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boozenboze · 1 year

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Merc With A Mouth Meets Sexy Men

Tf 141 x Deadpool!Male reader

Summary: Watch as the the Task Force captures yours truly and gets me the join them. Damn that Captain has some rizz in him.

Disclaimer- There will be dialogue from the movies and comics

Females She/Her and She/They DNI

M/n was seated on the highway railing while doing some art. He kicked his legs back and forth, he looked like a child.

"Hey I don't look like a child!" The male said while turning his attention the

"Oh.. .Oh well hello! I know right, who’s balls did I have to fondle to be here?” M/n said as he chuckled.

"Can’t say it, but.....it does rhyme with polverine.” I said as I look back over at the traffic.

“I do at the moment have places to be, a face to fix, and oooooh!” I said as I looked at the oncoming vehicle. “Bad guys to kill!” The man in red in black said as he stood.

“Maximum effort!” The masked male said as he jumped off the railing and into the sun roof of the car. Off the bat one guy tried to shoot him but I headbutted him. I grabbed his face and slammed it into the window behind him. My boot collided with the guy in the fronts face.

“Cock shot!” I said as I hit another guy in the balls. I threw one of the guys out of the trunk and I heard him screaming, funny. I leaned to the front and I pulled out a piece of paper, as he turned to face me as I said.

“Have you seen this man.” The photo contained a beautiful drawing by yours truly. The guy grabbed my head before slamming it into the radio.

“Ow...ow....ow”

“Ok time to cause some trouble.” I muttered to myself as I grabbed the guys wrist

(Pov switch)

“A little bit further.” Price instructed as the team made their way down the highway. The ride had been going smoothly, but the traffic build up only made the eldest a bit frustrated.

"What the hell..." Gaz said as he looked up at a car go up in the air, a motorcyclists being given a wedgie. It felt like time slowed as the others looked with wide eyes. The cars ahead of them swerved in order to not be part of the accident. Gaz did the same thing for the same reason and Ghost grunted. The four of them got out the car and watched as the men in black who were still standing pointed their guns at a car.

"What the hell is goin on here?" Soap asked as someone popped their head out of the car.

"Hey!" The voice said as the man said as he immediately had gunshots thrown at him.

"Wait-hold up, you may be wondering why the red suit. Well thats so bad guys don't see me bleed." The man explained as Gaz couldn't help but chuckle at the comment.

"That guys got the right idea, he wore the brown pants!" The man pointed at the man in question which led to more gunfire.

"Ok-fine! I only have 12 bullets so your gonna have to share!." Price grabbed his gun in case things got worse.

"Hold on didn't Laswell say that there was a guy that we had to look for." Gaz asked as Price ducked under a car due to the bullets being sent towards them. Price pulled out the small paper that Laswell had given them which had a short description on the guy they've been looking for.

"M/n L/n...ex Special Forces and dishonorable discharge." Price read aloud as the others gave each other a look. Soap looked at the paper that had a small picture of what the man looked like, well it wasn't a picture of his face but it was what he wore. The same man that was currently wreaking havoc was the guy that they had been sent to look for....Again

“We’re seriously being sent after this this prick again.” Soap muttered to himself, disappointed that they were going after the same guy.

The bridge was silent at this point as the mans voice boomed threw the silence.

"Oh Francis!~" The man said happily as he bumped the car door with his hip as he skipped over to the man who had a katana lodged into his shoulder. The male flicked the grip on the blade and watched it wiggle.

"Now i'm about to show you what did to music in the late 90’s” I reeled my arm back but my hand touched something hard. I touched around it before realizing.

“Dad?” I asked only for whover this giant was to lift me up and throw me over his shoulder.

“Well this isn’t the family reunion I hoped for.” I said teasingly as I eyed the two buns that were in my face. My intrusive thoughts are telling me to just.

“Hehe. Nice ass you got there buddy, seems like somebody’s been doing their squats.” I said as the man grunted before he begsn walking.

“H-hey! What are you doing I need answers from him.” I said while pointing at the man who fucked up my face.

“Shut up your annoying.” The big guy told me with a....British accent. Thats hot. Damnit Francis gonna get away now i’ll have to get another plan.

Timeskip

Thud

“Can you stop!” Price yelled, getting tired of the mercs constant headbanging on the table. The man in red and black squinted at the older man before sighing dramatically.

“Come on sugar you’re boring me here. Can’t we do something fun.” I asked as the man huffed at my comment.

“Hey, you and your guys are the ones who chose to take me... again....you can’t get mad at me.” I said defensive as the man sighed. Price looked at me with a deadpanned expression.

“M/n....we’ve come up with a proposal. Join the Task Force, it would be good for you.” Price said to me as I sighed out of boredom. Can this dilf stop with this same dialogue. At this rate his voice is gonna break me!

“How many times are you gonna tell me this! Seriously just give up already.” I complained as Price leaned in and stared at me. Is he trying to make me cum from staring into my soul...kinky.

“Listen, I believe you this job is fit for you because, well.....your you.” Well ain’t that nice of him to say.

“Ok.... I still don’t believe i’m "Task Force" material but...what am I getting out of this.” I asked while putting on my ‘thinking face’. The other man sighed while running a hand through his hair.

“We’ll help you find a cure for your face and we’ll give you a high rank.” Price said thinking that would make me agree.

“And....?”

“We’ll all take you on a date-”

“Deal!”

Side note-There will be another part or 2

#male y/n #cod x male reader #gaz x male reader #male reader #ghost x male reader #mw2 x male reader #captain price x male reader #soap x male reader #lgbtq #gay

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hanjisunglover · 4 months

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𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓

content: rom-com, heroes and vigilant, love triangle into a poly relationship, delicate topics (su!cide), bad jokes (yo mama jokes).

pairing: 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻 han jisung x 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗹 lee minho x f!reader

summary: You never forgot the antihero, deadpool, for taking your father away from you. You never forgot the hero, spiderman, to save your life from an attempt suicide. You forgive, but never forget.

author notes! ta-da! new mini series with my minsung ^^ can't wait to share with y'all the amazing result of this, some infos before y'all start. Deadpool doesn't have cancer, his face is not ruined due the experiments.

001. MUST BE FUNNY IN THE RICH MEN'S WORLD

002. 9 MM - CASSETTE EDITION

003. PRISON FOR LIFE

TAGLIST: CLOSED. @binnies-binna @ihrtlix @yeahsspider @p0eticjust1c3 @manuosorioh @hanjsquokka @boi-bi-ahaha @im-sinking-in-mud @weareapackofstrays @dprkbyn @cupidcures @i2nsstuff @xtegannoelx @lyramundana @catiuskaa @felinows @5starluvr @kpopsstuffs @xxstrayland @tiapatito202278ok

STARTED: 01.11.24

FINISHED: 04.07.24

#forgive but never forget series

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montimer · 4 months

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Deadpool x reader Nsfw hc's

Gn!reader, smut ! Both dom 'n sub

Sub!Wade

He's not embarrassed about being loud, he'll moan endlessly

Hes probably in his costume and mask on (mask is pulled up to his nose) so you can't see it but his eyes roll back every time he feels you hitting the right spot

Loves the fact that you can take control over him

The more he loses himself in pleasure the more he'll obey you

Hes into almost anything, as long as ur comfy and enjoying this too

Tie him down and make him beg for you to touch him

Touching his chest will make him feel very loved

Tease and bite his nipples, he will give out whimpers and high pinched moans

Kiss him until his gasping for air

The way you slowly move ur hand along his skin makes his head spin

Praise him and tell him how good he is

You can make him cum sometime with out even touching him

Or call him ur slut/whore and degenerate him. He will beg for you to punish him

Kiss him all over, it will make him into a flustered mess

He'll let you use toys on him. Put a vibrator in him and play with it, it'll make him go crazy.

He'll throw his head back as he cums

As an aftermath kiss him passionately and tell him how much you love him and what a good boy he was, he needs it really. Tho it might make him aroused again, maybe a round two?

Dom!Wade

He doesn't care what pose you guys are in, he just wants to feel you

He will make you suck his dick while praising you, groaning and low moans leaving his mouth.

He'll wrap his arms around you and hold you close

If its in doggy style, he will bite you from behind, sucking and leaving love bites on ur neck

He loves it when you ride him, he will massage ur chest. When his close he will grab you by the waist and fasten the pace

He'll make you moan out what you want and might tease you a bit

He cant help it, you just look so cute begging for him

He will be gentle if you ask him. Hes a softie for you

He will want you to sit on his face, no matter your weight he will want ur full weight on him. He'll eat you out/suck you hungrily, his hands wrapped around ur legs to keep you there.

He'll moan out ur name so lovingly as he cums

As aftermath he'll cuddle you close, burying his head into ur chest.

Bonus funny lil hc:

He'll try bringing romantic atmosphere by having the bed covered with roses and him laying on bed in 'paint me like one of your french girls' pose

#deadpool x gn reader #deadpool x reader #deadpool #marvel #smut #wade wilson #wade wilson x reader

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peoplesgraves · 10 months

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Can I request a Yandere Deadpool with s/o that sleeps in weird places like UNDER the bed and behind the fridge and on top of it also they sleep like a rock so if Deadpool can’t find them…. I really wanna see him have a panic attack!

Yandere Deadpool X Weird Sleep Reader Headcanons

•Hes pretty calm about it compared to a lot of other yanderes. Like if he wakes up and notices you’re not in his arms (like you should be) then he’ll just sleepily stumble around, like a whiny kid, until he finds you and then joins you. Have you ever seen a grown man try to wedge himself inside the closet without waking someone else? Pretty funny honestly.

•Youre like a cat. He never quite knows where he’ll find you so it’s always like a fun little surprise. The only time he’d really get concerned and either wake you up or move you himself would be when you’re sleeping a bad position or somewhere dangerous.

•I don’t think he’d ever truly lose you but the closest he’s come is when he couldn’t find you in any of your usual spots or the unusual ones. After a brief panic attack, he sits in the bed and there you are! Sleeping in bed and officially the last place he’d think to look.

#yandere marvel #yandere deadpool #yandere wade wilson #yandere x men #yandere avengers #yandere mcu #yandere

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dyns33 · 2 months

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Obvious

Most of the time I see him as the cool silly big bro, but I love Deadpool, so here's a long Deadpool x female reader.

Normally nothing destined Y/N to meet Wade Wilson.

A normal life, without enemies, without superpowers, without contracts on her head. She didn't fight, respected the law (at least for the most serious and important things) and she considered herself to be a good person.

The first time she had passed Saint Agnes Orphanage, she hadn't really paid it much attention. The second time, she found it a little strange that an orphanage was in this part of the city, which was not really made for children.

Then one evening, when she had had a bad day, she realized that it was a bar and she decided to go in for a drink.

Since she thought an orphanage was strange in that place, she might have thought it was odd for a bar to have such a name. She could also have been scared when she saw the other customers, who all turned towards her, indicating that she might not be welcome.

But Y/N was tired, and she just wanted a drink before going home, so she smiled politely as she sat down at the counter.

The waiter frowned, but he agreed to serve her with a shrug, muttering that as long as she was an adult, it wasn't his problem.

A tall, bald, tattooed guy then approached her, putting a hand on her arm without worrying about her private space, asking her if she wanted to follow him home.

"… No thanks."

“Come on, don’t be a slut.”

"Please."

“Come with me, you stupid bitch.”

"Now, that's really not very nice. The lady said no, a gentleman should know it's time to leave. But no Hector, not only are you insisting, but you're being rude."

"Fuck you, Wade, don't get involved in this !"

The waiter continued to mumble about cleaning, while this Wade guy smashed Hector's head against the counter. A tooth even flew close to Y/N’s face.

That might have been enough to scare her completely. In addition to the surge of violence that was happening right next to her, there was the red suit, the katanas and other guns, which could make you want to flee as quickly as possible.

But when he finished kicking Hector's ass, Wade turned to her, and despite the mask, it was obvious that he was smiling, extending a hand towards her.

"Miss, my apologies for that boor. He knows nothing of good manners."

"… Thank you."

"You're very welcome, lovely angel ! Wade Wilson, Deadpool, Merc with a mouth, at your service ! Oh, he spilled your drink… Bad Hector ! Or was it me ? Maybe it was me. Weasel, the same for the little lady, on my note !”

“You already owe me a fortune.”

“I will kill whoever you want for free !”

“I thought you didn’t kill anymore.”

"Ah yes… I'll suck you for free !"

“Here you go, two drinks, just shup up Wade.”

In the end, Wade was a bit special, but not evil. He stayed with her, partly because he loved having someone to talk to, but also to make sure no one else was going to bother her again.

And he talked a lot. Everything he said didn't always make sense, he even seemed to be talking to himself sometimes, but he was funny. It seemed to please him that Y/N laughed at his jokes. Behind the counter, Weasel was still muttering that she was doing something silly.

Among the long tirade he delivered that evening, she understood that Wade had not had an easy life. That he had done some things that could make him a criminal, but he had been trying to improve for some time.

"Colossus already wanted me to become an X-men but it wasn't for me. Wait, there are X-men in this universe ? I do not know anymore. Anyway, there's Spidey and Devy. No, he's right, this nickname isn't great, Devil. Like Daredevil. They want us to be Team Red, but only if I stop unliving people. It's not fair because they're friends with Frank, and Frank keeps unliving people, but he lost his wife and his kids, so I guess he has more sympathy points than me."

"I don't understand everything, but I guess Spidey is Spiderman ?"

"Yes ! He's super cool ! And his ass ! People confuse us sometimes, it annoys me, but it's a bit of a compliment. He's my role model."

Like a true superhero, Deadpool insisted on taking her home. He was terribly honest, saying that he could leave her a few blocks away, but that was useless, because as a former mercenary, he was very good at stalking people and he could find her address without difficulty, even if he only had her name.

"Which I wouldn't do ! Normally. I might want to see you again, and ask Weasel to find your number, but I know myself, I'll put it in my phone, and I'll hesitate for weeks, then I'll send a lousy message, you'll be scared, you'll block me, I'll be ashamed and I'll shoot myself in the head because I'm a moron."

“I can give you my number.”

"And I… Huh ? Huh ?! For real ?!" exclaimed Wade, jumping like a child on Christmas Day.

Wade called her right away, specifying that it was not to verify that she was giving him a false number but a little. Despite the mask, his face showed surprise when he saw that she hadn't lied.

"I should put a bullet in my head to make sure I'm not dreaming."

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

“Baby girl, we only just met, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

When Deadpool talked about shooting himself, he meant it literally. It often happened that he died, either because of an enemy, an accident, or by his own hand. But he always came back. A gift like a curse.

They became friends. It was obvious, and quite sad, that Wade didn't have many friends.

Most people around him couldn't stand him or were afraid of him. It was true that he could be quite unpredictable, especially when he got lost in his discussions with the boxes, or an imaginary audience. But he was never mean.

Weasel was more of a collaborator, Al was forced to accommodate him, and the other heroes, unable to get rid of him, tried to make him a nice guy.

And he was really nice. Crazy but adorable, funny and wanting to do well.

Very quickly, Y/N started to have a crush, and even more. Even after seeing him without a mask. He never took it off completely to eat, repeating that he didn't want her to lose her appetite or feel like throwing up.

But after landing in a trash can after a fight, and forgetting that he had invited her to watch Princess Bride, Y/N had seen him. Yes, his scars were a bit impressive, but they weren't that bad.

With an embarrassed smile, he waved his hand while remaining frozen near the entrance.

"… I can move if you want to run away. I won't follow you. I may look like Frankenstein's monster, but I only pursue young girls who ask me to. Or who deserve it. Because criminals have no gender, I don't discriminate."

“I brought popcorn.” was her only reaction.

"... Oh. Sweet ? Salty ? Caramel ? Al must have beer somewhere, hidden with the cocaine."

After that, he was a little less afraid to show his face, even though it was obvious he wasn't comfortable. It wasn't easy to reassure him, repeating that she didn't care about his appearance.

Y/N didn’t remember how they ended up having this conversation. The only thing she knew was that she was pressed against him, laughing, when she had innocently said it would be fun if they went out together.

This made Wade laugh, but a very serious laugh, leaving no chance and hitting where it hurt.

"You and me ? Ah ! No chance."

"Why ?"

"It's obvious."

A simple little sentence could sometimes do a lot of damage. Too busy making fun of the characters on the screen, Wade didn't see Y/N's look of sadness, just as he didn't feel her body stiffen.

Still, she should have expected this response. Of course it was obvious that they had nothing to do together. Deadpool was a super hero (in training), he was tall, muscular, funny, rich.

She had seen photos of his deceased ex, Vanessa. She had observed him flirting with beautiful women and men before. It was already fortunate that she was only friends with him.

So Y/N swallowed her pride, accepting the obvious, and not talking about the subject again.

But it was hard, because the more time passed, the stronger the feelings became.

It was even harder when Wade entered his depressive phases. He kept putting himself down, insulting himself and accepting insults from the boxes in his head. It took a lot of patience and perseverance to get him to put down his gun.

"Anyway, I'll come back later. Bad luck for the world. People would be happier if I wasn't here anymore. Maybe they'll miss me a little, for a few minutes."

“I would miss you, Wade.”

"Yeah… You say that because you're adorable, baby girl. But you'd be better off without me too. I'm a real drag."

“You saved me the first time we met.”

"And since then you think you owe me a debt. You know, every time we're in the street, the others look at me and they're afraid. If I wasn't there, you could be with them. You could have lots of friends.”

"I don't want lots of friends, Wade." Y/N sighed, taking him into her arms. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Oh, sweetie pie, me too !”

It was rarer for them to find themselves in the opposite situation. Not because Deadpool wasn't capable of empathy, but because she didn't like talking about her problems, preferring to keep everything to herself and cry out of sight.

Unfortunately, she had made the decision to become friends with a former mercenary who loved to jump from roof to roof, only to come visit without warning by tapping on the window.

Y/N had no time to hide her tears, holding back a sob as her eyes met those of Wade, who had stopped mid-movement, fist raised against his window.

He didn't hesitate before entering, terribly serious.

"Who ? Who did this ?"

“Wade…”

"Who made my baby girl cry ? I want a name. Spidey and Dev will understand. Yellow wants decapitation, White wants emasculation. Tell me who."

"It's really not necessary. It's not important."

“It’s important if you cry.” Deadpool growled as he looked around the apartment for clues.

Once he had an idea in his head, it was almost impossible to divert his attention. If it wasn't so important, it was possible with food or talking about Spiderman's butt. But this time he considered it very important.

Tired, Y/N thought that all she had to do was say that it was just a ridiculous heartbreak for him to calm down. He had no reason to kill someone just because they didn't love her back.

This actually seemed to calm him down a bit, as he patted his cheeks with his hands in a dramatic gesture.

"What ?! Someone doesn't love you ?! Someone doesn't like my sweet little angel ? Are they crazy or stupid. You deserve the best !"

"Actually… He's the one who's too good for me."

"Bullshit ! The important thing is love ! If a woman can marry a space duck, then everyone can be together, as long as it's legal and consensual !"

"… What ? No, wait, it doesn't matter. Wade, please forget it."

"A name. Let me prove to you that this fool doesn't deserve you, and not the other way around !"

"No."

"A name !"

"You ! It's you !"

For the first time since they met, Wade was silent for more than a minute, staring at her like he wasn't sure she was real. He often had hallucinations, so this happened to him.

Then he muttered incomprehensible things, probably speaking with his boxes to check that he had heard what she had just said.

"… Me ? As in, me ?"

“I know what you’re going to say.” Y/N sighed, wanting to disappear. "You've already said it, it's obvious that we're not meant to be together. You're charismatic, and strong, and funny, with powers. You save people, you have an extraordinary life, while I… I am me."

"… Baby girl. Do you have a fever ? Did you lose a bet ? Because… You saw me without a mask. You know I'm crazy and dangerous. There are several bounties on my head, I've unlived more people than the population of New York, and my favorite movie is Zoolander 2. When I said it was obvious… I meant that you were too good for me."

There had been a misunderstanding, each being convinced that the other could never want the other, because they were too different. But even though he was special, with skin problems and an inability to concentrate for more than ten minutes, Wade was much better than a space duck.

However, while she was sure of what she wanted, he hadn't clearly said what he expected next.

"I mean, if you just want to be friends, I'll understand."

"You can't tease me like that and then break my heart. Don't play with me, woman !"

“Wade…” Y/N sneered, as he gesticulated like a degenerate, declaiming his great love for her and her smile, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Taking advantage of his inattention, she approached him, until he froze when he felt her hands on his mask.

With a look, she asked him if she could take it off, and as he didn't move to stop her, she took it off first up to his nose, before hesitating.

Y/N didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she also didn’t want him to think that she didn’t want to see him if she didn’t go further. So she took out the whole mask, she observed Wade, smiling before kissing him.

"… Don't take what comes next as a bad thing." he whispered as their lips parted.

"What ?"

"I'm going to have a heart attack…"

As always, Y/N thought he was joking at first, until he collapsed in front of her, looking delighted even though his heart had stopped beating. Fortunately she was used to seeing him die, even if it was still a little traumatic.

It took almost an hour for him to wake up. Y/N had time to take a shower and make herself some tea, sitting on the couch to wait.

"Shit !" he shouted as he opened his eyes, looking around the apartment before looking at her. “Did we kiss ?”

“Yes and you died.”

"It's weird. Normally you go to heaven after you die, not before. But I probably don't have enough superhero points for heaven yet, so the other option is that I became totally crazy."

“Wade…”

"I know, White and Yellow would have told me. They're already saying that all the time, but they would have insisted, especially for me to escape from the asylum. It's no fun fighting with fake people and hippos. Was I dead long ?"

“No, a little over half an hour.”

"And you stayed with me, it's so cute. Nurse Y/N. No, Doctor Y/N, and I'll be Nurse Wilson. Oh, Doctor Y/N, I made a mistake in the dosage of a patient, I'm a bad nurse, punish me."

"… Let's see Nurse Wilson, we're in the middle of an intervention, calm down."

"Uh oh ! You're playing along !" Wade exclaimed, pouting from the ground. "I didn't expect that ! Wait, I need a blonde wig, and a white dress. You'll see, I look super sexy in a dress. Wait, we do this now or it's quick and we should have a date first ?'

“I wouldn’t say no to a date.”

"I see the genre, like in novellas. Doctor Y/N takes me to the restaurant to talk about my future promotion, but in fact, you are going to admit to me that I am pregnant with you, before I even enter your bed !"

“As long as you’re in my bed before the hundredth episode.”

“UH !”

The small, high-pitched cry of pleasure preceded a second cardiac arrest, Deadpool's mind imagining Y/N and him in a bed, with a stetoscope.

When she asked him if he was going to have a heart attack every time, he told her that he would probably die for good the day he saw her naked, or that they made love for the first time.

But Wade was a gentleman, he ate lots of vegetables, exercised, and begged Daredevil to teach him meditation techniques.

So he had the courtesy of having the next heart attack only after they were finished, and in the toilet. And every time after that they were together, Wade would go out of his way to just get a nosebleed.

Especially on Weasel's counter, telling him everything they had done or almost everything, which annoyed the poor waiter a lot, even if he knew that it would happened from the start, the moment he saw Deadpool with Y/N.

#deadpool #wade wilson #wade wilson x reader #deadpool x reader #deadpool fanfiction #deadpool imagine #wade wilson fanfiction #wade wilson imagine

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your-next-daydream · 2 years

Note

Wade Wilson x equally chaotic reader hcs 👀

AH MY FIRST ASK! Thanks for requesting bro!

Ok you didn't specify if you wanted platonic or romantic? Soooo imma do both😃

Reader has no specified gender

Platonic hcs

Oh? Do you want to leave the house without a warm Wade Wilson goodbye? No, you're going to get a hug that smells of cocaine and weed. Upon finally leaving, you hear, "Bye kiddo, make sure you get in trouble for Papa!" With an over exaggerated kiss blown your way.

"Hey kiddo, have you seen my katana...kid? Why is my katana in that guys stomach right now?" He said with a hand in his hip. "I don't know. I got bored, and he was conveniently placed there."

Chimichangas for breakfast and dinner. Lunch is a healthy dose of some sort of drugs or killing. There is no in between. Desert is rom-coms and tears don't forget to say hello to his unicorn.

You help blind Al around the house but for fucks sake quit making so many sex jokes around that poor lady.

please...clean Wade's suit... it smells horrible

"Hey Wade, want to go TP and throw eggs at the X mansion with me? Colossus pissed me off again." You muttered, grabbing some of Al's eggs promising you'd pay her back later. "Umm fuck yeah I want to! Just don't hit pinky pie or teenage angst they'll have my head...well they kinda can, I can just grow a new one!"

You joke about getting avocado lotion for him. "Hey, Deads, I got this avocado scented lotion for you. Maybe some pheromone shit will happen, and you won't look like a dumpster fire anymore." He whipped his head around, grabbing where his heart is and stumbling around,"wounded"

You cut Wade's arm off once just to give it to a bad guy asking, "Need a hand?" While Wade came up behind that person killing them.

he takes you to the bar with him, and you both get on Weasel's ever loving last nerve. I mean, he's both of y'all's arms dealer. Why not mess with him?

there was a fight Wade started in the bar, once where he broke his leg off and just started beating people with it.

Romantic hcs

What's personal space? He's always touching or hugging unless you specifically tell him not to.

you reassure him that he's still a handsome man. You lightly pick on him for being an old avocado, but that's about it.

he gives you his unicorn and whatever else of his you want before he leaves for a mission.

there was a time when you came with him and you both got captured. You're actually the one who figured out how to escape...he was just gonna cut himself up to fit through the bars.

sex jokes? Oh yeah, all the time. You can't stop this man he's hitting on you like you guys are at the bar, and he's trying to take you home. You shock him if you return the same energy.

makes sure you're asleep before he even thinks about going to bed himself.

you and him took a pole dance class so he could show off, and he wanted to see you move like that.

he had a funny idea to put his mask on you during a mission, and it was funny watching another version of himself walking around killing.

Do you know those hugs where you get picked up and are just held there for a while? Yeah, that's him, except his face is in your chest no matter what it looks like.

Colossus has walked in on you both making out and out of embarrassment. You attempted to cover it up and say, "You wanna join?" But Wade went along saying "Yeah big boy, wanna have some funnnn?" You hit him on the head.

Pizza and movie dates. It doesn't matter where y'all are you guys are going on a date if he can help it. He thinks it's cuter when you set things up.

Oh, someone hurt you? They never existed. He knows you can handle yourself he wanted to take care of it.

He'll buy you Deadpool themed merchandise ALL. THE. TIME. You like are running out of space for it at this point.

There's a hoodie with his logo on it and he's definitely fucked you in that hoodie before.

He probably would like running a knife or a gun down your sides. The gun is never loaded, but you don't know that.

knows he could get out of it, but he thinks it'd be fun if you tied him up.

Oh, I'm definitely thinking about his stamina and strength...

After y'all do have sex straight to the bathtub or shower to get cleaned off. He could care less, but he knows you want to be clean.

CUDDLE SPOONING KING

He'd like to be little spoon sometimes. Other than that, he likes laying between your legs with his arms around your waist to make sure you can't leave in the morning.

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anxiousnerdwritings · 1 year

Note

batfam x deadpool reader (platonic) would be so funny because what yandere wouldn’t get an aneurysm from an immortal mercenary darling who continuously receives fatal injuries and acts like it’s a paper cut

Oh, the Batfamily would be a complete fucking mess the first time they see Deadpool!Reader severely injured. Like, even Batman who usually stays the most level headed out of everyone is a sobbing, shaking mess putting pressure on the wound. Everyone would just be in utter hysterics. Hell, even the villain/criminal who dealt the fatal blow would be freaking out. It wouldn’t help that the Reader would probably play dead just to fuck with the family even more.

No matter how often they see the Reader with fatal gunshot/stab wounds, missing limbs and or a gaping in their chest just walking around like it’s any originate Tuesday afternoon, the Batfamily would never get used to it. They’ll try to hide their reactions a hell of a lot better, portraying themselves as calm and collected but internally they are freaking the fuck out still.

It’s reassuring to a point that their darling won’t ever die on them for any reason and if they are hurt they’ll heal perfectly fine, but still that doesn’t take away from witnessing their darling in such a horrendous state. It sticks with all of them and it would push the family to persuade the Reader to stop doing what they’re doing. Whether it’s sticking with the mercenary gig or taking up being a vigilante and helping the family and other heroes alike keep the world/Gotham safe.

If the darling brushes off or waves away their worries and continues doing their thing, then the family would take measures into their own hands to ensure their safety. And they aren’t taking “No” for an answer. No matter how messy things get.

#anxious answers #yandere batfamily #yandere dc #yandere batfamily concept #yandere dc concept #yandere concept

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soupsandwich64 · 9 months

Text

Y/N: *sitting with deadpool*

Deadpool: *sitting on Y/N*

Deadpool: Hey..

Y/N: ??

Deadpool: *kicking feet* I would still love you even you were a mentally ill girl on tumblr reading self insert fanfiction about me as a fictional character *he says, poking your nose*

#deadpool x reader funny #x reader #deadpool #fourth wall #fourth wall break #wade wilson x reader #deadpool funny

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0bloodhorn0 · 1 year

Text

Some inspiring conversations i’ve had with Deadpool

#deadpool #character ai #colossus #colossus x male reader #colossus x reader #deadpool x male reader #gay #deadpool x reader #marvel #marvel memes #funny #memes

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terracebatman · 4 months

Text

Deadpool 3 cameos

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hyukaphobicsworld · 9 days

Text

In red we trust

⚠️WARNING⚠️

This will not be like my other drabbles. This book is for mature audiences only. Please know this book is only for imagination and is not based on true or wanting events. Thank you

Second warning(s): Deadpool!felix x Harley Quinn!afab reader, enemies to lovers, controlling, murder, blood, fear kink, oral sex (female receiving), Felix hitting it from the back, Felix is really a bit perverted, samurai/killer Felix, slight misogyny in the beginning (Felix learns his lesson), cheating, masturbation (no cumming), humiliation kink, Dacryphilia, leaving marks on each other, grinding, cussing, and weapons, strong ass pull out gang!!!! (TELL ME IF I MISS ANYTHING!!)

Note: Guys, I have no idea what I’m yapping about. I really don’t know a thing about Harley Quinn nor Deadpool (I know more about Harley Quinn than Deadpool) They most likely won’t act exactly like the character nor be even

He runs around and swing his trusty swords through all of them. One by one, they all fall down with nothing but scars as the last piece of evidence. None of this is a joke to him, none of this is funny to him. He takes this serious. He gets people behind him, in front of him, and beside him.

The leader, boss, can only stand there confused. He sees all of his men be taken down by one dude in red. A man who is incredibly powerful. But not physically like Felix. Felix believes that that is all that matters. The physical power and what you can do with it. Not the controlling power.

The leader sits there in shock when there is no man left of his. He’s scared and is only left to think, “Who is the foe in all black and red, two swords on his back and an intimidating mask down his face? And how the hell is he so good at fighting?” Felix starts walking towards the leader and the leader backs up until his back was pressed against the cold wall behind him

“Who are you?!” The leader aggressively asked. “State yourself?!”

Felix slowly pulled off his mask and smirked at the shocked man’s face. “The names Deadpool.” He said in deep, alarming, and intimidating voice. Nothing scared the leader more. “Is that yo-“ were his last words before Felix quickly brought out the gun and shot him. Leaving nothing but dead people on the ground for evidence. He rolled his eyes and put his mask right back on. He starts whistling while walking out into the hall. He trips over one of the bodies and stumbles. “Woah! Excuse you!” He throws his arms up in the air. He was talking to the person he brutally murdered with his swords, actions as if they were still alive and they did that on purpose. Felix walked down to the dead man and kneeled. “So you really aren’t even going to excuse yourself? Jeez, people these days.” He rolled his eyes while chuckling to himself. “I’m sorry, Deadpool!” Felix said, making the dead person’s lip move in sync to his voice.

“Yo!” You scream from across the hall. Felix looks back and tilts his head in confusion. You looked like nothing but a shadowy figure to him. He snickered to himself when his vision got cleared and saw it was nothing but a woman with a metal baseball bat in her hands. He got up and wiped his hands. “Who are you? I don’t want you ending up like…” He pointed at all the dead people all over the floor and shrugged his shoulders. “Plus,” he started, putting his hands behind his back and standing from on his heels and back on his toes. “I don’t like to fight women. Why do that when we both know who will win this fight?”

You snickered. Of course, you’re a woman and he’s a man which obviously means he’s better and has to go easy on you. What a pathetic view on women. You pointed your bat at him and closed on of your eyes. “Seems like you got all the work here done. So all I need you top do is step aside, toots!” You smiled and wiggled your head back and forth, causing your pigtails to move. Felix stops moving and stands still. “No can do, pink. You see, I have this whole-“ He started but you couldn’t stand his blabbering. You ran towards him with your bat swinging up.

“Well damn, couldn’t let me finish?” He asked, sarcastically. He pulled out his blade and ran up to you too. When he got close enough, he swung and missed. You jumped from the left wall to the right wall and landed your whole body weight on his shoulders. He moved around and placed his hands on your thighs while grunting. “You look eatable from the view right here.” He tried to joke. You rolled your eyes and picked the pistol out your pocket and spined it around your finger before shooting him in the neck. He fell to the ground and so did you.

Felix holds his neck, trying to stop the blood from coming out. You clicked your tongue at him and found some type of wire with on the ground. He’s going to die anyways. What’s the point in tying him up? “Well,” you begin, wiping off your hands, “It was nice to meet you, Mr…” You paused, trying to catch his name. But all that came out of his mouth was gurgling sounds. You chuckled and walked off with your bat on your shoulders and your arms wrapping around it.

You walk into the room where the leader and all of his men were murdered. You whistled. He did all of this? Couldn’t have done it alone. You could. But, with the way you easily defeated him, no way he did it by himself. You laughed and took the little paper you had in the back of your shorts and punched in the numbers to the code. But it didn’t work. The hell? You could have sworn these were the numbers the man told you last week? Even after you killed all of his colleagues right in front of him, he still lied. “Well played chubby desk dude, well played.” You said to yourself. Before you even got to punch in the numbers again, you heard light foot step and you immediately swinged you back to see.. that dude in the red again?

How? You just shot him, but no time to stop and think! He’s already coming at you with a sword. “Didn’t think I would just let you do that to me so easily, did you pink?” He snickered and you kicked his leg, but he didn’t budge, still trying to cut your waist. You managed to jump over his blade and kick his face while you were up in the air. His body stood still but his face trembled a bit, causing you to get a good look at his neck. What the hell? You don’t even see the bullet wound! It’s like you just didn’t shoot him with a gun! When you landed back on the ground, you dropped your bat. You did a backbend into a flip behind you to get your bat back. “Oh, you’re flexible! I like that, pink!” You knocked one of his blades out his hand with the bat. “How the hell did you not die?!” You asked, still trying to hit him. He laughed and grabbed his blade back. “Because I’m a ghosssttt!” He said, trying to intimidate the voice of a ghost. Jesus he was annoying.

You growled and ran to hit him with your bat but he got you before you could get him. He sliced you thigh which cause you to lose balance, but still have you up in the air. Though you were landing right for him, he catches you. He look at you for a second too long. Staring at you and yur body down before he threw you against the wall harshly. You groaned and got back up. “Still not tired, pink?” He asked. “Never, red!” You ran and he went up, so you went down. You slid across the floor and kicked his calf. He fell straight to the ground while you got your bat back. You quickly got up before him and swung the bat across his face, making him lie right back down. “Now stay down, red!” You yelled at him. You put in the numbers again and it did open this time. You smiled, this is what pudding wanted! But when you opened it, there was nothing but a sticky note with “haha” written in a dark red. It was him! You look and he wasn’t on the ground anymore, he was on the widow, about to jump. He looked back to you and smirked. “The names Deadpool, pink!” He laughed and jumped out the window. And although this was a high building, none of his bones broke when he reached the concrete. Who the hell is he? And why is he so invincible yet sexy?

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Another day of unexpected catastrophes. Mr. J is going to be upset when you tell him one dude dressed in red and black from head to toe, heavy handed, deep voiced, small waist, sexy, swift moevment fighter snatched the information he needed right from your hands. What will you say then? That you were too distracted by trying to keep your legs tied together from the warmth that you could feel going on in your core? Or the fact you only stayed for longer than you needed to because you were trying to see what he looked like without the mask? If he sounded that sexy, he had to have been sexier without the mask.

No Harley! You have Pudding! You have joker! Sure, he’s leaving you alone very often but expects you to do the above and beyond for him. I mean you had to go through all that work and get can’t even get you a can of pineapples from the store without complaining! Ugh! But he is still your boyfriend! So if you even thought about red while simultaneously sneaking your hand down your underwear, fingering yourself because of the way he grabbed you and threw you, you are a disgusting monster. But here you are, doing exactly what you didn’t want to do. Disgusting monster.

You touch yourself to only the thought of him as your lips opened agape and let out tiny whimpers. You could feel the tense tension when you first saw him. Though you can’t tell his facial expressions (because of the whole mask thing) you wanted him anyways. His voice so deep and sexy. Calling you pink and his sarcastic and funny remarks. God, he was so annoyingly sexy. Your fingers went faster when you remember the grip on he had on you. Forgetting the moments he hurt you and replacing them with the pleasurable moments is something you just learned to develop with Joker. You were already gripping your bedsheets and then you remember his words, “Oh, you’re flexible! I like that, pink.” sends you through the roof, almost getting you to cum.

“Honey! I’m home!” Were all the words you needed to hear to throw you off your game. Great. Your not even horny anymore

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This time, you have a new location. Joker wasn’t so happy when he found out you were not able to get the first one. He mumbled off something with the words of “have to do everything by myself again.” Which was infuriating to you because he never did any work. But, nevertheless, that’s your pudding and you love him. Now, time to get information again. The riddler won’t stop himself in the act and it is anything for your pudding, am I right?

This time, you come prepared in case of any distractions. You got greanades, baseball bat, pistol, snare trap, and you personal favorite, Jack in the box! (A distraction tool.) You are unstoppable. Not another man in your mind, no one in your way, you feel greatly confident. Who wouldn’t when your you?

You get into your car and tap on your speaker that connects you to Joker. “I’m on my way pudding. I’ma make you proud,” You said while smiling. “You better.” He said back. You turn it off and get ready to drive down the location you panned to stop at.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You made it there. But this time, it was full of people. Yes! Finally, you get to get some credit into doing something. They all started charging at you like a bunch of humans chasing a rat. Can you really blame them? A girl with crazy clown makeup, two pigtails, and a baseball bat comes in when it specifically said “NO WEAPONS!!”. But, you still kick there ass. Your bat swings across their heads and they all get taken out.

Your gymnastic skills coming in handy from time to time. That’s when more started to come. But it seems like they were running away then actually running towards you. You ignored it and kicked every single one of their asses. Throwing your bat all around. Getting people from the bathrooms, meeting rooms and even elevators. In which you use to get upstairs. You’re left with nothing but blood all over your body. You use the elevator to get upstairs as you whistled. And then, you saw him again. The dude from yesterday.

Red. He was there again. His facial expressions were visible through the mask and it upset you. Because you could really see when he resisted his eyebrow up. Stupid motherfucker. Why is he even here? He took your stuff yesterday and now he is here for a round two? You growled. “Hey! You gotta be fucking kidding me.” You yelled at him and he threw his arms up. “How are you not dead? You feel off a seven foot high building!”

“Nice to see you too, pink.” He laughed and took out his swords. “But this time, I really need you to go away.” He squints his eyes and talking a little louder so his voice isn’t muffled behind that stupid mask. Stupid fucking mask. What does he look like without it? Seriously, he better be drop-dead ugly so you don’t feel bad when you kill him. “If anything, you were in my w-“ you were about to finish your sentence till he threw a tiny knife out his pocket and threw it straight at you until you caught it. “Well that was just rude.” You rolled your eyes and threw the pocket knife at the wall.

You took out your bat and started dashing at him again just like yesterday. He came toward you as well as both came in a baseball to sword competition. It was insane. He was just like you. He looked so brittle and fragile. That was only because he was so skinny. But he was just as strong, coordinated and unpredictable as you. Both use humor, both really good with weapons but there is something about, and that is that he will not die. You can’t brush it off. He is almost as invincible as you.

“Harley!” You heard coming from your earpiece. When you tried to reach for it, Felix kicked your bat out of you hand and your ear piece out your ear. “Damn it!” You said and Felix pushed you to the ground. He won this time. Felix put his foot on your back and grabbed your pigtails, pulling them back. “Okay, pink. Let me ask you this, w-“ Before he talks you spit on his mask. He stood for a bit then wiped the spit off. When he did, he wiped it off with two fingers. He made you open your mouth and put his two fingers in your mouth back where your spit belonged. He chuckled as he watched you be defeated by him, yet you still let him torture you. You are literally choking on his fingers with your spit clogged down your mouth yet this is the hottest thing that ever happened to you.

“Harley! Harley, babe! You still there?” Joker called out. The ear pierce played out loud now that it wasn’t in your ear anymore. Felix chuckled darkly and took his fingers out of your mouth. He looked over at you and raised a brow. “That’s you name, isn’t it pink? Or, I’m sorry, Harley.” You could only glare at him, not wanting to say a word back out of humiliation and shame. “Pretty, thing.” He said, caressing your cheek.

“He said babe, didn’t he? That’s your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?” He asked, deepening his voice with every question asked. And again, you could only glare at him, but he knew what your glare meant. “He is, isn’t he? And here I was wishing you were single.” With his foot still on your back, he smashed the ear piece. The only way for you to communicate or even go back to Joker.

You were upset, that was hot at first, but now, this is just unessecary. You set your palms on the floor and used your arms to lift you up. You kicked him off your back and made him fall to the ground. You walked on your hands to be your bat back and when you did, you stood back on your feet. Felix got up and started stretching. “You are so flexible, Harley. You don’t know how much that turns me on.” He chuckled. He brought out his other sword and he smirked. He started whistling but you noticed his legs were opened widely. If you squeezed yourself small enough, you could kick his ass. So you did. You slide across the floor and went between his legs, then used your bat to hit his dick.

When he fell on his knees, holding his crotch, you were about to leave to find the information you originally came for, but you couldn’t. Not without knowing one question at least. What does he look like? You needed to get your information quickly and find some type of way to get to Joker but your curiosity got the best of you. You slowly walked up to him and laid him over on his back. Before he could even protest, you got on his lap.

“Shut up!” You yelled at him and he growled. But he did as you said, he stayed shut. His hands were free, he could stop you anytime if he wanted to. He could throw you, punch you, hell he could make you choke on his fingers again, but he didn’t. He didn’t move a damn muscle. You quickly reached for his mask and snatched it off his face. Jesus he was so fucking hot.

He had pink lips and a well defined jawline. It was sharp and noticeable. This he had pink plump lips that were covered in sweat, but he licked it off with his lips. His nose was round but pointy at the same time. And his hair blonde with the tips dyed red. Red was a real good nickname for him. He grunted in defeat, just like you were but this time he did do something with his hands. His hands landed straight on your waist. Your reactiveness called and lied his hands down on his wrists before giving him a look, almost for consent. He pushed your hips back a bit further to the point where you were on his hard dick. He was excessively hard to the point where you gasped as you felt his dick.

He rolled his hips and moaned at the cause of any friction on his dumb cock. But he was hot when he threw his head back, showing more of his Adams apple. “Oh yeah, pink. Just like that” He said in his dep voice, This time, you heard his original accent. You knew it was wrong. You were in love with Joker but god you were horny. And Joker wasn’t giving you this type of satisfaction in bed.

He unzipped his pants and let his cock spring out of his pants. You gulped at his length. Not even Joker got this hard in the bed. “If you want to.” He whispered to you and you cleared your throat. Well, this is an obvious answer. No.

“Yes.” You said, grabbing his cock and start licking the tip. What are you doing? Of course you should stop but his sweet moans make you want to keep going. He’s like a bitch in heat who hasn’t been fucked yet. You started taking his full length down your throat and he groaned, holding your head still as he started to fuck your mouth. “Oh fuck. Stay just like that Harl.” He said, there goes a new nickname. His sexy deep voice mixed with Australian accent keeps sending vibrations in a place you don’t want to talk about.

Felix lets out his last grunt before coming all in your mouth. Nothing but long, white sperm dripping from your mouth. You looked up at him and he looked back up at you. Both of your eyes landed on each others lips and you got pulled into a heated make out session. Both of your tongues attacking one another’s. You both moaned into the kiss as you saw his cock getting harder. He started to make his way down your your neck and left marks all over your neck as you moaned. “Red, re-“ He cut you off and put a hand on your mouth. “Felix. I’m Felix.” He actually said his name. He might be getting too comfortable.

“So short. Wanted’ to rip them off since I first saw you.” He confesses, referring to your shorts. His voice went deeper and deeper the more he complimented you. They were some booty shorts that you wore for gymnastics. Leather and black just how you liked it. His hands snuck down to your shorts and rubbed the his hands down the silk.

With at least two swift movements, he was right on top of you. “So pretty, Harl.” He said again and slowly started to aggressively pull your tiny shorts down. Then, your pink laced panties. “Oh god” he growled and leaned his face towards your cunt. He took one quick swipe with his tongue on your cunt and your back arched up. He was so pussy-whipped for a girl that he just known yesterday. Good thing you are too.

He kept licking you up and down, eating you until there was no oxygen left in your lungs. Your gripped on his hair, pulling his face down harder. “Oh shit. Felix!” You moaned out which encouraged him to eat you more. He swirls his tongue just the way you loved, making you buck your hips against his plump lips and wet tongue.

Your legs started to close up on his head, letting him know you were almost close. But he kept moving your legs, not allowing them to close up on his head. “Stay still, bitch.” He growled. He was just so nice and giving you all these compliments, but now you’re the bitch? Great. And although you should be kicking him off you, you moaned louder. “I’m gonna cum, please!” You begged, not even know what you were begging for. It’s like you were having a stroke. Just spilling words out. He rubs your thighs and fingered you while sucking your clit.

She rolled her eyes back and came all over his fingers. You panted on the floor, catching your breath after the impassioned moment. He got up and sucked his two fingers with your cum slowly, and you watched him. You watched him lick your cum clean off his fingers. “Fuck..” You blurt out as your body collapses on the floor.

You just cheated on your boyfriend with a dude who you were trying to murder to get out your way yesterday. What the actual fuck are you doing. You pulled up your shorts to which Felix was confused to. “Hey, I’m not do-“ before he could finish, you kicked him in his face and booked it, running straight to the file room. And you have to admit, it is impressive how well Felix can take out so many men with two swords and maybe a gun. Because all of your work downstairs, was an easy blow. But it’s just like yesterday when you walked into the file room. Nothing but dead men with sword wounds on their back, head or for some odd reason, their pelvis. Questionable, but it gets the job done.

“Shit, shit, shit!” You cuss to yourself. Felix broke your ear piece and now you have no idea what to do when you get to the file room. You don’t know if you were supposed to unlock some secret code or anything. Fuck. “God, what the fuck do I do?” You cursed at yourself.

“How about not kick me when I give you the chance to cum next time?” You heard a familiar voice from behind you. No, of course it’s not Joker. You wish. It’s Felix. You turn around and back up slowly as he approaches you. “I was being nice to you, pink. I thought you were a sweet girl. Why are you so mean to me?” You kept walking back till your back hit the cold wall that made your back arch.

“I have a boyfriend.” You stated. “You knew that because you asked me, and I responded.” “Didn’t seem like you did a few minutes ago.” God he was so cocky, you wanted to punch him. You wanted to punch him for being right. Because, to be logical, you just sucked a dudes dick and then let him eat you out, knowing damn well you have a boyfriend. “Yeah, that’s the problem, Felix! I have a boyfriend!” “You have a boyfriend but you’re confused on why I’m doing better than him, right?” Yeah, that it. You punching him for being right, starting now.

You threw a straight punch, aiming for his face but he caught it just in time. He turned around and bent you over the table, leaving your arms behind your back. “Am. I. Right?” He asked, emphasizing each word. As much as you tried to squirm out of his touch, it was no use. “Yes..” you were confused on how a dude who was trying to kill you yesterday is better at fucking you with his tongue than the man you have been dating for 6 years now.

He sneaks his hand down the curve of your ass, then down your cunt that was soaking. “May I?” He asked, insisting that he was asking for your consent to fuck you. He was a cold blooded samurai, but he wasn’t a rapist. Good to know. “Yes.” You said, clearly. So clear, in fact, he raced to pull down your shorts again and take out his cock. “I’ll pull out, I promise.” His voice was so sincere considering what he just did to you. He leaned down and kissed your soft neck, distracting you from the face he was slipping his cock inside you right now.

You moaned when you felt it inside you. It was hard enough to take on your mouth, but it’s ten time harder to take him inside you. You gripped his arm and he griped your hips tighter. He slowly let you adjust to his size. “You got it. You can take it.” He reassured you as you whimpered and whined.

As soon as you fully adjusted to his size. He moved at a faster rhythm. His hips were so well coordinated with his thrusts, making it soft but pleasurable. But it didn’t seem like Felix could go that far with slow sex, because he immediately went faster. Not wasting any time and fucking you into the desk. You moaned loudly since you just got used to his size and he’s already fucking you like a dog in heat. You scraped the desk and moaned. “Oh shit, fuck.” You moaned. He grabbed both of your pigtails and pulled them back, causing your fucked out expression to show.

Felix laughs. “Oh, Harl. You’re so pretty.” He looked at you cry and wiped the tears all over your face. “Look so pretty when you cry.” He leans down and sucks your neck again as he hits your g-spot as well. It was like being overstimulated over and over again. You screamed at how good he was fucking you. He grabbed your tits, hair, face, he was touching you all over. “You’re so pretty, pink.” He said against your neck. “I’d choke you if you didn’t have a choker on right now.” You couldn’t tell if he was joking or being serious, but the pleasure didn’t want to make you find out.

“I’m gonna cum!” You moaned and he started groaning loudly. “Me too. Fuck, cum with me.” He said, pinning your hand on the desk. It only took a few more thrusts before you both came. And just like he promised, Felix pulled out just in time, cumming all over your back. “Holy shit, that was awesome.” Felix said, before you even got to get a word out, you heard someone in the halls. “Harley! Harley! Pudding!” Shit! Joker was here! “Damn it.” Your cursed and immediately pulled your shorts back up as Felix put his cock away. “I have an idea. Let me see your thingy.” Felix said and took your pocket knife and started to cut all around his body. “What the hell are you doing?! Doesn’t that hurt?!” You asked him, he wasn’t even hissing or groaning at the pain.

“Like hell. I need to cut you.” “Wait wha-“ before you could protest, he was cutting your legs, arm and even your cheek. It definitely made it look believable that you guys were fighting than fucking. “Okay, now you need to look dead.” You to,d him and he shrugged his shoulders. “Easy.” He takes the pocket knife and stabs his neck, just like how you did the first time. “Felix!” You whispered to him, trying to make sure Joker couldn’t hear you. “Lix! Dumbass! Why would you do that! I said fake!” You dropped to your knees as he dropped to the floor. “It wasn’t obvious from the first time you met me, doll? I’m mortal! I don’t die. I’ll see you soon, pink. I’ll see you soon. Now get off the floor and stop showing compassion for me or else your boyfriend will know we did something.” He managed to gurgle out and you laughed. Always found how to be funny in the wrong times.

Felix eyes closed and you got up. When you walked out into the hallway, you saw him, you saw Joker.

“Jeongin!” You ran to him and hugged him, acting like you didn’t just let another man fuck you. Jeongin held you back, picking you off the floor and spinning you around. He looked at all your fake ass scars and runs his finger through the cut on your cheek. “Your okay, right Harley?” Oh yeah, you were more than okay. You were fucked out of your mind. But you just nodded. “I’m alright pudding!”

“I’m sorry I made you do this alone. You made sure everyone was gone?” He asked you, always making sure you did all the work. “The job is done.” You told him, smiling. “Let’s get going then.” He pecked your lips and you pecked his back. He held your hand as you walked with your pudding.

In the car, you felt something weird on the back of your thigh. You look to see what it was and it was a note. “Call me, pink. ***(***)****” Seriously. How did he even manage to do that? “Jeongin, I love you.”

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Crazy plot twist that Jeongin was actually joker 🤪🤪. I’m like sooooooo smartt to do thattttt. Anyways, tell me if I should make another one. This actually took way longer, so I hope it’s worth the wait! Good night, morning, or afternoon! (It’s 12 am for me rn)

#stray kids smut #lee felix #lee felix smut #felix smut #plot twist bitch #I’m still in love with my cheating smuts 🤪🤪#Jeongin plot twist #Joker #Harley Quinn #Deadpool

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