#d&d humor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aboleth-eye · 4 months

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(besides bard) what's one class you can never take too serious? Mine is wizard

specifically necromancers.

All i can ever see is them raising the dead just to do the thriller dance

Hmm that's a hard one. Since I usually host games I end up playing practically every class at one point.

I kinda can't take sorcerers seriously. Magical nepo babies the lot of them. Grandad was special friends with an eldritch abomination or talking tree spirit and boom you've got powers.

They front as masters of raw arcane energy but all it takes is a single forehead flick to knock them the heck out

#vibing-with-trashy-trolls #d&d ask #ask me anything #dungeons & dragons #d&d #d&d humor #funny tabletop #tabletop humor

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dungeons-and-dictions · 8 months

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My fave phrase as a DM

#dnd humor #d&d humor #d&d memes #dnd memes #dm humor #rule of cool #let’s see what happens #critical fail #critical success

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frenchiefitzhere · 9 days

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I am still kinda new to D&D but I have discovered it has the same trap as being bilingual (French) in a French restaurant in the United States

Let me explain:

I go to Le bistrot hyper-français à la mode américaine oui oui très sexy très chic oh là là mon ami

I regarde le menu

I pick a thing

The server comes over

IF I pronounce the dish with the authentic, accurate French pronunciation, I am met with “Huh? What?”

If I pretend “Teehee I’m just a monolingual American like you, kind server. I’ll have the craw-SSAAAAHNTTTS* please”, THEN the VERY CLEARLY ANGLOPHONE server inevitably comes back with a flawless

“Oh? Les croissants? Oh oui oui. Our usual maître-pâtissier is out this week but…"

And then I want to take my escargot tongs and-- 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

The D&D equivalent goes like this:

Them: So tell me about your character.

Me: Uhhh…human fighter. 20 HP, I have a longsword and--

Them: But like what does she look like? How does she do her hair in the morning? Who’s her best friend? What's her trinket?

Me: Aw shit. I didn’t do any of that stuff yet! I'm so embarrassed!

Last week:

Them: So hey tell me about your character.

Me: She was born far, far away and settled in a coastal town to study as a cleric, but the town was burned down by marauders. So she wandered off into the mountains, and it was THEN that she took up the barbarian life, and she vowed that one day she would get revenge—

Them: No. I mean what’s your AC?

I can’t win. Get my escargot tongs and roll for damage.

*I'm using croissants as the example so the joke is more accessible. Don't @ me.

#damned if you do #damaged if you don't #d&d #bilingual #d&d problems #d&d 5e #d&d humor #french

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wild-doodie · 1 year

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#funny #funny pics #funny memes #meme #funnymemes #d&d humor

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mysticdragon3md3 · 9 months

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#cosplay #trigun #nicholas d. wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #crosses #humor #nostalgia #trigun stampede #anime conventions #kuronekocameo #comparisons

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3d34-2 · 13 days

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#how to become a musician #bard #d&d character #d&d humor #ad&d 1e #ttrpg #d&d #dungeons and dragons #d&d memes #ttrpg memes #old school renaissance #osr #ad&d #ttrpg community

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lord-soth-dk · 4 months

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#dungeons and dragons #d&d humor #humor

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moandotwav · 7 months

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I have been watching a lot of Dimension 20

#dimension 20 #d20 #dropout #college humor #brennan lee mulligan #aabria iyengar #matt mercer #dungeons and dragons #d&d

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turtletoria · 1 year

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the amount of people i see that have started making south park fanart is astounding if i ever start doing that shit you gotta take me out back and shoot me

#not art #sorry if this is a controversial take but i thought we all agreed like 10 years ago that this south park was like. uncool #like genuinely ruined so many gen z kids' sense of humor and created the most rude and insufferable people imaginable #also im not against people learning why its bad and changing their mind btw i love!! change!!!#its just so concerning and annoying how popular its been getting among teenagers D:

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the-gnomish-bastard · 10 months

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Some of you didn’t seem to understand how magic works in the sense of how you can access it. I’ll explain again.

If you gain magical power from making a deal with a more powerful being, you are a warlock. Sneaky lawyer.

If you gain magical power through teachings and studies, you are a wizard/artificer. (Artificers usually gain power through experimentation.)

If you gain magical power by pledging yourself to a cause, being, or idea, you are a paladin. Pretentious bitch.

If you gain magical power by praising a higher deity (and not making a deal), you are a cleric. Heal someone.

If you have magical power and you didn’t do anything to gain it, you are a sorcerer. Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. The rest of us had to work for our shit.

If you gain magical power by protecting nature and caring for plants and animals, you are a Druid. Fucking hippie.

If you gain magical power from your desire to entertain and also fuck, you are a bard. Stop trying to seduce my dad.

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dungeons-and-dictions · 9 months

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My first D&D campaign was homebrewed from a story I always struggled to write a cohesive narrative for. The campaign’s colorful cast:

Swashbuckling Changeling and flirt

Orkish gentleman and flirt

Broody Tiefling sorcerer

Human warrior that knows every dad joke

Teenage assassin addicted to gambling

Teenage summoner that murderhobos

Plague doctor with morbid fascinations

The result? Chaos. And lots of conflict resolution via parties and falling forward.

#d&d #dnd #d&d humor #the party party #story writing #we were all trolls #poor npcs #stop kissing all the npcs #I’m writing the story now #falling forward #kornosmatura d&d

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kyurochurro · 4 months

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"gentlemen i believe... we are lost."

(entering the new year with a stv drawing since im still on a st movie kick from the marathon my dad and i had HEHE >:D)

#churro art #digital art #illustration #fanart #star trek #star trek the original series #star trek tos #james kirk #jim kirk #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #bones mccoy #leonard mccoy #OKAY LOOK I KNOW STV IS LIKE THE ODD ONE OUT OF ALL THE MOVIES #and yes definitely watching it between 4 and 6 wsa a bit of a whiplash. BUT!!!!!!!!#it gave me many a main space trio interactions to enjoy so JUST FOR THAT. i count it as a blessing OK #also i cant help it a lot of the silly humor does get to me ToT ToT #anywayssss this is a bit different its completely lineless #mostly cus i also rewatched klaus and was enamored with the coloring and lighting!!!!#but anyways yeah this was mostly for fun i needed some time on the big ol tablet again and this helped a lot :D #immeeee gonna go watch s3 CUS I STARTED S3 OF TOS!!! WOOOO #OH laso the movies were GREAT its genuinely so awesome that me and my father can connect over st :"D

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demaparbat-hp · 1 year

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I believe July is trying to tell you something, Nico.

#NEW HYPERFIXATION EVERYONE #trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #vashwood #nicholas d wolfwood #wolfwood #I'm new here I don't know the tags help #tristamp #vash x wolfwood #trigun meme #trimax #vashwood week #Funny how these things work #I had no idea of what trigun was about #Then I see like ONE picture of Wolfwood and I'm like #This is it. You're the one. My favourite character ever. I love you.#And then I look up what the series is about.#Crazy that Nico actually fits my type of character to a t #Dark gloomy type who hides behind irony and sarcasm and dark humor? Check. Childhood trauma? Check.#Unknown intentions at first but eventually falls in love with the one they should/must betray? Check.#He was made for me. I know it.#So uh.#I should really really look up the tags for this.#trigun 98 #I guess.#Time to do field research #Btw is there a discord for Trigun/Vashwood stuff? There must be. I want in.#tristamp vash #I did this in like 30 min and TOMBI was playing in my head the entire time. I need help. The series's great but the song is killing me.

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cat-cosplay · 8 months

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iamnmbr3 · 1 month

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Things Draco Malfoy has Done in the Muggle World During His Postwar Probation

Attempted to order from a menu by speaking to it

Almost breached the Statute of Secrecy due to mistaking someone using clap-on-clap-off lights for a muggleborn using wandless magic

Got into a heated argument with the actors in a commercial because he thought the people in the tv were talking to him

Refused to walk in front of a car for fear of bumping into the invisible animals that obviously pull it

Panicked and responded "I have no idea what you're talking about" when asked what the "magic word" is

Complained that his telephone is broken because it periodically emits a loud ringing sound for no apparent reason

Run into Harry Potter unexpectedly in a pub, dropped everything he was holding, and automatically caught it with wandless magic without thinking, thus breaching the Statute of Secrecy in front of 47 muggles and the most famous Auror in Britain

Run into Harry Potter again in the same pub, thanked him for getting him out of those misuse of magic charges and apologized (again) for all of the more unpleasant bits of their history

Accidentally on purpose run into Harry Potter yet again in the same pub to find out why he comes to muggle London so often and how he's doing and to let him know that he's not remotely interested in whether the rumors in the Daily Prophet that he's split up with Ginny Weasley are true (they are)

Met Harry Potter in a pub for drinks to chat about old times except not the sad bits at least until they've had a few

Taken his muggle friends out to a pub that he definitely chose at random but which coincidentally Harry Potter also happens to be walking into so they might as well all sit down together

Had to admit that he may have mentioned him a few times when Harry is shocked to discover that all of Draco's muggle friends seemingly know his name despite the fact that he isn't famous in the muggle world

Met Harry and Harry's friends for drinks and somehow actually had a good time and not been vengefully poisoned by Ron Weasley or cursed by Hermione Granger or stabbed by Neville Longbottom or anything else dreadful

Had to explain to several bemused people that when Luna Lovegood says that they used to live together she doesn't mean they were involved romantically

Invited Harry Potter back to his flat and proudly shown him that he now knows how to make a telephone stop ringing (you just lift it up for a moment and then slam it back down and that fixes it) and then told him off for laughing

Visited Harry Potter at his flat, also in muggle London though protected by the Fidelius Charm for extra privacy, met a very small and excitable owl and had a protracted but good natured argument about which of them was actually better at Quidditch (because obviously if Draco had had a Firebolt he would have won every match)

Got his wand back and immediately transfigured everything in his flat just because he can and because it feels so good to use magic again and then cast Rictusempra on Harry because clearly Draco is the superior dueler and also because he likes the sound of Harry's laugh

Kissed Harry Potter.

#humor #drarry #Harry Potter #hpdm #h/d #harry/draco #harry x draco #Draco Malfoy #harco #draco x harry #draco/harry #drarry headcanon #drarry headcanons #drarry fic #ish ?#my post #my fic #ish?

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lord-soth-dk · 4 months

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#adventurer problems #d&d humor #humor #d&d

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