he could hear the smile in her voice

"I think this is a good way to go out" he says going in for another kiss

As their make-out session got more heated, his hands started to travel down to her waist. Making her push him away

"nope, not now" she told him

"C'mon, these could be my last hours on Earth" he pleaded

"How about, if you make it out alive, I'll think about it"

"Fine" he sighed "you're such a tease" he whispered in her ear

She kissed his cheek, cuddling into his chest. He wraps his arms around her, holding her tight against him. He didn't want this moment to end, he knew it would be his last great memory.

"Ahem" Sam clears his throat "You guys are gross"

"Sorry bro" Dean fake apologized

What followed this event was heartbreak. They found Lilith, they just weren't powerful enough to defeat her.

Dean had to make good on his end of the deal. All of their efforts were for nothing.

Sam lost his brother and Y/N lost her love.

Tags: @arthurcerverogf

Join a tag list!

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x fem!reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction

76 notes · View notes

kaleldobrev · 6 months

Text

To the Rescue (3) — Take Me Back Series

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Series Summary: After making a deal to bring you back, Sam doesn't see you until years later when your paths cross during a case

Original Prompt: Requested by anonymous | Hi, I just joined Tumblr and came across your blog, it's wonderful! I'd like to make a request, something between Sam and reader. The reader dies and Sam makes a pact to bring her back, but she comes back without remembering him and the hunting life. He thinks it's best to stay away from her. Years later they meet and she falls in love with him all over again, and when they kiss she regains her memory. Do you like it?

Chapter Word Count: 2.7k

Chapter Warnings: Cursing (8x), Minor Character Death

Authors Note: When I originally wrote this it was 1.2k. With editing it turned into 2.7k | One more part after this folks! Sorry for the cliffhanger in advance | Flashbacks are in italics | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Pulling up to your house, Sam felt as though his stomach was in knots. It wasn’t like it was the first time he had seen your house, but this time it was different. It wasn’t just a normal driveway he was used to doing to make sure that you were safe every once in a while.

“You okay?” Dean asked, snapping Sam out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” Sam lied.

“Alright,” Dean began, opening up his glove compartment and taking out his gun. “Let’s go boy wonder,” he grinned.

Walking up to your front door, the biggest sense of dread starting washing over him as he started to think that maybe something was wrong. “You know, I don’t think she’s home. She usually parks her car in the driveway.”

“Maybe she actually parks inside her garage?” Dean suggested.

Sam looked at him, full well knowing that you wouldn’t be able to park inside your garage — it had too much stuff in it to park your car. It was more of a storage unit than anything. “Trust me on this one.”

“Wow, you really do stalk her uh?” Dean grinned.

“Not stalk, just concerned,” Sam corrected.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Dean said, patting his brother on the shoulder. Y/N would help me sleep better at night, Sam thought.

Taking a small deep breath, Sam knocked on your door, hoping that you somehow broke your pattern of parking in the driveway. It had been a couple of weeks since he’s done a drive by, so maybe you did have enough room in your garage now; but knowing you, you hadn’t cleaned it out.

“She’s not here,” Sam said quickly, and he turned on his heels about to leave your front porch. But Dean stopped him, grabbing onto the back of his jacket to bring him back. “What?”

“You don’t wanna check if she’s inside the house?” Dean asked. “What if she’s —”

“She’s not here Dean. Trust me,” Sam said, his voice a little stern. “The more time we’re here, the less time we actually have to go and find her. Now let’s go and check the shelter. I’ll try and call her on the way there.”

Dean went to open up his mouth to protest, but he knew that his brother was right. “Alright,” he agreed. As much as he wanted to check if you were inside the house, Dean trusted Sam when it came to his gut feeling; especially since this was concerning you.

You didn’t know how long you’ve been tied to this chair, but it felt like hours at this point. Mel or whatever her name actually was just talking your ear off; and it wasn’t even remotely about the deal, but just random little stories about her time here on Earth. If you weren’t currently tied to a chair, there was a part of you that would have actually found her stories to be quite interesting. “I don’t know, I love being a crossroads demon but at the same time, I feel like I could really bring some value to the team if Crowley trusted me more. What do you think?” Mel asked.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” you admitted. “I mean, I’d love to commend you on your work ethic but uh, I’m a little bitter right now,” you said.

Mel laughed. “Fair enough,” she grinned. “But, if you had to give me like a recommendation, would you say I had a good work ethic? I mean, I was your right hand for almost four years here.”

“Again, don’t really wanna commend you when you currently have me tied to a chair in my own shelter,” you stated, your voice radiating annoyance.

“You know, these past four years have honestly so eye opening,” Mel begin. “I can really see why Sammy wanted to marry you.”

“I’m sorry?” You questioned.

Mel went to open her mouth to answer your question, but there were two doors slamming in the distance. And her smile turned into a slightly mischievous one. “Looks like lover boy and big bro are here to rescue you!” She exclaimed and looked at her watch briefly. “About damn time too. I was starting to get bored.”

Mel got up from her seat, and removed a piece of fabric from her pocket as she walked toward you. “Just gonna place this in your mouth so you can’t warn my favorite boys, okay?” She giggled, before putting the fabric in your mouth, almost gagging you.

As the pair walked into the gym, it was mostly pitch black except for the small amount of moonlight that was currently streaming in from the windows. "Y/N?" Sam called out.

Muffled screaming could be heard, and that's when they noticed you sitting in the middle of the auditorium tied to a chair and with some kind of gag in your mouth. "Just like old times," Dean said, pulling out his gun.

"Except we're saving her, not the other way around," Sam stated, he too pulling out his gun.

"Whatever," Dean mumbled. "Just get Y/N out of here."

"And where are you going to go?" Sam asked, slightly confused as he raised a brow.

"Gonna go see if I can find that Mel bitch," Dean said, slightly waving his gun and grinning.

"No need to find me! I'm right here boys!" Mel called out, her voice singsong like; the large auditorium lights turning on in a matter of seconds. "And there's really no need to have those silly little guns out, so you might as well put them away," she said, appearing behind you now. "I just wanna talk. You know, have a little catch up. It's been such a long four years, and I've been so interested in what my Winchester boys have been up to. Especially Sammy here."

"Nothing really for us to talk about. Considering you've killed five teenagers for really no good reason," Sam said.

“But it was for a good reason,” Mel stated. Both boys looked at her with a slightly confused expression on both their faces. “I needed a way to get you two here. You wouldn’t have came any other way. Well, that’s not entirely true now is it Sammy?”

Sam looked at you, and he could see your expression changing. You were no longer relatively calm, but more confused than anything else. “Either you tell her or I will,” Mel stated, her voice no longer sing song like. “Tell her what you’ve been up to.”

Sam and Dean exchanged looks, and Sam didn’t want to tell you what Mel was insinuating. “5…4….3….” Mel began counting.

“Alright, alright!” Sam yelled out in frustration. “I’ve been watching her for the past four years to make sure she was okay.” He sighed. “Happy?”

“Now, let’s see what Y/N thinks about that mmm?” Mel asked, her hands on either side of your shoulders. “Wanna talk?” She asked you, and you eyed her. If looks could kill, Mel would have been dead.

“Fuck you,” you said, muffled.

“Oh my!” Mel laughed. “The mouth on her! No wonder you were so heartbroken Sammy,” she winked.

As Mel, Sam and Dean were talking, you were carefully trying to untie yourself from the chair, making sure that none of them had seen you doing it; as you were pretty sure that if Mel had caught you, she had the ability to kill you in an instant. Then again, you weren’t quite sure how strong demons were.

“Now, I’d really like to hear what Y/N think —” before Mel could continue her sentence, you broke free from the rope that she had tied your hands with, and managed to tackle Mel to the ground.

“A little help here would be nice boys!” You yelled out, trying your best to keep Mel to the ground; but her demon strength was starting to show, as she knocked you to the ground.

Before she could do anything to you, Dean had his arms around her, holding her back as Sam held out his hand in order to help you up. “Thanks,” you said, taking his hand — a simple movement, but felt so natural.

Mel bucked her head back, the back of her head hutting Dean in the nose; the movement caused him to let her go and he stumbled back. “Fuck,” Dean said; some blood running down from his nose.

“You little bitch,” Mel said through gritted teeth. She went to lunge at you, but was stopped when Sam had shot her. She laughed. “You know bullets can’t kill me,” she smirked.

“No, but they can distract you,” Dean said from behind her. She turned around, and within an instant, Dean plunged the Demon Knife into her.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked, the three of you walking out of the shelter.

“Yeah I’m fine just…confused,” you confessed.

“I’m sure. I’m sorry Mel wasn’t who you thought she was,” Sam said.

“That’s not entirely it,” you began, the two men raised a brow. “Mel…Mel said that I knew you guys,” you looked at Sam now. “She said you wanted to marry me.” Sam and Dean exchanged looks, neither one of them really knew what to say

“What else did she tell you?” Sam asked, not denying your claim; as he was in fact planning on asking you to marry him as soon as the three of you had gotten back from the hunt. It was something that he spent months planning.

“She said that you made a deal in order to bring me back to life. And part of that deal was basically having me forget you and hunting,” you said, your voice having no hesitancy to it. “I know how ridiculous it sounds but…I believe her.”

“Dean, can you give us a second?” Sam asked, looking over at his brother. Dean and Sam exchanged looks, and Dean looked at you only briefly before nodding.

“Yeah I’ll uh…I’ll be in Baby,” he said, scratching the back of his head as he started making his way toward his impala.

“Is what she said the truth?” You asked. “And don’t give me a it’s complicated answer. It’s a simple yes or no.” Sam couldn’t help but let out a half chuckle, as this was a like you had said to him far too many times.

“Yes. It’s the truth,” he admitted. “Four years ago, the three of us were on a vampire hunt in Malibu. You and me agreed to go take out the nest because it was only supposed to be three vamps. But…it turned out to be six instead, too many for just the two of us to handle. That’s when you…”

“Died,” you said, finishing his sentence. “How did I…die?”

“One of the vamps…ripped your throat out…” he mumbled, his voice trailing. “It was my fault I…”

“Hey, hey,” you said, taking his hand in yours. “I may not remember, but it wasn’t your fault okay? I may not remember you, but, knowing you literally barely a few hours, I know you aren’t that type of person. You just…I get a good vibe from you.”

“You shouldn’t,” he stated. “I’ve done a lot of…fucked up things. Things that…”

“Whatever fucked up things you’ve done, I’m sure it was for a good reason Sam,” you reassured him. “You aren’t someone that’s just going to get someone killed.”

Sam just looked at your hand in his; enjoying the feeling. It’s been so long since he had held your hand. “After, why didn’t you try and ask me out?” You asked.

Sam chuckled. “Thought you’d be better off without me and plus, kinda thought something like this was going to happen.”

“Ask her out already please! I miss her baking!” The two of you heard Dean call out. You and Sam turned, and saw Dean with the drivers side window rolled down; Zeppelin playing loud enough for him to have probably been able to hear the entirety of the conversation.

Sam and you chuckled a little, and you looked at each other similar to that of two people in love with each other. “You wouldn’t want to go out sometime again would you?” You asked, softly smiling.

“I don’t know I…” Sam wanted to say yes; he wanted you back in his life, wanted so much to be in your life again. But he didn’t want to risk anything bad happening to you again. “I’m sorry.”

Disappointment washed over you as you looked at Sam. You had wanted to be with him, even though you barely knew him. But according to Mel, at some point, he had wanted to marry you. You had hoped that maybe with her gone, then you two could get to know each other again and have a bond like you apparently did years ago. You had felt something for him; some kind of connection, a kind of familiarity, even before you knew who he was. But, you understood where he was coming from. “Can I at least give you a thank you kiss?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, almost afraid to say yes.

Sam leaned down, and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. He stared into your eyes, mentally cursing himself for saying no, but he knew that saying no was for the best. You were safer, and you were free. “I’ll always love you,” he told you. “Even if you don’t remember loving me.”

Your lips and his were centimeters apart now, and you didn’t want this moment to end between the two of you. Because you knew, that the second the kiss was over, you’d probably never see him again.

“Take care of yourself,” you said, before the two of you pressed your lips against each other.

The kiss felt natural, a little needy, but gentle. It wasn’t a kiss you would give to someone you would see again, it was a kiss that you gave someone that you would never see again. It was a goodbye.

"Sam, I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe we should wait for Dean to come and help us," you said; as the two of you started walking up to an abandoned log cabin in the middle of the woods; something that you didn't even know Malibu had.

"There's only supposed to be three vamps, I think we'll be fine," Sam reassured you. "We've taken out more than three vamps just the two of us before."

"Yeah but...I don't know, it just feels different this time, I can't explain it," you said, your voice hesitant. For some strange reason, you just had a horrible feeling that something bad was going to happen, but you had no proof. It wasn't like you had premonitions.

"Fuck," you said, a sharp sensation entering your head, as if you just got hit in the head.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Sam asked, concern in his voice.

"Yeah just..." the pain got more intense, and you felt yourself start to lose balance; Sam's hands instantly finding your arms in order to keep you from falling. "My head really fucking hurts," you said, almost strained.

"Let's sit down uh?" Sam suggested, as he started leading you toward the curb in front of the shelter.

"Sammy, she okay?" You heard Dean say, the sound of the impala's door opening and closing. You heard barely hear the sound of his running toward you and Sam, as everything started to sound so muffled due to the intense pain and pounding in your head.

"You know, I don't know what I'd ever do without you," Sam said, caressing your cheek.

"I'm sure you'd be fine. You did just fine before you met me," you said, gently smiling at him.

"But my life is a lot better with you in it," he admitted.

"So is mine," you confessed.

"I love you," he replied.

"I love you too," you smiled.

You didn't really know how you had gotten to sitting on the curb but you now where, Sam and Dean on either side of you. The intense pain was starting to subside, and the pounding was starting to cease. You couldn't tell what either man was saying, as they still sounded muffled.

"Y/N?" Sam asked, his hands resting on your shoulders.

You turned to look at him, and all of a sudden you felt the urge to cry. Your hand reached out and touched his cheek. "Sam..." your voice was low, almost inaudible.

"Yeah?" He replied, his voice as low as yours.

"Take me home," you said.

"Sure," he nodded.

"To the Bunker," you clarified.

Sam looked at you; confusion clear across his face. "The Bunker?"

In the next and final chapter...

He scratched the back of his head before pointing to your side table. “Open up the drawer there,” he said, slight hesitation in his voice. When you didn’t move, he sighed. “Trust me,” he said.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @octoberclidan @kidwhofixates @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @crystal555 @hannahisthebanana @seamlessepiphany @madzzz0797 @livingordeadwhoknows @writinginfear @roskar16 @rachiem4-blog @coldspoons @fuiabarcelos @foxyjwls007 @midorimachisenpaii @sammysnaughtygirl @missscarlettangel @frozenhuntress67 @snakebxtez @crystalandphoebewifey @spnandpj @androah @taraswifes If you'd like to be added to a tag list please follow this link If I forgot to tag you and you wanted to be tagged, my apologies!

#Sam Winchester x reader #Sam Winchester x you #spn #supernatural #spn imagine #supernatural imagine #spn one shot #supernatural one shot #Sam x reader #Sam x you #reader insert #female reader

130 notes · View notes

2sw · 10 months

Text

🖤Understanding Season 4&5 Sam🖤

long post, 30 gifs

sorry I don't care if my english sucks or not anymore. I live with the urge to defend Sam 24/7, that's what it's about.

this post looks weird on pc… recommend you to read on the app

Supernatural S1E01 Pilot // S1E06 Skin S3E08 A Very Supernatural Christmas S4E19 Jump the Shark

Do you see the parallels here? This is why I think people who say season 4 Sam was annoying also hate every other character in this show, they just don't realize that. It was not a big deal when other characters treated Sam the way they did, but when Sam started to mirror them you suddenly find it annoying? That's absurd. I know almost every filmmaking choice of this show is unfair to Sam and I hate that too, but still we audiences can see things from various angles and think for ourselves. And sometimes you need to see the story as a story, not something to take sides.

Supernatural S3E16 No Rest for the Wicked Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Sam lost his entire family at the end of season 3. He was full of remorse, and to make up for that he was literally following his family's footsteps. Sam became obsessed with revenge like John did after Mary died. Season 4 was about that vicious cycle, the tragedy of it. Dean sold his soul for Sam just like John did for him. Sam tried to be more like his dad and big brother and did what they taught him. And Sam's relapse was a part of the addiction cycle. But Dean locking up Sam in the panic room changed nothing, the final seal was broken after all. So Lucifer gets out, and the oldest family drama is about to start all over again. It wasn't about who was right or wrong. It was about the circle, a never ending story. The next season was about restoring trust in each other and seeking redemption, and Sam eventually broke the chain by sacrificing himself. That's what makes Swan Song the tragic ending of all time. (though it all comes back as the show keeps going on... but what is spn without The Codependency™)

So, yeah, it's beyond me how some people can't see the reason behind Sam's choices in this season cause the context was SO clear. If you watch the show, you can see how much Sam and Dean affect each other and how much both are affected by John in different ways. And it's natural because they are family. We are who we are because of everyone and everything that has happened in our lives, and same goes for every fictional character, including Sam. It's just as simple as that. Sam was just trying to live by his brother's will while battling with grief and loss. He had to keep on fighting without Dean. And the reason why Dean wasn't with him was because Dean sold his soul to save Sam and went to hell for it. It not only made Sam the sole survivor of the family but also made the very being of him their entire legacy. Starting with Mary making a deal with Azazel, every choice ever made in this family is what brought him there. As I said earlier, it's the cycle. And a consequence. In short, if it is a sin, I think it’s everyone’s.

Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Sam and Dean's fate to be vessels? Their destiny? It doesn't matter in the end. This show was always about fate AND free will. Free will was always there. You always have choices. Sam was the one who believed that most desperately so he became the one who broke the cycle. Even though it was only the last page, he ripped out the written fate anyway and wrote the ending himself. YES HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. And after everything he did for the world, the story made him suffer eternal agony with the Devil because he is also a tragic hero figure. (SIGH literally the character of all time)

You can see this all only as an observer, as an audience. For Sam, the only thing he could do at the moment was just find the person to blame―in this case, it's a demon named Lilith― and get revenge. And he was lost somewhere along the road, he became an addict because he couldn't do anything about his loved ones dying, but when he drinks the demon blood it gives him power and a sense of control. (aaaaaand I still don't get why writers wrote this as some kind of diabolical desire in 4x18. I get it sammy what the fuck would chuck know about helplessness)

You can say you wouldn't suck up the demon blood, that's fine, but this story was written in this way, and if Sam didn't do that, the story couldn't go forward. Why? Because he is the main character. (It always had to be you, Sammy!) And reminds you that if you want to watch a show with multiple seasons, you have to remember what happened before to understand what’s going on now. So please don't make up things in your head, just go back to where it all started. There are contexts in everything. Everyone is a consequence of each other, but we don't have to be bound to that fact. We have choices: to change, to make things better. That's why we should be kind to each other, and for that, I love and respect Sam so much cause he didn't let his traumas define him and always tried to be a better person. ♡

I'm not done yet!!! see also this:

Supernatural S3E04 Sin City Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Dean worried when Sam killed a demon with the Colt to save him cause it also killed a person who was being possessed, and it was 'cold'. But then when he finds out about the demon blood, he is so mad that he doesn't even care about the fact Sam was saving possession victims and just screaming in Sam's face "Use the knife!". It's so??? What is the logic here? This just proves it's always been about his feelings, not really about saving people. Is that an evil thing? No, I don’t think so. Dean is just a human, he can’t control what he feels. But if you use this to beat up Sam, I'll go feral then. Cause Sam is a human too.

And look at Ruby's masterful manipulation skill. Makes Sam feel guilty about everything, and comes back with what he needs when no one's left around him. She really was the best of those sons of bitches.

Supernatural S4E04 Metamorphosis

Seriously, what was Sam supposed to do? Everyone on this show didn't even bother to understand Sam and just decided everything he ever did was fundamentally wrong. Sam was using his own body to change the things outside of him, cause there is nothing he can do about the fact of his body, the blood in it. In life, there are things we can change and we can't. We have to live with that non-negotiable fact for our whole life. Sam learned this most painful way... And one thing about Sam is that he never let the unchangeable things make him give up the things he can change. It's not always a good thing though, cause Sam in s4 was very self-destructive. He was obsessive, and that is one of his problems. Sam is so stubborn and doesn't give up on anything easily. Actually this problem could be solved after s7 cause he tried to move on, but s8 happened… so it got worse, kept getting worse, and look what happened in s10. The most heartbreaking domino effect, I'd say...

Supernatural S5E03 Free to Be You and Me Supernatural S5E06 I Believe the Children Are Our Future

Anyways, back to the point. Unfortunately, Sam started the apocalypse. And what did he do after that? When the whole world tried to hunt him down, the devil wanted to crawl inside him, and an angel called him an abomination? He didn't give up there to remain that abomination. He didn’t surrender. Instead, Sam begged for a second chance. He wanted to atone, wanted redemption. He still believed in others even though he lost trust in himself. He believed there was still something he could do about it. Even when he was possessed by Lucifer, he fought till the end to save his brother and the world. And he did it. He was a fucking hero at that moment, sadly a tragic one too. But the important thing is: Sam Winchester represents hope. (I think Swan Song was a perfect ending as a tragedy. This show got weaker and weaker after s5 which kinda ruined the perfection, but I'm also so glad the show continued cause this message fits more hopefully in Carry On. I needed to see Sam rewarded with something better than eternal agony after all those additional tortures of 10 more seasons.)

One last thing, you know what's funny about Metamorphosis? Dean had nothing to say about the fact Sam saved more people than when they were hunting together, so he just went "That what Ruby wants you to think?" Dude what was going on in your mind. like that was what Ruby intended, he was right about that only by chance, but I still find it funny that Dean said that at this exact moment. And he does this a lot, attacking the messenger when he can't refute the message. He didn't have any rational reasons like Sam, he just didn't like it and that's all(and honestly I think this can be an actual reason too cause there's a history behind it which I talked about it here. I wish Dean had just talked to Sam and had a real conversation. but he never talks about his feelings, that's what Dean Winchester does. so… yep not gonna happen. also, if the brothers have a healthy relationship, that is not supernatural lol), so he brought up Angels and evoked Sam's religious guilt. And the Angels in question also turned out to be manipulative assholes later. Everyone makes mistakes, but somehow Sam is always the one who gets most condemned and blamed. Dean, On the other hand, is justified by the narrative so many times even when it is actually his fault. As I said, unfair. This is not even a Dean crit post, I'm just mad at unreasonable people and the way this show works in general.

I swear I was normal before watching this season. Sam's demon blood arc was what made me insanely fall in love with him, so when I found out all those hate for Sam… that really could be my villain origin story but instead I chose to be on tumblr, so yeah I believe love wins<3 ha what a way to end a post. sorry guys

#sam winchester #dean winchester #spn 1x01 #spn 1x06 #spn 3x08 #spn 4x19 #spn 3x16 #spn 4x04 #spn 3x04 #spn 5x03 #spn 5x06 #s1 #s3 #s4 #s5 #gifs #i don’t agree with this show on so many things and some of the later seasons just piss me off except for occasional good episodes #but the first five seasons of spn are always worth talking about #spn meta

194 notes · View notes