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lesewut · 1 year

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"The Secrets of Inquisition and Other Secret Societies in Spain" written by Victor de Féréal in 1845 (due to my researches, found out that behind this name is Madame de Suberwick) revised by M. de Cuendiaz and tranlated into German by L. von Alvensleben. The seamy shady side of history can sometimes be so dark and terrifying, that it could easily compete with every horror movie. The 16th century is not without cause, one of the darkest epochs.

“(…) if the one, who is ruling, would be a good shepherd, he would not allow greedy people to shear his sheeps, who would cut with the scissor down to the flesh, to get the wool together with the blood. The indulgence against the Inquisition is nothing more than political calculation. The love for gold is, what covers the empire with pyres.”

Sometimes acquiring a book and have no real clear expectations, it can fastly turn into astonishment. Do not know, why calculating with an historical non-fictional book, I've achieved an amazing fictional book, that is creativily integrating "The Secrets" and "Underworld Jargon" into a romantic frame-story:

Sevilla in 1534 under King Charles V., the Catholic sale of indulgences at the zenith, just some decades after the Reconquista and rediscovery of "El Nuevo Mundo"- The daughter of the governor gets harassed by the Grand-Inquisitor, though in panic and overstrained by this unexpected and faith-shaking attack, she can fend off his voluptuous intentions. Undismayed the Grand-Inquisitor hires "Los Hermanos De Gardunia" an underground organisation, asking to carry out a contract killing of her fiancé. What an unexpected twist as a Serena (~decoy duck, often young, beautiful women) has sympathy with her age-mate and convincing her partner, who is a Guapo (quite high in the command structure) to help the unfortunate. Spiritual and sacred assistance they get by two priests, who could harldy be more different: Joseph, a minion of the Grand-Inquisitor, belonging to the Dominican Order- Johann, an itinerant preacher of the Fransiscan Order Their conversations and debates about hyprocrisy, Protestant Reformation, abuses of power, the genuine faith (just to name some relevant topics) were not only explicid and lucid, but comprehensible through seeking salvation in the simplicity of the teachings of Jesus: Love and strive to achieve perfection <3

"The luck is here", said the Apostle and laid his hand on his chest.

For an easier in-depth look I decided to share some of my notes:

In the first centuries of Christianity, popes and priests followed the paths of the Apostles- As long as they were religiously persecuted and suppressed, Christian sovereigns walked humble with God- But --> Roman Empire, who saw its general power endangered and frightened by popular uprisings, so demandment for ruling was executed through Proselytism

It is not really clear who "invented" the Inquisition, some historians locate the origin in Gregory IX. and his appointment of Dominican and Fransiscan Order as executors of Inquisition- -> Extensive preparatory work "Concilium Veronese" in 1184

1231 -> Papal bull by Gregory IX., forbidding of reading the Bible in profane language

Resistance and Oppenents -> Since early XV. century bloody fights in los commones y cortes defining "Genuine Religious Belief" against the Obscurantism of Roman hegemony -> Significant historic persons: Isabella I. of Castile - Juan de Ávila - Marie de Bourgogne (grandmother of former King Charles V.)- Maria de Bohorques - John of God (big meaning in medicine, bequethed more than 60 hospitals after his death)

King Charles V. and the Reformation -> When taking up his duties, he wanted to eliminate the Inquisitional Court with the support of Wilhelm von Croy and Selvagio BUT -> The Inquisition served political interestes and was used to strenghten and ensure the own throne -> Many souvereigns were affraid to lose their power due to the reformation, so they became members of the Inquisition (it was the surest way to save material possession) -> The King just had the right to write a "Plea" if he wanted the Court to close proceedings, but as his personal preacher Alphons Vivuez got arrested (been accused for his closeness to Reformation), he has no power, cause:

"Charles V. was the King of Spain and the Inquisition was the King of Charles V."

Organised Crime and the Inquisition (This needs a whole book for itself, it is a shame, how pure religion was instrumentalized and deformed for fleshy desires... no wonder, that distrust is still shaking through the bone and soul- what an abuse!) -> Most of the criminals are part of the Spanisch gypsy population called Los Gitanos -> there were several Oranganised Criminal Brotherhoods, but the most important was the "Brotherhood of Gardunia" -> 1821, abrogation of the "Gardunia", register of period 1520 - 1667 gives evidence for 1986 single orders directly from the Inquisition one-third of the cases were kidknappings of girls and women [!!!]

Court of Inquisition -> In every Spanish city was a street called "Callejón de la Inquisición", in the vicinity was the "Castillo de la Inqusición", therein were "The Tribunal Hall" - a chancellery - different kind of chambers (e.g. to repent, which meant long time of isolation and darkness, directly under the attic floor...) and of course the prison, thrirty foot (~9 metres) belowground, 6-8 prisenors in 8,64 m2 ... imagine the only light entering is just a small stripe directly under the ceiling (so to speak the curbstone's cracks...) and the stench [!!!] -> The aim was to torture the inmate as long as it takes to make him confess all of his sins, there were different kind of sinners and "offenses", but in the end, it always ended in social ostracism and/or death -> It was part of the system to make denuncuation as easy and anonym as possible, the denuncuation of important members of the public was not only a guarantor for entering the "Militia Christo" (one of the many institutions to stabilize this greedy malediction...) it also strenghten the power of the Inquisition, incorporating all possession and tracing the descendants -> The Autodafé was kind of the termination of Inquisitional trail, especially festive orchestration were used for demonstrating power and also for fobbing up the folk with gold and alcohol, turning pyres into great spectacles -> In the courtroom, the Throne of Inquisition was higher than the King's throne [!!!] -> So no wonder, that the Supreme Court (established by Fernando de Aragonia) and its court decisions were violated [e.g. the age limit, forbidding to arrest human-beings under 10 and above 60 years ... but the sad example of Maria of Burgundy, who was 85 years old and loved by the folk as the "Mother of the Poor", shows again, how terrible the Inquisition was... torturing her until her death with 90 years, protesting her innocence till her last gasp] -> The procession of the Inquisition was a parade to demonstrate their power, in the first row were the charcoal burner, who had the "privilige" to supply the pyres with wood, which was free of charge

Suppression of the Folk -> Considering the estate-based society, it must be heartrending to think of the discrepancy of the so called God's will and the hypocrisy of the Inquisition- confusing the genuine belief and replacing values with material -> Fear and civilian espionage were the most effective tools of repression, exploiting the blank belief of the majority

"They accustomed the folk to worhsip the materia, the Divine is for them nothing but an altar made of marble and gold."

Other historical facts -> 1484 fanatic monk Thomas de Torquemada started explicit long-term persuits -> The Inquisition in Portugal was established by J. P. de Saavedra and was supported by the Jesuits -> Donkeys were not only helpful for hard fieldwork, those modest and peaceful poor animals were also used to transport the accussed ones to their destination, their ears were cut off, so the hangman can not sell this sadly accursed creature- but also the Spanish King was carried by mules, except on sunday and holidays [also very exciting, how this liason was appreciated in many cultures for their strenght and modesty in one] -> Moorisch-Andalusian culture, actually all bloomings of the Caliphate, were aggressively suppressed - many insults of today are still attacking converted persons (e.g. the knights of La Abencerraje), especially under Deza and Torquemada - many cultural heritages of the Moors were "racked and ruined", but it is still interesting to find hints of the legacy in language and pronunciation -> Lettre de change - an invention of Jewish and Muslim population in the time of the caliphate, emerged as a compromise solution: By sending their financial backup abroad, they prepared their exile and the poor end of the wonderful, up-lifting and productive epoch, in which all three religion worked and lived peacefully together on the Ibererian peninsula

“You, who could just love and praise, why are you tolerating the crimes of those hangmen?” - “To purify the Good”, said a voice next to me.

#literature #book cover #bookworm #The Grand-Inquisitor #darkside of humanity #simony #false-believe #criticism against institutionalised religion #16th century #antiquarian book #history #Spanish culture #catharsis #abuse of power #criticism against church #Roman Empire #old book

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cantodogargula · 2 years

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O bebê de Rosemary, de Ira Levin

A angustiante gravidez de uma jovem que sonhava ser mãe

Um livro que precisava ler antes de ver o filme Os que me acompanham por aqui sabem que os livros são minha prioridade. Ainda peno um pouco no que tange o cinema. No caso do livro O bebê de Rosemary, de Ira Levin, eu realmente queria ler o livro antes de assistir o filme (sim, não faça cara de espanto, eu não vi o filme ainda), mas espero assistir logo e poder comparar ambos. Por isso busquei…

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#Darkside Books #Ira Levin #Luci Collin #Roman Polanski

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rwby-encrusted-blog · 4 months

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Jaune and the boys at 2AM looking for beans

Jaune: You got the Stuff?

Roman: Yeah I got the stuff, you got the Lien?

Jaune: Sun?

Sun: *Slides Suitcase to Roman* Right Here.

Roman: *Opens case, Nodding* Great. Neo, Take this back. If you gents don't mind I'll be joining you.

Jaune: Hmm. Okay. Come on then. Ren's Already got some of it going.

~~~~~

Blake: Darkside Reporting. Target spotted. Gold Bar and Solar Beam, have been joined by the Candle, Over.

Ruby: Copy that Darkside. Snowscreen, Wildfire, what's going on at your end? Over.

Yang: Wildfire Here. Frogger and Aerogel are making food at a campsite, two clicks south-by-southeast of Nathaniel's Stop-n-Shop convenience store, Over.

Weiss: We've got more incoming, get your head low!

Ozpin: Ah! This smells like the place to be!

Yang: Status Update! The Man in Green is there as well, joined by Sherry, Black-Jay, and ... I forget what we're calling Doctor Oobleck! Over!

Ruby: Copy that Wildfire, you and Snowscreen keep stay still and quiet, report in if anything new happens. We'll figure out what the guys have been up to. I still bet it's a werewolf cult. Over.

~~~~~

Jaune: Ren. Here's what you called for.

Ren: *inspecting product, tastes it* Hm! Perfect~ Menagerian Pure Cocoa Powder, freshly ground! Immensely bitter, with the barest of sweetness!

Neptune: Doctor Oobleck has brought the Mistrali Coffee, We've just started roasting it. You are using Milk for the Hot chocol-

Ren: Do I look like a damn fool, or someone with a dairy allergy Neptune? Have faith.

Jaune: Great! You've been stirring my chili, yes?

Neptune: I've kept on that! it smells great!

Jaune: Thanks! It my personal recipe. Been working on it for years.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #neptune vasilias #sun wukong #ozpin #headmaster ozpin #roman torchwick #asks and answers #mikey-polo420 #rwby shitpost

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thesamoanqueen · 1 year

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(Key Words: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Drama)

Roman Reigns

Fics on this list are all more or less connected

Food advice (the first horrible one but I was brave so...) (F)

The Wrong Stop (Hit of S)

Breakfast (S)

Shut Down (S)

No Sweat (S)

Hittin (S)

Im good (S)

Typa Girl (S)

S.H.I.T - Sugar Honey Iced Tea (S)

Good manners (S)

The Naughty List (S)

The World in a Room (F)

Red Marks (S)

Darkside (A)

Way back home (A - F)

Let me down (A - F - SoftS)

Happiest Girl (S - F)

All Dat (S)

Nothing left (S)

Owner (S - D)

Christmas cookies (S - F)

Onlyfans (S)

Blackwater series

Omegaverse (AlphaWerewolf!Roman Reigns x OmegaWerewolf!Reader)

Chap.I

Chap.II (A-F)

Chap.III (A-F)

Chap.IV (Hit of S)

Chap.V (Hit of S, F, little bit A)

Chap.VI (S, F, Drama))

Chap.VII (A, D, F)

Chap.VIII (S)

Chap. IX (S - D)

Chap. X (D - softS)

Chap. XI (S - D)

Chap. XII (S - D)

Chap. XIII (D - A)

Chap. XIV (A)

Chap. XV (A)

Chap. XVI (A - D)

Chap. XVII (D - S)

Chap. XVIII (D)

Chap. XIX (S - D)

Requests

Daydream (S)

Daydreams II (S)

Trust (Blood)

Long enough (F - Hit of S)

Personal Hell (S)

Same Side (S)

Run this town (A - D - S)

Unholy (S - A)

Hold me (F - softS)

Emotional support (F - softS)

Perfection (softS)

Wannabe (not her) (S)

Tiny pretty thing (softS)

#my fics #roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns smut #wwe fanfiction #roman reigns x y/n #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns x oc

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the-bisexual-bitch · 1 month

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Logan/Logic = Logos

Patton/morality(/heart/emotion) = Pathos

Roman/Creativity(/Passion) = Romance (ig?)

Virgil/Anxiety(/Caution(?)) = ...Vigilance???

Janus/Deceit = ???

Remus/Creativity(the "bad" kind) = ????

LITERALLY TELL ME IF I'M MISSING SOMETHING??

(Side note, besides Virgil, all other """darksides""" have "-us" names- makes me think maybe he changed his name?? (He's trans and I know it!!(heavy headcannoning here)))

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #names

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veecosplayer · 5 months

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NEW ASIDES VIDEO!!

i wrote this all once then it just didn't post so that sucks

-logan waking everyone up

-patton's glasses

-the bell

-11 hours of sleeping for roman

-"huh"

-patton's excitement

-virgil only showing up after the adrenaline burst

-the seriousness for the grinch

-"i just stress"

-"i'm just chillin"

-the speed up words for the news

-virgil and roman's agreement in disliking janus and remus

-logan talking like a mom

-janus stumbling

-remus stepping forward

-patton's words

-"hey."

-remus snapping

-everything at roman in this scene

-"is this smile big enough"

-"someone couldn't find his shoes"

-remus's head tap -janus laughing

-"courteous laughter"

-virgil trying to leave

-logan catching virgil

-video games line

-santa hat

-patton's excitement again

-the look virgil gave

-roman

-"i might be mistaken, but i'm not"

-patton being happy with the box

-janus's line

-patton's confusion in that line

-roman and virgil

-"wwwhhhhaaa"

-janus

-"well- yea"

-"ye- wait."

-"ah fuck"

-the stare

-the avoidance of eye contact

-reference to virgil being a darkside

-janus

-"why"

-"i hate that i know that"

-hand sanitizer

-patton being happy with the box

-logan's disappointment

-roman agreeing with virgil

-"is that all i am to you"

-janus

-remus encouraging logan to be angry

-patton's seriousness

-virgil's sigh because he isn't reading the paper

-logan thinking logically and reflecting

-thomas's support

-"Oh! Oh..no"

-$20'with roman's face on it

-virgil staring at virgil as he gives his rant

-"didn't know you could do that"

-"for christmas"

-janus

-virgil getting angry at janus for roman

-"the unhinged jaw" if anyone gets that reference from the fandom

-the present roman gives to janus

-roman

-"it really is christmas"

-logan

-janus being impressed

-"that's gross!"

-the card

-roman being caring and at the same time not

-"the hissing"

-patton's words

-logan's sass

-"huh. i'm not sure"

-"could be"

-the evil laugh

-"mr. detective"

-"oh virgil" while hugging the newspaper

-virgil's line

-"my bad remus"

-remus

-the moving on

-"aside from the fact that we're you-"

-janus getting offended

-remus

-thomas's explanation and nico's confusion as he speaks

-the gift thomas gives is amazing

-the blinking

-silence

-janus in the endcard

-never to know what logan's gift is

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year

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Cold Comforts: Thaw

hello! would it be possible for you to write a fluffy sanders side fic with the creativitwins and janus just messing around in the Imagination? thank you! :) - tabaxi-power

I literally stalk your blog (in an affectionate way) your writing keeps me going and I reread your fics constantly. That said I’ve been especially enjoying the Roman angst but there can’t be rain without a little bit of sun. Could you write a fluff fic where Roman is working on a big project or idea and he encounters issues along the way but his famILY helps him through it in their own special ways and it all turns out fine? Totally not me projecting or anything… - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: self-doubt, self-esteem issues

Pairings: darkside polycule

Word Count: 4954

"It'll always be ours, right?"

"Always."

"Slow down, Remus," Janus calls as a very determined Remus hauls him through the door of the Imagination, "you're going to tear my arm off!"

"You're a liar," Remus retorts, even though he slows down slightly, "I can't do that! Everyone says I'd need to be a car or a big piece of heavy magickery to pull your arm all the way off!"

"It's 'machinery.'"

"That's what I said."

Up ahead, they can already see another tiny figure waving excitedly. If they listen closely enough, they can hear the squeals and shrieks over the rolling hills.

"Re! Re! Come on, I wanna get started!"

"Ro!"

Janus ends up letting go of Remus's arm and watching the two sprint across the field to almost tackle each other into the grass. When he gets close enough to see they've completely ruined their clothes with grass stains and dirt, still grinning from ear to ear, he has to pry them apart before they start to roll all the way down the hills.

"Alright, you two," he says, doing his best impression of the older kids that sometimes have to look after Thomas, "what are we doing today?"

"Oh, oh! We should play the prince game again!"

Roman bounces to his feet and suddenly the ground shifts around them, grass turning to smooth marble as walls rise up out of nowhere. Before they can blink, they're standing in the grand hall of a magnificent castle, complete with tapestries hanging on the walls, two impressive thrones at one end, and a truly massive crystal chandelier hanging overhead. Little bits of light refract through the crystals, sending bits of rainbows scattered about the floor as Roman's clothes shift into a princely costume.

"Wait, but there can't be two princes!"

"Sure there can, why not?"

"But you're the prince. I don't wanna steal your idea."

"Oh." Roman deflates for a second, tapping the end of his—thankfully—wooden sword against the floor. "What other royal positions are there?"

"He could be King," Janus suggests, only for both brothers to go eerily still and stare at him, "or not! Or not, there are, um—"

"Oh, I know!" Remus quickly changes into an outfit similar to Roman's, except the colors are different. "I'll be the Duke!"

"Perfect!" Roman raises his sword. "And now we fight!"

Janus watches as the two of them clash their wooden swords together, running up and down the length of the hall, even jumping on top of the thrones at times. There seems to be some ongoing dialogue that he can't quite make out—well, he can make out Roman yelling words that are probably supposed to sound like Shakespearian English and Remus just keeps chanting fight, fight, fight, but they're having fun, so who cares?—and Remus seems to be leaning into playing the…bad guy?

"I'll have your throne," Remus jeers as he thrusts the sword forward, "and then you'll have to clean all the toilets in the castle!"

"Never!" Roman's cry echoes dramatically off the walls. "I'll never clean your toilet!"

"Yes you will!"

"No I won't!"

"Yes you will!"

"No I won't!"

Remus rears back to strike with the sword but Roman gets there first, swatting the sword out of his hand and shoving Remus to the floor. "Hah! I win!"

Janus applauds as Remus makes his death scene as dramatic as possible until Roman's giggling too hard to hold the sword up anymore. "Well, my dear prince, what now?"

"New game," Roman declares, throwing the sword away, "that one's done now."

"What about pirates?" Remus is already reaching for the discarded sword, running his fingers over the wood. "We haven't done pirates in a while."

"Okay, where?"

"On a pirate ship. Obviously."

Roman rolls his eyes in a way that would make most teachers proud and the castle around them fades until they're standing on the deck of a pirate ship. The sail unfurls behind them in a long susurrus of canvas as Remus grins from under his broad pirate hat and eye patch. Roman pokes at his leg a few times before Janus realizes he's trying to figure out how to turn it into a peg leg.

"Why don't you just try not bending it," he suggests when Remus starts holding his sword a little too enthusiastically, "then it's like it's made of wood?"

"That's a great idea!"

"Wait, wait, I wanna try too!"

And so what was probably meant to be some epic pirate adventure—and don't get him wrong, there are still mermaids and krakens and leviathans aplenty—turns into a strange mix of helping each other learn how to be pirates without bending one of their legs and talking about the increasingly bizarre ways they lost their legs in the first place.

"And so I was just about to pry the jaws of the beast off me," Remus declares, throwing his arms up, "when the teeth were all snap! And then my leg was gone!"

"Never fear," Roman says just as loudly, brandishing his sword—sorry, cutlass, "I will avenge the ruin of your leg!"

"How?"

"I will tell you when I figure that out!"

Janus laughs from his position up by the wheel, steering the ship through the swells of the open ocean. "Captains, we've got a whale up ahead!"

"A whale?"

"I wanna see!"

A great whale breaches right next to the ship, its massive body twisting through the air for long suspended seconds, before crashing back down and sending a wave to soak all of them. The brothers shriek with delight as they wring themselves out.

"New game," Remus declares.

"Last one, okay? We gotta go eat soon."

"Aww, that's no fun!" Remus pouts up at him. "Why can't we just stay in here forever?"

"Because then the rest of us would miss you. What if we want to come visit and we can't find you?"

Remus sulks for a moment before Roman nudges him. "You wanna go monster hunting?"

In hindsight, perhaps Janus should've been suspicious about how quickly that makes Remus perk up.

"How do you play that one?"

Both brothers turn to look at him and the Imagination changes once more, rock walls rising up and covering them as the air grows colder, staler, a dark cave taking shape around them. Janus looks around at the rock walls and at the two of them a few feet away, practically vibrating with energy.

Ah.

"Run, run, little morsels," he calls, letting his shadow loom menacingly on the floor, "I'm hungry!"

"Wait, what's a 'morsel?'"

"I think it means 'food.'"

"Oh."

"Run!"

It's difficult to chase them through the caves without seeing them, their squeals echoing off the walls until he can't quite tell where they're coming from. Eventually, though, they run through a bigger passage at the same time and, well, his legs are just that little bit longer.

"Gotcha!"

"No," Roman shrieks as he's tackled—gently!—to the floor, wriggling around like some wild thing, "no! Re! Avenge me!"

"I'll save you," tiny Remus declares, summoning a pillow and hitting Janus with it, "get off my brother, you slippery snake!"

"Never!"

Soon it's an all-out pillow fight that ends when both little gremlins decide to just fall on top of him holding their pillows in front, smushing him into the floor. He throws his arms up.

"I surrender! You've defeated me!"

"We won!"

"We beat the monster!"

They collapse giggling onto the floor two, half on top of each other in some strange tangle of limbs that makes sense to them. Janus picks himself up and dusts himself off as the cave fades, going back to the rolling grassy hills.

"Hey, Re?"

"Yeah?"

Roman's voice gets very soft and quiet. "Can we…do this forever?"

"Of course, Ro." Remus turns around and gives his brother a big hug. "We'll always be together. The Imagination's ours, remember? We're Creativity. No one gets to tell us what to do in here."

"It'll always be ours."

"Always."

----

As soon as the door to the Imagination shuts, Virgil lets go of Patton and Janus and reaches out to take Logan gently but firmly by the shoulder. "You've got some explaining to do, Logan."

"Wait, I have to—"

"They're not going to let anyone back in there for a while," Patton says, crossing his arms, "so we may as well go somewhere more comfortable to wait."

Logan sends one last glance at the door before allowing himself to be led to the living room. Everyone takes their places and he swallows the unexpected lump in his throat when he realizes the brothers won't be here to join them. He finds himself staring at the TV for much longer than he'd like to admit before Patton clears his throat.

"So," he says, voice low, "what is it that you want from me?"

"The truth, for a start." Janus waves a hand. "Perhaps why you chose to keep what you knew about the Split hidden for so long."

"And maybe why you let everyone believe it was me," Patton adds.

Logan frowns. "It was a logical conclusion. You are Morality, and thus you determine what is Right and Wrong—or what Thomas believes to be Right and Wrong, and so—"

"But Creativity wasn't Split into Right and Wrong," Virgil interjects, "it was Split into Bad and Not Bad. And Patton didn't—wait, did Patton get created because Creativity Split?"

"I don't know," Logan repeats, "I don't believe so."

"Oh, well, if you don't believe so—"

Irritation flares up in him and he glares at Janus. "You were also around, need I remind you, and so I don't think I should be the only one on the metaphorical chopping block for all that happened when Thomas was younger. You never told me why you left in the first place! For all we know, you could have something to do with Patton's genesis."

"Oh, and I certainly wouldn't be one to keep such a thing hidden," Janus retorts, sarcasm dripping from each word, "it's not as though I had direct contact with Creativity for an extended period of time or that the new Side that appeared was taken into my care without informing anyone else."

"Is that not what happened? You had Remus—"

"Exactly."

The sudden ice in Janus's tone is enough to make him falter. Janus takes a step forward, words hissing through his teeth.

"I found Remus out of nowhere. He was abandoned and alone on a rock in the middle of nowhere wrapped in a thin blanket. He was cold, Logan, and he was screaming for his other half. Do you know how long it took to assure him that he wasn't going to be left again? Do you have any idea how many nights I spent—we both spent—" he gestures to Virgil who nods— "just trying to keep his nightmares at bay?"

Logan glances between them and sees no reprieve from either.

"So yes, Logan," Janus continues, "I had Remus. I had a terrified and alone little Side who grew up thinking his brother hated him. Tell me, where in there does it seem like I had the ability to craft Morality?"

"He's right, Logan," Patton says softly, "I…I don't remember anything about him, Virgil or Remus until we were all much older. You…I just remember you and Roman."

Logan swallows and stares back at Janus. "I do not know what led to Patton's…creation as a Side. I don't know why it happened and that's the truth."

"J?"

"…he's not lying."

"Thank you," Logan sighs, "now if we could all just—"

"But you haven't answered my question."

"And what question was that?"

"Why didn't you tell anyone about the Split," Janus repeats, seemingly not daunted in the slightest, "and why you were happy to let everyone think it was Patton?"

"Who was I supposed to have told? You?" A humorless laugh leaves Logan's throat. "You were gone, Janus, you'd made it very clear that you didn't want to be around me anymore and the last thing I was about to do was seek you out for something like this."

"Why, because I didn't care about Creativity? He wasn't my friend too? I wasn't worth your time?"

"Because I was scared and a child! I didn't know what was going to happen! I didn't do it on purpose!"

"But you still did it! And you never told a single person!"

"If you are going to start lecturing me about keeping secrets, then—"

"Logan," Patton interrupts suddenly, "why do you think we're mad?"

"I assume because I caused the Split and didn't tell anyone about it, although I maintain there was no one to tell and I was a child who—"

"That's not why we're mad."

Logan stops. He blinks. "You're…not?"

"Oh, we're mad," Virgil says, "but not because you caused the Split when you were a kid and then didn't tell anyone 'cause you were a kid."

"Then why are you mad?"

"We're mad," Patton says in a voice that makes Logan's skin crawl, "because you've been using the fact that you know what caused the Split to hurt Roman and Remus as an adult."

Logan's mouth falls open. His gaze darts to Janus, to Virgil, back to Patton, and he still only manages to say: "what?"

"Remus was made because he wasn't wanted. Roman wasn't made, he was left, because he wasn't Remus. And you've been using those two things against them ever since."

"I haven't—"

"Don't lie," Janus interrupts, his voice hard, "you make Remus feel unwanted as a way to control him constantly. You claim he's unworthy of consideration, that his ideas are meaningless, that he's easily dismissed once you get to examine him. You don't want his ideas, and so it's easy to lump them all in as bad ideas. And if Roman isn't Remus, then he must be Good Ideas. If he's supposed to be everything Remus isn't, then he must be obedient. He must listen. He must be easy to control."

"Remus is the Creativity Logic didn't want," Patton continues, his voice slightly softer but no less pointed, "which means he's wild, unpredictable, he does things when he wants to, not when they make sense to do. With Roman…"

"Roman's your dancing monkey," Janus spits, disgust ringing in his voice, "he makes the ideas that are approved when you want them, how you want them. He's there for 0.5% of your day and then he's gone. And if he ever steps a toe out of line, you know exactly what buttons to push to make him behave again."

"Hang on," Virgil says, "we're not exactly blameless either. We're assholes to Princey too."

"But we don't have a convenient 'aim here to hurt Roman' guide we've been using for years."

"…that's true."

"Roman doesn't know what he can be except not-Remus," Patton finishes, "and if Remus is wrong…then Roman can't be wrong. That's—that's the Logic of it, right?"

Logan doesn't say a word. He's staring at the floor.

They're right.

He didn't tell anyone about the Split when they were younger because he didn't know any better, but there came a time when he did. When he realized what had happened and how profoundly it affected both Roman and Remus, and how much the memory of him talking to Creativity still impacted them.

And what did he do?

He didn't tell anyone.

He kept it a secret. Because he knew he could use it. He could ensure that things were running efficiently and Thomas would have all the ideas he wanted and none of the ones he didn't. He could make sure that Creativity would be easy to control and not impact them negatively at all.

He knew how to make Remus go away and so he did.

He knew how to keep Roman in line and so he did.

He knew how to hurt Creativity and so he did.

It doesn't matter that he was only a child when he caused the Split. It matters that he's not a child anymore and he's still causing the Split. He never stopped to think about whether what he was doing was right, because it was working. And if it was working, then something must be correct.

Guilt presses heavily onto the back of his tongue. He feels sick.

What's worse is he knows that somewhere, wherever it was, he knew it was wrong from the start. If it wasn't, why would he have been so willing to let everyone believe it was Patton's fault? If he had truly believed he was doing nothing wrong, that he was guiltless, then he would've corrected them. Or at the very least, said something when he realized how hurt the brothers truly were.

But he didn't.

And now…

As if on cue, the Mindscape shudders.

"What…what have I done?"

----

He knew.

He knew how afraid he was of being wrong. He knew how much it hurt to be dismissed. He knew how badly he wanted, just wanted and he lied.

How dare he?

How dare he stand there like he had anything to do with forgiveness, like he had any authority to act as though he was better, as though he could stand from some wronged, innocent, right place and bestow forgiveness?

When he was the one who'd done wrong, when he was the one who just hurt and hurt and hurt and it was wrong, it was wrong, it was wrong!

He'd been used. Been treated like a tool that misbehaves and breaks and is discarded. Been worked like a dog and thrown into the cold when his tricks weren't good enough. Been forced to dance exactly the right way and when he didn't…oh, when he didn't, he had open wounds all along his back for fingers to dig into.

No more.

The pain in his throat is an afterthought. Barely registers until he tries to swallow and realizes he can't swallow while he's screaming. The sound reaches his ears after miles and miles of faint ringing noises and even then he can't quite register that it's coming from him.

He screams and he screams and he screams because he's hurt and what else is he supposed to do?

He doesn't realize he's stopped either, not for a long while until he comes to realize that he's not standing up anymore. He's curled up on his side, his head pillowed in something soft. His throat is screaming still, but now only in pain. Somehow that's much louder.

"C'mon, Ro," he hears distantly, "open your eyes, Roro, please."

Remus. That's Remus.

"Roro? Roro, I know you can hear me, come on, eyes."

He opens his eyes.

Gone are the rolling hills of green grass. Gone are the remains of the tower. Gone is the bright blue sky.

In its place is nothing but scorched earth. Soot and ash fall from a grey sky, lifeless and crumbling against blackened dirt and cracked rock. His white prince costume streaks with grey, the red across his chest a gaping and infected slash. He blinks numbly as Remus's hands come into view. They're covered in ash too.

"It's gone," Remus is saying, "it's all gone. We did it. It's ours again. It's all ours."

Roman turns to look up at Remus and he swallows through his ruined throat. Remus just stares down at him as tears well in both of their eyes. A trembling hand touches another and shaking arms find their ways about shaking shoulders.

"He hurt you," Roman mumbles, voice strangled, "he hurt you."

"He hurt you too."

"I—I don't know how to not be hurt."

"I don't think I do either."

Ash continues to fall from the sky. The two curl around each other in the ruins of what was once a perfect world.

"We get to start over now," Roman mumbles, "we can—we can make it ours again."

"Don't leave me."

"Never."

"I want you, Roro, I always want you."

"Promise?"

"Always."

----

Sometime later, a lone door shimmers into the ash-filled air.

It opens slowly and the figure on the other side gasps at the destruction. His eyes land on the two Sides of Creativity, still huddled around each other in the middle of the ash.

He steps through the door but doesn't approach.

They stir as one, realizing someone else is in their domain. They stand as one, their arms slightly in front of each other, each protecting, each protected. In the ash, their costumes look the same shade of grey.

"I came to apologize," he croaks, overwhelmed at how much this place has been ruined, "I…I never meant to cause the Split. I never meant to force the two of you away into different bodies."

He adjusts his glasses.

"And…and I came to apologize for never telling you the truth. And for using what I knew to hurt you over and over again. It was petty and cruel and wrong of me to do and I—I'm sorry."

One of the brothers twitches.

"I want you both," he says, desperation leaking into his voice, "you're both—you're both wanted."

"Is it us you want," they say as one, "or just what we Create?"

"I want the singing at two in the morning even though I should be sleeping," he says as he stumbles forward, "I want the you that throws viscera at the wall because you like the way it splatters. I want the you that takes an hour to pick out what notebook you want because you're particular about what you write in. I want the you that watches horror clips until you figure out how to feed your Kraken."

He reaches the two of them and stops, hands trembling as he reaches out for them.

"I want you," he whispers as the ash falls down around them, "I don't want you because you're Creativity, I want Creativity because it's you."

For a long moment, neither brother moves. Then slowly one steps in front of the other.

"You promise," he asks, wary of getting too far away from his brother, "you won't hurt us anymore? Even if we want something you don't?"

"I promise," he says, "I promise. It's okay to want."

The one in front of him stares for another moment, before slowly, he reaches out too. "L-Logan?"

"Oh, little one," Logan breathes as Roman crashes into him, "my little one, it's okay. It's okay, now. I promise. No more. No more."

He reaches out for the other.

"Remus, come here. Please, Remus, let me hold you."

"…you want me too?"

"Yes. Yes, I want you, Remus, come here. Come here."

The last of the ash drifts down to the earth, leaving the world still and silent. A few paces away, just beyond the door, a single sprig of green emerges and reaches toward the sky.

----

Roman sits on the couch. His hands play with the hem of his sleeves. He needs to fix it.

Virgil just left. They'd sat together for a while, listening to music and keeping Roman out of his head. He'd said it was fine if he stayed longer, but Roman had sent him away.

"It's gonna be fine, Princey," he'd said—he always calls him Princey affectionately now—"you're gonna be okay. And if not, I'll kick his ass."

Janus had come by too. Helped to talk through everything and assured him that it would be okay. Even pulled him up and made him dance a little just to try moving around, see if that helped.

"You're going to be fine, my prince," he'd whispered when Roman couldn't quite bring himself to pull away, "it's going to be alright."

Even Patton had come by, not saying a word, just cuddling with him until Roman could lift his head up without being afraid.

"I've got you, sweetheart. We're all here for you, okay? Both of you."

He'd held onto Remus extra tight too.

"Just us, okay? Just us. Always."

Always.

It's been the same for a while now. Logan would ask what Roman had done to be productive that day, Roman would list them. It was simple, effective, and helped both of them realize the appearance of laziness did not always signify inaction. And it kept them both talking about what needed to get done and what they wanted to get done.

Typically, Roman was able to list at least one productive thing per day. Whether it had to do with the videos, or personal projects, or even helping someone else out with theirs. By and large, it had been easy to give at least one thing that would make Logan nod.

That isn't to say Logan's been unkind, no. He's been—he's been good. It's Roman's own fault he's still so afraid.

And to make matters worse, he knows he can talk to Logan. He could say that this isn't working for him, or that he's still scared, or that he just needs to not some days.

All things he could say.

Which brings him to now. Today had been hard. He'd struggled to make it past the grey fuzz in his head to get out of bed, only to choke down breakfast that tasted like nothing. For better or worse, he'd done everything he needed to do yesterday, or the day before, which meant he had even less motivation than normal to make his brain work.

He hadn't been able to do so much as make his bed, let alone work on the project.

He curls up tighter on the couch. Logan would be downstairs soon. Logan who wakes up and does things all day and then still has time to sit down and do this with him. Logan who would learn how unproductive he had been today and be so, so disappointed.

"Roman?"

He looks up. Logan comes down the stairs. "Hi."

"Hello. Are you hungry?"

"N-not really. Why, are you making dinner tonight? Do you want help?"

"Not at the moment, no." Roman watches as he gets himself situated, dread swirling in the pit of his stomach as he tries to remember the words from everyone else. He briefly wonders if it's too late to feign sickness. "Alright, I'm almost ready."

The moment comes when Logan sits down and pulls out a notebook.

"Now, then. What have you done today?"

Roman bites his lip and stares at the floor. He can't do it. He can't do this. He can't. He can feel his face burning and his eyes getting heavy with tears and he can't do this.

"Did you hear me?"

He takes a far-too-shaky breath and mumbles something.

"A little louder?"

"Nothing," he chokes out, "I—I didn't do anything."

The silence that follows feels like the slow rise of the executioner's blade. He bites his lip harder, trying not to sniffle. He can't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks but he can be quiet.

"Did you get out of bed?"

"What?"

"Did you get out of bed?"

"…yeah."

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"N-not a lot."

"What about lunch?" He nods. "And we've yet to decide about dinner…alright, did you finish any more of those series that you said make you feel better?"

Roman nods again, shame morphing into confusion as Logan finishes writing something down. He keeps asking things like how much water did you drink, and did you get any more rest, things that…aren't productive. When he finishes, he runs the pen down the list, counting each one.

"That's twelve things," he says, tearing the page out and setting the notebook aside, "I'd say that's pretty productive."

He looks over and sees the tears streaming down Roman's face and his demeanor shifts, standing and coming to wrap his arms around Roman's shoulders.

"Hey," he says softly, "talk to me. What's the matter?"

"I don't—I don't—" he sniffles— "I don't understand."

"You took care of yourself," Logan says gently, "that's being productive too."

"You were gonna be mad…mad 'nd dis'ppointed that I didn't do anything."

"Oh, little one," Logan whispers, pulling him into a proper cuddle, "I'm always proud of you. It's okay."

"R-really?"

"Really." A kiss, pressed to his forehead as Logan tucks him under his chin. "It's alright, little one. You're okay."

"Oh, thank god, I thought we were gonna have to murder you."

Remus—and the others—appear out of nowhere and Logan grunts when Remus tackles them both onto the couch.

"I told you it was gonna be okay, Roro."

"I know."

"Come on," Patton says, "let's all get ready for movie night, okay? We'll just have pizza for dinner."

"Oh, hell yes," Virgil cheers, helping Logan coax Roman to the floor, "I've been craving pizza for ages."

Roman just blinks as the others get settled, Logan's arms still firmly around him as Janus turns out the lights.

"Can—can I go to sleep?"

"If you want to, little one, go ahead. I'll stay."

"You will?"

Logan smiles, ruffling his hair gently. "I'm right where I want to be."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #janus sanders #sympathetic deceit #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #fic #dragonbabbles

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prince-rowan-of-the-forest · 3 months

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Squish

----

Things may be better, but Roman still struggles occaisonally. Remus is happy to help him out.

----

| Ao3 |

Written for: This Prompt

Warnings: Some self dep, mainly Roman thinking badly about himself again. overstimulation. vague reference to past self harm.

Pairings: Creativitwins, Roceit

Word Count: 1481

Notes:

Hello!!

Darkside Roman fic!

Thank you to Oatmeal for the prompt here on my Tumblr (feel free to leave a request yourself!), I did write this on my train ride - I just forgot to post it yesterday, haha.

----

Roman stood before his mirror. The floor length one, in his room, with ornate golden carvings around the frame. The mirror itself looked like something that belonged in a king’s chamber in a palace, not Roman’s bedroom. His room may be ornate, his red canopy bed was beautiful, with a carved wooden headboard and translucent red drapes. His desk was mahogany, also elegantly carved and looked like something straight out of a vicotorian drawing room, his plush red rug created a nice centrepiece to his room and his closet was full to bursting with clothes he would probably never actually get to wear, bis room was ornate, but it wasn’t fit for him.

A beautiful, elegant room, fit for a prince. Roman didn’t feel like he belonged there.

His tail had been the last thing to come through, he was pretty sure, and now it swayed behind him, brushing over the ground repeatedly in a way that irritated him to no end. He thought he should be used to it by now, after his week spent in the imagination. Which he didn’t remember most of, but Janus had reassured him that nothing bad had happened, he hadn’t hurt anyone – he, apparently, had actually been kind of cute. And he’d somehow gotten Virgil to join them for movie nights, too, he wondered how exactly he’d done that with his dragon brain.

Dark wings spread behind him, the bloody red of the scaley skin making him cringe away from his own reflection. Red was his colour, the colour of passion and love, romance. Red was also the colour of anger, of fire burning brightly, hurt, pain, distruction. When he was a Prince, the red meant love, a bright spirit, now…

His wings twitch and Roman reaches around himself to – what, try to get them off? He’d already tried that more than enough and all it did was hurt, there was no point, he was stuck like this now. His tail started to thrash behind him without his permission, he hated how out of control it was, he couldn’t stand how it moved when he was irritated or upset – it made it practically impossible to hide what he was feeling and the way it dragged against the hardrood floor of his room made him want to scream-

“Roro!?” His bedroom door slammed open, making his wings flare out in surprise. He whipped around to face his brother in the doorway, forgetting once more about his tail and only remembering when it slammed into the mirror, sending it crashing to the floor in shards. The golden carved frame was ruined, the mirror itself now only showing a fragmented reflection. Roman stared at it in shock, wondering if this reflection was more accurate.

“Oooh- that’s not good,” Remus said, “Sorry Ro – did I scare ya?”

“No- no, it’s- it’s fine I was just…” Roman trailed off, looking back at the mirror, “Focused.” He settles on.

“What? On admiring yourself?” Remus giggled, coming over, “Janny wanted me to come get you, you’re missing dinner.”

“I am?” Roman asked, looking at his twin with a frown, he thought dinner was still a few hours away.

“What’s going on in that silly head of yours, Ro?” Remus knocked on his skull like it was a door, and Roman winced away, batting halfheartedly at his hands, he hadn’t noticed Remus come over, “Oh c’mon, I can basically see your thoughts crowding up in there.”

“Just- leave it, it doesn’t matter,” Roman tried to wave him off, “I’ll be down for dinner soon.”

“Oh no, nope, absolutely not,” Remus said, shaking Roman lightly by the shoulder, “You only say crap like that when something’s really wrong, now what’s got my lil’ bro so upset?”

“Remus-“ Roman huffed, he was going for a warning tone, trying to get his brother to back off, though he was pretty sure it sounded a lot more pathetic than he was intending, “Just-“

“Nope, get, now, sit down, go on,” Remus practically shoved him back towards his bed and Roman’s tail curled around his feet as he was pushed to sit down as he continued to weakly protest. Once he was down, Romus practically threw himself on top of him, putting all of his weight on him. Roman hated to admit that it did help, even if he had to shuffle around so he wasn’t squashing his wings.

“There, better?” Remus asked, already knowing that ‘being squished’ as Remus called it, tended to help quite a lot, Roman nodded weakly, “Now, what’s the shit bothering you?”

“My stupid- stupid brain,” He huffed, looking up at the canopy of his bed, “I feel like- like all this stuff – it’s not -it’s not mine – it’s like I don’t- I don’t feel like I- I deserve it-“

“Deserve it?” Remus says, “Why the fuck wouldn’t you deserve it?”

“I don’t – because, because I’m hideous – because all I do is cause pain? I just- I hurt Patton and Logan, I hurt Virgil – I definitely hurt you, and I probably hurt Jan and I just-“

Repetitive, insistent tapping on his cheek drew him back out of the spiral he was descending into, Remus was frowning at him.

“Tell your brain to fuck off, Ro,” Remus said, bapping him on the forehead, “You’re cool as fuck, you haven’t hurt Janny or Virgin, you haven’t hurt the others nearly as much as they fucked you up, and yeah, being isolated from you hurt like a fucking soap bath but that wasn’t your fault-“

“I know that but – but this-“ he pulls at one of his wings again and Remus slaps his hand away.

“Is really fucking cool,” he finishes Roman’s sentence, “Literally, you can fly – and you can set shit on fire, how is that not cool as fuck?”

“And I’ve told you that- that doesn’t matter – it’s – it’s – dragons are evil,” Roman said, dragging his hand over his face, his claws leaving the lightest marks on his own skin, “They’re meant to hurt people destroy things, hoard gold, I don’t want to be a greedy, prideful, nasty creature.”

“Yeah, and we’ve told you every time you say this that you’re not any of that shit,” Remus said, pulling Roman’s hand away from his face so he doesn’t hurt himself any more. Roman whined, before coughing smoke right into Remus’ face and immediately panicking.

“Mm!” Remus said, “Thanks Roro,”

“What?”

“The smoke?”

“Yeah uh – why are you thanking me?”

“Cause’ it smells good?” Remus tilted his head, “Like free perfume.”

Roman can’t help the snort of laughter that escaped him. He should’ve known that Remus would enjoy smelling of smoke. Of course, something like that wouldm’t have upset him, he was Remus for goodness sake.

“Y’know Janny would say something poetic about how dragons were strong and awesome again if he heard this, right?” Remus poked him in the side and Roman batted his hands away again.

“Yeah yeah – I know – it’s getting better though, I swear.”

Remus hummed, flopping down properly on top of him, “These spirals not happening so often?” He asked.

“No – it’s just – sometimes it all starts to bother me – it’s like –“

“You’re feeling loads of things all at once and you feel like you’re whole body is gonna explode?” Remus suggests, “Like there are ants crawling all over your skin and you can’t get ‘em off?”

“Yeah- um- something like that,” Roman nodded.

“Is the squishing helping?” Remus asked.

Roman took a long, deep breath, “Yeah, thanks.”

“Awesome ‘cause if it didn’t I’d have to crush up all your bones.”

“…Thanks, Ree,” Roman shook his head with a fond smile.

“You feeling good enough for dinner?” Remus asked, “’Cause I think Janny’s made pie, and he’s gonna get worried ‘cause we’ve been gone so long.”

“I… I think so,” Roman nodded. Shoving Remus away so he could get up. He waved away the mess from the mirror and now that spot felt far too empty, but he wouldn’t let it bother him right now. His tail still dragged over the hardwood floor, but it didn’t bother him so much now. Remus grabbed him by the arm and dragged him downstairs.

“Sorry we’re late!” Remus yelled as they arrived in the dining room, “Roro was having a crisis again.”

“Is everything alright?” Janus looked up with concern clear in his expression. Roman smiled.

“Yeah – it is now,” he said, taking his seat.

“Mhm, I helped,” Remus said proudly. Janus chuckled.

“Thank you, Remus, I presume you did an awful job?”

“As always,” Remus nodded with a grin. Roman couldn’t help but smile as he settled into their company, finally able to relax now that they were both here.

When Roman returned to his room later that night, he found a new mirror in the old one’s place, this one was just as ornate, but made out of black marble.

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #remus sanders #creativitwins #darkside!roman #rowans writings

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sander-sides-writing · 8 months

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Sanders sides podcast ideas

with the roleslaying with roman podcast coming out (and with @warnadudenexttime 's podcast idea), I realized that this fandom needs more podcasts. So here I am bringing ideas

Pranks from the other side of the mindscape

This is for the darkside lovers. Starts about a week before the first sanders sides episode, covering the mostly the first season of sanders sides (the episode about Vigil leaving being a very clickbait-y title), pranks, and laughing about the lightsides for ten minutes or more

A Sidebook

The side bookclub (Janus, Logan, Virgil, and occasionally Roman), talking about books, intense arguing, book-to-film rants, and a full episode about how Janus let Remus join once, and never again

Creative musicals

The twins talking about musicals

#sander sides #ts sides #tss #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders

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vir2k · 10 months

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my sander sides hc ☆ purple = new update

skin + eye colour chart

general ;; ♡

not every side is good or redeemable. whereas MOST have good qualities (janus advocating for thomas' GOOD selfishness, virgil being thomas' self preservation in a sense), others may not.

the sides physical appearence actually differ greatly from thomas' outside of the fact that theyre all masc presenting. their appearence changes based on how they feel themselves to be, ie roman being taller, broader, and tanner than the others due to his elevated sense of vanity and want to be prince-like. these appeared can NOT be changed at will, and are more like how theyve "grown"

each side has their own personality outside of being apart of.. thomas'... erm. personality..

all the "darksides" have animal like features that coincide with their purpose! like janus' snake features! virgils are cat features, large ears, larger eyes, a tail, etc. remus has rat like features lol

the "light sides" get along with MOST "dark sides"

(almost) every side has functions outside of their "core" trait. for instance, virgil represents a lot of thomas' overwhelming feelings, not just his anxiety. like if thomas becomes too excited, thats something virgil feels. its commonly misunderstood that patton is the one harboring every emotion of thomas' outside of anxiety, but patton actually feels anxious too! its like, patton creates these feelings and feels them first, but if they become overwhelming for him they shift to virgil. the reason virgil was created in the first place was because patton always found it difficult to control anxiety and fear in moderation.

characters ;; ◇

VIRGIL visualizer

physical ; - black catlike features (ears, sharp teeth, tail, claws) that represent how he is viewed as being bad luck, an unwanted guest - longish hair, down to the base of his neck and his jaw line, almost angled like a mullet, black at the roots with purple ends/highlights, its fluffy enough that he can hide his ears in it - darkest eyes of the group, representing how he finds himself to be a particularly dark side of thomas, reflecting the lack of self worth and anxiety he feels as the representation of anxiety himself - pale with freckles from "sun damage", the freckles being his way of showing how theres still some light in him (as in, he can still spend enough time in the sun (bright side of life) for it to cause "blemishes"), pale because he thinks it fits his aesthetic of goth guy LMFAO - shortest of the group, representing how small he feels in comparison to the others (how his anxiety makes him feel small and scrutinized), skinny as well, but muscular in a lithe way, showing how powerful he is even if he doesnt look like much - large eyes (not comically so, but almost in a cute way), a soft look to his face, almost disney princess like, his physical forms way of representing how unthreatening anxiety can seem to those who arent experiencing him. eyes are larger to almost show how alert he always is. - instead of eyeshadow (which he does wear, but not as intensely), he has tired bruises under his eyes general ; - virgil is extremely sensitive to sounds, loud noises causes immediate anxiety, hes hyper vigilant and easily startled - virgil is technically both a light and dark side. anxiety can be good and bad. whenever he becomes too much (frequently and typically unwillingly), his voice begins to shift and become darker, as well as his general appearence and vibe around him becoming a lot darker. its as though his panic is connected to the world around him. hes also more ambiguous due to him encompassing all of thomas' overwhelming feelings rather than just anxiety, even positive ones. (its unfortunate that his overwhelm tends to turn into anxiety but you take what you get) - virgils core function is to be thomas' fear and self preservation, he just manifests in a way thats too much because he worries that if he isnt overbearing thomas will get hurt.

#text2k #sander sides #sanders sides #ssides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #sander sides hcs #ssides hcs #sanders sides hcs #headcanon #vir2k

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monkeythefander · 9 months

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Below are some of my Fem-Sides Headcannons

AN: Names of the sides

Logan: Logan

Virgil: Vigilia (Nickname: Vi)

Roman: Romy

Remus: Reem

Janus: Janna

Patton: Patli (Nickname: Pat)

Thomas: Tommi

• Logan used to only wear her hair in a ponytail. She wanted to keep it out of her face since she found it distracting when she worked. Romy constantly complained that Logan’s hair style was boring, and Logan got tired of the complaining. Logan goes to Patli’s room to ask for hair style advice since Pat is constantly putting her hair up in different styles. Pat introduced Logan to space buns and added little star hair clips. “Since you really like space, I thought this style would suit you” Patli said with a smile. Logan looked at herself in the mirror and quickly fell in love with the hairstyle. She has worn her hair like that ever since.

• Reem used to have really long hair but she didn’t really brush it and take care of it well. Janna got tired of having to help Reem brush out the knots when her hair got really tangled and suggested that Ree should cut her hair short. Reem immediately agreed and Jan helped with the hair cut.

• As kids, Romy and Reem would play dress up together. Romy would wear a Disney princess outfit and Reem would dress as a Disney villain.

• Back when Vi was a Darkside, she and the others would have horror movie nights and paint each others’ nails afterwards to calm down after the film. After being accepted by the light sides, Vi discovers Patli and Romy paint each others nails too. They offer to paint Vi’s nails for her, but the idea of anyone else doing this activity with her feels wrong.

• In terms of appearances, Romy and Reem both wear sparkly skirts with off the shoulder shirts. Romy’s emblem is on her shirt’s breast pocket and Reem’s is on the back of her skirt. Their skirts have pockets because everyone deserves pockets.

• Romy’s hair goes past her shoulders and is very soft. She puts it up into a messy bun whenever she goes on a quest in the imagination.

• Logan wears a polo shirt and pants. She wears her signature tie and glasses still and her emblem is still on her shirt.

• Patli wears a light blue dress with white shorts and a cardigan around her shoulders. She also wears white socks that have cat ears at the top of them. The light blue dress has little daisies on it. She wears her hair in pigtails or braids.

• Janna wears a black dress that goes a bit past her knees. She also has a yellow scarf she wears around her neck because she gets cold easily. Her hair goes up to her shoulders. She still wears her signature bowler hat.

• Vi wears a beanie, light purple t-shirt, ripped black jeans, a black patched up hoodie. Her hair is also short and she has side bangs to cover one of her eyes.

• Vi has a collection of fidget rings because Logan gets her a new one on her birthday each year. Vi’s grateful she’ll always have one to fidget with.

• Logan gets a new tie every birthday from Vi. Vi has Romy help her design and make the ties. When Reem discovers this gift tradition she decides to make Logan a bow tie. Reem puts little morning star images on the bow tie so Logan will be reminded of who made the bow tie every time she wears it.

If you’re interested in any more fem-sides headcannons let me know. I’ll probably post a second part for this list if I come up with any new ones.

-Monkey💜

#sanders sides #patton sanders #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #fem sides #headcannons #headcanon

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artofjhope · 2 years

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"I try and I try Thomas, but when it comes to being your hero or being listened to... it feels like it is harder and harder to remain your hero- especially. Especially when I FEEL like I am forcing you to try to hear me out at ALL." Roman says dejectedly off to the side under the shade of the tree with beams of light in the park shining down on them.

"Roman... I-" Thomas tries.

"Yeah; it can be a real bummer when wanna be hero over here is ignored-"

"Whaaaaa? I uh- you are....?" Thomas asks.

"Welllllll... Nah- thats less fun. You have been ignoring them so I'll ignore that."

Thomas stared at the orange cladded figure in a moment of a revelation, wanting nothing more than to have Janus shut him up for a second.

Roman on the other hand tried to remedy the situation to get back on topic- A Roman remedy sure but a resolution nonetheless. "I know that me like this is causing you to be here right now man... but can you put a hold on the entireeee attitude for like five minutes?" Roman asks as he picks up an orange that is tossed at him landing near his foot on the grass. "Or this orange won't be the only thing rolling."

Thomas slightly chuckled but quickly stoning his expression, crossing his arms he slightly looked at Roman, who seemed lost in thought as he held the orange. "All puns aside Roman, also happy birthday, but since Janus and Remus... and only recently hearing that Virge was a dark side,"

"That was like almost two years ago-"

"- how about I open up... you're asking so much of me to listen, not just you but the others, and right now I am willing, so please explain to me WHAT you want to say and what I know Ive probably been ignoring or lying to myself about. I can't call Logan, somethings blocking? Or stopping me, same with Virgil and even Patton. But I want to figure this out- figure out who I am, all of me, darksides or not. Truly." Thomas says, his eyes glossing over and his breathing began to shake unevenly, he looked terrified, worried, almost like Roman was about to rain on his parade.

stuck between fight and flight- no frozen. A deer in headlights, Roman's on coming confession might be the catalyst of a car crash and an injured deer.

Looking upon the orange as a dust of the golden rays hit Roman's hair, shoulders and emblem; the light hitting his gold buttons causing a glimmer across Thomas face. A small sigh could be heard and then as the glimmer got brighter and brighter until Thomas found himself in the Mind palace, face to face with Roman in a white open space. Roman slowly rolling the orange in his hand causing it to vanish into thin air as he reassures himself for whats to come. Looking at Thomas in this blinding white vacant space he begins to relay, discuss and be honestly open with his *gulp* feelings. What the different aspects are worried about and their concerns, knowing that the ignoring whatever this was goes beyond Thomas- it extends to all of them, dark and light alike.

#art #artist #my art #digital art #sketch #sanders sides #roman sanders sides #roman sanders fanart #roman sanders #tss #thomas sanders #sanders sides art #tss roman #ts princey

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cavalrysystem · 5 months

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Brother, I've got you.

Summary: after an argument with Logan, Roman seeks out his older twin for comfort.

A03 link:

Roman didn't know what he did wrong. Logan didn't seem busy, so Roman had been trying to coordinate a day of line running with the logical facet. "So if tomorrow doesn't work maybe we can do s-"

"Do you ever shut up, Roman?"

The question stings as it registers in Roman's ears, and the light sided twin looks at Logan with a confused look, eyebrows furrowed in upset. "W-what?" Roman murmurs, flinching as Logan begins yelling at him.

"I said do you ever shut up!? You never fucking listen to anyone! God sometimes I wish I could just grab you by the neck and squeeze until you stop fucking talking all the time!"

Roman's eyes fill with golden tears. The princely side throws the script in Logan's face and runs off, not hearing Virgil scolding Logan. As Roman runs, he thinks to himself 'maybe he's right?'. He doesn't realize he's heading right for the darksides until Janus is calling out for Roman to slow down, to stop, to breathe—

Roman spots his brother and only manages to get out a sob before he's going over and waiting for Remus to set aside the crochet project.

Remus, instantly, sets his current task aside and carefully pulls the younger twin into his lap, letting Roman bury his face in the nape of his neck. Remus rests a hand on Roman's back, starting to rock himself and Roman. "Hey Ro-bro." Remus cooed gently, forgetting Janus is in the room. "It's alright. Bubba's got you."

Janus opens his mouth to speak, but upon the glare the snake-eqsue side receives from the duke, shuts his mouth. Janus muttered under his breath, bewildered at the display Remus is showing. Nonetheless, the deceitful facet quietly enters the kitchen and starts preparing some cold chocolate milk for Roman and Remus.

"L-log-" Roman sobs as he curls up, hands curling into fists as he grasps at the fabric of his brother's costume, unable to bring himself to speak.

"Sssh, sssh...it's alright. You don't need to talk." Remus whispers reassuringly, combing his hand through Roman's hair gently as he keeps rocking the two of them. "I can take a guess as to what happened." Remus grumbled, sounding a bit upset.

"B-but-"

"But nothing, bubby." Remus assured, as Roman sits up and wipes the gold tears off his own face. "You don't have to talk. Just nod or shake your head." Remus hummed, waiting for Roman's approval.

After Roman nods, Remus takes a moment to remind himself to remain calm. "You had an argument with Logan, and he made a comment about how you like to talk?"

When Roman nodded, Remus's eye twitched. "Well, that fucker is wrong. He just has an orange painted stick up his ass." Remus pulls Roman close again, snapping his fingers so him and his twin both are in comfortable matching pajamas. "There. Better?"

"Mhm..."

"Good. Double-Dee, get in here!"

"Be paitent you street rat!" Janus called back, resulting in both the twins snickering. After a moment Janus returns to the living room carrying one red cup with a lid and straw, and a matching green one. "Thesssse are both the sssame." Janus held the cups out

Roman takes the green one, and Remus takes the red. Roman settles in Remus's lap, leaned up against his muscular twin. Remus always had the stronger build, it was why Roman loved Remus's hugs so much. "...thanks, Jan.." Roman murmurs softly, sipping the chocolate milk.

"It isn't a problem, Roman." Janus hummed, settling next to the two. "Now...who upset you? And do you want reassurence?"

Remus hummed, putting a hand on Roman's head and messing with his hair. "Jay, he already talked about it once. I'll check in with you later, okay?"

"Ugh, fine. I'll leave the remote here, I'll be in my room if you need me." And with that, Janus left.

Remus turned his attention to Roman. "Ro...I'm sorry we haven't hung out in a while-" he begins, taking a sip of his chocolate milk. "I dont...really have an excuse. I'm sorry."

"...'s okay." Roman murmurs as he leans against Remus. "I wasn't...the best brother either." Roman sighed softly as he took another sip of the chocolate milk. "Logan and Virgil have been riding my ass so much I can barely get away from them."

"I'll cut their dicks off!"

"No, thats- not what the issue is."

"Oh. Wait then...can you tell me what the issue is?"

Roman bit his lip, and nodded. "Promise you won't get mad...?"

"You know I can't promise that, Ro..." Remus said softly, quietly.

Roman sighed softly. "I know. But uhm...Logan and Virgil want Patton to ban me from visiting you..."

Remus's eye twitched. "Do you know why?"

Roman nodded. "They uhm.. think we're out committing crimes and stealing things."

"Uh-huh?"

"And I tried to explain that it's not true but they just..."

"Wouldn't listen?" Remus combed a hand through Roman's hair gently.

Roman nodded and took a breath. "I really like hanging out with you a-and Patton knows and doesn't want to stop me from doing that, but Logan and Virgil keep pressuring him.."

Remus sighed, rolling his ruby red eyes. "Of course they do, fuckin' pricks." Remus murmurs, tentacles squirming on his back.

Roman finished his chocolate milk. "...can we draw together?"

"Huh? Oh, like...pa...para.."

"Paralell play."

"Yeah that fuckin shit. Sure thing rommy." Remus waved his arm and the art supplies appeared, Remus setting the drinks aside. "You wanna paint, sketch, color, or...?"

"Whatever works." Roman grabbed a multi-media sketchbook and a mechanical pencil.

"Okay bubby." Remus hummed happily, nose scrunching up. He popped his lips and grabbed a canvas to start sketching on.

Roman also popped his lips, quietly rocking himself back and forth. Remus did the same, both twins needing some sort of motion stimuli.

The two sat next to eachother, happily drawing

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