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#crushing maybe
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This is the kind of shit I end up writing because I get sudden inspo, specifically the inspo is from @dicktat, enjoy
Title: "News Report: Femboy Hooters Exorcism?!"
Category: What The Fuck??? /j
Warnings: Body horror.
Summary: Lawan and Aiden work under a high church that specialises in exorcism, tonight they have been called to...Femboy Hooters to eradicate a demon they may be familiar with.
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Aiden was halfway through a thick, leather bound book when Lawan burst into his office, slamming the door open and marching up to his side with a large grin on her face, chest heaving from a laugh seemingly bubbling up, "What's so funny?" the shorter man asked, smile forming across his own face, "You aren't going to believe this, Aiden!" she snorted, her grin twitching at the corners, "Well?" Aiden spoke curiously, eyebrows raising and head tilting slightly to the side, "We need to exorcise Femboy Hooters."; the Priest's book toppled to his office floor as he stared at his work partner, Lawan bursting into a fit of laughter, wheezing and gasping as she continued to watch Aiden's blank expression.
The man struggled to regain his composure for a moment, blinking rapidly with furrowed brows, "What...?" he asked, Lawan's giggling subsided slightly, the occasional snicker bursting from her chest as she straightened up, brushing her black blouse down, "Femboy Hooters, Aiden. We have a job there." her mouth trembled and the smile returned, followed by more laughter, Aiden paused once more before kneeling down to pick up his heavy book, placing it upon the shelf, turning his head back to look at Lawan, a frustrated smile on his lips, "Never a dull fucking moment at our church." he mumbled, earning a high pitched wheeze from the woman.
After his work partner finally sorted herself out, pinning her hair back into place and drinking a cold glass of water, the two made their way swiftly down the cold halls of the church, "Is there any information on the...Femboy Hooters...problem?" Aiden asked, glancing at Lawan with a raised brow, "Level three demon case, Aiden. No human casualties but, possession is involved, should be a done and dusted case!" she smiled back at him, he smiled in return with a nod, "Right!" he hummed in agreement, they finally made their way to one of the outside facing doors, shoving them open and stepping into the icy cold night air, feet crunching on the gravel courtyard as they walked to another door, inside facing, entering that one to walk down yet another cold corridor, "I wish this church was smaller.", Aiden snorted and clasped a hand over his mouth before the laugh could escape, "Un- Understandable." he breathed out, pausing by the supply door and forcing it open, retrieving everything they'd need for a level three demon; a black briefcase labelled "Level Three Case" would contain it all, though Aiden grabbed some garlic and dried sage for extra measure.
-
The white van skidded down the city streets, passing brightly coloured store windows and warmly lit bars, Lawan leaned her head against the passenger side window as Aiden drove, "Any updates on the case?" the Priest spoke up, the corners of his mouth twitching with a smile he was resisting, "I haven't had anything come through, so I assume nothing interesting enough to report has happened!" Lawan responded with a shrug, Aiden sighed and made another risky turn down a street, bumping into the pavement, "Remind me how you have your driver's licence again?" the woman beside him asked, "I don't have one.", "Huh-" she said with raised brows.
A few more poorly made turns and several skipped red lights later found the chaotic, religious duo in the orange lit parking lot of the local Femboy Hooters, established in 2020, Aiden hopped out of the van and swung open the back door of the vehicle, retrieving the black briefcase, "I'm surprised the lights are still on, honestly." Lawan called to him as she stepped out of the van, "Yeah, that's rather unusual. I'd expect them to at least be flickering." Aiden responded, slamming the door and jogging to stand beside her, "Oh! Nope, the kitchen lights are flickering!" Lawan pointed to the small windows that seemingly showed the kitchen, "Huh! Cooking demon?" the shorter man snorted, clicking open the briefcase and retrieving the holy cross before bursting into the restaurant.
"REVEAL YOURSELF, DEMON!" Aiden hollered into the lit establishment, holding out the holy cross in front of him, Lawan was close behind him, holy water in her left hand and holy bible in her right, "I'll be right there, just give me a moment, would you?" a voice echoed through the room, it was hard to pinpoint where it was coming from, Aiden blinked and his posture went from ready to pounce to stood up in suprise, "Uh..." he glanced at Lawan and she glanced at him with an equally confused expression, suddenly a man rose from behind the bar counter, the movement was limp and rigid, unnatural, he was blonde and thin, dressed in the establishments uniform, eyes an inhuman green, "Good evening, how may we serve you tonight?" he asked, the voice was the same voice that echoed through the room moments ago, but it was absolutely not his.
Aiden gripped his cross close and stared at the man, "Release the boy, demon." he commanded, the man raised a brow curiously and his fingers drummed weirdly against the counter, "How may we serve you?" he asked again, Lawan scoffed and began shaking the holy water threateningly, "Don't make me use this, creature of brimstone!" she called, those green eyes shot wide and the body the demon piloted dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes, hidden behind the counter once more, "That is no way to treat public service staff." the voice rang out through the restaurant, "Give up the charade! Release the staff!" Aiden spat, stepping further into the table scattered hall, "Enough with the shouting, reverend.", Lawan barked out a laugh at the demons audacity to request Aiden not shout.
"Release the staff and the building, or else." Aiden lowered his tone, hoping perhaps the softer tone would allow them an opening to banish the demon to it's true home, "Now that's a better way to speak, isn't it?" the echoing voice sounded overly pleased, another limp body rose from behind a table, arms spasming and trembling as the poor, possessed worker stood to his feet, his hair was a deep ginger and eyes that same violent green, "I'll ask you again, sir and madame, how may we serve you?" he spoke with a strange smile, Lawan stared blankly for a moment, "I..." she trailed off, "You can serve us by leaving these people be!" Aiden called, voice still soft but commanding, the employees green eyes hardened slightly and the relaxed, yet unnatural posture, stiffened, "This is getting old, reverend. Please, order! Enjoy! Relax!" the man's shoulders raised as he spoke in a deeper tone, "Release the staff, hellspawn!" Lawan popped the cork off of the holy water and held it in a way that one slight movement would send droplets tumbling to the floor, the possessed staff member froze up and his body dropped to the floor like the bartender before him.
"You're being unfair!" the echoing voice yelled, lights flickering and wall fixtures trembling, "Just- For gods sakes, play along, would you?! I'm bored, kid!", Aiden looked at Lawan with raised brows, she stared back with a cringing expression, "...No?" Aiden responded, a lightbulb burst just above his head causing him to yell out in suprise, cross scattering to the floor, "I'll be taking that!" the voice laughed, the cross was seemingly carried away by the god damn floorboards, Lawan's face contorted into one of horror and she dropped the holy water to the floor, sending the liquid onto the boards, the cross came to a sudden hault as the echoed voice screamed, "FUCKING HELL, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" it snarled, Aiden dove for the holy cross and held it before him threateningly, Lawan clutched the holy bible close to her chest, the two waiting with baited breath for the demon to do something.
Anything.
The kitchen doors burst open with a clatter, a figure stumbling out with an angry groan, lights flickering overhead as it appeared, "BEGONE." Aiden yelled, pointing the cross in its direction, the demon looked up at him with a pained expression, "Reverend, for christ sakes!" it breathed, straightening its posture, Lawan almost felt like slamming her head through a table, "OH, FUCK ME. NOT YOU AGAIN!" she groaned at the demon before the two, Aiden felt her annoyance in ten fold, "Hakon." he grumbled, letting his cross droop down with his arm, the green clad demon smiled nervously, holding his arms out in a surrendering pose, "I was honest when I said I was bored! I swear, Father Aiden, Sister Lawan." he nodded at the two, "Heavens above, don't call me that!" Aiden laughed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and straightening himself up, "Release the staff, Hakon. And the building." Lawan interjected, earning an approving nod from Aiden.
The demon huffed to himself and placed his hands on his hips, "Can you guys at least play along for...Five minutes with me?" he pleaded, "I'm so bored!", "No, Hakon. Release the staff." Aiden spoke, slowly holding up the cross, "I'll compromise with you-" he continued, pausing when he saw Lawan's disgusted expression, "You release the staff, and the restaurant, and...We'll let you possess the van for an hour before we send you to whence you came.", Hakon's bright green eyes lit up, cat like pupils growing large, "Really?" he asked, "This is pathetic..." Lawan mumbled behind her hand, Aiden simply nodded and gestured to the room around them, "Staff. Restaurant. Release. We'll meet you outside." he finally said as he stepped beyond the front doors.
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bixels · 1 month
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Rewatched 1978 Superman and remembered how much of a total dreamboat Christopher Reeve is, both as Clark Kent and Superman.
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positively-bi · 10 months
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Inspired by the brief period of time I thought I was polyamorous because I felt the same way about my boyfriend as I did my best friends and I hadn't clocked yet that all of those feelings were platonic
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milkcioccolato · 4 months
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We all start with a little one on the ear😌
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bunnions · 5 days
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something something katsuki can't keep his hands off you when he's had a little too much to drink (see: denks the worst at-home bartender in the world, believes a shot of vodka really means four).
it starts off innocently enough, gathered in eijiro's living room, when he cracks a foul-mouthed joke and you double over into side with laughter. the heat starts to creep up his neck, but it's easy to blame it on the alcohol. he nudges you back playfully, a grin quirking at the corner of his lips.
two more shots of whatever vile concoction denki mixed up and he's melting into the couch. he's sitting on one end, a little squished with how mina, eijiro, hanta, and denki are piled on top of each other - chatting away, drinking, and desperately trying not to make eye contact with the wasted blond. katsuki's got you perched all pretty in his lap because "there isn't any room left to sit." a convenient excuse.
you're flushed and trying to keep up with mina's story and you're having a great time with your friends but katsuki's hands are looping casually around your waist and pulling you closer to him and he's leaning a little on you for support and you feel a zing speed down your spine as his lips brush against your arm. an accident.
his head's a little fuzzy, but katsuki's practically melting with the alcohol swimming through his veins. and you're so soft it's making everything even fuzzier. before he even finishes that thought he's testing out the plush of your waist, your thighs, pinching a little at the small of your back, and back down to your thighs. you squirm in his hold, and he retaliates with a soft grunt and by biting what he could reach.
the spit on your arm is more uncomfortable than the rather tame bite he gives you. you can see his eyes wobble, flitting to different parts of your face. "hol' s'till," he garbles and your heart leaps into your throat. you can feel four sets of eyes boring into you both, but you can't break away from katsuki's heavy, lidded, lovesick gaze.
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blog-of-frontiers · 2 months
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The thing about Wyll is that he Gets It. He knows the story. He knows the kind of man his father is and the kind of man he was supposed to be. He knew what Mizora was when he made the pact. He knew what it meant. And he was just a kid, and his city needed saving, so he did it, and he paid that price, and even knowing all of that he still tried to appeal to his father for understanding and forgiveness.
He sold his soul to do the right thing. And he was cast out. And he knew what character that should have made him.
He knows the story he's in, and every day he chooses who he wants to be instead.
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piratefishmama · 1 month
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Steve being convinced (read: forced) by the highschool drama teacher to play the part of "King" in a production, not a speaking role, his job is to just... look the part, look down upon his subjects from a throne, sit above them, powerful, regal, with the side note that he has to maintain that air of disinterest through the whole thing until he's 'assassinated/usurped'.
he only says yes because he was promised an automatic pass if he did it, as no-one else could really fit and maintain the look the teacher had envisioned.
and Eddie Munson, playing the role of court jester, putting his whole jestussy into making Steve crack both his character, and a smile.
because Steve wouldn't get his automatic pass if he broke character, and Eddie feels it's his sworn duty to not let King Steve coast through school on his good looks.
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chronicowboy · 1 month
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sorry actually tommy is perfect for buck's first guy. like they're both so embarrassing. buck talking about tommy's fake mouth static in an accidental plea to be kissed. tommy fluctuating between calling him evan and kid. on god you two are going to be so disgusting together and i love it so much.
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forestmossling · 29 days
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reporter @ an accomplished rockstar!eddie’s boyfriend, steve harrington, a middle-school teacher in a dorky sweater vest: how does it feel dating somebody who’s waaay out of your league?
eddie, pushing himself in front of the camera: amazing, i never thought i’d be this happy
inspired by @singswan-springswan’s meme
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midnightliar · 4 months
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i LOVE the way aragorn is like everyone's friend. he's like the popular hot girl whos nice to everyone and you kind of wonder if maybe it's fake but then she offhandedly mentions some detail about you that she remembered or asks how your mom is doing and you can tell she really means it and cares about the answer. and she volunteers as a tutor after school also.
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artlyloser · 8 months
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She looks like she could throw me over her shoulder ~~
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inthe-echo · 7 months
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Just wanted to sketch her but got carried away 🫣
I will have to draw the other gryffindor girlies now…
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go-see-a-starwar · 2 months
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Hayden Christensen x Darth Vader | 2005 - 2022 - 2024
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puppyeared · 2 months
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id fumble him so bad
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noxcheshire · 29 days
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HOT TAKE
But I like the idea of the phantom world being reincarnated into very unexpected people.
Like I still love the idea of Danny being Martha or Thomas.
Or Dani being another clone, or her being Damian, and Sam being Poison Ivy and or Martha, etc.
But I also like the unhinged nonsense of Sam being a clone in the dc world — ideally Kon, and Dani (or Dan) being Bruce, while Vlad is gasp Thomas Wayne.
HEAR ME OUT
JUST HEAR ME OUT
I just think the idea of Danny finding out that in an alternate world he married a nicer and age appropriate Vlad and had the son the guy has been demanding for so long in their world is hilarious.
The absolute mental breakdown that boy will go through: this is my son, and I love him, look at him go being a hero and kicking ass, but holy fucking Ancients above I fucked VLAD —
And on the other hand, can you imagine Bruce’s reaction? To his alternate mom being a sassy teenage boy, his alternate dad being an older guy ‘preying’ on this kid that absolutely HATES the guy, and being an absolute creep while his alt self **gestures to your choosing** is either a tiny girl menace or the biggest and meanest growling ghost that is BARELY tolerating being in the same space as the living.
But they also hate his alternate dad and would punch him into next week with Mom! Danny.
This man will being going THROUGH IT.
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duckytree · 10 months
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book jaime lannister is the funniest boy because from birth he’s constructed a grand narrative in his mind that he is the perfect knight to his sister-wife’s perfect maiden, a relationship that exists solely to fuel their mutual narcissism and help him cope with his chronic identity crisis/trauma, only to see a buff girl naked for the first time and come to the subconscious realization that it’s actually HIM who is the maiden to brienne’s knight and proceeds to spend the rest of their trip using preschool tactics of annoying her to death so that she can notice him and sweep him off his feet (it works)
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